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int64 0
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2,500 | 2,501 | I went on a boat trip around Paris, ...it was in-seine! | [ 8.14230442e-02 3.85643952e-02 2.59210579e-02 -2.16883421e-02
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2,501 | 2,502 | Cocaine is never a solution... Unless it's dissolved in water. | [-1.85397230e-02 -9.56518925e-04 4.23114337e-02 1.21154152e-02
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2,502 | 2,503 | Why did the ghost cross the road to get to the "Other Side". | [ 8.98271613e-03 6.46591783e-02 1.51599329e-02 5.67660108e-02
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2,503 | 2,504 | "well well well, if it isn't the person who didn't like my Instagram photo" is how i like to address pretty much everyone | [-4.46922071e-02 6.22039400e-02 1.14601143e-01 -8.73206835e-03
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2,504 | 2,505 | I just got an email offering "free bible verses". You know, because who can afford bible verses? | [-6.62387386e-02 2.58682538e-02 7.20442757e-02 1.14005664e-02
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2,505 | 2,506 | Never eat spoiled meat Or spoiled eggs | [-2.02971734e-02 5.66262417e-02 5.09703197e-02 3.82634401e-02
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2,506 | 2,507 | I like my coffee like I like my slaves... ...Free | [-8.18935856e-02 3.99759635e-02 2.55565122e-02 6.06957935e-02
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2,507 | 2,508 | I used to think that "Lacrosse"... Was what the French called that thing that Jesus carried on his back. | [-1.54734524e-02 3.57925035e-02 -3.68282422e-02 -5.82040250e-02
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2,508 | 2,509 | Where does Dracula live? Monte Cristo | [ 3.68423387e-02 2.76906807e-02 -1.44847650e-02 6.75135478e-02
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2,509 | 2,510 | The Camping Chemist Why do chemists never do well on camping trips? Because they pack titrations. | [ 5.33282198e-03 2.43190695e-02 -2.64611151e-02 8.64724442e-02
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2,510 | 2,511 | I'm gonna make like a standards censor and get the fuck outta here. | [-2.30782274e-02 9.13941185e-04 -3.86046581e-02 -4.91788499e-02
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2,511 | 2,512 | BREAKING NEWS: California's drought is over Water supply flourishing from the tears of the racist, homophobic, and conservative southerners. | [ 4.75723669e-02 1.95632521e-02 8.54953900e-02 9.07061920e-02
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2,512 | 2,513 | ISIS should hire me... I have a lot of experience when it comes to bombing, especially on final exams. | [ 7.71605223e-02 6.77940622e-02 2.74873525e-02 -1.23610273e-02
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2,513 | 2,514 | The secret to my success lies with you having a poor grasp on it's definition. | [ 1.24362120e-02 -1.21553773e-02 7.08814897e-03 -5.31397667e-03
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2,514 | 2,515 | One agent stops by another agent's table to tell him the big news: "Elvis just died!" The second agent says nothing then starts nodding. "Good career move." | [-5.79896569e-03 9.41818953e-03 -6.93099052e-02 -3.40331234e-02
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2,515 | 2,516 | What game do they play at Mexican carnivals? Guaca-mole! | [ 2.83338577e-02 3.59444581e-02 -3.97139154e-02 -3.15527059e-02
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2,516 | 2,517 | Sorry I got confused & grabbed your fist bump like a doorknob. | [ 3.21767516e-02 1.06224697e-02 -7.53878709e-03 2.82706674e-02
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2,517 | 2,518 | Apparently SeaWorld CEO has declared an end to kissing and dancing for its performing Orcas... Now those whales will know how I felt at my high school prom! | [ 1.64645445e-02 4.40829322e-02 1.30757824e-01 -3.54013266e-03
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2,520 | 2,521 | What does an Ent want? A bad birch. | [-4.28184047e-02 2.62633711e-02 3.66452709e-02 1.95359793e-02
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2,521 | 2,522 | I think back to all the times I've masturbated up until now... ...its just nice to know how far I've cum. | [ 4.52552661e-02 -1.08708382e-01 -3.72536277e-04 -1.68866273e-02
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2,522 | 2,523 | Life hack: McDonald's will deliver if you tell them that you are holding Ronald hostage for a ransom of [your desired food order] | [-8.09686854e-02 1.95722282e-02 4.69382294e-02 -4.19418477e-02
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2,523 | 2,524 | I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don't understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper. | [-2.26691514e-02 2.95379013e-03 6.61323294e-02 3.81544679e-02
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2,524 | 2,525 | For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss. | [-7.61858560e-03 5.66118471e-02 4.44314815e-02 1.34318154e-02
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2,525 | 2,526 | The Pink Panther's To Do list: - To do - To do - To do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo | [-8.77062678e-02 -5.54075018e-02 8.30502342e-03 1.42643955e-02
