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I'm in an LDR and my gf has been lonely and uncomfortable in her cramped studio apt during COVID lockdown. This woman she goes to grad school with knew that and gave her the key to her place while she's out of town for the summer, but they're not really friends, more like colleagues, and she assumed my gf was only going to stop in from time to time to get some work done in a quiet place. She even asked for a little money to go towards rent, and my gf paid her fifty bucks.
Little does she know, my gf has been sleeping there every night. The place is bigger and nicer than my gf's and she feels safer there because the neighbors don't scream at each other all night. When she first starting going there I thought she was staying at a *friend's* place, but recently she revealed the true situation to me on the phone and then confessed that she also read this woman's diary, which was just sitting right there on her desk. I was shocked; I said it was an invasion of privacy and asked my gf how she would've felt if someone she trusted with her apt key read her diary. She said she wouldn't have cared.
She called me an asshole for judging her, and she later justified the diary thing by saying that she's been so lonely she just needed to see if someone else felt that way. She said I should've taken her side and empathized with her instead of being cold and judgmental, and she's still pissed about it. But I stand by my judgment! Is reading someone's diary just not as bad as I think it is? ###### | NTA and I guarantee your girlfriend WOULD be pissed if someone read her private diary. She's just trying to save face. ###### |
AITA - I ordered takeout, picked up my food, and the resturaunt called as I was pulling into my driveway. The person from the restaurant told me she gave us an extra bag of food and asked me to drive back and drop it off at the restaurant. I told her that I really didn’t want to drive back and drop the food off and she just hung up on my mid sentence.
Am I the asshole?
I know I wouldn’t want food that someone took away from the restaurant and brought back. ###### | NTA And I cannot believe they would take a good bag that had been in your possession and now a different temp and hand it back out again. I’d go so far as to call the health department to find out if that is even allowable. ###### |
I might be the Ah for putting up with it for so long. Anyways, I work for a landscaping company. For the past year, we've been getting paid late, and when we do get paid the checks often bounce. At first we would start getting paid a couple days late, then it went to a week late, and then almost a month late. One of the managers went 2 months without getting paid. One time one if my coworkers asked my boss "are we getting paid today?", and my boss replied "is everyone gonna ask me that..." wtf? To the main story. Last friday, he gives me my check. I got to the bank to cash it on sunday. It bounces. I could have called him, but didnt have the energy to deal with it. Monday comes around. Hes in a good mood, and says "howd everyone's weekend go!" I said "would have gone food if the check you gave me was good" he stared at me, and said "if your check bounces, then you can call me, and I'll take care of it" I snapped. And said "dont act like you didnt know that check wasnt gonna bounce. You knew damn well it would. I'm getting paid a month late. I expect my check not to bounce everytime I want to cash it" he threw his arms in the air, and said "if your not happy with how things are going, then you can quit!", so I got in my truck, and left. He called me when I was half way home, and apologized, and sad I'm a good employee, and he cant lose me. Idk, I love my co workers. That's one of the main reasons I've stayed as long as I have. I could get another job pretty easily, but idk. ###### | NTA and i absolutely would not go back. And make sure you get paid for all the time your boss hasnt paid you for yet ###### |
So I basically (17f) had been diagnosed with ADHD a year ago . I'm pretty school smart but I don't notice many Things around me and I have a problem with sitting or doing the same thing for more then 30 minutes . After I got the diagnosis from my therapist . I wanted to proceed to book other sessions to see what I can do to help minimise the issue . It started affecting my studies . My mother didn't believe me and told me I was doing this for attention and not to tell anyone about it . ( In our culture mental health is a taboo topic ) I wasn't happy about it I tried to retaliate anything . But it was no use and my father whose a doctor tried to convince her but nothing .
So suddenly today she heard one of her friends had a daughter with ADHD so she told her about and proceeded to tell all her colleagues like it's something to flaunt I guess . And now she believes I have it .
I was pretty furious since she had forbidden to go my therapist for almost half a year and continued to call me an attention seeker whenever I braught it up .
The fight was bad I was screaming at the top of my lungs in the end and shut myself in my room . Now she's acting like she's the victim and all she did was try to help .
So reddit AITA ???
Sorry for the grammar mistakes ###### | NTA and honestly, your mother should grow up. At 17, you’re more mature than her and I hope you will be able to get help, maybe through your father. ###### |
Hi, everyone.
So I live with a roommate, and we’re both grad students, so constantly busy. This summer is going to be particularly busy for me, because I have two classes, an intensive German workshop, and am working on both PhD and Fulbright applications. Because of this, I don’t foresee me leaving my desk this summer. My roommate is also taking two classes. The other day, my roommate told me that her boyfriend would be coming up from Florida to visit for 5 days. She also told me that I would need to be gone from the apartment for at least one night so they could have sex, and asked if I could go stay with my boyfriend. I told her no, because I was busy and had class and would feel more comfortable doing my classes and schoolwork at home. She told me I was an asshole, and has gotten her friends and parents to also tell me I’m an asshole.
AITA for telling her no? ###### | NTA and honestly kind of funny that she thinks you should leave so they can have sex. I assume this apartment has walls so thats all the privacy you’re entitled to when you have roommates. ###### |
Some background. My wife’s siblings are incredibly entitled along with her stepdad and sometimes her mother.
Sadly my pug (Otis) passes away last week. My wife and I are pretty torn up. He was an amazing dog who loved just about anyone, who’d give him food. Word soon got around to my In-Laws who at first felt sorry, but then after learning how he died (he had chronic heart problems) were saying we were stupid to trust modern medicine and if an animal is born weak it should die. The final stray was when me and my wife were in a zoom call with my SIL, and she said the following, I can’t believe you guys are hung up over your dumb dog. He was a dumb bitch who deserved to die. I. Saw. Red. I told her to shut the FUCK up and that she needs to stop being such a bitch all the time. It’s been a couple of days and my wife wants me to apologize for causing “drama” in the family. The way I see it is they’re the ones being inconsiderate assholes. So reddit, AITA ###### | NTA and honestly fuck them. Pets are quite often family members too and it sucks to lose them. I think your response was 100% warranted. ###### |
So basically what happened is that last night I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone in a discord call and then he started cuddling his dog, which he's had for a long time. I don't hate his dog or anything and I understand he loves his dog and I'm completely okay with that. But then I was talking to him and he ignored me and was talking to his dog and said "I love you more than *insert my name here*.
I never had a dog, so I can't say that I understand the strong love between a human and an animal, especially one he's had since he was a kid and that his dog is important to him. But since he was already ignoring me it just annoyed me and was uncalled for because there's a lot of times I feel like he doesn't love me at all. He just told me not to leave the call but I left anyway.
about two hours later I call him back and he asks why I left because he didn't remember and I told him. He thought I was being ridiculous because it was just a joke. But he sounded serious and just told me not to leave which tells me he knew exactly what he said would upset me. He then told his mom about how I was upset and she agreed that I was being stupid about getting jealous over a dog and was just being insecure, which honestly embarrassed me. My boyfriend then started calling me crazy, so I left the call again and he texted me saying "there you go being crazy again.
Was I in the wrong here? I feel stupid about it after I got some sleep but I just want to know if I was being an asshole. ###### | NTA and he is so toxic and immature. First he says something pointless just to hurt you, then he pretends not to remember, then he brings his fucking *mom* in to invalidate your feelings. You weren't "jealous of a dog," you were hurt because he intentionally said something to make you feel unloved. Being single is better than being treated like this. ###### |
I pay for my own Hulu account and I let my mom watch tv on it which is fine because that’s my mom. I was at my boyfriends and signed in on my account on the tv in his room, but his sister took the tv into her room and has been using my account. I found out because I was looking at my watch history and there were a bunch of shows I don’t watch on it. I asked my boyfriend and he said she took the tv today. Am I the asshole for removing the tv from my device history? She’s been complaining and texting me to let her use it again. Calling me selfish and how she just wants to watch tv because she’s bored. Mind you she’s 17 with no job and always is asking me for favors. I don’t feel bad but she texted me a long message about how the tv went out while she was in the middle of the show. This happened once before on the downstairs tv and his mom wanted me to sign in for her so she could finish her show because she didn’t want to pay for her own account...I didn’t. I don’t feel like an asshole and my boyfriend said it’s not a big deal, but she keeps bugging me to let her back on. I don’t think I’m selfish or stingy. I work my own job and can afford it. ###### | NTA and good on you for not enabling that behavior. ###### |
This is pretty self-explanatory. I was working out in my living room when I heard something on my back porch knock over. Thinking an animal was getting to some of the vegetables I had in pots out there, I quickly ran outside without thinking to put a shirt on (since I've been working out at home, I don't feel the need to put on a shirt and I'm more comfortable that way).
Found an overturned pot, put it back up, made sure everything was good and went back inside to finish my workout. I wasn't outside for more than five minutes. Well my next-door neighbor saw me out there, and I guess it made him uncomfortable. He complained to my mom, and she told me just to try not to do it again. I still think thats unfair. Even though I usually wear a shirt, its my back yard and I should be comfortable. I'm not walking around the neighborhood or anything. Plus, I'm sure he's taken off his shirt while mowing his lawn or doing yard work. My mom says to just let it go, but I'm pretty pissed about being told what to do in my own yard.
AITA?
ETA: Not that it makes it less creepy, but our yards are only separated by low bushes, so we can both see each others yard pretty clearly ###### | NTA and good for you for standing up for yourself. A sports bra is more covering than a bikini. Thank goodness you haven't taken up sunbathing /s. Do not ever let a man's discomfort with you doing perfectly normal things keep you from doing it and shame on your mom for trying to toe the line in 2020. ###### |
My roommate and I were close friends when we first moved in together a year and a half ago. Not long after we signed our 2nd year lease, the friendship went downhill and a big argument led us to agreeing we would end our friendship but continue living together until the lease was up.
Most of the time we function well as roommates only. Other times, like today, she gets emotional about something or other and picks a fight with me, which usually ends up with me trying to remove myself from the situation and her following me around the house yelling about how no one cares about her feelings, I treat her like shit, she helps everyone out but no one supports her when she needs it, etc.
She doesn't have any friends besides her mom. She was laid off in March and hasn't seen anyone except for me since then. Due to our proximity and years of familiarity, she sometimes slips back into acting like we're friends again, but I would rather we didn't. I know she's very lonely.
The thing is...she's right. I don't care about her feelings. Not anymore. I wish her well in life but she is and always has been an emotionally draining person and I am done being the one that's drained. When she directs her frustration at me, I don't have the capacity to do anything except stare at her blankly until she wears herself out. That's what makes me feel like an asshole. Her social/life situation sucks, but we BOTH agreed to end the friendship and I don't feel it's my responsibility anymore to make her feel better. ###### | NTA and good for you for setting boundaries in your friendships! It’s not an easy thing to do. ###### |
I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to this, but here it goes anyway:
After 20 years of being a content screw-up, I finally decided to better myself and finish college. After earning my bachelor’s, I immediately went to grad school and earned my MBA this May.
Anyway, around the same time I initially decided to go back to school, my bro-in-law also decided to go back. He decided to pursue an associate’s degree in a trade.
Seeing as how he wasn’t working while he was going to school, he finished in two years. However, I was working full-time so it took me 7 years to finish both my bachelor’s and my MBA (I had finished most of my generals my first go-around 20 years earlier). I only say this because he would always make comments about how I’m ‘sure taking my time’ and how he finished way before me.
My family had a little celebration for me a few weeks ago and he kept making comments about how I’m finally his equal (emphasis on finally) and joined the ranks as a college graduate.
I didn’t say anything (nor would I) because I don’t want to diminish his accomplishment. At the same time, I can’t help but feel annoyed that he doesn’t seem to get that I had to put in a lot more work to get my degrees.
I guess it bothers me that I feel this way. After all, to him, his associate’s degree is a huge deal (and it is).
So, AIT(elitist)A?
TLDR: My bro-in-law keeps equating his associate’s degree to my master’s, and it bothers me. ###### | NTA and good for you for not bothering to push back or try to put him down. Take the high road and let his insecurity/self-ego-boost go unchallenged for the sake of family harmony.
Well-done on earning two degrees while working full time, that’s a commitment and a lot of work. Wishing you both success in your fields! ###### |
Okay, so I (15F) know the title sounds misleading, but please read through the whole post.
My aunt (we'll call her Sarah, 54F) is a very sweet person. She's been a "cool aunt", the one who gives us candy while we were kids, etc.
But as we grew up we kinda saw all her toxic traits, like holding children to unexpectable levels, bossing us around, being a bit racist (she wants my sister, who is a gorgeous brown black colour to put on a lot of whitening things, doesn't want anyone in our family to marry a guy/girl who is black, etc.)
So during quarantine, around the beginning of summer, we found that she had a non malignant tumor in her small intestine, and she underwent surgery in the area where I'm staying. She normally stays in another state, but now stays with us for some time.
Now, there's a kinda miraculous thing: there was no tumor, just a growth, which they scraped out, but now she's resting at home.
Now, most of the time I like having her around, and I love her, but she's bossing me around, making me clean every place, over feeding me (actually overfeeding me) and that was all kinds okay, but the last straw was when she would keep calling me to clean, to study (it's summer vacation) and when I complained of back pain (I'm having my periods) she completely brushed me off, saying little kids don't have anything like that, I'm [Sarah] the one who has pain, etc.
I felt really bad because she was invalidating my pain.
So I told her that even teenagers feel pain and things like that. I was actually yelling, and then my mom screamed at me because she says that Sarah is a patient and things like that. I don't really feel terrible, because each and every second of the first two months of summer were spent in taking care of Sarah and my dad (who's diabetic and has trunkal neuropathy.) I just feel like I don't get a second to myself. Also, I cook the meals along with my sister here.
AITA? ###### | NTA and from what you’ve described it sounds like the adults in your home need to start acting like adults ###### |
So a month ago my husband and I moved into our current house that we are renting from this guy. He also lives with us in the third bedroom. This was supposed to be a short term thing but because of obvious reasons we don't know how long we're going to be here. Neither of us has had a roommate before, we were both the first person we lived with other than family.
Anyway this morning I woke up earlier than usual so I made my husband and I breakfast. I made us eggs with toast. I used a total of 6 eggs and 2 pieces of bread. Our roommate came downstairs just as I was putting it on the table and was about to get my husband, and asked why he wasn't getting any. I was kind of surprised because I don't know why he would expect any. But he then got mad and said that he's paying for 1/3 of the groceries so he should be kept in mind if we're making something. The past month my husband and I have just been eating small stuff for lunch and dinner, no big cooking of meals or anything, mostly sandwiches and whatever we can scrounge up so it just hadn't come up yet.
I told him that I didn't make him any and if he wanted eggs there were more and he could make some himself. He said he should get some of what I made because he's paying for it and I should keep him in mind. I told him that what I used isn't more than 2/3 of what we had so it doesn't matter and I'm not going to cook a meal for him, I was just doing something nice for my husband. He said he was going to have to rethink our payment agreement for groceries.
Neither of us have ever had a roommate before as I said, so we don't know whether this guy is just strange or if I was really supposed to make him eggs.
