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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Am I obligated to turn it down really low?
POST: Hello Reddit,
I have a question on dorm room etiquette. A few weeks ago I got a great speaker system for my computer with a nice subwoofer. So I've been playing my music using this. The first time I used it I admit I turned it up really loud so I could test out the speakers. It was a matter of minutes when the person in the next room over started slamming on the wall. I assume this is his passive-aggressive way of saying "Turn it the frack down!" So I turned it down to a more reasonable level. Within another few more minutes he slams on the wall again even louder. The only way I could get him to stop slamming on the wall is to turn it down so low that I get no bass out of my system whatsoever. Now every time I use my speakers I start them out at a reasonable volume. However, no matter the situation the guy in the next room will slam on the wall until I turn it down to the barely audible level. Its all the time, no matter the time of day, he just slammed on the wall a few minutes ago and it is 12:30pm on a Sunday.
Now here's my question. Am I really obligated to, in a college dorm situation, turn down my music to the point that its barely audible because the next room over demands it in a passive-aggressive way?
I can understand not wanting pounding music right next to your room, but really do I have to turn it down as low as he wants?
TL;DR: | In my college dorm, the room next door constantly slams on the wall when I play music until I turn down the music so low that its barely audible. Am I obligated to turn it down as low as he wants? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the nicest thing a stranger has done for you?
POST: For me, it would definitely have to be the girl that saved me from having the whole world see my panties. A few months ago I was on campus at the library and I was wearing this very cute sundress. My backpack was sort of heavy and would often make my dress come up a bit. A few times I had to pull my dress down because it was getting dangerously high up. As I'm in the library I put my bag down for a bit so I could quickly print something out. After I finished, I put my backpack on and headed for the printer. I don't know how I didn't notice but my backpack had caught onto my dress and pulled it up in the back and up to my waste. I was wearing a thong. Well as I'm walking to the printer, a girl comes up behind me and puts her arms around me and whispers "Don't be afraid. Your dress got caught on your backpack. Nobody else saw." She swiftly pulled my dress down and I whispered back "Thank you so much". I grabbed my paper and left. I never even turned around to see who it was or what she looked like. I honestly don't think anyone else would have done that or done it in such a discrete way.
TL;DR: | My butt was exposed to hundreds of people due to a wardrobe malfunction and a nice girl pulled my dress down in a matter of seconds to save me from complete and utter embarrassment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (24F) broken up with by ex (21M) this summer, struggling to move on
POST: I was together with my ex-BF for 1,5 years, and although we had our ups and downs we were very close. We started dating when I was in a difficult period in my life, and he really helped me through it. However, we weren't really compatible in the long run (I wanted a more serious different relationship, we couldn't find a comprimise that worked for both of us), and we broke up this summer. I know it's all for the best and I should find someone who wants the same things as me, but it still hurts so bad.
While I was with my ex, I felt lonely and unfulfilled by our relationship and often thought about ending it. But now that it's over I miss him so much, and can only seem to remember all the great things about him. Is there anything to help break this cycle and feel more positive about the break up?
TL;DR: | Broke up recently, feeling depressed and lonely, longing for him every day and night. How do I break this cycle and start recovering? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend (15F) and I (15M) have had problems in the past, and now I'm conflicted on what to do
POST: This is nothing too serious, but for the past year or so my relationship has not been the best but I love her and there are a lot of upsides to the relationship. She has done multiple things to break our trust like doing sexual things with another guy while we were taking a "break" (aka no title but we were basically together, still acted the same), kissing a different guy, sending naked pictures to a group of male and female friends. I always find out from other people about these things and then she denies until I bring up the proof. She also expects me not to be friends with certain girls because of jealousy and her own insecurities. She knows all of these things upset me and they haven't happened more than once, but I still struggle on whether I want this relationship. I've tried to end things before or bring the problems to her attention and try to fix them but it usually never works. I would really appreciate advice on what to do.
TL;DR: | GF and I have trust issues lots of problems, but there is upsides to the relationship so not sure what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 18 months; not sure if I am being unreasonable
POST: So, me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year and a half. We are both in college, but we go to different schools that are about 4 hours apart.
Its around the time in the school year when we plan housing for the next school year, so we have both been starting to work on that. The issue is that she wants to room with a guy that she hooked up with in freshman year (as well as two other guys in an apartment).
They're friends now and I completely trust her and know she wouldn't cheat on me. Its just that the idea of her living in a small apartment with a guy who has been with her makes me very uncomfortable. I am pretty sure that he would not try anything either, but at the very least he is attracted to her in some sense. The idea of him walking around in underwear, or her coming out of the shower in a towel (things that make home feel like home) really bothers me, all things considered.
She said she would find others to room with if I really felt that uncomfortable about it, but I also don't want to ask her to find others if I am indeed being unreasonable. I just want to ask people who aren't directly involved if they think I am being unreasonable if I ask this of her.
Thanks a lot guys!
TL;DR: | Girlfriend at a different school wants to live with a guy she has hooked up with. I am not completely okay with that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit! Tell me the stupidest thing you have ever done for money. I'll start.
POST: **
TL;DR: | Ate a roach found in a desk for 72 bucks, planned to swallow, instead send a tsunami of vomit upon a dozen people, go home early with pride and an empty stomache. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think my SO is lying to me about smoking...
POST: My So (M/30) and I (F/30) have been dating for a little over 6 months. When we first started dating we discussed how we both used to be smokers. For the first month, we began smoking together. While obviously unhealthy, it was our little thing while we talked and got to know each other. Both of us stopped at the same time. At this point, he was living about an hour away.
Since then, he has moved about a mile away and I stay at his place about five times a week. I have total trust in him. This morning, he had to leave for work early. I opened his nightstand and found a pack of cigarettes at the bottom, opened with about half left. I can't help but think he still smokes on the nights I am not around.
While I don't like the idea of him smoking at all as we both agreed to stop, I could deal with it if he wanted to occasionally. My issue is that I think he is hiding it from me, and, therefore, lying. It makes me extremely uncomfortable that if he can keep this from me I have to wonder what else he is keeping from me. And I can't confront him since I probably (admittedly) shouldn't have been in a position to find them anyways. Am I overreacting?
TL;DR: | I think my boyfriend is hiding from me that he still smoked occasionally which makes me wonder what else he could be hiding from me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [24M] been seeing [21 F] for a few weeks, blows me off, should I end it?
POST: I've been seeing this girl for about 3 weeks or so now, but last weekend she asked if we could be exclusive I said yes. I work out of town so I don't get to see her throughout the week but we talk every night and on a few occasions she mentions she gets butterflies. So I figure things are going well with us, so all week we plan on seeing each other Friday and both talk about how excited we are.
Theres a setback at work and won't be back until saturday night but we still talk about seeing each other saturday. I get home, text her im home, get ready, don't hear anything back. Called her, nothing. So I go out with friends text her hope she's having a good time tonight. She responds with " Im busy, sorry. I'm sorry" figure shes drinking with friends no biggie, tell her its all good.
She texted me at 5am saying she left her phone at home but she texted me that night, so I figure she was drunk but sounds fishy to me like shes lying?
So at this point I'm confused because up unto this point she seemed really interested in me but she blows me off and maybe lies? I'm considering just calling it off now because I'm fairly frustrated.
TL;DR: | she acts like shes falling, plan on seeing each other on weekend when I get back in town, she blows me off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Why am I still thinking about her? [M] 22
POST: Here I am, 3:38 AM, 3 years after getting dumped by a girl who by all logic, I should never have been with in the first place. We seemed to have little in common now that I think about it, but we were in love for almost 2 years. Suddenly, she's gone, running off with my "friend," giving me **zero** closure. I have a new girlfriend now, (when she's around, I don't think of her, unless I'm thinking something like, "wow, your so much better than my ex because...") but I still stop and stare at pictures of her if I come across them (before I delete them obviously). I still think she's absolutely gorgeous. Her looks haunt me. She has that impossible body, super tiny waist, big boobs, amazing eyes and face. I'm so mad at how she hurt me, but I long for the feeling of when we were together, but why? I really think she's an awful, cowardly, manipulative person. Please explain this to me.
TL;DR: | I **hate** my ex, but I can't stop thinking about her and getting all worked up over it, 3 years later. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] lied to my trust issed best friend [F20], need help fixing this.
POST: Alright, my best friend has trust issues with just people in general. It takes a lot for her to believe anything I say and this morning I did something I usually never do and I lied to her.
Before I start the story let me say my friend hates my ex girlfriend with a passion. She wants me to have nothing to do with her, and for awhile I didn't. I was getting over her. About 3 days ago I became friends with a girl named Trista. She was cool and we were hanging out and becoming close, but were still just friends. This morning I went to go see my ex girlfriend and while I was there we hooked up.
Now me and my best friend, Kate, tell each other pretty much everything, so I messaged her saying I got laid and we should celebrate (We usually tell each other when we get laid, it's stupid, but it's tradition) and then she asked "who" I panicked, knowing she hates my ex and I'd only get her pissed off I used Trista as a scapegoat . Then came the questioning "That's weird, didn't you just meet her?" and this and that, I eventually caved in and told her the truth, she didn't take it too well and did what she always does when she's pissed:
- Denied being mad (when she's really furious)
- Said she didn't care (when she really does)
- And told me to do whatever I wanted and how she was "tired of
hearing about my shit."
Not knowing how to deal with this I called my friend and asked him for help. He told me to just leave her alone for a bit, and message her later today, cause there was nothing I could do. So I listened and told her I'd message her later, she had no problem with that. And now I don't know what to do. Guilt is eating me up inside and I'm worried that she'll never believe anything I tell her, I also don't know what I'm gonna say to her when the time comes to message her. Please help me Reddit.
TL;DR: | Lied to my trust issued best friend about sleeping with a girl when I really slept with the hated ex, now I need help to save my ass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My cousin just took her US Naturalization oath today. What's a good gift I can give her to welcome her to US Citizenship?
POST: Also, what should I tell her about the rights/responsibilities/privileges that she now has? Also, if anyone has any experience with applying for a US Passport immediately after taking Naturalization, I'd love to hear your stories. We need it for a trip to India at the end of January. We have an appointment at the Passport Agency on Tuesday, and would love to get our passport the same day. We need to take it to the Indian embassy to get a new visa, and that itself is a headache for former Indian nationals (you need to get a cancellation certificate of your old Indian passport), you have to apply for an 'Entry Visa' instead of a 'Tourist Visa' that non-Indians get (and even children of former Indians can now only get the 'Entry Visa.')
TL;DR: | What's a good gift for a newly minted US Citizen? Anyone have any experience with getting a new US Passport ASAP? |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: I could really use a second opinion on two colleges I need to make a decision over
POST: My dream is to study computer science, however I was rejected from that major at UT Austin (still admitted to the university however). I was admitted at WashU St. Louis for that major but only at full tuition price. I could either a). Go to UT and transfer into their math or electrical engineering program (the computer science major is impacted so transferring into that major is not happening) and pay in state tuition or b). Enroll at WashU for computer science but only at full tuition. I know UT sounds like the more reasonable option but my issue right now is if I enroll in UT I'm gambling in the sense that transferring into math and engineering isn't a guarantee so if I don't get into either program I could be screwed. Also I feel like I would be settling for a math or electrical engineering major when my dream is computer science. Does anyone have any suggestions?
TL;DR: | rejected from major at cheaper school but still admitted to the school. Should I settle for a different major at the cheaper school or go to a more expensive school for my desired major? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Changed mind about job I'm supposed to start on Monday.
POST: Reddit, I need help.
I recently interviewed and accepted a job at a local office. A very good friend of mine suggested I apply for the job (a receptionist position), so I did. The hiring director repeatedly suggested that I was overqualified but eventually hired me anyway after I assured him that I would enjoy the work.
Well... I'm supposed to start Monday. I really am overqualified for the job. I have a degree and am a master's student. Today I was unexpectedly offered my dream job in a town I love one state over. I've already decided that I will live in regret if I don't take the second offer. Even if that job falls through, the whole thing has made me realize how very much I need a change. I don't want to live here anymore, and I'm really not cut out to be a receptionist.
But.... I feel horrible about backing out of an offer at the VERY last minute. I'm supposed to work Monday! How do I handle this situation? My friend will hate me. I mean... Do I suck it up and work for a while? What do you suggest?
TL;DR: | accepted job that I will be miserable at, but that my best friend recommended me for, only to have an amazing and unexpected offer pop up out of nowhere. Not sure how to handle this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] no longer love my SO [20 F] but her mother is dying.
POST: We have been dating for about 10 months. Her mother was diagnosed with cancer a few months back. We've always had a good relationship, we've had a lot of fun and laughs even despite her mother's illness, and I was able to help her through some bad emotional times that she has had dealing with her mother's illness.
That was up until a few weeks ago, when I started to realize that I didn't love her anymore. I'm a fairly independent person and didn't expect to be in the relationship for as long as its been. I was contemplating when to break it off with her...when she learned that her mother didn't have long to live. Like around a couple months.
Obviously this news has been extremely hard on her and I've done everything I could to ease her pain, but my feelings for her are still gone. The last thing I want to do is burden her with a break-up on top of everything else but...I don't want to be with her anymore either (and I know she still cares about me a lot). I know how selfish that is of me to think but it's constantly on my mind how I might be held back by this girl (who is a complete sweetheart and deserves everything) as I'm trying to start my life outside of college.
TL;DR: | Gf's mother is dying, but I don't love her anymore and don't want to be in a relationship...any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 1.5 Year Relationship turns sexless in early 20s?
POST: I started dating my current girlfriend in my mid college days. We started out great and made some deep personal connections.
I really believe we have made each other into better people since we started dating. She was a virgin out of sexual ignorance and apprehension and is now as sexually knowledgeable and potentially functional as anyone else her age. She has also gotten considerably more attractive in the past year of dating, losing about 30 pounds and getting really fit.
She taught me a lot about myself and has helped me work through some pretty big flaws.
Here is the issue. Despite my continued adoration of her and desire to please, she now (and has been for the past 5 months or so) brushes off 95% of my romantic advances. This is not just limited to sex. Making out, cuddling, non-penetrative sex acts, even hand holding all seem to bother her.
She acts very much like she doesn't enjoy intimacy, often being passive aggressive when I am upset at yet another rejection. On many occasions where we are intimate, the act consists of me spending 30+ minutes on her with no reciprocation (if I even suggest the idea she acts indignant, roles away from me and falls asleep claiming that "you could just give yourself an orgasm whenever you want anyway." We have had very candid discussions on several occasions about this. She has said that on many occasions she had "just had sex with [me] to appease [me]" and that "[she] didn't really have any interest".
