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int64 0
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2,700 | 2,701 | A man starts a line of pickled venison ... ...the most popular flavor so far is dill doe. | [-6.80098236e-02 -6.79843351e-02 -2.77434923e-02 2.01891437e-02
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2,701 | 2,702 | How do you know someone is a Bernie Sanders supporter? Don't worry, he'll fucking tell you. | [ 8.57640952e-02 -9.43399072e-02 7.46386824e-03 -5.79607720e-03
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2,702 | 2,703 | My wife was captured by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to her. | [-5.93631342e-02 3.04160342e-02 7.93381408e-02 2.20009219e-02
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2,703 | 2,704 | Girls aren't friends with other girls. They are just future enemies. | [-3.85382362e-02 -6.28008023e-02 3.56451422e-02 -2.96855066e-02
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2,704 | 2,705 | A guy walks into a drs office with a carrot in his ear.. ..and a piece of broccoli up his nose. The Dr told him he isn't eating right. | [-6.63375342e-03 6.84605679e-03 -5.77100404e-02 3.06767933e-02
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2,705 | 2,706 | Ever wondered why is being gay a sin? It's simple. We all know 69 as a sex position. Satan's own number is 666. Now think about gays, and 666 as a sex position. | [ 3.42556685e-02 1.24064721e-02 -5.43042161e-02 3.69594023e-02
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2,706 | 2,707 | My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization. | [ 3.28419097e-02 -5.10207340e-02 2.24536359e-02 3.33514139e-02
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2,707 | 2,708 | When I was a little kid, I had this friend that was always counting. I wonder what he's up to these days. | [ 4.14318442e-02 3.46226580e-02 2.47409046e-02 1.76255498e-02
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2,708 | 2,709 | I was nervous leaving my ex in the backyard with my wife. I'll put a patio on them later. | [ 7.16263577e-02 1.96263492e-02 6.19795285e-02 3.79201118e-03
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2,709 | 2,710 | Did you hear about the brake pedal who had to leave his job? He had to stop when he got depressed | [-5.54207759e-03 2.62355059e-03 3.46633680e-02 6.21008724e-02
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2,710 | 2,711 | What do you call customers at Lidl? Lidl people. | [-6.84591085e-02 -4.36204951e-03 -1.29194753e-02 2.05292255e-02
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2,711 | 2,712 | Tell me I'm beautiful "You're beautiful" Tell me I'm a genius "You're a genius" Tell m- "Just give me the toilet paper, please" | [-4.87006307e-02 2.87339855e-02 9.70744193e-02 1.39776245e-03
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2,712 | 2,713 | What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Any dog. A building can't jump. | [ 7.28097856e-02 -1.53866736e-02 2.97588482e-02 3.26110758e-02
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2,713 | 2,714 | "We don't serve time travellers here" said the bartender... "We don't serve time travellers here" said the bartender. A time traveller walks into a bar. | [ 1.21400123e-02 2.88696587e-02 2.56213471e-02 3.65432575e-02
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2,714 | 2,715 | What does a bungie jumper and a condom wearer have in common? If the rubber snaps they're screwed. <----- this is a classic xD | [-5.12795188e-02 5.59961945e-02 4.68277819e-02 -7.54096285e-02
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2,715 | 2,716 | I've just started work as a human chess piece. The money's good, I'm on knights this week. | [-3.28308181e-03 5.16790245e-03 -7.09231347e-02 -2.46388512e-03
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2,718 | 2,719 | Wearing sunglasses inside is a great way to let people know that you should be hated unconditionally | [-5.22370711e-02 6.95561171e-02 4.82065752e-02 -1.02079874e-02
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2,719 | 2,720 | So I was feeling really depressed due to the attack in Paris... I phoned the Islamic Samaritans. When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane. | [ 7.18554109e-02 6.96758181e-02 -2.26551369e-02 1.41083142e-02
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2,720 | 2,721 | Movie Names For Your Penis There Will Be Blood YOUR TURN | [-7.66752660e-02 8.58431868e-03 -2.12143157e-02 2.75377929e-02
