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6,600 | 6,601 | Yeah, hi, I'd like 500 pizzas over the course of the next 10 years delivered to wherever I am in the world, thanks. | [-1.16231874e-01 2.03243680e-02 4.25336696e-02 1.05249304e-02
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6,601 | 6,602 | My thoughts are as pure as snow... after the trucks have driven hard and plowed through it. | [-4.80491742e-02 -3.25448923e-02 1.10338897e-01 5.15422747e-02
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6,602 | 6,603 | I wonder if Satan ever gets tired of getting Xmas letters from dyslexic kids. | [-1.37296151e-02 -3.29354033e-02 4.01870832e-02 -5.49332518e-03
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6,604 | 6,605 | I auditioned for a role in Star Wars: The Force Awakens Unfortunately, I was a white male. | [ 1.69316828e-02 -3.17502604e-03 1.27299028e-02 2.46496573e-02
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6,605 | 6,606 | Mom, am I ugly? "Of course not, honey. You have everything a man wants, a deep voice, broad shoulders, facial hair..." | [ 3.86412232e-03 3.82229164e-02 5.34453169e-02 1.25663534e-01
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6,606 | 6,607 | What was Sisyphus's favourite type of music? Rock 'n' Roll | [-2.08055209e-02 -2.08304916e-02 -5.26672341e-02 -4.14872058e-02
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6,607 | 6,608 | Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quinn walk into the UN.. Then proceed to lecture them on bullying. | [-2.89186109e-02 1.93481240e-02 -4.05764058e-02 3.09806839e-02
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6,608 | 6,609 | How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you next Friday. | [-1.43518187e-02 4.55588400e-02 -1.67648569e-02 -5.03457114e-02
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6,609 | 6,610 | Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken. >:| | [-2.58541945e-02 -3.30532417e-02 -2.01829914e-02 7.69012496e-02
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6,610 | 6,611 | [at a spelling bee] Judge: Your word is SPELL. Witch: *mumbles something under her breath* Judge: Ribbit | [ 7.49706179e-02 4.13886756e-02 -3.36261839e-02 -2.96055824e-02
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6,611 | 6,612 | My dentist told me I grind at night I was unaware he even saw me at the club | [-4.00937125e-02 -1.04474481e-02 1.26664992e-03 8.72893631e-02
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6,612 | 6,613 | Jokes about abusive parents... ...just hit too close to home. | [ 3.43212038e-02 -3.77781801e-02 4.00626324e-02 8.61941203e-02
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6,613 | 6,614 | Can't be an atheist after getting in a subway car with no a/c because u now know hell is real | [ 2.68295151e-03 -2.48248372e-02 -5.53592294e-02 6.34231642e-02
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6,614 | 6,615 | A wife gets naked... ...and asks her husband, 'What turns you on more! my pretty face or my sexy body?' Husband looks her up and down for a moment and replies, 'Your sense of humor.' | [-5.23747317e-02 -1.48446700e-02 1.65088493e-02 8.76093656e-02
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6,615 | 6,616 | Why did the chicken of the sea cross the road? Because a tuna can! | [-4.67870608e-02 2.77846288e-02 -2.13837530e-03 1.45209879e-02
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6,616 | 6,617 | You should never bully fat people.... They have enough on their plates | [-3.14536951e-02 8.15801919e-02 -4.43486050e-02 -2.09384393e-02
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6,617 | 6,618 | Q: Why are all blacks fast? A: The slow ones are in jail. | [ 1.28054284e-02 7.89876804e-02 -2.22934969e-02 9.37465131e-02
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6,618 | 6,619 | Every religion has violent people... ... The Christians have The Westboro Baptist Church, the Muslims have the jihadists, and the Jews have the IRS | [ 1.23031490e-01 -2.91952230e-02 1.27403056e-02 6.91447705e-02
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6,619 | 6,620 | POLLY GETS A CRACKER WHEN HE STOPS REFERRING TO HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON, and not a moment before. Stupid bird. | [-7.88760260e-02 -3.30777206e-02 2.01362241e-02 -5.79481125e-02
