prompt
stringlengths 73
2.47k
| completion
stringlengths 71
279
|
|---|---|
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My co-worker [24 F] seems to have gotten really close to me [22 M] but she's also seeing someone. Is there anything that I can do about it?
POST: We were hired together last August, were seated by each other, and immediately got along well. Similar nerdy interests, make each other laugh,etc. About 2 months ago we started texting each other a lot and now share almost everything going on in each other's lives with each other. In my experience this has always meant that a girl likes me; there have been times that after a full week working together we'd spend 3 hours texting on a Friday night.
She just moved from another city and I think she still has a limited social circle. In July she was set up with this guy through a mutual friend and has been seeing him ever since. Around October she started calling him her boyfriend until he took umbrage to it as he "doesn't like labels", so they're "seeing each other". She seemed a bit disappointed but has stuck with him. Before moving here she had been in a ~4 year relationship so this strikes me as a rebound/person to hang out with that she doesn't want to step away from even if it's going nowhere.
Last weekend she invited me to go to a movie with another friend [F] who also brought a guy. Didn't seem too "date"-like, but I do suspect that she may've been trying to get her friend's opinion on me. I keep trying to invite her to spend time with a group of my friends but she keeps having other plans.
Is there anything that I can do here? I really like this job and can't afford to have an awkward situation here. I don't think that I can confront her about it but at the same time trying to be patient is really frustrating.
TL;DR: | Co-worker clearly seems to like me but is seeing someone else, I feel like I have nothing that I can do about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: In response to "My Kindergartner is already learning about black history ..."
POST: So, when I first read [this post] I was surprised because it made me think differently about Black History month being celebrated in younger age groups. As a teacher and mother of a 2nd grader, I thought this parent may have a point. I read the comments, most everyone disagreed, and I moved on.
Cut to a few nights ago, my second grader (who is a white female) tells me she isn't proud of being white because white people did such bad things to brown people. I was floored. I have never really questioned teaching Black History month before this and I still think it is an important history to teach however, my 7 year old experienced white guilt and that sucks.
I stammered, trying to explain that most every "kind" of people (whether is be gender, race, religion, etc) had something positive and negative to add to society. Jumped back and forth about issues with today and Women's rights and gay rights. I couldn't figure out how to approach it all gently and was starting to fail. I finally just explained to her that she cannot blame herself for the history of others and it is up to her to create her own legacy.
I understand that children see color. I've had to explain that it doesn't make a difference what the outside looks like, etc. But, how much detail should we go into with our kids? Is it detrimental to our children for them to know about civil rights atrocities at the age of 7 or should we be encouraging a future without those atrocities?
TL;DR: | 7 year old feeling white guilt because of Black History Month. Are we giving these kids too much of a history lesson? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Any Tips on Picking Up Girls in Public?
POST: Hi, I've had a lot of trouble with dating friends and people close to me, so I'm looking to sort of find and date people that I don't already know.
I'm a 17 y/o male. I live in a very small town and have somewhat exhausted my "resources."
So, my plan is to go out to surrounding towns and just try to find somebody there, because I'm really ready to start dating again.
Does reddit have any tips on starting conversations with girls and ultimately getting a number or some equivalent?
Some detail: I'll probably be in places like coffee shops, book stores, and just regular stores or just walking around town.
TL;DR: | I'm consciously going out of town, to public places, to try and find someone to date. Weird, right? Any tips? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] mother [54F] died and I don't know how to feel.
POST: My mom always had a problem with addiction, or so I was told. She got clean and had my brother, J, and I back to back. When she was in labor with me I managed to break her tailbone. They prescribed her heavy painkillers and thus, her addiction was back.
So, in a roundabout way, I contributed to my mother's problems.
She left on Halloween. She left me at home by myself (13 months) while my brothers and dad were out trick or treating. I didn't see her again until my oldest brother, M, graduated high school almost five years later.
Over the years she would randomly call, her mom would send us cards on our birthdays, and she sent me a congrats on graduating college card when I graduated high school. She spelled my name wrong.
After experiencing what it feels like to be a mom, I was so devastated that someone could choose drugs over their child. I could never in my life imagine something so selfish or so evil. It made me question what kind of person I was which is stupid because I was a fucking baby (but hormones) that she would be so willing to just up and take off without her kids.
And now she's dead. And I feel terrible. I feel hurt. But, I'm also confused. I'll never get to ask her why. I'll never get to try and mend the relationship even if I had wanted to. I'll never get to introduce her to my daughter. I'll never get to say goodbye to the woman who didn't say goodbye to me.
I don't know how to feel. I don't know if I should go to her funeral. I would really like some help and advice if anyone has any.
TL;DR: | my estranged mom left when I was baby and she died of a drug overdose. unsure how to proceed and how to feel. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Muffin revenge
POST: This morning, I made some wonderful blueberry-lemon buttermilk muffins with my friend. They were heavenly- light and fluffy, not too sweet, with a lemon glaze drizzled over the top. We made 2 batches- about 20 muffins- and after indulging in a few ourselves, I decided to being some home to my family.
My friend lives only about a mile away from my house, but I didn't feel like carrying a box of muffins (as a surprise for my family) and my nice tablet for a mile, so I called my mom and asked if she could drive me, since I know she wasn't doing anything. She said I needed to walk. Well, I was quite pissed at that- I'm carrying muffins for them for a mile? In 90+F weather? In a hoodie? Hell naw.
So, I ate a couple to lighten the load, but then remembered that I'll walk by a few of my other friend's houses. So, I gave each of them a muffin, and arrived home with an empty box that obviously held my muffins, and left it on the kitchen island, in full view of my family. Take that.
TL;DR: | Made muffins. Mom made me walk a mile, so I gave away their muffins to my friends (who loved them), and put the box that clearly held the muffins right in front of my family. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: AskReddit, were my parents just the victims of malicious social engineering?
POST: First post, apologies if I missed a rules violation. I've already asked my father to send me as detailed an account of what happened on a 3rd computer as soon ashe could, but I wanted to get thoughts on this ASAP.
My father is legally blind & retired - he uses ZoomText to work on the computer, which magnifies text to an absurd degree and makes it extremely slow to work. Last week he was called by a 'male with a foreign accent', who was supposedly from Microsoft. This man said that he was calling about malware that had been detected on my father's computer. This time, both my parents did not provide any information and hung up on him. However, coincidentally or not, the desktop computer in question failed to boot up (post). At this point, they called me, and I told them to change their passwords on everything and not use that computer until they could bring it into a GeekSquad or something.
This morning I called my Dad, and he mentioned that the man had again called, and this time he had given him remote desktop into his laptop. At this point, I basically lost my shit, telling him we probably just compromised all our investment/bank accounts and maybe even our identities. I instructed him to:
Not use either the original desktop or laptop any more
Change all of the passwords to all accounts on a 3rd computer (this is already done theoretically)
Alert the police
Am I right to be worried? Are there any specific details I should ask my father to provide? Who should my parents alert locally, if anyone?
TL;DR: | Some random guy called my Dad twice claiming their was malware on my Dad's computer. On the second time, my Dad gave him remote desktop access. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need advise on how to deal with game-playing in a relationship.
POST: Advice*** sorry.
So, last night, one of of my good friends who I never get to see anymore texted me and asked if I'd like to hang out with his youth group and watch the heat game. Obviously I accepted. I should add here that neither of us have friends outside of each other so we spend 99% of our time together. My girlfriend and I live together, and I let her know where I was going before i left. The game ended sometime around 12, I left my friends house by 11:30 and was home by 12. On the way home i gave her a call to which she said "Is there anything wrong? No? Then i'm going to bed." So i get home and she's not talking to me. I tell her that grown ups use their words when they're upset and how she's acting is unacceptable and i wont tolerate it. Blah blah she felt left out blah blah. We talk, i maintain frame and definitely don't apologize and we end up kissing and going to bed. Fast-forward to today. She gets off of work at 6 and is usually home by 6:30. at 8:30 She calls me 20 minutes after i call her asking me to read her schedule to herand find out what time she works in the morning; implying she'll be out LATE. Mind you, she hates her coworkers, and we're both netflix bums who never go anywhere special (without eachoter)Shes obviously just playing annoying petty, relationship mind-games but i'm wondering what the most alpha response is. Should i let her come home to see me playing halo as if i had a blast and didn't notice her absence (unwavering oak tree alpha) or go nuclear and tell here i cant date someone who is mentally immature enough to play stupid ass mind games? I know, living with an ex is hard, and i do love her, but i'm worried that if i accept this behavior it will just betatize me in her eyes and doom our relationship anyway. Sorry for the long read.
TL;DR: | I stayed out late last night with friends now she's staying out late with her coworkers (who she hates). How do i respond? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [42 M] with my Friend [28 F] got pretty close but i don't know where i'm going - Need advice!
POST: Reddit i need your power :)
Me and this girl, let's give her a fake name, Sheila, met a couple of years ago during a Yelp event in the City where i worked.
During the course of the years we attended many events and got pretty close: it was easy, we have many interests in common and notwithstanding the age difference we got along pretty well.
For the sake of brevity let me use a SWOT analysis to summarize the situation:
#STRENGTHS
* She is smart, shy, very kind and cute. When she wears her glasses she is completely adorable.
* She likes my sense of humor.
* I consider myself "not an asshole", i do my best to be supportive and try to be not self-centered.
#WEAKNESSES
We often chat on whatsapp and facebook, we send each other "good morning" and "good night" **every day**, but beside telling me that i'm "a good person" she has never given me any other signals that she want "more" than a good friendship.
#OPPORTUNITIES
Six years ago i broke up with a girl quite **badly**. I wasn't able to open myself to another person for fear of being hurt again. Now that i have found Sheila, i feel that her kindness is finally healing me and i think she would complete me.
#THREATS
* She has a **boyfriend**, don't know much about him, he doesn't attend the yelp events.
* The age difference.
* I'm currently trying to kickstart my business in a different country and i'm usually thinking how much i want to see and talk with her. That is problematic for my business, but i would return to our country it that would mean to be with her.
How can i break from the deadlock ?
TL;DR: | i've found a girl i like and we got close, but she has a boyfriend. I don't know how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Engaged, trying to build credit so we can buy a home. Have outstanding debt that is affecting my credit score. Should I use my down payment savings to pay off the debt?
POST: I have about $4,000 saved up as a nest egg, as a potential down payment for a cheap starter home/furniture/etc. I'm working to build my credit so I can get some semblance of a loan. My credit is poor because I am young and uninsured, and I had to have an emergency surgery last year and defaulted on a couple payments. I have all the small defaulted bills payed off, but have one still sitting there that is about $1500. I *could* use my savings to pay that off and hopefully get my credit rebuilt more quickly, but then that's a huge chunk of my savings gone. Would getting rid of that last payment be worth it? I'm scared to take so much out of my savings, but if it would positively affect my credit score quickly, it might be?
TL;DR: | keep my savings with one outstanding defaulted medical bill in case I need a bigger down payment, or spend my savings on clearing all debt? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F ] just broke up with my [29 M] partner.
POST: I'm constantly advised just to have sex and don't catch any feelings but part of me feels bad when I'm treated like a blow-up doll, the last man I had feelings for just told me today he was seeing someone else while excusing himself with my age and that we don't live in the same city anymore, I gave him lots of time and he did hurt me pretty often (to the point where I thought I was in an emotionally abusive relationship), he is the first person I slept with and while that's irrelevant, he knew all my feelings and how crazy I was for him just to throw them in the trash for someone else. He knew I admired him and I loved his work he was absolutely fascinating to me and he is by far the most interesting person I've met no matter how conflicted he was.
I just don't want to have any feelings anymore I don't know how people do to feel happy or even get in a relationship, I gave so much for him and this is how I'm treated in the end.
TL;DR: | I need advise to get over him and move on since he cheated (because of our "long distance relationship" and age) and I became extremely clingy to him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Stepbrother's half brother just died. What do I say
POST: My (F 23) now ex-stepbrother (M 21) has always been a member of my family, no questions asked. His mom had another son with her first husband, making him my stepbrother's older half brother. Sorry, I know it's confusing.
The older brother was just killed in a car accident yesterday and I don't know what to do. I'm across the country working for a couple more months so I'm trying to do everything I can but I'm limited in my options. My heart aches for him. Our parents are no longer together so we have no blood or marital connection, but that doesn't stop him from being my family. He was very close to his brother but I barely knew him.
People who have experienced this kind of thing, what really helped? What was unhelpful? I know I can't fix it but he's the kind of guy who is extremely self contained and I don't want him to feel alone or like he needs to move past this or anything. I feel helpless.
TL;DR: | Stepbrother's brother died and I desperately want to be as supportive and helpful as I can be but I'm at a loss. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M]with my girlfriend [21F] of 3 months, am i overthinking or should i be worried?
POST: Firstly, i met this girl off tinder, we spoke and had mutual friends including family memers even though ive never met her. We dated for about a month before it became official and we didnt really do anything but make out/kiss. She wanted to wait, even tho shes slept with 3 others. Apprentently im more attractive then her im considered a 8-9 while shes a 6-7 by my friends opinion but i choose personslity over looks anyday, shes really insecure and in early dating stages, told me why am i dating a girl like her. So we spend a lot of time together, shes really out going, opinionated and constantly tells me she loves me. I would do anything for her, and honestly fell really hard for her. As for me, keep to myself, dont care about social media and like to keep a small group.
So i want to know if i should be worried, shes totally into social media, including a twitter, instagram, snapchat and facebook, constantly uploading pictures and such.
So things have been happening, i want to know if i should be worried, confront her? She doesnt know i know she has twitter. She favorits post from a guy she was dating before me, also mentioned she told me this guy called her like 2 weeks ago at night to tell her he forgives her for getting into a relationship(weird).
Instagram likes and comments on other guys. Nothing sexual or flirting, just liking pictures and like emotij's.
Snapchats recently on her story that are a bit sedective, for example, cleavage, laying on bed on her stomach pose, like ass in air, wearing cloths obviously.
Also she says shes dated a lot of guys and never gave names. I trust her and we've met some of each others siblings. And honestly its moving fast.
Also she has a staring problem where she stares at people (guys) constantly infront of me, i ask her about it n she says she didnt know.
TL;DR: | gf of 3 months is a social media queen, does random things that make me jealous, also doesnt even mention she has a boyfriend on any of these. Should i be worried? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with guy [19m] I just met, is it normal to be ignored the first few days?