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2,721 | 2,722 | How my day went today 1. Woke up 2. Went to work 3. Saw hot girl 4. Kissed the girl Too bad it happened in the order 2,3,4,1. | [-1.95199344e-02 1.26334501e-03 9.92390513e-02 2.07519103e-02
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2,722 | 2,723 | I always get nervous before injections so I shut my eyes. I usually end up stabbing the chair. | [ 6.78086579e-02 -3.96879017e-02 -3.75533663e-03 4.78135720e-02
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2,723 | 2,724 | I stab myself a little bit every day to slowly build up an immunity to being stabbed to death. | [ 1.56274494e-02 -9.07452218e-03 3.58527750e-02 5.90548664e-02
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2,724 | 2,725 | I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous | [ 9.80379619e-03 2.20309738e-02 8.34326372e-02 3.68762687e-02
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2,727 | 2,728 | Did you know that Truett Cathy, Founder of Chick-fil-A, wanted a CFA sandwich for his last meal? Unfortunately, he died on a Sunday. | [-7.94116408e-02 -4.59964499e-02 -4.67111915e-02 2.08164193e-02
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2,728 | 2,729 | Here's to the stork that brings good babies... "Here's to the stork that brings good babies, the crow that brings bad babies, and the swallow that brings no babies at all!" | [-3.42865065e-02 6.04041293e-02 -8.78119841e-02 4.52631377e-02
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2,729 | 2,730 | Me and the other guys from the circus.... ... took a night off to see some stand-up comedy but he was really mean and cutting. He went straight for the juggler. | [ 1.22853378e-02 1.02106504e-01 -2.93941908e-02 -1.90251973e-02
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2,730 | 2,731 | A racist joke What is the difference between a pizza and a black guy? A pizza can feed a family of four. | [-4.41286564e-02 8.98153707e-02 -8.07918161e-02 6.29959181e-02
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2,731 | 2,732 | [Library] MAN: Do you have books on fire? LIBRARIAN: Yes, in the Chemistry section MAN: Come on boys! *Swarms of firemen enter with hoses* | [-5.71777634e-02 4.64041717e-02 -3.57846171e-02 2.89389715e-02
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2,732 | 2,733 | I'm going to adopt a tapeworm. Perfect pet, cheap to feed, doesn't pee, bark, chew stuff or sit on your head. Best bit, it makes you skinny. | [ 9.52934474e-03 -2.93451399e-02 4.95978706e-02 3.59955765e-02
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2,733 | 2,734 | 50% of mariachi bands end in divorciachi. | [ 7.41873961e-03 1.38716009e-02 2.30028220e-02 6.12389147e-02
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2,734 | 2,735 | When it comes to the topic of body dysmorphia and gender assumptions, i'm not a fan. Infact I identify more closely to an air conditioning unit. | [ 2.98660453e-02 1.25542795e-02 -3.08955163e-02 1.21932529e-01
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2,735 | 2,736 | what do you call a cat that copies off others' exam papers? a cheetah | [ 2.08803844e-02 6.86775893e-02 -4.10551019e-02 6.09527901e-03
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2,736 | 2,737 | Why do the bees have honey? Because they have a queen. If they had a parliament, they would have had nothing. | [ 4.80379388e-02 1.39033441e-02 7.59982318e-02 3.27185877e-02
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2,737 | 2,738 | Titanic sank 103 years ago... ...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO! | [-3.17925029e-02 2.21831892e-02 1.00685768e-01 7.85930902e-02
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2,738 | 2,739 | Had to pause Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory to go buy a king sized Snickers. This is why i can not watch Breaking Bad. | [ 1.20377541e-02 9.30366665e-03 2.58030389e-02 1.10254465e-02
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2,739 | 2,740 | "I gave him the what for!" "What for?" "Because he deserved it, that's what for!" | [-6.68319166e-02 2.09683418e-01 2.76952912e-03 -1.15799844e-01
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2,740 | 2,741 | Sometimes I'll just go "liking" some shit on the Internet and I honestly don't even know if I really mean it. | [ 1.10204974e-02 -1.32113233e-01 6.21497817e-02 1.70367921e-03