I am in as good or better shape as when we met and have not let myself go in any way. I see her every day and make romantic (sexual and non sexual) comments and actions towards her every day. I am not the perfect boyfriend, but I don't see any reason in particular why a girl who cared for me and who was sexually normal would avoid me like this and have never had this problem with past relationships.
It has now gotten to a point where I am essentially the only sexual person in the relationship. It hurts me to see our relationship going this way but I cannot see it making it in the long run.
TL;DR: | Like most everything about a girl but she has no sexual interest in me anymore and is sexually selfish when she does display interest. Anything I should try and do to fix or should I just move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I tell my GF about this incident? (Details inside)
POST: Hey guys I'll make this short and sweet for you guys - we're both 18 years old and have been dating for about 3 months now officially, but seeing eachother for about 5 months now. We're seniors in highschool.
**Backdrop:** Right now she's in the Ukraine for a month to work out some dual citizenship thing. She's been gone for about two weeks now and we've been constantly skyping, texting, and calling despite the time difference
**The Dilema:**I told her I was going to a party of one of our friends and at first she protested claiming that I was sick a week ago and it wasn't good for my immune system (there would be alcohol there), we playfully argued about it for a bit and she eventually said she was fine with it, but I should still text her throughout the night - I agreed.
So throughout the night I kept texting her, but while I was there, and friend of mine (that's a girl) kept talking about how *I should break up with her and how she hated the fact I had a girlfriend*...she's not the nicest drunk. Either way she kept encouraging me to drink more and more until the point she said *"we should sleep together! not like sleep sleep, just sleep together!"*
And so I did. Nothing sexual happened at all. Clothes were still on and everything. I would compare it to brothers on a hotel bed.
So my question is: **should I tell my girlfriend about this incident?** I don't think it's a big deal, but I feel like it would be better coming from me then someone who witnessed it. On the otherhand, I wouldn't be very stoked if I found out my girlfriend had slept with another guy, even just as friends.
TL;DR: | I went to sleep in the same bed with a friend of mine that's a girl. Nothing happened between us, we just slept. Both girls don't like eachother very much - Should I tell my girlfriend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO(18F) and I(21M) just broke up. Looking for advice, tips, personal stories, jokes, anything is greatly appreciated!
POST: Im an emotional wreck, and typing this out has helped me calm down tremendously. I require your guys help to get through this. I've never felt so emotionally lost.
Me and my girlfriend of 2 and a half years just split up today. I know that we are both young but that doesn't change the fact of how heavy this breakup weighs on me. We spent literally EVERY second We had available together. I know for a fact there arent that many couples that have retained a level of intimacy that we had managed to keep for so long, but look where it ended... We both thought we were going to marry soon and end up sticking with each other one way or another, as immature and stupid as it may sound.
I will spare you all the details but basically she and I both have personal issues-myself with anger management, her with sex addiction and other underlying issues that caused her to act out(was seeing a 37 year old tourist looking dude for 4 months behind my back) and I guess the problems have finally surfaces in our relationship and we've agreed that seeking professional help for our issues would be best.
We are going to remain friends and plan on going to therapy together and separately. The hardest part for me is that I can say that I still love her unconditionally, but she no longer shares the same connection. Hoping one day, in the future, once our issues are resolved, we will get back together once again, starting over in a new, non-toxic relationship.
Peeps of Reddit, do you have any advice to weigh in with? How many of you out there have been able to successfully rekindle a once broken relationship? I'd do anything and everything, but I also want the best for her and if that means leaving her be, then so be it... Thank you for your time Reddit
TL;DR: | Broke off relationship of 2 and a half years due to toxicity. Heartbroken, but trying to have a positive outlook. What advice or words can you pass onto me, Reddit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my Girlfriend [22 F] of six months want's a break because I'm not ready to say I love you..
POST: So we have been dating for 6 months. I've had 2 shitty relationships and she has been in a couple relationships.
Normally she is friends with a guy and by the time they eventually date, he is head over heels and she just needs to catch up.
Now we come to the issue, she want's to say it and seems to be worried that I don't feel the same about her, even though I've explained that I feel it but not comfortable saying it, I don't even say it to my family etc.
She texted me after an argument about this last night to tell me she needs a break.
Honestly, I'm all sorts of pissed that she says she cares about me but can't call me to discuss this properly and secondly because she unilaterally made this decision when I've repeatedly asked for some patience.
Now I don't want to force someone to be with me if they don't want too but it feels like it's now a say it or that's it situation.
Am I wrong but I'm definitely very confused.
TL;DR: | She wan't to say it but doesn't want the awkardness.. I love her but haven't been ready to say it yet. She want's a break. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M], her [23F], I like her, but I'm scared, Gone out a few times
POST: Thanks in advance everyone!
Anyways, I'm 24, she's 23, Last time we had any contact was 6 years ago in high school, She wouldn't give me the time of day then, but now she said yeah let's go out. I like her… A lot. She's really nice, and sweet, and makes me laugh and all that warm fuzzy stuff, and every time we're by ourselves it's always a fun time, no sex, but just a fun time together. Introduced her to my friends and they all like her too, I think lol. I got hurt pretty bad at work, and my sister in law kinda made it awkward by telling her all sorts of stuff about my life, stuff I didn't want her to know.
Now after that happened she will text me every now and then, not like it was, which I understand we both work during the day and stuff like that which is cool so gotta earn money to have fun and stuff, but now when we do spend time together she doesn't want to do it with just me anymore. For instance last night I went to my friends house, I texted her hey how are you, and stuff like that, ask what she's doing that night, nothing too serious, well she shows up and it felt kinda awkward. I don't know how to ask her what's going on or anything like that.
I know it was nothing serious which is cool, it's taken me two and a half years to be comfy talking to women again let alone asking if they wanted to go out and do something, but just trying to figure it out.
TL;DR: | I like her, but I'm scared to see if she likes me too or if we are just friends. I don't want to ruin the friendship and make things bad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am confused as fuck
POST: I am a 20 year old male, and have a female friend who's 21. We started hanging out 3 years ago, but lately things have changed.
I have been feeling that she doesn't like being around me, I always see her happy with everyone but she has such a shitty mood when around me.
I started feeling angry at her, thinking deeply in how her personality has changed a lot and now she doesn't even care about me. I have been dealing with this for 8 months.
But now, in my birthday, despite of the awful relationship status and blocking me when I try to say that I love her (Of course I do, we all love our most close friends) she surprised me in private with a fucking cake and everything. She struggles to have money but still she went for this and now i don't know what to do or how should I feel.
I have been feeling that I should send people to go fuck themselves because they make me feel lonely and sad as fuck, and she was one of them until now. On top of that, i have been feeling numb and empty and my days are now gray and dull. Now she does this and my feelings for her have returned because it means so much to me. What do I do?
TL;DR: | Op is male 20, fem friend is 21, relationship is bad for months. I feel angry. I want to go trough her. In my birthday she hugs me and gives me a fucking cake. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Ex stole lots of valuables for drug money -- can this go to court?
POST: Without getting too far into the details of the why's and how this all came to be....I had to leave a guy for doing heroin behind my back, and refusing to stop. He had a key to my parents' house where I was staying, because he had built a deck with my dad some time ago. Towards the end of our relationship, when I started noticing unusual behaviors, things started going missing. For instance, He had come over and I had $300 of tip money in a drawer...later, after he was gone, I noticed all the money was gone. After the break up, he went batshitcrazy and broke into the house at night (via windows, despite having a key-- drugs, man), tried to kill me, then himself, police involved, yada yada yada. He moved to Idaho with his mom shortly after to presumably escape trials and stuff.
Now, to my question. A little bit after, my mom noticed her engagement ring, diamond earrings, and some cash were all gone from her dresser. We've searched up and down and it is definitely not in the house. After speaking to some of his friends, I learned that he had recently bought a lot of really expensive heroin right before the craziness happened, and it seems really obvious that he must have stolen my mother's things.
Because I have a police report of him breaking and entering, is there anyway to sue him for money to replace my mom's engagement ring? Since he's in Idaho now, do I need to report it to police there?
TL;DR: | Ex stole my mother's engagement ring (among other things) for heroin money. We have a police report of him breaking and entering; can we sue him for money to replace the ring? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: One of my closest friends [26/M] and I [23/F] have great chemistry. He doesn't want to take the risk of losing our friendship. I do.
POST: So, its not that I don't care about our friendship. It's just that I think we could be so great together. I've never had this sort of chemistry with anyone. So to me, it is worth the risk.
I know he is interested because we drunkenly made out a few weeks ago. And he kind of fell back for a few days, which is when I found out that he was hesitant to pursue anything with me due to concern of ruining our friendship.
So, here's the deal. I don't want to go out of his way to pressure him into pursuing anything with me, so like I won't go ask him on a date. I'll continue on with our friendship. However, because I know he is interested in me, I want to 'playfully' begin the process of seducing him and see if I can slowly over time change his mind. Does anyone have any advice on how I would go about doing this? Like I said, I don't want to just jump his bones and demand he date me, for that would surely eliminate both options of staying friends and dating. But I do want to make some subtle moves to maybe plant the seed that he may want to take the risk one day.
TL;DR: | Trying to subtlety seduce my close friend without coming off too strong and adding too much pressure. Any fun, playful, or subtle ways to do this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Work won't issue me a phone and has no reimbursement program. Can I claim a phone as a tax-write off?
POST: Please don't take this as me trying to get my personal phone paid for by work. My current cell phone situation is I still split a family plan with my parents, and don't intend to get rid of that phone, I call them frequently and we all appreciate the unlimited minutes between each other. I also want to keep that phone as my "personal" while separating it from a "work" phone (in case of any auditing). Basically the whole reason I'm prefacing this is because I don't want this to turn into some lecture on how my current way is wrong.
Basically situations have arisen where working from home is a necessity sometimes. Whether it's being on an abnormally early call (before transit starts running) or inclement weather forcing me to work from home, I've had to use a good amount of my minutes on work calls. I have no problem using my personal when WFH is by choice, but these are really piling up. Unfortunately how my reporting structure works, my day-to-day report is different than manager so the person approving doesn't see this, and we're in an end-of-year budget freeze to try to maximize profit. Is there a way I could buy a cell phone and claim it as a work expense on my taxes? What proof would I have to provide when filing, and would I need any sign-off from my company? I should also add, a landline would cost roughly the same as a Sprint unlimited plan for me.
TL;DR: | red-tape blocking me from getting a work-issued phone, what would be necessary for me to claim a **separate** cell phone as a business expense on my taxes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the coolest way your parent/s have stood up for you?
POST: I have MS, Multiple Sclerosis, which in a nutshell is a disoder in which my nerves don't communictae with my brain properly.That being said...
I was in the ER with bladder retention. I was 18 years old but because of my petite frame and baby-face, looked about 15-16... and because I couldn't pee for 2 days I also looked 6-7 months preggers. While waiting for my mom to get to the ER, some lady called me a "dirty whore" who should learn to "keep her legs closed".
I didn't know how to take it. No one had talked to me like that before.
Now, my mother is a lady of great charisma, and polished grace. She is beautiful, intelligent and remarkably witty. She's the kind of woman who when walks in a room, everyone notices, and likes. She's a force of nature, and certainly not someone you would piss off. when she got to the hospital, I told her what the woman said, and Mom walked over to her and said,
"She that precious girl over there, curled into a ball and sobbing? That's my daughter, and she is not a pregnant whore. She has Multiple Sclerosis, and is suffering from bladder retention. At the moment, all she feels is pins in needles all over her body. She feels like someone is squeezing her middle which is already filled so much that if she doesn't get help soon, her kidneys could fail. She has a dibilitating disease that is quite literally killing her, and is stuck here, in this town, because the best medical staff is here. I believe that you owe her an apology." the lady mumbled a mortified "I'm sorry" and my mom said, "and if you so much as look at her again, I'll knock you out cold, you lousy bitch."
TL;DR: | My mom threatened to knock out a women whicle wearing a dress worth thousands, and diamonds worth more, in the middle of an ER because the lady called me a whore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [ 19 F] with my friend I guess [20 M] around 2 weeks
POST: So I met this guy in a class of mine and we clicked instantly. I thought we would be good friends, but then two days later he texts me to ask me out. I accept, and we stay in this weird limbo for two weeks where there is the promise of a date, but we actually hadn't gone yet. Then, we went on a date. It went well, but I realized that he was kind of boring and I'm not super interested in him. I then texted him that I just wanted to be friends. Don't get me wrong, I think he's relatively good looking, but I just don't think we'd be good together.
I also do not have time to be in a relationship with anyone right now. I thought I did, but I honestly don't see the point in being with someone I'm not really interested in?
He hasn't made an effort to speak to me since?
I don't know what to do, I really want to be his friend, especially because we have a mutual friend, and because I hate knowing that he's hurt because of me.
I've never dated or kissed anyone before (lame, I know). Are my standards weird/too high?
TL;DR: | I want to be friends with someone I went on one date with, but he doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore? Are my standards weird/too high? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone have a worse friends with benifits story? (NSFW)
POST: A throwaway for obvious reasons. I was friends with this girl from college and we became fuck buddies. We would essentially call eachother up every time we were in the mood and it worked quite well. Since school kept us busy, we didn't have to pursue real relationships and could have a release for stress and someone to talk to as well.
Anyway. She has always been very hesitant about blowjobs. Just won't do them. So I called her up and she told me we couldn't have sex because she was on her period. I always just say "okay...we'll talk later" but I was thinking maybe I could get lucky with a blowjob. I basically asked her "can we do other things" and she said yes. I thought I was golden.
I go over to her place after my last class and she suggests we take a shower. I have never had a blowjob in the shower so I agree. We are making out pretty hardcore and I think she is moving her hand down to get herself going when she pulls out a bloody tampon. Blood begins to drip down her leg and into the water and there came a foul odor of which I had never smelled before. I live in a frat house and I can deal with most odors but this was too much. I tried to hold it back but I started puking all over the shower. I had just eaten pizza unfortunately so it covered the entire bottom of the shower.
I apolgize profusely and she asks why the hell I threw up in her shower. I told her I had no idea she was going to take out her tampon and it caught me off guard. She then replies "well, how are we have to have sex when I am on my period of I have my tampon in?" Then it all clicks. I felt so incredibly dumb. The only response I could think of was "I thought you meant you were going to give me a blowjob." She then tells me to leave and I get out and walk back to my dorm in a towel carrying my clothes.
Needless to say she won't return my calls or Facebook messages.
So have at it reddit? Has anyone had it worse?
TL;DR: | thought i was getting a blowjob. saw a bloody tampon and it smelled so bad that I vomited in her shower and was asked to leave. |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: [Tool] COIN FLIP: You have a 50% chance of winning chance of winning $150. You also have a 50% chance of losing $100. Do you take the gamble?
