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int64 0
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2,000 | 2,001 | Dear women, you're all fucking crazy. Signed, every dude. | [ 8.03170279e-02 -9.63322539e-03 2.08405815e-02 -8.76125470e-02
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2,001 | 2,002 | Viagra Tea Does nothing for your sexual vigour, but stops your biscuit going soft. | [-3.44212726e-02 -5.01857810e-02 -2.77193133e-02 2.63967775e-02
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2,002 | 2,003 | What's the slipperiest country? Greece! | [ 2.97863185e-02 -2.93169394e-02 -1.35150747e-02 2.62024086e-02
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2,003 | 2,004 | Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright? Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!' | [-4.38434966e-02 3.69326547e-02 7.74539262e-02 2.53474303e-02
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2,004 | 2,005 | You did yoga. You didn't negotiate a peace treaty. Stop walking around like that. | [ 6.47353232e-02 4.61912453e-02 2.40592957e-02 -3.10836099e-02
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2,005 | 2,006 | What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ? Sleep in the wardrobe ! | [ 5.77593863e-04 8.22037086e-02 -1.52353281e-02 6.67848885e-02
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2,006 | 2,007 | My ex-girlfriend once said "It's either me or Twitter." I wonder how she's doing. | [-1.00476136e-02 -6.55562207e-02 5.22101000e-02 -1.59837480e-03
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2,007 | 2,008 | What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk? | [-4.78567183e-02 -3.56062688e-02 -7.16898299e-04 7.29033500e-02
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2,008 | 2,009 | My children annoy me so I'm leaving everything in my will to a nap I took in 2007. | [-1.89559050e-02 7.15053827e-02 5.26802950e-02 5.17225340e-02
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2,009 | 2,010 | How many fat people does it take to get a subreddit banned? [This post has been banned for your protected - Ellen Pao] ^^^NINJAEDIT: ^^^Just ^^^one | [-4.44736592e-02 -4.26942436e-03 -8.06751288e-03 2.34965738e-02
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2,010 | 2,011 | Some people say I dream too much, I say it's just because my life is better than their dreams are. | [ 7.23510087e-02 -2.26477068e-02 5.58550805e-02 1.06473556e-02
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2,011 | 2,012 | How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children? You put a guitar in his hands. | [ 1.07078683e-02 9.13699344e-02 -7.86517933e-03 -2.43099593e-03
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2,012 | 2,013 | When my boss is mad and takes it out on me, I do less work. Can't reward bad behavior with a positive response. Training works both ways | [ 1.33441295e-02 4.70081270e-02 -2.45093238e-02 4.53817993e-02
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2,013 | 2,014 | I've just been refused entry to the National Alzheimer's conference. "Do you know who I am?" I shouted. | [ 3.82686630e-02 7.82448873e-02 1.24217132e-02 4.15504128e-02
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2,014 | 2,015 | Trump is asked what his position on women's issues Trump replies "Look, I know a lot of women and they all have issues" | [ 1.12299174e-01 2.73553990e-02 1.40211442e-02 7.24995807e-02
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2,015 | 2,016 | By law, you are required to turn on your headlights if it's raining in Sweden. How the hell am I supposed to know if it's raining in Sweden? | [ 6.27994686e-02 -1.88400969e-02 5.37060350e-02 9.27975401e-03
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2,016 | 2,017 | why don't melons run away to get married? because they cantaloupe | [ 2.59976927e-02 1.47683006e-02 6.86716437e-02 2.24756710e-02
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2,017 | 2,018 | "Pardon me miss, but would you mind moving out of the way?" --Polite Ludacris | [ 3.90352984e-03 -5.27720060e-03 1.00562070e-02 1.46864331e-03
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2,020 | 2,021 | I was gonna make a gay joke... But Fuck that | [ 1.62686203e-02 -1.33789144e-02 -3.69191281e-02 8.52502417e-03
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2,021 | 2,022 | Mt. Everest has lost its record status ... ... now that a British astronaut is Earth's highest Peake. | [ 1.08960411e-02 1.81085542e-02 2.42595505e-02 -3.85219837e-03
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2,022 | 2,023 | Any subreddits to help you cope with schizophrenia? Asking for a friend | [ 6.40455121e-03 -7.09773898e-02 -1.66053213e-02 -1.47859175e-02
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2,023 | 2,024 | Confucius say... Man who go to bed with sex in mind, wake up with solution in hand. | [-2.42178030e-02 7.73833096e-02 -1.49502773e-02 3.66209298e-02
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8.99617374e-03 4.37076837e-02 4.91729490e-02 -5.34045063e-02] |
2,024 | 2,025 | Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool. | [ 4.15443219e-02 8.48464482e-03 1.18473554e-02 -4.41611037e-02