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2,741 | 2,742 | A rabbi a priest and a crocodile walk into a bar Chuck Norris mother fuckers.....whoooooooooooooo | [-8.33077878e-02 1.09274881e-02 -1.65967777e-01 5.90279847e-02
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2,742 | 2,743 | Kid 1 swallows coin= rush to ER Kid 2 swallows coin= wait til it passes Kid 3 swallows coin= deduct from allowance. | [-5.77962324e-02 2.01848801e-02 2.89756302e-02 -1.52948536e-02
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2,743 | 2,744 | Did you hear about the cannibal who visited the ICU ward? His doctor told him to eat more vegetables. | [ 3.50422002e-02 4.25512232e-02 -4.45814244e-02 3.46824005e-02
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2,744 | 2,745 | *stares at phone* why cant i sleep *puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brigtness bathes my room in a light mor powerfubl than the sun* oh | [-4.49617729e-02 6.16983809e-02 1.35499537e-01 1.31339151e-02
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2,745 | 2,746 | It's like these people that have to shop at Goodwill don't even realize how lucky and trendy they are! | [-3.68922688e-02 3.04313749e-02 6.29275963e-02 -1.42009342e-02
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2,746 | 2,747 | Dave's Adventure In A Cave (Limerick) There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit and missing one tit, but think of the money he saved! | [-2.00556889e-02 8.04796517e-02 -3.62828635e-02 2.21112538e-02
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2,747 | 2,748 | A homeless lady agreed to let me take her home I don't understand why she got pissed when I loaded the cardboard box in my pickup truck. | [ 2.61708256e-02 3.39908153e-02 4.16927785e-02 8.61499831e-02
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2,748 | 2,749 | We need to get into the fertilizer industry... I hear business is booming. | [ 3.59297879e-02 -5.79187088e-02 2.80948170e-02 -1.28605543e-02
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2,749 | 2,750 | I'm not saying don't trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy in the number of Ipads I've won & the number of Ipads I own. | [ 9.18515585e-03 -1.95284069e-01 4.66475114e-02 -4.87158336e-02
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2,750 | 2,751 | What do you get when you combine 99 lesbians and a politician? 100 people that don't do dick | [ 2.39291582e-02 -3.36699039e-02 -5.29529490e-02 -1.36145120e-02
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2,751 | 2,752 | I like to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I'll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out. | [-8.20836425e-02 4.51718308e-02 7.20926970e-02 -1.93412434e-02
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2,752 | 2,753 | You can tell a lot about my BF by the way he's giving me the silent treatment. He's doing it wrong. I'm doing it right but can't tell him. | [ 6.43762052e-02 2.85552703e-02 5.79014458e-02 -1.40561059e-03
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2,753 | 2,754 | what do you call a hooker with a runny nose? full. | [ 2.25432795e-02 4.33485722e-03 -6.41355291e-02 5.95901981e-02
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2,754 | 2,755 | What is it called when sensitive medical information about a very fat patient is disclosed? A hippo violation | [ 2.78760791e-02 1.20143421e-01 -5.89309558e-02 2.06240732e-02
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2,755 | 2,756 | Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they're absolutely right because smart men don't get married. | [-3.63317393e-02 -4.47569899e-02 7.56492838e-02 2.69190036e-02
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2,756 | 2,757 | What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her pussy? Only one retarded thing came out of her pussy. | [-1.71432439e-02 -7.19773769e-02 -4.54393998e-02 8.13381933e-03
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2,757 | 2,758 | There's been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed... | [-3.06099448e-02 -3.45366187e-02 1.27273440e-01 4.29206342e-02
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2,758 | 2,759 | Doctor: How long has this been bothering you? Women: It started after work 2 days ago at 7pm. Men: I think it started in the 90's. | [-8.85736011e-03 4.53462265e-02 2.78759245e-02 1.32932648e-01
