prompt
stringlengths 73
2.47k
| completion
stringlengths 71
279
|
|---|---|
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 F] with my group of friends and a new comer
POST: I'm in a group of about 12 people. I'm a single woman, most of the rest of the group is made of couples. All the men "pick on me" or whatever you call it. I'm the one they all joke about and with, very rarely anyone else including the other 2 single women are involved in the sarcastic banter. Is that just me as one of the guys?
I like to dish it right back at them all. I think sarcasm is funny but it's also a fine line to do it correctly. I am close with all their wives, in fact, I'm only friends with the husbands because of my friendship with their wives.
We recently got a new single guy in the group, and he seems to give me a LOT of extra shit. I'm wondering if he's just trying to bond with the rest of the group by doing that or if he's trying to assert something? His "jokes" are a bit darker or pointed than the rest and he eyeballs me when he says them. He doesn't sit by me and seems maybe uncomfortable around me? Sometimes it gets a bit old and with this new guy they seem a bit hurtful. Maybe I'm just being sensitive, but I usually don't get ruffled by joking around. We're actually really similar and in some situations he and I laugh and get along really well. It's when we all go out and everyone gets dressed up and the mood is different it seems.
TL;DR: | New guy in the group seems to aggressively be sarcastic with me and I can't figure out his motives or what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/f] wondering if I was wronged or if I deserved it and what to do.
POST: In July, over Okcupid I met a really great guy and within the month we were dating. But before that, I realized I had feelings for my best guy friend that I've known for seven years but he has a girlfriend so I decided to move on when I met Okcupid guy(who is actually a redditor too). Things are going awesome for two months- then we go out with some of my friends one night, and I have a really strong drink so I'm fairly tipsy. Later, he's driving us back and I (guiltily) tell him about the feelings I had for Best Guy Friend before I even met Okcupid guy. But I still want to be with Okcupid Guy. I'm still pretty drunk. And he breaks up with me.
A few days later, I ask him to reconsider. He says no, he can't trust me, insinuates that if Best Guy Friend was single, I would cheat on him, and that it's the right thing to do before saying "goodbye." Which really hurt me since it's so final. So I'm pretty torn up over this. I still think of him a lot and I want to talk to him but I don't want to be a needy ex. I've no idea what I should do from here; if I should let it go, since he was so adamant, or what.
TL;DR: | drunkenly told boyfriend of past feelings I had for my best friend, he broke up with me and just about cut all ties. I'm unsure of what to do from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the craziest thing you have been woken up to reddit? (warning: story contains cats and heroics)
POST: So I was woken up this morning to a guy banging on the door and ringing the bell constantly. When I wandered over to answer the door some random neighbor was standing there. He told me there was a cat on our roof with a bag over its head. I look up onto the roof and low and behold there was a cat squatting at the peak of our roof with a fracking bag on its head.
I rushed back inside and grabbed some shoes. Then went to the garage and grabbed a ladder. I get up on our roof with it being tile and having rained the night before it was slippery as could be. At one point I tried to do a crouching walk up the roof and slipped, and for at least a moment one of those iconic Hollywood person falling off the roof scenes ran through my head. The cat decided it wanted nothing to do with the idiot try his best to fall off a roof so it ran to the far corner at the front of the house. Once there, my neighbor got on the fence near by and was able to grab at the bag and pull it off before the cat ran away like a pussy.
TL;DR: | Cat was on my roof with a bag on its head. I tried to kill myself by slipping off the roof and got a large bruise on my knee to helped save a cat. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [36 F] with my boyfriend___ [44 M] 1 and a hald year duration, planned to get married and now he broke up with me
POST: we were in LDR but tried to come to see each other every month - sometimes me, sometimes him. For the last several months he lived with his mum trying to save up for the 1st mortgage payment, and we planned to get married this year.
Some days ago I wrote to him my daughter had a positive mantoux test, she was checked before pre school. Doctor said she might have a latent form which is not infectious or a false positive due to her previous BCG vaccination, In any case, i also wrote she is allowed to go to school and in general doctor said the magority of rusian population would have it positive, in latent form.
Yesterday when we discussed buying tickets and dates ( I planned to come to see him with my daughter for a week before school started, as she has never been to London before) he said his mum was against me bringing her there as it might be dangerous for them. I replied that in this case I am dangerous too as well as all russians. He sent another text that she checked information on google about latent form and said sorry and changed her mind about our trip, and now my daughter can come.
Llater on that evening i wrote to him I will not come to his mum place, that I respect her and her opinions and appreciate she put up with my visits before but now I prefer to wait till he has his own place, then I will come and hopefully he will find time to come to see me in russia too. I felt really bad about his mum believing I would put them in danger or that I was not responsible enough to take my kid on a trip if she was seriously ill.
I described all that, this morning i got a letter from my boyfriend that his mum had apologized and if that is not enough - me and him are done, because I can not "keep things simple"
I feel I overreacted, but i believe he did too. dont know what to do.
I love him and dont want to loose him but I felt really offended and I wanted to explain how I felt. Do you think I was very wrong?
TL;DR: | my boy friend broke up with me because I got offended with his mum and refused to come to stay at her place. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I think I failed my placement test today. What should I do now?
POST: Some background:
I recently graduated from a two year trade school. It went rather poorly, I'm not in any way prepared to enter the field and I was one of the worst in my class.
I tried to do something that fit me a little better than blue collar work, and chose a STEM major at my college. Problem is, since I just graduated financial aid is really reluctant to give me money. I was told if I attempt to change majors, or if I drop out I will be ineligible for financial aid. In other words, this major is my last shot, otherwise I can say hello to making $10 an hour working outside in the heat for the rest of my life.
In order to get in to this major, I was required to take a placement test. There are two prerequisite classes for the basic math course. These prerequisites are merely to see if a student has the abilities to make it in a math-heavy major. I was advised to attempt to test out of the first class, because it was very easy and I have very limited financial aid funds available to me.
I took the test today and I'm almost certain I failed it. In addition, I also failed a CLEP test for another subject. Not only is it unlikely I'll ever be able to pay for school now, my test results speak volumes over my abilities and my preparedness for college.
So, what do I do? I think if I failed the basic algebra test I shouldn't pursue a major involving a lot of mathematics. Even if I decided to stomach through it I've already spent hundreds on these tests ($315 to be exact) and I really can't afford it, especially considering that I don't have the option to get in to school and "figure it out" and change my major if I need to. This is a one shot deal. I feel like I'm trapped, any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Pretty sure I'm not going to be able to go to college, and I'll be stuck working a trade in which I have no natural ability. Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: me [18/M] dating girl [17/F] for 10 months, I tell her about something I did and now she does not trust me at all. Any ideas of a grand gesture to show her she's the only girl I want? Need to win her back.
POST: Recently I told my girlfriend I sent some bad texts to another girl. I told her the truth as to not let it make me feel so guilty all the time and for her sake I knew she'd want the truth. I told her maybe a month after it happened (overly flirtatious texts; inappropriate).
Told her last week and now she barely speaks to me in school, as far as everyone we know they think we are broken up. But she has told me she has not decided but has 0 trust in me.
I need to show her I care for only her (which I do) and win her back.
Any ideas would help. Nothing flashy or expensive looking for modest and genuine.
TL;DR: | Need to make up to my gf and prove shes the only one i care about or dumped at the end of the week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by impersonating Eddie Murphy
POST: Thankfully "today" in my case was over 20 years ago. I had grown up watching stand up, SNL, Kids in the Hall etc so I was pretty familiar with a lot of comedy routines to entertain my friends with. One of my favorites was the Best of Eddie Murphy from SNL. I had tried my hand at doing such classics as "Velvet Jones" and "Mr Robinson's Neighborhood" to much fan fare from my generally lilly-white suburban Texas cohorts.
One summer when I was about 11 I got sent to a YMCA day-camp kinda thing and decided to try one of my favorite sketches. Mr Murphy plays a Weekend Update commentator who discovers Lincoln had forgotten to sign the Emancipation Proclamation, thereby making slavery still legal. Being aware that not all black people will be aware of this he offers a code with which to help white folks take advantage of this new situation without succumbing to what would likely be quite the ass-whomping. The coded message would be delivered thusly: "Hey you black Alabama porch-monkey, come with me I'm your master." I was old enough to get most of the joke but I missed an important element, namely that leaving off the word "black" wouldn't make it less offensive. I was quite taken with the term "porch-monkey" as the literal image it brought to mind was amused me greatly and I had no idea the implications of the term itself. I was kind of an idiot. And so it came to pass that one summer day during a game of kickball I shouted the entire line (except the word black) over a crammed playing field directly at my new best friend who happened to be black. We both found it very funny. It wasn't until horrified YMCA counselors came running up with sheer disgust on their faces did I have any clue what I had actually said...at the top of my lungs. The explanation I tried to offer was insufficient to relieve the horror of the counselors and later, my new friend's parents. As you might imagine, it's still one of my most cringe-worthy memories.
TL;DR: | When I was 11 I shouted "porch-monkey" and "I'm your master" at a black child during a very public game of kick ball. The "joke" was not well received. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27/F] need to separate from my SO [34 M] - but can't find reasonable accommodation, plus pet problem
POST: Hi there,
Going anon for this one. My partner and I are having terrible fights that lead to vile language. I need to separate from him. I just want some time to myself. I need to leave quickly because I know that if I stay - he'll convince me not to leave. For example: I'll lock myself in the guest room and he'll keep talking - staying by the door all night. I don't want this type of manipulation. I just want space to think. The home we live in is his. I pay for utilities only.
Problem: All the places I'm seeing on craigslist require a 1 year lease. I'm not ready to make that type of commitment. Any "weekly" are like $500/week. I've even looked at Airbnb, but with the surcharge they are super expensive too. I have no family/friends in the area I could stay with.
My budget is $650/month for rent. Preferably 2-3 months.
I live in Northern VA and have to commute to downtown DC 2x a week for work.
Another issue comes in: We have a dog. I work from home 3x a week and stay with her. She has severe separation anxiety. The 2x a week I go in, I put her in a doggie daycare. If we leave the house for more than 4-5 hours - there will be destruction. We cannot cage, as that has led to her being injured. She does okay if shes at home for a few hours - but can't be home all day.
I definitely cannot afford a place that allows dogs. She would have to stay with SO. He works long hours. I know he won't have time, nor would he want to spend the $23/day on taking her to daycare 5x a week. I feel guilty leaving him in this situation.
I thought if I threw this out to you guys -maybe you'd help me brainstorm a solution. Or if anyone has been through this - success stories or lessons learned are highly appreciated. thank you.
TL;DR: | Need to find place to live asap, within budget, close to DC, but dealing with lease terms and dog guilt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How does Mario Kart Wii artificial intelligence work?
POST: My friend and I were playing Mario Kart Wii when we started to wonder if the computers that aren't on the screen actually put down items, simulate strategic driving paths, and fall off the course due to interactions with other computerized drivers, or is it just game determined randomization in order to conserve processing power and maintain a good frame rate? Does the game actually simulate each character individually and do the computerized players actually interact with one another off-screen? For example, if Toad gets a red shell, will he hit Peach because she's in front? I can see characters spin out and fall of course in the map but those too could be random variables that trick me into thinking that the characters are interacting off screen.
TL;DR: | Did the game randomly drop a banana down when I wasn't looking to conserve processing power or did a computerized player drop it themselves strategically? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [F19] and her friend went and smoked with with some guys they met off the street, am I [18M] wrong to be upset about this?
POST: I want to start off by saying that I smoke weed on occasion, and it is not her smoking it that upset me. Basically, up until now, she had never smoked weed. She's told me before that she's wanted to, but has always seemed somewhat afraid of it at the same time. I've tried several times to plan a day to smoke with her, but they never work out.
So my girlfriend is off with her friend (who, in my opinion, isn't very bright) who also smokes weed a lot. They're off bowling (I was invited to go as well, but I was busy), and out of nowhere she texts me saying "guess what just happened". I ask what, and she tells me that a guy came up to her and her friend and bummed a cigarette off them. He left, but later came back with a group of friends and offered to smoke them out as a thanks. So this is her first time smoking weed, she's with her friend, and these are random people she's never met that are giving her weed. Apparently they charged her for it and she didn't get high at all, so she obviously got scammed, but the whole situation made me very uncomfortable. And she told me this all excited and giddy, like she was expecting me to be like "awesome! great! so proud!".
Should I have felt that way? Because I don't, I feel incredibly upset about her taking weed from some random guys she had never met, especially since she had never smoked before and is a very naive person. I feel like I'd be controlling if I told her I don't feel comfortable with her doing things like that.
So do I have a right to be upset? Or am I just overreacting?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend who has never smoked before took weed from some random guys she met off the street and smoked with them, am I wrong to be upset about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] need help understanding the reason my ex [20F] broke up with me please!
POST: My ex broke up with me a year and half ago with a reason i didn't and still don't quite understand. I just tried to block it out until now because I was just heartbroken to think about it, but I want to know what it is now.
I can't remember word for word because it was a long time ago, but her major premise was that:
She feeds off excitement of other people and I don't quite give her that excitement, and it wouldn't be fair for me in long term if she seeks out for that excitement from others. When I said I could work on to give her that, she replied that I can't as if it were an innate characteristic that can't be acquired. She just said I can't give her what she needs to be happy... I don't get it ):
Her explanation was and is so vague to me.
I tried to convince her I can try to learn, but she just kept on telling me I couldn't. We never had any fights or arguments during 1 year we dated. She told me I would understand it some day but I just don't get it. Help!
TL;DR: | I can't give her the excitement or certain thing that she gets from other people and it is totally innate and impossible to learn, so she broke up with me without giving me a chance. But I don't get what that means.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19M) and father (47M) have had a rocky relationship and I don't know what to do.
POST: I have always had a difficult relationship with my father since I was 13 years old. He is a foreigner and identifies with the culture/lifestyle of his home country while I was raised here in the U.S. Our attitudes and personalities are very different and makes us have conflicts a lot. A lot of it is related to miscommunication. I get really aggravated when he and I talk most of the time. We have gotten along before (when I was in the hospital) but I don't see a clear way of healing the relationship. He sometimes verbally abuses me saying I won't amount to anything. Usually, I have pretty thick skin but when it comes from my father, it really hurts my self-esteem and confidence. He says I will never be a hard-worker (even though I have great grades while working 40 hrs/week) or I am a self-centered asshole. He asked me for $70 because his check was going to bounce but I refused. I once gave him $500 of my hard-earned money but he never returned it. It is a lot of money for a 19-year-old minimum wage worker. I didn't give him the $70 because of his naturally offensive language towards me. The amount of money doesn't matter. He has threatened to kick me out of the house because I am not involved with the family. The truth is I just avoid him because the bulk of my misery and unhappiness is attributed to him. I think the relationship has a chance but I don't know how to fix it. Anytime I sit with him to talk it ends in a shouting match.