POST: Hey reddit, this is my first post so please be gentle :)
So a couple days ago, he (let's called him Jake) approached me as I finished my shift at work. He was really friendly and easy to talk to while he walked me over to my car. Jake ended up giving me his number and I texted him a couple hours later because I wanted to give him a chance since he seemed decent. We were exchanging a few texts here and there and I told him I would text him again later since I had a few things to get done at the moment, and didn't want to leave him hanging. So I texted him again the next day, and we were slowly getting to know each other. He called me and we talked a bit more, and he seems like a really sweet guy.
Now, it's the next day. Nothing. Is this a normal thing you guys do when it comes to picking up girls? Or did I scare him off? I'm new to the dating scene since I got out a long-term relationship, so I don't know if this is the norm or if I did something wrong. A little insight would be nice!
TL;DR: | Guy approached me after work and gave me his number. We were talking quite a bit the first two days, and now nothing. Did I scare him off? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I start my first retail job tomorrow (christmas casual) and I'm a bit intimidated by all these numbers/ranks/etc, any tips?
POST: As the title says, I start work at a popular chain of videogame stores tomorrow and while there is an 'expiration date' as such, there is a possibility of moving up to permanent part time after christmas. However, the deal is that there is another christmas casual starting this week, and he and I are essentially battling for that one permanent part time position. Needless to say, I want that position.
The only problem is..I've never done anything in retail before, so the manager was quickly explaining aspects like KPI/UPS (key performance index/units per sale) and I find the whole concept of upselling scary. I have a decent knowledge of games, so I shouldn't have any real problems fielding questions from customers, however I'm just worried at the fact that my performance will get boiled down to numbers and I'll get ranked, and I'm afraid that I'll suck.
Any help from experienced redditors would be greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | Start work at video game store tomorrow, suck at retail, want to do good enough to continue working there after christmas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my SO [27 M] my friends think he is too old for me??
POST: My boyfriend is 27, and I am 20 but will be turning 21 in a few short months. Im currently in undergrad and he is working. My school is private and somewhat elitist, its tucked away neatly in a small town, with over a 1000 students. So basically, everyone fucks everyone. The guys can be kind of douchey because they have their pick of women, who else are the girls going to find while away at school?
My boyfriend and I met happenstance online. Our relationship is wonderful. It's healthy, we communicate well, and we respect each other. I am *really* happy. He recently met a few of my family members and they liked him too, and said nothing of the age difference, not even once.
I have lived on my own in a foreign 2nd world country for nearly half a year while we were dating, I've had several jobs and I currently live on my own. I do not feel like maturity is a problem, although I won't be naive, I know that there are certain things that just come with growing up.
The problem is, a few of my friends at school don't care for the age difference. They don't necesarrily disappprove of the relaitonship, but when I bring him around they get awkward and act quiet. They know he is the best guy I've ever had, and he treats me very well. However, they can't/won't relate to him. Some of my more "worldly" friends are just fine and have no problem with his age.
It is really upsetting because I love him and I know he is a good person, and I know he is good for me. My friends all agree that he is awesome and nice, but those few friends talking about his age bothered me. Why can't they just be happy for me?
I should mention when we met we didnt know each others ages, I knew he was probably somewhat older but he honestly thought I was 23 or 24. I wasoriginally taken aback by his age as was he but we ended up falling in love.
Do you all think the difference is an issue?
TL;DR: | my friends are a little critical of the age difference although we all agree the relationship is healthy. What do you think? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [27M] have a great, near 'dream job' opportunity that if I take might cost me my relationship of 7 years...
POST: I have a great offer to work in a new location that is very close to the ideal situation as far as my career advancement. I've made sure to express that I see this as a 'stepping stone'. My current job pays well but offers nothing for career advancement and development. I'm becoming a dull, lazy, resentful person due to this job.
The living situation at the new opportunity is nearly the opposite of where we are now(NYC) and verges on being suburban though there is a major city 30 min to the East of where it would be. She has made it clear that she has no intention / willingness to move so, our only option at this point is an LDR.
The problem with an LDR is the third of our relationship was LDR while we were completing college. Due to this, she considers another LDR 'going backwards' which I can understand but disagree with because I will only be hours away instead of time zones away like we were originally. I believe that physical distance is not a death sentence if trust and emotional commitment are stronger.
I've tried to explain that I want to be with her permanently and if I do this I can be a happier, more providing SO in the future.
Nothing is decided but I regret not including her in the discussions earlier however every time I began to talk she would get defensive and conversation would shut down.
There is more to say but in general I'm completely torn and nervous. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | New and great job opportunity in a place where my SO refuses to move and thinks an LDR is 'going backwards' due to how our relationship started. I'm at a crossroads and don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my ex-girlfriend (bestfriend) [22 F] 8 months or so, Split up and now are spending a massive amount of time together, I'm confused.
POST: Let me preface this with this. Back in December when we split she said it was due to personal issues. She said that she was still hurting over her previous relationship and needed space to figure out what she wanted. That along with depression and other issues.
Fast forward to now. We started talking again about a month ago after no contact for three months. We pretty much instantly got EXTREMELY close again. Not long after we began getting intimate. This obviously got me (as well as her) very confused. We casually joked about like "What are we?" and the whole friends-with-benefits thing. I knew my feelings for her were coming back and in time she said she was beginning to have feelings for me again as well.
Tonight I decided to get serious and ask what we were and what we were going to do. I was met with a lot of "I don't know"'s and generic answers. She mentioned that "The positives and negatives are equal" and that "If I felt like I was going to get hurt hanging around so much that I don't need to spend time with her". This just kind of strikes me the wrong way. It doesn't feel like she cares to answer or be serious about it. Perhaps I caught her when she was tired and not all there. Perhaps I should ask again in a few days?
I'm so lost. I have strong feelings for her, but I'm not sure what to do. I'm terrified of destroying what we have right now. A friend of mine suggested that she was leading me on and I needed to distance myself from her ASAP. I don't take her as that kind of person.
TL;DR: | broke up, got very close again after not speaking for a while. not sure what to do with feelings, she said she has feelings too, but doesn't know. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [24M] My sister [22F] is in an abusive relationship, she has ostracised herself from her family members and has moved in with him [23M]. They have a child together and I am worried about her and her daughter.
POST: I really don't know what to do. It is confusing so I will write it out as simply as possible.
November 2012: he was arrested for, what we thought at the time, was drunk and disorderly, but we found out in January 2014 that it was for assaulting my sister (she had said that it was for drunk and disorderly).
November 2013: their daughter was born.
January 2014: they were both arrested for a drunken domestic incident in which she stabbed him after he had hit her.
February 2014: they were both on bail. At the end of the bail they were both released.
They have both, since, rekindled their relationship, and have moved in. Since our family do not like him, for obvious reasons I think, she has since moved in with him and has decided to ostracise herself from us.
They are both unstable and I am so worried about her and the baby. The fact that we aren't being told anything by social services, or my sister, is making everything all the more difficult.
It's been two months since any one in our family last saw her I really don't know how to approach this situation any further. She flat out will not talk to any one in our family. Social services and his family will not talk about any of it. She seems to have lied to her friends about the whole situation as well as none of them were aware of the incident in January of this year.
I just feel a bit lost and frightened and could use some advice with how to approach this.
TL;DR: | sister is in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend and father of their 5 month old daughter, she has ostracised herself from family members in order to be with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Recent college grad looking for some quick advice...
POST: So, to begin with some backstory, as the title says, I'm a recent college grad, and just after I started work in February I had gotten dumped pretty harshly by my now ex of about 2 years. So this whole dating with not knowing the person prior is pretty foreign to me. For the most part I've understood that it's best to wait around a month to ask about being exclusive, but what about when you start having sex? As I've only had long lasting relationships, I'd say it's hard for me to judge if having sex a couple times after two weeks (and you like the person enough) and asking to be exclusive in se form isn't a bit of a taboo subject still.
Some more clarification, met a girl a few weeks after being dumped, went on a few dates and had sex within a week. Had one more date with sex after and have since split. I did ask for some sense of what she was feeling about moving towards being exclusive, which was met with her wanting to split.
TL;DR: | When after having sex should you ask to be exclusive if you think things are going well? Even if the general month-ish trial period isn't anywhere near close? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Am I an arachnophobe?
POST: My family keeps a refrigerator in our garage, and today I went in there to get something when I saw this awful looking black widow in the corner. I freaked out and rushed back inside, this was also the first time I have ever genuinely screamed out of fear in recent memory. Furthermore, its been about a half hour and I still feel quite anxious and paranoid since I saw the spider. For about as long as I remember, I've had a fear of spiders, but I've been told by a friend that everyone is afraid of spiders so I'm not a "genuine arachnophobe" like some people. I looked online and I have found varying definitions about the exact meaning of arachnophobia, some say that anyone who fears spiders in general has it, while others list very narrow prerequisites for the phobia. I feel like my fear is far worse than the general fear of spiders, as whenever I see a picture of a particularly nasty spider I suddenly become very nervous and I can feel my heart rate go up. For some spiders, however, this is not the case. I saw a small spider crawling on the wall the other day and I wasn't afraid, I actually approached it to get a closer look. My question: is what I'm describing arachnophobia? Or is this just a natural fear, like being afraid when seeing a shark while swimming? Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | I saw a black widow and became frightened, screamed, and stopped what I was doing to go somewhere else. I'm also afraid of some pictures of spiders. Is this arachnophobia? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [M17] not sure if I want a relationship
POST: So basically, I've had shitty luck when it comes to relationships, longest one was a month, which I spoke with the girl twice, whilst going on 4 or 5 dates prior. I was heartbroken when she split up with me, never got a reason.
Met a girl from Tinder, she talks to me every other day, not the kind of girl I'd date, however, she sends revealing pictures over facebook even though she only classes me as "a friend she can go to for anything". Can't tell if it's a hint as I'm bad at reading females. She offers to come over for a few hours, doesn't live far away but we originally went on a first date, felt like I had a slight connection, then she said a first date didn't mean anything and she ended up going on a first and second date with a guy about two weeks later which put me off as she focused completely on his looks, until he tried to change how she acted (to make her more feminine if I remember correctly).
I want a female to spend time with, romantic time, movies, dates, kisses, hugs and all that, but feel like I want a girlfriend. I'm confused and it's gradually making me more and more frustrated. I'm far from the best looking, a bit chunky so I don't have a pick in girls really as a majority focus on looks.
I'm speaking to a girl at the minute who said she wouldn't be speaking to me unless she could see us going somewhere, relationship wise. I went on a doubled date with her and a good friend (who's already in a long term relationship) and they said me and this girl are cute together, however I can't see it going further as she doesn't seem too interested.
TL;DR: | Is it worth trying to find a girlfriend, or just spending time with someone? How do I go about meeting new people? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] refuse to 'chase' or 'roll out the red carpet' when I am pursing. Is this wrong?
POST: "If she is as ambitious and intelligent as I want her to be, she will see everything I have to offer her and send me an indication of interest."
I understand that as a male in the US, I am obligated to initiate the first 'step' in showing interest to someone. Specifically, me telling her that "I enjoy spending time with you", or "I think you are really interesting".
When I let a girl know that I am interested in her and ask if she wants to spend time with me, I expect that she reciprocates my notion if she is interested and agrees.
If I ask a girl out for coffee and she says anything but "yes, when?" then I take it as a solid "No."
"Maybe, Possibly, We'll See, I'll Let you know", any possible variable besides a solid yes, to me, is a rejection. So I immediately stop (romantically) talking to her.
Any step that I take to pursue her after I initially make my intentions clear, I consider that 'chasing'.
Someone on facebook posted that her boyfriend would ask her out a few times a week for an entire year until she finally caved and now they are married. I think that the idea of being with somebody who is making you beg to be with them is just so GROSS and BELITTLING. And I refuse to do it.
Reddit: Am I being unreasonable? Should I wake up to the real world?
TL;DR: | When I make my intentions/feelings clear to a girl ONCE, I do not pursue until she reciprocates my attention and I am asking you guys if this is a false way of thinking. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (31m) want to get back my fiancée (31f) who recently left me. We have a 5 year old daughter together.
POST: Sunday my fiancée left me saying she is unhappy with our relationship and doesn't think it can be fixed. She says we have the same problems over and over again and they never get fixed. I haven't always been the best partner in terms of support but I want to change. I've told her that and how I feel about her but she thinks I'm only saying these things because she left. I have taken her for granted and fear it may be too late. Over the past few days I've tried talking to her and telling her how I feel about her and how I want to fix our relationship given the chance but it doesn't work. I've been devastated. I've been missing work because I feel like half of me is missing. I also worry about our daughter growing up without her mom and dad together. What can I do to fix this?
TL;DR: | I'm trying to fix my relationship of 8 years since my fiancée left but nothing seems to work. I need some advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do you think it's possible to be "soul mates" with a person you would never date?
POST: Let me try to put that in better perspective... In Greek mythology there is this belief that humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs, and 2 heads, but Zeus was so afraid of their power like that that he split them apart and now they have to wander the earth looking for their other half(quite literally).
Reason I'm asking this particular question: I have this great friend and we are just so close it's like we can read each others mind. We've been through a ton a crap with each other and here we stand. I recently read the above myth and all I could think about was this person. I would never want to be in a relationship with them, or have sex with them, or anything like that... But I feel as though I would be nothing without them.
TL;DR: | Do you believe in "soul mates"? And if so, do you think you can be "soul mates" with someone you have no romantic feelings for? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by moaning my ex's name during oral with my new guy (nsfw)
POST: This happened just a couple hours ago and I feel awful and super embarrassed.
So, my ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. I had lost my virginity to him and he was the only guy I had done anything sexual with (oral, fingering, etc). I started seeing a new guy just a couple weeks ago and today we did oral stuff for the first time. I was laying on the couch and he went down on me and it was amazing and I was getting really into it, moaning and talking and all that (I'm quite vocal during sex). At one point during my moaning, my ex's name slipped out...and their names are not similar at all.
It took me a second to realize what I'd said and I wasn't sure if he'd heard it but I immediately tried to cover it up by saying something along the lines of "oh fuck [*insert correct name here*] you're so good" and loudly so he would definitely hear that. He acted pretty normal after but he's not the type to confront awkward conversations so he may have heard it and is just keeping it to himself but it's eating me up inside!
TL;DR: | moaned my ex's name during oral with my new guy; I'm not sure if he heard but I feel awful nonetheless. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Ever fallen for a scam while traveling? Or almost?