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2,759 | 2,760 | Some people are complaining about the Trump Presidency... But it's oKKK with me! | [ 3.56750078e-02 3.43151018e-02 2.98901880e-03 3.02941091e-02
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2,760 | 2,761 | So a duck walks into a bar... He waddles over to a seat and settles in. The bartender says "Hey there, what can I get for you?" And the duck says "I... I don't know. I've never made it this far." | [-3.05325370e-02 2.37925537e-02 -3.43179367e-02 4.02136967e-02
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2,761 | 2,762 | "Hot damn!" - the Nazi's probably after their dams were destroyed. I don't know; I'm not a historian. It's just an educated guess. | [-5.82405478e-02 7.88559020e-02 -3.01912874e-02 1.45449758e-01
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2,762 | 2,763 | Who is the king of the pencil case? The Ruler | [-9.30790678e-02 3.62518877e-02 -3.97388600e-02 -4.29844251e-03
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2,763 | 2,764 | Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion ! | [-1.16818789e-02 1.59364462e-01 -3.11017095e-04 6.72341958e-02
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2,764 | 2,765 | "It's not a colonoscopy, it's a colonoscpportunity!" - gastroenterologist who is also a motivational speaker | [ 2.63923239e-02 -3.12993340e-02 -7.17563741e-03 3.40238810e-02
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2,765 | 2,766 | Why was diarrhoea classified under hereditary diseases? It runs in the Jeans. | [-3.23105156e-02 -2.65539484e-03 -8.42000917e-03 3.31873633e-02
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2,766 | 2,767 | "I ruined my health by drinking to everyone Else's." | [-1.49164563e-02 1.27910808e-01 3.79492640e-02 8.20173100e-02
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2,767 | 2,768 | Shit. Gotta huge job interview tomorrow and I have no clue where I put my prom dress | [-3.27125601e-02 1.03284739e-01 4.36197221e-02 2.52593104e-02
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2,768 | 2,769 | How do you think bus driver interviews go? Applicant: Sorry I'm late! Interviewer: You're hired! | [-4.01479416e-02 -3.17394501e-03 9.71201286e-02 1.41394585e-02
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2,769 | 2,770 | Today somebody told me about a bear that climbs a mountain... ...But the story goes downhill from there. | [-3.26364823e-02 5.61445206e-02 8.73665512e-02 1.34941012e-01
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2,770 | 2,771 | I'm going to talk to my broker today about cashing in some of my stocks. And by that I mean, "taking all my change to the coinstar machine" | [-2.26947498e-02 1.49336895e-02 5.08012157e-03 -3.66643220e-02
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2,771 | 2,772 | What do a guitar and a drum have in common? Neither of them are a clarinet! | [ 2.63986606e-02 -2.79066525e-02 -1.46013061e-02 -4.69252691e-02
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2,772 | 2,773 | Rick Astley asked to borrow my Pixar collection. I said "Rick, you can have Toy Story, Cars & Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up" | [-1.53500110e-01 3.72181572e-02 9.57339723e-03 -2.58675795e-02
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2,773 | 2,774 | What do Jews love most about their mobile phones? They can charge them. | [-3.49630080e-02 1.66436747e-01 6.72663525e-02 -1.46721713e-02
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2,774 | 2,775 | If you take longer than 10 seconds at the hand dryer, I will wipe my hands on the back of your shirt. | [-4.53116521e-02 8.69251508e-03 8.73342752e-02 2.64396556e-02
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2,775 | 2,776 | I don't have a girlfriend.... I just know a few people who would get mad if I said that. | [-1.03521375e-02 -6.89722449e-02 1.82344262e-02 -1.09563936e-02
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2,776 | 2,777 | What will Kayne West's political leaning be if he runs for President? West wing | [ 4.78894562e-02 -9.17455629e-02 -9.92493518e-03 -1.76710635e-02
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2,777 | 2,778 | Did you hear what that guy said to the Reddit moderator the other day? **[Deleted]** | [-3.37813348e-02 4.52366378e-03 -1.24452645e-02 1.30706197e-02
