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1,200 | 1,201 | What's a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it's R but his first love will always be the C. | [-8.51488635e-02 2.61392351e-02 2.76276115e-02 -3.36621120e-03
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1,201 | 1,202 | I work in a popular hotel... I see people come in to stay from all over the world, yet for some reason I've never seen a Native American here. I guess they just don't like to make reservations. | [ 1.87978595e-01 -7.55267777e-03 2.29425039e-02 4.22258861e-02
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1,202 | 1,203 | A mother called the police on her 6 month old baby for not taking a nap. He was resisting a rest. | [-5.28286509e-02 1.33655399e-01 -8.55240971e-02 1.01348288e-01
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1,203 | 1,204 | What do you call a group of Japanese people running up a hill? Tsunami Warning | [-3.72994691e-02 2.35451721e-02 1.03068408e-02 5.83318286e-02
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1,204 | 1,205 | Dodged the bullet A girl asked me today if she is wearing too much make-up. I told her my reply depends on whether or not she intends to kill Batman. | [-2.06965208e-02 8.89992267e-02 1.04802717e-02 3.76745090e-02
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1,205 | 1,206 | For a very short period of time, you were the youngest person in the world. #mindblowing | [ 9.43076685e-02 1.07627459e-01 4.98937368e-02 -2.48984750e-02
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1,206 | 1,207 | What kind of pizzas can tell the future? Medium Pizzas | [-7.17328638e-02 2.33923513e-02 1.84177235e-02 8.42757896e-02
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1,207 | 1,208 | Whenever I put on my Ocean Pacific (op) pants I feel I must say something meaningful. | [-9.27313697e-03 4.58087362e-02 4.16956842e-02 7.34762568e-03
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1,208 | 1,209 | If looks could kill, I'd still use a baseball bat. | [ 3.42766568e-03 1.00923896e-01 3.22548747e-02 -4.79762666e-02
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1,209 | 1,210 | If you want to relate to how old people probably feel just imagine that a bowl of soup cost $40 and everybody else acted like that was fine. | [ 4.29839082e-02 5.89947030e-02 4.40193415e-02 1.02915978e-02
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1,210 | 1,211 | Two Scotsmen walk past a baker One turns to the other and says 'Is that a cake or a meringue?' The other replies 'no you're right, it's a cake' | [ 4.56321463e-02 1.80177148e-02 -5.74424192e-02 1.92097686e-02
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1,211 | 1,212 | What's the difference between a normal pirate and a sexy pirate? The type of booty they plunder. | [-4.69205417e-02 6.35065138e-02 6.46758545e-03 4.25305739e-02
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1,212 | 1,213 | Doctor: *taps knee with mallet* feel that? Me: No Doctor: or this? *jabs toe with a pin* Me: Nah Doctor: Just as I suspected. This is my leg | [-4.42146063e-02 4.87138964e-02 -1.07151351e-03 -2.06742659e-02
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1,213 | 1,214 | All women are crazy but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live. | [ 5.78592382e-02 -1.29970819e-01 3.90762724e-02 -3.18544284e-02
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1,214 | 1,215 | Why is Forrest Gump as a young boy without his leg braces like a Samurai without a master? Because everywhere he went, he was Ronin! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'll see myself out... | [-7.19892308e-02 1.88266556e-03 -3.27786282e-02 2.87747923e-02
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1,215 | 1,216 | what did the kiwi statue said to the other kiwi statue? statue bro? | [-1.70633700e-02 1.82775542e-01 -1.97350495e-02 6.41620681e-02
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1,216 | 1,217 | turkey went out of the frying pan and into the fire only for Putin to put them in the oven | [ 4.95312400e-02 6.62066564e-02 2.70235352e-03 7.16733932e-02
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1,217 | 1,218 | Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong sock this morning :( | [-5.65827228e-02 1.51827186e-02 2.23051887e-02 1.98832657e-02