POST: I am usually good about this sort of thing but today I was scammed for the first time (that I know of) while visiting the terra-cotta warriors in Xi'an, China.
I was renting an audio guide from the official booth (which is, i think, why I let my guard down for a minute since it is government run but I suppose there are dishonest people everywhere) and as I was forking over the money for the deposit plus rental fee they started with the distraction.
They handed me a map and put the guide on my head while speaking quickly pressing lots of buttons and showing me how to use it (as if it weren't obvious).
Of course, it wasn't until later that I realized this had been a distraction to make me forget I hadn't been handed my change or receipt.
In the end I was luckily able to get my deposit back (but you can be sure the workers will be exchanging the receipt they kept for the 200 yuan deposit at the end of the day as it's not traceable anymore) but am out the 60 yuan in change.
It could have been much worse i suppose and this will make a good story slash cautionary tale.
So I'm currious, Reddit, have you fallen for any scams while traveling?
TL;DR: | Two clerks worked together to try to jip me out of a 200 yuan deposit plus 60 yuan in change for an audio guide. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [32 M] started chatting with a girl [23 F] online, we met once, keep getting mixed signals
POST: Hopefully, it wont get long. So, the girl I added on Facebook 2 months ago, that I never met before, messaged me a week ago, asking if I want to meet with her. We chatted a little and she seemed very open minded, funny, and from what I could see from her photos, she was very beautiful. But, on several occasions, she mentioned that she just like meeting new people and is not interested in anything romantic.
Anyway, she invited me for a drink to her place two days ago. Of course I went, and she was even more beautiful in person. I don't believe in love on the first sight, but I have to tell you, she really rocked my world when she opened the door. The evening went in a really smooth conversation, we have a lot of things in common, but nothing happened. I didn't want to push it because her saying that she's not interested in dating kept crossing my mind.
We continued with messaging and now she refers to me as her new friend; but on the other hand tells me that I'm cute. I don't know what to do. I would seriously love to get serious with her, because honestly, this doesn't happen very often to me, and she is exactly the type of person I want to be with. It's just that she has a lot of male friends and from what I can conclude, I'm in the same bucket with them.
TL;DR: | Met a girl I like on facebook. Met once in person, all went well, but she considers me a friend. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Getting bored and annoyed with BF. Think I'm falling for someone else. How to reignite relationship or should I leave?
POST: I'm 24. BF is 25. Living together. I love him, but lately I'm getting irritated by him. We barely have anything in common. He appears to have no real drive in life. He relishes in the status quo, whereas I am easily bored and seek new things.
Plus he has some dick moves: I don't think he does this intentionally, but he rarely makes any effort to help out with cooking/cleaning etc. I will make dinner- feed him; but after he finishes he will clean only his dishes and utensils and leave me to do the rest. No wonder my libido has been in the crapper.
We have fun going out for drinks and whatever, but we never have anything to say. Seems like he is silently judging me.
I want to fix things but not sure how to. To complicate things further, I think I am developing feelings for someone else who I have more in common with (think: same nerd factor). Should I jump ship, should I try to fix the most stubborn person in the world?
TL;DR: | BF does not seem to appreciate anything I do for him. He bores me. There may be a new guy I would rather be with because we are on the same nerd wavelength. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Americasbest401k, Lincoln Trust, looking for advise please.
POST: Our company has decided to move forward and change our 401k plan from Nationwide to Americasbest401k. Someone in our company read the book "Money:Master the Game" from Tony Robbins and apparently he recommended the company, which he also is a partner of (
Needless to say this is a red flag for me. Their broker is Linoln Trust in Colorado, and after some searching on the internet I stumbled across some very bad Yelp reviews, another red flag.
My arguments above weren't taken into consideration, that's why I would like to see if someone has any experience with the companies, both positive, and negative.
My questions are:
- Does someone have any experience with Americasbest401k or Lincoln Trust, if so please share any information you might have.
- Is it possible to rollover a 401k into a traditional 401k when the employer changes plan providers.
- What are the most reputable/reliable 401k providers out there, Vanguard seems to be a good option.
Links:
TL;DR: | Employer plans to change plan, new provider seems fishy. Also is 401k rollover possible when changing plan providers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by yelling
POST: Ok, so this fu happened yesterday not today. I just didn't have time until now. One more thing before I go on, is that this fuck up isn't really hilarious or cringing, but it made my parents think less of me.
So I (15 year old male) was playing MLB 2k13 (Please don't judge us. I don't own a ps3 or ps4 for mlb 15 the show) with my brother (14). It was just a casual game, and I was at bat with nobody out and a runner on third. I thought maybe if I hit a deep pop fly, I could score. So I did my best and succesfully hit a pop fly to the outfield, and was ready to jet home. But nope, it wouldn't let me. As soon as the catch was made, the play ended. I know they only had 2 months to develop that game, but couldn't you just use the same exact code from the previous year and just swapped textures and models, and sounds and shit like that? But of all things to happen, the play had to just end right then and there, without having given me enough time to even take off for home. So out of all anger I yell, "WHAT THE FUCK!?" And a second later I heard yelling directed toward me. Then my mom bolted in and told us to turn off the game and clean our room. After telling us what we needed to do, then she yells at me for swearing, then my dad comes in to yell at me again for the same bullshit like I didn't hear it the first time. Isn't once enough? Well, I've always tried to watch my language around them but this time, I failed.
TL;DR: | Was playing mlb 2k with my brother, wouldn't let me run home on a sacrafice fly and yelled what the fuck and my parents heard. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Is there any way to put 100k into an account for retirement without taking it out of income?
POST: I'm just about to graduate college and I am taking a personal finance class. I see the advantage of saving for retirement early but do not yet understand a lot of the intricacies of retirement accounts. I am very fortunate to have 100k in a brokerage account from my grandparents that I will receive chunks of at age 30 and 40. I was wondering if there is any type of account that I could place it in now, and just plan to have it build with interest until retirement instead of taking it out earlier. I understand that it would help me fund a Roth IRA or similar account but I am going into graduate school and won't be able to start one for several years, plus the years it would take to fully fund.
Also forgive me if I use any financial terms completely wrong or if this question is stupid, I am still learning.
TL;DR: | I have 100k that I want to get high interest on but I don't want to wait to fund a Roth IRA or 401k. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my Ex [23 F] of 6 years, after 8 months of break up she wants to get back together.
POST: We had different points of view on our last 6 months of our relationship and basically it was most of the time discussions. When we broke up she decided to have some time for herself and so do I. We went separate ways and I realized after 1 month that I wanted to be back with her, so I called her and she basically said no, that she needed more time and so on. I kept calling her for the next few months for the same reason then I realized she was dating someone else. They were officially a couple in October and I know because she told me. We met in early December and had a private meeting but didn't take the time to talk about us, we just smoke weed and had sex. After that we didn't talk until I realized she didn't send me a NYE or Christmas SMS or whatever so I sent her one early January to wish her all the best with her life and all that crap. We had a few calls on the weekend most of us drunk and then I drop the bomb that I had a girlfriend. The next weekend she told me she broke up with her boyfriend (last Saturdy). Today, she called me to meet. We met and she basically told me "I want to try it again". Funny thing is she broke up 1 week ago. I don't know what to think. I analyzed with her for 4 hours what could happened if we got back together, the pro, cons, etc.. After we said good bye she hugged me and said "I'm sorry for taking too long to realize".
Any opinions?
TL;DR: | Ex girlfriend of 6 years want to get back together after 8 months of being apart. In the meantime, she had a boyfriend for 4 months. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] Me [25F] with my boyfriend [28M] of 4 years, has recently become totally obsessed with anal sex
POST: Original post:
That evening I asked him if we could talk about something. I basically told him everything I wrote down here - how I was fed up with his anal obsession. To start with he was like *I thought you enjoyed it* and *I didn't seem to dislike it before*. I replied with telling him I used to enjoy it occasionally and I was trying to give him what he wanted but it has got too much. I also said if he wants to know what it's like to get your ass fucked repeatedly I will buy a strap on and fuck him. That shut him up.
Additionally, I said that I thought his porn habits are impacting on his behavior – that I think he is distorting reality and porn sex. Initially he was pissed that I had looked at his search history, which is fair, I probably shouldn't have. However, after he had some time to cool off he came back and said he was sorry and he knows he has a problem with porn but he doesn't know what to do.
We talked a lot more about it that night and we really opened up to each other. He said he would try and cut down on the porn he watches and I really hope he goes through with it. We agreed to not rush into having sex again and take things slow to try and make things more "special" again. Since then we have not had penetrative sex and he has not pushed for anything. We have fooled around a bit with oral etc and it was actually pretty great and I enjoyed it a lot more than a lot of the sex we have had recently.
So I hope things will be ok, I don't think the situation is over but if we both keep trying to make it work I think we will be fine. I told him I didn't want to break up with him over it and I think that made him realize how much it was bothering me. I just hope he can cut down on the porn.
TL;DR: | We talked a lot about things and think we can try work things out. He has agreed to cut down on watching porn. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 1 year. She wants to go through my phone, but I want my privacy
POST: Pretty simple situation - my girlfriend sometimes wants to look at my phone. She'll start flipping through my texts/pictures/whatever and I'm not ok with it. This is right in front of me, so it's not like she's being sneaky/shady about it. But I express that I'm not ok with it, and sometimes I'll have to physically remove the phone from her hands.
She lets me go on her phone and expects me to do the same for her. I know the password to it (she doesn't know mine) because she has asked me to use it for her for whatever reasons. I am EXTREMELY respectful of her privacy. Not once have I looked through her pictures, looked at her text messages, or done anything other than intended. Never even been tempted - because I respect her privacy. I don't think this is something where I need to change my own standards/principles to meet hers.
For someone who I otherwise have almost no privacy from, my phone is one of the few things I have left. I doubt I have anything compromising on there, but honestly, i don't know what might be. I'm in a group chat with a bunch of my close friends and pictures/messages are exchanged on there that probably would raise some questions. Nothing about her, nothing about other girls, just weird, guy, stuff. But I don't think this matters. I don't think I should have to explain myself nor should I feel obligated to give her access to my phone just like that. I think I am entitled to this amount of privacy, but she thinks it means I can't be trusted. Am I wrong? How do I handle this situation?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend thinks she should have unrestricted access to my phone and its contents. Am I wrong for believing I deserve my privacy? How can I get my perspective across without losing her trust? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (20 M) trying to deal with an understand her(17 F) saying she needs a break after finally meeting in LDR relationship
POST: First off, I know we are young, but please try to look past that?
We met in May 2012 online, and started talking every day. We became a couple in July 2012.
I fell for her hard and I know she loved me back. The only problem was I lived in Canada and she lived in Hawaii.
Well after years of talking about it and planning we decided I would come visit over Thanksgiving for a short visit to make sure we were a good couple, and then come back in May to stay longer if it all worked out.
So I left to go see her and we had an amazing trip. We are a perfect couple, it felt so natural and it was amazing to have her, and be loved and love her. Not to mention we lost our virginities to each other.
But I had to leave, and leaving was very hard. That was exactly a week ago. She took it even harder and said she couldn't even talk to me without crying.
She says she knows its not fair but she hates me for leaving, and shes not sure whats worse, not knowing what it was like to be with someone or knowing and having it ripped away.
She said she loves me less now, and its too hard and she needs a break. We've fought before but we've never gone days without talking which is what we are doing now.
To top it all off she met a guy online while I was on my flight to Hawaii and I know shes been talking to him a lot, and I'm scared she's just going to replace me with a new guy.
What do I do? Is the relationship as good as over or is she just dealing with a lot of things emotional and we can still be together?
TL;DR: | Dated 18 months online, finally met in person, was amazing, had to leave, now she doesn't want to talk to me |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, Whats in your bag?
POST: A couple years back, I was browsing lifehacker, and came upon a series of threads titled "Whats in your bag?" With picture upon picture, of everyones bags, it fascinated me endlessly. I found lots of cool organizers, trinkets, ect. It helped me develop my daily bag. I figure with school starting back up, and all you urban explorers, ect. it would be a great idea for everyone to share their bags so we can all get an idea of what everyone carries around, get new ideas for our own bags!
I did searching before putting this thread up, and every thread past was just people listing off their contents and it was a rather boring read. So the rule for this is, POST A PIC. NOT ONLY A DESCRIPTION. A description would be nice after the pic.
Anyways. On to my bag!
Ive had this bag for a couple years now, Trekked through multiple states, a dozen airports, and its never let me down, always comfortable, has a built in rain jacket to keep my gadgets from getting wet, even running through rush hour in NYC during the pouring rain! Its the [dA PRO Digital Artist Backpack] from Deviantart, its a reband of another popular bag, but I liked the looks of this one instead.
Heres what I usually have in my bag.
MacBook Pro 13inch, Mid 2012 model. (new addition)
Cleaning cloth
Power adapter
Razer Orochi bluetoth mouse
Razer Kabuto mousepad
Grid-It organizer for all the lose ends in my bag.
Samsung Captivate with 4.1 rom, best phone ive ever owned.
Moleskine planner and sketch pad.
Current reading material
Customary knife in almost everyones bag :P
iFrogz headphones from walmart, cheap pair that i can just throw in my bag.
1tb external 3.0 usb harddrive
I also have various other folders and notebooks, and school books, but you dont really care about those :P
TL;DR: | Post pictures of your bag and whats inside. Dont just detail a list, thats no fun. Everyone likes pictures! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear academic Redditors; I messed up my first swing at college, and want to give it another go. I have a couple questions and a request for advice.
POST: The back story: I graduated high school in 2005. I was always really into science and mathematics in high school, and was urged by my parents and counselors to pursue an engineering degree. I took their advice, and that fall I started classes at a small, nearby, well-respected engineering school. From the first week, I should have realized that the school I picked and the major I picked were completely wrong for me; I hated the campus, couldn't stand the courses, and had a very hard time getting to know anyone on campus. I started drinking a lot, and spent the vast majority of my time in my dorm room, skipping class and watching movies. I failed the majority of my classes my freshman year, but rather than taking a step back and changing schools, or majors, or taking some time off, I kept this up for another four semesters. I passed barely enough of my classes to avoid getting kicked out. I finally decided to just stop going after the Spring 2008 semester, and haven't gone back since. In the meantime, I've landed a job working retail, and I've kind of decided I don't want to do that for the rest of my life.