Many have left people in their families because of the drag it has on their quality of life. Others have fixed their troubled relationship with their parents. My father can be a hard ass and asshole but I believe I can fix the relationship. But I don't know if I should just give up and leave when I am financially capable. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Problems with my verbally abusive father since I was a teenager. How do I fix the relationship or should I give up and leave my family when I can? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: How can Internet addition be controlled without unplugging completely?
POST: A lot of self-help guides are straight to the point and suggest limiting internet time and moving my focus to other things like hobbies, non-computer activities, getting out of the house and enjoying life offline. However, I assume these are directed to people who use internet for pleasure and don't have it overlap with their work.
My situation is that I rely on the internet and social media to work and I cannot simply 'unplug'. I have to do a lot of internet based research and sometimes I use sites like Facebook and Reddit to help with that. However I am always overwhelming tempted to 'do the cycle' of checking youtube subscriptions, subreddits, email, forums and a bunch of other websites for updates and new content, and then repeating the cycle. In fact, doing research often brings me new content outside of the cycle that draws me away. I don't want to completely block these sites though since some parts of them can be productive (eg: informative youtube videos and subreddits with relevant and useful discussions to my work). Despite the task at hand, I'm constantly being distracted or I just procrastinate in order to 'get my fix'.
I don't have the self-will to focus on work while such temptations are easily sated and if I completely remove these things from my life, I'll get withdrawl symptoms (loss of concentration, agitation, desire for next 'fix', etc.)
I'm currently using HabitRPG to gamify my productivity, but if I enable the tracker to watch my unproductive site usage, it just about instantly kills me.
Typically software blocks don't work for me either, especially if I install them myself, I'll just disable them whenever I want (yeah... completely defeats the purpose). A software block (browser based or router) using another person to password it would restrict my work. Though I'm tech savvy enough to probably figure out a workaround if I wanted to (site mirrors etc, I could probably VPN into another computer and use that to access blocked sites).
TL;DR: | Typical internet bad influences are needed for work and can't be blocked. How can temptations to ride the procrastination pleasure cycle be stopped when you can't rely on yourself to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is he into me?
POST: So there's this guy that I just recently met - we will call him Frank. I was at a bar with one of Frank's friends/roommates and we were outside sitting on the patio just talking when Frank walks by. I had met in passing once before, but this time he stopped and talked with us for an hour maybe two.
I don't know if Frank is just a really friendly person - I only just met him so I have yet to have a fair observation of how he is with other gals... however, while we were talking, two of our mutual friends that are gals came out to join our conversation and he only did these things with me:
-held really strong eye contact
(and I consider myself to be really intense with eye contact, but even he made me want to look away a lot)
-leaned in very close to me while talking... our faces were about 5 inches apart
-complimented me
-asked me lots of questions
-hugged me goodbye (and the hug was not just a quick, friendly one - I remember feeling his hands kind of press on my waist when he went to let go from the hug, not sure if that makes sense)
SO! my question is (
TL;DR: | ) does this guy seem interested in me? or is this pretty normal behavior for a guy that would like to be friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can I call him my boyfriend?
POST: So there's this guy I've been in love with since about 3 years ago. He was my "official" boyfriend for about 8 months. And he broke up with me because I was basically psycho and I don't hold that against me because I completely understand where he was coming from. After that we had sex every once in a while but didn't start hanging out seriously until a few months later. When that was happening I brought up the ARE YOU MY BOYFRIEND question and he flipped out on me saying he didn't want to be in a relationship at all and that he would rather keep things the way they are aka fwb status. Fast forward a year later and we literally spend almost every day together, I know he wants me by his side as much as I want him, his friends know I'm with him all the time, and I can tell by the way that he acts towards me that he has strong feelings for me. He's never told me loves me or anything cute like that,like he used to. I think he makes it a point NOT to. How can I define the relationship without sounding psycho again? Does it even matter at this point now that I see his actions? I'm pretty sure were gonna have babies together sometime in the future.
TL;DR: | I have been in love with this guy for 3 years and im not sure if he considers me a girlfriend or a friend with benefits still. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Interviewing within company....should I tell my current manager?
POST: 25/M here. Currently in the software field and have been at CompanyABC for 2-3 years. Have a bachelors degree, and consider myself an experienced asset to the team.
Anyway, my manager made a bunch of changes to the department, for better and for worse starting about a year ago. Overall I think she has good *drive* as a manager, but her communication really sucks, and everything is indirect as to what she truly wants or expects.
About 5 months ago she wrote me up. (I've never been written up for anything in my life, but I take it in stride and with class.) Not going to get into the details, but it was in regards to not agreeing with her, and so we agree to disagree now. I keep my mouth shut anymore and just do my work heads-down. Heads down work is horrible since it doesn't make you seem like a team player, but I let my statistics do my talking now. Since that's what this company looks at when promoting and giving raises. I volunteer to help the others on my team still and offer to take on-call when asked to. But I usually stray away from my manager unless there is an email requesting a response.
Anyway, through my social skills and being friendly, another team at my work is looking for another employee and the job description is similar to my current. I spoke with the hiring manager to get a feel for the position and seems like a great job and an even better team, so I applied!
I have an interview next week for the new gig at same place of employment. CompanyABC.
**My question is: Should I bother telling my current manager about my interview?**
My thoughts are: why would I tell her that I am looking elsewhere? She's been a jerk to me all along, why tell her anything? If I don't get the new position, then she knows I don't want to be on her team, and could treat me even worse. I'm the *don't cross that bridge until you come to it* kind of guy.
TL;DR: | my current manager is a jerk. I applied within the same company, and have an interview. Should I bother telling my current manager? Why give her the common courtesy to fuck me over even more? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] and the girl ive been dating [24 F] have not committed to a relationship, but we are sexually exclusive. I want something more definitive.
POST: Hey reddit, i'm [24 M] in a rather precarious position that is to say, i've been dating this awesome girl [24 F] for about 2 months now, but we have yet to officially become a 'couple'. Now for my own sanity I feel like I need to be either in a relationship or merely FWBs, I no longer feel comfortable in this *sexually exclusive* limbo without some sort of direction, and I really dont want to emotionally invest in someone who is not willing to do the same.
I'd much rather be in a relationship, but if she is hesitant to do so, I dont want to be exclusive with her. I feel like this makes me a bad guy, but I feel if were not a couple then whats the point of being exclusive.
So my question is, what is the best way to approach this situation without it damaging our relationship? or making her feel uncomfortable? Obviously i dont want say "commit or im gonna sleep with other people" but this is general gist of the message i want to present.
TL;DR: | I want the girl im dating to either commit to relationship or let me sleep with other women, how do I gracefully approach? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19m] I have trust issues and I feel like it could affect my relationship with my girlfriend [19f] any advice on how to deal with this?
POST: Because of 2 past relationships where I was cheated on and 1 where I dated a girl who was cheating on her boyfriend (I didn't find out until after we broke up) and various issues throughout my childhood, I have minor trust issues in general and some deep rooted trust issues when it comes to relationships. I love my girlfriend, and she has given me no reason to distrust her but every now and then I can't shake the idea that she might be cheating on me.
She knows I have baggage but I haven't voiced my concerns, because I feel she won't feel like she's able to talk to me about stuff. Sometimes I feel like a jealous bastard. The only thing that's tangible and could realistically be an issue is that she's still close friends with her ex who has admitted to having feelings for her. They're childhood friends and he has known her far longer than me, so I can't really express concern or dislike for there friendship without coming across badly.
I feel like this gnawing feeling at the back of my mind won't go away. I trust her not to cheat on me, but it's not enough to stop me being concerned. Does anyone have any advice or tips on how to help me get over my trust issues?
TL;DR: | I have trust issues from past relationships and I need to get rid of them so they don't affect my current one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: F 23 M 30, been together 3 months - I don't like the way my boyfriend tongue-kisses sometimes, it's uncomfortable and really turns me off. How can I explain the situation to him without hurting his feelings?
POST: Sometimes he will go for the wide open mouth tongue kiss when I am just not in the mood for it, like after we made love and are just lying around. I keep trying to hint with my kisses that I just want lips, but next thing you know he is literally prying my jaws open with his jaws and going for that tongue. It is such a turn off, and makes me so uncomfortable, it makes me cringe to think about. I can definitely get into tongue kissing if things are ramping up and it feels right, but he just takes it too far, does it all the time, and doesn't take ANY hints that I don't like it.
Any ideas on how I could explain this to him? I know it opens up a Pandora's box of nit-picking, and I only bring it up because it seriously threatens my desire to kiss him.
TL;DR: | boyfriend is a shitty kisser sometimes and totally turns me off, and I feel like I need to to tell him somehow. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[26M] with my ___ [22F] duration, short-description
POST: I've been seeing this girl for about ten days. She is a ton of fun. But her body bothers me in some ways and she has some life habits I don't approve of
Because of these things I don't think I could see her long term nor exclusively.
We are really hitting it off. She likes me alot. I can tell she had a rough relationship in the past and is very nervous and scared about getting involved with someone
I still want to see her and maybe sex her and stuff but I don't want her to get attached and and I don't want to hurt her either
Should I stop seeing her?
TL;DR: | I'm dating a girl I know I won't date longterm, but her personality is awesome and I don't want to hurt her or leave her yet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (21/F) Boyfriend (21/m) can't get over a few issues of the past!
POST: Not sure what to do or if there is anything I can do but my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me around March. I wasn't as broken as I thought I would be, plus my friends really helped. Sometime late May, after I had been with a few other guys, not to mention I was involved in a threesome, ex-boyfriend starts texting me to hang out and everything. I only think this is more of a bootycall type of thing but to him it's something else. He goes home for one day and I ended up being involved in a half-assed foursome. He finds out and becomes incredibly angry and upset and feels betrayed. I feel like an asshole a little bit, but I don't really think it was an act of 'betrayal' as he thinks it is. I couldn't catch up on the subtleties that he's trying to get back together. He didn't make himself clear at all am I wrong for not assuming that that was his intention? Anyway, he's still hung up on it and I love him a lot but I don't know what I should do. He thinks I'm cheating and I would never do that. There's a lack of communication and directness that's missing that I have at least been trying to work on. I don't think it's not anything fixable but I don't know where to go from here.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend found out about a foursome I had while he was apparently trying to get back together with me and now thinks I'm cheating. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (m,27) won't see my ex for 15 months, left her (f,28) sobbing last night - did I handle it right?
POST: On off relationship for ten years, mostly off and always tumultuous. Together from 19-22, then when 25 for ten months, always flings and contact in between.
I dont like the person she has become - talking about her new bfs in front of me to antagonise, started smoking something she mocked the idea of me doing, screwed over a mutual friend of ours. Example - during group conversation a friend of ours was opening up, talking about her thoughts on marriage etc, the ex gets her phone out and starts texting
Last night, a friends wedding, the last time we see each other before I go to live abroad for 15 months, I ignore her - I dont want to be fake and pretend things are cool from my side when they aren't, but dont want a big scene so blank her. Fine until the end when she confronts me, im calm and tell her I dont want to talk about it, she has a meltdown, crying etc. Said goodbye today, no histrionics, little said as we parted.
Did I handle things in the right way? We were at a wedding so didn't want a scene. I feel like she deserves an explanation for why I behaved that way - should I give her one? Letter? Email? Just need a different perspective on the whole situation, over to reddit...
TL;DR: | Upset ex at a party by blanking her, won't see her for 15 months now, did I Handle it ok and what to do next? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I'm meeting with an old high school friend and I need advice.
POST: This week I'm going to go meet up with a friend of mine who I haven't seen in at least 6 years. She and I were very good friends in high school. Neither of us had dates for the senior prom so we agreed to go together, just as friends (however, to this day I don't know whether or not she saw it as more than friends). Somewhere along the way the girl that I actually had a crush on said she was interested in going with me. I told my friend about it and that it was more of a romantic thing rather than just a friend thing. She of course got upset, but said it was okay. At the time it wasn't a huge deal to me, but then I saw her at prom and she wanted to dance. We did, but then she started crying and ran off. It kind of ruined my night, not only because that's when I realized it was all my fault and I was a total jerk, but also because people saw it happen.
To this day, whenever I hear people talking about things they regret, this is the first thing that comes to mind. I really hate myself for it and wish more than anything I could go back and change it because now her memories of high school prom are stained all from me being a jerk. My prom was also ruined because of it.
We have been in touch through Facebook for a while, but we've always had a hard time getting together because of schedule conflicts. We're finally going to meet up some time this week and I don't know how to handle it. She has since said that she's not mad at me about what happened and that all is forgiven.
Here's my question...do I apologize? Do I tell her it's my life's biggest regret? Do I even bring it up at all? I just want to do the right thing. I feel like if I do bring it up it would be good of me to be honest, but at the same time I don't want to make her feel bad. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Meeting with a high school friend who I haven't seen in 6 years...I kind of ditched her at prom. Even though we're friends again, should I apologize? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How/When do I tell my family that I will be spending my [25F] first Xmas away from them to go visit my boyfriend's family with him?
POST: Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months but we are very serious about one another. My family has met him & like him very much. His family is on the other side of the country or the other side of the world from where we live. I have met his parents when they came to visit him a little over a month ago and it went really well; they said they are looking forward to me visiting them. He's very close with his family but, due to the distance, doesn't get to see them very often.
I on the other hand, see my family every day because we work together. I wouldn't call my relationship with them "close" and large family gatherings with extended family are a source of stress and usually the last thing I want to do. It's not that we don't love each other I just don't fit in with them and don't feel comfortable spending time with them.
Last year at Christmas, my boyfriend did not go home to see his family due to the expense so this year he (now more established at his job and able to afford it) is definitely going. I can't bear the thought of spending the holidays apart from him, and he feels the same way so we agreed I should come with him.
I know that my parents are going to be upset if I miss our annual Christmas. But I won't miss it at all. I don't want to hurt their feelings but I also don't want to be guilt tripped. And the longer I wait to tell them the longer they have to try and stop it. But we will have to book flights soon because it'll be expensive otherwise.
Looking for advice on how and when I should bring this up... Thanks for reading!
TL;DR: | Want to fly across the country to spend holidays with my boyfriend's family. Know my parents won't like me missing holidays with them. How/when to break the news? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M], I'm nervous about study abroad?
