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2,100 | 2,101 | I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else's | [ 2.45785024e-02 -4.65416685e-02 4.90020849e-02 1.85308959e-02
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2,101 | 2,102 | I wish young people would stop idealising future dystopias and start enjoying the one they're in. | [ 5.26455715e-02 6.04083501e-02 1.61963142e-02 -5.06494045e-02
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2,102 | 2,103 | What do you call a man standing up to his knees in water? Wade | [-8.03849846e-02 8.17480832e-02 -4.83990051e-02 -1.77293271e-02
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2,103 | 2,104 | I was going to tell a joke about sodium... But then I said "Na, I'll do it later." | [-6.32675961e-02 -1.27498377e-02 6.23534992e-02 4.01046276e-02
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2,104 | 2,105 | If you combined all the movies of Rob Schneider and made them into one single movie, it would be an extremely long movie. | [-3.95667180e-02 -7.15862215e-02 -1.37890447e-02 -3.33480909e-02
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2,105 | 2,106 | I ate way too many freedom fries yesterday. I had to liberate the toilet for hours. | [ 4.59913015e-02 -4.46044058e-02 1.57410465e-02 2.76808757e-02
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2,106 | 2,107 | I made a website for Kids' jokes. But for some reason people seem hesitant to go to kidslaughter.com | [-6.19878396e-02 -7.28006959e-02 9.41872504e-03 2.48670485e-02
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2,107 | 2,108 | Yo mama so fat... ... slapping her belly causes gravitational waves. OR ... every step she takes causes a ripple in special relativity. | [-1.41554540e-02 -7.12899938e-02 4.22276631e-02 1.18057437e-01
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2,108 | 2,109 | I was fighting with my wife over the arrangement of the dining-room furniture. I thought I had won but when I got home from work the tables were turned. | [ 4.72958982e-02 7.80094191e-02 3.78721245e-02 6.73222123e-03
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2,109 | 2,110 | All the jokes about iPhone 6S are just slightly improved jokes about iPhone 6. | [-2.45794803e-02 -9.74756014e-03 9.47593078e-02 1.09927682e-02
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2,110 | 2,111 | Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra... The police are on the lookout for two hardened criminals... | [-7.27826282e-02 4.30664606e-02 -4.36506979e-02 -6.90581882e-03
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2,111 | 2,112 | Where do you find the best tofu in the entire world? | [ 8.72404221e-03 -7.77876973e-02 -3.33497897e-02 6.02979921e-02
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2,112 | 2,113 | yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds. | [ 3.62899192e-02 -3.80850136e-02 -1.77895257e-04 -3.27783339e-02
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2,113 | 2,114 | My kid wanted juice but I gave him water which he promptly turned into whine. | [-3.69675979e-02 7.10731149e-02 1.43220406e-02 1.68834794e-02
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2,115 | 2,116 | Boss: I suspect one of you is dead [Everyone looks at me, except for Paul, who is not moving at all] | [-3.33810300e-02 3.13286372e-02 4.53262310e-03 -6.36140928e-02
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2,116 | 2,117 | Three stages of a man's life . . . . . Want to stand up Want to stand up Want to stand up | [-3.57333594e-03 6.12378046e-02 -5.17170690e-02 -3.01816817e-02
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2,117 | 2,118 | Oh yeah bro? That's not what your mom said last night. I don't think so, anyway. It was a long conversation. She sounds well. Lovely person. | [-9.28844418e-03 -2.95107085e-02 3.11322100e-02 -2.98933703e-02
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2,118 | 2,119 | I just bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day | [-4.98164594e-02 3.15085128e-02 6.21916726e-03 2.54031513e-02
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2,119 | 2,120 | Be alert! The world needs more lerts. | [ 8.59512296e-03 4.77086902e-02 4.06810790e-02 -3.86931822e-02
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2,120 | 2,121 | - "... He accidentally drank some radioactive milk and became_ - MILKMAN!! - No. He became gravely ill and died. What are you? An idiot?!" | [-4.89929086e-03 7.02030584e-02 -6.34082314e-03 5.54075278e-02
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2,121 | 2,122 | Visiting grandma (nsfw) Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy." | [ 2.65386347e-02 2.05525476e-02 2.30379403e-02 2.28971187e-02
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2,122 | 2,123 | I was having sex with a woman last night and she kept screaming this other guys name. Who the hell is this "Rape" fellow, anyway? | [-2.27165502e-02 -1.88493883e-04 -7.27311820e-02 3.42867263e-02
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2,123 | 2,124 | When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked. | [ 1.65788084e-02 -2.78476556e-03 3.69873866e-02 9.16559994e-02
