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p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8nsoqb | h8ox4pe | 1,628,779,812 | 1,628,796,676 | 247 | 1,276 | "No" is a complete sentence. Generally, a power of attorney lets someone enter into contracts, make legal decisions, take on debt, spend money, and so on on your behalf. A more limited power of attorney might not allow all of that - a limited power of attorney might only allow medical decisions, for example, or might only come into effect under certain conditions, such as incapacity. The text of the power means what it says, so if yours looks like it gives general authority, it probably does. In theory, they are responsible to you for how they do that, but in practice, it's up to you to hold them accountable. My general advice is that a power of attorney is a tool _for you_ to manage _your_ affairs. It's not a tool for anyone else to impose on you. If you do not have a specific goal in mind, then don't sign a power of attorney. If you would be considering this one "to keep the peace," then get it professionally reviewed. | There is no good reason for you to sign this. Do not sign it under any circumstances. | 0 | 16,864 | 5.165992 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8ox4pe | h8ntpq2 | 1,628,796,676 | 1,628,780,245 | 1,276 | 63 | There is no good reason for you to sign this. Do not sign it under any circumstances. | > Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing There are several types of power of attorney, so no one here can. You are smart to read it and question it. It's common these days for parents to want/get some sort of medical POA ("Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care") whereas it wasn't common at all when I went off to college. Even though it's common, and lots of websites and parents groups push parents to do it, there's no reason you should unless you want to. It means that if you are incapacitated, they can make medical decisions for you. Do you want that? As for "the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that" it very well may, you can Google the types of POA, and there is ZERO reason to want to sign anything else over to them. | 1 | 16,431 | 20.253968 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8nsoqb | h8pnxpq | 1,628,779,812 | 1,628,807,571 | 247 | 448 | "No" is a complete sentence. Generally, a power of attorney lets someone enter into contracts, make legal decisions, take on debt, spend money, and so on on your behalf. A more limited power of attorney might not allow all of that - a limited power of attorney might only allow medical decisions, for example, or might only come into effect under certain conditions, such as incapacity. The text of the power means what it says, so if yours looks like it gives general authority, it probably does. In theory, they are responsible to you for how they do that, but in practice, it's up to you to hold them accountable. My general advice is that a power of attorney is a tool _for you_ to manage _your_ affairs. It's not a tool for anyone else to impose on you. If you do not have a specific goal in mind, then don't sign a power of attorney. If you would be considering this one "to keep the peace," then get it professionally reviewed. | They are your parents. As such they already are the default decision-makers in the event you are incapacitated and unable to provide your own decisions in regard to medical care or the like. A POA is unnecessary for that. But it can be abused, used against your wishes, even if you are still hale and hearty. There is no reason for you to sign this. So don't. Also, you're 18. You say they've "resisted attempts... to talk to a lawyer about this decision first," but as a legal adult they can't stop you from seeing one on your own. They don't have to provide a ride, but surely you can find a way. Ask a friend, take the bus, call Uber. A consultation would be cheap or possibly free (call around to make an appointment, and ask how much it'd cost when you do). | 0 | 27,759 | 1.813765 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8ntpq2 | h8pnxpq | 1,628,780,245 | 1,628,807,571 | 63 | 448 | > Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing There are several types of power of attorney, so no one here can. You are smart to read it and question it. It's common these days for parents to want/get some sort of medical POA ("Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care") whereas it wasn't common at all when I went off to college. Even though it's common, and lots of websites and parents groups push parents to do it, there's no reason you should unless you want to. It means that if you are incapacitated, they can make medical decisions for you. Do you want that? As for "the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that" it very well may, you can Google the types of POA, and there is ZERO reason to want to sign anything else over to them. | They are your parents. As such they already are the default decision-makers in the event you are incapacitated and unable to provide your own decisions in regard to medical care or the like. A POA is unnecessary for that. But it can be abused, used against your wishes, even if you are still hale and hearty. There is no reason for you to sign this. So don't. Also, you're 18. You say they've "resisted attempts... to talk to a lawyer about this decision first," but as a legal adult they can't stop you from seeing one on your own. They don't have to provide a ride, but surely you can find a way. Ask a friend, take the bus, call Uber. A consultation would be cheap or possibly free (call around to make an appointment, and ask how much it'd cost when you do). | 0 | 27,326 | 7.111111 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8pudt5 | h8ps1ph | 1,628,810,750 | 1,628,809,581 | 36 | 24 | I'm not going to repeat the advice here about not signing. ​ What I will say is DOCUMENT THIS. Get it in writing why your parents want it. Get it in writing them asking you. Get it in writing that they won't let you talk to a lawyer. Make sure any threats are in writing. While a dependance override is almost impossible to get if you and your sister have a string of evidence " Give us POA or move out." "Give us POA or no FASFA" "Give us POA or else...." your schools financial aid is going to be able to help you. If you don't document, and shit hits the fan, (you aren't allowed home, etc) you have about a 0.000001% chance of getting any help next year. Even if you are supporting yourself independently. You also may be able to request a call with the dean of students, explain the situation and have him or her give you the words to use. They might even be willing to meet with them. (or add something to the parent-side "don't be a dumbass" orientation) | Giving your parents the benefit of the doubt, it might be one of those that “experts” recommend to them - of course for a fee. My daughter is also off to college, and last month the whole “get POA in case they’re incapacitated” made the rounds. Someone hears that they need it and tells someone else, and suddenly everyone is looking for a lawyer. Tell your parents it’s completely unnecessary since they’re your parents (unless you’re married I suppose) and might actually backfire. | 1 | 1,169 | 1.5 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8pudt5 | h8pq2wl | 1,628,810,750 | 1,628,808,609 | 36 | 6 | I'm not going to repeat the advice here about not signing. ​ What I will say is DOCUMENT THIS. Get it in writing why your parents want it. Get it in writing them asking you. Get it in writing that they won't let you talk to a lawyer. Make sure any threats are in writing. While a dependance override is almost impossible to get if you and your sister have a string of evidence " Give us POA or move out." "Give us POA or no FASFA" "Give us POA or else...." your schools financial aid is going to be able to help you. If you don't document, and shit hits the fan, (you aren't allowed home, etc) you have about a 0.000001% chance of getting any help next year. Even if you are supporting yourself independently. You also may be able to request a call with the dean of students, explain the situation and have him or her give you the words to use. They might even be willing to meet with them. (or add something to the parent-side "don't be a dumbass" orientation) | I'll add a practical example to some of the legal terms thrown around regarding types of POA. I'm in the military, and before we go on deployment I'll mention POAs to my folks since it always comes up. A limited POA will let, say, their spouse sell their car or their house--ie, things they were already planning on doing, but the service member can't be there in person to sign for. I always, ALWAYS warn them against mistakenly signing a general power of attorney; this could allow their spouse to, instead of just selling their car, liquidate their bank account and sell the house too in addition to God knows what. As others have stayed, limited POAs are very specific and CAN be useful, but I'm super sketched out by this. If one of the folks working for me we're to mention this to me, I would immediately send them to the legal department. | 1 | 2,141 | 6 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8ps1ph | h8pyj6t | 1,628,809,581 | 1,628,812,606 | 24 | 28 | Giving your parents the benefit of the doubt, it might be one of those that “experts” recommend to them - of course for a fee. My daughter is also off to college, and last month the whole “get POA in case they’re incapacitated” made the rounds. Someone hears that they need it and tells someone else, and suddenly everyone is looking for a lawyer. Tell your parents it’s completely unnecessary since they’re your parents (unless you’re married I suppose) and might actually backfire. | This document would give them immediate access to your medical, financial, and college situations. They could open and close bank accounts in your name. Open and close credit cards in your name. They could call your OBGYN and request the entirety of your medical records. They could call your school whenever for access to your grades and class list. This gives them complete control over you and once you sign it their word takes precedent over yours. | 0 | 3,025 | 1.166667 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8pq2wl | h8pyj6t | 1,628,808,609 | 1,628,812,606 | 6 | 28 | I'll add a practical example to some of the legal terms thrown around regarding types of POA. I'm in the military, and before we go on deployment I'll mention POAs to my folks since it always comes up. A limited POA will let, say, their spouse sell their car or their house--ie, things they were already planning on doing, but the service member can't be there in person to sign for. I always, ALWAYS warn them against mistakenly signing a general power of attorney; this could allow their spouse to, instead of just selling their car, liquidate their bank account and sell the house too in addition to God knows what. As others have stayed, limited POAs are very specific and CAN be useful, but I'm super sketched out by this. If one of the folks working for me we're to mention this to me, I would immediately send them to the legal department. | This document would give them immediate access to your medical, financial, and college situations. They could open and close bank accounts in your name. Open and close credit cards in your name. They could call your OBGYN and request the entirety of your medical records. They could call your school whenever for access to your grades and class list. This gives them complete control over you and once you sign it their word takes precedent over yours. | 0 | 3,997 | 4.666667 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8qlxj9 | h8ps1ph | 1,628,823,589 | 1,628,809,581 | 26 | 24 | Do not sign that. There's already laws in place for situations where you're incapacitated and need someone to speak on your behalf. You don't need a legal document to do so. Both of you need to tell them outright that you refuse. Maybe even put it in a text so you have written record of your refusal just in case they try to forge a signature. | Giving your parents the benefit of the doubt, it might be one of those that “experts” recommend to them - of course for a fee. My daughter is also off to college, and last month the whole “get POA in case they’re incapacitated” made the rounds. Someone hears that they need it and tells someone else, and suddenly everyone is looking for a lawyer. Tell your parents it’s completely unnecessary since they’re your parents (unless you’re married I suppose) and might actually backfire. | 1 | 14,008 | 1.083333 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8qlxj9 | h8pq2wl | 1,628,823,589 | 1,628,808,609 | 26 | 6 | Do not sign that. There's already laws in place for situations where you're incapacitated and need someone to speak on your behalf. You don't need a legal document to do so. Both of you need to tell them outright that you refuse. Maybe even put it in a text so you have written record of your refusal just in case they try to forge a signature. | I'll add a practical example to some of the legal terms thrown around regarding types of POA. I'm in the military, and before we go on deployment I'll mention POAs to my folks since it always comes up. A limited POA will let, say, their spouse sell their car or their house--ie, things they were already planning on doing, but the service member can't be there in person to sign for. I always, ALWAYS warn them against mistakenly signing a general power of attorney; this could allow their spouse to, instead of just selling their car, liquidate their bank account and sell the house too in addition to God knows what. As others have stayed, limited POAs are very specific and CAN be useful, but I'm super sketched out by this. If one of the folks working for me we're to mention this to me, I would immediately send them to the legal department. | 1 | 14,980 | 4.333333 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8qgsb0 | h8qlxj9 | 1,628,821,088 | 1,628,823,589 | 4 | 26 | You are of legal age. So, if you sign it, it is binding. You do have an absolute right to contact an attorney. This is not legal advice and I'm not an attorney. Contact one as soon as practical with the document. | Do not sign that. There's already laws in place for situations where you're incapacitated and need someone to speak on your behalf. You don't need a legal document to do so. Both of you need to tell them outright that you refuse. Maybe even put it in a text so you have written record of your refusal just in case they try to forge a signature. | 0 | 2,501 | 6.5 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8ps1ph | h8pq2wl | 1,628,809,581 | 1,628,808,609 | 24 | 6 | Giving your parents the benefit of the doubt, it might be one of those that “experts” recommend to them - of course for a fee. My daughter is also off to college, and last month the whole “get POA in case they’re incapacitated” made the rounds. Someone hears that they need it and tells someone else, and suddenly everyone is looking for a lawyer. Tell your parents it’s completely unnecessary since they’re your parents (unless you’re married I suppose) and might actually backfire. | I'll add a practical example to some of the legal terms thrown around regarding types of POA. I'm in the military, and before we go on deployment I'll mention POAs to my folks since it always comes up. A limited POA will let, say, their spouse sell their car or their house--ie, things they were already planning on doing, but the service member can't be there in person to sign for. I always, ALWAYS warn them against mistakenly signing a general power of attorney; this could allow their spouse to, instead of just selling their car, liquidate their bank account and sell the house too in addition to God knows what. As others have stayed, limited POAs are very specific and CAN be useful, but I'm super sketched out by this. If one of the folks working for me we're to mention this to me, I would immediately send them to the legal department. | 1 | 972 | 4 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8pq2wl | h8qyjmk | 1,628,808,609 | 1,628,830,679 | 6 | 7 | I'll add a practical example to some of the legal terms thrown around regarding types of POA. I'm in the military, and before we go on deployment I'll mention POAs to my folks since it always comes up. A limited POA will let, say, their spouse sell their car or their house--ie, things they were already planning on doing, but the service member can't be there in person to sign for. I always, ALWAYS warn them against mistakenly signing a general power of attorney; this could allow their spouse to, instead of just selling their car, liquidate their bank account and sell the house too in addition to God knows what. As others have stayed, limited POAs are very specific and CAN be useful, but I'm super sketched out by this. If one of the folks working for me we're to mention this to me, I would immediately send them to the legal department. | Don't sign anything until you read and understand it or consult a lawyer. I wouldn't do this. Especially if their being pushy/controlling about it. | 0 | 22,070 | 1.166667 |
p318rn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Parents insisting I (18F) sign a power of attorney document My sister and I are both leaving for college in a few days and my parents suddenly handed us power of attorney documents to sign. They’ve resisted attempts by my sister to talk to a lawyer about this decision first, and we’re hesitant to sign. My parents explained that it is in case one of us is incapacitated and they would have to take over our finances, but the document itself seems to be giving them more power than that. Could someone explain what exactly I’m signing, and if there’s a way to ensure this financial, legal, medical, etc power is ONLY for if I can’t make those decisions myself? | h8qgsb0 | h8qyjmk | 1,628,821,088 | 1,628,830,679 | 4 | 7 | You are of legal age. So, if you sign it, it is binding. You do have an absolute right to contact an attorney. This is not legal advice and I'm not an attorney. Contact one as soon as practical with the document. | Don't sign anything until you read and understand it or consult a lawyer. I wouldn't do this. Especially if their being pushy/controlling about it. | 0 | 9,591 | 1.75 |
79woer | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | [NY] Psychiatrist keeps in contact with parent despite my insistence that she not talk to him without prior permission Hey all, I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about two years now and I feel like there have been some serious ethical breaches with her lately. There have definitely been times where she misled me about treatment options (like certain programs she wanted me to attend, or people she wanted me to meet), but lately I've been extremely bothered by her continued contact with my father. I'm 25 years old and living at home to save money while attending college, and she's been discussing things from my appointments with my father. I've spoken with her several times about this and made it clear that I do not give her permission to be in contact with him, and that she needs to get my consent first to speak with him, but every few weeks I find out they've been speaking. This has led to an incredibly tense homelife as she's been sharing personal information with him. Is this an ethical breach and should I report it? It's negatively impacting my mental health and leading to a lot of anxiety for me. | dp5chwy | dp5k6wr | 1,509,467,052 | 1,509,474,994 | 90 | 174 | Go to U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Health Information Privacy - Filing a Complaint | > Is this an ethical breach and should I report it? Yes and yes. It is also a breach of federal patient privacy laws. First stop seeing this person, and start looking for a new psychiatrist. You should not be getting health care from a person you cannot trust-- especially not mental health care. Second, report an ethics complaint to the state board. In NY that would be the Office of Professional Medical Conduct. Third, report a HIPAA complaint about the privacy breach. That's a federal issue reportable to the Department of Health and Human Services. (I am not a lawyer but I am a medical professional. We're supposed to know these things so we can tell our patients how to complain about us and each other.) | 0 | 7,942 | 1.933333 |