AITA ###### | NTA and don’t share groceries with a roommate that’s a recipe for discord. ###### |
Aita for not wanting to live with my “dad”
Sorry for bad formatting
For some background: my mom left my dad when she was pregnant with my brother and i was 1 years old for many reasons. My dad has never been a caring father and i barely know him. He has been abusi ve in the past but not as bad as other kids but still physical ab use. He has a wife and a stepson (13) and two infants. Im 15 and im always blamed when they do anything bad or anything bad happens to my stepbro and biological brother (14)which sucks since they bully me and if i say anything to him about them im a “whiny snitch”.
I have lived with my mom and younger brother all my life but somehow my dad got custody of me for a school year. I was forced to move to a new town and get new friends which is very hard for me and i ended up just being lonely. And finally this school year ended and i just moved back. My dad never respects my decisions or anything like that. He always trusts fake news and took away my electronic so i wouldnt be a school shooter. When i broke my leg he took away my crutches so i had to jump on one leg for a whole weekend. The only reason i had ever went to his house in the past is because legally they have 50/50 custody.
My grandma asked me if i have enjoyed spending more time with my dad but i was honest and told her no and he isnt even spending time with me i just live there. I woke up to angry text messages from my dad and aunt. My friends tell me that he is my father and that family is family aita? ###### | NTA and don’t believe that “family is family” crap. If people hurt you, you shouldn’t be forced to be around them. If you really don’t want to be around your father, ask your grandma or mother to put you in touch with their attorney. Any decent judge that hears the story with the crutches won’t make you go back there. ###### |
I have a friend who has owed me $2,300 since mid March. Her dog needed emergency surgery, I put it on a credit card since he needed immediate treatment. I am not wealthy and it's a lot of money to me. Things have been tough for her financially and personally lately, so I haven't mentioned it. She just kicked out her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, so she's in a very fragile place.
However, she just got all of her backpay unemployment (finally.) I didn't ask the exact number, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around 15k. She's gone on a crazy shopping spree and bought a MacBook, Camera, etc. She's been wanting to start a YouTube channel for a while, and I'm happy she's finally doing it. She needs a hobby.
She hasn't mentioned paying me back yet, and I hate to bring it up. I know she is already having a difficult enough time, and she is a good friend that I don't want to make her life worse, but I have been stressing over this debt for months.
WIBTA If I told her I need to be paid back now? ###### | NTA and do it before she squanders the rest of the money. And think twice about loaning money in the future. Maybe say something like “hey I notice you have gotten your back pay. Let’s work out a repayment plan now for the money I loaned you” ###### |
My girlfriend (27 y/o) and I (30 y/o) have been dating for about 2 years now. We agreed that we would live together after one year of meeting each other and getting to know one another. When we moved in, we brought some of our valuables. She brought her favorite painting from college and a signed volleyball from all her teammates back in college. I brought my mom's vase and my grandma's urn. I respected her stuff and she respected my stuff. I put my grandma's urn in a nice place to show that every time I pass it I pay respect to what she has done for me in the past.
Fast forward to yesterday. She went out with a couple of her friends and she came back a little too drunk. She started to talk to me about why my grandma was "in a vase" and not in the cemetery. I told her that I wanted to spread her ashes at Nadi (beach in Fiji) because that is where she had her honeymoon with my grandfather. So my girlfriend, not thinking at all, said "Oh, she wants to be at the ocean does she?" and took the urn and tired to pour the ashes into the toilet.
I don't want to share my emotions because it was such a shitty 15 seconds but I felt immense rage and anger. I screamed at her to get out and don't speak to me for a bit. She quickly packed up her suitcase and I showed her the door.
Things to add: I pay 3/4s of the rent, and I do half of the house work around (cleaning dishes, vacuuming, laundry). I do love my girlfriend but what she did to my grandma's urn/ashes was very upsetting to me. ###### | NTA and did she succeed in putting them in the toilet? Please say no. ###### |
Please excuse me for my English.
I am 13 year Male and I moved from my home country of south Korea to Canada when I was 11. It is almost 2 years since I have moved. My English isnt the best but it is getting very better. My name is Jaehyeong it is a very hard name for native English people to pronouns because of that they almost always get it wrong and I correct them. Normally when I correct them I just repeat my name instead of saying that not my name. I feel this is easier since it maybe would make people mad. I let a select people call me jae but I just find it disrespecting to call someone you arent close to a shorten name. we had a different teacher on the online classes and when he called my name it was so miss pronouns I didnt hear it correctly one of my friends had to say something to me to tell me that this man called my name. So I said here and the teacher said I am going to call you jae form now on. I said can you please learn. My name instead and he didnt say anything. When he then called on me again he mis pronouns it again so I didnt know he called on me. It is still hard for me to keep track of everything in calls. So once i answered the question he said he is going to call me jae because he cant pronouns my name and I cant understand his miss pronunciation. I agreed. After the class I got my grade and it said I got 10 points taken off of professional because of my ask for him to say my full name and then not answering to it. Am I the asshole ###### | NTA and contact the department head. You have a right to ask to not be called a random nickname assigned by the teacher. ###### |
Some background: FIL is a man who doesn't get along with his wife and children. He barks and snaps at everyone but is cordial to me and eats out of my daughter's hand.
During this stay home period, MIL started cleaning out stuff that's been sitting around the house. Yesterday she found in a seldom-used drawer, a wooden box with a handkerchief wrapped around a picture of FIL in his younger times and my daughter's recent picture he cut out from her year book.
When she asked him about it, he threw a fit and said she had no right to defile pictures of people he loved most. An upset MIL called and told me about it.
He has 3 grandsons and 3 granddaughters. While I'm happy he dotes on my daughter most, I found this really creepy and said this to hubby. Hubby is now upset that I think his dad is creepy and his childless sister sides with him, while the other sister who has 3 kids thinks FIL is crazy.
So am I TA for reading too much into his 'innocent' action? ###### | NTA and be careful with your daughter. It’s a huge red flag that all the mother in your family think it’s weird. Trust your gut instinct! ###### |
I 16(M) was playing video games with friends, one of the people who plays with us regularly is a my friends girlfriend 16(f). She does not like me and has made it clear in the past. I try to put it aside while we all hang out just so it stays civil. Well last night everybody was talking about relationship problems. The two people dating in the group gave advice. Mine was struggling to even find a person who I had a chance with. As soon as the words left my mouth, she snickered and brought up how I'm short and that's why. At first I thought she was joking and shrugged it off but after she kept drilling it in. Finally I had enough and brought up how she didn't have a boyfriend until a year ago because she refused to lose weight. After that everyone went quiet. Soon everyone started laying into me and she started crying. I tried to apologize because I didn't mean to hurt her that bad, but I got drowned out under every one yelling at me. I know I probably am the asshole but I just wanted to hear someone outside the situations opinion. ###### | NTA and all those white knights in your ‘friendship’ group ganging up on you after as well need to go take a leap. You need better friends. ###### |
So as this isn’t a relationships subreddit I’ll keep this part brief, I’m specifically asking whether I’m the asshole for ‘blackmailing’ (her words) or ‘giving an ultimatum’ (my words) to my friend.
She lost her job and made an onlyfans. Her fiancé doesn’t know. She knows he would consider that cheating and her fiancé is a very close friend of mine and I know it would destroy him.
My friend has not been discreet about this and is telling all of our friends for the clout because she’s got a lot of ‘yaaassss girl you get that coin’ sort of messages to the few people she opened up to and now word has spread and *guys we mutually know including her fiancé* are aware and paying for her content.
I told her she needs to tell him or I will. She considers this blackmail. I’m trying to protect my friend who I know is a very good person and who would be devastated.
My own best friend has told me to stay out of all of this and to mind my business. My best friend doesn’t know these people at all so she is not invested emotionally. I am autistic and think it’s very clear I need to tell my friends fiancé but she is saying that if my friend lost her job she needs to do what she needs to do to survive. ###### | NTA and all these people saying Y T A because “you need to mind your own business” need to realize that she’s made it your business when she decided to flaunt it to everyone but her fiancé. He’s your friend just as much as she is, and if I was him I’d feel seriously betrayed by not only her but also my “friends” for not telling me. He’s going to need people in his corner when he finds out - and he WILL find out - so be that person for him. You’re gonna be TA in her eyes but she’s not a friend to you for asking you to keep this a secret in the first place. ###### |
This morning, my mom asked for 500 (I am not going to state the currency, because I want to stay anonymous). I was happy to give it to her, but I only had 1000. I gave her that amount and asked when she was going to give it back. "I don't know." That seemed like a red flag to me.
But then I realized I had a 500 bill in my wallet, so I said I had the amout she wanted and I was willing to give it to her. Suddenly, she didn't want it anymore and said that it was not enough. Like, what? That's the amount you initially asked for!! Then she got very defensive and insisted on the 1000. I found that extremely sketchy so I told her that I wasn't going to give her any money. Am I the asshole for not giving her the money? ###### | Nta and absolutely do not give her any money unless you fully expect not to ever give it back, because she won’t ###### |
I’ll try to keep it short.
My (27F) brother (38M) is currently living in a different part of the state than the rest of his family (Wife and 2 kids). He called me the other day to tell me he’s interested in buying a house. I felt it coming that he would ask but I really didn’t expect the guilt trip.
He was approved for a loan of 150k but he would have to move further away to be able to afford a house in that range. He wants me to co-sign on a house and receive a loan in MY name for another 150k so he could buy a house closer to the family.
I’m not all that close with my family to begin with so that factor doesn’t really affect me. However, our kids are close in age and were close before the initial move so he said it would be in the best interest of them and the family to have him move closer.
My mom is 25k in debt, my father has a foreclosure on his record, and my brother declared bankruptcy a few years back. Everyone has some kind of huge negative record which is prohibiting them from assisting my brother, im the only one with a somewhat clean record. I do have some debt but not nearly as much as the rest of my family. I’ve already told him based on my income and credit I don’t think I would qualify but he’s a real estate agent so he sucked me into believing maybe I could.
My issue is I’m a single mom who is only now finding herself in the beginnings of financial stability. The idea of 150k being under my name towards a house I won’t even use is making me nauseous. I’ve always struggled with telling my family no and I know the wave of guilt is going to engulf me eventually. I don’t want the kids to be split but I also don’t want to risk my financial future. Tell me reddit, would I be an asshole in telling him absolutely not?
TL;DR: my brother wants me to co-sign 150k towards a house I wouldn’t even live in for the sake of the family. ###### | NTA and a huge fuck that! There's no way you could even be CONSIDERED TA in this situation, and please for the sake of your own financial future do not co-sign anything for him, either. He's already got a bankruptcy under his belt, there's no way this is going to end well for you. ###### |
I (28F) will be getting married this July. We were going to have a large standard wedding but due to recent events, that celebration has been postponed and we will be having a very small family celebration instead.
My brother Steve (27M) has had a revolving door of girlfriends for most of his life, with the average relationship length lasting around 2 months. He is currently dating a very sweet girl (that we've only met via Zoom) and they've been together for around 3 months, since recent events started.
He's asked to invite her to the wedding and I and my fiance have no problem with that and would love to have her. The issue is, on the chance that they end up not lasting, I would prefer if all my wedding photos did not include her. Obviously, we'll have some with my fiance's family that would omit her, but I would like some shots with my family that didn't have her in them just in case.
WIBTA if I asked to take family pictures with and without her? Should I exclude her from all of them? ###### | NTA always do some with and without non-married/common law partners. I believe most people would understand. ###### |
So for context, I (20M) came out as gay to my parents in February last year. My mum was very accepting and kind but my stepdad was very much not so. He hates everyone that isn't straight and white, so me coming out as gay made me a disappointment in his eyes.
Fast forward a couple of months and my mum wanted to meet my boyfriend (now ex) so I did the ~300 mile round trip to drive me and my bf to meet my parents. My stepdad decided to send me a list of instructions on how to behave, which in short was basically "no PDA and no signs at all you're dating", which really hurt but we went along with it.
My mental health declined sharply over the next 7-8 months as everything for me went wrong. I broke up with my bf, got hit in a car crash and couldn't take the stress from work anymore. To say the least, my stepdad was not happy about me moving back in after losing my job and being unable to live in another town.
My mental health is improving now, but my relationship with my stepdad is heavily stained. We barely talk and I avoid him as much as I can.
Anyway, on topic - since I'm now living with my parents again I've been forced to spend time with my stepdad, much to both of our annoyance. Since I know he's a massive homophobe and hates me for it I decided to add some colour to my room. I have pinned up a 4×2 ft pride flag on my wall and replaced the strings on my guitar with multi-coloured ones. To say the least, he hates it. He has gotten worse with not just me but my mum and brother. Him and my mum have gotten into arguments over his disapproval of my sexuality and I hate that they are getting into arguments over me.
My mum has said that it was bad of me to put this stuff up as I knew it would annoy him, especially as he has gotten worse for everyone and I am refusing to remove the pride stuff from my room.
Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA Although it's not your home, so if your mum insists, you will have to remove things. But she should stick by you, not the asshole bigot who is hurting her and her kids. ###### |
There’s this girl I know who is moving apartments; however, there is a 4 day difference between the end of her current lease and the start of her new one.
She said she was looking for a place to stay (I think money is tight so a hotel is not ideal), so I offered to let her spend those nights at my apartment on my sofa. She said no and that it was fine. Over the next few days she kept bringing up her problem again so I kept offering in total, I offered ~5 times. The last time, I specifically told her that would be the final offer and of she said no and later changed her mind, I’d say no.
Well now she’s gone and changed her mind and is asking again. It really isn’t an inconvenience for me, but I continually offered it to her, and she rejected knowing full well that I would say know if she asked. So I told her no.
I mentioned this to a friend of mine who says I’m being an asshole.
So uh AITA? I guess if I am then I’ll offer it again... ###### | NTA altho not gonn lie, based on the title I thought it'd be something completely different lol ###### |
Since my wife and I are both doctors we still have to work and to avoid anything happening, our kids are staying with my mother in law except for our oldest daughter whose staying with a friend. We're friends with the parents and they asked for her to stay since their daughter is an only child i
and gets bored on her own.
On Wednesday my daughter called and asked if she could get a tatoo (her friend has the machine). I didn't feel comfortable with this so I told her no but she can possibly get one for her birthday in a few months. She surprisingly was fine with it and was still in a good mood. I found it suspicious but didn't want to cause problems where there weren't any.
Today while I'm talking to my son he mentions that he also wants a tatoo like his sister's but a dragon. I obviously ask what he's talking about and he tells me that she posted a picture of herself with a shoulder tatoo on her story. He sent me a screeenshot of it and I was livid. I tried calling her but only got voicemail so I called the parents and spoke to them. They thought I said yes when she called. They gave her the phone and while I was talking she hung up. I called them again and asked them to take her phone away indefinitely. They understood and agreed.
My brother says she's angry at me for 'embarrassing' her in front of her friend. My wife agrees with me but another perspective is always appreciated. AITA? ###### | Nta also who tattoos a kid without talking to the parent first?? ###### |
My mom (55F) has been slowly starting to pry at me (25F) about when I’m planning on having kids, how many, and if I plan on marrying my on and off again boyfriend. It’s annoying but I just ignore her or tell her to drop it most days. I’m not even done with college, I don’t feel like I’m even old enough for that. Ive never been interested in kids or marriage either and she knows this!!