POST: Contrary to what the title may suggest, this isn't a post about jealousy or long distance. In fact, BF and I will be traveling to the same location together, this September. I'm very excited--partially because we both got accepted (we wouldn't have gone had we been apart) and because of the country itself. I love to travel and I can't wait to experience this new place with him. We've been together about a year and a half, and hopefully this will be long-term.
My boyfriend is excited too, at least he says so. Whenever I bring it up he gets moody and withdrawn. I know part of the reason is that he's sad about being away from his family for several months (we are away at college right now, but we both get to see our families once a month). He's very close to his family, especially his very young siblings. I'll miss my family too, but it's not making me un-excited about the trip. I'm wondering if he's dreading being away with just me. I really hope not. I've asked, but he denies that. How can I boost his spirits before and during the trip?
Additionally, he's the only person I know that will be on this semester abroad. What will I do if he's busy and I'm not in class? I don't make friends easily, and I can't just wander the city by myself (I'm a small, defenseless kind of girl and not comfortable going anywhere alone). I'm already sort of naturally clingy, so I don't want to get on his nerves even more.
I really, really don't want our relationship to fall apart because of this. Not only do I love my boyfriend, I'm 20 and I'm already on my second relationship--my family would probably laugh and roll their eyes if he dumped me and I started dating someone else in the future (most people in my household and extended family married the first person they dated, so I'm already behind the curve).
Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I are heading abroad next semester, how do I make him look forward to the trip and how do I avoid annoying him while I'm there? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [M18], looking for help on a couple issues...
POST: Alright so, a new semester of university for me has started and, by cheer luck, I ended up sitting beside an attractive girl who's my type. We got to talking and just recently, I not only managed to get her number but she also agreed to meeting up and going over the classes material for an upcoming test.
Now, my question is, how should I handle this? **If she's single** (I say if because I have yet to determine if she's single or not but I have my suspicions), I want to know what I should be looking for during this studying session. Ultimately, I want to see how far I can push things, be it a romantic relationship or just a good friendship.
That being said, during the study session, what should I do to subtly tell her I might be interested? What should I be looking for in her behavior? Signs that she's having a good time? That she doesn't want to be here? That she might be interested for more?
I know it only a study session but, I plan to have a couple following that (within the same week) and, after that, based on how I feel about the situation, I'll ask her if we could go out in a setting outside of campus. Before that though, again, I need to judge in order to see just how far I have a shot with this.
And, before some of you point this out, I know my top priority should figure out if she's single or not. I have my suspicions that she isn't based on things I've seen and heard (out of context, mind you) so there is a possibility I could simply be paranoid.
So, any advice?
TL;DR: | Asked a girl to a study session, she agreed, wondering on how to proceed via my behavior, hers (subtle hints and such) and how to ultimately develop things further. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My best friend had sex with the girl I like.
POST: Okay, just so you know, I'm not in a relationship.
I'm 18 and so is my best friend and the girl I've been talking to lately.
What happened was I started talking to the girl a week ago and we went on a date and everything seemed to be going great. I'd started developing feelings for her and then today my best friend decided to tell me that he had sex with her a few days before I went on a date with her.
I'm glad he told me, I'm not mad at him at all. But whenever his name was brought up to the girl (a few days ago), she always changed the subject and I found this odd; now I know why.
Redditors, what should I do?
TL;DR: | My best friend had sex with a girl I like a few days before I went on a date with her, and I don't know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to deal with my crush on a guy [17 F] who likes someone else and has no interest in me [17 M] duration, short-description
POST: So here's the deal. I've liked this "friend" of mine practically since I met him in school this year back in January. We get along fine and have some things including some pretty embarrassing personal habits in common. Personally, I do admit I fell head over heels for him and honestly it's the first time I've felt this way for anyone in all my life. I've had some crushes before, but never anything major to the point where I want to impress or get closer to him or at least establish a good friendship.
However my problem is he's a guy who doesn't seem interested in really building a friendship with me. Sure we talk, but he has a female friend in class whom he met on the same day he met me (the first day of school) and they talk all day and always mess around with each other. He also has a bunch of other female friends whom he talks to more. My only wish is that he would have that kind of contact with me, since the times where I've managed to keep a conversation with him going long enough have been very enjoyable and interesting.
He also likes someone else who goes to a different school even after telling me earlier this year that he had no interest in pursuing a relationship for the time being.
I just want to get over this crush I have for him, so I can stop worrying about how I act when I'm around him, so I can stop feeling hurt when he has me by his side at times in the hallway and doesn't even acknowledge my presence.
Any way I can deal with this?
TL;DR: | I really like a guy in my class but he doesn't even seem interested in pursuing a friendship with me. He also happens to like someone else. How to get over my feelings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Don't want to lose him again but can't let go of the past
POST: We just had our 2 month anniversary. This might sound silly to some. I don't know what to do. We dated for a year before this. First of all he cheated on me by kissing him ex girlfriend about a month in. He later told me after he broke up with me because he wanted a girl from his past relationship. I guess she changed and he didn't love her anymore. He decided to date someone else then and they dated for 2 months. After he broke up with her, he came back to me. We didn't really date until 2 months after we started "hanging out" again. His family loves me and already sees me as a part of his family. They all think that one day we will get married. I love his family to death and I do love him but it is so hard to let go of what happened in the past. I have always loved him and he says that he love me now too. The other thing is that he told me stuff like "I'm so glad I stopped talking to my ex, you're the only woman I need in my life" and then I see that he has been texting his ex. Then he told me he had got off this one site kind of like facebook but more for dating and the other night when he was going through emails I noticed that he is still on that site. All these lies. I know I shouldn't be with him if I can't trust him. But I can't leave him. I don't want to. I love him. I love his family. I don't want to lose him again. Should I confront him on this stuff? Or should I leave it alone and just hope he doesn't cheat on me again.
TL;DR: | I don't know how to let go of the past. Lies are building up should I confront my boyfriend on them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Friend kept dog from attacking other dogs at dog park. Friend was tackled by said dog owner. Friend pressed charges. Dog owner is now counter-suing for assault.
POST: NJ: On a afternoon at a fenced in dog park, my friend witnessed an aggressive dog (let's call it a terrier) getting into it with another dog. Several dog owners began yelling at The terriers owner, to please leash the dog, and remove the dog from the premises, as per park rules. Owner argued with all witnesses, prior to making a half assed attempt to remove the dog. At this time, the collar slipped off.
My friend proceeded to grab aggressive dog by the scruff (in a non-aggressive manner). By doing so, friend managed to break up developing dogfight.
At this time, the terriers owner spear tackled my friend, pinning them to the floor, and contact was exchanged.
Police arrived once the fight was broken up, and spoke to the parties involved. Friend presses assault charges on terrier owner.
Plenty of witnesses to support my friend being assaulted, but now the terrier owner has filed a counter-charge (not sure of proper term)
TL;DR: | Friend got tackled and pressed chargers. Defendant is now counter charging. Witnesses in the dozens, all agree to show to hearing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Told SO that he isn't romantic and I accept it. Now he says I insulted him.
POST: Me, f/24; SO m/27. Together for a year and some odd months.
His youngest brother got married on Saturday. His brother and new wife wrote their own vows and I was surprised that his brother came up with such beautiful things to say about her. Today I mentioned that I never thought his brother had it in him and that he said some lovely things. I said that if for some reason we got married, I had no interest in writing our vows, partially because he does not have a romantic bone in his body. I thought that it would come as a relief to him that he didn't have that kind of pressure anymore but instead, he says that I've insulted him.
Now, the SO and I have always had different views on marriage. I see it as something romantic and wonderful. He sees it as something outdated and not necessary. He has said that he wants to spend his life with me, etc. and that he would marry me to make me happy. I've always struggled with that in particular, like if I was forcing him into it. We've also had issues with him being a bit cold and not romantic. After some time of agonizing over this issue, I have accepted that he is just not the romantic type and told him so this morning, saying that I've accepted that he isn't romantic and that's okay with me now. How does that turn into an insult? Should I apologize or something?
TL;DR: | Told non-romantic boyfriend that it's okay that he isn't like that, and now he says I've insulted him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I think I know why i have been single for 3 years, and i don't know how to fix it.
POST: A little back story, my son was born when I was 20 years old (25 now), I joined the military, deployed, all that good stuff. 3 years ago i found out my sons mom was doing drugs and i took full custody of my son. He and i now live in SLC, Utah where i work in a corporate office for a company making really good money.
Basically im not unusually ugly (rather mediocre looks i think), stupid, or a low life. But I can not seem to find a decent girl. The ones I do find are either A) just looking to get laid or B) unusually lacking in some major area of their life. Like one girl has worked at a gas station for 5 years and has no goals to move forward. I am a very driven person, I have hobbies and goals and i achieve them.
I think that is where my problem is, I have plenty of things going for me job-wise, hobby-wise, and great friends. But honestly I don't know what i have that would draw another person in. I don't know what i have that i could give to someone. I hope that makes sense. I just want to know, what am i missing? What is it i need to fix about myself to attract women to me and not to what i have?
TL;DR: | I know what I have to offer to myself and son, I don't know what I have to offer for a woman. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: I have no idea how to progress
POST: I posted here a few months ago, asking for help with some minor stuff. Sid made quite a bit of progress, and he really was making huge strides.
But recently, my mother passed unexpectedly, and now all of family life has gone to hell. Me and my brothers would never be able to afford the house we live in now without all three of us working. My little brother needs to focus on school though, so they are looking for a new apartment for two, while I moved in with my boyfriend and his roommate (we had talked about me moving in before, it just happened much sooner than ever anticipated).
I tried to bring Sid fir the first few days, but apparently he barked the entire day I was gone at the funeral home. The landlord called and asked us to remove him, since we had not paid the pet deposit. I sent him off to stay with my cousin, who is a dog groomer who is rather good with dogs. She is going to properly crate train him for me (my brothers never kept with my training and with the first yip would let him out) but I don't know if that will solve the issue.
Further more, I can't have him in the apartment until August when he turns a year old, and a single complaint from the neighbors can have him booted. And, with me, my SO, and my roommate being full time college students, how do we handle him needing to go out during the day? I've read about indoor grass patches, but how well do they actually work? How do you train them to use it?
Then there's the issue of whether my dear pup will remember me once I can have him every day again. I'll be visiting him, but what if the little scamp likes it better being there? Especially since it will have another dog, a kid (he really loves kids, it's weird but good), and a cat.
I got him when I thought life was relatively stable, so I was not expecting this kind of upset and huge change. If at all possible, I want to keep him with me when i can, he's my little guy. But I know it may just be selfish to have him if I can't take proper care of him.
TL;DR: | Dog separation anxiety, neighbors complain, he gets kicked out, sent him to family til August. Will he remember/how to fix the separation anxiety/indoor grass patches-recommended? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (22M) am getting seriously mixed messages from a (21F) girl
POST: I went on a date with this girl last week and we hit it off straight away. Turns out we went to the same primary school and had been living 10 minutes away from each other out whole lives. Date goes really well, she says that's she's having a great time, enjoys my company and thinks I'm really funny/good looking. We kiss for ages and she keeps saying she doesn't want to go home. Anyway we arrange to meet again at the weekend and for the next few days we text non stop with her putting at least 4/5 x's at the end of everything (minor I know but still). Then on Friday we started talking way less. She rearranges to sunday then doesnt text back about time or anything. She later claims she didn't get my text and therefore because she didn't hear from me she said she thought I didn't want to see her. Since then when I've asked her to meet she's been really vague and saying I'll let you know etc (when last week she was clear on all her plans and arranged a date straight away), whilst still claiming she does want to see me. Now when we do speak it's me instigating and she's not putting any x's at all or only 1 or 2 (again, minor I know but still a difference from before). I don't understand how she could have lost interest so fast, especially considering all the stuff she told me and what happened when we went out. Would love someone else's opinion on this.
TL;DR: | First date goes amazing and girl is into me. Few days later she seems to lose interest. Can't understand why. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex talked to me today, not sure what she wants
POST: I (18m) haven't talked to my ex (18f) since we broke up 2 weeks ago (she broke up with me). She started talking to me today asking me how I am and told me about the history of macaroni and cheese. We had a casual, kinda awkward conversation and I was really curious why she started talking to me again so I confronted her and she said she just wanted to tell me about the macaroni thing since I like history. We didn't break up on bad terms, but I'm not sure what to take this as. Part of me wants to say hey look I'm not sure if I want to be friends and the other part of me hopes we can get back together. What should I do?
TL;DR: | ex talked to me today, not sure what she wants, claims she just wanted to tell me about macaroni, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I can't cough right and I have sharp chest pains...Doctors say it's nothing....Is there a subreddit I can ask for medical advice?
POST: 30 year old male here....Over the last year I've felt a real degradation of my health. A few things really bother me:
First - whenever I have to cough I feel like it is blocked, or something in my neck is not allowing me to exhale the cough the way I would like to - or used to be able to. This bothers me a lot and sometimes when I take a deep inhale to cough and try to exhale the cough I see stars....
Also I've been having sharp chest pains every few days. Some are so bad that I grab at my chest. The pains are on my left side (heart...) and above the nipple on my chest.
I smoke grass pretty often, but I'm not a cig smoker or heavy drinker. I would say I smoke about 3 times a week. I exercise 2 - 5 times a week, I'm maybe 10lbs overweight, -- but I would not consider myself living a very unhealthy lifestyle...
I've been to doctors who really have no advice for me - they have given me ECG and tested my blood etc...
Is this something I should be worried about...how far should I take my concerns
TL;DR: | I can't cough the way I used to and I have sharp chest pains sometimes...had a few tests and nothing came up...Any advice?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] was rejected by a girl [19 F]. I suspect it is because I was acting desperate and oversharing information because I really like her. Should I hang out with her again, being myself this time, or should I move on?
POST: I had a coffee catchup with a girl I have a crush on. I really like her. During the catchup I was very cringy and a little desperate. For example I was oversharing information to make some sort of a connection happen, rather than going with the flow of the conversation.
I got more and more nervous and even desperate as our catchup went on. Towards the end of the hour, I asked her if she would like to go on a proper date with me. She said no, but said we should go as friends.
As you can guess I'm pretty bummed out about it.
I am wondering should I go out with her as friends next time and be normal and not oversharing, and see what happens from there? See if a relationship naturally develops? Of course in the meantime I will continue living my life and won't be obsessing about her.
Or is it over already and should I totally forget about her?
