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learn3r
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Dataset card Data Studio Files Files and versions Community

Split (3)

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Phyllis: Whoo! Wow, it is raining cats and dogs out there. Holy moley. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Phyllis says the same twelve clichés every time it rains. So, I promised everyone that if she says them all by noon today, I will send out for hot chocolates. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: So how was the drive in? Phyllis: Oh, nobody knows how to drive in the rain. Darryl: You don't say? Phyllis: Yeah. You know the roads are actually the slickest in the first half hour? [SCENE_BREAK] Phyllis: Oh, the plants are gonna love this. Oscar: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] Phyllis: I actually sleep better when it's raining. Meredith: Tell me about it. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Time's almost up. How many are left? Pam: Just one. "This weather makes me want to stay at home, curled up with a good book." Darryl: Phyllis. This rain... does it make you wanna be doing something? Phyllis: What do you mean? Pam: You know, like aren't some things just so nice and cozy in the rain? Jim: Hey, come on. Phyllis: Lots of things are cozy in the rain. Jim: And that's noon. Exactly. [others groan] [SCENE_BREAK] Phyllis: I mean, normally the rain would make me want to stay home, curled up with a good book. But everybody's being so nice to me today. I'm really happy being here. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [singing] My girlfriend's back and there's gonna be trouble- Andy & Erin: Hey la, hey la... Andy: ...my girlfriend's back! Erin: [simultaneously] ...his girlfriend's back! [others cheer and applaud] Andy: Anyway, I know it's the end of the day. We just wanted to stop by and say hi. Kevin: Welcome home. Erin: Thank you. Andy: Hey, Kev. Kevin: Yeah. Andy: Nice sweater. Kevin: [wearing a Cornell sweater] Thank you. Nellie was nice enough to give it to me. She's sweet. I just wish there was pockets. Andy: What happened to old salty? Dwight: Nellie let me bobble-ize him. His name is now Captain Mutato. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I've written quite a bit of X-Men fan fiction. Captain Mutato is half man, half mermaid. So he can fight crime as a man and make love as a mermaid. Most of my writing involves the latter. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Okey dokey. [knocks on door] Nellie: Yes? Andy: Whoa. Well, you must be the famous Nellie Bertram I've been hearing all about. I am the famous Andy Bernard you've been hearing all about. Nellie: Oh yes. Andy: I just want to thank you for jumping in and minding the store during my temporary absence. Nellie: You are most welcome. Andy: Anyway, now that I'm back, I would love to have my office back, whenever you get a chance. Nellie: No. Andy: Obviously, we'll figure out the, uh, logistics of moving all this stuff out of here. But, you know, the sooner the better. Nellie: Mm-hmm. Andy: Get back to normalcy. Nellie: Hmm, no. [SCENE_BREAK] Ravi: ...and then just lay him in his crib, and then bicycle his legs. And then after Jim quiets down, you do the same thing with your baby. [Pam, Jim and Kelly laugh] But if he keeps having problems, just give me a call. Pam: Oh my gosh, thank you so much. But seriously, we don't want to bother you any more than we already have. Jim: That's it. Kelly: It's no bother, you guys are our friends. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Ravi, our amazing pediatrician, was asking us if we knew any girls and I said I know the perfect girl. Jim: Yep. Because Kelly is Indian and... oh, that's it. Pam: Race had nothing to do with it. I just knew they'd be good together. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: [talks over flashbacks] Kelly has been a handful in the past. Kelly: [cries, slams fist on desk] Why? Pam: [Ryan and Kelly make out in the nook] But she's had a bad influence. She's like an addict. [Ryan and Kelly argue] And I just had to get her clean. Kevin: [Ryan and Kelly make out on Oscar's desk] Get lower. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Um, also, little tip, never shake the baby. Jim: Sorry, just to be clear, you're saying do NOT shake the baby. Ryan: Don't shake the baby. Um, a lot of times, parents get frustrated 'cause the baby's crying and they shake the baby. And you got to, um, you can't do that. Pam: Don't shake our baby? Ryan: Yeah. Pam: Okay. I'd never heard that before. So, thank you. Ryan: Oh, my God. Pam: Yeah, I'm glad you said something. Ryan: Me too. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Kelly and I broke up and she can do whatever she wants. And her new boyfriend seems awesome, if you're into Indian people. I'm not. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Hey, um, what's the deal with this guy? He's really into Kelly, huh? Pam: Yeah, they're really great together. Ryan: Maybe we weren't right together, but... it's weird. I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love? Jim: That's about it, yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: Nellie! You've been terrific in your interim capacity. But, Andrew is the rightful manager so if you would just give him his office- Nellie: No. Robert: I'm sorry? Andy: This is what I was trying to tell you. Robert: I'm not accustomed to people saying no to me. [laughs] Nellie: Well, Bobby, get accustomed to it because then it feels so good when they finally say yes. Robert: You're both adults. I'm sure you can figure this out between yourselves. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: I never allow sexual desire to influence a business decision. So I find it best to excuse myself temporarily until I've had a chance to make love and then go back and analyze the situation rationally. Buffett operates the same way. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: I'm gonna count down from five and if you are not out of my office, I'm going to dock your pay one hundred dollars. Andy: [chuckling] Okay. Nellie: Five... four... Andy: You can't dock my pay- Nellie: Angela! Dock Andy's pay one hundred dollars. Angela: On it! Andy: Great. Five, four, three, two, one. Angela, please dock Nellie's pay a hundred dollars. Angela? Nellie: Do you want to go again? Andy: Angela? Nellie: Let's go again. Five... four... Andy: Ooh, she's counting again. Nellie: Three... two... one... Andy: Oh, oh! Nellie: Angela, two hundred dollars! Angela: You got it. Andy: Seriously, Angela? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: I got a little bit of an anger problem. Got me in some trouble a couple years ago. Erin: When I see him start to get mad, I just put my hand on his arm like this. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: I know what, let's go... ten thousand dollars! [Andy laughs] Five... four... Andy: You're just saying numbers. It's meaningless. Nellie: Three... Andy: It's literally like- Nellie: Two... [Andy runs out of the room] one. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: There you go. [helps Andy in the car] Hey. we're gonna have a nice, hot date. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Hey. So last night was so not a big deal. Andy: Oh, yeah, I was just tired. Erin: We both were. Plus, I was definitely not my normal sexy self. Andy: Whoa. No. Are you kidding? You were so sexy. Just the thought of you last night, like, crazy turns me on. It just didn't last night. Erin: Really. It's not a big deal. Andy: Yeah. I know it's not... a big deal. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: I found this the other day while I was journaling and they reminded me of you. Kelly: Oh, those are from our weekend at the time share. Ryan: Yeah, the fractional ownership property. [sigh] Oh, we took this one right before we got in that huge fight. Kelly: God I don't even remember what that fight was about. Ryan: You were being really bratty about where we would go out to dinner. But all I remember is how pretty you looked, taking those pictures of me. Anyway, if you want to order prints of your own, I can send you the link. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her. Again, that could change. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: When you lost the manager job- Dwight: Yes? Erin: Did it affect you outside of the office? Dwight: How? Erin: I don't know what the technical term is... Penial softiosis? Dwight: Erin, I am so glad that you trusted me. You came to the exact right person for this. No, I have never once experienced anything remotely like that. Never. Erin: Oh, okay. Dwight: Okay? Erin: Okay. Dwight: Washington Monument. Erin: Oh. Dwight: Eiffel Tower. Erin: Okay, okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: I saw you were getting along with Ryan again. Kelly: He's so sweet. He pointed to my latte and he said, "Kelly, that will be the color of our children." Pam: Yeah, he's so great. Remember how it felt when he cheated on you though? Kelly: Which time? [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: I am not going to let Kelly throw her life away on Ryan. And it has nothing to do with access to my pediatrician. Why you would even ask or were going to ask, because I- I felt like that question was coming. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: One of Toby's eyes is getting smaller. So there's that. Gabe bragged about having an extra ticket to the air show this weekend and Meredith said she was interested and then Gabe said immediately that his friend might be taking the ticket. So I'll keep you posted on that. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Every day I brief Nellie on what's going on in the office. Most of it's irrelevant. But a good informer doesn't judge what's worth passing on. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Oh, and Andy lost his masculinity, so congratulations on that. Nellie: What do you mean? Dwight: Erin made it clear to me that he was unable to perform sexually last night. By contrast, I went to sleep with an erection so large it was like I was wearing no blanket at all. Wow, I knew you'd win, but you just demolished him! I'm a little bit jealous, actually. Reduced him to a mere ant. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: I just wanted to take the man's job, not his manhood. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: Okay, I would like to invite everyone into the conference room. Andy: You can't call a meeting. [laughs] But I would like to have a meeting in the conference room right now! So let's get in the conference room. Thank you. Good. Thank you for coming to my meeting. Nellie: Okay, if you would like to take a seat we can get started. Andy: Oh! Can't do it 'cause I gotta run a meeting. So. Nellie: No. Andy: Wanted to talk to all of you guys about [reads whiteboard] importance... and know that each and every one of you is vitally important. Robert: Andrew, not everyone here is important. And the word is "impotence." Nellie: Which is important in its own way. So if you'd just like to take a seat, Andy. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: "Take a man's job, but leave him his balls." Margaret Thatcher said that... probably. Don't know. Don't read. Didn't see the movie. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: This meeting is not about any one person in particular. It is a human problem. Dwight: It's not just a human problem. Flounders frequently experience impotence, especially when converting from male to female and then back again to male. Oscar: Nellie, does the person affected by this want us to help her in any way in particular? Nellie: Oh, oh, it's not me. No, no. I've never had any problem in that arena. And I have been with several older men. Robert & Creed: [in unison] How old? Creed: Jinx. Buy me some Coke. Nellie: Dwight told me about it earlier. Erin: Dwight! All: What? Erin: You promised! Kevin: Dwight couldn't get it up for Nellie? Dwight: No, no, no, no, no, It's not me. I'm gonna prove it right here and now. [thrusts his pelvis] Angela: What are you doing? Oscar: What is this? Angela: Stop that! Dwight! Stop that, stop it. Andy: Fine, it was me. I couldn't- I had a problem with Erin last night. Happy? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: I had a lot on my mind last night. And I didn't perform. Okay? It happens to plenty of guys. It's usually not followed by a giant workplace discussion and an interview. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Every guy in this room has been touched by this affliction. Tuna? T-dog? Jim: Um... Darryl: Uh... I have other issues. I'm terrible at math. Overweight. You- you're in great shape. A lot better shape than I am, tell you what. Robert: It seems Andy is the only one with this problem. Fascinating. Andy: Fascinating. Gabe: I don't really see what the problem is. Erin doesn't even like sx, remember? You said it feels like getting tackled by a skeleton. Nellie: Chumbo, come on, help me out. Any problems with Little Chumbo? Kevin: Tip-top shape. Nellie: Oh... Stanley? Stanley: No. Um-um. Nellie: Creed, you are a thousand years old. Creed: Haven't heard any complaints. Wouldn't care if I did. Andy: Okay, so I- Pam: Actually Andy, I think maybe we experienced it. Jim: What happened? Pam: That a couple of times- Jim: Couple of times. Robert: Jim, maybe you could tell us about one of those times. Dwight: Yeah Jim. Andy: Yeah Jim, get it out there. Jim: Um... I don't... Uh, yes, that time that it was very late. Uh, we'd had sx so many times already, I was exhausted... Pam: Okay, stop. Jim: I was very drunk. Phyllis: If it makes you feel any better, I never had an orgasm until I was forty-two. And then when I did, it lasted 'til I was forty-four. [SCENE_BREAK] Phyllis: Forty-three was ju- I got nothing done. [laughs] [SCENE_BREAK] Gabe: I've read- and I don't know anything about this personally- but they say prostate stimulation can help. Angela: Ugh. Gabe: This is just, uh- This American Life, I think I heard it on. Robert: No, that's absolutely the case. Gabe: I know, right? Dwight: You know, my rectal electro-ejaculator is rated for bovine use only but I could let you rent it. Robert: Andy, why don't you tell us about the best erection of your life? Or does anyone else have any remarkable erections they'd like to share? [Creed, Kevin and Meredith raise their hands] Kevin: Ooh, ooh! Jim: Wow, what are we talking about? Erin: Toby, doesn't HR have some rules against talking about this kind of stuff? Toby: Erin, HR is a joke. I can't do anything about anything. Nellie: The most important thing to remember is not to stress about this. Stress just makes it worse, and then you stress more. And that's a vicious spiral. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: I almost didn't come in today. [laughs] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [on the phone] Dad, don't think of it as a demotion. Just think of it as a promotion to a lower level. I don't think you have to tell your friends anything. It hasn't been decided yet. Nellie: Erin, on phone memos you're writing the date American style. Month, day, year. I prefer it day, month, year. Small, bigger, biggest. Oh, sexual innuendo. Not intentional. Erin: Shut up. Shut up! I am sick of your dumb opinions. And if you don't like the way that I take phone messages, here! [throws phone] Take 'em yourself! Andy: Oh, and another thing! Our s*x life is none of your businesses! Erin: And Andy is the manager, not Nellie! Andy: Stop protecting me! I'm a man- I can protect myself! This is misdirected anger and I'm sorry! I don't mean to lash out at you! There's a lot coming up right now, all at once! [into phone] Dad go to hell, I'm taller than you! Nellie: Okay, just calm down. Andy: You are not the manager. I earned that job. I was personally chosen after Robert was chosen and quit. Robert: Andy, why don't you just take a seat? Andy: Why don't you take a seat, you idiot? [throws chair] Erin: And why don't you take all your stupid memos and your stupid pens and your dumb caramels? Andy: And your stupid face! [grabs Nellie's photo off the wall and smashes it on the ground] And your stupid office! [punches hole in the wall] Ah! Darryl: He does not like that wall. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Maybe we'll get sent to anger management together. Andy: That would actually be cool. I'd love for you to meet some of the guys. Robert: Andy, Erin, you can join us now. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Hey, I hear you been bad-mouthing me to Kelly. Pam: All I did was remind her that you used to treat her badly. Ryan: Well that's your opinion and it's her opinion, but it's not my opinion. If you have something bad to say to me, Pam, say it to my face. Pam: Fair enough. Um... I don't think you're a very good person. And forgive me, but I feel like I've said this to you before: I don't like you very much. Ryan: Well a lot of people would say that I'm a better match for Kelly than Ravi is. Oscar: Oh come on, Ryan. Really? Ravi's way better. Ryan: For Kelly? Kevin: Yeah. Man, you're insane right now. Ravi's the whole package. Nate: I've never met Ravi personally, but I'm gonna go ahead and say, just having knowing you a short while, Brian, that I prefer Ravi. And again, I've never even met the guy. Ryan: Kelly, I wrote you the most amazing love poem. But I can't even read it. My heart couldn't handle it. Pam: Oh, no, no, no. Oscar: Oh, come on. Pam: Read it, please. I love amazing poetry. Ryan: No. It would cause me too much pain. Pam: Read through the pain. Be strong. Ryan: This poem would crush you! Oscar: Ryan, go away! She found herself a beautiful boyfriend! Kevin: Yeah, man, he's absolutely gorgeous! Please leave her alone. Ryan: You see, Kelly? Our love scares them. It screws up their cookie-cutter world. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: Ravi makes me incredibly happy. And Ryan puts me through so much drama. So I guess I just have to decide which of those is more important to me. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: Andy, we're going to go with Nellie as manager and put you back on the sales team. I promise you, in time, we'll all laugh about this incident. I already think it's kind of funny. [chuckles] Andy: No. Robert: Excuse me? Andy: I'm saying no. Robert: Well you can't say no. Andy: No. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: [sees Ryan on the horse] Oh, boo! Boo! Boo to you! Boo! Ryan: You are toxic! You are toxic! Pam: Boo! Jim: Hey, hey. Okay. Ryan: Kelly, I have a few things to say to you, so please don't interrupt. Kelly: I wasn't going to interrupt. Ryan: Well you do a lot, so just don't. Thank you. I know that I haven't always treated you the way that you, for whatever reason, feel you deserve to be treated. But I want to marry you, Kelly Kapoor. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, and probably. Pam: Barf! Ugh, you suck! Ryan: What is your problem? [to horse wrangler] Hey, hey, hey, can we turn this back around quickly, please? This is very important to me. Wrangler: Turn around. Turn around. Turn around! Ryan: Can we turn this [bleep]-ing thing around? Thank you. Wrangler: She don't wanna turn around. Ryan: Thank you. Kelly, I can't promise you that we'll always stay together. I can't promise you that I'll never cheat on you. Nor should I. Modern marriages aren't built that way. Men aren't built that way. There's a very interesting article I can email to you. But I can tell you this. Even if the odds are fifty-fifty that we'll break up within the week, I wanna roll those dice. I love you, Kelly. Kelly: Ryan. Ryan: Will you roll those dice with me? Kelly: You mean so much to me. But, I love Ravi and I choose him. Ryan: No you don't. Kelly: I do. Ryan: No you don't. Kelly: I hope we can still be friends. Can I have a hug? Ryan: What? [they hug] Kelly: That was really cool. [they make out] Angela: Ugh. Eww! Jim: Well, it's good to see Kelly's maturing. Angela: Oh God! [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: Look, Andrew, we can discuss the specifics of the job. Andy: No. Nellie: It's the apology. I really have to insist. Andy: [British accent] No. Nellie: Stop saying no. Andy: No. Robert: Andrew, if you say no one more time, you're fired. So... is there anything else you wanna say? Andy: No. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: I can't describe it. I just, for the first time in a long time, I actually feel in control. I feel... alive. Erin: Here- [grabs the box Andy's holding] Andy: Ah- da, da, da, da. I got it. Erin: But you hurt your hand. Andy: I... Got... It. Erin: Right now? Andy: Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: You're not the least bit curious to hear a poem straight from Ryan's soul? Jim: Not at all, can we go? Pam: "Kapoor and ka-desperate, he watches." Jim: Second line. Pam: "He is a drifter out to sea." [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: "And when the Indian Ocean calms, one speck of white remains in waters cold and Kelly green." Pam: It's just so dumb. [chokes up] But when he describes himself as a child, lost on the life raft... [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Uh, Ryan can never know.	Plan: A: Andy; Q: Who is fired for punching a hole in the wall? A: the office; Q: Where does Andy return to find Nellie in the manager's chair? A: ( Mindy Kaling; Q: Who plays Kelly Kapoor? A: Ravi; Q: Who is the new man Kelly Kapoor is forced to choose between Ryan and? A: Sendhil Ramamurthy; Q: Who plays Ravi? A: Pam and Jim's pediatrician; Q: What is Ravi's job? Summary: Andy returns to the office to find Nellie in the manager's chair. Andy soon overreacts by punching a hole in a wall and is promptly fired. Meanwhile, Kelly Kapoor ( Mindy Kaling ) is forced to choose between Ryan and a new man, Ravi ( Sendhil Ramamurthy ), who is Pam and Jim's pediatrician.
EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE MAGPIE'S SHOP A dark and stormy night in London outside Magpie's Electrical shop. Lightning flashes across the sky. INT. MAGPIE'S SHOP Inside, Magpie sits and leans sullenly on the counter, balancing his accounts. In the background, a television is on. ANNOUNCER / THE WIRE: Orchestrations were arranged by Sir Rodney Fenning, and Dame Eve English is a member of the Kings Lynn Players. So tune in again next week for more from the: What's My Line team. We see the black and white television face of the Announcer/the Wire- 30's/40's and sincere. ANNOUNCER / THE WIRE (CONT'D): And that brings us to the end of programming for today. So, from all of us here at Alexandra Palace, a very good night. As her face blinks from the screen, Magpie sits up and sighs. MAGPIE: Two hundred pounds overdrawn. We hear "God Save the Queen" in the background as Magpie tears a page from his ledger and screws it up. MAGPIE (CONT'D): I need a miracle. He throws the paper into a bin before leaning back on the counter and burying his head in his hands. EXT. ROAD In through a window, we hear laughter from a radio in a home. INT. CONNELLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM Gran laughs as Tommy sits on the sofa reading "The Radio Enthusiast". Rita Connelly is sewing by the window. RITA (laughs at the radio): He's a caution, that one! He does make me laugh. Internal door opens, and Eddie Connelly walks in in a suit and tie, war medals on his chest. GRAN: Oh, our lord and master. EDDIE (straightening his tie): Rita, I'm off out. TOMMY (turning to Eddie): Dad. He lifts up the 'Radio Enthusiast' to show him. EDDIE (tiredly): Oh how many times, son? We'll see! TOMMY: But everyone's getting a telly, dad! Even Mr Gallagher. And the Bells at number sixty seven. EDDIE: Well, perhaps we'll get one for the Coronation. Tommy grins delightedly at him. EDDIE (CONT'D): If you're lucky! He points a finger at Tommy. Rita turns and smiles. EDDIE (CONT'D): We'll see. He ruffles Tommy's hair. EDDIE (To Rita): Don't wait up. As Eddie leaves, Gran speaks up. GRAN: I heard they rot your brains. (Tommy turns to her). Rot them into soup, and your brain comes pouring out of your ears. That's what television does. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE MAGPIE'S SHOP Outside, lightning flashes across the sky. Eddie walks past Magpie's shop. A moment later, a red bolt of electricity strikes Magpie's TV aerial. INT. MAGPIE'S SHOP Magpie is asleep, face down on the counter on his ledger. A constant beep from the television tells us there is nothing broadcasting- until it suddenly flickers into life with a jolt of the same red electricity. The Wire from earlier looks out from the screen. THE WIRE: Mister Magpie. (He stirs). Oh Mister Magpie! Magpie blearily sits up. MAGPIE: Eh? THE WIRE: Woo-hoo! Can you hear me, Magpie? MAGPIE (suspiciously): Yes... He turns to the source of the noise - and sees the Wire on the television screen. MAGPIE (CONT'D): I must be dreaming... THE WIRE: Oh no, this isn't a dream. MAGPIE: I'm going doolally, then. THE WIRE: Not at all, sweetheart. Now, are you sitting comfortably? Good. Then we'll begin. Three bolts of red electricity flash out from the television and onto Magpie's face. The Wire laughs and Magpie shouts as his face is pulled out towards the television. The Wire continues to laugh. OPENING CREDITS EXT. STREET A pavement and the bottom of the TARDIS. Two pink, high heeled shoes step out onto the pavement, along with a big pink skirt and layers of netting beneath. Rose, in full 50's regalia, brushes a strand of hair from her eyes as she walks out onto the street, looking around. ROSE: I thought we'd be going for the Vegas era, you know, the white flares and the... (growls seductively) chest hair. The Doctor pokes his head round the TARDIS door, his head gelled back, teddy-boy style. THE DOCTOR: You are kidding, aren't you? You wanna see Elvis, you go in the late 50's! The time before burgers. (He disappears back inside). When they called him "the Pelvis" and he still had a waist. Rose laughs. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) (from inside): What's more, you see him in style! Rose looks round to the TARDIS as she can hear the sound of an engine...as the Doctor rides out of the TARDIS on a blue late-50's moped! Rose laughs in amusement as the Doctor stops, big sunglasses and a white helmet on his head. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) (pulling Elvis-style expression and voice): You goin' my way, doll? ROSE (putting on a pair of pink sunglasses, in an American accent): Is there any other way to go, daddy-o? (She walks towards the moped). Straight from the fridge, man! THE DOCTOR (delighted): Hey, you speak the lingo! He tosses her a pink version of his helmet, she catches it and puts it on. ROSE: Yeah well... me, mum, Cliff Richard movies every Bank Holiday Monday. She sits behind him on the moped as he pulls an "I knew it! " face. THE DOCTOR: Ah, Cliff! I knew your mother'd be a Cliff fan. They drive off down the street. ROSE (over the noise of the engine): Where we off to? THE DOCTOR: Ed Sullivan TV Studios, Elvis did 'Hound Dog' on one of the shows, there were loads of complaints. Bit of luck, we'll just catch it. ROSE: And that'll be TV studios in, what, New York? THE DOCTOR (happily): That's the one! A red London bus drives past the end of the street, the Doctor stops. We spot a red post box and Union flag bunting hanging from rooftop to rooftop. The Doctor looks bemused, Rose laughs it off. ROSE: Digging that New York vibe! THE DOCTOR: Well... this could still be New York, I mean this looks very New York to me... sort of... Londony New York, mind.. ROSE: What are all the flags for? INT. CONNELLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM Tommy, Rita and Eddie are watching their new television - the theme song to "Muffin the Mule" is playing. EDDIE: Smashing! Smashing, ennit? You'd have thought they was in the room with ya, eh? Fair do's Tommy, you had a point! New television! There, that should cheer you up a bit, Rita. Give us a smile, then, eh? RITA (quietly, sadly): I can't. Nothing's the same any more, not with her... EDDIE (interrupts): Stop going on about it! RITA: But her face, Eddie! What happened to her? That awful face... EDDIE (shouts): I said stop it! A series of taps come from the room above, all the Connelleys look upward. RITA (quietly): She's awake... (To Tommy): I think she's hungry... EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE CONNELLYS' HOUSE Magpie throws open the doors to his van. Two errand boys take out a television and carry it into a house. The house owner looks on. MAGPIE: There you go, sir, all wired up for the great occasion. The Doctor and Rose walk past and hear him. THE DOCTOR: The great occasion? What d'you mean? MAGPIE: Where've you been living, out in the Colonies? Coronation, of course. THE DOCTOR: What Coronation's that, then? MAGPIE (bemused): What d'you mean? The Coronation. The Doctor looks blank, turns to Rose for help. ROSE: The Queen's. (Like it's obvious). Queen Elizabeth! THE DOCTOR (it clicks): Oh! Oh, is this 1953?! MAGPIE: Last time I looked. Time for a lovely bit of pomp and circumstance, what we do best. ROSE: (looking at the chimneys). Look at all the TV aerials... looks like everyone's got one. That's weird, my nan said tellies were so rare they all had to pile into one house. MAGPIE: Not round here, love. Magpie's Marvellous Tellies, only five quid a box. The Doctor has wandered a short way round the street, thinking. He suddenly cuts in, all smiles and energy. THE DOCTOR: Oh but this is a brilliant year! Classic! Technicolour, Everest climbed, everything off the ration. (He puts on a typically BBC English accent). The Nation throwing off the shadows of war and looking forward to a happier, brighter future! Rose laughs. Suddenly, a woman's shouts are heard. MRS GALLAGHER: Someone help me, please! Ted! A man with a blanket over his head is being bundled into a black police car by two suited men. The Doctor and Rose run over. MRS GALLAGHER (CONT'D): Leave him alone, it's my husband! THE DOCTOR: What's going on? The blanketed man is pushed into the back seat as Tommy runs out of his house. TOMMY: Oi, what are you doing?! One of the suited men addresses the Doctor. D.I BISHOP: Police business, now get out of the way, sir! ROSE (to Tommy): Who did they take, do you know him? TOMMY: Must be Mr Gallagher... The car drives off, leaving Mrs Gallagher in despair. Rita comes out of the Connelly house. TOMMY (CONT'D): It's happening all over the place. They're turning into monsters... Eddie storms out of the house. EDDIE (shouts to Tommy): Tommy! Not one word! Rose and the Doctor look at Eddie. EDDIE (CONT'D): Get inside now! TOMMY (to Rose and the Doctor): Sorry, I'd better do as he says... Mrs Gallagher is still sobbing, but the Doctor puts on his sunglasses again and runs over to the moped and kicks it into life. THE DOCTOR: All aboard! Eddie watches them drive off. EXT. STREET The black car hurtles round a corner. D.I. BISHOP: Operation Market Stall, go, go, go! Tall corrugated metal gates open at the end of the street and allow the black car through, closing behind it. Immediately, a wooden market barrow is wheeled in front of the gates and two men start sweeping the floor, as if they'd always been there. The Doctor and Rose come round the corner on the moped and stop short of the market stall. THE DOCTOR (bemused): Lost 'em! How'd they get away from us? ROSE: Surprised they didn't turn back and arrest you for reckless driving, have you actually passed your test?! THE DOCTOR (not listening): Men in black? Vanishing police cars? This is Churchill's England, not Stalin's Russia! ROSE (thoughtfully): Monsters, that boy said... The Doctor turns to her. ROSE (CONT'D): Maybe we should go and ask the neighbours. THE DOCTOR (sweetly): That's what I like about you. The domestic approach. ROSE (grins): Thank yow... (Thinks about it as the Doctor kicks the moped back into life). Hold on, was that an insult...? But they're off again. INT. MAGPIE'S SHOP A display tower of tellies are all showing the "no broadcast signal", apart from one, which Magpie is addressing. MAGPIE: I've finished it, as you instructed... He lays a strange contraption, a cross between a portable radio and a TV onto one of the tellies. THE WIRE: That's awfully good of you, Mister Magpie. MAGPIE: So you'll go soon? Leave me? THE WIRE (cheerfully): Oh, we'll see! If you're a very good boy. MAGPIE: Please... you're burning me... inside... behind my eyes, it hurts! Even my memories hurt! I just want things back like they used to be! THE WIRE: Oh, but this world of your is busy, busy, busy! Forging ahead into a brand new age, you can never go back! That's your tragedy. But now, the time is almost ripe, Magpie. Cometh the hour, cometh the man. (She laughs, coyly...). Or, lady... INT. CONNELLYS' HOUSE, LANDING Tommy approaches the bottom of the stairs nervously. He takes his time climbing them, pausing briefly as the banging from before starts again. On the landing, we see shadows moving beneath one of the doors... Tommy draws closer, key in hand. TOMMY (tentatively): Gran? Gran, it's me. It's Tommy. I'm gonna come in, Gran. Eddie comes quietly onto the landing, watching Tommy. TOMMY (CONT'D) (falteringly): Stand back... just don't... I'm sorry, but I've gotta come in. EDDIE (darkly): What d'you think you're doing? TOMMY: We've gotta try and help her, dad! EDDIE: Gimme that key. Tommy swallows but doesn't move. EDDIE (CONT'D): I said give me that key, right now. Tommy walks slowly towards him and holds out the key. Eddie snatches and pockets it. EDDIE (CONT'D) (threateningly): Don't think I'm finished with you. INT. CONNELLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM Downstairs, he gets right into Tommy's face. Rita looks on. EDDIE: All the warnings I've given you, and every time, every time, you disobey me! TOMMY: We can't just lock her away. EDDIE: Excuse me, sunshine, I am talking! And you can forget that college nonsense. You're going to come and work alongside me, get your hands dirty for once! A bang from upstairs. RITA (despairingly): Oh lord! Won't she ever stop?! The bang comes again, and again. Suddenly all caring, Eddie turns to Rita and takes her gently by the shoulders. EDDIE: There there, Rita, my sweet. Business as usual. Now let's get these up all over the house. (Gestures to Union Flags). In honour of her Majesty! RITA: But Eddie, what if she's dying? EDDIE (explodes): I am talling! The room goes silent, apart from the television in the background. Eddie calms. EDDIE (CONT'D): That's better. A little bit of hush. The doorbell rings. INT. CONNELLY'S HOUSE, HALLWAY Eddie opens the door to the Doctor and Rose, who are wearing identical cheesy grins. THE DOCTOR / ROSE (in adorable chorus): Hiiiiii! Eddie regards them both suspiciously, as Tommy lurks in the background. EDDIE: Who are you, then? THE DOCTOR: Let's see then, judging by the look of you, family man, nice house, decent wage, fought in the war, therefore, I represent Queen and country! (Holds up the psychic paper with a flourish). Just doing a little check of Her Majesty's forthcoming subjects for the great day. Don't mind if I come in? Nah, didn't think you did, thank you! He barges past Eddie before he can protest and Rose follows suit. They all go into the living room. INT. CONNELLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM THE DOCTOR: Not bad, very nice! Very well kept! I'd like to congratulate you, Mrs...? RITA (timidly): Connolly. EDDIE: Now then Rita, I can handle this. This gentleman's a proper representative! The Doctor gives Rita, who looks terrified, a wink. Rose perches herself on the arm of a chair. EDDIE (CONT'D): Don't mind the wife, she rattles on a bit. THE DOCTOR: Well, maybe she should rattle on a bit more. Tommy and Eddie both look shocked. The Doctor continues, unfazed. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): I'm not convinced you're doing your patriotic duty. He glances briefly at the flags around the room, waiting to be put up. THE DOCTOR: Nice flags. Why are they not flying? EDDIE (after a nervous pause): There we are Rita, I told you, get them up, Queen and country! The Doctor looks sceptical, and begins to move over to Eddie. RITA: I'm sorry... EDDIE: Get it done! Do it now. THE DOCTOR: Hold on a minute... EDDIE: Like the gentleman says. THE DOCTOR: Hold on a minute. You've got hands, Mr Connolly. Two big hands! Why is that your wife's job? EDDIE: It's housework, innit? THE DOCTOR: And that's a woman's job? EDDIE: Course it is! THE DOCTOR: Mr Connolly, what gender is the Queen? EDDIE (growing increasingly defensive): She's a female. THE DOCTOR: And are you suggesting the Queen does the housework? A small smile grows on Tommy's face as he watches the Doctor win the confrontation, as Eddie inevitably gives in to logic after a hesitation. Even Rita seems a little heartened by her husband's humiliation. EDDIE: No! Not at all! The Doctor hands Eddie a string of flags, giving him an insistent stare. THE DOCTOR: Then get busy. EDDIE: Right, yes sir. He sets about hanging the flags, feigning enthusiasm. Neither the Doctor, Tommy or Rose seem fooled. EDDIE (CONT'D): You'll be proud of us, sir! We'll have Union Jacks left, right and centre! Rose suddenly rises, hands on hips, as the Doctor slowly paces back across the room. ROSE: 'Scuse me, Mr Connolly, hang on a minute! Union Jacks? EDDIE (pausing in his work to look at her): Yes, that's right, isn't it? ROSE: That's the Union Flag. It's the Union Jack only when it's flown at sea. Tommy's smile grows into a grin, as Eddie tries to humble himself. EDDIE: Oh... oh, I'm sorry, I do apologise! ROSE (smiling widely): Well, don't get it wrong again, there's a good man. (With some force). Now get to it! Eddie hastily gets back to work, and Rose gives the Doctor a coy smile. Even he looks slightly bewildered! Rose and the Doctor both sit on the sofa, making themselves comfortable and grinning. THE DOCTOR: Right then! Nice and comfy, at Her Majesty's leisure! (Quietly, to Rose): Union Flag? ROSE: Mum went out with a sailor. THE DOCTOR: Oohohohoo! I bet she did! (Louder, speaking to the room again). Anyway, I'm the Doctor and this is Rose, and you are? He looks at Tommy, who seems surprised to be noticed. TOMMY: Tommy. The Doctor and Rose shift aside, making a space for Tommy to sit in between them. THE DOCTOR: Well, sit yourself down, Tommy. The Doctor the other chair, motioning for Rita to sit too. They all look at the television. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Have a look at this. I love telly, don't you? TOMMY: Yeah, I think it's brilliant! THE DOCTOR: Good man! They watch the programme, apparently about fossils, silently for a few moments before the Doctor turns around to check on Eddie, who is still hanging the flags. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Keep working Mr C! He turns to Rita, dropping the cheerful act and speaking quietly, so that Eddie does not hear. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Now, why don't you tell me what's wrong? RITA (somewhat reluctantly): Did you say you were a doctor? THE DOCTOR: Yes I am. RITA: Can you help her? Oh please, can you help her, Doctor? Eddie overhears this last part of the conversation, and interrupts. EDDIE: Now then Rita, I don't think the gentleman needs to know... THE DOCTOR (cutting him off): No, the gentleman does! Rita begins to cry, and Rose moves forward on her seat to address her. ROSE (gently): Tell us what's wrong, and we can help. Rita's sobs grow louder, and she just shakes her head helplessly. Rose goes over and wraps a comforting arm around her, and the Doctor watches with a concerned frown. ROSE (CONT'D): I'm sorry, come on, come on... EDDIE: Hold on a minute! Queen and country's one thing, but this is my house! He looks down at the flags in his hands, chucking them down. The Doctor props his head on his forearm and balled fist, appearing calm but giving the distinct impression that he's restraining himself. EDDIE: What the... what the hell am I doing? Now you listen here, Doctor! You may have fancy qualifications, but what goes on under my roof is my business! THE DOCTOR (scathingly): All the people are being bundled into... EDDIE (shouting): I am talking! The Doctor stands, raising his voice even louder than Eddie's and literally spitting in his face as he looms over him. THE DOCTOR: And I'm not listening! Now you, Mr Connolly, are staring into a deep, dark PIT of trouble if you don't let me help. Eddie is clearly shaken, and both Tommy and Rita look scared again, unsure how to react. Rose still holds onto Rita, giving her reassurance. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): So I'm ordering you, sir, to tell me what's going on! Eddie tries to think of something to say, but is stopped by the sound of banging coming from upstairs. His eyes and the Doctor's roll upwards, Tommy looks around nervously, and Rita sighs and shakes her head. EDDIE (with a degree of fear): She won't stop. The banging continues, louder this time. EDDIE (CONT'D): She never stops. Tommy finds the confidence to explain in a slightly shaky voice, and the Doctor turns to regard him. As he speaks, Rita looks upset and embarrassed, and Eddie guiltily tries to regain some composure. TOMMY: We started hearing stories, all round the place. People who've... changed. Families keeping it secret 'cause they were scared. The police started finding out. We don't know how, no one does. They just... turn up, come to the door and take 'em. Any time of the day or night. THE DOCTOR: Show me. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, GRAN'S BEDROOM It is dark, only blackness can be seen. A creaking sound is heard, the door opening, with Tommy peeking around it cautiously. TOMMY: Gran? It's Tommy. He opens the door wider, allowing the Doctor and the others behind to see inside the darkened room. TOMMY (CONT'D): 'S all right Gran, I've brought help. His Gran is standing by the window, a silhouette moving slowly towards them. Tommy steps a little further inside the room. He turns on the light, and we see that she has no face, all the features are gone, and it is smoothed over. Rose gulps, and the Doctor simply stares with a furrowed brow. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE CONNOLLY'S HOUSE A black police car arrives outside the house. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, GRAN'S BEDROOM The Doctor peers at the blank face. Rose stands near him, Tommy and Rita are close together behind the Doctor, and Eddie remains completely outside of the room with a grim expression. THE DOCTOR (with an air of fascination): Her face is completely gone. He scans it with the sonic screwdriver, and Rose still looks uneasy. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Scarcely an electrical impulse left. Almost complete neural shutdown, she's ticking over, like her brain has been... wiped clean. He puts the sonic screwdriver away, but still examines her face. TOMMY: What're we gonna do, Doctor? We can't even feed her! They are interrupted by the crash of the policemen entering the house. ROSE: We've got company... RITA: It's them, they've come for her! Eddie appears to be the only one pleased by this. THE DOCTOR (hurriedly): What was she doing before this happened? Where was she? Rita hesitates as the policemen clamber up the stairs. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Tell me, quickly, think! TOMMY: I can't think! She doesn't leave the house! She was just... He is cut off by the entrance of a big, burly man and some supporting officers. The Doctor tries to buy some time. THE DOCTOR: Hold on a minute! There are three important, brilliant, and complicated reasons why you should listen to me. One... Much to Rose's horror, the burly man punches the Doctor in the face, hard. He collapses, unconscious. ROSE: Doctor! The men take the opportunity to throw a blanket over Tommy's gran and usher her to the stairs, as Rose slaps the Doctor's cheeks in an attempt to wake him up. RITA: Leave her alone! The men barge Rita aside, leaving Tommy to catch her. Eddie just pushes the men away, encouraging them to leave quicker. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, HALLWAY They all go down the stairs apart from Rose who is left trying to rouse the Doctor. RITA (CONT'D): Mum! ROSE: Doctor! Doctor! RITA: Don't hurt her! EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE CONNOLLY'S HOUSE The men reach their car, and Eddie blocks the door. EDDIE: Back inside, Rita! RITA: She's my mother! EDDIE: Back inside now, I said! INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, GRAN'S BEDROOM Rose still slaps the Doctor's cheeks, and he suddenly sits up as if nothing had happened. THE DOCTOR: Ah, hell of a right hook! Have to watch out for that! He quickly stands and belts down the stairs. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE CONNOLLY'S HOUSE He is too late though, arriving as the car drives off, with Eddie still blocking the doorway. EDDIE: Don't fight it, back inside! The Doctor pushes past and runs to the moped, as Rose comes down the stairs as fast as she can in her dainty shoes. Eddie restrains Tommy and Rita. THE DOCTOR: Rose, come on! EDDIE: Get back inside! INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, HALLWAY Rose pauses at the entrance to the living room, noticing red, buzzing tendrils of electricity coming out of the television. TOMMY: But Dad, they took her! EDDIE: Go back inside, don't fight it... EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE CONNOLLY'S HOUSE The Doctor urgently calls out for Rose again as he fastens his helmet. THE DOCTOR: Rose, we're gonna lose them again! INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM Rose is torn between running to the Doctor and watching the television. The tendrils are absorbed back into the television, prompting her to move closer. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, HALLWAY Eddie still holds back Tommy. TOMMY: Dad, they took her! That was Gran and they took her! EDDIE: Come on, back inside now. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE CONNOLLY'S HOUSE The Doctor gives up waiting for Rose and rides off on his scooter, in pursuit of the car. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM Rose has meanwhile begun fumbling with the television set, turning it around to see the red electricity still buzzing along the aerial, and a large label saying Magpie Electricals. Tommy, Rita and Eddie come back into the living room. TOMMY: How did they find her? Who told 'em? EDDIE (noticing Rose): You! Get the hell out of my house! ROSE (getting up to leave): I'm going, I'm done! Nice to meet you Tommy, Mrs Connolly. And as for you, Mr Connolly, only an idiot hangs the Union Flag upside-down. Shame on you! She grins cheerfully before running out of the house. EXT. STREET The black police car swerves around a bend and straight through the same wooden doors of the warehouse that the Doctor and Rose reached earlier. The Doctor arrives, some way behind on his much slower vehicle, only to see that the car has disappeared in what appears to be a dead end. The doors are closed and there is only the same two workmen, apparently clearing away some rubbish from the stall and sweeping the street. The Doctor stops and swiftly works out what must have happened, both now and earlier. THE DOCTOR (appreciatively to the men): Oh, very good! Very good! EXT. STREET He walks around the building, looking for a way in. He eventually finds a small gate at the side, and breaks in with the sonic screwdriver. INT. WAREHOUSE He observes two policemen locking up some more cage-like gates. He walks over when they have gone, and sees that they contain several dozen people. He opens those gates too with the sonic screwdriver, and finds that the people in the enclosure all have no faces. They can only clench and unclench their fists in a creepy, almost mechanical manner, and shuffle towards the Doctor. Suddenly, a bright light flares on. The Doctor turns around and squints, seeing the two policemen who had locked up the cages earlier, standing in front of the headlamps of their car. D.I. BISHOP: Stay where you are! INT. MAGPIE'S SHOP Rose enters Magpie's shop, where Magpie is adjusting a TV set on the counter. He looks up nervously as she comes in. MAGPIE: Oh, I, I'm sorry miss, I'm afraid you're too late. I was just about to lock the door. Rose shuts the door and stays anyway. ROSE: Yeah? Well, I wanna buy a telly. MAGPIE: Come back tomorrow. Please. ROSE: You'll be closed, won't ya? MAGPIE (genuinely confused): What? ROSE: For the big day? The coronation... MAGPIE: Yes, yes, of course. The big day. He tries to make Rose go away as she walks over to him. MAGPIE (CONT'D): I'm sure you'll find somewhere to watch it. Please go. ROSE: Seems to me half of London's got a television, since you're practically giving them away. MAGPIE: I have my reasons. ROSE: And what are they? Before he can answer, one of the televisions on display tunes itself, and the Wire appears on the screen. THE WIRE: Hungry! Hungry! ROSE: What's that? MAGPIE: It's just a television. One of these modern programmes. Now, I really do think you should leave! Right now! ROSE: Not until you've answered my questions. How comes your televisions are so cheap? MAGPIE: It's my patriotic duty. Seems only right that as many folk as possible get to watch the coronation. We may be losing the Empire but we can still be proud! Twenty million people they reckon'll be watching! Imagine that! Rose smiles, obviously not convinced. MAGPIE (CONT'D) (now urgent): And twenty million people can't be wrong, eh? So why don't you get yourself back home and get up, bright and early, for the big day? ROSE: Nah, I'm not leaving 'til I've seen everything. MAGPIE: I need to close. ROSE: Mr Magpie, something's happening out there. Ordinary people are being struck down and changed, and the only new thing in the house is a television. Your television. What's going on? MAGPIE (finally giving up all pretence): I knew this would happen. I knew I'd be found out. He locks the door. Rose looks uneasy. ROSE (cautiously): All right, then, it's just you and me... you gonna come clean, then? What's really in it for you? MAGPIE: For me? Perhaps some peace. ROSE: From what? MAGPIE: From Her. He glances over at the Wire on the television screen. Rose follows his gaze. ROSE: That's just a woman on the telly, that's just a programme. THE WIRE: What a pretty little girl. ROSE (stares): Oh, my God, are you talking to me? THE WIRE: Yes, I'm talking to you, little one. Unseasonably chilly for the time of year, don't you think? ROSE (breathlessly): What are you? THE WIRE: I'm the Wire. And I'm hungrrrrrrrrrryyyyyy...! She bares her teeth - pinkish purplish bolts of electricity shoot out of the screen and encompass Rose's face, sucking... ROSE: Magpie, help me! MAGPIE (sadly): Just think of that audience tomorrow, my dear... Rose moans. MAGPIE: All sitting down to watch the coronation. Twenty million people. Things will never be the same again. (He sounds close to tears). I'm sorry. So sorry. ROSE (helplessly): Help me. Magpie averts his eyes as Rose's face is sucked into the screen. Rose whimpers and groans. THE WIRE (serenely): Goodnight, children. Everywhere. INT. BISHOP'S OFFICE D.I. BISHOP: Start from the beginning, tell me everything you know. He is standing over the Doctor, who is sat at the other side of Bishop's desk. THE DOCTOR (seriously): Well... for starters... I know you can't wrap your hand around your elbow and make your fingers meet. D.I. BISHOP (pointing at him, reprimanding): Don't get clever with me. You were there today at Florizel Street, and now breaking into this establishment. Now, you're connected with this. Make no mistake. THE DOCTOR: Well, the thing is, Detective Inspector Bishop... D.I. BISHOP: How do you know my name? THE DOCTOR (apologetically): It's... written inside your collar. Bishop looks slightly embarrassed and adjusts his collar. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Bless your mum. But, I can't help thinking, Detective Inspector, you're not exactly doing much detective inspecting. Are you? D.I. BISHOP: I'm doing everything in my power. THE DOCTOR: All you're doing is grabbing those faceless people and hiding them as fast as you can. Don't tell me, orders from above, hmm? Coronation Day... The eyes of the world are on London Town... so any sort of problem just gets swept out of sight. The Doctor is spinning from side to side in the chair, completely relaxed. Bishop looks slightly irritated that the Doctor already seems knows all about their inside goings-on. D.I. BISHOP: The nation has an imagine to maintain. THE DOCTOR (incredulous): Doesn't it drive you mad? Doing nothing? Don't you wanna get out there and investigate? D.I. BISHOP: Course I do. But... He sits down, ready to confide in the Doctor. D.I. BISHOP (CONT'D): With all the crowds expected, we haven't got the man-power. Even if we did... this is... beyond anything we've ever seen. (Helpless). I just don't know anymore. Twenty years on the force... (The Doctor leans towards him, listening carefully) ... I don't even know where to start. We haven't the faintest clue what's going on. THE DOCTOR: Well... that could change. D.I. BISHOP: How? The Doctor stands, looking down at D.I. Bishop, it's as though their roles have been reversed. THE DOCTOR: Start from the beginning. Tell me everything you know. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. WAREHOUSE A black car pulls into the warehouse. Two men get out and pull someone covered in a blanket out of the back seat, and they lead the figure away. INT. BISHOP'S OFFICE The Doctor and Bishop are standing by a large map on a stand. D.I. BISHOP: We started finding them about a month ago. Persons left sans visage. Heads just... blank. THE DOCTOR: Is there any sort of pattern? He examines a file he finds on a nearby desk. D.I. BISHOP: Yes, spreading out from North London. All over the City. Men, women, kids... grannies... the only real lead is there's been quite a large number in... THE DOCTOR: Florizel Street. There is a knock at the door. The Doctor and Bishop look up. POLICEMAN: Found another one, sir. The man we saw ushering the blanket-covered figure from the car earlier appears in the doorway, except now we see the figure is wearing a familiar pink voluminous skirt with matching pink shoes... D.I. BISHOP: Oh, er, good man, Crabtree. Here we are, Doctor... The Doctor drops the files on the table and walks slowly towards Rose, not wanting to believe it... D.I. BISHOP (CONT'D): Take a good look. See what you can deduce. The policeman takes the blanket off Rose's head. The Doctor's eyes widen with horror as he approaches her. THE DOCTOR: Rose. D.I. BISHOP: Do you know her? THE DOCTOR: Know her? She... He goes right up close to her, staring down at her featureless face. The voices in the background fade out, meaningless to him. POLICEMAN (to Bishop): They found her in the street, apparently, over at Master Square, abandoned. D.I. BISHOP : That's unusual, that's the first one out in the open. Heaven help us if something happens in public tomorrow for the big day, we'll have Torchwood on our back, make no mistake. The Doctor is gazing down at Rose, heartbroken. THE DOCTOR (coldly, interrupting): They did what? D.I. BISHOP: I'm sorry? THE DOCTOR (forced calm): They left her where? D.I. BISHOP: Just... in the street. THE DOCTOR (quietly): In the street. They left her in the street. They took her face and just chucked her out and left her in the street. And as a result, that makes things... simple. Very, very simple. Do you know why? He finally tears his gaze away from Rose's face, and takes his glasses off, turning to the two men. D.I. BISHOP: No... THE DOCTOR (shouting, furious): Because now, Detective Inspector Bishop, there is no power on this Earth that can stop me. Come on! And without a moments hesitation, he makes for the door. EXT. STREET The Doctor and Bishop burst out of the gates into the dawn sunlight. D.I. BISHOP: The big day dawns... The Doctor does not reply. He moves on immediately. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM A small boy is fiddling with the television in the Gallagher household. A little girl comes over and slaps his hand away. The room is crowded with people, presumably friends and family, all chatting. Eddie comes through the front door, closing it behind him. Rita approaches. He looks down at her menacingly. EDDIE (voice low, threatening): You've had your fun with your little Doctor... but now you're left with me, Rita. So you'll behave yourself. And smile. Too scared to disobey, Rita fixes a smile upon her face. They enter the crowded living room together, all smiles. EDDIE (CONT'D): Here we go, everyone! Here we go! Grub's up, grub's up, tuck in, take a sandwich. He squeezes into the room. The first footage of the coronation appears on the television. EDDIE (CONT'D): Oh, here we go, here we go, it's started! Take your places, sit down, sit down. They all settle themselves down in chairs or on the floor. AUNTY BETTY (very impressed): Rita, love! Just look at that tellybox then, eh? Innit marvellous? The picture's so clear! EDDIE (leaning forward to talk to her): Here, Beth, I says to Rita, I says: "You didn't need to get your hair done special, love! The Queen won't be able to see you! " Aunty Betty and Eddie laugh. Rita is obviously not amused, but smiles politely anyway. Tommy looks affronted at this joke at his mother's expense. AUNTY BETTY (to Rita): Where's your old mum, then? She can't go missing it! RITA: Sorry, um... mum can't make it down. AUNTY BETTY: Ahh, bless her. Maybe we could pop up and see her later. TOMMY: Maybe you could. It's a good idea. What do you think, dad? Maybe Aunty Betty could go and see gran later? Eddie fumes at him silently. He laughs it off to Aunty Betty. EDDIE: Oh, he loves his gran, this one. Proper little mummy's boy all round! AUNTY BETTY: Oh, you know what they say about them. Eddie, you want to beat that out of him. EDDIE (laughs): That's exactly what I'm gonna do. He throws Tommy a threatening look. The doorbell rings. TOMMY: I'll get it. He goes to answer the door, leaving everyone else watching the TV. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, HALLWAY He opens the door, and the Doctor is standing there with Bishop. THE DOCTOR: Tommy, talk to me. Tommy steps outside the door, closing it behind him. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): I need to know exactly what happened inside your house. Eddie pulls the door open violently and rounds on Tommy. EDDIE (roughly): What the blazes do you think you're doing? TOMMY: I wanna help, dad. THE DOCTOR (warningly): Mr Connolly... EDDIE: Shut your face, you. Whoever you are. We can handle this ourselves. (Turns back to Tommy). Listen you, little twerp. You're hardly out of the bloomin' cradle, so I don't expect you to understand. But I've got a position to maintain. (The Doctor and Bishop watch). People round here respect me. It matters what people think. TOMMY: Is that why you did it, dad? EDDIE (taken aback): What d'you mean? Did what? TOMMY: You ratted on gran. How else would the police know where to look? Unless some coward told them... EDDIE (raging): How dare you? You think I fought a war just so a mouthy little scum like you could call me a coward? TOMMY: You don't get it, do you? You fought against fascism, remember? People telling you how to live, who you could be friends with, who you could fall in love with, who could live and who had to die. Don't you get it? You were fighting so that little twerps like me could do what we want. Say what we want. Now you've become just like them. You've been informing on everyone, haven't you? Even gran. All to protect your precious reputation. Rita has heard. She joins them. RITA: Eddie... is that true? EDDIE: I did it for US, Rita! She was filthy. A filthy, disgusting thing. RITA (shocked, quietly): She's my mother. All the others, you informed on all the people in our street, our friends. EDDIE: I had to. (He flails slightly): I did the right thing...! RITA: The right thing for us... or for you, Eddie? Eddie stares at her. Rita turns to Tommy. RITA: You go, Tommy. You go with the Doctor and do some good. Get away from this house. It's poison. We had a ruddy monster under this roof, all right, but it weren't my mother! Close to tears, she goes back inside, slamming the door on Eddie's face. MAN INSIDE (concerned): Rita? EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE CONNOLLY'S HOUSE THE DOCTOR: Tommy? Tommy, the Doctor and D.I. Bishop walk away down the street, leaving Eddie alone, locked outside his house. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM Rita goes back into the crowded living room. AUNTY BETTY: What was all that, then? RITA (sitting down): That was... that was the sound of something ending. And about time too. Everyone all right? She looks around, they nod. RITA (CONT'D): Smashing. Nothing's gonna spoil our big day, is it? They all turn back to the television. The Queen's carriage rolls through the crowds. EXT. STREET The streets are busy as people prepare for a street party. The Doctor, Tommy and Bishop walk along. THE DOCTOR: Tommy, tell me about that night. The night she changed. TOMMY: She was just watching the telly. THE DOCTOR (with realisation, looking up at the TV aerials): Rose said it. She guessed it straight away, of course she did. All these aerials in one little street, how come? TOMMY: Bloke up the road, Mr Magpie, he's selling them cheap. Without even waiting for Tommy to finish his sentence, the Doctor's off, running down the road. D.I. BISHOP: Is he, now? THE DOCTOR (yelling back): Come on! EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE MAGPIE'S SHOP The Doctor smashes the glass in Magpie's door in order to gain entry to the shop. D.I. BISHOP (protesting): Here, you can't do that... The Doctor ignores him. INT. MAGPIE'S SHOP He's already opened the door and is striding to the counter. THE DOCTOR (yells): Shop? He presses the bell on the counter repeatedly. He shouts to the back of the shop. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): If you're here, come out and talk to me! MAGPIE? TOMMY: Maybe he's out. THE DOCTOR: Looks like it... He starts rifling through the drawers behind the counter. He finds the device that looks like a cross between a portable radio and TV. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Oh, hello... this isn't right. This is very much not right. He licks it, much to the surprise of Tommy and Bishop. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Tastes like iron. Bakelite. He places it down on the counter. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Put together with human hands, yes, but the design itself... He scans it with his sonic screwdriver. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Oh, beautiful work. That is so simple. D.I. BISHOP: That's incredible. It's like a television, but portable. A portable television! The Doctor raises his sonic screwdriver, points it around the room, the televisions turn on to static. THE DOCTOR: It's not the only power source in this room... As the screwdriver whirrs, the static gradually fades away and on each screen is a different face, the faces of the people who were taken by the Wire. The all look terrified, mouthing pleas for help. The Doctor looks around at them, brow furrowed. Tommy notices his gran's face in one. TOMMY: Gran? He looks horrified. The Doctor, who, had obviously been looking for her, finds Rose's face on one of the screens. She is mouthing "Doctor, Doctor" over and over again. He kneels before the screen, looking both sad and intense. THE DOCTOR: I'm on my way. MAGPIE (entering from the back of the shop): What do you think you're doing? THE DOCTOR (rounding on him, thunderous): I want my friend restored and I think that's beyond a little backstreet electrician so tell me, who's really in charge here? Magpie flinches at his anger. THE WIRE: Yoohoo! I think that must be me. She has appeared on one of the screens. The Doctor turns to her, surprised. THE WIRE (CONT'D): Ooh, this one's smart as paint. The Doctor approaches the Wire. D.I. BISHOP: Is she talking to us? MAGPIE: Sorry gentlemen, I'm... I'm afraid you've brought this on yourselves. May I introduce you to my new... friend. THE WIRE: Jolly nice to meet you. D.I. BISHOP: Oh my God, it's her, that woman off the telly. THE DOCTOR: No, it's just using her image. TOMMY: What... what are you? THE WIRE: I'm the Wire, and I will gobble you up, pretty boy. Every last morsel. And when I have feasted, I shall regain the corporeal body, which my fellow-kind denied me. The screen gradually colourizes. D.I. BISHOP: Good Lord, colour television! THE DOCTOR: So your own people tried to stop you? THE WIRE: They executed me. But I escaped, in this form, and fled across the stars. THE DOCTOR: And now you're trapped in the television. The smirk fades from the Wire's face, and with it, the colour from the television. THE WIRE: Not for much longer. TOMMY :Is this what got my gran? THE DOCTOR: Yes, Tommy. It feeds off the electrical activity of the brain, but it gorges itself like a great overfed pig. Taking people's faces, their essences, it stuffs itself. D.I. BISHOP: And you let her do it, Magpie. MAGPIE: I had to! She allowed me my face! She's promised to release me at the time of manifestation. TOMMY: What does that mean? THE WIRE (hinting): The appointed time, my crowning glory. D.I. BISHOP: Doctor, the coronation! THE DOCTOR: For the first time in history, millions gathered around a television set. (Approaches her, gloating). But you're not strong enough yet, are you? You can't do it all from here. That's why you need this! He produces the portable television. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): You need something more powerful! This will turn a big transmitter into a big receiver. THE WIRE: What a clever thing you are! But why fret about it? why not just relax? Kick off your shoes and enjoy the coronation. Believe me, you'll be glued to the screen. Lines of red sparking light suddenly pull all three faces into the Wire's TV, the Doctor, Tommy and the Inspector. TOMMY / D.I. BISHOP: Doctor! THE WIRE: Hungry! Hungry! The Wire is hungry! Ah! This one is tasty. Oh! I'll have lashings of him! Delicious! Ah! The Doctor slowly pulls out his sonic screwdriver, with effort. THE WIRE (CONT'D): Armed! He's armed and clever! Withdraw! Withdraw! She severs the connection between herself and them, and all three fall to the floor, unconscious. THE WIRE (CONT'D): The box, Magpie! The box! Magpie runs and gets the box. He holds it up to the Wire. THE WIRE (CONT'D): Hold tight... The Wire jumps via red light into the portable television. THE WIRE (CONT'D): Conduct me to my victory, Magpie. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE MAGPIE'S SHOP Magpie leaves his shop, running outside and into his van. INT. MAGPIE'S VAN He puts the Wire behind the steering wheel so he can still see her. THE WIRE: Hungry! Hungry! Feed me! INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM Back in the Connolly's house, everyone is watching the TV. AUNTY BETTY: So lovely! RITA: Beautiful! Makes you forget all your troubles. Everyone all right for pop? INT. MAGPIE'S SHOP THE DOCTOR (waking up and seeing the Inspector has no face): Tommy, wake up! Tommy! Come on! TOMMY: What happened? THE DOCTOR: Where's Magpie? They both run outside the shop and see Magpie has gone. TOMMY: We don't even know where to start looking, it's too late. THE DOCTOR: It's never too late, as a wise person once said, Kylie I think... But the Wire's got a big plan... so it'll need... Yes, yes, yes, it's got to harness half the population... millions and millions of people... and where are we? TOMMY: Muswell Hill. THE DOCTOR: Muswell Hill. Muswell Hill! Which means... He looks around until he spots a large building on the horizon and gestures at it with both hands. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Alexandra Palace, biggest TV transmitter in North London! Ohh! That's why they chose this place! Tommy? TOMMY: What are you going to do? THE DOCTOR (dashing inside the shop): We're going shopping. INT. MAGPIE'S VAN The Wire chuckles malevolently as the van drives through the streets. We see Tommy running to join the Doctor. INT. MAGPIE'S SHOP Tommy and the Doctor are gathering equipment. Tommy holds up a device. TOMMY: Is this what you want? THE DOCTOR: Perfect! Right, I need one more thing. He gives the equipment to Tommy. INT. MAGPIE'S VAN The van continues to drive. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE MAGPIE'S SHOP Tommy and the Doctor run out on the streets, both loaded with equipment. THE DOCTOR: Got it, let's go. EXT. ALEXANDRA PALACE We zoom in on the TV transmitter, and see all the camera crew getting ready. Magpie stops his van, gets out, grabs the portable TV and runs up a flight of metal stairs towards the transmitter. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM In the Connolly's house, we see black and white footage of the coronation, and everyone watching the TV. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE ALEXANDRA PALACE Magpie runs up a flight of stairs to the bottom of the transmitter with the Wire. EXT. STREET Tommy and the Doctor run down a street, the Doctor plugging a device into Tommy's huge equipment bank that he is carrying. EXT. TRANSMITTER Magpie climbs up the transmitter with huge effort, sweating. He stops and speaks to the wire in the portable TV. MAGPIE: I cant do this! Please... please don't make me! THE WIRE: The time is at hand. Feed me! Feed me! EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE ALEXANDRA PALACE Tommy and the Doctor continue to run. Tommy spots Magpie on the pylon. TOMMY: There! THE DOCTOR: Come on! OFFICIAL :Woah, Woah, woah! Where do you think... The Doctor shows him his psychic paper. OFFICIAL (CONT'D): Oh! I'm sorry sir! Shouldn't you be at the coronation? THE DOCTOR: They're saving me a seat. The official nods confusedly. TOMMY (rounding a corner): Who did he think you were? THE DOCTOR (looking): King of Belgium, apparently. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM In the Connolly's house, crowds cheer on the television and we see the family watching the TV and more black-and-white footage of the coronation. INT. ALEXANDRA PALACE, CONTROL ROOM The Doctor dashes around gathering the equipment he needs, Tommy is in front of a video machine and television screen. THE DOCTOR: Keep it switched on. Don't let anyone stop you, Tommy. Everything depends on it. You understand? Tommy nods. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM The crowd in the Connolly's sitting room smile appreciatively at the footage of the Coronation on the television. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE ALEXANDRA PALACE The Doctor sprints back around the corner, past the confused official, trailing a stream of magnetic recording tape behind him from a reel around his waist. He runs up the metal stairs and begins climbing up the transmitter, following Magpie. OFFICIAL: You'll get yourself killed up there! Your Majesty! EXT. TRANSMITTER Magpie has reached the mains plug. THE WIRE: Feed me! Magpie plugs his TV in to the main current and the Wire laughs triumphantly. Across the country, TV aerials draw in the sparks emitted for the pylon and people watching the TV are pulled in by the red electricity. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM The whole Connolly family get pulled in. EXT. TRANSMITTER THE WIRE: Oh! Feast! Feast... ing! The Wire... is feasting. We hear people scream as they are sucked in. MAGPIE: It's too late! It's too late for all of us! THE WIRE: I shall consume you... Doctor. The Doctor is blasted in the face with red light and he cries out. THE DOCTOR (shouting): I won't let you do this, Magpie! MAGPIE: Help me Doctor! It burns! It took my face, my soul! THE WIRE: You cannot stop the Wire. Soon I shall become manifest. The Doctor is blasted again. MAGPIE: No more of this! You promised me peace! THE WIRE: And peace you shall have. Magpie is blown into thousands of particles with the red light. The Wire laughs as he screams and dies. The Doctor tries to touch the portable TV but is zapped by red sparks on his hand. THE DOCTOR: Been burning the candle at both ends? You've overextended yourself missus. You shouldn't have had a crack at poor old Magpie there. The Doctor picks up the TV as he is zapped in the foot THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Rubber souls! Swear by them! He inserts a switch into the TV, downstairs we see the machine spark and break, and nothing happens to the Wire. THE WIRE: Oh dear! Has our little plan gone horribly wrong, Doctor? The Wire laughs as the Doctor stares, horrified. INT. ALEXANDRA PALACE, CONTROL ROOM Back downstairs, Tommy realises which device has broken, quickly finds a new one, re-places it and re-plugs the machine. EXT. TRANSMITTER The Doctor watches as the light beams retreat from the pylons, televisions and people, right back into the Wire's portable television. She writhes and wails with pain, thwarted. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM The Connolly family feel their faces, shocked, but unharmed. INT. ALEXANDRA PALACE, CONTROL ROOM Tommy is grinning as he realises the plan is working. EXT. TRANSMITTER THE DOCTOR: It's closed down, I'm afraid, and no epilogue. With one last piecing shriek from the Wire, the television switches off. The Doctor stares at it for a moment. INT. WAREHOUSE The faceless people in their cells have been cured and smile at each other as they orientate themselves, feeling their faces. INT. ALEXANDRA PALACE, CONTROL ROOM Tommy is watching the coronation on one of the screens when the Doctor returns to him. THE DOCTOR: What have I missed? TOMMY: Doctor! What happened? THE DOCTOR: Sorted. Electrical creature, TV technology, clever alien life form, that's me by the way. I turned the receiver back into a transmitter and I trapped the Wire in here. (He indicates the video). I just invented the home video 30 years earlier. Betamax. He notices the TV, and the coronation footage on the screen. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Oh look! God save the Queen, eh? INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM The Connolly family watch the coronation ceremony ending, beaming with pride. We see more coronation footage. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE CONNOLLY'S HOUSE Tommy and the Doctor return to their street. There are loads of people milling around and meeting loved ones. TOMMY (spotting her): Gran! GRAN: Look, it's my grandson! Oh son! Tommy runs to his gran and they hug each other. The Doctor scans the crowds for Rose, and spots her at about exactly the time she spots him. A wide smile spreads across her face, which the Doctor returns, quickening his pace towards her. She laughs, just so happy to see him again and he throws his arms around her, lifting her right off the ground in a huge hug. She clings to him, grinning widely and burying her face in his shoulder. INT. CONNOLLY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM In the Connolly's now deserted living room, Rita and Eddie stand facing each other. Rita is holding a battered suitcase. RITA: This was never your house. It's in my mother's name. And on her behalf I'm telling you, out. She places the suitcase between them on the floor. Eddie, recognising defeat, picks it up and leaves. Rita watches him go with an air of relief. EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE CONNOLLY'S HOUSE Out on the street, 50's music is playing, people are out on the street dancing and talking. Trestle tables line the centre of the road covered in pastries, cakes, drinks, etc. The Doctor and Rose walk down the street. ROSE: We could go down the mall, join in with the crowd. THE DOCTOR (eating victoria sponge): Nah, that's just pomp and circumstance. This is history right here. ROSE: The domestic approach. THE DOCTOR: Exactly. They laugh. ROSE: Will it... that thing... is it trapped for good, on video? THE DOCTOR: Hope so. Just to be on the safe side though, I'll use my unrivaled knowledge of trans temporal extirpation methods to neutralise the residual electronic pattern. ROSE: You what? THE DOCTOR: I'm going to tape over it. ROSE (laughing): Just leave it to me, I'm always doing that. They meet Tommy. THE DOCTOR: Tell you what Tommy, you can have the scooter. Little present. Best... um... keep it in the garage for a few years though, eh? Behind them, Eddie walks down the street with his suitcase as Rita embraces her mother. TOMMY (looking over the Doctor's shoulder): Good riddance. THE DOCTOR: Is that it then, Tommy? New monarch, new age, new world, no room for a man like Eddie Connelly. TOMMY: That's right. He deserves it. Rose has detected the hint of unconditional love for his father underneath his harsh words. She nudges his shoulder. ROSE: Tommy, go after him. TOMMY: What for? ROSE: He's your dad. TOMMY: He's an idiot. ROSE: Course he is. Like I said, he's your dad. But you're clever. Clever enough to save the world so don't stop there. Go on! She smiles, giving him another nudge. Convinced, Tommy runs to join his dad. They walk side by side and Tommy takes his dad's bag for him. They continue down the street together. Doctor and Rose watch them fondly from a distance. The Doctor hands Rose a glass of orange juice. They chink their glasses together, smiling.	Plan: A: Rose; Q: Who finds out that the Wire has taken over Mr Magpie's shop? A: London; Q: Where is Muswell Hill located? A: 1953; Q: When did the Doctor and Rose land in Muswell Hill? A: The Doctor befriends teenager Tommy Connolly; Q: Who does the Doctor befriend in Muswell Hill? A: any facial features; Q: What does Tommy Connolly's grandmother lack? A: television sets; Q: What did Tommy Connolly's grandmother purchase? A: Magpie Electricals; Q: What shop is owned by Mr Magpie? A: the Wire; Q: Who is the entity that Mr Magpie is under the influence of? A: an electrical form; Q: What has the Wire converted herself to? A: the televisions; Q: What is the Wire using to consume minds? A: its body; Q: What is the Wire trying to rebuild? A: Rose's face; Q: What does the Wire take from Rose? A: the Wire's plan; Q: What does the Doctor foil with a device he creates? A: faces; Q: What does the Wire take from Rose? Summary: The Doctor and Rose land in Muswell Hill , London in 1953 on the day before Queen Elizabeth II 's coronation . The Doctor befriends teenager Tommy Connolly, whose grandmother is hidden because she lacks any facial features and has no brain activity, a phenomenon that is common with those who have purchased television sets sold cheap for the coronation from Magpie Electricals, owned by Mr Magpie . Rose, investigating the shop, finds that Mr Magpie is under the influence of an entity known as " the Wire ", a refugee who has converted herself to an electrical form and is using the televisions and hopefully the upcoming coronation to consume enough minds to rebuild its body; she takes Rose's face as well. In discovery of this the Doctor is outraged and foils the Wire's plan with a device he creates, and those whose minds and faces were consumed are returned and London can safely watch the coronation.
Opening scene - The Diner - Seth and Ryan are sitting in a booth together opposite each other. on the table they have college brochures forms etc. Seth has a finger against his eyebrow, seemingly deep in thought Seth: ok, picture me in college (frowns) uhhh big fish in a small pond or small fish in a big pond Ryan: I don't know I never really pictured you (squints) living in a (softly) pond Seth: (holds hands out, shakes head) me neither, you know finding the right college ought'a be more soulful than this Ryan: well you gotta fill it out there (raises eyebrows) due today (Summer and Marissa come in and walk over to their guys) Summers: what's due today (Seth scoots over so Summer can sit. Ryan does the same for Marissa) Ryan: hey, good timing Marissa: hey (smiles) (picks up paper, reads) picking the perfect college Summer: oh crap I totally spaced out, does anyone have an extra one Ryan: (hands one to Summer) there you go (points) remember, meeting with the college councilor today (Marissa looks at Ryan and then Summer. she looks a little left out) Summer: that's gonna be so stressful, I can't even pick out my shoes in the morning led alone plan the rest'a my life (Marissa looks down, almost sadly) Seth: oh It's ok it's only four years an (frowns) according to this brochure its supposed'ta be the high point of an otherwise miserable existence (looks at Summer, strokes her hair and smiles) Summer: well these kids look pretty happy, look Coop two girls looking at a microscope (holds up brochure) an smiling that could be us Marissa: mm yeah (shakes head) I don't think so Summer: (frowns) Coop are you ok Seth: course she's ok she gets to leave Newport (Marissa looks at him) we all do, think about this pretty soon we're gonna be livin in real cities with like (Marissa looks down) real non botoxed non plastic people Summer: (looks at Seth) Cohen shut up (looks at Marissa, worried) Seth: an weather, how bout like a little weather for a change (Ryan touches Marissa, Marissa looks at him and forces a smile) you know what I mean I'm not talkin about its cloudy with a chance'a drizzle weather (almost excited) I'm talkin about snow storm seal your windows with duct tape weather that's what I want Marissa: you know- guys it's getting late I think I'm jus gonna go (sits forward) Ryan: you alright (looks at Marissa) Seth: did I mention that i would get ta wear wool, like I would actually get to wear like a real wool sweater same time: Summer: (closes eyes) shut up! Ryan: shut up! Seth: sorry (looks down) Summer: Coop what's wrong Marissa: nothing I mean this whole college thing its great (raises eyebrows) for you guys...I'm jus not gonna get to be apart of it (Ryan looks from Marissa to Summer/Seth) Summer: what're you talking about Marissa: look I've done the research, with my background (raises eyebrows) my history, I don't have a chance at getting in (Summer frowns then looks at Ryan) Marissa: (stands, nonchalantly) I'm jus...not going to college, that's all (leaves) (Summer watches Marissa leave, worried) Seth: (frowns) an there's a different approach (we see a close up of Ryan's stunned face {Ok I just have to say where the hell did "I love cold weather Seth Cohen come from? he is the one who wouldn't go out to the Pool House in a storm, lol) Theme song - California by Phantom Planet Cohen kitchen - Sandy is standing near the dining table getting ready for work and Kirsten walks in Kirsten: so, what's on the agenda today Sandy: oh it's packed, you don't wanna know Kirsten: sure I do (looks at Sandy almost eagerly) Sandy: ok, conference call with the zoning board lunch with a couple of investors, gotta over see Ramsey's presentation for tomorrows meeting (looks at Kirsten) want me to go on Kirsten: I do (smiles) believe it or not it sounds exciting (laughs) Sandy: what, more so than perfecting the art of soufflé, speaking of, that one you made last night it was top notch Kirsten: (looks at Sandy) Sandy, I'm going crazy Sandy: (looks at Kirsten) what Kirsten: it's the sifting the kneading the measuring, I can't take it anymore I need to get outta the kitchen (raises eyebrows, grins creepily) Sandy: honey Kirsten: it's-it's not the cooking I hate, it's the quiet (raises eyebrows) Sandy: oh we're gonna have'ta get use to a quiet house Kirsten: I know, the boys started filling out their college forms today (smiles proudly) Sandy: well look on the upside, Seth'll be right up the road at Berkeley (smiles, moves closer to Kirsten) Kirsten: ooooh I wouldn't be so sure, remember before Ryan came Seth was dead set on going to a boarding school on the east coast, he wants outta California Sandy: (looks at Kirsten) that was years ago (shrugs) he was a kid Kirsten: Sandy (Sandy looks at her) Seth has never said that he wants to go to Berkeley (raises eyebrows) Sandy: (quickly) but he never said he didn't (kisses Kirsten) try not to go too stir crazy (leaves) Kirsten: ill try (Sandy leaves and Kirsten smiles, then the smile goes and we see her standing in the empty quiet kitchen, she sighs) CUT TO: Newport Union - Marissa is at her locker. Johnny and Dennis walk over to her Dennis: (calls) Marissa! (Marissa looks) (points) brace yourself, you my friend are in the presence...of a celebrity Marissa: I am Dennis: Harper here is moments (touches Johnny's shoulder) away from being a surfing legend Johnny: I don't know man I still have'ta make it through this weekend (shrugs) Dennis: an assuming that you shred it out there (points) your gonna be picked for PacWest two thousand six team Marissa: oh well that's great (puts book in bag) congratulations Dennis: Cooper (Marissa looks) a little enthusiasm buddy this is (points to himself) a banner day for Dennis Childers Johnny: it's a banner day for you... Dennis: yeah, you might get to be the star but I get to be the entourage (Johnny shakes his head) which is a way better deal anyways we're talkin free shwag uh VIP parties crashin your world tour Johnny: I had no idea Dennis: (shrugs) someone's gotta carry your surfboard (Johnny hits him on the back) Marissa: well ill be there to watch you in your moment of glory (shuts locker) Johnny: are you alright, seem a little uhh Marissa: I'm fine, promise...look ill see you guys later (walks away) Johnny: something's wrong with her (we see Marissa walking up the stairs a little in front of them) Dennis: poor kids probably star struck (hits Johnny's shoulder) get use to it (Dennis walks away. Johnny looks at Dennis and then watches Marissa disappear up the stairs, he looks worried) CUT TO: Harbor school - this scene is in the college councilor's office. it changes between Seth, Summer and Ryan sitting in front of her desk, so whoever is talking is who is actually on screen at that point. Seth sits down in the chair Mrs. R: so we'll deal with grades an boards later but for now I just wanna get a feel for what you want (smiles) you know where you imagine yourself Seth: uh somewhere cold (points) or brisk I would-I would settle for brisk Summer: I want three hundred an sixty five sundaes (raises eyebrows, nods, frowns) I don't mean the day after Saturday (shakes head) Ryan: uhhhhh Seth: not some place too big but not alotta sports (frowns) not alotta big guys playin sports (shakes head) Summer: I definitely wanna join a sorority (screws up face) oh but I don't wanna learn Greek (shakes head) Mrs. R: where are you thinking Ryan: I don't know (raises eyebrows) I've-I've only lived in California (smiles) Summer: Hawaii, Arizona Seth: uh Boston, Connecticut, Vermont, Maine (raises eyebrows) Rhode Island or New Hampshire Summer: ooo (unsure) do they have a college in Cabo (nods) Ryan: (thinks) I'm not sure (Mrs. R looks at him) I-I guess this sounds like I haven't given it alotta thought but the truth'a the matter is (leans forward) I-I have uhh ill be the first in my family to graduate from High School led alone go to college, so...I mean this whole...its alot (nods) (we see a wide shot of Ryan sitting in front of the desk) CUT TO: Julie's condo - Kirsten and Julie are outside on the balcony together drinking coffee Kirsten: (frowns) it's just so odd that Charlotte just up an left without so much as a phone call (looks at Julie) Julie: well you know, her father called he said it was an emergency an (raises eyebrows) that's all she needed to hear Kirsten: Julie she hasn't spoken to her father in years Julie: well you know how it is with family one day your estranged next your bugs in a rug, but enough about Charlotte how are you Kirsten: ugh, it's just I'm...I'm losing my mind at home I feel like... (Kirsten notices that Julie isn't paying attention) Kirsten: Julie are you even listening ta this Julie: (looks at Kirsten) yes, of course Kirsten: is there something you need to tell me (Julie looks at Kirsten. we hear the doorbell) Julie: excuse me (stands) (Julie goes and answers the door. there is a woman standing there) W: Miss Cooper (Julie looks at her) this is the last time I'm going to warn you, I need that rent cheque, ten thousand or this could get very ugly Kirsten: is everything ok Julie: (starts to shut door) I don't need any thanks (shuts door, looks at Kirsten) hello, I don't need any steak knives, you want some coffee cake (Julie walks away and Kirsten looks confused as to what just happened) CUT TO: Harbor school - Seth walks into the student lounge and Ryan is already in there. he's sitting on the couch with a coffee Seth: hey man Ryan: what's up (Seth side jumps over the back of couch so he's sitting next to Ryan) Seth: you gonna visit me in Providence next year (holds out brochures) Ryan: (takes them) ooooh, goin'a Rhode Island Seth: Brown, the University Ryan: ah-huh Seth: jus had a meeting with the councilor she said I had a very good shot at getting in because I'm awesome Ryan: this your first choice Seth: (looks at Ryan) dude it's my only choice, its liberal, its turtle neck weather an most importantly its three thousand miles away from here Ryan: so it's safe ta say you're not applying to Berkeley (hands stuff back) you told your dad yet Seth: Sandy Cohen's a perceptive guy I'm sure he'll figure it out Ryan: Seth, you gotta tell him Seth: (squints) dad I'm not applying to Berkeley...(points) where'd you get a gun...why d'you have this gun (Ryan laughs) (thinks) mmm mmm (shakes head) that doesn't have a good ring to it (Ryan looks at him) it doesn't have a good ring- fine...ill stop by after school an break it to him Ryan: (raises eyebrows) at least you're goin to college Seth: unlike a lanky lady friend of yours Ryan: (sighs) yeah (raises eyebrows) an I don't get it I mean its (frowns) she's always wanted to go to college you know Seth: well, you could talk to her (looks at Ryan) you could use your powers of persuasion Ryan: yeah I don't have any (raises eyebrows) ever since I got back to Harbor its like I don't have a leg to stand on (bell goes) Seth: well then you need'a find somebody who does (hits Ryan's chest) Ryan: right Seth: (half stands on the couch) you need'a get yourself an ally (Seth jumps over the couch, similar to how he got on it, lol) Ryan: why're you doing that Seth: I don't give a crap about the school I'm outta here (Ryan laughs) (Seth goes to walk away but he stops and spits on the couch first. Seth leaves and Ryan sits there laughing, then he stops and pulls out his cell phone. we hear the beeps of dialing a number - we now see Summer and Taylor near the lockers. Summer shuts her locker and Taylor is standing there) Taylor: (grins) Summer, feel my forehead Summer: (looks at Taylor, raises eyebrows) what, why Taylor: I have college fever (laughs) don't you Summer: maybe, what are the symptoms you become incredibly annoying (raises eyebrows, walks away) Taylor: (follows) Summer cheer up, you're just gonna love Arizona...oops Summer: (frowns) how d'you know that I'm applying there Taylor: I work in the college counseling office um I do alot of filing Summer: oh an snooping (keeps walking) Taylor: (follows) well I did notice that you an Seth are headed to opposite ends of the country, boo Summer: no we have different tastes Taylor: yeah apparently, he wants to go to Brown an you wanna go (condescendingly) some place sunny where kids drink till they vomit Summer: (annoyed) Taylor, d'you have a point Taylor: I'm just sad for you is all, you know I mean the long distance thing can be such a grind (Summer frowns) oo what am I talking about though I'm sure you an Seth have a whole plan worked out Summer: a plan (closes eyes) Taylor: yeah, well Seth wouldn't just skedaddle off to the east coast without so much as a thought ta your relationship, would he Summer: no one is skedaddling anywhere yet, ok Taylor: well if you two haven't even talked about this yet (Summer looks at her) my guess is there's stormy weather ahead, intimacy (rubs Summers shoulder) it's a tricky business (Taylor walks away and Summer watches her) CUT TO: Newport group - Sandy is unpacking a box in his office. he pulls out a photo frame and looks at it sentimentally. we hear the phone ring and see a close up of the photo frame in Sandy's hands. it is a photo of little Seth, about 6-8 years old I would say, and he is wearing a navy blue top that has BERKELEY on it in yellow. we hear a knock Seth: dad (Sandy moves the photo away and we see Seth standing in the door way. he waves) Sandy: (looks, suprised) I didn't know you'd be droppin by today (puts frame down) Seth: (walks in) yeah, well (rubs hands) you know had kind of a big day at school Sandy: I know I know you had a meeting with your college councilor I'm dyin'a hear about it Seth: well you know she said that I actually have alot of options Sandy: well o'course you do, an whatever you decide, ill respect Seth: (nods, points) good Sandy: listen I'm just happy your even considering Berkeley (sits) (Seth nods unconvincingly) you are (raises eyebrows) I mean aren't you Seth: yeah considering? sure Sandy: great Seth: yeah (nods) Sandy: listen as long as it's still on the table (waves it off) I'm happy (shrugs) Seth: mm mm (softly) yes, Berkeley, ok well I'm glad we got this all cleared up, I'm gonna see you back at the house Sandy: oh (stands) oh ok, alright, you got it (points) Seth: dad, good talk Sandy: you, yep (Seth leaves. Sandy watches him and then picks up the phone) Sandy: hey Cheryl (picks up the photo) yeah will you get Paul Glass of Berkeley on the line for me (looks at photo) CUT TO: Newport Union - Marissa is sitting by herself on a bench near the lockers looking out of it. Ryan walks over to her, he gently puts one hand on her back and the other over her eyes and smiles Marissa: hey (smiles, leans back into Ryan's arms) thanks for coming to get me (Ryan kisses Marissa's cheek. aww) Ryan: not a problem (Marissa stands up to leave) hey whoa whoa, you wanna hang out for a minute (sits) Marissa: what you just wanna enjoy the scenery Ryan: (looks at Marissa) I wanted to talk to you about college Marissa: look I already told you I'm not going Ryan: I know I know you're not going, you made up your mind (Johnny comes down the stairs) Johnny: you could talk ta somebody (Marissa looks at him) sorry I sort of overheard what you were talkin about (shrugs) hey man what're you doin here Ryan: I was tryin'a convice Marissa to see your guidance councilor Johnny: oh Mitchell Davidson (looks at Marissa) he's a great guy Ryan: that's what I hear (Marissa looks from Johnny to Ryan) Marissa: that's what you hear (Ryan looks down) (shrugs) from who (Ryan looks from Marissa to Johnny and back to Marissa. Marissa looks at Johnny, Johnny smiles) Marissa: (realises) oh my god, you guys planned this didn't you Johnny: look we just...we didn't want you to do something you might regret Marissa: so (raises eyebrows) you conspired to get me here (looks at Ryan) ta lecture me on what to do with my life Ryan: no, come on it's not like that Marissa: I mean I thought I could talk to you, I thought you were on my side Ryan: I'm on your side (stands) you can trust me (moves closer to Marissa) Marissa: (pulls away) just...leave me alone (leaves) (Ryan and Johnny watch Marissa walk away upset. Ryan sighs) CUT TO: Cohen bedroom, next morning - Sandy is on the phone and getting ready for work Sandy: oh man it'll be great to see you (smiles) yeah that's right tomorrow night, ill see you then, alright Paul, bye (hangs up) (Kirsten walks in) Kirsten: who was that Sandy: our old friend Paul Glass Kirsten: (looks at Sandy) Paul Glass as in Paul Glass from Berkeley Sandy: uh well not from anymore, at he's workin there now (Kirsten looks at him) wh-what he called me (shrugs) (Kirsten smiles) besides Seth came by the office yesterday to talk colleges, he seems interested in Cal Kirsten: as long as you don't pressure him Sandy: no (shakes head) no pressure...a nudge, a fathers allowed to nudge Kirsten: nudgings allowed but anymore than that an I will confiscate your Cal sweatshirt Sandy: you wouldn't dare Kirsten: try me (smiles) oh I gotta go I'm gonna try to make a Cardio Barre class Sandy: Cardio Barre is crawlin with Newpsies how bored are you Kirsten: well I thought id go cause Julie loves it an I thought it might cheer her up, lately she seems (thinks) not herself Sandy: (looks at Kirsten) is that a bad thing (raises eyebrows) Kirsten: (worried) I'm serious Sandy, she's keeping something from me Sandy: well when it comes to Julie Cooper sometimes it's better not knowin Kirsten: well (moves head side to side) Sandy: (mumbles) you know whatever, lets go Kirsten: mm (Kirsten and Sandy leave together. him in his business suit and her in a cute little sporty outfit) Sandy: very sporty Kirsten: thankyou (Kirsten puts her hand on Sandy's back) CUT TO: The pool house - Seth is in there with Ryan. Ryan's getting organised for school Seth: so how did it go with Marissa Ryan: basically accused me an Johnny of ganging up on her an she stormed off Seth: oh so it...went well Ryan: I don't know, I guess it's to be expected, we'll all be splittin up next year, its bound to make everybody tense Seth: ok but (points) why focus on the negative this is a cause for a celebration, we get ta finally leave Newport Ryan: (frowns) well I'm not sure everybody sees that as somethin to celebrate Seth: (holds hand out) what you wanna stay in Orange County forever, grow old playin golf an chatting about the NASDAQ Ryan: no I'm jus sayin...you know maybe Newport isn't all evil Seth: name me one thing (points) about Newport that isn't evil (Summer and Marissa walk up together) Ryan: I will name you two (aww) Summer: Cohen, hi, you an me upstairs now (Summer leaves) Seth: (to Ryan) tell my parents I love em (Ryan smiles) (Seth leaves. Marissa and Ryan move towards each other) Ryan: how are you Marissa: better, thanks (Ryan looks at her) look I'm sorry about yesterday Ryan: I-I didn't mean ta...pressure you Marissa: you know I realised after you were probably jus tryin'a help...sooo I made an appointment with the college guidance councilor Ryan: alright, you did it Marissa: I mean I can't promise anything (shrugs) but I'm gonna try (nods) CUT TO: Seth's bedroom - Summer walks in followed by Seth. Summer stops and faces Seth Summer: (holds up 2 sheets of paper) these are our college lists, do you see a difference Seth: (takes sheets, looks) yeah the font looks like you went with the uh times new roman (nods) Summer: (snatches sheets back) the schools doofus (upset) none of them are the same, none of them are even in the same time zone (frowns) Seth: ok so you know you want west coast I want east coast (shakes head) it's not a hip hop war Summer: we are gonna be separated by like a zillion billion miles, I was up all last night thinking about that Seth: you were Summer: (looks at Seth) you haven't even given this a second thought have you Seth: w- uhh (Summer closes her eyes and starts to leave) Seth: Summer wait a second Summer: (pulls away, upset) no too late Cohen (Summer leaves and slams the door behind her. the bang makes Seth flinch) CUT TO: Julie's condo - Julie is out the front carrying a Luis Vuitton bag to an open u-haul which already has some of her stuff inside it. she throws the bag in with the rest and pulls the roller door shut. a woman in the background watches her W: Julie (Julie stands) your leaving us already Julie: uh...well you know I was only staying here temporarily I'm-I'm renovating my place in Balboa Estates, couldn't stand the racket W: (laughs) you-you live in the Balboa Estates an you drive your own u-haul Julie: I'm jus keepin it real (smiles) well gotta go see ya round (pointed) 3F (the woman heads back over to her front door. Julie goes to the front of the u-haul. we see Kirsten pull up in the range rover and watch as Julie gets in. she starts it up and drives a little way before it stalls, after a few seconds it starts moving again. Kirsten starts following just as the u-haul turns a corner) CUT TO: Harbor school - Summer is in the guidance councilor's office. there are other kids in there now Summer: Mrs. Rushfield (Mrs. R looks up) hi, I wanted to um read up on a school...Brown (Mrs. R looks suprised) I know it's a major (raises eyebrows) reach but it doesn't hurt to look right Mrs. R: of course, let me just get the file for you Summer: thanks (Mrs. R looks it up on the computer) Mrs. R: hmm, that's ben checked out (Taylor comes over holding a large folder with Brown written on the spine) Taylor: here you go (hands folder to Mrs. R) Mrs. R: oh (Summer looks at Taylor) Mrs. R: this is just what we were looking for (Summer looks at Taylor) thankyou Taylor (hands folder to Summer) here you go (leaves) Taylor: (laughs, folds arms) your applying to Brown Summer: maybe (Summer looks as though Taylor is making her feel inferior) Taylor: well I'm sure they would just love to have you, I hear the Ivy's often recruit from Fred Segal Summer: (indignantly) I can get inta Brown if I want to Taylor: of course you can (Summer looks at her, then down) an on the off chance that you don't you can always come an visit (Summer looks at her) Seth an I will show you around (grins smugly) (Summer raises her eyebrows and looks down sadly) CUT TO: Newport Union - Marissa is sitting in front of Mitchell's desk AKA the guidance councilor. he is looking at Marissa's file Mitchell: you have the grades, lots of activities, my guess is (looks at Marissa) you'll be fine Marissa: (looks at Mitchell) except...I'm not sure I wanna go Mitchell: I'm sorry Marissa I'm (laughs) I'm a little confused, what're we doing here (Marissa looks at him) ...does this have anything to do with uh what happened to you over the summer (Marissa looks away) I read about it...in your file Marissa: ...it's just...id have to explain it, wouldn't I Mitchell: well, on the applications yes, you will have'ta say why you were expelled, but if it means getting inta College, seems like a small price to pay Marissa: (sighs) I've just spent all this time (raises eyebrows) trying to forget about it...an you know if I had'ta dredge it up again (raises eyebrows) I don't know if I could handle it... Mitchell: I get it...that's a...tough skeleton to have in your closet (Marissa looks at him) but if you want my advice...write about it, see what comes out Marissa: uh that's exactly what I don't wanna do Mitchell: Marissa (leans forward) you cant run away from your past, so...before you let it ruin your future...you might try learning to live with it (Marissa looks as though she's thinking) CUT TO: Julie in the u-haul - she stops the u-haul and has an almost disgusted look on her face. she gets out and walks to the back. as Julie is opening the roller door we see a wide shot of where she is. it looks like a small trailer park. we can see a broken aerial lying on the ground surrounded by leaves and in the background we can see Julie at the u-haul. a guy goes over to the trailer that Julie is parked at. Julie struggles with 2 of her bags then looks up and sees the guy Julie: oh excuse me, could I get a little help over here Gus: (looks at Julie) I aint no bell man lady Julie: how charming, I take it you're my landlord Gus: yeah, I'm Gus, welcome to the Taj Mahal (smiles) (Julie stops and looks at the trailer. she sighs and puts one of the bags down) Julie: (sighs, closes eyes) can't believe I'm back here Gus: you lived here before (frowns) Julie: I'm speaking figuratively, truth is...I moved out of a place like this when I was eighteen I never...thought id be back Gus: yeah, well, when I was a kid I wanted to be wide receiver for the Chargers (raises eyebrows) (Julie blinks) sometimes life don't work out (we now see the range rover pull up at the trailer park. Kirsten stops the car and we can see Julie on the verandah of the trailer. she puts down one of the bags and sighs, then opens the door. Kirsten watches for a few seconds then looks away, worried) CUT TO: Summers bedroom - I just have to mention over this scene the incredible song Open Invitation by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club plays, it fits the scene perfectly. ok the first thing we see is a close up of a laptops keyboard and fingers over the keys, the N key is pressed. the shot changes and we can see that it is Marissa sitting in front of the laptop, and she is staring at the screen. she puts her hand on her head and then we see what is on the screen, along the top it says GAPS IN EDUCATION/EXPULS underneath that is a white square, and next to it the words "Check this box, if, for any" underneath that is "expelled. PLEASE EX" and then underneath that is a big white square where Marissa has typed "I was involved in". we can now see Marissa again, she takes her hand off her head and closes her eyes. flashback of: Trey trying to kiss Marissa, and then him throwing her down on the sand hard Marissa frowns, upset at the images she is remebering flash of: Trey on top of Marissa, she has a terrifed look on her face Marissa puts her hand on her head and leans forward, after a few seconds she pushes her hair behind her ear and then slowly opens her eyes, she looks at the screen again. we can now see more of the writing as the shot pans across "EXPULSIONS" "for any reason during attending" "PLEASE EXPLAIN BELOW:" Marissa puts her hand up to her mouth and stares helplessly at the screen flash of: Marissa drinking alcohol at the lifeguard tower by herself, then of Marissa and Ryan kissing in each others arms in front of the outdoor fireplace, then of Jimmy smiling, dressed in a suit Marissa rubs her hand over her mouth flash of: a bruised and beaten Jimmy kissing Marissa goodbye on the forehead, then of Marissa hugging a stunned Julie after she finds out Jimmy isn't going to re-marry her, then of Ryan's choking face with Treys hands around his neck Marissa takes her hand away from her mouth, closes her eyes and then opens them again flash of: Ryan still being choked by Trey Marissa sits back in the chair and sighs upset flash of: Marissa struggling to get Trey off of her on the beach, then of Trey whispering near her ear Marissa runs her hand down her face, with her eyes closed flash of: when Trey holds Ryan's head off the floor by his hair we see a close up of Marissa's pained face, she closes her eyes again flash of: Treys wife beater and the blood from the bullet wound dripping we see another close up Marissa's face, she is staring dazed, and pushes her hair behind her ear flash of: Trey straightening up so the blood is running down him now, not dripping we see another close up Marissa's face, she is becoming more upset and agitated, she closes her eyes tightly then puts her hand over her face with her head down. she closes her mouth as if trying to calm herself down flash of: Treys bloody face looking at Marissa, stunned we see another close up of Marissa with her eyes now wide open flash of: a different angle of Trey, he's leaning over so that you can clearly see his bloody mouth Marissa runs both hands down her face, quickly opens her eyes and holds her hands at her chin flash of: the exact moment Marissa fires the gun we see another close up of Marissa's anguished face flash of: the moment the bullet goes through Trey at this moment it all gets too much for Marissa to handle and she screams and pushes everything in front of her to the floor, including the laptop she was trying to write on. she still has her eyes closed. she picks up a few things that didn't get pushed off and throws them hard, with a groan. we then see a close up of her face. she pushes her hair back away from her face and puts her hand over her mouth upset. she sits back down on the chair and moves her hand away, now crying. aww. after a few seconds she puts her hand back over her eyes then pushes one side of her hair back, still crying. she looks completely worn out and vulnerable) {I just have to say Mischa did a hell of a job with this scene, I believed every second of it, and It felt so real, and of course song choice helped make the scene so much more powerful. and the way the flash backs were mixed in with Marissa's break down was unbelievable} CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - we see Sandy walk in. Kirsten is standing at the bench and Seth and Ryan are sitting at the table together Sandy: everyone's here, perfect, hey a college buddy'a mine Paul Glass is in town I invited him over for dinner tonight Kirsten: (looks at Sandy) an what brings Paul to town Sandy: oh something ta do with work Kirsten: something for Berkeley Seth: (looks up from reading) your friend works at Berkeley (Ryan looks at him) Sandy: it's not what you think Seth: (frowns) you mean an ambush Sandy: a resource, you guys might enjoy talkin to him Ryan: (screws up face) sounds like an ambush (smiles) (Sandy looks at Kirsten. Kirsten looks at Sandy) Sandy: its dinner (points) they have'ta eat CUT TO: Summers house - Johnny and Dennis walk up to the front door. Johnny rings the doorbell and Marissa answers the door Marissa: (suprised) hey (goes out, shuts door) what're you guys doin here Dennis: PacWest surf contest (smiles) today's the day, remember Marissa: oh, you know, that's ok (Johnny looks at her) (shrugs) I don't wanna be a downer Johnny: why, what's up (touches Marissa's arm) (inside Summer, holding her laptop, goes to walk up the stairs and she sees Johnny with his hand on Marissa's arm, you can't see Dennis through the door) Marissa: (heard in the background) I tried to write this essay for school an it didn't- (Summer looks worried and goes upstairs) Marissa: if I can't write the essay you know I may as well forget about College Dennis: (shrugs) so forget it, come on tour with us Marissa: (looks at Dennis) what Johnny: that's not a bad idea, you know travel the world give yourself some time to think (Marissa looks from Johnny to Dennis and back to Johnny) Marissa: are you serious Johnny: look, maybe you jus need'a take the pressure off, you know give yourself some time, why not do it in Fiji (Marissa looks at him) jus come to the contest today see what you think (Marissa looks from Johnny to Dennis, thinking) Marissa: (gives in) alright (smiles) give me five minutes (Marissa goes back inside. Johnny and Dennis wait - we then see Marissa coming into Summers room. Summer is lying on her bed using her laptop. Marissa goes to the closet and grabs a top) Summer: hey Marissa: (looks over) hey Summer: was that Johnny an dog boy downstairs Marissa: yeah. Johnny's got this uh big surf contest today, I'm gonna go support him (puts on top) Summer: oh, what about your essay, you know you can use my computer just be gentle with it Marissa: yeah...that...might be put off for a while (fixes top) Summer: what're you talking about (Marissa looks at Summer. Summer raises her eyebrows as if to say "well") [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: Yacht Club - we see Julie walk in, she goes over to Kirsten who is already sitting at a table with a drink Julie: hello (sits) Kirsten: mm (swallows) hey Julie (smiles) glad you were free Julie: oh well I cant stay long, did I tell you I'm moving, its such a hassle but the new place its beautiful Kirsten: well then ill get right to it...how would you like to go inta business together Julie: (suprised) what Kirsten: well, think about it, the magazine the fundraiser, we'd make a good team Julie: Kirsten...I don't need your charity Kirsten: (looks at Julie) then...why are you living in a trailer (Julie looks shocked) I-I'm sorry, I followed you yesterday Julie: (looks down, embarrassed) well then I certainly hope your opening a detective agency Kirsten: its not charity, I'm going crazy doing nothing, I need this Julie: (looks at Kirsten) well...if you need it I guess (Kirsten smiles at Julie. Julie smiles back) Kirsten: just one thing, if we're gonna be partners I need to know what happened to Charlotte (Julie looks stunned) she cant be with her dad she hates her dad...oh god she didn't relapse did she (Julie looks at Kirsten, thinking. Kirsten looks at Julie frowning) Julie: ...no she couldn't because she's not an alcoholic Kirsten: uh what're you talking about Julie: (closes eyes) oh Kirsten I never wanted to tell you this (Kirsten listens) Charlotte...went ta rehab to find a...rich vulnerable woman she could exploit...she's a con artist, I'm so sorry Kirsten: (confused) but the fundraiser (raises eyebrows) Julie: (nods) a scam, she was planning on taking that money with her, but I stopped her at the last minute Kirsten: (looks at Julie) oh my god (Julie looks at her) you were in on it Julie: Kirsten (Kirsten leans down and grabs her bag) Julie: Kirsten let me explain (Kirsten leaves, dazed. Julie sits there helplessly) CUT TO: Summers bedroom - Summer opens the door and Seth is standing there. Summer notices that he is carrying a bag with him Summer: what is it Cohen Seth: we need'a talk (walks in) I brought visual aid (empties bag on the bed) Summer: (looks at the bed, frowns) boarding school stuff (we see what Summer is seeing which is a whole heap of brochures and things, including one with Choate written on it) Seth: my entire life I have wanted to get as far away from Newport as possible an the only reason I didn't...is because Ryan came (points) an you started talking to me an I'm very glad I stayed (Summer folds her arms) but...now I have'ta go Summer: fine, I get it, but what's your plan for us (Seth raises his eyebrows) emails, phone calls see each other once every two months Seth: or (walks into ribbons hanging down which throws him, lol) or you could come with me Summer: no (gets on the bed) look you've always wanted ta go east, I've always wanted to stay west Seth: well but don't you think that may- Summer: but what, my dreams are not as important as yours Seth: Summer I'm tryin'ta make this work (Summer looks at him) I feel like your jus writing this off (Summer raises her eyebrows) you don't see Ryan an Marissa givin up Summer: ...not yet anyway Seth: what'does that mean (Summer looks at Seth and goes to start talking) CUT TO: The beach - we see a shot of the water from underneath, it's gorgeous. you can see the sun shining through and a surfer on his surfboard. we then see a few different shots of surfers out in the waves. then a whole crowd of people standing on the sand, there are different coloured flags set up. we then see 2 girls sun-baking and finally surfers running to the water holding their surfboards. Marissa is standing on the sand watching them. Johnny and Dennis head over to Marissa Dennis: you don't have'ta go try an be a big hero, I'm tellin you man, there is no shame in playing it safe (points) Marissa tell him Marissa: (turns around) tell him what Dennis: the rest of our lives, Costa Rica, Fiji Hawaii it-all rides-on-today Johnny: (nods) way ta take the pressure off me (Dennis grins) Marissa: hey, you're gonna be great out there Johnny: thanks, gotta get to the staging area, see you guy's later (leaves) Dennis: bye (points) Marissa: so, is this what next years gonna be like, just...hanging out on the beach watching Johnny surf Dennis: (shrugs) that an scorin hot foreign babes Marissa: (nods, raises eyebrows) great Dennis: by the way I forgot to tell you, I talked to some people that I know, they think they can get you a job as a label rep for the tour Marissa: (suprised) wow Dennis: yeah, so if your serious about it, let me know, ill make it happen (Dennis walks away, Marissa watches him and then looks as though she's thinking) CUT TO: Cohen foyer - Seth comes through the front door and Ryan comes down the stairs Ryan: hey man Seth: hi (goes over to the stairs) Ryan: what's up, everything alright (Seth drops the bag sighs dramatically and sits down on the stairs) Seth: (dramatically) you would think that we could deal with next year...I don't know next year but no its gotta screw up this year too Ryan: yeah Marissa an I have some'a that too Seth: yeah (looks at Ryan) by the way have you spoken to her today Ryan: no I was on my way ta...see if she wanted'a grab lunch (frowns) why Seth: (motions) have a seat I don't wanna tell you this standin up (Ryan looks at Seth and then goes to sit down) CUT TO: The diner- through the window we see Taylor walking up. she walks in and goes over to Summers booth and sits down across from her Summer: thanks for coming Taylor Taylor: well it was no problem at all Summer Summer: I jus wanna uh talk to you about next year- Taylor: well first of all let me just say that where I apply to College is frankly none of your business (Summer looks at her) and if some of those schools happen ta cross with Seth's well- Summer: Taylor, shut up ok (Taylor looks at her) you can have him (Taylor looks confused) go ta Brown or wherever you smart people go, he's yours (nods) Taylor: (laughs) this is a ploy (points) isn't it Summer: no, its life, he's going to Rhode Island an I'm going to Arizona (raises eyebrows) Taylor: I-I well I just thought you guys would do the whole long distance thing Summer: please an struggle along, break up at Thanksgiving an hook up at Christmas an then break up again in January when we're both back at school Taylor: (frowns) but you could still apply to a school near to him Summer: could you imagine me on the east coast (frowns) id be like one'a those animals that they rip from their natural habitat an put in the zoo (screws up face) my fur would get all mangy, id throw dung at people it'd be awful Taylor: ah-huh, you know I'm almost offended that you think I would believe that sort of idiotic lie (Summer nods, Taylor looks at her) Summer: you want the truth Taylor (Taylor looks at her) what if he goes to college an meets a bunch of really smart, an interesting girls an realises that that's who he's spose'ta be with Taylor: (nods) an that uh your just his High School girlfriend (Summer looks down, almost sadly) cute your fun to be with but um...doesn't want his kids ta have your DNA (smiles) Summer: (softly) yeah (puts money on the table) maybe we should just end it, you know Taylor: Summer Summer: (sadly) you be nice to him ok (Summer leaves and Taylor looks as though she's thinking) CUT TO: The beach - we see some surfers coming out of the water, the crowd cheering and then Dennis, Marissa and Johnny heading over to the jeep Dennis: that was so awesome Marissa: yeah you were amazing Johnny: yeah I caught some great waves Dennis: oooh an modest, I'm gonna go see when there announcin the teams (walks down the beach) (Johnny puts his surfboard in the back) Johnny: I'm gonna call my mom, let her know how I did, she's workin up at San Jose this weekend (Marissa nods and Johnny dials. we see Johnny on the phone and in the background Ryan pulls up. he gets out and doesn't look happy. Marissa sees him and Ryan walks over to her) Marissa: hey Ryan: hey, heard you were here Marissa: yeah Johnny was competing Ryan: what's goin on, last night you say you wanna go to college an now you're...you're doin this Marissa: Ryan, I tried ta write the essay (shakes head) I-I couldn't Ryan: ok well ill help you Marissa: no I really don't think you can (Ryan looks at her) Johnny: hey, Ryan (smiles) thanks for comin man (Ryan looks at Johnny then away. Marissa looks at Johnny. Johnny looks from Marissa to Ryan) Johnny: what's up Ryan: did'you tell Marissa she should blow off college Marissa: of course not Ryan: ok then explain what your doin here (Marissa looks at him) Johnny: dude no offense but... maybe you jus don't understand what she's goin through (Ryan looks at Johnny as if to you say "you've gotta be kidding me" Marissa looks down) Ryan: (to Marissa) is that what you think Marissa: no ok, I think it's complicated (we now see the the stage where the surf teams are announced. the crowd in front of it is clapping and cheering etc) Guy: (in mic) what's up everybody (we see Dennis in the crowd, waiting to hear. he's jumping up and down excitedly) Guy: yeah, alright we're about to announce this years PacWest surf team but before we do that lets give it up for the surfers out there huh (Dennis runs to get Johnny) Dennis: (calls) Johnny! (we see Johnny, Marissa and Ryan standing by the jeep. Ryan doesn't look happy) Dennis: (off screen) Johnny! Johnny: hey look can we talk about this later Ryan: you know what, you two talk I'm done (leaves) Dennis: (jumps, waves) Johnny! (Johnny looks at Dennis, Marissa starts to follow Ryan) Johnny: (stops Marissa) no wait (Marissa stops and looks at Johnny) Dennis: (calls) Johnny! (Johnny looks at Dennis again, torn. Marissa starts walking) Johnny: ill get him Dennis: (off screen) Johnny! Johnny: (runs, calls) Ryan (out of nowhere a car makes a sharp turn and hits Johnny as he heads over to Ryan. he hits the windscreen hard and rolls off the top of the car, into the air and then lands on the ground) Marissa: (yells) Johnny! (Marissa and Ryan both run to Johnny. Dennis watches stunned) Guy: Johnny Harper, Johnny Harper where are you (we see the person in the car get out, and then Johnny lying face down on the ground. Ryan runs over to him and Marissa stands there stunned. Ryan looks up at Marissa and then back down at Johnny's bloody and grazed face) Ryan: (yells) somebody call an ambulance (Ryan touches Johnny's head and one of his arms) CUT TO: The hospital - we see a plaque that says VISITING HOURS. around the corner from that we can see Dennis, Marissa and Ryan sitting in the waiting room. Dennis has his feet up on the chair next to him. Ryan looks over at Marissa, Marissa glances at him and then looks away. Ryan looks down (a woman in blue scrubs comes over) W: were you all with Johnny Harper Dennis: yeah (stands) he's gonna be ok right W: uh, does he have a parent here Marissa: um his moms flying in from San Jose, how is he W: lucky (nods) the only real damage is to his knee, there's been a clean tear of the ACL, some bone damage, he's gonna require surgery Dennis: when's he gonna be able to surf again W: I'm less worried about him surfing than when he's gonna walk again (we see close ups of Dennis, Marissa and Ryan's worried faces) W: he'll be awake in an hour if you wanna see him (Dennis puts his hands on his head. Marissa looks at him) Dennis: (leaves) I can't deal with this (Ryan and Marissa look at each other) Ryan: it's my fault, he was comin after me when he got hit Marissa: Ryan lets not do this now ok (Ryan looks at her) (softly) but you should probably go (Ryan frowns) Sandy'll be wondering where you are (Ryan looks at Marissa. Marissa looks at Ryan) Marissa: (points) I think I should go find Chili Ryan: (nods) ill call you (Ryan watches Marissa walk away) CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - Kirsten and Seth are at the bench preparing the food. Seth is cutting up bread. Sandy walks in with Paul Glass Sandy: (smiles) Kirsten, look who I found Paul: oh I heard this is where Newport's newest culinary talent lives (hugs Kirsten) Kirsten: ooh Paul its good to see you (Paul smiles) Paul: hey Sandy: an you remember Seth (points) Paul: (shakes Seth's hands) oh sure last time I saw you were in a Berkeley onesie Seth: oh (to Sandy) thankyou for that Sandy: why don't you run upstairs, put it on (smiles) (Seth isn't amused. Ryan comes in) Sandy: and uh oh an here's-here's Ryan (points) Paul Glass Ryan: hi Paul: Ryan (shakes Ryan's hand) nice to meet you Kirsten: uh Seth why don't you grab the bread an then we can all go outside Seth: sure (to Paul) uh after you (Paul walks in front of Kirsten and Seth, and then they follow behind him) Sandy: so how's your friend Ryan: I think he's gonna be ok, at least I hope Sandy: good good, what'do you say we get somethin'a eat (touches Ryan's arm) Ryan: yeah (Ryan takes a plate and starts heading outside) CUT TO: Summers bedroom - we hear a knock at the door and Summer opens it. Taylor is standing there. Summer notices that she's holding a bag like Seth was Summer: what is it with people showing up with bags Taylor: I bought you something (walks in) (Taylor puts the bag down on the bed. Summer stands at the side of the bed with her arms folded. Taylor pulls out a sweatshirt with PROVIDENCE printed on it, and then another article of clothing but I can't tell what that is) Summer: Providence College (frowns) Taylor: it has good Catholic values, admission standards a little more in your wheelhouse and uh best of all its...twenty minutes from Brown (looks at Summer) Summer: (touched) Taylor Taylor: look Summer...who knows what's gonna happen in the future but for right now Seth loves you an your not even giving him a chance Summer: why are you doing this Taylor: I figured Brown was uh a little Vanity Fair for my taste an now I'm considering the Sorbonne Summer: no I mean (laughs) why...are you being so nice (sits on the bed) Taylor: ...well pathetic as it sounds you an Seth are pretty much my best friends (Summer looks at her) and uh...lets face it I never really had a shot with him (shakes head) Summer: (closes eyes) Taylor we are your friends (nods) Taylor: (laughs) really (Summer nods) um because I jus got Kieslowski's Decalogue on DVD an like (excited) I don't know I don't know if your inta Polish cinema but maybe you could come over an we could have like a sleep over marathon an (stops) (Summer slightly shakes her head) no, sorry, ok (laughs) (Taylor grabs her bag and goes to leave. Summer watches her) Taylor: keep in touch Summer (nods) (Taylor leaves and Summer looks down, thinking) CUT TO: Cohen backyard - Paul, Sandy, Kirsten, Seth & Ryan are all sitting around the table together Paul: so anyway it was Halloween an I set Sandy up with a roommate of this girl that I was dating Sandy: I didn't have a costume (Kirsten smiles) so when I went to pick her up I...I put a bag over my head Kirsten: I felt like I was dating the elephant man (looks at Ryan/Seth) Seth: oooh uh (unamused) Paul: you know supposedly something like fifty percent (Kirsten and Sandy smile at each other) of people meet their future mates in college (looks at Ryan/Seth) you two...have girlfriends (Ryan and Seth look at each other. Ryan doesn't know what to say, lol) Seth: uhhh Paul: um..? Sandy: yes (phone rings) Kirsten: uh, I'm gonna get that (stands) Paul: sure Seth: I don't know anymore... Ryan: me either Paul: alright so what'do you call a black guy who fly's a plane (Sandy looks at Ryan/Seth. Ryan looks at Seth) Seth: uhhhh Paul: a pilot you freakin racist (Sandy laughs, Paul laughs. Ryan and Seth just look at them - inside Kirsten goes to grab the phone, we hear the answering machine) Msg: Kirsten: hey its the Cohen's we can't come to the phone right now so leave us a message, thanks (beep) (Kirsten looks at the phone and listens) Julie: Kirsten it's me...look I know you probably never wanna see me again I just...wanted to say I'm sorry again (Kirsten listens) after everything you've done you...you deserve a better friend than me (beep) (Kirsten closes her eyes and looks down - back outside Sandy and Paul are still laughing with each other. Kirsten walks back up to the table) Kirsten: oh, I'm sorry uh I have'ta run, it was really good to see you Paul (shakes Paul's hand) Paul: yeah it was great ta see you too Sandy: (worried) is everything ok Kirsten: oh it's fine, ill be back in a half an hour (Kirsten walks down the stairs as Summer is walking up) Kirsten: oh Summer (Seth looks over) Summer: hi (hopeful) I was um hoping that I could talk to Seth Seth: excuse me (stands) Kirsten: (in the background) oh sure he's-he's right over there (Seth jumps down the stairs. Ryan looks at Paul, Paul looks from Ryan to Sandy, Sandy looks at Paul) Sandy: an then there were three CUT TO: Seth's bedroom - Summer walks in and Seth follows her Seth: oh thank you, if I had'ta listen to one more Berkeley anecdote (shakes head) (Summer shuts the door, she's carrying a bag, lol) Summer: c'mere (Summer puts the bag down on Seth's bed and pulls out the cutest winter hat) Summer: how does this go (puts hat on Seth's head) Seth: ok it's not that cold but Summer: (picks up another winter hat) nope, I wanna see what we are going'ta look like next year (puts hat on	Plan: A: their future; Q: What do Ryan, Seth and Summer think about? A: colleges; Q: What do Ryan, Seth and Summer start applying to? A: Marissa; Q: Who has other plans for her future? A: a trailer park; Q: Where is Julie forced to move into? A: Kirsten; Q: Who is determined to help Julie? A: Sandy; Q: Who invites an old friend to dinner to inspire Ryan and Seth? A: UC Berkeley; Q: Where did Sandy invite an old friend to dinner to inspire Ryan and Seth? Summary: Ryan, Seth and Summer think about their future and start applying to colleges, while Marissa has other plans. Julie is forced to move into a trailer park and Kirsten is determined to help. Meanwhile, Sandy invites an old friend from UC Berkeley to dinner to inspire Ryan and Seth.
DRAGONFIRE PART THREE Run time: 24:26 [SCENE_BREAK] Singing Trees [SCENE_BREAK] Glitz: It must be worth a fortune. The Doctor: No, look past the gold and the gemstone, Glitz. Look at the fire inside. A source of intense optical energy. [SCENE_BREAK] Restricted zone [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor (O.C.): Look at it through Kane's eyes. See it as an evil mind would see it. Kane: At last. After three thousand years, the Dragonfire shall be mine. [SCENE_BREAK] Refrigeration room [SCENE_BREAK] Bazin: Duty guard. Kane (O.C.): We have an incident in the lower sectors, quadrant six. An aggressive non-terrestrial. [SCENE_BREAK] Restricted zone [SCENE_BREAK] Kane: It is marked with a radio tracking device. I want the creature eliminated. Bring me back its head. [SCENE_BREAK] Singing Trees [SCENE_BREAK] Glitz: I'm beginning to feel a rather cosy warm sensation in my money pouch. Ace: Lay one finger on the dragon, bilge bag, and I'll rivet your kneecaps together. Mel: We've got to stop Kane from finding the creature. Ace: Look! The Doctor: There's something not right. Can't put my finger. Proamon. Proamon. Mel: Well, the hologram said that Proamon was Kane's home planet. The Doctor: Yes, but where have I heard of it before? I mean, where was it? Was it in the past or is it in the future? Glitz: Is any of this important, Doctor? The Doctor: Is a grain of sand important, Glitz? I must go back and consult my star charts on the TARDIS. Ace: Your spacecraft? Brill! Mel: But there isn't time, Doctor. Ace: Doughnuts. Glitz: No need to perambulate back to Iceworld, Doctor. These passages have their own star charts. The Ice Garden. I found it, remember? The Doctor: A primitive star chart. Missing constellations, orbital calculations, I imagine. Ah yes, I would like to see this. Ace: Ice garden? The Doctor: Er, you stay here. I shan't be long. Glitz: The Doctor's right. You two stay here until the Doctor and I get back. Ace: Bilge bag. The Doctor: Now, now, now, now, now. You stay here with them. They can look after you so you don't get into any trouble, Glitz. Glitz: Do what? Behave, Doctor. The Doctor: Don't argue! The three of you are safer together. [SCENE_BREAK] Refrigeration room [SCENE_BREAK] Mcluhan: How many ant hunts you been on? Bazin: Ant hunts? Mcluhan: A N T. Aggressive non-terrestrial. Have you ever seen one? Bazin: Not as such. Mcluhan: Ah, thought not. Bazin: But it's standard procedure. Mcluhan: And what do you think a standard non-terrestrial looks like? Bazin: Well... Mcluhan: Try thinking of a scorpion, two metres tall, coming at you out of the shadows. Right, now do me a favour and leave your water pistol at home. If I'm relying on you to cover my back I want to know that you are carrying enough artillery to blow this ant clean across the space lanes. [SCENE_BREAK] Singing Trees [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: We could always pass the time by playing a game, I suppose. I spy, or something. [SCENE_BREAK] Refrigeration room [SCENE_BREAK] Mcluhan: Ready? Bazin: Two metres tall? Mcluhan: Minimum. Let's go. [SCENE_BREAK] Ice junction [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: They always mark north and south on these things, never backwards and forwards. The Doctor: Tell you what, you seem to know where you're going. Why don't I just trust to your sense of direction? [SCENE_BREAK] Refrigeration room [SCENE_BREAK] Kane: The time is at hand. In a few hours, when the Dragonfire is mine, we shall be able to leave this wretched planet. I want you to spread terror throughout the upper levels and drive everyone towards the Nosferatu. I want no one left in Iceworld. [SCENE_BREAK] Lower levels [SCENE_BREAK] Mcluhan: Here, take this. It's a radio tracking device. Fix it on the front of your gun where you can see it. If this ant so much as twitches, I want to know. [SCENE_BREAK] Ice Garden [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Silver bells and cockle shells, and ice gardens all in a row. Extraordinary. This must be a solar system. There's a large red star with small orbiting planets. Constellations, yes, but that one's too high up. They're all slightly out of position. This star chart's no use any more. How long have you been on this planet? Two thousand years? Longer? [SCENE_BREAK] Singing Trees [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: This is naff. This is mega-naff. And what's more, I'm out of Nitro. But I've got tons more back in my quarters. Mel: Well, let's go back and get some. Glitz: No, thank you. We'll steer clear of the home made stuff, I think. There's six hundred kilos of commercial back on board the Nosferatu. I'll go and fetch some of that. Ace: Nosferatu? Glitz: You two stay here. Ace: Oh! Glitz: Just for one, bog, do as I say, and stay here. Don't go wandering off. Mel: Why do we always get left out? Glitz: I'll be back as soon as I can. Ace: I spy with my little eye something beginning with I. Mel: Ice. Ace: Your go. [SCENE_BREAK] Restaurant [SCENE_BREAK] Ice Garden [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Oh, you want to be leaving. [SCENE_BREAK] Ice junction [SCENE_BREAK] Bazin: Got it. Mcluhan: Direction? Bazin: Straight ahead. No, it's to the right. Mcluhan: Distance? Bazin: Five metres. Bazin: Four. Bazin: Three. Mcluhan: Where is it? Bazin: Heading away. Mcluhan: Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] Restricted zone [SCENE_BREAK] Computer: Current ambient temperature minus ten Celsius. Target temperature minus a hundred and ninety three Celsius. [SCENE_BREAK] Singing Trees [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: I spy with my little eye something beginning with M. Mel: Doctor! Ace: That doesn't begin with M. The Doctor: Where's Glitz? Ace: Professor! Mel: He's gone back to his spacecraft. The Doctor: We've got to hurry. We might be able to stop Kane and save the creature. [SCENE_BREAK] Lower levels [SCENE_BREAK] Mcluhan: We're too close to the upper levels. Bazin: It's here. Mcluhan: Where? Bazin: I don't know. It's everywhere. It's coming towards us. Mcluhan: There's nothing there. Bazin: It's still approaching. It's all around us! Mcluhan: Where? Bazin: It's down there! Mcluhan: Stop, hold your fire. All right, come out. Bazin: It's a girl. How come the tracker's picking her up. Mcluhan: Come on! [SCENE_BREAK] Ice passage [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Back to the TARDIS. Mel: But what about the creature? We've got to save it. The Doctor: The creature will always be under threat from Kane, unless we can convince him that his star charts are hopelessly wrong. Then we might be able to put an end to all this. Ace: This isn't another wind up, is it? I mean, I really am going to see your spacecraft, aren't I? [SCENE_BREAK] Shopping mall [SCENE_BREAK] Stellar: Bye. [SCENE_BREAK] Lower docking bay [SCENE_BREAK] Glitz: Here! Computer: Stand clear of the doors, please. Glitz: What's going on? Computer: Undocking sequence in progress. Glitz: Open up! Computer: Locking arms disengaged. Glitz: You can't go without me! Computer: Spacecraft ready to clear Iceworld. Safe journey and good fortune, Nosferatu. Glitz: You can't leave me, not after all these years. Come back! Glitz: Kane. [SCENE_BREAK] Shopping mall [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Where is everyone? Must be half day closing. I don't think we've got much time. Ace: What are we doing here? I thought we were going to see your spacecraft. Mel: This is our spacecraft. Ace: I'm not stupid. Mel: Just come on. [SCENE_BREAK] TARDIS [SCENE_BREAK] Ace (O.C.): Squeeze up, then. Ace: Hang about. The Doctor: That's it, Proamon. Ace: Here, how'd you do that, then? Mel: Well, it's bigger on the inside than the outside. The Doctor: There is no planet Proamon. Mel: It's transcendentally dimensional. Ace: Don't come all clever dick with me. What's going on? Mel: It's difficult to explain. The Doctor: Quiet! There are things to be done. Mel: Oh, Doctor! The Doctor: Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] Ice passage [SCENE_BREAK] Bazin: Leave me. I'll hide. Come back for me. Mcluhan: Come on. Just down here, come on. You can do it. That's it. [SCENE_BREAK] Catwalk [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: Here, this is a shortcut to my quarters. The Doctor: Later, Ace. We're in a hurry. Ace: No, it's all right. You go on ahead. It's just I don't feel properly dressed without a couple of cans of Nitro. I'll catch you up. The Doctor: Come on, Mel. We're wasting valuable time. Mel: If we miss you, we'll meet you in your quarters. [SCENE_BREAK] Shopping mall [SCENE_BREAK] Glitz: Sprog? Doctor? Mel? Woman: Ah, you there. Have you seen a small child called Stellar anywhere? I appear to have mislaid her. Evidently not. Well, if you do find her, would you be so good as to let me know? [SCENE_BREAK] Ice passage [SCENE_BREAK] Mcluhan: Fire! Mcluhan: Right, just the head, and its finished. Bazin: Can't we just leave the head? Mcluhan: Mister Kane wants the head, and I never leave a job half done. Bazin: The dragon's treasure. [SCENE_BREAK] Ace's room [SCENE_BREAK] Glitz: Ace? Ace? [SCENE_BREAK] Ice passage [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: The creature, it's dead! They've killed it. The Doctor: Yes, and it had a final surprise for anyone who wanted to try and interfere with it. A huge energy surge when its head was disconnected. Mel: What shall we do with it now? The Doctor: We'll finish its job for it, and put an end to all this death and destruction. [SCENE_BREAK] Ace's room [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: Ace? Glitz: Hey, you nicked it. Mel: Where's Ace? Glitz: I don't know. The Doctor: This is not good enough. Glitz: Well, she wasn't with me. Mel: Come on, we've got to find her. Glitz: You lost her. [SCENE_BREAK] Control room [SCENE_BREAK] Kane: Doctor? Glitz? [SCENE_BREAK] Refrigeration room [SCENE_BREAK] Kane (O.C.): I know you can hear me. I'd like to propose a transaction. My very final transaction before I leave Svartos. [SCENE_BREAK] Control room [SCENE_BREAK] Kane: The Dragonfire for the girl. Bring me the Dragonfire and you can... [SCENE_BREAK] Refrigeration room [SCENE_BREAK] Kane (O.C.): Have the girl. Special closing down sale, you might call it. [SCENE_BREAK] Control room [SCENE_BREAK] Kane: But hurry, while stocks last. [SCENE_BREAK] Refrigeration room [SCENE_BREAK] Glitz: I think he means it, Doctor. The Doctor: No doubt. Mel: But we can't give him the treasure. The Doctor: We've no choice. The creature's already dead. Ace is still alive. [SCENE_BREAK] Restricted zone [SCENE_BREAK] Computer: Current ambient temperature minus ten Celsius. Target temperature minus a hundred and ninety three Celsius. Stellar: Goodnight, teddy. [SCENE_BREAK] Control room [SCENE_BREAK] Kane: At last, after three thousand years. Bring it here. The Doctor: Three thousand years, eh? Long enough for an entire civilisation to have come and gone. Kane: Are you some kind of idiot? The Doctor: You know, for someone who's had the patience to wait around for three thousand years, you seem to be in rather a hurry suddenly. Glitz: What's all this three thousand years? The Doctor: Three thousand years since you were exiled here from Proamon, along with the creature. Kane: Who are you? The Doctor: Just a traveller. Kane: What do you know about Proamon? Mel: We all know. The creature showed us on the hologram. Kane: Oh, the archives. I should have destroyed them. The Doctor: No, no, no, you should keep them for souvenir value, along with the Ice Garden. Glitz: Why was the creature doing time as well? Kane: The biomechanoid was my jailor. Look around you. The controls laying dead, waiting for an energy source. The Dragonfire is that energy source. The Doctor: And without it you are powerless. Kane: They thought they could imprison me on this wretched planet by implanting the power source inside the creature. They shall learn of their folly. The Doctor: And the living creature was created to keep you prisoner. Kane: There were times when I ached for death. I considered journeying round from the cold dark side of Svartos to the sun blistered surface on the other side, where I would quickly die. Now, with the Dragonfire, I have the power to return to Proamon and exact my revenge. You, girl. Bring me the Dragonfire. Mel: No. I'm not going to lift a finger to help you. Ace: Melanie? Don't listen to her. She doesn't mean it. Doughnut, give him the treasure. I'm sixteen, I'm too young to be freeze dried. Glitz: Come on, Mel. This is no time to be fastidious. Mel: Doctor? The Doctor: Look, let me explain. Kane: You're wasting my time. The Dragonfire is mine now. You can either give it to me alive or I shall take it from your dead bodies. The Doctor: The logic is inescapable. Kane: Place it in the circuit. Mel: Doctor, what's happening? The Doctor: It sounds like a starflight drive. Glitz: Starflight drive? It can't be. Glitz: This is a spacecraft. The whole colony's a spacecraft! Kane: My hour of vengeance. The Doctor: Vengeance on whom, Kane? You're too late. Mel: All your mercenaries are dead. Kane: I can soon find more. The Doctor: But where will you find another home planet? Kane: You're talking in riddles, Doctor. Proamon is my home planet. The Doctor: Was your home planet. Take a look at your navigational equipment. It's fully operative now. Kane: There must be something wrong. The Doctor: Sadly not. Your planet, your people, your entire race were destroyed one thousand years after you were exiled. Kane: No. No, it's not possible. The Doctor: Look at the sun of Proamon. When you left, it was a cold red giant surrounded by freezing planets. Kane: There's nothing there but a neutron star. The Doctor: Your sun turned supernova two thousand years ago, and all its planets were engulfed in the explosion. Your people were annihilated, your planet obliterated. You're too late, Kane, for your revenge. You have no home. Time has flowed by. Kane: No. No! It shall not be! Computer: Danger, unfiltered sunlight. Glitz: What's he doing? It's scorching. [SCENE_BREAK] Iceworld [SCENE_BREAK] Glitz (O.C.): Good afternoon, shoppers. This is the new management speaking, Captain Glitz. It's time for a few changes. [SCENE_BREAK] TARDIS [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: Well, I suppose it's time. The Doctor: Time? Funny old business, time. It delights in frustrating your plans. All Kane's perfidious aims thwarted by a quirk of time. Mel: No, I meant I suppose it's time I should be going. The Doctor: Oh. Mel: Time that I left. The Doctor: Yes, well, you could be right. Time for you to go. Mel: Before I go, I... The Doctor: Well, it is time. Mel: Doctor. The Doctor: You must go. Mel: Before I go I'd like to say... The Doctor: There's no point, Mel. No point hanging around wasting time. Mel: No, I'm not going until I've said my piece. I just want to say that... The Doctor: There's no time, Mel. Mel: Oh, all right, you win. The Doctor: I do. I usually do. Mel: I'm going now. The Doctor: That's right, yes, you're going. Been gone for ages. Already gone, still here, just arrived, haven't even met you yet. It all depends on who you are and how you look at it. Strange business, time. Mel: Goodbye, Doctor. The Doctor: I'm sorry, Mel. Think about me when you're living your life one day after another, all in a neat pattern. Think about the homeless traveller and his old police box, with his days like crazy paving. Mel: Who said anything about home? I've got much more crazy things to do yet. Glitz: Well, we've officially renamed my new spacecraft the Nosferatu Two, just cracked a bottle of ye old carbonated fruit alcohol over the bows and next stop sunny Perivale, eh, sprog? Ace: Suppose so. Mel: Have you got room for another one? Glitz: Are you Perivale bound as well? Mel: Well, I was thinking of going a bit further. Glitz: How much further? Mel: How much further are you going? Glitz: Hang on half a millisecond. The Doctor: Excellent. Yes, Mel can keep you out of trouble, Glitz. Mel: And that means no more dodgy deals. Glitz: Thanks a billion, Doctor. The Doctor: Glitz. Mel: Ace doesn't have anywhere to go. The Doctor: Nonsense. An idyllic place, Perivale. It's got lush green fields and a village blacksmith, and... Mel: Doctor, she comes from the twentieth century. The Doctor: Oh. Glitz: Come on, Mel. Extract your digit. Mel: I'll send you a postcard. The Doctor: But I don't have an address. Mel: Oh, I'll put it in a bottle and throw it into space. It'll reach you, in time. The Doctor: Ace, where do you think you're going? Ace: Perivale. The Doctor: Ah yes, but by which route? The direct route with Glitz, or the scenic route? Well? Do you fancy a quick trip round the twelve galaxies and then back to Perivale in time for tea? Ace: Ace! The Doctor: But there are three rules. One, I'm in charge. Ace: Whatever you say, Professor. The Doctor: Two, I'm not the Professor, I'm the Doctor. Ace: Whatever you want. The Doctor: And the third. Well, I'll think up the third by the time we get back to Perivale. [SCENE_BREAK] Shopping mall [SCENE_BREAK] Woman: There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Now come on.	Plan: A: the biomechanoid; Q: Who shows the Doctor the archive? A: the Doctor; Q: Who discovers that Kane is from the dead world of Proamon? A: Mel; Q: Who witnesses the destruction of the Nosferatu? A: temptation; Q: What does Ace face? Summary: Shown the archive by the biomechanoid, the Doctor discovers that Kane is from the dead world of Proamon. Mel witnesess the destruction of the Nosferatu and Ace faces temptation.
[EXT. LAS VEGAS STOCK - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. UNIVERSITY DORM - WOMEN'S BATHROOM - NIGHT] MUSIC: (Hip-hop music) hey, baby, hey, baby, yeah, baby, yeah, baby hey, baby, hey, baby, yeah, baby, yeah, baby hey, baby, hey, baby, (The camera follows a blonde-woman walking out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. She walks through the hallway where other students and regular traffic carry on without batting an eye in her direction.) (She passes a bulletin board and a group of college guys in orange shirts. The camera turns and follows the guys back down the hallway where they stop and turn around. I guess they did notice the girl in the towel. They run off screen after her (or maybe toward something else they've seen).) (A boy carrying a box of pizza passes the group and the camera follows him as he walks down the hallway with the pizza box in his hand.) (The camera turns away from the pizza boy and lingers on a particular blue dorm room #410.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROOM #410, PAIGE RYCOFF'S ROOM - NIGHT] (The camera enters the room and passes by some suitcases in the middle of the room.) Lyric: (dissolves into jazz blues) ... I'm so tired of playing / playing with this bow and arrow / going to keep my hideaway (There is a blonde-haired woman standing by window. Her back is to us and she's staring at the rain as it pours outside.) \[b\]Lyric\[\/b\]: ... leave it to the other girls to play ... (She turns around to look back into the room at her suitcases. She's wearing a long-sleeved, dark-blue shirt with WLVU in bold yellow letters in the front. She goes to the bed and picks up her coat. As she puts it on, the phone rings.) \[b\]Lyric\[\/b\]: ... for I've been a temptress too long / give me a reason, won't you? / give me a reason (She answers the phone.) Paige Rycoff: (on phone) Yeah? Hold the meter. I'll be right down. (She hangs up the phone and moves to the window. She looks outside and sees the taxi cab waiting out front. The Taxi Cab Driver looks up and we see PAIGE RYCOFF standing in front of the window. She walks away from the window.) WHITE FLASH CUT TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PAIGE-RYCOFF'S ROOM -- DAY.] (CLOSE UP of plane ticket still in the side pocket of a purse. The camera moves up toward the window. It's day. We hear a police siren. From PAIGE RYCOFF'S room window, we see police cars and GRISSOM'S black SUV outside. GRISSOM meets up with BRASS on the walkway leading up to the dorm.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DORM - HALLWAY - DAY] Brass: Paige Rycoff, freshman. Couldn't stand the heat, dropped out of school. Grissom: Dropped out of sight. Brass: Booked a one-way ticket home to boulder. Never got there. Four days M.I.A. Grissom: Missing persons. First 24 hours are gold after that ... Brass: ... quicksand. (They arrive at the room.) Brass: (to the officer outside the room) Hey. (GRISSOM and BRASS enter the room. There are alot of officers inside. Standing and comparing notes and talking. This annoys GRISSOM.) Grissom: Excuse me, but could everyone in this room do me a big favor ... and leave? (Off of BRASS' look.) Grissom: Please? (BRASS nods his head.) Brass: Thanks, fellas. Thanks, guys. (After everyone leaves, GRISSOM puts his CSI Kit down.) Brass: (to GRISSOM) You want me to go, too? Grissom: If you're very still, you can stay. (GRISSOM puts on a pair of latex gloves. BRASS crouches down low. A police siren sounds outside.) Brass: She was definitely on her way out of here. Grissom: Lamp's still on. Brass: Yeah, but she didn't take her suitcase, her purse ... or the cab she called. (BRASS stands up. GRISSOM reaches into the purse and pulls out the ticket.) Grissom: It's like going to the vet without your dog. [GRISSOM picks up the plane ticket from her purse. The ticket contains the following information: PHONE MAIL ORDER MONUMENT AIRLINES RYCOFF, PAIGE LAS VEGAS, NV BOULDER CO NON-REFUNDABLE Nos. at the bottom: 00953046010 \| 3 005 211 54 ... ] Brass: Maybe she had a change of plan. Or someone changed it for her. Grissom: No sign of struggle. Everything's intact. (A quick look into the purse shows a small hairbrush with lots of hair on it, her wallet and a notebook as well as other everyday things found in a purse.) Grissom: Nothing out of place. (GRISSOM walks past BRASS and heads out the door. The door closes behind him.) (There's a knock on the door.) Brass: (quietly) Come in. (BRASS opens the door and GRISSOM enters the room again.) Grissom: Door locks automatically and there were no keys in her purse. Brass: Maybe they were in her pocket. Grissom: If they were in her pocket she could've walked right back in. Why didn't she? Brass: One moment Paige Rycoff is here the next ... vanished. Grissom: People don't vanish, Jim. It's a molecular impossibility. HARD CUT TO: END OF TEASER. ROLL TITLE CREDITS: [Captioning sponsored by CBS, CBS Productions and Alliance Atlantis Productions. Captioned by the Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] [SCENE_BREAK] FADE IN [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DORM ENTRANCE -- DAY] (The students use their cards to enter the dorm through a turnstyle. GRISSOM and WARRICK stand off to the side as they enter.) Warrick: They got this multiplex system -- there's eyes all over the place. There's eight floors, and four cameras per floor. (They both look up at the camera that monitors the co-eds coming into the dorm.) Grissom: They have this system in place when you went to school here? Warrick: With all the stuff me and my boys got away with, it's probably why they have them now. Sara: Hey, scent dogs are on their way. (SARA arrives at the dorm and is stopped at the entrance when she can't get through the turnstyle.) Grissom: If you don't live in the dorm you can't get in. Sara: What about getting out? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DORM - HALLWAY - DAY] (CATHERINE and NICK walk through the hallway.) Catherine: Four hundred students, twelve uniform officers, ten minutes per interview. P.D. Should be done by Tuesday. Nick: Well, I'll take prints over people any day. (GRISSOM, SARA and WARRICK meet up with them at the next corner.) Grissom: How about taking video? There's cameras on every floor; one of them must have seen something, please find it. Nick: Okay. (NICK leaves.) Grissom: In this case, more is less-- the more time goes by the less chance we have of finding this girl. Catherine: Four days? We'd be looking for a body already. Warrick: Well, hide and seek. Let's go. (WARRICK and CATHERINE leave. The video camera watches them go.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PAIGE RYCOFF'S ROOM - DAY] (SARA pulls out a clip board while she updates GRISSOM on the status of the room.) Sara: I talked to her R.A. Paige had put in a request to have all her mail forwarded, including her security deposit. (GRISSOM stares at the wall. He notices something on the wall and takes a very close look at it. SARA watches as GRISSOM sticks his finger in it and ... tastes it.) Grissom: Minty. Sara: Toothpaste-- poor man's spackle. It's an old college trick-- covers up the holes when the posters come down. Grissom: Ah. Leave the room the way you found it, get back your full deposit. Sara: Five Hundred Dollars. That huge money at her age if you actually get it. That's a big college racket, like buying books back? Grissom: Why would anyone want to sell their books? Sara: Two beds. Roommate? (GRISSOM looks at his clip board.) Grissom: Jennifer Riggs. Left school two weeks into the semester Brass checked with the registrar. (He puts his clip board back in his bag and from the low angle he's in, he notices something across the floor. He uses his flashlight to get a better view.) Grissom: There's a void. Something was here. Sara: Area rug? Could've been used to conceal a body on the way out. Paula Francis: (o.s.) The disappearance of ... [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DORM LOUNGE -- CONTINUOUS] Paula Francis (TV Anchorwoman): (V.O.) ... western Las Vegas university coed Paige Rycoff has police baffled. They're working on several leads. And though investigators are still piecing together ... (The television set in the dormitory lounge is covering The Paige Rycoff story. There's a picture of Paige on screen and the words, "Breaking News" on the bottom left of the screen.) (The camera pans over to view the hallway just in time to catch two police officers with two search dogs on leashes.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DORM - NEAR GARBAGE CHUTE] Warrick: How's this strap right here, is this tight enough? (WARRICK is assisting CATHERINE with her gear.) Catherine: Uh, yeah, fine. Warrick: How about this one? (He tugs on another strap.) Catherine: Yeah, it's ... it's good, Warrick. Warrick: Well, you know, you can get cadets to do this, Cath. I mean, they're used to obstacle courses. Catherine: Yeah, well, on missing persons, we can't wait. Warrick: Yeah, well, it looks like a kill-and-dump to me. I mean, the guy waited for the coast to clear door to door, it's only ten meters ... (CATHERINE pulls open the garbage chute door and peers inside. There seems to be some distance to cover between the fourth floor that they're currently on to the ground floor below.) (CATHERINE lets go of the handle and it snaps back shut.) Catherine: Hmm, snappy little sucker. Somebody ought to fix that. Warrick: Yeah? Well, all right, after we find Paige. Catherine: Right. (WARRICK opens the garbage chute door and assists CATHERINE as she get in it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CAMPUS SECURITY CAMERA CONTROL ROOM] (Through the green-tinged video, we see CATHERINE disappear into the garbage chute completely. The camera pans back and we see that we're watching four monitors. There's a hand-written note between the bottom two monitors that reads: "Absolutely No Drinks next to the monitors. Thanks!") Campus Security Tech: Okay, here we're looking at the fourth floor. It's real time. Nick: Mm-hmm... I'm interested in any camera that covers Paige Rycoff's room. Campus Security Tech: Oh, that's camera two. Here, I'll put it on the large monitor. Nick: Now, go back four days, one hour window 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. (The video on the monitor shows co-eds walking back and forth in the hallways.) Nick: Fast forward. (After several seconds, NICK sees something) Nick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa -- hold on. (The video goes back and catches a hand covering the camera with something causing it to black out.) Nick: How'd you miss that? Campus Security Tech: Well, we don't catch every minute. Nick: Go back 15 seconds, replay in slow-mo. (The video definitely shows someone reaching up and blacking the camera out.) Campus Security Tech: What is that? Nick: Camera captures 13% more than we're seeing on this monitor. Picture condenses to fit the aspect ratio ... Campus Security Tech: Pixel matrix, yeah. Nick: Mm-hmm. Show me the under scan. Stop. (The video stops on the black spot.) Now go back five seconds before the lens was covered. (The video stops on a lighter view of the black spot just a frame or two before it gets really dark.) Freeze and magnify. (The video freezes on a magnification of somebody's left hand up against the wall.) Campus Security Tech: Hmm, somebody's hand. Nick: Looks like he pushed off the wall ... tossed something on the lens. Prints over people. Thanks, man. Campus Security Tech: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. INSIDE THE TRASH CHUTE - DAY] (CATHERINE is inside the garbage chute looking for any evidence of a body passing through it.) Warrick: (over radio) Find anything interesting down there? Catherine: Yeah, plenty, but not what we're looking for. Warrick: How's the smell, good? Catherine: Funky. (On her way down, CATHERINE sees something on the wall.) Catherine: Wait, stop. Stop, stop, stop. Warrick: (over radio) What you got? Catherine: Looks like, uh ... (panting) Something or ... someone smashed up against this chute pretty hard. Warrick: (over radio) What floor are you on? Catherine: Uh ... between, um ... first and second, I think. Warrick: Well, if the body was dumped it would've been moving pretty fast by then. (CATHERINE touches the red substance and smells it.) Catherine: Pizza. Keep going. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ALLEYWAY -- END OF CHUTE - INTO THE DUMPSTER -DAY] (CATHERINE comes out of the chute feet first and lands in the dumpster.) Catherine: Ah. Touchdown. Uh, chute's clear. Looks like trash is picked up every morning. We got nothing. (CATHERINE looks over at the two frustrated search dogs at the entrance of the alleyway ... ) Catherine: Hey, Warrick, it looks like we're not the only ones chasing our tails. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PAIGE RYCOFF'S ROOM - DAY] (Wearing red-orange protective goggles, SARA darkens the room. Using a device that shines a blue light, SARA's looking for body fluids in PAIGE RYCOFF'S room. Every drop she finds on the bed is circled for collection.) Lyric: Water falling down / a hundred meters colored by the sun / in day-glo colors always dragging me around / through beams of light blinded by the sun ... (music fades) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CAMPUS SECURITY CAMERA CONTROL ROOM] (From the monitors, we see NICK working near the video camera.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FOURTH FLOOR HALLWAY - DAY] (NICK gathers the handprint off of the wall. That he even found it impresses SARA, who approaches him from behind.) Sara: How did you know where to print? Nick: Knew where to look. How about you? Sara: DNA, blood and semen. Nick: We shoot, we score. [SCENE_BREAK] (CAMERA CLOSE UP of GRISSOM. He's looking downward and has a thoughtful look on his face. Around him, we hear the muffled voice of a man and a woman who both sound upset. We can barely make out what they're saying. The more they speak, the clearer their words.) Mrs. Rycoff: No one is telling us anything. It's been four days. Mr. Rycoff: I mean, the police aren't talking to us. Mrs. Rycoff: We have no information. Mr. Rycoff: It's gotten crazy. Mrs. Rycoff: I want to know how this could happen. (The voices are crystal clear and pierce through GRISSOM'S thoughts.) Mr. Grissom. What are you doing to find my daughter? [INT. HALLWAY - DAY] (GRISSOM looks up and sees MRS. and MR. RYCOFF. Both are anxious.) Grissom: I'm thinking. Mr. Rycoff: How many men are on this case? Mrs. Rycoff: Have any leads?! Any? Mr. Rycoff: Are you looking anywhere else? Grissom: When we get any new information, I'll let you know. Mrs. Rycoff: What can we do? Grissom: Just let me do my job. Mr. Rycoff: This is our daughter, we can't just be observers. Mrs. Rycoff: No, we won't. We're part of this. Grissom: Look. What no one's telling you is that the only tangible connection you have left between you and your daughter is the evidence that my team is collecting and how we interpret it. So, please ... let me think. (MR. and MRS. RYCOFF leave.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB] (GRISSOM is standing in front of the video monitor watching the video footage taken the night PAIGE RYCOFF went missing. CATHERINE walks in and stops next to him.) Grissom: You showered. Catherine: Thanks for noticing, Gil, you're very observant. (He plays the video over again and steps up closer to the video screen till he's standing right in front of it.) Grissom: Yeah? Well ... I can't tell what I'm observing here. What does that look like? Catherine: A five-foot-eleven workaholic. Grissom: (turns around) Sorry. Catherine: It looks like somebody carrying... something. Grissom: Paige Rycoff was missing a rug from her room. (NICK walks in holding up a file. He's enthusiastic.) Nick: Hello. Got an ID off my print. I know who covered the cameras. Grissom: Good. We know what he might've carried out. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY] (A photograph of a hand print is placed on the table and pushed forward toward the man sitting there. The co-ed sitting in his orange "Omega Zeta Pi Pledge" T-shirt glances down at it.) Henry McFadden: It's a hand. Grissom: It's your hand. Henry McFadden: Okay, if you say so. Nick: Hey, your fingerprints say so. (Quick Flashback shows HENRY McFADDEN putting his hand on the wall and boosting himself up to put a dark blue hand towel over the hallway camera. Flash to white. Resume Present.) Henry McFadden: Okay. I'll cop to it. But I'm not copping to it alone. (Quick Flashback shows four other guys in orange running down the hallway carrying furniture between them. Flash to white. Resume Present.) Brass: Pledge prank. You boosted a carpet and a couch? Henry McFadden: We borrowed-- we borrowed some stuff from the lounge but we were going to return it. Brass: When? After you graduate? What else did you take, Henry? Henry McFadden: Ohhh ... two lamps, coffee table, couple rolls of toilet paper. Look, I'll pay for it. Nick: Why the fourth floor? Henry McFadden: Uh ... the fourth, fifth, and seventh floor have the primo goods. Okay? Fourth floor's closer to the ground ... less stairs. Faster we can get out of the building and into the van faster we get out of there. Grissom: Do you know Paige Rycoff? (HENRY McFADDEN becomes less flippant and quite serious at GRISSOM'S question.) (Quick Flashback shows PAIGE RYCOFF standing at the window and turning around. Flash to white.) Henry McFadden: Yeah. Yeah, but I had nothing to do with ... with that or whatever happened to her. Brass: But you do know her. Henry McFadden: Well, yeah. You know, we live in the same dorm. We're in Economics 101 together, so what? Nick: So what? Henry McFadden: Paige and I dated once or twice. She wasn't my type. If you haven't noticed ... I'm in the system now. The talent pool's pretty deep. Nick: She dumped you. Grissom: Guy like you, it had to be a blow to your ego. Maybe you tried to change her mind. Henry McFadden: All right, come on, listen. It wasn't like that. It wasn't like that at all. Come on, Paige was seeing another guy. Someone who was "more mature" than I am. Brass: You got a name on this other guy? Henry McFadden: No. She never said. Brass: You can go. (HENRY McFADDEN stands to leave the room.) Brass: But the stuff gets returned. Henry McFadden: Yes, sir. (He leaves the room.) Nick: From hot to cold in a minute. Grissom: This is the worst place you can be on a missing persons ... a dead end. CUT TO BLACK. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI LAB - DAY] (The television set is on. PAIGE RYCOFF'S parents are on with the label "MR and MRS RYCOFF" in the lower left corner. The techs in the lab are watching the television coverage.) Paula Francis: (on tv) The parents of western Las Vegas University freshman, Paige Rycoff. They join us now to discuss their daughter's disappearance. Mrs. Rycoff, did your daughter tell you why she was leaving school? Mrs. Rycoff: (on tv) We're a close family, and Paige just felt she needed to be home ... with us. Paula Francis: (on tv) But why leave mid semester? Mrs. Rycoff: (on tv) I asked ... Mr. Rycoff: (on tv) ... she was going to make a fresh start back in Boulder. (Outside the Lab, through the glass window, GRISSOM also watches the television coverage. SARA appears beside him.) Sara: I need you in the lab. Grissom: You know, when a tree falls in the forest even if no one's there to hear it, it does, in fact, make a sound. Sara: Yes. Somebody must have seen or heard something. Grissom: What have we got? (They leave together.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI LAB] (Spread out on the table are various items all belonging to PAIGE RYCOFF. From make-up to a tweezer, nail clipper, eye-lash curler ... it's all there.) Greg: Well, this is one way to get her DNA. Bring me her whole life. Sara: It's called zeal, Greg. Greg: Or overkill. Grissom: It's called protocol. Let's get on with it. Greg: Okay, well, I, uh, got Paige's DNA from her toothbrush. I compared it to the blood and semen that Sara found on the mattress in her dorm room. Sara: Blood's not hers. Grissom: Not hers? Sara: That's not all. Check out the tox screen. (SARA hands GRISSOM the report. He pulls out his glasses and reads.) Grissom: Rohypnol? Sara: Date rape drug. Grissom: What about the semen? Greg: Well, the vaginal contribution to the semen stain is a match to the blood. Whose blood, don't know. Sara: We may have two victims -- one missing, one raped. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB] (On the screen, NICK and CATHERINE review video footage from cameras covering the parking lot on the night PAIGE disappeared.) Nick: There's our boys about to move their "borrowed" furniture. Catherine: Advance it to 8:27 P.M. (NICK hits the remote and the video advances from 08:26 to 08:27 pm.) Nick: Okay, I think the table's set. Cab double-parked. Catherine: He calls up. Paige says that she'll be right down. Nick: And he becomes the world's most patient cabbie. Catherine: And just like he tells Brass ... he waits 15 minutes. Nick: 13 minutes. 27 seconds According to the timecode. Close enough. (grabs his gear) Let's get back out in the field. Tech can finish up here. Catherine: Hey, where's the fire, bud? We're just getting started. These security cameras are the only witnesses we've got. (NICK sighs. He puts his bag back down.) Nick: I'll, uh, settle in. Catherine: Good idea. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESIDENTIAL SIDEWALK - DAY] (GRISSOM, BRASS and SARA walk down the sidewalk in front of JENNIFER RIGGS' parents' home.) Brass: Jennifer Riggs -- missing girl's roommate. She dropped out of school, too about a month and a half ago. Sara: That dorm room is cursed. Grissom: Is this her parents' house? Brass: Yeah. Possible sexual assault so I thought I'd wait for the whole team. Sara: You thought you should, uh, wait for a female. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JENNIFER RIGGS' RESIDENCE - DAY] Paula Francis (TV Anchorwoman): (v.o. over tv) A video shot during the first week of school Offers fresh insight into the 18-year-old's personality. We can see that Paige was an average, apparently happy and healthy freshman, looking forward to ... (The camera starts on several photographs on the wall: one is JENNIFER RIGGS high school cap & gown graduation photo, another is of JENNIFER RIGGS with her parents. The camera skims over two other childhood photographs, both of JENNIFER RIGGS. The television set is on in the living room with a report about PAIGE RYCOFF on. The video shows a close-up of PAIGE RYCOFF swimming. The camera moves on to the living room where the interview with JENNIFER RIGGS is taking place.) Jennifer Riggs: How did you guys even find out about me? I mean, I-I didn't report it. I just ... ran. And I left school. Nobody knew, not even Paige. Sara: Jennifer, we found forensic evidence in your old dorm room. We believe you were sexually assaulted while under the influence of Rohypnol. Jennifer Riggs: And now you guys think the guy that attacked me had something to do with Paige's disappearance? Sara: Two women. Same dorm room. Grissom: We're looking for a connection. Brass: Will you tell us his name? (She takes a shaky breath. SARA notices her discomfort.) Sara: Do you want to talk alone? Jennifer Riggs: You don't understand. I can't remember. I never could remember. Grissom: That's one of the side effects of rohypnol. I'm sure he was counting on that. Jennifer Riggs: There was this party ... (Quick Flashback of a man going through a door and shutting it behind him. He's carrying a body over his shoulder. Cut to: Shadow of a man taking off his shirt. Flash to white. JENNIFER RIGGS on the bed. She's awake but completely out of it while in the background, the shadow of a man taking off his pants. Cut to: The man in his boxer shorts standing over JENNIFER RIGGS on the bed. Flash to white. Resume to Present.) Brass: Who was at this party? Jennifer Riggs: It was a floor party. That's why I had to leave school. Somebody that I was living with attacked me ... and I was never going to know who. (SARA nods her head then glances back at GRISSOM. Camera holds on GRISSOM.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CO-ED DORM - ELEVATOR - DAY] (The dorm elevator moves up the second, third and stops on the fourth floor. Inside the elevator, GRISSOM, WARRICK, and SARA waits for the elevator door to open.) Sara: (o.s.) Why would a rapist voluntarily give up his DNA? Grissom: Officially, we're looking for the individual who abducted Paige Rycoff not the student who raped Jennifer Riggs. [INT. CO-ED DORM - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (The elevator door opens and the three walk out.) Warrick: Oh, so as long as the students participate voluntarily we can use their DNA as we e fit. Sara: Ah, the old Bait and Switch. Warrick: The ole' Smart and Legal. Sara: Yeah, but what if someone refuses? Grissom: That's what we're hoping for. De facto suspect. (They round the corner where all the men living on the fourth floor are lined up against the wall. There are several officers there.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HALLWAY -SOME TIME LATER] (The men are lined up and SARA is taking a swab sample of their DNA. WARRICK is behind her collecting the swabs as she finishes them. She finishes one and hands it to WARRICK then moves to the next co-ed.) Sara: Open. (The N.D. STUDENT clears his throat and doesn't.) Sara: Are you refusing? N.D. Student: I haven't brushed my teeth. Warrick: Hey, mouth boy, she's not going to kiss you. She just wants your DNA, okay? (The N.D. STUDENT opens his mouth and SARA takes the sample.) [SCENE_BREAK] (A top angled, camera vide of the collection in the hallway.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB - DAY] (CLOSE UP of a cotton swab tip being cut into a small plastic sample container (sorry, can't see what the writing on the container is). The container next to it already containing a swab sample is E05.) (CUT TO: GREG fills the following containers: E15, E14, E13, E12, E11.) (CUT TO: GREG put the completed rack with the samples into the machine. He shuts it closed and turns it on.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- GREG'S LAB] (GRISSOM walks in. He's holding his pager.) Grissom: Friederich Miescher requests my presence? Greg: Figured out my code, huh? Well, you know, my boy Freddy discovered DNA. Grissom: He's been dead a hundred years, Greg. What do you got? Greg: Well, I ran the samples on COfiler(TM) and Profiler Plus (TM). Then I compared each specimen against the types obtained from the dried semen that you found on the victim's mattress ... Grissom: Are we paying you by the word? (GREG looks back at GRISSOM then silently gets the test results and puts them on the table for GRISSOM to look at.) Grissom: Thirteen markers. Thirteen matches. One suspect. Thank you. (GRISSOM turns to leave.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BASEBALL PRACTICE FIELD - DAY] (CLOSE UP of a baseball coming out of a pitching machine and the batter waiting for it, hitting it. GRISSOM and BRASS cross the path with their hands out to hold the next pitch. They're on their way somewhere accompanied by two officers.) Brass: Kevin Watson, 19, room 407 just down the hall from our girls. Athletic director says he plays first base, bats right-handed. Grissom: Any record? Brass: Three "D"'s and a "C," nothing criminal. Number 25, just like McGwire. Grissom: Yeah? I wonder how he hits. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BASEBALL PRACTICE FIELD - DUGOUT - DAY] (GRISSOM and BRASS are questioning KEVIN WATSON.) Grissom: Listen, Kevin, we know that you assaulted Jennifer Riggs. Grissom: Why don't you just tell us about Paige Rycoff. Kevin Watson: I don't know anything about Paige ... or Jennifer. Grissom: Well, I'll tell you what I know. Jennifer Riggs was raped. We found semen on her mattress. We matched the seminal DNA to you. Kevin Watson: Q-tip down my throat. Thought you were here trying to find out what happened to Paige. Grissom: We are. Brass: So what did happen, Kevin? You attack Paige, too? Hell, you been in her room before but unlike her roommate Paige fought back, is that it? Kevin Watson: I never touched Paige. I wasn't even in town. Three ball games in Fresno. We got back yesterday. Check the roster. Ask coach. Brass: No, I'll do that but in the meantime, you're coming with us. You're under arrest for the use of a controlled substance in the sexual assault on Jennifer Riggs. Get him out of here. (The officers take KEVIN WATSON away from the dugout. GRISSOM has his hand up on the wall. He's not happy about the results of this interview.) Brass: (to the officers) Wait for me. Wait for me in the car. (GRISSOM turns as WARRICK joins the group.) Grissom: Another dead end. Warrick: Yeah, I know, I talked to the coach. Road trip. Grissom: We're losing her. (Camera holds on WARRICK and BRASS.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V ROOM] (CATHERINE and NICK are still going thought the video footage of the parking lot the night PAIGE RYCOFF disappeared.) Catherine: ... and there it is again. Nick: You know, that car circled the block six times between... 8:20 and 8:40 P.M? Catherine: All right, you loop around twice you're looking for a parking space. Six times ... Nick: You're up to no good. Catherine: Is that something hanging from the rearview mirror? (NICK hits the rewind on the video.) Catherine: Why don't you zoom in on that. (NICK does his magic and get a close up of a Las Vegas University Parking Permit. They smile at the find.) Nick: You know, it's easier to get a master's degree than a parking spot on campus. Catherine: Right. Why don't you meet up with university parking and cross-reference all silver Volvos. Nick: Right. Catherine: Oh, and Nick? Nick: Yeah? Catherine: When you find the car ... Nick: I know -- check the trunk. (NICK leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY PARKING - DAY] (CLOSE UP of a Las Vegas University Parking Permit #27356 hanging from the rear view mirror of a car. GRISSOM and CATHERINE approach the car. NICK is already there.) Catherine: Silver Volvo. University I.D. Grissom: A world of possibilities reduced to a single car? Nick: Registered to Robert Woodbury, Philosophy Professor, tenured. Detail's almost got the latch. (A technician jimmies open the trunk lock. The hatch pops open. GRISSOM and CATHERINE lean in to examine the trunk's contents. In the middle of the trunk, there's something covered with a black, white and gray pattered blanket. It's large enough to be a body. NICK removes the blanket and finds that it's a set of golf clubs.) Grissom: Nick, tow it to CSI and process. Cath ... Catherine: Office hours with the Professor. Prof. Robert Woodbury: (V.O.) Yes ... [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PROF. WOODBURY'S OFFICE - DAY] Prof. Robert Woodbury: ... I was near the dorm that night. Catherine: Professor Woodbury, you circled the block six times. Brass: Let's start with an easy question. Paige Rycoff was a student of yours. Prof. Robert Woodbury: Introduction to philosophy, yes. (A light knock on the door just before a pretty student pops her head into the office. She's smiling.) Prof. Robert Woodbury: Amanda ... uh, I'll talk to you tomorrow after class. (The student leaves and the door closes.) Willows: Cute. Let me guess-- "C" student? Prof. Robert Woodbury: Not if I can help it. (GRISSOM notices a piece of something on the floor near the couch and picks it up.) Catherine: And what kind of student was Paige? Prof. Robert Woodbury: She was a very bright, young woman. Grissom: "Some circumstantial evidence is very strong as when you find a trout in the milk." Prof. Robert Woodbury: Henry David Thoreau. But that's just broken pottery. Grissom: My perception -- sign of struggle. (This gets no response from PROF. WOODBURY.) Grissom: Okay, look, it's been six days. If you have a legitimate reason for being outside of her dorm, tell us. If you have an illegitimate reason tell us that. Tell us something, so that we can move forward. (PROF. WOODBURY looks uncomfortable. Still, he says nothing.) Grissom: Again, my perception -- silence confirms guilt. (CATHERINE and BRASS stand. They're getting ready to leave.) Catherine: We found you. We will find what you're hiding. Prof. Robert Woodbury: I'm married. Catherine: Yep. The ring indicates that. Brass: Your car's on the way to the crime lab. We're going to need to search your home. Prof. Robert Woodbury: She was never in my car; she was never in my house. Brass: Where has she been? Prof. Robert Woodbury: Here. That's how the vase broke, because we were ... Catherine: Physical. Prof. Robert Woodbury: Amorous. Catherine: Oh, so you cared about her? But obviously not enough to come forward. Prof. Robert Woodbury: And tell you what? That I cheat on my wife with my student who is missing and I have absolutely no information? Grissom: If it was important enough for you to hide it's important enough for us to know. Catherine: Any idea where she might be? Prof. Robert Woodbury: No. I ... I went to the dorm. I-I did. I went to, I don't know, maybe to stop her maybe to say good-bye one last time but at the very least, I wanted to see her. But she never came down. Brass: Let's take a ride in the black-and-white. Prof. Robert Woodbury: Can I meet you there? I-I'm not going anywhere. I just need a little time to explain all this to my wife. Brass: No, I understand. I'll send an officer with you, just in case. Prof. Robert Woodbury: Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- GARAGE -- DAY] (NICK is taking photographs of the car's trunk. SARA is going through the contents of the golf bag that she has spread out on the floor near the car. They're processing PROF. WOODBURY'S car.) (CUT TO: NICK inside the car. He finds some strands of light-colored hair caught under the passenger seat head rest. He picks it up and looks at it closely.) FLASH TO WHITE: [SCENE_BREAK] (CLOSE UP of a single strand of hair being examined and compared with another strand of hair under a microscope. GREG is looking at the samples in his lab under a microscope. SARA is standing near him.) [INT. CSI -- GREG'S LAB] Greg: Medulla, cuticle and cortex are a visual match to the hairs I pulled from Paige Rycoff's brush. The roots have skin tags. (NICK joins them and looks at the sample in the microscope.) Nick: Means hairs were ripped at the root. (Quick Flashback to: A hand pulling hard on PAIGE RYCOFF'S hair.) Paige Rycoff: Ouch! (Flash to white. CGI Close up of a hair at the root and it being pulled out. Flash to white. Resume Present.) Sara: Too bad this doesn't get us any closer to finding Paige. Nick: She was in his car. It gets us closer to our suspect. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPT - INTERROGATION ROOM] (Standing outside in the hallway is SHARON WOODBURY. The camera pans over (through the wall) into the interrogation room where PROF. ROBERT WOODBURY is being questioned by GRISSOM and BRASS.) Brass: Let me remind you, you have the right to counsel. Prof. Robert Woodbury: I don't need counsel. The only person I was hiding from was my wife. She knows everything now. So ask your questions. Grissom: We found some of Paige's hair in your car. Prof. Robert Woodbury: Well, that's impossible because she's never been in my car. Are you sure it was hers? Grissom: You mean, uh, will it stand up in court? Yes, it will. Prof. Robert Woodbury: Well, maybe it was on my sweater or something. Grissom: Four strands of hair pulled out by the root, on the passenger's headrest. Prof. Robert Woodbury: I don't know ... Brass: How about this one? A phone call made from your house to Paige's dorm room the day she disappeared. Prof. Robert Woodbury: I only use my cell phone when I call her -- not my office, not my home. Brass: 12:16 P.M., Four minutes long. Prof. Robert Woodbury: Faculty lunch that day, 12:00 to 2:00, every department head. And it will stand up in court. Grissom: Professor Woodbury, does your wife work? Prof. Robert Woodbury: (reacts to the question) No. (GRISSOM tilts his head for the PROFESSOR to answer the question.) Prof. Robert Woodbury: (softer) No. (Camera hold on BRASS.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPT HALLWAY] (Everyone is standing out in the main hallway. BRASS is questioning SHARON WOODBURY while her husband and GRISSOM watch.) Brass: So, are you home during the day? Sharon Woodbury: Sometimes. Brass: Were you home around twelve o'clock on the day that Paige Rycoff disappeared? Sharon Woodbury: I don't remember. Prof. Robert Woodbury: Sharon, someone called Paige from the house, and it wasn't me. Brass: Mrs. Woodbury do you have the keys to your husband's car? Sharon Woodbury: We share it. It's our car. Prof. Robert Woodbury: How long have you known? Sharon Woodbury: About this one or all the others? I knew that she was different. And I wasn't about to let some kid walk away with my marriage so I called her up, took her for a ride explained the facts of life to her-- wife, three kids, mortgage. She said it was over, she was going home. Didn't say why; I didn't ask. Grissom: Mrs. Woodbury, I think you're leaving something out. Prof. Robert Woodbury: They found Paige's hair in the car and they think ... did you attack her? Sharon Woodbury: No. I wanted to. I almost did. She went to get out of the car. (Quick Flashback to SHARON WOODBURY driving the car (with parking permit hanging from the rear view mirror). PAIGE RYCOFF is in the passenger seat.) Sharon Woodbury: (to PAIGE) You are 18. What the hell do you know about love? Paige Rycoff: I don't need to take this. (PAIGE opens the door and moves to get out. Her hair gets caught in the headrest.) Paige Rycoff: Ow! (She leaves anyway. Flash to white. Resume Present.) Sharon Woodbury: I stopped her. Apologized. We talked. And I dropped her off. (A cell phone rings. GRISSOM reaches for it.) Grissom: Excuse me. Brass: Yeah. Grissom: (to phone) Grissom. (GRISSOM'S eye brows rise as he listens. He doesn't say anything.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. GARBAGE FACILITY -- NIGHT] (A coroner's van passes the camera. GRISSOM with his CSI kit walks toward WARRICK who is waiting for him. There are police officers there and inaudible radio transmissions in the background.) Grissom: So, is it her? Warrick: I don't know. I just got here myself. Some homeless guy searching for hidden treasure finds a body. P.D.'S here on the scene. We got first looks. (Both men duck under the yellow police tape that the officer holds up for them.) Officer: Right there. (The OFFICER holds out his flashlight making the beam of light hit on the area that they want GRISSOM and WARRICK to check out. GRISSOM picks up his flashlight and holds it to the spot. The OFFICER leaves.) (WARRICK and GRISSOM pass the blocks of garbage. They stop when they come upon the find. PAIGE RYCOFF'S face peeking through the mess. She's dead.) (GRISSOM sighs. WARRICK nods his head.) Warrick: (softly) Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FORENSIC AUTOPSY BAY] (CLOSE UP of PAIGE RYCOFF on the M.E.'S table.) Robbins: I've seen things like this before. When I worked in Arlington, Virginia, every winter homeless trying to stay warm take a nap in a dumpster wake up in a garbage compactor. Mulch. Catherine: Warrick and I searched the trash chute at the dorm. It was clean. There was no reason to check the dumpster. Grissom: So you're saying she was killed by the compactor. Crushed to death. Robbins: No, she was crushed post-mortem. Grissom: And you know this how? (ROBBINS lifts up the cloth covering and shows a scrape of skin.) Robbins: Tissue in the extremities was yellow and dry. Means blood wasn't pumping through her veins when she went through that compactor. Catherine: So what did kill her? Robbins: Massive internal bleeding. Her spleen ruptured. Grissom: From what? Robbins: Blunt-force trauma. Catherine: Point of impact? Robbins: Rib cage. Ribs weren't crushed. (CGI Flash: Camera moves from above PAIGE RYCOFF focusing on her chest. It moves down to the cloth. CGI takes over and shows us how inside PAIGE, a cracked rib ruptures something. Blood squirts out of the rupture. We hear heartbeats. Flash to white. Resume Present. Camera on GRISSOM.) Robbins: They sustained a single blow. Grissom: Type of weapon? Robbins: I-I have no idea. I'm still trying to straighten her out. Truth? I may never know. Catherine: Now what? Grissom: Well, you followed the lead, it went cold. Now it's hot again. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ALLEYWAY AROUND DUMPSTER -- DAY] (The entire team is working the scene. CATHERINE is near a tarp on the side of the road. NICK and GRISSOM are working on the dumpster exterior while WARRICK nd SARA are inside the dumpster.) Warrick: I found some blood. Sara: Yeah. Not much, but enough to work with. Grissom: Okay. Photograph it, swab it. Let's get it back to the lab. Catherine: If it's hers, maybe that's why the scent dogs lost their trail. The odor from the dumpster would've ... thrown them off. Nick: Hey, I think I got something here. Check this out. The whole dumpster's beat to hell. This one spot's fresh. (GRISSOM looks at it closely through his magnifying glass.) Grissom: Nick's right - the vehicle paint chips metal flecks in the color coat. Catherine: There's some matching chips on the ground. (She collects it.) Sara: Still, there's no reason to think there's a connection between the paint transfer and Paige. Grissom: No reason to think there's not. Nick: Possibly a hit-and-run? Means the vehicle had a high ground clearance. Maybe an SUV? Catherine: It would explain the blunt-force trauma. Point of impact was her abdomen. (Quick Flashback to that night in the alleyway. A car is speeding through the alley and swerves around another car. Tires screeching. Flash to white. A figure walks out past the dumpster. The car swipes the dumpster with a thud and hits PAIGE RYCOFF head on. End of Flashback.) Warrick: Driver tossed her in the dumpster to hide his crime. Grissom: Or "her" crime. Catherine: Mrs. Woodbury. Grissom: She's still a viable suspect. Catherine: But with a silver car. Sara: She could have rented, borrowed it from a friend. (NICK'S looking up the garbage chute.) Nick: Still, why was Paige even down here? Grissom: Look, let's stick to the "how" -- we'll deal with the "why" later. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CSI LAB] Grissom: The car that impacted the dumpster was originally white then painted red, and now it's black. (GRISSOM and NICK are looking at the results of the paint analysis from the sample taken from the garbage dumpster in the alleyway.) Nick: There's two coats of primer between each paint job. Quality work -- probably a dealership. Grissom: Every paint has a unique light absorption rate. We I.D. The paint, we get to the car. Nick: Really? (NICK hits the space bar on the computer and another screen pops up. It's the light absorption analysis that identifies the car and year.) Nick: Cherokee, '89 or '90. Three paint jobs, all factory stock. Stone white, flame red and there's your midnight black there. Grissom: Well, this narrows our scope. Call Brass. Nick: Done. An hour ago. [SCENE_BREAK] [CSI HALLWAY] (GRISSOM walks out of the lab. He's on his way somewhere when he's met up with WARRICK.) Warrick: Where you been? Grissom: I can't be everywhere, Warrick and they banned human cloning. Warrick: I just left Sanders. The blood from the dumpster matches Paige. (GRISSOM turns around to WARRICK. NICK appears and catches them both.) Nick: (to GRISSOM) Hey. Brass just called. He's down at P.D. Paint to car; car to driver. Suspect's down there -- he's looking for you. (GRISSOM leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPT. - INTERROGATION ROOM] (GRISSOM makes his way through the hallway to the interrogation room where BRASS is with MARK DOYLE, the driver of the car that hit the dumpster.) Brass: Expectant father. Mark Doyle: My wife's pregnant. Almost nine months. She beeped me. I was trying to get home. Couldn't believe the traffic. Brass: (sighs) You always drive through campus? Mark Doyle: We live on the other side of fraternity row. It's a straight shot from my office but I get to the freshman dorm, nothing's moving. Brass: What time is this? Mark Doyle: Around 8:30, I guess. Brass: So you took a shortcut? Mark Doyle: Yeah, I thought I was having a baby so I gunned it down the alley. Grissom: Then what happened? Mark Doyle: I veered to avoid the parked van. It was wet ... and I swiped the dumpster. (Quick Flashback of MARK DOYLE driving his car. It's raining outside. There's a van on the side. The car tires screech and swerves to avoid the van and hits the dumpster on the other side. Flash to white. End of flashback.) Mark Doyle: If I had hit a car, I would've stopped. It ... it was just dumpster. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI GARAGE] (CATHERINE is examining MARK DOYLE'S car with a magnifying glass. Behind her, GRISSOM holds the flashlight. Everyone's there.) Catherine: Paint transfer's green, just like the dumpster. Grissom: Doesn't mean he didn't also hit a body. Warrick: We have sprayed, U.V.'D -- no hair, no fibers, no blood anywhere. Sara: It was a clean strike against the dumpster. (NICK rolls out from under the car on a dolly. He sighs.) Nick: Your guy didn't hit Paige. Catherine: And we've chased another lead to a dead end. Sara: We still have Mrs. Woodbury. Nick: Or her husband. Warrick: Oh, we've got tons of motives. Not a stitch of evidence. Grissom: H.L. Mencken once said, "There's an easy solution to every human problem -- neat, plausible ... and wrong." So if the solution to our problem is not neat, plausible and wrong; then it could be messy, unlikely and right. Right? Grissom: A butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil we get a hurricane of the coast of Florida. Chaos theory. Nick: Here we go. Grissom: Random events; the wholesale rejection of linear thought. Warrick: Physics meets philosophy. Grissom: If we apply it to Paige Rycoff and our case at this particular moment in time then we can say, "Life is unpredictable." Catherine: No one can predict more than a few seconds into the future. Nick: I predict I'll still be standing here one minute from now. Warrick: Where are we going with this? Grissom: Paige was in her dorm room and then ended up in the dumpster. Somewhere between her dorm room and the dumpster is our answer. That's where we're going. Coming, Nick? (Everyone leaves. Nick smiles as he's caught.) Warrick: Nice try, Nostradamus. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PAIGE RYCOFF'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT] (CLOSE UP of GRISSOM.) Grissom: Look out the window. What do you see? (SARA'S standing near the window. She turns and looks out the window. The camera switches back to GRISSOM. Stop/motion time/lapse camera view moves from GRISSOM to the window where we see PAIGE RYCOFF turn around to look back at GRISSOM.) Paige Rycoff: (SARA/PAIGE'S voice) Traffic. My cab is waiting for me. Grissom: So what do you do next? Paige Rycoff: Grab my suitcases ... get out of town. (The suitcases appear in the room. PAIGE RYCOFF moves to pick up the suitcases.) Grissom: Stop. Suitcases never left the room. You didn't take them with. Paige Rycoff: I've been cleaning all day. Grissom: Because you want your security deposit back. Paige Rycoff: Yeah, I have to leave the room exactly like I found it. (sentence ends with SARA/PAIGE'S voice) Grissom: So what's missing? Sara: Two box springs, two mattresses two desks... two lamps, two chairs, two dressers. (She thinks about it.) Sara: Trash can? (She looks for it.) Sara: And it's missing. Grissom: What's the last thing you do after you've done the cleaning? Sara: Take out the trash. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DORM - FOURTH FLOOR - HALLWAY] (GRISSOM knocks on the door of room 412. A woman opens the door.) Grissom: Hi. Could I borrow your trash can? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HALLWAY JUST OUTSIDE PAIGE RYCOFF'S ROOM -- CONTINUOUS] (SARA opens the garbage chute door.) Sara: Paige dumps the trash, goes back to her room. How does she end up in the dumpster? Grissom: You're thinking too linear. Chaos Theory, remember? Just dump it. Sara: Okay. (SARA almost drops the can down the chute. She manages to save it.) Whoa. Almost took my hand off. Grissom: Maybe you were quicker than Paige was. (GRISSOM sees a student nearby and calls out to him.) Grissom: Excuse me. Could you do me a favor? We're doing a little experiment. Could you count to a hundred and then drop this can all the way down the chute? Thanks. (He gives the trash can to the student. Then turns to leave.) Grissom: Watch your fingers. (They leave. The student looks around and moves toward the garbage chute. Camera holds on student.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ALLEYWAY - DUMPSTER - NIGHT] (GRISSOM and SARA enter the alleyway where WARRICK, CATHERINE and NICK are waiting. The trash can falls through the garbage chute with a loud clang.) Catherine: What the hell is going on? Grissom: There was a busted spring in the chute. Warrick: Oh, yeah, I had to prop that open when Catherine rappelled down. Catherine: Relevance? Grissom: The trash can was missing from Paige's room. Nick: You're thinking she accidentally dropped it down the chute. Then how did she end up in the dumpster? Sara: She wanted her security deposit back. Warrick: And there's no easy access here. Catherine: Right, so ... she had to improvise. (CATHERINE gets an idea.) Catherine: (to NICK) Excuse me. Nick: Oh. Please. (NICK moves out of the way. CATHERINE positions herself between the dumpster and the wall that the dumpster is against.) Catherine: This actually happened to me once before, with a set of keys. Eddie and I had this huge blowout. He threw my keys in the trash. All right, so Paige ... leans over reaches for the trash can. Grissom: But just then, here comes Mark Doyle. (Quick Flashback to top angle view of MARK DOYLE'S SUV gunning it down the alleyway toward the parked van. Cut to: PAIGE RYCOFF squeezing herself between the dumpster and the wall just as CATHERINE did.) (Cut back to the back view of the car as it moves down the alleyway. Cut to PAIGE RYCOFF as she starts climbing up the dumpster. Her weight against the dumpster causes it to roll out from its position against the wall and into the alley.) (Cut to: MARK DOYLE'S SUV swerving to avoid the van and swiping the rolling dumpster. It's impact sends the dumpster back against the wall with PAIGE RYCOFF caught between. She cries out in pain. Flash to white. It knocks her unconscious and she falls into the dumpster with a thud.) FLASH TO WHITE: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GRISSOM'S OFFICE] (GRISSOM has just explained what happened to PAIGE RYCOFF'S parents. MRS. RYCOFF sits there stunned. GRISSOM is sitting behind his desk. CATHERINE is standing behind him.) Mr. Rycoff: Let me get this straight. You're saying a confluence of unrelated, unfortunate events conspired ... to kill my daughter. Grissom: Yes. Mrs. Rycoff: No, no, no. Somebody is responsible. Grissom: Mrs. Rycoff there is no one guilty of this. Mrs. Rycoff: Because you say so? (MRS. RYCOFF stands.) Grissom: Because the evidence says so. (MR. RYCOFF stands.) Mr. Rycoff: We'll hire an investigator, as many as necessary. Someone killed Paige and my wife and I won't rest until every question is answered. (They leave the office.) Grissom: We told them what happened. Catherine: Yeah, but we didn't give them what they needed-- some closure. Grissom: Truth brings closure. Catherine: Not always.	Plan: A: The entire CSI team; Q: Who investigates a disappearance at a local university? A: A young woman; Q: Who vanished at a local university? A: the earth; Q: Where did the young woman vanish off the face of? A: Forensics; Q: What leads the CSI team to possible suspects? A: probable motives; Q: What do all possible suspects have? A: the "Chaos Theory; Q: What theory does the CSI team discuss? A: a deadly outcome; Q: What can happen when many seemingly-innocuous events are combined? A: reach; Q: What is closure not always within? Summary: The entire CSI team investigates a disappearance at a local university. A young woman vanished, seemingly off the face of the earth. Forensics leads them to possible suspects, and possible suspects all have probable motives, but nothing seems to pan out. This leads our team to discuss the "Chaos Theory." When combined, many seemingly-innocuous events may have a deadly outcome. And closure is not always within reach.
Opening shots and recap. JACK : (VO) Torchwood : outside the government, beyond the police. Tracking down alien life on Earth and arming the human race against the future. The 21st century is when everything changes, and you've gotta be ready. EXT. A WOOD - NIGHT Camera closes on a figure moving through the woods, speaking. ESTELLE : (VO) I'm returning to the same spot. I do hope they're here. As the figure moves closer it can be seen that the voice belongs to an elderly, though active, woman with short grey hair. She has a camera around her neck and speaks into a dictaphone, quietly, like a bird watcher. ESTELLE : I have to move carefully. Don't want to frighten them. Now I'm there. She pauses behind the edge of a tree branch and views the scene before her. ESTELLE : They are. They're here. Shot moves behind Estelle. Before her is a clearing within which is a circle of stout stones. A group of small, bright white lights fly above the stones - fairies from a children's tale. The view closes on Estelle's face once more; she is overjoyed by the sight. ESTELLE : The darlings ! Estelle raises a professional analogue camera and takes several photographs. The fairies are unconcerned by the flashes of light and even pause briefly in flight as if posing. A whispering of half hear voices and laughter of children can be heard on the wind. As Estelle turns to leave some of the fairies fly away, others land near the stones. The fairies on the ground morph into tall, grotesque figures with elongated limbs and they give a throaty, cackling laugh. OPENING CREDITS. INT. THE HUB - NIGHT It is dark and quiet. Track through the hub to Jack's office then down. Overview : Jack lies on a narrow bed under a stone arch. His eyes are open but as they close a steam train horn is heard and flashes of memory are seen. Jack twitches as is having a nightmare. INTERCUT views of Jack with : INT. A TRAIN Jack in army uniform looks happy. Then flashes of bodies of soldiers, collapsed with red flower petals protruding from their mouths. Jack moves around the train carriage, confused and horrified. Jack wakes suddenly. INT. THE HUB - JACK'S OFFICE - SHORT TIME LATER Jack, now casually dressed climbs up through a man hole in his office. He leans on his desk and breathes out deeply. He looks down and sees a red flower petal on top of his papers. He picks it up, then hearing a noise he turns, placing the petal in his pocket. Ianto stands just outside his office flicking through some papers, unaware of Jack. JACK : You shouldn't be here. Ianto looks up, surprised, and closes the file. He is tense in Jack's presence, the shadow of recent events damaging their relationship. IANTO : Neither should you. Ianto walks away quickly and begins work on a computer. Jack follows, takes a breath and places a hand on Ianto's shoulder, trying to move on. Ianto looks round at Jack's hand but says nothing. JACK : What ya got ? Ianto takes a deep breath, pleased at the lack of awkward questions, the tension slightly lessened. He shrugs off Jack's hand as adjusts his jacket. IANTO : Funny sorta weather patterns. EXT. A SCHOOL - DAY Primary school age children are leaving the grounds for the day, being collected by their parents. One girl is alone. She stands by the roadside railing waiting to be picked up, unspoken to. A man sits in a car opposite, watching. EXT. A SUBURBAN HOME - DAY A middle aged man walks out of the house followed by a woman holding a coat. LYNNE : Didn't you see what the time was ? She hands the man his coat as he walks towards his car. She follows him to the edge of the garden. ROY : I was on the phone wasn't I ? LYNNE : Well shall I call the school ? ROY : Don't be stupid. She'll be alright. As he goes to the car Lynne walks back towards the house. EXT. JASMINE'S SCHOOL - CONTINUOUS Jasmine stands waiting still. Two girls walk by and one pulls Jasmine's platted pigtails. JASMINE : Ow ! The other girls laugh and walk away - she is obviously bullied regularly by them. A teacher is near by and sees Jasmine standing alone. KATE : Who's pickin' you up, Jasmine ? JASMINE : Roy. Kate checks her watch. The man still sits watching Jasmine, unseen by Kate amongst all the other parents. She hears some other children causing a fuss and leaves to stop them. The man sees his opportunity and drives slowly towards Jasmine. [SCENE_BREAK] Jasmine walks down a flight of stairs in a wooded area. The man is waiting on the road at the bottom of the steps. As Jasmine walks down the road he drives beside her and speaks through his open window, his intentions clear. GOODSON : Your mum asked me to fetch you. POV MARA - from above they watch Jasmine beside the car, just under a bridge. GOODSON : She's a bit late. View beside Jasmine, alongside the car. Jasmine walks away and Goodson drives forward quickly to block her way. He stops, exits the car and stands in front of Jasmine, leaning down to speak to her. GOODSON : I promised your mum I'd fetch you. So get in the car. Jasmine moves to pass Goodson but he blocks her path then grabs her arm. GOODSON : Did you hear me ? Jasmine tries to pull away but is unable to. Brief POV MARA they approach. A wind gusts, blowing leaves. The area darkens. POV MARA. The Mara, unseen, jumps at Goodson who is knocked backwards against his car. MARA : Come away, oh, human child. Goodson is turned and thrown against the car by unseen assailants, injuring his nose. MARA : Come away... Come away... Goodson looks around then struggles back into his car, the wind strong enough to make his struggle with the door. He closes the window hurriedly and dabs his nose. Jasmine smiles happily and walks away. The man watches her walk down the path, now bathed in sunlight, the air calm. EXT. A STREET - DAY Gwen and Jack walk along on their way to a seminar. GWEN : What exactly are we doing here ? JACK : Had an invitation from an old friend. POV MARA - in a tree watching Jack and Gwen. JACK : Here we go. Gwen sees a poster next to the door. GWEN : Fairies, are you kiddin' me ? Jack turns and smiles - 'honestly' - then backs into the building followed by Gwen. To the left of the entrance is a sketched advertisement - 'Fairies, fact or fantasy ?' INT. A SMALL MEETING HALL Estelle stands before rows of near empty plastic chairs, next to a projector which shows a picture of fairies and a child. ESTELLE : I suppose I'm one of the fortunate few who's been allowed to see our little friends... Jack and Gwen enter quietly and sit at the rear of the room. ESTELLE : ... and it's been no easy task. One needs to have the patience of a saint and the blind faith of a prophet, but for me the long wait has been worthwhile. Jack smiling broadly next to Gwen who looks bored and sceptical. Jack looks at her and his smile lessens. ESTELLE : This is my first picture. Not that clear I know, but the ring of stones can be seen quite distinctly. Jack looks suddenly concerned. GWEN : (Mutters) I don't believe this. JACK : Ssshh ! Estelle swaps the image on the projector and smiles warmly. ESTELLE : Well, of course I'm not the world's best photographer... Gwen looks at Jack, serious, then fights a smile. Jack indulgently smiles at Estelle then shakes his head, his attention only for Estelle. ESTELLE : ... but this little person is just about visible. I was so lucky to have seen them, so privileged to witness such a magical moment because fairies are shy you see, but I know in my heart that they are friendly, loving creatures. Gwen bites her lip, stifling a laugh again while Jack shakes his head, still concerned. Estelle turns off the projector, her talk over, and she smiles at the audience. ESTELLE : Thank you. The lights come up and Gwen claps. People from the audience move to the front to speak to Estelle. JACK : Wrong, she always gets it wrong. CUT TO : A short time later, Jack runs through the slides, Estelle at his side. Gwen sits a little distance away. JACK : Estelle, when did you take these ? ESTELLE : A couple of nights ago. JACK : Where ? ESTELLE : In Round Stone wood. GWEN : Not far from here. ESTELLE : So good to see you again, Jack. Jack returns her smile warmly. ESTELLE : Oh, look, there's the wood. Estelle hands Jack a picture and he sighs. GWEN : What's wrong ? ESTELLE : Oh, Jack and I have always disagreed about fairies. I only see the good ones, he only ever sees the bad. JACK : They're all bad. ESTELLE : No, I refuse to believe that ! They are jovial and happy to be together even in disagreement. GWEN : Well I suppose one person's good could be someone else's evil. ESTELLE : That's what his father used to say. Gwen's interest is briefly piqued. Jack looks at Estelle fondly, his arms casually around her back, protective. ESTELLE : Oh, Jack. If only you'd seen them there in the wood. They were happy, they were dancing, the fairy lights were shining. JACK : Do you have any more photos ? ESTELLE : Yes, at home. JACK : Right. I need to see them all. Jack and Estelle smile together, familiar and at ease. Gwen rolls her eyes, believing this to be pointless. EXT. A CARDIFF STREET - DAY Goodson walks down the street wiping his nose, looking about in paranoia. He is nervous and twitchy. A piece of blue tarpaulin being shaken in front of him on the quiet street makes him jump. He hears voices in the trees and spins around looking for the Mara. As he does so he bumps into a man. MAN : Something wrong mate ? GOODSON : No, sorry. MAN : Well, look where you're bloody goin' ! Goodson looks around then runs towards Cardiff Indoor Market. He jogs through the market, bumping into people. He pauses as he hears the Mara flying about, chittering. He looks up then briefly sees a Mara above him. It plunges down on him from above. A fraction of a second later the Mara has gone and Goodson staggers away, bent over and choking. People stare at him as he stumbles through the market, no one helps him - they think he is drunk. Goodson stops and begins vomiting red flower petals, at first a few then whole mouthfuls. He continues moving, still stumbling, gabbing hold of people as they walk past, each of them throwing him off. Goodson gets outside and sees a police officer. He runs to her and grabs her collar, shaking her. GOODSON : Oh, God, help me ! Help me please ! WPO : Alright mate, just calm down. Goodson pushes her out of the way and opens the door of the police car. They struggle over the door as he tries to get inside. WPO : Hey, hold on you ! Goodson shuts the door and grabs the police woman again, begging for her help. GOODSON : You gotta help me ! He looks at the passers-by, beseeching them for help. They ignore him. The police officer annoyed by his behaviour pulls his arms behind his back and pushes him face first to the patrol car bonnet and handcuffs him. WPO : Right mate, that's it. Goodson is crying, distraught and terrified for his life. GOODSON : They're coming to kill me. INT. JASMINE'S HOUSE - DAY A neat hallway in a family home. At the end of the hall is a frosted glass doorway, the blurred figures of Roy and Jasmine can be seen outside. Roy opens the door and Jasmine enters, walks towards the kitchen. Lynne enters through a side door and addresses Roy. LYNNE : Where was she ? ROY : Walking home on her own. LYNNE : (To Jasmine) Jas, come here. ROY : Do what your mum says. JASMINE : You're not my dad. ROY : Just bloody well do what she says. Lynne walks over and takes Jasmine's hand, bending down to speak to her on a level. LYNNE : You must never walk home on yer own, you understand ? It's not safe. JASMINE : It's alright mum, no one can hurt me. Jasmine walks away and Lynne stares after her. INT. ESTELLE'S HOUSE Jack and Gwen put down some of Estelle's things in her living room. It is a homely room, filled with collected memories. ESTELLE : Oh, thank you Jack. This is Moses. Gwen walks across the room to see a black and white cat. Estelle hands Jack a cardboard folder of pictures. ESTELLE : They're mostly just pictures of the area. Jack starts looking through the pictures while Estelle goes to pick up Moses. ESTELLE : Come on my darling, quite time you went outside. She takes the cat from the room. Jack smiling at her as she passes. Gwen glances around the room and started looking at the framed photographs littering the mantelpiece. She notices a black and white picture of Jack in WWII RAF uniform, picks it up and carries it over to Jack. GWEN : This is you. Jack takes the picture from her, looks and denies Gwen's thought sincerely. JACK : Sorry, no. That's my dad. He smiles and puts the picture back. JACK : He and Estelle were quite an item once upon a time. They were inseparable. Gwen sits on the sofa and looks up at Jack as he arranges the photographs, acting like he is familiar with the house rather than being a guest. GWEN : Then why did they part ? JACK : It was wartime, he was posted abroad, she volunteered to work on the land... Jack hands Gwen another picture from the mantle then returns to looking through the folder. JACK : ... It just happened that way. Gwen looks at the picture - Jack and Estelle on a pier. She then looks at Jack, a little suspicious. EXT. ESTELLE'S GARDEN - CONTINUOUS Gwen exits the house and goes into Estelle's wild, but well tended, garden. Estelle walks over. GWEN : If you don't mind me asking, did you know Jack's father after the war ? ESTELLE : No, we lost touch. Why ? GWEN : Did all three of you ever meet ? You, Jack and his father ? ESTELLE : No. Never. Jack contacted me a few years ago, I was so surprised. He's so like his dad, same walk, same smile. I hope he's still alive, he'd be in his early 90's now. GWEN : You could always ask Jack about him. ESTELLE : I have, but he doesn't seem to want to talk about his father. Jack enters the garden with the folder. JACK : Estelle, when you next see these creatures you call us immediately, understand ? ESTELLE : Uhhum. She looks up at Jack fondly and he puts a hand on her shoulder. JACK : Night or day, doesn't matter, just call us and be careful, it's important to me. Gwen looks at them, then walks away. ESTELLE : Jack, I've nothing to worry about. JACK : Just be careful. Gwen turns to see Jack hug Estelle close to his chest, an arms draped around her shoulders. He kisses her on her hair and rests his chin on her head. They remain like that for a while, both at ease, happy and comfortable in each other's company. EXT. FRONT OF ESTELLE'S HOUSE Jack and Gwen exit the house and walk down the path to the street. JACK : Estelle shouldn't be living in town, she belongs in the countryside. GWEN : How often do you get to see her ? JACK : We meet up now and again. GWEN : Whenever she's seen her fairies ? JACK : She calls 'em fairies, I don't. GWEN : What do you call 'em ? JACK : Never really had a proper name. GWEN : Why not ? JACK : Something form the dawn of time, how could you possibly put a name to that ? GWEN : Are we talkin' alien ? JACK : Worse. GWEN : How come ? JACK : Because they're part of us. Part of our world, yet we know nothing abut them. So we pretend to know what they look like, we see them as happy, we imagine they have tiny little wings and are bathed in moonlight. GWEN : They're not ? JACK : No. think dangerous. Think something you can only half see, like a glimpse, like something out of the corner of your eye, with a touch of myth, a touch of the spirit world, a touch of reality all jumbled together... Jack stops walking and faces Gwen, adding gravitas. JACK : ...old moments and memories that are frozen in amongst it, like debris spinning around a ringed planet, tossing, turning, whirling. Backwards and forwards through time. They look back towards Estelle's house. JACK : If that's them we have to find them. Before all hell breaks loose. Jack strides away, Gwen looks after him. EXT. JASMINE'S GARDEN Jasmine skips and walks quickly through the sunlit garden then under the fence at the end and into a wooded area. INT. JASMINE'S KITCHEN Roy looks out of the window, watching Jasmine go. Lynne is preparing food. ROY : Why won't she play anywhere else ? LYNNE : She likes it down there. ROY : Other kids have friends. Why doesn't have friends ? Must be somethin' wrong with 'er. LYNNE : There's nothing wrong with her. ROY : Well, when's the last time you saw her watchin' TV ? Or readin' a book ? Or playin' with a doll ? Or sittin' down to 'ave a chat with us ? When's the last time you 'eard her laugh ? Lynne stands thinking as Roy leaves the room, unable to remember Jasmine laughing for a very long time. EXT. WOODED FIELD - DAY Jasmine skips happily through the field. She holds up a stick and spins slowly, playing with unseen Mara. POV MARA - Looking down on Jasmine from the trees. They circle her, laughing happily. INT. THE HUB - BOARD ROOM Open on a picture of fairies. Turn to see Jack sitting at the far end of the table, concentrating. Ianto puts a mug down close to Jack. Turn back to screen to see Toshiko beside it giving the brief. Gwen sits at the table and Owen stands nearby. TOSHIKO : This is the youngest girl, and the girl's cousin. IANTO : I blame it in magic mushrooms. JACK : What you do in private is none of our business. GWEN : These photographs were faked. OWEN : Conan-Doyle believed in 'em. TOSHIKO : He was ga-ga at the time. OWEN : And Houdini. GWEN : Self publicist. JACK : (To Gwen) How do you know so much about it ? GWEN : Cos I wrote an essay on the Cottingley glass plate photographs when I was at school. Owen sniggers at her, Gwen ignores him. GWEN : And when the girls were old ladies they admitted they were fakes. Toshiko changes the picture on the screen. TOSHIKO : So where was this sighting then ? Gwen moves to have a closer look at the screen. JACK : In a place called Round Stone Wood. OWEN : Oh, I know it. Has an odd history. JACK : How d'ya mean, odd ? OWEN : It's always stayed wild. In the ancient times it was considered bad luck to walk in there, even collect timber, even the Roams stayed clear of it. TOSHIKO : I've had no report of any sighting. JACK : You won't. these things come in under the radar. But they play tricks with the weather so set up a programme for natural weather patterns. TOSHIKO : Right. GWEN : Are you saying our machines can't pick them up ? JACK : Nothing can. INT. POLICE STATION - CUSTODY BLOCK Goodson is being pushed through the custody block by the WPC. Goodson : What is it, is it gone ? As they get to the desk Goodson speaks to the officer. GOODSON : Somewhere safe, that's all I want. Just put me somewhere safe. WPC : Got a right one here. GOODSON : Look, they're tryin' a kill me. WPC : He said there were flowers in his mouth. CUSTODY SGT : Flowers ? GOODSON : They're trying to choke me. WPC : We checked, there was nothin'. GOODSON : And they didn't wanna hurt that little girl. It's just me, they just wanna hurt me. They just wanna kill me. CUSTODY SGT : Who wants to hurt you ? GOODSON : They won't leave me alone. I've done wrong. CUSTODY SGT : Name. GOODSON : It's little girls. It's their little bodies, it's their little smiles, they're bright as button. Look, I've been in trouble before, so just help me. Just lock me up ! Please. EXT. PATH THROUGH ROUND STONE WOOD Jack and Gwen walk side by side, Owen behind with a case looking up into the trees. Jack pushing buttons on his wrist cuff, scanning. GWEN : I asked Estelle about your dad. She said she'd never seen the pair of you together. She smiles, lightening the tone of her suspicions but letting Jack know that she doesn't believe him. Jack answers seriously. JACK : Why would she ? She lost touch with him after the war. I just happened to catch up with her later. GWEN : Oh. She still doesn't really believe him. POV MARA : Watching them from the trees. They walk into a clearing, seeing a ring of stones. Jack continually scanning with his wrist cuff. JACK : The stones in those photographs. OWEN : You know this whole area was forest in primeval times. Most of the development areas have been built on lay lines. GWEN : Anyone could've made this circle. JACK : Why do you keep doubting me ? I spell out the dangers, you keep looking for explanations. GWEN : That's what police work's all about. JACK : This isn't police work. GWEN : Alright then, science. JACK : And it's not science. GWEN : I know you told me, it's that corner of the eye stuff. She looks round shaking her head, then hears a noise. POV MARA : Jumping through the trees. Owen looks in the same direction as Gwen, then returns to taking samples, dismissing the noise. ARIEL CARDIFF INT. POLICE STATION - CUSTODY BLOCK Goodson lies on a narrow bed in his police station cell. He lies on his side facing camera, trying to sleep. Track in on Goodson as he hears a noise, opens his eyes and looks towards the ceiling. A shadow crosses the tiles, he screams and a Mara jumps from the roof on top of him. [SCENE_BREAK] Custody Sergeant and WPC are at the desk. They look towards the cells when they hear a scream. The custody sergeant sighs - nothing really unusual, just an irritant. He gets his keys and walks towards the cells. The WPC follows him as he unlocks the barred entrance door and they walk to the end of the narrow corridor. CUSTODY SGT : Alright. INT. JASMINE'S HOUSE - STAIRWELL - DAY Lynne, about to carry 2 mugs into another room for herself and Roy pauses at the foot of the stairs as she hears Jasmine talking and laughing. She looks up, puts the mugs on a step and goes up the stairs cautiously. She listens at the door for a moment before opening it. A shadow leaves through the window and Jasmine lies back in bed as if nothing was happening. LYNNE : Heard you laughing Jas. She enters the room and sits on the bed next to Jasmine. LYNNE : Seemed like you were talking to someone. Jasmine shakes her head no. LYNNE : Just talking to yourself, were you ? Jasmine does not respond and Lynne reaches forward to stoke her hair. A mother concerned for her daughter. LYNNE : Lovely to hear you laugh. Lynne looks at Jasmine concerned, uncertain what to say. Jasmine looks away. INT. POLICE STATION - CUSTODY BLOCK. The Custody Sergeant walks down the cell block to the cell talking. Jack follows behind with Gwen. CUSTODY SGT : I thought I'd seen everything in this game until now. I mean we had 'im locked up for Christ's sake on his own. He starts to unlock the door then stops and turns to Jack. CUSTODY SGT : He was shouting the odds when he was bought in, said things were following 'im. JACK : What kind of things ? CUSTODY SGT : Well shadows he said, and he was goin' on about being choked. Toshiko enters and walks up to them. TOSHIKO : There were 4 other prisoners who saw nothing. GWEN : Where are they now. TOSHIKO : Had them transferred. JACK : CCTV ? TOSHIKO : I'm dealing with that. The custody sergeant unlocks the door and they follow him down the corridor to the cell. CUSTODY SGT : At first I thought he was a drunk or a nutcase or both. JACK : Right I want this place locked off. The custody sergeant opens the cell door and holds it back for them. Jack stands leaning on the doorframe. The body lies in the middle of the cell floor. JACK : Name. TOSHIKO : Mark Goodson, worked in town, business consultant. Toshiko and Gwen pass Jack and enter the cell. Toshiko looks at the body while Gwen looks around the cell. JACK : Cause of death ? TOSHIKO : Well, going by the pinpoint haemorrhages on the eyelids and around the hairline, I'd say oxygen deficiency. But it's odd, there's no fingertip bruising on the face, no areas of pallor. GWEN : Nothing to suggest that pressure was applied. Gwen stoops down to look at the body. GWEN : He suffocated alone in a locked cell. TOSHIKO : Looks like it. Gwen leans forward to check inside Goodson's mouth and throat. GWEN : Wait a minute. She reaches for some tweezers on a nearby tray and pulls a flower petal from Goodson's throat. Toshiko gasps slightly in surprise, Jack concerned, recognises the petal. The same as the one he has. Gwen continues pulling out petals then holds one up. TOSHIKO : Never seen anything like that before. JACK : I have. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ESTELLE'S HOUSE - NIGHT Estelle sits before a low table in her living room. Candles and crystals / stones are arranged on the table. She selects a large, shaped opaque white stone and holds it in both hands. ESTELLE : Quartzite, a searching stone. She holds the stone up and closes her eyes. ESTELLE : Oh, let the energies flow. Help me find them again. A trail of white smoke appears briefly, just entering side of shot, accompanied by a noise. Estelle gasps and looks round. She hears brittle wings fly past outside. Nervous she slowly walks to her kitchen peering through the window. She hears laughter then sees a section of a Mara's face hiding in a bush. She steps back as the Mara flies towards her, breaking the glass. INT. THE HUB - BOARD ROOM Screen shows CCTV of Goodson lying in his cell, Jack stands to one side, briefing Gwen and Toshiko. JACK : You know the dead man was a convicted paedophile, he used to hang around schools. GWEN : But why the petals in his mouth ? JACK : Just a bit of fun on their part. GWEN : You call that fun ? JACK : That's the way these creatures like to do things. They play games. They torment, they kill. GWEN : Why ? JACK : As a punishment, or a warning to others. They protect their own. The chosen ones. Somehow children and the spirit world, they go together. TOSHIKO : So how do we stop them ? JACK : First we have to find out who they want. And we can't track them. They have control of the elements, fire, water, the air that we breathe. They can drag that air right out of our bodies. Sometimes I think they're part Mara. TOSHIKO : Mara ? JACK : Kind of malignant wraiths. It's where the word nightmare came from. They used to kill people in their sleep. A phone rings and Jack leans over, puts on the intercom. INTERCUT WITH : Estelle on the telephone in her house. ESTELLE: Jack, it's me, Estelle. JACK : What is it ? ESTELLE : You were right Jack. There are bad ones, they've come to me. JACK : Estelle we're on our way, stay where you are, don't go anywhere near them, do you understand ? ESTELLE : Yes. Jack hangs up the phone and runs from the room. Estelle hangs up and then walks cautiously through her house. Afraid. She hears Moses mew and goes to find him. ESTELLE : Moses ! Silly cat ! The cat continues mewing loudly. Estelle opens the glass door to her garden and peers through the gap. ESTELLE : Come on Moses. Come on darling. Moses ! The cat does not come and Estelle opens the door wider, looks then cautiously steps through, not wanting to go outside by scared for her pet - her companion. She calls for the cat, increasingly desperate. ESTELLE : Moses, come on ! Come here darling. Come on puss. Moses ! Moses. A gust of wind slams the door, locking her outside. Estelle, terrified, shakes the door trying desperately to open it but it has locked. It begins to rain heavily and Mara can be heard, surrounding Estelle. ESTELLE : Oh no. Oh ! Estelle holds up her arms and looks around for shelter but there is none. [SCENE_BREAK] SUV travelling at speed down a main road. INT. TORCHWOOD SUV. Owen and Toshiko sit in the back of the vehicle, Toshiko looking at a map of South Wales on her screen. Jack and Gwen are in the front seats. TOSHIKO : It makes no sense. She zooms in on the Cardiff area and checks the weather scan. TOSHIKO : It's a fine night yet the weather map says there's rain. She zooms in the map further, Plymouth Road. An area of severe rain can clearly be seen over one house. EXT. ESTELLE'S GARDEN POV MARA. Estelle stands in her garden, hands held up in a futile attempt to protect herself, the rain pummelling her she falls to the floor onto her back while the Mara laugh. She is unable to cry out loudly, slowly drowning. EXT. ESTELLE'S HOUSE. The SUV pulls up outside and Jack exits the vehicle, runs towards the house, closely followed by the others. Jack calls out as he runs to the door. JACK : Estelle ! Estelle ! He knocks on the door loudly and when there is no rapid answer he runs to the back of the house. Estelle lies on the floor, dead. Jack allows Owen to pass and try to help her. Owen checks for breath but it is too late. OWEN : Looks like she died from drowning. Rest of the garden's dry as a bone. He stands and Jack passes, he crouches next to Estelle and carefully closes her eyes with the palm of his hand then gathers her body into his arms, across his lap, holding her close he begins to cry. The others move away and Gwen crouches near, speaking softly. GWEN : It wasn't your dad that was in love with her all those years ago was it ? It was you. JACK : We once made a vow, that we'd be with each other till we died. Gwen stands, watching Jack. He allows himself a few silent tears then kisses Estelle softly on the forehead and rests her carefully on the ground. He stands next to Gwen for a moment, gathering himself. JACK : I need a drink. ARIEL CARDIFF INT. THE HUB - JACK'S OFFICE Jack and Gwen sit in Jack's office. GWEN : Where did you and Estelle meet ? JACK : In London, at the Astoria Ballroom, a few weeks before Christmas. She was 17 years old and she was beautiful. I loved her at first sight. Nothing lasted back then. Promises were always being broken. Estelle... to have to die like that. Jack downs his glass of whiskey, upset. Gwen tries to change the subject. GWEN : Those petals in Goodson's mouth, where had you seen that before, was that during the war ? JACK : No, long before then, on a troop train. FLASHBACK - LAHORE 1909. Uniformed soldiers play cards, laugh and joke crowded into an open train carriage travelling along a track. Jack sits a little way off - a commanding officer watching over them. JACK : (VO) 15 men, with me in charge. Everyone happy. Too happy. Too noisy. The train enters a tunnel, dark. JACK : Then we hit a tunnel. In the darkness the sound of wings. JACK : (VO) We thought some birds had flown in though an open window. Then came the silence. As the train leaves the tunnel and daylight flows back through the slatted sides it can be seen that the soldiers are all slumped, dead. Jack looks around. JACK : (VO) Then when we came out of the tunnel, all 15 men were dead. The train lurches over the track and one of the soldier's heads falls forwards, flower petals falling from his mouth. JACK : They'd been suffocated. My squad. Men I was responsible for. GWEN : But why were the men killed ? Jack takes another drink before continuing. JACK : About a week earlier some of them had got drunk, drove a truck through a village, ran over a child, killed her. That child was a chosen one. INT. JASMINE'S BEDROOM Jasmine lies in bed, she leans on her elbow as toy rocking horses on a shelf begin to move. Her window is open, a breeze coming through. Wings sound and Jasmine smiles. [SCENE_BREAK] Lynne downstairs, goes to lock the front door for the night and turns out the lights. As she does so a dog barks outside and she opens the backdoor to look. She hears the sound of Jasmine laughing through her open window. POV MARA. They fly from the window down towards Lynne. She goes inside quickly and closes the door. The Mara chatter on the other side as she locks it. Lynne is nervous, wondering at the noise. INT. GWEN'S HOUSE Gwen enters the house followed by Rhys. Rhys talks to her as she walks up the stairs. RHYS : ... 3 hours, wouldn't say a word, just sat their glowering cos she thought I'd nicked 'er special stapler. GWEN : Don't worry about it. RHYS : You alright ? GWEN : No, I've 'ad a bit of a weird day actually. Gwen turns on the light to the living room. Furniture is strewn across the carpet, a mess like after a burglary. RHYS : Bloody hell ! What the hell's gone on 'ere ? Rhys walks away to look around. Gwen pauses looking down. A circle of bark and red petals encompasses a circle of 6 stones, an area of clear floor in the centre. A warning from the Mara. RHYS : How's they get in ? they've smashed everythin' in the bastards ! EXT. JASMINE'S HOUSE - MORNING Jasmine happily leaves the house and walks towards the can, past Lynne who is putting up balloons in the front garden. LYNNE : I'll fetch you straight home from school this afternoon Jas, you don't wanna miss our party do ya ? JASMINE : I'd rather play down the garden. Jasmine walks away to the car. LYNNE : You're right, she's spending too much time down there. ROY : Don't worry. I'm gonna put a stop to things. Roy walks towards the car and Lynne goes back into the house. Jasmine waits by the front passenger door. Roy talks to her as he opens the driver's door. ROY : So what are you gonna do when they start building at the bottom of the garden ? It'll happen one day. Jasmine looks upset at the suggestion then smiles, looking to the side. ROY : Don't you ever wanna have a conversation with me ? POV MARA. They look down at Jasmine and Roy from the trees across the road. Watching over her. ROY : No wonder your dad left when you were a baby. Must have seen what was coming. Roy gets in the car. Jasmine smiles and waves at the Mara in the tress then enters the car. Roy looks in the rear view mirror. ROY : Who you waving at ? JASMINE : Just friends. ROY : You don't have friends. POV MARA. They follow the car as it drives away. EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND Jasmine walks towards the school entrance, other children are present but do not speak to her. 2 girls approach Jasmine from behind, singing a cruel song, as they get close they move to either side of her, take her arms and push her to the floor. They continue walking. The teacher looks over and hurries to Jasmine. KATE : Jasmine, did someone push you Jasmine ? JASMINE : Yes miss. KATE : Who ? JASMINE : Don't know miss. INT. GWEN'S LIVING ROOM. Jack watches Gwen clearing up the mess left by the Mara. GWEN : In the whole of my working life I have never had to bring the bad times home with me. I have never had to feel threatened in my own home. But not anymore because this means these creatures can invade my life whenever they fell like it and I am scarred Jack. Jack wanders around, looking at Gwen's things, only looking at her when she admits fear. GWEN : What chance did Estelle have ? What chance do any of us have ? Jack does not answer, only shakes his head, not knowing the answer. GWEN : You said these creatures protect their own. JACK : Yeah. GWEN : You mentioned the chosen ones. What are they ? How many are there ? Jack does not answer and Gwen shouts, frustrated and afraid. GWEN : Tell me Jack ! JACK : All these so called fairies were children once. From different moments in time, going back millennia. Part of the lost lands. GWEN : Lost lands. What ? ! JACK : The lands that belong to them. Gwen struggles to remain calm, not to shout at Jack and demand clear answers. GWEN : What exactly do they want ? Why are they here ? JACK : They want what's there's. The next chosen one. EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND Jasmine sits alone on a wooden fence near a tree, looking up into the trees. Other children run about playing and the 2 bullies stand a little distance away talking. They keep looking in Jasmine's directions, planning their next torment. They then walk towards Jasmine. BULLY 1 : Hey you ! Did you tell on us ? JASMINE : No. BULLY 2: Yes you did. BULLY 1: Yeah, well maybe you need a good kickin'. They pull Jasmine from the fence and start to drag her away. POV MARA. Looking down on the scene. The bullies push Jasmine to the floor and start to kick her. There is a sound of wings and a breeze starts. Jasmine looks to the trees smiling. INT. THE HUB - BOARDROOM JACK : I wanna check on all unexplained deaths in the area. Toshiko works on a computer at the table. Ianto near to her looks at the large screen which currently shows a weather map. TOSHIKO : What's the weather forecast for today ? Ianto looks at the map then turns to Toshiko, concerned. IANTO : Long sunny spells. TOSHIKO : It's happening again. She zooms in and shows a scan of Coed Y Garreg Primary School, the map showing a severe gale directly over the school. EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND The bullies cling to each other being buffeted by the wind. The other children scream. Jasmine laughs at the bullies, the wind not touching her. The bullies are trapped by the gale next to a tree while the other children run away. INT. THE HUB - BOARD ROOM Toshiko still working at her laptop, trying to understand the weather readings. TOSHIKO : I don't understand it, it's going crazy. JACK : Just leave it, lets go. Jack leaves moves to leave the hub. EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND The bullies are buffeted by a gale of increasing strength. Kate runs through the crowds of children fleeing the area and tries to get to the bullies struggling against the wind, dodging a tree branch as it falls. She gets to the girls and wraps her arms protectively around them KATE : Hold on to me. She looks over towards Jasmine who remains standing smiling at the revenge being taken by the Mara on her behalf. EXT. JASMINE'S GARDEN Roy nails planks into a fence at the bottom of the garden to prevent Jasmine entering the wood. POV MARA. Flying towards him. EXT. SCHOOL - FRONT GATES The Torchwood SUV pulls up in the grounds. Children are being taken home by their parents as Torchwood walk towards the entrance. Gwen lagging behind sees the debris littering the playground and 2 people with bin bags clearing up. As she jogs towards them the Mara watch her. Gwen looks up and seeing them runs back towards the school building. INT. SCHOOL - CORRIDOR Owen, Tosh and Jack walk down the corridor with Kate who is wrapped in a blanket. KATE : I've never seen anything like it. It was so sudden then it just, it just ended. TOSHIKO : Kate, is it ? OWEN : Was anyone hurt ? KATE : No. Two children were almost scarred to death but they're okay. Gwen runs towards Jack who is walking behind the others. JACK : what is it ? Gwen whispers to him so Kate cannot hear. GWEN : I saw them. KATE : And there was little Jasmine in amongst it all. She hadn't been touched. The sun was shining down on 'er. It was like an aura. Something protecting 'er. JACK : Who is Jasmine ? KATE : Jasmine Pearce. She's a student of mine. JACK : Where is she now ? KATE : We're sending all the children home. We have to. JACK : Okay, thanks. Kate walks away. GWEN : The chosen one. JACK : Yeah. EXT. JASMINE'S GARDEN. Lynne and Roy's party is underway in the garden, Roy walks through greeting guests. INT. JASMINE'S KITCHEN Jasmine is putting food onto a plate, helping Lynne. LYNNE : Musta been scary at school today. JASMINE : It was fine. LYNNE : Roy said you seen some of your friends this mornin'. He said you waved at them. Only Roy said when he looked he couldn't see anyone. JASMINE : That's because they were in the trees. LYNNE : Trees ? What trees ? JASMINE : The trees along the road. LYNNE : Is this one of your games Jas ? JASMINE : No. EXT. JASMINE'S GARDEN Roy drinks beer and puts food onto a barbeque. Happy. INT. JASMINE'S KITCHEN LYNNE : So, who are they ? JASMINE : Just friends. LYNNE : You should invite them to the party. JASMINE : They don't like parties. LYNNE : I'm not surprised if they live in trees. JASMINE : Oh, they don't all live in trees. They can be anywhere and everywhere. They can even be in this room. LYNNE : In this room ? When ? JASMINE : Now. LYNNE : Don't be silly Jas. Where did you meet these friends ? Musta met them somewhere. JASMINE : They said they'd always look after me, even through time. LYNNE : Why did they say that ? JASMINE : I forget. Lynne looks concerned at Jasmine but says nothing else, instead taking a bowl of salad outside. Jasmine follows her. EXT. JASMINE'S GARDEN Roy talks to one of the guests. ROY : Oh yeah, got big plans for this place. Gonna extend the patio, landscape this garden. He looks over and sees Jasmine with a plate of food, going to the table. ROY : Cummon Jas, hurry up with that food, people're hungry. Lynne comes over and Roy puts an arm around her shoulders. GUEST : So, when you gonna name yer date Roy ? ROY : Ooh, never. Can't afford to keep her. Jasmine walks past them, further into the garden and sees the newly erected fence at the bottom. Dismayed she runs to it, watched by Roy. She grabs at the planks trying to move the fence. JASMINE : No ! No, please no ! Roy walks around the hedge partially concealing the fence. ROY : Jas, get away. JASMINE : You can't do this, it's my own place. It's mine. Roy grabs her arm to pull her from the fence. ROY : I said get away. Jasmine kicks Roy savagely in the shin and bites his arm hard. Roy slaps her round the face in response ROY : You little bitch ! Thunder rumbles loudly and the previously sunny sky begins to darken a little, but not enough for people to begin moving inside the house. Roy walks back round the hedge into the garden and stands next to Lynne. LYNNE : (Indicating the sky) That's all we need. ROY : Just a bit of bad weather, it'll pass. A strong breeze starts. EXT. A STREET The SUV speeds down Old Forrest Road towards Jasmine's house. EXT. JASMINE'S GARDEN Roy is talking and laughing with guests, Lynne enters the garden from the house. LYNNE : (To Roy) Where's Jas ? ROY : Oh I, she's around. He leans in and kisses her, then walks a little distance away to make a speech. ROY : Now, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please ? As you all know, today is a very special day. Lynne and me have been together now for the past 5 years and not only is she my partner, but she has also been my rock and my best friend, and now we're looking forward to having children of our own. A sudden gust of wind starts and as Lynne and the other guest look up they see Mara perched in the trees high above them. LYNNE : Oh my God ! Lynne and the other guests start screaming. Mara jump down from the trees into the garden behind Roy. One Mara leaps towards the other guests herding them back into the house. The Mara are tall and emaciated with elongated limbs. Small wings flutter on their backs. They move like grasshoppers, bounding across the ground. The guests scramble over each other trying to escape while Jasmine looks on smiling. Jack, Gwen, Owen and Toshiko enter the garden from the side of the house and try to direct the guests out of the way. JACK : Come on move. Go, go. Get out ! A single Mara attacks Roy, swiping at him. LYNNE : Roy ! Another Mara smashes through the fence blocking the wood from the garden and chitters. The Mara attacking Roy pushes him to his back and jumps to crouch on his chest. The Mara puts a hand over Roy's face, positioning itself and then leaning back plunges it's hand and arm into Roy's mouth and down his throat, almost up to it's shoulder. Jasmine laughs, enjoying the sight. Another Mara leaps towards Jack and Gwen. It puts a hand around Jack's neck and clings to his side to gain leverage. GWEN : No ! She shoves Jack to the side, knocking the Mara from him. Jack grunts in pain as he hits the floor. The Mara attacking Roy withdraws it's arm - Roy is dead. The Mara chitters to the other creature. They fly away together, their purpose dealt with. Jasmine takes a last look at her mother and goes through the hole in the fence, into the woods. Jack and the others look around, wondering at the sudden disappearance of the Mara. Lynne looks at Roy, dead on the floor and pulls away from Toshiko who has been holding her back. She kneels next to Roy crying, confused and shocked. Jack and Gwen leave quickly and follow Jasmine into the woods. Owen remains briefly next to Lynne, wanting to help but unable to. Jack and Gwen approach Jasmine and she speaks to them without turning round. Sincere. JASMINE : Do you know you're walking in a forest ? She turns to look at them. JASMINE : Well you are. It looks like a very old forest, and it's magical. I want to stay in it. JACK : You can see this forest ? JASMINE : Yes. JACK : But it's not here. It's just an illusion Jasmine. It is. Jasmine shakes her head at Jack. JACK : Your friends are just playing a game with you. Jack's voice gets louder and he looks into the trees, addressing the Mara as much as Jasmine. JACK : The real forest can never come back. JASMINE : Oh it can, when they take me to it. Gwen leans down to speak directly to Jasmine, looking upwards as she does so. Cautious of the Mara. GWEN : They told you this ? Jasmine nods. GWEN : But what about your mother ? Don't you want to stay with her ? Jasmine shakes her head and Gwen jumps back as the Mara move about in the trees above. Jack takes her place, speaking to the Mara. JACK : The child isn't sure JASMINE : I am sure. Jack grabs Jasmine, an arm around her chest pulling her close. She looks up at the Mara. JACK : Leave her alone. Find another chosen one. MARA : Too late. She belongs with us. JACK : The child belongs here ! MARA : Never. She lives forever. Lynne walks to the bottom of the garden, but is quickly pulled back by Toshiko and Owen. LYNNE : Jas ! Where's Jas ? TOSHIKO : Wait. Lynne tries to struggle away from them, suddenly afraid for her child's wellbeing. LYNNE : No. Let go. My daughter ! JACK : Suppose we make her stay with us... JASMINE : Then lots more people will die. GWEN : they tell you that ? JASMINE : They promised. MARA : Come away, oh human child. Jasmine starts struggling against Jack's hold, but he holds he shoulders easily. The Mara move closer to them. JASMINE : Next time I'll kill everyone at my school like I killed Roy, and that man, and your friend. GWEN : How do you know these things ? JASMINE : If they want to they can make great storms, wild seas, turn the world to ice. Kill every thing. Let me go. JACK : The child won't be harmed ? GWEN : Jack you can't ! JACK : Answer me ! She won't be harmed. MARA : Told you, she lives forever. JASMINE : Dead world, is that what you want ? Jack crouches down and speaks directly to Jasmine, a last attempt to stop the Mara taking Jasmine. JACK : What good is that to you ? There will be no more chosen ones. JASMINE : (With the Mara's voice) They'll find us, back in time. Jack strokes the child's face, staring to cry, he knows he cannot save Jasmine. She does not want to be saved. He lets her go and Jasmine walks towards the Mara. JACK : Take her. The Mara fly down from the trees, they now appear as small glittering fairies. Gwen tries to run past Jack but he grabs her arm to stop her. GWEN : Jack, no ! JACK : You asked me what chance we have against them for the sake of the world this is our only chance. Jasmine walks away through the wood, sunlight passing through the trees. She turns and looks at Jack, smiling. JASMINE : (With Mara's voice) Thank you. Jack watches Jasmine skip away, the fairies chasing her. Lynne runs towards them, followed by Owen and Toshiko and she sees Jasmine leaving. LYNNE : Jas ! As she watches Jasmine disappears. LYNNE : Jas ! Lynne runs a short way into the trees, calling after Jasmine, then turns and sees Jack. Blaming him she throws herself at him flailing her fists that Jack holds back, she screams at him incoherently as grief takes hold she collapses to the floor, screams becoming wails of pain as Jack holds her. JACK : I am so sorry. EXT. FRONT OF JASMINE'S HOUSE. They walk away from the house to the SUV. Jack turns to the others and they stride past, angry at his actions. JACK : What else could I do ? INT. THE HUB - BOARD ROOM Pictures of fairies litter the desk. Gwen gathers them in silence. Behind her a picture appears on the screen, she turns to look and zooms in on the face of one of the fairies. It is Jasmine. GUEST CAST : Estelle Cole - Eve Pearce / Jasmine Pearce (and fairy voices, uncredited) - Lara Philliart / Lynne - Adrienne O'Sullivan / Roy - William Travis / Goodson - Roger Barclay / Kate - Heledd Baskerville / WPC - Ffion Wilkins / Custody Sergeant - Nathan Sussex / Man in street - Paul Jones / Bullies - Sophie Davies and Victoria Gourlay.	Plan: A: her suppressed anger; Q: What does a withdrawn child have taken advantage of by fairies at the bottom of her garden? A: Jack; Q: Who has seen the creatures causing the weather patterns? A: a very old friend; Q: Who does Jack meet who is investigating fairy sightings in the local wood? A: Torchwood; Q: Who is informed of a man's mysterious death in a prison cell? A: Tosh; Q: Who uncovers a series of localized, extreme weather patterns? A: the creatures; Q: What has Jack seen that may be connected to the weather patterns? Summary: A withdrawn child has her suppressed anger taken advantage of by fairies at the bottom of her garden. Jack catches up with a very old friend who is investigating fairy sightings in the local wood. After having visited her, Torchwood is informed of a man's mysterious death in a prison cell, and Tosh uncovers a series of localized, extreme weather patterns. Nobody at the organization is sure of these events, or how they may be connected. Except for Jack, who has witnessed the creatures causing this, almost a century ago.