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6,620 | 6,621 | I fired a man named Diarrhea today... His shit wasn't together | [ 5.97382104e-03 1.17472913e-02 2.18441281e-02 -2.51930226e-02
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6,621 | 6,622 | What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-oh acid | [-2.18096338e-02 -3.41839790e-02 -7.80132115e-02 2.70908661e-02
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6,622 | 6,623 | Knock Knock Who's there ! Courtney Pine ! Courtney Pine who ? Courtney Pine tables I need a new one ! | [-1.87507865e-03 -1.00919120e-01 7.15434626e-02 -2.74467953e-02
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6,623 | 6,624 | Opinions are like assholes... Everyone has one, but they all stink. | [ 4.56152949e-03 -3.21229622e-02 -7.44095910e-03 -1.52214374e-02
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6,624 | 6,625 | The jokes on you Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine." | [-6.66001812e-03 -1.01088546e-02 2.62026992e-02 4.20573726e-02
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6,625 | 6,626 | Whosoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble... You have my Word. | [-9.85630229e-02 6.82097301e-02 9.00336131e-02 -3.77165303e-02
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6,626 | 6,627 | My dad keeps throwing erasers at me... My dad keeps throwing erasers at me and I finally snapped, "Why dad!" he replied "the first rubber I used didn't get rid of my mistake, maybe this one will" | [-3.88884395e-02 2.79843472e-02 8.70297551e-02 3.85302608e-03
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6,627 | 6,628 | I was going to have an edging tournament with some friends... ...but nobody came. | [ 3.06907631e-02 2.26333346e-02 4.82167974e-02 3.94867957e-02
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6,628 | 6,629 | What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and.... ....I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore. | [ 3.98274511e-02 -3.92092727e-02 -2.45907065e-02 3.41920815e-02
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6,629 | 6,630 | GOD: Go forth, my tiny friends! ANTS: Hooray! ANGEL: Ok next creation ... The anteater. ANTS: The what now? | [ 2.91023757e-02 7.42252767e-02 2.36337017e-02 1.43473707e-02
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6,630 | 6,631 | I'm not positive, but I think when you say you're "over" something, YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. | [ 4.61662142e-03 -9.69482809e-02 4.24596258e-02 -2.97235921e-02
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6,631 | 6,632 | How do you stop rape? **NSFW** Consent. | [ 5.60610741e-02 6.58604726e-02 -3.38106081e-02 6.57178881e-03
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6,632 | 6,633 | What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather? A faint Bernard! | [ 4.44937162e-02 -4.09062840e-02 5.60847223e-02 1.27128869e-01
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6,633 | 6,634 | Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing. | [-1.98036097e-02 1.86055936e-02 7.62998313e-02 1.06826819e-01
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6,634 | 6,635 | What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat. | [-4.03137878e-02 -1.31876254e-02 -2.23202594e-02 -6.01219647e-02
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6,635 | 6,636 | *muttered from inside a bear* "Go hiking," they said. | [ 1.05193928e-02 8.29692632e-02 6.77885413e-02 1.04346044e-01
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6,636 | 6,637 | That's pretty cool that Mary Shelley wrote Heidi Montag's biography before she was even born. #Frankenstien | [-6.61940575e-02 -3.87318023e-02 2.17456464e-02 8.68744403e-02
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6,637 | 6,638 | Love is blind, only marriage opens your eyes. | [-3.58477794e-02 -3.40786241e-02 5.26369922e-02 4.62144315e-02
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6,638 | 6,639 | What exactly is the difference between a New York City Park bathroom and a Law & Order crime scene? | [ 5.29544763e-02 -2.34962627e-02 3.25594060e-02 -5.80887683e-02