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2,025 | 2,026 | Putting the dog down today. Gonna start by telling him he has a big nose. | [ 3.80498879e-02 6.47496507e-02 7.72390217e-02 -6.62825478e-05
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2,026 | 2,027 | The nice thing about being a pessimist is that in the end you are either pleasantly surprised or you have the satisfaction of knowing you were right all along. | [ 4.87439055e-03 3.30574885e-02 7.18383938e-02 5.43535277e-02
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2,027 | 2,028 | So if Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was the Lamb of God... ... Does that mean Mary had a little lamb? | [-1.22287413e-02 8.99177492e-02 3.46271433e-02 1.02841295e-01
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2,028 | 2,029 | dumbledore: our enchanted ceiling shows us wat the sky outside looks like mcgonagall: so...a magic glass ceiling dumbledore: [starts sweating] | [ 3.91117446e-02 1.12193851e-02 7.01978803e-02 6.48962259e-02
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2,029 | 2,030 | Sometimes when I'm sad, I'll go to the park and, from a distance, look thru my thumb and index finger and begin squishing people's heads... | [ 5.61827198e-02 -3.01451199e-02 7.77185857e-02 1.46563929e-02
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2,030 | 2,031 | What's the difference between magic and black magic? Black magic doesn't work. | [-3.83746577e-03 -3.49726416e-02 -1.03207633e-01 -1.44617278e-02
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2,031 | 2,032 | What is that the more you desire, the less you can get? Beautiful girls. | [ 1.96164642e-02 2.18109190e-02 3.60225141e-02 3.38954069e-02
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2,032 | 2,033 | A man walks into a bar... His friends ducked. | [ 4.89185788e-02 3.79193053e-02 -1.90433431e-02 2.51480378e-03
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2,033 | 2,034 | I fucked up making my coffee today \#nofilter | [-2.22738385e-02 4.37205695e-02 5.43697737e-02 5.11854663e-02
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2,034 | 2,035 | I just got fired for putting my penis in the pickle slicer at the restaurant where I work She only got docked a week's pay | [-5.57147413e-02 5.06762825e-02 6.79030344e-02 2.16225237e-02
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2,035 | 2,036 | Why did so many jews die at Auschwitz? Because the exit doors were coin operated. | [ 9.54560637e-02 1.32668808e-01 -3.67204845e-02 5.81030473e-02
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2,036 | 2,037 | What do you call a slow hurricane? A slowicane. | [ 1.34038152e-02 3.78496125e-02 4.51718830e-02 1.11670561e-01
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2,037 | 2,038 | What Should I Do Today? Eat A Bomb?Nuke A Toaster?Ride Nyan Cat Into Space?Bomb ISIS?Oh Theres Just So Much You Can Do! | [ 3.03563047e-02 5.03572263e-02 2.60821711e-02 -3.71022262e-02
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2,038 | 2,039 | I heard this amazing joke the other day, made me laugh so hard. Unfortunately I seem to have forgotten it. | [-8.95465165e-02 2.88749188e-02 -4.84749228e-02 1.12962335e-01
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2,039 | 2,040 | Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is. | [-6.41944772e-03 -1.37698613e-02 2.32971609e-02 4.67150845e-02
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2,040 | 2,041 | *looks at crushed dead raccoon on the side of the road* i'm thinking Arby'sTM | [ 4.01964709e-02 -1.30406730e-02 -4.75929864e-02 7.28287920e-02
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2,041 | 2,042 | LPT: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine into your brain,and that's where shitty ideas come from. | [ 1.37128280e-02 -4.80869338e-02 -2.42464636e-02 5.32212779e-02
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2,042 | 2,043 | A grown man smelling like baby powder stood next to me today. My maternal instincts have never been so confused. | [ 1.88858230e-02 1.59026794e-02 2.55972911e-02 4.92517576e-02
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2,043 | 2,044 | A double-amputee walks into a bar Then he remembers he's already legless and walks out again. | [ 4.65058163e-03 1.40075572e-02 -5.05649969e-02 4.91582155e-02
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2,044 | 2,045 | How much does it cost for a pirate to get their ears pierced? A Buccaneer. | [ 4.19913679e-02 1.12776712e-01 -1.52731519e-02 -4.25549336e-02
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2,045 | 2,046 | What did the elephant say to the man? Cute, but how do you pick up peanuts with it? | [-5.81465550e-02 1.25999659e-01 3.26745324e-02 6.32480830e-02
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2,046 | 2,047 | I just took the Bruce Lee of dumps. It fucked my ass all up. | [-2.21645180e-02 1.08662501e-01 3.24833989e-02 4.92867902e-02