Scene: A barber's shop. Leonard: I'm just gonna run to the store and get a few things. I'll pick you up when you're done. Sheldon: Okay. I like it a little better when you stay, but all right. Barber: Hey, Sheldon. Sheldon: Hello. I'm here for my haircut with Mr. D'Onofrio. Barber: I'm sorry, Uncle Tony's in the hospital. He's pretty sick. Sheldon: Oh, dear, Mr. D'Onofrio's in the hospital. Why do these things always happen to me? Barber: I can cut it for you. Sheldon: You're not Mr. D'Onofrio. I get my hair cut by Mr. D'Onofrio. You believe this guy? Leonard: Excuse us for a second. Sheldon, it's okay, he can do it. He's a barber. Sheldon: He's not a barber, he's the nephew. He's an example of the kind of nepotism that runs rampant in the barbering industry. Besides, Mr. D'Onofrio knows exactly how I like my hair done because he has all my haircut records from my barber in Texas. Leonard: What are you talking about? Sheldon: When I first moved here I was nervous about finding a new barber, so my mother had all my haircut records sent here to Mr. D'Onofrio. Leonard: There's no such thing as haircut records. Sheldon: Yes, there are. Leonard: Have you ever seen them? Sheldon: No, but my mother assured me they were sent here, and I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that this one doesn't have them. Uh, excuse me. Do you have access to my haircut records? Barber: Your what? Sheldon: To paraphrase T.S. Eliot, this is the way the world ends, not with a bang but with a nephew. Leonard: Sheldon, you're a grown man, he's a professional, and your haircut is number three on that poster from 1946. Just sit down and let him do it. Sheldon: Fine, but if I come out of this looking like a dork, it's on you. (Sits) Barber: So my kid said the funniest thing today. Sheldon: Nope. (Runs out) Leonard: When you tell this story later, the word we usually use is quirky. Credits sequence. Scene: The apartment. Sheldon: Can you pass the Parmesan cheese? Leonard: Sure. What are you doing? Sheldon: I'm trying to get the hair out of my eyes. Leonard: Sheldon, you are one day late for your haircut. Sheldon: Thank you for captioning my nightmare. Howard: Lookie here, I got my travel orders. Raj: Payload Specialist Howard Wolowitz is requested to report to the NASA Johnson Space Center, Houston, Texas, for astronaut training Monday eight a.m. Howard: Yeah, but it's from NASA, so it's oh eight hundred. Raj: But it says eight a.m. Howard: You read it as oh eight hundred. Raj: It doesn't have an oh in front of it. Howard: You know what does have an oh in front of it? Oh, my God, I'm an astronaut, and you're dying of jealousy. Leonard: So, what kind of things are they... (to Sheldon) will you stop that? Sheldon: I can't help it, I feel like a teen heartthrob. Penny: You know, Sheldon, I used to cut my brother's hair. I could do it for you. Sheldon: Penny, I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but, um, here in town we don't churn our own butter, we don't, uh, make dresses out of gunny sacks, and, uh, we sure as shootin' don't get our hair cut by bottle-blonde... Leonard: Sheldon, be nice. Sheldon: I'm sorry, it's the bad boy attitude that comes with this hair. Raj: You could go to my guy. He's at Juan-Juan in Beverly Hills. They bring you a cup of tea, they'll massage your scalp. It's about two hundred dollars, but sometimes you look in the next chair and you see a superstar like Tony Danza. Howard: Quick question here, have we actually changed the conversation from I'm going to astronaut training to Sheldon can't get a haircut? Raj: Now who's dying of jealousy? Oh, it's you. Scene: Amy's apartment. Amy is playing her harp. Amy: I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted... I'm wanted... wanted, dead or alive. Sheldon, you're ruining girlfriend-boyfriend sing-along night. Sheldon: I'm sorry. I'm looking for a barber and I'm running out of time. My hair is growing at the rate of 4.6 yoctometers per femtosecond. I mean, if you're quiet, you can hear it. Amy: What about Supercuts? Sheldon: I tried once. They do men's and women's hair in the same room at the same time. It's like Sodom and Gomorrah with mousse. Amy: Well, this isn't a crisis. Why don't you just let your hair grow out a little? Sheldon: Why don't I let my hair grow out? Um, why don't I start wearing Birkenstocks and, uh, uh, seeking validation of my opinions by asking can you dig it? Amy: Well, I don't know. I think you might look sexy with long hair. The kind that flows down to your shoulders and blows back while riding on a horse, bareback and bare-chested. I'm gonna go brush my teeth, it might take a while. Scene: Bernadette's bedroom. Howard (on Skype): Hi. Bernadette: Hi, sweetie. Howard: I miss you. Bernadette: I miss you, too. So tell me all about your first day. Howard: Oh, wow, where do I even start? I got to experience zero gravity. Bernadette: Cool. How do they do that? Howard: It's pretty neat. You get in this plane that goes almost straight up for, like, 20 seconds, and then straight back down like it's going to crash, and they do it over and over again, you know, no matter how many times you throw up. Bernadette: You threw up? Howard: Yeah, and the craziest part is, because there's no gravity, the throw-up kind of floats there, in a little ball, and if your mouth is open because you're screaming, sometimes it just floats right back in. Boy, does everyone laugh at you when that happens. Bernadette: That sounds mean. Howard: No. Yeah, I would have laughed, too, but I didn't want the vomit to come back out. Anyway, oh, could you do me a favour and overnight me some more underwear? Bernadette: Sure, why? Howard: I got a look at the centrifuge they're going to spin me around in tomorrow, and I have a hunch I packed a little light. Scene: A hospital ward. Sheldon: Mr. D'Onofrio? It's Sheldon. They didn't have anything barber-themed in the gift shop, so I got you this. I don't know if you can read his little T-shirt. It says, um, get well bear-y soon. Trust me, if you were even a little conscious right now, you'd be laughing. Anyway, there's new studies that show, people in comas are aware of everything going on around them. With that in mind, if you can hear me, move away from the light and toward the sound of these scissors. Nurse: Can I help you? Sheldon: Yes. Do you have something I could use as a cape? Nurse: Oh, dear, did we spit out our pills, slip out of the ninth floor, and go on a little adventure? Sheldon: Oh, no, no, I'm just here to get my hair cut. Nurse: I-I see. J-Jus-Just wait here one moment. Security! Sheldon: I got to run. But not with scissors, that would be unsafe. Scene: The apartment. Penny: So, if I move my horsey here, isn't that checkmate and I win? Leonard: Hmm. Penny: Well, is it or isn't it? Leonard: You know, I think this is a good stopping point. Uh, it's your first real game. I threw a lot of information at you. Penny: Well, no, I mean, your king is trapped. He can't go here because of my lighthouse, and he can't go here because of my pointy-head guy. Leonard: Like I said, complicated game. Penny: So did I win or not? Leonard: Did you have fun? Because if you had fun, then you are, you are a winner. Now that's, that-that's what chess is all about. Sheldon: Hello. Leonard: Hey. Penny: Oh, hey. Sorry, Sheldon, I'll move. Sheldon: Eh, why? My spot, your spot, what difference does it make? Penny: Okay, what just happened? Leonard: I don't know. Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer and Sheldon being okay with you in his spot, I'm guessing someone went back in time, stepped on a bug, and changed the course of human events. Penny: Uh, sweetie, are you all right? Sheldon: No, I'm not all right. It's been six days since I was supposed to get a haircut and nothing horrible has happened. Penny: Okay, I'm sorry, I don't understand. Sheldon: Leonard, explain it to her. Leonard: Oh, uh, he's crazy. Sheldon: I have spent my whole life trying to bring order to the universe by carefully planning every moment of every day. But all my efforts, our dinner schedule, my pyjama rotation, my bowel movement spreadsheet, it's clear now, I've been wasting my time. Leonard: Good. I'm taking that disgusting chart off the fridge. Penny: You know, Sh-Sheldon, sometimes it's nice not knowing what's coming. I mean, look at me and Leonard. We went out, we broke up, now we're trying again. We don't know what's gonna happen. Sheldon: Oh, please, everyone knows what's going to happen. But I see your point. Leonard: I think this could be good for you. Maybe it's time for you to shake things up a bit. Sheldon: You're right. I should embrace the chaos. Leonard: Great. What are you going to do first? Sheldon: I don't know. I could do anything. All bets are off. The world is my oyster. I got it. I'm going to put on my Tuesday pyjamas tonight. Leonard: I got to tell you, I'm a little worried about him. Penny: If I were you, I'd be worried that a girl who's never played chess in her life just kicked your ass. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: Bernadette's bedroom. Howard (on Skype): Hi. Bernadette: Howie, what happened to you? Howard: We did overnight survival training in the wilderness. Big fun. Big, big fun. I was gonna freshen up for you but I blacked out a little on the way to the bathroom. Bernadette: Survival training? Is that like camping? Howard: Uh-huh. Except you don't have food or water, and they don't have a sunset Sabbath service like they do at Camp Hess-Kramer. Bernadette: Do you sleep in tents? Howard: No. I slept in a hole I dug in the ground with my bare hands. And at some point during the night, an armadillo crawled in and spooned me. Bernadette: Poor baby. Howard: But I did it. I survived. I wasn't sure I was going to when the sandstorm hit. I just pulled my turtleneck up over my head and waited for death. But somehow as I sat there, wrapped in a cocoon of my own neck-sweat, I found that primal part of the human spirit that just wants to keep on living, no matter what the cost. Bernadette: You're so brave. I'm proud of you. Howard: I ate a butterfly. It was so small and beautiful, but I was so hungry. Bernadette: Are you crying? Howard: No, I don't think it's possible. I'm severely dehydrated. My pee is like toothpaste. Bernadette: Howie, if you're not able to do this, come home. It won't change how I feel about you. Howard: Thanks, honey, but I can't quit. If I do, I'll just be a guy who had a chance to be an astronaut and gave it up. Bernadette: Well, is there anything I could do to help? Howard: No. Wait. Send more underwear. Scene: Leonard's bedroom. Leonard wakes to the sound of bongos. Leonard (going to living room): Don't let this be Sheldon playing bongos. Please don't let this be Sheldon playing bongos. Sheldon: Hello, Leonard, do you like my bongos? Bet you didn't know that I had bongos. Leonard: Sheldon, it's three o'clock in the morning. Sheldon: Three in the morning is a good time for bongos. Leonard: I was sleeping. Sheldon: Leonard sleeps while I play bongos. Leonard: No, he doesn't. Sheldon: Leonard no sleep while I play bongos. Bongo solo. Leonard: Stop! Stop it! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Penny (entering): What the hell?! Leonard: Oh, hi, Penny, guess what? Sheldon got bongos. Penny: Why did you get bongos? Sheldon: Richard Feynman played the bongos. I thought I'd give that a try. Leonard: Richard Feynman was a famous physicist. Penny: Oh, Leonard, it's three o'clock in the morning. I don't care if Richard Feynman was a purple leprechaun who lived in my butt. Sheldon: Penny meant if he were a purple leprechaun. Penny forgot to use the subjunctive. Leonard: Sheldon, go to bed. You have work in the morning. Sheldon: Maybe, maybe not. Maybe tomorrow I start a bongo band and tour the world. Leonard: W-w-wuh, no, no, hang on,uh, uh, roommate agreement. No hootenannies, sing-a-longs, or barbershop quartets after ten p.m. Sheldon: Roommate agreement? Are you kidding? We are living in a world of chaos. Roommate agreement. Penny: Where are you going? Sheldon: Wherever the music takes me, kitten. I play bongos walking down the stairs. (Sound of falling) Oh! Oh! Never play bongos walking down the stairs. Scene: Howard's hotel room. There is a knock on the door. Bernadette: Surprise. Howard: What are you doing here? Bernadette: I'm here to help you get through this. You can't do it on your own, you need someone to take care of you. Howard: Oh, I love you so much. Bernadette: Oh, I love you. Mrs Wolowitz (off): Howard, your bath is getting cold! Howard: Don't worry, once she falls asleep, I'll spoon you like an armadillo. Scene: Amy's apartment. Amy: He showed up in the middle of the night with his bongos. I foolishly thought it was some sort of musical booty call. Leonard: Poor guy. He must have been exhausted. Sheldon like to sleep while Leonard play the bongo! Amy: That was kind of uncalled for. Leonard: No, it was called for. Sheldon: What's going on? Penny: All right, Sheldon, this craziness has gone on long enough. Please come home so I can cut your hair. Sheldon: Penny, you're not trained. You're not licensed. Most importantly, you don't have access to my haircut records. Penny: All right, honey, look, we've known each other for a long time now, right? I've taken you to Disneyland, I kicked a bully in the nuts for you, I sing you Soft Kitty when you're sick, you've even saw me naked once. Leonard: I'm sorry, duh, what? Penny: It was a long story. Anyway, Sheldon, I promise I know what I'm doing. Please let me cut your hair. Sheldon: Amy, what do you think? Amy: There's not a hair on my body I wouldn't let this woman trim. Sheldon: Fine, let's go. Thank you for letting me sleep on your couch. Amy: There's only so many times a woman can say how about the bed? Leonard: What's this about Sheldon seeing you naked? Sheldon: Oh, relax. It was just her bottom and her breasts. Scene: Penny's apartment. Penny is cutting Sheldon's hair. Penny: Almost done. Sheldon: At the end of the haircut, Mr. D'Onofrio would tell me a dirty joke. Penny: Well, sorry, I don't know any dirty jokes. Sheldon: That's okay, I never understood them anyway. Penny: Okay, what do you think? Sheldon: Hmm, well, it's a little Hollywood. But I think I can pull it off. Well done, Penny. Penny: Ha, told you. Okay, I'm just gonna clean up your neck a little and then you are good to go. Sheldon: Fun time. Hah. Sorry, sometimes the clippers tickle me. Penny: Okay. (Sheldon laughs and jerks, Penny accidentally shaves a strip up the back of his head) Okay, yep, we're all done now. It's just, it's good. Let me just take that away from you. Okay. Sgeldon: Thank you very much. Penny: You are welcome. Yeah, I'm gonna have to move.	Plan: A: Sheldon; Q: Who is impressed with Penny's haircut? A: Mr. D'Onofrio; Q: Who is Sheldon's regular barber? A: a coma; Q: What is Mr. D'Onofrio in? A: Angelo; Q: Who is Mr. D'Onofrio's nephew? A: Penny; Q: Who offers to cut Sheldon's hair? A: her brother's hair; Q: What did Penny cut before Sheldon's hair? A: A week later; Q: How long after Penny's offer did Sheldon still not get his haircut? A: Penny's advice; Q: What prompted Sheldon to relax his regimented lifestyle? A: the chaos; Q: What does Penny tell Sheldon to embrace? A: Thursday night; Q: When does Sheldon wear his Tuesday pajamas? A: 3 am; Q: When does Sheldon start playing bongos? A: the apartment; Q: Where does Sheldon leave the bongos after Leonard and Penny ask him to stop? A: The next morning; Q: When did Leonard and Penny find Sheldon asleep on Amy's couch? A: Amy; Q: Who convinced Sheldon to let Penny cut his hair? A: confidence; Q: What does Amy's vote give to Sheldon? A: the back; Q: What part of Sheldon's head did Penny accidentally shave off? A: Howard; Q: Who is in Houston for astronaut training? A: his space mission; Q: What is Howard preparing for? A: Bernadette; Q: Who rushes to Houston to take care of Howard? A: vomiting; Q: What did Howard do during Zero-G training? A: Zero-G training; Q: What training did Howard vomit during? A: pity; Q: What emotion does Bernadette feel for Howard? A: his mother; Q: Who is taking care of Howard in Houston? Summary: Sheldon's regular barber Mr. D'Onofrio has been hospitalized in a coma and he refuses to get his hair cut from his nephew Angelo. Penny offers to cut Sheldon's hair as she used to cut her brother's hair, but he refuses. A week later, Sheldon has still not got his haircut and on Penny's advice, decides to relax his regimented lifestyle and "embrace the chaos". He begins to do things he never used to do before, like wearing his Tuesday pajamas on Thursday night and playing bongos at 3 am. This wakes Leonard and Penny, who plead with Sheldon to stop playing the bongos, to no avail, and he leaves the apartment still playing them. The next morning, they find him asleep on Amy's couch. With Amy's vote of confidence, Sheldon agrees to let Penny cut his hair. Sheldon is impressed with the way Penny had cut his hair, but when she is trimming his neck, she shaves off the back of his head accidentally. Meanwhile, Howard goes for astronaut training in Houston to prepare for his space mission. He confides to Bernadette via webcam his experiences in training, which involved vomiting during Zero-G training and having a horrible survival test. Bernadette feels pity for Howard and rushes to Houston, where she quickly finds out that his mother is already there to take care of him.
The Great Dragon: In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boy. His name ... Merlin. CASTLE OF CAMELOT, AT NIGHT, IN AN ANTI-ROOM Arthur gets ready for a ceremony, assisted by Merlin. He enters into the Throne Room and kneels. Merlin watches out the door ajar when Gwen comes. Gwen (about Arthur): What's he actually doing? Merlin (whispers): Thinking Gwen: About ...? Merlin : You! Gwen hits him gently. They shut the door. Merlin: He has to decide upon a quest. Gwen: And crouching on his knees all night's gonna help?! Merlin: Yes! He had to transcend his body so the quest is revealed to him as a vision. Gwen: And you're gonna stay and watched ...?! Merlin: Gwen! This is one of the most important days in a prince's life! BY MORNING, IN THE ANTI-ROOM Merlin is lying on the floor, snoring out loud. He is awakened by Uther and the Court. They all enter the room where Arthur spent the night. Uther (to Arthur): It is time ... What is the quest you have chosen? Arthur: I can see but one pass Sire. I had to enter the realm of the Fisher King and find the Golden Trident, spoken of in the legends of the Fallen Kings. Uther: You do understand that if you want to prove yourself worthy of the throne you must complete this task alone ... And unaided! Arthur: I do. *Opening Credits* GAIUS'S CHAMBERS Merlin and Gaius are around their lunch table. Merlin eats quickly. Gaius: You'll get hiccups... Merlin: Who is the Fisher King? Gaius: He was a sorcerer who lived many hundreds of years ago ... Merlin: And? Gaius: Legends has it he has been wounded in battle. The wound infested, and the infection spread not just through his body but through his lands as well. His mighty kingdom was reduced to a waste land and has remained that way until this very day. Merlin: I don't understand. Why is Uther so worried? Gaius: Some believe the Fisher King's still alive. Kept from death by his magic. Merlin: Do you? Gaius: Perhaps, perhaps not. But the people of the North call the area "The Perilous Lands". Few who have ever ventured there have lived to tell the tale. ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS Merlin is making the Prince's bed while Arthur works at his desk. Merlin (Hiccups): Hic! (To Arthur) I ate too quickly. Arthur looks annoyed then goes back to his papers. Merlin: Hic! Arthur: Merlin... Merlin: I can't help it. Arthur: I need to concentrate. Merlin finishes the bed quietly. Merlin (looking the bed with satisfaction): Hic! Arthur: I am trying to prepare for one of the most important moments in my life. (He goes back to his work) Merlin (pointing at the maps on Arthur's desk): All this maps ... none of them are the same. Arthur: Well done Merlin! Do you know why? Merlin: No. Arthur: Because hardly anyone's ever been there! Merlin: Couldn't you have chosen something a bit easier ...? Arthur: I'm meant to be proving my worth to the people. A quick trip to the lower town to a collect a bundle of herbs probably won't cut it. Merlin: But the Perilous Lands are ... perilous! Maybe I should come with you ... Arthur: What for?! Merlin: To ... Help out. Arthur: You ... really don't get it, do you? The task must be completed alone and unaided. That's the way it's been for a hundred of years, it's not about to change for you. Now, if you don't mind, I have some important preparations to do ... Merlin nodes and leaves the room. As he reaches the doors, he has a last hiccup. A MARKET IN THE LOWER TOWN Lady Morgana and Gwen are looking some fabrics. Suddenly an old woman grabs the Lady Morgana's wrist. Old woman: Please, please. Just spare me few minute of your time Sister. Morgana recognizes Morgause and follows her. Gwen (seeing Morgan's leaving): My Lady?! Morgana: It's alright Gwen, I won't be a moment. Morgana and Morgause hides behind a wall. Morgause: We must be quick sister, this enchantment will not hold for long. Tell me, what has Arthur chosen as his quest? Morgana: He sets out tomorrow for the Perilous Lands. Morgause: How perfect! She shows a bracelet with a golden stone. Morgause: Present this to the Prince as a token of your good wishes. When the time is right, you must make a likeness of the prince and bind to the gift using the skills that I taught you. When he does not returned, you, sister, will take your rightful place as sole heir to the throne of Camelot. (they split up) As Gwen is waiting, she sees the reflection of Morgause in a mirror. She turns and sees the old woman. Morgana comes back. Gwen (to Morgana): My Lady! Are you alright!? Morgana: Why wouldn't I be?! Gwen: I ... (looking around), I thought ... Morgana: Poor woman, she doesn't have a penny to feed her family. I felt duty bound to help her Gwen. Morgana continues her walk and Gwen stares at her, puzzled. CAMELOT, IN THE CORRIDORS Gwen waits next to Arthur's door when the prince gets out. Gwen (to Arthur): I know you have to go, but ... Arthur: I'll be careful. Gwen: For me. Arthur kisses her and leaves. IN THE COURTYARD Arthur is about go while Uther, Morgana and some people of the court are watching. The Prince makes a head gesture to present his respects before leaving. Morgana (to Uther): You look troubled Sire. Uther: He is sole heir to the throne, Morgana. Morgana: Don't worry. I'm certain a Pendragon will rule over Camelot for a long time to come! (She smiles, then looks at Uther with an icy glance) Arthur saddles on while Merlin hold the horse. The sorcerer smiles at his master when he feels magic. His eyes fall on the bracelet. Arthur: Beautiful, isn't it? It was a gift from Morgana. Merlin takes a suspicious look at the Lady Morgana before stared worryingly at his master's departure. GAIUS'S CHAMBERS Gaius and Merlin consult books. Gaius: Are you sure it wasn't a jewel? (He shows a picture to Merlin) Merlin: No. Brighter than that. Gaius: And you think it was enchanted. Merlin: There was magic there. I can feel it. Gaius: You're sure? (Merlin nodes) Merlin: And if it came for Morgana, it can only mean one thing. Arthur is in danger. A FOREST, BEYOND CAMELOT Arthur reaches a valley surrounded by mountains. He checks his maps then continues his journey. GAIUS'S CHAMBERS Gaius and Merlin are still checking books. Gaius: I don't know where else to look Merlin. Merlin: There has to be something! Gaius: We've examined every stone imaginable! ... Unless ... He grabs a book from the library. Gaius (shows a page): Merlin. Merlin: Gaius, that's it! Gaius: Then it's not a stone Merlin; it's an "Eye of the Phoenix"! Merlin: Phoenix? Gaius: Some call it the Firebird. Its eye burn with the fire that consumes the life force of anybody it comes in contact with. Merlin: Arthur...! Gaius: The eye will drown energy from him. If it's worn for too long, Arthur would die. Merlin: I have to go after him! Gaius: This is not a task to be undertaken lightly Merlin. You'll need help. COURTYARD Merlin left Camelot on horseback. AT NIGHT, THE LADY MORGANA'S CHAMBERS The Lady Morgana makes some kind of voodoo doll, and enlightens the "head". Meanwhile, in a forest Arthur laid on the ground, about to sleep. As Morgana magically enlightens a small fire in a box, back to the forest, the stone on Arthur's bracelet starts to shine. Gwen is about to enter into Morgana's chambers when she smells something strange. She opens the doors. Morgana (closing the box quickly): What is it now! Gwen: I just want to see if there is anything you needed. Morgana: No, get out! Gwen: Is something burning? Morgana: I said get out!! Gwen leaves the chambers, offended by her mistress behavior. THE FOREST WHERE ARTHUR SPENT THE NIGHT Arthur is asleep when two Mercenaries attack him. He wins the fight against them with some difficulties. A TAVERN Merlin enters a tavern where there is a fight. A man seems to be the struggle's main point. Merlin (to the man): Hello Gwaine! Gwaine: Ah! Merlin! How are you? A customer (to Gwaine): Give me my money. Merlin and Gwaine run to escape the unpleased customers. They hide behind a backer slack. Merlin takes an eye in the customers' direction. Merlin: Gwaine ... (seeing that the customers saw them) Run!! They ended up on a round path and take a break. Gwaine: Remind me again, what you're doing here? Merlin: Arthur is in trouble. I need your help. Gwaine: What kind of trouble? The customers (seeing them): There! Merlin and Gwaine leave running. Merlin: He's gone to the Perilous Lands. Gwaine : What? You serious? Merlin: Yeah! Gwaine: Just now (the armed customers are going to reach them) sounds pretty attractive! (Seeing horses few meters beneath their positions) Right, we go for the horses Merlin: You've got to be joking! Gwaine pushes Merlin and the warlock falls on a haystack. Gwaine jumps after Him. They take the horses and flee to the forest. IN ANOTHER FOREST Arthur keeps going to reach the realm of the Fisher king. He arrives at a bridge where a man stands. The bridge keeper: Who is it that whishes to cross my bridge? Arthur: A knight on a quest to find the trident of the Fisher king. The bridge keeper: Then you must be Courage! Arthur: No ... I'm Prince Arthur of Camelot. The Bridge Keeper: I'm Grettir. I have to say, you're not as short as I thought you'd be. Arthur is about to cross the bridge but Grettir stops him. Grettir: Before I let you pass, I'll give you a little advice. As courage, there two more things you need to complete your quest: Strength and Magic. Arthur: I don't condone the use of magic. Grettir: You'd be wise to not dismisses it so freely! The rules in the land you are headed to are quite different to those in the world that you know. Arthur: Thank you for your help. Grettir lets him pass. As Arthur pass next to him, the bridge keeper grabs his wrist Grettir: That's a very beautiful bracelet. Arthur: It's a gift from someone very dear to me. She hoped it would bring me good fortune. Grettir: Did she now. He lets Arthur go. Grettir: How very thoughtful of her! (He Laughs then disappears) MILES AWAY, IN THE FOREST Merlin and Gwaine ride side by side Merlin: Why were those men so angry? Gwaine: So is the way in Gambling. You make a man a fool, he calls you a thief ... How d'you find me? Merlin: It wasn't easy. I've been in almost every tavern in Engerd! Gwaine: So have I! (Both laugh) IN THE PERILOUS LANDS Arthur walks through a dead land where an orange sun is shining. The prince seems extremely tired as the Eye of the phoenix shines at his wrist. CAMELOT, MORGANA'S CHAMBERS Gwen brushes Morgana. Morgana: You're so good to me Gwen. Thank you. Gwen: It's nothing Morgana: You're upset with me. I know I shouted at you last night. I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up? Gwen: It's forgotten. Morgana: Why don't I give you some time off? Don't look at me like that; I'm sure I can look after myself for one night. Gwen: That's very kind of you my Lady. Morgana: I'm glad we're friends again. Gwen: Before I'll go, I'll make sure everything's ready for your return. Morgana: That's sweet. Don't stay too late. Morgana leaves letting Gwen alone. IN THE FOREST OF ENGERD Merlin and Gwaine are facing a new area. Gwaine: This is it. On the other side of the forest, lie the Perilous Lands. Merlin: it doesn't sound too friendly... Gwaine: That's because it's not... Believe me, it's wretched. Merlin: How do you know? You've never been there. Gwaine: I've traveled to many places, Merlin. Merlin: Not the Perilous Lands, I know that. Gwaine: Why? Merlin: They don't have any tavern. (Both laugh) Gwaine: I told you it's wretched. CAMELOT, IN MORGANA'S CHAMBERS Morgana enters into her room and makes sure Gwen has leave. Morgana: Gwen? As there's no answer, she takes her box in a closet. She enlightens it. Gwen watches the scene from behind a screen. THE PERILOUS LANDS Arthur walks in the desert, weaker as the eye of the phoenix is shining. He felt into what looks like some kind of shifting sands. He tries to go out but his forces are leaving him. IN THE FOREST Merlin and Gwaine reached the same bridge as Arthur has to. Gwaine gestured Merlin to stay where he stands but as soon as Gwaine left, Merlin went right to the bridge. Grettir (appearing from thin air): So ... Magic has arrived. Merlin: What? Grettir: There is nothing to be afraid of. Your presence is essential if Arthur is to succeed on his quest. Merlin: How do you know about Arthur? Who are you? Grettir: But the keeper of the bridge! Only whishes to see the Fisher King's land restored and prosperity reigned again. 'Till your mission is complete, this cannot happen. Merlin: It's not my mission, its Arthur's. Grettir: That's what you chose to believe. It's no accident that Arthur chose this path or you chose to follow. Gwaine shows up. Grettir: Ah! Finally! Strength has arrived! The trio is complete! Gwaine (Drawn his sword): Who is he? Grettir magically turns Gwaine's sword into flowers. Grettir: I mean no harm to either of you. Now thank you to mean no harm in return. Gwaine: Where is my sword ...? Grettir: Will return to you once you'll reach the other side. Gwaine crosses the bridge. Grettir (to Merlin): The Fisher King has waiting many years for this day. Do not deny what he wishes. Merlin nodes and follows Gwaine. Grettir: Remember, nothing is has it seems. THE PERILOUS LANDS With a huge effort, Arthur succeeds to reach the shore. He lay on the ground out of strength. ANOTHER PART OF THE PERILOUS LAND, AT NIGHT Gwaine and Merlin sit round a fire. Suddenly they heard a frightening scream. Merlin: What was that?! Gwaine: Pheasant ... Merlin: Pheasant? Gwaine (grabs his sword): Very big one. Merlin: ... You can turn back if you want. Gwaine: Hah! I'm not scared of pheasants! Merlin: I don't know ... Why did you wanna do this? Gwaine: Same reason has you. Help a friend. Merlin: Huh ... Arthur's lucky to have us! Gwaine: Not Arthur. Merlin: I'd do the same for you. Gwaine: Well, I hope so ... You're the only friend I've got. Merlin: I'm not surprised. Gwaine laughs when they heard another scream. Merlin: its sounds like three pheasants. Gwaine (firmly grabs his sword): At least. CAMELOT, GAIUS' CHAMBERS In the middle of the night Gwen knocks furiously on Gaius' door. The physician opens. Gwen: I'm sorry to wake you. Gaius: Don't be silly ... Gwen: I'm not sure how else I could talk to. Gaius: What is it child? Gwen: It's Morgana. Gaius: What's happened? Gwen: She - She had a box, and, her eyes; it was like they're on fire. What do I do Gaius? She's using magic! Gaius: Everything may not be has it seems, Gwen. Gwen: No, no, I know what I saw. I know Morgana for so long. I don't want to believe it but she ... isn't the person I knew. She's changed Gaius. I don't think she means well to any of us anymore. Gaius: I wish I could say otherwise, but I fear you're right. [SCENE_BREAK] IN THE PERILOUS LANDS Arthur continues his journey through the dead land, exhausted. He finally reaches the Fisher king's tower. As he approaches to it, he notices some creatures in the sky. As he starts to fight them, Merlin and Gwaine arrive in the ground where Arthur stands few moments later. Merlin: There it is. Gwaine: What's that in the sky? They're not birds. Merlin: I've never seen creatures like that. Gwaine: It's like they're hunting something ... Merlin (seeing something at the foot of the tower): What was that? Gwaine: a sword. Merlin: It's Arthur! They leave the field to reach Arthur's position. THE DARK TOWER Arthur is fighting against the creatures and succeeds to reach the gates and to enter the Tower. Few minutes later, Gwaine and Merlin come along. Gwaine (about the creatures): I should have known! Merlin: What are they? Gwaine: Wyverns. Distant cousins of the dragons. They're creatures of magic, so be careful. Inside the courtyard, Arthur is hunting down by wyverns. At the same time Gwaine and Merlin manage to enter. Merlin (hold the Iron Gate to let Gwaine pass): Quick quick quick! Merlin (When Gwaine reaches the other side): Let's split up. Meantime, Arthur locks himself up, trying to escape the wyverns. The creatures start to assault the door. In another room, Merlin looks for his master. He heard the creatures. Elsewhere in the tower, Gwaine is searching for Arthur as well. Gwaine: Arthur? (Hearing the creatures, he climbs the stairs) Arthur?! Out of strength, Arthur reaches the opposite side of the room and passed out. As two wyverns rip the doors off, Merlin bursts in. He speaks to the creatures in the Dragonlord language. Wyverns surrender and leave. Merlin gets back to Arthur and removes the bracelet. Arthur wakes up. Arthur (sees Merlin): What the hell are you doing here!? Merlin: Why can you never just say thanks? Arthur: Thanks?! What? For completely ruining the quest?! Merlin: Well, it was a god job I was here; otherwise you'd be wyvern fodder... by now! Arthur: How many times do I have to get it into your thick skull? I am supposed to be doing this alone! Suddenly a wyvern appears behind them. It's rapidly killed by Gwaine. Arthur: Great ... This is just gets better and better ... Gwen and Morgana are here too? We're gonna have a surprise party?! Gwaine: There're more wyverns on the way. We need to get out of here. Arthur: I'm not leaving without the trident. It was the all point of this quest. (He leaves, letting Merlin and Gwaine behind him) Merlin (to Arthur): Do you want us to help you? Or do you want to do this alone!? Arthur (From the stairs, shouting): Merlin! Merlin (whispers): Here we go Merlin and Gwaine follow Arthur. Merlin (to Arthur): Do you know where the trident is? Arthur: If I did, there wouldn't be a problem, would there? Merlin: Any clue you can give us? Arthur: This is a quest Merlin, not a treasure hunt! Merlin: Well, it's a sort of a... Arthur: Merlin!! They search the tower when they arrive on a flight with a door. Merlin: Look at this. Looks like a throne room. Arthur: If the trident's going to be anywhere ... Merlin makes a step and walks on a trap. Gwaine pushes him to avoid a closing door. The three of them are now split up, Merlin into the room, Arthur and Gwaine on the other side. Arthur (through the door): Merlin? Merlin! You're alright? Merlin (on the other side): Gwaine? Arthur?! Gwaine: It's got to be a way to open this. THE THRONE ROOM Hearing nothing from the other side, Merlin explores the room. A throne is in the middle. The Fisher King: So Emrys ... You are here at last. Merlin headed to the throne and sees an old man sitting in, covered by webs. The Fisher King turns his head to Merlin Merlin: So you are still alive. The Fisher King: For now. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR Arthur: Now, I'm sure if we just reach in here ... (he removes a brick from the wall as bugs came out) ... we'll be able to find something to release the door ... Gwaine: Go on, then. Don't be such a princess; it's your quest after all. THE THRONE ROOM Merlin (hearing noises from the doors): That'll be ... The Fisher King: ...Your friends. Courage and Strength, I know. Without their help, you would not be here. Merlin (reminding Grettir's advice): What is it you want? The Fisher King: I want an end to my suffering. Merlin: You want to die. The Fisher King: I've been waiting all this years for the arrival of a new time. The time of the Once and Future King. Merlin: I've heard these words before. The Fisher King: And you will hear them again for that time is dawning and my time finally can come to an end. This is why you were brought here. For this is not Arthur's quest, it is yours. Arthur thinks the prize is the trident ... (He drops the trident he hold) but the real prize is something far greater. (A little bottle of water appears in his hand) Water from the Lake of Avalon. I've kept it safe these years, waiting for the right person to claim it. And that is you. You are the one chosen. Merlin: What you're talking about? The Fisher King: Albion's time of need is near and in that dark hour, you must be strong. For you alone can save her. Your powers are great but you will need help. (Presenting the phial to Merlin) And that is what I'm giving you. When all seems lost, this will show you the way. Merlin: Thank you. The Fisher King: I've given you a gift, now you must give me one in return. Merlin: But I have nothing to give. The Fisher King: I think you do. Merlin reminds Morgana's bracelet and takes it out of his jacket. Merlin: If I give you this, you'll die. The Fisher King presents his wrist to Merlin. The young sorcerer kneels and puts the bracelet on the Fisher king's arm. The old man vanishes in the air. Fisher king's distant voice: Thank you. The door opens, and Arthur enters, followed by Gwaine. Arthur: Merlin! He gives him a pat and Gwaine embraces him. Arthur (finding the Trident): Ha! Look what I've found! Now, let's get out of this place. Arthur leaves the throne room, followed by Gwaine. Merlin gives a last sight on the Throne and finally reaches his friends. A FIELD, ON THE WAY BACK TO CAMELOT Gwaine: This is the border. With Uther's decree, I can go no further. Arthur: I'm sorry Gwaine. There's nothing I can do to change that. Merlin (to Gwaine): Maybe one day. Gwaine: Yeah, when Camelot gets itself a half decent king. Arthur: Careful. He is my father. Gwaine: Well, you can't have everything huh? Merlin (to Gwaine): Where will you go this time? Gwaine: 'Think I'll ride south. Merlin: You can't keep living like that. Gwaine: Yeah, but its fun trying. Arthur goes ahead without a word. Merlin: Thanks Gwaine (he follows Arthur) Arthur (turning on his horse): I will remember this Gwaine. Gwaine sighs and leaves. THE FIELD JUST BEFORE CAMELOT Merlin: 'Got to say, that was a good quest! Did you meet that man on the bridge? And then the Wyverns, they were really scary. And, oh! The door to the throne room, that was so close!! Arthur: You do talk some nonsense sometimes, Merlin. I mean, what on Earth would you even know about it. It's not like you were there. Merlin: ... Of course I was. Arthur: You were not there; you're not seeing me for days. You have been on a little trip to pick herbs or whatever it is you do in your spare time. Merlin: aah! Of course, if your Father was to find out you weren't alone... Arthur: Yes Merlin. So just keep your mouth shut. Merlin: Absolutely Sire. 'Do anything you say ... for a price. Arthur: What kind of price? Merlin: A day off ? Arthur: Hum ... I think you've had too many of those herbs you've been picking! Arthur headed toward Camelot, alone. CAMELOT, MORGANA'S CHAMBERS Morgana stares out of the window. She sees Arthur and let slip her beaker away. Gwen: My Lady? (She sees Arthur) Arthur, oh thank God! Morgana (to Gwen): Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy. Gwen (puzzled by Mogana's behavior): I'll clear that up. THE THRONE ROOM Uther: Arthur, I don't know what pleases me more. To be in possession of such a precious artifact or know that you have finally proved yourself to be the man I always hoped you would be. Arthur: Thank you Father. Uther: I have no doubt that you will one day make a fine king. Uther and Arthur leaves the room, everybody applause. Morgana as well but she seems frustrated. GAIUS' CHAMBERS Gaius and Merlin look at the phial the Fisher King gives to Merlin Gaius: It's from the Lake of Avalon? Merlin: That's what he told me. Gaius: Interesting. Merlin: You think? Gaius: Well, it must have some significance. Merlin: Maybe ... Do you believe his warnings? Gaius: Well, we already know one enemy was in our walls. Merlin: Morgana ... Gaius: Her abilities are growing. Whereas the Fisher King is right or wrong, we'd be foolish to ignore his words. * THE END *	Plan: A: Arthur; Q: Who sets out on a quest to retrieve the Golden Trident? A: the Golden Trident; Q: What does Arthur set out to retrieve from the Fisher King's Realm? A: the Fisher King; Q: Who reveals that Arthur's quest was really Merlin's quest? A: Morgause; Q: Who tells Morgana to give Arthur the Eye of the Phoenix? A: his life force; Q: What does the Eye of the Phoenix consume? A: Merlin; Q: Who finds the Fisher King? A: Gwaine; Q: Who did Merlin go in search of when he found out Arthur was given the Eye of the Phoenix? A: Gwen; Q: Who grows suspicious of Morgana? A: magic; Q: What does Gwen see Morgana doing? A: water; Q: What does the Fisher King give Merlin in exchange for the Eye of the Phoenix? A: the Lake of Avalon; Q: Where does the Fisher King give Merlin water from? A: goodbye; Q: What does Gwaine say to Arthur at the border? Summary: Arthur sets out on a quest to retrieve the Golden Trident from the Fisher King's Realm. Morgause tells Morgana to give Arthur the Eye of the Phoenix, which will consume his life force. When Merlin finds out, he goes in search of Gwaine and they follow Arthur into the Fisher King's Realm. Meanwhile, Gwen grows suspicious of Morgana and sees her doing magic. Merlin finds the Fisher King, who reveals it was really Merlin's quest. The King gives him water from the Lake of Avalon in exchange for the Eye of the Phoenix Merlin took from Arthur. Arthur finds the trident, and they head back, but Gwaine says goodbye at the border, since he's still banished.
Flashback New York, 1970 (A man and a woman are walking) Woman: You were right Man: Told you Woman: That was really good Man: Yeah? Glad you liked it Woman: Yeah. Thanks for inviting me Man: Do it again next weekend? Woman: If you're lucky (They stop and see a man lying on the ground) Woman: Oh, God. Is he... do you think he's dead? Man: I don't know. Stay there (The man lying on the ground disappears. The man looks around, hears some noise and sees the body of the woman, dead, lying on the ground) Man: Oh, my God! (The man lying on the ground was Damon) Man: You're that serial killer, aren't you? The son of Sam Damon: Son of Giuseppe, but close enough (He kills him and leaves) Nowadays, [New York] (Damon and Elena are walking in a crowded street) Elena: You dragged me all the way to New York because you were feeling nostalgic? Damon: No. I dragged you to New York because in a matter of 3 days you managed to piss off everyone in Mystic Falls. A little more difficult to do in a city of millions Elena: I was hungry Damon: You were reckless Elena: Emotionless. There's a difference Damon: Look. All that matters is that when I lived here I fed like crazy and had a blast and went undetected for years Elena: So we're just here to have fun? What's the catch? Damon: There's no catch. Look. You wanted out. I got you out. You wanted to feed, I brought you to a city-sized all-you-can-eat buffet. That's the beauty of New York. There's so much life that a little death goes unnoticed. Come on. Let's go get some lunch (Damon is on the phone with Stefan) Stefan: Wait. What do you mean you took her to New York? Damon: And that tone is the reason I didn't pick up the phone the first 20 times you called Stefan: Where is she now? Damon: Out exploring. Maybe she's eating a hot dog... Vendor Stefan: So I take it your search for Katherine is off Damon: Relax, man. This little joy ride is actually a cure hunt. That vampire that Katherine sent after Hayley is a friend of mine. He lived in the city. Will gets vampires fake identities, and I'm sure that Katherine's one of his clients Stefan: And Elena's ok with this little field trip? Just yesterday, she was living the vampire high life. She doesn't want the cure Damon: That's why I didn't tell her Stefan: Damon, if she finds out you're still looking for it, she'll bolt Damon: I'm aware of that, Stefan. What I'm hoping is she's gonna be so wasted on booze and blood that she won't even think about it Stefan: Don't underestimate her Damon: If I can handle you when you flip your switch, I can handle her. Trust me Stefan: Listen to me. She's ruthless without her humanity. The cure's the fastest way to get it back Damon: Just be a good brother and keep Mystic Falls afloat for me and let me do my thing. You've got an immortal named Silas to deal with, remember? [Salvatore's House] (Caroline is cleaning the house and drinks what is left in a cup. Klaus enters) Klaus: Desperate times I take it Caroline: What are you doing here? Klaus: Not judging you for starters, although if you are determined to get drunk, then perhaps I might recommend something a little more sanitary (She drinks again) Klaus: Well, then. You showed me Caroline: Shouldn't you be out chasing Tyler to the ends of the earth, or are there some hopes and dreams you want to crush around here? Klaus: Depends. Do you happen to know where the young Brutus is? Caroline: I know where he's not... with me. He gave Matt the deed to the house, so he's gone for good Klaus: Tyler made it his life's mission to kill me. You can't hate me for driving him away Caroline: No. I can, and I do. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to spiraling, so go away (Stefan rejoins them) Stefan: Actually, I asked him to be here. We need his help. I think Silas is in Mystic Falls [Bonnie's House] (Bonnie is with Silas/Shane) Silas/Shane: Ok, come on .Take a deep breath. And 5, 4... Bonnie: I can't do this Silas/Shane: Bonnie, relax, ok? Trust me Bonnie: How can I trust you if you won't show me your real face? Don't you think it's a little creepy that you're appearing as my dead professor? Silas/Shane: I told you that I'm Silas, I told you Shane died on the island. I'm trying to earn your trust. All right. Look. You invited me into your home, right? Why? Why'd you lie to your friends and tell them everything was fine? Why did you convince your dad that you needed Professor Shane's help to control your magic? What am I doing here? Bonnie: You're in my head. You're making me see things and do things Silas/Shane: Hey. Now. See? Look. I'm strong, but you're a witch, and I can't force you to do anything that you don't already want to do. You care about Jeremy, right? Bonnie: Yeah Silas/Shane: Yeah. You were with him, and you promised to protect him, but you failed, and now in order to bring him back... Bonnie: I need to get rid of the other side Silas/Shane: You are descended from Qetsiyah, one of the most powerful witches of all time. Only you can complete the triangle and cast the spell Bonnie: Completing the triangle means killing 12 people Silas/Shane: 12 people you can bring back. Bonnie, you can do this for Jeremy [Salvatore's House] Klaus: So some blood went missing from a few hospitals. What about Elena? Don't vampires with their humanity off tend to overindulge in human blood, or were you the exception? Stefan: It's not Elena Klaus: Well, let's say for a moment that it was Silas. I'm struggling to see how this affects me Stefan: Look. Silas wants to die and be reunited with his one true love, but he's supernatural, so if he takes the cure and dies, he gets stuck on the other side Klaus: How Shakespearian Stefan: But if he destroys the other side altogether, he can take the cure, die, and pass on, but in destroying it, every dead supernatural being will return to our side Caroline: That means every werewolf, every witch, every vampire. I wonder how many of those you personally killed. Care yet? Klaus: My interest is piqued. How do we stop him? Stefan: Bonnie said Silas needs to complete 3 massacres to do this spell. Before Professor Shane died, he convinced the pastor to blow up the council. Next, he had you kill your hybrids, and now he only needs one more massacre, so if he's here, that's what he's doing. We need to find him [New York] (Damon and Elena enter a bar) Damon: Looks about right Elena: I was promised hedonism Damon: Well, it's early. Hedonism isn't a big fan of the sunlight Elena: Or soap Damon: Easy, Judgy. Not everybody got a hot new haircut today. Give it a couple of hours. This place will be crawling with more punked-out nihilists than you can eat in a decade, trust me Elena: How do you know? Damon: Because I spent most of the seventies here. The factory was too clean, CBGB's was too high-profile, but Billy's... Billy's was the underground of the underground Flashback New York, 1977 [A club] (A band is performing. Everybody dances. Damon goes to the bar and puts to ID's on it) Damon: There you go Will: Two for one. Rock 'n' roll Damon: That's the third 5'7" brunette I've gotten from you, Billy boy. Is that the same client? Will: She's a runner. Some vampires need more identities than others (Two men fight. Damon looks at them) Will: Hey. Be discrete Damon: I kill people and give you their I.D.S, you let me feed in your club. Discretion was never part of the deal (He's about to kill one of the guys but someone stops him) Damon: Lexi? Lexi: You're gonna feed on him right here? You're getting sloppy, Damon Nowadays [New York] (A bar) Elena: You got Lexied? (Rebekah intervenes and presses Damon's head against the table) Rebekah: Following a lead without me? Poor form, Damon. I have to say I'm a little hurt, Damon. I thought we made a good team. Not without its fireworks, but what classic pairing isn't? Elena: Wait. What the hell are you talking about? Rebekah: Damon's following a lead to the cure. I'm following him. Notice your name never came up Elena: You're doing what? Damon: How does it feel to be wrong all the time? I brought Elena here to feed. I mean, Mystic Falls isn't exactly vamp Xanadu right now Rebekah: Right. So you drove 7 hours to New York City? Damon: Yes, and as I was explaining to Elena before we were so rudely interrupted, that my history in this city has a particular resonance to her current situation. When I had my humanity off Flashback New York, 1977 [A club] (Damon and Lexi are outside) Lexi: That explains it. Your switch is flipped Damon: I can't even hear my prey over your constant babbling Lexi: You're not even covering your tracks. We heard about you back in Mystic Falls Damon: So Stefan sent you. Hmm. I thought we were on the off part of our endless on-again, off-again, eternity-of-misery cycle Lexi: Lucky for you he cared just enough to send me. So why'd you flip it? What traumatic event was too much for Damon Salvatore to handle? Damon: "Leave it to beaver." The fifties bored me Lexi: Well, it's the seventies now, and keeping it off is gonna get you caught and killed Damon: And I'll chance it Lexi: I won't. I promised Stefan... Damon: Look, you and Stefan have a thing. He falls off the wagon, you pick him up. He's redeemed; you get your Florence nightingale jollies, ok? Damon: But that's not me. I'm not him. I don't want or need you Lexi: Too bad because you got me Nowadays [New York] Rebekah: Wow. She sounds dreadful Damon: She had a mother Teresa complex Elena: So let me guess. After many dark nights with Lexi, she convinced you to turn your emotions back on, and that's exactly what you plan to do with me Damon: You read the last page of a book first, too? I'm gonna get a drink, many drinks (He goes to the bar) Rebekah: So you really buy all this? Elena: Not one bit. I know he's after the cure. I'm not stupid Rebekah: Well, let's not say things we don't mean Elena: Damon is like a dog with a bone. Stefan, too. They won't give up until they find the cure and then make me take it. So I guess I'm gonna have to find it first Rebekah: You're playing him Elena: No. He's playing me. I'm just returning the favor [Shane's office] (Stefan, Caroline and Klaus enter) Caroline: What are we even looking for? Stefan: Well, if Shane really was working with Silas, chances are he was helping him plan his next move Caroline: Where, on his evil villain to-do list... steal blood, perform 3 massacres, pick up dry cleaning? Klaus: Actually not to nit-pick, but we evil villains usually use minions to pick up our dry cleaning, that sort of thing Caroline: Why is he necessary again? Stefan: Well, we don't know what Silas can do, so if we do have to go head to head with him, an original hybrid who can't die might come in handy Klaus: Besides, Stefan and I work well together, or at least we did in the twenties Stefan: Well, granted my emotions were off Klaus: And that's why you were more fun just as Damon is probably relishing in Elena's emotionless company in New York Stefan: My brother knows what he's doing Klaus: Does he? Don't underestimate the allure of darkness, Stefan. Even the purest hearts are drawn to it. Still, I'm sure it will all be fine Caroline: I think I found something. "Symbolic figures in the dark arts." Didn't Bonnie talk about expression triangles? Here (Stefan reads) Stefan: "In some schools of magic such as expression, human sacrifice can be used as a focus for power. It's rumored that the addition of two supernatural sacrifices compounds the mystical energy, creating an expression triangle." Caroline: Humans... that was the council fire. Demons... Klaus' hybrid failure Klaus: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a failure. What's the third? Caroline: Oh, no [Bonnie's House] (Bonnie is still with Silas/Shane) Bonnie: You want me to kill witches? Silas/Shane: We've been over this. It's temporary. They'll come back Bonnie: What if I'm not strong enough? Silas/Shane: You are strong enough. Look. It won't be easy. Once they realize how strong you are, they'll channel each other one by one using spirit magic till they can strip you of expression. You have to endure them until all 12 are linked as one (They hear the front door) Silas/Shane: Listen. Your dad's here. We have to convince him (Rudy enters) Rudy: Hey. How was the session? Silas/Shane: To be honest, not that great. The meditation isn't really working. Her magic's too strong Rudy: You told me you could help her Bonnie: Dad, it's... it's not his fault Rudy: Not his fault? He's the one who taught you this magic, and now he can't control it Silas/Shane: Listen. We have an idea Rudy: I'm done listening to your ideas. I want you to get out of my house Bonnie: Dad! Silas/Shane: We just call on the spirits Rudy: I want you out of my house! What the hell is happening to her? Silas/Shane: This happened to my wife. Expression consumed her. She had no control Bonnie: I need you to call mom. We need witches, a lot of them [New York] (The club is filled. A band is performing. Elena, Damon and Rebekah are at a table, drinking) Elena: Is this allowed? What would Lexi say? Damon: Lexi thought the only way I would turn my emotions back on was if I started enjoying my life again Rebekah: Do not tell me she took you to Bon Jovi concerts, too Damon: No. Wrong decade. Lexi was not allowed to feed with Stefan. I didn't have that problem, and neither do you Elena: I'm hungry Damon: Pick (She picks a girl and compels her) Elena: Don't scream (She bites her and drinks her blood. Damon drinks with her and stops. He looks at Rebekah) Damon: Your turn (Rebekah rejoins them and drinks on the girl with Elena. Damon leaves them. Elena stops and watches Damon leave through a door for staff only) (Damon enters an apartment) Damon: Ugh. Packrat. Thanks Will [The Woods] (Bonnie rejoins a woman) Bonnie: Is it just you? Woman: This place wasn't easy to find Bonnie: Figured you wouldn't want to draw attention Woman: It will work. I'm Aja Bonnie: You friends with my mom? Aja: I was. After she became a vampire, we didn't have a whole lot in common Bonnie: So she's not coming Aja: This is witch business. Look. I know you're scared, but I've dealt with expression before. I know the hold it can have on you Bonnie: It's not that. I'm just... I'm strong. You won't be able to do this alone Aja: Oh, honey, who said anything about being alone? There's almost nothing as strong as a full coven, so I brought 11 of my closest friends. Won't be fun, but we're gonna cleanse you. You ready? Let's do this [New York] (The band is still performing. Rebekah and Elena stop feeding. Elena compels the girl) Elena: Leave (The girl leaves) Rebekah: Looks like Damon gave us the slip Elena: Good. Hopefully he'll find whatever he's looking for, and then I can take it Rebekah: And what if you can't? I mean, he is stronger than you. You know, I could help you. You want the cure off the table, I want to take it. We could work together Elena: Work together? Don't you hate me? Rebekah: I hated the moral, self-righteous version of you, but this one's not so bad. Maybe it's your new haircut Elena: Do you remember what it's like to be human... weak, fragile? Why would you want to go back to that? Rebekah: Because someday, I want a family' of my own Elena: And that's exactly why I don't want your help. The best part of having no emotions is that I can think rationally. I'll do whatever it takes to get this done. You're the opposite, a pile of neuroses and insecurities, hopes and dreams. You're basically one big emotional variable that I just don't really need Rebekah: You just made me miss the old Elena [SCENE_BREAK] [Shane's office] Caroline: There's been two massacres. Pastor Young's farm is here, and the old Lockwood cellar, where you spitefully slaughtered 12 of your own hybrids, is here. According to the book, the expression triangle is equilateral, putting it here Klaus: Somebody's been skipping their geometry classes. There are actually two places where the third massacre could be Caroline: Well, you didn't let me finish (Stefan enters) Caroline: Hey. What's going on? Did you find Bonnie? Stefan: No, but I talked to her dad. I think I found Silas [The woods] (Bonnie is lying on the ground. Aja is holding her head) Aja: Call out to the sprits, Bonnie. Let them in. Phesmatos tribum... aah! Bonnie: I can't. It's hurting. It hurts! Ohh! Aja: It's because you've rejected the spirits. The expression's consumed you. Phesmatos tribum nas ex viras... Bonnie: I changed my mind Aja: Purgal animum sous... Bonnie: I don't want to do this anymore! Aja: Obscarus! Bonnie: Let me go! Aja: She's fighting. I need help. Link with me. Lend me your power All: Phesmatos repallus tantian... (Bonnie screams) All: Maltuscanum anium par vas Aja: We need more strength! All: Phesmatos repallus tantian maltuscanum anium par vas [New York] (Damon is in Will's apartment and on the phone with Stefan) Damon: So Silas is appearing as Professor Shane. Wouldn't be my first choice Stefan: Well, it would be if you needed to brainwash Bonnie into committing a massacre Damon: You need me to come home? Stefan: No we got it. How's the cure search going? Damon: Well... Not great. I mean, it's no massacre in the making, but Rebekah trailed us here. Then in addition to my buddy being a brilliant identity thief, he's also a hoarder Stefan: What are you trying to find? Damon: Will had a repeat customer, 5'7" brunette. Said she was a runner Stefan: Katherine Damon: Turns out I was helping her run from me. Ironic. Problem is I'm pretty sure that his filing system goes by birthdate, but I can't for the life of me remember Katherine's Stefan: June 5, 1473 Damon: And that, brother, is why you are the better boyfriend (He finds the file) Damon: Well, will you look at that? It's all her former addresses, including a couple from the last two months. I mean, they're mostly P.O. boxes, but, hey, it narrows the search Stefan: Well, you're welcome. So you headed back now? Damon: No. Tomorrow morning. Got to keep up the ruse for the terrible twosome outside, pretend like I'm having a good time Stefan: And you're not? Damon: I'll tell you tomorrow (He hangs up and Elena enters) Damon: Sorry. I needed some quiet. Couldn't hear Stefan over the runaways 2.0 Elena: Let me guess. He's worried Damon: Jealous mainly. He's having acid flashbacks of me and Lexi in the seventies in New York. I'll tell you about it over a drink. Come on Flashback New York, 1977 [A club] Damon (voice over): Lexi stuck with me for months, partying with me, showing me a good time, but late every night, she'd torture me in the worst way possible Lexi: Tell me about her Damon: No Lexi: What did she look like, what did she sound like? Tell me everything you remember about her Damon: Every night Will: And that's my cue. You have a nice fight. Try not to break anything (He leaves them) Damon: Every night. Every night, we get wasted, and the second I bottom out, you have to bring up Katherine Lexi: Because you loved her, and love is the most powerful emotion. If I can just get you to remember how you felt about her... Damon: I don't want to remember. I mean, why do you care so much? Lexi: Do you remember how we first met? It was 1864. Stefan had just killed you father, made you turn into a vampire, and he was killing his way through Mystic Falls. You hated him. Rightfully so, but before you left, you asked me to help him because no matter what happened, he was still your brother, and you cared about him. Now you need help, and he cares about you. We both do. Let me help you. Tell me about Katherine Damon: Talking about Katherine's not gonna help me Lexi: Why not? Damon: Because she's not the person I care about Liz: It flipped. The switch. Why didn't you tell me? Damon: Because I barely felt it at first, but every night, it's gotten stronger. It worked. You worked Nowadays [New York] (Damon and Elena are back at the bar) Elena: You and Lexi? Here on the bar? Damon: On the bar, on the stage, on the roof. It was a very long night Elena: Yeeh Damon: Where you going? Elena: To the roof. I want to hear the rest of the story Damon: Ok [The woods] (Klaus and Caroline are looking for the spot of the massacre) Caroline: I just want to see where we are Klaus: You know, when we split up, you did have the option of going with Stefan Caroline: Yeah? And leave Bonnie's life your hands? Fat chance. Do you even know how to read a map? Klaus: Yes, and do you know who taught me? My friend Magellan Caroline: Wow! You had a friend. Was he drawn to your darkness, too? Klaus: Actually, I was referring to Damon and Elena when I said that, but clearly it struck a chord with you Caroline: It's because it's not true! There is no allure to darkness Klaus: Really? So you've never felt the attraction that comes when someone who's capable of doing terrible things for some reason cares only about you? Caroline: I did once when I thought he was worth it, but it turns out some people can't be fixed. People who do terrible things are just terrible people Klaus: We're here, although judging by the lack of witches, here is not the correct location (Bonnie is still with the witches and she's still hurting) Aja: Yield to the spirits, Bonnie! You can't fight us! (Stefan arrives) Stefan: Stop it. It's not what you think Aja: This is no place for a vampire Stefan: She's working for Silas Aja: Silas? Stefan: He brainwashed her to kill you. Wait. What are you doing? Aja: If Silas has her, she's lost. We can't save her (He tries to stop her) Aja: I have the power of 12 witches. You don't stand a chance! (She uses her powers on him and he steps back in the trees. He's rejoined by Klaus and Caroline) Stefan: They're linked. Bonnie's gonna kill them Klaus: Not if the witches kill her first Caroline: Ugh! Klaus, we need to save her Klaus: How? The only way to stop the witches is to kill them, and then Silas gets what he wants Aja: Spirits, take her soul. Free her from darkness (She's about to kill Bonnie but Caroline intervenes and kills her. All the witches die along with her) Caroline: Bonnie! Bonnie! Bonnie: The triangle is complete [New York] (Damon and Elena are on the rooftop) Elena: It's beautiful up here. I could do this, you know? The Lexi method. Hang with you, party with you. It wouldn't be the worst way to turn my emotions back on Damon: I thought you hated emotions Elena: I do. Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to... Spend more time with you. I've never done it on a rooftop before Damon: You're not missing much Elena: You don't have to take the high road, Damon. I'm not sired to you anymore. I want this. You want this. (She tries to take the paper from his back pocket discretely) Elena: What? Damon: You really think that was gonna work, the s*x, the temptation, the booze? What, are you kidding me? I invented that trick Flashback New York, 1977 [A rooftop] (Damon and Lexi are lying on a mattress. She's burned by the sun and rushes to the door but can't open it) Damon: Good luck! Spent all night reinforcing it. It was tough. Had to be really quiet not to wake you up Lexi: What is this? Damon: Payment Lexi: For what? Damon: Oh, for the last 6 months of my life, for the nagging for the self-righteous platitudes. I'm paying you back for 6 months of you Lexi: Your humanity isn't back on, is it? Damon: Never was Lexi: So this was all just... Damon: A joke! It was a big, fat lie. Best part of it is, you believed it. You thought I was a like Stefan, a wounded little bird that you could nurse back to health, but he's a victim. I choose to be this way. Enjoy the day. I hear it's gonna be a scorcher (He leaves her) Nowadays [A rooftop] Elena: So you pretended to have feelings for her just to get her off your back? Damon: I was willing to do whatever it took. Sound familiar? Elena: Aw. I hurt your feelings Damon: Not my feelings. I'm looking out for you because one day, you will flip that switch back on, and all the bad stuff that you did is gonna come rushing back, and it is going to suck Elena: So you're saying that you felt bad for Lexi? Damon: She became a walking, talking reminder of all the awful things I'd done. I managed to avoid her for decades, and then she just shows up in Mystic Falls to wish my baby bro Happy Birthday, and boom... rush of memories, rush of guilt Elena: So you kill her? Damon: Out of sight, out of mind. Every day that you're like this is the day that you might do the one thing that you can't take back Elena: Here's what I don't get. You spent 6 months trying to get her to fall in love with you just so that you could hurt her. You were spiteful, malicious, borderline evil, and you say that you had your emotions turned off, but those all sound like emotions to me Damon: Maybe they were. Maybe hatred was the first one I got back. All the more reason to cure you. That way, we get the normal Elena back without all the ugly stages in between Elena: I'm not taking the cure, Damon Damon: Yes, you are, even if I have to break your neck or tie you up in chains until we find it (Rebekah intervenes and breaks his neck) Rebekah: What was that you said about handling things yourself? [Bonnie's House] (Bonnie wakes up in her bed. Stefan's here) Stefan: How you feeling? Bonnie: What are you doing here? How'd I get here? Stefan: What do you mean? I... I brought you home. The witches almost killed you Bonnie: What witches? Stefan: You don't remember? Whatever the witches did must have messed with your memory Bonnie: How did I get off the island? Stefan: Wait. Bonnie... What's the last thing you can remember? Bonnie: I guess I remember being in that cave, and Jeremy was trying to pry the cure out of Silas' hands. Please tell me he got it. We didn't get it, did we? Stefan: Bonnie, there's something you need to know about Jeremy [The Woods] (Klaus is digging) Klaus: There. 12 graves for 12 witches. Like it never happened. Only it did happen, and now Silas has everything he needs to open the gates to hell on earth Caroline: You were just gonna let Bonnie die Klaus: I know arithmetic isn't your strong point, but one is still less than 12 Caroline: Yeah, but that one is my best friend Klaus: You tell yourself whatever you need to so you can sleep at night Caroline: I just killed 12 people Klaus: Hey. Hey. You look like you're in need of comfort. Why don't you find someone less terrible you can relate to? (She leaves. He feels something and turns himself. Silas/Shane is here) Silas/Shane: Thank you. Of the 3 massacres, this is the one I was dreading Klaus: Silas I presume [New York] (Damon wakes up. His phone rings) Elena: Morning, Damon Damon: Where are you? Elena: The better question would be where are we going? Rebekah: Sorry, Damon. I think I broke your radio Damon: You're in my car?! Elena: Heh. We weren't gonna take the bus. I wish this could have gone differently. I really do, but we'll give Katherine your best [Salvatore's House] (Stefan is on the phone with Damon) Stefan: Damon, what did you do? Damon: Let's just say it involves a 5'7" brunette and her blond accomplice Stefan: Please don't tell me this is going where I think it is Damon: Wrong fantasy, brother, unless you're into betrayal and snapped necks. The lead I had on Katherine Elena stole. If you're searching for the words to tell me how badly I screwed up, save your breath Stefan: I didn't stop the massacre Damon: Guess Silas has everything he needs Stefan: Everything but the cure [The woods] Klaus: I'm sorry, mate. I don't have it Silas/Shane: But you know who does, and the last thing that you want is for that cure to be used on you, so you bring it to me, and it won't be. You get to live Klaus: Heh. Yeah. With all of my dead supernatural enemies from the other side. You know, you don't scare me, Silas, or, Shane, or, whoever you are Silas/Shane: I think I know what does (He shows him the white oak stake) Klaus: Now where did you get that? Silas/Shane: Well, let's just say your sister's mind is a little easier to read than yours. So... Care to reconsider my offer? (He drives the stake through Klaus' back) Silas/Shane: I missed by an inch, but don't worry. I'm not trying to kill you, not just yet. Just a little something to remember me by. I'll be in touch Ecrit par popo34000	Plan: A: Elena; Q: Who tries to take away a paper Damon found to track down Katherine? A: Mystic Falls; Q: Where does Elena need to get away from? A: New York City; Q: Where does Damon take Elena to? A: the 1970s; Q: When did Damon live in New York? A: Katherine; Q: Who is Damon looking for to get the cure? A: Rebekah; Q: Who breaks Damon's neck? A: Flashbacks; Q: What reveals Damon's hedonistic life in the underground club scene? A: a complicated encounter; Q: What did Damon have with Lexi? A: Stefan; Q: Who did Lexi try to get Damon to flip the switch with? A: Klaus; Q: Who does Silas threaten to kill with a white-oak stake? A: Silas's next move; Q: What do Caroline and Stefan try to figure out? A: Bonnie; Q: Who is Silas trying to convince to perform the last massacre? A: all supernatural creatures; Q: What does Silas tell Bonnie will come back to life when the third massacre is performed? A: the location; Q: What do Stefan, Klaus and Caroline find? A: The twelve witches; Q: Who tries to save Bonnie from the use of dark magic? A: dark magic; Q: What does Silas use to control Bonnie? A: a knife; Q: What did Caroline use to stab the witch who was connected with eleven other witches? A: eleven; Q: How many witches are connected to the witch that Caroline stabs? A: the massacre and Bonnie faints; Q: What happens when all twelve witches die? A: a paper; Q: What does Elena try to take from Damon while seducing him? A: a while; Q: How long did it take for Lexi to let down her guard? A: the door; Q: What did Damon reinforce to keep Lexi from leaving? A: daylight; Q: What time of day did Damon lock Lexi outside in? A: the shade; Q: Where does Lexi hide when Damon catches her? A: the cave; Q: Where does Bonnie's memory go when she wakes up? A: Damon's car; Q: What do Elena and Rebekah steal to search for Katherine? Summary: Realizing that Elena needs some time away from Mystic Falls, Damon takes her to New York City, where he lived and partied in the 1970s. Damon is also looking for Katherine to get the cure. Damon thinks that Elena is oblivious to that fact, but she is actually trying to get to the cure as well. When Rebekah also shows up in New York, she's impressed with Elena's secret agenda of getting the cure. Flashbacks reveal Damon's hedonistic life in the underground club scene and a complicated encounter with Lexi, where Lexi tried to get Damon to flip the switch like she did with Stefan before. Damon also briefs Elena with his experience with Lexi in New York and tries to convince her to flip the switch as well. Meanwhile Caroline and Stefan try to convince Klaus that it would be in his own best interest to help them track down Silas. They team up and try to figure out Silas's next move. They find out that the last massacre has to be involved with witches. Silas is still trying to convince Bonnie to do the last massacre. Bonnie is hesitant, but Silas reminds her that when the third massacre is performed, all supernatural creatures that died come back to life. So Bonnie decides to perform the massacre. Stefan, Klaus and Caroline look for the location and find it. The twelve witches try to save Bonnie from the use of dark magic, but they find out Silas has control of her. So they try to kill her with a knife, but Caroline takes the knife and stabs the witch who is connected with eleven other witches. All twelve witches die, completing the massacre and Bonnie faints. While in New York, Elena attempts to take away a paper Damon found to track down Katherine. She tries to grab it while seducing him, but Damon catches her by revealing he used the same trick. He confides that it took a while but he finally got Lexi to let her guard down and re-enforced the door and locked her outside in daylight. Lexi has no choice, but to hide in the shade. So Damon runs away and confesses that he felt guilty after and still does. But while talking, Rebekah breaks his neck and they take the paper and go. Bonnie wakes up and her memory after the cave is gone. Silas bribes Klaus to help him, threatening to kill him with a white-oak stake he stole from Rebekah. Elena and Rebekah steal Damon's car and search for Katherine.
The Krotons By Robert Holmes 5:15pm - 5:40pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1, INT: LEARNING HALL (The snake-like electronic probe bleeps a little as it receives its instructions from the auto-controller. Steadily it begins to lurch towards the Doctor. He tries to scurry backwards out of the way of the probe, but only succeeds in slipping over on a piece of broken teaching machine.) DOCTOR: Oh deu... ZOE: Ooh! DOCTOR: oh oh oh! ZOE: Oh! DOCTOR: Oh no, aagh agh agh argh aargh! Oooh oh-oh! (His fate seems sealed as the deadly probe steadily closes in on the defenceless form of the Doctor, he puts his hands up to shield his face from the harsh glare of the camera eye, the results are instantaneous and electric. The probe swishes about from side to side, momentarily confused. It sweeps the surrounding area for the pattern it knows as hostile. Keeping his face covered with an elbow, the Doctor scrambles to his feet.) ZOE: Oh Doctor don't move! DOCTOR: Aah, it's alright Zoe. I-I think it's quite safe now. JAMIE: Oh I wouldn't be so sure! DOCTOR: Just watch this Jamie. (He walks towards the probe with his face covered by his hands, then moves his hands down as if he were playing peek-a-boo. The ailing probe lunges for him again, and again he covers his face with his hands.) ZOE: Pattern recognition! (Jamie suspiciously eyes the probe which is flapping about like a fish out of water again.) DOCTOR: Yes, and the pattern is my face! SELRIS: Doctor, do you mean that thing was sent out to attack you and only you? DOCTOR: Yes, so it seems. It's rather flattering isn't it? ZOE: Well then the Krotons know who you are, JAMIE: Aye! ZOE: Or at least what you look like. DOCTOR: Yes... That means they must have a scanner in the wall of the machine. Now if we can find that we might be able to get in touch with them. (While he is talking the Doctor has forgotten to cover his face, and the probe renews it's attack.) JAMIE: Uh..Doctor! (The Doctor ducks out of the way covering his face just as one of the students rushes up to the probe from behind and lunges with an axe. With lightning speed it flips around and sprays a stream of gas at the figure who evaporates, the metal axe clattering harmlessly to the floor. Everyone watches in horror, but the Doctor is particularly appalled.) DOCTOR: Oh no. [SCENE_BREAK] 2, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (Deep within the machine the pixellated image of the Doctor vanishes from the screen as order is restored to the computer's objective circuits.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3, INT: LEARNING HALL (The probe retracts back into the wall and the results hatch snaps closed again.) JAMIE: It's gone back. DOCTOR: Yes. That poor fellow must have confused it's attack mechanism. JAMIE: Eh? DOCTOR: Well it was programmed to kill once - me! It must think that it's succeeded, stupid machine! THARA: There's your wonderful Krotons for you Father! MURDERERS! (He throws his axes at the face of the machine and Selris holds him back.) SELRIS: No! Thara, don't provoke them! THARA: Is that all you care about, not provoking them?! SELRIS: What can we do against their weapons? THARA: We can fight..! AUTO-CONTROLLER: THIIIS IS A WARNING. YOUR LEADER HAS BEEN DESTROYED. ALL GONDS LEAVE THE LEARNING HALL AT ONCE - AT ONCE. THARA: No, stay and fight! AUTO-CONTROLLER: LEAVE THE LEARNING HALL. ALL GONDS LEAVE THE LEARNING HALL. SELRIS: Everyone leave the hall. Now! (Selris stands at the front of the room facing the machine as everyone files out of the hall.) DOCTOR: Come on let's leave Jamie, uh Zoe... [SCENE_BREAK] 4, INT: SELRIS'S HOUSE (Vana is still unresponsively lying where she was set down in Selris's house. She stares blankly ahead as the Doctor examines her with a strange kind of illuminated optical medical-scanning instrument, feeling her head for signs of trauma. As the Doctor places the instrument to one side, Zoe wanders over and picks it up looking at it curiously. It resembles a long metal bar which is curved at one end culminating in a bulbous lamp-like scanner.) ZOE: Where did this come from? DOCTOR: I borrowed it from Beta. ZOE: But I thought they didn't know anything about electricity? (The Doctor continues his examination of Vana's head.) DOCTOR: They don't - er, that works on stored solar energy. Yes the Gonds are quite advanced in some ways. The-their medicine is pretty good, but they haven't got very much general chemistry. I wish they had an ECT machine though. ZOE: Yes. There are tremendous gaps in their knowledge. Well they only seem to know what the machines teach them. DOCTOR: Yes. And the machines are programmed by the Krotons, so the gaps in their knowledge may be significant. (Selris and Jamie wander over.) DOCTOR: Ah, Selris... SELRIS: How is she Doctor? DOCTOR: Well I think she's better, it's difficult to tell. Um Selris, is it safe to enter the Learning-Hall yet? SELRIS: Why? DOCTOR: Er, Zoe and I want to have a look round, don't we Zoe? ZOE: Oh, do we? DOCTOR: Yes, that's right. Ah Jamie, hold out your hand will you? JAMIE: Well what for? DOCTOR: Ah, these pills I got from Beta. JAMIE: Well there's nothing wrong with me! DOCTOR: No-no. Ah, they're for Vana. I want you to stay and look after her. JAMIE: Oh but why can't I go with you? DOCTOR: Because I particularly want you to give her those pills the moment she wakes up. JAMIE: Ah well... ZOE: Well why are we going back to the Learning-Hall? DOCTOR: Oh, to learn Zoe, why else? SELRIS: I am coming with you Doctor. DOCTOR: Oh my dear fellow, there is no need for that. SELRIS: I must know what is happening. DOCTOR: Oh well..ah, certainly. Come along Zoe. (The Doctor, Selris leave, but as Zoe follows Jamie takes her by the arm for a moment.) JAMIE: Zoe, watch him. You know what he's like. ZOE: Oh don't worry Jamie. I'll make sure he doesn't do anything rash. (Jamie sits beside Vana and gazes curiously at the medical-scanner.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5, INT: LEARNING HALL (A squad of pike-carrying guards passes by on the way to the steps, followed by Selris, the Doctor and Zoe.) DOCTOR: Er Selris um, what's that? (He points to a trap door in the floor of the hall.) SELRIS: Oh, ah, that leads to the under-hall. DOCTOR: Oh, what's down there? SELRIS: Nothing, it's never used. DOCTOR: I wonder how far underneath..? Ah, let's have a look shall we? (He pulls up the trap door and begins to descend, his voice getting a little fainter.) DOCTOR: Oh, ah... Oh yes, it's-it's a bit dark and musty down here, Enh. Zoe, stay up there will you? We shan't be long. (Zoe gives herself a resigned smile, then wanders over to one of the teaching machines. Taking a brief moment to glance back, she sits down and places on a headset activating the machine. A complex series of symbols begin to circle each other on the screen. As Zoe operates the machine the rings of complex formulae break apart and arrange themselves in an orderly pattern.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (An alarm rings out alerting the Auto-Controller, which glides back along it's track. As it scans the instruments it notices something it has never experienced before - the needle on the test gauge of the most advanced teaching machine is registering at almost maximum.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7, INT: LEARNING HALL (The Doctor and Selris climb out from the trap door to the Under-Hall.) SELRIS: I told you there was nothing down there. DOCTOR: Ah, but there was Selris. Something rather curious. SELRIS: Only the foundations of the machine. It stands on those metal pillars. (The Doctor notices Zoe sitting at the machine with the headset on grinning vacantly as though she were under the influence of some rewarding boost to the pleasure centres of her brain.) DOCTOR: Zoe! (He walks towards her and pulls the headset off.) DOCTOR: Zoe! (She gets up, smiling a little blearily and faces the Doctor.) ZOE: Oh, you're soon back Doctor. DOCTOR: What do you think you are doing?! ZOE: I was just trying the machine. DOCTOR: You should know better than to do a thing like that! ZOE: Oh but Doctor, it was all so easy! The Krotons were very pleased with me. DOCTOR: Very pleased? (Her head seems to clear a little.) ZOE: Well I felt they were. (He claps his hands in front of her face in a effort to snap her out of it.) DOCTOR: Zoe! Now just you listen to me! Whatever else they are, these Krotons are certainly not friendly! Now we know that don't we? ZOE: Yes of course! DOCTOR: And they use these machines to plant impressions in the mind. That's how they've enslaved these people all these years. SELRIS: Doctor! (The Doctor wanders over to Selris.) DOCTOR: What? SELRIS: Look at the dial! DOCTOR: Oh what of it? (Selris is looking incredulously at the dial on the teaching machine.) SELRIS: It's amazing! Even the best of our students registered less than half of that score! DOCTOR: Yes well, Zoe is something of a genius. Of course it can be very irritating at times! (He glares at Zoe who giggles at him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8, INT: SELRIS'S HOUSE (Vana suddenly begins to writhe and hyperventilate and she sits bolt upright.) JAMIE: Now Vana, now you're alright now. You're safe! (Jamie lies her back down again.) VANA: The ball... The burning ball! JAMIE: What? VANA: It's over my head! JAMIE: Now Vana there's nothing here now! VANA: No no! I saw it, I saw it! (She begins to struggle and Thara appears and takes over from Jamie.) JAMIE: Ah, Thara look... THARA: Now Vana it's alright, there's nothing here. You're safe. (She calms down again.) VANA: It was...flashing - all the lights...burning my mind! The lights... THARA: Vana, you're alright now. You're home. VANA: Thara, is...is that you? THARA: Ssh. (He glances at Jamie.) THARA: At least she recognises me! Vana listen, nothing can hurt you now, you're going to be alright. VANA: Thara, I...I went into the machine... JAMIE: Did you see the Krotons? (She begins to become agitated again.) VANA: The ball... Flashing! Coming down on me! (Thara struggles to keep Vana from thrashing about.) THARA: Now you're quite safe here Vana, now! JAMIE: You'd better take these, here. (Jamie moves a beaker to her lips.) JAMIE: Drink up now - all down. That's it. (She drinks and then relaxes back onto the bed, asleep.) JAMIE: Flashing ball burning her mind? THARA: What did she mean? Is it another of the Krotons weapons? JAMIE: I don't know... Look, you stay here with her, I'll go and get the Doctor. (He pulls on his sheepskin jacket and leaves Thara and Vana alone.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9, INT: LEARNING HALL (The Doctor and Zoe are scraping at the door to the machine.) ZOE: It's crystalline. DOCTOR: Yes, it's hard but it-it's not brittle. I've never seen anything quite like it. ZOE: What was it like down there? DOCTOR: Mm? Oh, what Selris calls the foundations. Uh... Zoe, it was like a root structure. ZOE: A root structure!? But indicates that... DOCTOR: That this so-called "machine" is organic in structure. ZOE: Well is that possible? DOCTOR: Well why not? Some crystals do resemble simple virus forms. I wish I could get a bit of it for analysis... (He returns to scraping the door.) ZOE: Well if you're right that means that the whole of this machine is a sort of a living thing! DOCTOR: Well all life doesn't necessarily have feeling you know... DIRECTOR: Bong! (A loud metallic striking note echoes from within the machine startling the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Great jumping gobstoppers! What's that? SELRIS: The Krotons command. It means there is a message for me. (He walks over to the open results hatch and withdraws a tablet.) DOCTOR: Oh, what does it say? Mm? SELRIS: Class three-one-nine-seven, selected female Zo-Gond. DOCTOR: Zo-Gond? Zoe - they mean you! SELRIS: They've chosen you as a companion. DOCTOR: And we all know what happens to them don't we? ZOE: Oh Doctor what shall I do? (The Doctor smiles at Selris.) DOCTOR: Well she doesn't have to go does she? (He frowns at Selris's lack of an answer.) DOCTOR: Well does she or doesn't she?! SELRIS: I'm afraid she must. Complete obedience is the Krotons first command, and if we fail to obey... DOCTOR: They'll destroy you, I see... ZOE: Oh dear. (The Doctor turns on Zoe.) DOCTOR: Now d'you see what you've done?! Fooling around with this stupid machine! ZOE: Oh, but I'm not a Gond! DOCTOR: But that machine doesn't know that! (The Doctor hurries across the room.) ZOE: Oh, where are you going? DOCTOR: I'm going to take the test, I can't let you go in there alone! Er...what do I do? ZOE: Oh sit down, and put this... This headset on. (She helps him on with the headset.) ZOE: And press the button. (The Doctor continues to struggle with the headset as if he hadn't heard. Zoe lifts one side of it and yells.) ZOE: Press the button! DOCTOR: Alright, no need to shout! Now go away and don't fuss me! (Zoe turns but before she can walk off...) DOCTOR: No come back, what's this? ZOE: ..Wha-i.. DOCTOR: ...It's alright, I know! (He straightens up.) DOCTOR: Alright, fire away. I'm ready. (He sits expectantly. A few moments later Zoe taps him on the shoulder and mouths "Press the button" at him. The Doctor fiddles with the machine, but it doesn't seem to go as well as the time Zoe used it.) DOCTOR: Ah. Oh...oh. ZOE: Oh Doctor, you've got it all wrong! DOCTOR: Oh dear, I've been working in square roots. Er, can I have that again please? ZOE: Well they don't give you a second shots! DOCTOR: Oh. ZOE: Well press the button again! (Selris watches from the background as he operates the machine again.) SELRIS: This is the most advanced machine. Perhaps he can't answer the questions? ZOE: Of course he can. The Doctor's almost as clever as I am! SELRIS: I see. (The meter still reads zero.) DOCTOR: Uh...oh now what have I done? ZOE: Oh Doctor, you've divided instead of multiplying! You must concentrate! DOCTOR: I am Zoe, I am! [SCENE_BREAK] 10, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (The Auto-Controller swivels across to look at the dial again. This time the needle is clearly attempting to display much more than it was designed to measure. It flicks back and forth as if it were trying to break through the maximum limit.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11, INT: LEARNING HALL (At the teaching machine the Doctor finally manages to get the formulae to break apart and display in an orderly fashion on the screen.) SELRIS: Good. DOCTOR: Mm-mm. Yes er, I think that's rather better. (He gets up smiling.) DOCTOR: I think I've scored more than you have Zoe! (The Doctor begins to chuckle to himself looking a little vacant.) ZOE: You answered more questions. Besides, this isn't supposed to be a competition! DOCTOR: It's clever isn't it? The way they make you feel that they're pleased with you... ZOE: Yes. Perhaps the Krotons aren't as bad as we think? (The Doctor chuckles a little more.) DOCTOR: What..? (In an instant he collects his thoughts, clutching delicately at his head.) DOCTOR: What? Of-of course they are! (He turn to Selris.) DOCTOR: Ah, what happens now? SELRIS: The Krotons will be waiting for Zoe. DOCTOR: Well they can wait! We are going in there together. SELRIS: Normally the names don't come through for some time. ZOE: Well mine did. SELRIS: Yes, but perhaps they were impressed with your performance, and that's why. (There is another metallic bonging sound and Selris moves to the open hatch again. The Doctor whispers conspiratorially.) DOCTOR: Sounds a bit like a dinner gong, doesn't it Zoe? SELRIS: Class three-one-nine-eight, selected male - Doctor-Gond. DOCTOR: Doctor-Gond. Idiots! (The door into the machine raises hopefully, like a hungry mouth.) ZOE: Well it means you anyway. DOCTOR: Yes, er-er... Well, are you ready? ZOE: I suppose we have to... DOCTOR: Well we started this, we'd better go through with it. We've got to get to the bottom of this somehow Zoe. ZOE: Oh this is all my fault! DOCTOR: Oh cheer up, cheer up. I expect it'll be quite interesting really. SELRIS: I am sorry Doctor. My people will always remember you. DOCTOR: Eh? Oh...oh that's very nice of them. Stay close to me Zoe. (They walk though the open doorway. Jamie skids into the hall just in time to see the Doctor and Zoe disappear into the darkness.) JAMIE: Doctor! No wait, come back! (Selris holds up a hand to prevent him from entering the machine.) JAMIE: What's happened? (The door slides shut.) JAMIE: Where've they gone? SELRIS: Your people are gone. They are now companions of the Krotons. (With a hum the door slides closed.) JAMIE: Wha-? [SCENE_BREAK] 12, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (From the control panel the Auto-Controller swivels around on it's base to monitor the open door and it's new arrivals. The silvery doorway slides closed again behind them as they enter the Dynotrope, causing the Doctor to look back for a moment.) ZOE: It is a spaceship! (She gazes around the gloomy, honeycomb-patterned walls of the chamber. In the half-light it is hard to make out very much apart from the instruments of the Control Centre to her left. There is also another door identical to the one the just entered. The Doctor looks at the Auto-Controller curiously.) DOCTOR: Yes, but there doesn't seem to be any crew. (He calls out, as if to the spacecraft itself.) DOCTOR: Hello...anybody there? Is anybody at home, hello! (A light comes on illuminating two seats.) ZOE: I think we've been asked to sit down. DOCTOR: Yes I think we have Zoe. (The Doctor Pulls a metal chain from his pocket.) DOCTOR: Uh, Zoe... Hold onto the end of this chain. ZOE: What for? DOCTOR: Look up there - it's a force generator. This chain might help to equalise the power load. ZOE: Well what are they going to do? (At the far side of the room a piece of apparatus is illuminated. It is like a strange angular pillar that tapers to a point, atop which sits a large round jewel ensnared within a series of metallic spokes, behind which is a large tube containing a few scant drops if a silvery substance. The jewel begins to glow with a harsh white light which seems to affect the Doctor and Zoe. They strain to remain composed under the onslaught of energy which is keeping them pinned to the seats like biological specimens.) ZOE: Doctor I can't move! DOCTOR: No, it's a forcefield. Try and relax...relax. (A strange jellyfish-like shape begins to revolve and all around seems to become illuminated by an ethereal glow.) ZOE: Oh! (The light moves faster and faster until the surroundings melt away, swallowed up in the fierce pulsing as the thought-energy machine begins its feast.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13, INT: LEARNING HALL JAMIE: But why did you let them go? SELRIS: It is a command of the Krotons. JAMIE: Ah, the Krotons! They just rap out an order and everyone jumps don't they! Aye, well I'm not just standing here to see my... (He rushes towards the machine.) SELRIS: Where are you going? JAMIE: To find a way into this box of tricks! (Jamie desperately thumps on the door and winces.) JAMIE: Ow! [SCENE_BREAK] 14, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (In the centre of the thought-energy machine a tube slowly fills with some kind of silvery material; the jewel continuing to pulse greedily as if it were drawing the very life-force from the Doctor and Zoe. All they can do is desperately try to fight its effects with pained expressions from where they sit.) DOCTOR: Argh-argh... ZOE: Oh...oh... DOCTOR: Argh! ZOE: Oh! (Still between them, the metal chain in their grasp begins to smoke.) DOCTOR: Oh argh argh! (The links of the chain begin to bend open under their own inconsequential weight, melting like warm putty.) ZOE: Oh oh-oh... oh! DOCTOR: Argh! (The tube-like gauge on the machine fills to it's capacity and there is a puff of smoke from a bank of capacitors that haven't been used for thousands of years, and the pulsing ceases. Slowly one of the honeycomb-designed walls is absorbed back into the machine. As it fades away an antechamber is revealed containing two tanks of mysterious, bubbling liquid. Slowly the Doctor and Zoe regain consciousness, sounding more than a little muzzy-headed.) ZOE: Oh...oh... DOCTOR: Are you alright Zoe? Oh! ZOE: Yes...I think so... DOCTOR: Oh! ZOE: What happened? DOCTOR: Oh some tremendous power, oh! ZOE: They seem to have a way of transferring mental power into pure energy. DOCTOR: Yes. And they used it - or-or rather us to operate a thermal switch. (Having recovered sufficiently they get to their feet and regard the bubbling, steaming tanks.) ZOE: Doctor look! DOCTOR: Yes. ZOE: I thought there was a wall here. DOCTOR: Yes, there was. Zoe I think that I'm beginning to understand. ZOE: What's that? (She peers a little closer at the bubbling tanks which have begun to swirl from within.) DOCTOR: That's curious... Zoe, I think we've gone and done it. ZOE: What? DOCTOR: Well... Just a minute I've got an idea. (He withdraws a small plastic bottle from his pocket, and pulling up his sleeve he and gingerly fills it from the tank. Zoe notices something on the floor and picks up one end of a long ridged pipe examining the end.) DOCTOR: Oh yes... This is a form of slurry. Crystals in suspension. ZOE: But what's its purpose? DOCTOR: Well, life is supposed to have begun on your planet in the sea, mm? Primeval soup someone once called it. Well there are lots of sorts of soups aren't there, I-I wonder what this sort is? (He dips his finger in his sample bottle and tastes it. Zoe shows the Doctor the pipe.) ZOE: And what do you suppose these are? DOCTOR: Mm. ZOE: They look like astronauts' air lines. DOCTOR: Yes I think you're right Zoe. Zoe look! (Their attention is drawn back to the tank again as something large begins to crystallise into shape within the tanks.) DOCTOR: I think it's time we...got out of here. Come along! Uh.. (The Doctor and Zoe rush towards the nearest exit as an inhuman clamp-like claw breaks the surface of the tank.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15, INT: DYNOTROPE CORRIDOR (The Doctor pauses for a moment.) ZOE: Well what are we going to do if we do get out? We haven't learned anything yet. DOCTOR: Yes we have, once we can analyse this. (He taps the side of the bottle.) DOCTOR: Now uh, come on... [SCENE_BREAK] 16, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (In the Control-Centre of the Dynotrope a pulsing alien heartbeat can now be heard. The shape from the tank is now wandering about - its torso is large, crystalline and square as a box with two tentacles, one ending in a strange clamp and the other ending in a claw that resembles a pair of pinking shears. It checks that one of the lines is securely fixed to its torso with a claw, then moves over to the antechamber where another shape is forming in the fluid suspension of the second tank.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17, INT: LEARNING HALL (Jamie is attempting to jam his dirk into a gap in the door so he can pry it open.) SELRIS: There is no way in! JAMIE: Look, there's a door here if I can just get it open! SELRIS: No-one can enter unless the Krotons wish it. JAMIE: Well we'll see about that! All I need is some sort of crowbar... (He looks around the hall.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (The large, square bulk of the Krotons stand side by side. Their bodies made of a hard, silvery substance which is ridged and studded with tiny crystalline peaks. Powerful shoulders are the base for a many-faceted head devoid of any recognisable features resembling a freshly cut gemstone. They move about the chamber on a legless membrane skirting, their two flexible arm-like tentacles operating the control panel. Their rough, booming voices have a strangely mechanical edge to them.) KROTON-COMMANDER: THE GONDS SHOULD BE HERE. KROTON: THEY ARE IN THE EXIT-SHAFT. KROTON-COMMANDER: WHY? THEY ARE CONDITIONED TO OBEY! KROTON: THE CONDITIONIN' MAY HAVE FAILED. (The Kroton views the Doctor and Zoe on a video-screen.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19, INT: POWER-CHAMBER (The Doctor and Zoe cut through a strange area of the Dynotrope. All around pipes weave through the glowing-walled chamber, and in the centre is a strange sculpture, a tower of spheres and discs resembling a strange kind of radio antennae. Avoiding the antennae they rush through a wall of dangling pipes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20, INT: EXIT-SHAFT (The Doctor moves to the doorway and examines it.) ZOE: It should slide somewhere. DOCTOR: Yes, there must be a trip-mechanism. ZOE: Doctor look, there's a photo-electric cell here. DOCTOR: Aah! ZOE: It can't be working. (Zoe moves her hand in front of a large circular hole on the wall to the right of the door.) DOCTOR: Well if it's not working... ZOE: Then the Krotons must have cut the circuit. DOCTOR: Yes. ZOE: Then we're trapped, they know we're here! DOCTOR: Just a moment I have an idea. Er, that piece of mica that I picked up, here we are... (He pulls the rock from his pocket and presses it into the hole.) DOCTOR: Now if I can use it to bridge the gap... ZOE: Well will mica work? DOCTOR: Well the whole machine's made of crystal. (The door rises, but the Doctor holds Zoe back.) DOCTOR: Wait! The poison jet! [SCENE_BREAK] 21, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (The Krotons are still monitoring the Doctor and Zoe.) KROTON-COMMANDER: THEY HAVE ACTIVATED THE CIRCUIT. KROTON: THEN THE DISPERSION UNIT WILL KILL THEM. [SCENE_BREAK] 22, INT: EXIT-SHAFT ZOE: Doctor we've got to risk it! DOCTOR: Yes, but-but jump down to the side, don't go down the ramp. [SCENE_BREAK] 23, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (The image on the video link shows the Doctor and Zoe dart out of the door, jump from the side of the ramp and scurry off.) KROTON-COMMANDER: THEY ARE NOT GONDS! KROTON: WHY DID YOU INOPERATE THE DISPERSION UNIT? KROTON-COMMANDER: WE NEED THEM ALIVE. KROTON: THEY HAVE ESCAPED. KROTON-COMMANDER: KEEP THE SCANNER ON THEM. WE WILL ORDER THE GONDS TO CAPTURE THEM AND BRING THEM BACK. (Operating another video link, the Kroton sees Jamie in the Learning Hall as he attempts to break into the machine.) KROTON: THAT IS NOT A GOND! KROTON-COMMANDER: IT IS POSSIBLE THAT THEY HAVE EVOLVED. KROTON: THERE HAS NOT BEEN TIME. IT IS A SIMILAR BIPED ANIMAL, BUT NOT FROM THIS PLANET. KROTON-COMMANDER: IT IS POSSIBLE THAT THESE HIGHER ANTHROPOIDS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE PLANET. (The picture of the Learning Hall changes to that of Selris.) KROTON: THAT IS A GOND. THESE CREATURES ARE WORKING IN ALLIANCE WITH THE GONDS. (The image switches back to Jamie again.) KROTON-COMMANDER: LET US TAKE THIS ONE. IT'S MIND WILL HAVE THE CAPACITY WE NEED. [SCENE_BREAK] 24, INT: LEARNING HALL (The door to the machine slides open.) JAMIE: At last! SELRIS: No, don't enter! JAMIE: Look, I have this. (He brandishes his crowbar and then enters.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25, INT: CONTROL-CENTRE (Jamie cautiously enters the Control Centre from the Entrance-Shaft. But before he has the chance to look around a claw grabs him by the wrist causing the to crowbar skitter from his grasp. He is thrust violently into one of the chairs.) JAMIE: Aaargh! KROTON-COMMANDER: HAVE YOU DAMAGED IT? KROTON: NO, IT IS ALIVE. ANIMAL TISSUE IS WEAK. KROTON-COMMANDER: IT IS RECOVERING. TEST IT'S MIND. KROTON: THIS IS NOT A HIGH-BRAIN - IT IS A PRIMITIVE! KROTON-COMMANDER: THEN THE POWER WILL KILL IT! (The Krotons watch impassively as Jamie convulses in the chair under the harsh halo of light from the thought-energy machine...)	Plan: A: a companion; Q: What is Zoe selected as for the Krotons? A: the Doctor; Q: Who insists on joining Zoe? Summary: Zoe is selected as a companion for the Krotons and the Doctor insists on joining her.
Originally written by . Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.] PHOEBE: Hey. Watcha guys doin? RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller. PHOEBE: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie. RACHEL: What? ROSS: What're you talkin' about? PHOEBE: C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun. ROSS: Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end? PHOEBE: What when Yeller saves saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy? RACHEL: That's not the end. PHOEBE: Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'. MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies? PHOEBE: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said. RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen. PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.] MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves. [Chandler and Joey come sprinting in] JOEY: Ya know, one of these times you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over. MONICA: Alright, I've got a leg, three breasts and a wing. CHANDLER: Well, how do you find clothes that fit? JOEY: Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question. MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look. JOEY: No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket. CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?' MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard? JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick? RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan. CHANDLER: Ok, that's Eric. RICHARD: Glad to be of help. Matches. [walks out to the balcony] MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What? JOEY: I don't know. MONICA: C'mon. Keeps his fingers to himself and he's always minty fresh. CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings. MONICA: So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag. [walks off] JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car? CHANDLER: Ok, this could be tough. JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar. CHANDLER: Ooh, you almost had it. [Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.] ROSS: [smells Ben's butt] No no, you're fine, you're fine. CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello ROSS: Hi. SUSAN: Hey. CAROL: Hi honey. ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened. CAROL: What? SUSAN: What? ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it. CAROL: Uhh, we know, he already did it last week. SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want. ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour? CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen. ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like- CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine. ROSS: Really? I mean, I, I had a whole speach prepared. SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun. ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good. [Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there. Phoebe enters carrying video tapes.] PHOEBE: Hey. RACHEL: Hey Phoebs, whatcha got there? PHOEBE: Ok, Love Story, Brian's Song, and Terms of Endearment. MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay. PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself. [Chandler and Joey enter] CHANDLER: Hey. JOEY: Hey. RACHEL: Hey. MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him? JOEY: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car. MONICA: So'd you guys have fun? CHANDLER: Your boyfriend is so cool. MONICA: Really? CHANDLER: Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15. RACHEL: Wow, he must like you the best. JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar]. CHANDLER: You're welcome. Hey Joey, thanks for parking the car [passes the dollar back]. JOEY: No problem. Hey Chandler CHANDLER: I think they get it. JOEY: Ok. [Richard enters] CHANDLER: There's the man. JOEY: He-he-eyy. [Shakes his had and passes the dollar] RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way. JOEY: Ok. He kept my dollar. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.] MONICA: So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do? CAROL: Uh, we're going down to Colonial Williamsburg. SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there. ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg. CAROL: Think I better go before mommy starts weeping. ROSS: Buy mommy. CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy. ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben. MONICA: Ross. ROSS: Yeah. MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here? JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me? ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula. MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard. JOEY: Not like him, per-se, just not un-like him. [Chandler enters with his hair full of mousse and a cheesy moustache] ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler. CHANDLER: Just tryin' somethin' here, ya know. MONICA: So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache? JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks. ROSS: Yeah, you really sidestepped that land mine. CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs. MONICA: You're meeting Richard? JOEY: Yeah, we're goin' to a Ranger game. CHANDLER: Yeah, didn't he tell ya? MONICA: Well, he told me he was going out with the guys, I just didn't know that you were the guys. CHANDLER: You hear that? We're the guys. JOEY: We're the guys. MONICA: With that moustache doesn't Chandler remind you of Aunt Sylvia? ROSS: Thank you. [Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is working. Ross enters with Ben.] ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try. RACHEL: No luck huh? ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off. RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok. [she takes Ben and holds him at arms length] ROSS: What're you doing? RACHEL: Uh, I'm holding Ben. ROSS: Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb. RACHEL: Ok. ROSS: Well just hold him like you'd hold a football. RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football. ROSS: Ok, here, here. There we go. RACHEL: Ok, I'm sorry, I'm just not very good with babies. I mean I haven't been around them, I mean, you know, since I was one. ROSS: It's alright, it's no big deal. RACHEL: Really? ROSS: Yeah, definitely, I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby. RACHEL: What? ROSS: What? RACHEL: You think about stuff like that? ROSS: Uhh, yeah. I mean, actually I kinda think that we'll have, we'll have two babies. RACHEL: Two, two babies? ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive. RACHEL: Then what's gonna happen? ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale. RACHEL: Uh-huh. ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great. RACHEL: Wow. Wow, that's great. Great. Ok, wow, you know what. ROSS: Huh? RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? [leaves] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.] PHOEBE: Hey. RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening? PHOEBE: Oh, ok, murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes. MONICA: So you watched the movies huh? PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies. RICHARD: Charlotte who? PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud. MONICA: Alright, you wanna feel better? PHOEBE: Yeah. MONICA: Ok, here, watch this. PHOEBE: It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this. MONICA: So you can't lose, it's there in the title. Wonderfullness is baked right in. PHOEBE: Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease. RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming? PHOEBE: Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity. CHANDLER: [runs in] Hey, big guy, game time. RICHARD: Hey, be right there. MONICA: There's a game? CHANDLER: Uh, yeah, I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel. RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs. MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other. RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?' MONICA: Alright that's great, then just go. Go Knicks. RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs. MONICA: Oh, then go Vassar. RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it. MONICA: Ok, then just go. RICHARD: Ok. [leaves] MONICA: Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them. PHOEBE: Sure. MONICA: It's just that he doesn't have that much free time, ya know, and I don't know, what do I do? PHOEBE: Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off. RACHEL: [enters] Aghh. PHOEBE: Me too. [leaves] MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys. RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century. MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles. ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there? RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes. ROSS: Well I'm sorry, I think about stuff. Ya know, I mean, you're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders. RACHEL: Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks. ROSS: C'mon, what, you never think about our future? RACHEL: Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be. ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good. RACHEL: What was the book? ROSS: The big book of childrens' names. RACHEL: Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing. ROSS: Yeah. RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that. ROSS: Ok fine. RACHEL: Thank you. ROSS: We're not done. RACHEL: I didn't know that. ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that. RACHEL: Fine, I will. ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you. RACHEL: Oh yeah. ROSS: Yeah. RACHEL: Well I love you too. ROSS: Well that's the first time we've said that. RACHEL: Yes it is. ROSS: Well, I'm gonna kiss you. RACHEL: Well you better. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen, Phoebe enters.] PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip. MONICA: Did you like it? PHOEBE: Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed. MONICA: Alright, I'll give you the ear thing but don't you think the ending was pretty wonderful? PHOEBE: I didn't watch the ending, I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse, it should have been called, "It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does." [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.] CHANDLER: Kick save and... denied. RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier? JOEY: Man you are incredible. RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college. CHANDLER: Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's. RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in. MONICA: [enters] Honey. Uh, not to sound too Florence Henderson but, dinner's on the table. RICHARD: Ok, just one more point. MONICA: [grabs the other two bars on Richard's side and scores] Score! Now can we go? CHANDLER: See, that's why we don't let her play. RICHARD: Is everything all right? MONICA: Um-hmm. RICHARD: Uh-oh. CHANDLER: Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time. JOEY: Yeah, he's just really great to hang around with. RICHARD: Well. JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here. RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad? JOEY: Oh yeah. CHANDLER: No. JOEY: Nooooo. CHANDLER: Your just, your just clearly not familiar with our young persons vernacular. See, when we say dad, we mean buddy. We mean pal. RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah. CHANDLER: No no, seriously, Joey's my dad, Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work. RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around. MONICA: Nighty-nite. CHANDLER: You're not a dad. You're not a dad. JOEY: Not a dad. CHANDLER: I can't believe you got us into trouble. [slaps Joey on the arm. Joey takes exception and slaps him back] MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok? RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys. MONICA: Come here. I'll make you feel like one of the guys. You know for a really cool guy, you suck at foosball. RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em. MONICA: Yeah, well they suck too. [Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel is changing Ben's diaper under Ross's supervision.] ROSS: Ok, and then you take the poopie diaper and you put it in the poopie diaper pail. RACHEL: Ok Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter. ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] Hello. CAROL: It's us. ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room] RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi. BEN: Hi. RACHEL: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'. ROSS: Wha, what? RACHEL: Ben just said hi. ROSS: What, the word hi? RACHEL: Ye-, no, my Uncle Hi. ROSS: Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything. RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just bring it out in him. CAROL and SUSAN: Hello. RACHEL: Guess what. Ben just said his first word. CAROL: What did he say? ROSS: Something about hi. SUSAN: That's so exciting. CAROL: Mommy is so proud of you. Hi. Hi. RACHEL: You know, actually it's more like, hi. CAROL: Hi. RACHEL: Hi. CAROL: Hi. RACHEL: Hi. CAROL: Hi. RACHEL: Hi. CAROL: Hi. SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while. CAROL: We've got a cab waiting downstairs. ROSS: Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him. CAROL: Tuesday. ROSS: Tuesday right. Ok, bye you guys. RACHEL: Take care. ROSS: Bye Ben. BEN: Bye. RACHEL: Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me. SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college. CAROL: We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting. ROSS: Alright, alright, ok. Bye. BEN: Bye. ROSS: Bye. BEN: Bye. ROSS: Bye. BEN: Bye. ROSS: Bye. CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.] ERNIE: Oh wow, look at this nice deep hole I've been digging. Hey Bert, isn't this a nice hole here. Hey. PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again] ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost. PHOEBE: Oh, I'm so glad you're here.	Plan: A: Phoebe's world view; Q: What is shattered when Phoebe learns how the movie, Old Yeller, really ends? A: Phoebe; Q: Who watches all the films her mother never allowed her to watch? A: Old Yeller; Q: What movie does Phoebe watch that makes her depressed? A: Monica; Q: Who is jealous when Richard begins hanging out with Joey and Chandler? A: Richard; Q: Who did Joey and Chandler consider a father figure? A: buddies; Q: What did Richard think of Joey and Chandler? A: Rachel panics; Q: What happens when Rachel learns that Ross has already planned their whole life together? Summary: Phoebe's world view is shattered when she learns how the movie, Old Yeller , really ends. She watches all the films her mother never allowed her to watch and becomes depressed. Monica is jealous when Richard begins hanging out with Joey and Chandler. However, Joey and Chandler confess they consider Richard a fatherly figure, while Richard believed they were buddies. Rachel panics when she learns that Ross has already planned their whole life together.
#420 - Promicide [Joey's Room - Bessie is making some final adjustments on Joey's dress, while Pacey lays on Joey's bed watching.] Bessie: (with pins in her mouth, mumbling) Oh, Joey, you wook wadiant. Joey: (confused) What? Pacey: I believe she said, "oh, Joey, you look radiant." And I could not agree more with your wise assessment, Bess. Joey Potter, you do look absolutely radiant. Joey: I don't look radiant. I look silly. Pacey: That's ridiculous, Jo. I'm not even gonna dignify that comment with a response. Joey: Pacey, the prom? What are we, like, in high school? Pacey: Yeah. We are in high school last time I checked. Joey: Not to mention I don't have the best track record for these events. I mean, need I remind you, of the debacle that was last year's anti-prom? Bessie: (mumbling) Oh, God, I forgot to pick up Alexander. Pacey: Oh, my god. She forgot to pick up Alexander. Bessie: Pacey, you finish. Pacey: Ok. (he takes the scissors and Bessie rushes out.) Ok. Joey: So...you like my dress? Pacey: Well, I believe I already used the word radiant. Joey: Well, actually, 'cause I kind of figured that the dress really isn't the part that the guys care about. It's really the after-prom when the dress comes off. Pacey: Speaking of prom, I need for you to go and pick up the prom tickets. Joey: I thought you were gonna pick up the prom tickets. Pacey: Well, I tried to pick up the prom tickets, but my poor academic standing has put me on "the do not sell to" list. Joey: Did you remember the limo? Pacey: Yeah. Yeah, I remembered the limo. I told you I'm gonna take care of everything. Joey: Well, Pacey, you don't have to take care of everything yourself. I mean, I can handle some of the preparations. Pacey: I want to. Ok? I want to take care of everything. I want to make this perfect for you. Joey: Sweetheart... you don't have to make this perfect. Pacey: Well, that's sweet of you to say, but I'd like to try anyway, if that's all the same to you. And speaking of, I really should kind of get on my way. But I love you, Jo. And... You deserve to have the most amazing senior prom that anyone has ever had, and that is exactly what I'm gonna give you, ok? So, from here on out, smooth sailing, I promise. (he turns to leave, but decides to pull one more string off Joey's dress. We hear a rip. Pacey grimaces and Joey tries to look over her shoulder.) Damn. [Jen's Room - Jen sits on her bed, Jack is on the edge, and Tobey stands talking to them.] Tobey: It was unbelievable. So there I am. 15 years old. I'm at this girl's senior prom, and I've just confessed to her that I'm gay. And what does she do in response? She sticks her tongue all the way down my throat! It gets worse. She takes my hand, and she sticks it on her crotch, and she says, "you may think you're gay now, honey, but give me an hour, and I'll rock your world!" Jack: No way! That's crazy! Tobey: Tell me about it. Hey, but don't let my horror story fool you. I'm sure you guys will have a great time at your prom. I gotta go. I got a doctor's appointment. Jack: Oh, yeah. Tobey: Final one after the incident. Bye, Jen. Jen: Bye, sweetie. Tobey: Good luck findin' a dress. And, uh, you can keep the magazines. (grabbing one of the magazines off the bed) Ooh--I'm doin' the cosmo sx quiz, though. Jack, give me a call. Jack: See ya later. Tobey: And, uh, I want to hear all about the prom-related details. Jack: You got it. Bye. Tobey: See ya later. Jen: Bye-bye! (Tobey walks out of the room and Jen closes the door.) Jack: That is too funny. Heh. (Jen gives him a smile) Don't even say it. Jen: I didn't say a thing. Jack: You don't have to. I know what you're thinking, and the answer is "no, I am not asking Tobey to the prom." Jen: Why the hell not? Jack, you guys are getting along really well, and it seems like you have fun together. Plus, he obviously wants you to ask him. I mean, every other word out of his mouth is "prom." Jack: Do you remember last year? Remember with Ethan? All the controversy-- crazy Barbara johns, the whole anti-prom thing? Jen: Jack, nobody cares. Just take the boy to prom. Jack: You know what I think? I think you're tryin' to get out of this whole prom thing altogether. That's what this is really all about. Now, just pick a dress, j! Jen: Could you not change the subject? Jack, I can go stag. It's fine. Jack: We're both aware of Tobey's more-than-platonic feelings. Now, if I ask him to go to the prom, it's like I'm leading him on! Jen: Jack, all I'm say-- Jack: I don't want to hear it. Jen, drop it! That's it! Jen: Ah-- but that's-- Jack: That's it! Stop! Shh! No-- pick a dress. [Clothing Store - The scene switches between Gretchen and Jen are trying on dresses with Joey and Dawson and Jack trying on their tuxes.] Gretchen: Do you think this one's too tight? Jen: No, you look perfect. I, on the other hand, look like a big, stupid freak. Gretchen: Uh, yeah, in what universe? Joey: She's right. You look... luminous! Jen: Like a big, luminous freak. Jack: We are gonna look great. Dawson: As long as Gretchen thinks so. Jack: Oh, speaking of which, did you get the corsage? Dawson: Pacey said he'd pick up mine when he picked up Joey's. Jack: Limo? Dawson: Pacey. Jack: I guess we got everything covered then. Gretchen: You know, I'm the only one here with a right to feel like a freak. My senior prom was last century. You know, when you think about it, it's actually kind of depressing. Joey: You don't seem all that depressed. Gretchen: You know, because I'm not. I-I'm up for that kick-ass job in Boston, which is super exciting, and I feel like the prom will be this fun trip down memory lane on the arm of a guy I'm totally into. What's there to be depressed about? Jack: Actually, uh, there is one more tradition that I almost forgot about. Dawson: What's that? Jack: Come on, don't make me say it. Are you or are you not gonna fulfill the long-standing teenage tradition of after-prom sx? Dawson: I decline to respond to that line of questioning. Joey: How are you, miss Lindley? Seems to me that ever since we got back from New York, you seemed a little... Jen: horribly messed up? Joey: I was gonna say sad. Jen: Mmm--I'm sad. And horribly messed up and...You know, terrified of the future and haunted by the past, but other than that, I feel really good about things. Jack: All I'm sayin' is if you were gonna do it on prom night, just...you know, be careful, man. That's all. Dawson: I appreciate your concern, but if we were planning on following through in any traditions, I've got my emotional bases covered. Jack: Ah. Good to know. Dawson: But I admit to nothing. Joey: So why don't I feel perfect? Jen: In the words of my former therapist, "why don't you tell me?" Joey: Hmm, well, I'm terrified of the future, for one thing. And a couple of weeks ago, I had a little bit of a scare. But that's not even it. I don't know. Maybe it's Pacey. You know what, Jen, it just doesn't seem like he's too eager to... to touch me. Jen: I'm sure he's just waiting for you to come to him. Joey: You think? Yeah, it makes sense. I mean, he probably is just waiting. Jen: Yeah. Joey: Jen, what if he's not waiting for me? [Capeside - Gretchen is coming out of a store and Dawson approaches her.] Gretchen: Hey! Dawson: I was just thinkin' about you. Hence my ear-to-ear grin. Gretchen: I didn't get that job in Boston. Dawson: What? What happened? Gretchen: The woman from the magazine-- she just paged me, and I called her back. She said that she loved me and that I was perfect for it, but that I didn't have a college degree or the necessary experience. Dawson: Oh, god, that sucks. I'm sorry. Gretchen: I really thought I had it. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Dawson: If you want to skip this whole prom thing, I totally understand. Gretchen: No. No, Dawson, come on. This is--this is your milestone, not mine. And you deserve to have it be a wonderful and memorable experience. And that's what it's gonna be. Dawson: Are you sure? Gretchen: Yes. Yes, it's fine. It's more than fine. It's gonna kick ass. I promise. [Phone - Jen and Tobey are on the phone talking, Jen at her house, Tobey at his.] Jen: I'm telling you, Tobey, he desperately wants to ask you. He's--he's just too embarrassed, you know. He's got a really irrational fear of rejection. Tobey: Mmm, I don't know, Jen. I-it just didn't seem like Jack wanted to ask me to prom. Jen: Would I make this up? Look, he...is a seething quagmire of neuroses. You--you real-- you just--you don't even want to know. I mean, how somebody so good-looking could be so insecure, it's...beyond me. But I assure you, he really wants you to go to prom with him. He told me so. The guy begged me to come over here and ask you, so just--just call him and say yes. Hmm? [Joey's Room - Pacey and Joey sit on the bed studying. Joey keeps giving looks at Pacey like she wants to get busy. Pacey keeps his nose in his book.] Joey: You want to know what? Nobody's home. Bessie, Bodie, Alexander--all gone. And there are no guests here. So, basically, that means we have the whole place to ourselves. Pacey: (still reading) Mm-hmm. (Joey moves in to kiss him, but just before their lips touch,) Are you thirsty? Joey: No, I'm not thirsty. (she goes to kiss him again, but Pacey moves quickly and kisses her cheek.) Try again. (trying again to kiss him) Pacey: You know what I could go for? Turkey sandwich on rye bread. You want one? Joey: (disappointed) No, thank you. Pacey: (getting up from the bed) Ok. Well, I'll be right back. [Phone - Jen is at her house when Jack calls from his.] Jen: (answering the phone) Hello. Jack: Hello there. Jen: Uh--Jack, ok. Um, listen, you cannot be mad at me, because I want you to remember a little relationship called me and Henry which you completely orchestrated against my will, not to mention the whole college application thing. Jack: I'm not mad, Jen. Jen: You're not? Jack: No. Now, I'll admit I was a little... surprised when I emphatically stated my strong desire not to go to the prom with Tobey, to have him then call me up and say, "Jen told me everything, and my answer's yes, Jack. I would love to go to the prom with you." Now, yes, I'll admit, I was slightly... peeved. But then I remembered what you said-- that you would go to the prom anyway, even if I brought Tobey. Jen: Yeah, of course I'm still going to the prom. Jack: So you promise and solemnly swear, no matter what. Jen: (confused) Yes, I promise and solemnly swear. Jack: No matter what? Jen: (a little nervous) Jack, what are you talking about? Jack: Oh, nothin'. It's just that, uh, well, I realized... (looking at his watch) why get mad when you can get even? (the doorbell rings at Jen's house. She moves to it and answers the door. Drue is standing outside.) Drue: Jack told me everything, and my answer is yes. Jen, I'd love to go to the prom with you. (Jen looks scared and just closes the door on him.) [Dawson's Front Yard - Dawson walks out of the house where Gale, Mitch and Lillian are waiting. He is dressed for the prom.] Gale: Oh, my god. Look at my little boy. Mitch: Looks like a man to me. Gale: Oh, I think I'm gonna cry. Oh, here, let's get one with Dawson and Lily. Mitch: Good. (he hands Dawson Lily) Here you go. Gale: Oh, honey, you are the spitting image of your father. Do you realize that? Mitch: Much more handsome. Ah. Gale: I cannot believe this is our baby boy's senior prom. Dawson: (to Lily) Pay no attention to them, Lily. I know they seem like they're a little strange sometimes, but they're actually very good parents. Just a little emotional. Joey: (walking up) Hey, everyone. Dawson: Joey. Gale: Oh, Joey, honey. You are breathtaking. Here, let me get one of the two of you. Mitch: I'll take lily. Yeah, there you go. Whoa, thanks. There's my girl. Dawson: All right. My mom's right. You look breathtaking. Joey: Thank you. So do you. Dawson: Well, thank you. Gale: Smile. Maybe one more. Happy, happy. Mitch: (Lily starts to cry) Uh-oh. Uh-oh. All right, easy there. Honey, shh. (Gale and Mitch tend to the baby so Dawson and Joey turn to talk) Joey: So-- Dawson: You know-- Joey: Go ahead. Dawson: I was just gonna say, given everything that's happened in the 12 months since last year's prom, I'm just really glad we ended up here. Joey: Me, too. Dawson: God, we're so healthy, it just makes me wanna puke. Joey: Yeah. It is quite sickening, right? Mitch: Hi guys! Gale: Hello, you two! Dawson: (to Gretchen) Hey. Joey: (to Pacey) Hey. Gretchen: (to Dawson) Hey. Dawson: You look beautiful. Gretchen: Thank you. Dawson: Come here. Gretchen: You're lookin' pretty handsome yourself. Dawson: So, uh...how you doin'? Better? Gretchen: Much. Gale: Ok, um, let me see. How about we do the ceremonial pinning of the corsage? Pacey: Ready? Dawson: All right. Joey: Pace, when did you pick those up? Pacey: I got these yesterday. Gretchen: Pace, you were supposed to refrigerate them. Pacey: Well, nobody told me that. Dawson: You know what? That is not a big deal at all. Mom, can we pick some new ones from your garden? (Dawson follows his mom.) Gale: Great idea. I'll go get my shears. Dawson: Just tell me you didn't forget the limo. Pacey: Of course I didn't forget the limo. Mitch: Joey, here. Why don't you take Lily, and we'll get a picture of you and Gretchen. (Gretchen and Joey fawn over Lily. Pacey starts to walk away.) Joey: Pacey, where are you going? Pacey: I'll be right back. Drue: Hey, everyone. Happy prom. (everyone looks at Drue like he's an alien) You're all probably wondering what I'm doing here. Well, I'm here to meet my date, of course-- the one and only Jen Lindley. Oh, cool. A baby. Can I hold it? Everyone: No! [Tobey's House - Jack nervously walks up the steps and knocks on the door. Tobey answers it and he looks very nice. No glasses, either. Jack just stands there in shock with his mouth hanging open.] Tobey: Hey, Jack. You look good. We should probably be going. My parents are hiding upstairs. They're not too keen on this whole "prom date with a boy" thing. You'd think they would have loosened up and gotten a clue by now, but... what are you gonna do? Are you all right? (Jack nods) Ok, 'cause we can't leave unless you stop blocking the door. Jack: Right. Sorry. Tobey: It's ok. [Dawson's House - Jen has arrived and goes over to greet everyone.] Dawson: Hey. Joey: Hey. Gretchen: Hi. Look at you, gorgeous. Jen: (hugging them) Thank you. Look at you. (to Dawson) Hi, handsome. Drue: Darling, you're a vision. Jen: (making a face, then noticing Jack and Tobey have arrived) Excuse me. (going over to them.) Drue: (yelling after her) You're adorable when you're angry. Jen: This has gone too far. Jack: Oh, well, it must be stopped, then, before it destroys us all. (Jack and Tobey laugh) Jen: Ha ha ha. Joey: Look, don't come crying to me just 'cause you chose not to think of the consequences of a certain action before you went and performed said action. Jen: Well, excuse me, but I don't think that the punishment fit the crime. Jack: Oh, I think it did. Jen: Well, I think that my revenge on your revenge is imminent, so there. Tobey: What are you guys talking about? Jen: Nothing. Jack: Nothing. Tobey: Oh. Jack: Don't worry about Drue, Jen. You can hang out with Tobey and I all night. We'll help you avoid him. Jen: Great, 'cause I really plan on having fun tonight. Jack: Good. So do I. Jen: Good. So do I. Tobey: So do I. Jack and Jen: Good. Jen: Excuse me. [Dawson's House - Pacey is standing off by himself when Joey approaches.] Joey: Pace? Pacey: Hey. Joey: Wanna help me with my corsage? Pacey: Sure. Yeah. That dress looks fantastic, Joey. You can't even tell where I ripped it. Joey: It wasn't your fault. Pacey: Well... tonight's gonna be good. I promise. Joey: I know. Gale: (from off) Hey, kids, I think the limo's here. Pacey: Ok. That's us. (they gather around and we can hear a car approaching. It sounds like a clunker and even backfires. They finally show this white ugly tank with this scroungy chauffer. Everyone kinda makes a face and pretends to not be upset.) Mitch: Ok. [SCENE_BREAK] [Liquor Store - The gang make a pit stop.] Drue: (walking up to Gretchen with two cases of alcohol) Oh. Hello. Gretchen: How exactly do you plan on purchasing that? Drue: Well, your advanced age is about to come in handy, dear. Gretchen: Oh, sorry, but I don't plan on being responsible for unleashing a drunk Drue onto the prom. Better luck next time. Tobey: (seeing those Hostess pink Snowballs) Ooh. All right, don't think me a total freak for what I'm about to do, but-- (grabbing a package) Jack: Dude, I love those. Tobey: Are you serious? Nobody loves these. Jack: I do. Tobey: You know what this means? Jack: Yeah. We both enjoy somewhat unpopular snack foods. Tobey: No. We got more in common than you think. [Limo - Jen and Pacey sit inside. Jen pulls a tiny bottle of vodka out of her purse and offers some to Pacey.] Pacey: No, thank you. I have to take a breathalyzer later. (Jen laughs) It's part of a ridiculous "tough love" ploy by deputy Doug and my dear old father. Jen: Well, all the much better for me. I've only got 10 left. Pacey: Oh. You wouldn't be drowning your sorrows because of a certain unwanted prom date, would you? Jen: Oh, god, no. Drue's the least of my worries. Pacey: You know what I don't understand? Jen: Hmm? Pacey: How these guys can be so happy and carefree. I mean, who knows what the future holds, but I do know that it doesn't hold what they expect it to. [Liquor Store - Dawson grabs a box of condoms quickly off the rack and starts to move when Joey bumps into him.] Joey: Oh! (Dawson drops the box) Dawson: Hey. Sorry. Joey: (Joey picks up the box and hands it to Dawson.) Here. (As Dawson takes it, she realizes what it is) Oh. Dawson: (shyly) Thanks. Jack: (calling across the store) Guys. We gotta go if we're gonna catch the boat. [Prom Boat - Everyone jumps out of the limo and rushes on board. Later on the boat, Gretchen scans the dance floor with Dawson.] Gretchen: Oh, my god. Dawson: Well, not only am I here with an older woman, but I've got the most beautiful date in the whole room. Gretchen: Well, your charm is a perfect antidote for the complete wave of weirdness that just crashed over me. Dawson: Oh, you know what, if it makes you feel any better, nobody really notices anybody else at these things anyway. They're all so caught up in their own melodramas. Gretchen: It doesn't really make me feel any better. Dawson: Well, in that case, if anybody asks, you can just tell them you're chaperoning. Gretchen: Ok. I don't know whether to hit you or to kiss you for that comment. Dawson: Let's work our way up to the kinky stuff. Jen: Ok, if you keep following me around, you're gonna lose a testicle. Drue: Oh, come on, now, Jenny penny. Jen: Drue, why are you doing this? You can't possibly be enjoying yourself. Drue: No, but Jack offered me 50 bucks to follow you around all night, so I plan on getting paid in full. (kisses Jen on the cheek) I'm gonna go get some punch, honey. [Prom - Jack and Tobey sit at a table talking.] Jack: Yeah, and then there was--there was Ethan. I mean, this guy was so good-looking. You know, he was like-- he was like one of those Disney character versions of a human, you know, like the prince from snow white or something. Tobey: Tell me about it. The first guy to break my heart, he looked just like Ted Danson. (Jack snickers) Is that funny? Jack: Ted Danson, huh? Tobey: Yeah, he's a handsome man. Jack: Yeah, yeah, what is he, like, 50 now? Tobey: Y-y-you know what? I mean a young Ted Danson. Jack: Ok, becker. [Prom - Joey pulls Pacey up a stair case to another level of the boat that isn't as crowded.] Pacey: Hey, where are you taking me? (Joey sits him down and leans down and starts kissing him.) What's that for, Jo? Joey: I don't know. I guess I just got caught up in the moment. And, uh... now that that's out of the way... you can tell me what's going on. Pacey: A prom. Joey: I'm serious. Pacey: Uh, well, look, I absolutely would tell you if something was actually bothering me, but I hate to disappoint you, Jo. There's nothing bothering me. Joey: Come on. Pacey: What? I just told you. Everything's great. So, what's the problem? Joey: Pacey, that is the problem. The "everything's great" is the problem. I mean, ever since you got back from that fishing trip or whatever it was, it's like you've been walking around like the Stepford boyfriend or something. You know, talking about how everything's perfect and that's the problem. Pacey: Ok, fine, look... it's not me, but the way I understand it, this is your time to be happy. All right, Jo? This is your time to be out there and have fun. So I'm just trying to be who you want me to be. Joey: But I don't want you to be anything but yourself. Pacey: Oh, come on, you want the perfect corsage, and you want the perfect limo, and you want the perfect dress, and you want the perfect prom, and you want the perfect boyfriend-- Joey: That is so untrue, Pacey. Did I say anything about the limo or the corsage or anything else? No. 'Cause that stuff doesn't matter to me, Pacey. You know that. Pacey: Well, then why don't you just tell me how you want me to act? 'Cause I can't win with you, Jo. If I act like I'm unhappy, you get angry with me. But if I act like I'm happy, you get angry with me. Joey: Well, maybe you should stop acting and just talk to me. Pacey: Maybe I just don't have anything left to say. (Pacey walks away) [Prom - Jen and Drue are on the top deck. Jen is very drunk.] Jen: (giggling and throwing her arms up) I'm the queen of the world. Drue: Yeah. Wow, are you ever drunk. Jen: And how. Drue: I think you've had enough of that. Now, why don't you give me the bottle? (she gives it to him) That was easy. (she pulls another bottle out of her purse. They both laugh.) You're a riot, you know that? You know, though, if you're not a little more careful with your public intoxication, you're gonna get caught. Jen: Oh, please. Like you don't want me to get caught. Like you don't just live for other people's misery. (she climbs up on the railing.) Drue: Not yours. Jen: (losing her balance a little, Drue reaches for her, but she catches herself.) Whoa! I'm fine. Drue: Jen, seriously, what's the matter? Jen: Drue, seriously, you don't care. Drue: Pretend I do. Why don't you tell me? Jen: Did you know I went to go and visit my dad a few weeks ago? (looking overboard) I wish I could jump in there... and disappear. That'd feel good. Drue: Jen? Jen, maybe this isn't the best idea-- Jen: Drue, go to hell. Drue: Jen, come on. This isn't funny. Jen: (getting mad) Seriously, back off. (she starts laughing) Gotcha. Drue: Yeah. [Prom - Dawson and Gretchen sit at a table laughing. Dawson looks over and see Joey alone walking over towards the bar. Gretchen sees where he's looking.] Gretchen: Maybe you should go over there. See if she's ok. Dawson: Maybe we should go over there. Gretchen: You know what? I think I'm gonna go get some fresh air. But why don't you go talk to her? Dawson: Ok. Gretchen: Ok. (she walks off. Dawson goes to Joey.) Dawson: Where's Pacey? Joey: Uh...I don't know. Dawson: Do you want to talk about it? Joey: Mmm, I don't think so. Dawson: Ok. Joey: And that whole mini-mart thing. I--I don't really want to talk about that either. Dawson: That's fine with me. Joey: How long have you guys been-- Dawson: We haven't... yet. I mean, you know, we might tonight for the first time. Joey: You in love with her? Dawson: All I know is that it just... it just feels right. Joey: You know what? I know that this may sound weird, but if you're gonna cross a milestone in your life... I'm glad it's with Gretchen. Dawson: If not you. Don't worry. That wasn't a question. Joey: I know. Dawson: You know, I think for the longest time, I was just waiting to find somebody I loved as much as I loved you. I realize that's not gonna happen, you know. You were my first love. Joey: I don't think I'll ever love anyone the way that I loved you, either. And that's a good and a bad thing. Dawson: You want to dance? Joey: It's our senior prom. Dawson: Heh heh. Come on. (they walk off towards the dance floor.) [Prom - Gretchen is standing looking over the deck when Pacey approaches. She's sipping out of a bottle, what looks to be a wine cooler.] Pacey: Where did you get that? Gretchen: Some drunk football guy. You want some? Pacey: No. I think I'll pass. You want to tell me what's wrong? 'Cause I know it has to be big if you're drinking that. Gretchen: I'm at the prom, Pacey. I'm at the prom again. I mean, I graduated 4 years ago, and I'm still here. You know, tonight, for the first time... I didn't just feel older than Dawson... I felt old. I mean, too old to be here. Too old to be doing what I'm doing. Pacey: You want pathetic? How's this for pathetic? I'm technically still a junior. I'm not even supposed to be here. Gretchen: A brother who's too young and a sister who's too old. We're quite the lot there, Pacey. Pacey: And you want to know what the worst thing about a prom boat is? You're trapped. Gretchen: Yup. Pacey: You know what? It's the strangest thing, but ever since I got back from that trip with Doug, I've been feeling... really angry. But not angry at myself. It's actually worse than that. I've been feeling really angry at Joey. And I don't know why I'm angry at Joey. And that makes me feel guilty, and then the guiltier that I feel, the angrier I get, and I still don't know what to do about it. Gretchen: Well, maybe if you, um... maybe if you try talking to her, you can start to figure out a reason. Pacey: Uh... I don't really know how to start talking. Gretchen: That's the great thing about being trapped. You gotta try. [Prom - Jack and Tobey are still talking at their table.] Jack: I never knew you were so funny. Tobey: I guess there's a lot about me you didn't know. Jack: I guess so. Heh heh. Tobey: So, do you want to dance? Jack: I thought we were having a good time. Tobey: Right. Jack: Right. So, why do you always have to ruin everything by misinterpreting it? Tobey: Jack, I--I--I just asked you to dance. I didn't ask you to have s*x with me on the table. Jack: It doesn't matter, Tobey. I mean, how many times do I have to tell you that this is strictly platonic before you're gonna believe me? Tobey: You know what? I don't buy that. Nothing that has happened tonight has been platonic. Not from the way we've been laughing or flirting, and certainly not the way you looked at me when you came to pick me up tonight. Jack: You're wrong. Tobey: No... I'm not. Look, I don't know what you're afraid of, but it's not me. And I suggest you figure it out, or risk losing a chance at something really good someday. [Prom - Dance floor. Pacey goes to find Joey and he sees her dancing with Dawson, laughing and having a good time. Gretchen joins him and also gets a serious look on her face. Joey finally notices Pacey and she stops dancing. She gets a serious look on her face and Dawson looks over his shoulder and see them approaching.] Pacey: What's going on? Joey: Pacey, we were just dancing. Pacey: Yeah, that's what it looked like to me, just dancing. Joey: Oh, come on. This isn't about Dawson, and you know it. Pacey, why don't you just tell me what is going on? Pacey: You know what I actually realized when I saw the two of you dancing there together? That is the happiest I have seen you all night. I mean, I think it's actually the happiest I've seen you in weeks. You want to know what's worse than that? I don't care. I saw the two of you dancing together, and I just don't care. I'm not angry. I'm not jealous. I'm not upset. I'm really not much of anything. Joey: Pacey, fine. Let's just take this nothing outside. Pacey: Why--why because you want to clean up my mess again? No. You wanted me to take off the happy mask, and the happy mask is off. So answer me this one question because this is what I've been wanting to ask you, Jo. Why are you with me? Joey: Pacey. Pacey: Why are you with me? Because I don't know why I'm still with you. I mean, I used to know, but I don't anymore. Joey: I'll make a note of that. Pacey: What I do know, Jo, I feel like I'm Josephine potter's little charity project. I feel like I'm the designated loser, the fail (Dawson starts to move in) --just back off! Joey: Pacey, I never said that, but this isn't about me. This is about you. Pacey: No, it is about you! It's about you and how you make me feel when I'm with you! Ok? I feel like I'm stupid and I'm worthless and I'm never right. But you know what I realize? That it's not my fault! That it's not my fault. Because I'm with you, it's poor Pacey. He didn't get into college, and it's stupid Pacey forgot the limo and ripped the dress and messed up the corsage. Joey: I told you I didn't care about any of that. Pacey: But I want you to care! I want you to care! I don't want you to just accept it like that's the way it's supposed to be. We are not trapped on this boat. You and I are trapped in this relationship. I can't take it anymore, Joey. When I'm with you, I feel like I'm nothing. I feel like I'm nothing. That's why I flinch when you come to touch me. It's why I never touch you. Why I never even think about it. Because when I start to, it just reminds me that I'm not good enough. Joey: You done? Pacey: Done? Oh, no, I'm not done. I am just getting started. Joey: Well, you can stop right now. You can go to hell. (Joey walks out and Dawson follows her.) [Prom - Jen and Drue are still out on the railing.] Drue: Jen, just come on down, and we'll get you a great big bottle of tequila. What do you say? Yeah. Jen, you know how cold this water is? We're talking about snot icicles dripping from your nose, ok? Come on. Jen: I said no, Drue. (she loses her balance and starts to fall completely off the boat. Drue catches her handing body and pulls her back over onto the deck. Jen immediately gets up and leans over the railing to throw up.) [Prom - upper deck. Joey is crying. Dawson walks up behind her and covers her shoulders with his coat.] Joey: He humiliates me in a room full of people, and it's not even true. It's not who I am. Dawson: I know. Joey: I mean, I don't understand why he would say all that because that's not who I am. Dawson: I know. Joey: I just want to go home. (she leans against Dawson and continues to cry.) [Prom - Deck. Drue and Jen sit on the floor.] Drue: You've become a lightweight. You gotta get back to New York. It can toughen you up again. Jen: What if I told you I don't want to go back to New York? That I hate New York. I don't know. I just-- I feel like I've--I've changed, and I've just been too afraid to admit it, and I've been pushing myself so hard this year to toughen up so that I can go back to school there next year, but, um, I don't-- I don't think I really want to. God, you think I'm weak, don't you? Drue: You know what I think? I think you should never go backwards when you can go forwards. Anyway, Jen... you're pretty damn strong. Besides, you know... I was kind of thinking you should look into Boston. It's a real up-and-coming town, the spot to be in, in fact, and, you know, yours truly's going to be there. So right there, you know-- Jen: Strike one for Boston. Drue: Yeah. [Prom - Deck. Tobey is standing out on the deck when Jack sees him through the door. He goes out to join him.] Jack: Hey. Whatcha doing? Tobey: Contemplating swimming for shore. Jack: I don't blame you. Look, Tobey, I'm sorry about earlier... what I said. What I didn't say. The feelings that I've been having for you are so much more than platonic, and they took me by surprise, and I was afraid. The thing is when we first met, you were just so-- Tobey: Just say it. I was so gay. Jack: No. No, you were so out, you know, and so ok with it, and I--I admit I was put off by it. That's all I could see, but tonight, I looked at you, and I really looked at you, and you're--you're funny, and you're handsome and nice and, yes, out. But now it's like the one thing that put me off is just one more thing that I like about you. I'm so not afraid anymore. (Jack leans over and kisses Tobey, a sweet long kiss.) Tobey: (smiling) How about that dance? (Jack smiles) [Prom - deck. Dawson walks over to where Gretchen is standing looking out at the water.] Dawson: Hey. Gretchen: Hey. How's Joey doing? Dawson: Not so good. I'm sorry I took off back there. Gretchen: Dawson, you don't need to explain. And it doesn't matter anyway because I know what I have to do. I've got to go on with my life. Go back to college, figure out who I am and what I want. This is not my place, not here and not with you. You're still chasing after Joey, I mean, literally and metaphorically. Dawson: You--you told me to go to her. I thought you understood about our friendship. Gretchen: I do. I do, and watching you chase her, it just made everything more clear. I mean, Dawson, there are so many loose ends, so much that the two of you haven't resolved... and as much as you think you're beyond the drama of high school and the prom, you're a part of it. You're smack in the middle of it and that's right where you should be. You're a senior in high school... and I'm not. Dawson: Right, but that doesn't mean that this--us has to be over. Gretchen, I'm not ready for this to be over yet. Gretchen: What we have is an impossible situation. Dawson: I'm good at impossible situations. Gretchen: I'm not. I'm just not. I'm sorry. (she kisses him and walks away) [Prom - deck. Joey sits at a table alone. Pacey walks over and sits next to her. She doesn't look at him.] Pacey: You know... last year... I felt like I could give you something that no one else could give you. I could give you that wall to paint your mural on. I could take you away on a sailboat for a summer. I could even give you that night in the ski lodge. But I don't feel like I have anything left to give you now, Jo. I guess I'm spent. I've become a man who hates himself so much he can't even look at his own reflection in the mirror, and I wish that I could tell you that being with you doesn't make that worse, but it does... because the more that you love me in spite of that, the angrier that I get at you... and the more that I stop loving you back. Joey: How long have you felt this way? Pacey: I don't know, but I know it's not right, and I know that, that my failures and my shortcomings don't really have anything to do with you, but I-- I also know that if we stay together I am going to continue to take them out on you. Joey: You know, I've got news for you, Pacey, how you treat me is actually totally in your power. Pacey: You know... our senior year is over now, and you and I are just 2 very different people on 2 very different paths, and for us this summer there is no boat, and there is no sunset. There is just Boston and Capeside. Joey: But, Pacey, they're less than an hour apart. Pacey: And are more than a world apart, and you know it. You've spent your entire life trying to get out of Capeside, Joey, because you felt like you deserved better. Well, I am Capeside. That's why I didn't get out and you did, and you do deserve better. You deserve better than this place, and you deserve better than me. Joey: You break my heart into a thousand pieces, and you say it's because I deserve better? Just... leave me alone. Pacey: Ok. (he gets up and walks away.) [Limo - everyone is sitting quietly in the limo. Dawson and Gretchen on completely different sides of the seat. Pacey and Joey on completely different sides of the limo. Jen is passed out, leaning her head against Drue. Tobey and Jack acknowledge the silence and keep quiet.] Driver: You kids want to go to that after party? (Joey, who sits in the front seat next to him, shakes her head no.)	Plan: A: the year's senior prom; Q: What is everyone getting ready for? A: Gretchen; Q: Who questions her relationship with Dawson? A: her life; Q: What does Gretchen reflect on as she gets ready for the prom? A: Joey; Q: Who worries about Pacey? A: once unspoken issues; Q: What do Joey and Pacey confront? A: The festivities; Q: What causes conflict for Gretchen? A: conflict; Q: What does the senior prom cause for Gretchen? A: an unhappy Jen; Q: Who is rescued by Drue? A: Drue; Q: Who rescues Jen after she and Jack meddle in each other's lives? A: dates; Q: What do Jen and Jack arrange for each other? A: a screaming row; Q: What caused Joey and Pacey to break up? Summary: As everyone gets ready for the year's senior prom, some bad news causes Gretchen to reflect on her life. Joey worries about Pacey and they confront once unspoken issues. The festivities cause conflict for Gretchen, as she questions her relationship with Dawson, while an unhappy Jen is rescued by unlikely hero Drue after she and Jack meddle in each other's lives and arrange dates for each other. Joey and Pacey have a screaming row at the prom and break up.
[Scene: Halliwell house. Phoebe is sitting on the furniture meditating trying to call a premonition. Prue and Piper are running around looking for stuff.] Piper: Prue, have you seen my purse? Prue: In the kitchen. Have you seen my keys? Piper: They're by the T.V. I can't find my plane ticket. Did I give it to you? Prue: Maybe you packed it. Piper: I didn't just pack it, I just saw it. (Phoebe holds Piper's plane ticket and tries to have a premonition. It works.) Phoebe: I can't believe it. Prue: Found it. (She snatches Piper's plane ticket off Phoebe.) Piper: Thank God. Didn't you hear me looking for this? What are you doing on the furniture? Phoebe: No, you don't understand. I've been practicing how to call a premonition and I did it. I saw a future event. Oh, and that's the good news, the bad news is I saw you missing your flight. Piper: Oh, great. If I don't get to Honolulu for the convention, my boss will fire me. Prue: Well, we can't let that happen especially since my job is hanging by a thread as it is. Phoebe: Since when? Prue: Oh, since all the demon hunting time off I've been taking lately. Piper: I am so behind. I didn't go shopping, or pay the bills, or call the cable guy, or cancel my hair appointment. Phoebe: Don't worry, sweetie, I'll do it. Piper: You sure? Prue: Yeah, I mean, you've got time right? Okay, so listen, we have stopped Phoebe's premonitions from coming true before, hopefully we can do it again. Let's go. Piper: Okay, but wait, whoa, whoa! I just realised the two of you haven't really ever been alone together. Phoebe: Piper, we're big girls now. I don't think we need you as a buffer anymore. Piper: Alright, what about demon stuff, what if something happens and you need the power of three. Prue: Well, then the power of two will just have to do. Phoebe: Good one. Prue: Alright, let's go. Um, hey Phoebe, will you pick up my dry cleaning on the way back from the market please. Piper: And talk to the gardeners about the weeds. Prue: Oh, and light bulbs, we need light bulbs. Phoebe: Sure, I'll just add it to my list. Piper: Great, thanks, bye. Prue: Go, go, go. (They leave.) Phoebe: I'm not even married and already I'm a house wife. (The phone rings.) Hello. Hey, Mary-Anne. Oh, geez, I completely forgot about Alcatraz. I can't go, I have a million errands to run. You know, I, I'll be right over. (She scrunches up the list and throws it away.) [Scene: Alcatraz.] Soul collector: You don't seriously plan on spending the rest of eternity around here do you? Jackson: I'll find a way off this rock on my own, don't worry. Soul collector: Who are you kidding, Jackson? You've been stuck here ever since they executed you. Thirty-six years trapped between life and death. Jackson: Big deal. I've learned how to do things in that time. Break the physical plane. Prepare for my revenge. Soul collector: Revenge. How mortal. Jackson: Go to hell. Soul collector: That's what I do. Only never alone. I ferry souls there. Everyone I can get my little hands on so to speak. Jackson: Yeah, well, you're not going to get your little hands on this one lady so just forget it. Soul collector: Don't worry Jackson, I don't want your soul. I want a witch's. They're prize catches. Trophies. Jackson: So what's that got to do with me? Soul collector: If you let me get you off the island, get your revenge, witches will try to stop you. And the only way to do that is to become vulnerable to me. Then I'll have them right where I want them. Speaking of witches ... (A group of people including Phoebe are coming.) Tour Guide: Twenty-eight inmates died here, nine by attempting to escape, four by execution. Legend has it, that one of them still haunts this prison to this very day. The ghost of Alcatraz. Believed to reside in this very cell. Man: The ghost ... oh, geez. (He laughs.) Tour Guide: Let's see if his in shall we? (He opens the cell and goes inside and closes the door.) Now if you listen closely, you can actually hear the ghost cries. Shh. There. Here him? Jackson: What an idiot. Ghost: Look at him as you get off jail free card. (She does something and the tour guide drops dead.) Mary-Anne: Oh my God. Pheobe: Mary-Anne call 911, quick! What did you do? Who are you? Jackson: You can see me? Soul collector: Forget her now. There's your ride off the island. Hop in. Phoebe: Oh, no. No! (Jackson goes in the tour guide.) Soul collector: Hope you enjoy the tour. See ya. Opening Credits [Scene: Bucklands.] Claire: In all honesty, Prue, if it weren't for you, I'm not sure the auction house would of been able to stay above bankruptcy. Prue: Thank you. Claire: No, don't thank me yet. I've tolerated your unexplained absences and the endless family emergencies but no more. Buyers interested in purchasing Bucklands will be visiting in the next two days and it's important that we make a big impression. It's important that you make a big impression if you expect to keep your job. Do I make myself clear? Prue: Perfectly. (Monique opens the door.) Monique: I'm sorry, Prue, but your sister's on the phone. Prue: Ah, I'll call her back. Monique: She says it's an emergency. (Prue gets the phone.) Phoebe: Hey, have you ever heard of the ghost of Alcatraz? Prue: Are you kidding? This is why you pulled me out of a meeting? Phoebe: No, Prue, you don't understand. I think the ghost really exists. Prue: Did you see it? Phoebe: Ah, of course not, I mean how could I? I wasn't at Alcatraz. I had way too much work around here to do. Prue: So, then what makes you think there was a ghost? Phoebe: Uh, my friend saw it. Mary-Anne. You know Mary-Anne. Actually, she thinks she saw two ghosts or the other one may be something else. She's not really sure. Prue: Phoebe. Phoebe: What? Witches aren't the only people that can see ghosts. Normal people can too. Anyway, I did some research and found out that some evil spirits need a dead body to transport them across water. (Claire impatiently stands at the doorway.) Prue: Okay, look, I am really sorry that the furnace exploded but you are just gonna have to handle it on your own. Okay? Phoebe: Okay, Prue, if this ghost is on the mainland ... Prue: (Quietly and quickly) Don't forget to buy tampons at the market. (She hangs up.) Phoebe: Hello? Prue: (to Claire) Just, uh, ... (she makes an exploding noise) Singed eyebrows. [Scene: Police station.] Morris: Did you take some of the old case files home by any chance, Andy? Andy: No, why? Morris: We're missing a couple. Hope the captain's already been in them. You wanna talk about it? Andy: Talk about what? Morris: About why you've been walking around here like a zombie lately. Like, ever since you ran into Prue again. Come on, what's up? Andy: I wish I could tell you, I really do. I just have to work things out on my own first. Inspector Blakely: Okay, you guys are the experts on the freaky cases, figure this one out. A victim was stabbed thirteen times in the chest. Circular pattern. CSI combed the scene and other than the knife, found no evidence. Check this out. (She shows the a photo of the knife.) Andy: Solid thumbprint. Inspector Blakely: Yeah, but we didn't get it from dusting. We got it from florascoping. Morris: Ultra violet fingerprint. Never heard of that. Inspector Blakely: We ran the print. This is where it gets freaky. It matches up to Jackson Ward, the serial killer that was executed in Alcatraz thirty-six years ago. Andy: Are you sure about this? Inspector Blakely: Checked it twice. Morris: Dead guy's print on a murder weapon. It's gotta be a mistake. Andy: Can I borrow this? Inspector Blakely: Whoa, where you going? [Scene: Halliwell house.] Prue: Phoebe, I'm home. (She sees all the dirty dishes still in the sink and looks in the fridge. It's empty.) Phoebe, you didn't go to the market yet? Phoebe: Uh, no, I sort of got side tracked with this ghost research. Besides, there isn't enough money in the house hold account. Prue: Well, you should of told me and I would of got some transferred in. What about the dry cleaning? Phoebe: I will do it tomorrow, I swear. Prue: I wanted to wear that suit to work tomorrow. Phoebe: Look, I know that I promised but this just seemed more important. We're not gonna get into a fight already are we? I mean, I wouldn't want to prove Piper right. (The doorbell rings. Prue answers it.) Prue: Andy, hi. Andy: Hi. Prue: I was wondering whether I'd see you again. I thought you might be mad at me. Andy: No, I just needed some space. It's one thing suspect what your secret was, it's another thing to actually see it with my own eyes. Prue: So does that mean that you're okay with it? Andy: Actually, I'm here on a case, a kind of case where frankly before, I probably would've been looking for a more logical explanation. Prue: Well, come on in. (They go inside.) What's the case? Andy: The son of a former D.A. was brutally murdered. The only quote on quote evidence points to the last man executed on Alcatraz before it was closed down. Phoebe: Jackson Ward. Andy: How did you know that? Prue: Yeah, how did you know that? Phoebe: I told you, I was trying to figure out who the ghost of Alcatraz was, remember? Jackson Ward was at the top of the list. Andy: Ghost? Phoebe: Yeah. Hey, what's that? (She points to the picture of the knife.) Andy: Ultra violet finger print. Although technically there's no such thing. Phoebe: Could be the ghosts ectoplasm. It's outside the visual spectrum. Book of Shadows. Andy: Ectoplasm. Phoebe: Yeah. It's the ghosts skin. Hey, do you have a picture of this Ward guy? (He shows her the picture.) Yep, that's him. Exactly how Mary-Anne described him to be. Amazing. Prue: (a little suspicious) Very. Phoebe: And what about this former D.A. son. Did Ward know him? Andy: Ward knew his father. He's the prosecutor that convicted him. Phoebe: Coincidence? I think not. It's got to be the ghost that got off Alcatraz. Prue: You know, speaking of coincidence's. Don't you think it's an awfully big one that your friend saw this ghost? Phoebe: Prue, if we've learned anything by now, it's that there aren't any coincidences, right? Prue: Right. (Andy's staring out the window.) Andy, are you alright? Andy: I don't know. Just getting used to the idea of demons and witches. I don't know if I'm ready for ghosts too. Phoebe: You ain't seen nothing yet. Prue: Pheebs. Andy: But if you're right, if it is the ghost of Jackson Ward that is the killer, how do I stop him from killing again? [Scene: Court house. Judge Renault's office. Jackson walks through the door. He turns off the light and Judge Renault turns on his desk lamp.] Jackson: Judge Renault. Long time, no see. You could of shown me some mercy giving me life in prison. You wanted me put to death. (Jackson picks up the name plate.) Judge: What's going on? Who's there? (Jackson pulls his tie so it chokes him.) Jackson: Do you have any idea how long it takes, how much you suffer, what a cruel life of immoral damage? (He gets a letter opener and stabs the judge. The woman ghost appears.) Soul collector: I helped you get your revenge. Now it's your turn to help me get a witch. Jackson: Are you kidding lady? I'm just getting started. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Judge Renault's office. All the police are there.] Morris: Thirteen stabs in a circular pattern just like the other victim. Andy: Matches Jackson's M.O. too. Morris: Must be a complicated killer. Andy: I wouldn't know, the M.O. was never released to the public. Can I see that? (the letter opener) CSI detective: I've already dusted for prints and nothing. Andy: Did you florascope it? CSI detective: What? (Andy gets a florascoper, holds it above the letter opener and the ultra violet finger print shows up.) What the hell is that? Andy: Don't ask. (to Morris) Ten bucks says it matches Ward's. Morris: Don't go jumping off the deep end on me okay. Jackson Ward is dead. Been like that a long way now. Andy: Well, someone's going around killing people or the descendants people that put him away. Morris: Where you going? Andy: Look, have someone put together a list of potential victims or anyone that had to do with his conviction. Morris: Andy, wait! [Scene: Bucklands. The clients are there waiting. They look at their watches.] Claire: I'm sure Prue will be here shortly. She has a lot of family emergencies. (Prue enters the room.) Prue: Oh, Claire, I am so sorry. Claire: Prue, let me introduce you. This is Mr. Yakihama, head of requisitions, Mr Yakihama this is Prue Halliwell, one of our top specialists. Prue: Hi. Nice to meet you sir. Mr Yakihama: Nice to meet you too. I trust that everything is alright with your family. (Monique enters with Andy behind her.) Monique: Excuse me, Prue. Prue: Not now, Monique. Claire: May I help you? Andy: Yeah, I need to see Miss Halliwell. Police business. Prue: Excuse me. (They walk outside the room.) Are you trying to get me fired? Andy: I think Jackson Ward is killing again, Prue. Prue: Great. Just great. You wait here a second. I'll take care of everything. (She walks back in the room.) Hi. [Scene: Halliwell house. Phoebe's in the attic looking through the Book of Shadows.] Prue: (from downstairs) Phoebe? Phoebe: Yeah, I'm in the attic. (Prue enters with Andy behind her.) Andy: I always wondered what was up here. Phoebe: Prue, the Book of Shad-a-ba-bows. (She tries to hide it.) Prue: No, no, no. It's okay, I already told him about it. Look, Jackson Ward has killed again, we have to figure out a way to stop them. Have you found anything? Phoebe: Not really, I mean, there is so many references in here. There's ghosts, poltergeists, evil spirits, phantasms. We are not dealing with a typical demon. Prue: Yeah, well, there has to be something in here about vanquishing an evil spirit. Phoebe: Well, actually there is one spell but I don't think we're gonna want to use it. Prue: Why not? I mean, if it needs the power of three we an always call Piper, right? Phoebe: No, that's not the problem. The problem is an evil spirit can't be vanquished on the physical plane. Only the astral plane . His plane. Prue: Okay, so then how do we say the spell? Phoebe: Our spirits would have to say it. Meaning one of us would have to die for it to work. Prue: Keep looking. Phoebe: Right. Andy: I always believed there was a world behind or beyond this one, you can sort of believe in demons. But I would never in my wildest dreams, I would of never imagined that this existed. Prue: Yeah, neither did we. But we've come to believe that there's a reason why that world opened up to us. Which means there's probably a good reason why it opened up to you. Phoebe: Welcome, to our little shop of horrors. (The Book of Shadows starts flipping pages.) Andy: Are you doing that? Prue: No, it just sometimes does it on its own. (It opens up to the truth spell. Andy looks at it.) Andy: The truth spell? Phoebe: That's weird that it would opened up to that page with Andy standing right here. Prue: There has to be a mistake. (She turns the pages.) Phoebe: Or maybe there's a reason, Prue. (She turns the pages back to the truth spell.) [They are now going down the stairs.] Andy: You did what last year? Prue: Look, I just wanted to see how you would react to finding out I was a witch. Andy: So you cast a truth spell on me. Why didn't you just ask? Prue: Oh, because I was afraid you'd freak out on me. Which is exactly what you did by the way you just don't remember. Andy: Wait a minute. My reaction to you being a witch isn't the reason why we stopped seeing each other is it? Prue: You're the one who wanted to stop seeing me first. Andy: Because you wouldn't tell me what your secret was. Prue: Yeah, which turned out to be a good thing considering how you reacted. Andy: Freaked out. Prue: Exactly. Kinda like what you're doing right now. Andy: You haven't answered my question. Did that have anything to do with why we stopped seeing each other? Prue: Sorta. Okay, yeah it did. Andy: And just out of curiosity. How much time did you give me to react anyway? Prue: A minute ... or two. Andy: A minute?! Prue: Or two, it, it was a twenty-four hour spell alright, I was against the clock. Andy: And that's what you based your entire decision about us on? Prue, I've had a week to react to you this time. Is still don't know how I feel. You should of given me more time, I think I deserve that, I think we deserve that. (Phoebe comes down the stairs.) Phoebe: Hey, you guys, since we don't know how to vanquish the ghost we have to stop him from killing his next ... am I interrupting something? Andy: No, we're done. What do you mean stop him killing his next victim? How do we do that? Phoebe: I have a power too, you know. [Scene: Police station.] Andy: Excuse me. Inspector Andrew Trudeau. I need the murder weapon for case R13658. Officer: Sign that. I'll got get it. (He gets it.) Andy: Thanks. (He leaves. The officer calls someone on the phone.) Officer: Yeah, you told me to call if Trudeau showed. Yeah, he just left. [Cut to office.] Andy: Get the list of potential victims yet? Morris: Still working on it. It's a lot of names. Especially when you add in the descendants. Where you been? Andy: You don't wanna know. Morris: Really? Try me. Andy: Maybe later okay. I'll take what you got so far, I'll check back later. Morris: We're partners, Andy. That means we work together. Andy: I know. This is an exception. (He leaves.) Inspector Rodriguez: Inspector Morris. Inspector Rodriguez and Anderson, internal affairs. We need to talk to you about your partner. [Cut to the car. Andy gets in.] Andy: Okay, I got it. That's what Ward used to kill the judge. (He hands Phoebe the letter opener.) How exactly is this goind to work again? Phoebe: Well, I've been practicing calling my power and if the psychic energy is strong enough on this. I should be able to see a future event. Prue: Hopefully Jackson Ward's next victim. Phoebe: Hopefully. It doesn't always work. (She holds the letter opener and has a premonition.) Oh my God. Prue: Are you alright? Phoebe: I uh, I didn't just see it Prue, I felt it, her pain, her terror. Andy: Anyone of these look familiar? (He hands her some pictures. She looks through them and picks one out.) Iris Beiderman. The fourth person on the jury that convicted him. [Scene: Iris Beiderman's place. Jackson is just about to stab her when Andy kicks open the door. Phoebe kicks the knife out of Jackson's hand.] Jackson: You again. Prue: You again? What you two have met? Andy: Where is he? Is he still here? Prue: Yeah, he's right there. Point him out Prue. Jackson: You can't keep saving her forever. Andy: Prue, what's going on? Jackson: Or the others. Or yourselves. Andy: Prue. (Jackson leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Halliwell house.] Prue: I can not believe you lied to me and I can not believe I had to hear about it from a ghost. Phoebe: I already apologised for that okay. Prue: I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me the truth, especially about something as stupid as going to Alcatraz. Phoebe: I didn't tell you the truth because I knew you'd go ballistic and I thought I'd save myself the drama. Prue: Why would I go ballistic over that? Phoebe: Come on, Prue, give me a break. Just admit it. Why are you really mad at me? Prue: Because you lied to me. Phoebe: No. You're really mad at me because as far as your concerned I was slacking off yesterday. Which is pretty much what I do everyday, right? Prue: Where is this coming from? Phoebe: It's coming from the fact that I know you're really pissed because I didn't do the grocery shopping or pick up your dry cleaning, or whatever else that you put on that stupid list. Prue: I am sorry that I asked you to do things around the house because I have to work. Phoebe: See? Time it ladies and gentlemen it took a whole sixty seconds before the 'W' word reared its ugly head. Prue: What are you talking about? Phoebe: I'm talking about how you and Piper just automatically assume that I'll take care of the house because I don't have a real job. Prue: Now that's not true. Phoebe: Oh no? Prue, when was the last time you went grocery shopping, or vacuumed the house, or waited for the cable guy to show up, which by the way if I were paid by the hour I'd be a millionaire by now. Prue: I can not believe how you're turning this around. Phoebe: I can not believe you're pretending that you don't have a problem. Prue: I don't. Phoebe: Okay, well, you know what? You just proved my point ... my other point which is I get absolutely no credit for all that I do around here. It's just assumed that I'll do it. Like that crack that you made to Piper yesterday morning. "Don't worry Piper, Phoebe'll do it she's got time." Prue: You do. Phoebe: Yes, and that's exactly my point my main point. You are mad at me because I don't work. Prue: Okay, maybe you're right. Phoebe: And that's why I lied. (The phone rings.) Hello. Piper: Hey, Phoebe, how's it going? Phoebe: Hey, Piper, how's Hawaii? Piper: I don't know, I haven't stopped working since I got off the plane. Phoebe: Sure, rub it in. Piper: Excuse me? Phoebe: Nothing. Hey, can I call you back? I'm sort of in the middle of something right now. Piper: Sure, I just wanted to make sure you guys were alright. Do you miss me? Phoebe: More than you know, sweetie. Piper: Good. I love you. Phoebe: I love you too. Piper: Bye. Phoebe: Bye. (She hangs up.) Prue: Why didn't you tell her about Jackson Ward? Phoebe: Why worry her? The power of three can't vanquish him. It's up to us. Prue: Look, Phoebe, obviously we have some issues to deal with and they're not gonna be resolved over night. So, in the mean time we need to figure out a way to stop Jackson Ward before he hurts anymore innocent people, okay? Phoebe: I agree. Prue: So, did we actually just reach a compromise? (Phoebe rolls her eyes.) [Scene: Police station.] Andy: We're gonna put you up in a hotel for a while Mrs. Beiderman on a police protection. At least until we catch who was trying to hurt you. Mrs. Beiderman: I'm not crazy am I? You saw it too didn't you? Andy: Yeah, I did. Let's just keep it our little secret for now, okay? Morris: Who was that? Andy: Someone who got attacked. Morris: Attacked? By who? Why? (He sees the sheet of paper with Iris Beiderman's information on it.) Iris Beiderman. Jury four person who helped convict Ward. Now how about that. Andy: Look, Morris. Morris: Don't 'look Morris' me man. You go flying out of here with that file and you just happened to come back with somebody in that file that just happened to be attacked. Tell me what's going on. Andy: I told you I can't. I'm sorry. Morris: Well, fine, whatever, it's your funeral. Andy: What's that suppose to mean? Morris: He told me not to say anything to you. Andy: Who did? Morris: Internal Affairs. They got you in their crosshairs. Interviewed me for over two hours. Wouldn't tell me what it's about. Asked a lot of questions about you. Watch your back, bro. [Scene: Halliwell house. Phoebe and Prue are looking through the Book of Shadows.] Phoebe: It's the same story. One of us would have to literally die on order to vanquish the evil spirit. Any volunteers? Prue: Actually maybe. But before that we need to figure out a way to find Ward first. I mean, we can't count on you saying it's his next victim even though Andy left us the letter opener to try. Phoebe: Wait a minute. I think that there's something in here about luring evil spirits. A potion. (She finds the page.) To lure an evil spirit. Mix equal parts of mercury and acid with the blood of one of the spirit's victims, pour it over his grave. Okay, that's disgusting. Prue: Yeah, alright, we can get the blood from the letter opener but how are we gonna find Ward's grave? Phoebe: You know what? I read on the web, his ashes were interred at his family mausoleum in Palo Alto. Prue: Right, just might work. Phoebe: Yeah, if it does work, he'll be coming after us. [Scene: Cemetery.] Prue: Oh, I hate cemetery's at night. Phoebe: I hate cemetery's at day. (They hear a noise.) What was that? Prue: Ah, probably a zombie or vampire. Phoebe: Great, where's Buffy when you need her? Prue: Okay, perfect, there it is, Jackson Ward. Do you have the picture? (Prue looks at the picture and Phoebe's written on it.) Hey, Jackson, let's party? Phoebe: Okay, well, I couldn't think of anything else to write. Can we just do this and hurry? Prue: Okay. (Prue throws the potion on and the plaque starts to melt.) Okay, okay, alright, let's go. [Cut to Jackson. He's in pain. He looks at his chest and it looks as if his skin is melting. The soul collector appears.] Jackson: What's happening? Soul collector: Witchcraft. Sucks doesn't it? You should've helped me get to them before when I asked. Jackson: How do I get to them now? Soul collector: Visit your grave. [Scene: Police station. Andy is at his desk. He's getting Prue's file and puts it in his bag. He goes outside and rings their house. The answering machine is on.] Andy: Prue, it's Andy. I gotta give you something and you gotta get it outta there. I'll explain when I get there. (The two I.A. guys show up.) Inspector Rodriguez: Inspector Trudeau. Internal Affairs. Let's talk. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Internal Affairs and Andy are in the office.] Inspector Rodriguez: Series of women murdered with an occult knife, prime suspect missing. Series of victims with curious holes burned in their foreheads, prime suspect missing. Victims found in a locked room with every bone in their body broken. Victims literally scared to death. The list goes on and on. You know what they all have in common? Andy: We've been through this already. Inspector Rodriguez: They're all unsolved cases, Trudeau. They're all yours and Morris'. Andy: We've solved plenty of other cases. Inspector Anderson: But you haven't solved these. Inspector Rodriguez: So the question is why? What are you hiding? Andy: I'm not hiding anything. (They show him a picture of him getting the letter opener.) You guys spy on your wives too. Inspector Rodriguez: Why'd you check the murder weapon out, Inspector? Andy: I was following a hunch. Inspector Rodriguez: Really? Or were you following a ghost? Word's out Trudeau. You specialise in the ... what did Inspector Blakely call it? Inspector Anderson: The freaky cases. Inspector Rodriguez: The freaky cases. You're a good cop. I've seen your jacket. Up until last year you were headed for captain. Now you got all these weird unsolved cases. What happened to you, man? What changed? Are covering for someone, is that it? Morris maybe? Andy: Don't hang this on Morris. Inspector Rodriguez: Then who do we hang it on? Andy: Look, I told you my story, you don't believe me you take my hard wear right now and you charge me. Otherwise, drop dead. (He storms out the room.) [Scene: Halliwell house. Prue's making a potion.] Phoebe: Maybe it didn't work, maybe he's not coming. Prue: Well, at least if he is coming, we are definitely ready for him. Phoebe: What exactly is that? Prue: One killer cocktail. Literally. Little bit of oleander, St Jensen weed, bloodwort, among with other things. Stops the heart immediately. Phoebe: Okay, now you're scaring me. Where did you learn to do that? Prue: Book of Shadows. Phoebe: Where? Under Dr. Kavorkian? Prue: Whoever takes it can be revived by C.P.R. The only catch is it has to be done within four minutes to avoid brain damage. Phoebe: Okay, Prue, that's a pretty big catch. Prue: Yeah, well, it's the only way to say the spell. It's the only chance we have of setting Ward where he belongs. Phoebe: But who does it? How do we decide that? Prue: I'll do it. Phoebe: No. (She gets a coin.) Call it heads or tails and no fair using your power. Prue: Tails. (The coin lands on tails.) I win. Phoebe: You mean you lose. Prue: Oh, well, only if you don't revive me. Phoebe: No pressure. Prue: Phoebe, I have total confidence in you. Phoebe: I'm scared Prue. I mean, I'm really scared. I think we've gone too far this time. Prue: We're doing what we have to do. Phoebe: I wish Piper were here. The swing vote, the voice of reason. Prue: Phoebe, I never realised how much I probably do take you for granted and not just for what you do around the house either. Phoebe: You're just saying that 'cause you're about to die. Prue: No, you were right about last night, I was upset because I thought you were slacking off but the truth is you weren't. You were trying to find out who the ghost was and thank God you did. Phoebe: Yeah, but I totally over reacted. I mean, I'm the one that's upset with myself for not working for a living. Prue: You do work. Phoebe: I know Prue, I work around the house, but I want a job, a real job. Prue: And you will find one. When you're ready. Phoebe: I can't remember the last time we talked liked this. (They hug. The phone rings.) Claire: Prue, it's Claire, you're late, you're fired. (Jackson walks through the wall and smashes something. He throws it.) Prue: Phoebe, duck! Phoebe: Okay, Prue, I got him, you just hurry. (Prue drinks the cocktail while Phoebe fights Jackson. Jackson hits Phoebe over the head and is knocked unconscious. Prue collapses to the floor.) Jackson: You're making this too easy, lady. (He gets a metal cake server. Prue's spirit floats out of her body.) What the hell's going on? Prue: Ashes to ashes, spirit to spirit, take his soul, banish this evil. Jackson: No! [Cut to the door.] Andy: Prue, you home? (He sees Phoebe lying on the floor.) Prue: Ashes to ashes, spirit to spirit, take his soul, banish this evil. (Jackson starts fading away.) Jackson: No! No! (Andy goes in the kitchen.) Andy: Prue! (He starts giving her C.P.R.) Prue: Andy, don't. Not yet. Jackson: It's even better, I get to kill a cop too. Prue: Andy, behind you. (Andy looks behind him and grabs the cake server.) Ashes to ashes, spirit to spirit, take his soul, banish this evil. (Jackson yells and disappears. The soul collector appears.) Who are you? Soul collector: I was hoping to take you or your sister. But it looks like you soul is safe. For now. (She disappears. Andy is still doing C.P.R. Prue's spirit enters back in her body. She wakes up.) Andy: Slow breaths. Prue: Am I alive? Andy: Yeah, you are. Thank God. (Phoebe wakes up.) Phoebe: What happened? Is the ghost toast? [Scene: Bucklands.] Claire: I'm sorry, Prue, but I've made up my mind. Prue: Claire, you can not fire me. I love this job, I need this job. Claire: I told you I wouldn't tolerate anymore unexplained absences. (Andy barges in.) Andy: Excuse me Miss Price, I'm sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to stop by and say thank you. Claire: Thank you, Inspector? Andy: For letting me borrow Miss Halliwell. See, an Asian gang went smuggling exotic jewellery and antiques. She helped us set up a sting plus the operation. Claire: Really? Prue never mentioned any of this before. Andy: Well, she couldn't compromise her cover. You welcome to call my superior Inspector Morris and file for a reimbursement claim if you like. Claire: No, that won't be necessary. Andy: (to Prue) As soon as you're done here we need to talk. Prue: I think I'm more than done here. (They walk towards the door.) Claire: Oh, ah, Prue. Don't forget our lunch with the investor's. Wouldn't want you to be late. Prue: I won't be. Thanks. (They go into Prue's office.) I can not believe you did that. Andy: It's the least I can do. After all, you did help us bust someone. Sure, he was already dead, but still. Prue: Well, thank you. Andy: You're welcome. Listen, Prue, I've done some thinking about the truth spell and well, I'm still trying to work my feelings out but I've kinda come to the conclusion that no matter whether I had a minute, a month, or a year to think about it, it wouldn't change the truth. It may sound boring but I know someday I want a normal life to come home to. With a white picket fence, a two car garage, a screaming kid, but no demons. Maybe it's because of all the evil I deal with everyday on the job. Prue: You don't have to explain, I understand. Believe me I wouldn't want to come home to it either if I could avoid it but I can't. You can. (They hug.) [Scene: Halliwell house. Phoebe and Prue are bringing the groceries in the kitchen.] Phoebe: So did you burn Andy's file like he suggested? Prue: Yeah, you should of seen it. It turns out he knew a lot more about us then he's letting on. Phoebe: Still doesn't explain how he could hear a ghost. Prue: What do you mean? Phoebe: Well, when you were a spirit you said you yelled out to him and that's what made him turn around in time. How could he hear you? Prue: I don't know. (Piper enters the room.) Piper: Hi. Phoebe: Piper, yay, I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow. Piper: I took an earlier flight. I had this terrible feeling you guys were um ... Prue: What? Piper: Oh, I don't know, at each other's throats maybe. Prue: Us? Phoebe: Are you kidding? Piper: So nothing happened while I was gone? Phoebe: No, just the same old boring stuff. Hey, you need a hand? Prue: Uh, yeah, that would be great, thanks Pheebs. (They start putting the groceries away.)	Plan: A: Piper; Q: Who worries about how Prue and Phoebe will handle any magical crisis while she's gone? A: Hawaii; Q: Where is Piper going on a business trip? A: a sight-seeing trip; Q: What is Phoebe doing in Alcatraz? A: a security guard; Q: Who does the spirit take possession of? A: revenge; Q: What does the spirit want to seek? A: a way; Q: What do Phoebe and Prue have to find to banish the spirit before it's too late? Summary: As Piper prepares to go on a business trip to Hawaii, she worries about how Prue and Phoebe will handle any magical crisis that might come up while she's gone. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes on a sight-seeing trip to Alcatraz, where she comes across a spirit. It takes possession of a security guard, in order to make his way across the water and seek revenge on the people who were behind his conviction. As a result, Phoebe and Prue have to find a way to banish the spirit before it's too late.
[ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Amy: I just read about an experiment designed to see if you could make two people fall in love in a matter of hours. Leonard: That doesn't sound right. My research has shown that it takes three to five years of shameless begging. Penny: Honey, neither of us comes off good in that story. Raj: Yeah, I-I... I saw that article you're talking about. Uh, the participants ask each other a series of questions designed to promote intimacy. Amy: And then they finish it off by staring into each other's eyes for four minutes. Sheldon: Oh, that's nonsense. I proclaimed my love for you. And the last time I looked into your eyes was when you thought you had conjunctivitis. Amy: Other than the fact that I had it, that was a magical night. Penny: Raj, would you ever try an experiment like that with Emily? Raj: What? I don't need science to win her heart. I have my family's wealth for that. Leonard: I'm telling you, you can't create love in a few hours. Right? Penny: Oh, careful. You're poking at the whole foundation of The Bachelor. Sheldon: Yeah, but we don't have to debate this. We're scientists. We can conduct our own research. I propose that we imprison two street people and... Amy: No. Sheldon: You didn't even let me finish. Amy: Forget it. Sheldon: So, you can experiment on all the apes you want. But I want to manipulate the emotions of two captive human beings, suddenly I'm the monster. Raj: Why don't you just do the test? Sheldon: In the interest of science, I'd be willing to. Penny: What? You're okay with an experiment where you have to answer awkward questions about your innermost feelings? Sheldon: Yes. Penny: Please, can I do it with him? Please? Leonard: I've been listening to Sheldon's feelings on things for ten years. Tag, you're it. Raj: Yeah, but what if the experiment works? Penny: I'm not gonna fall in love with Sheldon. Amy: That's what I said. Before I knew it, he pontificated his way right into my heart. Sheldon: Uh, fun fact, pontificate comes from the Latin word pontifex, which means bridge builder or Pope. Leonard: In love yet? [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ ♪ Bang! ♪ Original Air Date on February 26, 2015 [SCENE_BREAK] [ The hallway ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, Penny, if this experiment does make us fall in love, would you drive me to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for Gary Con? It's the only convention celebrating the life and work of Gary Gygax, the co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons. Penny: You know what? I can honestly say if we fall in love, not only will I drive you there, I will buy you all the dragon T-shirts you want. Sheldon: Okay, babe, let's do this. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Raj: You guys are really being calm about Penny and Sheldon doing this thing. (stammers) If it were me I'd, I'd be a little nervous. Amy: Why? Raj: Well, even if the study's nonsense, I don't believe in tempting fate. Same reason I wouldn't use a Ouija board, or pick a fight with an Asian guy. He probably doesn't know karate, but why risk it? Amy: I think we're safe. Raj: Well, that's what the bullies at Bruce Lee's high school thought. And then, bam. Karate. Leonard: Well, are we just gonna sit here while they do the experiment? Amy: The two of us could do it. Leonard: Yeah, sure, that might be fun. Amy: What's the first question? Raj: Hang on. Okay. "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?" Leonard: Hmm. I can honestly say Penny. Amy: Oh, then I choose a janitor, 'cause I'm about to throw up. Leonard: I'm in love. Let's do something else. Raj: Ooh, uh, Emily gets off work soon. Why don't the four of us go out? Leonard: Okay. Amy: Sounds good. Leonard: Should we call Howard and Bernadette? Raj: I don't know what time their plane gets in, but let me, let me shoot them a text. Amy: Did he say anything about the funeral? Raj: Not much, but he seemed to be in a pretty good place. [SCENE_BREAK] [ An airport baggage desk ] [SCENE_BREAK] Howard: Are you kidding me? You lost my mother's ashes? Baggage Clerk: No, I'm just saying that sometimes bags are misrouted. Howard: All right, fine. Where did you misroute the only woman who ever loved me? The first, well, first, I meant first. Clerk: I just need some information. Uh, what's the flight number? Bernadette: Eight sixteen. Howard: I really did mean first. Bernadette: Just drop it. Clerk: And can you describe the bag? Bernadette: Um, well, it's, uh, black. There's a red ribbon tied to the handle. Howard: The world's greatest mom is in the shoe compartment. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: You ready to begin? Penny: Yup. Be right there. I assume you don't want wine. Sheldon: Correct. You're not supposed to drink alcohol when operating heavy machinery. Penny: What heavy machinery? Let's just start. Sheldon: Well, as a Texas gentleman, I'm inclined to say ladies first. Although, I'm concerned that level of politeness and charm might make you fall in love with me before the test even begins. Perhaps we should flip a coin. Or if you're familiar with the rules of Rock, Paper, Scissors... Penny: Question one. "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?" Sheldon: Hmm. Living or dead? Penny: Just says "anyone in the world". I guess that means living. Sheldon: Ah, that's just as well. As much as I'd love to meet Euclid, inventor of the geometric proof, he probably wore sandals and I cannot look at toes during dinner. Oh, I know, the person I'd most like to have dinner with is myself. Penny: You sure that's your choice? 'Cause I've had that dinner. Sheldon: Well, I haven't. And while they say never meet your heroes, I just don't see how I could disappoint. Who would you choose? Penny: Robert Downey, Jr. Sheldon: Oh, I didn't think of Iron Man. You know, maybe after myself and I have dinner, we can meet you two for dessert. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Raj's car ] [SCENE_BREAK] Raj: So, what do you guys want to do? Amy: Well, we're the ones tagging along, you pick. Emily: Ooh, have you ever been to an escape room? Leonard: What's that? Emily: Um, it's kind of like interactive theatre, except you have to solve puzzles in a certain amount of time to get out. There's one downtown where they trap you in a room with a zombie. Raj: (short laugh) Oh, so kind of like what's happening with Penny right now. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: "What would constitute a perfect day for you?" Penny: Uh, well, I'd probably sleep in, do a little yoga, then lie on the beach while cute cabana boys brought me drinks and probably get a massage and then cap off the night with some dancing. Sheldon: That's it? Penny: Yeah, why? Sheldon: You didn't mention Leonard. Penny: He's there. Sheldon: I don't think so. (stammers) Leonard can't stand yoga, the beach, massages or dancing. Penny: Yeah, well, he brought a book, okay? What's yours? Sheldon: Uh, I wake up. Uh, I enjoy some French toast with butter and syrup. Uh, then a wormhole opens, and whisks me millions of years into the future where my towering intellect is used to save the last remnants of mankind from a predatory alien race. Penny: Interesting, you didn't mention Amy. Sheldon: Who do you think made the French toast with butter and syrup? [SCENE_BREAK] [ An escape room ] [SCENE_BREAK] Woman in lab coat: You're about to enter the lab of the late Dr. David Saltzberg. While conducting studies on slowing the aging process, there was a catastrophic accident and he died. Or did he? Leonard: Ladies? Emily: Are you being polite or scared? Leonard: Yup. Emily: Ah, what a room! Amy: Oh. Leonard: This is cool. Amy: So, how do we start? Emily: We have to look for the clues hidden around the room. Raj: Uh, wasn't there supposed to be a zombie? Zombie: (growling) Uuuuuuuh! Raj: (yelling) Ooh! Okay, let's hope one of the clues is written on a pair of clean underwear. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The Baggage Claim ] [SCENE_BREAK] Clerk: Mr. and Mrs. Wolowitz? As far as I can tell, your bag arrived in Los Angeles. Bernadette: So, where is it? Clerk: I don't know, perhaps somebody took it off the carousel by mistake? Howard: So, some stranger has my mom? Is that what you're telling me? My poor mother can be anywhere in Los Angeles right now? Clerk: I, I wish I was telling you that. Um, but the passenger could've gotten on an international flight. Howard: Oh, okay, great. So, your entire job is to find lost luggage, and you've narrowed down the location of my mother to the planet Earth. Clerk: I'm sorry. W, would 500 frequent-flyer miles help? That could get you to Sacramento. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: "If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?" Penny: Well, not to steal from the Bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good. Sheldon: I don't think you're taking this seriously. Penny: Come on, I'm just having some fun with you. Sheldon: I believe what you're doing is using humour to avoid vulnerability. Penny: Fine. Honestly, if I could have one quality, I wish I could be as smart as you guys. Sheldon: Ha. Keep dreaming. Penny: Sheldon. Shedon: I'm sorry. That was me having fun with you. Look, you may not be as, as academically inclined as are we. Yes, that's how you say it. But, you possess an intelligence I envy. Which leads me to my answer. I would choose the ability to read people's minds. Penny: Well, I can't read people's minds. Actually, that's not true, I can read men's minds, but only 'cause it's usually the one thing. Sheldon: When are we going to get robot eyes? Penny: You're all alike. Sheldon: Well, what I meant was I often misinterpret how others are feeling. Like, I can't always tell if someone is only joking or laughing at me. You know, like, uh, if they're mad at something I've done or just in a bad mood. It, it's incredibly stressful. Penny: Really? You always seem so confident. Sheldon: Well, I'm not. And if I could read people's minds, life would be so much simpler. Penny: Well, now I wish I had the ability to make that stuff easier for you. Sheldon: Thank you. Penny: Wow, I just felt this wave of affection for you. Sheldon: You sure it's not too much Bible juice? Penny: And the wave is gone. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The escape room ] [SCENE_BREAK] Zombie: Brains! Amy: Keep it down, we're working here. Raj: Okay, we've got the cipher decoded. Emily: How's it going with the globe? Amy: We used the coordinates to locate the cities. Leonard: I'm putting the city names in the grid now. I'm sure that'll give us the code to the safe. Zombie: Solve puzzle too fast! Slow down! Leonard: Yup. Got the code. Zombie: Just saying, no refund for finish early! [SCENE_BREAK] [ The baggage check ] [SCENE_BREAK] Bernadette: Sure you don't want to go home? When the bag's returned, they'll deliver it to us. Howard: No, I'm not leaving without her. Bernadette: All right, we'll wait. Howard: I could've driven her. Bernadette: What? Howard: The day she left for Florida. She asked me to drive her to the airport. I was too busy. And I made her take a cab. I was too busy. Bernadette: There's no way you could've known. Be right back. Excuse me? Clerk: Yes? Bernadette: You better find my husband's mother 'cause one way or another, w e're walking out of this airport with a dead woman. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The escape room ] [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard: Which book are we looking for? Raj: Uh, Origin of Species. Leonard: Here it is. There's a black light. Emily: Oh, hang on. (zombie moaning) Raj: Oh, okay. Uh, "Brothers and sisters I have none, but this man's father is my father's son. Who am I looking at?" Yeah, yeah, we get it, you want brains. Calm down. Amy: Well, if I don't have a brother, my father's son is me. And if I'm this man's father, then he's my son. The answer's "son". Emily: Ooh. There's a picture of the sun over there. Leonard: I bet the key's behind it. Zombie: Could be somewhere else. Emily: Oh, got the key. Amy: So, that's the key to the door? That's it? Leonard: We spent two hundred dollars on six minutes of fun? Raj: It's like when you bought that remote-controlled helicopter, and it just flew away. Emily: Sorry, guys. Really thought the puzzles would be better. Amy: Well, to be fair, we do all have advanced degrees. Zombie: Remember that before you post on Yelp. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Penny: "If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?" Sheldon: So, it would be today? Huh. Well, I suppose there's something satisfying about dying on my birthday. Penny: Today's your birthday? Sheldon: Yes. Penny: Well, that's always been a secret. Not even Amy knows. Sheldon: Well, I don't enjoy presents. And the thought of people jumping out and yelling "surprise" fills me with more dread than the words "George Lucas Director's Cut." Penny: So, why did you finally tell me? Sheldon: The point of the experiment is to be completely honest with each other. Penny: Well, thank you for sharing it with me. I won't tell anyone. Sheldon: Thank you. Penny: That is so funny. I never would have pegged you for a Pisces. Sheldon: You're making it difficult to love you right now. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The baggage check ] [SCENE_BREAK] Clerk: Great news, your bag was returned. Howard: Oh, thank God. It's okay, she's here. Ma's here. Bernadette: Okay, thank you so much. Howard: Ma? I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know that I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life. Bernadette: Oh, no. That thing's gonna end up in my bedroom. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: That's it. We're done with the questions. Penny: All that's left to do is stare into each other's eyes for four minutes without talking. Sheldon: Okay. Wait, hang on. Bladder check. We're good to go. Penny: You ready? Sheldon: Yes. Penny: And begin. This is kind of creepy. Sheldon: We're not supposed to talk during this part. Penny: Sorry. Sheldon: This is kind of creepy. Penny: Do you want to stop? I know you have trouble with eye contact. Sheldon: Well, you have a brown fleck in your right iris that looks like a Formula One race car. So I'm just concentrating on that. Plus, it's easier around people that I'm comfortable with. Penny: Aw, sweetie, I'm comfortable around you, too. Sheldon: Of course you are, I'm warm and soothing. I'm like a human bowl of tomato soup. Penny: I meant more like a little brother. Sheldon: Oh. Well, I suppose I do think of you as a sister. And sometimes, a mother. Penny: It's getting creepy again. Sheldon: What? Penny: Just thinking about the day I met you and Leonard. Sheldon: It was a Monday afternoon. You joined us for Indian food. Penny: Can you believe it's been eight years? Sheldon: Yeah, and you're still eating our food. Penny: I can't remember a time you guys weren't in my life. Sheldon: I remember it perfectly. But I have an eidetic memory. If you're interested, I also remember how much you owe us for the food. (alarm beeping) Penny: That's it. That wasn't so bad. Sheldon: No, it wasn't. Uh, now let's tabulate the results of the experiment. I think it's safe to say that you're not in love with me and I'm not in love with you. And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences. Penny: Well, maybe. But I'm still glad we did it. I do feel closer to you. Sheldon: And I, you. And yes, that's how you say that. Yeah, so, given our newfound intimacy, I'd say we have some hard choices to make. Penny: Like what? Sheldon: Gary Con, do we fly or drive? Do we wear costumes? And if so, who gets to be Gary? [SCENE_BREAK] [ The hallway ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: Thank you for walking me home. Penny: I just want to make sure you get there safe. Sheldon: Well, this is me. It's been a very interesting evening. Penny: It really has. All: Surprise! Sheldon: Aah! And after I let you be Gary.	Plan: A: an experiment; Q: What did Amy read about that claimed two people could fall in love by asking each other a set of personal questions and staring into each other's eyes for four minutes? A: her friends; Q: Who does Penny wish she was as smart as? A: social interaction; Q: What does Penny wish Sheldon could understand? A: a secret; Q: What does Sheldon tell Penny about his birthday? A: their friendship; Q: What do Sheldon and Penny reflect on after their experiment? A: a surprise party; Q: What do Sheldon's friends throw him when he returns home? A: a bit; Q: How much interactive theater did Raj, Emily, Leonard and Amy try? A: a room; Q: What do Raj, Emily, Leonard and Amy have to get out of? A: their scientific skills; Q: What did Raj, Emily, Leonard and Amy use to solve the puzzles in the theater? A: Howard; Q: Who feels guilty about not driving his mother to her flight? A: Bernadette; Q: Who is worried that Howard will put his mother's ashes in their bedroom? A: his mother's funeral; Q: What event did Howard and Bernadette attend in Florida? A: the airline; Q: Who lost Howard's mother's ashes? A: her ashes; Q: What did Howard lose at the airport? A: time; Q: What does Howard feel he knowingly rejected his last chance to spend with his mother by not driving her to her flight? Summary: Amy has read about an experiment claiming two people can fall in love by asking each other a set of personal questions and staring into each other's eyes for four minutes. Sheldon and Penny try it in her apartment. Penny reveals she wishes she was as smart as her friends, and Sheldon wishes he had Penny's ability to understand social interaction. They bond as Sheldon tells Penny a secret: that it is his birthday. They do not fall in love but happily reflect on their friendship. Sheldon is startled when his friends throw him a surprise party when he returns home. Raj, Emily, Leonard and Amy try a bit of interactive theater where participants have to solve puzzles to get out of a room. The four are disappointed after their scientific skills solve everything in six minutes. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette are at the airport having returned from his mother's funeral in Florida and are outraged the airline has lost her ashes. Howard feels guilty that he knowingly rejected his last chance to spend time with his mother by not driving her to her flight. He is relieved when her ashes are found but Bernadette worries he will put them in their bedroom.
[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS DESERT (STOCK) - DAY] WHITE FLASH TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. WESTERN LAS VEGAS CORRECTIONAL FACILITY --DAY] (The inmates, dressed in bright red exercise outside. They play basketball, lift weights, etc.) (Cut to: One inmate in his cell addresses a package to: GIL GRISSOM c/o CSI 2974 WESTFALL LAS VEGAS, NV89109 ) (The inmate carries the package and walks out with the other inmates who also have letters and things to mail.) Officer: Into the bag, follow me. (One by one, the inmates put their letters into the open mailbag set up to the side of the hallway.) (The inmate carrying the box addressed to GRISSOM, puts it into the mailbag and keeps walking.) (Cut to: The package is placed on a conveyor belt and scanned through the X-ray. The camera rises to the monitor and shows that inside the package is a video tape.) (The package exits the scanner and is picked up on the other side.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY /BREAK ROOM-- DAY] (The delivery person carries the stamped package down the hallway. He turns the corner and walks into the Break Room where GRISSOM is leafing through a magazine.) Delivery Boy: This came for you, Mr. Grissom. (He hands the package to GRISSOM who takes it and puts it on the table between him and BRASS. GRISSOM leans over to look at it as does BRASS.) Brass: What's this? An anonymous package from county lockup? (GRISSOM takes out something to open the package. BRASS immediately protests.) Brass: Yeah, well, hey, just a second. Wait a minute. Give an innocent bystander a chance to clear out, will you? Grissom: What are you worried about? BRASS One minute, I'm eating tomato salad. The next ... I'm gazpacho. (GRISSOM takes off the wrapping and opens the box. Inside is the video tape.) Brass: With any luck it'll be the next episode of G-String Divas. (GRISSOM puts it in the video tape machine and turns it on. He settles back in the chair to watch.) (On videotape, FRANK DAMON sits in front of the camera and blows lightly into the clip-on microphone then rather than put it on, he holds onto it as he speaks.) Frank Damon: (on videotape) My name is Frank Damon ... and I'm awaiting trial for the murder of ... my wife and son. Brass: (nods) That's an arson case -- a few months ago. The DA is asking for the death penalty. Frank Damon: (on videotape) I didn't kill my family ... but my lawyer says the evidence is against me. (Something about the videotape captures GRISSOM'S attention. He stares at the monitor intently.) Frank Damon: (on videotape) I was a good father. I loved him. I would have given my life for Toby and Jeannie. They were my world. Mr. Grissom, you are my last hope. Please ... help me. Brass: An innocent man. Jail's full of them. Grissom: It only takes one. HARD CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM is sitting at the table reviewing the files. In the background through the glass, we see CATHERINE walk toward the room; NICK and SARA follow her.) (GRISSOM continues to read the file. Suddenly CATHERINE leans over and stares at the file over his shoulder.) (GRISSOM turns to look at her.) Catherine: Am I disturbing you? Grissom: Yeah. Catherine: Good. (GRISSOM realizes that everyone's there for their assignments.) Grissom: Oh. Great. Sorry. (Everyone starts to take their seats around the table. GRISSOM puts the file down and looks around the stacks of paper on the table. He sighs.) Grissom: Uh, I was supposed to pass out some supervisor evaluation forms. Where are they? (CATHERINE grabs the papers on the table and starts handing them out.) Catherine: Here they are. Nick: (sits down & smiles) Mmm. Get to rate the boss. I dig this. (CATHERINE gives NICK the evaluation form.) Catherine: Give him a perfect ten or your ass is out of here. Grissom: (exasperated) No, it's not. (SARA laughs. CATHERINE hands her an evaluation form and heads around the table toward WARRICK.) Grissom: All right. Assignment: Parking lot of the sportsbook at the Monaco. Caucasian male found dead in the front seat of his car. (CATHERINE sits down.) Nick: Two days before the Super Bowl. (Sounds promising to WARRICK as he leans forward.) Warrick: I'll take a piece of that. Grissom: No. Uh, Nick and Catherine. (WARRICK sniffs and settles back in his seat. SARA pipes up.) Sara: What else you got? Grissom: You and Warrick are working with me. Catherine: The prisoner plea. Brass told me about the video. Grissom: Yeah. If we take the case we have very little time to work it. The trial starts in three days. Sara: How did he find you? 1-800-GRISSOM ... ? (NICK laughs.) Catherine: Wait a minute. Ecklie was the CSI on that arson. I see a bad moon rising. Warrick: Can a CSI take over another CSIi's case? Catherine: Only if they're of equal rank and they're looking for trouble. Grissom: No trouble. We're both colleagues searching for the truth. Okay, that's it. Look ... onward. You have to start by looking at this. (GRISSOM holds out the video tape. SARA reaches out and takes it.) Warrick: Hey, what happened to that, uh, meeting the other day? Grissom: Meeting? Warrick: Yeah, the department heads were voting on an extra vacation day or something? (NICK, who had already stood up to leave for his assignment, stops and turns to listen to WARRICK.) Catherine: Yeah. (GRISSOM stares at them ... clueless. He doesn't say anything and it's obvious that he didn't go to the meeting. CATHERINE shrugs.) Nick: (looks at evaluation) Hmm. "Organization" ... minus one. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CSI - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM is in his car about to leave, when BRASS calls out to him as he approaches the car from the passenger side.) Brass: Yo, cousin. (GRISSOM turns to look at BRASS.) Brass: I'm going to save you some gas here. I did some checking on your pal Damon. Grissom: I don't remember asking you to. Brass: Eyewitness saw him running from his burning house. Inside was his wife and kid. Now, wife's a big spender. Maxed out on the credit cards. They just bought the place and already he's late on the payments. Couple's always arguing about money. No surprise. Grissom: Well, how does killing his family solve his money problems? Brass: Maybe he didn't mean to. Maybe he needed the insurance dough and things got out of hand. Grissom: Too many maybes. I think we should go with the evidence. Brass: Well, I got something for you on that, too. Gasoline found in the master bedroom closet. Grissom: Yeah, a hydrocarbon. I read Ecklie's report. Brass: Did you skip the page with Damon's credit card receipts? Guy bought a gallon of gas a week before the fire. Grissom: Do I seem like the kind of guy who skips stuff? Brass: Read my lips. There is no compelling evidence to suggest Damon was wrongfully charged. Grissom: Well, then, it'll be a short interview, won't it? (GRISSOM starts the car engine.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MONACO CASINO - PARKING LOT - NIGHT] (CATHERINE and NICK walk up to the crime scene.) Nick: Whew! Two days before the super bowl and they're already killing each other. (CATHERINE looks into the car window. SGT. O'RILEY peers in through the open driver-side door at CATHERINE.) Catherine: Hey, O'Riley, anyone put their meat hooks on this vehicle? Sgt. O'Riley: How long have we worked together? Catherine: Still got to ask. Nick: Sergeant. (SGT. O'RILEY sees that NICK wants to get to the body. He steps aside and NICK steps forward to look at the body leaning against the steering wheel.) Sgt. O'Riley: What's up? Nick: Oh ... gunshot wound to the head, point-blank range. Catherine: Just a baby. (CATHERINE snaps a photo of the body. She opens the back door and picks up the wallet to check it.) Catherine: Tap city. Empty. (Quick flashback to: The DRIVER gets into the car. As soon as the car door closes, the KILLER sits up and puts the gun to the back of his head.) Catherine: (V.O.) Killer was probably in the back seat waiting for him. (The KILLER shoots; blood spurts onto the windshield.) Catherine: (V.O.) Kid never stood a chance. (The KILLER reaches over for the wallet. Once he gets it, he pushes the dead body toward the steering wheel. White flash to: The KILLER removes the money from the wallet) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (NICK examines the dead body and notices something stuck in his ear.) Nick: Check this out. Hearing aid? Catherine: Maybe he was deaf. Nick: Possibly. (NICK puts his flashlight down, then moves to the back seat behind the driver. He opens the door and notices the window.) Nick: Got some condensation on the window. You should get a shot of this. (CATHERINE pulls out a plastic bag under the back seat passenger side chair. She opens it and checks inside, then chuckles.) Catherine: You hungry, Nick? Got a burger. Extra lettuce. (CATHERINE takes out a stack of hundred dollar bills. It's wrapped with two rubber bands with a paper that reads: MONACO CASINO 4D207-D5DF-304... 550 000 STRAIGHT BET LAKER - 11 TO WIN 550 000 TOTAL 510 000 576 TELLER #? 26JAN01 **:25:42 4D207-D5DF-3... Nick: A rule of thumb: $2,500 an inch. There's got to be ... fifteen thousand there? (CATHERINE looks at the paper label and reads.) Catherine: "Giants ... negative nine." (Something sounds recognizable to NICK. He looks at CATHERINE and she hands over the money to NICK.) Nick: "Giants minus nine." (NICK shows CATHERINE the ticket attached to the stack of bills.) Nick: It's a super bowl ticket. Straight bet-- $30,000. Catherine: What does a kid doing walking around with a wad like that betting thirty grand on a football game? Who wrote the ticket? (NICK pulls out the ticket and shows it to CATHERINE.) Nick: Teller 12. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT MONACO CASINO - NIGHT] (CATHERINE and NICK question TONY, TELLER 12.) Tony (teller 12): Yeah, I wrote the ticket. So what? Catherine: So, it was found with the kid killed in your parking lot. Tony (teller 12): Yeah. 30 dimes. It was 517's. Nick: 517? What's that? Tony (teller 12): That's his number. He was a runner. Catherine: A runner? Tony (teller 12): Yeah, a gofer -- runs from book to book places bets with other people's money. Catherine: Kid wasn't a day over sixteen. Isn't that illegal? Tony (teller 12): Lady, he's not buying a pack of cigarettes. He's betting $30,000. Vig for the house is three grand. We look the other way. Nick: I'd be willing to bet there's a mother out there that wishes you hadn't. Tony (teller 12): Hey, what do I care? I'm out of this job by the end of the week. Tired of looking at scumbags. Catherine: Well, does 517 have a name? Tony (teller 12): I only know them by their numbers. (NICK turns and walks away.) Catherine: (to TONY) Well, you've been very helpful. Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. WESTERN LAS VEGAS CORRECTIONAL FACILITY - NIGHT] (GRISSOM walks up to the gate.) Grissom: Evening. Officer: Here you go. (The GUARD opens the gate for him.) Grissom: Thanks. Inmate: Yo, Grissom! (GRISSOM turns and sees a guard leading a line of inmates for a walk in the fresh night air.) Inmate: (to other inmate) This guy's the reason I'm in here. Shoe print. (yells) Yo, man, next time I'll go barefoot! Grissom: (yells back, amused) Even better. Footprints. (GRISSOM turns to walk into the facility.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PRISON - CONFERENCE ROOM -- NIGHT] (The guard leads FRANK DAMON to the cubicle where GRISSOM sits waiting for him. He picks up the telephone.) Frank Damon: So, you're the Grissom they wrote about in the newspaper? I thought you'd be older. Grissom: Why did you contact me, Mr. Damon? Frank Damon: Arson specialist gave me your name. Well, six of them, actually. They all turned my case down. Will you help me? Grissom: Fires are very complicated. Frank Damon: It wasn't too complicated for the guy who put me in here. (GRISSOM doesn't answer him right away. He looks at FRANK DAMON for a long moment.) Frank Damon: You think if you stare at me long enough, you can tell if I'm innocent? Grissom: I don't mean to stare ... but, yes, I can learn some things. For instance, the back of your hands are smooth. You read a lot. You have indentation marks on your nose from reading glasses. Your speech tells me that you're well-educated. Your occupation's not listed in the file, but I think that you had a white-collar job. Frank Damon: (nods) Paper-pusher for the phone company. Grissom: I don't know yet whether you're left- or right-handed, though. (FRANK instinctively pulls his right hand toward him. GRISSOM notices the movement.) Grissom: Now, you want to tell me what happened? Frank Damon: It was about midnight. (Quick flashback to: The night of the fire, FRANK leans in to kiss JEANNIE as she tucks the blanket around TOBY. FRANK straightens up. Frank Damon: Okay, baby. Frank Damon: (V.O.) My wife, Jeannie -- she was hungry. She had a food craving. (End of flashback. Resume to present. Frank Damon: She sent me out to the store to get her some ice cream. (Quick flashback to: The night of the fire, JEANNIE turns and lightly touches TOBY'S head as he lies in bed.) Frank Damon: (V.O.) My son, Toby, he was in the bed with us. (FRANK puts his coat on to leave.) Frank Damon: (V.O.) He couldn't sleep. I was going to take him camping the next day. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Frank Damon: Toby was eight. Grissom: Why don't you tell me about the fire. (Quick flashback to: The night of the fire, the SUV pulls up into the driveway.) Frank Damon: (V.O.) I got back from the store in under 20 minutes. (He parks the car and sees the smoke rising from the house.) Frank Damon: (V.O.) I saw smoke coming out of the back of the house. I could hear the alarm. (He rushes into the house and runs to the bedroom.) Frank Damon: Jeannie! Frank Damon: (V.O.) The house was filled with smoke. Frank Damon: Jeannie! (FRANK reaches the bedroom door and sees the smoke coming out from under the opening.) Frank Damon: (V.O.) I checked the door for heat. I knew not to open it. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: Why? Frank Damon: Flashover. (Surprised that FRANK even knows about "flashovers".) Grissom: Flashover? Frank Damon: That's right. When the fire reaches about 932 degrees Fahrenheit you add oxygen and the smoke will burst into flame. I know how fire behaves, Mr. Grissom, because I'm a volunteer fireman. I was hoping to make the department this Spring. So I couldn't open the door. I ran outside to my car to call a rig. Grissom: Well, if you're a volunteer fireman then you must be familiar with the use of accelerants. Frank Damon: Yes. Grissom: According to the report there were traces of gasoline found on the floor of your bedroom closet. Frank Damon: That's right, and I don't know how it got there. We didn't keep anything like that in the house. Grissom: Our homicide department has a credit card receipt for gasoline -- your receipt -- and there's no other suspects. (FRANK'S getting upset.) Frank Damon: I didn't burn down my house, Mr. Grissom. I bought the gasoline for the lawnmower and kept it in the garage. Now, if there was gasoline in our closet someone else put it there. Find them. Grissom: I don't chase criminals, Mr. Damon. I just evaluate evidence. (FRANK puts his hand up against the glass. GRISSOM glances at it and notices something.) Frank Damon: I need someone to believe me -- to figure this out. Grissom: How did you burn your hand, Mr. Damon? (FRANK puts his hand down.) Frank Damon: I don't remember. Grissom: People with third-degree burns don't forget how they got them. (FRANK takes a breath.) Frank Damon: You're not going to help me? Grissom: I'll take your case. I don't know whether I'll help you or not. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DAMON RESIDENCE -- DAY] (The Tahoe pulls up to the drive. GRISSOM, SARA and WARRICK exit the vehicle and walk toward the house. They duck under the crime scene tape and look around.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAMON RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM -- DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (The door opens and they walk inside. GRISSOM takes out his flashlight and looks at they damage. WARRICK starts snapping some photos.) Grissom: Nothing harder to investigate than arson. If the fire hasn't ruined your crime scene... Sara: ... The firemen have. Grissom: Yeah. Sara: Funny place for a mattress. Grissom: Overhaul. Post-blaze, firemen remove charred items to neutralize the hot spots. Prevents flare-ups. (WARRICK continues snapping photos. GRISSOM turns and heads down the hallway. He looks around. He and SARA pause in front of the little boy's bedroom.) [TOBY'S BEDROOM] (SARA steps inside and kneels in front of some packed gear on the floor.) Sara: Looks like the kid was going camping. (She puts her kit down and takes out some tweezers which she uses to reach into the backpack. She picks up a container of matches.) Sara: Waterproof matches. Grissom: Bag those. Warrick: What do you think? The kid might have started it? (GRISSOM doesn't say anything. He simply looks at WARRICK, who gets it instantly.) Warrick: (nods & sighs) We don't rule anything out. Grissom: Yeah. (SARA bags the matches.) [HALLWAY] (GRISSOM continues down the hallway and heads toward the end where the master bedroom is. WARRICK and SARA follow him. He looks around at the damaged room.) Grissom: The fire was contained inside this room ... but the outside door frame is severely charred. Warrick: Well, fires take the path of least resistance. I mean, they feed off of oxygen and combustibles. Grissom: We're going to take a piece of this back to the lab. Sara: It's a weird place for such a thorough burn especially since the door isn't scorched. Grissom: Huh. Sara: Look at this. Rubber? (GRISSOM kneels down to look at what's burned into the door knob. They all look at it.) Warrick: Firemen wear rubber gloves. (WARRICK snaps a photo.) (They walk into the bedroom.) [MASTER BEDROOM] Warrick: According to Ecklie's report, which was filed in record time, the point of origin for the fire was the closet. Gris, there's nothing left here. (GRISSOM looks at the closet.) Grissom: More than you think. "V" pattern on the outside wall. Fires like to go up and out. Sara: That's why you can always count on seeing a pattern. Grissom: This one's narrow. This was a very intense, rapidly moving fire. Warrick: Well, that confirms Ecklie's findings about the use of an accelerant. (WARRICK snaps a photo.) Grissom: The apex of the "V" usually indicates the point of origin. You want to call it, Warrick? Warrick: Damon doused the closet floor with gasoline, lit it and got the hell out of dodge. (GRISSOM sees something on the floor.) Grissom: Shards of glass. Sara: Bag a sample. I'll put it through the lab. (GRISSOM fingers the glass and can't move it. He looks up at SARA.) Grissom: Can't. It's melted into the concrete. (Quick CGI close up of the glass melted into the concrete.) Sara: So that's why the concrete's discolored? From the heat? Grissom: It's called "spalling." It confirms the presence of an accelerant. Sara: Why would there be glass in the middle of the hot spot? Grissom: Good question. Warrick: Who cares? The guy torched his wife and kid. (GRISSOM turns to look at WARRICK.) Grissom: Really? Where's the trailing? An arsonist would spread the gasoline around to maximize the burn area. (After a moment, SARA concurs.) Sara: He still did the job. (GRISSOM stands up.) Grissom: Listen, you guys. You're like Dodger fans. The ball game's only in the seventh inning and you're already out of your seats. (GRISSOM walks past them.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (CATHERINE leads SANDRA HILLMAN into the room to identify the body. They walk up to the body. CATHERINE lowers the sheet.) Catherine: Mrs. Hillman? Is this your son? (SANDRA HILLMAN looks down at the body and inhales. She starts to cry silently.) (She nods.) (Watching her, CATHERINE isn't unaffected and starts crying also.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY OUTSIDE AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (MRS. HILLMAN leans against the wall trying to compose herself. CATHERINE stands next to her.) Catherine: Mrs. Hillman? Was your son hearing-impaired? Joey was wearing a hearing aid. Sandra Hillman: (shakes her head) No. No, Joey's hearing was fine. Why would he have that? Catherine: (softly) I don't know. (She thinks about it for a moment, then something occurs to her.) Sandra Hillman: Wait a minute. (sighs) Danny ... swore to me he'd keep Joey out of that racket. Catherine: Danny? Sandra Hillman: My older son. He's a runner, too. They wear remote earpieces. That's how they talk to the guy they worked for. We've had full-scale wars about him doing that -- carrying around that kind of money-- but does he stop? No. He gets Joey involved. Catherine: Well, the police will want to talk to your son Danny. Sandra Hillman: I haven't seen him in a week. And he hasn't returned my calls. (She turns to CATHERINE.) Sandra Hillman: Do you think something's happened to him, too? (CATHERINE doesn't say anything.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (GRISSOM, SARA and WARRICK walk through the hallway just returned from their visit to the house and carrying bags of evidence. They bump into CONRAD ECKLIE. GRISSOM sighs.) Conrad Ecklie: Grissom. Grissom: I'll see you guys in the evidence lab. Conrad Ecklie: Night shift so slow you've got to pick over my cases? GRISSOM I'm just making sure that we've answered all the questions. CONRAD ECKLIE Was it arson? Yes. No doubt about it. What accelerant was used? Let's see -- hydrocarbon residue, and a credit card receipt. Got to be gasoline. Grissom: Yeah? Why was there no trailing? And why no evidence of an incendiary device anywhere in the bedroom? Conrad Ecklie: He's a volunteer fireman, Gil. He knows how to start a fire and hide the evidence. Don't you think, if this guy was remotely innocent his attorney would be involved in your little investigation? Grissom: What are you so afraid of, Conrad? We're just a couple of science geeks. Why can't we work together? Conrad Ecklie: No, we are public servants. We investigate cases as efficiently as we can and then we move on. We're not a clearinghouse for defendants on the eve of trial who don't like what we've turned up. Grissom: Yes, we are -- if it's our mistake that put them there. (GRISSOM starts to walk past ECKLIE.) Conrad Ecklie: Fine. Spin your wheels. (He turns around and stops him.) Grissom: Hey, Eck? (smiles) What is the new policy on vacation days? (ECKLIE doesn't answer. He shakes his head and they walk on.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM -- DAY] (CATHERINE and NICK talk with WARRICK about "runners". WARRICK takes off his jacket.) Warrick: Runners, huh? I know a little something about that world. Nick: Yeah, we thought you might. So? Warrick: It breaks down like this. There's about a half a dozen runners in town -- they're mostly kids -- and they make about two "g's" a week. And they all work for the same guy. Catherine: Well, that's more than a little something. (WARRICK puts his shirt in his locker.) Warrick: I used to be a runner in college. It paid the bills. I had route five. Worked Boulder, Sunset, Vacation, and the bay -- all of that. Catherine: So, who was your boss then? Warrick: The Voice. (WARRICK takes out a shirt and puts it on.) Nick: He didn't have a name? WARRICK; Runners go from bet to bet, they jot down their orders and they call them in to "The Voice." Guy runs the entire operation underground. I mean, he takes orders from Back East and lays them off in Vegas. Pockets his vig, his commission. He's like a trader on the stock exchange. (WARRICK'S pager beeps. He checks it.) Warrick: I knew it. That's Grissom. I got to bail. (WARRICK closes his locker, then heads for the door.) Nick: So ... how do we find this, uh ... "Voice"? Warrick: You don't. He's not who you're looking for anyway. If you want to know who capped this kid? Then you should talk to another runner. I mean, they'll kill each other for a good route. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM is in the lab conducting an experiment. SARA walks in and leans over to see what GRISSOM has under the hood.) Grissom: Uh... you might want to take three giant steps backward. (SARA straightens and backs away.) Warrick: What's going on? Sara: Danger, Will Robinson. Grissom: Three drops of gasoline, limited oxygen supply heat to ignition temperature of 932 degrees Fahrenheit. Warrick: Same conditions in Damon's bedroom, night of the fire. (The mouth of the flask flashes and a small explosion sounds.) Grissom: Smoke to fire. (WARRICK takes a seat.) Warrick: Flashover. So, that confirms the first part of Damon's story. Grissom: Tell me you're here to confirm part two. Sara: As a matter of fact, here is your doorframe. I had Collins analyze the burn depth. You see these rolling blisters? Grissom: It's called alligatoring. See the way the wood's cracked? It looks like the skin of an alligator. Sara: Based on the depth of the allir... allo... Warrick: "Alligatoring". (SARA nods to WARRICK.) Sara: This wood burned very hot and very fast. Grissom: Use of accelerant? Sara: Negative. Warrick: But that piece was a doorframe outside of the bedroom -- which was a contained site. Grissom: So, the only way this could've happened was ... O2. (Quick flashback to: The night of the fire, camera close up of the smoke escaping from under the door opening. It's rolling out, then rolls back under. The house alarm is beeping.) (DAMON is standing in front of the door and opens it automatically. The flashover causes him to fall back into the hallway.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: Damon opened the door. (beat) He lied. (GRISSOM takes off his glasses.) Warrick: So what happens now? Grissom: We chase the lie ... 'til it leads to the truth. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PRISON - HALLWAY -- DAY] (GRISSOM makes his way down the hallway. At the end of the hallway, FRANK DAMON is sitting on a bench, talking with RACHEL. FRANK sees GRISSOM walking up to them and stands up. He gives RACHEL a hug and she leaves.) (GRISSOM notices her as they pass each other. He looks up at FRANK.) (They both sit down.) Frank Damon: That's my sister. She's the only one who stood by me in all this. Grissom: Anything else you want to tell me? Frank Damon: What, about my sister? Grissom: About the fire. Frank Damon: I ... told you everything. Grissom: Your bedroom doorframe disagrees. If no one opened the door ... the outside frame would not have burned. As a firefighter you know that. (He looks down and doesn't say anything.) Grissom: May I see your hand, please? Palm up. (FRANK opens his palm to show GRISSOM the burns. GRISSOM takes out a door knob.) Grissom: This is the same type of doorknob that you have on your bedroom door. (GRISSOM puts the door knob in FRANK'S palm. FRANK grabs the doorknob and starts crying.) Grissom: Mr. Damon ... Frank Damon: Please ... I don't want anyone to know. Grissom: Why? This places you outside of the fire. You're facing the death penalty. Why are you lying? Frank Damon: (ashamed) I'm a firefighter. And when my wife and my son needed me ... I forgot everything. (Quick flashback to: The night of the fire, FRANK rushes in to the hallway heading straight for the master bedroom all the while calling for JEANNIE.) Frank Damon: (V.O.) I didn't check for heat. Frank Damon: Jeannie! Frank Damon: (V.O.) I didn't look for smoke. (FRANK bumps into the door, then turns down the hallway to the end of the hall and reaches for the doorknob.) Frank Damon: (V.O.) All I could think about was getting them out. So I opened the door. I let a monster out. (As soon as he opens the door, the smoke explodes into fire. It pushes him back through the hallway.) Frank Damon: (V.O.) I could just about make them out through the flame. Frank Damon: Jeannie! Jeannie! Frank Damon: (V.O.) But I... I couldn't get to them! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: What else? Frank Damon: I had to close the door. The whole house would've gone up and the firemen would have never reached them. (He starts crying.) I killed my family. Grissom: Carbon monoxide killed them long before the fire got to them. You know that. (He shakes his head.) Frank Damon: It doesn't matter what I know. My family died because I wasn't there to protect them. Grissom: You tried to save your family, but that doesn't mean that you didn't start the fire. Are you lying about that, too? Frank Damon: (he stops crying) You tell me. Grissom: I will. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MONACO CASINO - MAIN FLOOR] (NICK and CATHERINE are back interviewing TONY.) Tony (teller 12): Hey, you didn't hear this from me, all right? But, um ... see the guy over there -- blue sweatshirt with the orange hood? Nick: Yeah. (They turn and see the kid sitting down at the table talking to no one ... and laughing.) Tony (teller 12): 702. He's a runner. He used to hang with 517-- the kid who was killed. Nick: He's not talking to himself, is he? Tony (teller 12): Talking to his boss on a wire. Catherine: It's illegal to use two-way communication in the sportsbook. Tony (teller 12): As long as you don't get caught. I got to get back to work. (TONY leaves. NICK and CATHERINE head over toward 702.) 702: (to mic) Lakers are minus 11. Total is 189. Yeah. Bulls pick. Kings are down to nine from 11. (pauses and listens to the instructions over the earpiece) Done. (702 stands up and heads for the cage. He puts a betting piece down.) 702: Lakers. $50,000. Gimme as much at eleven as you can. (CATHERINE and NICK walk up to 702.) Catherine: You like the Lakers today? Cage: Here you go. (The CAGE hands 702 his ticket. 702 picks it up and turns to look at CATHERINE.) Catherine: So do I. 702: Yeah, Joey Hillman, 517. Yeah, he was a good kid. It's too bad about him getting shot. Nick: Yeah, I guess all the runners heard about it by now, huh? 702: I guess. CATHERINE; So, who got Joey's route? 702: I don't know. The only thing I know is my own route. Nick: What was Joey's route, exactly? 702: You guys are asking a lot questions here for not being cops, huh? Nick: Are you interested in helping us better understand Joey's crime scene, or ... not? 702: I only know what I see on the news. (chuckles, then stands) Later. (702 leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAMON RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM -- DAY] (Wearing a face mask, WARRICK kneels down to look at the damage inside the bedroom.) (Someone approaches him from behind. WARRICK is too engrossed in the scene in front of him to notice. The person walks up closer, then makes a sound. WARRICK gasps, jumps, turns and holds up his flashlight.) (GRISSOM also holds up his flashlight on WARRICK.) Warrick: You got me. Grissom: Sorry. What are you doing here? Warrick: Sifting through this debris. (GRISSOM still holds the flashlight on WARRICK.) Warrick: You mind? (He moves his flashlight from WARRICK'S face.) Grissom: No. Warrick: Give me a hand with this mattress. (GRISSOM and WARRICK move the mattress. Underneath, they find something.) GRISSOM Space heater. Janko electric, model ... ... 220. Warrick: Or it was. I figure it must have burned up in the bedroom and the firemen threw it out here with the rest of this overhaul. Grissom: This is heavy-duty, high voltage. This thing could heat our whole lab. Warrick: Or overload a house. (At that suggestion, GRISSOM realizes.) Warrick: (nods) Breaker box. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAMON RESIDENCE - BASEMENT - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (They open the breaker box and look inside.) Warrick: Circuit overload. Master bedroom. Grissom: You know what to do next? Warrick: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAMON RESIDENCE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (WARRICK uses a power drill and cuts out the remains of the overloaded plug in the bedroom.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY] (CATHERINE speaks with the LAB TECH, L. COLLINS.) Collins: The condensation inside Joey's back seat window is nasal mucus. Catherine: From a sneeze. Collins: Most likely. You're thinking ... the shooter was in the back seat? Catherine: Mm-hmm, with the sniffles. Collins: Mm-hmm. Catherine: So what is the DNA like in mucus these days? Collins: It's pretty good. I'll start a DNA profile. Catherine: Thanks. (Behind her, DAVID PHILLIPS calls out to CATHERINE.) David Phillips: Catherine? (She turns around.) Catherine: Oh, hi, David. What's up? David Phillips: There's someone waiting for you in reception. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - RECEPTION - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE walks over to find SGT. O'RILEY with SANDRA HILLMAN and her son, DANNY.) Catherine: Detective? Sgt. O'Riley: She came in with her son. Thought you'd like a conversation before we sat down with him. Catherine: Yeah, thanks. Did you call Nick? Sgt. O'Riley: Yeah. (She steps forward.) Sandra Hillman: Uh ... (to DANNY) Come on. (to CATHERINE) This is my son Danny. He heard about Joey and came home. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (CATHERINE, NICK along with SGT. O'RILEY questionsDANNY HILLMAN.) Danny Hillman: So I took some of my runner money and I hit the blackjack tables. I lost ... so I doubled up. I ended up losing thirty grand in eight minutes. Catherine: Well, I can see why you ran. Danny Hillman: I was scared. You know, it wasn't my money. Nick: Did you think to get back to your boss? Try to make amends? Catherine: You guys don't even know who your boss is, do you? Nick: Did you tell Joey to get out of town-that someone might try to harm him on behalf of your boss? Danny Hillman: I should have. But, no ... I only worried about my butt. They killed Joey to send a message to me. Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't know. Catherine: Danny ... do you have any idea who shot your brother? Danny Hillman: One of the runners. Probably a guy ... Sandra Hillman: No! No. No names. Danny Hillman: One of them killed Joey. You know, they'll do anything for money. It's like a-a disease. Sandra Hillman: And if you talk, they'll come after you. (to CATHERINE) No. No, I'm not losing another child. Danny Hillman: Joey died because of me. Either they find his shooter, or I do. Nick: Whoa, whoa! Hold on, now. Nobody's going after anybody. Okay, he doesn't have to give us a name, Mrs. Hillman. Alright. Danny, you wear an earpiece, right? Just give us the frequency your runners operate on. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM works on the wiring from the wall socket. CONRAD ECKLIE passes by in the hallway, turns and sees GRISSOM. He lingers in the doorway.) Conrad Ecklie: What the hell are you doing? Grissom: Something you probably should have done. Conrad Ecklie: (scoffs) You're checking for faulty wiring? Waste of time, Gil. Fire started on the floor in the closet not in the wires in the wall. Grissom: Yeah, that was your report. This is an electrical socket from the closet where a space heater was plugged in. Conrad Ecklie: A heater? There was no heater there. Grissom: I found it in the living room, melted. Conrad Ecklie: And I suppose you happen to know which outlet it was plugged into? Grissom: It was a cold night. The outlet in the closet was closest to her bed. Conrad Ecklie: That's a little far-fetched, don't you think? Grissom: Look ... if this wire burned from the inside out then the fire started in the wall not on the closet floor. Grissom: Discoloration throughout the conductor. It burned from the inside out. The cause of this fire was an electrical overload in the wall. Conrad Ecklie: All right, you say wall, I say floor. We differ on points of origin. The jury's only going to hear one word: Gasoline. Grissom: Speaking of which ... where's your accelerant analysis work? Conrad Ecklie: I personally swabbed the closet floor. Found traces of hydrocarbon chains confirming gasoline. Leave it alone, Gil. The DA agrees with me on this. Grissom: Too many unanswered questions, Conrad. This case should not be going to trial yet. Conrad Ecklie: No, there's only one unanswered question. Why was there accelerant in the closet? Only one person knows. And that's why he's looking at the death penalty. (ECKLIE leaves the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PRISON - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (GRISSOM questions FRANK DAMON again.) Frank Damon: Look, I told you ... I don't know why it was there. Grissom: You've got to do better than that. (Frustrated, FRANK gets to his feet.) Frank Damon: (frustrated) I can't! Grissom: It doesn't prove you didn't start it. Until we can explain why there was gasoline in the bedroom closet the charges stand. (FRANK turns to look at GRISSOM.) Frank Damon: Then I guess I'm a dead man. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (SGT. O'RILEY lines up a group of young men in a row out in the hallway.) 702: Hey, this is bull. I thought I was showing up to win a trip. Catherine: Oh, one of you is going to win a trip, all right. Everybody clear this is voluntary? 702: Yeah, sure. Then she just calls the cops to come and arrest us. Catherine: So everyone is clear. (CATHERINE looks at the men in the line-up. No one says anything. CATHERINE turns around to look at NICK, who immediately agrees with her.) Nick: Yeah. Catherine: Yeah. Nick: Okay ... here's what we're going to do. Open your nostrils. 702: (laughs) You know, look, I got a hundred bucks that says none of us are the shooter. Catherine: Well, if you're that confident it's not one of your guys you must know who it is. 702: Even if I did, you think I would tell you? Nick: You're on cool breeze. A hundred bucks. 702 (smiles) Okay. (NICK takes the sample. CATHERINE walks to the other end of the line and stares up at the young man.) Catherine: Head back. (Cut to: Close up of a scissors snipping off the end of the swab. The swab is put into sample with a sicker label "702" next to it are glass containers for 318, 526, and 431.) (The swab is processed and tested.) (The results are printed.) (NICK reads the results and sighs. He hands the results back to the LAB TECH.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (NICK walks out into the hallway.) Catherine: Okay. You're all free to go. Nick: This way, gents. (The runners turn to leave the hallway. 702 turns to look at NICK.) 702: You owe me a c-note, baby. Nick: Yeah. I don't have it on me. I'll have to bring it to you. 702: Okay. I'll be holding my breath. Nick: Mm-hmm. (NICK takes off his gloves, turns to look at CATHERINE, then holds out his hands in front of him fingers wide and growls.) (He walks away. CATHERINE remains in the hallway looking at the runners.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE] (GRISSOM sits and desolately counts the waterproof matches found in TOBY'S backpack.) Sara: (o.s.) Counting matches? (GRISSOM looks up to see SARA lingering in the doorway. Grissom: Yeah. (SARA walks into the office and stands in front of his desk.) Grissom: From the kid's room. I counted them yesterday. And I counted them this morning. Twenty. They're all there. I really don't know what I'm doing anymore. Sara: I got a theory. You want to hear it? (GRISSOM looks up at SARA.) Grissom: Sure. (She sits down.) Sara: You know the melted shards of glass we found on the closet floor? They prove that the fire burned at over a thousand degrees, right? But that temp, combined with the water used to douse the flames would have destroyed most of the accelerant. Grissom: That's what happens. (WARRICK walks into the office.) Sara: So, Ecklie's conclusion of gasoline wasn't based on any physical evidence. It was based on Damon's credit card receipts. Grissom: (shakes his head) I can't fault him for that. The burn pattern is consistent with a gasoline accelerant. Sara: But, hydrocarbons are found in all kinds of things: Oils ... kerosene, polyethylene-based compounds like laxatives-- even the foam used in push-up bras. Warrick: Yeah. Under the right conditions, any hydrocarbon can be an accelerant. (This perks GRISSOM up as he now has something to go on. He looks at SARA.) Grissom: Thank you. (to WARRICK) Warrick, you're driving. (SARA smiles back at GRISSOM. They both stand up.) Warrick: You ever worry about professional suicide? (He looks at WARRICK and answers brightly while shaking his head.) Grissom: Not while I'm committing it, no. (They turn to leave the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DAMON'S RESIDENCE - STREET -- DAY] (The Tahoe pulls up the side of the street and stops. They notice the large white van parked in the driveway and the clean-up crew taking out the items from the house. They watch as they move the burned mattress.) Sara: Crime scene cleanup. (GRISSOM whacks WARRICK'S arm to get his attention.) Grissom: (angry) Let's go. (They drive off.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- DAY] (GRISSOM charges in through the hallway looking for ECKLIE. He walks into the break room. WARRICK follows behind him.) Grissom: You son of a bitch. You swept my crime scene. You sent cleanup! Conrad Ecklie: I didn't send anyone. It's been on the books for months. Grissom: So you knew, and did nothing about it even with a man's life on the line? Conrad Ecklie: If you'd have checked the docket like everybody else you would've known what was happening. Coffee? (ECKLIE holds out the coffee pot and GRISSOM, being angry as he is, knocks the pot clear across the room where the carafe flies across the way, crashes and shatters into the wall. Broken glass mixed with hot coffee drips along the sides.) Conrad Ecklie: Guess you don't want cream with that. (ECKLIE leaves the break room. WARRICK turns and watches him leave. GRISSOM stands there and stares at the broken carafe, something stirring at the back of his mind.) (GRISSOM takes a step forward toward the broken glass and liquid, this appears to be very familiar to him.) (Quick flashback to: Extreme close up of the melted glass in the closet floor. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Camera close up of the broken glass and the hot coffee on the floor. GRISSOM makes the connection.) Grissom: Thanks, Ecklie. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PRISON - HALLWAY -- DAY] (RACHEL walks down the hallway after visiting with FRANK. GRISSOM makes his way through the hallway on his way toward FRANK. He looks up and sees her.) Grissom: Hi. Rachel: Hi. (GRISSOM turns around and stops her.) Grissom: Excuse me. My name's Gil Grissom. Rachel: I know. You're helping Frank. Thank you. (She turns to leave; GRISSOM stops her again.) Grissom: May I ask you a question? Rachel: Sure. Anything to help Frank. Grissom: You're his family. What was his relationship like with his wife and son? (She smiles.) Rachel: Frank was a wonderful father. Toby adored him. (She stops and excuses herself.) Uh, I'm sorry. I, um ... I have to get back to work. But thank you. (She leaves. GRISSOM watches her go for a moment before heading back to see FRANK.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PRISON - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM speaks with FRANK through the pexiglass.) Grissom: I broke a coffee pot today. Lost my temper. Anything like that ever happen to you? (FRANK doesn't say anything.) Grissom: We found shards of melted glass on the floor of your closet. You want to tell me about it? (FRANK still doesn't say anything.) Grissom: Okay, you can explain it in court. It's all part of the report now. (GRISSOM hangs up. FRANK looks startled and taps on the glass. He motions for GRISSOM to pick up the phone.) (GRISSOM picks it up.) Frank Damon: I didn't leave that night to buy ice cream. I was leaving Jeannie. (Quick flashback to: The night of the fire, FRANK stands in front of the closet, yelling at JEANNIE as he throws his clothes into a bag.) Frank Damon: I warned you. Jeannie Damon: Just a few things. Frank Damon: You can have the damn stuff! I told you this was the last time. Jeannie Damon: You going to leave us now? (He grabs more clothes out of the closet.) Frank Damon: I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. You can be broke by yourself! (JEANNIE turns and grabs some stuff of the bed side table.) Jeannie Damon: You want to leave? Fine! (She throws the things at FRANK. He ducks, but they hit him.) Jeannie Damon: Okay! Get out! Frank Damon: What the hell are you doing? Jeannie Damon: Get out! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Frank Damon: So I just got the hell out of there. Drove for about twenty minutes and then thought, how could I end ten years of our life like that? I mean, we had a son, so I turned around. Grissom: Wait a minute. Go back. What did she throw at you? Be specific. Frank Damon: (chuckles) Man, I just ducked and covered. I don't remember. Grissom: Think. Frank Damon: Uh ... a-a phone. A-a bag. Uh, a vase maybe? Grissom: What kind of a vase? Frank Damon: A flower vase? I don't remember any flowers. Grissom: Was it even a vase? Frank Damon: Look, I don't know. I can't remember. Grissom: (persistent) Was it glass? Could it have been glass? Frank Damon: Yes. It was glass. It was a glass lamp, because it had a wick. (Quick flashback to: The night of the fire, FRANK and JEANNIE argue. She throws things at him.) Jeannie Damon: Get out! Frank Damon: What the hell are you doing? Jeannie Damon: Get out! (She turns and grabs the glass lamp off of the night table.) Frank Damon: I'm leaving! Jeannie Damon: Just get out! (With both hands, she throws the lamp at FRANK. It misses him and shatters against the wall near the plug.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: Like a kerosene lamp? Frank Damon: Yeah. She bought a lamp like that. Grissom: I found kerosene on the floor of your closet. (Quick flashback to: Camera close up of the shattered kerosene lamp on the floor in the liquid. Camera moves slowly up toward the plug.) Grissom: (V.O.) The space heater overloaded the circuit causing a spark to ignite the kerosene. (The plug sparks and shorts out leaving a black scorch mark on the plastic.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Frank Damon: Can you prove it? In court? Grissom: (nods confidently) The evidence can. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MONACO CASINO - MAIN FLOOR -- DAY] (NICK crosses the main floor looking for runner 702. He walks up to the teller.) Nick: Hey, how you doing? Tony (teller 12): Hey. Who do you want? Nick: The runner ... um, 702. (NICK holds up the bill.) Nick: (smiles) I owe him a little cash. Tony (teller 12): This isn't the only place he hangs out but if you want me to give it to him ... Nick: Um ... you have an envelope I could use? Tony (teller 12): Yeah. (TONY reaches behind the counter to get the envelope. As he reaches over, NICK notices the watch on his left hand.) (TONY sniffles, then puts the envelope on the counter for NICK.) Nick: Nice watch. Tony (teller 12): Thanks. Nick: (curious) Thought you were getting out of this business. Tony (teller 12): Yeah, uh ... (TONY rubs his nose and sniffles again.) Tony (teller 12): it's my last day. Got a new job. Nick: (nods) Later. Tony (teller 12): Yeah. (NICK turns around to leave just as TONY sneezes. NICK stops and slowly turns around to look at TONY.) (TONY raises his eyes and looks at NICK.) (Quick flashback to: The night of the murder, JOEY HILLMAN gets into his car. He shuts the door. White flash to: TONY sits up in the seat behind JOEY, raises the gun at the back of his head and fires. Blood spurts on the front glass.) (TONY pushes JOEY forward against the steering wheel and takes the money.) Tony (teller 12): You're out of business, Joey. (TONY opens the door and steps out of the car. He sneezes onto the glass.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: New job, huh? Joey's old route? (steps toward TONY) Did you get so scared when you shot him that you forgot the money? Tony (teller 12): I want a lawyer. Nick: Well, you better get one that knows forensics ... (NICK runs his finger against the glass.) ... 'cause we got you. (to radio) Dispatch, victor 19. Code 462 on the 4-20 suspect Monaco. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PRISON -- DAY] (The GUARD opens the exterior wire gate just as FRANK DAMON walks through the interior wire gate. FRANK walks outside.) (Leaning against the Tahoe parked in front of the gate is GRISSOM. FRANK walks up to GRISSOM.) Grissom: Thought you might need a ride. Frank Damon: (smiles) Thanks. (then points to the side where RACHEL gets out of the parked car - license #EPI-523) ... I'm okay. (GRISSOM turns to look at FRANK.) Grissom: Your sister. Who is she? Frank Damon: Would you have helped me if I told you that my wife and I fought that night that I was leaving her for another woman? For Rachel? Grissom: I don't judge people. Frank Damon: It's funny. When I got out, I thought I'd feel ... (sighs) ... free. Grissom: And ... ? Frank Damon: I feel ... Grissom: ... responsible? (FRANK doesn't say anything and nods. He turns and heads for RACHEL. GRISSOM stands on the side as he watches them hug each other. FRANK picks RACHEL up in his arms and slowly swings her around.)	Plan: A: Sara; Q: Who is the woman who tries to clear a man accused of killing his wife and son? A: Warrick; Q: Who is the third person to help clear a man accused of killing his wife and son? A: an arson fire; Q: What was the cause of the death of the man's wife and son? A: day shift supervisor; Q: What was Conrad Ecklie's job? A: a parking; Q: Where was the teen who was shot dead found? Summary: Grissom, Sara and Warrick try to clear a man accused of killing his wife and son in an arson fire. They discover day shift supervisor Conrad Ecklie did some sloppy work. Meanwhile Catherine and Nick investigate the death of a teenage 'runner', who was shot at close range in a parking .