79woer | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | [NY] Psychiatrist keeps in contact with parent despite my insistence that she not talk to him without prior permission Hey all, I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about two years now and I feel like there have been some serious ethical breaches with her lately. There have definitely been times where she misled me about treatment options (like certain programs she wanted me to attend, or people she wanted me to meet), but lately I've been extremely bothered by her continued contact with my father. I'm 25 years old and living at home to save money while attending college, and she's been discussing things from my appointments with my father. I've spoken with her several times about this and made it clear that I do not give her permission to be in contact with him, and that she needs to get my consent first to speak with him, but every few weeks I find out they've been speaking. This has led to an incredibly tense homelife as she's been sharing personal information with him. Is this an ethical breach and should I report it? It's negatively impacting my mental health and leading to a lot of anxiety for me. | dp63zma | dp624h1 | 1,509,497,185 | 1,509,494,853 | 21 | 17 | You're not under a guardianship/conservatorship due to mental health or another disability, correct? | Report her to the licensing board! What she is doing violates professional ethics not to mention HIPAA. File an official complaint with her employer- if she’s not in private practice. Do NOT go back to her. There are other psychiatrists who are compentent and will follow the laws and ethics | 1 | 2,332 | 1.235294 |
79woer | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | [NY] Psychiatrist keeps in contact with parent despite my insistence that she not talk to him without prior permission Hey all, I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about two years now and I feel like there have been some serious ethical breaches with her lately. There have definitely been times where she misled me about treatment options (like certain programs she wanted me to attend, or people she wanted me to meet), but lately I've been extremely bothered by her continued contact with my father. I'm 25 years old and living at home to save money while attending college, and she's been discussing things from my appointments with my father. I've spoken with her several times about this and made it clear that I do not give her permission to be in contact with him, and that she needs to get my consent first to speak with him, but every few weeks I find out they've been speaking. This has led to an incredibly tense homelife as she's been sharing personal information with him. Is this an ethical breach and should I report it? It's negatively impacting my mental health and leading to a lot of anxiety for me. | dp63doh | dp63zma | 1,509,496,424 | 1,509,497,185 | 5 | 21 | I really think it’s time you change providers. If she can’t keep your phi, to herself then it’s time To switch. I’m not sure if this was already stated but if you signed consent in the past you need to retract it in writing. | You're not under a guardianship/conservatorship due to mental health or another disability, correct? | 0 | 761 | 4.2 |
79woer | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | [NY] Psychiatrist keeps in contact with parent despite my insistence that she not talk to him without prior permission Hey all, I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about two years now and I feel like there have been some serious ethical breaches with her lately. There have definitely been times where she misled me about treatment options (like certain programs she wanted me to attend, or people she wanted me to meet), but lately I've been extremely bothered by her continued contact with my father. I'm 25 years old and living at home to save money while attending college, and she's been discussing things from my appointments with my father. I've spoken with her several times about this and made it clear that I do not give her permission to be in contact with him, and that she needs to get my consent first to speak with him, but every few weeks I find out they've been speaking. This has led to an incredibly tense homelife as she's been sharing personal information with him. Is this an ethical breach and should I report it? It's negatively impacting my mental health and leading to a lot of anxiety for me. | dp66r1j | dp63doh | 1,509,500,629 | 1,509,496,424 | 10 | 5 | Absolutely report her. She needs written consent from you signed by you stating that she can speak with your father. If she doesn’t have that, she is legally and ethically in the wrong. If she does have that, you need to demand that you sign something reneging that consent. If she doesn’t have that, I would report her. Consent and releases of info are huge and it’s grounds to sue if she is breaching confidentiality. | I really think it’s time you change providers. If she can’t keep your phi, to herself then it’s time To switch. I’m not sure if this was already stated but if you signed consent in the past you need to retract it in writing. | 1 | 4,205 | 2 |
psl9gw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Border Patrol truck totaled my car, lied to the FD on my behalf and are now being evasive about insurance This happened in Arizona Yesterday, my gf and I were making a left turn with a green arrow and an oncoming truck ran the red light and hit us so hard that we flipped all the way around and hit another car. They weren't in a chase or anything, and didn't have sirens on. The driver was just being negligent. Immediately the BP agent's supervisor swarmed onto the scene with other people in their convoy, making it difficult to tell what was going on. I spoke to one police officer who I think took a statement? Can't be sure. The BP handled most of everything. I asked for proof of insurance but they said it was handled differently, and they only showed me a slip of paper that said they were exempt from something with some legalize I don't quite understand. I took photos of everything and was sure to get a few phone numbers from witnesses who saw that I wasnt at fault, which I gave to the police as well as kept copies of for myself. When the FD came they asked if anything was broken, I said no but we might have whiplash and I'd like to be checked out. They must not have heard me since they immediately got back in the engine and went to leave, and the BP agent wanted to ask me more questions. Later, when when the ambulance came the BP supervisor told them we had denied care, which I told them was untrue and they checked us and took our vitals. The BP wanted me to sign something for them to hook up a computer to my car for diagnostics and I got rather upset and mouthed off a bit about how they were the perpetrators looking to cover their buddy's ass. And if I was going to sign anything, it would be with my insurance and not them. I tried to get a photo of the truck's license plates but the agents there refused to let me leave the side of the street I was on to do so. On the phone with my insurance, the operator said she wasn't sure what to do, and that my adjuster would call me later today. I did go to the ER later that afternoon and got Xrays, and nothing is broken. But my right wrist steel hurts like hell and I make most of my income from digital art and playing bass, which I currently can't do on account of the pain. On top of that I have PTSD from being an EMT and this whole thing has me pretty rattled. Almost checked back into the hospital for psych stuff last night but wanted to stay home to comfort my GF. This whole situation has been painful. What are my options moving forward? | hdra5pb | hdrb2yk | 1,632,253,717 | 1,632,254,091 | 19 | 46 | Keep working with your insurance adjustor. There must be some avenue when the other party is a governmental agency -- perhaps use that term rather than BP. I looked around for similar cases and the insurance company had to sue the federal government. But your insurance company should be working with you. | Go through your insurer only. You do not want to be dealing directly with the border patrol. | 0 | 374 | 2.421053 |
psl9gw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Border Patrol truck totaled my car, lied to the FD on my behalf and are now being evasive about insurance This happened in Arizona Yesterday, my gf and I were making a left turn with a green arrow and an oncoming truck ran the red light and hit us so hard that we flipped all the way around and hit another car. They weren't in a chase or anything, and didn't have sirens on. The driver was just being negligent. Immediately the BP agent's supervisor swarmed onto the scene with other people in their convoy, making it difficult to tell what was going on. I spoke to one police officer who I think took a statement? Can't be sure. The BP handled most of everything. I asked for proof of insurance but they said it was handled differently, and they only showed me a slip of paper that said they were exempt from something with some legalize I don't quite understand. I took photos of everything and was sure to get a few phone numbers from witnesses who saw that I wasnt at fault, which I gave to the police as well as kept copies of for myself. When the FD came they asked if anything was broken, I said no but we might have whiplash and I'd like to be checked out. They must not have heard me since they immediately got back in the engine and went to leave, and the BP agent wanted to ask me more questions. Later, when when the ambulance came the BP supervisor told them we had denied care, which I told them was untrue and they checked us and took our vitals. The BP wanted me to sign something for them to hook up a computer to my car for diagnostics and I got rather upset and mouthed off a bit about how they were the perpetrators looking to cover their buddy's ass. And if I was going to sign anything, it would be with my insurance and not them. I tried to get a photo of the truck's license plates but the agents there refused to let me leave the side of the street I was on to do so. On the phone with my insurance, the operator said she wasn't sure what to do, and that my adjuster would call me later today. I did go to the ER later that afternoon and got Xrays, and nothing is broken. But my right wrist steel hurts like hell and I make most of my income from digital art and playing bass, which I currently can't do on account of the pain. On top of that I have PTSD from being an EMT and this whole thing has me pretty rattled. Almost checked back into the hospital for psych stuff last night but wanted to stay home to comfort my GF. This whole situation has been painful. What are my options moving forward? | hdrb2yk | hdqu57a | 1,632,254,091 | 1,632,247,110 | 46 | 14 | Go through your insurer only. You do not want to be dealing directly with the border patrol. | Find a personal injury with experience in handling claims involving the federal government. Also, see an ortho about your wrist. It won’t cost you money up front, and a good one will make sure to get some cash in your pocket after everything is settled. Do not talk about your injuries with anyone. I would be hesitant to let them settle the property claim without having someone else involved. Good luck. - paralegal for personal injury | 1 | 6,981 | 3.285714 |
psl9gw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Border Patrol truck totaled my car, lied to the FD on my behalf and are now being evasive about insurance This happened in Arizona Yesterday, my gf and I were making a left turn with a green arrow and an oncoming truck ran the red light and hit us so hard that we flipped all the way around and hit another car. They weren't in a chase or anything, and didn't have sirens on. The driver was just being negligent. Immediately the BP agent's supervisor swarmed onto the scene with other people in their convoy, making it difficult to tell what was going on. I spoke to one police officer who I think took a statement? Can't be sure. The BP handled most of everything. I asked for proof of insurance but they said it was handled differently, and they only showed me a slip of paper that said they were exempt from something with some legalize I don't quite understand. I took photos of everything and was sure to get a few phone numbers from witnesses who saw that I wasnt at fault, which I gave to the police as well as kept copies of for myself. When the FD came they asked if anything was broken, I said no but we might have whiplash and I'd like to be checked out. They must not have heard me since they immediately got back in the engine and went to leave, and the BP agent wanted to ask me more questions. Later, when when the ambulance came the BP supervisor told them we had denied care, which I told them was untrue and they checked us and took our vitals. The BP wanted me to sign something for them to hook up a computer to my car for diagnostics and I got rather upset and mouthed off a bit about how they were the perpetrators looking to cover their buddy's ass. And if I was going to sign anything, it would be with my insurance and not them. I tried to get a photo of the truck's license plates but the agents there refused to let me leave the side of the street I was on to do so. On the phone with my insurance, the operator said she wasn't sure what to do, and that my adjuster would call me later today. I did go to the ER later that afternoon and got Xrays, and nothing is broken. But my right wrist steel hurts like hell and I make most of my income from digital art and playing bass, which I currently can't do on account of the pain. On top of that I have PTSD from being an EMT and this whole thing has me pretty rattled. Almost checked back into the hospital for psych stuff last night but wanted to stay home to comfort my GF. This whole situation has been painful. What are my options moving forward? | hdrb2yk | hdr2nto | 1,632,254,091 | 1,632,250,639 | 46 | 10 | Go through your insurer only. You do not want to be dealing directly with the border patrol. | Call a personal injury lawyer. Suing a government entity is complex and you're probably better off with a lawyer doing it for you. A lot of PI lawyers work on contingency--ie, they get paid when you get paid, so you don't have to pony up money up front. | 1 | 3,452 | 4.6 |
psl9gw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Border Patrol truck totaled my car, lied to the FD on my behalf and are now being evasive about insurance This happened in Arizona Yesterday, my gf and I were making a left turn with a green arrow and an oncoming truck ran the red light and hit us so hard that we flipped all the way around and hit another car. They weren't in a chase or anything, and didn't have sirens on. The driver was just being negligent. Immediately the BP agent's supervisor swarmed onto the scene with other people in their convoy, making it difficult to tell what was going on. I spoke to one police officer who I think took a statement? Can't be sure. The BP handled most of everything. I asked for proof of insurance but they said it was handled differently, and they only showed me a slip of paper that said they were exempt from something with some legalize I don't quite understand. I took photos of everything and was sure to get a few phone numbers from witnesses who saw that I wasnt at fault, which I gave to the police as well as kept copies of for myself. When the FD came they asked if anything was broken, I said no but we might have whiplash and I'd like to be checked out. They must not have heard me since they immediately got back in the engine and went to leave, and the BP agent wanted to ask me more questions. Later, when when the ambulance came the BP supervisor told them we had denied care, which I told them was untrue and they checked us and took our vitals. The BP wanted me to sign something for them to hook up a computer to my car for diagnostics and I got rather upset and mouthed off a bit about how they were the perpetrators looking to cover their buddy's ass. And if I was going to sign anything, it would be with my insurance and not them. I tried to get a photo of the truck's license plates but the agents there refused to let me leave the side of the street I was on to do so. On the phone with my insurance, the operator said she wasn't sure what to do, and that my adjuster would call me later today. I did go to the ER later that afternoon and got Xrays, and nothing is broken. But my right wrist steel hurts like hell and I make most of my income from digital art and playing bass, which I currently can't do on account of the pain. On top of that I have PTSD from being an EMT and this whole thing has me pretty rattled. Almost checked back into the hospital for psych stuff last night but wanted to stay home to comfort my GF. This whole situation has been painful. What are my options moving forward? | hdrzam7 | hdra5pb | 1,632,264,633 | 1,632,253,717 | 45 | 19 | Not a lawyer, former insurance adjuster in my home state, but not your state. My wife was rear ended by a Secret Service agent in Dallas a few years ago. We went through the same process you are now, and I can tell you the best thing for you to do is to let your insurance handle it. They’ll subrogate (cover you for now, get their money back from BP later and in court if need be). My only concern is that any FD, PD, BP incident reports (or whatever verbiage they may call it) may be wrong. When this happened to us, the Secret Service agent lied on his report to cover his ass. Just a heads up | Keep working with your insurance adjustor. There must be some avenue when the other party is a governmental agency -- perhaps use that term rather than BP. I looked around for similar cases and the insurance company had to sue the federal government. But your insurance company should be working with you. | 1 | 10,916 | 2.368421 |
psl9gw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Border Patrol truck totaled my car, lied to the FD on my behalf and are now being evasive about insurance This happened in Arizona Yesterday, my gf and I were making a left turn with a green arrow and an oncoming truck ran the red light and hit us so hard that we flipped all the way around and hit another car. They weren't in a chase or anything, and didn't have sirens on. The driver was just being negligent. Immediately the BP agent's supervisor swarmed onto the scene with other people in their convoy, making it difficult to tell what was going on. I spoke to one police officer who I think took a statement? Can't be sure. The BP handled most of everything. I asked for proof of insurance but they said it was handled differently, and they only showed me a slip of paper that said they were exempt from something with some legalize I don't quite understand. I took photos of everything and was sure to get a few phone numbers from witnesses who saw that I wasnt at fault, which I gave to the police as well as kept copies of for myself. When the FD came they asked if anything was broken, I said no but we might have whiplash and I'd like to be checked out. They must not have heard me since they immediately got back in the engine and went to leave, and the BP agent wanted to ask me more questions. Later, when when the ambulance came the BP supervisor told them we had denied care, which I told them was untrue and they checked us and took our vitals. The BP wanted me to sign something for them to hook up a computer to my car for diagnostics and I got rather upset and mouthed off a bit about how they were the perpetrators looking to cover their buddy's ass. And if I was going to sign anything, it would be with my insurance and not them. I tried to get a photo of the truck's license plates but the agents there refused to let me leave the side of the street I was on to do so. On the phone with my insurance, the operator said she wasn't sure what to do, and that my adjuster would call me later today. I did go to the ER later that afternoon and got Xrays, and nothing is broken. But my right wrist steel hurts like hell and I make most of my income from digital art and playing bass, which I currently can't do on account of the pain. On top of that I have PTSD from being an EMT and this whole thing has me pretty rattled. Almost checked back into the hospital for psych stuff last night but wanted to stay home to comfort my GF. This whole situation has been painful. What are my options moving forward? | hdqu57a | hdrzam7 | 1,632,247,110 | 1,632,264,633 | 14 | 45 | Find a personal injury with experience in handling claims involving the federal government. Also, see an ortho about your wrist. It won’t cost you money up front, and a good one will make sure to get some cash in your pocket after everything is settled. Do not talk about your injuries with anyone. I would be hesitant to let them settle the property claim without having someone else involved. Good luck. - paralegal for personal injury | Not a lawyer, former insurance adjuster in my home state, but not your state. My wife was rear ended by a Secret Service agent in Dallas a few years ago. We went through the same process you are now, and I can tell you the best thing for you to do is to let your insurance handle it. They’ll subrogate (cover you for now, get their money back from BP later and in court if need be). My only concern is that any FD, PD, BP incident reports (or whatever verbiage they may call it) may be wrong. When this happened to us, the Secret Service agent lied on his report to cover his ass. Just a heads up | 0 | 17,523 | 3.214286 |