TL;DR: | Was desperate and over-sharing on a casual coffee catch up. Asked her on a date and got rejected. Should I forget about her or try again, this time letting things develop naturally instead of oversharing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being grumpy at work
POST: I work in thelogistics department at a pharmaceutical warehouse not to for from my house. Part of my job is checking/breaking seals on trailers that come in. Since I arrive at 6 am every morning, most drivers aren't happy to see me. One driver decided to give me a bit of lip about waking him up earlier than normal to which I explained to him that I had to wake up before him to wake him up, so imagine how tired I am. My shift supervisor commented on my lack of enthusiasm and I immediately started ranting about some asshole driver completely forgetting I saw him just around the corner from my desk. The only thing that saved me was him listening to music.
TL;DR: | I was grumpy at work and started shit talking a truck driver at work but he couldn't hear me and I'm extremely grateful. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend (26M) and I (21F) have been dating for six months-- he still talks to his ex. Am I wrong in feeling upset about this?
POST: All right... let me try to explain this in as little time as possible.
Andrew had been dating Katie on/off for ~8 years. He and I met last February and have had a pretty spectacular relationship. The only issue I have with us is that they two still talk. He never tells me when they hang out and I only find out when she leaves something in his car, or, recently noticed her foot prints on windshield. He never tells me when they talk, but I know that they text frequently. He still goes on her facebook, likes her things, etc. Tries to hide the fact that he helps her out (couple of months ago, he had to bring "someone" to the airport- I asked if it was Katie and he apologized for hiding it). He still has some things from their relationship, but not much...
I just get upset when she knows that I'm with him (texts him the night of July 4th) and deliberately leaves things around so I find them. He doesn't think anything of it and reassures me that he doesn't have feelings for her but I don't know. We've both cheated in relationships.
We're both trying to figure out how to communicate better, because both of us hold things in. We've had talks about this before, and I've told him how I felt as if there isn't a whole lot of room for me in his life when I feel like I'm sometimes competing with her. And that no matter what, she will always come first between her and me because of their history together.
I feel guilty for hating her, feeling jealous, and insecure. He's terrified of losing me, and me cheating on him. I'm leaving for a week later this month and I have no doubts that they two will be hanging out together.
TL;DR: | boyfriend of 6m frequently hides talking with his ex, I'm extremely jealous of this and I don't know how to effectively communicate this to him. I feel bad for feeling this way. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my GF [23 F] together 1 year. She broke up with me 2 months ago but she's still on my mind, is this normal?
POST: It was a long distance relationship, and for the year that we were a couple we were only physically together for about half that time.
This is more about how I am reacting to the break up and I want to know if anyone else reacts like this/if it's normal.
We broke up 8 weeks ago and I kept talking to her occasionally for about 4 weeks after we broke up. In the 4 weeks since we haven't talked she was on my mind a lot initially but faded away and I hardly thought about her for a while and felt a lot more positive. Over the past week though I have been thinking about her more and more and it feels like a step backward again by letting myself fall back into it.
A friend told me it being my first 'proper' break up/heartbreak is why it's having this effect on me, anyone agree? Has anyone else felt like this after a break up? Any general advice for help getting over someone?
Thanks!
TL;DR: | Ex GF broke up with me and since we stopped talking I felt like I was getting over her but now she's getting on my mind a lot more, is that normal/regular? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by scolding a blind, half-deaf lady
POST: So I needed a few things at the supermarket. Got in my car, drove there, got out, grabbed a basket and did my thing.
A few minutes later, I was standing at the till with basket in hand. Since I had only collected a small amount of items, I stood in line for the express till. There were 3 people in front of me - the closest to me was a middle aged lady. I saw that she had a trolley filled to the brim with all manner of goods. Having been in this situation before, and bristling with frustration, I decided to bite the bullet and berate her for using the express till to buy a whole truckload of stuff. By this time, there was a fairly sizeable line forming behind me, and some of the patrons were also visibly upset, and glad that I was taking a stand.
After a short lecture, I realised she wasn't responding. In fact, I noticed she wasn't even looking at me. Almost right on cue, another woman, wearing a maid's uniform, comes squeezing past me with a bag of milk and puts it in the lady's trolley. I ask the new arrival why they are in the express line.
Long story short, it turns out the poor lady was blind as a bat and half-deaf, and seeing as it was a huge mission for her to leave the house, she had come out with her caregiver on a quarter-yearly trip to buy provisions for the next few months. Neither of them had noticed that they were standing in the express line, and I had to watch them struggle to move out of the way and join the mile-long queue for the regular till next to us.
TL;DR: | I ruined a blind, half-deaf woman's quarter-yearly trip to the shops by embracing my inner suburban mother. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Job A vs Job B (engineering positions)
POST: So I have a huge problem, I have been working Job A for 1 and a half months, and Job B (which I interviewed for a day after job A interview) just offered me the position, for about 1/6th MORE than my current salary at job A. I really like everyone at Job A, and have heard some bad and some good stories about Job B. Job B is more what I want to do, but Job A would help me advance in the future faster (management vs low position). In terms of the actual positions and what I am doing, Job B is going to be more fun, but I have made a lot of good friends at A which makes the day go by easier. I would also feel bad about going through 1 month of training and then quitting job A, and upsetting a lot of people I respect.
TL;DR: | Job A is in a nicer location, pays worse, better for future employment, nice people, don't want to let people down who just started counting on me. Longer commute until I move into my own place |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27F] with my bf [29 M] of 4 months. He still has pics, mementos from ex. Trying to figure out what's acceptable to keep from previous relationships and what's poor etiquette?
POST: I have always struggled with jealousy in past relationships. That's generally about their exes, and never regarding current events ("you were flirting with her!" etc). However, I realize that the past doesn't just disappear just because you're seeing someone new, and some may wish to keep some stuff or memories from past relationships. Myself, I have a letter from an ex hidden underneath my bed. I never really read it, but I like having it there because I want to save the content of it.
Now, my new bf of 4 months got out of a long term relationship more than a year ago, but he still keeps a few things which bother me:
- Her headshots are on his laptop
- Some of her belongings are buried in piles of other stuff in his fairly messy house (so that they keep popping up every now and then, which angers him as he doesn't like having those things around, but hasn't gotten rid of any of those things either)
- A very cheesy declaration of his undying love for her, publicly, as a tagged picture on Facebook; this is actually one of the most recently tagged pictures he has even though that was more than a year ago
I'm working on myself a lot because I recognize that jealousy is really about me, not about the other person. I know that it's just fear in another form. However, where do I draw the line - what kind of memories from a previous relationship are acceptable to keep/not get rid of when entering a new relationship? The Facebook picture is making me cringe just thinking about it because it's extremely over the top of him writing "we're soulmates" and so forth, but would it be reasonable for me to ask him to remove it?
TL;DR: | Bf keeps a few things reminding me of his ex-gf, I find some of them more invasive/offensive than others. Can I ask him to remove those things, or am I being overly jealous? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to help him emotionally reconnect
POST: We've been dating for about 7 months now and yes the honeymoon phase has ended. I've known him personally for a 1 year and few months though since i friend zoned him for about 7 months. He says he loves me and is happy with me but not the relationship and that he woke up one day and just lost that deep emotional connection with me which he blames on lack of communication on my part. I've accepted the fact that I'm not good at communicating well with others but i have changed and others agree. But he never communicated with me how miserable he felt, or talked to me the day he lost said connection. I feel like we both messed up but that this is something we can fix and is not break up worthy. He just kept this to himself until recently and has agreed to give me some time to try and fix it though he's scared and frustrated that he won't get it back though he still loves me and has shown that. I also love him and stay hopeful. We went from hanging out all the time to seeing each other only every now and then and we didn't talk that much. I believe that if we just spend more alone time together and communicate better this can easily be fixed. Am I wrong? is this not an obstacle that we can get passed? This is the first time something serious has happened to us. if you want more details just ask, I didn't want to write an essay. Thank you in advance!
TL;DR: | Does spending more time with someone you love help regain back that deep, emotional connection? Is it not impossible to feel that again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my GF [22 M/F] 2 years, she always checks my phone
POST: A little backstory from about a year ago; I was hanging out with a friend who I met at college she is much older than I am (46F) we mostly used to study together I considered her my other mother because I can talk to her about stuff my real mom wouldn't understand, I would go over to her home and hangout with her kids, like a babysitter while she did her school work (independent mom with 2 kids). Any ways one day I went over to her house to watch the kids for a little while, I had told my girlfriend I was going to hang out with a friend while she was at work (probably my mistake was not telling my girlfriend about her.) My girlfriend was going to have lunch at a certain time and I was running a bit late, when I met up with her for lunch we were driving and my phone goes off, its a text from my other mother saying "thanks for watching the kids," then my girlfriend immediately got furious asking who this person was and why she was texting and so on and so forth. I took a few minutes to explain to her who she was and what I was doing, she was still a little salty because I didn't tell her who I was with, I think she thinks that I lied to her granted this was fairly early in our relationship. Jump to year later she occasionally goes through my phone to see who I've been texting, I don't hide anything from her but I don't feel comfortable letting her go through my phone, (no their isn't anything I'm hiding from her). I don't know why she insists on going through my phone, did I break her trust even though I told her everything? why does she need to go through my phone?
TL;DR: | Hung out with friend and her kids, didn't tell my GF which friend I was with, now she checks my phone and I want her to stop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Did I fuck up with this Girl(19) I(20) like?
POST: So basically I have this friend that I have feelings for and it turns out she has feelings for me too. Well anyways I asked her to be my valentines so we went out. I didnt kiss her but she made it pretty clear at the end of the night that she wanted me to.(She texted me asking why I didnt) Well we went out again last night and once again I didnt kiss her. She texted me all confused saying how she thought I liked her and how come Im not doing anything about it and to let her know if she should just move on. The truth is Ive never been in a relationship or kissed a girl before so I just got too nervous. So my question is should I wait to go out with her again to man up and kiss her which could be in as long as a week (since we both have pretty busy schedules) or should I stop by her house today and do it before I lose her?
TL;DR: | I didnt kiss the girl after the 2nd date should I try and do it right away or wait till the next time we can go out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Fiancee [24F] changed mind from wanting kids to being childfree with me [25M]
POST: I'm just a bit lost on what to do.
I met my fiancee 6 years ago and early on we discussed kids. She was enthusiastic about having kids and was the first one to bring it up. I agreed, because I wanted kids as well. Everything was great and lined up.
Around a year ago, she changed her mind on this to now wanting to be childfree. It was a shock to me, because we had previously discussed this and I thought we were on the same page. She said that she had begun reading /r/childfree and felt that kids were now a pain.
She explained that she had changed her mind because she felt that kids were too expensive and that they're too noisy, loud, and don't get a personality until they're older and that you've already suffered enough raising them as a baby at that point. As proof, she linked me to several posts on /r/childfree. It was a very sudden shift, and she admitted that it was misleading since she did want to have kids until very recently.
We decided not to do anything because of the possibility of her changing her mind back (or me changing mine). I honestly thought she was just reacting to some posts that she had read and that it was a snap judgment.
But here we are 1 year later and she's still adamant about not wanting kids, but says she thinks she might change her mind later on, but she doesn't know if she will. She proposed a 5 year trial period where if she doesn't want kids in 5 years and I do, we break up.
I'm torn. I love this woman and we've had almost no issues with our relationship outside of this single issue -- but this is the one issue you can't compromise on. I don't want to go through with the 5 years of uncertainty, but I don't know how else to save my relationship.
TL;DR: | Wife and I agreed that we wanted kids early in the relationship. 5 years later, she changed her mind. It's been a year and she's still wanting to be childfree, but wants a 5-year trial period. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can someone who is a picky eater change their ways?
POST: So here's the issue; my boy friend is a picky eater. He almost literally grew up eating solely beef products and fried chicken and has continued this pattern into his 20's. I have had him try pastas (starting small), but he gags as soon as the food touches his lips. he later reports that the reflex was due to the idea of the food and sometimes the texture, and not the actual taste.
I am a very adventurous eater and would like to be able to share this with him, also be able travel or simply try new restaurants with out having him starve. As of late he is willing to try new things more willing but the results are always the same "EWWWW". What do I do? What *CAN* I do?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend only like chicken and steak, we cant travel or go out to eat. he is willing to try new foods, ie pasta, but is instantly repulsed, can I help him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] friend [23M] asked me to be his wingman for a girl [22F] he likes. Now she likes me instead, and he's mad at me.
POST: So my friend Dan (fake name) asked me to come drinking with him and this girl he's into so I could help the two connect. I agreed, mainly because he had been with me through some hard times while I had depression. He's not great with girls and gets a bit awkward around them when he likes them, so I figured I could help out.
I met Dan at the bar and she came in shortly after, and we all talked for a while. I made sure to make Dan and Stacey (again, fake name) the center point of conversation, and highlighted some of his pros while downplaying his flaws. Stacey seemed to take it very well, and by the end of the night I was sure they were going to go home together and potentially begin a relationship after that.
A few days had gone by when Dan sent me a text. He said that because Dan and Stacey were such good friends, she trusted him when she told him that she was actually very into me, instead of Dan.
What do I do? I'm so torn inside. I found her attractive as well and I could see why Dan would like her, but I feel like dating her would be wrong, because Dan is the one who introduced Stacey to me, as his wingman.
Also, how can I help Dan? She just told him she likes me, while I tried to get her to like Dan. He's crushed because he really thought that she was attracted to him, and now she's, well, not. And even worse, she likes me instead. He's also mad at me, although I don't think there's anything I could have done about it.
Reddit, please help. I want Dan to stop hating me, and Stacey to like Dan.
TL;DR: | Dan likes Stacey and asked me to be his wingman. I tried and now she likes me and Dan hates me for her liking me, although there's nothing I couldn't have done. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 19F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of a year and a half, started talking to a girl I'm uncomfortable with right after we broke up
POST: So my boyfriend has a close friend that is a girl that we will call "Jen" and soon into the relationship with him I became uncomfortable with her and him spending time with her. She would often try to get him to break up with me because she says that I wasn't treating him right and that I was crazy. They would spend a lot of time hanging out together and I became jealous about that.
Eventually things escalated and I told him not to talk to her anymore and he promised he wouldn't. I was not okay with him hanging out with a girl that wanted to end our relationship and would shit talk me to him. Soon after I learned that he was still talking to Jen and would try to hide his conversations with her from me.
Recently we just broke up and I found out that he had texted her to hang out the day after. He had been trying to hide it again but I saw her texts on his phone. After I confronted him about it he lied about the circumstances but finally admitted it. I feel hurt and disgusted that he would go crawling back to her after we hit a bump in our relationship and thinking about ending things for good. He's been apologizing to me and saying that he loves me but I feel like he cares more about this girl than he ever will about me. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend talks to girl I dont want him talking to one day after we broke up. I feel like he cares about her more than me, what do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[26F] with my boyfriend [23M] Don't see eye to eye
POST: Well He convinced me to let him move in. He helped clean, we did things together, and make each other happy.