Provided by TVTDB.com (Izzie is waiting near the elevator, pacing) MVO: Doctors give patients a number of things. We give them medicine, we give them advice. And most of the time, we give them our undivided attention. (Alex, Lexie and a bunch of interns are in the elevator) Male Intern: I heard he saved a guy who coded yesterday, by himself. Female Intern: He just knows things...never messes up in rounds, always has the answer. Female Intern 2: And he's so calm. I'm always terrified, but he's, like, steady. Male Intern 2: Best intern ever. Alex: Hey, who are they talking about? Lexie: George O'Malley. Alex: Seriously? Don't they know that he... (Lexie shhs him) (Alex exits the elevator where is) MVO: But by far the hardest thing you can give a patient is the truth. Alex: You know O'Malley's got these morons snowed? They don't even know he's a repeater. Izzie: Yeah, whatever. (Derek, Meredith and Cristina are in the same elevator) Meredith: Hey. Derek: Hey. Meredith: How are you today? Derek: Good. Meredith: Great. MVO: The truth is hard. The truth... is awkward. And very often...the truth hurts. (They all exit the elevator where Izzie is standing. Derek and Meredith walk away) Izzie: Damn it. Meredith: Bye. Derek: Bye. Cristina: She's doing McDreamy. She's doing McDreamy and lying about it. Izzie: That's great. Cristina: She thinks I'm weak, that I'm fragile. Like I can't handle it 'cause of Burke. Izzie: Poor Cristina. All alone. Cristina: Damn right. Poor Cristina. (George finally exits the elevator) Izzie: George, what happened? MVO: I mean, people say they want the truth. But do they really? (Derek and Meredith have just finished having sx in a supply closet) Meredith: Do I have sx hair? Derek: Uh, if I did my job right. Meredith: You go ahead. Derek: What? Meredith: You go ahead. I'll wait a minute. Derek: So this isn't just breakup sx. This is secret breakup sx. Is this about cristina, this morning in the elevator? Meredith: I don't know. I don't know what to do, you know? We don't talk about it, the whole Burke thing. I mean, I want to be a good friend. I want to take care of her. But you don't take care of Cristina. Derek: Okay, so by being with me you're cheating on Cristina? Meredith: Just, if she knew about you and me... Derek: You'd have to talk about it. You'd have to talk about you and me, and it'd be a long conversation, and there'd be no time left over to talk about her. Meredith: I told you, we don't talk about it. (Alex is at the nurse's station with his interns) Alex: Pierce, you're in the pit. James, need you in peds. Laura, you're on scut. Laura: I was on scut yesterday. Alex: Oh, and just for that, you're on scut tomorrow get lost. (Richard walks up) Richard: Dr. Karev, this is dr. Normal Shales. Alex: Hey. Norman: Oh, a strong handshake. That's a good sign. Richard: Norman is transferring in from UCLA. I want him to work with you. Alex: Oh, are you the new OBGYN guy? Norman: I don't have a specialty yet. Richard: Norman is an intern. You'll be his resident. Alex: He's my intern? Norman: Don't worry, son. This tugboat's ready to pull his own weight. Richard: Age is just a number, right, Norman. Norman: Absolutely. Alex: Pretty important number. (Meredith walks up to the nurses station where Cristina is) Meredith: Hey. Cristina: Hey. (Cristina sounds sad) Meredith: You okay? Cristina: I don't know. I think it's all just hitting me...you know, stupid Burke dumping me and then stupid mama coming to reclaim her...magic necklace. Meredith: Do you want to talk about it? Cristina: No, not really, not... yet. Meredith: Okay. Well, if there's anything I can do... Cristina: You know, I just wish I had a good, bloody surgery. You know, bloody surgeries make me feel better. One, two, three, four... follow me. (Mark, Richard Meredith and her interns enter Connie's room) Elaine: Oh, Joanne, this is why you and I need to get sick, these doctors. Joanne: One's more handsome than the next. Connie: Oh, and here comes the handsomest one of them all. Hi, Dr. Webber. Richard: Connie. Connie: He took my appendix out three years ago. Barely left a scar. How's Adele? Richard: Um, oh, she's good, good. Uh, marriage is hard. Uh, but we're dating again. Uh, and she agreed to date me tonight...but, um...more...more importantly, how...how are you doing? Connie: Oh, I just had a little bump on my tongue removed is all. Couple of taste buds. Turns out it was a little touch of cancer. So I'm here to have the rest out. I mean, you know, the cancer, not the taste buds. I don't know exactly how bad it is because Dr. Sloan over there has been awfully quiet. Joanne: 'Cause you don't let him get a word in edgewise is why. Richard: Uh, how is she, Dr. Sloan? Mark: Well, we just got back the pathology report. Connie, unfortunately, the cancer is a bit more widespread than we'd hoped. It's over 60% of your tongue. Joanne: Well, what... what does she do, chemo? Mark: I think the, uh, best bet is a micro-vascular free flap. Dr. Grey? Meredith: Uh, he'll remove the cancerous part of the tongue, and then reconstruct it with a strip of flesh from your legs. George? George: Uh, the extra flesh will provide the bulk your tongue needs to breathe properly, chew, swallow. Connie: And talk? Dr. Sloan...I'll be able to talk, won't I? Mark: You will be able to talk, Connie. I just don't know how well you'll be understood. Elaine: You'll be okay. (Alex and Norman enter the clinic) Bailey: What are you doing in my clinic, Karev? I thought you didn't work in the clinic anymore. Alex: Oh, I don't, but I thought I could get my new intern Norman here settled in with you. Bailey's the best. You'll really learn from her. Bailey: Oh, pleased to meet you. You want to leave Norman with me while you troll for surgeries. Alex: The dude's got a bum hip, and he smells like arthritis cream. He can't keep up. Come on. Do me a favor ,and I'll do you a favor. Bailey: I'm calling in my favor now. Curtain five. You can take your intern and show him how we do an H&P. Nice to meet you, Norman. Norman: Thank you. (They walk over to curtain five) Alex: Hunter, uh, I'm Dr. Karev. This is Dr. Shales. What's, uh,what's going on? Mrs. Chapman: My son is on drugs. Hunter: I'm not on drugs, mom. Mrs. Chapman: I wasn't born yesterday. I know the signs. He's lethargic, irritable, and the last two months, his schoolwork's gone down the drain. Hunter: I'm not on drugs. Alex: Okay, there... there are a host of reasons why your son could be exhibiting those symptoms. Um, I think we should run some tests, see if there's any... Mrs. Chapman: But first a drug test, Dr. Shales. I'm right to want a drug test. Alex: Yeah, I...I just said that... Norman: Mrs. Chapman, you are not wrong. My Mary Beth, god rest her soul, was just like you. When one of our kids started heading down that slippery slope, she just knew it. You have a mother's instinct. Right, Dr. Karev? Alex: Yeah, right. (Izzie drags George into really old guy's room) Izzie: Okay. What happened? George, it's really old guy. We could bring a marching band in here, and he wouldn't know the difference. What happened with Callie? George: What happened? I... Izzie: I thought you were gonna tell her last night. George: I tried, but she would not let me. She... she wouldn't let me. I wanted to kill her, but then I couldn't kill her because she did help me through a lot of stuff. And it was a lot of stuff and, you know, she did help me through it. But then I wanted to kill her again, because who marries someone who just buried their father? And then I went to bed. Izzie: So what does this mean? (Izzie's interns enter) Izzie: What do you guys want? I told you I needed a minute before rounds. Intern: We heard you saved a guy yesterday. George: What? Izzie: Rounds. George: Excuse me. Izzie: We'll start in here. Graciella, what can you tell us about really old guy? Graciella: He has a name. Izzie: I know he has a name. We call him really old guy. Catch up. Graciella: 82-year-old,semicomatose male, uh, came in a year ago, status post fall and is post-op day 352 from... Izzie: Which basically means that he hasn't woken up for a year. So what's the treatment plan? (They all hesitate) Izzie: It's really very simple. Daily labs and dialysis three times a week. Really Old Guy: Don't bother with any more dialysis. I plan to die today, so it won't be necessary. Nice to meet you. And while I think really old guy is charming, in a "neglected patient" kind of way, my name is Charlie. Charlie Yost. (Izzie is in Charlie's room. Alex and Meredith enter) Meredith: Hey, I just heard. Welcome back. Alex: Is it true? Really old guy woke up? Izzie: He has a name. Charlie: This time tomorrow, you can call me really dead guy. Izzie: Guys, I don't think Mr. Yost knows who you are. Charlie: Sure I do. That's Meredith. She and the brain doctor are always running hot and cold. And you're, uh, Alex. You still got a thing for that old patient of yours? I was semi-comatose, blondie. I could still hear you guys. Izzie: Get a CT, a CBC and chemistries. Your kidneys may be working again, which may be why you woke up. That's good news. Charlie: Oh, it just means now I got two things to do today, take a pee and die. Izzie: Nobody's dying. (Richard walks up to Mark who is at the nurse's station) Richard: Functional muscle transfer. Mark: What? Richard: For Connie Williams. I was reading up on glossectomies and saw the procedure. Could micro-surgically re-innervate her hypo-glossal nerve. Mark: A nerve graft? It's too risky. A free flap's still your best bet. Richard: Oh, even if that goes well, you and I both know she'll never speak the same. That woman loves to talk more than anyone I know. (George walks up) George: What's a functional muscle transfer? Richard: You won't find it in the books, O'Malley. It's cutting-edge. You connect the nerves from the leg with the nerves from the tongue. Gives her a shot at really speaking. Mark: If it works. They've only done a half a dozen of them. Richard: Better than none. Sometimes you gotta push the envelope, Sloan. George: Why? Why is it better to do a surgery that neither of you have done than to do a surgery that you know at least gives her a chance to he a normal life? Do you know how to do this procedure? Richard: Are you saying that we're too old to learn new ways, O'Malley? George: No. Richard: Are you saying we're old dogs who can't learn new tricks? George: No, I just... Mark: We're not old dogs. Richard: We still got it. George: Okay. Mark: I did do a functional muscle transfer to restore elbow function once. Richard: Elbow, tongue... that's pretty close. Come on. What do you say? Let's light this candle. Mark: Yes, sir. Richard: Age is just a number, O'Malley. George: Oh, yes, sir. (Bailey enters the room where Callis) Bailey: I got Karev down in the clinic all day. Hope that's not a problem. Callie: Nope. Bailey: I know how you like to be told these things, so I'm telling you. Callie: Thank you. Bailey: Oh, he tried to dump a new intern on me... Karev. Clearly he's not interested in teaching. (George walks past the window) Bailey: Thank you for letting me know. (Mark and Derek are in an office) Mark: Do you ever feel old? Derek: I'm young. I'm a fetus. Mark: Nah, I mean you ever feel like there's gonna be a time when new techniques pass you by? Derek: I'm a genius and a scholar. Mark: Shut up. Derek: Meredith isn't telling Cristina about us. And, well, she tells Cristina everything. Mark: I thought you broke that off. Derek: I meant to. Mark: You think she's gonna want to get back together. Derek: No. Mark: You think she's gonna grow up and get all whole and...want a relationship. Derek: I do not. Mark: You're a bad liar. Derek: You're old. Mark: I'm just gettin' started, my friend. (Meredith walks up to the nurse's station where Cristina is) Meredith: Hey. You feeling any better? Cristina: I heard you're on that hemi-glossectomy. Meredith: The tongue surgery? Yeah. Cristina: Oh, here I am stuck in the pit with those know-nothing interns. You'd think eventually I'd catch a break. Meredith: Cristina...are we ever gonna talk about this, the Burke thing? Cristina: I'm not Izzie. I'm not gonna lie on the bathroom floor all day. I'm gonna lie here on the counter. Meredith: I'll trade you the hemi-glossectomy. Cristina: What? Meredith: You take the hemi-glossectomy, and I will take the ER. And your interns. Cristina: Are you sure? Meredith: Take the surgery if it makes you feel better. You're starting to freak me out. (Meredith walks away and Alex walks up) Alex: I saw the whole thing, Yang. You can stop pretending. Cristina: Oh, I'm not pretending. I'm sad. I'm very sad. Me so sad. Alex: Maybe I should try it, see if I can get Grey to take my new intern. Cristina: No. Hey, forget it. Sad is mine. Go find your own pretend emotion. (Charlie is yelling to Izzie who is outside his room) Charlie: Blondie! Hey, blondie. Izzie: Charlie...I have a million charts to update. I'm busy. Charlie: I want lobster. Izzie: What? Charlie: For my last meal. It's traditional. The dying man gets to choose what he wants to eat. I want lobster. Izzie: I'm not getting you lobster because you're not dying. I won't allow it. Charlie: A man can only hang on for so long, blondie. After a while, it's just not worth it. Izzie: Don't you have any friends, family, anyone? Charlie: They're all dead or on their way to dead. You'll understand someday when you're older, less naive. Izzie: I'm not naive. Charlie: You and what's his face, that's not naive? Izzie: I don't know what you're...we're not...he's not...you know about what's his face? Charlie: I know you're crazy if you think he's leaving his wife. Guys always say that. Izzie: Well, not that it's any of your business, but this is completely different. Charlie: I'm sure it's true love. I'm sure he's told his wife. I'm sure he's moved out. And I'm sure all your friends know, right? Izzie: Yeah. Charlie: By the way, I want real lobster, not that fake whitefish crap. (Meredith walks up to Lexie who is at a desk in the ER) Meredith: Hey, I'm filling in for Cristina. So how's it going? Lexie: I pulled a splinter out of a guy's toe, and now I'm writing about it. Meredith: Okay. Well, if you have any questions... Lexie: I have a lot of questions, just not about a splinter. Meredith: Okay. Lexie: Okay. (Ambulance driver enters with gurney) Ambulance Driver: 40-year-old unrestrained driver in a rollover MVC Meredith: Trauma one. Ambulance Driver: Lost vitals on the scene, and we were unable to intubate. Meredith: Lexie, let's go. Open the intubation tray. How long's he been down? Ambulance Driver: Took ten minutes to load him,14 to get here, so 24. Meredith: Push another epi. You know how to intubate? Lexie: Uh, I've never done it. Meredith: But you've seen it done? Lexie: Yeah, a couple of times. Meredith: Okay, come do one now. Lexie: Are you sure? Meredith: Visualize the cords, pull straight up, watch the tube go through the cords. Lexie: I...I...I can't see the cords. You should do this. Meredith: Okay, you can do it. Just don't rock up against the teeth. Just pull straight up. Nurse: Pulse ox is down to 86. (Meredith and Lexie are alone and the patient has obviously died) Meredith: That wasn't bad Lexie: What Meredith: That wasn't bad for your first intubation. Lexie: Is that some kind of joke? The guy is dead. He died. Meredith: He was dead when he came in here. He was dead on the scene. He was dead for 15 minutes in the ambulance. He was dead before I asked you to intubate. Lexie: You're pretty cavalier, don't you think? I mean, they brought him here for help. Meredith: They brought him here because they're legally required to. And I had you intubate because I'm required to teach you, and that is how you learn. Lexie: No. No, you should have done everything that you could. Meredith: That was everything I could. Lexie: Well, what kind of doctor are you? Meredith: What is this about? If you don't want to learn from me, that's fine. But I have to cover the pit today. So why don't you do both of us a favor and go help Bailey in the clinic? Lexie: Fine. Meredith: Fine. (Izzie sits down at a table with George) Izzie: Pretend I'm not here. Pretend I'm not busting in on you and pictures of... really disturbing tongues. But really old guy is giving me a hard time. I liked him so much better when he was sleeping, which he's not. He's awake. You've probably already heard. But my point is, is that he's stubborn. He's stubborn and really old, and he's telling me I'm an idiot for thinking yore gonna leave Callie. Seriously? We're in this together. You're gonna tell her tonight, right? George? George: I...I...I have to get this research done. Izzie: You're not gonna tell her. George: Wasn't it just yesterday when you said that you didn't want me to tell her? Izzie: Fine! Forget it. Just play with your stupid pictures of tongues. (Alex, and Norman go to talk to Mrs. Chapman) Norman: We got the tox screen back, Mrs. Chapman. Your son's not on drugs. Mrs. Chapman: You're sure? There's no drugs in his system? Norman: No, came back clean. Your son is fine. Mrs. Chapman: This is not my son, Dr. Shales. It's... not. Alex: Maybe we should order some more tests. Norman: You know, he's a teenager. I've raised four of 'em myself. Teenagers don't like to do their homework, they talk back to their parents, and they never come out of their rooms. Hunter: You have apple hair. I threw a pancake in the river, a pancake! Mrs. Chapman: Hunter... Alex: Do you know what you just said? Hunter: I'm... I'm not sure. Alex: Did you mean to say it? Hunter: No, I...I was trying to say that I wanted to go home. Mrs. Chapman: Oh, my god. Alex: Yeah, we need to do a full neuro exam. Order a head CT and labs, now. (Connie Williams room) Joanne: It's gonna be okay, you know? It is. It's gonna be okay. Connie: Do you think so? Joanne: Dr. Sloan's gonna do this fancy new surgery. Maybe you'll make it into the medical journals. Maybe be famous. Connie: What if the surgery doesn't work? What if this is my last chance to talk? I still have so much to say. Elaine: Say it now, Connie. Joanne: Don't be so morbid. The surgery will work. You'll be fine. Elaine: She should say it all now, Jo, just in case. She shouldn't have any more regrets. You can tell us anything, Connie. We're your best friends. George: You should tell them. I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry. But if you have something you want to say, you should say it. I've been here a while. I've been here long enough to know that things don't always go the way that you want them to, and if there's something you want to say, you should say it. Connie: Joanne, you've gotta stop wearing those pants. Joanne: What? Connie: Those pants make your ass look like two puppies are struggling to get out. As a matter of fact, all of your pants are too tight. You have to buy some new pants. And, Elaine, your breath is god-awful. Elaine: My breath? Connie: I mean, you need to see a doctor or something because I know you have good hygiene, but sweet god, your breath is bad. And you've got to get a new hairdo. The '80s are over, honey. [SCENE_BREAK] (Izzie enters Charlie's room, Tyler is there) Izzie: What now? Tyler: He keeps pulling off his monitor leads. I told him he can pull 'em off all day, he's still not gonna die. Charlie: I'm sick and tired of waiting. Izzie: Yeah? Well, I'm sick and tired of coming to your room every five minutes. Charlie: Sorry, blondie. It's time I took things into my own hands. Izzie: Oh, you know what? You want to die? Fine. Here. Let me help you. You missed this one. Damn. You're still with us. Oh, wait. This looks promising. A nice, thick wire. How's that? Any luck? No? Well, no wonder. That's why. It's attached to this lamp. okay. Well, let's see what else we got. Tyler: Dr. Stevens. Izzie: What? Tyler: Dr. Stevens, he's not breathing. Izzie: What? Tyler: He doesn't have a pulse. He's in cardiac arrest. Izzie: I swear to god, I didn't do anything. (Izzie, Tyler and the crash team are trying to revive Charlie) Izzie: Are the epi and atropine in? Tyler: Epi's in. I'm pushing atropine now. Izzie: Hold CPR, let's see what happens. Tyler: Looks like v-fib. Izzie: Charge the paddles,300. Clear. Tyler: No change. Izzie: Charge again. Clear. Doctor: I've got a pulse. Izzie: Charlie? Charlie? Charlie: Stop saving my life. (George is walking through the hall with Connie on her way to surgery) Connie: I can't believe I said all that. Do you believe I said all that? George: Not really, no. Connie: You think I hurt their feelings? I mean, real bad hurt their feelings? You think they'll forgive me? You told me. You told me to tell them. You told me to say everything. You said it would be okay. George: I'm really sorry. (Lexie enters the clinic and walks over to Bailey) Lexie: Dr. Bailey, Dr. Grey sent me down here to work with you. Bailey: Oh, she did, did she? And why is that? Lexie: Truthfully? Uh, she didn't want to work with me anymore. She kicked me out. Bailey: You can go and tell Dr. Grey that the clinic is not a dumping ground for strays. We are not the island of broken interns. Please go tell her that. Lexie: Please don't make me do that. I...I can't work with her, with Meredith Grey. I...I...I can't work with her because I can't look at her. 'Cause she hates me, she hates my dad, she obviously hated my mother, and I am...please just...just let me work down here today. Please, Dr. Bailey. Bailey: Kid in curtain three needs stitches. Go. (Derek enters the CT examining room where Alex and Norman are looking at Hunter's CT) Derek: Okay, what do you got, Karev? Alex: A teenager came in...the clinic this morning, he was lethargic, irritable, dysphasic. Derek: Right. I'm sorry. I don't know you. Norman: Uh, Norman Shales, up from UCLA. Derek: Are you neuro? I thought I knew all the neuro guys down there. Alex: Norman's an intern, Dr. Shepherd. My intern. Derek: Welcome to the program. Norman: Thank you. Derek: Good. Okay, what do we got? Oh, look at this. Kid's got hydrocephalus. It's pushing up against his Broca's area. Yeah, which explains the screwed up speech. Norman: I was sure it was drugs. Well, that's what happens when you're...you're a pharmacist for 30 years. You're sure that everybody's hooked on pills or reefer. Derek: Right. Norman: I won't make that mistake again. No, sirree. Derek: Right. Okay. Um, we need to put in a shunt. Yeah, schedule an OR. Then we'll go talk to Hunter and his mom. Norman: Will do, captain. (Norman leaves the room) Alex: Guy doesn't know when to shut up. He does it with the patients, too. Derek: Well, you're his resident. Alex: I know, I know, but it'd be like yelling at my grandfather. (Cristina walks up to Izzie who is at the nurse's station.) Cristina: Hey. I heard about really old guy. What's the matter? Couldn't find his LVAD wire? Izzie: It was a coincidence, and he's still alive. Cristina: Well, have fun with really old guy. I'm off to do Meredith's... hemi-glossectomy. (Cristina walks away and Meredith walks up) Izzie: Oh, hey. Hey, has George said anything to you... Meredith: She's faking. She's faking sadness, pretending to be sad to steal my surgeries. Izzie: Okay, I have a really old guy trying to kill himself and problems of my own. So I don't have time for the two of you and your fake drama. (Izzie is in Charlie's room) Charlie: A person wants to die, you let them. It's polite. Izzie: Not in a hospital, it's not. In a hospital, it's a lawsuit. Charlie: I don't like you. Izzie: Really? 'Cause I thought we were BFFs. Charlie: You know what? Just for that, I'm dying right now. (Charlie strains really hard) Izzie: That might make you poop your pants, but it's not gonna make you die. Charlie: Oh, damn it. Izzie: You really think he's not gonna leave his wife? Charlie: I think if a person wants to do something, like die, they do it. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's hope. Maybe he'll tell her, and you two will get together and end up happy. Izzie: You think? Charlie: Not that I'll be alive to see it. Izzie: You're not dying, Charlie. Not on my watch. Charlie: Dead man walking. Izzie: I don't see much walking, Charlie. (Bailey enters the room where Callie still sitting) Bailey: Uh, you know Yang and Grey are playing musical chairs with their interns? Callie: Oh? Bailey: I mean, I just thought that might interest you, seeing as how one of Yang's interns is actually one of Grey's relatives...and the two Grey's are having some kind of family feud. I'm just saying, it would probably be best if the residents stuck with their own interns in the future. Callie: Yeah. I got it. Thanks. Bailey: You plan to hide out in here all day long, or you plan to emerge at some point and do your job? Callie: Why would I come out there to do my job when you clearly do it so much better? I'm doing paperwork, Miranda, because I don't have any more fight in me. I...I don't want to fight you. I don't fight my...I...I don't...I don't want to fight today. So...I'm doing paperwork. Okay? (Mark and Richard are in Connie's surgery) Mark: The graft's a perfect fit. Richard: It's got good vascularization. Mark: And at this rate, you may actually get to go on that date with Adele. Richard: Yeah, I better. Can't very well have her take me back if I cancel our first date. George: Where you taking her, chief? Richard: Oh, there's a nice little Chinese restaurant we like to go to. Mark: Hmm. Cristina: What happens next? Richard: Dr. Sloan, I don't... Mark: I know. George: Is everything okay Mark: Um...we're not sure. George: What does that mean? Mark: It means we've never done this before. (They are still trying to figure out how to proceed with Connie's surgery) Richard: What about if we coapt the lingual nerve underneath here? Mark: No, we'd end up losing the vascular supply. The graft might not work at all. Richard: She likes to talk, Sloan. She likes to talk a lot. Mark: We need an extra set of hands. Someone who knows nerves. Richard: O'Malley, get Dr. Shepherd. George: Yes, sir. (George is walking in the hall with Derek) Derek: A functional muscle transfer of the tongue? George: It was looking good for a while, but, um... (Derek walks toward the OR and George sees Izzie) George: I'll be right there. Derek: Yeah. (George enters a conference room with Izzie) George: Izzie... Izzie: What? What is there to say, George, I'm a blondie. I'm the other woman. I'm a bad '50s clich�? George: No, no, no. We're not in this together. Izzie: Wow. Great. Well, thank you for letting me know. George: Hey no, no. No. You don't get to be mad here. Izzie: Seriously? We said... George: No, no, no, no. There is no "we. " It's just me. I'm the one who has to tell Callie. I'm the one who has to destroy her. This is not about you and me. This is about her and me. I'm ending a marriage to a wonderful woman. Me. I'm the one. It's not you. You... it's not something you just blurt out. It's not. I'll do it. I will do it. You have to back off and let me do it. Izzie: I'm sorry. (Bailey and Meredith are walking in the ER together) Bailey: You traded...a hemi-glossectomy for the pit? Meredith: It's a long story. Bailey: A long story that ends with you pawning off Lexie Grey on me? Meredith: I had her do an intubation on a dead guy. It's something you used to have us do all the time. I was trying to teach her. Whatever she told you... Bailey: She told me you hate her. Meredith: I don't... Bailey: And that you hated her mother... Meredith: I didn't say that. Bailey: Her mother, who came to you with a case of hiccups and died in our hospital. Do you see where I'm going with this? Meredith: She's not my intern. Bailey: No, she's your sister, and you haven't had a kind word to say to her since she got here. And you were her mother's doctor. Now what is she supposed to think? Look, whether you like it or not, your job is to help that girl be a better doctor. So help her. (Izzie walks up to Tyler) Izzie: You paged me? Tyler: Really old guy...He's checked out AMA. He's leaving the hospital. Izzie: What? He can't leave. He's sick. He can barely walk, and I got him lobster. (Alex enters the clinic to find Hunter on the floor) Alex: I got a 911.What happened? Nurse: He collapsed. Mrs. Chapman: He started talking that nonsense talk and... Alex: His pupil's blown. His brain's starting to herniate. Page shepherd. Norman, take over the bag. We gotta get him up on the bed. Mrs. Chapman: What's happening? Alex: Count of three. One, two, three. Mrs. Chapman: What's happening to my son? Alex: Spinal fluid's backing up. It's putting pressure on his brain. Nurse: Shepherd's not answering his page. Alex: Try it again. (Bailey walks up) Alex: What do I do? Bailey: Uh, hyperventilation... mannitol... I don't know everything. Go. Get Shepherd. Go. (Alex runs to and enters Connie's OR) Alex: Dr. Shepherd. Derek: I'm a little busy right now making medical history, Karev. Alex: Hunter Chapman's brain is herniating. His right pupil just blew. Derek: Okay, you need to do exactly what I say, or that kid's gonna be dead in the next ten minutes. Can you do that? Alex: Yes, sir. Derek: Okay, get the biggest needle you can find. (Alex runs into the hall, grabs a needle then runs over to Hunter) Mrs. Chapman: Dr. Karev, what's going on? Bailey: Where's Shepherd? Mrs. Chapman: Dr. Karev Norman: I...I think it might help Mrs. Chapman... Mrs. Chapman: What are you doing? Alex: Get her out of here. Norman: Well, she is the boy's mom. Alex: Get her out of here, Norman. Get her out! Mrs. Chapman: What are you doing? Norman: Mrs. Chapman, he's trying to help. (Norman moves Mrs. Chapman from the bedside) Mrs. Chapman: What are you doing? Bailey: What are you doing? Alex: Hold his head. Shepherd told me what to do. (Alex sticks the needle in behind Hunter's eye) (Izzie enters Charlie's room) Izzie: Charlie...you can't go. I know that you think your life is over. I know you feel like you don't have anybody. But your life's not over and...and you have me. You have me. I need you. I need somebody to talk to. Because I think you may have been right before. I don't think George is gonna leave his wife. And I need you to tell me what to do. I...I need some...you can't go, Charlie. Charlie? (She walks over to him and finds that he has died) Charlie? Crap. (Alex and Mrs. Chapman are at Hunter's side) Mrs. Chapman: All this time he was telling me the truth Alex: Once we get the shunt in, any excess spinal fluid will drain to his abdomen. He's gonna be okay. Excuse me. (Alex walks over to Norman) Alex: I'm sorry I unloaded on you, Norman. You know how it is? Heat of the moment. Bailey: Don't apologize to him. Alex: What? Norman: Oh, Dr. Bailey's right. It... Bailey: Shut up, Norman. I'm not talking to you. He got in your way. He's been doing it all day, and when that happens...when an intern gets in the way of a resident...you're not doing what's best for your patient. Now you almost missed diagnosing that kid today because Norman here thought it was drugs. So don't apologize. He should be yelled at. Alex: Dr. Bailey... he's as old as the hills. Bailey: I don't care how old he is, Dr. Karev. He's still an intern, and interns are basically teenagers. We are not hard on them because it's fun. We're hard on them because this is a life-and-death job. They need to learn that. There is a reason why we have a pecking order in a hospital. It saves lives. (Mark, Derek and Richard are in the scrub room cleaning up from the surgery) Mark: I think that woman's gonna be able to talk for the rest of her life thanks to us. Richard: I think I still got it. Mark: I think you do, too. Now we just gotta figure out what you're gonna tell Adele. Richard: Oh, man. I forgot about that. Mark: Yeah. First off, don't tell her you want to move back in. Richard: No? Mark: Reeks of desperation. It's a deal breaker. Trust me. Derek: You know what? I can't take this anymore. You guys are kidding yourselves. You know how close you idiots came to that woman losing her tongue, to her never speaking again? Oh, yeah, you were a couple of cowboys in there, telling yourselves you can do this, acting like the big boys. You had no business doing that surgery. No business. Lucky I came in when I did. Shame on you. And shame on you. As for Adele, tell her you can't imagine your life without her. Tell her for the last month you been walking around this hospital at night just thinking about her. Tell her the truth. I'm sorry I called you an idiot. (Derek leaves the scrub room) (Meredith walks up to Cristina in the hall) Meredith: Hey. So I've been thinking about how you're sad, and what I can do to help. Cristina: Oh, you have another surgery? Meredith: No, that's not what you need. Cristina: Well, it kind of is. Meredith: No, what you need is me and my time. So I thought we could go back to my house and get into our pajamas. Just sit and talk about this whole Burke thing and really get to the root of your feelings. Just talk all night long if we have to. Cristina: Talk. Meredith: Talk...and cry. Cry. Cristina: You know. Meredith: You're damn right I know, surgery stealer. Cristina: So, person-who-is-sleeping-with-Derek? Meredith: How'd you know that? Cristina: What, you think I'm too fragile to handle your sx life? Meredith: Well, he did leave you at the altar. And I'm your person. Cristina: How, by...by "protecting me"? That's not how to be my person. That's not what we do. You know that. I'm dealing. Okay? The best I can. So if you need to take care of someone, you're gonna need to take care of someone else. Okay? Meredith: Fine. But you owe me a surgery. Cristina: Yeah, well, you owe me sx details. (Alex walks up) Alex: Are we doing this or not? (They all enter Charlie's room) Cristina: What are we supposed to say? We didn't even know the guy. Izzie: We ate lunch in here for a year. The least we can do is say a few kind words about him. George: Me? He...he didn't snore too loudly... Meredith: He, um... never complained. And he always took his meds. Alex: Hardly ever farted. Meredith: Alex. Alex: Fine. Uh, he had 12 surgeries this year, and he...he lived through them. That's...that's impressive. Izzie: Thank you, Alex. Cristina? Cristina: Uh, I got to practice stuff on him...central lines and IVs...it was good practice. Izzie: Um...Charlie, the truth is...you were a bstrd. You were. You were mean and stubborn and just...a bstrd. But you were a bstrd who knew what you wanted. And you stuck to your guns and proved that if you want something badly enough, if you're...determined enough and patient enough, eventually it will happen. It will. And that gives me hope, so...thanks for that. Bye-bye, Charlie. MVO: The truth is painful... (George is in Connie's room) George: It went really well. Your friends, uh...I am so sorry. I haven't seen them. (Joanne and Elaine enter) Joanne: How'd she do? George: Great. She did great. Joanne: She's gonna talk again? George: Yeah, the chances are very good. Joanne: In that case, we have a few things we'd like to say. your first husband, he put his hand on my ass every chance he got. Elaine: And your second husband, he spat when he talked, and plus, he was ugly. We know that you thought he was handsome, but the man was a troll. Joanne: And that guy you dated last year, comb-over guy...Oh, my god. MVO: Deep down, nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. (Meredith walks up to Lexie who is in the clinic) Lexie: What? Meredith: I have your mother's death note here. Everything that happened on the day she died is in here, and I know because I wrote it. So, I'd like to go over with you if that's okay. Lexie: Yeah. Meredith: Ok first of all let me just say that everything that happened that day every set back there was one percent chance of each of those things happening one percent and your mother was the one percent. She came in complaining of persisting hiccups. We did an endoscopy out of obligation. Lexie: You did an endoscopy? Meredith: So it would be out-patient procedure, we wanted to avoid major surgery. For what it's worth I was very fond of your mother. She was...I was very fond of her. She got bacterial endocarditis. MVO: Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. (Bailey enters the room where Callie still is) Bailey: I've been having trouble with this whole pecking order of things it's...I've been having trouble cause I'm used to be a number one. But I am not number one, not any more. So the best I can come up with is to be number two. The best damn number two this hospital has ever seen But your number two. I will... I will help you. We'll be like a team. Because...look, girl, you just seem to be having a hard time and I know I am having a hard time but together...we could... do this. I just think we can do this together. MVO: Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say aloud to really hear for ourselves. (Ale, Lexie, George and some interns are in the elevator) Female Intern: You got to reattach the woman's tongue. George: I was there, I didn't actually do the reattaching. Male Intern: Still you are the intern they wanted on that case. Alex: He is a repeater. Male Intern: What? Alex: Your big hero here, he was an intern last year. That's why he got to know some of the stuff. He's already been through it. But if you want learn from someone really, really learn, go to a resident, not this dude. George: All right, he's right if you want to emulate someone, it's definitely not me. I'm not that guy. MVO: And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. (Norman stares at Alex) Alex: What the hell are you looking at? Interns. MVO: And sometimes we tell them because...we owe them at least that much (George enters the hotel room where Callie is) Callie: Just say it. George: I slept with Izzie.	Plan: A: his coma; Q: Where did the "really old guy" awaken from? A: his life; Q: What is the "really old guy" trying to end? A: pressure; Q: What does Izzie put on George to end things with Callie? A: their hotel room; Q: Where do Callie and George find themselves tense? A: Bailey confronts; Q: Who confronts Callie about her efforts? A: Chief Resident; Q: What is Callie's title at the hospital? A: Meredith's teaching technique; Q: What is the reason for Meredith and Lexie's rocky relationship? A: Cristina; Q: Who begins faking sadness to get more surgeries? A: Alex; Q: Who tells the other interns that George is repeating his internship? A: Norman; Q: Who is Alex's new intern? A: a patient; Q: Who does Alex have to perform a procedure on that he's not familiar with? A: Derek; Q: Who reminds Mark and Webber of the risk they took? A: a surgery; Q: What did Mark and Webber attempt to do that neither had performed before? Summary: When the "really old guy" awakens from his coma, Izzie becomes aggravated with him over his attempts to end his life. Izzie puts pressure on George to end things with Callie. Callie and George find themselves both very tense in their hotel room. Bailey confronts Callie over the amount of effort that she is putting in as Chief Resident. Meredith and Lexie's rocky relationship continues because of Meredith's teaching technique, but Bailey intervenes in order to help Lexie develop. Cristina begins faking sadness to get more surgeries. Alex gets a new intern, Norman, and is forced to do a procedure he's unfamiliar with on a patient when Derek becomes unavailable. Mark and Webber attempt a surgery neither has performed before, and Derek has to remind them of the risk they took. Alex tells the other interns that George is repeating his internship.
Vienna. Inside a club. Sydney walks past Vaughn, carrying a tray with drinks. Vaughn is sitting at a bar. They both have on disguises. It's dark and loud music is playing. Sydney keeps walking and up some stairs. A guy stops her. They speak foreign language. Anthony: You didn't take their order. Sydney: I know what they want. Anthony: Do you know what I want? Sydney: Why do men always want what they can't have? He moves aside and Sydney walks over to where Dixon, Kradic, and Aleksander, and a bodyguard. are sitting. She lays a paper on the table next to Dixon, looks at him, and hands him a drink. She hands drinks to the others. Dixon: What's taking so long? Kradic: You're an impatient bstrd, aren't you? Dixon: Time is money. Kradic: (unworried) The hydrosec will be here soon, at which point we'll move on to the next stage. Dixon: Which is? Kradic: Dispersal. (Sydney leaves) For now, we'll relax and enjoy ourselves. (picks up his glass) Cheers. Sydney: (to comms to Marshall, Sloane, and Nadia, who're at APO) Outrigger's armed. He's in VIP with Kradic and 2 others. Expect delivery of hydrosec any minute. Sloane: Good work, Phoenix. Once delivery is confirmed, we need to take every precaution to ensure the hydrosec remains stable. Nadia: Have we confirmed the method of transport? Sloane: It was Jack's responsibility. He hasn't checked in yet, this morning, has he? Nadia: No. (shakes her head) Marshall: Now, it'll most likely arrive in a large metal, biometric case- y'know, the kind that are usually named after large multinational corporations. Sloane: Shotgun, what's your status? Vaughn: No sign of Kradic's men yet. We see suspicious looking man from previous episode pick up a glass and walk off. Kradic's phone rings and he answers. Kradic: (into phone) Yeah? (pause) Good. (hangs up) Dixon: The hydrosec's here? Kradic: Out front. Dixon: About time. Sydney heard that on comms. She nods to Vaughn, who nods back. Suspicious looking man places a chip inside his glass. Vaughn starts walking and sees a couple of guys walking, carrying a briefcase. Vaughn: (on comms) Got a visual on the hydrosec. Suspicious looking man walks over to Sydney and places his glass on her tray and walks away. Sydney watches him go. She hears the glass beeping. Sydney: Vaughn, take cover! She throws the tray against the far wall and runs and ducks behind the corner of the other wall. The glass explodes. People start running and screaming. Kradic and his men start running. Dixon picks up the gun Sydney gave him earlier. Sloane: Phoenix, what's happening? Suspicious-looking man touches something on a palm pilot, and another wall explodes. The briefcase is on the ground, Sydney, Dixon, and suspicious-looking man go for it. People continue to run and scream. Sydney attacks the suspicious-looking man. Syd wins, of course. Sydney: Drop the gun or lose your arm. (he drops it and then swings at her) Vaughn runs in to grab the briefcase. Aleksander grabs him and puts his gun to Vaughn's head. Aleksander: Don't move! Dixon comes up and shoots Aleksander. One of Kradic's men knocks Vaughn to the floor. Kradic shoots at Dixon, who hides. Kradic spies the briefcase on the ground. Kradic takes the briefcase and makes a run for it. Vaughn punches out the guy who tackled him. Dixon starts running after Kradic. Dixon: (to Vaughn) I'm on it! Sydney continues to battle suspicious-looking man until she gets thrown on the floor. Sloane: Phoenix, what's going on? Sydney: Third party tried to intercept the hydrosec. I'm in pursuit. (follows man outside where she loses him) Kradic is running down a corridor. He pulls out some the hydrosec and opens a container connected to the pipes. Vaughn and Dixon come in with their guns raised. Kradic: Put the gun down! Or this goes into the drinking water! I said put them down! Vaughn and Dixon do so, momentarily. Dixon quickly raises his gun again and shoots Kradic and he falls over. Vaughn: (on comms) Send in the biohazard team. We need to contain the hydrosec. Nadia: On their way. Outside. Night. Suspicious-looking man is on the phone. Elena: So the CIA has the hydrosec? Man: They got lucky. If I can find out where they took it, I can get it back. Elena: Leave that to me. Come to Los Angeles. Contact me when you get here. (she is in Sydney's apartment) Sophia/Elena walks into the kitchen. Nadia is there. Nadia: Everything all right? Sophia: Oh, yes. Just making a hotel reservation. Nadia: Sophia, you just got here. They speak Spanish. Sophia: You've been too generous as it is. I will check into a hotel and I'll visit. Nadia: Sophia, you have to stay. I want you to be with me as long as you can. Stop being so stubborn. Back to English. Sophia: (smiles) Didn't I used to say that to you? Nadia: Stay. I insist, we want you to be here. Please. Sophia: All right. But you must tell me the minute I become a burden. Nadia: I promise. APO Sydney walks to Vaughn at his desk. Sydney: Hey Vaughn (looks up): Hey Sydney: Have you seen my father? Vaughn: Nothing yet, huh? Sydney: I'm worried. I left him like a dozen messages. He was supposed to report in 2 days ago. Vaughn: So what do you want to do about it? Jack's apartment building. It's kinda fancy in an old sort of way. Vaughn and Sydney step out of the elevator. They walk down the hallway. Vaughn: So, this is where your dad lives, huh? Sydney: Yeah, what did you expect? Vaughn: I don't know. A bunker or something. So, you've really never been here. Sydney: No. Vaughn: That's very strange. Sydney: As opposed to everything else about my relationship with my father. 301. Here it is. (First, she knocks. Then decides to pick the lock, and opens the door.) Dad? Inside we see a well-kept living room. With dark brown leather couches. It's spotless. Vaughn: Not much for clutter, is he? Sydney: No. She goes over to an end table and picks up a picture of herself. She places it back and sees what looks like a bowl of pet food on the floor. Not all of the food is in the bowl. Some of it is on the ground. Vaughn: Sydney, come here, look at this. (he's paging through a journal) Body temperature, blood pressure, blood cell counts. He's monitoring his vitals. (we see inside the book, it says, "Radiation Treatment Protocols") Sydney enters the bathroom and sees finds pill bottles by the sink. In the trash can are a bunch of bloody syringes. Sydney looks like she's about to cry. APO Marshall walking quickly through APO. Nadia: Marshall. Marshall: Oh, hey, did you hear the news? I get to run an initial analysis on the hydrosec this afternoon. I love level 4 biohazard toxins. Nadia (smiles): My father asked me to give you this artist's sketch based on descriptions from Sydney and Vaughn. (she hands him a drawing of suspicious-looking man) He wants to know if you can- Marshall: Run a biometric match. Yeah, but off a sketch it's a bit tricky. Nadia: Can you do it? Marshall: Flinkman doesn't know the meaning of failure. One ugly puss, huh? Muy feo. Elena and suspicious-looking have been listening to the conversation. Elena: Now they have a picture of you. Man: They have a cartoon drawing. They'll never get a positive I. D. off that. Elena: You underestimated them in Vienna, and we lost the hydrosec. Man: Lucky break. Elena: Nadia has a laptop with APO access. She brings it home every night. We may be able to use it to find the hydrosec. How long would it take you to hack in to it? Dr. Liddel's office. Jack rolls down his sleeve to cover a piece of gauze. Liddel: I'm afraid our options are limited, Jack. The white blood cell anomalies are not what we'd hoped for. (he's looking at some papers) Jack: Limited, not exhausted. (he puts on his jacket) Liddel: Science is full of happy accidents. Alexander Fleming spent years trying to figure out how to treat bacterial infection. He needed a vacation so bad, he forgot to wash his Petri dishes before leaving the lab. So he comes back, a week later, well rested, tanned, and what's he faced with? A stack of moldy dishes. But he looks a little closer, and son of a gun. Not an iota of bacteria growing anywhere near the mold. Penicillin. Just a happy accident. Jack: Fascinating anecdote, although its relevance to my condition isn't exactly- Liddel: I have spent most of my career researching genetic mutations. Mostly in rats. I like rats. Much smarter than they're given credit for. These little buggers were exposed to the mother lode of radiation. I was distracted one day-problems with my wife-and I accidently gave them a lethal dose of an alkylating agent. But lo and behold, a few of my rats survived. Milo lived to the ripe old age of 4 Jack: That's something. Liddel: Yes, but 84% of my rats were dead within a week. And given what they went through, death was a blessing. Jack: We both know the prognosis for my condition. I don't see that I have a choice Liddel: This alkylating agent was discontinued decades ago. It's considered too lethal, even in a controlled environment. Jack: I have contacts. I'm sure I can procure the necessary chemicals. Liddel: Here's what we need. (he pulls a piece of paper out of a cabinet) Jack, as one friend to another, these drugs are nasty. If they don't cure you- Jack: I'll turn out like one of your rats. I'll be in touch. APO Marshall's lab. He's searching for suspicious -looking man on the computer. Nadia walks in. Nadia: Come up with anything on that assailant? Marshall: Not yet. But I am writing an algorithm into the program too speed things up, so. . . Nadia: (her cell phone rings) Excuse me. (she leaves the lab, and into phone) Hello. Sophia: I hate to bother you at work, but I was hoping I could make dinner for you and Sydney and our boyfriends tomorrow night. Nadia: Sophia, you don't have to. (she walks over to Weiss's desk) Sophia: It would mean so much to me after all you've done. Nadia: (to Weiss) Are we free for dinner tomorrow? Weiss: Dinner, food, are you kidding me? Yes. Nadia: It's fine for us, but I have to check with Sydney and Vaughn. Sophia: Great. Monkeys. In cages. Some lab somewhere. Science guy Anthony working with chemicals. Anthony: Jack. Jack: Were you able to get what I requested? Anthony: Yeah, sure. Jack: Cute. (looks at the monkeys) Anthony: Listen, I need you to promise me there's no way this is gonna get traced back to me. Jack: I'm familiar with your concerns. Anthony: Look, Jack, I don't mean to be presumptuous, tell you how to handle your business, but the human body is not designed to handle this stuff. Whoever this poor guy is you're gonna be torturing- Jack: Curious morality coming from a guy who kills monkeys for a living. Anthony: What I'm saying-be conservative. (hands him 2 small bottles filled with blue liquid) A few CCs at a time, or you're gonna be out of fun before it begins. Jack: Thanks for the advice. Anthony: So this-this pays off my debt to you, right? Jack: Be seeing you Anthony. APO Marshall and Sydney in Marshall's lab. Sydney: I need a favor. Marshall: Sure, what can I do for you? Sydney: Pull up everything you've got on alkylating agents. And cross-reference it with radiation sickness. Marshall: Okay. Kind of an odd combination. (starts typing) What exactly are you looking for? Sydney: Something's wrong with my dad. I have to get to the bottom of it. Marshall: (stops cold for a second) Coming right up, just uhh. . . Sydney: Marshall, what's wrong with my father? Marshall: Hmm? Sydney: You know, don't you? Marshall: It was after your mission to Yakutsk. Sydney: Yeah? Marshall: (starts typing more and pulls up report of the mission) God, he pulled the fuel right out of the core reactor. He told me not to tell you. He actually made me swear on Mitchell's life, but seeing that you came in here to me, I guess I didn't really violate- Sydney: I thought you shut down the reactor from here. Marshall: So did I, at first. But then you got trapped in the experimental chamber, and he thought it would be best if he went inside, and- Sydney: Marshall, whatever information you have, on his treatment, I need it now. Marshall: Syd. . .there is no treatment. I mean I have been all over the medical journals, harassing researchers that I know- some that I don't know. (Sydney puts her hand to her forehead) If there was a treatment, I would have found it by now. Sydney walks into Sloane's office. Sloane: Sydney, what is it? Sydney: We have to find my father. APO Breifing room. Gang, excluding Jack is sitting around the table. Sloane: Jack Bristow is in need of immediate medical attention. Currently, he's off the grid. We've tried all usual avenues of communication. Sydney: We have contacted every hospital and private practice in Los Angeles county. No one has record of treating him. Dixon: Maybe he checked in using an alias. Marshall: Well, we considered that, but the genetic mutation he experienced would require any doctor to make special note, and nothing matching your father's criteria has been reported. Sydney: The truth is, whatever my father has, it isn't treatable. If he's as sick as we think he is, it's likely that his mental faculties are impaired. Vaughn: Which means, someone might be preying on Jack using the false promise of a cure. Sloane: We must act quickly. If someone is actively trying to harm Jack, he may be in no position to defend himself. Jack walks into Liddel's office. Liddel: How did it go? (Jack hands the 2 bottles to him) All right. I'll prepare this and we're ready to go. (points to nurse) Connie will take care of your personal belongings. Connie: How are you feeling today, Mr. Bristow? Jack: Hopeful. APO Weiss: (on computer) We got a hit. (to Marshall) Jack just used a drive-thru ATM on 9th about 20 minutes ago, down near staples center. Marshall: Great. (on computer) I'll log onto the traffic surveillance network, see if I can spot his car leaving the bank. (finds what he's looking for) Fantastic. Sydney and Vaughn are driving in a car. Sydney is on the phone, Jack's answering machine picks up. Sydney: Come on dad, pick up your phone. Jack: Please leave your name and number with a brief message- Sydney: (hangs up the phone) Damn it! Vaughn: Syd, we'll find him. Marshall: (to Weiss) Okay, I got it. Sydney's phone rings. Sydney: Yeah, Marshall? Marshall: We found his car, it's parked outside a building on Pierpont. Sydney: (to Vaughn) Do you know where Pierpont is? Vaughn: Yeah, about 5 minutes out. Sydney: (to phone) Oh, thank you Marshall. Remind me to kiss you. Marshall: Uh, okay. Weiss: What? What'd she say? Marshall: Uh, nothing. Dr. Liddel's office. Jack is in the chair. It has restraints. Liddel: Everything's set. The whole procedure should take about 4 hours. Jack: What are these restraints for? Liddel: Uh, some patients go into convulsions when they're unconscious. I didn't want you to hurt yourself. Jack, have you thought about talking to Sydney? (he puts on the restraints) Jack: I do keep to many secrets. When this is behind me that's gonna change. Sydney deserves more. She deserves to know she's the most important thing in my life. She and Laura, of course. Liddel: I'm proud of you Jack. Sydney and Vaughn drive up to an old warehouse building. They get out of the car, Sydney's on the phone. Sydney (to phone): We found his car. (she hangs up) Vaughn and Sydney enter the building. The walls and floor are gray and it looks a bit dark. We see very ill people lying on the ground. They start walking. Sydney: What would my father be doing here? Vaughn: I don't know. They see a guy lying on a mattress. He's wearing a jacket. Sydney and Vaughn stop to interrogate him. Sydney: That's my father's jacket. Vaughn : (to guy) Where is the man you took these from? (he grabs him) Hey! Where is he? Sydney: Come on. (Vaughn takes his gun, which was probably Jack's) Dr. Liddel's office. Jack: If for some reason, this doesn't work, tell my girls I love them, Sydney and Laura. Liddel: You're gonna pull through this Jack. I'll see you on the other side. (He injects him with the blue liquid medicine) I'd like you count backwards from ten. Jack: 10. . .9. . .8. . 7. . . Sydney and Vaughn walk in with their guns out. All of a sudden, we're back in the warehouse. Jack is on a bed, injecting himself with poison. Sydney: Dad! Jack: It's okay, everything's. . . Sydney: Oh my God, Dad! (to phone) Marshall, we need medical attention, now. (hangs up) Dad. (Vaughn is holding him up as he starts to shake, and Sydney pulls out the needle) APO Vaughn is talking to Sloane. Vaughn: Sydney's with Jack. They've taken him to the infirmary. Sloane: So, he injected himself with poison? Vaughn: Well, apparently, he thought is was a cure. Now, they got it out of his system, but this illness- they say within 72 hours, his condition will advance to the point where it's irreversible. Slone: Did he wake up in the ambulance? Vaughn: He kept wanting to see his doctor, Dr. Liddel. Apparently he's been suffering from hallucinations for weeks. Sloane: Dr. Liddel. Vaughn: Yeah. APO Briefing room. Gang around table. Picture of Liddel up on the screen. Sloane: Dr. Atticus Liddell. Dixon: He exists? Sloane: He did. 25 years ago, Atticus Liddel developed a radical thesis regarding the treatment of genetic mutations. IN 1981, he left the US to pursue his theories. He was working with patients devastated by an undisclosed nuclear accident in the Soviet Union. Unfortunately, it was the cold war. Shortly after he arrived, the Soviet's became convinced that in addition to being a physician, Liddel was also a spy, which he was. Vaughn: Did they kill him? Sloane: No. One of Jack's handlers informed us of the Russians' suspicions, and Jack was able to extract him before they could act. He changed his name, gave him a new identity. Sydney: Then there must be a record of where Liddel is located. Sloane: No. In those times, Jack and his handler had a strict policy-anything that sensitive, they kept no documentation. Sydney: So, we have to contact my Dad's handler. Sloane: Jack's handler is dead. He died 8 years ago. Dixon: But supposing Jack knows where Liddel is, why didn't he make contact when he first developed symptoms? Sydney: He thought he did. Marshall: Wow. Mr Bristow hallucinated the one man who can actually save his life. Even his delusions are lucid. Vaughn: A man like Liddel can't just disappear. Sydney: Yes, he could, if he was hidden by my father. Sydney is looking in at Jack's desk when Nadia walks up. Nadia: Hey. Is there anything I can do? Sydney: We're doing everything to find a doctor who might be able to help. Nadia: I'm so sorry, Syd. Sydney: Thank you. I'm gonna sit with him for a while. Nadia: You want company? I'll cancel dinner with Sophia. Sydney: You should keep it. There's nothing you can do here anyway. Nadia: Okay. But if you need anything. . . Sydney's apartment. Sophia is laying out dishes. Nadia and Weiss walk in. Nadia: Hi. Sophia: Hi. (smiles and hugs Nadia) Nadia: Something smells good. Sophia: (goes over to Weiss) You must be Eric. Weiss: Yes. Sophia: I'm Sophia. Weiss: Oh, hi. Eric Weiss. (Sophia gives him a hug) Oh, wow. How are you? (to Nadia) I love her already. Sophia: I'm so sorry Sydney couldn't make it. How sick is her father? Nadia: It's hard to say. They're running some tests now. (she puts down her bags) Weiss: Yeah. Sophia: That's awful. It's very hard. When it's a parent, it's always so difficult. Give me those. (she picks up Nadia's bags) I want you two to relax. You had a rough day. I'll take care of everything. Uh, Eric? Weiss: Yeah. Sophia: You have no idea how excited I am to meet you. Nadia says the most beautiful things about you. (she leaves) Weiss: (to Nadia) Really? Nadia: She asked me if you were tall, dark, and handsome. I told her you were tall. (Weiss laughs and they kiss) [SCENE_BREAK] In Nadia's bedroom. Sophia/Elena gives Nadia's bags to suspicious looking man and she leaves. Suspicious looking takes out Nadia's laptop and downloads files. Hospital. Jack is lying in a bed. Sydney sits nearby. Jack starts to mumble and his eyes open. Sydney: Dad. Dad can you hear me? Jack: Hello. Sydney: Hi. Jack: What are you doing-why am- Sydney: I need to ask you something, dad. Jack: Oh, no, it was my turn to pick up Sydney after dance class. I'm sorry. Can- can you take care of that? I'll cover next time Laura, I promise. Sydney: Laura? Jack: I don't- I don't know why I'm so tired sweetheart. I'm so tired. Sydney's apartment. Nadia, Weiss, and Sophia around the table, eating. Weiss: (holds up a piece of food) What are these, the emperanas, these are incr- they're so good. (Nadia giggles) Sophia: Empanadas. Weiss: Whatever, they're delicious. Sophia: I taught Nadia how to make them when she was very little. Weiss: Well, I've been seriously deprived. Nadia: Please. Weiss: Well have you ever made these for me? Nadia: (her cell phone, which is in her room, rings) Excuse me. Sophia: Can't you let it go? Nadia: I really have to get this, I'm sorry. (she leaves the table) Sophia: Nadia. Do you want some more wine? Nadia: Sure. Sophia: Red? White? (she discreetly pulls a gun out of her bag) Nadia: Red. (Nadia goes into her room) Weiss: I know there's- you know, there's seafood in here, but what- what is this? Is this artichoke hearts? What is this? Sophia: (watching Nadia's door) Many things. Weiss: And the rice. What is the spice in the rice? I can't- is it, um. . . Sophia: Saffron. Weiss: Ah, saffron. I was going for cumin. Saffron- your secret ingredient, of course. Nadia comes back out. Sophia/Elena discreetly replaces her gun back in her bag. Nadia: It was Vaughn. Weiss: How's Jack? Sloane's office. Sydney and Sloane. Sloane: He's to far gone, Sydney. In his present mental state, he will never tell us where he hid Liddel. Not to mention thet it's possible your father doesn't even remember. Sydney: My father doesn't forget things. We can hypnotize him. Slaone: Yeah, I considered that myself, but given his situation, his condition, these hallucinations. . . Sydney: He called me Laura. He thought I was my mother. Sloane: He called you Laura? Not Irina? You said he called you Laura. Suppose we convince your father that he's still living in 1981, specifically the day that he extracted Liddel out of Russia. Sydney: My dad's hallucinating. That's distinctly different from what you're suggesting. Sloane: (waves his hands) No, no, I'm not sure it is. Calling you Laura, imagining Dr. Liddel. What if we could recreate his surroundings? Perhaps we could guide his delusions, get him to reveal exactly where he relocated Liddel. Sydney: (eyes widen) You want me to be my mother. Sloane: That's right. Sydney is sitting at a table. She's dressed like Irina. Vaughn comes up. Vaughn: Found a girl. (places a picture of a young girl in front of her) Six years old. She's got your eyes. Her mom wants to know if she can use this for her acting reel. You okay? I get it. (rubs her shoulders) Not okay. Sydney: I don't know how I'm gonna do this? Vaughn: Well, you know, it's not too late. We can always have Weiss dress up as Irina. I'm sure he'd make a great housewife. Sydney: (she laughs) I don't remember my parents back when they were together. Vaughn: Well, you were a little girl. Sydney: I remember the time. I don't remember them. My dad. . .was my dad. He was never around when I was a kid. He was always away on business. My mom. . .I don't know what my dad was like around my mother, or what she was like around him. I don't know how to do this. Vaughn: Syd, it's just a job. It's another alias like all the others. Just trust your training. Follow your dad's cues. Follow his leads. Besides, I've got snipers everywhere if he starts to get inappropriate. (he smiles and Sydney laughs) Nadia: (comes in) They're ready. (she leaves) Vaughn: Hey, listen to me. You can do this. Sydney enters another room, which turns out to be they're old house. She looks around. Sloane: (comes in from the opposite direction) Oh my God. It's unsettling, isn't it? Sydney: This is my old house. (other guys comes in and place some things) Sloane: It should be sufficient as long as Jack, doesn't examine the details too closely. (turns) That bowl is in the wrong place. (he picks it up) Hmm, it's murano glass. Emily and I gave this to your parents- or at least the original version- as a housewarming gift. Sydney: It belongs on the coffee table. Sloane: That's right. We'll give you a few minutes after Jack wakes up to sell the illusion. When the phone rings, give him his privacy. (moves a few things around) Medical will move in as soon as we get Liddel's location. We'll get this- (Men roll Jack in on stretcher)- we'll get this over with as quickly as possible Sydney. (men lay Jack on a sofa, Sydney and Sloane watch him) You ready? (she nods) Your mother used to call your father sweetheart. It was a pet name for him. Good luck. (he walks out) A guy injects Jack with something. Sloane: (on comms) He should be conscious in 30 seconds. (to Marshall) Turn on the television. Marshall: Ok, tv. . .on. Marshall, Nadia, Sloane, and Vaughn watch Jack and Sydney through multiple cameras. The tv in the living room nexto Jack, who is lying on a couch, turns on. Man on tv: First conference President Reagan has held since the assassination attempt a month ago. And now, here's Sue with the weather. Jack wakes up. Woman: All right, thank you Jim. We're looking at the downtown L. A. and Hollywood area, which should remain sunny and warm for the next few days. (Sydney is shown in the kitchen) . . . . Jack picks up the remote and turns off the tv. He starts to get up. Vaughn: Sydney, go ahead. Sydney picks up a brown paper bag, and opens and shuts the door. Sydney: Jack? (Jack gets up and goes to the kitchen) Oh, good you're home. (she lays the bags on the table and starts taking food out, as Jack stares at her) Jack: Sydney. Sydney: She's upstairs, isn't she? Would you give me a hand with these? (pause) Sweetheart is something wrong? Marshall: It's not working. Sloane: Just give her a moment please. Sydney: Arvin called. He and Emily want to have dinner next Saturday. I told him we'd love to. Jack: You could have just said we're busy. I know how you put up with Arvin for my sake. Sydney: Sweetheart, he's your best friend. I'm your wife. I can tolerate him. Jack: (smiles) How can you do that? Sydney: (continues putting away groceries) Do what? Jack: How can you be so perfect? Loving mother, beautiful wife, just- just by standing there. Sloane: Vaughn. Vaughn picks up a phone. The phone rings. Sydney: Jack, would you get that? Jack: (goes back to the living room and answers the phone) Hello. Vaughn: Control number 80709. Is this line secure? Jack: Yes, it is. Vaughn: I'm calling from Agent Grady's office. We've moved up the timetable to get Liddel out of Minsk. We have to get him out of there now. Jack: Yes, I understand. (he watches Sydney move around the kitchen) Vaughn: I can expedite your movements from here. What travel arrangements do you need set up? (pause) Where do you want Liddel moved? Marshall: His mind's rejecting this, possibly because Vaughn's voice doesn't sound like his handler's. Nadia: We should send in the girl. Sloane: Do it, Marshall. Marshall: Sending in. . .the girl. Little girl, supposed to be Sydney, walks in. Girl: Hi, dad. Is it okay if I practice the piano? Jack: (smiles) Of course. Little girl smiles and goes over to the piano. She starts playing. Jack: (to phone) You still there? Vaughn: Yes, of course. Jack: I have company. Vaughn: I understand. Jack: About the doctor, I'm feeling a bit under the weather, but I'm much better now. Marshall: It's code, do you recognize it? Slaone: No, it must be something Jack had with his handler. Vaughn: Go ahead. Jack: Despite that, I think it'd be wise to have a checkup. It's been over a year since my last stress test. Can you schedule that for me? Vaughn: You got it. Jack: Thank you. (he hangs up) Sloane: Sydney, Marshall should be able to decode the message. Keep trying to get Liddel's location. Jack goes back to the kitchen. Jack: Sorry, honey, I have bad news. Sydney: Oh? Jack: That was Grady. Who else would it be this early on a sunday. He has a mission for me. I'm afraid I have to leave town. Nadia: He told her. She knew he was a spy. Sloane: It would seem so. Sydney: What's the mission? Jack: There's a doctor, who's research has put his life in danger. I need to make him disappear. New name, new identity, new life-low risk, I promise. Sydney: Where will you take him? Jack: Finland. The medical community there- Sloane: Marshall, run a biometric of Dr. Liddel against the databases of Finnish passport offices and medical licensing board. Marshall: Already on it. Vaughn: Sydney, we got it. Good work. Jack: What concerns me- I won't be back until next week. I'll miss Sydney's birthday again. Sydney: That's okay. You'll explain it to her. She'll understand. Jack: She's a child. She shouldn't need to understand her father isn't home to celebrate her birthday. Laura, the only memories I have of my father are of him leaving. I don't want it to be that way for her. She deserves better. Sydney: (you can tell she's about to cry) The work you do is important. Jack: Not as important as her. Or you. (pause) When I get back from Europe, I'm going to talk to my supervisors. Sydney: What about? Jack: I'm giving notice. Sorry. I should have discussed this with you before I made any decisions. Sydney: No. That means more to me than you'll ever know. (she's about to cry as Jack kisses her hand) Sloane: We'll send in the med techs to sedate your father. Jack goes over to the piano and sits next to the little girl. Jack: That's good. Can I join you? Girl: Uh-huh. (she nods and he plays the piano with her) Sydney comes in and watches them. Twinkle twinkle little star. Guy comes in and tranqs Jack. Helsinki, Finland. We see an old man sitting in a bench. Sydney walks up to him. Sydney: Dr. Liddel. He gets up and walks away, without even looking at her. Sydney: Jack Bristow. He needs your help. (he stops and turns around) APO Marshall comes running up to Weiss and Nadia. Marshall: Guys! Weiss, Nadia, hold on! I was about to run some more carbide tests on the hydrosec- case carbide tests, and I went to get it out of cold storage, and it wasn't there, but of course you knew that. Nadia: How would we know that? Marshall: Well, it was moved at your request by your unit to a low-security facility offsite. I'm just wondering why, cause that's some dangerous stuff. Suspicious looking man walks down a corridor. There are 2 men tied up behind him. He attaches a device to a wall. Elena is walking down a street and comes upon a guard. Elena: Excuse me, sir. I'm terribly sorry but I'm lost. Could you please tell me where Division street is please? Guard 1: Sure. Actually Division Street is the one-way street, (points) heading north. In another section, Guard 2 goes up to Guard 3. Guard 2: What's going on? Guard 3: (watching Elena on camera, then turns back to 2) Just some lady asking directions. APO Weiss: No one in our unit authorized anything. Marshall: Well, the request was authenticated. It came over our secure network. Suspicous looking man presses a button and the security cameras go out. Guard 2 and 3 notice. G 2: Security system's offline. G3: I'm calling it in. Back to Elena and G1. Elena: You're saying that way is a one-way street, goas- G1: Right-(she tranqs him)-ahh. (Elena carries him over to behind a wall and drops him) Back to Guards 2 and 3. G3: Hey, hey-hey-how did you get in here? Elena pulls out a gun and tranqs both of them. Weiss tries calling the security office, no answer because G 2 and 3 are tranqed. Elena walks down the hall with suspicious looking man. Guard comes around the corner and she tranqs him. Weiss: Nothing. I'm getting nothing, no answer. Nadia: Let's go. Elena takes a card from the unconscious guard and uses it to open a door. She enters followed by suspicious looking man. They come to a safe. Man: It's double-folded titanium. Elena: Take a look at this. We can cut through that. He uses a blowtorch to cut through it, while Elena guards the doorway. Nadia and Weiss enter the building and find Guards 2 and 3 unconscious. They move on. Man: (to Elena) Done. Elena comes away from the door as Man pulls the door off the safe. Elena takes the case out and opens it to inspect what's inside. Nadia and Weiss find another tranqed guard. They enter the room with the safe. Nadia: Hydrosec's gone. Weiss: Oh, God. (he sees suspicious looking man lying on the floor dead, Elena killed him) Nadia: It's the guy from Vienna. The one Sydney and Vaughn- Weiss: What the hell happed here? The hallway outside APO. Sydney is walking through with Dr. Liddel. Sloane: (comes up) Atticus. (they shake hands) So good of you to come. Liddel: After what Jack did for me. . . Sloane: Sydney will show you the infirmary. If there's anything you need- Liddel: I'd like to see my patient. Sydney: Right this way. (they walk on) The infirmary. Jack is asleep in his bed. Sydney picks up Jack's hand. Sydney: Dad. (he wakes up and looks at her) Dad. A friend is here to see you. Liddel: Hello, Jack. Jack: Am I cured? Liddel: Not yet. But I'm gonna make you better.	Plan: A: Jack; Q: Who is the only person who knows where Dr. Atticus Liddell is? A: visits; Q: What has Jack been hallucinating with Dr. Atticus Liddell? A: Dr. Atticus Liddell; Q: Who is the only man that can help Jack? A: 1981; Q: When was Dr. Atticus Liddell relocated? A: radiation therapy; Q: What type of therapy did Dr. Atticus Liddell specialize in? A: Jack's health; Q: What is Dr. Atticus Liddell believed to be able to improve? A: a hospital; Q: Where does Jack wake up in? A: Laura; Q: What was the name of Jack's ex-wife? A: Sloane; Q: Who asks Sydney to pose as her mother? A: her mother; Q: What does Sloane ask Sydney to pose as to get information from Jack? A: A fake house; Q: What is set up to look like Dr. Liddell's former house? A: Helsinki; Q: Where did Jack relocate Dr. Liddell to? A: APO; Q: Where does Sydney bring Dr. Liddell to help Jack? A: Elena; Q: Who steals the Hydrosek and kills her ally? Summary: Jack has been hallucinating visits with Dr. Atticus Liddell, a man that Jack helped relocate in 1981. Liddell specialized in radiation therapy and is believed to be the only man capable of improving Jack's health, only no one knows where Dr. Liddell is except for Jack. When Jack wakes up in a hospital, he thinks Sydney is his ex-wife, Laura. Sloane then asks Sydney to pose as her mother to get information from Jack that will lead to where Dr. Liddell is hiding. A fake house is set up and re-created to look like his former house in 1981. He reveals openly to "Laura" that he was relocating Liddell to Helsinki. Sydney subsequently finds him and brings him to APO to help Jack. Elena steals the Hydrosek recovered earlier and kills her ally after the heist.
Scene: The cafeteria. Sheldon is drawing on a napkin. Raj: What are you drawing over there? Sheldon: It's a hypothetical containment field for a Frisbee-sized wormhole that could serve as a portal to a parallel universe. Howard: Oh, you silly doodlebug. Leonard: You know, a lot of scientists believe that making contact with other life-forms would probably not end well for us. Sheldon: It's a Frisbee-sized wormhole, Leonard. You can block it with a Frisbee. Calm down. (Hands Howard the napkin) Howard: Do you expect me to build this? Sheldon: I expect you to wipe the pudding off your chin. Gentlemen. Howard: Have you guys ever noticed that Sheldon always disappears every day at two forty-five? Leonard: Really? Raj: He probably just goes to the bathroom. Leonard: Actually, no, he goes to the bathroom at eight a.m. with optional follow-ups at one forty-five and seven ten high-fibre Fridays. Raj: It's sad that you know that. Leonard: Oh, that's just the tip of the sadness iceberg. Howard: I'm looking at his public calendar. Two forty-five to three-oh-five, nothing. Yesterday, two forty-five to three-oh-five, nothing, last week, nothing, last month, nothing. He never has anything booked during that time. Raj: Twenty minutes a day, completely unaccounted for. Howard: We should figure out where he goes. Raj: Ooh, this is exciting. Like one of my classic murder mystery dinner parties. Leonard: Right, the case of who murdered three Saturday nights of my life? Howard: Colonel Koothrapali in the kitchen with the olive spread. Raj: It was tapenade and you guys suck. Credits sequence. Scene: Penny's apartment. Penny is texting. Penny: So, how was work today? Leonard: Well, I spent most of the afternoon growing isotopically pure crystals for neutrino detection. Penny: That sounds like fun. Leonard: Yeah, it was. Penny: Oh, good, I guessed right. Leonard: Who you talking to? Penny: Oh, just this guy I met at school. Leonard: Oh, great. We're still dating, right? Penny: Relax. He's just a friend. We're doing an oral report together. He's really nice. Leonard: I'm sorry, what was that? I had a little stroke after oral. Penny: Would you stop? Look, he just moved here from London, okay? He doesn't really know anybody. Leonard: Oh, good, an English accent, the sexiest accent you can have. Penny: No. That's not true. There's French, there's Italian. No, you're right, it's the best. Leonard: Did you tell him you have a boyfriend? Penny: It didn't come up. Leonard: Well, maybe you should tell him. Penny: What am I supposed to say? Leonard: Say, can't talk right now, hanging with my boyfriend. England sucks, you suck, USA number one. Penny: Fine. Hanging with my boyfriend. Talk to you later. Happy? Leonard: Yes. Thank you. Penny: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Leonard: What did he say? Penny: Nothing. Leonard: What? Penny: Did your boyfriend make you type that? Leonard: I hate this guy. Penny: Don't be like that. Leonard: Come on, trust me, he's hitting on you. Penny: No, he's not. We're just friends. Look, is this gonna be a problem? Because he's supposed to come over tomorrow to work. Leonard: Really? Here? Penny: If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll switch partners, even though the thing's due next week and everyone already has a partner and I'll probably end up failing the class. Leonard: That'd be great. Thank you. Scene: The corridor outside Sheldon's office. Howard: Two forty-four, Right on schedule. Hey, Sheldon. Sheldon: Oh, hello. Howard: Raj and I are heading over to the genetics lab to pet the glow-in-the-dark bunny. Want to come with us? Sheldon: No, thank you. Raj: Are you sure? They turn off the lights, and it's like a cute little laser show that poops all over the place. Sheldon: I'm quite sure. Good day. Howard: Well, where are you going? Sheldon: Where are you going? Raj: We just told you. Sheldon: I just told you. Howard: No, you didn't. Sheldon: Well, it's your word against mine; see you in court. Howard: Should we follow him? Raj: I don't know, I'm torn. I want to know where he's going, but now I kind of want to play with the bunny. Alex: Hi, guys. Howard: Hey, Alex, do you know where your boss just went? Alex: No. Howard: Don't you know his schedule? Alex: All I know is corduroy makes too much noise and I have to go find quieter pants. Howard: Come on. Raj: Boy, what I wouldn't give to get her out of those pants and into something a little more stylish. Scene: A corridor in the basement. Sheldon takes out a key, unlocks a door and enters. Howard: This is where he goes? What's in there? Raj: I think it's an old storage room. Howard: What could he be doing in there every day for twenty minutes? Raj: Well, he's not doing twenty-minute abs, because if he were, he would have way better abs. Can you hear anything? Howard: Not yet. What are you doing? Raj: I'm listening. Howard: Can't you face the other way and listen? Raj: I can't do anything right for you, can I? Howard: What the hell is he up to? Raj: He is kind of a weirdo. Maybe he's got Leonard Nimoy chained up in there. Or Bill Gates. Or Stephen Hawking. Howard: Why would he chain up Stephen Hawking? Raj: Howard, please, you can't treat the man differently just because he's disabled. That's not okay. Scene: The apartment. Leonard: If you're wondering why I've been staring through the peephole, I'm trying to get a look at this guy who's coming over to Penny's. Sheldon: To be honest, I didn't know you were here. Leonard: It's not a big deal. He's just in her history class. They're working on a project together. I don't even know why I care. You know what, I don't care. Sheldon: You think you don't care? Leonard: This is silly. I have nothing to worry about. Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. I mean, statistically speaking, I'm sure you have something to worry about. Leonard: What do you mean? Sheldon: Well, if we assume your looks are average, yeah, right off the bat, fifty percent of men on Earth are more attractive than you. That's one point five billion handsome lads standing by, waiting to rain on your parade. Leonard: Well, yeah, but this isn't just about looks. I'm, I'm way above average in a lot of other things. Sheldon: Not height, vision, athleticism, or ability to digest dairy products. Leonard: I'm talking about important things like emotional maturity. Sheldon: You were just spying on your girlfriend through a peephole. Leonard: I liked it better when you thought I wasn't here. Sheldon: I'm not saying you don't have attractive qualities. Your choice of friends is impeccable, you're a good sleeper, and last but not least, you buy the grapes I like. You're a real catch compared to some snoring guy with a fridge full of lousy grapes. Leonard: None of this matters. I trust that Penny cares about me, and nothing's gonna happen with this guy. Sheldon: Well, unless of course he's a skilled hypnotist. Leonard: What? Sheldon: While unlikely, it's still a statistical possibility. She might be performing sexual acts with him and not even know it. Leonard: Now you're just being ridiculous. Sheldon: Am I? The mind's a mysterious thing, Leonard. He could be having the time of his life while she thinks she's a chicken pecking for corn. Scene: The university basement. Raj: Look at us, sneaking around in the middle of the night like a couple of cat burglars. Howard: I think we're more like ninjas. Raj: I don't want to be a ninja, I want to be a cat burglar. Howard: Fine, I'll be a ninja, you be a cat burglar. Raj: No, we both have to be the same thing. Okay, we're ninjas. Howard: Thank you. Raj: But next time, we'll be cat burglars. Howard: It's locked. Raj: Are you sure? Howard: Yes, I'm sure. Now, you stand guard, I'm going to... Raj (trying door): It's locked. Howard: Just keep an eye out. I'll have this open in a minute. Raj: When did you learn how to pick locks? Howard: When I was starting to do magic in junior high, I thought I could be an escape artist like Harry Houdini. Raj: How did that work out? Howard: Pretty good. I managed to escape friends, popularity, and every party thrown in a twelve mile radius. There. Ready? Raj: Hold on, hold on. Howard: What? Raj: Sheldon is a very smart man, and he obviously wants to keep this a secret. Howard: Yeah, so? Raj: What if it's booby-trapped? Howard: Don't worry, I'm one step ahead of him. Raj: Great, what's your pl... (Howard pushes him inside) Howard: Are we good? Raj: Yeah. Huh. Forty-three? What the hell does that mean? Howard: I don't know. The solution to an equation? Raj: Maybe. It's a prime number. Encryption systems are built on prime numbers. Howard: What kind of secret does Sheldon have to encrypt? Raj: He's always been very cagey about what he puts in his egg salad to make it so tasty. Howard: It's paprika. Raj: Really? Well, oh, okay, one mystery solved. Scene: The apartment. Voice from Outside: Okay, good night. Penny (off): Thanks, Cole. See you at school. Cole (off): See you. Leonard: I'll be right back. Sheldon: I thought you left a long time ago. Leonard (rushing to catch up with Cole): 'sup? Cole: Hey. Leonard: You, uh, moving into the apartment on the fifth floor? Cole: No, I was just visiting a friend. Leonard: Oh, cool. That cute blonde on four? Cole: Yeah. You know her? Leonard: I, well, I see her around. I like to keep my distance because her boyfriend is a pretty scary dude. Cole: Really? Leonard: Yeah. He's ganged up. Cole: She told me he's a scientist. Leonard: That's the name of his gang. The Scientists. They are crazy. Cole: Well, thanks for the tip. Leonard: No problem, brother. Stay frosty. (Cole leaves. Leonard spots Penny watching.) We're still dating, right? Scene: The cafeteria. Alex: Oh, hello, Dr. Hofstadter. Leonard: Hey, Alex, and call me Leonard. Dr. Hofstadter is my father. And my mother. And my sister. And our cat. Although, I'm pretty sure Dr. Boots Hofstadter's degree was honorary. Alex: May I join you, Leonard? Leonard: Sure. Alex: Thanks. Leonard: Hey, Alex, let me ask you something. My girlfriend knows this guy at school. He's got an English accent. Alex: Ooh, I love English accents. Leonard: Yeah, you all do. Anyway, I feel like he's hitting on her. She says he's just being nice and that I should trust her. Alex: It's probably harmless. You know how it is. I'm sure you get hit on all the time. Leonard: Right. Because girls are always like, ooh, that guy owns two Star Trek uniforms and gets a lot of ear infections. I got to get me some of that. Alex: I don't know, I bet it happens more than you realize. Leonard: Trust me, it doesn't. Alex: You sure? You're cute, you're funny. Maybe you're getting hit on, and you don't even know it. Leonard: Really? Alex: Yep, pretty sure. Leonard (laughs): Okay, I got to get back to work. Thanks for listening. Alex: No problem. Leonard: Hope-hope no girls rip my clothes off on the way. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: Raj's office. Raj: Come on, we're smart guys. We can figure this out. Howard: Forty-three. What is forty-three? Besides my mom's neck size. Raj: It's the atomic number for technetium. Howard: That stuff's radioactive. Raj: Do you think he's building a bomb? Howard: Ah, it took him two years to put together that Lego Death Star, I'm not worried. Raj: Ooh, this could be something. forty-three is the number of calories in half a cup of fat-free yoghurt. Howard: Why would you know that? Raj: I'm sorry. We can't all eat whatever we want and still stay thin. Wait, in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, isn't forty-three the answer to the question of life, the universe,and everything? Howard: That's forty-two, dumb-ass. Raj: Hey, hey. Feelings. Howard: We should stop. I'm exhausted. Raj: Yeah, me, too. We've got more important things to do. Who cares what stupid forty-three means? Howard: Not me. Raj: Let's go home. You want to get something to eat? Howard: Sounds good. Raj: What the balls is forty-three? Howard: I have to know! Scene: The stairwell. Leonard: Hi. Penny: Hey, shouldn't you be out with your gang, spray painting equations on the side of buildings? Leonard: Come on, I'm sorry. Penny: I just can't believe you don't trust me. Leonard: I do, of course I do. Penny: Then why did you embarrass me in front of my friend, who, by the way, knew exactly who you were? Leonard: Really? Penny: Your picture's on my refrigerator. Leonard: Oh. You know, I'm really starting to not like this guy. Penny: What is your problem? Do you use up all your thinking at work and then have none left over for when you get home? Leonard: I don't know. It-it-it's hard sometimes. Everywhere you go, guys hit on you, even if I'm standing right there. And they're all taller than me. Why is everyone taller than me? You know what, this is all in my head. It's my problem, not yours. Penny: Leonard, why do you always do this? Listen to me, you're the one I'm with. You know I love you, so will you please relax because you're driving me crazy. Leonard: You know that's the first time you ever said that you love me. Penny: Yeah. Leonard: We're just supposed to pretend it's not a big deal? Penny: That's exactly what we're gonna do because you're about to make me cry, and we both know if I start crying, you're gonna start crying. Leonard: You're right, you should go. Penny (crying): All right. Leonard (crying): She loves me. (Receives text) Hey, it's Alex. Nice having coffee with you. If you want to talk more, I'm always available. Smiley face, smiley face. What a friendly girl. Scene: The cafeteria. Howard: Okay, picture's up. Looks like the camera's working. Raj: That's good quality video. Howard: It better be. It's the spare camera for the Mars rover. Raj: How did you get your hands on that? Howard: Million dollar camera, ten dollar lock. Raj: Oh, my God, here he comes. This is it. Howard: What the hell is that thing? Raj: I don't know. Sheldon (on screen): This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Experimental log. Wormhole generator test forty-four. Howard: Wormhole generator test? (On screen a wormhole appears) Sheldon: The first forty-three parallel universes I've checked proved to be empty. I see no reason to suspect universe number forty-four will be any different. (Puts his head in the wormhole) Howard: Oh, my God! Raj: Holy crap! Sheldon (with an alien creature stuck to his face): Oh! It's eating my face! Raj: Aah! It's eating his face! Sheldon (throwing alien onto the laptop): I found your webcam and replaced the video feed. You two should be ashamed of yourselves. Raj: Sheldon, we're really sorry. Howard: Yeah, really sorry. Sheldon: Sorry? You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I want to. It's exhausting. Which is why, for twenty minutes a day, I like to go down to that room, turn my mind off and do what I need to do to recharge. Howard: But what are you doing in there? Raj: And what does forty-three mean? Sheldon: You don't need to know, you don't deserve to know, and you will never know. Raj: Yeah, well, I know how to make your egg salad now. Scene: The room in the basement. Sheldon enters, takes out a box, takes a beanbag from the box, then starts playing keepie-uppie, Sheldon: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight... Drat. I'm never going to get to forty-three again. One, two, three, four... Rats.	Plan: A: Leonard; Q: Who is jealous of Penny's British classmate Cole? A: Penny; Q: Who does Leonard tell about his insecurity about other men hitting on her? A: an oral class project; Q: What is Cole working on with Penny? A: trust; Q: What does Penny feel Leonard lacks? A: the Caltech cafeteria; Q: Where does Leonard discuss his problem with Alex? A: Alex; Q: Who flirts with Leonard in the cafeteria? A: the first time; Q: How many times has Penny confessed her love for Leonard? A: Howard; Q: Who installs a "borrowed" Mars Rover camera to spy on Sheldon? A: 3:05 pm; Q: What time does Sheldon leave the storage room? A: daily; Q: How often does Sheldon enter a storage room in Caltech's basement? A: midnight; Q: When do Howard and Raj break into Sheldon's storage room? A: 43; Q: What is the maximum number of consecutive hits Sheldon has? A: its meaning; Q: What do Howard and Raj try to discover about the number "43"? A: an alien creature; Q: What does Howard fake a video of himself being attacked by? A: a small wormhole; Q: What does Howard open to find life in the 44th parallel universe? A: the audience; Q: Who sees Sheldon playing with a hacky sack in the final scene? Summary: Leonard is jealous of Penny's British classmate Cole who works with her on an oral class project, afraid Cole is hitting on her. Confronting him on the staircase, he tries to frighten him off Penny, unaware he is uninterested. She overhears them and is furious at Leonard's lack of trust. In the Caltech cafeteria, Leonard discusses his problem with Alex, who flirts with him, unbeknown to him. He later tells Penny of his insecurity about other men hitting on her, and she finally confesses her love for him. Leonard says that this is the first time she said that she loves him. Meanwhile, Howard and Raj wonder what Sheldon does from 2:45 to 3:05 pm daily. They see him enter a storage room in Caltech's basement. They break in at midnight to find only the number "43" on a chalkboard and nothing else. They try to discover its meaning using their science, mathematics and popular media knowledge but to no avail. Howard installs a "borrowed" Mars Rover camera to spy on Sheldon. Finding the camera, he fakes a video of himself in the room under attack by an alien creature after he opens a small wormhole to find life in the 44th parallel universe, the first "43" being lifeless. He admonishes them for spying and reveals he relaxes in the room from his difficulties in daily life, but will not explain "43" because they don't need or deserve to know. In the final scene, the audience sees Sheldon playing with a hacky sack in the room: "43" is his maximum number of consecutive hits.
ZBZ HOUSE - Dining room Rebecca : Uh... I saw that first. Casey : Oh, look. Going after something else that's mine. Must be Monday. Rebecca : It's tough to avoid when you think everything's yours, isn't it? Casey : Speaking of yours, is that Jen K. Wearing your skirt? Casey goes to see Ashleigh. Casey : Now, to prepare you. I was talking to this girl in my Spanish class. She says she knows this guy who worked on Laguna Beach second season. And he says that it's not really real, which makes a little bit of sense. Reality just isn't that good. What do you think? Ashleigh: Whatever. Casey : Ash, I know breaking up sucks. You and Travis had a long history, but it'll help if you just get your mind off things. Forget about him. Ashleigh : I'm fine. Frannie : So National just called asking about our philanthropy hours, which we have very few of, thanks to ex-sisterlphilanthropy chair, Libby. Yeah. The last thing we need iis National on our backs. The good news is, Libby did set something up with an after-school program called the Bible Bunch. The bad news, she didn't follow through. We need to set something up. Casey : No worries. The dynamic duo are on the case. Frannie Thank you. Ashleigh : I can't help. Casey : You can do this. It's just what you need to get over Travis. You handle wardrobe. Think charitable, nonprofit. I'll call Bible Bunch... Ashleigh : No, really, I can't. I have a paper to write, a project. I'm also growing my bangs, which requires extra sleep. Casey : But I need you. And it'll take your mind off things. Come on, we're Mary-Kate and Ashley. Ashleigh : Sorry. I just have a lot going on right now. Rebecca : Uh-oh. Looks like Mary-Kate lost her Ashley. CRU - Rusty's Room Jen K. : Oh, basic scuba. That'd be fun. Or not. Rusty : It's your elective. Jen K. : It could be ours. Think we should take a class together? Rusty : Why didn't I think of that? Beep Jen K. : You're such a smart guy. I bet you're full of good ideas. My boyfriend from high school never thought of anything like that. Beep Rusty : Your high school boyfriend? Beep Jen K. : Grady, he never initiated, especially in the romance department. Beep Rusty : Like what? Beep Jen K. : Like our first date, our first kiss. Beep Rusty : Ignore it. You were saying. Beep Jen K. : I was the one who was always pushing things forward. And then, finally, I broke up with him. Beep Rusty : Right. Not like ours where we held hands, we kissed, the first night. Beep Jen K. : Exactly. Beep Rusty : It's funny because, before you mentioned it, I was thinking we should take a class together. Beep Jen K. : Who's SkynyrdAngel1501? Rusty : Dale, I'm right here. Dale : I promised I'd leave you guys alone until ten. Look, 10:20. I do not appreciate you taking advantage of my good nature. Rusty : My interpretation was that you'd leave the room. Dale : There's two names on that door. Read them. Jen K. : It's fine. I actually have to meet somebody downstairs. Walk me to class in the morning? Rusty : I was gonna suggest that. Beep Rusty : Yes, I was going to suggest that. Stop IMing me. Credits KT HOUSE - Living room Rusty : You're cleaning? Cappie : The house is a mess. Have you seen the surface buildup? There's mold growing on mold. Rusty : It never bothered you before. Cappie : Oh, the keg explosion of '06. Goodbye, old friend. Rusty : I actually came to get your advice on something. I think I'm ready to use the L-word with Jen. Cappie : That's a bold move. What makes you think she's a lesbian? Is that a deal-breaker? Rusty : Not that L-word. I want to tell her I love her. Cappie : Look, if you need to say, "I love you," call your mom. All right. Listen, young Padawan, love was invented by women to rob men of their reason for living and their manhood. Love is a vicious trap. It's an E-ticket ride straight to the depths of hell. Rusty : It can't be that bad. Cappie : Yeah, until it's over and you're curled up with a pint of ice cream, watching Never Been Kissed and writing in your journal. So just kick back, relax. Don't ruin everything by making it all serious and mushy. Rusty : You're wrong. I need to make a move. A bold move. Standing still is the worst thing I can do. Cappie : You're... defying the master? Be careful, Spitter. Remember what happened to Anakin? Rusty : Cap, I'm ready. Cappie : You've only been dating her for three weeks. Rusty : When you know, you know. I'm gonna tell her, and my big bro's gonna be happy for me. Cappie : Well, I'm worried for you. Does that count? School Class Casey : Excuse me, Um, I'm looking for the director of the after-school program? Dale : That'd be me. Casey : Hi. Casey Cartwright, Zeta Beta. I'm here about volunteering. Dale : Rusty's sister? I'm his roommate, Dale Kettlewell. Casey : You're the Confederate flag guy. Dale : Thank you. Boy, you don't look anything like your brother. Casey : Thank you. Dale : I, uh, I gave up on you guys after I never heard from Libby. Casey : Let me assure you, that is not the Zeta Beta way. Dale : I chalked it up to the unreliability of organizations whose sole purpose seems to be personal pleasure, bodily self-destruction and the relinquishment of all virtue. So, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like that? Casey : Oh, our sorority is all about philanthropy. How can we help you all? Immediately? Dale : Well, let's see, uh, the basketball court needs repainting, the gym floor needs waxing. You could hose bird feces off the building exterior with a pressure washer. It's more fun than it sounds. Casey : So many to choose from. This is a great room. It'd be perfect for a party. Or... I know, a show. A show. For the kids. We have the perfect thing. It's called Leading a Good Life. Dale : A catchy title. It sounds positive. Casey : Oh, it is. It's an edu-taining musical that covers everything from dental hygiene to menopause. Dale : These kids could use some old-fashioned values. Casey : It would be perfect. Dale : I don't know. The Bible Bunch kids are serious at-risk youths. I mean, some of them are gang members, some are even atheists. All right, yeah, let's give it a shot. Casey : Yes. Dale : Amen. It was nice to meet you. Casey : Yeah. You too. CRU - Street Heath : Waiting for Godot? More like waiting to go home. Calvin : I didn't think it was that bad. Heath : What, you liked it? Calvin : No, I thought it was kind of slow and a little pretentious, but at least we tried something new. Heath : Why can't we do something old that we know is fun? Calvin : Like bowling? Again? You can only enjoy it so many times before you start to understand why it's not a real sport. Heath : OK, this is dumb. Want to grab some ice cream? Calvin : Actually, I'm pretty beat. You know, and I got that chem lab in the morning, so... Heath : Sure. Right. Wouldn't be bad to get a decent night's sleep. Calvin : Yeah. Heath : I'll see you later. ZBZ HOUSE - Casey & Ashleigh's room Casey : Ash, you should have been there. The outfit worked like a charm, and he loves Leading a Good Life. Ashleigh : Great. Casey : You think Frannie'll be Marie-Antoinette again? Ashleigh : Uh-huh. Casey : I need to find a replacement for the Fuzzy Bunny. Any ideas? Ashleigh : Mm-hmm. Casey : Are you listening to me? Ashleigh : Yep. Fuzzy Bunny. 'Night. Casey : If you're not gonna help with the show, the least you can do is talk to me about it. Is that too much to ask? Ashleigh : I had a hard day too, but you didn't ask me about that, did you? Casey : Right, sorry. How are those bangs coming? OK, I have apologized, like, 50 times for being part of the anti-Travis mob. Though I think dumping him was the right decision. Now you need to stop moping and move on. Ashleigh : It's not about Travis. This is about you not supporting me. Casey : I am supporting you by supporting what's best for you. Ashleigh : What's best? According to who? Casey : Maybe you're just too close to the situation to have a healthy perspective. Ashleigh : Maybe you don't know everything. I did what everybody else wanted me to do about Travis. At least let me feel how I want to feel afterwards. Casey : Fine. I mean, if you want to brood and withdraw and blame me... Where are you going? Ashleigh : I'm moving on. If you find my behavior so annoying, then I'll spare us both and sleep downstairs. Fine? Casey : Fine. Mexican Restaurant Rusty : Jen, I love...chimichangas. Have you ever noticed how the majority of the dishes are made from the same three ingredients? Every dish is meat, cheese and tortilla. Jen K : I know. It's in everything. Burritos, tacos, enchiladas. It's all the same basic combo. Rusty : Did you do something with your hair? Jen K : What? No. Rusty : Well, I really love...it. I... Jen K : Thanks. Anyhow, so I used to work at this little Mexican restaurant for a week. They had five or six pots. No matter what you ordered, it came out of those pots. Rusty : That's crazy. Jen K : And there was a sauce for the taco... Rusty : I love you. Silence Jen K : Thank you. ZBZ HOUSE - Living room Ashleigh : Hey! What the hell are you doing? Rebecca : Sorry. I didn't expect anyone to be sleeping on the couch. Ashleigh : Three-second rule. What are you doing here? Rebecca : Don't tell anyone, but the cook stashes Cheesaritos for me in the pantry. A trick I learned at my father's townhouse. He always said fat was a bad photo op. Ashleigh : That explains why the cook's fingers are always orange. I thought it was some skin disease. Rebecca : My dad said that about our cook too. So why are you down here? Ashleigh : I couldn't sleep. Rebecca : Before or after your gigantic fight with Casey? I'm right next door. Ashleigh : It wasn't a fight. It was a disagreement. She just always thinks she knows how to manage my life. And a lot of the time, she does. Rebecca : No, I get it. Friends fight. What? Ashleigh : I just never thought of you as a person with...friends. Rebecca : I have several. Like my best friend in D.C., she and I used to fight constantly. We always made up, though. I really miss her now. Would you prefer I drop them on the ground first? Ashleigh : No. KT HOUSE - Living Room Rusty : Cap? Cappie : In here, Spitter. Rusty : You're still cleaning? Cappie : Dirt works 24l7. Rusty : So my dinner with Jen K. Was a disaster. Cappie : I'm not going to say I told you so, but you completely screwed up by not taking my advice. Rusty : You were right. It was horrible. I said it and she thanked me. Do you say "you're welcome" to something like that? Then we just sat there for the next hour eating dinner. Complete awkward silence. Cappie : Well, at least she's polite. Maybe it'll blow over, and she won't even notice. Rusty : Maybe I just need a break from girls for a while. Cappie : Well, your instincts aren't all bad. I have a sure-fire way to do that, if you can trust me. Rusty : I'll never doubt you again. Cappie : Good. Then it's off to...the lunch buffet. Oh, here's your toothbrush. Wade : Why does it taste like corn chips and feet? Cappie : Don't you worry about that. You just worry about what you're gonna order at the lunch buffet. Wade : No. I have class. Cappie : Come after. And send out the Bat-Signal to all interested parties. Wade : At least he stopped cleaning. Good job. Rusty : Wait, what's the lunch buffet? ZBZ HOUSE - Living room Casey : Caitlin will be playing the role of dental floss. Eva, you'll be the pine cone. And Frannie will direct and embody the beautiful yet powerful Marie-Antoinette. Frannie : I know, right? Actress, director, double threat. Case, uh, what about you and Ashleigh? Casey : Ashleigh seems to have a lot of stuff going on right now. I thought Jen K. Could sub in? Jen K : Sub in for Ashleigh? Frannie : Are you OK with that, Ash? Ashleigh : It's fine. I'd prefer a dance with a little more freedom anyway, so I'd love to pair up with a new partner. Casey : Like who? Ashleigh : Rebecca. Casey : Rebecca who? Rebecca : We have some amazing ideas for the Sweet Tooth number. Maybe we'll dress up as cupcakes. Casey : You have the body for it. Ashleigh : Let's get to work. Frannie : OK, great. Casey : Yay. KT HOUSE - Garden Calvin : Hey, uh, you guys haven't seen Heath, have you? I need notes from class. Cappie : Haven't seen him since yesterday. Calvin : Oh, I'll just get the notes later then. Cappie : Hey, you care to join us for lunch? We're going to get our minds off girls. Rusty : All I know is lunch buffet. Cappie : A man's gotta eat, right? Calvin : Uh, sure. Why not? CRU Club Cappie : Welcome to the second happiest place on Earth. Let me show you guys around. Rusty : Didn't you expect a strip club would be bigger? And cleaner? Calvin : Can't say I've had too many expectations on the subject. Cappie : This is the lunch buffet. Complimentary, I might add. Rusty : Ah. They serve casserole. Cappie : No, no, those are Buffalo wings. Rusty : Mincemeat pie? Cappie : Warm taco meat. Calvin : OK, enough of Name That Tray. Cappie : What, you don't like tacos? Calvin : That and I'm about to puke. Cappie : Don't worry, all right? The food gets better after a few rounds. Calvin : Fake. Fake. Oh, I bet she has back problems. Rusty : Look where she's putting those bills. Calvin : Which will go right back into circulation. By the end of the week, it could end up under some kid's pillow from a tooth fairy. Cappie : Lunch is on me today. Three beers. Three beers. What do you guys want? Rusty : Uh... Coke. Cappie : Excuse me, miss, do you take student health insurance? Waitress : Yes, I do. Calvin : How'd you get wrangled into this? Rusty : What's the worst thing you can imagine? Calvin : This. Rusty : Telling your girlfriend "I love you" and getting a "thank you" back. Calvin : Ouch. Hey, man, don't panic, you know? I'm having trouble with my he-friend too. But that's... it's dating. It's all about communication. Rusty : Maybe I should call her. Calvin : Mmm. Face-to-face is usually better in these situations. Rusty : She said "thank you" to my face. Calvin : Right, probably better to call. Jen K : Hello? Rusty? Calvin : Say something. Jen K : Rusty? Calvin : What? We could've planned that better. Rusty : In less then 24 hours I went from boyfriend, to moron, to stalker. Wade : Honeys, I'm home. Two tacos. Last time we were here we owned this place. ZBZ HOUSE - Living room Casey : Out. Out. Jen K : Are you OK? Casey : Just scouting out the other acts. Jen K : Maybe I should just stand and you could dance around me. Casey : Trust me, you'll be fine. There's a great dancer in all of us. Jen K : Yeah, buried deeper in some than others. Casey : But they don't have me as a teacher. All right, let's go. Five, six, seven, eight. Jen K : Oh! I'm OK. Casey : I don't want to put pressure on you, but the show is tomorrow. Jen K : I know. I'm just a little preoccupied. Rusty said, "I love you. " Casey : Aww. Oh. After three weeks? What did you say? Jen K : "Thank you. " Casey : At least you were polite. You don't feel the same way? Jen K : I don't know. I mean, he just kind of took me by surprise, you know? Casey : Well, just know Rusty's new to all this. Dale : Hey. I was just in the neighborhood, thought I'd see how our show's doing. Casey : Oh, really well. Dale : Oh, you. Hello. Jen K : I'm just gonna go... away. Casey : Well, thanks for stopping by. Dale : Oh, uh, no, this is for you. It's just some guidelines I typed up last night. You know, content control. Casey : "Lyrics should be printed and presented prior to performance for approval. No nudity during any part of the performance... " Dale : Or implied intercourse. Casey : "Side-breast and buttocks crack is also prohibited. Displays of anti-social behavior, gang activity, vulgarity or the occult are prohibited. " OK. "See next page. " I'm sure we can handle this. Dale : Great. Um... Oh, also, one more thing. I have great news. I want my band to play. Casey : You... have a band. Dale : We call ourselves Darwin Lied. Casey : That I'm sure is awesome. But we can't break the continuity of the show. See, the dental hygiene section, it comes before table manners... Dale : We'll come on afterwards. Really go out with a bang. Casey : Our show's more of a sunny experience. Dale : Well, I admit, Darwin Lied has a punishing sound, but we're pretty positive too. They're my purity pledge brothers. Casey : Hey, maybe, maybe you could work the lights? Dale : You know, maybe we'll just scrap the whole show, just use the band. Casey : OK, I guess you're in. Dale : Great. Trust me, you have no idea how hard we rock. Casey : Yeah. Dale : Good to see you... CRU Club Cappie : Your first lap dance. Oh, I remember when Egyptian Joe treated me to my first and 17th through 20th. You like, huh? Rusty : She had Jen K.'s watch. Cappie : Spitter, what possessed you to ignore my advice? Have I ever led you afoul? Like really afoul, like of the law? I did it because of a law. Which one? Together we'll fight it. Rusty : Newton's first law of motion. It deals with inertia. Cappie : Ah. In an isolated system, a body at rest, your love life, will remain at rest, unless disturbed by an unbalanced force... you and your L-word. Rusty : You were a physics major for a while. Cappie : Bingo. Rusty : Yeah, I thought she was telling me if I didn't take control of the relationship and keep it moving forward then I'd lose her. Cappie : OK. Relax. Mm-hmm. Oh, uh-huh. You see how we make rash decisions when we disregard medical advice? What you need is more lap dances, stat. Calvin : Hey, should we get a lap dance? You know, just to say we experimented through college? Heath : What are you doing here? Calvin : Rusty invited me. Don't worry, I'll try not to hit on you too hard in front of your brothers. Relax, it's fine. Heath : It's not that. It's, um... after I saw you last night. I met this guy. We hooked up. Calvin : With who? Heath : Doesn't matter. I was... I was mad at you. It was stupid. It'll never happen again. Calvin : No, it won't. I'm leaving. Rusty : Why? What's wrong? Cappie : Relationships suck. Rusty : Wait. Beav, lunch buffet was great, time to round them up, let's go. Beaver : I think Cappie's gonna be a while. ZBZ HOUSE - Dinning room Rebecca : Did you finish it already? Ashleigh : Yeah. Rebecca : Looks like your plan's working. Casey's definitely sitting up and taking notice. Ashleigh : Yep. Rebecca : Is it just me or is there like this weird vortex in this house? Casey's at the center of it and we're all defined by our relationship to her. You're the sidekick. I'm Satan. Ashleigh : Uh, you've done plenty to earn the Satan name. Rebecca : But that's not all I am, any more than all you are is her sidekick. Ashleigh : Can we please not use that term? Rebecca : Exactly. We should be defining our own terms. Ashleigh : Casey's still my friend. I just don't want her to keep seeing me as... what you said. Rebecca : Exactly. Ashleigh : Just because you and I shared a snack food and a dance doesn't mean we're friends. Rebecca : We don't have to be enemies either, just because of who we are to Casey. For what it's worth, I was appalled by the way our sisters, Casey included, ganged up on you to dump Travis. Ashleigh : Why would you care? Rebecca : Because I've seen it before. My dad almost divorced my mom because she didn't poll well. But there was a four percent margin of error so they're still together. CRU Club Rusty : They're bringing the check now, so we can go home. Cappie : We are home. We got everything we need right here. Rusty : Not everything. Capppie : Are you still hung up on that little minx? After all this? I had a little minx once. She was the fairest of all the forest creatures, but I let her get away. Bad Cappie. Rusty : All this and the cleaning? That was about a girl? We better get going. Cappie : No. No, I'm not leaving. I can sleep in the booth. I can live off the casserole and dance on the stage to work off the casserole. It's been nice knowing you, Spitter. Take care. You and your family. Rusty : There's something definitely wrong with him. Wade : He's fine. Beaver : I hear you, but drunk and sloppy Cappie is way better than mop and scrub Cappie. Waitress : Your friend's credit card was rejected. I hope you've got some cash. Rusty : $275? Beaver : Hey, he said he was buying. Rusty : None of you have any money to cover Cappie? Cap. Cappie. ZBZ HOUSE - Living room [SCENE_BREAK] Evan : Lucky for you, I am an amazing boyfriend. By the way, why couldn't Ashleigh play the lizard? Casey : Yeah. We're kinda in a fight. She's bummed about her breakup with Travis and taking it out on me because I didn't like him. I thought I'd give her some space, and she said thank you by pairing with Rebecca, which is fine by me. I'm not her punching bag. Evan : Yeah, you seem fine. Casey : Yeah. Evan : So if Ashleigh asked you to dump me, would you do it? Casey : I... It wasn't just me. It was Frannie and the Standards Board too. Evan : You know how much your opinion matters. She's been your biggest fan since freshman year. Casey : Yeah. During Rush, I was actually close to taking a bid at Tri-Pi. Ashleigh found out one of the girls hated me and was gonna ding me out two weeks later. And she keyed the girl's car. Evan : You never told me that. Someone keyed my car this rush. Casey : But like I was saying, we totally know each other. We share the same opinions and feelings about stuff. We were always so in sync. Now, it's all... weird. Evan : No. If you're that much in sync, then I'm sure she feels the exact same way. She probably misses you too. Yeah, that's you. Casey : Hello? CRU Club Man : Whoo! Check out the sexy librarian. I'd like to check you out and get a late fee. Casey : I'm not a stripper! Man : Oh, come on, baby. Casey : Good work, guys. Beaver : Save us, Wonder Woman. Casey : It's for Leading a Good Life. Beaver : Yeah, I bet it is. Rusty : Guys. My sister. Casey : You want me to bail you dorks out or not? Rusty : Yes, please. Casey : Girlfriend doesn't say "I love you" and you end up in a strip club? Rusty : She told you? Casey : We're in a sorority, not a secret society. What'd you guys do, taser him? Beaver : Come on. Let's go. That better be a 20, bro. Rusty : He's messed up. I think some girl dumped him or something. CRU STREET - Casey's cars Casey : 275 bucks? This is so typical Cappie. Rusty : What are you not saying? Casey : Um... Cappie and I may have revisited our history recently. Things kind of escalated. Rusty : Escalated how? Casey : We kissed. That's it. It was a big, stupid lapse of judgment. Rusty : You're his minx. Casey : His what? Rusty : I thought it was over between you guys. Casey : Just because we stopped dating doesn't mean all the feelings were gone. Rusty : When he finally tells you how he feels, you dump him for Evan? Casey : Surprising, right? Rusty : You led him on, Case. He probably thought all he had to do was make his move. And when he finally opened up, you broke his heart. Did you at least thank him? Casey : We weren't right for each other, and he knew it. Evan and I have plans, goals, ambitions. Cappie has... Kappa Tau. Rusty : But what about love? Do you love Evan? Casey : Of course I do. But love isn't simple, Rusty. And considering what you're going through right now, you of all people should appreciate that. KT HOUSE - Living room Cappie : Hey, Spitter. Rusty : You're psychic? Cappie : Waxed floors, remember? I'd know that depressed shuffle anywhere. What's with this welt on my head? Did I enjoy it? Rusty : Absolutely. Although, yesterday's excursion has opened my eyes to the perils of women. Cappie : It's just a bump, Spitter. Rusty : No, I mean relationships, they suck. I never want to go through what you did with Casey. Cappie : I missed something here. Rusty : She's the one who bailed us out. She told me. About you two. Cappie : Ah. Rusty : I should've taken your advice in the first place. Cappie : But you were right, Spitter. I was wrong. Rusty : What about? Cappie : Saying the L-word. Rusty : I said it, but I'm not even sure if I meant it. Cappie : At least you said it. By the time I came clean to the pretty Cartwright, the Evan train had already left the station. Rusty : So how do you know when you mean it? Cappie : I don't know. I... I guess it's a kind of burning, itching sensation. But, you know, in a good way. Rusty : You think if you would have told Casey how you felt sooner, you would be together? Cappie : Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe she just would've said... "Thank you. " The point is it's not some law or equation. You can't predict the outcome. Rusty : Then why go through with it if all you know is, if it doesn't work out, you'll be destroyed? Cappie : Because what you get before it ends, no matter how it ends, can rock. The truth is, I wouldn't trade my time with Casey for anything. Rusty : Even a night with the naughty nurse? Cappie : Oh, that would explain the stethoscope. SHOW Frannie : Two minutes. Let's go, ladies. Ashleigh : I need Casey's eyebrow pencil. It's the perfect color. You know what? I'm fine, thanks. Casey : Jen K., why aren't you dressed? Frannie : Come on, everyone. Come on, please. Find that phone. Who didn't turn off their phone? Casey : It's mine. I turned it off. Sorry. Frannie : OK. Come on. Let's go. Let's go. We're on. CRU STREET Heath : Hey. Calvin : Hey. Heath : You left without saying anything. Calvin : Probably better you didn't hear what I had to say. Heath : I messed up, I know. We should've talked about it first. Calvin : Talk about it? Before you cheated on me? Heath : I'm not sure I even really cheated on you. I mean, this isn't exactly a traditional courtship. You said you wanted to keep things loose. So now you can be free to play the field. If you want. Calvin : Oh, yeah. Totally. Heath. Guess I'll see you around. SHOW Jen K : Rusty. Rusty : I don't love you. Jen K : What? Rusty : I only said it because I wanted to prove that I wasn't like your ex. That I could take the initiative in the romance department. I just... I took it a little too far. Jen K : So you don't love me? Rusty : No. I mean, not yet. Well, maybe I do. I don't know. I'm not sure. Look, here's what I do know: I want an experience that I wouldn't trade anything for and I want that experience to be with you. Jen K : Thank you. Me too. With you. Um... Will you? Rusty : What the hell was this show? Jen K : I'm stuck. Dale : Not all angels are in heaven. This song's for you, Casey Cartwright. " There once was a young lad Who dreamed of a girl with a pretty, pretty smell She forced him through the valley of the shadow of doubt And their slumber felt like heaven But they woke up in hell Heathens be warned You better listen to me Or it's fire and brimstone for eternity Repent all your sins 'cause your life is at stake You better pray the Lord for your soul to take Heathens be warned You better listen to me Or it's fire and brimstone for eternity Repent all your sins 'cause your life is at stake You better pray the Lord for your soul to take" DOBLERS Casey : Travis says he's sorry he had to cancel your visit to Providence next week, but he misses you, a lot. Ashleigh : So now what? Casey : Now, I apologize. First, for judging your love life. I'm in no position to judge or organize anyone else's. Ashleigh : Want to talk about it? Is it that bad? Casey : No, Ash. For once, we need to talk about you. We think alike so much, I just assumed that applied to everything. I quit checking in on what you needed. That's the second apology I owe you. Ashleigh : Accepted. I know you want what's best for me. Casey : Yeah. Ashleigh : I missed my Mary-Kate. Casey : I missed my Ashleigh. CRU - Rusty's room Rusty : I love... the cottage cheese on the ceiling. Jen K : I love... this song. Rusty : I love... my comforter. Jen K : Hmm. I think I might love you. Rusty : I think I might too. We can still move our relationship forward. If you want to. Jen K : I'd love that.	Plan: A: Things; Q: What is still frosty between Ashleigh and Casey? A: ZBZ; Q: Who puts on a show for Dale's after school care program? A: her; Q: What does Rusty tell Jen K he loves? A: a strip club; Q: Where does Cappie take Rusty to get over Casey? A: Calvin; Q: Who did Heath break up with? A: Heath; Q: Who confesses to hooking up with another guy? A: their breakup; Q: What does Heath's confession of hooking up with another guy cause? Summary: Things are still frosty between Ashleigh and Casey, as ZBZ puts together a show for Dale's after school care program. Jen K and Rusty hit their own icy patch, when Rusty prematurely tells her he loves her, prompting Cappie to take Rusty to a strip club , as Cappie tries to get over Casey. Following an argument with Calvin after their date, Heath confesses to hooking up with another guy, forcing their breakup.
FURY FROM THE DEEP by VICTOR PEMBERTON first broadcast - 23rd March 1968 running time - 23mins 55secs [SCENE_BREAK] 1. OXYGEN STORE ROOM (VICTORIA watches terrified as the weed and foam surge towards her across the floor.) VICTORIA: Doctor... Jamie... hurry. [SCENE_BREAK] 2. CORRIDOR (Both men charge down the corridor, looking everywhere for VICTORIA.) DOCTOR/JAMIE: Victoria! Victoria, where are you!? Victoria! [SCENE_BREAK] 3. OXYGEN STORE ROOM (The weed creature gets closer and closer to VICTORIA.) VICTORIA: No! (She screams...) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. CORRIDOR, OUTSIDE OXYGEN STORE ROOM (The screams lead the DOCTOR and JAMIE straight to the Oxygen Store Room.) JAMIE: In here! DOCTOR: (Smelling/hearing the hissing noise from the door.) Gas! (Both men are overcome by a violent fit of sneezing. Composing themselves they force the door open. VICTORIA is still shouting out "No!" as the creature advances towards her. Unable to see the weed creature, the DOCTOR and JAMIE pull VICTORIA into the corridor, and all three collapse by the side of the now closed door.) VICTORIA: Doctor! JAMIE: What happened? DOCTOR: Deep breath... take deep breaths (ROBSON, the CHIEF ENGINEER and VAN LUTYENS appear at the end of the corridor. They see the three travellers and charge down the corridor towards them.) ROBSON: What's going on here? Who let you three out of the cabin? (VAN LUTYENS and the CHIEF ENGINEER open the door to the Oxygen Store Room and immediately have to cover their mouths because of the gas.) VAN LUTYENS: Mr Robson, in here, it's gas! ROBSON: Check it then. Find out what it is (ROBSON stands over the three while the other two staff members re-enter the OSR with handkerchiefs over their mouths.) VICTORIA: Oh, Doctor... a horrible creature. DOCTOR: (Puzzled.) Creature? VICTORIA: Didn't you see it? It was over in there. It came straight towards me... covered with seaweed and foam and this horrible hissing sound... and then I screamed... DOCTOR: (Holding her close in his arms.) All right, Victoria. ROBSON: (Cynically.) Creature?! The girl's hysterical. VAN LUTYENS: (Coming out of the Oxygen Storage Room.) Mr Robson, they're empty. The seals are broken. ROBSON: (Interrogating VICTORIA.) Why were you in there? VICTORIA: I... I was hiding. I heard someone coming, so I went in. ROBSON: (Glaring at VICTORIA.) This door is always kept locked. You broke in! You emptied those cylinders, didn't you? VICTORIA: Oh, no, no. It was open and someone locked it behind me. JAMIE: (Menacingly to ROBSON.) She's telling the truth. The door was locked from the outside. DOCTOR: Yes it was locked. VAN LUTYENS: This room wasn't full of oxygen when we came in here. It was another gas of a toxic composition. ROBSON: All right, if it was a poison gas, where did it come from? DOCTOR: What about up there? The ventilator's open. VAN LUTYENS: (To VICTORIA.) Did you open the ventilator? VICTORIA: No, it opened by itself. JAMIE: Then, whoever locked you in must have opened it. But how? VAN LUTYENS: From here. (The DOCTOR and VAN LUTYENS spot the ventilator control panel on the wall. The position on its dial is indicating "OPEN".) [SCENE_BREAK] 5. HARRIS' QUARTERS (MAGGIE is having difficulty in breathing since she was stung by the clamp of seaweed. Feeling dizzy and disorientated, she is currently lying down on the bed in the bedroom while HARRIS is sitting by her.) HARRIS: What is it, love? MAGGIE: I don't know... I feel so dazed... my hand... HARRIS: Let me see. (He examines the hand.) HARRIS: It looks all right. What happened? MAGGIE: I don't... remember. HARRIS: You said you were stung or something. MAGGIE: Did I? Why, yes... yes, yes it must have been. I went to get the file you asked for. I put my hand inside... (She rises from the bed and turns to HARRIS.) MAGGIE: ...and then... it was seaweed. HARRIS: All right, my love... (HARRIS helps MAGGIE back down onto the bed, smoothes her forehead with his hand and kisses her gently.) HARRIS: ...lie still and rest. Shall I get you some food, a glass of milk or something? MAGGIE: Honey... you couldn't even boil an egg. HARRIS: You shouldn't have married a scientist then. Maggie! MAGGIE: Darling...darling... darling... (MAGGIE rises, suddenly, from the bed and hugs HARRIS.) HARRIS: Maggie! (But MAGGIE stares towards the kitchen... The seaweed that MAGGIE had thrown out on the kitchen patio is now nestling in a bed of foam. And the bubbles and the weed are popping to emit a gaseous vapour. The relentless thumping heartbeat grows in intensity, tearing into MAGGIE's mind... HARRIS tries to get her to lie down again but fails.) HARRIS: What is it, love? What's the matter? MAGGIE: I still don't know... I just feel... (HARRIS manages to get her head down on the pillow again.) HARRIS: I better get you a doctor. I'll go back and see if Dr Paterson's returned yet from Rig D. Will you be all right? MAGGIE: I think so. HARRIS: Well if he isn't back, there's this other doctor, he might be able to help. I won't be long. (MAGGIE looks like she is falling asleep and, with a last look at his wife, HARRIS leaves his quarters. MAGGIE's eyes spring open as she listens to the thumping sound of the heartbeat. Then, like a zombie, she rises from the bed and moves slowly into the kitchen. The heartbeat grows louder and louder as she moves towards the kitchen patio door. She opens the door to see the out-of-control seaweed clump expanding in size. She slams the door and locks it. Rubbing her eyes, she stands with her back to the door, looking totally bewildered.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6. IMPELLER ROOM (In the Impeller Room, ROBSON and VAN LUTYENS push their way through a crowd of engineers who are anxiously watching a cluster of meters on the wall. The CHIEF ENGINEER turns to greet ROBSON.) ROBSON: So what's the panic? CHIEF: It's the pump, sir! The revs have dropped. VAN LUTYENS: The pump is slowing down? CHIEF: Yes, she's not holding steady even now. I don't understand it. ROBSON: Well don't stand there thinking about it, man, do a complete check. DOCTOR: Excuse me, may I say something? (They all turn to the DOCTOR who is at the back of the room. ROBSON's glance tells him to mind his own business.) DOCTOR: When I was in the pipe room, a short while ago, I'm sure I heard a movement coming from inside the pipe. VAN LUTYENS: What kind of movement? DOCTOR: Well, the same as I heard on the beach, a sort of thumping sound. VAN LUTYENS: But that's what they heard out at the rigs. ROBSON: (Snaps.) What you heard, and what everybody else heard, was a mechanical fault somewhere along the line. DOCTOR: Then why did they hear it out at the rig? ROBSON: Because, my friend, underneath this impeller shaft is a vast sealed gasometer buried in the earth. It acts like an echo chamber. It'll make the sound of a pin dropping sound like that of a thunder clap. It travels along the pipes. DOCTOR: Oh, this wasn't a mechanical sound. ROBSON: All right then, suppose there is something in the pipe, a fish or something. What do you want me to do about it? (There is no doubt that the DOCTOR has put ROBSON on the defensive.) DOCTOR: Turn off the gas flow. At least until you've had a chance to investigate. ROBSON: That's out of the question. VAN LUTYENS: Mr Robson, if there is something in the pipeline... ROBSON: (Adamant.) We do not turn off the flow, and that is final. (The CHIEF ENGINEER has been checking the readings...) CHIEF: Mr Robson, sir. ROBSON: Yes? CHIEF: Down another half. ROBSON: It must be a mechanical fault. Get a couple of men and check, man, check. VAN LUTYENS: If you allow the pressure to build up in the pipeline, you'll blow the whole rig sky-high. DOCTOR: And blow us with it. VAN LUTYENS: All because you're too stubborn to turn off the gas. ROBSON: All right, what do you think it is? One of these creatures the hysterical girl thought she saw. DOCTOR: Well who knows. [SCENE_BREAK] 7. CONTROL CONE (PRICE is showing JAMIE and VICTORIA the layout of the complex. They both look at the equipment in awe...) JAMIE: You mean to say that this place supplies all the gas for the whole of the south of England? PRICE: And the whole of Wales. (VICTORIA's face is illuminated by a succession of different coloured lights, flashing on and off all over the Cone.) VICTORIA: What are all those lights for? PRICE: (Pointing to the equipment.) Well that's a plan of the entire compound, and each of those lights represents a remote control camera that I can switch through to this screen, if I want to look at any particular area. Like this. (He switches the camera showing JAMIE and VICTORIA different parts of the complex.) JAMIE: Oh. Where are all these 'rigs' people talk about? PRICE: Well, they're out at sea of course, but that plan over there shows you the relative position of all the rigs under our command. (VICTORIA points to the large red-coloured oblong shape in the centre of the panel that PRICE has just pointed out.) VICTORIA: What's the big one in the middle? PRICE: Well that's the central Control Rig complex, the sort of the nerve centre of the whole thing. The other rigs feed her with gas, and she in turn pumps it to us via the main pipeline, see. VICTORIA: How awful to have to live out at sea. And lonely. PRICE: Oh, I don't know. Mr Robson once spent four years on one of the early rigs without ever going ashore. JAMIE: Aye, that would account for quite a lot. (The man himself enters the room and immediately starts giving orders. He turns to one of the engineers.) ROBSON: Hey you! Come in here and give a hand. JAMIE: Doesn't that man ever call anyone by their name? PRICE: Well they'd probably be in trouble if he does. No, he's all right, is Robson. Certainly knows all there is to know about rigs, anyway. (HARRIS, looking very worried, enters the room and goes straight up to PRICE.) HARRIS: Price! Has Doctor Paterson returned from Rig D yet? PRICE: No, sir. (HARRIS spots VICTORIA and JAMIE. He goes up to them.) HARRIS: Where's your friend, the Doctor? JAMIE: In there... (He points to the Impeller Area. HARRIS immediately goes down to the Impeller Area where he meets the DOCTOR coming back with VAN LUTYENS into the control room.) HARRIS: Doctor! Doctor, I need your help. It's my wife. She's very ill. DOCTOR: (Awkwardly.) Well I'm not sure that I... HARRIS: You must come. ROBSON: (Firmly.) He will not go with you. HARRIS: This is an emergency, it's my wife. ROBSON: These people are in my custody, until I decide what to do with them. HARRIS: (Almost pleading.) But my wife! ROBSON: (Snaps.) Don't bring your domestic affairs into the refinery, Harris. (To the other staff in the room.) That goes for the rest of you. HARRIS: (Appalled and through clenched teeth.) Mr Robson, my wife is ill. If anything happens to her, I'll... ROBSON: All right, one hour. HARRIS: (To the DOCTOR.) Come with me. (HARRIS and the three time travellers rush from the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8. HARRIS' QUARTERS (MAGGIE has opened her front door to two strange men. One of them, Mr. OAK, is small and fat. The other, Mr. QUILL, is tall and thin. Both of them are dressed in a white cap, tunic and trousers. They look like medical orderlies.) OAK: Mrs Harris? MAGGIE: Yes. OAK: We are maintenance controllers, madam. I wonder if we might have a few words with your husband? MAGGIE: Oh, my husband isn't here, He's at the compound. OAK: Oh dear, that does make it rather difficult. We've come to carry out an inspection. MAGGIE: Inspection? OAK: In the Kitchen. Your husband didn't tell you? MAGGIE: No. Couldn't it wait until another day? I'm... I'm not feeling very well. OAK: I'm sorry, madam, it has to be carried out without delay. Chief Robson's instructions. MAGGIE: That man never stops giving instructions, does he? Oh, I suppose you better come in then. OAK: Thank you. My name is Mr Oak and this is my colleague, Mr Quill. (The two men enter the quarters, QUILL raising his cap in greeting.) MAGGIE: Yes, well, please be quick. I'm really not very well. OAK: Of course, madam. Now don't you worry about us, Mrs Harris, you won't even know that we're here. Will she? (MAGGIE disappears quickly back into her bedroom. Only then does Mr. OAK's smile fade. The two men enter the kitchen.) OAK: The bag, Mr Quill. (While OAK starts to examine the cooker, QUILL takes two pairs of white gloves out of the bag...) [SCENE_BREAK] 9. IMPELLER AREA (The CHIEF is still keeping an eye on the readings.) CHIEF: Mr Van Lutyens. VAN LUTYENS: What is it? CHIEF: Feed line from the Control Rig. An excessive pressure build up in the pipeline. VAN LUTYENS: She's almost up to capacity. CHIEF: She'll blow herself wide open. VAN LUTYENS: So there's a build up in the pressure coming in from the rigs and a drop in the pressure of the flow going out to the receiving stations. CHIEF: There must be something interfering with the impeller itself. [SCENE_BREAK] 10. CONTROL CONE (PRICE gets a message from the Communicator.) PRICE: Mr Robson, sir. ROBSON: Yes. PRICE: This is from Control Rig, sir. They say there's a pressure build up in their feed line, sir. ROBSON: Right, ask them how much, will you. (VAN LUTYENS enters from the Impeller Area.) VAN LUTYENS: Almost up to danger level, Mr Robson. Shall I give the order to turn off the gas? ROBSON: You will not, Mr Van Lutyens. VAN LUTYENS: There'll be an explosion any minute. ROBSON: There will not be an explosion. VAN LUTYENS: There must be, if you don't turn off the gas. (ROBSON turns his back on the Dutchman and yells out some orders.) ROBSON: Open release valve, Section D, full pressure, will you? VAN LUTYENS: What are you doing, man? It's too late for that. You can't possibly release enough gas in time. ROBSON: You want to bet, Mr Van Lutyens? [SCENE_BREAK] 11. HARRIS' QUARTERS (MAGGIE is sitting at a dressing table in the bedroom. Now and then banging sounds come from the kitchen. MAGGIE looks very tired and drawn. In the kitchen, the two men suddenly stop work as the heartbeat starts up again. Both men are now wearing gloves. With a smile OAK turns on the cooker and QUILL opens the patio door. As the two men turn and start to walk towards the bedroom, the foam starts to sweep into the kitchen. In the bedroom, MAGGIE is brushing her hair. When she looks into the dresser mirror she sees OAK and QUILL looking at her with stupid, idiotic grins on their faces. She looks at them in puzzlement.) MAGGIE: What are you doing in here? (No answer.) MAGGIE: Is there something that you want? (They both stare at her with their grins, and MAGGIE starts to look worried. She starts to move away, but then OAK and QUILL open their mouths wider and wider, toxic gas hissing out. MAGGIE tries to back away from them, but they are between her and the door. Soon MAGGIE is overcome by the gas and collapses on the floor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12. SEA (Somewhere along a lonely stretch of beach, the hissing sound of gas continues. This time however, it is being released from the valve on top of the giant pipeline tube. The hissing sound suddenly stops, as the valve is closed.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13. IMPELLER AREA (A large cheer goes up from the Engineers when the readings change.) CHIEF: It's down. The pressure in the pipeline, it's back to normal. (VAN LUTYENS says something in Dutch (probably "Thank Goodness") and then carries on...) VAN LUTYENS: I wouldn't have thought you could possibly have done it in the time. ROBSON: When you have too much gas in the tube, you release it. Didn't they teach you that much back at evening classes in the Hague, Mr Van Lutyens? (He turns to PRICE.) ROBSON: Contact Chief Baxter, Control Rig, will you? Tell him the immediate crisis is over. Oh, and a... contact the other rig chiefs. PRICE: Right. VAN LUTYENS: But the feed out to the receiving stations is still dropping. The impeller is still slowing down... (This causes ROBSON to snap... again.) ROBSON: What's the matter with you, Van Lutyens? You've been trying to teach me my job ever since you came here. I've been drilling for gas in the North Sea for most of my life. I don't need people like you or Harris to teach me how to do it. PRICE: (From the communicator.) Mr Robson, sir. It's C Rig, sir. Can't raise them, no response at all. VAN LUTYENS: (Ironically.) So, the immediate crisis is over, yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] 14. HARRIS' QUARTERS (HARRIS and the TARDIS crew arrive at HARRIS' quarters to see the front door was wide open.) HARRIS: Maggie, I've brought the Doctor. VICTORIA: Oh no it's the same... DOCTOR: I smell gas! There's gas in this house! JAMIE: It's coming from in here. (JAMIE points to the bedroom and all four charge in. MAGGIE is lying alone on the floor, but OAK and QUILL are nowhere to be seen. The gas is overpowering, and the four have to cover their mouths and noses to stop themselves breathing in the gas.) DOCTOR: The Window, Jamie! Jamie, the window! Quickly! Quickly! (JAMIE, with a wooden chair, smashes open the bedroom window. Clear air rushes into the room. HARRIS kneels by his wife, trying to awake her.) HARRIS: Maggie... [SCENE_BREAK] 15. CONTROL CONE/IMPELLER AREA (PRICE turns from the communicator.) PRICE: I'm sorry, sir, I can't raise them. (At the area between the Control Cone and the Impeller Area, VAN LUTYENS and ROBSON are arguing.) VAN LUTYENS: There, are you pleased with what you've done? ROBSON: I'm warning you, Van Lutyens. VAN LUTYENS: And I warned you, but you are too [another Dutch word], too stubborn to listen. Look at the facts, man. The fact that we lose contact with two rigs. Have unprecedented, inexplicable pressure variations for over three weeks. ROBSON: So that's it. You've been talking with Harris, eh? VAN LUTYENS: Yeah, Mr Harris did show me his figures. Only because you refused to listen to him. That's why I went out to the Control Rig, to see if there was an explanation out there. ROBSON: And what did you find? Nothing. I'll tell you why. 'Cause there's nothing to find! VAN LUTYENS: All the same, Mr Harris' figures... ROBSON: (Almost screaming.) Are bunk! And the rest of his upply-tapey tin-pot ideas. He's still a school kid with his bits of paper and his graph and his... slide rule. You think I'm going to take any notice of him? I know every nut and bolt on every one of those rigs out there! VAN LUTYENS: (Roaring back.) All right! So your prejudice prevents you from accepting Mr Harris' calculations. But what about me? Do you treat my opinion with as much contempt? ROBSON: (Scoffs.) You? You are here to offer me your expert advice, but I'm not obliged to take it. I run this outfit the way I think fit. Is that understood? CHIEF: (Calling from the Impeller Area.) Mr Robson, the impeller. Quick, two men. (They rush into the Impeller Area.) CHIEF: She's down to 140 revs. Something must be jamming it at the base. (The Impeller slows down and stops...) VAN LUTYENS: Well, Mr Robson, where do we go from here? Come on, now, you have all the answers, don't you? CHIEF: Wait a minute, quiet! VAN LUTYENS: What is it? CHIEF: I think I can here something... (And he can. It is the unmistakable sound of the heartbeat...) [SCENE_BREAK] 16. HARRIS' QUARTERS (The DOCTOR examines MAGGIE with his stethoscope, while HARRIS and the others look on worriedly.) DOCTOR: No, no, no. No. HARRIS: Look, what's the matter with her? DOCTOR: Well she's in some sort of coma. Possibly because of this gas - it was toxic. HARRIS: It isn't possible there could have been a gas leak in the flat. Besides, natural gas isn't toxic. DOCTOR: Well this isn't natural gas. This is the gas we found when Victoria was locked in the Oxygen Room. HARRIS: But where could it have come from? DOCTOR: I don't know. What was the matter with her before this happened? HARRIS: Well, she said she'd been stung by some... seaweed or something. JAMIE: Seaweed? HARRIS: I asked her to get a file from my study, and she found the seaweed inside it. DOCTOR: Did you put it there? HARRIS: Well no, of course not. DOCTOR: (Standing up from examining MAGGIE.) There's no marks or abrasions. HARRIS: No. VICTORIA: Doctor? DOCTOR: Um. VICTORIA: What's this? DOCTOR: What. Oh! (VICTORIA points at the seaweed which is now in another corner of the bedroom.) JAMIE: A bit of seaweed. What's it doing in here? DOCTOR: It's still wet. HARRIS: Perhaps it's the same sort that Maggie was talking about. (HARRIS reaches out for the seaweed...) DOCTOR: No! Don't touch it. HARRIS: Why? DOCTOR: Well, in the first place you don't want to get stung like your wife, do you? And in the second place, whoever put it in your file meant you to touch it. HARRIS: But that's ridiculous. Wait a minute! I was sure I put that file in my briefcase this morning, but it wasn't there when I went to get it. I was on my way home... when I met Maggie. But why? Why should anyone want me to get stung by a piece of seaweed? VICTORIA: Well I hate the stuff. It's so slimy and horrid. JAMIE: Och, well you've seen seaweed before, haven't you? There was loads of it down by the pipeline this morning. (This catches the DOCTOR's interest.) DOCTOR: By the pipeline? JAMIE: Aye, the place is overrun with it. VICTORIA: Well not like that, it didn't move. JAMIE: Move? [SCENE_BREAK] 17. IMPELLER AREA (Everybody is rushing about now. The CHIEF is standing by the readings and yelling orders at everybody.) CHIEF: I want them all checked, every remote control release valve on the line. And check and double check all those circuits. (VAN LUTYENS spots the CHIEF.) VAN LUTYENS: Excuse me, Chief, could I have a word with you please? CHIEF: Yes of course. VAN LUTYENS: The impeller is still not functioning, eh? CHIEF: No it's not. VAN LUTYENS: And that sound we heard, have you heard it again? CHIEF: No. As Mr Robson says, it's probably just a mechanical fault. VAN LUTYENS: You believe that? CHIEF: Well it's really not my job to... VAN LUTYENS: Ah! Come on, man, you're the chief engineer, the impeller is your responsibility. CHIEF: It's not my job to formulate theories, it's Mr Robson's. (The name causes VAN LUTYENS to explode.) VAN LUTYENS: Robson! Robson, what's the matter with you? Are you frightened of him or something? CHIEF: No, Mr Van Lutyens, I just respect his judgement. VAN LUTYENS: Well I'm sorry Chief. Could I have a word with you in private? CHIEF: Well I... VAN LUTYENS: It's important. CHIEF: (To the other Engineers.) Check the feed valves! (The two men walk into the Control Hall and VAN LUTYENS pulls out a diagram.) VAN LUTYENS: I've been looking at the installation plan, and the ah... impeller intake is rather particular. I think I know where the blockage may be. CHIEF: All right. (The Dutchman takes out a small pen and uses it to point some things out on the diagram.) VAN LUTYENS: Well this valve is at the base of the main shaft and leads directly to the intake, yeah? CHIEF: Uhum. VAN LUTYENS: Well as far as I can see there is no point between that valve and the... Control Rig where a blockage could occur big enough to stop the impeller. (The Dutchman points this area out, but the CHIEF points out another area.) CHIEF: Apart from the undersea emergency valve. VAN LUTYENS: But you've got remote control observation on those and they're free. CHIEF: Um. VAN LUTYENS: So the impeller intake must be at fault. CHIEF: It's possible. VAN LUTYENS: Possible, man, it's the only answer! What we have to do is to go down and free that valve. CHIEF: I'll have to check with Mr Robson. (The Dutchman explodes again at the mention of ROBSON...) VAN LUTYENS: Robson! Robson! What's the matter with you? Are you children? Can't you do anything on your own initiative? CHIEF: Look, I can't send men down there without his approval. VAN LUTYENS: (Snaps.) Can you not also blow your nose without approval? (This causes the CHIEF to turn and face VAN LUTYENS with a stony face.) CHIEF: Now listen to me, Mr Van Lutyens. I've worked with Mr Robson a long time. We were out there on those rigs together in the early days. You may think he's wrong to run this place in the way he does, but I trust him. And I take orders from him purely because I trust his judgement. No other reason. VAN LUTYENS: I'm sorry, Chief, I shouldn't have said that. You forgive me, yeah? Now what I would like you to do is to go to Mr Robson and say you think we know where the blockage is, and get official permission to inspect the bass of the shaft. CHIEF: Listen, if that's your theory, that's not mine. VAN LUTYENS: It's the only possibility. Anyway, that sound you heard, it must have come from the bass of the shaft. CHIEF: If the main valve was open it could be an echo from any one of those rigs. VAN LUTYENS: If it is open! But you do not know that it is open, and you will not know until you go down and check. CHIEF: Well, I suppose I could put it to him. VAN LUTYENS: You're not going to tell me that that is a mechanical fault. CHIEF: I'll go and see him. VAN LUTYENS: He's in his cabin. (Just then, ROBSON actually enters the room and the CHIEF calls him over.) CHIEF ENGINEER: Chief! ROBSON: What's the matter? CHIEF ENGINEER: Mr Robson, that noise in the impeller, it's started again. I think we should go down and check the main valve. ROBSON: Oh, you do, do you? CHIEF ENGINEER: It's right where we think the blockage is. (ROBSON catches the "We".) ROBSON: We? CHIEF ENGINEER: Well, Mr Van Luty... ROBSON: Mr Van Lutyens. I thought he'd get his nose in. ENGINEER: Come on! ROBSON: You lot get back to work! (He spots VAN LUTYENS and starts to march up to him.) ROBSON: Van Lutyens, I want to talk to you. (VAN LUTYENS is standing by the actual pipeline.) VAN LUTYENS: Mr Robson, there is something alive in the pipeline. (It is clear that ROBSON is just holding onto his temper.) ROBSON: You're out of your mind, there's nothing down there. CHIEF ENGINEER: I promise you, sir, I did hear something. ROBSON: You've been unnerving my crew. Now you, get out! (The heartbeat starts up again.) VAN LUTYENS: Listen! (The CHIEF hears it too.) CHIEF ENGINEER: That's it! ROBSON: Did you hear what I said? VAN LUTYENS: Shut up and listen will you! Down there... in the darkness... waiting...	Plan: A: Maggie; Q: What is the name of the character that Harris asks the Doctor to help? A: Van Lutyens; Q: Who is the Chief Engineer? A: the impeller; Q: What is blocked? Summary: Harris asks for the Doctor's help with Maggie with Van Lutyens and the Chief Engineer attempt to find out what is blocking the impeller.
56th Episode of Roswell Production Code: 3ADA13 Opens at Meta-chem Corporation 11.29pm Michael's sleeping on the job Malcolm: Mike. Wake up. Michael: What. Malcolm: Check this out. (He balances his pen on his nose) Michael: You, you woke me up for that? Malcolm: I had it a second ago. Michael: Man I miss those other guys. These two man shifts are boring as hell. Malcolm: ? Economic times. (Michael pulls off a Band-Aid) What happened to your hand? Michael: I put it through a window. Malcolm: On purpose? Michael: Maria issues. Malcolm: Man no chick is worth that. Michael: Nope. Malcolm: So you wanna hang out this weekend? I need an opponent. I just got Madden 2002 and the computer keeps kickin my ass. Michael: Alright but I get to be the ravens. Malcolm: Fine but you can't have Jamal Lewis 'cause he's out in real life. Michael: I don't need him cause I got Ray Lewis. Malcolm: Well whatever then your goin down sucker. Michael: Alright it's on. Time for the rounds though. Let's go. As they go do the rounds men in white suits come in and clear out the room they were just in. They find Michael's Band-Aid. Liz: Dear Maria. Spending a week on a cramped smelly bus was one of the most liberating experiences of my entire life. The further away I got from Roswell, the more I felt like myself again. You know, like a normal teenager. In fact, when I finally got to the Winnaman academy it was like coming home. Liz mails the letter... and goes to get settled in. Principle: We have very strict rules here at Winnaman. Probably a much more disciplined atmosphere than your used to. Liz: That's exactly what I want right now. Principle: Good. Because we do have rules and we expect them to be followed. Curfew's at nine, No boys allowed on campus. There'll be no smoking, no drinking and drugs will not be tolerated. Liz: I guess the other girls feel like this is some sort of prison. But I'm actually grateful to have Some boundaries clearly laid out for me. With a little discipline maybe I'll make it to Harvard After all. Gets to her dorm room. Her roommate opens the door. Liz: I think this is supposed to be my room. Roommate: You think. Liz: Well, yea it is. Roommate: Well I knew my single was too good to last. Liz: Are you Ilene Burrows? Ileen: Yea, I'm the welcoming committee. You must be um Elizabeth Parker. Liz: Did they not tell you I was coming. Ileen: No But you might wanna lose the name tag cause your an inmate now. So um, Elizabeth, Liz, I mean what, what should I call you? (she takes out cigarettes) Liz: Beth, I just, I go by Beth. Ileen: Where are you from Beth? Liz: California. Ileen: What part. (Lights up a cigarette) Liz: (as she puts her belongings away) Um not too far from Disneyland. Ileen: Aha Lucky you. You leave a boyfriend back there? Liz: mm-mm no, no boyfriend. Ileen: Lesbian? Liz: Sorry Ileen: Oh. No I wasn't asking for a date, I mean there are plenty of girls here who dabble With the whole, thing. (Holding up the cigarette) Is this making you uncomfortable? Liz: You know to tell you the truth, it is. I just got read a riot act by the dean and I don't Feel like getting in trouble five minutes after I've been here. Ileen: It was a rhetorical question. I'm not putting it out. Liz: Then why did you ask? Ileen: I was being polite. The door suddenly knocks. It's the dean. Ileen: Who is it? Dean: Dean Hackett. Ileen: Oh crap. (She gets up and puts out the butt and tries to clear the smoke) Liz: Um, um one second. (Liz gets undressed while Ileen sprays air freshener) Liz: One second, I'm just changing my clothes. Sorry I'll be right there (Liz lights a candle) I'm coming. (Opens door) Hi. Sorry, I just I wanted to change and get into my uniform Dean: Do I smell smoke? Liz: No, I just I lit a candle. Is that allowed? Dean: Of course. I forgot to give you these earlier. Fill them out, return them to me in the morning. Liz: I will. Thank you mame. (Liz closes the door) Ileen: Quick thinker. Liz: Practice. Maria: Dear Liz. You know they say New York can be overwhelming at first, the crowds, the noise, the restless energy and its supposed to be intimidating to first timers. Not me. I love it. I am never leaving. This is my kinda town. In fact I feel like, I don't know I feel like I've come home. Maria sees her friend on the sidewalk and throws something at him. Friend: Maria! What in the world! Maria: I'm a rock star. Come on don't look so shocked, I told you I was coming. Friend: Yeah but you didn't tell me you were coming in a limo. Maria: Well what can I say, my label loves me. Friend: Yea, obviously. They gave you a limousine. Maria: Gave is a little strong of a word, I actually borrowed it from Dominique Dayinarchick. You gotta meet her. A real live talent scout. I gotta introduce You guys, I mean I know she'll just love your stuff so. Friend: Nah, that's cool man, I mean really you don't have to do that. Maria: Come on. Its nothing, get in here though, we're going to be late for my recording Session. Let's go. Back at Meta-chem. Michael and Malcolm are doing their rounds. Michael: Secure. Malcolm: What do you think they have behind all these secret doors? Michael: Can't say I really think about it. Or give a damn. Malcolm: Well I do. Michael: Secure. Of course you do. Malcolm: See meta-chem's too secretive. I'm telling you they-they have some crashed Alien spaceship in there and-and they're using reverse engineering to steal other cool Technology. You know like where do you think remote controls come from or micro Wave ovens or cell phones. Michael: Monk, Meta-chem is a pharmaceutical company. All they have in those Classified labs is some top secret formula for new cough syrup. All right. Come on Let's go. Inside the top-secret lab, someone looking at a blood sample from Michael. Someone draws Michael's blood from a syringe. Doctor: Are you sure about this? Woman: Do it. Doctor draws back a curtain and injects Michael's blood into an IV. Back in the surveillance room. Malcolm: When am I going to get my 40 bucks? Michael: I'm not paying you. Malcolm: You can't Welch. Michael: Watch me. Playing an all star team against a regular ravens minus Jamal Lewis. That's not fair. Malcolm: Whatever take it up with the league man. I-I spent all my cash on valentines Day. Michael: You don't have a girlfriend Monk. Malcolm: Yeah, I-I spent it on myself. Michael: You're weird you know that. Monitor starts beeping. Michael: Hey we got a code blue in sector five. Pull it up. Malcolm: We got a breach. Michael: A real one. Malcolm: Yeah this one ain't a drill man. Michael: All right, uh, call 911. I'll head down to secure the area. Michael goes to check the area and finds the door open and the window smashed. He calls Monk on the walkie. Michael: This exit is secure. I don't see anyone. Malcolm: Police are on the way, I'm gonna come down. Lights go off. Michael: Hey Monk what's going on. Malcolm: It wasn't me I'm already at the control center. Michael. ? I see somebody. Michael: Alright wait there I'm on my way. Malcolm: Stop! Don't move! (Michael hears gun shots) Michael: Monk. Monk! (He breaks into a run) Michael gets there to see a figure running away and Monk on the floor shot. Michael: Monk. Monk look at me. Monk look at me, don't. Monk, Malcolm. Monk. Ah, Monk. (Cries) Come on. You can't die. Morning at Meta-chem before the board. Woman: Now, let me get this straight. Uh, what happened immediately after the Alarm was tripped. Michael: We found a breach in s Woman: Yea, I can't hear you could you speak up. Michael: We found a breach in sector five and I went down to seal the exit. Woman: And Mr. Piles stayed behind. Michael: Yea, he phoned the authorities. And then the power cut, and he walkied Me over the radio sayin that he saw somebody. And uh, and then I heard the gun Shots. Woman: Fine, well I think that about wraps it up don't you gentlemen? Anybody Have any other questions? Good. Mr. Guerin you're free to go. Michael: So, that's it. Don't the police want to talk to me? Woman: No, no no. That's fine. We're going to send our notes from the inquiry Over to them. Michael: no, but. I-I should go down to the station. I'm the only eyewitness. Woman: That really won't be necessary Mr. Guerin. You know, you've clearly Been through a lot. Why don't you take a couple of days off. Michael looks at her like she just grew another limb. Michael goes to Valenti's. And knocks on the door. Kyle: Michael I'm sorry to hear about (michael storms past him as he opens the door) Michael: Valenti I need your advice. Jim: About what? Michael: Try to catch the guy who killed my friend Jim: Well aren't the police investigating. Michael: Yeah but that's the problem. I'm the only eye witness and meta-chem doesn't Want me talking to the cops. Jim: Michael calm down. Now you're gonna have to bring me up to speed. Here come on Sit down. Tell me what you saw. Michael: I caught a glimpse of the figure but it was dark. Jim: Can you give me any help at all. Was he tall or short, or fat, thin? Michael: He was pretty tall I guess, I , it was just so quick, I was just trying to help Monk. Jim: Alright what about video servaillence. Aren't there cameras in all those hallways? Michael: Yeah but the power went out and the cameras shut down. Kyle: Doesn't sound like there's a lot to go on. Jim: I'll tell you what. Maybe there is a way I can help you. Back at the Winnaman academy. Ileen talking on the pay phone. Ilene: Ok, there is no Liz Parker on this floor. Oh. Hey Liz. Um, there's somebody on the Phone for you. She hands Liz the phone. Liz: Hello Max: Liz, it's me. Liz: Hi Max. Max: I miss you. Liz: I'm sorry that I didn't call it's just that I didn't know what to say after all those horrible Things I had said. Max: I don't even care about that I-I just want to know that you're ok. Liz: I am. I'm really good, I this place it's really good for me. They have a biology club Here and I'm gonna go on a ski trip this weekend. Max: So you haven't had any more symptoms? Liz: Um, no not since I've been here. Max: That's great. So maybe you can come home soon. I mean I know all that stuff you Said in your letter about wanting to leave Roswell and get away from it and all but I know that we Can work everything out. (Liz starts reacting to his voice on the phone and the phone melts) Liz: Oh my gosh. Max: What. What happened. Liz: Nothing. Max: Liz. Are you ok? Liz: Yeah max, I'm fine, I just I really can't talk. Max: Can you call me later? Liz: Yeah, I'll try, I just I really have to get off the phone now Max, bye. A student walks up to use the phone. Liz: Um the phone doesn't work, it's, I-it's out of order. Back at the recording studio. Maria is singing one of her songs. Maria: The other half you ain't no friend of mine No, ohho. That's what brings me back again. Dom: Alright well come on this is so working. Maria: Dominique this is my very good friend Billy Darden. He's an excellent songwriter. Dom: Oh great well get me a demo. I'd love to hear it. Billy: Sure I mean if you're really interested I can just play you something right now. Dom: No actually a demo's best. Billy: Right Dom: Yea thanks. Ok. Sugar. This song. It's good. I mean it's really good you know. I just, I'm not quite sure its a home run. Do you know what I mean? Maria: So you don't wanna use this song anymore. Dom: Ok, I love it, but the label I think might wanna go with something just a little lighter. Maria; Ok, well if they want a different song I mean Billy and I can Dom: Actually I've got the song, honey. Right here. Maria: I-I don't understand I thought you wanted me because I was a songwriter. Dom: Oh well, baby we want you, you know for your voice and your look. Everything, everything The whole Deluca package. Maria: Yeah but I-I didn't write this. Dom: Yea, but professionals did. I mean no offense, my gosh I mean you're, you're just New, you're raw. Maria: I mean I-I don't even think like this. Dom: Ok. Please try it. Alright and trust me. I'll tell you what, you record this song ok and then at the End of the day if you don't like it and you wanna go with your song then we'll, we'll go with your Song. Alright? Ok, cause I just, I just want us to have options. Maria: Ok. Dom: Alright then. Maria: Ok. Dom: Perfect. Excellent. Back at the dorm room. Ilene: Is it Liz or is it Beth? Liz: I've always gone by Liz. And I'm not from California, I'm from New Mexico. Roswell. Ilene: And the part about not having a boyfriend? Liz: Uh, that guy that was on the phone. He's the reason that I'm here. Ilene: See. Just be yourself. We'll get along just fine. Back at Meta-chem. Michael playing with a yo-yo while Jim walks up. Michael: Guess the interview went well. Jim: Piece of cake. Michael: Drop my name? Jim: I didn't really have to Michael. She seemed pretty impressed with my resume. You know Being a sheriff and all. Michael: Must feel good to be back in uniform. Jim: Not really. You want to show me that crime scene. Michael: Uh, yeah. At the crime scene. Michael: This is the door they broke in. Jim: Good. They haven't fixed it yet. Michael: No I delayed the maintenance request. I figured you'd want to see it. Jim: Good thinking. Now you. If you reach you're hand through that hole, you'd still Have trouble reaching the handle to unlock it wouldn't ya. Michael: Yea, you think they had a tool or something? Jim: Anything like that turn up? Michael: Not that I know of. Jim: No look at that. You see the shards of glass how they're all pushed out. Michael: Yeah what do you think that means? Jim: It means that whatever broke this window, hit it from the inside. Nobody broke into Meta-chem that night Michael. They just wanted it to look that way. In a monitor that the woman is watching. Michael: Are you saying the guy that killed Monk works here? Jim: I'm saying it's a possibility. Still have to check a few things. Back at Valenti's house. Deputy: Brought that autopsy report that you wanted. Jim: Thanks. The company needs that for the insurance you know. Deputy: Yea, yea. Shame about that kid. Jim: Yea. So, um. Any leads? Deputy: Jim. I'm, I'm sorry, I-I can't discuss an active investigation with you. Jim: I know you can't. Of course you can't. I taught you. I just figured that uh, well you Know this being your first homicide case and all maybe I can help. Deputy: Well there is something, we uh, found this shoeprint. At the scene. I've been waiting for report back from the FBI lab but they're so backed up it could take weeks. Jim: I know a guy that might be able to help. Have to borrow this. Deputy: Sure. Actually I uh, made you a copy. [SCENE_BREAK] Back at Meta-chem. Michael: This footprint is useless the floors already been scrubbed. Jim: Not completely useless. (He sprays something on the floor and shines a blue light on the Floor and footprints emerge.) Michael: That's very cool. Jim: Here let me see that Polaroid. Michael: That's our shoe right there, right? Jim: Yea. Let's see where they lead. They follow the footprints to the security locked door. Jim: Think you can open that door? Michael: Yea. No problem. (He disarms the door) Jim: What the hell are they doin back here? Michael: No one knows. Michael finds a vial with his name and his Band-Aid in it. Michael: Valenti. Jim: What is it. Michael: That's my blood. They've been studying me. Jim: Do you think they know you're an alien? They find Liz's dress and other alien memorabilia. Michael: They definitely know. That's Liz's dress. Jim: From when she was shot? Michael: And Max healed her. We gotta get this stuff out of here. They put everything in a container and then suddenly the lights are turned on and Two workers come in. Valenti talks to them while Michael escapes. Workers: Yeah I'm not a fan of horseradish either. I mean if I get a Roast beef sandwich, mayo Is fine. Alright take a look at this here. Jim: How are you fella's doin this evening. Mind if I take a look at your ID badges? Worker: Well I don't think I, we don't usually have to carry them. Jim: It's a new policy we've instituted since the recent breakin. Worker: Well I-I left mine in my car. Do you want me to go get it? Jim: No-no. I tell you what though in the future why don't you ah, why don't you make a Point to keep it on you at all times. Worker: Ok, sir. I'll be sure to do that. Jim: You know company's clampin down on everybody since this thing happened. Makes my Job a lot tougher I'll tell ya. Suddenly the woman and her goons walk in. Woman: Hello Mr. Valenti. Back at the recording studio. Maria: (singing) It's time to start a fire, I'm done with just desire. Come and say you will be. Touch me the way you know you can. The only way that I want to feel. Love me Ok can we cut it? I'm sorry. Dom: Ok. Darlin. You don't say cut. I say cut ok. Ok so we're gonna do it again and from The second verse. Alright? Maria: K. Wait you know I just, I'm sorry this just isn't working for me. Dom: What's wrong? Maria: I don't know it's, it's just not me. I'm not feeling it or whatever. Dom: Ok, but honey. I-I really I know what these label boys want so just trust me on this. Maria: No I do, but its just these aren't my lyrics. I feel really weird singing them. Dom: Alright well fight your way through it cause you sound great. Really. Maria: I know but I mean, my, my songs are, you know, what I am. Dom: Well this is business. This isn't personal. Maria: Well yea it's personal. It's personal to me. I mean if it's not personal, it's just karaoke. I could just do that at home back at the pizza pan. Dom: The are you going to sing the song or not. Maria: No I want, I want to sing the other song. I want to sing my song. Dom: Yea well Maria. Sweety, the other song isn't going to work. Ok So we're gonna need this song. Maria: But we had a deal. You're not giving me a choice are you? Dom: Oh no. Oh nonono, honey you always have a choice. See you can Finish recording this demo, or you can head back to Roswell. Maria: Then I will head back home to Roswell. Billy: Lets go get that limo before they take it away. Back at the dorm. Ilene: And you were really arrested? Liz: Yea. I was thrown against the car and cuffed and everything. Ilene: Wow. You know when you first walked through the door I never would have guessed it. Liz: I know it's so weird saying it. It's like I'm talking about another person, you know. But I Yea it's me. It's who I've become. Ilene: So what was it like, I mean prison and everything. Liz: Um, well it was its like not much different then being here. Ilene: Ah, this place isn't so bad. You just haven't been to the rat. Liz: What's the rat? Ilene: Uh, it's a place we go to get away. I'll take you there tommorrow. Liz: Why don't we go right now? Ilene: Liz it's way past curfew. Liz: You said if I was just myself we'd get along fine right? Right? Well, this is me. Climbing the stairs to the attic. Ilene: What? Liz: Shh. I hear someone. (They hid just as the dean comes down the stairs) Ilene: That was great. Come on. In the attic where the rat is hidin. A bar. Liz: Why do they call this place the rat. Are there rats here? Ilene: No it's, it's short for ratskeller. Kind of like a bar. See. Liz: Oh. Ilene: Now, some of the girls like to drink straight from the bottle. But personally, I think a flask is class, don't you? Cheers. Back at Michael's pad. He gets off the phone. Michael: Valenti's still not answering. It's been over two hours, he should have been home. Max: Maybe he's on his way over. Isabel: How much do you think these Meta-chem people know about us? Max: We don't know how much they know. Michael: Maxwell they know enough to expose us. Isabel: I say we go back in there. A knock on the door. Michael: Valenti. Kyle: Hey were you working with my dad last night, he never came home. Michael: Did he call? Kyle: No. What's going on? Max: We need to go in now. Michael: No we can't go now. It's in the middle of a working day. Max there's millions of People. Kyle: Millions of people, what are you talking about. Isabel: Kyle, we think your dad's in trouble. Back at the dorm. Ilene: So tell me about this Max guy. Boyfriend? Liz: Boyfriend, uh ex-boyfriend I don't know. It's so weird that you don't know who Max Evans is. He's like, he's like such a big part of my life you don't even understand. Ilene: Wanna talk about it. Liz: I don't know. See it's like, it's complicated. Ilene: Yup. It's always complicated. Ok, just here try me. Liz: Well he, he was with this other girl. Ilene: He stepped out! Liz: And she got pregnant. Ilene: What? Liz: It's been really rocky since then. Ilene: I can't believe you're even with him. Once a cheater always a cheater. Liz: But see, he didn't really cheat on me because technically we weren't together at the time. Ilene: Who cares about technically, did you love him? Liz: Yeah, definitely. I still do. Ilene: And he hurt you. Liz: Yeah. Ilene: Well then he's a cheater. Liz: I wish it was that simple. You know but there's like all this, there's like all this stuff. That you don't even like know about. Ilene: Liz. It is that simple. Ok, there's always extra stuff and it's all just excuses that we make For them. Because we're afraid to leave them and we rationalize and rationalize and let them Walk on us. Why are we so afraid? And tell me what is so scary? Liz: I don't know. Ilene: I'm not afraid. (She opens the window and screams into the night) I AM NOT AFRAID! Liz: What are you doing, you are gonna get us caught. Ilene: Come on Liz, Tell the world. Screw guys who cheat! Yeah! Liz: Yeah! Screw em! Ilene: I don't need you. Liz: I am fine on my own! WOOO! Ilene: Yeah! Take that! Back at Michael's pad. Michael: Ok this is how it works. I'm gonna go in first. Alone. Kyle: Where's my walkie talkie? Michael: You don't get one because you're not coming. Kyle: But my father's in there. Max: Kyle. Its too dangerous. Kyle: Don't give me that aliens only crap. Max: Kyle look, you are the only one other than us who knows what's going on. If something Goes wrong. We could get trapped, or worse, we need someone on the outside. Kyle: Alright what do I do. Michael: If we're not back by dawn, call Hanson. Kyle: What do I tell him? Michael: Tell him your father and three aliens got kidnapped by Meta-chem. Max: At that point it won't matter what you tell him. Just get help. Kyle: All right just get him and get out. Michael: ok Maxwell, you're going to pick up Isabel and bring her to the plant. I want you There for the 3am shift change. (Isabel leaves and Jesse sees her go and follows her) When nobody's around I'll bypass the system and let you both in undetected. You and Isabel Will have to split up to cover as much ground as possible. The place is big and Valenti could Be anywhere. I'll watch you from the security centre. I'll be your eyes and ears. And we will Find Valenti. Max opens a door and shines a light on Valenti. Jim: Who is that? Max: It's me Max. Jim: You wanna get that light out of my eyes? Max: Alright you ok? Jim: Yeah. I could use the bathroom. Max: Did they hurt you? Jim: No, the woman just threw me in here and left. Max: Michael. I've got him, he's ok. Michael: Good now get outta there. Max: Let's go. Michael: Isabel, Max has Valenti get back up here. Isabel: Copy that. Max and Jim take off down the corridor. But the goons run up behind them and shoot Jim. Max: No! (he throws them against the wall with his powers) Can you move? Jim: I don't. Max: Its ok. It's ok. (he puts his hand over Jim's wound) Valenti look at me. Look at me. Jim: Max. Thank you. (Max lifts Valenti off the floor and they have guns aimed at their heads) Woman: So you're the healer. You have no idea how long we've been looking for you. Upstairs. Isabel: Where are they? Michael: Last time I saw them they were in corridor three. Let's go. In another corridor going into a secured room. Max: What do you want from us. Woman: Not us, just you. The healer. Michael and Isabel run and go to the first secured room. Isabel: What the hell is in here? Michael: I don't know. They open the curtain but there is no one there. Michael: Let's go. Back at the dorm. After a night of drinking Liz is relaxing in her room. Someone knocks On the door. Liz: Ilene. Ilene. Did you lock yourself out again? Maria is at the door. Maria: Guess who. Liz: Oh my gosh, Maria. Hi. What are you doing here? Maria: Do I smell alcohol? Liz: Why do I smell? I should get some gum. Maria: What do you drink now? Liz: No. I, a little bit. Maria: I leave you for five minutes Liz: You know what they have this place I have got to show you. In the attic. Liz: You know, I was really scared to come here and I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. But just in the past few days it like the first time in years that I felt like a normal teenager. Maria: Yeah it is nice to get away from the alien chaos isn't it. Gosh I don't know if I can go Back yet. Liz: Then why don't you just stay here. Maria: What? Liz: Yeah come on Ilene and I, we have got this whole place figured out. We can get you anything You need. And plus spring break is, it's comin up. No one's gonna be around. Back at Meta-chem. Woman: Bring him in. (They bring in an old man on a whole bunch of monitors) Heal him. Max: Who is he? Woman: My husband. Clayton Wheeler. He owns all of this. Jim: So you're what a few days away from inheriting his millions. Woman: I don't care about that. Jim: Right. You just happened to fall in love with a man who is twice your age. Who just Happens to be a multi-millionaire. Mrs. Wheeler: Quiet! You don't know anything about me. Have you ever been married Mr. Valenti? Jim: Once. Didn't stick. Mrs. Wheeler: Well I've been married for twenty-two years. That is a long time to be with Someone. Things change. Feelings change. Motives change. He is my husband now and I am Not going to lose him. Max: What's wrong with him. Mrs. Wheeler: He's old. Unfortunately all the money in the world can't stop the aging process. Believe me we tried. Everything. And then we heard a story about a girl in Roswell who was Shot with no ill effects. Max: Liz. That's why you have her dress. Mrs. Wheeler: Oh we analyzed that thing for two years the best scientist's in the world couldn't Figure that out. And then we got another little tip. Several children with terminal cancer mysteriously Healed. Max: In Phoenix. A serveillance picture of Michael from the hospital. You thought he was the Healer? Mrs. Wheeler: Well until he couldn't heal his friend. Then we knew we had the wrong guy. Max: You killed Monk as a test? Mrs. Wheeler: My husband is dying. We're desperate. Max: That's no excuse to kill someone in cold blood. Mrs. Wheeler: What's done is done. Now heal him. Max; It doesn't work like that. I can't save someone from a natural death. Mrs. Wheeler: I think you can. And you will. (she snaps her fingers and they point the guns At them again) Max moves to Clayton and puts his hand on him. A bright light starts getting larger and larger. Max starts to age. Back in the corridor. Isabel: Where are they. Michael: This place is huge they could be anywhere. Max is aging rapidly and things start breaking. Jim: Max, Max stop! (One of the goons hits him in the back of the head with his gun) Suddenly they break apart and max collapses on the floor while Clayton leaves. Max falls To the floor and there is an explosion and as Jim tries to reach for him he turns to ashes. Jim: Max. Max! Back in the dorm. Liz wakes up from sleeping. Maria: What happened? Liz: Max is dead.	Plan: A: Michael; Q: Who uncovers a conspiracy at Metachem? A: a guard; Q: Who is killed at Metachem? A: the investigation; Q: What takes an alien turn? A: Liz; Q: Who has entered boarding school in Vermont? A: a new life; Q: What is Liz trying to start in Vermont? A: Maria; Q: Who goes to visit Liz in Vermont? A: New York; Q: Where is Maria disillusioned with? Summary: Michael uncovers a conspiracy at Metachem, when a guard is killed on duty. Michael enlists the aid of Max and Isabel when the investigation takes an alien turn. Meanwhile, Liz has entered boarding school in Vermont and tries to start a new life, and Maria, disillusioned by New York, goes to visit Liz in Vermont.
THE SEA DEVILS BY: MALCOLM HULKE 5:45pm - 6:10pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: EXT. "HMS RECLAIM". MAIN DECK (The surface of the water is disturbed by the rising diving bell.) NAVAL OFFICER: ... ! (The bell is pulled clear of the water and into the air. Further orders are shouted and the crane pulls the bell over the deck where it is pulled down by several ratings. JO looks to HART who walks towards the bell and ducks under. He emerges after a moment and walks solemnly towards her. She reads the look in his face and goes towards the bell herself. Ducking under, she carefully stands up into the interior of the bell.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. DIVING BELL (JO sees that it is totally empty.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: EXT. "HMS RECLAIM". MAIN DECK (She comes out of the bell and stares in shock at CAPTAIN HART.) JO: He's gone! [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (The interior of the SEA DEVIL'S base is a cold, dark metallic structure. The sound of lapping water echoes through the cavernous chambers. Several SEA DEVILS walk into the main chamber where an alien looking up-right, man sized pod is being lowered into the ground. The CHIEF SEA DEVIL watches. He looks identical to his fellow creatures except that he wears a cloak of the net material across his shoulders in addition the usual robe. He waves a hand in command and one of the SEA DEVILS removes a plug from the front of the pod. It is connected to cables that go into the pod through a hole and within this can be seen the DOCTOR. He opens his eyes and looks out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. NAVAL BASE. CAPTAIN HART'S OFFICE (JANE BLYTHE opens the door to CAPTAIN HART'S office to admit a man dressed in a camel hair overcoat, bowler hat and carrying an umbrella and briefcase. He is middle aged and has a self-assured and confident public school demeanour that crosses the path into being patronising. He takes off his bowler and smiles at JANE.) WALKER: Good morning, my dear! Captain Hart here? 3rd OFFICER JANE BLYTHE: No sir, he's at sea. WALKER: Well, I suppose that's the right place for a sailor, eh? What's your name? 3rd OFFICER JANE BLYTHE: Blythe, sir. WALKER: Walker - Parliamentary Private Secretary. (He promptly hands her the bowler hat and umbrella and steps into the office.) WALKER: Any chance of any breakfast? 3rd OFFICER JANE BLYTHE: I'll call the steward, sir. WALKER: Excellent! (JANE retains her temper.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. NAVAL BASE. RADIO ROOM (WALKER steps into the radio room where BOWMAN is at his post.) WALKER: And, er, who are you? (BOWMAN looks up in puzzlement.) LDG. TELEGRAPHIST BOWMAN: Leading...Telegraphist Bowman, sir. WALKER: Jolly good! (WALKER casts the briefest of glances over the radio set and then turns to JANE who has followed him in.) WALKER: Er, nothing very elaborate, my dear. Just, erm...eggs, bacon, toast, coffee...oh, and a little rough-cut marmalade, if they've got it. Er, how long is he likely to be - Captain Hart, I mean? 3rd OFFICER JANE BLYTHE: I don't know, sir. WALKER: Oh, well now, I tell you what - you get him on your jolly old wireless and ask him to come over here at the double, will you? (He takes off his overcoat, dumps it into JANE'S already full hands and goes back into HART'S office. Struggling with his items, she passes the order onto BOWMAN with only the slightest hint of annoyance and irony in her voice.) 3rd OFFICER JANE BLYTHE: Send a signal to Captain Hart. Tell him that a Mister Walker is here to see him. (WALKER pops his head round the door and smiles as he gives his full title.) WALKER: Parliamentary Private Secretary. LDG. TELEGRAPHIST BOWMAN: Er, aye sye, sir. [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. NAVAL BASE. CAPTAIN HART'S OFFICE (WALKER returns to HART'S office and sits at his desk. He starts to look through the CAPTAIN'S papers. JANE walks back through.) 3rd OFFICER JANE BLYTHE: I'll call the steward. WALKER: Ah, and get me the morning papers, will you? There's a good girl. 3rd OFFICER JANE BLYTHE: If I may ask, sir, what is the purpose of your visit? (WALKER gives her a condescending smile.) WALKER: Why, all those ships sinking. I've come down to clear it up for you! The Minister's put me in full charge. [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (The DOCTOR has been taken out of the travel pod. Surrounded by SEA DEVILS, he stands in his blue navy anorak as he converses with the CHIEF SEA DEVIL. The reptile speaks in a fluttering, whispering voice.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: This is our planet. My people ruled the Earth when man was only an ape. DOCTOR: Your people went into hibernation and abandoned Earth to its fate. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: Our astronomers predicted that a great catastrophe would end all life on the face of the Earth. DOCTOR: Yes, but the catastrophe that you predicted never happened. And the apes that you left behind on the surface to die became man. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: You know our history? DOCTOR: Yes...yes, I've encountered your people before. That is why I want to prevent a conflict that can only end in your destruction. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: We shall destroy man and reclaim the planet. Already we have begun to sink his ships. DOCTOR: Yes, and already more ships are being sent to hunt you down. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: The submarine? We have captured it. DOCTOR: You may win a few victories to begin with but eventually you're bound to lose. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: There are many thousands of our people in hibernation in this base. We have other colonies hidden all round the world. We shall be the victors in the war against mankind. (The DOCTOR shakes his head.) DOCTOR: But there's no need for a war. Why can't you share the planet? CHIEF SEA DEVIL: That would be impossible. DOCTOR: Well, the depths of the sea and those areas on Earth where man cannot live can be yours. (The CHIEF SEA DEVIL considers in silence for a moment and then turns to the DOCTOR.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: And man would agree to that? DOCTOR: There's a chance. Wouldn't it be better to try for a peace, than to launch yourself into a war that you cannot possibly win? CHIEF SEA DEVIL: I will consider what you have said. DOCTOR: Let me return to the humans and I will endeavor to make a peace for you. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: Perhaps it would be possible. (Suddenly...) MASTER: (Shouts.) No! (The MASTER stands in the entrance to the chamber, his arrival un-noticed. He stares impassively at the CHIEF SEA DEVIL.) MASTER: (Shouts.) The Doctor is your deadly enemy! He must be destroyed! [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. NAVAL BASE. CAPTAIN HART'S OFFICE (CAPTAIN HART and JO have returned to the naval base but WALKER has not vacated the CAPTAIN'S desk. He sits there stirring a cup of tea with his breakfast as he argues the case for his actions.) WALKER: Captain Hart, there's only one way to deal with this problem. You have to attack. (He sips his tea and grimaces.) WALKER: (To JO.) Mmm, oh, pass me the sugar, my dear, will you? (JO reaches for a sugar bowl that was well within reach of the P.P.S anyway and passes it to him.) CAPTAIN HART: My submarine is missing in that area. There's a chance that some of the crew may still be alive. (WALKER starts to put spoonful after spoonful of sugar into his tea.) JO: And what about the Doctor? He may still be alive down there too! CAPTAIN HART: Yes. WALKER: Well, this is war, my dear, and war calls for sacrifice. (To BLYTHE.) Any chance of any more toast, my dear? 3rd OFFICER JANE BLYTHE: Yes sir. (With a look of thunder, she takes the toast rack from WALKER and leaves the room.) WALKER: Ah, I've had a look at that UNIT file about the creatures that your friend, the Doctor, encountered in those caves. And do you know what happened? Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart blew the whole lot up. (He carries on with his breakfast.) JO: Maybe, but I bet he didn't do it by risking the lives of his own men. WALKER: Well, that's as maybe, but our line is quite clear - immediate retaliation with everything that we've got. CAPTAIN HART: I'm sorry, sir. I don't agree. WALKER: Your opinion is quite immaterial, Captain Hart. The order's already been given - ships are converging on this area from ports all over England. (HART looks horrified and loses his respectful demeanour with WALKER.) CAPTAIN HART: You're throwing away the lives of the men in that submarine, sir! JO: And you've probably killed the Doctor! Look, do you realise that that's murder?! (WALKER has a mouthful of food as he continues to be absorbed in his breakfast.) WALKER: Murder? (He licks his fingers.) WALKER: War always is, my dear. Where on Earth's that girl with my toast? [SCENE_BREAK] 10: EXT. SEA (A line of ships plough through the water.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: EXT. COMMAND SHIP (A bespectacled REAR ADMIRAL stands on the upper deck of the command ship. A rating with a clipboard steps up and salutes. He prepares to take a note of dictation.) REAR ADMIRAL: Make this to Ministry of Defence - Navy. Special Task Force will be in position at 13.50. That's all, thank you. (The rating salutes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER DOCTOR: I beg you not to listen to this man! He's the personification of evil! CHIEF SEA DEVIL: The Master is our friend. DOCTOR: He wants only to provoke a war. MASTER: I do not! (To the CHIEF SEA DEVIL.) I came here to help you revive your people. DOCTOR: Why should you need his help? CHIEF SEA DEVIL: Our hibernation unit is faulty. MASTER: And I can now repair it for you. DOCTOR: But why revive your people only to have them killed? Let me try and negotiate that peace for you. MASTER: As you did before, Doctor? (The MASTER points at the DOCTOR.) MASTER: The last time this man encountered your race, he tricked them. The humans destroyed them all. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: (To the DOCTOR.) Is that true? DOCTOR: (Sadly.) Yes...I tried to make peace but I failed. MASTER: You see? He admits it. Man is weak! Your conquest will be easy. DOCTOR: Believe me, man is not weak! He's only too proficient at devising weapons of annihilation...and using them! (The CHIEF SEA DEVIL looks from the MASTER to the DOCTOR.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: He says man is weak. He says man is strong. MASTER: He's lying! He's trying to frighten you! (The CHIEF SEA DEVIL walks round the back of the DOCTOR and places a hand on the back of his head, as if trying to feel his thoughts.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: No. I do not think he lies. Perhaps it would be better to make peace. (With a look of contempt at the MASTER, the DOCTOR turns and faces the CHIEF SEA DEVIL with a smile.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: I shall have consider what you have said. MASTER: Don't trust him! (The DOCTOR raises up a hand and the CHIEF SEA DEVIL places his own against his new ally's palm.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: EXT. SEA (The task force carries on.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. NAVAL SHIP (Within one ship, a torpedo is pushed by the machinery along a rack and into the firing tube.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: EXT. NAVAL SHIP (On deck, the guns rise into position.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. NAVAL SHIP (Another torpedo is pushed into position. Ratings in their heat resistant battle gear sit at their stations.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: EXT. NAVAL SHIP (The guns stand poised.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: EXT. COMMAND SHIP (The REAR ADMIRAL turns to another officer on the upper deck.) REAR ADMIRAL: Inform Ministry of Defence - Task Force now in position and ready to attack. OFFICER: (Salutes.) Aye aye, sir. [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. NAVAL BASE. RADIO ROOM LDG. TELEGRAPHIST BOWMAN: (Into radio.) Roger Task Force, over and out. (BOWMAN passes the message to HART who reads it.) WALKER: What is it? CAPTAIN HART: The Task Force is in position, sir. WALKER: (Pleased.) Excellent! "Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war", mm? (HART sighs.) WALKER: Well, tell 'em to carry out their orders. The attack will go ahead now. (JO rushes to HART.) JO: No! Look, please!? You've got to do something! Can't you stop him? CAPTAIN HART: (To WALKER.) I wish you'd reconsider, sir. (WALKER'S manner darkens...) WALKER: Captain Hart, I have full authority. Now, are you going to carry out my order or must I replace you with someone who will? (HART is stood to attention. JO looks at him is desperation, but...) CAPTAIN HART: I'm...sorry, Jo. (He turns to BOWMAN.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: EXT. SEA (The task force waits in line.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: EXT. COMMAND SHIP REAR ADMIRAL: Commence attack. [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. NAVAL SHIP. BRIDGE (Aboard one ship, the wheel is spun round...) [SCENE_BREAK] 23: EXT. SEA (...and the vessel starts to turn in the water.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. NAVAL SHIP OFFICER: (Into radio.) Urgent attack - ... (A trigger is pressed...) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: EXT. SEA (...and the guns start to fire their payload. The charges start to explode under the water. Another barrage is fired.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (Those within the SEA DEVIL'S base have no idea of the impending onslaught...) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: You will negotiate a truce between my people and the humans. DOCTOR: If you'll release the submarine and its crew, yes - as a gesture of good faith. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: Very well. (A furious MASTER watches from the sidelines...) MASTER: (Shouts.) You are throwing away the control of this planet! The humans will never make peace with you! (Without warning, the base is suddenly shaken by a massive explosion as the first of the charges hit. The MASTER looks up in panic as he and the others are thrown to the ground.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: EXT. SEA (The water is thrown high into the air by the force of another explosion.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. NAVAL SHIP (Within one of the ships, the trigger is pressed again...) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: EXT. SEA (...and the guns fire again and again, breaking up the surface once more.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (Once again, the inhabitants of the base are knocked off their feet. The MASTER yells up from where he lies on the shaking floor.) MASTER: (Shouts.) Is this the promised peace?! Can't you see that the humans are determined to wipe you out?! (He struggles up to a standing position. The CHIEF SEA DEVIL is furious...) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: You are right! These apes cannot be trusted! (He looks at the DOCTOR.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: Take him away...and kill him! (The DOCTOR is grabbed by two SEA DEVILS. They start to lead him from the chamber. The DOCTOR pauses to stare at a smiling MASTER before he is led away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: EXT. SEA (The guns continue to fire round after round into the boiling waters.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: EXT. COMMAND SHIP (The REAR ADMIRAL watches the attack through his binoculars as his ship tears through the waters.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. PASSAGE (The two SEA DEVILS escort the DOCTOR down a passage which would seem to be hewn out of rock on the sea bed. As they are shaken by the force of another hit, the DOCTOR uses the opportunity to shake himself free of his captors and make a run for it. Before they can react, another hit causes the rock roof to fall in on top of the two SEA DEVILS. The DOCTOR presses himself against a wall for safety and then looks down at the bodies of the SEA DEVILS. As the shaking dies down, he goes over to the body of one of them, removes some of the rubble and takes its gun.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (The base continues to rock with the attack.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: Destroy the ships! MASTER: No! Send your people down to the lower level. They'll be safe there. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: We must retaliate. MASTER: Not yet. If I'm to revive your people, I need time. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: What would you have us do? MASTER: Convince the humans that their attack has been a success. (There is another hit. The MASTER looks up in concern as the room shakes violently.) [SCENE_BREAK] 35: EXT. SEA (Once more, the waters explode.) [SCENE_BREAK] 36: EXT. COMMAND SHIP (On the upper deck of the command ship, an officer looks through his binoculars. He turns to the REAR ADMIRAL...) OFFICER: Sir? (...who looks through his own set of binoculars. He sees two SEA DEVILS floating on the surface of the water.) [SCENE_BREAK] 37: INT. NAVAL BASE. RADIO ROOM LDG. TELEGRAPHIST BOWMAN: (Into radio.) Roger Task Force. (He takes his headphones off and, with piece of paper, goes into HART'S office.) [SCENE_BREAK] 38: INT. NAVAL BASE. CAPTAIN HART'S OFFICE (WALKER once more sits at HART'S desk but BOWMAN reports direct to his CAPTAIN.) LDG. TELEGRAPHIST BOWMAN: Sir? Signal from Task Force - they report bodies and debris coming to the surface. (JO runs forward fearfully.) JO: Bodies? Did they say...? LDG. TELEGRAPHIST BOWMAN: No...Miss, just the lizard things. CAPTAIN HART: (To WALKER.) We can call off the attack now, sir. WALKER: Well, I'm not sure. (JO leans over the desk into WALKER'S face.) JO: (Accusingly.) Look, you've probably killed the Doctor and all those sailors. Aren't you satisfied? (HART steps in and gently pulls her back.) CAPTAIN HART: There is a chance there might be some survivors. Would you want it said that you unnecessarily endangered the lives of naval personnel, sir? (WALKER considers and then replies in a surly manner.) WALKER: All right. Have it your own way. (Relieved, HART steps into the radio room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 39: INT. NAVAL BASE. RADIO ROOM CAPTAIN HART: (To BOWMAN.) Base to Task Force - abandon attack. LDG. TELEGRAPHIST BOWMAN: Aye aye, sir. (Smiling, BOWMAN turns to his radio.) [SCENE_BREAK] 40: EXT. COMMAND SHIP REAR ADMIRAL: Cease fire. [SCENE_BREAK] 41: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (A panel rises on the wall of the SEA DEVIL'S base to reveal a radar-type screen. The Task Force ships appear as pulsing green oblong shapes. The MASTER turns in satisfaction to the CHIEF SEA DEVIL.) MASTER: You see? My plan has worked. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: We could still destroy the ships before they are out of range. MASTER: No, let them go. Let them think that they have won. (In a similar manner to the DOCTOR'S gesture to him before, the CHIEF SEA DEVIL raises his hand and the MASTER places his gloved palm against it in a show of trust.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: You will now revive the rest of my people. MASTER: Yes, but first the trigger mechanism on your reactivation unit is faulty. I need electronic equipment to build a new one. CHIEF SEA DEVIL: And where will you obtain this? MASTER: The humans will provide it. We shall attack their base! [SCENE_BREAK] 42: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. HALLWAY (Weapon in hand, the DOCTOR enters a small darkened chamber in the base. Some of the naval equipment from the submarine lies on the floor. He walks down a short flight of steps, past the body of an unconscious SEA DEVIL.) [SCENE_BREAK] 43: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. CELL (Leading off from this hallway is a small box-like cell within which RIDGEWAY and MITCHELL are held. The LT. COMMANDER is trying to force the metal door with a knife.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: Optimistic, number one, but I admire your pluck. (MITCHELL grunts with the effort.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: Give it to me. LT. COMMANDER MITCHELL: Would you like to try, sir? (MITCHELL passes him the knife and RIDGEWAY starts to try to prise the panel. After a moment, the DOCTOR'S face appears at a porthole-like window in the cell door.) DOCTOR: Good afternoon, gentlemen. Erm, look, er, would you mind keeping back for a moment? Er, that is if you want to get out? (The amazed sailors look at each other...) DOCTOR: Thank you! (...and then step back.) [SCENE_BREAK] 44: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. HALLWAY (The DOCTOR also steps back, raises the SEA DEVIL weapon and fires. A flame shoots round the edge of the door...) [SCENE_BREAK] 45: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. CELL (...the lower half of which shoots open. RIDGEWAY steps out...) [SCENE_BREAK] 46: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. HALLWAY (...followed by MITCHELL.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: (To the DOCTOR.) Who the blazes are you? DOCTOR: Look, I've no time to explain now. Where are the rest of your men? COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: Still in the submarine? DOCTOR: Is the submarine still operational? COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: Should be. LT. COMMANDER MITCHELL: They've ripped out the communicators and the escape gear, as you can see. (He gestures to the equipment on the floor.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: But left the engines alone. LT. COMMANDER MITCHELL: Yes. DOCTOR: Where's the sub now? COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: In a kind of undersea harbour. DOCTOR: Can you find the way? COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: I think so, yes. DOCTOR: Right, you'd better lead on. (He holds up the SEA DEVIL weapon.) DOCTOR: Here, take this. (RIDGEWAY looks at it in puzzlement.) DOCTOR: It's a gun. Now come on, let's hurry. (RIDGEWAY takes the gun and he leads the way out of the hallway.) [SCENE_BREAK] 47: INT. SUBMARINE CONTROL ROOM (A SEA DEVIL paces the submarine control room as C.P.O. SUMMERS, LDG. SEAMAN LOVELL and A/B GIRTON play cards to pass the time. A small pile of cash lies on the table.) C.P.O. SUMMERS: What about you, Chris? LDG. SEAMAN LOVELL: I'll stick. C.P.O. SUMMERS: You? A/B GIRTON: Twist. (SUMMERS hands him a card.) A/B GIRTON: I'll stick. C.P.O. SUMMERS: Right. (SUMMERS turns a card.) C.P.O. SUMMERS: Ha! Pay twenties. A/B GIRTON: Eighteen, LDG. SEAMAN LOVELL: Nineteen. Well, that's it then. You've cleared me right out. C.P.O. SUMMERS: (To GIRTON.) What about you? Do you want to go on? A/B GIRTON: Not bothered. (They suddenly hear a pattern of knocking against the hull - Morse code. The SEA DEVIL also listens.) LDG. SEAMAN LOVELL: (Whispers.) What's that? C.P.O. SUMMERS: (Aloud, hastily.) Erm...loose rigging. (The SEA DEVIL moves off, seemingly satisfied with this explanation. SUMMERS start to write quickly on a pad.) LDG. SEAMAN LOVELL: Rigging? C.P.O. SUMMERS: Yeah, what about a game of consequences? Yeah, I'll start. (SUMMERS takes down the continuing message. When it has finished, he shows the paper to GIRTON.) C.P.O. SUMMERS: Right, it's your turn. Er, you've got to do what it says there. LDG. SEAMAN LOVELL: (Puzzled.) That's not how you play consequences. C.P.O. SUMMERS: (Firmly.) It's the way we play! LDG. SEAMAN LOVELL: Oh... (GIRTON suddenly clutches his stomach and cries out in pain. His back to the SEA DEVIL, SUMMERS waves him on to turn up the act and for LOVELL to join in.) LDG. SEAMAN LOVELL: What's the matter with him? C.P.O. SUMMERS: He's having a fit! (The two men "help" GIRTON as the SEA DEVIL steps over.) C.P.O. SUMMERS: Here! Can't you see? He's not well! (The SEA DEVIL bends over the doubled-up man to investigate and SUMMERS and LOVELL suddenly jump the reptile. It easily shakes them off and clubs GIRTON to the floor but the diversion has enabled RIDGEWAY to climb down the ladder into the control room unseen. The SEA DEVIL turns as RIDGEWAY raises his weapon. The DOCTOR is behind him on the ladder and sees this.) DOCTOR: No, no! Don't kill him! (But RIDGEWAY fires. The SEA DEVIL clutches its chest and falls.) DOCTOR: (Angrily.) There's no need to have done that! (RIDGEWAY ignores him and the DOCTOR goes to retrieve the fallen reptile's weapon.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: Any more of 'em, Summers? C.P.O. SUMMERS: Yeah, there's some more on guard up top, sir. COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: We've dealt with them already. Right - action stations! We're getting under way. LT. COMMANDER MITCHELL: Aye aye, sir. (The men rush into action.) [SCENE_BREAK] 48: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. HALLWAY (The unconscious SEA DEVIL in the hallway comes to. It rises to its feet and almost immediately...) [SCENE_BREAK] 49: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. CELL (...sees the empty cell.) [SCENE_BREAK] 50: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. HALLWAY (It presses a wall alarm and runs off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 51: EXT. UNDERWATER CAVE (The retaken submarine reverses out of an underwater cave.) [SCENE_BREAK] 52: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (Alerted by the alarm, the MASTER runs into the main chamber.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: The humans have escaped! MASTER: The submarine! They'll try to recapture it! CHIEF SEA DEVIL: Activate the force field! (A SEA DEVIL raises its hand in salute and moves off to obey.) [SCENE_BREAK] 53: EXT. UNDERWATER CAVE (As the submarine starts to come out of the cave, a flickering force-field suddenly surrounds the vessel.) [SCENE_BREAK] 54: INT. SUBMARINE CONTROL ROOM (LOVELL and GIRTON sit at a control bank. MITCHELL spots something and runs over to check.) LT. COMMANDER MITCHELL: Sir, we've stopped moving. (RIDGEWAY comes over to check himself.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: Increase revolutions. [SCENE_BREAK] 55: EXT. UNDERWATER CAVE (The propeller on the submarine starts to turn round faster.) [SCENE_BREAK] 56: INT. SUBMARINE CONTROL ROOM LT. COMMANDER MITCHELL: Maximum revs, sir. DOCTOR: They're holding us back with some kind of force field. [SCENE_BREAK] 57: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (The monitor screen which previously showed the radar view of the Task Force now shows an image of the submarine in the cave. The MASTER watches anxiously and turns to the CHIEF SEA DEVIL.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: They cannot escape us now. [SCENE_BREAK] 58: INT. SUBMARINE CONTROL ROOM (RIDGEWAY paces the control room in frustration.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: There must be something we can do? DOCTOR: Well, you could try firing your torpedo's at the cave wall and blasting yourselves free. LT. COMMANDER MITCHELL: (Horrified.) We're still halfway in the cave, sir! We could blow ourselves up! DOCTOR: That's the risk you'll have to take. (RIDGEWAY considers and then pulls down a radio hand set.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: (Into tannoy.) For'ard ends, this is the Captain, Load all bow tubes. Open one and two bow caps. [SCENE_BREAK] 59: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (The MASTER and the SEA DEVILS continue to watch.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: Increase the force field. [SCENE_BREAK] 60: INT. SUBMARINE CONTROL ROOM (RIDGEWAY hears a change in tone in the throbbing from the engines.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: The engine - we're losing power. DOCTOR: Well, hurry up and fire those torpedoes. Or we'll be drawn back into the cave. RATING: (OOV: Over tannoy.) All bow heads open. Ready to fire, sir. (RIDGEWAY stares at the DOCTOR.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) Well, come on, man! You've got to risk it! (MITCHELL looks nervously at his COMMANDER as he considers. Finally, he reaches his decision.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: (Into tannoy.) Stand by bow salvo. RATING: (OOV: Over tannoy.) Standing by, sir. COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: (Into tannoy.) Fire one. [SCENE_BREAK] 61: EXT. UNDERWATER CAVE (A torpedo shoots out of its tube.) [SCENE_BREAK] 62: INT. SUBMARINE CONTROL ROOM COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: (Into tannoy.) Fire two. [SCENE_BREAK] 63: EXT. UNDERWATER CAVE (A second torpedo fires.) [SCENE_BREAK] 64: INT. SUBMARINE CONTROL ROOM (The men in the submarine are thrown about as the torpedoes hit the cave wall.) [SCENE_BREAK] 65: EXT. UNDERWATER CAVE (The submarine shoots out of the cave and the range of the force field.) [SCENE_BREAK] 66: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER CHIEF SEA DEVIL: Increase the force field! They must not escape! MASTER: It's no use. You're already too late. [SCENE_BREAK] 67: INT. SUBMARINE CONTROL ROOM (C.P.O. SUMMERS secures a hatch and goes up to report to RIDGEWAY.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: Any damage, for'ard chief? C.P.O. SUMMERS: No damage to tell, sir. COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: Thank you. (SUMMERS moves off.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: All right, stand by to surface, number one. LT. COMMANDER MITCHELL: Aye aye, sir. (He moves to comply as RIDGEWAY takes a drink from a cup with a smile on his face.) COMMANDER RIDGEWAY: We're going home. [SCENE_BREAK] 68: EXT. SEA (The huge bulk of the submarine surfaces into daylight.) [SCENE_BREAK] 69: INT. SEA DEVIL'S BASE. MAIN CHAMBER (The monitor is now being used as a radar screen again. The submarine shows up as a flashing green oblong.) CHIEF SEA DEVIL: They can tell the humans how to find our base. MASTER: It's of no importance. Before they can attack us...we shall attack them! [SCENE_BREAK] 70: INT. NAVAL BASE. CAPTAIN HART'S OFFICE (CAPTAIN HART leads JO into his office from the radio room. The DOCTOR is stood there waiting for them.) JO: Doctor! (She rushes to him and hugs him.) JO: I thought you were dead! DOCTOR: Dead? No, I don't think so. JO: When I saw that thing come up empty, I thought I'd never see you again. (WALKER and BLYTHE walk in from the corridor.) WALKER: Well, well, well, so the heroes have returned. (The DOCTOR ignores him. JO helps him out of his anorak.) DOCTOR: Captain Hart, what idiot ordered an all out attack just as I was on the verge of finding a peaceful solution? (HART coughs in embarrassment.) JO: But it wasn't Captain Hart's fault. It was this ... from the... CAPTAIN HART: (Interrupts.) I'm terribly sorry - this is Mr. Walker. He's the parliamentary private secretary in charge of this business. (Behind WALKER'S back, JANE rolls her eyes. WALKER is unfazed and takes his place at HART'S desk.) WALKER: I'm the idiot you've just been talking about! (To HART.) Absolutely splendid lunch, old man. (A quietly angry DOCTOR walks forward.) DOCTOR: You ordered the attack? WALKER: I did. DOCTOR: Did you give any thought at all, sir, as to what you were doing? WALKER: Our duty is to destroy the Queen's enemies. Don't you know your national anthem? "Confound their politics, frustrate their knavish tricks." DOCTOR: That, sir, is an extremely insular point of view! At the precise moment of the attack, I was negotiating a peace. WALKER: Peace?! Huh! What, when they've been attacking our shipping and heaven alone knows what? I think you've got it all wrong, old man. "Seek and destroy" (To HART.) That's what you chaps say, isn't it? (The DOCTOR leans over the desk, barely controlling his temper.) DOCTOR: But the point, Mr. Parliamentary Private Secretary, is that you have not destroyed! You have just made them angry - very, very angry! [SCENE_BREAK] 71: EXT. NAVAL BASE (An armed rating patrols the shoreline. Just off the beach, the SEA DEVILS start to rise from the water in large numbers. Back on the beach, one of them has snuck up behind the rating and pulls him to the ground. Others step onto the beach and make their way into the base, their weapons raised. They skulk in doorways and behind equipment as they advance, so far without opposition.) [SCENE_BREAK] 72: INT. NAVAL BASE. CAPTAIN HART'S OFFICE (WALKER rises from behind HART'S desk and crosses to the sea-chart.) WALKER: I'm going to get on to the Minister, and I'm going to ask him to seek approval for an immediate attack with nuclear weapons. DOCTOR: (Horrified.) Well that, sir, would be tantamount to murder. WALKER: Oh, come, come, Doctor. You speak as if these creatures were human. We're not going to hand over the world to a lot of lizards, you know. DOCTOR: You can share it with them, surely? WALKER: (Exasperated.) Oh come, really Doctor! DOCTOR: Look, let me make one final attempt to negotiate. WALKER: Well, you didn't get very far last time, did you? DOCTOR: (Quietly.) Just you think of it, sir - think of it. Wouldn't you like to be the man behind a peaceful settlement? "Walker, the peacemaker" they'd call you. Or would you prefer to be known as the man responsible for launching a full scale war?! WALKER: Look, you can actually communicate with these creatures? DOCTOR: Yes. WALKER: And you'd be willing to undertake the preliminary negotiations yourself? DOCTOR: Just leave it to me. JO: (Shocked.) Doctor, you're not thinking of going down there again? DOCTOR: Jo, it's the only way. JO: But, Doctor, it's far too dangerous! DOCTOR: Don't you understand, Jo? I've got to go down there of my own free will as a gesture of good faith. (To HART.) Captain Hart, is that diving vessel still alongside? CAPTAIN HART: Yes, but I must say that I agree with Miss Grant. DOCTOR: (To HART.) Then with your permission, Mr. Walker? (The DOCTOR, JO and HART leave the office.) [SCENE_BREAK] 73: EXT. NAVAL BASE (The three exit the main block and start to walk across the forecourt. The DOCTOR has retrieved his cloak.) CAPTAIN HART: Doctor, do you think you're doing the right thing? DOCTOR: I'm doing the only thing possible, Captain Hart, if we're to avoid a major conflict. CAPTAIN HART: Suppose they won't listen to you? (JO looks to one side and suddenly cries out...) JO: Doctor! (The DOCTOR spins round. A SEA DEVIL aims its gun at the three people.)	Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who is taken to the Sea Devils' underwater colony? A: the creatures; Q: Who does the Doctor try to make peace with? A: the base; Q: What does the navy attack when the Doctor tries to make peace with the Sea Devils? Summary: The Doctor is taken to the Sea Devils' underwater colony where he tries to make peace with the creatures, only for the navy to attack the base.
Blake: Does your son ever experience fainting spells? No. Blake: I thought you said your son never experienced fainting spells? That is not my son. [ "The Pink Panther" -style music plays ] Owen: Hey, Dori. You paged me? Dori: Yes, Dr. Maestro. Take a look at this X-ray. Owen: That's weird. Hey, kid, you're supposed to unwrap your candy before you eat it. I didn't eat it. I mean, I did. I just can't -- I can't talk about it. Owen: Sheesh. Catch all that? Dori: Yeah. He said, "I didn't eat it! I mean, I did. I just -- I can't talk about it." Owen: Yeah, that's it -- verbatim. Makes me wonder what he's hiding. Dori: Yeah. Not me. Lola: Ooh, chief, your walker could use some WD-40. Chief: Ha, are you kidding me? On my salary, I can't even afford WD-30. [ Laughs ] I'm joking, of course. I can afford it, technically. It's just that things have been a little tight, financially. Lola: Oh. Well, fix the walker. Richard: Uh, excuse me, Dr. Spratt? Lola: Yes? Richard: I never got a chance to properly thank you for the heart transplant eight years ago. Lola: Aww. You're welcome. Chief: Why, you're Richard Jarvis, aren't you? You're a billionaire! Richard: That's right. And every time my new heart beats, I think of you, Lola Adolph Spratt. Chief: Interestingly, I, too, am on Google. Richard: To show my appreciation, I'd like to give the hospital a brand-new, handcrafted baccarat table, edged in 24-karat gold. Lola: Wow, Richard. That is very generous, but I wonder if the hospital couldn't use something a little more lifesaving-ish? We're not impressed with your money. Chief: Why, I think it's a great idea, Richard. We'd play so much more baccarat if we had a nice table. Richard: Lola, you saved the life of a boy who went on to become the world's youngest billionaire. Don't you think you deserve to enjoy a rich man's game of chance? Chief: Yes! We'll take it! Richard: Great. I'll have the table flown in on my non-invisible jet. Lola: So it's visible. It's a visible jet? Richard: Yes, but it's still a jet. Beth: [ Speaks indistinctly ] Sy: Ta-da! Carrie, it's time for you to meet your helper animal. Daisy is trained to help you do things you can't do for yourself right now like crossing the street, opening the door, keeping you company. Carrie: I hope it's a dog. Sy: And I hope it's a snake! Because that's what it is! Say hi to Daisy! All right. Relax. Let go. She's very strong. Yep. There we go. Beth: Sy, is this your attempt to pinch pennies by not getting a real helper animal? Sy: Well, yes and no. Ultimately, yes. I just assume a snake can do everything a dog can do. Daisy, turn on the TV. Huh? Carrie: But you did that. Sy: Yeah, but what dog do you know that can turn on a TV? And don't say snoopy, 'cause that dog can do anything. [ Glass shatters ] Daisy, quick! Break a lamp! Owen: You listen to me! I got five different kids out there crapping wrapped candy, and nobody's talking. Spill it, you son of a bitch! I don't know how it got there. Leave me alone! Lacey: "Leave me alone." Sounds like my ex-husband. Owen: Detective Lacey Briggs, I haven't seen you since you divorced my old partner and dedicated your life to hitting on me, his best friend. Lacey: Well, let's just say I hate my ex-husband, and I want to have s*x with you. Owen: You better watch it. That candy just came out of some sick kid's bottom. Lacey: Please. This mouth has been in places your pretty little face wouldn't take a crap on with that nurse's dick. Dori: Hmm. Lacey: Since when do kids eat candy with the wrappers on them? Is that today's version of streaking? Owen: I don't know, because I can't get this punk to talk. Lacey: Too bad. Looks like someone's gonna have to go to bed a little early without any bedtime stories. No! Owen: Hey! Take it easy, cop! He's just a kid! Lacey: Well, I don't want to do it, but someone's gonna have to cancel the pizza party this weekend. Okay, okay! It's from yummy candy corporation, in the Latin quarter. Owen: Nice work. Lacey: Yeah. I'm good with kids. You should shoot one in me some time. Looks like our next stop -- Latin quarter. Owen: Briggs, I can't go with you. I'm not a cop anymore. Lacey: Well, then, we're just gonna have to make you one. You promise to back me up, no matter what, till death do us part? Owen: I do. Lacey: Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you recopped. Don't stop till you drop. [SCENE_BREAK] Lola: Richard, if you're trying to impress me -- Richard: Oh, please. Many baccarat tables have the name "Lola" encrusted on them in diamonds. Why? Is it doing anything for you? Lola: Richard, you're a teenage boy. Richard: Who has the heart of a 40-year-old man. And you put it in me. So, technically, I'm older than you. But, hey, I've got a thing for younger women. Lola: It's not working! Richard: I grew a mustache for you. Lola: [ Sighs ] Chief: Well, hello, there, Richard, or is it tom Selleck? I will literally do anything you want! I have no moral compass! Beth: Maybe we should just spend the money on a real helper animal, Sy. Sy: Oh, don't be silly. Daisy can do things that other animals can't. There you go. Look at that. Is that not cute as hell? They're BFFs! Carrie: [ Whimpers ] Sy: Let's go get a smoke. Beth: Okay. Carrie: No! Get away from me! Lola: Chief, you've got to stop flirting with Richard. Chief: I can't help it. I feel like I have a connection with his money. Lola: But money doesn't buy happiness! Chief: Shut up! [ Gasps ] Well... Richard: Lola, I just wanted to let you know that I've thought a lot about what you were saying, and, uh, the baccarat table has been returned, and that money is being used to create the Lola Spratt foundation to help the hungry. Lola: Oh, Richard, that's awfully generous. Chief: That's disgusting! Lola, don't you see what's happening? He's trying to -- Lola: Shut up! Lacey: He'll only be asleep for a few minutes, so we got to move. [ Gagging ] Lacey: What kind of candy company is this? Owen: I don't know. Could be a sole proprietorship. Might be an S corp for tax purposes. Lacey: They're stuffing those kids with hard candy. But why? Owen: I think I know. Lacey: Are you gonna tell me, or... Lola: I just want it the way that I want it. Go, go, go, go, go. Thank you. Chief: Is that a mink coat, you dick? Lola: Look, I know what you're thinking, and, yes, Richard bought me this mink. Chief: Whatever happened to "money can't buy happiness"? Lola: Well, Richard says that the figurehead of a high-profile charitable foundation has to look her best. Also, this feels like angels' pubic hair. Richard: For you, Lola Spratt, who is not fat. In fact, is very lean. Lola: Well, hickory dickory dock, I love my new necklace and my frock. [ Laughs ] Dicky and I like to mother goose it up sometimes. With all the foundation work, we sometimes just got to take a break and get stupid, you know? Richard: Ohh... Chief: [Bleep] the both of you. Lola: [ Gasps ] Richard: Oh, hey, don't let her get to you. Listen, since this is your inaugural fundraiser party, I've arranged a very special party favor that only the upper echelons know about. Come with me. Lola: Ooh! Oh, my God! Is that a -- Richard: Yes. A human piñata. It's the new rich rage. All the rich people do it. His belly is full of candy, but not for long. Lola: I don't know -- Richard: Oh, take a few whacks. I promise you, once you've flown first class, you'll never go back to paper-mache. Lola: Um... Lacey: Freeze, scumbag! Owen: And doctor I work with. Lacey: You're under arrest for using human beings as piñatas. Using poor kids as party favors? That's wrong. Richard: I'm confused. How is it wrong? Owen: Because it's a crime! Richard: Ah, I see. Lola: But it's a victimless crime. Lacey: No, ma'am. It's the most victim-full crime I've ever seen in my life! Richard: Oh, tomayto, tomahto. Owen: Tomayto, tomayto. Richard: I guess I'm confused. Owen: Okay. Let me try to break this down for you. You see that hitting other kids with sticks is wrong. Richard: Yeah, absolutely. Owen: So then -- Richard: Unless they're stuffed with candy. Owen: There's the confusion. Lola: Oh, okay. Yeah. I see what you're talking about, Owen. Oh, Richard, you're horrible. I'm so sorry. I just got seduced by the money. I mean, feel this coat. Lacey: Oh, wow! Richard: What's the point of replacing my heart if you're just gonna tear it up again, Lola? Lola: Richard, we gave you an organ that pumps blood, but you don't have a heart. Richard: Okay. I get it. I bid you all farewell, then. It was nice meeting you all. Lola: It was so nice to meet you. Owen: Take it easy. Lola: Safe travels. Beth: Come quick, everyone! Sy: Bad snake! Bad snake! Ooh! Lola: What?! Sy: Well, okay. So, they were hugging. Just hugging. Carrie: [ Muffled ] I'm in here! Lola: All right, all right. Step back. I got this one. All right. [ Grunting ] Come on, piñata! Let's go! [ Both grunting ] Sy: Aaaaaah! How was it inside the snake? Carrie: Disgusting. Sy: Yeah. Owen: Hey! Good work on that helper animal. Lola: Thanks. Owen: You know, we make a pretty good team. Lacey: Yeah? Owen: I'm almost sorry we can't be together. Lacey: Oh, we're together. I had us married during the recopping ceremony. Blake: Hey, was that dot-com billionaire Richard Jarvis I saw fly away in a non-invisible jet? Lacey: Oh. We should have arrested that guy. Owen: Yeah. Lacey: Endangerment, kidnapping. Owen: Conspiracy, fraud, attempted murder. Blake: And now we'll never know where he's been hiding that pink panther diamond. [ "The pink panther"-style music plays ] Sal: Attention, staff. Non-invisible cannot be used in place of forceps. That is all.	Plan: A: Owen; Q: Who works with a detective to get to the bottom of strange behavior by kids? A: Lola Spratt; Q: Who is the uninterested girl that the young billionaire is courting? Summary: Owen works with a detective to get to the bottom of strange behavior by kids. A young billionaire doggedly courts an uninterested Lola Spratt.
ACT ONE Scene One - KACL Close-up of a tape recorder sitting on Roz's console. On it, a man is speaking in a suave, suggestive radio voice. Widen to reveal Roz, Frasier, and Kenny listening to the tape. Frasier is skeptical, Kenny looks worried, and Roz is enjoying the hell out of it. Zach: [on tape] Janet from North Seattle, you're in bed with Dr. Zach. How can I make you feel better? Roz: Oh, yeah... [laughs] Janet: [on tape] My husband isn't the man he used to be, if you know what I mean. It's ruining our marriage. Zach: Are you sure it's just his fault? The signs on "Love Street" don't all point one way. Roz laughs again. Frasier stops the tape. Frasier: My God, this is the competition? Dr. Zach? Please! It's nothing but suggestive, smarmy sleaze. Roz: And he's great at it! Frasier: Roz! You know what, I tell you what, I give this guy four, five weeks, tops. Kenny: He's been on the air ten weeks. And frankly, we're getting spanked. Roz: Oh, he did a whole show on that yesterday. Frasier: Stop it! So, well... all right, he's the new flavor of the month. We've seen them come and go before. Dr. Mary, Professor Hugs, "On the Couch With Jeff and Lars." Kenny: I don't know, Doc, I think this guy's got staying power. Roz: He did a whole show on that Tuesday. Frasier: Cut it out, Roz! They go into Frasier's booth. Kenny: Hey, you know, maybe we should try some of those theme shows. Frasier: You know what, actually we have done theme shows. You know, I still get letters about the show we did on existential angst! Roz: No, we don't. Frasier: I get them at home. Kenny: You know, I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt to spice things up a little. You know, mention people's privates once in a while. Frasier: Oh, absolutely not. My show is fine the way it is. What it needs is a little more support from this station. How about some advertising? Kenny: Whoa, whoa, I don't want to just throw money at the problem. Roz: Thirty seconds, Frasier. Frasier: Right, right. Well, then how about airing some more promos on my lead-in? I mean, they get a sizable audience. Kenny: Yeah, they do. That's why we're moving them to evening drive time. Frasier: You mean I'm their lead-in now? Kenny: Yeah. They're not too happy about it. Roz: [on air] And we're back, the final hour of the Frasier Crane Show. Our next caller is Garth from Mercer Island. Frasier: Go ahead, Garth. I'm listening. Garth: [v.o.] See, this is kind of weird talking about to a psychiatrist, but it is something couples go through, and since I'm not using my real name, maybe it's okay. Frasier gives a "there, you see?" look, and Kenny flashes a thumbs-up. Garth: It's... our household budget. Kenny leaves in exasperation, as Frasier and Roz sag with disappointment. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Apartment Martin and Niles are sat eating breakfast. Daphne brings some coffee from the kitchen. Martin: Any more sausage, Daph? Daphne: I told you five links ago, you're cut off. Martin: Oh, come on! I'm being good, I took my cholesterol pill. Daphne: Yes, and that was the last one. You'd better call Dr. Stewart. Martin: Oh, he'll make me go through a whole physical just to get a refill. Hey, Niles, couldn't you write me a prescription? Niles: Oh, I can't, Dad, sorry. Martin: Why not? Niles: I don't have your chart, I'm not familiar with your medical history- Martin: Oh, come on, you see me every day, you know I'm fine. Just get your little pad out and write "more pills." Niles: What's the big deal? Why do you hate going to the doctor so much? Martin: Everybody does. Daphne: Not my brother Billy. He loved going to the doctors. From the time he was a little boy he'd start getting undressed in the car. And mind you, that was just for the dentist. As he got older, he volunteered for medical studies, supported himself getting all sorts of experimental drugs pumped into him. [goes into the kitchen] Martin: Think she's finished? Niles: Wait for it. Daphne: [comes back with a rack of danishes] One year, he grew little boobies! Frasier comes in. Niles: Hey, there. Martin: Hey, Fras. Frasier: Ah, good morning, all. [sees the paper] Dear God. Do you believe this? A full-page ad! Daphne: [reading] "Cuddle Up With Dr. Zach." Frasier: Yes. As if some air-brushed picture of a pretty boy has anything to do with effective therapy! Daphne: He is awfully cute. Niles: [looking] Yet not so much you hate him for it. Frasier: All right! You know, that's the reason I keep losing to him in the ratings. His station keeps flooding the marketplace with this useless tripe! It's my turn now. I'm going to call my agent. Let her earn her ten percent. Tell you what, once Bebe gets through with the station, my face will be splattered all over this city! [picks up the phone and takes the paper to the couch] Daphne: That Bebe is a monster, I don't know why you chose her. Niles: What possessed you? Yeah, right - she did. Frasier: Yes, well, Bebe's evil, but she's my evil. [takes a pen and starts marking the paper] Martin: Better bring a newborn baby in case she gets hungry. Niles: Frasier, all this over a picture in the paper, it seems a little petty. Frasier: It is not petty. It's about getting my due as a respected member of this community, and as a titan of Seattle radio psychiatry! [finishes marking the paper and laughs] Ha-ha! Yeah, you're not so pretty with a mustache and a hairy mole now, are ya? He proudly holds up the paper, showing off his embellishments. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Three - Bebe's Office Frasier is sitting in Bebe's waiting room, while her secretary shuffles around in the background. Bebe comes out. Bebe: Frasier Crane! I wish my eyes were sore so you could be a sight for them! Frasier: [kisses her cheeks] Thank you, Bebe, thank you for seeing me on such short notice. Bebe: Oh, there's no such thing as short notice for my favorite client! [to her secretary] Get Dr. Crane some coffee, please. The secretary nods, and Bebe follows Frasier into her office. Bebe: So, how may I serve you? Frasier: Well, uh, actually KACL is not doing all it should to promote my show. Bebe: Say no more. We'll put the fear of God into them. We'll hold their feet to the fire until their skin crackles! Frasier: Thank you, Bebe, I knew I could count on you. Bebe: Well, it won't be me personally. I think now is the time to unleash the newest member of Team Crane. Frasier: What do you mean? Bebe: Well, you've become too big to be served by the efforts of one adoring mortal. That's why I'm bringing on more firepower! Frasier: Oh, I like the sound of that! Bebe: I thought you might! Frasier, meet your new agent, Portia Sanders. Frasier turns around - and sees Bebe's secretary standing there. Where Bebe is dark, pushy, and brassy, Portia is blonde, wispy, and squeaky-voiced. Frasier cannot believe it. Portia: Pleased to meet you. Frasier: [shakes her hand] We've met. Several hundred times. [to Bebe] This is your assistant. Bebe: Not anymore. Now she's a full-fledged junior agent. Frasier: She brings me coffee. [takes the cup she's brought] Bebe: She'll bring you Juan Valdez on a donkey if that's what you want! Portia: I thought we should start by scheduling a meeting to get more acquainted. Frasier: We've met! Portia: You've only met Portia the assistant, the girl who's spent the last four years answering phones and getting your coffee just right. Well, Portia the agent plans to take that same attention to detail when representing you. Frasier: I'm sorry, but you've never gotten my coffee right. [hands it back] Portia: You never said anything before. Frasier: Yes, I have, every time. Bebe: Portia, will you give us a minute? Portia: Is this about me? Because I would love the opportunity to address any concerns. Bebe: Just go outside. Portia: I'll be outside if you need me. Frasier: Yes, yes, that's good to know. Portia steps out. Bebe: Seems innocent, doesn't she? Almost naive. That's the quality that sets the trap. Then, when she's lulled her prey, she pounces, pounces like a tiger- Frasier: All right! Bebe, what's going on here? Are you fobbing me off? Bebe: Ouch! Do you want the knife back, or shall I just keep it in my heart? Portia will merely be looking after the day-to-day details, freeing me up for the big picture. Frasier: Really? Bebe: Of course. You are the rock upon which this agency is founded, upon which we continue to thrive! A handsome young man comes into the office. Zach: Oh, sorry to interrupt, Bebe, but we have reservations at one o'clock. Frasier: Dr. Zach! What is he doing here? Bebe: Dr. Who? I'm confused, who are you? Frasier: For God's sake, Bebe! Bebe: [pushes Dr. Zach out] You were supposed to meet me in the restaurant - whoever you are! [closes the door] Frasier: Bebe, how could you? I feel so betrayed. Bebe: And I am just as outraged as you are! Frasier: You know, I see what's going on here. You're trying to pass me off to your assistant so that you can devote all your attention to your new number one client! Bebe: Nonsense. There is no one more important to me than you. Frasier: Then let him have the junior agent. Bebe: Frasier... we have done great things, you and I. We've climbed this mountain together and planted your flag. Now I've discovered another young man who... wants to plant his flag. Would you deny me the chance to share in that adventure? Frasier: Yes. Bebe: Oh, come on, don't be selfish! You'll be fine with Portia. Don't forget, she reports directly to me. Frasier: Bebe... throughout our relationship, I have put up with a lot. But I never doubted for an instant your devotion to my career. Apparently, that is at an end. And so, therefore, is my association with this agency. [goes to the door] And, screw, may I add, YOU! He walks out of the office. Portia: I was thinking we could have that meeting next Tuesday. Frasier: We have met! [leaves] END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO IN MARTIN'S DEFENSE, EDDIE ATE SOME TOO Scene Four - Apartment Frasier comes in the door. Martin is in his chair, Niles and Daphne are pouring sherries by the bar. On the table is a pot of flowers. Martin: Hey, Fras. You just missed your new agent. She sent those. [points to the flowers] Frasier: I didn't miss her. I was hiding in the stairwell until she left. And Portia is not my new agent. She's Bebe's minion! Her little winged monkey! The woman has been hounding me - you know, I had to turn off my cell phone. God only knows how she got the new number. Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, did the woman from the Publisher's Clearing House reach you? She seemed quite insistent. Martin: Wow, she sounds like a real go-getter. Frasier: I don't care if she is, it'll be a cold day in hell before I go back to Bebe's agency. Martin: Well, uh, you're not going to send back the flowers and muffins, are you? Frasier: I don't see any muffins. Martin: I mean, if she had sent muffins. He quickly drops his paper over the remains of one on the side table. Frasier: Don't worry, Dad, there will be muffins a-plenty. Now that I am agent-less, the word will spread like wildfire! You be prepared for this phone to start ringing right off the hook! Everyone glances expectantly at the phone, Martin cupping a hand to his ear. Frasier: I didn't mean literally. Daphne: I know, but how great would that have been? You saying, "phone's gonna start ringing," and boom! Frasier: Yes, yes, yes. The truth is, I'm excited. I'm excited about having a new agent, I'm excited about being excited about my career again! The phone rings. Daphne: Ooh, so close! [Niles tries to take away her sherry, but she waves him off] Frasier: And so it begins. The sharks smell Crane in the water. Let's just see which one of them's hungriest, shall we? [picks up] Hello? Yes, could you hold on for just one moment, please? [holds out the phone] It's for you, Dad. Martin: Oh, thanks. He takes the phone. Frasier goes to his room. Martin: Hello? Oh, hi, Dr. Stewart, thanks for calling me back. Um, I was hoping you could refill my prescription without me coming into the office. Oh, come on, doc! My son's a doctor, he says I look fine. [smaller voice] A psychiatrist. Okay, okay, I'll be in there tomorrow. Bye. [hangs up; to Niles] I hope you're satisfied. Niles: Oh, Dad, we've discussed this. I'm happy to drive you to the doctor, but I can't just write you a prescription. I would never violate my ethics like that. Have you asked Frasier? Martin: Yeah, he said the same old baloney you do. Look, I've been taking this medicine for four years, Niles. I don't need an exam, I just need a refill. Niles: No! Daphne: Here's a thought: Niles, you're a doctor. Why don't you give your father a full medical examination? That way you'll both be satisfied. Niles and Martin look equally terrified. Martin: Can you pick me up at one? Niles: Yeah. Martin does a hasty about-turn and heads for the hallway, while Niles gulps down the rest of his sherry. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Five - KACL Roz is sat in her booth as usual. Frasier's voice is on the air, but his booth is empty. Portia enters Roz's booth. Frasier: [on air] I'm telling you that most problems are resolved... Portia: Knock, knock. I'm looking for Frasier. Roz: Oh, he's not working today. Portia: Then why am I hearing his show? Roz: Well, we play "The Best of Crane" on Wednesdays. Portia: Oh. Well, would you please ask him to call Portia? It's really important. [gives Roz her card] Roz: Sure. Portia leaves. Roz knocks on the glass partition, and Frasier emerges from under the console, still holding the mike. Frasier: And I know it's never easy, Rachel, but you and your husband won't get anywhere until you confront your problems head-on. [disconnects] We'll be right back, Seattle, after the news. He goes to commercial. Roz comes into his booth. Roz: Can't dodge her forever. Frasier: I won't have to, Roz, as soon as I have a new agent. Have there been any calls? Roz: Nope, sorry. Frasier: What? What the hell is going on? Surely someone would be interested in representing me. I still have a viable career, even if, arguably, it may or may not be going through what might be perceived by some as a... tiny lull. Portia: [re-enters] There you are! [Frasier turns and gasps] I was leaving you a note on the windshield of your car, and I said to myself, "His car's here, so he's here, so why am I leaving a note on his windshield?" [giggles, and hands him the note] Here. Frasier: Portia, I'm sure you're a lovely person, and I applaud your effort to find a new career - but not at the expense of my own. Portia: But you haven't heard my ideas yet. Frasier: Nor will I. [hands back the note] How can I make this any clearer to you? You are not my agent. You're not going to be my agent. Not now, not ever. So go practice on someone else's time, and leave me alone. Portia leaves the booth, seemingly on the verge of tears. Roz: That was brutal. Frasier: [sighs] Don't worry, Roz, I'll be okay. Roz: She seems very persistent. That's not such a horrible thing to have in an agent. Frasier: I'd rather have no agent at all, than let Bebe win! [thinks] You know, that's not such a bad idea. I don't need an agent, I can represent myself! I mean, I have some insight into the human mind. I think that would be helpful in negotiations. My God, I should have thought of this sooner! Just think of the money I could save! Roz: Isn't that what you said when you cut your own hair? Frasier: No! That was just an emotional response to an unruly cowlick. Roz: Okay, fine. So, you represent Frasier Crane. Now what? Frasier sees Kenny out in the hallway. Frasier: Well, for one, I'll do what Bebe couldn't do: I'll get Kenny to boost the advertising budget for our show. [knocks on the glass] Roz: Yeah, but you already asked him that and he said no. Frasier: Yes, that was Dr. Frasier Crane asking. Now, it's Agent Crane - licensed to charm. Kenny: [enters] What is it, Doc? Is this about promos? Frasier: No! [laughs, to Roz] Will you believe this guy? No, Kenny, listen, I've been thinking. You know, I think it's high time that you and I got together outside of the workplace. So, there's a little club downtown that I go to. How would you like to join me tomorrow for a little... uh, a little massage, and a little steam, huh? What do you say? Kenny: Are you kidding? I'm front and center with a fistful of singles! Frasier: [taken aback, laughs] Kenny, hah! It-it's not that kind of club. Kenny: Oh... fives? Roz: What is wrong with you? Frasier: It's an athletic club, with squash courts and a swimming pool. Kenny: Oh, right! [confidential whisper] Gotcha. [leaves] [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Six - Niles's Mercedes Niles is driving Martin to the doctor's. Martin: Hmm, I'm sure you're happy. You're not gonna be spending the next hour sitting bare-assed on some cold steel table. Niles: And neither are you, you big baby. I'm sorry, I'd help if I could, Dad, but I swore an oath. A siren wails. Niles looks behind him and sees a patrol car. Niles: I wonder what this is about. [pulls over] I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. A traffic cop walks up to the car and leans over on Niles's side. Niles: Good afternoon, officer. Uh, I didn't do anything wrong, did I? Martin: Actually, son, you made an illegal left turn back there. Niles: Thank you, Dad. Cop: License and registration, please. Niles: [as he's fishing them out] Uh, you know, officer, my father here is no stranger to the rules of the road. Isn't that right, Dad? Martin just shrugs. Niles: Yes, sir, he is, uh, intimately acquainted with Lady Law. Aren't you, Dad? Martin: Just a concerned citizen. Cop: I'll be right back. [walks back to his car] Niles: Why didn't you flash your badge and get me out of the ticket? Martin: Well, I would have, Niles, but I took an oath too. However, if you were to take out that prescription pad... Niles: Are you blackmailing your own son? Martin: I'd write fast, there's nothing I can do once he writes that ticket. Niles hurriedly takes out his pad and scribbles on it. Martin leans out his window. Martin: Officer? As the cop comes back, Niles tears off the slip. Martin tucks it inside his jacket. Cop: Yes? Martin: Uh, yeah, officer, I was wondering if maybe you could give my son a break. [flashes his badge] I don't think he'll be doing that again. Cop: Well, uh, I guess this time I could let it slide. [rips off the ticket and gives it to Niles] Drive carefully. Niles: Oh, I will. Thank you, sir. As the cop walks away, Martin starts laughing. Niles: What? Martin: I got news for you: you didn't make an illegal left turn. That's a buddy of mine. I set the whole thing up to get you to write me my prescription! [laughs] Niles: [fastens his seat belt] I got news for you: I just drew you a picture of a dog. Martin stops laughing, checks the slip, and sees HE'S the one who's been had. Niles: [starts the car again] R-R-Ruff! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Seven - Locker Room The empty locker room at Frasier's upscale health club. There are two rows of lockers along opposite walls, and two benches. Frasier and Kenny, wearing only towels, exit the steam room. [N.B. Check out Kelsey Grammer's performance in the 1998 HBO comedy, "The Pentagon Wars" for more Turkish bath humor.] Frasier: So, what'd you think? Kenny: Oh, I could get addicted to that! What was that stuff? Frasier: Steam! Kenny: Oh, it felt so great! Everything's great here! I can't believe I never heard of this place. [sits on a bench] They should advertise or something. Frasier: [sits opposite him] You know, speaking of advertising, I think our recent dip in the ratings is due to a lack of advertising. Kenny: What's to advertise, Doc? Your show's nine years old. Unless there's some new angle to promote, it's money better spent elsewhere. Now if you'll excuse me, I noticed a basket of free combs by the sink. Kenny leaves. Frasier throws down his small towel in frustration, then turns and opens his locker. Behind him, Portia walks into the locker room. Just as Frasier unwraps his towel from his waist- Portia: Dr. Crane? Frasier: [gasps, jerks his towel back on] Portia, what the hell are you doing here? This is a private club and a men's locker room, get out! Portia: Not until you give me a chance. Frasier: Look, I told you, I'm not interested. Kenny re-enters, not noticing Portia, and opens his locker. Kenny: Hey, Doc, can I borrow your roll-on? I left mine at home- [unwraps his towel, turning around] HEY! He fumbles his towel, dropping it to the floor, and shields himself with the locker door. Portia: You must be Kenny Daly. I'm Portia Sanders, Frasier's agent. Frasier: She is not my agent! Kenny: I'm naked. Portia: How much are you prepared to increase this man's advertising budget? Kenny: Zero, and again, naked. Frasier: [hands him his towel] Kenny, look, I apologize for this. Portia, you're leaving! Portia: Not until he hears me out. Kenny: [grabs his pants] Well, forget it, I'm out of here. [Portia snatches them away] Hey! What are you doing? Portia: Taking your pants. You'll get them back when I'm finished. Okay, you're saving a few bucks on advertising, but with a little investment now, you can make a bundle when we syndicate! Kenny: Are you kidding? Who's gonna want to syndicate Frasier? Frasier: Hey! Kenny: No, no, no offense, Doc, but if you were to syndicate- Frasier: Kenny, I take offense! [they start arguing] Portia: [Bebe-ish] All right! Sit down, and listen up! Surprised, they shut up. Kenny bumps into the locker and rewraps his towel. He and Frasier sit on a bench together. Portia: Legs together! They clap their knees together. [N.B. Kudos to Chenoweth :-)] Portia transforms before their eyes - the hypnotic pitch, the expansive gestures, the haunted eyes - leaving us no doubt whose prot�g�e she really is. She drapes Kenny's pants over her shoulder and begins. Portia: All right, maybe you two don't see the potential for syndication... but I do. Sure, the big markets are harder to crack. But we'll start smaller - KBCD in Medford, KBAB in Boise. They're both changing their formats. After the beginning of the year, they're going to need new programming. Soon, we'll have a vast and viable audience. [gestures with the pants] Oh, think of it! The obsessive-compulsive on his tractor... the bipolar cop on his beat... the soccer mom seething with rage! [points to Frasier] And they're all out there across this great land of yours, just waiting for you to help them! Frasier: [enraptured] I've always thought that! Portia: Yes! [to Kenny] But I can't do any of this unless you start backing us up with some advertising! [to Frasier] And you! You've got to be ready to schmooze every station manager from Portland, to the other Portland! [steps back] I'm hungry for this. I need you both to be as hungry as I am! Are you hungry?! Frasier: [jumps up] I'm starving! Kenny: [jumps up] Me, too! Portia: [normal voice] Great. Call my office Monday morning, we'll go over the details. She walks out, still carrying the pants, leaving Frasier and Kenny awestruck. Frasier: Wow! That was my very first locker room pep talk! Kenny: Mine, too! Frasier: She took your pants, you know! Kenny: [laughing] I know! The realization slowly hits Kenny, but Frasier still trembles with excitement. END OF ACT TWO [SCENE_BREAK] Locker Room: Frasier is now dressed and ready to leave. Dr. Zach walks in wearing a towel. Frasier greets him, shaking his hand and exchanging a few amiable words, then Dr. Zach goes back to his locker and gets a can of something. He says goodbye to Frasier and goes into the steam room, not noticing Frasier swipe his pants out of the open locker as he walks out the door.	Plan: A: The Seattle radio airwaves; Q: What has a new star psychiatrist? A: Kenny; Q: Who suggests that Frasier emulate Dr. Zach? A: the ratings; Q: What does Kenny want Frasier to emulate Dr. Zach to improve? A: his agent; Q: Who does Frasier contact to discuss raising the advertising budget? A: Bebe Glazer's office; Q: Where does Frasier go to find his agent? A: Portia Sanders; Q: Who is Bebe Glazer's former assistant? A: Kristin Chenoweth; Q: Who played Portia Sanders? A: a "full-fledged junior agent; Q: What has Portia Sanders become? A: Bebe's agency; Q: What agency does Frasier decide to end his association with? A: her abilities; Q: What does Portia want to prove to Frasier? A: agents; Q: Who does Frasier not get any offers from? A: a medical examination; Q: What does Martin try to avoid by asking Niles to write a prescription for him? A: Niles; Q: Who refuses to violate his ethics? A: a plan; Q: What does Martin devise to force Niles to write a prescription for him? Summary: The Seattle radio airwaves have a new star psychiatrist: Dr. Zach, a doctor from whom Frasier differs entirely. Dr. Zach's brand of radio is, as Frasier describes it, "suggestive smarmy sleaze", but it has become very popular. Kenny suggests Frasier emulate him a little to improve the ratings. Frasier prefers the idea of raising the advertising budget; Kenny disagrees. This prompts Frasier to contact his agent, but upon arriving at Bebe Glazer's office, he learns that her newest client is Dr. Zach himself. She passes Frasier on to her former assistant, Portia Sanders ( Kristin Chenoweth ), who has become a "full-fledged junior agent". Frasier refuses and storms out angrily, deciding to end his association with Bebe's agency. However, he finds Portia very persistent, determined to prove her abilities to him. Meanwhile, he is disappointed not to have any more offers from agents, so considers representing himself. Martin attempts to avoid a medical examination by asking Niles to write a prescription for him. Niles refuses to violate his ethics, so Martin devises a plan by which he hopes to force his hand.