psl9gw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Border Patrol truck totaled my car, lied to the FD on my behalf and are now being evasive about insurance This happened in Arizona Yesterday, my gf and I were making a left turn with a green arrow and an oncoming truck ran the red light and hit us so hard that we flipped all the way around and hit another car. They weren't in a chase or anything, and didn't have sirens on. The driver was just being negligent. Immediately the BP agent's supervisor swarmed onto the scene with other people in their convoy, making it difficult to tell what was going on. I spoke to one police officer who I think took a statement? Can't be sure. The BP handled most of everything. I asked for proof of insurance but they said it was handled differently, and they only showed me a slip of paper that said they were exempt from something with some legalize I don't quite understand. I took photos of everything and was sure to get a few phone numbers from witnesses who saw that I wasnt at fault, which I gave to the police as well as kept copies of for myself. When the FD came they asked if anything was broken, I said no but we might have whiplash and I'd like to be checked out. They must not have heard me since they immediately got back in the engine and went to leave, and the BP agent wanted to ask me more questions. Later, when when the ambulance came the BP supervisor told them we had denied care, which I told them was untrue and they checked us and took our vitals. The BP wanted me to sign something for them to hook up a computer to my car for diagnostics and I got rather upset and mouthed off a bit about how they were the perpetrators looking to cover their buddy's ass. And if I was going to sign anything, it would be with my insurance and not them. I tried to get a photo of the truck's license plates but the agents there refused to let me leave the side of the street I was on to do so. On the phone with my insurance, the operator said she wasn't sure what to do, and that my adjuster would call me later today. I did go to the ER later that afternoon and got Xrays, and nothing is broken. But my right wrist steel hurts like hell and I make most of my income from digital art and playing bass, which I currently can't do on account of the pain. On top of that I have PTSD from being an EMT and this whole thing has me pretty rattled. Almost checked back into the hospital for psych stuff last night but wanted to stay home to comfort my GF. This whole situation has been painful. What are my options moving forward? | hdrzam7 | hdr2nto | 1,632,264,633 | 1,632,250,639 | 45 | 10 | Not a lawyer, former insurance adjuster in my home state, but not your state. My wife was rear ended by a Secret Service agent in Dallas a few years ago. We went through the same process you are now, and I can tell you the best thing for you to do is to let your insurance handle it. They’ll subrogate (cover you for now, get their money back from BP later and in court if need be). My only concern is that any FD, PD, BP incident reports (or whatever verbiage they may call it) may be wrong. When this happened to us, the Secret Service agent lied on his report to cover his ass. Just a heads up | Call a personal injury lawyer. Suing a government entity is complex and you're probably better off with a lawyer doing it for you. A lot of PI lawyers work on contingency--ie, they get paid when you get paid, so you don't have to pony up money up front. | 1 | 13,994 | 4.5 |
psl9gw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Border Patrol truck totaled my car, lied to the FD on my behalf and are now being evasive about insurance This happened in Arizona Yesterday, my gf and I were making a left turn with a green arrow and an oncoming truck ran the red light and hit us so hard that we flipped all the way around and hit another car. They weren't in a chase or anything, and didn't have sirens on. The driver was just being negligent. Immediately the BP agent's supervisor swarmed onto the scene with other people in their convoy, making it difficult to tell what was going on. I spoke to one police officer who I think took a statement? Can't be sure. The BP handled most of everything. I asked for proof of insurance but they said it was handled differently, and they only showed me a slip of paper that said they were exempt from something with some legalize I don't quite understand. I took photos of everything and was sure to get a few phone numbers from witnesses who saw that I wasnt at fault, which I gave to the police as well as kept copies of for myself. When the FD came they asked if anything was broken, I said no but we might have whiplash and I'd like to be checked out. They must not have heard me since they immediately got back in the engine and went to leave, and the BP agent wanted to ask me more questions. Later, when when the ambulance came the BP supervisor told them we had denied care, which I told them was untrue and they checked us and took our vitals. The BP wanted me to sign something for them to hook up a computer to my car for diagnostics and I got rather upset and mouthed off a bit about how they were the perpetrators looking to cover their buddy's ass. And if I was going to sign anything, it would be with my insurance and not them. I tried to get a photo of the truck's license plates but the agents there refused to let me leave the side of the street I was on to do so. On the phone with my insurance, the operator said she wasn't sure what to do, and that my adjuster would call me later today. I did go to the ER later that afternoon and got Xrays, and nothing is broken. But my right wrist steel hurts like hell and I make most of my income from digital art and playing bass, which I currently can't do on account of the pain. On top of that I have PTSD from being an EMT and this whole thing has me pretty rattled. Almost checked back into the hospital for psych stuff last night but wanted to stay home to comfort my GF. This whole situation has been painful. What are my options moving forward? | hdra5pb | hdqu57a | 1,632,253,717 | 1,632,247,110 | 19 | 14 | Keep working with your insurance adjustor. There must be some avenue when the other party is a governmental agency -- perhaps use that term rather than BP. I looked around for similar cases and the insurance company had to sue the federal government. But your insurance company should be working with you. | Find a personal injury with experience in handling claims involving the federal government. Also, see an ortho about your wrist. It won’t cost you money up front, and a good one will make sure to get some cash in your pocket after everything is settled. Do not talk about your injuries with anyone. I would be hesitant to let them settle the property claim without having someone else involved. Good luck. - paralegal for personal injury | 1 | 6,607 | 1.357143 |
psl9gw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Border Patrol truck totaled my car, lied to the FD on my behalf and are now being evasive about insurance This happened in Arizona Yesterday, my gf and I were making a left turn with a green arrow and an oncoming truck ran the red light and hit us so hard that we flipped all the way around and hit another car. They weren't in a chase or anything, and didn't have sirens on. The driver was just being negligent. Immediately the BP agent's supervisor swarmed onto the scene with other people in their convoy, making it difficult to tell what was going on. I spoke to one police officer who I think took a statement? Can't be sure. The BP handled most of everything. I asked for proof of insurance but they said it was handled differently, and they only showed me a slip of paper that said they were exempt from something with some legalize I don't quite understand. I took photos of everything and was sure to get a few phone numbers from witnesses who saw that I wasnt at fault, which I gave to the police as well as kept copies of for myself. When the FD came they asked if anything was broken, I said no but we might have whiplash and I'd like to be checked out. They must not have heard me since they immediately got back in the engine and went to leave, and the BP agent wanted to ask me more questions. Later, when when the ambulance came the BP supervisor told them we had denied care, which I told them was untrue and they checked us and took our vitals. The BP wanted me to sign something for them to hook up a computer to my car for diagnostics and I got rather upset and mouthed off a bit about how they were the perpetrators looking to cover their buddy's ass. And if I was going to sign anything, it would be with my insurance and not them. I tried to get a photo of the truck's license plates but the agents there refused to let me leave the side of the street I was on to do so. On the phone with my insurance, the operator said she wasn't sure what to do, and that my adjuster would call me later today. I did go to the ER later that afternoon and got Xrays, and nothing is broken. But my right wrist steel hurts like hell and I make most of my income from digital art and playing bass, which I currently can't do on account of the pain. On top of that I have PTSD from being an EMT and this whole thing has me pretty rattled. Almost checked back into the hospital for psych stuff last night but wanted to stay home to comfort my GF. This whole situation has been painful. What are my options moving forward? | hdra5pb | hdr2nto | 1,632,253,717 | 1,632,250,639 | 19 | 10 | Keep working with your insurance adjustor. There must be some avenue when the other party is a governmental agency -- perhaps use that term rather than BP. I looked around for similar cases and the insurance company had to sue the federal government. But your insurance company should be working with you. | Call a personal injury lawyer. Suing a government entity is complex and you're probably better off with a lawyer doing it for you. A lot of PI lawyers work on contingency--ie, they get paid when you get paid, so you don't have to pony up money up front. | 1 | 3,078 | 1.9 |
bcdxbm | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Edit to include that we are located in the US | ekpss78 | ekpwbtm | 1,555,077,879 | 1,555,080,043 | 6 | 497 | ---
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Author: /u/babycheetahface
Title: **Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property**
Original Post:
> This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. > My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. > Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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LocationBot 4.6319918 & 17/64ths | Report Issues | So I get that home inspectors have absolutely NO liability for bad findings, but HOW THE HELL DID THEY MISS THIS?! After 9 years, you're probably S.O.L. for going after the previous owners for misrepresenting the house. It also seems like you have no damages from paying the sewer district, so they seemed to know you weren't part of the system. Going forward is probably not a legal issue but a home improvement issue. You're going to have to replace the septic system, or somehow get hooked up to the sewer. | 0 | 2,164 | 82.833333 |
bcdxbm | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Edit to include that we are located in the US | ekpss78 | ekqao0o | 1,555,077,879 | 1,555,088,663 | 6 | 448 | ---
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Author: /u/babycheetahface
Title: **Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property**
Original Post:
> This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. > My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. > Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
---
LocationBot 4.6319918 & 17/64ths | Report Issues | If you need to prove what previous owners knew, you could try contacting local septic businesses ( there usually aren't many in an area) and see if there is a service history for the property. We get our tank pumped out every 3-5 years. If they knew they had it, they probably had service done at some point. | 0 | 10,784 | 74.666667 |
bcdxbm | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Edit to include that we are located in the US | ekq8z3n | ekqao0o | 1,555,087,712 | 1,555,088,663 | 6 | 448 | So usually the way this type of post goes is someone discovers an abandoned septic tank in the yard and wonder if they can go after the sellers. The typical answer is you'd have to prove that they knew it was there and omitted that information, which is accurate. I think this is a little bit different. This wasn't an omission, but someone specifically stating a fact to be true that turned out not to be. That being said, real estate law can vary dramatically from state to state and you're talking about a lot of money. You should consult with a real estate attorney. Be sure to take any information you have about how the house was advertised with regards to being on city sewer. | If you need to prove what previous owners knew, you could try contacting local septic businesses ( there usually aren't many in an area) and see if there is a service history for the property. We get our tank pumped out every 3-5 years. If they knew they had it, they probably had service done at some point. | 0 | 951 | 74.666667 |
bcdxbm | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Edit to include that we are located in the US | ekqavzm | ekpss78 | 1,555,088,788 | 1,555,077,879 | 39 | 6 | So, what you're saying is that the previous owners flat out lied to you when you bought the house. You paid a certain amount of money for that house assuming that it didn't have a septic tank. And only now have you discovered it was a lie? | ---
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Author: /u/babycheetahface
Title: **Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property**
Original Post:
> This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. > My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. > Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
---
LocationBot 4.6319918 & 17/64ths | Report Issues | 1 | 10,909 | 6.5 |
bcdxbm | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Edit to include that we are located in the US | ekqavzm | ekq8z3n | 1,555,088,788 | 1,555,087,712 | 39 | 6 | So, what you're saying is that the previous owners flat out lied to you when you bought the house. You paid a certain amount of money for that house assuming that it didn't have a septic tank. And only now have you discovered it was a lie? | So usually the way this type of post goes is someone discovers an abandoned septic tank in the yard and wonder if they can go after the sellers. The typical answer is you'd have to prove that they knew it was there and omitted that information, which is accurate. I think this is a little bit different. This wasn't an omission, but someone specifically stating a fact to be true that turned out not to be. That being said, real estate law can vary dramatically from state to state and you're talking about a lot of money. You should consult with a real estate attorney. Be sure to take any information you have about how the house was advertised with regards to being on city sewer. | 1 | 1,076 | 6.5 |
bcdxbm | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Edit to include that we are located in the US | ekpss78 | ekqhpvs | 1,555,077,879 | 1,555,092,598 | 6 | 28 | ---
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Author: /u/babycheetahface
Title: **Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property**
Original Post:
> This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. > My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. > Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
---
LocationBot 4.6319918 & 17/64ths | Report Issues | I'm surprised I've not seen this question asked yet, but what did your home inspection show? I've purchased and sold 4 houses in the last 15 years, and it's been common practice in every instance to have a pre-purchase inspection done, all of which included having the sewer scoped from the house to the connection at city-owned sanitary lines. I would think that inspection would have clearly showed this issue. Also, and this might be important, did the previous owners have a pre-listing inspection done? I've had this done on my last two houses I've sold so I knew exactly what the issues were and so we could accurately list any issues in the documentation. If something were amiss and we had an issue later, we could also point to the pre-listing inspection as evidence of the condition. It might be harder to get a hold of that, if it exists, but it this led to a court case it could be subpoenaed potentially. That would depend on if the inspector was still in business and kept records (9 years might be too far out). | 0 | 14,719 | 4.666667 |
bcdxbm | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Edit to include that we are located in the US | ekq8z3n | ekqhpvs | 1,555,087,712 | 1,555,092,598 | 6 | 28 | So usually the way this type of post goes is someone discovers an abandoned septic tank in the yard and wonder if they can go after the sellers. The typical answer is you'd have to prove that they knew it was there and omitted that information, which is accurate. I think this is a little bit different. This wasn't an omission, but someone specifically stating a fact to be true that turned out not to be. That being said, real estate law can vary dramatically from state to state and you're talking about a lot of money. You should consult with a real estate attorney. Be sure to take any information you have about how the house was advertised with regards to being on city sewer. | I'm surprised I've not seen this question asked yet, but what did your home inspection show? I've purchased and sold 4 houses in the last 15 years, and it's been common practice in every instance to have a pre-purchase inspection done, all of which included having the sewer scoped from the house to the connection at city-owned sanitary lines. I would think that inspection would have clearly showed this issue. Also, and this might be important, did the previous owners have a pre-listing inspection done? I've had this done on my last two houses I've sold so I knew exactly what the issues were and so we could accurately list any issues in the documentation. If something were amiss and we had an issue later, we could also point to the pre-listing inspection as evidence of the condition. It might be harder to get a hold of that, if it exists, but it this led to a court case it could be subpoenaed potentially. That would depend on if the inspector was still in business and kept records (9 years might be too far out). | 0 | 4,886 | 4.666667 |