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6,639 | 6,640 | My wife gave me the silent treatment for a week... It ended when I told her "We've been getting along really well lately". | [-4.91698235e-02 1.20089939e-02 1.01915933e-01 7.69353285e-02
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6,640 | 6,641 | I keep forgetting my passwords so I changed them all to one that's super easy for me to remember: InsufficientFundsContactYourBank00.00 | [ 1.30356625e-02 -6.01593331e-02 -6.50178939e-02 1.18141519e-02
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6,641 | 6,642 | AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A WINDOWS 7 PARTY 'CAUSE A WINDOWS 7 PARTY DON'T STFILE \$win_nt$.~bt\NTKRNLMP.EXE cannot be open error 7 | [-3.11343335e-02 -1.74432760e-03 -6.00492172e-02 -3.16544175e-02
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6,642 | 6,643 | What do you call a blind german guy? A not see. | [-2.20356416e-02 3.55889741e-03 -4.81286123e-02 5.85381910e-02
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6,643 | 6,644 | How did Jesus get so ripped? 39 lashes. | [-3.45691033e-02 9.72558632e-02 1.45603418e-02 6.30771741e-02
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6,644 | 6,645 | An Asian girl walks up to me in a bar. She says ***"Sex sex sex, free sex tonight!"*** Apparently she was giving me her number. | [-9.30274054e-02 7.87872523e-02 9.03598126e-03 4.02698740e-02
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6,645 | 6,646 | What was Bob Marley's favourite font? Sans Sheriff! | [-9.71946120e-03 2.82673687e-02 -8.42771754e-02 -2.94738412e-02
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6,647 | 6,648 | What does a man say after sex? Nothing, he's happy and content with life. | [-6.70943176e-03 3.07633728e-02 -4.51650918e-02 5.29052466e-02
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6,648 | 6,649 | Are you from Mississippi? Cause you're the only miss I ssippi. (I have no clue) | [-2.06441642e-03 -3.04575097e-02 5.36937639e-02 5.93091175e-02
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6,649 | 6,650 | A redhead tells her blonde stepsister... ..."I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?" | [-1.94915310e-02 -4.76780571e-02 6.68089604e-03 7.00673908e-02
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6,650 | 6,651 | What do you call a fat female assassin? A killer whale. | [-7.50570558e-03 3.11731435e-02 -2.96901651e-02 9.23892185e-02
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6,651 | 6,652 | Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything. | [ 7.26130675e-04 -1.36238560e-01 7.45957643e-02 6.26354143e-02
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6,652 | 6,653 | I have a weird quirk when watching Star Wars I wait for when someone is going to yell, "R2!" and yell out "Am not!" | [ 2.26802025e-02 -8.93375203e-02 1.78342760e-02 -6.74139112e-02
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6,653 | 6,654 | What's a redneck's favorite type of bread? Inbred | [-2.50775069e-02 -1.37935486e-02 -5.58395013e-02 7.71893114e-02
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6,654 | 6,655 | Our 2-year-old is entertaining everyone at the restaurant by screeching like a seagull every fifteen seconds. | [ 9.68255699e-02 -5.10359481e-02 6.79081604e-02 -7.13518588e-03
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6,655 | 6,656 | Stevie Wonder got a cheesegrater for Christmas. He said it was the most violent book he's ever read. | [ 5.35402671e-02 -1.69703215e-02 -2.57783346e-02 8.10445845e-03
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6,656 | 6,657 | Paddy wanted to buy a Labrador.. Mick said "Fuck that, have you seen how many of their owners go blind!" | [ 1.89429875e-02 1.91882513e-02 4.51021530e-02 3.41870748e-02
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6,657 | 6,658 | My girlfriend told me that she had slept with 144 people before me. Now that's just gross. | [ 6.57304823e-02 4.29962911e-02 8.58921837e-03 4.82429303e-02
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6,658 | 6,659 | Jesus said that he'd get rid of evil people, whereas Norse gods said they'd get rid of frost giants. nnI don't see many frost giants around. | [-4.13439684e-02 1.39204994e-01 6.79655299e-02 5.05977534e-02
