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int64 0
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2,200 | 2,201 | My paper aeroplane won't fly. It's completely stationery. | [-1.97121757e-03 -5.59073035e-03 3.43890861e-02 2.11344734e-02
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2,201 | 2,202 | You think you're pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone else's shower. | [ 1.99254658e-02 -4.47530635e-02 1.38695240e-01 -3.36912996e-03
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2,202 | 2,203 | If I die in a fire, I want my last words on my grave... ... "I won't die, I'm 70% water!" | [-1.07791135e-02 3.68257388e-02 -8.83487333e-03 4.47240332e-03
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2,203 | 2,204 | What's the best way to capitalize on an opportunity? ON AN OPPORTUNITY | [ 1.64574403e-02 5.52893318e-02 2.29829140e-02 1.74051505e-02
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2,204 | 2,205 | 60 Second Lover I think my girlfriend has fucked sixty one people before me. She calls me her sixty second lover .... | [ 2.64805518e-02 1.89161003e-02 1.37610240e-02 -1.52250919e-02
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2,205 | 2,206 | What do you call a midget psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large | [ 7.90297706e-03 7.22226650e-02 -2.12482475e-02 2.13025901e-02
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2,206 | 2,207 | Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting. How about drawing two umbrellas? | [ 2.30005756e-03 -2.15948485e-02 1.00058205e-01 3.76697592e-02
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2,209 | 2,210 | It puts the lotion in the basket. Then it calls the wife to make sure it's the right brand so it doesn't get the hose again. | [-2.32215524e-02 9.06587690e-02 7.08630159e-02 3.03469971e-02
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2,210 | 2,211 | Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock. | [ 1.88829973e-02 4.25937176e-02 -3.64250876e-02 -4.25887182e-02
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2,211 | 2,212 | What happens to a tapeworm after it dies? It will be interred. | [ 8.22411384e-03 -2.46086251e-02 -2.05969680e-02 -2.27418505e-02
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2,212 | 2,213 | Just ate the last slice of pizza and I wish there was more. Suddenly all of Taylor Swifts songs make sense to me. | [ 4.00727130e-02 -1.36831507e-01 6.02261536e-02 -8.91131349e-03
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2,213 | 2,214 | Now that Fox News is 18 can we send it to Iraq? | [ 5.18870167e-02 3.42038386e-02 -4.49209800e-03 1.85500495e-02
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2,214 | 2,215 | If a red panda is caught stealing, what do you call it? It was caught Red Panded | [-3.57024334e-02 1.73469540e-02 -3.34096886e-02 2.34115720e-02
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2,215 | 2,216 | What do ants drink? Tea. It's an ant tea joke. | [-5.51443966e-03 1.12869516e-02 3.65692936e-02 4.43748161e-02
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2,216 | 2,217 | I don't need to run a marathon to load up on carbs and ask someone to wrap me up in a blanket. | [-4.93686274e-02 5.68701699e-02 2.16584420e-03 1.20062985e-01
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2,217 | 2,218 | Did you hear about the unfashionable mechanic? He needed to change attire. (I'm probably too proud of myself for making this one; someone's almost definitely done it before.) | [-7.52782077e-02 1.19290821e-01 7.73825571e-02 2.19457690e-02
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2,218 | 2,219 | I recently came into a very large sum of money so they fired me from my job at the bank. | [-2.80325692e-02 1.01958610e-01 -8.50815512e-03 7.81859644e-03
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2,219 | 2,220 | How many dadaists does it take to change a lightbulb? Giraffe. | [ 4.14513685e-02 -4.26363796e-02 -2.27804109e-02 4.19527702e-02
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2,220 | 2,221 | A small boy got lost at a baseball game... He went up to a police officer and said: "I've lost my dad." "What's he like?" asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, "Beer and women." | [-2.90585794e-02 1.10735625e-01 -6.99054673e-02 3.14669684e-02