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2,778 | 2,779 | Why does it take Sarah Palin so long to get ready in the morning? Because she has two faces. | [-3.93920578e-03 -3.76897082e-02 7.87836686e-02 6.64670989e-02
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2,779 | 2,780 | I hope I get a watch for Christmas! Because there's no present like the time. | [-8.98662657e-02 -7.42560020e-03 -2.75226217e-02 -2.17008889e-02
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2,782 | 2,783 | ME [yelling down into a volcano]: You shut your stupid Earth mouth | [ 2.85215490e-02 4.15045395e-02 1.19958624e-01 -2.16250475e-02
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2,783 | 2,784 | How much does a Rabbi charge for circumcision? Nothing. He just keeps the tips. | [ 4.01162170e-02 9.16085616e-02 -4.32061218e-02 -6.77534705e-03
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2,784 | 2,785 | What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog? Stupid. | [-9.63777956e-03 7.71367252e-02 -6.80296402e-03 7.38066211e-02
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2,785 | 2,786 | I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo. | [ 4.85345256e-03 -4.75609452e-02 8.88185129e-02 2.65643504e-02
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2,786 | 2,787 | Girls look back at your wedding photos, if you are fatter than that, he is not happy.. | [ 8.47854540e-02 8.73106569e-02 4.51917611e-02 4.52862792e-02
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2,787 | 2,788 | Guys, I know Michael Jordan very well... .. He just doesn't know me. | [ 4.28304300e-02 5.73140979e-02 -1.50552681e-02 -2.64155027e-02
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2,788 | 2,789 | I'll do your taxes for free if you tell my mom we're dating. | [-2.58760732e-02 2.69261375e-02 6.52573034e-02 -1.62505675e-02
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2,789 | 2,790 | My Home Internet Password 2kids1dog. Thats an orgy I don't want to be apart of. | [-7.20958859e-02 -5.09013534e-02 -1.51442345e-02 -7.35021532e-02
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2,790 | 2,791 | I've decided to give karate a break for a little while... I guess you could say I am going on a HI-YA-tus. | [-4.10033688e-02 -3.22360434e-02 6.45282492e-02 3.72332484e-02
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2,791 | 2,792 | I think my blind girlfriend just broke up with me She said she wanted to see other people. | [-3.33095603e-02 -1.52493760e-01 9.68091115e-02 5.25313541e-02
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2,792 | 2,793 | Why did no one like the Archer Because he was too arrowgant! | [ 3.46056633e-02 -3.26924287e-02 -1.05043855e-02 2.53346991e-02
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2,793 | 2,794 | Wife sneezed... ... and told me she was allergic to my hotness. My response: so do you break out in sex? | [ 4.73882109e-02 -3.70296054e-02 3.92091013e-02 5.35029173e-02
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2,794 | 2,795 | What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Wife. | [ 1.26928352e-02 -1.86184533e-02 -3.65795307e-02 8.89965072e-02
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2,795 | 2,796 | What do you call a psychic midget that escapes prison? A small medium at large. | [ 5.86389052e-03 4.25440185e-02 -4.53511737e-02 4.40517552e-02
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2,796 | 2,797 | My friend told me he is FINALLY going to watch the Back to the Future series. "It's about time," I told him. | [-3.15415375e-02 1.33692538e-02 4.42030244e-02 -3.24505456e-02
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2,797 | 2,798 | Apparently, people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones... ...But people in Abu Dhabi DOOOOOOO! | [ 7.19578713e-02 -4.06774879e-02 5.69633581e-02 -2.79645175e-02
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2,798 | 2,799 | I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES "Don't you mean catlike-" BAAAH [Climbs on top of roof and begins eating shingles] | [ 3.37456949e-02 1.54346169e-03 1.10775828e-01 3.58250104e-02
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2,799 | 2,800 | Instead of complaining that it's hard to remove glitter, accept it. Embrace it. You are a shiny person now. | [-8.76375511e-02 4.83312011e-02 1.32950917e-01 1.43882977e-02
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8.65746737e-02 -7.26244459e-03 3.14222500e-02 2.92718727e-02] |
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