For context, my older brother has two kids with his girlfriend. So now she’s looking at me the middle child for her next grand baby. She’s even gone so far as calling me by my boyfriends last name, knowing full well I don’t believe in that and do not plan on ever changing my name.
It came to a head last week when I was visiting. Everything was normal and then she just says “so when do you plan on settling down. You aren’t getting any younger.” And I LOST it. I just screamed “mind your own god damn business.” My dad yelled at me, I yelled at him, then my older brother yelled at me. It was a mess.
My friend picked me up and when I told her what happened she said I was the asshole for yelling at my mom when she’s asking normal “mom things.” Both my brothers think I was an asshole but my boyfriend doesn’t. My mom hasn’t called or texted since this happened. ###### | NTA after reading the edit. Your mom is being TA majorly by not respecting what you are telling her. She thinks that if she keeps bugging you about what she wants you to do, that you'll cave eventually so that she can get what she wants out of it. ###### |
My grandpa is old and need constant care and my family (mom, dad, sister and brother) are over to help him out, also my cousin's family is here (aunt, uncle and cousin). We don't live there but we kind of do right now, my grandpa has a pool in his backyard and I LOVE to swim. I do competitive swimming so I am a very good swimmer and I am almost always in the pool and swimming around or near the pool or just in the back yard.
I lost track of time and while I was swimming it was time for dinner (he eats around 5 and likes he whole family at the table). I was still swimming and so I put on a quick hoodie and a pair of sweats and ate dinner. I didn't notice but the bikini straps were showing and I had no idea after dinner.
Me and my sister share a room right now and she said that my straps were showing, I was embarrassed but didn't really see anything too wrong. She got annoyed and said I should dress more "modestly" in front of the rest of the family, I told her to calm down and it was a mistake. She said that its still bad and I should be more mindful of the rest of the family. AITA? ###### | NTA a) you were covered up for dinner so idk how that could be seen as not dressing modestly b) they probably didn’t notice anything and c) even if they had seen something that is also completely fine because this isn’t the 16th century ###### |
Over the last couple weeks, I’ve seen chalk drawings pop up on the sidewalks. Nothing wrong with that and some of the “art” is encouraging like little “obstical courses”.
However. This afternoon I came outside to see someone drew a huge cross in chalk on my driveway along with #HeIsRisen and Happy Easter. I took out my hose and washed the away the chalk drawing and then took my dog for a walk.
When I came back, as I was walking up my driveway, one of my neighbours came out and said “excuse me, is there a reason you ruined my daughters drawing?” I clarified wether or not she was talking about the chalk drawing on my driveway and she said yes and that she daughter spent almost an hour on the drawing and was just trying to spread positivity and celebrate Jesus.
I said that I was sorry that I upset her daughter but that it was my driveway and I didn’t agree to have someone draw on it especially when it was a religious holiday I Don’t celebrate (I’m Jewish but don’t consider myself religious).
She then went off an started calling me things like “anti religious, a miserable asshole and a horrible person.” I tried to tell her to calm down and stop verbally assaulting me. She then told me that I will regret washing away her daughters picture, flipped me off and walked away.”
was I the asshole here for washing away the chalk?
Edit: just found out she has two daughters 13-15 so neither of them are “little” girls. ###### | NTA a lot of Christians like to forget that not everyone practices their faith, or wants to be exposed to it (freedom of religion also means freedom from religion) if she wants to draw religious iconography she can do so on her own property, not yours. ###### |
I have grown a peach tree from seed. A lot of care and planning had gone into this tree, from genetic planning to training and now I have gotten my first harvest(6lbs of fruit- dwarf tree)
A few days after harvest, my mother asked me when I’m going to distribute some along the neighbourhood to which I said I wasn’t planning on doing so. She says that’s mean as people have noticed the tree and are expecting something and I said yea well tough luck.
I intend on eating a good chunk of it myself fresh and then preserving the rest by pickling them with honey.
Note: all care towards this tree was performed by me alone and it’s on MY private property and not a communal area. ###### | NTA 6 lbs of fruit is what maybe 20 peaches? If you just give one to each person on the street that’s most of your fruit. That’s nuts that your mom expects you to distribute peaches like some sort of peach fairy. They sell peaches in the store. Your neighbors can go buy some ###### |
Throwaway
I am a 55 year old man and my wife is 56. My wife recently got a job in it building I worked at for the past 5 years. I make more than my wife for the same job and I am in a hire position than her and I work longer hours than my wife. My wife thinks that it's sexist that I get payed more than her for the same job and asked me to quit or complain about the sexist pay.
I refused and told her if I quit my job we won't be able to afford the house and we would be homeless and that we won't be able to get grocery plus I told my wife that I have years more experience than her. My wife yelled at me saying it's sexist and asked me if I am supporting sexism in the work place.
I told her no I am not but I am not quitting my job. My wife became furious and left and is not talking to me.I feel that my wife is right and I am the asshole hear. So I want to know if I am the bad guy who supports sexism ###### | NTA 5 more years of experience in the same job should amount to a higher pay.
You could work with your wife help her attain the same pay as you over time. ###### |
So, I (17M) was just relaxing at home with my little brother (11) and my mother’s girlfriend’s son (7). My mom and her girlfriend left the house without any warning and didn’t tell me or the two little ones where they were going. This is pretty normal, they usually will come back with grocery’s or tell me they went to go run some errands when they get back.
I had ordered lunch for pickup and when it was ready I left the two children to go grab my lunch. I told them I’d be right back and where I was going, and also told them to call me if something went wrong and if something REALLY serious went wrong, call 911 first and not me.
When I got back home with my food, the car my mom and her girlfriend took for the day was in the driveway. I walked in the door and immediately started getting questioned by my mom’s girlfriend about why I left the kids there. My mom was fine with it, my little brother has stayed home alone for short periods of time before and it’s not a problem. My mom’s girlfriend was upset because her son is only 7 and something really bad could’ve happened.
I told her that her child isn’t my responsibility, especially when she hasn’t notified me or even asked me to watch after him while she was gone, and that she should find a babysitter if she’s that worried about me leaving for 5 minutes.
So, am I the asshole for leaving her son alone without proper supervision or is she just being irresponsible by leaving her child with me without telling me? ###### | NTA 11 is old enough to watch a 7 year old for a short period of time. Also, not your kid, not your responsibility, especially if she didn't ask. ###### |
little backstory here: I (28F) have a little sister (14F) who we'll call Lily, who is extremely afraid of dogs. Her dog phobia happens only with big dogs, after a Rottweiler knocked her to the ground when she was 10. Also, my sister is living with me as my parents have gone abroad, and we both are extremely close. We live in a big house which can easily accommodate 3 people.
This happened a week ago.
My aunt was going through a messy divorce, so she moved in with me, and asked me if she could bring her dog with her. Now, this dog is extremely large, and tends to get overexcited with children, and taking in account Lily's fear of dogs, I refused.
At first my aunt took it well, and gave the dog to my cousin (her daughter), who lives 3 hours away and says she'll look after it. So a week ago, my aunt asks me if she can bring the dog for visits outside our house. I agree, as long it's in the backyard, and the dog is on a leash. I reminded her not to let him inside the house. Lily agreed, and said that she has no problem as long as the dog does not come close to her.
My aunt brought the dog over, and Lily just stayed inside. I played with the dog a bit, and then I went to the kitchen to cook dinner. Suddenly I hear Lily screaming at the top of her lungs, and I go to the living room. She's climbed on top of the sofa, and the dog is at the bottom of it, barking at her. My aunt is telling Lily to come down and it's just a silly fear, the dog won't hurt you, etc. I was furious. I immediately took the dog outside, and screamed at my aunt for what she had just done. I kicked her out, and now she's staying with her daughter.
My mom called me yesterday and told me that I had no authority to do that. I told her I did, and that any sane person would do the same thing. My cousins all called me and told me that I did a heartless thing, that my aunt's daughter doesn't have space for my aunt, and that she needs a home.
I don't feel like I'm the asshole.
So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA 100% Your aunt knew how your sister reacts to dogs and AGREED to not let her dog inside. Then she broke that promise.
Also, no it's not a silly fear and wtf ###### |
It's another day at my gym where I work out everyday, The customer service there is excellent the atmosphere is really good and even the drinks don't disappoint even though I carry water with me all the time.
However there was this incident that started on February, it carried on for 3 exhausting days. You can get your own personal trainer you obviously know what that means you can also receive a massage from him if you wish to pay. He massaged me for several sessions and I became close pals with him however one guy took a photo out of context as he was passing by the locker rooms (because that's where the massage takes place) Took a photo where I wasn't wearing a bra and the personal trainer was looking away. I didn't notice the photo being taken as I was looking the other way
He then tried to frame it as "She flashed her breasts at him that's a harassment" The photo was blurry so the managers believed he was pulling it out of his ass. The manager then came up to me the other day told me about it I audibly gasped, the dude who framed it was at the gym at the time and I went up to his face and almost had a breakdown on him. we shortly got seperated and I filled a report at him for being unprofessional and that he harassed me.
He got banned from ever having a subscription to that gym ever again, the managers asked other women about this and if he tried to frame them as well but they explained that it didn't happen but his behavior was off-putting compared to other guys, he wasn't sociable sometimes glanced at a few asses but he wasn't "Alarming" according to their experience
I thought about it day after day, we even joke about it now, but AITA from getting him banned in the first place, could he actually saw it as a coincidence or did he had a gripe with Women.
Also I'm just friends with the masseuse for now, I'm single and 30 years old. (He's 32) ###### | NTA 100% He was gross and I'd feel very unsafe if he was at my gym. What's stopping him from 'accidentaly' peeking inside the womens locker room? You did the right thing! ###### |
I (M16) really don't like kids and they usually don't like me. I don't have any experience with them and I think in general it's better if I'm just not around them. I always make this clear.
My sister (F24) has two kids (F4 and M6). Yesterday she wanted to go do some activity with her friends so she stopped by my house (I was home alone) and asked if she could leave them. I said absolutely not because I had homework and didn't want to spend my afternoon taking care of two little kids. After some arguing back and forth she said that she was just leaving them, and I said I would in no way watch them besides making sure they didn't die.
She eventually just drove off because she was going to be late and left them there with me. I kept my promise and I did nothing with them. I just did what I wanted to while I watched them.
All I did was play video games and listen to some music (100 gecs) that happened to be fairly explicit. I thought that was that and eventually my sister came and got her kids.
However today I got an angry call from my sister. Apparently the kids have been repeating some of the explicit lines from the music I was listening to. My sister was pissed off and asked for an apology but I refused. She then talked to my parents and they've grounded me and told me I was an asshole to let kids listen to that kind of music. AITA? ###### | NTA 100 Gecs slap. ###### |
The wife has a strong passion for cooking. She cooks every night, with the exception of Friday where we go out to eat (or order in right now because of the current situation)
We have two daughters, who are 13 and 17. Usually as a family we clear the table, put the dishes in the sink, put leftovers in the Tubberware, and wipe down any spills or messes. The girls tend to make a mess at dinner so it teaches them responsibility, and me and my wife can’t do it all by ourselves.
Last night, wifey made lasagna with garlic bread and some Italian salad. She rarely cooks lasagna since it is a mess to clean up. Anyways we finish dinner, and the girls disappear out of nowhere and head to their rooms, which left me and the wife to clean up everything.
My wife was particularly upset because she had spent to much time cooking (she could have made one of those Stouffer’s frozen lasagnas and a bagged salad kit) and was tired and had to do twice the work we would usually do.
So tonight we decided to put our daughters to work and cook dinner for everyone. We printed out instructions for them, my 17 year old was handling the stovetop and the 13 year old handled the oven. They had no help whatsoever (except for small tips here and there)
As we were eating, they seemed cold and didn’t want to talk to us. The 13 year old thinks we overreacted and “her friends never have to help clean the table” We were originally planning to make the girls clean the table by themselves but felt bad and cleaned it as a family.
I honestly feel bad now, maybe we should have just made them clear the table by themselves instead of having them cook, put my wife thinks I was fair since the girls now know how much effort their mom puts into cooking and how tedious it is. ###### | NTA “my friends parents never make them cook” well you’re not their friends parents are you?? Oh god... I’ve become old... ###### |
I have been living with my roomate for 6 months and shes asian, I'm not. I have one spoon that I got from a Asian market (it's the Japanese style deep spoon for soup). I freaken LOVE soup and use that spoon all the time, I've had it for a good year now and I have just the one. My roomate has been using my spoon nonstop for herself and NEVER cleans it. I dont mind sharing but shes starting to use it more often now since we have been stuck inside, I've been making a lot of miso soup and she keeps taking the spoon. I brought it up a couple days ago that its my spoon and I should be able to have first choice to use it when I make soups. She got kinda mad about it and told me that I shouldn't even be using that spoon because I'm not asian ??? Like I didn't know that I had to be asian to use a certain type of silverware. I told her that I would be happy to buy her one so she could stop using mine and this made her more upset for some reason. The conversation went along the lines of "it's my spoon, you never clean it , we have plenty of other spoons!" I let her use my spoon that night but after whe went to bed, I washed it and put the spoon in my room. The next day she was looking for it and asked me where it was and I told her I put it away so she cant use it anymore. She called me a asshole and hasn't talked to me since. So AITA?
TLDR: My roomate kept using my soup spoon and would hardly let me use it and never cleaned it so I hid it in my room, AITA? ###### | NTA — your roommate can buy her own soup spoon ###### |
I had this friend (I’ll call her Ellie) and for the last months or so if our friendship she was very open to me about her concerns about her mental health. I am no expert and I told her that, but I always gave her places and recourses that would help her more than I could (I obviously would help in any way I could)
One night I get a message from her, and she is freaking out, full blown panic. She messages me vague things such as ‘I don’t know why I’ve done this’ and ‘this is your fault’ and then she says ‘I’ve slit my wrists’. I’m in complete shock, I’m frantically messaging her saying apply pressure. She goes quiet for a couple minutes. I’m panicking. I’m telling my dad I don’t know what to do.
I get a photo sent to me from her of her wrists. They don’t look cut, it looks like she used a pencil to draw on her arm. I didn’t want to be insensitive and I assumed I seen the photo wrong so I just replied; ‘get help and apply pressure’. She replies ‘ahah you’re so fucking stupid, it’s pencil marks, I wouldn’t cut myself’.
The next day we were all going out with friends and I told her how it made me feel, helpless and panicked. She laughed in my face and said I don’t care.
I’ve not messaged her in a while, and our mutual friends think I over reacted. Did I? ###### | NTA — thats not something to joke about. She needs help. ###### |
Hey folks, so I'm at a fork in the road here and have to make a decision. \[Re-phrasing some things so this post doesn't get removed again\]
My brother is in his mid-30s and recently applied to become a police officer. I'm not going to say where since this would be a dead give-away of who I am. When he first told my family and I that he was applying to become a police officer, we were skeptical, but I didn't think anything of it, assuming he'd never make it past the initial testing phase. He has extreme anger issues (he has been in court a few times but my father has paid lawyers to get these incidences expunged from his record), he still lives with my mom, and has addiction issues. His current job has nothing to do with law enforcement either. To my utter shock, he's somehow made it to the final phase before he's admitted to the academy, which is background checks/character references. I have no idea why he put me down as someone to provide him a character reference since we've never had a good relationship. But I recently received an email from the police department asking me to fill out a character reference for him.
