text
stringlengths
31
99
humor
bool
2 classes
*interrupts your baby's first words* if a panda wears a handkerchief it's called a pandana.
true
An incomplete list of all the ways denzel kills people in 'the equalizer'
false
Have any brief jokes i can snapchat a girl that i like?
true
How much does a slave cost? i have no idea, i just know they aren't free
true
What do you call someone who is obsessed with a constant breeze? a 'fan'atic.
true
What are three signs old age? 1. becoming forgetful
true
Tall people don't need to be inspirational everyone already looks up to them.
true
The wife asked her husband to get rid of his boner he tried, but it was too difficult.
true
Etsy shop tour: inside accessory designer yokoo gibraan's studio
false
Hangout, day 1: kings of leon, jim james, ryan bingham kick off one of the best fests (slideshow)
false
I wonder if a ghost has ever watched me masturbate.
true
A woman's tongue & man's eye, will rest' only when they die.
true
Eric holder: to begin healing, we must see an end to 'acts of violence' in ferguson
false
When i lived on a houseboat i was seeing the girl next door, but eventually we drifted apart.
true
Is it a good idea to have multiple phds? to a certain degree.
true
Those republican smears of the fbi? don’t make me laugh.
false
I think ive gone insane. i cut off my nose. nothing makes scents anymore.
true
Why ferguson has everything to do with black breastfeeding week
false
In your face: the hidden history of plastic surgery and why looks matter
false
David cross will mail his beard to a fan before 'mr. show' reunion
false
Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible.
true
Dan harmon talks harmontown and dungeons & dragons at sxsw
false
How do you circumcise a priest? kick a little boy in the jaw.
true
What do you call shit that comes out with a fart? an unexpecturd.
true
Steps you can take to reduce your ovarian cancer risk
false
The 23 funniest tumblr blogs that will make you lol
false
When you f**k up a coded message and have to send it again re morse
true
This t-shirt perfectly captures all the same-sex marriage feels
false
Obama mourns dead in hiroshima, calls for world without nuclear arms
false
How projecting your own experiences could stifle your child's ability to learn
false
My local psychic closed down... ..due to unforeseen circumstances
true
What do you call a midget fortune teller running from the police? a small medium at large.
true
Hugs not drugs. except, yes drugs and why are you touching me?
true
And on the seventh day god rested... because even omnipotent beings need rest too, ya know.
true
Cocaine i tried and failed to use cocaine. it kept falling off the mirror in the bathroom.
true
Yale concludes sae fraternity didn't have a racist halloween party
false
A minor diversion: traveling in greece during the crisis
false
Whenever you feel depressed, imagine someone tickling kristen stewart.
true
Terrorists are starting to get worried coz americans have now started to steal their jobs
true
Kaley cuoco's bdsm 'big bang' photo might actually make us watch this season
false
Did you hear about the movie with the red tractor? the trailer was better
true
There is no good way to explain donald trump's climate change tweet
false
The best friend you will ever have: meditation
false
What do you tell a woman with a black eye? nothing, she's already been told twice.
true
Goose bumps are god's way of letting you know a devil ginger baby was just born.
true
What has 1 hand, 3 legs, 6 feet, and 2 heads? the finish line at the boston marathon.
true
Diy idea: turn an old cupboard door into an art desk for kids (photo)
false
Family reunions must be really awkward in the south... especially when you see your exes there
true
Democrats aren't sure whether to make jeff sessions' pot crackdown an election issue
false
With great power comes a great electric bill.
true
Women in business: arlinda lee, phd, senior healthcare analyst, mlv & co
false
Why don't girls count to two? because they can't even.
true
4 benefits i received when i said goodbye to video games
false
Should you always say 'i'm sorry' when someone says they're divorcing?
false
Thin may be in -- but not in the hair world!
false
What do a pedophile and a pokemon master have in common? they both have a collection of cp
true
The balkanization of consumers in american health care
false
'hamilton' creator lin-manuel miranda joins john oliver to request help for puerto rico
false
To heal or not to heal: shamans in the new era
false
Why did the fetus kill his twin? there wasn't enough womb for the two of them!
true
Donald trump meets joni ernst amid vice president speculation
false
Mayweather decides to teach his son how to hit on girls. with fists
true
Having emotions is sometimes a sign of strength
false
Here’s what happened when we played pokémon go at moma
false
Alec baldwin jumps to kendall jenner's defense in pepsi ad fiasco
false
How did the nucleus escape from prison? through the cell wall.
true
What do you call figrin d'an's first born boy? son of a bith!
true
Trump's sotu gets positive reviews, doesn't convince anyone he's pivoting
false
Diary of a none too happy camper: camping down under on the looney front
false
Kupu hou organic farm in hawaii comes with a gorgeous home, yurt and plenty of... coffee? (photos)
false
'tower' relives a school shooting that wasn't an everyday phenomenon
false
Sitting all day? head-to-toe tips for a healthier workstation
false
The reality of abortion clinics without buffer zones
false
Obama reveals that he's a 'guac fanatic' ahead of super bowl
false
The man behind the mementos at the vietnam veterans memorial
false
Trump says he'd 'absolutely' consider a muslim cabinet member
false
Any crime sounds better if you add the word silly to it: silly murder, silly rape, etc.
true
Can we install an *eyeroll* button on twitter?
true
Horses are the most negative animals... ...they are such neigh-sayers
true
If you tell me to chillax, i will chillstab you and chillaugh while you bleed to chilldeath.
true
Help me practice my knife throwing skills. you catch.
true
Honica brittman kidney transplant chain: woman's altruism spurs 5 kidney swaps
false
Thief dresses like apple store employee, makes off with 19 iphones
false
Nothing says you don't trust your family like pre-payment of your funeral
true
7 easy things you can do for faster, better sleep
false
This is how you fold a fitted sheet... kind of
false
Oyster.com's picks for the best caribbean destination wedding hotels
false
My husbands signature move is running to town real quick and coming home 5 hours later.
true
It was such a hard core lesbian bar... even the pool table didn't have balls.
true
Getting to know your friends... one tomato at a time
false
If the conversation gets too serious take your pants off.
true
Everything my three year old says is like listening to a weird roommate describe their lsd dreams.
true
Nocturnal teeth grinding may suggest a sleep disorder
false
What do you call an amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? a mechanic
true
*a friend tells me their problems* me: mhm, ok, have you tried eating about it?
true
Saitama tried to change his facebook password to goku but facebook said it was too weak...
true
Where do you get sent if you have a brainfreeze? the iceeu
true
Russell simmons says his debit rushcards ‘working’ after lawsuit, federal investigation
false
If god had an iphone, like 8 of the 10 commandments would have typos in them.
true
Vintage girl names: 12 victorian nicknames that are making a comeback
false