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2,221 | 2,222 | Donald Trump wants to build a wall between USA and Mexico... It's okay, we have tunnels. | [ 2.53435900e-03 3.58896814e-02 2.12746244e-02 1.11888917e-02
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2,222 | 2,223 | I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... fucking livid | [-2.96413600e-02 5.03186733e-02 -5.77509031e-03 -9.71513391e-02
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2,223 | 2,224 | The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar... It was in tense. | [-3.52435969e-02 7.57911131e-02 7.83706922e-03 1.13984651e-03
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2,224 | 2,225 | What's the difference between a blonde and an Airbus A380? Not everyone has been in an Airbus A380. | [ 7.45650604e-02 -3.56989615e-02 3.56183313e-02 1.75740942e-02
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2,225 | 2,226 | It's amazing the little things you learn about your kids as they grow everyday. For example today I learned my 3yo is kind of a mean drunk. | [ 3.60057205e-02 1.15278019e-02 2.51482893e-02 5.43972962e-02
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2,226 | 2,227 | Every time I don't clog a toilet I feel like I've gotten away with something | [ 7.25302473e-02 -6.54995963e-02 7.86294863e-02 -7.48502929e-03
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2,227 | 2,228 | How many cannibals does it take to make a sandwich? Two. | [ 1.78806460e-03 3.31818387e-02 -1.69284418e-02 -1.14405565e-02
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2,228 | 2,229 | Married men aren't allowed to go the grocery store alone because we're the kid in the shopping cart, but with money | [ 1.56147145e-02 4.74478938e-02 -3.48973088e-02 7.82291144e-02
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2,229 | 2,230 | I was asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer. | [ 3.66273411e-02 -8.29043761e-02 -4.99217734e-02 2.51547154e-02
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2,230 | 2,231 | If someone says you're a nice person, these things will happen: 1) They will ask you for a favor. 2) You will not get laid. | [-1.25592366e-01 -1.32443728e-02 6.55225515e-02 4.76399623e-02
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2,231 | 2,232 | The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. 'Nothing' reversed is 'Gnihton' which also means nothing | [-3.31923217e-02 4.64876592e-02 -3.50173656e-03 5.69257070e-04
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2,232 | 2,233 | What do kids like to eat in the playground? Recess Pieces. | [ 5.45512419e-03 3.45027260e-02 9.04804692e-02 1.15166260e-02
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2,233 | 2,234 | I was asked to babysit once but it didn't go very well. You're not meant to sit on them. | [ 5.81893232e-03 -2.05771457e-02 -2.82016210e-03 8.16658661e-02
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2,234 | 2,235 | How do jellyfish live without brains They are blond | [ 1.45931905e-02 -7.02316058e-04 -8.38220492e-03 1.00830784e-02
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2,235 | 2,236 | i sold all my lizards to buy my girlfriend a Toyota Tundra but she sold her drivers license to buy me a awesome obstacle course for lizards | [-4.00047638e-02 3.52243856e-02 7.62075111e-02 -6.38831826e-03
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2,236 | 2,237 | What's another word for "thesaurus"? Steven Wright joke, iirc. | [-4.14528884e-02 -8.64791647e-02 -7.93207809e-02 -1.56944692e-02
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2,237 | 2,238 | Anonymous gets Alzheimer's They sign off: We are Anonymous, we are a legion, we do not forgive, we do not.... | [-7.65255615e-02 1.14795836e-02 -4.11281362e-03 5.01878932e-02
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2,238 | 2,239 | What's brown and sticky? (wait! There's more...) What's brown and sticky? A Stick. What's brown, sticky and Yiddish? A schtick. | [ 9.12668090e-03 -1.49230501e-02 -1.27377240e-02 3.27117331e-02
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2,239 | 2,240 | What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper | [-7.42321610e-02 1.04766324e-01 -5.98471761e-02 -6.05525449e-03
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2,240 | 2,241 | How do you call a beautiful feminist? An oxymoron | [ 5.67567684e-02 -5.83997406e-02 -4.54425775e-02 9.53786299e-02