I absolutely do not feel comfortable with the idea of him being in a position of power within the community for obvious reasons. That being said, I am the godparent to his only child (who I love and adore) and my brother's current job is not exactly a career that will give his child a great life. I fully support my brother's ambition to have a better career, I'm just not sure if he's the best fit for law enforcement.
WIBTA if I was truthful on the reference form and potentially ruin my relationship with both him and subsequently my godchild? Should I just not fill out the form at all and hope for the best? Or should I withhold certain details for the sake of their future? ###### | NTA — police with anger issues can kill.
You’re doing the right thing. ###### |
I ordered some food from UberEats and receive a message stating that it should be delivered in no later than 30 minutes. Sounds good.
I leave a note stating that I would prefer to have the food left in front of my door. I live in an apartment complex, and not all couriers are familiar with the layout, so I include instructions detailing how to find my building and unit.
30 minutes go by and I receive a message stating that my food was delivered. I check outside my door and notice that it isn't there. I investigate further and eventually find out that it was left on the front porch of the leasing office, which was closed and unoccupied at the time.
I ended up having to drive a few minutes out in the rain to obtain my food, which could have easily been stolen by an animal or other person within that timeframe.
Given that I left specific instructions detailing how to find my apartment and there were no attempts by the courier to contact me and confirm that they left the food in the right location, I got frustrated with his failure to pay attention to detail and follow instructions and decided to leave the courier a 1-star review and no tip.
In my mind, tips should only be awarded for good or better service and no one is entitled to them.
AITA here? ###### | NTA — following directions and instructions is part of the job description ###### |
I recently saw a post on fb about a friend who made a face mask that said “I can’t breathe” and her caption said “I love making these they’re so much fun” AITA for wanting to say something? She gets upset if ppl try to copyright her for some stickers she does but she makes bootleg clothes and now “I can’t breathe” masks in all honesty I wouldn’t profit off a movement or someone’s dying words. If I were to make these I would donate them to protestors. Should I just leave it or be the asshole and say something ###### | NTA
You have a very valid reason to say something. No one should be taking Floyd's last words in a manner like that. You're right, she is trying to profit off of a movement. In all honesty between the COVID hysteria and now this, I'm done with people rn. You should at least stand up for it because to me she's contributing to more escalation. GFY for actually using common sense. ###### |
I (31F) live with my husband (28M) for now. Back in December we visited his family for Christmas. Our twins were 1yo. I found them in an unsafe sleeping situation. They were in an indoor dog gate with pillows and a very fluffy blanket. I told him I didn't feel comfortable with that and he asked if I had to be such a "Fucking cunt". I told his grandmother why I was leaving and walked back to his mom's house.
We agreed on a divorce and finally I saved enough money for an apartment. His mom decided to come and visit for the holiday (she lives two states away) so I stayed in order for her to see her grandchildren. After their nap their dad wants to take them to his Aunt's/Uncle's. I just found out I'm no longer allowed in their house. They've never babysat and even got mad at me when I refused to let them in the delivery room.
I told him I'm not leaving my kids for the holiday and he accused me of being spiteful and unamerican (I'm American but grew up overseas), that I prostituted myself to him and got pregnant on purpose (I wasn't suppose to be able to get pregnant), and that I'm being selfish for not letting them go to a 4th of July party without me.
Only problem is, he rarely hangs out with the kids. He'll drink a bottle of vodka or a 12pack of beer in a day. He plays on his computer none stop. He hasn't watched the babies overnight in over a month because he screams at them and throws open doors. I've found him passed randomly on the floor. Found him looking through tinder while at a baby be well appointment. He's screamed at the babies when they were crying because "if they get to make noise I get to make noise too". They don't really like him. Essentially, my kids are always around me and I take care of them 98% of the time.
AITA for not wanting my (18mo) kids to go somewhere where I'm not welcomed? ###### | NTA
What the fuck??? Why are you even letting this man in your kids life ? He sounds like the typical American wife beater. Get out of that situation. He will be in jail soon anyway with that sort of personality. ###### |
Tonight I ordered in food from DD.
My building is a bit hard to find because the number is on the side facing away from the parking lot. In my instructions I have written detailed directions to find the building as well as which door to use since only one has a call box.
About 15 minutes after the app texts saying my dasher 'Deborah' is near, I get call. No big deal, occasionally people get confused and need extra help. Instead of being a female as expected, it is an irate man. He proceeds to complain about wasting time and gas driving around for 15 minutes to find my apartment. I ask if he read the driver instructions and where he was so I could guide him to the building. He avoids answering and raises his voice further saying I've wasted $5 of gas money, he deserves a better tip ($5 on a $17 order is what I had already set up) and next time I should go pick it up myself and not be lazy. I tell him to give me the number of the building he is at leave the food and I will come get it.
Getting outside, there is only one car with a female driver who got out of the car and handed me my food without a word. No guy was insight.
Typcially I do not complain about drivers or leave poor ratings (don't think I've left below a 3). However it's unprofessional and threatening to have a male call and berate me over finding my building. I left the driver 1 star and lodged a complaint with the app. It automatically offered me a credit in the amount of the tip left.
Honestly I do not know if it removes
the tip, which was not my intent.
It's been an hour and now I'm starting to second guess if I overreacted by reporting the driver for being unprofessional and communication issues. Should I have just left with the low rating and not complained? I know tough it's right now for everyone and don't want cause someone to lose their income. ###### | NTA
What she did was entirely unprofessional and should have called you herself. ###### |
I love kids but I want a kid free night. My family won’t stop asking if they can bring there kids and I say no kids allowed every time. My cousins are calling me an asshole and selfish for not letting them come. They said they should be allowed to bring there kids because they are well behaved and don’t want to pay for a babysitter. I don’t have kids but I don’t think I would ever assume I could bring my kids to someone else’s wedding. ###### | NTA
The cousins who don’t want to pay for a sitter don’t have to come, problem solved ###### |
I(16m) live with my dad and grandfather. My older brother lived with us until he turned 18 last year and moved it to our moms. My dad and grandfather make me go to bed at 8pm and also take my phone and every electronic regardless if they bought it for me or not. I also do all the daily and weekly house chores(Dishes, mowing the lawn, vacuuming the house, etc) and I’m tired of doing it and having my stuff taken. My dad was upset when my brother moved out because they did the same thing to him until he left and my dad doesn’t want me to move out at 18. AITA? ###### | NTA
Save money now. Don’t tell you dad anything so he can’t try and prevent you and on your 18th just leave. ###### |
know this sounds horrible but there's background.
I've been married 20 years and I've never been close to her. She skips over our kids on holidays and hasn't acknowledged a birthday, except her own, for about 5 years. My husband, her son, doesn't speak to her because of verbal abuse he had from her growing up. My nieces and nephew (18, 19 and 21) also don't speak to her because she is an awful toxic person.
In Feburary she texted me that she had breast cancer. Being a nurse, I jumped into action and got her set up with a visiting nurse, meals on wheels and a housekeeper. I brought her to her first appt so I could understand what type and the treatment options as she refuses to wear hearing aids and has a 6th grade education. I followed up with her brother who lives nearby and relayed what he needs to do to help her.
Then came her first chemo appointment. It was 4 and a half hours. She introduced me as "her ride" and "the bitch" to everyone who came in then sat on her phone talking to "her real daughter in law" being my husband's ex that he hadnt seen since they broke up in 1998, about me. Never said thank you. Then I got her home and walked her dog then gave him a bath. Cleaned her house and got her set up with ensure drinks and whatever she needed. Still no thank you.
Now, I'm in the mindset of she has cancer and she can do or say anything she wants right now. My husband is livid. I didnt even tell him half of it. The more I thought about it the more I just want to wash my hands of it and pass the responsibility to her brother (hes nice but equally ignorant).
Would i be a horrible person? I'm just over her ignorant shitty behavior. ###### | NTA
My son had leukemia and while we gave him tons of leeway it definitely wasn’t a do or say anything you want. You still have to be a decent human being to others who’s are trying to help you.
She can get her “real daughter in law” to take her. ###### |
I (22) live in mature student accommodation while I do my Masters. One of my housemates and her husband (early 30s) got pregnant after moving in.
I haven’t slept in weeks and haven’t been able to do my uni work. I am living on this baby’s schedule. I pay a lot to live in this housing and it is against our legal contract to generate noise loud enough to disturb other tenants. I understand that they can’t move out any time soon but I think it’s selfish to have a baby in student housing and they should move out when this is over. WIBTA? ###### | NTA
It’s student housing, not family housing. They need to go ###### |
So this happned a few months ago but my brother still wont talk to me about it. Basically here's the story, I moved away for college and obviously school is expensive so like most students I was struggling financially. One of my classmates who I got along with worked at a strip club and told me I should try it out because the money is good and she could recommend me. Fast forward a bit and I'm working at the club, money is great, hours are nice and best of all it's basically paying for my schooling and then some. I ended up telling my brother this one day and he went on to tell our mom that I work as a waitress which is whatever. Except that since then she kept talking about how they should come visit me and stop by the restaurant I work at, my brother kept making up excuses why they shouldn't do that and finally I had enough of playing this game of pretend and just told her. My mom wasn't thrilled but she seems to be more understanding. My brother though was furious with me and basically has not spoken to me since then. So AITA? ###### | NTA
It wasn't your brothers place to tell your mom anything about your job from the get go. Your mom is okay with your job. And it seems it is only your brother who has a problem with you being a stripper (which btw might I add is nothing to be ashamed about), so it's his problem to overcome ###### |
I was talking to my 7 year old yesterday when she told me that she fell down a flight of stairs last week. She was not hurt however, because if that were the case I would have known and I did not know about it til she told me.
I gave her teacher a call and she conformed that it was true. According to the teacher daughter she was trying to sneak upstairs during break time and was caught by a school prefect. She tried to run but lost her balance and fell down a flight of stairs.
The prefect went to a teacher who found my daughter crying at the bottom of the stairs. She was taken to the school nurse and was found to be completely fine, not hurt in any way. The teachers then decided that it wasn't an issue and this incident went as if it never happened.
I was livid. The fact that my child fell down a flight of stairs, which could normally end up badly, was hidden from me just because she was miraculously unhurt? I don't know, this sounds wrong in so many ways. I should have the right to know if anything happened to my child in school out of the ordinary.
I posted this incident on social media while demanding an explanation from the school. I was told by the school that they hope that I could put it down because I am giving my daugher unnecessary attention. At the end of the day she was not hurt and I should just move on like she did. True to that, my daughter seems to be over it and doesn't seems to care. Should I drop this? Am I being the selfish AH for blowing this up? ###### | NTA
injuries can show up later and it's important to know the cause. I'm sure they didn't do anything to check for internal damage in a School nurse's office. They totally should have told you so you could keep an eye out for concussion or other delayed reactions. She's 7!
When I was in elementary school I fell off the monkey bars and the principal himself drove me home and told my parents! ###### |
At a family vacation right now, and I can't stand eating around infants. I'm aware it's not their fault because they aren't capable of learning good eating habits yet, but them getting pieces of food all over their face and their hands, spitting their food and getting it everywhere- just generally being sloppy with their food, which my niece is especially good at- easily disgusts me and being around her immediately spoils my appetite.
For this whole trip, I've either been eating in another room from my family or going out by myself. They think I'm being rude by doing this and they've been on my back and they think my reasoning isn't valid- but ridiculous. I try to make it clear that it personally has nothing to do with her, and that I'd be perfectly fine eating around her when she's older and can be more clean. It's also not like I haven't triend eating around her before, but it's a lot easier said than done. Usually ends up with me taking two bites then giving up as a tornado of mashed potatoes, chewed up hamburger and baby saliva is brewing across the table.
This is getting to the point that I think I'm wrong, because nobody else in my family seems fazed by her messiness. ###### | NTA
I’m the exact same way. ###### |
I live on a private paved road (no question about this) that I share with 4 other homes on a private cul-de-sac, that is about 250' long, we each have a wide frontage on the road. The road goes through each of our properties consecutively, and there are 3 signs that say "private road" or "no trespassing". Every day we have multiple people from other neighborhoods walk past our houses to the end of the cul-de-sac, where they turn around and walk back out, right past all the signs. We have had several break-ins in our neighborhood (all 5 houses have been hit over the past 4 years), mail stolen from mail boxes, constant litter (doubtful produced by those who live here), dog poop from people who don't live on this road, etc. I feel i am a nice person and pretty neighborly to those around me, but I really don't like all these people walking on our road. This paved road wasn't cheap split between only 4 houses, and we have to maintain the road, as well as pick up the litter and dog poop. Just today, a couple of young mothers were walking with their 3-4 year-olds, 2 which were riding bikes down the road. One of the small kids wrecked their bike on the pavement and rolled down the road about 10' or so. Now I just realized i have to also be concerned about liability! My wife says to let it go, she doesn't like to make waves, but for all the reasons above, I just don't want these folks trespassing. To me, this is no different than me just walking across their front yard. I moved here because I wanted some privacy and not a lot of traffic. AITA? ###### | NTA
I was think for most of it that you were, until you mentioned liability. You *should* be in the clear if your signs are posted and clearly visible, but someone could still try legal action and cost you money.
Also bear in mind I’m not a lawyer ###### |
Every day at the same time, I walk my dog around the block. Whenever we encounter other people, with or without dogs, we move to the boulevard and let the other people and their dog(s) stay on the sidewalk. Today, I came across a lady walking 3 golden retrievers. I did what I always do, and moved myself, my dog, and my kids to the boulevard to pass by. Well, her dogs started coming towards us, and she couldn’t stop them. The dogs got nose to nose with mine. Thankfully, no fights happened, but I told her that if she can’t hold on to all 3 dogs, then she shouldn’t be walking all 3 dogs. She questioned my knowledge of dogs and then told me that I should have crossed the street and walked on the other side when I saw her. I don’t believe I did anything wrong as I had full control of my dog (I even jumped back into the street to try to keep the dogs apart) and I don’t feel I should have to move to the other side of the street. AITA? Is it my responsibility to move to the other side because she couldn’t hold all her dogs? ###### | NTA
I agree with you that she shouldn't have all 3 dogs out walking if she can't keep them from attacking people or getting away from her. She's TA for acting like strangers in the world need to accommodate her ###### |
My husband has been temporarily laid off. Previously he worked full time (overtime, long hours) and I was a stay at home mom by day / worked part time at a restaurant in the evening / finishing my master’s degree at night (my mom often babysat the kids because my husband wouldn’t be home in time). Now my job has closed and my school (one class and a lab) has switched to online. My school is Mon and Wed nights from 5 to 8, it’s an online meeting in which I have to participate and interact.
Since all this, husband and I have split parenting duties pretty decently - I do more but he’s doing better than I expected (this has been a long ongoing fight with us where I feel he doesn’t pull his weight / gets way more free time than me). We take turns waking up with the kids and we each put one kid to bed at night. Last week I was off from school. However yesterday my husband had to feed and put both the kids to bed while I did my class. Tonight I ask him “were you planning on me putting both kids to bed?” And he says yes. I go on to explain I don’t think it’s fair, I’m not relaxing, I’m doing schoolwork and that shouldn’t mean I have to do everything the next night while he gets to sit and play video games all evening and night. He gets visibly angry and tells me *one* class isn’t work and he doesn’t agree so to stop talking but he’ll do it. AITA for not letting him get a “night off”? Because I get 0 of those. ###### | NTA
Don’t tolerate his shit. Part of the problem, honestly, has been you. For the past x amount of years, you’ve programmed him to do very, is any, little part of the parenting work (as you’ve implied). If my mom does all my laundry, I’ll just get use to it and allow it to happen. Same as mostly everyone on the world. Women have been taught to be superheroes and shoulder all the burden.
