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| humor
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Why couldn't the radish finish the race? he was just a little beet. | true |
Did you see that crazy news story on the internet? of course. you reddit | true |
What's worse than a dead lawyer? a living one. | true |
I only speak spanish when bill collectors call | true |
I can't believe i used to talk to people. | true |
Trevor noah: '2016 started with zika and then went bad' | false |
So i tried coprophilia for the first time today. it's fucking shit. | true |
How can a room full of couples be empty? there wasn't a single person in there. | true |
Wristlets won't make you sweat: 9 of summer's lightest bags for under $100 (photos) | false |
Understanding women is like... smelling the color 3. | true |
What does the highest paid wnba player make? sandwiches. | true |
Iris schieferstein's hoof shoes bring fashion taxidermy to life (photos, poll) | false |
I was sitting there... a lady walked into the bar i asked her did it hurt? | true |
What's the difference between michael phelps and hitler? michael phelps could finish a race | true |
No time to clear out your home? try this! | false |
Twitter erupts at rick santorum for telling dreamer to leave the u.s. | false |
For sale: one parachute used once, never opened. | true |
‘snl’ version of angela merkel is not happy donald trump is time’s ‘person of the year’ | false |
Wheelchair wisdom: you open the door through gratitude | false |
Poor nutrition kills more kids than aids, malaria and tb combined: un | false |
I got arrested for plugging my phone into my portable power pack i'm being charged with battery | true |
If israel gets wiped off the map... then we'll have to start calling it wasrael | true |
It's going to be a busy couple of months for caitlyn jenner mothers' day and then fathers' day | true |
You are 15 years old you should feel butterflies in your stomach not a baby kicking | true |
Lurch, mr. belvedere, rosario and more tv housekeepers that ran the show (gifs) | false |
Someone just suggested that i use mapquest. i suggested that he use a rotary phone. | true |
My welcome mat says, oh shit! not you again! | true |
I heard the best joke the other day! it was about anti-climaxes. | true |
Doctor i get heartburn every time i eat birthday cake. next time take off the candles. | true |
Mtv banning a video is kind of like a record store banning a book. | true |
Met gala dresses: the best & the worst in history! (photos) | false |
I've been working on my best ice cream creation ever but it got infected. it's my magnum o'pus. | true |
Where's the fire ma'am? *grips lighter* i'm not sure yet | true |
Mike pence, tim kaine attempt to prove they exist | false |
Jennifer lopez movie: singer/actress dishes on role in 'parker, talks split | false |
Man's appearance is not the most important thing. there are worse flows. | true |
Single parents share the best things about parenting solo | false |
What's the difference between dog food and a hot dog? i have no idea... | true |
Tca awards honors 'true detective' says a final goodbye to 'breaking bad' | false |
Jackie robinson day is april 15 -- here's a story about robinson you may not know | false |
What's the best part about having sex with 25 yr olds? there's 20 of them! | true |
Iran tests first missile capable of hitting israel, defense minister says | false |
We found love in a swollen face chris brown ft. rihanna | true |
Keen to project a progressive image, the uae picks its battles | false |
If you hold the ocean up to your ear, it sounds just like a sea shell. | true |
Just dropped my iphone in the bath tub. i think it's syncing. | true |
Cashier: did you find everything you were looking for? me: oh, yes... | true |
Ireland's olympic rowers return with another hilarious tv interview | false |
Hillary clinton accuses jerry falwell jr. of aiding isis | false |
How much did the pirate charge for corn? he sold them for a buccaneer. | true |
Whoa! the guy from 'ballers' is denzel washington's son! | false |
Why did the marine biologist jump off a bridge? he lost his porpoise in life. | true |
Until my sneezes have time to figure out their beliefs, please stop blessing them. | true |
Democrat says claim that toddlers can learn immigration law is 'stupid' | false |
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day. it was a shock to the cistern. | true |
Wow, where did you learn to be so good at sex?! i was home schooled | true |
I received a document about the rom in my computer science class it was read only. | true |
Family drives us all crazy during the holidays, but here's why i never let my daughter know it | false |
Few americans regret their vote -- or their decision to stay home on election day | false |
'black-ish' actress marsai martin to star in new civil rights film | false |
Grammy nominees list 2014: jay z, kendrick lamar, justin timberlake among honored artists | false |
Left with no choice: egypt allows fans to attend international soccer matches | false |
I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am... i'm not really a mourning person. | true |
'happy endings' cast and showrunners would consider a new beginning | false |
If i was a klingon the first thing i would do is grow out my bangs | true |
Who is really at risk for insomnia? (infographic) | false |
What kind of sex does a priest have? nun. | true |
How many romans does it take to screw in a light bulb? v. | true |
Officer comforts 93-year-old theft victim in heartwarming, musical way | false |
If you never say fuck it before posting a tweet then you definitely couldn't have tweeted this... | true |
Did you hear about russia's preservation new project? the crimea river | true |
My letter to santa: are we breaking up or making up? | false |
Teaching character versus life skills in schools: what's the best approach? | false |
Did you know that all of the trigonometric functions are female? yup, they all have periods! | true |
East aleppo residents are days away from starvation, white helmets say | false |
What happens when hillary throws relevant questions? donald ducks i'll show myself out | true |
I once met a girl with twelve boobs. sounds fake, dozen tit? | true |
Jonathan allen talks lgbt issues and life after america's got talent (audio) | false |
What has two legs and bleeds profusely? half a cat. | true |
Celine dion returns to the vegas stage after husband's death | false |
Kaiser permanente is retaliating against mental health whistleblowers | false |
How do you recycle a condom turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it. | true |
I'm here for whatever you need me to do from the couch. | true |
Why do sorority girls travel in odd number packs? because they can't even | true |
Justin bieber is not retiring, just trying to shift the media's focus | false |
Why wouldn't peace advocates compete in republican congressional primaries? | false |
If there's a zombie apocalypse and you see one zombie taking a nap, that will be me | true |
'anne of green gables' star jonathan crombie dead at 48 | false |
What do you call the removal of a fence? defence | true |
Why don't cows hang out with camels? they're all a bunch of drama-dairies. | true |
What kind of wig can hear ? an earwig ! | true |
Robyn & snoop dogg's 'u should know better' video: young doppelgangers horse around in new clip | false |
In the philosophers prison... i shank, therefore you are not | true |
How many jews could get in to the cab? it depends on ashtrays capacity. //badenglishsorry | true |
The new tattoo parlor across the street is free if you show boobs... ...tit for tat. | true |
Why did the elf have to play with mega bloks? because he was legoless | true |
Friday nights are for catching up on sleep, survey shows | false |
Butterfinger peanut butter cup to debut in 2014 | false |
I like to combine danger with awkwardness by falling up stairs. | true |
Honey, i slept with a stranger tonight. april fools'. it was your sister. | true |
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