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6,659 | 6,660 | If Natalie Portman dated Jacques Cousteau they would win celebrity couple nicknaming forever with "Portmanteau." | [ 9.27510206e-03 1.07773674e-04 -2.43717171e-02 -6.38887882e-02
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6,660 | 6,661 | When the doctor prescribed the millennium a medical dog he was surprised the patient asked "how do i smoke it" | [ 2.37428639e-02 8.35854039e-02 6.75977841e-02 1.27616711e-02
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6,661 | 6,662 | Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... And orders a drink or two. Or three. Or four. And then gets into a barfight. | [-6.85725510e-02 1.42431082e-02 -1.61708724e-02 1.58582591e-02
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6,662 | 6,663 | I know it's not safe but our taxi driver keeps falling asleep at every light and it's getting hilarious | [ 4.46659066e-02 3.05965915e-03 1.18755670e-02 6.16897047e-02
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6,663 | 6,664 | What did the physicists say when he accidentally broke his resistor? my ghosh | [-8.54832008e-02 6.88250065e-02 5.82520962e-02 4.84837033e-02
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6,664 | 6,665 | Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's. | [ 5.56670781e-03 2.48151384e-02 9.41683426e-02 -3.51442061e-02
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6,665 | 6,666 | How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it's already screwed in! heh. *chirp* *chirp* | [ 6.59372136e-02 -4.26591672e-02 -6.52935822e-03 2.69696955e-02
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6,666 | 6,667 | Where do guys who buy hookers, mountain lions, and cantelopes go for the summer? John Cougar Meloncamp An old joke I haven't heard in ages. | [-3.59455543e-03 3.07482984e-02 -2.21464131e-02 8.01833719e-02
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6,667 | 6,668 | The fun thing about wigs is when someone complements you on your hair, you can rip it off and say, "Here. Take it. No, I insist." | [-6.32958263e-02 5.86227551e-02 8.68625492e-02 -2.91439872e-02
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6,668 | 6,669 | how to get a fat chick in bed... It's a piece of cake! | [ 1.62426066e-02 -3.99280759e-03 -2.72565684e-03 1.97573733e-02
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6,669 | 6,670 | I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born. | [ 2.08066404e-02 3.82143189e-03 -6.43384680e-02 6.72288537e-02
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6,670 | 6,671 | How do we create jobs? I thought he was already dead | [-5.56640141e-02 -5.79036884e-02 -6.80119991e-02 -2.03031097e-02
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6,671 | 6,672 | Relationship are like algebra... Do you ever look at your X and wonder Y? | [-1.58040952e-02 1.16615165e-02 -2.16014031e-02 -5.91345504e-03
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6,672 | 6,673 | What happens when you get more than you payed for with a Mexican Gigolo? The second coming of Jesus. | [-8.90026242e-03 7.99524784e-02 -2.76800785e-02 2.39131041e-02
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6,673 | 6,674 | What did the bra say to the toupee? You go on ahead, I'll hold these two up. | [-9.26905721e-02 6.05764091e-02 -4.39996459e-02 2.65354309e-02
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6,674 | 6,675 | Fun way to prank Jesus is to invite him snorkeling haha he'd be stuck on top walking on the water while ur underneath having all the fun | [-3.05194687e-02 6.11971952e-02 5.05166464e-02 -3.77649330e-02
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6,675 | 6,676 | What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer? an heir conditioner. | [-1.09213488e-02 5.93348891e-02 -2.40933727e-02 4.67608012e-02
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6,677 | 6,678 | My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas. | [ 1.89936999e-02 2.31994968e-02 8.53705928e-02 4.73314486e-02
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6,678 | 6,679 | What's the difference between an elected official and a piece of garbage? Garbage gets thrown out. | [ 4.80902456e-02 5.62198311e-02 7.23765641e-02 -1.94638260e-02