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1,218 | 1,219 | How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Whatever. | [ 1.02593787e-01 4.48698848e-02 -2.00183652e-02 -2.10665669e-02
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1,219 | 1,220 | If I have 5 apples and Jamal take 3, what color is Jamal? Admit it, you're a fucking racist! | [ 2.36158166e-02 4.61805202e-02 -5.05162962e-02 2.43291003e-03
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1,220 | 1,221 | Tried to take a photograph of some fog Mist | [-5.25599346e-03 7.64366314e-02 9.08256471e-02 1.81774609e-02
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1,221 | 1,222 | If you don't pay your exorcist You get repossessed | [-4.10845131e-02 2.22053081e-02 -1.27657168e-02 4.38127778e-02
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1,222 | 1,223 | Sex Joke So an egg walked up to a sperm and said, "You cum here often." | [-8.14627931e-02 1.78895779e-02 7.13219680e-03 6.22597188e-02
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1,225 | 1,226 | Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading. | [-1.39752449e-02 9.82498676e-02 6.67096153e-02 -1.22949283e-03
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1,226 | 1,227 | What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? a PILOT, you fucking racist! | [ 2.54810397e-02 4.83147539e-02 -1.03818581e-01 5.34095578e-02
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1,227 | 1,228 | Single and divorced men in their 40's prefer women at their own maturity level. That explains why they date women half their age. | [ 9.28448215e-02 1.89382769e-02 5.25363833e-02 4.48649116e-02
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1,228 | 1,229 | CNN got really excited about the #TransAsia plane until they found out it's not missing so now they don't care. | [ 4.09797318e-02 -8.02521966e-03 5.19986190e-02 4.93779443e-02
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1,229 | 1,230 | I see dead people. No wait, I take that back. I see people I want dead. | [ 3.46642314e-03 -4.96599190e-02 -8.66585225e-02 -3.00303497e-03
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1,230 | 1,231 | One woodworm met another. "How's life?" she asked. "Oh same as usual" he replied "boring." | [-5.36362466e-04 1.53891426e-02 5.71861155e-02 7.42112771e-02
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1,231 | 1,232 | Some days I want to leave everything and just run away with him. Other days I want to own 3 baby dragons and be fireproof and naked. | [ 1.57352407e-02 6.17686808e-02 1.64018697e-04 4.55488637e-02
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1,232 | 1,233 | I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon. | [-2.44436469e-02 8.84013101e-02 4.32468615e-02 3.01450063e-02
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1,233 | 1,234 | What's that thing called when your crush likes you back? Oh yeah. Imagination. | [-9.15464535e-02 -3.56446765e-02 6.85181245e-02 1.05521129e-02
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1,234 | 1,235 | What cars do wolves drive? Auuuuuuuuuuuuudis! | [-4.86015924e-04 4.92539965e-02 6.75642863e-02 7.01806024e-02
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1,235 | 1,236 | What to toilet paper and the starship enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons | [-5.84078580e-02 -1.32270847e-02 1.78195015e-02 -1.53121706e-02
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1,236 | 1,237 | The soul weighs 21 grams. We know this because the Jurassic World film reels are 21 grams lighter than Jurassic Park | [-3.19748893e-02 4.46486622e-02 -8.90266616e-03 3.14464904e-02
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1.63606443e-02 -7.72069842e-02 5.12692481e-02 -8.29615444e-02] |
1,237 | 1,238 | South Africa | [-3.37254927e-02 5.34056909e-02 -8.77196416e-02 3.76335680e-02
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1,238 | 1,239 | If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you. | [-2.22164486e-02 -1.18773850e-02 4.69953055e-03 1.23546701e-02
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1,239 | 1,240 | [commercial] [man comes home after long day, opens front door and is attacked by 8 cats] MAN: There has to be a better way! Narrator: DOGS | [ 2.63138227e-02 6.58303313e-03 3.44719887e-02 6.17417097e-02
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1,240 | 1,241 | What's the alien version of Facebook? Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know). | [-2.32341718e-02 -1.94190014e-02 -2.89327540e-02 3.79716270e-02