For some reason though every weekend or day off from work, he would go home to his parents house which is an hour away. (every chance). He would leave right after work Friday and not come back till Sunday night around 10 pm.
I let this slide for the time being as this was only about 4 months into the relationship. I started to notice he would do less around the house and disappear during house work and yard work on the weekends. I am still doing everything.
I told him on several occasions since he filled my head with grand ideas, that we would work together to fix up my house and make it more homey for us to grow closer together.
Then I find out he is giving his mother tons of his money. He is always broke and has no good reason why he gives her all this money. Won't explain his need to go over there all the time. I realize this was a big issue and it needed confronting. After everything he seemed to be was a lie. I wasn't first on his list of priorities and he wouldn't explain why. He couldn't find an answer other than he enjoys his family on a possessive level I can't understand.
So I told him we should live separately for now and forced him to pack up and go back to his parents house. I can't compete when I am not the focus of a future together and now I don't know if I should let him think about his personal choices or just move on.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend spends all his free time and money with his parents and doesn't seem to want to build a future together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20f] boyfriend [20m] has been blowing me off a lot lately to hang out with his friends.
POST: We've been together for around 2 years and overall it's been a really good relationship.
Lately he's been blowing off plans with me to hang out (drink) with his guy friends. I don't mind him hanging out with them more, but I don't see why he always has to do it when he's already committed to hanging out with me. He never used to do this before.
Does this mean he's losing interest in me? Or maybe he's getting too comfortable and thinks blowing me off is okay? I've tried talking to him about it and he is really stubborn and thinks it's not a big deal. Or he backtracks and says he never really committed to the plans with me. We've been really happy for a long time and I know he's not cheating on me. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend keeps ditching me to hang out with his friends when we've already made plans and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by having sex and locking the bedroom door.
POST: This fuck up started the day we purchased our house – since it all stems from that moment. The previous owners thought it was important to have a lock on their bedroom door, but not one of the nice easy pop locks, it was a keyed lock. Why someone needs a keyed lock for the bedroom door, I don't know.
So fast forward a little over two years, yesterday. My wife had been away on work for a week and had just got home. I wanted nothing more than to get some nice alone time in the bedroom, but with two little kids the door needs to be locked. So we are just getting started when there is a knock on the bedroom door – so glad there is a door lock. Get the little one back to bed, pray she stays down, and then get back to business. We finish and get to sleep with no more interruptions – no NSFW details, sorry.
Now this morning, we are getting ready, close the dogs in the bedroom, about to leave the house when I realize I forgot my antianxiety med in the bedroom. I go to open the door to find it locked. Apparently it opens from the inside locked, but not the outside. So now I sit here at work, wondering how I'm going to let the dogs out at lunch, how my anxiety is going to treat me today and how I'm going to explain to the kids why daddy is cutting the door out of the wall if I can't get it open.
TL;DR: | – Locked bedroom door to keep kids out, had sex, never unlocked the door, locked dogs, meds and ego inside the bedroom. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF[23f] told me [24m] a secret about two friends that I'm struggling to keep...
POST: Original post:
Long story short: My GF[23f] told me [24m] a few weeks ago that our mutual friend, whom I'll call Cassy, [23f] cheated on her bf [23m] whom I'll call George. (My GF and I have been together almost three months.) Both of these two friends have been my friends since highschool. My GF has only known them both for a year, but my GF is best friends with Cassy, and Cassy told her about this issue in secret. Apparently, George knows about it, and is a dumbass and wants to "work through it."
My GF told me not to tell anyone, because she doesn't want Cassy to know she broke her confidence. But I'm not going to be friends with Cassy. Besides the fact that she cheated on George, she's also done a whole host of other things that makes me not want to be friends with her. So I blocked her on FaceBook, Twitter, instagram, the works.
Now her BF, George, texted me, asking what my issue is with his girlfriend. I'm not sure what to do.
1. I don't text back. I just stay out of it, never text him back. The problem is, is eventually, I WILL see them both in person.
2. I text him back part of the details. I tell him everything that bothers me about her, BESIDES the cheating stuff. But then this might make it awkward in public when we all hang out.
3. I just say fuck it and tell him, "BECAUSE SHE CHEATED ON YOU.", and hope my GF doesn't get too mad. Total honesty, all out there, and no awkwardness in public.
Which should I do?
TL;DR: | GF told me a secret that I acted on by blocking a girl on FB, but I'm being asked why, and I'm not supposed to know the real reason. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My [22/m] history with my newish girlfriend [21/f] is sort of complicated, is our relationship a bad idea?
POST: So I've known this girl since high school, thought she was super cute but never really talked to her. Flash forward to college. Shes into the same kind of music that me and my friends are into so we end up going to the same shows a lot. My friend and I both think she was real cool. She started hooking up with my friend for a month or two. They end it, never really a relationship though. Then they stop talking. A few months go by and we start texting, a lot. Since I have little to no game I start to develop a crush. I then find out she slept with another friend of mine. Utterly devastated, I try to stop all communications with her. I wanted to get my mind off of her. Somehow she suckered me into hanging out with her again. I tell her my feelings and now we are dating. I guess I am just wondering if this is a shitty way to start a relationship. Personally I've had a hard time getting over the fact that she slept my two of my friends. I think I really like her though.
TL;DR: | girl I had a crush on slept with two of my friends, somehow we started dating. Is this a bad way to start a relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: 17/F I'm turning 18 tomorrow, and I need to get my shit together.
POST: A bit of background, up until the start of July I was tangled up in drama surrounding toxic relationships, with me serving as under-qualified and rather shitty therapist. It ended with both my closest friend and my boyfriend at the time trying to OD a few days apart (not a fun week, I assure you). We're all doing fine now and getting different brands of professional care. Point is though, it put a great deal of responsibilities on the back burner, and I'm only now trying to get back to them. I don't have a job, I don't have my full driver's licence, and I don't have a clue as to where to start. I'm heading off to university in a matter of weeks and there's so much I know I need to settle out. Any advice, guys?
TL;DR: | I was trying to keep my two closest friends alive and I've put off adulting until now. How do I start? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (29f) live with the worst person (29f) I've ever met and I don't know what to do to anymore.
POST: You read right, the worst person I've ever met. Anyone that knows her can't stand to be around her for too long, the only relationship she can maintain is with her Mom and only because she can't get away from her.
Her name is Stephanie and she behaves as though she's either eight or twelve years old at any given time. She's only worked maybe two jobs in her whole life and each was for less than 3 months and refuses to learn to drive. She contributes nothing yet feels entitled to everything and *will* use anything she wants without asking and without remorse. She whines, throws tantrums, and never accepts any criticism for anything. We have to watch her when she cooks or turns on the oven because she almost burned a house down by not taking a frozen pizza out the box before putting it in the oven. Just last week she almost let the house fill with gas because she turned the stove on and didn't turn it off while looking for something to light it with, she wanted to roast fucking marshmallows.
Her mother is the reason she's like this, giving her everything she asks for (junk food, a dog, even a *baby*) and defending her when people get tired of her behavior and tell her to get lost. It usually takes a while because when meeting her you'd think she was mentally challenged but she *isnt*. She's never been diagnosed with anything that remotely resembles a mental handicap so she's not even eligible for disability.
There are now four women including myself that live in a one bedroom apartment that doesn't have central air. At this very moment she's whining to her mom about how she's hot and wants her to do something about it, we're both trying our hardest to ignore her because saying anything will just make her talk more and we *need* her to shut her fucking mouth before we shut it for her.
Does anybody know anyone else like this? How would you deal with a person like her? If you were going to get rid of her (legally) how would you do it?
TL;DR: | A woman my age that I'm forced to live with is useless in every way and I want her out of my damn life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How does a relationship look like?
POST: I'm[21m] dating my ex [19f].
We meet each other once maybe two times a week. She's busy, all the time, she sometimes flakes on me if something comes up [something important, in her mind, did it at least 2 times already].
We don't text, barely talk on facebook. She doesn't reposnd to my txts / msgs and if I ask after some time if everything is ok, she says something along these lines "yes, it's ok, I'm just busy and didn't have time to answer / forgot to do so / had a lot on her head". Every time, all the time.
I've absolutely no idea what's going on with her life, because, hey, we don't talk and meet very often.
She's independent, likes to live on her own. I admire that, though I don't know if that's something I'm into.
My questions:
-how did you know your current partner is the "right one"?
-how did you figure out what you want out of relationship?
-how am I supposed to approach this situation? something like "feelings talk"? I don't want to come of as clingy and needy-cry-baby.
TL;DR: | No communication in a "relationship" [if I can call it like that]. How do I approach that? Set up a date and talk this through? And what then? If nothing changes? Break up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22/F] boyfriend [21/M] of 1.5 years has trouble sleeping, possibly due to death of a family member last year and his fear of death
POST: Not sure if this is the right place to put this. I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months now. Just a few months after we got together, a very loved member of his family died. We are still dealing with the repercussions today, however, a conversation we had a few nights ago really brought home to me how badly it still affects him.
He is always tired and has been for pretty much the duration of our relationship. The first problem is that he has a health condition which causes him to be more lethargic and need more sleep than others - not much we can do about that. Another problem is his diet - we both need to work on that and we are taking steps to eat better. However the other problem is that he stays up late most nights because he is afraid to go to sleep. He has an irrational fear of death that he just cannot get over, especially when it's time to go to bed and he can lay awake and think about it in depth. His family member's death may have brought it on or worsened it. He says he hasn't had a good night's sleep in about 2 years.
I don't know how to help him get over what we both know is an irrational fear, and that worrying about it won't help anything. I was once irrationally afraid of death too, but life experiences led me to accept it. But there is nothing I can say to him to give him those experiences.
It would improve his quality of life tremendously if he could be refreshed after a night's sleep. Being constantly exhausted affects every part of his life and there is nothing I want more than to see him get better. My thoughts are a visit to the doctor to rule out any other physical conditions (i.e. diabetes, chronic fatigue) and then to a therapist to try and resolve his fear. I'm not sure how he would take the therapy option, and I have my own reservations about therapy, but we have tried everything and at this point I would do anything to help him.
TL;DR: | boyfriend has trouble sleeping due to physical condition, but also because of very strong, irrational fear of death. Want to help him. Thinking of therapy. How to go about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can I [19M] date a younger girl [16F]? What's the biggest age difference you consider acceptable?
POST: So I like this girl who's 3 years younger than myself. She's a very mature person and we get along really well, and I wanted to ask her out. I don't feel awkward about the situation but I'm not sure how people would view it, not that I care that much but it's something to consider. I know age gaps mean less and less as you get older. A 29 year old can very acceptably date a 24 year old, but an 18 year old can't date a 13 year old (I'm sure you get my point).
Also, as for the legal side, we're not going to be having sex due to cultural and religious beliefs etc. so that's not an issue, before anybody mentions it! So what age gap would you consider as the maximum for someone who's 18 recently turned 19?
TL;DR: | Can a 19 year old date a 16 year old as long as both parties are mature and have good chemistry? What could be the issues? Too weird or normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to stop fighting with my best friend? [21 M] & [22 M]
POST: We've known each other about 3 years now. And things have been good and bad before, and we'll be really close sometimes and more distant other times. Neither of us have a ton of other friends. I like him a bit more than he does me, but that's just more so because I'm a more dependent person and he's a very independent person.
That being said, even during our good times, when things will have been cool for months. We'll argue/fight. About misunderstandings, or disagreements, or just over what actually happened. And in the moment I act very selfishly and I think being right is the more important thing. But afterwards I know it's not, I don't care and I wish I didn't try so hard to be 'right'. I wish I could have this mindset during the moment when I'm getting heated.
I need advice on how to not fight/argue. We're pretty close and have known each other a long time I feel like. So I assume this is the same kind of things couples go through and if they can't deal with it they breakup/divorce, so honestly I feel like the same advice that applies to couples could apply here. Please help guys, I'd rather work through this than lose my friend.
TL;DR: | Close best friend for 3 yrs and I fight too much. Advice on how to not fight? Especially in the heat of the moment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my bf[27M] of 2 years, won't help me in an emergency?
POST: I don't know if I am being unfair to my bf but here is the deal:
My toilet overflowed and half my room got flooded. I'd say there is about 30 articles of clothing, 2 coats, 5 pairs of shoes soaked, rug ruined. Maintenance was able to suck out the water and give me a humidifier but my room reeks of a chemical smell that makes me hard to sleep and I now need to sanitize the floor because of the toilet water.
My bf's sister flew into the city last week and was staying with her girlfriends. She's going to stay at his apartment for the next 3 days. They're meeting up tonight and I asked if it would be ok if he spends about 2 hours with me to help me clean up so i dont spend all night doing this. 4 hands better than one! He says he wants to help but he promised his sister that they would meet after work and would feel bad if he had to leave her alone for 2 hours, and says he cannot spend time to help me out and won't offer an alternative solution
I'm ok if this was an isolated solution but we had problems in the past where he won't help me when I had to move. I broke up with him, but he promised he changed regarding that..
TL;DR: | bf won't help me clean for a bit because he needs to be with his sister? Am I wrong to expect some help from him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: why the apathy and ridicule of protests.
POST: People on here constantly bitch and complain about the corruption and problem with in the political systems of many countries. the dangerous global influence of corporations the constant wars and more local issues such as gay rights, welfare cuts, i could go on and on.
When OWS started the majority of this site were excited and did a lot to help awareness support the protesters either directly or just doing the little they could online.
A lot of the media of course when't after the fringes presenting those either mentally ill/ attention seekers / homeless at the edge of society that these types of protests naturally attract for various reasons.
People like fox news attack and mocked the protesters but that was transparent enough for people to see thought. others attacked the protest because they could not get a sound byte of what the protesters stood for.
and despite having 24 hour news very few people actually tried to explain the nuance of the situation, the old school tv media as it is patronising there viewers and thinking they have the attention span of a 5 year old with ADD.
then phrases like "slacktivism" started to appear. people online i guess stared to get bored, its like they fell for the media idea of what the protests was.
any way back to my point, recently (nov 5th) at many locations globally including out side parliament there where protests cropping up allover the place. how ever all i see of it on reddit is mockery.
for example on /r/cringe pics there is this post where redditors mock a disabled person protesting almost certainly in part because of cuts in welfare, this person with obvious disabilities is being mock for taking the effort to travel in to the middle of a busy city just to be counted as a another number in the crowd to at least try and make a difference, all what does reddit do, mock fedoras and double chins.
even on /r/london usually much more supportive than the rest of reddit the apathy is shown .
so i guess my question is, what the fuck is wrong with you people
TL;DR: | read it or just move on, ready for the downvotes. and yea i am sure there are lots of errors in this post dislexia is a bitch at least i tried. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it okay for me Me [22F] to get annoyed with my boyfriend [34 M] of three years for not living healthy lifestyle?