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2,047 | 2,048 | What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates : 1. Nice shirt 2. Wow, a second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts. | [-8.18765536e-03 2.15190891e-02 6.05686605e-02 1.36348326e-02
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2,048 | 2,049 | [gf comes home after spray tanning] Hey, orange you looking good! "Thanks" Anytime, pumpkin! "You're sweet" You're one in vermillion! | [-5.12168780e-02 3.92992236e-02 9.31945667e-02 5.83048072e-03
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2,049 | 2,050 | Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old's lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours. | [ 3.19411606e-02 8.06709155e-02 9.01928097e-02 4.92282845e-02
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2,050 | 2,051 | *First Date* Me: *Flirting* You have to promise not to fall in love with me. Him: There's cheese in your hair. And we haven't eaten yet. | [-2.88388263e-02 2.32764371e-02 8.26862082e-02 4.91702147e-02
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2,051 | 2,052 | What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat? One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different | [ 3.83325592e-02 4.22342075e-03 -4.21979912e-02 1.30398218e-02
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2,052 | 2,053 | Dear guys wearing skinny jeans, I... Can't.... Breathe.... Sincerely, your damn balls. | [ 1.85212921e-02 5.41671328e-02 9.34329107e-02 1.48763799e-03
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2,053 | 2,054 | What do you call a bearded gardener? Hairy Potter | [ 2.48869136e-02 6.38128892e-02 -1.88780818e-02 2.17576995e-02
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2,054 | 2,055 | I thought I really understood what I was thinking, and then I spoke. | [ 1.71077345e-02 -4.24847417e-02 -6.37399172e-03 -5.59534468e-02
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2,055 | 2,056 | Sorry about your street cred, black guys named Milton. | [ 2.80167032e-02 -1.31908562e-02 5.02239242e-02 -3.12973857e-02
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2,056 | 2,057 | What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile? Just trying to fit in, really. | [-2.89825462e-02 -5.85330604e-03 4.70565148e-02 -2.83437651e-02
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2,059 | 2,060 | Where was Timmy when the bomb fell? Everywhere. | [ 3.41597311e-02 1.06916271e-01 -4.20452328e-03 9.92738828e-03
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2,060 | 2,061 | What does a preverted frog say? Rubbit. | [-4.26699333e-02 -1.35090388e-02 -1.37575585e-02 1.43071273e-02
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2,061 | 2,062 | The cops did a high-risk raid on a drug operation located at a barn I guess you could say it was a *high steak operation* | [ 1.62593275e-02 4.06344533e-02 -2.23293807e-02 -3.29692587e-02
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2,065 | 2,066 | What do you call an aligator in a vest? investigator | [-4.75516580e-02 1.06910877e-01 -7.24843293e-02 3.68288606e-02
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2,066 | 2,067 | My bathroom smells like somebody just took a shit when I walked out of it. | [ 6.65203184e-02 -2.75796596e-02 5.90923131e-02 1.52179459e-02
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2,067 | 2,068 | What is the most affectionate type of chicken? The tender ones (Badum Tss) | [ 3.32207270e-02 -8.48445892e-02 9.00670048e-03 4.28482927e-02
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2,068 | 2,069 | If you're in college, what do you do when your flatmate has an epileptic seizure in the bathtub? ...throw in your dirty laundry. | [ 3.71176098e-03 3.74124087e-02 1.10029370e-01 -7.64204413e-02
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2,069 | 2,070 | "Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Maryland State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years." | [-7.15609193e-02 7.36058727e-02 1.33704152e-02 -4.86346222e-02
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2,070 | 2,071 | "Liquor in the front, poker in the back" is not an acceptable tee shirt slogan for my church's charity poker team... I know that now. | [ 1.20430309e-02 9.82569754e-02 -7.19615072e-02 -1.48177836e-02
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2,073 | 2,074 | My friend bought a choir girl zombie costume for Halloween. She put it on and said, "Am I menacing?" I said, "Of course, you're a choir girl." | [-2.19919272e-02 1.10509790e-01 7.87301455e-03 1.64540522e-02
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2,074 | 2,075 | Saudi Arabia... ...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council. | [ 5.74281365e-02 2.35337410e-02 -5.98716214e-02 1.66695453e-02
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2,075 | 2,076 | The definition of mixed emotions... My mother-in-law driving of a cliff in my new car | [ 6.81744292e-02 -2.75345799e-02 5.42450212e-02 8.61859173e-02
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2,077 | 2,078 | Phone on silent. 10 missed calls. Turns volume to loudest. Nobody calls All damn Day. | [-1.53042842e-02 -1.49537148e-02 3.14437002e-02 2.87850555e-02