POST: Logically, the gamble is beneficial.
0.5($150) - 0.5($100) = +$25
WOO HOO! Twenty-five imaginary fucking dollars guaranteed! FUCK YEAH! Math demands you flip the motha-fucking coin!
But if we were truly rational, we wouldn't have any trouble getting and staying motivated. In reality many people aren't interested in flipping this coin because the likely possibility of losing $100 is a TERRIBLE outcome. You would be pissed to lose $100. You imagine the worse outcome, and that dissuades you from taking the risk.
**What does this mean?**
We are ***LOSS AVERSE***. Losing $20 is more emotionally **powerful** than finding $20. Getting dumped is way more emotionally **burdensome** than getting a boyfriend/girlfriend is exciting. The death of a loved one is way more emotionally **crippling** than the birth of a child is wonderful.
**SUMMARY**: We perceive losing something to be **dramatically worse** than gaining that same thing.
**How can this information help you?**
When you want to motivate yourself to something, reframe the motivation in the form of avoiding loss.
Trying to go to the gym? Don't think, "I want to go to the gym to GAIN a good body".
Think, "I want to go to the gym so I don't LOSE the body I'm trying to build".
Afraid to talk to the cute girl/guy sitting next to you on the bus?
Don't motivate yourself by saying, "She's/He's so attractive, I'd love to meet/date/slam this person"
Motivate yourself by saying, "If I don't talk to her/him, I'm going to LOSE this once in a lifetime opportunity. We may never cross paths again!"
TL;DR: | Humans perceive losing something to have greater emotional magnitude than gaining that identical thing. Use this to your advantage by framing your motivation as avoiding a loss rather than seeking a gain. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does she like me and should I ask her out. M(16) and F(17).
POST: Ok. So I am in high school, obviously, and there is this girl I have recently developed feelings for. She is only a few moths older than me (I turn 17 in a week) and I think she might like me too.
At school, she is in one of my classes. At first I didn't really know anyone in this specific class and it appeared that she didn't either. The first time I walked into the room I noticed how beautiful she was. Being too nervous to sit next to her on the first day I sat on the opposite side of the classroom. I continiued this pattern for around a week and a half.
One time I walked in the room and I thought to myself that I just had to get to know her. So I sat In an empty seat right next to her and struck up a conversation with her. Needless to say, I was very happy.
So after a few weeks I feel very comfortable being around her and talking to her. I attempt to flirt with her and it seems she does the same to me. When talking we frequently hold eye contact and she plays with her hair alot.
Then after class we both walk the same way so I walk with her and continiue laughing and talking. There is a fair/carnival coming to where I live in like a few weeks after I turn 17 and I thought I would ask her to go to that.
So Reddit, I like her and I believe she likes me. Can you all tell me if you think the same thing and should I ask her out?
TL;DR: | There is a girl who I have recently met and would like to know if you guys think she has feelings for me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (M 20) don't understand why my boyfriend (20) doesn't want to see my junk when we FaceTime.
POST: Let me start this off by saying that my boyfriend and I are very in love and are very much sexually compatible. We've been together since February, and have been somewhat long distance for the entirety of it, however, we make visits every 2-3 weeks/whenever it's affordable.
We've never sexted or had video chat sex, but it isn't like we're not into that kind of stuff. He's shown me his stuff over FaceTime before, and I've shown him mine. However, each time I do, he says he doesn't want to see it, claiming it's because he's not with me to do anything about it, or that he'll see it later that week in person. Part of me is rather offended by this, because he does get off to watching porn while looking at other guys' dicks, but for some reason refuses to do so while looking at mine.
I should also mention that we did go through a bit of a rough patch about a month ago when I found messages between him and a few guys sending each other dirty texts - no pics, just text. I blew up his spot about that, and he was extremely regretful and remorseful, so much so that he even threw up 3 times when faced with the very real possibility of me breaking up with him. He deleted the numbers of the guys he's hooked up with, and has unfriended nearly every gay guy off his Facebook. Now, I have since forgiven him, and we're past it, but I felt it could be relevant to the issue I'm having at the moment.
I want to confront him about this, but I don't want to make a big deal out of something that I could very well just be being a baby about. What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend doesn't like to get off to video sex with me, however, has no problem doing so with porn. Should I say something to him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Will I get out of this ticket with photographic evidence? GA Traffic Court
POST: In December of last year, I was rear-ended on the highway. I had been trying to merge right from as soon as I saw the merge signs, as the lane I was in was going to close due to construction. This was right after Christmas, so there was a lot of traffic. There were no opportunities to get over. I was gradually slowing down the entire time, as I knew that the lane would close soon. A pick-up truck had been following me closely since before the construction zone, and continued doing so the entire time I was slowing down. I was unable to merge, and came to a complete stop, entirely within my lane. I was hit moments later by the pick-up truck, on the right rear side of my vehicle.
I was shaken up by this, as I had never been involved in a collision while I was driving, and also because my girlfriend was a passenger. Neither of us were injured, but I was still very concerned about her. Both drivers were instructed to move our vehicles before an officer replied. I gave a statement to the officer who responded to the scene of the crash. My statement was apparently unclear. The driver of the truck that hit me was able to convince the officer that the collision was my fault. According to the traffic report, I "darted" in front of the truck, which was (again, according to the traffic report) in the right lane. This is not what happened, as I was at a complete stop, and the truck was traveling in the same lane as I was.
I was cited for an improper lane change, and now have to go to traffic court on Tuesday. I have pictures that show my car within the lines of the left lane, and the truck behind me, halfway into the right lane. I am also planning on bringing a letter from my girlfriend detailing what happened (though I know she is not an impartial witness). Will this be enough to get a not guilty verdict? Is there anything I should say, besides the facts?
TL;DR: | I was wrongfully cited for an improper lane change, and I have evidence that shows I did not change lanes at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20F] boyfriend [20M] of 2.5 years gave me his FB password so that I would "trust" him then deleted a bunch of messages.
POST: So Tom and I have been together for a while, but I still sometimes become suspicious. Part of it is because of my history of being cheated on, but part of it is because he does weird things like this.
So one time around a year into our relationship, I couldn't resist snooping his phone (not good, I know). I found some flirty and somewhat inappropriate messages between him and some girl. He assured me that I was overreacting and misreading the messages. Somehow I forgave him and I remember very little about the event now.
After this and a few other peculiar situations, he decided to give me his FB password and said that I can check whenever I want to see that he is being trustworthy. I would never have asked for his password and I know that the snooping I did one time was wrong and hurtful for both of us. But he gave me his password so I went on his FB, being curious. I scrolled down to try and find a few conversations that I knew he had had... for example, one with my ex boyfriend. And one with the girl who was with my ex after the ex and I broke up. These were gone. There were many other messages that were also gone. I mentioned to him that it was weird that he would give me his password yet delete his messages and he got mad at me for logging in. I asked why he gave me his password if he didn't want me to log in, and he said that he was basically testing me. I failed the test, apparently not showing enough trust.
I am extremely confused. Why would he give me his password if he was just going to delete things? Does the fact that he deleted some things mean that he is hiding something? I'm beginning to think that he is being a bit scarily manipulative for this and other reasons and I'm not sure if it's all in my head. Any advice is welcome. Please be respectful.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend gave me his fb password then deleted stuff and got very mad at me for logging in. His trend of oddly manipulative actions has me extremely confused, and I don't know what's going on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [17/f] and thinking about moving on.
POST: I'm coming out of a year long recovery period after a tough brake up. I used to date this guy and while the situation was complicated, our feelings were not. I can easily say that he was my first love.
My parents, however, were none too fond of this gentleman and (don't read into this too much) threatened to charge him with statutory rape. At the time I was 15 and he was 18 and obviously neither of us wanted this. We kept going for awhile but eventually the relationship became too difficult/ dangerous to pursue. He promised that if I ever wanted to contact him after I was 18, we could see where things stood between us and whether we wanted to be friends or pick things up where they left off. He also said that if I met someone or moved on, he wouldn't be hurt.
It's been a year now and I still think of him everyday (and I do mean that), and while I haven't moved on I think that I am ready to. When I meet new, interesting guys I sometimes look as them as potential partners. I think that I want to start dating again. The only problem is that I have no idea where to start looking. I've considered starting a profile on a dating website but I would have to lie about my age. Unfortunately, I'm neither good at nor enjoy socializing with large groups of people (i.e. anything more than 3 people, me included) and am bad at meeting new people in general.
I would like to mention at this point that I live in New Orleans and 17 is the age of consent in my state. Also, living in New Orleans and being a fairly attractive female, I can go to bars. Any ideas?
TL;DR: | I'm pretty young and pretty shy but live in a city where neither should matter. Give me advice on where to meet smart young men. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [21/F] go back to being FWB with old FWB [25/M]?
POST: Quick background information on me: was in a long 4-year relationship before ending it because I didn't see a future with my ex and started FWB with a friend shortly after.
My close friend and I were in a FWB-like relationship for 3 months since December, but we ended it because I started to have feelings. We acted very coupley (shower together, cuddle, watch Netflix, make dinner, grocery shopping, etc.) and I thought maybe this was an indication that he wanted to be with me, but he said it was all friendly. He doesn't see me as more than a friend and is not looking for a relationship.
We talked about it a week ago and decided not to have sex and to go back to being just friends. He's also a classmate of mine (we're in the same grad school program) that I have to see every day since we are in the same circle of friends, and I thought it was going to be awkward being just friends with him again - it wasn't. It's like nothing ever happened and I like how our friendship is now.
However, I have realized that since I am in graduate school, I do not have time to date or try to be in a relationship. I just want someone to have sex with. I only see my old FWB as a friend now (I've realized he is not someone I want to date since there are things I don't like about him). I feel like trying FWB again with him except now we can be more open and I know that if we stop things will be okay. Should I go back to being FWB with someone who I am comfortable with, is convenient, and who I have amazing sex with?
TL;DR: | started having feelings for FWB, ended it, I don't see him romantically anymore, still need someone to bang, yes or no? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, help me find the name of the group of people who believe their homes get invaded by pranksters.
POST: This is going to be hard to explain but a few years ago I remember reading some truly batshit crazy articles in some real back-ally type places of the internet. The gist of what I learned is that there is a small group of highly paranoid people out there who absolutely believe that their houses are being broken into by people who then proceed to play sort of juvenile pranks on them. Some examples I remember are, slightly lowering the levels of food, like creamer, sugar, coffee and the like. This would drive the home owner to make level marks along with the date on much of their food containers. Switching brand new towels to very old and worn looking ones. Placing what looked like months of dust build-up on recently dusted furniture. You can get the idea. As far fetched as it is, these people truly believed it was happening and b/c their homes were being entered, felt very violated by these perceived acts. I'm pretty sure there was a name for all this, not like a diagnosis of it, but a name they came up for what was happening to themselves and I'd love to find it again. There were some really entertaining sites about it.
TL;DR: | Help me find articles on, or the name of the the small group of people who firmly believe their homes get invaded by pranksters who then terrorize their homes while they're away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [15F] with my bf [18M] of 6 months, I feel weird about the age difference
POST: We live in different countries in Europe, met through a video game. He visited me this Summer, he'll be visiting in December too.
He's a great guy, he's extremely caring and protective (though very jealous too), he's got a great humour and he's **always** there for me when I need him. He's got trouble with anger, but he's great at putting things behind him once they're solved.
Even though we're almost opposites, we compliment eachother very well.
That said, I feel really weird about the age difference, even though it's legal where we live. I had a weird feeling about it from the start, I couldn't imagine an 18 year old being interested in a 15 year old for anything besides sex.
Everyone else is (seems to be) okay with it. My parents don't mind, his parents don't mind, my friends don't mind, his friends don't mind. He doesn't mind. But I cannot help but feel bothered about it. I see a lot of comments on this sub about age differences, and even though ours won't be big at all in the future (if we get there), I feel like it's a problem right now. I'm 15, I'm still a child. He's an adult.
When dating younger they say you can safely date someone half your age+7 years. He's 18, half is 9, add 7 and he should be dating someone 16 years or older. I'll be 16 in less than a month, but I still feel weirdly guilty about it.
I'd appreciate some older and more mature peoples opinions on this. Are my thoughts justified? Should I just roll with it?
TL;DR: | 15 year old girl with 18 year old MAN, feels weird about the age difference. What do? (if anything at all?) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] and GF [20F] broke up because we had to. How do I cope?
POST: I just finished my last semester of college. Never had a girlfriend until I met this girl in December. We got along so well and she really taught me what it meant to love someone. Almost no issues, good communication but she didn't really have anything going for her. I've had my job secured since November which is requiring me to move to TX for 4 years. So both of us knew going into it that it would most likely end and we would go our separate ways. Fast forward to March I finally ask her out. We spend all of our free time together and things get serious. We start talking about the future and moving to TX with me. Her other option was to move a bit further north to her dads.
In the end I just want her to be happy and the biggest thing of her being that young and not going to school was she never fully matured and got the experience to be independent. So we talked about it a lot and I really bought into the idea that she would move with me once she got some time to herself to figure it out. Two weeks ago she moved to her Dads to go figure it out. We've been talking on the phone here and there and basically decided to split up. I don't want to let her go at all and she doesn't want to give me up. But she doesn't want to live in TX for 4 years. She doesn't even know what she wants to do yet. It's been really hard for me to adjust not being with her all the time and with the way she's pushing me away hurts even more. Ironically she's the one being stronger and more mature in this situation but I can't shake it. I know I should be open to other opportunities but I really just don't want to let her go. I feel like once I move we will just rarely talk and I'll just keep looking back at what we had and try to win her over somehow. Is it even feasible for me to think we can get back together one day? I just need help coping with this.
TL;DR: | girlfriend and I broke up because we couldn't move to the same place. I don't want to let her go. How do I cope? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Mom does not support anything I do, and puts down what I like
POST: My mom has no idea who I am or what I do. I live with her, but not once has she shown any real interest in who I am as a person, what my capabilities are, and what I enjoy. She sees everything in a very convenient lens, the window of us being home from 5PM-9PM every night.
She will drink the entire time, and then comment on how I should "get off the pot" when I use it at night after all of my homework is done, I go to the gym, etc. Why the fuck should I even have to defend myself when I'm 22?
Also, every time I go to her with any kind of idea or interest, she simply will shoot it down by talking about money or how "are you sure you want to get into that?" I'm not asking you to help me, but some interest in who I am and what I'm doing would be great.