POST: Please refrain from talking about our ages, it really doesn't have anything to do with the situation.
My boyfriend has ankylosing spondylitis which is a pretty painful genetic disease that affects the back. It can only stay the same, or get worse. This can affect his stomach due to inflammation. By following a healthy diet he can live with little pain. This includes staying away from foods with gluten, lots of starch, and not drinking or smoking cigarettes. Because of his illness he is immune compromised.
Every time he gets sick, like a cold or cough, it is worse than usual because of the medication he takes. However, he refuses to go to the doctor for a week, usually just complaining about how sick he is in the meantime while putting off the doctor visit. I am getting so sick and tired of hearing this over and over again. If he is sick, can't he just go to the doctor like a normal person? It is even worse with food. If he eats too much rich food, he will usually have terrible stomach pain for days after. I feel terrible about this, but can't understand why he continues to eat poorly WHEN HE KNOWS what the end result will be.
An example of this was last NYE when we went out to dinner. He ate too much food that he well knows would hurt his stomach, then drank coffee that he for sure knows will hurt his stomach. When we stopped home in-between meeting with friends, his stomach pain was unbearable and we had to stay in. I try and not get annoyed, but how hard could it be to just follow the right diet for your illness?
I don't want anybody to think I am cold hearted. I love my boyfriend dearly. I just am getting very frustrated with dealing with the same situation over and over again. I just can't stand hearing him complain about how sick he feels when he is doing nothing to help himself.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend does not lead healthy lifestyle in regards to his illness, I need help figuring out how to approach this issue without hurting his feelings or him getting angry with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my boyfriend [17 M] broke up because of rather irrational reasons, but it shattered me. I don't know how to proceed now.
POST: Alright, I know I am young and probably should not even begin complaining about a 6-month relationship, but I cannot help but be extremely distressed over it. I need help
We've been together for 6 months as said, with short-term break ups because of arguments. But last night I am afraid it was the final break up. It all started from me saying I just needed more attention from him. Then it evolved into a discussion on how he is highly independent and doesn't consider and sometimes doesn't even want to give others attention. Not even me.
What makes it so devastating was that it seemed such a perfect relationship, we've been so happy with each other - he's been so loving. Maybe I'm just an idiot for saying the part with needing more attention. On the other hand, he confessed he's loved me out of pity all this time but it seems just impossible - could he -really- have loved me just out of pity yet he was so loving and considerate?
I'm honestly at a loss of words; I'm devastated by this loss. I can't pull myself together and I want to restore the relationship one way or another. I've been through a hell and back for his sake. I -need- him. He didn't even want to remain friends ... I need some help with what I can do... I just can't continue without him :/
TL;DR: | Broke up because he wanted to be independent and loved me out of pity. I need him back because I'm devastated and I'm still in love with him like crazy. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] have become the crazy ex-girlfriend when it comes to my ex [21 M] of 2.5 years
POST: **Background:**
My ex and I were basically the perfect couple for two years. In the whole time we've known each other we've fought once and immediately made up. He was kind, considerate, loving, selfless and everything I could ask for and more. After two years in the relationship, I moved across the state to go to university. We tried to make it work, but I broke it off after winter break due to the distance. We stayed single for the semester and unofficially got back together during the summer but split amicably when I left.
**Fast Forward:** We've both tried moving on, I began dating and had a sexual relationship with another boy which ultimately ended after about three months. I found out yesterday from a mutual friend that he(my ex) has had a sex with two other girls and I am completely devastated. I cant talk to him or think about him without feeling physically nauseous because all I can picture is him on top of someone else. I am completely aware that I am being unfair and hypocritical, but I have no idea about how to change how I feel! We have the exact same circle of friends, so there's a pretty good chance I'm going to be spending the majority of winter break with him.
I've thought about it, and I'm pretty sure I'm so upset because of two reasons.
1. He was basically the best boyfriend ever. I still almost feel as if we are dating so I feel very betrayed. He was also incredibly loving and gentle, I would never have imagined him capable of casual sex.
2. Now that I'm one of three girls hes slept with, I'm a lot less special now.
He's all I've been able to think about since I found out. I check his facebook all the time and the profiles of the girls. I feel emotionally drained, and it's been about a year since we've officially broken up, I should be over it by now.
TL;DR: | The ex I'm clearly not over has had sex with two girls and I have no idea how to stop the feelings of hatred, disgust, and hurt out of my head when I see him over break |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: My opinion about gay people
POST: As human being I don't hate gay people. I don't hate them nor love them. They are the same as any person on this earth. I am just disgusted by the action or the idea that a man is screwing another man.
If you are gay guy and you are good person and respectfully I will respect you because you for that. If I ever hate any person or any gay person , I wouldn't hate them for being gay, I will hate them for they did ( if they did something wrong).
There are many gay people who act like normal people, those are normal and I have to respect them as any person. However, there are many people, not just gay people, including straight guys who act like fagots if you know what I mean, those are the one I don't like to interfere or even see. I have gay teacher, he is my favorite teacher of my school. I like him, I am not disgusted by him or anything.
All in all or
TL;DR: | I don't hate gay people, I am disgusted by people who act like fagots, no matter what they are, gay or straight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M], anxious around women since puberty, KV, soon to go to uni, NSFW
POST: I sometimes post on r/foreveralone, i but I am seeking advice here because there are more people. I have never had a relationship, held hands, or kissed. I am also slightly attracted to men.
The closest I have ever been was for a couple days two years ago where I got a lot closer to a female friend, however I believe she expected me to make a move and I never did. I had become close friends and very comfortable in her company for the year leading up to that point.
I think the main reasons are ordinary fears and anxiety, but also phimosis. I think I have solved this issue, I am now able to retract the foreskin over the glads, and i hope I will be able to have sex. A relationship with another person would be nice but I would prefer just to not be anxious around women and not sweating buckets whenever I talk to one.
I live in the UK and have access to the NHS but have never told my doctor any of these sorts of problems. For the last year I have been living with my parents and am starting to feel like I'm losing my mind due to barely interacting with anyone. I want to make the most of going to uni and stop being anxious around women.
Anyone else who was previously FA or extremely anxious around women will having sex reduce anxiety I am having? I have been thinking about investing in some sweat pads for my armpits.
Thanks for reading and sorry if this is all over the place, typing on mobile.
TL;DR: | M 23 FA virgin, anxious around women, looking for some advice, validation, fear from phimosis, and will having sex reduce anxiety? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (27m) and gfs (29) attitude, is this normal?
POST: Hey. Been seeing some traits in my girlfriend lately that I don't like. I recently found out that she was one of the 'hot' kids in high school. One of the ones that smokes weed, drinks a lot, has sex a lot etc. How do I know about this? She told me! Now I don't care what she did in her past, but she still has the same mentality. She is constantly getting drunk, even on weeknights, and it's really starting to bug me. Her personality totally changes.
Do people grow out of this childish behaviour? She's totally self concious and has low esteem, and even with all the compliments and attention I give her, she still seeks it from everyone else.
I can't put up with all the drama any more, and she thinks she can say and do what ever she wants.
What's the best way to tackle it? Thanks
TL;DR: | girlfriend still thinks she's one of the cool kids in high school, can say or do what ever she wants without respect for anyone. Starting to affect the relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help a brother out, hackers wanted for well deserved revenge
POST: I accompanied my friend on a couple of errands today, one of which was to exchange a hose he bought at a local hardware store. The store was Kelly's True Value in Newburyport, MA. The culprit was apparently the owner's wife.
After asking nicely to make the exchange, the lady's first reaction was to stare us down with an annoyed look on her face. Following that, she provided a number of anecdotal bullshit reasons why we couldn't return it (e.g. "you obviously don't work in retail"). After a few minutes of this nonsense while my friend and I were wavering between amusement and horror by the absurd conduct of this woman, an older gentleman stepped in and explained that if we rolled up the hose we could exchange it. So my friend and I worked together to re-roll the 75 foot hose on the floor of the store. After this we went to the hose section to get e right hose, relieved that someone else was helping us. This serendipity ended quickly and redundantly, when we realized that she was following us. She proceeded to mock us and insult us using idiotic voices like a 12 year old, with a beaming smile on her face (think...The Joker). As a customer service professional myself, it was truly unbelievable to witness such absurdity.
So I come to you redditors, masters of just vengeance and all that is good, for help. Nobody needs to get hurt, but a nice little DDOS or something neat that I've never even heard of would really make my friend's day as well as mine. The identity of the woman would also be nice, as we made the mistake of not catching her name.
Peace and love (and a little revenge)
TL;DR: | the wife of the owner of a hardware store was a huge cunt to my friend, please hack their shit or something. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my friend [19 F], I like her but her past is putting me off making a move
POST: I am getting these growing feelings for a friend of mine but her past with guys is putting me off. Over the past few weeks we've been getting closer to each other. She has been hanging out with my group of friends more after I have been inviting her out. We talk in the group and privately just about normal stuff and I think we get along well.
The only problem I have is I am not looking for a fwb any more and wanting to find a decent relationship however she is recently out of a long relationship and sleeping around. The other problem I have is she has slept with a quite a few of my close friends and has a reputation which is a bit off putting for me.
Finally after getting closer to each other and my interest in her growing to the point where I'm confident enough to make a move it is just happens to be that i leave the country for a month for South America.
What I am asking is should I maybe message her through social media or skype explaining what I think or wait until I return if the feelings are still there?. Also i want to know if anybody has dated someone with a reputation of sleeping about and how/did it affect the relationship?.
TL;DR: | Feelings for friend are growing. Going away to work for 4 weeks in South America. Not sure what I should do, Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: eBay has been anti-billing me for years, how can I stop it?
POST: I know the title is confusing, here's some backstory:
In '03 or '04 (I honestly can't remember now), my eBay account was hijacked and used to list a backhoe for sale. eBay got wind of how weird this seemed, since my account had only been used to purchase SimCity 4 at that point, and they got in touch with me. I recovered my account successfully, however, I noticed that there was a 39 cent negative balance pegged on. I figured it was leftover listing charges from something, so I paid it.
It doubled to 78 cents, and then $1.56 after I tried paying it again. Over the years, I've sporadically tried paying it off out of curiousity, and it ended up doubling over and over, [sitting now at $6.24](
[I have 4 pages of this shit in my email] dating back to '06 (I deleted the older ones at some point).
After I paid it the last time, I then noticed that the balance was a negative one this entire time, so I think eBay technically owes me 6 bucks.
Calling and live chat have been less than productive, since it seems that they don't actually employ humans anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions for what I can do? And before anyone asks, they're legit eBay emails, not some phishing scam. I can log on to my eBay account and see the balance there.
TL;DR: | I have had a mysterious negative eBay balance for years that would double everytime I tried to pay it off. Help me figure out why eBay owes me money, and how to get it back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [39M] regularly look at other women and find them attractive. Does this mean I am cheating on my wife [40]?
POST: I have been married for eight years. We have two kids; a four year old girl and a one year old boy. I love my wife and I love my family more than anything.
My issue is that I find myself attracted to other women. I'll see a beautiful woman walking down the street, or jogging, at the beach, or whatever, and I'll steal some looks at her. I won't stare like a creeper or follow her, but I'll just look at her and think quietly, "HOT."
I also look at X-rated material on the internet and will see to my own needs while watching them.
I am well-exercised and have a high libido. My wife and I make love at least three times a week but often more.
I find that when I am with her, although I love my wife dearly, I will often fantasize about the "hot" women I see throughout the day.
I would never, ever take my attraction to other women to the next, logical step: trying to strike up conversations to flirt with them and eventually sleep with them. NO WAY.
I am loyal to my wife, am committed to her, and am in love with her. My attraction to other women is limited to sly little glances at them, and that's all.
Is what I'm doing considered a form of cheating? Or disloyalty?
- The use of internet videos and images featuring other women in a graphic way
- Stealing admiring glances at physically attractive women in real life
- Fantasizing about other women when I'm in the intimate with my wife
Looking for insight, thanks.
TL;DR: | Is being attracted to other women and using erotica a form of cheating? I am otherwise completely loyal to my wife and wouldn't |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27m] ex, and mother of my 6yo [33f] keeps sabotaging every attempt to start a new relationship
POST: This is a really hard situation for me, we originally split up 4 years ago, but she never really stopped having feelings for me.
When I'm single things appear to be quite normal, I give her maintenance money every month and I see my kiddo 3 or 4 days a week.
The real problems start whenever she realizes I'm seeing someone, usually she changes visiting dates and sets minor complications, and if she realizes that Im serious the just goes haywire, she already wrote to, and stalked several of my ex girlfriends and she is doing the same to my current one. Usually they reach a braking point, usually ending in something like a "I'm really sorry but I don't want to deal with this anymore".
On top of this, she insults and threatens me constantly of going to lawyers and ruin me financially, and she has also destroyed cellphones and TV sets when she gets pissed arguing, I never layed a finger on her.
Sometimes I feel she just wants to see me be miserable and fail over and over again, and I can't really think about taking custody for a couple of reasons:
- I don't want to put that psychological weight on my son
- The justice system is INCREDIBLY biased towards mothers, so it's a lose lose for me
So I really don't know what to do or how to act, I feel there's really no escape for me. This has happened so many times now, there's just no reasoning with her.
TL;DR: | my sons mother still has feelings for me, is sabotaging all my relationships and I can't do anything about it* |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by diving into a swimming pool
POST: Today was a little over a 2 months since I'd started working out. After getting some muscle and losing weight, I was being less self-conscious about my body so I decided to put on the swimming trunks I'd kept in my gym bag for so long. It was after a workout, and I was all hot. But I was being dirty so I just walked to the pool without showering.
As soon as I walk in, all eyes on me, I try not to make any eye contact. But I see three beautiful girls in the hot tub. One of them caught me looking at them. The other two no interest, but that one checked me out.
Felt good. For some reason, I felt a bit over confident and decided that I'd make a show out of myself.
I got onto the diving platform, made the dive. It felt smooth, I thought I'd made the sexiest olympic gold medallist-grade dive.
And I did, i think...
About a second later, my ballsack cramps up really hard due to the sudden change in temperature.
The pain was excruciating and I almost drowned but I managed to doggy paddle to the nearest wall.
The lifeguard, who saw the struggle, casually strolled near me and asked if I was okay.