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1,241 | 1,242 | 4 out of 5 dentists agree: kill a lion. | [-3.14046741e-02 6.35224879e-02 -2.73594662e-04 -1.29298521e-02
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1,242 | 1,243 | Why are dogs bad at dancing? They have two left feet | [ 2.34804228e-02 -2.37049945e-02 7.68622011e-02 5.32197952e-02
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1,243 | 1,244 | There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realise she's left. She obviously wasn't blind at all. | [-2.82061696e-02 -2.37125549e-02 1.24183282e-01 6.58780187e-02
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1,244 | 1,245 | What do you call rude fungi? Shiit-talking mushrooms | [ 6.22035488e-02 -5.72657101e-02 -3.46838869e-02 -3.14913839e-02
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1,245 | 1,246 | I don't know what disturbs me more about my attraction towards my girlfriends mother. The fact that she's 51 or the fact that she's also my mother. | [ 4.53278013e-02 -3.41388546e-02 1.75928436e-02 1.25929918e-02
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1,246 | 1,247 | Today is National Pasta Day I have a friend that would have loved today, but sadly she's pastaway | [-3.51489894e-02 2.98710838e-02 7.37122223e-02 1.48970643e-02
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1,247 | 1,248 | Difference Between Good Girls And Bad Girls Good Girls Open Few Buttons In Hot Atmosphere, But Bad Girls Open All Buttons To Make The Atmosphere Hot. | [ 1.72953587e-02 -1.09799206e-01 1.95148494e-02 5.45783266e-02
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1,248 | 1,249 | I ate the last piece of flan that my wife and I have been fighting over I won the custardy battle. | [-6.29067495e-02 3.57412174e-03 1.56723596e-02 1.75461806e-02
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1,249 | 1,250 | My entire day will be spent laughing at my children because they have to go back to school tomorrow.. | [-6.52877316e-02 3.97203118e-02 5.81820644e-02 1.00929849e-02
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1,250 | 1,251 | I think my wife has a habit of walking in her sleep Every morning I find her sleeping in someone else's bed. | [ 5.27615212e-02 -6.20089211e-02 1.50567442e-02 6.62575066e-02
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1,251 | 1,252 | What is worse than biting through an apple, and finding a worm inside? ~~Rape~~ The picky fuckers on this website. | [-3.15913223e-02 2.91754808e-02 -1.29259918e-02 6.02484196e-02
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1,252 | 1,253 | I couldn't afford to take my kids to Sea World. So I took them to our local fish market, saying, "Shhhh... they're all asleep." | [ 3.19907367e-02 7.54195228e-02 4.92219329e-02 6.47792742e-02
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1,253 | 1,254 | [first date] Me: *don't let him know you're the Mona Lisa* Him: You look nice tonight Me: *smiles ambiguously* | [-4.10523526e-02 5.00884093e-02 9.51112136e-02 2.86723506e-02
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1,254 | 1,255 | Dear Lord, Thank you for these noodles I'm about to eat and the good deal I got buying them in bulk at Costco. RA-MEN! | [-1.32571936e-01 -4.27990630e-02 -5.65674417e-02 9.33687538e-02
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1,255 | 1,256 | What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches. | [-8.72942433e-02 -4.18666610e-03 -1.08583933e-02 6.92799091e-02
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1,256 | 1,257 | Did you hear the one about the perfume store? I heard their manufacturing was in an ol' factory. | [-4.13772874e-02 -9.68878437e-03 6.65904582e-03 4.60081473e-02
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1,257 | 1,258 | Why do melons have traditional marriages? Because they cantaloupe | [ 5.26267476e-03 6.52560145e-02 4.26379368e-02 3.27977799e-02
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1,258 | 1,259 | I was going to major in cosmetology.. ..but then they shut down the space program.. idiots. | [ 5.89587837e-02 -9.08437371e-03 5.44065386e-02 3.51700699e-03
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1,259 | 1,260 | I cant get on Tumblr anymore... My doctor told me to cut down on Trans-Fats | [-3.65554378e-03 -1.11476474e-01 4.09564711e-02 9.14879963e-02