This does not help when I am kind. My kindness has not ever changed her. As a result, I am short and of course I don't want to talk to her. She'll only make it worse by trying to guilt me by saying " I Know you hate me" and "I know you hate talking to me." No shit I don't like talking to you, because every time I do I feel like a lesser human.
One day I told her I was tired of her not supporting anything I ever bring up, so she said finally "don't worry about what I have to say! Go do what you love!" So I finally started my own project, and I began my own stream on Twitch.tv. The other day, she comes into my room without even knocking, after I texted her telling that if she says anything to me or interrupts, you'll be interrupting my stream. She doesn't care. Doesn't try to understand. Her response? "Are you sure you should be doing that on a school night?" YOU TOLD ME TO DO WHAT I WANTED, BACK OFF.
I cannot begin to explain how tired I am of her. I can't even move out because I can't afford it.
TL;DR: | Mom has no interest in what I do and puts down what I genuinely enjoy. After all this time feeling a lack of support or interest, I feel ready to flip. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [20/m] thinks I [19/f] should transfer colleges so I can live with him
POST: My boyfriend is in the Navy and we've been dating for about 3 months now, with one month being long distant when I moved 4 hours away to go back to college. It's a short relationship but we spent almost everyday, all day together over the summer and we love each other. I'm currently attending school at the USC in hopes of getting my Masters in genetic counseling, but my boyfriend keeps saying I should transfer to a community college where he is so we can be closer since he's still going to be down there for 2 more years and I've still got 4-5 more years until I'm finished with all my schooling. He says I should quit on genetics counseling and become a teacher because it'd be less school and it'd be easier to find a job anywhere. Long term, I'm not sure what to do. I want to be with him, but I also want to continue with my career goal.
TL;DR: | Should I [19/f] change career goals and transfer to a community college so I can be with my boyfriend [20/m]? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: (21M) Last week of internship, crush on coworker, want to get a gift
POST: Little bit of background. I'm a rising senior in college and am currently doing an internship at a startup company. The company is kind of small (around 50 employees total across two branches) and because of that there are only a few interns. In the office I am working at it is just me and this other intern who is a girl in the same grade as me.
I'm usually kind of shy and so is she, but we kind of hit it off quite well and I really enjoy her company. She did mention she had a boyfriend once, a month ago, but hasn't really spoken about it since. Now, I've been the other guy and am trying really hard not to damage their relationship since it's unrealistic for us to be together anyways (we go to different schools in different states). But I really would like to get her a small gift to show how much I liked getting to know her. My question is, is this an okay thing to do and would this make you feel weird? As a guy, if I had a girlfriend who received a gift from a friend I wouldn't mind at all but I've been told I'm a little too relaxed. Thoughts? Thanks!
TL;DR: | Crush on coworker during internship, want to get her a gift to remember me by, is this awkward for her and for her boyfriend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being too eager in trying find a job
POST: A bit of context... I just finished high school and was looking for a job, any job really cause of my lack of (any) experience.
So I made a bunch of applications... and surprise surprise got no responses for a while. I had planned a trip to Thailand (I live in Sydney) so two weeks after school off I went!
The land of the coconuts was great! People, food, culture, there wasn't much more I could ask for. So anyways a week in I get a missed call from Australia and seeing as though it was an number not stored in my contacts I thought it'd be important and better return it.
Turns out someone wanted to hire me! And it was one of those *revolutionary* new companies that did interviews on the phone. So forgetting I was in Thailand I had a nice chat with the manger. He was amazing and after a while we started getting off topic... you know, talking shit about each's others football teams and stuff. I was so happy I was finally going to get hired! The call was probably closer to an hour than anything but it was good.
Nek minnit (that's really gone out of fashion hey) I get back to Australia.... live a few days in peace and then the phone bill comes. After looking through it I realised the idiot in me had successfully made a phone cost costing six months worth of wages (quick calculation) in a job I didn't even have. Well done.
TL;DR: | Lost six month worth of wages by bantering with the manger in a job interview conducted over the phone whilst on holidays in Thailand. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Forgive or Punch?
POST: Let me rewind this a couple of months: Me and this kid were pretty much best friends. Hung out, did everything together. I loved him like a brother. Then one random day, he comes up to me and asks: So how did your brother cheat on the AP tests and SAT tests? Now I love my brother, and he never cheated on a fucking thing in life. I let it slide and said, "He didn't." He then proceeded to tell everyone about my brother's "cheating". I immediately called him and told him that we weren't friends anymore and that he could go get fucked. He has since moved to Texas (I live in Cali). Our common friends remained "neutral", but I knew they always believed I overreacted and that I should apologize, and have honestly sided with him. His old friends still at my school harass me and still spread rumors about me. Please guys, I appreciate any advice before I do something stupid which I know I will soon.
TL;DR: | Friend lied about my big brother. I stopped talking to him. Common/his old friends harass me. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17/F] with my old friend [17/F] , how to get back into a friendship
POST: This girl and I have known each other since kindergarten, we used to be best friends growing up until 5th/6th grade. We started hanging out again in 7th grade for a year maybe and disconnected again. We've always had a connection when were together but things have definitely changed since 7th grade since we're seniors now. Her and I bumped into each other last week and she's saying we should hang out soon.
I know she's drawn to the more popular side and i'm kinda on the acquantinces with some popular people but i have my own friend group. I've gone through a lot and developed depression my sophmore year. Which it has drawn some of the people i like the most away. I'm really afraid to get back into a friendship and if my depression gets bad again or she wants to hang out a lot i wouldn't want to.
TL;DR: | What should I do? I want to get back into the friendship but I'm afraid she won't like me anymore or think of me differently. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Need advice: "0% APR on Balance Transfers" and Intelligently Managing CC Debt
POST: First time posting on PF and using a throwaway since some of the info is personal. Really appreciate any advice on my situation.
I have two credit cards--a Capital One Visa at ~9% APR and another AMEX at ~12%. My credit line is $30k with Capital One and $21k with AMEX, and I have about $16k in debt on each card. However, I'm a homeowner with a good credit score and I'm not particularly worried about being able to pay these off once I sell my house in the next year or two. Just refi'd as well so not planning on having credit score pulled any time soon.
On to the question: Capital One offered a 0% APR for 12 months on Balance Transfers (with a 3% balance transfer fee). I'm tempted to take advantage of this, but not sure what the smartest thing to do is RE: total credit used on each account and the effect it will have on my credit score (and card rates). Ultimately, I'm trying to reduce the amount of interest I'm paying each month without opening myself up to other issues. Would it be smartest to:
1) continue as-is, two cards with two balances and weight paying down the higher interest rate first
2) move a small portion of my AMEX balance ($4k?) to Capital one, so they're both at a similar debt:credit ratio (~60%)
3) move near the max from my AMEX to Capital One ($10k? more?) and work on paying off the AMEX entirely
4) something else
Thanks for any advice and happy to try to answer questions below.
TL;DR: | what are some good rules for taking advantage of "0% APR for 12 months on balance transfers" (with 3% fee) that give you maximum savings while not impinging on debt:credit ratio and my credit score? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my SO [27 F], he doesn't know that he doesn't love me
POST: My SO of 1 year is a wonderful and caring man. We've had issues in the past about an instance of his infidelity and some problems about my weight (he likes tiny girls) but we've worked through them. We live together.
This SO is the only person that I actually *can* read. I know how his likes/dislikes. I know when he's upset, when his head hurts, when he's too sleepy, what he'd like to eat. I can predict his reactions to different situations.
And he says different, but the same gut instinct tells me he doesn't love me.
I know he cares for me a great deal, but he doesn't love me. I've expressed this to him; he's baffled by the notion.
There is just something lacking, and there has been since the beginning of our relationship. I've never been able to shake off the feeling that I just *know* he doesn't love me. We never had the initial passionate honeymoon period, he's never been all over me (I told myself then it was because of my weight, as previously mentioned, but when I put everything together, it's just another indicator). He's not romantic or especially affectionate; he is a mild, sometimes traditional Catholic, but doesn't want to ever marry (me, afaik).
He says he loves me more than anyone he's ever loved. I actually don't think he's ever been in love- he displays a lack of knowledge about the usual feelings of love and has never been heartbroken.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend doesn't love me, says he does. I think he doesn't know that he doesn't love me. What do, reddit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32 M] with my gf [27 F] 6 months, How to help her when she's feeling down without fueling her negativity?
POST: My girlfriend will get upset and then doubt whether her feelings are valid or legitimate. It's a very thoughtful process. To give an example she'll be upset with a friend who doesn't reciprocate in terms of level of interest and investment. Then she'll doubt whether she should be feeling that way.
Typically I come in and validate what she's feeling because I feel they're valid. But, when they're negative she just spirals. Of course I try to interject some positivity or optimism, but it's a balancing act between recognizing her feelings are valid but also encouraging her to look on the bright side or to try to work through that negativity.
Sometimes though I feel like by validating her feelings I'm encouraging her negativity. The thing is I don't find her negativity unrealistic or incorrect. She'll make assessments of a situation or a person and they're quite spot on usually. I'm the happy go lucky guy who typically looks past transgressions.
I know she values being challenged when incorrect, I just don't think she's wrong most of the time and I'm not sure she realizes that. I'm not a yes man, I just find her point of view to be correct about people usually (except in this case haha).
I don't want her to be mad at her friends, but when she comes to me and presents a situation and I side with her (not only because she's my girlfriend, but I genuinely feel she's in the right) it feels like I'm supporting her negativity at times. And I know that while she values my opinion on the face of it, she definitely feels I pull for her on a default basis.
I know it's abstract, I just wonder if anyone has any insight.
TL;DR: | How do you validate someone's negativity/feelings of anger without it feeling like you're fueling discontent in their lives? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the most MIND-BENDING or MOOD-ALTERING thing to happen to you while on a psychedelic drug???
POST: A few years back I was walking back to my apartment from a friend's house in South Philadelphia at around 6am after a long night of tripping on mushrooms. I was still mildly tripping, and so the decision to finally leave felt like one of great magnitude. Being a poor art student, I left with a ziplock baggie of some cat food that he'd given me for my cat. As I shut the door behind me, I set out for my adventure back to Center City- about a 20 minute walk. People all around me were leaving for work, and I felt strange, exhausted, and out of place with 1001 things on my mind for no good particular reason. Suddenly, I see a bright brand new Cerulean blue ST-I parked on a side street, shimmering in the morning sun. What's more is, under the gleaming car there's a gorgeous little lone kitten hiding behind the tire closest to the curb. Realizing I had some cat food on me, I reached into my backpack and got some out to leave for it in hopes to make a cute little friend during my travels. As I reach to lay some food out, the little kitten became frightened by my movement towards it and ran the opposite way, towards the street. When I walked around to meet it on the other side of the car, I was horrified that the poor little kitten had been mangled-perhaps by another animal....It looked like the front half of an adorable kitten with the back half of a squeezed toothpaste tube. Legs crooked and writhing, dried blood and matted fur....The remnants of my mushroom trip went from happy and delighted to see such a cute kitten in its earliest stages of life to my entire world being distressed- muddled in a sea of emotions comprised of an intense sympathy and a perplexed disgust.... As the kitten struggled with all of its infantile strength to use the front legs to pull the mangled rest of him, I walked away in deep thought of the basic workings of life- and how sometimes you're the stronger kitten that makes it and has a healthy life-----and sometimes, you're that mangled kitten that just isn't going to make it.
TL;DR: | I was tripping on 'shrooms, saw an adorable kitten- went to go feed it, and turns out it had been MANGLED HORRIBLY. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My fiance's [32/m] family still communicates with his ex even though I have expressed that it bothers me [24/f]. Is it too dramatic to ask that they not be involved in the wedding?
POST: I'll attempt to keep this brief but include all of the details.
My fiance and I have been together for 2 years now. This particular ex was his most recent ex but they only dated for a few months. She refuses to acknowledge that I exist but insists on hanging out with the family. She invites everyone but me and my fiance to outings and forbids her friends and family from interacting with us.
I'm offended that no one sees a problem with this and seems to care more about her feelings than ours. She has said that she thinks it would be too hard to be around me and my fiance so she requested that we not be invited to the same events. In response his family invites her to things and not us sometimes.
I'm not one to make a scene but I have suggested in passing that we all hang out and get rid of the bad blood or that she move on. No one pays attention to me. On the other hand they are very involved in wedding plans. I'm irritated by their lack of loyalty and respect for our feelings. Can I ask them to come but not be involved in the wedding?
TL;DR: | My fiance's family is so involved with his ex that I don't want them involved in the wedding. Is that too dramatic? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (17 F) boyfriend (19 M) just got out of a relationship four months ago. how do i know if i'm just the rebound girl?
POST: so
i have kinda liked this guy since i was like a freshman (he was a junior at the time), but i of course never expected anything to come from it, esp since he had a girlfriend.
[we are both INTJs, if that helps. and extreemely similar]
after being broken up with for about the 3rd time by the same girl, he started talking to me more often. I, obviously, didn't think about the fact that they just broke up and the possibility of me being a distraction at the time.
anyway, i found out through a mutual friend that he had liked me for a while (idk if there was any overlap with his previous relationship) and so we started talking.
im not exaggerating here-- we talked almost all day, every single day for three months (this summer). finally after a long time of waiting, he asked me out.
now, my doubt is starting to flood in. i think i might be in love with him but I'm very wary of expressing most of my emotions usually -even with myself- and with something as serious as this, i cant help but think that im being used (maybe subconsciously) as the rebound, in an attempt to get over his ex.
im relatively good friends with his friends and they are unsure of his intentions either, since he's pretty private.
does anyone have advice as to where i should go from here?
im seriously really scared to ask him, but i guess im more scared of his reply.
TL;DR: | he started talking to me right after he was dumped by his longtime on/off gf and now we are dating. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Getting back together with your ex
POST: My gf [22F] and I [19M] recently broke up after dating for 15 months. We both felt like we were growing apart after spending all summer away from each other. We came to this conclusion after only 2 weeks of being together after that separation. I realized what a mistake this break up was and how much I still love her. I went to her place yesterday (we had been broken up for almost 2 weeks) and told her I thought we should get back together and all the reasons why. She said that we can't because she realized in those 2 weeks we were broken up that she had changed a lot for me and wasn't the same person anymore. Apparently I was too controlling. She also said she was happier than she had been in awhile (not sure how to take that). I also realized during the break that I wasn't a great boyfriend. I had always meant to change and be better, but never did because it was difficult and I never thought she would leave me. Now I'm motivated to change, and want to show her I can. I'm not only doing it for her, but for me as well. It needs to be done either way. I love her so much and just want her back. I would give anything to be with her. She also thinks that it's for the better this way, because her older brother went through the same thing and is now thankful that he didn't get back together with his ex. But it doesn't seem right to compare us to other relationships. We're different. I also talked to a friend who got back together with her ex boyfriend after breaking up for the same reason, and they are perfectly happy now. Problem is I can't really relay this information to my ex. What am I supposed to do to convince her we should be together?