I was so damn embarrassed and shocked by such horrific pain that I accidentally/honestly said, "my scrotum cramped up."
He laughs his ass off and says, "aight man, watch out."
I stayed in the pool the entire time till the girls left. Doggy paddled every lap till they left.
TL;DR: | didnt adjust my body slowly to pool water temp, made a handsome dive, got my ballsack cramped real hard and doggy paddled for hours in embarassment |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] boyfriend [mid-20s] was mugged a few months ago and it's put a large strain on our relationship
POST: My boyfriend was walking home late at night about three months ago from a friend's house when he got mugged by some teenagers. They stole his wallet and phone and beat him up badly enough to get him in the hospital for a few days. I've been trying my hardest to support him through this period but it has put a huge strain on our relationship. We've been together for around two and a half years.
We tended to be pretty outgoing but because of the incident he never wants to go out. When friends invite us to things he always comes up with an excuse not to go. He says he doesn't mind me going without him but I feel too bad about leaving him behind to enjoy myself so I've more or less stopped going out. His libido is also way down, he used to initiate all the time and we had sex usually at least once every two days mostly more. These days he rarely initiates and we can go more than a week without it. I know that doesn't seem like much but it's a lot for us.
He spends a lot of time moping about the house, and when we do go out he always seems on edge and nervous around others. He's even had a few panic attacks when we ended up staying out later than intended and were walking back in around the same area. Honestly I know some of you might not like this but I have to be emotionally honest, I'm finding him much less attractive at the moment. He used to be a fearless guy who took risks but now he's always so nervous and less open to trying new things.
TL;DR: | I don't know what to do, my boyfriend just isn't the same anymore after being mugged and as bad as it seems I'm not attracted to the man he has become. Can we work through this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Had my (21f)first threesome with my Fianc (21m) and friend (20f) am now regretting it.
POST: Update 1: Just wanted to thank everyone for your responses! There was no way for anyone to be right here. Last night I stayed with a friend so I could just get out of the house. It seemed to help a lot. I'm still feeling a lot of guilt and all I can see is the two of them together. I also got a Facebook message from my friend's boyfriend. He said that both she and I have broken his trust... So I'm guessing he was not okay with it.
That's really all I have for the moment. After work today I'll talk to my fiancé about premarital counseling. Again, thank you all for your responses!
A little backstory, fiancé and I have known each other since we were about 13 years old. We've talked about threesomes before, and of course threesomes always sound good in theory. We've been together about 2.5 years and have been engaged since probably about mid-April.
Anyway, long post ahead, in advance, thank you for your responses.
My friend and I had gone to a concert last night, since she was driving I got completely trashed. My friend is openly bisexual and drunk me told my friend that I wouldn't mind my first threesome being with her and my fiancé. So, of course, those two are sober and agree to it. Friend proceeds to drink and fiance stays sober. Most of this consisted of my friend and myself fooling around, but you can kind of tell she wanted my fiancé.. So I let it happen.
I have never regretted something so much in my life. To watch the man you love just fucking drill another woman is heartbreaking to say the least. He did his best to maintain eyecontact wjth me while he was doing it, didn't always succeed.
I feel like a fool. It was my idea, so why am I so upset? I feel like I have no right. So I guess, reddit, I'm just asking for some advice on how to cope with my poor drunk choices.
TL;DR: | Got drunk, asked my bisexual friend to have a threesome with fiancé and myself. Got hurt seeing him fuck her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My roommate [25/F] is going through tough times. I'm not sure what to do. [Me: 23/F]
POST: So my roommate and I both moved to a new city three months ago to attend grad school together. We are both from different areas (she's American; I'm Canadian). However, due to unforeseen circumstances, she had to drop out of school.
This was about a month ago now. Things were perfectly fine between us until today.
Last night, things were totally normal. But then today, I messaged her to let her know my group wanted to come over to work on a project. She seemed fine with it. Then a few hours later, we were messaging each other again and she seemed very standoffish. I asked, "Are you ok? You seem very down." She replied, "I don't really want to talk to you right now."
I thought maybe she didn't want my group coming over so I said my group can work somewhere else if she'd like the apartment to herself instead. She replied, "I'm not mad about them coming over. You don't get it!". I said, "Ok then. Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen."
She hasn't replied since then. Obviously, I am going to talk to her and ask her what is going on because I do care about her. I have a feeling that since she has been alone at home a lot this week, it has been forcing her to confront a lot of things about her situation regarding school and not being in it anymore. Is there anything that I can do to make her feel better? What is the best way for me to handle this with her?
TL;DR: | Roommate dropped out of grad school. Things were fine til today. I think she's angry about the situation and would like to know how to handle it best. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Break-up] So my (22M) former relationship of 5 years from my ex (21F) has me in a rut.
POST: Been 2 months since my breakup with her and gotta say it has hit rock bottom. Lost my home I had with her, no job, no one to really go to & no motivation to do anything. I've been dealing with it by drinking heavily which I know is the worse thing to do but it helps for the time being. I don't feel like myself either. Stopped caring about my looks other than my weight, so I'm horribly groomed, don't care what I wear and so on. The day's flow by cause I keep busy but it's the night time that kills me. I can't sleep due to thinking about her. Little summary of the relationship: first 3 years were smoothed then year 4 I built a bond with my brother that I didn't have for many years with him. That's when the problems started cause I'd hang out with him. So last 2 years just constant fighting about everything. Towards the final weeks it wasn't looking good and pretty much came to an end after I went out by myself and danced with some girl and me being honest I told her I did that but nothing more. She thought I did more so she packed my stuff and kicked me out and wants zero contact. I try to tell her I messed but she's not having it. So last night was the low point where I drunk called her and some guy I didn't know answered and told me to stop calling. It tore me up cause did she move on? Idk I don't want to assume. She's been going out a lot too so it doesn't help. Starting to think I should move on but it's hard.
TL;DR: | Relationship of 5 years recently ended and I don't know how to move on and it's ruining every aspect of my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I am 22. I don't want to waste the next few years holding a shitty job, wasting time/money on things I don't need, and regretting being 30 and not doing anything about it while I was 22.
POST: I haven't done much since I turned 18. I am currently a 3-year community college student that doesn't drink or smoke but has high-self esteem loaded with a somewhat high-ego. What is bothering me is that initially I was a serious 4.0 GPA student while earning several scholarships a couple of years back, however, since then everything has kinda gone downhill. I'm now a 3.1 student and today realized that I went from the top of the world to full blown reality of "you're not perfect and life hands you shit here and there." I want to go back to being an overachiever because if I fail myself, I will at least have some success. I need advice on how get back on track and do something in my life. Reddit, I want to know what I can do to hack my brain into wanting (or needing) to be successful.
I know I may sound like a dick for trying to be "perfect" but that was solely responsible for my initial success and I want another go around at it to be successful again.
TL;DR: | Was extremely successful in school, not so much today. I want to go back to my old success and need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [F17] [M17] What causes the dumper to just completely turn into an asshole after a breakup?
POST: Pretty much what the title asks. I'm not talking about a horrible relationship, or cheating, or lying, because I did none of that. I was literally nice as fuck when we broke up, and I was treated like shit in turn. He pointed out every single one of my flaws, blamed the entire demise of the relationship on me, and now, whenever we talk tries to rub his new relationship in my face and how much happier he is. It hurts, but not as much as I'd thought, because he's being so stupid. I wasn't the perfect girlfriend, I made mistakes often, I'll say that, but I don't deserve this. He just made the breakup way worse than it needed to be, and I tried to leave it on good terms but he just wasn't willing. He just really wanted to point out everything I had done wrong, I just don't know why. Any views or opinions? Has this happened to you? My first relationship/breakup and his too.
TL;DR: | What causes some dumpers to just lose their shit when you haven't really done anything to warrant it, after a breakup? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my random hookup/new crush [22 M]. Should i text him or give up?
POST: On Friday, I went to a friend's birthday party. It was at a restaurant, but it was open bar, and we went to bars after, so everyone was fairly drunk. I don't know if this is important to mention but I am newly single, and thought it would be fun to talk to a new guy.
So I started talking to one guy in the group. He was really nice, and we talked for half of the night (so probably around 2-3 hours). After the bars, we went back to his house along with 4 of our other friends to hang out for a bit. Eventually, everyone left and him and I ended up hooking up.
Around 3 am I told him that I should probably head home. He said he would walk me home (it's only about a 5 minute walk, we're in college) but it was snowing so I thought it was really nice. After walking me home, he hugged me and I said something like "oh did i give you my number earlier?" and he said "no, i left my phone at home but let me give you mine."
So when I got inside my house, I texted him something like "hey its ___. thanks for walking me back in the snow!" I got no answer, so I thought maybe he had passed out drunk....but then the next morning, I still had no answer and haven't gotten a text from him since.
He is good friends with my friend's boyfriend, so I will DEFINITELY be seeing him again. I don't want to make things awkward by texting him again, but I also think he's cool and would like to hang out again. Should I wait it out, or trying sending him one more text? (for reference, my friend's boyfriend said he is really shy, but idk if this makes any difference haha).
TL;DR: | hooked up with a guy on Friday and he hasn't texted back. Should I send him another text or just wait until I run into him/give up on him as he is probably not interested? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A little story between me [M, 17] and my girlfriend [F, 17]
POST: Hi, I'd like to share our own story. :)
While I was playing an online game for Pokémon, by chance, I was looking to talk with someone from my country to converse and among those who had already contacted and those in the future, was able to meet her, just her.
I got in contact for the first time in December 31, 2015. At first, she was not sure of himself, but I had tried to be as friendly as possible, without letting it scare her or something.
In a few months, we have invented our little stories and scenes, both of us, and that of another. We also talked about serious things, and our personal lives.
And then, came the thing that I never expected.
On March 1, 2016, after giving the sweet caresses, hug and kiss on the cheek and nose, I wanted to do something with her, and was giving her a simple kiss on the lips. She did not seem to hold back, indeed, she had agreed on what I wanted to do. At first I was a bit shy to do it, then I managed to take courage and at the end we kissed, shortly before she was to go to sleep.
I do not go further, because we talk about very intimate things, but I can tell you that we are officially become engaged.
TL;DR: | One day, I'd like to meet her, when I succeed to have a car, because we are far from more than 500 km. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (Ex) boyfriends [M21] mother died on the same day that I [F21] broke up with him? What is my place?
POST: We have been together for 3 years but for the last few weeks, I just haven't been confident in our relationship lasting. Yesterday I finally told him that I wanted to end it. He acted a little strange when I told him, he sort of stepped back like he was scared of me. It was emotional for both of us but we didn't hug or kiss or anything.
After that I drove home and I was pretty upset so I just went to bed. When I woke up, I went on Facebook for a while and his brother had made a status about how much he loved her (his mother) and that she was taken too soon. I looked at the time of the status and it was before I broke up with him. I felt even worse than I already did so I tried to call him and he kept rejecting the calls. I drove over to his place and i told him I knew what happened and I tried to hug him but he said "please don't touch me". that was pretty much it. He just cut the conversation short and shut the door in my face. By the time I got to my car I got a text that said: "you wanted to end it. You did. My mother dying doesn't change that."
I don't know what to do. He helped me through the loss of someone I loved. I don't know if I would have gotten through it without him. I just want to hold him. What is my place here? I mean, do I act like his girlfriend, a friend? How do I help him? I left him alone all night, do I call him again?
Help please.
TL;DR: | (Ex) boyfriends [M21] mother died on the same day that I [F21] broke up with him? What is my place? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [21M] for almost 2 years, I know this might sound shallow...but I'm not really getting any gifts back
POST: I know this might sound like a shallow post, but lately it has been bothering me more and more. As v-day is coming up, I realized that my bf is not really planning anything at all. We won't be spending it together anyway, but I already am having something delivered to him for the day. He, however, doesn't even know the address I'm staying at and has no interest of asking me. For last valentines day, we didn't do anything. We didn't even go out to dinner. He said he was going to get me the gift that I wanted, but it took him over a month after to finally order it. For our 1 year, we didn't even go out to dinner. I made him a very special gift, but I got nothing in return. For Christmas, he said he was going to get me something (I got him something and he knew that), and then when Christmas came around, I got nothing.
This isn't a dealbreaker because I obviously love him a lot, but it especially makes me shitty when people around me are being spoiled by their boyfriends. I don't want him to spend a lot of money on me at all. I don't care if the gifts are handmade or $5. The reason I feel like a bitch even posting this and why I'm uncomfortable sharing this with him is because he got me a fairly expensive birthday gift (although it was also late by a month and I felt awful reminding him to buy it several times), and he received money from his parents to come visit me (which also costs a lot). So I feel like a spoiled brat asking him to do even more, but at the same time, I'm just looking for small gestures...
TL;DR: | Boyfriend doesn't really get me gifts back ever, but I don't feel comfortable bringing it up because the few times that he did, they were fairly expensive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 10 months, she doesn't make an effort.
POST: To start off, I love my girlfriend and everything feels right but isn't right (if that can ever make sense). We're on totally seperate schedules and I feel horrible for feeling the way I do. I'm a supportive boyfriend, say little and listen more kind of thing. Recently, I just feel like she doesn't try at all, but when she does it's at the worst possible moment. I'm her first real boyfriend and she doesn't know any better but here's what's been eating at me.
My girlfriend works and has a ton more things to do in school and volunteering, while I have too much time on my hands. I fully understand and I do my utmost to never put anything from our relationship on her shoulders, that would be just wrong. She usually drops me off at my house and whenever I try to get a kiss or two, she tells me that "she has too much work to do and that she's very busy." When I text her maybe an hour later, she's not doing the things that are making her "busy" and I constantly see her doing work before her classes and in the morning. Why brush me off so hard everyday, just to not do the things you told me you had to do?
Every weekend I ask her if she wants to hang out and she never asks me. This doesn't bug me so much but whenever I do ask her she gives me a passive aggressive answer about how busy she is with extra details when a yes or no would suffice.
Then when it comes to intimacy, I hate kissing in her house while her parents are around. I could just be old school but it's super disrespectful and I feel like sometimes she just likes the "danger" of it, and that's annoying. Other than that, I have to initiate absolutely everything, it's understandable around 3rd month but it gets old. We don't have sex which isn't a big deal, and I'll live. Yet, she never says anything sexy to me, the closest thing I've gotten is "I miss you". Other than that, nothing.
I'm probably nitpicking but it justs feels one sided.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend feels like girlfriend isn't giving an effort and might be nitpicking. Is she putting in an effort? If not what should he do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17M] mom [48F] just came out to me as lesbian, and has been dating her coworker [39F] for a year now. I still miss my dad though.