That being said, I've decided I want to go back to school. I want to major in something science-related; either biology or chemistry. My questions are these: Is it realistic to think I can go back and finish a degree? If so, how bad did I mess up my chances of getting into grad school afterwards, if I decide to do that? Am I less likely to find a job graduating at 27 instead of 22? If I start back at a community college, would it bode poorly for future job opportunities? How do I avoid getting into the same rut the way I did the first time? And my biggest concern; is it worth trying higher education again? Or should I come to terms with the fact that I'm a college dropout and try to figure something else out?
Sorry for the wall-o'-text.
TL;DR: | I screwed up college the first time I tried, it's been two years, and I want to go back and get a science degree. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Apartment broken into. Valuables taken. What to do next?
POST: Our apartment was 'broken into' yesterday while we were at work. Valuables amounting to thousands of dollars were taken - mostly cash in different currencies and the engagement ring that my boyfriend was going to give me.
We've called the police and cancelled credit cards that were left in the house. Because of lack of point of entry (we're basically snowed in, no broken windows and lack), police think it's an inside job. Our apartment did not look tampered with at all. The ring was in a box, which was in a bag, which was in a box, which was in a fedex envelope and only the ring is missing. We had to open up all the layers to find the ring missing. The police took the boxes, bags and envelopes to get fingerprints. The thief obviously spent a lot of time going through our stuff because things were placed back to where they approximately were, but not exactly. In fact, I only realized that things were not right because my makeup brushes were in the wrong order, and my boyfriend swears he did not touch anything. We then search for all our cash (hidden in various parts of the house) and they were all gone.
Meanwhile, we don't have renter's insurance and the ring was uninsured too (it's only been with us for less than two days.) What should we do next?
I feel violated and unsafe in my house, but feel the need to stay here in case they decide to return.
TL;DR: | The title. Police report made. Credit cards cancelled. Locks changed. Going to get renter's insurance. What next? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: A friend stored items in a shed on my property in April, agreed to collect things by May 1st...it's August.
POST: I'm in Tennessee.
A friend I made at work at the end of last year had to move out of her apartment quickly after a relationship turned bad with one of her roommates. I let her put some furniture and belongings in a shed at my house since the person that was supposed to be storing her stuff backed out on the day that we helped her move.
I talked to her during the move, and we agreed that she'd have her stuff out by May 1st. She even said "Yea of course, if it was any longer I'd look in to getting a storage shed."
I tried contacting her at the end of April by text/phone, and she didn't answer. I even saw on facebook she had gone on vacation out of the country. I didn't know she was on vacation since she's a contract employee, and they have very different seasons and schedules. I'd go weeks without seeing her, or she'd be at a different location.
I then sent her a message on facebook in July since I thought her phone might not be working in a different country. No response. Then got her email from one of the other contract workers. Again no response. I also recently saw on facebook again that she's in an entirely different part of country.
I'm wondering what I should/can do about the items she left in my shed?
Also, yes I realize I might have been too gullible. If that's the case then I'm taking this as a lesson learned that I can't say yes to everything, especially when it seems like someone might be taking advantage. I still need to get rid of her stuff though!
TL;DR: | I let a relatively new friend store stuff at my place, and she was supposed to come get it on May 1st. Now I can't contact her to come get it, or she's just not responding. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: On changing my [20F] last name to his [22M]. Did you regret your decision to take his name, or to keep your own?
POST: My boyfriend and I are both in our final year of undergrad, and have been together for 6 years (long distance during the school year for 3 years). We plan to be married sometime in the next two years, depending on the schedule and location of his graduate program.
He has always expected that I will take his last name, and he will not compromise on changing (e.g. hyphenating) his own or his children's last names. I don't particularly like my own last name, so no sentimental problems there. My ideal would be for us both to change our last name to something new, but he's not on board. (He compromises all the time on many other issues, but he's picked this battle as one worth fighting.)
I have no problem with our children carrying his name.
I myself don't want to take his last name, but my reasons are fairly petty. He's told me it's not a deal breaker if I don't take his name, but it would make him really sad. I'm planning to take his name to make him happy, but wondering if anyone has insight from their own experience? Did you regret taking or keeping a name?
My (admittedly weak) reasons for not taking his name are:
* I will have at least four scientific publications under my current name by the time we are married.
* I dislike his father, and it bothers me a bit to take his father's name.
* His mother and sister and I all have the same first name. If I take his last name, we will all have identical names. Again, I'm just not a big fan of his family, and it irks me that we will have identical names.
* My name will be alliterative.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend would be much happier if I take his name, but I'm not so sure I'd be happy. Did you regret your decision to take a partner's name? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Why am I (33m) being such a teenage girl?
POST: I met this absolutely wonderful girl a 2 months back on a skiing trip with some friends. We immideately hit it off, but nothing physical happened. A few weeks go by, and her friend contacts me, gets me into trying snapchat (i know right? Im bloody 33), and soon thereafter this girl adds me. We go back a forth with this for a few weeks, with the snaps getting more and more flirty.
a week ago, I send her a snap of me while im doing a cross country excercise trip. She proceeds to ask me out to ski with her the next day. So we go, and basically only ski for an hour, spending the next 2 in a lodge, in front of the fire, drinking coffee and chatting. She really opens up, as do I, to an extent I've almost never done before.
For the next few days, we text quite a lot, and everything is going swimmingly. She invites me home a normal tuesday, but its only a few hours since she's going out to practice (she plays football a lot).
The last few days however, she is taking several hours to answer my texts. She is still very attentive, and responds with the full 160 characters everytime, texts riddled with winky faces, asking me questions, so its not like she's trying to get rid of me, or at least so it seems, but I'm finding myself overanalyzing every little thing. Why isnt she responding. Is it work? Is she not bothering? etc etc
Am I right to be a bit worried? I know she is working quite a lot this week, but I thought girls were permanently attached to their mobiles these days.
Will you girls stop initiating contact if you're interested? Im pretty sure this girl hasnt had a relationship in a while, and might be a bit insecure.
TL;DR: | Great chemistry with this girl, but all of a sudden she delays a lot in responding to messages. Like several hours. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Am I the only one that thinks 'strategically defaulting' on your mortgage is a load of horseshit?
POST: So, more and more I am hearing about people 'strategically defaulting' on their home mortgages.
The way I see it (and correct me if I am wrong on this) is that homeowners are fed up with the way banks and the federal government have handled the recent financial meltdown on Wall St. They are sick of owing $800,000 on a house that is only worth $300,000.
What is think, is tough fucking cookies. That is the price you agreed to when you bought the home, you signed a contract. You wouldn't expect the bank to raise your mortgage when the value of your home goes up, why should they lower your payment when value is lost?
Look, I understand that there are special circumstances. People are losing their jobs and they need to refinance. OK fine. I think the banks should work with these people WITHIN REASON, afterall, keeping people in their homes benefits the bank more than foreclosure, where the home will sit on the market for at least year before any one purchases the foreclosed home and any payments are made. At the same time, I think homeowners expecting the bank to knock off 60% of the purchase price that they buyer agreed to is ridiculous.
So, serious question for you reddit. What am I missing here?
And don't give me the old "Well, the banks created this mess, not us." Homeowners were driving the prices up by agreeing to purchase homes at the inflated prices. Guess what, thats economics 101. If something isn't worth $800,000, don't pay $800,000 for it. Eventually the market will collapse on itself and prices will drop.
TL;DR: | My neighbors dog shit in my yard, and then my kid stepped in it with bare feet. She now has a weird looking growth on that foot. Doctor doesn't know what it is. What should I do????? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 23M needs some beginner's help.
POST: So some background (throwaway here), like my username suggests, I have no relationship experience. I've had my fair shares of rejections, so that kind of stopped me from asking just any girls I found to my liking to hangout, date, etc.
So let's go to my current situation. I knew this girl from one of my classes during the spring semester. She sat next to me and basically that was it, no talking, nothing. However, we both began to open up quite late during the semester and I got her number by finals week, hoping to study with her and maybe hangout with her. I later find out our schedules didn't match, and nothing really happened.
I chose to kept in contact during the summer (currently) by asking how she did in the class and it kinda snowballed into a series of questions asked by me which she would reply. However, her replies would tend to be during nighttime (around 9-10) a good few hours after my initial text. The good thing if I kept texting, she would keep replying until she fell asleep (around 12 I think) and respond back in the morning. The process would start over. This happened for a few days now and this is where my question comes in.
I want to ask her to hang out, maybe even a date, but I'm unsure if I want to do it over a text. She lives roughly 1.5 hours away from me if that's any help. I'll respond to any other questions you might have for me in the thread. Thanks.
TL;DR: | No experience, got to know a girl through texting, trying to find a way to ask her on a date/hangout. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Fiancé is insisting on a Game of Thrones themed wedding and I want something more traditional. Fighting is erupting.
POST: My fiancé of three months is being a nightmare about wedding planning. We're east coast based.
He's a huge Game of Thrones fan...which is fine. I like the show but I'm not obsessed. He's done the following things:
*showed me pictures of Ciara's wedding dress and said I should
wear the same thing because of how it looks like something that would be in a modern game of thrones wedding.
* wants to call our reception a "feast"
* wants me to wear my hair similarly to the main villainess on the wedding day
*wants a cloaking ceremony during our wedding ceremony
*wants us to rent a mansion that looks like a castle that we can't afford for the day of.
I want a traditional ceremony and reception. The looks he's showing me are not what I want to wear or look like on my wedding day. When I tell him that he sulks and pouts and accuses me of not taking what he wants into account. Call me crazy, but I'm not sure how I can work a cloaking ceremony into a Catholic wedding service. He insists we should ask the priest anyway.
We work at a very large company. We are planning to invite some of our peers, some of whom are upper management. I really don't want to feel embarrassed on my wedding day. Is there a way to compromise?
TL;DR: | Fiancé wants a game of thrones wedding, I do not. How to compromise without looking like complete dorks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Was my comment sexist?
POST: Hi everyone.
I just wanted some perspective on my behavior to understand whether or not, from your perspectives, I was being sexist. It may seem minor to some however I think that it is important for a number of underlying reasons. I'm not looking for validation or anything, just clarification so as to be more mindful in the future.
Basically, a girl on facebook posted a picture of herself driving, well to be more accurate, of her parked in her car in a parking lot looking a little hysterical or excited and leaning in close to her wheel. It was a funny picture.
The comments from others were typical, either praising her or joking around. I made a joke asking who she hit this time? She posted a comment saying that sexist jokes would not be tolerated. I was at first quite baffled at her response and unsure if it was directed at me or not, so at least in my mind it was unexpected. I'm not sure of the sexist connotation so I asked for clarification and explained the basis of my joke (based on the above description of her picture).
Someone else made a joke about her to slow down and she joked about being a speedster, so perhaps in my mind she was ok with these sorts of jokes?
I've never made a sexist joke in my life and do find all sorts of sexism distasteful, and I do try to be sensitive around that topic, hence the main purpose of this post. My intention behind the joke was innocent, it was not directed at women in general or based on any sort of mysogynistic impulses, it was just a light-hearted reaction to her picture.
At the same time though, she did interpret it that way so I don't want to invalidate her perspective or anything. I do understand that it's her wall and she can disallow anything she wants and that's fine. However, if one gets accused of sexism when it was not ones intention to be sexist, I would think that one would be allowed the space to clarify themselves. Is that reasonable?
Anyways, she blocked/deleted me after I asked for clarification, so I was wondering if my joke and my reaction were uncalled for and deserving of censure.
Thanks,
TL;DR: | Made a joke on a girls picture (of her in her car) asking who she hit this time. Called out for making a sexist joke. Wanting perspective. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Entrepreneurs of Reddit: How do you deal with the struggle of getting more customers?
POST: I'm not looking for advice or tactics and tips. There's plenty of that online and plenty of my friends telling me what to do. Sometimes, it just doesn't work, no matter how awesome your advice is. Getting customers is hard.
Do you or have you struggled with this? Join me as I wallow in my self pity so I don't feel alone. Share your pain. I'll start :)
I started my own online business with much hoopla and announced it to everyone. Big mistake. Now that I'm struggling to get customers, everyone is coming out of the woodwork to tell me what to do and telling me not to quit. Ironically, their support now makes me feel like more of a failure. If I stop now, it's like I'm letting everyone down. If I don't, I may just be digging a deeper hole. I feel like I've tried everything, I invested my time and money, but it's just not working out. None of my friends are entrepreneurial and I'm tired of getting advice. I thought there would be redditors that could relate and we could share our struggles.
TL;DR: | Instead of asking for advice on how to get customers (there's plenty of that elsewhere), join this thread to complain about how difficult it is to find customers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being paranoid
POST: I live in a country where a lot of crimes (theft, mostly) happen in public transportation. Being the paranoid that I am, I not only carry a swiss knife in my bag, but I also enrolled myself in basic self-defense classes, and carried the strongest pepper-spray sold in town. I am female.
I do not usually take the bus, but the time this fuck-up happened, riding the bus seemed more convenient (as the train broke down that day).I got into a seat, and the bus was almost full in a couple of minutes.
Now, an unusually tall, dark man decided to sit beside me. He was getting all fidgety and I could see he was trying to reach for something in his large duffel bag. The paranoid in me started thinking, "he's reaching for his knife, or his gun, or something to strangle me with..." It didn't help that he kept looking at me from time to time which made me intensely uncomfortable.
He then seemed to have found that thing he was looking for earlier. He looked at me intently, from top to bottom. My heart was beating really fast by this time, and I already have my pepper spray in hand, ready to fire. The man started to whisper, "Miss..."
I FIRED THE GODDAMN PEPPER-SPRAY AND STOOD UP AND PANICKED AND ASKED THE BUS DRIVER TO LET ME GO DOWN AS I WAS BEING ROBBED.
This time, I was almost near the bus the door when I decided to look back on the creepy man trying to abduct me.
He was holding a bible and some pamphlets and was desperately crying for help.
I facepalm-ed my way out of the bus.
TL;DR: | Rode a bus, being extremely paranoid, pepper-sprayed a pastor (whom I mistook for a mugger). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (23f) newly ex boyfriend (23m) is coming home drunk.... a lot. Need advice ASAP, he's at the bar now.
POST: Recently broke up with my emotionally abusive boyfriend of 1.5 years. We live together in an apartment and neither of us can move until one of us can save money to get into a new place. It was a mutual decision (aka blowout fight) to end things, but we're coping in very different ways. It's been about a week since the final breakup.