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2,124 | 2,125 | Two peanuts were walking through Central Park late at night. One was a salted. | [-3.99772194e-04 5.08585721e-02 7.99999535e-02 5.41178212e-02
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2,125 | 2,126 | What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the point. | [-4.34555709e-02 -2.57698204e-02 8.78260359e-02 2.39791721e-02
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2,126 | 2,127 | Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they can't be happy because others have it better. | [ 1.33774895e-02 6.69526979e-02 1.80047639e-02 3.35278437e-02
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2,127 | 2,128 | Little girl: "Grandma, make a noise like a frog." Grandma: "Why?" Little girl: "Cause daddy says we'll make a lot of money when you croak." | [-1.55701526e-02 3.65803614e-02 3.58614661e-02 2.03261878e-02
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2,128 | 2,129 | My thanks to Mexican Coke for sponsoring this week's weirdly tight pants. "Mexican Coke: Porque tu pantalones deben ser dolorosos." | [-9.36051235e-02 8.80216211e-02 1.99171491e-02 -3.34756300e-02
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2,129 | 2,130 | What's the difference between a brothel and a circus? Your mother never ran away to join the circus. | [ 6.77152053e-02 3.80887724e-02 -8.17109868e-02 2.06718296e-02
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2,130 | 2,131 | The missus just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof. | [ 1.01582147e-01 -1.98808615e-04 4.27620374e-02 5.27277626e-02
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2,131 | 2,132 | did you hear about that kidnapping in Texas? He woke up. | [ 8.06507748e-03 1.32036414e-02 2.56911479e-02 6.38905093e-02
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2,132 | 2,133 | FB lesson number #1. If you don't want people meddling in your business, stop posting it on your status. | [-2.36784387e-02 3.94543298e-02 -4.18146253e-02 -6.63614497e-02
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2,133 | 2,134 | The greatest thing about Christmas is how it teaches kids to be selfish little shits on someone else's birthday. | [-3.03504691e-02 1.33596137e-01 2.24945676e-02 -5.07625826e-02
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2,134 | 2,135 | A pig with wings walks into a bar. Stunned, the bartender says "You can't bring food in here from another restaurant! Even if you are a cop!" | [ 5.01742586e-03 2.73671262e-02 -4.05396260e-02 3.05495150e-02
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2,135 | 2,136 | My favorite jokes are the short ones that make me laugh. Here's a short one that I hope makes you laugh. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? - You look for FRESH PRINTS!! | [-1.04751430e-01 3.58259678e-02 2.49920990e-02 5.33010997e-02
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2,138 | 2,139 | "Raising a family is hard," he said. "Not if they're buried close enough together," replied the Necromancer. | [-1.05150953e-01 5.71372248e-02 8.79193004e-03 -1.03741707e-02
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2,139 | 2,140 | I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out. | [ 7.42492378e-02 1.23997759e-02 -7.82987289e-03 -2.51654778e-02
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2,140 | 2,141 | Just when I think I'm 100% against the death penalty, I see a bright yellow hummer taking up two parking spots. | [ 1.14365742e-01 3.60765979e-02 2.66581159e-02 -1.02676801e-01
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2,141 | 2,142 | What do you call a cute homeless girl? Dust Bunny | [ 3.38497087e-02 -3.94164547e-02 5.35970554e-02 7.85044506e-02
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2,142 | 2,143 | I asked my wife if we could do 68 tonight. She'd blow me, and I'd owe her one. | [-1.79670732e-02 1.10443212e-01 -1.66125745e-02 3.97224687e-02
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2,143 | 2,144 | The toilet bowl was stolen from the local police precinct last night. The cops have nothing to go on. | [ 5.11773378e-02 7.18120784e-02 3.70475836e-02 -2.11582314e-02
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2,144 | 2,145 | No, you're not fat, you're just easy to see. | [ 4.80393171e-02 -6.61455542e-02 1.76295452e-02 9.81328860e-02
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2,145 | 2,146 | Did you guys see the new line of Tony Romo's cologne? Every time you wear it, you fuck up and the other guy scores. | [-6.33107498e-02 8.16871300e-02 7.98161887e-03 -3.52189019e-02
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2,146 | 2,147 | What does Sean Connery wear to avoid the paparazzi? His shunglasshesh | [-8.13058168e-02 5.46603613e-02 9.89766885e-03 -2.05624406e-03
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2,147 | 2,148 | I farted on the bus today and four people turned around I felt like I was on The Voice | [ 5.12490980e-02 -3.93879041e-02 5.61850071e-02 -1.30651575e-02
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2,148 | 2,149 | (NSFW) What did the haddock get covered in at the fish orgy? SALMONal fluid | [-3.47354449e-02 1.07584655e-01 7.51477899e-03 5.79948165e-02