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2,241 | 2,242 | Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?" | [ 8.99856761e-02 -8.76495019e-02 -1.18582929e-02 -1.45526575e-02
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2,242 | 2,243 | What do you call a nun that sleep walks? A roamin' catholic | [ 9.67590045e-03 -1.70348324e-02 -6.55289143e-02 1.00572892e-01
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2,243 | 2,244 | I saw a badass preview for a new movie coming out! It said it was called "U.S. Marines" | [-1.05190344e-01 -3.98400538e-02 -3.31344791e-02 7.71193719e-03
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2,244 | 2,245 | *sticks switchblade into bag of NES cartridges, licks tip of knife, nods to boss* It's good. | [-6.41905144e-03 5.31341322e-03 -1.96733493e-02 -2.14169901e-02
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2,245 | 2,246 | Me: Girls' night in!!! Cat: I'm a cat. Me: You're my best friend. Cat: I'm not even a girl cat. Me: So it's like a date? Cat: Get help. | [ 5.46877235e-02 3.63710448e-02 5.40437661e-02 7.00005144e-02
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2,246 | 2,247 | Dont drink and Derive Especially in Meth class | [ 2.69956645e-02 6.13679104e-02 -3.13875154e-02 8.87397211e-03
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2,247 | 2,248 | It's all fun and games until you lose your wifi signal. | [ 1.76785979e-02 -3.41567472e-02 6.40421510e-02 1.27850997e-03
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2,248 | 2,249 | Last night, Daredevil beat me up and took my money. I was robbed blind. | [-4.67754761e-03 3.12822051e-02 -3.49005833e-02 2.25377642e-02
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2,249 | 2,250 | I wouldn't say my butt plug the best sex toy... but it's definitely up there. | [ 1.59494963e-03 -4.33179252e-02 3.12220007e-02 -1.40712168e-02
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2,250 | 2,251 | My friend tried to get me with bird puns today... I told him toucan play that game. | [ 7.60245603e-03 3.33917774e-02 2.50868592e-02 -2.52923258e-02
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2,251 | 2,252 | In the earliest part of my life I was a man trapped inside a woman's body. Then mom gave birth to me. | [-4.77415249e-02 8.87660608e-02 -2.00401749e-02 1.15500934e-01
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2,252 | 2,253 | I got mad at a rock today. I chopped it in half with my lightsaber. Now there are two rocks. Send help. Now. | [ 3.92800383e-02 2.97116907e-03 1.11368798e-01 3.01964558e-03
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2,253 | 2,254 | Doctor says: "No sex for 6 weeks after birth." Me: Why? Did her vagina see its shadow? Doctor: Me: Doctor: Please tell me you're not the father. | [-2.77305115e-02 3.15581635e-02 -2.37732138e-02 9.21296105e-02
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2,254 | 2,255 | We're gonna party like its 1999. //breaks out Nokia flip phone and starts to panick about Y2K// | [-1.18373379e-01 3.91099118e-02 7.20698982e-02 -8.94469842e-02
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2,255 | 2,256 | I'm starting a dating app for people who live in Eastern Virginia I'm calling it Chesapeake BAE | [-2.86883637e-02 -5.40405884e-03 8.96313265e-02 -1.95561852e-02
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2,256 | 2,257 | Man! Did anyone else see the result of the Egypt vs Ethopia soccer game? Egypt: 8. Ethopia: Didn't. | [-5.34626171e-02 1.17913514e-01 1.76395085e-02 -4.50784415e-02
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2,257 | 2,258 | what's the male equivolent of a widow? Free | [ 3.17387807e-04 5.54908030e-02 -2.84036547e-02 4.42233421e-02
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2,258 | 2,259 | *Britney Spears releases a new fragrance* *the other dinner guests look embarrassed and pretend not to notice.* | [ 6.13472611e-02 1.72803365e-02 1.15933329e-01 2.29428764e-02
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2,259 | 2,260 | [god creating ants] Anteater: finally | [ 1.71799790e-02 6.59253076e-02 -1.34887192e-02 -1.48695670e-02
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2,260 | 2,261 | What did the Alligator say to the turtle? Can I bayou a drink? | [-7.81425908e-02 1.05089419e-01 3.03480425e-03 6.03052080e-02