He's been out until extremely late for the past 4 nights and I only recently realized that he's been at the bar getting drunk. He made a comment about not knowing how some girls numbers got into his phone, to give you an idea how drunk he is. I confronted him and asked him to please not bring anyone home because I couldn't handle it and to please call me if he needed a ride. He responded by getting defensive and saying that I was the "last fucking person he would call". I'm afraid that he's masking his emotions with anger and alcohol, possibly wanting something bad to happen from his drinking and driving. He's got a history of depression, signs of bipolar disorder, and extreme anger issues. He doesn't know how to cope with anything.
I'm literally the only one in a 100 mile radius that he COULD call if he needed a DD, and he's too stubborn to call me. How can I make sure he doesn't kill himself/ someone else by being an idiot and driving home drunk from the bar every night?
TL;DR: | My ex is coping with the breakup by drinking at the bar every night for the past week, drives himself home. I'm the only option for him to have a DD but he won't call me. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Advice on when to reach out again to the hiring manager for possible position.
POST: Hey guys,
I work in the media industry and my current title is a production assistant for a sports station. Even thought I'm 24 I've had some great experiences in my past and have been able to make a lot of connections to land me where I am today. However my passion lies in late night TV.
My question is this. After months of networking I've been able to finally get an email to the hiring manager at a show I've always wanted to work at because one of my former colleagues worked for them in the past.
I finally reached out to the hiring manager last week with my resume, cover letter & the man who referred me asking for any type of entry level job (production assistant) & even an internship if that was their only opening. A week past and he just sent me an email today, responding:
"Thank you for your email and interest in ----. Unfortunately, we have no positions available for someone with your qualifications. Feel free to touch base on occasion to inquire further.
All the best,
------
What you guys recommend I do next? When do I follow up? Also, do you think he's saying I'm over qualified for an internship?
Thanks!
TL;DR: | contacted hiring manager, got a no position available now response, trying to figure out the rule of thumb of when to reach out again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my [24 F] of 5 months, frequently orgasms a few times, and quits before I can as well
POST: Good evening folks, hoping I can gain some perspective here.
I'm having a problem in my relationship related to sex. We started out friends with benefits for a couple of months, and took it up to the next level recently. It's been going great.
Except well, our sexual compatibility is such that after having sex for 10-15 minutes, she's worn out and on the verge of sleep. I'd say 50 percent of the time, I don't finish before this occurs. I've suggested oral to finish me off, but she says she hates it and thinks its gross, and it'd be too much effort in her depleted state. The first time or two this happened, I was half and half, pat on the back/frustration (how am I going to sleep? Just ended up wanking in the bathroom)
On the flip side, I love giving oral, indeed, the one time I convinced her to try 69, she said I was way harder than any time she had given me head, which had happened 3 times, in the early stages.
I'm not worried that its an excuse the task of sex is onerous, because she initiates frequently and when the thought occurred to me, I looked up signs of orgasm and she exhibits them, sweating, flushed, vaginal contractions, thigh twitching, increased wetness..
I'm at a loss, when I try to keep going she says shes too worn out, even hurts sometimes, and I certainly don't want to push past that. And if she's about to fall asleep/hates giving oral, I don't want to press her into something she doesn't want to do.. But I have no clue what to do. I've brought it up, but shes in the same boat and is at a loss also.
TL;DR: | SO orgasms a few times and tires out too quickly for me to finish during sex, leaving me to finish alone in the bathroom. What to do?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [31F] roommate of 1 year [26M] wants to throw a big party even though I work that weekend
POST: Basically what the title says. I work the occasional weekend, and my roommate has announced he's throwing a party in 2 weeks (on a weekend I work) because that's when the most people can attend his party.
I told him I work that day and I cannot ask for it off because my roommate is having a party. He stated that he's not cancelling his party so I have to deal with it. I told him that I'm not happy about this and that he could have picked a weekend I didn't work.
He's telling me I'm being ridiculous and that his party will be over by 2 am and that I'll be fine on 4 or 5 hours of sleep. It's obvious that we are not meant to be roommates so I'm looking into finding a new place to live, but that won't happen before his party (have to give notice, etc etc). How can I convey to this guy that I'm not okay with him having this party?
TL;DR: | roommate says he's having a party in 2 weeks, I have to work and I'm not okay with it. He doesn't care and says he's having it anyway. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Fighting in marriage
POST: Hi /r/relationships, created this throw away because I don't want personal friends to know about my marital issues. My wife is 24 and I am 26. Been married for 3 years, together for 6.
My wife is a wonderful woman who is creative, funny and absolute pleasure to be around and have been married for nearly 3 years. We have had a few fights throughout the 3 years on a range of topics. The most common is a lack of ambition. An event occurred that is not easily solved because of letting it to on for so long. So our normal routine happened, I get upset, she apologizes profusely, and I don't respond because I don't want to say anything I don't mean. I always let something stew for a little and think about what I want to say carefully. I had to think long and hard about it, and let myself calm down. I was irritated with her, and the situation that we were both in. I fell asleep and then got up for work.
I was headed out and she was still awake playing on her computer. I didn't know what to say, but just wanted to leave for the day. This is where she just broke down and told me she was sorry for who she was, and the problem she caused me. I have never felt lower then I do today reddit. I know I need to change how i deal with situations like this, and looking for guidance. After she told me this sobbing, I called into work and took a personal day to discuss this with her. We took a few hours to talk about how we felt and what we could do to solve it all.
She is feeling better, but know there is something personal I need to work on with communication and how to handle situation when not ideal. Is this common? Do we sometimes hurt the ones we love this bad? /r/relationships husbands, what do you do when getting upset about a situation? Is there anything I can do differently to never put my SO through this? Or is this just an expected result? I know our marriage prep said we would we fight, and get upset, but seeing her crying like that and apologizing for who she was really really hurt me.
TL;DR: | Had a bad fight, think its mostly my fault, need to know how to handle these situations better without taking to long to think about what to say. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(18/m) girlfriend (17/f) of 1 year doesn't seem to appreciate what I go though for her. What can I do?
POST: For the last year+ I've been bending over backwards to Help her, if something goes wrong I'm there she needs to. Talk I'm there 24/7 I do My best to be second asleep all the time in case something happens and she needs my help.
I went and got a job to go do things with her this summer even though I had a lot on my plate with school already. She's always calling off plans I make like going on dates and family outings I'm always paying for everything, buying her stuff, and I get nothing in return. I'm not looking for sex, but for her to possibly do the same I'm yet to see her even try.
I'm recently not liking this anymore as I'm going and clearing out my nights plans to Skype her and then she's to run off and do something 5 minutes I not the call. I've a feeling she doesn't care but I'm unsure as I may have 'love' goggles still.
Sentences such as 'I love you' and 'I care about you' means nothing to me any more because I feel there's no action behind them and they are meaningless.
How would I go about dealing with such a matter? And how would I ask for her words to be met with actions?
It's not so Much the talking to her but the phrasing off it all.
TL;DR: | I do a lot for her and feel as I'd she doesn't care anymore. Not looking to break up but just how to work it out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27 F] husband [30 M] of six months is driving me crazy
POST: No one thing jumps out, so I'm going to list a few.
- If he doesn't want to have sex, he thinks it's perfectly normal and I should respect that and never question it, even if it goes on for weeks at a time. If I don't want to have sex (like it's midnight and he wakes me up and I just want to sleep because I have to work in the morning - and I asked him at 10:00pm if he wanted to have sex and he said no), I am a horrible person for not satisfying his needs, and he responds by refusing to speak to me. (This is new and was not present when we dated for nearly 2 years).
- My money is "our" money, his money is "his" money. Lately he can't seem to hold down a job for very long, leaving me to pay bills. I'm broke and paycheck-to-paycheck now. Yet if he gets money, he immediately spends it. When I ask him to contribute, he says he will ... in a few weeks. When I ask for his work schedule, he's evasive.
- He will randomly leave in the middle of the night (like 1 a.m.) and think I don't notice, then give a really odd excuse. He's accused me of cheating, and said he "wouldn't be surprised if I had." Once he looked through my phone, but there's nothing there but my texts to him.
- He says I visit my family too much. (Twice a week.)
- He's been very sarcastic, and likes to egg me on, or tell me something and later say "I never said that!" I try to calmly tell him he's upsetting me, and he just ridicules me. I suggested couples therapy, he'll alternately refuse or tell me to go by myself.
I used to love his company, but he's become so rude to me, I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Husband is basically beating me down on a lot of fronts - emotionally, financially, etc. How do I deal with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: How much info should be in a LinkedIn profile?
POST: I recently started attempting to tailor my resume to the specific jobs I am applying to, but it's raised a question for me. If I have jobs that are listed on my LinkedIn profile but not my resume for a particular application, or if I have details of job responsibilities that are on my resume but not LinkedIn or vice-versa, how does that look to employers?
Since there's a limited amount of real estate on a resume, I only put responsibilities & jobs that I think are directly relevant to and/or strengthen my application, and I often rephrase descriptions to emphasize the most relevant details. But I'm concerned that this will look inconsistent with my LinkedIn profile, which I can't possibly keep tailored to each job I apply to as I may have several active applications at a time.
Would it make more sense to just list the company, job title, and duration on Linked in, and save details for the resume? I feel like that also leaves an opportunity on the table but I don't know how to balance these issues.
ETA:
TL;DR: | how much detail should be in a LinkedIn job description? How do I keep my LinkedIn profile consistent with my resume when I am applying to multiple positions at a time, which may not require the same experience? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: This girl I'm seeing [23 F] just got out of a four year relationship and told me [27 M] she didn't want to jump into a relationship with me. Does that mean she's down to hook up with other guys?
POST: We started talking less than a month ago and this week we started sleeping with each other. I feel like a couple when we're together but she always telling me it will take a long time for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Tonight she went to the club without me so I asked her what was going on between us. She didn't give me a straight answer just that she didn't want to be burdened by a relationship and that we should work on our friendship first. That all sounds good except it could also mean she wants to be with other men too. Her drunk friend told me she has a different boyfriend every month and she has an account on wealthymen.com :(
I lost my virginity to this girl. I've never even kissed anyone else.
TL;DR: | I don't know whether this girl I'm seeing is flaky or not but there are a lot of warning signs. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my [31 M] very confused and not sure how to approach "the talk" really needing advice.
POST: The history with my guy is an interesting one, but I'll keep it short.
We met at the gym around June, we were both busy so we didn't get to hang out a lot. Well, we eventually made time, more time, and then more time. I was quickly falling for this guy. I wasn't out yet, but he was. He still had internalized homophobia and that would weigh heavy on us plus me being a secret.
Well this past September rolls around and he out of the blue he calls it quits. He says that "I can do better than him, he's not ready, he hates being gay." I was crushed. For about 2 months I was very depressed. We kept in contact randomly, but never hung out....until one day he hits me up to hang out. I was nervous but it was for a charity he was heading up.
After that point we slowly started to hang out more....this past month everything feels back to the way it was. But my feelings for him keep growing.....I'm falling in love I think. Here's where I need help:
He has the possibility of moving away and I'm crushed. It's not set in stone but he tells me it's a 90% sure thing, but there's lots of red tape to be crossed first. Well, I've been crushed...again. I'm depressed, anxious, crying....I know dumb right?
Do I have to have the "talk" with him? I'm so fearful that it will ruin everything. A little about him: he's a great guy, but when it comes to emotions it's hard for him....he's ex special forces and is all around bad ass....but that comes at an emotional price. He wants to be "normal" and he's getting way better. Just the other night he called me his boyfriend to our server....in a joking manner, but that means something right?
I need to know how to approach the situation. I've had these talk before but I've never had them with someone I'm falling for. So I'm freaking out.
TL;DR: | First gay relationship, he might be moving away, not sure how to approach having "the talk" about us, think I'm falling in love first the first time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by unintentionally stealing my Christmas present
POST: Now, this happened around 6 years ago. I was at that age where I was a goody two shoes. Like if my mom told me to eat a dick I would eat a dick.
So anyways, it was almost Christmas time. My sister went out to buy some presents and I went to go draw shit on the wall. She came back with Christmasy bags with my present in one of them. She put the presents on the table and went to go eat dinner. I was super excited and took a quick glance at the bag, wondering what it was. When I came to eat dinner shortly after, she asked me to guess what it was. Now being a huge rubix cube nerd, I guessed the rubix cube. My sister then frowned and asked why did I look inside the bag. I said I didn't but she wouldn't believe me. This made me furious and upset that my sister didn't trust me.
Here is where the Fuck Up starts. I finished eating dinner super fast and I stole the present for "revenge". I took the Rubix Cube out of the bag and hid it next to my bed. Now me being young and not having brain cells yet, I took the bag too, leaving plainly visible on my table. So when she came back up the stairs, she sees one of the bags on the table missing and a bag in my room she knew. She came to my room upset and yelled at me, asking why did I peek and lie and saying that she trusted me. So, as a kid, I was confused and didn't know why I was being yelled at because I knew I told the truth and then it hit me. I'm a dumbass.
TL;DR: | Sister got presents, guessed what my present was, sister thought I peeked at what my present was, got mad, stole present, and got rekt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend (20f) just told me (20m) we need a break right before our 3 year anniversary, and I'm terrified.
POST: So long story short, I thought she was the one. We bonded very quickly when we first met, and had almost no problems besides the occasional little argument, which we got over and changed pretty quickly. I deeply love her, but last night she drops this on me. She says that she loves me and can't see life without me, but then says we need a break for reasons she can't understand. Do breaks work? Is this just code for something?
I don't want to lose her in the slightest, but it looks like she has other plans. I care about her happiness. If a breakup is what she wants I'd rather know that now and move on in life. I want advice on how to understand what she's feeling, and how to prove that we should stay together. I never felt love like this before and I'm truly scared of this break leading to worse things.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend says she still loves me, and for reasons she can't understand feels the need to be separate. Want to understand and be supportive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Im in college and my [21F] Mother [45F] steals money from me and guilts me for it
POST: So I am in my final semester of college. I graduate in May. My mother has access to my bank account but it was only supposed to be for her to pay my rent. I work part time as a server and I am also taking 16 credit hours so I can graduate.
Recently, my mother has been taking sums of money from my account and putting it in hers without telling me. I will go to check my account balance and see that the money is missing. My family has always lived paycheck to paycheck, but I am trying to stray away from that.
I try to save my money for my future but everytime I get a decent amount in my savings she will take it. She also makes me feel guilty for doing so. She will say things like, "Well, I guess I won't eat lunch today."