TL;DR: | Wanting to get back together with my ex girlfriend. Broke up because she thinks I was too controlling but I want to change that. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20f] am having trouble with my SO of a year's [23m] weed dependency
POST: I don't smoke myself. I don't think it's bad or anything, but I have personal issues as to why I don't. To make a long story short, my neglectful father would spend his and my mother's last dime buying himself weed rather than getting my brother and I (at the time we were 1 and 3 years old) dinner. The smell alone brings back bad memories of my parents fighting and it makes me uncomfortable.
My boyfriend smokes it every day, maybe a couple times a day. I think he's starting to hide it from me, so I'm not sure. I've explained to him why I don't want to smoke and he understands. I asked him not to smoke around me, but he does anyway because I can only see him on his days off from work and on those days he just wants to smoke and relax. He also tells me it helps him sleep, too, so he smokes before bed as well. I understood that and do the best I can to put up with the smell.
However, he tells me that he has been struggling with money, enough to the point that he can afford to get himself food, but not me. He can't afford to take me on dates (I'm not working at the moment, so I can't pitch in). I'm really simple and don't mind a day inside with a movie, so I'm okay with that. Though, last night, he spent about $50 on some weed from a co-worker. This is starting to sound familiar.. Kind of like my relationship with my father I described earlier.
I honestly am doing my best to accept that he smokes and was doing really well up until last night. I've already talked to him about how I felt about him smoking and we keep coming to the conclusion that it isn't a bad thing, so I'm working on suppressing the bad memories I have tied in with it. I just don't know what to do about him spending money he claims he doesn't have on it.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend claims that he needs weed to help him relax and sleep. I don't smoke/have bad memories with it. I was fine with him smoking until he spent money he claims he doesn't have on weed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Feel like I'm caught up on the wrong person.
POST: I (M20) have been talking to this girl (F20) for about two years now. We met in college back in 2014. I have since moved back home and am going to college here while she is still away. We live two hours apart. I've had a crush on her for about a year now but have never really said anything for fear of rejection. But about a month ago she told me she had a crush on me. I originally thought hey this is great! As I have no problem with trying a long distance thing. From what I can tell, she feels the opposite. For one, she's terrible at texting back sometimes. 3-4 hours between texts at times. I really do like her and I'd like to think she feels the same way. She's told me that if she moves to Louisville she'd love to try and make something work but that's not for another two years. I just don't think it's healthy on my part to be so caught up with her. I feel like I'm TOO attached and getting nothing in return in hopes of maybe eventually getting something. Please help.
TL;DR: | Still text old friend from college, have a crush on her, she has a crush on me but lives 2 hours away and doesn't want to do long distance thing. don't know what to do about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] dating [25 F] for 2 months, told her I got tested for STDs and she freaked out
POST: I was trolling reddit a couple of months ago, and ran across a post where this guy inadvertently gave his GF cold sores and the GF freaked out. There was a pretty long discussion on general STD testing, and from what I gathered from the thread, it is usually a good idea for everyone to get tested before getting into a new relationship, and if you do have something, you should disclose that to your potential partner. Shortly after I read that reddit post, I was at the doctors for my annual physical and I also requested to get tested for STDs. I got a full panel of tests and they all came back negative.
I mention I got tested to the person I've been dating for about 2 months after she makes a joke about STDs, and she kind of freaked out. She is a nurse and says that no one gets tested unless their sluts, have been with prostitutes, or do drugs (I've never been with prostitutes or have done intravenous drugs...dunno about being slut tho), and now she "is questioning me." I've been with a couple of women from the last time I've had some type of STD test (donated blood), and after reading that reddit post, I wanted to know for sure that I didn't have anything.
Did I mess up my chances in telling her that I got an STD test? From another subreddit, being open about testing seemed to be widely accepted...but as I thought about it more, STDs never came up in any of my other prior relationships. If it matters, at the point in time that I told her, our relationship was not yet intimate.
TL;DR: | Got tested for STDs before entering into a relationship, person I was dating freaked out when I told her I got tested. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Is my Vet scamming me?
POST: A month ago I brought my 10yr old Lhasa Apso to my vet for a routine dental cleaning. After they have put him under, I got a call from them telling me that they saw high level of liver enzymes from the blood test. The vet told me that the dental has to be rescheduled and they happened to have the radiologist come in that day so they can try to squeeze in an ultrasound for my dog to check his liver. I immediately agreed to it and told them to do whatever is needed to find out what's wrong.
By the end of the day, the vet prescribed a month of antibiotics and two other liver supplements. I paid $800 for the blood test, ultrasound and two anesthesia (first for the dental and second for the ultrasound).
The vet said that they saw some growth in his liver that could be cancerous and she would want us to bring him back in a month for another ultra sound. We were not shown any test results - no reports of the blood work or ultra sound.
I called them back yesterday to schedule the follow up check up. They told me that they will work with the radiologist to schedule the ultrasound. I got a call a couple of minutes after the conversation from the vet again telling me that they want us to bring him in a couple of days before the ultrasound for an additional blood test which will be an additional $85. So, I will probably need to prepare for another $800 for two blood test, anesthesia, and ultrasound.
I have no problem paying the money. But I just don't want to put my dog through another round of anesthesia if it is not necessary. I just didn't have a good feeling about the vet since she never shared any test reports with us and she was so quick to use the word cancer right away. My dog has not been showing any signs of illness or whatsoever and I don't want to put him through unnecessary medical procedures.
I am thinking that before I agree to more procedures, I should at least ask for a report of the test results and get a second opinion. Would that be considered as rude? I don't want to offend the vet.
Do you guys think I am being scammed?
TL;DR: | Vet is recommending expensive procedures and never shown any test results or reports. Is it rude for ask for test results for second opinion? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28M] Girlfriend [25F] keeps her ex's tshirt by her bed
POST: We've been dating for about 8 months. Let me preface this by saying that there is so much I like about this girl. She's sweet, caring, and adorable. I really was starting to see the possibility of a life with her.
On to the issue however... There was one instance where she was texting her ex a while back, she was open and honest about it, I told her it bothered me, and it hasn't been an issue since. Fast forward a few months, things have been really good between us. She had a lot of work stress as she had just started a new job as a kindergarten teacher, but I've really tried to help her work through it and be there for her. She is so much less overwhelmed than she used to be, and our relationship has been better because of that.
Now I recently found this random t shirt by her bed, which I thought was odd because it was a medium, she wears a small. I asked her about it, she says Oh it's no big deal it's just a shirt I wear to bed every once in a while. Ok whatever, I get that. Fast forward to today though, I have a ton of time on my hands and I start looking at old photos on Facebook, and I see the shirt.. On her ex. It's her ex's shirt. Presumably she's keeping it beside her when she sleeps?
I feel like she can't let this guy go. She has told me that they dated for 6 years off and on. I was in a relationship like that myself, but the girl went on to get married. I know how addictive those relationships can be. I've told her that and that I worry about her going back to him or not being able to move on.
What do I do in this situation? I really care about this girl. I've put so much more of myself into this relationship than I have with any in the past. I'm lost. I feel like she feels the same about me, but why would she be hanging on to his stuff?
Please. Need advice. She doesn't know that I know yet, I need to know how to approach this situation.
TL;DR: | gf keeps ex's t shirt by her bed, lied to me about it and said it was hers. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Dating a girl 22/f for 4 months. still don't know where I stand and what to do. help
POST: I asked this girl out maybe 7-8 times and things are going really smoothly, but we never had a serious talk about a relationship. i'm happy with things the way they are but im not sure weather she is clear with that. we have known each other for almost two years now and we almost text non stop. things have been going great since we met and i really feel like a better person when shes around. im always comfortable around her and i love to talk to her. however i dont know if this should be moved into something serious because im not ready for that commitment right now. Dont know what to do with her because i don't want to lead her on, then hurt her in the end, and i dont want to let things die down too much because that would just be really awkward (were in the same college and have a lot of friends in common)
TL;DR: | i have been out with this girl many times however i dont know where i stand, for me im not ready to commit too much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with [20F] girlfriend of 10 months, feel like she cancels plans too much.
POST: When it comes to actually spending time together, talking, etc, everything is really good and exactly how I want it to be. The amount of time we make PLANS to see each other is perfect for me (Once or twice a week) but the amount of time it actually happens isn't. She cancels or cuts plans short the majority of the time. I know she is busy and i am too, and that sometimes life gets in the way, but it's at an unacceptable amount to me.
For example, in the last month we made plans to see eachother 6 times. Twice it went off without any problems. Once she forgot about our plans, until halfway through them, so we only got to spend a little bit of time together. Once she called 2 days before to cut 2-3 hours down to one hour. Twice she completely cancelled.
Am I being needy being unhappy with this, or is it unacceptable? If I have to cancel with her, (which is very occasional), i let her know asap, and arrange another time we can meet that's close. I'd be totally fine with that, sometimes, stuff comes up, and Id understand if things didn't go perfectly EVERY time, but she just straight up cancels or cut things short without offering any alternative so often. She tells me she really likes me, and when we hang out or talk i can really feel it, but i feel awful when she constantly cancels on me. I've brought it up before, and she either deflects, or gets really annoyed with me.
I don't know if i should break up with her or not. Is this acceptable behaviour or not? I've had this issue with both her and my one other major girlfriend - i'm starting to think this is normal behaviour.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend cancels or cuts short the majority of our plans (But every other aspect of our relationship is great). Is this normal or unacceptable, and what do you think i should do about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I have a crush on my friend and want to make a move... but should I? [24F & 25M]
POST: We actually met on a dating site and went on a few dates, but at that time he met another girl he wanted to date more seriously, so we parted ways. I started dating another guy as well (although it only lasted a few months) but we kept in touch - mostly chatting online, just casual 'Hey, how's it going?' type conversations every few days.
He broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago, and since then we've been talking more and more online. Hours every day, at this point. He's mentioned that he made a new dating site profile and I haven't stated an opinion on that but... deep down I really want to try dating him again.
I barely saw him at all when he was dating his ex, which I thought was odd considering we talked all the time and we were just friends. Since they broke up, though, we've started hanging out a bit more. A couple weeks ago I invited him to go out for drinks with me, but he didn't feel like going out so he invited me to come over and watch movies. I went and we hung out for hours, but he didn't make any sort of move, so I figured "Ok, solidly in the friendzone." I invited him to a holiday party last week, so he came and we had a great time. Still no 'move', but we spent a lot of time cuddled up on the couch talking. We're planning to hang out on New Years Eve with some of my friends, too.
So the main question is, should I give up and accept that we'll always just be friends or should I take a chance and tell him I'm interested again? I think we'd still be friends even if he rejected me (after I recovered, of course) but I don't want to put myself out there if there's no hope. What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | Interested in dating a good friend, but I dont want to ask if there's no hope. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] girlfriend [21F] of 6 months is upset with me because I can't go with her to a family event
POST: About two weeks ago she asked me to come with her family to her grandma's, which is about two hours away. I've already met her grandma and we get along great. We'd be spending the night at her house and coming back the next day. I told her it was a maybe, as I'll have to see what I have going on closer to when the time comes. Today she brought it back up - we'd get there on the 20th, and come back on the 21st or 22nd, so now we may potentially stay 2 nights. I just recently found out my lifelong friend that moved across the country in July is coming back on the 20th, and I really want to be there to see him. I explained this to her, and now she's upset with me. Am I in the wrong here?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is angry I won't go to her grandma's because my lifelong friend that moved across the country is coming back on the same day. Am I being insensitive? How can I mend this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most amount of money you've found on the ground by accident? If so, did you keep it?
POST: I thought up this question looking around ask.reddit, I'm 15 years old, almost 16 now. Recently, I found some money, it was 20$, that was the most money I've ever found on the ground by accident. What happened was that I was skating with a couple of friends after there was a storm the other day. My friend and I found a wallet with 40$ in it, the bills were all soaked and wet. That didn't matter to us, we got so lucky even seeing it to begin with. We kept the money, because there wasn't a chance that the person who lost his wallet could of found it. Especially since, there weren't anything else in the wallet, like an ID.
TL;DR: | My friend and I found 40$ in a wallet, we split it and kept it, because we couldn't give it back to the owner. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can my work legally do this?
POST: So I'm at work right now and we just got our christmas schedule. To keep it simple we normally work 36 hours one week and 48 the next and we work every other weekend. On our longer weeks we get 8 hours of overtime. For the week of christmas we have to work christmas eve and we are off on christmas. We get paid holidays but this year they aren't giving us the holiday on christmas eve or christmas and instead giving our holidays to us the following week (which we are shutdown). Just wondering how legality of this plays out. Thanks reddit.
TL;DR: | we have to work christmas eve getting paid straight time because they "moved" the holiday to the following week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Multiple cases of serving alcohol to minors. (Florida)
POST: Hello,
I am, along with several of my friends, being charged with serving alcohol to a minor which is Florida statute 562.11(1)(a). The law is listed at:
Backstory:
My friends and I are all in the same fraternity. A celebration of sorts was being had and an individual got quite too drunk that night. Being responsible, we had sober people drive him to the hospital.
Cue to next morning, he is driving home from the hospital when he is pulled over by an officer. Not realizing the hospital did not give him his ID back, he panicked and told the officer what had happened.
From here an investigation was opened into our club for other charges by the school which we were found not guilty of.
6 months later now several of us in particular have received a Summons to Appear in court with a court date coming up soon.
I speak with a lawyer on Thursday however some of my other friends have already spoken to one and they are all being offered differed prosecution of 4 months of no criminal activity, some fines, and we can have this all taken care of and off our record.
I am not sure where they are getting this evidence from as I have not spoken to any officers. I have done nothing for the past 6 months however to be dropped with this all of a sudden something doesn't seem right.
The first one to speak to a lawyer essentially said the prosecution would like to make an example of us that "fraternity men can't act the way they do."
I'm also 20 years old, was 20 at the time of the charge, clearly a minor.