MEREDITH: As surgeons we're trained to look for disease. CHRISTINA: You're going camping? BURKE: With Shepherd, yes. CHRISTINA: With the camping on the ground and everyone peeing behind the same bush. BURKE: With the fresh air. MEREDITH: Sometimes, the disease is easily detected. CHRISTINA: We have back-to-back CABGs. I booked the ORs. BURKE: I cancelled the ORs. CHRISTINA: Why? BURKE: 'Cause I'm going camping with Shepherd. CHRISTINA: But why? [SCENE_BREAK] DEREK: Ah, men being men. Mountain men. Men in the wild. BURKE: Ah the road not taken. The uncharted course. Terra incognita. MEREDITH: Most of the time, we need to go step by step. First, probing the surface, looking for any sign of trouble. BURKE: But we do have to make one stop... MEREDITH: A mole or a lesion, or an unwelcome lump. CHIEF: Mountain men in the wild. Terra incognita. You know, this is my first camping trip. DEREK: Oh you don't say. So Preston, any other little surprises? [SCENE_BREAK] IZZIE: Okay, sunscreen, your insect repellent, and you're going to need a shovel to bury your poop. GEORGE: Izzie, I'm not five. (Referring to his jacket.) Zip me If Callie calls... tell her... I'm a mountain man... man of the wild, right Dr. Burke? BURKE: Ok, him I invited. GEORGE: Izzie baked us treats! MEREDITH: Have fun with your... space... or whatever. [SCENE_BREAK] GEORGE: I just said we needed an extra tent. Do you think Joe misunderstood? JOE: Do you want to follow us, or should we follow you? (Derek mumbles something.) ALEX: Hey guys. GEORGE: That wasn't me, I swear. [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody just by looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell us a whole different story. [SCENE_BREAK] Callie, Mark, and Addison have an exchange of glances as Mark gets coffee in a break room. MEREDITH: Derek's camping. Taking time, getting space. CHRISTINA: Prestons do not go into the woods. A guy named Preston is going to get his ass kicked by a squirrel. IZZIE: It's basically a slumber party. We do it inside, they do it outside. That's the only difference. MARK: Have you seen what's his face? IZZIE: Alex Karev. MARK: Poor bstrd seems to get a thrill out of tagging along after me. MEREDITH: He's camping. MARK: Well in that case how would you like to get a thrill out of tagging along after me? MEREDITH: Dr. Bailey makes the assignments. BAILEY: Dr. Bailey says it's fine. Go. Stephens conference room. You're spending the day with your peer counsellor. IZZIE: Is that a shrink? The hospital is already making me see a shrink. BAILEY: Stephens, go meet your peer. Get counselled. Exciting procedures on the board today Yang. CHRISTINA: Yes, Dr. Bailey... which one would you like me to start with? [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: Are those monopoly pieces? ERIC: 21 of them to be exact. Mostly houses and hotels. I also swallowed the thimble, the racecar, oh, and the shoe. MOM: Eric and his older brother don't always get along. ERIC: He wouldn't let me play monopoly with him and his friends. This way, nobody could play. BAILEY: Yang, what do you recommend? CHRISTINA: Is this even surgical? BAILEY: Yang. CHRISTINA: Track and inventory the pieces, measure the progress by x-ray. Keep examining the stool. BAILEY: Very good. Enjoy. CHRISTINA: Dr. Bailey, isn't this more of a nurses job? BAILEY: Are you too good to help that boy? CHRISTINA: Yes. (Then, at Bailey's look) No. Definitely not. I just think I'd me more help if I was assisting in a surgery with you. BAILEY: No surgery for you. CHRISTINA: I'm sorry I don't understand. BAILEY: I don't understand why you erased my name from the OR board. CHRISTINA: I don't know what... BAILEY: No don't do that. Don't give me that fake confused look. It irritates me. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You erased my name from Burke's humpty dumpty surgery, you know it, I know it. What I don't know is why. CHRISTINA: I... have no comment. BAILEY: No surgeries Yang. MEREDITH: Okay, before you start, there are rules to this friendship thing or whatever. MARK: The dirty mistresses club has rules? Gosh, you think a club of dirty mistresses would be a little less uptight about things like rules. MEREDITH: Number one, no flirting. Second, no talking about Derek. And C, no giving me the face. MARK: The face... MEREDITH: The McSteamy face. It doesn't work on me. I'm immune. MARK: You know, if I had gone off to the woods, I'd have invited you to keep me warm. MEREDITH: Breaking rules one, two and three. [SCENE_BREAK] IZZIE: Sydney, you're my counsellor? SYDNEY: Peer counsellor. We're equals. So how are you? (She gives Izzie a hug.) IZZIE: I'm fine. SYDNEY: That's outside Izzie talking. How's inside Izzie? [SCENE_BREAK] MARK: So you and Derek. You guys together or...just answer the question and I'll quit asking. MEREDITH: Derek and I are taking some space. MARK: You're taking space from each other. Or he's taking some space from you? MEREDITH: Derek and I, there's just a lot of water under the thing or whatever. DONNA: My knight in shining poly-cotton. MARK: Good morning, Donna. Vicky. How was the trip? VICKY: Smooth, perfect. DONNA: Seak for yourself. VICKY: She's still having some pen1s issues. MEREDITH: I'm sorry...am I missing something? VICKY: I think you're missing the fact that Dr. Sloan is planning on removing my husband's pen1s this afternoon. MEREDITH: Oh and your husband is? DONNA: Right here. [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: Daniel Gibson, 34, in for sexual reassignment surgery. MARK: Donna, not Daniel. She's been living as Donna for 2 years, come on Grey. MEREDITH: So essentially, today we are inverting his...um her...uh.. VICKY: Her pen1s. That's okay. You'll get it. MARK: You know the steps for a vaginoplasty? MEREDITH: Not exactly. MARK: Well if you want to get in on this surgery today, you better learn. DONNA: Don't pay any attention to him, you're doing very well. VICKY: Better than I did when I first found out. MARK: We just need to run a few pre-op labs. Make sure everything's in working order. DONNA: Then surgery today? MARK: Big day Donna. You excited? DONNA: Excited doesn't begin to cover it. MARK: You're going to do great. [SCENE_BREAK] (The boys set up camp. George gets rocks to go around the fire, Chief makes himself lunch, Alex sets up a tent.) GEORGE: That is a nice looking picnic basket. CHIEF: Thank you. The concierge at the hotel put it together. We've got crackers, pate, and an assortment of Seattle soft cheeses. You want some? GEORGE: No thanks. ALEX: Dude, he brought silverware. GEORGE: You should talk. Have you ever been camping before? ALEX: What? GEORGE: A t-shirt and sneakers? You'll freeze your ass off. ALEX: So what I'm wearing a jacket. GEORGE: Just don't come crawling to me in the middle of the night when you want to huddle for warmth CHIEF: It's a good looking tent Joe. You and Walter got room for one more? JOE: We thought you'd be sleeping with one of the Doctors. CHIEF: Well Preston's already got O'Malley for a room mate. But just between you and me, these other tents are kind of puny. JOE: Well Walter and I were hoping to share this one. You know... just the two of us. But I guess if you really want to... ALEX: Chief... I don't think you really... CHIEF: They've offered Karev. GEORGE: They want to be alone... (Walter is Joe's boyfriend.) CHIEF: Oh! So you are um... BURKE: Chief. CHIEF: Wonderful... man love. Beautiful My cousin's gay...so I'm hip. Brokeback mountain and all that. BURKE: Who's ready to go fishing? CHIEF: I am! MEREDITH: Guess what I'm doing today? Removing a man's pen1s. CHRISTINA: You got an S. R. S? Seriously? MEREDITH: He...She is one of Sloan's patients. CHRISTINA: Oh that should be me. I should be turning a pen1s to a vg1n. That should be my pen1s. IZZIE: I have to hide. Sydney is my peer counsellor. "Heal with LOVE" Sydney. MEREDITH and CHRISTINA: Oh ew. IZZIE: Yeah I'm supposed to shadowing her and dialoguing all day unless I can come up with a medical reason not to. Anybody? Anything? [SCENE_BREAK] (Izzie is going through Eric's poo.) IZZIE: Couple of houses and the dog. That's nine pieces so far. I love the dog. I'm always the dog when I play monopoly. [SCENE_BREAK] CALLIE: I got a page... ADDISON: Jamie Carr. She slipped and fell in the shower this morning. JAMIE: I can't see my own feet. I did this CALLIE: Nasty break. She doesn't have any meds for the pain? ADDISON: She refused. She's toughing it out. CALLIE: Oh don't tough it out. Just say yes. JAMIE: But the baby... I know Dr. Montgomery said it was alright, but I'll suffer. Is he okay? He was kicking like crazy, but... ADDISON: It's possible that he's just sleeping. Husband: See... our son sleeps. He's sleeping Jamie. JAMIE: Do I need a cast? CALLIE: Definitely. But first we need to straighten the bones out. Then we'll put your arm in this fancy sling. And use gravity to help align the bones. ADDISON: Will you excuse me? I just need to... (Addison has seen something on the ultrasound.) [SCENE_BREAK] VICKY: I'll trade you. MEREDITH: Vicky... VICKY: Insurance forms. Donna gets the surgeries and I do the forms. Super fun. MEREDITH: You seem to be handling this remarkably well. VICKY: Well I left at first. When she...when he told me. You plan a life together you know? Kids and... suddenly that's all out the window. Suddenly your husband is this other girl in your house who's borrowing your eye liner and waxing her legs. MEREDITH: But you came back... why? VICKY: Honestly, right now... I have no idea. I'm really going to miss the pen1s. [SCENE_BREAK] (Addison is in a bathroom stall crying.) CALLIE: You okay? ADDISON: I'm ok. I'm fine. I'm good. CALLIE: Don't make me climb over the stall. I'll do it but I'll be pissed 'cause I don't know you that well. (Addison lets her in.) CALLIE: You're not okay. ADDISON: I don't know why. There's no reason that this should affect me this much. I'm used to this I am but.. CALLIE: Used to what? ADDISON: That woman, yesterday, she's just as healthy as can be and today her baby's dead. [SCENE_BREAK] CHIEF: So uh...how long have you and Walter been together? JOE: Ten years. Off and on. But now, definitely on. Thinking about kids. CHIEF: That's a big step. JOE: You have kids? CHIEF: No. I work a lot. Adele and I...well she always said she didn't want to raise kids alone. JOE: Walter says the same thing. CHIEF: He does? JOE: Well I'm always working at the bar. But what are you going to do right? Someone has to run the place. CHIEF: Exactly. JOE: But Walter...if I have to make a change, I'll do it. Can't imagine my life without him you know? [SCENE_BREAK] BURKE: Very nice O'Malley. GEORGE: At least once a month my dad would take me and my brother to white river. BURKE: Your father taught you well. How are you and Dr. Torres doing these days? GEORGE: Good. She doesn't know it yet, but good. Excellent even. For a while she wanted a certain level of commitment, and I just didn't feel... I was... now I am though. BURKE: So you're stepping up? GEORGE: I'm stepping up. You knew right? That it was time with Christina? BURKE: Right. (Burke tries to bait the hook and his hand tremors. George sees this.) GEORGE: You alright? BURKE: Absolutely. GEORGE: I just... BURKE: We're here to fish, remember? I'm going to see if I can get a bite downstream. [SCENE_BREAK] MARK: The test results don't lie. DONNA: Breast cancer? MARK: I'm sorry...I'm really...the needle aspiration showed abnormal cells in your tissue. Rare, but it happens. DONNA: So the hormones I've been taking have been feeding the breast cancer? MARK: Yes, that's why we need to stop the hormone therapy and start the treatment. DONNA: Or the cancer will get worse. The operation? MARK: There would be no point. Once we stop the hormones your breasts will shrink, your facial hair will grow back... VICKY: She'll be a man again. DONNA: What if we do the operation? I keep taking the hormones, what then? MARK: Donna you really want to treat this now while it's still in its early stages. DONNA: So if I keep taking the hormones? MEREDITH: You'd be feeding the cancer. DONNA: I could die? Are you saying if I become a woman, I could die? [SCENE_BREAK] ADDISON: They are a happy couple. Look at them. They love each other. They should have everything. Happy people should have...happy things happen to them. I have to tell them.. CALLIE: Wait. The moment you tell them they won't be happy any more. Give them a few more minutes. Let them be happy. A few more minutes. [SCENE_BREAK] ALEX: So you getting back with Callie? GEORGE: Yep. ALEX: Trust me man I don't think you really want to do that. GEORGE: Really? ALEX: Really. GEORGE: So when I get back with her I'm going to tell her that we shouldn't see each other any more, and when she asks why, I'm going to tell her, "Alex Karev thinks our relationship isn't such a good idea." ALEX: You think that'll do the trick? Fine suit yourself. [SCENE_BREAK] DEREK: This was my camping trip. I was going to come alone. BURKE: So why did you invite me? DEREK: Because. It's a guy trip. You know...mountain men. BURKE: You don't have any friends do you? DEREK: Of course I do. BURKE: Guy friends? DEREK: I just need peace. Space. I have a right to space. And you go and invite half the hospital. BURKE: That's because I have guy friends. [SCENE_BREAK] SYDNEY: There you are! I have been looking all over. IZZIE: Dr. Yang needed some help with this patient. She needed help. SYDNEY: Well, patients come first. (She sits down.) CHRISTINA: Oh what... SYDNEY: Oh I'll just wait. IZZIE: Wait? SYDNEY: Wait until you're finished. Then we can dialogue. [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: So what happens with Donna now? MARK: She goes back to being an unhappy man who's stuck with a pen1s. There are millions of us out there. MEREDITH: You're unhappy with your pen1s? MARK: I could be a lot less unhappy. Maybe it's good that he's taking some space. Maybe you two aren't meant to be together. Look, Derek... on the outside he holds it all together, but he's damaged goods Meredith. It's my fault. I damaged him. Maybe forever. You don't want to drink from a poisoned well do you? VICKY: Dr. Sloan? You have to talk to her... she wants to go through with the operation. [SCENE_BREAK] CHIEF: Joe and Walter got tired of not catching any fish. What do you make of that? BURKE: Joe and Walter? CHIEF: No, no. Joe and Walter are great. I meant that we hadn't caught any fish. Any theories. DEREK: Just one. Fish generally don't like to go where there's a lot of noise. [SCENE_BREAK] GEORGE: Did you notice anything going on with Burke? ALEX: No. GEORGE: 'Cause before I thought I saw...what are you doing? You don't use bait when you're casting! It's going to fall off when it hits the water. Here. What you want to do... ALEX: She's sleeping with Sloan dude. GEORGE: What? ALEX: She's sleeping with Sloan. GEORGE: No she's not. ALEX: Torres is doing Sloan. GEORGE: You better take that back. [SCENE_BREAK] DEREK: People moving, chatting. laughing, that sort of thing. That sort of thing that lets the fish know they're not alone. BURKE: So I invited other people. DEREK: This is not a frat party. (They look behind them to see Alex and George fighting.) CHIEF: Hey what are you guys doing? Break it up! [SCENE_BREAK] CHIEF: I don't condone fighting. I don't like fighting. I think it's foolish. But you two idiots seem determined to beat the hell out of each other. So if you're going to do it, you're going to do it by my rules. GEORGE: Rules? CHIEF: Yes, O'Malley, rules, to protect your hands... so you don't do irreparable damage. ALEX: You're dead. CHIEF: Damage that would end your careers before they even started. So with that in mind, we're going to do open handed combat. BOTH: A slap fight? CHIEF: Open handed combat. No scratching... DEREK: This is ridiculous. Karev will kill him. BURKE: Not necessarily. CHIEF: No punching no kicking, no wrestling moves of any kind. Are there any questions? GEORGE: That doesn't leave us with much. CHIEF: All right. BURKE: O'Malley's a scrapper. DEREK: A scrapper? He's going to destroy him. BURKE: He's tougher than he looks. Silent but deadly. DEREK: This is immature and stupid. I think you'd agree with me. BURKE: They're letting off some steam. This is why you don't have any guy friends. DEREK: This is why I should have come alone. [SCENE_BREAK] DONNA: I've wanted this since before I can remember. I've waited forever. I'm not stopping now. MARK: Donna listen to me. DONNA: If you don't do the operation, I'll go to New York and find another doctor. MEREDITH: You're going to have a hard time finding a surgeon... DONNA: I will find one MARK: Donna I'm trying to save your life. DONNA: As a man. I am not a man. I'll fight the cancer, I'll just fight it as a woman. VICKY: For God's sake, wake up Daniel. DONNA: My name is Donna. VICKY: I'm not going to stand by and watch you kill yourself. DONNA: I need Vicky to love me. But I need her to love...ME. [SCENE_BREAK] JAMIE: Oh, please tell me it's going to stop hurting soon. CALLIE: You're almost done. TED: When our son's 15 and he's yelling you've never done anything for him, you can guilt him with the wrist. ADDISON: Ted, Jamie, I need to talk to you. About the baby. TED: Dr. Montgomery... JAMIE: You have to say it. I won't believe it unless you say it. You have to SAY it. [SCENE_BREAK] CHRISTINA: Thanks for this Izzie...thank you. No good deed goes unpunished. IZZIE: Good deed. You're making me dig through crap. It's not like I asked her to spend the day with me. SYDNEY: Oh. Ohhwee. How's it going in there? Any luck? CHRISTINA: Okay, I can't have that grinning puppet head stare at me another second so just go. IZZIE: Christina... CHRISTINA: Hey, this is my crap. This is my crap. Bailey assigned me to this crap, you get Sydney. IZZIE: Fine. Come on Sydney, we can go. SYDNEY: Okey-dokey-pokey. ERIC: Man, I thought my brother and I had problems. But you two are just idiots. CHRISTINA: Oh and swallowing monopoly pieces? Wasn't exactly a genious move. You could have really hurt yourself. ERIC: But I didn't did i? And now mom's going to let me play all the monopoly I want. That's all that matters, getting to play. CHRISTINA: And that makes you smart? ERIC: You're fishing through my poop, how smart are you? [SCENE_BREAK] (George and Alex are going at it.) BURKE: Whatever it was Karev, don't take it back. DEREK: We don't even know why they're fighting. BURKE: Arms, O'Malley, don't drop your arms! (Then they attack each other.) CHIEF: Hey! No wresting! DEREK: This is stupid. BURKE: George is defending his honor. Karev says that Sloan's been sleeping with Torres. DEREK: What? (Joe and Walter walk up.) WALTER: Next time we are not going camping with straight guys (Alex grabs George and starts pushing him, and they land against Walter, who is knocked down and hits his head on a rock.) [SCENE_BREAK] CHRISTINA: So basically, you're getting paid to study penises all day? MEREDITH: I'm studying for Steamy's reassignment surgery. CHRISTINA: You like McSteamy? MEREDITH: Yes. NO! Not like that! It's just... he thinks I'm better off without Derek's baggage. He says there's too much history there. Maybe in his own sick twisted way, he's trying to protect me. CHRISTINA: Protect you? Maybe. Hey, um...when your mother was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's, why didn't you tell anyone? MEREDITH: She asked me not to. Why? CHRISTINA: So you think it was right to keep her secret? MEREDITH: Yes. Why? CHRISTINA: Even if it meant you had to fish crap out of a toilet all day and probably for years to come. MEREDITH: Ok, rewind. Whose secret are you keeping? (She gets paged to Eric's room.) CHRISTINA: What happened? NURSE: He was fine one minute, then... CHRISTINA: Eric, lay down... his abdomen is rigid. There's blood in his vomit, He's perfed. Page Bailey. [SCENE_BREAK] BURKE: There's a lot of blood, but it didn't penetrate the Gilia. WALTER: Is that a good thing? DEREK: Yeah, it means we don't have to do deep stitches. JOE: Using a fishing hook? BURKE: Don't worry. We sterilized it, and clipped off the barb. It's as good as a needle. DEREK: All right. Wound's clean. Just keep some pressure on that chief. Walter, we're going to do some stitches. WALTER: Is it going to hurt? DEREK: Yes. JOE: It's okay. CHIEF: Karev, you want to sew him up? JOE: No... I want an attending. ALEX: Thanks dude. JOE: You're doing some crazy MacGuyver surgery in the middle of the woods. I want what's best for my guy. No offence. GEORGE: Don't worry Dr. Burke's really good at doing this. You are, right? BURKE: Right. There's still a little bleeding there. CHIEF: Hold on Walter. DEREK: Got it? BURKE: I always have it. (George had been watching Burke's hand the entire time... waiting for a tremor.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Christina clears her throat.) BAILEY: You want something? CHRISTINA: He is my patient. I've been with him all day. If there's any possibility... BAILEY: Why'd you erase my name from the board? CHRISTINA: I don't know what you're talking about... BAILEY: You really want to go head to head with me on this? You really want that? Right now? This second? You chose your own fate. [SCENE_BREAK] SYDNEY: So tell me about Denny. IZZIE: What? SYDNEY: Yeah it helps to talk about what happened. So, as much as you can. IZZIE: Okay, we are done here. SYDNEY: Izzie, really... it helps to share. IZZIE: No, I don't want to share. You know what I've been doing all day? Sifting through feces. I would rather sift through feces than talk to you. And now you bring up Denny like you want me to gossip with you? SYDNEY: I understand this must be difficult... IZZIE: What you cut someone's LVAD wire, you fell in love with a man and he died? SYDNEY: Well no, but... IZZIE: Well then how in the hell could you possibly know? MARK: Grey, what's our next step? MEREDITH: Continue the primary incision in the ventral side of the shaft. I am surprised that you agreed to do the surgery. MARK: People don't come to me to fix what's on the outside, they come to me to fix what's on the inside. And if that means giving someone a straighter nose, or bigger breasts, or..if that helps a person get by.. I dont run. I don't hide. I don't take space. [SCENE_BREAK] ALEX: Well don't look at me, I didn't start it. CHIEF: Karev... ALEX: Look I just came out here to have some fun. Then he starts jumping all over me about what I'm wearing. He just rubs me the wrong way. CHIEF: You're on a camping trip. You're supposed to be enjoying the great outdoors. ALEX: You know I grew up in a bar? Literally, in a bar. My dad was always doing one of two things in there. Playing music or drinking. Dude never even took me to the park. I just figured this was my chance to get out with they guys. The one time I try... CHIEF: You wanted to be a different person. (Referring to Joe and Walter.) They're a happy couple. ALEX: Yeah. CHIEF: I miss my wife. BURKE: You have high standards. GEORGE: You have high standards. BURKE: Your standards are too high. You... make people out to be...and people make mistakes. Your standards are too high. You see a flaw and you attack. GEORGE: You're saying that if Christina did something like... BURKE: Christina and I are a team. We are a team. You're either a part of the team or you play alone for the rest of your life. (Jamie is having to push out her baby.) ADDISON: Good, push Jamie. (Jamie gives up.) I need you to push one more time. Jamie. Ted. One more time, push. We got it. (Addison hands her the dead baby, and Callie gives Addison a supportive pat on the shoulder.) [SCENE_BREAK] BURKE: So that Mark Sloan... He's bad news. DEREK: Like a cancer. He infects everything. What are we, 3 hours of Seattle and still he infects everything? You know I thought that if I just got away for a while I'd get some answers...a fresh start. CHIEF: Fresh starts, no such thing. DEREK: Any other words of wisdom that you'd like to give us Chief? CHIEF: I'm living in a hotel. I buy most of my clothes from the hotel gift shop and my wife wont speak to me.\ BURKE: Well don't look at me. I came out here for the same reasons you did. I have no wisdom. There is no wisdom here. DEREK: So in other words, we're all a bunch of idiots. BURKE: Yes... [SCENE_BREAK] SYDNEY: I lost a kid...my first year. It was my fault. And I just couldn't ...so I had a breakdown, I got time off, and when I came back I put a smile on my face, and everybody thought I was fine. I lost a kid. It comes in waves Izzie. There's a lull and then another wave hits you. I wasn't trying to pry. I just wanted you to know...it's okay not to be fine sometimes. IZZIE: I miss him. All the time I miss him. It's not waves it's constant. All the time. And I walk through the doors of this hospital, and I want to be here I do. But I don't know...if I can be a surgeon again. And I can't talk about it because it scares me too much. Okay? SYDNEY: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: You came back VICKY: I was heading home. I was on my way to the airport...then...you asked before why I came back the first time. I tried not to. I went on dates. I had a lot of great first dates with guys who were planning to stay guys. And you know you have a great date and you want to tell your best friend about it. My best friend is Daniel. Donna. Then you have a few bad dates and...she's my best friend. She knows me. She loves me. She's my husband. At the end of the day, it's Donna...even when she hurts me. Even when I hate her. MEREDITH: She's the one you want to talk to. MEREDITH: (narrating) Not all wounds are superficial. [SCENE_BREAK] ADDISON: So you're sleeping with Sloan? CALLIE: Was. ADDISON: Me too was. Which is just a hailstorm of self loathing and misery. CALLIE: Yeah. ADDISON: You want to get a drink or something? (Callie's pager goes off.) ADDISON: Some other time then. CALLIE: Yeah. MEREDITH: (narrating) Most wounds run deeper than imagined. You can't see them with the naked eye. BAILEY (Referring to Eric): He'll make a full recovery CHRISTINA: You're back. BURKE: Yes. CHRISTINA: I'm glad you're back. BURKE: Me too. [SCENE_BREAK] CALLIE: George we need to talk. GEORGE: Yeah, I think we do. My dad? MEREDITH: And then there are the wounds that take us by surprise. (George's dad is lying there in a hospital bed.) [SCENE_BREAK] MARK: So this could be just a drink. Or this could be more than a drink. MEREDITH: I could not start something with you. MARK: You could. Start over Meredith. Start fresh. (He gets a page.) MARK: Saved by the bell. Order me another beer. DEREK: Hi. I'm Derek Shepherd. MEREDITH: What are you doing? DEREK: We met at this bar, do you remember? We met and you said "I'm just a girl" and I said "I'm just a guy" and we started this thing. We started this thing. You didn't know anything about me .The good ,the bad, the wife. You didn't even know my name. You didn't know me. I want you to know me. I want to start over, from the beginning. So hi. Derek Shepherd. MEREDITH: You walked away, and now it's too late. There's too much water under then thing or whatever. DEREK: Meredith. Please MEREDITH (narrating): The trick to any wound or disease is to dig down deep and find the real source of the injury. MEREDITH: Hi. I'm Meredith Grey. It's nice to meet you. DEREK: Very nice to meet you too. (They lean in for a kiss.) MEREDITH: (narrating) And once you've found it... try like hell to heal that sucker.	Plan: A: Derek; Q: Who invites Burke to join him on a camping trip? A: a quiet camping trip; Q: What does Derek want Burke to join him on? A: George; Q: Who notices Burke's hand tremor while fishing with him? A: Walter; Q: Who gets injured in the fight between George and Alex? A: Derek's plans; Q: What do George, Alex, Webber, Joe and Walter ruin? A: George's concerns; Q: What does Burke brush off when he notices Burke's hand tremor? A: Addison and Callie team; Q: Who work together to work on a patient? A: medicine; Q: What do Addison and Callie share a passion for? A: Alex tells; Q: Who tells George that Callie slept with Mark? A: the truth; Q: What is George unable to accept? A: Things; Q: What goes from bad to worse when George and Alex fight? A: Meredith assists; Q: Who helps Mark with a sex-change procedure? A: breast cancer; Q: What is the condition of the patient that Mark is trying to get Meredith to sleep with him? A: Bailey; Q: Who confronts Cristina after realizing that she erased his name from the surgery board? A: Bailey's name; Q: What did Cristina erase from the surgery board? A: a surgeon; Q: What is Cristina's profession? A: 21; Q: How many Monopoly pieces did Cristina swallow? A: surgeries; Q: What does Bailey keep Cristina off of until she admits to erasing Bailey's name from the surgery board? A: a counselling session; Q: What does Izzie have to have with Sydney? A: maternity leave; Q: What was Bailey on when Sydney annoyed the interns? Summary: Derek invites Burke to join him on a quiet camping trip, but George, Alex, Webber, Joe and Walter come along, ruining Derek's plans. George notices Burke's hand tremor whilst fishing with him, but Burke brushes off George's concerns. Addison and Callie team up to work on a patient but realize that their passion for medicine is not the only thing they share, as they had both slept with Mark and later regretted it. Alex tells George that Callie slept with Mark, and he is unable to accept the truth, even though he and Callie were broken up at the time. Things go from bad to worse when George and Alex fight, and Walter gets injured in the process. Meredith assists Mark on a sex-change procedure as he keeps trying to get her to sleep with him, but complications arise when it's discovered that the patient has breast cancer. Bailey confronts Cristina after realizing that she was the one to erase Bailey's name off the surgery board, not Burke, and finally regains confidence in her abilities as a surgeon. As a result, Bailey takes revenge on Cristina by assigning her to the case of a child who swallowed 21 Monopoly pieces, and keeps her off surgeries until she admits why she took Bailey's name off the board. Izzie has to have a counselling session with Sydney, the perky resident who annoyed the interns when Bailey was on maternity leave.
COLD OPEN. [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT] (Angie walks around the living room with a glass of champagne in her hand as she admires the photo nudes on the walls.. She's dressed in her black lace underwear and an open shirt. ) (She looks over at Martin, who is starting a fire in the large fireplace.) Angie: You know, first time I had sx was in front of a fire ... on a bear skin rug. (She sits down on the bearskin rug.) Angie: It was so romantic. (Martin laughs wryly as he joins her. He picks up his glass.) Martin Sidley: Gee, and all this time ... I thought you were still a virgin. Angie: (snickers) Yeah, right. You only asked for my number 'cause you heard I was easy. Martin Sidley: Oh, you found me out. Angie: I did. (As they laugh, something from inside the chimney falls into the fire. The fire crackles and grows larger.) Angie: Cheers. (They clink glasses and sip. Angie sees the smoking coming out of the fireplace. Something is blocking the chimney.) Angie: Oh, my God! (The smoke alarm beeps.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - FRONT -- NIGHT] (The police and fire department vehicles are parked outside the Sidley residence.) (The firemen climb up the roof to check the chimney. They peer inside and find a dead body.) Fireman: We've got a body! Alert homicide and CSI! WHITE FLASH TO: [INT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - ATTIC -- NIGHT] (The attic door opens. Sara and Nick climb inside to check the chimney.) (Sara looks around and sees various items - bikes, roller skates, boots, crutches - around. She sees a dead, petrified rat in a trap.) (Nick puts his kit down.) Sara: Chimney extends about four feet from the roofline ... assuming the vic was average height ... and didn't curl up ... head should be right about here. (Sara drills her way through the bricks in the chimney.) Nick: Good! (She clears off some bricks.) Nick: Okay. (She and Nick clear the bricks. Nick punches through the clay backing and they find the burnt remains.) Sara: Whew! Smoldering flesh has the stench of burnt pork ... except much worse. Nick: I smell a little decomp, but mostly the fireplace down below. The body's really positioned too far to be in that condition. Sara: Which means ... the vic was charbroiled somewhere else, tossed in the chimney, and smoked. (Nick nods.) CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - ATTIC -- NIGHT] (Nick and David Phillips stand in front of the open chimney looking at the burned body.) Nick: Check out that mold. It's just eating away at the flesh. David Phillips: That much mold would suggest he was burned at least a few days ago. Nick: He? David Phillips: I measured the pelvic bone -- sub-pubic angle's less than ninety degrees. He's male. Any suggestions on how to proceed? Nick: Wrap and roll. David Phillips: Great. (David picks up a sheet and hands it to Nick. David spreads a second sheet out on the attic floor. Nick wraps his sheet around the body.) Nick: Okay, you get the head. David Phillips: Okay. Nick: On three ... David Phillips: Yeah. Nick: One, two ... three. (They remove the body from the chimney.) David Phillips: Mm! He's lighter than I expected. Nick: Most of the muscle and flesh have burned away. He's pretty well drained of fluids. He probably weighed twice as much when he was alive. David Phillips: Well, that would explain how the killer was able to carry him up to the roof and then foist him down the chimney. Nick: Yeah. Get him to the morgue. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - FRONT - NIGHT] (Sofia talks with Martin Sidley.) Martin Sidley: I started the fire and the smoke just started pouring out. Sofia Curtis: And it was just the two of you in the house. Martin Sidley: Yeah. INTERCUT WITH: (Meanwhile, Brass talks with Angie.) Angie: I had just gotten off work; I came over for a nightcap. Brass: So how long have you known each other? Angie: Mm ... a few months. Sofia Curtis: Do you live alone? Martin Sidley: Yeah. Divorced. Have a son in college. Sofia Curtis: Did you hear anything up on the roof in the past week or so? Martin Sidley: Well, no, I was out of town on business till yesterday. Sofia Curtis: And when was the last time you used the fireplace? Martin Sidley: A few months ago ... around Christmas. Brass: I mean, there was a dead man in your chimney. Didn't you notice anything when you lit the fireplace? Angie: Martin's got a rat problem. Um ... the little suckers get caught in the traps, and just stink for a couple of days. We smelled something, but we figured it was ... Martin Sidley: ... a rat. Sara: (o.s.) Excuse me, Mr. Sidley? (He turns around to find Sara standing behind him.) Sara: There's a ladder leaning against the side of the house ... ? Martin Sidley: Yeah, that's mine. It been there since ... about New Year's, when I took down the Christmas lights. Sara: I'd like to get a set of your fingerprints. I'm going to be dusting the ladder for prints. I'd like to eliminate yours. Martin Sidley: Yeah, sure. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT] (David goes over the body, taking various swab samples. He lifts a plastic credit card-shaped item out of the victim's shirt pocket. He looks at it and places it in a metal bin.) (Nick walks in.) Nick: Crispy on the outside, tender on the inside? David Phillips: Crispy though and through. Based on the melted fibers, he was probably wearing a polyester shirt. Nick: Well, synthetics are just plastic polymers. They melt instead of burn. (Nick sees the burned plastic in the metal bin.) What's that? David Phillips: Oh, some sort of plastic. I found it where his shirt pocket would've been. I'm thinking maybe a credit card. Nick: Good, good. I'll work it up; try to get an ID. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY] (Catherine walks through the hallway when Warrick finds her.) Warrick: Catherine ... Catherine: Yeah. Warrick: Do you remember this Caroline Fitzgibbons case? About a year ago? (She takes the file from him.) Catherine: Of course I do, yeah. Missing person, we never found her. Brown: Yeah, she was a minor, allegedly having an affair with a Mr. Martin ... Sidley? Catherine: Ugh, yeah, what a creep. (Quick flashback to: [EXT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - FRONT PORCH - DAY] Catherine is at the front door talking with Martin Sidley.) Martin Sidley: She's an aspiring photographer. I recently purchased several of her self-portraits. Catherine: Mr. Sidley, her father says that she was headed over here the day before yesterday, and he hasn't heard from her since. Warrick: Would you mind if we come in? Martin Sidley: You know, now's not a good time. So, unless you have a warrant, the answer is no. (He closes the door on them.) END OF FLASHBACK CUT TO: [EXT. LAS VEGAS SCENERY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - FRONT -- DAY] (Warrick and Catherine exit their SUV. Sara sees them.) Sara: What are you guys doing here? Warrick: We were hoping that you'd invite us to help out with your investigation. Sara: Invite you?! Catherine: Warrick and I were looking for a missing person about a year ago, and we tried to get a warrant to search this residence. The owner denied us access. Sara: Now that it's a crime scene, it's fair game, if you're part of the investigation. Warrick: You're picking up what we're putting down. Sara: Well, I've processed room-to-room, photo-documented, sketched the layout ... feel free to dig a little deeper. I'm gonna dust the chimney for prints. I'll be on the roof for awhile. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Nick processes the burned ID card. Greg walks in and looks around at the monitor.) Greg: I'll take "video spectral analysis" for two hundred, Nick. Nick: Yeah, it's a charred piece of plastic found in chimney guy's pocket. It may be a credit card. I'm trying to get some ID off of it. Greg: That's a gym membership card. Nick: How do you know that? Greg: The logo in the corner -- it's Burt's Gym -- I belong to the one on Flamingo. Nick: Oh, yeah? You, uh ... been pumping iron there, Greg? Greg: Yeah, a little, uh ... Muy Thai. It's competitive kickboxing. Gotta balance weights with cardio, you know what I mean? Nick: Yeah, okay, thanks. Anyway, I'll, uh, check it. Maybe I can get a membership name. Greg: Oh, you won't. Member names are printed in black ink. VSA only brings out the colors. Nick: Oh. Maybe it'll help us clear up the photo. (Nick works on the photo and comes up with a picture.) Nick: Nice. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - ROOFTOP -- DAY] (Sara is on the roof. She dusts the chimney bricks and removes a set of prints.) INTERCUT WITH: [INT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - LIVING ROM - DAY] (Catherine looks around the living room. On the side are framed photos of a beautiful, blonde-haired woman, Caroline Fitzgibbons.) (Quick flashback to: The photo of Caroline Fitzgibbons from the file folder. End of flashback.) (Catherine turns around to look at the living room.) (Sara carefully makes her way down the side of the roof to the vent.) (She takes out a camera and snaps a photo of the vent. She dusts and finds a print. (Catherine uses the ALS on the hardwood floors on the base of the stairs.) (Various dissolves as Catherine works throughout the room.) (Warrick snaps a photo in the bedroom. He looks around. He opens the chest at the base of the bed. He walks over to the desk and opens the drawer. He snaps a photo of the drawer.) (Sara turns around and finds a white piece of thin plastic. She snaps a photo and picks it up.) [INT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - FOYER / LIVING ROOM -- DAY] (Using the ALS, Catherine finds something on the stairs. She quickly swabs it and tests it for blood. It tests negative. Warrick walks down the stairs and notices the photos in the living room.) Warrick: Well, hello, Caroline. She was, what, like 16? Isn't it a felony to purchase pornographic pictures of a minor? (Warrick snaps a photo of the photo.) Catherine: Well, believe it or not, exceptions are made for photographs with serious artistic or scientific merit. (He walks over to the other photos hanging on the walls.) Warrick: (scoffs) Oh, yeah. These look real scientific. (He snaps photos of them as well.) Catherine: I don't make the rules. So found a large, diffuse pool of fluorescence here on the wood floor. It's consistent with bleach or some other cleaning compound. Warrick: Bleach on a wood floor, huh? Catherine: Mm. Warrick: I presume you pheno'ed it? Catherine: Yeah. It was negative for blood. (Warrick looks at the stairs.) Catherine: What are you doing? Warrick: I'm looking for the tiniest crack between the planks. You know, you can scrub blood off a surface, but you can't scrub beneath it. (Warrick takes out a pocket knife and pries it in the crack in the stairs.) Warrick: Yeah ... (A piece of the board clatters to the floor. On the board is a spot of blood.) Warrick: We got blood. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Catherine talks with Martin Sidley and his lawyer Duane McWane.) Martin Sidley: As I told you last year, I knew Caroline professionally. We had coffee a couple of times. She was a promising photographer; I'm a collector. We had a lot to talk about. Catherine: How many times is "a couple of times"? Martin Sidley: I don't know, five or six times over a month or two. Catherine: Were they dates? Martin Sidley: Well, we weren't having sexual relations, if that's what you're getting at. Catherine: Was she ever in your house? Martin Sidley: Yeah, I invited her over to see my collection. Look, I'll admit that I was attracted to her, but when she told me her real age, I told her, it was inappropriate for us to see each other. Catherine: How very responsible of you. And you had that conversation how many days before she went missing? Duane McWane: I'm sorry, but we're not here to talk about Caroline, all right? So unless you're on some kind of cold-case fishing expedition ... Catherine: We found an old blood pool in your living room. You want to tell me about that? Duane McWane: Don't answer that. Ms. Willows, let's get something straight. You found a body in the chimney, so you searched his house for clues, but you had no legal right to look for any evidence unrelated to this case. Catherine: We were just working the scene. (Catherine places an evidence bag with the piece of wood on the table. She clears her throat.) Catherine: This piece of wood was pried from your living room. The surface was scrubbed with a cleaning agent, but we found a spot of blood ... right there. (She points to the spot of blood on the wood.) Martin Sidley: You mean, you ripped up my damn floor. What is going on here? Duane McWane: As soon as this is over, I intend to file an emergency motion to limit the scope or your warrant. I also intend to file a motion in limine to exclude this evidence, which was illegally seized, in violation of my client's fourth amendment rights. Catherine: This house was processed in accordance with CSI protocol, but do what you have to do. Martin Sidley: You've been coming at me since day one, and I'm starting to resent it. Duane McWane: Martin ... Martin Sidley: You have a problem with me because I appreciate younger women? I had nothing to do with that girl's disappearance. You want to come after me? You're going to regret it. Catherine: Your client has a bit of a temper. Duane McWane: Well, if you don't have any questions pertaining to the dead body in his chimney, we're done here. [OBSERVATION ROOM] (Nick watches as Duane McWane gets to his feet. Catherine holds up a hand.) Catherine: Sit down. Please. (Catherine turns to the window and nods. Nick leaves the observation room.) [INTERVIEW ROOM] (Nick walks into the room.) Catherine: Gentlemen, this is Nick Stokes. He's a colleague of mine. We found identification on the decedent in the chimney. Nick: A gym card. Actually, it was found in his pocket. The Crime Lab restored the charred image, but we couldn't get a name. We we're hoping you could help make a positive ID. (Nick puts the photo on the table. Martin looks at his lawyer. Duane McWane nods.) (He looks at the photo.) Martin Sidley: This belonged to the person in my chimney? Nick: Yes, sir. You recognize him? Martin Sidley: Well, this is-this is Tad. This is my son. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Dr. Robbins goes over the body with Nick.) Nick: Let me guess: He burned to death. Robbins: I can't confirm COD. Nick: Come on, Doc, this isn't a hard one. Robbins: His bones are fractured; check out the femur. Nick: It's not uncommon to find bone fractures in fire victims. (Quick CGI EFX: The bones are on fire, crackle and break.) Nick: (V.O.) The body produces heat, causing the long bones to contract and fracture. (End of CGI EFX.) Robbins: Well, that's right, but check out the chips in the skull. Nick: Bone chipping is also a symptom of extreme heat. (Quick CGI EFX: The skull burns and the bones chip away.) Robbins: (V.O.) Very good. So, if we didn't know better, fire could be the cause of death. (End of CGI EFX.) Nick: What are you getting at? Robbins: You see the blood spot on the interior of the forehead? Nick: Yeah ... Robbins: As far as I know, fire can't explain a subdural hematoma. Nick: No. No, it can't. Robbins: Our victim suffered blunt force trauma, prior to going up in flames. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB -- DAY] (Mandy Webster is processing the prints found on the Sidley rooftop.) (She compares the prints with Martin Sidley. There's NO MATCH.) (She compares the prints with Tad Sidley. There's NO MATCH.) (She runs the unidentified print through the database.) (Sara walks into the lab.) Sara: How are you doing on the prints? Mandy Webster: Well, all three prints from the chimney are consistent with each other. I compared them to the homeowner's prints and his son's prints; the work card's in the system. There's no match. I'm running the print through I-AFIS. Sara: What about the print from the chimney cap? Mandy Webster: There's not a match to the chimney prints, not a match to either Sidley. There's no hits on I-AFIS. I'm sorry. Sara: Not your fault. (The computer beeps and finds a match to: NAME: JONATHAN WAX (CASE #LVPD 01 07 21-1645 SC) DOB: 04-14-78 AGE: 27 HEIGHT: 5'10" WEIGHT: 163 LBS EYES: BROWN RACE: CAUCASIAN sx: MALE HAIR: BROWN LAST KNOWN ADDRESS: 2128 DESERT WAY HENDERSON, NV 89012 ALIAS: NONE CRIMINAL HISTORY: STATUE: NRS 200-366 ARREST: ATTEMPTED RAPE CONVICTIONS: SENTENCED 4 YEARS DISPOSITIONS: RELEASED OCTOBER 2005 ) Mandy Webster: At least you got yourself a match for the chimney prints -- a Jonathan Wax, from Henderson, served four years for attempted rape and he was released six months ago. Sara: Thank you. Mandy Webster: You're welcome. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Sara interviews Jonathan Wax.) Jonathan Wax: I served my time. What do you want with me now? Sara: "Attempted rape." What exactly happened? Jonathan Wax: Pepper spray. That stuff really stings. Sara: Uh, what can you tell me about, um, Tad Sidley? Jonathan Wax: (shakes his head) Who? (Sara puts the DMV license photo on the table for TAD SIDLEY 247 DUNPHY RD. LAS VEGAS, NV 89101 Jonathan Wax: Sorry. (Sara pushes the photo of the burned corpse across the table toward him to look at.) Sara: Maybe you remember him a little more like this? (He looks at the photo.) Jonathan Wax: (chuckles) Holy mother ... Sara: He was murdered, set on fire, stuffed in a chimney, and the only prints on the chimney are yours. Jonathan Wax: You said the last name was Sidley? Sara: Uh-huh. Jonathan Wax: Well, I worked a Sidley place out near Lake Mead, right? Sara: What were you doing on the roof? Jonathan Wax: That's what I do -- Chad's Chimney Sweeps. I clean fireplaces and chimneys. I was out at that Sidley place about a month ago. You can call Chad. I remember that place. Man, that guy had one big-ass chimney. Sara: I don't suppose you saw a body while you were there? Jonathan Wax: Look, I may be an ex-con, but even I would've dialed 9-1-1. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Conrad Ecklie is talking with someone in the hallway when Catherine turns the corner. He sees her and stops her.) Conrad Ecklie: Catherine. (to the man he's talking with) Excuse me. (They continue down the hall together.) Conrad Ecklie: I just got a call from the DA about you. Martin Sidley's attorney filed a motion to suppress. Catherine: Oh, it's just posturing. There's no way that our search violated his rights. Conrad Ecklie: Fortunately, the judge agreed with you. Catherine: Good. Conrad Ecklie: But ... we have been warned: Future searches of the residence are limited to areas specifically pertaining to the case at hand. And I think it's best if neither you nor Warrick went back to the house. Catherine: Well, hopefully, we have to. (Warrick catches Catherine in the hallway with Ecklie.) Warrick: Hey. I was able to get in touch with Caroline's father. He's on his way back to his house to pick up his daughter's toiletries, and he'll meet us back here. Catherine: We're trying to get a DNA sample from Caroline's personal effects and compare it to a blood drop that was on the living room steps. Warrick: Incidentally, I was able to speak with someone at WLVU. Tad Sidley was a student there, with the roommate. Now, Doc Robbins told me the kid had been dead for at least two weeks. I'd be interested in talking to the roommate to find out why no one reported him missing. Catherine: Absolutely. Warrick: Come with? Catherine: Yeah. (Warrick and Catherine leave.) Conrad Ecklie: (calls out) Okay, guys, good luck. Catherine: Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WLVU CAMPUS - HALLWAY/DORM ROOM #62 -- DAY] (Catherine and Warrick walk up to Tad Sidley's dorm room. They knock on the door and the roommate answers.) Roommate: Can I help you? Catherine: This is Tad Sidley's dorm room, right? Roommate: Yeah ... look, whatever he did, I wasn't involved. Warrick: When was the last time you saw him? Roommate: I-I don't know. A couple weeks ago. Catherine: And why didn't you report him missing? Roommate: Look, Tad's a third-year freshman. Or as he likes to call it, "a three-peater." He disappears for weeks at a time. (rolls his eyes) What happened to him? Catherine: He was murdered. May we come in? (He nods and they enter the room.) Catherine: Were you and Tad good friends? Roommate: No, not exactly. Catherine: Why not? Roommate: Look, I study my ass off. When Tad's here, he's baked for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He's distracting. He blares his music. He invites his friends over to party. He is ... or was ... inconsiderate. Fortunately, he wasn't around much. Catherine: Any idea who killed him? Roommate: Look, the guy was a pain in my ass, but everybody else seemed to love him. His dad's totally loaded, and tad was pretty generous. Warrick: (interrupts) Catherine ... (He finds a yellow post-it on the bulletin board for DON FITZGIBBONS Warrick: Don Fitzgibbons and a phone number? Catherine: Caroline's dad. (to the roommate) What do you know about this? Roommate: I never noticed it. Warrick: You mind if I take it with me? Roommate: Go ahead; take whatever you want. Look, there's this rumor going around campus that if your roommate dies, you get an automatic 4.0 for the semester. You know, because of all of the traumatic stress. Who ... who should I talk to about that? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Hodges processes the plastic found on the Sidley roof. He removes it from the evidence bag. The label reads: CRIME SCENE SEARCH EVIDENCE REPORT NAME OF SUBJECT: JOHN DOE OFFENSE: LVPD 06 02 15 1713 DATE OF INCIDENT: 02-15-06 TIME: 21:14 Search Officer: S. SIDLE EVIDENCE DESCRIPTION: TRACE LOCATION: SIDLEY ROOF (Hodges removes the piece of plastic, cuts a small piece off it and sticks it to a slide. He puts it under the scope and looks at it.) (He gets an analysis of the material. He prints out the analysis.) (Sara walks in.) Hodges: Roof trace analysis. Afraid it's not going to be very helpful. Sara: Why? Hodges: Polyethylene plastic. Sara: Compounds used in about a million different products. Hodges: I hope that's not all you got. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - OFFICE -- DAY] (Catherine talks with Don Fitzgibbons.) Don Fitzgibbons: I don't understand. If you found blood in Sidley's house, why isn't he in jail? I mean, can't you at least hold him until you determine whether or not it's Caroline's? Catherine: That's not my decision to be made. Unfortunately, the DA feels that we need more. Don Fitzgibbons: (snorts) It's just like a year ago. It wasn't enough that I believed that Martin was sleeping with my daughter ... that she disappeared on the way to his house. Ms. Willows, the man paid her $800 for her photos and told her she had a great eye. (He gives the plastic bag to Catherine.) I brought her brushes and combs. Anything else I could find. Think you'll be able to get enough DNA off that stuff? Catherine: Oh, yes, absolutely. Don Fitzgibbons: I know the cops say that if you don't find them quickly, you don't usually find them alive. But every time the phone rings or there's a knock at the door, my first thought ... my first hope is that, uh ... it's Caroline. Catherine: Mr. Fitzgibbons, we found your name and number written on a post-it in Tad Sidley's dorm room. Can you explain how it got there? Don Fitzgibbons: When you guys were first investigating her disappearance, you couldn't get access to Sidley's place, so I appealed to his kid. (Quick flashback to: [INT. DORM ROOM-DAY] Don Fitzgibbons talks with Tad Sidley.) Tad Sidley: Okay, look, I may not like my old man, but he's not a killer. And if you think he is, go to the cops. Don Fitzgibbons: The cops can't get a warrant. I'm not saying he hurt Caroline, but maybe there's something in your house that will help me find her. Tad Sidley: I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I can't just ... Don Fitzgibbons: Look, maybe you could just talk to him. Convince him to let me take a look around the place. Tad Sidley: Look, I see my dad once a month... when I pick up my check. He's not going to listen to me. Don Fitzgibbons: All right, if you change your mind, give me a call. Anytime. (Don Fitzgibbons writes down his name and number on a post-it, then places it on the bulletin board. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Don Fitzgibbons: Unfortunately, I never heard from him. Ms. Willows ... if the blood you found matches my daughter's DNA, tell me that the bstrd's going to jail ... for the rest of his life. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Wendy Simms talks with Catherine and Warrick as they walk through the hallway.) Wendy Simms: So the DNA I extracted from the hair on Caroline's brush is consistent with the blood found on the wood floor. Warrick: Thank you. Case closed. Catherine: Now wait a minute. We only found a single drop of blood. No doubt Sidley's attorney will argue that Caroline may have cut herself. He already admitted that she was in his house. Warrick: Oh, come on, you saw the amount of fluorescence on that floor. You don't use a bucket of bleach to clean up a paper cut. Catherine: Yeah, and you don't get a murder conviction off of a single drop of a victim's blood. Wendy Simms: So you need to find the body. Catherine: That would certainly help. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE -- DAY] (Grissom is in his office looking at Tad Sidley's DMV photo in one hand and a photo of the burned body in his other. Sofia Curtis walks in.) Sofia Curtis: Sorry to interrupt. As per protocol, Metro flagged Tad Sidley's credit cards. A couple of hours ago someone used his AMEX to purchase gas in Seven Hills. Grissom: Is that someone in custody? Sofia Curtis: Unfortunately, the Gas and Go cashier ran the card manually. So by the time the credit card company flagged the purchase, the guy had taken off. But the station has video surveillance and the cashier claims he could ID him. Grissom: Have you told Nick and Sara? Sofia Curtis: Nick's in the AV Lab now with the videotape and the cashier. Grissom: So the next time this someone uses the credit card ... Sofia Curtis: We're all over it. (Sofia leaves. Grissom gets up and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (Nick is going through the security video from the Gas and Go, while Larry, the cashier, stands next to him ready to ID the suspect.) Nick: You sure you remember this guy who stole Tad Sidley's credit card? Larry Smite: For sure. It was a platinum and the guy was like young. I mean, I couldn't even qualify for a VISA. (Grissom walks in.) Nick: Grissom, meet Larry. Larry's from the Gas and Go. Grissom: Thanks for coming in, Larry. Larry Smite: Oh, for sure. (They go back to watching the video on the monitors. He sees something.) Larry Smite: Wait. Stop ... stop the video. (Nick stops the video.) Larry Smite: Yeah, I remember that jacket and the blond hair. That's his sweet car right behind him. Lucky son of a bitch. I drive an '82 Buick. Grissom: Nick, try the unsharp mask. (Nick focuses in on the suspect in the video and zooms in. He's momentarily distracted when Larry starts hitting his hands together. The computer program adjusts the pixelation.) Larry Smite: Yeah, that's it. That's him. That's your dude. Grissom: That's Tad Sidley. Larry Smite: That was the name on the credit card. Grissom: Is this video from today? Nick: Yeah, I downloaded it myself. Grissom: Well, if that's Tad Sidley, who's in the morgue? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAYOUT ROOM -- DAY] (Sara is in the layout room, the photos of both cases spread out on the table in front of her. Catherine walks in.) Catherine: Hey. Thanks for your help. Sara: No problem. I laid out the photos and sketches. Catherine: Thank you. Sara: What are you looking for exactly? Catherine: When we showed up at the scene a year ago, Sidley wouldn't let us into his house. I'm guessing because the body was still inside. Sara: He knew you'd detect the smell. Catherine: Kind of like "Telltale Heart." Sara: Edgar Allan Poe. Catherine: Guy commits a murder and buries the body under the floorboards of his house. Sara: Catherine, I got to tell you, I don't see anything probative. Willows: Are both these sketches drawn to the same scale? Sara: Yeah, half inch equals a foot. (She puts the two sketches over each other.) Catherine: All right ... the attic is above the living room. They both share the same chimney. Sara: Yeah? What are you thinking? Catherine: The east wall of the house is 17 feet from the chimney in the living room. But that same east wall is only 14 feet from the chimney in the attic. When you retrieved the body, did you excavate the entire chimney? Sara: No. We just removed the bricks from the west-facing side. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - ATTIC -- DAY] (Sara and Catherine are in the attic. Sara is drilling through the bricked-up chimney.) Catherine: There's no question that somebody extended the brick exterior of this chimney. There's a slight color disparity between the old and the new bricks. (Sara breaks through the bricks and pulls them out.) Sara: It's hollow. There's no clay backing. This is just a facade. (She clears a hole in the chimney and stops.) Sara: Catherine ... we found her. (Catherine looks at the petrified body inside.) Sara: She was still bleeding when she was brought here. Catherine: Which means that her heart was probably still beating. Sara: This isn't the "Telltale Heart," it's the "Cask of Amontillado." She was sealed into a wall and left to die. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. STREET -- NIGHT] (Officer Clark reports to Sofia and they both walk over to Tad Sidley. ) Sofia Curtis: I just got your page. Did he stick around? Officer Clark: Yeah, we explained the situation, and he thinks it's hilarious. Sofia Curtis: Tad, Detective Curtis. I'm glad to see you're okay. Tad Sidley: (chuckles) Yeah, me, too. Uh, he said you wanted to talk to me? Sofia Curtis: Yeah. Where have you been for the past few weeks? Tad Sidley: Tijuana, L.A., quick stop in Santa Barbara. Just got back this morning. Sofia Curtis: Any idea how your gym membership got into a dead man's pocket? ( Chuckles ) Tad Sidley: No. I'm sorry, I didn't even know it was missing. I'm-I'm not exactly big on the weights, you know? Look, uh ... I'm late for a movie. You mind if I get out of here? Sofia Curtis: Sure. I'd just like to get your cell phone number. Tad Sidley: Gonna ask me out? Sofia Curtis: It's just in case I have any further questions. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Robbins reports his findings to Catherine.) Robbins: Caroline did not go gently. Catherine: Defensive marks? (He shows her the marks on the arm.) Robbins: Ten on her right forearm. (Quick flash to: Caroline screams as she's being attacked by someone with a knife. End of flash.) Robbins: Another three on the left. (Quick flash to: Caroline screams as she's being attacked by someone with a knife. End of flash.) Robbins: And several more on the palms. (Quick flash to: Caroline screams as she's being attacked by someone with a knife. End of flash.) Robbins: Catherine, there are tears on her labia and hymen. Too much time's passed to check for semen, but she was raped. Catherine: We found a potential blood pool in the living room and another much more substantial one in the attic -- is that consistent with your findings? Robbins: Yeah. Caroline was stabbed four times: twice to the abdomen, one to the spleen, one to the intercostal artery. No vital organs were penetrated, which means she would have bled to death slowly. Catherine: Probably stabbed in the living room and then moved to the attic where she continued to bleed until she died. (Grissom walks in.) Grissom: Is the chimney guy still in your drawer? Robbins: Yeah, right over there. (Grissom opens the drawer.) Catherine: What's going on? Grissom: Tad Sidley is alive. We assumed that this guy was Tad, based on a gym membership card we found on his body -- we were wrong. This guy is now a John Doe. Catherine: Does his father know? Grissom: Not yet. Catherine: Well, I'm on my way to the PD to meet up with him and his lawyer -- I'll give him the good news. (Catherine leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (Catherine interviews Martin Sidley in the presence of his lawyer, Duane McWane.) Martin Sidley: Like I've already told you, Caroline and I were friends. Now, if you keep this up, I'm gonna file a harassment charge against you personally. Duane McWane: Ms. Willows, on the phone you said that you had new information regarding my client's son? Catherine: Yes, I will get to that. But first I wanted to let both of you know that Caroline's body was recovered in Mr. Sidley's attic. Martin Sidley: What? Catherine: The coroner confirmed that she was raped, stabbed and bled to death. Duane McWane: Wait a minute. You searched the house again? Ms. Willows, I thought that the judge was perfectly clear. Catherine: I searched the chimney, specifically, in accordance with the original warrant and subsequent limitation. Martin Sidley: I didn't do it, I swear. Catherine: You live alone, Mr. Sidley ... and you have no idea how her body got bricked into your attic? Oh, come on. What happened? Did she say no one too many times? Duane McWane: Ms. Willows, you are way over the line. Catherine: If you didn't kill her, Mr. Sidley, then tell me, is there anyone else who had access to your house? Who else could have raped Caroline under your roof? Martin Sidley: I know what happened. Duane McWane: Martin ... Martin Sidley: No. I've been covering too long. I need to tell the truth. I was out of town, I came home early. I heard noise coming from the attic. (Quick flashback to: [INT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - ATTIC - DAY] Martin Sidley walks into the attic and finds Tad bricking up the chimney.) Martin Sidley: (V.O.) He told me that they'd been seeing each other... Martin Sidley: What's going on? Tad Sidley: Dad ... Martin Sidley: ... that they'd gotten into a fight, and he raped and killed her. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Martin Sidley: I should have told the police, but ... she was already dead. He's my son. I wanted to protect him. I didn't know what else to do. He's been out of cont-- [OBSERVATION ROOM] (Tad Sidley is in the observation watching the interview. He sniffles.) Tad Sidley: (quietly) Son of a bitch. (He turns to look at Sofia and Warrick.) Tad Sidley: He's lying. Sofia Curtis: Do you want to tell us what actually happened? Tad Sidley: (shakes his head) I have no idea what really happened. I met her once ... at the house. A month or so later, I see her on the news -- she's missing. I can tell you that for two weeks after that, he wouldn't let me anywhere near the house. Claimed that he was painting, and he didn't want me breathing in the fumes. (Quick flashback to: [INT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - ATTIC - DAY] Martin Sidley is bricking up the chimney in the attic. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Tad Sidley: He killed her. I'm sure of it. Warrick: Well, if you'd like to have a word with your old man, I'd say now would be the time. (Tad quickly exits the observation room.) [INTERVIEW ROOM] (Tad enters the interview.) Tad Sidley: Hi, Dad. I heard everything. (He stands up.) Martin Sidley: Tad ... son, you're ... Tad Sidley: Yeah. I'm not dead. You're dead to me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY] (Catherine is in the hallway when her phone rings.) Catherine: (to phone) This is Catherine. INTERCUT WITH: [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB - DAY] (Sara is on the phone.) Sara: (to phone) Hey, Cat, when you're done at the PD, can you head over to the Print Lab? There's something you're gonna want to see. Catherine: I'm on my way. FLASH TO: [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) -- NIGHT] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Sara is in the Print Lab.) Sara: Hi. Catherine: Hi. (Catherine walks in.) Sara: I know why a John Doe was stuffed down the Sidley's chimney. When you and Warrick were working that missing person's case, you couldn't get a warrant, and Martin wouldn't let you in, right? Catherine: Right. Sara: Don Fitzgibbons tried to gain access to the house through the son ... Catherine: But the son wouldn't cooperate. Sara: I think he knew that if the house became a crime scene, CSI could get in there. Catherine: Well, it's a logical theory, but to kill someone and stuff him in a chimney in hopes of getting information on your missing daughter ... (Sara pulls up the prints.) Sara: Check out the screen. On the left is an unknown fingerprint I lifted off the chimney cap. On the right is a partial I lifted off of Don Fitzgibbons' post-it you took out of Tad's dorm room. Now, the print on the post-it is only a partial, but it's a match to the chimney cap. (She compares the prints. They match.) Sara: I also found trace evidence on the roof. Polyethylene plastic. Don Fitzgibbons works at Desert Palms Hospital. I just got off the phone with the administrator. The hospital's body bags are made out of ... Catherine: Polyethylene plastic? Sara: Don Fitzgibbons has access to those body bags. (Quick flashback to: [EXT. SIDLEY RESIDENCE - ROOFTOP - NIGHT] Don Fitzgibbons is up on the roof and pulls the body in the body bag up to the chimney. He pulls the body bag and snags it on the roofing. A piece is left behind.) (He climbs up the chimney and unscrews the chimney cap. He takes the body out of the bag and dumps it into the chimney.) END OF FLASHBACK CUT TO: [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Catherine talks with Don Fitzgibbons.) Don Fitzgibbons: It's true. All of it. You gonna arrest me? Catherine: You just admitted to murder; I think you know the answer. Don Fitzgibbons: Hold on. I didn't kill anyone. Catherine: And the body in the chimney? Don Fitzgibbons: (sighs) I took the body from Desert Palms Hospital, from the morgue. He was already dead, a John Doe. Auto accident in a stolen vehicle. Car exploded, he was burned beyond recognition. Ms. Willows, I stole a dead body and I trespassed, but that's it. Catherine: And Tad Sidley's ID? Did you place the gym card on the body? Don Fitzgibbons: You're a mother, right? Catherine: Yes. Don Fitzgibbons: Why do you think I did it? Catherine: You wanted Martin Sidley to know what it's like to lose a child. Don Fitzgibbons: (nods) When I was in Tad's dorm room, I snagged it. I scorched the surface of the card to make it look like it belonged to the John Doe ... to make Martin believe that it was his son. I'd hoped that you'd be able to restore the image. (crying) Look ... I wish I could say that I was sorry for the trouble I've put you through, or the-the petty crimes that I've committed, but I didn't hurt anyone ... and Martin Sidley is behind bars, and my daughter's getting her funeral. And that's all I wanted. Catherine: I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we couldn't find your daughter without your help. (He nods.)	Plan: A: a body; Q: What is found badly burned in a chimney? A: the house's owner; Q: Who do Catherine and Warrick recall as a suspect in an unsolved murder case a year earlier? A: the house; Q: What do Catherine and Warrick inspect? A: protocol; Q: What did Catherine and Warrick violate by reopening the case? A: two; Q: How many detectives use the burned victim as an excuse to re-open a case? A: an excuse; Q: What do Catherine and Warrick use the investigation of the burned victim as? Summary: When a body is found badly burned in a chimney, Catherine and Warrick recall the house's owner as a suspect in an unsolved murder case a year earlier. Against protocol, the two then use the investigation of the burned victim as an excuse to re-open their case and inspect the house.
(Denpasar. Dixon looks at Sydney. Up on the balcony, Vaughn orders the CIA shooter standing next to him.) VAUGHN: Take position over there! But cover fire only! I don't want Bristow hurt! (Vaughn runs toward the meeting room. The guard takes position on a grassy hill behind them, gun aimed. Inside the room, Dixon aims his gun at Sydney who tries to look away. From up above, Vaughn runs up and throws a grenade/explosive down. It explodes. Dixon takes cover behind a chair. Sark and Sydney fall to the ground. The CIA shooter starts shooting. Dixon's man starts shooting back.) SYDNEY: I couldn't make the switch! Sark's got the real ampule! (Sark runs out. Vaughn is already on his tail.) VAUGHN: I'm on him! Head to the extraction point! (Sydney runs out. Dixon is shooting at the CIA guy in the bushes. He looks at his guard.) DIXON: Cover me! (Dixon runs after her. Sark runs through the crowd, pushing people out of his way. Vaughn is running parallel to him from up above in the stands. Sydney runs. Dixon runs after her. She gets to the gate.) DIXON: Freeze! Turn around! Hands on your head! (Sark runs and gets to a gate. Vaughn runs and jumps down to ground level. He grabs Sark and smacks his head against the gate, knocking him out. Back at the other exit, Sydney has her hands up.) DIXON: I don't want to hurt you. (Sydney kicks his gun away and kicks him in the stomach. At the other exit, Vaughn handcuffs an unconscious Sark to the gate.) VAUGHN: Freelancer, are you at the extraction point yet? (Sydney kicks Dixon. He grabs her leg and flips her to the ground. Vaughn goes through Sark's jacket and finds the ampule.) VAUGHN: Eagle Eye, I got the ampule! (Back in LA in a field ops office, Weiss watches on a monitor.) WEISS: I got you five by-- VAUGHN: I need a twenty on Freelancer! WEISS: You cannot leave Sark until he's secured! VAUGHN: Dammit, where is she! (Sydney jumps up and kicks Dixon in the stomach. They exchange punches and then Sydney grabs Dixon's arm and twists it back. With his other hand he takes a knife from his sock and reaches back. He cuts Sydney's right upper arm. He pushes her back against the gate. She falls. He grabs his gun and points it at her. She looks at the blood on her arm. He sees it. Vaughn come up from behind and knocks Dixon on his head. He falls to the ground.) VAUGHN: Go! (Sydney appears to be in shock.) VAUGHN: Go! (She runs in one direction to the extraction point while Vaughn takes off in the other. He runs up to the Sark gate. The handcuffs are dangling from the gate door. Sark's gone.) (In Los Angeles, a payphone rings. Will picks it up.) WILL: Hello? DEEP THROAT: You said you were back on the story. Why haven't you published? WILL: I need something from you. (In a garage, Will sits in Jack's car, talking.) JACK: You're going to tell your contact you want a meeting. A meeting to take place at your contact's discretion. WILL: Why would he lead me to you knowing that you'd want to flush him out? JACK: He only told you my name so you would realize that my threat to you was a bluff. That I would never hurt Sydney, even if you continue your investigation. I didn't expect you'd have the guts to contact me. WILL: Oh, well, I'll assume that's a compliment. JACK: When you ask for the meeting, your contact will refuse. WILL: What do I say? JACK: You'll say... (Payphone.) WILL: I know something you'll be interested in... I know about the circumference. (Garage.) WILL: Okay, what the hell's the circumference? JACK: It's not your concern. WILL: I gotta know what I'm talking about. JACK: No, you don't. Just tell him if he wants to know more, he'll have to meet. (Payphone.) WILL: Look, just meet with me or find somebody else because I tell ya, I'm just sick of all this cloak and dagger crap. DEEP THROAT: Very well, Mr. Tippin. You'll be contacted with instructions. (The line goes dead.) (In London, the Alliance meets.) RAMOND: I'm sure I speak for our distinguished friend from Los Angeles when I say how much we appreciate your coming on such short notice. I know it reflects your understanding that the business before us today is as difficult as it is vital to the very survival of our organization. I understand you have some prepared remarks. Please. SLOANE: Thank you, Ramond. Before I begin, should we wait until all the other members have arrived? RAMOND: That won't be necessary. SLOANE: I feel rather awkward sitting here asking you to allow my wife to die of cancer. CHRISTOPHE: Arvin, the agreement is simple. People with any unauthorized information regarding SD-6, or any SD cell, must be eliminated. SLOANE: My wife is being eliminated. By cancer. And the pending bone marrow biopsy report will merely inform us as to the number of days she has left. Days she will spend in an SD-6 hospital where information can be contained. Should you choose to intervene, naturally I'll be forced to resign. Something I believe you should factor into your decision. Now... in the past twelve years, SD-6 has made for the Alliance over four hundred million dollars in arms sales alone. Plus another three hundred million from various transactions with Anini Hassan. In addition, we have acquired more Rambaldi artifacts than all the other SD cells combined. RAMOND: Your service to the Alliance is unquestioned. With one exception. We know you had our colleague Jean Briault assassinated. SLOANE: You know about Poole, don't you? That's why he's not here. You know that Khasinau had him in his pocket! RAMOND: Our former colleague has, under duress, acknowledged his connection with Mr. Khasinau and his manipulation of you that led to Briault's unfortunate passing. Faced with a breach of this magnitude, we have reevaulated our position regarding peaceful coexistence with Khasinau. SLOANE: I am relieved. And gratified. He is an enemy worthy of our combined resources. CHRISTOPHE: You must have a vision of how all this is supposed to play out. I am assuming that your plan ends in assassination? SLOANE: Yes, that's right. Assassination of Khasinau. CHRISTOPHE: Then your plan must change. If we abduct Khasinau or worst yet kill him, most certainly we will never have an opportunity to learn what it is he is after, or how he works, or with whom. Put away your need for revenge. Find out what you can. Bring us substantial intel and we will take your wife's situation under advisement. (SD-6. Sydney walks in and slowly approaches Dixon who is at his desk.) SYDNEY: Hey. You miss me? DIXON: So, how was uh... SYDNEY: Palm Springs. Perfect. DIXON: Right, right. The desert. SYDNEY: I actually read a book. DIXON: You didn't go with anyone? SYDNEY: I asked Will and Francie but they both had work. It was good, actually, being alone. I needed time to decompress. DIXON: Mmm. We've reacquired Khasinau's trail. SYDNEY: We have? DIXON: Mm-hmm. We apprehended Sark in Denpasar. Turns out there was a second ampule. We intercepted a communique detailing Sark's plan to buy it from a splinter group of the Raslak jihad. SYDNEY: Did you get the ampule? DIXON: No. Sark didn't have it on him. SYDNEY: Hmm. (Dixon stares at her suspciously.) SYDNEY: I'm going to read the op tech report. Catch up on what I missed. (She starts walking away.) DIXON: Sydney. (She turns.) DIXON: For the record, I did miss you. (Sydney smiles widely. Another agent walks by and bumps into her right side. Because of the cut on her arm, Sydney gasps in pain and keeps walking. Dixon watches her and seems to realize that he was the one who cut her arm in Denpasar.) (Morning. Francie is about to leave the house. She opens the door and sees Jack standing there.) FRANCIE: Oh. Mr. Bristow. JACK: Good morning, Francie. I'm just here to give Sydney a ride to work. FRANCIE: Sure, come on in. I've got to go. Bye. SYDNEY: Bye, Francie! (Francie leaves. In the kitchen...) JACK: Kretchmer briefed me on Denpasar. It was a sloppy operation. Your pursuit of your mother is clouding your judgement. You can't afford to continue and at the moment, I can't protect you. I haven't regained Sloane's trust. He still hasn't reinstated me to active duty. I'm not even privy to his briefings. SYDNEY: Then you haven't heard that SD-6 got Sark. (Interrogation room at SD-6. Sark sits behind a table, handcuffed to a chair. Sloane enters.) SLOANE: While this might not seem like a particularly good day for you, you'd be surprised. We have people here trained in torture and they are so good at what they do, I sometimes take them for granted. But I'm not in the mood for torture. No. There's been enough torture lately. (sits down) We've been somewhat curious about your employer... Alexander Khasinau. SARK: Well... you're in good company. SLOANE: Yes. But we have you. SARK: Indeed. SLOANE: I need to find your employer. SARK: You raise an interesting point. Given my current state of affairs, it doesn't seem as if my affiliation with Mr. Khasinau is long for this earth. SLOANE: We both know you're a very clever young man so we don't need to play games. You're valuable to me. You can help me find Khasinau. I'm valuable to you... obviously. SARK: I understand I am in no position to demand anything, but for the record, I'm far more comfortable talking over a glass of Chateau Petreuse... '82. (Sydney, Francie and Will watch a soap opera and eat lunch at Sydney and Francie's. Will is off in his own world while Sydney and Francie face the television.) SYDNEY: Why does that guy have such a guilty look on his face? FRANCIE: Yesterday Ginger told Rod that Gavin was Ruby's pimp but Rod didn't even know that Ruby was a prostitute. SYDNEY: Who's Gavin? FRANCIE: Ruby's father. SYDNEY: Eew. FRANCIE: Right. SYDNEY: Will? WILL: Huh? Hi. Oh, what's, uh, what happened to Ruby's dad? FRANCIE: Where are you? (Will's cell rings.) WILL: I'm sorry. I just got this work thing... hello? (He walks away to have some privacy.) DEEP THROAT: Listen carefully, Mr. Tippin. I'm about to give you instructions on where to meet. They must be followed to the letter. (Vaughn's office at the CIA. Weiss enters and closes the door behind him.) WEISS: Guess who just tore me a new one. Devlin. Now ask me why. VAUGHN: Why? WEISS: Because I took a bullet for you today. They want to know why you left Sark when he wasn't secured yet. I said I told you I misread the feed from the satellite. I thought the recovery team was nearby. VAUGHN: Thank you. WEISS: I lied to save your ass. VAUGHN: You didn't have to do that. WEISS: No, that's what partners do for each other. VAUGHN: I said thanks. WEISS: I don't want your thanks. I want it to stop. VAUGHN: Look, Sydney's my responsibility-- WEISS: Mike, I'm not going to trivialize your relationship with her by calling it a crush-- VAUGHN: A crush? WEISS: But whatever it is, it's starting to affect me and if that sounds selfish to you, I was hoping to retire fully vested. I know you genuinely care for her. I do, too. But there is a line that we have been sworn not to cross. We're about a mile past that. VAUGHN: I don't know how to be Sydney's handler without making it personal. WEISS: Figure out a way. (In the interrogation room, Sloane still sits across from Sark. An agent pours wine into a second glass and then leaves.) SARK: I must admit, I was only half-serious when I asked for the Petreuse. I just assumed after what Khasinau has done -- sending men into this facility, murdering some of your men -- that, regardless of what I said, you'd split my belly with a hunting knife. SLOANE: Do you think that's the kind of activity the CIA engages in? SARK: Not the CIA. SLOANE: Khasinau sent you to Moscow to negotiate with K-Directorate. He trusts you. You know things. SARK: I suppose I better know things. However, to be clear, my employer hardly tells me everything. (Sloane picks up his wine glass and swirls the liquid around. He brings it up to his face and sniffs it.) SLOANE: Mmm. (Then he takes a long drink. Sark watches in envy. Sloane slurps it down.) SLOANE: We will collaborate, you and I. You will lead me to Khasinau. Understood? SARK: May I? (Sloane stands up with the other glass and holds it in front of Sark.) SLOANE: Understood? SARK: Understood. (Sloane brings it up to Sark's lips and lets him drink all of it.) (Conference room with Sloane, Sydney, Dixon and Marshall.) SLOANE: As it turns out, our Mr. Sark is a very cooperative young man. We have received independent confirmation for the intel he's provided thus far. It seems that Mr. Sark's loyalty to Khasinau disappeared the moment he was kidnapped. DIXON: So, what's the move? SLOANE: Sark wasn't scheduled to make contact with Khasinau until Thursday night. They've arranged to meet at a dinner club in Paris that Khasinau owns. That's where you're going. SYDNEY: Is this an abduction? SLOANE: No. Khasinau is expecting the ampule. According to Sark, Khasinau needs it -- the solution in it -- in order to read a Rambaldi document that they believe contains text written in Rambaldi's now famous invisible ink. This Rambaldi page will be at the Paris location. Sark will be provided with a conterfeit ampule which he will pass on to Khasinau. Your job is to steal this Rambaldi page from his office and replace it with a counterfeit. SYDNEY: Wait a minute. I don't understand. We've been hunting Khasinau for months-- SLOANE: Sydney, I know you have a personal stake in this-- SYDNEY: We're going to be in the same room as the guy and you want us to go after a document? This is ridiculous. Let's just go after the son of a bitch. SLOANE: Sydney, no one wants Khasinau more than I do. No one. Sark has provided us with detailed plans of the club -- its operation and location and the vault. Luckily, an employee of the club is about to call in sick. It's been arranged for you to take her place. Marshall will provide you with the op tech. (Sloane leaves. Marshall stands and looks at Sydney.) MARSHALL: Um... uh, how's your... your voice? SYDNEY: Why? (Under a bridge, Will drives up where Jack is waiting by his car. Will gets out.) WILL: I was contacted. JACK: Were you followed? WILL: No. JACK: Tell me exactly what precautions you took. WILL: I did what you told me. I didn't use my blinkers, I avoided the inner lanes, I circled the block every three miles. JACK: What did your contact say? WILL: He wants to meet. JACK: Good. You'll be picked up by men in a van. They'll be armed. (Will swallows. He looks like he's really not ready for this, and kinda like he might be sick on Jack's shoes.) WILL: Okay. JACK: You'll be blindfolded and taken to another location. WILL: Okay. I know what that feels like. JACK: But they will not hurt you. They need you. WILL: And they're going to take me to Deep Throat. JACK: Or someone who works for him. (Jack reaches inside his car and gives Will a leather jacket.) JACK: There's a miniature transmitter sewn in the lining. WILL: What if they frisk me? JACK: It's too small to be detected. What are the terms? WILL: Terms? JACK: Time, place, oral or visual tell? WILL: There's a street corner. I'm supposed to be reading the business section of a local paper. JACK: When? WILL: Tomorrow. Seven o'clock. JACK: Where? WILL: Paris. (Self-storage. Vaughn waits. Sydney walks in.) SYDNEY: Please tell me that my countermission is to grab Khasinau. VAUGHN: It's not. SYDNEY: Well, it should be. I'm going to be this close to him and nobody wants me to take him into custody. VAUGHN: SD-6 must not ge the Rambaldi document. Now, in transit to your extraction point, you'll replace what Dixon took from the vault with this. SYDNEY: That's it? Just switch the pages? VAUGHN: Yes. These are counterfeit. Do you have any questions about the mission? (Sydney looks at him, surprised at how serious he's being.) SYDNEY: No, I do not. Vaughn... what's going on? VAUGHN: Nothing. Do you have any questions? SYDNEY: Yes. I want to know what's going on with you. You're acting not like yourself. VAUGHN: I'm fine. But I should go. Good luck. SYDNEY: Thanks... (He leaves.) (In Emily's hospital room, Sloane wrings out a cloth from a basin.) EMILY: I couldn't go through this without you... (Sloane sits on the edge of her bed and dabs her forehead with the cloth.) SLOANE: Dr. Levin and I discussed your pain management. (She covers his hand with hers.) EMILY: Arvin... I don't want to be here in the hospital when-- (Sloane tries to get up, to not talk about it, but she holds him down.) EMILY: I want to be home. Promise me. SLOANE: I promise. (In Paris, at the club, Dixon and Sydney walk up to the guard. Sydney's wearing a shoulder-length red wig while Dixon's in a suit.) DIXON: Bonsoir. GUARD: Bonsoir. (Dixon talks to the guard in French. He tells the guard that at eight o'clock Sydney's due to give a performance inside and that he's her manager. He raises his arms for the metal detector. It squeals. Dixon takes out a cell from his pocket.) DIXON: C'est mon telephone. GUARD: Tres bien. Madame? (She raises her arms. The detector squeals. Sydney dramatically shows a ring that's on her finger.) (Flashback to the conference room. Marshall holds up the ring.) MARSHALL: Or you could say it's a friendship ring. Something to signify platonic intimacy between two girls, or a guy and a girl. Which a lot of people say is impossible, that a guy and a girl can--but we're friends. (Sydney looks up.) MARSHALL: Right? Okay, this actually is a cardiac event recorder. Now Khasinau's vault uses biometric access control. No code, no key, nothing. So this will detect heartbeat signatures. In Khasinau's case, a very unique one because this guy suffers from atrial fibrillation. Now what you want to do is kind of put this on or, you know, on top of his thorax or anywhere that you might be a pulse and then it will transfer the ECG data to Dixon's cell phone who will use that to fool the biometric sensor and uh, voila! Open sesame. (The guard lets Sydney and Dixon through. They thank him.) (In the club, Sark sits at a table in front of the stage and orders a bottle of wine from the waiter. My knowledge of French numbers is limited but I think it was an 1870 bottle. Or 1970. Or 1860.) (In Jack's car in Paris, Jack gives Will a bottle of red liquid.) JACK: Take this. WILL: What's this? JACK: A time-release methampethamine to counteract the effect of sodium pentothal. WILL: Sodium pentothal. Like a truth serum. They're going to give me that? JACK: I would. WILL: Great. JACK: Don't worry. I'll be monitoring you the whole time. (Will downs the entire vial.) JACK: You have your cover story straight? WILL: They're going to kill me, aren't they? JACK: If they wanted that, you would have been dead long ago. They need you because you can publish the story and because you know someone who knows about the circumference. I wouldn't let you do this if I thought the odds were in favor of your murder. WILL: Great. JACK: After tonight, I'll have a recording of your interrogator's voice. Possibly even of your contact's. If he's foolish enough to make an appearance. Either way, we have a lead to trace. (Will gets out of the car.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Khasinau walks in the club with a few of his men. He goes to Sark's table.) KHASINAU: Ah, Mr. Sark. SARK: Mr. Khasinau. (They hug.) KHASINAU: Ah. I heard you have some trouble in Denpasar. It's good to have you back safe. SARK: Thank you. KHASINAU: Please. (They sit.) KHASINAU: Can I see the ampule? (Sark takes it out of his jacket and puts it on the table.) KHASINAU: Shall we proceed to my office? (Flashback to the interrogation room and the wine.) SLOANE: Make sure you keep Khasinau at his table. And in case you have any thoughts of warning him, I would advise against it. We'll be taking precautions. (At the table.) SARK: I took the liberty of ordering. (The waiter comes with the wine.) KHASINAU: Yes. Okay, good idea. We celebrate your success first. (They pour the wine. The piano starts playing. Sark and Khasinau clink glasses and settle in to watch the lounge singer... who is Sydney. She sits on top of the piano and sings.) SYDNEY: You made me leave my happy home / You took my love and now you're gone / (Khasinau, pleased with the "scenery" raises his glass to Sydney.) SYDNEY: Since I fell for you / My life brings such misery and pain / (She starts walking off the stage, microphone in her hand.) SYDNEY: I know I'll never be the same / Since I fell for you / (Sydney walks to their table and runs her hand up Sark's chest and up his neck. He looks down. She moves to Khasinau.) SYDNEY: It's too bad and it's too sad / (She runs her ring along his chest where Khasinau's heart is. She smiles at him.) SYDNEY: But I'm in love with you... (Dixon's in the club near the office. He watches his cell phone face which reads 60%.) DIXON: Almost got it, Syd. A couple more seconds. (On the street corner, Will reads his paper. A man comes up to him from behind with a gun pointed at him. A van pulls up.) MAN: Get in the van, Mr. Tippin! (Will gets in.) (Office.) DIXON: All right, I got it. I'm heading to the vault, Syd! (Inside the club, Sydney keeps singing.) SYDNEY: I / Well I-I-I guess I'll never see the light / (Khasinau smiles at Sark sheepishly as Sydney walks back to the stage. Sark smiles at him.) SYDNEY: I get the blues almost every night / Since I fell for you. (She sits back on the piano. Khasinau raises his glass to her again and everyone claps.) (Dixon enters the office. The guard protests but Dixon stops him and punches and kicks him. The guard falls. He enters the office.) (In the club, Sydney bows a little. A man comes up to Khasinau.) GUY: We have the young man from Los Angeles. KHASINAU: Mm-hmm. Proceed. (In the back of the club, Sydney sees Will standing next to a guy who is holding his arm. They yank Will away. Sydney panics.) (Dixon enters the vault.) (Sydney talks on the microphone and apologizes, in French, to the audience. She says that there's some technical difficulties and asks for their patience and a couple of a minutes. She thanks them and leaves the stage.) (Signature confirmed, Dixon opens the vault and switches the pages.) DIXON: We're good, Syd. I'll meet you out back in two minutes. (In a room in the club, Will sits in a chair looking nervous. Three men are there with him. The lead guy takes a syringe.) LEAD: Your arm, please. WILL: So are you the person I've been talking to? (He rolls up his sleeve.) LEAD: He will be along shortly. First, we have questions. (Will watches as a needle is inserted into his arm.) WILL: What's that, like, sodium pentothal? LEAD: Yes. So that our conversation will go smoothly. (Jack listens from his car.) LEAD: Tell me, Mr. Tippin, how did you find out about the circumference? (Will's head sort of lolls a bit. He's reacting from the drugs.) WILL: I heard about it... LEAD: From who? (Jack listens.) LEAD: A name, Mr. Tippin! WILL: The name...? Oh-kayy... (His big eyes rest on the gun that one of the other guys is holding. Sydney then bursts in and takes down one guy. She runs to the other guy and kicks his hand. The gun flies in the air. She catches it and hits him with it. She takes down the third and stops. She looks at Will. He focuses on Sydney for a second and only then does it register.) WILL: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Oh, my God. What the hell is going on?! (Sydney runs up to him.) SYDNEY: How did you get here? Will! Listen to me, how did you get here?! WILL: What the hell is happening here? SYDNEY: Will! WILL: I was following a story... (In his car, Jack rips out his earphones angrily and drives off to extract them. In the room, Sydney hears a man yelling outside. She grabs Will.) SYDNEY: We have to go! Come on, come on! (In the club, Sydney and Will run up the stairs together.) SYDNEY: Dixon, I can't get to you! I'll see you at the extraction point! DIXON: Copy that. I'll meet you in thirty minutes. (Khasinau and Sark enter his office and see the guard down.) KHASINAU: Vitroly! (Syd and Will walk through the club. One of Khasinau's men see Will and points his gun at them.) GOON: STOP! (He starts shooting. Will and Sydney take cover behind the bar. The glass behind them shatters. Khasinau turns. Sydney covers Will's head. She sits up and shoots the goon with her gun. Will's eyes become the size of saucers as he not only sees Sydney shoot a gun with a pink wig no less, but he's being shot at.) SYDNEY: We're going out the front! (She stands up, Will at her side. The goon comes closer. She pushes a table at him which hits his knees. She throws a chair at him and kicks him. Another goon comes from behind and points a gun at Will's head.) GOON2: Get down! WILL: Okay, okay! (Will gets down on his knees. Sydney turns and sees this. She starts running. She jumps on the chair seat, then jumps on a table top. She flies in the air, turning and does a spinning kick at the goon's neck. The goon falls. Will just watches in shock.) SYDNEY: Come on! Let's go! (She takes Will and runs out. They climb the stairs. Another goon comes down the stairs. Sydney kicks his arm and throws him, head-first, into the railing on the opposite side. Sydney keeps running. Will stands there, staring at the fallen goon, horrified. Sydney runs back and yanks him by the lapels on his jacket.) SYDNEY: Will! (She yanks him out the club. Outside, Jack pulls up in his car.) JACK: Get in! WILL: Oh, Jack, thank God! SYDNEY: HE CAME HERE WITH YOU!? JACK: Get down! (He sees a goon behind them. Will and Sydney get down while Jack shoots the goon behind them. Will and Sydney climb in the car and they drive off. In the car, Will sits in the back. Jack talks on his transmitter.) JACK: It's Bristow. I need a full identity switch and cover escort, ETA, three minutes. SYDNEY: How could you bring him here! JACK: For his protection, we should not discuss this. SYDNEY: You call this PROTECTION? JACK: There are superceding considerations you do not understand here! WILL: Who the hell are you people? (They enter the safehouse. Jack walks up to another agent there.) JACK: This one has no field experience. He needs a makeover. (Will looks dazed.) SYDNEY: Go with him, it's okay! (The French agent starts taking Will up the stairs.) WILL: Which part of this is "okay"? (They get to the upstairs. Sydney stands down below at the foot of the flight, watching Will.) FRENCH AGENT: Take off your clothes! WILL: What? (Sydney stares. French agent closes the door.) FRENCH AGENT: Pay attention! (The agent turns to the other agents there and tells them, in French, that they don't have a lot of time and must hurry. Will starts stripping.) FRENCH AGENT: Your name is Patrice Lafont. You were born in Nantes. Where you lived until you were five. WILL: Okay. (At the foot of the steps, Sydney and Jack.) SYDNEY: How could you bring him into this? JACK: I didn't. He was looking into Danny's death. Sloane found out. I had to step in to keep security section from executing him. SYDNEY: Why didn't you tell me? JACK: Someone, possibly in intelligence, contacted him. Very highly placed. They've been steering him toward SD-6. They told him about me. That's why we're here. Pursuing a lead to track his source. SYDNEY: Well, no one from intelligence was in that club. The people who were interrogating Will, they work for Khasinau! JACK: (realizing) He wants to bring down SD-6. He tried and failed with Cole... articles in the press would be less painful but equally effective... SYDNEY: None of this changes the fact that you were using Will! JACK: He was already being used! It's no coincidence that out of all the reporters in the world, he was chosen. SYDNEY: What are you saying? JACK: For some reason, Khasinau is trying to expose us. (Will comes down the stairs in a black wig and different clothes. Sydney starts crying when seeing that her two worlds are coming together. Will looks at her for a moment. Both of them in ridiculous wigs. Sydney hugs him, crying.) SYDNEY: You cannot tell anyone about this. Not anyone. Do you promise me? WILL: Okay. (The French agents pull him away.) SYDNEY: I'll see you at home. (Back in LA, Sloane is getting some work done in his office and talking to Emily on speaker phone from her hospital bed.) EMILY: The Daniels are planning to fly out to visit next week. SLOANE: I think that's a very good idea, sweetheart. EMILY: Bold of me to make plans for next week, don't you think? SLOANE: Come on, honey. EMILY: Arvin, you have to keep your sense of humor. SLOANE: I suppose I do. (His phone beeps and shows that on the other line he has an incoming call from Alain Christophe.) EMILY: Honey, are you there? SLOANE: Yes, I am. Listen, darling, I need to take this phone call, all right? EMILY: See you soon, my love. SLOANE: Yes. Yes, I will. (Sloane hangs up with Emily and picks up the line.) SLOANE: Alain. CHRISTOPHE: Nice work in Paris. You have deprived Khasinau of a very valuable prize. SLOANE: Yes. Thank you. CHRISTOPHE: The Alliance has decided, due to your wife's illness, her condition... your request has been approved. Your wife will be spared. (At night, Dixon is in bed with his wife. She's sleeping, but he's wide awake. He stares at the ceiling and has a flashback to when he was shot in Argentina.) SYDNEY: Base ops, this is Freelancer! DIXON: Freelancer...? (Dixon rolls over in bed.) (The next day in the office, Dixon turns.) DIXON: Syd. (Sydney turns.) DIXON: I want to ask you something and I need you to give me a straight answer. SYDNEY: Of course. DIXON: I know your arm is hurt. How'd it happen? SYDNEY: I was hiking in the San Jacinto mountains above Palm Springs and I lost my footing on a scree. I suddenly found myself in this rock slide. I gashed it pretty bad. DIXON: Well, you should have told me. We're supposed to let each other know about our injuries. Full disclosure. SYDNEY: Full disclosure. (She smiles and turns. Sydney looks worried.) (Sloane's office. Sydney and Dixon stand before him.) SYDNEY: Sark must have tipped off Khasinau. It's the only way to explain why his men came after me. SLOANE: Well, that complication notwithstanding, the mission was a success. DIXON: But... we lost Sark. SLOANE: When Sark arrived at the club and Khasinau's team failed to detect a tracking device, he must have thought I was bluffing. Now, the truth is that I was prepared for such a possibility. (Flashback when Sloane gave Sark the glass of wine.) SLOANE: (voice over) When he asked for a bottle of wine, I had security section lace it with a nonlethal dose of a radioactive isotope. (Sark drinks up. Back in the office.) SLOANE: We have a geosynchronous satellite in orbit designed to detect particle decay. We have been tracking Sark since he left the club. DIXON: Where is he? SLOANE: He's on a transatlantic flight. Hopefully with Khasinau. It's too soon to project his destination but when he lands we'll vector a team to his position. That's all. You can go. Sydney, stay for a minute, would you? (Dixon leaves.) SLOANE: Emily told me that you visited her at the hospital last week and that you had a nice conversation. SYDNEY: Yes, we did. SLOANE: I know that some of the things she said indicated her awareness of what we do here and that usually such a breach would proscribe a deliberate course of action. You know that better than anyone. Because she's not likely to last a week... (His voice breaks. He's close to tears.) SLOANE: I was able to sustain a reprieve. SYDNEY: I'm glad. SLOANE: Yes, I knew you would be, that's why I wanted to thank you for being such a good friend to Emily... and to me. It was your duty to report Emily to security section. You didn't. And that's more than I did for you. (Self-storage. Vaughn and Sydney.) VAUGHN: Please tell me you're not actually feeling sympathy for Arvin Sloane? SYDNEY: No. No. It's just the first time I've seen him express regret for what he did to Danny. VAUGHN: He wouldn't hesitate to kill you if he knew we were having this conversation. SYDNEY: You're right. VAUGHN: Anyway, I read your debrief. So did Devlin. We'll deal with the loss of the Rambaldi document later but first you should know that, uh, offices of security is drawing up a constigency plan to keep Will Tippin safe. SYDNEY: What kind of constigencies? VAUGHN: Witness protection. Worst-case scenario, recruitment. SYDNEY: Absolutely not! VAUGHN: Sydney, we have to cover everything-- SYDNEY: I can't believe I'm hearing this! VAUGHN: Hopefully it won't come to this! SYDNEY: You're NOT bringing him into this life! VAUGHN: He is in this life now. Whether you like it or not. SYDNEY: He is my friend. He is, like, one of my best friends. VAUGHN: I understand that. SYDNEY: No, you don't. You get to tell your friends that you work for the CIA while I go home and look desperately for a tiny moment that I can be honest with anyone about anything. Now that Will knows the truth... he's never going to trust me again. You should have seen his face in Paris. It was like he was looking at a stranger. VAUGHN: But he wasn't. He was looking at you. Maybe for the first time. He was looking at you. (Will walks around a room, looking bored. Sydney walks in. He looks away.) WILL: What is this place? We're like in the middle of LA. Do you have a place like this everywhere? SYDNEY: I told you not to pursue this story. WILL: I know you did. SYDNEY: Danny was killed because he knew. Because I told him. They were going to kill me, too. WILL: (realizing) That's why you asked for my sister's passport. SYDNEY: (sits) I know that you have questions, and... look, I would like to answer them, but I can't. I am so afraid that you know anything about me at all. WILL: I only went after this story because of Danny. You didn't have any answers as to who killed the man you loved and I just couldn't stand that. It broke my heart. I wanted to help. But you gotta know this. I'm not going to ask you a thing. I am not going to ask anyone a thing. You never have to worry about that. SYDNEY: You promise me. Because Danny just left a message on the machine, he didn't-- WILL: Syd, Syd. I promise. Never. (He sits down next to her.) WILL: I was thinking on the way back, what your life's like. What you have to go through. What you have to keep from your friends. How hard that must be. Syd... I don't love you because of what you do, or what you don't do. I just love you. SYDNEY: Thank you. WILL: Thank you. You saved my life. (In the hall outside Emily's hospital room, Sloane talks on his phone.) OPERATIVE: Sir, Mr. Sark has landed in Geneva. SLOANE: How long before you can have a team in position? OPERATIVE: One hour. Do we have authorization to apprehend Sark? SLOANE: Yeah. You have it. (Will walks up to a mirror and talks to it. We pull back to reveal that he's in the CIA safehouse in LA. A few CIA agents sit behind the mirror, watching Will.) WILL: Hey, guys. Is there a food situation? Is there any chance I can get something to eat? Like a burger or something? I'm easy. (shrugs) (Hospital room. Sloane stands by Emily's bed. Dr. Levin enters.) LEVIN: I am sorry to keep you both waiting. EMILY: It's okay, Dr. LEVIN: And I apologize for being underprepared, I just got the tests back. I thought you'd want to know. Hmm. The pain we suspected that might indicate a recurrence of the lymphoma appears to be due to the rapid regrowth of your bone marrow element. EMILY: That's wonderful... isn't it? LEVIN: In fact, the lymphoma cells appear to be decreasing significantly. Emily, you're entering remission. Now, these are only preliminary tests. Your blood panels will tell us more, but... EMILY: Arvin! (laughs) (She hugs him. Sloane is stunned.) EMILY: Oh, God! (sobs) Ohhh! (In Geneva, an SD-6 team shoots down a door and runs in.) OPERATIVE: Alpha team, position! (Will sits in the safehouse room, looking bored. The CIA agents sit behind the mirror.) (The team's about to enter the room where Sark will be.) OPERATIVE: Sloane wants Sark alive. (They barrel down the door and enter. They push curtains out of the way. An empty bed sits there.) OPERATIVE: There's nothing here but medical equipment! Blood bags, pumps... the son of a bitch had a transfusion! (Will walks around, then sits down on the couch. The CIA agents are no longer keeping watch. They all lay on the ground and slumped over on their desks. A man walks over the bodies and exits. He knocks on Will's door. Will jumps up to answer it.) WILL: Oh, yeah. Thirty minutes or less. (He opens the door. Sark is standing there with a gun pointed at him. He shoots Will. Will falls to the ground.)	Plan: A: Will's life; Q: What is about to change as he is sent to find the person responsible for leaking information to him about SD-6? A: SD-6; Q: Who captures "The Man's" right-hand man? A: Sydney's alias; Q: What does Will learn about Sydney? A: Sloane; Q: Who is on the cusp of finally tracking down Khasinau? A: Sark; Q: Who is "The Man's" right-hand man? A: Dixon; Q: Who becomes suspicious of Sydney's activities? Summary: Will's life is about to change as he is sent to find the person responsible for leaking information to him about SD-6 - he finally finds out about Sydney's alias. Meanwhile, Sloane finds himself on the cusp of finally tracking down Khasinau when SD-6 captures "The Man's" right-hand man, Sark. Dixon becomes suspicious of Sydney's activities.
Oscar: Oh, for God's sake. [notices Erin planking on parking lot curb] [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Planking is a very stupid and dangerous trend. Basically, you lie like a plank in weird places. That's it. Sometimes you get run over. Welcome to the Internet. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Planking is one of those things where, eh, you either get it or you don't. And I don't. But I am so excited to be a part of it. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [exiting elevator] After you my good sir. Dwight: No, I insist. Andy: I insist. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: The Search Committee finally decided, after a lot of deliberation, on Robert California... for the manager position. Who took one look around and left. He drove down to Florida and convinced Joe to make him CEO... CEO... her own job. He talked her out of her own job. And I don't really know how someone does that. But, anyway, then the position was his to fill. And he chose... [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [drumroll with hands] I... it's unbelievable. True, I may have been the second choice, but I was the first-choice's first choice. And, about Dwight, I sensed that he might have some resentment about not getting the job so I sat him down and we had a talk. And I told him, "I need a really strong number two. I want you to be my enforcer." Smart, right? Kelly: (planking on top of cabinet] Very smart. Andy: Uh, this has got to stop. Kelly: I can't get down. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: K... Kevin! [Kevin planking on Dwight's desk] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Yeah, at first, I was really disappointed, but I've got a great daily routine going right now. I have upped my karate to eight times a week. I've added boxing - lunches and on weekends. I do kickboxing three times a week. Krav Maga four times a week. An hour of meditation every morning at sunrise and again at sunset. So yeah, I'm doin' great. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: K, I'm gonna need some help. Pam? Pam: I don't think I should. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Oh, yeah. Pregnant. Pam: Right here. Little Michael Scott- [points to her belly] Jim: No, I told you I don't like that joke. It is a boy. We found out early. Pam: Much different the second time around. And I have to say; it is nice not being the only pregnant woman in the office. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Look, it's a 'Little Pregs' [points to her belly] and 'Big Pregs' [points to Pam's] Pam: Wait, when did we start calling it that- Angela: Isn't it amazing, the difference in our sizes? Pam: Well, I am a few months ahead of you. Angela: I am having a child with my husband, the Senator. And Pam is having a child with Jim... the great salesman. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Hoist him aloft. C'mon Darryl. Lift, lift Darryl. [trying to lift Kevin off desk] Darryl: I'm lifting. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: Yeah, I wanted the manager job, but I got somethin' much better. This soda. This is mine. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: It might be easier if you take a deep breath, lift from the knees, and shove it up your butt. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: I came up with a new thing this summer. I act like I'm telling someone how to do somethin'. I go on with a long description and then I say, "and shove it up your butt." It's stupid, but it's my thing now. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: No one should be planking at all. Andy: Thank you, yes. Dwight, my enforcer, my number two, can you take care of this? Dwight: Say no more. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [starts attacking plankers] Kids, don't try planking. It's dangerous. [knocks Toby off table] 'Specially with me around. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: You watching that commercial again? [Pam nods] Why do you keep watching it, if you know it's just gonna make you cry? Pam: Because everything makes me cry, so what's the difference? This dog, he just wants to protect his bone. Jim: He's got a bank vault. That's a start. Pam: Not enough though. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: The new CEO works out of the conference room about half the time. But whenever he takes a break, he does these weird walks around the office. And you never know who he's gonna zero in on for these really intense small-talks. You just hope it's not you. And yet, you hope it is you too. It's strange. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Here we go. Robert: Hello. Erin: Robert California. Let's have a conversation. Robert: Describe your day so far. Erin: Well, I woke up. And I hit the snooze- Robert: And when you recount your day, never say you woke up. It's a waste of your time. That's how every day's begun, for everyone, since the dawn of man. Erin: Very smart, very smart. Suddenly, I was awake. And I've been doing this thing- Andy: Hey, Robert. We have that 9:30am casual chit-chat scheduled. I emailed you about it last night to confirm. And again this morning. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: First item on the agenda: can I get everyone an extra long Columbus Day weekend. Item number two, connect with the guy. Robert California, what does he think of me? Don't know, super care. Number three, time permitting, we lost our biggest client. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Pam, pam. Psst. Pam. [motions her over, both looking at Robert's notebook] Pam: Jim. [motions him over] Jim: [motions he is on the phone] Can I call you right back? Thank you very much. [comes over] Okay. [sees notebook with two lists of staff names] What is this? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: The Friday before Columbus Day. Thoughts? Robert: What are your thoughts. Andy: Just making chit-chat. Kind of a medium year for women's soccer, no? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: What are you looking at? Jim: It's, it's nothing. Dwight: It can't be nothing. Phyllis: Yeah, it can't be nothing. Jim: It's just a list of our names, split into two columns. Stanley: What? Jim: Okay, just wait one second, alright? I will copy it. Do you have a pen? Erin: No. Jim: No. Okay. Um, I'll take a photo of it. Dwight, can you throw me my phone? Dwight: [throws hard, Jim doesn't catch] Nice catch. Pam: If he comes out, distract him. [takes list to copier] Kevin: We need a warning signal. Jim: We don't need a warning signal, Kevin. We can see him right there- Kevin: We do. Jim: I promise you, we don't need a warning- Kevin: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! Phyllis: Ahhh! [falls out of chair] Dwight: Phyllis! Phyllis! You okay? You okay? Phyllis: Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Dwight: ... 2, 3! [pulls Phyllis up] Phyllis: Thanks guys. Dwight: Okay, which side of the list am I on? Jim: Left. Dwight: Yes! Jim: Why are you- How do you know? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Really great list of names guys. Thank you so much. Good work. Jim: Uh, no, actually. That was in Robert's notebook. Pam: He left it at reception and we photocopied it. Andy: Oh, okay. I don't want any part of this. Pam: Maybe it's a list of people he's gonna fire. Jim: Okay, it's not that Pam. You know, I was thinking it reminds me of those lists Dwight used to make. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: This is if we were all on a cruise ship and had to divide into lifeboats. This is if we were on a cruise ship and had to divide into life rafts. Here's something. Who would eat who in an 'Alive' situation. No... that can't be it. Andy: I gotta say. Kinda seems like the left side's the side to be on. Me, Jim, Dwight, Darryl. No offense Pam. Jim: I don't think it's- Pam: 'Scuse me? Dwight: Shhh, Pam. C'mon, don't be such a right-sider. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Did you guys figure it out? Andy: We couldn't crack it. Stanley: Go in there and just ask the man what it means. Andy: He'll know that we looked at his private notebook. Phyllis: C'mon, just say you saw the list by accident. Andy: I'm already working on this Columbus Day thing for you guys and it's starting to stack up. Feels like a lot. One thing at a time. Phyllis: Yeah, that's all you had to do today was ask about Columbus Day? [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: [Andy continuously knocking on door] Yes, for god's sake Andy. Yes, come in. Andy: What's up? Weird thing. Totally awkward, but you left your notebook on the reception desk. Robert: Great. Thank you. Andy: And it was open. And people saw this. And they're just kinda going nuts and like wondering what it is. Robert: What is this? Andy: It's a photocopy from your notebook. Robert: You read my notebook? And photocopied it. And distributed it. Andy: No. They did. And they asked me to ask about it. Robert: Ah, please. Here's what it is. It's a doodle. Andy: What? Robert: Some people doodle at work when they let their mind run. They draw houses, penises. Funny how the houses are always colonials and the penises are always circumcised. Don't you think? Well, I doodle too, but I'm not an artist. So I draw words and lists. Andy: That is fascinating. And, by the way, I am so glad I asked. People were just sort of- Did you just move my name? Robert: Might as well have been sketching a cube. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Okay. Robert's in the annex, everybody think quick. What do these groups have in common? Meredith: Maybe we're s'posed to do it with people in our group. Jim: That's not it. Meredith: People in the other group. Jim: Mmum, still wrong. Andy: Stanley, you do puzzles all day. Whatdo we got? Stanley: Well, you take the first letter from each name, assign it a number, add 'em all up, and SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT! Andy: Thank you. A little much needed comic relief, but we really need to figure this out guys. Kevin: I know! It's alphabetical. Everyone: [separately] No. Dwight: No, it's not. Here's how we find out. Let's line up and compare the lines, see if we learn anything. Okay, left-siders over here. Right-siders, line up over here. Face each other. Match it by height and relative weight. Let's just size each other up here and left side of the list... ATTACK! Jim: Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Stop! Stop! Will you stop?! [Kelly and Erin screaming as Dwight bashes their heads together, everyone attacking each other and yelling] Andy: Dwight! Meredith: Hey! Kevin: Warning! Warning! Warning! Robert: [enters room, everyone quiets and separates] I'd like to invite the following people to join me for lunch: Jim, Dwight, Angela, Darryl, Kevin, Toby, Phyllis, Oscar. Dwight: That's great. Let's do this guys. Jim: Alright, well, I will see you in a bit. Pam: I love you so much. [starting to cry] Jim: Hey. It's nothing. Alright? I'll text you when we get there. Let you know what's going on. Pam: Okay. [turns to computer] Jim: Nope. No dog video. Pam: Okay. Jim: Okay. See you guys. Andy: Well, we should all be really excited about our very own pizza party. Pizza partay! Pizza! Partay! Pizza! Partay! [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: Jim, your daughter, Cecilia. What does she think of the street? Jim: Uhhh, the street? Robert: Sesame street. Jim: Oh, I didn't know anybody called it- She likes it a lot- she, uh, loves Elmo. Robert: Elmo, god's sake, it's the Elmo era. Jim: Right. Robert: Sesame Street was created to reflect the environment of the children watching it. Complete self-absorption of Elmo is brilliantly reflective of our time. Ours is a cultural ghetto. Wouldn't you agree. Jim: Yeah, she does like Elmo. Oscar: Cultural ghetto? Totally- totally agree. Phyllis: Completely. Darryl: Apt. Apt analysis, Robert. Kevin: The thing that I like about Elmo is the tickling. Toby: I should not be here. I'm in the- I was in the wrong- I'm- I'm sorry. Uh, just picture me back there. I- I was never here. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Great group! Pizza party! Kelly: How is this a pizza party? Andy: Well, why don't you ask me again when the five pizzas get here. Kelly: Yeah, well, that's just pizza. You need at least one other element for it to be a party. Andy: Okay. You guys ever had Margarita pizza? Stanley: What's that? Andy: Fresh tomato with a dollop of mozzarella cheese. Stanley: That's pizza. Pam: That's regular pizza. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: You know, I feel comfortable enough now to ask you this question... what made you pick this group? Robert: I just think you guys are winners and I wanted to have lunch with you. Dwight: Okay! Everyone: [separately] Awww. Phyllis: Well, what about the other guys. Dwight: Losers. Robert: No. Dwight: C'mon. Robert: I don't- I don't wanna say- Dwight: C'mon, c'mon. Robert: No, no. Dwight: C'mon. Robert: Ha, I guess I think they're losers. Dwight: Ha ha, I knew it! Ha ha! Yes! Woo! Robert: Probably shouldn't have said that. [Jim's jaw drops] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Ah hah! Their interpretation of Margarita pizza. Fans of classic pizza will be psyched. Pam: [Pam's phone vibrates] Oh, text from Jim. "This is getting very weird. Will explain later." Pam: [Everyone's phone vibrates] Oh, text from Kevin. Meredith: "Suck it losers." [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Okay, not to point out the glaringly obvious, but doesn't the fact that I'm in this group make anyone feel just a little bit better? Oh! This crust is sharp! Pam: I used to be young and cute and sorta funny and I could do those cute, little cartoons. And everyone who came through here was like, "Who's that receptionist? I like her." Now I'm just a fat mom. Yeah, and you take one look at me and you're like, "Oh, loser." Andy: C'mon Pam. Chins up, okay? Bad joke. Look around this room. Does this look like a group of losers? Seriously? Pam: Oh. Oh God. Kelly: [door opens, others enter] Oh. Hey guys! We had so much fun. We had Margarita pizza. We all hung out. Got to know each other better. How was your lunch? Angela: It was excellent. Darryl: Good times. Andy: Yeah? Dwight: Oh, we did. It was the best time. And you know what? Now it's over. Back to work everyone. You too Andy. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: I knew it. I just knew, my whole life, that everyone was wrong about me. My parents, my teachers, my friends, the doctors. Everyone. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Well, that was certainly an odd lunch. Is everything alright? Pam: Yeah, I'm fine. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: [spraying Meredith and Creed with water gun] Loser. Losers. [Dwight holding up "L" to his forehead] Meredith: [on the phone, while getting sprayed] Just take the casserole out of the- Take it out of the refrigerator and put it in the oven. It'll be fine, just leave it in for 20 minutes. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: When I was a salesman I could just be like "Not my job, not my prob. I'm going to the warehouse to polish my knob." Metaphorically, of course. But now, it is my job and my prob. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Hi, Robert? Can you come out here please it's really important. Just wanted to clarify something. Some people here are under the misconception that some people may be considered, uh, let's say top-tier and others would be second-tier. Robert: I never said that. Andy: Thank you. Great. Robert. I said winners and losers. Is that what you're talking about? Andy: Oh, that, it might- That might actually be what I'm thinking of. Can you clarify that? Robert: Let me tell you some things I find productive. Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Honesty. I'll tell you some things I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social clues. And then, inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night. No, I do not believe in that at all. If I invited you to lunch, I think you're a winner. If I didn't, I don't. But I just met you all. Life is long, opinions change. Winners prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong. Phyllis: Whew, well. I guess that's that. Andy: No. No, no. Erin: Andy, don't go in there! Andy: I'm going in there. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: I know that every time I talk to you things just seem to get worse. But, you don't know these people and I do. And if I let you work with faulty information, well, then I'm not doing my job as regional manager. So, please take this pen and change your list. Robert: I'm not gonna change my list, Andy, and I don't use ballpoint pens. Andy: Well, then I will make a new list for you. Stanley... you may think he's a lazy grump, but did you know that he has the most consistently high sales numbers of anyone in this office? And you may think he's hard to love, but did you know that he's in, not one, but two long-term romantic relationships? Robert: I did not know about the sales figures. Andy: Meredith Palmer... Supplier relations. The word "no" not even in her vocabulary. And just to show you that I'm being fair. You had Gabe in the loser column. I think that is astute. Good call. Pam, easily the most creative and kind person I have ever worked with. Dwight: Jim, shut the door. This is just gross. Jim: Shhh. Andy: Erin Hannon, the receptionist and my closest confidant. A winner if there ever was one. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: I like my new group. I liked my old group. [SCENE_BREAK] Robert: Are we done? Andy: Yes. No! The Friday before Columbus Day, we're gonna take a half-day, so that everyone can get a jump on the long weekend. Robert: You want a three and half day weekend for Columbus Day? Andy: Yes, I do. Robert: And you are aware that Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans. Andy: I don't care. [Robert smiles as Andy exits] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Hey guys. So Columbus Day, we got that half-day on Friday. Stanley: We get that every year. Andy: Well, you got it this year too. Phyllis: Good night, Andy. Andy: Night. Angela: Bye. Oscar: Good night Andy. Dwight: Good night. Andy: Night. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Alright, I'm gonna go warm up the car. Pam: Okay. Oh, uh, you dropped something. Jim? [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Okay, I know I've been crying easily today, but- [shows unfolded paper Jim dropped, shows two lists, "Pam" and "Cece" on one side, "Everything else" on the other] I mean, that's just pretty killer, right? I mean, maybe it's stupid. No. [starts crying] It's wonderful. I'm gonna frame it. I can always unframe it.	Plan: A: Robert California; Q: Who is the new regional director of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton? A: Robert; Q: Who invites the left-hand side to lunch? A: James Spader; Q: Who plays Robert California? A: Dunder Mifflin; Q: What company is Robert California the regional director of? A: CEO; Q: What position does Robert California become after talking to Jo Bennett? A: Andy Bernard; Q: Who is the new regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton? A: Ed Helms; Q: Who plays Andy Bernard? A: his open notebook; Q: What does Robert leave by reception? A: Erin; Q: Who discovers the list of names that divides the employees? A: the office; Q: Who goes crazy trying to figure out what the list means? A: its meaning; Q: What does the office go crazy trying to figure out? A: "losers; Q: What is the other side of the list? A: an impassioned Andy; Q: Who defends his coworkers? A: his fellow coworkers; Q: Who does Andy defend? Summary: Robert California ( James Spader ) becomes the new regional director of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton, but becomes the new company CEO after talking to Jo Bennett. Andy Bernard ( Ed Helms ) is chosen by California to become the new regional manager. When Robert leaves his open notebook by reception, Erin discovers a list which divides the office employees' names. Pam and Jim photocopy it, and the office goes crazy trying to figure out its meaning. The problem worsens when Robert invites the left-hand side to lunch. Eventually, California explains that the lists are of the "winners" and "losers". After hearing this, an impassioned Andy defends his fellow coworkers.
Opening scene - We open on an aerial view of the water, then the houses. We are now in the Cohen kitchen. Hailey is sitting at the dining room table with ear phones in her ears moving along to the music. In front of her she has a full glass of juice and bagels on a plate. Sandy comes in patting his stomach, he goes to the empty basket that the bagels came out of, then glares at Hailey, not impressed. Of course Hailey is obliviously eating the bagel. Ryan now comes in, he pats Sandy on the chest as he walks passed, and Sandy tips the basket out, hopeful! Ryan goes to the cupboard and grabs a glass, he then goes to the fridge and pulls out the carton of juice, he brings it to the counter and pours it into his glass, 1/4 of a glass comes out if that! Ryan glares at Hailey who of course is drinking from her big glass. Sandy has given up on the bagels and pours himself a cup of coffee. Seth now comes in, he picks up the paper that is sitting on the counter. he goes through it clearly looking for a certain part, he looks over at Hailey who has the section that he wanted. he throws it down in frustration. Kirsten now enters, the 3 guys are all glaring at Hailey now. Kirsten comes and stands with them, she picks up the empty basket and looks at Hailey, who is still oblivious to them all glaring at her. Kirsten puts her hands on her hips. the 4 of them walk out of the kitchen Sandy: she's eatin us outta house an home Kirsten: (whispers) Sandy it's just a bagel Sandy: no-no-no it's never just a bagel Seth: mom as someone who's basically just ben a shut in for the last seventeen years of his life I can pretty much say with great authority (points) that that woman never leaves the house Kirsten: she's got nowhere else to go Ryan: that's because all her friends wanna kick her ass, sorry about the language Sandy: why? I'd like to kick her ass (Seth nods) Hailey: (yells off screen) Kirsten (the 3 guys groan and roll their eyes) Kirsten: (cheery) coming Hailey: (still off screen) there's no more coffee, will you make some? (Sandy is mouthing 'no-no-no-no-no-no-no (uses hands for emphasis) Hailey: (still off screen) the good French roast kind not the harvest blend Kirsten: (to Sandy) ill talk to her Sandy: (walking away) oh, that means ill have to survive on English muffins (Seth follows, not happy) CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan is putting schools books into his bag. Seth comes in Seth: (knocks) (whistles) Marissa? Marissa hello, she's gotta be here somewhere Ryan: hillarious Seth: yeah kay listen to me Hailey is always in the living room alright an Marissa's always in here. look at me I'm lost ok what happened to Seth Ryan time, that was quality time Ryan: ok, I know I've ben a little bit (moves head) Seth: uh whipped? Ryan: I'm not whipped (Seth raises his eyebrows at him) I'm free to talk now what's up Seth: hey squeezing me in before school nice I like that but actually ill take it, ok here's the thing um Anna an I have decided to take it to the next level an I need some advice Ryan: your gonna have s*x? Seth: no that's a good idea though um...we're gonna tell Summer that we're dating and as much as I fear Summer hurting me what with the rage black outs an all I'm actually more scared about hurting her feelings. we've become friends now an I feel like I don't wanna, I don't know if I wanna (knock at the door, it's Marissa and she walks in) Marissa: (cheery) hey! you guys ready to go? Seth: yeah no we were just talkin Marissa: (holds Ryan around the neck) oh really about what? (kisses Ryan on the cheek) Seth: uh just guy stuff you know hunting an shaving an shoes actually uh the cleats for-for the-the sports (Ryan frowns at him) Marissa: hmm ok well come on (heads out) Seth: (to Ryan) hey later can we please finish this chat, put a little Seth Ryan time on the books Ryan: yes yes absolutely (heading out) just gotta check with (stops and turns around) Seth: (points) oh you forgot your balls Ryan: you an me tonight! (smiles) Marissa: (grabbing Ryan) (laughs) come on! (pulls him out the door) (Seth makes a whipping action, and the sound is heard) Theme Song - California by Phantom Planet Harbor school - Ryan and Marissa are walking through the halls Marissa: have we become one of those couples Ryan: who lose all their friends? Marissa: and can't do anything without each other Ryan: I don't think so, you think so...it'll be good a night apart Marissa: (smiles) yeah plus I'm kinda sick'a you (playfully pushes his shoulder) Ryan: I'm sick'a me too (smiles) Marissa: I gotta go Ryan: yeah and I got the (turns around) (turns back to her) Marissa: (hopeful) walk me? Ryan: ill walk you! (he puts his arm around her shoulders and they walk off) CUT TO: Anna and Seth in a class room sitting together. they are being cutesy with each other. Seth flicks the page over that Anna is trying to read, and she playfully hits him Seth: oww Anna: (laughs) don't make me Seth: don't make you what? (holding her hand) Anna: hurt you (Seth goes to playfully bite Anna's hand then he sees Summer come in and stops) Summer: what's up? Seth: hey, what is up (Summer sits down at their table) Summer: (to Seth) I was talkin to her Seth: that's cool (goes back to what he was doing) Summer: I wanted to know if you had plans this weekend (Anna mumbles something) Seth: what Anna is trying to say is she's not gonna do anything, we're both (Anna looks at him) not doing anything, that's what we're both doing (Summer looks at him) but infact we're doing nothing but, doing that by ourselves (Seth puts his head down, as does Anna) Summer: thankyou Cohen, you just reminded me (laughs) that I need my bio text book, cause we're studying monkeys (leaves the table) Seth: ouch Anna: I hate liars, an now I am one of them, I thought you said you were gonna talk to her Seth: I am gonna talk to her I...I-I don't know how Anna: fine, I will tell her then Seth: no you cant I have to do it, look tonight me an Ryan are gonna have a little conference, good will strategy meeting we're gonna figure out the whole thing Anna: (laughs) oh boy that makes me feel so much better! Seth: sure then we'll be to do this (he shuts her book again) Anna: Seth (Seth tickles her around the neck, while still writing) Anna: (laughs) I have to study (tickles him back) (they both tickle each other then Summer comes back in, they both stop suddenly) CUT TO: Cohen house - Sandy and Jimmy are in the living room Jimmy: (shrugs) I started my own business right outta college and now (sighs) I'm a father of 2 and I've got one line on my resume Sandy: (thinks) d'ja ever mow your lawn as a kid Jimmy: yeah Sandy: great! Jimmy Cooper landscaping your first job (Jimmy raises his eyebrows) and now you're an entrepreneur Jimmy: I don't even have any references Sandy: (smiles) sure you do, your clients (Jimmy looks at him) (realises) who's money you stole, right (sound of a door opening) Hailey: is that Jimmy Cooper Jimmy: (smiles) h-hey, Hailey! huh you look fantastic (hugs her) how you doin? Sandy: she's got no jobs no friends an no prospects, an I say that with love (Hailey glares at him) Jimmy: sounds like we got alot in common CUT TO: Sandy and Kirsten carrying groceries into the kitchen Sandy: so, did you guys have the talk? Kirsten: (puts the bag down) yes (Sandy looks at her) we almost did (Sandy sighs) its jus we were having so much fun and all we've done is fight for so long it was nice to just hang out an be sisters (hands Sandy some flowers) ill find out if she has a plan Sandy: you know what her plan is, she's gonna stay here and mooch off us, until she can go make a withdrawal from the bank of dad and then she'll take off again for a couple'a years Kirsten: Sandy she said she wasn't gonna do that this time Sandy: wh-wh-so she's gonna stay here an mooch off us forever? Kirsten: she's not mooching Sandy: oh really, oh yeah then how'd she get all those new clothes she bought huh, from the salary she doesn't make? from the trust fund she drained Kirsten: (smiles) bought'cha bagels (throws them to him) Sandy: oh an that fixes everything? Kirsten: yes it does Sandy: (looks at the bagels) sesame! (smiles) (Kirsten smiles at him) ooh that's a start...(serious look) I'm gonna hide em CUT TO: Jimmy and Hailey walking out to the yard Hailey: so yeah now I'm broke an sleeping at my sisters Jimmy: hey, I'm broke and uh...my wife is sleeping with your father (Hailey laughs) fantastic (laughs) (they both sit down on the steps) Hailey: we've really done well for ourselves Jimmy: who knew back in the day when Kirsten an I were babysitting you an you were watching silver spoons, that we'd both turn out to be so uh (shakes his head) (Hailey frowns & shakes hers) Hailey: complicated, and it was golden girls Jimmy: oh that's right, that's right (laughing) you-you loved golden girls Hailey: (laughing) and its pretty impressive that I was ten years old and totally relating to the lives of seventy year old women Jimmy: blanch was seventy? she aged really well Hailey: (smiles) (serious) I'd love to hang, hear how you made such a mess of your life Jimmy: same...although I bet your story doesn't involve a fist fight at catillion Hailey: no but I bet yours doesn't contain half a pound'a hash and a border guard in Budapest Jimmy: (laughs) (shakes his head) no CUT TO: Kirsten and Sandy still in the kitchen - Kirsten is putting flowers in a vase Kirsten: it's nice that you an Jimmy are friends again Sandy: yeeaahh I guess I cant blame a guy (pulls back Kirsten's hair at her neck) for wantin to kiss my wife (smells her neck then kisses it) Kirsten: (smiles) mmhmm Sandy: y'know it feels like we never have any time alone anymore Kirsten: (turns around to face him) only that's not true (puts her arms around his neck) we have moments (kisses him) Sandy: I want more moments (Jimmy & Hailey walk in) Hailey: uh-hm (Kirsten & Sandy see them and stop) Hailey: (to Jimmy) god they are so whipped Jimmy: I gotta go pick up Marissa, Sandy thankyou Sandy: any time Jimmy: (to Hailey) ill see you uh tomorrow Hailey: yes Jimmy: (leaving) yes Hailey: Jimmy an I we're gonna hang out tomorrow night, catch up Kirsten: hang out like, out? Hailey: mm hmm Sandy: I bet you have alot to catch up on Hailey: hmm (leaves) (Sandy & Kirsten look at each other) Sandy: tomorrow night? Kirsten: tomorrow night CUT TO: Harbor school - Ryan is walking in the parking lot. Luke is there looking at his truck Ryan: hey man, how's it goin? Luke: I've got a flat tyre Ryan: cause you ran over a nail? (he crouches down to look) Luke: mm (points) somebody slashed it Ryan: (looks at Luke then stands) want some help? Luke: thanks, I got a spanner in the bag guy: hey Luke why doesn't your dad help you with that tyre, I'm sure he'd like to bend over (laughs) (Luke & Ryan look at each other, not saying anything) Luke: New Years resolution, punch people less (drops the back) Ryan: yeah I had the same one Luke: (sighs) you think I'm getting what I deserve? after all these years of bein a jack ass Ryan: definitely (smiles) but hey why don't we jus get outta here the tyre can wait Luke: that sounds terrific CUT TO: Cohen house - Luke is playing a video game. Seth and Ryan are standing back, watching Luke: (yells at the TV) GO -go-go break that tackle, go yeah! Seth: (to Ryan) today's playstation for the sports games (walking away from Luke) listen to me, you said Seth Ryan time ok this isn't Seth Ryan time this is Seth Luke Ryan time an you know what guess what there's no such thing as Seth Luke Ryan time Ryan: well maybe Luke will have some good advice (shrugs) Seth: what'does that guy know about juggling women, c'mon (Ryan looks at him)...ok quite a bit yes but he wasn't good at it Ryan: he's...havin a bad day Seth: hey I'm havin a bad day ok I'm havin a bad week Ryan: (sighs) some kids at school slashed his tyres Seth: (softly) damnit...what'd you think he wants on his pizza? Luke: oh hey Cohen check out the replay on this tackle (Seth cringes) I broke this bitch in half Seth: (to himself softly) Luke has a gay dad Luke has a gay dad (turns around)(over enthusiastic) cant wait to see it buddy! (phone rings. Ryan answers it) Ryan: hello Marissa: hey Ryan: (smiles) hey Marissa: I'm at Oliver's and he just ordered way to much food (Ryan's smile goes) look I know you said you wanted to spend tonight apart but he asked me to call you see if you wanted to come by Ryan: your at Oliver's? Marissa: well Summer had plans an then I saw Oliver at therapy an he said if I wa- (Oliver gives her food) mmm that's so good (Oliver: its Moroccan) Ryan: what's Moroccan? Marissa: mm the food jus come, ok see you soon Ryan: (yells to Seth & Luke) how do you guys feel about Moroccan? Luke: (to Seth) I think I really hurt that guy (Seth just nods, clearly bored) CUT TO: The pent house - Ryan, Seth and Luke are now there with Marissa and Oliver. Everyone except Oliver is sitting in a circle around the food, on the floor. Oliver comes in and sits between Marissa and Seth. Ryan is on the other side of Marissa Ryan: hey where's the silver ware Oliver: no man Moroccan you eat with your hands (sits) Seth: hey no wonder Luke seems to be enjoyin it so much Oliver: (to Marissa) how good is the cous cous Marissa: (with food in her mouth) mmm amazing Ryan: (with food in his mouth) its pretty good Oliver: (points) no that's the kefta, cous cous is the other thing (Ryan looks uncomfortable) Seth: (with food in his mouth) dude I cannot believe you live in a penthouse man this place is redonculous (Oliver smiles) Marissa: yeah its always ben my fantasy to live in a hotel, like Eloise Oliver: yeah well I guess but uh as my parents travel so much it can kinda get a little lonely Seth: hey man if you ever need any company (puts his thumb up) Oliver: thanks cause you know they might be gone a while, opening a new hotel in Paris Marissa: (to Oliver) I love Paris (Ryan looks at her) I could spend all day walking the champs Elysees Seth: I like Paris (puts up his thumb) I love baguettes (puts up his first finger for emphasis) Luke: dude French chicks don't even shave their armpits Oliver: (to Ryan) you ever ben to Paris Ryan? Ryan: (feels out of place) no not yet...I hear the louvres cool Oliver: no, do not go near that place (Ryan feels even more out of place) totally over rated, the Mona Lisa's like the size of the postage stamp, now the Rodin museum an the Musee Picasso(?) (motions as if to say 'wow') (Ryan rolls his eyes) but y'know where my family's ben spending most of their time, Switzerland, snowboarding the alps is unreal Luke: (impressed) you boarded the alps? ohhh shh the closest I've ever come is whistler Oliver: oh my family's got a place in big bear we should go one weekend (Ryan looks at him out the side of his eyes) Marissa: (to Oliver but looks at Ryan) hey you think you could teach Ryan ta board Seth: yeah if you can get him on a chair lift (Ryan looks at Seth, as if to say 'thanks man') Oliver: (getting up) first 2 days you'll be on your ass but we'll get you there (Ryan makes a motion with his hand as if to say 'sure') (Oliver turns the stereo up) Marissa: I really like this song Oliver: (sitting back down) y'know there playin'a morrow Seth: yeah but its all sold out Oliver: you wanna go? Seth: yeah but... its all sold out Oliver: ill call there manager tomorrow, there amazing live (Ryan looks up at the ceiling) Marissa: (impressed) you know Rooney? Seth: that would be...awe-some Luke: I've never heard of em but uh I got nothin ill go Oliver: (Marissa & Oliver both look at Ryan) Ryan? Seth: come on man, we'll all get to hang out Marissa: it'll be fun Ryan: (unconvincingly) ah huh, cool (Ryan half smiles, Marissa smiles at him) Oliver: alright, then its settled we're going Luke: alright Seth: nice Marissa: this is gonna be great (Ryan says nothing, but he doesn't look happy - poor guy) CUT TO: The Cohen kitchen the next morning - Ryan and Seth are in there. Seth is eating at the counter. Ryan: (shuts the fridge) so now your eatin with silver ware, next thing ill see you at the louvre Seth: (swallows) ah no you wont because uh like Oliver said its lame (Ryan looks at him) now listen can we please focus on the crisis at hand for one second ok, Summer now the way I figure it I've got many many options at my finger tips Ryan: yeah like the truth that's a good one (walks to the table & sits down) Seth: hey no argument there buddy but what I'm talkin about is my messenger of truth ok, my delivery system of honesty, the way I tell her now listen I could call her that's one Ryan: ok Seth: (scratching his chin as if in thought) yeah it is ok but its just ok (walks over to Ryan) I think it lacks any real uh spark or imagination (sits) Ryan: but its effective your voice on one end of the phone hers on the other, I'm dating Anna (winks) she'll hear you Seth: yeah but the phone is a rather blunt instrument no now what about (taps his top lip) shshshshw text messaging huh (Ryan frowns at him) I could black berry her think about it that feels very hip (Ryan raises his eyebrows) it feels edgy it feels twenty first century Ryan: (looks unsure) kinda cold Seth: mitten's required yes uh (goes to drink his coffee) oooh (Ryan looks at him, hopeful) (puts both fingers up for emphasis) a carrier pigeon! how cool would that be think about it (cutesy voice) a little message all rolled up in his cute little talons Summers a fan of the pigeon Ryan: (looks at him) your a coward! Seth: am I or am I just too sensitive to the feelings of others Ryan: (thinks) coward, definitely Seth: (drinks his coffee then swallows dramatically) (getting up) fine ill tell her Monday...actually I think Tuesday y'know what dude I might jus give it till Friday (Ryan shakes his head) because that way she can have the weekend to sorta let it marinate Ryan: (turns around) you could do it today Seth: nooo because today will soon be tonight an tonight will be Rooney, an Rooney will be awesome (Hailey comes in) Hailey: Rooney, I saw them open for the vines in uh LA last year Seth: yeah? big whoop we're seein em tonight Hailey: (frowns) really I thought it was sold out Seth: mmhmm it happens they are but I also happen to be dialed in alright I got the hook ups, or at least Oliver does an I'm gonna ride his coat tails (drinks his coffee) Hailey: Oliver (smiles) as in (to Ryan) Oliver the guy who wanted to kiss your girlfriend on New Years Ryan: (shakes his head) morning Hailey (Hailey makes a cutesy face at him) Seth: its not like that he's got a girlfriend Hailey: w-wait so if he has a girlfriend (to Ryan) why is he always hanging out with yours Ryan: couldn't tell ya but thanks Seth: hey the guy seems cool right Ryan: I don't know we don't really seem to have alot in common Hailey: besides your girlfriend Ryan: keep twistin the knife, feels good Seth: whatever he got us backstage passes that's good enough for me Hailey: backstage (to Ryan) so now you have to worry about your girl with Oliver and rock stars (Ryan sighs and goes to the counter where Seth & Hailey are. Hailey pours the rest of the cornflakes into her bowl) Hailey: mind if I finish the cornflakes Seth: (to Ryan) hey at least she asked, its a start CUT TO: Sandy and Kirsten at the car, taking out plants Sandy: well at least she's leavin the house, its a start Kirsten: mm (smiles) and we'll have the place to ourselves Sandy: yes we can eat bagels (they both put plants down on the front steps) Kirsten: and I can wear my robe! (laughs) Sandy: or not... I could have the remote back she's crammed that poor Tivo full of every E true Hollywood special, I think she's lookin for tips Kirsten: that's nice Sandy Sandy: well I'm just sayin she's clutterin up the Tivo...and a clear Tivo equals a clear mind Kirsten: are we ok... with the kids... going to that concert Sandy: mm yeah Kirsten: well what if Rooney is like...death metal (laughs) Satan worshipping...speed freaks Sandy: honey, honey, honey that went out in like the late 90's (Kirsten looks at him) I saw it on a special on E, listen ill run Rooney up my proverbial flag pole but you have got to speak ta Hailey CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan and Marissa are there, and Marissa is playing a Rooney CD for Ryan Marissa: so? Ryan: yeah its...well its my first time hearin it so uh Marissa: well that's why we're doing a run through now so that you'll of heard it all before tonight Ryan: (sits on his bed) right...so we're goin a'night Marissa: naaah its your first concert, we have free tickets backstage passes, your right we should skip it Ryan: (smiles) that's not what I'm sayin Marissa: what are you saying Ryan: (putting on his shoes)...have you met Natalie? Marissa: no but I hear she's great Ryan: an Oliver is...I mean Marissa: (smiling) is someone jealous Ryan: (turns back) this song is good...turn it up, really really loud (Marissa turns the song up then comes down and sits next to him, she turns his head to her and kisses him) Marissa: Oliver will be with Natalie (he leans his head back on her shoulder) Rooney is a really good band, and tonight we're gonna have fun Ryan: (softly) I know, there wont be dancing right Marissa: mm ill dance, you can watch Ryan: (smiles) works for me (kisses her) (he lies back on the bed and she moves on top of him) CUT TO: Seth's room - Sandy is in there with Seth, and he's moving along to Rooney which is playing Seth: (staring at him, turns the song off) IIII think that's enough Sandy: what? Seth: there was almost a knee bend man you were about to find the beat Sandy: and? Seth: and need I remind you of cousin Jeffrey's bah mitzvah (picks up his tie) you almost wiped out a half a dozen thirteen year olds on the dance floor (walks over to the mirror to put his tie on) Sandy: well its that YMCA song it requires alotta movement Seth: (putting on his tie) well man I'm just tryin'a spare casualties Sandy: (sighs) (sternly) so at this concert tonight anyone there gonna be doin drugs Seth: ah I hope so otherwise its a lame ass concert Sandy: anyone named Seth gonna be doin any drugs Seth: noooo nobody named Seth Cohen, I promise, I gotta stay sharp an focused tonight cause its my first date with Anna Sandy: it is? Seth: mmhmm Sandy: ah so you an Summer finally had the talk Seth: oh yes almost several times Sandy: Seth (puts his head down) Seth: father Sandy: the sooner you tell her the better your gonna feel about everything Seth: (puts on his jacket) yeah see I don't really believe that to be the case I'm sorta feelin like the longer I wait ta tell her the longer ill feel great! Sandy: the best advice I can give ya is this (fixes Seth's tie) its from Steven Segal and his classic film hard to kill (Seth looks at him) the anticipation of death is far worse then death itself Seth: (Sandy touches his hair) great so then we both agree that Summers gonna kill me (fixes his hair) Sandy: look if your old enough to go to a concert alone, if your old enough to embark on a real relationship...you are old enough to be a man Seth: (nods his head) well...she's not gonna be there tonight so...ill tell her Monday Sandy: good, now get goin your mother an I want some time alone Seth: (walking out) hey! there's a visual that I don't wanna take with me tonight Sandy: (following) well son your moms a hottie (shutting the door) an I got her CUT TO: Outside the concert - there is a huge queue to go in - Marissa, Ryan, Anna, Seth and Luke are waiting by the door for Oliver Marissa: (looking) I don't see him Ryan: maybe he's inside (they walk in to where a girl with a list is standing) door girl: excuse me are you on the list Marissa: ah yeah we're with Oliver Trask door girl: (looks through the list) who's Oliver Trask Marissa: you don't have his name or door girl: (shakes her head) no I don't have his name (Ryan & Marissa look at each other) I've never heard his name that's why I'm asking who's Oliver Trask Ryan: thanks you've ben very helpful Marissa: (pulling Ryan away) I'm just gonna call him an see where he is Luke: there's alotta freaks here huh Cohen Seth: yeah, good job Luke that should help make us alotta friends (looks at his watch) damnit Anna: what? Seth: (disappointed) well dude there gonna go on soon if Oliver's not here in the next couple'a minutes we're gonna miss their first song (Anna gasps) they only have like one album ok so you factor in your standard cover that's like 12 songs Anna: (laughs) oh no but hey I mean c'mon if we don't get in...we're sittin out front tonight right Seth: why what're we gonna do (plays with her finger) (Summer walks up) Summer: (smiling) hey I hope you guys aren't waiting for me (Seth & Anna both look shocked/disappointed) Seth: hi Summer Summer: Cohen, hey Anna Anna: Summer Summer: hi (Seth looks at Anna and she pushes him - Marissa is on her mobile, she hangs up) Summer: who were you talking to? Marissa: it jus goes straight to voice mail Luke: (to Seth) dude dude (points) look at that freak (Seth gasps then turns around, disbelievingly) CUT TO: The 6 of them walking in the parking lot Summer: hey I drove alone Anna will you ride with me? Seth: wait you guys wanna give up so early, maybe I can grease a few palms (Oliver is at the back gate) Oliver: hey All: hey Oliver: there you guys are Luke: what's up? (does a handshake thingy with Oliver) Oliver: what's up (to Anna & Summer) hi Anna: (takes his hand) hi Summer: (takes his other hand) hi Seth: we thought you were a no show (does handshake thingy as well) Oliver: what happened (puts his hands out) I-I thought I said back door (points) Ryan: nah you didn't (in the background we hear car doors and talking. Rooney have arrived) Summer: (excited) the bands here, its all happening Oliver: (to Rooney as they walk passed) what up guys (there is a bit of small talk here, they all are basically talking over each other) Luke: which ones Rooney? Summer: their all Rooney members (everyone laughs) Oliver: (to door guy) hey man this is my posse (Luke, Summer, Seth & Anna walk towards the gate, Marissa & Ryan hang back) Marissa: (hugs Oliver) hey, so where's Natalie Oliver: yeah we had another fight, this whole long distance things tough, looks like I'm dateless tonight Marissa: hey no, no way (walking) we'll be your date (to Ryan) right? Ryan: (un convincingly) yeah, right [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: The Cohen house - Kirsten and Sandy walk down the stairs together Kirsten: soooo should we fire up the hot tub? Sandy: oh interesting, open a bottle'a wine Kirsten: (puts her head on his shoulder) oooh I like it Sandy: first stop Tivo I'm gonna erase all'a Hailey's programs (Hailey comes around the corner) Hailey: (holding a pizza) hot pizza Sandy: (shocked) Hailey? Hailey: hey you guys your just in time (Jimmy is sitting on the couch with the 'operation' board game) Jimmy: (to Kirsten & Sandy) Dr, Dr Sandy: James (Kirsten has her mouth open) Hailey: what's up? Kirsten: uh I-I jus thought that you were going out tonight Hailey: we were but then (points at the TV) I found out there's a golden girls marathon on lifetime, and I decided to dig up all my favourite board games Jimmy: we're havin a throw back to the old (playfully knocks into Hailey) baby sitting days (Kirsten & Sandy are speechless) Hailey: why don't you guys join us Kirsten: great (laughs) that would be great Sandy: (looks at Kirsten) ah-huh (Jimmy makes operation buzz) Hailey: (to Jimmy) oooh I love this episode hey this is-this is the one where Rose adopts the pig (Kirsten & Sandy look at each other, no longer happy/lovey dovey) Jimmy: she adopted the pig? Hailey: ah huh CUT TO: The concert - Luke, Seth and Anna are backstage with Rooney, Oliver comes in and sees that Luke is watching the guitarist Oliver: you play? Luke: a little Oliver: (gives him backstage pass) here man Luke: (reads) all access sweet Oliver: (to the band member, referring to a guitar that's sitting next to him) hey, its cool? band member: its cool Oliver: (to Luke) hey check it out (gives Luke the guitar) Luke: seriously? Oliver: yeah Luke: (puts the strap over his head) its awesome...I...I've just got a few songs that I wrote uh (strums the guitar) (sings) the first time (strums) I saw your eyes I knew (strums) we'd get it ooooon Oliver: ok I'm jus gonna (motions with his head but Luke's engrossed in the song) (Oliver walks over towards Seth & Anna standing together) Anna: Seth all I'm saying is you have to tell her tonight! Seth: noooo I don't Oliver: hey Seth: hey Anna: hey Oliver: (hands them the B.S passes) here you go Seth: hey thankyou Oliver: sooo Luke he's... Seth: yeah we don't let him out much Luke: (still singing) no he didn't yes he did doodoodoodoo whoosh Oliver: yeah... but you guys are cool, havin fun? Seth: everything's awesome (does handshake thingy with him) Oliver: glad to hear (walks away) Anna: (laughs) uh yeah (turns to Seth) everything is not awesome! Seth: listen to me ok if I don't tell Summer tonight then later on when I do tell her she can remember what a fun time she had at Rooney ok an that would cheer her up Anna: there's never gonna be a good time to tell her, I mean if you think about it tonight's not a bad night, there's alotta guys here, there's alot of cute guys older guys an there's alot of musicians, girls like musicians Seth: maybe your right...are we flattering ourse-, am I flattering myself to even think that Summer will care I mean me compared ta (points) that dude or-or-or or that guy Anna: right Summer: are you checking out dudes again Cohen (Anna laughs) Seth: (laughs nervously) no Anna: but there are plenty of them out here tonight aren't there Summer, alot of musicians (Summer looks around) infact you know what I think I'm gonna go find some myself (turns to Seth) why don't you an Seth talk, you know about anything(?) Summer: um Cohen you an Anna uh Seth: (frustrated) me an Anna what? ...what? (laughs) Summer: (look at him) um will you guys stand with me at the concert, Marissa's like on a date and I'm all alone tonight so Seth: (nicer then before) (nods) ok that would be nice (Luke is still singing badly) CUT TO: Oliver outside by himself, he makes a phone call on his mobile. he looks nervous and on edge Oliver: yeah hey man...yeah I thought your boy was spose to be here like an hour ago NO ok no excuses...no I don't-I don't care who you send alright just make sure its good and it gets here quick!...alright (hangs up) CUT TO: Inside the concert - Ryan and Marissa are standing together (Marissa is in front of Ryan, Ryan has his arms around her) Oliver comes over Oliver: hey I cant see I'm stuck behind a row of giants, come with me (holds Marissa's arm to lead her) Marissa: ok, lead the way Ryan: (doesn't look impressed) (follows & almost runs into a waiter) sorry (pans to Anna & Seth standing together) Anna: hey, did you tell her, what'did she say? Seth: uhh Anna: (looking around) did she leave Seth: no Summer is bringing some refreshments for her friends Summer: Seth said you were thirsty Seth: yeah, you are thirsty aren't ya (hands Anna her drink) (Anna smiles, Summer smiles back) Anna: (hits Seth in the arm) (mouths) you didn't tell her! Seth: (mouths) I'm sorry Anna: I gotta pee (to Summer) you gotta pee Summer: ill come with (they both walk away) Anna: (turning back to Seth) (mouths) I'm telling her (Seth looks worried) CUT TO: Cohen house - Kirsten, Sandy, Jimmy and Hailey are in the living room playing connect four Kirsten: (laughing) you know the night that mom and dad came home early from palm springs (Sandy looks like he is having as much fun as Seth did) Jimmy: an we flushed all that beer down the toilet Hailey: (laughs) yeah alotta good that did Jimmy: I know Hailey: (laughs) dad caught you guys throwing out the empty beer bottles Kirsten: I thought you were sleeping Hailey: face it sister everything I know, I learned from you, you were a bad influence...back in the day, how do you think I learned how ta piss off dad Kirsten: (impressed) well the student becomes the master Hailey: (laughs) yeah and the master becomes dads slave, helping to turn paradise into a parking lot (Kirsten's smile goes) (laughs) or at least a three car garage Sandy: uh-hm (everyone is clearly uncomfortable) Jimmy: hey oooh (puts the chip in) connect four! Sandy: congratulations (standing) next Saturday yahtzee Hailey: no wait, stay, battleship? uno? Kirsten: (standing) y'know Sandy's right its late...an besides...I have a show home waiting for me in the morning Hailey: (with attitude) jus what Orange County needs another one'a dads show homes, airlifted from the mc mansion factory (Jimmy stands) an dropped from the sky Jimmy: the one the bluff that you mentioned that's-that's a great house Hailey: yeah if by great you mean over built over priced and exactly like this one (Kirsten & Sandy just look at her) Sandy: ooooh nice, Hailey nice Hailey: I was kidding Kirsten: I'm laughing on the inside Sandy: I'm not, your living in our home, your insulting my wife (Hailey looks at him, no longer smiling) your drivin my whole family crazy Hailey: is this true? Sandy: yeah an we all know what your doin here (Jimmy looks uncomfortable) Jimmy: she didn't mean anything its jus...sisters (puts his hand on Hailey's back) Sandy: no all this talk about plans about growing up, its shtick...its a routine...and its tired Kirsten: you know who's tired me so why don't we just stop Sandy: no honey stop protecting her (to Hailey) your not even nice to Kirsten and she is the only reason why we're putting up with ya Hailey: well (stands) you wont have to put up with me for much longer, ok (walks away, knocking over connect four) (they stand there not saying anything) Jimmy: (sighs)...sorry Kirsten: oh its not your fault Jimmy Jimmy: no I meant...the board game (they both look at him) CUT TO: The bathroom at the concert - Summer and Anna are standing at the sink together Summer: (sings) thankyou for bein a friend (Anna looks at her) (touching up her lipstick) travel down the road an back again Anna & Summer: your heart is true, your a pal and a confidante Summer: (laughs) you like the golden girls? Anna: yes Summer: there's a marathon on this weekend on lifetime, I cannot get that song outta my head Anna: I - LOVE - the golden girls, I mean its not Roses fault she just is that way Summer: your Rose? Anna: yeah Summer: I'm Blanch! Anna: aww Summer: y'know, its kinda weird that I relate to a seventy year old woman but Anna: how good was the episode when there was a black out Summer: um how bout when Rose adopts the pig Anna: and then Sophia loses her glasses an then she thinks that the pig is a baby Summer: yeaah Anna: its so funny (they both laugh) (Summer goes back to doing her lipstick and Anna looks at her, you can tell she cant bear to tell now) CUT TO: Out the front of the Cohen house - Jimmy walks out the front door and Hailey follows Hailey: Jimmy (Jimmy turns back) wait...sorry about that in there, my little...tantrum Jimmy: oh listen its-its complicated between you an your sister it always has ben Hailey: you gotta go?...like right now Jimmy: yeah I don't know if I ever told ya Hailey but I'm an extremely...important person and um (Hailey laughs) so I have ta (Hailey sits on the step) Jimmy: yeah no, Marissa's at a concert (sits next to her) uh-hm yep nothin but time Hailey: (smiling) for a few minutes didn't tonight feel like the good old days Jimmy yeah no actually it was more like two kind of... pathetic people grasping for the old days Hailey: right (laughs) that to Jimmy: I mean look the good old days I mean they w-there exactly that, would you really wanna be back in high school Hailey & Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I would to oooh Hailey: an you think I'm pathetic Jimmy: yes I do...its uh sad really (Hailey smiles, then kisses him) Hailey: (smiles) I always had a crush on you, you know that Jimmy: uh no I-I y'know y-you were eight when I went away to college so I-I wasn't (she kisses him again) look uh your um (raises eyebrows) Kirsten's sister Hailey: (raises eyebrows) so I've heard all my life Jimmy: (sighs) look you know we don't wanna make (stands) a complicated situation even more complicated right I mean (sighs) the last thing we need is having Sandy or Kirsten catching us (sighs) unless that's (sighs) what you we're hopin for (Hailey looks away) look your sister is amazing and Sandy is such a great guy...(Hailey looks at him) I think your lucky ta have them lookin out for you, I know that I am...I'm gonna go Hailey: (half smiles) ok (Jimmy gets in his car, and they smile at each other) CUT TO: The concert - we see the band for a little bit, then we see Marissa and Oliver standing together, moving their heads to the music, and smiling at each other - then we see Ryan who doesn't look happy - a bit more of the band - then back to Ryan who gets knocked into by some guy - more of Marissa and Oliver - more of the band - more of Marissa and Oliver, still smiling - Ryan trying to make his way through the crowd, it doesn't look like he's enjoying himself. he finally gets to where Oliver and Marissa are Ryan: (to Marissa) hey I'm gonnoo ah Oliver: hey this is great right Marissa: perfect Ryan: (looks at Oliver) (to Marissa) come here a second Marissa: kay (Marissa & Ryan push through the crowd) (Oliver rubs his nose, scratches his head and looks nervous/edgy like before - Ryan & Marissa make their way through the crowd, Marissa stops near a brick wall & Ryan pushes her against it & kisses her) Marissa: (laughs) what're we doing? Ryan: this is better Marissa: wait but we're missing the concert, an we cant ditch Oliver Ryan: Oliver's fine. he's friends with the band Marissa: and with us. hey I thought you said you wanted us to hang out with friends Ryan: you've known him for 2 weeks how good a friend can he be Marissa: (sighs) look he's in recovery tryin'a stay clean, I don't know we can talk about stuff, he tells me things what he's going through Ryan: not like me, right Marissa: I didn't say that (Ryan doesn't say anything) (sighs) look I know you didn't wanna come here tonight so I mean I guess if you wanna leave Ryan: (looks at her) right, later (walks away) Marissa: (shocked) w- (watches him disappear in the crowd) (we see the band, then we see Ryan pushing his way through the crowd, he goes by Luke & Seth standing together) Luke: (really badly singing) sh-sh-shoo shake it, sh shake it up sh-sh-shoo shake it Seth: (looks mortified) hey Luke Luke: (still singing) sh shake it up Seth: hey man you know who sings this song Luke: (yells) Rooney whoohoo (laughs & jumps up & down) Rooney Seth: (to himself) I wish he'd keep it that way Luke: (yells) yeeeeaaah Rooney! (Seth just has his mouth open, disbelievingly) (more of the band, then we see Ryan coming out of the door to outside, he starts walking then hears a noise and talking) Oliver: (o.s) what the hell man (we now see Oliver is being held against the fence by a man) Oliver: (pushes the guy) get off'a me (Ryan sees & runs towards him) Ryan: hey! hey (grabs the guy who has Oliver, around the waist) Cop: (pushes Ryan off) get off'a me, I'm a cop (shows his badge) Ryan: (confused) what? there's gotta be some kinda mistake Cop: (handcuffing Oliver) yeah his he just tried ta buy three grams'a coke from me (Ryan is stunned. The cop leads Oliver away) Oliver: Ryan go back inside, don't tell anyone CUT TO: Inside the concert - Ryan is pushing his way through the crowd again, we then see Seth at the bar trying to buy some drinks Seth: excuse me uh...barkeep sir (the bar keep stands picks up glasses then crouches again, completely ignoring Seth) if you could jus (makes a motion like he's trying to physically grab him out of frustration) (Ryan walks up) Ryan: hey Seth: hey Bar keep: (to Ryan) what can I get ya? Seth: how did you do that? (Ryan looks at him) the usual Ryan: mountain dew Bar keep: how many Seth: unfortunately three (Ryan puts up 3 fingers to the bar keep) Seth: so Anna's telling Summer that we're a couple an when they get back I will officially be in a relationship with Anna, y'know unless Summer kills me in which case you've ben like a brother to me Ryan: glad to hear it cause I kinda need your keys an your phone Seth: yeah, you ok? Ryan: I'm fine its...Oliver Seth: what! what's goin on (hands him the keys and phone) Ryan: tell ya later? Seth: yeah alright, your gonna miss a hell of a show though man (Ryan walks away) an Rooney's not bad either (turns back to the bar, he still doesn't have the drinks) CUT TO: The Cohen kitchen - Kirsten walks in, Sandy is already in there Kirsten: has Jimmy gone Sandy: yeah...is she alright? Kirsten: I knocked, she didn't answer Sandy: well maybe she's given us the house back for the night Kirsten: or maybe she's packing an when we wake up in the morning she'll be gone an frankly...id rather have her here where I can keep an eye on her then anywhere else (phone rings) Sandy: well you cant keep her here forever I mean its no good for her an its no good for us (answers the phone) hello...hey what's wrong...where are ya...ill be right there (hangs up) Ryan's at the police station (Kirsten looks worried) CUT TO: The concert - Seth is finally given the drinks, he throws the money at the bar keep and looks fed up. he picks the drinks up and starts to walk away. Rooney just finished a song Rooney: thankyou Newport beach, goodnight everybody thankyou (cheers & clapping) (Seth rolls his eyes, and cant believe it. he starts walking through the crowd. Anna comes up behind him) Anna: Seth! Seth: hey Anna: where have you ben? Seth: I've ben at the bar (points) how did it go Anna: it was amazing they played the whole album Seth: no not with Rooney how did it go with Summer (Summer comes up behind him, but they don't see her) did you tell her? Summer: tell me what? (Seth turns around and doesn't say anything - we now go backstage, Seth & Anna are standing in front of Summer who is sitting on the couch eating) Summer: so your a couple Seth: no Anna: yes (Anna looks at him) Seth: th-that is we wanted to tell you first before we officially became a couple which now yes we are Summer: so you chose Anna Seth: nooooo (Anna looks at him) kind of yeah uh she came over on New Years Eve Summer: (to Anna) but you were with me on New Years Eve Anna: um ac-technically Summer you were with that guy Allan remember (Summer frowns) and you kept insisting that I go find someone to kiss so...I did Seth: yeah I was taking out the garbage she was in the driveway you know how these things go Summer: ok...well congrats (eats carrot) (Seth & Anna look at each other) Seth: your not...mad Summer: eh uh-uh Anna: (relieved) oh good because I really didn't want this to affect our relationship in any way Summer: well Anna I have ta say that Rose would've never pulled that New Years stunt on Blanch Seth: (mouths) rose Anna: I know, I'm sorry Summer: although... Blanch would've done it to Rose so (shrugs) Seth: uh so... can we still all hang out, will you be cool with that Anna: cause we both really like that if we could hang out Seth: yeah Summer: (smiles) sure, you guys we can totally hang out, I mean infact what're you guys doing right now (Seth & Anna look at each other) CUT TO: The police station - Sandy comes into where Ryan is sitting on a bench Sandy: so, there gonna let him go (sits) Ryan: really? how'd you do that? Sandy: I'm jus that good, an I use to play poker with these guys Ryan: thanks for doin this, you didn't have to really Sandy: (sighs) is this kid a friend'a yours? Ryan: he's a friend'a Marissa's (sighs) they met in therapy, said he's ben clean for a while but Sandy: well they busted him tryin'a buy coke, an then he told me that his parents are out of the country for a month, can you believe that, apparently the kid lucked out on his own Ryan: yeah imagine that huh Sandy: (laughs) ill never understand it Ryan: I hope not Sandy: I'm glad you called me Ryan: me too (Oliver is led out by officers) Sandy: (stands) I'm gonna finish up your paper work, you sit tight, ill be right back Oliver: (sits) so, thanks, Seth's dad seems cool Ryan: he is Oliver: so why'd ya do this for me? I mean you don't even like me Ryan: I don't really know you Oliver: well if its any consolation, I don't like myself very much right now either Ryan: (sits forward) so what happened? Oliver: (sits forward) uh I don't know, Natalie didn't show an then I saw you an Marissa...an your friends...they hate me I have no one (Ryan looks down) my parents are gone, my friends (laughs) if you can even call em that (Ryan looks at him) they all disappeared when I got clean now I...(shakes his head) huh Ryan: there's Marissa, Seth likes your taste in music...and Luke pretty much likes everybody at this point (smiles) Oliver: (smiles) what about you? I mean you mus like me a little to get me outta jail Ryan: noo that was Sandy (smiles) (phone rings, he looks at it) Marissa Oliver: oh...you gonna tell her Ryan: no (hands Oliver the phone) you are (walks away) Oliver: (takes it) hey...yeah its Oliver CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - Sandy comes in, in his robe. he grabs the last bagel, then goes to the fridge and gets the butter. Sandy: hey whoa hey hey hey hey (Hailey has the bagel in her hand, he grabs it back) Hailey: I cant have half Sandy: there are other bagels Hailey: not salt bagels Sandy: do you know why that is, cause you ate them all an several sesame Hailey: (sincerely) I haven't ben the best guest, I know...an what you said tonight Sandy: oh hey hey III connect four was happening it-it it gets my blood up Hailey: (smiles) well...you were right Sandy: so what's the plan, you'll hit Caleb up for more cash, an then what? Europe this time, Iceland, Bolka Hailey: (frowns) I don't know (smiles) you know I see how happy you guys are an I think, why cant I have that Sandy: cause you don't want it Hailey: how do you know what I want, I don't even know what I want (sits at the table) Sandy: you could stay here, I mean not here exactly but y'know get a home (sits next to her) a job, settle down Hailey: no...see that's the thing, all I know is what I don't want Sandy: (eating half the bagel) well that's not entirely true (pushes the other half to her) an the rest...you'll figure out, good night (kisses her cheek) Hailey: (kisses back) good night (smiles) CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan is lying on the bed. Marissa comes in Marissa: (knock) hey Ryan: hey (begins to sit up) Marissa: no wait don't get up (she lays on top of him, with her head on his chest) thanks Ryan: he's not a bad guy Oliver he's- Marissa: (laughs) this may come as a shock to you but right now I don't wanna (softer) talk about Oliver (kisses him) (Seth & Anna walk in) Seth: (stops) oh hey Anna: oh Seth: wow uh kissing sorry (they stop & look over) about that, listen we're all gonna hang out inside but you guys are obviously alone together so uhhh do that	Plan: A: Hailey; Q: Who realizes she is no longer welcome at the Cohen residence? A: Oliver; Q: Who invites the gang to a Rooney concert? A: Ryan; Q: Who catches Oliver in a drug deal? A: a drug deal; Q: What does Ryan catch Oliver doing in the parking lot? A: difficulties; Q: How does Seth feel about telling Summer about his relationship with Anna? Summary: Hailey realizes she is no longer welcome at the Cohen residence. Oliver invites the gang to a Rooney concert, but Ryan catches him in a drug deal in the parking lot. Seth has difficulties telling Summer about his relationship with Anna.
[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- EVENING] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- NIGHT] (Grissom and Brass walk through the hallway. Grissom has a file folder tucked under his arm.) Grissom: Ecklie's been on me to finish the monthly stats, so I need a list of all the lab call-outs from dispatch as soon as you can. Brass: You'll have it by the end of shift tomorrow. Grissom: Thanks. Brass: So, you've been pulling a lot of doubles this week. Grissom: Yeah, it's about all I do. Brass: Have you been in touch with Sara? Grissom: We've talked a little. Brass: So where's she at? Grissom: San Francisco, visiting her mother. Brass: No, I mean -- that's nice. No, but I meant where's she at emotionally? You know, with respect to the two of you. Grissom: I can't speak for her. Brass: So speak for yourself. Grissom: I can't talk, I'm really busy. (Grissom walks away from Brass. He continues through the hallway and around reception. He heads into his office. Archie walks by.) (We follow Archie through the hallway as he reads through a file. He has a camera over his shoulder.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE - NIGHT - SCENARIO 1] (Archie enters the garage. He stops in front of a counter with stacks of cocaine in bundles. He puts the file folder down and removes the camera off his shoulders.) (He puts his goggles on and opens the case with more evidence - bundles of cocaine.) (Archie takes the top bundle out, places it on another bundle on the counter, picks up the digital camera and takes a photo of it.) (He puts the camera down and logs it on the clipboard.) (He reaches into the case and takes the same bundle out and puts it on another bundle on the counter. He picks up the camera, takes a photo, then logs it on the clipboard.) (He reaches for the next bundle in the case, lifts, and - BOOM! -- the case explodes in Archie's face. The force of the explosion throws Archie backward and shatters the glass in the doors to the garage.) (Fire alarms blare. People run out along the hallways.) (Hodges saunters into the smoking garage. He sees debris on the floor and poor Archie dead in white cocaine. His chest is bloodied from the explosion.) (Hodges laughs maniacally in evil glee.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM - NIGHT] (Hodges clasps his hands together in evil glee. He has file folders open in front of him along with his lunch as he talks with Wendy.) Wendy: So Archie's in the garage, he's documenting evidence from a drug bust, he picks up a thing of coke, and then it blows up in his face? Hodges: No. He picks up a cellophane and duct-tape-wrapped kilo of coke, and the third one from the top of the stack blows up in his face. Wendy: Oh. Hodges: It's important to be specific. Wendy: Okay, well, this game is not as much fun as I thought it was going to be [SCENE_BREAK] Hodges: It's not a game, it's a thought experiment. If you want to be a good criminalist -- Wendy: I am a good criminalist. Hodges: If you want to be a better criminalist, then you have to learn to train to -- Wendy: Learn to think like a criminal. I know. Hodges: Look, I'm sure Grissom's told you--well, maybe not you, but he's told me many times--that we speak for the dead. Think of this exercise as a way for the dead to speak for themselves. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE - SCENARIO 1] (We PAN across the floor and come upon Archie's dead body covered with white cocaine powder. His chest is bloodied from the explosion.) Wendy: (V.O.) But that's not actually what this is-- Hodges: (V.O.) It's a chance for you to be a CSI. The only thing you need to do is answer two simple questions. ("Dead" Archie's eyes pop open and he looks DIRECTLY at the CAMERA.) Dead Archie: Whodunit and how? (His eyes close and head lolls back to the floor.) FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE - SCENARIO 1] (White powdered cocaine dusts the floor and shows various shoe print voids and a large Archie-sized body-shaped void.) (Archie's body is on the gurney being pushed out by Robbins and David Phillips, who are both wearing masks.) Hodges: (V.O.) After HazMat cleans up the scene ... the coroner does his thing ... (On his way out, David Phillips passes Nick and Warrick on their way in. Both Nick and Warrick are wearing masks along with matching blue FORENSICS coveralls.) David Phillips: No sign of sexual trauma. Wendy: (V.O.) What? Hodges: (V.O.) I believe he's legally required to check. (Nick and Warrick turn around and pull their masks down. They're both crying from the death of their friend.) Hodges: (V.O.) What the CSIs realize is -- Nick: (chokes) I can't believe Archie's gone. Warrick: (voice breaking) He was too good for this world. (Both Nick and Warrick sob loudly. Warrick covers his face with his hand.) CUT BACK TO: [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: What? They would be very upset. (Hodges stares at Wendy.) Hodges: Can we at least stipulate that they heroically contain their bereavement? Wendy: Yes, I suppose Archie could live with that ... so to speak. Hodges: Thank you. Wendy: Mm-hmm. [INT. CSI - GARAGE - SCENARIO 1] Hodges: (V.O.) What the CSIs realize is ... (On his way out, David Phillips passes Nick and Warrick on their way in. Both Nick and Warrick are wearing masks along with matching blue FORENSICS coveralls. Nick and Warrick turn around and pull their masks down.) Nick: It's gotta be the dealer. Warrick: Yeah, he booby-trapped the stash so if the cops got the drugs ... [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: (interrupts) Then they would get the boom along with it? Right? Am I right? Hodges: No, you're wrong. Just let me finish the setup, okay? Wendy: Sorry. [INT. CSI - GARAGE - SCENARIO 1] (The evidence in the garage is cleaned and sorted in various bins.) Hodges: (V.O.) What the CSIs finally realize is ... Wendy: (interrupts) They sorted everything already? That was quick. Hodges: (V.O.) Can you just let me finish! (Nick steps up and center. He reads through a file and records his notes on the micro-cassette recorder.) Nick: (to recorder) According to this, twenty bricks of coke were logged into evidence just past midnight. The explosion occurred about a half an hour later. But there are twenty-one wrappers here. And since no one entered or exited the lab during that time frame, it means the explosive was planted in the suitcase here. Which means ... [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Hodges: The killer is someone in the lab. Wendy: Well, if the killer is someone who works in the lab, then he could just tamper with the evidence. Which means that there's really no way for me to solve this thing, this a trick question. Hodges: No, no, no, that's not what I want ... (click) Hodges: My shoelace is untied. Excuse me. (Hodges bends down to attend to it under the table.) Wendy: Okay. Hodges: (muffled) Okay, um ... wouldn't, how about this. (Wendy reaches over and looks at papers in Hodges' file.) Since it would be pretty risky for the killer to tamper with evidence during a full-on investigation in the lab ... let's just say, for the purposes of this exercise, -- (Hodges sits up.) Hodges: -- that can't happen. Wendy: Okay. Now what? Hodges: That's up to you. You have the setup. You run the investigation from here. Simple Q & A. You ask, I answer. Wendy: Truthfully? Hodges: Absolutely. No lying-- call that a rule. Wendy: Well, what if I get close to actually figuring it out, you're not just gonna change who did it or something like that? Hodges: No revisionism-- also a rule. Wendy: For something that's not a game, it sure does have a lot of rules. Hodges: You want to do this or not? Wendy: All right. Okay. I guess the first thing that I would do would be to examine the actual bomb mechanism to see if there's any clue as to who might have built it. Hodges: Good idea. Because there are a lot of clues. [INT. CSI -- LAYOUT ROOM - SCENARIO 1] (Nick sets out the bomb parts on the layout table. He records his notes in his micro-cassette tape recorder.) Nick: (to tape recorder) Chemicals have been sent to Trace for ID, but the bomb appears to be a binary explosive. (Quick flashback to: The killer packs the cocaine bricks in the case.) Nick: (V.O.) Killer hides the loaded brick amongst the others ... CGI ZOOM to the mechanism between the cocaine bricks.) Nick: (V.O.) ... and pressure arms it ... (The pressure breaks the ampoule and the red liquid bubbles out.) Nick: (V.O.) Liquid "A" in ampoule mixes with solid "B", creating an unstable chemical explosive ... END CGI ZOOM (Flashback to: Archie reaches for the cocaine brick in the case.) Nick: (V.O.) All you need to do is move it. (He picks it up and triggers it.) BOOM! BACK TO SCENARIO (Nick turns the recorder off and looks at the bomb parts on the table.) (He's quiet as he waits.) (He leans in forward to look intently at the blasting cap on the table.) ( ... and he waits ... ) ( ... his eyes slide toward the CAMERA ... he looks DIRECTLY at the CAMERA ... and nudges his head toward the blasting cap on the table.) (CAMERA moves down to the blasting cap on the table ... then moves back up to NICK.) (What? Still don't get it?) (Nick picks up the blasting cap with two fingers and holds it up to the camera.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: Ooh, I have an idea. [INT. CSI -- LAYOUT ROOM - SCENARIO 1] (Finally!) Hodges: (V.O.) What? Wendy: (V.O.) What about the blasting caps? (Nick nods with approval.) (He goes back into position and looks intently at the blasting cap.) Hodges: (V.O.) Ah, well, what do you know? XCU: LEG WIRES Hodges: (V.O.) The leg wires are color coded. Wendy: (V.O.) Good, -- [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: -- 'cause the color coding is manufacturer specific. So now we can track down the source. Hodges: Indeed we could. (Archie - alive and breathing - walks in. He knocks on the door as he enters.) Archie: Hey, people. What's going on? (He walks over to the refrigerator.) Hodges: Nothing. Wendy: You look ... better. (Wendy turns and smiles at Hodges.) Hodges: Let's say you learn that LVPD recently seized one dozen commercial grade blasting caps in an arson-explosives raid, and that the lab was processing the case evidence. Wendy: Well, then, I know exactly where I'd go next ... [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB - SCENARIO 1] (Bobby walks into the gun locker with Warrick and Nick.) Bobby Dawson: 'Course I know where those blasting caps are. They're right in here. (Bobby walks around the gun cage to the locked cabinet under it.) Wendy: (V.O.) No, no, no, no, no. (Warrick rushes to stop him.) Warrick: Not so fast, cowboy. Give me those keys. (Bobby gives the keys to Warrick. Warrick unlocks it.) (Nick motions for Bobby to step aside.) (Warrick checks the lock. Nick checks the cabinet for the blasting caps. Nick picks up the box and checks it. He finds one missing.) Nick: Looks like you're one blasting cap shy, Bob. Bobby Dawson: That's not possible. No. (He shakes his head. Nick looks intently at him.) Bobby Dawson: Wait ... Y'all don't think I had something to do with ... (He looks at both of them.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Archie drinks his coffee near the counter.) Archie: Are there any prints on the lock? Hodges: Excuse me, we're-- Archie: Playing a murder game. I know, I get it. I wanna play. (Archie sits down on the sofa.) Wendy: (confidentially) He says it's not a game. Archie: Well, I wanna play anyway. Hodges: No. Archie: Why not? Hodges: You're the dead guy. Archie: Oh. Well, then I'd have a vested interest in the outcome then, wouldn't I? Wendy: Oh, come on, I'll fill him in as we go along. Hodges: Fine. Archie: Yup. So. Are there any prints on the lock? [INT. CSI -- BALLISTICS - SCENARIO 1] (Warrick examines the lock.) Hodges: (V.O.) No, no prints. Just metal shavings. Warrick: Looks like this lock's been slipped. FLASH TO: Someone uses a knife to jimmy the lock. CGI ZOOM: Inside the lock. The knife slips the lock. END CGI [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Archie: So somebody stole the blasting cap from Ballistics to make it look like Bobby did it. Hodges: Nefarious, don't you think? Wendy: What about the chemicals that were used to make the explosive? Did we get anything back from Trace? (Hodges leans back.) Hodges: (smugly) You always get something from Trace. [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - SCENARIO 1] (As they walk through the hallway, Nick shares the findings with Warrick. They're both in their forensics overalls.) Nick: The explosive was liquid nitro-acetate and solid ammonium nitrate packed in baking soda. Warrick: To blend in with the rest of the cocaine bricks. Cute. Explosive liquids are generally pretty volatile. Did you ask Hodges if nitro-acetate has any special storage requirements? Hodges: (V.O.) It needs to be refrigerated. Nick: Yeah, he said it needed to be refrigerated. Warrick: Well, there's only so many refrigerators in the lab. Maybe "where" can get us to "who". [INT. REFIGERATOR 1] REVERSE VIEW (The door opens. Warrick and Nick look inside. There are various biohazard containers, test tubes on a rack, sample containers on a rack.) (They both shake their heads and close the door.) [INT. REFRIGERATOR 2] REVERSE VIEW (The door opens. There are various Erlenmeyer flasks and various brown bottles inside. Warrick pulls down a brown bottle and looks inside the fridge. Nick peers in over Warrick's shoulder.) (Warrick shakes his head, puts the brown bottle back on the shelf and closes the door.) [INT. REFRIGERATOR 3] REVERSE VIEW (The door opens. Nick kneels as he peers into the refrigerator with various food containers and ziplock bags of people's lunches. Warrick peers in over Nick's shoulders.) (Nothing there. The door closes.) [INT. CSI -- TOX - SCENARIO 1] (Nick opens the refrigerator door. Inside are brown bottles of SODIUM NITRATE and NITROGEN TETRA-HYDRIDE. Warrick talks with Henry.) Henry: What are you guys looking for? Warrick: I'm sorry, we can't tell you that, Henry. Nick: Nitrogen tetra-hydride ... Hodges: (V.O.) Sodium - [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Hodges: -- nitrate. Wendy: Wait, what happens when you mix those two compounds? [INT. CSI - TOX - SCENARIO 1] Nick: They produce nitro-acetate. Warrick: That's a high explosive binary, Henry. Henry: (nervously) Really? I didn't know that. (Nick picks up the open box of BRENNER'S BEST Baking Soda.) Henry: Look, just 'cause I have those compounds in my fridge doesn't mean I used them to make nitro-acetate. (Nick picks up the box of baking soda and walks over to Henry.) Henry: You can't prove that. Nick: Baking soda was used to conceal the explosive, smartass. Henry: (nods) It's also used to absorb odors. Nice smell is a priority of my life. Warrick: I think the baking soda was used to absorb a lot more than odors, Henry. (Quick flashback to: Henry nervously looks around, then opens his refrigerator. He puts an open beaker with a mixture on the shelf next to the baking soda. The masking tape note across the beaker reads: DO NOT TOUCH.) (Henry leaves.) CGI OF: The odors from the open beaker rise up and are absorbed by the baking soda. BACK TO SCENARIO [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - SCENARIO 1] (Henry looks nervously at Brass. Brass glares at Henry as he picks up the chair and turns it around excruciatingly slow. He puts it down firmly, deliberately. Brass' steely gaze penetrates straight into Henry's guilty soul as he ever so slowly straddles the seat.) (The pressure is too much for poor Henry.) Henry: (blurts) Okay, I confess! I did it! [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Archie: (huh?) Henry? Why would Henry kill me? Wendy: (confidentially) We're not supposed to care about the why. Archie: Whatever. (Archie gets up and walks out of the BREAKROOM.) [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS] (He passes Nick and Warrick headed in the opposite direction.) Archie: Hey, fellas. Warrick: Hey. Archie: (scoffs) Thanks for giving me justice at least. Nick: (no clue) Yeah, you're welcome. (We stay with NICK and WARRICK as they continue through the hallway.) Nick: Man, I don't know if I'm more tired or hungry right now. You wanna get something to eat? Warrick: Yeah. Actually, I felt like a little Pai Gow or some Blackjack. Let's hit the strip. Nick: After the shift we just pulled? Warrick: Yeah. I just drank one of those energy drinks. I probably won't sleep for another couple hours. Nick: (groans tiredly) I don't think so, man. Maybe another time, huh? Warrick: All right. (Warrick leaves.) Nick: I'll catch ya later. [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS] (Grissom is working at his desk when Nick walks in.) Nick: All right, Grissom. That's it for me. I'm out of here. Grissom: Have a nice day. (Nick lingers.) Nick: Yeah, I'm going over to Frank's to grab something to eat. I'll probably be there for at least an hour if you want to ... if you want to join me. (Nick nods and heads for the door. He turns around.) Nick: You know, we don't have to talk about anything in particular. Just two guys having breakfast. I just don't think it's good for people to be alone too much. (Nick backs out the door.) Nick: If you want to, cool. If not, cool. Whatever. (Nick leaves.) (Grissom goes back to work.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Mandy walks in and smiles at Wendy and Hodges.) Mandy: How are you. (Hodges moves the folders around to cover whatever it is he doesn't want her to see.) (Mandy plops down in the empty chair at the table and looks at them.) Mandy: Rack 'em up. Hodges: Excuse me? Mandy: Well, word on campus is, there's a murder game going on. Wendy: Oh, no, no, no, it's not a game. It's a thought experiment. Hodges: Sounds like the late Archie Johnson has a big mouth. Mandy: Come on, please, it's been really slow at Prints all day. (enthusiastically) Who we killin'? (Hodges and Wendy share a look.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TOX - SCENARIO 2] (Mandy walks in while reading a file.) Mandy: Henry, I need the tox on that lady..um ... (In the background, we have a view of the freezer. Henry's face is plastered up against the window.) (Mandy turns, sees him and screams.) Mandy: Hen-ry! (Poor Henry's frozen cheek is stuck to the glass in the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - SCENARIO 2] (Poor frozen Henry with his flat face is on the table. David Phillips and Robbins stand over him.) David Phillips: No sign of sexual trauma. Robbins: Thank God for small favors. (David taps Henry's chest.) You know, David, our job is never easy, but this is a colleague. If your emotions are too raw and you feel you need to excuse yourself ... David Phillips: (interrupts) Look. (David taps Henry's chest. There's a crunchy sound.) David Phillips: He's crunchy. Robbins: Um ... (David cuts open Henry's lab coat.) David Phillips: Frozen sweat stains. Yuck. Robbins: He was trapped in a small space at minus ten degrees centigrade. So it's fair to assume he was exerting himself in a state of mind-numbing terror. David Phillips: How long do you think he was stuck in there? (Robbins taps Henry's frozen cheek. It cracks.) Robbins: Well, several hours at least. Time of exposure in extreme cold is difficult to gauge physiologically. Why don't you let me know when he softens up and we'll start cutting. (Robbins starts to leave.) David Phillips: So we're just going to wait for him to thaw? Robbins: What do you want me to do, stick him in a microwave? Sound: MICROWAVE BEEPING [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Mandy opens the microwave oven and pulls out her pop tart.) Mandy: Ooh ... Hot ... hot, hot, hot. (She takes her seat at the table.) Mandy: So, then, okay, Henry froze to death. Wendy: Well, maybe not. Because if the autopsy hasn't been performed yet, then we can't be sure that's COD. Hodges: Well played, Simms. So it takes a few turns for the autopsy results to get back. Mandy: Turns? Hodges: Hours. A few hours. So, while you're waiting for the autopsy results, what do you do in the meantime? Wendy: Well, the CSIs would process the freezer. Did they find anything? Hodges: A virtual cornucopia. FLASH TO: [INT. CSI - TOX FREEZER - SCENARIO 2] VARIOUS FLASHES OF labels for METHYL-ETHYL KETONE, CHLOROFORM. Broken glass is on the floor. (Evidence markers 5 & 6 mark glass and an empty test tube rack.) FLASH TO: (Catherine stands in the doorway and takes photos of the mess on the floor. She looks around.) Catherine: (to recorder) The condition of the interior could be the result of a struggle, or the simple, understandable panic of a man trapped inside a freezer. In any event, the emergency release handle appears to have been bent and rendered inoperative, and several chemical containers broken in the process possibly releasing chloroform and methyl ethyl ketone into the space. I'm sending samples to Trace to confirm. (Catherine turns the recorder off. She laughs with girlish appreciation.) Catherine: Trace. Is there anything you can't do? Wendy: (V.O.) Hodges. [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Hodges: Sorry. [INT. CSI - TOX FREEZER - SCENARIO 2] (Catherine closes the freezer door and checks the outside lock.) Catherine: (to recorder) This could be a case of lab geek humor gone wrong. (Quick flashback to: Henry carries the tray of test tubes into the freezer. Someone closes the door behind him.) (Inside the freezer, Henry glances behind him and puts the tray on the shelf. He heads for the door.) (Someone on the outside secures the pin in the door.) (Inside the freezer, Henry can't open the door.) Henry: Hello? (He tries the door. It still doesn't open.) Henry: Hello! (Henry knocks on the door.) Henry: Hello?! It's not funny! (He pulls the emergency release handle too hard. It slips from his grip and he knocks the chemical bottles off the shelf behind him. The bottles smash on the floor and combined gasses are released.) (Henry inhales the toxic fumes. The image of a skull rises in the green smoke. It's a deadly combination.) Henry: Oh, my God. (Henry looks at the release handle in his hand. It came off.) Henry: Oh, my God. (He turns to try to fix the door to get out.) Henry: Oh, my God, help! (It doesn't work. He panics, shouts and pounds on the door. Henry: Help me! (Henry presses his face to the frosted glass.) Henry: (muffled) Please help! FLASH TO: [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Mandy: So the merry prankster comes back later, sees the joke gone bad, then he just yanks the pin and scrams. (Hodges shrugs.) Wendy: You said that the emergency release plunger was bent. Hodges: Mm-hmm. Wendy: Well, that thing is made of solid steel. How could Henry do that? Mandy: Adrenaline kicks in when he finally realizes that he's dying. So, maybe in the moment of crisis, Henry has the strength of ten men. (beat) Ten small men. (Mandy chuckles.) Hodges: "Maybe." That word always looks so good on a case report. Wendy: Was there any evidence on the handle on the outside of the freezer? Hodges: Just a schmear. [INT. CSI - TOX - SCENARIO 2] (Catherine checks the pin and finds the schmear.) Hodges: (V.O.) Sugar, soy protein, partially hydrogenated vegetable oils, roasted nuts. (Catherine straightens and drops the pin.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: Peanut butter? Mandy: (o.s.) Well, killer's got to eat, too. CU: PHOTOS - of a pair of gloves in a trashcan, of peanut butter on the gloves' fingertips and of the peanut-buttered latex fingertips. Wendy: (V.O.) So, CSIs would check every trashcan and every biohazard disposal unit in the whole lab. Hodges: (V.O.) Yes, they would, and they would find ... [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - SCENARIO 2] (Bobby Dawson sits at the table looking at the incriminating photos.) (Brass picks up the chair, turns it around and sets it down. He spreads his arms out wide at Bobby.) Brass: What, no jelly? We found the peanut butter from inside your glove. It matches the stuff we found on the freezer door handle. (Brass walks behind Bobby and puts his hands on his shoulders.) Brass: Chunky, right? Bobby Dawson: I didn't kill Henry. Brass: Well, not on purpose. Bobby Dawson: No, not even by accident. (Brass deliberately places his hands on Bobby's shoulders.) Bobby Dawson: I only had a couple of minutes for lunch, and I had a bunch of photo emulsion sheets that needed to be stored. And I store them in the freezer. Brass: You seem very tense. Bobby Dawson: You know, I don't really like being persecuted. Brass: Yeah. (Brass goes back to his chair and straddles it. He glares at Bobby.) (Brass mouths.) Hodges: (v.o., raspy) Get used to it, punk. [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: No, I don't know about that. Hodges: What? Wendy: Well, Bobby's a gun guy. Gun guys shoot people. Mandy: Gun guys don't shoot people. People shoot people. Hodges: Actually, bullets shoot people, shot from guns which are usually in the hands of gun guys. Wendy: Can we get the autopsy results? Hodges: Well, I guess Henry's had enough time to defrost. COD was not, in fact, due to hypothermia. Mandy: Ooh, wait, no, I can guess what they found in Tox. It was chloroform. Hodges: Nope. Wendy: Methyl ethyl ether? Hodges: PCP. Wendy: What? Hodges: Massive, overdose amounts of PCP. Commonly known as phencyclidine, or angel dust. CGI SHOT (ZOOM through the nerves and synapses with blue lights flashing.) Hodges: (V.O.) PCP blocks the brain's NMDA receptors, hypothalamus goes nuts, resulting in anxiety, confusion, and fever-like overheating. FLASH TO: FLASHBACK (Henry is in the freezer, shouting and moving erratically in place as he pulls on his hair.) (Henry runs to the freezer, opens the door and runs inside.) Mandy: (V.O.) So Henry goes into the cooler to cool off ... (In the freezer, Henry is all over the place. He pulls the emergency door handle off.) Wendy: And with the PCP stimulating his adrenal glands, he has the strength of the Incredible Hulk. (He turns, yells and knocks over the chemical bottles off the shelves.) Henry: (V.O.) A duster? [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Henry is in the doorway.) Henry: (offended) You made me a lousy duster? That is totally bogus! Okay, aside from the 10,000 other reasons why I'd be crazy to even try that junk, if I were a closet PCP freak, I wouldn't do it in the lab. Hodges: That's very professional. (Hodges moves the books stacked on the table.) Henry: Archie told me about your sick little thought experiment, and I want to play. But I still can't believe, even hypothetically, you'd do something like this to me. (Henry joins them at the table.) Mandy: Well, Henry, I hypothetically called your mother and I explained everything. (whispers) That woman is a crier. Wendy: Your autopsy didn't mention powder in his nasal passages or PCP damage in his lungs. Hodges: That's because it wasn't there. Mandy: So Henry didn't inhale it, or smoke it, or snort it? Hodges: No, he didn't. (Hodges takes a chip out of the bag.) Henry: Then how did the PCP get into my system? Hodges: You tell me. (Hodges pops the potato chip in his mouth and crunches. Everyone is quiet as they think about it.) Wendy: Oh! Crusty pits. (Henry glances down at his shirt.) Wendy: Sweat stains. You said that Henry's lab coat had big sweat stains on the collar and on the armpits. So that's it -- somebody dosed the coat. (Hodges nods.) [INT. CSI - LAB - SCENARIO 2] (Catherine takes a sample of Henry's lab coat and tests it for PCP. It comes out positive. Catherine: (to recording) Lab coat tests positive for PCP. Combined with body heat and sweat, the drug must've entered his system transdermally. (sighs) Like a nicotine patch from hell. [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: Well, Henry would've died of an overdose no matter what. So, all the trapping him in the freezer with the chemicals spilling, that was all completely incidental. Hodges: It was the logical outcome of the initial crime. Mandy: And it's quite funny. Henry: Hey. Hodges: Well, we're not done yet. Mandy: Who did the deed? Well, taking lab coats off the premises is against regulations. So the PCP would've had to have been applied in the lab, right under our noses. Henry: And that stuff reeks. I have to crank my fume hood up full whenever I work with it, I still go home with a headache. Mandy: Fume hoods. There's fume hoods in the garage, and DNA and Trace. [INT. CSI - LAB - SCENARIO 2] (Catherine swabs the sink.) Mandy: (V.O.) So we would have to test all the sinks for PCP. Hodges: (V.O.) Excellent. That's a good approach. (She cuts the swab and tests it for PCP.) Hodges: (V.O.) It's well considered, thorough and thoughtful, but you would find nothing. (The test is negative.) Wendy: (V.O.) Really? Hodges: (V.O.) Yeah, there's no trace of PCP in any of sinks. Squeaky clean. (Catherine looks at the negative result and thinks about it.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: Damn it. [INT. CSI - LAB - SCENARIO 2] (Catherine looks at the open tank with a plant growing inside.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Wendy thinks about it. Everyone is quiet as they think about it.) [INT. CSI - LAB - SCENARIO 2] (Catherine snaps her fingers in front of the open tank with the plant in it.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: Oh! Wait. (She smiles) I got it, check the plant. [INT. CSI - LAB - SCENARIO 2] (Catherine looks straight at the CAMERA: DUH!) Hodges: (V.O.) You got it. (Catherine rolls her eyes as she takes a sample of the plant.) FLASH TO: (The killer empties the mixture into the sink. The fumes from the sink rises up and are absorbed by the plant in the open tank.) Hodges: (V.O.) The killer cleaned up, but he left one witness. (The killer watches the mixture go down the drain. The killer faces the sink. CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL that the killer is WENDY.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Henry: (accusing) Wendy. Wendy: (meekly) Me? (Mandy's phone beeps. She checks her messages and groans.) Mandy: Oh, drat. (She closes her phone and gets up.) Mandy: Well, it's not a slow day for me after all. Ecklie wants me to pick up the backlog from swing. Somebody please tell me who dies next. And how. Thank you. (Mandy leaves.) (Wendy smiles and leans on the table toward Hodges.) Wendy: So ... you got time for one more? (Hodges leans on the table toward Wendy.) Hodges: Well, someone's having fun. Wendy: Maybe a little. Hodges: You're not bad at this. (Henry looks around the BREAKROOM awkwardly.) Wendy: Thanks. I've been thinking about taking the CSI field test. This is actually really good theory and practice for me. Hodges: The field test? Wendy: Yeah. (Hodges nods.) Wendy: What? Why? Hodges: Nothing. Wendy: Nothing? Hodges: That's right. A great big pile of nothing. From me, to you. (Wendy doesn't like the sound of that.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY] (Catherine finds Grissom in the hallway near the BREAKROOM.) Catherine: Oh, hey. How are you? (They walk away from the BREAKROOM.) Grissom: Why? Catherine: I can't ask how you're doing? Grissom: I'm sorry. I've just had a lot of ... uh ... I've been busy. Catherine: Oh. Well, maybe you should take a few days off, for once in your career. I mean, you've got enough stored up. Go after her. (Grissom looks at her.) Grissom: It's not what she wants. Catherine: What do you want? Grissom: I want her to be happy. (Grissom walks away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Hodges: (teases) Field Agent Simms. Wendy: Stop it. Henry: Hey, I think it's got a nice ring to it. Wendy: Thank you. Hodges: Here she comes, flashing her badge, taking down perps. Wendy: (annoyed) Why is even potential advancement so threatening to you? Hodges: Hey, Sanders left the lab, he got his ass kicked. I'm just saying. Henry: All right, come on, let's do another one. Hodges: Okay. Fine. (smirks) Let's. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - EVIDENCE LOCKER - SCENARIO 3] (The corner of the table is stained with blood. We move slowly past the table and past the stepladder on wheels.) (On the floor is a black pump, evidence in bags are scattered all over the floor -- and Wendy dead in a pool of blood.) Wendy: (V.O.) Well, now, that's a little passive-aggressive, don't you think? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - EVIDENCE LOCKER - SCENARIO 3] VARIOUS CAMERA FLASHES OF - Wendy's head, her bare foot, her open hand, the shoe on her other foot. (Wendy is on the table. David is standing over her when Greg ducks under the tape and walks in.) David Phillips: (whispers) No sign of sexual trauma. Greg: (scoffs) No kidding. (David leaves with the gurney and Wendy's body. Greg looks around the room.) Greg: It appears as though the vic struck the edge of the table. (He takes a photo of the blood on the table. He looks at the mess on the floor.) Greg: The evidence on the floor is ... well, evidence. Brown paper bindle must have opened when it fell. Looks like the contents of a woman's purse. And here's the vic's other shoe. (Greg picks up Wendy's shoe.) Wendy: (V.O.) ... Square toe, low heel, stylish but affordable. [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Wendy: Flirty, not whory. Henry: You will be missed. [INT. CSI - EVIDENCE LOCKER - SCENARIO 3] Greg: There's an oily residue on the sole. (Greg notices the sheen under the shoe. He also notices the oily residue on the ladder.) (Quick flashback to: Wendy steps up on the ladder to reach a box on the top shelf. She stretches over, pulls the box, slips and falls, hitting her head on the table. End flashback.) (Greg is busy erasing the OSHA sign: THIS DEPARTMENT HAS WORKED 1659 DAYS WITHOUT A LOST TIME ACCIDENT.) (He erases the 1659 and replaces it with: 0.) Greg: (V.O.) The evidence appears to lead to an inescapable conclusion. This tragedy might have just simply been the result of an accident in the workplace. Wendy: (V.O.) I fell off a ladder? (Greg caps the pen.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Hodges goes to get a cup of coffee.) Hodges: Well, you are kind of a little clumsy. Wendy: Since when? Henry: It's endearing. Hodges: Are you satisfied with the explanation? Wendy: Uh, no. What about the oily residue on the ladder? CU: THE LADDER (ZOOM IN to show bristles in the oil.) Hodges: (V.O.) There are bristles in the oil, -- Wendy: (V.O.) -- which means that somebody brushed it on. (Greg notices the bristles in the oil.) Henry: (V.O.) What exactly is the oily stuff? [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Hodges sits down.) Hodges: Well, thank God ... [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - SCENARIO 3] Brass: (wistfully) ... for trace analysis. Hmm. Hodges, who is a genius and tragically underpaid, used the powers of his brilliant mind and the scientific method to discover that the oil that was brushed on the ladder - CU: TRACE ANALYSIS RESULTS SHEET Brass: -- was a Teflon-based two-part oil-a gun lubricant. (Brass points his index finger at Bobby as if pointing a gun.) Bobby Dawson: So? Bobby: So you're the gun guy, Bobby. Bobby Dawson: Yeah, which is exactly why I would never use Teflon-based two-part oil. (Brass puts his hands on Bobby's shoulders.) Bobby Dawson: Real gun guys hate that stuff. If it separates in the can, it separates in the gun. (Bobby starts to rise, Brass keeps him down in his seat.) Brass: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. You are tense. (Brass releases Bobby and moves away from him.) Brass: So, where do you think you're going? Bobby Dawson: Back to work. This is ridiculous. (Bobby starts to stand up again. Brass whirls around and opens his police BATON!) Brass: Oh. Sit down. (He taps Bobby firmly on the shoulder with his police BATON!) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Hodges turns as if slapped.) Hodges: Ow! Wendy: No, no. Captain Brass is not the kind of cop who smacks a suspect around. Henry: Really? He scares me. (click!) (Hodges grabs a file folder off the table and drops it on the floor.) Hodges: Oh, well, look who's the clumsy one now. Excuse me. (Hodges quickly ducks under the table. Henry takes the opportunity and confers with Wendy on the case.) Henry: Okay, so we don't have nearly enough to hold Bobby, right? Wendy: No. (Hodges gathers the files and papers and slams them on the BREAKROOM table.) Hodges: All right. Who's up for an autopsy? (Wendy smiles and raises her hand.) [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - SCENARIO 3] (Wendy is on the table. Robbins points to the slit in her throat as he explains his findings to Greg.) Robbins: The carotid-jugular complex was transected, -- (CAMERA starts to move downward toward dead Wendy's chest ... Robbins: -- and based on the placement and size of the wound, I'd say she had at ... Dead Wendy: (firmly) Hey! (CAMERA bounces back up to Wendy's neck.) Dead Wendy: It's a NECK WOUND !! (She glares at the camera.) (Wendy shuts her eyes again.) Robbins: Based on the placement and size of the neck wound, she was conscious 30 to 60 seconds before blood loss was fatal. Greg: That's a long time. No one reported her screaming or calling out for help. [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Henry: (interrupts) We have to get back to the case file. [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - SCENARIO 3] (Greg looks at the camera.) Greg: (mouths silently) I know. (He reaches off screen and grabs the case file. He opens it and looks at the photo of Wendy's hand.) Greg: There was no blood on her hands at the scene. Unless she was unconscious, she would have at least tried to stop the bleeding. Robbins: Well, there was no blow to the head. Greg: Do you think it's possible she was dead before she hit the table? Robbins: You mean like a cardiac event? (Greg nods.) Robbins: Well, I can't rule that out, but a healthy, 36-year-old having a heart attack? Wendy: (V.O.) Thirty-five in October, thank you very much. (Greg again looks at the photos of Wendy's hands. He compares it to her hand.) Greg: She has an oval, perimortem burn on her wrist. [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Henry: (interrupts) Wait a second. That's familiar. [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - SCENARIO 3] (Greg glares at the camera. He reaches off screen and grabs an evidence bag with the silver bracelet inside. He compares it to the markings on Wendy's wrist.) (Greg and Robbins share a look.) (Quick flashback to: Wendy reaches for the evidence box on the top shelf. She grunts as the bracelet on her wrist sizzles and burns right into her skin. The bracelet melts off and falls to the ground.) END FLASHBACK. [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Henry sighs regretfully.) Henry: Singed right off her barely 35-year-old wrist. (Wendy looks at her own wrist.) Wendy: That bracelet wasn't old evidence. I was wearing it. Hodges: Correct. Henry: So, what melts silver and stops your heart at the same time? Wendy: A bolt of lightning. Hodges: In the lab. Wendy: Electrocution. Henry: From what? Wendy: Something in the evidence locker. [INT. CSI - EVIDENCE LOCKER - SCENARIO 3] (Greg is back in the evidence locker. He's standing up on the ladder and looks at cut wiring from the nearby box. He follows the wiring to the vent.) (Inside the vent, he finds a battery.) Wendy: (V.O.) There was a motorcycle battery in the ventilation duct? (The cut wire is attached to the battery.) (Down below, Greg sees the wire attached to the evidence box.) Henry: (V.O.) Wired to the ladder and the evidence box? Hodges: (V.O.) Precisely. (Greg picks up the evidence box.) (Quick flash to: The electrical current sizzles as it passes from the battery to the handle of the evidence box.) POV - INSIDE THE EVIDENCE BOX (Wendy finds the box and grabs it by the handle hole. Her fingers grasp the foil plate. She's zapped by the electrical current and she's electrocuted.) FLASH TO: [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Hodges: Devilishly clever, wouldn't you say? Henry: No. Wendy: Well, who's the killer, Wile E. Coyote? Hodges: Well, what do you mean? Henry: It's ridiculous! Anyone could have walked in there. So, what, the victim's just random? Hodges: (lying) Uh, no. Wendy: How'd the killer get me up there in the first place? What did he do, pass me in the hall and say, "Hey, Wendy, go climb up that ladder and check out the case evidence you had absolutely nothing to do with?" Hodges: Not in those words exactly, but ... uh ... yeah. Wendy: That's completely unverifiable. Henry: This is so lame. (Hodges lowers his head to the table.) Hodges: (mutters) Scenario requires further revision. Wendy: (annoyed) Okay, what is that? Hodges: Nothing. (Wendy glances under the table. Hodges reaches for the tape recorder and rips it off the table it's taped to. He drops it in his case.) (uh-oh!) Wendy: Is that a tape recorder? Hodges: You are so paranoid. This thought experiment has now concluded. (Hodges shoves his things in his case.) Hodges: Thank you. (Henry stares at him, his mouth hanging open.) (Hodges quickly leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM] (Hodges shoves his things in his locker. The door opens and Wendy walks in.) Wendy: Why were you recording us? (He shoves his case in the locker.) Hodges: I wasn't recording you. Why would I record you? That makes no sense. (Wendy pushes the locker door open and a thin, long box falls out and open on the floor. Wendy kneels and picks up the cover. It's a board game.) Wendy: "Lab Rats." "The Game of Science and Murder." Hodges: (embarrassed) It's a prototype. Wendy: "Two to four players, ages eight and up." You're making a board game? (Hodges reaches down to pick up the game pieces off the floor.) Hodges: Well, it's not just a board game. Gets people to think. Wendy: Why were you recording us? Hodges: (sighs) I needed your help to flesh out scenarios, and I figured that if I hid the recorder, your answers would be candid and honest. Look, see. (He opens the board onto the bench in front of her to show her what he's made so far.) Hodges: It's like "Clue," only CSI-ier. Wendy: Hodges this is, uh ... this is kind of impressive. In a painfully sad, geek type of way. Hodges: Well, painfully sad geeks have a lot of spare time on their hands and loads of disposable income. "Lab Rats" could be a gold mine. (He reaches down to pick up the rest of the pieces. Wendy reaches for the velvet pull bag and opens it to look inside.) Wendy: Oh! (She pulls out the pieces and laughs.) Wendy: Little lab techs. Hodges: Mm-hmm. (She goes through the pieces. The names of the pieces are on the side and the detail is on the bottom of the piece.) Wendy: "Sandy Baxter, fingerprint fanatic." "Reggie Chang, eagled-eyed A/V expert." "Andrew Henries, top-notch tox tech." "Hodgkins." Hodgkins. Hodges: Mm-hmm. Wendy: You named yourself after cancer. (It never occurred to him. Wendy picks up the last piece. Hodges tries to stop her.) Hodges: Oh! (She pulls it away and reads it anyway.) Wendy: "Mindy Bimms, the clumsy yet buxom DNA tech." (she looks at the piece.) Clumsy yet buxom? Hodges: (shrugs) It's a redeeming feature. It's-it's a prototype. Wendy: (insulted) So, tell me, do you think that Mindy Bimms is clumsy because she's top-heavy? (She tosses the piece at Hodges. He flinches.) Wendy: Or do you just mean clumsy like this? (She knocks the board and the pieces off the bench and onto the floor.) Wendy: Oops. (Wendy gets up and heads for the door. She turns around.) Wendy: Okay, are you ... are you allergic to being honest with me? 'Cause the thing is, if you had actually asked me to help you with this game, I would have. But, no, you had to hide a tape recorder under a table and engage us all in this great big "thought experiment!" When in reality, it doesn't even matter, apparently, what I think because I'm just Mindy Big Boobs to you, and I ... You are the dumbest smart guy I know. Hodges: You think I'm smart? (Wendy rolls her eyes, turns and leaves the locker room.) (Hodges sighs heavily as he looks down at his game on the floor.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY - DAY] (Greg walks through the hallway. As he heads out, he passes Grissom.) Grissom: Night, Greg. Greg: (grunts) Yeah, whatever. (Grissom turns and looks back at Greg.) (Grissom continues walking.) Hodges: (o.s.) (high-pitched voice) Oh, Hodges, I'm so sorry. (Grissom does a double-take and sees Hodges in the breakroom looking forlornly at his board game set up on the table. He's playing with the pieces.) Hodges: It's just that I'm jealous of your intellect. (He maneuvers the Mindy Bimms game piece over a glass of water.) Hodges: (normal voice) But Wendy, you have so much to live for. Don't do it. You're too close to the edge. (He drops the Mindy Bimms game piece into the glass of water.) Hodges: (high-pitched voce) Oh, and now I'm drowning! Oh, God! Oh, God, help me. Help me. (Grissom stands in the doorway and stares at Hodges. What the hell--?) Grissom: What are you doing? (busted! Hodges looks up and finds Grissom there.) Hodges: Oh, uh ... (Hodges takes the Mindy Bimms game piece out of the water glass.) Hodges: (sighs) I was ... uh ... just trying to ... develop a board game - (Grissom walks into the BREAKROOM, his eyes on the board game on the table. He seems genuinely interested.) Hodges: -- based on this place, but not in any legally actionable sense. You get evidence, scenarios, analysis. Try to solve diabolical murders. (Hodges holds the Mindy Bimms game piece. Grissom takes it from him and looks at it. He looks at the board, the rooms, the pieces, the timer, the dice.) (Hodges waits.) Grissom: I like games. Hodges: Really? Grissom: Yeah. (Grissom sits down.) Hodges: Okay. Let's play. (Hodges picks up the board game cover and reads the blurb on the inside.) Hodges: What makes it hard to catch a killer? Is it the sheer destructive power of the murder itself that obliterates evidence - CAMERA SLIDES OVER TO: [INT. CSI - LAB] (Archie is in the lab documenting a case full of cocaine bricks.) Hodges: (V.O.) -- as it snuffs out life? (He looks at the case and pauses at the next brick. He reaches into the case and cautiously lifts the brick. There's no explosion.) (He lets out the breath he's been holding.) (He continues to work.) CAMERA SLIDES OVER TO: [INT. CSI -- TOX LAB] (Mandy walks into the lab.) Hodges: (V.O.) Or is it the chain of events the murder sets into motion which obscure the true crime? (She turns and sees Henry inside the freezer, his face plastered up against the glass. She rushes over to open the freezer. She grabs the handle and rattles it - (Henry moves. He's been faking it.) (Mandy gasps. He laughs and opens the freezer.) Henry: That was good. (Mandy whacks him on the arm.) CAMERA SLIDES OVER TO: [INT. CSI - EVIDENCE LOCKER] (Wendy is standing on the ladder. It moves and she gasps and grabs the ladder handle to keep from falling. She pauses a moment, spooked.) Hodges: (V.O.) Or is it a mechanism so complex and diabolical that it borders on the incredible? (She grabs the evidence box from the top shelf and climbs down.) CAMERA SLIDES OVER TO: [INT. CSI - A/V LAB - SCENARIO 4] ON MONITOR: HODGES talks directly to the monitor camera. Hodges: (from monitor) In truth, it is all these things, -- (PULL BACK to REVEAL: Hodges sits in front of the computer camera as he records himself.) Hodges: -- and all these things are the same. Because the only real way to catch a killer is to outsmart him ... and hope that he's not smarter than you. (Hodges smiles. He sits up straight.) BANG! (Hodges falls backward and rolls off the chair with a THUD!) ON CHAIR - empty and spinning round and round and round. ON HODGES - on the floor, dead - still wearing that grin and a bullet hole in his forehead. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] (Grissom looks at his notes.) Grissom: Your "speech" in front of your computer, and you take a bullet to the head. Hodges: No witnesses. Nobody heard the shot, and the killer is somebody in the lab. (not bad.) Grissom: Am I eligible? Hodges: In this scenario, no. Grissom: Okay. So during the basic process of the scene, what do I find? [INT. CSI - A/V LAB - SCENARIO 4] (Grissom kneels and looks at the bare floor where Hodges' body was. The chair in front of the computer is still spinning around and around and around.) Hodges: (V.O.) A single nine-millimeter casing at the doorway to Trace. (Grissom picks up the casing and looks at it. He looks around.) Grissom: Then my first blush theory is a walk-by. FLASH TO: (Someone walks past the lab, stops in front of the computer and shoot Hodges in the head. He drops the casing as Hodges falls to the floor with a thud. The killer leaves the lab and leaves the casing behind.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Grissom: I'm going to need the bullet. Hodges: Then I'm going to need an autopsy. [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - SCENARIO 4] (Hodges is on the autopsy table. David Phillips and Robbins are standing around the table. David bounces on his feet with anticipation. Robbins sighs with annoyance. David wiggles his eyebrows at Robbins, waiting for his cue. He smiles and nudges his head, waiting impatiently for Robbins to give him the cue.) Robbins: (annoyed) Get it out of your system! David Phillips: (bursts) No sign of sexual trauma. Robbins: (barks) Out! (David grins at him.) Robbins: (shouts) Now! (David turns and leaves with his head down.) (The door closes behind him.) (Robbins gets to work. He puts a plastic rod in the bullet hole in Hodges' forehead. The rod sticks straight up.) Robbins: All right, trajectory of the shot was roughly 90 degrees from vertical, straight through his noble skull. Bullet didn't exit. Grissom: (V.O.) Is it intact? FLASH TO: LATER (Robbins holds Hodges' brain and pulls the bullet out. He looks at the bullet.) Robbins: More or less. [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Grissom: IBIS. [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS - SCENARIO 4] (Grissom studies the bullet under the scope.) Hodges: (V.O.) The bullet's nose is significantly deformed and the lead base is pitted. But there are sufficient striae to get a match for what little it's worth. (Grissom runs the bullet through the computer database. He finds a match. He puts the two bullets and compares the striae. The computer beeps. It's a 99.936% match.) (He pulls up information on the gun.) Hodges: (V.O.) The gun came through the lab about a week ago in a buyback program and was subsequently destroyed. XCU: MONITOR (Disposition shows "destroyed.") [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Grissom: So you were shot by a weapon that no longer exists. Hodges: Apparently. (Grissom nods.) Grissom: Okay, let's go over your snuff film, shall we? I want to see exactly what you did. CAMERA SLIDES OVER TO: [INT. CSI - A/V LAB - SCENARIO 4 (VERSION) ] (Hodges' recording plays on the monitor. Grissom's reflection is on the monitor glass.) Hodges: (from video) In truth, it is all of these things, and all of these things are the same. (PULL BACK to REVEAL - Grissom is not alone. Wendy, Archie, Mandy, David and Henry gather around him to watch the snuff film. Wendy even brought a large tub of popcorn.) Hodges: (from video) Because the only real way to catch a killer is to outsmart him and hope that he is not smarter than you. (On the monitor, Hodges smiles and sits up straight.) ON AUDIENCE BANG!! (Everyone bursts out laughing.) ON MONITOR - Hodges rolls off the chair and falls to the floor with a thud. Wendy: Do it again! ARCHIE: Do it again! DAVID PHILLIPS: One more time. One more time. (Grissom grins.) Hodges: (V.O.) Wait, wait, wait - [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Hodges: They all want to watch? Grissom: (deadpans) Professional curiosity. I guess. (Grissom's eyes sparkle as he looks at Hodges.) [INT. CSI - A/V LAB - SCENARIO 4] (Grissom sits ALONE in front of the monitor. The computer beeps as he replays the video.) Hodges: (from video) In truth, it is all these things, and all these things are the same. ON MONITOR (Hodges' recording plays on the monitor. Grissom's reflection is on the monitor glass.) Hodges: (from video) Because the only real way to catch a killer is to outsmart him and hope that he is not smarter than you. (Hodges smiles. He sits up straight.) BANG! (Hodges falls backward and rolls off the chair with a THUD!) (Grissom sees something. He rewinds the video.) ON MONITOR (Hodges smiles. He sits up straight.) BANG! (Hodges falls backward and rolls off the chair with a THUD!) Grissom: (V.O.) You took the shot straight into your head, -- (The computer chair IS STILL SPINNING round and round and round.) Grissom: (V.O.) -- but according to the video, you were not facing the hallway. REVEAL - Grissom stands in the doorway looking at the computer at where the shooter would have been. Grissom: (V.O.) Which means the bullet didn't come from there. (Grissom turns and looks behind him. There's a shelf.) Grissom: It must've come from here. (He points to the shelf behind him.) (Grissom checks the shelf -- Hodges: (V.O.) Yes, it did. -- and finds a barrel attached to a pager.) Grissom: A zip gun. Hodges: (V.O.) With an unrifled barrel. Grissom: And a remote trigger. What model year is the pager? Hodges: (V.O.) Pre-1990. Grissom: So no call-back numbers. Pre-1990 pagers didn't store them. Hodges: (V.O.) So, you're at a dead end? (Grissom looks DIRECTLY at the CAMERA.) Grissom: I'm just getting started. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB - SCENARIO 4] (Grissom swabs the zip gun barrel. The tip of the swab is black. He looks at the swab.) Grissom: Do I have to walk over to the GCMS or will you just tell me? Hodges: (V.O.) The barrel of the zip gun contains traces of black powder. (Grissom caps the swab.) (He turns and looks at the bullets on the computer.) Grissom: Okay, but the bullet was pitted on the base, which is the result of exposure to smokeless gunpowder. Which means that the bullet that killed you was fired twice. CUT TO: FLASHBACK (The killer fires the gun.) Grissom: (V.O.) The killer test-fires the gun, knowing it will be destroyed, and keeps the bullet and the casing. (The killer retrieves the bullet. The killer makes the zip gun.) Grissom: (V.O.) He puts the bullet in a metal tube on a wad of black powder. CGI ZOOM TO: The pager buzzes. The electrical pulses flash through the wiring and to the zip gun barrel.) Grissom: (V.O.) With a pager trigger, it's essentially a remote controlled musket. Call the number from any phone or through the Internet and ... CGI THROUGH GUN BARREL - The gunpowder ignites and fires the bullet.) END CGI. [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Hodges: Impressive. Can you tell me whodunit? Grissom: Well, Bobby Dawson is an early 19th Century firearm enthusiast. He ... uh ... loads and fires muskets for fun. Hodges: Oh, yeah. Big gun guy. [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - SCENARIO 4] (Brass leads Bobby Dawson through the hallway, his hand holding Bobby's arm.) Bobby Dawson: I didn't do it! I didn't do anything! I swear! (Bobby tears out of Brass's grip and runs down the hallway to get away.) (Officer Mitchell blocks Bobby's path.) Bobby Dawson: Hey! OFFICER MITCHELL: Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. (Brass rolls his eyes.) (Bobby wrestles Officer Mitchell's gun away from him. Bobby has the gun now. He holds it pointed up at the ceiling.) Brass: (ho-hum) Gun. (Bobby looks at the gun in his hand.) (Brass takes his out and aims at Bobby.) BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG !!! THUD !!! (Whipping sound.) (Brass holds up his gun and blows lightly across the smoking barrel.) [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Grissom: What do you got against Bobby Dawson? Hodges: (shakes his head) Nothing. Running gag. So, -- (Hodges holds up the figurine.) Hodges: -- you think Bobby Dawson did it? Grissom: (confidently) No. Bobby was framed. You drew me a map. (Hodges puts the figurine down.) Grissom: The path of the bullet, if not stopped by your brain mass, would have continued straight through into Ballistics, where Bobby works. Now, Bobby's a real gun guy, and no gun guy would ever position himself down-range of a shot. You're more than a victim, Hodges. ON VIDEO (Hodges is on the monitor.) Grissom: (V.O.) According to your video, you straightened up just before the fatal shot was fired. (Hodges smiles and sits up straight.) CGI SHOT (Bullet is fired from the barrel.) BARREL POV (The bullet exits the barrel.) Grissom: (V.O.) You knew it was coming. (The bullet heads straight for Hodges.) Grissom: (V.O.) And you made sure that you were in the perfect position to catch it. THUD!! [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM] Hodges: I am a mere Padawan in the presence of the Jedi Master. (Hodges puts his hands flat together and bows to Grissom.) Grissom: True. (looks at watch) Let's play another. Hodges: Sure. (Hodges picks up the scenario cards and shuffles through them. He glances at Grissom.) Hodges: You weren't ready -- to leave -- this: the challenges, the puzzles, the job. Grissom: No. Hodges: But Sara was. Grissom: Yeah, she was. Hodges: You can't stand in the way of that. When it's time for someone to move on, you just gotta let them go. Grissom: Let's play the game, shall we? Hodges: Okay. Oh! (Hodges shows Grissom the tape recorder.) Hodges: Mind if I record this? (to recorder) Scenario 12, Hodges and Grissom. (He puts the recorder down as he starts the next scenario.) [SCENE_BREAK] Hodges: (V.O.) Okay, you walk into the AV Lab. You find Archie slumped over his computer with a knife in his head ...	Plan: A: Hodges; Q: Who stages murders in the lab? A: hypothetical murders; Q: What does Hodges stage in the lab? A: CSI; Q: What game does Hodges want to give his lab techs a chance to play? A: his actions; Q: What does Hodges have other motives behind? A: Sara's farewell; Q: What event causes everyone to try to comfort Grissom? Summary: Hodges stages hypothetical murders in the lab in order to give his fellow lab techs a chance to play CSI, but unbeknownst to them he has other motives behind his actions. Meanwhile, after Sara's farewell, everyone tries to comfort Grissom.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. It's an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.] Phoebe: Okay! Monica: Come on, no peeking! (They are leading the gang out with there hands over their eyes.) Chandler: Our eyes are closed and we're about to cross the street. Very good. Phoebe: Okayyyyy, open up! (They open their eyes and are stunned at the van.) Ross: What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchin' van! Phoebe: Yeah, it's for our catering business! Joey: I think I know that girl. Monica: All right, umm, we're not gonna really keep it this way though. Rachel: No? Phoebe: No, we're gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette. Rachel: Oh! Phoebe: And also, we don't know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girl's nipples light up.) Joey: Oh yeah, I definitely know her. OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.] Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything? Phoebe: Oh sure, Cilantro Larry. Monica: Well, I'm gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter. Monica: Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence... dozens of people. Phoebe: How could you say yes, what about our catering business? Monica: Oh no-no-no, it's only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners. All: Yay!! Phoebe: Oh, in that case-(hops up and down in joy)-Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board. Monica: Oh. Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party? Ross: I don't know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but there's this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch. Chandler: No-no, I don't think you heard me. Are you ready to party?! Ross: Nooo!! Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town? Chandler: Kathy's with her parents, I have nothing to do, so tomorrow we are partying with Gandolf dude! Ross: Dude, we are sooo gonna party! Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy? Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world. Chandler: I'm gonna call and get off work tomorrow! Ross: I'm gonna call after you! Chandler: This is gonna be soo cool, dude, we never party anymore! Chandler and Ross: Woooo!!! Monica: All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van? Joey: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book? Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard! Joey: Well, why do you call him Gandolf? Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school? Joey: No, I had s*x in high school. [Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.] Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. There's an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss... Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me. Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and... Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you can't stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons. Rachel: God, I am so glad you don't have a problem with this, because if you did, I wouldn't even consider applying. Joanna: Really? Well, in that case... Rachel: (interrupting) And that's I'm so glad... there's no problem. Joanna: That's fine, actually I'm on the hiring committee, so there'll be at least one friendly face. Rachel: Ohh! That's great! Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job. Rachel: Really?! Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, don't you worry, I'm sure with your qualifications you won't need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing. Rachel: Well, I, umm... Joanna: Kidding! God, I feel wild today! [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready to party.] Chandler: Oh man! I am so excited-I may vomit! Joey: Will you calm down, he's just a human guy. Chandler: Look you don't understand, Gandolf is amazing. Y'know you're never know what's gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia! Joey: Really?! Chandler: Oh yeah, it's beautiful country up there. Ross: (entering) Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite kit! Chandler: It's not gonna be exactly like last time. Joey: All right, I'll see you guys. Chandler and Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Chandler: Whoa-wh-wh-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Joey: I have an audition, but I'll definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon? Ross: Somewhere maybe along the equator? Joey: Okay. (leaves as the phone rings) Chandler: (answering it) Hello. (listens) (to Ross) It's Gandolf!!! (on phone) So, are you in town? (listens) (disappointed) Oh, well, well maybe next time then. (Hangs up) Ross: What happened? Chandler: He's not gonna make it, he's stuck in Chicago. Ross: Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky! Chandler: Stupid, useless Canadian money! [Scene: Bloomingdale's, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.] Mr. Posner: You have a very impressive resume, Ms. Green. I especially like what I see here about implementing a new filing system. Rachel: Thank you. Joanna: Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets. Rachel: Well, they uh, they-they do more than that. Mrs. Lynch: I notice that you've been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities. Rachel: Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me. Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. It's amazing how she gets it right almost every time! Rachel: I-I-I of course, I have more responsibilities than that. Joanna: Oh yes, well there's the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once! Mr. Posner: Yes, that's very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers. Rachel: Yes, I realize that... Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldn't have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean. Rachel: I love working with designers! Joanna: With them, under them, what's the difference? Eh, Rach? [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.] Monica: Hey! My first review is out! Phoebe: Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm. Monica: All right, look at my on the back page. Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandro's? Sure, but I'd have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place. Monica: Hey, they don't pay me a penny a word to make friends. Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering. Monica: Oh! Do you need me to go with you? Phoebe: No-no, it's okay. But are we sure we don't want the waterbed? Monica: Haven't we made this decision? Phoebe: Yeah, all right. (starts to leave) Monica: Bye! Phoebe: Bye! (The intercom buzzes.) Monica: (answering it) Who is it? Allesandro: It's Allesandro, from Allesandro's. Monica: Oh my God. Allesandro: I want to talk to you about your review. Monica: Oh my God, oh my God. (on intercom) Call me on the phone! Allesandro: Why? So you could hang up on me? Monica: Look, I-I'm never gonna let you up so you may as well just go away. Allesandro: Just give me a chance too... Phoebe: (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go. Monica: No! Phoebe! Phoebe: Hey, Monica! [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.] Allesandro: (entering) I want a retraction! Our food is not inedible swill! Monica: I couldn't eat it! I had five friends who couldn't eat it, and one of them eats books. Allesandro: Well our service is not grossly incompetent. Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants! Allesandro: Well, you said that we except the Discover Card, which we do not! Monica: All right, that I'll retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasn't it. You're marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery. Allesandro: Hey! I'm proud of that sauce, it's delicious. Monica: Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from? Allesandro: (shyly) Lebanon. Monica: Hand me those tomatoes, I'm gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them. Allesandro: How long is this gonna take? 'Cause I got another critic to go yell at. [Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.] Rachel: (entering Joanna's office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview. Joanna: I thought it went very well. Rachel: No! It didn't! That's what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you... (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you. Joanna: Rachel, please, don't make a scene. Rachel: There's nobody here! Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now you're making Sophie uncomfortable! Sophie: She's not making me uncomfortable. Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves) Rachel: Do you want me to quit? Joanna: What?! What would make you think that? Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Y'know what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess there's no use to me sticking around 'til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.) Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in it's drawer. If you must know the truth, I didn't want to lose a perfectly good assistant. Rachel: What? Joanna: That's why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking... Rachel: My drinking? Joanna: Oh, I must've said that after you left. Rachel: Said what? Exactly. Joanna: That you enjoyed the occasional drink...ing binge. Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! I'm leaving! You are just a horrible person! Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If you're gonna get all sensitive about it! I don't want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? I'll make you an assistant buyer in this department. Rachel: Say more things like that. Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow. Rachel: I'd need an expense account. Joanna: Done! Rachel: And an assistant. Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie peeks in around the corner) [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.] Joey: Hey! What are you guys doing here? I thought you'd be out partying with Gandel-worf. Ross: It's Gandolf, and he's not coming. Joey: So you've been sittin' around here all mornin'? Ross: No! I balanced my checkbook. Chandler: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players. Ross: I can't believe he didn't come! Joey: So what if he didn't come! We can still go out and party ourselves! Chandler: Oh-no, y'know with Gandolf we'd be out all night! Ross: Yeah! We'd meet, we'd meet total strangers, and hang out with them! Joey: Well, we could do that! Ross: There's other stuff too. Joey: We'll do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on! Ross: Yeah! Joey: Yeah! Ross: Yeah!! Joey: Yeah!! Ross: It's not like we don't know how to party!! Joey: Yeah! All right? Let's go! Chandler: And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again? Joey and Ross: Yeah!!! Chandler: All right!! Ross: (to Chandler) Hey-hey-hey, when uh, when were we on a boat? Chandler: Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face? Ross: Yeah. Chandler: Well, those were seals, man. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is entering, excited.] Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer? Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandro's came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!! Rachel: Oh my God!! You just ruined the thing I was practicing the whole way home, but I'm soo happy! Monica: Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen! Rachel: Ohh, you've waited soo long. Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Rachel: Hey, Pheebs, quick question for ya. Phoebe: Yeah. Rachel: How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdale's? Phoebe: I don't know, it would totally depend on her coloring and... (realizes) You got the job!! Rachel: Yes!!! Monica: You got the job?! Why didn't you tell me? Rachel: Ohh, it's gonna be so great! I'm gonna get to help decide what we sell, I'm gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) I'm gonna have walls! Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception. Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering. Phoebe: But we've only had one job. Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like it's snowballing, y'know? Phoebe: Yeah! What are you saying? Monica: I got offered the head chef job at Allesandro's. Phoebe: What? Monica: It's okay, 'cause y'know what? You don't really need me for the business. Phoebe: You're the cook! With out you it's just me driving up to people's houses with empty trays and asking for money! Monica: All right. But umm, I-I-I'll pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van. Phoebe: For what? I can't believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves) Monica: Phoebe, wait a minute! (runs after her, leaving Rachel alone) Rachel: I'm an assistant buyer!! [Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.] Joey: All right, so we'll get a little coffee, and get energized, and we'll head back out. Chandler: Yeah, all right. Ross: Okay. Joey: So, we're having fun, right? Chandler and Ross: Yeah. Joey: We don't need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, we'll head down to the docks and see about that boat thing. Ross: I'm kinda beat. Chandler: Actually, me too. Joey: Are you serious?! Chandler and Ross: Yeah. Joey: Thank God! I'm exhausted! Gunther: So you guys want coffees? Joey: Yeah, but uh, I don't want to be up too late, so uh, I'll have a decaf. Ross: Yeah, me too. Chandler: Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud? Joey: I can't hear a word you're saying, my ears are ringing so bad. Ross: I'm just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, y'know? I used them as mittens, I didn't want to touch a thing in that last place. (pause) Ross: How sad are we? Joey: Yeah, I know. Chandler: Y'know what? We're not sad, we're not sad, we're just not 21 anymore. Y'know? I'm 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour! Joey and Ross: Yeah! Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends. Chandler and Ross: Yeah! Ross: And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath! Joey: We're 29, we're not women. [Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.] Monica: (entering) Ohh, here you are. Y'know, I'm-I'm glad you decided to hear me out. Phoebe: Okay, I'm hearing. Monica: I've been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person. Phoebe: What?! Monica: Or! A bakery delivery person. Phoebe: I wa-I wa-I wa... Monica: Pizza?! Phoebe: Monica! Monica: All right, I've got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, I'm getting the feeling that you don't want to deliver. Phoebe: No. Monica: Okay. I'm guessing that if you don't want to deliver, you probably don't want to pick stuff up either. Phoebe: No. Monica: Y'know what, let's do the catering business. Phoebe: Really?! Are you sure? Monica: Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Y'know what, it'd be, it'd be fun. Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, let's plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Y'know what, I want you to take the chef job. Monica: Really?! Phoebe: Yeah. That's what you really want. Yeah, I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really don't want to be the reason I'm unhappy. Monica: Thank you. Phoebe: Besides, it might be kinda fun to form the new A-Team. [Scene: Rachel's office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joanna's office, carrying a box.] Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already? Mrs. Lynch: Oh my goodness! You haven't heard! Rachel: Heard what? Mrs. Lynch: Joanna passed away last night. Rachel: Oh my God! How?! Mrs. Lynch: Well, she was leaving work and she was hit by a cab. Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it! Mrs. Lynch: I know! Rachel: Oh, God. Oh, God. (gets worried) Oh God. Mrs. Lynch: I didn't realize that she was so close. Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before... it happened. Mrs. Lynch: No. Nothing. Imagine, if she had just stepped off that curb a few seconds later. Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and she'd still be with us-nothing about an assistant buyer? Mrs. Lynch: (starting to cry) No, I'm sorry. I have to go. (She leaves as Sophie arrives.) Sophie: (happily) Good morning! Rachel: Oh, Sophie, I guess you didn't hear about Joanna... Sophie: I sure did! (smiles) CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Monica's new kitchen, Allesandro is introducing her to her new employees.] Allesandro: I'm so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, it's like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much we're gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef. Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?	Plan: A: their new catering business; Q: What do Monica and Phoebe buy a van for? A: plans; Q: What is upended when Monica is offered the head chef job at 'Alessandro's'? A: , a restaurant; Q: What is Alessandro's? A: a neighborhood paper; Q: Where did Monica trash Alessandro's? A: Rachel; Q: Who is sabotaged during an interview by Joanna? A: another Bloomingdale's department; Q: Where does Rachel apply for an assistant buyer job? A: Joanna; Q: Who is Rachel's boss? A: Rachel's promotion; Q: What does Joanna die before it takes effect? A: Mike 'Gandalf' Ganderson; Q: Who is Ross and Chandler's friend? A: party; Q: What is Gandalf supposed to be doing when he comes to town? A: Joey; Q: Who tells Ross and Chandler they can still have a great time even though Gandalf isn't coming? A: a great time; Q: What does Joey tell Ross and Chandler they can still have when Gandalf cancels? Summary: Monica and Phoebe buy a van for their new catering business, but plans are upended when Monica is offered the head chef job at 'Alessandro's", a restaurant she recently trashed in a review for a neighborhood paper. Rachel applies for an assistant buyer job in another Bloomingdale's department, only to be sabotaged during the interview by her boss, Joanna, who wants to keep Rachel as her assistant. Rachel confronts Joanna, who then offers to make her an assistant buyer in her department. Unfortunately, Joanna meets an untimely end before Rachel's promotion takes effect. Ross and Chandler are excited when their friend Mike 'Gandalf' Ganderson is coming to town to party. When Gandalf cancels, Joey says they can still have a great time.
5:40pm - 6:05pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. DALEK TIME MACHINE. SECOND CHAMBER FIRST DALEK: Your orders are understood? You will infiltrate and kill. DALEKS: Infiltrate and kill! (The ROBOT speaks, its voice and inflexions a perfect match of the DOCTOR'S.) ROBOT DOCTOR: Understand? Of course I understand, my dear fellow. (It gives a wave of its arm.) Don't fuss so! I am to infiltrate and kill, infiltrate and kill! [SCENE_BREAK] 2: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE. TARDIS LANDING SITE (NIGHT) (A large mushroom shaped creature twitches in the jungle of Mechanus. The sounds of swamp gas bubbling can be heard. The DOCTOR, IAN - holding the DOCTOR'S machine - and BARBARA come across several of the mushroom creatures as they explore outside the TARDIS.) BARBARA: What is it, Doctor? DOCTOR: Well, I'm not sure, young lady. Is it a plant or...some kind of fungus? IAN: (Stepping forward.) Huh! A living fungoid, Doctor. DOCTOR: (Holding IAN back with his stick.) Yes, I think this is the moment when discretion is the better part of valour. Let's get back into the ship. (They turn round. A fungoid now stands between them and the ship.) DOCTOR: How did that get there? BARBARA: They're moving. They're closing in on us! (IAN hits one of the creatures on the cup as the DOCTOR hits another with his stick. IAN quickly withdraws his hand.) IAN: It stings! (Suddenly, they are all bathed in bright spotlights. The fungoids twitch and shiver in alarm.) DOCTOR: Well, our friends here obviously don't like the light, hmm? BARBARA: Well, thank goodness for that. DOCTOR: Hmm hmm! IAN: No, but who switched the lights on? Who put them there in the first place? BARBARA: What does it matter so long as they stay on? DOCTOR: Well, it does suggest that there are other creatures on this planet, yes. Creatures of intelligence. (IAN has walked a small distance away.) IAN: Hey, come over here! (The DOCTOR and BARBARA join him. IAN points through the trees.) IAN: Look DOCTOR: Mmm? IAN: Look, you see? The lights, they...they form a sort of, er... DOCTOR: Yes! IAN: ...corridor. DOCTOR: Yes, its...its a kind of pattern. Yes, you're quite right, my boy, a corridor. IAN: Doctor! This could be an ideal place to fight those Daleks. DOCTOR: Yes, yes, well let's follow it. This way. (They set off through the trees.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE. DALEK LANDING SITE (NIGHT) (Two DALEKS have come out of their time machine.) FIRST DALEK: This is the planet Mechanus. All forms of life are to be treated as hostile. SECOND DALEK: Understood. Pass the order: all forms of life to be destroyed on contact. FIRST DALEK: I obey. (The SECOND DALEK glides back to the time machine as another DALEK exits.) SECOND DALEK: Is the humanoid robot standing by? THIRD DALEK: It awaits your orders. (The ROBOT DOCTOR walks out of the machine.) SECOND DALEK: Our enemies are moving through the jungle. You are to join them. ROBOT DOCTOR: (Airily.) Infiltrate, separate and kill. Yes, yes. I understand. Well, the sooner I get started, the sooner I shall accomplish my mission, hmm? (With a wave of its walking stick, the ROBOT DOCTOR strolls away through the trees.) SECOND DALEK: We shall follow it as escort. Advise all units. (The DALEKS glide off. After they have gone, VICKI steps cautiously out of the DALEK time machine.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE (NIGHT) (The other travellers are still following the corridor of light through the trees.) BARBARA: (To IAN.) Just a minute. (IAN stops as BARBARA takes off her shoe to shake something out of it. The DOCTOR has carried on.) DOCTOR: (OOV.) Come along, come along. IAN: All right? BARBARA: Yep, fine. (They follow on after the DOCTOR, not seeing the ROBOT DOCTOR that steps out of the trees behind them. The ROBOT follows.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: EXT. MECHANUS. ANOTHER PART OF THE JUNGLE (NIGHT) (VICKI, making her own way through the jungle, ducks into hiding as a DALEK glides past. VICKI steps out of hiding and walks straight into a fungoid. VICKI falls under the creatures' fronds as it tries to cover her. She manages to struggle to her feet and run off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: EXT. MECHANUS. ANOTHER PART OF THE JUNGLE (NIGHT) (The others reach a cave. They look warily through the entrance...) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (NIGHT) DOCTOR: Oh, we seem to have come to the end of our corridor of lights, hmm? IAN: Yes. Let me go first. (IAN steps into the cave. The others cautiously follow.) DOCTOR: Any Daleks? IAN: No, nothing. It's empty. DOCTOR: Hmm, let's take a closer look, hmm? (They step into the main body of the cave.) IAN: Strange place. Now why would anyone construct a complicated system of lights...to lead directly to a cave like this? DOCTOR: Well, I'm not quite sure, dear boy, but...there must be a reason for it, yes, like everything else in the universe, there is a reason for it. (The DOCTOR sees a metallic probe sticking out of the rock wall but is distracted as IAN puts the machine down with a thump.) DOCTOR: Oh, do be careful what you're doing with that, hmm? BARBARA: Hey, over here. IAN: Huh? BARBARA: Look what I've found. (BARBARA is holding a long metallic and perspex stick with a handle and controls at one end. IAN takes it from her and examines it.) IAN: Well, what do you make of that, Doctor? DOCTOR: (Taking it from IAN.) Well, I should imagine it's some kind of weapon. Just hold that a minute, hmm? IAN: Hey? (He passes IAN his walking stick. Taking the weapon, he walks to the mouth of the cave. IAN and BARBARA follow closely behind - too closely for the DOCTOR'S liking.) DOCTOR: Ah, cha, cha, cha, not so close! (The DOCTOR braces himself and fires. There is no sound. He checks the weapon and sees that a bright light shines from the end.) DOCTOR: Well! That's ingenious, isn't it, hmm? (IAN and BARBARA come over.) BARBARA: Ah, it's designed to scare off those fungoid things we saw in the swamp. DOCTOR: Very good, my dear, very good, hmm? BARBARA: (Taking the stick weapon.) Well Doctor, with this... (Points at the DOCTOR'S machine.) ...and that we are ready for the Daleks, come on. (She walks over to the cave mouth and gets in position, holding the stick weapon up. IAN picks up the DOCTOR'S machine and excitedly joins her as the two of them talk at once.) IAN: She's right, you know. BARBARA: ... party, we can pick 'em off one by one. (She starts to pretend to fire the gun. IAN laughs.) DOCTOR: (Calming them down.) Just, just, just, shh, shh, shh... (They stop and turn to the DOCTOR.) DOCTOR: Just a moment now, may I speak? There's something I haven't told you, dear boy. We cannot use this machine in an en...enclosed area, otherwise we shall all go up in smoke. BARBARA: But Doctor, the...the Daleks will find this flare path and we'll be trapped here. DOCTOR: That may be... IAN: (Interrupting.) Let's put the lights out. DOCTOR: Now you're talking common sense. Yes, lets find the cable, shall we? (They start to search the cave.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE. TARDIS LANDING SITE (NIGHT) (A tired VICKI stumbles through the jungle and comes across the TARDIS. She runs forward excitedly, not seeing that the fungoids have surrounded the ship. VICKI starts hammering on the TARDIS door as a fungoid shuffles closer...) VICKI: Doctor? Doctor, it's me, let me in! It's me! (The fungoid attempts to smother her but she manages to run off. Another fungoid is further through the trees but she manages to reach the safety of the light path - without knowing what it is. She calms down as she realises that the creatures are not following her and she starts to follow the path of light through the trees.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (NIGHT) (The search ends...) BARBARA: Over here! I've found it. (The DOCTOR and IAN rush over.) IAN: Good. Where? Ah... (The light source would seem to be under a rock.) DOCTOR: Ah, that's quite safe, well insulated. IAN: Yeah. (IAN uses the light stick to try and prise it open.) IAN: Ho, it's tough. (He continues his efforts...) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE (NIGHT) (VICKI stumbles through the trees. She comes across another fungoid - just as the lights go out. VICKI screams.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (NIGHT) IAN: There's someone out there! BARBARA: (Happily.) That noise! That noise, it was...it was... IAN: Come on, Doctor! (IAN starts to run out of the cave.) BARBARA: Doctor, that noise! It was... DOCTOR: (Leaving the cave.) Watch the machine! Watch the machine! [SCENE_BREAK] 12: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE (NIGHT) (IAN and the DOCTOR run through the jungle towards where the scream came from. After they have gone past, the ROBOT DOCTOR rises from hiding and makes its way towards the cave.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE. DALEK LANDING SITE (NIGHT) (Two DALEKS are in the jungle, next to another fungoid. The SECOND DALEK is fitted with a perceptor instrument.) FIRST DALEK: The light source has vanished. SECOND DALEK: Patrols will continue to advance eastward. Perceptors register much movement in that area. (The DALEKS start to move forward. The fungoid attempts to smother the FIRST DALEK.) FIRST DALEK: Alert! Alert! Alert! (The SECOND DALEK fires, killing the fungoid.) SECOND DALEK: The patrol will continue. FIRST DALEK: Have I sustained damage. SECOND DALEK: No. The patrol will continue. (They move off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: EXT. JUNGLE (NIGHT) (IAN and the DOCTOR come across VICKI. She is lying in a faint with a fungoid hovering over her.) IAN: Vicki! (IAN uses the light stick to keep the fungoid away. The DOCTOR bends down to examine VICKI.) IAN: She must have smuggled herself aboard the Daleks time machine. (Somberly.) So they've arrived. [SCENE_BREAK] 15: EXT. MECHANUS. CAVE ENTRANCE (NIGHT) (The ROBOT DOCTOR arrives at the cave. He checks round to make sure that he is alone, then enters the cave.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (NIGHT) (BARBARA runs forward as the ROBOT DOCTOR enters.) BARBARA: Doctor! You were quick. ROBOT DOCTOR: (Somberly.) Oh, Was I? BARBARA: Who was it? ROBOT DOCTOR: Oh, nobody, I, er... BARBARA: What is it? Where's Ian? ROBOT DOCTOR: (Quietly.) Barbara, my dear, Chesterton is dead. (BARBARA is stunned...) BARBARA: Dead? ROBOT DOCTOR: The creatures...caught him. I could do nothing. (He strokes her chin. BARBARA takes his hand in shock.) BARBARA: Are you sure...are you certain that he's not just hurt? ROBOT DOCTOR: (Quietly.) Come with me. Perhaps you can help. Come along, come along. Hurry. (He walks out of the cave. BARBARA hesitates then runs after him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE (NIGHT) (The DOCTOR and IAN make their way back to the cave, IAN carrying VICKI.) IAN: About another twenty yards, Doctor, I think. DOCTOR: Do you know Chesterton, they have an extraordinary range of movement, extraordinary. IAN: Yes. All I'm interested in right now is getting into that cave. We'll be safe. [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. CAVE (NIGHT) (They enter the cave.) IAN: Barbara? Barbara? We've found her (IAN places the still unconscious VICKI down on the cave floor.) IAN: Barbara? Where is she? DOCTOR: Take a look outside, my boy. I'll look after Vicki. (IAN steps out of the cave.) IAN: (OOV.) Barbara? Barbara? (The DOCTOR bends down over VICKI as she starts to come round.) DOCTOR: Oh, come along child, you're all right, come along. Come along, my dear. Come along, hmm, hmm? (VICKI comes to, sees the DOCTOR and pushes him away. She jumps up and backs against the cave wall in alarm.) DOCTOR: My dear girl! What on earth is wrong with you? VICKI: (Scared.) No, no, no! (IAN rushes back in.) IAN: Doctor! She's nowhere to be... (He stops as he sees the look of fear on VICKI'S face.) IAN: Vicki, what is it? VICKI: Ian! (VICKI looks confused and crosses to IAN.) VICKI: I thought that...when I...I...oh, it must be the Doctor or you wouldn't be with him. IAN: What are you saying, Vicki? VICKI: (To the DOCTOR.) Oh...I'm sorry I behaved like that, but...when I first woke up, I...I thought you must be the robot. DOCTOR: Robot? My dear, you...you have haven't got a temperature, have you? IAN: You come and sit down, Vicki. VICKI: (Shouts.) There is a robot! (To the DOCTOR.) The Daleks made it - exactly like you. DOCTOR: A robot exactly like me? VICKI: Every detail. I heard them giving it orders. They made it to infiltrate our group. They told it to "infiltrate and kill". DOCTOR: So that's it! This is very serious Chesterton. Barbara would never have left here unless...unless you or I told her to go, hmm? IAN: (Realising.) They've got her...Barbara... (He runs out of the cave.) IAN: (Shouts.) Barbara! DOCTOR: (To VICKI.) You all right, child? (She nods.) IAN: (OOV.) Barbara! DOCTOR: Come along! (The DOCTOR and VICKI follow IAN.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE (NIGHT) (BARBARA and the ROBOT DOCTOR reach a clearing but the ROBOT DOCTOR stops and hangs back.) BARBARA: Is this where you left him? ROBOT DOCTOR: No. BARBARA: Oh, come on Doctor! We must find him. You do dawdle so. IAN: (OOV: Calling through the trees.) Barbara! Barbara! BARBARA: (Delighted.) Ian! He's all right Doctor! (She runs up to the ROBOT DOCTOR.) BARBARA: He's all right! (The ROBOT DOCTOR swings his walking stick to bring it crashing down on BARBARA'S head. She screams and jumps back. The blow misses. She falls to the ground. The ROBOT DOCTOR stands over her with the stick which she desperately grabs hold of.) BARBARA: (Screams.) Argh! Ian! Argh! (IAN appears out of the jungle and grabs the ROBOT DOCTOR. The ROBOT elbows him sharply and runs off as IAN falls to the ground next to an upset and confused BARBARA.) BARBARA: (Almost tearful.) What's the matter with him? Why did he try to kill me? IAN: It isn't the Doctor. It's a robot. BARBARA: A robot? IAN: Yes. A robot the Daleks made. Come on Barbara, let's...let's find the others. (They painfully get to their feet and set off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: EXT. MECHANUS. ANOTHER PART OF THE JUNGLE (NIGHT) VICKI: I can't...see any sign of Ian. I think he must have gone further than we thought. (She turns and sees, coming towards her, IAN helping BARBARA.) VICKI: Barbara! IAN: OK, Vicki. VICKI: Where's the Doctor? (From either side of the clearing, both the DOCTOR and the ROBOT DOCTOR appear. The three companions look from one to other of the two figures in confusion.) ROBOT DOCTOR: Don't just stand there Chesterton, that's the robot. DOCTOR: Robot? Robot? Me? You're the imposter! He is the imposter! ROBOT DOCTOR: Then prove it, my dear fellow, prove it. Then we shall all believe you. DOCTOR: I don't have to. ROBOT DOCTOR: You mean you can't! DOCTOR: Why you...! (The DOCTOR raises his stick and approaches the ROBOT. Seeing this, IAN and BARBARA make up their mind that the ROBOT is the real DOCTOR. IAN approaches the real DOCTOR as the ROBOT runs to one side of the clearing with BARBARA and VICKI.) IAN: Put that stick down! DOCTOR: Get out of my way. IAN: And if I won't? DOCTOR: I shall give you the same treatment. (The DOCTOR raises his stick. IAN tackles him and the two start to struggle. The fight is watched by the two women and the ROBOT.) ROBOT DOCTOR: Watch him Chesterton! Watch him! (IAN grapples the DOCTOR to the ground.) IAN: You still you insist you're the real Doctor? DOCTOR: Oh, what does it matter what I say now, hmm? ROBOT DOCTOR: Chesterton, now's your chance! Destroy it! Destroy it with a rock! (IAN thrusts the DOCTOR away and, as suggested, grabs a rock. The ROBOT turns to VICKI and says...). ROBOT DOCTOR: Susan, don't look this way, it'll be nasty. (VICKI looks confused but BARBARA realises the mistake that has been made. She rushes to IAN.) BARBARA: Ian, don't! That's the Doctor! IAN: What? VICKI: (Running from the ROBOT.) This is the robot! This is the robot! (The ROBOT runs at IAN and pushes him to the ground.) IAN: Argh! (The ROBOT makes a run for it but the DOCTOR trips it up. The ROBOT rises to its feet and the two identical figures begin a duel with their walking sticks. Their sticks in the air, the ROBOT manages to push the DOCTOR to one side of the clearing. The DOCTOR suddenly shouts out in an imitation of a DALEK voice...) DOCTOR: Stop! Do not kill! (The ROBOT, confused, pauses. The DOCTOR uses this advantage to reach within the ROBOT'S chest and pull out some of its circuitry. The ROBOT freezes. With his stick, the DOCTOR gently pushes it over to the ground. The DOCTOR looks down on it.) DOCTOR: Hmm, I must get a Doctor! (He walks off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE. TARDIS LANDING SITE (NIGHT) (The DALEKS come across the TARDIS. A fungoid stands next to it.) FIRST DALEK: The enemy time machine. With this in our control, they cannot escape. What is that noise? (The noise comes from the fungoid as it approaches and smothers the DALEK.) SECOND DALEK: Hostile plant life! Destroy! Destroy! FIRST DALEK: (Muffled: under the fungoid.) You destroy! (The SECOND DALEK fires and the fungoid is destroyed. A THIRD DALEK glides forward.) THIRD DALEK: There is no trace of the humans. SECOND DALEK: Or the robot? THIRD DALEK: No. Contact has been lost. FIRST DALEK: We will organise a full scale search of the jungle at daybreak. (The DALEKS nod their eye-pieces in agreement.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: EXT. MECHANUS. CAVE ENTRANCE (NIGHT) (The DOCTOR is sat outside the cave on guard. IAN comes out and sits next to him.) IAN: Oh, thing's don't look too good, do they Doctor? DOCTOR: No, they're not very encouraging, dear boy. IAN: Oh, we've got one consolation - we're all together again. DOCTOR: Yes, but I don't mind admitting, I...feel rather exhausted after all that experience. IAN: Well, why don't you go down and have a rest? DOCTOR: Hmm? IAN: Go on. I'll stay out here. DOCTOR: Yes, I don't suppose we can do much in this light. IAN: No. You know it's been dark ever since we landed on this planet. DOCTOR: Yes well, we'll give it a few hours. It might get lighter. IAN: Mmm. DOCTOR: I think I'll take your advice. But I shan't sleep. (He goes into the cave.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (NIGHT) (BARBARA and VICKI are already here, fast asleep. The DOCTOR lies next to them and quickly dozes off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: EXT. MECHANUS. CAVE ENTRANCE (NIGHT) (Outside the cave, IAN finds it difficult to stay awake as he continues to keep guard.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (NIGHT) (As the three sleep inside the cave, a probe with a camera on the end descends from the ceiling and monitors the three sleepers. After a moment, it withdraws.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (The next morning, daylight streams through the cave entrance. The DOCTOR wakes up and struggles to his feet.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: EXT. MECHANUS. CAVE ENTRANCE (Outside the cave, IAN is fast asleep. The DOCTOR comes out...but stops in his tracks as he looks up into the sky. He shakes IAN.) DOCTOR: Chesterton! IAN: Mmm? DOCTOR: Get up, get up, get up! IAN: (Getting to his feet.) What's the matter? DOCTOR: Look here! IAN: Mmm? (The DOCTOR points with his walking stick. Above them, built on graceful stilts that reach out of the distant jungle is a magnificent city. The buildings themselves are a series of landings on curving columns. One walkway reaches from the city to the cliff-side above them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (BARBARA and VICKI are stirring. The DOCTOR pokes his head through the entrance.) DOCTOR: I say, you two in there! Come along, wake up, wake up! Come out here quickly! (The two women follow him out of the cave.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: EXT. MECHANUS. CAVE ENTRANCE (The DOCTOR laughs and points out the sight to them. They stop in their tracks at the sight above them.) VICKI: Wow, beautiful! IAN: (In wonder.) Yes... DOCTOR: Mmm. IAN: To think that was up there all last night and we never knew. DOCTOR: Quite so. And that is where we've got to get to, hmm? IAN: Yes, you bet. DOCTOR: (To BARBARA.) Have you got that thingummybob? BARBARA: I'll get it. (She runs into the cave.) DOCTOR: Well, come along, come along, let's go. Come on. (They are about to set off, when...) VICKI: Look! (Three DALEKS are in the jungle coming towards them.) IAN: Daleks - coming straight for us! BARBARA: Over there - there's two more of them! (And indeed, two more DALEKS stand to one side.) BARBARA: Come on Vicki, quick! (The travellers retreat quickly back into the cave.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (The DOCTOR keeps watch through the entrance as the other three back against the wall.) IAN: What do we do now? DOCTOR: Well, we must clear this cave as soon as possible, otherwise we can't work that device. IAN: How? VICKI: That cliff above, can we climb out that way? IAN: No, it's impossible. Its sheer, they'd pick us off like flies. VICKI: It's the only way, what do we do? IAN: I've got it! The Doctor will have to go out there as the robot. He could put them off the scent. BARBARA: Are you mad? IAN: Why? BARBARA: The Daleks must know that the robot's dead - they controlled it. (Unseen, the DOCTOR slips out of the cave.) IAN: Why? You can't be sure of that. VICKI: Anyway, it might confuse them just long enough to enable us to get away... BARBARA: Look, it would be sheer suicide! IAN: Yeah, perhaps you're right Barbara. Well, Doctor, wha... (He turns and sees that the old man has gone.) IAN: (Running to the entrance.) Doctor! BARBARA: Doctor! [SCENE_BREAK] 31: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE. TARDIS LANDING SITE (The SECOND DALEK with the perceptor instrument glides back to some of its companions.) SECOND DALEK: They are trapped in the rock face. FIRST DALEK: Attack formation! Attack formation! Attack formation! Attack formation! Attack! (Three DALEKS glide round until they are facing the direction of the cave.) SECOND DALEK: Section four will enter the cave. Do not deviate. THIRD DALEK: We obey. (The FIRST and THIRD DALEKS glide off. The SECOND DALEK glides up to two more DALEKS.) SECOND DALEK: Section two will circle the cave. Take a position amongst the boulders and cut off any attempt to escape. FOURTH DALEK: We obey. (The SECOND DALEK glides back to two more DALEKS.) SECOND DALEK: We will take no prisoners. Eliminate on sight. DALEKS: We obey. (They start to glide off through the jungle.) SECOND DALEK: Move to position. On my command, advance and attack. FIFTH DALEK: Align and advance! SIXTH DALEK: Advance and attack! DALEKS: Attack and destroy! Destroy and rejoice! [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (IAN, BARBARA and VICKI wait in the cave, listening to the exchange outside.) FIRST DALEK: (OOV.) Halt! You will be exterminated! DOCTOR: (OOV.) I have infiltrated and killed. We may now return to Skaro. FIRST DALEK: (OOV.) You lie! You are not the robot! (There is the sound of a DALEK gun firing. The DOCTOR dives into the cave, helped by IAN.) IAN: Doctor! BARBARA: Doctor, that was a foolish thing to do! DOCTOR: They kna...they know now, who'se who. (To BARBARA.) Give me that machine. All of you, get against the wall. (BARBARA hands him the machine and she, IAN and VICKI run to the far wall as instructed.) DOCTOR: I'm going to see what I can do with this. (The DOCTOR places the machine down in the centre of the cave. As he does so, a section of the back wall slams down. Beyond it is a small but brightly lit chamber and within it stands a robot. As tall as a man, it's overall shape is round and is made of geodesic design in that is made of triangular panels. The robot has three flashing lights on one panel and a number of small pieces of instrumentation on the very top of its casing, rather like an aerial. The robot speaks in a heavily fractured electronic voice.) MECHANOID: Eight hundred...thirty...Mechanoid...English...input...enter. (Two arms come out of the centre of the robot, almost in a gesture of welcome. The voices of the DALEKS are heard outside the cave...) DALEKS: (OOV.) Advance. Advance and attack! Attack and destroy! Destroy and rejoice! IAN: You heard what the gentleman said - let's go! (As the DALEK chant continues, the DOCTOR grabs his machine and the time travellers walk towards the chamber...)	Plan: A: The travellers; Q: Who is taken prisoner by the Mechonoids? A: theMoroks' museum; Q: Where did the travellers get the Time-Space Visualiser? A: their own time machine; Q: What do the Daleks have that the Doctor and his companions need to escape? A: the TARDIS; Q: What do the Doctor and his companions flee in? A: The chase; Q: What begins on the desert planet Aridius? A: stopping-off points; Q: What does the chase take in a number of? A: a spooky haunted house; Q: What is actually a futuristic fun-fair attraction? A: a futuristic fun-fair attraction; Q: What is the haunted house on Aridius actually? A: the jungle planet Mechanus; Q: Where do the Daleks try to kill the Doctor's party? A: the Mechonoids - robots; Q: Who takes the Doctor's party prisoner? A: landing sites; Q: What were the Mechonoids sent to prepare for colonists who never arrived? A: human colonists; Q: Who were the Mechonoids sent to prepare landing sites for? A: Steven Taylor; Q: Who is the stranded astronaut who has been the Mechonoids' captive for the past two years? A: The Daleks; Q: Who is on the Doctor's trail? A: a fierce battle; Q: What does the Daleks and Mechonoids engage in that ends in their mutual destruction? A: The Doctor; Q: Who reluctantly helps Ian and Barbara to use the Daleks' time machine to return home? Summary: The travellers learn from the Time-Space Visualiser taken from theMoroks' museum that Daleks equipped with their own time machine are on their trail with orders to exterminate them. They flee in the TARDIS. The chase begins on the desert planet Aridius and takes in a number of stopping-off points, including a spooky haunted house which is actually a futuristic fun-fair attraction. Eventually both time machines arrive on the jungle planet Mechanus, where the Daleks try to infiltrate and kill the Doctor's party with a robotic double of him. The travellers are taken prisoner by the Mechonoids - robots sent some fifty years earlier to prepare landing sites for human colonists who never arrived - and meet Steven Taylor, a stranded astronaut who has been the Mechonoids' captive for the past two years. The Daleks and the Mechonoids engage in a fierce battle which ends in their mutual destruction. The Doctor's party seizes this opportunity to escape. The Doctor reluctantly helps Ian and Barbara to use the Daleks' time machine to return home.