My rent is $579 a month and due on the 1st. Aside from her taking money, she has been paying my rent on the 14th of every month almost to the point where I'm getting evicted. I have to remind her every time. I don't know what to do. Its really frustraring to me because I feel like I never have any money because she takes it. I shouldn't be suffering because she doesn't kbow how to budget her money. Help!
TL;DR: | Mother promises to pay my rent, but always pays it late to the point of eviction. She also takes money whenever she pleases from my account. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] having a hard time when it comes to meeting guys and talking to them.
POST: Hey, everyone!
I'm REALLY insecure. I've never ever had a boyfriend before, boys have approached me in the past, and I simply push them off, due to my insecurity.
A new year started, and I've been feeling better lately, I think my self-confidence is starting to grow a bit, and that seems nice.
There are a couple of guys I'm interested in, yet I don't know how to approach them. I'm usually quite panicky, and when a guy approaches me I literally being to shake, and it's embarassing.
I would to like to approach guys in an easy way, and kinda friendly, without my face, moves, and body screaming "HEY BOY I WANT YOUR D".
A few days ago a guy asked for my number, in a friendly way -I suppose- and ohshit, I had to breath deeply in order to be able to keep my cool.
TL;DR: | How do you approach a guy you're interested in, without coming off as creepy, or weird? And as an anxious/insecure person what do you do when you're interested in someone?. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Wondering if it would be ok for me(m34) to get a mother's day gift for a friend (f27) who was once a girlfriend.
POST: I have a friend that has a 2 year old. I dated this friend for a short time and still care very much for her but ended the relationship because of outside issues. I have since been in a new relationship with someone else. I know that the friend would like to get back together with me if things don't work out in my new relationship. I don't want to send my friend/ex-girlfriend the wrong message, but I keep thinking about getting her a mother's day gift. I know that the father of the child isn't in the picture, and there really isn't anyone to celebrate her as a mother. I think she is a wonderful mother and would like to do something for her but don't want to give her the wrong impression.
She and her daughter are coming over tomorrow and I thought I would get her something that I could have her daughter give her. I don't want to be cheap about it with just a card and some junky little thing but also can't go buying her something really expensive.
So I'm asking,
1. Should I get her something? and
2. If so, any suggestions on what would be okay to give?
TL;DR: | Thinking of getting a friend who is a single mother and ex-girlfriend, a mother's day gift. (I'm not the father) Should I? and if so, any suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is he genuinely busy or is something else going on?
POST: Hi reddit. This one will take a little bit of background (first post on /r/relationships but I'll do my best).
I met this guy just over a month ago. I'm female, 17 and he's male, French, 27. The age gap came as a surprise to both of us, as he though me older and I thought him younger. We're both okay with it.
He approached me out of the blue in a coffee shop at the mall where I was before work and asked to sit with me. He started asking lots of questions and was very friendly and approachable. I agreed to meet him after my shift for another coffee, he was easy to get on with and seemed interested.
Since that point we met for coffee a lot and even went out in the evening a couple of times together. He's been texting me, everything seemed positive but then he got very busy with work.
While I've made an effort to make other plans, he continues to be very busy and I've only seen him once in the past few weeks. He tells me that he does really want to spend time with me; at one point I did ask him if I had the wrong idea about the two of us and he insisted he was just busy, not that he'd lost interest. Still, he won't make solid plans with me.
I guess what I'm asking is whether you guys think it's worth putting effort into. I feel that even if he *was* just looking for sex (16 is the age of consent where I live), that he'd be making some more effort. I've been trying to make plans, and I'm genuinely interested in this guy. And from everything he's said, he still fancies me!
Is there anything I can do to make it work, or should I just leave it for him to chase me for a while? Should I do anything differently? Help!
TL;DR: | 10 year age gap, we're both really into each other, but he's keeps saying he's busy and won't make plans with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my SO [22 M] 2 years, was raped a year ago and told him last week- struggling to enjoy sex now [Xpost from r/sex]
POST: I posted this in r/sex earlier but didn't get much response so thought I would try here.
Like I said in the title, I was raped a year ago. I don't feel it is necessary to go into full detail here. I had been with my boyfriend a year at the time. I didn't tell him as I wanted to try to forget about it and carry on with my life. I didn't see him for about a week after it happened, and our sex life continued as normal when we did. I have thought about it this year but never really felt had deeply traumatized me and affected me as much as it does with some other people.
Recently we were having a heart to heart about our relationship and I broke down and told him about it. He was devastated, and upset I hadn't told him. He has been great about it though and really supportive.
However, the few times we've had sex since I told him, I've been running into some problems. I have difficulty getting wet and turned on during foreplay, which has never been even the slightest of an issue before. Also, he's tried going on top a couple of times, but the feeling of his weight on me, with his hands on my shoulders, makes me feel so trapped and helpless, and I have to stop sex so I can go on top. I used to love it when he was dominant in bed, but now I hate it when he guides my hips when I'm on top.
TL;DR: | Was raped a year ago, told my boyfriend last week and don't enjoy sex as much now. What can I do to get past this and enjoy having sex with him again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] was just told by the girl [18 F] I've been seeing for a few weeks that she's demiromantic
POST: I'm in college, and this was the first time a relationship seemed like it could actually get anywhere. My cousin and her friend had been trying to set us up all summer, we went on a date and I thought at the time it went pretty well. However, recently she stopped responding to texts, I sent her a message telling her I wanted something real between us, and she told me that she is demiromantic.
This would not have been a big deal to me if something extremely similar had not happened a year ago when my date was asexual. In neither case did they tell me that they weren't interested until I had already invested a lot of my time and being into a relationship with them.
This is still my first experience with demiromanticism though, so what should I do? Should I even try to form that emotional bond that would be necessary for a relationship to exist?
TL;DR: | Went on a date with a girl I really like, and she's demiromantic. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with [21 F] girl says she cannot have a relationship because we belong to different religions
POST: I have been into this girl for a very long time and she has been in to me. I felt as though I was getting all the right signals when I told her my feelings for her. But she said no. I was heartbroken for a while. Said some stupid dumb things to her on more then one occasion (like r/cringepics material) but she would always forgive, I know I'm a terrible person. This repeated itself about 5 times, yes I'm an idiot. I got over it, but not really.
But then I got curious again, I asked a mutual friend and told her about my stupid shenanigans and how she would forgive me every time. And she says she likes you. I said you're mistaken she already rejected me. But she urged me to at least ask her why she did. So I though whats the harm lets see what happens. So I talked to her for a good 2 hours and she finally tells me that it is because I am a Muslim and she is a Hindu, and her parents would never accept it. And that if that was not a problem we would be in a relationship. And I lied I was never really over her.
So I have absolutely no Idea how to proceed. I want this relationship to happen but have no idea what to do. I want to somehow convince her that it'll be fine and we'll convince her parents after that but have no idea how to go about that. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Girl says we can't have relationship because we belong to different religions and her parents would object. How do I make this work? And what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: reddit! am I being stupid about this or would you guys feels the same?
POST: I'll keep it short :3
I'm 18, he's 18. Dating for 3 years.
When we walk together anywhere, like, say the mall or an amusement park or whatever he is always walking ahead of me. Like, legit ahead of me so that I'm walking completely by myself. Doesn't matter if we're by ourselves or with friends he does this. It kind of bugs me!
When I tell him that it bugs me he gets really upset at me for "making problems over small things". He tells me that he just walks fast. Well, I don't walk particularly slow.. but I can't really walk his pace so he just kind of leaves me behind. He doesn't see any reason why this would upset any girl. We won't compromise and walk my pace because apparently it's painful.
Am I crazy reddit?!
For the extra lazy
TL;DR: | My boyfriend walks way faster than me and always leaves me behind. It upsets me and he doesn't see why and also doesn't want to compromise and walk my pace. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: ex-gf's roommate situation
POST: I am very good friends with an ex-girlfriend of mine. We dated for just under a year several years ago. In the time since we have hooked-up a few times but never on a consistent basis and never with any hint of reigniting an actual relationship status.
Recently I have become enamored with her friend and .... roommate. This crush is mutual. I know because we have acted upon it; in secret and with no trace of detection. She has even stayed over at my place a couple times. We like each other and really want to be able to date each other to see what could happen.
Our plan was for me to approach the ex and plant a seed that I was interested in the roommate and was considering asking her out but that I wanted to check with her (the ex) first. It didn't go well. At all. She was very upset and basically said it was off the table. The ex cited disrespect and tastelessness.
Now I am a combination of sad and resentful. I was/am super enthused about meeting a girl that I really felt excited about getting to know better! And considering the feelings are mutual - it doubly stings. But since our courtship has been deemed forbidden I am angry with the ex and don't want to really see her at all currently. And the roommate and I don't know what to do but are not willing to carry on a secret relationship as it is way too risky and just plain wrong. We don't want to be liars and the only reason we ever did was to protect feelings. Now we are in a real bind and I don't want to risk not exploring the possibilities of getting to know her.
I should also mention that the roommate has made no admission of feelings towards me to the ex; as far as I know.
I understand what I want is a bit of a dick-ish thing to do and normally I wouldn't be so reckless with a valued friendship but I really have a good feeling about the potential relationship with the roommate. With her I feel things I have rarely felt in life. It feels very natural.
TL;DR: | Want to date a good friend/ex-gf's roommate. Ex will not allow. But I am really interested in the roommate and don't want to relent. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Too smart to commit, too stupid to leave
POST: I like this girl I'm with a lot. She's abrasive and incredibly strong willed, but I kinda like that. She's also emotionally scarred which is my weakness.
She seems to keep me at arms length, but at the same time seems to always have me in mind.
Right now we got in a fight over something stupid, and she wants to be alone. So I refused to leave her and am trying to sleep on the couch.
I don't think she respects me, and I think this is making it worse. I think I'm compromising myself in the hopes that she will show some affection. I also think I may just not understand her type if affection. I don't know. Wishful thinking I think. But maybe I can live with it?
I think she makes me a better person, in all honesty, except maybe in how I am with her. Maybe I actually just like the abuse.
I'm pretty sure that despite going apartment shopping together, she's going to end it with me at any minute.
TL;DR: | i won't tell her that I love her, but I don't want to let her go. She actually makes me happy. I think I might actually be falling for her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [18 F] of only one month spontaneously broke up with me [18 M] last night. Don't know what to do :/
POST: She came to my dorm last night and said that she just wasn't feeling it emotionally anymore. She had just broken up with a previous boyfriend in August and said she felt we rushed into this relationship and needed time for herself. But this was still so sudden and I felt things were going very well and needless to say I was shocked.
I can understand where she's coming from but it still hurts as she was my first real girlfriend and i really do care about her. She said she would still like to be friends but I don't think I can handle being only friends as of right now. I still want to try and make this work.
Any suggestions on what I should/could do about my situation?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up with me suddenly saying we went too fast. Am now lost and don't know what to do. :/ |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How bad really is the recession and unemployment in America?
POST: As someone who has never been to America, or outside of my own country, I am confused at the situation in America currently. I hear stuff about it's a great place to live, and I also hear stuff about how unemployment rates are at an all time high and it's hard to live comfortably over there.
Are jobs really hard to find? Or are the people complaining about this just not intelligent/experienced enough for a job? Are jobs stable?
What is the average cost per living and average wage for a citizen?
Another question, if someone were to move to America, would it be worth it to go through all the residential processes and for what gain?
TL;DR: | just need a non-bias view on America's current economical situation (job stability and cost of living), as I have heard mixed contradictory views. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Been dating a girl for almost two years but may be finding something special with someone else?
POST: Ok so i am a male 18 and she is a female 18. We have been dating for almost 2 years and things have been ok for the most part. There have been times where i have wanted to be out of the relationship so bad but never did anything because of the fact that i didn't want to deal with the hurt afterwards and also because of the fact that i loved it. I am happy that i am with her now but something has really come up. i met this girl a few months ago through another friend at a football game and almost immediately we hit it off. She was very cool and i felt sort of attracted to her. Im not the kind of guy that would ever cheat so thats not an issue here. This girl really gets me and just cares about all the little things in life and just i feel has been filling a hole that i have had for a while now. I text her everyday and i most definitely have the self control to make sure all the texts stay friendly but i am starting to feel guilty for all this talking behind my gfs back. My relationship now is based off what she thinks is right and wrong and will pretty much force me to do what is suitable for her or shell argue with me and make me miserable till i do. Examples: she wont let me smoke cigars occasionally and says she would break up with me if i smoked weed? Just some background info. I have always been afraid to break up with girls because i HATE the bad feelings after but also i do have feelings for my gf but i cant tell if i need something more. Sorry to sound selfish here. Its hard summing this all up through text especially because i am no writer.
TL;DR: | Love gf of two years, met someone amazing, makes me feel very good, dont know what to do, forget about new girl and move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (20 F) Dads (M 54) bad habits drive me insane and its ruining our relationship.
POST: My dad has many of those little annoying habits, eating loudly, biting his nails whenever his hands are free, loudly sniffing and coughing frequently and blaring BBC news past midnight.
I know logically that I should just get the fuck over it and I've been told to do this many times. But whenever I see him or hear him doing these things, I lose any sense of logic and it drives me absolutely bat shit crazy. People tell me to 'just ignore it' but that is way more easily said then done. I've struggled for years with this problem and now its gotten to the point where I can't sit in a room with my father without getting annoyed, and its putting a strain on our relationship.
I really hate this side of myself and I think I would be a much better person and have a much better relationship with my dad if I could get past this. I want to just get over it and give 0 fucks but I really don't know how. I'm getting desperate.
Reddit, I need your help. If anyone has been in a similar situation and could give me any advise it would mean the world. I love my father and I don't want to be like this any more.
TL;DR: | my dad's bad habits drive me insane, so much so that its putting a strain on our relationship. I want to know how to not give a fuck and deal with it. Plz halp |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Really needed to vent so here, my sushi apprenticeship hardships.
POST: I put myself and and a few other people into an awkward situation. My boss at work is great, when we close together we just chit chat about all the great nerd shit we are into and sometimes we talk about chicks and what not. All in all he is a great guy and he believes in me that I'm going to impress him and perform perfectly at work. Now heres where it starts to suck. He sees me at my best and tends not to be overly critical when I make mistakes but the other chefs ride my ass. They are nice and everything but they really ride my ass hard (oh grow up). Any who I'm relatively new to the sushi business and I wish I could be perfect and all but I'm only human. I've noticed my biggest problem isn't the speed that I work at or my work ethic at all but my mind. My mind is constantly wandering and I do all the important shit and almost all of the other shit perfectly but there's a few things I suck at, turning off the sushi display case refrigeration system and time management. I work hard but once I've finished my internal check list I check it a few more times and then I feel lost, I try to think of other extra shit to do but that still only lasts so long. I feel like I need to slow my roll a bit and realize that just because I'm being asked to do something the person asking me has been in my shoes and deserves my respect but also knows that it takes time to prepare good quality stuff.