I feel as if something is wrong with the prosecution of this.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
TL;DR: | Fraternity party, 6 months later, several being charged with serving alcohol to minors, all being charged are minors, something seems fishy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Newbie looking for help
POST: Hi r/loseit been a bit of a lurker here for the last month or so whilst trying to kick-start my own progress, thought I would finally make a post and attempt to get the advice I need. I'm a 6'3" male, 20 years old and 280 pounds. I played rugby from the ages of 6-16, but a serious ankle injury put me out never to return. Due to that I'd say I'm a weird composition of kinda athletic but still fat. My legs and back are toned, but I have hella gut fat. I've yo-yo'd the last 3 years between 18.5/21 stone, but I guess something kinda snapped in me this summer and now I am determined to finally drop all this fat. I have been following the Couch to 5K app (C25K) for about a month now and feel fitness is improving as well as seeing loss in weight (girlfriend, friends and family noticed) and been doing roughly 5k of vigorous cycling 3 both 3 times a week. I've also downloaded My Fitness Pal (MFP) and have been starting to try and eat at 1500 calories a day. My issue however is I do not know if any of this will be effective? I assume it will, but then I see people here talking about weight lifting and such and feel like I'm missing some crucial info. I also have the issue that for all I'm eating at a deficit, I'm still unsure of what to eat. I find myself having chicken every second night either in fajitas a stir fry or just with rice. I've been very strict with myself on myself with fizzy drinks etc. I have had a 9-5 full time job this summer and drink only water when there, and switch only to diluted juice when at home. I go back to uni at the end of September and plan to continue this. Ultimately I'm here because you guys seem to know your shit and I'd really like even a quick guide in the righr direction of what I'm doing right or wrong and what to change. I wanna aim for about 17.5 stone by Christmas, which is a loss of roughly 2.5/3 stone in 3.5 months. Any help would be greatly appreciated
TL;DR: | 280 pounds 6'3" Male 20 years old, wanna shift the fat and determined to do it, just not sure of how/the best way to do it. Hoping someone here can guide me on the right lines. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [28m] in 3.5 year relationship with [24f] not sure what to do.
POST: I'm not sure what to do so why not ask some strangers. 3.5 year relationship going well. We have in the past almost broke up, and I almost left 4-5 months ago for another girl which so happens to be my best friend.
Current gf ask about engagement and marriage like any girl being in a long relationship. When I think about all of that I am very unclear if and when that would happen.
For whatever reason in the back of my head I keep thinking about the girl I almost left my gf for. We still talk, and I keep getting drawn back to her regardless what happens. We talk a lot and flirt etc.
Honestly I'm not sure what to do. I do know I need to figure this out soon though because it is not fair to either of them. I just kind of feel stuck and I do not like it at all.
Feel free to ask questions and try to help as you can.
TL;DR: | I'm not sure if I should stay with my gf or leave for another girl i've known for 3 years that I consider my best friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of two years, dismissed everything about me
POST: We had decided long ago that marriage is weird, and that we would never think of it because love and commitment were enough. We scoffed at it. It was a joke between us.
Within these two years, I helped her through stress, depression, tangible help with her career.
She went through alopecia and for four months (yes, fourth months in a two year relationship), I received only and only this message from here every single day every other hour - "My hair! My hair is going! Why are you not doing anything! You are useless and pretentious." (Not exaggerating) All this while I put my academic and professional career almost on hold, did not smile for four months, cried every other night, all the while helping her through doctors appointments, delivering medicines to her, taking her for tests and what not.
This routine was repeated through her exam stress (when I was also giving my exams, yet only helping her), and every stray thing that bothered her.
Yesterday night, she told me she would eventually want to keep the option of getting married open. I said that love is what is the present and the future for me. She said, for her, it was being settled.
And then she told me I had used her, that she should have known I was a bad person who physically and emotionally took advantage of her. We never even had sex through our relationship because she wasn't comfortable with the idea, and I never pressured her into anything beyond what she herself proposed.
I feel as if I have wasted two significant years with her. But I am not a vengeful person, while all my smallest mistakes are reported to all our common friends. I will be completely deserted by everyone in a few weeks. With her, I went through severe depression twice but I held on because I love her; I started stammering with no prior history of it.
It is hard to understand this as emotional abuse. I am having a hard time understanding that she could say, after all we went through, that I used her. I am doubting my own self.
How does one get over this.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend after two years of infinite care rejected everything as me having 'used' her. I am doubting myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26] with my [29] for 5 years. How to go about a lease renewal. I do not wish to renew because I want to breakup.
POST: Please do not upvote. Thank you.
**Back history**
We've been in a rocky relationship for a long time. Lots of downs and not enough ups. We've tried everything. There is no denying this is going to be a messy breakup. My partner insists on working things out but, I've now come to the conclusion that we are simply incompatible. The many years together has taught me that.
**Situation**
We're currently about to renew our yearly lease on our apartment and our landlord requires a few months in advance notice before the lease expiry date. My partner wants to keep our lease for another year. What is the proper response to say, "I do not wish to renew the lease."? I would like to end this relationship conveniently when the lease expires. It is a bit selfish, I'll admit... But given my situation, I cannot simply go back home, nor do I have any friends where I could stay with for a few months. Not to mention rent is very expensive, and I am unable to pay out the lease.
thanks for reading
TL;DR: | how to ask not to renew a yearly lease. break up is imminent. sticky situation: I'm broke and lonely. fml. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Can book a week at any Marriott location/resort for free. Warm ideas for a winter vacation?
POST: My parents have all sorts of fancy assets with Marriott that I don't know much about. What I do know is they failed to use one of their "weeks" this year, and offered it to me to book a vacation for myself and my other half this winter. My father says between the "week" and whatever "rewards" we have built up, that I can book pretty much anywhere for a week.
My partner and I aren't made of money, so we're looking for a balance of comfort and safety with frugality. With lodging expenses out of the way, I'm not sure how much is reasonable to spend on a week of sunshine and happiness. We have no specific booking date set yet, but looking at January - early March.
We are the type of people who like simple pleasures (mixed drinks, some time in a hot tub, beautiful scenery) and culture (museums, festivals). We are introverts who prefer to re-charge in relative isolation, as long as civilization is nearby to explore together safely. This will be our first vacation alone without piggybacking on family, and our last vacations before "shit gets real" in our lives, so I'd like it to be memorable.
I have never traveled outside of the US except to visit family in Toronto. He goes to the Caymans every two years (and will be this summer), so that's off the list, but he absolutely loves it there as an example.
Any ideas?
TL;DR: | I've never traveled outside of North America. Looking to book a Caribbean or similar vacation with free lodging at any Marriott location. What vacation destinations, besides the Caymans, are worth looking into during the winter/early spring? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How to make friends? (Please read description)
POST: Hi Reddit.
I grew up on a farm in a teeny tiny farming town in Michigan. I went to the same school system from preschool to graduation. I hated living there because it was all the same people, you had to drive 30 minutes away if you needed **anything**, and I was also stuck in a custody situation where I lived at my mom's for a week, then my dad's for a week, etc.
In high school I was in band and drama club, so I had a few friends from there, including one person I would call my best friend. I never really "hung out" with friends unless it was some sort of school/club event. I just rarely had people over at either of my houses.
After graduation I decided not to go to college because I loathed school and wanted no more of it. I jumped on a dating site and met a guy from a city an hour's drive away. He drove up to meet me a couple times, and we've been together ever since.
I graduated in 2012. I am now living with my boyfriend and his family. I have a job and I'm going to community college here. The only friend I talk to occasionally is the best friend from high school. Boyfriend has a few friends here but we don't see them too often. And they don't mesh that well with me. At college the only person I can talk to with my interests is this 40+ year old guy (We talked about star wars, art, and other random nerdy stuff for a while). At work there isn't really anybody my age .
TL;DR: | I moved away from my teeny tiny farming hometown, am now living with boyfriend in city. Can't find people with similar interests my age. I'm also kinda shy. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I join the Navy?
POST: I have been thinking about this for the last few years, but it just kinda came back up recently.
I graduated from University of Kansas with a degree in East asian Language and Culture(I know big whoop) with an emphasis in Japanese. I have been studying Japanese for 5 years and spent one year in Japan. I know I am far from fluent but I can do everyday life conversation pretty well.
I want to go back to Japan, but more than that I want to learn more Asian languages such as Korean and Chinese. I also have realized as of late that I lack alot of discipline and direction in my life. Then i heard about World languages programs with the Navy.
My question(s) is(are) this. If I join the Navy, what are my chances of going to Japan(given that I am more or less fluent (not native) in said language? or my chances of going to one of the other Asian Countries? Is it worth it? Would joining as an officer have any affect on where i would be stationed? Is there any method to convince recruiters to send me to Japan? Basically... HELP I need to get my life back on track and I have always thought that military service would help me with that.
TL;DR: | Japanese Major. Wants to go back to Asia and learn more languages. Life lacking discipline and direction. Is the Navy a valid option? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: My parents have been fighting a lot for the past few months, and my mom keeps pinning it on my dad. What do I do?
POST: I'm getting really sick and tired of the fights. They're never physical but they're so loud, they wake me up in the night or early in the morning. Just this morning, I was hoping to get extra sleep (I have the day off today) and they fought for a good half an hour until my dad left for work. In the end of it, my mom was telling him that he only sees the negative and needs to stop doing that. He's in the middle of trying to quit smoking after over 20 years, is going through a minor legal battle, has chronic headaches, and my mom has been saying "I love you" to another man living across the country through text and phone calls. She says it's none of our business what she says to him. I knew about it since two summers ago. They think I don't know about it all. I'm so tired of it. I can't focus in schoolwork, I can't sleep properly, all of it. They're dragging me down with their marital problems that my mother is creating herself. She says it's h causing the problem, but I get into similar arguments over nothing with her. They're too enraptured with winning that they can't figure out how to fucking fix it, so I have to do it myself.
TL;DR: | My mom starts fights with my dad and says he needs mental help because he gets angry at her. Help me out, please. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(21/f) bf(21/m) and I both have had low libidos recently due to sickness and finals stress, now that we are on winter break we still don't have our normal libidos back.
POST: My bf and I have been together close to 15 months. Normally we have both have normal(i think?) libidos. We generally do it 3-5 times a week if we can, and I often give him bjs on days we don't have sex.
For the past two or three weeks my boyfriend and I haven't had much sex and less sexual activity of any kind than normal. We thought once we got healthy and our finals were over that we would be all over each other, but thats not the case. We have both been done with finals for 3 days and haven't had sex in 4 days, i don't know if we are both at 100% but we are much healthier now that we have been for the past couple weeks as well. We hang out all day but never seem to have the energy to do it.
Also neither of us has let themselves go recently or anything, in fact I've lost a healthy amount recently and hes put on muscle...We still love each others company(maybe even more than ever) but the passion seems to be gone at least for the moment.
Does any one have any advice on how to get our sex life back?
TL;DR: | Both my bf and I continue to not have a strong desire for sex even though we are both no longer sick again and don't have our classes to worry about anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [22F] have fallen for my friend with benefits [24M]... And we might be never see each other again. Please help?
POST: My friend with benefits and I have been hooking up for about 2 months now. It was casual at first, we enjoyed hanging out and being friendly but agreed we would just remain friends with benefits. We're really sexually compatible (more than anyone I've been with before), so I was fine with just hookups at first.
But now things have changed. He texts me maybe every other day or vice versa, and even calls when I'm having a really emotional day and I need to talk to someone. I *have* had a lot of falling outs recently and he knows I don't have many people to talk to, so he might just be being considerate. We have amazing endless conversations, are both outgoing, and get along with each other's friends. Neither of us are seeing other people but that might just be because we're both very busy with school. He's helping me move. And driving me to the airport. He holds my hand. And sometimes we just kiss and he tells me I'm beautiful.
Essentially, if we were dating and in a different situation I would say it was going very well. But we're friends with benefits, for all intents and purposes, and I don't want to get too attached or get hurt.
The problem is I'm moving across the country very very soon. Like, this week. Should I tell him in person before I leave? I know there's no chance in we will ever be together long-distance, so I guess I'm just being overly romantic in wanting to confess my feelings. I'm afraid he is just a very nice person and I'm reading too much into things. I don't want our last day together to be dramatic if he doesn't feel the same way. Should I tell him how I feel or just move and get over him eventually?
TL;DR: | falling for my FWB, not sure if he feels the same way, wondering if I should confess before moving half way across the country. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Weight finally coming off--when will it slow down?
POST: Hey lovelies. First off let me say you're all amazing and inspiring and I couldn't do this without you.
Some background: 26/F/5'10", I hit 215 at the new year and decided enough was enough. Sort of. I got to 208 and stayed there until a week or two ago. I'd sort of work out, I'd sort of sometimes count calories, but mostly I did nothing. Obviously, sticking with things is a huge problem of mine.
But then, after seeing posts from people who started way after me losing like 40 pounds, I realized I needed to get my butt in gear. Whoever posted about 'ghost mode'--trying to always do better than your old, 'ghost' self--that helped so much in the beginning.
A week ago, I moved states, and only stocked my house with 'real' food. Mostly local fruits and veggies. I made a conscious effort to cut out the processed foods as much as possible. I also started counting my calories strictly--always eating the full 1200, or eating back calories that I've burned off on exercise days--but making sure I stayed within them.
Reddit, in this week, I've lost about a pound and change a day. I'm down to 201.2. MFP says at 1200 I should be losing 2 a week. I'm eating my calories, I'm drinking lots of water. I'm finally seeing the numbers drop. This is amazing, but is this normal? It seems like a lot. I feel fine... is there normally a huge drop in the beginning and then it all tapers off?
TL;DR: | Finally eating clean and counting calories, losing a pound a day for about a week. Is this normal? When will it slow down? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, help me come up with an innovative final discipline for a "mister/miss" competition. We are math and physics majors.
POST: So tomorrow we have a huge faculty picnic. We are expecting around 700 people. Alongside 1000€ spent for BBQ and about 5000€ spent on alcohol, there will be a "miss/mister" competition going on. I am in charge of the competition and have yet to come up with a suitable "final confrontation" for the 2 boys that will get furthest. For the record, let me mention that the final confrontation for the two ladies is taking off the bra without taking off the shirt as quickly as possible. As I don't see this challenge as very innovative, I can't think of anything else better.
So, Reddit, can you help me come up with the final challenge for the mister section (remember, it must include a competition of some sort among the two finalists)? I would be very grateful. Also, we are a Math/Physics faculty. Humor and innovation desired. Thanks!
Bonus: a better idea for the ladies' finals?
TL;DR: | I need an idea for the final task for a "miss/mister" competition. We are a Math/Physics faculty. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I once paid a woman's rent that I knew for only a few minutes, because she was about to be evicted. What is the most impulsively nice thing you have done for another person.
POST: She was a waitress in a restaurant. I was in a different city on a business trip. It was a weeknight and things were slow, so we talked more than usual.
She was attractive, so we exchanged numbers, but nothing happened.
The next day she called me and told me she was going to be evicted, unless she came up with $500 dollars by the end of the day. $500 dollars is a lot of money to me too. I like to think I am charitable, but this was weird. When she told me she had nowhere else to go, it struck a nerve and I couldn't turn her away so I gave her the money.
She is doing fine today. We talk every now and then, but I have not seen her since the day I gave her the money.
TL;DR: | Gave a waitress I just met $500 to pay her rent. Kept her from being homeless. Didn't get anything in return. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I found out not too long ago that someone I knew had been accessing both my facebook and gmail. Is there any way to find out who this person could be, and if so, what can I do with this information?
POST: To provide a backdrop to my predicament:
Reddit, for quite a while, I was noticing some inconsistencies with my login information for both facebook and gmail (which, if you had access to, could be used to change my facebook password). Often, I'd find my password had been changed on both accounts, but the only thing different on my facebook and gmail was that whoever was using my account would make me go 'offline'. No messages were sent, and I realized that the person using my accounts was probably doing so to read my messages and chats.
Being extremely careless, I found out that the person had been accessing my accounts though my gmail security question (which can be used to access my facebook), which could easily be answered by those who knew me. I realize my stupidity in this, but I am almost certain my accounts had been accessed by someone I know, especially since after changing the security questions no further suspicious activity on my account has been found.
So, reddit, is there any way I can find out who did this, and if I can, what should I do with this information?
OP will deliver.
TL;DR: | Went full retard, had poor security questions, and someone was able to access my fbook and gmail accounts. How do I catch this person, and what shenanigans should I pull on said person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of two years, is not sure what to do after today
POST: Over a year ago my girlfriend starting calling this guy she used to know secretly at night for a while, she ended up kissing him on a night out and then got upset and confessed to me that she liked him. She said she still wanted to me with me so I forgave her.
Today I found out that she met a guy a few days ago and last night she went out with him and they kissed passionately several times. She said she cried loads that night and felt really bad that she liked him. Then today she met up with him and ended up going to his and kissing some more and then they fell to sleep cuddled up to each other.
She has just told me this now and has said she still wants to be with me. I want to forgive her and move on but I feel like she feels too bad to admit to me that she would rather be with someone else (especially because we are moving in together soon and the contracts been signed). She refuses this and says she still loves me and is really sorry. I am not sure what to do.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has liked and kissed two other guys during our relationship, I am not sure if she can't admit she would rather be with someone else. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] took him [21M] back, have feelings of doubt now.
POST: He broke up with me after 3 years because he didn't think we would make it work. It was out of the blue, he pretty much just showed up on my doorstep with my stuff I'd left at his place. We waited a month, not much contact. I was pretty much bed-ridden and he felt horrible. He contacted me and said he was stupid and hated himself, and that he couldn't see a life without me.
I was happy but wanted to take it slow, we waited another month before letting anyone know we were together again. I kept getting worried that he would leave me again because it seemed so sudden and I didn't see it coming at all.
I'm still worried, and doubt us, and am wondering if it's even worth being with him when he didn't try to fix it when he was doubting us. Sometimes I feel sick about it. I do tell him all these things but he swears to god that he's never leaving me again. It's been about 3 months since he dumped me.
Other than my doubts, we have a great relationship. Great sex, great dates, great compatibility, etc.
TL;DR: | He dumped me and I took him back. I don't know if my worries are legitimate and I wonder if I should just end it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my girlfriend [21F] for 3 years, how do i bring up the topic of exercising delicately?
POST: About two years ago my girlfriend moved 12 hours from her home to live with me and something that we have always talked about is exercising and losing weight, this was even before she moved that we talked about it. I am a little overweight for my height but it's not a big deal and not as noticeable, whereas she is quite a bit overweight for her height and seems like she is a little depressed about it. I keep talking to her about it, subtle hints such as, "You were gonna check out [insert gym name] weren't you, whatever happened with that?" but it she's still not really doing anything. She has started going for the occasional walk for like 30-60 minutes but it's not a routine, like once a month, and hasn't done anything else.
I've started keeping track of my walks with an app and have gotten onto a plan just this month. I'm trying to eat less, and not eat out as much but it seems like she doesn't care. I'm the one that needs to eat better because I eat way too much and seriously need to cut back, all she needs to do is get on an exercise schedule and she would be set but she hasn't done it.
She's a little emotionally sensitive and i'm kinda good at being blunt so i'm trying to figure out what to do. What if I just say, "Hey, I got a membership and trainer for us at X gym. If you don't use it you're wasting me money." That way it would motivate her to go there and exercise so i'm not wasting money and I don't really have to bring up the topic in a way that might upset her.
TL;DR: | SO said she would start exercising 2 years ago, hasn't started, complains about weight problems, trying to help her without being a jerk |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [20, f] am having intimacy issues with my SO [21, m].
POST: My boyfriend [21] and I [f, 20] have been together for a little over three years, intimate for one. Lately, intimacy has been a bit of an issue for me. We are only intimate to the point where he reaches his orgasm and then everything just stops. I know sex is not everything and I actually do not have a problem with not orgasming frequently (as it tends to be difficult for me to orgasm), but I've begun to feel unwanted and unattractive sexually because of his lack of even trying to - at the very least - touch me sexually after. I have absolutely zero problems with touching and orally pleasing him and do it quite frequently, without him asking for it. I also do not expect him to do anything in return that he is not comfortable with.
How do I approach the topic of intimacy with him without hurting his feelings when we're both very new to this? We're both pretty good with communication with everything else, but last time I brought this subject up he became very defensive, saying that sex is not everything in a relationship and that it made him feel like I was saying he wasn't good at it (which isn't the problem at all).
I also know that he does not intentionally make it about himself, as he tries to get me to finish before he does. I don't know how to explain to him that there are other ways of doing this, even after he orgasms.
TL;DR: | SO gives up after orgasming, trying to figure out how to approach this topic without hurting his feelings/starting an argument. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24/F] with my BF [24M] of 3yr. Found out today he has a different first name and he goes by his middle
POST: My BF is a great guy and we get a lot very well. We tell each other EVERYTHING, or so I thought. Then I see on his Passport today his name is not what I thought it was. I was totally blindsided. He said he's always gone by his middle name and he doesn't even think of it as a big deal. I can't believe this would never come up after three years. It's a really unique name and I've never heard it come up in conversation or even from his family. I'm really stunned and he's mad at me for "blowing it out of proportion" (I'm not angry, just really, really confused) and that I need to "never bring it up again".
TL;DR: | Just found out BF of 3 years legal first name. He's upset at me for being shocked and I don't know why. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my ex-girlfriend [18F] 5 Months, Hardest breakup I've been through
POST: I don't know what it was about this girl but we seemed to click from the start. We went on a family trip together and I honestly felt like this girl was "the one" without a doubt in my mind. We we're inseparable. Then she went to college, it was only about 3 hours away so we saw each other fairly often. Thing's were fine until we broke up once because she felt like things we're moving to fast. We got back together for about two months after that. I thought things we're great and I went to her college to see her and stayed for about five days, and at the end of that trip she told me she had cheated on me with a girl and lied a few other times about being asleep to hang out with her friends. Well I still wanted to work things out and ended up driving home the next day and she ended things there. Things got drug out for a week and a half or so until she basically said she wasn't in love with me and we just stopped talking, that was about two weeks ago and I talked to her tonight. Her feelings remain the same and I don't know why she feels that way. I don't know why its so easy for her to move on and why shes not devastated. I'm a wreck and I honestly just want to get through it. Its no contact the way to go? She's coming home next week and I really wanted to talk to her face to face about it but I'm not sure if that's a great idea. I'm just crushed because of how easy it seems for her. I wish I could just listen to my brain instead of my heart but that's much easier said then done. Any advice is welcome. Sorry for the wall of text. I just don't know how to handle this.
TL;DR: | I loved this girl and found out she cheated on me with a girl, I still wanted to work things out but she just wanted to call it quits. I want the pain to stop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Sad Sister Situation. Could use some advice!
POST: So, my three sisters and I are pretty close. The only thing I ever dreamed about my wedding, other than awesome dress, was that I would have all of them with me. Thing is, I have two military sisters (Go Navy! \^-^ ) so we've kind of been holding our breath for the last eight months waiting to find out if they will be able to get leave. Got really excited because last month they both figured out that yes they could!
Then, a few days ago one of them text me saying that she wouldn't be able to make it, because someone had informed her wrong as to the paperwork or something. I couldn't help but cry a little. I love her very much, and I'm so proud that she is out there helping protect our country. Just got my hopes up, you know? Feeling a little squished right now.
So, I'm trying to figure out a good way to incorporate her in the ceremony... can't do Skype, cause she can't access it out on the ship. So far my idea is to make an origami flower bouquet out of giraffe paper (giraffes are really her thing) and hang it on a shepherd's hook where she would be standing. Also, send her tons of pictures and a video of the ceremony.
TL;DR: | Love my Navy sister, really sad she can't make the wedding and looking for non-skype ways to incorporate her |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can anyone please help me topple a NYC pyramid scam??
POST: Ok, so recent grad here. Having a hard time finding work, I (probably foolishly) responded to [this] craigslist ad. It didn't seem that bad and the next day they called to set up an interview.
It was sketchy nonetheless. I couldn't find the name of the company or really anything about it so I cross-referenced the number (212-256-0787) on craigslist and google and found these...[1] [2](
Long story short, I got hired and started today. Under the guise of 'target marketing' we offered discounted salon deals with savings for those interested to a "5th Avenue Penthouse" salon called "Renait."
With more research I realized that Image Branding's facebook page lists the company's address [here] as the SAME 383 5th ave. penthouse address listed for the salon [here](
As if all that wasn't enough I searched for the man Christian Renait, and found [this] picture--of him posing with the freakin' receptionist of the Image Branding office just down the block.
[This] is 'Michael' the director at Image Branding. Tineye didn't help and all my leads are cold now.
I seriously need reddit's help-not just for my sake, but too for either the other people looking for jobs sucked into this mess, or for the customers on the street who are supposed to be getting some kind of deal out of this.
TL;DR: | Image Branding is a pyramid scheme. Something isn't right but I don't know how deep the rabbit hole goes! **PLEASE HELP!** |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] and my SO [19 F] have been dating for a bit over a year. She has cheated before and I'm worried about infidelity.
POST: So when we went home from university for the summer (we live in different cities) my girlfriend was unfaithful to me. I forgave her in the fall because I was tempted to do the same and the distance made things hard for us. This was very hard for me but in the end I figured that my feelings I have towards her trumped her drunken mistake. However I am still worried about infidelity.
She has seeming somewhat distant lately (she's really stressed out about school and plans on dropping out) this has made me a little suspicious. This morning my roommate told me about some of her vague actions towards him (the way she walked and the way she looked at him). He said that he may have been over analyzing them but they did seem slightly suspicious. I'm not sure what to think. I'm suspicious about whether she's cheating again or not. Nevertheless I am feeling pretty anxious and nervous and don't know how to approach the problem.
TL;DR: | gilfriend cheated. forgave her. months later roommate said she's suspicious. Im worried about whether or not shes cheating again |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Wifey [34F]wants a threesome, I [33M]don't.
POST: I've been in a rough relationship for five years. Throughout our time together, we've had an upfront discussion regarding the nature of people, tendencies to cheat, etc. We settled into a sort of agreement that if the other wishes to go get a little side action, that's ok, but it needs to be verbalized as a courtesy to the other. Neither of us has yet actually gone and gotten any strange yet.
She has shared her fantasy to me to have two guys at once, and in the name of comprmise, I've told her I'm cool with it, but it cant be anybody she is already friends with. The last thing either of us needs is some guy with some old, crushpossibly secret, crush on her getting into the mix. Its not fair to anyone involved for a plethora of reasons. She seems to prefer that it be someone she knows, but has not named anyone specifically.
She has recently tried to convince me to go for a mff, supposedly this would cause our relationship to be "less boring." Ouch.
For me, I am more than ok with being with only her for the rest of my life. As a guy, i suspect that this is entrapment. That conversations about"fairness" will come up and she'll manage to justify in her own mind why my feelings about her fucking another man will no longer matter.
That said, the idea of a threesome is her idea, and any pursuit of it will be on her. But I fear that placing the labor of the pursuit for one on her may only be delaying the inevitable.
TL;DR: | my wife wants a threesome, i dont, think its a precursor to her screwing around with an old friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23M] with my long term GF [22F]. I am moving across the country - when do I tell her?
POST: Been in a 3ish yr relationship. Great girl, we get along great. Long term life goals - we don't agree (kids, location...etc). She has known for a while that I want to move across the country and now it's happening 5 months from now (with the expectation that we'll have to break up). Don't know if I should wait until after her and I go on vacation or just tell her asap. Vacations is 2 weeks away for 1 week. I feel like I should wait but I also think she will be mad that I strategically waited (withheld information from her).
She won't be too surprised but will for sure be super emotional.
TL;DR: | Moving across country in 5 months - don't know if I should tell GF asap or after we go away for a week to tropical paradise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: idea: diy educational pc games for your kid
POST: a few months ago, trying to teach my son some letters I whipped up a quick prototype for a flash app which consisted of letters he had drawn with added sounds of how these letters are pronounced.
then i had an epiphany: what if i could make an app where my wife could just drop pictures to a specific folder, name them correctly and my software would fire up speech synthesizer - presto, new game every time!
well, it was a failure - i haven't tried synthesizers for other languages, but the one i found for estonian (from ~1999) was a full-blown robot. to make the matters worse, my kid thought it was hilarious and sounded like r2d2 for the next few weeks.
back to the drawing board - only way that i could try again was if the sounds could be recorded (rules set by wife) by the user AND it had to be easy. challenge accepted.
last weekend i bought some stuff needed and threw together another quick prototype: [gamele](
if you have a minute, it would be superb if you could check it out. as i need a way distinguish users, you have to register (or you could use the account gamele:gamele, but.. who knows what the last user left for you to find).
it has 2 games (memory cards and word search), the user interface is utter BS, i'm pretty sure it hangs up for hours if there are more than 2 guests and please-oh-please if you register - don't use your everyday password. i just threw it together with some duct tape and gum.
why: i met with a guy from laboratory of phonetics and speech technology to ask him one question: would it be possible to compare the player's pronunciation with the prerecorded sample and got back a truckload of documents about dynamic time warp, hidden markov models and other kind of mathematical/technical models to use for the task. i would like to try it out, but i would like to know beforehand - would there be any users?
p.s. sorry for errors in the text, not a native speaker.
TL;DR: | made a quick and sucky prototype for making (hopefully) educational games: [gamele] & would like to know if you would use it. *if it sucked less* |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By being a drug mule for an old friend.
POST: I was walking out of my local store when I heard someone yell hey!, did you go to blah blah High School. I said yeah, I don't remember you, what's your name? He says Dave ****. I instantly remember his name and then I recognized him. He says, you want to make some quick cash? I'm in a bind. Gullible me says yeah, what's up? He says I got to meet this guy and pick something up. Ill give you 50 bucks and it'll only take 20 minutes. He asks for my number and I give it to him. Say's he'll call me in 10-15 minutes. I remember Dave as a decent guy from school and we hung out in childhood, however; I didn't know him in high school. He calls and says meet me at my house, which is only a few block from my house. So I go pick him up and he tells me how to get where we're going.
He tells me that guy lives in Southwest Detroit, which isn't the best of neighborhoods. I say to Dave, what kind of shit are you getting me involved in man?. He says he's a caregiver for a medical marijuana dispensary and he has to go buy some seeds. Tells me everything is perfectly legal and he has a caregiver's card. A card I didn't bother asking to see. So we go to the neighborhood in Detroit which is less than 15 minutes down I-94. We get there and Dave tells me stop on the side of the road after pulling off a main road. Guy #2 pulls up and Dave gets out and does the 'deal'. Dave gets back in my truck and we head back to the burbs. I pull up at his house and he says thanks man and hands me 50 bucks. He says there's plenty more easy money to be made. I drive away wondering how I got suckered into some shit like that. The only kind of proof I have is that he was on the phone with the person he plans on selling the seeds to, and actually used the word seeds. Could be code for meth or crack who knows.
Now Dave has my number and will likely be bugging me for future money making opportunities.
TL;DR: | Ran into an old acquaintance from school days. Dude lured me in with the promise of easy money for just giving him a ride. Probably contributed to the distribution of a hard drug. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a Christian [33 F] my boyfriend of 2 years is Atheist [34 M], we're starting to talk about kids, and suddenly religion is an issue.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for more than two years. We've been talking about this relationship as a long-term thing since nearly the beginning, and we bought a house together this year. As someone who hasn't had children yet, I'm starting to get anxious (see: mid-thirties and fertility decline), so have decided that we need to talk about those things that are potential stumbling blocks before we get married. As background: he's divorced with two children who stay with us half the time.
The main issue is that he's an Atheist, and I am a Christian. I go to church fairly regularly, but wouldn't dream of "making" him go (except for events that are more "social" occasions, and even those are few and far between). He respects my beliefs and I respect his.
So we started talking about what happens when there's a child in the picture. He wants no exposure to churching and monotheism at ALL until they're old enough to make a decision for themselves, because any exposure as a child will be "indoctrination". I'm fine with the kid making that decision for themselves, but feel like having a balanced exposure to both (non) belief systems until they're a teenager is the way to do it.
He had a bad experience with the Catholic church as a child, and thinks that everything is going to be about guilt and a vengeful god. Trying to explain that no, my denomination (Episcopalians) don't do that, and hey - we also believe in science! - is hard.
I think my main question is - are any of you atheists in relationships with christians, or christians in relationships with atheists, do you have kids, and how do you negotiate that balance with respect and love?
TL;DR: | What advice would you give to a Christian and an Atheist in a long term relationship who are very likely to get married and have children soon, and how to balance those (non) beliefs respectfully? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29F] with my boyfriend [29 M) 7 years, I broke up with him and asked him to move out, but he won't and now he showering me with gifts and kindness.
POST: In short, I broke up with my long term live in bf. He went crazy this past year and became extremely ugly. Screaming at me, driving like a maniac, breaking stuff, punching the wall, punching me, etc. he says he had a mental breakdown from work. A full year of this awful behaviour. . And all the other awful behaviour before, but in lesser amounts. I wrestled with the decision to break up for a long time, fearful about his violence mostly. After another sleepless night of him walking around, turning lights on and off, fretting about work, I couldn't handle it. I told him to leave, I am not his gf, it's done. He left to stay with family for about 2 weeks and came back because well he still technically lives here. Now he is saying he's a changed man, he has been cooking food for me and showering me with presents. I keep saying it won't change my mind. I keep telling him he has to look for a new apartment and it seems like he's dragging his heels. He hasn't contacted any rental place at all. Thankfully he's not being crazy to me but is this abusive of him to drag his heels? He doesn't respect me and my need for peace away from him. I just want to move on with my life.. And I can't believe he would change in two weeks. It's impossible right? How can I get this guy OUT of the apartment!?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend became extremely mean for a year, I broke up with him and now he's showering me with gifts and doesn't want to leave the apartment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16M] don't know what to do with my pan-sexual friend[16F]
POST: Throwaway since she knows my real account and she would kill me if she knew i told thousands of people her secrets. Anyway, she is a pan-sexual and is currently online dating with a girl from an anime RP site. She also says she wants to be a man. My problem is that I want to be with her, but be more than just a friend. She would rest her arm/legs over mine and be like that for hours while the teachers talked.
Last Friday we were in a Skype call, and she started sending me pictures of the conversation she was having with her girlfriend (I could hear her type). I told her that my parents were awake (they weren't) and I went to sleep. Later she told me she waited for me for 2 hours.
For the last week I have been avoiding her and mildly ignoring her messages/sitting with other people at high school. Because of this, she has been sad because she saw me as more than a friend, as a "brother".
She said she is dating her because she has problems (her parents are terrible, and blame her for everything). In my opinion, she doesn't want to be with her, but with anyone who wants to be with her.
TL;DR: | I want to be with friend who is sad because I'm ignoring her and I don't know if to stay with her or leave and find someone else. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: GF entrapped me on CraigsList, explanation below.
POST: I [27/m] recently moved away for work, albeit temporarily, and my 2 year relationship has become a long distance relationship over night. Lately, my GF [25/f] has been emotionally uncomfortable about this move and it has led to lots of tension and arguing. I have a lot of stress in my current line of employment and I don't need the extra undue stress from my GF. After yelling at each other back and forth, she turned to her usual tactics of hanging up the phone rather than reaching a mutual resolve.
Bored and upset in my apt, I lurked the craigslist casual encounters and was was casting the proverbial line just to entertain myself. I replied to 5 ads and quickly got bored knowing that I wouldn't follow through with having a casual encounter. If you've read this far, heres the kicker....
TL;DR: | My girlfriend created an ad on craigslist in the area which I just moved to and I happened to reply to it! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my Boyfriend [21 M] of 4 months, I'm nervous around his "cool" friends.
POST: I did not have a great high school experience. I was overweight, and it causes a lot of anxiety issues so I didn't make a lot of friends. I was also always into "nerd" stuff since my brother I do have a core group that has stayed with me since high school.
My freshman and sophomore year of college I got some medical help for my anxiety, I lost weight and feel good about myself now, enough to consider myself attractive.
I met my boyfriend last semester at the gym, and we started dating, and four months ago we made it official. He's great, and we started saying I love you 2 weeks ago.
The problem I'm having is being comfortable around his friends. They (my boyfriend included) were the "cool kids" at their school. The girls were cheerleaders, the guys all played sports. I don't know why but I feel like I'm back to being the fat scared girl around them. They're all nice enough (although my boyfriend's not crazy about a few of the guys and neither am I). I don't really have much in common with them, so I end up being really quiet around them, so much so that my boyfriend has said that they've noted it to him (and I'm never quiet with my boyfriend, so he laughed about it).
I know it's pathetic to still let high school affect me, but it is. How should I go about sticking myself out with this group?
TL;DR: | I was unpopular in school, my boyfriend and his friends seemed to be, how do I stop being so nervous around them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by seeing London has fallen
POST: Let me preface this by saying that I live in Sweden.
So me and my girlfriend are going to the movies and I suggest this new silly action movie about how they try to kill the president of the USA in London at the former PM's funeral.
So the movie starts and we're both liking it somewhat. And it reaches the climax during the first act when London is attack and I hear a loud sob next to me. And my gf is crying her eyes out.
"Why are we seeing this bloodbath??"
"What are you talking about honey?"
"We are going to London in one week and you take me to this bloodbath...."
TL;DR: | We're vacationing in London in one week and I took my girlfriend to see a movie about how London get attacked... |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: I believe my sister's 4yo has an eating disorder. I've supported my sister until now, but don't know how to *gently* confront or bring this up.
POST: This is a combination of discipline and my sister not noticing. She regularly rants to me about how other people tell her to raise her kids.. I hate to be that person! I believe the 4yo daughter (call her Jane) has an eating disorder. Jane is a bit of a "black sheep" and has a very dynamic and moody temperament. The older daughter, age 6, eats most things ok and never pitches a fit at the table.
I hate doing meal times with them.
For example, saturday night was a big dinner with my sister, her 2 kids, my parents, and my daughter (age 2).
Jane did not eat a single bite of dinner besides biscuit. There was chicken + ketchup, mashed potatoes, corn, and biscuits. Grandmother insisted that I spoon-feed the kid. I didn't want to AT ALL. Grandmother had to plead, beg, and coerce, then threaten the kid to take maybe 6 tiny bites of chicken. And yes, Grandma spoon-fed every single bite. This is a typical family gathering event.
She eats bread, crackers, cookies, donuts. It is known that she pretty much will not eat any fruit or vegetable, besides maybe applesauce or french fries. I have regularly seen her take the minimum amount of food before darting from the table, leaving most of the remainder behind. She will not drink milk and only drinks water (if forced), OJ, or apple juice.
I know some kids have "phases" but this has been getting progressively worse for 2 years. I've heard that a diet of roughly 12items is disordered for children.
What is your recommendation on this? How do I put it gently?
TL;DR: | 4yo won't eat any fruit, veggie, milk, and is limited to maybe 1dozen food options. This is abnormal. How to approach this to hot-headed sister? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26f] am worried my boyfriend [26m] isn't sexually attracted to me anymore - feels like an "old married couple" scenario.
POST: We've been together for going on 10 years (yeah I know, put a ring on it, you're tellin' me). We're both 26 and in most aspects our relationship is awesome, even better than most people we know. We've often been told we have a very special bond - we spend so much time together and never get bored. It's like having a sleepover with your best friend, only all the time.
HOWEVER. I have a crazy-high sex drive. He did too, as we got together when we were 17 (and lost our virginities to each other) so of course we boned like rabbits. But over the years he's slowly seemed to lose interest to where we have sex once a month and that's pretty much only if I push it.
Now here's the problem: like I said, our relationship otherwise is totally great. We have fun together every weekend, we're around each other all the time, we don't fight. I know he doesn't look at porn or cheat. He admits himself he just has a low sex drive, but I'm not happy with that. I wouldn't give up this relationship for anything but I'm tired of "taking care of myself" every day when I know this isn't a problem most girls have.
TL;DR: | Long-term boyfriend doesn't have interest in sex but we're best friends and I don't want to lose him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29M] have fallen for my friend [26F]
POST: This is a story as old as time but I'll start with some history. A few years ago I met her through a mutual friend. We hung out a little then I asked her out for a date. She said no because she had a boyfriend. We went our separate ways and didn't keep in contact.
A few months ago she contacted me out of the blue. She had just broken up with her fiance and was trying to mend friendships she had lost along the way. I found this a little strange because we were never really close or had much in common. So we chatted quite frequently and as we got to know each other better we realised we had heaps in common. So naturally I asked her out on a date and she said no. She said she wasn't into me in that way. I was a little more hurt this time because she has all the qualities I look for in a partner. These qualities are also what I look for in a friend. I gave myself a few days to move on then went back to chatting with her pretty much every day. We hung out a couple of times and genuinely enjoy each others company.
A couple of weeks ago we went interstate for a holiday and expo. We stayed in the same room (different beds) and was around each other every minute for 4 days straight. We both had a great time. Unfortunately for me my feelings only got stronger. I know she's not into me but we get along so well I don't want to lose the friendship. I'm just venting and not really after any advice (although I'll take it). It just sucks because I constantly think about her and know that there's nothing more than friendship there.
TL;DR: | I have feelings for my friend but she doesn't feel the same way. Dealing with my emotions is tough but I don't want to lose her as a friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I get it, you hate [insert retarded policy/politician/ideology], what are YOU going to do about it?
POST: So I surf the net. I hit up my favorite blogs like Daily Kos, read my news feeds like reddit/digg. Feels nice folks on the interwebs are aware of the struggle shitty policy/governing of the world and laugh at retarded things like right wing stupidity. You see Pallin up to her lil headline grabbers that make you facepalm. The recognition that a country is dominating another country through hypocritical unjust means.
Great. Now what? Take "action?" Make excuses? Leave it at that? Play the i-can't-do-anything-anyways card? Revel in the piece of news?
I think this should be in politics, but I'm curious to know the actions people have out there. Do people read this, nod in agreement, and leave it at that? For all the intellectual rhetoric people have out there, you'd it is being put to good use.
I'm an organizer/activist for my own cause of higher education. I do my shit, raise hell, do my rallies, spread awareness, ally myself with fair minded politicians via lobbying, and various other things. All that shit I do is a drop in the bucket to the things that others do and the troubles out there. It's not enough, I know, but I do what I do in my own powers and not let how futile, but still fruitful, my doings sometimes get to me.
TL;DR: | You think you have a good sense of politics/policy/stupidity out there. Outside of this screen, what are you do you do about it? Or, are you ever going to do about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/m] dating (20/f) everything went well but now she tells me that she isnt ready too date because of a relationship that ended sometime ago
POST: Hey reddit,
i've met this amazing girl, we have been chatting like crazy for about a week and met last week for the first time. On the third date we were making out for an hour and she kept saying how she is into me and wants me and stuff. Well some hours after our fourth date she texted me, that she isnt ready for dating yet (because of a short but serious relationship she had) and that she doesnt want to date anybody at the moment.
Im really into her and didnt expect a text like that because it was so obvious that she is into me too. I dont really know what to do from her. She asked me to be a friends but idk if that really works. I was planning to get her to my apartment again and hope that we hit it off again but yeah...
Do you have any advice for me? What should i do? Just wait some time or forget her?
TL;DR: | dated this girl that seemed really into me. After the fourth date she texted me, that she isnt ready to date yet. What should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I fucked up bad. (Work-related) Me (30) and boss (mid-30s).
POST: I live and work in China. I had to make an emergency visit to the city of Tianjin recently before the recent tragic accident. And I instantly fell in love with the city, so I put in a request with my boss to move to the city as soon as possible.
Then the recent tragedy occurred.
And I met a girl in my current city.
Today my boss told me that she'd like me to move to Tianjin, but because of the recent tragedy and also meeting a rather beautiful girl, I told my boss that I would like to reconsider.
How badly did I fuck up?
She hasn't responded to me yet.
TL;DR: | I flip-flopped after I personally made a request to move to a new city, but because of a catastrophic tragedy I don't feel safe going to it. How badly did I fuck up. |
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