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1,260 | 1,261 | What does Mr. Miyagi do when he gets home from a date? He wax off | [-1.53659843e-02 -2.23807059e-03 8.09749812e-02 2.56346520e-02
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1,261 | 1,262 | Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant. | [ 1.02603408e-02 1.98019221e-02 7.30343908e-02 2.84193419e-02
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1,262 | 1,263 | So I asked this swiss dude to tell me something good about living in Switzerland. "Well" he said "the flag is a big plus!" | [ 4.96879779e-02 1.50873333e-01 1.49630019e-02 1.73890702e-02
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1,263 | 1,264 | Simon: I wrote a song Garfunkel: *reads lyrics* Garfunkel: "I am a rock. I am an island" dude I'm like right here. I thought we were friends | [ 8.30502715e-03 -1.83937196e-02 3.51132713e-02 -4.78213169e-02
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1,264 | 1,265 | What game do two strangers with Social Anxiety play? Don't Break the Ice | [ 3.52150807e-03 -2.71967205e-04 -2.72758249e-02 -2.99359504e-02
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1,265 | 1,266 | Why did the English majors switch to Spanish? (OC) Too many persuasive esses. | [ 7.69652054e-02 -8.47629383e-02 5.80580048e-02 -9.56023112e-03
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1,266 | 1,267 | This year for Christmas.. This year for Christmas I got a new shirt and piece of ass from my wife. Figures, they were both too big!! | [-5.60797267e-02 9.54136476e-02 -1.04222912e-03 -2.03315727e-02
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1,267 | 1,268 | What's the Boogeyman's part-time job? BoogeyNAN! | [-3.22512351e-02 1.29781980e-02 -8.33057612e-03 3.06137130e-02
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1,268 | 1,269 | reckon the clouds look down and say, ''look! that one is shaped like an idiot?'' | [-1.73792783e-02 6.39744475e-02 7.33329579e-02 1.75646059e-02
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1,269 | 1,270 | What is the longest word in the feminist dictionary? Antidickstablishmentarianism. | [ 4.31237742e-02 -3.44168134e-02 -6.79510683e-02 8.42950400e-03
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1,271 | 1,272 | Why did the little Dutch boy have to register as a sex offender? He kept on sticking his finger in a tyke. | [ 6.02392387e-03 1.09581783e-01 -3.85067686e-02 1.58736575e-02
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1,272 | 1,273 | After my surgery, the doctor told me I have to pee sitting down. He told me not to lift anything that weighs more than 10 pounds. | [-2.54781898e-02 9.26197786e-03 -4.13800683e-03 2.41511315e-02
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1,273 | 1,274 | My condolences for you and your family through this difficult transition is why my wife won't let me send back wedding RSVP cards. | [-1.30008068e-02 1.63522232e-02 2.53687575e-02 -2.30224635e-02
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1,274 | 1,275 | Racism is a subjective matter there are no black and white solutions | [-5.05551463e-03 5.97211942e-02 -2.62700394e-02 -6.34192070e-03
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1,275 | 1,276 | "Only a good guy with a forest fire can prevent forest fires" - Smokey the NRA Bear | [-9.39925481e-03 6.66747391e-02 5.80663979e-03 8.01987126e-02
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1,276 | 1,277 | A man walks into a bar... He asks the barman "do you serve women here?" The barman replies "no, sorry, you'll have to bring your own." | [-2.38274620e-03 -1.44177349e-03 -2.25476902e-02 1.80251841e-02
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1,277 | 1,278 | What do you call a powerful, asshole-ish potato? A dick-tater. | [ 6.07792363e-02 -5.38643599e-02 -1.28047809e-01 5.95979113e-03
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1,278 | 1,279 | I said to my dyslexic mate, "Guess which band has split up?" He said, "Erm..." | [ 1.30024999e-02 -7.62603432e-02 2.40019746e-02 2.30132733e-02
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1,279 | 1,280 | Cleaning out the garage, I found some things I didn't even realize I had. Like a tent, a new printer, and a fourth kid. | [-4.35221903e-02 1.01578236e-01 7.74210840e-02 3.23412195e-02
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1,280 | 1,281 | My penis is so polite..... .....it stands up to give ladies a place to sit down. | [ 3.04871015e-02 1.98407453e-02 4.44169343e-02 -4.14638780e-02