TL;DR: | I work at a big corporate sushi joint and I work my ass off but occasionally I find myself with nothing to do, I also might have some major confidence issues. I need mental help. That is all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25 M] boyfriend [26 M] has me in his phone as another name.
POST: We have been dating for a little over a year and a half and are long distance right now. I noticed he had me in his phone as another name like, 8 months ago, I noticed in a text screenshot. I asked him then, and he blamed his phone.
He sent me another screenshot today and I noticed he again has me in as the same name. He cant blame his phone this time because it's WhatsApp. The name is a female name (we are both gay men)
I don't think he is cheating on me at all, in fact I can't even imagine he'd have time; he is a medical student and we talk often.
He is a far more private about being gay (but he still is out to friends and such, and some immediate family) than I am (and I am fairly private.) I am wondering if it is just related to that...maybe he doesn't want something popping on his screen up from another guy. Would it be stupid of me to let this go?
TL;DR: | Noticed by screenshot that long distance boyfriend has me in phone as woman's name. We are both gay. I feel like it probably has to do with him wanting to hide being gay from people. Should I confront anyway? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's your most unlikely chance meeting?
POST: Mine happened a couple days ago. It all started on Omegle, about three years ago where I met a random girl (gender has since been confirmed) who is now one of my better friends. She made me sign up for Tumblr, and I just started subscribing to random people, because I had (and still have) no idea what the point of that site is.
The first person I subscribed to posted some funny things, and a couple pictures of herself doing random things. I was reading the Hunger Games books at that time, and thought she looked exactly how I imagined Katniss would. I told her that, and she had no idea who Katniss was, or what the Hunger Games was. I told her to buy the books immediately, and she did. Off topic, but still funny: the lady at Barnes and Noble told her the exact same thing I did when she was checking out with the books.
So she loved the books, and we became friends. The kind of friends where we comment on each others' Facebook post every couple months, but still friends.
Fast forward to a couple days ago, in Disney World... I see her walk by, and just say "Katniss!" She actually looked, and we both freaked out for a few minutes about how crazy it was.
TL;DR: | Subscribed to a random girl on Tumblr, told her she looked how I thought Katniss would, ran into her in Disney World a couple years later. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Have negative feelings towards a mutual friend of ex and me for stupid reason and it's making me feel bad
POST: So, my first love and I broke up around 8 or 9 months ago (together for 1.5 yrs). Him and I decided to remain friends out of mutual respect towards one another and the fact that we are neighbors and have mutual friends. Our break up wasn't mutual because I really didn't want it to happen, but I respect his decision and have accepted it. But I'm pretty sure I still have some feelings for him left
Not too long ago we met a girl who was the new roommate of a mutual friend of ours. Girl is super cool and nice and honestly extremely compatible for my ex. Her personality is great for him and I honestly think she may have a little crush on him and I know he finds her attractive. They talk in a way that him and I never were able to really talk when we were together. The only thing that doesn't really work between them is their age difference. She just turned 19 and he just turned 24. A bunch of my friends and I (ex and girl i'm talking about included) have planned a thanksgiving potluck together tomorrow night and when I heard that she was gonna be there I felt super negative about it. For no good reason. I never used to feel this way about her but now all of a sudden I do even though she's really cool. I feel bad about having negative feelings for her, out of jealousy I guess. It makes me feel really bad. I hate that I have residual feelings for someone that I will never have again and someone that broke my heart but I just can't seem to get rid of them and now that this girl is in the picture I am having bad feelings towards her for no good reason.
TL;DR: | Have negative feelings towards a really cool girl in me and my ex's group of friends just because her and my ex are very compatible. It makes me feel really bad. Don't know how to deal with it |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Yesterday was a horrible day.
POST: Yesterday I did shrooms. While tripping I kept on getting this feeling of deja-vu and convinced myself that I was stuck in an infinite loop, which was really overwhelming and terrified me. In the middle of my terror, my mom called and told me our family cat died and I had to go home. I get home to see my brother and father hysterically crying, which made me start crying, and then a little later I developed an excruciating migraine that caused me to throw up due to the pain for 2 hours. So yep, it was a horrible day.
TL;DR: | Found out my cat died while in the middle of a bad shrooms trip. Went home, still tripping, to a devastated family, then got a headache so bad I threw up for 2 hours. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] and my [20 F] girlfriend are having issues, likely caused by me. Help?
POST: Hey guys, I don't really know if this is the right place to put this out there but I don't really know where else to go. I'll start from the beginning.
The relationship between her and I in the past few weeks/months have been fantastic. Enjoying the time together, going to movies, lunch/dinner, sleepovers, etc. In the past I've had pretty rocky relationships, including getting cheated on, and not feeling like I'm wanted. So some insecurities unfortunately fall into place because of that, which makes me sometimes ask "are you mad at me?" or something along those lines. When I ask her those things, in the past she'd console me and assure me everything was fine between us. But recently she's become pretty annoyed for hearing these questions, and it's getting to a point where she's actually questioning our relationship because of it. This was last night when she told me about her being upset.
Then, she went on to go on quite a list of things that I do that now annoy her. One specifically, I didn't even realize but I not my fingernails in her car and didn't put the nails out of the window. I didn't do it on purpose, but she went on a rant because of it. Before I know she would have shrugged it off, but now it's just upsetting her.
I don't really know what to do, we've been together since April (I know quite a short time) but we were good friends before that for over two years. She came out to me as having feelings, if that makes a difference. I would go as far as saying that I love this girl, and the last thing I'd want to do is to let her go. But that's what it seems like she's leaning towards. Any insight on my situation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
TL;DR: | My Girlfriend and I are just finished the honeymoon stage in our relationship and I know she's having second thoughts, possibly because of me. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [45 M] with my Ex-Wife [40 F] 15years, trouble moving on
POST: I separated from my wide coming on 2 years ago - she lied and cheated and it all ended. We have 2 kids and only ongoing communication is brief and related to them. I have no desire whatsoever to get back together and although still extremely hurt by the lies and cheating have not missed her at all.
Im kind of a bit lost and in all honesty still hurt. I hate saying that as I should just be moving on esp after this length of time. Reason for this post is advice on me. I really feel if her new relationship with the other person ended I would be in a better position and feel stronger. In know my happiness is not dependent on her status but it is clearly affecting me. Even if it did end I would still not want anything to do with her - but I feel I would be better able to cope/move on.
Occasionally I will imagine her relationship failed and it makes me feel more confident and strong. When I think about her being happy and with someone else I feel weak and sad and its holding me back. I know it sound pathetic but is this just a major ego bruising? Is it ego making me feel this way? Before anyone says I want to be with her - please believe me this is not true - I have practically nothing to do with her and do not want to. Why is it that if she is still with the person she cheated on me with its harder for me - I suspect only ego here but interested in some more independent opinions
TL;DR: | Why do i care if my ex is with the person she cheated on me with - why is it seemingly holding me back when I don't want to be with her?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] just started being ignored by a girl [22F] I've been seeing.
POST: So I've been seeing this girl for the past few weeks. We met on Tinder (I know, right?), and talked from there. We both knew we were looking for more of a relationship than just a hookup (although I did state in answer to a question that I was fine with casual sex, if that's what it was going to be). Everything seemed to be going good. She lives an hour away so we only see each other on weekends, but we talked every day. She came over last Sunday late and stayed through a lunch date Monday afternoon. And then after she left my house on Monday afternoon, she just has been really stunted in her replies or completely ignored me. We had a 4 text conversation on Monday night. We didn't talk for a couple of days, which is the longest it's been since we started seeing each other. Then last night, I sent her "hey" then like an hour later I got a "Hello." With a period… That can't be a good sign, right? I sent her back "What's up? Haven't talked to you in a minute." And she didn't respond to it. Tonight I just asked her if everything was alright, and haven't gotten a response.
So I don't know if she's ignoring me or whatever, or why. If I did something wrong, I'd like to know what. But if she's just done with the "relationship" then at least tell me. I've had women ignore me out of their lives before, and it's not cool. I'm 23, and despite my young age, I would like to find someone to be with. But like I said, casual sex is fine with me if I know that's what it is going to be. I don't like high school-esque bullshit drama and don't need that in my life.
TL;DR: | Guy talks to girl, guy sleeps with girl, girl starts to ignore guy completely, guy has no idea what's up. What is going on? Should I just say "fuck it" and move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by screaming in terror and waking up my family
POST: I woke up at an especially ungodly hour this morning... I remember briefly trying to figure out why I would wake up so early, when my hand came into contact with the hand of a stranger. Heart racing, I realized that the position of the hand meant that the intruder was between the wall and myself. Odd... The first thought of my morning addled brain was wondering why the intruder would go through the trouble of climbing over my body to fall asleep. Surely, any sensible person would have simply just plopped down on the empty space next to me.
It was with this thought that I convinced myself that "No, I am not feeling the hand of an intruder" and so I lowered my grip and tightened my hand around what was undoubtedly the arm of a stranger. I gave it a little shake just to verify my suspicions and sure enough, the arm started to limply flop around. I panicked. I've never been so freaked out in my entire life. I started screaming like a little schoolgirl and was inconsolable for a good 10 seconds. It took me a while to realize that my other arm was asleep and that the "intruder" I had come into contact with was actually myself.
I sorta fell asleep with one arm jammed (to the point of my elbow) under my pillow. My arm had gone completely numb – apparently when you can't feel anything in one arm you don't realize that the hand you are coming into contact with is your own. Embarrassing… I'm never going to hear the end of this from my family.
TL;DR: | I'm an idiot. Fell asleep with my arm under my pillow and woke up thinking someone else was sleeping next to me. Woke up my family with the ensuing screams. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] want to postpone a date with my GF [18 F]. But I'm not sure what to say?
POST: Basically we have a date to go to a nearby city tomorrow by using the train. However there is a football match in the city on that day, and due to this the train and city will likely be crowded. The crowds will not meld well with my social anxiety and I want to postpone the date for next weekend. However I'm worried this is not an acceptable reason for postponing. I'm not sure what reason I should give my girlfriend for postponing, as I don't want to sound weird by saying it's mostly anxiety. What excuse should I use/what should I say?
TL;DR: | Have a date tomorrow, but because a football match is on the train and city will likely be crowded, so I want to postpone by a week. What excuse should I use because I'm not sure crowds are an acceptable excuse? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [27m] she[27f] wants "space", but is keeping in contact.
POST: Friends for 4 years, been dating for 4 months.
Classic "i need space"; i know, i know... Most people think this is the coward's way to ease into a breakup. I am partially expecting this, though I obviously don't want it to happen.
She tells me she wants some space on the weekend, fine. When we're done hanging out, I grab my stuff and go, expecting not to hear from her for a while.
She texts me later that day. I keep my responses somewhat short, as I am keeping busy and enjoying the rest of my weekend.
She asks "you really like me don't you?" I reply "how do you know? Is it obvious?". "Yeah... I just know".
She texts me later saying "If i asked you to come over tonight, you probably would.". I respond "nope".
Is she looking for some sort of control or validation? She said she wants space, I'm giving her space. I'm not about to ignore her, but if she's texting me, I don't think she is giving herself the space she wanted.
I don't like these relationship games, either. I don't like to waste my time with them or the people that play them. How can I approach this situation to get an answer to the following without being too harsh: is it over? Yes or no. I don't want to bother with "what ifs", because they are poison to the mind. If no, how much space does she want/need? Limit visits during the week? A week apart, two weeks, a month?
TL;DR: | she says wants space, but is still texting me like nothing changed. How do I politely ask her to tell me whats going on (provided she knows) the next time she texts me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My manager at work and some co-workers friend requested me on Facebook, wouldn't both options be a bad idea?
POST: I hate my job, I work in the kitchen at Taco Bell where only guys work. They're assholes to me because I'm a girl, talk down to me like i'm retarded for shits and giggles, and when they don't feel like working next to me making the food they tell me "Dishes, NOW." I always tell them they're not the boss of me, they go over to my manager and whisper something to him, and then my male manager tells me "nicely" to do the dishes (which is a gross job, there's rotten food everywhere)
Did I mention that the manager cut my hours down to 4 hours a **week?**
Now they're all friend requesting me on facebook for who knows why, even the manager. What should I do? Accepting them would be a bad idea because I don't want them to see my personal life, and denying them would hurt my manager's feelings. If I deny them they'll hassle me at work too.
TL;DR: | Manager and douchebag coworkers friend requested me. Accepting them would be bad, and denying them would be bad. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] have a weird feeling about my SO [19 F] and her coworker [24 M]
POST: My SO and I have been together for over a year. She is an introvert with social anxiety. She doesn't talk to many people and when she does, it's quick conversations and she very rarely starts the conversation. However, my SO started a new job a few weeks ago. Her one coworker and her became friends pretty quickly.
They began talking and talking about hanging out. He bgan telling her how pretty she is and that he can't stop thinking about her. After he told her that he likes her and she told him that she has a boyfriend, she's on her phone texting him almost all the time. She told me that she doesn't like him and they're just friends but it just feels weird.
Today, he told her that he doesn't think that they should keep talking because it doesn't feel like it would be good for him to keep talking to her. Now, she's very upset and says that she has to get over it. Giving me very short answers and saying that she respects his decision and that she'll be fine.
I just want to know if I'm looking too much into this or not?
TL;DR: | SO talking to coworker seems weird to me and now she seems heartbroken that he doesn't want to talk anymore. Am I wrong for feeling like this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28/M] with my "boyfriend" [20 M/] 4 months, got awkward when asked about how long he'd been with me
POST: Last night the guy I've been seeing since November was asked by a friend "how long have you guys been together".
He kinda turned and looked at me as if it was an awkward question and then the girl was like "oh sorry weird question" and he said "yes!"
I then just said "we've been seeing each other since November".
Then today I asked if I could spend Easter with him and he was all "don't you wanna spend it with your family....if you must".
Then he said in a kinda sarcastic way "spending Easter together...getting serious".
I'm like "well it's been over 4 months".
I don't understand his behaviour. He stays over for days at a times then I can go a week without seeing him.
He is way more cute in text "I miss you, I need you".
But then he won't commit to being my boyfriend or wanting to spend Easter with me.