"The Election" CAST Dawson: James Van Der Beek Joey: Katie Holmes Pacey: Joshua Jackson Jen: Michelle Williams Andie: Meredith Monroe ALSO STARRING Gail: Mary-Margaret Humes Mitch: John Wesely Shipp Grams: Mary Beth Piel Bessie: Nina Repeta Abby: Monica Kenna Dawson's room. Jen is reading something and Dawson is watching TV Dawson: Jen, you're killin' me. Jen holds up a finger. Jen: Hang on...hang on... Dawson leans his head back in frustration. Jen: Alright. Dawson pauses the remote and moves up to sit across from her. Jen: Dawson, you can unflinch, I'm done. Dawson: Okay, so... Jen: What? What do you want me to say? Dawson: The truth. Jen: Okay..the truth truth or the 'what Dawson wants to hear' truth? Dawson: So in other words, you hated it. Jen: No. Dawson covers his face with his hands Jen: Dawson, Dawson, no, I didn't hate it. I just thought that it was, I don't know, for the lack of a better word....fluff. Dawson: Fluff. Fluff?! How can it be fluff Jen?! My heart and soul went into that script! Jen: I'm just saying that your heart and soul depicting the lives and loves of these teens in a small town just seems like it comes from a nieve sort of point of view. Dawson: I-I-It's supposed to be nieve, Jen! It's about the magic--the age of innocence, you know? Sexual awakening. The magic of first love. Jen: Dawson, look, your script is good, okay? It's funny and it's timely and it's smart and it's well-written. It's just lacking relevance to today's society. Dawson sighs Jen: You go out of your way to comment on teen life, but say very little about it. Dawson leans his head against the closet Dawson: If you move that knife just a hair to the left, you might get the jugular. Jen pats him on the back Jen: C'mere, c'mere. I'm not sending you spiraling into a depression here, all I'm saying is it's just lacking a little uumph, you know? The anger and the edge and just the raw, dark pain that comes with being young. Dawson: Jen, I am raw and dark. Jen laughs Dawson: What? Jen: Okay, okay, in theory, maybe. Dawson: What? Jen: In theory, maybe. All I'm saying is you just lack the proof and facts to back that up. Dawson: Proof and facts? What do I need to prove the fact that I'm raw and dark? Do I need to take, like, a gun to school? Jen: No, Dawson. Dawson: Kill my parents in their sleep? What exactly? Jen: No you just need to loosen up a little bit, okay? Dawson: I-- Jen: Move on. Start writing from the gut. Stop responding with such an adult perspective. Dawson: And how do I do that? Jen: Teenage 101. Dawson looks at her confused. Jen: Maybe it's time you start pretending like you really are 15. Dawson acts like he's still confused. Jen: I think...I think I could actually show you how to reclaim those missing years. C'mon, Dawson, what do you say? Dawson looks as if he's so not into this. Cut to Joey walking to school. Andie comes up. Andie: Hey Joey! I was hoping I'd see you today. I mean, I see you everyday but this is different. Joey: It's 7am. Slow down. Andie: Okay, well, let me explain. Last night I had a hard time sleeping which is really strange for me because usually I'm out like a light, but anyways, I was laying there and all of a sudden I had this epiphany(sp?). I know this is going to sound really strange, but it involved you. Joey: It's kind of early in the day for epiphanies, Andie, but thanks for sharing. Andie: Let me explain, this is important. Student council elections are right around the corner and I was thinking I could make a lot of positive changes as sophomore class president. Joey: And... Andie: And a really great presidential candidate needs a really great running mate. That would be you. Joey: No way. Forget about it, Andie. I don't do student government. Andie: No, no, no, Joey. I checked your GPA and you are in the top 3% of the class. You have a responsibility to let the academically less fortunate benefit from your wisdom. Joey: Maybe you haven't heard, Andie, but I'm not exactly Miss Congeniality of Capeside, okay? And adding my name to your ticket would only assure you a loss. And everybody knows my sort-of family history, okay? Andie: Look, in the high school chronological chart, it's ancient history. And your average teenager has an attention span of just under 2 seconds. You've got a clean slate, Joey, so will you at least think about it? They walk into school. Joey: Look, Andie, I'm flattered, but I'd only screw up your chances, trust me. I gotta go. Joey hurries off to class. Pacey rounds the corner. He catches up to her and kisses her on the neck Andie: smiles Hey, you. Pacey: What's shakin' McPhee? Chris hands Andie a flyer. Chris: Hey man, vote for Chris & Abby on election day. Abby: Wherever you go, Pacey, the slacker vote follows. Pacey: And, once again, Abby, your natural, irrepressible charm shines it's way through. Andie laughs Pacey: Fabulous. James Bond and Prissy Galore are going to rule our class. Andie: Not necessarily. Pacey: Who's going to beat them? Andie: Me. Pacey: Yeah, right. Andie: No, I'm serious, Pacey. Pacey: What sane person would want to waste their time on school politics when they could be spending oodles of quality time with me. Andie: Because it all falls into my master plan. School politics looks great on college applications. Pacey: Who's your running mate going to be? Andie: Still working on that one, but you're going to be my campaign manager. Pacey: I am? Andie: Yep. 'Cause I wouldn't want us to miss out on our 'oodles of quality time.' They turn the corner and walk by a girl's bathroom when Jen walks out and heads towards Dawson's locker. Jen: Hey Dawson. What's up? Dawson: Oh, just doing the same old fluff, irrevelant existance in the middle age darklessness. Jen: Okay, so why don't we do something about that? Dawson: Like what? Jen: Cut class. Dawson: What?! Jen: Ditch. Bail. Leave the premises without permission. Something that normal students do at random. Dawson: Not even in the realm of possibility. Jen: Why not? Dawson: First of all, I don't believe that cutting class is a "missing" experience that will unleash all the answers of the universe to me and I have a quiz in history. Jen: Okay, so you can make it up tomorrow. Dawson, in order to write about being a teenager you actually need to experience being one. Dawson: Next week, I promise. They start walking Jen: Life is composed of moments. Just like your script. And you have to take those moments as they come, impulses only. Dawson: stops Okay. Let's do it. Jen: Really? Dawson: Yeah, impulse, let's cut, c'mon. You lead. Jen: Alright. Jen turns to head out the door and Dawson darts into his classroom. Jen gets outside the door and turns around and doesn't see Dawson. She sighs. CUT TO Leery household. Gail: I'm sorry, Mitch. I just didn't know who else to call. Mitch: It's fixed. Go ahead, turn it on. Turn it to rinse. It works. Then the door flies open and water sprays all over Mitch and Gail and Gail starts laughing hysterically and Mitch hurries and closes the door. Mitch: You think this is real funny, don't you? Gail: I think it's hilarious. Mitch: I'm sure you do. He takes off his wet shirt. Gail: You're drenched. Mitch: Look at you, you're not so dry yourself. He squeezes his shirt out and splashes water on Gail. She gets a dish towel. Gail: Uh huh, well look at you. Their eyes meet. Gail: Mitch? They start making out heavily and he puts her on the counter where she takes off her shirt and then they move over to the dining room table where they continue to make out. Dawson opens the door and sees them and looks surprised but smiles and leaves and closes the door. He's shown outside with a confused, yet happy, look on his face. Cut to the Icehouse. Jack and Joey are stacking coffee creamers. Joey: Did you inherit your clumsy genes from your mother or your father? I mean, Andie's not clumsy...a little high strung...but not clumsy. Jack sets one and knocks the whole thing down. Jack: Alright, best 2 outta 3. Loser cleans the deep fryer. Joey: Seriously, I mean, I take after my mom. Who do you take after? Your mother or your father? I'm guessing it's your mom. Jack: Okay, alright, you win. I'll clean the deep fryer. But I'm a little fuzzy on the process so you might have to stay late and help me with the proper procedure. Joey: How do you do that? Jack: What? Joey: Everytime I ask you something a little personal you somehow manage to change the subject and not answer. Jack: Are you saying I purposely tanked the coffee creamer tower? Joey, I'm insulted. Joey: Seriously, Jack. I mean we talk all the time but whenever it starts to get a little deep you get all weird and vague. You know I have asked you 6 questions tonight and you haven't answered one. Jack: Well, that's because you have to ask me 7. You see, 7 is the magic number. Joey: Here we go again. Why do you make light out of everything? Jack: Because I'm a loof, intraverted, and unsociable. So there, I answered. Abby and Chris have entered and taken a seat. Abby: EXCUSE ME! Could we get a couple of menus over here, please? Joey looks at them disgusted. She hands them two menus. Abby: Preferably not with yesterday's special rotting on them. Joey hands her another one. Chris: Why'd you bring me to this dive? Abby: Because we have to talk strategy in private, and you can always count on this place to be deserted. The service here is even worse than the food. Joey turns around and walks back to the counter. Jack: So you're content on letting those two represent your class? Joey: They're not the only ones running, Jack. Jack: laughs Oh, please! Kenny Reily? That guy has no chance. Where's your sense of civic duty? Joey shrugs. Joey: I don't know. I've just never been the type to, you know, get involved in school activities. Jack: Well you weren't into art until recently. Maybe that will change. Joey: Yeah, but, student government is a huge leap, Jack, I mean, putting yourself out there for public scrutiny... Jack: Yeah, but you should run, Joey. Andie needs you. Abby is listening Jack: (cont.) You know, she's new here and it'll be hard for her to get votes but you. You have this amazing girl-next-door quality. This is your chance to make a difference. For your talents to rise to the occasion. Don't limit yourself, Joey. You're a born leader. Abby: Yeah, more like born loser. You actually think that you have any chance running against me? Get real. You throw the trash out, you don't vote it in. Joey: Back off, Abby. Abby: The truth hurts? Well, if you want to embarress yourself and your entire family even further than nature intended than by all means, throw your amazing girl-next-door quality into the ring. Hey, what's one more disappointment in an already meager depressing existance? Joey takes the pitcher of water she's holding and dumps it on Abby. Abby: Ahhh! You're dead. Chris and Abby leave and Joey walks towards Jack. Joey: Tell Andie I'm in. She walks off and Jack laughs. Cut to Andie and Pacey sitting at a table in Capeside. Andie: Okay, I need you to finish passing out these flyers and get these posters up. I want them all over Capeside...not just the high school. Pacey: You know, on this book that I picked up on the Clinton campaign, they said this things going to get ugly. So we're going to have to start playing hard-- Andie: Pacey. Pacey: Yeah? Andie: You've done research. Pacey: Yeah, you've been a bad, bad influence on me. They kiss and Andie pulls away and Pacey is disappointed. Andie: Oh and you know, I want this campaign to take a high road. I still believe that a candidate's virtue and integrity is normal and to be expected and not just some character perk or bonus. I mean, my goal is to make government good and safe again. Pacey: My God, you know the way these sound bytes just flow out of your mouth, you could really have a future in this stuff. Your sincerity is so appealingly sexy. Andie: And your sexiness is so appealingly sincere. Pacey: You think I'm sexy, huh? What's so sexy about me? Andie: How smart you are. They lean in to kiss again and Joey sets down and clears her throat. Pacey looks irritated. Joey: Did you get a glimpse of Chris and Abby's smear campaign? This is exactly what I was worried about. Pacey: Why? We'll just hit them back harder. There's a whole chapter in my book on mud slinging. Andie: No, we are not stooping to their lows. Government is about balance and order. We can not let their petty ways use our (?). Pacey: I should write this stuff down. Joey: Don't you think we should at least fight back? Andie: And let Chris and Abby and the whole school know that we respond in an emotional knee-jerk fashion? What kind of message is that sending out to our voting constituants? Joey: Okay, forget fighting back...I think we should stand up for ourselves...I mean.. Andie: Look, Joey, I know they got you, but let's not let them get the best of us. I mean those were just words. They carry no weight whatsoever. Now let's just look at our debate issues and figure out our gameplan. Winning will be our best revenge. Pacey: She won my vote a few bumper stickers ago. Cut to Jen putting on lipstick at a cosmetics store. Jen: Alright, Dawson. I've decided to take matters into my own hands and what you need is a regression sponsor. Dawson: A what sponsor? Jen: Somebody who can walk back into the steps of regressing your teen years. Dawson: Jen, I'm very humored by your own insight into how I am as a personal being but I am a teenager, okay? And I've got no driver's license to prove it. And regardless of any adult self-perception I might possess I still have to face all the trauma of being my age so I will respectfully decline your offer. Jen: Okay, alright. Resistance is expected. Dawson the whole reason that I brought you to this place is I figured we would just start with something simple. Do you remember when you were 10...and your mom wouldn't get you that candy bar that you really, really wanted? Didn't you ever just...swipe it? Dawson: No. Wha--What? You want me to steal something? Jen: We're not talking grand theft auto here. We're just talking a Snickers bar. Dawson shrugs declining. Jen: Dawson, every kid does it at least once. holds lipstick Put this in your pocket, Dawson. Dawson: No. No way. Jen: Dawson, c'mon. This is your symbolic candy bar. Dawson: Why is my symbolic candy bar Crimson Passion lipstick? Jen: Well because we might as well both benefit from your little for(?) adventure. Besides, look, that's not the point. What's important is that you experience the rush of walking out with it, Dawson. Dawson: It's an illegal rush that I don't have any interest in, okay? Jen: Dawson, you're overanalyzing again. Just take the said object and place it in your pocket. Dawson takes it. They walk out. Jen: Dawson, you actually did it! I didn't think you were capable! Dawson: That makes two of us. Jen: Don't you feel so...exhilirated? Dawson: Yeah...it's this amazing natural high. Jen: Alright, hand it over. Dawson: Naw, I'm the one who risked incarceration, I get to keep it. Jen looks at him. Dawson: What? Jen: Oh my God, you put it back, didn't you? You put it back, huh? Dawson: Look, Jen, I appreciate what you're trying to do but I like my perspective on life regardless of how middle-aged it might be. Jen: Okay, but how are you going to reach your audience with that perspective? Dawson, I've read your script, okay? Your hyper-awareness is disarming. You've got to start responding like an adolescent and stop hiding behind that psychology degree that you don't have. Dawson: What is wrong with being mature for my age? Jen: Because it's going to trap you, Dawson. Because you're going to wake up one morning and you're going to realize that the reason you're not growing is that you never allowed the process. There's a reason that we go from infancy to old age. Think about that. Cut to auditorium at high school. It's the candidates speeches. Kenny: Students that have a 3.5 GPA or higher should have only half a day of classes on Friday. Timelapse Andie's speech Andie: I believe my record of support and involvement of school activities fully qualifies me for student office. timelapse. Abby and Chris Chris: We're qualified...because we're one of you. Abby: We'll run the school like you want. timelapse. Andie and Joey. Joey: Unlike our opponents, we haven't lost sight on the issues in order to concentrate on malicious character attacks. timelapse Counselor: Next question - given the (?) nature of today's political climate... timelapse Abby: Listen, it's about trust. timelapse Andie: Let's talk issues. Walkmans in study hall. timelapse Kenny: Walkmans in study hall is a great idea. timelapse Chris: I'm mad for people.(?sentence?my vcr screwed up) I've probably partied with everyone here at least once. timelapse, everybody's standing out there. Abby: It all comes down to one simple question. Who do you want to run your class? Us...the geeks...or Little Miss Perky and the Convict's Daughter. Andie: That is so not a relevant issue, Abby. Abby: You would say that since no one here knows your background. Just to bring everyone up to speed on an issue that is relevant, Andie McPhee, your perspective president, has a mother who's about....one shock treatment away from a permanent residence in the looney bin! Joey: You know, for once Abby let's stick to the issues. Andie's personal life has no bearing on her ability to handle the job as sophomore class president. Abby: Uh, whatever. We have hard evidence that Andie's mother was responsible for the death of her older brother in a car crash less than a year ago. The fact of the matter is Monie(?) McPhee is a wacked out nut and we all know that mental illness is hereditary so you do the math. Counselor: Abby, that's quite enough. Abby: Hey I was just trying to assertain the truth for the safety of my fellow students. Andie... Andie: crying I.....um.....I..... She walks towards the door and then starts running. Pacey chases after her. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Joey running across campus to catch up with Jack. Joey: Hey. Jack: I can't find Andie. Have you seen her? Joey: You heard about the assembly? Jack: Yeah. Joey: Look I feel really stupid. Grilling you about your family...pressuring you for answers. I'm really sorry, Jack. Jack: Joey, I'm looking for my sister, not your sympathy. Joey: I haven't seen her since the debate. Jack: Great. Joey: Is there anything I can do to help? Jack: My family situation is complicated, Joey, alright? It's just not something I feel comfortable talking about so I'll see you later. Joey: No, Jack! Don't push me away okay? I want to help! Look, I've been through something like this with my own family and I understand. Jack: yelling Okay, don't you get it?! I didn't want to talk to you before and I don't now! God! Cut to Pacey walking down the deserted halls and he nears the Girl's Bathroom and opens the door slightly. Pacey: Andie? He shuts it again. Pacey: Alright, I'm coming in there and just so there's no confusion, I am a man so if there are any objections please speak now. He goes in. Pacey: Andie I know you're in here. He starts looking in the stalls. Pacey: Listen, there's a whole chapter in my book on what to do when scandal breaks. It's not such a big deal. I mean, you and I he spots her stall we can get through this. stands up So what do you say? opens the door revealing Andie curled up on the stool You and me Andie. Andie: Did you know it's exactly 60 feet 6 inches from pitching mound to home plate? Pacey: You okay, McPhee? Andie: Tim taught me that. He tried to teach me a curveball, too. Turns out I throw like a girl. Pacey: C'mon, let's get you outta here, Andie. Andie: Oh God, Pacey, I don't know. I mean, everybody knows about my mom and about Tim. How'm I supposed to go out there in the hall? I mean, everybody's going to look at me and they're all going to laugh. Pacey: They won't laugh at you, Andie. Everyone comes from a dysfunctional family. It's the 90s. The only happy families are in TV syndication. Andie: But it's all ruined. I mean, politics used to mean something. Now we've just become such a...lessened society. Pacey: Andie, this is high school. Trust me, me of all people, this will all blow over. Tomorrow everything goes back to normal. Andie: Normal? Oh, God. That's all I ever wanted. A normal family, with a normal life, balance and order, order and balance. But you know that just never exists. Not anywhere, not here. It's like this big false hope. Pacey: Hey. Don't you think you're being a little hard on yourself? Normal never existed. It never did. Andie: Hm. Wow. Look at me. I'm a mess. I'm a total and complete mess. I hate this. I really hate this. She throws Pacey's book at the mirror and then walks out of the bathroom. Mitch's apartment. Mitch: Dawson. Dawson: Hey dad. Mitch: Look. pointing to chair Can you believe somebody threw this out? The thing's an antique. Thought maybe I could clean it up a little...sell it. Dawson: Brought your mail. Mitch: Thanks. You didn't have to do that. Dawson: I know. Thought I'd stop by...say hi...see what was new if anything. Mitch: Mom told you, didn't she? Dawson: No, I saw it for myself. Not the main attraction, just the previews. Mitch: So, uh, it's complicated and, um, actually I don't know exactly how comfortable I am talking to you about this. Dawson: No problem. It's totally fine. I just want to let you know that I'm okay with it. I mean, it's fine if you want to stay over every once in awhile. It won't mess up my head. If you're worried about that. I mean, I know that reconciliation has to restrain and (?). Mitch: There is no reconciliation, Dawson. It was a slip. A sx slip, and a mistake and it won't happen again. Dawson: Now I don't understand. Mitch: Well, it just, we fell back into what was comfortable and easy and used it to cover our problems. Dawson: It helped your problems. Mitch: No. No, it worsened them. 'Cause I realized that it's insane to keep taking the same action expecting a different result. I mean, it changes nothing. It's the action that must change. Cut to Jen's house. Jen is looking through her closet and Dawson is behind her talking.* Dawson: You were right. I do have perception disorder. Jen: What brought this on? Dawson: Let's just say, I'm geared to respond to life in a certain way and you say I don't respond like a typical adolescent, and you're right, I don't, but emotionally, I do. I always have. I am very much my age emotionally, maybe even younger. And my feelings are in constant conflict with my overachieving self-aware brain and it's just a constant battle. And that's what's driving me crazy. Am I making any sense? Jen: Completely. Dawson: Okay, thank God. So I keep on waiting for my feelings to catch up so maybe I can finally grow up so I can finally get over Joey or accept that my parents may or may not work things out, but I think I have it backwards. In order to change my feelings I first have to change my actions because that's the only way somebody can change how they feel. Jen: You're too smart for your own good, Dawson. Dawson: Right now I feel incredibly stupid. Jen: Is there anything I can do to help or I dunno.. Dawson: Yeah...I think I need a sponsor. I need to go out and engage in some incredibly appropriate teenage behavior. Jen: Well, that sounds like something right up my alley. Anything you had in mind? Dawson: Just something nonsensical..really spontaneous...the good, the bad, the ugly, you are the expert I will follow your lead. Jen: Well, you know what? By all means, Dawson, let the rebelry begin. Cut to Andie's house. Andie is rocking in a rocking chair staring out the window in her room. Jack comes in. Jack: I finally got Mom to bed. Andie doesn't say anything. Jack: It really scares her to see you so upset. Look, Andie, it hasn't been an easy year for any of us, but we all do what we have to to hold it together...to cope. Andie still just sits there. Jack: Your highs and lows have been becoming really intense lately. Andie: I'm fine, Jack. Jack: No, you're not fine, Andie! I mean one minute you're laughing and the next you're in tears! Andie: Please just leave me alone, okay? Jack: I think maybe it's time you went back to your medication.It's easier for you and for everyone. Andie: I said I'm alright, okay? I just had a rough day. I mean, I don't need any medication. Jack just sits there. Andie: I'm fine. Jack gets up and leaves. Cut to Dawson and Jen running through the woods laughing. Dawson is holding toilet paper. Dawson: Slow down, slow down! We just TPed Mr. Milos house! I've always wanted to do that! Jen: And now you have! See and very well I might add. looks at toilet paper Aside from the fact that you forgot to drop the evidence. Dawson throws it into the woods. Dawson: Alright, so that's a rebellious 13 I would say, so what next? Jen: You ready for something really bold? Dawson: I am up for anything. Jen: Anything? Dawson: Abso--well, what did you have in mind? Jen: Drop your pants. Dawson: What? Jen: Well, I just mean, you can't very well go skinny dipping with your clothes on. Dawson: Skinnydipping? Jen, do you know how cold the water is? Jen: Oh, I mean, if you're to embarressed about... Dawson: I'm not embarressed! I'm just...you think I wouldn't do it, don't you? Jen: No. Dawson: Well, I'm not going alone. Jen: Dawson, I never intended for you to do it alone. She starts getting undressed and Dawson turns around. Dawson: Oh my god, you're serious. Jen: Mm-hm. Completely. Dawson: Maybe we should think about this. I mean, what if somebody walks by? You know? Jen just laughs and throws her bra over Dawson's shoulder as a tease. She runs and jumps in the water. Dawson: Jen you're... Jen: Naked? And all wet. Dawson, come on in, the water's great. Jen laughs Dawson stands up behind a bush and a tree. Jen: Dawson is that a tree branch or are you just happy to see me? Dawson: It's fine now turn around! Jen: Alright, I am. Dawson: Here I come! Dawson runs and jumps in. Dawson: This used to be my worst nightmare. Jen: Oh, thanks a lot, swimming naked with me used to be your worst nightmare. They start splashing each other. Jen's laughing. Jen: Okay, Dawson, stop. Truce. Dawson just starts splashing harder. timelapse Jen: Let me ask you something. Dawson: Yeah? Jen: Nightmares aside have you ever dreamt about me? Dawson: Yeah. Well, I mean, everyone I know has crept into my dreams at one point or another. Jen: No...I mean...have you ever woken up...sweating? Dawson: What? Jen: Blanket in a little pup tent? Dawson: You first. Have you dreamt about me that way? Jen: Possibly. They kiss Jen: Dawson. Dawson: What? Jen: Crossing the line. Dawson: The line? You don't want? I thought you wanted this Jen. You've hinted...imply offered. Jen: I know, Dawson...it's just.. Dawson: I was taking your advice. You know, you don't think...do. Just something really spontaneous. Jen: I'm glad that you've embraced the philosophy, you know? It's just that we're finally friends now and I don't want to mess that up. I thought I'd take your lead on this one...hoping that different actions might create different results. Dawson: So the different action is taking no action? Jen: No, the different action is being your friend. Dawson: Like Joey was my friend? Jen: There's lots of ways to be someone's friend Dawson. We'll just have to figure that out. They start splashing each other again Cut to school. Chris and Abby are on the announcements.. Chris: I brought the Eastern Championship to Capeside now I approach my presidency with the same drive. So let's face the facts...there's only one true choice here. Abby: Remember..do you really want those other losers running your school? Joey: Andie, we can walk out right now. I mean, there's still dignity in resigning. Andie: No, I'm fine. I can do this. Abby: So get off your butts and vote Chris and Abby, you'll enjoy the ride. She turns the announcement mic off. Abby: It's as locked up as Joey's father. Schedule says the Coo-Coo Bird and the Convict's Daughter are up next. Andie: I can do this. Joey: Ready? Andie nods. Joey pushes the button to turn the mic on. Andie can't say anything. Andie: I can't do this, I'm sorry. I just can't. Abby: Gosh, I hope it wasn't something I said. It was all in the name of good ol' fashioned politics. Chris: I'm going to go kiss some babes. Abby: It's babies you idiot. Chris: My way's a lot more fun. Pacey sighs and walks towards the chair in front of the mic. Pacey: Abby...so what's the deal here? he hits the mic 'on' button so the whole school can hear the conversation Why are you slumming as vice-president for that guy when you are so obviously the brains behind this campaign? Abby: I'll let you in on a little secret there, sport. I'm just using that walking pen1s for his popularity and ultimately, I'll destroy him. Cut to Dawson and Jen's reaction when they hear this. Abby: (cont.) Just like I destroyed your little girlfriend. It's just so easy. And victory's so much sweeter when you have to walk on other people to get it. laughs I'm going to rule this school. And you and all those other halfwits are too stupid to stop me. Pacey: Yeah, you're probably right, I mean, I'm so stupid that I didn't know that when I pressed this button on this little thing that your annoying nasal whine was broadcast over this entire school. Oh no, wait a minute, that's exactly what I meant to do, sorry! My bad. to Kenny School's yours, pal. Kenny: Yes! Cut to Dawson's house. Gail: Careful honey, I just mopped the floor it might still be a little damp. Dawson: Okay. Gail: Oh, if you want a snack, I made oatmeal cookies, and a cake. Dawson: Alright. Gail: Oh, will you look at this? There are dust bunnies the size of small children on this windowsil. Dawson: Mom, what are these? Gail: Um....divorce papers. Your father had me served this morning. Dawson: Are you okay? Gail: Uh, yeah. I'll be alright, honey. I'm moving on. Cut to the Icehouse. Joey's locking up and Jack walks up behind her. Jack: Can I walk you home? Joey: Sure. Jack: Joey, I owe you an apoligy. I mean, it's been a tough couple of days. I know that's no excuse for me acting like an ass. Joey: I wanted to be there for you, Jack....but you kind of shoved me off. Jack: Yeah, well, when things get rough I tend to go on (?), you know, protect the family, nobody else matters. It's kind of second nature. Joey: I understand, it's just...I wish you'd let me help you. Jack: Joey, um, I can't allow myself the luxury of opening up. I mean, with my brother gone and my father missing in action. My mother and my sister they depend on me, you know? To be the rock. And I don't know. Sometimes I feel like...I can't even explain it. It's like my whole life is one big secret. Joey: You know, when my mom was dying...I had this friend who was amazing, and you know, a lot of times...I didn't feel like talking and you know, we would just sit, sometimes for hours and never say a word, and you know what? It helped. It did because being in the same place I knew that everything was going to be okay. And towards the end when things got really bad, he would just reach out and hold my hand. She reaches for Jack's hand. Cut to Andie's house. Andie is in the bathroom and she's been crying. The phone rings. Andie: Hello....Hey Pacey...Yeah um...I'm feeling a lot better now. she opens the cabinet and you see a medicine bottle No..um, tonight? she reaches for the bottle I don't think so. she opens it and puts some in her hand Yeah, it's not a good time...Yeah, I'll be back to my old self tomorrow though...I promise...okay....bye. she gets a glass of water and takes the medicine. Cut to Jen's house. Jen: Dawson, what are you doing here? Dawson: Um..my parents are getting divorced. I just needed to talk to my sponsor. I'm in a bit of a quandry. All this perception and psychobabble has left me with quite a dilemma. And what do I do with this news? I knew it was over, you know? I mean all the signs pointed to it. I just...kept hoping that it wouldn't go there. But they have. So now, um, do I have a self aware adult reaction to it or should I allow myself to feel the hurt and the shock that a kid in my position would feel? You know...I-I...which should win here? My head or my heart? My emotions or my brain? What'll win out? Jen: What always wins out Dawson? Dawson? He starts crying. Jen: C'mere. Dawson: Thanks for being here. Jen: Thanks for letting me.	Plan: A: Andie; Q: Who runs for student council? A: Joey; Q: Who does Jack shut out because he is worried about his sister? A: rival Abby; Q: Who exposes Andie's " Crazy Mum"? A: a campaign tactic; Q: Why does Abby expose Andie's " Crazy Mum"? A: a decison; Q: What does Andie have to make when she is pushed to the edge? A: Dawson; Q: Who is Jen trying to help channel his inner teenager for his next movie script? A: his parents divorce; Q: What is Dawson feeling helpless about? A: Jack; Q: Who shuts out Joey? Summary: Andie runs for student council and enlists Pacey and Joey's help.What she hasn't planned for is rival Abby who as a campaign tactic, exposes Andie's " Crazy Mum".Pushed to the edge, Andie has a decison to make.Jen trying to help Dawson channel his inner teenager for his next movie script, only makes him feel more helpless in his parents divorce Worried about his sister Jack shuts out Joey.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Shot of Angel closing the cellar doors and Darla biting Holland. Angel voice over: "I've done - things. Questionable things." Shot of the pile of bodies left in the cellar. Angel: "You're all fired." Cop confronting Gunn. Wesley: "Officer, wait!" Wesley gets shot. Angel drops the cigarette onto the gasoline trail. Fire races towards Darla and Dru and engulfs them. Cordy pushes the book Angel came to get against his chest. Cordy: "Here. I don't even know what you are anymore." Angel: "I'm a vampire." Angel wakes up beside Darla. Host voice over: "It's called a moment of clarity, my lamb. And you've just had one." Angel dropping to all fours on the balcony in the rain. Host: "And there's a chance you won't be able to put this back together." Cordy: "Angel." Angel: "Are you okay?" Cordy: "No." Angel: "I'm sorry. I wanna work for you." Cordy: "How do we know we can trust you?" Hyperion, day. Wesley: "This won't be easy for any of us, Angel. You're going to have to change your behavior. Engage your co-workers from time to time." Angel is sitting behind his desk, looking up at Wesley who is pacing in front of it while lecturing him. Wesley: "Be sensitive to their feelings, their opinions, especially before you take some action one might construe as - oh, let's just call it insane. It goes a long way to show you - appreciate and respect them." Wesley drops out of his lecturing tone for a moment: "This is torture for you, isn't it." Angel: "Yes." Wesley: "Good. - I think that's all for now." Angel: "Okay. Well, you know, I think I'll - I'll just, you know, sit and absorb it all." Wesley looks at him then glances around the office then back at Angel. Angel glances around the office then spreads his hands and gets up out of the chair. Angel: "Somewhere else. Not here. I mean, this is - your office - now. Yeah, I just, uhm, I'll get out of your hair." Angel walks towards the door without looking at Wesley. Wesley: "You're sure about this." Angel: "Absolutely. (Angel turns to face Wesley) You know what? I work for you. (Slides the doors behind him apart) I just need to find a place for me to..." Angel turns and sees Cordy adding a few pencil to the cup sitting on top of a little folding table next to her desk. Wesley: "I took the liberty of providing you with a new working space." Angel: "Great." Wesley: "And I'd love a cup of coffee." Angel with a laugh: "That's, that's very funny." Wesley slides the doors to his new office shut in Angel's face. Angel turns around to look at Cordy and Gunn. Cordy: "Two sugars in mine." Gunn: "Mocha cappuccino here." Both of them walk off, leaving Angel standing there alone. Angel: "Man. Atonement's a bitch." Intro A park at night. Two teenagers are sitting in a parked car, listening to music, talking and kissing. A hooded figure watches them from the bushes, then walks closer. The girl breaks away from the guy with a scream as the hooded figure smashes the driver's side window in. Gunn slaps a mace into the palm of his hand, then drops it into a box full of weapons. He picks the box up and walks away as Wesley comes up from behind the counter and drops some ring-binders on it. Cordy walks by in the background, carrying a box of papers. Angel comes down the stairs. Wesley looks at him and Angel slows, looks around. Wesley cocks his head towards Cordy. Angel shifts his feet then moves towards Cordy while Wesley looks back down with a slight smile. Angel walks over towards Cordy. Angel: "Uh..." Cordy, looking through the papers in her box, her back to Angel: "Don't." Angel: "Don't?" Cordy: "You're gonna start trying to make small talk, get all stammery. Don't. You might strain yourself." Angel looks over towards Wesley, who looks back at him over his shoulder. Angel turns back towards Cordy. Angel: "I just wanted to know how you were. Are. I mean, we really haven't had a chance..." Cordy picks up the box and Angel reaches for it. Angel: "Here let me get that for you." Cordy: "It's okay." Angel: "Nah, I'd be glad to." Cordy holds the box away from him: "I've got it." Angel throws an other look at Wesley, but Wesley's back remains turned towards them. Angel: "Okay." He steps back, shifting from foot to foot, and looks around. Cordy sets the box down and comes to stand in front of him. Cordy: "You wanna know how I am? Tired mostly - with sweaty running a close second. I'm also jazzed. Can't wait to get our business up and sputtering again - ready to help those helpless. - But, just so we understand each other - you and I? - We're not friends." Wesley throws a glance over his shoulder in their direction. Angel looks down, doesn't try to help Cordy as she picks the box up again. He tries to meet her eyes as she is about to walk past him. Suddenly her face scrunches up as she is hit by a vision. Letting the box drop, Angel grabs a hold of her arms and eases her down onto a chair. Angel: "Wesley." Blurry vision of the two kids being dragged out through the shattered car windows. Wesley is leaning over Cordy, with Angel hovering just behind him and Gunn leaning on the other side of Cordy's desk. Cordy: "Okay, she's screaming. They're pulling her from a car. Guys in robes. Blue robes." More blurry vision flashes. Cordy: "They're taking - people and, and, whoa, big bird." Gunn: "Big bird?" Cordy: "Not the muppet, you dumb ass." Wesley: "Where's the car, Cordelia?" Cordy: "Ah... Lafayette Park, near the fountain." Wesley: "Right. Let's move." Wesley and Gunn head out as Angel leans in closer to Cordy. Angel: "Are you, uh..." Cordy leans away, holding up a hand: "Fine." Angel: "You should, ah, take off. (Reaches for his jacket) I mean, ah, for the rest of the night. (Backs away from her to follow Wes and Gunn) Go home." Backs into one of the pillars, stumbles, then hurries towards the door. Angel: "Order - order Chinese." Cordy watches Angel run out. Cordy is turning off the lights on her way to leave the hotel. Slows and starts to look around the deserted lobby. Cordy in a small voice: "Hello? (louder) Hello?" She turns around and lets out a scream when she finds Harmony standing only a few steps behind her on the landing to the entrance. Harmony: "That's the way you greet an old friend?" Cordy screams again in a different tone. Cordy: "Harmony?" Harmony hurries down to her and they embrace. Cordy: "Harmony! I don't believe it!" Harmony laughing: "Yup. It's me." They break apart. Cordy: "Wow. I haven't seen you since..." Harmony: "Our high school blew up." Cordy: "Right. Right. Seems like a lifetime ago." Harmony nods: "Oh! For me, too, totally." Cordy: "Wow. Look at you. You look - different." Harmony: "Hey, I'm not the same person I was back at Sunnydale High. - And you - you - you cut your hair!" Cordy touches her hair: "Yeah." Harmony: "Well, I think it looks adorable off your neck." Cordy: "Thanks. I - was just, you know, looking for a change." Harmony: "Sure. Change. (Laughs) Change is good - sometimes. (Walks past Cordy towards the counter) So, this is where you do - whatever it is you do?" Cordy: "Detective Agency." Harmony: "Right. But - you're not a detective..." Cordy: "Uh, well, not me - technically, I'm... - Mostly, I manage things. The office." Harmony: "Huh. Sounds - rewarding." Cordy: "So, what are you doing here in town? Business?" Harmony: "No. No business. Play, play, play. - Uhm, I just broke up with someone. Real smothering relationship. You know, the kind where they just can't live without you?" Cordy: "Oh, sure. That one. - Hate that." Harmony: "I thought it would be a good time to come check out the L.A. nightlife, look up certain old friends." Cordy: "You got a place to stay?" Harmony: "You offering?" Cordy: "Do I have to say it?" Harmony: "Yeah." Cordy: "Okay, you're coming home with me. (Hugs her) I hope you don't mind the couch." Gunn, Angel and Wesley run up to the teenagers' car, see the doors hanging open, and the blood on the broken windows, but otherwise there is no one in sight. They stop, Wesley breathing hard and holding his side. Gunn looking around: "Now what?" Wesley: "We fan out. Gunn, search the area near the fountain. I'll take this path towards the picnic area. Angel, you..." We can hear some faint screaming. Angel: "Follow the screaming woman?" They take of in the direction of the screams. A woman is struggling against a figure wearing a hooded green robe. Green Robe sees Gunn, Angel and Wes running towards them. Picks up the woman and tosses her towards them. Angel catches the woman, while Gunn tackles Green Robe. Gunn pulls the hood back to reveal the rigged features of a vampire. Gunn: "Now see? What you want to go hiding such a pretty face for?" Gunn ducks under the vampire's swing then, holding on to the robe, hits the vampire with a hard right. The vampire struggles out of his robe and turns to run only to find himself face to face with Angel, stake at the ready. The vampire disappears in a cloud of dust. Angel looks at Gunn, but Gunn only lifts the robe as to wipe his face then lowers it again with a frown and walks over to where Wes is trying to calm down the woman. Wesley: "It's alright. It's over now. You'll be safe here." Gunn: "Cordelia said 'blue robes' didn't she?" Wesley: "It was dark. Perhaps she was mistaken." Angel: "Hey, I think we should give her the benefit of the doubt before just condemning her like that, don't - you?" Trails off as the other two look at him. Gunn to Wesley: "I'll do another quick sweep. See if those blue boys are still around." Wesley notices a symbol sown onto the robe. A triangle with a snake forming the number two inside of it. Wesley showing it to Angel: "Religious sect?" Angel: "I don't know." Wesley pulls out his cell phone. Wesley: "I'll put Cordelia on to it." Angel: "Uhm, - I-I gave her the night off." Wesley: "Did you?" Angel: "Well, I though, you know, she looked so tired and - I mean, the vision took a lot out of her. Do-do you think, maybe, that I should - send her something? Some flowers maybe?" Wesley: "Flowers." Angel: "Yeah, uh, to say, you know, 'thanks.' Uhm. 'Sorry about the migraines.' Uhm, you know, '-II appreciate you?'" Wesley: "Yes, by all means. And uh, while you're at it pick me up one of those 'sorry you were shot in the gut' bouquets." Angel: "Right. Sorry." Wesley: "You can't buy back her trust, Angel, - or her affections." Angel: "She said, uh - she said we're not friends." Wesley: "I know. - There is only one thing you can give her, Angel. And that's time. Cordelia has a lot of pain to work through." Cut to Cordy laughing her head off. She and Harmony are sitting on the couch in her apartment wearing house robes, their heads wrapped up in towels. Harmony laughing: "The cackle." Cordy: "Remember in ninth grade remedial Spanish - Donnie something." Harmony: "Oh! Donnie Ray, yes." Cordy: "That's him. He followed me everywhere." There is a half-empty bottle of red wine on the table and both of them have wine glasses in their hands. Harmony: "Oh, oh, and he wrote that love song to you. How did it go?" Cordy and Harmony singing: "Oh, Cordeeelia, how I long to feel ya!" They break into laughter. Cordy: "Eww!" Harmony: "Oh, god. We totally ruled." They clink glasses. Cordy: "Yup, that we did." Harmony: "We were powerful, rich, popular." Cordy: "None of that's changed for me - apart from the powerful, rich and popular. - But I tell you one thing: I am happier now than I was then." Harmony: "Get out." Cordy: "It's hard to explain. I'm telling you. It's like - I don't know. I had these air pockets inside of me, and the work I'm doing, uh, we're doing, it's-it's like the pockets keep getting filled and I'm becoming me and... (Harmony laughs) me has had way too much to drink and me shut up. (Pushes Harmony with her foot) You now. You barely told me anything." Harmony: "Uhm, well, uh, what can I say? Things are faboo. I'm having a ball and a half. I mean, I did just get out of that really unhealthy relationship. And just, you know, feeling really good about me in general." Cordy after a beat: "Well, good for you - in general. Well, you must be doing something right, because you look (sees Harmony making a face) - crampy. Are you okay?" Harmony: "Yeah. Just (takes a deep breath and looks over at Cordy's neck) hungry - I guess." Cordy: "Got the cure for that. - Pizza!" Laughs and leans across Harmony to reach for the phone on the side table. Harmony is suddenly in vamp-face, but by the time Cordy sits back, phone in hand, she is back in her human face. Cordy: "I know just the place to call. It's my favorite. Thin crust, heavy on the sauce. Do you like pineapple and Tandori Chicken?" Harmony: "Oh, yeah. It's all good." Break Cordy is lying asleep in bed. The door opens slowly to reveal - two feet in fuzzy pink slippers. The camera pans up past long legs to show us Harmony standing in the door wearing a white negligee, staring at Cordy's neck and licking her lips. She walks over to the bed and slowly sits down on its edge. Suddenly the door slams shut and Cordy startles awake. Harmony: "I didn't do that." Cordy: "Harmony? (Turns on the bedside lamp and rubs her eyes) I have a ghost. - What - What are you doing in my..." Harmony: "Nothing!" Cordy: "Harmony." Harmony: "I'm sorry. - I thought I could control myself. I thought I could control these urges." Cordy sitting up: "Urges?" Harmony: "You have no idea how hard it is to stay away from you. I mean, seeing you there looking so - so luscious." Cordy: "Oh. - Oh! You're a..." Harmony: "I should have told you. I was - scared. Scared that if you found out what I was - you'd kill me." Cordy: "Oh. No, Harmony - god, you really think I'm that narrow-minded? - I don't care about that!" Harmony: "You don't?" Cordy: "No! Not as long as you're happy." Harmony: "Happy. What's that? The last time I remember being truly happy was being back in school with you. Now here I am taking advantage of you?" Cordy: "No. It's - it's just... It's just that I had no idea - that you, you know - thought of me that way." Harmony: "I don't! I swear. It's just, - well, I haven't had any for a while and... (Sees Cordy's look and gets up) Oh, forget it. This is stupid. I'll just go back to the couch. I'm really sorry." Cordy: "Don't be. If you wanna stay and talk..." Harmony: "No, I'd better... You know, I'd appreciate it if you didn't - mention this to anyone." Cordy: "It's our secret." Cordy's apartment, day. Cordy is on the phone. Cordy: "How come you guys didn't tell me about Harmony. Sunnydale is that far away you couldn't afford a little phone call?" Willow is sitting on her bed at the dorm, phone to her ear, brushing her teeth. Willow: "Harmony? (Takes the toothbrush out of her mouth and swallows) Wha-what about Harmony?" Cordy: "She's here - in L.A." Willow: "Yikes. Big yikes. Uh. What happened? Did she come after you?" Cordy: "Yeah! She practically attacked me in my bedroom last night." Willow: "Your bedroom. How did she..." Cordy: "Came in while I was sleeping. Good thing I woke up, too. She was ready to jump me right there! But I think she got the message that I don't' go for that sort of stuff when I shot her down." Willow: "You wounded her?" Cordy: "She'll get over it. I never should have invited her to stay with me." Willow: "Say what?" Cordy: "Yeah, I know. Awkward much?" Willow: "Cordelia! Okay. We're all clear on the fact that Harmony is a vampire, right?" Cordy: "Oh. Harmony is a vampire? - That's why she - oh, my god, I'm so embarrassed! (Giggles) All this time I thought she was a great big lesbo! - Oh, yeah? Really? - Well, that's great! Good for you." Willow: "Thanks for the affirmation. Cordelia, Harmony is very dangerous. You have to get out of there!" Cordy: "Okay. Yeah. (Behind her Harmony appears in the doorway) I'll call you when I get somewhere safe." Harmony: "Where are you going?" Cordy puts the phone down and turns to see Harmony watching her. Wesley is looking through some old book while Angel paces behind him, holding the green robe in his hands. Angel: "There is a label on here. Maybe I can locate the manufacturer." Wesley: "Already looked into it. The name's a fake. No listing anywhere." Angel: "Okay. I should go out, see if I can pick up any information on the street." Wesley: "You mean the street bathed in morning sunlight? - Relax. I already got Gunn contacting his sources." Angel: "Any suggestions on what I can do?" Phone rings. Wesley: "You can answer that." Angel goes to pick up the phone. Angel: "Angel Investig... Willow? Willow. What's... - Slow down. What's - hold on." The door of Cordy's apartment burst open and Wes and Angel run in, stake and crossbow at the ready. Wesley aiming his crossbow at Harmony: "Get away from her (realizes that Harmony is painting Cordy's toenails) foot!" Cordy: "What do you think you're doing?" Angel: "We're... Willow called. She said that you were in trouble." Wesley: "You're friend Harmony here is a..." Cordy: "Vampire. Yeah, I know." Wesley: "An evil vampire." Harmony: "Yeah, we covered that, too." Angel: "So..." Cordy: "So you thought you just bust into my house and kill my friend without giving her a chance to explain herself." Angel and Wesley exchange a look. Wesley: "Yeah." Angel: "Pretty much." Wesley: "That was our plan." Cordy: "Well, holster your guns, boys. She came to me for help. - That's what we do, right? Help?" With a sigh Angel puts his stake away, but Wes takes a step closer, crossbow still aimed squarely at Harmony. Wesley: "That is not your friend. That thing may have your friend's memories and her appearance, but it's just a filthy demon, an unholy monster. Uh, no offence." Harmony: "About what?" Wes gets ready to shoot Harmony, but Angel pushes the crossbow down. Angel: "Wes, you can't. If Cordelia here feels that her friend doesn't pose a threat then I think that we should respect her wishes." Wes stares at Angel, while Cordy gives Angel a strange look. Then Wes takes a step back and aims his crossbow at Angel. Angel: "I'm just saying..." Cordy is still squinting at Angel. Wesley: "Cordelia, we need you at the office." Cordy looks from Harmony to the guys then gets up off the couch. Cordy: "Let me get my coat." Wesley: "So, uhm, you're just going to leave her here? - A vampire, alone in your home, risking your neighbors lives." Cordy: "Hey, I told you, Harmony is my friend and I trust her completely." Harmony smiles up at Wesley from the couch. Cordy: "Harmony can stay here." Harmony: "I don't wanna stay alone here with the ghost." Everyone turns to look at her. Wesley is flipping through the pages of an old book lying on the counter in the Hyperion's lobby, while Cordy is looking for information with the computer. Wesley: "The triangle evokes pyramidal imagery but there is nothing with both the serpent and the pyramid as a symbol." Harmony comes over and climbs up on a stool next to Wesley, loudly chewing some gum. Wesley: "Doesn't appear to be either hieroglyphic or... (Harmony pops a bubble) Do you mind?" Harmony: "Well, I'm kinda bored, but - go ahead." Wesley stares at her for a moment then walks over to Cordy's desk. Angel: "Yeah, well, look, the red bird you saw in your vision, was it, ah, you know, an eagle, a hawk, a falcon?" Cordy: "What am I? The bird lady of Alcatraz? It had wings and a beak. For all I know it was a duck. A big - red duck." Wesley: "Perhaps it's an idol or a totem the cult uses in its rituals, or..." Wesley looks over towards Harmony, chewing her gum - loudly, and tapping a pencil on the counter top. Harmony laughing: "Duck worshippers?" Angel: "It could also be a landmark of some kind, telling us their hiding place." Wesley: "Well, I'm unaware of any red bird statuary in downtown Los Angeles, so unless you are I suggest.. (Harmony's popping another bubble) someone put a stake through that woman's heart if she persists in popping her bloody chewing gum!" Cordy gets up from her desk. Cordy: "Harmony, do me a favor, lose the gum." Harmony: "Okay, okay! Sorry. I thought it would help with the cravings." Rips a page out of the book Wesley was looking at earlier and spits her gum into it at the others stare at her. Harmony: "I mean, you'd think I'd get a thank you for not biting any of you." Wesley Pulls the book off the counter and snatches the crumpled up page from her hand. Wesley: "What are you doing!?! This book is twelve centuries old!" Harmony: "Okay. So it's not like I messed up a new one." Wesley puts the book down on Cordy's desk. Cordy: "Wes, it's not like she did it on purpose." Harmony: "That's right. And I could have. Because, you know, I am evil." Wesley pulls a stake out of Cordy's desk and lunges at Harmony. Cordy jumps on him from behind, wrapping her arms around him. Cordy: "Wesley! Wesley!" Angel grabs a hold of Harmony's arm and pulls her to the side. Angel: "Harmony, there is blood in the refrigerator. Why don't we get you some and let everyone get back to work?" Angel opens the fridge, takes out a container of blood and pours some into a cup for Harmony. Angel: "Here we go. That's it. Drink up." Harmony takes the cup and starts to drink. Harmony: "Eww! Yech! It tastes funky." Angel: "It's pig's blood." Harmony: "Ugh, well, that's gonna go straight to my hips. (Sighs) How do you stand this?" Angel: "You get used to it." Harmony: "I mean how do you stand everything? Being what you are, how can you deprive yourself of the taste? The sensation of rich, warm, human blood - flowing into your mouth - bathing your tongue - caressing your throat with its sweet, sticky..." Gunn: "I'm back!" Angel turning away from Harmony: "Me too." Gunn walks down into the lobby while Angel drops onto a stool and leans onto the counter. Gunn: "Oh, I see we have company." Waves at Harmony and smiles. Harmony gives him a wink and a smile while pouring sugar into her cup of pig's blood. Cordy slaps her hand on the counter in front of Gunn to get his attention. Cordy: "That is Harmony. She's visiting for a couple of days." Wesley: "It's alright to speak freely in front of her. She's a vampire." Wes gives Cordy a look. Gunn, no longer smiling: "Don't we kill 'em any more?" Angel: "What did you find out?" Gunn: "Alright. Robed vampires been grabbing people off the street for a while now, almost a month." Cordy: "A month? How come we didn't know about it?" Angel: "Well, we've all been a little distracted lately." Gunn: "Yeah. Or maybe we haven't heard because not a lot of bodies been turning up." Angel: "They're not feeding. They're turning them." Cordy: "Into vampires?" Wesley: "Someone's recruiting, building an army." Gunn: "Question is, for what?" Doug: "The time is here. The time is now." The camera pans over a gathering of vampires all clothed in different colored robes in what looks to be a run down theater. Doug: "The question is: are you ready?" Some scattered 'yeahs' from the crowd. Doug: "Are you ready!?!" Crowd yells louder. On the stage a vampire puts back the hood of his light blue robe and faces the crowd. Doug: "Because it's time. Everybody, take a seat. (they sit) It's time to actualize your potential. Time to maximize your personal input and get the most out of your afterlife. To those in here for the first time I just want to say - hi. (Some in the crowd answer) Hi. You're special. You each have it in you to be the best vampire. Not just any vampire, but a master! How? I'll show you. (Points at a poster with a multilevel pyramid on it) Through my personally devised, multi-level, exponential flow cooperative. Yeah, I know what some of you are saying. 'Hey, Doug, speak English, man!' Okay, don't stake me, guys, alright? (scattered laughter) This is how it works." He flicks a button on the remote he is holding and two diagrams of a multilevel pyramid appear on the big screen behind him, flanking the picture of the serpent-two inside the triangle emblem embroidered on all of their robes. The tip of it is light blue and has one person in it. The next level is yellow and holds two figures. Doug: "One vampire turns two humans into vampires. (flicks a switch to the next slide showing the next level down) they each turn to more humans into vampires (flicks to the next slide) and they turn to more into vampires(flick) and so on (flick) and so on. And all it takes for each new vampire to buy their way into our co-op is one, you heard me, one human - to be deposited here in our very own food bank." The lights on stage change, revealing a cage full of humans. The audience gets to their feet and starts applauding. Doug: "How about that, huh? You turn two into vampires, and you bring one for the food bank. You turn two, and the rest is food. Let me hear it. Turn two, the rest is food." The crowd starts to say it with him. "Turn two, the rest is food." Wesley is pushing pins into a map, while Angel sits on the edge of a desk in the background with his arms crossed, watching. Wesley: "Next?" Gunn: "Two USC students grabbed in a parking garage. Fourth and Figueroa." Wesley: "Got it. Next." Gunn: "Guy was snatched to blocks over on sixth." Wesley: "Really? When was this?" Gunn: "Last night. Heard about it from one of my guys." Cordy is sitting in front of the computer with Harmony sitting on the edge of her desk watching her. Cordy: "What?" Harmony: "Nothing. It's just - I can't believe this is what you do now. We always said we were going to do something cool with our lives. Now look at us. You're an office manager and I'm dead." Cordy: "Yeah, well, life takes some funny turns sometimes. - Maybe I'm not where I though I would be, but it's still... Ho! Hey! Hello! Guys? Found something." Wesley, Gunn and Angel come to look at what she's found. Cordy: "And there is nothing mystical about this. Department of Justice website. It's a logo for a defunct pyramid scheme." Gunn: "Vamps running money scams now? That's low." Cordy: "This particular one was run by a motivational speaker and - ugh, lord help me - self-described 'life-coach' named Doug Sanders. Held meetings all over the city until the feds caught up with him." Angel: "He was arrested?" Cordy: "According to this he disappeared. Still at large." Wesley: "Sounds like he has the makings of a cult leader." Cordy: "Oh, hold on. Here is something: a list of his known meeting sites - and a picture!" Gunn: "Now we're talking!" Harmony: "Oh, let me see!" Harmony, cup of pig's blood in hand, leans over to get a look at it. The blood spills all over the keyboard and screen, causing it to spark and fizzle and the screen to fade out. Cordy jumps and lets out a squeak while Harmony gives her an apologetic smile. Harmony: "Okay, that was my fault." Wesley: "Get her out of here. Now." Cordy: "Come on, Harm." Wesley: "Such a fitting nickname." Picks up the keyboard and holds it sideways to let the blood drip out. Wesley: "Oh, bloody hell." Harmony goes to sit on one of the chairs in the lobby. Harmony: "This was a mistake. I should never have come here. I'm just getting in the way. Messing up, like always." Cordy sits down next to her. Cordy: "Don't talk like that." Harmony: "Easy for you to say. You've got friends. - I don't have anyone who understands what I'm going through." Cordy looks over at the three guys clustered around her desk then back at Harmony. Cordy: "I know someone who understands a little something about pain. (Yells to the guys) We're going out!" Harmony is sitting on stage singing "Memories." Harmony: "Memories may be beautiful and yet, what's to painful to remember we choose to forget..." Cordy is sitting at a table with the Host. Cordy: "So, ah, - what do you think?" Host: "I think your friend should reconsider the name Harmony." Harmony: "...the way we were. The way we were." Harmony laughs and holds out her hands and there is some sporadic clapping as she comes over to Cordy's table and sits down. Harmony: "That was so - fun! I can't believe I did that!" Host: "Well, color us incredulous." Cordy: "Harmony is looking for a little guidance." Host: "Yeah, I picking up on the 'betwixed and between, got to find my corner of the sky' vibe loud and clear, kitten." Harmony: "So you can help me." Host: "No. (Cordy and Harmony stare at him) But I can treat you to a complimentary carafe of plasma. The AB-negative here is superb - or so I'm told." Cordy: "Wait a minute. That's it?" Harmony: "Yeah. You're supposed to do some mind mojo, show me my path." Host: "You're already on it my little cacophony. Only I'm not your travel agent for this trip. (Inclines his head towards Cordy) Brown eyes here is. Stick with her and let your pal be your guide." The Host blows Harmony a kiss as he gets up and leaves. Harmony: "Cacophony. That's pretty. What's it mean?" Wesley, Gunn and Angel walk into the bar. Wesley: "Cordy." Cordy gets up and goes over to them. Wesley: "I realize you have, ah, other concerns at the moment, but we need you." Cordy: "Why?" Gunn: "Most of the attacks been taking place within a ten blocks radius. Now we figure the cult's headquarters must be somewhere near the center." Angel: "And look, we want to drive around the area. Maybe you can pick up some - vibe from you vision or see something?" Cordy: "Like a red bird." Angel: "For instance." Cordy: "Okay. (Goes back to the table) Harmony. I have to go. Work stuff. Uh, you're okay here?" Harmony: "You kidding? Free blood, potato skins. Hey, I'm thinking about doing another number. Now what do you think: Candle in the Wind or the Princess Diana Candle in the Wind?" The guys shift impatiently. Cordy: "Go nuts. Do 'em both." Harmony smiling: "Ooo. Yeah. Okay. Like the green guy said: you're my guide." Cordy walks back over to the guys. Gunn: "Hey, hold up. Just so we're on the same page. When we find this vampire cult, we are gonna kill 'em, right?" Wesley: "Let's do it." Cut to the gang walking, shoulder to shoulder, down the sidewalk outside of Caritas. The camera pans across from a serious and focused Wesley, to Gunn, to Angel, to Cordelia and on to - a grinning Harmony. Cordy does a double take when she suddenly notices Harmony walking beside her. Cordy: "Harmony?" They all stop and look at her. Harmony: "I just got it. He said, stick with you. I understand now where my place is." Angel looks over at Gunn and Wesley. Cordy: "Where?" Harmony steps between Cordy and Angel and puts an arm around each of their shoulders, smiling. Harmony: "With you! I'm one of the good guys now." Angel looks over at Wesley. Break. [SCENE_BREAK] Harmony is sitting in the back of Angel's convertible between Cordy and Gunn as they're all driving down the street. Harmony: "Who-hoo! This is gonna be great! I am an evil fighter! That's why I suck at being evil. I was meant to fight evil! It's so clear to me now. (Turns to Cordy) Is this what it feels like to have a purpose? I mean, wow! Look at us. We're working together. I've never had a job before. We can meet at the water cooler and gossip." Cordy: "Harm, I'm trying to concentrate." Harmony: "Oh. Sorry. (Turns to Gunn) So. How long have you been fighting evil? I mean, I just started but, you know, I've got some moves." Wesley as Harm keeps talking: "Angel!" Angel: "It's your place to tell her." Wesley: "She won't listen to me." Angel: "Welcome to my world." Harmony: "That would be so funny. Oh - do we get paid vacations?" Cordy: "Stop! Stop the car. Pull over here." Angel pulls the car over and they all squint up at a sculpted phoenix decoration above a theater marquee with the words 'closed for repairs' on it. Angel: "Is that..?" Cordy: "I don't... I'm not sure." All of them get out of the car. Wesley: "The bird you saw was red." Cordy: "It is. I mean, it was." Gunn: "Looks more like a puke green." Harmony: "And nothing like a duck." Cordy: "There's just - something familiar." Angel looks over at Cordy then walks towards the building. Gunn: "Well, we passed this place before. Maybe that's all it is." Wesley: "Cordelia?" Cordy: "No. No, I guess it isn't it." Wesley: "Right. Back in the car. We'll keep... (Looks around) Where's Angel?" Suddenly a red neon arrow sign comes to life, throwing a red glow over the bird. Angel: "Electronics store forgot to turn on its lights." Cordy smiles at the others: "Ha, I told you this was it!" Wesley: "Right. (Wes and Gunn grab some weapons out of the trunk) Angel, Cordelia, cover the front. Gunn and I will go around the building, see if there's another way in." Harmony: "What about me? What's my job?" Wesley: "Uhm... Guard the car." Harmony: "You got it, boss! (Sits on the edge of the hood) Anyone comes near this car, I will rips his throat out." Wesley: "No. No killing." Harmony: "Oh. Okay, maiming only." Wes and Cordy together: "No!" Gunn: "Hey. Can we yell a little louder? I'm not sure the crazed cult of vampires heard us sneaking up on them." Cordy: "Just go. I'll talk to her." Wes and Gunn move off. Cordy moves towards Harmony, but Angel takes a hold of her elbow and pulls her a little ways away. Cordy: "Hey! Touching! With the hands." Angel lets go of her. Angel: "You know, I've tried not to say anything. (Takes a deep breath) Tried to take a step back and just let things sort themselves out, but - Harmony can not work with us." Cordy: "I know. It's just temporary. I mean, look at her. She's really loving this. Giving her a reason to go on." Angel: "I don't want her to go on. Neither should you. - She's the enemy." Cordy: "Now you sound like Wesley." Angel: "Because he's right. - Harmony will turn on you." Cordy looks over to where Harmony is still leaning against the hood of the car. Cordy: "Why? Because you did?" Angel: "Because it's her nature. She's a vampire." Cordy: "So are you." Angel: "She doesn't have a soul." Cordy: "Oh. That's it, is it? You're better than her because you have a soul?" Angel: "Well, yeah." Cordy: "I noticed yours didn't get in the way of betraying the people who worked with you, who cared about you." Angel: "I never..." Cordy: "And you know, you didn't just betray me, Angel. You didn't just hurt me. You gave away my clothes." Angel: "To the needy." Cordy: "I am the needy! - Do you know how scared I was you were on you're way to becoming Angelus again? Imagine what could have happened if you'd gone nuts and slept with Darla." Angel, not meeting her eyes: "You know I would never do that..." Gunn and Wes come back just then. Gunn: "Building's shut tight. No way to see what's inside." Wesley: "Or how many." Angel: "Okay, You know what, I'll go in, uh, pretend like I want to join, get a head count, lay of the land." Gunn: "Come on, man. You'd get made ten feet from the door. Too many night crawlers in this town know what you look like." Wesley: "Some can sense your soul." Angel: "Right." Cordy: "Harmony!" Harmony comes over, smiling. Harmony: "Yeah?" Cordy: "She doesn't have a soul and nobody knows her here. She could be our inside spy. Tell us what's the what." Harmony: "Me?" Wesley: "Out of the question." Gunn: "I got a bad feeling about this." Cordy: "Come on. I know she can do this. (To Harmony) You can do this, right?" Harmony: "Well,- I kind of thought I'd start out with some light typing, car guarding, something low pressure?" Cordy: "This is the chance you needed. To find a purpose." Harmony: "But I thought I had purpose guarding the... (Takes a deep breath and smiles) Yeah. Okay. I wanna do this." Wesley after a beat: "Alright Harmony. You're on." Harmony smiles at Cordy: "Watch out Evil (morphs into vamp-face) here comes Harmony." Harmony strides towards the theater. Cordy calls after her: "Hey. We'll meet you out back!" Harmony walks into the theater to a table attended by two vampires. One of them hands her a book with Doug's picture on the front and the heading of 'Selective Slaughter - Turning a bloodbath into a blood bank' We can hear Doug speaking on stage in the background. Doug: "I can hear you saying 'but I'm not like you, Doug. I don't have what it takes.' That's just the voice of your inner human spreading the ghostly remnants of neurosis from your past life. Instead say: 'I'm in control of my unlife.'" Harmony walks into the theater where Doug is presenting a green robe to the audience. Doug: "Let's have a nice big hand for Tibor, graduating to the yellow level." Applause as Tibor changes robes. Doug: "Now. With each level ascension, there are rewards." Doug flicks a switch on the remote he's holding and the screen behind him slides up revealing the cage full of humans. Doug: "Grab yourself a nice juicy one, Tibor. You've earned it!" The crowd cheers wildly as Tibor runs over to the cage, reaches in and grabs the wrist of one of the humans. Pulling her arm through the bars, Tibor sinks his teeth into the woman's wrist and drinks. Harmony, sitting in the crowd, looks around then begins to clap half-heartedly. Wesley, Angel, Cordy and Gunn walk up to the back of the theater. Wesley: "She should have been back by now." Angel: "Maybe she ran into trouble." Cordy: "Give her a few more minutes." Wesley looks at his watch: "I knew this was a bad idea." Angel: "Look, if she's in trouble we'll rescue her." Gunn: "Now we saving a vampire from vampires? I got two words for that: nuh and ah." Cordy: "That is so... (Sees someone behind Gunn) Harmony! Are you okay?" Harmony, still in vamp-face: "Fine. There is maybe a hundred of them in there, give or take. There's a cage holding about a dozen people." Cordy: "You did it. You so rule!" Harmony, jumping up and down: "I know! Oh. And I left the door in back open. Come on." They all follow her into the theater, Angel bringing up the rear. Harmony: "You know, Cor, I really got to thank you again for giving me this opportunity. You guys have all been so great. I mean, you could have totally staked me in Cordelia's apartment." Harmony leads them down some stairs onto what looks like a back stage area. Harmony: "And hay, who could have blamed you? I mean, one more incredibly sexy vampire turned to dust. But you guys helped my find my destiny and you know, I really appreciate that. I never felt like I belonged anywhere before." Wesley scanning the dim surroundings crossbow held at the ready: "Yes, yes, uh, you're welcome. - Uh, the vampires, where are they?" Harmony: "Oh. Right behind you." Some stage lights come on and vampires appear around them. Harmony: "I belong with them." Break The stage screen slides up revealing that they're all on the stage as Doug steps out of the wings. Doug: "Now that is what I call and impressive display of potential actualization. Look. A member of our organization for less than twenty minutes and look at what she's delivered (points as Wes and Gunn) two to turn (looks at Cordy) and one for food. And as a bonus the infamous Angel. - I think someone just made the ascension to blue robe status." A vampire brings Harmony a blue robe as she claps excitedly, then puts it on. Harmony: "Oh, goody!" Doug: "Congratulations, Harmony." There are cheers from the spectators in the seats in front of the stage. Harmony: "Just taking the first steps to mastering my destiny, Doug, like you said." Cordy leveling her crossbow at Harmony: "Well, Harmony, aren't you just about the most weak-willed, soft-brained..." Harmony: "Huh-uh. Doug says those kind of comments are self-growth inhibitors. I tune out mental roadblocks." Cordy looks back at Angel. Doug, leaning one elbow on a ledge: "Oh, I'm sorry. You can all put your weapons down now. (None of them do) Really Angel, you don't want all your friends to die horribly now, do you?" Angel: "No I don't. - Wesley?" Wesley: "Kill 'em all!" And with that the team springs into action. Wes and Cordy firing their crossbows, while Gunn attacks with his ax and Angel with his fists and stake. Beyond the stage lights we can see robed vampires sitting in the audience, watching. Angel dusts one vampire and sends another one flying into the seats. The vampires that one lands on start heading up the aisle towards the exit, starting a mass exodus. Cordy hits Harmony across the chin. A yellow robed vamp hits Wesley in his recently healed gut, causing him to hunch over but before he can do any more damage Angel pulls him off Wes and buries a stake in its chest. Gunn drops a yellow robed vamp on its back but before he can kill it, he is grabbed from behind by a blue robe. Harmony hits Cordy, sending her flying backwards through the air. Gunn gets the blue guy off his back while Angel helps Wes to his feet. Angel: "Are you okay?" Wesley: "Yeah." Angel: "Get to the cage. Get those people out." Wesley limps over to the cage door. Wesley: "I'll get you out of here." He tries to get the door open but can't. Angel, keeping an eye on Wesley, is jumped from behind and pushed to the floor by Doug and the two of them start to fight. Doug grabs a fire ax from the wall and swings at Angel. Doug: "Why are you working with these humans, Angel? You should be maximizing you inner potential, empowering your vampire self." Harmony tosses Cordy face down to the floor. Gunn stakes a green robe. Harmony rolls Cordy over onto her back and finds herself with a loaded crossbow at her throat. Harmony laughs. Cordy: "What's so funny?" Harmony: "Your crossbow. You got it aimed at my throat. You can be so stupid. That won't kill me." Cordy: "No, that'll just hurt like hell." Sits up and with her left points a second crossbow at her heart Cordy: "This one will kill you." Wesley is still struggling with the locked cage. A green robe sticks him with a cattle prod and Wes drops to the floor with a groan. As the green robe gets ready to jab Wes again, Gunn comes up from behind and stakes it. A key drops to the ground, followed by some dust. Wes grabs the key. Gunn reaches a hand down and helps Wes up, then they unlock the cage. Angel is dodging the wild swings of Doug's ax. Harmony backs away from Cordy as she gets up, crossbow aimed at Harmony's heart. Harmony, panting: "Okay. You're angry. And I don't blame you. I just, you know... and it's nothing personal. I'm evil. We're still friends, right?" Cordy tightens her finger on the trigger and Harmony squeezes her eyes shut. Gunn and Wes are directing the freed humans towards the back exit. Angel hits Doug, then grabs a hold of him and throws him against the wall, causing him to drop his ax - which Angel picks up and uses to behead Doug as he comes back up. Cordy slowly lowers her crossbow and Harmony hesitantly opens her eyes. Harmony in a small voice: "We're still friends, right?" Cordy: "No, Harmony. We're not friends. Just get out of here." Harmony: "Really?" Cordy: "Not just here. I want you out of my city. You're gonna wanna be as far away from me as possible." Harmony: "But I left a few things at your (Cordy raises the crossbow) Bye." Harmony turns and runs up the stairs, looking back at Cordy once to see that she still has the crossbow trained on her. The camera shows up Cordy with Angel standing a few steps behind her, ax still in hand. Cordy: "Don't say anything. Not a word." Angel glances up the stairs then looks in the direction Cordy just left. Hyperion, day. Wesley is sitting behind the desk in his office, looking at some papers. The door opens and Angel sticks his head in. Angel: "You wanted to see me?" Wesley: "Yes. Please, come in. Oh, close the door." Angel closes the door and Wes lays the papers aside then takes a deep breath. Wesley: "I just... (Indicates a chair and Angel sits down) I just thought we should touch base, ah, before Cordelia arrived this morning. I know things have been, uh... strained between the two of you, and working in such close quarters it's..." Angel: "It's- it's okay, Wesley, really. I mean, Cordelia has every right to feel the way that she does and I'm willing to give her the room that she needs." Wesley after a beat: "Good. - Good. (Smiles and gets up) I think that's just the right attitude. (Angel gets up too) Time and space. Those are really the only things one can give in a situation like this. As long as we both understand that, the healing process can..." He is interrupted by a scream from Cordelia coming from the outer office. Cordy burst in through the doors, a shirt draped over each arm. Cordy to Angel: "Oh, my god. These are gorgeous! You have the most amazing taste! You have, like - a gay man's taste, and that's saying something." Wesley glances past Cordy and sees that there are even more clothes draped all over Cordy's desk. Cordy: "I love them so much!" Throws her arms around Angel and kisses him on the cheek. Cordy: "Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best!" Kisses him again as Angel grins from ear to ear. Wesley narrows his eyes at Angel and folds his arms across his chest. Cordy: "I have to go try these on. " Smiles at Angel then Wes and begins to dance in place singing, 'la, la, la, la, la, new clothes! I have new clothes!' Angel, still grinning broadly looks towards Wes, who's not smiling. Cordy dances out of the room: "New clothes, I have new clothes!" Angel: "I got her clothes." Angel watches her leave with a smile, then walks out through a different door, leaving Wesley alone in his office, arms crosses, not looking happy - while the sounds of Cordy's celebrating still drift in through the open door. FADE TO BLACK	Plan: A: Cordelia; Q: Who is shocked when Harmony unexpectedly shows up in Los Angeles? A: old friend; Q: What is Harmony to Cordelia? A: her apartment; Q: Where does Cordelia invite Harmony to stay? A: old times; Q: What does Cordelia want to catch up on with Harmony? A: a strange midnight encounter; Q: How did Cordelia learn that Harmony is a vampire? A: Willow; Q: Who does Cordelia contact to find out that Harmony is a vampire? A: a lesbian; Q: What did Cordelia think Harmony was? A: Wesley; Q: Who is not as accepting of Harmony's condition as the others? A: a brief encounter; Q: How long did Harmony's encounter with Lorne last? A: Lorne; Q: Who tells Harmony to stick with Cordelia? A: the gang; Q: Who does Harmony tag along with? A: humans; Q: What is being kidnapped? Summary: Cordelia is shocked when old friend Harmony unexpectedly shows up in Los Angeles. Cordelia invites her to stay at her apartment and catch up on old times. After a strange midnight encounter, Cordelia contacts Willow and is surprised to learn that Harmony is a vampire, not a lesbian as she initially thought. Wesley is not as accepting of Harmony's condition as the others and fears the worst. After a brief encounter with Lorne in which he tells her to stick with Cordelia, Harmony tags along with the gang as they investigate the kidnapping of humans.
FRONTIER IN SPACE BY: MALCOLM HULKE 5:50pm - 6:15pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: SPACE (A large dull grey space ship cruises silently through space. It has crane-like appendages at the front and rockets at the rear.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. CARGO SHIP. BRIDGE (The bridge has two control consoles at a slight angle to each other. Each has a monitor in the wall and pilot's seat before it. Several personal photographs have been stuck to the walls above the consoles. Occupying the chairs are HARDY and STEWART, the only crew of the ship. They are both in their thirties and wear brown uniforms with large cushioned sleeve-ends and shoulder pads. Both men are in the process of completing flight checks. A microphone on a long stalk protrudes from both of the desks. HARDY speaks into his.) HARDY: (Into radio.) This is Earth cargo ship C982 on course and on schedule. We shall be entering hyperspace in... (Checks.) ...fifty seconds. (A counter in the wall clicks away with the revised schedule. STEWART sighs and leans back in his chair as HARDY starts to strap himself into the seatbelt built into his chair.) STEWART: You know what I'd like? HARDY: What? STEWART: A job on one of those luxury space liners. First Officer on the Mars-Venus cruise - that'd suit me. HARDY: Hmm, you can keep it! Spit and polish, cocktail parties and all those passengers? STEWART: Gold braid uniform, beautiful stewardesses? (Smiles.) Yeah, I'd take that any time. HARDY: You're more likely to wind up pushing a battle cruiser. STEWART: There no...there's not going to be an interplanetary war. HARDY: Didn't you see the videocast last night? "The President of Earth's government deplores the Draconian attack on two of Earth's cargo vessels." (STEWART starts to manipulate his bank of controls.) STEWART: Look, they steal a few of our cargoes, we steal a few of theirs. It'll all blow over. Right, get ready for the jump. (STEWART straps himself into his own chair.) HARDY: Preparing to enter hyperspace at twenty two, o-nine, seventy-two, two thousand, five hundred and forty BST. Right. STEWART: Right. (STEWART slams a lever home...) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: SPACE (and the spaceship accelerates through space, gaining velocity for the jump to hyperspace.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. CARGO SHIP. BRIDGE (HARDY studies his monitor screen intently.) HARDY: Hey look - a ship! (STEWART leans across to look at the screen too. A familiar looking blue box with a flashing light on the top spins into view through the dust clouds of space.) STEWART: That's no ship! HARDY: It's going to hit us! (STEWART pulls the lever on his console back.) STEWART: Pulling out of hyperspace now at twenty two, thirteen, seven-two, seven two, four-zero! (The whine of the trip through hyperspace dies down.) STEWART: Phew! That was a close thing. (HARDY looks at his monitor again. It now only shows the dust clouds.) HARDY: It vanished. It just vanished! STEWART: You'd better report it. HARDY: (Into microphone.) Mysterious object sighted during hyperspace transition. Object resembles large box with flashing light on top. Object disappeared before collision. Present whereabouts unknown. (HARDY sits back and sighs with relief.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. CARGO SHIP. HOLD (The TARDIS has already solidified in the cargo hold. The light flashes as the dematerialisation noise dies down. The door opens and JO and the DOCTOR step out. They both wear the same clothes as they wore on their previous adventure on Inter Minor. The chamber they are in couldn't be more different from the cargo hold on the "SS Bernice". It is metallic and futuristic. A raised railed platform skirts three edges of the room. The fourth has several viewing portals that look out onto space. Running along the platform are several machine-like containers marked: DANGER BULK FLOUR The hold is well-lit.) JO: Well, I'm never going in that thing again. DOCTOR: Oh, come on, Jo, be reasonable. JO: Only you could manage to have a traffic accident in space. DOCTOR: Well, we didn't hit it, did we? JO: Didn't we? Where's this then? (JO climbs a short flight of steps onto the platform and begins to explore.) DOCTOR: Well, by a rather brilliant last minute course correction, I've managed to materialise the TARDIS inside the spaceship. But to avoid hitting it, I've had to make a random jump back into normal space. JO: Terrific, but what do we do now? DOCTOR: Well, if I'm to get us back to Earth, I'd better find out where we are. I'll just go and check the instruments. (The DOCTOR goes back into the TARDIS, leaving the door ajar. JO explores further. She sees the containers.) JO: Mmm, they're carrying bulk flour. DOCTOR: (OOV: Inside the TARDIS.) What? JO: (Louder.) They're carrying a cargo of bulk flour. (JO steps down and walks across the room to one of the viewing portals. She looks through into space and sees a spaceship with pincer-type locking gear flying close by. As she looks, a strange, high pitched pulsating sound increases in volume, hurting her ears. As it does so, the spaceship flares and shimmers. It then returns to normal.) JO: Doctor? DOCTOR: (OOV: Inside the TARDIS.) Well, I think I know where we are. (The DOCTOR walks out of the TARDIS, preoccupied with the notebook he is scribbling in.) DOCTOR: And I've got a pretty good idea about when. JO: Come and take a look at this. DOCTOR: A look at what? (He looks out of the portal and she points.) JO: That. DOCTOR: Well, it's just a space ship, Jo. (He delves back into his notebook.) DOCTOR: You know, I reckon we must be somewhere in the twenty-sixth century. Well, interstellar travel's pretty routine by now. JO: A moment ago, it...it seemed to change shape. DOCTOR: Mmm? JO: It was when I heard that noise. (The DOCTOR looks at her.) JO: Didn't you hear it? DOCTOR: Well, I did hear something but very faintly. Come on, Jo. Let's go and find the crew. I want to find the exact date for my calculations. (He moves off but JO takes a last look outside the portal.) JO: Doctor! It's coming straight at us! DOCTOR: What?! [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. CARGO SHIP. BRIDGE (HARDY has seen the spaceship on his scanner screen.) HARDY: You won't believe this. STEWART: Now what? HARDY: Maybe it's a wreck. STEWART: Try to make contact. They may need help. HARDY: (Into radio.) This is earth cargo ship C982 in close proximity to you. Do you read me? Do you read me? (They switch on the receiver. There is only static.) STEWART: Try again. HARDY: (Into radio.) Do you read me? Are you in need of assistance? (Again they hear static.) HARDY: It's a weird looking crate. (Then they too hear the pulsating sound. HARDY and STEWART put their hands to their ears in pain and their expressions change to horror and disbelief as the spaceship shimmers and turns into a weapon-laden battle cruiser.) HARDY: Draconians! [SCENE_BREAK] 7: SPACE (The newly-transformed battle cruiser manoeuvres until it is face on to the cargo ship.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. CARGO SHIP. BRIDGE (The strange noise begins to fade.) STEWART: What? This close to Earth? HARDY: They're going to attack us! STEWART: Get the blasters. HARDY: You can't take on a battle cruiser! STEWART: Get the blasters! (HARDY gets out of his seatbelt and runs out of the bridge as STEWART makes an emergency call...) STEWART: (Into radio.) Emergency, emergency, red alert. This is Earth cargo ship C982 on co-ordinate eight-nine-seven-two, stroke, six, four, eight, three. We are under attack by a Draconian battle cruiser - galaxy class - equipped with neutronic missiles. Emergency, emergency! [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. CARGO SHIP. AIRLOCK AREA (A sliding door opens. HARDY enters an area immediately behind the cargo hold. He runs over to the keypad to the weapons armoury lock and starts to press the combination buttons.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. CARGO SHIP. HOLD (The DOCTOR and JO are again both looking through the viewing portal.) DOCTOR: Well, that's interesting. They must be going to do a link up. JO: What for? DOCTOR: Well, the two ships are joined together by a sort of tunnel, you see, with two airlocks. Well, then they equalise the pressure allowing the crew to move from one ship to the other without using space suits. Well, otherwise they'd have to get all kitted up and do a space walk. JO: Fascinating, but let's get back to the TARDIS. DOCTOR: Look Jo, don't worry. We'll be on our way soon. Now let's go and take look at the ship's calendar. (As JO sighs with frustration, the DOCTOR walks away from the hold area.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. CARGO SHIP. AIRLOCK AREA (HARDY, pulling two blasters out of the armoury, hears him approaching. He steps back and points the weapons as the DOCTOR leaves the cargo hold and walks round the corner. The pulsating noise starts up again and intensifies.) DOCTOR: (Smiles.) Ah, how do you do? I'm sorry about this intrusion. (The DOCTOR holds out his hand. HARDY is clearly scared.) HARDY: Who are you? (As the DOCTOR offers to shake hands, HARDY'S vision blurs. His view of the DOCTOR changes into that of a green reptilian creature. It has a peaked head with flat skin on the forehead but scaly dimples on the cheeks and underchin. It wears an ornate uniform, part scaly armour, part ornate robe.) DOCTOR: I said how do you do? (HARDY steps back in shock.) HARDY: Dragons! Drop that gun. DOCTOR: (Amiably.) Gun? I haven't got a gun. This is simply my hand. (JO appears from the cargo hold. As she runs to the DOCTOR, her image of HARDY shimmers into that of a towering beast with vicious, slavering jaws - a Drashig.) JO: (Screaming.) No! DOCTOR: Jo, what's the matter with you? JO: (Terrified.) It's a Drashig! DOCTOR: Nonsense, it's simply a man with a gun. Now pull yourself together. (But JO'S view stubbornly remains that of a terrifying creature such as she saw in the miniscope.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. CARGO SHIP. BRIDGE STEWART: (Into radio.) This is Earth cargo ship C982. Situation: Red Alert. Draconian battle cruiser is now about to grapple. (He checks the monitor.) STEWART: (Into radio.) They are going to lock on now. Repeat: Draconian battle cruiser about to lock on now. [SCENE_BREAK] 13: SPACE (The two ships approach each other...) STEWART: (OOV: into radio.) All anti-boarding procedures carried out. Awaiting instructions. Out. (...and then lock together.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. CARGO SHIP. BRIDGE (A clipped, precise but alien voice booms out of the communications link and the reptilian face of a DRACONIAN appears on the scanner screen. This one looks like the DOCTOR as he appeared to HARDY but has a small tufted beard.) DRACONIAN SPACE PILOT: (On monitor.) This is the commander of the Draconian battle cruiser. We are locked onto your vessel and are about to board. If you offer any resistance, you will be destroyed. (JO and the DOCTOR enter. HARDY is covering them with the blasters. DRACONIAN SPACE PILOT: (On monitor.) Open the hatch of your airlock. HARDY: Move! (STEWART gets out of his seat and looks in fear at the two new arrivals as HARDY quickly gives him a blaster. Both men cover the DOCTOR and JO.) HARDY: I found these two Dragons in the hold. STEWART: But that...that's impossible. They're...we're only just locking on. JO: Doctor, what's happening? What's going on? DOCTOR: I'm not sure, Jo. Something rather intriguing. DRACONIAN SPACE PILOT: (On monitor.) If you resist, we can destroy you with our neutronic weapons. (STEWART sits down again and twists to speak into his microphone as he tries to keep the DOCTOR and JO covered.) STEWART: (Into intercom.) If you destroy our ship, you won't get the cargo. DOCTOR: (To JO.) Oh, so that's what it's all about. DRACONIAN SPACE PILOT: (On monitor.) Open the hatch to your airlock or we shall enter your ship by force. STEWART: (Into intercom.) We refuse. HARDY: They can blow us to pieces! STEWART: I've sent a message to Earth asking for help. HARDY: Tell them about the prisoners. STEWART: (Into intercom.) We have captured two of your soldiers. They will not survive if you enter our ship. (To HARDY.) Lock them in the hold. (HARDY speaks somewhat brutally to the DOCTOR and JO.) HARDY: Move! Get moving! (HARDY shepherds the DOCTOR and JO out at gunpoint as STEWART turns back to his microphone.) STEWART: (Into radio.) Emergency, emergency. Red alert. This is cargo ship C982 on co-ordinate eight, nine, seven, two, stroke, six, four, eight, three... [SCENE_BREAK] 15: SPACE (STEWART'S message beams across space towards his home planet: the Earth is seemingly peaceful as it floats in space...) STEWART: (OOV: into radio.) Draconian battle cruiser has now locked on. They are about to force entry. Repeat: they are about to force entry. [SCENE_BREAK] 16: EXT. EARTH. PRESIDENTIAL PALACE (The PRESIDENTIAL PALACE is a low futuristic building with two twin tower blocks, a domed conference hall and a ramp leading down to the grassy area outside.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. EARTH. PRESIDENT'S OFFICE (Within the office of the PRESIDENT OF EARTH stands another of the DRACONIANS, a PRINCE, looking imperious and with his arms folded. His beard is slightly longer and black. He wears ornate rings on his scaly fingers and his green and brown silken robes fall to the ground. Armoured shoulder protection sticks upwards in an ornate, almost oriental style. The office itself is stark and modern. Predominantly white in colour, it has two glass topped tables at right angles to each other with the PRESIDENT'S desk backing onto a set of full-length windows. The PRESIDENT herself is a distinguished middle-aged woman with a faint Eastern European accent and attired in a knee-length orange dress with a wide collar. One of her aides, GENERAL WILLIAMS, looks out of one of the windows. He is also of middle age with cropped black hair and a grim, cold, face. His uniform is a simple green and brown tunic. The PRESIDENT strides angrily up to the DRACONIAN PRINCE.) PRESIDENT OF EARTH: But all these charges are false, your Highness. We are not attacking Draconian ships. We never have! (The PRINCE speaks in the typical clipped precise style of his kind...) DRACONIAN PRINCE: Our soldiers have seen the Earthmen attack us. Our cargoes have been stolen. We are Draconians - we do not lie. PRESIDENT OF EARTH: The honour of your race is well known, your Highness. That is why I cannot understand your actions. DRACONIAN PRINCE: Actions? PRESIDENT OF EARTH: You attack our ships, you steal their cargoes. You ignore our protests...and just meet them with these counter-charges. DRACONIAN PRINCE: Our charges are true but yours are false. We do not attack your ships. (The PRESIDENT picks up a note from her desk.) PRESIDENT OF EARTH: This is a transcript of a distress call from one of our ships. (Reads.) "From Earth's cargo ship C982 on co-ordinate eight, nine, seven, two, six, four, eight, three. We are under attack by a Draconian battle cruiser - galaxy class - equipped with neutronic missiles". (She looks at him accusingly.) DRACONIAN PRINCE: The treaty between our two empires established a frontier in space. We have never violated that frontier. You have invaded our part of the galaxy many times. (GENERAL WILLIAMS can stand no more and swings round.) GENERAL WILLIAMS: In pursuit of your ships when they have raided ours! We've been very patient - perhaps too patient. PRESIDENT OF EARTH: (Warning.) General Williams! (He falls silent.) PRESIDENT OF EARTH: I take it a rescue attempt has been mounted? GENERAL WILLIAMS: We've established an automatic procedure - because of the frequency of these attacks. PRESIDENT OF EARTH: Then I suggest you go and supervise the matter. GENERAL WILLIAMS: There's no need. PRESIDENT OF EARTH: (Insistent.) Please do as I say. GENERAL WILLIAMS: (Reluctantly.) As you wish, Madam President. (WILLIAMS leaves the office with a cold glance at the PRINCE. He leaves through a sliding door through which a guard can be seen on duty outside.) DRACONIAN PRINCE: Your General is insolent. We know the hatred he has always felt for our people. Long ago he caused war. Now he wishes to do so again. PRESIDENT OF EARTH: He's a soldier, your Highness, and he's angry. The people of Earth are angry. DRACONIAN PRINCE: So are the nobles of my father's court! PRESIDENT OF EARTH: (Pleading.) I must ask you to take my personal appeal to your father, the Emperor. He must put a stop to these attacks. If Draconia has some grievances against Earth, then this is not the way to deal with them. DRACONIAN PRINCE: Many of our noblemen felt it was a mistake to make a treaty with the Earth men. Perhaps they were right. You attack our ships and when we protest you trick us with lies and evasions. (He points a scaly arm at the PRESIDENT.) DRACONIAN PRINCE: I give you a final warning. The path you are treading leads only to war. And in that war, Draconia will destroy you! [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. CARGO SHIP. STARBOARD CUBICLE (The door opens to a small metallic room next to the hold. HARDY gestures to JO and the DOCTOR with the blaster.) HARDY: In there. (JO enters. The DOCTOR starts to protest.) DOCTOR: Look... HARDY: In there. (HARDY shuts and locks the door as JO sits on a shelf at the side.) JO: Doctor, what's happening on this ship? Are they both mad or am I? First I see a Drashig and... (The DOCTOR pulls his sonic screwdriver from his pocket.) JO: No, you can put that away - bolts. (She points at the door.) JO: And why do they keep calling us Dragons? (The DOCTOR sits next to her.) DOCTOR: Well, that's the way they see us, I suppose. JO: Yes, but why Dragons? DOCTOR: It's got to be some non-human life form. Something that they're frightened of. (Thinks.) Dragons...Dragons... (He remembers and snaps his fingers.) DOCTOR: Yes, of course - Draconians. JO: What? DOCTOR: Well, if this is the period that I think it is, there are two great empires spreading their way through the galaxy of the Milky Way. JO: Empires? You mean like Solos? DOCTOR: Those were the declining years of Earth's planetary empire - this is just the beginning. Now, Earth and Draconia are both been expanding, you see? Colonising one planet after another, and they're sitting on a powder keg. JO: Yes, but why do they mistake us for these "Dragons"? DOCTOR: No, Draconians. No, "Dragons" is rather an unflattering nickname. Well, you remember that sound you heard? JO: Yes. DOCTOR: And the man that you saw with the gun? JO: Oh, no. No, no, what I saw was a Drashig! DOCTOR: No, you didn't, Jo. That sound made you see what you fear most. JO: How? DOCTOR: Well, it shouldn't be too difficult. Ultrasonics geared to stimulate the fear centres of the brain, something like that. JO: How long does it last? How long before they see that we're just people? DOCTOR: Well, difficult to say. It seems to act like some post-hypnotic command. It will fade eventually, of course. (JO tuts, sighs and starts to pace the room.) JO: Why should anybody go to all this trouble to make people see things? DOCTOR: Why indeed? JO: Well, we've got to get out of here somehow. (JO peers through the grille of the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. CARGO SHIP. HOLD JO: (Excited.) Doctor! DOCTOR: Mmm? JO: I can see the TARDIS! [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. CARGO SHIP. STARBOARD CUBICLE DOCTOR: (Calmly.) Well, that's one consolation, isn't it? [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. CARGO SHIP. BRIDGE STEWART: Try Earth Control again. HARDY: (Into radio.) Emergency, emergency, red alert. This is Earth cargo ship C982 on co-ordinate eight, nine, seven, two, stroke, six, four, eight, three... (They hear a drumming noise coming from the radio.) HARDY: Argh! They're jamming us. STEWART: Well, maybe the first message got through. They'll send help. HARDY: Will they? They're probably still passing memos to each other. STEWART: (Insistent.) They'll send help. HARDY: (Panicked.) I know what they'll do. They'll send an urgent protest to the Draconian Embassy. By that time, we'll be finished. Government should have blown the Dragons out of space years ago. STEWART: And have another war? HARDY: What do you think this is? STEWART: Look, the door of our space lock is ninety-nine percent durilium. They're not going to get through that in a hurry. DRACONIAN SPACE PILOT: (On monitor.) Earth men, this is your last warning. Surrender your cargo and you will be unharmed. Resist and you will be destroyed. STEWART: Right. (He grabs his blaster.) STEWART: Looks like battle stations. We'd better get down to the airlock. HARDY: You're not going to fight them? STEWART: If I have to. Do you have a better idea? HARDY: It's only a load of flour! STEWART: It's my cargo. And if the Draconians want it, it's going to cost them more than just a few threats. (He strides out of the bridge. A very nervous HARDY grabs his own blaster and follows.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. EARTH. PRESIDENT'S OFFICE (The latest newscast is playing on a giant screen which occupies most of the far wall of the office. The PRESIDENT is handing various papers to her pink-dressed SECRETARY.) NEWSCASTER: (On monitor.) And the bureau of population control announced today that the recently reclaimed Arctic areas are now ready for habitation. As a special inducement for those willing to live in New Glasgow and New Montreal - the first two totally enclosed cities to be opened - the family allowance will be increased to two children per couple. (The SECRETARY leaves.) NEWSCASTER: (On monitor.) News is just coming through of another recorded attack on an Earth cargo ship in space. (The PRESIDENT looks up and presses a buzzer on her desk.) NEWSCASTER: (On monitor.) This is the third attack on an Earth cargo ship this month. (She gets up and starts to angrily pace the office.) NEWSCASTER: (On monitor.) In a statement issued by the Draconian Embassy on Earth, the Draconian government denies all knowledge of this or any other attacks. (GENERAL WILLIAMS enters and immediately takes an interest in the newscast after a look of fury from the PRESIDENT.) NEWSCASTER: (On monitor.) As yet there has been no official comment, but Congressman Brook, Leader of the Opposition has said "The people of Earth will no longer tolerate these unprovoked attacks. It is time for the World government to take a stand and issue a final ultimatum to the Draconian Emperor". (She switches off the newscast.) PRESIDENT OF EARTH: (Angrily.) I thought I ordered a complete security blackout? GENERAL WILLIAMS: The news services have their own monitors. They probably picked up the distress messages. PRESIDENT OF EARTH: And? GENERAL WILLIAMS: The rescue ships should rendezvous in seventeen and a half minutes from now. It'll be too late, of course. All they'll find will be dead men and a gutted ship. [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. CARGO SHIP. AIRLOCK (Two familiar looking, hairy, ape-like creatures wearing leather tunics hold a lance to the airlock door. They are beginning to make progress in their attempt to cut through.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. CARGO SHIP. AIRLOCK AREA (HARDY and STEWART watch the burning line make its way down the door from their side of the airlock.) HARDY: They'll be through that door any minute! [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. CARGO SHIP. STARBOARD CUBICLE (The DOCTOR is making minute adjustments to his sonic screwdriver.) JO: Doctor, what are you doing? DOCTOR: I'm reversing the polarity of me ultrasonic screwdriver's power source, thereby converting it into an extremely powerful electro magnet. JO: Oh. What good will that do? DOCTOR: You wait and see, Jo. (The DOCTOR gets up and points the screwdriver out through the grille and bars in the door, trying to magnetically draw back the bolts.) JO: Is it working? DOCTOR: Yes, I think so. [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. CARGO SHIP. AIRLOCK AREA (HARDY and STEWART nervously level their weapons at the airlock door.) HARDY: I'm going to get the prisoners. STEWART: What for? HARDY: We're using them as hostages - remember? (He runs off.) STEWART: You'd better be quick about it. We haven't got much time. [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. CARGO SHIP. STARBOARD CUBICLE (The DOCTOR is still trying to work the bolts with the sonic screwdriver.) JO: How is it going? DOCTOR: Nearly there. [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. CARGO SHIP. HOLD (The bars creak as the DOCTOR works on them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. CARGO SHIP. STARBOARD CUBICLE DOCTOR: There you are - that's it. (The DOCTOR opens the door to find HARDY pointing a gun at him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. CARGO SHIP. HOLD DOCTOR: Oh, how very embarrassing. Good afternoon. (The DOCTOR tries to shut the door...) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. CARGO SHIP. STARBOARD CUBICLE (...but HARDY pushes it back open.) HARDY: Out. JO: That's just where we were going. HARDY: We're going to meet your friends. (HARDY shepherds them out pulling the door to behind them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. CARGO SHIP. AIRLOCK AREA HARDY: Come on! Get on there! (The DOCTOR and JO enter at gunpoint.) STEWART: Come on, they're almost through. (STEWART grabs the DOCTOR while HARDY takes JO.) HARDY: Get in front! (The DOCTOR and JO are held in front of them as shields.) HARDY: If your friends start shooting, they'll get you first. JO: But they're not our friends! STEWART: You are part of their boarding party. DOCTOR: Well, they haven't boarded yet. They're still breaking through that door. Now, try and be logical, man. HARDY: They're coming through! (Now cut through, the airlock door falls to the ground and the invaders burst in. JO recognises them immediately...) JO: (Screaming.) Ogrons! (The DOCTOR grabs STEWART by the arm and barrels him towards the invaders.) DOCTOR: Back to the TARDIS, Jo, back! (As they run off, an Ogron fires and HARDY falls stunned. The Ogron fires again.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. CARGO SHIP. HOLD (The DOCTOR is hit and falls unconscious.) JO: Doctor! Doctor! (JO runs back to help the fallen DOCTOR. She looks up as a grinning Ogron bears down on her.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. EARTH. PRESIDENT'S OFFICE (GENERAL WILLIAMS and the PRESIDENT are watching another newscast. The picture shows an image of the cargo ship.) NEWSCASTER: (OOV.) Distress signals have been received from another Earth cargo ship, reporting an attack by a Draconian battle cruiser. Rescue ships are now on their way. (WILLIAMS switches off the newscast.) GENERAL WILLIAMS: There have been anti-Draconian riots in Tokyo and Belgrade, and the Draconian Consulate in Helsinki has been burnt to the ground. In Los Angeles, demonstrators burnt an effigy of you. (The intercom signals. The PRESIDENT answers. It is her SECRETARY.) PRESIDENT OF EARTH: Yes? SECRETARY: (OOV: Over intercom.) They have just found the cargo ship, Madam President, but it is not responding to signals. GENERAL WILLIAMS: (Into intercom.) And the Draconians? SECRETARY: (OOV: Over intercom.) There is no sign of any Draconian ships, sir. They are about to board...now. PRESIDENT OF EARTH: (Into intercom.) Thank you. (She turns off the intercom.) PRESIDENT OF EARTH: We shall soon know what really happened. GENERAL WILLIAMS: If there's anyone alive to tell them. [SCENE_BREAK] 35: SPACE (The cargo ship floats as if abandoned...) [SCENE_BREAK] 36: INT. CARGO SHIP. HOLD (Left where he was shot in the hold, the DOCTOR begins to stir. JO'S voice seems to call from far off.) JO: Doctor? DOCTOR: (Groggily.) Jo? JO: Doctor! DOCTOR: Jo? (From his position on the floor, he sees that JO has been put back into their former room and the door has been bolted shut again. There is no sign of the Ogrons.) JO: Doctor, I'm over here! (The DOCTOR staggers up and walks over to the room.) DOCTOR: (Still groggy.) Hello, Jo, what are you doing in there? JO: Oh, Doctor, thank goodness you're all right! I thought they'd killed you. (He unbolts the door and goes inside.) [SCENE_BREAK] 37: INT. CARGO SHIP. STARBOARD CUBICLE JO: Come on, come and sit down. (She helps him to sit on the low bench. He rubs his head.) DOCTOR: Must have been some kind of neuronic stun gun. I wonder why they didn't kill me? What exactly happened, Jo? JO: Well, they took the cargo, threw me in here and...Doctor? DOCTOR: Mmm? JO: They also took the TARDIS. DOCTOR: (Quietly.) Oh... JO: Oh, we're stranded. What are we going to do? DOCTOR: Well, try and get the TARDIS back, of course. Why should the Ogrons attack this ship? JO: To steal the cargo. DOCTOR: No...no, there's more to it than that. That's...that sound that you heard, it...it's all too sophisticated for the Ogrons. JO: Well, they're gone now. DOCTOR: Yeah, the question is, where? JO: Hey, Doctor, last time we met the Ogrons they were working for the Daleks, right? Well, you don't suppose that that... DOCTOR: No, no, not necessarily. No, the Ogrons are mercenaries. Other life forms use them to do their dirty work. Come on, Jo, let's go and find the crew. (They leave the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 38: INT. CARGO SHIP. AIRLOCK AREA (HARDY and STEWART lay unconscious on the floor. The hole in the airlock door seems to have been welded shut. The DOCTOR and JO enter.) DOCTOR: Jo, take a look at that one. (JO goes to the aid of HARDY while the DOCTOR attends to STEWART.) DOCTOR: Well, they're both stunned, just as I was. (He notices the welded door and stands up to look at it.) DOCTOR: That's funny - the Ogrons have repaired the airlock door. JO: (Sarcastically.) Well, that was nice of them. DOCTOR: Well, if they hadn't, we'd have both been done for. All the air would have escaped when the ships unlocked. JO: (Puzzled.) Why should they go to all that trouble? DOCTOR: Well, maybe they've got kind hearts. There's good in everyone you know, Jo. (JO sighs in impatience at the DOCTOR'S optimism. Suddenly, a voice carries through the ship, coming from the speakers.) GARDINER: (OOV: Over radio.) Earth Battle Cruiser to Earth cargo ship number C982. We are now approaching you. Do you read me? DOCTOR: Look after them, will you? JO: Right. (The DOCTOR runs off towards the bridge as JO attends the STEWART.) GARDINER: (OOV: Over radio.) Do you read me? [SCENE_BREAK] 39: SPACE (A large battle cruiser circles the floating cargo ship, turning in order that it can approach its airlock.) GARDINER: (OOV: Over radio.) Earth Battle Cruiser to Earth cargo ship number C982. We are now approaching you. Do you read me? Over. [SCENE_BREAK] 40: INT. CARGO SHIP. BRIDGE (GARDINER appears on the monitor on the deserted bridge. He is a young man in military uniform with a headgear that covers the ears but leaves the top of his head bare.) GARDINER: (On monitor.) Earth Battle Cruiser to Earth cargo ship number C982. We are now approaching you. Do you read me? Do you read me? (The DOCTOR runs on the bridge and sits in STEWART'S chair.) GARDINER: (On monitor.) Prepare to be boarded. Repeat: prepare to be boarded. Do you read me? Over. DOCTOR: (Into microphone.) Hello battle cruiser, battle cruiser. This is the cargo ship. Over. GARDINER: (On monitor.) What is your situation? DOCTOR: (Into microphone.) The ship has been attacked and the cargo stolen. Over. GARDINER: (On monitor.) Do you have casualties? DOCTOR: (Into microphone.) Yes, the crew are stunned, but otherwise they're unharmed. Over. GARDINER: (On monitor.) We shall lock on...five seconds from now. (The DOCTOR checks his watch, switches off the microphone and leaves the bridge.) [SCENE_BREAK] 41: SPACE (The nozzle of the battlecruiser docks with the cargo ship.) [SCENE_BREAK] 42: INT. CARGO SHIP. AIRLOCK AREA (The echoing sound of the docking reaches the airlock area. JO is helping STEWART drink from a small flask as the DOCTOR returns.) DOCTOR: It's alright, Jo. We're being rescued. STEWART: What happened? DOCTOR: Well, don't worry, old chap. You'll be all right now. I think... (STEWART hears airlock lock opening as the cabin pressurises.) STEWART: Draconians! They're boarding! (GARDINER enters through the airlock, accompanied KEMP by some heavily armed soldiers.) GARDINER: Stewart? (He points his gun at the DOCTOR.) GARDINER: Who are you? DOCTOR: Passengers. GARDINER: I see. Having a fancy dress party? (To STEWART.) What happened? STEWART: Dragons - attacked us. GARDINER: Did they get the cargo? STEWART: I don't know. JO: Yes, they took everything. DOCTOR: Including some rather valuable property of mine. GARDINER: Well, tough luck. DOCTOR: Oh, thank you very much. (HARDY gets to his feet.) HARDY: (Groggily.) Dragons...they attacked us. (GARDINER goes to help him.) GARDINER: Yes, we know. (To the DOCTOR.) You say you're passengers. Isn't that a little unusual on a cargo ship? DOCTOR: Well, we're here, aren't we? GARDINER: (To STEWART.) Where did you pick these two up? STEWART: I don't know. I can't seem to remember... GARDINER: (Harshly.) Pull yourself together! How did they get on board? (STEWART thinks desperately for an answer.) STEWART: Stowaways...that's it - they were stowaways. They were sending messages! HARDY: That's right - they were helping the Dragons! They're traitors! (The soldiers all raise their blasters to cover the DOCTOR and JO.)	Plan: A: the masterminds; Q: What is the Master and the Ogrons behind the Galactic war? A: the Earth Federation; Q: Who is the Reptillian Draconian Empire fighting? A: the Draconians; Q: Who did The Master frame The Doctor and Jo as working for? A: the Doctor's greatest enemies; Q: Who are the Daleks? Summary: The Doctor and Jo discover The Master and the Ogrons are the masterminds behind the Galactic war between the Earth Federation and the Reptillian Draconian Empire and the Master has framed The Doctor and Jo as spies working for the Draconians. Only to discover The Master is also working with the Doctor's greatest enemies, The Daleks, who are also behind the galactic war.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. 5:05am. Piper is sitting at a table drawing lines on a map. Leo walks in. Piper pricks her finger on a thumbtack.] Piper: Ow! Leo: What happened? Are you okay? Piper: Yeah. Nothing a little sleep can't fix. Leo: Here, let me heal that. Piper: No. Leo: Come on. Piper: I said no. Leo: Piper, this is ridiculous. We have to talk about this. Piper: Actually, what we need to do is find where the next demon attack is gonna be. And I think I just did. A pentagram, naturally. Leo: What do you want from me? What do I have to do to prove that I've changed, that I'm okay? (Piper walks towards the door.) Piper: Did Phoebe and Paige finish making the dye? Leo: You didn't answer my question. Piper: Oh, I have to answer your questions, but you don't have to answer mine? Leo: What question? Piper: The same question I've been asking you for several days now. What aren't you telling me? Leo: I don't know what you're talking about. Piper: Oh, right. Excuse me. (Piper leaves the attic. Leo follows. They walk down the stairs.) I can't get into this right now with you, okay? I've got an invisible demon killing innocents and for all we know they could be working with the Avatars. Leo: They're not working with the Avatars. Piper: Oh, yeah? How do you know? Leo: I don't. I mean, I just, I don't think they're the threat everyone thinks they are. (Phoebe and Paige walk out of the kitchen.) Phoebe: Why? Leo: Because if they're so powerful, wouldn't they have attacked by now? Piper: Oh, sending a demon to possess you doesn't count? Leo: Still, I think that was their way of communicating with me, with us. Paige: Why didn't they just try calling you, Leo? Phoebe: Are you hiding something? Leo: No. Piper: Yes. (to Phoebe and Paige) Are you sure those are gonna work? Paige: Yeah. As sure as I can be at 5am. Leo: Before you go... Phoebe: Do you know where the demon's gonna attack? Piper: They're making a pentagram and there's only one point left, so we need to get there before sunrise. Leo: Piper, you can't walk out on this. Piper: You're right. We should orb. 16th and Mission. Paige: Got it. (Paige orbs Piper and Phoebe out.) Leo: Damn it. I said no! (Suddenly, the day is rewound and Leo ends up back in the attic with Piper at 5:05am.) Piper: Ow! Leo: What happened? Piper: Nothing a little sleep won't fix. It's fine. Leo: Didn't you just say that? Piper: What? Leo: Nothing. Piper: I think I found where the next demon attack is gonna be. A pentagram, naturally. (Piper heads for the door.) Did Phoebe and Paige finish that dye yet? Leo: I don't know. Piper: Excuse me. (Piper walks out of the attic. Alpha and Beta appear.) Leo: Why did you do this? Beta: We didn't. You did. Alpha: You need to be more careful about your new powers, Leo. Reversing time can be very dangerous. Opening Credits [Scene: Manor. Attic. Continued from before.] Alpha: Our powers are not meant to be used for personal reasons, Leo. You know that. Leo: I know. I didn't mean to, it just happened. Alpha: Yes, because you wanted it to happen. Beta: You must be more careful in the future, learn to control your emotions. Alpha: Control is the first discipline of an Avatar. Otherwise, our powers can become dangerous to others as well as to ourselves. Leo: What do you mean? Beta: Reversing time the way you did requires great power. It drains the Collective and it puts us at risk. Alpha: And we must remain at full strength if we are to defeat the forces of evil, if we are to implement the change. Leo: I get that but Piper's my wife. She knows something's up. I can't keep lying to her. Alpha: We understand your position, Leo. Beta: But to tell her outright might cause her to overreact and mistakenly view us as a threat. Alpha: As might her sisters as well. Beta: They must come to the truth in their own time and in their own way, just as you did. Leo: What if they don't? What if Piper never sees the future you promised? Alpha: You must help her to see it, Leo. You must gently guide her to it. Beta: This is the burden that you took upon becoming an Avatar. Leo: I'm not just an Avatar. I'm a husband and I'm a father, and I joined you to get that back. Alpha: And you will get it back, Leo. You will once we have ended this perpetual battle between good and evil, once we have brought forth a better way. (The Avatars disappear.) [Scene: 16th and Mission. Alley. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are there. Phoebe and Paige are sitting in an old car with no roof or doors.] Phoebe: Okay, it's almost dawn and nothing's happening. Can we go home and go to sleep now? Piper: Shh. Just stay focused. Paige: Right, focused. Phoebe: Maybe you drew the pentagram wrong. Piper: I know how to draw a pentagram, thank you. Phoebe: Yeah, but did you use a felt marker? 'Cause maybe the thickness of the tip led us astray a couple of blocks, huh? Piper: We are not going home. What's the matter with you guys? Do you wanna save an innocent or not? Paige: Of course we do. It's just, uh... Piper: What? It's just what? Now you're not telling me something? Paige: Leo's what. Piper: What? Phoebe: We just think that you may have been so eager to avoid Leo that you miscalculated the demon attack. Paige: What she said. Piper: All right, fine. I admit it. I may be avoiding Leo but that does not mean I am wrong about this. Paige: Why? Why are you so upset with him? He's been an Angel lately. Piper: Yeah, well, that's the problem. He's been too perfect, even for him, and I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Phoebe: Why don't you just talk to him about it? Piper: I have, about a dozen times and he just thinks I'm crazy or something, which is why I am channelling my frustration into something useful. Paige: I just want this demon to attack soon, so I can make my breakfast date with Kyle. Phoebe: Yeah, see, breakfast is not a date. Dinner's a date, lunch is definitely maybe a date. Breakfast? Always just breakfast. Paige: As long as he doesn't talk about the Avatars, it can be breakfast, lunch, or dinner, and I will consider it a date. (Phoebe's phone rings.) Who is calling you at this hour? (Phoebe looks at the caller ID and ignores the call.) Phoebe: No one. Piper: Avoiding someone? (A car pulls up near by and a man gets out.) Paige: Is that our innocent? Piper: We're about to find out. Get the dye. They have to become visible to attack. Let's go. (The man opens the door to a warehouse and Malvoc the demon is standing inside.) Man: Who the hell are you? Malvoc: It won't matter. (Malvoc punches the man in the chest and the man flies backwards. Piper, Phoebe and Paige arrive.) Piper: Hey! (Piper tries to blow him up and sparks fly off his arm. He yells in pain.) Malvoc: Kill them. (He disappears.) Phoebe: Throw the dye. (Phoebe and Paige throw vials of dye into the air. Piper blows up the vials and it falls onto three demons making them visible. One of the demons throws an energy ball towards them.) Paige: Energy ball! (The energy ball is deflected back at the demon, vanquishing him.) Phoebe: Heads up, guys. (Another one of the demons throws an energy ball at them. Phoebe grabs a piece of pipe and hits the energy ball back to the demon, vanquishing him. Piper tries to blow up the third demon and he disappears.) Piper: Well, that didn't go too well. They were a lot more powerful than I thought. Paige: He's still alive. Piper: Okay, let's get him to magic school, and we'll find out who they are. Phoebe: And make more potions. (Paige orbs out with the man.) [Scene: Underworld. Cave. Demons are there.] Malvoc: The innocent has been marked and territory staked. Soon, every mortal within the pentagram will be ours alone to prey upon. Vassen: But the innocent lives. Our rivals... Malvoc: Can no more easily kill than we can, now that the Charmed Ones are protecting him. Vassen: Then how is the territory staked? As long as he lives, the Sokols could still try to claim it for themselves. Malvoc: And we want them to try or, at least, make it look like they did. Witches don't know who we are, right? Vassen: Right. Malvoc: So we'll put them on our rivals' trail by making them think the Sokols attacked them. [Scene: Cafe. Paige and Brody are there having breakfast.] Paige: So, this place is great. Brody: Yeah? You sure? I mean, you like the place? Paige: Well, I've never had breakfast here but I'm sure it's terrific. Yeah. Brody: I guess I should've asked you out to dinner, huh? Paige: It's fine. I'm up this early anyway. Brody: Well, you know, I figured since we got the first kiss out of the way and everything. Paige: Out of the way? Brody: Sorry. I didn't mean that. I did not mean that. I-I just, you know, I'm rusty. Paige: All Avatars all the time? Brody: Yeah, something like that. It's just that I've been chasing them for so long, you know? It hasn't left much time for a social life. Paige: Well, um, maybe it's time you start changing that, don't you think? Brody: Yes, I think. It's just that they're so close, Paige. I mean, I know it, you know? I can feel it. Paige: Ah! You promised. Brody: You're right. You're right. That's it. No more Avatar talk, I swear. (His phone rings and he stops it.) Hm? Paige: Good. That's a good start. (He smiles.) What? Brody: It's, uh, it's vibrating. It just tickles a little, that's all. (He turns the phone off.) It's off. I promise. No more distractions. (Another phone rings.) That's my emergency line. I gotta take this. Sorry. (He answers it.) What? All right, as soon as you get those numbers, you call me, all right? (He hangs up.) Intel just detected another unusual power spike in the area. Paige, this could mean some serious Avatar activity. Don't you know what this means? Paige: Yeah, yeah, I do. It means that you eat alone. I'm sorry. (Paige leaves.) Brody: Paige, come on. I... (to himself) Idiot! [Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper is there making a potion. Phoebe walks in.] Phoebe: You know, the good thing about getting up so early is how much you could get done. I mean, already today, I've made demon dye. I've saved an innocent. I e-mailed in my column, plucked my eyebrows. If it wasn't for sleep deprivation, I would be okay. Piper: What about the demons? Phoebe: Yeah, I couldn't find anything in the book to help identify them. But I did get to read up on the family history. Did you know that Beatrice Warren only had one leg? What is this? You making spaghetti sauce? Piper: No. That's, uh, demon blood. I got it from the salvage yard. I was gonna use it to scry for them after I make the vanquishing potion. Phoebe: Wow, jacklebeet. So, exactly which state are you trying to blow off the map? Piper: I don't wanna take any chances. Phoebe: We need two kitchens. Piper: Do you know where the beetle toe is? Phoebe: I think it's up in the attic. Boy, when you're avoiding something, you really do a number, don't you? Piper: I seem to remember someone doing some avoiding a little while back. Phoebe: Yeah, if you're talking about Leslie, you're absolutely right. But my big sister gave me some advice that I'm gonna give back to you. Stop dodging. Just talk to Leo. Piper: On the subject of dodging, who called this morning? Yeah. See, your "I'm covering something" look hasn't worked since the sixth grade, so spill. Phoebe: Okay, but you can't tell Paige, because I don't want her to get all paranoid. Piper: Why would she get all paranoid? Phoebe: Darryl actually thinks Brody had something to do with Sheridan's disappearance. Yeah. That's why I'm keeping it low-key. Darryl's on his way over. We're gonna talk about it while Paige is on her date. Piper: Oh, he's talking to us again? Phoebe: Kinda. Baby steps. (Leo orbs in.) Leo: Hi. Piper: Hi. I'll be in the attic. (Piper leaves the kitchen.) Phoebe: Well, go talk to her, would you? Hurry up. Go. Leo: Right. (Leo follows Piper. The doorbell rings.) [Cut to the foyer. Phoebe opens the door.] Darryl: Hey. Phoebe: Hey. Darryl: Is this a good time to talk? Phoebe: Uh, actually, yeah. Paige is out on a date. What did you find out? Darryl: Nothing. Phoebe: Nothing. Okay, well, nothing is good, right? Darryl: No. I mean, I can't find anything. It's like Sheridan's disappeared off the face of the earth. Phoebe: What are you saying? Darryl: I think that maybe Brody did something to make Sheridan disappear. Something bad, maybe. Phoebe: No. I don't believe that. Darryl: That's because you don't want to believe that. Brody may have saved your butts, I get that, but if he did something to hurt Sheridan, wrong is wrong. Phoebe: Okay. Well, maybe I can get a premonition and see where she is. Darryl: No. No magic. I told you. I've done some soul-searching. I wanna help again, but I don't wanna go there anymore. Phoebe: Darryl, you gotta get over this. I mean, really, one bad experience with magic can't outweigh six years of good, can it? (Paige walks in.) Paige: Hey. Darryl: Hey. Hey, Paige. Paige: Hey, Darryl. Phoebe: Uh, I thought you were on your date. Paige: Yeah. So did I. Darryl: Look, um, tell Piper I said hello, okay? Take care. Phoebe: Take care. (Darryl leaves.) Paige: We're friends again? Phoebe: Yeah. Weird. Bygones. [Cut to the attic. Piper is making the potion.] Piper: Leo, please, this is not the time or place. Leo: I just want my family back, Piper. I just want you back. Piper: I don't wanna talk about this right now. Leo: Why not? Piper: Because this is a little dicey here, okay? Leo: I know that and that's why we need to talk. Piper: No, not that, this. If I make one mistake, I can blow up the entire house, okay? So, this is a bad time. Leo: I just wish you'd trust me. Piper: Yeah, well, maybe you should try telling me the truth. Leo: This is so frustrating. (Piper suddenly freezes. The Avatars appear.) Alpha: This can't keep happening, Leo. We've had this conversation. Leo: I can't help it. I can't keep doing this. Beta: You must keep up pretences. There's no other way. Leo: There is another way. I could tell her the truth. Beta: Leo, you don't understand. Leo: I know Piper. She doesn't wanna live like this any more than I do. She hates hunting demons all the time. She wants nothing but the best for herself, for her family, for all of us. She can handle the truth. I know she can. Alpha: But if she can't, if she's not open to our way, it would risk everything we hope to achieve, everything we covet. Beta: And cause her to lose perspective in the process, ignore what shouldn't be ignored. Alpha: Which would put her at risk as well. There's too much at stake, Leo. Leo: She can handle it. Alpha: He needs to see for himself. Beta: But what of the risk? Alpha: It's no greater than that of him, tapping into the collective without intending to. Beta: Very well, but if anything goes wrong, everything may be lost. Our powers are not inexhaustible. (The Avatars disappear. Piper unfreezes.) Piper: What is the matter? Leo: I, uh, I need to tell you something. Piper: I'm listening. Leo: Well, the reason I know the demons aren't working with the Avatars is because I'm an Avatar. Piper: What? Oh, my god. (Piper drops the bottle of beetletoe into the pot and it explodes, sending her flying across the room.) Leo: Piper? (He rushes over to her.) Piper: No! You stay away from me. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper is picking up broken glass off the floor. Phoebe and Paige walk in.] Phoebe: What happened? Leo: Let me help. Piper: Don't. Leo: Piper, please. Paige: Can someone please just tell us what happened? Piper: The potion blew up, and, uh, Leo's an Avatar. Phoebe: What? Paige: What? Piper: Oh, you know, the gathering storm, looming threat, that would be Leo. Leo: We're not a threat. We're trying to save the world from itself. Phoebe: Wait, did he just say we? I think he just said we. Leo: You know, you wanted the truth, and I told you. They said you had to come to it on your own. I said you could handle it. Piper: Handle what, that you're what everybody is afraid of, even the Elders? Leo: They're afraid because they don't understand. They can't understand. The Avatars are beyond Good and Evil. They're everything we've been searching for, a life without demons. Paige: Okay, he's cracked. Phoebe: Absolutely. Leo: No. I have never been more clear about anything in my life. Piper, I beg you not to be closed to this. It's everything we've been searching for, everything we wanted, I promise. Piper: I think you need to take the boys to Magic School. Leo: But... Piper: Please. I need time to think about all of this. Paige: Are you sure you can trust him? Piper: I can trust my husband with our children. Now, please, go. (Leo leaves.) Phoebe: Do you think he's telling the truth? Piper: It would be a really stupid lie if he wasn't, don't you think? Sorry. Phoebe: It's okay. Paige: What are you gonna do? Piper: I don't know, but we have a demon to vanquish first and an innocent to protect, so... Paige: Yeah, but... Piper: Look, just remake the potion for me, and I'll go get cleaned up, and be careful of the beetletoe. (Piper leaves.) Paige: Okay, we have bigger things to worry about than potions. Phoebe: I agree. We have to save Leo. Paige: Yeah, we're gonna have to ask for Kyle's help. [Scene: Underworld. Cave. Malvoc and Vassen stab two Sokol Demons in the back. They remove their arm bands and are vanquished.] Vassen: Now what? Malvoc: Put them on. (They put on the arm bands.) Vassen: Why? Malvoc: Because we're going to attack the Charmed Ones next. Vassen: Malvoc, that's suicide. Malvoc: Only if we die, but I only plan to fight long enough for them to identify us as Sokols. Then our enemies becomes their enemies. Vassen: Fine. They'll vanquish them, but others will still come to challenge us for the territory. Malvoc: They won't be able to after we kill the innocent. Those ancient rules are etched in brimstone. And after they vanquish our rivals, they'll think the threat to the innocent has passed and then return him. We'll need more of these. [Scene: Magic School. Leo is there. A female Elder orbs in.] Female Elder: Something's happened, Leo. Leo: Look, I don't have time for this. I have to get back to Pi... Female Elder: We've detected a power surge, a time shift. That could only mean one thing. The Avatars are making their move. Leo: How do you know it's them? Female Elder: Because no demon has this kind of power, not since the Source. Leo: So, what do you want from me? Female Elder: We want you to alert The Charmed Ones. We expect that the Avatars will be coming after them first. What is it? Leo: Nothing. I just don't know how much we know about them, that's all. Female Elder: We know they're a threat. Leo: Why, because they have power? Female Elder: Yes. The kind of power that in the wrong hands could be a danger to us all. Leo: Okay, so, are we a threat? Female Elder: I'm sorry. Leo: Elders. I mean, we have a great power, but we're only a threat to demons. Female Elder: And your point is? Leo: My point is is that we don't know enough about them to fear them. How do we know they're not a benevolent power I mean, who are we to judge them before even meeting them? Female Elder: If they were benevolent, they wouldn't lurk, insidiously waiting to make their move. They would show themselves. This is no time to lose your faith in all that we're about, Leo, despite all that's happened in the past. We need you on our side. (She orbs out.) [Scene: Manor. Piper walks into the dining room. Leo orbs in.] Piper: Have you seen Phoebe and Paige? Leo: Aren't they upstairs making potions? Piper: No. How are the boys? Leo: They're fine. Miss Donovan's with them. Piper: And the innocent? Leo: Sleeping, still under the effects of the potions. How are you? Piper: How am I? Leo: I mean, with all this. Piper: I don't know. I have questions. Leo: Well, you can ask me. I can answer them now. Piper: What are they exactly? Or should I say, what are you exactly? Leo: I'm the same man you married, Piper, someone who wants nothing but the best for his family. Piper: And the Avatars are gonna give us that how? Leo: By using their powers, our powers, to change what has always been, to remake what is. Piper: That sounds like a load of crap. Leo: I know it does, but it's not. Piper: You know, for all we know, they're exactly like everything else we've been fighting. Leo: They wanna end everything we've been fighting against, put an end to the struggle once and for all. Piper: That's impossible. Leo: I know. I used to think it was, too, but now I know it's not. They wanna make the world better for everybody. Piper: And those floating heads that tormented you, they made your life better? Leo: That was just a way to get my attention, make me open to a new idea. Piper: Leo... Leo: Piper, think about it. A demon-free world? It's everything we always dreamed about. Don't you think we should at least consider that after everything we've been through? (Three demons suddenly appear. One throws an energy ball and Leo dodges it. The second throws another one and Leo dives onto Piper, pushing her out of the way. Leo gets up and throws electricity at one, vanquishing him. The second demon throws another energy ball and it hits Piper on the arm. Leo throws electricity at them and vanquishes the third demon. The arm band slides along the floor towards the second demon. He looks up to see Vassen standing behind a wall out of sight.) Piper: It's just a graze. (Leo walks up to the demon and shoots electricity at him, vanquishing him. Vassen disappears. Leo walks back over to Piper and heals her wound.) They really want that innocent. I just wish I knew why. Leo: There'll be more of them. Piper: Yeah, well, at least we have a way to find them now. Leo: I don't mean just them, Piper. I mean demons. And they'll just keep coming back, over and over, just like they always have, unless we let the Avatars stop it forever. [Scene: Brody's Apartment. Hallway. Paige is about to knock on the door when it opens.] Brody: Oh, Paige, I was, uh... Paige: Hey. Brody: Okay. I'm sorry about breakfast. Okay, I didn't handle it well. And-and, look, I know what you're gonna say. I'm obsessed about the Avatars. I know. Paige: That's not it. It's just that... Brody: Look, it's not gonna happen again, all right? I promise. Paige: It's not that. Leo's an Avatar. He told us this morning. Brody: What? How? Paige: We don't know. He didn't say. He just kind of dropped a bomb on us this morning. We don't know exactly what it means. (Kyle walks over to a closet.) Where are you going? (Phoebe walks in.) Phoebe: Parking sucks in this city. How's he taking it? (Phoebe's phone rings. She answers it.) Hello? Yeah. Darryl: It's Darryl. I'm stumped. Maybe you could use a little hocus-pocus to find out what Brody did with Sheridan. Phoebe: Okay, uh, but now's not really a good time, so can I call you back in a little bit? All right. Bye. (She hangs up.) Paige: (to Brody) What are you looking for? (Brody pulls out a suitcase.) Brody: This. Does he know where the others are? Paige: Others who? Brody: The other Avatars. (Brody opens the suitcase and pulls out a vial.) Paige: No, he didn't say. Why? Phoebe: What is that? Brody: It's a potion. Phoebe: For what? Brody: For killing Avatars. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Phoebe, Paige and Brody walk in through the front door.] Brody: Where is he? Paige: Kyle, would you stop, please? Phoebe: We are not gonna let you kill Leo. Brody: You don't understand. He's an Avatar now. Paige: No, he's actually our brother-in-law. Phoebe: How can you be so sure the potion's even gonna work? Brody: Because they killed my parents over it, that's why. Paige: One potion. That's all you have. You cannot get even with them all. Brody: Oh, the hell I can't. Their powers are all tied together. You kill one of them, it weakens them all. They become vulnerable. Paige: This is ridiculous. Leo did not kill your parents. Brody: If he's one of them, he did. Phoebe: He just became one of them. Look, we didn't come to you so you can kill Leo. We came to you to help us get rid of them. Brody: This is the only way to get rid of them. When my parents uncovered this, they didn't just discover a potion. They discovered a battle that happened five thousand years ago over our very future. They fought the Avatars then, and we gotta fight them now. (They walk into the dining room and see the mess.) Phoebe: What happened in here? Paige: Piper? Piper's Voice: Upstairs. Phoebe: At least we know she's okay. Paige: Well, looks like the demons didn't wait for us to go after them. They came here first. Brody: How do you know the Avatars didn't do it, huh? Phoebe: You know, he'll kill you first. You won't even be able to get that bottle out of your hand. Brody: We'll see. Paige: Look, I get that this is about your parents. I do, really. Brody: Yes. It is about my parents, and, no, you don't get it. Paige: The hell I don't. My parents were killed too, remember? Brody: Paige, my parents were murdered. Paige: Look. Leo is not the bad guy here. For all we know, he was brainwashed or possessed or something. Just, please, give us a minute. Just wait down here. Please? Brody: Just don't let him go, all right? I've spent twenty years looking for the Avatars. I'm not about to lose them now. (Phoebe and Paige go upstairs.) [Cut to the attic. Piper and Leo are there. Phoebe and Paige walk in.] Paige: Piper, what happened? Are you okay? Piper: No thanks to you. Paige: What is that supposed to mean? Piper: What it means is it would've been nice to have a vanquishing potion when we were ambushed, a vanquishing potion that you were supposed to make, by the way. Paige: Oops. Piper: Yeah, oops. Where the hell were you? Paige: I was at Kyle's. Leo: What were you doing there? Paige: Frankly? Trying to save you. Leo: Trying to save me. I don't need saving. I know what I'm doing. Paige: Do you know Kyle's parents were killed by the Avatars? Leo: That's impossible. It goes against everything they believe in. Phoebe: Well, you're gonna have to come up with a better argument than that if you go downstairs. Leo: Why is that? Piper: He's downstairs? Why is he downstairs? Paige: You don't wanna know. Phoebe: He thinks you're a threat, Leo, to all of us. Piper: Well, he's wrong. Phoebe: How do you know? Piper: Because. Look, I know this is a shock to everyone, but he didn't have to tell us the truth. He wouldn't have if it was a bad thing. Paige: Piper, everything, and I mean everything, points to them being bad. Even the Elders think so. Leo: Because they don't understand. Phoebe: So, what, we're just supposed to take your word for it? How do we know you're not possessed or something right now? Leo: Come on. Phoebe: No, Leo, I'm serious. How do we know? Leo: Because they haven't threatened anything we believe in. It's all good. Piper: We at least need to think about it. Paige: Since when did you jump on this Avatar train? Piper: When I started thinking about what my kids' lives would be like fighting the battles we've been fighting our entire lives. Phoebe: But it's what we do. It's what we were born to do. Piper: That does not mean we have to die doing it. Paige: Yeah, maybe you should try to talk to Kyle, hear his side of the story. Piper: I don't need to. I need to vanquish demons again. (Piper picks up the armband and Leo orbs her out.) Phoebe: Now what? [Scene: Underworld. Cave. The Sokol leader and other Sokol demons are there. The leader pushes a demon against a cage.] Leader: How is it you're the only one who still lives? Demon: I wasn't with them. I swear. I don't know what happened to them. (The leader puts a fireball inside the demon's mouth and the demon explodes.) Leader: Something is not right. Why would Malvoc attack only to retreat? How would that help him get to the innocent? (Leo orbs in with Piper. Piper shows them the arm band.) Piper: Lose something? (She throws it on the ground. She throws a potion and vanquishes two of the demons. Leo throws out a huge force of electricity and fire, vanquishing them all.) What was that? Leo: All part of the package. Piper: That was a lot of power. Leo: Yeah, when it's used wisely. See, the Avatars could destroy us or force us to change, but they don't. Isn't that enough reason to trust them? [Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Phoebe, Paige and Brody are there.] Brody: How could you let him go? How could you let the Avatar go? Phoebe: Okay, he's still Leo, so would you stop referring to him as the Avatar, please? Brody: All right, we gotta fix this, and we gotta fix it fast. Now, where did he go? Paige: I don't know. He orbed out with Piper. Brody: But how do you know he didn't go to alert the others? How are we supposed to stop them? Paige: He didn't. I promise. Brody: How do you know? Huh? How can you be so sure? I cannot believe you guys let him get away! Paige: Okay, something is wrong. He's not acting like himself. Phoebe: I think you need to orb that potion away from him before he does something stupid. Paige: What if he flips out? Phoebe: I think he already has flipped out. (Kyle shoots Paige in the back with a tranquillizer gun. She falls to the floor.) What did you do? Brody: It's just a tranq. She'll be fine. (He pulls out his gun and points it at Phoebe.) Phoebe: What are you doing? Brody: I'm killing an Avatar, and nobody's gonna stop me. [Scene: 16th and Mission. Alley. Leo orbs in with Piper and the innocent.] Piper: He should wake up in a couple minutes. Leo: Thanks, Piper. Piper: For? Leo: For believing in me. Piper: I always have. I always will. It's the only way... Leo: I know. (The innocent starts to wake up and Malvoc appears. He throws an energy ball at the innocent.) Malvoc: Thanks for helping. (Malvoc disappears.) Piper: What just happened? We vanquished them. Leo: No, we didn't. Piper: Yeah, we did. Leo: No, we vanquished the wrong ones. He had different markings. Piper: What do you mean? Leo: We were tricked. Piper: Yeah, well, we wouldn't have been if Paige and Phoebe weren't off chasing Avatars instead of helping me. [Cut to the manor. Conservatory. Phoebe is sitting on a chair and Brody is standing beside her pointing the gun. Leo orbs in with Piper.] Piper: Paige? Brody: She's fine. You and I are gonna have a little chat. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Continued from before.] Leo: All right, let's just take a deep breath here. We can talk this out. (Leo steps forward.) Piper: Leo. Brody: I don't want to hurt her, but I will if I have to. Your kind is responsible for a nightmare that won't go away, for all those nights waking up in a sweat begging that the flashbacks were just a dream. Piper: Kyle, please. Brody: It's not a dream, though, is it, Leo? You Avatars are as real as the air that we breathe and just as vacant. My parents were viciously murdered by them. So if I were you, Leo, I'd do what I say. Leo: The Avatars couldn't have killed your parents, Kyle. They believe in peace. Brody: I'm gonna give you three seconds to summon one of your buddies here, so I can kill them. If you don't, I'm gonna kill you. Leo: I can't do that. Brody: One... Leo: Avatars aren't the enemy, Kyle. Brody: Two... Piper: Leo. Brody: Three. Piper: No! (Leo shoots electricity at Kyle and Kyle drops the vial as he is knocked backwards. The vial breaks on the floor and a thick grey cloud of smoke enters Leo's body. Leo falls to the floor.) Leo? Leo: Piper, wasn't supposed to happen like this. Piper: No, it's okay. It's okay. (She starts to cry.) No, no, no, no, not now, please. (Leo groans.) Leo? Leo, come on. (She cries. Time suddenly freezes. Alpha and Beta appear.) Leo: I don't understand, how did this happen? Alpha: The potion is real, Leo. It kills Avatars. Beta: The Collective weakens with every last breath you take. We told you, the truth must come to them in their own time, not yours. Leo: But, Piper, she... Alpha: Understood, yes, but the others were not able to, and so we became the enemy out of fear and ignorance. Beta: And an innocent was lost because of it. Alpha: Everything was lost. Leo: I was just trying to make things right with Piper. Alpha: Of course. But you've learned, and now you can save yourself. You have it in you to rewind time to just before you told Piper the truth, if you hurry. Beta: If we all hurry. (They close their eyes and time rewinds.) [Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper and Leo are there. Piper is making the potion but is still frozen.] Leo: It worked. Alpha: Yes, but at a price. All that's happened has taken a great toll on our power. As it is, we may not have enough to implement our plan. Beta: To rid the world of demons, to end the duality requires all that we had. Leo: But if the sisters come to the truth, won't their powers add to the collective? Beta: Yes, but it may not be enough. Alpha: You must not try this ever again, Leo. You can never tell Piper about us, not until she's truly ready. (The Avatars disappear. Piper unfreezes.) Piper: Leo, please, this is not the time or place, okay? I don't want to get into this right now. This is a little dicey. Leo: Okay. Piper: Thank you. Leo: You're distracted. Piper: Please, don't tell me how to demon hunt. Leo: I'm not. I didn't mean to. Let's just focus on getting the demons. Not too much beetletoe. You don't want to blow up the place, do you? Piper: No. Why are you being so nice all of a sudden? Leo: I don't know. I guess I just realized I can't force things on you. If you're gonna trust me, you're gonna come to it in your own time. Piper: Hmm. There may be hope for you yet. Leo: Bottle up the potions. I think I know where the demons are gonna attack next. [Time lapse. Piper and Leo are standing in the dining room. The three demons appear.] Leo: Now! (Piper throws the potions and Leo shoots electricity at them, vanquishing them.) Piper: That was easy. Leo: Wait. (Malvoc appears behind the wall. Leo walks over and sees him.) Hey. (Leo shoots electricity at him, vanquishing him.) All right, now all we have to do is get rid of the other gang and we can bring the innocent back. Piper: All right, I give up. How did you figure all this out? Leo: You don't want to know, believe me. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Rooftop. Paige and Brody are sitting at a table having a romantic dinner.] Paige: What? Brody: Nothing. Just, uh, glad you gave me another shot, that's all. Paige: You didn't think I would? Brody: Well, I didn't hear from you after I botched breakfast. Paige: Well, breakfast isn't really a date anyway, right? And dinner, much better. Brody: And dessert? Paige: Dessert, too. Dessert is good. You know, Agent Brody, you are a damn fine cook. Any other secrets I should know about you? Brody: Other than my crazed obsession with Avatars. Paige: Oh, you're not so crazed. Brody: No? Wait till I meet one. Forget that. Let's, uh, rewind, and you can ask me the secrets question again, okay? Paige: Do you, Kyle Brody, have any secrets? Brody: No. (They kiss.) [Scene: Manor. Bedroom. Piper is standing near the doorway watching the boys sleep. Leo walks up to the door.] Leo: They asleep? Piper: Yeah. Finally. Leo: Piper? Piper: Hmm? Leo: Look, I know you think there's something I haven't been telling you. Piper: Leo, not now. Leo: Just hear me out. There actually is something I'm not telling you, but not because I don't want to. It's because I can't. Piper: What do you mean you can't? The Elders won't let you? Leo: Well, I can't even tell you that. I can tell you you're gonna find out soon. (She looks at him.) You're gonna be okay with it. Piper: Oh, yeah? How do you know? Leo: I know you.	Plan: A: Leo; Q: Who reveals to Piper that he is an Avatar? A: Alpha; Q: What is the name of the Avatar who warns Leo not to tell Piper he is an avatar? A: A huge disaster ensues; Q: What happens when Leo tells Piper he is an Avatar? A: touchy ingredients; Q: What was Piper adding to a potion cauldron when Leo told her? A: a potion cauldron; Q: What was Piper adding ingredients to when Leo told her he was an Avatar? A: subjective time; Q: What do Alpha and Beta freeze when they appear at the moment Leo rewinds time? A: task; Q: What do Alpha and Beta take Leo to? A: three; Q: How many sisters have trouble with the news of Leo's Avatar status? A: Kyle; Q: Who did Phoebe and Paige call for help? A: disastrous results; Q: What does Kyle's reaction to the news cause? Summary: Leo reveals to Piper that he is an Avatar, despite the warnings from Alpha and Beta that Piper should find out in her own time. A huge disaster ensues as Leo tells Piper just as she is adding touchy ingredients to a potion cauldron, which then blows up. Leo inadvertently rewinds time, and Alpha and Beta appear at that moment and freeze subjective time. In a frozen interval he is taken to task by Alpha and Beta and once again they attempt to dissuade him from revealing he is become an avatar to Piper. He stubbornly maintains Piper will be able to handle it. All three sisters have some trouble with the news leading to Phoebe and Paige calling on Kyle for help, but his reaction to the news causes disastrous results. The Avatars take Leo to task but allow time to be rewound to before Leo tells Piper.
Amy: Previously on "Heartland"... Ty: Scott couldn't guarantee I'd stay on, so I took that job at the reserve. Are you okay? Be exciting to start something new. Bob: These poachers aren't just a bunch of yahoos shooting deer out of season. Don't you want to stop this? What I really want is to go home after work in one piece. Jack: It's because you did such a good job taking care of this guy that Ty says he's healthy enough to go to a wolf sanctuary at all. Jade: Guys, they brought a keg! Everybody grab a beer. I know; I'm fired. You are gonna clean up this place until it looks brand new! And then you're fired. Poacher: If you keep sticking your nose where it don't belong, you're a dead man! (Ty grunts in pain) (Hooves clop on rocks, water splashes lightly) (Cell phone chimes) Amy: Hey, Scott. Sure. Yeah, I can come have a look at him. Okay. I'll see you soon. Okay. (Hooves clop on rocks, Amy clucks her tongue) (Bird screeches in the distance) (Birds chirp and cry) Bob: Yeah, that pups in great shape. But don't worry. The sanctuary he's going to uses the soft-release method. Georgie: What's that? Bob: Oh, it's awesome. They'll take this little guy and put him in a huge fenced-off area, with a bunch of other wolves, so he can slowly acclimate back into the wild. You know, kinda... get back into the swing of things. That's good, I guess. Well, you bet it is. They got a ton of success stories. Jack: Well, I think it's time to hit the road. But Ty's not even here yet. We've waited long enough. Dr. Granger has a lot to do, and so do I. Bob: Hey, you did a great job, kid. It usually takes a whole wolf pack to care for a pup 'til he's weaned. My gut says this fella's got a good shot at making it now. Aw... bye, Fang. Hmm. That's a great name. I've got a few scars myself. Bob: It was nice meeting you. Jack: You too, Bob. Bob: See ya. (Doors bang shut, engine starts) (Truck rumbles away) Jack: So you sure Ty said he was gonna meet us there? Georgie: Positive. I called him back right before we left for the reserve. Well, something must have come up. Maybe he's mad at me because I got too close to Fang, and I... I made up all those lame excuses to get him to come to Heartland when he didn't want to. Jack: Ty might be going through a tough time, Georgie, but he's not the least bit upset with you. Guaranteed. (Cell phone rings) Oh, see? I bet that's him right there. (Phone beeps on) Hello? Well, if it isn't Dr. Virani. How you been keeping? No. Yeah, of course, Tricia, I'll head over there right away. Yeah. No problem. We'll see ya. What's going on? Jack: Well, it looks like we're gonna make a bit of a detour. (Gearshift shifts, truck rumbles down road) Oh. Well, I just thought Georgie would be home by now. Ah... yeah, I was, I just- I got... held up with something here. Could you just tell her that um... I'm sorry I didn't make it and that I'll talk to her soon? Okay. Thanks, Lou. Bye. (Pea bag rustles, dishes clank) (Ty exhales sharply) (Groans softly) (Truck engine rumbles in the distance) (Truck engine idles loudly outside) (Engine cuts out, trailer door opens) (Door bangs shut, trailer door bangs shut) Hey, Scott, what's up? Just dropping off your final paycheque. Ty: Oh, I was... I was gonna come by later and get it. You didn't have to come all the way out here. I didn't. I'm taking this horse to Heartland. Got it. So, uh... things are okay? Yeah. Couldn't be better. You're looking a little rough. Uh... I didn't get much sleep last night, so... Yeah. Well, I gotta get going. 'kay, well, thanks for dropping this off. No problem. (Truck door bangs shut) Georgie: We're back! Lou: Grandpa, I'm really glad you're home because I have a ton of errands to run. Jack: Well, I'm hoping that you can hold up for a minute. Come on. Jade? Didn't I just fire you? Yeah. Miss me? S08E06 ♪ And at the break of day you sank into your dream ♪ ♪ You dreamer ♪ oh, oh, oh... ♪ You dreamer... ♪ You dreamer... Jack: Oh, Tricia called, she had to go out of town. She asked if Jade could stay here for a few days. I would've been totally fine living on my own. Oh, right. Because you've proven yourself to be so responsible. Is somebody gonna clue me in to what's going on here? Georgie, can you please take Jade up to your room? Georgie: What?! Jade: What?! I don't wanna hear it. Especially not from you. (Sighs) Fine, let's go. Can I come, too, mama? Georgie: Okay, Katie, come on. Oh, uh, Georgie, Ty called. He said that, um, he's sorry he missed you at the reserve, and he'll see you soon. Georgie: Okay. Jade: Ty? That's that hot vet, right? Georgie: don't be gross! The dude ranch was a total mess this morning! Jade threw a huge party there last night. Party at the dude ranch? Yeah. There was a cancellation, so she knew it was empty. You gonna tell Tricia about this? I was planning on telling her about it today, in person. Well, too late. She's off to Toronto to try to patch things up with her husband. Fine. But if she stays here, she pulls her own weight. And I swear to God, grandpa, if she steps one foot out of line again... Okay, agreed. Just... go easy on her. She might even be helpful. I wouldn't bet on it. (Truck rumbles) (Trailer door clicks shut) Good morning, Scott! Hey! Morning, Amy. Scott: This is Dash. Amy: Oh... Scott: A client of mine just bought him. Amy: What's his problem? Scott: He's pretty skittish. Real struggle just to mount up. I checked him over. There doesn't seem to be any pain or soreness. Amy: Okay. Well, let's get him tacked up and see what's going on. Scott: 'kay. Amy: All right, Dash. Good boy, Dash. (Dash snorts nervously) Hey... hey! Whoa... Stand. Stand. (Dash snorts) Hey! Stand. Whoa. Whoa... hey. (Pats Dash) Well, he seems okay once you're on. It's just getting there. (Dash snorts) Scott: I'm sorry, Amy, I gotta run. The clinic's been crazy busy these days. Does that have something to do with Ty? Yup. Kind of left me in the lurch. Have you seen him lately? Yeah, I was just at his place. Amy: 'kay, well, I'll do my best with this guy. Amy: No promises. Scott: Thanks, Amy. I know you'll figure him out. You always do. (Dash snorts restlessly) (Tinny sound of music through headphones) (Laundry basket clunks) Jade: Um... what's all this? Lou: I am going out for a little while and you are gonna take care of some things for me while I'm gone. What kind of things? Lou: Folding the laundry, uh... cleaning up the living room, and I've just put Katie down for a nap, and you're gonna watch her for me. Right, grandpa? Jade: Uh... but-but the kid hardly even knows me. What if she freaks out when she wakes up? Why can't Georgie do it? Jack: Georgie is working with Amy. I'll be around to help out. Okay, fine. Katie is a light sleeper, so the less you check up on her, the better. You can keep an eye on her with this. Jade: Oh, cool! A nanny-cam. So what's the going rate for babysitters in the boonies? Well, I'm not sure it matters since you're helping out for free. Jade: I was just kidding. Get a sense of humour already. Lou: You know what? You two look like you're gonna have fun. I will be back as soon as I can. Bye. (Screen door creaks open) All right. Well... I'm heading back to the barn. Jade: Wait! I thought you said you'd be around? The barn's just across the yard. You're a smart girl. (Electronic device beeps, music starts playing) You sure it was the poachers? Well, they weren't exactly trying to hide it. And they said they'd be back if I didn't stop asking questions. They took their surveillance camera, too. That sucks, buddy. No doubt about it. I just don't know how they knew where I lived. They knew my name, too. We've gotta find these guys. Well, the way I see it, you got off easy. I'm not afraid of them. You should be. I had a run-in with some poachers a while back and... (Chuckles) Ty: Well, what happened? You take a few hits? Bob: No, man. They handed me my butt on a platter. I spent a couple days in the hospital. And then they threatened to put me out of business if I didn't back off. So I decided to start keeping a lower profile. Ty: Wait a second. How so? Bob: I report everything to Fish and Wildlife. Let them put their necks on the line. Better them than me, right? So should I call them about last night? Um, no, those guys know me. Let me handle it. (Birds chirp and Twitter) (Dash snorts, hooves plod) (Amy clucks her tongue) Amy: When a horse won't stand still, you have to give him a reason to stop. (Amy clucks her tongue) Good boy. (Whistles) Georgie: So you're trying to tire him out? Amy: Yeah. And keep him focused. You know, he probably had a bad experience that stayed with him. So he needs to get to know me as much as I need to get to know him. Then he'll realize I'm not a threat. Cool. Cool? How's he doing? Okay, I guess. 'kay, well, Lou called. She's running late. I'm heading to Maggie's to pick up dinner. Now, Katie should be up any time now, so... can you check in on her? But I thought Jade was with her? Gotcha. (Gate clanks) Amy: Good boy. Katie: (Humming) Georgie: Katie?! Where's Jade? Katie: I don't know. (Yelling) Jade! Jade! (Door opens) Jade: Yeah! Where were you? About to crush my personal best score! Georgie: Okay, well, you can't just leave Katie alone like that! Jade: Chill out, kid. You can do more than one thing at once. It's called multi-tasking. Ever heard of it? The nanny-cam was helping me babysit. See? I got it covered. Georgie: Okay. Whatever. Here. Come on, Katie. We're gonna go have a snack. (Blocks clatter) This place is a disaster! Look at all this laundry. Jade: Yeah, Lou told me to fold it. I just... I haven't got around to it yet. Georgie: We have to clean this up before she gets home. Lou is gonna lose it. Jade: Yeah. Let me just finish this level. I'm kinda on a roll here. (Video game sound effects) Georgie: Jade. (Annoyed sigh) (Ty exhales sharply) Bob: What's the skinny on these guys? Ty: All spayed and neutered. Procedures went well. Bob: Cool. Ty: I think they're ready to go. I guess you oughta be the one to set 'em free. See them go forth and not multiply. (Laughs) That's the idea anyway. Why don't you just take 'em out beyond the perimeter fence tomorrow? Ty: You bet. Bob: All right. Bob: Well, I'm off. Ty: Okay. Bob: Oh, hey. There's this um... little joint just down the road I always go to. Thought I might stop off for a couple pops. You wanna come? My treat. Uh... yeah, maybe. Well, you've had a rough night. I mean, might be just what you need. Ty: Uh... Bob: But hey, like, don't let me hold you back, if you got somewhere you gotta be. No, no, I don't. I just got some stuff I gotta... I gotta finish up first, but I'll see you there later maybe. All right, buddy. Don't stay too late. (Birds chirp) (Phone beeps) (Gate clanks shut) Jade: Dinner rocks. My mom never cooks. Jack: Well, I can't take the credit. It's leftovers from Maggie's. Lou: Have you heard from your mom? Jade: Nah. She's too busy wasting her time in Toronto to care about me. She's trying to give my dad space. Bad idea. It totally backfired. He got himself a stupid new girlfriend and moved on. (Cutlery clinks) Lou: Well, I have to admit. I was pleasantly surprised by everything you did today. (Knife scrapes as it cuts) Well, uh... Georgie pitched in, too. Pitched in? More like I did everything myself! I babysat, I set the table, I picked up toys. I did laundry! I was going to help, but you did it all so fast I didn't have a chance! That's 'cause you were playing your stupid video game. Lou: Okay, you know what? I knew this wasn't going to work. Jade: Oh, come on! Jack: All right, that's enough! Jade, since you're not so interested in helping out around here, I've got something else you can do. Well, she's not going near the dude ranch again. Jack: As of tomorrow morning, Jade is going to be Heartland's new ranch hand. No way! I don't even like horses! Too bad. You bunk here, you pitch in. Simple as that. I am trying to focus on work right now. The last thing I need is someone who clearly isn't into it. Jack:: Well, you know, I remember it wasn't all that long ago you helped turn another reluctant recruit into a fairly decent ranch hand. That was mostly you, and besides, it was different with Ty. Jack: Well, in some ways it was, yes, but, in the important ways, it was the very same. Lou: No. I'm-I'm with Amy. That's two strikes, and I just- I don't think this is a good idea. I just think it could be just what Jade needs. Amy: And what about what I need? I'm gonna go do night check. (Receding footsteps) Georgie, you need to be part of this too. Not sure how I can help. Well, step up and you show Jade the ropes. So I'd be... kind of like her boss? Well, I guess that's one way to look at it. (Rooster crows, phone chirps) (Door creaks open, phone chirps) (Phone chirps loudly) Jade: Where's my stupid phone?! (Sighs) You are evil. Come on! You've hit snooze like a thousand times already. I just need a couple more minutes. Get up now, or else I'll be back with a bucket of ice cold water. You wouldn't dare. Come on! We have to go! Jack is waiting. Jade: See, thing is, kid... I don't do mornings. (Slams phone down) You know what? You do now. So get up! (Pillow thwacks Jade, Jade groans and grunts) Jade: Hey! Hey! Stop it! Georgie: Get up! (Straw rustles, shovels scrape) Ugh! How do you stand it? I'd lose my mind if I had to do this everyday. Georgie: I think it's fun. (Jade sighs and sniffs the air) Ugh! It's making my clothes reek. And it's totally ruining my boots. Jack: Guess you're getting the hang of it then. Well, it's not exactly rocket science. Jack: Uh, Georgie, why don't you go see if Amy needs some help with that new horse. Georgie: (Relieved sigh) Gladly. Jade: Well, that was fun. Yeah, I'm uh... heading into town. I expect you'll be done by the time I get back. You're kidding, right? I can't do anymore; My hand hurts. I think I'm getting a blister. I guess... you'll need these then, seeing as you still got a ways to go. So I have to do all this on my own? Well, that's the great thing about living on a ranch. The fun just never ends. (Dash pants and snorts, Amy clucks her tongue) Good boy, Dash. Okay, I think he's ready to give this another try. (Clucks her tongue) Good boy. Whoa... stand. (Dash snorts nervously) Stand. Hey. Hey. (Clucks her tongue) (Dash snorts nervously) Hey, hey, hey. Whoa... Stand. (Dash snorts) (Snorting) What's his deal? He has a problem with standing still. Jade: Well, aren't horses supposed to move? Isn't that the whole point? Amy: Have you ever tried to get on a horse that won't stand still? Hardly. I stay as far away from them as I can. Amy: (Laughs) Well, a horse's natural instinct is to flee if it feels threatened or anxious. Makes sense. Probably feels a lot safer than just sticking around to see what happens. That's exactly what he's thinking. For someone that doesn't like horses, you seem pretty interested. Jade: Well, I guess I'd better go finish cleaning the stalls before Jack gets back. Don't want him to have a meltdown. (Birds chirp) (Loud thunk, birds cry in the distance) (Cage rustles the grass) Ty: All right. Doors are open. (Carrion birds crow in the distance) (ATV rumbles) (Engine cuts out) (Carrion birds crow loudly) Damn. Amy: Good boy. You're okay. (Dash snorts nervously) Whoa, whoa, whoa. Georgie: Whoa. Relax. Ho, there. Amy: Whoa... whoa... Good boy. He's doing it! Amy: Good boy! That's what we want. (Pats Dash) Let's try that again. (Rooster crows in the distance) Stand. (Laughs) Good boy, Dash. Georgie: (Laughs) Amy: That's great! All right. Well, I say we call it quits for today. Georgie: All right. Jade and I will go untack him. Amy: Jade doesn't seem too keen on horses, Georgie. Georgie: She just needs to get used to being around them. Amy: Well, don't push it, okay? People have to come into it in their own time, and some just never do. Georgie: That's why I'm gonna show her exactly what she's missing. (Amy laughs, gate latch clanks) (Flies buzz, grass rustles) (Flies buzz loudly) (Animal wails) (Wailing) (Growling) (Bear cubs growl, bushes rustle) Georgie: So once you're done loosening all the dust and dirt, then you can brush it out like this. Jade: Why are you even showing me this? Georgie: Because it's part of being a ranch hand. Jade: Who cares? I didn't sign up for this! I can't believe my mom's making me stay here. Georgie: She's just worried about you. Jade: Yeah, well, she should stop meddling. You know, I can take care of myself. Georgie: (Sighs) Look, I've had some people not care about me at all. It's way better to have someone worry about you, trust me. And since you're stuck here, you might as well take some time to bond with the horse. Jade: I don't think so. Jack probably has like a million more chores for me. Actually, I already talked to him and he says it was okay. (Dash snorts) What is he doing? Make him stop! (Laughs) It's nothing to freak out about. I'm not freaking out. It just means he likes you. Hey? Good boy. Wow. He really likes carrots. Yeah. All right. I'm gonna go grab copper and tack him up. You can take Dash back to his stall. I don't think so. And you need to stop pushing all this horse stuff on me, okay? It's bad enough I'm stuck raking up all their poo! Georgie: Look, if you're gonna be a ranch hand, you got to learn to ride. Ride? Ugh! Yeah, you're kidding, right? Nope, and I'm gonna teach you. Jack thinks it's a good idea, too. So, if you have a problem with it, you can go talk to him. (Dash nickers) This is so not fair. (Bridle jingles) (Hooves clop, gate clanks open) Come on. Come on. (Nervously) Mm! (Gate clanks shut, Jade sighs) The bear was a sow. Those cubs probably belonged to her. Bob: That sucks. The cubs have gotta be six or seven months old now, so at least they can survive on their own. Ty: I think you're missing the point. They've already killed two bears that we know of. Fish and Wildlife is working on it. It just takes time. It's hard for them to make headway without new info. Bob, those orphaned cubs are on us. Look, I get that you're upset, buddy. So am I. Well, I'm not just gonna sit around and wait, okay? I'm gonna try and stop them. Bob: Look, you just don't get it, do you? What if these are same poachers that I dealt with and now you're on their radar, which means so am I and my reserve. I mean... these guys are dangerous. What're they gonna do when push comes to shove? They're gonna come right after us! This isn't just about bears, Ty! Got all these other animals to worry about. Why don't you do me a favour and take the day off tomorrow. Ty: What're you talking about? Bob: Take the day off and go and get your head straight around this. Grow up! [SCENE_BREAK] (Birds chirp and squawk) (Gate creaks open) Jade: This is gonna give me hat head. Georgie: Okay, well, get over it. Beginners have to wear a helmet. Those are the rules. Amy: Don't worry, Jade. We'll be right here. There's nothing to be afraid of. Jade: I'm not! don't you get it? I just don't wanna do this. (Grunting and panting) Amy: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dash! (Latch clanks) Whoa... Dash. Whoa, buddy. It's okay. Stand! How did this happen? Well, don't look at me. Jade was the one who put him in his stall! How is this my fault? You have to check that the stall door is latched. I did! Well, you obviously didn't check close enough. This is a client's horse, Jade, and I'm responsible if anything happens to him! I get it, okay? But I didn't do anything wrong! Thanks for having my back. (Receding footsteps, Dash snorts) Yes, but the horse is fine. Can't you cut her a little slack? I just don't think that Jade is taking this ranch work seriously enough. Lou: Well, she hardly ate anything. She's obviously upset. Someone should talk to her. (Sighs heavily) don't you look at me. I already tried. Besides, I'm not the one who thought that this was a good idea. (Birds chirp outside) She's got a lot on her mind. She has a point. I am the one who thought this might be a good idea. Lou: That's true. Jack: But... I'm not giving up on her. Not just yet. (Dogs bark in the distance, cat meows) (Approaching footsteps) Saw your truck outside. You're here pretty late. Well, I am a bit short-staffed these days. Look, Scott, the only reason I came by is 'cause I could use your help. For real? You leave me high and dry and now you want my help? (Cage door rattles) Okay. Forget it. I was just wondering if you had any connections with Fish and Wildlife. Why you wanna know? Because I found two dead bears. Both killed with crossbows. Both females. Scott: Where? (Map rustles) Ty: One here... and today, a new mother right here. Both had their gallbladders removed. Poachers. Sounds like they were being baited. Yeah. I found her orphaned cubs hanging around. That's too bad. The thing is, Scott, Bob called Fish and Wildlife, but they don't seem to be doing much. So I thought if you knew someone there that... I dunno, maybe you could help. I'm afraid not. Well, it was worth a shot. I guess I'll try and track down their baiting stations myself. If you're smart, you'll let Fish and Wildlife handle it. So, in the meantime, I'm supposed to let these guys kill as many bears as they'd like? I don't think so. (Receding footsteps) (Screen door creaks open and closed) Jack: So you were pretty quiet during dinner. (Tinny music plays through headphones) Hey! I said, you were pretty quiet at dinner. Just trying to stay out of trouble. Look, Jade, everyone makes mistakes. What matters is how you choose to handle it. Meaning? Well, meaning... Georgie could use a hand doing night check. I think I'll take a pass. Well, it's not up to you. Besides, sitting here feeling sorry for yourself sure won't solve anything. You know, it might even make you feel good. Jade: I seriously doubt that. Jack: You ask me? It's too bad when people get so worried about making mistakes, that they quit trying altogether. (Broom swishes) Georgie: Hey! Here. Let me. Look, I'm sorry about earlier, okay? I was supposed to be supervising. Well, I guess it makes it your fault, then. How about... it's both our faults. Okay. I can live with that. You know, he likes you. You should pet him. It's okay. Look it, his ears are pointing towards you; that means he wants you to. You know, you should really change your story. Which one? Georgie: About not liking horses. The truth is... they do kind of scare me... a little bit. But there's something about this guy. (Gate clanks, latch clicks) Georgie: You know... I can help you get over your fear, if you want me to. (Rattles gate) (Birds chirp, seat belt clicks into place) Lou: There you go. I'll get you your snack. Morning! Amy: Good morning. Where are you off to? Lou: Oh, Katie has gymboree. I'm gonna pop into Maggie's. But we'll be back soon, right? Katie: Yup! Jack: So how's it going with that new horse? Amy: Pretty good. I'm happy with the way he's responding. I think we're getting close. Jack: Well, I'll give you a hand. Amy: Thanks. (Door rumbles open) Amy: Oh no! (Sighs) Jack: It looks like he's long gone. Jade: What's wrong? Amy: Dash is missing. You forgot to check the stall door again? Jade: Hey! I'm not stupid! Jack: Tone it down. I double checked this time. Amy: Looking after horses isn't for everyone, okay? And maybe you're just not up to it? It wasn't Jade's fault! We double-checked the latch. It was fine when we left him. Amy: Then how do you explain this disappearing act? We can't. That's not good enough. (Bridle jingles, gate clanks open) Got your message. What's up? Scott: Well, I thought about what you said. But if I'm gonna get involved, I wanna check this area out for myself. Ty: No, no, no. Thanks for the offer, but I got it. It'll be fine. Scott: No, it won't. I know you're too stubborn to drop it. But I don't have a lot of time. So when can you do this? Well, I uh... I got the day off. All right. I'll get Cass to cover. But I can only spare a couple hours. Amy: Come on, grandpa. Losing a client's horse, that's a big deal. Jack: That is true, but we're not really sure how it happened yet, and seems to me that you've been... overreacting to pretty much everything these days. (Crows caw) Amy, I swore I was gonna stay out of things from here on out, but I know from experience that it can be good when two people take the time and space from each other that they need. Look at me and Lisa. The time we spent apart after my heart attack, that was good. But there's also such a thing as taking too much time. I've tried talking to Ty, okay? It just never works. Amy, if you want things to change, you gotta keep trying. (Sighs) Jack: There he is right there. Amy: (Sighs) Do you mind watching Spartan? Jack: Sure. (Lands with a thud, grass rustles underfoot) Amy: Well, we're about to see if he's learned anything. Hey, boy. Stand. Whoa... stand. Good boy. Huh? You had us worried. Come on, let's go home. Jack: Looks like you fixed him. Amy: Yeah, not bad, huh? (Truck rumbles loudly) Ty: Yeah, stop anywhere along here and we'll walk in. Scott: Okay. (Engine cuts out, doors open and close) Ty: You sure we need a tranq gun? Scott: Just a precaution. Bears are food-driven. If they find a reliable source, chances are they'll be back. Ty: All right. I found both dead bears in this general area. (Loud snort nearby) Georgie: Look! (Hooves plod lightly, horse snorts) Is he okay? Oh, he seems to be just fine. Georgie: (Relieved sigh) I'll take him. (Georgie clucks her tongue) Amy: Girls? I was pretty upset before. But now that I've had a chance to cool off, I've gotta ask you again, do you have any idea how this happened? No. None. Sorry. We've gotta find out though. (Georgie clucks her tongue) Ty: The bear cubs ran off into those woods. Probably a good place to start. Scott: Poachers usually monitor a few baiting stations at once. There's the ground blind. Ty: There's the bait. Looks like stale donuts and cookies. Scott: Makes sense. Bears usually have a sweet tooth. Ty: (Sighs) (Carrot crunches loudly) Jade: This is lame. He's not doing anything, he's just standing there. How long are we gonna keep doing this? Georgie: As long as it takes. What if there's nothing to see? Maybe I didn't latch the stall door. Georgie: I saw you check it, remember? Look! No way! That is messed up. Amy and Jack will never believe this! Maybe we can show them. Ty: What do you think? Call Fish and Wildlife, let 'em take it from here? Yeah, we'll call. (Dialing beeps) (ATVs rumble nearby, phone beeps off) (Foliage rustles underfoot) (ATVs rumble loudly, engines cut out) (Bag rustles) Ty: I know those guys. They paid me a visit. It's time for a little payback. Hey! Don't do anything stupid. But I guess it's too late for that, huh? Careful, Ty! Ty: Huh! Poacher: Oh! (Grunting and groaning) Ty: Hey, you're not so fast! (Hard punch) Ty: Stay down! Poacher: Okay, okay. Take it easy! Ty: Nice try. Why spend your day off sticking your nose where it don't belong? Bob: I told you to leave it alone, man. Ty: You told them my name, Bob! That I had the day off. Where I lived! You knew they were coming after me and you let it happen! Bob: You don't understand. Ty: Yes, I do understand! You've been lying to me from the start! About everything! Okay, yeah, the poachers threw some money my way and I took it. Now that may sound bad to you, but I have been busting my butt off just trying to keep this place open! I did it for the greater good. Oh, don't kid yourself. You're no better than they are. I'm not proud of it, but I did what I had to do to survive. And yeah, a few bears died, but look at all the other animals that got to live. Ty: Oh, yeah? Bob: Yeah! Tell it to Fish and Wildlife, and good luck with that. Bob: Ty, wait! (Loud thunk, Bob sighs heavily) Jack: What do you got going on in here then? Georgie: Wait till you see this! Jade: Prepare to have your minds blown. Lou: Consider us warned. (Jack chuckles) Jade: Come on, Dash! Come to the carrot! Georgie: Come on! Jade: Come on, boy! Jade: Come on, Dash! Come! Georgie: Dash, come on! Jade: Come get it! (Whistles) Jade: Come on! Georgie: You can do it! Georgie: (Clucks her tongue) Jade: You love carrots. Come on, I know you do! Come on! Jade: Come get it! Georgie: Good boy! Jade: You got it! You got it! Georgie: Come on! Georgie: You can do it! Jade: What's that? Jade: Good boy! Georgie: Wait, almost... Almost there! Georgie: Wait, almost... Jade: Come on, you almost got it! (Latch clanks) Georgie and Jade: Good boy, Dash! Jade: Good boy! Come here! Come get it! Georgie: Oh, good boy! Lou: That's crazy! I've never seen anything like it. How did you guys figure this out? Well, we spied on him with Katie's nanny-cam. But we wanted you guys to see it in person. So Jade came up with the carrot idea. Well, I better rig something up quick before he decides to drive the tractor. Amy and Lou: (Chuckle) I guess I owe you two an apology. This time I'm the one who jumped to conclusions and sorry I was so quick to blame. Good boy, Dash. (Patting him) Now for your final test. He's doing it! Amy: (Laughs and pats Dash) You're such a good boy. (Dash snorts) Amy: (Clucks her tongue) Whoa... That's it. Do you wanna give it a try? Come on, you can do this. Jade: I can't believe I'm getting sucked into this. Amy: Just put your left foot in there and swing your right leg over. There you go! Okay, now hang onto your reins. How do you feel? (Amy clucks her tongue) Amy: Good job! Georgie: Nice! Amy: Take him forward! Come on, Dash. Ty: Hey, Scott?! Scott: Hey. Sorry to hear about Bob. Thought he was a decent guy. Yeah, I thought so too. But he made some stupid decisions and now he's gotta deal with the fallout. Look, I... I gotta say, I really appreciate you stepping up and helping me out. It was great to work with you again. Look, I know a lot was said, but this is one of the best jobs I've ever had. I have to admit, it hasn't been the same around here without you. Thanks, man. I... I appreciate that. You know what, Scott? I... I totally blew it. You've got a business here to run and I didn't handle that Dr. Kerr thing very well, and I see that now. Is there any way you'd ever consider hiring me back on? Scott: The thing about you, Ty, is you always put the welfare of the animals first. Which is one of the qualities that's gonna make you a great vet someday. And just so you know, I walked away from the Dr. Kerr deal. So what're you saying? Welcome back. Are you serious? (Hands slap) Thanks, man. You won't regret it. Don't thank me yet. Cassandra's really picked up the slack since you've been gone so... she's the boss now. That's fine. I'll do whatever it takes. I'm just happy to be back. See you in the morning, Ty. (Knocks on the desk) You bet. (Gate clanks open, hooves clop) Wait. I wanna give him this. Here you go, boy. (Chuckles) Okay, girls, time for him to go. Georgie: Oh... Amy: (Chuckles) Amy: Come on, Dash. (Clucks her tongue) Good boy. ♪ Nothing was wrong (Door bangs shut) ♪ We just moved on ♪ No fear in our hearts ♪ love on the tip of our tongue ♪ Jade: It sucks saying goodbye. Georgie: That's how it is in the animal business. We try not to get too attached. And I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it doesn't. ♪ We just got lost ♪ and I will always remember we're better together ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh... Amy: Hi. Ty: Hey. Where you headed? I'm... returning this horse to Scott. I guess he must be pretty busy. Amy: Yeah. Ty: Hopefully I can help with that now. What do you mean? Well, I just got my old job back. Amy: That's great! What about that reserve? Ty: I quit. It's kind of a long story. Um... (Sighs heavily) I should get going. Amy: Ty? I miss you. Take care of yourself. ♪ No, nothing was wrong (Truck rumbles away) ♪ We didn't give up ♪ no fear in our hearts ♪ we just got lost ♪ no, nothing was wrong ♪ we just got lost Announcer: On the next Heartland... My brother thinks there's something wrong with the horses. Announcer: Too much horse to handle. Pull back! Announcer: When horse whispering isn't the answer. You're such a liar! Announcer: A plot is a foot. He's going to sell them. We have to stop him. Announcer: An all new Heartland, next Sunday at 7:00 on cbc.	Plan: A: Amy; Q: Who blames Georgie and Jade when a client horse repeatedly escapes from his stall? A: the horse; Q: Who has hidden skills? A: Reserve; Q: Where is Ty's boss? A: a dangerous poaching ring; Q: What does Ty's boss refuse to help him bring down? A: assistance; Q: What does Ty turn to Scott for when his boss refuses to help him bring down a poaching ring? A: Jack; Q: Who enlists Georgie's help to turn Jade into a ranch hand? A: Scott's clinic; Q: Where does Ty go after finding out his boss was involved in a poaching ring? Summary: Amy blames Georgie and Jade when a client horse repeatedly escapes from his stall, but she is forced to reevaluate when she discovers that the horse has hidden skills. When his boss at the Reserve refuses to help him bring down a dangerous poaching ring, Ty turns to Scott for assistance. Jack enlists Georgie's help to turn Jade into a ranch hand. Ty returns to Scott's clinic after finding out his boss was involved in the poaching ring.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] [Roars] Derek: What are you? Jennifer: The only person who can save your sister. Deucalion: Guardians, Scott. You help me catch her. I'll help you get your mother and Stiles' father back. Stiles: Scott, don't do this. Don't go with him. Jennifer: Derek, look at me. [Roars] [Smack] Stiles: Derek? [Grunts] Stiles: Derek, come on! [Frantic music] [Grunts] [SCENE_BREAK] Derek: Where is she? Stiles: Jennifer? Gone with Scott's mom. Derek: She took her? Stiles: Yeah, and if that's not enough of a kick to the balls, Scott left with Deucalion, okay? So we gotta get you out of here. The police are coming right now, and we gotta get you the hell out of here. Whoa. Derek: What about Cora? [Tires screech] Isaac: You see the twins? Peter: No. But I see the Argents. [Distant howl] Allison: What is it? Chris: A retreat. Isaac: Not to bring up uncomfortable memories, but wasn't the last time you saw them the time you killed Kate and then they burned you alive, hmm? Stiles: Where are the others? Isaac: I don't know. Scott and Stiles went back for Derek and Jennifer. I had to get Cora out. Allison: Where's Scott and Stiles? Derek: Stiles is still at the hospital. He's gonna hold off the cops for us. We have to go right now. Chris: What about Scott and Melissa? Derek: Jennifer took Melissa. Allison: What about Scott? Derek, where's Scott? [Sirens wailing] [Indistinct chatter] Stiles: [Sighs] Oh, just perfect. Agent Mccall: A Stilinski at the center of this whole mess. What a shocker. Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm? Stiles: If you ask the questions without the usual level of stupid. Agent Mccall: Where's your dad, and why's no one been able to contact him? Stiles: I don't know. I haven't seen him in hours. Agent Mccall:I s he drinking again? [Sighs] Stiles: What do you mean, again? He never had to stop. Agent Mccall: But he did have to slow down. Is he drinking like he used to? Stiles: All right, how about this? Next time I see him, I'll give him a field sobriety test, okay? We'll do the alphabet, start with "F," end with "U." Agent Mccall: How about you just tell me what the hell happened here? [Exhales] Stiles: I don't know what happened here. I was stuck in the elevators the whole time. Agent Mccall: You're not the one who put the name on the doors, are you? Stiles:What name? [Ominous music] [SCENE_BREAK] [Elevator dings] [Exciting music] [SCENE_BREAK] [Gasping] Isaac: She's dying, isn't she? Derek: I don't know. Isaac: So what are you gonna do? Derek: I don't know. Isaac: Want to figure something out? Because while Scott and Stiles were out there trying to help people from being killed, you were in here, rolling around the sheets with the actual killer. Do you get how many people she's killed? Erica and Boyd are dead, Cora is dying, and you are doing nothing! Why'd you do this to us, Derek? Was it all about the power? Were you bored? Were you lonely? Derek: Maybe. I told Cora I wouldn't leave. I'll help the others when I figure out how to help her. Isaac: There's no time! [Tense music] [SCENE_BREAK] Isaac: The full moon's coming. The sheriff and Melissa are gonna be dead, so I'm gonna try and help them. You can sit here and perfect the art of doing nothing. [Door slams] Peter: I wouldn't take it personally. Anger is just a tool. He's using it to excuse shifting allegiance from one Alpha to another. From you to Scott. Derek: Scott's not an Alpha yet. Peter: But he's on his way, isn't he? Chris: The word is guardian, Allison. More than anyone, you know that's a role i haven't exactly lived up to lately. Allison: But she took Scott's mother and Stiles' father. That's not a coincidence. Stiles: Yeah, I'd also consider the fact that someone put your name up in large block letters on the elevator doors. That kind of felt like a warning to me. Allison: I think it might be Morrell. She knows a lot more than she lets on, and she might even be trying to help us. Stiles: Well, she needs to get on that a lot faster, okay? Seeing as how the lunar eclipse is less than two freaking nights away. Chris: Stiles, don't give up hope. Stiles: They could already be dead. Chris: I don't think so. There's something about Jennifer's tactics. It's like she's still positioning, still moving pieces into place. Allison: And you're one of them. Chris: Then let's not wait around to see the next move. Everything she's done has been on a telluric current, so Melissa and the sheriff have to be somewhere on one of those currents, right? Stiles, if we're gonna find them, we need your help. Stiles: You seriously want to go after her? I mean, what if she just takes you like the others, huh? No offense, but what's the difference between you and them? Chris: I'm carrying a .45. Maybe she can heal from a shot to the leg and a few slashes to the face, but personally, I'd like to see how she holds up with half her skull blown off. We've got one priority right now, and that is to find Melissa and your dad. We've got a map and every clue we need to figure this out. The only thing we don't have is time, which is why I need both of you. [Sighs] Stiles: Where do we start? Chris: The place where the sacrifices have been committed have usually been different from where the bodies have been found. I think the placement has to do with the strength of the current, so there's the school, the animal clinic, the bank. Stiles: Wait a sec, she wouldn't use the same place twice, would she? Chris: Only if she didn't succeed the first time. Allison: Scott's boss. Chris: Deaton. It was her only failure. That could mean something. Stiles: That's just one place so far. We're gonna need a lot more help. Allison: What about Lydia? Chris: Lydia? What can she do? Stiles: Uh, Lydia's got sort of a talent. She somehow ended up finding a couple of the bodies, um, without actually looking for them. Chris: What is she? Psychic? Stiles: She's something. [Gasping] [Tense music] [SCENE_BREAK] [Both breathing heavily] Peter: Careful. [Panting] Derek: Don't worry. I know going too far could kill me. Peter: That's not exactly what I meant. [Electronic music] [SCENE_BREAK] Stiles: Whoa. [Gun clicks] Stiles: I thought you guys were retired. Chris: Retired, yes. Defenseless, no. Make sure your phone's on. If you hear from Scott, you let us know immediately. Stiles: Yeah, I'm thinking that's gonna be kind of unlikely. Chris: Both of you, try to remember he's just doing what he thinks is right. Isaac: I can't shoot a gun or use a crossbow, but... Well, I'm... I'm getting pretty good with these. Peter: I've heard it's something only an Alpha can do, and with good reason. Derek: Which is? Peter: You know normal wolves never abandon an injured member of the pack. They care for it. They bring it food from a kill and then regurgitate it into the mouth of the injured wolf. They even give it physical and emotional comfort by intensely grooming it. In a way, they can do more than just ease pain. They can be instrumental in healing their own. Derek: If you're trying to tell me I can save her, just tell me. Peter: I'm telling you... I've heard it's possible. Derek: How? Peter: It's that spark of power that makes you an Alpha. When you take her pain, she draws on the power that provides you with those special gifts. The power that heightens your senses, your strength. The power that transforms your body. As an Alpha, you have that bit of extra, that spark intensifies the color of your eyes from a bright yellow into a searing red. Derek: If I can save her... Peter: If. If. I didn't say it works every time. It could just as easily kill you. Derek: How do I do it? By taking her pain? Peter: And then some. Because there's a cost. [Mellow music] Ms Martin: Okay, sweetheart, this is not a problem. Having gotten my share of hickeys in high school, I developed some patented cover-up methods. If you don't want to go to school, honey, you don't have to. Lydia: That's not it. It's just... Someone tried to strangle me... And I survived. [SCENE_BREAK] Lydia: I don't need to hide that. [SCENE_BREAK] Ms Martin: No. No, you don't. [SCENE_BREAK] Ms Martin: But we're still gonna do your hair, right? Lydia: Of course we are doing my hair. [Laughs] [Door creaks] [Foreboding music] [SCENE_BREAK] Allison: It's empty. Chris: Be careful anyway. [Flicks baton] Isaac: I thought you only used those on werewolves. Chris: I do. [Gasps] [Grunts] Allison: What the hell are you doing? Chris: I'm sorry. But you're just gonna have to trust me on this. I knew for a long time she didn't just operate on the currents. She was in sync with them. [Faint whirring] [Dramatic choral music] [SCENE_BREAK] Jennifer: Now this is a sacrifice. [SCENE_BREAK] [Whirring] Lydia: I don't believe it. Scott can't really be with them. He can't be. Stiles: You didn't see the look on his face, though. It was... Lydia: then what can I do? I mean, I get that I'm some kind of, like, human geiger counter for death, but... I don't know how to turn it on and off yet. All I know is that she tried to kill me because of... Stiles: because of what? Hey, Lydia, what? Lydia: When she called me a banshee, she was surprised by it. What if that's not why she tried to kill me? Stiles: Then why did she? Lydia: That's what we need to find out. [Gasps] Allison: Why did he do that? saac: I don't know. We need to go. Okay? We need help. [Dramatic music] [SCENE_BREAK] Isaac: Allison... Allison, we have to go. Allison: They're all gonna die. Aren't they? [Breathing shakily] [SCENE_BREAK] Peter: I can understand not seeing a downside to this, as you haven't exactly been Alpha of the year, but think about what else you'd be losing. Derek: I don't care about power. Not anymore. Peter: What about the power to fight back? Correct me if I'm wrong, but Kali's ultimatum still stands. The full moon is tomorrow night, and if you couldn't beat her as an Alpha, how do you think you're gonna fare as a beta? Derek: I don't care. Peter: What if this was exactly what Jennifer was hoping for? She would know the only way for you to save Cora would be giving up your power. Maybe that's what she was gonna have you do at the hospital. Derek: Why? Peter: So that you wouldn't be able to face the alphas without her. She wants you to come to her. It's all part of her little seduction, and she is still seducing you. She needs you on her side. Lydia: Aiden's not texting me back. [Indistinct chatter] Lydia: Okay, well, maybe we could just... we could go over there and... [Phone vibrates] Lydia: What? Stiles: Oh, God. Lydia: What is it now? Stiles: It's from Isaac. Jennifer, she t... she has Allison's father. She took him. She's got all three now. Lydia: There's still time. [Heart pounding] Lydia: We still have time, right? [Gasping] Lydia: Stiles? [Voice echoing] Are you okay? What is it? What's wrong? Stiles. Stiles: I think I'm having a panic attack. [Gasping] [Gasps] Sheriff: You okay over there? [Panting] Melissa: Chris? It's Chris, right? Chris: Yeah. Oh. [Chuckles] Sheriff: Is it just me, or has somebody been here before? Chris: Years ago. [Grunting] Sheriff: Hate to disappoint you, but we watched her take your ankle knife. Melissa: And the knife that's in your sleeve. Sheriff: And the switchblade in your other sleeve. [Groans] [Grunting] Jennifer: And the taser in your jacket pocket. [Suspenseful music] [SCENE_BREAK] Jennifer: Argent... The French word for silver. Ah, ah, ah. Interesting how truth becomes altered by legend... When it's not actually the metal silver that kills werewolves but the family. What's the Argent code again? "We hunt those who hunt us"? I hope you don't mind if I borrow it for a little while, since I've been hunted myself. Chris: Don't pretend like we have the same cause. I don't kill innocent people. Jennifer: That's why they call it a sacrifice, and I wish it worked another way. But think about what you're doing. You are making this town... even this world... safer for your children. Well.. [Chuckles] Most of them. [SCENE_BREAK] Lydia: [Panting] Okay Come on. Come on. [Gasping] Lydia: Just try and think about something else, anything else. Stiles: Like what? Lydia: Uh, happy things. Good things. Uh, friends, family. [Gasping] Lydia: Oh, I mean... not family. Stiles: Oh, God. Lydia: Okay, uh, just... Try and slow your breathing. [Gasping] Stiles: I can't. I can't. [Hyperventilating] Lydia: Shh, shh. Stiles, look at me. Shh, look at me. Shh, Stiles. [Pop tune] [SCENE_BREAK] Stiles: Ooh. How'd you do that? Lydia: I, uh... I read once that... Holding your breath could stop a panic attack. So when I kissed you... You held your breath. Stiles: I did? Lydia: Yeah. You did. [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Stiles: Thanks. Really smart. [Chuckles] [SCENE_BREAK] Lydia: I just... I don't know. I just read it somewhere. And if I was really smart, I would tell you to sign up for a few sessions with a guidance counselor. [Dramatic music] [SCENE_BREAK] Stiles: Morrell. [SCENE_BREAK] Stiles: Are you here for Ms. Morrell? Danielle: No, I thought this was gym class. Lydia: Sweetheart, we're not in the mood for funny. Do you know where she is? Danielle: If I did, I wouldn't be waiting here for 20 minutes. So how about you two back out the door and wait your turn? Lydia: We're not here for a session. Danielle: Well, I am. And I've got some serious issues to work on. Stiles: Hey, wait, wait. You're Danielle. You're Heather's best friend. Danielle: I was Heather's best friend. We've been working on that issue three times a week. Lydia: Hold on, did you say Ms. Morrell's 20 minutes late? Danielle: And I don't know why either. She's always on time. Lydia: I was seeing her at the beginning of the semester. She was never late. Stiles: Then she's not late. She's missing. Lydia: What if we're not the only ones who think she knows something?\ Then I want to know what she knows. Lydia: What are you doing? Stiles: Trying to find her. Danielle: Those files are private. Lydia: Yeah, she's kind of right. Stiles: That one's yours. Lydia: Let me see that. Stiles: Wait, Lydia, that's your drawing. Lydia: Yeah, I know. It's a tree. Danielle: Yeah, good too. Lydia: Thank you. Stiles: No. But that's the same one, though. Lydia: Same as what? Stiles: The same one I always see you drawing in class. Lydia: It's a tree. I like drawing trees. Stiles: No, but it's the exact same one. Don't you see? Give me your bag. There, see? [Eerie music] [SCENE_BREAK] Danielle: Okay, you can have my session. You got bigger issues. [Gasping] Lydia: What is this? Stiles: I know where they are. it's the Nemeton. That's where she's keeping them. It has to be... Agent Mccall: Stilinski. Stiles: Agh. All right, look, go to Derek, okay? He and Peter, they've been there before, so they'll know where it is. Tell them it's the root cellar, all right? They'll know. Agent Mccall: Did you know your dad's car is in the school parking lot and has been since last night? Stiles: No. What does that mean? Agent Mccall: It means he's officially missing. Stiles, why am I getting the feeling you know something that could help us find your dad? Stiles: If I did, why would I not tell you? Agent Mccall: If it meant helping your dad, why wouldn't you? Stiles: So you're asking me to tell you what I wouldn't not tell you? Agent Mccall: First, I have no idea what you just said. Second, how about you just help me help you? Stiles: Well, I don't know how to help you help me tell you something that would help you if I don't know it. Agent Mccall: Are you doing this on purpose? Stiles: I don't know anything, okay? Can I just go? Agent Mccall: Where are your other friends? Stiles: You mean Scott? Agent Mccall: I mean Scott. I mean Isaac Lahey, Allison Argent, these twins Ethan and Aiden. I've been told your whole little clique didn't show up at school today. Stiles: I don't have a clique. Agent Mccall: Stiles, come on. There's been a pretty disturbing amount of violent activity in this county in the last few months, several murders tied to this school. I don't know what's going on here, but it's serious. And... hey. Your dad is missing. Fine. But I don't want you going home alone. You have someone you can stay with tonight? Deaton: He's with me. Lydia: You. Peter: Me. Lydia: You. [Sighs] Peter: Me. Derek, we have a visitor. [Dramatic music] [SCENE_BREAK] [Distant howl] [Panting, snarling] [Growls] Ethan: This way. Scott: It's a firefly. Deucalion: Unusual for this region. Scott: It's because of Jennifer, isn't it? Just before all this started, a deer crashed into Lydia's car. The cats went crazy at the animal clinic. Birds flew into the high school. That was all her. Deucalion: They say animals can sense natural disasters when they're about to happen. Maybe they can sense supernatural ones as well. Scott: Does she scare you? Deucalion: She concerns me if she's willing to kill that many innocent people for her cause, people like your mother and Stiles' father. Scott: Are you willing to kill innocent people? Deucalion: I'll kill any living thing that gets in my way. Lydia: You don't know where it is? But Stiles said you'd been there. Peter: We have. But after a few memorable experiences there, Talia... Derek's mother and my older sister... decided that she didn't ever want us going back. She knew how dangerous it was and took the memory of its location from us. [Eerie music] Lydia: But then how are we supposed to find it? [SCENE_BREAK] [Both grunt] [Grunts] [Growling] [Growls] [Panting] Deucalion: How did you know, Marin, that we'd come for you? Ms Morrell: Because Jennifer and I are the same. And I know you've always been suspicious of us, of what we can do. Kali: With good reason. We know you sent that girl... the one who helped Isaac. Braeden: Whoa. Isaac, get down! [Grunts] Deucalion: What was her name? Ms Morrell: Braeden. And I sent her to do what I've always done... maintain balance. Deucalion: What do you know about Jennifer? Ms Morrell: Nothing more than you know. This isn't you, Scott. Go back to your friends. Deucalion: He can decide what's right for himself. Ms Morrell: Not without all the information. Have you told him everything you've done? How you've piled up bodies in a narcissistically psychotic effort to form your perfect pack? Bodies that include Ennis, by the way. My brother saved him. He was alive when Deucalion went in to see him. He wants you to go after Derek, Kali, to force his decision. If Derek joins the pack, it paves the way for Scott. Deucalion: The lies people will tell when they're begging for their life. Ms Morrell: Ask him. [Tense music] [SCENE_BREAK] [Groans] [Growls] Scott: Hey, back off. [Panting] [Groans] [Gasps] Scott: I'm not going to let them kill you. But if you know something, if you know where they are... Ms Morrell: the Nemeton... you find that, you'll find Jennifer. Find the Nemeton. [Sighs] Melissa: I don't wanna kill your optimism or anything, but, you know, the both of us have been trying to do the exact same thing for hours. Sheriff: You been tied up before? Chris: [Exhales] Many times. Sheriff: What, is that, uh, part of being a werewolf hunter? Melissa: I tried to download him on as much as I could. Sheriff: Yeah, I was starting to feel a little bit left out. Chris: You knew. I remember meeting you once, before you were sheriff. You questioned me about a body. You knew something was up. You just weren't ready to believe it. Sheriff: You're right. There was a night eight years ago... the night my wife died. I was at the end of a shift, and a call came in. There had been a pile-up, and a young woman... she was a teenager, actually. She was trapped under an overturned car. We had to wait for the paramedics. We were never getting her out. But I was able to hold her hand. She knew she was gonna die. But I just kept telling her, "no, no, listen. The paramedics are on their way." And then I remember, her hand suddenly gripped mine so tightly that I... I literally thought she was gonna break the bones. And she looked me in the eye, and she said... "If you wanna be with her, go, now." And I knew she was talking about my wife. But then that other part of my brain... the part that looks for clues, for fingerprints, for logical connections... that part told me that there is no way that this girl could possibly know about Claudia. And so I stayed. I stayed until the paramedics pulled her out. [Somber music] Sheriff: Until her heart stopped beating and they declared her dead. When I finally got to the hospital... I saw Stiles sitting in the waiting room with his head in his hands because... He was with Claudia when she died. [SCENE_BREAK] Sheriff: But I wasn't. I wasn't with her because I didn't believe. I just did not believe. Stiles: It has to be on a telluric current, or maybe even at the axis of two or where they all intersect. I just know it's where Derek took Paige to die. Allison: My dad and Gerard were there once. But Gerard said it was years ago, and he couldn't remember where it was. And my dad obviously isn't here to tell us now. Stiles: Yeah, mine either. Isaac: Then how do we find this place? Deaton: There might be a way. But it's dangerous. We're gonna need Scott. Scott: How'd you guys find out? Stiles: Lydia. You? Scottt: Morrell. None of the other alphas know where it is either. Stiles: So if this works, are you gonna tell them? Scott: I can't stop Jennifer without them. Deaton: How about we concentrate on finding your parents first? Scott: What's the plan? Deaton: Essentially, you, Allison, and Stiles need to be surrogate sacrifices for your parents. Scott: We die for them? Stiles: But he can bring us back. You can... you can bring us back, right? Deaton: You remember the part where I said it was dangerous? If it goes right, the three of you will be dead for a few seconds, but there's something else you need to think about. This is a dangerous thing for more reasons than one. You'll be giving power back to the Nemeton, a place that hasn't had power for a long time. This kind of power is like a magnet. It attracts the supernatural, the kind of things that a family like the Argents can fill the pages of a bestiary with. It will draw them here, like a beacon. Stiles: Doesn't sound any worse than anything we've already seen. Deaton: You'd be surprised at what you have yet to see. Scott: Is that it? Deaton: No. It'll also have an effect on the three of you. You won't be able to see it, but you'll feel it every day for the rest of your lives. It'll be a kind of a darkness around your heart, and permanent, like a scar. Scott: Like a tattoo. [Grunts] Melissa: What is that? Stiles: Ultrasonic emitter... a smaller version of what we use to corral werewolves. Only they hear it. Most of the time we use it to push them away. Let's see if it works to attract them. [Beep] [Dramatic music] [SCENE_BREAK] [Grunts] Derek: It's gotta be now.vI don't have a choice. Peter: You always have a choice. It's whether or not you can live with the consequences... facing Kali as a beta. Derek: But it's not just a full moon coming. It's a lunar eclipse. We'll all be powerless. [Splash] Deaton: All right. What did you bring? Stiles: Um, I got my dad's badge. Jennifer kind of crushed it in her hand, so I tried hammering it out a bit. Still doesn't look great. Deaton: Well, it doesn't need to look good if it has meaning. Is that an actual silver bullet? Allison: My dad made it. It's kind of a ceremonial thing. When one of us finishes learning all the skills to be a hunter, we forge a silver bullet as a testament to the code. Deaton: Scott? Scott: My dad got my mom this watch when she first got hired at the hospital. She used to say it was the only thing in their marriage that ever worked. Deaton: Okay, the three of you will get in. Each of us will hold you down until you're essentially... Well, dead. But it's not just someone to hold you under. It needs to be someone who can pull you back, someone that has a strong connection to you, a kind of emotional tether. Lydia... You go with Stiles. Allison: Are you sure? I mean, Scott and I both have to go under. Scott: It's okay. [Soft music] [SCENE_BREAK] [Exhales] [SCENE_BREAK] [All shivering] Stiles: By the way, if I don't make it back and you do, you should probably know something. Your dad's in town. [SCENE_BREAK] [Dramatic music] [SCENE_BREAK] [Soft instrumentals]	Plan: A: a way; Q: What do Derek and Peter try to find to save Cora? A: Allison; Q: Who did Argent sacrifice himself to save? A: The group; Q: Who discovers that Jennifer is holding her victims in the root cellar? A: Scott; Q: Who is the Alpha pack leader? A: Ms. Morrell; Q: Who does Scott and the Alphas hunt down? A: Deucalion; Q: Who injures Ms. Morrell with his cane? A: the blade; Q: What part of Deucalion's cane is used to injure Ms. Morrell? A: the brink; Q: Peter tells Derek that he can heal one of his own even at what point of death? A: power; Q: What does Derek choose family over? A: his Alpha powers; Q: What does Derek lose when he heals Cora? Summary: After escaping the Alphas, Derek and Peter try to find a way to save Cora, while Allison, Isaac, and Stiles discover that Jennifer has named Argent as her last sacrifice. Sacrificing himself to save Allison, Argent hands himself over to Jennifer. The group discover that Jennifer is holding her victims in the root cellar. Scott and the Alpha pack hunt down Ms. Morrell; Deucalion injures her with the blade in his cane. Peter tells Derek that as an Alpha, he can heal one of his own, even at the brink of death. Choosing family over power, Derek heals Cora, losing his Alpha powers in the process. Stiles and Deaton find Scott and convince him that they need to be 'temporarily' dead in order to find out where their parents are. Scott, Allison, and Stiles are then put into tubs of ice and pushed down.
THE TRIAL OF A TIME LORD PART TEN (TERROR OF THE VERVOIDS) Run time: 24:18 [SCENE_BREAK] Cargo hold [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: Why is only low spectrum light allowed in the place? Edwardes: Something to do with photosynthesis. Low spectrum light allows the plants to stay dormant. Edwardes: Now, I'll go first. We don't want you breaking your neck. At least, not until... Guard: What are you doing here? You were told not to come down... Mel: Back there! Edwardes, he's dead! He just touched the fences. Guard: Save your explanations for the Commodore, lady. Guard 2: He's dead, all right. Guard: Stay with him. I'll send help. Move. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] Valeyard: Another death, Doctor? But for the caprice of chance, the victim would have been your companion, Mel. Your culpability is beyond question. Inquisitor: You could have prevented her from going into the cargo hold. Instead, you appear to encourage her. The Doctor: When I viewed the Matrix earlier, that isn't what happened. Valeyard: More futile grasping at straws. When the facts tell against you, you cry fraud. Inquisitor: Do you wish to reconsider, Doctor? The Doctor: No, madam. I am being manipulated, but the only way to discover why, and by whom, is to press on. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Isolation room [SCENE_BREAK] Doland: Just an accident. No cause for concern. The stewardess will take care of that. [SCENE_BREAK] Gymnasium [SCENE_BREAK] Lasky: Why aren't you wearing a pulsometer? The heart should be monitored while exercising. The Doctor: Which heart would you suggest, madam? Unfortunately, that doesn't register a double pulse. Lasky: A double pulse? What are you, a comedian? The Doctor: No, more a sort of clown, actually. Would you care to hear my rendering of On With The Motley? Rudge: Doctor, you're required on the bridge. The Doctor: Ah! The Commodore wants a chat. Good, I shall enjoy that. Rudge: I don't think you'll find enjoyment's on the agenda. [SCENE_BREAK] Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: I don't need anyone to speak up for me. I'm quite capable of defending myself. Travers: How long have you known this woman? The Doctor: Er, time is a comparative concept, Commodore. Mel: Not now, Doctor. Just answer the question. Travers: I should accept that advice and drop the sophistry. Can you vouch for her? The Doctor: Completely. Utterly. What's all this about, Mel? Mel: The Communication's officer's dead, and they think I did it. Rudge: She was caught running from the scene. She can't deny that. Mel: I haven't tried. I persuaded Edwardes to show me the Hydroponic Centre. It was booby-trapped. The Doctor: Booby-trapped? Mel: If it hadn't been for Edwardes, it would have been me who was killed. Rudge: What? are you certain? Travers: What is it? Rudge: It's the medical team. They say they can't find Edwardes anywhere in the hold, sir. Mel: But he must be there. The Doctor: Or perhaps he wasn't dead. The weird atmosphere down there could lead to phantasmagoria. Mel: Oh, come on, you know me. Am I prone to that sort of imagination? The Doctor: Well. Travers: I thought you'd left a man down there. Guard: I did, sir. Travers: Well, where is he? Rudge? Rudge: They say there's no sign of him either, sir. Mel: The guard's disappeared too? Well, now perhaps you'll accept that I'm not responsible. You've had me in custody! The Doctor: The perfect alibi, Commodore. Travers: Organise a search, Mister Rudge. I want those men found. Rudge: Yes, sir. Travers: Now, since you've put in an appearance, first a passenger, now my communications officer and a guard have gone missing. Two, if not all three, murdered. You, standing there in your divine state of innocence, you can't tell me what's happening, can you? Mel: I can. The answer's simple enough. You've got a killer on board. [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: Look, Doctor, you can't just play a passive role. We were sent for, remember? The Doctor: I'm cogitating. Mel: About what? The Doctor: Whether his job is to keep unwanted visitors out or... Mel: Keep someone in. The Doctor: Hmm. Intriguing, isn't it. Mel: Does seem strange, I admit. An armed guard outside an Isolation Room. [SCENE_BREAK] Cargo hold [SCENE_BREAK] Bruchner: No matter how you and Professor Lasky rationalise the situation, we should never have proceeded to the point we've reached. Doland: How you became a scientist, Bruchner, baffles me. You have the temperament of an overcautious rabbit. Did you leave the gates open? [SCENE_BREAK] Hydroponics centre [SCENE_BREAK] Bruchner: Doland, the pods! Bruchner: Every one of them. Empty. Doland: Some fool must have introduced high intensity light into the Centre. Bruchner: We're confronted with a catastrophe and that's your reaction? Don't you realise what's been unleashed? [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Isolation room [SCENE_BREAK] Rudge: Not again. Janet: What's going on in there? Rudge: Don't ask me, I'm only the Security officer. [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: Where are they? The Doctor: Where are who? Mel: You know exactly what I mean. Where are the seeds? The ones you picked up in the wrecked cabin, or did you think I'd forgotten. The Doctor: Uh huh. Mel: Oh, come on. The Doctor: What do you want them for? Mel: Professor Lasky. She's an agronomist. I'm going to ask her. The Doctor: Is she? An agronomist, huh? You'd better leave me to cope with this. Mel: You? The Doctor: Mmm. This is a situation that requires tact and finesse. Fortunately, I am blessed with both. The Doctor: Professor Lasky. Lasky: Oh, it's you, the comedian. What do you want? The Doctor: I understand that you're an agronomist. Lasky: A thremmatologist, to be precise. The Doctor: A thremmatologist? Then you're well qualified to tell me about these. Lasky: Stewardess! Stewardess! Janet: Something wrong, Professor? Lasky: Fetch the Security officer. Janet: Can I help? Lasky: At once! Janet: May I be told what's wrong, Professor? Lasky: This man's a thief. Janet: Mister Rudge to the passenger lounge, please. Mel: Tact. Finesse. Now what have you landed us in? [SCENE_BREAK] Hydroponics Centre [SCENE_BREAK] Bruchner: What was that? Doland: Nothing. Pull yourself together, Bruchner. Bruchner: There's someone in the hold. Doland: Bruchner, you're allowing hysteria to take... Bruchner: I know what I saw. There was a movement. [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] Lasky: That puts an entirely different complexion on the situation. Pity your friend the comedian wasn't as lucid. The Doctor: I never had a chance to be... Lasky: I can't understand why they were in cabin six, or why a mineralogist would steal them. Mel: Are they special, Professor? The Doctor: Yes, just what I was going to... Lasky: Demeter seeds? Yes, they are. They represent a tremendous advance, a colossal leap. The Doctor: Do they? Mel: What did you call them? The Demeter seeds? The Doctor: The name of a god... Lasky: Food of the gods. Bruchner, my assistant, bit of a romantic, highly strung, he christened them. The Doctor: That still doesn't explain... Lasky: He wasn't just being pretentious. They'll increase potential yield threefold. And even more, they'll grow in desert sand. Rudge: Er. Lasky: What is it, man? Don't stand there hovering. The Doctor: You sent for him. Lasky: I did? Oh, yes. Not to worry. Rudge: But I do worry, especially when serious allegations are made. You accused the Doctor of being a thief. Lasky: Oh, that. A mistake. The fellow may be a fool, but he's not a criminal. [SCENE_BREAK] Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: Project our course through the sector ahead. Put us onto a straighter course. Reduce the diversion to a point naught three safety margin. Officer: I estimate that brings our ETA forward by seventy two hours, sir. Travers: Seventy two hours closer to getting expert investigators on board. Carry on. [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: No, Doctor. The Doctor: No. Kimber: No, thank you. Travers: No need for concern. Just a navigational adjustment. As you can see, it doesn't even require my presence on the bridge. Now, for your information, the change of course will bring our landfall forward by seventy two hours. Travers: Switch on your translator. Atza: Surely we are approaching the sector with the Black Hole of Tartarus. Travers: That's correct. Atza: If you are saving time, we must be going closer to the black hole. Travers: There's no danger. The safety margin is more than adequate. Ortezo: That is hardly a denial. Enzu: Simply a bromide. Travers: You sought reassurance, I've given it. Ortezo: That word reassurance, bears sinister undertones for we Mogarians. Travers: Indeed? Ortezo: It is the word the Earthlings used when first they persuaded us to allow them to sink mines on Mogar. Atza: A limited concession was all they requested, and now they are stripping our planet bare. Enzu: Truth is a stranger to the Earthlings. Travers: If you'll excuse me, politics do not come into my realm of influence. The Doctor: Then they should. Atza: Who are you? Another prospector? The Doctor: Only of knowledge. I have visited your planet. It's very rich in natural resources. Ortezo: Which will soon be exhausted if these Earthlings are not restrained. They are going through the universe like a plague of interplanetary locusts. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] Valeyard: Are we to be subjected to a dissertation on interplanetary politics now, Sagacity? The Doctor: Is that all you think it was? Valeyard: Mining rights, Mogarians versus Earthlings. What else would you call that? The Doctor: You are so pathetically intent on incriminating me you haven't been watching what's going on! Valeyard: My eyes never left the screen. The Doctor: Well, you may have been selected to prosecute me, Valeyard, but I hope you'll never be chosen to defend me. Valeyard: An occasion that will not arise, Doctor. Your lives are forfeit, as I have ably proven. The Doctor: Something vital just happened in that scene, and the Valeyard perversely switched our attention to more trivial matters. Valeyard: Then for pity's sake tell us what it was that happened and enjoy your moment of triumph. The Doctor: Triumph? There's no cause for celebration. One of the occupants of that lounge is about to die. Valeyard: Another murder? The Doctor: Yes. And if you had been watching, you would know who was the intended victim. Inquisitor: Gentlemen, is this case to be resolved with a battle of words or to be conducted via the Matrix? [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: You've drawn a blank where Edwardes is concerned? Rudge: Yes, sir. Perhaps we should search the passenger cabins. Travers: No. The passengers are already uneasy. Do you want them to realise they're trapped with a killer on the loose? The Doctor: You're very quiet, Mel. Not quite your style to go into a brown study. Mel: Brown study? Is the vocabulary of all the Time Lords so antediluvian? Travers: Are you trying to kill him? The Doctor: I'm trying to save him! Atza: He will die if you remove his helmet. Rudge: Mogarians can't breathe oxygen. Surely you're aware of that? The Doctor: He's not a Mogarian! Mel: He's not? Travers: Then who is he? The Doctor: If you'll kindly allow me to remove his face plate? I fear this poor fellow is beyond help. Janet: It's Grenville! The Doctor: Grenville? Rudge: The passenger from cabin six. Travers: The man who's supposed to have been dumped in the pulveriser. The Doctor: His name isn't Grenville. It's Hallett. Travers: Send a stretcher party to the lounge. [SCENE_BREAK] Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Officer: Yes, sir. I'll organise that immediately. [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: Carry on, Mister Rudge. Kimber: Poor Mister Hallett. I knew it was Hallett. I recognised him, remember? The Doctor: You recognised him? Kimber: Yes. Rudge: But he denied it. He insisted his name was Grenville. The Doctor: Well, he would. Mel: Well, whether his name's Grenville or Hallett, why did he stage his own death in the pulveriser? The Doctor: This gentleman's just given us the answer. Kimber: I have? The Doctor: Hallett had presumably been assigned to investigate something or somebody on this ship. Then he had the bad fortune to be recognised. A chance encounter that put his entire mission in jeopardy. Rudge: Are you saying we had an undercover agent aboard and I wasn't informed? The Doctor: Well, you may have been a suspect. Rudge: Me? The Doctor: Together with everyone else on this voyage. Rudge: Is all this guesswork, or have you any more tricks up your sleeve? The Doctor: No tricks, Mister Rudge. I knew Hallett, and admired him. But I assure you, until I removed that face plate I had no idea he was on board. Rudge: All nice and lily white, Doctor, but it does leave one nasty little problem. The Doctor: It does? Rudge: How did you know the dead man wasn't a Mogarian? [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] Valeyard: Yes, how did you know? Have you been editing the Matrix and denying the court all the evidence to which it is entitled? Inquisitor: That would be a serious offence, Doctor. The Doctor: At the risk of appearing impertinent, Sagacity, I would point out that you, the Valeyard, and everyone here present could have acquired the same knowledge. Inquisitor: Perhaps we may hear your explanation. The Doctor: With respect, you will not hear it from me. Travers (on screen): Switch on your translator. Atza (on screen): Surely we are approaching the sector with the Black Hole of Tartarus. Travers (on screen): There's no danger. The safety margin is more than adequate. Ortezo (on screen): That is hardly a denial. Enzu (on screen): Simply a bromide. The Doctor: As you saw, the bogus Mogarian did not switch on his translator. Valeyard: Very astute of you, Doctor, but don't stop there. Let us assume the murdered man was responsible for the mayday call. Perhaps you'll now direct your deductive gifts towards justifying his extraordinary behaviour. Inquisitor: Yes, the investigator Hallett's methods were very unorthodox. The Doctor: Agreed, and I am indebted to the prosecutor for putting his finger on the nub of my defence, the reason why I could no longer stay on the sidelines. [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: Anyone there could have poisoned his drink. The Doctor: Providing us with a plethora of suspects. Mel: Us? Do I detect a commitment at last? Because of Hallett's death? You said you admired him. The Doctor: I did. He was one of a rare breed. A maverick. Even the highly organised society of the thirtieth century has need of his kind. He'll be missed. And he left these seeds for me to find. Mel: To lead you to where I've been telling you all along. The Hydroponic Centre. [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] Bruchner: What are you doing away from your post? The Isolation room is under no circumstances to be left unguarded. If it happens again, I shall report you to the Commodore. [SCENE_BREAK] Cargo hold [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: Hallett must have sent that mayday call. The Doctor: Yes, he wanted me here as a catalyst, and to divert attention away from his own activities. Mel: You'd do that without being asked. The Doctor: Hallett was an unorthodox man, but he was also a subtle man. So why did he resort to such blunderbuss tactics? Why use me as a Judas goat? Mel: Well, he was running out of time. The mayday message said as much. Perative traitor be identified before landing Earth. I'd guess the incomplete word was imperative, wouldn't you? The Doctor: Do you know, I've always envied you that. Mel: I shall probably regret this, but go on, I'll buy it. Envied me what? The Doctor: Your amazing ability for almost total recall. Mel: Compliments. You are undergoing a change. The Doctor: I could have been comparing you to an elephant. Well, figuratively speaking. They never forget. Mel: Doctor, I realise you're trying to take my mind off poor Edwardes. The Doctor: If you'd rather wait here... Mel: No. [SCENE_BREAK] Hydroponics centre [SCENE_BREAK] Mel: What have you got there? The Doctor: A leaf from Hallett's pocket. Mel: I didn't see you take it. The Doctor: Ah ha! Neither did anyone else. Another one of my tricks. The Doctor: What do you make of these pods, Mel? Mel: I'm not into agronomy. Ask the professor. The Doctor: Ah. Thremmatology. The professor said she was a thremmatologist. Mel: You're going to have to enlighten me. It's out of my range. The Doctor: The science of breeding or propagating animals and plants under domestication. Mel: I'm not much wiser. The Doctor: Well, think, Mel. You've got a good brain. Think. The Doctor: I wonder what came out of this? [SCENE_BREAK] Gymnasium [SCENE_BREAK] Bruchner: Will you end this charade, this pathetic pretence at normality. Can't you accept we're on the brink of disaster? Doland: Bruchner, will you stop panicking? Our work must remain secret whatever the cost. Bruchner: You're completely without conscience, Doland, I'm aware of that, but I expected the professor to grasp the enormity of our folly. Doland: So you're suggesting that we jeopardise years of scientific research for the sake of some hypothetical danger? Lasky: Exactly. We've no reason to believe the results of our experiments are other than benign. Bruchner: Benign? Have you been in the Isolation Room lately? Lasky: An unfortunate mishap that has no relevance to this situation. In any case, it's academic now. Bruchner: I lack your lofty detachment. Lasky: Do you also lack loyalty, Bruchner, to your colleagues. Before we left Mogar, we agreed that our discovery should be divulged to no one, no one, until we reached Earth. Unless you have concrete evidence to prove there is danger, I expect you to keep your word. Bruchner: You simply don't understand, do you. The crime we are committing in the name of science will make us infamous! Bruchner: That's assuming there's anyone left to pass judgement. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside cabin 8 [SCENE_BREAK] Janet: Decided to get some rest, Mister Kimber? Kimber: Yes, though I doubt if I'll sleep. At my age, one doesn't like to be reminded of mortality. Janet: May I fetch you a warm drink? It might help. Kimber: Thank you. That's very gracious. Janet: It's the stewardess, sir. [SCENE_BREAK] Cabin 8 [SCENE_BREAK] Janet: I've brought your warm drink, sir. Shall I leave it on the dressing table? [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: What's a thremmatologist doing in an isolation room wearing a surgical mask? Mel: Seeing as there's only one way to find out, you've got two problems. The Doctor: Two? Mel: Apart from getting rid of the guard, you're going to need a mask, and you can hardly ask the professor to lend you hers. Mel: Did you hear that? The Doctor: Quickly, the lounge! There are passengers trapped! On the double, man! There are lives at stake. [SCENE_BREAK] Isolation room	Plan: A: Hyperion; Q: What ship is the crew of? A: the Pods; Q: What has been opened on the Hyperion? A: The Doctor; Q: Who is brought to the bridge? A: Commander Travers; Q: Who questions The Doctor and Mel about murders and disappearing bodies? A: Dr. Laskey; Q: Who does The Doctor wonder about? Summary: The crew of the Hyperion discover that the Pods have been opened, The Doctor is brought to the bridge where Commander Travers questions him and Mel about murders and disappearing bodies. The Doctor starts to wonder about Dr. Laskey and decides to investigate her.