bcdxbm | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Edit to include that we are located in the US | ekpss78 | ekqu9gq | 1,555,077,879 | 1,555,099,704 | 6 | 10 | ---
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Author: /u/babycheetahface
Title: **Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property**
Original Post:
> This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. > My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. > Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
---
LocationBot 4.6319918 & 17/64ths | Report Issues | I see the estimate here for upwards of $25K to "fix" as well as advice to call a local septic business. I'd advise to call them for practical reasons in addition to researching previous maintenance. A honey dipper/septic truck can come out and drain it, at least partially for around $200. This might mitigate any backup temporarily. Septics are supposed to have operating pumps. If yours is having an issue, that same person who cleans it out can also give you a repair quote. All of this is of course a temporary solution, but may help keep your home habitable until you can: A.) Get hooked up to city sewer B.) Pursue legal action at the advice of your lawyer C.) A call to the city or sewer division might be advisable, but if you fear any fines, wait to see what a lawyer says first. Edit: I say this as a commercial property manager in a rural area. My septic is large, but it gets a lot of use with 40 office/warehouse units. I have a local septic truck clean the tank at least quarterly and the price I pay is around $200 each time. The thing is old, and we're going to tie into city sewer soon ourselves, but we do get the pumps regularly maintenanced to keep everything running until that happens. | 0 | 21,825 | 1.666667 |
bcdxbm | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Found a surprise illegal septic tank on our property This is my first ever post on Reddit so be kind. I'm very lost and overwhelmed in this situation hence my outreach to strangers on the internet. My husband and I have been in our house for 9 years. One of the selling points when we bought it was that we were on city sewer but we were only charged county taxes. This was very important to me as I have dealt with septic tank issues in the past. Recently we have had some plumbing issues but it all came to a head when we thought we had a busted sewer line. When the plumbers came out to dig and replace the sewer line, they revealed that not only were we not on city sewer but we had been operating on a septic tank that was long past its "expiration date" so to speak. I have so many questions. Is our house contract still legal since it falsely claims repeatedly that we're on sewer? How responsible are the people who sold us the house (they are both real estate agents)? Is this a municipality issue? Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Edit to include that we are located in the US | ekq8z3n | ekqu9gq | 1,555,087,712 | 1,555,099,704 | 6 | 10 | So usually the way this type of post goes is someone discovers an abandoned septic tank in the yard and wonder if they can go after the sellers. The typical answer is you'd have to prove that they knew it was there and omitted that information, which is accurate. I think this is a little bit different. This wasn't an omission, but someone specifically stating a fact to be true that turned out not to be. That being said, real estate law can vary dramatically from state to state and you're talking about a lot of money. You should consult with a real estate attorney. Be sure to take any information you have about how the house was advertised with regards to being on city sewer. | I see the estimate here for upwards of $25K to "fix" as well as advice to call a local septic business. I'd advise to call them for practical reasons in addition to researching previous maintenance. A honey dipper/septic truck can come out and drain it, at least partially for around $200. This might mitigate any backup temporarily. Septics are supposed to have operating pumps. If yours is having an issue, that same person who cleans it out can also give you a repair quote. All of this is of course a temporary solution, but may help keep your home habitable until you can: A.) Get hooked up to city sewer B.) Pursue legal action at the advice of your lawyer C.) A call to the city or sewer division might be advisable, but if you fear any fines, wait to see what a lawyer says first. Edit: I say this as a commercial property manager in a rural area. My septic is large, but it gets a lot of use with 40 office/warehouse units. I have a local septic truck clean the tank at least quarterly and the price I pay is around $200 each time. The thing is old, and we're going to tie into city sewer soon ourselves, but we do get the pumps regularly maintenanced to keep everything running until that happens. | 0 | 11,992 | 1.666667 |
yla0d9 | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | The post office is holding our mail and won’t let us get it. So, three weeks ago my girlfriend and I got home from a vacation and noticed that new mailboxes were mounted to the wall in front of each apartment. It’s a 2 story, 29 unit apartment complex. Initially there were two mail rooms with mailboxes in the wall where we got our laundry but tenants were leaving their junk mail lying around and our landlord got sick of it and removed the mailboxes (or at least covered them with wood panels). The thing is, she did so without approval from the post office and the post office refuses to deliver our mail because of safety concerns. Today, we went to the post office to get our mail and were told that they would not release our mail or any of the other tenants. We both have valid identification and showed them to the clerk and she said that the supervisor would not release our mail until the landlord put the old mailboxes back. Is this legal? I called the supervisor and they said it is but they couldn’t find proof. What can we do? | iuxt2x6 | iuxp7w6 | 1,667,506,133 | 1,667,504,681 | 654 | 109 | I would also call and ask to speak to the Post Master or set up an appointment to meet. This should get you a proper resolution. | Sounds like you should talk to your landlord since he's the cause of the problem. However I don't believe USPS can withhold your mail. Try this: https://www.uspsoig.gov/form/file-online-complaint | 1 | 1,452 | 6 |
dafoz1 | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | My friend's mother is kicking her younger sister out, and is threatening to call the cops on my friend for "kidnapping" if she lets her younger sister move in with her. My friend, "Sarah"'s abusive mother, "Margaret," has just told her younger sister, "Jordan," that she has 6 months to get out of the house. When Sarah offered to let Jordan move in with her, Margaret said that if she did so, she would call the cops on Sarah for "kidnapping" Jordan. Jordan is a minor but does not have long until she is 18. Unfortunately Margaret has Sarah's address, so she could call the cops and direct them to where Sarah lives if she chose. But how much would Margaret's claim hold up to the cops? It's Margaret's word against Sarah's and Jordan's--I suppose big complication here is that Jordan is still a minor. I'm thinking that if Jordan gets documentation somehow of Margaret kicking her out (video/audio, saved text messages, etc) that could be evidence against her "kidnapping" if it comes to that? But what else can be done in this situation to make sure Margaret isn't able to get Sarah arrested (or just make her and Jordan's lives miserable) for taking in her little sister? | f1pachc | f1pagkf | 1,569,676,199 | 1,569,676,275 | 31 | 140 | Will Jordan be 18 at the time her mother tells her to leave? | If she does call the cops, and if they show up, they would talk to Jordan, who would presumably say "Why no, I haven't been kidnapped, but thanks for your concern." That would very likely be the end of it. Sarah should not talk to the police. Edit: a word | 0 | 76 | 4.516129 |
dafoz1 | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | My friend's mother is kicking her younger sister out, and is threatening to call the cops on my friend for "kidnapping" if she lets her younger sister move in with her. My friend, "Sarah"'s abusive mother, "Margaret," has just told her younger sister, "Jordan," that she has 6 months to get out of the house. When Sarah offered to let Jordan move in with her, Margaret said that if she did so, she would call the cops on Sarah for "kidnapping" Jordan. Jordan is a minor but does not have long until she is 18. Unfortunately Margaret has Sarah's address, so she could call the cops and direct them to where Sarah lives if she chose. But how much would Margaret's claim hold up to the cops? It's Margaret's word against Sarah's and Jordan's--I suppose big complication here is that Jordan is still a minor. I'm thinking that if Jordan gets documentation somehow of Margaret kicking her out (video/audio, saved text messages, etc) that could be evidence against her "kidnapping" if it comes to that? But what else can be done in this situation to make sure Margaret isn't able to get Sarah arrested (or just make her and Jordan's lives miserable) for taking in her little sister? | f1pguyo | f1pachc | 1,569,680,166 | 1,569,676,199 | 38 | 31 | If she is kicked out of her house before she is 18 she should go to the police and let them know she's been illegally evicted from her home so her mother can't then make the claim she ran away. Her mother may also wind up in a bit of trouble for doing that. If she is over 18 and kicked out, she can go wherever she pleases and it wouldn't be considered kidnapping. | Will Jordan be 18 at the time her mother tells her to leave? | 1 | 3,967 | 1.225806 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3lyrs | ds3lvft | 1,514,931,895 | 1,514,931,797 | 2,359 | 4 | Yes, she can keep the baby. As long as she is capable of caring for the child. You need to tell the police. You will either go live with family or foster care. Edit: you cannot stop someone from telling the truth but it is unlikely the news will publish it | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
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7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3nwjm | ds3mrr9 | 1,514,934,037 | 1,514,932,772 | 979 | 457 | > If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? The child protective services will find a home for you. It might not be the best home, but it will almost certainly be better than living with a man who rapes you. > Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The hospital has no legal right to do so. The government can't take a baby away just because it was conceived in incest or because the mother is 14. Social services might be interested in her fitness to be a parent but they are more likely to offer her help than to try to take the baby. > Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us? No, but all reputable news media refrain from naming sexual assault victims, especially when they are minors. Since she is a minor your sister's name might even be redacted from the public copies of police reports and court records. | I'm so sorry this is happening to the two of you. First of all take a deep breath. I know this must be terrifying for you, but it will get better. You need to call CPS and the police and report what your father has been doing to both of you. They will take this very seriously and arrest your father. You and your sister will be put into foster care to start, but if you have family or friends willing to take you in CPS should allow you to move in with them after they make sure the new house is safe for you. Don't worry about the press. With both of you being minors the press will most likely leave your names out of any news stories they publish. Even if they do publish your name there are lots of ways to recover from that, including changing your name legally. If your sister can care for the baby they won't take it away from her. They won't take it away from her due to it being incest. They'll understand that this is your father's fault, not your sister's and all the trouble will be rightfully on him. That said, if your sister decides not to keep the baby and have an abortion or put it up for adoption she's free to change her mind and make that decision. | 1 | 1,265 | 2.142232 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3nwjm | ds3musb | 1,514,934,037 | 1,514,932,864 | 979 | 130 | > If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? The child protective services will find a home for you. It might not be the best home, but it will almost certainly be better than living with a man who rapes you. > Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The hospital has no legal right to do so. The government can't take a baby away just because it was conceived in incest or because the mother is 14. Social services might be interested in her fitness to be a parent but they are more likely to offer her help than to try to take the baby. > Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us? No, but all reputable news media refrain from naming sexual assault victims, especially when they are minors. Since she is a minor your sister's name might even be redacted from the public copies of police reports and court records. | There is a lot of support and advice that can be given to you well and far beyond that which is being given to contact the news media. That's horrible advice. The first step is to get you and your sister out of that abusive situation right now. Call the police. That's the first step. You pick up the phone and ask for help. And, in this situation, you need to ask the police for help. Please do so immediately. The rest... Well... you don't need to solve all of your problems and all your sisters problems in one go... in one sitting. Right now. You just need to take the first step and call the police. | 1 | 1,173 | 7.530769 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3nwjm | ds3mcbx | 1,514,934,037 | 1,514,932,304 | 979 | 123 | > If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? The child protective services will find a home for you. It might not be the best home, but it will almost certainly be better than living with a man who rapes you. > Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The hospital has no legal right to do so. The government can't take a baby away just because it was conceived in incest or because the mother is 14. Social services might be interested in her fitness to be a parent but they are more likely to offer her help than to try to take the baby. > Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us? No, but all reputable news media refrain from naming sexual assault victims, especially when they are minors. Since she is a minor your sister's name might even be redacted from the public copies of police reports and court records. | You cannot force the news to not report on things. Minors are generally kept out of the news. You need to call CPS and the police. Now. | 1 | 1,733 | 7.95935 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3mkki | ds3nwjm | 1,514,932,554 | 1,514,934,037 | 100 | 979 | Most TV stations have a policy about not identifying victims of sexual assault, and I can't imagine a station publicly naming a fourteen-year-old just because an adult not related to the child (your friend's mom) decided to go talk to them. Once you tell the police about what's going on, the social worker assigned can talk to the local news, but I really don't think you need to worry about that aspect. The hospital won't automatically take away the baby; social services will be involved. Depending on your sister's ability to care for the child, she may eventually lose custody, or she may be able to keep the baby permanently. Many states now have programs for teenage moms in foster care, offering special services and assistance. Do you have other family or friends who could take you, your sister, and the new arrival? | > If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? The child protective services will find a home for you. It might not be the best home, but it will almost certainly be better than living with a man who rapes you. > Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The hospital has no legal right to do so. The government can't take a baby away just because it was conceived in incest or because the mother is 14. Social services might be interested in her fitness to be a parent but they are more likely to offer her help than to try to take the baby. > Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us? No, but all reputable news media refrain from naming sexual assault victims, especially when they are minors. Since she is a minor your sister's name might even be redacted from the public copies of police reports and court records. | 0 | 1,483 | 9.79 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3lvft | ds3nwjm | 1,514,931,797 | 1,514,934,037 | 4 | 979 | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
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LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues | > If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? The child protective services will find a home for you. It might not be the best home, but it will almost certainly be better than living with a man who rapes you. > Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The hospital has no legal right to do so. The government can't take a baby away just because it was conceived in incest or because the mother is 14. Social services might be interested in her fitness to be a parent but they are more likely to offer her help than to try to take the baby. > Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us? No, but all reputable news media refrain from naming sexual assault victims, especially when they are minors. Since she is a minor your sister's name might even be redacted from the public copies of police reports and court records. | 0 | 2,240 | 244.75 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3mcbx | ds3mrr9 | 1,514,932,304 | 1,514,932,772 | 123 | 457 | You cannot force the news to not report on things. Minors are generally kept out of the news. You need to call CPS and the police. Now. | I'm so sorry this is happening to the two of you. First of all take a deep breath. I know this must be terrifying for you, but it will get better. You need to call CPS and the police and report what your father has been doing to both of you. They will take this very seriously and arrest your father. You and your sister will be put into foster care to start, but if you have family or friends willing to take you in CPS should allow you to move in with them after they make sure the new house is safe for you. Don't worry about the press. With both of you being minors the press will most likely leave your names out of any news stories they publish. Even if they do publish your name there are lots of ways to recover from that, including changing your name legally. If your sister can care for the baby they won't take it away from her. They won't take it away from her due to it being incest. They'll understand that this is your father's fault, not your sister's and all the trouble will be rightfully on him. That said, if your sister decides not to keep the baby and have an abortion or put it up for adoption she's free to change her mind and make that decision. | 0 | 468 | 3.715447 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3mrr9 | ds3mkki | 1,514,932,772 | 1,514,932,554 | 457 | 100 | I'm so sorry this is happening to the two of you. First of all take a deep breath. I know this must be terrifying for you, but it will get better. You need to call CPS and the police and report what your father has been doing to both of you. They will take this very seriously and arrest your father. You and your sister will be put into foster care to start, but if you have family or friends willing to take you in CPS should allow you to move in with them after they make sure the new house is safe for you. Don't worry about the press. With both of you being minors the press will most likely leave your names out of any news stories they publish. Even if they do publish your name there are lots of ways to recover from that, including changing your name legally. If your sister can care for the baby they won't take it away from her. They won't take it away from her due to it being incest. They'll understand that this is your father's fault, not your sister's and all the trouble will be rightfully on him. That said, if your sister decides not to keep the baby and have an abortion or put it up for adoption she's free to change her mind and make that decision. | Most TV stations have a policy about not identifying victims of sexual assault, and I can't imagine a station publicly naming a fourteen-year-old just because an adult not related to the child (your friend's mom) decided to go talk to them. Once you tell the police about what's going on, the social worker assigned can talk to the local news, but I really don't think you need to worry about that aspect. The hospital won't automatically take away the baby; social services will be involved. Depending on your sister's ability to care for the child, she may eventually lose custody, or she may be able to keep the baby permanently. Many states now have programs for teenage moms in foster care, offering special services and assistance. Do you have other family or friends who could take you, your sister, and the new arrival? | 1 | 218 | 4.57 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3lvft | ds3mrr9 | 1,514,931,797 | 1,514,932,772 | 4 | 457 | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