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2,526 | 2,527 | I Like My Coffee How I Like My Women Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the Andes by a donkey. | [-4.98062149e-02 -2.17891708e-02 3.64001319e-02 9.67690498e-02
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2,527 | 2,528 | I love posting spam. Although, I've been warned again by the Royal Mail not to mail bits of meat in the post. | [-6.14149682e-02 -1.73547994e-02 5.02798073e-02 7.41792545e-02
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2,528 | 2,529 | Q: What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? A: Iceberg. | [-3.56201679e-02 1.25138871e-02 4.46778461e-02 1.45166710e-01
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2,529 | 2,530 | It's been about 3 years since my last drink and I'm still hungover. | [-5.19020529e-03 -8.90075639e-02 2.75724772e-02 5.46580218e-02
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2,530 | 2,531 | look son, i kinda need you to go to hong kong & win a martial arts tournament to the death for me because i sorta told my neighbor you did | [ 6.85805380e-02 5.37951067e-02 8.62031803e-02 -3.89374420e-02
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2,531 | 2,532 | How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it. | [ 6.89180270e-02 -1.29876221e-02 -8.03372357e-04 2.55224742e-02
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9.25713032e-02 -3.81997079e-02 1.25550272e-04 3.95805500e-02] |
2,532 | 2,533 | TIL That I'm NEVER getting prostate cancer | [-1.52550323e-03 -3.11281364e-02 -2.26705745e-02 2.59108506e-02
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1.21644214e-01 -7.48710847e-03 5.72331883e-02 1.36451274e-02] |
2,533 | 2,534 | Whats that over there? I don't know but i think i just got a raging clue | [ 4.59642857e-02 -4.28830795e-02 8.13730620e-03 3.79127003e-02
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2,534 | 2,535 | I was told the Highlander was stopping by a Mexican nightclub When I showed up to the party, there was only Juan. | [ 2.69600339e-02 1.97315961e-02 -1.86741166e-02 7.10726678e-02
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2,535 | 2,536 | I just picked a Chapstick up from my bedside table, spent 30 seconds trying to get the lid off with my teeth, then realized it was a battery | [-5.40485792e-02 5.17922342e-02 5.17256744e-03 -2.62175291e-03
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2,536 | 2,537 | They should just rename double stuffed Oreos to regular Oreos. And rename regular Oreos to "Do it Yourself Double Oreo Kits". | [-3.25734727e-02 4.66571748e-02 8.40032846e-02 -9.41750873e-03
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2,537 | 2,538 | A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears! | [-3.78493145e-02 4.51461785e-02 2.42131837e-02 6.81995647e-03
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2,538 | 2,539 | When your girlfriend is PMS'ing, cheer her up by showing her that "totally weird" text you got from your ex last night. | [-4.06008475e-02 -1.07581485e-02 9.71537679e-02 -2.16047317e-02
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2,539 | 2,540 | i put tinder on my kindle it burst into flames | [-5.53330295e-02 2.82678939e-02 1.03521124e-01 -3.55868451e-02
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2,540 | 2,541 | What do you call... ...a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob | [-1.20110288e-02 6.61462918e-02 -3.24026458e-02 -1.52368164e-02
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2,541 | 2,542 | Whenever I show someone a picture on my phone, I assume ninja stance in case they start scrolling. | [-9.89644602e-02 2.53797546e-02 -4.32041474e-02 -2.19242573e-02
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2,542 | 2,543 | I have an internet porn addiction. i really should beat it... | [ 2.34054923e-02 -9.49473605e-02 5.47731370e-02 -4.75309491e-02
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2,543 | 2,544 | What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes? A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro | [-3.62930521e-02 -3.40802073e-02 4.99574700e-03 -4.62400950e-02
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2,544 | 2,545 | What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a prostitute with IBS? Well, one you have to shuck between fits... | [ 3.86625143e-05 -3.46291922e-02 2.67871353e-03 8.84944294e-03
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2,545 | 2,546 | Who won the Tour de France in 1940? the Sixth German Panzer Division | [-5.23235239e-02 4.73009795e-02 -8.41277465e-02 -4.04204503e-02
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2,546 | 2,547 | I wish my wife was better in bed. <sighs> <disables autocorrect> I wish my WiFi was better in bed. | [ 6.88995607e-03 4.83296514e-02 7.74912760e-02 -7.21969758e-04
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2,547 | 2,548 | Oscar Isaac wasn't nominated so far despite his performances in Inside Llewyn Davis and Ex Machina Talk about an Oscar being snubbed | [ 2.28626262e-02 -2.96868477e-02 -6.92628399e-02 -1.55318221e-02
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2,548 | 2,549 | Why are atoms so serious? Because they're no laughing matter. | [ 8.08043554e-02 -8.43288898e-02 -6.96979044e-03 1.07826754e-01
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2,549 | 2,550 | "But what about all the Positive Nancys?" ~ a Nancy, complaining like usual | [ 5.78846857e-02 7.27272630e-02 -1.92590673e-02 1.84907988e-02
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2,550 | 2,551 | A tragic haiku hipsters panicking need a new pretentious food quinoa's too mainstream | [ 3.26428339e-02 -4.94954176e-02 3.96629609e-02 -8.11884850e-02
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2,551 | 2,552 | A drummer trips and falls on a sheep, a candy brand, and then a running faucet *Baa Dum tss* | [-4.50039841e-02 -2.85040066e-02 7.50945881e-02 -1.90034900e-02
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2,552 | 2,553 | If it wasn't for the internet, I would think "12 Years A Slave" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage. | [-9.42446813e-02 2.09345054e-02 -3.26283835e-02 -1.42896296e-02
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2,553 | 2,554 | I don't live in my mother's basement... I live in your mother's basement. | [ 1.55574918e-01 -2.33283802e-03 1.77213456e-02 -2.84062903e-02
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2,554 | 2,555 | How do deaf mathematicians communicate? Through sine language. | [ 4.37904559e-02 -5.01290634e-02 -2.24059857e-02 -2.23796684e-02
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2,555 | 2,556 | Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears do you have an infection ? Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in! | [-3.43266428e-02 4.54669539e-03 4.28665876e-02 -2.55416762e-02
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2,556 | 2,557 | "You the bomb." "No, you the bomb." In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument. | [ 9.35985893e-03 8.41619596e-02 -1.12378867e-02 -4.24231123e-03
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2,557 | 2,558 | What does the license plate of the sheep farmer say? Ewe haul. | [-4.40617241e-02 1.40260875e-01 6.18270878e-03 5.33056632e-03
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2,558 | 2,559 | What do you call a Mexican baptism? A bean dip. | [ 9.98402014e-03 6.46684915e-02 -4.96736802e-02 3.86404693e-02
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2,559 | 2,560 | Have you heard about Samsung's new video game based on the Galaxy Note 7? They're calling it Mass Defect. | [-1.01243958e-01 -6.04526419e-03 1.02236867e-01 -8.16002581e-03
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2,562 | 2,563 | Just found out that umbrellas open up. I always wondered why my rain stick never kept me dry. We never stop learning do we. | [ 5.28626256e-02 -1.80324167e-02 9.04752240e-02 1.31547838e-01
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2,563 | 2,564 | How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb...? ...to get to the other side | [ 7.76385739e-02 4.87182941e-03 -2.39432082e-02 5.06991781e-02
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2,565 | 2,566 | Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. | [ 7.40248896e-03 2.60646306e-02 5.16557414e-03 3.79191190e-02
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2,566 | 2,567 | What's every movie critic's favorite cooking ingredient? Michael Bay Leaves. | [-4.77726683e-02 -1.27566783e-02 -3.76304239e-02 7.77896419e-02
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2,567 | 2,568 | Some joke my dad told me a long time ago What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to? Barbers. | [-8.93236417e-03 3.65415122e-03 -4.09492478e-02 9.57086682e-03
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2,568 | 2,569 | Lovey dovey couples look best when viewed through the scope of a high powered rifle. | [-1.77974142e-02 3.33302189e-03 1.98548492e-02 1.42851053e-02
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2,569 | 2,570 | Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup. | [-8.67560059e-02 5.15468009e-02 8.21434930e-02 3.68056744e-02
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2,570 | 2,571 | Green Lantern That name has a nice ring to it | [-3.64466682e-02 1.61154233e-02 -1.13003947e-01 -3.81643958e-02
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2,572 | 2,573 | Why is the upcoming Windows OS called Windows 10? Because 7 ate 9... | [-4.82063256e-02 1.84289757e-02 7.67226666e-02 -4.61307168e-03
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2,573 | 2,574 | A baby of few hours old is third in line for the highest title in the UK. | [-9.98601038e-03 -4.37637493e-02 -2.02424359e-02 -2.32313643e-03
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2,574 | 2,575 | Messi carrying Argentina. Neymar carrying Brazil. British Airways carrying England | [ 4.81126532e-02 2.60273404e-02 1.21888863e-02 -1.28531018e-02
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2,575 | 2,576 | My wife and I just made a porno. Too bad she's my late wife. | [-1.00490386e-02 -7.94237554e-02 4.14242893e-02 1.22949816e-02
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2,576 | 2,577 | Dance like no one is watching! Comment like you don't live in your mom's basement! | [ 7.78247714e-02 -7.23533705e-02 -1.11705530e-02 -4.84481417e-02