[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS - NIGHT] (A college man runs across campus. He's blind-folded and dressed in a pair of women's bra and panties, his wrists bound and elbows taped to his body.) (Three other college boys chase after him. Frat Boy: Say it loud and say it proud! PLEDGE: Omega zeta pi! (Two of the frat boys carry paddles in their hands as they chase the inductee around the campus grounds.) Frat Boy: Say it loud and say it proud! PLEDGE: Omega zeta pi! (The Inductee runs and trips over something. He lands in a pile of worms. The three frat boys chasing him stop and stare at him. Because the Inductee is blindfolded, he spits the worms out of his mouth) PLEDGE: Dude ... (he spits) What's crawling on my face? [SCENE_BREAK] (Camera zooms in for a close-up of the maggots.) [EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS - GROUNDS -- NIGHT] (Eva and Grissom stand in front of the pile of maggots.) Eva: It's fraternity hell week. A pledge slipped and fell in this pile of maggots. School of agriculture is in charge of campus landscaping, so security called me. (deadpans) You were the first person I thought of. Grissom: Well, thank you, Eva. I'm honored. (She smiles at him.) Grissom: You make your own mulch? Eva: The university is self-sustaining. A city within a city. State institutions are encouraged to practice xeriscaping. Grissom: "Xeri" meaning dry? Eva: Landscaping using drought-tolerant plant life. Conserves water. There's no reason for these maggots to be here. (Campus Security Officer #1, Brian, walks up to them carrying a cup.) Campus Security Officer Brian: Dr. Grissom, your tea. Hold the tea bag? Grissom: Thank you, Brian. (Grissom takes the cup and kneels down in front of the maggots. Eva kneels down with him.) Grissom: (to Eva) Do, uh ... do you use scraps from the dining halls for your compost? (Grissom takes some maggots as samples and puts it in the cup of hot water.) Eva: No. Why? Grissom: Well, if the devil requires a pound of flesh, this many maggots would require over a hundred. Eva: Pounds of flesh? (Grissom looks down at the maggots and sees something. Among the maggots, he finds a tooth. He picks it up and looks at it.) Grissom: Were you aware that the average college student weighs 135 pounds? (Eva and Grissom look at each other.) FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS - GROUNDS -- DAY] (Nick scoops some maggots out from the pile and puts them in a bucket. Both he and Grissom are gathering the maggots. Eva and Dean Wilson stand on the side and watch.) Dean Wilson: How long is this going to take? Eva: If something happened to one of our students, don't you want to know? Dean Wilson: Sure. (He looks around the campus where the crime scene has drawn a small crowd of students.) Dean Wilson: But on a campus this size, there's a thin line between satisfying curiosity and creating panic. (Grissom, who is listening in on the conversation, answers.) Grissom: This stopped being about my curiosity the minute we found a human tooth. We're now investigating a possible homicide. (Nick stops shoveling and takes out a single maggot. He leans over to Grissom and whispers something on his mind.) Nick: Hey, Grissom, why is it hot? Grissom: Maggot digestion can generate heat up to 125 degrees. Heat increases the rate of putrefaction, which speeds up the digestive process. (Nick nods.) Nick: I don't see any tissue. How long would it take for them to pick a body clean? Grissom: Assuming it's just one body? A few days. Nick: Yeah, and that's another thing. I have a hard time believing that if a corpse was here, no one saw it. And these bones? (Nick picks up one.) They're uniform. Same shape and size. Grissom: Yeah. (Grissom picks up something.) Same size as these wood chips. (They both come to the same conclusion.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESIDENCE -- BACKYARD -- DAY] (A mulching machine spews out mulch.) (Grissom walks around the pile of wood chips and up to the machine operator, Walter Beerly. The machine operator turns the machine off.) Grissom: This thing always this loud? Walter Beerly: Yeah, but we're, we're kind of off the beaten path. Grissom: You use it every day? Walter Beerly: Pretty much. (Grissom walks around and takes a look at the feeder part of the machine. He points to the small area between the gears.) Grissom: You think a human body could fit through there? Walter Beerly: You planning something? Grissom: Gil Grissom, Las Vegas Crime Lab. Walter Beerly: Walter Beerly, master of the universe. Six cylinders. 200 horse power. Thing's got an engine that would give most SUVs a run for their money. And it's got one job. Chopping crap up. Grissom: So the answer's yes. (Quick CGI POV: The mulching machine is on. A pair of hands move toward the gears. There's mulching sounds as the machine consumes the body, a large spurt of blood and flesh is spewed out of the other end of the machine -- all in neat, uniform size and shape little pieces.) (End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) Walter Beerly: Would take about fifteen seconds. Grissom: May I? Walter Beerly: You want to stick your head in there, be my guest. (Grissom leans in and sprays the inside of the feeder.) Walter Beerly: What are you looking for? Grissom: Blood. Walter Beerly: Oh, you're pretty much out of luck, 'cause I've been chipping all morning, and if there was any in there, it's probably gone. See, wood absorbs moisture. One of the reasons they use it for mulch. (Grissom stops and nods.) Grissom: Yeah. (Grissom leans in and takes a swab of the gears. He rubs it on the tester.) Walter Beerly: Pregnant? (Grissom shows him the results.) Grissom: It's human. (Walter Beerly looks at Grissom.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY] (Greg is in the middle of the lab. All around him, he's got containers of maggots. He's separating the maggots from the dirt and going through the dirt at the same time.) (Greg turns around and finds Nick standing on the other side of the table. Nick looks at his watch.) Nick: Remember, you're on the clock, man. About, uh, twenty-four hours ... all of these maggots turn into flies. Greg: I know. (Nick turns and leaves the lab. Greg continues to work. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Grissom is operating on a maggot when Mia Dickerson walks in. She puts her lab coat on. Grissom doesn't raise his head. She walks over to him to see what he's doing.) Mia Dickerson: What are you doing? Grissom: Day shift told me you didn't get any results off the tooth. (Grissom cuts the maggot open.) Mia Dickerson: Yeah, it was a porcelain crown. Root canal. No viable pulp. Grissom: I still need a DNA profile on our victim. Mia Dickerson: And since bone marrow extraction can be difficult ... Grissom: I figured I'd go straight to the source. (Grissom pulls out the maggot guts.) Mia Dickerson: Well, maggots are eating machines. They'll have DNA from the flesh. It's genius. (Grissom hands her the dish with the maggot guts inside.) Grissom: Thank you. Mia Dickerson: One maggot colada, coming up. (Mia leaves the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Greg continues to work on separating the maggots from the dirt. Catherine walks in from the hallway. He's working and counting in Spanish.) Catherine: What's with the tape? (Greg pulls down his mask.) Greg: The evidence wasn't cooperating, so I stuck it to them. Catherine: (under her breath) Cute. (Greg hears her anyway and smiles.) Catherine: Anything of interest? Greg: Well, I haven't had much time for analysis. So far the only inorganics are these black plastic shreds, from a garbage bag, I think, and ... this. (Greg hands Catherine a vial with something inside coated a bit with blue. Catherine opens it and looks at it.) Greg: Well, blue trace is tacky to the touch. Catherine: It's a fingernail. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Sara is in the lab working on the computer. Catherine walks in.) Catherine: Uh, sorry, Sara. I need the microscope. Priority. Sara: I got three more samples to run. When I'm finished, it'll be your turn. Catherine: This can't wait. Sara: It can't? Or you can't? (Sara looks at Catherine.) Catherine: Both. Go have a cup of coffee on me. (Sara stands up.) Sara: The coffee's free. Catherine: Thank you. (Catherine sits down as Sara leaves the lab.) (Catherine takes out the fingernail sample and puts it in the scope.) [ANALYSIS] (It reads: Case Number: 19879_c8 Sample: Fingernail with Unknown Blue Substance Component 1: Motor Oil Component 2: Blue Color Paint [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - DAY] (Catherine walks into the office.) Catherine: Oil-based blue paint mixed with motor oil ... (Catherine hands the analysis results to Grissom. He takes it and looks at it.) Grissom: He's back. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - CONFERENCE ROOM -- DAY] (Brass briefs the teams. He narrates as photos appear on the overhead wall of the victims. Catherine stands in the front.) Brass: Starting in 1987, a series of murders occurred on the WLVU campus. Three women: Janet Kent ... Marcia Reese ... and Charlene Roth. Now, Charlene Roth's murder provided us with enough evidence to investigate a suspect ... John Mathers, WLVU security guard. He was arrested, tried and convicted. Two years ago, this week, he was executed. The night of his execution, Debby Reston was murdered. Officer: Copycat, right? Catherine: No. We believe that Mathers was the copycat, responsible only for Charlene Roth's death. Brass: Which means the serial killer is still at large. Catherine: And we have reason to believe that he has killed again. Our suspect's M.O. is to apply blue paint to a campus railing ... INTERCUT WITH: [EXT. CRIME SCENE - DAY] (Cut to: Nick leans in close to look at a metal railing. He reaches out and touches the paint on the railing.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... that he has infused with motor oil to retard the drying process. CUT BACK TO: (On the overhead, there's a photo of the metal railing.) Catherine: He then lays in wait for a female victim to touch the railing. (Cut to: [WATER FOUNTAIN] Sarah examines the water fountain.) Catherine: (V.O.) It's always near a water fountain. He then grabs them from behind as they're washing the paint from their hands. (Catherine continues to brief the officers.) Catherine: Our suspect's prior victims were all sexually assaulted. No semen was found. Cause of death: Strangulation. Brass: He stuffed them in black plastic trash bags Quick flashback to: [Scene from 3X06: The Execution of Catherine Willows] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - LIBRARY -- NIGHT] (Catherine examines the body in the garbage bag dumped.) Brass: (V.O.) ... and dumps the bodies in plain sight. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Given that he has been killing for around twenty years, we approximate his age to be ... (Quick flash of: [UNIVERSITY CAMPUS] Slow motion. Camera lingers on men of Various types fitting that description walking on campus.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... at least thirty-five. He may wear glasses. He may drive a Chevy with black interior. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Officer 2: The latest victim was put in a wood chipper. Why the change in M.O.? Catherine: Serials have been known to change their signatures because they have to. Fear of being caught ... interruption ... or it could just be an act of escalation. [PHOTOS ON BOARD] (Camera slowly moves over the Past victim crime scene photos hanging on the boards.) Brass: (V.O.) So we're looking for a sadistic, ritualistic, organized sociopath. (Camera pulls back and we find Grissom standing in front of the photo board staring at the crime scenes.) Brass: (V.O.) We'll be on 12 and 12s. No holidays, no vacations until this is solved. (Camera holds on Grissom.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - FRONT SIDEWALK -- DAY] (Catherine is surrounded by reporters.) Reporter: Ms. Willows, can you confirm that the blue paint killer has claimed another victim? Catherine: I haven't been cleared for comment. Reporter: Ms. Willows, was John Mathers wrongfully convicted? (Quick flashback to: [Scene from 3X06: The Execution of Catherine Willows] [INT. LAS VEGAS PRISON - NIGHT] (John Mathers is strapped to the table. He turns his head and looks at Catherine sitting in the witness booth.) Reporter: (V.O.) Did the state execute an innocent man? (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: John Mathers killed Charlene Roth and was punished for it. (The reporters to shout out their questions.) Reporter: (shouts) You sure this isn't a copycat?! REPORTER: Well, how can you be so sure of that? (Catherine turns and walks away. The reporters continue to shout out their questions.) Reporter: Ms. Willows? REPORTER: Ms. Willows! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Mia Dickerson reports her findings to Grissom.) Mia Dickerson: I double-checked the results. The DNA from the maggots is male. Grissom: Any possible cross-contamination? Mia Dickerson: No, the samples were pure. (Grissom sighs and turns as he leaves the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Warrick walks through the hallway and catches Grissom coming out of the lab.) Warrick: Griss, this place is crawling with press. They want a statement. Grissom: Not now. Warrick: Well, if you don't say anything, they're just going to fill in the blanks ... Grissom: Screw the press, 'cause for all I know, the dead body is an auto mechanic who just painted his house blue. (Grissom walks down the hallway. Warrick watches him go, shakes his head and heads down the hallway in the other direction.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Greg is going through the dirt. He finds two halves of a gold-colored key.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OMEGA ZETA PI FRATERNITY HOUSE -- DAY] (Catherine holds up the little bag with the key inside showing it to the Frat Boy.) Catherine: What's this key used for? Frat Boy (#56): Um, pledging. Plebes are asked to swallow it on the first night of hell week. Nick: Then "retrieve" it and return it by the end of the week, right? Frat Boy (#56): You got it. Catherine: You know that hazing is illegal. You could lose your charter. Frat Boy (#56): Well, it's not hazing. It's a voluntary loyalty ritual. Catherine: Political science major? Frat Boy (#56): Pre-law. Catherine: Good. Maybe you can explain why the pledge who swallowed this key ended up dead. Frat Boy (#56): Wha-what're you talking about? Nick: Has anyone from omega zeta pi dropped out or gone missing? (He thinks about it. He stands up and goes to the whiteboard with the photos of the plebes on it.) Frat Boy (#56): Uh ... yeah, Jo-Jonathan Avery Haywood III. (He takes the photo down and hands it to Nick.) Frat Boy (#56): Johnny. Oh, kid was a shoe-in. Dad was a member. Granddad was a member. But we haven't seen Johnny since pledge week. Catherine: So, he's been missing for days, yet you didn't bother to call anyone? Frat Boy (#56): For all I knew he was getting laid. Look, I'm the fraternity president, not his mother. Nick: We're gonna need his toothbrush and his hairbrush. (Just then, two fraternity pledges are joking around as they pass by the door.) Plebes: Get off of me! Frat Boy (#56): (to the pledges) Button! (Immediately, the two pledges stop joking around, they raise their hands high up into the air and start chanting.) Plebes: I'm a loser. Plebes: I'm a loser. I'm a loser. (On one of the frat boy's hands, there's a blue paint stain. Camera zooms in for a close-up.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CAMPUS PATH -- NIGHT] (Grissom touches the paint on the walkway railing. He looks at the wet paint on the tip of his finger.) Grissom: Why didn't Nick find this before? Catherine: 'Cause he was working from a schematic the campus security gave him. The railing's not on it. (Catherine looks at the base of the railing. She kneels down and checks the cement on the ground.) Catherine: This cement is fresh. Grissom: So, now he's not just painting railings; he's installing them. We're going to need to dig this up, cement and all. (Catherine takes a photo of the railing cement. She stands up and looks around the area with Grissom. Near the railing is the water fountain off to the side.) (Near the water fountain is a bench. Under the bench is a garbage bag with something inside with blonde-hair.) (Grissom glances at Catherine.) (Grissom walks over to the bench.) Catherine: (o.s.) Call Brass. (Catherine follows Grissom. They kneel down next to the garbage bag. Catherine snaps a photo. He notes the blonde-hair near the garbage bag opening. Grissom slowly opens the bag.) (Inside is a blonde-haired dummy.) (Grissom looks at Catherine. He takes a deep breath.) Grissom: So, he knew we would find this. And now he's taunting us. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- NIGHT] (Grissom and Catherine are in the lab, both working on the garbage bagged dummy. Grissom cuts the bag off. They remove the blonde-haired sx dummy inside the bag. The dummy's hands are bound together.) (Catherine takes photos of the dummy.) INTERCUT WITH: [INT. CSI - GARAGE -- NIGHT] (Nick walks into the garage and looks at the railing from the university campus.) (He kneels down and takes photos of the railing.) (Cut to: Grissom cuts the plastic used to bind the dummy's hands together. We note that the dummy's hands are smudged with blue paint.) (Catherine takes a swab sample of the blue paint on the dummy's hands.) (Grissom takes a swab of the blow-up dummy's airhole.) (Cut to: Nick examines the paint on the railing. He finds a print.) (Cut to: Catherine finds a folded piece of paper stuffed in the dummy's mouth.) (On the paper is a strand of hair. The message reads: I HAVE HER (Grissom takes the hair.) Catherine: Two years ago, DNA confirmed a hair found on Debby Reston belonged to the serial's first victim, Janet Kent. Quick flashback to: [Scene from 3X06: The Execution of Catherine Willows] [EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS - LIBRARY - NIGHT] (Catherine takes some hair off of the dead girl's body.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Grissom looks at the hair.) Grissom: Planted hairs. It's part of his signature. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- NIGHT] (Grissom works on the note. He scans the note into the computer. He sprinkles black powder on the paper and a second image appears.) (It's a sketch of a woman bound, gagged and terrified.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- NIGHT] (Catherine, Grissom, Nick and Warrick are in the lab.) Catherine: Well, DNA confirmed that the hair found in the doll's mouth belonged to Debby Reston. (On the monitors is the drawn image of the woman.) Grissom: I tested the note with ESDA, because I saw some indentations in the paper. Warrick: He must've written "I have her" on the underlying page. Catherine: Prior evidence indicated that the suspect was an artist or had some connection to the university's art department. Nick: Serials typically photograph their crime scenes. If we're dealing with an artist here ... maybe he drew his victims instead. Warrick: Looks like she's in a small room. Grissom: What is that in the foreground? Warrick: Chair? Sofa? Catherine: What about behind her? Nick: Windows, maybe. Can we blow that up? (Catherine enhances the image.) Catherine: Some kind of signage? Grissom: And the lettering's backwards. (Warrick turns away.) Nick: Cramped space. Chairs in the foreground, but no other furniture. No shutters or curtains on the windows. Maybe it's not a room. Maybe it's a ... vehicle. Catherine: He was in the front seat, and he was looking at her through the rearview mirror. (Quick flashback of: [INT. CAR - NIGHT] The woman is tied up in the back seat as the kidnapper draws her.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: So, he can attack her, abduct her, rape her and strangle her, but he can't look directly at her? (Warrick sits at the workstation in the back as he shares his theory.) Warrick: Guys, those black trilobal fibers that we found on Debby Reston's body were from a Chevy. (He brings up a photo of the Chevy van on the monitors for the others to look at.) Warrick: And the size and shape of those windows are consistent with a Chevy van. (Nick looks at the lettering.) Nick: I recognize the signage. The Erotica Boutique on Tropicana. (They look at him.) It's distinctive ... the font ... [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PARKING -- NIGHT] (Sirens wail as officer cars converge on the Erotica Boutique's parking lot.) (They find the white van parked in the lot.) (Officers with their guns out approach the car. Brass leads the team to check the van out.) Brass: Okay, break it open. (Catherine steps out of the car as they pop the lock off the back van door.) (Inside, they find a dead body. By the smell, the body's been there a while.) (Catherine, Grissom and Nick look inside the van.) Grissom: So, this is where he brought them. Catherine: The pump was probably for the doll. Beer bottles ... tell Mia to check them for saliva, as well as other bodily fluids. Nick: You're thinking she was raped with a foreign object ... may be why we never found semen. Brass: The police presence on the campus probably interrupted his plans for her disposal. Catherine: I'll take the girl. Nick: (nods) I'll take the van. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EROTICA BOUTIQUE - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Grissom walks into the store. He looks around. He finds the sx doll display. He picks up one and looks at it. The seemingly bored clerk behind the counter comments.) Clerk: Huh. I would've picked you for a leather guy. Grissom: Has anyone, uh, bought one of these coed cheerleader dolls in the last few days? Clerk: Most popular models are the latex love-'em-or-leave-'em cheapies for bachelor parties. But in the midrange, Chrissy's not a bad choice. Grissom: Well, I'm more interested in the clientele than the merchandise. (Grissom walks over to the clerk. The Clerk puts his newspaper down.) Clerk: Oh. Grissom: I'd like to take a look at your credit card receipts. (The clerk scoffs and looks down at the sign: CASH ONLY PERVERT!!!) Grissom: Surveillance? Clerk: Bad for business. (Next to the counter is a magazine rack. Grissom looks turns the rack display and finds the comic book HOT BLOODED with a drawn picture of a woman bound and terrified.) (He picks up the magazine and shows it to the clerk.) Grissom: You know this artist? (The Clerk looks at the magazine.) Clerk: Yeah, that is "Zippy Tee." Grissom: You have an address for him? Clerk: Dude, I don't know where he lives. Grissom: How do you pay him? Clerk: (scoffs) It's not the Louvre. It's the love boutique. Local guys get store credit. Grissom: Has he ever traded for ... a doll? Clerk: (nods) Yeah. Grissom: Can you describe him for me? Clerk: White guy. Brown hair. Little shorter than you. 40, maybe 45 ... Clerk: (both) Average looking. GRISSOM: (both) Average looking. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORESNIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT] (Robbins goes over the report with Catherine.) Robbins: This all looks eerily familiar. Blue paint on the hand. Physical signs of sexual assault. Ligature marks around the neck. Catherine: Prints turn up anything? Robbins: She's still a Jane Doe. Catherine: Height and weight? Robbins: Five-eight. 131 pounds. Catherine: Can you take down her hair? Robbins: Sure. (Robbins untucks the body's hair and drapes it around her shoulders.) Robbins: Pretty. (Catherine looks at the body, then walks over to the computer where she pulls up information about the missing plebe.) Catherine: Pretty boy. Robbins: Definite similarity. Catherine: None of the other victims looked alike. Robbins: So, why these two? Catherine: Maybe he was a mistake. Robbins: Mistaken for a girl? (Quick flashes of: The girl with long, blonde-hair walks down the path near the railing.) (Flash to: Johnny, the boy with long, blonde-hair, walks down the path near the railing. He touches the railing and gets paint on his hand.) Catherine: (V.O.) But not just any girl. (beat) This girl. (Flash to: The girl touches the failing and gets paint on her hand.) (Flash to: The girl goes to the water fountain.) (Flash to: The boy reaches for the water fountain.) (As the girl washes her hand, someone moves in the bushes near her, watching her.) (Someone hits the boy over the back of the head as he washes his hands.) (End of flashes. Resume to present.) Catherine: We thought he selected his victims at random. He didn't. He chose her. He hunted her ... and trapped her. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Catherine interviews Mandy Cooper.) Mandy Cooper: The TV said you were looking for information on Kaitlin Rackish. (On the table is a photo of Mandy and Kaitlin in bikinis.) Catherine: When was the last time you saw Kaitlin? Mandy Cooper: Monday, but I've been pledging, so I haven't slept in the dorm the last couple nights. I just thought I kept missing her. Catherine: Can you tell me what the two of you did on Monday? All the details. Mandy Cooper: We went to the gym. Showered. Went to the dining hall. Monday's mac-n-cheese day. It's Katy's favorite. We picked up our orders at the campus copy union -- term papers. We bought sodas at the bookstore. We went to the library to study. A couple guys from Zeta Beta Theta were at the same table, so we didn't get that much done. Then she left for her 7:00 class. Catherine: What class is that? Mandy Cooper: Monday's, um ... "Introduction to the Female Form" with Professor Lewis. Catherine: Cody Lewis? Mandy Cooper: He got me interested in art. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Brass interviews Cody Lewis who is studying the magazine cover procured from The Erotica Boutique.) Brass: "Introduction to the female form"? Well, that's deep. That's really deep. I bet that brings in all the 17-year-old pre-feminists. Cody Lewis: This isn't mine. Technique isn't bad, but it's raw. This person hasn't had any formal training at all. Brass: Well, maybe it's your alter ego. You know, your bad-boy side; the Mr. Hyde thing. Cody Lewis: You know, I came in voluntarily. You see, I want to help you. But this is borderlining on harassment. Brass: Look, I'm trying to tie together some loose ends, so help me out, all right? I appreciate your help. I do. You got rid of your Chevy van. You got yourself a wife. Does she know you dated the first victim? Your return to the campus coincided with the murder of the fourth victim? And Kaitlin Rackish was in your evening classes? You see what I got? Cody Lewis: No, I don't. Brass: Your Buddy Mathers didn't talk much, either, and look what happened to him. He's at the wrong end of a cold needle. Cody Lewis: You know what it's like to be told you lead the life and fit the profile of a serial killer? Brass: No. I wouldn't have a clue. Cody Lewis: You see, you make all these assumptions, and you're not asking questions here. You're attacking me to see how I react to what you say. Nothing I say is going to make a difference with you. So what's the point? Brass: Why don't you just confess? Cody Lewis: That's my point. I didn't do it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE -- DAY] (Nick and Greg examine the white Chevy van. Greg snaps a photo of the contents in the armrest storage. He takes out a parking pass. WESTERN LAS VEGAS UNIVERSITY PARKING PERMIT FALL 1986 NO. 07865 Greg: WLVU parking pass. Connection to the campus. 1986. This guy's been doing this a long time. (Nick picks up a broken pair of glasses.) Nick: Two years ago, Debby Reston broke her killer's glasses. (Quick flashback to: [From 3X06] [NIGHT] As Debby Reston fights her attacker, she grabs his glasses and smashes them against the tree. They break.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: They were 20/80. Greg: I'll run 'em. See if they're the same. (Nick checks the van's VIN number.) Nick: VIN's been obliterated. You better go ahead and run that parking pass. (Nick checks the NEVADA license plates: 519 RZD (The Silver State). Registration sticker is for 11/2003.) Nick: Plate's expired. Registration sticker's a phoney. Greg: How do you know? Nick: Check out the serial number (Greg looks at the registration sticker.) Greg: (to himself) "0-0-0-0..." (louder) Yeah, got it. Homemade. (Greg climbs into the back of the van to look around while Nick removes the license plate. Under the carpet, Greg finds some black powder.) Greg: Hey, did you spill print powder in the back the van? Nick: No. No, I superglued. Why? Greg: May have found something. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB -- NIGHT] (Sara walks into the lab while Jacqui's working.) Sara: Anything from the prints off the van? Jacqui Franco: Prints from the dash and the rearview mirror were a match to the partial that we got off the trash bag Debby Reston was found in two years ago. Same guy, but still no hits from AFIS. (Jacqui finds a print off the plastic binding from the comic book.) Sara: Are the x-rated comic books ready? Jacqui Franco: Nothing comical about them. Look at this. Double-D cups, tiny waists, bondage. Dehumanization. (The frame reads: DON'T WORRY ... IT WILL BE A "GOOD" HURT ... ) Jacqui Franco: I'm all for visual stimulation, but these images are about domination, not sx. (Sara looks at the frame of the woman crying.) Sara: This artist gets off on dominating women. This is his sx. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB ] (Warrick and Catherine go over finding the commonality between the victims. They have all the photos spread out in front of them.) Warrick: Janet and Marcia both lived in Dakin Hall. Charlene and Debby took Econ 101. Marcia and Charlene took English Lit. Janet, Debby and Kaitlin all ate at MacGraw dining hall. Catherine: Janet dated Cody Lewis. Kaitlin took his art class. All right, so, uh, there's not one single thing that all five women have in common. Warrick: Right. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE] (Grissom puts his gloves on as he walks up to the van. He opens the driver's door and climbs inside and sits behind the driver's wheel.) (Grissom looks around. He reaches out and adjusts the rear view mirror.) CUE SOUNDS: WOMAN'S MUFFLED GROANS (Grissom adjusts the mirror and visualizes seeing a victim tied up in the back seat through the mirror's reflection.) (Quick flashes of: [INT. VAN] The woman tied up struggles, her cries muffled. Various flashes of various victims.) (End of flashes. Resume to present.) (Grissom continues to stare at the mirror.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB] (Sara studies the comic book pages frame by frame. On her notes, she writes: YOUNG CAUCASIAN Her notes on the Components for a Serial Sexual Aggressor read: Case Number: 04-11-0* Date: 11-4-04 PARAPHELIC RAPE WITH FOREIGN OBJECT DEMOGRAPHIC YOUNG, CAUCASIAN, LONG HAIRED SITUATIONAL SMALL, TEMPORARY, MOBILE SPILLS RELATIONAL REAR BASED, DEPERSONALIZED SELF PERCEPTION DOMINANT, DISASSOCIATIVE (Sara studies the comic pages.) (The man in the drawing is threatening the woman.) (CU: FEAR BASED) (The woman in the drawing cries, her face shut from fear.) (CU: DOMINANT,) (The woman in the drawing is walking along the street, half-naked and beaten.) (CU: DISASSOCIATIVE,) (Sara continues to work.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (Nick reports his findings to Grissom.) Nick: Dead plates. Tampered VIN. Registration stickers are counterfeit. The killer did a good job, though. He used the right color, changed them every year, but no serial numbers. Grissom: So, we still don't know who owns the van. Nick: Well, Greg did find this in the glove box. (He hands the parking permit to Grissom.) It's from 1986. So I called school administration. It's parking spot 324. Not a student, but an employee executed two years ago. (Nick takes the parking permit back from Grissom.) Grissom: John Mathers? Nick: Yep. Ran Mathers through the DMV. The partial VIN Number on our van's a match. (They stop walking.) Grissom: So, our killer was driving around in Mathers' old van. Nick: I don't think these two guys are an original and a copycat. (Grissom stares at Nick.) Nick: They were partners. (Grissom looks stunned.) [SCENE_BREAK] [VIDEO RECORDING] (John Mathers is being interviewed.) John Mathers: (from video) I don't deserve to die. You think killing me will solve anything? [INT. CSI - LAB] (Nick is going over the video when Catherine walks in.) John Mathers: (from video) I've prepared myself, but I'm not ready. Catherine: This the John Mathers interview? Nick: Week before he was executed. Journalist: (from video) Charlene Roth's mother testified at the allocution that your death would mean her closure. John Mathers: (from video) Not if you kill the wrong man. Journalist: (from video) Forensic evidence testified to at your trial says that you're guilty. John Mathers: (from video) Forensic evidence changes all the time. One day I'm innocent, the next day I'm not. Catherine: Is there anything in his prison file? Nick: All those years on death row he only had one visitor, his lawyer. Although he did receive a far amount of letters from random women ... if he was in communication with his partner, nothing in the file shows it. Journalist: (from video) You've been in prison for fifteen years. During that time the murders stopped. John Mathers: (from video) What does that prove? The real killer's smart. (Grissom walks into the room. Sara follows.) John Mathers: (from video) Watches the news, he reads the papers just like you. I'm ... man, I'm the perfect patsy. Journalist: (from video) So you maintain your innocence? John Mathers: (from video) Absolutely. I worked campus security. I'm not the smartest or the richest guy, but do I look like I had problems with women? I'm not the killer. Remember that when I'm gone. Sara: Well, the prints on the comb bindings from the comic books are a match to the prints recovered from the van and the garbage bag that Debby Reston was in. (Sara hands the bagged comic to Catherine.) Grissom: Did you analyze the comics? (Sara sits down.) Sara: Yeah, and the drawings indicate a dominant, disassociative sexual sadist. Nick: Prison shrink diagnosed Mathers as a psychopath with a dependent personality disorder. Sara: Which means he was pre-disposed to violent crimes but he might have needed some encouragement. Grissom: Well, to invite someone to join you for torture and murder would require a great deal of trust. You would only do it if you knew you could completely control your partner. Catherine: Mathers was the submissive. His partner is the alpha male. Grissom: Sexual sadism can go hand in hand with sexual dysfunction. Mathers said that he wasn't the killer, but we confirmed that he had s*x with Charlene Roth, based on the fact that we found his pubic hairs on her body. Catherine: Mia was looking for saliva on the beer bottles from the van and found a vaginal contribution on the neck of one of them. Nick: Maybe Mathers was this guy's surrogate pen1s. Catherine: Question. The partner kills on the eve of Mathers' execution, and again this week, on the second anniversary. (Shakes her head.) Why the no-show last year? Grissom: Maybe life got in the way. (Hodges walks into the room with the test results.) David Hodges: Nick, that black powder from the back of the van is ink. A toner made exclusively for commercial copy machines. OCE 3600. Nick: Okay. Thanks, Hodges. (Hodges leaves. Catherine looks at the test results.) Catherine: The most recent victim went to the campus copy union with her roommate on the day she disappeared. Janet Kent's ... (Catherine digs through the photos looking for something specific. She finds it.) Catherine: ... pocket contents -- a receipt from WLVU Copy Union. On Debby Reston's backseat ... (She finds another photo of a couple of STUDENT HANDBOOKS.) ... catalogs with comb bindings. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - FRONT STEPS - NIGHT] (Sirens blip as police cars stop in front of the university stairs. Brass exits the car and runs to meet up with a couple of Campus Security Guards.) Brass: Who'd you find? Campus Security Officer 2: Kevin Greer. Works at the copy union. Only employee who's been there over ten years; since 1983. Brass: Fits our profile. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COPY UNION - NIGHT] (Brass walks out of the Copy Union with the Worker following him.) Brass: Where's Kevin Greer? Copy Center Worker: He just left. He works till eight. Brass: Time for evening classes to let out. Copy Center Worker: What's going on? Brass: Look, we'd like to talk to Kevin Greer. You have any idea where he is? Copy Center Worker: No. We don't hang out. Brass: How many people work here? Copy Center Worker: Just me. Brass: Okay, we need to look around. Copy Center Worker: Okay. (Brass steps away as Catherine finishes putting her gloves on. She looks into the trash and finds some black toner powder.) Catherine: Black plastic trash bags with toner powder. (She looks over at the Copy Center Worker.) Catherine: Excuse me. Does Kevin Greer use this machine for any of his personal projects? Copy Center Worker: Yeah. He binds his comic books. (Catherine looks at Brass. They both leave.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. GREER RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (LVPD surround the small residence. Brass runs up to the front door with a couple of other officers. He crouches down.) Brass: Kevin Greer, Las Vegas police! (to the officer) Hit it. (The Officer batter-rams the door.) Officer: Let's go! (The officers and Brass enter the residence.) Voice: (o.s.) Clear! (Brass slowly makes his way down the hallway. The officers rush through the rooms clearing it.) Voice: (o.s.) All clear. (Brass continues to walk cautiously through the hallway.) Voice: (o.s.) Check that noise! VOICE: (o.s.) Clear. VOICE: (o.s.) Clear. VOICE: (o.s.) Got it. Clear. (At the far end of the hallway, there's a loud rattling machine mixing something. He looks at it. Grissom and Catherine step into the room.) (Catherine walks up to the machine. Brass turns it off. The room is extremely silent.) Catherine: A paint mixer. Grissom: WLVU blue. Catherine: So he mixed his own paint so we couldn't trace the origin of his purchase. (The phone rings. The answering machine clicks on.) Kevin Greer: (from machine) Las Vegas's finest. Nice job. Impressive turnout. Have a look around. I'll be here at the station waiting for you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (Kevin Greer sits at the interview table with a stack of papers in his hands. He turns around and smiles as Brass and Grissom walk into the room.) Kevin Greer: Gil, Jim. (He smiles at them as they sit down across from him.) Kevin Greer: Yeah, my rule was: If you made it to my house, you deserved to meet me. I mean, how much time did you guys spend picturing the size of my hands? Huh. (He shows them.) Not very big. You don't need big hands, though, not the way I do it. Just ... just a little at a time. (He looks at Grissom.) Grissom: Take life, give it back. God-like. Kevin Greer: God-like? No. But there must be something angelic in the way I look, because even on their last breath, they didn't think I'd actually do it. (He continues to draw as he talks.) Am I disappointing you guys? I mean, are you looking at me, wishing I was ... scarier? Grissom: No. (Grissom takes his glasses off.) Grissom: I was, uh, wondering what happened to your glasses. Kevin Greer: Stupid lasik. It's what got me caught. Grissom: Is it? Kevin Greer: When that Debby bitch busted my glasses ... (Quick flashback to: [EXT. - NIGHT] Debby Reston grabs his glasses and breaks them as she struggles. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Kevin Greer: I decided they were a liability. But the procedure didn't take. Grissom: Is that why you missed last year's anniversary? (He looks at Grissom.) Kevin Greer: (chuckles) And my night vision still sucks. Grissom: Johnny? Kevin Greer: I don't want to talk about him. Grissom: Well, you, uh, kept him for several days before you chopped him up. Brass: Were you having a good time? (Kevin looks at Brass and Grissom.) Kevin Greer: I'm not into boys. INTERCUT WITH: [INT. GREER RESIDENCE - NIGHT] (Catherine opens the large freezer up.) Kevin Greer: (o.s.) Kid was in my freezer. (They look inside. Sara snaps a couple of photos. She gasps.) (Taped against the side of the freezer are locks of hair in a plastic bag along with a comic caricature of the frightened woman.) KAITLIN RACKISH DEBBY RESTON MARCIA REESE (Catherine snaps photos of the baggies. Sara looks at the locks of hair.) BRIT MOSSCOE (Catherine puts her camera down.) Catherine: Wait a minute. (She counts them.) Catherine: (softly) One, two, three, four, five, six. (louder) There are six here. (She looks back at Sara.) Catherine: We only know of five. (She reaches inside and takes out the sixth baggie: BRIT MOSSCOE.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] Grissom: Tell us about Charlene Roth. Kevin Greer: You had to bring her up. You know, I tried to talk him out of it, but, uh, J.M wouldn't ... Brass: John Mathers. Kevin Greer: Yeah. He had something to prove. See, he didn't understand that we were better together than we would ever be apart. (He goes back to the drawing.) He needed me. Brass: Soul mates. Kevin Greer: Contrary to popular belief, even people like us have souls. I spent fifteen years looking for a solid replacement, but you only get that lucky once in a lifetime. Grissom: You miss him. Kevin Greer: I created him. Brass: But you let him take the fall. Kevin Greer: He got caught. That's the price you pay for incompetence. Brass: Death. Kevin Greer: That's what you deserve when you make a mistake. (He looks at Grissom.) (There's a knock at the door.) (Kevin Green glances behind him.) [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY OUTSIDE INTERVIEW ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Grissom stands up and steps outside.) (Catherine hands him a slip of paper.) Catherine: There's a sixth victim. A Brit or Brittany Mosscoe. Her name was on a ziploc bag in Greer's freezer. It contained a lock of hair. Sara's looking into Missing Persons. And Mia's running it through DNA. Grissom: Thanks. (Grissom heads back into the interview room.) [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - NIGHT] (Grissom sits down.) Grissom: Where is, uh ... Brit Mosscoe? (Kevin Greer looks at Grissom and Brass. He smiles.) Kevin Greer: There's a lot of fight in her. Grissom: Is she old or new? (Kevin Greer continues to draw. He finishes and stops. He looks at them.) Kevin Greer: I'll take you to her. (to Brass) Oh, we'll need a full tank of gas. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GREER RESIDENCE - NIGHT] (Sara is back at the residence. On the freezer cover, she has all the baggies and locks of hair spread out with their corresponding drawings placed under them.) (Camera moves over the drawings and bags of hair.) JANET KENT KAITLIN RACKISH BRIT MOSSCOE (Sara's phone rings. She answers it.) Sara: (to phone) Hello. Yeah, I'm trying to confirm that you have no record of a Brit Mosscoe attending WLVU in the last eighteen years. (pause) What about a night student? (pause) Okay, thanks. (Sara hangs up.) (She picks up the drawing of Brit Mosscoe and looks at it.) (Sara looks around the room and she notices a calendar pinned up on the wall. The picture of the woman in the calendar looks like the woman in the drawing.) (Sara removes the calendar from the wall and compares it to the drawing.) (It's the same woman.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY OUTSIDE INTERVIEW ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Brass, Grissom and a couple of officers escort Kevin Greer through the hallway.) Kevin Greer: Hey, uh, can I go to the bathroom before we go? (They stop. Brass turns around and looks at Kevin Greer.) Brass: Yeah, okay. (The two officers escort Kevin to the restroom.) Brass: Bobbie, pat him down. (The officers pat Kevin Greer down looking for weapons. He takes his pencil away from him.) (They step into the bathroom.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BATHROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (The officer checks the bathroom stalls.) (Finding them clear, the officers allow Kevin into the stall. They close the door behind him.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GREER RESIDENCE - NIGHT] (Back at the house, Sara realizes that BRIT MOSSCOE is an anagram for MISS OCTOBER.) (She calls Catherine.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Catherine steps out of the room and into the hallway where Brass and Grissom are waiting for Kevin Greer to return from the bathroom.) Catherine: (to phone) Slow down. Okay ... okay. I got it. (She hangs up.) Catherine: The sixth victim is a ruse. He drew her off a calendar. Brit Mosscoe is an anagram for Miss October. Grissom: So where's he taking us? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BATHROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Brass opens the bathroom door and steps inside.) Brass: Mr. Greer, let's go. Come on. (He turns inside and finds the two officers just outside the stalls. Grissom follows him.) Brass: Mr. Greer? Where is he, in there? (An officer points to the stall. Brass: Come on, Mr. Greer, let's go! (Brass opens the stall door. Grissom sees the garbage bag over Kevin Greer's face.) Brass: Damn it! (Brass and Grissom step inside and rip the garbage bag off of Kevin Greer's face.) (Grissom pulls Kevin Greer out of the stall and onto the bathroom floor.) Brass: Get a paramedic! (Grissom starts to do heart compressions on Kevin Greer. Catherine steps into the restroom.) Brass: Get an EMT in here! (There's no response. Grissom continues to do compressions. Still, there's no response. Grissom stops.) (Brass shakes his head.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (The view is fuzzy as Grissom steps out of the bathroom and into the hallway. He stops in front of the interview room.) (He looks inside and sees something.) [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (On the interview table is the sketch pad Kevin Greer was drawing on when they questioned him. Grissom takes his glasses out and looks at the drawing.) (It's of Grissom with various images of himself - tortured, scared and terrified - as seen through the reflection of Grissom's glasses.) (Smaller images of the victims, tied up and terrified is in the sketch.) (As Grissom looks at the pictures, we hear the sounds of the victims' cries in the background.) (Grissom tri-foldover's the sketch into a larger picture of Grissom.) (In the image reflected off the glasses is a man with final words coming out of his mouth: GOOD BYE) (Camera holds on Grissom.) FADE TO BLACK	Plan: A: a chopped up body; Q: What do the team investigate in the university grounds? A: the team; Q: Who finds out that the Blue Paint Killer is back? A: the "Blue Paint Killer; Q: Who is the team dealing with? A: The case; Q: What gets confusing when the team discovers that the victim was male? A: a female; Q: What gender was the body of the next victim? A: the killer; Q: Who is the Blue Paint Killer? Summary: While investigating a chopped up body in the university grounds, the team finds out that they're dealing with the "Blue Paint Killer" again. The case gets confusing when the team discovers that the victim was male. Shortly after that they find another body, that of a female. Can they stop the killer before he kills again?
"The Woman in Limbo" [SCENE_BREAK] ACT I (Open - Medico-Legal lab - Booth is trying to get Brennan out of the lab, and everyone keeps stopping her) GOODMAN: All I ask is that you stop by the archeology section and identify the skull as a Syrian, Hetite or Egyptian BRENNAN: I'm in court today. I need my notes. GOODMAN: Well, there's a photocopy in the file BRENNAN: No. The last time I read from photocopies, the defense lawyer told the jury I was winging it. BOOTH: Ready? (claps hands) Chop, chop. BRENNAN: I can't find my original notes... BOOTH: Photocopy in the file. BRENNAN: No. The last time the defense lawyer told the jury that I... BOOTH: (cutting her off) It was a ploy. It failed. Let's go. HODGINS: I found glass. I found pollen. Which do you want first? BRENNAN: Pollen. GOODMAN: Perhaps you could swing by archeology on your way to your ah..court.. BOOTH: No. No swinging. ANGELA: Alright. Her height makes no sense and her spine length is..wacky. ZACK: Dr. Brennan? BRENNAN: Okay. Calculate the height off the femur and assume that fire shrunk her spine. BOOTH: I don't think you should talk about other cases so much on court day. You might get confused. GOODMAN: One simple question. A Syrian, Hetite or Egyptian? ZACK: Dr. Brennan? GOODMAN: 5 Minutes. BOOTH: Bones! BRENNAN: (to Zack) What's up? ZACK: Buttercup. If you sign off on these tissues markers, Angela can finish the facial reconstruction. BRENNAN: Why did you say buttercup"? ZACK: What's up, buttercup is an amusing, rhyming, linguistic meme. This (points to skull) is the latest Jane Doe from Limbo. BOOTH: How 'bout this for an amusing, rhyming linguini. See ya later, alligator. GOODMAN: Please don't refer to bones storage as "Limbo". (turns to Brennan) 5 minutes. ZACK: There are thousands of human remains down there waiting to be identified. Limbo seems an appropriate name. BRENNAN: No sign of foul play. GOODMAN: If you have time for this, you have time for my Hetite. BRENNAN: Tissue depth of the cheekbones and along the jaw line looks a little deep to me, but otherwise-- BOOTH: ..out of limbo, back on earth and on our way to court. Thanks. (Booth guides Brennan off the platform and into the hallway where they run into DAVID SIMMONS, Brennan's Boyfriend) DAVID: Oh, Temperance. Hi. BRENNAN: David! (she kisses him on the cheek) What are you doing here? BOOTH: She has to get to court so - DAVID: Agent Booth. Nice to see you again. Especially when I'm not in custody. Listen, I read your manuscript. I couldn't wait to tell you how great it is. BRENNAN: Thank you. Really? BOOTH: You read her manuscript? BONES: Uh, uh, uh..(takes manuscript away from Booth) DAVID: Her second novel. Bone Free. It's kinda like "Born Free" except no lions. BOOTH: Yuck on the title. Am I in it? (At the same time) BRENNAN: No! DAVID: Definiately. BOOTH: Ah! BRENNAN: Uh, we have to get to court - - DAVID: Hope you remembered your original notes, because last time.... BRENNAN: Told you, Booth! BOOTH: No. Bones. We don't have time! Our - all right, listen. Uh, Three minutes. I'll wait for you in the car. (David and Booth circle each other like two lions in the jungle) BOOTH: (laughs) So are you two, uh - DAVID: Yeah, sort of. Is that a problem? BOOTH: Yeah. Bones is very literal. So in the future, no jokey advice on a court day. DAVID: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Brennan inside the lab heading to her office. She pauses when she sees the image of a woman on the Angelator) GOODMAN: Is something wrong? BRENNAN: (to Angela) What's this? ANGELA: Zack's Jane Doe. He said that you okay'd the tissue markers BRENNAN: No, that can't be right. That can't possibly be right. You did it wrong. It's a mistake, Angela. ANGELA: Alright, fine. Sweetie. I'll turn it off. (Brennan turns and runs out of the room) BRENNAN: Zack. The artifact bag from your Jane Doe - do you have it? (Brennan runs onto the platform without swiping her card, the alarms start blarring) ZACK: Yes. I also have three - (Brennan runs off with the bag) SECURITY GUARD: (into to walkie talkie) It was Dr. Brennan. ZACK: ..Three bags of soil samples from where the remains were buried. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Brennan going into to her office to examine the contents of the bag. First she pulls out a bag containing a marble - but then focuses more closely on another bag containing a dolphin belt buckle - she flashes back to a woman wearing that very same belt buckle and starts to break down) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to:Booth entering the Angelator Room) BOOTH: Any of you see Bones? We're due in court, like -hello--Now. (Angela, Zack and Goodman are all standing around the Angelator with confusion on their faces. They look at Booth.) BOOTH: What? ANGELA: This.. (she brings up the image of the woman) totally freaked her out. (Booth picks up his phone and dials) ZACK: My theory. Caffeine intolerance. BOOTH: Yeah. You're gonna want to take Dr. Brennan off the witness list today. No. She can't make it into court. Thanks. ANGELA: Alright. What's going on. BOOTH: That... Is Christine Brennan. GOODMAN: Good God. BOOTH: You just found Bones's mother. [SCENE_BREAK] (cut to opening credits) [SCENE_BREAK] ACT II (Brennan sits in her office staring at the belt buckle. Booth approaches the doorway.) BRENNAN: I have to miss court. BOOTH: I know. BRENNAN: I remember this belt buckle. I borrowed it without asking first day of high school. My father had it specially made for my mother because she loved dolphins. BOOTH: Bones...I'm sorry. BRENNAN: I always knew that for my parents to disappear like that (flash back to her parents in a car waving goodbye) They - They had to be dead. I thought that when it was confirmed, I'd feel relief, but- BOOTH: It's still bad news. (Zack appears in the doorway) BRENNAN: You have the file, Zack? ZACK: Jane Doe, Number 129-0998. BRENNAN: Where was she found? BOOTH: Bones, I- BRENNAN: What does it say? ZACK: (reading from file) "In September of 1998, a grave-digging crew at the Sunset Memory Cemetery in Salisbury, Pennsylvania, uncovered human remains in a completely advanced stage of decomposition." BOOTH: Is it from a grave? ZACK: No. It appears that somebody just dug a hole at the edge of the cemetery and...plopped the body in there. BOOTH: Zack.... ZACK: Sorry. (goes back to reading the file) "The local coroner found no obvious evidence of foul play and sent the remains, a few artifacts and soil samples to the Jeffersonian, hoping we could identify her. Technically, you mother's been at the Jeffersonian as long as you have. (Brennan is visibly shaken) BOOTH: Zack. ZACK: Sorry. But they both got here in 1998. (Goodman enters) GOODMAN: Dr. Brennan. Miss Montenegro has volunteered to drive you home. BOOTH: Temperance. Go home. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Overview of Washington D.C) (Cut to: Brennan sitting at her dining room table looking at old pictures and reminiscing - until she's interrupted by a knocking at the door. She opens it to find Booth, with food from Wong Foo's in hand) BRENNAN: It's after midnight... BOOTH: Well, I was driving by, I saw that lights. I thought you might like some Wong Foo's. BRENNAN: You saw my lights from the road? BOOTH: That is correct. (Brennan can tell he is lying - and she lets him in) All right! (Cut to: Booth and Brennan eating at the table) BOOTH: After you gave me your parents' missing persons file, I did some poking around. BRENNAN: You worked on it? BOOTH: Well, there wasn't much I could do. There was no evidence, no clear jurisdiction. (Booth sighs) Listen, Bones. Finding your mother's remains means that I can open an official F.B.I. case. I mean for the first time, a real investigation can occur. (Brennan flashes back to her parents in the car waving goodbye, again) BRENNAN: Three days after my parents disappeared, they found our car at a rest stop a thousand miles from where we lived in Chicago. BOOTH: Yeah. I found it in a Federal impound lot in Jersey. I'm having it trucked to the Jeffersonian. BRENNAN: They kept it all those years? BOOTH: Well, nobody claimed it.. (looks at file) Your father was a high school science teacher. He had no trouble with anyone at work. And then your mother - That's a different matter. BRENNAN: She was a bookkeeper. BOOTH: MMM, she was a witness for the prosecution. Twice.On evasion charges. That gives motive. Then there's uh, your brother. BRENNEN: Russ - The brother who deserted me. BOOTH: He's on parole. He ran a chop shop processing stolen cars for parts. BRENNAN: Figures. BOOTH: He says that you blame him for your parents' disappearance? BRENNAN: You talked to Russ? BOOTH: I called him. Just asked him a few routine questions. He didn't give me much. We're gonna find out what happened to your mom. Okay? [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab) HODGINS: Adipocere and decomp residues in the bagged soil, indicate the body was buried at least five years. ZACK: That's congruent with , uh, P.H. in the soil, climate and degree of decomp BRENNAN: No. Seven years. It should be seven years. HODGINS: I'm still going through the soil samples, but something in there might allow me to be more specific. BRENNAN: She was buried near Christmas 1991. (Booth enters) BOOTH: I need the room, guys. ZACK: The whole lab? For what? HODGINS: It's a cop way of saying, "Get lost." BRENNAN: What? BOOTH: When you first gave me the file on your parents, I..I looked back into their lives three to four years before they disappeared. Jobs, friends. BRENNAN: Okay... BOOTH: I looked back a little further and I found that...Christine Brennan didn't exist before 1978. BRENNAN: What are you telling me? That - That this woman isn't my mother? I was born in 1976. Obviously, my mother existed. BOOTH: Do you know the most common way of creating an identity? BRENNAN: Getting the birth certificate of someone deceased who was born the same year you were...and take over that identity. BOOTH: I found a one, Matthew Brennan. Born and died, in 1948 (Brennan looks at Booth in disbelief) BOOTH: Do you understand? BRENNAN: I don't know what it means. I don't know what any of it means. BOOTH: It means your parents weren't who you thought they were. It means that they were living under...assumed identities. (Brennan sighs) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: At a town carnival in Moorehead City, North Carolina - which is where RUSS BRENNAN is working) CARNIVAL OWNER: Every minute this is down, I'm losing money RUSS; want faster work, grab yourself a cup of coffee. Let me alone, man. BOOTH: You licensed for this job? RUSS: You're a cop. BOOTH: You know who recognizes cops? RUSS: Other cops. BOOTH: ..and crooks. I talked to you a couple of months ago on the phone. I'm Booth. RUSS: You gonna ask me some more questions about my childhood? (Booth holds up the picture of Christine Brennan that was rendered from the Angelator - Russ takes it and looks at it) RUSS: You found my mother? BOOTH: Your sister did the I.D. RUSS: What about dad? BOOTH: No. RUSS: What do you want? BOOTH: Do you remember being anyone else besides uh....Russ Brennan? RUSS: No. BOOTH: You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Russ? RUSS: Cops always think I'm lying. BOOTH: (laughs) I want you to come back to D.C. and help out in this investigation. RUSS: I got a job, man. BOOTH: You know, the alternative is I just cite you for performing unlicensed repairs on heavy equipment, get your parole revoked. Tell you what? You give me a call when you get into town. (Booth sticks his business card in the railing) Oh, and if you ask me, this -this thing here-(in regards to the ride) is beyond hope. (Russ starts up the ride) Look at that. It works. I'll see you soon. (Russ takes Booth's business card out from the railing and looks as Booth walks away) [SCENE_BREAK] Act III (Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab) ANGELA: What is it? HODGINS: A clump of cellulose. It came from soil samples collected at Brennan's mom's burial site from the same depth as her bones. ANGELA: You said you had a giant problem. HODGINS: I used the laser scanning confocal microscope. ANGELA: Which one is that? HODGINS: It looks like an espresso machine. Now it showed that this is mass-produced cardboard. Now electron dispersion spectroscopy indicates that the cardboard is coded with ethylenically unsaturated monomers, which kept it from completely deteriorating... ANGELA: Hodgins. What's the giant problem. HODGINS: It's a movie ticket. A little U.V. analysis, some guesswork..I come up with "The Fugitive" ANGELA: So what's wrong? You don't like Brennan's mom's taste in movies? HODGINS: The Fugitive was the third top-grossing film of 1993. (She finally realized what he's getting at) ANGELA: Brennan's parents disappeared in December of 1991. HODGINS: Yet, mom's going to Harrison Ford movies almost 2 years later. ANGELA: Oh, god. This IS giant. HODGINS: What do I do? Pretend I never found this? (Angela is speechless) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Observation platform Brennan is studying her mother's skull and has a flashback to her.) HODGINS: Dr. Brennan? (stands up, visibly shaken but trying to regain her composure) BRENNAN: Yes, um. Did you find something in the soil? HODGINS: Yeah, uh.. this was in the soil samples alongside your mother's remains. BRENNAN: A movie ticket? ANGELA: Rialto Theater. 9pm showing of "The Fugitive". September 22, 1993. BRENNAN: Well, how did it get there? HODGINS: Either your mother had it in her possession when she was buried, or it was somehow buried with her. ANGELA: Either way, it dates the burial. BRENNAN: No. That's..that's impossible. My mother disappeared in 1991. ANGELA: Sweetie... BRENNAN: It's possible mom was buried somewhere else, for a year and a half, then moved. HODGINS: No. That's not possible. ANGELA: Maybe it is. HODGINS: We decided to tell you the truth..and this is the truth. (Brennan walks away and goes back to examining her mother's skull) ANGELA: You alright? BRENNAN: I'm pretty sure I just found cause of death. Zack? ZACK: Yes. Dr. Brennan. BRENNEN: See the discoloration on the inside of the skull. (Angela leaves) ZACK: (he examines the skull) Left side, extending from the coronal suture, crossing the superior and inferior temporal lines to the squamosal suture (Brennan sees Booth come through the door with her brother, Russ.) Subdural hematoma. Whoo! A big one. (Brennan appears to no longer paying attention to what Zack is saying and has a flash back to her and Russ as teenagers.) Dr. Brennan? BRENNAN: Probably fatal. ZACK: There are no indications of a blow to the outer skull. (Brennan sees Russ as he approaches the platform) BRENNAN: (to Zack) Scan the outside of the skull. Look for histological changes, microscopic modeling. (Brennan gets up, and stops next to Booth) BRENNAN: (to Booth, whispering) I don't want to talk to him. (She brushes past him and Russ) BOOTH: Bones. Bones. (Booth turns to Zack) Alright, listen, Zack. If this guy moves, shoot him with a tranquilizer...dart or something...(Booth goes to chase after Brennan) ZACK: I don't actually have a tranquilizer gun... BOOTH: Hey, Bones. Come on. BRENNAN: My mother died of a subdural hematoma. Bleeding in the brain. BOOTH: You want to proceeded rationally, correct? BRENNAN: Chances are the subdural hematoma was caused by a blow to the head. BOOTH: Great. You got the how. Now let's get the who. You just told me that your mother was murdered. I mean, who better to help us than - than your brother? [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Brennan's office - Russ holding the Dolphin belt buckle) RUSS: Mom loved dolphins. This was mine! (has a flash back to him playing with a marble when he was younger) My favorite marble. What was she doing with that? BRENNAN: Where did Booth find you? RUSS: It's not hard for an F.B.I Agent to find a parolee. BRENNAN: I didn't ask how. I asked where. RUSS: Moorehead City, North Carolina. I call every year on your birthday. You never pick up. BRENNAN: Take a hint. RUSS: (holds up marble) Can I have this, please? BRENNAN: It's evidence. RUSS: Of what? It's a kid's marble. BRENNAN: It's the rules. I can't let you have it. RUSS: (Hands the marble back to Brennan) Same old Tempe. Never met a rule worth breaking. BRENNAN: Same old Russ. On parole. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Angela's office) BOOTH: Angela, I might send Russ in to describe some people to you. ANGELA: Okay. What people? BOOTH: Some people a seven year old boy might remember. ANGELA: That's a little vague there, Booth. BOOTH: The drawing - I mean, that's important. It's more that I trust your instincts. ANGELA: When it comes to men? (she laughs) BOOTH: (laughs then gets serious) When it comes to suspects. (he starts to leave but stops and turns back to Angela) Why do you think that Bones asked her boyfriend you know, to uh, read her book and not me? (Angela goes to answer but Booth cuts her off) You know, maybe...maybe because there was just too much of me in the story. Oh, she was embarrassed. You think? May--Maybe? (Cell phone rings - he answers it) Booth. Yeah, I'm on my way. Thanks. (to angela) Uh, the family car just arrived. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: lab/garage - Evidence Processing Room) FBI TECH #1: Are we on the look out for anything in particular? BOOTH: Treat it like a brand new crime scene. Full workup. FBI TECH #1: Let's go. BOOTH: But tear through the whole car, treat it, and then go through it with a fine tooth comb. RUSS: That's are old car, all right. BRENNAN: The name of my school is scraped off, Woodside Elementary. They said they didn't find anything in the car. BOOTH: There was a bloodstain. Front seat. Passenger side. (to the crew working on the car) Guys! Everybody! (whistles) I need the space! Now! FBI TECH #2: What? Now? BOOTH: Yeah. Now. FBI TECH #1: Take 5. Everybody! BRENNAN: Twice in two days. BOOTH: I had N.C.I.C. database check for a married couple who disappeared in 1978. Meet Max and Ruth Keenan. (Brennan looks at mug shots) RUSS: That's mom and dad alright. BRENNAN: The N.C.I.C. database? That's ..that's criminals. My parents were on the list of Federal Offenders? RUSS: How do you like that? I guess a criminal nature runs in the family. BRENNAN: (hold up a picture of her and Russ as kids in the car) You were seven years old, Russ. Old enough to remember. What - What is your real name? What is MY real name? BOOTH: Bones, it's right here in the file. BRENNAN: No! No! I want him to tell me! What is my real name, Russ? RUSS: My name was Kyle. Your name was Joy. BRENNAN: You are not my brother (Brennan slaps Russ across the face) BOOTH: Bones! BRENNAN: No! He lied about that! What else are you lying about? What else are you not telling us? (Brennan storms out, leaving Russ and Booth behind) [SCENE_BREAK] ACT IV (At the Medico Legal Lab - Catwalk.) BRENNAN: At first, I thought the worst thing was that they were missing. ANGELA: Except "dead" means no more hope. BRENNAN: My mother was alive for almost 2 years after they disappeared. She abandoned me. ANGELA: You don't know that. Look. You finally got to slap Russ. (Brennan laughs) You've been wanting to do that for years. BRENNAN: I worshipped him. You know? Oooh. (flashes back to her brother as a teenager) God. He was so cool. Everyone knew I was Russ Brennan's little sister. I wasn't cool or pretty, so being his sister - You know that game, Marco Polo? (angela nods) I'd be sitting in class, and I'd hear out the window "Marco!" It'd be Russ, checking in on me and letting everyone know that I was his little sister. ANGELA: Did you "Polo"? BRENNAN: Yeah. Sometimes it'd be the only word I said all day - "Polo". And then mom and dad disappeared and Russ took off. (flashback to Russ getting in his car and leaving) Suddenly, no one cared where I was. I miss that. Someone caring where I am all the time. BOOTH: Bones! Bones! You up there? Come on. Let's go. (claps hands) Chop. Chop. I found the Agent that was assigned to your parents' case. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office) SPECIAL AGENT WARNER: I was the F.B.I. liaison on a bank robbery task force, working out of Cincinnati in the mid-to-late '70's. Secret Service, State Police, A.T.F. - All of us after a pretty bad bunch of armed robbers working Ohio, Kentucky, Iowa. You know, excuse me. Am I to understand that I'm addressing the family of one of these robbers? BOOTH: Max and Ruth Keenan's children. WARNER: Max and Ruth. Yeah. They never really belonged in that crew. BRENNAN: Why? WARNER: They worked smart. Specialized in safe deposit boxes. No guns. They'd either con their way in or case out the place. Break back in on the weekend. Took their time. We never got a handle on the size of their scores. RUSS: Why? WARNER: Well, people keep jewelry and cash in safety deposit boxes. BOOTH: And a lot of stuff they don't want to report stolen.. WARNER: None of us understood why stand-up criminals, like Max and Ruth, would join the Midwest strong arm crew. Links to white supremacists, real dedication to firearms and violence. A job in Dayton went really bad. Two innocent bystanders were killed. One state trooper, seven wounded. BOOTH: When was that? WARNER: July 4, 1978. RUSS; Never caught them? WARNER: Not us. No. A few years later, one of them turned state's evidence for an F.B.I. Agent out of Louisville. Sent the rest to jail. My understanding is they're all dead. RUSS: Our parents were bank robbers...who morphed into a high school science teacher and a bookkeeper? WARNER: Their particular brand of safety deposit break-ins stopped. At the time, I figured the strong-arm crew killed them for their cut. FBI TECH #1: Agent Booth. We found blood in the car. BOOTH: Well, we expected that. FBI TECH #1: Yeah, but here's the wrinkle. We got blood from two separate individuals. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab) HODGINS: Now, these two DNA charts are from the blood in the car. These two are from Dr. Brennan and her brother. These three match, and this one, does not. BOOTH: These three people are related? BRENNAN: This is mom, me and Russ. HODGINS: But this chart - A male, but it's definitely not your father. BOOTH: So we'll just run it through Codas and the Convicted Offender Index and see what pops up, all right? [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Angela's Office) ANGELA: So you describe someone to me and I draw them. That's the drill. RUSS: Who do I describe? ANGELA: I don't know yet. Booth put us together so I could charm you into telling me the truth. RUSS: Trust me. I got no more truth. ANGELA: You know, your sister is my best friend, so when she says you can't be trusted, I trust her. RUSS: This is you being charming? Does Tempe really hate me that much? ANGELA: Russ, she loves you. It'd be easier if she hated you. Hate is a lot easier to deal with than love. Especially, disappointed love. RUSS: You know what's ironic? Tempe doesn't trust me because I keep a promise. ANGELA: What promise? RUSS: (flashes back to when he was a kid) Seven years old. Dad and me in the backyard, this was in Ohio. My dad tells me. "You're not Kyle anymore. Forget about Kyle. You're Russ." He says, "If you ever tell anyone - the police, anyone - you will be killing your mother and your sister." (flash back to Ruth and Joy) "Swear" he says. "You swear on your baby sister's life you won't tell" He makes me say my new name a hundred times - Russ Brennan, Russ Brennan, Russ Brennan. He say it with me. Russ Brennan. Russ Brennan. Russ Brennan. ANGELA: Around that time, when Kyle became Russ..Maybe you saw someone. Maybe you saw someone who scared you? (a face flashes in his mind) Someone who scared you because you had instincts. The instincts of a frightened kid. Was there someone like that? (the same face flashes in his mind, again) RUSS: Yeah. A man came to the house one day.Um, my dad said if I ever saw this guy again, to grab my sister, and hide. ANGELA: Well, when you're ready, you'll describe that man to me. RUSS: All right. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to Brennan's apartment - Late night) BRENNAN: If you keep bringing Chinese food in the middle of the night, we're both gonna get fat. BOOTH: I know what you've been thinking. BRENNAN: I doubt it. BOOTH: You've been thinking that your family is made up of liars and criminals. And that makes you feel lonely. There's a story here we don't know yet. BRENNAN: Like what? BOOTH: Bones, "don't know" means it's a mystery. BRENNAN: What were your parents like? BOOTH: (laughs) My parents, uh - my dad, he, uh -He drove thuds and phantoms in Vietnam. Those are fighter jets. After that, he was a barber in Philadelphia and my mom, she wrote jingles for a local advertising agency. BRENNAN: So they didn't go out at night after you were asleep and rob banks? BOOTH: Listen, Bones. You know - parents, um, they have secret lives. If they didn't, they wouldn't be parents. It is a little late for Chinese, isn't it? Thanks for the meal. See you tomorrow. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Medico-Legal lab- that same night) ZACK: Dr. Brennan, is it morning? BRENNAN: No, I couldn't sleep. Why are you still here? ZACK: We're all here. No one's leaving until we figure out what happened to your mother. BRENNAN: (touched) Thank you. ZACK: Don't thank me. I'm failing. I've gone over every millimeter of the skull and found no evidence of remodeling., which makes no sense because any wound that results in a subdural hematoma that big should leave a mark on the living bone. BRENNAN: What if the subdural hematoma, started out much smaller? ZACK: And grew over time? BRENNAN: Over the course, of say, a year. That might explain the gap between the time my mother sustained the injury and the time she was buried. ZACK: And the blow itself might not have left a mark on the bone. BRENNAN: Show me the surface of the skull directly above the center of the hematoma. ZACK: Hundred times magnification. BRENNAN: Go to 500? Oh. See here? ZACK: Microscopic fractures of the osteons and is that the result of bleeding into the interstitial spaces? I can map the fractured osteons. That might lead us to the weapon. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Brennan's office- Booth enters and finds her asleep on the couch - she wakes and sits up when he gets near) BRENNAN: I'm awake. BOOTH: Yeah, I could see that. Caught a break on the DNA in the car. BRENNAN: You know who is it? BOOTH: Not exactly. See it's a closed file. Whoever it is, is in Witness Protection. I'll make a request, but they're pretty tight over there. ANGELA: What if you had a face? BRENNAN: Who's that? ANGELA: Somebody your father pointed out to Russ when he was seven. Somebody he's still afraid of. BOOTH: Hey, know what? I'm gonna play hardball with Witness Protection. If they don't cooperate, I'm gonna put his face in the paper. BRENNAN: Wouldn't you get in trouble for that? BOOTH: Well, we'll find out. (he leaves) ANGELA: You know what? Sometimes, he is just - Whew. (Brennan looks at Angela, amused.) What? [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Medico-Legal lab) ZACK: This is the pattern of fractured osteons. ANGELA: It suggests a blow from the front that grazed the skull. BRENNAN: A bullet? HODGINS: There would've been particulates left behind by a bullet. Especially fired from a short range. ZACK: I Isolated the most fractures osteons and this pattern emerges. HODGINS: It looks like the business end of a tire iron. ANGELA: No, the size is wrong. Too small. The weapon was actually chasing the skull when it landed. I believe that the victim was pulled away at the last second so that most of the force was lost leaving only the slightest impression. BOOTH: Bones. I got what I need from Witness Protection. Let's go for a drive. (Brennan turns to leave to go off with Booth, but turns around once more before she goes) BRENNAN: Everybody. Thank you. I - (she hesistates) Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Pig Farm - Booth and Brennan pull up the car) BOOTH: Okay, Bones. (they get out of the car) Just listen to me. This guy, McVicar, he might be a pig farmer now, but he used to be a mechanic with ties to the strong-arm crew that your parents ran away from. BRENNAN: A mechanic? Like Russ. BOOTH: Not like Russ. Russ, fixes things. This guy, he used to kill people. VINCE MCVICAR: Can I help you folks? BOOTH: (Booth draws his gun) Yeah, put your hands up. Do it. BRENNAN: Booth... BOOTH: Check him for a gun. MCVICAR: What's going on? BRENNAN: (scoffs) He's got a .45 BOOTH: . 45. Check his ankle. BRENNAN: (scoffs) He's got a .38. BOOTH: .38. I'm always right. I'm FBI. I know who you are. MCVICAR: Stever Beers, Pig Farmer. BOOTH: Vince McVicar. The pig farmer, huh? MCVICAR: You want to talk to Vince McVicar. You do it through the Federal Marshals. BOOTH: I do it through the Federal Marshals, I'm gonna have to tell them about a pig farmer who carries two concealed weapons. BRENNAN: Three. .22 in the small of his back. BOOTH: .22. I'm always right. BRENNAN: No you're not. BOOTH; Yes, I am. Bones, will you put the gun down. MCVICAR: What do you want? BRENNAN: I'm Ruth Keenan's daughter. MCVICAR: Joy? You're Joy Keenan? Yeah (he laughs) I can see that. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Stables) BRENNAN: They found your blood in the car. BOOTH: You hurt lots of people, Vince. You bashed in their heads. MCVICAR: Well, they never proved that, or I wouldn't be in Witness Protection. BOOTH: Yeah, we know how it works, Vince. You rat out your crew. Everybody loses interest in a few old murders... BRENNAN: My mother was hit on the head. MCVICAR: Yeah, I know. I was there (shows scar on his forehead) Thirty-two stitches. BOOTH: She fought back, huh? MCVICAR: Ruthie fought back, alright, but not against me. BRENNAN: Then against whom? MCVICAR: Your father. BOOTH: Why did he attack you? MCVICAR: Think about it a second, all right? BRENNAN: You and my - my mother? MCVICAR: Me and Ruthie had run off together. Max caught us pulling into a motel outside of Champaign, Illinois. We were nuts about each other, Ruthie and me. Crazy in love. BOOTH: Okay, let's just skip that part, okay? MCVICAR: Well, he hit Ruthie first. BRENNAN: With what? MCVICAR: Tire iron. Hit my arm, caught me a roundhouse to the head. Lights out, baby. I came to, Ruthie and Max were gone. Never saw neither of them again. You ask me, Max killed Ruthie and buried her somewhere and vanished. Our plan, once we set up - most likely in Florida - was to bring you down. Your father is a hard man, Joy. BRENNAN: My name is Brennan. I'm Dr. - (she sighs) I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan. (MCVICAR scoffs and walks out of the barn) BRENNAN: I work at the Jeffersonian Institution. I'm a Forensic Anthropologist. I specialize in identif - (she starts to break) in identifying - in identifying people when nobody knows who they are. My father was a science teacher. My mother was a bookkeeper (she starts to cry) My brother - (she wipes her tears) I have a brother. (now her tears are flowing) I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan. BOOTH: I know who you are. Hey. I know. (He pulls her into him and holds her tight.) It's okay. Shh. It's gonna be alright. [SCENE_BREAK] Act V (Cut to: Brennan's apartment) RUSS: No way dad hits mom. Now way. BRENNAN: If he caught them together.. RUSS: No way mom cheats on dad. No way. BOOTH: Men like McVicar, he lies the way you guys take a drink of water. He killed people, then snitched to save his own ass. BRENNAN: You don't believe him? BOOTH: No. I don't believe him. BRENNAN: Give me one piece of evidence that doesn't back up his story. BOOTH: You're school sticker on the back of your parents' car - it was scraped off. RUSS: What does that prove? BOOTH: Well, the only reason to do that - to keep you guys hidden, safe. BRENNAN: From McVicar. BOOTH: McVicar performed hits for the crew your mom and dad ran out on. BRENNAN: What else? BOOTH: Well, there's a story that tracks for me, but without evidence, it's - it's just a story. RUSS: Tell us. BOOTH: Your parents go out Christmas shopping one day. They spot McVicar, the hit man. Alright? They lead him away from your home. BRENNAN: Scrape off the name of the school so he can't trace it back to me and Russ. BOOTH: He take out your father.. BRENNAN: ..and my mother gets away with a head wound. BOOTH: She leaves the car a thousand miles away, finds friends, but she can never go back to see you guys because the crew is still looking for her. It's just a story. BRENNAN: Fits the evidence. BOOTH: Alright. You know what? The weapons that McVicar had on him, they're a violation of his agreement with the Witness Protection Program. I'm gonna take him into custody. I'm gonna get a warrant. I'm gonna search his farm. RUSS: Search for what? BOOTH: McVickar like to bash in people's heads. Maybe we'll get lucky and match the weapon he used on your mother. BRENNAN: It's unlikely. BOOTH: In that case, we'll still ruin his day. (Booth leaves) RUSS: Tempe, that theory explains why mom never cam back for you during that year and a half before she died. BRENNAN: What's your excuse, Russ? RUSS: You're the one that left me. You needed someone to blame. You chose me. BRENNAN: I was Fifteen years old. RUSS: I was nineteen! My parents were gone. My sister hated my guts. Everyone's telling me that she'd be better off in foster care. BRENNAN: You didn't even ask me. RUSS: I tried, Temperance. You wouldn't talk to me. You still wouldn't be talking to me if mom's bones hadn't shown up. And I kept trying. Every year. Every year on your birthday. You're the on that gave up! You turned your back on me and you made yourself a new family. (Russ leaves, leaving Brennan alone) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - platform - the crew is examining weapons taken from McVickers farm.) BRENNAN: What's going on? HODGINS: The FBI delivered all these tools and weapons from the pig farm guy. ANGELA: We went through them to see if any of them match the mark on your mother's skull. BOOTH: We got 20 hammers, a dozen hatchets.. HODGINS: Man loves his blunt instruments. ZACK: Seven tire irons. None of them match the wound, even allowing for shrinkage. BRENNAN: It was 15 years ago. Even if McVicker killed my mother, what are the chances he hung on to the exact weapon? BOOTH: Uh, It's always like this with McVicker. Alright, ya know, some mook is found with his forehead bashed in. The FBI goes in the basement, collects about 40 hammers and nothing matches. BRENNAN: Always the forehead? BOOTH: Yeah. That's his signature kill, yeah. Not that anyone could ever prove it. BRENNAN: You said guys like McVicker get comfortable with a way of killing... BOOTH: Yeah. BRENNAN: Where did McVicker grow up? BOOTH: He grew up a farm kid in Iowa. Why? BRENNAN: How do you slaughter a pig? [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: McVicker's Farm) BRENNAN: Why is he here? (looks towards McVicker, who is standing with the cops) BOOTH: He gets nervous, we know we're getting close. FBI TECH #1: Found this in the barn. (hands object to Brennan) This is a spring-loaded captive bolt stunner. The animals restrained. It's pressed to the forehead. BRENNAN: (examines the stunner) Hmm. (presses into the wooden fence and pulls the trigger, causing a section of the fence to be blown out) BOOTH: Oh! FBI TECH #1: What kind of person could use this on a human being? BRENNAN: What kind of person could use this on a pig? BOOTH: It's the perfect dodge. Blood, flesh - it can all be explained. BRENNAN: I think I just became a vegetarian. BOOTH: So what do you think? BRENNAN: Yeah. Same shape as a tire iron, but smaller. This could be a match. MCVICKER: (yells from the distance) Before you decide anything, we should talk. BOOTH: (to Brennan) I'd call that nervous, wouldn't you? MCVICKER: There's no way to prove that's the exact weapon that killed your mother or anyone else. BOOTH: You'd be surprised what she can prove. MCVICKER: (to Brennan) I need to speak to you alone. BOOTH: Forget it. BRENNAN: Booth, it's alright. BOOTH; No. BRENNAN: It's alright. BOOTH: You got two ways to look at this. One is, you score a private chat. The second one is, you attack her and I'll drill you through the forehead. MCVICKER: How could I possibly attack her. BOOTH: I'll decide what is and isn't an attack -like say, a hiccup. BRENNAN: Booth. Come on. (Booth watches like a hawk and Brennan and McVicker move away to talk) BRENNAN: You killed my mother. MCVICKER: Gonna be hard to convince a jury. BRENNAN: I'm pretty persuasive. I'll put you away. MCVICKER: Here's the thing, Joy. Two people know what really happened that night. Me and your father. BRENNAN: You killed him before you attacked my mother. MCVICKER: Then how did I get this scar on my head? You got a choice, Joy. You drop the bolt stunner down the well, and you'll know what happened. You put me in front of a jury, not only will you fail to convict, but you'll never know the truth. (Brennan looks over at Booth) You can't live with that, Joy. You can't live not knowing. BRENNAN: I found out what happened to my mother. I will find out what happened to my father, too. (she starts to walk away) We're done. MCVICKER: You will NEVER know what happened to your father. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Booth & Brennan in the car - night) BRENNAN: Why are you letting me drive? BOOTH: It's your reward.. BRENNAN: For what? BOOTH: For totally pissing off a hit man. Can I read your book? BRENNAN: After it comes out. BOOTH: Not before? BRENNAN: No. BOOTH. I let you drive. BRENNAN: Just let it go. BOOTH: Where are we going? BRENNAN: I'd like to make up for a little lost time. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Town carnival in Moorehead City, North Carolina - Booth and Brennan approach Russ.) BOOTH: I'm gonna go get a funnel cake.Okay? BRENNAN: I have something for you (she holds up the marble and give is to Russ) RUSS: Thanks, Tempe. BRENNAN: Russ. You were right. You were only 19, but at the time, I didn't understand what that meant. Sometimes people need to explain things to me, I guess. RUSS: Then, you have to let them talk to you. BRENNAN: If you can maybe come back and stay a couple days longer? Please? At my place, I mean. RUSS: (he pauses for a moment) Marco. BRENNAN: Polo. (Brother and sister are united and they hug. Booth watches them and smiles) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Brennan, Russ & Booth all enter Brennan's apartment) BRENNAN: Anybody thirsty? RUSS: Is it too early for a beer? BOOTH: Ah, I gotta go. You know, I'm Picking up Parker for the weekend. (Booth spots Brennan's manuscript sitting on the table. The original title "Bone Free", crosses out) Yeah, I'll take one. RUSS: You have boy? BOOTH: Yeah. (He lifts up the front page and sees the dedication "This book is to my partner and friend, Special Agent Seeley Booth.) RUSS: The woman I'm seeing, she's got uh, two daughers. BOOTH: (puts the page down and smiles) Nice. (he looks at Brennan) Girls are nice. (Brennan hands the two guys a beer - they raise their bottles to toast.) BOOTH: To us. RUSS: Whoever the hell we are. BRENNAN: To what we're becoming. (Brennan goes to play back her phone messages) ANSWERING MACHINE (female voice): "New message recorded today. 3p.m." MAN'S VOICE: "Temperance? You have to stop looking. Y-You have to stop looking for me right now. This is bigger and worse than you know. Please stop now." BOOTH: Who's that? (flashback to Brennan and Russ's father - "stop") BRENNAN: That was my father. (another flashback to Brennan and Russ's father) End.	Plan: A: the identity; Q: What is Brennan trying to determine about a Jane Doe? A: Brennan; Q: Who is shocked to learn that the remains of her mother are those of her mother? A: 15 years ago; Q: When did Brennan's mother and father go missing? A: uncertainty; Q: What did Brennan feel for years about her parents? A: her parents; Q: Who did Brennan not know what happened to? A: confirmation; Q: What does Brennan finally have of her mother's death? A: Booth; Q: Who reveals to Brennan that her parents were outlaws? A: an investigation; Q: What can Booth open into the case now that remains have been uncovered? A: Brennan's parents' lives; Q: What did Booth research to find out more about Brennan's parents? A: assumed identities; Q: What were Brennan's parents living under? A: the team; Q: Who is working to glean more information from her mother's skeleton? A: a whole new reality; Q: What must Brennan come to grips with as more details of her parents' past come to the surface? Summary: While trying to determine the identity of a Jane Doe, Brennan is shocked to learn the remains are those of her mother, who went missing with her father 15 years ago. After years of uncertainty and not knowing what happened to her parents, Brennan finally has confirmation of her mother's death, and the news understandably hits her hard. Now that remains have been uncovered, Booth can open an investigation into the case for the first time. After researching Brennan's parents' lives, Booth surprises her with the news that her parents were not the people she thought they were - both were outlaws living under assumed identities. With the team working to glean more information from her mother's skeleton, to Brennan, she's now more of a Jane Doe than ever. As more details of her parents' past, in addition to her own, come to the surface, Brennan must come to grips with a whole new reality.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously, on Veronica Mars... Veronica holds out a plastic bag containing the frozen dead rat from the bus from the scene in 209 "My Mother, the Fiend." VERONICA: Are you keeping a dead rat in our freezer? KEITH: I found it on the bus. VERONICA: You checked out the bus and didn't tell me? KEITH: I should have taken over this case. At the sheriff's department, Veronica waits to see Lamb and the FBI in 211 "Donut Run." DEPUTY BOUNCER:: You ever hit the clubs in L.A., Veronica? VERONICA: I'm eighteen. DEPUTY BOUNCER:: I'm a bouncer. You come up, I'll get you in. VERONICA: Okay. Weevil blows up at Logan in the boys' bathroom at Neptune High in 209 "My Mother, the Fiend." WEEVIL: I thought you killed Felix. LOGAN: I didn't. Having resolved their differences, at least temporarily, the boys conspire in the Presidential Suite of the Neptune Grand in 211 "Donut Run." WEEVIL: It's down to two guys. LOGAN: How are we gonna figure out who did it? WEEVIL: The one that did it is the one that's in business with the Fitzpatricks. Wallace, looking fine with his muscles on show, questions a stranger in 204 "Green-Eyed Monster." WALLACE: Who are you? NATHAN: I'm your father. Lamb closes a file as he talks into his speaker phone in 205 "Blast from the Past." LAMB: You send me in to arrest Carl Morgan... Keith, who is standing outside the Fennel residence, is listening on his cell. LAMB: [offscreen] ...a.k.a. Nathan Woods. Lamb rests back in his chair. LAMB: Chicago cop. Veronica and Wallace talk in the lunch area at the high school in 211 "Donut Run." VERONICA: Why'd you really come back, Wallace? WALLACE: You know my new teammate was Rashard Rucker. Rashard had a few beers, but he said he was okay to drive. This wino staggered out in front of the car. He hit him. From the same episode, Wallace is confronted at his car. SAYERS: Ernie Sayers, Chicago Statesman. The homeless man was a victim of a hit-and-run. WALLACE: So what's the question? SAYERS: The question is, what kind of man were you planning on being? End previously. A knife descends slowly into... INT - JAVA THE HUT. ...a gooey chocolate cake. It is used to push a large piece onto a cake server. The cake is placed on a small plate. The plate is handed over to Veronica, who takes it to a nearby small table where Wallace sits, alone and uncomfortable. Veronica puts the cake in front of him and sinks into the chair opposite him. VERONICA: So, the manager's boyfriend just dumped her, and she says this helps with the stress. WALLACE: What is it? VERONICA: A German Chocolate Nut-gasm. WALLACE: I don't think that's gonna help. VERONICA: Well, eat it anyway, because Rashard Rucker isn't just any guy. You are about to implicate THE basketball phenom of the decade, the second coming of LeBron James, in a hit-and-run. And all those people around him waiting for it to start raining million-dollar bills, they might open their newspapers tomorrow and decide they don't like you. WALLACE: I gotta do the right thing...but look, you don't have to do this. I'll be fine. VERONICA: Please, let me. My boyfriend just fled the country with his dead ex-girlfriend's baby. I need a project. Wallace smiles. Veronica glances towards the entrance. Ernie Sayers has arrived and is attended by one of the waitress. WAITRESS: Hi. VERONICA: Your reporter's here. Veronica gets up from the table. VERONICA: I'll send him over. Don't let him misspell your name. INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - NIGHT. Inga turns from one of the desks behind the counter at the sound of footsteps. It's Keith, carrying in one hand a book into which is inserted a piece of paper, and in the other, an iPod. INGA: Keith. KEITH: Evening, Inga. How's police work? Don got some big bus-crash leads hidden away? INGA: I know nothing. KEITH: Oh, okay. Keith pulls the piece of paper from the book. KEITH: I'm being audited. No big deal, but I was hoping you could get me copies of these old expense and salary documents. He hands her the piece of paper which, from the reverse, appears to have a list of about a dozen items on it. INGA: Goodness. We have it. But it'll take me a while to dig this out, if you- KEITH: I got me a book... Keith holds up his book. It is Bill O'Reilly's "Those Who Trespass." He then picks up the iPod. KEITH: ...and a Bad Company album. Take all the time you need. Keith puts the earphones on and grins. Inga grins back and walks away from the counter to collect Keith's documents. He watches her go. The iPod starts to play. It's not Bad Company. It's his interviews about security in the sheriff's department from 210 "One Angry Veronica." Once Inga has gone, Keith walks around to her side of the counter. KEITH: [on tape] You ever lose a card? SACKS: [offscreen on tape] So, if somebody found it, it's no good. We change the codes. Keith opens one of the drawers. KEITH: [on tape] But you still need a card, right? Keith picks up a blank card. Lying at the bottom of the drawer is a slip of paper listing various codes. Each is crossed off as a new one is added. #56556, #47832, #24901, #17381, #98537 and #72328 have all been used and scratched. The current code is #56741. SACKS: [offscreen on tape] Inga has the codes in her drawer. She can just make a new card right there. Keith places the card into the slot in the machine under the counter. On the computer screen on the desk, he finds the encoding form and types in the security number. The card in the machine slides further in and then out as the card is encoded. Keith grabs the card. Cut to moments later as Keith opens a door leading into a small hallway. Opposite is the door to the evidence room. LEO: [offscreen on tape] No one keeps an eye on the third-floor evidence room. The hard drive in the surveillance camera, someone decides that they have to dump the files every couple days. Keith glances up at the surveillance camera. It is pointed at the floor, obviously out of use. Keith shakes his head. He uses the encoded card in the slide lock. He enters the evidence room. He casts his eyes around until alighting on a large box, the label of which includes the words "Bus Crash," resting on a shelf below a plastic bag which contains, among other things, a hammer. Keith grabs the box and pulls it off the shelf. He sets it on a small table at the end of the room. He opens it. Lying at the top are four mini-cassettes, each labelled. Keith opens his book. He has already cut out a hole through the pages towards the back of the book. He places the tapes in the hole. He replaces the lid and puts the box back on the shelf. Back in the main office, a stack of papers, a foot deep, slaps down on the counter. Inga has returned. She looks up and sees Keith on one of the chairs, reading his book and listening to his iPod. Keith looks up, smiles and removes the earphones. KEITH: Bless you, Inga. He rises, slipping the earphones into his pocket as he approaches the counter. INGA: My pleasure. How was your book? KEITH: Weird. But I expect it'll start making more sense soon. He grins. EXT - NEPTUNE HIGH SCHOOL (NHS) - DAY. Wallace exits the school. Veronica is close behind him. VERONICA: Hey. She catches up and they walk on together. VERONICA: Oh, you look better than I expected. I figured you'd be covered in eggs and rotten fruit hurled by angry basketball aficionados. WALLACE: Me too, but there's nothing. I checked online, radio: no word. Maybe he's just a slow typist. They walk up the steps to the tables in the lunch area and out of shot, passing Molly Fitzpatrick, sitting alone at one of the tables. She is stabbing listlessly at her food. Weevil, carrying a tray, approaches and invites himself to join her. WEEVIL: You should try that cobbler, Molly. It'll surprise you. Molly is very surprised that Weevil is sitting next to her. She responds in a voice with a heavy lisp. MOLLY: Thanks for the tip, but I don't really like surprises. And why are you sitting here? WEEVIL: Well, I was gonna start with some small talk, but, okay. Were you dating Felix? Molly jerks back in shock. MOLLY: What? No, what are you... Weevil pulls out the photobooth strip of pictures of her and Felix that the tattooist gave him in 211 "Donut Run." He glances around before sliding it towards her and fixes on her reaction. MOLLY: Where did you get this? WEEVIL: Apparently he was gonna get you tattooed somewhere on his person. And from your reaction, I'm guessing it wasn't gonna be on his forehead. MOLLY: Yeah, it was kind of a secret, and I'd appreciate it if it stayed - WEEVIL: Was he working for your family? Was he dealing for them? MOLLY: [peeved] What? I thought you were friends, but if you're asking me that, you didn't know him at all. Weevil sighs and looks away. WEEVIL: No, I knew him. MOLLY: My uncles and cousins didn't know about us. If they'd have known, they probably would have killed us both. WEEVIL: How did you guys even meet? MOLLY: At church. St. Mary's. WEEVIL: Of course. The only place the micks and the spics ever get together without someone getting punched. MOLLY: My uncle's a priest there. WEEVIL: [incredulous] Liam Fitzpatrick?! If that guy's a priest, then I'm Buzz Aldrin. MOLLY: Brother, Patrick. That's my family. Twelve hoodlums, one priest. Weevil processes all of this. MOLLY: You haven't touched your cobbler. WEEVIL: Yeah, I don't like surprises either. INT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - EARLY MORNING. It's 4:25 in the morning and Wallace is in bed when his cell phone rings. Wallace reaches for it, groggily checking the number. WALLACE: Hello? INT - WOOD RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Nathan is sitting in a chair in what looks to be a small apartment. The clock behind him shows that it is 6:35 in Chicago. Nathan is holding up a newspaper in one hand and the phone in the other. NATHAN: Wallace, you know what's in this morning's paper? INT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. The camera alternates between locations as the conversation proceeds. Wallace sits up at Nathan's question. WALLACE: Nathan, look, I know what you said, but I just couldn't pretend. I had to do the right thing. NATHAN: The right thing? Son, do you know what it says? WALLACE: No, but I know what I- NATHAN: This is why I wanted you to keep quiet. Rashard and the other two kids in the car just came out saying when the car hit the homeless guy, you were driving. Wallace seems more disappointed than shocked. Opening credits. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - DAY. Wallace and Veronica are standing on the walkway, between the side of the school and the lunch area, looking at the copy of the Chicago Statesman that Wallace holds. VERONICA: So that's what happens when you try to do the right thing. A close-up of the newspaper shows most articles written in faux-Latin and a number of headlines: "Stocks tumble on word of faulty earnings reports by Steve Broussard, Junior Staff Writer" and "Yoga Toga Party - As the {?} of the yoga {?} during the late nineties and early {?} comes to a grinding halt. Many outposts of the pagan ritual are seeking gimmicks to re-entice their customers back to the mat. Will it work? Toga and Fries?, E1." The caption to the main picture reads: "April Breck attends to Sgt. Chris O'Donnell who's [sic] convoy was struck by an IED near Najaf, Iraq." But the headline of interest to Wallace and Veronica is the one written by Senior Staff Writer, Ernie Sayers: "Teen implicated in car accident - NBA hopeful confirms team-mate struck man, attempted cover-up." WALLACE: Just looks like I'm trying to weasel out of my evil deeds. As Wallace lets the paper drop, Veronica grabs it, looking at it more closely. VERONICA: No, the weasel is this basketball guy. God, I just want him smashed. Veronica illustrates by crumpling the newspaper. Wallace rushes to snatch it back. WALLACE: Hey! The paper's from the library. Last thing I need is the librarian turning on me too. They start to walk. WALLACE: Ah, Rashard's cool. It's not like he- VERONICA: [astounded] Cool?! Um, are we thinking of the same word? Because I don't remember, say, Steve McQueen ever hitting a homeless man in his Hummer and framing someone else for it. WALLACE: No. He's got this uncle. He's like his father, manager, and enforcer. These guys all lying? That's gotta be because of him. Uncle Rucker, paying 'em off...or scaring 'em. WALLACE: Oh, look, he's coming here. UCLA's trying to recruit him. If I could just talk to Rashard alone, we were friends. I'm sure- VERONICA: Yeah, he'd say, "Excuse me. You're standing between me and my money." WALLACE: Man. Is there anybody you don't think is corrupt deep down? They reach an empty table and sit down. VERONICA: Yes, you. And I don't want you suffering for it, because jail? Veronica waves her hands. VERONICA: Is no fun. JACKIE: [offscreen] What's no fun? Veronica and Wallace look up as Jackie stops by the table. VERONICA: Um....jail? Jackie laughs. JACKIE: Oh, I thought you were talking about Mr. Wu's game-show quiz. VERONICA: No, I was talking about jail. Wallace casts Veronica a wary glance. A dodgy edit or continuity skip covers the fact that Veronica grabs the newspaper that is on the table to busy herself with it while Wallace and Jackie talk. JACKIE: So, Wallace, I haven't seen much of you since Chicago. How was it? WALLACE: It was all right. A bit...complicated. JACKIE: I left you a couple messages, uh, but when I didn't hear back, I figured... WALLACE: Yeah. I was just...taking some time. JACKIE: But we should hang out, the three of us. I don't know, maybe this weekend? The silence is just that bit too long. WALLACE: I'm busy, but you guys go ahead. Veronica looks up at Jackie, a little horrified. Jackie stares back, seemingly open to the idea but not feeling the welcome. Veronica presses her lips together as Jackie covers with a smile. JACKIE: Right. Uh, see you around. Jackie walks away. Veronica hands back the newspaper. VERONICA: You guys didn't work out your stuff yet? Wallace shrugs. WALLACE: I'm just trying to figure out if I can deal with someone like that in my life right now. A bell rings and they move to head into school, as do all the other students around them. VERONICA: Answer? No. What you need in your life right now is a good lawyer. WALLACE: You know a good lawyer? VERONICA: I know...a lawyer. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS - DAY. Cliff is using the phone on Veronica's desk. CLIFF: Right. Got it, thanks. He drops the phone onto its holder and turns to face Wallace and Veronica, sitting on the small couch. CLIFF: So, it's called self-surrender. Cliff sits on the top of Veronica's desk. CLIFF: At the negotiated time five days hence, Wallace Fennel will turn himself in to the Neptune Sheriff's Department, who will oversee his transfer to the Chicago police. WALLACE: What if I'm not there? CLIFF: Then they'll issue a warrant, you'll be arrested, probably found guilty, and end up married to some enormous murderer named Tiny. My advice? Be punctual. VERONICA: Or prove your innocence. CLIFF: Or that. Suit yourself. Cliff grabs his briefcase and leaves. Wallace leans forward, determined to see the bright side. WALLACE: All right. So that's good. Veronica gives him a disbelieving look. VERONICA: Good? What, in the same way that Rashard is "cool"? Do you know what any words actually mean? WALLACE: I mean, if I'm cleared in the next five days, I'm back on the team in time for the Pan High game. VERONICA: Pan High? How can you even think of the game right now? Veronica gets up and marches to her desk. WALLACE: Rival school, biggest game of the year? I can't help it. I'm male. VERONICA: Well, here's a message from the females: you're nuts. She sits at her desk and starts to consult the laptop, with a sigh. Wallace gets up and joins her, looking over her shoulder. VERONICA: So, let's see what's up for "Bribe Rashard into Being a Bruin" Week. WALLACE: You got his whole schedule. How'd you manage that? VERONICA: Remember Tracy James? WALLACE: You mean... Wallace graphically indicates large breasts. Veronica frowns in distaste. VERONICA: Yes. Those boobs named Tracy James that went to Neptune and are now a Bruin cheerleader. She says our best bet is the Booster dinner. WALLACE: Booster dinner? Can we get in? VERONICA: No. But she says it's not uncommon to find certain...slightly skanky girls lurking outside in hopes of meeting the big recruit and, given that these recruits are teen males, often succeeding. Wallace gets a faraway look in his eye. WALLACE: That happens. So, you think when I apply to college, I- VERONICA: [firmly] No. Wallace tsks in disappointment. VERONICA: But it does seem like our best bet to get you to see Rashard. Wallace nods. Keith shouts from his office. KEITH: [offscreen] Veronica? VERONICA: [shouting back] What?! Wallace glances at Keith's closed door. WALLACE: [quietly] You got my future in your hands. Don't drop it. Wallace takes himself off. Veronica worriedly watches him go. Keith pops his head out of his office. KEITH: I believe the correct response is, "How can I be of service, sir?" Veronica grins, holding out supplicating hands. KEITH: Can you dig up the Murray file? I guess now we need to destroy it. Veronica is shocked. VERONICA: What? THEY reconciled? How? KEITH: Mystery of love would be my guess. Keith disappears back into his office, closing the door. VERONICA: [to herself] A million-dollar "Sorry I banged the maid" ring would be mine. Veronica continues to view the laptop screen. Cut to a little later. Veronica is feeding a photograph of a man and a woman at a restaurant through the shredder. She picks up the next from the pile on her desk, examines it and sighs. This one, showing the couple getting much closer, feeds through. She picks up the next one and pauses. She stares intently at the top right-hand corner of the photo, away from the couple in the centre. In his office, Keith is deep in some papers when Veronica lays the photo down on top of them. Keith gets agitated, picking it up and handing it back to her. KEITH: What? What, no, I don't want to see the one where you can see his- She doesn't take it, leaving it on the desk. VERONICA: Take a look in the top-right corner. Keith, catching her serious tone, picks up the picture again and looks as directed. The picture shows Terrence Cook, holding between his own hands the hands of a young woman, who is smiling up at him. KEITH: That's Terrence Cook and, uh... VERONICA: Miss Dumas, the journalism teacher. KEITH: Who died in the bus crash. Well, you met Terrence the day of the bus crash. What was he like? VERONICA: Um, nice. He signed stuff for people, the usual sports-star thing. He also has some gambling issues. KEITH: Gambling issues like lost fifty bucks at the dog track? VERONICA: Like owes millions to scary men. Keith drops his pen and leans back in his chair, half annoyed and half resigned at this. KEITH: And you know this how? VERONICA: I don't know if this will help the whole you-trusting-me thing... Keith doesn't rise to this, keeping his expression neutral. VERONICA: ...or ruin it even worse, but during the election I did a thing you won't approve of, and now I have a tape you should hear. INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, PRESIDENTIAL SUITE. A golfer takes a swing at the four-par first hole in "Hot Shots," last seen when Duncan and Logan played together in 205 "Blast from the Past." LOGAN: [offscreen] Drugs, murder... Logan is playing by himself, concentrating on the game. LOGAN: ...frame-ups... GAME: Nice one. LOGAN: ...St. Mary's Church. God, why didn't we think of that sooner? Weevil is leaning back on the sofa, at right angles to Logan, staring at the ceiling. WEEVIL: Seriously, man, this has got to be it. Logan doesn't take his eyes off the game. LOGAN: And you're convinced of this? Why? Weevil leans forward. WEEVIL: You met the Fitzpatrick family? Logan nods, still playing. LOGAN: And found them scrappy but loveable. GAME: Smooth. WEEVIL: So out of thirteen brothers and cousins, you got twelve hoods and a priest. Father Patrick. On screen, the golfer, now at the eighteenth hole, swings. WEEVIL: [offscreen] So, I was thinking - The ball lands in the rough, near a sand bunker. LOGAN: [offscreen] Oh, damn. GAME: Can't a brother get a break? Come on- Weevil glares at Logan and then at the game. He gets up and yanks the plugs out of the Playstation. The TV screen goes dead. LOGAN: [annoyed] What?! You were thinking, you want me to alert the media? WEEVIL: [equally pissed off] This concerns you too, jailbird. You think I like sneaking over here like this? Focus, man! LOGAN: Okay, man, I'm focused. Go ahead, think. Weevil paces. WEEVIL: Okay, we got a Fitzpatrick priest running the show at a church where all the PCHers go, right? LOGAN: That's decent thinking for a novice. But aren't priests supposed to be, like, I don't know, good and stuff? WEEVIL: Before he took his orders, Patrick Fitzpatrick was up to his eyeballs in the family business. He even did six months for assault for beating up some stoolpigeon. LOGAN: Yeah, but in church? Where are you gonna pass packages of drugs and money? WEEVIL: You ever been to a Catholic church? Logan looks up at Weevil. Cut to later. Weevil opens the door of the suite and steps into the hallway. They seem to have had some renovations as the lift doors are now where Logan exited the room where he had s*x with Kendall in 202 "Driver Ed" was. Weevil heads for the lift. He doesn't see the Mexican man around the corner who watches him. INT - SITE OF THE BOOSTER DINNER - NIGHT. Rashard Rucker is being led through a busy hotel bar by two cheerleaders who are wearing matching jeans, sparkling tops and cropped sweaters, presumably in the college colours of turquoise and yellow. According to the credits, one of these girls is Tracy. (Wallace exaggerated her attributes.) TRACY: So, Rashard, any more questions we can answer about the school? RASHARD: Well, uh, one question I had was, you know what I mean, "Hey, where's the party?" They all come to a halt at the entrance to the hotel. Behind them is a notice, marking it as the site of an Alumni Dinner. Also behind them are three men in deep conversation. TRACY: We figured wherever you were going. RASHARD: Oh. He laughs and the girls giggle. Looking out into the street, Rashard sees a limo. The moustachioed driver is standing in front of it, holding up a sign with Rashard's name printed on it. RASHARD: I was actually just going to my limo. You know you all is welcome to come along. He laughs again, enjoying his blessings. RASHARD: Oh, god. The girls continue to giggle as the three of them head for the limo. EXT - SITE OF THE BOOSTER DINNER - CONTINUING. The driver opens the door and they all climb in. In the hotel, one of the men standing near the entrance talking to the other two men glances at the limo. As the limo driver closes the door, the man excuses himself from his companions and starts to head for the limo. INT - LIMOUSINE - CONTINUING. Inside the limo, the driver takes his seat. Veronica is in the seat next to him. VERONICA: Okay, so we're headed to the Forum Suites Hotel. As the limo starts to drive away, Veronica punches a button on her cell. In the back, Rashard continues to impress the giggling girls. RASHARD: [offscreen] This is how I roll. Wallace picks up at the other end of Veronica's call. WALLACE: [offscreen] Yeah? VERONICA: [chirpy] We're on our way, and everything's going perfect. We'll see you there? WALLACE: I'm moving. VERONICA: Super. Bye then. Noises continue from the back until cut off by the sudden braking of the limo when a truck pulls out across the road. LIMO DRIVER: Hey! They are stuck there for a moment. Veronica hears the sound of a heavy tread. She looks in the side mirror and sees the man from the hotel striding towards the car. It's Monte Rucker, Rashard's uncle/manager. VERONICA: Actually, we're in a hurry, so... She's too late as Monte pulls open the back door. The girls look up at him, still smiling broadly. TRACY: Hi! MONTE: Hi yourself...and bye. Get out. Their smiles fade as they glance at Rashard. RASHARD: Whoa, hang on- Monte jabs his finger at Rashard. MONTE: You. Don't say anything. The girls climb out the other side as Monte climbs in. Veronica sees this from the driver's mirror and silently groans. The driver shrugs as Monte issues forth instructions through the intercom. MONTE: [offscreen] Forum Suites Hotel. As the car moves off, Monte chastises Rashard. MONTE: What the hell are you doing? RASHARD: Nothing, man. They just a couple nice girls who wanted to- MONTE: First of all, I ain't man. I'm your family, your management, and your brains, so don't be cute with me. Second, those aren't girls, those are leeches... In the front, Veronica rolls her eyes. MONTE: [offscreen] ...looking for a big bad of money to latch on to. She punches her phone again. In the back, Rashard tries to defend himself. RASHARD: Man, it ain't ev- Monte cuts him off with a glare. Rashard pauses and tries again. RASHARD: It wasn't like that. In the front, Veronica grimaces as she gets Wallace's answer message. WALLACE: [offscreen] This is Wallace. Leave a message. VERONICA: [still chirpy but with urgency] Hi! We might need to make a slight change of plan. Give me a call the instant you get this message. She and the driver exchange a resigned look. MONTE: [offscreen] I've been there. I've seen this happen. Monte continues with the sage advice in the back. MONTE: Some smilie thing, filling out a pair of jeans real nice shows up. One wrong move and a lawsuit later... He snaps his fingers. MONTE: There goes your shoe deal. He snaps them again. MONTE: There goes ten million bucks. Rashard sighs. In the front, Veronica points. VERONICA: Just down in the garage. The limo drives into the underground car park. Meanwhile, Monte ceases hectoring and his voice softens. MONTE: Look, I'm not saying don't enjoy the fruits of your success. You deserve the best. Just don't be dumb. Veronica points again. VERONICA: Right between there. RASHARD: [offscreen] Can I still go to the Alpha Rho Nu thing Thursday? In the back, Monte smiles and nods. MONTE: Yeah. Just remember - you think with your brains, not with...this. Monte slaps him in the nuts. Rashard gasps in pain. INT - FORUMS SUITES HOTEL, UNDERGROUND CAR PARK - CONTINUING. The limo pulls in tight between two cars. RASHARD: [offscreen] Damn, uncle! Wallace, waiting in one of the cars, nods as the limo drives slowly through. Veronica continues to direct the driver. VERONICA: Just forward a little more. LIMO DRIVER: Ma'am, the passengers won't be able to open their doors. VERONICA: You don't say. The limo stops, pulled a little forward of the two cars. Veronica and the driver can exit but the back doors are blocked. Wallace leans out of his window and raps on the darkened back window of the limousine. WALLACE: Rashard! Veronica, who is wearing a UCLA blazer, races over to Wallace. VERONICA: I tried to call you, but your phone doesn't work down here. WALLACE: What's going on? VERONICA: Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the Forum Suites. The window of the limo rolls down. WALLACE: Rashard! Monte's face, like thunder, glares out at Wallace. Behind him Rashard looks surprised. MONTE: No. Now what the hell's going on here? Wallace casts a disappointed looks at Veronica. She shakes her head. MONTE: I told you once, now I'm telling you with more force: do not mess with my boy. He holds up his cell phone, giving Wallace a good look at it. MONTE: I got that reporter on speed dial. I'm glad to call him again. The driver gets out of the limo. LIMO DRIVER: Ma'am, uh, do you want me to pull back so that the doors clear? VERONICA: Actually, that's okay, we're just- Monte, still trapped in the car, addresses the driver. MONTE: What I want is your name and license number. LIMO DRIVER: I'm sorry? MONTE: You're sorry? Well, you ain't the one being kidnapped, Jack. LIMO DRIVER: Kidnapped? You're not with them? MONTE: Hell no. Confused, the driver turns to Veronica. LIMO DRIVER: Ma'am? MONTE: Now you want to get us the hell out of here, or do you want me to dig up the Chief of Police's number? He waves the phone about again. MONTE: Which I got in here, too. He's a big basketball fan. Wallace and Veronica exchange defeated looks. Cut to moments later. The limo drives away, leaving Wallace and Veronica standing, gazing at its tail lights. VERONICA: Well, it almost worked. WALLACE: Any other ideas? They start to head towards Wallace's car. VERONICA: Yeah, a cheeseburger. I'm late for my shift, and there's a drive-through on the way. Wallace stops short. WALLACE: Oh, man. The drive-through! VERONICA: Right, it's that thing they have where we don't even have to leave the soothing comfort of our cars. WALLACE: The night of the accident, like five minutes before, we hit White Castle. The drive-through. Veronica stares at him, quizzically. WALLACE: Don't you see? There's a witness right there! The drive-through guy. VERONICA: He saw Rashard at the wheel. WALLACE: He got his autograph! I mean, hell, there might even be security tape of Rashard driving. We find that drive-through guy, I got a witness. Wallace races towards his car. VERONICA: What about my cheeseburger? WALLACE: Raincheck. He gets into the car and starts the engine, excited. WALLACE: I'm heading back, get Nathan to find that drive-through guy, get us both off the hook. Veronica grins. INT - JAVA THE HUT - NIGHT. Lars is singing again. It is excruciating again. This time he is doing Air Supply's "All Out of Love." LARS: [singing] I'm all out of love What am I without you? I can't be too late To say that I was so wrong Veronica hurries in. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Great. So I'm late, it's super-busy, I missed dinner, and it's "make the karaoke machine want to kill itself" night. Veronica pauses to tie back her hair. She spots Weevil in the corner, gesturing at her to come over. VERONICA VOICEOVER: And also, it seems, "Veronica, I need a favor night." Just in front of where Veronica has paused, a customer approaches the counter with his empty cup. BRITT: Excuse me. Can I get some hel- The man behind the counter is busy and ignores him. BRITT: Wow, so who do you got to know to get some help around here? As he turns, Veronica is there, coffee pot in hand. VERONICA: Veronica Mars, apparently. She grabs his cup and starts to fill it. On stage, Lars has thankfully done. KARAOKE DJ: Thanks, Lars. There's a smattering of applause. KARAOKE DJ: That was Lars, everyone. Lars is almost overcome with emotion as he waves at the crowd. KARAOKE DJ: Next up, Britt. BRITT: Hey, thanks, Veronica. Britt heads for the stage. Various voices shout "Whoo!" and "Yeah!" around the room. Britt slides off his jacket, leaving it on one of the tables. BRITT: Make it B-17. GIRL: Yeah, Britt! MAN: Go, Britt! Britt - in real life, Britt Daniel, lead singer of Spoon - picks up the mike as the intro to Elvis Costello's "Veronica" plays. He starts to sing. Really well. BRITT: [singing] Is it all in that pretty little head of yours What goes on in that place in the dark? Well, I used to know a girl and I could have sworn That her name was Veronica Lars' date is transfixed by Britt's performance, a tear running down her cheek. Lars stares at her as she stares at Britt. BRITT: [singing] And she used to have a carefree mind of her own And a delicate look in her eye Shown up again by a much better singer, Lars throws up his hand in disgust and walks away. BRITT: [singing] These days I'm afraid she's not even sure If her name is Veronica Britt continues his performance in the background as Veronica, order pad and pencil in hand, approaches Weevil. BRITT: [singing] Do you suppose, that waiting hands on eyes, Veronica has gone to hide? VERONICA: And how can I help you, sir? WEEVIL: I need a favor. VERONICA: Ah, a favor. One of our specialties. BRITT: [singing] And all the time she laughs at those who shout her name and steal her clothes WEEVIL: I need you to bug the confessional at St. Mary's Church. Veronica's eyes widen momentarily. VERONICA: Um...I'm sorry, that's not on our menu. BRITT: [singing] Veronica VERONICA: Maybe you should try "you're crazy" down the street? BRITT: [singing] Veronica LOGAN: [offscreen] It's not just for him. Veronica looks over at the next table, surprised to see Logan. Her eyes narrow. VERONICA: Isn't this a very odd coincidence...Or, wait - BRITT: [singing] Did the days drag by? Did the favours wane? Did he roam down the town all the time? VERONICA: Are you guys, like, roomies now and he ate your peanut butter and now you're not speaking? Weevil drops his head, stoically bearing up to the sarcasm. LOGAN: Funny you should bring up roomies, as I just lost one. BRITT: [singing] Well it was all of sixty-five years ago When the world was the street where she lived LOGAN: I don't suppose you can help me find where Duncan disappeared. BRITT: [singing] And a young man sailed on a ship in the sea With a picture of Veronica VERONICA: Ooh, sorry, one favor per customer. WEEVIL: Uh, yeah, can we stay focused here? 'Cause if we're seen together by the wrong people, that would be bad... BRITT: [singing] On the empress of India Weevil brings his cup to his mouth, still keeping his head down. Veronica grins with revelation. VERONICA: So, this is sneaking. BRITT: [singing] And as she closed her eyes upon the world Weevil blows out a long breath and rolls his eyes. VERONICA: I've got a pantomime horse disguise you could use. Do either of you have any experience being a horse's ass? LOGAN: Yeah, I'm glad my misfortunes amuse you. BRITT: [singing] Picked upon the bones of last week's news She spoke his name out loud again LOGAN: Look, that church is the only place the Fitzpatricks and the PCHers hang together. WEEVIL: And the priest is a Fitzpatrick. It must be where they're getting the drugs to the traitor in the PCHers. BRITT: [singing] Do you suppose, that waiting hands on eyes, LOGAN: Who's probably the one who killed Felix. BRITT: [singing] Veronica has gone to hide? LOGAN: Look, Veronica. BRITT: [singing] And all the time she laughs at those who shout her name and steal her clothes Logan sighs heavily. LOGAN: Can you just once save my ass without comment? Veronica sighs and stares at him for a moment, until... BRITT: [singing] Veronica ...her attention is drawn to the music. BRITT: [singing] Mmm, Veronica Veronica seems to draw something from this, a sense of who she is. She smiles and turns back to face Logan and Weevil. VERONICA: No. Because saving your ass with comment, it just...it works better for me. BRITT: [singing] Did the days drag by? Did the favours wane? VERONICA: I will not bug a confessional. BRITT: [singing] Did he roam down the town all the time? VERONICA: Video, maybe, but no sound. BRITT: [singing] Will you wake from your dream, with a wolf at the door... LAMB: [offscreen] What did you mean by... INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Keith is listening to one of the interview tapes as he dunks a cookie in a glass of milk. LAMB: [offscreen on tape] ..."it smelled"? DICK: [offscreen on tape] Dude, it smelled like the ass of something that died. FLASHBACK: INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Dick is in one of the interview rooms with Lamb. LAMB: And you can't say what it was? DICK: I'm not, like, a professional smell-ologist. It stank. So I got a limo. LAMB: You ever heard of the name David Moran, sometimes known as Curly? DICK: Curly? Sure. Worked on my dad's Aston Martin. Guy was a trip. END FLASHBACK. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Keith has a pad of paper in front him, ready to take notes. He brushes off crumbs as he listens to the next tape. LAMB: [offscreen on tape] Where you aware of a bad smell? BEAVER: [offscreen on tape] Yeah, i-it was really bad. Keith jots down a note on the pad. FLASHBACK: INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Beaver is now the one in the interview rooms with Lamb. BEAVER: You know, Dick, he said that we should get a limo, and I think that was, like, his first good idea ever, so... Beaver laughs nervously. LAMB: Name Curly mean anything to you? BEAVER: Uh, the mechanic? Lamb nods. BEAVER: Yeah, yeah, I met him, you know, but, uh, well, my dad, he went to the shop, he usually just took my brother, cars being, you know, man stuff. END FLASHBACK. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Veronica enters the apartment looking tired and vaguely harassed. KEITH: Hey, honey. How was work? She sighs deeply and leans back against the wall. VERONICA: Interesting. And how was your day? She pushes off the wall and joins him in the kitchen. Keith is sorting out some food. KEITH: Also interesting. I had a thought about the rat. VERONICA: Hmm...that you could make his lips and feet into hot dogs? I think somebody beat you to that one. Keith places a hot dog into a bun. KEITH: You thought it was a sign, a message to you, "You are a rat"? What if we were just being too...fancy and sophisticated? He drops the plate with the hot dog on the counter as Veronica laughs. VERONICA: That'd be a first. KEITH: I mean too...symbolic. What does a dead rat do? VERONICA: Besides smell? KEITH: A dead rat's only talent - it smells. Bad enough to drive anyone who could afford another ride off the bus. I'm just saying, keep in mind, honey: you're not the only possible reason that that bus crashed. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. Veronica closes her locker. VERONICA VOICEOVER: It always was a weird coincidence. The rich kids lived, the poor kids died. Veronica watches as Dick sneaks up behind a lowly student and pulls him up by the back of his jeans. Dick's crowd find this incredibly funny as the student cries out in pain at the wedgie. VERONICA VOICEOVER: But why would someone want to kill all the poor kids? Despite Dad's best efforts, I still feel like I'm the only target that makes sense. Wallace walks towards her. They carry on up the hallway together. VERONICA: So, the drive-through guy? WALLACE: Guy. Veronica is confused. WALLACE: Guy Abrutti. That's his name. Nathan tracked him. Twenty-six, Caucasian, worked at White Castle for a year. VERONICA: That's great! Right? Why aren't you smiling? They pause. WALLACE: Guy Abrutti hasn't come into work for the last three days. Nobody's seen him since. Surveillance video's gone and Guy's gone. VERONICA: Uncle Rucker got to him. WALLACE: Probably bought him off, just like the other guys. Got any other ideas? Veronica frowns. INT - ST. MARY'S CHURCH - DAY. An organ plays ponderously as the camera drops down from the vaulted ceiling. Someone is sitting in one of the pews of the all-but-empty church. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Confession at St. Mary's is four to six, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, with bugging hours just preceding. Veronica walks slowly up the aisle. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Do I feel guilty? Yes. She pauses, the rose window behind her framing her face. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Fortunately, that's what this place was made for. As she stares forward, a priest comes up behind her. They glance at each other as he passes by her. VERONICA VOICEOVER: At least Weevil was right about one thing. Father Patrick Fitzpatrick does look rather unecclesiastical. Definitely the priest I want on my side in a teen knife fight. Veronica goes to the end of the church, putting a bill in the box. She grabs a taper and lights a candle. She moves on to a statue of Mary, in front of which an elderly woman is praying on her knees. Veronica stands behind the woman and folds her hands in prayer. VERONICA: I'm...really sorry about this. She takes a deep breath. The woman looks back at her, slightly offended. Veronica wilts a little, glances back at the statue, and then moves away. Cut to moments later as Veronica plants a very small camera at the top of the inside of the confessional booth. She pushes a button and a red light activates. She backs away, seen through the eye of the camera, as she reaches up to make adjustments. VERONICA: I'm going to hell. It's that simple. I am going straight to hell. FATHER PATRICK: Confession hasn't quite started yet but... Veronica is startled by the voice from the other side of the grill and looks back at the camera furtively. FATHER PATRICK:...what makes you say that? She improvises, kneeling before the grill. VERONICA: Um, well, I've done some things that probably aren't quite, you know, on the up-and-up, God-wise. FATHER PATRICK: I see. Is there an example of this? VERONICA: Sometimes when I know someone is bad I do improper things. FATHER PATRICK: Like what? VERONICA: Like...trying to prove to the world that they're bad and get them punished. FATHER PATRICK: Yes. I know the feeling, actually. VERONICA: You do? FATHER PATRICK: I wasn't always on the up-and-up god-wise myself. But I worked at it. There's a passage, Romans 12:19. "Vengeance is mine. I will repay, sayeth the Lord." VERONICA: Yeah, I see now. I-I guess I should just probably be a better person. Thanks- Veronica tries to scurry away but is halted by his words. FATHER PATRICK: "Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him. If he thirst, give him drink. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." That might be something for you to think about. Veronica stares at the priest through the grill. Moments later, she exits the booth and hurries up the side aisle. She passes another worshipper, sitting alone in one of the pews. About ten rows behind him, she places the camera's storage device at the back of one of the pews and leaves the church. EXT - L.A. STREET - NIGHT. Veronica joins an anxious Wallace. They walk together up the street, heading for a house on the other side of the road. WALLACE: Man, I practically peed myself waiting on you. Where have you been? VERONICA: Nowhere. But if God asks, I was with you. WALLACE: You're sure Rashard's gonna be here? VERONICA: I heard him talking in the limo. This frat-party thing was at the top of his to-do list. All we got to do is blend in, ease through the door, and get you in a room alone with him, so just hold it in. The large house is decorated with red Christmas-style lights, wrapped around the banisters and columns of the veranda, and around the windows. People are crowded on the stairs and veranda. WALLACE: What fraternity did you say this was? VERONICA: Alpha Rho something. They pause in the street. WALLACE: Alpha Rho Nu? A black fraternity. They look up at the house again. All the people spilling out of the house are black. Veronica grins. WALLACE: Part of us isn't blending in. VERONICA: I'll just - I'll be in the car. Okay? Veronica play-punches Wallace in the arm as she turns to go back to her car. Wallace smiles and heads into the house. INT - ALPHA RHO NU FRATERNITY HOUSE - NIGHT. The music that could faintly be heard in the street is loud in the house. Music: "Shine More" by Sarah Pires. LYRICS: Boy, I'm catching up on you For all the things you put me through Nothing else that you could say No, no, no Is gonna make me {?} Boy, I'm catching up on you For all the things you put me through I'm catching up on you, yeah. Every little thing, everything you do Sooner or later Wallace threads his way through the party-goers, who are exclusively black. He sees Rashard dancing with a couple of girls. WALLACE: Rashard. Rashard! Rashard's smile fades when he sees Wallace. WALLACE: Can I talk to you? Rashard stares at him for a moment, then addresses the group around him. RASHARD: Yo, excuse me a sec, man. MAN: A'ight. RASHARD: Let's go. Rashard leads Wallace into a relatively quiet room. RASHARD: What are you doing here, man? WALLACE: You know what I'm doing here. Look, man, I'm just as freaked out about what happened as you, but there was a right thing to do and a wrong thing to do, and WE picked wrong. RASHARD: It was an accident, man, end of story. WALLACE: [incredulous] End of story? Your uncle's about to have me thrown in jail, man. Yeah, it was an accident, but the truth is the truth, and you can't just walk away from that. I'm telling you this as your friend, Rashard. I mean, we were friends, right? RASHARD: Yeah. I mean, that's what I thought. WALLACE: Right. So, can't we figure out- RASHARD: But then you got to come and try to rat me out like that. Man, I don't even know- WALLACE: What? Rashard, it's not like that. RASHARD: No? Okay, then what is it like? Huh? You know how hard I worked for this. You know how much I got on the line right now? WALLACE: Fifty million over the first five years if I read it right. But, Rashard, I came to talk to you, man, not your uncle. RASHARD: Man, this IS me, man! Yo, and if you want to mess with me, bring it on. 'Cause I'll hit you back FIFTY million times harder. Why don't you just go home, man? Get out of my life. Rashard barges past a disappointed Wallace, thumping him hard in the shoulder. End music: "Shine More" by Sarah Pires. Music: "See The Sun" by Scavone. [SCENE_BREAK] LYRICS: See the light, rappers rap glamorous {?} Yo this is all that we've got and you will never know If this was all for the top or not Everybody on this planet want to see the sun, Everybody want to know where you're coming from Everybody on this planet want to see the sun, Everybody want to know where you're coming from After a little time, Wallace follows Rashard out of the smaller side room, dejected. He walks into the main room. He sees Rashard being flirty with a girl, as they lounge on a couple of the chairs pushed back against the wall. The girl is Jackie. She looks up at Wallace and laughs. JACKIE: Wallace? WALLACE: What are you doing? JACKIE: I'm at a party. What does it look like? What's wrong? WALLACE: Stay away from this guy, seriously. Jackie stands and pulls her hair back from her ear, leaning forward in a show of trying to hear him better. JACKIE: What? RASHARD: [derisively] Yeah, you know this guy? WALLACE: [forcefully] Yeah, she know me. She know me well enough to take my word and just go. Come on. He reaches out for her arm. She jerks away JACKIE: [angry] God, Wallace, when did who I talk to at a party become your business? WALLACE: Come on. Jackie, let's just go. JACKIE: So, what, you own me? You know, it might have been nice if you would have maybe returned one of my phone calls when you were in Chicago, filled me in on this new development. Rashard slowly rises from his seat. RASHARD: Hey, um, Jackie, is this guy bothering you? JACKIE: Yes, he's starting to. RASHARD: Okay. Rashard calls out to a couple of guys wearing APN tee-shirts, jackets and/or baseball caps. RASHARD: Hey, hey, we got a party foul over here. The guys come up behind Wallace. RASHARD: This little man here is, uh, messin' with my special lady friend. Jackie glares at Wallace and notes Rashard's arm around her shoulder. MAN: Yeah? They grab Wallace and pull him backwards. WALLACE: Hey, man, watch out. Hey, come on, man! He's not even from Alpha Rho Nu! Jackie watches, concerned now. Rashard laughs and she returns her attention to him. RASHARD: All right. How about we enjoy this party, huh? Jackie laughs. JACKIE: This party's kind of over for me. Wallace is still shouting in the background, struggling with the two bigger men. JACKIE: You know what? I do know a really good club in Hollywood. We could have a really good time. RASHARD: Damn...Well, ah, you know, my uncle told me I had to stick around here for a while and just- JACKIE: Oh, is he here? Maybe I can ask for his permission. RASHARD: Okay, I- Rashard looks over Jackie's head and watches at a protesting Wallace is shoved into a closet. WALLACE: Wait a minute...It wasn't me, anyway! I was... The door slams shut behind him and a chair is shoved under the handle. One of the guys sits in the chair. Wallace's shouts can still be heard. WALLACE: Come on, man! Let me out the closet! Come on, man! RASHARD: You know what? I call my own shots. Let's go. Jackie smiles and chuckles. EXT - ALPHA RHO NU FRATERNITY HOUSE - NIGHT. Outside, it's raining. Veronica watches the house from the comfort of the LeBaron. She rouses from her boredom when she sees Jackie and Rashard exit the house and get into Jackie's sports car parked in front. Veronica smiles, shakes her head and starts the engine. End music: "See The Sun" by Scavone. INT - ALPHA RHO NU FRATERNITY HOUSE - NIGHT. Music: "Better Than That" by Hadas. LYRICS: ...it's an act Don't think I don't see I know you better than that My friends don't believe That you're feeling me They think I'm naïve But you know me better than that Don't keep on holding back I know it's an act Don't think I don't see I know you better than that My friends don't believe That you're feeling me They think I'm naïve You know me better than that Wallace has been let out of the closet. He walks though the house and sees Monte, talking frantically into his cell phone. Monte spots him. MONTE: What the hell are you doing here? WALLACE: Man, I came to talk to your neph- MONTE: Look. He's a good boy with a lot on his mind, and he doesn't need a little rat like you messing with his head. Now, you want to talk to someone, you talk to me. Better yet, you just keep your mouth shut. You see what happens when you open it. Now where is he? WALLACE: Well, apparently he left the party with my ex-girlfriend. But you're right, Uncle Monte, he is a good boy. Wallace walks around Monte to leave. MONTE: Where'd she take him? Wallace pauses, turns back and laughs. WALLACE: You know, this might actually be fun. I know where she likes to go. End music: "Better Than That" by Hadas. INT - CLUB THIN - NIGHT. Music: "Ego Trips" by the Catalogue. LYRICS: You're so selfish You're so vain I can hear you hogging all the blame Yeah, I told you life was a game You could never play Driving me crazy, Your mind is going to get the better of you Ego trips, they're so ridiculous They're ridiculous Well I said those ego trips, they're so ridiculous It's ridiculous The rain was falling on my bed The club DJ primes a record. It's busy with people drinking at the bar, talking on cells, making out and generally having a good time. At the entrance, patrons are required to put their metal items in a small tray before going through a metal detector. Jackie and Rashard arrive and enter the club. EXT - CLUB THIN - NIGHT. Outside, a taxi pulls up and the door swings open before it even stops. Monte gets out, eyeing the club. He holds up his cell, either to check the address or take a picture, and heads in. INT - CLUB THIN - NIGHT Monte stands in the queue for the metal detector. DEPUTY BOUNCER: Place all metal objects here. Monte drops in his keys and his cell phone into the tray, held by Deputy Bouncer. As Deputy Bouncer pulls back out of sight and walks down to the other side of the metal detector, he palms the cell, replacing it with an identical phone. Monte is already waiting and gestures impatiently. DEPUTY BOUNCER: Have a good time. Monte takes his items and disappears into the club. Deputy Bounty watches him go and then heads for a small alcove near the entrance. Veronica is waiting. He hands her the phone. VERONICA: Great. Thanks, deputy. DEPUTY BOUNCER: No problem. Sure you don't want to stay awhile? Get a little crazy? VERONICA: Sorry. Have to get to church. The deputy, puzzled, watches her go. End music: "Ego Trips" by the Catalogue. INT - ST. MARY'S CHURCH - NIGHT. Veronica is in the dark and empty church. She glances around and then drops to retrieve the camera's storage unit. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Veronica plugs the unit into her laptop. VERONICA VOICEOVER: It's always an uncomfortable moment, seeing the façade come off a supposedly good person. For instance, seeing the priest who quoted you Romans 12:19 in a rather pleasant voice distributing drugs to his crime-lord brother through the confessional. On screen, Liam Fitzpatrick is kneeling in the confessional. Veronica peers more closely at the screen. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Wait, where's the distributing? There's supposed to be distributing. INT - NHS, CLASSROOM - DAY. The computer classroom seems empty as Veronica races in, until the camera pulls back to reveal Weevil, sitting, waiting and fed up. Veronica, grabbing the seat next to him, takes out and starts to unwrap the cord from the camera unit. WEEVIL: First you make me come in early, which is something I never do, and then you're late. Fortunately I found this video online. This guy gets his whole head stuck up an elephant's- VERONICA: Fascinating, I'm sure, but I think you'd rather see this. Veronica plugs the unit into the computer in front of which Weevil is sitting. VERONICA: So, Father Patrick, scary looking? Yes. Evil, no. On screen, Liam is in the confessional, clutching a hymnal close to his chest. He puts it down under the bottom edge of the grill. VERONICA: Brother Liam, on the other hand...I had to watch it twice to get how they worked it, but keep your eye on Liam's hymnal. Veronica fast-forwards the video. Liam leaves. Another two men come and go in quick succession. VERONICA: So, the Lord giveth... Thumper enters the confessional. Veronica slows the film. VERONICA: ...and the stooge taketh away. Thumper takes the hymnal. Weevil stares at the screen. WEEVIL: Thumper. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - DAY. Wallace picks up half of a rather unappetizing-looking curled-up sandwich. He stares at it for a moment and then drops it back onto the table. VERONICA: [offscreen] Why don't you call for pizza? A hand holding a cell phone appears in front of him. He takes it. Veronica sits at the table next to him. WALLACE: Is this... VERONICA: Uncle Monte's Rucker's super-phone in which his entire universe of information is stored? Yes. Wallace grins. VERONICA: If he's paying off Guy Abrutti, there's got to be a number in there somewhere. The call log goes back four days. Just email all the numbers to your dad and let the police work ensue. WALLACE: Damn. Up high, V. Mars. Wallace holds up his hand for a high-five. Veronica obliges. Jackie, smiling, approaches the table. JACKIE: Hey. They look up at her. Her smile fades. Veronica and Wallace glance at each other. JACKIE: What? Don't I get some? She holds up her hand. Veronica grins, as does Wallace who reaches up to give her a high-five. Jackie laughs as she slaps Wallace's palm. JACKIE: Ah. Veronica holds up hers and they slap hands. Jackie giggles as she joins them at the table. JACKIE: How'd I do? VERONICA: From what I heard? Whew, ice bitch. WALLACE: Oh, yeah, she was good. Poor Rashard. Kid never had a chance. JACKIE: It's a dubious talent, but snagging guys has always been a breeze. She looks pointedly at Wallace. JACKIE: It's holding on to the good ones that's tricky. Wallace responds with a bit of a chuckle. Veronica looks away. JACKIE: So what do you think, Wallace, are you maybe free this weekend? JANE: [offscreen] Hey, Wallace. Jackie's head whips around. Jane, last seen sneezing her way out of the SexEd class in 209 "My Mother, the Fiend" and before that lusting for Wallace in 202 "Driver's Ed," approaches the table. JANE: We still on for tomorrow after the game? WALLACE: Oh, yeah, ma'am. Veronica half sighs, half chortles and drops her head in her hand. Jane grins at Wallace and walks away. She smiles ruefully. Wallace shrugs. VERONICA: If I could control him, I would. EXT - INDUSTRIAL SITE - NIGHT. Weevil's bike slowly drives along a dark, wet road, turning into some sort of construction site. The gang, their bikes lined up opposite him, are waiting. Weevil pulls up and takes off his helmet. HECTOR: Weevil, what's up, man? Weevil climbs off his bike. He walks towards the line of bikers. WEEVIL: Here's what's up. There's a traitor amongst us. Someone who signed up with the Fitzpatricks to deal drugs and break the rules. He stops in front of Thumper. WEEVIL: And I don't like it when people break the rules. Do I, Thumper? Thumper stays silent but isn't surprised or intimated. WEEVIL: You got anything to say? THUMPER: Yeah. So what? Weevil, on the other hand, is surprised by his reaction. THUMPER: So what if we want to make some money selling dope to rich white boys? Is that such a bad thing? I don't think so. WEEVIL: What do you mean, "we"? Do you got a mouse in your pocket? THUMPER: I mean we like the rest of us. Thumper holds out his arms, indicating the rest of the gang. Weevil looks along the line. WEEVIL: Right. [angry] The Fitzpatricks made Felix's brother disappear! The Reaper, your old leader! And now you want to go work for them? THUMPER: Let me make sure I got this straight. Working with our enemies, you got a problem with that? WEEVIL: You bet I do. THUMPER: Then maybe you can tell us what you were doing meeting at the Neptune Grand with Logan Echolls. Weevil drops and shakes his head. HECTOR: And you were gonna bust me up for selling to an 09er last week. THUMPER: Hector's cousin works maintenance there. He saw you, all buddy-buddy with the piece of trash who killed Felix. Weevil knows he's been out-played. THUMPER: You're right, there's rules. Like not selling out your brothers. I'm not like you, Weevil. I don't make good speeches, so I'm just gonna say, adios. Hope that covers it. The gang have circled Weevil during Thumper's tirade. They grab hold and start to jostle him. WEEVIL: Hey, hold on, man. Cut to a little while later. Thumper stands on a gantry, overlooking the scene. Weevil is hanging from the end of a large pulley, bound by ropes around his wrists. He's already taken some blows and blood flows from a cut near his left eye. As the rest of the gang stand around Weevil, another biker punches him hard in the face. THUMPER: Okay, that's enough. Get outta here. The bikers start to disperse. One grabs Weevil around the waist as another lifts the rope off of the pulley. They let Weevil, still bound, fall to the ground. BIKER: Adios, man. The majority of the bikers get on their bikes and ride away, leaving Hector and Thumper at the scene. Hector looks troubled as he gazes down at Weevil who is trying to raise himself from the ground. THUMPER: Take Weevil's bike, drive it into the ocean. I'll pick you up and bring you back. Hector stares at Weevil a moment longer before slowly walking towards Weevil's bike. Thumper appears to stand over Weevil as the sound of Weevil's bike fades. Weevil groans as he continues to try and lift himself up. He looks up at Thumper, who is smirking down at him. WEEVIL: You lied all along, didn't you? That night on the bridge, you were there. You killed Felix, didn't you? THUMPER: That's an interesting theory, Eli. But before you think about spreading it around, I think you should see something. He holds out his cell. THUMPER: Remember this? He has video on his phone. It's tagged with the number V0015_11302005 (wrong date?). It appears to show Weevil beating up Curly Moran. THUMPER: That night you nearly kicked Curly's head in? On the mini-screen, Weevil kicks the head of the supine Curly. THUMPER: So I'd keep my mouth shut, 'cause you probably don't want this getting around to, say, the cops, do you? Weevil gives Thumper a furtive look. THUMPER: Didn't think so. Thumper walks away, leaving Weevil on the ground. Thumpers's bike roars away. INT - HOTEL. Music: "Jump Around" by House of Pain. LYRICS: Jump around. Jump around. Jump around. Jump up, jump up and get down. Jump, jump, jump, jump Everybody jump, jump, jump, jump Jump, jump, jump, jump Everybody jump, jump, jump, jump Jump, jump, jump, jump I'll serve your ass like John MacEnroe If your steps up, I'm smacking the ho Word to your moms I came to drop bombs I got more rhymes than the bible's got psalms And just like the Prodigal Son I've returned Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned Cause I got lyrics and you ain't got none So if you come to battle bring a shotgun But if you do you're a fool, cause I duel to the death Try and step to me you'll take your last breath I gots the skill, come get your fill Cause when I shoot ta give, I shoot to kill I came to get down I came to get down So get out your seats and jump around Jump around Jump around Jump around Jump up Jump up and get down. Jump, jump, jump, jump A dork carrying a bottle of champagne, dances into the main room of a large hotel suite, pantsless. He's jumping and singing to the music. Two girls sitting on the plush couch are not impressed and cast each other a "Oh dear god, why are we here?" look. Guy finally notices that they are not having a good time. ABRUTTI: Come on, ladies. Don't be shy. One of the girls takes a sip of her champagne to relieve the boredom. ABRUTTI: You want more champagne? I'm on it. Room service, whatever you want. Chicken fingers, cake, fine cheeses, just name it, 'cause you are very special ladies, and I'm on someone else's tab. He grins, blind to their indifference. There's a knock on the door. ABRUTTI: See? Hah! I think it, it happens. He races to the door, grabbing a wad of bills out of a bag stuffed full of money, set on a table near the door. ABRUTTI: Greetings, kind sir. He pulls the door open. It's Nathan looking very scary. He holds up his badge as he strides purposefully into the room. NATHAN: Guy Abrutti? Guy's body is no impediment to Nathan's relentless forward movement. Nathan puts his hand on Guy's chest pushing him backwards. NATHAN: I need to know some things. He brings them both to a stop when he sees the money. NATHAN: Oh...did you get this money from Monte Rucker? Did you, uh... Nathan snatches the bills from Guy's hand. NATHAN: ...take it in exchange for your silence as a witness? And do you remember Rashard Rucker at the wheel of a red Hummer on the night of December 14th? Guy is intimidated and about to spill his guts. End music: "Jump Around" by House of Pain. INT - SCHOOL BUS - DAY. Music: "I Summon You" by Spoon. LYRICS: Remember the weight of the world It's a sound that we used to buy On cassette and 45 And now this little girl She says will we make it at all Eight-- The bus is fairly full and the camera glides up the aisle, taking in the faces. Towards the back, in a seat on his own, is Weevil. He is not a happy bunny. He swallows hards as the bus pulls to a stop. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - DAY. Weevil gets off the bus. His face bears the marks of his beating. He heads towards school and a small group comprising Dick and three other 09ers. They spot him and start to laugh. Dick points and takes a breath, about to quip. WEEVIL: Open your mouth and you're losing every one of those teeth. Weevil walks past them as Dick slaps his hand over his mouth. With his other hand, he makes a dickhead sign on his forehead. Dick and the guys with him laugh. End music: "I Summon You" by Spoon. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. The cheerleaders are shaking their pompoms as they head into the gym. A lot of the basketball team are loitering. Wallace is talking up another player. WALLACE: You got time, you got time. The player shakes Wallace's hand and walks away as Veronica arrives to stand next to Wallace. WALLACE: Hey. You made it. Inside the gym, the stomp-stomp-clap (tm Queen) has started. VERONICA: You know, I read that article in Scientific American about the pep rally effect, and I thought, "hey, if it's science." WALLACE: Hey, I told you everything would be good. A cell phone in Wallace's pocket rings. He reaches for it. He looks at the number and laughs. He answers, in jovial mood. WALLACE: Hey, there, Monte. Wallace grins at Veronica, who steps closer in interest. WALLACE: Yeah, I don't know I got this thing. Just came across it. Veronica laughs. WALLACE: Yeah, sorry to hear about your legal troubles, but that can happen when you open your mouth. Veronica gasps slightly at Wallace's daring. WALLACE: My advice? Keep it shut, Uncle Rucker. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got me a pep rally. Wallace hands the phone to Veronica, laughing. WALLACE: Now that was good. VERONICA: [giggling] Yeah. They head into the gym. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Keith is listening to the tapes again, sitting at the counter. Behind him the TV is on. LAMB: [offscreen on tape] You ever heard the name Curly Moran, worked at Symbolic Motors? FLASHBACK: INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Gia Goodman is now in the interrogation room. GIA: My dad went there. That guy Curly was the only guy around that knew how to fix my Fiat. LAMB: And were you aware of anything strange about the bus? GIA: Other than, like, it smelled like something gross and dead? LAMB: That's why you didn't take the bus home? The smell? GIA: Actually, my dad told me not to. I mean, he must have been totally psychic... END FLASHBACK. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Veronica enters the apartment. Keith doesn't immediately notice, even when she shuts the door none too quietly behind her, and continues to concentrate on the tape. GIA: [offscreen on tape] ...or something, because he was like, "don't get on the bus." And then those guys got a limo, so... Keith finally realises Veronica is there when she walks past him. He quickly pulls the earphones from his ears. Veronica has walked over to the television. KEITH: I didn't see you come in. VERONICA: Didn't I tell you to turn off the TV if you're not watching it? KEITH: I get lonely when you're out with all your fancy friends and I'm here by myself with nothing. Keith joins her, standing in front of the television. KEITH: Did we win? Veronica gasps in an exaggerated fashion. VERONICA: Yes, thanks to Wallace Fennel's eighteen points and ten rebounds! Keith whistles, mightily impressed. In the background, the news is starting. NEWSCASTER: [offscreen] This is the Channel Thirteen News Break. In a surprising development, Balboa County Sheriff Don Lamb... Keith's ears prick up. Veronica has the remote in her hand and is about to turn it off. KEITH: Wait. They watch the breaking news together. NEWSCASTER: ...questions baseball legend Terrence Cook... A picture of Lamb escorting a camera-shy Terrence Cook is put up on the screen behind the newscaster's head. NEWSCASTER: ...in connection with the Neptune High bus crash that claimed the lives of seven people. Veronica and Keith stare at the screen, shocked. NEWSCASTER: [offscreen] Details tonight at eleven. End.	Plan: A: Wallace; Q: Who reveals Rashard's hit-and-run? A: Rashard's hit-and-run, Rashard; Q: What does Wallace reveal? A: witnesses; Q: What do Rashard and his uncle produce to prove Wallace was the driver? A: Weevil; Q: Who is the investigator who finds out that Thumper was working with the Fitzpatricks? A: Veronica's help; Q: Who helps Weevil investigate the Fitzpatricks? A: Thumper; Q: Who organizes a coup against Weevil? A: the PCHers; Q: Who beat Weevil and threw his motorcycle into the ocean? A: his motorcycle; Q: What did the PCHers throw into the ocean? A: Gia; Q: Who was Woody's daughter? A: the school bus; Q: What did Woody tell his daughter not to ride the day of the bus crash? A: the bus crash; Q: What event did Veronica discover Woody told his daughter not to ride the bus the day of? Summary: When Wallace reveals Rashard's hit-and-run, Rashard and his uncle turn the tables by producing witnesses who will testify that Wallace was the driver. Weevil investigates the Fitzpatricks with Veronica's help, and finds out that it was Thumper who was working with them. However, Thumper organizes a coup against Weevil, and the PCHers beat him and throw his motorcycle into the ocean. Veronica discovers that Woody told his daughter Gia not to ride the school bus the day of the bus crash.
[KLAUS'S HOUSE] ELIJAH: You look surprised to see me. So it wasn't you that removed the dagger from my chest? KLAUS: You look like you could do with a drink. And we have a lot to discuss, so shall we? (Elijah attacks him; Klaus flies through a window) KLAUS: Easy. I just finished renovating. You know you have every right to be mad at me. But I kept my word, I reunited you with our family. (Elijah attacks him again, Klaus undaggers Kol and threatens Elijah with the dagger) KLAUS: Don`t make me do this to you again Elijah! ELIJAH: Come on. Use it. I dare you. You'll have Kol to deal with. KLAUS: Mikael is dead. ELIJAH: What did you say? KLAUS: I killed him. With his own weapon. He's gone Elijah. Forever. ELIJAH: Why do our family remain in these coffins? Finn for over 900 years, Kol for over a century. KLAUS: Because of Stefan Salvatore. He holds the one thing keeping me from freeing them. There are things that you do not know about our past, Elijah. Our mother's death. Things I never wanted you to know but I`m ready to tell you now. I only ask that you remember the oath of loyalty you once swore to me. ELIJAH: What are you doing? (Klaus daggers Kol again) KLAUS: Always and forever. I need you to stand by my side. Be my brother. Help me destroy Stefan and I promise you our family will be whole again. (Klaus closes Kol`s coffin lid) GILBERT HOUSE ELENA: Morning ALARIC: Thought we had aspirin. ELENA: Yeah in the vitamins. You`re hungover. ALARIC: Yeah, sorry about that, it was a bit of a weird night. ELENA: I told you you don`t have to feel guilty about inviting Meredith over here. ALARIC: Oh I know. And I thank you for that. But I do feel guilty for whiskey dialing her at two in the a.m. ELENA: No you didn`t. ALARIC: Oh, yes I did. ELENA: Oh, was she cool about it? ALARIC: Well, as soon as these aspirin kick in and I remember the conversation, I'll let you know. GILBERT PORCH (Sheriff Forbes rings the doorbell and is waiting outside; Elena opens the door) ELENA: Sheriff Forbes, hi. Is everything OK? LIZ: This is an unconventional conversation we`re about to have. So I hope you`ll protect me on it. ALARIC: Of course. LIZ: I assume you both heard our medical examiner was murdered the night of the Wickery Bridge fundraiser. ALARIC: Yeah. Brian Walters. Why? LIZ: We`ve been investigating. Someone drove this stake through his heart. ALARIC: That`s one of ours. I mean this is one of a set from your parents lake house. LIZ: That`s why I`m here. I haven`t told anyone but forensics ran it for prints and found only one clean set. (She looks at Elena) LIZ: Yours ELENA: What? AT A MEADOW IN THE WOODS (Damon and Elena talk on the phone) DAMON: So you`re the prime suspect, huh? ELENA: She doesn`t think that I did it. She`s just tryin` to find out why somebody used one of my family weapons to kill a council member. DAMON: Well why don`t you just ask Ric if his dirty little doctor had access to the weapons. ALARIC: You`re on speaker phone, dick. DAMON: I`m just sayin` first suspects usually the right one. Don`t get so defensive. ALARIC: Brian Walters was killed days ago, right? I didn`t show Meredith this stuff until last night! ELENA: It wasn`t Meredith. DAMON: But Brian Walters was her ex-boyfriend and Ric saw them fighting that night. ELENA: It`s not Meredith! Okay? I refuse to believe that your luck with women is that tragic. DAMON: Who else knows about your secret little slayer stash? ALARIC: Who doesn't? Got weapons everywhere, here, the school, my loft, your car. DAMON: It's Klaus, it has to be, he's screwing with us. ELENA: What if it was Stefan? He was crazy that night, and you know he was trying to get underneath Klaus's skin, he was capable of pretty much anything. DAMON: Ahh, make's me nostalgic for the time that Stefan was a bunny snacking pacifict, anyway got to go, you'll know more later. ALARIC: Hey, where are you? DAMON: Tea with an old friend. DAMON: Elijah, my favorite original, back from the dead. Clean up nice. ELIJAH: You left something, in my jacket pocket. (Elijah pulls out a note) DAMON: Oh, yeah. "Dear Elijah, let's get together, plot the destruction of your brother, XOXO" ELIJAH: Damon. DAMON: Was I right to undagger you or are we gonna have a problem? ELIJAH: I'm here, let's talk. DAMON: I'll start with an easy question, any idea what kind of Klaus killing weapon could be magically sealed in a mystery coffin? THE OLD LOCKWOOD SECRET CELLER (Abby, Bonnie and Stefan go to the coffin, it's in the secret cellar.) ABBY: Slow down! STEFAN: Keep up, we don't have much time. BONNIE: Sorry Stefan, but I didn't have a choice. STEFAN: It was a choice Bonnie, you made it and now we have to live with it. You told Klaus where the coffins were and he took them. All of them except this one. ABBY: That's the one that's sealed? STEFAN: Yep. Fortunately it seems to be the one he cares about most. ABBY: Aren't you coming inside? (Stefan stops at the entrance.) STEFAN: Vampires can't get in. Damon had to compelled a couple of Lockwood-Gardeners to bring the coffin in. Abby: This is a bad idea. Stefan: Look, if you're really the key to opening up that coffin, I think it's a pretty save bet you're on Klaus's hitlist.So I suggest you hideout here and figure out a way to open up the damn thing. Abby: I told you, I don't have any powers. Stefan: And I don't believe you. The time's ticking. Won't be long, before Klaus calls his hybrids to find that coffin and kill all of us. So dig deep, Abby Bennett. Scrape out whatever magic you have left. (Stefan leaves when he comes outside, Elena's waiting in the front of the entrance to the cave.) Stefan: What are you doing here? Elena: Bonnie told me that you guys would be here. I need to talk to you. Stefan: Well, there's nothing to talk about. I'm just focused on getting this coffin open. Elena: Did you kill the medical examiner? Stefan: Why would you think I did that? Elena: Maybe because I don't know what you're capable of anymore. Stefan: Well, believe what you want, Elena. Elena: I don't want to believe any of it, Stefan. Stefan: But you had to ask me anyway. Elena: Stefan... Stefan: Did you ask Damon... if he killed anybody lately? (Elena doesn't answer, Stefan leaves.) HOSPITAL (Meredith meets up with Caroline in the hallway.) Meredith: Are you Caroline? Caroline: Yes. Dr. Fell, hi. Elena told me you helped out my dad. Meredith: I did. Do you think you can get him to be a little more grateful? He spent half the night threatening to get my medical license revoked for saving his life. Caroline: Yeah, my dad's a little set in his ways. He spent his whole life hating vampires, so... Meredith: So... he's not psyched about it being vampire blood that healed him. Yeah, he made that clear. I'm sorry. my bedside manner sucks, on no sleep. Caroline: So, can I take him home? Meredith: I signed his discharge papers late last night, just to shut him up. Caroline: Oh, I... he didn't call or anything. Meredith: That's gotta be hard. When your dad hates the one thing you can't change about yourself. I make it my business, to know who the vampires are in this town. Medical curiosity. I don't blab. Caroline: Yeah, we've had our ups and downs. Meredith: Tell your dad I said you're welcome. (She leaves.) Caroline: Thanks. (She goes to Elena.) Elena: That was fast. Caroline: Yeah, he's not here. He was already discharged. And she seems perfectly nice by the way... a little intense, maybe. But... I think it's sweet, you wanna make sure Alaric's not dating a total psycho. Elena: He's my family. I have to look out for him. What? (Caroline calls her father) Caroline: I hear it. (She hears her phone of her dad.) Elena: Hear what? Caroline: My dad's phone. (They go in a storage room.) (They find Bill lifeless with a knife in his chest.) (Caroline gets on her knees beside him.) Caroline: Dad! Dad? Elena: Oh my god. Caroline: Don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead! Oh my god! (She pulls the knife out.) Caroline: Daddy! Elena: Caroline... He has vampire blood in his system. Caroline: What?! (Suddenly, Bill wakes up.) THE OLD LOCKWOOD SECRET CELLER (Bonnie looks at the signs of Klaus's family.) Bonnie: Is this the only grimoire you kept? Abby: It was the only one I needed. So... what is all of this? Bonnie: Family history. About a mother, who loved her children so much, she couldn't bear the thought she might lose them. So she turned them into vampires. One of them is Klaus. Abby: The one, you're trying to kill with whatever is in that coffin? (She nods.) Bonnie: There's nothing in here, that's going to help us. I've seen most of these spells. What was this? (She show her the rest of a demolished aite.) Abby: That was the spell I used to seal Mikael in the tomb. I burned it and tried to get it out of my head. Didn't work though. Wait... Do you see this? (Abby points to a spell on the page.) Bonnie: It's a sealing spell. We're trying to open something... Not seal it shut. Abby: No. Right here. On this side. It's a blood knot. It means, to bind it you need two genarations. A bloodline. Like... two keys to a safety deposit box. Bonnie: So... unbinding it, would reverse the spell. Unseal it. If we did it together. SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE (Damon is in Stefans room with two shirts in his hands, Stefan enters.) Damon: Get dressed. We're going out. Stefan: Yeah, sorry, not interested. Damon: I didn't ask. Elijah and I have scheculed a very old fashion sitdown with you and Klaus. I say go with the black. Makes you look all villainy. Stefan: Klaus won't make a deal, Damon. Damon: He didn't have to. All we're doing is buying a little time to give our wicked witches a chance to pop-up the top of the coffin. Stefan: So, that's your...uh...plan? Stall Klaus? Damon: If you didn't go postal on his hybrids then maybe we'd have some options. Stefan: So you unleashed an original to help him out? Damon: Undaggering Elijah was smart, Stefan. You're kidding me? After what Klaus did to him? He's in vengeance mood. Perfect. Stefan: There's nothing smart... about trusting Elijah, Damon. He screwed us over the last time he promised to help us kill Klaus. Damon: Yeah, the way you've been acting I trust him about as much as I trust you. Stefan: Hm. Well I guess that goes both ways, doesn't it? Damon: Oh yes this is aboout me kissing Elena. Just remember; if it wasn't for Klaus, you would have never become such a dick and that kiss would never have happened. So get ready and get happy. We're going to negotiate a fake truce and I don't want your attitude screwing it up. HOSPITAL (Caroline and Bill are still in the storage room.) Caroline: I compelled the nurse to stay out of this room. You'll be safe here. Bill: My wound is completely healed. I need something to eat. Caroline: Daddy, why don't you just come lay down and just relax? Bill: I can't. I'm too wired and my pulse is racing. It's the effect of my body wanting to transition. Caroline: Well, maybe Doctor Fell can give you something. Bill: She's done enough. (Elena walks in) Elena: I called your mom. Caroline: Thanks. Elena: Mr. Forbes, did you see your attacker? Bill: I didn't see anything. Tried to sneak out the back exit and someone came up from behind. Caroline: Look, we'll figure this out, but in the mean time we need to get you some blood. Bill: I'm not going to drink any blood. Elena: You have to. You died with vampire blood in your system. If you don't feed and finish the transition into a vampire then you'll die. Bill: I understand how it works. And that's what I'm prepared to do. Now get me out of this hospital. I smell blood everywhere. (He leaves.) GILBERT HOUSE (Alaric is putting his weapons on the table, Elena enters the house.) Elena: What are you doing? Alaric: Taking inventory. Did you bring it? Elena: You mean, did I steal evidence from a crime scene? Yes. (She gives him the stake.) Alaric: You're right. It's a match. This is from a crawl space in the foyer. Which means, Meredith knew where it was. Elena: That doesn't mean, she stole it. (He shows her other stakes.) Alaric: This is from the loft. These are from the duffel in Damon's car. Elena: Identical to the one that killed Brian Walters. Alaric: Damon's car was at the Wickery-Bridge fundraiser, so was Meredith. And that was the night her ex-boyfriend, the medical examiner, was killed. The one who called her psycho. Elena: Well, she was trying to save Bill Forbes, why would she turn around and try to kill him? Alaric: I don't know what to think either. You know, but... we'd be idiots to ignore all these facts. Elena: So what should we do? Alaric: Well... Get this to the police. Then you should probably be with Caroline. Elena: I'm sorry, Ric. Please be careful. (She takes the stake and leaves.) KLAUS'S HOUSE (Elijah opens the door, Stefan and Damon are standing outside.) Elijah: Niklaus, our guests have arrived. Klaus: Damon. Stefan. Elijah tells me, you seek an audience. Very bold. Let's discuss the terms of our agreement like civilised men, shall we? Elijah: It's better to indulge him. Stefan: I didn't come here to eat, Klaus. Fact, I didn't want to come here at all. But I was told, I had to cause you would hear us out. Klaus: Well, we can sit and eat or I can reach down your throats and pull out your insides. The choice is yours. (They sit at the table and are eating and drinking, all accept Stefan.) Damon: Thank you, love. Klaus: You lost your appetite. Damon: Eat. I thought we agreed that we would leave the grumpy Stefan at home. Klaus: That's the spirit. Isn't it nice? Four of us dining together? Such a treat. Is this what you had in mind when you pulled the dagger from my brother? Damon: Well, I know how he felt about you, so I figured the more, the merrier. Klaus: Well, Elijah and I have had our share of quarrels over the century. But we always make it through. Stefan: Kind of like you and Rebekah, right? Where is she, by the way? Last I checked she was still daggered because you were afraid to face her. Klaus: If you're referring to the fact that Rebekah knows I killed our mother, I've already come clean to Elijah. Damon: Hey, Stef, remember when you killed dad? Might want to dial down the judgment until dessert. Stefan: We're here to make a deal, Damon. Doesn't mean we need to kiss his ass for seven courses. Damon: I'm just saying we have a long evening ahead of us. Pace yourself. CAROLINE'S HOUSE (Elena and Caroline are sitting together on the front porch.) Elena: Did you hear back from Tyler yet? Caroline: No. And I've left messages for him everywhere. So, does Alaric really think that Dr. Fell did it? Elena: He doesn't know what to think. Caroline: What about you? Elena: I wish the girl Alaric liked wasn't in the middle of all of this. He deserves to be happy. But yeah, she looks guilty. It's why I told your mom. Caroline: My mom's in there sitting with my dad. And I don't think they've been in the same room this long since I was ten years old. Is there any chance that Tyler did it? Elena: What? Caroline: If Klaus was trying to mess with you and he's sired to Klaus. And, I mean, he does everything that he's told. Elena: No... no, I don't think Tyler did it. Caroline: I can't just let my father die. You know, I'm... I'm gonna force him to feed. Elena: Hey... he doesn't want to, Caroline. The only thing your dad has is his choice. (Caroline starts to cry.) Caroline: I hated him so much for what he did to me. So much. Now all I want to do is save his life. Elena: Of course you do, he's your dad. Caroline: What was the hardest part for you? When you lost your Dad? Elena: Realizing all the things that he wouldn't be there for. The things that... that you just need your Dad for, you know? (Elena scoots over to Caroline and holds her in her arms. Matt suddenly shows up and they both look at him.) Matt: Hey. Caroline: Hey. (She gets up and hugs Matt.) KLAUS' MANSION Elijah: Stefan. Where is the lovely Elena tonight? Stefan: I don't know. Ask Damon. (Klaus laughs.) Klaus: I'm sorry, you've missed so much. Uh- trouble in paradise. Stefan: One more word about Elena and this dinner's over. (Klaus continues to laugh silently.) Damon: You know what, probably best just to keep Elena in the do not discuss pile. Klaus: You're probably right. Damon: Yeah. Klaus: It's just the allure of the Petrova doppelgänger, still so strong. What do you say, brother? Should we tell them about Tatia? Elijah: Now why should we discuss matters long since resolved? Klaus: Well, given their shared affection for both Elena and Katerina, I think our guests might be curious to learn about the originator of the Petrova line. Damon: Well, we're not going anywhere Elijah. Please, do tell. (Damon takes a sip of wine.) Elijah: When our family first settled here, there was a girl named Tatia, she was an exquisite beauty. Every boy of age desired to be her suitor, even though she'd had a child by another man. And none loved her more than Niklaus. Klaus: I'd say there was one who loved her at least as much. Stefan: Wait a minute, so you both loved the same girl? Elijah: Our mother was a very powerful witch. She sought to end our feud over Tatia and so she took her. Klaus and I would later learn that it was Tatia's blood that we consumed in the wine on the night where our mother performed the spell which turned us into vampires. Tatia wouldn't make a decision between the two of us, so for a time Niklaus and I... grew estranged. Harsh words were traded, we even came to blows, didn't we, brother? Klaus: But in the end we realized the sacred bond of family. Elijah: Family above all. (Elijah and Klaus raise their glasses.) Klaus: Family above all. (They clink their glasses together.) [SCENE_BREAK] LOCKWOOD CELLAR (Abby and Bonnie are performing a spell over the coffin. After a minute, Bonnie takes her hands out of Abby's hands and looks at her.) Bonnie: You're not trying! We've been at this for over an hour. Abby: The spirits are angry with me. For leaving you. Maybe they didn't want me to have my powers again. Bonnie: I had all of those dreams for a reason. The spirits wanted me to find you because your my mom. It's not them, it's you. You won't open yourself up to it. You know, Dad never talked about you? And neither did Grams. I had no memories of you. So you know what I use to pretend? That you were dead. It was easier to do that than to wonder why you never came back for me. Abby: There is no way I can tell you how sorry I am for what I did. Bonnie: Yes there is. You can help me. (Bonnie places her hands over the coffin again, reaching out for Abby's hands. Abby takes her hands and they begin to recite the spell again. The candles flare up. They stop chanting the spell and Bonnie goes to open the coffin. It's still stuck.) Bonnie: It almost worked. I have to call Damon, tell him that we're getting closer. I'll be right back. Abby: Okay. (Bonnie leaves the cavern, while Abby stays behind. She hears a noise and looks at the coffin. She walks over to it and reaches out to open it, but it opens by itself and all the candles flare up. She gasps.) KLAUS' MANSION (Damon receives a text from Bonnie saying that she needs more time to work at the coffin.) Elijah: So, why don't we move this evening along and discuss the terms of this proposal? Damon: That's very simple. Klaus gets his coffin back, in exchange, he and the Original extended family leave Mystic Falls forever. Me, Stefan, and Elena live happily ever after. No grudges. Elijah: The deal sounds fair, brother. Klaus: I don't think you understand, Elena's doppelgänger blood insures that I will always have more hybrids to fight those that oppose me. I will never leave her behind. (Klaus gets up and starts to pace.) Klaus: Let's say I do leave her here, under your protection, what then? How long before one of you turns her into a vampire? Or worse, how long before she dies caught between your feuding? You see, each one of you truly believes that you're the one that can protect her, and that is simply a delusion. Gentlemen, the worst thing for Elena Gilbert is... the two of you. (Damon gets up.) Damon: I'm gonna get some air. Elijah: Let me deal with this. (Elijah gets up and follows Damon, leaving Klaus and Stefan alone.) Klaus: All this talk has made me thirsty. (A blonde girl comes up and stands next to Klaus.) Klaus: What do you say Stefan, can I interest you in a little after dinner drink? (Klaus bites her neck and drinks her blood.) GILBERT HOUSE (Elena and Matt walk up to the house.) Elena: Thanks for walking me home. Matt: Are you doing okay? This has to bring up a lot for you. Elena: We've all lost a lot. Matt: It's this town, it's messed up. None of us should have to live this way. (They walk into the house together. Elena tries to turn on the lights, but they don't come on.) Elena: That's weird. Matt: Electricity must be out. (They walk into the kitchen, Elena opens a cupboard and grabs two flashlights, she hands one to Matt.) Elena: Here. (She turns her flashlight on.) Elena: I think I have some candles over there. (Elena walks over to the other side of the kitchen and sees a puddle of blood.) Elena: Oh my God! Matt: What the hell? (Elena moves her flashlight beam into the hallway; they see bloody handprints on the wall. Elena and Matt grab knives.) Elena: Matt? (They follow the bloody footprints out of the kitchen. They go up the stairs, there are more bloody handprints on the wall. Elena gets to the top of the stairs and looks around, she sees Alaric lying in a doorway with a knife through his stomach. She gasps and rushes over to him. Matt is right behind her.) Elena: Ric! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! (Elena goes to pull the knife out but Alaric screams, Matt stops her.) Matt: No, leave it in! Leave it in! He's lost too much blood. I'm gonna call 911. (Elena grabs Alaric's face and looks at him.) Elena: Ric, look at me. Who did this to you? Alaric: I don't know. Elena: Oh my God, there's a lot of blood, Matt! Matt: I know, I know, Elena. I know. Alaric: You have to kill me. Elena: What? Alaric: Elena, you- you have to kill me. Elena: Wait, wait, wait, Matt, hang up, hang up. He's right. If he dies a supernatural death, then he'll come back to life and he'll be healed. Matt: But, how do you know who did this is supernatural? Elena: That's what he's saying, we don't but... I'm the doppelgänger. (She takes the knife she grabbed from the kitchen.) Elena: That makes me supernatural. Matt: Elena! No, this is messed up! Elena: He's dying, Matt! (Elena stabs Alaric, killing him.) KLAUS' MANSION (Klaus is still feeding on the blonde girl, he drops her to the floor, she's dead.) Klaus: Delicious. Aged to perfection. Stefan: Well, I guess the only reason you agreed to this evening, Klaus, is to drive a wedge between me and my brother. Klaus: Oh no, you're doing that well enough on your own. Because of Elena, you're gonna lose your brother and you'll only have yourself to blame. (Damon and Elijah re-enter.) Damon: What do you say, Klaus? It's time for you to put something on the table. We've made our offer, now you counter. Klaus: Okay. I offer Elena's future happiness. You see, what she needs right now is to be rid of you lot. And to fall in love with a human, maybe that nice football player, you know the blond one? Damon: Matt Donovan? Really? Klaus: Yeah, why not? They'll marry, live a long and fruitful life, and pop out a perfect family. Stefan: And continue the Petrova bloodline. Every few hundred years, you'll have a new doppelgänger to drain and never run out of hybrids, right Klaus? Klaus: Consider it a small return on my investment in her well being. See after you hand me back the coffin, I'll ensure her safety for the rest of her natural life, you know it's what's best for her. (Klaus gets up and walks towards Stefan.) Klaus: So, what do you say Stefan, do we have a deal? (Stefan walks over to Klaus.) Damon: What are you doing? (Klaus holds his hand out to Stefan. Stefan grabs his hand.) Stefan: Nice try, Klaus. But no deal. (Klaus breaks Stefan's arm. He kicks his leg and breaks it as well. He pushes his hand into the fireplace, Stefan starts to burn. Damon attempts to rush over to him, but Elijah pushes him against the wall.) Damon: What are you doing? (Klaus continues to hold Stefan in the fire, his arm is badly burnt.) Damon: Stop! Klaus: Now, bring me my coffin before I burn him alive. Damon: I'll get it. Klaus: Go with him, brother, you keep him honest. And when you return, I will make good on my promise to you and I will hand over our family. FORBES HOUSE (Bill is in Caroline's room. Caroline enters.) Bill: Hey. Caroline: Hey. (Bill points to a trophy on Caroline's dresser.) Bill: Your first day at regionals. Caroline: Yep. I was afraid to join the squad, but you talked me into it. Bill: You had nothing to be afraid of, you were so much better than all those other girls. (Bill sits down on Caroline's bed.) Caroline: How are you feeling? Bill: I'm tired. Caroline: Can I get you anything? Or um... do you want me to call Steven? Bill: No, no, we haven't spoken in a while. Just call him when it's over and the dust is settled, would you? (Caroline kneels in front of her Dad and takes his hands.) Caroline: Listen, listen to me. I know that you think you made your choice, but you can change your mind. You know, you are strong enough to handle being a vampire. I mean, you're the strongest person that I know. Bill: Oh, Caroline, my strength is all in my beliefs. Becoming a vampire is wrong, people aren't supposed to cheat death, it's just what I believe. Please respect that. (Caroline lets go of his hands and stands up and starts to cry.) Caroline: God. How can you hate who I am so much?! (Bill gets up and gently grabs Caroline's face.) Bill: Oh, no, no, no, sweetheart, I don't hate you, I love you. You're strong, you're beautiful, you're good. And even after everything that has happened to you, you are exactly who your mother and I hoped you'd grow up to be. Caroline: Please don't leave me, Daddy. Please... please don't leave me. Daddy just don't leave me. (Bill hugs Caroline and pets her hair.) Bill: Shh. Parents aren't supposed to outlive their children, Caroline. It's okay. (She kisses the top of her head as she continues to cry. He looks over at Liz who is standing in the doorway.) Bill: This is life. This is what it means to be human. KLAUS' MANSION (Klaus is still keeping Stefan in the fire.) Stefan: Go ahead and kill me, I know you'll do it when he brings the coffin. (Klaus pulls Stefan out of the fireplace.) Klaus: You really have given up, haven't you? Where's the fight? Where's the ripper? (He pushes Stefan. Stefan pushes back. Suddenly, Elijah and Damon re-enter the room.) Klaus: Elijah... why haven't you left? Elijah: Where are you manners, brother? We forgot dessert. (Elijah takes the cover off a plate a blonde woman is carrying. Two silver daggers lie on the plate.) Klaus: What have you done? Elijah: What have you done? You see I've learned not to trust your vulgar promises, Klaus. We're doing this on my terms now. (Kol enters the room.) Klaus: Kol. Kol: Long time, brother. (Klaus starts to back away. Finn suddenly appears, he grabs a dagger and stabs Klaus through the hand.) Klaus: Finn, don't! (He rushes away, but runs into Rebekah.) Klaus: Rebekah? (She stabs him with a dagger.) Rebekah: This is for our mother. (Klaus falls back into Kol's arms. Kol restrains him. Elijah looks at Damon and Stefan.) Elijah: You're free to go. This is family business. FORBES HOUSE (Bill is lying in Caroline's bed, he has passed away. Caroline is clutching his hand and crying. Liz enters the room, she has tears in her eyes. Caroline and Liz look at each other.) GILBERT HOUSE (Elena is sitting next to Alaric's body, Matt comes up the stairs and kneels down next to her.) Matt: He's still out? (Elena nods.) Elena: Caroline called. Her dad died. Will you stay with me? Until he wakes up? Matt: Of course. Elena: I can't lose anymore family. (Elena starts to cry, Matt takes her in his arms and comforts her.) THE WOODS (Damon and Stefan are walking to the Lockwood Cellar.) Stefan: Ah, you were right about Elijah. Undaggering him was a smart move. Damon: Wow, actual acknowledgement of a job well done. You're going soft, Stefan. Stefan: So, I guess I shouldn't thank you for saving me from Klaus? Damon: Shut up, you don't get to thank me until I pay you back for all those times you've saved me. Stefan: You could have left me there. Klaus would have killed me and you would have had Elena all to yourself. (Damon's phone goes off. It's Elena. He ignores the call.) Damon: I didn't do it on your account. Stefan: I love her, Damon. Damon: So do I. (Damon looks at him and walks away.) (Elena is on the phone with Sheriff Forbes.) Liz: I looked into it, Elena. Meredith Fell was called into surgery six hours ago. She's been in there ever since. Elena: She has an alibi? Liz: Iron-tight in an operating room full of witnesses. Elena: Then who could it be? Liz: I don't know. But the attack on Alaric makes this the third member of the Founder's Council and we just cleared our only suspect. (Alaric wakes up and starts coughing. Elena hangs up her phone and rushes over to him and grabs his hand.) LOCKWOOD CELLAR (Damon and Stefan enter the cavern.) Damon: Let's hope big witch and little witch got that coffin open. Stefan: Something's gotta make this night worthwhile. (They see Bonnie on the floor, unconscious.) Stefan: Bonnie? She's still breathing. Damon: Mama's still breathing, I can hear her. Stefan: Coffin's open. Damon: Well, it's not gonna do us any good. Whatever's in it is gone. KLAUS' MANSION Rebekah: I like what you've done with the new place, Nik. (She throws a vase into a painting.) Klaus: I wanted it to be for all of us. A place we could all call home. A place we could all be a family. None of us would ever have to be alone again. Elijah: Well you're right, none of us will be. Finn: You're staying behind. Rebekah: We're leaving you, Nik. Right after I kill that doppelgänger wench, then you will be alone. Always and forever. Klaus: If you run, I will hunt all of you down. Elijah: Then you'll become everything you hate. Our father. Klaus: I'm the hybrid! I can't be killed! I have nothing to fear from any of you. Elijah: You will when we have that coffin. (They all hear a door open. They turn around. Esther walks in.) Rebekah: Mother? (Esther walks towards Klaus.) Esther: Look at me! Do you know why I'm here? (Klaus has tears in his eyes.) Klaus: You're here to kill me. Esther: Niklaus, you are my son and I am here to forgive you. I want us to be a family again.	Plan: A: Klaus; Q: Who threatens to burn Stefan? A: Elijah; Q: Who did Klaus fight with? A: Mikael; Q: Who did Klaus reveal was dead? A: Alaric; Q: Who did Elena kill to save him? A: medical examiner Brian Walters; Q: Who did Elena's fingerprints find on the wooden stake that killed? A: Stefan; Q: Who did Elena suspect of killing Brian Walters? A: the seal; Q: What did Abby and Bonnie break to open the coffin? A: the sealed coffin; Q: Where does Bonnie take Abby to open the coffin? A: Caroline; Q: Who discovered Bill was stabbed? A: the lively company; Q: What does Elijah bring to the table? A: Damon; Q: Who tells Stefan that he loves Elena? A: a truce; Q: What do Damon, Stefan and Klaus agree to consult over dinner? A: good; Q: What behavior does Damon try to keep Stefan on? A: Caroline distraught; Q: What does Bill's decision to not complete the transition leave? A: their weapons; Q: What did Elena and Alaric suspect Meredith of using to murder the coroner and Bill? A: comfort Caroline; Q: What does Elena do when she finds out that Bill is not a vampire? A: Matt; Q: Who stays with Elena while they wait for Alaric to wake up? A: Tatia; Q: Who was the original Doppelgänger? A: Tatia's blood; Q: What was used to turn Elena and Alaric into vampires? A: a supernatural doppelgänger; Q: What is Elena's supernatural ability? A: the daggers; Q: What is pulled out of Kol, Finn, and Rebekah? A: Nathaniel Buzolic; Q: Who is Kol? A: Casper Zafer; Q: Who played Finn? A: Claire Holt; Q: Who played Rebekah? A: Klaus's siblings; Q: Who are Kol, Finn, and Rebekah? A: her father; Q: Who does Caroline say good-bye to? A: Sheriff Forbes; Q: Who reveals that the attacker was not Meredith? A: Esther; Q: Who is the mother of the original family? Summary: Klaus and Elijah fight, but stop as Klaus reveals Mikael is dead. Elena and Alaric are shocked when they learn of Elena's fingerprints on the wooden stake that killed medical examiner Brian Walters. Elena suspects Stefan, but he denies it. Stefan and Bonnie take Abby to the sealed coffin for her to figure out to open it. Caroline discovered someone stabbed Bill, killing him and turning him into a vampire. Along with the lively company of Elijah; Damon, Stefan and Klaus agree to consult a truce over dinner, with Damon trying to keep Stefan on good behavior. Bill decides not to complete the transition leaving Caroline distraught. Elena and Alaric suspect Meredith of finding and using their weapons to murder the coroner and Bill. Elena goes to comfort Caroline, and Matt shows up as well. Elijah and Klaus tell Damon and Stefan of Tatia, the original Doppelgänger. It was Tatia's blood used to turn them into vampires. Abby and Bonnie manage to break the seal. Klaus negotiates to bring Elena with him if they would leave. Elena and Matt arrive back home to find Alaric wounded, and to save him Elena, being a supernatural doppelgänger, had to kill him, so that he could come back to life. Klaus threatens to burn Stefan but everything takes a turn when the daggers are pulled out of Kol ( Nathaniel Buzolic ), Finn ( Casper Zafer ), and Rebekah ( Claire Holt ), who are Klaus's siblings. Caroline says good-bye to her father and Matt stays with Elena while they wait for Alaric to wake up. Stefan tells Damon that he loves Elena and Damon replies "so do I". Sheriff Forbes reveals the attacker is not Meredith as Alaric wakes back up. Bonnie and Abby are out cold as the sealed coffin is revealed to be open. Esther, the supposedly deceased mother of the original family, is revealed to have been in the coffin and wants to have her family back.
5:30pm - 5:55pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: EXT. TUNDRA (IAN and BARBARA are in a frozen tundra with snow on the ground. It is obviously freezing, a howling wind blows and they huddle together for warmth as they fall to the ground.) IAN: Get up, Barbara! We must keep moving! If we don't find shelter, we don't stand a chance. BARBARA: It's no good Ian, I ... I can't... I'm too tired... Sleep... IAN: No! BARBARA: (Falling forward.) I must sleep... (She collapses and lies still. IAN slowly crawls over to her.) IAN: No ... no, Barbara, no! We'll freeze to death ... We ... (The cold overcomes him and he collapses too.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: EXT. TUNDRA. (A SHORT TIME LATER) (BARBARA sits up slowly. She sees a large, bearded MAN in a hood standing over them and faints. The MAN holds her wrist and pulls off the travel dial.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. HUT (The sound of howling wind is heard from outside a wooden hut as a fire is burning. The MAN from the tundra returns through the door and bolts it behind him. He checks on BARBARA who is sleeping in on a bed. He taps her on the shoulder. She sits up in alarm.) MAN: Don't be afraid, you're safe now. BARBARA: How... How did I...? Ian, where's Ian? (The MAN glances at IAN'S still form on another bed.) MAN: Ah, your friend is here. He still sleeps. (He takes her hand.) MAN: Your hand is slightly frost-bitten. Put it in mine. We must help your friend like this, too. Rub the hand slowly, like this. (He does so.) MAN: Yes? Understand? You afraid of me? BARBARA: (Nervously.) No ... . VASOR: Last year I broke the back of a wolf with my bare hands. I'm Vasor. Most men fear me, so I have few visitors. There, mm? The blood is beginning to return. BARBARA: Thank you. (She quickly withdraws her hand.) VASOR: I'll get a warm drink for both of you. (He goes to another room to make them. BARBARA nervously watches him go then slips over to IAN and shakes him.) BARBARA: Ian, wake up! IAN: (Coming round.) Mmm? BARBARA: How are you feeling? (He sits up slowly.) IAN: (In pain.) Oh, my hands! BARBARA: Yes, they're swollen with frostbite. (He reaches towards the fire.) BARBARA: No, no, no, you mustn't put them near the fire, you have to bring back the circulation slowly. (IAN looks around as BARBARA rubs his hands.) IAN: Well where are we? BARBARA: I don't know. I don't even know how we got here. (VASOR returns.) VASOR: Ah, you're awake, good. Here, drink this. (He hands them both bowls that they accept gratefully.) IAN: Oh, thank you. (They drink some of it.) IAN: Mmm, oh, that's better. (To VASOR.) Do we have you to thank for saving us on the mountain. VASOR: Hah! I found you when I was resetting my traps. (He laughs.) Had a difficult journey getting you back to the hut. BARBARA: (Smiling gratefully.) Well, we would have frozen to death. VASOR: Nah, the wolves would've eaten you first. IAN: Wolves? VASOR: Yes, there are more than ever of them this Winter. I've counted a dozen packs. Twenty in each. They're hungry. They're even raiding the villages at night. BARBARA: Are we in a village? VASOR: No, the nearest village is three miles away. I stay out here to look after me traps. IAN: Well we're grateful for ... you getting to us before the wolves. VASOR: Oh, one of you would've died anyway if it hadn't been for the stranger. I couldn't have carried you both. BARBARA: Stranger? What stranger? VASOR: Oh, madman. Came in here early last night, raving and ranting. I couldn't talk to him. Gave him some furs and went with him up the mountain. He was searching for a couple of girls. IAN: Altos! (They both stand.) BARBARA: Where is he now? VASOR: In the village, I think. After he got you back here I... think he went out. BARBARA: Did he say he was coming back? VASOR: Yes, but er... it's getting nearly dark. He won't be able to get over the ledge at night. IAN: Well, we must go and help him! VASOR: Oh, there's a storm coming up. IAN: You've already done so much for us I ... can't ask you to risk coming with me, but will you lend me warm clothing? VASOR: Lend you? (Chuckles.) My furs are my living, I'm a poor man. Wouldn't stand much chance of getting them back if you fell down a crevasse. IAN: Look, I can't pay you for them, I haven't got any money! VASOR: That thing on your wrist looks valuable. (IAN clutches his travel dial in indecision.) IAN: Yes, all right. (He hands it over.) IAN: Now please, hurry. VASOR: All right. Coat and gloves over there. (He points to a peg by the door with a fur coat on it.) VASOR: I'll get you a lantern. (He vanishes into the other room with IAN'S travel dial. BARBARA helps IAN into the coat.) BARBARA: Ian, Susan and Sabetha, do you think you'll find them? IAN: I don't know what to think Barbara. I'll know more when... when and if I find Altos. (VASOR returns and gives IAN a lantern and a bag.) VASOR: There you are. IAN: (Taking them.) Ahh ... VASOR: (Pointing.) The village lies that way. When you get through the fir forest, you'll see the lights. IAN: Well... thank you. (He makes for the door but BARBARA stops him.) BARBARA: Ian. IAN: I'll be back as soon as I can. (He opens the door and walks out into the snow. VASOR shuts it behind him and slides the bolt across. He joins BARBARA by the fireplace, placing his hands on her shoulders.) VASOR: Ah, we're alone. BARBARA: Oh, he'll be back, I know he will. VASOR: We'll see. Well, I'll go and get us some food. We must fatten you up, eh? (He chuckles and walks off leaving BARBARA looking very nervous.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: EXT. TUNDRA (IAN stumbles through the blizzard. On the hillside wolves appear howling. He quickens his pace but stops suddenly as he sees a body on the ground. It is ALTOS. His turns him over and tries to help him up. He sees that his hands have been tied together.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. HUT (VASOR and BARBARA are sitting at a table, eating. The wolves can be heard howling from here.) BARBARA: They sound so close. VASOR: Aha, you're safe here! That door'll keep anything out. (Meaningfully.) Or in. Well you clear those things away will you? And I'll get rid of these. (He carries some of the bowls away. Trying to find somewhere to put the rest, BARBARA opens a drawer. Inside are four travel dials and...) BARBARA: Sabetha's chain! (VASOR bursts in.) VASOR: (Angrily.) What are you doing in that drawer? BARBARA: Where did you get these? One of the girls was wearing this. VASOR: You give me those. They're worth money. (He snatches the chain back.) BARBARA: How did you get them? VASOR: There's a cave on the mountain's where I store my traps. I found the two girls hiding there. BARBARA: So they're alive? VASOR: They may be. That was yesterday. I gave them food and flint in return for these. I left 'em there. BARBARA: But why? Why didn't you bring them back? VASOR: Ah, don't keep annoying me. These accusations ... Huh! I can't afford to look after every fool that gets lost on the mountains. BARBARA: They gave you all those things in the drawer. VASOR: Yah, trinkets! BARBARA: Well what about Altos, the young man, who... VASOR: He forced me to go up the mountain to look for these girls. Instead we found you and when we brought you back here, he wanted to go out again. BARBARA: I don't believe you. You stole those things. VASOR: (Quietly.) Ah? Did I? BARBARA: Oh, they might have given you the wrist bracelets, but for the keys and the chain, Sabetha would never have parted with them! VASOR: Yes, I thought they were valuable. BARBARA: What have you done with them. You didn't kill them? VASOR: (Chuckles.) You don't kill anybody in this country. The cold and the wolves do that. BARBARA: Well, when Ian gets back... (She glances at the door as VASOR chuckles again.) VASOR: What makes you think he will get back? He doesn't know what's in that bag I gave him. (He laughs.) BARBARA: What did you put in it? (VASOR just laughs again.) BARBARA: Tell me! (VASOR continues to laugh.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: EXT. TUNDRA (ALTOS is now conscious and IAN is rubbing his legs to help bring the circulation back. Another wolf howls nearby. They both look up.) IAN: They're getting closer. We can't stay here. How are your legs? ALTOS: The feeling's beginning to return. I ... should be able to walk in a minute or two. IAN: You haven't yet told me who tied you up. ALTOS: The trapper. IAN: What? But he rescued us. ALTOS: Only because I forced him to. He's utterly ruthless. IAN: (Appalled.) Barbara's back there with him, alone! ALTOS: Well then we must get back there as quickly as we can. Help me up. (They get to their feet but ALTOS leans on IAN for support.) IAN: All right, can you stand? ALTOS: Yes. (IAN notices something poking out of the bag.) IAN: Wait a minute! Look at this! Raw meat! What on Earth would Vasor want to give that to me for? (A wolf howls very close now.) ALTOS: There's your answer. Those beasts can scent raw meat miles away, it draws them like a magnet. Vasor was making certain that you wouldn't get back. IAN: (Angrily.) Well he's got a surprise coming to him, hasn't he? (He throws the meat away.) IAN: Come on. (As they leave a wolf approaches the meat.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. HUT (VASOR advances on BARBARA and corners her.) VASOR: There's nowhere you can run. BARBARA: Keep away! (She edges round him to the fireplace as VASOR follows laughing. BARBARA picks up a poker from the fire.) VASOR: Put that down! BARBARA: Don't you dare come near me! VASOR: (Calmly.) All right. I'm in no hurry. There's no one coming to help you. I can wait. [SCENE_BREAK] 8: EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE (IAN and ALTOS stagger along together. They stop as they hear the wolves again.) IAN: They're catching up. ALTOS: Look! (He points at VASOR'S hut in the distance from which can be seen a curl of smoke coming from the chimney.) IAN: About a quarter of a mile I make it. I think we've got a chance, but we'll have to run, Altos. ALTOS: All right, I'll try. IAN: Come on. (They run down the hill together.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. HUT (VASOR makes a grab for BARBARA. She hits him with the poker. He yells in pain as BARBARA drops the poker.) VASOR: (Snarling.) All right, I'll wait no longer! (BARBARA dodges around the table and tries to defend herself with a stool but he snatches it easily. She screams as she falls back on one of the beds. Suddenly there is a fierce knocking on the door.) IAN: (OOV.) Barbara, open the door! Open the door! Open the door! (BARBARA slips past VASOR and tries to open the door ... ) IAN: (OOV.) Open the door! ( ... but VASOR grabs her. She bites his hand.) IAN: (OOV.) Open the door! (Howling, VASOR lets go and BARBARA slides back the bolt.) IAN: (OOV.) Open the ... ! (IAN and ALTOS burst in.) IAN: (To BARBARA.) Are you all right? BARBARA: Yes. The girls are all right, they're in a cave in the mountain. (ALTOS pulls VASOR up.) ALTOS: You ... ! VASOR: I meant them no harm, I swear it! I gave them food and flint to light a fire... ALTOS: You treacherous... IAN: No Altos, we want him unharmed. He's going to show us where the cave is. [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. ICE CAVE (SUSAN is trying to re-light a fire on the ground. The cave walls are totally covered in glistening ice. No rock can be seen. SUSAN gives up and huddles closer to SABETHA for warmth.) SUSAN: It's no good, Sabetha. SABETHA: It doesn't matter. There was hardly any wood left. SUSAN: Look, there's no point in us just waiting here, we must go out there and take a chance. SABETHA: In these clothes? We wouldn't last an hour. SUSAN: How long do you think we'll last here without any fire? SABETHA: I suppose you're right. SUSAN: Come on then. (SUSAN starts off down a passage on the left but SABETHA shakes her head.) SABETHA: That wasn't the way we came in. It was the tunnel on the right. SUSAN: Well, I'm sure it was this one. SABETHA: I could've sworn it... Well, if you're certain. SUSAN: Well I thought I was certain. You've made me doubtful now. SABETHA: Come on. Let's try it. (They set off down the left passageway.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE (VASOR is showing the others the way. They all wear furs against the howling wind.) IAN: How much further? VASOR: It's just beyond the next ridge. When we get there can I go back? IAN: You're getting no promises out of me. Come on! [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. ICE PASSAGEWAY (SUSAN and SABETHA have reached a dead end.) SABETHA: Oh! Now we've got to go back. SUSAN: I'm sorry, Sabetha. SABETHA: (Hugging her.) Oh, it's not your fault, don't worry. We'll just go back the way we came. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. ICE CAVE (The others enter the cave and look around.) IAN: (To VASOR.) They're not here. (VASOR points to the floor.) VASOR: Look, there's been a fire. I told you I'd helped them! (IAN examines the remains of the fire.) IAN: This ash is still warm. They can't have been gone long. BARBARA: (To VASOR.) Is there another way out of these caves? VASOR: No, this is the only one. ALTOS: How far do these tunnels go? VASOR: Oh, right through the mountain. IAN: Then they must have gone in deeper. Lead on, Vasor. (VASOR panics and tries to run. IAN holds him back.) VASOR: No, no, no, no, we mustn't! There are demons in there... I won't go on! IAN: (Firmly.) Vasor, I am not asking you, I'm telling you. Now move! (IAN shoves a frightened VASOR down the passage and the others follow.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. ICE PASSAGEWAY (SUSAN and SABETHA emerge from an archway in the rock.) SUSAN: It's no good Sabetha, we ... we're just going deeper into the mountain. SABETHA: If we keep going we must find a way out. Now come on. (They go through another archway...) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. CHASM (In front of them is a narrow but deep chasm. It is spanned by a single, rickety-looking rope-bridge.) SUSAN: Oh look! Well there's a rope-bridge. (She approaches the bridge.) SABETHA: Be careful. (SUSAN cautiously begins to cross it. The bridge sags and shakes as she crosses.) SABETHA: Is... is it safe? SUSAN: I think so... (SUSAN stumbles in the middle and panics ... ) SABETHA: Don't look down! (SUSAN reaches the other side. SABETHA manages to traverse it successfully in one go.) SABETHA: Come on, let's move quickly. (They duck through a hole in the rock wall on the other side.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. ICE PASSAGEWAY (The other party continue their progress.) BARBARA: I've just realised, this wall isn't rock, it's solid ice! VASOR: (Sobbing.) Oh, please, we mustn't go on. I told you the truth when I said there were demons here, there are men who've seen them. IAN: Well you never know, you might be a man who's seen them too. You're not going back, anyway. Come on, get on. ALTOS: (OOV, from ahead.) Stop! [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. CHASM (ALTOS and BARBARA balance precariously at the edge of the chasm.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. ICE CAVERN (SUSAN and SABETHA enter another cave and come face to face with four motionless and frozen figures. Each is armoured, wears a round helmet and carries a vicious looking sword. The girls back off in terror ... SABETHA: Hurry! ( ... and run away back down the tunnel.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. CHASM (ALTOS and BARBARA have just crossed the bridge when SUSAN and SABETHA return, panicked.) SUSAN: Oh, Barbara! (IAN calls from the other side.) IAN: Hang on, I'm coming over! SUSAN: Ian! (He crosses the bridge with no difficulty, leaving only VASOR to cross. As ALTOS gives his fur to SABETHA, BARBARA helps IAN off the bridge.) IAN: Thank you. Oh, Susan. Here, put this round you. (He gives SUSAN his furs.) SUSAN: I thought we'd never get out of here. IAN: Well you're all right now. What happened? BARBARA: What was it that frightened you? (SABETHA points the way they just came from.) SABETHA: Down there, there's somebody down there. SUSAN: We almost ran into them. ALTOS: Ian, stop him! (VASOR has by now cut the bridge at his end and he throws it into the darkness.) IAN: Vasor, wait! VASOR: No, you wait! Wait there forever! There's no other way out. (He walks back towards the mountainside, laughing.) IAN: (Angrily.) What a fool I was. BARBARA: How do we get across? IAN: I don't know. It's too wide to jump. BARBARA: Well maybe we could find some planks and logs and lay them across? IAN: Yes, all right. Let's go and look. ALTOS: Shall I lead the way? IAN: Yes. ALTOS: Sabetha, keep close behind me. (ALTOS leads the party through the hole.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. ICE PASSAGEWAY (They go down another ice passageway. This one has a steep incline.) ALTOS: Look out for this slope. IAN: Yes. (To SUSAN and BARBARA behind him.) Mind the slope. BARBARA: Right. (From ahead there is a rumbling and scraping noise, which none of them notice.) IAN: All right? (ALTOS is about to proceed through an archway when IAN notices something.) IAN: Altos, look out! (ALTOS and SABETHA stop suddenly. The slightly detached roof of the archway moves slightly with another rumbling noise but does not fall.) IAN: This rock's the only thing that's supporting this block of ice. ALTOS: It might have crushed us to death. IAN: Yes. Well the only thing to do is to keep away from it, keep down as you go under. ALTOS: Yes, I agree. IAN: Right down. (ALTOS and SABETHA go first.) SUSAN: Oh, can't we go back? BARBARA: No, Susan, we must find the key. IAN: Susan, we must search all these tunnels properly. That key's probably hidden somewhere here inside the mountain. (SUSAN realises where they are going and hugs BARBARA.) SUSAN: (Terrified.) Oh! Not there! IAN: (Determined.) We have no alternative. [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. ICE CAVERN (SABETHA, ALTOS, IAN, BARBARA and SUSAN cautiously enter the cave. It is exactly as it was before with the ICE SOLDIERS still frozen solid and stood to attention.) BARBARA: Is this what you saw, Susan? SUSAN: Yes, but they seem so like-life. (A square block of ice sits on a rock in the centre of the cave. The four SOLDIERS stand sentinel, facing outwards at each corner of the block.) IAN: (Stepping forward.) These must be the demons that Vasor talked about. Well, they're certainly the stuff that make legends. (SABETHA joins IAN and looks at the block of ice.) SABETHA: Look, right in the middle of the ice. There's the key! IAN: Yes. ALTOS: It couldn't be better protected, could it? A solid block of ice! IAN: And four dead warriors ... to guard it, eh? And each perfectly preserved. They certainly look frightening enough, don't they? (BARBARA has discovered a pipe with a valve near the block of ice.) BARBARA: There's a pipe here. It runs right round the block of ice. (SUSAN calls from by the entrance to the passageway.) SUSAN: Oh, yes look. It comes out over here. You can see it running underneath the ice. BARBARA: Ian, over here. There's a sort of valve or something. (She starts to turn it as IAN comes over.) IAN: Hey, well steady on, wait a minute. Go on turning it. (BARBARA carries on. IAN feels the pipe.) IAN: It's getting warmer! SABETHA: But how could it be? Where could the heat come from? BARBARA: It must be a volcanic spring, buried deep in the bowels of the earth. Like the hot springs in Iceland! SABETHA: Iceland? Where's that? IAN: In our own country, far away. SUSAN: (At the block of ice with ALTOS.) It's melting. ALTOS: Quite quickly. (IAN examines the block briefly.) IAN: Oh, while we're waiting for it to melt, let's go and see what we can do about that bridge. (They all walk out leaving the SOLDIERS alone.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. CHASM (IAN and ALTOS have finished lashing two spars of ice together.) IAN: With any luck, they'll freeze together. (He rubs his hands together.) Oh, cold on the hands isn't it? Well, let's get it over. (Together they lift the spars up.) IAN: Careful, we don't want it them break. (They use another spar already spanning the chasm to help them get it across.) IAN: Right, slide it along that other one gently. Right? (They push it across.) Now, careful when it comes off the end. Careful! (The spars fall off the third when they span the chasm and all three lie next to each other.) IAN: (Happily.) Oh! It didn't break! Right, let's get some more and pile around it. Where are the girls? ALTOS: I asked to them to go and see how the melting process is coming along. [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. ICE CAVERN (The women walk cautiously back into the cave. The ICE SOLDIERS have also thawed out and their bodies are now slumped forward. SABETHA notices that the key is now free and runs to get it.) SABETHA: The key! BARBARA: (Calling back down the passage.) Ian! Altos! It's all right, it's all melted! (SUSAN approaches one of the ICE SOLDIERS and examines its sword.) SUSAN: Hey, look at these weapons. Wouldn't like to come across one of these in a battle. (The ICE SOLDIER opens its eyes and slowly raises its head. SUSAN screams and runs back to BARBARA.) SUSAN: Aah, he's ... he's alive! (Screaming.) He's alive! (IAN and ALTOS enter.) IAN: What's the matter? (He sees the ICE SOLDIER lifting up its sword and turning towards them.) IAN: Get out of here! Run! (He pushes SUSAN and BARBARA back through the entrance.) IAN: (To SABETHA.) Have you got the key? SABETHA: Yes. IAN: Then run! (SABETHA dashes for the exit but trips with a cry. IAN helps her out with ALTOS. The other ICE SOLDIERS are staggering to life by now and they approach IAN who is watching the rear.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. CHASM (The others are waiting for IAN. SUSAN, unseen, steps away and starts to tightening the ropes on the improvised bridge, then gingerly starts to cross on her hands and knees...) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. ICE PASSAGEWAY (IAN retreats down the passageway, warding off the lead SOLDIERS blows with a stalactite.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. CHASM (BARBARA notices that SUSAN is attempting to cross the ice spars over the chasm on her hands and knees.) BARBARA: Susan! (The spar bridge creaks.) ALTOS: It'll never take her weight. It can't have frozen solid yet. (One of the spars of the bridge falls forward and for a moment nobody moves. Eventually SUSAN resumes her progress across.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. ICE PASSAGEWAY (IAN manages to lever down the rock that is supporting the archway, thereby blocking the passageway. The ICE SOLDIERS run up and attempt to attack him from over the top of it.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. CHASM (BARBARA gasps as SUSAN reaches the other side.) ALTOS: Well done, Susan! Come on, Sabetha, get ready. You first. (They grab the rope bridge.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. ICE PASSAGEWAY (IAN has gone. With superhuman strength, one of the ICE SOLDIERS lifts the rock up and the others rush underneath it.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. CHASM (The rope bridge has been thrown over to SUSAN and she has tied it back into place. BARBARA and SABETHA have already gone across. SUSAN helps ALTOS onto the other side who in turn helps IAN across.) IAN: Right, you carry on, I'll catch you up. (They leave just as one of the ICE SOLDIERS arrives. It attempts to cross the bridge but IAN cuts the rope. The SOLDIER falls into the chasm, screaming, as IAN stares on, grimly. The other ICE SOLDIERS arrive and look at the gap in frustration.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. HUT (VASOR is sitting at his table, smiling as he looks over the travel dials and the necklace of keys. Suddenly, IAN and ALTOS burst in through the door.) VASOR: (Shocked.) What...? How did you get...? (SUSAN, BARBARA and SABETHA enter.) IAN: (Menacingly.) We've come to collect our things, Vasor. VASOR: Ah, ah, no, no, no! (He runs out of the door. IAN hands the other keys to SABETHA.) IAN: Here, Sabetha, put these around your neck. BARBARA: (Passing SUSAN her travel dial.) Susan ... . IAN: (To SABETHA.) Now, put the travel dial on. (She does so.) If all got our travel dials on, we'll keep our date with the Doctor! (VASOR runs back into the hut.) VASOR: (Panicking.) Aah, ah, they're coming, they're coming! The devils from the mountain! They're coming here! (He shuts and bolts the door.) IAN: Then I'm afraid you'll have to entertain them alone, Vasor. We have to leave you. VASOR: No! (He grabs SUSAN. The ICE SOLDIERS are hacking ferociously at the door.) SUSAN: Aah! VASOR: You'll stay, you hear? You'll stay or I'll kill her. IAN: (Warningly.) Take your hands of her! VASOR: (Backing up towards the door.) I'm going out the back way... (He suddenly freezes with a cry and SUSAN breaks free as he collapses. Staring in bafflement, IAN sees that the lance of one of the SOLDIERS has broken through the door and stabbed VASOR through the back.) IAN: He's dead. (The SOLDIERS, meanwhile, have nearly demolished the door.) IAN: The dials, twist the dials! (The soldiers burst in only to find that the travellers have disappeared. They look round in puzzlement.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. EXHIBITION VAULT (A man wearing a black uniform lies still at the foot of several glass cases. IAN, who is alone, crouches down by him. He looks in the nearest case and, seeing something inside, desperately attempts to open it. The black gloved hand of an unseen assailant brings a club down on his head and he collapses. The figure places the club in IAN'S hand before moving to the case. By opening a side panel it removes the object that IAN saw, which is none other than the final key. An alarm bell sounds...)	Plan: A: The TARDIS; Q: What ship arrives on the planet Marinus? A: the planet Marinus; Q: Where does the TARDIS arrive on an island of glass surrounded by a sea of acid? A: The travellers; Q: Who is forced by the elderly Arbitan to retrieve four of the five operating keys to a machine called the Conscience of Marinus? A: the keeper; Q: What is Arbitan's role in the Conscience of Marinus? A: their own sinister purposes; Q: What do the evil Yartek and his Voord warriors plan to use the Conscience of Marinus for? Summary: The TARDIS arrives on the planet Marinus on an island of glass surrounded by a sea of acid. The travellers are forced by the elderly Arbitan to retrieve four of the five operating keys to a machine called the Conscience of Marinus, of which he is the keeper. These have been hidden in different locations around the planet to prevent them falling into the hands of the evil Yartek and his Voord warriors, who plan to seize the machine and use its originally benevolent mind-influencing power for their own sinister purposes.
Written by Dennis Spooner (Based on an idea by Terry Nation) 5:50pm - 6:15pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1. TOMB (The tomb is big - filled with the Pharaoh's treasure and also his coffin. By the coffin is the TARDIS.) STEVEN: (OOV.) Doctor? DOCTOR? (STEVEN and SARA come into view.) STEVEN: Doctor? DOCTOR? (Turning to SARA.) No Doctor. (SARA sees the TARDIS.) SARA: Perhaps he's inside. (They rush over and start hammering on the TARDIS doors.) STEVEN: DOCTOR! (STEVEN turns and shouts through his cupped hands:) STEVEN: DOCTOR! (SARA has turned her back on the TARDIS and notices something.) SARA: Steven! Look! (STEVEN turns and looks. A bandaged hand has opened the lid of the coffin and is moving about. The coffin lid fully opens and a near fully bandaged person rises. He spots SARA and STEVEN and starts trying to talk, but the bandages muffle the sound.) STEVEN: He is trying to say something. (SARA and STEVEN move over to the MUMMY and start to unravel the bandages. When all of the bandages have been removed from the face, they see that it is the MONK.) MONK: Well, thank goodness for that! [SCENE_BREAK] 2. DALEK TIME SHIP (MAVIC CHEN and two DALEKS are waiting inside the ship for the MONK to bring them the Taranium Core from the DOCTOR.) RED DALEK: The plan has failed. MAVIC CHEN: We can't be certain. Although the time travelling Monk has not yet contracted us, we don't know what difficulties he had to face. RED DALEK: The Earth hour allowed has expired. MAVIC CHEN: In the present situation we can't afford to measure time exactly. RED DALEK: The time traveller has deceived us! MAVIC CHEN: I don't think so. He DARE not! Will the Daleks never learn that all things do not work to a pattern - that flexibility can also lead to conquest? RED DALEK: Silence! All Daleks will disembark! All forms of life will be treated as hostile! DALEKS: We obey! (The DALEK moves to MAVIC CHEN.) RED DALEK: You, Chen, will come with us. MAVIC CHEN: But recovery of the Taranium Core was made my responsibility. RED DALEK: Orders will not be questioned! MAVIC CHEN: If you insist on this approach, I fail to see how I will be able to answer for the consequences! (With that, CHEN hits the DALEK eyepiece, causing the DALEK to be disoriented for a brief moment. Then CHEN and the DALEKS leave their time ship.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. TOMB (By now, the MONK has been totally freed from his bandages and is telling STEVEN and SARA what he has been up to.) STEVEN: So it was the Doctor who did this? MONK: Yes. Unbelievable isn't it. Absolutely unbelievable. I admit that I succumbed to temptation... SARA: What did the Doctor say? MONK: Well, he didn't say anything really. Nothing. There I was, trying to warn him of the Daleks, and suddenly, there I am in the sarcophagus! SARA: Well, I'm sure he'll apologise when he hears your story. MONK: Well, I am... I am not one to bear a grudge. We all know what the Doctor's like. No, I think that it was just one of those things. STEVEN: Where did he go? MONK: I'm afraid I don't know. Unfortunately, immediately after this brutal attack, the next thing I remembered is... SARA: He's probably gone looking for us. STEVEN: Well then, what do we do? Go out again and take a chance on missing him? Or just stay here? SARA: If he meets the Daleks, he will need our help. MONK: Stay here. Definitely. (The MONK hasn't realised that STEVEN and SARA aren't listening to him.) MONK: I've got a terrible headache. STEVEN: What happens if we meet them? SARA: We'll just have to take that chance. MONK: No doubt the Doctor has got some... some drug or other. STEVEN: All right. But I won't even pretend that I like the idea. MONK: Well, if you give me the key to the TARDIS, I can go and get something out... (SARA finally gives her attention to the MONK.) SARA: What about him? STEVEN: He can come with us. That way, we can keep an eye on him. SARA: Come on then. MONK: Oh dear. (SARA and STEVEN start to leave the tomb, but STEVEN realises that the MONK isn't following them.) STEVEN: What are you waiting for? MONK: Well, are you going to let me into the TARDIS or not? STEVEN: I couldn't, even if I wanted to. The Doctor's the only one with a key. MONK: (Disappointed.) Oh. (His face falls, and STEVEN misunderstands this as worry for the DOCTOR.) STEVEN: Don't worry, we'll find him. MONK: (Quietly.) That's what I'm worried about. [SCENE_BREAK] 4. BASE OF THE PYRAMID (We hear STEVEN calling, and also we see MAVIC CHEN and the DALEKS moving about. MAVIC CHEN and DALEKS can hear Steven's shouting...) STEVEN: (OOV.) DOCTOR! DOCTOR! [SCENE_BREAK] 5. ANOTHER CORNER AT THE BASE OF THE PYRAMID (STEVEN, SARA and the MONK move into view.) STEVEN: (Yelling.) DOCTOR! Where are you? (The MONK, not wanting to find the DOCTOR, tries to call out for the DOCTOR through his hands, but makes it so that most of the shout is caught in his hands.) MONK: (Muffled.) DOCTOR! DOCTOR! (Then normally.) There you are, you see. You're wasting your time. (SARA tries now.) SARA: DOCTOR! (Still no reply.) SARA: It's hopeless. STEVEN: I know it is, but what else can we do? (The MONK, seeing that STEVEN and SARA are busy talking, tries to slip around the corner, but runs straight into two DALEKS.) MONK: (Trying to cover himself.) Ah... there you are. I'm been looking for you. (SARA, surprised at the distance of the MONK's voice, turns and tries to see what has happened to him.) SARA: What was that? (Suddenly a DALEK appears.) DALEK: You will join the other human. Move! (With no choice, SARA and STEVEN cross the corner to join the MONK.) RED DALEK: Prepare to exterminate them! MONK: Exterminated? When I've fulfilled my part of the bargain? (With these words, MAVIC CHEN rushes forward and seizes the MONK.) MAVIC CHEN: GIVE ME THE TARANIUM CORE! MONK: I... I haven't actually got the Core, but... I've brought you hostages! STEVEN: (In total disgust.) Hostages! MAVIC CHEN: Hostages? (He thinks for a moment.) MAVIC CHEN: Yes, that could work - the Doctor's loyalty to his friends is beyond question. RED DALEK: No more discussion. MAVIC CHEN: In exchange for their lives, the Doctor would hand us the Core of the Time Destructor. RED DALEK: (To STEVEN.) Is that true? (STEVEN says nothing and stares ahead.) MAVIC CHEN: Their silence confirms that it. They know that it is true. RED DALEK: Take them back to the Time Machine. DALEK: I obey. (The DALEK moves STEVEN and SARA off. The MONK says behind.) MONK: Well, now that little problem's settled, I'd better be... RED DALEK: You will return with us! MONK: Return with you? That was what I was going to say. (With more reluctance than STEVEN and SARA, he moves off with MAVIC CHEN and the RED DALEK.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6. WORK SHANTY (KHEPHREN is waiting by the Work Shanty. Suddenly TUTHMOS appeared. He is lightly stunned and has a big bruise on his neck.) TUTHMOS: Master. (Rushing over to KHEPHREN.) TUTHMOS: Prisoners... escaped... KHEPHREN: (In shock.) Escaped? (Thinks.) We left the tomb unsealed. TUTHMOS: We must take the men and go after... KHEPHREN: No! The war machines will destroy us all. Hyksos said he would return when the sun is above us. See. (Points up.) We do not have long to wait. [SCENE_BREAK] 7. SKY (We see the sun.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8. DALEK TIME SHIP (The glare from the sun fades so that it becomes a light bouncing off a DALEK as we move into the Time Ship. SARA, STEVEN, and the MONK are bundled into a corner, guarded by a single DALEK. The RED DALEK and some other DALEKS are over by the communications part of the time ship, and MAVIC CHEN is standing in another part of the ship doing what he does best - planning.) COMM. DALEK: The voice audio has been adjusted. RED DALEK: What is its present range? COMM. DALEK: Seven earth miles. RED DALEK: Mavic Chen can issue the ultimatum. Bring Chen to the voice audio. DALEK: I obey. (The DALEK moves off, obeying the order. The MONK tries talking to STEVEN and SARA.) MONK: Well now, there seems to be some activity going on... (STEVEN and SARA stare at him coldly.) MONK: What's the matter? Was it something I said? STEVEN: (With barely contained anger and disgust.) Don't you think that you've done enough? MONK: Yes, yes - I suppose that saving your life... SARA: (Amazed.) What? MONK: Well, we're all here, aren't we? Yes, it was very quick thinking on my part. Very quick. STEVEN: (Amazed too.) I don't believe it! MONK: Just a minute... you don't actually think I meant what I said to the Daleks? (He acts like he is in total shock.) MONK: My dear fellow, it was a desperate gamble, risking my own life to save yours. STEVEN: We can trust him as much as we can trust the Daleks. MONK: You mean, my performance was that good? I knew I had to fool the Daleks, but I thought you would see right through it. SARA: (Dubiously.) He could be telling the truth, Steven. MONK: Only could be? You don't think I'd take the side with those creatures against you, do you? You do! This baffles me... It destroys my faith in human nature. STEVEN: (Nastily.) Well, you can have your faith destroyed. (A door opens and MAVIC CHEN moves into view. He moves across the room towards the communications section.) RED DALEK: Speak the ultimatum into the voice audio. (MAVIC CHEN moves over to the microphone.) MAVIC CHEN: (Into microphone.) Doctor? Doctor, you should be able to hear me now, wherever you are. (He stops and checks that the machinery is working.) RED DALEK: Continue. Voice audio is functioning. (In their corner, the prisoners watch.) SARA: (Thinks.) Some sort of loudspeaker system. STEVEN: Maybe it would be better if the Doctor couldn't hear it. [SCENE_BREAK] 9. OUTSIDE (We see the whole of the area, including the pyramid in the background. Next we move in and we see the DOCTOR walking about, wearing his hat and his walking stick. His face is grim as he listens to MAVIC CHEN's message.) MAVIC CHEN: (OOV.) Doctor, listen carefully to what I have to say. It is useless to try to fight us any more. Your two young friends are held prisoner by the Daleks. You know why we have pursued you through time and space. We want the Taranium that you stole. You are to proceed to the Dalek time-machine, south of the Great Pyramid, and receive your instructions. The vital Core will be returned to us. Failure will mean the death of your friends. [SCENE_BREAK] 10. WORK SHANTY (TUTHMOS and KHEPHREN are amazed that a large voice is speaking all about them.) TUTHMOS: Master, It is the voice of the gods. KHEPHREN: No, Tuthmos. The gods would speak words that we would understood. TUTHMOS: Who else but the gods could speak in a voice like thunder? KHEPHREN: (Grim.) The same mortals who would build war machines that throw fire. When Hyksos returns, you will see the end of your gods! [SCENE_BREAK] 11. DALEK TIME SHIP (The DALEKS start to leave the ship. As MAVIC CHEN prepares to leave, he turns to the prisoners...) MAVIC CHEN: For your sake, I hope that the Doctor does not keep us waiting long. (He leaves.) SARA: We might try to warn the Doctor. MONK: Warn him? Whatever for? SARA: (Ignoring the MONK.) If one of us could get to that microphone... STEVEN: No, Sara, it wouldn't stop him coming here. In fact, it would probably make him more determined. (Suddenly they hear the DOCTOR's voice outside.) DOCTOR: All right, I'm here. Tell me what you want me to do. [SCENE_BREAK] 12. OUTSIDE THE DALEK TIME SHIP (The DOCTOR is outside the SHIP calling out. He is leaning on his walking stick and seems to have no apparent fear.) DOCTOR: (Half angry and half business-like.) I'm here. Can you hear me? (MAVIC CHEN fully leaves the ship with the DALEKS.) MAVIC CHEN: Yes Doctor. We heard you. DOCTOR: Where are they? MAVIC CHEN: Now, come, Doctor... DOCTOR: (More annoyed.) WHERE ARE THEY? MAVIC CHEN: (To RED DALEK.) It seems that the Doctor requires proof of what we say. RED DALEK: Put the prisoners on view. (The DALEKS move SARA, STEVEN and the MONK on view in front of the DOCTOR.) MAVIC CHEN: We want the Taranium Core back, Doctor, and there is nothing you can do to stop us now. MONK: (Waves to the DOCTOR.) Hello Doctor... DALEK: Silence. (The MONK clams up.) DOCTOR: Very well. I will hand over the Taranium Core. MAVIC CHEN: Oh... very wise! DOCTOR: But on MY terms. MAVIC CHEN: (Shouts.) You are in no position to make demands, Doctor. A Dalek escort will accompany... DOCTOR: No escort! And on my terms! RED DALEK: We could exterminate you now. DOCTOR: Yes, indeed, indeed you could, but then you'd never get back the Taranium Core, hmm, would you? MAVIC CHEN: What are your terms, Doctor? DOCTOR: You will release your prisoners. I also include that Monk fellow too, although I don't know why I should bother with him. Bring all three to the place of rendezvous and handed them over at the same time. MAVIC CHEN: Why can't you come here? DOCTOR: (In disgust.) You should know the answer to that as well as I do. (He shakes his stick at MAVIC CHEN and the DALEKS.) DOCTOR: None of you can be trusted. You (Pointing to MAVIC CHEN.) and one Dalek - by the west angle of the Great Pyramid. RED DALEK: We accept. Take the prisoners inside. (The prisoners are prodded back inside the ship.) MAVIC CHEN: I should go now, Doctor, before the Daleks change their minds. (The DOCTOR returns this with his most withering glance.) DOCTOR: Hmph! (Then he marches off.) MAVIC CHEN: I'm surprised that that you met his terms so readily. RED DALEK: One Dalek is capable of exterminating all! [SCENE_BREAK] 13. WORK SHANTY (HYKSOS and some men arrive. KHEPHREN and TUTHMOS are very happy to see them.) HYKSOS: Khephren! KHEPHREN: Have you enough men? HYKSOS: Yes. They are already moving into position and waiting for my command. Have the war machines been seen? KHEPHREN: No. But we have heard them speak in a mighty roar! HYKSOS: (In anger and grim.) My men will destroy them! COME! (They all move forward, ready to attack.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14. DALEK TIME SHIP RED DALEK: It is time for the rendezvous. (MAVIC CHEN nods, and indicates to the prisoners that they should follow him.) MAVIC CHEN: (To prisoners.) You heard what the Dalek said. (Before moving off, STEVEN grabs the MONK's arm.) STEVEN: If you try any more of your funny business, I'll exterminate you myself. MONK: (Acting injured innocence.) Funny business? Me? (They leave.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15. OUTSIDE THE DALEK TIME SHIP (HYKSOS has a man watching the time ship who signals that the DALEKS are moving. HYKSOS gives some last minute advise to his troops.) HYKSOS: Be on your guard! The war machines will kill and destroy without warning. Follow me! [SCENE_BREAK] 16. WEST ANGLE OF THE PYRAMID (The RED DALEK, DALEKS, MAVIC CHEN, and the prisoners arrive at the meeting point.) RED DALEK: Halt. This is the location. Mavic Chen, you will receive the Taranium. MAVIC CHEN: Yes, of course. RED DALEK: (To prisoners.) There will no movement from you until the handover is completed. MONK: (Softly.) It's not being done on your terms. Why don't you shut up? (The DOCTOR's voice comes over to them.) DOCTOR: (OOV.) Stay where you are. You will move when I tell you. (The DOCTOR moves into view.) DOCTOR: Mavic Chen! Walk towards me. (MAVIC CHEN starts to move forward to the DOCTOR but he sees the RED DALEK trying to follow.) DOCTOR: Dalek, halt! (The RED DALEK stops.) DOCTOR: Mavic Chen! You have disregard my conditions. I said one Dalek. MAVIC CHEN: But I am not their master! DOCTOR: Before we go any further, you will now release your hostages! Then, and only then, will I hand you the Taranium Core. STEVEN: Don't trust them, Doctor! (The RED DALEK turns to the prisoners.) RED DALEK: You are released! DOCTOR: (Waving his stick at them.) Away, all of you. (The prisoners dash off towards the stones.) DOCTOR: Mavic Chen, join me at the back here. (MAVIC CHEN moves forward and meets the DOCTOR.) DOCTOR: I am now about to hand over the Taranium Core to Mavic Chen. (To MAVIC CHEN.) Follow me. (MAVIC CHEN moves forward for a moment towards the DOCTOR, but then turns as the DOCTOR is halfway through handing over the core. At this point, HYKSOS yells to his troops to attack. Using this opportunity, MAVIC CHEN tugs hard at the Core and pulls it from the DOCTOR's grasp. MAVIC CHEN then dives for cover.) RED DALEK: (To DALEKS.) Attack formation. Attack formation. (The soldiers turn, and as they attack the DALEKS, most of them are killed by the DALEK guns. As the killing go on, the RED DALEK manages to kill a guard but it becomes trapped as some of the remaining soldiers start to build stones about it, blocking it in.) RED DALEK: Help! Help! (Meanwhile, the MONK is separated from STEVEN and SARA, and dashes off while STEVEN dives in and grabs the DOCTOR, pulling him and SARA towards the tomb.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17. TOMB (The DOCTOR, STEVEN and SARA rest inside the tomb.) STEVEN: (Happy.) You did it, Doctor. We got away again. DOCTOR: (Grim.) I'm afraid not, young man. SARA: Why not, Doctor? What went wrong? DOCTOR: I had to hand the real Taranium Core over to Mavic Chen. I know I should try to get in, but it would have been hopeless. There is so much chaos going on... and now it is too late. SARA: That means that the Daleks have won! There's nothing to stop them now. DOCTOR: Except this... (He holds up the circuit that he stole from the Monk's TARDIS.) SARA: (In wonder.) What's that? DOCTOR: That is the directional unit from the Monk's TARDIS. STEVEN: Directional... Then with this we can get back to Kembel! DOCTOR: Perhaps. Perhaps. SARA: But that's marvelous, Doctor! DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose it is. But that isn't all... STEVEN: (Interrupts.) No, I'm sure it isn't Doctor. But this is hardly the time or place to tell us about it. I mean, the Daleks will be here soon. DOCTOR: I think not, dear boy. I had to take precautionary measures in case my plan didn't work. Now, while I was collecting that unit, I changed the Monk's TARDIS into a police telephone box. SARA: (Giggles.) Like yours? DOCTOR: Yes, yes, exactly like mine. Of course, the Daleks will be on our track. But I think - should my plan succeed - they would find the Monk. (SARA giggles more.) STEVEN: By the way, what happened to him? He was with us. DOCTOR: I don't care if he is in Timbuktu. (The DOCTOR turns and opens the TARDIS doors, and they all enter the craft.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18. MONK'S TARDIS (The MONK has escaped and has made it back to his TARDIS.) MONK: Ha ha. I got away from that Steven and Sara. (He continues laughing until he sees that his TARDIS is in the form of a police telephone box.) MONK: Oh. (He moves about banging it.) MONK: No. The Doctor - he transformed my TARDIS. DALEK: (OOV.) There is one of the time travellers. Stop his escape. (As the DALEKS come into view, the MONK dashes inside his TARDIS.) PATROL LEADER DALEK: Exterminate him! Exterminate him! Whole company, fire! (Too late, the DALEKS fire, just as the MONK's TARDIS takes off. As the TARDIS fades from view, MAVIC CHEN appears and starts to move towards the DALEK group.) PATROL LEADER DALEK: They have escaped! We shall pursue them through eternity. The Taranium core must be recovered! MAVIC CHEN: This patrol is obviously out of touch with events. PATROL LEADER DALEK: What do you mean? (MAVIC CHEN is clearly showing off to the DALEKS.) MAVIC CHEN: All this hysteria is unnecessary. The operation is a complete success. I have the Taranium here! (He brings it out for the DALEKS to see.) PATROL LEADER DALEK: You have done well. Patrol, return to the time-machine. We must leave for Kembel at once. (They move away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19. DOCTOR'S TARDIS INTERIOR (SARA and STEVEN are standing while the DOCTOR is busy wiring the MONK's circuit in his own systems.) STEVEN: Yes, well, I hope that the Daleks don't catch the Monk. SARA: After all he has done? STEVEN: Yes, after all that. DOCTOR: Well, I shouldn't worry any more, my dear boy. There's no doubt about it. He's well away by now. STEVEN: Do you think he will be going for revenge again? DOCTOR: Perhaps. Perhaps. Yes, perhaps one day. But at the moment, I should say he has quite enough for us for a while. Having taken his directional unit, it's going to take him quite a time to make the necessary repairs to his ship. SARA: What about our repairs? Will the unit work? DOCTOR: Well, I am not certain. It's a Mark IV, remember. There are two possibilities: one - it will work... STEVEN: Go on, Doc... DOCTOR: Number two - the increased energy rate will certainly destroy the centre column. SARA: (Hopefully.) But we do have a chance? DOCTOR: Yes, my dear. A chance. A slim one. [SCENE_BREAK] 20. DALEK TIME SHIP (MAVIC CHEN is standing, holding the Core. The PATROL LEADER DALEK is currently in charge.) DALEK: Course for Kembel has now been computed. PATROL DALEK: Has all preparations for take-off being made? DALEK: They have. PATROL DALEK: Prepare to dematerialise... NOW! (He moves forward, touching the controls.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21. PLANET OF ICE (We see a snowstorm, and then a close view of an iceberg which wasn't there a moment ago. It's the MONK's TARDIS. The door opens and he steps out. His mouth opens at the sight.) MONK: A planet of ice. I didn't set course for this. Unl... The Doctor again... The Doctor... (He dashes back inside his craft, and a brief moment later comes out again - very angry.) MONK: He's stolen my directional unit. Now I will have to wander through time and space as lost as he is! (He shouts up to the sky.) MONK: I'll get you for this, Doctor! I'll get you one day! (He dashes back inside and closes his door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22. TARDIS INTERIOR DOCTOR: There we are. That's finished. It's a pity we haven't got a more reliable way of testing it. SARA: Well, come on. I thought you said that it was finished. DOCTOR: Yes my dear, I've finished, but... STEVEN: Oh come on, Doctor. We haven't got time for buts! This is our only hope! DOCTOR: You realize, my boy, we're taking a terrible chance. STEVEN: Then you can save your breath. We've got to try it! (The DOCTOR gasps his lapels and turns away.) DOCTOR: Very well. Pull the main switch! (STEVEN halts for a moment, and then pulls the lever. The sound of take-off can be heard, but then a massive explosion flings them to the floor...)	Plan: A: the year 4000; Q: When do the Daleks plan to conquer the Solar System? A: treachery; Q: What is at the highest levels of the Daleks' scheme? A: a weapon; Q: What is the Daleks' plan to destroy the fabric of time? A: catastrophe; Q: What can only the Doctor and his friends prevent? A: no guarantee; Q: Is there a guarantee that the Doctor and his friends will escape with their lives? Summary: In the year 4000, the Daleks conspire to conquer the Solar System. Their scheme involves treachery at the highest levels and a weapon capable of destroying the very fabric of time. Only the Doctor and his friends can prevent catastrophe - and there is no guarantee they will escape with their lives...
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.] Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition? Joey: I'm sorry, do I know you? Phoebe: What are you doing? Joey: Nothing, I'm just practicing blowing you off because I'm gonna be a big movie star! Phoebe: Oh! You got it?! Joey: Well no, not yet. But the audition went really good. Monica: What was it for? Joey: Oh, it's this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. It's really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next next Martin Scorcese. Phoebe: The next next? Joey: Yeah, there's this guy from Chicago who's supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guy's right after him. (Joey's cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello! Estelle: Joey! It's Estelle! I just talked to the casting people: they loved you! Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me! Estelle: Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow. Joey: (on phone) Oh my God! Estelle: There's just one thing. Do you have a problem with full frontal nudity? Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.) Phoebe: What's the matter? Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie! Monica: Wow! Joey: I know! My grandmother's gonna see this! Phoebe: Grandma's gonna have to get in line. Opening Credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monica's now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.] Phoebe: Hey, the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous? Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also can't wait 'til it's over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sx again until the wedding. Ross: A no sx pact huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America. Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand? Phoebe: Sure. Monica: I gotta make up the guest bedroom. (To Ross) Hey, Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with us for a few days. Ross: Cassie? Monica: Uh-hmm. Ross: Wow, I haven't seen her for, like, forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes. Monica: Ross, she's 25 years old. Ross: So what! I still have-No you're probably right. Rachel: (entering) Hi! Monica: Hey! Phoebe: Hey! Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second? Phoebe: Yeah! Monica: Subtle guys! Phoebe: What?! Monica: I know you're planning my surprise bridal shower. Rachel: (laughs) Well okay-Well don't ruin it! Just play along at least! Monica: Okay. Sorry. (She goes into the guest bedroom.) Rachel: (To Phoebe) Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is entering.] Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie? Joey: I don't know! It's not like it's p0rn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Y'know? And the nudity is really important to the story. Monica: That's what you say about p0rn. Joey: You're right. Maybe I shouldn't even go on the call back. Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean, the chance to star in a movie? Come on! Joey: Well that's true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My character's catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. It's really sweet and-and tender. Monica: Plus, everyone's gonna see your thing. (Giggles.) [Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monica's shower.] Phoebe: Well, when can we have this shower? Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday... Phoebe: Well that's only two days away. What is the other option? Rachel: Yesterday! Phoebe: Well if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo! We're done! Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, this is impossible! We can't do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! There's just too much to do! It's impossible! We can't do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it! Phoebe: Rachel, calm down! Rachel: (calmly) Okay. I'm sorry. You're right, you're right. Phoebe: (grabs and shakes Rachel) Just calm down woman! Rachel: Phoebe, I already, I already did. Phoebe: Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little. Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it? Phoebe: Uh, here. What time? Rachel: 4 o'clock. Food? Phoebe: Finger sandwiches and tea. Rachel: Ooh great! Very Monica. Phoebe: And chili! Rachel: Ah you went one too far. Uh, flowers or balloons? Phoebe: Both! Rachel: We're paying for this y'know. Phoebe: Neither. Rachel: Okay. Umm, what should we do for the theme? Phoebe: Lusts of the flesh. Rachel: (pause) What? Phoebe: I don't know. (Timidly) A cowboy theme? [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch writing when Chandler enters to make his brief cameo.] Chandler: Hey! Monica: Hey! Chandler: Y'know I'm-I'm really glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding. Monica: Oh boy, me too! Chandler: Y'know I was thinking if we had a...a big fight and uh we broke up for a few hours... Monica: Yeah? Chandler: Technically we could have sx again. What do you think, bossy and domineering?! Monica: The wedding is off, sloppy and immature! Chandler: That's me! Come on! Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for their room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we can't. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, we're supposed to have lunch. Chandler: Well, get rid of her, obsessive and shrill. Monica: Shrill?! The wedding is back on! (Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who don't know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.) Cassie: I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler. Chandler: (transfixed) Hi! Nice to meet you! Cassie: Nice to meet you too. Monica: So, are you ready to go? Cassie: Yeah. (She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say can't help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.) Monica: (catching him) Chandler! Chandler: I'll be right with you. [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.] Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place. Ross: What-why? Monica: Because Purvy Perverson over here can't stop staring at her. Ross: What?! Chandler, she's our cousin! Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. It's called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monica's eyes.) Say something. Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there. Ross: Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now. Monica: She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn. Chandler: Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding? Monica: Wafer thin ice! [Scene: A Casting Director's Office, Joey is entering for his callback.] Joey: Hey, I'm back! The Casting Director: Hi-hi Joey. Joey: Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again? The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call you. You didn't need to come down here today. Joey: Oh great! Y'know I would've been perfect for this part, but whatever! Y'know, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.) The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didn't need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it. Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasn't that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying? The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks you're really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow. Joey: Wow! Sure! That's great! The Casting Director: Oh, and your agent said you were okay with the nudity. Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just so long as it's handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold. The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, there's one more thing. Uhh, uh it's really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah, and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how she's never seen a naked man who wasn't Jewish. So... (Laughs.) Joey: So...What? The Casting Director: So uh well, the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what I'm saying? Joey: Yes! The Casting Director: Okay. Joey: No. What? The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be... Joey: Barmitsvahed? (The casting director shakes her head.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get to.] Monica: So to get this part you can't be? Joey: Nope. Monica: But you are? Joey: Yep. Monica: But you told them you weren't? Joey: That's right. Monica: Wow! Wow! And it's definitely all gone? There's nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking? Joey: I don't know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell 'em you can! And just figure out how to do it later. Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to...grow a turtleneck! Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like. Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?! Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I can't do the part. (Gets up for the phone.) Monica: Unless! Joey: Unless what? Monica: Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion. Joey: Like what? Monica: Well I'm not sure yet, but umm, off the top of my head I'm thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering and Rachel is still planning.] Phoebe: Hey! I've got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyone's names in them and inside is everyone's individual birth stone. Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still don't have a guest list. Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know that's coming? Me. Are you? Monica: (entering) Hey! Phoebe: Hey! Rachel: Hey! What's up Mon? Monica: Well uh, I'm trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge? Rachel: Have at it. Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that won't work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That won't work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that won't work. Rachel: Are you makin' him a sandwich? Monica: No it's umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, I'm gonna go guys. Phoebe and Rachel: Okay. Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.) Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monica's gone) We have to get her a present?! Phoebe: Okay but look! Look at what I got! It's her address book! (Holds it up.) We have a guest list! Rachel: Oh my God you're amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse? Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. (Holds up $40.) [Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.] Ross: (shocked at her beauty) Cassie?! Cassie: Hey Ross! Ross: Hey! Cassie: (hugs him) It's been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi. Ross: Oh. Oh, that's right. So-so you did see me that day, because it seemed like you didn't. Cassie: Ah yeah, sorry about that. Ross: It's okay. Come, come on in. Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monica's place was nice, but her fiancée sure stares a lot. Ross: Oh. (She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And I'd also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway, Cousin Ross is now staring.) Cassie: Oh my God! You do a great Chandler! Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah, I-I have a knack for impressions. Cassie: Well, maybe after we get reacquainted uh, you can do me. Ross: Yeah-No!! [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie is eating dinner and Ross is pacing behind her because of what she's eating.] Ross: Cassie, how you-how you doin' on that...hot dog. Cassie: I'm all done. Ross: (quietly) Thank God. Cassie: I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together. Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you 'til you cried? (She laughs) We're probably too old to do that now. Cassie: I'll always remember that summer, because it's when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.) Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and I'll always remember that summer because that's when I realized that we are related. Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh? Ross: Well I'm, I'm a little slow. (To himself) Just as our children would be. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Phoebe's apartment, it's Monica's bridal shower and Phoebe is passing out some finger food.] Phoebe: Hi! Woman: Hi! Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming. Woman: Oh thank you. (The other woman declines.) Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, it's so nice to see you. Woman: No. The Other Woman: No thanks. Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over to Rachel.) Hey Rach? Rachel: Yeah? Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people? Rachel: Well, I don't know. I called all the people in Monica's phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice. Phoebe: Hmm, y'know there's another word for people like that: Losers! (A woman approaches.) Rachel: (to her) Hi! I'm Rachel. This is Phoebe. I'm the maid of honor. How do you know Monica? Woman: I was her accountant four years ago. Rachel: Ohhhh! Woman: I'm very interested to find out who's been doing her taxes these last four years. Rachel: That's great! Woman: So, what time is Monica supposed to get here? Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I don't know. Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didn't tell her to come?! Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her! Rachel: No I wasn't! You were supposed to tell her to come, and I was supposed to bring the cake! Phoebe: Fine, I'll go call her. Rachel: Yes! And please tell her to bring a cake! [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.] Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on. Joey: Wow! This looks great! Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.) Joey: And-and-and-and-and the toothpicks? Monica: Oh, just until the glue dries. Joey: Thank God! Monica: (to a whole group) Now, these are-are more realistic, but perishable. Joey: Ah. Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know it's gonna shrink. Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.) Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, that's really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why don't you go into your room and try these on and we'll see-get a better idea of what's gonna work. Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird. (He goes into his room to try them on and closes the door.) Joey: Ow! Monica: Toothpick? Joey: Yeah. Monica: What are you trying on now? Joey: The fruit roll up. Monica: And? Joey: Delicious. Monica: Joey! Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner! Monica: What?! Which one?! Joey: The Silly Putty! It's not so silly anymore! (They hug.) [Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine, as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.] Ross: (in his head) She's your cousin. She's your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head she'd think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Let's back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logan's Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. I'm going in. (They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.) Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?! (They sit back up.) Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesn't have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh haven't had sx in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything. [Scene: outside Phoebe's apartment, Monica is knocking on the door.] Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! It's Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh. Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry. Monica: For what? Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower. Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it. Monica: You al-you already had it? Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and a bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave. Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you don't have either. Phoebe: We ruined everything. Rachel: Ugh... Monica: Well no, wait a minute, that's not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best. Rachel: What do you, what do you mean? Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I don't even like! (Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.) Rachel: Surprise... Phoebe: Sur-surprise. Rachel: ...Monica. [Scene: The casting director's office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.] Joey: And what's cool is, the character is from Naples, right? The Director: Yeah. Joey: My whole family's from Naples! The Director: Oh that's great! Okay, well I've heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie... The Casting Director: Joey, this is the awkward part. Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to y'know make sure I don't have any horrible scars or tattoos. Don't you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands, back up and looks down.) So there you go, that's me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joey's legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, there's a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before. Ending Credits [Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.] Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there? Cassie: Yeah! Thank you so much for letting me stay here. Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I... (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.) Cassie: (noticing her) What? Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! She's not your cousin!	Plan: A: Monica; Q: Who tries to fix Joey's audition by using Silly Putty and cold cuts? A: Monica's gorgeous cousin; Q: What is Cassie? A: Denise Richards; Q: Who played Cassie? A: visits; Q: What does Cassie do? A: a bridal shower; Q: What do Rachel and Phoebe throw for Monica? A: Joey; Q: Who auditions for a part that is perfect for him, but he is not uncircumcised? A: an uncircumcised actor; Q: What was the part Joey auditioned for not suited for? A: his 'downstairs' area; Q: What did Joey lie about in order to get the part? A: an uncircumcised man; Q: What role did Joey audition for that was not a good fit for him? A: the story; Q: What was changed on the advice of network censors? A: 4; Q: How many episodes of Friends did the episode "The One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding" have? Summary: Ross and Monica's gorgeous cousin, Cassie (Denise Richards) visits, and Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe become attracted to her. Rachel and Phoebe quickly throw together a bridal shower for Monica. Joey auditions for a part which is perfect for him, apart from it calling for an uncircumcised actor (which Joey is not). Upon finding out he lied about his 'downstairs' area, Monica tries to fix it so he can still get the part, using a variety of methods including Silly Putty and cold cuts. Note: The sub-plot where Joey auditions for the role of an uncircumcised man was originally written for The One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding but the story was changed on the advice of network censors, who thought it was tasteless. 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Angel's back office. Angel is sitting at his desk with his feet up reading a book while Doyle is pacing impatiently. Doyle: "So that's it then? That's your exciting plan for this evening? A book?" Angel: "I get enough excitement." Doyle: "Yeah - of the evil-fighting variety. How about a little off-duty fun?" Angel: "Such as?" Doyle pushes Angel's feet of the desk and sits down on the edge: "Two beautiful words: Sports Bar! (Angel gives him a look, turns his chair so he can put his feet back up on the other corner of the desk and goes back to reading his book) Come on! You know they have Trivia games on the Internet now? You can challenge against drunks around the world. Anything, please! I just can't sit around here while.." Cordelia comes into the office wearing a stunning black strapless sheath: "While I steal into the night with my incredibly-more-wealthy-then-you prince? Makes your little life seem a tad drab, doesn't it?" Doyle and Angel get up. Doyle: "Yeah, just because he has money, doesn't mean that he can make you happy." Cordelia: "I'll have you know that Pierce has a lot more than money. He has a house in Montecito, he has a Mercedes CLK 320 and a place in the hills with a lap pool." Doyle: "Since you put it that way." Knocking on door. Cordy turns to go answer it: "Well if I'm not here in the morning, you can just clear out my desk. I'll be moving on up." Cut to Pierce walking into the outer office, sees Cordy coming out of Angel's back office. Pierce: "Wow. You look amazing." Cordy with a brilliant smile: "Do I? (glances back towards Angel's office) Let's go." Angel: "What's your hurry? You didn't even introduce us." Cordy points to each in turn: "Angel, Doyle, Pierce. (takes Pierce's arm) Bye!" Angel as they are trying to leave: "You work, Pierce?" Pierce: "I trade - futures and options market." Angel: "Good. Good. - Out to dinner?" Pierce: "Le Petite Renard." Doyle: "Ah, right. Nice spot. Duck is dry." Angel to Cordy: "So, how late will you be?" Cordy: "Don't wait up. (To Pierce as she leads him out the door) Don't mind him.." Angel closes the door behind them. Doyle: "She's not going to fall for my ample but unpretentious charms, is she?" Angel: "Unless unpretentious means you don't like to brag about your family's old money." Doyle flipping through one of Angel's books: "Hey, the only money in my family is underneath the couch cushions. Not to mention the fact that half of them are demons. I'm sure if Cordy found out about that my chances would be worse then zero. (a picture of Buffy falls out of the book and Doyle picks it up) Wow. (whistles) She is something. This an old squeeze of yours?" Angel with a deep breath: "Yeah." Doyle: "Well, how does she feel about a man with an Irish accent? (sees Angel's face) Buffy." Angel folds his arms and swallows: "Yeah." Doyle: "I'm - I'm sorry.." Doyle puts his hand up to his head as he falls back onto the sofa in pain. Cut to blurry pictures of a guy hanging in some chains by his wrists. Doyle: "There is a young guy." Angel: "Where?" Doyle: "Vampires have a nest downtown. Poor kid's gonna be the entree." Angel: "Let's go. (pulls him off the sofa) Come on." Doyle: "Everybody's got dinner plans but us." Intro. Cut to the restaurant. Pierce: "See you have to study weather trends in order to make a good play in the agricultural market (Cordy is looking at him with a glazed look in her eyes) Once you do, you'll never look at soybeans the same way. God, listen to me! I'm not boring you, am I?" Cordy: "I don't mind." Pierce leans forward: "Like today, there was some heavy trading - lean hog options. The spread dropped about 1700 points. I mean in November they were trading at 6 cents. So, you know what I did? I sold at 6 and 1/8 of a cent! 6 and 1/8. Can you imagine anything more exciting then that?" Cut to Angel and Doyle fighting in the vampire nest downtown. Doyle gets thrown against a wall and his face goes demon spiky. Doyle shakes it off, morphs back to human: "Man, I hate that." A vampire is about to brain him with a beer keg when a piece of wood juts out of his chest and he dusts to reveal Angel standing behind it. Doyle: "I was about to do that." Angel: "I'd better get this guy home." Cut to Doyle and Angel walking out into the corridor. Angel has the guy's arm draped over his shoulder and is half carrying the guy. Angel: "Doyle, you're stronger when your demon, right? So why did you shake it off?" Doyle: "I just don't like to fight like that." Angel: "This isn't a spelling bee. Nobody expects you to fight fair." Doyle: "It's just not my style, that's all. You want me to go with?" Angel: "I can handle it. Just head back." As they leave the hallway a burly vampire with a topknot steps around a corner behind them. Cut to the street in front of Angel Investigations. Doyle walks up the steps and through the door while the topknot vamp is watching him. Pierce's convertible Mercedes pulls up in front of the steps. Pierce: "I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I was hoping we could make a night of it." Cordy: "Me, too. I really wanted to hear the end of the story about the pigs and beans." Pierce: "Don't you want me to take you home?" Cordy gets out: "My car is here." Pierce gets out too: "Oh, wait, let me walk you. (takes Cordy's arm and turns her towards him) I'm - I'm not really sure about this neighborhood." Topknot in vamp face: "You're right, - it's crappy!" Cordy and Pierce scream. Topknot wraps his arm around Cordy's neck from behind. Pierce jumps into his car and burns rubber out of there. Cordy biting topknot's arm: "Help!" Topknot screams and lets Cordy go for a moment then grabs her by the hair. Doyle aiming a crossbow at topknot: "Hey! I'm the one you followed here. It's me you want." Topknot: "Stay close. You'll get your turn." Doyle has trouble finding a finding a place to aim without hitting Cordy. Finally he shoots TopKnot in the left foot. Topknot screams and throws Cordy down on the street behind him, then pulls the bolt out of his shoe and lunges at Doyle with it. During their fight they roll down the steps and the bolt falls free. After more scuffling Doyle manages to grab it and stake topknot with it. Doyle looks at Cordy as they slowly get up: "Are you okay?" Cordy with a frown: "I'm fine. That was.. You're so - brave." Doyle: "You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You're stepping on my moment of manliness here." Cordy still frowning: "I'm sorry. I'm just.." Doyle: "Surprised?" Cordy: "Grateful." Cut to Angel Investigations the next day. Angel is sitting at his desk looking at some papers. Cordy: "So, here I am at Le Petite Renard with Mr. Armani, who could keep me in blue boxes for the rest of my life.." Angel: "Blue boxes?" Cordy: "Tiffany's! God! And the whole night I was bored silly. All I could think about was: if this wimp ever saw a monster he'd probably throw a shoe at it and run like a weasel. Turns out the shoe part was giving him to much credit." Angel: "There aren't very many people that wouldn't run. It's just human nature." Cordy: "Yeah, - but all of a sudden rich and handsome isn't enough for me. Now I expect a guy to be all brave and interesting. And it's your fault! Both of you." Angel: "Well, maybe not. Maybe you're changing. That could be a good thing." Cordy: "Disastrous. - And as if I wasn't confused enough, then Doyle comes along and rescues me like some - badly dressed superhero. (Sighs) He was really beat up - but you know the first thing he asked? Are you okay? I mean, that's like - substance, right?" Angel: "Yeah, well, there is definitely more to Doyle then meets the eye." Cordy: "So, I've got to kill myself. I swore when I went that road with Xander Harris, I'd rather be dead then date a fixer-upper again. (sighs) Still, maybe you're right. Maybe Doyle does have - hidden depths. I mean, really, really hidden, - but depths. And I'm gonna have to buy him a moccachino to thank him for saving my life, don't you think?" Angel: "Well, I.." Cordy gets up to leave: "Me, too. We'll be back in a half. You watch the phones, okay?" Cut to Doyle reenacting last nights fight with a ruler: "I'm the one you followed. It's me that you want, huh? (stakes his imaginary opponent while Cordy walks in behind him) Fangs for the memories, vamp man!" (Stops and notices Cordy, who waves at him) Hey I was just.. That wasn't.." Cordy: "An incredible spaz attack? Good." Doyle puts the ruler down: "So you were... What can I do for you?" Cordy: "Well, ahm, - I was thinking - that, ah - maybe I haven't been - entirely fair to you. Maybe you don't actually have zero potential." Doyle with his arms folded: "Wow, Cordelia. Thanks." Cordy: "That's not.. (sighs) What I'm trying to say is that I really appreciate what you did last night. And, uhm, - I was thinking - maybe we could.. (blond Mariah Carrey type woman steps into the office and Doyle turns to look at her) If you're looking for Angel Investigations, this is it. But we are kind of in the middle of something. Could you just give us five minutes?" Blond woman to Doyle: "Hey, Francis." Doyle shifts and swallows: "Harry." Cordy: "Francis?" Doyle to Harry: "Uhm, - where've you been?" Harry: "Around. Uhm -Kiribati - Togo - Uzbekistan - a few spots that were a - little less touristy." Cordy: "Who's Francis?" Doyle: "That would be me. - Allen Francis Doyle. - Cordelia, this is Harry - my wife." Cordy's smile vanishes as she stares at Doyle. Harry comes in and closes the door: "I'm sorry about the surprise. I would've called first but I was afraid.." Doyle: "I'd run off? That's not my style, remember?" Harry: "But it's mine? Is that what you're saying? Do you want me to remind you who fired the starter pistol? - No, let's not, okay? Let's just hug and be happy to see each other." They hug and Cordy looks away shaking her head. They separate and Doyle crosses his arms in front of him. Harry: "You look good." Doyle: "Yeah, you, too." Harry: "You're still living it up? You know that drinking's no good for you." Doyle: ""Yeah, you know me. I'm a fun-loving guy." Angel walks in: "What's going on?" Cordy: "Angel, come meet Doyle's wife." Cordy stares at him as Angel reaches out and shakes Harry's hand without any hesitation: "Nice to meet you." Harry: "Hi. Cool offices." Doyle: "Yeah, I'm a private investigator now. This is my company. (Gestures towards Angel and Cordy) These two, uhm, are my helpers." Cordy: "Ugh, that is.. (Angel hits her in the back with his elbow) ouch!" Angel clears his throat and Cordy sighs. Cordy: "You two were really married?" Harry: "Were and still - according to the paperwork." Cordy: "So, it was a green card thing." Harry looks at Doyle: "Nope, it was a 'madly in love couldn't live without each other' kind of thing. But I guess times change, because here we are, four years later and living just fine." Doyle: "So, shall we go on to why you're here exactly?" Harry: "Maybe we could talk alone?" Doyle: "Yeah." Door opens a guy sticks his head into the office. Harry: "Oh, I thought you were going to stay in the car?" Richard: "I know, but - (Comes in closing the door behind him) I admit it, curiosity got the better of me. (Goes and shakes Angel's hand) Hey, Richard Straley. I've heard so much about you. (To Harry) Say, you left out the part about him being such a handsome fellow." Angel: "I'm not.." Richard: "Oh, no, you are! Really." Angel: "I'm not Doyle. He is." Richard: "Oh, - that's more like it. (To Doyle) Not that you're not a very good-looking man." Harry: "Richard, just shake his hand." Richard: "Ah, forgive me, I'm not quite myself. What with the wedding only a few days off now." Doyle to Harry: "There's a wedding?" Richard: "I wasn't supposed to say that yet, was I?" Cordy sits down with a smile: "No, please, go on." Angel pulls her up off the couch and towards his office: "Cordelia, lets - lets go through those reports, hmm?" Cordy: "What? What reports? What?" Angel leads Cordy out. Richard to Harry: "I just.." Harry: "Hon bun? I think I should handle it from here." Richard: "I'm sorry. I just- I just want us all to be friends." Harry: "And we will be. But I need a moment alone with Francis." Richard leaves: "Sure, here, you got it." Doyle: "Hon bun?" Harry: "I didn't want you to hear it that way." Doyle: "You're - You're marrying that guy?" Harry: "I know it's wild, huh? I'm definitely the Ying to his Yang, but it works! He's got a good heart, Francis, just like you." Doyle: "Yeah, maybe, but the container, eh? - can I get a side of bland with that bland?" Harry: "I didn't come here for your approval." Doyle: "Then why? To see my face when I found out? To see if it would cut?" Harry: "Of course not. I would never.. - I just (Takes a folder out of her purse) I need you to sign these." Doyle looks at the paper inside: "Divorce papers." Harry: "It had to happen. I mean one of us.." Doyle: "Yeah, well, maybe I should get my people to look over these, before I go ahead. Make sure I'm not buying an ostrich farm." Harry: "Sure. - Tell 'your people' that I'll come back for them in a few days." Harry lays her hand on top of his put he pulls away. Harry turns as she reaches the door: "It's good to see you again, Francis." Doyle: "It's Doyle, now. It's just Doyle." Harry nods and leaves. Cut to Angel's apartment. Angel is setting two glasses on the table and pours a shot into the first one. As he tries to pour some for Doyle he puts his hand over the glass. Angel: "No?" Doyle picks up the glass and looks at it: "Harry is right. This stuff's does me no good." Angel sits down: "So, - you two hadn't been in touch at all since you split up?" Doyle: "Oh, the end was rough. - We weren't even twenty when we got married. - Crazy about each other. - And when things go wrong and you're young like that, you don't just say 'Hey, thanks for the blender, I wish you well'. You fight. - You tear each other apart until one of you can't take it. - She did the walking. But she had reason. I wasn't exactly the man she married. - I changed." Angel: "You shouldn't blame yourself. I mean, you were kids. It's only natural.." Doyle: "What, the sneeze and sprout demon face? That's decidedly unnatural, my friend." Angel: "What, you didn't tell her before you got married?" Doyle: "I didn't know. I never met my dad. He was the demon. And my mom, well, she figured she'd wait to see if I'd got his genes before she got all confessional." Angel: "So your demon self didn't present.." Doyle: "Until I was 21 - and Harry and I - we were talking about having kids of our own. - Huh, put a damper on the discussion, you can imagine." Angel: "That's tough. - I'm sorry." Doyle: "It's probably best in the long run. (Sighs) I'm too much of a wild man to be the stay-at-home type anyway, - you know? Hey, this Richard, you know, he looks like he'd give her a good life." Angel: "Yeah." Doyle: "Seems like a nice - friendly fellow, don't you think?" Angel: "Definitely friendly, - only - he seemed a bit.." Doyle jumps up: "Exactly! I knew he was no good! And even though we're ex, I mean, it's still my duty to watch over her, right? But I can't go trailing after her intended myself. I mean, it just wouldn't look right. (Leans down on the table) Angel, you think you would.." Angel: "Yeah. Just don't tell Cordelia. - She'll wanna charge you." Doyle hits him on the back of his shoulder and takes Angel's drink and downs it. Cut to Richard walking along a dark street. The camera pans up to show a dark figure following on the rooftops, jumping from roof to roof. Richard crosses the street and leans into the window of a black car stopped at the corner. When he leans back he has a small square package under his arm. Looks around to make sure no one saw him and walks off as the car drives away. Angel watches as he goes down some steps and unlocks the door into a restaurant called Straley's Steakhouse. Cut to Richard putting the package into the back of the fridge in the restaurant kitchen. Cut to Harry walking through a door into the kitchen carrying a box with Richard following behind. Harry: "I can't wait for you to see what I bought." Richard: "What is it? For the honeymoon?" Harry: "Hmm, how small do you think a nighty would have to be to fit into one of these tiny boxes?" They both laugh. Richard: "Uh-huh. - Don't move. I'll be right back." Goes into the wine pantry and pours himself some wine. After he takes a sip of it, he morphs into a red-faced demon. Walks back towards the kitchen picking up a knife on the way. Harry trying to undo the straps binding the boxes shut: "What are you doing?" Richard: "Right there, pumpkin." As he walks up behind Harry with the knife in his hand Angel jumps in through a window and tackles him. Angel hits him in the face and stomach. Richard holds up his hands, but doesn't fight back. Harry grabs Angel's arm: "Angel, stop!" Angel: "He's a demon." Harry: "Well, yeah! (Helps Richard up) Honey." Angel: "You - you know? - But he was coming at you. He had a knife!" Richard: "That was for the box strings." Angel: "Well, what about the package, huh, from the man with the cigar." Harry: "You followed him?" Richard: "That was for the restaurant. We serve a lot of delicacies - frog legs, quail tongues, and such - which isn't - illegal, per se.." Harry: "You don't have to explain, Richard. Doyle put you put to this, right? - Man! Years go by, nothing changes. Doyle decides what I need.." Richard: "Now, now - it's understandable, honey. He can't help but want to make sure you'll be in good hands. (To Angel) I can assure you.." Harry to Angel: "Tell Doyle that I'm in the best hands. Richard and his family own this restaurant. They're Ano-movic demons. Peaceful clan. Totally assimilated into our culture." Richard massages Harry's shoulders: "Harry is an ethno-demonologist, and a damn fine one, too. We met while she was scouting clans in South America." Angel to Harry: "You study demons? That's your profession?" Harry: "Do you have a problem with that?" Angel: "No! It's just.. - Doyle said.." Harry: "That when he first went through his change I freaked. Which is true. But after I adjusted, I realized here is this whole, rich, interesting world just waiting to be explored." Angel: "But you didn't tell him that." Harry: "Of course I did! I even tried to get him to go out - meet other demons. At least go to one mixer, you know? But he couldn't accept himself, - or them. So then he was just angry, and pretty much a bitch to live with." Cut to Angel's apartment. Doyle: "He's a demon? And she's all signed on to be Mrs. Demon? Tell me again how ugly he is!" Angel points to a picture in a book: "Here it is - Ano-movic. Once a nomadic tribe. At one time they did have violent leanings.." Doyle: "There! I knew this nice guy routine was just an act. He's working a spell on her. She gonna sprout hubcaps from her head or something." Angel still reading: "But they gave up those orthodox teachings, - language, - around the turn of the century. (closes the book and puts it down) Now they own a number of restaurants with pretty expensive windows." Doyle snaps his fingers: "I fully intend to chip in on that. - You know all that time Harry would go on about what an amazing thing my demon half could be, the worlds that it opened up to us, I thought she was just trying to make me feel better. I thought that she was pitying me. - But it was true. (sighs) I just wasn't listening. - You know, Harry didn't leave because of the demon in me, - she left because of me." Doyle gets up and signs the divorce papers with a sigh. Blend over into Doyle handing the papers to Harry. Harry: "Thank you Doyle." Richard shakes Doyle's hand: "Yes, thank you. You don't know how much this means to me.. - or I guess you do - seeing as you were married once - and to Harry no less." Harry: "Do you have a copier? I could.." Doyle: "Yeah, there is one in Angel's office. Cordelia will help you." Harry leaves. Richard: "Harry is an amazing girl, isn't she? - Say Doyle, uhm - I'm glad we have some man to man talk." [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Harry: "This is perfect. Richard wanted a moment alone with Doyle to ask him to his bachelor party." Cordy: "Bachelor party? Why, is he afraid he ordered too much beer?" Harry: "Richard and his family wanted Doyle's blessing before he marries me. They're sweet demons. Very into good vibes all around." Cordy: "They do sound nice." Harry: "You know, his mom told me to invite friends to my shower, but - I've been pretty much hanging only with her. You're the first girl I've met in town under 370 years old. Do you think you'd want.." Cordy: "Love to." Cut to Richard: "It would mean a lot to me. But more than that, I think it would mean the world to Harry if you came to my party." Cut to a nice house in a residential neighborhood. Richard's family is sitting together at the dinner table. Richard: "Ugh, do we really have to have the Buffalo wings? I can get the guys in the kitchen, have them whip up a Foie Gras." Dad: "It's a bachelor party, Rich. You're supposed to eat bad and drink beer." Mom carries a bucket of KFC chicken to the table: "Don't forget the girl that's supposed to do the striptease. (Everyone stares at her) What? Like I don't know? (Laughter) Just make sure all she does is tease." Richard: "Mom, I don't even want.." Brother: "Sorry, Rich, it's your bachelor party and we're going to have fun, if you like it or not." Richard: "Well, I just hope this sort of high jinx doesn't create a bad impression with Doyle." Aunt: "Who's Doyle?" Cousin: "Harry's first husband. Richard invited him." Richard: "He's really very sweet. I think you're all going to enjoy him. - All right, fine, fine. Dancing girl. I submit. - Now, where were we?" Dad reads from list: "Ah, lets see.. First we greet the man of the hour. - Then we drink. (Yays around the table) We bring out the food. Then we drink. (Yays) Then comes the Stripper. (Yays) Darts, - then we have the ritual eating of the first husbands brains, and then charades." Brother looks up from his plate: "Wait! What was that? - Charades?" Cousin: "Yeah, I don't know about that." Richard: "Really? I think it'll be fun." Everyone: "Oh, all right." Cut to night. Doyle and Angel are walking into the restaurant for the bachelor party. All of Richard's male family is there. Richard goes to hug Doyle: "Hi, Francis!" Doyle: "Doyle." Richard: "Oh, sorry, sorry. (turns to the room one arm around Doyle's shoulder) Everybody, this is Doyle." Brother sitting at a table with Cousin: "And he brought someone." Richard: "Angel. Hey! This is a surprise." Angel: "Yeah, I thought I'd use the door this time." Doyle: "I asked him to come. I hope that's okay?" Richard: "Ah, sure it is. Now the party can really start, huh? (To the whole room) Everybody, this party is for Doyle as much as it is for me, more even. He's the real bachelor here." Doyle: "Yeah, and thanks for not rubbing that in, by the way." Richard: "Let's set you up with a beverage?" Richard and Doyle walk over to the bar. Angel follows them slowly passing by the table where the brother and the cousin are sitting. Brother: "Indata mahouda menaka tant." Cousin: "Hlorwoip canano." Brother: "Hlorwoip?" Cousin: "Duh!" Angel looks at them and they give him a silly grin. Angel moves on with a slight nod. Richard is toasting with Doyle at the bar: "To Harry." Doyle: "Harry." Richard: "What was she like, Doyle?" Doyle: "Like?" Richard: "Back in the old days. The years you had her, the ones I missed. Tell me everything." Blend to Harry's shower. Harry: "It was a nightmare. Okay, maybe not at first. Initially, I really liked the way he took charge." Cordy: "Doyle?! Took charge." Harry: "It was sweet. But after a while, I mean, I know how to cut my own meat, thanks. Sometimes it felt like I was one of his students." Cordy: "That's funny, for a moment I thought you said one of Doyle's students?" Harry: "It wasn't fun being treated like a third grader, believe me." Cordy: "Grade third taught Doy.. (Waves her hand and tries again) Doyle taught third grade? The kind with children?" Harry: "Yeah." Cordy: "Are you sure he wasn't just held back and used that as his cover story?" Harry: "Francis got his teaching credentials before we even met at the food bank.." Cordy: "Okay, soup kitchen. Now that sounds like the Doyle I've come to know and revile. - And you're just about to tell me he ran it, aren't you?" Harry: "He was just a volunteer. - That's where he got the idea for the 'You Are The World' thing. (Cordy looks at her in shock) I'm kidding about that part." Aunt Martha: "Come on girls, it's pornographic pictionary time!" Harry to Cordy: "Their ways are not - our ways." Cut to the party. Angel is strolling around by himself while people are wondering about the stripper. "Where the hell is she?" - "She should be here any second, man!" - "Where is she?" - "Drink up man." - "Here's to Doyle!" (Boos and cheers) - "Doyle!" Angel is watching the brother and cousin at their table. Cut to later. Richard and Doyle drinking together at the bar. Richard: "I have a little confession to make. Ever since I learned that Harry was married before, I've felt like I've been living in your shadow." Doyle: "Really?" Richard: "You were something - I can never be for her - her first. She'll always love you, Francis. Always. - But she needs different things now. I know I can make her happy, - but I need you to be a part of it." Doyle: "Me?" Richard lays an hand on Doyle's shoulder: "I have to have your blessing, Doyle. Without it there won't be any marriage." Guy comes up and leads Richard away: "It's time, dude!" Richard: "Oh, fellas. (they set him on a chair in the middle of the room and the stripper comes up to him) Oh, god." Angel comes to stand next to Doyle as they watch the stripper teasing Richard. Angel to Doyle: "Are you okay?" Doyle: "Yeah." Angel sees the brother and the cousin leave the room and follows. He walks through a deserted kitchen and up some stairs into what looks like some type of attic. The Dad is standing in front of a candle burning beside a little pot, holding a curved knife in one hand. Dad: "Ino platbrata iko iko retvan el shak (Pulls the knife across the palm of his other hand. Some blood drips into the pot and fire flares up) Ino platbrata iko iko retvan el shak" Cut to Cordy's cell-phone ringing at the bridal party. Cordy: "Hello?" Angel on a phone in another part of the attic: "It's Angel. Where are you?" Cordy: "In the netherworld known as the 818 area code. Why?" Angel: "Let me speak to Harry." Cordy: "Hang on. (Gets up and hands the phone to Harry) It's for you. It's Angel." Harry on the phone: "Hello?" Angel: "How is your Aratuscan?" Harry: "Rusty, considering it's a dead demonic language." Angel: "Guess again. I need a translation: 'Ino platbrata iko iko retvan el shak'." Harry: "What's going on, Angel?" Angel: "I don't know yet. Will you just look into it for me?" Harry: "I guess, uhm, I could check the family library." Angel: "Thanks." Hangs up the phone and turns around only to bump into the cousin. Cousin: "Hey, what's your problem?" Angel: "No problem." Cousin pushes Angel in the chest: "Are you disrespecting me?" Angel: "No." Cousin: "So, now I'm a liar?" Cousin hits Angel twice in the face before Angel comes back and retaliates in kind. Two more of them rush up and a brawl ensues. Cut to the stripper and Richard. Cut back to the fight. Now it's four against one. They throw Angel headfirst into the wall. Cut back to the stripper. Cut back to the fight. The four of them grab Angel and throw him headfirst through some wooden ventilation slats. He rolls down the roof, bounces of the lid of a metal trash container and comes to rest unconscious on ground in front of it. Cousin: "Sad when a man can't hold his liquor." Cut to the stripper leaving and Richard getting up from his chair and walking back to Doyle by the bar. Richard: "I hope Harry doesn't hear about that." Doyle: "Not from me she won't." Richard pats him on the shoulder: "I know. You're a good half-man. - So, have you given any thought to what we discussed?" Doyle: "Yup, and I got to tell you, I've had a lot to regret in my life, but nothing more than the way things went with me and Harry. I should have made her happy, and I didn't. And now we both have a second chance. Her to be happy, and me - not to stand in the way. - I guess what I'm trying to say to you is - that I give you my blessing, Richard. (Sighs and pats Richard on the arm) God bless you. (When Richard reaches to hug him he wards him off) As long as we skip the hug thing." Richard to the room: "Hey, everyone, great news. Doyle gives his blessing. He consents." Cheering all around. Richard: "A toast to Doyle." More cheering. Dad and the other guys that beat up Angel come into the room. All the guys surround Doyle and push him back. Doyle: "No hugs, now. We had an understanding." Guy: "Doyle, we have something for you." The push Doyle into a red box with a hole in the top and lock him in so that just his head sticks out. Doyle: "You know, this is great, but I can't reach the pretzels." Richard: "Doyle, I just want to say how incredibly moved I am by your sacrifice. I hope that doesn't make me less of a man in your eyes." Doyle: "Sacrifice? - Huh?" All the guys are morphing into their red demon faces. Doyle: "Okay, this can't be good. (A guy comes up and injects something in the side of Doyle's head) Ouch! - Hey, - my head's going numb." Richard as someone put a lobster bib on him: "Well, I should hope so! We wouldn't want you to suffer when we cut into your skull." Doyle watches them hand the curved knife to Richard. Cut to Cordy and Harry looking at some books. Harry: "That can't be right." Cordy: "What?" Harry: "Something about ingesting past love." Cordy: "Wouldn't Doyle be your past love?" The look at each other then Harry gets up to talk to the rest of the party. Harry: "Excuse me ladies." Mom: "What is it, honey?" Harry: "It's about the bachelor party. Richard said having the former husband present was some sort of tradition. I was just wondering.." Aunt Martha jokingly: "Well, they're certainly not going to eat your ex-husband's brains! (Harry and Cordy grab their things and hurry out) For instance." Cut to Angel laying motionless on the street. Doyle: "Oh, god, where is Angel? ANGEL!" Cut to Doyle in the box. A guy is marking a dotted line on his forehead. Richard in his lobster bib: "Apparently he started a fight. He had to be ejected. Can I get you anything?" Doyle: "How are you going to explain this to Harry, huh?" Richard: "Oh, Harry will understand. She loves and accepts our culture, just like loved and accepted yours." Dad picks up the little fork laying next to Doyle's head on the box: "Nick, what's this?" Nick: "You said, get a utensil." Dad: "This is a shrimp fork. He's going to eat the guy's brains with a shrimp fork?" Nick: "Well pardon me if our ancient ancestors didn't leave behind any former-husband-brain-eating forks." Dad: "Get a soup spoon, you moron." Richard to Doyle: "Bear with us. We're a little fuzzy on the etiquette. This ritual hasn't been performed in centuries. It's been so long since the last time one of the clan married a divorcee." Doyle: "Huh?" Dad: "The accursed books tell us all very plainly that ingesting a priorly married prospective bride's former primary mate's fresh brains will insure a happy second marriage. This way, Richie can incorporate all the love you and Harry shared, making their union whole. It's an Ano-movic thing, don't ask." Doyle: "Look, Richard as much as I like your family, and they're great, - honest, - I'd really prefer if they didn't cannibalize me." Richard: "Oh, no! You misunderstand." Doyle: "I do?" Richard: "Yeah. It'll just be me." Doyle: "Why don't I just give you that hug and we can call it even?" Richard: "You're not trying to back out, are you? Not after you gave your blessing." Doyle: "Yeah, yeah. I take it back!" Richard: "Oh. - Well. - I see. - Now I'm not so sure I even want to eat your brains!" Dad: "Don't be petulant, Richard. You'll eat his brains. He can't take back a blessing. Now, apologize to your friend." Richard: "He's right. That was rude. I'd be honored to eat your brains." Cut to Angel getting up. The bloody cut on his forehead disappears as he morphs into his vamp face. Cut to the party. Dad: "Well, I guess we're ready. (Hands Richard the knife) Richard, would you care to make the first cut?" As everyone watches Richard and Doyle in anticipation Angel busts the double doors off their hinges taking half the frame with it. Angel in vamp face: "The party is over." Nick: "You brought a vampire to my brother's bachelor party?" Angel is laying into the Ano-movics left and right. Seems he is stronger as demon as well, and really ticked off. Doyle's box on rollers keeps getting pushed back and forth through the scuffle. The lock snaps open. Doyle in spiky demon face: "Harry says I should mix with other demons, I'll mix!" Doyle joins the fray, and though he's not doing as well as Angel he manages to inflict some damage as well. Harry runs into the restaurant, followed by Cordy. Harry: "Stop it! Stop it right this instant!" Everyone stops. Angel looks up, back in human face. Doyle is painfully getting up in a booth. Richard looking up over the back of the booth he is laying in: "Hon bun? This is for guys only." Harry: "I know what you're up to Richard Howard Straley." Richard: "The stripper wasn't my idea, pook. I swear." Harry: "Not the stripper, Richard. There was a stripper?!" Richard: "You really shouldn't be here." Cordy: "Well, you shouldn't be trying to eat my friend's brains! You horrible, ugly demon people!" Doyle sits up on the bench next to Cordy. Cordy sees his demon face, picks up a silver tray and proceeds to bash him over the head, repeatedly. Angel runs up to stop her: "Easy, Cordelia. It's OK!" Cordy to Angel: "It is so not okay! (Doyle gets up behind her back in human face. Cordy spins around and sees the marks on his head) Doyle! Oh, look what they did to you!" Harry goes to stand in front to Richard, hands on hips: "I'm only going to ask you this once, Richard, and I expect a straight answer: were you or were you not intending to eat my ex-husband's brains?" Richard sheepishly: "In a way." Harry: "And when were you planning on telling me?" Richard: "I thought maybe I wouldn't have to." Harry: "You were going to start out our life together with deceit?" Doyle to Angel: "Sort of missing the point, isn't she?" Richard to Harry: "I was just trying to bless our marriage - like in the ancient teachings." Harry: "And since when does your family follow the ancient teachings?" Uncle: "We don't flaunt our beliefs, but they're very dear to us." Harry to Uncle: "Oh, please Uncle John! When is the last time you pried your self away from ESPN long enough to spill the blood of a she-goat?" Cousin: "Are you going to let her talk to Uncle John like that?" Harry to Richard: "You know how I feel about these barbaric Ano-movician customs!" Cousin: "Racist! You're nothing but a racist!" Richard to Harry: "I should have told you. I'm sorry. But unless we complete the ritual my family will never consent to the marriage." There are murmurs of consent. Harry looks at Richard. Turns to look at Doyle and Angel, the turns back and takes Richard's hand in hers. Richard: "Hon bun?" Harry turns away and Richard looks at the engagement ring she just gave back to him. As she walks by Doyle and Angel, Doyle opens his mouth to say something. Harry: "One word, Francis, just one word and I'll eat your brains!" Angel and Doyle turn to follow her out. His brother and cousin step up to comfort Richard. Brother: "You don't need her anyway!" Cousin: "Yeah, who wants a wife whose knees only bend the one way?" Cut to Angel Investigations. Doyle is getting up from the computer and going to lay down on the sofa. Angel and Cordy are watching him through the louvered windows from his office. Cordy: "So, he spoke to her." Angel: "Yeah." Cordy: "Didn't go to well, huh?" Angel: "I think she just needs some time." Cordy: "He's still really hung up on her, isn't he?" Angel: "Hmm, - more then he knew, probably, yeah." Cordy: "Well, someone has to go out there and cheer him up." Angel looks over at Cordy then after a moment gets up. Cordy holds up a hand to stop him: "Oh, please. Someone with a heartbeat." Angel follows her to stand in the door to his office as Cordy walks over to Doyle. Cordy with a brilliant smile: "Hi, Doyle. Are you going to become loser-pining guy, like, full-time now? Because you know, we already have one of those around the office." Angel: "Hey!" Doyle: "Hey!" Cordy: "He can get away with it. He's tall and - and look at the way clothes hang on him. But you.." Angel: "Okay, I think you've cheered us up enough." Cordy: "You can't live in the past. You got to move on. Let it go. Forget it. Tomorrow is another day. (Doyle sits up on the couch) Did I mention letting it go?" Doyle: "Twice." Cordy sits down next to him with a sigh: "You'll get through this, Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last." Doyle: "You think I'm a nice guy?" Cordy: "I think it, I say it. That's my way." Doyle: "Thanks." Cordy: "Feeling better?" Doyle: "Yeah." Cordy: "Yeah?" Suddenly Doyle doubles over with pain. Cordy jumps up from the sofa. Cordy pointing at Doyle: "Not my fault." Angel: "He's having a vision." Cordy: "At this hour?" Cut to blurry pictures of Buffy fighting two guys. Doyle looks up at Angel: "Oh." Angel: "What? - What did you see?" Doyle looks at him and swallows.	Plan: A: a vampire attack; Q: What did Doyle save Cordy from? A: Doyle; Q: Who is suspicious of Harry's new fiancée? A: his chances; Q: What is Doyle optimistic about with Cordy? A: the Angel Inc. offices; Q: Where does Doyle's estranged wife show up? A: Angel; Q: Who helps Doyle investigate Harry's new fiancée? A: her divorce; Q: What does Harry want to finalize with Doyle? Summary: After saving Cordy from a vampire attack, Doyle is optimistic about his chances with her. When his estranged wife shows up at the Angel Inc. offices, though, Doyle suddenly has some explaining to do. It seems that Harry, his wife, has met someone new and she wants to finalize her divorce from Doyle. Doyle's suspicious of Harry's new fiancée. He and Angel investigate the guy and are surprised by what they find.
DEDICATED TO THE GREAT WORK OF... Eric Aasen [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.] Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father! OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.] Chandler: Hi! Joey: Hey... hey listen... What do you guys know about investments? Chandler: How come? Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it. Monica: What do you do with your money now? Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots! Chandler: Do you have any ideas? Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus... Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat. Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...) Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff! Joey: Real estate, huh? Hmmm... Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard! Chandler: (imitating Monica) Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica! Monica: My dad told me. They play golf together. Chandler: Oh, well... Maybe I'll join them some time. I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand and beat the moustache off his face. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.] Phoebe: Hi! Rachel and Monica: Hey! Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps) Monica: Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step. Phoebe: (sarcastically) Really? That hadn't occurred to me. Monica: They just gonna love you, just be yourself. Phoebe: They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue! Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself. Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither". Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither! Monica: I'm sorry honey, but we're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine. Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..." Monica: You went out with Wallis Pincer? Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me. Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400! Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean... Phoebe: So... now... What about with Mike's mom? Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had. Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT? Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.] Rachel: Hi. Ross: Hi. Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet! Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today. Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie? Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy. Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited) Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry) Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sx with women with giant asses? Ross: But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles. Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww... Ross: Please don't take her away from me! [Scene: Richard's apartment. There's a knock on the door.The listing agent opens the door for Chandler and Joey.] Catherine: Oh hi, come on in. I'm Catherine, the listing agent. Joey: Hi I'm Joey. This is Chandler. Chandler: So how come Richard's selling the place? Went bankrupt? Medical malpractice? Choked on his own moustache? Catherine: Actually, he is buying a much bigger place. It's got a great view of Central Pa..... Chandler: mmm That's enough about you! Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment? Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.) Chandler: No, no, no, no, no, NO! No, no... we're not together. We're not a couple. We're definately not a couple. Catherine: Oh... Okay, sorry! Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around) Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it. Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God! Joey: What? Chandler: There's a tape here with Monica's name on it. Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sx tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more) Chandler: Get there faster! (Joey gasps and finally understands...) [Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.] Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom. Phoebe: I'm wearing pantyhose! Mike: Great! Come on in! (Mike kisses her on the cheek. A butler walks in and takes Phoebe's coat.) Phoebe: Oh, thank you! Oh... Oh my God, you're RICH! Mike: No, my parents are rich. Phoebe: Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. (Mike's parents walk in) HELLO! Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy. Phoebe: (in a very posh accent) Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight! Bitsy: It's so nice to finally meet you! Phoebe: And you... Your home is lovely. Bitsy: Well thank you, I'll give you a tour later. It's actually three floors. Phoebe: Holy crap! Bitsy: Phoebe, why don't you come in the living room and meet our friends? Phoebe: Oh, try and stop me! Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing? Phoebe: (no accent) I'm trying to get your parents to like me. Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe... Phoebe: (accent) Got it! It... It's hard to stop... Mike: Well, come on... Theodore: Phoebe, these are our friends, Tom and Sue Angle. Bitsy: Phoebe, come sit. Tell us a little bit about yourself... So where are you from? Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer? [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Mike's parents house again.] Phoebe: God! God! This is not going well. Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad? Phoebe: Okay, okay, okay, okay... Still sure about me being myself? Mike: Absolutely! Or maybe just a little less pimp spit. Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from... Theodore: Oh... Well... Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time... Theodore: Oh no, not all the time... I do the best I can... Phoebe: Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach) Theodore: OH! OWWWWW! (Theodore grabs his stomach in agony) Phoebe: Oh my God, are you okay? Theodore: I recently had surgery. Phoebe: I'm so sorry! Theodore: No, I'll be fine... I just should check the stitches... Phoebe: I really, really am sorry. Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe) Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad? Phoebe: Yes... I'm sorry, I've never met a boyfriends parents before... Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom? Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her. Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.) Phoebe: Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight. Bitsy: Well, not at all... Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is. Bitsy: Thank you, I think so too. Phoebe: Well, and you know, it really is a testament to how he was raised. Especially to you. Because he's very respectful of women. Bitsy: Is he really? Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover. Bitsy: E-e-excuse me? Phoebe: (Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave... Bitsy: That's... my boy. (Bitsy walks away) Mike: Awesome! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Only Chandler is there with the videotape in his hands, standing in front of the TV set.] Chandler: I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? (sighs) Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. (Chandler moves to put the tape in the VCR and Joey enters the apartment) Joey: Hey dude, what's up? Chandler: Don't judge me, I'm only human! Joey: Did you take that tape? Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it? Joey: I don't know. Who'm I'm married to? Chandler: Some girl...!? Joey: She hot? Chandler: Yeah...!? Joey: How did she get me to settle down? Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it? Joey: Guess I don't know. My experience: if a girl says yes to being taped... She doesn't say no to much else, I tell ya... Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me. Joey: (backs off) What? Whoo... What? Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please? Joey: All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...) Chandler: Why am I hearing cheering? Joey: Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game. Chandler: Football? Just football? Joey: Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing. Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing? Joey: You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down) Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.] Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters) Ross: Hey! Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that... Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh? Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider... Ross: You sang Baby Got Back didn't you? Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass... [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Mike's parents house, the dining room. Mike, Phoebe, Mike's parents and the Angles are there.] Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes. Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved? Phoebe: Oh, Pervert Parade? Mike: (sighs) No... Phoebe: Oh, Ode To A Pubic Hair? Mike: Stop! (The butler serves dinner) Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal? Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian. Bitsy: Oh! Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love... Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat... Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.) Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.] Monica: So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment? Chandler: Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the p0rn star! Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private. Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out) Monica: Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it? Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches. Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache? Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants. Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him. Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache! Monica: Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters. Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air... Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again) Chandler: Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I wanna see how it ends. Monica: THAT'S NOT ME! Chandler: What...? That's not you! Life is good again! Ride 'em cowgirl! Monica: That bstrd taped over me! (Chandler's expression changes) Chandler: Is that a problem? Monica: I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor! [Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.] Theodore: I can't imagine what he sees in her. Bitsy: She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his. (Mike walks in) Oh, hello dear... Mike: Hey, what's going on? Bitsy: We were just chit-chatting. How's your friend? Mike: A little better. Bitsy: By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen. Theodore: You remember her Michael, she's lovely and... well behaved and... single. Mike: I'm not interested. Bitsy: Oh, please darling, let's be honest. You can have all the... sailor fun you want with that one, but... let's be real... Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are... Bitsy: Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! (Phoebe almost enters the room, but she hears the discussion and waits and evesdrops next to the door-opening.) Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love... Bitsy: The woman you what? (Phoebe overheard what Michael said and now enters the room) Phoebe: Yeah... The woman you what? Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life... Phoebe: I love you too... Mike: You do? Phoebe: YEAH...! How great is this...? (they kiss) Mike: Wanna get out of here? Phoebe: Okay. Mike: Mom, dad, thanks for dinner. Phoebe: I had a great time. (accent) It was really top drawer. And here's something rich: thirteen bathrooms in this place... I threw up in the coat closet... Ta taaa... [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.] Ross: She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette. Rachel: So fellas Ross: Yeah! Rachel: fellas Ross: Yeah! Rachel: has your girlfriend got the butt? Ross: Hell yeah! Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat) Ross: Shake it! Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in) Ross: Shake it! Rachel: Shake that nasty butt... Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway) Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang) Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!	Plan: A: Rachel; Q: Who is jealous that Ross can make Emma laugh? A: Ross; Q: Who can make Emma laugh by singing " Baby Got Back "? A: Phoebe; Q: Who meets Mike's parents? A: Mike's affluent parents; Q: Who does Phoebe meet? A: a snobbish accent; Q: What does Phoebe try to impress Mike's parents with? A: Richard's apartment; Q: Where did Chandler and Joey find Monica's videotape? Summary: Rachel is jealous that Ross can make Emma laugh by singing " Baby Got Back ". Phoebe meets Mike's affluent parents and tries impressing them with a snobbish accent. Chandler and Joey find a videotape in Richard's apartment with Monica's name on it.
PLANET OF THE SPIDERS BY: ROBERT SLOMAN PART FOUR 5:30pm - 5:55pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR runs quickly into his laboratory. He takes the key from his pocket and enters the TARDIS. The door shuts, the roof light flashes and it dematerialises from Earth...) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (...and rematerialises on Metebelis Three. He steps out, closes the door and looks round. Walking round the police box, he sees that he is smack in the middle of the village. All are astonished to see him expect SARAH who, held by a guard, smiles in delight.) DOCTOR: Hello, Sarah Jane. (He walks towards her.) FIRST GUARD CAPTAIN: Stop! (The guard places his stave on the DOCTOR'S arm. It glows but instead of knocking him unconscious, he spins round angrily on the man.) DOCTOR: Don't do that! QUEEN SPIDER: Let him approach. FIRST GUARD CAPTAIN: You will kneel to the most noble Queen. DOCTOR: The Queen? (He realises who the GUARD CAPTAIN is referring to and smiles.) DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Yes, of course. (He kneels down on one knee, with a touch of mockery in his face.) DOCTOR: Er, greetings, o most noble Queen. Er, may I ask what you intend to do with this young lady? QUEEN SPIDER: You do not speak like a two-leg - where have you come from? DOCTOR: Er, both Miss Smith and I come from Earth, your Majesty. QUEEN SPIDER: From Earth? Then you are the one who...no, no, that cannot be. We shall return. Bring this two-leg. We shall question him with the female. DOCTOR: Well now, just a minute, your Majesty... FIRST GUARD CAPTAIN: Over there! (A guard places another stave on the DOCTOR'S back. It glows again but once more has no effect. The DOCTOR'S patience has been tried too much though and he turns and pushes the guard back by the face. One after another the guards start to rush at the DOCTOR but he easily throws each one over his shoulder. One of the few guards left is the one holding SARAH and he joins in the fray. The DOCTOR grabs his arm and throws him as well. Seeing that SARAH is free, NESKA and REGA wrap a red shawl over her shoulders and push her to safety. They then watch as the DOCTOR wards off another two guards by spinning them both over at the same time. He looks round and then makes a run for the TARDIS but the watching GUARD CAPTAIN points a hand and a blue arc of energy crackles out and hits the DOCTOR in the back. This time he is not immune to the effects and he collapses against the police box. He feebly reaches out to the TARDIS but then his head falls to the floor. The DOCTOR'S act of defiance has stirred up the villagers and they some of them struggle feebly with the guards.) FIRST GUARD CAPTAIN: Silence! Silence! (He crouches down next to the QUEEN'S stand.) QUEEN SPIDER: So shall perish all two-legs who would dare to question our power! FIRST GUARD CAPTAIN: (Quietly.) I've never seen them like this before. QUEEN SPIDER: (Quietly.) I think it would be wise to leave. (The CAPTAIN notices who is missing...) FIRST GUARD CAPTAIN: The girl! She's gone! QUEEN SPIDER: Then you will be punished! We cannot wait. It will soon be dark. Bring the male. (As REGA hubs a sobbing NESKA, the guards lead SABOR away. Watching them go are the villagers and amongst them, hidden at the back and wrapped up in her shawl, is SARAH...) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. LAMASERY. HALLWAY (Back on Earth, MIKE YATES watches round the corner of the hallway as BARNES opens his bedroom door to allow LAND, KEAVER and MOSS in. BARNES follows them in and hangs a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on the door. MIKE creeps up to the door and starts to listen.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (REGA leads NESKA into their hut. ARAK follows and shuts the door as REGA takes her quiet mother into her room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (Outside the hut, the village is almost empty. SARAH kneels over the DOCTOR. His head rests on her knees and the shawl has been placed over him. He is quite still. A cynical TUAR is with them.) SARAH: Well can't you do something? TUAR: No, it's no good - he's dead! SARAH: (Shouts tearfully.) He can't be! TUAR: They can use their power to give pain, or to stun, or to kill. Your friend is dead. (SARAH shakes the DOCTOR.) SARAH: (Shouts.) No, Doctor! Doctor! (TUAR reaches down and grabs her arm.) TUAR: Look, leave him. If you stay out here we'll all be dead. It's almost time for the curfew. (With some force, he starts to pull her back to the hut. SARAH looks back distraught as she goes.) TUAR: Bury him tomorrow. (SARAH glances back once more and suddenly cries out...) SARAH: Look! He moved! He moved his hand! TUAR: Impossible. (She pulls out of the young man's grasp and runs towards the DOCTOR.) SARAH: I saw him! He's alive! He's alive, I tell you! (Indeed, the DOCTOR is starting to feebly groan as SARAH leans over him.) SARAH: Oh... TUAR: You're right - he is alive. SARAH: (Upset still.) Oh...oh, Doctor! [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. LAMASERY. HALLWAY (MIKE is still listening at BARNES' door.) BARNES: (OOV: Inside room.) He didn't tell me much, but he wouldn't - would he? [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. LAMASERY. BARNES' ROOM (Inside the bare little bedroom, the men are speaking quietly and urgently. Their nerves are obviously almost at breaking point.) MOSS: Where is he? BARNES: I don't know. He seemed to think he'd be taken to the home of that...that creature. LAND: The spider? (BARNES nods. MOSS paces the room as KEAVER chews on a nervous finger.) BARNES: You see, I...I didn't get the chance to...discuss it with him properly - you know what he was. KEAVER: Was? He's not dead, is he? BARNES: Well, he may be. How do I know? He's just vanished. LAND: What are we gonna do? MOSS: Get out while the going's good. KEAVER: Why? We haven't done anything criminal. MOSS: Tell that to the police! LAND: (Alarmed.) The police! BARNES: For heaven's sake! It's not that. Nobody need know yet. Perhaps he's trying to get back and can't. (Suddenly, the door handle starts to turn, somewhat loudly and obviously. BARNES quietly moves to the door as one of the men "shushes" for silence. BARNES reaches the door and pulls it open. Outside is TOMMY, a white workman's apron round him neck. He looks startled at being found. He puts on a feeble smile.) TOMMY: Hello, Barnes. BARNES: What are you doing here - spying? Is that it? (TOMMY clamps one hand over his left eye.) TOMMY: I spy - t...that's a nice game. I spy with my little eye... BARNES: Can't you read? (He points at the sign on the door. TOMMY looks at it in confusion.) TOMMY: Tommy's learning to read. M...my mum brought me a book. (BARNES roughly pushes the man back into the hallway and starts the shut the door.) BARNES: Get away from here. If I catch you spying on me again... [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. LAMASERY. HALLWAY (The door is slammed in TOMMY'S face. He stares at the sign on the door and puts a finger up at it, trying to decipher the words.) TOMMY: "D...do...do...don..." (He gives up and thinks.) TOMMY: I'll do some reading. (He hurries away. After he has gone, MIKE comes out of a side room and takes up his post again outside BARNES' door, listening to the conversation within.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (NIGHT) (The DOCTOR has been taken into the hut of SABOR'S family and lies on a low bed. He is still unconscious as SARAH tends to him. Night has fallen and ARAK peeps put of the curtained window. TUAR stands at the door as REHA brings in a candle to help light the room. A solemn bell tolls outside. SARAH hears it.) SARAH: Why is that bell ringing? ARAK: It's the curfew. It's death to be out after twilight. (The DOCTOR moans gently. His face is covered with a thin film of sweat.) DOCTOR: Ah... SARAH: He seems to be getting worse. DOCTOR: Ah... (ARAK hears the pain in her voice and comes over. He puts a gentle arm across her shoulder.) ARAK: He's dying. SARAH: No, no! (Fighting back the tears, she takes the DOCTOR'S hand in hers.) REGA: He's better dead than captured like...like Sabor. (She turns away in tears. TUAR joins his sister and comforts her.) TUAR: We shall be avenged, Rega. REGA: Will vengeance bring my father back to me? ARAK: Rega, he gave his life to save me. He gave his life for the freedom of our people. DOCTOR: (Moans.) Ah...ah... SARAH: Is there nothing we can do? REGA: Nothing - there is no cure. He should be dead. (As the curfew bell continues to toll, sounding more like a funeral bell, SARAH continues to try and hold back the tears.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. METEBELIS THREE. COUNCIL CHAMBER (NIGHT) (The QUEEN'S stand is brought by her retinue of guards into the middle of the council chamber. LUPTON is sat on the edge of her dais on which is firmly placed his SPIDER. The entire council is present.) QUEEN SPIDER: Stop. Put me down. (The stand placed on the floor. The QUEEN sees who is in her usual dais.) QUEEN SPIDER: Who is this two-leg who dares to sit in the place of Huar, Queen of Metebelis? LUPTON: I have come from Earth. QUEEN SPIDER: Silence! We do not speak with the two-leg. Answer me, sister. LUPTON'S SPIDER: This is Lupton, oh Queen. I have brought him from Earth as the council asked. QUEEN SPIDER: As the council asked? As we commanded. Guards! (The guards step towards the QUEEN'S dais.) LUPTON'S SPIDER: Perhaps the days of the Queen's commands are numbered? QUEEN SPIDER: You would dare to speak treason to my face? (There are mutters from the council.) QUEEN SPIDER: Seize the two-leg! (The guard seizes LUPTON by the arm. He stays calm.) LUPTON: You forget the crystal, oh Queen. QUEEN SPIDER: Wait! (The guard lets go of LUPTON'S arm.) LUPTON: We have the crystal. LUPTON'S SPIDER: It is true. You do not dare to harm us. QUEEN SPIDER: Where is it? Show it to us. LUPTON: We know...where it is hidden. QUEEN SPIDER: But the Great One awaits the crystal. (The council speak as one in their mantra...) SPIDERS: All praise to the Great One! LUPTON: Then the Great One will have to go on waiting until we have received the rewards of our success. (There are gasps of astonishment from the council.) QUEEN SPIDER: And you, sister? What have you to say? LUPTON'S SPIDER: I... (She falters, unable at first to speak such treason. Then...) LUPTON'S SPIDER: (Confidently.) I agree with Lupton. QUEEN SPIDER: I see. It would seem that you are not aware of the extent of your failure. LUPTON: Failure? QUEEN SPIDER: You were followed to Metebelis by two Earth spies. (For the first time, the look of calm detachment on LUPTON'S face disappears. The council again mutter to themselves at this news.) QUEEN SPIDER: The male is dead, but the female lives - a danger to the state and our person. I suggest, sisters, that until she has been captured, we refuse to listen to these...these traitors. Do you agree? (The council mutter their assent as LUPTON thinks furiously.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. LAMASERY. STAIR CUPBOARD (Back on Earth, TOMMY is within the sanctuary of his cupboard under the stairs. He takes his treasures out of his shoebox one at a time and places them on the floor. When he pulls the crystal out, he reverently places this on a high-stool almost directly in his line of sight. Satisfied, he reaches for a child's Ladybird reading book and starts to read the large and simple text with difficulty...) TOMMY: (Reads.) "Going...to school." (He turns several pages over and traces a finger over the words as he tries to decipher them.) TOMMY: (Reads.) "We...give...the...f...flowers...some..." (Suddenly, as if slightly troubled by something, he looks up at the crystal. Casting it a look, he returns to the page of his book.) TOMMY: (Reads.) "Water." (He turns the page.) TOMMY: (Reads.) "We...say...our..." (He seems to hear a slight buzzing in his mind. He falters and looks up at the crystal. Astonished, he sees that it us burning from within with a bright blue light. TOMMY stares at the glow, unable to tear his eyes away. His face screws up slightly, as if in some small pain. Struggling, he reaches up a hand to move the crystal away but his movements are slow and his eyes widen with an inner turmoil as he tries to grasp the source of his torment. As the power of the crystal reaches a climax, TOMMY manages to grab the jewel and falls to the floor unconscious.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (NIGHT) (The DOCTOR is still unconscious. SARAH is herself falling asleep but she suddenly jerks awake. She mops the DOCTOR'S brow.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. LAMASERY. STAIR CUPBOARD (TOMMY comes to. The crystal is still in his hand which lies on top of his book. He shakes his head and struggles to sit up, looking at the crystal with suspicion. He then glances down at the book and stops short. The words which previously seemed so hard to decipher now seem clear and simple. In a voice which has lost its childish quality and is now firm and adult, he reads the words aloud as he traces a finger over them.) TOMMY: (Reads.) "We...say our...prayers." (He turns the page over. Again he traces a finger and reads the words aloud but in a tone that now conveys his astonishment.) TOMMY: (Reads.) "Then we...write our...news." (He sits up and turns another page.) TOMMY: (Reads.) "We read...in the book corner." (He speaks as if a lifetime of struggle has come off his shoulders like a huge weight. In a voice filled with emotion, he turns the page again and reads without hesitation...) TOMMY: (Reads.) "We measure and we weigh!" (Gasping, he turns another page.) TOMMY: (Reads.) "We buy things at the shop!" (His voice is now an unbelieving whisper as he turns one page after another...) TOMMY: (Reads.) "We have our milk! We play in the playing ground! We dance and...!" [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (NIGHT) (REGA has just come out the back room of the hut, looking weary. ARAK and TUAR are back by their places at the window and door.) ARAK: How is our mother? REGA: Well she's asleep now though I'm afraid her dreams will frighten her awake. TUAR: I heard her call. REGA: She calls in her sleep - "Sabor" - although she was searching for him. ARAK: (Angrily.) Those vicious inhuman creatures! REGA: Shh! Keep your voice down if you must speak treason! ARAK: They make keep him alive for a week or more. If only we could rescue him. TUAR: Of course - we must attack! ARAK: It would be suicide. TUAR: Well is my brother afraid? ARAK: That I am. TUAR: A coward then? (ARAK looks menacingly at his hothead of a brother.) ARAK: Take that word back or I'll stuff it down your throat! TUAR: I'm not afraid of you - or of the eight-legs, but if you won't attack, you are a coward. ARAK: Why you...! (ARAK is about to jump at TUAR but REGA stands between them.) REGA: Stop it! Squabbling like herd-boys and your mother half-distracted! How will quarreling bring your father back? (ARAK steps back.) ARAK: We might as well throw ourselves off the cliff as attack the eight-legs. (SARAH has been half-listening to the squabble as she sits sentinel over the DOCTOR.) SARAH: If the Doctor were alive and well, he could help you. I know he could. TUAR: (Contemptuously.) How? How could he help? SARAH: (Snaps.) Well I don't know how but he could! (Almost at the end of her tether, she shakes the DOCTOR'S shoulders.) SARAH: Oh, Doctor, please wake up! (The DOCTOR'S head moves. He speaks in a voice as quiet as death...) DOCTOR: (Whispers weakly.) Sarah...? SARAH: (Delighted.) Yes?! Yes, I'm here. (She puts her head closer to listen.) DOCTOR: (Whispers weakly.) Sarah...TARDIS...in the...in the TARDIS...There's a...machine...in...that old...old leather satchel. It's the...only thing...that will save me... SARAH: (Repeats.) Machine in the old leather satchel. DOCTOR: (Whispers weakly.) Yeah... (SARAH looks over him urgently.) SARAH: The key? Doctor, where's the key to the TARDIS? (But he is unconscious again. She suddenly sees the chain peeking out of the DOCTOR'S waistcoat pocket...) SARAH: It's okay...okay... (...and takes it. As SARAH holds the precious and strangely-shaped key, REGA speaks in puzzlement.) REGA: Machine? What kind of machine can save a man's life? SARAH: I don't know, but if he needs it, I'm going to get it for him. (She goes to the door. The others make no move to stop her but ARAK speaks quietly...) ARAK: If they catch you...they'll kill you. (SARAH looks concerned for a moment but she glances back down at the DOCTOR and summons up her courage and opens the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (NIGHT) (The village is in darkness. Illumination is provided by flickering bracket torches as SARAH looks over the quiet square. She steps away from the hut and suddenly sees something. She dashes across the cobbles of the square and hides behind a pile of full sacks. Two guards carrying jewelled-staves march across the square and off into the night. SARAH keeps crouched behind the pile of sacks and she circles round them and then makes a run for the TARDIS. Reaching it, she turns the key and enters the sanctuary of the police box.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (NIGHT) (The three people in the hut have watched this from gaps in the door and curtains.) ARAK: She has courage. TUAR: She's a fool - risk her life. Nothing can save him. (He glances down coldly at the DOCTOR.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (NIGHT) (The TARDIS door opens and SARAH comes out with a heavy leather satchel. She places it on the floor in the shadows as she re-locks the door. Pocketing the TARDIS key, she steps round the corner of the police box and looks up at the sound of a familiar, mocking voice...) LUPTON: Well, well, well... (LUPTON is stood there, smiling at her with his arms crossed.) LUPTON: Our clever young female journalist. You are keen to get your story, aren't you? What a pity it will never be published. (SARAH looks upset as her attempt to save the DOCTOR looks doomed to failure...) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (NIGHT) (Inside the hut, TUAR blocks ARAK'S way as he tries to go out and help SARAH.) ARAK: Let me pass, I say. (ARAK moves forward but TUAR pushes him back.) TUAR: They'll kill you. Would you so betray our father's love? Sabor left you here in trust - to lead us in our fight for freedom. ARAK: A fine leader. One by one the eight-legs take us. Soon our settlement will be as empty as Skorda. TUAR: The people of Skorda were cowards. They didn't attack the eight-legs. They...they just sat there like...sheep in a slaughter pen, waiting for death. ARAK: But if we attack we are as dead as the people of Skorda. We must think of something else. (He looks down at the DOCTOR.) ARAK: Wait - the girl said this man could help us. TUAR: How can a dead man help us? (REGA remembers what was said earlier.) REGA: The machine! (ARAK peeks out of the curtains.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (NIGHT) (SARAH has been taken but the satchel lies forgotten at the base of the TARDIS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (NIGHT) ARAK: (To REGA.) There it is - the bag he spoke of. I'm going to get it. (He turns to his brother.) ARAK: If I don't come back - it's up to you. (TUAR makes no protest. They shake hands and ARAK quietly opens the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (NIGHT) (He steps outside. He glances round and then runs towards the satchel. He picks it up and stands against the bulk of the TARDIS, looking round and making sure that the coast is clear.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (NIGHT) (REGA steps back from the window and smiles at her brother.) REGA: Arak's not a coward. (TUAR smiles back.) TUAR: No, he's not. [SCENE_BREAK] 23: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (NIGHT) (ARAK looks round from the cover of the TARDIS. Seeing that the coast is clear, he runs back for the hut and makes it safely inside.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (NIGHT) (SABOR'S three children crouch down by the unconscious DOCTOR as ARAK opens the satchel. He opens it up and, in puzzlement, takes out the machine. It has one copper lever attached to a silver metallic base which is in the form of a handle.) TUAR: What should we do? ARAK: I don't know. (The DOCTOR comes round weakly.) DOCTOR: Sar...Sarah Jane... TUAR: She's not here. ARAK: She left this machine for you, but we don't know what we should do. (The DOCTOR'S eyes struggle open.) DOCTOR: (Whispers.) Give it to me. (He holds up his left hand and ARAK places the machine in it. The DOCTOR reaches up and grasps the copper handle in his right hand. As he does so, he seems to connect some sort of circuit and the machine starts to give out a loud buzzing noise, increasing in pitch and tone. The three young people jump back with shock. They watch as the DOCTOR points his right hand down at the ground and a bright burst of energy erupts from his fingers like lightning and shoots into the ground, as if a poison was being drained from his body. The DOCTOR settles back. He is still weak but his voice has a renewed vigour and energy.) DOCTOR: Thank you. Thank you very much. (He settles back to sleep...) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. LAMASERY. LIBRARY (NIGHT) (Night has fallen on Earth. TOMMY enters the library of the Lamasery and switches the light on. The dark wooden shelves are well stacked with volumes and TOMMY runs a hand over them until he picks one. He opens it and starts to read William Blake's verse aloud, struggling slightly with some of the unfamiliar words...) TOMMY: (Reads.) "Tiger, tiger, burning bright, In the forests of the night. What...immortal hand or eye, could frame thy...fearful s...symmetry?" (He looks down at the words with wonder.) TOMMY: That's pretty. No, that's beautiful. (He turns back to the shelves and starts to pull down volume after volume.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (NIGHT) (SARAH has been taken to the SPIDER'S base. Tow guards throw her into a blue and white chamber. A huge SPIDER hangs in a web that dangles from the ceiling. She looks round. The room is circled with several low-lying shelves and SABOR lies on one. He is wrapped in a cocoon which totally envelopes his body up to his neck. He looks up at the young girl who realises why he is held that way - she is in the SPIDER'S larder.) SARAH: No, no! (She rushes for the door but a guard places his jewelled stave on her shoulder. It glows, SARAH screams and she falls to the ground. LUPTON stands behind the guards. He looks down at her, smiling and nodding in satisfaction.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. LAMASERY. BARNES' ROOM (NIGHT) (LUPTON'S former acolytes are still in BARNES' room...) BARNES: But Lupton may not be dead. Perhaps he can't get back? MOSS: (Exasperated.) For heaven's sake! What's the point in saying the same thing over and over again?! KEAVER: But what are we going to do? [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. LAMASERY. HALLWAY (NIGHT) (Still listening outside, MIKE YATES decides that that is his cue. He knocks on the door...) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. LAMASERY. BARNES' ROOM (NIGHT) (...causing a momentary panic within. The other men look to BARNES for direction. He stands up off his bed.) BARNES: (Whispers.) Hide yourselves! (The other men rush off to various places of concealment with MOSS choosing to stand behind the door with a large stick in his hand. BARNES switches off the room light and lies down on the bed with a book in his hand. His reply to the knock affects nonchalance.) BARNES: Come in. (The door opens and YATES comes in. BARNES sits up.) BARNES: Oh, it's you. What do you want? MIKE YATES: It's alright. I heard you all talking. I think we ought to have a little chat. (YATES steps forward beyond the edge of the open door. MOSS takes his chance and clubs MIKE down to the floor. BARNES looks at the twitching MOSS, somewhat stunned by his action.) BARNES: What you do that for? KEAVER: It's a police job now! LAND: Stupid thing to do! MOSS: (Frightened.) Well, you heard him! You heard him! He said he'd been listening. (MIKE lies still on the floor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (Dawn breaks over the village and the bell tolls to signal the end of curfew.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (Inside the hut, the DOCTOR'S eyes spring open from his place on the floor. He frowns and sits up. TUAR is asleep on the floor near him while ARAK lies slumped over the table next to the curtained window.) DOCTOR: Wakey wakey! Rise and shine! Show a leg, the weather's fine! (The two brothers look at him in astonishment.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (SARAH comes round to the sound of the tolling bell. She has been wrapped in a cocoon like SABOR'S and has been placed on a shelf further long from SABOR. She looks round in puzzlement.) SARAH: Where am I? SABOR: You're a prisoner of the eight-legs. (SARAH remembers the true nature of her imprisonment and starts to struggle in the cocoon.) SABOR: It's no good struggling. SARAH: Well...what will they do to us? SABOR: Usually they eat the sheep we breed for them - they prefer human flesh. (SARAH lies back, horrified.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (The DOCTOR is sat at the table, eating a hearty breakfast out of a wooden bowl. ARAK sits next to him also eating but TUAR prefers to stand at the back of the room as he eats, watching the DOCTOR with his usual blend of suspicion and impatience.) DOCTOR: Mmm, this is good. It's very good - what is it? ARAK: Mutton broth. DOCTOR: Mutton? You have sheep on Metebelis Three? ARAK: Our ancestors brought them with them. (REGA places a rough bowl of shapeless pieces of bread on the table.) DOCTOR: Thank you. ARAK: A few who survived the crash. DOCTOR: So your ancestors were colonists? ARAK: Colonists, explorers - four hundred and thirty-three years ago, their starship came out of its time-jump with no power left, and crashed on Metebelis Three. DOCTOR: Over four hundred years ago? You know the story very well, don't you? ARAK: Sabor, my father, taught it me - just as his father taught him, and his father before. DOCTOR: (Eats.) An oral tradition so detailed - oh, it's fascinating. (TUAR has heard enough...) TUAR: Look, I don't understand you! That girl - your friend, you say, is...is a prisoner of the eight-legs, in terrible danger and you just sit there supping broth and...chattering like a woman at the wash-place! DOCTOR: Oh, Sarah'll be alright for the moment. TUAR: Well how can you tell that? DOCTOR: Because the spiders'll be watching her. They'll want to know how she got here and why. TUAR: And meanwhile my father could be killed! We must attack and attack now! (He paces the room, but ARAK has heard it before and stays calm.) ARAK: The girl said you could help us, Doctor. DOCTOR: Mmm. Yes, I think I can. But first of all I must know what we're up against. How did the spiders get here? [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (In the larder cell, SARAH and SABOR are having much the same conversation from their horizontal positions...) SABOR: The eight-legs? Why they came from Earth too. SARAH: But there aren't any spiders as big as these on Earth? SABOR: Keep your voice down, my child! That word's forbidden here. But you're quite right - an ordinary eight-legs, he must have been blown by the wind out of that crashed ship up in the mountains. There are blue crystals there. They have strange powers. SARAH: Oh, you don't have to tell me that! SABOR: Ah, then you must know that these crystals can enlarge the mind? (SARAH nods.) SABOR: Over the years, these...these spiders became cleverer and cleverer and larger and larger. By the time man found out, it were too late. [SCENE_BREAK] 35: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (In the hut, ARAK takes the DOCTOR'S empty bowl off him. TUAR sulks by the door.) ARAK: And they've ruled us ever since. A few they take and twist their minds until they become their slaves. The rest of us they rule by fear. DOCTOR: I see. ARAK: They grew angry with the people of Skorda. They kept too much food for themselves, so the eight-legs wiped them out - two hundred and sixty-nine of them, even the children. TUAR: They're quite ruthless. We must attack them now! DOCTOR: (Thinks.) Hmm. Go out and get me some stones, will you? TUAR: Stones? DOCTOR: Yes, pebbles... (He holds up his hand with his fingers and thumb in a small circle.) DOCTOR: About that big. Little pieces of rock - as many different kinds as you can. ARAK: But how can pebbles help? DOCTOR: Let's just saying I'm playing a hunch, mm? [SCENE_BREAK] 36: INT. LAMASERY. BARNES' ROOM (MIKE comes to. He is lying on BARNES' bed, a gag in his mouth and his hands tied behind his back. He struggles to sit up but, still weak from his attack, he falls back.) [SCENE_BREAK] 37: INT. METEBELIS THREE. HUT (In place of the breakfast bowls, a number of small rocks have been collected and are scattered across the table. The DOCTOR sits there, placing each pebble in turn against a sensor on the machine which drained the poisonous energy from him. Each time, the machine emits a low buzz and the DOCTOR tries another rock in its place. REGA watches in puzzlement as the DOCTOR continues.) REGA: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Why should the blue crystal be the only mineral on Metebelis Three with an unusual structure? Now I'm looking for a stone that will absorb the energy of the spider's attacks. (The machine buzzes as REGA flinches at the use of the forbidden word.) DOCTOR: Oh, I do beg your pardon...the eight-legs' attacks. (ARAK enters the hut with a sheepskin pouch in his hand.) DOCTOR: Ah, more stones. Thank you. (ARAK starts to empty the stones from the pouch onto the table. The DOCTOR tries two of them but the buzz is the same low one. When he tries a third black stone, the pitch of the buzz is loud and shrieking. ARAK and REGA jump back.) DOCTOR: Ah! That's more like it. (He examines the stone.) DOCTOR: Now we're really getting somewhere. [SCENE_BREAK] 38: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (SARAH struggles in her cocoon but it is futile.) [SCENE_BREAK] 39: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (The DOCTOR comes out of the hut as the villagers pass on their way to the fields. ARAK and TUAR are with him and he carries the machine in his hand.) DOCTOR: Follow me as soon as you can. ARAK: Do you have a stone to protect you? DOCTOR: No, I've got something much better than that. (He holds up the machine but ARAK nevertheless takes one of the small black stones out of his pocket.) ARAK: Take one, Doctor. DOCTOR: Oh, very well. ARAK: Good luck. (The DOCTOR shakes hands with the two brothers.) DOCTOR: Arak, Tuar. TUAR: Yes. (He sets off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 40: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE (The SPIDER'S base sits in a valley beneath a mountain of blue rock. The base is made up of several conical and ridged black towers, seemingly unconnected. As they come into his sight, the DOCTOR stops momentarily to look at them, then walks towards them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 41: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (SARAH is still struggling in her strange bonds. She is growing increasingly upset at the futile result of her endeavours.) SABOR: Even your young muscles aren't strong enough. Try to get some rest. SARAH: Rest? How can you be so calm?! SABOR: One is only frightened when there's hope of rescue. We have no hope left. We are dead, my child. SARAH: No! No, I won't have it! There is hope, there must be! I...might be able to escape...and...the Doctor may come to our rescue! (She lies back, not sounding convinced herself.) [SCENE_BREAK] 42: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. PASSAGE (The DOCTOR strides along one of the blue and white passages of one of the towers. He comes to a junction, chooses a direction and moves on. He comes to a second junction, and into the sight of the GUARD CAPTAIN who earlier shot him down in the village.) FIRST GUARD CAPTAIN: Halt! (He raises his arm and again fires at the DOCTOR who quickly holds his machine up. It absorbs the blue sparks. The GUARD CAPTAIN runs forward and starts to struggle with the DOCTOR. In the fight, the machine is knocked from his hand and skids across the floor. The DOCTOR is thrown after it. He reaches out for it but a foot steps onto his fingers - it is LUPTON who stares coolly at a waiting guard.) LUPTON: Well what are you waiting for? Kill him! (The guard raises his arm but before he can fire, the DOCTOR cries out and karate-chops LUPTON'S leg. LUPTON jumps back and the DOCTOR jumps to his feet.) LUPTON: Kill him! Kill him now! (A new voice rings out.) SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: Stop! (A Second Guard Captain has stepped into the corridor.) LUPTON: Obey my order. SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: You will obey me! LUPTON: You've got no right to interfere! SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: I have orders from the Queen. You are to be arrested! Captain, take him! (The FIRST GUARD CAPTAIN and the other guard step forward and apprehend LUPTON.) LUPTON: You stupid fool! DOCTOR: Oh, I wouldn't say that. He's a highly intelligent fellow - you can tell at a glance. SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: Silence! LUPTON: I shall report this! (LUPTON is dragged struggling away.) SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: You will have your opportunity. Captain, take him to the council. (LUPTON is pulled away down the corridor, crying out as he goes...) LUPTON: No! There must be some mistake! DOCTOR: Ah, poor fellah. Hope they won't be too hard on him. He fell into bad company, you know. Oh well, I must be off. (He turns and walks the other way and round a corner. The Second Guard Captain runs after him.) SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: Stop! Stop! (He catches up with the DOCTOR and grabs him by the shoulder. The DOCTOR turns, grab his arm and whips him over onto the ground. He turns to run but two other guards with jewelled staves pointed at him walk up.) DOCTOR: Oh dear, this is getting monotonous. SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: Your execution hasn't been cancelled - just postponed. (The Second Guard Captain gets up from the floor.) SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: Bring him along. (He strides away and the two guards escort the DOCTOR after him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 43: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (SARAH has given up her attempts at freedom and lies calmly in her cocoon.) SARAH: Sabor, how long do you think we've got? SABOR: Who knows? A week, a...a day, an hour. (Suddenly the DOCTOR walks into the cell. SARAH looks at him in astonishment and delight.) SARAH: Doctor! You're alive! I knew you'd come! (The DOCTOR holds up a hand for silence and then gestures behind him. The two guards walk into the cell and SARAH realises that he is as much a prisoner as her. Her head falls back.) SARAH: Oh...Doctor!	Plan: A: Sarah; Q: Who is captured by the spiders' guards? A: the Doctor; Q: Who tries to help Arak and the others strike back against the spiders? Summary: Sarah is captured by the spiders' guards while the Doctor tries to help Arak and the others strike back against the spiders.
THE BRAIN OF MORBIUS BY: "ROBIN BLAND" (TERRANCE DICKS REWRITTEN BY ROBERT HOLMES) Part Three Running time: 25:07 [SCENE_BREAK] SOLON: What are you doing here? SARAH: Oh! I heard a voice. Someone SOLON: You shouldn't be in here. Nobody's allowed in here. You could do untold damage. Now, get out! [SCENE_BREAK] MORBIUS (OOV.): Solon, have you lied to me again? SOLON (OOV.): I, Morbius, lied? SARAH: (quietly) Morbius. [SCENE_BREAK] MORBIUS: You said we were alone here. SOLON: The Doctor and the girl have only been here a few hours. Morbius, his head is perfect for the purpose. Once I have it, we can begin our final operation. MORBIUS: If the head is suitable, why haven't you already started? SOLON: I think he suspects MORBIUS: There are two of you! Your servant, Condo, has the strength of a giant. SOLON: There might be a struggle, and the brain could suffer irreparable damage. It must be in perfect condition! MORBIUS: Do you think I care about my ultimate appearance? Just to walk again, to feel, to see! SOLON: Naturally, that is how you think now, my lord, but when you are once more a physical entity, imagine how you will see yourself then. Think how it will be then. MORBIUS: Solon, I think of nothing else! Trapped like this, like a sponge beneath the sea. Yet even a sponge has more life than I. Can you understand a thousandth of my agony? I, Morbius, who once led the High Council of the Time Lords and dreamed the greatest dreams in history, now reduced to this, to a condition where I envy a vegetable. SOLON: You must endure for only a little while longer. I swear it. I have sent the Doctor into a trap. [SCENE_BREAK] SOLON (OOV.): He's gone back to the Shrine of the Sisterhood, but they are warned and they are waiting, and by sunset he will be dead. [SCENE_BREAK] SOLON: Open this door! Do you hear me? Open this door or you will die for this. [SCENE_BREAK] MORBIUS (OOV.): What is it, Solon? What has happened? SOLON (OOV.): The girl has shut me in. What a senseless gesture. What can she hope to accomplish. SOLON (OOV.): Open this door! When Condo gets back, you will die! [SCENE_BREAK] SOLON (OOV.): Do you hear me? You will die! [SCENE_BREAK] SISTERS: Sacred Flame, sacred fire. SISTERS: Sacred Flame, sacred fire. Sacred Flame, sacred fire. Sacred Flame, sacred fire. MAREN: From the sacred Flame, you have been granted the gift of eternal life. Cherish and serve the flame, my sisters. MAREN: Only you five will now survive, Ohica. OHICA: You mean there is no more Elixir? MAREN: That was the last. MAREN: Now our Sisterhood is surely doomed. OHICA: But High One, you yourself should have been among those who drank of the Elixir. It is your time. MAREN: There was only enough for five of our sisters, not for more. OHICA: Maren, you know what will happen. MAREN: It is ordained. OHICA: A message, High One, brought by Solon's servant. MAREN: (reads) The Doctor is returning. OHICA: Already? MAREN: Solon claims to have tricked him. He still bargains for the Time Lord's head. OHICA: He's an insolent fool. MAREN: No, they are both insolent, Ohica. Yet the Doctor is not a fool. Has he no fear of the Sisterhood? Does he think death a trivial thing? OHICA: What shall we do? MAREN: Be ready. Warn the guards. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Ding dong. DOCTOR: We can't go on meeting like this. [SCENE_BREAK] CONDO: Master? Master? SOLON (OOV.): Down here, Condo. Down here! [SCENE_BREAK] OHICA: Why have you returned? DOCTOR: I need some of your Elixir. MAREN: At last you confess. DOCTOR: No, not for myself. Sarah was blinded by the ray from your ring. I need the Elixir to restore her sight. MAREN: This is what Solon said? DOCTOR: Yes. MAREN: But he knows the effect of the ray is not permanent. OHICA: The girl will recover. DOCTOR: I see. A wasted journey. Well, thank you, ladies. That's really all I called about. MAREN: You have been condemned to die. DOCTOR: We're not going through all that again. If I wanted to steal from you, would I come in through the front door? MAREN: Then why did you come to Karn if not to steal? DOCTOR: I can't answer that question, Maren, until I know what Solon intends, but I have a feeling something incredibly evil is brewing. OHICA: Nothing happens on Karn without our knowledge. DOCTOR: A Time Lord could live on Karn without your knowledge. He could place a barrier around his mind. MAREN: What are you suggesting? DOCTOR: Morbius was a Time Lord. MAREN: Oh, that name again. I tell you, I saw his execution. I saw his body placed in the dispersal chamber. Nothing of Morbius, not the smallest atom, still exists. DOCTOR: Was Solon living on Karn at the time? MAREN: I believe so. There were many on Karn then. They came from all across the galaxy to attend the trial of Morbius. DOCTOR: A war criminal. A ruthless dictator, but with millions of fanatical followers and admirers. MAREN: Riff-raff and mercenaries. The army he brought to Karn was the scum of the galaxy. OHICA: He promised them the Elixir of Life and immortality. MAREN: Morbius betrayed our secret. Until then, only the Time Lords knew of the Elixir. Now we have to remain constantly on guard against the entire cosmos. DOCTOR: Yes, well, that's something else I want to mention. You really can't go on dragging innocent space travellers to their deaths. MAREN: Innocent? DOCTOR: Until proved guilty. Those spaceships might just be passing. No, if I'm going to help you, I must insist upon one thing. MAREN: What? DOCTOR: Wrecking of spaceships has got to stop. Agreed? [SCENE_BREAK] CONDO: Come. SARAH: Condo. CONDO: Master order. Find girl. Maybe kill girl. SARAH: No, no, Condo, please don't. No, please. CONDO: Come. SARAH: Let go, please, Condo. You're hurting me. CONDO: Condo not kill. SARAH: Please, Condo, let me go. CONDO: Girl nice. SARAH: Yes. Please let me go, Condo. CONDO: Master order! SARAH: No! Please, you're hurting me. CONDO: Find girl. Girl pretty. CONDO: Condo like. SARAH: Ow! If you stop breaking my arm I might like you a little bit. CONDO: Not like. Condo ugly. SARAH: Condo, please let me go. I must find the Doctor. CONDO: Doctor dead. SARAH: No, you're lying. He can't be! I know he can't. SARAH: Condo, please put me down! CONDO: Better you come now. Master want. SARAH: Please, put me down! [SCENE_BREAK] MAREN: Your arrogance is limitless, Doctor. I've only to raise my finger for you to be put to death. DOCTOR: But I'd be no use to you dead, Maren, and you do have a problem. MAREN: The Flame of Life. DOCTOR: No Flame, no Elixir. No Elixir, pretty soon no Sisterhood. MAREN: When the Flame dies, our Sisterhood dies. It is ordained. DOCTOR: There's nothing mystical about that flame, Maren. It's a perfectly natural phenomenon. If it's dying, there must be a reason. A scientific, physical reason. MAREN: I have served the Flame for centuries. There is nothing to be done. DOCTOR: Then you have nothing to lose by letting me see it. OHICA: He is right, Maren. What harm is there? MAREN: Send the guards to the outer chamber. DOCTOR: Thank you. MAREN: No eyes outside the Sisterhood have ever looked upon the Flame of Life. OHICA: It is even lower! DOCTOR: Is it always this colour? MAREN: Always. DOCTOR: Fascinating. And the heat from the flame causes oxidation of the chemicals in the rocks, and then, no doubt, a chemical reaction with rising superheated gases and you have your Elixir. The impossible dream of a thousand alchemists dripping like tea from an urn. MAREN: Do not try to understand mysteries beyond the reach of the mind. DOCTOR: Oh, I wouldn't think they're beyond a decent spectrograph, Maren. One could probably synthesise that stuff by the gallon, though the consequences would be appalling. OHICA: What do you mean? DOCTOR: What? Everyone trying to live forever? No. Death is the price we pay for progress, you know. MAREN: You speak in riddles, Doctor. The Time Lords were glad enough of the Elixir. DOCTOR: Only in rare cases. When, for instance, there's some difficulty in regenerating a body. We don't take it regularly like you, otherwise we'd fall into the same trap. MAREN: And what trap are we in? DOCTOR: Immortality. You must have been old when the Elixir was discovered. How many centuries have passed while you have remained unchanged. How long since anything here changed? MAREN: Nothing here ever changes. DOCTOR: Exactly my point. No progress. Please, stand back. MAREN: What is that? DOCTOR: A little demon. MAREN: Stop! He must not touch OHICA: The Flame is dead. MAREN: Take him. Guards! You have defiled the magic of the mountain. Now you must die! OHICA: The Sacred Flame! We are saved, High One! DOCTOR: Soot, that's all. There'll be no charge. Of course, you won't get any Elixir for quite a while yet. This rock's got to warm right through. MAREN: And so now, Doctor, you expect us to show gratitude? [SCENE_BREAK] SOLON: I don't think our young guest is going to escape again, Condo. CONDO: Master not hurt girl. SOLON: Why, I've misjudged you all this time, Condo. Under that brutish exterior there lurks a tender, compassionate nature. CONDO: Condo like girl. SOLON: Oh, he's such a romantic. SARAH: You think you're a bundle of laughs, don't you. CONDO: Hair pretty. SOLON: All right, that'll do. She doesn't like it. Now get out. Go on, get out. SOLON: Poor old Condo. Perhaps I'll give him your hair as a memento. SARAH: You're insane, Solon. You're mad. SOLON: Oh, no, I'm not. That's what they said, but they were jealous. They envied my achievements. When I said I could create life, they laughed at me, they mocked me. Only Morbius had the faith to believe in me. Only Morbius. They will laugh the other side of their faces. SOLON: Every part of this, every organ is mine, with my own hands. They'll see. And it's functioning perfectly, exactly to the required standard. It only needs the head and I (pause) It's getting dark already. Maren should have sent the Doctor's head by now. Nothing could have gone wrong. Condo saw him go into the Shrine. I don't understand it. [SCENE_BREAK] MORBIUS: Is it time, Solon? SOLON: I do not yet have the Time Lord's head, master. MORBIUS: What do you mean, Time Lord? SOLON: The Doctor. MORBIUS: The Doctor is a Time Lord? SOLON: That is why his head is so perfect. From one of your own race, from one of those who turned up on you and tried to destroy you, you get a new head for Morbius. The crowning irony. MORBIUS: Fool! SOLON: I'm sorry, the pun was irresistible. MORBIUS: You fool, Solon. Don't you see what this means? The Time Lords have tracked me down. SOLON: No, you're wrong. MORBIUS: I am not wrong. I know the Time Lords. Pallid, devious worms. You had the Doctor here and you let him go. You were tricked! SOLON: You mean Maren and the Doctor plotted together? MORBIUS: Of course they did! And now the Time Lords will return in force to finish their work. Find me helpless, defenceless. They'll destroy me, Solon. Because of you, they'll destroy me! All my suffering will have been for nothing. SOLON: And all my work. All that terrible, lonely isolation. What can I do? How can I stop them? MORBIUS: We have only one chance. You must get me away from here before they arrive. SOLON: I can't. The support cell can't be moved, and without it your brain would die. MORBIUS: The body can be my support system. You must get me into it, Solon. SOLON: That is impossible. Without a head it cannot be done. [SCENE_BREAK] MORBIUS (OOV.): You have the girl. Use her head. SOLON (OOV.): The female braincase is too small. If I were to attempt it, you would die as surely as at the hands of the Time Lords. [SCENE_BREAK] MORBIUS: I have to get out of this tank! Solon, you spoke once of constructing an artificial braincase. SOLON: I abandoned that a long time ago. MORBIUS: Why? SOLON: Because there were too many problems. Formidable problems. There was no way of eliminating the build-up of static electricity within the cranial cavity. Periodically it would have earthed through the brain, upsetting the delicate equilibrium, dislocating the neural centres. MORBIUS: But you made a braincase. SOLON: Yes! It's here somewhere. SOLON: No, it can't be done, Morbius. There would be severe pain, there would be seizures, perhaps even madness. MORBIUS: Whatever the risks are, I will take them rather than surrender to the Time Lords. There is no choice left to me, Solon. SOLON: I will do my utmost, my lord, with all the skill I have. MORBIUS: Prepare me for the operation. [SCENE_BREAK] OHICA: Maren, is what we are doing right? MAREN: It is out of our hands now, Ohica. Take him to Solon. [SCENE_BREAK] SOLON: Right, I want to start the operation. Careful, very careful. That's it, that's it. [SCENE_BREAK] SOLON: Very good. Right, over here. That's it. Be very careful. Down. Down. That's it. SOLON: Condo, I want you to work the pump. CONDO: (quietly) Condo's arm. You take Condo's arm for this. SOLON: Hurry up, man. This is no time for trivialities. The brain will deteriorate unless it's connected again soon. CONDO: You take Condo's arm! SOLON: You cretin! You stupid animal! SARAH: What happened? SOLON: You murderous animal! SARAH: Don't shoot him, Solon. What happened? SOLON: Morbius, Morbius. The greatest intellect there has ever been. SOLON: Destroyed by a mindless brute. SARAH: What happened? Solon, where's Condo? What happened? SOLON: There was an accident. Morbius' brain on the floor. SOLON: I don't know what damage has been done. You must help me. SARAH: What? Help you? No. SOLON: I need an assistant. I can't do the operation on my own. SARAH: Doctor, you can't leave me. Solon, I can't. SOLON: You will do as I say. SARAH: I can't. You can't make me. SOLON: You will do as I say! SARAH: I don't really understand. SOLON: Put your hand on this pump. Now, once every three second you SARAH: No, no, wait, wait, think. What if I make a mistake? SOLON: If he dies, you die. SOLON: The pressure. I said every three seconds, girl. I've connected the casing to a neural harness. It's much safer than the old biomechanical links. SARAH: Do I stop pumping now? SOLON: Yes. All that's left is to disconnect the external power supply to the brain and test for neural feedback. SOLON: There, did you see that? That was a positive response. Did you see that? SARAH: I can't see anything. Anyway, that thing had the twitches since I first met it. SOLON: Those were random nervous reflexes. That was a definite response to stimulation. Watch. SOLON: Did you see? You see, that was the first sign you'd expect. SARAH: Successful? SOLON: The motor centres of the brain have taken over. If there was no cerebral damage, within a few minutes Morbius will live again. SOLON: Go and answer. [SCENE_BREAK] SOLON: Morbius was wrong.	Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who attempts to restore the Sacred Flame? A: the Sacred Flame; Q: What does the Doctor try to restore to prove his good intentions to the Sisterhood? A: Solon; Q: Who prepares to connect the brain of Morbius to his body? Summary: The Doctor attempts to restore the Sacred Flame to prove his good intentions to the Sisterhood, while Solon prepares to connect the brain of Morbius to his body.
Ted (2030): It was the Fall of 2009 and I was a professor now. So I decided to change my look a little bit. And people were noticing. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. MC LAREN'S Barney: Ah, tweed. Textile of the eunuch. Marshall: You know, I've always wondered why those tweed jackets have elbow patches. Barney: Because the people who wear them are constantly going, "Aw, geez, why can't I get laid?" Marshall laughs. Ted: You are wrong. The ladies dig the professor look. Robin: You know, there is something to that. I remember thinking my tenth grade math teacher was very sexy. I wonder if Harold's still in jail. What? Tax evasion. Among other things. Lily: So guys, Marshall and I wanted to invite you to our place for a little couples' night. Robin: Uh, sure. Why not? Ted (2030): For years, Marshall and Lily had been the only married couple in a group full of single people. It got lonely, so they were always searching for another couple to double-date. There was only one problem. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. LILY AND MARSHALL' S HOME The doorbell rings, they open the door. Lily: Welcome. Marshall: (holding a tray)Gouda? Ted (2030): They sucked at it. Lily and Marshall, sitting in the sofa, laughs while the other couple is bored. Lily: This is great. We're having fun. You're having fun, right? Marshall: So, should we just go ahead and lock the four of us in for new year's? Guy: Um, it's April. Marshall: Right. Sorry. We're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's talk Thanksgiving. Lily: Our parents really want to meet you! Another day, with another couple who is bored. Guy: Well, we should probably be going. Marshall: Wait. But, wait, if you leave now, Colonel mustard just gets away with it. Woman: It's getting pretty late. We're going to go. Lily: (blocking their way) There's still pie. Another day, with another couple who is also bored. Marshall: Tonight was fantastic. We should do it again. Man: I'm sorry, Marshall, but Falguni and I are just not that into you. And you. Ted (2030): But just when Lily and Marshall were about to give up, two of their best friends in the world got together. And hope returned to their hearts. Lily: (flashback when she saw Robin and Barney kissing) Wohoo! Ted (2030): So when Lily said... Lily: Marshall and I wanted to invite you to our place for a little couples' night. Robin: Um, sure, why not? Ted (2030): Barney and Robin had no idea what they were about to walk into. Lily and Marshall are preparing the couples' night. Lily: Okay. Game time. Let's review the flow of the room. (moving in the room) Barney and Robin enter here. Stop here for margaritas. That's a great conversation starter. We can tell them about nour trip to Cabo. Marshall: Great, 'cause I got that story about Sammy Hagar Anthe Belgian waffle locked and loaded. Lily: Then we'll move on to the hot apps station. And, depending on how things are going, Some lively pre-dinner charades. Marshall: Right, but, uh, we'll play that one by... (showing his ears) Lily: Sounds like? Marshall: Okay, you can be Robin's partner. The doorbell rings. Lily: Oh... Baby, we can do this. They open the door. Lily: Welcome. Marshall: Gouda? [SCENE_BREAK] Ted (2030): Meanwhile, my half-baked theory that ladies dig the professor look was actually proving to be true. IN. MC LAREN'S Girl: So is it hard to grade papers? Ted: No, you've just got to make it fun. For example, uh, every time I spot a grammatical error, I do a shot. I'm trashed right now, and I blame our public school system. Ted (2030): Sometimes things just seem to magically fall into place. Girl: So, you said you live right upstairs... Ted (2030): Whether it's in the dating world... [SCENE_BREAK] IN. LILY AND MARSHALL' S HOME Lily: Take care. Bye. Robin and Barney leave. Ted (2030): Or the double-dating world. Lily: Nailed it! Marshall: Best night ever! Barney: (in the corridor) Worst night ever. Robin imitates a gunshot. *GENERIC [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED' S APARTMENT Ted: Hey, how was the big couples' night with Marshall and Lily? Robin: Brutal. Ted: Really? How? Barney: It was like we were on a date with a sad, chubby girl our mom made us call. Robin: And they were so nervous, that they weren't even making sense half of the time. IN. MARSHALL AND LILY'S HOME Robin and Barney just arrived for the couples' night. Lily: Hey. Come on in. Would you like a margarita? Marshall: In Cabo, I saw Sammy Hagar eating a Belgian waffle! IN. TED'S APARTMENT Barney: And they kept shoving platters of food in our faces. Ted: Let me guess: Did Marshall get, like, super intense about the cheese? Robin: Yeah, how'd you know? Ted: Poor Marshall., Lily's this gourmet cook, and all she letsMarshall do ss pick out one sad block of cheese. IN. LILY AND MARSHALL'S HOME Lily: That's prosciutto-wrapped melon. Marshall: You guys are going to want to get in on thisgouda. Lily: That's seared scallops with a mango chutney. Marshall: Seriously, don't sleep on thegouda. Lily: And that's Lobster ravioli in a black truffle oil. Marshall: Ooh...Tick-tock goes thegouda clock. Barney: Um, we-we-we didn't realize there was gonna be dinner. We sucked down a couple tacos outside the subway. Robin: P.S., not sitting great. IN. TED'S APARTMENT Barney: And if anything didn't go according to plan, they would freak out. IN. LILY AND MARSHALL'S HOME Marshall is trying to run the egg timer. Lily: What do you mean, the egg timer is broken? What are we going to use for charades, sweetie? Marshall: I'm working on it, darling. Okay? Just stall them. Lily: Now, Robin... You work in television. We're experiencing some technical difficulties. ( she laughs): You get that? We're still laughing. Right? Laugh,Marshall. Lily and Marshall laugh. IN. TED'S APARTMENT Ted: Come on, they just got excited. They've been looking for couple best friends forever. Plus, I'm sure they weren't that bad. Robin: Show him. Barney: This is a web siteMarshall already made about last night. (he takes a computer) It's called itwasthebestnightever.com. MARSHALL'S VIDEO Marshall sings while scrolling pictures of that evening. Marshall (voice): It was the best night ever laughter raining down like April showers oh, we talked for hours... best night ever... Ted: oh, that's not good. Marshall (always singing in the video): Then we played charades. Lily made some creme brulee, lay-lay-lay-lay and now that we're best couple friends there's only one thing left to say... are you free? Are you free? Are you free? Are you free? Are you free next Saturday? That's the 17th.are you free? Friday or Sunday would also work. Or basically any other day. END** Barney: Needless to say, we've both changed our e-mail addresses. Ted: I don't understand. If last night went so horribly, why do Lily and Marshall think it was such a hit? IN. LILY AND MARSHALL'S APARTMENT This is the end of the evening, Barney and Robin are about to leave. Barney: I mean, we knew we were gonna have fun tonight, but we had no idea how much. Marshall: Oh. Robin: Yeah, tough luck, every Saturday night I've ever had, 'cause this one just blew you out of the water. Barney: Let's do it again, soon. Robin: Yeah, we'll call you. IN. TED'S APARTMENT Ted: They're your friends! Why would you just blatantly lie to them like that? Robin: Well, that's what you say at the end of a crappy date. A girl go out from Ted's bathroom. Girl: Hey, Ted. Great time last night. Well, let's do it again, soon. I'll...uh, call you. She goes out of the apartment. Ted: Right? Robin: Who was that? Ted: Oh, I don't want to brag, But it seems chicks are really digging the whole professor thing. Last night, she picked me up at the bar. And then... Well, she actually wound up falling asleep on the couch. But, hey, that happens. Barney: Uh, no, it doesn't. Ted: Sure, it does. You know, she was, she was just exhausted from being turned on. But you heard her. She wants to do it again, soon. Barney: Ted, let me ask you a question. Where does this girl live, exactly? Ted: Westchester. Why? Barney: (he laughs) You're the sexless innkeeper. Robin: Oh, my god! You're right! He's totally the sexless innkeeper! Ted: What the hell is "the sexless innkeeper"? Barney: Ted, many a man--nay, many a soul--has their own tale of the sexless innkeeper. Why, I had run-in with one just last year. I even composed a poem about it. Would you care to hear it? Ted: Not really. Barney: T'was the night before new year's, and the weather grew mean. It was 3:00 in the morning, And I was stranded in queens. (2008, the whole story of Barney is illustrated with images) The tavern grew empty, the gas lights grew dim. The horse-drawn carriages were all but snowed in... Ted: Wait. If this was last year, why are you acting like it was Oliver Twist? Barney: Ted, it's a poem. Last call was approaching, and my fortunes looked bleak. Then I turned to my left and stifled a shriek. She had a peach fuzz beard and weighed 16 stone. She gobbled up hot wings and swallowed the bones. I muffled a scream and threw up in my mouth.I asked, "where do you live?"And she said, "one block south.". I swallowed my pride and six shots of whiskey. And prayed to the gods that she wasn't too frisky. Back in her cave, she prepared us a snack. 'neath her mighty hooves, the floorboards did crack. But when she returned, she found a sound sleeper. And thus she became the sexless innkeeper. And so are you Ted: Wait, you're saying that girl just used me for a place to crash? Barney: Ted, you mentioned that you live right upstairs. She saw the tweed jacket which basically says you're not interested in, nor probably even capable of, having sx. And she thought, "hey, free lodging." Ted: No way. Barney: I'm not the sexless innkeeper. Ted, that girl had no intention of ever hooking up with you. Robin: Which is funny, because usually it's the innkeeper who offers turndown service. Oh! Robin and Barney laugh and clap their hands. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. MC LAREN'S Lily: Hey, guys. Good news. First of all, you can ignore all the e-mails and texts we've sent you. Robin: We have. Go on. Lily: Because we went ahead and booked that couples' weekend for all of us inVermont! Robin: Wait, you guys were serious about that? Marshall: Oh, we never joke about b&b's, especially at the height of syrup season. Lily: Check it out. Saturday we've got apple-picking, antiquing, then a hated hay ride. Marshall: And then on Sunday, we're up at 6:00 a.m. for the fall foliage hike. Now, you better pack your long johns, 'cause it is cold up there. Barney: Look! I'm sorry that we have been dodging your calls, but we respect you guys too much as friends to give you some song and dance. You deserve the truth. (he sighs) The US Navy has found intelligent alien life at the bottom of the ocean. For reasons I can't explain, Robin and I have been tapped to lead the expedition. Lily: Wow, Barney. That kind of sounds like the stuff you say to girls when you're too much of a coward to dump them. Marshall: Yeah. You know, that's exactly what it sounds like. But if that's true, that's awesome. Lily: What's going on? Robin: Look, all the couple-y stuff, it's just not us. Barney and I are barely equipped to date each other, let alone you guys. Barney: Plus, the alien thing. Lily: Come on,Marshall. Marshall: Let's go. Robin: No...Lily... Marshall: You know what? I hope those underwater aliens are cold-blooded. 'cause then you guys will get along just fine. Lily and Marshall leave. Barney: I think they bought it. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. LILY AND MARSHALL'S APARTMENT They are both on the couch with a blanket, eating ice. Marshall: I can't believe they broke up with us. Lily: We're so lovable. Marshall: No, we're not. We're ugly and gross. Lily: I thought we did everything right. Marshall: I know! I know. We had thegouda. We had my waffle story. I even sent them a awesome photo montage. Nothing. Lily: Oh, dear god.Marshall, we've been over and over this. You have to stop sending those to people. Ted (2030): It was true.Marshall had become addicted to creating songs and photo montages documenting various mundane events. So for months, all of Marshall's friends and professional colleagues were getting e-mails like this... IN. TED'S APARTMENT Ted is watching videos in his computer. Every song in the videos is singing by Marshall and illustrated by photos of the event. Marshall (singing on the video): ordered Chinese food today some moo shu pork sauce got away flipped the cushion, now everything's okay. Another video. Marshall: Cat-sitting for Lily's mom, cat-sitting for Lily's mom, it's gonna be fun, it's gonna bring us all closer together. (in the video,Marshall let the cats going out by the window) Another video. Marshall: Cat funeral, cat funeral, it was an accident and not entirely my fault, cat funeral, meow, meow, meow, meow, ca funeral, meow, meow, meow, meow. We'll miss you, whiskers, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow... IN. LILY AND MARSHALL'S HOME Lily: I can't believe you sent them one of those. They think we're insane now. Marshall: If I recall, they didn't dump us until you brought up thatVermont trip. It was way too early. First, a boat ride around the city, then a trip toVermont. It's a rookie mistake, and you're better than that. Lily: Oh, what about you forgetting to check the egg timer for charades? I gave you one thing to do,Marshall. One thing. Marshall: One thing? (Lily nods) One thing? Wow. Really? So, I guess that gouda Just walked itself right through the door...Sliced itself up, and arranged itself in a perfect semi-circle around not three, not four... But five different kinds of sturdy, cheese-bearing crackers? Lily: You're a sturdy, cheese-bearing cracker! [SCENE_BREAK] IN. MC LAREN'S Ted: Guys, Lily and Marshall haven't been to the bar all week. They're taking this really hard. Barney: Ted, I could listen to this guilt trip all day, But don't you have to get back up to the inn? I mean, who's working the front desk? Ted: Seriously, they're your friends. You got to go apologize. Barney: To your point, Ted, as an innkeeper. Do you do that cheapy thing where you only change the linens upon request? I mean, I mean, I mean, how much water is that actually saving? Ted: Robin, you know I'm right. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. Usually, it just makes it bigger. Robin: You're right. Ted: Thank you. Robin: All that sexlessness has made you wise. Ted: For god's sake! He leaves. Barney: Mint on the pillow, Ted! And don't charge for wi-fi. It seems greedy! It does. Barney and Robin laugh. [SCENE_BREAK] Ted (2030): But eventually, even Barney and Robin had to admit they owed Lily and Marshall an apology. IN. LILY AND MARSHALL'S HOME Lily opens the door. Robin: Hey. We wanted to say we're sorry. Lily: Oh. I wish you had called. Marshall: (to a couple, inside the apartment) I swear, he was right there just eating a Belgian waffle! They laugh. Guy: Well, he can't have enjoyed it as much as I'm enjoying thisgouda! Marshall: Oh! Lily: Um, listen, now's not a good time. We'll call you. Robin: Wait. We just want... But Lily closes the door. [SCENE_BREAK] IN. MC LAREN'S Marshall: Hey! Hey, guys. Barney: Hey. Long time no see. Have a seat. Lily: Oh, we can't. We're here with Py and Shea. Marshall: Yeah, sorry. Robin: Oh, it's just... We haven't seen you guys all week. Barney: Hey, maybe all six of us could hang out. Robin: Yeah. Lily: Oh, it might be weird. We're kind of on a double date. Wouldn't want you to feel like a fifth and sixth wheel. Barney: Who the hell are these people? Lily: They just moved here fromHawaii. Py is a total foodie Marshall: Mmm! Lily: And Shea, well... She's... Marshall: Shea...Shea is just... They both laugh and sigh contentedly. Lily: Anyhoo, we can't stay long. We're just gonna grab a quick beer and then take these kooks for a boat ride around the city. Robin: Wow, it sounds like this is getting pretty serious. Marshall: Well, we don't want to jinx it, but, uh... We kind of think they might be the two. (he touches the table) Ooh. They both join their friends, letting Robin and Barney alone. Robin: Pfft, who needs 'em? Barney: Pfft. Not us. They hear laughter and then show a sad face. [SCENE_BREAK] OUT. STREET Barney and Robin are walking sadly in the street. We can hear a song: Livin' alone, we think of all the friends we've known but when we dial the telephone, nobody's home * They enter in a restaurant. Robin: Hi. Two for dinner. Woman: Just the two of you? IN. ROBIN'S APARTMENT They go home, and eat ice cream sadly on the sofa. * All by ourselves, don't want to be all by ourselves anymore, all by ourselves... * Barney: Hey, why don't we call that weird couple down the hall from you? You know, with the ferrets? Maybe they want to come over and play taboo. Robin: After midnight? No way. We can't tabooty-call them, it's pathetic. Ted comes in the apartment Ted: Hey, guys. They groan. Ted: Barney, are you wearing sweat pants? Barney: Maybe. But they're Armani. Ted: Okay, guys, I've got some bad news for you. So I'm just going to come out and say it. You're a couple. And no matter how hard you try to fight it, couples need other couples. That's why you miss Marshall and Lily. And can't you just admit that? [SCENE_BREAK] IN. MARSHALL AND LILY'S HOME Marshall, Lily and their two friends are playing Twister. Marshall: Oh, yeah! Girl: That was amazing, Lily! Lily: I know! When I got that left-hand- yellow, I was like, "what?!" Guy: You guys are the best. Marshall: Oh, right back at you! Someone knock at the door. Lily opens and there is just an egg timer. It dings. Lily and Marshall goes in the hall and find another egg timer. It dings. They continue until the building door. They open it and, outside, under the rain, there are Robin and Marshall who carry another egg timer. Robin and Barney: Ding. Marshall and Lily join them. Robin: For charades. Lily: How do we know you two won't hurt us again? Robin: You don't. Marshall: You know what? We have two very nice people up in that apartment Who are perfect for us. Barney: Then what are you doing, standing out in the rain with us? Lily: Damn it. Why is there something so attractive about a bad boy... And girl? Marshall: I think we can change them. Lily: Come here, you two. They sob. Barney: We'll never sleep on thegouda again. * all by ourselves... * [SCENE_BREAK] IN. TED'S APARTMENT Ted: Hey, Barney. I got a little poem for you. You want to hear it? Barney: No, not really. Ted: 'twas the night before, I had hours to kill. (the whole story is illustrated with images) I sat in the tavern, grading parchments with quill. Barney: With quill? Ted: Barney. It's a poem. A busty, young lassie flashed me a grin. Her garb said "classy," but her eyes whispered "sin." She said, "you're a teacher?" I said, "yes, indeed." "I must have you," she moaned."I'm turned on by tweed." With haste we did scamper to my chamber anon. We fell to the couch, and, bro, it was on. I unlaced her bodice. Our passions grew deeper. And thus ends the tale of the sexless innkeeper. Barney: No way. You made that up. A girl appears from Ted's room. Girl: Are you coming back bed, professor? Barney: Whew! Ted: God, I love being single. Robin appears from her room. Robin: Barney, you ready for brunch with Lily and Marshall? Marshall: (worried) What have I done?	Plan: A: the perfect double-date friends; Q: What do Lily and Marshall think Robin and Barney are? Summary: When Lily and Marshall realize that Robin and Barney are the perfect double-date friends, they try too hard to impress and come on too strong, forcing Barney and Robin to try to break up with them.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Boyd: I just want to hear you say it. Frankfort. Boyd: What are they offering? I write them prescriptions. They offer protection and Oxy. What do you want me to do? Boyd: Well, you're a doctor. I want you to sell it. Sell their Oxy and give you the money? [ Grunts ] Aah! Jesus! Boyd: Now, you tell your boss if he has anything to say in reply, I'll be at my cousin Johnny's bar. Bottom line, Boyd -- you and I make a lot more money as partners than as enemies. Boyd: Uh, Mr. Quarles, have you heard the term "carpetbagger"? Yes, I'm familiar with the term. Boyd: Well, then you know to a carpetbagger, "partners" just means that, well, we do all the work while you make all the money. Winona: I'm still not gonna fight with you. I'm done trying to change who you are. Okay. [ Both laugh ] Hey! How about a little something for the effort? Why not? [ Both laugh ] God bless you, girls. All right. It's okay. [ Knock on door ] [ Television playing indistinctly ] Hey. C-can we go on back? Yeah. Come on. It's okay. [ Both laugh ] Hey. Hi. Aren't you handsome? Here. This is for you. Fill, please. All right. Oh, no. That ain't gonna be enough. No, we want one of those big ones. It's gonna have to do, 'cause that's all you're getting. That's not all we're getting. No. Oh, come on, baby. There's got to be a little wiggle room in there somewhere. Sorry. It's a controlled substance. From what I can tell, you're the only one around here controlling anything. [ Laughs ] Maybe he just needs a little help... Oh, yeah. ... to get his mind off of all them rules and regulations tumbling around up in your head. [ Zipper unzips ] Hey. I -- [ car door closes ] Oh. Oh. ...when "Judge Hatchett" continues. [ Door hinges creak ] What do you want to do with your life? Don't know. [ Gunshot ] [ Gasps ] [ Grunting ] Oh! [ Breathing heavily ] Aah! No, no, no, no! [ Gun cocks ] No, no, no. Please don't! Please! Get the Oxy. Hurry up, man! I'll get back to you as soon as I can. [ Beep ] Raylan: Gayle, it's Raylan. Listen, I'm sorry to call like this. It's a little awkward, but... If you hear from Winona, will you ask her to call me? Just want to make sure she's okay. [ Cellphone beeps ] Raylan: No, I don't need you to pull it over. Just a bolo on the plate will suffice. Appreciate it, Tom. [ Sighs ] [ Cellphone beeps ] [ Footsteps approach ] Can I help you? Raylan: No, I'm good. I'm Mabel Johnston, the new court reporter, and that's my desk. Raylan: Since when? Excuse me? Raylan: Since when is this your desk? And is this you looking up Costa Rica? Judge Reardon: Hey. Hey. Raylan? Raylan: Judge. Judge Reardon: Now, now, Ms. Johnston, this man is a decorated marshal who has personally saved my bacon on more than one occasion. That give him the right to go through my computer? Raylan: That computer belongs to the federal government, and you still haven't answered my questions. Judge Reardon: Tell you what, darling. What don't you just give us a few minutes, would you, please? Thank you. What's going on, Raylan? Raylan: [ Sighs ] Winona and I were making another go of it. Judge Reardon: Oh, sh1t. She at least leave you a note? Raylan: Do you know where she is? Judge Reardon: Oh, boy. Raylan: She give you any indication where she might be headed? Judge Reardon: Raylan, you're talking to a man who's had two wives head for the hills, neither of whom was as good-looking as Winona, so I get it. You're hurt. Just trust me on this. Let it be. Give her time to sort it out. Raylan: Can't do that. Judge Reardon: What are you gonna do when you find her, huh? Gonna hit her on the head and drag her back home? Raylan: I probably shouldn't. She's pregnant. Judge Reardon: [ Sighs ] Well, then she'll reach out when she's ready. What you do not want to do is go poking around in her life. Chances are, you're gonna find something you wish you hadn't. [ Elevator bell dings ] Raylan: Morning, Charlie. Hey. Marshal Givens. What brings you down to this neck of the woods? Raylan: Oh, you know. Do you want to help me out? Be a little more specific? Raylan: I think I can handle it. If you just want to leave the book and the keys, I'll get to it. Well, if you gonna do that, what are they paying me for? Raylan: It's some evidence from a bank robbery a while back. I believe it's in [Sighs] 247. All right. [ Lock disengages ] Raylan: [ Sighs ] ♪ On this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ God get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard ♪ ♪ fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪ Tim: You owe me big for that one. Raylan: Anything interesting? Tim: I don't mind asking the FBI for favors on your behalf, but I'm not gonna read the thing for you, too. Raylan: Thanks. Art: Raylan. [ Tapping ] Raylan: [ Sighs ] Art: Just got off the phone with Tom Bergen. Raylan: Oh, yeah? Art: Apparently there was a shoot-out down in Harlan this weekend -- Raylan: Art, I'm sorry to interrupt. I need some time off. Art: Are you trying to be funny? Raylan: I'm being serious. Art: Why? 'Cause you shot the woman? Raylan, look, I know you must be worried about whether you're too quick on the trigger, but what were you supposed to do? Be a gentleman and let her go first? Not when she's pointing a gun at you. Raylan: Winona left me. Art: Oh. Well, sh1t. Raylan: Yeah. Art: Well, Raylan, I'm sorry about that. Raylan: It's all right. [ Sighs ] Art: But you're -- Raylan: No. Don't need a pep talk. Just a few days off to get my head straight. Art: You're gonna have to head down to Harlan and take care of this sh1t before it blows up all over this office. Raylan: Art, just find someone else. Art: The shooting in question took place at your aunt Helen's property out on Indian line. Johnny: I couldn't get any details. The cops were all over the place. But there was a coroner's van out front. Boyd: You talk to Arlo? Johnny: No. Ava: You think it was Quarles? Johnny: That's obvious, ain't it? We shanghaied the man's doctor, put him to work for us. Boyd: I don't want to jump to any conclusions until we know for certain. Johnny: Hey, he's got his own trailer set up out there at dove creek. I think we should hit him back. We could use the money, Boyd. Boyd: Johnny, don't tell me you can't get any details. I want you to go back out to that house, and you don't call me until you can start filling in some blanks. Go on. Let's go for a drive. How many guys were there? There were like one or maybe two. Did you see their faces? I didn't -- Oh, I did, I did. Did they see you? No. No. Hey. Yeah? Take a deep breath. God damn, girl. That does sound horrible. Okay. Oh, Jesus! Here. Oh, my God. Jesus. Let me -- let me take -- I got to get a -- [ Sobbing ] Here, put that on. Something like that happens, seeing a dear friend shot up... yeah. ...shakes you right down to the very core, don't it? I know. I know that. It's terrible, and I am-- I am sympathetic. But you must understand that we need them pills. I know. I know you do. Now, there's another clinic out on dove creek. It just opened -- No, I can't. Okay, baby. I understand. It just opened. You can't go there. [ Chuckles ] Did I ever tell you about my upbringing? My -- my parents raised me in a commune of sorts. [ Chuckles ] [ Laughing ] They did. I wouldn't call it hippie, exactly. It was mostly dope farmers. But strange as that group was... As strange as it was, we were a family. We looked after each other. Mm-hmm. Just like we do here. I know. I know you do. I know. Now, try to see it from my side. It ain't easy looking after you girls. There's doctors and clothing and food, whatnot, right? Whoring don't nearly pay the bills. It's them pills that keeps a roof over our heads. Please get someone else. No. Nope, nope, nope, nope. This is on you. Like everyone else, you must be willing to make a sacrifice. Listen to me. Listen to me. Now, poor Trixie gave her life. For what? [ Sobbing ] It's your turn. Come on, now. No. Yeah. Now, hold on. You will lay your fear aside and do what needs to be done. Now, don't you come back till you got everything I need. [ Beep ] [ Ringing ] Winona: Hi. You've reached Winona. I can't get to the phone right now, but if you'll leave a mess-- [ Beep ] Tom: The good doctor stern there had Arlo's name in his phone. Raylan: So does every doctor in the county, I imagine. Tom: Raylan, you trying to tell me you had no idea what was going on in this house? Raylan: Tom. I had no idea what was going on in this house when I lived here. Anything on that bolo? Tom: No. Is everything okay? Raylan: Yeah. But it'd be a big help if I thought you could handle this. Tom: Yeah. Raylan: Just go talk to Arlo, huh? Tom: We did talk to Arlo. Raylan: And? Tom: He told us to direct any questions we might have to his son, the U.S. marshal. [ Police radio chatter ] [ Engine turns over ] [ Indistinct conversations ] This includes your fake MRI and new I.D. Make sure you go over it all before you meet with the doctor. Come on. Got people waiting. I'm good. You good? sh1t, girl. What does that even mean -- you "good"? Oh, I just, uh... Boyd: Mr. Limehouse. Ava: Sir. You two hungry? I got a new blend on that spicy sauce. Ava: [ Chuckles ] [ Chuckles ] [ Tapping ] [ Sighs ] So, what's on your mind? Boyd: Well, the night I came out to see you on the bridge, you told me something about my business that even I didn't know. And I got to wondering, how come you know so much about me while I know so little about you? You know him? That's A.C. Coleman. Family been here long as mine-- part of the original group deeded this holler by Jeremiah and Eliza Noble. What about him -- the big boy with the plate of ribs? He look familiar to you? Jennings. Who this is? Boyd Crowder. Daddy was Bo. Dead. Brother named Bowman. Also dead. And if I may say so, Boyd done done a lot of things that leave me right surprised he's sitting here. It's always been our business to know you. Us knowing is the business of this holler. Now, why you don't know us is a question that you are welcome to ponder once you leave away from around here. Boyd: Well, our Oxy clinic got hit this morning. I imagine you know that, too. I do. Boyd: Well, I've been thinking it was Frankfort -- a man named Quarles with whom I've recently become acquainted. But before I hit back and start a war, I need to know everything I can about what transpired. The people who bank with me are the ones who have access to the things I know. Boyd: Well, I'm glad you said that because I've thinking about moving all my cash with a Ellstin Limehouse up in Nobles Holler. [ Laughs ] Well, I can't speak to Frankfort, but what I do know is two of the victims was your people, and the third was a young working girl named Trixie. Ava: [ Clears throat ] Boyd: [ Sighs ] Ava: You still think Limehouse had something to do with it? Boyd: I do not know. Ava: Wasn't acting like a guilty man. And Johnny's right -- Quarles has every reason to come after us. Boyd: Yeah, but Quarles is a very smart man, and for him to make a run at us like this-- that's mighty brazen. [ Sighs ] You know anything about Trixie? Ava: Worked at Audry's. She's joined at the hip to another girl over there -- Ellen May. Boyd: Well, maybe I should get down to Audry's and have a chat with Ellen May. Ava: Mm. Boyd: What? Ava: I'm thinking she might be more likely to open up to a woman. Arlo: Come in here, moving the furniture, hiding my sh1t... God damn it, woman. I don't find them, I'm gonna lay a strap across your back. [ Footsteps approach ] Raylan: Who you talking to? Arlo: Sneak up on a man like that a good way to get yourself shot. Raylan: By you in your boxer shorts there? I think I got the drop on you this time, Arlo. Arlo: What the hell do you want? Raylan: You know why I'm here. Arlo: I already told that pencil-dick statie I got nothing to say. Raylan: You said more than that. Arlo: That's right. "Talk to Raylan," I said. Raylan: All right, look. I know you don't give a sh1t about me or my job, and I've given up expecting you to act right. But you know the position you're putting me in here, Arlo? Arlo: Missionary. Raylan: You want to die in prison, arlo, just say the word. I'll help make it happen. Arlo: You? [ Laughs ] All I got to do is raise my hand. You'll go running to Helen like a little girl. Raylan: I don't got time for this bullshit. Tell me what was going on over there. And don't say you were honoring her memory by setting up an Oxy clinic in her home. Arlo: I didn't set nothing up. Was just helping the boy. Raylan: What boy? Arlo: The Crowder boy. Raylan: Boyd?! Arlo: Hell, yes, Boyd. Ain't Bowman. He's dead. Now go on. Find something to do. I'm busy here. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Crying ] Come here. Now, it pains me to do this to you, truly. But you've got to learn accountability, just like I had to. No, no! I-I went to the -- I went to the trailer. I went, but -- but the guy who killed Trixie was there. And he recognize you? Did he recognize you?! I don't think so! I don't think so. [ Gasping ] I need you to understand that you have failed me twice. Now, you remember that. [ Sobbing ] [ Screams ] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Send him down right away. We got a lot of exciting things going on down here. I'm sure Sammy would love to see it. Uh-huh. Okay. We'll be expecting him. Okay. Bye-bye. Get me everything you can find on the good marshal Givens. Wynn: Is there a problem? Yeah. His interest in me is drawing attention. Wynn: From whom? I was just informed that someone in the Lexington FBI office is asking questions about me, and I'm assuming it is at Givens' behest. If the marshal keeps coming and it becomes necessary to apply pressure, I want to know exactly where to squeeze. Wynn: Sure thing, boss. "Boss." [ Chuckles ] I like that. You're a good man, Wynn. I'll see you soon. Wynn: Yeah. [ Muffled shouting ] It just occurred to me. I completely -- [ Punch lands ] [ Muffled shouting ] [ Punch lands ] [ Muffled shouting ] Hello, beautiful. Ava: [ Chuckles ] Can I help you? Ava: I doubt it. Excuse me. Now, wait a second, darling. Where's the fire? You know who I am? Ava: Mnh-mnh. I'm Delroy, the owner of this establishment. Ava: I thought Nicky Cush ran Audry's. No, Nicky decided it was time to move on to greener pastures. Ava: Oh. Well, in that case, I'm Ava. Hello, Ava. Want to have a sit? Ava: Sure. Now, if you are the man in charge, then maybe you can help me. Please tell me you've come here looking for a job, darling, 'cause I forgot to play the lottery this week, and you, right here, are the winning ticket. Ava: [ Laughs ] That's sweet. But I already got a job. See, I work at the Cut & Color in Corbin. Yeah. Ava: A while back, I did a favor for one of your girls -- Ellen May? Then I got hurt, so I was laid up for a while, and now I need the cash. Well, hell, if it's cash you need, you ought to consider my offer. Ditch the burnt-out permanents and the church-lady blue rinses. That's a waste of you. Ava: Yeah. I don't... I guess I'd just rather get what's owed me and be on my way. All right. Well, Ellen May ain't feeling well. She didn't come in. I haven't seen her all day. Ava: What happened there? Yard work. Some weeds needed to be dealt with. Ava: Well, thank you. You change your mind, you know where to find me. Ava: Oh. Have a good day, now, Ava. Ava: You too. Ava. I wouldn't do that. When Delroy sees you heading for the trailers, he's gonna do to you what he already done to Ellen May. You don't remember me, do you? I'm Jennifer Corliss. But everybody, they call me -- Ava: Call you J.J. You were a year behind me in high school. Middle school. I never made it to high school. Ellen May, she don't owe you money, do she? Ava: No, she doesn't. Is this something to do with what she saw in that clinic? Boyd: And this woman, she thinks Ellen May witnessed the whole thing? Ava: Yep. But Ellen May's back in her trailer, and I can't get to her without Delroy seeing. Boyd: Uh-huh. Ava, honey, you hold tight. I'll get right back to you. Everybody, join me in a toast. To celebrate the presence of a genuine United States marshal, next round is on me. Raylan: You gonna pay for that with the money you made selling Oxy at my aunt's house? Boyd: I'm gonna go confer with my friend. Now, remember, we on the honor system. Boyd: Raylan, let me just say -- Raylan: So, this is the new you, huh? Bartending, pushing pills. Moved on from swastika and rocket launchers. Boyd: Well, the truth be told, Raylan, these days I'm doing whatever I can to make ends meet. Raylan: Oh, is that what was going down at Helen's house? That was just you making ends meet. Boyd: Look, I am sorry your name got dragged into this, Raylan. Raylan: I bet. Boyd: But with everything that is going on in this county, I am not the problem. Raylan: It's the Jews... or the blacks. Maybe it's the Muslims. The Taliban got you down? I know it's anyone but you, Boyd, so, tell me, who is the problem this time? Boyd: Well, it's funny that you bring it up that way because I've been thinking about that question all day long. Raylan: I bet. Boyd: Now, I think -- I think... Raylan: Mm-hmm. Boyd: ...If you were to go down to Audry's, Ava's there. Raylan: Stop talking and listen. You want to run your hillbilly heroin fiefdom up here, that's between you and the great state of Kentucky. I got no interest in shitkicker-on-shitkicker crime. But you will not drag me into this. Now, next time you set up any operation in this county or anywhere else, it better not have my goddamn family name on the deed, or, so help me God, I'll lose this star, and the dance we do subsequent to that will not end with you finding Jesus in a hospital bed. Boyd: [ Sighs ] Go see Ava. Raylan: You love it, don't you? Getting the law to do your dirty work. Boyd: Well, I got a big tank, Raylan. It does save on gas. Raylan: [ Sighs ] [ Beep ] Boyd: Raylan is on his way to you. Raylan: [ Sighs ] What you got for me? Ava: It's nice to see you, too. Raylan: What you got for me? [ Whimpers ] Ava: God damn it. [ Mutters ] Raylan: Ellen May? Oh, my God. Marshal. Hi. Raylan: You remember me this time, huh? Ava: Oh. You two know each other? Raylan: Yeah, we've met. Ava: Sit down, honey. Did Delroy do that to you? Oh, is it that bad? Ava: I've seen worse. Hey. Now, if you dissolve some salt in hot water, dip some cotton balls in it, and put it on your bruises, it'll keep them from getting darker. Raylan: Rough day, Ellen? It's -- it's been a tough year, marshal. Raylan: I'm sorry to hear it. So, you guys here for, um... Ava: No. No? Raylan: No. You're here for the Oxy clinic. Okay. [ Door opens ] [ Laughs ] sh1t, I guess my invite to this little "partay" got lost in the mail. Raylan: No, actually, you just weren't invited. No, see, this here is my partay, and if you want to partake, you got to see me first. Do you understand? Raylan: Yeah, I do. But not today. Today's opposite day. So if you got business in here, you need to go outside and wait your turn. Yeah? And what if I got no patience and I hate waiting? Raylan: sh1t. I didn't bring a knife. That jewelry -- it's your lucky day. Raylan: Go outside and wait your turn. Seeing as you're the law, you got three minutes. Then I'm coming back in here. Raylan: I'm looking forward to it. Yeah. Raylan: Ellen May, however you want this to go down, I will try to oblige. But I need you to tell me what you know. [ Sighs ] [ Laughs ] You're lucky, Tex, 'cause you had about 10 seconds left before I -- ooh! sh1t! Raylan: Haul your ass in for beating her, but a few hours, she'd probably be the one who bailed you out, sad as it is. So here's the deal. I'm gonna leave you both here, but I need her kept safe. You understand? Anything happens to her, I'm gonna hold you personally responsible. So, what are you gonna do? You have no ide-- ooh! Oh! Raylan: Hey. What are you gonna do? Make sure Ellen May don't get hurt. Ava: Thanks for coming by, Raylan. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Hey, I think we got a problem. All right, that's it for today! Everyone move on out! Get in the cab. When he gets inside, you punch it-- you understand me? Got it. Raylan: Where's everybody going? Afraid it's about closing time for us. Raylan: Oh, yeah? You just close up and move on, huh? Like the circus. Community clinic. Raylan: Hold up. Are you a bearded lady? No, sir. We're a legitimate health organization. Raylan: Oh, yeah? Well, I got a few more questions. Do you mind? Sure thing. After you. Raylan: No, no. After you. That's quite a limp you got there. Yeah. Old football injury. Raylan: That right? Tell me what you know about the Oxy clinic over on Indian line. Nothing. Raylan: You sure? You fit the description of a man an eyewitness described murdering three people there this morning. [ Gunshots ] [ Screams ] [ Coughing ] Raylan: [ Breathing heavily ] [ Police radio chatter ] Raylan: Still no sign of the guy I threw out the trailer, huh? Tom: No. We got the dog teams coming out to search the woods, but he had a pretty good head start on us. Raylan: Yeah, I don't know how fast he'll be going. He hit the ground at a pretty good clip, plus he was limping to begin with. Tom: Is that right? Raylan: Keep me posted. Tom: I will. Nothing on the bolo? Tom: No. Sorry, Raylan. We got lucky last time. Raylan: Last time? Tom: Yeah. When you was in the hospital after you got shot, I guess nobody could find Winona, so Art had us put out a bolo on her. Raylan: I didn't know that. Tom: Yeah. One of our boys located her outside Louisville. Raylan: Louisville? Tom: Yeah. Raylan: Thanks. Tom: Sure. Wynn. [ Chuckles ] Well, you look like a man who has something to say. Wynn: There have been some interesting developments down in Harlan. I'm listening. Wynn: Boyd Crowder's Oxy clinic was hit this morning. Well, ain't that a kick in the head? Who do we have to thank for that? Wynn: It wasn't you? Oh. Little obvious for my tastes... Though I'm sure you won't be alone in thinking that I was responsible. Wynn: It may be a coincidence, but a few hours after the hit, Raylan Givens shut down our trailer. Gus was killed. Teddy and Tanner slipped away. [ Laughs ] Oh, sh1t. That's awesome. Wynn: Is it? Because that isn't the word I would have used. Oh, come on. That's not a bad trade-off -- losing a clinic but smoking out a dirty marshal in the process. Wynn: Raylan Givens never struck me as bent. Oh, come on. There's no way Givens is on to our clinic that fast without an inside lead. I'm just surprised that Crowder has that kind of pull. I mean, to have a marshal in your back pocket -- that is a big play. Wynn: Yeah. "Yeah" what? Wynn: Givens' father, arlo, is a part of Boyd's crew. Oh. So, how was your day, son? Was it a good day? Was it a productive day? Was it memorable? [ Scoffs ] How'd you figure it out? Is that really the question you want to ask me right now? I was gonna bring it to you soon as the dust settled. Dust settled -- sh1t. You still don't even know what you done, do you? I was just trying to clear the playing field. You know, get us control of things -- why? What? Say you was able to start a war between Frankfort and Crowder. Nobody ever found out you fired the shot that started the whole thing, and they wipe each other off the face of this earth -- then what? Well, then we run this sh1t. Oh. So that's what you want. Be a gangster. Gold chains and champagne and the hos and sh1t. Oh, son. We have survived in these hills on our own for 15 decades by staying among ourselves. Yeah, but it ain't got to be like that anymore. When your foolishness brings this war to our doorstep, how long do you think we gonna last then? What we got to be scared of? They got guns. We got guns, too. Guns enough for the law? And for all the hillbillies that are gonna start taking it personal when we start killing white folks? They always wanted us gone, and now you done exposed us to every buried hate-filled desire in this county. And when the blood starts to spill, it will be on your hands. All right. You right. I stepped out. You gonna have to do what you gonna have to do, then, 'cause I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees. No. You ain't gonna get off that easy. Now, first, you gonna make things right with Trixie's family. That girl trusted us, and you done got her killed. And then you gonna make sure whoever you used to hit that clinic is either dead or silent. And then... then I suppose I'm gonna finish what you started. And you gonna be right there on the front line to watch all that you done created come to a head, one way or another. Raylan: [ Sighs ] No. Raylan: I haven't said anything. Well, when you do, the answer will be "No." Raylan: You never called me back. She's my baby sister, Raylan. Raylan: Well, I need to see her. Well, didn't we just cover that? Raylan: Look, it's not that simple, Gayle. I'm here on official business. You've got to be kidding. Raylan: All right. There are two ways this can go. You can go get her, or I'll come in and get her myself. Try it. Winona: Gayle, it's okay. Behave yourself. Winona: I guess you didn't read my note. Raylan: Oh, no. I read it. Both sentences, each so terse I figured you must have written it at gunpoint. When I saw that Costa Rica sh1t on your computer, that's when I realized you took the goddamn money. Winona: What? What money? What are you talking about? Raylan: If you think I'm gonna help you put it back this time, then you really are crazy. Winona: You -- you came here because you thought I took evidence money to go to Costa Rica? Raylan, I know that note was abrupt, but that doesn't mean I -- Raylan: How about, "I'm sorry I wrote the note at all"? Winona: I didn't -- but I steal any money, Raylan. Raylan: Don't lie to me. Winona: I'm not lying to you. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Then why did you disappear like that? Winona: Because I found myself in the middle of an empty house almost two months' pregnant with nowhere to go. Raylan: I know. I'm supposed to have looked at some houses, and I haven't done that yet, but -- Winona: Raylan. Raylan: No, just listen to me. Can we get your stuff and get out of here? Winona: [ Sighs ] Raylan: I thought you wanted to go to Glynco anyway. Winona: Yeah, and since the last time you brought up Glynco, you've been shot. And I watched you shoot a guy in your motel room -- the third guy, might I add, that you've shot in that motel room. So, you want me to raise a baby around that, Raylan? I can't do that. Raylan: Fine. Don't. Let's go. We can go to Glynco still. Winona: [ Scoffs ] Oh, my God. Raylan: What? Winona: Do you remember, when we were first married, that Tuesday-night poker game you used to go to? Come hell or high water, you never missed that poker game. You even -- you even chased a fugitive for three days straight without any sleep over a weekend, I swear to God, to go to that stupid poker game. Raylan: What's your point? Winona: My point is, if you wanted to change your life for me, Raylan, you would have done so by now. Raylan: [ Sighs ] So, that's it. You're gone, huh? Winona: I've been gone for weeks. [ Sighs ] I can't believe you thought I took that money again after all the sh1t we went through to put it back. Raylan: Saw all that Kenny Chesney on your computer, I figured you were capable of anything. Winona: I love Kenny Chesney. Raylan: Apparently you do. [ Chuckles, sighs ] So, what now, hmm? How does this work? Me and you apart and a baby between us? Winona: I don't know. But I know we still love each other. And we'll love the baby. And we'll figure it out. Raylan: We weren't even fighting. Art: Well, you know you're in trouble when the drums stop. Raylan: Says the man who knew she already left me just a few weeks ago. [ Glasses clink ] Art: I didn't know she'd leave you again. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] That's funny. Art: [ Chuckles ] Raylan, I thought she'd tell you herself. Raylan: Tim know? Rachel? Fantastic. Art: Well, now we need to talk about something awkward. Raylan: More awkward than what we just talked about? Art: [ Laughs ] Remember that bill that popped a couple months ago? Raylan: Are you joking? Art: Treasury called this morning. Another one popped. Raylan: Where? Art: El Paso. Raylan: El Paso? Well, has anyone talked to Charlie-- ask him to take a second look? Art: No. Charlie went home sick Tuesday, and I haven't been able to get in touch with him. Raylan: Well, I saw Charlie Tuesday. He seemed fine. Art: Did he, now? Where you heading? Wherever the road takes me. It's, uh, first day of retirement. First day of the rest of my life. Identification, please. You be careful. This is dangerous country, amigo... Filled with desperate men. [ Engine turns over ] [ Tires screech, engine revving ]	Plan: A: Raylan; Q: Who finds Winona at her sister's house? A: the Secret Service money; Q: What does Raylan discover has disappeared from evidence? A: Quarles' associates; Q: Who hit Boyd's Oxy clinic at Aunt Helen's house? A: Arlo; Q: Who leads Raylan to Boyd? A: Limehouse's involvement; Q: What do Boyd and Ava suspect? A: her pimp; Q: Who does Raylan convince the survivor of the hit to help him? A: Tanner's mobile Oxy clinic; Q: Where does Raylan throw Tanner from a moving truck? A: Duffy; Q: Who tells Quarles of the situation? A: war; Q: What does Quarles want to start? A: his assistant; Q: Who did Limehouse confront about the hit on Boyd's Oxy clinic? A: his henchman; Q: Who does Limehouse refuse to execute? A: the money; Q: What does Winona deny taking? A: Art; Q: Who helps Raylan find the evidence clerk? A: the elderly evidence clerk; Q: Who fled to Mexico with the money? Summary: Looking for Winona, Raylan discovers the Secret Service money has disappeared from evidence again. Quarles' associates, led by Tanner (Brendan McCarthy), hit Boyd's Oxy clinic at Aunt Helen's house. Raylan is led to Boyd by Arlo, who seems disoriented and is talking to himself. With the help of Boyd and Ava, who suspect Limehouse's involvement, Raylan tracks down the survivor of the hit and convinces her to help him after laying into her pimp. Tracking down Tanner's mobile Oxy clinic, Raylan throws Tanner from the moving truck and shoots the driver, but Tanner escapes. Duffy tells Quarles of the situation, believing him responsible, but Quarles is ecstatic at the prospect of war. Limehouse confronts his assistant, who reveals he gave up Boyd's Oxy clinic to Tanner. Refusing to simply execute his henchman, Limehouse assures him he will on the front line to watch what he started. Raylan finds Winona at her sister's, and she denies taking the money but explains she left because she is resigned to it never work with him. Raylan and Art realize that the elderly evidence clerk fled to Mexico with the money when one of the bills pops up in El Paso, Texas.
Opening teaser begins with Sandy signing his name in at the jailhouse. He looks over at Ryan and walks towards him, sitting down. Sandy: We got to stop meeting like this. Some good news. Kirsten's company has dropped all arson charges, which means, pending your probation hearing, you'll be out, no problem. Ryan: When's that? Sandy: 30 to 60 days. I could have you out sooner, if I could release you into the care of a parent or a guardian. Ryan looks to the side and sees Luke getting let out and hugging his mom. Ryan: He gets to leave? Sandy: Who? Luke? Well, according to both of you, the fire was an accident, and he's got no priors. His record's clean. Luke and Ryan exchange angry glares. Ryan: And he has someone to take him home. Sandy: Ryan, you know, if I could...It's going to be okay. Ryan: (scoffs) My mom ditched me. I burned your wife's house down. How is this going to be okay? Sandy: We'll find your mother. Ryan: And what if we don't? Sandy: We will do whatever it takes. Ryan: I mean, what if I don't want to find her? Sandy: If only you'd come to me...instead of running away... Ryan: Why? So I can end up in Child Services and foster care? Sandy: You could have died in that fire. Ryan: Look...you've done more than enough. I can take care of myself. Won't be that different from how it's been. (He gets up and starts to walk away.) Sandy: We'll talk again before your hearing. Ryan: Tell your...wife...thanks. Sandy: Already did. Ryan walks out of the room and back behind the bars. He walks past his other cellmates and accidentally bumps into him. The guy gets into his face. Ryan: Sorry. Guy: You ain't now, but you will be. Sandy slows down as he walks by, watching all that's going on. Ryan looks back at him and is pushed by one of the guys to keep walking. End teaser. [SCENE_BREAK] We hear Kirsten talking to Rosa as Sandy walks in. Kirsten: Now all we need are the Bellinis...and can you make mine a double? Sandy: Wow, you're all set up for your Newpsie convention. Hey, when do these vultures land? Kirsten: Soon...and I'm sure that I have a doily out of place somewhere. Sandy: Good. Gives 'em something to talk about. I don't know why you have these women over. You don't like them. Kirsten: I don't don't like them. I grew up with these women. They're my oldest friends. Besides, it's for charity. Sandy: What's on the agenda? What event are you dragging me to this week? Kirsten: Casino night. Sandy: You know this home-from-the-office housewife thing...It's really... Kirsten: Disturbing? Sandy: Hot. It's disturbingly hot. Kirsten walks away smiling as Seth walks in quietly. Sandy: Hey. Whatcha doing? Seth: (He starts fixing himself cereal.) Nothing. I'm grounded. Sandy: Well, you're handling it well. You're lucky you're only grounded. Seth: Can I see him? Sandy: Ryan? No. There's nothing I can do for him right now. Seth: Yeah? You think he's okay? Sandy: Well, there's a reason why I like to try to keep kids out of those places. Seth: And, you just...can't get him out, or you're just not a good enough lawyer? Sandy: My hands are tied unless I can find his mother. Seth: So, then, why can't he stay here? Kirsten: I will not have this conversation again. (Turns away from them) Rosa, can you make sure that the scones go inside. Seth: Yeah, well, if anything happens to Ryan, then it's all on you--so I just hope you can live with that. Kirsten: What I can't live with is if something was to happen to you because of him. Seth: Like I meet someone who doesn't suck? Kirsten: We are not his parents. I am not his mother. Seth: (starts to walk away) Good thing. Sandy: Hey! Get back here. Apologize. Seth continues to walk away and the doorbell rings. Rosa answers it, and we see it's Kirsten's friends. Sandy: Ladies. Julie: Sandy, hi. How are you? (She kisses his cheek) Are you holding up okay? That poor boy. He's locked up, yes? Sandy: Yeah, temporarily. Julie: Well, nobody blames you for bringing him into the community. You're so trusting, Sandy. She walks away towards another woman. Woman: Hey, Julie, their house looks good. I thought you said it burned down. Julie: Oh, not this one--one of Kirsten's developments. Luckily, she has so many. Sandy: Well, I should be off. Got to find the next kid to jeopardize the community. Maybe a black kid. Or an Asian kid. Bye, ladies. He leaves as the women stay quiet and look at each other. Kirsten: How about a Bellini? All: Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Ryan getting his food at the jail. As he's walking, the same guy that he bumped into yesterday hits his tray out of his hands and slams him onto the table. He holds a fork and his arm to Ryan's neck, choking him. Guy: You sorry now? You got a problem? You disrespecting me? As long as you're here, you best watch out for me, man. He lets him go and pushes him to the ground. Ryan sits up slowly. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut back to Kirsten and her friends. Julie: Well, I think it's an absolute embarrassment that the fund-raiser is two days away, and we still don't have a theme. First woman: Well, I thought it was Casino Night. Second woman: I thought it was Monte Carlo Night. Third woman: No, it's Vegas Night. Julie: See, this is a travesty. First woman: It can't be Monte Carlo Night. Cotillion is coming up. I mean, don't you remember out amendment? No two black tie events in the same month. Kirsten: I'll be right back. Um, I have to go uh...check on the thing. Julie: She's been through so much. Her son...was friends with that boy. We cut to Seth in his room. He grabs his skateboard and jacket and leaves the house quietly, passing by the living room where the women are talking about the fund-raiser. Kirsten: Where do you think you're going? Seth: (sighs) What are you doing out here? Kirsten: I'm taking a Newpsie break. Where are you going? Seth: I'm not going anywhere. Kirsten: (Warningly) Seth. Seth: I'm going to juvie to visit Ryan. Kirsten: No, no you are not. No way. Seth: Okay, bye. (Turns to leave) Kirsten: Seth. I know that I am not the perfect Carol Brady mom, but I love you and I am trying to protect you. I have dropped all the charges on him. I have hired somebody to find his mother. What more do you want? Seth: I would like you to go with me. Julie: (opens the door) Kirsten? Oh, there you are. We're talking about the bunting. Is acetate okay? Kirsten: Sounds great. (Julie says okay and goes back inside) Give me fifteen minutes to lose the ladies. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Marissa's bedroom. Marissa is sitting on her bed, dialing a number on the phone, while Summer is trying on clothes in just her bra and shorts. Summer: Can I try this on? Marissa: Hey, Summer, my dad's home, you know. Summer: You say that like it's a bad thing. Marissa: Oh, gross. Summer: Your dad's always home these days. What's up with that? She avoids the question when she hears the answering machine pick up on the other end of the line. Marissa: (into phone) Hey, Luke, it's me. I just...wanted to talk, so call me. Um...please? Summer: Still hasn't called you back? He was in lockup. Maybe he's into dudes now. Marissa laughs. Summer: God, he loves you. He got in a fight and burnt a house down over you. That's hot. What more do you need? Marissa: How about talking to me? Summer: Well, he'll get over it. He can't really think you're into that Chino kid. Marissa sighs and sits back. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Jimmy and Seth walking into a hallway of Jimmy's house. Jimmy: So...how's your mother? Seth: Uh, just...married. Jimmy: (knocks on door) Marissa? You've got company. The door moves open and Seth sees Summer standing there in her bra. Seth: Oh, my god. Jimmy: Sorry. (Walks away) Seth: (grinning widely) Uh...Hi, Summer. Um, um...I'm Seth Cohen. I live...I live right next door. Marissa: (closes the door to block Summer from Seth's view) What's up? Seth: I...what? Yes, what is up. Uh...I'm going to visit Ryan. I thought, you know, maybe you'd like to come. I'm sure he'd love to see you. Marissa: (speaking loudly) Uh, what's that, Seth? Did you say you need a ride to a Star Wars convention? (She walks into the hallway with Seth and closes the door.) Seth: The Star Wars convention? I'm sorry. Her top was off. You couldn't have at least said "X-Men" for me? Marissa: Look, I can't go with you. I can't see Ryan. I mean, Luke's not talking to me as it is. Seth: So what? Ryan's in jail. I thought we were all friends, and... Marissa: It's just...it's too complicated. Seth: To visit him? Marissa: I can't, okay? Seth: Yeah. Fine. Whatever. He walks away and Marissa watches him go. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Seth and Kirsten walking through the jail. Kirsten: Let's just make this quick, okay? Seth just nods. We see Ryan walk into the visiting room and take a seat at one of the tables. Kirsten signs them in and Seth walks into the visiting room. Seth: Hey. What happened to your neck? Ryan: It's...nothing. Seth: You okay? Ryan: Great. Seth: So, I'm sorry the plan didn't work. I thought I had it figured out. Thought you were safe. Guy: Hey, what's the matter, huh? Give me a smile. We see that the guy is the same one that had attacked Ryan and that he is talking to Kirsten. Seth: So, Marissa seemed pretty weird when I tried to talk to her. What happened between you guys? Guy: You got a nice swerve on you, lady. You fine. Ryan: Hey, leave her alone. Kirsten: Ryan, it's okay. Guy: You jokin'. This your little honey? (Gets up and walks over to them) Come here, bitch. I want to get a good look at you. Kirsten: Seth, let's go. Now. Seth: Uh, guard. Guy: I only need, like, two minutes. Ryan: Leave here alone. Kirsten: Seth, now! Guy: What you going to do about it, man? Kirsten: Guards! Ryan jumps out of his chair and slams the guy into the window. Kirsten: Guard! The guy punches Ryan and he falls to the ground. Guy: I'm going to kill you, punk ass. He keeps punching Ryan until the guards pull him away. Guy: You're dead! You hear me? You dead! Another guard pulls Ryan out of the room and Kirsten worriedly watches him leave. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to a black car pulling up into the Cohen's driveway. We watch as Sandy walks down the hallway, where we hear a video game being played. Sandy: Seth...what did we say? No video games. He walks into the room and notices both Seth and Ryan are sitting on the floor, playing the game. Sandy: Oh. Cut to Kirsten and Sandy in the kitchen. Sandy: I never knew you to be an impulse shopper. Kirsten: I didn't know what else to do. Sandy: Did you tell him it was permanent? Kirsten: No, of course not. Sandy: 'Cause we can't keep jerking this kid around, pulling him out of Juvie, sending him to foster care, giving him hope, and-and taking it away. Kirsten: They were going to kill him in that place, Sandy. He couldn't stay there. But he can't stay here. We've got to find his mother. Sandy: He doesn't want to find her. Kirsten: He's a kid. He doesn't know what he wants. Ryan: (from behind them) So I guess I won't unpack. Kirsten turns away from him and Ryan looks at them somewhat sadly. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Seth walking around in the kitchen, Batman comic book in hand. Morning. He sits down at the counter as Ryan walks in. Seth: Hey. Ryan: Hey. Seth: Help yourself to a wide assortment of breakfast cereals. Ryan walks over and pours some cereal into a bowl. Seth: So, Ryan, what exactly happened that night with Marissa before Luke showed up? Ryan: She came to see me. Seth: And? Ryan: And I told her to leave. Seth: You asked her to leave? That's it? You two up there all alone and you expect me to believe that. Ryan: I thought I was taking off in the morning. It didn't seem right. Seth: Well, I mean, you're still here. She lives next door. Ryan: I don't know. I said some things. Seth: So now's your chance to take it back. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Julie walking in on Marissa straightening her hair. Julie: Hey, I'm off. They're waiting for me in the ballroom. Those ladies can't do anything unless I'm there. You should come. It'll be fun. Well, not fun, but it's for charity. Marissa: No, thanks. Julie: Marissa, honey, enough moping. It's very sweet that you're so concerned about this boy, but he's in the system now. He's being taken care of. And he's not your responsibility because he's in love with you. Marissa: He's not in love with me. Julie: Why not? He thinks he's too good for you? Marissa: Actually, he thinks I'm too good for him. Julie: Well, he's right, but that's the past, and you need to focus on the future, which means Luke. You've invested so much with Luke, honey. Your relationship has too much potential to be squandered by some silly misunderstanding. So I want you to finish your hair, put on a nice top, and please come join me at the club, hmm? Marissa: Okay. Thanks, mom. Julie: It's what I'm here for. (She smiles and leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Kirsten talking to Rosa. Kirsten: I have to make some calls so if you could finish up in the kitchen that would be terrific. (to Sandy) Where are you going? Sandy: (coming down the stairs) I got an early court date. I'm in and out of the office. Kirsten: I have to set up for Casino Night. What about Ryan? Sandy: I got two calls in to the private investigator about his mother. Kirsten: Yeah, but what am I supposed to do with him? Sandy: Take him with you. Spend some time together. Kirsten: With all those women there? Sandy: Sure, they'll love him. (He leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to people setting up a room for the Casino Night. Kirsten: Oh, hi, Julie. Julie: Kirsten. Seth. Kirsten: Julie, this is Ryan. Julie: I'm Julie Cooper. I've heard so much about you. Ryan: Nice to meet you, too. Julie: There he is. She walks over to Luke, who just walked into the door. Luke: Hey, Mrs. Cooper. Kirsten: Thanks for coming. Luke: Yeah, you know, anything I can do to help make amends for what happened. Kirsten: Ryan, I forgot that he was coming. If you want to... Ryan: No, I'm here. How can I help? Julie: Well, now that we have our big strong, strapping men, time for heavy lifting. Cut to Seth blowing up a balloon with helium. Miranda sees Luke and Ryan carrying over a table and walks over to Luke. Marissa: Hey, I was hoping maybe we could talk. Luke: Which one of us did you want to talk to? (He walks away) Marissa: Luke, come on. (After a moment, she too walks away.) Ryan: I'm sorry. I feel like ever since I've gotten here, I screwed everything up. Marissa: No, I'm sorry. It's my fault, too. I mean, I never should have left Luke to see you that night. And those things. And those things you said before... Ryan: I didn't... Marissa: You were right. We're from two different worlds. I'm glad you're okay. She walks away and Seth watches her. He turns to Ryan and soon after, goes back to blowing up balloons. Cut to Luke carrying chairs over to a table. As he sets them down, Ryan approaches him with a big box of cards in his arms. Ryan: Okay, what happened up at that house... Luke: I don't want to hear about it. You and I have nothing to say to each other. I don't know who you are or what you're doing here. All I know is you and me, we're done. Kirsten: Ok, boys. Uh, Ryan, why don't you come with me? New project. Ryan grabs the box and follows her away. Cut to Julie and her friend, Taryn, in a coffee shop. They've gotten their coffees and go to sit at a table. Julie: How dare they? This boy is violent. He's a menace. I mean, they may forgive and forget, but I don't. Who's to say he won't do it again? We see that Sandy is also in the coffee shop, sitting at a table. Taryn: You're right. You are right. Julie: All I know is that the police are taking criminals off the street and Sandy Cohen is putting them in my backyard. Sandy looks up at the mention of his name. Taryn: How does she put up with it? Julie: Who, Kirsten? She's never home. She's always working, building her empire, whatever. Taryn: I feel sorry for her. Dr. Phil did a show on mothers who avoid their home lives by becoming workaholics. It's so sad. Sandy gets up and walks over to their table. Julie: I just hope she has a vault. And she keeps her jewels locked up. She has some very expensive brooches. Sandy: Hey, ladies. Care if I join you? Ooh. (He takes a piece of Julie's muffin and eats it.) Mind? So, I couldn't help but overhear. Julie: I...well, I hope you're not... Sandy: Mad? Offended? No. I am disappointed. And frankly, I'm a little surprised. This is supposed to be a community that welcomes outsiders. I mean, me--I'm all the way from the Bronx, and you're from, what, Riverside, right? Which is not that different really, from where Ryan's from. (Cell phone rings) Excuse me a minute. (He answers it) Hello. Yeah. Dawn, that's her. Uh huh. (He starts writing something on a napkin.) Good job. Okay, bye. (Hangs up the phone) Thanks for the muffin. He leaves and Julie looks anything but happy. Julie: Can I have a napkin...Now? [SCENE_BREAK] Cut back to Kirsten, who's now talking on the phone. Kirsten: What am I supposed to do with 120,000 pounds of concrete? Get a new mixer. Just call me when you know. (Hangs up) Ryan: What do you do exactly? Real estate or construction? Seth: Dude, don't ask. Kirsten: I tried to explain it to Seth once and he fell asleep half way through. Seth: Okay, but, uh...yeah, that's pretty much true. Ryan: Try me. Seth groans and walks away. Kirsten: My dad is in real estate development. He owns the Newport Group. Ryan: Wow, you guys built the mall, the Pacific Auditorium, baseball stadium, stuff like that. Kirsten: Mm-hmm. And I'm in charge of residential development. Ryan: So, you deal with the contractors, the architects, planning and zoning commission. Kirsten: How did you know? Ryan: I worked construction a couple summers. And I used to want to be an architect. Kirsten: What do you want to be now? Ryan: 17. Kirsten: (laughs) Me too. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Jimmy lying down on the sofa, watching T.V. Julie walks in. Jimmy: Hey, I thought you were setting up at the um... She grabs the remote and turns the T.V. off. Kirsten: You will not believe what Sandy Cohen said to me. He basically called me white trash. He said I was from Riverside. Jimmy: Honey, you are from Riverside. Julie: It was his tone. Compared me to that boy who started the fire. And to bring him to our function--Kirsten is out of control. What, she thinks the rules don't apply to her? Now, I know you were young, but how you ever dated that woman, I will never understand. I have half a mind to call her and tell her... Jimmy: Leave Kirsten alone. She's the one paying our bills. Julie: What are you talking about? Jimmy: You know that...problem I was having at work? Well...she solved it. Julie: You went to Kirsten for a handout? Jimmy, how do you think this makes us look? Jimmy: I really wouldn't call it a handout. Julie: Oh, really? What would you call it? Jimmy: (sighs) A hundred thousand dollars. He walks away and she stares at him, shocked [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to a laundromat. A woman is having trouble with a machine, so she walks over to a blonde lady. Woman: That machine ate my change. Dawn: Okay, okay. That one's always broken. Here you go. Try the [NEXT_ON] Dawn walks over to another machine as Sandy walks into the laundromat. Sandy: Dawn Atwood? Sandy Cohen, Ryan's attorney. I'd love to talk to you. Dawn: Can't talk. Stupid thing's stuck. Sandy: It'll only take a couple of minutes. Dawn: Damnit! She dropped the box of quarters she had and goes to the ground to pick them up. Dawn: How is he? Sandy: Why don't we grab a cup of coffee and talk about it. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to the car driving up the driveway. Kirsten, Seth, and Ryan walk into the house. Kirsten: There are some great historical homes in the area and we can always go on an architectural tour. Seth: Yeah, those things are awesome. Ryan: Yeah, I'd like that. They start walking when Ryan notices Sandy and Dawn talking in the living room. She stands up. Dawn: Hey, Ry. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to everyone sitting at the dinner table. Rosa goes around serving the food. Kirsten: Thank you, Rosa. Dawn: Um...thanks. Sandy: No, thank you, Rosa. Everyone is quiet. Sandy: So, Dawn, how long you been working at the laundromat? Dawn: Uh, not long. Just a couple of weeks. Ryan: What happened to the restaurant? Dawn: Um...they were making cutbacks. Ryan: You got fired. Dawn: Well, it was for the best. They had rats, cockroaches. Disgusting. Seth goes to take a bite of food, but puts it back down. Ryan: You seen Trey? Dawn: Uh, went to visit him at the prison. He wouldn't see me. Kirsten: Where are you living these days? Dawn: With friends. I'm between places right now. Kirsten: Why don't you stay here tonight? Ryan: What about A.J.? Dawn: No. I broke up with him. We're through. No more. I put up with too much. He laid his hands on me and Ryan too many times. Ryan: Mom? Dawn: What? I'm just saying...he was a bad influence, you know...with his drinking and... Ryan: 'Cause A.J. was the problem? Dawn: Hey, I haven't touched a drop since I dumped his sorry ass last week. The scum he used to bring into the house, and his whole coke thing. Ryan angrily gets up from the table and starts to leave. Dawn: Where are you going? Ryan: It was bad enough living through it the first time. Dawn: Ryan, wait, sweetie. I...sorry. She gets up also and goes after him. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Ryan and Dawn in the living room area. Dawn: Will you at least talk to me? Ryan: What are you even doing here? Dawn: I came...for you. Ryan: Why? What do you want from me? You left a note. A note. Dawn: Okay, let me explain... Ryan: You abandoned me. You threw me out. You just took off. Dawn: I know, honey. I was...and A.J., and...the drinking, and...It's going to be different now. Ryan: That's what you said when we moved from Fresno after dad got arrested. Dawn: I'm going to be different now. We have a chance to start over, babe. I mean, we've never had people like them, you know, who wanted to help us. Ryan: Right. So, someone offers you a nice place to stay, and suddenly, you're all about the mom thing? (He walks over to the window sadly) Dawn: I didn't know what I was doing when I married your dad. I was to young when I had your brother. But with you... You were always the smart one. You know? The good one. When you got arrested...I knew I'd failed, and...you were my last hope. I should go. Ryan: Wait. She walks towards him, but he steps away. Dawn: You ever going to forgive me, Kiddo? Ryan: Let's just go slow, okay? Dawn: (She smiles.) Okay. Whatever you want. I'm not going to lose you again. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to outside where Kirsten is sitting at a table and Seth is cleaning out the pool. Day. Seth: So, where'd they go, anyways? Kirsten: I don't know. Out. Seth: All right. So, we'll just wait for Happy Hour to end, and... Kirsten: Seth, we need to be supportive. She seems like she's trying. Seth: Yeah, but how do you know? I mean, this woman abandoned him, and now all she has to do is show up? Mom, she should be the one that's on probation, not Ryan. Kirsten: What do you want me to do? Invite her to stay so we can keep an eye on her? Seth: Yes, that is exactly what I want you to do. We hear laughing and Ryan and Dawn show up behind them. Dawn: (sighs) What a beautiful walk. The water's so warm. Not that Ryan would know. You used to love going in the water. Ryan: Not with all my clothes on. Dawn: Ah. I'm an embarrassment to my son. Kirsten: Welcome to my world. Dawn: Well...we should probably head out soon. Kirsten: Actually, I was thinking. Uh...you just got here, you have nowhere to stay, and we're all just getting to know each other. Seth: We're having a party tonight. Kirsten: Right. Dawn: Not for me. Thanks, though. Kirsten: Vegas Night. Dawn: Vegas, huh? Well, it's very kind of you to offer, but no. I don't have anything to wear. Kirsten: (getting up) Oh, we'll find something. She walks off and Dawn looks to Ryan, who just shrugs. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Ryan doing the dishes. Sandy walks in. Sandy: Hey! Kirsten does the same thing--washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I never know whether they're clean or dirty. Ryan: We never had a dishwasher. Sandy: So, how's everything going? Ryan: Okay, I guess. We had a good day. Sandy: You know, you being with your mother doesn't mean we're not going to still see each other. Ryan: She really likes it here. She talked about finding someplace nearby...in the numbered streets. Kirsten and Dawn walk up, Dawn wearing a black dress. Dawn: So...how do I look? Ryan smiles at her and she smiles back. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Vegas Night. Sandy signs them in and he walks over to Kirsten, escorting her inside. Dawn and Ryan follow. Dawn: All their parties like this? Ryan: Pretty much. Dawn: Well... Let's clean 'em out, kid. Julie: Kirsten! Another perfect event. Sandy: (to Jimmy) So, business is good? Jimmy: Yeah, it's good. It's good. Kirsten: (to Julie) I love your dress. Julie: You do? It's yours. Kirsten: Um...hi. Jimmy hugs her. Sandy: Would you like a drink? Kirsten: I'd love one. Sandy and Kirsten walk away and Taryn walks over to them. Taryn: It's all fabulous, just fabulous! Kirsten: Oh, thank you. Julie: (to Jimmy) How much did you get for the hug? [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Ryan and Dawn at a blackjack table. She puts down two stacks of chips. Ryan: Betting kind of big, mom? Dawn: Well, it's for charity. Besides, the count's way positive. Ryan: You're counting? It's not a single deck. Dawn: Oh honey, if I teach you anything in this world...the count goes way higher with multiple decks. Dealer: Blackjack Dawn: Whoo! See, honey? My luck's turning around already. She wins again. Dawn: Yes! (Laughing) That's beautiful. I told you we could do it. I told you, too. Kirsten notices them laughing together and she smiles. Dawn: (stops waitress) Excuse me. Uh...Tonic water and lime, please. She grabs the chips and hands them to Ryan. Dawn: My boy. Lucky for him, he's got my brains. Marissa and Ryan look at each other, and Dawn notices this. Dawn: Go! Have fun...with your friend. I'll be fine. You don't have to baby-sit me. He pats her lightly on the shoulder and leaves. We pan down to her hand to see it shaking. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Ryan walking over to Marissa. Ryan: Hey Marissa: Hi. So, is that your mom? Ryan: Yeah. Marissa: She came back, so I guess that means you're going home. Ryan: Yeah, I guess. Marissa: Well, good luck with everything. Ryan: You too. Have a nice life. They look over to see Luke staring at them angrily. Ryan: You should go. She leaves. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Seth walking. A pair of red dice falls to the ground and he bends down to pick them up. When he looks back up, Summer is standing there, looking at him. Seth: Hi, Summer. Seth Cohen. Summer: I'm superstitious. Blow on these. Seth: What? Summer: (holds out dice in her hand) Blow. He blows on them and she throws them onto the table. She wins. Summer: My god! (Grabs dice) Do it again. He blows on them and she wins again. Summer: (screams and pulls him towards the table) You're not going anywhere, Sid. Seth: Seth. Summer: Whatever. Seth: (happily) Okay. Summer: (holds out dice) Blow. He blows on them again and she throws them. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Luke playing a slot machine. Marissa walks up. Marissa: You can't just not talk to me. Luke: Watch me. He walks away and she walks after him. Marissa: It's not like you're totally innocent in all this. I mean, you didn't have to attack him. Luke: What was I supposed to do? You left me to go up there for him. Marissa: It's not like that. It was a mistake. Luke: Hell, yeah. He walks away. Ryan looks at Marissa and she turns away. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Julie walking up to Sandy. Julie: Hi, Sandy. Sandy: Hey, Julie. Julie: I came to apologize and say thank you. The check that you guys gave Jimmy. You never know who your friends are until you're in need. And we needed that hundred grand. Sandy: It was our pleasure. You can't take it with you. Julie giggles and walks away. Behind them, we see Luke walking. Ryan goes up to him. Luke: What do you want? Ryan: Nothing happened...with Marissa and me. Luke: Now, I don't want to talk about it. Ryan: No, listen. She chose you. You're the one she wants. Ryan walks away. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Sandy. As he's walking, he sees Kirsten and Jimmy laughing and talking together. Behind him, Dawn walks up to the bar. Dawn: Can I get a Seven and Seven, please? Nerves. Tough game of poker. Kirsten sees Dawn getting her drink. Dawn: Thank you. (Takes the drink and sips) Jimmy: Oh, you know what? How 'bout dessert? Kirsten: (talking to Jimmy) We could...yeah, we could have a little piece. Dawn: Always does the trick. She takes another sip as Kirsten watches her. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Seth and Summer at the game table. She rolls the dice and wins again. Summer: (hugs him) You rock, Stanley. Seth: (smiling) Oh...(blows on dice) [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Marissa at a slot machine. She turns to leave, but Luke stops her. Luke: Hey. Let's try again. They place their hands on the handle and pull down. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Dawn at the game table. Dawn: Oh crap. Goddamn luck, huh? Well, pony up, honey. Don't be shy. She notices her glass is empty and gets a glass of champagne from the waiter. Dawn: My new best friend. Thank you. Kirsten sees Dawn with another drink and walks up to her. Kirsten: Um, don't you think you've had enough? Dawn: Oh. You're right. (Puts the drink down) I've just got to learn to celebrate without the sauce. Kirsten: Well, no one said it was going to be easy. Sandy: (walks up to Kirsten) Could we talk? It's important. Kirsten: Of course. Excuse us. Dawn: Sure Once they're gone, Dawn picks up the glass and finishes the drink. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Jimmy sitting at a table. Julie walks up. Julie: You want to hear something so funny? Jimmy: Always. Julie: Sandy Cohen had no idea Kirsten wrote you that check. Imagine being so rich you don't tell your husband you're giving away $100,000 dollars. Jimmy: (gets up) All right, you know what? Julie: Who needs chips? You've got Kirsten. Jimmy: What'd you say to him? Julie: You don't even care how this makes me feel--that you went to her. Jimmy: I didn't have any choice. You didn't want to talk about it. I was trying to save us. Our family was in trouble. Julie: Looks like we're not the only ones. Cut to Sandy and Kirsten, talking. Sandy: A hundred thousand dollars? It's more than I make in a year. She walks away so that they're both outside. Kirsten: It's just a loan. Of my money. Sandy: It's not the money. It's that you never told me. Kirsten: I know. I don't know why. Sandy: I've got a couple of ideas. Let me take you on a little journey through my neuroses for the past hour or so. Kirsten: Sandy, I promise, it was just a loan. There's nothing more to it. He was in trouble. There was no one else he could tell. Sandy: So what's your excuse? Jimmy: (opens the door and walks over to them) Sandy, uh, I don't know what Julie said to you. Sandy: I'm trying to have a private conversation with my wife. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Ryan standing by the bar. Seth walks up and slams his money down. Seth: Two Mountain Dews, my good man. Thank you, Ryan. Greatest night ever. It's like one of those nights when the stars and the cosmos and the moons align, and it's just like, wow. Thank you. How's your mom doing? Ryan: High rolling. She was made for this place. Seth: Yeah? Then maybe this could work. Ryan: Yeah? Maybe. Summer: Rabbit's foot. Vamos nos. Seth: By the end of the night, she might know my first name. Duty calls. Summer scoffs and walks away, Seth walking after her. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut back to outside. Jimmy: Look, I'm sorry. We hear Dawn laughing from inside and se wobbles a bit, steadying herself with the table. Dawn: Hold up. Oh! She trips and lands on the waiter, both falling to the ground. Waiter: What the hell is your problem? Dawn: What's my problem? What's your problem? Just back off. Uh, Ryan, I must've tripped. It's these damn shoes. Oops. Hello. She starts giggling as everyone stares at her. Seth: (to Summer) Here. Good luck. (He walks away to help.) Guy: Dude, that lady is wasted. Second Guy: I bet you could bang her. Marissa: Hey, shut up. Dawn: Why don't you just quit staring and help me up, okay? Get me up! Help me up! Luke goes over to help. Dawn: Finally! Sandy: (to Seth) Why don't you go get the car? (to Dawn) What, maybe you had one too many? Dawn: Well, I... She notices everyone staring at her. Dawn: What are you looking at? Where's Ryan? Ryan: Hey. Dawn: Ryan?	Plan: A: Sandy; Q: Who comes to Ryan's rescue once again? A: Dawn; Q: Who believes Ryan is better off with the Cohens? A: an elite Casino Night; Q: What does Kirsten invite Dawn to? A: the sauce; Q: What does Dawn get lost in at the Casino Night? Summary: Sandy comes to Ryan's rescue once again. Kirsten decides to invite Dawn to an elite Casino Night, but she gets lost in the sauce, disappointing Ryan. Dawn believes Ryan is better off with the Cohens, leaving him with Sandy and Kirsten.
Act 1 Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment Daphne opens the door, Niles is there. Daphne: Dr. Crane. Niles: Hello, Daphne. [He enters.] Is Dad around? I have that videotape he wanted to see. Daphne: Actually, he's gone off with Donny. They went to a tractor pull. Niles: Ohhh... [He looks questioningly at her.] Daphne: As I understand it, they attach a large weight to a tractor and see how far they can pull it through the mud. Niles: Ohhh... [His brow furrows.] Daphne: The answer to your next question is "Beats the hell out of me." Frasier enters. He is unshaven. Frasier: Oh, hello, Daphne, Niles. Niles: Hello, Frasier. Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane. I see you've grown yourself a crumb-catcher. Frasier: Oh, please. Spare me your jocular euphemisms. I've heard them all from Freddie: my chin-sweater, my face-fuzz, my hickey-hider. Niles: [laughing] Well, I think it suits you. Frasier: Well, thank you, Niles. I just wanted to shake things up a bit, you know. Niles: How was Boston? Frasier: Oh, it was fine. It was great seeing Freddie again. Of course, Lilith was insufferable. She's got a new boyfriend, some twenty-eight year old named Marcel, he's a contortionist with the Cirque de Soleil. Niles: She's dating French circus folk? Frasier: Yes. Well, he's actually perfect for Lilith: he has no apparent spine and she can wrap him around her finger. Of course, Lilith's smug satisfaction was a little hard to bear, though. Especially considering how long it's been since the circus came to my town. Martin and Donny enter. Donny: I know! I couldn't believe the weight of that thing! [spotting Frasier] Well, it's Grizzly Crane! Martin: Well, nice soup-strainer there, Fras. Frasier: Thank you. Donny: Oh, we just saw a hell of a tractor pull. Even you would have liked it. Martin: So, how's my grandson? Frasier: Oh, he's great, Dad. Actually, he loved the baseball mitt you sent him. Donny: [taking off the ball cap he's wearing] Where's Daphne? I got this little gift for her. Niles: Oh, a John Deere cap. How... could you? The doorbell rings, Frasier goes to get it. Donny: Oh no, I'm just giving it to her to see her pretend to like it. Then I'm gonna give her a bracelet. He goes off to Daphne's room. Frasier answers the door to reveal Roz. Roz: Hey, Frasier. Frasier: Oh, hi Roz. Roz: Hmmm, cool beard! Frasier: Oh, thanks! Roz: Hey, Niles. Niles: Hey, Roz. Roz: [handing Frasier an envelope] OK, here's the directions, hotel confirmation and schedule. Frasier: Excuse me? Roz: Broadcast conference. Frasier: Good lord! I thought that was next week. Roz: No, it's tonight! I'm going up there right now. Frasier: Oh no, Roz. I just got back from Boston, for God's sake. You know, maybe I could just drive up tomorrow and attend the panels. Roz: No Frasier, tonight's reception's the most important part! It sets the tone for the whole weekend. Frasier: Oh, come on! Last year everybody just got drunk and acted like a bunch of horny teenagers. Roz: Exactly! So stop yakkin' and start packin'! Niles: Well, you know, it could be just the relief you need after a long week with Lilith and Le Pretzel Boy. Roz looks disturbed as she sits in Martin's chair. Frasier: You know, come to think of it, there was one really gorgeous blonde up there: Rush Hour Rita, Larame's Eye in the Sky. Roz: Yeah, I remember her. The traffic was bumper to bumper outside her ROOM. Frasier: Meow, Roz. Roz: Oh, it's just that I am so sick of men becoming panting idiots just at the sight of blonde hair. Niles: That is a bit of an oversimplification, Roz. Frasier: [At the same time as Niles, then continuing alone] Don't be ridiculous. It's insulting, Roz! For God's sake, I mean, every man's taste is different. Martin comes in from kitchen. Roz: Sorry, it's just that I met this guy at Nervosa today for coffee and it was very annoying. Every time I tried to say anything, this blonde waitress would walk by... Martin: Oh, Mimi's back? Frasier: Oh, that's good news. Niles: Gotta stop in and see Mimi. Roz flounces back in the chair, disgusted. Frasier: You know, I guess I better get packing! Martin: What're you talking about? You got your bags right there. Frasier: No, Dad, these are my "Daddy" clothes. I have to go and pack my "Come to Daddy" clothes. Donny and Daphne come from her room. Daphne is wearing the cap, Donny is on the phone. Donny: Oh, will you give me a break? All right, all right! [Disconnects.] My surveillance guy just cancelled for tonight, just when I need him for this big money divorce case. Daphne: Is this the Stanley Redmond thing? Donny: Yeah, the dumpster rental king. This guy controls half the dumpsters in the Northwest, his wife thinks he's been taking out the wrong kind of trash. You know, if I can prove it, this case is mine. Niles: That is so depressing. You expect this sort of behavior from a mattress king, but we ask more of our dumpster royalty. Donny: Yeah, but you should see this girlfriend: leggy, blonde... Niles: [to Roz] Oh, well, blonde! That explains it! Roz: [getting up in a huff] Goodbye. Niles: I'm sorry. [She leaves.] Donny: Hey, wait a minute. Marty? You were a cop, right? You must've done surveillance. Martin: Oh sure, all the time. Donny: Well, why don't you work for me tonight? It's forty-five bucks an hour. Niles: Oh, I don't think Dad would want to do that. Martin: Forty-five bucks? Donny: All right, fifty. But if you get a picture of Redmond and the girl, then it's a five hundred dollar bonus. Martin: Five hundred dollars? Donny: All right, seven hundred, you're killing me. Niles: Dad, I don't think this is a good idea. Where exactly is this stakeout? Donny: It's at the Alcazar apartments. You know, in Belltown. Niles: Belltown is sort of a sketchy neighborhood, wouldn't you say? Martin: Oh Niles, to you a sketchy neighborhood is when the cheese shop doesn't have valet parking. I'm an ex-cop, remember? Niles: Yeah, yeah, I know you're an ex-cop. Let's just examine this, Dad... Martin: No, no, no. Let's just forget about it. I'm not gonna listen to this all night. I just won't do it, are you satisfied? Niles: [getting up to leave] Yes. Thank you. Donny, I'm sorry to put a crimp in your plans. Donny: No, that's all right. I'm sure I'll find somebody else. [as the door closes on Niles, he turns to Martin] You're still doing it, right? Martin: Hell, yes! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene 2 - Roz's Hotel Room. Roz is on the phone, wearing a very revealing dress. Roz: Thanks for watching Alice, Laurie. I really owe you one... Well, I just want to get down to this cocktail party before all the good men are taken... What? I just want to have a little fun tonight... No! I do not mean that... All right, I do mean that. [There is a knock at the door.] Uh, Laurie, I'll talk to you later. Thank you again, bye-bye. She hangs up and opens the door. It is Frasier. Roz: Oh, hey Frasier. Frasier: Hi Roz. My room isn't ready yet, can I put my stuff here until I can check in? Roz: Come on in. Frasier: Thanks. I tell you, the storm hasn't dampened the festivities downstairs. It's only seven o'clock and Marge Whitmeyer is already in the bar arm-wrestling people for drinks. Roz: How many did you buy her? Frasier: Well, three, but my elbow was in a wet spot. Roz: Hey, did you happen to notice if that weather guy from KSGY was down there? Frasier: Yes, I noticed that he was there. Something tells me the forecast calls for a collision between two warm fronts. Roz grins at him and arches her eyebrows. The phone rings and Roz gets it. Roz: Hello? Oh, yeah, he's here. [hands the phone to Frasier] It's the front desk. Frasier: Hello? Yes? Well then, you'll just have to get me a room elsewhere! I see. Thank you very much. [he hangs up] They don't have a room for me. Roz: [looking nervous] What're you gonna do? Frasier: Well, guess I could stay on the couch. Roz: What!? Frasier: Oh, come on Roz! I got no choice! The whole island is booked. Roz: Well, this is sure gonna cramp my style. I mean, it's not like college when everybody just... never mind. Frasier: You know Roz, we're two attractive people. We're at a conference that turns into a bacchanal every year, odds are neither of us will need this room tonight. Roz: You're right. What's the problem? Frasier: I believe there's a cocktail party awaiting us? Roz: Let's go down together. [taking his arm] We'll be like jackals, they hunt in pairs. Frasier: I like your self-assurance. There's no greater aphrodisiac than confidence. Roz: Shall we? Frasier: Let the games begin! They exit. Moments later, they come back in. Roz: I just need a little more lipstick. Frasier: I'm sweatin' right through this shirt. [SCENE_BREAK] End of Act 1 [SCENE_BREAK] Act 2 FORGET IT MARTY, IT'S BELLTOWN Scene 1 - A Surveillance Van. Marty is sitting in the passenger's seat, watching a building with binoculars. Niles comes to the driver's side. Seeing Martin, he glares and bangs on the door. Martin: [opening the door] Niles... Niles: You specifically promised me... Martin: Would you shut up and get in here? Niles climbs in. Martin: How did you know I was here? Niles: The doorman! Martin: Bigmouth. Niles: Well, I guess he didn't realize he was being sworn to secrecy when you said "Hey Sid, I'm goin' on a stakeout." I can't believe you lied to me. Martin: Well, I'm sorry, but you were makin' such a big fuss about nothing. Niles: It is not nothing! Look at this neighborhood. [looking in the side-view mirror] I'm not even happy parking my Mercedes here. Martin: It's not that bad. Niles: Oh, really? Well then could you explain to me the ominous group of men standing back there in the shadows by my car? [Martin looks out the back.] They're all wearing the same sort of dark coat, it's some sort of gang. Martin: Niles, they're Hasidic Jews. Niles: That's right, keep walking, keep walking... Martin: So, what, you came down here to bawl me out? Niles: Yes... partly. Also to give you this. He hands over a thermos. Martin: What's this? Niles: Clam chowder. Martin: [happy] Oh-ho! Niles: I remember Mom used to make it for you when you went ice fishing, and I hated the thought of you sitting out here cold and hungry. Martin: Well thank you, I appreciate it. But, look, why don't you just go back home, now. I'll be fine. Niles: No, I'll just stay awhile, you could use the company. Martin: Oh, come on, Niles, why don't you tell me what's really on your mind? Niles: All right, Dad, I was worried about you. Martin: I knew it. Because I'm an old man and I can't take care of myself! Niles: No. Age has nothing to do with it. I've always worried about you, that's what it's like when your father's a cop. I worried about you when I was five years old. And I didn't stop worrying until the day you retired. And today just brought it all back again. Martin: Look, I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I know what you mean. My dad was a cop, too. Niles: I know. Martin: But, you know, Niles, I'm not chasin' after bad guys. I'm just gonna take a picture. Niles: That's true. I'm probably overreacting like usual. Uh, well I guess I'll head home. Martin: No, no, hey wait a little bit. Stick around. How'd you like a little clam chowder? Niles: I'd love some! Martin: [opening thermos] OK! [he sniffs] This is clam chowder! Niles: Well, what'd you expect? Martin: Irish whiskey! Your mother always filled it with coffee and Irish whiskey! We just called it clam chowder in front of you kids. Niles: [with a thoughtful look] Is that why you got so mad that day I crumbled oyster crackers in your thermos? Martin makes a face and closes the thermos. FADE OUT. Scene 2 - Roz's Hotel Room Roz is in her nightgown and robe, putting her hair up. Frasier comes in. Roz: What happened to you? Frasier: Same thing that happened to you... I got a hug goodnight. Roz: Where did we go wrong? Rush Hour Rita was draping herself all over you, and that news guy actually said to me if I gave him twenty-two minutes he'd give me the world. Frasier: Well, I don't know, Roz. After he gave you the brush-off, he came over and sat down next to me and Rita. Before I knew it, they had discovered their mutual fondness for tango music. Roz: I lose out to tango music? What a night! A total bust! Frasier: Oh, come on, Roz. You know, for my money, you were the most attractive woman down there. Roz: Thanks, Frasier. And I'm not just saying this to return the favor, but you look really hot in that beard. Frasier: Oh, well, thanks. You know, maybe we're better off, just a couple of old friends having a cozy evening together. Roz: Yeah, right. [There is a knock at the door.] It's him! Frasier: It's her! They rush to the door. Both: Come in, hello. [They open it to find a waiter.] Waiter: Sorry to disturb you, but the manager wanted to apologize for the mix-up with the room. [He puts down a champagne bucket.] This is on us. Roz: That's nice. Frasier: Well, you in the mood for a glass of champers, Roz? Roz: I don't know, what do you think? Waiter: It won't fit in the mini-bar. Frasier: Well, it's settled then. I can open it myself, thanks. [Tips him.] Here you are. Waiter: Thank you. [He leaves.] Frasier: Well, ah. Demi-sec, respectable label, not a bad year. We may just be having a better time than anybody else here. From the room above comes the sound of tango music and dancing. They both glower at the ceiling. FADE OUT. Scene 3 - The Van Martin is watching the apartment house, Niles has a set of headphones on, hooked to a parabolic dish mike. Niles: [loudly] Dad, this thing is amazing! I can actually hear some guy brushing his teeth! Swish, swish, spit. Swish, swish... flossing! Martin: Niles! Niles: You have got to try this, it's incredible! Here, put those on... [Hands Martin the headphones.] Martin: [unenthused] All right. Niles: [giving him the mike] All right, now point that anywhere you want. Martin takes the mike, but as he's moving it towards the window it is pointed to the front of the van and Niles accidentally leans on the horn. Martin: Aaaarrrrghh! [He rips the headphones off.] Niles, will you quit kidding around? This isn't a game, it's a job! I just want to spot the guy, get a picture and get out of here. So why don't we just sit here and be quiet for a while. Niles: You know, Dad, are you sure you want to be doing this? Martin: I thought you said you weren't worried about me. Niles: No, no, I'm not worried about your safety, I just mean are you doing the right thing? Meddling in this guy's marriage. You know, speaking as a psychiatrist... Martin: Oh boy, open up a window. Niles: I just see this sort of thing in my practice all the time. People make mistakes, and-and have affairs, and find some way to fix it. It's possible that by taking this picture, you're destroying any chance this man has. Martin: Niles, the guy's a bum! He's probably always been a bum. Now, if you want to get into a debate about something, maybe you can tell me what those grass clippings were doing in the clam chowder. Niles: That was lemon grass, and Chef Andre has gotten high kudos for that soup. Martin: Well, if kudos are those brown chewy things, he can have 'em. I put mine in the ashtray. He goes back to staring through the binoculars. Niles: You pretend to be such a cynic. I think you agree with me. You have too much of a conscience not to. Martin: Oh, bappity, bappity, bap. Oh, there they are! [He grabs the camera.] Niles: You're still gonna take this picture? Martin: Ho-ho, you're damned right I am! Niles: Even though right now that man may be planning to break it off with his girlfriend tonight? Planning to, to rededicate himself to his marriage? The terrible guilt spurring him on to ever-greater depths of commitment, and, and, and years from now he may be sitting with his wife, by the fire, holding her hand, reflecting on all their wonderful years together, especially their SUNSET years. And you could destroy all that with one click of a camera. The camera clicks rapidly as Martin takes half a dozen shots. Martin: Sorry, Niles, what were you saying? Niles: You took a picture of that tree and you know it! Martin: All right, I did! What'd you have to talk about all that stuff for? Niles: I was just saying what you were already thinking. You did the right thing and you're not gonna to regret it. Martin: Yeah, well how am I going to tell Donny I just sat here and watched them walk by and get in the car? Niles: You'll tell him proudly because you know in your heart of hearts... There is a loud thunk behind them and a car alarm goes off. Martin: Whoa! They backed into your Mercedes! Niles: I don't believe it! They're not even leaving a note... they're driving away! Martin: Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Niles. They're probably RACKED with grief and it'll spur them on to ever-greater... Niles: Oh shut up and take their picture! Hurry up and get their license number! Hurry! Hurry! Martin grabs the camera and snaps away. FADE OUT. LIKE TWO SHIPS SINKING IN THE NIGHT Scene 4 - Roz's Hotel Room Roz and Frasier are sitting on the couch, drinking champagne. Frasier has changed into his pajamas. Roz: Ummm, my longest relationship would have to be Ted, '88 to '90. No! Derek, '89 to '92. Frasier: Being a gentleman, Roz, I won't point out the slight overlap there. Roz: It's not an overlap, it's a transition. Frasier: Uh-huh. Roz: You know, like in April when you start wearing your spring clothes, even though you're wearing your winter stuff? Frasier: Yeah, well, if we're talking April of '90, I doubt you were wearing much of anything at all. Roz: OK, wise guy, what was your longest relationship? Frasier: Oh, that's easy, Lilith. Although... [he laughs] Roz: What? Frasier: Well, if we're not talking romantic relationship, well, then umm, my longest relationship with a woman would be you: seven years. Roz: Loser! [They laugh.] Seven years! Frasier: Gosh. Roz: My God, it has been that long. Frasier: It's worth toasting. Roz: Absolutely. [They clink glasses and take a sip.] So Frasier, what's with the beard? Frasier: You hate it. Roz: No! Actually I like it. It's like you're Frasier but not Frasier. What made you do it? Frasier: Oh, I don't know. I just wanted to change things a little, I don't know, be spontaneous. Roz: Oh, my God, I almost did something like that this weekend. Frasier: Really? Roz: Yeah, I... Oh, hell, I'll show you! [She puts down her glass and gets up, putting her hand on Frasier's leg.] Ooh, nice silk pajamas. [heading for the bathroom] I made a little purchase on my way up here. Frasier: Did you? Well, I am just dying with anticipation. What is it? Roz: You promise you won't laugh? Frasier: I promise. Roz: OK. Hold on one second. I'll be right out! She comes out of the bathroom, wearing a long, silky blonde wig. Roz: I just wanted to see for once in my life what it would be like to be a blonde. I thought I'd wear it down to the bar one night. Pretty pathetic, huh? Frasier: On the contrary, Roz. It's, it's quite becoming. It's like you're Roz but not Roz. Roz: [in a sultry voice] Hello stranger. You here for the conference? Frasier: Yes, I am. Roz: Is this seat taken? Frasier: It's been waiting for you all its life. [She sits next to him.] Champagne? Roz: Well, I'm not sure I should. I already had one glass, and it went straight to my head. I feel like maybe I should lie down. Frasier: You could use my room... Roz: Are you sure you're a gentleman? Frasier: Well, I do prefer blondes... [They break up in laughter.] Roz: God, how many times have I had that conversation? Frasier: What would life be without the occasional surrender to impulse? Roz: It's true, it does makes you feel alive. Frasier: Doing things you know you shouldn't do. Roz: With people you shouldn't be with. Frasier: Right. [They look at each other.] Roz: Right. Frasier: [putting down his glass] You know, suddenly, this couch seems a little small for me. Roz: Well the bed seems pretty big. Frasier: It's a big bed. Roz: It is. Frasier takes her champagne glass and puts it down. They look into each other's eyes. Frasier: Roz... He leans towards her. She leans in and tilts her head... There is a loud knock at the door. Frasier: For God's sake! He gets up and rushes to put on his robe, as she adjusts hers. Frasier: You all right? Answering the door, he finds Kenny, the station manager. Frasier: Kenny! Kenny: I got stuck in the storm! Now they don't have a room for me. I hear we're in the same boat, huh Doc? Oh, hiya Roz. Roz: Hey. Kenny: Hey, cool wig! Roz: Thanks. Kenny: Hey, wait a minute, I'm not interrupting anything, am I? Pyjamas, champagne, a fire... [He winks broadly. They all laugh.] So, anyhow, can I bunk here? Roz: Why not? Frasier: No reason. Kenny: Great, great. I really like that blonde hair, Roz. You better be careful though: get the doc here all hot and bothered. Ha ha. [Frasier and Roz laugh nervously.] Well, just gonna get out of these wet clothes. I had a heck of a time gettin' here. All these road look the same. [Frasier and Roz come together, looking into each other's eyes again.] I ended up taking a wrong turn... The last thing you want to do out here in these woods is take a wrong turn. Frasier: [as Roz turns away] Quite right, Kenny. Roz sits down. Frasier: You know, I, I'm not sure the beard's really workin'. I probably should shave it off. Roz: I wasn't gonna say anything, but yeah. She takes off the wig. Kenny comes out of the bathroom wearing pajamas and a nasal bandage. Kenny: I don't wear one of these snore strips, I'm a buzz saw going through steel pipe. So, ah, "Rock, Paper, Scissors" for the sofa? Roz: I'll take it. Kenny: OK. Looks like it's you and me in the bed, Doc. Frasier: OK. Roz turns off the lights. Kenny: [climbing into bed] But I warn you, I'm a roller. What was I thinking, drinking all that coffee on the way up here? I'm gonna be up all night, I am WIRED. [He rolls over, taking all the covers with him.] Frasier: Uh, Kenny, do you think you could, uh... [Loud snores from Kenny's side.] Roz: [over the back of the couch as she settles down] Goodnight, Frasier. Frasier: Goodnight, Roz. He turns out the last light. [SCENE_BREAK] Kenny's nasal strip has fallen off. Frasier looks for it, finally finding it (hideously) on his own arm. He puts it back on Kenny, even pinching his nose shut. Finally, he rolls over resignedly, and Kenny throws his arm over Frasier.	Plan: A: Donny; Q: Who asks Martin for help in obtaining surveillance photos for one of his court cases? A: a stakeout; Q: What does Martin want to do to help Donny? A: the police force; Q: What job did Martin once work for? A: Niles; Q: Who is worried about the risks of the neighborhood? A: a broadcast conference; Q: What are Frasier and Roz attending? A: Roz's couch; Q: Where does Frasier sleep when he has no room at the hotel? A: the room; Q: What does Roz concede that neither of them is likely to need if the cocktail party is the usual Bacchanalian revel? A: Roz's room; Q: Where do Frasier and Roz end up after they both fail to get a room at the hotel? Summary: Donny asks for Martin's help in obtaining surveillance photos for one of his court cases. Martin is thrilled at the idea of a stakeout , remembering his days with the police force; Niles is worried about the potential risks of the neighborhood, and decides to go along and keep his father company. Frasier and Roz are attending a broadcast conference out of town, and when Frasier discovers that he has no room at the hotel, he asks to sleep on Roz's couch. She reluctantly agrees, conceding that neither of them is likely to need the room if the cocktail party is the usual Bacchanalian revel. Unfortunately, they both suffer similar lack of success, and end up together in Roz's room sharing champagne and stories.
Dwight: Today is the test launch day for the inaugural Sabre store. Brr brr brr BRR [imitating trumpet] and I, Dwight Schrute, am in charge of the entire operation. If I can prove myself today and the store is a hit with the media and Nellie sees this, the vice presidency is mine. Ryan: Are you holding this chair? Dwight: Yes. Ryan: 'cause I feel like I'm gonna fall off. Dwight: Yes. Yes. Ryan: I'm not wearing the right shoes for this. Dwight: We went over this, ok? Your tiny fingers make the best knots. Erin: Hey Strangers. So stoked for the Sabre store opening. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Hey, my name's Tabitha. I'm camped out in front of the Sabre store so I can be first in line for the new Pyramid. Psst. It's me Erin. Dwight had me pretend to be a hipster to create hype, and it's working. There's already people camped out behind me. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: Test launch day, people. Now, I would like to fill you in on a little secret about me to inspire you today. Now, I know you probably all think I'm this patrician goddess. But here's the truth. I was born in the little working class town of Basildon, and until the age of 32, [cockney accent] I talked like this, which was bloody horrendous, innit? I came from dirt, no lower than ... what's lower than dirt? Dwight: Loam, magma, mantle, outer core, inner core. Nellie: Yeah, thank you. Loam. Bloody loam, I came from. I hit rock bottom when I auditioned for the Spice Girls. I didn't even get a callback. Jim: Which Spice Girl? Nellie: The black one. I never stood a chance. Jim: Okay. Nellie: Now, think about my journey here today, and let it inspire your journey. Dwight: Okay. Nellie, thank you. Thank you so much. Todd Packer: Yep Dwight: Today is press day and press is gonna make or break this store. And for a tech company, press can only mean one thing - bloggers. Dossier on bloggers. Bloggers are gross. Bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You're gonna love 'em. Ryan is going to be the main event today. He is the pitchman who is going to give the feisty yet profound speech worthy of a world's fair. Ryan, you ready to do this? Ryan: When people see this presentation, they're gonna [bleep] in their pants. Dwight: Okay. Jim: Come on, man. Cathy: Seriously disgusting. Dwight: Cathy, you will be the hot girl who talks to bloggers. Cathy: Ugh. Kill me. That was my idea. Dwight: Packer, you will be the sexual predator who has come to prey on the trendy teenage girls who are obsessed with the Pyramid. [SCENE_BREAK] Todd Packer: Uh... Nellie: Uh... that is excellent. Todd Packer: I don't see what that gets us, but I'm a team player. Dwight: Perfect casting, right? [SCENE_BREAK] Todd Packer: Schrute's out to get me. But I'm playing the long game. As soon as he messes up, I swoop in like a sexual predator. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: I want to create a sense of wonder and enthusiasm as if, at the end of E.T., candy poured out of the screen. Do you understand? I wanna get goose pimples. Dwight: Speaking of pimples, let's release the BLOGGERS! [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Morning, everyone. Kevin: Oh, Andy, guess what happened to me this morning? Andy: Don't care. Tell me later. Kevin: Listen, it's important. You've gotta hear this. Andy: What do you got? Kelly: Oh, my god! Phyllis: Do you have a black eye? Andy: Yes, I do. Phyllis. Kevin: I woke up at 4 am by accident in time for the paper to be delivered. Guess what? Andy: What? Kevin: It's not a kid on a bike. It's a man in a car. Darryl: Andy, who punched you? Meredith: Hey, I was on the can. What's this about a black guy in the office? Angela: Black eye, Meredith. Kelly: Will someone please explain what's going on here? Since the interesting thing happened til now, so much time has passed, it's like my life is buffering. Andy: Here's what happened. Pam and I were arriving for the day. And there was a gang in the parking lot on bikes, on, on motorcycles. And they were just hassling Pam... Pam: That's true. Andy: They had, uh... weapons. Pam: Weapons. Andy: I just stepped in to talk some sense into them. Pam: But these were not the kind of people who use their words. Andy: Punches were going, and I ducked a few, landed a couple, and I was fighting them off. It was totally, like, like, senseless crime. Pam: Thank goodness he was there. Oscar: Good job Andy. Kevin: Yeah [all murmuring] Andy: I didn't do anything any of you wouldn't have done. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Open the gates! There's plenty for everyone. No need to panic. There's plenty for everyone! Man: Quit it. Dwight: There's plenty. Don't stampede. No need to stampede, sir. Erin: I was ahead of you! Dwight: Okay, okay. Hey, hey. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. There's plenty of Pyramids. Erin: Come on. I was in line before you. [SCENE_BREAK] Cathy: So you're a blogger right? Blogger: Yeah. Blogger. Cathy: God, stay away. Oh, I always get in trouble around bloggers. I'm trying to be a good girl for once. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Uh yeah. I already bought my Pyramid, but I don't want to leave yet. I haven't had so much fun since seeing... zoo-Ey Desh-channel at the Couch-arilla music festival. So fun. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: How can we feel safe knowing that there are gangs here? We should call the police right now! Andy: No. Angela: Yes. Andy: No, no, no, no, no, we don't need to call the police. They'll just ask everybody questions, get up in everyone's business, right, Pam? Pam: Police are a hassle. We settled this on the street. Andy: And my eye will heal. But if the police come, then we will forever stain our neighborhood as a troubled area. Angela: Why would you care what the police think of our neighborhood? Andy: Because I have neighborhood Pride. 1-8-5-0-5. Pam: 1-8-5-0-5. Darryl: Guys, guys. That's so vague. You gotta do the zip plus four. 1-8-5-0-5 dash 7-4-2-7. Phyllis: Look, I don't feel safe. I think we should call the police. Angela: Yes. Andy: Exactly. We need to feel safe, which is why... Toby is giving us self defense training. Toby: Me? Andy: Right Toby? Will you teach us self defense? Toby: Yeah, um... I can't believe you remembered. I do self-defense. Um, I'll go put on my cup. Andy: Great. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: Yes! Blogger: Okay. Nellie: I wasn't really sure which one of you is Chuck. Jim: [on phone] Yeah, no, it seems to be going great. Andy got beat up by a fifth grade girl? Blogger: Look at that guy. He's got his Sabre phone on, and he's not even using it. Blogger 2: This is a perfect photo for my Daily Fail blog. Jim: Uh, I - I gotta go. Okay. Nellie: Dwight, what is a fail? That sounds bad. Dwight: Oh, no, no, no. It's good. It's really -- on the Internet, it's a really -- that's a really good, good, thing. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Are you trying to sabotage this entire event? Jim: I'm very sorry. Nellie: We gave you an Arrowhead for free for the day. How hard would it have been to do this, hmmm? "Hello. Hi sweetie. It's Jim. I'm calling you from the new Arrowhead, which is why my voice is crystal clear. And my hand will never get tired because of the ergonomic shape." Jim: I'm really sorry. Is there anything I can do, maybe pretend to be Chuck? Dwight: You could have pretended to be Chuck. I begged you to pretend to be Chuck, but you chose to be yourself, and you can no longer be Chuck! Surrender the tripack. You know what you have to do. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Point it towards the store, idiot! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [laughs] You know what I mean? One of these buttons is -- damn it. Take over. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Oh hey, Hey, hey, you guys, you must be lost. Listen. Excuse me, sir. Yeah, the fountain where you can feed the pigeons is out behind the bank. Tell your great-grandson to bring his kid by. Okay. So long. Here we go. Erin! Psst! Come on! The elderly suck the life out of the young. Get them out of here! Erin: We are closed! Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: Self-defense is not some fun boxing match, okay? This is about escaping with your life. So... strike, scream, and run. All right? Let's try it. Creed: [smacks Meredith's head] [screams] [runs out] Meredith: Ow. Toby: That may have been my fault. Meredith: What the hell, Toby? Toby: Okay, look, in a real crisis situation, you're not gonna have to time to think, okay? So just remember, I-A-A-T-G. "It's all about the groin." Andy: What if you're being attacked by a ... smallish man who happens to not have a groin? Toby: I don't think that's very common. Andy: What if you're being attacked by a 4'11" man who is penisless? Oscar: Why are you fixated on this hypothetical transgendered attacker? Andy: Why don't we start with the basics? Show us how to defend ourselves against a baby, and then like, a fifth grade girl, and then, you know, if we have time, on up to a scary man. Toby: Well, the most common scenario is a larger man attacking a smaller female. Andy: So in that scenario, what if the victim sucker-punches the attacker in the face? What can the attacker then do to better protect himself? Toby: It's interesting that you're drawn to the point of view of the attacker. You would like the turn of the table. Okay, the latest Chad Flenderman novel... [everyone groans] written from the point of view of his nemesis, Dr. Lucifer Wu. Angela: Can I please leave? I have a rape flute. Toby: All right, well, let's try one simple technique together. Okay, why doesn't everyone stand? Okay, so... you're being attacked. You've got your hands up. Simple palm strike to the chin. Up to the chin. One, two. Everyone: One, two. Andy: [softly] Take that, kid. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Cathy, I would like to introduce you to Fatty Gruesome. He is a freelancer for Wired magazine. Lady Blogger: Patty Grossman. I'm a woman. Dwight: But you still work for Wired, right? Patty: Yes. Dwight: Good! Okay. Flirt away. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Sabre. It's time to come home. Jim: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think ...it seemed like you were a little nervous. Ryan: Yeah, no [bleep], Sherlock! Can somebody please tell me something encouraging about this presentation before I go out there in front of a million people and do it? Dwight: Okay. I know, I know, champ. Calm down, just listen. Ryan: You know what? Dwight: You just need to realize that so much rides on this. You have no idea. Jim: Dwight. Dwight: I'm trying to make him feel important. Ryan: God. I wish Kelly were here. She always knew what to say. Dwight: Um... [imitating Kelly] Oh, Ryan, you're so smart. You're smarter than Mark Zuckerberg and those Google guys all combined. Hee hee hee. Ryan: You're so ignorant. You barely know what you're talking about. That is so ridiculous. You really need to read a couple books. Dwight: What's a book? [giggles] Ryan: On my God. You're so embarrassing. My mom would say the best stuff, though. Jim: [ahem] You can... [slightly effeminate] You can do it Ryan. Ryan: And you know that I'm capable of this. Jim: You're the only one who can do it, s-sweetie. Ryan: What did you think of the presentation? Jim: I thought it was great, sweetie. I would just fix that one -- Ryan: Oh! "Fix" means you hate it! I knew it! I need something to drink! Dwight: Jim, get him a water. Ryan: No, not a water. A sports drink. I hate everything in that fridge. Not red! Get me something yellow or green from a nearby store. Not red! Dwight: Why are you just standing there? Go to a nearby store and get him a yellow or green sports drink! [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: Now, if your attacker is willing to defile a corpse, you better stop playing dead right away and just make it known that you're alive. Lady: Forgive me for interrupting. I believe my daughter had an altercation with somebody here, some fancy gentleman with a squeaky voice? Andy: [deep voice] I think you guys might have the wrong Office. Girl: That's him... the guy I hit. Darryl: What? Oscar: You've gotta be kidding me. Kevin: Poor Andy! First you got beat up by a gang, and now she kicks your ass? Oscar: No, Kevin -- [sighs] Lady: What about the lady you hit with the pine cone? Girl: There. That chubby one. Pam: I just had a baby. Girl: Yesterday? Pam: Wow. Lady: Apologize. Girl: Sorry I kicked your ass in front of your "thin" girlfriend. Pam: How 'bout we wait til next year after you have your kid? Lady: You know what? Tiffy's going to college. Andy: [deep voice] Listen, I don't know what you guys are talking about, but I guess I'll just accept your apology so we can get on with our day. Lady: God bless. Friend of mine uses your paper. You do good work. Bye bye. Kevin: Bye. Kelly: So, Toby, I think we should do a different self-defense seminar -- "How to protect ourselves against tiny little girls." Toby: There's no shame in getting beaten up by a girl. My ex-wife used to demolish me. Kelly: No, there is shame in it, okay? We have to draw the line somewhere. Darryl: Oh my God, I think I see the imprint of a ring pop. Andy: Oh... [Kelly laughing] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Have you seen Erin? Stanley: I'm on break. Dwight: Oh God... Hey no! Where do you think you're going? You've gotta stay for the big presentation we've got this young wiz kid -- Ryan. He's like an even more handsome Bill Gates. Blogger: When's the presentation? Dwight: It's moments away. Just stay here! [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: [on phone] Hey Uncle Lucas, it's your nephew Ryan. Honestly, I could use a prescription for ritalin right now. Well, I know you did one for Aunt Carol. Oh, so it's different because it's your wife? Well, that doesn't make any sense to me. Nellie: How you doing? Ryan: Don't talk to me right now. I'm sorry. I- I know you're my boss, but seriously, you need to get the hell out of my face. What I don't understand is... [voice fades] Nellie: [to Dwight] Your little man is unraveling. Now go and fix it. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Sorry about kicking you out. It's just, we don't want our brand associated with death. Old Lady: It's okay. I'll go to the Costco and search for handsome men. Erin: You're not married yet? Old Lady: [laughs] Oh, I was. My husband was my best friend. He passed away. Erin: My best friend was my boss, Andy. We dated for a while, but since then, he rejected me, and we're not really friends. Old Lady: Someone rejected you? With that body and those bazongas? Forget him! Erin: Yeah! Forget him! And you should forget your husband. Old Lady: Well... [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: How long has he been in the bathroom? Jim: About ten minutes. Dwight: Jeez! What's he doing in there? [cell phone vibrates] Jim: Oops, that's my phone. Am I allowed to answer it or are you gonna freak out? Dwight: Are there any bloggers around? Jim: It's Ryan. "I'm sorry. I lied. I'm not in the bathroom. I can't do it. I need to see my mom. I'm going home." Nellie: What is the delay here? Where's Ryan? Why is he not here? Dwight: I had to send him home. As brilliant and creative as he is, he is nothing... compared to this guy! Jim: Uh... Nellie: What? Dwight: That's right. Will you just give us a second? Nellie: You are gonna bloody ruin it. You're gonna bloody ruin it because you're a no-good half-assed cock-eyed... Jim: okay. Nellie: That's.... Dwight: Jim -- Jim: I'm not doing the Presentation. Dwight: Look at me. Look at me! Look... at... this... face. This is not the face of a performer. This is the face of a scary apparition you see before you die. I'm telling you... if you don't do this, [whispers] I don't stand a chance. Please, Jim. Jim: Okay, I'll do it. Dwight: Oh, my God. O... Kay! Go get into Ryan's costume and check out his notes. Jim: A costume? Dwight: Of course there's a costume! [laughs] Oh, this is gonna be great. There's nothing like some last-minutes changes to really energize a presentation. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Did you pass out in there? What is taking so long? Jim: I've been in here for 20 seconds. Dwight: Hurry up. Let me in. I wanna watch you get dressed. Did you find the eyeliner? Jim: I'm not wearing eyeliner. Dwight: You are wearing eyeliner, Jim. [SCENE_BREAK] [Coldplay's Clocks] Jim: Time. Space. Gender. [Dwight mouthing words] There are no rules anymore. All boundaries are breaking down in the wake of the infinite future. The only thing that -- the only thing that remain -- the only thing that remains are the things that have stood the test of time -- love, values, and of course, the pyramids -- the strongest shape ever constructed, a shape that fits all other shapes inside of it. [softly] No, that's -- Dwight: It's true. Jim: This... is the future, because... This is the past. I've been through a lot of issues in my life. I've seen drug addiction -- unemployment. I've been in a relationship that tore my heart apart, without ever being able to accept that love drove the pain. [scattered applause] Dwight: Yep. Jim: When I was ten years old, my parents took me to Disney world. I cried the whole time. I was not able to comprehend the beauty that was before me. I just wanted... to go home. This is what the Pyramid will do for you. It is the bridge to the world. It has a usb port. Wireless... will be available in 2013. You can play Anything from Chuck to Cars 2. With the Pyramid, you have the connection to everything -- in time... and space. Crowd: ahhhhhh Dwight: Psst. Jim: Oh. Ryan: [image on Pyramid] Sabre... It's time... to come home. Crowd: [applause] Jim: All right. Thank you so much. Wow. Wow! And good night! [applause continues] Jim: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: Okay, this isn't over. Let's stay focused, okay? We made fun of Andy earlier for getting beat up by a little girl, but... little things can be dangerous. Kevin: Whether it's a gremlin or chucky the doll. The key is to throw it in something. Like a fireplace, or a tub of electricity. Toby: Okay. Good point... Angela: Good point? What is a tub of electricity? Toby: I don't... I don't... Oscar: With all due respect we know what we're defending against: a twelve year old female bully. Kelly: I was a twelve year old bully. Angela: Great! I think Kelly should attack Toby. Others: Yeah. Kelly: Yeah, that's not a bad idea, actually, because I have had a lot of pent up aggression. Angela: Thanks. Kelly: Good. Let's go. Toby: I don't know if this is gonna help...Uh... Angela: Let's go Kelly. Toby: We should stay to maybe some more traditional models... Kelly: You think you're so pretty! Well you're not gonna be so pretty come Prom time! Toby: Okay, this is what's called pre-violent posturing. Kelly: Take that! Not so pre-violent anymore! Toby: Okay, I'm at what's called "the decision point." Andy: Hey, hey, hey. Kelly Kelly, Kelly... come on.... Ow! God! My good eye! Pam: [laughs] Oh boy. Oh no, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at, um, something that Cece did on the playground earlier -- yesterday. This morning. Andy: You know why I got hit by girls? Because I stood up for others. Pam and for Toby. I stepped in and I didn't care that I was standing up to girls. You may wanna ask yourselves, "Where were you when the girls came?" [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Tough day. Yes. But I feel good. I put the office in their place, took a bunch of pain killers, drank a half a bottle of wine, took my pants off. I just feel good! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Okay, okay, I will be the first to admit it. We could have integrated more Chuck into the Presentation. Nellie: Dwight. You're the vice president. Dwight: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Yeah! Nellie: [squealing] Dwight: Okay! Come on! Nellie: aagh! Dwight: Hah! Yah! [kicking and punching the air] Boom!	Plan: A: the Sabre store opening; Q: Where does Dwight attempt to put on a theatrical presentation to impress Nellie? A: a shaky start; Q: What is the first impression of Dwight's speech? A: an impromptu speech; Q: What did Jim give that impressed the crowd? A: Ryan Howard; Q: Who was originally supposed to deliver the speech at the Sabre store opening? A: B. J. Novak; Q: Who played Ryan Howard? A: Jim impresses; Q: Who delivers a speech at the Sabre store opening? A: the critical crowd; Q: Who does Jim's speech impress? A: Andy; Q: Who is embarrassed after receiving a black eye? A: a little girl; Q: Who gave Andy a black eye? Summary: At the Sabre store opening, Dwight attempts to put on a theatrical presentation to impress Nellie. After a shaky start, an impromptu speech-originally supposed to be delivered by Ryan Howard ( B. J. Novak )-given by Jim impresses the critical crowd. Andy is embarrassed after receiving a black eye, courtesy of a little girl.
3x11: Six Days (Part 1) (Meredith and Derek are in bed. Derek is just staring at a sleeping Meredith, who is snoring. She wakes up.) Derek: Morning. Meredith: Were you watching me sleep? Derek: Maybe. Meredith: What are you, some kind of weirdo who watches women sleep? Derek: Maybe. (George goes to get the mayo from the fridge and Izzie's check drops to the floor) George: Izzie? Izzie: What? George: I just dropped $8.7 million dollars on the floor. Izzie: And? George: I shouldn't be able to drop $8.7 million dollars on the floor! You need to deposit that check! Izzie: George...your father's surgery is tomorrow. Any chance you're misplacing your anxiety on me and my check? George: No, there is chance. That check ruins my morning every morning. It belongs in the bank. Would you just please...as a favor to me...just put it in the bank? Please? Izzie: Hmm. No. But if you're nice to me for the next 7 minutes I will give you a ride to work. George: You don't deserve $8.7 million dollars. Izzie: Oh, so true. So true. (Seattle scenes) (Bailey and her interns are walking through the hall) Meredith: So, how's Burke doing? Christina: I don't know. George: She doesn't know. Alex: He just had surgery yesterday and you don't know how he's doing? Meredith: They're not speaking. Izzie: I thought they made up. Meredith: They did, sort of. Izzie: But she's still not speaking to him? Christina: He's not speaking to me. Meredith: They're not speaking to each other. Izzie:OK. Christina: Did you ask Derek about Burke's hand? Meredith: I don't want to get in the middle of it. Derek and I are happy. Can we just keep it that way for a while? Izzie: You know, you could always just swallow your pride and ask him yourself. Alex: Her gut's not big enough for that. (They walk into Mr. O'Malley's room where a party is going on with the O'Malley extended family) All: O'Malley! Harold: Quiet down. Louise: Morning everybody. Richard: Good morning. Who's presenting? All: Yeah George! George: Harold O'Malley 63. Status-post aortic valve replacement. Morning chest x-rays showed no atalectasis after aggressive CPT for the last two days. Scheduled for a transhiatal esophagectomy tomorrow at 9. (Everyone looks at him) That's it. (And the crowd cheers) Bailey: For the next few minutes I think it would be best if the extended family wait in the waiting room. Harold: Just a few minutes guys and then you can come back. Bailey: How are you feeling Mr. O'Malley? Louise: He's feeling great. "Better than ever" he says. Which is why we had everyone come out today. We figured that after today he maybe won't be feelingOK for a while. Harold: After the surgery, then do we start chemo and stuff? Richard: That protocol depends on what we find when we open you up Harold. Harold: What do you mean, what you find? Bailey: Um Grey. Meredith: There's only so much they can tell from labs and scans, so they really need to get a look inside to see if the cancer has spread. Louise: And if the cancer has spread, that changes how much chemo he needs? Chief: That changes a lot of things. Harold: Like what? Richard: I'll let the oncologist explain that later today Harold. Dr. Grey will be taking you through a final battery of pre-operative tests before we go. Bailey: So it would be best if the party went home. (Outside Burke's room) Cristina: Dr. Shepherd? So...Dr. Burke's hand...has he had any tremors? Derek: That's confidential. Cristina: I'm one of his doctors. Derek: You're also his girlfriend. Ask him yourself. (He goes into Burke's room) Good morning everyone who's presenting? Alex: Preston Burke. Post-op day one from an I and D of a compressive hematoma to the brachoplexus. He is afebrile and vital signs are stable over night. His incisions are clean with no signs of infection. Last morphine was given at 2 this morning. Cristina: Ask about the hand. Meredith: You ask. Cristina: It's just one question... Bailey: Dr. Yang, something you want to share with the rest of us? Cristina: No ma'am. Sorry. Derek: Look good, Preston. Take it easy on the nurses. (All leave except George) Burke: O'Malley? Your father's surgery today? George: Tomorrow. (A young girl walks out of her bathroom, she's bent over at the waist, her legs at a 90degree angle to her upper body.) Mrs. Douglas: YouOK, honey? Heather: Yeah, can you just help me? Meredith: Scoliosis? Cristina: Looks like a birth defect. Alex: Looks like hell. Heather: What are you all staring at? Really, if you expect me to be the brave and heartwarming differently abled girl, that isn't going to happen. So go ahead and do your thing. Bailey: Stevens. Izzie: Heather Douglas, 17. Past medical history of VADER syndrome. Bailey: Which is? Izzie: Vader syndrome is a genetic condition that affects the vertebra, anus, trachea, esophagus and renal system. Heather: Wow, give this girl a medal. She memorized the whole acronym. Which I assure you is a hell of a lot easier than living with it. Bailey: Stephens. Izzie: Right. Heather is in today for a lithotripsy to remove kidney stones. And a thoractoplasty to alleviate the pressure in her lungs. Callie: Can I ask...I know I'm just here to remove a few ribs but...have you ever tried anything more radical to treat the spinal curvature? Heather: Let's see. If by more radical you mean having a steel rod inserted into my spine, then yeah. We've tried. The rod just bent. Izzie: Removing the kidney stones may seem minor, but it will really improve your quality of life. Heather: Really? So this surgery is going to get me laid? Mrs. Douglas: Heather, stop it. Heather: Mom, I'm sorry, but she's talking about improving my quality of life. And I don't think doctors should make promises they can't keep. (NICU) Meredith: Laura Grey-Thompson. Born four days ago with Jujenal Atresia. Corrected surgically. Post-op course (Thatcher walks in) Thatcher: Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting? Her mom and grandma have the flu. They asked me to get an update. Addison: Oh she's doing very well Mr. Grey. We'll be out of here in just a minute. Bailey: Dr. Grey, you were saying? Thatcher: Excuse me, I'll just come back later. Bailey: Grey? (Meredith is just in her own world. Christina grabs the chart) Christina: Um Laura Grey-Thompson had some dilation of the bowels on x-ray this morning. We need to do a barium enema. (Seattle scenes) (In the hallway, Bailey is handing out assignments) Bailey: Dr. Grey, I'd like you to stick with Mr. O'Malley this week. Yang, pit. Karev, Sloan. Stephens, prep Heather Douglas for surgery. O'Malley, you take the rest of this week off? George: Yes ma'am. Bailey: Might as well take today off too. Spend some time with your family. George: Thank you. Dr. Bailey, as things progress with my family...well sometimes with the families, we sugarcoat things. It would help if you were straight with me as things progress. Bailey:OK. George: Thank you. Izzie: Dr. Bailey. Dr. Bailey. I know that I'm supposed to prep her only, but any chance that I could scrub in on Heather Douglas? I mean, a VADER patient isn't something you see very often. Bailey: No. Izzie: But I'm ready. I'm ready. Bailey: Your psychiatrist has not given you an all clear. Izzie: He's...I've done everything he's asked me to do. Everything...except deposit my inheritance check but... Bailey: Wait...you have not deposited a nearly $9 million check? Izzie: He is being unreasonable. That check has nothing to do with this... Bailey: Unreasonable is that you're losing thousands of dollars of interest every day. That's unreasonable. You clearly are not reasonable yet. I think that's the point your psychiatrist is trying to make. (Blood lab) Meredith: Hey, I need a CBC and Chem 7 on Harold O'Malley. Cristina: And I need these labs ASAP. Lab guy: Everybody needs everything ASAP. Cristina: Oh yes, and all throughout this hospital people are dying while you are here giving me crap about ASAP. Hey are youOKay? Meredith: Why wouldn't I be? Cristina: Your father...freezing up in rounds. God that was mortifying. Meredith: Thank you. Thanks. Cristina: Oh it wasn't mortifying? Meredith: I just wish that the baby would get well and go home and Thatcher would go with her. Is that wrong? Cristina: Wrong would be if you wished the baby wouldn't get well. Meredith:OK. Good. Thanks. Cristina: You know if you wanted to thank me, you could ask Derek if Burke has had any tremors. Meredith: Talk to him. Cristina: No, cause then he wins. Meredith: Wins what? Cristina: Forget it. Meredith: Do you have a father? Cristina: I have a stepfather. He's nice. I see him for Yom Kippur. (Nurse's station) Mark: Karev, how did I tell you I like my charts? I like to round on pre-op before post-op. Do you like wasting my time? Is it fun for you? Alex: No sir. Mark: Then get it right. Addison: Do you like abusing inters? Is it fun for you? Mark: Yes, it is. And in case you've forgotten, you don't get the high horse this week, Addison. Not this week. (Mark walks away) Alex: He's an ass. Addison: Not this week. (Bailey and Callie are walking through the hall) Callie: You know Shepherd well right? Bailey: Lots of hair, too many women. Likes elevators and long walks on the beach. Callie: So what's the best way to get him to do something? Bailey: What kind of something? Callie: A consult that the patient hasn't requested but that the friendly neighborhood ortho thinks is worth pursuing. Bailey: Shepherd thinks he's busier and more important than everyone else. Callie: Standard neurosurgeon breed. Bailey: Exactly. Callie:OK, so... Bailey: So he'll say no, until you stare him down. Callie: Stare him down? Bailey (with her classic evil glare) Stare him down. (Callie laughs and then realizes she's serious. She walks away and Bailey giggles) (Heather Douglas' room) Heather: You're way too hot to be a doctor. Izzie:OK. Heather: I mean aren't people like you supposed to be dumb? I'm just saying, you're not going to be in my surgery are you? Cause, I'm a little too young to die. Izzie: I will not be in on your surgery. Heather: See? I knew it. You're not even a doctor. Izzie: I am a doctor. It's just that when my fianc� dropped dead not too long ago I went a little nuts, so no surgeries for me for a while. Heather: Well so much for my theory that life doesn't suck for pretty people. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you. Izzie: Well you're in pain. Sometimes I'm a bitch for no reason at all. (Callie walks up to Derek) Callie: Oh Dr. Shepherd? Derek: Yes? Callie: I'm so sorry to bother you, I know you're very, very busy. But there's a girl here. She's 17 with severe scoliosis from VADER sydrome. She's here for thoractoplasty cause her ribs are pressing against her lungs. She's already had two spinal fusions and a segmented spinal intramentation which didn't work. She's bent over at 90 degrees which clearly sucks. Derek: "Clearly sucks" is that your professional assessment? Callie: My professional assessment is that we can help her. Derek: My day is impossible. (He goes to pass her and she moves in his way. She's staring at him with these big goofy eyes and he looks scared) Derek: I'll come by for a consult in the morning. (Derek leaves) Callie: I'm a good starer. (Harold walks to the nurse's station where Richard and Bailey are) Harold: Doctors, could I get a word? Richard: How are you feeling Harold? Harold: Great. I'm fine. It's just that the oncologist, he said that if the cancer was in other organs, he said that you won't proceed with the surgery. Richard: That's right Harold. If the cancer's spread to your other organs it will compromise your ability to recover from surgery. Harold: So if you cut me open and send me home I get what? A couple of weeks to live? Richard: You would have weeks or months, yes. Harold: No, you gotta take the tumor out. Cause, i can survive this. I know i can. O'Malley's we're fighters. Bailey: Mr. O'Malley, it's just...not a good idea. Harold: My wife...we've been married for 40 years. I make her crazy but...40 years. She needs me. My family needs me. I can't let you close me up and then tell them that there's nothing that can be done when I know I can fight it. So I'm asking for your word. I want you to take the tumor out. Richard: Mr. O'Malley, my job is to do the best I can for you medically. Harold: No, closing me up and sending me home to die isn't what's best for me. Not medically, or any other way. Please, take the tumor out. Richard: All right. Harold: All right? (Bailey nods) Thanks. Bailey: This falls under confidentiality? Richard: If you're asking if you can tell his son, the answer is no. (Meredith sleeping and snoring as Derek watches on. She wakes up) Meredith: You're watching me sleep again? Derek: You're cute when you sleep, what can I say? Meredith: Yeah, but don't you sleep? Why are you always up before the alarm? Derek: I'm a light sleeper. It's no big deal. Meredith: So something woke you up. Derek: It's no big deal. It's just that...you snore a little. Meredith: What? I do not! Derek: Yes you do. And I love it. I find it charming that such a big noise can come from such a little person. Meredith: Do you know what's not charming? Derek: What? Meredith: Your morning breath. Derek: I'm sorry. What? Meredith: I'm just saying, seeing as how you're always up before me, you might consider brushing your teeth. Derek:OK, this is me brushing my teeth. Meredith: Thank you. (George and Izzie are in the kitchen) Izzie: Surgery's today? George: Yeah. I'mOK. Izzie: Yeah, I have a really good feeling. George: Yeah? Izzie: I didn't even bake anything for you. George: Thank you. (Izzie sees her check and stops) (Seattle scenes) (Mark enters the hospital soaked) Alex: Bone dry cappuccino. Mark: At least something's dry around here. Does it ever stop raining in this hell hole? Alex: Not really. Mark: Great. Good to know. (He takes a sip of the coffee) What the hell is this Karev? Vanilla? Are you trying to poison me? Or are you just trying to make my day a little bit worse? Addison: Mark... Alex: Coffee cart must have screwed up. Mark: You know if you can't handle coffee, you can't handle plastics. Maybe you ought to head back to the gynie squad where life was all pink and squishy. Addison: Squishy and pink though it may be, I have an amazing surgery today Karev, if you want in. Alex: Yeah. (Olivia enters Burke's room) Olivia: Good morning Dr. Burke. Burke: Yes it is. Beautiful morning. I love watching the rain. Olivia: Feeling good? Not too much pain? Burke: Feeling great. Olivia: And your hand...your right hand? Feelin' good today? Burke: I'm sorry Olivia, it's just...you're going to have to tell Dr. Yang that I'm not ready to give her that information. Olivia: Right.OK then. Sorry. (She leaves and George enters) Cristina: Ask him... George: Uh huh (He closes the door) You know that Cristina's stalking your room? Burke: I do. (George hands him a chart) Your father? George: Yeah. The surgery my dad is having has 50% morbidity rate. Burke: O'Malley, that statistic means that 50% of the people that undergo the surgery survive. If you're going to hang your hat on statistics, then you have to look at both sides. (Heather Douglas' room) Derek: Heather, I've looked through your case history, and I know you've been through a lot of painful and very unsuccessful surgeries. But if you're up for it, I think I can significantly help the spinal curvature. Heather; By "help" what do you mean? Derek: I mean I think I can get you standing up straight. Heather: It's not nice to mock cripple kids. Derek: You see this curved part here (He points to x-ray) I'd remove it. Mrs. Douglas: You want to remove a portion of my daughter's spine? Derek: Mmm-hmm. And I would replace it with a titanium mesh cage, which would fill in the space between the vertebra. Callie: I've seen case studies, there have been quite a few successes. Mrs. Douglas: What about the ones that aren't successful. Callie: They result in paralysis or death. Izzie: Dr. Shepherd is the best there is. Mrs. Douglas: She's 17... Heather: Mom, I know you still think death is the worst thing that can happen to a person. Death is not the worst thing. I'm in. (Izzie enters the CT room where Bailey is) Izzie: They're going to cut out a piece of her spine. Heather Douglas. Drs. Shepherd and Torres, they're going to straighten her spine. Bailey: And? Izzie: And it's a once in a lifetime surgery. Please she's my patient. I've gotten to know her. I would really like to scrub in. Bailey: Did you deposit that check? Izzie: It's my money, I should get to do what I want with it. Bailey: You get a 5% return on a 6-month CD? In the time we been standing here you could have just made $400. Izzie: Dr. Bailey. Bailey: It is not reasonable Stevens. (Harold's room) George: Dad it's your discard. Harold: I'm sorry for running over Bucky. George: What? Harold: Your dog? The yappy dog Bucky? When you were a kid, I ran over him and I told you he ran away. I'm sorry about that. George: You ran over my dog on purpose? Harold: Of course not. He was chasing after the truck as always. He got caught up under the tire. You were so sensitive. You were such a soft kid. I couldn't bear to tell you. George: I wasn't soft. Harold: I mean it good Georgie. You were kind, you loved animals, you were always looking to help people. I couldn't face you and tell you that I killed your dog. I told you a lie. And I'm saying I'm sorry. George:OK. Harold: You're a good kid Georgie. Always been such a good kid. I want to tell you... George: Dad, stop acting like you're dying. You're not dyingOK? Harold: I want to tell you that I think you're crazy if you let that Callie get away. George: Dad, please. Harold: No, she gets you. She gets you in a way that your family never has. And I'm sorry about that. You grew up feeling so different all the time. That's another thing I'm sorry about. George: Dad, stop it. Stop apologizing. Stop saying goodbye. You can't...that's no way to go into surgery. Harold: I'm going to die someday Georgie. We're all going to die. And lying here in this bed, it gives me time to think about all the things I haven't said is all. George:OK. Well, discard. Harold: Anything you want to say to me? George: Dad! Harold: I'm discarding. George: Dog murderer. (They both laugh) (Harold is being wheeled to surgery) Louise: Tell me what I want to hear. Harold: If I die you'll kill me. Louise: He's a quick study. (Thatcher walks up) Thatcher: Meredith, hello. Meredith: Hello. Thatcher: How are you? Meredith: Good. Busy with work. We have a patient. Harold: Hello. Thatcher: Hello. Louise: Hi. Thatcher: Hi. George: Hi. Thatcher: Hi. Alright then (He stammers a lot) It was nice seeing you. Meredith:OK. Louise: That your ex-boyfriend. Meredith: That's my ex-father. (Harold's OR) Richard: See Grey? Good exposure to the esophageal hiatus. Meredith: Yes sir. Bailey: Now we will inspect and palpate the abdominal cavity. Meredith: Those are the mets right? Richard: Throughout the stomach, celiac lymph nodes, the liver. Bailey: It's everywhere. Meredith: So that's it? We're closing him back up? Bailey: No. We will proceed. Meredith: But I thought... Richard: The patient asked us to proceed. Meredith: What does that mean exactly? Richard: This man asked for a chance to fight. That means that he's going to have to fight like hell. Meredith: But he can recover? There's a chance? Bailey: There's a chance. Dr. Grey, the request from the patient... Meredith: Was private. Bailey: Yes. Meredith:OK. [SCENE_BREAK] (Addison enters Burke's room) Addison: Preston. Burke: Oh, Addison. Addison: How you feeling? Burke: Better. Looking foreword to going home. Addison: Well, I'm sure bet Dr. Yang is looking foreword to having you back there as well. Burke: Maybe, I wouldn't know. Addison: Why wouldn't you know? Is that over? Burke: No it's not over. It's just silent. Addison: Oh I heard something about this. One of the nurses was talking, I just thought it was gossip. Burke: No, it's not. Addison: So you're not talking to her. Why not? Burke: Did you ever play "say uncle?" Addison: Say Uncle? Burke: Someone bends your arm behind your back harder and harder until you say "uncle." Addison: Then what happens? Burke: Then they have all the power. Addison: I see. So you are not saying uncle. Burke: Yes. Addison: And neither is she. Burke: It seems that way. Addison: That's pathetic. Burke: You may be right. Addison: If am right. If you say something wrong then you apologize. Burke: I didn't do anything wrong. Addison: Did she? Burke: She doesn't seem to think so. Addison: That's pathetic. (Seattle scenes) (Callie enters the waiting room) Callie: Hey. George: Hey. Callie: You're all alone. Where's your family? George: Eating. They like to eat. Callie: You're pacing. George: Yeah. It's just, he's been in surgery for a while. Callie: It's good. It means they're being thorough. George: Or it means that there are complications. Callie: Somebody would have told you if there were complications. George: Right. Callie: It'sOK to be scared. George: I'm not scared. Callie: I'm just saying if you are, you can talk to me. George: I'm not scared. Callie: You sure about that? (She stares him down) George:OK, now I'm scared of you. Callie: Damn it. I'm staring you down. George: Staring me down? Callie: Yeah it worked on Shepherd. George: Seriously? Callie: Wait, let me try again. George: No sorry, I'm still scared Callie: Nothin? George: Hold on I'll be right back. (He walks over to Bailey and Meredith who are in the doorway) (Bailey and Meredith lead George and his family to Harold's recovery room) George: You should prepare yourself because this is a much more extensive surgery than the heart valve. There's probably still a tube in his throat helping him breathe. And half of his stomach was cut out and part of his esophagus, so there'll be a big scar. Just be prepared. Louise: Welcome back sweetheart. Ronny: Dad looks like something out of the butcher's shop. Jerry: That's a cool scar. (George doesn't go in. Meredith finds him outside.) Meredith: You need to breathe. George: He's my dad. Meredith: I know. George: He's my dad. Meredith: I know (She leans her head on his shoulder) (Once again, Meredith is snoring. Only this time she wakes up to Derek is not there. She finds him in George's room) Meredith: Oh you have got to be kidding me? Where's George? Derek: He spent the night at the hospital. Meredith: And you slept in his bed? All night? Derek: No just after you fell asleep. Meredith: So you're telling me that my snoring is so bad...how did you deal with it for all those nights before I found out about your wife? (Izzie walks by) Izzie: He usually sleeps on the couch, sets an alarm, gets back in bed before you wake up. Derek: Yeah, I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Meredith: Oh I'm going to do more than hurt your feelings. (She smacks him with a pillow) Derek: What are you doing? (He grabs her and pulls her to the bed) I'm gonna hurt your feelings cause (He breaths on her) (Izzie goes to the kitchen and stares at her check, then grabs it off the fridge) (Seattle scenes) (Izzie is at the bank) Man: Can I...help you? Izzie: (sobbing) I...I inherited $8 million. Man: I'm sorry? Izzie: Almost 9 actually. (Tears are pouring from her eyes, she's almost hysterical) I'm sorry. (He hands her a tissue) Thank you. Man: I'm sorry, did you say... Izzie: Just take it. Just take it please. Man: Is that...It's covered in food. Is this some kind of joke? Izzie: It is kind of a joke. A really cruel joke. Man: I'm sorry, you want to deposit it? Izzie: If I wanted to deposit it, do you think I would look like this? Man: I don't understand. Izzie: I'm supposed to do something good. I'm supposed to do something good and I...can you just deposit the damn thing already!? (George is in Burke's room) Burke: I'm surprised they proceeded with the surgery. George: Me too. I guess they think he has a strong enough constitution to fight the cancer. Burke: Is he conscious? George: No. He's still intubated. So they have him sedated. Burke: Your main concern over the next few days will be multi-system organ failure. That is that the surgery was too intense for his weakened organs to support. You want to watch the kidneys. Cause if the kidneys fail that's a sign that everything else is starting to go George: So, we're watching the kidneys. Burke: You're watching the kidneys. George: Thank you. Do you mind me asking, how's your hand? Burke: I don't mind if you ask. I will mind if you tell Cristina. George: You two have a strange relationship. Burke: Yes we do. Yeah. (NICU) Thatcher: And when you go home, you're going to have your very own room. Yes you do. And your mom she got one of those stencils. And she made little butterflies and flowers. (Alex catches Meredith watching Thatcher through the window) Alex: You need something? Meredith: No. I'm fine. (Alex goes in the NICU) Thatcher: Oh it gets quiet in here. Alex: You the one that paged me? Nurse: I started my shift 10 minutes ago. Noticed her abdomen looked a little distended Thatcher: Her stomach's distended? I didn't notice that. Alex: It's hard to see. Page Dr. Montgomery STAT. Thatcher: Is everythingOK? Is that bad? Alex: Let's just wait for Dr. Montgomery. (Meredith walks up to Derek at the nurse's station) Derek: What's the matter? Meredith: My father's here. Derek: Your father? Meredith: The one I don't talk to and barely know. He's here. Derek: Is he here to see you? Meredith: No. He's here with his other family. Derek: Oh sorry. Meredith: Where do you sleep at the trailer? Derek: What? Meredith: When we sleep at the trailer. Where do you sleep? Derek: You know the hammock outside? Sorry. Meredith: I'm a girl with abandonment issues. You have to sleep with me from now on. Derek:OK. Meredith:OK. (Izzie walks up to Bailey in the hall) Izzie: A note from my hack of a shrink. I get to scrub in. Bailey: Not till I say so. Izzie: I deposited the check. (Mrs. Douglas is sitting in the hallway, yelling on her cell phone) Mrs. Douglas: You cheap son of a bitch bastards are going straight to hell. Straight to hell! Bailey: Mrs. Douglas? Mrs. Douglas: Insurance bastards. They say the surgery's too experimental. Bailey: They wont pay. Mrs. Douglas: It's a $200,000 surgery, plus a hospital stay, plus rehab. Even if I get 3 jobs...son of a bitch bastards. Bailey: Looks like there won't be a surgery to scrub in on. Sorry Stephens. (Addison enters the NICU) Addison: Talk to me. Alex: Her abdomen was distended and she needed increased ventilatory support. Thatcher: Sorry, I was talking to her, I didn't notice. Alex: Look at her x-rays. Addison: She's got massive free air trapped beneath her diaphragm. Mr. Grey we need to take Laura in for surgery. Thatcher: What another surgery? Why? Addison: Her x-rays indicate that there's a perforation in the bowel. We need to get in there right away. Alex: Here's a form we need you to sign. Thatcher: I don't...I ...her mother has the flu. Alex: You're not authorized to sign? Thatcher: I am but, I'd like to fill her mother in. Addison: We don't have time for you to now know Mr. Grey. Your granddaughter doesn't have time. Thatcher: All right. (Laura's surgery) Addison: Take out more of the bowel, I need better visualization. Alex: It's so tiny I'm afraid I might crush it. Addison: It's tougher than you think. Go ahead and give it a little squeeze. Alex: Thanks. Addison: Look at that. The NG tube is eroded right through the stomach wall. I may have to resect an entire portion of the stomach. (Monitors go off) She's hypotensive, push 30ccs. albumin. Alex: Whew. Scary. Addison: You're telling me. This is Meredith Grey's niece. If I lost her, people might think that I did it on purpose. (Richard walks into the gallery where Meredith is) Richard: How's it going? Meredith:OK. They had a scare a minute ago but she stabilized. Richard: Your father is pacing up and down the halls. He's worried. Maybe you can give him an update. Meredith: Maybe you can give him an update. Richard: He's not a big fan of mine. Meredith: He's not a big fan of mine either. Richard: I can't imagine that's true. Your mother was a force to be reckoned with. If she wanted things a certain way...I'm saying your father was a good man when I knew him. He may have a side in this that you don't know about. Meredith: What, you think he tried to send me a card every year, and my mother has a whole drawer of unopened cards? Because it's not often that my life turns out that way. Richard: I don't know. But you don't know either until you ask him. (Harold's room) Callie: Hey. How's he doing? Jerry: Georgie's obsessed with our dad's pee. Ronny: Yeah, this is weird even for Georgie. Louise: Boys be nice. George: His kidney function. I'm obsessed with his kidney function, not his pee. I'm not obsessed. I'm excited. Jerry: You're not going to drink that are you Georgie? George: 130ccs. 133ccs of shiny yellow urine! Callie: 130ccs in how long? George: 4 hours. Callie: No way! That is fantastic! Yay! (They start dancing around and George leans in and kisses her ) Thank you. Thank you. (Mark and Addison pass in the hallway) Addison: Mark. I'm sorry you're hurting. Mark: You're sorry I'm hurting or you're sorry? (Addison enters the NICU) Addison: Karev. Alex: Oh hey. I was just checking on the baby's capillary refills. Addison: No that's good, it's good. We all need a little human contact from time to time. Alex: It sucks. It's like she hasn't had a chance to deserve this, you know. Addison: Is that why you wanted to go into plastics? Cause people sign up for the pain they get. Alex: Yeah. For the most part they do, yeah. Addison: You're right. It does suck watching them struggle. And that part never stops sucking. But then you get to see a baby heal and they get to go home and you just imagine this whole life that they're going to live. Well there's noting better than that. And that part never changes. But if you want to go back to plastics... Alex: Nah. The vanilla Latte? I did that on purpose. Addison: Why? Alex: Cause he was rude to you. (They share a moment and lean in to kiss but stop when a nurse enters) Alex: I'm sorry. Addison: No I'm sorry. God, I'm really sorry. Alex: No I'mOK I just...sorry. Addison:OK yeah. Yeah. (Heather's room) Izzie; Oh hey, you need some help? Heather: I can walk to the bathroom myself. I've been doing it my whole life and nothing's changing anytime soon so just get out of my way,OK? (Meredith walks by the NICU and sees Thatch, and walks away Thatcher: Meredith? ([i]Seattle scenes) (George is pondering his father. Bailey is thinking about Mr. O'Malley. Cristina is thinking about Burke. Burke is thinking about Cristina. Alex is in an elevator thinking about Addison. Addison is in another elevator thinking about Alex. Mark is thinking about Addison. Richard walks up to Bailey, he too is worried about Mr. O'Malley. Cristina is laying on a couch in Burke's room. Callie is sitting on some stairs alone. Izzie sits down next to George and grabs his hand. Meredith is asleep, snoring and Derek is just laying next to her, awake.)	Plan: A: a successful heart surgery; Q: What did George's father have done before he had surgery? A: Dr. Hahn; Q: Who performed George's father's heart surgery? A: George's father; Q: Who undergoes surgery to remove the tumor that has spread through his body? A: Bailey; Q: Who refuses to let Izzie scrub in on a surgery until she cashes in her check? A: a certain procedure; Q: What does Bailey and Webber do in spite of their medical opinion? A: their medical opinion; Q: What is the reason Bailey and Webber perform the surgery according to Mr. O'Malley's wishes? A: Thatcher Grey; Q: Who visits Seattle Grace Hospital to stay by the side of his daughter Molly? A: Meredith; Q: Who has trouble connecting to Thatcher Grey? A: trouble; Q: What does Derek have with sleeping due to Meredith's snoring? A: Alex; Q: Who works with Addison when she needs an emergency surgery? A: Addison; Q: Who does Alex work with when the baby needs an emergency surgery? A: days; Q: How long does Derek sleep on the couch? A: A young girl; Q: Who is admitted to the hospital with a severe bone condition that is thought to be inoperable? A: a severe bone condition; Q: What is the young girl suffering from that is thought to be inoperable? A: Derek's neurological advice; Q: What does Callie ignore when she believes that a certain expensive surgery might be life-saving? A: Izzie begs; Q: How does Izzie try to get into a surgery? Summary: After a successful heart surgery performed by Dr. Hahn, George's father undergoes surgery to remove the tumor that has spread through his body. Webber and Bailey perform the surgery and do a certain procedure according to Mr. O'Malley's wishes, in spite of their medical opinion. Thatcher Grey visits Seattle Grace Hospital to stay by the side of his daughter Molly, who has just given birth to a girl. Meredith has trouble connecting to him and hesitates in talking to him all day long. Alex works with Addison when the baby needs an emergency surgery, and afterwards they nearly kiss. Derek has trouble sleeping due to Meredith's disturbing snoring as she learns that he had been sleeping on the couch for days. A young girl is admitted to the hospital, suffering from a severe bone condition that is thought to be inoperable. Despite Derek's neurological advice, Callie believes that a certain expensive surgery might be live-saving. Izzie begs to scrub in on a surgery, but Bailey refuses to let her do so until she cashes in her check.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars� Abel Koontz is interviewed by Veronica (from 108 "Like a Virgin"). VERONICA: You never saw Lilly Kane in your life. Why would you confess to killing her? KOONTZ: Do you wanna know how I bashed your friend's brains in. I know who you are, Veronica Mars. Rebecca James and Duncan in a counselling session (from 112 "Clash of the Tritons"). REBECCA: How long have you been feeling like this? DUNCAN: Since I stopped taking my meds. Cut to Veronica listening in her car from the same episode. VERONICA VOICEOVER: So what exactly is your mystery illness Duncan and what other pills are you taking? Aaron and Logan in their funeral clothes as they pause at the front door (from 113 "Lord of the Bling"). AARON: I know you blame me for your mother's death. Let's make a deal. Our war's over now. Logan and Duncan in Logan's room from the same episode. LOGAN: They didn't find a body because she's not dead, she just escaped. Cut to Veronica opening the door of the apartment to find Logan from the same episode. VERONICA: Logan, what are you doing here? LOGAN: I want you to find my mother. End previously and carrying straight on from there. LOGAN: Relax, I'm not asking you to drag the lake. My mother didn't really kill herself. VERONICA: [Softly] Come inside, okay? Veronica steps back as Logan enters the apartment, his arms still wrapped around his body. LOGAN: Veronica, she's not dead. VERONICA: [Carefully] What makes you think she's still alive? LOGAN: [Impatiently] Why does everyone assume that she's not? I mean, there's no body. VERONICA: What about the woman who saw her jump? It's been on every channel. LOGAN: [Quietly sarcastic] Well, if she's on the TV, she must be telling the truth. But her credit cards were missing. I mean, doesn't that seem like... [voice shaking] I don't know, a clue? You don't jump off a bridge with your platinum card. VERONICA:Logan, I- LOGAN: [Insistent] I know my mother! VERONICA: Okay... Logan lets out a big sigh and looks down at his hands. He is still carrying Lynn's lighter. Throughout this scene, Veronica speaks softly and sympathetically but with a view to trying to reason with him. VERONICA: I heard she left a note. LOGAN: Well, yeah, she wants people to think she's dead. But if she was going to really do the deed, it would be chardonnay and sleeping pills. [Smiles] You know, she wouldn't risk being found bug-eyed and bloated in some shrimp net. VERONICA: I'll see what I can find out. Logan turns to go. LOGAN: You know I... He pauses, framed in the doorway. LOGAN: I just need to know she's okay. He leaves as Veronica stares after him. Cut to an abrupt change of mood as students, their desks ranged in two groups facing each other across the classroom, slap their desks and tap their feet rhythmically. The teacher, Mr Rooks prowls the central walkway created by the arrangement. The students include Veronica and Wallace. MR ROOKS: Scholars! Thinkers! Learned charges. You asked for it. You got it. World history review, roundup and death match. STUDENTS: Woo. MR ROOKS: Who will reign supreme? Will it be [pointing to the students in the group opposite Veronica's] the Age of Enlightenment rock stars? AGE OF ENLIGHTMENT GROUP: Ooga-booga-booga-booga! MR ROOKS: Or will it be the children of the Industrial Revolution? CHILDREN OF THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLTION GROUP: Ah-ooga! The camera closes in on Veronica, with Wallace sitting behind her. Both are enjoying themselves immensely. MR ROOKS: Blood is in the air. Blood! Round one! Let's take a look at the board! Rooks has an overhead projector set up at one end of the room to shine onto the blackboard at the other end. He removes a strip of paper to reveal written at the top of a slide: Five Leading Causes of the Fall of the Roman Empire. MR ROOKS: The question is what are five leading causes of the fall of the Roman Empire? The student next to Veronica presses the small bell on his desk. The students start to click their fingers. MR ROOKS: Team captain Corazon Soliman, your answer? STUDENT: The Huns kicked their ass. The students laugh and look up at Rooks. MR ROOKS: The correct answer was invading Germanic hordes. The students groan a little as Rooks presses his hand to his ear. MR ROOKS: Judges? Judges award the point! Children of the Industrial Revolution, you control the board! The students celebrate as Rooks reveals the second answer on the list on the projector: 2. Invading Germanic Hordes. Rooks then starts clicking his own fingers as he observes them. MR ROOKS: You know the rules. I can call on any team member. Who will be the weakest link? Wallace Fennel, show me what you got. WALLACE: All right, Mr Rooks. They relied too much on slave labour. MR ROOKS: Can I see slave labour? Rooks goes back to the projector and pulls another strip away revealing: 4. Over Reliance on Slave Labor. There's more cheering. MR ROOKS: Two more answers. Uh-oh. I see someone hiding back there, trying to disappear completely. Carrie Bishop. [With gusto] Sock it to me, baby! Carrie is clearly not into the fun at all. She smiles but there is no humour in it. CARRIE: The answer is I'm not pregnant. Rooks face drops and the students stop clicking their fingers, shocked. CARRIE: So you can quit dodging my calls and you can keep your money to [air quotes] take care of it. And while we're at it, [throws him a key] here's your key back. I won't be needing it anymore. Opening credits. Veronica is the last student in Rooks' class. She approaches him. VERONICA: Are you okay? MR ROOKS: Oh, been better. [Sighs heavily] She's making it up, you know. I never touched that girl. I've never seen her outside of class. VERONICA: I know. MR ROOKS: Yeah but it's not going to matter. Class has been out less than a minute and I would guess that everyone in this school has heard by now. Veronica turns her head to see where Rooks is looking. It is through the open door of the classroom where some students are peering in, gossiping. VERONICA: That's probably a good guess. MR ROOKS: This is all I ever wanted to do. And it's over. VERONICA: Not if I can help it. Rooks gives her a resigned look. Cut to cheerleaders carrying their lunches past some of the outdoor tables. They pass Carrie, who is sitting alone at one of the tables. Three girls are at a table behind her. One of the girl's starts to sing the Police's "Don't Stand So Close To Me". From the look on her face and the phrasing, her intent is malicious. Carrie glances round then goes back to her lunch. SONG: Young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy She wants him so badly knows what she wants to be Her two friends join in. SONG: Temptation, frustration, so bad it makes him cry Her bus stop, she's waiting, his car is warm and dry Don't stand so, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me Carrie's had enough and walked off with her lunch, observed by Veronica and Wallace. WALLACE: That's rough, man. VERONICA: Don't look to me for sympathy. Carrie has had a long and storied reign as the gossip queen of Neptune High. WALLACE: You get a crown with that? VERONICA: Do something for me? WALLACE: Let me guess. Borrow her permanent file? VERONICA: I remember when you were new and eager to please. Good times. They smile. Veronica looks over her shoulder and spots someone. VERONICA: Hey! She scrambles off the bench and approaches Duncan, who is walking past. VERONICA: Can I ask you kind of a weird favour? DUNCAN: Depends how weird. VERONICA: Our family physician just retired to Death Valley, literally. I know it sounds like a metaphor, but it's not. [Duncan laughs] Anyway, we need a new general practitioner. Can I get the name of yours? DUNCAN: Sure. Dr. Al Levine. He's in the book. VERONICA: Thanks. DUNCAN: Yeah, no problem. He's� kind of expensive, though. VERONICA: We've got insurance. Duncan seems a little sceptical that this will be adequate but is too polite to argue. He leaves. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Al Levine. Got it. It's time to find out what this mystery illness is you're suffering from. Cut to later. Veronica exits the school and is met by Wallace. He has a file. He looks around conspiratorially. WALLACE: Carrie's file. He holds it out to her but as her fingers close on it, he snatches it back. WALLACE: If you are caught with this, I will disavow any knowledge of you or your mission. You'll be on your own. VERONICA: Don't worry. I've got a cyanide capsule in a false tooth. If I'm caught, I'll do the honourable thing. He hands her the file. WALLACE: It's been a privilege knowing you, Mars. He heads off a Veronica looks around then starts perusing the file. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Well, well, well, Carrie. Deeply into the file, she doesn't see Logan approach and stop next to her. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I'm not sure this is- LOGAN: It's a good read? Veronica is startled and quickly closes the file. LOGAN: Any news? VERONICA: I put notices on your mom's credit cards and on her ATM card. LOGAN: Meaning what? VERONICA: Meaning a friend of my father's who works at your family bank will text message me if any of the cards are used. And you know that eyewitness that's been clogging up the airwaves? LOGAN: Yeah. Opportunistic hag. VERONICA: That's the one. Well, she's giving a statement at the sheriff's department tomorrow. I'll drop by; see if she's up for a chat. LOGAN: Well, I'll go with you. VERONICA: Actually, despite popular opinion, you really can't beat the truth out of someone. Veronica moves away, returning to her scan of Carrie's file, leaving Logan standing but only for a moment before he follows her. LOGAN: Listen, I'm going. VERONICA: You're not. LOGAN: 'Kay, what are you going to stop me with? VERONICA: Force of will, strength of character, tenacity, [illustrating] karate chop... Logan puts his hand on her arm to stop her walking and turn her to face him. LOGAN: [With finger pointed] I will know if she's lying, okay. You won't. VERONICA: [Resigned] Fine. I've got a plan. LOGAN: [Harsh laugh] Yeah, I'm sure you do. Logan stands, arms akimbo as Veronica turns her attention elsewhere. VERONICA: Hey, Carrie, wait up! Veronica walks on and reaches Carrie. CARRIE: [Sarcastic] Why? Did you want the chance to tell me how much you admired me for my brave stand? VERONICA: I want to give you a chance to recant before I prove you're lying. CARRIE: Why do you even care? VERONICA: There aren't many great teachers. Mr Rooks is one of them. CARRIE: Yeah, if you can get past the part where he seduces his students. VERONICA: Hey, Carrie, this is me, Veronica. I know you. CARRIE: You're so naive. VERONICA: Yeah, that's me, naive. Carrie opens the door of her car to leave. VERONICA: Mr Rooks called your parents in for a parent-teacher conference last September. Hardly seems like something an illicit boyfriend would do. CARRIE: Believe what you want. Never cared what you thought of me before, no reason to start now. Carrie gets into her car. Veronica sighs softly. Cut to Veronica entering Mars Investigations. Keith comes out of the kitchenette. KEITH: Hey, sweetie. VERONICA: Hey. KEITH: Hey, you know a teacher named Chuck Rooks? Teaches history? VERONICA: Yeah, I'm in his class. KEITH: Oh, good, good. I want you to find out whatever you can about him. VERONICA: Why? KEITH: Well, the parents of a girl named Carrie Bishop just hired us to investigate him. Apparently Carrie filed a sexual harassment claim against him this afternoon. They want him fired. Veronica is horrified, shaking her head. KEITH: What's wrong? Veronica is momentarily dumbstruck. Cut to a little later. Veronica is at her desk, emptying her bag, loudly. Keith is standing in front of her desk, observing. KEITH: Calm down. What are you so upset about? VERONICA: [Passionately] Mr Rooks is an amazing teacher, one of the few good teachers at Neptune High. And you're just going to join the witch hunt to get him fired? KEITH: I'm just running a background check. I'm not organising a stoning in the town square. VERONICA: For the record, I can't help you. I've already volunteered to work with him. You know how I dread going to that school every day? His class is one of the few things that I look forward to. KEITH: Well, I'm sorry. This is my business, honey. It's what I do. Besides, the girl deserves to be heard. VERONICA: No, actually, she doesn't. She's a liar and a gossip and a manipulator. KEITH: What makes you think that? VERONICA: I just do. KEITH: Well, I can't drop a case based on a feeling you have, I'm sorry. Keith goes into his office. Veronica sulks. VERONICA: Fine. You can answer your own phone. Keith stares at her from his office as Veronica gets out her laptop and thinks. SUSAN: [Offscreen] I'm surprised they lasted as long as they did. Flashback to the girls' bathroom. Carrie and her friend, Susan Knight, are at the mirrors. Unbeknownst to them, Veronica is in one of the stalls and can hear them. CARRIE: I know. SUSAN: I mean, of all of the girls in the school Duncan could have gone out with, Veronica Mars? [Snorts] I mean, how insane is that? CARRIE: He's out of his mind, that's for sure. She really got her claws into him. SUSAN: You know, I actually sort of feel sorry for the guy. I mean, you know all she's after is his money. CARRIE: No, I mean, he's literally crazy. Like loony-bin crazy. SUSAN: What are you talking about? CARRIE: Well, you know how Brian's brother is a resident at the hospital? And Brian told Ashley that last week; Duncan was brought in kicking and screaming, foaming at the mouth, calling out Veronica's name. It took like three orderlies to get him in a straight jacket. In her stall, Veronica is distressed at this. SUSAN: Come on. CARRIE: That's what I heard. Veronica flushes the toilet and storms out. Carrie and Susan turn and see her. Veronica goes to the sink. VERONICA: Carrie Bishop and Susan Knight. Go figure. Carrie can't be seen but Susan looks uncomfortable. Cut to Veronica at Mars Investigations and then immediately to the sheriff's department. Veronica and Logan are sitting, waiting. VERONICA: We should do this more often. Logan ignores her and chews his gun. Steps are heard as a woman exits one of the offices. WOMAN: Thank you, detective. VERONICA: That's her. She heads towards where they are sitting. Logan takes out his gum and sticks it under the chair in preparation of confronting her. Veronica puts out her arm. VERONICA: Down, boy. Relax, I've got it covered. [Speaking softly into her sleeve] White trash walking. She hands an earpiece to Logan as the woman passes them. VERONICA: I know, gadgets and all. Logan glances at the woman and beyond where, Cliff can be seen waiting for the woman. Logan puts the earpiece in his ear and can hear Cliff. CLIFF: Oh, uh, Ms Stanton. Cliff McCormack from "Weekly World News." My boss is very interested in your story. MS STANTON: Well, are we talking an exclusive, or what 'cause I'm getting lots of offers. CLIFF: Oh, definitely an exclusive. WOMAN: Well, what's the offer? CLIFF: Well, it depends on what you've got. Did she look intoxicated, drugged up, bruised? WOMAN: If you'd like, sure. Logan explodes off the chair and heads for the woman, shouting. Veronica follows. LOGAN: So, what?! You couldn't get on "Springer" this week, so you make lies up about my mom? VERONICA: Logan... Veronica puts herself between Logan and the woman. LOGAN: You know, I am sure the trailer payments must be high. And what with the high price of spam these days� The woman stalks off. Logan starts to follow but Veronica holds his arms. He throws Veronica's restraining hands off to raise his own in his "that's it" gesture and walks in the other direction. Veronica turns to Cliff. VERONICA: Okay, enough. Thanks, Cliff. You're the best. CLIFF: [Returning the microphone and earpiece to her] If by best you mean willing. You owe me one, kid. Cliff leaves and Veronica heads back to Logan, who is leaning against the wall As she reaches him, she sees Leo. VERONICA: Hey. LEO: Hi. VERONICA: [To Logan] I have to take care of something. I'll be like two seconds. Stay calm. Finding out what that woman is about is good news. Logan is still keyed up but nods. Veronica heads in Leo's direction. VERONICA: Deputy. LEO: What do you want, Veronica? VERONICA: A chance to explain. LEO: What's to explain? You used me. I get it. VERONICA: Lilly Kane was my best friend. LEO: Listen, I know all about your dad and the murder investigation- VERONICA: No, you don't. You know the story that everyone else knows. LEO: A guy confessed. He said he did it. Veronica pulls Leo closer, away from the other deputies. VERONICA: [Urgently] Did you know that the head of security at Kane Software was the one that made the tip call that got Abel Koontz arrested? Did you know that your own crime scene photos make it impossible for Abel to have left the Kane house with a pair of Lilly's shoes that they found on his houseboat? Did you know there's a traffic ticket that proves that Lilly's time of death is three hours off? LEO: How do you know all this? VERONICA: I know all of this because I have done everything I could to get to the truth... including using you. And I'm really sorry about that. But I-I used you, then fell for you, not the other way around. LEO: [Smiles] You fell for me? Veronica smiles uncertainly back. Cut to Veronica approaching a wooden door. She knocks. VERONICA: Hello? Rooks opens the door into a small patio area with a small swimming pool. There is a little girl in the background. MR ROOKS: Hey, Veronica. Uh, come on in. Meet my daughter, Olivia. Veronica enters and approaches the little girl. VERONICA: Hi, Olivia. I'm one of your dad's students, Veronica. She must be going through a shy phase. MR ROOKS: No, not really. She's usually pretty gregarious. She must really dislike you. VERONICA: There's a club she can join. MR ROOKS: Sweetie, why don't you go finish your colouring. I'll-I'll come in and join you, okay? There you go. Rooks installs her at a child's desk on the porch, behind a child gate. VERONICA: She's adorable. MR ROOKS: Well, if you get past her megalomania and reactionary politics. I get her on the weekends. My ex-wife has her during the week. VERONICA: I'm sorry to intrude on your weekend. MR ROOKS: Oh, no problem. What's on your mind? VERONICA: A few months ago, you called a parent-teacher conference with Carrie's parents? MR ROOKS: How would you know that? VERONICA: I can't reveal my sources. MR ROOKS: Uh. Veronica, I appreciate your offer of help. It's very generous. But I really think this is an adult matter. VERONICA: Right now, Carrie's parents have a private investigator running a background check on you. There's going to be a hearing. If the school board believes Carrie's allegations, you'll never teach again. MR ROOKS: Her parents came to see me about her grades. I gave her a C on her midterm paper. She thought it was unfair that the black mark on her transcript would keep her out of Cornell. VERONICA: Do you suppose that's why she's after you? Spoiling her Ivy League dreams? MR ROOKS: Honestly, I couldn't tell you. VERONICA: Do you have anyone representing you at the school board hearing? MR ROOKS: Well, faculty union rep. VERONICA: Who's that? MR ROOKS: You're looking at him. Cut to Mars Investigations. Veronica is at her desk. Keith enters. KEITH: Any messages? Veronica glares at him and says nothing. Keith takes off his jacket and heads over to her desk. KEITH: Veronica. I know you admire this guy and I encourage you to stand up for your convictions when you think you're right. But Rooks is a bad egg and I don't want you getting hurt when the whole story comes out. VERONICA: I'm sorry. I believe him. KEITH: Carrie kept a very detailed diary of her affair with him. It's full of times and dates. She recorded the very date of a weekend she spent in a hotel with him when her parents were out of town. She writes about him taking her to a fancy restaurant in San Diego after she won the District Extemporaneous Speaking Competition. VERONICA: So? That doesn't prove anything. I could write down that I met Kid Rock every weekend at the Hedonism Lodge for sensual massage and smoothies, but that doesn't make it true. KEITH: I did a cross check of Rooks' credit card history. [Getting a file out of his briefcase] The charges match Carrie's diary. VERONICA: She could have followed him. KEITH: Sweetie, it's very specific. And I don't want you seeing Kid Rock. Veronica sighs, concerned. Cut to later. Veronica is standing at the front of her desk, her back to the door to the office and picks up the phone. DOCTOR'S RECEPTIONIST: Dr. Levine's office. VERONICA: Hi, this is Veronica Mars. Veronica doesn't see or hear Logan enter the office, holding a tabloid. VERONICA: I was wondering if I could get in to see the doctor sometime this week. End of the day would be best. I have band practice after school. DOCTOR'S RECEPTIONIST: How's five o'clock? VERONICA: Five is great. Thanks. LOGAN: I'm no doctor� Veronica whirls round. LOGAN: �but I'm, uh, pretty sure Penicillin will clear that problem right up. VERONICA: Can't say I was expecting you. LOGAN: Yeah, yeah, I usually avoid buildings with stained glass. VERONICA: [In her girlie voice] That's why you haven't come to visit. Veronica has moved round to sit at her desk and Logan slaps the tabloid down in front of her. LOGAN: [Excited] There's a woman who saw my mom get out of her car and get in a van with a [air quotes] mysterious stranger. VERONICA: There's also a jungle tribe that worships Donald Trump's hair. It's a tabloid. LOGAN: [Smiles] What, so the girl with the pig arm can't really bowl? VERONICA: [Genuinely] I just don't want you to get your hopes up. LOGAN: I'm not paying you to worry about my hopes. I'm paying you to follow leads. VERONICA: I wasn't aware you were paying me. LOGAN: This isn't a favour, it's a job, you know. I mean, we're not [hands up] exchanging friendship bracelets. VERONICA: I'll stop braiding. LOGAN: The woman said my mom was laughing and having fun. And so do whatever it is you do and track her down. Veronica is reading the story. VERONICA: Sondra Bolan of Sunset Springs. How am I going to find her? Veronica picks up the phone. VERONICA: [Into the phone] In Sunset Springs. Sondra Bolan. [Whispering to Logan as she waits] I'll put it on your bill. [Into the phone] Hi, Sondra, this is Veronica of "The National Instigator." I had a few follow-up questions on your Lynn Echolls story. [Pauses] Actually, in person is a lot better. [Pauses again] No, Tuesday night's no good, newspaper work night. Logan, who has been leaning on a filing cabinet, worriedly steps forward. LOGAN: What are you doing? Veronica looks at him but continues speaking to Sondra on the phone. VERONICA: Any chance you're available right now? She smiles at Logan. Cut to a coffee bar. Veronica and Sondra are sitting opposite each other on two small couches. VERONICA: So I'm not sure how much you were paid for the last interview, but- SONDRA: Uh, I wasn't paid. I thought people should know the truth with that woman lying on every talk show. As the camera pans round, Logan can be seen sitting on a stool at a raised table behind Sondra. VERONICA: So is there anything else you remember? The model of the van? Maybe a piece of the licence plate? SONDRA: Honestly, I was just so excited to see Lynn. I thought they were filming a movie or something. VERONICA: Have you ever seen Lynn Echolls before? SONDRA: Once. The premiere of "Delta Blue Bombers." She was on the red carpet with Aaron. I must have seen that movie a hundred times. VERONICA: A hundred times? SONDRA: I can check if you want. Sondra pulls out a scrapbook. It is full of pictures of Lynn and ticket stubs. She starts to count them. Veronica decides to move on. VERONICA: So the van. In the interview, you said the van was blue? SONDRA: It was the van from "The Pursuit of Happiness." The exact van. VERONICA: You mean the exact model? SONDRA: No, the actual van from the movie. Lynn and Aaron met on the set of "The Pursuit of Happiness," you know. They were so young then. Logan looks at the woman and smiles, understanding that she's a deluded fan and no witness to anything. SONDRA: I don't know why anyone could ever think she'd kill herself. Logan gets up and leaves. SONDRA: She is the luckiest woman in the world. VERONICA: Excuse me. Veronica leaves Sondra and follows Logan around a glass block partition towards the exit. The lyrics of Bloc Party's "Tulips" kick in. SONG: When you said tulips I knew that you're mine When I caught you there Crying in the night Wearing my jacket Wearing that smile I knew that I'd found you. Logan has paused, leaning on the partition, his back to Veronica. VERONICA: I would have done the same thing. He turns his head to look at her. LOGAN: Done what? VERONICA: If it was my mother, I would have let myself believe that story. Logan pushed himself off the glass blocks and blunders up the exit stairs, bumping into a girl standing on the stairs on one side and Weevil, coming down the stairs, on the other. WEEVIL: Hey, manners Opie! [To Veronica] What, did he lose a puka shell? VERONICA: No. Just the last ounce of hope that his mother was still alive. Weevil looks a little contrite. Cut to carrots being chopped. Keith is making dinner. Veronica enters the apartment. VERONICA: Is that lasagne I smell? KEITH: Keith Mars' secret recipe. VERONICA: You double the cheese. Your secret is out. You're making salad? I know pity cooking when I see it. There must be more bad news. KEITH: Maybe we should wait 'til after dinner, huh? VERONICA: Spill it. I promise I won't let it ruin my appetite. KEITH: Rooks was fired from his last job at a private school. His file is sealed, but the complaint came from the parents of two girls. Veronica takes this in but is still determined. VERONICA: I want to see Carrie's journal. KEITH: You know I can't let you. VERONICA: There better be dessert. Cut to Veronica at Mars Investigations, pacing in Keith's office.. VERONICA VOICEOVER: If I'm going to save Mr Rooks' job, I have to get my hands on this supposed diary. She tries to unlock the safe. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Unfortunately Dad's changed the combination. It's the rare individual who chooses meaningless numbers as a combination. He taught me that. Veronica searches the bulletin board over Keith's desk. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Nine times out of ten, an individual will select numbers that mean something - birthdays, anniversaries, addresses. Of course, dad is smarter than that. She turns her attention to the things on his desk. VERONICA VOICEOVER: You wouldn't believe the number of people who keep the combination written down on a post-it or tacked to a bulletin board or scribbled on a birthday page of their page-a-day calendar. Somehow, I doubt Dad's that careless. On the page-a-day calendar, she spots the entry for 10 February upon which is written: 12 1663. She smiles and heads for the safe. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Then again, he'll be glad to know how much I've soaked up listening to him. It opens. VERONICA VOICEOVER: And what do we have here? She pulls out a steel box. She brings it to his desk and opens it. It explodes, covering her skin and her clothes with blue dye. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I suspect there's also a lesson to be learned here. Cut to Veronica at home, frantically scrubbing at the kitchen. Her father comes up behind her. KEITH: Hey, honey. What have you been up to? VERONICA: [Barely restrained] Tell me where to put your father-of-the-year trophy 'cause there's some place I'd like to put it. KEITH: Wow. Good thing I didn't go with a bear trap. VERONICA: This is not funny. I need to see that diary. She's lying. I know it. I can feel it with every fibre of my being. KEITH: Honey, you don't have to get all blue in the face. VERONICA: You're patronising me? KEITH: [Enjoying himself] To be fair, I am your patron. VERONICA: The Bishops are going to use your credit card research and that diary to prove the two of them were together. Just give me the dates and times, I don't have to read the diary. Do you want to be responsible for taking a good man down? Destroying his reputation? Can you possibly relate? Keith's gesture suggests that this is a low blow but one he acknowledges. KEITH: Dates and times. That's it. Veronica holds up her hands (the gesture is obviously infectious) with an innocent face. Cut to Veronica leaving the school administration office. She pauses at the glass display cabinet, which is showcasing achievements, medals and trophies, spotting Carrie in one of the photographs. WEEVIL: [Offscreen] If you're looking for my trophy, it's back by auto shop. The camera pans round to show Weevil, watching her. VERONICA: A lube job? Or can you medal in stealing hubcaps? WEEVIL: Is this 1970? Rims, baby. VERONICA: So you got a trophy for a rim job? WEEVIL: [Chuckles] Forget it. Look, I got some information for you. VERONICA: [Girlie voice] Finally, a Deep Throat to call my own. WEEVIL: I'm not going to touch that one. Uh, I hear this freshman kid's been shooting his mouth off that he's got proof that Lynn Echolls jumped and he's gonna make millions. VERONICA: Who's the kid? WEEVIL: Do you want me to find out? VERONICA: Do you even have to ask? Cut to the end of another history lesson as the students are filing out. Veronica has lingered behind again. She approaches Rooks. VERONICA: Can I ask you something? MR ROOKS: Shoot. VERONICA: Why were you fired from your last job? MR ROOKS: How on earth do you know- VERONICA: I just do. MR ROOKS: Wow. Maybe I should give more credence to the teacher's lounge gossip. Colleagues said you were... Veronica looks at him expectantly. MR ROOKS: �unique. [Off her still expectant look] Gifted. [Trying again to satisfy her] Unsettling? VERONICA: I was hoping for delightful, but what can you do. They laugh. VERONICA: So... MR ROOKS: My firing, yeah, um. It was an all girls' school on the conservative side. I had the temerity to suggest U.S. Imperialism wasn't necessarily a good thing. They thought I was trying to turn their daughters into little beret-wearing, clove-smoking Bolsheviks. VERONICA: Were you? MR ROOKS: Nyet. VERONICA: That's it? MR ROOKS: Well, that, and I was driving an '89 Harley. Didn't really endear me to the administration. VERONICA: Thanks, Mr Rooks. MR ROOKS: Do svidaniya, Veronica. Cut to Carrie at her locker as Veronica corners her. VERONICA: I'm giving you another chance. Drop the complaint against Mr Rooks. CARRIE: Yeah. I remember when I was in love with him too. VERONICA: Did you ever consider that I just really dislike you? CARRIE: [Sarcastic] Wow! Does that mean you won't be signing my yearbook? Carrie walks off but Veronica isn't finished. VERONICA: You're still in Mr Rooks' class. You must not be too shook up. CARRIE: I need his class to graduate. They pause in the middle of the hallway. CARRIE: And he'll be the one leaving... soon. VERONICA: All this because he gave you a C on your paper? You'd destroy him? CARRIE: Destroy him? From where I stand, he's become more popular than ever. I'm the bitch that everyone hates. Are you interested in details, Veronica? Can I help enrich your fantasy life? He says baby a lot when he touches you. His sheets are black, silk. His mood music is side two of the Rolling Stones' "Tattoo You". He'll tear up as he tells you the story of his ex-wife leaving him. You'll turn to jelly. VERONICA: Yeah, I have that same "Sweet Valley High" book. You said you spent the night in a hotel with Mr Rooks on April 23rd but there's a problem with that story, isn't there? CARRIE: Why don't you tell me? It's obvious you're dying to. The school bell rings. VERONICA: All right. The problem with that story is that you were at an overnight track meet in Sacramento that weekend. You were part of the winning 1,600 metre relay. People say you're fast. Veronica stalks off and leaves Carrie, looking uncomfortable. Cut to Veronica, in a hospital-like gown and her jeans, sitting on an examination table, clutching it round her. Dr Levine enters. [SCENE_BREAK] DR LEVINE: Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm always busy at the end of the day. Ah, so those sniffles, they were just light allergies, not uncommon. VERONICA: So I can put my shirt back on? DR LEVINE: Uh, sure, yes, of course. Levine leaves. Cut to a fully dressed Veronica who makes her way to the reception area and slips into the bathroom without the receptionist seeing her. VERONICA VOICEOVER: One problem with doctors, besides their fetish for making you wait half-naked in cold rooms, is they won't just let you ransack their files, even if you ask real nice. So someone like me has to resort to methods the insurance companies would probably not support. Out in reception, Dr Levine leaves. DR LEVINE: Goodnight, Nancy. DOCTOR'S RECEPTIONIST: Goodnight. The receptionist turns off the lamp and picks up the keys. She hears something from the bathroom and goes to investigate. The door is locked. She knocks then opens it with a key. Finding nothing, she leaves. Veronica opens the cupboard under the sink from the inside. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Okay, yes, I am petite and it does come in handy every now and then. Cut to Veronica going through Dr Levine's files. She finds Duncan file. Cut to her completing photocopying of the file and putting the copies in her bag. As she puts Duncan's file back, she spots another file of interest - Abel Koontz's file. She takes it out. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I'm generally pretty cool with coincidence� Someone enters and Veronica races away, closing the file drawer. VERONICA VOICEOVER: �but when Abel Koontz turns out to share a doctor with the Kanes, that's too much for me to ignore, even if it means getting caught. The cleaner who arrived makes her way down a corridor and opens a door. She is startled. CLEANER: Wha-? Veronica is sitting back on the examination table, clothed in the gown in the place of her shirt again.. VERONICA: Is the doctor here? 'Cause I've been sitting for like an hour. Cut to the school board hearing. Veronica enters the room, taking a photo. MR ROOKS: This experience has ruined me. I mean the story's in the newspaper. My peers in the faculty lounge stop talking when I enter. The chairman of the proceedings, Jessica Fuller, sits in the middle of a tall curved desk up on a dais, other members of the board on either side of her including Edward Reed, Jean Horton and Pat Bryant. JESSICA: Mr Rooks, do you have any guess why Miss Bishop would file this grievance? In front of the board, tables are set in a courtroom fashion, with Carrie and her mother on one side and Rooks on the other. MR ROOKS: Carrie is a solid B student in my class. She made it very clear she needed an A. Rooks looks over at Carrie who shakes her head. MR ROOKS: But the-the work just didn't merit it. Cut to Carrie telling her story. CARRIE: My dad left my mom last year and� I was pretty lost. Mr Rooks started giving me rides home from our mock UN meetings and we'd just talk. He said that we had a lot in common, that we'd both been abandoned by people we thought loved us because of his wife. At first we just kissed, but... it went beyond that. When I told him I thought I might be pregnant, he just blew me off. When I saw him flirting with other girls, I just decided, I guess this is what he does. And I couldn't let him get away with it again. JESSICA: These are very serious charges, Carrie. Is there any proof you can offer beyond your testimony? Carrie looks back at Veronica and seems to abandon the diary. However, she pulls out a cell phone. CARRIE: He sent me text messages all the time. April 9th: Let's meet for tutoring. Clothing optional. April 14th: I miss your scent. Call me. April 29th: Come to school without your underwear. You'll be rewarded. Jessica gestures for Carrie to bring the phone to her. She does. JESSICA: They're addressed to SK. CARRIE: He used to call me Sweet Knees. He always wanted me to wear knee socks. JESSICA: I'm not sure we have proof that Mr Rooks actually sent you these messages. CARRIE: Hit the call-back button there. She does and Rooks' phone rings. Veronica gets up and quietly approaches Clemmons who is sitting amongst the few spectators. VERONICA: Mr Clemmons, can I borrow your cell for a minute? My car broke down in the parking lot. He is suspicious, and reluctant, but hands over the phone. Cut to outside the room as Veronica punches the keypad. Cut back to the proceedings. JESSICA: Mr Clemmons, what can you tell us about your interaction with Mr Rooks that might be relevant? CLEMMONS: Well, he's a very popular teacher. Veronica creeps up to Rooks and whispers in his ear. CLEMMONS: The student body has voted him best teacher three of the four years he's been with us. JESSICA: Thank you, Mr Clemmons. As Clemmons returns to his seat, Veronica hands him his phone. MR ROOKS: Um, Mrs Fuller, if I may? Could I ask you to get out your own cell phone and, uh, check the messages? Jessica looks at her fellow board members. PAT BRYANT: It's all right with me. She gets out her phone. Rooks looks back at Veronica who gives him an encouraging nod. MR ROOKS: Now, just check and see if you have messages. JESSICA: I have three new messages. MR ROOKS: Can you read 'em out loud? JESSICA: The first one says: True pirates share their booty. The second: I'll be your little spoon. And finally: Vice principals make the best lovers. Veronica nods her satisfaction as Clemmons sinks in his seat. MR ROOKS: Mind hitting redial? Clemmons phone rings. He pulls it out of his jacket pocket and switches it off. MR ROOKS: I think we have to conclude that either the two of you are having an affair... or that it's extremely easy to create false text messages on someone's cell phone. The board gazes at him. Veronica is well pleased. Cut to later as the board resumes their seats. JESSICA: In a situation like we have here today, the burden of proof is on the accuser. We find no conclusive evidence to substantiate the claim that these alleged encounters ever happened. Mr Rooks will continue on as a teacher at this school. Carrie is gutted but seems philosophical. Rooks looks back at a contented Veronica. Cut to Rooks opening his front door, chewing. It's Veronica. MR ROOKS: You didn't have to come all the way over here. VERONICA: I know but I felt really stupid getting out of there with your phone. Sorry. She hands him a cell phone. He takes it. MR ROOKS: Well, I appreciate you hooking me up with password protection. VERONICA: That's what I do. MR ROOKS: Hey, you want some pizza? It just got delivered. They had a two-for-one deal. I'm swimming in it. VERONICA: Um... one slice. I have this newspaper work night thing. She enters and looks around. VERONICA: Nice. You must have a gay friend. MR ROOKS: No, I literally duplicated a page from the "Z Gallery" catalogue. Something to drink? VERONICA: Ah, whatever you're having. Diet anything is good. Can I use your bathroom? MR ROOKS: Sure, down the hall. Veronica heads up a small corridor, slowing to look at pictures of Olivia on the walls. Music starts playing as he passes his open bedroom door. The sheets on the bed are black. The lyrics kick in. SONG: Sometime I wonder why VERONICA VOICEOVER: Is that Mick Jagger? It's the Rolling Stones with "Worried About You" off the "Tattoo You" album. SONG: You do these things to me Sometime I worry girl, ooh Veronica turns on her heel and heads back to Rooks. VERONICA: You know, I just looked at the time. I have to get back to the journalism room. Rain check on the pizza? MR ROOKS: Absolutely. VERONICA: See you tomorrow. Veronica leaves. Cut to the journalism room where Veronica is at one of the computers. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Best way to stop wondering if your favourite teacher was trying to lure you between his black silk sheets? Research the mystery condition that's causing your ex-boyfriend and possible half brother to take Oxcarbazepine. She uses "PlanetZowie" Search Engine and types in the drug. A Google-like page comes up with a number of entries, showing it as an anticonvulsant for seizures and epilepsy. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Hmm, it's a drug used to treat type IV epilepsy. Symptoms include hysterical, violent, emotional fits that can't be controlled and are often are accompanied by complete blackouts and loss of memory. Unnoticed by Veronica, Duncan approaches. DUNCAN: Whatcha doing? Veronica hurriedly clicks a couple of times on the mouse. VERONICA: Googling myself. Like I'm the first. DUNCAN: [Crouching down next to her] Find out anything interesting? VERONICA: There's a Veronica Mars in Vermont who sells pinecone porcupines. Duncan laughs. He glances at the papers at the side of her, the first of which is a large photo of Carrie. He picks it up, revealing that underneath is the photocopy of his medical file. Veronica grabs something and covers this while Duncan looks at the photo. VERONICA: Do you know where we keep last year's newspapers? DUNCAN: In the supply cabinet. Why? VERONICA: I want to see who won last year's District Extemporaneous Speaking Competition. DUNCAN: Okay... why? VERONICA: I want to know if the winner had sweet knees. Duncan laughs. DUNCAN: I give up. Duncan stand and wanders away. Cut to Veronica in the hall, on her cell. OPERATOR: What city? VERONICA: Neptune. I need a listing for the Knight family. OPERATOR: Ninth street? VERONICA: Is there more than one? OPERATOR: No, there's not. VERONICA: Then that would be it. OPERATOR: Please hold for your number. Cut to Veronica approaching a door. She rings the bell. Susan Knight answers. SUSAN: Veronica Mars? VERONICA: Carrie's story is true, isn't it? It just didn't happen to her. She copied your diary, and it was your cell phone she showed in court. You got together with Rooks the night you won the Extemporaneous Speaking Competition? SK was you, Susan Knight. Susan steps out from behind the screen door. She is obviously pregnant. SUSAN: My parents disowned me. I wouldn't tell them who the father is because I knew if I did, they would press charges for statutory rape and I don't-I don't want that. VERONICA: There's something I'm not getting. Why would Carrie tell your story? SUSAN: Because she thought what he did was wrong. Do you know when I told Mr Rooks I was pregnant; he gave me $500 and told me I should go take care of it? It made her crazy there were no consequences for what he did and meanwhile, I had to run out of town in shame? Look, it made me crazy too, but... I can't come forward. I'm just not that brave. VERONICA: You have no idea. People have put her through hell, and she just took it. SUSAN: [Confused] She said most people were supportive of her. VERONICA: They weren't�we weren't. [Getting out her phone] Carrie just went to the mat for you. [She punches in a number] One phone call and you can make it all worth it. I just happen to have the school board president's cell phone number. Veronica passes the phone to Susan. Susan takes it and looks at Veronica. Cut to Neptune High. Carrie is again sitting alone, eating her lunch. Veronica approaches. VERONICA: I went to see Susan. I'm sorry. CARRIE: A lot of good that does me now. Weevil calls out to her, accompanied by a younger student. WEEVIL: Yo, V. You might want to talk to this freshman. He's the one who's been shooting his mouth off about Logan's mom. VERONICA: Hope you don't mind telling that story one more time. Cut to Logan entering a classroom. LOGAN: Hey. You paged? He joins Weevil, the freshman and Veronica at a table where Veronica is sitting in front of a computer. VERONICA: It seems Hart here has something to show us. Spill. HART: Me and my friends were filming out by the bay. We were making this war movie, "Storm on the Beach." It's just on high def, but it's pretty cool. It's these two brothers who get sent to war and- VERONICA: Don't care. Point? VERONICA: We were editing it together, and we noticed something. Hart puts a disk into the computer. The sounds of machinegun fire come from the screen. VIDEO #1: Over there! Over there! VIDEO #2: I see him! Oh! Ugh! Guys dressed in combat gear are playing soldiers. The Coronado Bridge si in the background in the distance where something can be seen moving. HART: Did you see it? LOGAN: Yeah, it sucks, and? VERONICA: Rewind it. Play it frame by frame. He does. HART: There! Check out the right side of the bridge. What is appears to be a body is clearly seen falling from the bridge. WEEVIL: Holy... Logan is in shock. Veronica shuts her eyes. HART: The video's time stamped 4:37 P.M. Exactly the time when... [looking over at Logan] she supposedly jumped. VERONICA: This footage better never make it out into public consumption. WEEVIL: Don't worry about my boy, Hart. [Hand on Hart's neck, close in his face] He knows if that happens his last movie will be a snuff film. And he'll star in it, right? Come on. Weevil throws Logan a sympathetic glance as he and Hart exit. Logan takes a few paces, eyes fixed on the screen. VERONICA: I'm sorry. LOGAN: [Softly] Yeah, so am I. Veronica drops her head. Logan turns and walks slowly out of the room, stumbling as he does. Veronica's cell phone rings. She gets it out of her bag and looks at the display. VERONICA: Logan! She jumps out of the chair. Cut to the outside of the school. Logan is walking in a daze. VERONICA: Logan! Logan. [Reaching him] Your mom's missing credit card was just used. Logan takes a minute to believe it then regains hope. Cut to the history classroom as the students wait for their teacher. Clemmons enters. CLEMMONS: Quiet down. Quiet down, please. I have an announcement to make. I regret to inform you that Mr Rooks tendered his resignation this morning. I will be taking over the teaching duties in this class until a replacement can be found by the administrat- Clemmons pauses as Rooks enters the room, walks to his desk and picks up a box of his things. On his way out, he glances at Carrie and Veronica but gets no mercy. He walks on and Carrie and Veronica look at each other, Carrie smiling and barely nodding at Veronica. Cut to Veronica at Mars Investigations, packing up her bag at her desk. Keith walks towards her. VERONICA: Mr Rooks resigned today. KEITH: Honey? If I were in trouble, I'd want you on my side. VERONICA: Well, that's where I'd be. I'll be home for dinner. Your messages are on your desk. Veronica leaves, Keith gazing after her. Cut to the prison where Koontz is sitting behind the visitors glass, waiting for Veronica to sit down and pick up the phone, which she does. KOONTZ: So. What would you like to know now, Veronica Mars, intrepid girl reporter? VERONICA: Nothing. This time I just want you to know what I know. She holds up his medical records. VERONICA: You're dying, Abel. Abel loses his smirk. You knew you were dying when you confessed. You didn't kill Lilly Kane. You're just somebody's patsy. Veronica hangs up the phone, staring defiantly at him. VERONICA: Guard! Veronica goes, leaving Koontz stunned and worried. End.	Plan: A: When 09er gossip queen Carrie Bishop; Q: When did Veronica set out to prove Mr. Rooks' innocence? A: Carrie Bishop; Q: Who claims to have had an affair with Mr. Rooks? A: Veronica's favorite teacher; Q: Who is Mr. Rooks? A: Veronica; Q: Who sets out to prove Mr. Rooks innocence? A: Mr. Rooks' guilt; Q: What is Keith hired to prove? A: a video; Q: What does Veronica find that shows Lynn plunging into the river from the bridge? A: Abel Koontz; Q: Who is terminally ill? Summary: When 09er gossip queen Carrie Bishop claims she had an affair with Mr. Rooks, Veronica's favorite teacher, Veronica sets out to prove his innocence. Keith, however, has been hired to prove Mr. Rooks' guilt. Veronica finds a video that shows Lynn plunging into the river from the bridge, and learns that Abel Koontz is terminally ill.
TERMINUS BY: STEPHEN GALLAGHER Part Four First Air Date: 23 February 1983 Running time: 24:49 [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: We must stop the sequence. KARI: Do you know how? DOCTOR: Not yet. KARI: What, then? [SCENE_BREAK] VALGARD: Where are the others? OLVIR: What? VALGARD: Spies! OLVIR: Oh, no. Nyssa! [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Are you all right? TURLOUGH: I think so. TEGAN: What happened? TURLOUGH: I don't know. TURLOUGH: Look! TEGAN: We must make it materialise fully. TURLOUGH: It won't move. TEGAN: Let me help. It's not going to defeat us now. [SCENE_BREAK] VALGARD: I wouldn't. The radiation'll kill you. Get much closer and you're dead, unless you can get to a decontamination unit. OLVIR: You're lying. VALGARD: Please yourself, then, but in my day we were better trained. OLVIR: What? VALGARD: You're not from the Company. You're combat trained. Colonel Pereira, was it? The one they call the Chief? OLVIR: How do you know? VALGARD: Recognise the moves. Taught the same ones to me. I was with him for five tours, till he turned me in for the reward. OLVIR: And how did you get here? VALGARD: Slave labour. That's how Terminus works. You couldn't pay anyone enough to work here. OLVIR: Where are the guards? VALGARD: Don't need them. If we don't work, we don't get the Hydromel we need to stay alive. Help me, please. Oh, come on. Look at me. I'm a danger to no one. I'm finished. I'm dying. OLVIR: Where did that thing take Nyssa? VALGARD: Nyssa? Oh, is that her name? I've no idea. This is my first time in the Zone. OLVIR: Will he harm her? VALGARD: No. He's curing her. That's what he's here for. OLVIR: How can that thing cure anyone? VALGARD: Help me. I'll show you. OLVIR: I'll find her myself. VALGARD: Don't leave me. [SCENE_BREAK] KARI: Why won't it move? DOCTOR: It's controlled by the computer, and the computer's uncontrollable. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: I don't think I've got any skin left on my hands. TANNOY: Primary ignition is now beginning. All systems running on test. Departure sequence is beginning now. TEGAN: What's happening? TURLOUGH: The liner's preparing to move. TEGAN: No, wait! You can't leave yet! TANNOY: All drones to designated assembly points. Countdown to secondary ignition follows. TEGAN: No! TURLOUGH: The ship's on automatic, Tegan. There's nothing you can do. TEGAN: I've got to try. [SCENE_BREAK] TANNOY: Departure sequence is now underway. Countdown to docking disengagement now beginning. TANNOY: Preparing to blow clamps and withdraw all lines. TEGAN: Can anyone hear me? TANNOY: Countdown to primary burn is now underway. TEGAN: You must stop! TANNOY: Countdown to primary burn is now underway. TANNOY: Test mode on all systems is now disengaged. TANNOY: All systems operating within permitted tolerances. TEGAN: Shut up! TANNOY: Emergency, emergency. Launch abort. Launch abort. TEGAN: I don't believe it. TANNOY: Launch abort. [SCENE_BREAK] TANNOY: Launch abort. Launch abort. [SCENE_BREAK] KARI: How can this ship still be operational after all this time? DOCTOR: The technology here is phenomenal, unfortunately. There must be a way to reset that handle. KARI: He must have had the strength of a giant. DOCTOR: A giant. KARI: Of course. DOCTOR: The Garm. KARI: But will there still be enough time? DOCTOR: Well, we can only hope there is. [SCENE_BREAK] GUARDIAN (on scanner): The Doctor still lives. TURLOUGH: He's trapped. He's powerless, probably dead already. GUARDIAN (on scanner): You represent a poor investment of my time and energy, and for such an investment there is only one course to follow. [SCENE_BREAK] OLVIR: I'm unarmed. Can you understand me? GARM: Perfectly. OLVIR: Why are you doing this? You're torturing people. GARM: I draw the disease from them. All would die but most survive. OLVIR: And the last one you treated, Nyssa, did she survive? GARM: She is recovering. OLVIR: Where? GARM: Follow me. [SCENE_BREAK] BOR: If only I could remember. SIGURD: Try to relax. BOR: It doesn't matter. In a couple of hours there won't even be a Terminus or a Company or anything. I found some information in a computer. SIGURD: What's going to happen? BOR: That's the trouble. I can't remember. SIGURD: But Bor, you must. BOR: Short term memory is always the first to go. SIGURD: Look, I'll get some Hydromel. There's a case of it through there. BOR: Eirak won't release any. SIGURD: Who said I was going to ask him? BOR: It really isn't worth the trouble, you know. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: You ready? KARI: Call him. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Turlough? Turlough? [SCENE_BREAK] KARI: He's coming. What do we do now? DOCTOR: Let's just get into the control room. I'll do the rest. KARI: And if he won't cooperate? DOCTOR: We'll humour him. Right, let's go. KARI: It's not working. GARM: Deception is unnecessary. You have given the signal, I must obey. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: Olvir! OLVIR: Nyssa! You came through the cure. NYSSA: Just about. OLVIR: What happened? NYSSA: I was simply exposed to a massive dose of radiation. There's no proper diagnosis, no control, and this is supposed to be someone's idea of decontamination. OLVIR: Well, let's go. The sooner we can put Terminus behind us NYSSA: You don't understand. There must be thousands of people who've passed through here and think they're cured. It's all just hit and miss. No one cares. OLVIR: Let's go, Nyssa. NYSSA: Listen to me. The cure works, but it needs to be controlled, otherwise you just trade one killer for another. Radiation induced diseases that may take years to show. OLVIR: Let's just concentrate on getting away, shall we? NYSSA: It could all be changed. OLVIR: I've no doubt you're right, but we can argue your case later. Now come on, quickly. [SCENE_BREAK] EIRAK: Who took it? Who took the signal box? Someone will suffer for this. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: You understand what we need you to do? DOCTOR: I'd appreciate it if you'd hurry. GARM: Is this necessary? DOCTOR: If you can return the lever, I can disconnect the computer controlling it. GARM: And if I fail? DOCTOR: It's the end of the universe. [SCENE_BREAK] BOR: Beginning of the end, boys. [SCENE_BREAK] KARI: Nothing's happening. DOCTOR: It must. You must push harder. It's the only way. KARI: Please. KARI: It's working! DOCTOR: That's it! GARM: Have I served you well? DOCTOR: Indeed you have. GARM: Do something for me. Destroy the box. Set me free. DOCTOR: Rest. You've earned it. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] KARI: What now? DOCTOR: Disconnect the control lines to the engines. DOCTOR: Look, whoever you are, we haven't got time for VALGARD: Silence. Move. DOCTOR: You're taking a very narrow view of all this. NYSSA: It's the Doctor. VALGARD: I want to stay alive. If that's a narrow view, then you're right. DOCTOR: You're quite happy to see things go on as they are. VALGARD: Happy? This is Terminus. No one's happy here. Staying alive is all that counts. DOCTOR: Things could change. NYSSA: Over here! OLVIR: Here! KARI: Freeze! DOCTOR: Nyssa, I've been so worried. NYSSA: I'm fine. Doctor, I've made a fantastic discovery. The cure for Lazar disease works. DOCTOR: How do you know? NYSSA: Because I've been cured myself. OLVIR: It seems I was wrong. NYSSA: The system is far from safe. DOCTOR: Well, you think it could be? NYSSA: With the Garm's help, yes. It's only his lack of free will which has prevented him from doing anything about it. DOCTOR: Well, he has it now. VALGARD: She's sick. She doesn't know what she's talking about. NYSSA: With changes, Terminus could work, become a proper hospital. VALGARD: The Company isn't interested. NYSSA: Are you, though? And the other Vanir? VALGARD: Even if we were, it's not possible without Hydromel, and it's the Company who control that. NYSSA: But if you had an endless supply of it, you'd be free of their control, wouldn't you? [SCENE_BREAK] BOR: Am I dead yet? SIGURD: No. BOR: Oh, funny, I could have sworn that. But still, it's a relief. I am hoping for something rather better on the other side. Sigurd SIGURD: Try to sleep. BOR: Sleep? It's all I can do to keep awake for more than a minute. SIGURD: Valgard! VALGARD: Shush. I've got some people with me. SIGURD: What's going on? VALGARD: Come in. DOCTOR: Where is it? VALGARD: Here. SIGURD: Now wait a minute. VALGARD: They say they can free us from the Company. SIGURD: You believe that? VALGARD: You know anybody harder to convince? DOCTOR: It's locked. Olvir, may I borrow your laser? SIGURD: Now if this is just some madcap scheme for getting back at Eirak, then you've got another thing coming. VALGARD: Wait. DOCTOR: You're the expert, what do you think? DOCTOR: Look, er, while we're sorting things out here, perhaps you'd be so good as to cut the control lines to the engines. I'd hate anyone to start the sequence manually. KARI: Of course. Come on. NYSSA: It's crude stuff, probably organic. DOCTOR: Think you can synthesise it? NYSSA: I might even improve on it. SIGURD: Well, how's this supposed to free us from the Company? NYSSA: Terminus Incorporated only control you because they supply you with Hydromel, but if you produced your own VALGARD: Here on Terminus. SIGURD: Is it possible? NYSSA: Of course. SIGURD: But the Company would send troops. They'd destroy us. NYSSA: With the current reputation Lazar disease has, would any sane soldier come here? VALGARD: Of course they wouldn't. SIGURD: I suppose not. NYSSA: Then help. SIGURD: All right. Why not? BOR: Oh, Sigurd. SIGURD: I'm with you. [SCENE_BREAK] OLVIR: Are you sure these are the right cables? KARI: According to the Doctor. OLVIR: It's what you said about this ship. I'd hate to end the universe by mistake. KARI: Give me the gun. OLVIR: No, no, I'll, I'll do it. Just wanted to be certain. [SCENE_BREAK] EIRAK: I want it found. Without the signal box we've got no control over the Garm. VALGARD: Pleased to see me? I want you to meet some people. DOCTOR: How do you do? I'm the Doctor, and this is Nyssa. EIRAK: All right, Valgard, what do you think you're doing? VALGARD: I think you owe me something. SIGURD: A small matter of your position here. VALGARD: If I bring back the intruders, your position is mine, remember? There he is. BOR: We all think it's time for a little chat. DOCTOR: Yes, well, before you start, perhaps one of you could show us the way to the damaged engine. There's still a great deal to be done. [SCENE_BREAK] KARI: Terminus will never move again. OLVIR: Have you given any thought as to how we're going to get home? KARI: I'm about to. DOCTOR: It'll be good to see the TARDIS again. NYSSA: And Tegan. DOCTOR: Yes, well, it'll be nice to know she's safe. Tegan! TEGAN: Doctor. DOCTOR: What are you doing? TEGAN: I was trying to reach you. Turlough went back to the TARDIS on his own. DOCTOR: I told you not to follow me. NYSSA: Doctor, say you're pleased to see her. DOCTOR: Yes, well, I'm pleased to see her but she shouldn't have followed us. TEGAN: You don't understand. DOCTOR: Yes, well, we'll talk about it later. Valgard? TEGAN: Why does he never listen? NYSSA: He has a great deal to do. TEGAN: There always is. NYSSA: Tegan, I have to tell you something. DOCTOR: Now it's important you inform the authorities about what's been going on here. Make it impossible for Terminus Incorporated to retaliate. For example, you must make contact with the pick-up ship. VALGARD: What ship? DOCTOR: The one that takes the cured Lazars away. Well, the Garm will know all about it. VALGARD: We no longer have any control over him. DOCTOR: Then speak to him, win his confidence. You'll find him very agreeable. TEGAN: Doctor? Doctor, talk to Nyssa. DOCTOR: What is it? NYSSA: I'm not coming with you. DOCTOR: What? NYSSA: There's too much to be done here. TEGAN: Tell her she must. DOCTOR: Well, you can't stay. It isn't safe. Certainly not until the Vanir have sorted out how they're to run Terminus. NYSSA: And with my skills, I can help them. TEGAN: We need you, too. NYSSA: I've enjoyed every moment of my time on the TARDIS, and I'll miss you both, but here I have a chance to put into practice the skills I learnt on Traken. TEGAN: Please, Nyssa. NYSSA: I'm adamant. Please, let us part in good faith. DOCTOR: You do fully understand the commitment you'll be undertaking? NYSSA: Yes. DOCTOR: And that life here will be very hard. NYSSA: I am fully aware of that, but I want to stay. DOCTOR: Then you're a very brave person. I wish you every luck. TEGAN: She'll die here. NYSSA: Not easily, Tegan. Like you, I'm indestructible. [SCENE_BREAK] GUARDIAN (on scanner): Turlough. Can you hear me? TURLOUGH: What? GUARDIAN (on scanner): The Doctor is returning. TURLOUGH: I feel ill. GUARDIAN (on scanner): This is your last chance, boy. TURLOUGH: What did you do to me? GUARDIAN (on scanner): You will recover. TURLOUGH: I can't go on. Kill the Doctor yourself. Blame me for it, I don't care. I can't do it. GUARDIAN (on scanner): You have little choice. DOCTOR (OOV.): Turlough? Turlough! GUARDIAN (on scanner): He's coming, boy. This is your last chance. I shall not say that again. Kill the Doctor!	Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who discovers that the pilot dumped the ships fuel billions of years ago? A: another automatic fuel dump sequence; Q: What is the ship going into because of the damaged engine? A: the destruction; Q: What will happen to the universe if the fuel is dumped into space again? A: Nyssa; Q: Who makes a decision that affects everyone? Summary: The Doctor discovers that the pilot had dumped the ships fuel billions of years ago and that the ship is going into another automatic fuel dump sequence because of the damaged engine. He determines that if the fuel gets dumped into space again, it will cause the destruction of the universe. Nyssa makes a decision that affects everyone.
[Skyline: An orange sun rises over the city, and as it does, it becomes a Jack-O-Lantern. This season's color for the "Frasier" title is happily appropriate for this episode!] ACT 1 [Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment. Daphne enters from the kitchen. Frasier enters, wearing his Halloween costume. He has gray hair, a gray beard, and is wearing a nineteenth-century suit. Clearly he is meant to be Sigmund Freud.] Daphne: Wow, look at you! You look just...[at a loss] like him. Frasier: Oh, Daphne, come on! [indicating costume] Huh? The theme this evening is to come dressed as your hero. [He places a cigar in his mouth.] Daphne: [guessing] Fidel Castro! Frasier: [irritated] Sigmund Freud! [Daphne picks up a bowl of candy.] Daphne, don't you think that bowl is a little bit small for a whole night of trick-or-treaters? Daphne: Oh, I don't think so. The children in the building are too scared to ring our bell. Frasier: Why is that? Daphne: They're afraid of "Old Man Crane." Frasier: [chuckling] Poor Dad. Daphne: It's not him, Dr. Crane, it's you. Frasier: [taken aback] What?! I'm Old Man Crane? Good Lord, I have tousled every young head in this building from the laundry room to the rooftop. Daphne: Yeah, apparently that's how it started. They think you're feeling to see if their brains are ripe. Frasier: How do you know all this? Daphne: They have a whole rhyme about you. [singing] "Old Man Crane, Old Man Crane, Make him mad and he'll eat your brain." Frasier: That's absurd. How do children get such crazy ideas? [Cut to the hall outside the apartment. Six costumed children are loudly chasing each other with toy ray guns. Martin and Eddie emerge from the elevator.] Martin: Whoa! Hey, hey, keep it down, will 'ya? Boy: We're just playing. Martin: I know, but...you know how "Old Man Crane" gets. Especially on Halloween, or as he calls it, "Harvest Time." [The children run screaming down the hall. Martin chuckles. Fade Out.] It's Flu and Party Season [Scene 2 - Frasier's apartment. Martin enters, dressed in a New York Yankees uniform and carrying a bat. Frasier is seated at the table, preparing his Halloween game.] Martin: [indicating costume and smiling broadly] Fras...? Frasier: [at a loss] Hello...baseball man. Martin: Oh, come on! Joe DiMaggio [he turns to reveal the number 5]. You know who he is, don't you? Frasier: Well, of course. Joe DiMaggio was married to Marilyn Monroe... who was also married to Arthur Miller, the playwright who wrote Death of a Salesman, The Crucible, A View From the Bridge... you see, Dad, I know a lot more about baseball than you think. Martin: How does this party game of yours work? Is it like Charades? 'Cause I don't like Charades. Frasier: Oh no, no Dad. It's actually much better. You see, I've devised some questions that we will answer as our heroes. What better way to learn about each other than to explore the personalities of those who most inspire us, huh? [chuckles] Martin: Couldn't we just play Charades? [Frasier moves to the coffee table with the game questions in a bowl. Martin moves to his chair.] Frasier: You know, if this evening goes really well, I may consider marketing my little invention. It's a welcome change from those tiresome theme parties where someone gets murdered. Martin: [drily] It could still happen. [Phone rings. Frasier answers.] Frasier: Hello? Gil. Good heavens, shouldn't you be on your way by now?...Well, yes, of course we'll be playing my little game. Oh. You don't sound sick...Oh, now I hear it. Oh, all right, feel better [hangs up]. Martin: Isn't that like your eighth cancellation? Frasier: Yes. There must be something going around at the office. [The doorbell rings. Frasier opens it to reveal Roz and Alice, who is dressed as a puppy.] Frasier: Hi! Roz: [noticing Martin] Hey, it's Joe DiMaggio! Martin: [tipping his cap] Ma'am. Frasier: I see you've brought a little puppy. Roz: Yes, we've been trick-or-treating all afternoon and she's exhausted. Frasier: That's strange. The children in our building haven't even started trick-or-treating. Roz: Are you kidding? I just rode up the elevator with five Britney Spears and a sweaty Harry Potter. I'm going to go put her down in your room. Can I change there? Frasier: Well, as you know, Roz [assuming an Austro-German accent], change can only occur after years of hard work und analysis. [He places the cigar in his mouth.] Roz: [to Martin] It's going to be a hell of a party. Martin: Yeah. [Daphne enters, wearing very loud blue pants and jacket, which are covered with silver musical eighth notes. Her shirt is yellow with a huge collar, and she is wearing a bowler hat in the same loud shade of blue over a wig with large sideburns. Last, but not least, she sports a pair of glasses with very large, thick frames.] Martin: What the heck are you supposed to be? Daphne: [delighted] Reginald Dwight. You might know me as Sir Elton John. Frasier: Daphne, I must say, I hardly think of Elton John as an heroic figure. Daphne: [defensive] Yes, he is! He's been a great musician for over thirty years. There's also his charity work and his knighthood! Frasier: Well, I must say I never thought about it that way, which is exactly the point of this evening. Thank you for putting so much thought into your costume rather than just throwing on something frivolous. [Daphne is pleased at having vindicated her costume. At this point, Roz enters in a complete Wonder Woman costume with full black wig.] Roz: Ta-Da! [She twirls her cape, poses proudly, and smiles broadly.] Martin: Wow, Roz, you look great! Frasier: [annoyed] Oh, Roz, are you serious? Roz: [taken aback] What? Frasier: Your hero is Wonder Woman? You're supposed to come dressed as the person you most admire, whom you most wish to emulate. I'm not even sure you can do that to the flag! Roz: [clearly hurt] I'm sorry. When you said "hero" I thought you meant "superhero." Frasier: Yes, and when you saw me dressed in a beard with a cigar, what "superhero" did you think I was, hmm? Roz: That butler who cooked for Batman? Daphne: Speaking of which, would you help me bring out some cheese, Wonder Woman? Roz: [in her "heroic" pose] I'd be glad to, Elton John! [The phone rings. Frasier answers.] Frasier: Hello? Kenny...Gosh, don't you think you should have left by now?...Well, actually, you know, there have been a few cancellations, so that will allow us to delve even deeper into our psyches... [Martin looks concerned, knowing what is about to happen.] Really, what kind of sick?...[credulous] Oh, gosh, that sounds horrible...Yes, all right, well, um, take care [hangs up]. You know, we might be wise to take some echinacea. [The doorbell rings. Frasier answers to reveal Niles, who is clearly dressed as his father. He wears a gray wig, a flannel shirt, khaki pants with a belt, and he carries a cane and a stuffed Jack Russell terrier.] Niles: [imitating Martin] Somebody get me a beer! [Martin is delighted. Frasier is not.] Frasier: Niles! What in the world? Niles: Well, you said dress as your hero. Hello, Dad! [Martin rises and moves toward Niles.] Martin: Holy Moly! Niles, this is unbelievable! Niles: You like it? Martin: Oh, I love it! [embraces Niles] But Frasier said to dress as your hero, not as the handsomest man in the world! [They simultaneously execute the characteristic "Martin" laugh: a single "Ha!" followed by a backward-leaning gesture. They laugh hysterically and pat each other on the back. Frasier walks away, unamused.] Frasier: Niles, I thought you were going to come as Carl Jung! Niles: Well, I changed my mind! Frasier: But the idea of this evening is to come as a classic hero, someone who truly inspires you. No offense, Dad. You know, someone of truly unquestioned greatness! Again, no offense, Dad. Martin: [irritated] Blow it out your whistle. No offense. [Roz and Daphne enter from the kitchen. Roz carries a food plate, Daphne two filled wine glasses. Both are delighted with Niles's costume.] Daphne: Oh, my goodness! Roz: Ohh, isn't that the cutest thing? Niles: [to Daphne] What the heck are you supposed to be? Martin: That's exactly what I said! [Again, they simultaneously do the "Martin" laugh and lean backwards at the same time. Niles moves to embrace and kiss Daphne.] Frasier: Well, I guess we have a full complement. We may as well get on to the main event. Wonder Woman, Elton John, Martin Crane, Joe DiMaggio--I think you all know each other. Why don't you have a seat and we will proceed to a night of frivolity and enlightenment. [Niles and Martin both move to the barcalounger.] Niles: Oh, Joe, I insist you take my chair. Martin: Thanks, Marty! [Niles takes a chair from the table.] Frasier: All right, then, let's dive into the question bowl. Now remember, our job is to answer these questions as the people we honor tonight. Niles: Well, what if I'm someone who just wants to watch TV. Can I do that? [He reclines and places his feet on an ottoman.] Martin: Yeah, can he? Frasier: Very amusing. Oh, yes, yes, I took the liberty of jotting down a few reminders and regulations for your edification. [He begins to hand out sheets of paper.] Martin: [handing Niles a beer] Here you go, Marty! Niles: Oh, uh,... Frasier: Oh, Niles, you don't really have to drink that. Niles: Well, I'm already wearing black shoes with white socks. I may as well go all the way. [He sips the beer. Martin laughs.] Frasier: All right. Question number one. [taking a slip of paper from the bowl] The inaugural question in the first game ever of "Hero Worship." Copyright Frasier Crane, boilerplate, boilerplate. [reading from the paper] "As your hero, please share your reaction to the human genome project, not only as a scientific venture, but as a regulatory challenge to governments--foreign and domestic." Martin: No. Niles: Are you insane? [Roz and Daphne also express irritation.] Frasier: [putting the paper down] Oh, all right, all right. Maybe we'll just save that for the lightning round. [He takes another paper from the bowl.] Well...as your hero [reading] "describe the most significant relationship in your life." [They find this more agreeable.] Frasier: I'll tell you what. I'll go first. [assuming Austrian accent and posing as Freud.] So it is common for a parent to deeply impact the life of her child. Consider the exponential power that parent wields when she loves one of the children above the rest, singling him out as "My golden Sigi," and referring to him... [Niles and Martin simultaneously interrupt him with "Boring!" and begin to laugh hysterically. Frasier is unamused.] Roz: Really, Frasier, mother-Freud. We get it. Frasier: All right, very well. Now, in the first of many wrinkles, the game will proceed counterclockwise. Joe. Martin: Oh, all right. Well, even though I had a big family, I'd have to say that my most important relationship was probably with Marilyn Monroe...although I might have been married before that, I'm not sure. Daphne: [in a bad Elton John imitation] I wrote a song about Marilyn Monroe: "Candle in the Wind." [They all stare bemused at "Elton John."] Frasier: Yes, that's very good. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Wonder Woman, you're next. Roz: OK, my...greatest relationship was with my alter ego, who was a nurse in the army and her name was Diana Prince. Daphne: [same bad Elton John accent] Hey! I wrote a song about Princess Diana...and it was the same song I wrote about Marilyn Monroe! Roz: That's weird! Martin: Really weird! Niles: You would never think that two such disparate characters across half a century of time could be connected like that. Frasier: [very annoyed] That's because they're not connected! The song was written about Princess Diana, not Diana Prince! Daphne: Still, it's a pretty odd coincidence... Frasier: [cutting her off] It's not a coincidence at all! It's just two names that barely sound alike when one of them is pronounced in reverse order! Now, if we could just return to my game... Roz: It says right here that one of the objectives is "lively conversation." Martin: Which is what we're having. Frasier: I think I know what my game's objectives are, and they do not include this nascent migraine! All right, Martin Crane. Why don't you tell us about your most significant relationship. Niles: All righty. In 1952, I met a woman named Hester Palmer. And even thought she's been gone fourteen years, she was not only the greatest relationship in my life but also the greatest blessing. I miss her every day. Martin: [touched] You're a good boy, Niles. [Daphne and Roz share in the warm, sweet admiration of Niles's speech. Frasier does not.] Frasier: Niles, could I see you in the kitchen? [He walks to the kitchen alone.] Niles: Did Niles finally get here? Where is that boy genius? Frasier: It's okay! Dad, can I see you in the kitchen please? Niles: Why is he looking at me? I'm not Freud's "Dad." Frasier: [highly irritated] Martin Crane!! [Niles finally rises and heads to the kitchen, limping Martin-like on his cane.] Frasier: It doesn't take Freud to see what's going on here. Niles: What are you talking about? Frasier: Oh, your little ploy is working out brilliantly, isn't it? Not only have you stolen my thunder as host, you have also won the approval you so desperately crave from Dad. [Niles has taken another beer from the refrigerator.] Niles: This is not about craving approval. This is about honoring someone I respect and admire. The fact that you're threatened by it speaks volumes about your insecurity. [He begins to drink the beer. Frasier grabs him.] Frasier: Don't you turn this on me! I am perfectly comfortable in my relationship with Dad. Niles: Then you should be glad that he's having fun. It rarely happens at your parties...or mine. So why don't we both take pride in that and just be happy for him? Or, as Dad would say: "Shut your big bazoo and stop thinkin' so much!" [He does the "Martin" laugh and leans backwards, then exits the kitchen.] Daphne: Let's play "Scattergories!" Roz: Oh, do you have one of those murder mystery games? Frasier: [emerging from the kitchen] So that's it, then? The party's over? Martin: What are you talking about? We're just getting started. Frasier: You're not playing my game. This is chaos. We're just five people in costumes drinking. Martin: Amen! [handing Roz a camera] Here, Roz, would you take a picture of Marty Crane with his hero, Joe DiMaggio? [Martin and Niles pose near Martin's chair. Roz snaps the picture.] Martin: That'll make a great Christmas card. Frasier: [moving to the coat rack] Yeah, good idea, Dad. You've already ruined Halloween, why not ruin Christmas too? [He heads for the front door.] Niles: Oh, Frasier, come on, relax. We're just having fun. Hey, have a beer. It really takes the edge off. Roz: Yeah, don't be a spoilsport! Frasier: Spoilsport? I haven't spoiled anything. I'm not the bad guy here. [A group of costumed children is at the door as Frasier exits. They scream in horror and run away. Frasier leaves and the rest of them stand in the living room wondering what to make of his behavior. Fade out.] END OF ACT 1 [SCENE_BREAK] ACT 2 [Scene 3 - Elliot Bay Towers Lobby Four costumed kids are outside the elevator. Two are struggling over a bag of candy. The larger of the two wins. All of the kids except the one whose candy was stolen run off. Frasier emerges from the elevator. The kid, Justin, is wearing a cowboy costume and looks about ten years old.] Justin: Hey, that's mine! Frasier: Did that boy just steal your candy? Justin: Yeah. Frasier: Tell me his name. I'll go speak to his parents for you. Justin: His parents are my parents. He's my brother. [sits on a bench] Frasier: Ah, it isn't easy having a brother, is it? Justin: No. Frasier: They can be selfish and thoughtless. Justin: And butt-faces. Frasier: Butt-faces, yes. And butt-faces, too. [Joins Justin on the bench] But you know what might put things right? Justin: What? Frasier: The smallest pinch of fiberglass in his bed. It'll get under his skin. It'll itch for days with no clue how it got there. Have you seen those spare rolls of insulation they keep in the basement? Justin: That sounds pretty mean. Frasier: He stole your candy, didn't he? And embarassed you in front of your friends. Justin: I guess. But still he's not so bad. Frasier: Seemed pretty bad a moment ago. Justin: Well, he was just showing off. But most days he's all right. Frasier: Still, the man stole your candy. And ruined your much- anticipated evening. [Frasier is now clearly talking about himself.] Shouldn't there be repercussions? Justin: Are you okay? Frasier: Yes. I suppose I'm just having a bit of a temper tantrum, that's all. Justin: Yeah, I get those too. [Frasier chuckles.] Well, I'm going home. See you later. [He heads to the elevator.] Frasier: Yup, see you later. Say, you know, maybe I'll go home too. [He rises to join Justin at the elevator.] If your brother doesn't give back your candy, you can always come trick-or- treating at my apartment. I got bags of the stuff. You can have all you want. Justin: Really? Awesome! [They enter the elevator.] Frasier: Apartment 1901. Justin: [suddenly fearful] 1901? [The elevator door closes on his troubled face. Cut to interior of elevator.] You're the guy who eats brains. Frasier: Now, come on. If I really ate brains, children would be disappearing from the building all the time. You haven't noticed anything like that, have you? Justin: No. Frasier: That's because I don't eat brains. [musing] Not human brains, anyway. [Justin is startled.] A nice fresh order of calf's brains in a beurre noir sauce, now that would be...[seeing Justin's uneasiness] I don't eat brains. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene 4 - Frasier's apartment. Martin emerges from the kitchen to witness an amorous display between Niles and Daphne. Roz is also there.] Martin: All right, stop it. Niles: What? Martin: I don't want to watch myself make out with Elton John. [Frasier enters.] Frasier: Hello, all. All: Hello. Frasier: I would like to apologize for my petulant departure. I just want us all to enjoy ourselves this evening. And Niles, I never should have questioned your motives for this wonderful tribute. Niles: Thank you son. [He belches. He is drinking yet another beer and is clearly beginning to show the effects. We see that there are about six empty cans on the TV tray.] Daphne: It was our fault too, Dr. Crane. We really didn't give your game a chance. Martin: Yeah, let's give it another shot! [placing baseball cap on his head] Joltin' Joe wouldn't quit, and neither will I. Frasier: All right, Roz, since you misunderstood tonight's theme, tell you what, why don't you answer this question as your true hero, whomever that may be. Roz: Actually, I didn't misunderstand anything. You made so much fun of my costume, I got so embarassed, so I lied. Wonder Woman really is my hero. I mean, she's smart and beautiful, moral, and totally independent. Niles: [increasingly inebriated] And talk about hooters! Martin: [slightly irritated] Hey, I keep that to myself. Frasier: Roz, I never should have criticized you. I am terribly sorry. [to Daphne, who is handing him a wine glass] Thank you. Niles: Oh, Daphne, you didn't bring me a brewster. Martin: I think you've had enough. Niles: Oh, you can never have enough beer, Jodi. Martin: That's Joe D. Frasier: Niles, I believe that you're next. Niles: Huh? Frasier: Tell us about your hero's greatest disappointment. [Niles is now very drunk. Everybody becomes increasingly uneasy during his next speeches. He is now standing and leaning on the cane.] Niles: Oh, um, that I never got to take my kids to see Joe DiMaggio play. Martin: Oh, that's not your fault, Marty, I retired when they were infants. Niles: Guess it's not that important. My kids wouldn't know a baseball if it hit them in the face. In fact, that pretty much describes their one day in Little League. [imitating Martin's characteristic chuckle] No offense, Joe, my kids did not care about baseball. Hell, they didn't care about anything that was important to me. Martin: Hey, now that's not fair. Niles: No, no, no, no, no, I'm just saying that you and me, we're regular guys. You know, we know how to hang out with regular guys and shoot the breeze and, and, and knock a few back. But, uh, not my kids. No, they're too good for that stuff. [Frasier and Daphne have concerned looks on their faces.] They got all their fancy degrees, but they never learned how to be regular guys. [Martin looks very hurt and angry.] So I guess if I had to pick my two biggest disappointments... Martin: [angrily] You stop right there! [rises, confronting Niles] You will not put these words in my mouth. I was always proud of you boys, and I will not be portrayed as some drunken, judgmental jackass! [Martin leaves the room. Niles seems shocked at his own behavior and the reaction it has elicited.] Frasier: [grasping] That's why I didn't dress as you, Dad! Martin: [sincerely, while exiting] You're a good son, Frasier. Roz: I'll go round up Alice. [sarcastically] Another great party! [She exits.] Niles: I am so sorry. I, uh, I don't know what got into me! Daphne: [indicating the empty beer cans] I'd say about six of these. [She cleans them up and goes into the kitchen.] Niles: Everything was so perfect, and I just...blew it. I, I... feel terrible. Frasier: Niles, why don't you just go talk to him? Niles: [sadly] I'm sure I am the last person he wants to see right now. Frasier: Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that. He's not your hero for nothing. Niles: [agreeing] Right. Thank you, Frasier. Frasier: But maybe you should talk to him as Niles. Niles: Ah, good idea. [Daphne re-enters. Niles attempts to take off his wig, but it appears to be stuck.] Niles: Hey, uh, help me get this wig off. [He moves toward Frasier.] Frasier: Right. [He begins to pull off Niles's wig.] Niles: Ow! Frasier: I'm sorry. Niles: Ow! [slaps Frasier] Frasier: Ow! Niles: [louder] OW! [He fidgets and slaps Frasier again.] Frasier: Ow! Stop it! Niles: Ow! Ow! Frasier: All right! You put too much spirit gum on it. You know, I'm going to need something to pry it off. [Doorbell rings.] Daphne: I'll get it. [handing Frasier a ladel] Here, try this. Frasier: Oh, thanks, Daphne. All right now, come on, now, now hold still. Niles: Easy, Easy. Frasier: All right. [Frasier begins to use the ladel to pry off the wig. Daphne opens the door to reveal a group of kids, led by Justin, who has a bright and enthusiastic smile on his face.] Kids: Trick or Treat!! Daphne: Oh, how lovely! One moment. [Daphne moves away, and the kids witness the following while Frasier is prying at Niles's head with the ladel.] Niles: Wait, you're hurting me! Frasier: That's because you keep fighting me! [Niles screams in pain and collapses to the ground as the wig is finally removed. The kids, having thus seen "Old Man Crane" performing a painful "operation" on somebody's head, scream in terror and run away.] Frasier: [still holding the wig] No, children, come back! I've got candy!! [Frasier runs out the door after the children, leaving us the view of Niles holding his head in pain. Fade out.] END OF ACT 2 [SCENE_BREAK] Daphne and Frasier are cleaning up after the party. Daphne is using the vacuum while Frasier is taking dishes to the kitchen. Frasier has removed his beard, and Daphne her hat and glasses. Eddie is on the couch. Niles's stuffed "Eddie" is on the floor near Martin's chair, and the real Eddie is viewing it with deep mistrust. After Daphne and Frasier leave, Eddie mercilessly attacks the imposter, jumping on the floor and grabbing it in his mouth and then leaping upon Martin's chair.	Plan: A: Frasier; Q: Who is attending a Halloween fancy-dress party? A: Halloween; Q: What holiday is Frasier holding a fancy-dress party for? A: Sigmund Freud; Q: Who is Frasier dressed as for his Halloween party? A: their personal heroes; Q: What are the guests expected to arrive as for the Halloween party? A: Joe DiMaggio; Q: What is Martin dressed as? A: Elton John; Q: What celebrity is Daphne dressed as? A: Wonder Woman; Q: What superhero is Roz dressed as? A: a superhero theme party; Q: What did Roz think the party was? A: his father; Q: Who is Niles dressed as? A: the gesture; Q: What does Martin appreciate about Niles's costume? A: favour; Q: What does Niles want to curry with Martin? A: each player; Q: Who draws a slip of paper with a question or situation? A: their hero's response; Q: What must each player act out in character? A: drinking; Q: What does the party degenerate into? A: his thoroughly-planned game; Q: What does Frasier see fall apart at the party? A: "Old Man Crane; Q: What do the children of the building call Frasier? A: people's brains; Q: What do the children believe Frasier eats? Summary: Frasier is holding a Halloween fancy-dress party , which he is attending dressed as Sigmund Freud ; the theme is that the guests arrive dressed as their personal heroes . Martin is dressed as Joe DiMaggio , and Daphne as Elton John . Roz arrives dressed as Wonder Woman , claiming she thought it was a superhero theme party. Niles arrives last, dressed as his father. Martin is thrilled and touched by the gesture, but Frasier is aghast and feels that Niles is making a blatant attempt to show him up and curry favour with Martin. Frasier has devised a party game: in character as their hero, each player draws a slip of paper with a question or situation, and must act out their hero's response in character. Its appeal wanes fast, and the party degenerates into drinking. Frasier, seeing his thoroughly-planned game fall apart, angrily storms out. He then has to confront the children of the building, who call him "Old Man Crane" and believe that he eats people's brains.
Dwight: Good morning everybody. Who would like an authentic New York bagel? Hmmm? Stanley? Stanley: Thank you. [reaches for bagel] Dwight: No, no, no, no. I got a pumpernickel just for you. Andy: Wow. H & H. You went all the way to New York City to get us bagels? Dwight: Oh, why? Is there a place closer that sells them? Phyllis: This is really nice Dwight, thanks. Andy: Thanks. Dwight: Oh, don't mention it. You owe me one. You all owe me one. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Good morning Michael. Michael: Morning Dwight. Dwight: Hungry? Michael: No. I had a fish stick sandwich. Actually I had two fish stick sandwiches. My girlfriend didn't want hers. Because I guess I'm the only aphrodisiac she needs. Dwight: Fish sticks are not an aphrodisiac. Michael: Well, yeah... Dwight: You're thinking of deer pen1s. Michael: It worked. Dwight: Regardless. That was over two hours ago and it is now a scientific fact that you are hungry. [holds up tray] Bagel? Michael: I don't mind if I do. Dwight: K. I brought cheese too. Michael: I'm taking one for my lady friend. Dwight: Excellent. Michael: Brain food. Thank you very much. Dwight: Okay. [walks out of Michael's office] You owe me. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Geez. When did everyone get so cynical? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Pam, would you care for a bagel? Pam: Oh, no thank you. Dwight: That's right. You're a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I'll try again. Please Pam, reconsider and have a bagel. Pam: I have an early lunch. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Michael's been trying to get Jim and me to hang out ever since he started dating my mom. I don't know. I really hoped this thing would just die out, but today he's planning a birthday lunch for my mom and we have to go. No way out. No way out. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: These are amazing. You took all these? Ryan: I've always found beauty in uncommon places. Homeless people. Graffiti. Photography lets me capture all that. Have you ever been photographed before? Erin: Oh just by like friends. Ryan: Well here's what I've been doing around here. It's for a series on exposure in the workplace. Helene: [walks into the office] Whoohoo! Pammy? Pam: Hey! [gets up to greet Helene] Hey. Happy birthday. Helene: Thank you. [they hug] Michael: [comes over to hug them both] My girls. There they are. [Pam walks away] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Birthday lunch. Birthday lunch-- there is no better medicine than birthday lunch. It'll cure all of your "Gee I don't know if Michael should be dating my mother" and fixes all occurrences of "I don't really see them together". So, open wide Pam and take a big old spoonful of birthday lunch medicine. Take with food. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Pam, aren't you going to introduce us to Michael's girlfriend? Pam: I think you guys all remember my mom from the wedding. Michael: Yeah-- Kevin: Hi. Michael: I think everyone has meet Helene. Shall we? [SCENE_BREAK] Helene: Wait a minute. [looks at the bag in Michael's hand] Is that another birthday present for me cause you already gave me a necklace. Kelly: Oh my God I love it. [looks at camera and shakes head] Helene: Tell her how you gave it to me. Michael: No, that wouldn't be-- Helene: He put it around my neck while I was still asleep this morning. What a nice way to wake up. Michael: Yeah. The rest of the story has been censored due to-- inappropriosity. Kevin: Because of s*x? Michael: Hey-- Pam: Kevin! Michael: Please, Kevin. You're fired. [Kevin looks at Jim; Jim shakes his head] Sorry, sorry. Work with a bunch of idiots. Shall we go? Pam: Yes, let's go. [looks at Erin and nods] Erin: Oh, wait. Um-- Swartz Lumber is on the phone for you Pam and they say it's urgent. Pam: Oh, you guys. Just one second. [picks up phone] Oh my gosh! Are you serious? Shipping emergency. I don't think I can go to lunch. Jim: Oh man, that's crazy. Right as we were on our way out too. Pam: I know. Isn't that always how it goes? Jim: Rarely. If ever. Let me give it a whirl. I'll talk to them. Pam: I want to handle it. Jim: That's okay. Pam: I feel like its-- Jim: It's my pleasure. [takes phone from Pam] Hello? Well that's great. [hangs up phone] Turns out the paper was there all along. Creed: [sighs] Thank God. [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: Something's up. That paper was never supposed to arrive. [SCENE_BREAK] Helene: So, Pammy-- are you still liking sales? Pam: Yeah-- it's exciting. Helene: Well, you know-- Michael and I were-- talking, and maybe if you put a little more face to face time with your clients you could improve your sales. Jim: Pam's sales are fine actually. Michael: Just want you to succeed Pammy. You know what, we shouldn't even be talking about business today. Pam: Thank you. Michael: Today is about family. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Why did I get in the car? I could of struggled. I have a whistle in my purse I didn't even blow it. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Oh, Dwight. I have a little surprise for you. Dwight: Let me guess-- you ate the bagel I gave you and loved it. Andy: Yes! [they laugh] And I wanted to return the favor. I was polishing my loafers and I happened to look over and noticed that your brief case was a little worse for the wear, so a little elbow grease and she's polished right up, back up to her former glory. Dwight: Wow-- Andy: Feel it against your cheek. Dwight: I will. [Andy rubs the briefcase against Dwight's face] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: You give me a gift-- Bam! Thank you note. You invite me somewhere-- Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor-- Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Let me get that door for you-- [runs to open door] Andy: Whoa-- Dwight: There you go! Andy: Thank you very much. Now I've got it for you. [holds open door] Dwight: Oh... goodness... thanks. You know, here's a healthy fitness tip. If you clench your buttocks together while walking you can really take the pressure off your knees. Andy: Is that right? Dwight: Observe. [walks towards desk] Andy: Huh. [laughs; follows Dwight] Dwight: Right? Andy: That really works. Dwight: Yeah, feel free to use that. Anytime. Okay. Andy: Hey-- oh, hold on a second. Do not walk around with your jacket cattywampus. Dwight: [straightens Andy's tie] And that needs to be straight as an arrow. Andy: Whoa-- thank you very much. [takes off Dwight's glasses and blows on them] Oh boy. Dwight: Thank you very much for that. Andy: [puts Dwight's glasses back on Dwight's face] You are very welcome. Dwight: [pulls out Andy's chair] Have a seat. Allow me. Andy: [pulls out Dwight's chair] Have a seat yourself. Dwight: You know what? I am going to preemptively change the batteries in your wireless mouse. Andy: Not necessary. Dwight: No, no, no! [takes mouse and runs away] Andy: You didn't have to do that. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Andy is complicating things. But I'm not worried. This will only up my game. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hello. Scott. Table for four. Hostess: Welcome Scott family. It'll be just a moment. Pam: I use to love coming here. The chicken parm is good. Big part of my childhood. Oh, maybe Michael will start dating that too. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: What table should we take? So many to choose from. Jim: Wow. Helene: [sees table decorated with a banner and balloons] Oh my God! Michael: What? All I see are boring old tables with no birthday decorations. Oh, wait a second! You mean this one? Wow! Pam: Michael, you did all this? Michael: Not about taking credit. Let's just say we all did it. Helene: Well, thank you. All of you. Michael: Well, it was actually me alone, so-- wow look at this place. Really makes me want to go to Italy some day. Helene: Oh you'll love it. You can have my guide books. I think I'm done with those really long plane rides. Michael: Oh. Thank you. Thanks for lending me the books. Pam: So, mom... which birthday are we celebrating this year? Helene: [laughs] Sticking with 49. Pam: 49 again? That's nine years in a row. This is now our longest family tradition. Michael: That's funny. Helene: Well, as long as you're running numbers Pam, then help me out with this one. Let's see your six months pregnant, but you've only been married for 30 days, so what does that add up to? Jim: Oh, burn. Burn on you... and a little bit on me, too. [they laugh] Michael: You're 54 years old. Helene: No. I'm 58. Michael: You're 58 years old? Helene: Uh huh. Michael: Congratulations. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you and I am not robbing the cradle. If anything I am robbing the grave. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Mom, have you decided what you want to be called? Helene: Oh, well I like Nana, but I also like the classic Grandma. Pam: Please be Grandma. Jim: Definitely Grandma. Pam: I want you to be Grandma. Helene: Oh, Michael what do you think? Grandma? Michael: [nods uncomfortably] That-- Pam: Yay, Grandma! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hey, would you guys ever do a triathlon, do you think? Pam: Maybe. Michael: Helene? Helene: Oh, oh no. I don't think so. Michael: I am. I'm definitely going to do it. I've already got the run and the bike thing down. Just need to learn how to swim. Come on, you in? Helene: Oh no, I think a triathlon is pretty much something I can rule out. It just-- doesn't interest me. Michael: So it's a matter of interest. Good, okay. It's not anything you would have ever done. Helene: Hmm... I might have done it when I was younger, but now there's just other things I'd rather be doing, instead of running and jumping and swimming-- Michael: Well there's no jumping in a triathlon. Helene: Oh-- Michael: You're thinking of the broad jump. Would you try-- bungee jumping? Helene: No, no... [laughs] Michael: Snowboarding? Helene: You want to go snowboarding? Michael: I might. Helene: Michael, what are you talking about? Michael: [sighs] Nothing. Just life-- and doing things-- before you die. I don't know. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Do I really want to go snowboarding? No. But I would like to if I wanted to. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [singing fanfare] Aye-yi-yi! [lifts covers off trays of food] Dwight: What's going on in here? Oscar: Andy bought lunch. Dwight: Oh... no... really? Andy: Yep, yep. Took a page right out of the old Schrute book of niceness. Dwight: There is no book. There's only a survival guide. Andy: You bought breakfast for everyone, so I got lunch for everyone. Dwight: Okay, well, allow me. You know what-- gosh these tacos are awfully complicated to make. I will make everyone's tacos! Gra-ga-ga-ga-ga! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: So we should get the check? Pam: What about your gift Michael? Michael: Oh, no, no, no. No. It's stupid. You'd hate it. I hate it. Helene: I'm sure I won't. Michael: Yes you will. Pam: He locked himself in his office all morning working on it. Helene: Gimme. Look at this wrapping paper. It's got the word love on it in every language. Pam: Aww-- Michael: I literally-- I put no thought into the wrapping at all. Might as well of been toilet paper. Helene: [opens present, reads inscription] A scrapbook of our first memories by Michael Gary Scott. For my girlfriend Helene on your birthday. [laughs] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: That's just an arbitrary title. Helene: Ok, there's a penny. What's that from? Jim: Penny for your thoughts. Helene: It was from the wishing well at the mall. You threw it in. I went back later, waded in and I found it. Jim: Wow. Pam: That's amazing. Michael: It's not amazing... at all. It's sort of weird that I went and did that. And now your wish won't come true, so that blows. Helene: [looking through the book] A poem! Michael: Oh that I plagiarized I think. Helene: [reading] I can not go to school today said little Peggy Ann McKay... Jim: [whispers to Pam] Shel Silverstein. Pam: Yeah. Helene: Um-- I have the measles and the mumps, a gash, a rash and purple bumps. And my teachers really mean-- Happy Birthday , I love you Helene. Pam: That's really nice Michael. Michel: I think it sucks. Helene: I think it's wonderful, absolutely wonderful. Michael: Well, that's because you and I have very different tastes and you like lame things. It's a generational-- sort of gap between us. Helene: [hugging book] God... it's a scrapbook. Pam: Home run Michael. Jim: You set the bar so high. Michael: That was a bunt. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Whoa, whoa Dwight. I'm going to do this. Dwight: Hey, hey, hey-- relax I got it covered. Andy: No, I insist. Dwight: No, no, no, no, no, no, I insist. [pushes Andy out of the room and locks the door] Andy: Ok, Dwight this is ridiculous. Dwight: Don't worry about it. You can just owe me. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Hey. Where'd you go? Michael: Oh, just went to the bathroom. Pam: And then you stopped at the bar on the way back? Michael: I got thirsty. Pam: Okay, weirdo. Come on. It's time for cake. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Honestly, for a long time I thought I was going to grow old with Holly. And then I met Helene. And she is great and she already knows and has done everything that I have ever wanted to do and can tell me about it. But, I think I want to do those things myself. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Cakes really good. Helene: Oh, I know. I love how they use butter cream frosting. Michael: Finish your cake, Helene. Helene: Hmmm? Michael: I want you to enjoy that cake because I have something terrible I need to tell you. I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Helene I think you're a wonderful person and I-- God-- I've enjoyed dating you and being your boyfriend so much. But I have to consider Pam's feelings as a friend and a co-worker I can not in good conscience continue to date you, when I know what this is doing to her. Pam: Michael. Michael ,it's okay. Michael: No it's not. Pam: I know that it took me a little while to come around and its still a little weird to get used to, but you obviously make my mom very happy. And that makes me happy. Michael: Wow. That just-- you've really grown. Pam: Well-- Michael: [covering eyes] Thank you Pam. And I hope you are as gracious during this next part. Helene, once again you are a wonderful person and you have lived a great life and I envy it. And I want it someday, but just in the future. You need somebody who-- who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never-- I don't know him. There's another woman. And her name is Italy... and skydiving... and bungee jumping. Jim: Okay, so-- Michael: And I want kids. And you... unfortunately, have already completed that part of your journey down there. Pam: Michael. Michael: It's not my decision. It's mother nature. And mother has very strict rules about fer-- [waitress comes over to pour water; long pause] -- tility. Helene: I, um-- I got it. [SCENE_BREAK] Helene: I'm 58. What am I supposed to do now? Michael: Well, hobbies-- Jim: Stop. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [reaching for something on the top shelf] Ahh. Dwight: What's going on? Andy: Stupid things wedged up there. No one in this office will help me. Dwight: Alright, move it. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Oh yeah, you're going to owe me big time. Andy: It's like a little envelope-- there you go. Dwight: Got it. [looks at envelope] To Dwight. Wha-- [opens envelope] Starbucks gift card. Andy: Surprise! [laughs] It's from everybody. $15 value. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Dammit. I am no closer to taking Jim down. What a waste of a day. I could of grown poisoned mushrooms that would have been this high by now. [bends over and hold hand about 1/2 an inch from the floor] They're mushrooms. They don't get that high. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Pamela Beesly Halpert-- Pam: What? Michael: May I have a word with you in my office please? Pam: I am working. Michael: Well, this is a work related matter. Pam: Really? Michael: Yes. Pam: Really? Michael: Yes. Join me please, won't you? [Pam gets up and follows Michael into his office] I am going to give you a raise. Pam: Why? Michael: Because of all the good work you've done. Pam: I have the lowest sales record of anyone here. Michael: That's-- no, no-- it's not about numbers, Pam. It's about attitude. Pam: I have the worst attitude of any person here. Michael: Do you want the raise or what? Pam: Yeah, I'll take it. [turns to leave] Michael: Hey, Pam, Pam-- with this raise there are strings attached. [Pam sighs] And the string is attached from my heart to your mean attitude. Pam: You're bribing me? Michael: No! No-- no I am not. Unless you want me to. DO you want me to? Cause I will. I will bribe you. No. Your face is saying don't-- unless I haven't offered you enough... your face isn't changing. What is it? Talk to me face. Tell me what Pam's brain is thinking. Come on! What do you want? What do you want? Do you want a million dollars? Do you want to hit me? Want me to get down on one knee and beg you or-- Pam: I want to hit you. Michael: What? Pam: I want to hit you. I'll do that. Michael: [nervous laughter] Oh-- okay , what? I don't-- Are you kidding? Pam: No. Are you kidding? Michael: Ye-- No. Alright. I'll take off my jacket and tense my stomach and you can just-- Pam: No. I don't think I can hit you in the office. Michael: Okay. Pam: So, um... we'll do it after work. In the parking lot. In front of everyone. I'm going to hit you as hard as I can. Michael: Okay. Pam: Okay. Michael: Okay. Pam: See you then. Michael: See you. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Hey. Michael: Hey. Ryan: Quick question. Kelly: Yeah. Ryan: Are you scared? Michael: Never. About what? A little-- what are you talking-- Ryan: We heard about the punch. Michael: What punch? Kelly: Pam. She's going to punch the crap out of your face after work. Michael: I'm pretty sure we said slap. Kelly: No, it's a punch and Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now. Ryan: I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you? Michael: I-- mmm-- I'm good. Ryan: alright. See you there. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hey. Jim: Hey. Michael: Do you and Pam ever get frisky? Jim: Inappropriate. Michael: I mean-- do you ever wrestle with each other? Jim: All the time. Michael: Really? Jim: Yeah. Michael: She strong? Jim: She wants it bad Michael. Michael: Can you stop this? Jim: I can. Michael: Okay. Jim: And I don't support her choice to hit you. Michael: I don't either. Jim: But at the same time she looks crazy and I do understand her reasoning. Michael: Mmm-hmm. I know. Jim: I just need some time. Michael: You gotta do something-- Jim: I just need some time. Just give me some time to make a decision. Michael: How much time do you think you'll need? Jim: No more than a week. Maybe two weeks. Michael: Come on, man! [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: Pam, can I talk to you for a second? Pam: Oh... Toby: I heard about the hit. Just-- make sure it's off company property, right? Pam: Right. Toby: Okay, I think we should probably be okay. Pam: Okay. Toby: Okay. And-- the-the power-- comes from the back foot. So its-- its all one motion through the-- body. So you stay a little low and there's a twist. You keep your shoulder down and you kind of throw out the arm. [demonstrates punch] Pow! Pam: [stands up; gets into stance] Okay wait-- it's-- you're saying it comes from the foot. Toby: Yes. Pam: Okay. [punches Toby's hand] Toby: Yes. Pam: Wow! Toby: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: Hey everybody, he's not in the men's room although the seat was warm so we may have just missed him. Kevin: My money's on Pam. Oscar: It's not a fight. What other outcome could there be? Kevin: Michael could win. Oscar: How? He can't hit back. Kevin: Why can't you just agree with me sometimes? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Am I scared of getting hit in the face? No. Everyday weirdo's pay dominatrix's hundreds of dollars for that very privilege. I'm scared I'm gonna love it. [claps hands] Let's do this. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: It's okay guys... I can handle this. Everybody can go home. Kevin: We're here for the show, Michael. Michael: You're just a bunch of voyeurs. Are you eating popcorn? Kelly: It has almost no calories. Pam: Are you ready? Michael: Yes. Pam: [goes to punch Michael; he flinches] You have to keep your hands down, Michael. Michael: I know. [sighs] Okay. Alright. [Pam goes to punch him again] Oh-- God! Pam: Michael, you have to put your hands down. Angela: Put your hands in your pockets. Michael: Okay! [braces himself] Pam, Pam-- I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. Pam: What are you sorry for? Michael: So many things. I don't know. It's hard to choose. Pam: How about for dating my mom? Michael: Maybe that-- Pam: And dumping her on her birthday. Michael: Yes. Pam: Okay-- just-- don't ever date a member of my family again. Michael: Okay. I promise. [Pam starts to walk away] For the record your mom came on to me. [Pam turns around and slaps him; he gasps] Phyllis: Holy crap. Pam: Are you okay? Michael: No! Pam: You're okay. Jim: Feel better? Pam: No. You were right. Dwight: [walks with Michael back into the office; Michael is clutching is face and limping] Wait, why are you limping? Michael: I don't know. Dwight: Let's get some raw meat on that face. I got a chicken in the freezer upstairs. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: As I watched Pam's big, strong hand coming towards my face I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids. And I have a hover-car and a hover-house. And my wife is a runner and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends and our kids play together. And I am happy and I am rich and I never die. It doesn't sound like much, but its enough for me. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Ahh... [Dwight is holding a frozen chicken to his face] Dwight: Good, good. Keep it on there for another five minutes. Just let the swelling go down. Michael: Oh thank you. Thanks. I owe you one Dwight. Dwight: Fire Jim. Michael: No. Dwight: I'm cashing in the favor. Fire him. Michael: What are you talking about-- Dwight: Do it. Promote me. Tri-managers. Michael: Forget that. Dwight: Can I have an office? Michael: No. Dwight: You know what you can keep your stupid favor. It's worthless. And this is my dinner on your face. I'm keeping it. Michael: [pats face] Oh that feels better.	Plan: A: Pam; Q: Who slaps Michael in the parking lot after work? A: Michael; Q: Who dumps Helene? A: her; Q: What does Michael dump when he learns Helene's age? A: her birthday; Q: What is the reason for Helene's lunch with Michael and Pam? A: favors; Q: What does Dwight try to get from everyone in the office? A: the office; Q: Where does Dwight try to curry favor from everyone to overthrow Jim? Summary: Jim and Pam reluctantly lunch with Michael and Helene for her birthday. However, when Michael learns Helene's age, he dumps her, infuriating Pam even more. She slaps Michael in the parking lot after work. Dwight tries to curry favors from everyone in the office to help him overthrow Jim.
The bar Barney: So, this chick and I are going at it behind the Central Park Zoo. The Bonobo chimps start giving us a standing O, and just when I'm about to give her the same thing... What up?... I... I can't. I just... I can't. Guys, I know you count the minutes until you can escape from your humdrum lives by hearing how awesome mine is, and I love doing that for you, but I just can't tonight. Robin: What's wrong? Barney: I don't want to talk about it. Robin: Okay. Hey, you guys see Deadliest Catch last night? Ted: Did I ever! Deadliest Catch ever! Barney: All right, I'll tell you! My mother is selling the house I grew up in. All of my childhood memories gone, just like that! Ted: That sucks. I've been there, buddy. Marshall: What are you talking about? Your mother still lives in the house you grew up in. Ted: With her new hippie husband, Clint. The comfort of home is a little ruined when someone turns your old room into what I'm pretty sure is a Tantric s*x temple. With all the bamboo, pot smoke and '60s music, it's like my old G.I. Joes are frozen in some weird Vietnam flashback. Barney: Anyway, I need you guys to come out to Staten Island on Saturday and help box everything up. (laughing) Lily: You expect us to spend a whole day packing up your mom's house? Barney: Of course not. It's a two-day job. Robin: Pass. Ted: Same. Marshall: Unsubscribe. Barney: You guys are adorable. You seriously believe that I, Barney Stinson, can't talk you into this? I got the Queen to give me a fist bump. Ted: No one believes that story. Lily: You may be able to talk the brain surgeons you pick up into doing whatever you want, but it's not gonna work on us. Staten Island, Barney's family home Lily: How did he do that? [OPENING CREDITS] Ted from 2030: So there we were helping Barney pack up his childhood home. Barney: Whoa, Ted, that thing you're packing is way too big to fit in that box. Ted: Yeah, that's what your mom said. Barney: How dare you! Ted: No, she actually said that. Lauretta: Oh, dear, I thought I told you, that's just not going to fit in there. (James enters) James: Someone order something tall, dark and awesome? Everyone: James! Barney: Bro! Ted: How you doing? James: Hey! Lauretta: Oh, my goodness! James: Mama. Lauretta: Look at my two sons. So big and strong and handsome. Barney: Mom. Stop. Lauretta: And how is my delicious little grandson? Oh, did he get the clothes I sent him? James: Check it. Huh? How cute is that, right? When was the last time you saw a diaper poking out of a Dolce and Gabana suit? Barney: Tuesday at work. Some of the senior partners are really getting up there. Robin: So, Ted, yesterday at work, I totally talked you up to that super-hot makeup girl, Liz. Ted: Oh yeah? Mm-hmm. What did you say? Robin: Oh, you know, how funny you are... Ted: Guilty. Robin: Handsome. Ted: Who, me? Robin: Incredible lover. Ted: Really? Robin: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was all like, "He knows a woman's body better than she knows her own, endless waves of pleasure just cresting and breaking for hours and hours..." Blah, blah, blah. "Orgasms so intense that you just black out." All that stuff. Ted: Robin, how can I possibly live up to that review? Robin: What? You know what you're doing down there. Oh, Teddy Westside can bring it. We know this. Ted: But that is not the point. I mean, you broke the first rule of setting people up: undersell. It's like, if someone's never seen The Karate Kid, you don't say, "It's the greatest movie ever." You say, "Uh, it's pretty good" And then they see it, it blows their freakin' mind. Because Cobra Kai sensei's all like, "Sweep the leg!" And Daniel-san's all like... (high-pitched vocalizations, (mitates whooshing sounds) Robin: Maybe I did oversell you a bit. James: Thank you guys so much for helping us out with this stuff. Lily: Oh, it gives us a rare insight into the makings of Barney Stinson. Like, look at this. Who was a cute little basketball player before he became the biggest pervert in the world? Barney: I loved Pee Wee basketball. Well, until they kicked me off the team... I was so awesome, the coach asked me to quit because it wasn't fair to the other kids. [FLASHBACK] Barney: I was so awesome, the coach asked me to quit because it wasn't fair to the other kids. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: That sounds plausible. Barney: Hey. It's true. Tell him, James. James: Oh, yeah, he had, like, a four-foot vertical leap. He would hit it from the outside, hit it from the inside... He sucked. Coach cut him from the team, and Mom fed him that story so he'd feel better. Barney: Oh, my God! Look at this. My letter from the Postmaster General. I still can't believe he took the time to write this... [FLASHBACK] (Barney is celebrating his birthday) Barney: "Dear Barney... I sincerely apologize about losing all the invitations you sent out to your eighth birthday party. That's why none of your classmates showed up. Not because you threw up when they turned the lights off at the Planetarium. No one even noticed that. Also, Janey Masterson's mother is a whore, and with gin on her breath at 10:00 in the morning, she's got some nerve kicking us out of the carpool. Love, Postmaster General. [END OF FLASHBACK] Barney: Thank you. Marshall: Does your mom make stuff like that up a lot? James: Constantly. I mean, she put more effort into some lies than others. [FLASHBACK] Barney: Mom? Who's my dad? All the other kids at school know who their dad is. Who's mine? Loretta: Oh, I don't know... That guy. [END OF FLASHBACK] Robin: Did she tell you that Bob Barker was your dad, too? James: No. No, no. I heard Flip Wilson, Bill Cosby, James Earl Jones, Meadowlark Lemon... The list goes on. I still can't get a straight answer about who my real dad is. And Barney's no help. He still believes every lie that my mom told us growing up. Not me. I caught on early. Barney: Careful! Michael Jackson sent me this glove for my tenth... Ted: Damn. Loretta really lied a lot to her kids. Lily: Well, she's not alone. Whenever Marshall was acting too hyper, his mom would suddenly decide he was "sick" and give him cough medicine until he passed out. Marshall: I'm pretty sure that's what stunted my growth. I hit 6'4" in the fifth grade, and then I just stopped. Lily: And then there's the most popular parental lie in history. Santa. Marshall: Yeah, but that's a good lie. Like when we tell Ted he'll meet the right girl and settle down. Ted: I always find that reassuring. Marshall: You will meet her, buddy. Ted: You think so? Marshall: Yeah! Lily is going down the stairs with a box in her hands, marshall is following her Lily: Santa's still a lie, and I'm not lying to our kids. Marshall: Baby, it's Santa. Don't you want our kids going to sleep on Christmas Eve with their hearts full of hope, their heads full of crazy cough syrup nightmares, knowing that downstairs Kris Kringle is stuffing their stockings full of joy and stuffing his belly full of milk and lutefisk that they left him? Lily: Milk and lutefisk? Santa doesn't get cookies in Minnesota? Marshall: Yeah, that's just what Santa needs at 3:00 a.m. when he's battling a snowstorm over the Rockies: a sugar crash. No. Santa needs protein. Lily: I'm not lying to our kids. Barney: Ah... Valentines. The second base of third grade. I always got a Valentine from every single girl in my class. James: Funny how all these girls have the exact same handwriting as the Postmaster General, Mom, and... home run king, Frank Aaron. Barney: Yeah, school girls... The more they ignore you, pretend to hate your guts, lock you in the coatroom over winter break, the more they secretly like you. This isn't... Who's Sam Gibbs? James: No idea. Why? Barney: Mom addressed this and never sent it. James: What's in it? Barney: Hey. (laughs) It's a picture of you and me when we were little kids. On the back, Mom wrote... "Your son." Loretta: Okay, everyone, lunch is ready. Who wants Sloppy Joes? James: Mom, who's Sam Gibbs? Loretta: That doesn't sound familiar. Who wants Sloppy Joes? James: There's a picture of me and Barney in an envelope addressed to him. And you wrote "your son" on the back. Loretta: Oh, no, that... It says "Yourson." For Yourson, North Dakota. That's where we took the picture. Lovely town. We went kayaking, and you two rescued the mayor's dog, which had wandered into the rapids. That mayor, Sam Gibbs, asked for your picture so the city could make statues of you both. I guess I never sent it. That's embarrassing. Now, how about those Sloppy Joes? James: If this picture was taken in North Dakota, then why is our old swing set in the background? Loretta: I don't know! I did my best as a single parent, and it wasn't always easy, and I'd recommend putting the coleslaw right on top of the Sloppy Joe, because it's delicious that way! James: Can you believe her? Barney: I know. Forgetting to send the photo. That poor sculptor had to work from memory. Those statues probably look nothing like us. Damn it, Mom! [SCENE_BREAK] Back in the bedroom Robin: So, Ted? You were worried that I oversold you to Liz. Well, I fixed it. Ted: How? Robin: I sent her another email. "Dear Liz. I hope it didn't sound like I was trying to oversell Ted. The truth is, he is a genuinely nice, down to earth guy, and I think you two would really hit it off." Ted: Thank you. Thank you. That's perfect. That totally takes the pressure... Robin: "Is he going to rock your world in bed? No. But he's clean, open to criticism, and not into anything too weird. He's not bad at all. Not bad at all." Ted: See, now you went too far in the other... Robin: "I'll be honest. The first few times aren't going to be that great. He's going to say 'Are you finished?' more times than a waiter in a busy restaurant." Ted: Stop! In the living room James: Listen to me. There is no Yourson, North Dakota. Mom... And Sam Gibbs wasn't the mayor. He might be one of our fathers. Barney: Well, he's not my dad. My dad's Bob Barker. James: Barney! You... You've got to stop living in these fairy tales that Mom told us! Bob Barker is not your father. Sam Gibbs might be, but Bob Barker is absolutely, unequivocally not your father. Marshall: I suppose you have a problem with the Easter Bunny, too. Lily: Not now. James: This address isn't too far. Are you coming with me, or not? Marshall, Lily, James and Barney take a trip to meet Sam Gibbs Barney: So we're doing this? We're really going to go disturb the peaceful Long Island retirement of the former mayor of Yourson, North Dakota on a Sunday afternoon? Real classy, James. Real classy. James: You're just too scared to face the truth. You're living in a dream world. Marshall: Maybe we shouldn't have brought these Sloppy Joes. Lily: Oh, what's done is done. Ted and Robin are at the back of James' truck Ted: "Ted Mosby is solid as a rock." No. "Dependable." No. "Rugged." No. Robin: Why don't I just go to the Chevy Web site and copy down adjectives? Ted: I just want to hit that perfect middle ground. Robin: How about we just go wildly to both extremes and just let them balance each other out? "Ted Mosby is really handsome, but extremely violent, and really rich, but lacks bladder control." Oh, damn. Ted: What? Robin: That last bump just made me hit send. Ted: Oh, no. Robin: Don't worry. I'm sure that everyone will get it's a joke. Ted: No, they won't. They're going to think... Wait. "Everyone"? (Marshall, Lily, James and Barney are all laughing) Barney: "Really rich"? They arrive in front of the Sam Gibbs' house James: You ready for this? Barney: For what? I don't know who lives here, but it's not my dad. Wait. Wait. Please, stop. Just... just give me a second, okay? James: I thought you said that he... Stop. Barney: Come on. I know Bob Barker's not really... you know. I'm not crazy. I just... I needed that. I know it may sound stupid, but I didn't always feel so great about myself growing up, and so having a celebrity dad made me feel special. But you're right, James. It's time to let go of the fantasies. It's time to grow up. James: Come here. (doorbell rings, a black man opens the door) Sam Gibbs: Can I help you? James: Yeah... you're Sam Gibbs. Sam Gibbs: Yes. James: I'm James Stinson, and, I think you may have known my mother, Loretta Stinson... in the '70s. Sam: Loretta! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I... I knew Loretta. James: My mother meant to send you this. Sam: You're my son. Lily: God, this must be so hard for Barney. Marshall: Yeah, but you know what? He took a big step today... Barney: Papa! Look at us!nIt's like three of the same guy. Oh, my God, this explains why I was always so awesome at basketball. Guys, I'm black! Sorry. African-American. No. I'm allowed to say either. I got to go get my camera! James: That is my younger brother, Barney. He just thought he'd meet his real dad today, and clearly, he's not taking it so well. Sam: Oh, my head's kind of spinning, too. I mean, Loretta and I only saw each other for a couple of months. You were two before I even knew you existed, and at that point, your mother made it very clear she was going to raise you on her own. I felt I had to respect her wishes, but I always wanted to meet you. Ted: Wait. Barney and James are two years apart. If Sam only knew Loretta for a few months, he couldn't possibly be Barney's father. Robin: He's also quite the detective. Lily: Don't worry. We'll... We'll snap Barney out of this when he gets back. Marshall: Or, he could just let him have this one. Ted: What? Lily: Are you kidding? Marshall: Guys, Barney's losing his childhood home, he finally admitted Bob Barker's not his dad, and then he watched James meet his real father. It's just a lot to go through in one afternoon. Can't we just let the guy be black for a day? Barney: Here, Ted. Capture the moment! Ted: I think you'd need Salvador Dali to capture this particular moment, but I'll give it a whirl. Barney: Man... I thought I was a light-skinned Caucasian, but in truth, I'm a really light-skinned African-American. Man, try to hail a cab in Manhattan. Am I right? Nope, no one's stopping for this. These guys don't understand what I'm talking about. Ted from 2030: During that afternoon, Sam and James began to discover how much they had in common. Inside the house, Sam is playing the piano, singing "Stand By Me" Sam: Come on. You know this. Come on. (James begins to sing with him) Sam: There you go. Come on. (Barney begins to scat sings) Robin and Ted are in the garden Robin: Weird day. Ted: Weird day. (phone chirps) Robin: Hey, look at that! Liz still wants to meet you. That's great! Ted: I guess. Wait a minute. You said Liz was a total ten. Why would she want to meet the incontinent freak show you described? You oversold her! Robin: Maybe a little. Ted: You said she was a ten. Robin: I did not specify on what scale. Ted: You said she looked like a movie star. Robin: She does. It's Robert De Niro, but, like, super buff, like in Cape Fear. Sam and James are sitting in front of the house Barney: Dad, look how fast I can run! James: He's actually a really sweet guy, and he's great with my son. Sam: I have a grandson? James: His name's Eli. Sam: He's beautiful. Barney: Dad, you're not looking! Ted from 2030: Eventually, the strangest afternoon of our lives wound to a close, and we headed back to Staten Island, where Barney and his mom had a long overdue heart-to-heart. Barney's room, Loretta comes in Loretta: Barney? I need to talk to you. Barney: Me first. Mom, there's something that I need to ask you, and I... I want you to be honest with me. Why do white people like Carrot Top? Loretta: Listen... I always wanted to be enough for you boys. I think that's why it always hurt whenever you asked about your dads, because I was always trying so hard to be both parents for you. But I was being selfish. You deserve the truth. So here it is. Sam is not your father. Barney: Are you sure? Loretta: Yes. He's black, dear. But if you want, I can tell you who your father really is. Ted from 2030: And at that moment, Barney suddenly saw his childhood more clearly than he ever had before. [FLASHBACKS] Basketball coatch: I'm sorry, but your son can't be on the team. He's terrible. Barney: What'd Coach say, Ma? Loretta: He said you're simply too good to be on the team. It's not fair to the other boys. But that's okay. We can just play together in the backyard. Barney: Why didn't anyone come? Loretta: Oh, you know what, dear? Apparently, there was a mix-up with the mail. I just got this letter from the Postmaster General. "Dear Barney, I sincerely apologize "for losing all the invitations you sent out to your eighth birthday party." [END OF FLAHBACKS] (Barney tears the paper his mother is handing to him apart) Loretta: Barney. Barney: It's okay, Mom. I don't need it. Loretta: But it's your father. Barney: I already have a father. And his name... is Loretta. Ted from 2030: Kids, your uncle Barney grew up without a dad. And it always made him feel incomplete. But as he hugged Loretta, surrounded by the boxes into his happy childhood, he realized he had one hell of a mom. Sam's house (James and Sam are still singing. Barney comes in and begins to sing with them with a weird voice. James and Sam stand up et leave the room.) Barney: Wait. Dad! James! Where are you going? That's the best part. Can we go camping?	Plan: A: Barney; Q: Who convinces the gang to help his mom move out of her home? A: Ted; Q: Who gets upset when Robin oversells him to a blind date? Summary: When Barney convinces the gang to help his mom move out of her home, they quickly learn that she has been very protective of Barney and lied to him about events throughout his life. Meanwhile, Ted gets upset when Robin oversells him to a blind date.
Amy: Previously on "Heartland"... Will: I've been feeding these horses for years and never got that close to 'em. Jack: Well, that's Amy for you. You-you've got no legal right to stop me from seeing my niece! But it is our house, and we do have the legal right to tell you to get the hell outta here. I'm pushing for that cull to happen, and when it does, those damn horses are gonna be the first to go. Will: Okay, let's get 'em outta here. Matt: What the hell are you doing?! I told you not to fight me on this! (Hooves thunder) Will: Keep 'em moving! I'm with the child protection society. There's been a complaint about Georgie's living conditions and welfare. Amy: Can you believe what we just did? Ty: That was completely awesome. (Kissing, vehicle rumbles) RCMP officer: Ty Borden, Amy Flemming, you're under arrest for horse theft. Amy: Horse theft? Matt: You heard the officer. Ty: How can you arrest us for horse theft? You should arrest this guy. He's the one who stole the herd off Will Vernon. They're wild horses! They don't belong to will or anybody else. I'm completely within my rights. Yeah, but you trespassed on Will's land to get them in the first place. RCMP officer: Mr. Pincher has a government permit. He's allowed by law to capture any wild horses in this area. I'm gonna give you a choice. Return the horses to his corral or I will have to put you under arrest. (Birds chirp) (Door opens, bag thumps) Peter: I can't believe this. It's a notice of investigation from the... child protection society. They're... Lou: Shhh! They're setting up an appointment with us for tomorrow. Lou: Oh my God. Peter: There's a litany of complaints here, Lou. Look! "Child works on the farm for three hours both before and after school. Could constitute child labour. An alleged... An alleged accident occurred while the child was unsupervised. This could be deemed as possible child abuse and neglect." Peter, this is all lies. Every bit of it has been skewed and twisted. It's Crystal. She's the one who's done this. It has to be her. (Horses whinny, hooves thunder) Ty: Hi-yah! (Horses whinny, hooves thunder) Rider 1: Come on! Yah! Hi-yah! (Hooves thunder, horses grunt and whinny) Rider 2: That's it, that's all of 'em. Rider 3: Close the gate. Matt: All right, you two, you're finished here. Amy: It doesn't have to be like this, Matt. But you don't get to decide that. I don't want you near those horses again. Same goes for Will Vernon. You tell him that. Ty: Let's go. (Hooves thud) (ATV rumbles, men shout) Amy: We can't let this happen, Ty. All those beautiful horses. He's gonna send them to auction. He's gonna let them die. Ty: Okay. don't worry about it, all right? We'll figure this out, just one step at a time. (Horse snorts nervously) Ty: Amy, look. (Horse snorts) At least he's still free. This isn't over yet. It's just beginning. S08E10 "The Heart of a River" ♪ And at the break of day you sank into your dream ♪ ♪ You dreamer ♪ oh, oh, oh... ♪ You dreamer... ♪ You dreamer... (Rooster crows) Georgie: It's not fair! Who would do that? We don't know, honey. (Sighs) They don't release that information. Georgie: I bet I know who. Peter: Hey! It was aunt Crystal. She's the only person who would know about this stuff. Peter: Georgie, listen... (receding footsteps, Peter sighs) (Low hum of chatter) Joanna: Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming. We thought it might be a good idea since emotions are running a little high to get together and talk about what's happening with the horses. So, Matt, you're up. Matt: Thanks, Joanna. Okay! I'm sorry about the situation this morning. Nothing would've happened if certain people hadn't interfered in the first place. Look, guys, I'm taking good care of the herd. They're being watered and fed in line with the rules of the capture. They're probably better off than they were when they were wandering in the wild. Tim: Out of curiosity, how'd you come up with the number you could take in? Matt: I've got the statistics right here. Now, they did an aerial study and it shows... The herd population in this area alone grew by 20 percent in the last two years. Now, the horses that I captured represent a tiny portion of that 20 percent. When did you do this count? (Pages shuffle) Last October. Tim: Before the flood. Jack: Yeah. And before the worst winter in my personal memory. Will: That's right. Jack: Now it's just my humble opinion, but I figure there's a natural cull going on here. She's called mother nature. (Townsfolk clap and chatter) You know, your old man, he loved them horses. He absolutely loved them and you know that. What is wrong with you? Right now he's flipped around in that grave of his. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, boy. (Door opens and closes) Amy: Matt, I think something that we can actually agree on is that we need to keep these horses healthy. Because it's part of your deal as a permit holder. Matt: Correct. Amy: So it is in your best interest to make sure the horses are in good shape. What're you saying? Amy: I'm just saying that maybe Ty, with his vet experience, should monitor the horses' condition while they're in your care, and I can help. No. They don't need to be monitored. They're fine. You don't know that. They're wild, right? So they could have any number of diseases. Diseases that could spread to other stock. To healthy stock. Chad: Come on, Matt. What're you afraid of? Townsfolk: Yeah! Chad: Let 'em check out the horses. Matt: Fine. Monitor the horses. But that's it, you hear me? Georgie: She said she loved me, Jeffie, and... (Sighs) she said I was just like my mom and she gave me all these pictures and stuff and... Okay. Well, can I call you once you're done work? Okay. I'll let you know what it happens. Okay. Love you too. Bye. (Phone beeps off) Lou: Georgie? (Phone thumps on table) (Ripping) Georgie: What's gonna happen at the appointment tomorrow? It'll be fine. I called Clint and I left a message. He knows us and he loves you. Just be totally honest and nothing bad can happen. That hasn't always worked, even with Clint. Look. I know that you were disappointed when we asked your aunt Crystal to leave. And I know that you wish things could've turned out differently. Georgie: No. I don't. Not anymore. And I-I was just on the phone with Jeffie and he remembers Crystal. My mom... She didn't trust her and... she said she was a bad influence on us. Come here. Everything's gonna be all right, okay? (Sighs heavily) (River flows) Tim: Amy, honey, I thought you did a great job at that meeting today. Amy: Well, at least it was a step. Now that I can get close to Matt's horses, I can start to gentle them. Jack: Yeah? And how do you plan on doing that? Hopefully, right under Matt's nose, and then I'll find homes for them. Great. (Door opens and closes) Hey. (Wood clunks, fire crackles) Ty: It's really beautiful out there, Amy. You wanna go for a walk? Amy: Um... Tim: You should, you should. I'll-I'll put wood on the fire and keep it going till you get back. Okay. Sure. Ty: Thanks. (Door opens and closes) Tim: See that? What do you got to say now, huh? (Approaching footsteps) Lou: I'm just glad everyone's away during all of this. (Sighs heavily) What if she wins? Peter: She won't. Lou: What if... You saw that report. It's claiming you're an absentee parent. I know, I know. Lou: It's gonna make it worse if you and I... If we don't figure things out. Peter: Yeah, uh... I think, just for now, we have to put our personal issues aside and just create a united front. You know, for Georgie's sake. Just for Georgie's sake? No... for us, too. (Fire crackles, clock ticks nearby) (River flows, birds chirp) Ty: Kind of a weird day. (Snorts softly) I guess it's becoming a habit for you, this getting arrested thing. (Water splashes, Ty chuckles) Come on... I wasn't arrested after that bar episode. You and Caleb were such a mess. (Chuckles) Ty... why didn't you call? You know, after... I picked you up and everything? Ty: I wanted to, but I decided to give you some time to figure out what it is that you want. (Annoyed) What I wanted was to talk, but... you made it pretty clear that you didn't. You kept giving me the cold shoulder, and then, this morning, you do a complete 180. You kissed me, Ty. Did that... Did that mean something or was that just us getting caught up in the moment? I'm not giving you the cold shoulder, I just don't want us to go right back to where we were. Then... what do you want me to do? Amy, I want you to figure out what's important to you. I have. Maybe you haven't noticed, but I have. So what do you want? You're gonna have to tell me what's important to you. Say something. (River flows) (Fire crackles) Jack: Just sit down. They'll be fine. Tim: Yeah, I know. I know. And who do we have to thank for that? (Snaps his finger, door opens) Tim: Hey, honey. (Door shuts) Amy: Good night. Jack: Yeah, tell me again. Who do we have to thank? (Fire crackles) Yeah, Mel. I-no, no, no! These are true "hot shot" type horses. No, you have to see them. Ty: Yeah, I got a client roster in my phone from last month. Is that still up-to-date? Okay, good. Thanks for spreading the word, Scott. Tim: Just, just, just come up. That's it. If you see them, I guarantee you'll buy a few of them. Amy: Okay. I've been through all my clients and there's lots of prospects. (Phone beeps) Chad: There's something about a group of tree hugging horsey people on a mission. But have you even thought about what's gonna happen when all these people start showing up? Matt's gonna know. I mean, they have to deal with him. Amy: Well, I've got time to talk Matt around. Chad: Actually, you don't have any time at all. I just heard. Meat truck's coming... tomorrow. (Car rumbles, door opens) Lou: Hi there. (Door slams shut) Um, nice to see you again. Will-will Clint be joining us today? Abby: Actually, my boss is on vacation, so all twelve of your emails were forwarded to me. Judging by the content of some of them, I'm sure you weren't aware. (Heels clunk on stairs, Lou sighs heavily) So how would you like to go about these interviews? Abby: Well, protocol states that I should start with you and Peter. Lou: Of course. Abby: Um, separately. Lou: Oh. Okay. Um, who would you like to... interrogate first? Abby: You. And Mrs. Morris, this is not an interrogation. This is for the good of your child. (Pages flip) (Gate clanks and creaks open) (Horses grunt and snort softly) Amy: It's okay. (Horse grunts nervously) There you go. That doesn't hurt, now, does it? (Horse snorts, approaching hooves thud) Matt: You don't think I'd hear about what you're up to? It's a small town! You're just supposed to make sure these horses are healthy. Not break them. Matt, please listen to me. No! No, I should've known you'd go behind my back. Okay, but I have a long list of people seriously considering adopting them. Matt: I ain't interested! Amy: Why not? Matt: Because, quite frankly, I can save time and money sending them to auction. Amy: Matt, please, I don't believe you! Look, these horses, they could have great homes. There are people willing to pay for them. The end result is the same. There's still money in your pocket. Okay, here's the deal. I'm a reasonable man. Amy: Okay... Matt: Do whatever you want with them... But... tomorrow morning, they go to the highest bidder, be it the glue factory or someone who wants to adopt. So... go ahead and rally your troops, but I'll be the one making the final decision. All right. (Truck rumbles, Amy sighs heavily) (Engine idles and shuts off) (Hot water pours) Abby: I understand your husband works in Vancouver. Um, how often is he home? Lou: He travels for work, but that doesn't put a strain on the relationship. A strain? Why do you use that word? Lou: No, no. I said there isn't... a strain. (Pages flip) Abby: Moving on. Um, let's discuss Georgie's recent injury. Can you take me through how that actually happened? Georgie takes trick riding lessons and she was practicing in our ring. You know, I'm surprised someone as young as Georgie's doing such a dangerous sport. Lou: It's not dangerous. Hanging upside down from a galloping horse isn't dangerous? I know, but a lot of girls Georgie's age do it, and the lessons are always highly supervised. Abby: Mm. But to my understanding, it wasn't highly supervised the day Georgie broke her arm, was it, Mrs. Morris? Where were you when it happened? Lou: I was in the house with Katie, but Georgie wasn't alone. She was with her aunt. And in fact, I discovered later that her aunt was encouraging her and egging her on, even though Georgie knew it was against house rules; that Peter and I would never have condoned it. That may be, but the bottom line is... You weren't there to supervise her, were you? Lou: Well, I... Abby: No. You weren't. If her aunt hadn't challenged Georgie in the first place... Abby: Mrs. Morris... Lou, this interview is standard protocol. It's necessary for me to understand why these complaints were made. I think we both know where these complaints have come from. So why can't we just be upfront about it? That's against policy. (Page flips) Peter: Yeah, that's right. I uh... I commute back and forth to Vancouver. Did you know that while you're gone, Georgie is routinely up at dawn, doing chores in the barn that some would consider hard labour? I'm sorry, hard labour? Abby: Some foster children are adopted for reasons other than their well-being. They're thought of sometimes as unpaid household help. Peter: Okay. Do you wanna tell me where you're going with this? That isn't the case here, is it, Mr. Morris? Or were you even aware it was going on? Peter: Uh, we live on a ranch, so Georgie does chores. In fact, we all do chores. She happens to love being out with the horses before school in the morning. It's part of her routine and we couldn't stop her if we tried. So I would hardly call it hard labour. That's insulting. No one's accusing you of anything, Mr. Morris. These are standard questions for clarification. Right, well, I don't think you'd have to ask these questions if you'd done any homework and found out anything about us. How can you take these complaints at face value like this? Honestly. It's ridiculous. I've done everything that's required of me. Jack: Let's get the next one ready for the shoot. (Loud metallic scrape) Jack: Whoa! Settle down there. (Horse snorts nervously) Amy: Whoa... Ty: All right. Amy: That's it. Ty: How many is this? Amy: Five more to go. Whoa... there. Thanks for keeping him calm. You know, this is what I miss the most. Us working together. It's what we always wanted, right? It was a dream. Maybe we just keep it at that. (Loud whinny nearby, hooves thud) Amy: Oh no, he's back. Matt is gonna see him! Jack: Amy! Ty: Amy, be careful! Amy: Go on! Get outta here, you hear me?! (Horse whinnies and stamps) Ty: Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Amy: Go on! (Horse whinnies) Ty: Now, easy. Amy: Go! Just go! Ty: Come on. Come on. Amy: Please, you have to leave. (Grunts and snorts) (Horse whinnies and stamps) (Hooves thunder) Abby: You broke your arm, Georgie. Is it true you did it trick riding? Or was it broken some other way? Georgie: You think I'm abused? Abby: I didn't say that. Why do you say that? Georgie: Look, I know how the game goes. You people are always trying to put words in my mouth, trying to make me say things I don't mean. Abby: Now, that's not true. (Sighs) I want you to feel you can tell me things. You're in a safe place... Georgie: I'm not abused. Okay, I broke my arm when I was doing a trick riding routine for my aunt Crystal. It was my fault. I shouldn't have been doing it with her alone. Lou and Peter don't let me. Abby: Okay. Georgie: Was it my aunt Crystal who complained? Um, Georgie, I can't answer that. Georgie: I bet it was... because she's mad at Lou and Peter because they didn't let her stay and get to know me. You know, I haven't seen her since I was two, and I don't even remember her. But my brother does, and he says that she wasn't very nice, and my mom didn't like her and she was a bad influence on us. Abby: I don't really need to know the whole history. You do! You need to know my aunt just as much as you need to know me because she's the one who's accusing my mom and dad of being bad parents, and it's a lie! You're supposed to be helping us. You're supposed to be helping me. (Crying) [SCENE_BREAK] (Approaching footsteps, door opens) Lou: Okay, so... Peter: So what's the next step here? Abby: Um, I'm afraid I have to review the case further. I'll be in touch. Please stay in town. (Receding footsteps) That's my best offer. Fair enough. Jack: Not as many takers as we'd hoped. Tim: Well, rumour has it that Matt's been telling people the sale was cancelled. Man: Look at this one. Woman: No, I'm not sure about him. Amy: This is a really nice, young colt, okay? He was easily gentled. It's gonna some time to gain his confidence, but he's a hundred percent sound. Good boy. Now if I can do this in a day, imagine what you can do with more time. Now if anyone is interested, please go see Matt and place your bid. (Birds chirp, people chatter) Lou: Why hasn't she called? You know, and Clint... (Phone thumps) picked the worst possible time to be on vacation. Of course, I've left more messages, but they're probably all going to Abby. Peter: Don't go over Abby's head, okay? It's a bad idea. It's just gonna alienate her more. (Dog barks in the distance, knock at the door) (Door opens) (Screen door creaks shut) (Spoon clatters) Crystal: Georgie... (Screen door opens and snaps shut) Amy: I'm getting complaints! People are furious! You're turning down everyone's offer? Why? They're too low! I told you, they go to the highest bidder. Amy: My client offered you twelve hundred dollars. That's way higher than any meat buyer's gonna give you! What is wrong with you?! Will said your father loved those horses! How can you just kill them? Those horses killed my father. Crystal: I understand you're under fire from the CPS. It must be very difficult. You should know since you're the one who instigated the entire thing! Peter: I don't see how you can show your face at our door. Lou: You took the truth and you twisted it into total lies. I believe I had just cause. You tried to keep me from seeing my only niece. I told you, you wouldn't get away with it. But... I can make this all go away. For a price. For a price? (Shocked laugh) I'm sorry, you're blackmailing us! It's hardly blackmail. If you want me out of Georgie's life that much, then I believe I deserve a little compensation. You have my number. Lou: Yeah, I have your number all right, Crystal. (Contemptuous exhale) You call me when you're ready to discuss this. I'm in town. (Screen door creaks open and shut) Jack: Well, they tried, Will. Amy and Ty, they did their best. Will: You know what? I think I'm just getting too old... for all this. I'm sick and tired of fighting. Actually, no. Actually, what I'm sick and tired of is losing. Losing fights, losing them horses... There's not much left to lose anymore. Jack: Nah, that's not true. Will: Oh no? Well, what would you know about it? Look, Sam doesn't come up here to see me no more. Now Joanna's met this guy and she's taking off with him. Lost my best friend this last winter. On top of everything else, my health is totally giving out. Now it's my lungs and don't be telling Joanna. Look, you don't wanna lose anything else, then move! Go with her. It seems pretty simple from where I'm standing. Will: Oh, it seems pretty simple to Mr. High-and-mighty, does it? You're telling me to do something you'd never do yourself. Am I right? Your wife travels, she moves around, but you're "independent." You don't gotta go nowhere. It's a fancy way of saying that you're gonna stay put. People wanna see you, they gotta come where you're at. You're not gonna move anywhere. So don't be giving me advice that you wouldn't take yourself, thank you. Jack: Come on, will... Will: You know what you can help me do? You can help me convince Joanna. That would help. She seems to think that if she leaves me up here by myself, I'm gonna kick the bucket, when it's exactly the reverse that's true. If I have to sell up and move down there with her, that'll kill me sure as sure. It's a death sentence. Jack: Well, I guess you don't wanna hear this, but that's all on you. You gotta explain things to Joanna. Will: It just doesn't go anywhere. She gets all emotional. Well, you know... and then I get riled up and then... it ends there. Jack: Well, I may be wrong about some things, but there's one thing I do know. They're taking those horses away this afternoon. I know it's just something else that you are losing, but... It doesn't mean that you can't go over there and say a proper goodbye. (Light rain patters) (Meat truck rumbles) (Gate clanks, engine shuts off) Matt: Folks, can you move back, please, give us some room. Thanks. (Truck door squeals open) Matt, come on, this isn't right. Will: Just hold on a second, will ya, fellas? Just... give me a second here. I got something I wanna say, although I'm pretty sure Matt here doesn't wanna hear it. Too bad. Now me and Matt's father, Malcolm Pincher, we were pretty good friends, we were neighbours for years. And the thing that we mainly shared was our love for these wild horses right here. As a matter of fact, this is one of Malcolm Pincher's paintings. I'm sure you seen it... At my daughter's place. Have you seen this one, Matt? Look at it. Come on, look at it. Now, do you not see the passion in there? The passion your old man had for these herds that have wandered through these fields forever? These are proud and noble animals, and you know what? They deserve to be able just to run free just as they did. They have that right because they're part of our history, and part of our heritage too. It's a heritage I would not wanna see disappear. What I want is for my grandson and my great grandchildren to be able to watch these horses, as we've done, in their natural habitat. And they're natural habitat is not a paddock. They don't deserve to live like this. They certainly don't deserve to die like this, do they? Matt: Let's go! Load 'em up! (Hooves thud) Matt: Let's go. Rider: Hi-yah! Come on! Rider 2: Come on! Yip, yip! (Hooves thud) Come on, move. Come on. Yah! That's it. Yah! Yah! Come on! That's it, come on! (Horses whinny, hooves thud) Yip-yip-yip! Yah! Hi-yah! Hi-yah! Hi-yah! (Hooves thud) (Men yell out commands) That's the last one. Amy: Matt! You can't do this! I don't know what happened with your father... Matt: No, you don't. Amy: But these horses don't deserve to suffer because of it. What happened, Matt? Please tell me. Matt: He was out there at dawn every morning last winter, and the winter before that, hauling hay, feeding those damn animals in the bitter cold. That's what he was doing that morning, and he dropped dead. Just... gone. He uh... he had years. Amy: He was doing what he loved, and he loved those horses. (Meat truck engine starts) Think of how he would feel watching what's going on today. (Meat truck rumbles, Matt bangs on the door) (Meat truck rumbles away) (Horses grunt, hooves thud) (Low hum of chatter nearby) Amy: (Crying) (Foliage crunches underfoot) Ty: Hey... come here. (Crying) Peter: It's ridiculous. Maybe we should just pay her. Lou: No! Honey, there- there is no way! If we pay Crystal one cent, she's gonna be back again and again, and it won't stop. We have to just call Abby and tell her what's happened. Tell her everything. Peter: It's pointless. It's our word against Crystal's. Abby doesn't seem to value our word very much anyways, does she? Lou: Maybe she doesn't have to. (Painting clunks and rattles against wall) (Door opens, birds chirp outside) Joanna: Hey, dad. Will: Hey. Joanna: I heard you were pretty amazing this morning, in front of that crowd. Will: Hardly. Joanna: (Chuckles) I'm really proud of you. Will: Thanks. Joanna: And dad, I finally get it. Will: Mm... you get what? Joanna: The wild horses, it's... It's kind of about you, too, isn't it? Will: Oh, here we go. Joanna: (Laughs) Will: I think you're kinda reading into things here a little bit. Joanna: I get it, that... You need to be... free and living on your own and being independent. Will: Yeah, sure you do. Joanna: I do, and I respect it. (Sighs) And if that's what you really want, I totally understand. I mean it. Well, thank you. But listen to me now, you know... I think that you should go. If that's what you wanna do, you should just do it. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be just fine. Joanna: I know you will. Will: Okay? But I've been thinking... I might have been a bit hasty putting everything up for sale. What? What if I held on to the hotel and bar, and maybe just kept it open during the summer months, like a resort. And then I'd be up here a few months of the year, and Sam too. And the other fella? Yeah, hopefully. Curtis, the other fella, he'd be here too. What do you think? I think that what you're trying to do is find someway that you can keep an eye on me and I'm trying to tell you, I'm gonna be okay. Yeah, but if I had a place in Okotoks, I could drag you there on the worst days of winter. The worst days of winter, I can't go. That's when those horses need me the most. (Sighs, realizing) Damn. Crystal: Well, I was happy to get your call. I didn't expect it so soon. So, uh, you've decided to accept my offer? Peter: Well, we have to uh... We have to know what it is you're asking for, you understand, before we can... before we can accept. What's to know? It's very simple. If you want me to stay away from Georgie, it will cost you. That's per month. In cash. I don't think the government needs to know about our little arrangement, do you? (Screen door snaps shut) Georgie: What're you doing here? Lou: Georgie... Georgie: How could you do this to my mom and dad? Crystal: Honey, if it wasn't for me, you-you wouldn't know anything about your own family, your real mother and father. Lou and Peter are my real mother and father! I thought that you would like to hear the stories and look at the photo albums and... Georgie: I did, and that was amazing, and I wanted you to be my fairy godmother, (crying) I did. But you tried to take me away from the only people, other than Jeff, that I've ever loved. Someone that loved me would never do that. I hope I never see you again! Crystal: Honey, please! Abby: don't worry, Georgie, your aunt won't be bothering you again. In fact, she's at risk of arrest. (Chuckles nervously) And who are you? I'm the social worker on this case, and I have to tell you criminal charges may be laid for malicious and false accusations. Oh, not to mention soliciting a bribe. (Snorts) Oh... Well, well, well... Aren't you two just so clever. Peter: (Disgusted grunt) Crystal: Well... You're the one who's losing out, Georgie. You just remember that. (Screen door opens and snaps closed) (Car rumbles away, screen door opens) (Screen door snaps shut) You've been cleared. Obviously, no further action will be taken. I'm sorry for all this, Lou. Peter. It's okay, it's over. You... you did your job. Abby: No, I apologize. I acted... Well, I'm kind of new, and I was thrilled to get asked to fill in for Clint while he was on holiday. I guess I was trying to impress him with how thorough I could be on a case. I wish you all the best. Georgie, you have a wonderful family. (Receding footsteps) Peter: (Sighs, then chuckles) Amy: I'm sorry, Will. I know it didn't turn out like you'd hoped. Will: Don't worry. It couldn't be helped. It's the way it goes. (High-pitched whinny) Rider: Yah! Yah! Yah! (Hooves thunder) Rider: Yah! Yah! Yah! (Hooves thunder, horses whinny) Matt: For my father! Rider: Hah! Hah! (Hooves thud, tack jingles) (Horses whinny) (High-pitched whinny) (Horse whinnies in the distance) (Hooves thunder) (Horse whinnies, hooves thunder) (Grunting) (Whinnies and stamps) (Horse whinnies) (Whinnies and stamps) (Snorts softly) (Pants softly) (Horse whinnies, herd whinnies) (Hooves thunder) (Horses whinny) (Screen door snaps shut) (Birds chirp) (Sighs) Well, here's to you dealing with Crystal. (Glasses clink) We did it together, Peter. And I hope I never hear her name again. But, you know, Abby is right. Georgie has an amazing family... And we need to keep it that way. (Kiss) (Birds chirp) (River flows) Ty: The river looks different. Amy: Yeah, it's constantly changing. Do you remember what I uh... what I said before we... took that break? That I had changed. Ty: Yeah. Amy: And you're right, I had. I was a nightmare when I came back from that tour and I don't know how anyone put up with me. You know the other day when... you asked me what I wanted? Yeah. Ty: If you were to ask me that back home, I would've said that I needed to know that we still want the same things; that we still share the same dreams and goals. And now I know that we do. Because these last few days, I've been... I've been watching you and... you are the same girl. You're the same girl that I fell in love with... And more. Because you have changed, and in a great way. And these last few months have been... They've been good for me too because... (Sighs) I discovered something. I discovered that I'm- I'm okay on my own. I am. But I know something else too. I don't wanna do it on my own. Amy, I wanna do it with you. Ty: Okay? Amy: Okay. (Kissing) You made the right decission. Even without my advice. Joanna: I know! I'm so proud of myself. Tim: And good luck with the move, and with your new guy. You were the one who told me years ago that I need to get myself out there and trust people, meet people, and I did it. (Door opens) It's your turn. Thank you. (Light kiss) Amy: I'm so glad you're not selling. Ty: Yeah. There's something about this place. Amy: Yeah, it's pretty magical. Tim: Magical? Didn't I tell ya? Amy: Tell him what? Jack: Are you ready to go? Tim: Ty? (Keys jingle) Joanna: Thanks, guys, for everything. ♪ Hey, hey, hey... ♪ ♪ I wanna run with you ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey, so let them call us fools... ♪ Tim: Hey! Lou: Hey, grandpa! You're back! Jack: Hello. Georgie: Hey, Jack! Katie: GG! Jack: Hi, sweetie! Lou: Dad, I didn't even know you were with them. Are-are you sure you're ready for this? Absolutely. Are you? Amy: Yes. Ty: Yeah? Amy: You first. Ty: No, no, after you. Amy: No! You first. (Kissing) Jack: So... how's everything here? Lou: Well, I don't know where to begin. (Screen door snaps shut) Wait-wait a second. Something's changed. What's going on? Amy: Everything's... Ty: We're-we're good. Amy: Fine. Ty: Yeah. You're getting married, aren't you?! (Gasps) You are, aren't you?! Tell me. Amy: Yeah. (Laughing) Ty: We are. Jack: For real this time? Ty: Yeah. For real. Tim: (Chuckling) Huh? Lou: So, when? When-when are you getting married? Ty: Three months? Amy: (Laughs) Lou: Three months? You guys, how can I plan a wedding in three months! That's not enough time! (Hooves thunder) Forever and ever and ever... Amy: This is about us getting married, not the scenery. Announcer: One marriage coming up. One marriage on the rocks. Promise me you won't mention it. Announcer: Now, hatching a plan for marital bliss. How am I supposed to do that? Announcer: Heartland, next Sunday at 7:00 on CBC.	Plan: A: the balance; Q: What is the fate of the wild horses in? A: a desperate bid; Q: What do Amy and Ty do to save the wild horses? A: Peter; Q: Lou and who form a united front against trumped up child endangerment charges? A: Georgie; Q: Who is shattered when her aunt threatens her future at Heartland? Summary: With the fate of the wild horses in the balance, Amy and Ty make a desperate bid to save them. Lou and Peter form a united front against trumped-up child endangerment charges. Georgie is shattered when her aunt threatens her future at Heartland. Amy and Ty get back together.
Close up of a green-faced, horned demon with red eyes - who starts to sing into a microphone. "First I was afraid. I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights thinking how you done me wrong, and I grew strong. And I learned how to get along." Demon speaking: "Oh, you know what I'm talking about. In this city you better learn to get along. Because LA's got it all: The glamour and the grit, the big breaks and the heartaches, the sweet young lovers and the nasty, ugly, hairy fiends that suck out your brain through your face. It's all part of the big wacky variety show we call - Los Angeles. You never know what's coming next. And lets admit it folks: Isn't that why we love it? (Starts to sing again) I'll survive. I will survive! Hey, hey!" Cordy: "But why, Johnny? Why?" Johnny sighs: "Because it's over." Cordy: "No I love you! I gave you everything. Didn't I?" Johnny picking up a bag: "Yea, and now it's time to move on." Cordy: "No. You can't. You're everything to me. I'm nothing without you baby. - Nothing." Cordy slaps Johnny in the face. Johnny: "Ow. Hey - ow - she hit me!" Cordy: "I threw that in myself. She seems so spineless. Begging this creep not to dump her." Johnny goes and looks through the script book. Acting coach: "That was just amazing! You were Eleanor - body and soul." Johnny: "Hey, where does it say that she hits me?" Coach: "You're on fire, Cordelia. This is exciting work. Lets take it again. And put the focus on how conflicted you... (Cordy's beeper goes off - 911) Cordelia..." Cordy picks up her bag to leave: "Sorry. Duty calls." Wesley is playing darts in a bar against two other guys while a pretty blonde looks on admiringly. Wesley: "Sorry lads. I'll give you a rematch (his beeper goes off - 911) but it'll have to be another time." Wesley picks up a wad of cash from the table and looks over at the smiling blonde. Throws a dart in the general direction of the board without looking. Man off screen: "Ow!" The smile fading from his face, Wesley leaves. Angel, Wesley and Cordy stride into a big gym. Attendant: "Can I help you?" Angel and Co. never break stride, and the guy follows them through the gym. Attendant: "I'm sorry this club is for members and their guests only." Angel: "Yeah, well, I'm thinking of joining." Attendant: "Excuse me! But you can't come in here without a membership or a guest pass!" Cordy: "Are you sure we're in the right place?" Wesley: "This is a tad public for a Praetorian sacrifice." Angel: "The quadrants match. It's a Carnyss demon and they love muscles and mirrors." They come to a stop the attendant still behind them. Attendant: "Hey, listen! I'm not fooling around. I will call the pol..." Notices that Angel doesn't reflect in the wall of mirrors before which they are standing. Angel glances back at him: "Huh. No reflection. I'll fix that." Angel kicks in the mirror and steps through surprising a red robbed human and a demon with sword raised to sacrifice two bound and gagged humans. Angel vamping out: "Stop that." Angel bats the charging human against a wall and begins to fight the demon with the sword. Wesley ducks or deflects a couple punches from the human, then hits him with a right cross, knees him in the stomach and drops him on the floor. Nods to Cordelia, who drops a round metal weight on the guy's head, knocking him out. Angel manages to take the sword away from the demon and stabs it through the heart with it. The attendant slowly walks closer to the broken mirror and looks into the room beyond it. Angel and Co are freeing the sacrifices then they walk back out into the gym. Attendant staring: "That guy has horns." Angel (back in human face) as they walk past: "Steroids. Not good for you." Intro Inside Cordelia's apartment the camera pans across a whiteboard with 'cases,' 'leads,' 'progress' and 'status' written across the top. The first line under that reads (as best as I can make it out) Zaroh (crossed out), first seen 10/7 killed 2 police officers, beheaded - reborn - torched, closed. Also listed are Vocah, Sloth, Khee Shak, an Ethros, Vartite, Konsoo and the Carnyss demon from the night before. Wesley: "I'm beginning to think it was the sloth demon." Cordy writing on board: "Sloth demons don't sacrifice adolescents, Wesley. It was a Carnyss. You I.D. it." Wesley: "No, I don't mean the demon we killed last night. I mean the one we..." Angel playing with some glass figurines Cordy has sitting on a shelf: "That was a nice gym." Wesley: "...incinerated a month ago. I think that's what Wolfram and Hart raised in that box when Angel was fighting Vocah." Angel: "The thing about a gym is that you're not alone. You've got people around. That encourages you to work out." Cordy takes the glass figure away from him and sets it back on the shelf. Cordy: "You don't have to work out. You're eternal." Angel: "I may not always be." Cordy: "It was the Vartite monster. (Angel picks up a glass unicorn as Cordy turns back to arguing with Wesley) It took two days to kill that thing! It's got Wolfram and Hart written all over it." Angel: "You got your steam. You got your sauna. You got fresh towels. I mean, how bad could it be?" Cordy: "You shower with a lot of men." Angel: "I'll always be a loner." Cordy holds up a finger and scrunches up her face. Angel drops the figurine and hurries to catch her. Angel and Wesley: "Vision." Cordelia sneezes as the guys hover around her. Cordy: "Just a sneeze." Angel and Wesley turn away: "Oh." Cordy: "Oh?!" Angel: "I mean, bless you. (Turns to the broken figurine on the floor) Sorry about this." Cordy: "Why can't we work out of Wes's?" Angel: "We're getting a new office. I just haven't..." Cordy holds up a finger and scrunches up her face again: "Sneeze. (Sneezes) - Followed by vision." Angel and Wesley jump to her side and catch her. After the vision of a blurry gray monster face is over she is sitting on the sofa, Angel kneeling in front of her. Angel: "Are you alright?" Cordy: "I'll survive." Wesley at the whiteboard: "What have we got?" Cordy: "A nasty looking demon. Didn't recognize it." Wesley writes 'N. D. U. O.' "Nasty Demon, Unknown Origin." Angel: "There's an awful lot of that in this town. I'm sure he'll feel right at home here." Cut to Wolfram and Hart. Lilah to cell phone as she walks the corridor: "You have every right to review the contract. I encourage it. We'll talk on Monday. - Of course if you don't sign we'll sue your ass off and kill your children. - Just kidding, Donald. No one wants a law suit." Closes the phone and enters a dark room. Lilah: "Wow. It's nice and gloomy in here. (Lindsey is having trouble opening a CD case with his new prosthetic hand - drops it) You're not handicapped - you're handi-capable." Lindsey: "She likes Chopin and Brahms. She's not too fond of the Russians." Lilah turns to where Darla is inspecting an old-fashioned globe. Lilah: "Hello, Darla. How are you doing today? Feeling any better? It's a beautiful day outside." Lindsey: "Lilah, shut up. She's not a child. She's 400 years old." Darla hums along with the music: "Hmm, the prelude." Lindsey inhales: "In C-minor. The preludes and the nocturnes." Darla: "So much better than the waltzes. - He had consumption." Lindsey: "And died way too soon. A lot of that going around." Darla breathes deeply: "Hm. He's here." Lilah: "Chopin?" Lindsey: "Angel. He's here in town. You can feel him." Darla: "Always could." Lindsey: "He hasn't been much of a help to us." Darla: "He killed me. (Laughs) I remember now - with a soul in his heart." Lindsey: "He's taken from both of us - so when you feel ready - we'll start thinking about giving a little back." Darla: "Angel - it's been a long time. - I'd love to see that boy." Angel is sketching the demon from Cordy's vision. Cordy: "The eyes are a little further apart. (Angel adjusts the drawing) They look right through you. I-I don't think this guy is afraid of much." Angel: "Wes, I'm thinking northern Pakistan, Hindu Kush..." Wesley: "Right. Or maybe the Tien Shenin in Kazakhstan. Which means I need Suleman's Compendium." As he walks towards the books, one of them flies up and hits him. Wesley lets out a surprised yell. Cordy: "Don't yell like that! You'll scare him." Wesley: "Scare him?" Cordy: "Dennis is very sensitive. He's just trying to help! He's more a person than a g-h-o-s-t." Wesley to Angel: "We have to get an office." Wesley flips some pages, and Cordy lets out a scream, startling another yell out of Wes. Cordy points at a picture in the book: "There! There!" Wesley: "Prio Motu demon. It's a killer." Angel taking the book: "Ancient Ofga-beast, bred to maim and massacre." Cordy: "Oh, goody. A pit bull." Angel gets up: "Okay. (Starts to write on the whiteboard) Now we know what we're dealing with." Wesley: "Prio Motu." Angel: "Now we need to find it. Right now we got to narrow it down to somewhere." Wesley: "I may be able to help us with that. I've been broadening our contact base. Reaching out to the underlife. I may have someone who can help." Angel: "Who?" Wesley: "A parasite demon named Merl." Cordy: "Maybe it's time we pay your stoolie a little visit. Make with the chin-music (raises her fist) until he canaries. (Angel and Wes look at her) I've been watching a little noir festival on Bravo." Wes: "There is a place he hangs out. A safe haven for demons. I've been meaning to take you there. I think it may be of use to us - but..." Angel: "But what?" Wes: "It's a little outside the box." Demon (think Cribb from the Ring) singing: "I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. I like it. Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen. " Camera pans across the floor showing both demon and human customers sitting at tables. A sign reads 'no violence or weapons.' A guy steps through a metal detector (which beeps) and a bouncer takes a weapon away from him before making step through it again. Demon: "Tonight we put all other things aside. Give in this time and show me some affection. (The green, horned demon from the teaser circulates among the customers) We're going for those pleasures in the night. (One of the Earshot demons steps through the detector, followed by Wesley, Cordy and Angel.) I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you. I want to squeeze you, please you. I just can't get enough and if you move real slow, I'll let it go! I'm so excited..." Cordy: "Your stool pigeon feels safe in a Karaoke bar?" Wes: "In this one he does. It's a sanctuary." The green demon goes up on the stage and finishes the song together with the lizard demon. The crowd applauds. Host: "Well, move over Pointer Sisters! That was cooking! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. Well, I'm gonna have a word with Liz here. Don't go anywhere! Coming right up, Mordar the Bentback will be callin' the tune with a personal favorite of mine. Make him feel welcome!" A furry, horned creature takes the mike and starts crooning, while the host leads Liz over to the side. Host: "Well, I can see someone is feeling pretty zippy. Liz, I know it's hatching time and you're looking forward to that. But there is more to life than eating your young! Now let me tell you what I see in your aura..." Ugly, gray, bald demon is sitting at a table. Wesley sits down next to him. Wes: "Hello, Merl." Cordy: "Cat got your tongue, Merl?" Merl: "I don't have a tongue." Cordy: "Oh." Angel leans down next to him. Merl: "And, uh, keep the bloodsucker away from me." Wes: "He can't hurt you in here." Merl: "I know his rep, okay? He eats his own kind. Beating on demons wherever he finds 'em." Angel: "Especially when they waste my time." Wesley slides an envelope with money across the table. Wes: "We're looking for the Prio Motu." Merl looks at the money: "Woah, woah, woah! You've obviously never seen one up close. I mean Prios are stone cold killers. They've got these teeth that'll, uhm... You gotta sweeten this - a whole lot. And keep my name..." Wesley puts some more money on top of the envelope. Merl takes it. Merl: "This Prio you're looking for, he don't like it above ground. So he'll be traveling in one of those sub-tunnels of the Rodondo line. (Angel starts to leave) Prios are nasty. Not some big mosquito like you, turns to dust whenever you stake it. Best of luck, though." Angel turns to leave. Almost runs into the host. Host: "Love the coat. It's all about the coat. Welcome to Caritas. You know what that means?" Angel: "It's Latin for mercy." Host: "Smart and cute. How about gracing us with a number?" Angel: "I don't sing." Host: "Neither does Mordar the Bentback! That cat's a foghorn on two legs." Cordy to Wes: "Who is this guy?" Wes: "He's, uh, anagogic." Cordy: "Really? He looks like he's eating enough." Wes: "Psychic. He's connected to the mystic. When you sing you bare you soul. He sees into it." Host: "This isn't about your pipes, bro. It's about your spirit. I can't read you unless you sing!" Angel: "I don't sing." Cordy: "Come on, Angel. I wanna hear you sing." Angel: "No." Wes: "It would be for a good cause. We might learn something." Angel: "Who's the boss here?" Host: "I know you're feeling smooth, in the groove. Isn't that the thing that comes before a fall?" Angel as they all look at him: "There are three things I don't do: Tan, date - and sing in public!" Angel walks out. Host: "See you around. - How fabulous would I look in that coat?" Angel is walking through some tunnels. Hears a noise and moves against the corner to an intersecting tunnel. A pregnant woman hurries down the tunnel, holding one hand over her belly. Angel steps out and she gasps in shock. Angel: "Hey. It's okay. I won't hurt you. Are you alright?" She just looks up at him. The Prio comes charging around a corner with a growl, and Angel pushes the woman aside. Angel: "Look out!" A fight ensues with the woman watching from the sidelines. They are pretty evenly matched. In the end Angel gets the Prio in a chokehold and breaks its neck. Angel: "It's all right. He's dead." Woman walks over to the dead demon: "What did you do? Oh my God! (Strokes the dead demon's face) What have you done?" The woman closes the dead demon's eyes, sobbing quietly. Angel: "I didn't... I thought he was gonna hurt you!" Woman: "He was my protector! (Angel tries to help her as she gets up) Stay away from me!" Angel: "I'm sorry. I was sent here to... I'm not exactly sure, but..." Woman: "You were sent here?" Angel: "By the Powers That - it's a long story. - I help people." Woman: "You're joking, right? (Walks off, holding her belly, sobbing) God, I hate this town!" Angel follows her: "I'm really... What was he protecting you from?" Woman: "Things you couldn't handle!" Angel: "Like what?" Woman: "Like the Tribunal. - Look. I don't know who you are - or what your deal is. And I don't care! He was my protector. I had one friend in this world and you killed him! Now, you stay the hell away from me." Angel watches her leave. Wesley: "He was good?" Angel nods slowly: "Yeah." Cordy: "And you - (makes a cracking sound)." Angel looks at her: "Yeah." Cordy: "Ooh. Well. That's bad. (Angel looks away) Which of course you already... Right." Angel gets up: "He was a demon. I just assumed..." Wesley: "Well, why wouldn't you? Cordelia said he was a nasty demon." Cordy: "Well, he looked nasty! I didn't say he was a killer, you did!" Wesley: "That's what Prio Motus are! They hunt. They kill. What, we're supposed to think a creature like that can suddenly change its modus operandi overnight? Turn into some noble protector and...(looks at Angel, who's standing with his back to them) defender of... Oh, God." Cordy: "I didn't feel any fear when I saw him. Angel was probably supposed to help him not... (sighs) Thanks for the obscure visions! We're doing great with that." Angel shaking his head: "I killed an innocent being. He was a soldier like me. Whatever his mission is it's mine now." Angel goes to put on his coat. Cordy: "Well, that's a start! You said he was protecting a pregnant woman." Angel: "From something called the Tribunal. I want you two to find out what that is." Wes: "We will. (As Angel is about to leave) Angel! (Angel stops but doesn't turn around) You didn't know." Angel: "I'm thinking somebody did." Merl, the stoolie, smashes against a chain-link fence. Angel: "You're not on protected ground tonight, Merl." Merl: "What do you want?" Angel: "The truth." Merl: "I told you where to find him!" Angel: "Not a whole lot of time tonight! Why'd you lie about the Prio?" Merl: "There is a price on the woman." Angel: "The woman or the baby?" Merl: "Yeah, the kid. A daughter. She's supposed to be some powerful, benevolent... I don't know! The dark ones they want her out of the picture. So it's two for one with the mom! The local brokers, they're offering hard cash. But no one can get close enough with that Prio around. You know, now that he is out of the picture you and I could..." Angel smashed Merl into the fence again. Angel: "Where is she?" Merl: "Look, if I knew, would I be hanging around here, getting strangled by you?" Angel: "Put the word out. No one touches the woman." Merl: "It's a too little late for that. You know how many beast are out there after her by now?" Angel: "Where did the Prio live?" Merl: "I don't know. I don't know exactly. Boyle Heights. Somewhere underground, near the water and power. (Angel throws him into the fence again and leaves) Kind of an iffy part of town, if you know what I'm saying?" [SCENE_BREAK] Four young men (two with their hoods up) walk around a corner as a guy gets ready to get into his nice car. He sees them and starts to run off. Man: "Just take the car!" The four men run after him. Leader: "Hey, look out!" Man looks back. As he turns back around he runs right into a vampire. The vampire is about to bite him, when the lead guy pushes back his hood and pulls out a stake. It's Gunn. He knocks the vampire off the guy and quickly stakes him. Man points at where the vamp just turned to dust unable to get a whole word out. Gunn: "You should probably go home now." Man looks at Gunn, who motions with his eyes back to where his car is parked. After a beat the guy takes off full speed. Gunn: "Ah, you're welcome?" Angel: "People now a days. Would it kill him to say thank you?" Gunn puts the stake away: "Angel." Angel: "Been a while. You well?" Gunn: "Picture of health and harmony. - Look at you, dog! You haven't aged a bit!" Angel: "I got a situation." Gunn: "So much for the small talk. (to the other three) Sweep Olympic up to Broadway and I'll hook up with y'all back at the crib." Angel walking beside Gunn: "Where is home nowadays?" Gunn: "Friendly landlord off eighth. We keep the block safe for democracy, he hooks us up with the rent." Angel: "You ever hear of a Prio Motu?" Gunn: "Is that like a '62 Chevy with the big cam? (Angel looks at him) Alright. I could have just said no." Angel: "It's a warrior demon. He was living down here." Gunn: "Well, isn't that nice? I thought all we had to dodge was roaches and vampires! What is this demon up to?" Angel: "Not much. He's dead. But I wanna find out where he was living. It'd be underground somewhere near the D.W.P." Gunn: "Well, I know all the pockets. And I'm getting the sense that you wanna do this now." Angel: "It's kind of urgent." Angel and Gunn are walking through some tunnels. Angel: "How deep are these?" Gunn: "Pretty deep, bro. We cleaned a vampire nest out of here last year. We've been patrolling it on occasion ever since. This Prio Motu guy, what was he up to?" Angel: "He was protecting a young pregnant woman." Gunn: "He was on our side?" Angel: "Yeah." Gunn: "Well, did you find the scumbag that killed him?" Angel: "I'm the scumbag that killed him." Gunn: "Oh. (Notices a vent in the wall) Oh, look. Hold on. That wasn't there before." They walk over to it. Gunn: "You feel any air coming out of this vent? - I don't feel no air." Gunn finds a latch at the side and pulls it open. They walk in, closing it behind them. Gunn: "The guy kept a neat house." Angel picks up a book: "Kamal." Gunn: "What's that?" Angel: "That was his name. Gunn..." Angel goes to open a carved box. Closes it again and lays his hands against its sides. Gunn: "We supposed to be looking for something? (Angel pulls open a hidden drawer and takes out a round metal disk.) Like that?" Angel: "I hate to ask, but..." Gunn: "Night's still young. What you need?" Angel hands him his business card: "I work with a couple people at this address. The one on the back. (Gunn takes the card. Angel holds out the disk) I need them to see this right away. Tell them it might have something to do with the Tribunal." Gunn: "The Tribunal. Got it. - What, you're gonna hang here and soak up the guilt?" Angel: "Something like that." Gunn leaves. Angel walks around picking up a mortar. Flash to the fight. Back to Angel. Sees a Buddha statue. Flash to the fight. He replaces the candle in front of it with a new one and lights it. He hears a noise. Picks up a sword. The door opens and Angel jumps out pointing his sword straight at - the pregnant woman coming down the steps. Angel: "You're safe. (Looks at his sword and puts it down) That's good." Woman, walking down the steps: "You shouldn't be here. You don't have the right." Angel: "Oh, I know. It's - not really my choice, either. Kamal's mission is mine now." Woman: "You sound just like him! You guys with your missions, and ancient laws, and medieval codes of honor! Well, I'm not interested. I'm just trying to protect my baby." Angel: "I understand." Woman: "How could you? I don't even understand it! - I mean, six months ago I'm working the register at Costco. I did my time as a stock-girl and I was moving up. I was gonna be able to provide for my baby. Now all I wanna do is make sure she gets born." Angel: "Well, I want that too." Woman: "Right. Right. Because she is some seer, or leader or Joan of Arc. Well, you know what she is to me? - My daughter. Not someone's holy mission." Angel: "It's not exactly that - it's - sort of my job." Woman: "Your job?" Angel: "Yeah. Look! I got cards - and an office. Well, the office kind of blew up, but we're working out of this other apartment in Silverlake, temporarily. (Woman takes a card and looks at it) - Let me help you. - Let me help your daughter." Woman: "We need to find the coat of arms. Kamal said I needed to present it to the Tribunal and maybe if I do they call this whole thing... What?" Angel: "It wouldn't be a round bronze talisman. Oh, say, about this big?" Woman: "Yes." Angel: "Heh. I already found it." Woman smiling: "Yeah? Where is it? (Her smile fades as she looks at Angel) What?" Angel: "Well, I don't exactly have it right here on my person. I though it was best to (she walks past him and up the steps) I know where it is. I-I can take you there. (Angel follows her) The address on the back of the card..." Woman: "Do me a favor? - Stop helping!" She opens the door and there is a demon there waiting to take a swipe at her. Angel and the demon fight. Angel to woman: "Get back! - (Between fighting moves) I can kill this thing, right?" Woman: "Yes!" Angel: "You're sure? You don't - think - he might - be good?" Woman: "Kill it!" Angel does by throwing it into the doorway and slamming the door into it. We hear more growling. Angel: "I think we should - run." Wes and Cordy are researching at her apartment. There is a knock on the door. Cordy gets up: "Who is it?" Gunn: "Gunn." Wesley gets up: "What was that?" Cordy: "Something about a gun. What if it's a demon with a gun?" Wesley: "Listen up, whoever you are, we are well armed and we know how to do battle, so if you know what's good for you..." Gunn through the door: "My name is Gunn. Angel sent me." Cordy opens the door: "Well, this is a little embarrassing. Please, come in. Come in. (Gunn walks in.) Wesley, you've heard Angel talk about Gunn. He's a great guy with a really fly street tag." Wes: "What's he fly?" Cordy: "It's how they know you on the street, dorko. Gun. It really lets them know you mean business." Gunn: "It's my name. Charles Gunn. Two 'n.'" Cordy: "Oh, lord, will no one shut me up?" Wesley offers his hand: "Uh, I'm Wesley Wyndam (Gunn turns away and looks at the whiteboard) Price and this is Cordelia Chase." Cordy: "It's nice to finally meet." Gunn: "I've seen you before." Cordy: "Really? The Tan'n'screen commercials!" Gunn: " I saw you in bed." Cordy: "What?" Wesley: "Ah, I-I can see this is none of my business..." Gunn: "You, too." Wesley: "Now, just a moment!" Gunn: "In the hospital - after Angel's building blew? He sent me there to keep an eye on you two." Cordy: "Right." Gunn: "I'm just messing with y'all. I was hoping for some demon fighting tonight, but I wound up with a delivery job instead. (Hands the talisman to Wesley) Angel said it might have something to do with the tribunal." Wesley: "Well, this could be an emblem, or - some sort of protective amulet." Gunn points at the board: "These all the cases y'all got going? Isn't this the well oiled machine." Cordy: "We set them up, we knock them down. Or we did, until Angel knocked down the wrong... I'm sure he is getting on top of it now." Angel is leading the woman through the sewers. He stops and looks around. Woman: "What?" Angel: "This way." They come up through a grate into the basement of a building. Woman: "Where are we?" Angel: "Come on." The walk up the stairs into what looks like a deserted hotel lobby, the furniture covered with sheets. Woman, watching Angel look around: "You've been here before. - Uh! It feels creepy." Angel: "Yeah. What's the Tribunal?" Woman: "Some kind of otherworldly court. Supposedly they can save me and my daughter. You - you go before them, you got to have that charm... I don't know how it works. Kamal said that he was gonna be my champion. - You know what? Screw this! I'm getting out of town!" Angel: "No!" Woman: "Try and stop me." Angel: "They'll find you wherever you go. You have to stay with me." Woman: "You? You can't protect me!" Angel: "Yes, I can. We're gonna go to my friend's house. We're gonna get that charm and I'm gonna make this right, I promise. There is a gate in the back... (Hears some noise) go to the address I gave you. Go!" The woman runs as Angel is attacked by two demons. Angel walks into Cordelia's apartment. Cordy and Wesley jump up from the table. Cordy: "Angel! Are you all right? (Takes in his appearance) What happened?" Angel: "Is she here?" Cordy: "The pregnant woman? No. - Gunn, brought us the talisman, but..." Angel looks at Wesley. Wesley goes back to his books: "Working on it." Angel: "I told her to come here. - She doesn't trust me. - Why should she?" Angel hits the whiteboard. Cordy: "You can't see everything. You're just a vampire like everyone else... That didn't come out right." Angel: "I thought I was out of the tunnel." Angel slumps down on the sofa. Cordy: "Sure you did... because the tunnel is - you know, it's something we all... Are we talking real tunnel or symbolic? Just give me that much." Angel: "I-I saw the light at the end of the tunnel - that some day I might become human. - - That light was so bright, I thought I was already out." Cordy sits down beside him with a sigh: "Yeah. We all got a little cocky, didn't we? - It's gonna be a long while - until you work your way out - but I know you well enough to know you will. - And I'll be with you until you do." Angel: "What about your inevitable stardom?" Cordy: "I'm not saying I won't have a day job." Wesley: "I think we got something. It's medieval. A small badge or coat of arms, to be presented when going before the Cahair Binse. Roughly translated that's chair of judgement." Angel: "The Tribunal." Wes: "Right. An ancient court to settle grievances." Cordy: "You mean- with like lawyers and stuff." Wes: "This is a little more primitive. It's a fight to the death." Angel: "That's why she needed a champion. Where would this Tribunal take place?" Wes: "There is no way to tell. They're mystical events, they could rise up in our reality whenever they please." Angel: "Look, we got to find her right away - whatever it takes. - There's only one way." Angel singing: "Oh, Mandy. Well you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away, oh Mandy. Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. (The green, horned host is watching him sing) and I need you today, oh Mandy. (Angel looks around at the demons in the audience and his singing gets a lot worse) Well, you came and you gave.." Cordy sitting beside Wesley at a table: "That man will do anything to save a life." Finally the host goes up and takes the mike away from Angel as the song ends. Host: "Hey, how 'bout that. A performer. Why don't we just call him Angel, the vampire with soul. I'm gonna have a chat with Mr. Tall Dark and Rockin' and meanwhile, Durthock, the child-eater, is gonna open up to y'all. He's searching for the gorrishyn mage that stole his power and he's feeling just a little bit country. So, lets give him a hand." Host leads Angel off the stage. Host: "Well. You're just the hot ticket. One night only, two seats left, partially obstructed view." They sit down at a table. Angel: "What can you tell me?" Host: "I can tell you're all business." Angel: "She's in danger." Host: "And you're feeling pretty guilty about that. Hey, you made an honest mistake. You killed her protector. A lot of guys would have done the same. Of course now she's gonna have to face the judgement with no champion and that's looking grim for her and the baby." Angel: "Tell me where they are." Host: "Well. Who's a little curt? Who's a little curt Jurgens in 'The Enemy Below?' The Tribunal will be wherever she is. She can't escape it." Angel: "Where is she?" Host: "My question first. And answer true, because you know I'll know. Why Mandy?" Angel: "Well, I-I know the words - (leans in closer) - I kind of think it's pretty." Host smiling: "And it is, you great, big sap! There is not a destroyer of worlds that can argue with Manilow and good for you for fessin' up. She'll be at Forth and Spring. The trial will be there." Angel: "Trial? How does it work?" Host: "I can only tell you what I tell you. The rest is up to you." Angel gets up to leave. Angel: "Can I save her?" Host: "Try - and find out." The pregnant woman is hurrying down an almost empty street at night, one hand on her belly. Suddenly three stone thrones occupied by dark robbed figures rise out of the ground behind her. A horse whinnies and a knight in armor rides up the street towards them. The knight throws down a bronze disk. Judge: "Where is your champion?" Woman: "He's-he's dead." Judge: "You have no coat of arms and no champion?" Woman: "I ask for asylum." Judge: "Asylum is not ours to give. Two are chosen to meet in combat. One can save your life. One can take it. This is the ancient law. Your life is forfeit. You have no champion." The knight pulls his sword as the woman backs away. A bronze disk lands on top of the other one. Angel: "Yes, she does." Judge: "The trial by combat will begin." Woman walking beside Angel: "I really appreciate you coming through for us like this. But you know how you're not really good at anything? You sure you can do this?" Angel: "I grew up around horses." Woman: "How long has it been since you've ridden one?" Angel: "It's been a while. Don't worry. It's not something you forget. I can do this." The woman walks over to the side as Angel steps up close to the horse. Angel: "Nice horse. Try not to make me look stupid out there, okay? - Alright." Angel mounts the horse and take up the shield and lance. The middle judge drops a red cloth and the knight charges. Angel: "I guess that means go." They charge, clash, but though the demon gets knocked back he stays in the saddle. They turn and charge at each other again. Angel gets knocked clear off his horse and lands flat on his back on the street. Angel picks himself up and hurries to his horse to get his sword and mace while the other knight drops his lance pulls his sword and rides at him. Angel knocks him out of the saddle with one blow and they continue fighting on foot, sword to sword. After some fast and furious exchanges the demon knight turns Angel's sword so it stabs Angel through the gut. Angel drops down onto his knees and one hand, the other clutching the sword. The demon knight turns towards the Tribunal. Judge: "The champion is defeated. She and all her issue are yours." The demon draws a knife and moves to slit the woman's throat as Angel gets up, pulling the sword from his body. Angel: "I move to appeal that ruling." He beheads the demon with one clean sweep. Then drops the sword and stands there, panting. Angel: "She's safe now, right?" Judge: "You have won. She is under our protection, as is her daughter until she comes of age." With that the Tribunal vanishes as if had never been. The woman: "You okay?" Angel straightens up, still panting, and limps off the street. Angel: "Yeah." Woman walking beside him: "You sure seem to bleed a lot." Angel: "It's part of the job." At Cordy's apartment Angel takes down the whiteboard. Wesley: "Good idea. Start over with a fresh slate." Angel: "Actually, we're starting over with no slate." Wesley: "Of course. We shouldn't be keeping score. We're not running a race - we're doing a job - one soul at a time." Angel: "You guys hold the fort. I've somewhere to be." Angel picks up the phone at a prison visitor booth. Angel: "Hey." Faith: "Hey." Angel: "How you doing?" Faith: "Pretty good, I guess. I did sign up for this." Angel: "Regretting the choice?" Faith: "Bad day. One of the girls in the yard tried to build a rep by throwing down with me. She had low self esteem, and a home-made knife, so.." Angel: "Oh. - Is she - you know - alive?" Faith: "She lives to tell the tale. Took the knife away - and I can't say much for the wrist it came in." Angel: "So you didn't kill her." Faith: "I really wanted to. - Took a big beating from the guards, too." Angel: "Sorry." Faith: "Earned worse. Guys like us kind of got it coming." Angel: "I had to sing Barry Manilow." Faith: "You're kidding." Angel: "In front of people." Faith trying not to laugh: "And here I am talking about my petty little problems." Angel: "Just wanted to give you a little perspective." Faith: "Copa cabana?" Angel: "Mandy. I don't wanna dwell on it." Faith: "The road to redemption is a rocky path." Angel: "That it is." Faith: "You think we might make it?" Angel: "We might. - - Food getting any better?" Faith: "You know, it's not that different from what I grew up on. It's a little one note. Eating the same thing every day." Angel: "I wonder what that's like." Faith: "Right.."	Plan: A: Cordy; Q: Whose visions did Angel misinterpret? A: her demon protector; Q: What did Angel accidentally kill when he tried to help a pregnant woman? A: the dead warrior's mission; Q: What must Angel fulfill to save the woman's unborn child? A: a battle; Q: What must Angel fight to save the woman's unborn child? A: the woman; Q: Who runs off after Angel accidentally kills her demon protector? A: the woman's unborn baby; Q: What must Angel save? A: a karaoke bar; Q: Where does Angel sing to find the woman? Summary: Misinterpreting one of Cordy's visions, Angel tries to help a pregnant woman and accidentally kills her demon protector. Now, Angel must fulfill the dead warrior's mission and fight a battle to save the woman's unborn baby. When the woman runs off though, Angel is forced to make an incredible sacrifice to find her again... He has to sing at a karaoke bar.
THE CRUSADE - EPISODE 1 DAVID WHITAKER first broadcast - 27th March 1965 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. EXTERIOR OF A SMALL WOOD OUTSIDE OF JAFFA (Two knights in hunting gear, with daggers and swords, walk through the wood, looking about cautiously. After they have passed, a Saracen steps out from a nearby bush, bow in hand. He slips an arrow into place, and bending the bow, takes aim at the retreating knights. Another Saracen, El Akir, steps out of the bushes and holds the bowman's arm. El Akir is in his late 30s and is a man of great power.) EL AKIR: No! Not yet! One of them may be the King. Follow them and listen. (The soldier nods, replaces his arrow, and moves off after the two knights. El Akir follows him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2. EXTERIOR OF ANOTHER PART OF THE WOOD (A hawk rests on the outstretched arm of King Richard. He is in his early 30s and has red hair. He slips a small leather bag over the hunting bird's head.) RICHARD: We are the only day and night for you, hunter. (Two knights, Reynier de Marun and William de Tornebu, are with Richard. De Tornebu is kneeling on the ground, attempting to mend the clasp on a bejeweled gold belt. De Marun is standing against a tree looking at the King.) DE MARUN: I wish that I were a hawk, Sire, and Saladin my prey. RICHARD: (Laughing.) Hmm. Now there's a subject for our troubadours and actors. Speak to the Chamberlain about it, I beg you, de Marun. DE MARUN: I will, my lord. I will have the players call the entertainment "The Defeat of Saladin, the Sparrow of the East". RICHARD: (Laughing.) Hmm, hmm. Well, it will help us to pass these weary waiting nights at Jaffa. (He glances down at de Tournebu who is still trying to close the clasp of the belt.) RICHARD: Here's a man devoted to his work. DE TORNEBU: A beautiful thing, Sire, but it has a stubborn streak. The clasp is faulty and needs hot spears to make it pliable. RICHARD: Perhaps I should ride with craftsmen and leave my knights at home. (As the knights laugh at the King's remark, William des Preaux, another knight, breaks through the bushes into the clearing, sword in hand.) DES PREAUX: Your Majesty... RICHARD: (Emphatically.) No, des Preaux, I will not fight today. DE MARUN: Or do you mean to slay us all? DE TORNEBU: And eat us for his dinner, from the look of him. DES PREAUX: Sire, I've heard sounds in these woods. DE MARUN: I have heard nothing... DE TORNEBU: What sort of sounds? RICHARD: Let the man speak! DES PREAUX: I fear this wood, Sire! You're too far from Jaffa and the Saracens too near. RICHARD: Have you seen any? DES PREAUX: No. But I sense them about us! This wood might have been designed for ambush. (The King strokes the back of his hawk.) RICHARD: What, des Preaux? Would you see danger in your own shadow? DE TORNEBU: I have put the brothers de L'Etabe with the horses, Sire. And all is ready for the return to Jaffa. (Aware of the King's cold stare, de Tornebu shifts uncomfortably and continues cautiously.) DE TORNEBU: If your Majesty desires to go. RICHARD: We will stay here until, William the Wary, you recover your composure. And, I hope, your sense of humor. (All laugh except for de Tornebu.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. EXTERIOR OF THICK BUSHES (El Akir and a Saracen soldier watch the King and his three knights from the bushes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. EXTERIOR OF ANOTHER PART OF THE WOOD (Ian spreads the bushes aside and looks around. Barbara is just behind him and further back The Doctor and Vicki are emerging from the TARDIS.) IAN: I'll just take a look around. (Barbara follows Ian through the bushes.) THE DOCTOR: Yes, yes. [SCENE_BREAK] 5. EXTERIOR OF A CLEARING IN THE WOODS (Ian moves into a clearing followed by Barbara. A Saracen appears brandishing a sword and advances on Ian as Barbara backs away.) IAN: Barbara. (A fight between the knights and the Saracens is heard in the background. Suddenly The Doctor appears from the bushes behind the Saracen.) THE DOCTOR: Good afternoon! (The Saracen spins around, and Ian seizes the opportunity to move in on him. A hand goes over Barbara's mouth, and she is pulled back, unnoticed by the others, into the bushes. Ian struggles with the Saracen bringing him to the ground, but it is The Doctor who delivers the decisive blow, bringing a shield down over the Saracen's head.) THE DOCTOR: (To Ian.) What is all this? Who is it? How did he attack you? Why did he attack you? IAN: I tell you, I didn't stop to ask him. (Vicki emerges.) VICKI: What's going on? Where are we? THE DOCTOR: Ssh! (The sounds of nearby battle pierce the silence of the wood.) IAN: Sounds to me as if he's got some friends. THE DOCTOR: Hmm, come on. Come along. (The Doctor leans over the unconscious Saracen, intending to drag him into the bushes.) VICKI: But who is he? THE DOCTOR: Come away child... Out of one trouble into another! (Ian looks around and with alarm realizes that Barbara is missing.) IAN: Barbara. Barbara! Barbara! [SCENE_BREAK] 6. EXTERIOR OF A BUSH IAN: (OOV.) Barbara! (With a gag over her mouth, Barbara is face down, her hands being tied behind her back by a Saracen.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7. EXTERIOR OF A CLEARING IN THE WOODS (The King and his party move through the bushes on retreat from the Saracens.) IAN: (Whispering to The Doctor and Vicki.) Someone's coming. Hide. (Hearing the battle approach, The Doctor and Vicki withdraw into the cover of the bushes, while Ian presses himself behind a tree. The King, with a slight head wound, is helped by de Marun and des Preaux. De Tornebu walks with his sword ready. De Marun suddenly falls to the ground, dead. De Tornebu falls, too, an arrow stuck in his shoulder. He lands near The Doctor and Vicki. Next, the King falls just as Ian pulls him down into the bushes while the Saracens enter the clearing. Des Preaux, alone, faces the Saracens.) DES PREAUX: Saracens! I am the king! I am Malek Ric! EL AKIR: So! You have no friends to protect you now, Malek Ric. DES PREAUX: Am I to die as well? If so, dispatch me and have done with it. EL AKIR: A king at liberty may give commands. A captured one obeys them. (To his men.) Take him! (The men drag him away. El Akir turns to the Saracen who remains.) EL AKIR: Find the others and kill them. (El Akir leaves. The King, still lying beside Ian, groans in pain as he comes to. The Saracen hears this, draws his sword, and approaches. Seeing the sword dropped on the ground by de Marun, Ian jumps for it and scrambles to his feet. The King rises and looks after Ian. The Saracen and Ian fight as Vicki and The Doctor look on. The Doctor moves forward but is confronted by a second Saracen. De Tornebu crawls out of the bushes, pulling the arrow from his shoulder. Ian continues to fight the Saracen and ends up knocking him out. The Doctor, however, is in dire straights; the second Saracen is about to cut him down. De Tornebu picks up his sword by the hilt and throws it like a spear into the Saracen's back. The Saracen falls dead. Vicki runs out from the bushes.) THE DOCTOR: (Breathlessly to Ian.) It's alright, old chap, I have my friend here to thank for my life. All right, dear boy? IAN: (Breathlessly.) Yes, I'm alright. THE DOCTOR: That Saracen very nearly did for me. (A thought occurs to him.) THE DOCTOR: Of course. Did you hear what that man called... called him? The Saracens. Malek Ric! Yes! That was the name the Saracens had for King Richard. Coeur de Lion. Malek Ric. VICKI: So we're in the Holy Land? (De Tornebu tries to rise and speak.) VICKI: He's trying to say something. Wha... THE DOCTOR: I think he's got a very bad wound here. DE TORNEBU: He was not the King. VICKI: Not the King? DE TORNEBU: The belt... THE DOCTOR: Hmm? DE TORNEBU: Get the belt. VICKI: (Picking it up.) This belt? THE DOCTOR: This belt! Wait a minute. Of course, yes. I remember. This belongs to his royal master, King Richard. He'll certainly be glad to get this back again. We shall be able to get into his favor. And we need some assistance to help find Barbara. IAN: We can't wait that long, Doctor. I'm going to look for her now. THE DOCTOR: Be careful. [SCENE_BREAK] 8. EXTERIOR OF ANOTHER PART OF THE WOOD (Barbara, bound and gagged, is being carried through the wood by two Saracens who are amused at her struggles. El Akir follows, keeping a watchful eye over his shoulder. The King also moves off through the wood.) IAN: (OOV.) Barbara! Barbara! [SCENE_BREAK] 9. EXTERIOR OF THE TARDIS, BUSHES, AND CLEARING (The Doctor locks the TARDIS door. He is now wearing his cloak and is carrying another over his arm. He moves to where Vicki is caring for the unconscious de Tornebu.) THE DOCTOR: How is he, my dear? Did he take the drug I gave you? VICKI: Yes, but I'm afraid he's unconscious again. THE DOCTOR: Yes. Well, he should be better when we get him back to his own people, hmm. (Ian enters.) VICKI: Where have you been? THE DOCTOR: Are you alright? VICKI: You've been gone over an hour. IAN: (Sighing.) There's no sign of Barbara anywhere. THE DOCTOR: Well, as I said before, we must try and get some help from King Richard. (Pointing to belt.) This certainly belongs to him. IAN: (Sighing.) I suppose you're right. Well, how are we going to set about it? THE DOCTOR: Well, at the moment we can do nothing further until I find some clothes for all of us to wear, hmm. Yes. Now, I think Vicki and I should go down into that city and see what we can find. (Giving the cloak to Vicki.) Now, here child, put on this cloak, and it'll help to act as a disguise. IAN: While you're gone, I'll gather some branches and make a stretcher for him. THE DOCTOR: It's a good idea, but be careful. In the meantime, keep your eye on that. (He hands Ian the belt.) IAN: Oh, yeah. THE DOCTOR: Come along, child. (They go, leaving Ian holding the King's belt.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10. INTERIOR OF SALADIN'S HEADQUARTERS AT RAMLAH (Barbara is lying face down on a rug. William des Preaux is with her. There is a stool and a table nearby with a pitcher of water and some goblets. A Saracen stands guard at the door. Des Preaux gives a coin to a servant in exchange for a cloak. He then takes it and covers Barbara. She immediately opens her eyes and begins to sit up. People and animals are heard from an open window.) DES PREAUX: I will do you no harm. BARBARA: Oh. Oh, thank heaven they've taken that gag away. Umm, I'm so thirsty. (Des Preaux pours her a drink of water.) DES PREAUX: I do not know who you are. Or how you came to be in the wood outside Jaffa. (He looks at Barbara, who thinks it is better to keep quiet for the moment.) DES PREAUX: Your clothing is strange. It has caused some talk. BARBARA: Thank you for the cloak. (She adjusts the cloak around her and then takes the water that des Preaux gives her.) BARBARA: Oh, that's better. Where are we? DES PREAUX: I am told we are at Ramlah. BARBARA: Ramlah? DES PREAUX: The great Sultan's encampment. BARBARA: Oh, I see. Well, what are we doing here? DES PREAUX: As for you, I can make no guess. But I am King Richard, Couer de Lion, leader of the mighty host, scourge of the infidel. BARBARA: But I thought Richard had red hair. DES PREAUX: Had? Still has if the ruse has worked. BARBARA: Oh, then y... DES PREAUX: I am Sir William des Preaux, captured and mistaken for my King. Some smiles will turn to long faces soon, I have no doubt. BARBARA: Yes, I heard the sound of fighting in the wood. DES PREAUX: We were sadly outnumbered and... and taken by surprise. BARBARA: What happened, uh, to the others? In the wood? DES PREAUX: I do not know. Maybe I shall never know. (Suddenly smiling.) But I have a hopeful heart and, which is better, a lucky King. And you, who will not say her name... BARBARA: Oh, Barbara. DES PREAUX: Barbara. I would like to know how one so gentle puts herself among the sword and arrows. And your garments are a fashion in themselves. (Barbara rises, moving forward as she pleads with des Preaux.) BARBARA: Take me back to that wood, Sir William, and I'll answer all your questions. DES PREAUX: You ask for the impossible very lightly. BARBARA: Well, is it so impossible? DES PREAUX: Today it is. But what am I to say of you to the heathen? How can I explain you to them? BARBARA: Well, to them you're King Richard. So who would travel with Richard? DES PREAUX: The Queen would not, but the Princess... Yes, you shall be Joanna, my sister, and help me in my lies. BARBARA: (Laughing.) Very well. I seem to have gained a brother and a title. DES PREAUX: And what is more, a friend. BARBARA: I'm grateful for that. (Des Preaux looks through the archway and sees El Akir walking toward the room.) DES PREAUX: Ssh. Remember, you are Joanna. (El Akir enters.) EL AKIR: ... Salah ed-Din has commanded that all prisoners be treated with compassion. Would you say I have complied with his wishes? DES PREAUX: The Sultan of Egypt and Syria would no doubt be pleased. But this lady, my sister... EL AKIR: Sister? DES PREAUX: Aye. Joanna... (Barbara curtsies to El Akir.) DES PREAUX: Princess of England and closest to me in affection. (Barbara curtsies again. She then looks at des Preaux and sits down.) My sister has been ill-treated, handled roughly by your men. Is this the compassion Saladin speaks of? EL AKIR: Enough of your babbling. The woman is all of one piece. DES PREAUX: (Filled with absolute rage.) Woman! Hold your tongue, Saracen! (The guard restrains des Preaux.) EL AKIR: We shall call her a prisoner, then. Does that sound better? You have no rights, no privileges, nothing except the benevolence of our leader. That you are the King's sister bodes well for me. I can serve both the Sultan and the Malek el Adil. DES PREAUX: (Angrily.) Saphadin? EL AKIR: As you call the Sultan's brother, yes. He will be pleased to see the woman he has so long admired. (To the guard.) Let him go. He is a lion without claws. (El Akir exits.) BARBARA: Someone is going to have a very red face before long. DES PREAUX: And an angry temper. [SCENE_BREAK] 11. EXTERIOR OF A STREET IN JAFFA (Ben Daheer stands outside his shop, located in an extremely busy area with people and animals all about. His shop is between two stalls that flank his archway entrance. Bundles of cloth and satin are laid out.) BEN: Silk. Satin. Fine robes! Rich silks. Satins from Basrah! Fine robes! Silk. Satin! The finest robes in Jaffa! Silk. Satin. Fine robes! Rich silk. Fine satin! The finest robes in Jaf... (The Doctor comes up and examines the fabric. Vicki remains in the background.) BEN: My lord. You are from Pisa, my lord? THE DOCTOR: No. BEN: Genoa, then? THE DOCTOR: I know of the place well. BEN: (Laughing.) Ah, you are very cautious, you traders from Venice. THE DOCTOR: I am not a Venetian. Neither am I a trader. BEN: Oh, your pardon, my lord. The richness of your cloak is hidden by the darkness. THE DOCTOR: You have some very fine materials here. BEN: (Proudly.) The finest of the coast, my lord! THE DOCTOR: (Laughing.) Ooh! That's what they all say. BEN: Please, step into my humble shop. (The Doctor and Ben go into the shop.) THE DOCTOR: Truly remarkable, all the colors of the rainbow. Ha, ha! Yes, it's truly... Where did you say these wonderful materials came from? BEN: Basrah, my lord. THE DOCTOR: Basrah? Ah! (Ben sees another man, Thatcher, who is carrying a bundle of clothes.) BEN: (Irritated.) Forgive me, my lord. (Ben Daheer turns his attention to Thatcher.) THE DOCTOR: (Looking at the cloths.) Most interesting, yes. BEN: Why can't you be more careful when you come here? Why can't you wait until the place is empty? (They open Thatcher's bundle; Ben begins to sort through the clothes.) THATCHER: They're all good. Fine things. I want more than you paid last time. BEN: Such clothes as these are difficult for me to sell. THATCHER: (Impatiently.) Just give me my money! BEN: I am afraid that I may sell them to the person you took them from. THATCHER: A good price, that's all I ask. (The Doctor overhears their conversation.) THE DOCTOR: (To himself, laughing.) Having been stolen once, they can be stolen again, or perhaps borrowed, shall we say, hmm! (Laughs.) (The Doctor hides under one of the stalls as Ben pulls out a little leather bag and counts some coins into Thatcher's hands.) THATCHER: Here, that's not enough. It was dangerous work getting them things. If I were caught, do you know what would happen? Do you know the King's punishment for thieves? I'd be shorn like a prizefighter and boiling pitch poured on me head. And, as for you... (The Doctor's hand appears on the table and removes one of the garments.) BEN: You did get out of the palace without being seen? THATCHER: Of course I did. Remember, I can go elsewhere next time. BEN: And get less? (The Doctor's hand reappears, removing another item of clothing.) THATCHER: I couldn't get any less than what you give me! Blimey! It was hard work going around the palace, I couldn't have done anything. I spend all my time trying to get this money. You do nothing. BEN: As you paid nothing for them in the first place, you have done very well. (Disgusted, Thatcher leaves, counting his money. Ben turns back to address The Doctor.) BEN: My lord? My lord? I was sure that he would buy from me. I could have sworn that he hadn't left. (The Doctor ties a cord to the leg of one of the stalls. He crawls back and pulls the cord. As the stall collapses Ben rushes over. Taking advantage of his diversion, The Doctor throws the bundle of clothes to Vicki, who is outside the doorway.) BEN: (Wailing.) Oh, my beautiful clothes! Oh, they're ruined! All covered in mud! My silks and satins! Embroidery from India! Oh, I am beset by devils! Oh! (Vicki makes her getaway. The Doctor rejoins Ben.) THE DOCTOR: Oh, my poor friend, what a misfortune. You've had an accident. BEN: Oh, am I not the most miserable of men. THE DOCTOR: Oh, yes you are. But, I'm afraid I... I must leave you with your misfortune. But I shall return. Yes, I will return, and you shan't be the loser by this time, eh? BEN: Oh please do. Please do, my lord. THE DOCTOR: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. BEN: For what, my lord? THE DOCTOR: Oh, for being here. For being here when you were most needed. Yes, yes. Goodbye. BEN: Goodbye, my lord. THE DOCTOR: Goodbye. And long live the Sultan. BEN: Yes! (The Doctor walks away, well satisfied.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12. INTERIOR OF SALADIN'S RECEPTION CHAMBER (Saphadin, Saladin's brother, is seated on a magnificent chair with draperies behind it. A guard stands in a corner. El Akir stands proudly before him. Once again, crowds from the street are heard throughout.) SAPHADIN: Speak, El Akir. EL AKIR: My lord, I bring good fortune, not only for your ears, but for he who rules all of us as well. SAPHADIN: My brother hears you as I do. EL AKIR: I would see his face when I tell my story. SAPHADIN: Be content that your voice is heard. If what you have to say pleases my brother, then you will see him. (Saladin is sitting on a chair similar to Saphadin's, directly behind his brother. He can hear everything without being seen.) EL AKIR: Know then that I, El Akir, have the instrument to vanquish the invaders from across the seas. SAPHADIN: Indeed? (El Akir claps his hands and the guard brings in des Preaux.) EL AKIR: I have taken two prisoners. One of them, the King of the English, Malek Ric. SAPHADIN: (Amazed.) Malek Ric?! If you are speaking the truth... (Saladin holds his hands in prayer and presses the hands to his lips, his thumbs resting on his chin. El Akir claps his hands and the guard immediately closes the window. The room is silent.) EL AKIR: The Lion is in our cage. SAPHADIN: Good fortune indeed, El Akir. EL AKIR: The other, a priceless stone I bring to lay before you, as your heart desires. The sister of the Malek Ric. Here for your command. (El Akir, positively glowing in triumph, claps his hands once more. Barbara is led into the room. El Akir bows. Saphadin takes one step toward Barbara and peers at her closely. He controls his anger carefully.) SAPHADIN: Princess Joanna. EL AKIR: No less. SAPHADIN: (Viciously.) Less then less! (El Akir is taken aback, alarmed at Saphadin's venom.) SALADIN: Who is this creature? This rowdy jackal that yaps at my feet with tales of fortune and success! EL AKIR: My lord... (Saphadin cuts him off.) SAPHADIN: (Yelling.) Ah! You vile worm, do you think I do not know the face and the form of the Princess? You take me for a fool? (El Akir turns to des Preaux and Barbara.) EL AKIR: You tricked me! (Saladin appears from behind the drapes.) SALADIN: Be silent. This is not King Richard. EL AKIR: Not... SALADIN: A blacker head of red-gold hair I never saw. (Looking at Barbara.) You have the better bargain, brother. She may not be the Princess, but her beauty lights the room. EL AKIR: My lord, I swear... SALADIN: I do not wish to hear you. (He looks at des Preaux.) SALADIN: But I will listen to you. DES PREAUX: I am William des Preaux and to aid my King's escape, I shouted out his name and took his identity. This lady, your Highness, has no part in this matter but in aiding my pretence. And I beg you to look upon her kindly, whatever fate you have for me. SALADIN: I salute your chivalry. (Saladin turns his attention to Barbara.) All is now clear to me except the lady's presence. EL AKIR: Great Sultan, this woman can be made to entertain you. I can have her dance on hot coals, run a gauntlet of sharp tipped swords... DES PREAUX: No! EL AKIR: ...die for your pleasure. SALADIN: (To Barbara.) What do you say to that? BARBARA: It sounds like the punishment for a fool. SALADIN: It does. And who here is the most foolish? (Pause.) El Akir, I can devise my own pleasures. Go with Sir William. Let me hear you have treated him like a brother. Let him have all the liberty except liberty itself. (He waves a hand. A reluctant des Preaux follows El Akir away, escorted by the guard.) SALADIN: Are you afraid of me? BARBARA: No. SALADIN: You're not of these lands, yet you seem to be a stranger to Sir William. BARBARA: I'm a traveller. I came with three friends. We arrived in the wood. SALADIN: You rode into the wood? BARBARA: No. SAPHADIN: (Surprised.) You walked into it? BARBARA: Not that either. SALADIN: You arrived? BARBARA: Yes... in a box. SAPHADIN: (With disbelief.) In a box? Ah, you were carried into the wood? BARBARA: Yes. (Sounds from outside are now heard again within the palace.) SALADIN: Please talk. It helps me to consider what I have to do with you. BARBARA: Well I could say that I'm from another world, a world ruled by insects. And before that we were in Rome at the time of Nero. Before that were in England, far, far into the future... SALADIN: Now I understand, you and your friends, you are players, entertainers. SAPHADIN: With little value in an exchange of prisoners with the English King, brother. This is a trivial affair. I do not know why you waste your time. (Saphadin leaves.) SALADIN: I cannot dispense life and death lightly. If Sir William is to be returned, he must make good report of our mercy. Perhaps that is the factor in your favor. BARBARA: I don't believe you're as calculating as that. SALADIN: Then learn more of me. You must serve my purpose or you have no purpose. Grace my table tonight in more suitable clothes. If your clothes beguile me, you shall stay and entertain. BARBARA: Like Scheherazade. SALADIN: Over whose head hung sentence of death. [SCENE_BREAK] 13. INTERIOR OF A CHAMBER IN KING RICHARD'S PALACE AT JAFFA (A servant is pressing leaves against the cut on the King's head. He is in a dark mood. He pushes his servant away and gets up.) RICHARD: Right! Enough! (His servant drops the bowl of leaves.) RICHARD: This is the Devil's own embrocation. Continue. (The Doctor, Ian, and Vicki are gathered around de Tornebu. A guard stands by in a corner.) DE TORNEBU: And so these kindly people, whose faces were like hidden in a mist until a moment passed, saved my life and brought me here. RICHARD: Good friends, indeed. We thank you. The brothers de L'Etable are dead. de Marun dead. Sir Richard des Preaux taken. What have I left but one wounded friend and a sore head? THE DOCTOR: One small thing remains yours, Sire. (The Doctor produces the gold belt. The King goes over to him and takes it.) RICHARD: Once again, I am in your debt. But I'd give this for de Marun and the others. (He throws the belt on his recently vacated chair and moves away.) RICHARD: My friends cut down about my ears or stolen. My armies roust about the streets and clutter up the streets of Jaffa with the garbage of their vices. And now I learn my brother John thirsts after power, drinking great draughts of it, though it's not his to take. He's planning to usurp my crown, and trade with my enemy, Philip of France. Trade! A tragedy of fortunes, and I am too much beset by them. A curse on this! A thousand curses! IAN: (Whispering.) We must ask him. THE DOCTOR: (Whispering.) I'm not sure this is the time. VICKI: (Whispering.) No, he doesn't seem in the best of moods, does he? IAN: (Whispering.) We can't wait for his moods. THE DOCTOR: (Whispering.) Ah, tut, tut, tut, tut! Gently, my boy, gently. (Ian moves over to the King.) IAN: Your Majesty. There were four of us in that wood. One of our companions was a lady... RICHARD: Oh, do not bother me with such things now. IAN: I am asking you to send me with an escort to Saladin's headquarters. RICHARD: And what do you do when you are there? IAN: Arrange for the release of our friends. RICHARD: As my emissary to Saladin? IAN: Yes. RICHARD: What, flatter him? Bring him presents in return? THE DOCTOR: It would be of little use, a player King and a young woman, Sire. RICHARD: No. IAN: I can bring them both back. RICHARD: No. IAN: Why not? RICHARD: (Shouting.) Are you deaf? We do not trade with Saladin today. Not today, nor tomorrow, nor any day henceforth. THE DOCTOR: Our young friend is a woman, Sire. Have pity. Let us help her. VICKI: (Meekly.) Please, your Majesty. (The King is now fuming.) RICHARD: Understand this! This woman can rot in one of Saladin's prisons until her hair turns white before I'll trade with the man that killed my friends!	Plan: A: The TARDIS; Q: What arrives in 12th century Palestine? A: a holy war; Q: What is going on in Palestine? A: the Saracenruler Saladin; Q: Who is King Richard the Lionheart fighting? A: Barbara; Q: Who is abducted in a Saracen ambush? A: Ianand Vicki; Q: Who is with the Doctor when he rescues Barbara? A: King Richard's palace; Q: Where do the Doctor, Ian and Vicki go after Barbara is abducted? A: Jaffa; Q: Where is King Richard's palace located? Summary: The TARDIS arrives in 12th century Palestine where a holy war is in progress between the forces of King Richard the Lionheart and the Saracenruler Saladin. Barbara is abducted in a Saracen ambush and the Doctor, Ianand Vicki make their way to King Richard's palace in the city of Jaffa.
Teleplay by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer Story by: Brian Caldirola [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.] Phoebe: (dejected) Hi, you guys. Chandler: Hey! Monica: Hi! Rachel: What's the matter? Phoebe: Well it's just-it's one of those situations that I just hate. Y'know? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum. Joey: (nodding knowingly) Now you're thinking you gotta sleep with him. Phoebe: No! No! It's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us! Chandler: I'll give up my ticket. Joey: Me too. Phoebe: Okay that's so generous! Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too. Phoebe: Great! Okay then it's just us girls! Monica and Rachel: (less than enthused) Great. Phoebe: Yeah. Rachel: So what-what is the exhibit. Phoebe: It's mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches. Joey: Oh man! (Hits Chandler) Ross: (entering) Hey! Rachel: Hi! Chandler: Hey! Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend! Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town. Monica: Oh that's great! Ross: Yeah. Monica: I mean think about all the money that you're gonna make! Ross: Why? What? Monica: Well, her father pays you for baby-sitting right? Ross: No, no, that's funny. But maybe it's time to move on, let it go, y'know? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeth's father, so ah, he's much older than she is. Looks like I'm not the only one interested in fossils, huh? Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils. Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear. (And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultee's presence.) Chandler: Ross. Ross: Oh, come on you guys; that's funny! Y'know? Because he's need-he's got like a hearing aide y'know, 'cause-'cause y'know, 'cause he's all old, and... (Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that he'll just be one second.) Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, I've decided to accept the fact that you're going out with her. Ross: Really? That okay, that's great. Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. I'm funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now I'm telling you, I don't want you seeing my daughter anymore. Ross: All right look, I-I realize it upsets you. Paul: Yes it does. Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I don't think there's really anything you can do about it. Paul: I'll call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired. Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan! Opening Credits [Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.] Phoebe: Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek! Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin' up about something... Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now he's just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bstrd, I'll... Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; we'd be great together! (The dry cleaner finishes with the customer in front of Joey and they approach the counter.) Joey: Hey! So I'm back. The Dry Cleaner: Who are you? Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesn't remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, I'm ready to go back up on the wall I'm the star of a new TV show. The Dry Cleaner: (picking up a TV Guide) Show me in the table. Joey: Oh well, it's not on TV yet. The Dry Cleaner: Well, then it's not on the wall yet. Joey: Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? (Walks away) Phoebe: So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauer's clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that haven't been cleaned yet? (The dry cleaner just stares at her and she retreats.) [Scene: The Morgan Chase Museum, the girls are entering.] Monica: Oh, I love museums! Rachel: Umm. Monica: Soakin' up all the culture. Rachel: Yeah. Monica: Where do you want to start? Rachel: Ooh, the gift shop! Monica: Yeah! Phoebe: Hey, and then lunch. Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I can't eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned. Phoebe: Oh wow. What, do you think maybe he's gonna tell you that he's gay? Rachel: What?! No! Why?! Phoebe: No reason! That would just be a really big surprise, right? (A museum official enters with another man and woman.) The Museum Official: (to the couple) You can put the aisle over here (points), and put the wedding ceremony right over here. (Points.) Rachel: I didn't know you could get married here. Monica: This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldn't put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! (Points to both places.) I mean you'd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. (The arch at the entrance to the room.) The Museum Official: (To Monica) May I help you? Rachel: Oh sorry didn't mean to interrupt. It's just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here? The Museum Official: Yes. We're very popular. There's a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.) Rachel: Monica, you should totally put your name down on the list Monica: What?! Are you crazy?! I'm not getting married! I'm not even engaged. Phoebe: Yeah, but there's a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. That's four years. Chandler's not gonna wait that long. He's gonna find somebody else, y'know? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.) Rachel: Yeah hon, it can't hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if you're not engaged you just don't use it. Monica: Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down. Rachel: I'm gonna do it too! Phoebe: Me too! Rachel: Really? Who would, who would you marry? Phoebe: I don't know, I don't have anyone right now. Y'know? Rachel: Oh Pheebs. Phoebe: Don't feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isn't gay. Monica: Phoebe, that stuff is... Phoebe: Don't even get me started on yours! [Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.] Joey: (entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show? The Dry Cleaner: I did. Joey: All right, let's get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.) The Dry Cleaner: No! It don't go up on the wall! Joey: What-But you saw the show! The Dry Cleaner: Yes, it was very offensive to my people! Joey: Dry cleaners? The Dry Cleaner: Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains! Joey: Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there! The Dry Cleaner: That's right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing! Joey: Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-that's offensive to Russians. The Dry Cleaner: I've never seen it! Joey: Oh you should, it's great. (The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.) [Scene: A Cabin in the Woods, Elizabeth is giving Ross a tour.] Ross: This place is really beautiful! Elizabeth: Yeah, I've been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandma's. Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyes-Do-do you want to make out? Elizabeth: Sure! (They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.) Elizabeth: Are you okay? What's wrong? Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father. Elizabeth: Well, whatever works for ya... Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before. Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, it's kinda fun hiding. Ross: Yeah. (They start making out again.) Elizabeth: (quietly) Hey umm, you brought protection right? Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot. Elizabeth: I'll just run to the store and get some. Ross: Oh no! Hey-hey, I'm the guy! I'll get it. Elizabeth: Do you know where the store is? Ross: No. Elizabeth: Do you want to ride around town on my little pink bicycle? Ross: A little bit. Elizabeth: (laughs) I'll be back in ten minutes. Ross: Okay. Elizabeth: Why don't you get in the hot tub and I'll meet you there. Ross: Ohh, okay. (Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and...) Rachel: (from another room) Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house. (Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.) Paul: (To Rachel) Thank you, it's my mom's. So this is the kitchen. (Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clichéd scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.) [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is reading the newspaper as the phone rings. He let's the machine answer it.] Chandler: (on machine) You've reached Monica and Chandler's, if you're listening to this message, we're probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are. The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available... (Chandler runs to answer the phone.) Chandler: (on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groom-No! Not the groom!! [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Paul's Cabin, Paul and Rachel are sitting on the couch drinking wine and talking.] Rachel: It's so secluded up here. Paul: I know. I like it up here. Rachel: I feel like we're the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.) Paul: What's the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse? Rachel: No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-I-would you-actually, would you go check on that? Paul: Honey, we don't have any bears here. Rachel: Well, okay. Would-would you get me a Diet Coke? Paul: Okay. I'll be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.) Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?! Ross: What are you doing here?! Rachel: I came with Paul! Ross: Yeah, I recognize the ankles! Rachel: Get up! Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.) Rachel: Ahh. Thank you! Paul: Diet Coke. (Hands her the glass.) Rachel: Op, ice. I need ice. Paul: Okay. Rachel: Thank you. Paul: I'll be right back. (He goes to get the ice.) Ross: (under the couch) You and your ice. Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! He's in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.) Ross: (before entering) Did you really hear a bear? Rachel: Go-go! Paul: (entering) Here you go honey. One Diet Coke with ice. Rachel: Ohh, thank you. Paul: I'm so happy that you're here. Elizabeth: (entering) Here I am! Paul: (jumping up) Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeth's here! Who are you talking to? Elizabeth: Uh, you guys? Paul: How did you know we were here? Elizabeth: Umm... Rachel: Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage. Elizabeth: Obviously. Paul: Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! (Motions that he brought Rachel here to be alone with her.) Rachel: Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something? Elizabeth: Yeah! Yep. Rachel: Well, why do y'know go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework? Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldn't do it in there. That's my dad's bedroom. Rachel: That's your, that's your dad's bedroom. (Yelling) That's your dad's bedroom! Paul: Why are you yelling? Rachel: Whoa, that Diet Coke just went straight to my head! Woo! [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.] Monica: Hi, honey. Chandler: (gets up) See you later. (Starts to leave.) Monica: What? I-I bought groceries, I was gonna make you dinner! Chandler: (angrily) Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! (He storms out.) (Monica puts the groceries down and goes to check the answering machine and hears.) The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. Monica: Oh no! The Museum Official: (on machine) I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available... Monica: Oh please, he didn't hear it! He didn't hear it!! Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.) Monica: NOOOO!!!!!!!! [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Dry Cleaner's, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isn't working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.] Female Clerk: Can I help you? Joey: Uh yeah, where-where's the guy who decides who's pictures go up on the wall? Female Clerk: He's not here right now. Joey: Oh, you're kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? I'm an actor; I'm kinda getting my picture up there on the wall. Female Clerk: Y'know, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.) Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) You're the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.) [Scene: Paul's Cabin, continued from earlier.] Paul: So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night? Elizabeth: Oh no-no believe me, I'm leaving as soon as possible! Paul: Good. Good. Not that we don't want you to stay, obviously you're welcome-How much more homework do you have? Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out? Rachel: Really? Okay. Okay, I-I'll go upstairs. (to Paul) If-if you get me something from the car. Paul: What do you need from the car? Rachel: Surprise me. Paul: (whispering) Okay. (Starts for the car.) Rachel: (yelling) So you're gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and that's where everybody's gonna be! (Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.) [Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Paul's back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.] Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, you're doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She... Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Y'know why? Because you're a (pause) neat guy. (Ross can't believe what he's hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. You're just a love machine. (Starts singing) I'm just a love machine and I won't work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) I'm just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.) [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica rushes in.] Monica: Phoebe! Phoebe: Yeah? Monica: Have you seen Chandler?! Phoebe: No! Why? Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?! Phoebe: Well for the regular guy, it's bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God! Monica: I know! I know! And he totally freaked out and I can't find him anywhere! Phoebe: What are you gonna do? Monica: Well, I'm never gonna listen to you again, that's for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Y'know, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?" Phoebe: Rachel said that! Monica: Well Rachel's not here! (Runs out.) [Scene: The Dry Cleaner's, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.] Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.) Joey: I didn't do that! Who would've done that?! The Dry Cleaner: (entering) Son of a bitch! Phoebe: Okay, maybe ask this guy. The Dry Cleaner: You, get out of my shop! Phoebe: Well, what did he do? The Dry Cleaner: He went out with my wife! Phoebe: Joey! Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-I-Hey! I did not go out with your wife! (The same woman from before enters.) Okay? I went out with her! (Points at her.) The Dry Cleaner: That's my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and I'm betting he's not saying pleasant things about him.) Phoebe: Well, we should go. Joey: Yeah. [Scene: Paul's Bedroom, Elizabeth is entering.] Elizabeth: Ross? Ross? Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) I'm gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) I'll meet you at the front door. Just tell them you're going home, okay? Elizabeth: Okay! Rachel: (yelling from the living room) Oh wait-wait-wait!! No! Don't go in there! Don't go in there! I need another soda! (Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.) Paul: Ross! Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heaven's name are you doing here? Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore. Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk. Elizabeth: Daddy! Paul: You're next!! Elizabeth: Okay. I didn't know he was here. (Runs over to Rachel.) Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or I'll have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!" Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain... Paul: No, let me explain! Fired!! Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.) Paul: (panicked) What? Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Paul's flexing.) Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is. [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.] Monica: (going over to him) I'm so sorry. Please, stop freaking out. Chandler: I'm not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.) Monica: Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, what's the harm in that? Chandler: Right here! (Clucks like a chicken for some reason.) Monica: Chandler, please don't think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel... Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way! Monica: It was a mistake. Please don't take this to mean anything, because it doesn't. Chandler: Okay. Monica: Really? Chandler: Yes, if it really doesn't mean anything, because you know that I'm just not ready... Monica: I know! I know. Chandler: Okay. (They hug.) Monica: I'm gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that you're back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.) Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it? Chandler: Totally. Phoebe: So did Heldi show you the place? Chandler: Yeah, it's beautiful. Phoebe: I can't believe you're gonna ask Monica to marry you! Chandler: I know. (They hug.) Ending Credits [Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.] Joey: Hey Gunther. Gunther: Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there (points) wants the biscotti. Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go. Gunther: Do you still work here? Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? I'm sorry. Gunther: Oh that's cool, I was gonna fire you anyway. Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)	Plan: A: Paul; Q: Who threatens to have Ross fired if he doesn't break up with Elizabeth? A: Elizabeth; Q: Who does Ross have a relationship with? A: Rachel; Q: Who does Paul begin dating? A: Paul's threats; Q: What do Ross and Elizabeth ignore? A: her family's cabin; Q: Where do Ross and Elizabeth sneak away to? A: their names; Q: What did the girls put down on a wedding venue's waiting list? A: a popular wedding venue's long waiting list; Q: What do Elizabeth and Rachel put their names down on? A: Chandler; Q: Who is planning to propose to Monica? A: a cancellation; Q: What does the venue get back to Chandler about? A: Monica; Q: Who finds Chandler when he runs off? Summary: Paul disapproves of Ross' relationship with Elizabeth and threatens to have him fired unless they break up. Meanwhile, Paul and Rachel begin dating. Ignoring Paul's threats, Ross and Elizabeth sneak away to her family's cabin, unaware Paul and Rachel have the same plan. As a lark, the girls put their names down on a popular wedding venue's long waiting list. When the venue happens to get back to Chandler about a cancellation, he panics and promptly bolts. Monica finds him and assures him it was not a serious reservation, little realizing that Chandler is actually planning to propose.
Dylan: Let's do this already! Teddy: You gotta calm down, D. This is gonna be one of the easiest hits we've ever done. Homevault does security for the entire building. 'Kay, I've got the intercom wired to my phone. Dylan: Like a kid in a candy store. Teddy: All right. (Grunts) I'll call you, buzz you up. Dylan: What the hell are you doing? Drew: What? Alex: Lose the mask, idiot. Dylan: As far as anyone knows, we're visiting a friend. All we gotta do is act cool and walk through the door. Rayna: What, you don't wanna just smash a rock through the window for old times' sake? (Laughs) Dylan: All I wanna do is get in and out without anybody calling the cops. Too late for that. (Car door opens, police chatter over radio) Rayna: Who brought the heat? Dylan: Oh no... hey! Hey, officer! Can I get some directions off you or what?! (Truck rumbles nearby) Directions to where? Dunno. The mall? Goodis: Mall's closed. What's going on out here? Uh, what's your name? I don't have to tell you my name. We're just hanging out. Goodis: All right, well, I'm going inside. When I come back out, I want you both gone. Catch you later, crime stopper. Teddy: What was that, huh?! You set us up? Dylan: What're you talking about? Teddy: We bail on you, you dime on us? Dylan: Hey, I just saved your ass. In case you didn't notice, I'm the one who stuck around. Teddy: Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, okay? It's just... that was insane. You were cool as ice though. So, what's the plan then, huh? Wait for him to leave? Sneak in when he's gone? No. This place is lit. We're done here. (Exhales heavily) And you're welcome by the way. [SCENE_BREAK] (Heartbeat pulses) (Siren wails in the distance, traffic rumbles) Dylan: But I saw the blonde woman there! Goodis: Sorry, Dylan, the loft checks out. Nobody seems to have seen her. The lease on unit 202 is paid on time. Dylan: By who? How? I need a warrant to get that info. Dylan: Then get a warrant. Well, for that I need probable cause, and nothing suspicious has happened in that building... oh, except for last night. There was a bunch of teens loitering about. You know what happens if you get caught with those kids, right? So, the drawings, the loft, the blonde woman, it's all just a coincidence?! Somebody's lying. Goodis: I need you to sit tight. I'm not good at sitting tight, Goodis. Will you just take the day off and be a normal teenage girl for once?! (Hang up click) For serious? He hung up on me. That's just great. Wes: Mm... at least now you don't have to slum it with Teddy and the bling ring. Draco Malfoy and the Slytherins? (Chuckles) (Light knocking) Speak of the devil, right? Dylan: What're you doing? You can't be here, it violates my probation. Teddy: Relax. Just wanna know when we're hitting the apartment. We're not. The cops are on it. Teddy: I'm sorry, am I in the wrong place here? I was looking for the badass from last night. Oh, take a hint. She wants you gone. I don't think she knows what she wants, bro. Seriously, D, I'm not buying this whole good girl act. I'm not selling it. Teddy: Nah... From the looks of it you're all sold out. You don't know anything about me, Teddy. Don't I?! Look, I know you're stuck here right now, but if you had the choice, the Dylan Blake I know wouldn't be slumming it with the Sesame Street gang here. This isn't you. And it's just a matter of time before you come back to your real friends. You just need the right motivation. Wes: What a tool. (Chuckles) Dylan. (Babies fuss and cry) (Approaching footsteps) Hard to believe you were ever that small, huh? Dylan: Sometimes I forget I almost didn't make it. So I guess that one's me? The bad seed over there. (Baby fusses) Jane: No, you were a really good baby. You never cried. I used to worry something was wrong, but you were just good... You still are. You just lost your way for a while. I'm really glad to have you back. (Baby fusses) (Low hum of chatter, receding footsteps) (Machine whirs) April: He's just a kid. London: Kids don't like me. You know, I don't see why we have to assess a bunch of day campers anyway. Their bus was only in a Fender bender. (Nervous exhale) Hey, Aidan. It's a... it's a pretty big bump. Do you wanna tell me how you hurt your head? Oh... (Sighs heavily) Can you... open your eyes really wide for me? No, I said open your oh, I see. Okay, um... How about this? Wanna see something cool? See that eye chart behind me? I have a photographic memory. E-f-p-t-o-z-l-p-e-d. (Heavy thump) And you don't care. (Nervous exhale) Hud: All right, buddy, and you are good to go. Nurse April's gonna take you back to your teacher. You wanna do one of these? Hud and patient: (Mimic sound of an explosion) Hud: Oh! All right. Get outta here. London: Wait, how'd you do that? Hud: Believe it or not, kids like me. I find a way to bond with them. London: It tried that! I read my kid the snellen chart. Hud: Okay, that's... Not what I was thinking. Observe. Hey. April: Hey. Hud: Let's see here... April: (Mumbles instructions) Hey. Hud: Let's take a look at that cut on your arm. Now this is antibiotic ointment, and what it's gonna do, it's gonna prevent infection, okay? And this bandage here, it's gonna help bond the skin. You are gonna regenerate in no time, kid. Just like Wolverine. London: Huh. I can do that. Okay. (Curtain scrapes back) Um... (Panicking breaths) Oh no. (Panicky breaths) Oh... no. (Babies fuss and cry) Wes: (Blows out his breath) Uh... you okay? You seemed pretty rattled by your blast from the past. I thought you might wanna talk about it. Dylan: Talk? About feelings? It's like you don't know me at all. I think we should change that. Like... tonight. Is that your way of asking me out? Do you have a problem with that? Well, I mean, timing's a little suspect. Teddy shows up and you're hot on me all of a sudden? Dylan: Okay, to be fair, I was never not hot on you. Teddy can say whatever he wants, but I know who I am and who I want to spend my time with. So what do you say? Got the condo to ourselves tonight. We can order a pizza, stream a movie... Get to know each other better. Wes: I'll think about it. Uh, yeah, I'm in. On one condition: No pizza. I'll make us dinner. Breakfast for dinner. How do you feel about pancakes? Dylan: I love pancakes. Wes: And you said I don't know you at all. Hmm. (Chuckles) ♪ Oh, come on, my love... ♪ Jared: So I'm thinking if we finish up early tonight, my buddy's band is opening a show downtown. (Kissing) It's gonna be rammed, but... I can get us in. Line bypass. No cover. No delinquents. Shhh... more kissing. And let's just stay here where we can be alone. You're embarrassed of me. I'm your moped, aren't I? Mikayla: My what? Jared: Your moped. Fun for fooling around as long as nobody sees you. No, that's not it at all. What is it then? Why don't you wanna go? That's what I thought. Mikayla: (Sighs heavily) Jared: Guess I'll go with a girl who doesn't suck. That! That's it! That's why! What? What're you even ah, whatever. I'll take someone else. Check your pager feed later. I'll be posting throughout my whole date. (Door bangs shut) ♪ So let's open up ♪ Dylan: So do we have a truce now or what? Wes: Hey, you know, I was minding my own business, okay, trying to make a pancake brontosaurus, when you decided to get all cute with the flour. I mean, who even does that? Dylan: What can I say? I guess I just wanna be bad. Wes: Yeah, about that. I mean... Look, what's past is past. I don't wanna grill you about your ex-boyfriends, but... well, if you ever wanna talk... Dylan: Me and Teddy are over. He was... When my dad disappeared, I was hurt and angry. And I needed somewhere to put the pain. Teddy was good for that. He didn't ask questions. He didn't constantly check to see if I was all right or not. He just let me be not all right. He... I dunno. It feels like ancient history now. Why don't we just focus on the future? Wes: I can do that. Future's looking pretty good tonight. Except for... [SCENE_BREAK] (Phone chimes) It's a video message from Teddy. And the past rears its ugly head. Teddy: You know, D, I've been thinking about you and me all day. We've got a lot of unfinished business to deal with. Tonight. Rayna: (Shrieks and laughs) Teddy: Woo! (Laughing) Dylan: The loft... they broke in without me. Teddy: So all you gotta do is give me a call and I'll buzz you up. How's that for the right motivation? (Blows a kiss) [SCENE_BREAK] (Siren wails in the distance) Wes: Wait, wait. Dylan, no. Come on! Wait! Hey! (Door bangs shut) That is exactly what Teddy wants, okay? That video could be a set-up. And what if it's my dad's loft? He's out there somewhere, sick and scared. He needs my help. Wes: Goodis said to sit tight. Dylan: He also said he can't do anything until there's suspicious activity. So I need to find something suspicious. Wes: Then you're not going alone. And you know what? Don't even try to talk me out of this. (Door bangs shut, traffic rumbles) (Bangs on door, music blasts inside) (Teddy's crew laughs, lock tumbles) Teddy: Welcome back the dark side. I don't know if you heard, bro, but, uh, no plus ones. Dylan: Don't be a punk. (Dance music blasts) ♪ go, go, go, go, go, go... ♪ Rayna: Omygod! Aggghhhh! I'm so glad you came. Oh, it'll just be like old times! Dylan: Yeah, some things never change. Rayna: Who's the cutie? Dylan: Uh, Rayna, Wes. Wes, Rayna. Rayna: Wanna have some fun? Wes: I dunno. Looks like you're having enough fun for the both of us. (Laughing) Dylan, I like him. Teddy: That makes one of us. Teddy: (Grunts with effort) Rayna: (Shrieks happily) (Laughing and cheering) Yeah! Dylan: Okay, so here's the plan. You hang back and mingle, and I'm gonna go snoop around, and make sure they don't destroy the place. (Music blares) Rayna: (Laughing) (Siren wails nearby) (Doors click open) Aidan?! Aidan! Aidan! (Struggles with doors) (Nervous whimper, gasps) (Shaky breaths) Young London: (Weeping softly) (Startled gasp) When you're done admiring yourself, you still got that kid to deal with. London: What? Hud: Maybe go check where you left him. (Sighs, distracted) (Doors burst open) London: Oh, thank God, Aidan! I thought I lost you. I'm so glad you're all right. Are you nuts? You could've passed out. You could've been kidnapped! Oh, I thought I was in so much trouble. Oh, hey... are you afraid you're gonna get in trouble if you tell me what happened? Hey, what happened? Aidan: I bumped my head on the bus window. I was standing on the seat and I'm not supposed to. I won't tell anyone. I promise, 'Kay? All right. It's okay. (Low hum of chatter, cart rattles) (Phone rings nearby) Mikayla: (Disgusted sigh) Omygod! You scared me! Oh, sorry. It's my first day. Um, I was looking for the elevators. Mikayla: Oh, um... out that door, to your right. Veronica: Huh. I guess I... got turned around. Mikayla: Yeah, I guess. (Heels clack) (Pages flutter, paper rustles) (Dance music blasts) Rayna: I gotta pee. Teddy: Remind me again why you brought this loser? This was supposed to be our thing. He's not a loser. I'm not here for you, this is my thing. Teddy: Oh, I get it. This is about your dad. What is this? Like a secret love nest or something? Rayna: (Laughing) Yo, you guys ever try anti-psychs? Dylan: Don't take those! Rayna: Easy, it's not like I'm gonna foam at the mouth. Dylan: I was right! This is my dad's hiding spot. Look, it's his prescription. Hard evidence. This is crazy. Dylan: No, I know. This is the closest I've ever been to the truth. I feel like I'm gonna cry. Wes: No. No, don't-don't cry now. You can cry later, okay? We just we have to get out of here. Dylan: No. No, no, no. This whole thing is starting to feel a whole lot worse than just some stupid affair. I don't know, I can't I can't explain it, it just it feels bigger. I need a few moments in here, alone, to figure this out. Good luck shutting down the party. I mean, what do you wanna do? Dylan: (Sighs) (Music cuts out) Dylan: Everyone out or I'm calling the cops! (Heels clack) (Mikayla's phone rings, Veronica sighs) Veronica: (Annoyed sigh) (Doors rumble shut) Dylan: I mean it, Teddy. I don't wanna do this, but I will. Rayna: Teddy, forget her. Let's go. Teddy: She's bluffing. The Dylan Blake I know wouldn't sell out her friends. Dylan: Yeah, well, that girl's gone. I took the fall for you once, but I'm not gonna do it again. So why don't you do what you do best, and bail. Wes: Yeah, just leave while you still can. Teddy: You know what, dude? I really don't like you... And I really don't like the new Dylan Blake either. Dylan: I don't need you to. I'd like to report a break and enter. Metal factory lofts, unit 202. You need to hurry. They're still here. Teddy: Yeah, nice try. There's no one even on the phone. 911 dispatcher over speaker: Officers are on their way. You say they're still in the building? Hello! You still there? Can you tell me how many there are? Teddy: I hope your dad's dead. Dylan: Actually, it's just one guy. I know who it is, too. He goes to my school. Teddy: Don't even think about it, Dylan. Dylan: His name's Teddy Ralston and his parents own Homevault Security. Rayna: No! Dylan: He steals the security codes! (Someone bangs on the door) Neighbour: Hey! Open up! You've been driving me nuts all night! What's going on in there?! Open the damn door! Rayna: Teddy, it's over! Let's go! Teddy: You're dead, Dylan! You're as good as dead! Teddy: Come on! Neighbour: Hey! Hey! Hey! What the hell's your problem?! Wes: Here! Go, go, go. Go. Wes and Dylan: (Breathing hard) (Breathing hard) (Whispering) You okay? (Approaching footsteps) Police officer: Police, we're coming in! Sir, I need you to stop walking now. Neighbour: It's okay, I live in the apartment downstairs. Officer: Get down on the ground. Wes: We have to get outta here now! I don't have the pills. We can just tell them it's my dad's loft. The pills prove he was here, they don't prove that this place is his. It just looks like we broke in. I mean, we sort of did! Do you really wanna roll that dice with the cops? No. The fire escape. It's our only shot. (Doors slide back quietly) (Window rattles, door closes) Officer: Hey! Who's in there! Dylan: It's stuck. Officer: This is the police! Dylan and Wes: (Grunting) Unlock the door and come out with your hands up! (Doorknob rattles) We're coming in! (Wood splinters, door slams against wall) [SCENE_BREAK] Jared: What the hell? Are you gonna refollow me, or what? Mikayla: Not now, Jared. Dylan has a stalker. She's not answering her phone, and neither is Wes. Jared: Oh, here we go. More drama from "the girl who lived." I'm not gonna be your moped. Oh my God, you're not my moped. You're more like a mean ringtone. You know, if you wanna be my boyfriend, you need to be way nicer. Like, as a person. Well... Obviously I'm sorry. Clearly, I wanna be your boyfriend. Also, the girl in the photo was my cousin. (Laughs) Thank you. Refollowed. Okay. Now can you help me with this Dylan thing? Seth: (Sighs) You're tired. Your eyes are playing tricks on you. Seth, it was me. I was six years old, I was in this hospital, and I was crying. What if I'm schizophrenic? Hey... let's not jump to conclusions. Well, my dad is. I'm the right age. I'm hallucinating. Mikayla: London! You need to take a look at this photo. Some sketchy nurse is leaving threatening notes for Dylan. London: That woman's not a nurse. She was my patient. I ran every test, but there was nothing wrong with her. Mikayla: No, no, no. There's definitely something wrong with this chick. London: Well, she kept asking about my dad, if he had contacted me. She mentioned Dylan. Jared: Sounds like a stalker to me. London: Where is Dylan now? Mikayla: She's not answering her phone. She and Wes were supposed to be at your place having some alone time. London: Yeah, well, they're about to get interrupted. Dylan: That was insane! Wes: (Laughing) I can't believe we actually made it out of there. God, you should feel good. I mean, you were right about your dad. If he shows up, Goodis will find him. Thanks for coming. You don't need to thank me. I am sorry my tortured past ruined our night though. Wes: Ruined? The best night of my life. Come on, a little... danger, some intrigue, some romance, you know... (kissing) Dylan: We should go inside. Wes: Yes we should. (Keys jingle, lock tumbles) (Running footsteps, hard punch) (Door crashes against wall) Dylan: What the hell are you doing?! No! Don't! Stop! Wes: (Grunting in pain) Dylan: Stop! Don't! Stop! (Wes grunts in pain) Teddy: (Panting) Did you really think I was gonna let this go? There's probably police standing outside my house right now. (Wes grunts, Teddy pants from exertion) If I'm going to jail, I'm getting revenge first. This one's on you! Dylan: No! Stop! Wes: (Grunts in pain) Seth: What the hell? London: Get off of them! Get your hands off of her! Teddy: Go, go, go, go, go! