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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, Sheldon, I know I was supposed to return this DVD a long time ago, and I know we rented it on your card. But it’s been, like, seven years and clearly nothing bad has happened. So in-in-in-instead of being a giant pain in the ass like you always are, what if this one time you just tried staying calm?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That seems like a reasonable request. Although so did, hey, Leonard, would you mind returning that DVD?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m sorry. I’ll, I’ll take care of it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That seems like a reasonable request. Although so did, hey, Leonard, would you mind returning that DVD?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m sorry. I’ll, I’ll take care of it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I mean it, I’m going to." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And you’re going to stay calm?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I said I would." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "How about that? Sheldon’s being reasonable." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Listen to me, Sheldon. I am not going to Lebanon to return Super Mario Brothers the movie." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, it might be fun. You love hummus." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why isn’t this bothering you? Isn’t your brain getting itchy? This is on your card. This could be ruining your credit score. Why isn’t this making you crazy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I have something to tell you, but I want you to promise not to flip out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Seven years ago, I found out the DVD was late and I paid for it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why isn’t this bothering you? Isn’t your brain getting itchy? This is on your card. This could be ruining your credit score. Why isn’t this making you crazy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I have something to tell you, but I want you to promise not to flip out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Seven years ago, I found out the DVD was late and I paid for it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was going to mention it at the time, but then I thought, some day, this might be a teachable moment." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Aaaah! I, you, how can, what!" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah. Listen, I have to kinda sneak out for a while." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, goodbye." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, wait! If anyone asks you where I went, you don’t know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Where are you going?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t tell you that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who would ask me?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t tell you that, either." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So you brought me in here to inform me that you can’t tell me where you’re going and you can’t tell me who might ask?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, I really didn’t think this through." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, a moment." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Where are you going?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t tell you that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who would ask me?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t tell you that, either." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So you brought me in here to inform me that you can’t tell me where you’re going and you can’t tell me who might ask?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, I really didn’t think this through." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, a moment." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If someone, and of course, we don’t know who this would be, does ask where you’ve gone, what should I say?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know. Just tell them I went to the office." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who would ask me?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t tell you that, either." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So you brought me in here to inform me that you can’t tell me where you’re going and you can’t tell me who might ask?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, I really didn’t think this through." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, a moment." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If someone, and of course, we don’t know who this would be, does ask where you’ve gone, what should I say?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know. Just tell them I went to the office." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you going to the office?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, a moment." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If someone, and of course, we don’t know who this would be, does ask where you’ve gone, what should I say?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know. Just tell them I went to the office." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you going to the office?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Then how can I say it convincingly?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just say, Leonard went to the office." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. Leonard went to (exaggerated) the office." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What is? No, not like that! Just, Leonard went to the office." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you going to the office?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Then how can I say it convincingly?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just say, Leonard went to the office." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. Leonard went to (exaggerated) the office." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What is? No, not like that! Just, Leonard went to the office." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This would have worked out a lot better if you’d just told me you were going the office." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m going to the office." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "See? Why don’t I believe you?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m going out for a while." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Cuddles?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, Cuddles. We cuddled. Grow up, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Amy, what are you doing here?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard is employing a schoolyard paradigm in which you are, for all intents and purposes, deceased. He intends to act on this by not speaking to you, feigning an inability to hear you when you speak and otherwise refusing to acknowledge your existence." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s just ridiculous. Why are you cooperating with him?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t make the rules, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Howard, come on, I didn’t plan on this. These things just happen. Usually not to me, but they do happen." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He’s in my spot. Leonard, make him stop being naked in my spot." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Howard, what are you doing?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Huh? Would it work if I just punched you in the face?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, actually it would, but let’s see how the lid goes. I’m not strong enough, Leonard, you’ll have to do it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, for god’s sakes." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, she’s doing it again." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I think it upsets Sheldon when you play with the food." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I would like us to stop fighting about our possessions." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, I’d like that, too." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In fact, I want you to keep the apartment flag, and I’m not just saying that because it touched your genitals." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You promise?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock, knock) Leonard, (Knock, knock, knock, knock) Leonard, (Knock, knock, knock, knock) Leonard…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I need to speak to you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s two o’clock in the morning" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s important." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I highly doubt that. Go away. (Long pause). Are you still out there?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, Leonard, you know, who should keep this? On the one hand, I love Mr. Spock more than you do. On the other hand, I care more about clocks than you do." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So you think you should keep it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll be right across the hall. You’ll probably be able to hear it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Keep the clock, Sheldon." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello, President Siebert. Thank you for taking my call. I just wanted you to know that you can now expect enthusiastic participation from me regarding my discovery. Oh, no, no, no, no. No need to thank mNo, thank my friend, Wil Wheaton. For your information, I have nine friends, hmm? Ten if we include you. Nine it is. Ah, it’s ten. I’ll count Wolowitz. Hello, friend Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, you’re in a good mood." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "With a hologram? Nice. Hey, do you see this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m in the matrix, Leonard, I see everything." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’ve got to be kidding me. You friended Stuart on Facebook?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When I thought the element was real, I didn’t want it. But now that Leonard made it not exist, I want it more than anything in the world." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "The, the element never existed. I didn’t take it away, science took it away. Be mad at science." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t you dare use science against me. Science is my best friend. Oh, good, I’m back up to eight." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Will you tell him he’s out of his mind." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Mitzy’s dead?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She was old and blind, Leonard. What choice did we have?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t believe this. Why am I the last to know?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Technically, Howard’s the gear head. Leonard’s just a dime store laser jockey." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What’s the idea?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The smartest? All right, you know, I may not have a firm grasp on sarcasm, but even I know that was a doozy. Leonard, you can’t live in fear of this man forever." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I got this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You clearly don’t. What my spineless friend lacks the courage to say is you’re a terrible person who took advantage of his tiny size, his uncoordinated nature and his congenital lack of masculinity." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is a list of your heinous acts against Leonard. One of which is certainly the cause of him wetting his bed well into his teens." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "14 is not, oh , yeah, never mind." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It wasn’t fun for me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re being too kind, Leonard. You ruined him." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, guys." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In case it comes up again, this right here is an imposition." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What was I supposed to do? He needed a place to sleep it off." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s the one to beat. Leonard?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, if anything, I’m trying to get my Sheld-off." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I must say, Leonard, when I first heard your idea for Giant Jenga, I was sceptical." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t blame you. Tiny Twister was a complete bust." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I was wrong. The looming threat of being crushed under a pile of lumber does add a certain spice. I’ve never felt so alive. (Answers door) Oh, hello, Alex. Uh, let me go get you last night’s recordings." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What recordings?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, Leonard, that’s actually a valid idea. Very good." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Can you say that and not make it sound like I’m a cat who learned how to use the toilet?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Huh, yeah?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Get him out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, Dennis, I’ll show you the rec centre, they’ve got nautilus equipment." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Get him out Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, Dennis, I’ll show you the radiation lab." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, we need to stop for a minute." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, please, we can talk during our break. We have one coming up at midnight. We’ll need snacks." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re not in charge. It’s my idea. I’m in charge." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, of course you are. Look at the organizational chart. You’re clearly listed as founder." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, yes, and you’re listed as Chief Executive Officer, Chief Financial Officer and Chief Operating Officer." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re making it too complicated. Why not stick to the basics? Go shopping for clothes while Leonard and I sit in those uncomfortable chairs and hold your purses, hmm? I know I’d hate that. Leonard?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, yeah." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nah, you’re right, that’s dumb." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard, great news. We discovered a medium-sized asteroid together." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Wow, that’s amazing. I’m in a pretty great mood today myself." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay. Guess we’re gonna talk about you now." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, we are, because Dr. Gallo made me realize that I’m a worthwhile person and that my feelings matter." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What? Yeah." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is a disaster. I distinctly ordered the Leonard Nimoy Mr. Spock cardboard standee. Why would I feel safer with Zachary Quinto at the foot of my bed?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know, he was pretty badass on Heroes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re right, I’ll give him a shot." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hang on. Penny, do you have plans for dinner?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In anticipation of their arrival, I’ve bagged some evidence. One of the thieves had the audacity to quench his thirst while ransacking our home. You should be able to pull some good prints off this. And now, here are my prints so you can rule me out as a suspect." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What about me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry, Leonard. It’s too early to discount the possibility of this being an inside job." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Would I be completely out of line to ask you to shoot him?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, that sounds fun." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, smashing. Now, Leonard, do you know how to get there?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hand me the bat." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It was a late-night vote. We were all exhausted, and he was threatening to filibuster. It’s not technically Road Trip God, it’s Travel Supervisor." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, you are my roommate, my source of transportation and you help me fold my sheets when they come out of the dryer. You are safe." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Can I whistle?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. You got even smaller. I love it. Uh, Meemaw, this is Leonard. Leonard, this is my Meemaw." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hi. So nice to finally meet you. Let me take this for you, Meemaw." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Gentlemen, I have the solution to our Comic-Con problem. We don’t need them. I’m starting my own convention." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, just buy scalped tickets with us." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I told you. Buying scalped tickets is against the rules. If you get caught, you get banned from Comic-Con for life. Life, Leonard. You’re gonna feel pretty silly when we’re 80 years old, and you have to drive me down there and then wait in the car for three days." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do what you want. We’re getting scalped tickets." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, Leonard, if you’re happy and you know it, no need to clap your hands, because I have an emotion detector." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "How’s it working out?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Surprisingly well." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s great, I’m happy for you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have good news." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And you had to barge in here and wake us up in the middle of the night?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Your cell phone was off." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Because we didn’t want to be disturbed." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, ooh! And that makes Leonard angry." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, it doesn’t." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I said the truth. You don’t want to live with Leonard, and you know it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Since when don’t you want to live with me?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Since when don’t you knock? It’s like the only good thing about you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Social niceties have been suspended, Leonard. We’re in a state of a emergency. The world has descended into darkened turmoil. Lawlessness and savagery are the order of the day." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Fine, what is it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m making s’mores. I wanted to alert you in case you smelled caramelizing marshmallows and thought a nearby candy factory was on fire." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "S’mores, huh? Good for you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Social niceties have been suspended, Leonard. We’re in a state of a emergency. The world has descended into darkened turmoil. Lawlessness and savagery are the order of the day." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Fine, what is it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m making s’mores. I wanted to alert you in case you smelled caramelizing marshmallows and thought a nearby candy factory was on fire." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "S’mores, huh? Good for you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, or good for us if you sign here and reinstate the full roommate agreement." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, thanks. I’m good." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s a somewhat ambiguous response. Am I going or not?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, at this point, I would go by myself before I would take you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, really." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well then, you leave me no alternative. From this moment forward, we can be roommates, but we will no longer be friends." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m sorry you feel that way." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t think you’re fully aware of the ramifications here, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why don’t you enlighten me?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And how would I do that?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You say thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Every time?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s not crazy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Counter-proposal. We reinstate the full roommate agreement with the following addendum, in the spirit of Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, once a year, we set aside day to celebrate all your contributions to my life, both actual and imagined by you. We could call it Leonard’s Day." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I kind of like the sound of that." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, I mean, I, I, I got the money first." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Smart. Get paid up front. Yeah, I think you have a real knack for gigolo work, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, I’m gonna go lie down." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It was obviously effective, Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist. Perhaps if she’d also denied him Christmas he’d be a little better at it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I guess you’re right. See you later." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait! Leonard! Wait! What am I going to do for dinner?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come with me to Raj’s and eat there." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t do that. What if he serves haggis and blood pudding?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I really doubt that’s what he’ll serve." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Buona sera, Luigi’s Pizza. Buona sera. It means good evening in Italian. May I say, having to explain that to you calls into question the authenticity of your ristorante?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, I’m out of here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Un momento. Oh, for heaven’s sake, now you’re being deliberately stupid. (to Leonard) Where are you going?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m having dinner with Priya at Raj’s. I think Howard’s going to be there. You want to join us?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, I’m out of here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Un momento. Oh, for heaven’s sake, now you’re being deliberately stupid. (to Leonard) Where are you going?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m having dinner with Priya at Raj’s. I think Howard’s going to be there. You want to join us?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But tonight’s Thursday. On Thursdays, everybody comes over here and has pizza. Or a reasonable facsimile prepared by someone claiming to be Luigi, but who sounds suspiciously like Jackie Chan." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Can’t we make a one-time exception for tonight?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Maybe John Connor’s aboard and she’s protecting him from an evil Terminator." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Unlikely. That’s a television show, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Actually, I thought the first two renditions were far more compelling. Previously I felt sympathy for the Leonard character, now I just find him to be whiny and annoying." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just eat your tangerine chicken." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hi. Hello. Oh, and a special hello to Leonard, who needs to be mentioned by name." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Subtle." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I can’t take all the credit. I spoke with Leonard’s mother, and she made me feel better." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know who you talked to, but that wasn’t my mother." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well said, old chap. I thought eloquence had died, here it stands before us. Starting today, it’ll go Gettysburg Address, I have a dream, and what he just said." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, now he’s a genius? All you ever do is make fun of him and engineering." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, please. His mother just died." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re being ridiculous." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, lots of people could’ve had that idea, but very few people could’ve worked out the math the way I did." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Lots of people also didn’t have that idea, like everyone in the entire world except for me." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Baby’s listening." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I spoke to the reporter at the magazine." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What happened? Did you tell him it was my idea?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I did." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you. What did he say?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He said they made the editorial decision to only cite the lead scientist." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why did he think you’re the lead scientist? It was my idea." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, this is your enterprise, so it’s ultimately your decision, but based on the quality of his work, I’d strongly recommend that we let Leonard go." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You want to fire me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What I want is irrelevant. This is Penny’s decision. Penny?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Excuse me, but if I did such a bad job then why do we already have orders?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If she doesn’t think that we should apply for this patent, she’s being patently absurd." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Good one." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, explain it to her." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, uh, he’s crazy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have spent my whole life trying to bring order to the universe by carefully planning every moment of every day. But all my efforts, our dinner schedule, my pyjama rotation, my bowel movement spreadsheet, it’s clear now, I’ve been wasting my time." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Good. I’m taking that disgusting chart off the fridge." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I’ve been working on an opening joke for our lecture at Berkeley." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, I like to laugh. But say it anyway." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. Leonard?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, geez, I don’t know if I can ditch Priya two nights in a row." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "PS4." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, where have you been?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard. If I was prone to sarcasm, I’d say I was pulling off a major heist at the museum of laundry baskets." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I meant, golly, Sheldon, you’ve been gone a long time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. Yeah, well, I was waylaid by Penny, Bernadette and Amy. They made me reveal confidential information about Howard’s father." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What information?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I don’t think I can do this." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What, are you kidding? You’re a semi-pro." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. We are committing genetic fraud. There’s no guarantee that our sperm is going to generate high IQ offspring, think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, this was your idea. A little extra money to get fractional T1 bandwidth in the apartment." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s interesting. Leonard can’t process corn." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Wu-uh, do you have some sort of a job?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, would you be a lamb?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She’s kidding." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard, I have something for you. Per our roommate agreement, this is your 24-hour notice that I will be having a non-related female spending two nights in our apartment." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "When you say non-related female, you still mean human, right?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, are you in the shower?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t hear you, I’m in the shower." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I asked if you were in the shower, but that’s moot now." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Moot. Rendered unimportant by recent events." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t hear you, I’m in the shower." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have to skip the chitchat. Emergency." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What kind of emergency?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mathematical. 32-ounce banana smoothie, 16-ounce bladder." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You might not want to do that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I assure you I do." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m not alone in here." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Boy, a restraining order from Stephen Hawking. It’ll look so nice next to the ones he’s already got from Leonard Nimoy, Carl Sagan and Stan Lee." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, do you recall when I said that I was going to revolutionize humanity’s understanding of the Higgs boson particle, and you said, Sheldon, it’s two a.m., get out of my bedroom?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Like it was ten hours ago. What about it?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. Bazinga. Leonard?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you. Why is a world-renowned scientist staying in our apartment instead of a hotel?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I would imagine it is. This is my friend and roommate, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hi-lo. Oops. I started to say hi, and then I switched to hello in the middle. It came out hi-lo. Duh. Uh, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve read both your books and most of your papers. I’m Leonard, I live" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s preposterous. Tell her, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on. It wasn’t my fault." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wrong. Leonard?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Horse, but mostly just for the height. A little bit for the genital girth." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, dear lord, Leonard, look. He’s still available for parties and events. We should hire him." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hire him to do what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, whatever we want. Hang out, do experiments, make him take 12 pictures with us so we can make a calendar." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It would be pretty awesome to hang out with him. I just used awesome wrong, didn’t I?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m e-mailing him right now." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you remember his old theme song?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s happening. Leonard, it’s happening. Professor Proton is coming to our house." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re kidding." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not answering the phone, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Answer the phone, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No! There, it went to voice mail." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Aren’t you going to check your messages?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You have to check your messages, the leaving of a message is one half of a social contract which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It must be hell inside your head." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re not going to answer it?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "He wants to talk about Penny. I don’t want to talk about Penny." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re making an assumption. Perhaps the comic book store is on fire, and he needs your assistance." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why would he call me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "We don’t know. And if you don’t answer the phone, we can’t know." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not answering the phone, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Answer the phone, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No! There, it went to voice mail." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Aren’t you going to check your messages?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why does Leonard get to go?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "‘Cause he’s upset over his situation with Penny and if I have to hear about it again, I’m going to kick him in his ovaries." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thanks for understanding, Howard." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He drank from Leonard’s glass. Words they’ll be carving into my tombstone." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s actually my napkin." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, Leonard. What is that? What is that?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Relax, it’s just a dirty sock." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How on earth can you say dirty sock and relax in the same sentence?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, the world is filled with dirty discarded socks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not my world." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, you know who’d really dig seeing this experiment? Penny." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, yeah, we’ll be right there. Leonard?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not sure how I feel about Howard being dungeon master instead of you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, that’s nice. But relax, sometimes change is good. Uh, you were worried about Zachary Quinto being the new Spock, but you wound up liking him." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, you have milk in the taters, milk in the gravy, parmesan crust. Your lactose-intolerant boyfriend will turn into a gas-filled Macy’s Day balloon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not quite accurate. The Macy’s balloons are filled with helium, whereas Leonard produces copious amounts of methane." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So, no, on the Shepherd’s Pie. Can we move on?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Bernadette, before you change the subject, does anyone have any final comments on Leonard’s faulty digestive system?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So, what’s your news, Bernadette?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, come home with us and tomorrow I’ll, I’ll take you to Legoland." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Legoland is not the solution to everything. And it’s too much of a scene since that movie came out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Then what can I do?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I am overwhelmed. Everything is changing and it’s simply too much. I need to get away and think." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, come on, you know you’re overreacting." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, where did you envision marrying Penny?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Will you shut up?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Um, can I have your attention, everyone? (Clinks glass) That’s, uh, B-flat, for those who don’t have perfect pitch. I would like to propose a toast to my best friend, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. He has been presented with a wonderful opportunity, and I couldn’t be happier for him." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you, Sheldon. That must’ve been very hard for you to say." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hold that thought, Leonard, a moment." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Let me guess, you have a problem with this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Where do I begin?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s up to you, crazy person’s choice." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well first, we don’t have house guests, frankly if I could afford the rent I’d ask you to leave." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Your friendship means a lot to me as well, what else?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, our earthquake supplies, we have a two day, two man kit." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Interesting, her jaws are clenched, no tongue access, clearly a bad sign amongst mating humans." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s not a bad sign." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Priya has moved back to India to pursue her law career. Instead of desperately trying to keep this intercontinental relationship alive, you could use that time to take up a hobby." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "A hobby?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. I read recently about a fellow in Kansas with an enormous ball of twine. I bet you could give him a run for his money." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know, some people might say that it’s great that we’re trying to make things work long distance. They’d say things like, love is stronger than the miles between you." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know, some people might say that it’s great that we’re trying to make things work long distance. They’d say things like, love is stronger than the miles between you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When I rise to power, those people will be sterilized." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You video-chat with Amy all the time. How is this different?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t you like Amy?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Of course I like Amy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, there’s the difference. (Skype tone rings)" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Excuse me, that’s Priya." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Of course not." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Me neither. But I just had a tickle in my throat, not profound marital problems." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What are we gonna do?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Please, tell me how I can fix it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Glad you asked. As I see it, there’s a simple solution. Your lips had a dalliance with the lips of another woman. It seems only logical that to restore balance to the relationship, you should find another man and dally with him. And by dally, I mean some hardcore mouth-on-mouth action." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m sorry, Sheldon. I should’ve told you I was back. I just wanted to have a couple days alone with Penny." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, no, I should apologize. Uh, I never realized to what extent our friendship was a burden to you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That is not fair. I complain about what a burden it is at least once a month." } ]