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LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues | I'm so sorry this is happening to the two of you. First of all take a deep breath. I know this must be terrifying for you, but it will get better. You need to call CPS and the police and report what your father has been doing to both of you. They will take this very seriously and arrest your father. You and your sister will be put into foster care to start, but if you have family or friends willing to take you in CPS should allow you to move in with them after they make sure the new house is safe for you. Don't worry about the press. With both of you being minors the press will most likely leave your names out of any news stories they publish. Even if they do publish your name there are lots of ways to recover from that, including changing your name legally. If your sister can care for the baby they won't take it away from her. They won't take it away from her due to it being incest. They'll understand that this is your father's fault, not your sister's and all the trouble will be rightfully on him. That said, if your sister decides not to keep the baby and have an abortion or put it up for adoption she's free to change her mind and make that decision. | 0 | 975 | 114.25 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3musb | ds3mcbx | 1,514,932,864 | 1,514,932,304 | 130 | 123 | There is a lot of support and advice that can be given to you well and far beyond that which is being given to contact the news media. That's horrible advice. The first step is to get you and your sister out of that abusive situation right now. Call the police. That's the first step. You pick up the phone and ask for help. And, in this situation, you need to ask the police for help. Please do so immediately. The rest... Well... you don't need to solve all of your problems and all your sisters problems in one go... in one sitting. Right now. You just need to take the first step and call the police. | You cannot force the news to not report on things. Minors are generally kept out of the news. You need to call CPS and the police. Now. | 1 | 560 | 1.056911 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3mkki | ds3musb | 1,514,932,554 | 1,514,932,864 | 100 | 130 | Most TV stations have a policy about not identifying victims of sexual assault, and I can't imagine a station publicly naming a fourteen-year-old just because an adult not related to the child (your friend's mom) decided to go talk to them. Once you tell the police about what's going on, the social worker assigned can talk to the local news, but I really don't think you need to worry about that aspect. The hospital won't automatically take away the baby; social services will be involved. Depending on your sister's ability to care for the child, she may eventually lose custody, or she may be able to keep the baby permanently. Many states now have programs for teenage moms in foster care, offering special services and assistance. Do you have other family or friends who could take you, your sister, and the new arrival? | There is a lot of support and advice that can be given to you well and far beyond that which is being given to contact the news media. That's horrible advice. The first step is to get you and your sister out of that abusive situation right now. Call the police. That's the first step. You pick up the phone and ask for help. And, in this situation, you need to ask the police for help. Please do so immediately. The rest... Well... you don't need to solve all of your problems and all your sisters problems in one go... in one sitting. Right now. You just need to take the first step and call the police. | 0 | 310 | 1.3 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3musb | ds3lvft | 1,514,932,864 | 1,514,931,797 | 130 | 4 | There is a lot of support and advice that can be given to you well and far beyond that which is being given to contact the news media. That's horrible advice. The first step is to get you and your sister out of that abusive situation right now. Call the police. That's the first step. You pick up the phone and ask for help. And, in this situation, you need to ask the police for help. Please do so immediately. The rest... Well... you don't need to solve all of your problems and all your sisters problems in one go... in one sitting. Right now. You just need to take the first step and call the police. | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
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LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues | 1 | 1,067 | 32.5 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3lvft | ds3mcbx | 1,514,931,797 | 1,514,932,304 | 4 | 123 | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
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LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues | You cannot force the news to not report on things. Minors are generally kept out of the news. You need to call CPS and the police. Now. | 0 | 507 | 30.75 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds449in | ds3mkki | 1,514,953,098 | 1,514,932,554 | 108 | 100 | I feel like I need to point out, that no matter if you say something or not, CPS will get involved. The moment your sister goes to the doctor, they have to tell CPS because of her age. In any jurisdiction, sex at 14 is rape, so they would be very interested. So unless your sister decides to not go to the doctor and give birth at home, and never tell the government about the baby, they will find out. Your best bet is to go ahead and tell them yourself, so you have some control. Also, the news station will never air a story without confirmation. Especially about something like this. They probably get dozens of “leads” a day. Now if he gets arrested, that’s a different story. Because of the nature of the crime, it’s more likely to be put in the papers or on the news. | Most TV stations have a policy about not identifying victims of sexual assault, and I can't imagine a station publicly naming a fourteen-year-old just because an adult not related to the child (your friend's mom) decided to go talk to them. Once you tell the police about what's going on, the social worker assigned can talk to the local news, but I really don't think you need to worry about that aspect. The hospital won't automatically take away the baby; social services will be involved. Depending on your sister's ability to care for the child, she may eventually lose custody, or she may be able to keep the baby permanently. Many states now have programs for teenage moms in foster care, offering special services and assistance. Do you have other family or friends who could take you, your sister, and the new arrival? | 1 | 20,544 | 1.08 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3xxad | ds449in | 1,514,945,490 | 1,514,953,098 | 40 | 108 | Most news outlets with any ethics at all will not report your sister's story in a way that allows her to be identified, if they report it at all. But the news is not the answer here; the police and Child Protective Services are. Call them. The police will take your dad out of the picture, and CPS will find a new home for you and your siblings. They will try to keep you together, in the same area, and if possible living with relatives or friends you already know. Things will be chaotic for a while—you'll probably stay with foster parents to begin with—but they will get better. CPS will help your sister take care of her baby, and won't take it away unless she can't. Nobody will take it simply because she's a teenager or it's the product of incest and rape. Everyone involved will understand that it's not your sister's fault this happened, and that if they can make it work, the best place for her baby is with its mother. Call the police. Just pick up the phone, dial 911, and tell them that you're reporting a crime. If you don't think you can safely contact the authorities, tell a teacher or your sister's doctor—they are required to report sex crimes against children. If you're nervous about involving the authorities immediately, call the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) hotline at 800-656-HOPE. They have 25 affiliate centers throughout Colorado, so they probably have someone near you who can help. There are thousands of people whose job is to help people like you and your sister. All you need to do is ask. Good luck. I'm rooting for you. | I feel like I need to point out, that no matter if you say something or not, CPS will get involved. The moment your sister goes to the doctor, they have to tell CPS because of her age. In any jurisdiction, sex at 14 is rape, so they would be very interested. So unless your sister decides to not go to the doctor and give birth at home, and never tell the government about the baby, they will find out. Your best bet is to go ahead and tell them yourself, so you have some control. Also, the news station will never air a story without confirmation. Especially about something like this. They probably get dozens of “leads” a day. Now if he gets arrested, that’s a different story. Because of the nature of the crime, it’s more likely to be put in the papers or on the news. | 0 | 7,608 | 2.7 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds43xxt | ds449in | 1,514,952,693 | 1,514,953,098 | 12 | 108 | If you're afraid of calling the police speak to a school counselor and they'll help. I'm rooting for you and your sister. No kid should have to go what you're going through. | I feel like I need to point out, that no matter if you say something or not, CPS will get involved. The moment your sister goes to the doctor, they have to tell CPS because of her age. In any jurisdiction, sex at 14 is rape, so they would be very interested. So unless your sister decides to not go to the doctor and give birth at home, and never tell the government about the baby, they will find out. Your best bet is to go ahead and tell them yourself, so you have some control. Also, the news station will never air a story without confirmation. Especially about something like this. They probably get dozens of “leads” a day. Now if he gets arrested, that’s a different story. Because of the nature of the crime, it’s more likely to be put in the papers or on the news. | 0 | 405 | 9 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3x33l | ds449in | 1,514,944,529 | 1,514,953,098 | 10 | 108 | As others have said you need to report this to the police, so that you can both be protected. I know that you've tried talking to your friends mom about going to the news, but have your tried explaining how it would re victimize you guys all over again? Pimping out your story for the news forces you to relive the abuse in a space that is not safe. Unfortunately you cannot stop her from going to the news on her own, nor can you threaten legal action as she is reporting is true story. I know that the potential for going into foster care is terrifying but please do not let that stop you from reporting your father. It sounds like you guys do not have another safe space to run to when things go bad. As sucky as foster care can be it is miles better than being raped by your father. If you have any concerns you can speak with your caseworker. They should be able to answer your questions about the process. If things go sideways you can try to become your sisters guardian when you turn 18. When CPS gets involved try asking them about therapy. You will both need all the help you can get. If you go into the system the state may provide you with mental health services at no charge. Not all states/areas do this but it is worth asking about. | I feel like I need to point out, that no matter if you say something or not, CPS will get involved. The moment your sister goes to the doctor, they have to tell CPS because of her age. In any jurisdiction, sex at 14 is rape, so they would be very interested. So unless your sister decides to not go to the doctor and give birth at home, and never tell the government about the baby, they will find out. Your best bet is to go ahead and tell them yourself, so you have some control. Also, the news station will never air a story without confirmation. Especially about something like this. They probably get dozens of “leads” a day. Now if he gets arrested, that’s a different story. Because of the nature of the crime, it’s more likely to be put in the papers or on the news. | 0 | 8,569 | 10.8 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3lvft | ds449in | 1,514,931,797 | 1,514,953,098 | 4 | 108 | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
---
LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues | I feel like I need to point out, that no matter if you say something or not, CPS will get involved. The moment your sister goes to the doctor, they have to tell CPS because of her age. In any jurisdiction, sex at 14 is rape, so they would be very interested. So unless your sister decides to not go to the doctor and give birth at home, and never tell the government about the baby, they will find out. Your best bet is to go ahead and tell them yourself, so you have some control. Also, the news station will never air a story without confirmation. Especially about something like this. They probably get dozens of “leads” a day. Now if he gets arrested, that’s a different story. Because of the nature of the crime, it’s more likely to be put in the papers or on the news. | 0 | 21,301 | 27 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds44sjg | ds3mkki | 1,514,953,786 | 1,514,932,554 | 105 | 100 | On a personal note: please for the love of everything take some drastic action here. Let's say mom keeps the baby. Get a name change ASAP and bury this before the kid gets get old enough to know what's up. Don't ever let them know the circumstances of their own conception. They can live their entire life never knowing their origin and be better for it. Stop telling people about it, for the sake of the kid. Their future mental health takes precedence over publicly shaming some asshole rapist. | Most TV stations have a policy about not identifying victims of sexual assault, and I can't imagine a station publicly naming a fourteen-year-old just because an adult not related to the child (your friend's mom) decided to go talk to them. Once you tell the police about what's going on, the social worker assigned can talk to the local news, but I really don't think you need to worry about that aspect. The hospital won't automatically take away the baby; social services will be involved. Depending on your sister's ability to care for the child, she may eventually lose custody, or she may be able to keep the baby permanently. Many states now have programs for teenage moms in foster care, offering special services and assistance. Do you have other family or friends who could take you, your sister, and the new arrival? | 1 | 21,232 | 1.05 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds44sjg | ds3xxad | 1,514,953,786 | 1,514,945,490 | 105 | 40 | On a personal note: please for the love of everything take some drastic action here. Let's say mom keeps the baby. Get a name change ASAP and bury this before the kid gets get old enough to know what's up. Don't ever let them know the circumstances of their own conception. They can live their entire life never knowing their origin and be better for it. Stop telling people about it, for the sake of the kid. Their future mental health takes precedence over publicly shaming some asshole rapist. | Most news outlets with any ethics at all will not report your sister's story in a way that allows her to be identified, if they report it at all. But the news is not the answer here; the police and Child Protective Services are. Call them. The police will take your dad out of the picture, and CPS will find a new home for you and your siblings. They will try to keep you together, in the same area, and if possible living with relatives or friends you already know. Things will be chaotic for a while—you'll probably stay with foster parents to begin with—but they will get better. CPS will help your sister take care of her baby, and won't take it away unless she can't. Nobody will take it simply because she's a teenager or it's the product of incest and rape. Everyone involved will understand that it's not your sister's fault this happened, and that if they can make it work, the best place for her baby is with its mother. Call the police. Just pick up the phone, dial 911, and tell them that you're reporting a crime. If you don't think you can safely contact the authorities, tell a teacher or your sister's doctor—they are required to report sex crimes against children. If you're nervous about involving the authorities immediately, call the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) hotline at 800-656-HOPE. They have 25 affiliate centers throughout Colorado, so they probably have someone near you who can help. There are thousands of people whose job is to help people like you and your sister. All you need to do is ask. Good luck. I'm rooting for you. | 1 | 8,296 | 2.625 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds43xxt | ds44sjg | 1,514,952,693 | 1,514,953,786 | 12 | 105 | If you're afraid of calling the police speak to a school counselor and they'll help. I'm rooting for you and your sister. No kid should have to go what you're going through. | On a personal note: please for the love of everything take some drastic action here. Let's say mom keeps the baby. Get a name change ASAP and bury this before the kid gets get old enough to know what's up. Don't ever let them know the circumstances of their own conception. They can live their entire life never knowing their origin and be better for it. Stop telling people about it, for the sake of the kid. Their future mental health takes precedence over publicly shaming some asshole rapist. | 0 | 1,093 | 8.75 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds44sjg | ds3x33l | 1,514,953,786 | 1,514,944,529 | 105 | 10 | On a personal note: please for the love of everything take some drastic action here. Let's say mom keeps the baby. Get a name change ASAP and bury this before the kid gets get old enough to know what's up. Don't ever let them know the circumstances of their own conception. They can live their entire life never knowing their origin and be better for it. Stop telling people about it, for the sake of the kid. Their future mental health takes precedence over publicly shaming some asshole rapist. | As others have said you need to report this to the police, so that you can both be protected. I know that you've tried talking to your friends mom about going to the news, but have your tried explaining how it would re victimize you guys all over again? Pimping out your story for the news forces you to relive the abuse in a space that is not safe. Unfortunately you cannot stop her from going to the news on her own, nor can you threaten legal action as she is reporting is true story. I know that the potential for going into foster care is terrifying but please do not let that stop you from reporting your father. It sounds like you guys do not have another safe space to run to when things go bad. As sucky as foster care can be it is miles better than being raped by your father. If you have any concerns you can speak with your caseworker. They should be able to answer your questions about the process. If things go sideways you can try to become your sisters guardian when you turn 18. When CPS gets involved try asking them about therapy. You will both need all the help you can get. If you go into the system the state may provide you with mental health services at no charge. Not all states/areas do this but it is worth asking about. | 1 | 9,257 | 10.5 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds44sjg | ds3lvft | 1,514,953,786 | 1,514,931,797 | 105 | 4 | On a personal note: please for the love of everything take some drastic action here. Let's say mom keeps the baby. Get a name change ASAP and bury this before the kid gets get old enough to know what's up. Don't ever let them know the circumstances of their own conception. They can live their entire life never knowing their origin and be better for it. Stop telling people about it, for the sake of the kid. Their future mental health takes precedence over publicly shaming some asshole rapist. | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
