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black_mirror_scripts_S1-5

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[banging]
[helicopter whirrs]
[roars]
[tone sounds]
I'm gonna have to ask you to switch that off for now.
Okay, thanks.
[rattling continues]
You know what it's kinda like? It's kinda like a rollercoaster.
You know what I mean? It's like a roller coaster.
-[banging] -[giggles]
Try it, try it with me.
How tall-- How tall is the Eye?
How tall-- How tall is Big Ben?
[chattering]
All right
Since then, I've been working as a technology correspondent
for about two years now. It's been great.
Cool, that's awesome. So you do, like, TV reports and, like, you're like...
-No, just the website. -Oh, just the website?
I mean, there's some video stuff, but tech industry pieces mainly.
Cool, tech. Tech's awesome. Tech's--
So where have you been so far?
Travelling around the map like Indiana Jones?
-Yeah. -Where the adventure line
goes zigzagging all over the place.
Yeah, actually, I'm almost done. Uh...
But I started off, flew into Sydney, went to Thailand.
-Oh, jealous. -India. Yeah.
Did Rome, went to Rome.
-Did the whole Europe vacation. -Even I haven't done that.
-Oh, really? -Mm.
It was awesome. I went to Pamplona in Spain.
-Is that Where they do the bull runs? -Ran with the bulls.
-You Ran with the bulls? -I Ran with the bulls.
-That's how I got this. -Look at that!
You really are Indiana Jones.
Have you got your whip in your bag and your hat?
I saved the world from the Nazis. That was pretty cool.
I, you know, just... trying to do, you know, shit I've never done before.
Is that what you're doing on this trip? You're, like, finding yourself?
Yeah, um... in a way. I mean, I-- [stammers]
Really to get away from the family home is what I'm doing.
Oh.
Yeah, that was-- Whatever, that's boring.
Yeah, well, I'm afraid Britain's pretty tame
as far as daredevil opportunities go.
Yeah? It's alright, it's the last leg of the trip anyway so...
I'm... unfortunately home next week.
-Not much time-- -Next week?
-Yeah. -That's not very long.
-No, it's not. -Mnh-mnh.
So... I could use some suggestions on fun shit to do.
-Hmm. Fun shit to do? -Fun shit to do.
[groans] Ow! Ow!
[laughs] Jesus!
Hello.
-Good morning. -Good morning.
Oh. Another battle scar.
[laughs] Kind of.
Let me guess, you were, like,
[American accent] totally shark fishing in Cape Town, dude.
[laughs] Is that your best American accent?
-Yes. -That's pretty good. No, um...
It was courtesy of Josh Peters, high school dick.
He and I got into a fight in shop class.
And he hit me with this, like, metal rod thing.
-What an arsehole. -[laughs]
[posh English accent] What an arsehole.
-That's terrible. -I'm sorry.
-[phone vibrates] -Is that you or me?
Oh, it's gotta be you.
"Mom." You're so American.
Yes, I am.
Are you not gonna get that?
Okay, that was a little impersonal.
What, you wanna talk to her now?
-You wanna talk to my mum? I'll call back. -Fair point.
[laughs]
I don't think so.
[clears throat]
You hungry?
Wow, look at all these games. You're, like, a gamer. Cool.
Of course I am. For my job.
What, a girl never beat you at Street Fighter?
Is this-- Like, this is, like, your dating manual?
[laughs]
What? The Singularity?
It's when computers learn to outsmart man like women did years ago.
Oh! Wow!
See, what I was doing, it was like a joke.
-You know? -really?
-Yeah. -Well, that's what you call a joke?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, you guys have those.
-You guys have those here, right? -Yeah, Yeah. We do at the moment.
Ow!
That was a good joke. That was a good joke.
Enjoy your Marmite.
Whoa! Oh, my... [laughs]
Do you guys seriously eat this shit?
-Okay, alright. -[phone vibrates]