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2,151 | 2,152 | Is this InkJet any good? Sure, we've sold it to royalty Princesses? Mate, it prints ALL the letters! | [-1.78233664e-02 9.59353056e-05 3.67650501e-02 -1.04412464e-02
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2,152 | 2,153 | What do you call someone who sneezes doing cocaine? A snowblower | [-1.98548138e-02 1.14499861e-02 1.30263092e-02 2.80011892e-02
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2,153 | 2,154 | Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store. | [ 1.21827726e-03 5.48207609e-04 4.20947261e-02 4.10639644e-02
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2,154 | 2,155 | Why does Donald Trump hate Chris Jericho? Because Jericho wants to break the walls down | [ 3.60695608e-02 8.37213993e-02 8.60808343e-02 -5.43763116e-02
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2,155 | 2,156 | Remember that AMA guy whose mother slept with him because he had broken his arms? She was adding incest to injury. | [-7.75792152e-02 2.15930939e-02 3.67572270e-02 9.23774913e-02
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2,156 | 2,157 | What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin? Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share. | [-6.08421639e-02 1.91095639e-02 -8.56335610e-02 4.41339351e-02
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2,157 | 2,158 | Yes, I am aware pigs are more intelligent than dogs. Why would I want to eat an inferior animal and absorb its lesser powers? | [ 8.87814015e-02 1.69587904e-03 4.20492403e-02 6.53871074e-02
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2,158 | 2,159 | Why does the little mermaid wear sea-shells? Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big. | [ 8.04798603e-02 1.25069022e-01 1.02746539e-01 -2.94377841e-03
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2,159 | 2,160 | Why does santa say ho ho ho? Because three hos are better than one! | [ 4.03928459e-02 6.77218661e-02 -2.43454631e-02 -3.26081961e-02
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2,160 | 2,161 | IAMA convicted murderer who escaped last week from an upstate New York prison currently on the run somewhere in North America. AMA! | [-2.08886266e-02 2.45797299e-02 -2.16018390e-02 2.35735066e-02
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2,161 | 2,162 | I've found that whenever God closes a door, Satan hands me a lockpick. | [-3.32590565e-02 5.47509044e-02 5.58186555e-03 9.81592014e-02
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2,162 | 2,163 | Pepsi just bought out Nike. Nike's new slogan will be, "Just Dew It". | [-6.77605271e-02 -2.71250755e-02 1.62569433e-02 1.08545851e-02
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2,163 | 2,164 | You're the only one who understands me, last remaining sleeve of Oreo cookies. | [-1.69086340e-03 8.88087824e-02 4.08608057e-02 1.51173649e-02
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2,164 | 2,165 | Knock knock. Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow, I didn't know you could yodel! | [-1.11160073e-02 3.13975327e-02 6.50513172e-02 -1.85833517e-02
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2,165 | 2,166 | A Wizard walks into a gay bar, and disappears with a poof. | [ 2.00838484e-02 4.29580584e-02 -8.02975148e-02 5.89758568e-02
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2,166 | 2,167 | what if soy milk is just regular milk.... introducing itself in spanish | [-1.50361995e-03 -9.36431736e-02 2.20331121e-02 5.27447788e-03
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2,167 | 2,168 | There are some problems in life that can be solved with chocolate....others require a full clip and a shovel. | [-1.58715004e-04 -3.80388112e-03 1.48346081e-01 8.95984322e-02
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2,168 | 2,169 | Lovers joke When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date. | [-4.03203117e-03 -5.44489268e-03 7.89283067e-02 7.95252249e-02
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2,169 | 2,170 | Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard. | [-6.87413989e-03 1.04321819e-03 4.64763045e-02 -6.37339102e-03
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2,170 | 2,171 | There are 10 kinds of people... * The ones who know binary * The ones who doesn't know binary * and the ones who taught that this joke was in binary... | [ 9.06384178e-03 -1.04086380e-02 -1.48090757e-02 3.01272515e-02
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2,171 | 2,172 | Well... I like to think of it this way if we survived two fantastic 4 movies we could survive Ragnarok and hey we did good job world | [-3.31337936e-03 -4.20951359e-02 -1.25254234e-02 -6.67778477e-02
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2,172 | 2,173 | What do you call an Irish Jew? A leprechaun! | [ 2.01297365e-02 1.21876225e-01 -5.08194901e-02 -1.10375974e-02
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2,173 | 2,174 | *boss calls me into office* "um but sir my name is--" Be quiet you're "into office" now | [-4.82853390e-02 2.44397372e-02 6.61704242e-02 1.54306265e-02
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2,174 | 2,175 | Shadow dancers begin making a mock hanging motion to Katy Perry's singing | [-5.56052290e-02 -7.02217817e-02 4.51542661e-02 -4.61364025e-03
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2,175 | 2,176 | How can you tell if lunch meat is from West Virginia? It's in bread | [ 4.49859872e-02 6.25427216e-02 9.85555071e-03 5.56703191e-03
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2,176 | 2,177 | Just witnessed a white girl take a selfie with her coffee in Starbucks. I always heard the legends but never thought I'd see it in the wild. | [-2.55078431e-02 2.66883392e-02 1.18498793e-02 8.12051818e-02
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2,177 | 2,178 | What is it called when a bunch of people, all under 5'2", go to a raging party? High wasted shorts! | [ 5.02265729e-02 5.69650456e-02 -2.54911110e-02 4.53657247e-02
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2,180 | 2,181 | The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain't good. | [ 3.48730013e-03 8.68350093e-04 1.14077032e-01 3.87626179e-02
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2,181 | 2,182 | 13 year old girls be like "I need a man who.. " Lol the only Man in your life should be Spongebob. Yallah go finish your homework. | [-5.37347123e-02 1.41280163e-02 -9.26450547e-03 -1.08753957e-01
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2,183 | 2,184 | What type of car does an African drive? A Sudan | [-1.35855367e-02 7.57272020e-02 -5.39772259e-03 6.26949072e-02
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2,184 | 2,185 | If you watch the biggest loser backwards it's a story about your mom. | [ 5.68997487e-02 -1.80409551e-02 8.66206456e-03 4.26477119e-02
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2,185 | 2,186 | Why does homemade bread not make your throat itch? It's made from scratch ^*NB ^OP ^is ^heckle-proof* | [-2.13836096e-02 -2.34419219e-02 2.58449148e-02 -3.91362533e-02
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2,186 | 2,187 | I really can't walk the walk or talk the talk but if you need someone to drink the drink, I'm your man. | [-2.85134837e-02 -7.16017410e-02 4.62078005e-02 2.30872799e-02
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2,187 | 2,188 | Where does bad light go? Into a prism. | [-7.42397620e-04 9.31689609e-03 2.45589484e-02 1.07524574e-01
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2,188 | 2,189 | Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor | [-3.30135822e-02 3.08476053e-02 6.84139971e-03 1.23807088e-01
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2,189 | 2,190 | Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth? | [ 7.00743422e-02 -2.76719183e-02 4.41402495e-02 -5.17338775e-02
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2,190 | 2,191 | Why was six afraid of seven? Seven is a registered six offender. | [ 6.40311092e-02 -3.56685789e-03 -8.80385470e-03 5.22359237e-02
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2,191 | 2,192 | Wanna hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism. | [-5.76993227e-02 -4.94829342e-02 -3.33257318e-02 1.28910784e-02
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2,192 | 2,193 | What did the gang-banger say when two houses fell on him? Get off me, homes. | [-1.22401649e-02 7.58316293e-02 3.42410095e-02 3.80628556e-02
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2,193 | 2,194 | You know it's cold outside when... You buy a foot long at Subway and by the time you get it to you car it's a six inch | [ 3.62465009e-02 1.91307776e-02 7.54061416e-02 8.73872861e-02
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2,194 | 2,195 | What car does the Loch Ness Monster drive? A Ford F-tree-fiddy | [ 2.52440199e-02 1.22361770e-02 3.03863399e-02 9.62992907e-02
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2,195 | 2,196 | Did it hurt when you fell? Into the toilet, you piece of shit? | [ 6.06599264e-02 -7.84389488e-03 6.99586868e-02 7.31845722e-02
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2,196 | 2,197 | Boy becomes Jedi, gets married, turns evil, has twins, becomes Darth Vader, complicated crap, ewoks. Boom, STAR WARS. You're welcome, girls. | [-5.69318905e-02 1.49886068e-02 7.75355427e-03 -4.17321436e-02
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2,197 | 2,198 | What smells worse than an anchovy? An anchovy's cunt | [ 1.89421494e-02 -2.62433384e-02 4.35588602e-03 3.23968977e-02
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2,198 | 2,199 | Did you guys hear about the girl that had three vaginas? She kept getting fucked left, right and centre. | [-4.20141686e-03 -4.43287641e-02 -4.60598432e-02 3.23963389e-02
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2,199 | 2,200 | The awkward moment when you say, "I love you," then the pizza delivery guy says, "That'll be $12.46, please." | [-5.40970713e-02 1.37395263e-01 3.87501195e-02 5.76557741e-02
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2.63408031e-02 1.55936806e-02 -6.78325817e-02 -7.69886374e-02] |
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