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2,078 | 2,079 | It was recently discovered that Pluto is not actually a dog. | [ 2.92968415e-02 -1.07314736e-02 7.94751272e-02 5.51451743e-02
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2,079 | 2,080 | Ever hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither did he. | [-2.66318675e-02 -4.17377949e-02 -1.47515023e-02 1.50029724e-02
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2,080 | 2,081 | I used to go out with a Welsh girl who had 36DDs. I had no idea how to pronounce her name. | [ 4.19701673e-02 -2.32635569e-02 -3.68849002e-02 1.11373933e-02
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2,081 | 2,082 | I'm getting tired of riding to work from New Jersey to Manhattan with my neighbors I guess I'm getting Carpool Tunnel syndrome | [ 2.39797216e-02 -7.07899109e-02 1.00344859e-01 4.35372964e-02
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2,082 | 2,083 | Q: What did one candle say to the other candle? A: Are you going out tonight? | [-1.70036536e-02 4.87786643e-02 3.56742032e-02 2.74748337e-02
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2,083 | 2,084 | LISA GOPMAN: EATING DISORDER For as long as I can remember, I've had an eating disorder: reverse anorexia. It's when I look in the mirror and think I'm really skinny. | [ 2.31995862e-02 -3.60644758e-02 7.65027152e-03 8.13654512e-02
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2,084 | 2,085 | What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo? a force of habit | [ 6.00521499e-03 -4.18253131e-02 -7.29633868e-02 4.79326025e-02
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2,086 | 2,087 | 100% of Nickelback fans drive drunk. | [ 3.99710275e-02 -4.14193906e-02 3.35848853e-02 -2.53680367e-02
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2,087 | 2,088 | [therapy] WIFE: he favors our son over our daughter ME: No way, I love whatsherface just as much as I love Johnny | [-1.29250824e-01 4.91048135e-02 5.46886511e-02 3.92107712e-03
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2,088 | 2,089 | I for one... ... love Roman numerals. | [-7.35604689e-02 7.01509370e-03 4.79812250e-02 -1.35681227e-01
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2,089 | 2,090 | What's big and grey and protects you from the rain ? An umbrellaphant ! | [ 3.83014530e-02 1.22083478e-01 1.23673879e-01 7.19219968e-02
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2,090 | 2,091 | Ever want to have rodeo sex? Get on top and call her by the wrong name and try and hold on for 8 seconds. | [-8.51807967e-02 -6.94451332e-02 4.97284811e-03 -1.54015990e-02
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2,091 | 2,092 | Half of all marriages end in divorce... The other half end in death. | [-2.07468960e-03 8.91800388e-04 6.65675774e-02 3.34226973e-02
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2,092 | 2,093 | Nothing says "We have no faith in our own products" like using a 16 year old girl in your anti-aging cream commercials. | [ 4.20481116e-02 1.46735571e-02 5.12513109e-02 -2.20857821e-02
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2,093 | 2,094 | Republicans say it's raining; Democrats say it's sunny. Rather than go outside and see for themselves, the media reports the controversy. | [ 4.78812456e-02 6.34422945e-03 5.98698594e-02 8.09674114e-02
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2,094 | 2,095 | I think a duck's opinion of me, is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread! | [ 3.96066010e-02 -1.08923474e-02 -4.58132662e-02 2.42287977e-04
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2,095 | 2,096 | What would you call the Fantastic Four if Snoop Dogg joined the team? The High Five | [-1.95782306e-03 -2.11441983e-02 -3.34068201e-02 -2.86906883e-02
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2,096 | 2,097 | Yeah, I guess you could say I "rescued" my dog. I did stop him right before he was gonna start his own podcast | [ 7.88542442e-04 -2.39507426e-02 6.08731247e-02 -1.74139384e-02
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2,097 | 2,098 | Your momma so fat... Her aides close lanes on the George Washington Bridge | [ 3.2704480e-02 -1.9230226e-02 4.9227336e-03 7.6688677e-02
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2,098 | 2,099 | "I love my Job!" -Job's wife | [-1.10006429e-01 6.47304505e-02 5.46492152e-02 1.69302579e-02
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2,099 | 2,100 | TRUMP: Let's get that Muslim Band going "Band? We thought you said ban" TRUMP: No way, that's harsh. Also, how's that Mexican mall coming? | [ 6.99026063e-02 7.59031773e-02 4.22856919e-02 -2.02790760e-02
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2.99341027e-02 6.74110278e-02 -1.08714560e-02 -1.58968065e-02
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1.41751152e-02 3.23723815e-02 -5.35731874e-02 -6.39815778e-02
2.08628667e-03 -1.94366127e-02 8.05089772e-02 -3.31160128e-02
3.02905366e-02 -2.27558725e-02 -6.27444461e-02 1.71145331e-02
4.66142930e-02 -2.11935416e-02 6.03481643e-02 6.25677183e-02] |
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