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6,679 | 6,680 | Did you hear about the abstinent lenses? They never came in contact. | [-2.60313302e-02 -3.82532515e-02 -4.06336784e-02 2.40489114e-02
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6,680 | 6,681 | What's the difference between a boy scout and a jew? The boy scout comes home from camp. | [-1.90775841e-02 1.64415076e-01 -6.21958040e-02 -3.71821411e-03
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6,681 | 6,682 | The fact that we're not calling stepdads "faux pas," seems like a missed opportunity. | [ 8.26194324e-03 4.41340432e-02 -4.06668410e-02 -4.72992733e-02
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6,682 | 6,683 | Pick the odd one out... Pick the odd one out: eggs, meat, wife, blowjob. You can beat your eggs, you can beat your meat, you can beat your wife, but you can't beat a blow job | [-3.92680392e-02 6.63545262e-03 4.45266031e-02 5.54494634e-02
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6,683 | 6,684 | "You're what you eat" So when will your mum become me? | [-1.94754768e-02 -3.86205576e-02 1.48422355e-02 6.55628294e-02
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6,684 | 6,685 | Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7. | [-3.71102802e-03 -4.13993075e-02 1.06836095e-01 -3.53982858e-02
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6,685 | 6,686 | When I die I want my tombstone to read, "Did stuff". | [-2.06055697e-02 2.48973761e-02 -1.14009902e-02 -5.16228303e-02
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6,686 | 6,687 | Sorry we don't serve time travelers here Two time travelers walk into a bar | [ 4.17895131e-02 -5.32310270e-02 6.42776713e-02 -1.54738249e-02
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6,687 | 6,688 | Never trust an atom They make up everything | [-7.17486367e-02 -3.19915898e-02 -2.99796462e-03 5.68573549e-02
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6,688 | 6,689 | What did the woman do that found gold in her vagina? She mined her own business. | [-4.59910743e-02 3.72467041e-02 -1.13320211e-02 1.07276276e-01
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6,689 | 6,690 | Three men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Three ducks walk into a bar. The fourth one humans. | [ 8.71588439e-02 -3.62901986e-02 -4.63044196e-02 -3.43179069e-02
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6,690 | 6,691 | Just buckled a bottle of Tito's Vodka into the backseat of my car, so I obviously know what it's like to be a mom. | [-4.12766002e-02 1.03068007e-02 -6.86776340e-02 1.18015490e-01
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6,691 | 6,692 | What has four wheels and flies A Garbage truck | [ 5.33079132e-02 4.69269231e-02 -6.16623322e-03 1.82494018e-02
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6,692 | 6,693 | It's not that Jake couldn't juggle It's that he didn't have the balls to do it | [ 1.73371267e-02 4.75284457e-02 2.57487576e-02 -4.35950346e-02
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6,693 | 6,694 | Little Shop of Horrors should have taken place in Russia. Because in Soviet Russia plant eats you! | [ 3.73529792e-02 7.24152774e-02 -3.68327014e-02 4.92060855e-02
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6,694 | 6,695 | Like most movies. I show big things in my trailer. | [-1.40528698e-02 -2.46332604e-02 4.44265567e-02 -3.38160023e-02
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6,695 | 6,696 | A man walks into a library and says "I hope you don't have a book on reverse psychology." | [-6.12695031e-02 9.48113855e-03 -2.00543329e-02 6.02412038e-02
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6,697 | 6,698 | CNN admits to dating Fox News. | [-9.71822347e-03 -2.11852025e-02 6.47866577e-02 1.00045808e-01
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6,698 | 6,699 | Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies. | [-2.97257211e-02 1.01328045e-01 -3.78004909e-02 4.78633232e-02
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6,699 | 6,700 | What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line. | [ 3.00407652e-02 2.38763867e-03 2.19269414e-02 4.56826538e-02
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7.16891279e-03 1.52234919e-02 -9.99623258e-03 3.98839032e-03] |
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