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1,281 | 1,282 | If Frieza is King Cold's son... Does that make him a little Cold? | [-4.23184335e-02 5.87196350e-02 -3.47929411e-02 9.71030146e-02
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1,282 | 1,283 | Strip club[OC] So I'm at the strip club and this huge breasted woman comes up to me and slaps me silly with her left titty. Guy sitting next to me says,"bet that's gonna leave a lasting mammary." | [ 2.26606857e-02 -3.37654315e-02 -4.30749170e-02 6.02275059e-02
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1,283 | 1,284 | Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stays up all night wondering if dog exists. | [-3.04625705e-02 -6.41460717e-02 2.23300606e-02 7.26195425e-02
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1,284 | 1,285 | Don't cut out part of your day to throw out clocks! It's a waste of time! | [ 5.87677956e-02 1.02352843e-01 7.96284974e-02 3.56011838e-02
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1,285 | 1,286 | I witnessed a murder today.. then I realized it was just a group of crows. | [ 3.57388034e-02 7.53484480e-03 2.19703708e-02 9.07231774e-03
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1,286 | 1,287 | What's white and drips from the cloud? The coming of the Lord. | [-2.34519001e-02 4.98569906e-02 6.43130764e-02 5.23194633e-02
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1,287 | 1,288 | BUSINESS IDEA: CinnaBon-Iver. Delicious pastries filled with scarf scraps and broken pieces of wind chimes. | [-6.22016117e-02 4.87958118e-02 1.38578648e-02 -2.26120204e-02
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1,288 | 1,289 | What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships. | [-3.02507896e-02 9.34814662e-02 4.90364693e-02 7.83831775e-02
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1,289 | 1,290 | My girlfriend told me that having a good sense of humour is really important I told her to message the mods at /r/Jokes | [-3.25452313e-02 -7.54446611e-02 3.29918303e-02 -1.92064152e-03
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1,290 | 1,291 | Start with the answer. What's an easy way to ruin a good joke? | [-4.74585444e-02 8.22619721e-02 4.79734689e-02 8.12188387e-02
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1,291 | 1,292 | My life would be a lot easier if when shopping online there was a "Sort by least ugly" option. | [-3.22264135e-02 3.87977250e-02 2.55750529e-02 9.20190439e-02
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1,292 | 1,293 | My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "Wow, that's a pretty big word for a eight year old." | [-7.69156730e-04 7.18220994e-02 2.21533515e-02 2.03796830e-02
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1,293 | 1,294 | Even the best men in the Chinese military Have chinks in their armor | [-5.45750745e-02 1.68638572e-01 1.45362401e-02 2.00399309e-02
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1,294 | 1,295 | What do you call a dumb nerd? A geek. | [-1.80623233e-02 -2.89895684e-02 1.12603419e-02 6.15627645e-03
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1,295 | 1,296 | Confession: I'm the one who's been posting all those idiotic comments on youtube using millions of anonymous accounts. | [-8.71827230e-02 -8.11968818e-02 -1.59599539e-02 6.52583782e-04
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1,296 | 1,297 | Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro? They don't believe in higher power. | [ 9.24651027e-02 -3.55212428e-02 -1.09511474e-02 -5.20899594e-02
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1,297 | 1,298 | [mouse plane] mouse pilot: hello folks, this is your captain squeaking- *mouse passengers squeal with delight* | [ 1.85443945e-02 -2.30623446e-02 8.62643123e-02 -5.59099652e-02
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1,298 | 1,299 | Whats the number one reason for Pedophilia? Sexy children. | [-3.16411778e-02 3.30548510e-02 5.29065207e-02 7.02777654e-02
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1,299 | 1,300 | If a white person eats a dessert and no one is around to Instagram it, did it even happen? | [ 3.55443731e-02 2.35602129e-02 -3.38245626e-03 3.11857332e-02
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1.26306638e-01 -4.41314615e-02 -3.69991511e-02 -5.67230806e-02] |
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