So continue to be firm and set up boundaries. Even when things go back to normal, don’t shoulder all the responsibility. Of course, if he comes home late that day, he gets a pass. But on the weekend, for example, let it be known those are his days to put the kids to bed. ###### |
This happened a while ago, I work at a local pizza place, and it was dinner rush. I manage the phone, counter, and oven because we were understaffed
During rush a lady comes in and orders food, I get everything ready and ask if she wants a bag, she says no. I tell her the usual thank you for coming have a nice night.
I then go to answer the ringing phone to place them on hold so I can service the next person at the counter when she yells out ‘actually can I have a bag?’ Because everyone else is busy getting deliveries or making pizza I grab a bag, open it, and hand it to her over the counter where she’s standing. The store has one of those high glass protection counters, like subway, and she was at the end of it so I just jumped to give it to her when she didn’t move down towards the register.
I again tell her to have a nice night and enjoy her food, when she just stops, stares at me and beings yelling at me telling me I could of come around and placed the food she was holding into the bag, she immediately walked out cursing under her breath, all my coworkers and customers in the store just kind of stopped and looked at her because we were all in shock.
I then go and take the order of the people on hold and the counter when another call comes in, it’s someone requesting to talk to the manager because ‘she received the worse customer service she’s ever had and she will never come back, and she’s been coming here for years and has never come across someone like me with such an attitude, and that I need to be reprimanded by someone’ my manager just gave her a ‘yes, I am sorry and will talk talk to her about it’ I didn’t get reprimanded, everyone just kind of laughed it off, I’m only asking because when I told my mom she said it was rude of me to not walk around and put the ladies food into the bag. ###### | NTA
1) she asked for a bag, not for it to be bagged
2) putting stuff in a bag isn’t that hard
3) she assumed that your job description included bagging food ###### |
So I (24m) and my (24f) wife where sleeping in our bed. Now our bed faces a vent. So i woke up and i saw that something was in there. And i have never noticed,but my mom had put a CAMERA in that vent my mother is a narcassist i went NC with her when i hit 18. And when i saw that camera i thought " holy shit theres a pervert who likes to watch my and my wife sleep". then i found all of the cameras and bugs my mother put. oh and how she got in was she contacted my dad who i still talk to and lied to him and told him to give her a key to my house to " go feed and take care of my dog" because " I was away" but i was just at work. anyways i took the cameras and bugs to the police station they found out it was my mom and i pressed charges. so i want to know. am i the ass for doing so ###### | NTA
1. Broke into your house with out you knowing
2. Filming you 24/7
3. Recording everything you say
Dude I don't care of she is family send her to jail what the hell
Edit: Have your wife sue her too! ###### |
Hi, me (F/37) and my husband (M/44) are having some loud arguments about I needing him to occasionally take a day off to stay with our 3 kids (5yo, 3yo and 3 months old), so I can go to a medical appointment, as I have a cronic thyroid desease (which has now got out of control due to my last pregnancy, baby is now 3 months old). He says I am being selfish, as he is entering a new position in his job and must not at all take a day off for me going to my thyroid appointment. He his willing to do it for the kids though, if one of them needs medical assistance.
I am a stay at home mother and he is saying I do not respect his work, because I asked him about his new working schedule while mentioning I would need a thyroid appointment by that time. In our country law grants 30 days off per year to spouses of people with cronic desease, but my husband is afraid that the company will not want to give him a new position anymore if he "keeps asking stuff like this". He even had an outburst and said he would not work anymore and I would have to pay half the bills (I already pay for half the food). Also he said that if I have money to pay my psycotherapy I should have money to pay the bills too.
Husband says only after september will he be considering to ask company for days off, but I do need that thyroid appointment at a specific timeframe (which is within a month), and I feel frustrated to even having to explain that, as my heath should be a priority imo.
My only way out would be to ask my aunt and my mother to come and stay with the kids, but they are quite aged and I am scared to leave my 3 month old baby with them, as they may not have the necessary abilities to take proper care of him.
Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA
Your husband needs to step up to being a parent. Sometimes that means taking time off work. He his a major AH. ###### |
Hi all,
First post so apologies.
My husband works in almost an all female environment and has done almost 20 years, I accept these work friendships
Last few weeks I've been telling him that co worker texting him after 10pm asking for a lift is inappropriate, he agrees but doesn't control when they text him.
hubby has had 2 weeks annual leave and Last night at 1:30am he had a missed call of co worker. He didn't answer we were alseep!
He messaged this morning to see what she wanted and it transpires that she had had an episode where she had taken too many paracetamol in an attempt to end her life.
Co worker had a partner, has family and friends of her own. I say reaching out to hubby was way over the line and although I sympathise she needs to back off, she is crossing boundaries. Hubby agrees and simply didn't reply.... I want to message and tell her directly. However, I recognise she's currently in a bad place mentally and don't want to cause her further anguish. WIBTA?
Just to add there are no trust issues between hubby and myself and she has never sent suggestive messages but has previously phoned drunk during the early hours where she was told to stop. ###### | NTA
Your husband needs to set clear boundaries for her. ###### |
My husband of almost 9 yrs (who suffers from untreated anxiety and depression-m, age 36) wants us to sell our house and move our family(two sons in elementary) across the country to live in a lower cost state so he can have more land and flexibility to start his mini farm or whatever other business he fancies. It would mean leaving two good paying stable jobs, a great small community with a great school district and all of my family including my aging 70 yr old parents. And I just don't want to. His goals are noble as he wants to live debt free and find a job he is more passionate about in a state with a lower cost of living. He thinks this will make him happy but it means giving up my entire life to move to a state where the only people we know are his family. He is potentially able to work remotely in his field or get another job but my career field is harder to break into after relocation which would mean I probably wouldn't work and would be giving up my career.
And one important fact to consider is that we tried this five years ago- moving to his more affordable home state to be near his family. We ended up moving back to my home state because we weren't happy. This is where we live currently.
This disagreement in our marriage is causing major issues and he's been depressed but I still am not convinced that he would be happy even if we did move. He just isn't very nice to me which makes it hard for me to consider giving up so much on the slight chance this move would make him happy especially when he hasn't been willing to seek conventional treatment for his depession. Aita for refusing to move to try to make him happy? ###### | NTA
Your husband needs therapy, not a change of location. He's trying to solve his internal problems with external solutions. As you have already found out, it won't work.
Edited to add: This cannot be good for your children either. I know someone who had a mentally ill parent that dropped everything and went to a different country when they were 10, and then moved back a year later when their new life in a rural area turned out to suck balls. This shuttling around at a young age coupled with their parent's problems made *them* extremely anxious and they are only starting to fix this as an adult ###### |
I (F26) live in the UK, and had a baby 3 weeks before lockdown. The first week I spent with my baby in hospital and he needed NICU, the second week I spent with my husband having family come and visit. Week 3 was just a tired breastfeeding haze with a few visitors. Then we went into lockdown. Since then it's just been me and my husband looking after our baby who is now 4.5months old. Myself and my friends are all nurses. My friends are now pestering me to join them for lunch out as restaurants are now opening. I don't want to go, my baby hasn't had even a cold yet I don't want to test them out with coronavirus first thing and the thought of having to watch my baby on a ventilator again scares me. My friends insist that I 'need to leave the house sometime' and that I 'can't keep hiding' which I feel is unfair as weather permitting I will meet them at a distance outside for a walk or a cuppa. Now things are re-opening it scares me more than ever as everyone is getting so lax about transmission. I've argued with my friends about this they think I'm being unreasonable and are insulted that I would think any of them could be a danger to my baby. So reddit AITA? ###### | NTA
Your friends seem to be unaware of how dangerous the situation still is. I understand missing the social lifestyle, but they're in the wrong for two things.
1. Clearly not practicing social distancing.
2. Getting mad at you for not wanting to meet them when you have a baby in your home that could very easily get exposed to the virus.
They're not only being unreasonable, they're putting everyone at risk. ###### |
AITA for cutting off a decade long friendship. I was friends with this guy (“F”) since 9th grade. He was my first high school love because he was such a nice guy even though we never kissed or anything, it took years to get over him. He moved away and I transferred for junior year to another high school but we still kept in touch. I always looked up to him as a nice guy and always told him he’ll find a good woman someday. We used to do this 4-way on the phone with this friend and his girl. The friend (“P”) is in one of the northern states.
Fast forward to now, I’m now 27 and I was jogging and he called. I answered and he was doing a 3-way with P. P has moved to FL. After the convo he says if he can give P my number, I’m hesitant but I say okay, seeing it would be awkward to say no while the guy is on the line. P text me about how’s I’ve been and how I look like now. I wasn’t too sure where he was going but we exchanged a few text and that’s it.
So a few days later, F calls me and tells me, “P was asking me if he had a chance to hook up with you, I told him take his chances.” I felt so disrespected. 1. Lack of respect for me because I never told him I’m searching for someone to hook up with and 2. I had a bf and I felt he was so disrespectful to him and my relationship. I definitely didn’t hold back she gave him a piece of my mind and told him that we are no longer friends.
Now he constantly calls and when I finally picked up, he said I’m in the wrong because he apologized. I’ll never get over it and I’m not even a little bit interested in being friends with him again.
Reddit wise ones, AITA? ###### | NTA
Your friend clearly saw you as a piece of ass.
And he may have apologized but that doesn't erase what he did. He's trying to pin the blame of his asshole move on you.
Sounds like he's not the friend he used to be. ###### |
The whole story is in the title.
My ex-husband gave me three cards (one from him and each of our kids) and a miniature rose bush for Mother’s Day. The kids’ cards just said that I do a lot for them and his just said he was thankful that I’m a good mom and was excited to see us again. (We still do family outings like going to the park).
My boyfriend broke up with me because he said it was inappropriate and that I should never have accepted them. It just blew up into a big argument. I told him his feelings were valid and we’d work through it and talk about it. Was it inappropriate?
AITA? ###### | NTA
Your ex is showing your kids that even though you may not be together it’s good to respect one another. He wrote a thoughtful card and it’s a lovely gesture.
You reacting fondly shows them that you can still be friends and co parent. Your kids will remember that even though you guys may not be together anymore you still treat each other with kindness and that’s lovely.
Your boyfriend knew you had an ex husband and kids I don’t know what he expected. Would he rather you were in a heated custody battle only talking through the kids? ###### |
My daughter (L) got pregnant in her twenties and gave up a child for adoption. Though my husband and I were upset, we fully supported her and thought she was strong for making a tough decision.
She’s doing well now and is married with kids. Her husband knows about the child she gave away for adoption.
A while ago, we heard from her daughter (S) that she gave away. Our granddaughter contacted us sobbing that her adoptive family had given her away as a baby and she was in the foster system with an abusive family. She’s 12 years old.
My husband and I agreed that even though L didn’t want her, she’s still our grandchild and we have the resources to help her. We adopted S and she now lives with us.
We got S a new wardrobe and redid our guest room to be her room. We also made a college fund and put about $60k in it. Basically we treat her like how we treated L, S is now our daughter by law and in our hearts.
L was indifferent to us adopting S. However, L went ballistic when we told her about S college fund. We didn’t think L would mind since we paid $80k a year for her college education and S is now our daughter too. L is mad because her other kids don’t get a college fund from us even though L and her husband have already gotten it taken care of. But, L says that we are spending more on S and aren’t treating the grandkids equally. She says that her kids will resent us and L for not being treated like S.
However, S is our daughter now and L’s kids are our grandchildren. S has no support system besides us and we treat her just like L. We don’t discriminate among our grandchildren and if L had taken in S, she would’ve been treated like the other kids, aka no college fund.
AITA? ###### | NTA
You’re treating S the same as L. S is legally your daughter and not your grandchild so she shouldn’t be roped in with the grandchildren. The grandchildren already have both their parents to take care of them and their grandparents to dote on them. Meanwhile, S seems to have had a terrible life and needs more help than the grandchildren to get up on her feet again. Maybe your daughter is feeling guilty about not stepping up and using you as a scapegoat for her guilt. Continue supporting S! I’m rooting on her! ###### |
Pre-info context: I met these friends in high school, but have been talking to them via Discord recently cuz...yeah. Both of us are 20F.
Pre-info context 2: She has openly discussed having mental & developmental disorders, but to respect her privacy, I can only confirm that they’re socialization-based. Please do not diagnose her in this thread.
———
Due to recent events (protests right outside my door - for more context, I’m Black) my mental health has been suffering; since this group consisted of my best friends, I’ve felt comfortable talking out my feelings with them.
Her mental health has been suffering as well; due to the COVID outbreak, she’s been struggling to find reliable work, as well as a place to stay.
Yesterday, she was rejected from her dream job. Unfortunately this was her 10th rejection just in the past three weeks. Yesterday was ALSO a noteworthy day for protests in our city, and I personally know many who were affected.
When I started talking about it, I was immediately confronted by two friends who told me to stop out of respect for my friend since she was already having a really bad day. I agreed. However, I noticed during the call that every time we tried changing the topic to ANYTHING else (even the lighthearted stuff) she would get mad and claim we were invalidating her feelings by not giving her the floor. When she gets mad, she yells and cries, and it kinda scares me a bit tbh.
I ended up snapping then; I her that it wasn’t fair for her to expect us to talk about/comfort her at all times. I expressed that I felt silenced because I was told to yield the floor to her issues, rather than have a space to discuss mine. I wasn’t happy that everyone had collectively decided her feelings were more valid than everyone else’s and I was...tired.
I left the call immediately after my outburst. I plan on apologizing regardless, but AITA here? ###### | NTA
You’re friends are being ridiculous expecting all of you to just give her all of your attention all the time. She might be challenged, but that doesn’t make her feelings more important than yours, especially with what’s going on right now with the protests and how that’s affecting you.
Definitely apologize, but make sure to stand your ground. Don’t let them all emotionally push you around into feeling like you’re feelings and mental health aren’t validated. ###### |
Me (f25) and my partner (m28) have 2 kids already, DD 2.5yr and DS 11 months.
I was due to get the coil fitted before the pandemic but this was delayed and we were using condoms.
About 6 weeks ago I suddenly started feeling dozzy and nauseous out of nowhere which is exactly how i felt with DS so i took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We immediately knew we didnt want another child at the time or probably ever so i rang my doctors to book in for a consult for an abortion, in breastfeeding so not having periods and didnt know how far along I was. We had the consult and found i was 8 weeks pregnant and was booked in for the following day.
However that night I had horrible cramps and started bleeding heavily, we went back to the hospital and it was confirmed I had miscarried. I was honestly relieved as obviously I wasnt planning on taking the pregnancy to term anyway and i was freaking out over the idea of having an abortion as medical procedures make me extremely nervous and id heard alot of horror stories gone wrong.