I wish he would make me feel a bit more special. Like I do to him and I let him know how I feel.
TL;DR: | Why is he being so cautious about wanting to be my boyfriend and where do I go from here. I'm tired to having to kinda beg to do things like spend holidays together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] and Ex [27 M] of 1.5 years: getting back in touch through Spotify after 9 months without contact
POST: Following a bad break up at the end of last year, my once very close ex and I completely stopped communicating. Up until recently we both had each other blocked on several social media platforms.
Last weekend was the anniversary of an event we both attended the previous year, and after reflecting on it I realised I no longer harbour any resentment or anger towards him. I unblocked him on social media, though realised he might not be ready to speak. Instead I followed him on Spotify two days ago, since it seemed more impersonal than other social networks and would just be a quiet nod that I was willing to be on better terms.
However, I noticed that he'd created a playlist last weekend containing a few songs to do with breakups, being lonely and people changing. The music was upbeat though lyrically depressing.
I followed two of his playlists, including the one above. Within a few hours he'd hidden the one described. He's yet to follow me.
I follow around 60 people I know from various groups and all of my playlists are just albums I like. I'd never considered it to be a particularly personal site.
He's a quiet, somewhat awkward person who doesn't tend to say what he really thinks. Should I unfollow in case he thinks I'm being intrusive or just leave it there and see if he wants to get in touch at a later time?
TL;DR: | Followed ex on Spotify after 9 months of no contact. He deleted a recent playlist made up of break up / sad songs. Should I unfollow him to avoid being intrusive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with a girl I am talking to [24 F] for about 3 months, may be also talking to my cousin [29 M]. Do I confront one of them?
POST: I [22M] have been getting to know someone from work [24F] for about 3 months now. We hang out, workout, watch shows, etc. I have told her that I like her and she says she likes me too but isn't looking for a relationship with anyone right now because she got out of a 4 year relationship a few months before we met.
Normally, I would be okay with that and be patient, but she also said that she talks to other people and I have reasons to believe that the other person/people may be my cousin [29M] who we both worked with. Also, whenever I hangout with her, she shies away from places that people from work might see us and it makes me feel like she is hiding me from someone or vice versa. I'm okay with her talking other guys, but if one of them is my cousin, I don't wan't to cause any turmoil between us.
Do I talk to one of them about this? If so which one? Or do I just walk away?
TL;DR: | Girl [24F] I am talking to may also be talking to my cousin [29M]. I [22M] do not know who to confront or if I should even say anything at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [24F] Girl I am dating lives with her ex - unsure what I [24M] should do.
POST: Almost two months ago I met a girl through some mutual friends at a dinner party and we immediatly hit it off. We chatted and texted a lot during the next weeks and went on some very succesful dates. She's everything I'm looking for at the moment - Intelligent, talented, funny, off-the-scale cute, bit dorky and introverted but not shy. I fell hard and have not felt this way about a girl for years. Her response has been great and she seems as eager as me to take the next steps.
She shares a two bedroom flat with a close male friend she's known since they were kids and also went to the same college with, I discovered they had also dated and been a couple for about half a year during that time, but that they decided it had been a mistake and went back to being friends, this was also before they moved in to the place where she lives now.
The thing is, she's terrible with social queues and could be pretty oblivious to what a massive red flag this is to me (or to any guy really). She doesn't have a lot of experience with guys and I think it was her first and only relationship. I'm just not sure how to bring this up without making it seem like I'm giving an ultimatum or want her to cut him out of her life.
I'm not desperate (or a doormat) and I wont rush into a relationship before I figure this thing out.
TL;DR: | She still lives with her ex and also close friend of many years, may not realize it's a red flag, I'm unsure how to bring it up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [22M] motivate my GF [23F] of 3 years to be more outgoing and successful?
POST: My girlfriend [23F] and I [22M] have been together for about 3 years now. We have had our ups and downs, including a short break at the beginning of the 2011 fall semester. However, lately I have been struggling with a few things that I can't seem to shake:
1) I would say my GF is of average intelligence, having graduated college in December with just under a 3.0 GPA. We had a few disagreements about when she should start looking for jobs, which led to her waiting until after she graduated to begin her search (not my idea). Since then, I have noticed a lack of motivation to actually search for good opportunities. She has applied at roughly 10 different places by simply emailing her resume to the listed contact on various websites, and explaining her career desires. I keep pushing her to network by attending local events in her field, trying to find a mentor, or making a LinkedIn profile--but nothing seems to work. She brushes off my advice by stating that she isn't social enough to network, or that it won't help in her field.
2) We've always talked about not having kids for a good 5-7 years after college so that we can have time to DINK (dual income no kids) and enjoy our lives together as adults. However, looking at the current situation I feel as though I am going to be the only one making a decent income, as most of the jobs she comes across pay only slightly better than minimum wage. I'm not trying to be greedy by any means, I just find success and career drive to be extremely attractive in a life partner.
These two recent events combined with a solid year of questioning staying with her have left me very confused. I want to motivate her to be more driven and outgoing, but I fear that its not going to happen. I've considered ending it many times before, but as she isn't outgoing I don't think I could leave her with no one for her to fall back on--I can't hurt her that badly...
Any advice?
TL;DR: | GF [23F] and I [22M] have been together 3 years, starting to question her motivation/career drive and out relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Disinterested guy being nice probably, how do I let him off the hook?
POST: He's (25M) incredibly hard to read, and I'm (22F) not sure if he's shy or just not interested. Not dating yet.
We talked, even got vibes of flirting from him, think I've seen him looking my direction once and awhile. I asked him out for coffee, gave him my number. He said 'sure. that could be fun.' He also said he got out of a relationship. He texted a day and a half later, which was sort of an anti-climatic conversation and ended with me doubletexting.
Our job is pretty busy, so I can't hang around and talk for more than two minutes at a time. I have trouble doing so because fucking nerves, but it seems he doesn't really want to talk now, even less so after I asked him out. Walks out without even saying goodbye.
I feel like shit because I feel like I made it awkward for him to talk with my other coworkers he's been with awhile, and he's just being nice about the whole thing.
TL;DR: | have no idea how to tell if this guy is disinterested or not. I feel like I should just tell him hey, don't worry about it and get it done with. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: New to budgeting: Have the motivation, but I've never done it before. Any tips?
POST: My finances are a total mess. I never learned good money management skills, or how to be wise with debt, so I have poor credit and struggle each month to pay all the bills. My parents cosigned on a home loan for me a few years ago (something they kind of pushed, I can't say I really knew what I was getting into) assuring me they'd help me out if things got tight, considering that I was already having a difficult time making ends meet in the cheaper apartment I had at the time. I'm not comfortable asking for their help, and really - neither are they. I'm honestly not positive that my income is enough to cover my bills and get groceries, let alone have any wiggle room, let alone put any money away for savings; so I need some serious budgetary direction. I'm working full time and also a full time college student, so I've been taking out extra student loans to cover the gap, but I don't want to just keep digging myself into a deeper hole. I'm hoping to find an excel spreadsheet or some kind of app that can help keep me on track. It's probably important to note that I'm a single mom as well, so my schedule is already so jam-packed, I can't just pick up another job. I do sell some artwork and do resumes for cash here and there. I'm ready to move forward. I want to start the new year by leaving my disorganized finances in 2014.
TL;DR: | Broke lady needs budgetary direction. Broke lady probably also needs to come up with more money, but let's take it one step at a time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit! What are some strange things that have happened to you in a public washroom? I'll start...
POST: So I was sitting in a Tim Horton's eating an amazing bagel topped with delicious whipped cream and sipping upon a cool and refreshing chocolate milk, when the urge to defecate invades my body. I promptly mosie on over to bathroom at a rather brisk pace. I disregard the uncleanliness of the lavatories and I sit down to unleash this unborn fetus. As I'm wrapping things up to an end, I hear someone stumble (and when I say stumble, I actually mean that he's crashing in) into the bathroom. Not even 20 seconds after his arrival and he began gently moaning, with a precise upward crescendo. I began feeling uncomfortable so i peered thru the crack in the stall. What I witnessed was a man with his pants down to his ankles and a firm grip around his unmentionables. Feeling immensely uncomfortable, I flushed the toilet, to scare him away. But alas, it failed, and the man still got louder. Fifteen minutes had passed since he was there ( or at least it felt that way) and there was still no sign of him stopping. I gave myself a motivational speech (in my noggin of course) and decided to just run and book it. So I slowly got up, pulled up my pants, and I slowly opened the door. When he saw me, he winked and turned around so his "adulthood" faced me. Staying concentrated I just ran and left the Tim Horton's, and I never finished the last bit of bagel waiting for me.
TL;DR: | A man came into the bathroom while I was dumping and started masturbating, and winked at me when I finally left. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (M26) am foggy on how to proceed with her (F22).
POST: Please help r/dating_advice.
Let's start with some back story...about a year ago I met a woman who was a couple years my junior and was dating someone. At the time I was not in a place where I was ready/able to be in a relationship, so I simply pursued a friendship with this woman, despite my feelings. As I got to know her my feelings became stronger, and I began to wonder how long I could handle not saying something. About this time I had a career issue and had to find a new job. I spend months searching and eventually got a full time job but during my search I essentially fell off the face of the planet. Almost immediately after I lost contact with her she became single, and soon after that she began dating someone else.
For the next few months I worked and we talked, it became clear that her new boyfriend was not...shall we say, good for her. I tried to be supportive and discuss issues that she was having in that relationship without making any moves toward her. She eventually came to the conclusion that he was not good for her and she broke things off. At this point I was offered the job I currently have, 90 minutes away, doing what I spent my college life learning to do. I couldn't in good conscience decline the job offer, but I wanted to stay around as I saw this as an opportunity to get closer with her and eventually attempt to see if she wanted to pursue a relationship.
Long story short, I took the job, and we chat a bit but as I feared we did drop out of contact a bit. I'll be home this weekend and I've convinced her to come out with me Saturday night. Let me outline the problem here...I have no idea how to handle this situation.
I have been in a total of 3 relationships in my life, and the most recent was 3 years ago. Is this a situation where I should simply tell her what I'm feeling/thinking or do I have to play this close to the chest to prevent losing what friendship we have? Is this the "friend-zone" that I have heard so much about? If so, how does one extricate one's self from that zone?
TL;DR: | I like her, we're friends, idk how she feels. Might be in friend-zone, don't really know. If so, how do I fix? If not, how should I proceed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my SO [20M] 1.5 years, ~4 m LDR, What are some ways I can show him how much I appreciate him?
POST: Hi everyone!
My boyfriend and I have been in a ldr for the best ~ 4 months of our relationship.
He is wonderful, smart, caring, funny, laughs at my jokes, dedicated, and just generally amazing.
I try everyday to tell him that I appreciate him, and "I love you" and how amazing I think he is.
My dilemma, is what can I do to show him all of this when we aren't in the same city? I really want to be able to do something for him, but it's hard when we're hours apart. I can't cook for him, or take him out on a surprise date, or cook up any ;) ;) surprises, (skype sex only goes so far...) because we aren't together.
I have sent him snail mail and a care package before, but I'm looking for some other ideas/things to do to show him how much I appreciate him.
Any thoughts or ideas would be very appreciated!
Thanks :)
TL;DR: | Me [19F] with my SO [20M] LDR, What are some ways I can show him how much I appreciate him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [23M] dating [22F] - finding the time when working/studying
POST: Ok so recently I started working full-time(finished my BS/MSc), and "unfortunately" met an amazing girl(completely out of the blue). And now I find myself struggling with time.
One of the things I am concerned about is that she is still studying, im working 9-17 on a great job, but I just want to spend more time with her. I don't want for her to feel distant, as we have an amazing time together.
I have been in a relationship before, but we never worried about time as we were at university.
So my question would primarily go to someone who is in this situation - is this the way it's supposed to be? just seeing each other after work hours and eventually weekends? So if you are in a relationship and one of you works, I would really appreciate some honest advice :)
Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | I work 9-17, she studies, is the quality time outside of work that I have enough to build a strong relationship? (aka are you supposed to not have enough time when one of you is working)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: An interesting observation I made today in regards to starting training
POST: About six months ago, I was running almost daily, getting solid mileage and feeling great. Then I got sick, and then I got lazy, and I haven't run at all since January.
Three weeks ago I've decided it's time for me to get back in shape and get back to it. Instead of easing into running, with a c25k kind of plan, I started taking my dog on increasingly long walks. Starting with two or three kilometers, building up to eight kilometers. Then I started taking those walks faster and faster. However fast I can maintain for that distance.
Today I finally decided it's time to start running. I planned to just see how far I can run without feeling awful. I managed 5km without any problems. The best part is that now, 5 or 6 hours later, my legs feel entirely fresh. There isn't a shred of soreness or exhaustion in them.
I think it's the walks that I was taking for the last few weeks that helped me skip the extremely frustrating and demotivating soreness that comes with starting a new running schedule.
I'd recommend this approach to anyone who wants to get into running. Start by walking at what feels like a fast pace for a few weeks, building up the distance of the walks. It makes the first run that you actually take that much easier.
TL;DR: | instead of jumping straight into running, go for some long walks first, to build up your initial endurance and not feel as sore after you actually begin running. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: online dating situation
POST: Hey everyone, just looking for an outside perspective here. I'm a 28m and I met a 24f online. We emailed and eventually texted back and forth for a few days before finally getting drinks together a few nights ago. The night seemed to go pretty well, we talked for several hours until the place closed at 1 am. I got a hug and a kiss on the cheek when we left. I realized later I screwed up and probably should have gotten a real kiss or continued that date but oh well. Texted her later saying I had a great night and she said "tonight was great, so glad to have met you. ttys." Not sure what to make of that. I called her a couple of days later and left a message about meeting up again, no response. I chalked it up as a loss at that point and moved on but I see she's looked at my online profile again. Maybe her just taking another look thinking "should I give this guy another shot?" I'm talking to some other girls but I'd genuinely like to see this girl a second time, should I bother contacting her again? I'm thinking of just asking how her school finals are going or something. I'm probably way over-thinking this but I'd appreciate any input, I'm obviously no dating guru. Thanks!
TL;DR: | went on a pretty good date with someone I met online. Hasn't responded about a second date but has looked at my profile again. Should I try contacting her again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Froend wants to know if she will lose custody [FL]
POST: Edit: meant friend, my bad
TL;DR: | R and E have child, R gets less than honorable discharge, has no job, not supporting child. E worried he could get full custody if she files for child support. |
Subsets and Splits