POST: Hi, Reddit. I am a 17 year old boy who just found out his mom is a lesbian.
So, 3 years ago, my dad died in a car accident due to a drunk driver. This left me in shambles. We'd always watch movies, play video-games, and play sports together. He was the perfect dad. And he was taken from me. I fell into a deep depression. I felt dead on the inside. Each day was a struggle to get out of bed. My mom would do the best she could to fill that gap, but she never could. I just miss him so much.
Fast-forward, I am slowly opening up more. I've never been closer with my friends. I have a girlfriend who means the world to me. I can go out with them and enjoy myself. I feel like my life has meaning. However, two nights ago, my mom sat me down and told me she had something she wanted to say.
She came out as a lesbian, and she and her coworker/ best friend have been dating for over a year now.
This came as a huge shock to me. I would've never suspected my mom to be gay. It came out of nowhere. Due to this shock, I've been thinking about my dad, and how much I miss him. I feel like nobody could ever replace him. I feel a lot more sad now. I want to forget, but I can't, and it's pulling me down. It's like I'm slipping into depression again. How do I come to terms with my mom being a lesbian? How do I move on from my dad?
TL;DR: | My dad died a couple years ago and I slipped into a deep depression. My mom came out recently, and has a girlfriend. I'm starting to miss my dad more than ever. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (26F) mother (56F) has a prescription drug abuse problem. How can we stage an intervention?
POST: After about two years of seeing the warning signs, I can no longer deny it. My mom has a drug abuse problem. What started as very legitimate pain has turned into this awful disease.
She is spending money, stealing money, not paying the mortgage on time, being irascible, asking me to pee in cups for her at hospitals (I refuse), and just generally being a liar and a thief that I no longer recognize.
I want to get her help and I know this is the addiction doing all of those things - not her. I took her phone, got her text messages and confirmed it. She's buying prescription pills because the ones she is prescribed no longer cut it. I am worried about her safety as she is now resorting to stealing money from me to pay her debts (she had asked to borrow my debit card for some reason or another, asking for $400. I checked my account and she withdrew $1600 from me on one day without telling me. *I am done.*). What's worse, she's getting these drugs from MY OWN NEIGHBORS on the same floor of our building. One of them grew up with me and is like a brother to me. He's helping my mom destroy her life and our family.
So that's all there is to it. I have a brother who also knows (we spent all night talking about it). My father also sort of knows, but I am going to show him the text messages tomorrow.
What happens next?
TL;DR: | Mom has a drug abuse problem. I'm angry but I want to help her. Dad and brother are on board. How do we set up an intervention? We're in NYC. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [22/M] feeling gross about my girlfriend's [21/F] past
POST: Hey guys, throwaway for obvious reasons.
I'm with a girl right now, this is the longest relationship that I've had (year and a half). About 8 months into the relationship I learned my girlfriend slept with 34-36 guys in her lifetime (At least 5 I know well). I feel shitty about it but sometimes its like I don't even want to touch her because I feel gross thinking about just how MANY guys have been intimate with her. In addition, I haven't had much sex (3-4 girls) so I feel kind of... left out of the fun. I really do love her but this always lingers at the back of my mind.
I've tried to talk to her about it, and of course she can't change her past at all. But it doesn't really seem to help. I thought maybe we could do an open relationship or SOMETHING so that at least I could have a crazy time and then maybe I could get over it.
Even typing this turns my stomach. I would really like to make this relationship work because she's a pretty cool chick, but I don't know how to get past this! And if I ever do break up with her over this, how would you even do that? Seems cold to break up with someone because of their past.
Any of you guys have similar situations, or advice on getting over this?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has slept with 35~ guys in her lifetime (21), I'm grossed out, I've slept with 4 girls and I feel left out of the fun. How do I get over this? Similar situations? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Just Got a Bill For 5000$ from a freind's parent
POST: So 2.5 years ago I was using my friends truck to pick my girlfriend up from work. I've done this hundreds of times, but this time I backed up and dented the bumper on a light pole waiting for the distance tracker to start beeping. At the time the friend wasn't phased and said insurance would cover the damages, and if not, I wouldn't have to worry about anything.
Now, I reviece a letter years later from the friend's dad requesting 5000$ before legal actions are pursued. I'm about to graduate from college and can't come up with this kind of cash, and I'm not sure if this is even legal considering the circumstances. My friend drives drunk all the time and if I had told him he did it one night he probably wouldn't have thought anything of it.
TL;DR: | What do I do when I recieve 5000 dollar bill for something that happened years ago and have no methods to pay it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I get revenge against a laundry snatcher?
POST: Happy Saturday Redditors!
I need your help with the best way to handle this very aggravating situation. Last night I put in a load of laundry, went to toss it in the dryer and planned on picking it up this morning. I mosey on down to the locked laundry room and it's gone. Nowhere to be seen. We have a large counter right next to the two dryers that we normally put done loads on if you have a load that needs to go in but alas, mine has just vanished.
Here is the bummer: it was my bedding, including my thinkgeek binary blanket which keeps you quite warm in the winter. It's about 10 degrees here in Chicago and someone store my effing bedding. Who does that!? The thought of stealing something from someone else doesn't even enter my mind let alone their clothing.
If you have any ideas on the best way to handle this please offer your advice. I put a gentle note in the laundry room asking for it to be returned. But is that where it should end? Should I call my rental agency?
Thanks guys!
TL;DR: | Someone stole my laundry including my bedding out of the laundry room in my small apartment complex. Any advice on how to handle it would be fantastic. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Wedding Blanket?
POST: I'm a plus size bride, with a [stunning strapless, sweetheart necklined gown.] I'm extremely self conscious about my arms. I've been looking for the last year (long engagement) to find the right cover up and I haven't really found anything I've loved.
I recently went on another search and discovered [this coverup from etsy.] I'm having a winter wedding (albeit in SoCal), so I actually think this will help keep me warm as our wedding will be outside, and won't clash with the design/elements of my wedding dress, in addition to covering my arms. The issue is, the Etsy wrap is too expensive for me to pull the trigger. I found [an ivory throw blanket on Amazon for $12.99] that is similar, but obviously not as high quality. Would it be totally weird for me to use a throw blanket as a cover?
I'm wondering if anyone else had a winter wedding and used a similar cover up. How you felt about it (look wise and practically). Did it get in the way? Did you feel like it covered the dress too much in photos?
Would it be silly for me to buy a throw blanket as a cover up? Is it worth the splurge to get the nice one? Any suggestions for similar, but less expensive cover ups? I'd actually be willing to spend more on a nicer throw blanket, since I could re-use it.
I also considered this [cover up for my arms] but decided against it because it won't really keep me warm or cover my arms that well, and it changes the neckline of the dress, which bothers me.
TL;DR: | I want to cover up my arms, like an expensive cover up, but am looking for more budget friendly options... including a throw blanket, lol |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [41 M] wondering how you decide if its worth trying to save a marriage. Wife [39 F], married 18 yrs.
POST: My wife and I had a good relationship early on, but we have been drifting apart. We just aren't interested in the same things anymore. From the start, we agreed on not having children, but a few years ago, she decided she has to have a child. I grudgingly agreed to try fostering children, but on the condition that she takes care of the child mostly, with me helping out only occasionally. We have a toddler with us that she wants to adopt. It seems like all she is interested in now is parenting, and we don't have many good conversations anymore.
I work a lot and have a business that I hope to make very successful someday, but its going very slowly. I like to talk about big philosophical topics and she just doesn't have the time or interest for those kinds of conversations anymore. She feels like our relationship is pretty much worthless now, since I work so much and when we do have time together, its spent just running after a toddler and talking about menial daily issues. Is it time to just end the marriage and go our separate ways? Is it possible to rekindle a relationship when the two people have grown in two totally different directions?
TL;DR: | Our interests/lives have drifted apart. How do you know if there's a chance at rekindling the love? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Getting with older women?
POST: I went away with my parents this week to a beach town where we're meeting up with some of my parent's friends. When we got here we went to see them, and one of their daughter's friends who came with them caught my eye. We went for a walk on the boardwalk as a group but I spent a lot of time talking to her. By the time we left for the hotel I feel like she might like me, but there's a problem. She's 19 and going into university in Canada this year, while I'm 15 going to my sophomore year in high school hundreds of miles away. I really want to get with her before I leave to go home as I think I might never see her again afterward :(. So anyway, I'd love some advice on how to make moves on her without seeming like some kid who's way too young for her. She wouldn't seem older if you didn't know that she was. (I thought she was 16) Thought that that information was relevant.
Thanks!
TL;DR: | 15 year old with 3 days to get with 19 year old. Needs advice on how to come off as more mature. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [20 M] wishes I [21 F] were more confident.
POST: My boyfriend and I recently were discussing things we found the most attractive about each other and he brought up the fact that he wishes I were more confident. I asked him what he meant, and he said he is tired of always being the one to take charge when I am stressed. I do admit, I worry a little too much and do get stressed, but whenever I talk to him I am not looking for my problems to be solved. I am only wanting to vent. I even told him this. Still he insisted it was unattractive that I have very little confidence in myself and am not the type to take charge. He also has mentioned how he wished I was more spontaneous and took more risks.
I don't even know what to say to this. I am on the shy side. I know I need to be more confident. It is something I was told throughout my childhood by my parents. As for the spontaneous thing, I didn't even realize this was a problem. However, apparently he has felt this way for awhile. I just feel like I am not the risk taker who throws caution to the wind. Whenever we have conversations like this, I get all tongue tied and don't know what to say. I know communication is key, but I don't know what to say reddit.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend wishes I was more confident and spontaneous. I don't know what to say to this or what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20f] first relationship. He [24M] says he might finally be ready to feel deep feelings again...after six months?
POST: Okay, I am just very confused. I really need unbiased perspective on this. So this is a "long distance" relationship (we see each other on average every 2 weeks, but now get a full few weeks together), and we've been dating almost six months. He told me at the beginning of our relationship that he was...damaged? Not sure what word he used. Seemingly from whatever happened with his last girlfriend. I think they had been separated for 7-8 months before we started dating, and their relationship was like a year and a half.
Well last night I finally got the details of what he meant. He says he thought she was perfect, and that his senior year when he was dating her was the best of his life. But that then she went to school and decided he wasn't as important to her as she had said. That messed him up, and he admits he shouldn't have believed she was perfect. But he says ever since that break up he hasn't felt capable of feeling deep feelings, and that now he is feeling anxious because he thinks maybe we are at that stage...and that so far he has been very guarded (I have too).
I got upset because that means at the beginning of the relationship he knew he couldn't feel deep feelings. I didn't think that was fair to me. And I don't want to have to "coach" someone into feeling again...I shouldn't have to. It also seems like he's not over her...but he claims he is enough and no one is ever COMPLETELY over another person. Am I right in being upset? I have no idea how to proceed from here...
And an outside issue--for the past few days I have been really distant with him because frankly he was annoying and I am pretty pessimistic about us spending longer than 2 years together (that is when I graduate)...I haven't told him that.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of six months finally says he may be able to develop deep feelings for me...but apparently has been closed off and incapable of doing so for our whole relationship thus far. What does this mean for me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: How do I deal with my girlfriends mentally unstable ex?!
POST: A little backstory to help you help me. They dated for around 5 years and in the last 1-2 became very off and on, breaking up and getting back together. This dude was a friggin douche! Btw she's 21 and he is the same age, I'm 22. Anyways, he seems really mentally unstable, calls her really bad names, and breaks up with her, then will literally try to call her 400 times in a row and leave messages crying, idk how he has testicles and calls himself a man. He also told her he would kill himself if they didn't get back together. He threatens every guy that looks at her, me and her are together now and actually plan to get married soon, alas he is still kinda in the picture. He thinks they are still together and says he's sick and tired of me haha. Well anyways I think a good old fashioned ass whooping would do some justice but this guy is literally insane, I would not at all be surprised if he tried to kill me, therefore he's a threat. So.... She blocked his number but a no caller id still calls 80 times a day. How can I get rid of him, he finds ways to call her from his computer crying and begging her back, would a restraining order even do it? If he hits me can I charge assault? How do I rid this guy from our lives? The girlfriend is too scared to take action and thinks it will cause more drama but I don't see him letting up anytime soon.
TL;DR: | girlfriend has an insane ex that won't stop calling and bugging her regardless of blocking him on everything, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Goodbye to your D1 scholarship
POST: This is about as petty as it gets.
So some girl decided to insult my friend who plays basketball. He's notorious for being good and dunking and she decided to poke fun.
Anyhow, insults go back and forth and she eventually said something about me being Chinese (when I'm not) and going back to my home town. Her and her friends thought she was so funny and so I decided to enact some petty revenge.
I screenshotted the comment. I then went to her university's page and went to "submit" an email to the athletic department about the "racist" comment. I wrote out the email and closed the tab but not before taking a screenshot of that email.
I showed it to her and her friends and now she's worried about losing a D1 scholarship. I actually didn't send it since that's extremely messed up but hey, if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. I'll tell them tomorrow.
TL;DR: | pretended to email a D1 school about one of their signees being "racist". Signee is now a bit rattled. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: A Quick Petty Revenge
POST: This is my first post, always been a lurker. However today was the day I post on here...
I am sure everyone has there day, but today a car came up behind me going 70+ mph on a 50mph road. Well I was in the far lane and moving at 5 over the speed limit - starting to pass the other two lanes. Well After this guy did not use his blinker and was coming up so fast... I slowed down and let him stew for a couple of minutes before speeding up just enough to get past the car I was trying to get around. He angrily took off again only to be stopped by the next group of cars... That is my petty revenge for the day...
TL;DR: | Guy is excessively speeding and not using his blinkers... two groups of cars forced him to slow down and feel some justice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My fiance (29M) refuses to shower and it bothers me (25F)
POST: I have been with my fiance for four years. He proposed to me in May and we plan on getting married next year.
He is great...except for one thing. He doesn't shower daily. or even every other day. Now I am OCD. I shower daily and have great hygiene and it grosses me out to sleep in bed (a nice clean bed) with him when he is bathing in his works funk. He doesn't smell awful but he does smell and I don't know how to deal with it. I've tried being nice. I've tried being mean. I've even banned him from sleeping with me in bed and now he sleeps on the couch instead almost every night. He never used to be like this and it's gotten really bad in the past 6 months.
What do I do? Why do you think he would rather not take a quick 5 minute shower than sleep in bed with me? I'm depressed over it but it grosses me out! Help!
TL;DR: | Fiance won't shower and would rather sleep on the couch than take a shower to be clean so he can sleep in bed with me. |
Subsets and Splits