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2,261 | 2,262 | How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus, the clowns don't talk. | [ 6.34409934e-02 -2.35795714e-02 2.05838121e-02 -2.51067337e-02
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2,262 | 2,263 | main difference between /news/ mods and north korea? one side executes people for no reasons and puts people in detentions camps, the other one is a country. | [-2.99533829e-03 3.94295566e-02 -2.80349352e-03 -3.78403999e-02
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2,263 | 2,264 | pull my upvote | [-1.25740871e-01 -5.87704778e-02 1.50960879e-02 -6.12982782e-03
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2,264 | 2,265 | I went to the zoo the other day... The only animal they had was a small dog. It was a shih tzu | [ 9.24464390e-02 6.60720915e-02 8.70388523e-02 1.07211582e-01
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2,265 | 2,266 | If Twitter has taught me anything it's that the best career choice is divorce lawyer. | [-2.34786049e-02 -1.52847674e-02 -8.10149126e-03 2.92623118e-02
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2,266 | 2,267 | Why do people love their smartphones so much? Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!) | [-5.24521954e-02 3.72987092e-02 1.61683008e-01 -2.37612296e-02
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2,267 | 2,268 | When someone says "I need this done yesterday" it's like I'm not going to be bossed around by someone who doesn't understand how time works | [-2.38171462e-02 5.11528440e-02 7.24004507e-02 1.34086572e-02
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2,268 | 2,269 | ran outta bowls so i filled the cups of a bra with peanuts on one side, chips on the other then carried it to the couch. im 26, available | [ 6.04323447e-02 8.22109058e-02 -5.55596221e-03 7.98121542e-02
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2,269 | 2,270 | They say that the best airing time is 20:00... ...but I think 19:59 is the real prime time. | [-2.21950058e-02 -3.95817012e-02 -1.99529566e-02 -3.38967256e-02
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2,270 | 2,271 | If you don't get my Harry Potter references, there is something siriusly ron with you | [-4.62381914e-02 -6.49599880e-02 -6.07460439e-02 -3.23512219e-03
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2,271 | 2,272 | How long does it take an Ethiopian Women to take a shit? 9 Months. | [ 3.55031751e-02 5.45659848e-02 4.79262788e-03 8.37310106e-02
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2,272 | 2,273 | Real men don't cry...tears for real men are only unnecessary liquids in the body. | [-3.61624844e-02 -1.72956698e-02 8.02478492e-02 4.24867272e-02
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2,273 | 2,274 | I sleep with a knife under my bed in case I can't open my midnight snacks. It also comes in handy if people try to steal them. | [ 2.22068932e-02 6.14024028e-02 -1.78165268e-02 3.98598835e-02
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2,274 | 2,275 | Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. | [ 6.74094446e-03 -8.92210193e-03 -3.58530842e-02 2.22115777e-02
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2,275 | 2,276 | What does a tech geek say when they're taking a shit? "Clearing my cache." | [-4.04412560e-02 5.02608605e-02 2.87982021e-02 -2.08364557e-02
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2,276 | 2,277 | What do you call someone who knows all? Nostril-damus.   Works better if you read the joke out loud. | [ 3.20111960e-02 -8.11947137e-03 -8.40523541e-02 2.44321972e-02
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2,277 | 2,278 | I read in the news today that a man in Los Angeles was killed when he got caught up in a turf war. I wonder if he was mowed down? | [ 9.35498998e-02 -1.14778392e-02 -2.96808896e-03 1.25023620e-02
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2,278 | 2,279 | At jury duty they said, "You do not have to be fluent in English." So what you're supposed to do is just guess if the guy is innocent. | [ 2.43432391e-02 2.87446063e-02 4.23322506e-02 -9.40713137e-02
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2,279 | 2,280 | What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite | [-5.74534349e-02 -7.03073340e-03 -1.93950273e-02 7.41528273e-02
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2,280 | 2,281 | The new Pope got Bird flu... ...I heard he caught it from one of his Cardinals. | [ 2.12059561e-02 2.42694188e-02 5.76417930e-02 7.87642449e-02