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2,577 | 2,578 | What do you call a rough Italian neighborhood? A Spaghetto | [ 2.51603443e-02 -1.93768311e-02 -2.14878917e-02 6.26915991e-02
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2,578 | 2,579 | What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday? AYE MATEY! | [-6.31301701e-02 1.62965417e-01 2.03278698e-02 -1.41060166e-02
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2,579 | 2,580 | Dear Americans: It's called snow. It's cold and wet, but can't hurt you from inside the house. It has no opposable thumbs. #AskCanada | [ 1.81956477e-02 -2.89527088e-04 6.03558682e-02 3.29841562e-02
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2,580 | 2,581 | What's the difference between a white story and a black story? A white story starts with "Once Apon a Time" and a black story starts with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this" | [-1.88553939e-03 1.59322075e-03 2.64793765e-02 9.25407782e-02
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2,581 | 2,582 | Why do I like sweet potatoes? Cuz they're yammy!!! | [ 1.37243355e-02 -1.29428938e-01 -3.14093344e-02 1.98887996e-02
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2,582 | 2,583 | What's the difference between MLK day and St Patrick's day? Nobody minds being Irish for one day!!!! | [ 3.66494879e-02 6.48719817e-02 1.16913747e-02 -5.33882109e-03
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2,583 | 2,584 | "I made $200.05 giving BJ's to people yesterday." "Who gave you a nickel?" "Everyone did." | [-8.77544731e-02 7.10813329e-02 2.02565510e-02 -4.74241376e-02
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2,584 | 2,585 | What do you call a hooker with no limits? Your mom. | [-1.94213316e-02 1.05747953e-03 -1.35318518e-01 -1.06103229e-03
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2,585 | 2,586 | Boy, your name must be Adobe cuz when you call me up for a date, I say "Ask me again later." | [-1.00905091e-01 -2.08037682e-02 -1.05197039e-02 5.08597456e-02
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2,586 | 2,587 | Imagine if last names were invented now, so instead of "Smith" and "Baker," we had "Frontenddeveloper" and "Socialmediaconsultant." | [-6.14288310e-03 -3.73084359e-02 -4.89198044e-02 -3.78807746e-02
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2,587 | 2,588 | Detective: how were u able to do it? Serial Killer: thanks to the flexibility of Uber. I was able to work my own hours and still murder | [ 1.33377155e-02 4.63802256e-02 -1.20600397e-02 -4.36287653e-03
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2,588 | 2,589 | What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris? Ape Suzettes! | [-3.16702425e-02 4.37934063e-02 6.76942244e-02 5.90197891e-02
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2,589 | 2,590 | Kids these days think Christmas is all about getting presents instead of celebrating the birth of Santa Claus. | [ 8.20958056e-03 1.14026122e-01 2.86349952e-02 2.07754374e-02
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2,590 | 2,591 | How to avoid clickbait? clearly, you wouldn't know... | [-2.34844889e-02 -5.50199747e-02 -6.96187548e-04 -2.36164704e-02
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2,591 | 2,592 | I saw my brother kiss my uncle today. I'm starting to think he's relatively gay. | [ 4.56867293e-02 -3.23666725e-03 -1.00455150e-01 -5.58413938e-02
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2,592 | 2,593 | What did Hitler's cat think of the Holocaust? It was purrfect. | [ 5.60629889e-02 6.18622974e-02 -6.03500530e-02 4.61532399e-02
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2,596 | 2,597 | My wife is like a treasure You'll need an accurate map and a fucking shovel to find her. | [-1.85127445e-02 1.22377956e-02 1.39298946e-01 1.93793867e-02
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2,597 | 2,598 | A man walks into a bear... He is mauled to death. | [ 4.11380157e-02 3.29582356e-02 -1.94531661e-02 1.30408466e-01
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2,598 | 2,599 | When Canada abolished the penny there was no public protest at all... ...I guess Canada fears change | [ 6.51509613e-02 1.43637164e-02 5.22725955e-02 -3.66233550e-02
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2,599 | 2,600 | Grandpa looks at his grandson and says, "Go hide! Your teacher is here because you skipped school today." The grandson says, "No, you go hide. I told her you were dead!" | [-6.53786287e-02 1.32174835e-01 6.10718783e-03 -2.40874905e-02
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6.46779090e-02 6.50202036e-02 1.91166415e-03 -4.79048267e-02
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6.09831735e-02 1.01315521e-01 -1.60322897e-02 5.08429371e-02
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1.46681696e-01 2.96483859e-02 3.72586474e-02 -2.81590335e-02
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8.26054625e-03 5.96411638e-02 6.96418062e-02 -6.69676661e-02
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1.08622402e-01 8.08309615e-02 -2.75383028e-03 4.28078920e-02] |
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