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Fox news on the 'proper use' of scripture
false
Mother of jordan davis speaks out on guilty verdict for man who killed her son
false
I named my dog herpes... if she's good, she'll heel. (stolen from priscilla)
true
The real reason hillary clinton stumbled a tiny plane flew into her.
true
Trump health pick says it's 'imperative' people get to keep obamacare coverage
false
Teenage girl who survived plane crash walked for days before getting picked up by motorist
false
Whats the difference between me and a calendar? a calendar has dates.
true
10 food trucks you need to visit in austin, tx
false
Why didn't the melon get married? because it can't elope.
true
'immunize' yourself against bad moods? new research suggests it may be possible
false
Running club has helped bring 1,300 people out of homelessness
false
Happy birthday, bo obama! white house dog turns 4 (videos)
false
Why can't the t-rex do any push ups? small arms? no it's because dinosaurs are extinct you dumbass.
true
Fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, you have boobs. it's really that simple.
true
I'm like an onion when i cut myself i cry
true
What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for? best before...
true
Ex-u.s. ambassador to moscow says he is banned from entering russia
false
What's the difference between a tiny penis and a joke? my date didn't laugh at my jokes.
true
How was the irish jig invented? to much beer and not enough bathrooms
true
What did the snowman do when he saw a snow blower go by? pull down his pants.
true
Huffpost rise: all the news you need to know on november 24th
false
The best hot sauce on earth: a huffpost deathmatch
false
Why did the hipster drown in the lake? because he went ice skating before it was cool.
true
Dwayne johnson's new television show on the food network can you cook what the rock is smelling?
true
How to tell if you're dating a real man
false
Insulting bakers is good fun you can really get a rise out of them.
true
Paul ryan asked if he's 'living in a fantasy world' amid his defense of tax bill
false
Why are turds tapered? so your asshole doesn't slam shut.
true
Daisy lowe: 'being skinny just doesn't suit me'
false
Granny smith must have been a shitty person because her apples suck.
true
If you think politicians are childish, this is the gop debate for you
false
The impending 'peaceful war' between china and america over cyberspying
false
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? he had to work it out with a pencil.
true
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? i'm bigger than you!
true
No, karen .... gold, frankincense and myrrh is not a jewish law firm.
true
Rachel weisz style evolution: from uggs to the oscars (photos)
false
Pope condemns pedophilia following reports of child's death
false
Did you hear about the two monocles at the party? they made spectacles out of themselves.
true
Mitt romney fails to secure utah senate gop nomination, will face primary
false
Native american boy pulled from class over mohawk hairstyle
false
Devastating photos show how an oil spill consumed santa barbara's coastline
false
I lasted 1 hour and 30 seconds while having sex last night... thank you daylight savings!
true
No matter how many times i call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.
true
What do you call a black guy in a cockpit? a pilot, you racist bastard.
true
Couple adopts pet pig from animal shelter only to kill and eat her
false
Ten years of helping orphans and vulnerable children affected by aids -- a celebration of pepfar
false
Teacher: why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage? pupil: for a parrot to perch on miss.
true
Why did the bear eat his own arms? they were made of honey.
true
Linsanity returned for a night and i couldn't be happier
false
What do you call a square peg that wonders if it could plug a round hole? pi-curious.
true
Did you hear the one about the procrastinator?
true
5 wild fan pranks that prove the unc-duke rivalry is the absolute best
false
California considering unprecedented law restricting police firearm use
false
Jews knock knock who's there nazi nazi who? who killed the jews? natz me.
true
Federal drug prosecutions still at historic lows in first few months of trump administration
false
Why are assholes always more successful than you? because they make shit happen.
true
Republican explains how to fix congress with one weird trick
false
What's everyone's least favorite dish? cunt pao chicken!
true
Have you ever smelled mothballs? how'd you get their teeny legs apart?
true
What do you call 2 accountants having a threesome with a girl? double-entry
true
Donald trump is not actually a member of the republican party he's a *whig*
true
When is your door annoying? when it'sa jar-jar.
true
Guy eats 8 pounds of chicken and rice, then shows off tight abs
false
Officials raid home of activist behind planned parenthood 'sting' videos
false
Why did the nazi cross the road? to get to the geno-side.
true
What do you call a high person with downs syndrome? a baked potato.
true
How do you get dick from richard? i don't know, ask his wife.
true
Why didn't hitler cross the road? because he could nazi anything
true
Gop tax bill ‘designed’ to kneecap renewable energy in favor of fossil fuels, democrats say
false
Gutsy sideshow artists spins balanced on single spear point
false
What's to be afraid of? congress talks gmos with biotechnology proponents
false
Q: what do blondes eat to increase their breast size? a: silicone chips.
true
Tom wolfe: still bringing us the real marshall mcluhan
false
Hillary clinton won't say whether she backs death penalty for dylann roof
false
Mom, have you seen my turtle? your friends took it outside to play. they're cracking walnuts.
true
An electric school bus could be coming to a school near you
false
Why there is no windows 9 because 7 8 9 heehaww
true
Notorious b.i.g.'s mom is making a documentary about him
false
Why are sergeants so successful in physical contests? three stripes, you rout.
true
What did the earthquake say to all of its victims? oh, sorry...my fault.
true
Bbc's formal response to those sexist 'doctor who' complaints is very satisfying
false
Pope says murdered french priest is a 'martyr' on the road to sainthood
false
I had to fire my carpenter turns out he was a mahoganist.
true
What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces? natural logs.
true
What's the best part of having alzheimer's? you get to meet new people everyday!
true
Shanghai poultry markets are one likely source of bird flu virus, study finds
false
Garance doré loves charlotte olympia shoes, corinne bailey rae's hair (video)
false
Allegations against al franken could cost democrats a progressive fighter in the senate
false
Usain bolt is bowing out as the greatest sprinter and the ultimate showman
false
Name the only animal that has an asshole in the middle of it's back. a police horse.
true
18 #menforchoice on why they're standing up for a woman's right to choose
false
The latest school shooting hasn't really stirred the gun debate
false
Former nfl running back not okay with michael sam's display of affection
false
What's at stake: the current landscape on lgbtq nondiscrimination protections
false
Rick perry's indictment could make him tea party poster child
false
How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg? he has to breddit
true
Twitter has no time for the gop's weird gif response to comey statement
false
Julie schumacher becomes first woman to win thurber prize for american humor
false
A postcard home: the weather is here. wish you were beautiful.
true
Understanding the relationship between teen sleep and mood
false