Fast forward and I visited my SIL last week(socially distanced of course) and she asked if me and SO were planning on more kids. I said absolutely not and explained what happened and that I was relieved that the pregnancy terminated.
Well it turns out that SIL had been trying for a baby for the last year and hasnt been successful so far and said im an awful person for being relieved and that other women would kill to be able to get pregnant as quickly as i can.
Context, both my babies were conceived on contraception.
I said im really sorry i upset her and that i had no idea she was even trying and had i known i obviously wouldnt have discussed this with her.
I thought that was the end of it but all of a sudden all of SO's family are messaging me saying im cruel for rubbing my pregnancies in SILs face and that its disgusting that im relieved over a miscarriage when she wants a baby so bad.
So AITA? ###### | NTA
You’re allowed to be relieved over this, and had you understood the situation you wouldn’t have brought this up. Frankly your pregnancy, miscarriage and almost abortion are none of their business. But your SIL asked, and you told her. I hope your SO is sticking up for you against his family. ###### |
TW: drug use
My mom(52F) got arrest Friday for possession of a controlled substance(herion) and paraphernalia(needles) and I refuse to bail her out again. I just sent her to rehab back in October and I’m tired of wasting time and money on her. She hasn’t talked to me since Monday when I told her I’m not going to get her out of this situation. Am I the Asshole? ###### | NTA
You've tried more than once to help her, nothing changes. She broke the law. This is her own doing. ###### |
Katie and I were really close friends in high school. We are now in our mid 30’s and I got married a year ago, she is getting married this fall.
A bit of backstory: i moved three hours away from our tiny hometown and she stayed there. I would always make time to hang out with her, at her or her parents’ house, when i was home, which was frequent in my 20’s. As i got older and more settled with a career and relationship, i started going home less often. The last time I was home it was only for a few hours and I told Katie if she wanted to see me, she would have to come to my parents house. She said she would, then an hour later made an excuse and never showed.
When I was planning my wedding, of course I wanted to invite her. She RSVP’ed yes for her, her longtime boyfriend, and her daughter. They never showed up. I could already feel the friendship had run its course before the wedding, and this just kinda proved it. We have not spoken since. I’m not mad, as I realize friendships sometimes just fizzle out, i just wish she would have at least told me she wasn’t coming or apologized after the fact or *something*.
Yesterday, i got an invite to join her wedding group on Facebook and a request to send her my address so she can send an invitation. WIBTA if I just ignored the invite to join the group to get an invitation because i don’t want to go?
Keep in mind this is not the actual invite, this is just address gathering to send invites. ###### | NTA
You're actually being pretty mature about it. If you know you aren't going to go, then why let her waste time and money on your invite? ###### |
My ex and I still have regular (almost daily) contact because of our daughter who just turned two. I spent most of our relationship wondering if we were even a couple. Coworkers would ask me and I’d tell them “as far as I know, we still are.” My family and my friends are not his biggest fans because of how he treated me during and after our relationship. He always spun things around to make them my fault, he pretty much went no contact with me once I was pregnant, he asked about my appointments and such but never asked how I was, never came to see me, didn’t hug or kiss me at all throughout the pregnancy. We spent nearly 2 years as a “couple” but only talked about our daughter. He’s berated me for my parenting choices (extended breastfeeding) and told me I’m just sensitive when he made jokes at my expense. Last week I went with him and our daughter on a short drive and he asked me if I’d ever thought about getting back together with him to which I responded “no” rather quickly. AITA for not being more kind about this? I wouldn’t get back with him either way, but I almost feel bad for possibly hurting his feelings. ###### | NTA
You were upfront. If you had said it any other you would have given him a false hope ###### |
(Throwaway of a throwaway because I forgot the password)
A few months ago my brother took me furniture shopping. He needed new chairs and found nice ones but said he can't afford it. I offered him to lend him a bit money he said no first but accepted it seconds later.
We then go to the cashier (already signed the contract on everything under my name since I had a customer card) and I ask him how much he is short. He then said he has no money with him and never carries anything with him. So I had to pay everything since I signed the contract!!!
I was really pissed that he tricked me..
Now we got the notification that the chairs are ready to pick up. But I'm thinking I only will give him the contract and pick up slip when I get my money back from him. If sure he'll be very mad and throw a tantrum since he's always short on money. But I also have to get my money back!
So wibta? ###### | NTA
You were tricked into paying for the whole lot after he told you he was only short on cash. At that point I would have probably cancelled the contract and said outright that you weren’t paying the whole amount.
By saying that he can’t have the contract till he pays you back guarantees go some extent that you will get your money.
If he argues about it. You could always use the fact that. The property is in your name and therefor until he pays for it. It isn’t his.
If he isn’t willing to pay for it or pay you back to get the stuff from you. then you tell him you will advertise it for sale to get your money back that way.
Unfortunately this is a lesson for next time you go shopping with him. I would be wary as he’s likely to pull this trick again if he succeeded once. ###### |
I have 4 kids. My eldest daughter (19) and I recently went shopping for a car. She's job hunting and college bound later this year.She needs a car to get around. I drive a white sedan(this is relevant)
We found a beautiful black sedan for which I paid cash.it was registered in my name only,since I would be paying the insurance My plan was to transfer it to her name when she gets a job.
Now we both love this new car. It has a larger interior than my old car and leather seats.
I have decided to give my daughter my old car and keep this new one for myself. After all her 3 siblings fit better in the new car.My daughter is livid.
Now reddit is it fair? I pay for upkeep of both cars for now.
TLDR : Should I go ahead and switch cars or give her the bigger car, even though I have 3 other kids to ferry around? ###### | NTA
You own both cars, its your choice. You are giving her a car, if you want to set the reality of real life into her, charge her for the old car due to her attitude. Find out what the trade in value is and put 1k ontop of that so to give her a realistic idea of the value of stuff ###### |
Am I The Asshole for not giving my boyfriend’s sister in law a quilt?
A little bit of context: I have anxiety, and when I get anxious, doing something where I can see results really helps me. So, my boyfriend got me a baby quilt to sew whenever I have one of my attacks. It’s a cross stitch, and takes a lot of time. Him and I decided for me to finish it and we would keep it for if we were to ever get married and have kids.
My boyfriend’s brother isn’t by blood. The brother, “J,” and his family adopted my boyfriend in middle school and my boyfriend’s family wasn’t good and taking care of him. Because of this, my boyfriend feels indebted to J’s family.
J recently married his wife, and she is pregnant. I was sewing my quilt once when they FaceTimed us, and my bf showed it to them, telling them how much work I put into it.
SIL immediately jumped on it, saying how great of a baby shower present it would be for her. My boyfriend and I explained that we would be keeping it for our first child, but I stated I’d be more than happy to make her one when this one is done.
She flipped her lid and started screaming at my boyfriend that “he should be grateful J’s family took him from the dump” and that “he needs to get everything he can for them” because “he owes them.”
My boyfriend stood his ground in front of them but later cried to me saying that I should give them the quilt after I finish because they’ve done so much for him. He kept saying I could always make another one.
I refused. I’ve been working on this quilt for MONTHS. Cross stitching is really hard and hurts my hands when I do it too much, but it really helps with my anxiety. I’m also really attached to the blankets because it’s the first thing I’ve ever sewn, and I really want it to have family value. Now everyone in my bf’s family is making me out to be a horrible, selfish person.
AITA for not giving my boyfriend’s SIL the blanket? ###### | NTA
You offered to make her one of her own and she wanted yours!? SIL is an AH! ###### |
Me and my boyfriend both have a set of dog tags that we bought for eachother. One has our names, the date we got together and forever inscribed to it and the other says 'my partner, my puppy, my prince' on his and 'my partner, my pumpkin, my princess' on mine.
We've been together for a year an a half and on that dadt I put a photo of them together on facebook.
A friend of ours, Kris, is in the military. He took offense to us wearing dog tags and made a public post complaining about 'military appropriation' and how offensive it is for civilians to wear dog tags. He sent me and my boyfriend the post with the words "fuck you" and has ignored every attempt we have made to contact him.
Are we the assholes? ###### | NTA
You have a right to wear them.
The only thing you’d be a AH for is those names LOL (I joke!)
I hope your pal comes around but ya your not the assholes here ###### |
Today my mother saw a thing in her social media group where some of our neighborhood’s children recorded themselves saying a thank you message to the current frontline healthcare workers, and then playing a short musical piece on the piano/violin. This is a sweet gesture, but my mother immediately decided my sister (13) should also record herself doing this because “it gives you a chance to develop public speaking skills.” My sister was reluctant to do it because she thinks it’s cringey and it’s clear that the other children’s parents also forced them to do this, but she caved in.
While she was doing the recording, I was videocalling some friends who I haven’t talked to weeks. While I got caught up talking I overheard my mother yelling at my sister, likely because my sister wasn’t doing the recording the way she wanted it to. My sister then popped in my room and asked me “can you combine two videos clips together directly on the iPad?” I was talking with friends so I didn’t elaborate and said “no I don’t think you can, you probably need another app for that.” An hour later I was finished talking, and my mom came in the room, angry that I didn’t stop talking to my friends to help my sister edit the video which *she* was the one who basically forced her into doing. My mother was also complaining about how she “had to learn how to use iMovie” in order to help my sister combine the clips.
I didn’t confront my mother while she was yelling about how selfish of a sister I am, who only hangs out with my younger sister only when it’s convenient for me to do so, but inside I was thinking that it’s not fair I have to help my sister with this when my mother was the one who basically said “I want this recording done so you can be like the other kids” without providing any help or guidance to my sister. AITA? ###### | NTA
You had no obligation to help in an activity that it sounds like your sister wasn’t comfortable in and was just going along to appease your Mom.
Also:
> develop your public speaking skills
Yeah a video recording isn’t going to do that. She was definitely fishing to get recognized for a very stay at home activism. Like you said sweet idea but it shouldn’t be window dressed as anything other then what it actually is. ###### |
My(18F) mother always likes using the phrase ‘I know each of my children individually’. She always says this when I ask why the rest of my siblings(13M and 26M) don’t do chores. Like she would go out for groceries or whatever then comes back in the evening and asks ME why there are still shoes in the entry way(not even mine), why there are dirty dishes in the sink(even though I did breakfast dishes expecting someone to do lunch dishes) and why the house is a mess. I used to just do whatever she says to avoid being confrontational but yesterday was when I reached my last straw. She came back from taking her car for a drive to ‘revive her engine’, it was literally like 20 minutes max, then she finds me in my room and starts telling me how irresponsible I am for expecting her to come back and do the dishes and clean up the living room while I just sat in my room doing nothing(my brothers where in the living room playing ps4).I retorted by saying that I’m not the only one in this house and she threw in her famous ‘I know each of my children individually’ quote and this is where I might have been the AH cause I said that she only uses that phrase when she wants to manipulate me into doing chores that everyone should have an equal share in and that she always has such high standards when it comes to my life whereas she pampers my other siblings. She told me to lose my attitude and we haven’t spoken since then. My dad now wants me to apologize so that we reduce the tension inside the house and telling me that I should never speak to a parent like that. So AITA? ###### | NTA
You called her out for spoiling the boys. You called her out for her annoying little saying.
I don’t understand why people say contradicting a parent is rude. And I’m an old woman with two grown children. I want to know what they think. And I respect their autonomy. And I think I did when they were 18. They might have different thoughts . Smile.
Anyway, I hate what she says to you. How condescending. People grow and change constantly.
“Mom, if you knew me as well as you think you do, you’d know I am feeling like we are overdue for a talk, now that I’m an adult, about how I feel about your taking the easy way out in expecting me to pick up the slack for the boys.” ###### |
My wife and I live with our 4 kids in a house that is pretty close to our next door neighbors. A year ago, a new family moved in next door with their 3 kids.
Our property technically extends until about 5 feet from our neighbor’s physical house, so we have always used that land on that side as a place to park an extra car or whatever.
Our new neighbor put up a basketball hoop for their kid in the driveway so that when their kids played, they were inching on what was technically our property. We had no problem with that because who cares.
However, eventually our neighbors began parking their car in that land. We asked them to stop because 1) sometimes we park there and 2) our kids play wiffle ball all the time in the back yard and didn’t want cars that are not us pulling in and out without expecting our kids to run out and also 3) it’s our property and we really shouldn’t have to explain more than that.
When we asked them to stop parking there, they said they didn’t understand why we couldn’t share the land as it had room for 2 cars and all the kids run around there and nobody has cared before. They even said they would move a car from there if we ever needed the space upon request. We didn’t really want to go down that road.
When they continued to park there, one day we had a fence built on our property so that they could not longer park there and now their kids could no longer play basketball there (the second part was not our intention). We did not tell them we were building the fence beforehand and our neighbors freaked out saying we were being selfish.
AITA? ###### | NTA
You asked them to move and when they didn't you took the next step. Plus it's your property. ###### |
I already feel like a major AH but my sister says to post on here because she thinks I'm not.
I'm back at home with my parents and older sister because I can't stay at my uni dorm for obvious reasons. I wasn't able to take all my belongings with me because I had to leave for home in a rush, so when I got home I placed a big order of toiletries and other necessities, and I thought I'd treat myself to some nice new skincare products and some workout clothes because I'm going to be home for a while and I wanted to spend some time working out. I didn't think much of it until I video called my boyfriend and told him about my shopping and he got really upset that I'm buying unimportant things right now. He says I should have donated my extra money like he did (we both work at the same restaurant near school and got one last paycheck before going home), instead of buying stupid things. I feel really bad already but when I told my sister she said I wasn't an asshole for what I did but I'm not sure. AITA? ###### | NTA
You are under no obligation to donate your money. It's tough times for all of us and if workout clothes and skincare products help you get through then go for it! Also you ordered them online - it's not like you went out to the shops unnecessarily. ###### |
As you can guess from the title, this is an unbelievably stupid argument I’m having with one of my friends.
I am (16F). I’m currently doing all my schoolwork at home and I did all my stuff on time and I’ve been relaxing this weekend. One of the pieces this week we had to do this week was a small essay for my history class as we’ve just been studying the slave trade.
The subject of it is really fascinating to me and it’s led to conversations in my friend group about race. The friend this post is about is Frank (16M). He is mixed race, his parents are black and white. He had some stories about how some of his ancestors were in the slave trade. No issue talking about it because I think it’s important.
We were talking on a zoom call about race. He talked a lot about black people and I started talking about my background. My mom is white American and my dad is Mexican. He calls himself brown and ive inherited most of his dark features and I feel I’m mixed race. I happened to say that to Frank whilst we were talking about race and he got really mad at me.
He said I didn’t get to call myself mixed race because I’m not in his eyes. He then accused me of being racist and attempting to whitewash the struggles his people have gone through. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong but he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.
It really upset me and I went crying to my dad. He said that technically I wasn’t wrong, I am mixed as my dad isn’t white. He said Frank is probably just upset due to the history period we’re studying and he’s got very heated about it. I think maybe I shouldn’t have said I was mixed race to Frank.
AITA? ###### | NTA
You are mixed race!? Just because someone else is "more dark" than you, doesn't change your heritage. If anything, your friend is racist to say that to you. ###### |
I(15F) have been babysitting my lil brother O(4 months) since he was a newborn because my mom and her boyfriend both work nights. I used to have a schedule where I would alternate nights with my other brother J(17M) and for about the first month I got irritated a few times but it wasn't enough to deter me. J eventually got a job so he dropped off the babysitting schedule so lately it's been me babysitting O from midnight to 9 almost every day. Along with this because they work nights they need to sleep during the day where they pass him off to me again and when their not sleeping they tend to go shopping 2+ hours without him. I am getting paid for none of this despite the fact that I'm more of a nanny at this point. I like to think I'm a go with the flow kind of person but lately my sleep schedule has been severely messed up and as someone with a history of mental health issues I've been getting more and more exhausted the longer this goes on. At this point I mostly just want a break but I don't wanna seem ungrateful or bratty for not helping out. ###### | NTA
Wow, you're a really responsible and resilient 15 year old!
You can help your parents out and still be a kid, or at least that's how it should be. What's happening here just isn't healthy for anyone, especially you and the baby-and it could be dangerous.
You need at least 8-10 hours of sleep a night and at 15 you need it so your brain is healthy enough for your body to grow and brain to mature. You won't be able to keep this up forever and it's going to get to a point where you'll fall asleep when he needs you most and it'll end badly. You just shouldn't be bearing the responsibility of being a parent at 15 when you're not in fact a child parent.
Talk to them honestly about what this is doing to your physical and emotional health; and that while you're grateful that they trust you enough to carry this load alone at 15 you're honest and real enough with yourself to tell them that it's too much for you. Let them know you no longer feel safe or confident in babysitting so often alone and overnight anymore. I know that you're probably on limited resources and there's not a lot of alternatives to the situation but that's actually not your responsibility at this age; it's theirs.
Best of luck to you, OP. You're a great kid and you've been a great sibling. Your family is lucky to have you.
Edit: added not and a semicolon. ###### |
I (18) still live with my parents at home due to studying. I work away for a week every other week. As soon as I leave for work my brother (24M) decides to come in my room and set up camp with his playstation, TV, chair, ETC. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind but I’ve recently finished decorating, spending £1000+ so it looked nice. He treats the place with no respect and doesn’t ask me to even go in there. Last week I came home from work and he had his TV set up on my glass desk, as well as his playstation. I’m not even sure if the glass can withstand the weight, I’ve told him this but he still persists. He leaves his cups and plates with food and drink to go mouldy and leaves stains all over my desk and floor , also my clean clothes were thrown on the floor. It’s not a nice thing to expect to come home to a clean room the way I left it and find it trashed with him not even caring. I’ve lost count how many times this has happened and he still doesn’t listen so I’ve decided to put a lock on my door so I can be sure to come home to my room the way I left it. My friends agree with me but my parents think I’m an AH for doing this as they believe I should just leave him be and that I’m over reacting. AITA? ###### | NTA
Why does he use your room?? What's wrong with his room?
Tell your parents if they think he should be able to use your room then he should be forced to clean it up as well, or if it's no big deal then they wont mind if he uses their room.
I find it weird that he goes through the hassle of moving it constantly. ###### |
Note: This argument happened pre-COVID, but it's been eating at me for a while.
I was running errands with my mom and my infant daughter and we stopped at a restaurant to grab some take-out. The group ahead of us (a woman with her parents) saw my daughter and commented on how pretty she was.
While I was holding my daughter, the woman approached me to ask about her and tell me she was struggling to have a baby herself due to PCOS. I mentioned that I also had PCOS and recommended my fertility clinic. Then she asked to hold my daughter and reached out to her. My daughter shrank away and I was getting my own weird vibes, so I told her it wasn't a good idea.
When my turn came up to order, I handed my daughter to my mom. As I ordered, my daughter got squirmy, so my mom let her down on the floor. Shortly after, the woman's mom walked over to my daughter and tickled her. My daughter ran back to me and hid behind me.
I was pissed that someone would touch my daughter after I had already told them no. My mom started to apologize for my daughter, but I interrupted and said that my daughter's body is her own. And if she didn't want someone touching her, then I hoped grown-ups would respect that.
The other group finally got the hint and left my daughter alone after that. My mom scolded me, saying I was being too harsh about them touching my kid. She said they didn't mean any harm. I told her that they probably didn't, but I wasn't taking any chances.
So... AITA?
EDIT: Some clarifications:
\- My daughter started walking on her own at 9 - 10 months. The whole crawling/pull up on furniture/walking progression was super quick.
\- I'm not sure why my mom let her down on the floor, but probably the same reason she thought strangers touching my child was NBD. ###### | NTA
why do people feel so entitled to touch/hold a STANGERS baby/toddler?? They don't know you and you don't know them. Yes, they are extremely cute. Just do your little googley eyes, wave, smile and coo. Especially since the mother already said no.
It also reminds me of service dogs. People want to pet them. Owner says no, they're working. They get all butt hurt.
Respect people's choices. Respect people in general.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. ###### |
So my sister recently gave birth, and her husband died ~2 months before that. She called me today asking if I could stay with her because she’s having trouble with the kid. I told her I would have to ask my wife.
I asked, and she said it would be fine. I asked if she would come with me, and she said she would. We think it would be a good “trial run” if you can call it that because we’ve been waffling on kids.
I then called my sister back and asked if my wife could come. She said no. I asked her how long she expected me to stay and she said she didn’t know. I don’t like the idea of being away from my wife for an unknown amount of time, taking care of a kid during a pandemic. I told my sister I couldn’t go if my wife couldn’t come, and she yelled at me and hung up. Wife thinks I should go anyway.
AITA? ###### | NTA
When you are married you come together! If you sister wants help, she should accept your wife coming as well. ###### |
My daughter (9F) recently got her period a few days ago, and my husband who was in the medical field thought it would be better if we both talked to her together.
We did the whole birds and bees talk, and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking dad to buy pads and tampons for her.
We wanted her to feel comfortable and get used to it.
Dad did the explaining while I went out with my daughter to go buy her pads and teach her how to use them.
Both of us thought this was okay, and our daughter seemed completely fine with it.
She never seemed to be uncomfortable, and seemed genuinely kind of relieved.
I was talking to my sister the other day though, and she blew up at me. Telling me dads shouldn’t be the ones teaching this. I shouldn’t have told him, and it was my responsibility alone.
My sister told me it was an invasion of my daughters privacy, and most of my immediate family agrees with her.
I’ve never thought of periods as something other than something that happens biologically.
On one hand, at least my daughter learned, and has a supportive dad. On the other maybe it was wrong of me to bring dad into this. ###### | NTA
What do they think happens with daughters of single dads? ###### |
My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can.
My fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there.
Here's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ###### | NTA
Weddings are already stressful, don't invite someone you don't trust not to make a scene. ###### |
So I (18f) decided to take my little brother outside to play with chalk today since it’s the nicest day we’ve had in awhile. I was just wearing simple black leggings (not see through or anything) and a top. Obviously I was bending over on the ground drawing chalk with him and after about 20 minutes this lady comes over and is FREAKING out. Telling me I’m dressed highly inappropriately and that I NEED to change my clothes because her husband is peaking out of the window watching me. I told her I wasn’t gonna change but then she called me a *slut* for wanting a “grown man” to look at me, so I did, I went in and changed. I changed into some shorts I had since the leggings weren’t okay and it is VERY hot outside. I only wore the leggings originally because I didn’t shave my legs but I changed for her. I didn’t wanna change into anything thick so shorts were the next best option. So I went back outside and she was just waiting by her front door and screamed that I was a “disrespectful little shit” and went inside and called (you’ll never guess) the police lmao. I don’t know what she told them but 2 of them showed up and she puckered up and was like “look how she’s dressed, there are CHILDREN in this neighborhood”. The police officer quickly glanced and told her I was dressed fine but recommended that I go change to prevent conflict. So I went in the house and my mom tried saying that while it was fucked up of her to confront me, she could kind of understand her frustration. I understand that maybe she was just upset and I wasn’t exactly helping, but like c’mon I’m not the bad guy here, am I? AITA for not changing into something less “tight and revealing” to keep her husbands eyes off of me? ###### | NTA
Wear whatever clothes make you feel comfortable on your own property. Really hate hearing about women blaming other women for their husbands being creeps. ###### |
I'm new here, so please forgive any mistakes I may make.
I have two boys with my now ex wife, who decided that after the birth of our second son that she didn't want to be involved anymore. She divorced me, and I was stranded full custody since she didn't want anything to do with our kids anymore. It was certainly an adjustment, but I found that both myself and our sons, after the initial shock, were both dealing great without My wife, who, to be clear, didn't settle for anything less than perfection.
Fast forward fourteen years. Both of my sons are doing amazing, and so was I. We never moved from the house we lived in with my wife, so it shouldn't have been so surprising when My wife showed up at the door, claiming that she wanted to be Part of our lives again, in her own words.
I, of course, refused to have much to do with her, but if Our sons wanted to know her, then I wouldn't stop them. so I agreed to talk with them, privately, that night. I made sure not to involve my feelings, just that if they wanted to, they could have a relationship with their mom. And they didn't. No much what I tried to say, they refused. I told them to sleep on it, And they agreed. And came to the same conclusion.
When I told my wife about their decision, and, by extension, mine, she got angry. She accused me of 'poisoning ' their minds and told me that she'd take it to court if I still refused to let her see them. I said that I couldn't make them, And that she relinquished her parenting rights years ago. She got angry and hung up, but not before telling me that that I better be expecting a call soon.
I really don't believe her, but still, i appreciate any opinions, And if I'm being too harsh. ###### | NTA
Time to lawyer up broseph, just to be sure she doesn’t force her way in.
Good on you for taking care of your boys and giving them a stable environment. I hope one day when their adults they’ll let it be known that you did a great service by them.
Edit: changed “to them” to “by them” ###### |
So I (21F at the time) gave birth to twins about nine months ago, we waited about a day and a half before telling anybody we'd given birth, including our parents. We wanted to wait until we'd named them (we had names picked out before birth but changed our mind once they were born) as well as until we could be sure that Twin A would be okay (she needed to be resuscitated when she was born and was on breathing support in the NICU for a little) before saying anything.
​
Nobody else has said anything but a few months ago my mum basically called me a dick for doing it saying "who the f\*\*\* does that". It's not like we held off on telling her specifically (although considering she announced publicly with pictures that I sent her before we'd even been able to tell my brother or FIL I might next time haha), we just held off on telling her in general. She also hasn't met them in the time since they've been born (obviously won't now because of the restrictions) so it's not as if she was super excited to meet them.
​
So AITA for waiting a day and a half before telling my mum I'd given birth? ###### | NTA
Though I don’t know the specifics. It doesn’t seem you have a close relationship. Sometimes you need time to process things before you tell everyone. ###### |
So my boyfriend has an ant farm, and I'm not sure how much he paid for them but the ants are also fancy, bigger than normal ones (I'm not sure the name of the breed though). The ants creep me out and make me feel itchy watching them so I normally wouldnt watch them or watch him interact with them when he gets one out the tank, but me and a friend were at his house watching a movie because he has a better tv than me, and he was in another room with the ants. My friend went up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she said she'd seen him at his desk, so she had a peak at what he was doing- he had a shallow tray of water and was using a piece of wire to hold an ant under. She said he was releasing it then re-dunking it. I thought that was really weird but didnt say anything, and I later told another friend about it who said he might have been testing how deep he can have a water bowl for them without them drowning, but that just doesn't make sense- why hold it under? why not just google it? Again I never said anything though.
So I started to watch him with the ants (subtly) and noticed a bunch of other cruel things he did- he found red ants outside and put a bunch of them in a tub with one of his ants and watched his ant get attacked and eaten. I drew the line when he put one in the microwave and confronted him, and he told me I was being a baby. I didnt get to say much else because his aunt showed up, but I was fuming at him. When he was sleeping I emptied the ants into a container and released them outside. I went home after that and he still hasnt called yet, but he'll be pretty mad. I feel bad because they werent my property and I never really had an in-depth convo with him before releasing them, and the ants probably arent native which isnt great either. I'd be extremely pissed if anyone took away or released my pets behind my back before properly talking to me first, but at the same time he was being cruel, so I dont know. ###### | NTA
This was so much worse than I thought.
I’m not an ant person
Or a bug person.
But nothing deserves that sort of treatment. ###### |
So I work at a fast food shop, and we close at 9 PM. We technically close at 9:15 for people who are in shop, but given corona, we do not allow people to eat inside. Every sign says 9 PM, so not many people (if any) know about the 9:15. Also, not every manager follows 9:15, and sometime it just depends on the day.
Someone came in the drive-thru at 9:01, and before I could say anything, my manager told me not to. Most of my coworkers will not say anything to potential customers who go through the drive-thru after we close, and just let them sit there. I personally do not like doing that, so I make sure I say "thank you for choosing [job], unfortunately we do close at 9 PM but for your convenience we will be open at 11 AM]". Most of the time, people will just say okay and drive off.
I also have a very high pitch customer service voice, and sometimes I wonder if it sounds sarcastic or b*tchy. I don't mean it that way, but it could be taken that way.
Anyways, when I told this woman that we close at 9, her response was "wow I'm 1 minute late, f*cking b*tch."
I was told to not say anything, and would have had to take and make the entire order myself, as my coworkers had closing tasks to do so we did not get out late.
AITA for not taking her order, given that she was only one minute late? ###### | NTA
This isn’t even a debate, your manager told you not to, that’s it ###### |
I've previously made a post in regards to the situation with my neighbors but the short version is that they used to be my friends mutually with my wife but when my wife and I had issues and she left me temporarily they told her she should take me for everything I'm worth.
After finding out I decided to not have anything to do with them, well my child's birthday was this weekend and she really likes them so my wife asked me beforehand if it would be okay for them to come. I said it was fine but don't expect me to be all chit chatty with them and I would probably steer clear.
The day came and they never showed, I asked my wife how come they didn't come as I thought they were going to. She said that they know I hate them (I don't really hate them, I just don't want to associate with people who actively tried to harm me) that they noticed I won't even say hi to them anymore etc.
I feel bad that they missed out on the birthday party putting aside my feelings towards them. They however haven't made any attempts at reconciliation with me regardless and to my understanding don't even recognize why I dislike them.
So AITA for this situation? ###### | NTA
They made their choice when they chose a side during your separation; they sealed that choice and all its repercussions when they told your wife to "take you for all you're worth." If they wanted civility they should have stayed quiet and let you and your wife handle your troubles.
You were being neighborly and a good parent to your kid by inviting them. It's on them that they didn't show; but I can't blame them, they look foolish. As long as their kids are still cool playing with yours I would just let it stand like it is.
You're clear on your opinions of them and you made an effort. Wipe your conscience bc nobody wants to pack their bags for a guilt trip down Neighborly Lane.
Good luck!
Edit: Corrected quote. Moved NTA to top. ###### |
So this literally just happened and I personally don't feel I am the asshole but apparently According to everyone else I am.
So here's the story.
My brother has 3 kids all under the age of 5. They have had head lice atleast 4 times, this time I think makes the 5th time they've had it.
We ALL know EXACTLY where it comes from but my brother and his gf refuse to stop sending their kids over there because this is the only person who will baby sit all 3 kids for cheap.
When the 3 youngest kids got head lice the last time me and my mom spent HOURS trying pick their heads clean because they were 2yrs old, hand no idea what was going on, fought, screamed, cried, and we're over all miserable.
After that time I swore I would never do it again because it's so freaking easy for them to prevent their kids getting lice and why should me and my mom be the ones who have to do the clean up of their mess.
Literally EVERY SINGLE TIME they've gotten lice, everyone BUT my brother and his gf have done the clean up. They have never had to do it themselves.
This time was the first time they ever had to, and the rushed it. Because they rushed it they did not get all the lice and the day care called them saying they need to check their heads again.
My mom and brother asked me to come help. I said No. I don't feel is should have to because they finally need to clean up their own damn mess.
But apparently now I'm a bitch because I don't want to and I should help them because my brothers GF is at work and he's the only one working on them.
Tldr: my brothers kids always get lice because they keep sending them back to the source. I refuse to help clear the kids heads because my bro and his gf have never had to do the clean up and I think they should do it on their own. ###### | NTA
They are their children. It's actually worrying that if no one else does it they won't and it has neglect feel to it. ###### |
**BACKSTORY:** My parents have been living in England for around 25 years, more than they've spent in their country. They both fled at the age of 18 and they haven't seen their parents, friends and family for 30 years, so a return to their native country was inevitable.
When I was 13, in the summer of 2017, my (16M) parents took me to their home country for what they said was "a holiday". This "holiday" turned out to be extended from the duration of the summer to mid-2018. I begged for us to return home and that I'm homesick but they kept on saying "This IS your home".
This set me back on everything I had going on back home in England. I was set back academically and life turned from nice & easy to painful & hard. All of a sudden, I was struggling and still am. And I put 100% of the blame on my parents and their stupid decision to keep me there.
So my parents, out of the blue, joked to me about a return to their country and staying there. I didn't like it and vowed that I'm not stepping foot in that place ever again. They got all sad and asked "Why not?". I told them straight up what problems I had with it. People there called me a foreigner, I kept on getting stared at, it's a shit place to live in and it practically ruined my life.
(FUN FACT: They knew about all this)
They were visibly upset and asked if I wouldn't visit even if they were old and decided to live the rest of their lives there. I said "only for a couple of days." If my (future) wife and kids wanted to go? I said that that won't happen since they probably would love it better here in England than over there.
They didn't say anything but I could tell I hurt them. Older brother said that I'm being too insensitive and I shouldn't have to be so rude.
Was I in the wrong here for letting out my true opinion on my parents' place of birth?
Btw, as to not cause controversy, I won't mention where they're originally from. ###### | NTA
There is guge differences between countries in different regions.
Since you were born and brought up in England, its not unsurprising that you would be unhappy their. I think ur parents are kinda TA for what they put you through. ###### |
My (F23) cousin (F28) got married a few weeks ago. She paid for flights so my parents and I could be there. They were around 200€ each. She decided I could bring a +1 but she wouldn’t pay for their flight. A few months before I got the invite I started dating my girlfriend Maggie. I asked her if she wanted to be my +1 and she agreed. I‘m bisexual and my cousin didn’t know we were dating as we don’t have the best relationship and don’t talk that much.
However, she knows that I‘m bisexual so my +1 could have either been a male or a female. She never made any homophobic comments before but when I told her I would bring Maggie she was upset. My whole family knows about my sexuality and they are very supportive so it wouldn’t be me outing myself at her wedding. She thinks differently and doesn’t want me to steal her spotlight and be the talk of the wedding. Maybe her friends are against same- sex relationships?.
I‘ve decided not to go to the wedding because I was really hurt and I of course I didn’t want to ruin her day. Even though we’re not that close I didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t enjoy her special day. Luckily we hadn‘t booked a flight for Maggie yet but my cousin had already booked the flight for my parents and I. I didn‘t bring it up to her beforehand that Maggie would be my +1 because I simply thought it wouldn’t be a problem. My cousin was very angry and upset that I wasn‘t coming and wanted me to pay for my flight which I refused.
It caused a huge family drama and I got quite a few messages from my family that I should have just gone to the wedding without my SO or should have paid her back the money. My cousin now demands an apology and still asks for her money. My friends are conflicted because I could have asked my cousin beforehand if she was okay with me bringing a girl, but when I came out to my family she never voiced that she wasn’t okay with this.
AITA for not paying and should just suck it up ?. ###### | NTA
There is clearly more as to why she doesn't want you to bring Maggie. If your entire family knows then you wouldn't be stealing the spotlight.
Also, you definitely do not owe her an apology or the money for the tickets. Number 1, you didn't do/say anything rude to your cousin so she should apologize to you. And number 2, if she didn't want to pay for the tickets then she shouldn't have. Unless you asked her to pay for your ticket there isn't really any reason to pay her back. ###### |
I (16f) found out a few days ago from doing an ancestry kit that my dad isn’t my real dad . That wouldn’t have bothered me that much but it turns out that my biological father was my mother’s ex boyfriend who my mum cheated on with my dad.
Bio dad didn’t know my mum was pregnant until after I was born as she ended it with him when he found out about the affair. She told him he wasn’t the father. She refused to do a dna test because her parents preferred her new boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she tried to get a restraining order.
Aita for getting angry at my mum after my aunt told me the story ? ###### | NTA
The man who raised you isn't either, your mom told him he was the father and had no reason or proof to doubt that. He shouldn't have slept with someone in a relationship, but that's an entire different issue.
Your mom denied you and your biological father years of a chance of a relationship. Probably because in her mind she wanted the man who raised you to be your father and convinced herself this was true.
Once you begin with a lie like that you can't stop. The man who raised you still is your father, you shouldn't treat him as anyless if was a good father to you.
But he should support you tracking down your biological father if you wish to ###### |
My husband and I have been looking for a home in the place where I grew up for around three years now. We have found a number of goodies and have even put in a few offers, but nothing has stuck.
Until a few weeks ago, when we found our DREAM HOME (old farmhouse, 15 acres, perfect location, and places for us both to work from - he is a mechanic and I am a photographer). We instantly began dreaming about raising our family there and staying until we are in our late seventies or so. We are both just shy of thirty now.
The offer and contract process was a bit difficult, we had to jump through lots of hoops financially and had to prove to them - for some reason - that we could afford to service the mortgage we were taking out. We ticked every box and signed the contract last week - hooray! We got our current house up on the market and have spent roughly 5k on repairs here, inspections there, conveyancing, marketing etc. All is going well.
Until today. We got a call from their agent telling us that they have changed their mind about selling.
Without going into too many details, their circumstance has changed and they can afford to stay there.
Legally, they have no leg to stand on, we own the house and cooling off is over.
Morally, I’m not sure. They have owned the house for less than a year (I would feel differently if they had owned it for twenty years and it was a family home), and they have said they want their friends and grandchildren to enjoy it and make memories there. We want to raise our children there and create memories of our own.
Are we the assholes if we proceed with the sale, even though they have told us this is their dream home and we would be taking that away from them?
Ah. Thanks in advance. ###### | NTA
That's what contracts and cooling-off periods are for. ###### |
I've been living with my current roommate for about 5 years now, and she has a habit of leaving her shoes (sometimes several pairs) in the middle of the floor in the entryway, right in front of the door.
I've been tripping over these damn shoes for several years now, and about a year ago i was sick and tired of moving them by hand, so i started just kicking them out of the way instead. Several times i've told her to please put them to the side so they aren't in the way, but it's fallen on deaf ears every time.
One day we were out getting groceries together she saw me kicking her her shoes out of the way as we walked in with heavy bags in our hands, and she told me to stop kicking them. I responded with "No, why won't you just put them out of the way instead?".
A few days later, shoes still there, i got fed up. I put her shoes on top the closet, which is too high up for her to reach, just to prove a point. When she finally noticed she got furious and asked why i would do that, and if i did it just to prove a point. She called me an AH, we argued for a couple minutes, and it ended when she went out the door. It's never been brought up since.
Well, it actually worked. The shoes aren't in the way every single time anymore, but i've been wondering if i went about it the wrong way? Frankly, i felt like i was out of options.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA
Some people just need a little extra motivation to be considerate ###### |
I raised 3 kids pretty much on my own. When my oldest was 17, she got pregnant and had a baby boy that she was no way ready to care for (her words). I adopted him and have been raising him on my own. I had talked to her about birth control and safe sex in the past, but this time I made sure to actually get her on birth control. She moved out and over the years my other biological children did as well. Then when my daughter was 22 she got pregnant again. This time, she claimed she wanted to raise the child and tried, but eventually felt too overwhelmed and asked me to take him. I adopted this child and have been raising him. She still sees the boys a lot, they know she’s their bio mom, but that I’m raising them.
Since then my daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been in and out of treatment. Last year, she (then 25) got pregnant again. I told her that I could not raise another child. Financially, emotionally, etc., I’m drained. I said that she needed to decide whether she was ready or to give the baby up to someone else (she told me when it was too late to abort). She tried to convince me otherwise, to at least help her raise the baby and I said no. She ended up giving the baby up for adoption and I never met him nor do I have contact, because I knew I’d get attached.
My daughter still resents me for this. She has an open adoption with the child and is doing a bit better herself but says that she wishes I had helped her more. She has guilted me at every turn and made me seriously wonder if I did the wrong thing. ###### | NTA
She's a fully grown women and she needs to grow up and needs to take responsibility for her actions rather than have you bail her out all the time ###### |
Shes 38f(im 29F if it matters), divorced 2 times, 1 kid from each, high school diploma, and a secretary. which i dont find anything wrong with shes getting by fine enough. But she keeps complaining about being single and how no "real man" that meets her standards will step up for her and her kids.
Her standards are mostly not too bad, around her age, respectful not sexist or racist, likes kids but there are a few that seem kinda unreasonable given her life... : never married and no kids, at least a bachelors, high earner so he can support the entire family while she quits to get a degree.
Basically everything she isnt, and something very rare among men in their late 30s. and the reason she wants himchildess may be the worst, she doesnt want to raise another womans kids but expects him to raise 2 other guys kids.
I told her that her wants were a bit hypocritical and she blew up, called me sexist, then went on to call mom about it so Ive been getting angry texts from her now too... ###### | NTA
She has some real issues if she doesnt see the double standard in her requirements for a partner. Good luck to her finding someone like that with the attitude she has (throwing a fit and calling you sexist for calling her double standard out) because she probably won't. ###### |
Throwaway daughter has Reddit
I have two kids one 14 year old son and another 16 year old daughter. A few weeks ago was my son birthday and he got a Nintendo switch two games and a pro controller. My daughter was upset and wanted me to make the gift a family gift. I told her no as it was my sons birthday gift and that was his own personal device he does not need to share. My daughter complained how my son got a better gift than her but I told her we spent 650 on the art supplies she wanted.
My daughter has not talked to me since the birthday and my ex wife called me up and told me I was a bad parent for not making the console be shared as video games are supposed to be shared. i told her no but I do feel a little guilty so for not forcing my son to share his Nintendo switch because my daughter wants to play ###### | NTA
She got what she wanted and she wants more. If she wanted a Switch, she should have told you so.
You're not a bad parent but your ex-wife is making it sound like you are. Your ex-wife should buy your daughter a Switch if she wants one so badly. ###### |
Recurring situation: live-in BF says he’s going to run to the convenience store that’s about a 2-minute drive from the apartment. Usually asks if I want something to drink, etc.
About half the time he comes right back. The other half, he comes back 30-45 minutes later, sometimes longer. Usually, it’s because he’s buying weed. Sometimes, it’s because he smokes with an acquaintance.
When he returns during these longer trips, I usually make a comment about him taking a while to go so close to home. He usually gets annoyed, then tells me where he’s been.
I’ve told him many times that I don’t care that he’s gone/doing what he needs to do, but I think it’s dishonest to tell me he’s going around the corner and then be gone for up to an hour. He says that it’s controlling that I want to know where he is/ what he’s doing all the time. He also says that he doesn’t tell me when he’s going to his dealer BC he doesn’t want me to be upset with him. The only thing I’ve ever said to him is “But I thought you just bought some yesterday?” Apparently he thinks this comment is unnecessary.
FWIW, he really is buying weed. AITA for thinking this behavior is tantamount to lying/dishonesty—even if it’s over something small? ###### | NTA
Relationships are built on trust and he’s eroding yours with his behavior. ###### |
I'm a 15 year old and the a few days ago I got told I have a condition that will kill me in a year or 2 and there's nothing they can do to help me. I had told my girlfriend and my two best friends and was going to tell the rest of my close circle of friends after school at my house. However my parents informed the school and they informed the teachers and when I walked into my maths class my teacher said 'I heard about your terminal condition I'm sorry to hear about it, if you ever want to talk to my office is always open' and the whole class heard and by the end of the day everybody in my school knews and I didn't even get a chance to tell my other friends. After she said that I shouted at her because I wasn't ready for many people to know and then I stormed out of the classroom and am refusing to go to maths. I don't have to worry about my GCSE (very important national exams) as I already know the syllabus and when I did a practice paper in exam conditions I got 87% (good enough for the top grade), so I'll just need to continue practicing so that's not a problem. A lot of my friends are saying that I'm being unfair because she didn't mean to and that she's rly upset that I refuse to come to her class while others completely agree with me. The main problem is that my parents are saying I'm being petty and that everyone was going to find out when I died anyway so it shouldn't rly matter so AITA. ###### | NTA
Probably going to be unpopular saying the teacher is an asshole here BUT:
Sounds like the teacher meant well, but she should have chosen better timing. If this were a random adult she may be forgiven for making this slip-up, but in the UK teachers are regarded as 'in a position of trust'. They are trained on handling confidential information, which medical information is a part of.
And Imo this is what makes it inexcusable that the whole class was informed of confidential information. ###### |
**Not sure if I'll get a lot of hate but only serious replies please.**
My wife(29f) and I (30m) went to her friends house to let our kids play together (both around 2). I'll call them Jack and Jill. I had never met them before but my wife told me their kid was a terror the last few times she saw them.
Things were going pretty well. Jack and I were at the grill when I commented, 'Your boy is so well behaved...' and I said something about how other toddlers don't like to share and throw tantrums. We joked back and forth about kids wrecking stuff until the girls came up and asked what we were laughing at. I told Jill how their kid was well behave and she blew up on me.
Quick note, my wife is white and I'm asian. Jack and Jill are black. Jill pointed out it was racist to assume her black child would not be well behaved. Being jokey/tipsy I said, 'I didn't think the terrible twos typically care about race.' Well it didn't go over well with Jill and she started screaming that I'm a 'racist republican.' Jill was super cold and implied I should go. I suggest my wife and daughter stay and I'd pick them up later. I apoligized and ended up just playing some golf until they wanted to be picked up. Jack came out to apologize for his wife. I apologized for being insensitive and if I affended them. He said no he did not think so and I thiught that was that.
My wife later said she didn't think I said anything wrong. Jill put up a facebook post about it later without pointing me out personally.
AITA here?
Side note: I'm conservative and typically voted republican (didn't vote in 16 and won't in 20). My wife likes to joke about it with friends and family. So I assume thats how Jill knew I was republican. I avoid bringing it up or talking about it because I hate talking politics when I want to have fun/relax. ###### | NTA
Pretty sure the terrible twos really aren’t a race thing. Some kids are easy and some suck. The only one making it a race thing is your wife’s friend. ###### |
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