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2,281 | 2,282 | Can't wait till bin Laden slips up and checks-in on Foursquare. | [ 5.30739091e-02 -3.50912921e-02 4.78989398e-03 -6.80943131e-02
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2,282 | 2,283 | What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? If it's a good day lipstick | [-6.96995705e-02 4.38817665e-02 1.70090217e-02 2.14195140e-02
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2,283 | 2,284 | Whats common between dark jokes and little kids with cancer... They never get old. | [ 4.84159309e-03 -1.92944035e-02 -2.90051312e-03 6.98822290e-02
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2,284 | 2,285 | What do you call a Mexican that flies a plane? A pilot, you racist! | [ 2.78875194e-02 6.27758279e-02 -1.01153508e-01 4.52176854e-02
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2,285 | 2,286 | Why did the existential nihilist cross the road? Who cares. | [-2.88428608e-02 -9.07681230e-03 6.67702546e-03 1.87715571e-02
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2,286 | 2,287 | You have the nicest syntax I've ever seen. | [-1.01798706e-01 6.59129471e-02 5.41789271e-02 7.04061752e-03
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2,287 | 2,288 | now this is really a joke i love to read jokes but theres no function to read the next joke so it is a lot of tedious clicks to get there | [-1.83295179e-02 -7.48909414e-02 1.10075297e-02 3.99805829e-02
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2,288 | 2,289 | I like my women like I like my wine... Twelve years old and in the cellar. | [ 6.37578545e-04 3.20859179e-02 -1.41156306e-02 1.53745199e-02
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2,289 | 2,290 | Accidentally pressed 2 for Spanish and Donald Trump's security team came out of nowhere to deport me. | [ 2.12937910e-02 -1.71914343e-02 6.19918630e-02 -2.19200104e-02
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2,290 | 2,291 | What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut fucks everyone... A bitch fucks everyone but YOU. | [ 1.76979061e-02 -7.81088024e-02 -2.97269244e-02 3.39035243e-02
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2,291 | 2,292 | A Russian asks another Russian if he's seen the new magic show in town. "Cock ta-da?" "Yeah, horror show." | [-9.85473674e-03 -1.18189501e-02 -4.10492308e-02 -1.90930138e-03
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2,292 | 2,293 | What do you call a hobo with an afro? A frobo. | [-3.68610956e-02 1.08920172e-01 -1.22191042e-01 1.81488823e-02
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2,293 | 2,294 | People say you never see ninjas but I see their girlfriends hanging around mosques all the damn time. | [ 2.55154669e-02 5.38792089e-02 -5.56632541e-02 4.62458767e-02
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2,294 | 2,295 | What does a landmine field and my pet friendly apartment complex have in common? It doesn't matter where you step, shit is about to happen | [ 4.33477722e-02 -2.36245971e-02 4.04440314e-02 -4.21763361e-02
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2,295 | 2,296 | Why do rabbits love beer? Because it's made of hops. | [ 5.18472753e-02 1.12114032e-03 2.15509776e-02 7.85174742e-02
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2,296 | 2,297 | A boy met a girl She:Every time u smile, I feel like inviting u to my place He(smiling):Why thank u.. are u single? She:No, I'm a dentist | [-4.66247052e-02 3.34435143e-02 4.46240902e-02 3.24132293e-02
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2,297 | 2,298 | My friend was raped by a teenager mutant ninja turtle. He wasn't wearing a mask, so we don't know which one did it. | [-5.17904945e-02 1.49443507e-01 -5.01939170e-02 4.82218899e-02
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2,298 | 2,299 | A man walks into a bar... Just kidding | [ 5.05719159e-04 -4.21546437e-02 -1.46090686e-02 2.13235263e-02
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2,299 | 2,300 | A man with a... A man with a twelve in penis can't spel. | [ 1.32849030e-02 -8.22877511e-03 -9.47284326e-02 -6.88712075e-02
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5.78756779e-02 1.73004679e-02 -1.40986899e-02 6.36696294e-02] |
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