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7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3mkki | ds3lvft | 1,514,932,554 | 1,514,931,797 | 100 | 4 | Most TV stations have a policy about not identifying victims of sexual assault, and I can't imagine a station publicly naming a fourteen-year-old just because an adult not related to the child (your friend's mom) decided to go talk to them. Once you tell the police about what's going on, the social worker assigned can talk to the local news, but I really don't think you need to worry about that aspect. The hospital won't automatically take away the baby; social services will be involved. Depending on your sister's ability to care for the child, she may eventually lose custody, or she may be able to keep the baby permanently. Many states now have programs for teenage moms in foster care, offering special services and assistance. Do you have other family or friends who could take you, your sister, and the new arrival? | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
---
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7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3x33l | ds3xxad | 1,514,944,529 | 1,514,945,490 | 10 | 40 | As others have said you need to report this to the police, so that you can both be protected. I know that you've tried talking to your friends mom about going to the news, but have your tried explaining how it would re victimize you guys all over again? Pimping out your story for the news forces you to relive the abuse in a space that is not safe. Unfortunately you cannot stop her from going to the news on her own, nor can you threaten legal action as she is reporting is true story. I know that the potential for going into foster care is terrifying but please do not let that stop you from reporting your father. It sounds like you guys do not have another safe space to run to when things go bad. As sucky as foster care can be it is miles better than being raped by your father. If you have any concerns you can speak with your caseworker. They should be able to answer your questions about the process. If things go sideways you can try to become your sisters guardian when you turn 18. When CPS gets involved try asking them about therapy. You will both need all the help you can get. If you go into the system the state may provide you with mental health services at no charge. Not all states/areas do this but it is worth asking about. | Most news outlets with any ethics at all will not report your sister's story in a way that allows her to be identified, if they report it at all. But the news is not the answer here; the police and Child Protective Services are. Call them. The police will take your dad out of the picture, and CPS will find a new home for you and your siblings. They will try to keep you together, in the same area, and if possible living with relatives or friends you already know. Things will be chaotic for a while—you'll probably stay with foster parents to begin with—but they will get better. CPS will help your sister take care of her baby, and won't take it away unless she can't. Nobody will take it simply because she's a teenager or it's the product of incest and rape. Everyone involved will understand that it's not your sister's fault this happened, and that if they can make it work, the best place for her baby is with its mother. Call the police. Just pick up the phone, dial 911, and tell them that you're reporting a crime. If you don't think you can safely contact the authorities, tell a teacher or your sister's doctor—they are required to report sex crimes against children. If you're nervous about involving the authorities immediately, call the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) hotline at 800-656-HOPE. They have 25 affiliate centers throughout Colorado, so they probably have someone near you who can help. There are thousands of people whose job is to help people like you and your sister. All you need to do is ask. Good luck. I'm rooting for you. | 0 | 961 | 4 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3xxad | ds3lvft | 1,514,945,490 | 1,514,931,797 | 40 | 4 | Most news outlets with any ethics at all will not report your sister's story in a way that allows her to be identified, if they report it at all. But the news is not the answer here; the police and Child Protective Services are. Call them. The police will take your dad out of the picture, and CPS will find a new home for you and your siblings. They will try to keep you together, in the same area, and if possible living with relatives or friends you already know. Things will be chaotic for a while—you'll probably stay with foster parents to begin with—but they will get better. CPS will help your sister take care of her baby, and won't take it away unless she can't. Nobody will take it simply because she's a teenager or it's the product of incest and rape. Everyone involved will understand that it's not your sister's fault this happened, and that if they can make it work, the best place for her baby is with its mother. Call the police. Just pick up the phone, dial 911, and tell them that you're reporting a crime. If you don't think you can safely contact the authorities, tell a teacher or your sister's doctor—they are required to report sex crimes against children. If you're nervous about involving the authorities immediately, call the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) hotline at 800-656-HOPE. They have 25 affiliate centers throughout Colorado, so they probably have someone near you who can help. There are thousands of people whose job is to help people like you and your sister. All you need to do is ask. Good luck. I'm rooting for you. | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
---
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7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds43xxt | ds3x33l | 1,514,952,693 | 1,514,944,529 | 12 | 10 | If you're afraid of calling the police speak to a school counselor and they'll help. I'm rooting for you and your sister. No kid should have to go what you're going through. | As others have said you need to report this to the police, so that you can both be protected. I know that you've tried talking to your friends mom about going to the news, but have your tried explaining how it would re victimize you guys all over again? Pimping out your story for the news forces you to relive the abuse in a space that is not safe. Unfortunately you cannot stop her from going to the news on her own, nor can you threaten legal action as she is reporting is true story. I know that the potential for going into foster care is terrifying but please do not let that stop you from reporting your father. It sounds like you guys do not have another safe space to run to when things go bad. As sucky as foster care can be it is miles better than being raped by your father. If you have any concerns you can speak with your caseworker. They should be able to answer your questions about the process. If things go sideways you can try to become your sisters guardian when you turn 18. When CPS gets involved try asking them about therapy. You will both need all the help you can get. If you go into the system the state may provide you with mental health services at no charge. Not all states/areas do this but it is worth asking about. | 1 | 8,164 | 1.2 |
7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds43xxt | ds3lvft | 1,514,952,693 | 1,514,931,797 | 12 | 4 | If you're afraid of calling the police speak to a school counselor and they'll help. I'm rooting for you and your sister. No kid should have to go what you're going through. | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
---
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7npxzn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news? State is CO. My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? | ds3lvft | ds3x33l | 1,514,931,797 | 1,514,944,529 | 4 | 10 | ---
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Author: /u/kiwimelongurl
Title: **Father got my sister (14) pregnant and friend's mom wants to go to the news about it. Can my sister keep the baby, will we get taken away from him, and how do we keep our identities out of the news?**
Original Post:
> My sister (14) is pregnant and wouldn't tell me who the father is. We have not told our father at all. She finally broke down and told me our father has been raping her for the last four years. I absolutely believe her because it was happening to me to. Our parents divorced when I (17) was three years old and we haven't seen my mom at all. We were always told she was deep into drugs, but my father is really manipulating so I'm wondering if that's true now. > > We are wondering what happens if she admits to the doctor that our father is the father of he child. I'm assuming they can DNA test it to prove eventually. If he goes to jail as our only caregiver, what happens to us? I know he's a piece of shit but I don't know where else we can go?? > > Also, can she keep the baby? She really wants to right now but I can't imagine that is healthy and I don't know how she would take care of it with our father in jail. Will the hospital take it away because it's incest? > > The other part of this legal question is about the news. I made the mistake of confiding the whole thing to a friend, who told her mom. Her mom won't stop contacting me that she's going to the news because "the community needs to know what he did to you guys." > > Neither of us have any desire for this to get in the news. I feel like if we get identified it will just further ruin our lives. I've told her this so many times but she keeps pushing me to do an interview with the local news. I've never liked her, I think she's crazy and manipulative too and just wants to be in the spotlight for a few minutes of fame for being our "rescuer". > > How do I make her stop legally? Can I legally force the local news to not do a piece on us???? > >
---
LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues | As others have said you need to report this to the police, so that you can both be protected. I know that you've tried talking to your friends mom about going to the news, but have your tried explaining how it would re victimize you guys all over again? Pimping out your story for the news forces you to relive the abuse in a space that is not safe. Unfortunately you cannot stop her from going to the news on her own, nor can you threaten legal action as she is reporting is true story. I know that the potential for going into foster care is terrifying but please do not let that stop you from reporting your father. It sounds like you guys do not have another safe space to run to when things go bad. As sucky as foster care can be it is miles better than being raped by your father. If you have any concerns you can speak with your caseworker. They should be able to answer your questions about the process. If things go sideways you can try to become your sisters guardian when you turn 18. When CPS gets involved try asking them about therapy. You will both need all the help you can get. If you go into the system the state may provide you with mental health services at no charge. Not all states/areas do this but it is worth asking about. | 0 | 12,732 | 2.5 |
6pgkcz | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | South Carolina - My sister is 18 and wants to move out of her dad's house- how do we get her in school? My sister's dad has had custody of her for her entire life, with my mom only having visitation. My sister just turned 18 and has a year of school left. She has moved out of her dad's house and is now living with our mother. We took her to her old school today to withdraw her and get her records sent to the school in our district, but the guidance counselor told us that since she's still in school, the custody agreement is still in place which means she can't withdraw herself or transfer herself, 18 or no. Her dad's cooperation is not an option. Are we going to have to go through the emancipation process with her? | dkpe34c | dkp4n8d | 1,501,004,763 | 1,500,994,964 | 17 | 11 | There is no "custody" or "visitation" of an 18 year old, even if still in high school*. That portion of the order is no longer applicable. Neither parent can compel your sister to live anywhere or visit anyone. However, if your mom is court ordered to pay child support to dad, she has to go through the court to get it stopped and to ask him to pay child support to her. He will not get to argue where ~~the child~~ your sister lives. The judge will just input the money values in the appropriate child support worksheet, and it will determine what dad should pay to mom for your sister's support. EDIT: I meant to add---your sister needs to escalate, as the guidance counselor is absolutely wring. Keep going up the chain. EDIT 2*: unless the 18 year old is incapacitated or otherwise unable to care for himself/herself physically. | Perhaps the problem is that you, who have no standing as her guardian, are attempting to act as guardian and performing these tasks for her... Like if I were to ask to transfer her to another school. Maybe she needs to do this on her own, and go into the school and say: I need MY records now, please. | 1 | 9,799 | 1.545455 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il4j6ua | il4irve | 1,661,036,794 | 1,661,036,600 | 2,935 | 349 | Oh yeah, there is no way painting and cleaning total 11k. Demand an itemized bill WITH receipts and remember they must have that to you within 21 days along with the remainder of your security deposit. Your deposit was for any damages you did while living there. They don’t get to renovate on your dime. | Yeah, they can't charge for that stuff, nor for painting. When did you receive all this, how many days after you surrendered or lease ended? | 1 | 194 | 8.409742 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il536vp | il527up | 1,661,046,470 | 1,661,045,992 | 204 | 124 | There is something in California called the “useful life” clause that you can find in the tenants’ rights handbook and it explicitly states even IF you cause damage you do not owe the landlord a brand new replacement. What you owe is based on the remaining useful life of the object which varies according to the product. Carpet is 7-10 years, blinds are 2-5 depending on materials, etc. In general you can request initial receipts and then pay a prorated rate of what is left. If they paid $1000 for carpet and your pet stains damaged it in year 8, you would owe $200 for the remaining useful life of a 10 year product. | Sounds like you're military? Go to your base legal office. They can represent your interests in this matter. | 1 | 478 | 1.645161 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il536vp | il4je7n | 1,661,046,470 | 1,661,036,889 | 204 | 77 | There is something in California called the “useful life” clause that you can find in the tenants’ rights handbook and it explicitly states even IF you cause damage you do not owe the landlord a brand new replacement. What you owe is based on the remaining useful life of the object which varies according to the product. Carpet is 7-10 years, blinds are 2-5 depending on materials, etc. In general you can request initial receipts and then pay a prorated rate of what is left. If they paid $1000 for carpet and your pet stains damaged it in year 8, you would owe $200 for the remaining useful life of a 10 year product. | Do you have photos or video evidence of the condition of the place on move-in and on move-out? It will be crucial in proving that you didn't damage the unit. They can't just charge for repainting or carpet shampooing unless you did actual damage that required it. | 1 | 9,581 | 2.649351 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il536vp | il4x3rf | 1,661,046,470 | 1,661,043,490 | 204 | 20 | There is something in California called the “useful life” clause that you can find in the tenants’ rights handbook and it explicitly states even IF you cause damage you do not owe the landlord a brand new replacement. What you owe is based on the remaining useful life of the object which varies according to the product. Carpet is 7-10 years, blinds are 2-5 depending on materials, etc. In general you can request initial receipts and then pay a prorated rate of what is left. If they paid $1000 for carpet and your pet stains damaged it in year 8, you would owe $200 for the remaining useful life of a 10 year product. | Did you paint the walls a different color that they had to change back? Landlords like to try to add this in, but unless you changed the paint and didn't repaint it back yourself, courts usually consider painting normal wear and tear and they aren't allowed to charge you for it. That is most likely the majority of what they are trying to charge you for. A full paint of every wall by a professional painter can run up to around $10k. But they are required by law to give an itemized list of every charge not just a bill. And if they don't most jurisdictions penalize by doubling or trebling the amount wrongfully withheld. | 1 | 2,980 | 10.2 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il4qifm | il536vp | 1,661,040,262 | 1,661,046,470 | 16 | 204 | There may be a local tenants union you can contact as well since California is sometimes city by city as to what’s allowed and what’s not. I rented in CA for six years, and this all sounds very illegal of them. They would have to take you to court anyway. Is there an EAP through your job you can talk to a local tenant lawyer just to confirm for the exact area you were in? I think, for example, the laws are different for Bakersfield versus San Francisco. | There is something in California called the “useful life” clause that you can find in the tenants’ rights handbook and it explicitly states even IF you cause damage you do not owe the landlord a brand new replacement. What you owe is based on the remaining useful life of the object which varies according to the product. Carpet is 7-10 years, blinds are 2-5 depending on materials, etc. In general you can request initial receipts and then pay a prorated rate of what is left. If they paid $1000 for carpet and your pet stains damaged it in year 8, you would owe $200 for the remaining useful life of a 10 year product. | 0 | 6,208 | 12.75 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il52h9b | il536vp | 1,661,046,120 | 1,661,046,470 | 15 | 204 | How long did you live in the unit? 2 years or more, can't charge for repaint and normal wear and tear. CA law. This is excessive. Take it to your legal/JAG office | There is something in California called the “useful life” clause that you can find in the tenants’ rights handbook and it explicitly states even IF you cause damage you do not owe the landlord a brand new replacement. What you owe is based on the remaining useful life of the object which varies according to the product. Carpet is 7-10 years, blinds are 2-5 depending on materials, etc. In general you can request initial receipts and then pay a prorated rate of what is left. If they paid $1000 for carpet and your pet stains damaged it in year 8, you would owe $200 for the remaining useful life of a 10 year product. | 0 | 350 | 13.6 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il527up | il4je7n | 1,661,045,992 | 1,661,036,889 | 124 | 77 | Sounds like you're military? Go to your base legal office. They can represent your interests in this matter. | Do you have photos or video evidence of the condition of the place on move-in and on move-out? It will be crucial in proving that you didn't damage the unit. They can't just charge for repainting or carpet shampooing unless you did actual damage that required it. | 1 | 9,103 | 1.61039 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il4x3rf | il527up | 1,661,043,490 | 1,661,045,992 | 20 | 124 | Did you paint the walls a different color that they had to change back? Landlords like to try to add this in, but unless you changed the paint and didn't repaint it back yourself, courts usually consider painting normal wear and tear and they aren't allowed to charge you for it. That is most likely the majority of what they are trying to charge you for. A full paint of every wall by a professional painter can run up to around $10k. But they are required by law to give an itemized list of every charge not just a bill. And if they don't most jurisdictions penalize by doubling or trebling the amount wrongfully withheld. | Sounds like you're military? Go to your base legal office. They can represent your interests in this matter. | 0 | 2,502 | 6.2 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il527up | il4qifm | 1,661,045,992 | 1,661,040,262 | 124 | 16 | Sounds like you're military? Go to your base legal office. They can represent your interests in this matter. | There may be a local tenants union you can contact as well since California is sometimes city by city as to what’s allowed and what’s not. I rented in CA for six years, and this all sounds very illegal of them. They would have to take you to court anyway. Is there an EAP through your job you can talk to a local tenant lawyer just to confirm for the exact area you were in? I think, for example, the laws are different for Bakersfield versus San Francisco. | 1 | 5,730 | 7.75 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il4x3rf | il5l81j | 1,661,043,490 | 1,661,055,743 | 20 | 50 | Did you paint the walls a different color that they had to change back? Landlords like to try to add this in, but unless you changed the paint and didn't repaint it back yourself, courts usually consider painting normal wear and tear and they aren't allowed to charge you for it. That is most likely the majority of what they are trying to charge you for. A full paint of every wall by a professional painter can run up to around $10k. But they are required by law to give an itemized list of every charge not just a bill. And if they don't most jurisdictions penalize by doubling or trebling the amount wrongfully withheld. | Not a lawyer, but I'm a landlord and I have a property in CA, sounds like they are trying to charge you for normal wear and tear, this sounds like some sketchy thing they do because every 20th tenant prob is ignorant of tenant laws and just pays it. There is no way you are liable for that much work unless you lied in your post and really wrecked the place. | 0 | 12,253 | 2.5 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il5iu9v | il5l81j | 1,661,054,435 | 1,661,055,743 | 21 | 50 | Good rule of thumb for renting. Before bringing a single box into any new place, do a walk through with the owner/leasing manager and take photos/videos of everything. The carpets, the cabinets, kitchen appliances, etc. They retake all them after you cleaned and are fully moved out and are ready to return the keys. That way you have proof that you left the apartment in equal/better condition than when you moved in. Also look through your leasing contract and see if there's anything listed about additional charges. My college landlord tried withholding our deposit because the outside trash cans were full (garbage pickup was every other week and lease ended on an in-between week). She also claimed we left the house a mess and had to pay to clean everything before the new tenants moved it. I asked her about where in the contract we couldn't leave trash in the outside bins upon move out, and mentioned all the cleaning we did. We got our deposit back in full that same week. Only thing we left were 2 couches that the new tenants were happy to have for free and the landlord knew we were leaving them. | Not a lawyer, but I'm a landlord and I have a property in CA, sounds like they are trying to charge you for normal wear and tear, this sounds like some sketchy thing they do because every 20th tenant prob is ignorant of tenant laws and just pays it. There is no way you are liable for that much work unless you lied in your post and really wrecked the place. | 0 | 1,308 | 2.380952 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il4qifm | il5l81j | 1,661,040,262 | 1,661,055,743 | 16 | 50 | There may be a local tenants union you can contact as well since California is sometimes city by city as to what’s allowed and what’s not. I rented in CA for six years, and this all sounds very illegal of them. They would have to take you to court anyway. Is there an EAP through your job you can talk to a local tenant lawyer just to confirm for the exact area you were in? I think, for example, the laws are different for Bakersfield versus San Francisco. | Not a lawyer, but I'm a landlord and I have a property in CA, sounds like they are trying to charge you for normal wear and tear, this sounds like some sketchy thing they do because every 20th tenant prob is ignorant of tenant laws and just pays it. There is no way you are liable for that much work unless you lied in your post and really wrecked the place. | 0 | 15,481 | 3.125 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il5l81j | il52h9b | 1,661,055,743 | 1,661,046,120 | 50 | 15 | Not a lawyer, but I'm a landlord and I have a property in CA, sounds like they are trying to charge you for normal wear and tear, this sounds like some sketchy thing they do because every 20th tenant prob is ignorant of tenant laws and just pays it. There is no way you are liable for that much work unless you lied in your post and really wrecked the place. | How long did you live in the unit? 2 years or more, can't charge for repaint and normal wear and tear. CA law. This is excessive. Take it to your legal/JAG office | 1 | 9,623 | 3.333333 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il5l81j | il587u5 | 1,661,055,743 | 1,661,048,931 | 50 | 10 | Not a lawyer, but I'm a landlord and I have a property in CA, sounds like they are trying to charge you for normal wear and tear, this sounds like some sketchy thing they do because every 20th tenant prob is ignorant of tenant laws and just pays it. There is no way you are liable for that much work unless you lied in your post and really wrecked the place. | There's already some decent advice on here. The military orders are most relevant. They get you out of your lease. I would add that you should take that itemized list they sent you and go on Yelp/Google etc. Find at least three carpet cleaners, painters, or whatever they are billing for and get a counter quote. It will obviously be way below 11k but it's also a non biased opinion... Because lots of big corporate landlords also own their own cleaning and repair companies as a way to charge tenants for additional costs. Then the landlord will put you in collections for these cleaning charges and try to sue you. (Not to scare you but just in case you end up in court you will at least have the evidence from these vendors that the landlord was over-charging you for their services.) | 1 | 6,812 | 5 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il4x3rf | il5iu9v | 1,661,043,490 | 1,661,054,435 | 20 | 21 | Did you paint the walls a different color that they had to change back? Landlords like to try to add this in, but unless you changed the paint and didn't repaint it back yourself, courts usually consider painting normal wear and tear and they aren't allowed to charge you for it. That is most likely the majority of what they are trying to charge you for. A full paint of every wall by a professional painter can run up to around $10k. But they are required by law to give an itemized list of every charge not just a bill. And if they don't most jurisdictions penalize by doubling or trebling the amount wrongfully withheld. | Good rule of thumb for renting. Before bringing a single box into any new place, do a walk through with the owner/leasing manager and take photos/videos of everything. The carpets, the cabinets, kitchen appliances, etc. They retake all them after you cleaned and are fully moved out and are ready to return the keys. That way you have proof that you left the apartment in equal/better condition than when you moved in. Also look through your leasing contract and see if there's anything listed about additional charges. My college landlord tried withholding our deposit because the outside trash cans were full (garbage pickup was every other week and lease ended on an in-between week). She also claimed we left the house a mess and had to pay to clean everything before the new tenants moved it. I asked her about where in the contract we couldn't leave trash in the outside bins upon move out, and mentioned all the cleaning we did. We got our deposit back in full that same week. Only thing we left were 2 couches that the new tenants were happy to have for free and the landlord knew we were leaving them. | 0 | 10,945 | 1.05 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il4x3rf | il4qifm | 1,661,043,490 | 1,661,040,262 | 20 | 16 | Did you paint the walls a different color that they had to change back? Landlords like to try to add this in, but unless you changed the paint and didn't repaint it back yourself, courts usually consider painting normal wear and tear and they aren't allowed to charge you for it. That is most likely the majority of what they are trying to charge you for. A full paint of every wall by a professional painter can run up to around $10k. But they are required by law to give an itemized list of every charge not just a bill. And if they don't most jurisdictions penalize by doubling or trebling the amount wrongfully withheld. | There may be a local tenants union you can contact as well since California is sometimes city by city as to what’s allowed and what’s not. I rented in CA for six years, and this all sounds very illegal of them. They would have to take you to court anyway. Is there an EAP through your job you can talk to a local tenant lawyer just to confirm for the exact area you were in? I think, for example, the laws are different for Bakersfield versus San Francisco. | 1 | 3,228 | 1.25 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il5iu9v | il4qifm | 1,661,054,435 | 1,661,040,262 | 21 | 16 | Good rule of thumb for renting. Before bringing a single box into any new place, do a walk through with the owner/leasing manager and take photos/videos of everything. The carpets, the cabinets, kitchen appliances, etc. They retake all them after you cleaned and are fully moved out and are ready to return the keys. That way you have proof that you left the apartment in equal/better condition than when you moved in. Also look through your leasing contract and see if there's anything listed about additional charges. My college landlord tried withholding our deposit because the outside trash cans were full (garbage pickup was every other week and lease ended on an in-between week). She also claimed we left the house a mess and had to pay to clean everything before the new tenants moved it. I asked her about where in the contract we couldn't leave trash in the outside bins upon move out, and mentioned all the cleaning we did. We got our deposit back in full that same week. Only thing we left were 2 couches that the new tenants were happy to have for free and the landlord knew we were leaving them. | There may be a local tenants union you can contact as well since California is sometimes city by city as to what’s allowed and what’s not. I rented in CA for six years, and this all sounds very illegal of them. They would have to take you to court anyway. Is there an EAP through your job you can talk to a local tenant lawyer just to confirm for the exact area you were in? I think, for example, the laws are different for Bakersfield versus San Francisco. | 1 | 14,173 | 1.3125 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il52h9b | il5iu9v | 1,661,046,120 | 1,661,054,435 | 15 | 21 | How long did you live in the unit? 2 years or more, can't charge for repaint and normal wear and tear. CA law. This is excessive. Take it to your legal/JAG office | Good rule of thumb for renting. Before bringing a single box into any new place, do a walk through with the owner/leasing manager and take photos/videos of everything. The carpets, the cabinets, kitchen appliances, etc. They retake all them after you cleaned and are fully moved out and are ready to return the keys. That way you have proof that you left the apartment in equal/better condition than when you moved in. Also look through your leasing contract and see if there's anything listed about additional charges. My college landlord tried withholding our deposit because the outside trash cans were full (garbage pickup was every other week and lease ended on an in-between week). She also claimed we left the house a mess and had to pay to clean everything before the new tenants moved it. I asked her about where in the contract we couldn't leave trash in the outside bins upon move out, and mentioned all the cleaning we did. We got our deposit back in full that same week. Only thing we left were 2 couches that the new tenants were happy to have for free and the landlord knew we were leaving them. | 0 | 8,315 | 1.4 |
wtk0jn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Landlord wants to charge over $11,000 for move out ‘repairs’ Hi! I was living in California, now am out of state. This apartment complex is owned by a big company, not a single person landlord. I got an email stating I owe them almost $20k. I called the apartment complex and the leasing agent I was able to contact said it was $11k (not sure why there’s a mishap.) but $11k is still not something I can afford. I asked why there’s such a big charge and they said there’s cleaning fees for carpet shampooing and they had to repaint. Um…. I was actually a star tenant and did a deep cleaning before leaving, and we only stayed there for a year and kept the place pretty immaculate. So I’m suspecting they want to renovate the place but on my buck. Is this legal? What steps can I take to fight this? I have already asked them for picture evidence of the damage I supposedly incurred which is costing $11k and apparently their specialist will be reaching back out on Monday since her office hours are off on weekends. I plan to ask them for an itemized bill of costs as well but I’m just baffled and honestly panicking. What can I do? Is there even anything I can do or am I just fked ? Thank you in advance. | il5iu9v | il587u5 | 1,661,054,435 | 1,661,048,931 | 21 | 10 | Good rule of thumb for renting. Before bringing a single box into any new place, do a walk through with the owner/leasing manager and take photos/videos of everything. The carpets, the cabinets, kitchen appliances, etc. They retake all them after you cleaned and are fully moved out and are ready to return the keys. That way you have proof that you left the apartment in equal/better condition than when you moved in. Also look through your leasing contract and see if there's anything listed about additional charges. My college landlord tried withholding our deposit because the outside trash cans were full (garbage pickup was every other week and lease ended on an in-between week). She also claimed we left the house a mess and had to pay to clean everything before the new tenants moved it. I asked her about where in the contract we couldn't leave trash in the outside bins upon move out, and mentioned all the cleaning we did. We got our deposit back in full that same week. Only thing we left were 2 couches that the new tenants were happy to have for free and the landlord knew we were leaving them. | There's already some decent advice on here. The military orders are most relevant. They get you out of your lease. I would add that you should take that itemized list they sent you and go on Yelp/Google etc. Find at least three carpet cleaners, painters, or whatever they are billing for and get a counter quote. It will obviously be way below 11k but it's also a non biased opinion... Because lots of big corporate landlords also own their own cleaning and repair companies as a way to charge tenants for additional costs. Then the landlord will put you in collections for these cleaning charges and try to sue you. (Not to scare you but just in case you end up in court you will at least have the evidence from these vendors that the landlord was over-charging you for their services.) | 1 | 5,504 | 2.1 |
7afdpx | legaladvice_train | 0.84 | What if I want to get an abortion without my parents ever knowing? Salt Lake City, Utah. I am 16 years old. There are no adults that I can trust. None of the planned parenthoods near me do abortion but I called one for advice and referral and they said maybe a judge will allow me to do it without permission but almost never without notification. Do I have any options at all? | dp9w8pq | dp9i83o | 1,509,681,661 | 1,509,664,662 | 148 | 82 | In both Nevada and CA, you don't need consent or notification. In CA, you make an appointment, walk in, and walk out either no longer pregnant or with a few pills to take in 24 hours to flush out your uterus. I can't speak for Nevada, but in CA, there is financial help available if you cannot afford the procedure, which costs about $600-$900 depending on exactly what the clinic does. If you need an abortion in CA, you can get one. There are resources available. | First, this is a shitty situation for you to be in, and I’m sorry. Is traveling to a neighboring state an option? If it’s not, this is a link to the Utah courts guide and directions on how to get around consent with a judicial waiver. I’m having difficulty figuring out if that same waiver works for the notification requirements or not. I would hope that someone at the courthouse would be able to help answer that question though. | 1 | 16,999 | 1.804878 |
7afdpx | legaladvice_train | 0.84 | What if I want to get an abortion without my parents ever knowing? Salt Lake City, Utah. I am 16 years old. There are no adults that I can trust. None of the planned parenthoods near me do abortion but I called one for advice and referral and they said maybe a judge will allow me to do it without permission but almost never without notification. Do I have any options at all? | dp9qsve | dp9w8pq | 1,509,674,857 | 1,509,681,661 | 16 | 148 | Any women's shelters nearby? They might also have advice or resources that could help you. | In both Nevada and CA, you don't need consent or notification. In CA, you make an appointment, walk in, and walk out either no longer pregnant or with a few pills to take in 24 hours to flush out your uterus. I can't speak for Nevada, but in CA, there is financial help available if you cannot afford the procedure, which costs about $600-$900 depending on exactly what the clinic does. If you need an abortion in CA, you can get one. There are resources available. | 0 | 6,804 | 9.25 |
7afdpx | legaladvice_train | 0.84 | What if I want to get an abortion without my parents ever knowing? Salt Lake City, Utah. I am 16 years old. There are no adults that I can trust. None of the planned parenthoods near me do abortion but I called one for advice and referral and they said maybe a judge will allow me to do it without permission but almost never without notification. Do I have any options at all? | dpa5zs5 | dp9qsve | 1,509,703,848 | 1,509,674,857 | 19 | 16 | This is an organization in Texas that helps women under 18 obtain Judicial Bypass: https://janesdueprocess.org/our-services/judicial-bypass/ Of course you do not live in Texas, but I link to them because they may have a sister organization in Utah, or know of resources or recommendations. I support Jane's Due Process for the very reasons you're experiencing right now. I hope they can point you to something similar in your state, or point you to a resource line to ask questions, even if you decide to go with the Nevada option. They can be a resource to gather as much information as you can. > *If you need to get your abortion in Louisiana, get help with your judicial bypass by visiting The Louisiana Judicial Bypass Project page. If you need an abortion in any other state outside of Texas, call or text our hotline at 866-999-5263 for referrals to resources in your state. Good luck, and god speed. | Any women's shelters nearby? They might also have advice or resources that could help you. | 1 | 28,991 | 1.1875 |
ej6thv | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | 17 Year-Old Sister With Eating Disorder Needs Immediate Medical Attention But Refuses to Go to Hospital Throwaway account. Location is Ontario, Canada. My younger sister has had anorexia for 2 years. She went to the hospital previously in September - November of 2018. Came out, hated my parents for putting her there. Still suffers from the illness, is now medically unstable and has trouble walking up and downstairs and all of her body hurts. No longer in school. I think her organs are starting to shut down. Parents can't convince her to go to the hospital. They're scared to push her to go because a close friend of hers committed suicide recently and they don't want to lose her the same way. My understanding is she can't be forced to go to the hospital (i.e. through police or ambulance) without proof of her condition and that she can deny her condition if we call 9-1-1. I go back to university in 3 days. I need to see her in the hospital before that. Any information on how I can get her there before any more damage is done would be great. | fcwk932 | fcwom22 | 1,578,027,921 | 1,578,031,760 | 23 | 49 | Do you have a community mental health run crisis line in your city? They can help walk you through the process of getting her formed. Call 311 and ask if they have a crisis mental health line. Best of luck. Many of them are 24 hours. There is no wrong time to call. | I'm not a huge fan of Children's Aid, but I think in this case it's your best option. Everyone keeps telling you to go before a judge, but it sounds like she needs a legal mandate because she isn't competent; under the care of the province, you wouldn't be involved attorney-wise and she would likely be forced to get the care she needs. If you call the police, they might end up calling Children's Aid *anyway*, but I think I would make an urgent report. They have social workers available for emergencies. I mean...they're not something you usually want to get entangled in, but I think it's inevitable. Better to do it by your own terms and not through the gateway of OPP or God forbid TPS. At least you can control the narrative and self-report rather than have them come back at you. It's not negligence if you're proactive. Anyway, if she's in danger, a social worker is going to make that determination. You are way out of your pay grade here if she's unwilling. This is why social services exists. | 0 | 3,839 | 2.130435 |
ej6thv | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | 17 Year-Old Sister With Eating Disorder Needs Immediate Medical Attention But Refuses to Go to Hospital Throwaway account. Location is Ontario, Canada. My younger sister has had anorexia for 2 years. She went to the hospital previously in September - November of 2018. Came out, hated my parents for putting her there. Still suffers from the illness, is now medically unstable and has trouble walking up and downstairs and all of her body hurts. No longer in school. I think her organs are starting to shut down. Parents can't convince her to go to the hospital. They're scared to push her to go because a close friend of hers committed suicide recently and they don't want to lose her the same way. My understanding is she can't be forced to go to the hospital (i.e. through police or ambulance) without proof of her condition and that she can deny her condition if we call 9-1-1. I go back to university in 3 days. I need to see her in the hospital before that. Any information on how I can get her there before any more damage is done would be great. | fcwom22 | fcwh7q6 | 1,578,031,760 | 1,578,025,546 | 49 | 13 | I'm not a huge fan of Children's Aid, but I think in this case it's your best option. Everyone keeps telling you to go before a judge, but it sounds like she needs a legal mandate because she isn't competent; under the care of the province, you wouldn't be involved attorney-wise and she would likely be forced to get the care she needs. If you call the police, they might end up calling Children's Aid *anyway*, but I think I would make an urgent report. They have social workers available for emergencies. I mean...they're not something you usually want to get entangled in, but I think it's inevitable. Better to do it by your own terms and not through the gateway of OPP or God forbid TPS. At least you can control the narrative and self-report rather than have them come back at you. It's not negligence if you're proactive. Anyway, if she's in danger, a social worker is going to make that determination. You are way out of your pay grade here if she's unwilling. This is why social services exists. | Edit: just realized you’re in Canada. The rules are different here. Ignore my advice and listen to the other posters here. She is 17. She can be forced to go to the hospital by her parents, and based on what you say here, she WILL be admitted. | 1 | 6,214 | 3.769231 |
ej6thv | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | 17 Year-Old Sister With Eating Disorder Needs Immediate Medical Attention But Refuses to Go to Hospital Throwaway account. Location is Ontario, Canada. My younger sister has had anorexia for 2 years. She went to the hospital previously in September - November of 2018. Came out, hated my parents for putting her there. Still suffers from the illness, is now medically unstable and has trouble walking up and downstairs and all of her body hurts. No longer in school. I think her organs are starting to shut down. Parents can't convince her to go to the hospital. They're scared to push her to go because a close friend of hers committed suicide recently and they don't want to lose her the same way. My understanding is she can't be forced to go to the hospital (i.e. through police or ambulance) without proof of her condition and that she can deny her condition if we call 9-1-1. I go back to university in 3 days. I need to see her in the hospital before that. Any information on how I can get her there before any more damage is done would be great. | fcwh7q6 | fcwk932 | 1,578,025,546 | 1,578,027,921 | 13 | 23 | Edit: just realized you’re in Canada. The rules are different here. Ignore my advice and listen to the other posters here. She is 17. She can be forced to go to the hospital by her parents, and based on what you say here, she WILL be admitted. | Do you have a community mental health run crisis line in your city? They can help walk you through the process of getting her formed. Call 311 and ask if they have a crisis mental health line. Best of luck. Many of them are 24 hours. There is no wrong time to call. | 0 | 2,375 | 1.769231 |
50c72q | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | [NV] My sister's neighbor has served her with papers and is trying to get guardianship of her. She's an adult and she has a job as a paramedic and supports herself. How it is possible that he can bring to court? (She barely knows him) | d72thw5 | d72tc8s | 1,472,577,076 | 1,472,576,875 | 1,766 | 98 | Your adult sister's neighbor is attempting to use the legal system to kidnap her? I haven't heard of one like this before. This is creepy on a whole new level. I'd recommend a restraining order. The case itself should be child's play for a competent lawyer to beat. Just... I'd seriously recommend a restraining order. | Anyone can file an action - the bar to starting a case is fairly low. The bar to succeeding is much, much higher. She should hire a lawyer ASAP and look into her options. There's a decent chance this can be thrown out quickly. | 1 | 201 | 18.020408 |
50c72q | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | [NV] My sister's neighbor has served her with papers and is trying to get guardianship of her. She's an adult and she has a job as a paramedic and supports herself. How it is possible that he can bring to court? (She barely knows him) | d72tc8s | d72ucqm | 1,472,576,875 | 1,472,578,153 | 98 | 502 | Anyone can file an action - the bar to starting a case is fairly low. The bar to succeeding is much, much higher. She should hire a lawyer ASAP and look into her options. There's a decent chance this can be thrown out quickly. | Does he actually have a lawyer? Because someone needs the bar called on him if so. | 0 | 1,278 | 5.122449 |
50c72q | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | [NV] My sister's neighbor has served her with papers and is trying to get guardianship of her. She's an adult and she has a job as a paramedic and supports herself. How it is possible that he can bring to court? (She barely knows him) | d72wijp | d72wcry | 1,472,580,904 | 1,472,580,694 | 259 | 184 | First thing to get it out of the way... MAKE SURE SHE SHOWS UP TO COURT. Could be this is a scam and is trying to get the ability so sign/take control of her assets. A easy way is a default judgement. I would also look into getting a restraining order but that may be hard if all he has done is file this case. Maybe try that after the court case, the judge may help if the case is as bad as you say. See if he has filled any other cases or done this before. And have her check her credit history. See if anything comes up. Either this person could become dangerous, restraining order, and/or is trying to scam her so she should watch out for new credit cards or packages she did not order. Now that I think about it doe she have a camera in the front of her house? Get a cheap IP camera just to CYA. | So I see a lot of comments about how insane this is and how unlikely it is to succeed, but if she has official papers from the court *do not ignore them* Call the court to confirm their authenticity. Show up on the court date (maybe have a friend overtly watch the house in case it's a robbery scheme) and dispute the crazy. Not answering or ignoring official papers is a terrible idea, no matter how insane the claims appear to be. That's how you end up with a dead dog. | 1 | 210 | 1.407609 |
50c72q | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | [NV] My sister's neighbor has served her with papers and is trying to get guardianship of her. She's an adult and she has a job as a paramedic and supports herself. How it is possible that he can bring to court? (She barely knows him) | d72tc8s | d72wijp | 1,472,576,875 | 1,472,580,904 | 98 | 259 | Anyone can file an action - the bar to starting a case is fairly low. The bar to succeeding is much, much higher. She should hire a lawyer ASAP and look into her options. There's a decent chance this can be thrown out quickly. | First thing to get it out of the way... MAKE SURE SHE SHOWS UP TO COURT. Could be this is a scam and is trying to get the ability so sign/take control of her assets. A easy way is a default judgement. I would also look into getting a restraining order but that may be hard if all he has done is file this case. Maybe try that after the court case, the judge may help if the case is as bad as you say. See if he has filled any other cases or done this before. And have her check her credit history. See if anything comes up. Either this person could become dangerous, restraining order, and/or is trying to scam her so she should watch out for new credit cards or packages she did not order. Now that I think about it doe she have a camera in the front of her house? Get a cheap IP camera just to CYA. | 0 | 4,029 | 2.642857 |
50c72q | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | [NV] My sister's neighbor has served her with papers and is trying to get guardianship of her. She's an adult and she has a job as a paramedic and supports herself. How it is possible that he can bring to court? (She barely knows him) | d72wcry | d72tc8s | 1,472,580,694 | 1,472,576,875 | 184 | 98 | So I see a lot of comments about how insane this is and how unlikely it is to succeed, but if she has official papers from the court *do not ignore them* Call the court to confirm their authenticity. Show up on the court date (maybe have a friend overtly watch the house in case it's a robbery scheme) and dispute the crazy. Not answering or ignoring official papers is a terrible idea, no matter how insane the claims appear to be. That's how you end up with a dead dog. | Anyone can file an action - the bar to starting a case is fairly low. The bar to succeeding is much, much higher. She should hire a lawyer ASAP and look into her options. There's a decent chance this can be thrown out quickly. | 1 | 3,819 | 1.877551 |
50c72q | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | [NV] My sister's neighbor has served her with papers and is trying to get guardianship of her. She's an adult and she has a job as a paramedic and supports herself. How it is possible that he can bring to court? (She barely knows him) | d731dfk | d73082t | 1,472,587,068 | 1,472,585,632 | 134 | 96 | 1) You and your sister should search for the plaintiff/petitioner in the local online docketing system. I'm guessing that he's done odd things before and left a paper trail. You should check any other places that you know that he has lived, and places that are adjacent to where he lives. For example, Clark County Nevada records can be found here: http://www.clarkcountycourts.us/clerk/ This is a private web site that may end up trying to sell you something, but their initial links may be worthwhile: http://publicrecords.onlinesearches.com/Nevada-Jail-and-Inmate-Records.htm 2) Nevada has adopted a legal concept called a "Vexatious Litigant". That's someone who has abused the court system so much that they are not allowed to file anything new without special permission. In most states that would take several instances of filings that were completely without merit. In Nevada, it looks like the statute is written in such a way that someone can be declared a "vexatious litigant" by a judge after only one strike, which can include a guardianship filing: http://law.justia.com/codes/nevada/2014/chapter-159/statute-159.0486 ...declaring someone a "vexatious litigant" is sort of the nuclear option, and a judge may be reluctant to do it if this is the only crazy thing this guy's done. 3) Here's a link to the current "vexatious litigant" list - is your guy on it already? If so, your sister may get a near automatic dismissal, and the guy could get a free trip to jail or psychiatric exam, or both. http://nvcourts.gov/AOC/Administration/Judicial_Council/Vexatious_Litigant_List/ 4) I am not a lawyer. Your sister should talk to a real Nevada lawyer who has some experience with Guardianships right away. She may want to consider a restraining order, and she may want advice on the use of deadly force in Nevada. | I am not a lawyer - but I am a licensed clinical social worker. As stated before in this thread - if there is an "officialness" to this request, as in she is asked to appear in a court of law, she must respond to it. Otherwise...I've had parents/family members come to me stating intent to file guardianship over impaired clients (who in actuality don't meet criteria for guardanship). It is an EXTREMELY difficult process. That said, there is just absolutely, positively, no way in hell that your sister's neighbor would EVER be able to be successful in obtaining guardianship over your sister in this manner. Again, I am not a lawyer but I think we can all safely say this is an open-and-shut case (again, unless she has been officially served in the sense that she is asked to be present for any type of hearing - she MUST respond to that). But if this would ever get before a judge it will be laughed out of a courtroom. And as was mentioned elsewhere in this thread, if an attorney actually deigned to assist the neighbor in drawing this up, they should be immediately reported to the Nevada State Bar Association for a (humongous) ethics violation. Good luck! | 1 | 1,436 | 1.395833 |
50c72q | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | [NV] My sister's neighbor has served her with papers and is trying to get guardianship of her. She's an adult and she has a job as a paramedic and supports herself. How it is possible that he can bring to court? (She barely knows him) | d72tc8s | d731dfk | 1,472,576,875 | 1,472,587,068 | 98 | 134 | Anyone can file an action - the bar to starting a case is fairly low. The bar to succeeding is much, much higher. She should hire a lawyer ASAP and look into her options. There's a decent chance this can be thrown out quickly. | 1) You and your sister should search for the plaintiff/petitioner in the local online docketing system. I'm guessing that he's done odd things before and left a paper trail. You should check any other places that you know that he has lived, and places that are adjacent to where he lives. For example, Clark County Nevada records can be found here: http://www.clarkcountycourts.us/clerk/ This is a private web site that may end up trying to sell you something, but their initial links may be worthwhile: http://publicrecords.onlinesearches.com/Nevada-Jail-and-Inmate-Records.htm 2) Nevada has adopted a legal concept called a "Vexatious Litigant". That's someone who has abused the court system so much that they are not allowed to file anything new without special permission. In most states that would take several instances of filings that were completely without merit. In Nevada, it looks like the statute is written in such a way that someone can be declared a "vexatious litigant" by a judge after only one strike, which can include a guardianship filing: http://law.justia.com/codes/nevada/2014/chapter-159/statute-159.0486 ...declaring someone a "vexatious litigant" is sort of the nuclear option, and a judge may be reluctant to do it if this is the only crazy thing this guy's done. 3) Here's a link to the current "vexatious litigant" list - is your guy on it already? If so, your sister may get a near automatic dismissal, and the guy could get a free trip to jail or psychiatric exam, or both. http://nvcourts.gov/AOC/Administration/Judicial_Council/Vexatious_Litigant_List/ 4) I am not a lawyer. Your sister should talk to a real Nevada lawyer who has some experience with Guardianships right away. She may want to consider a restraining order, and she may want advice on the use of deadly force in Nevada. | 0 | 10,193 | 1.367347 |
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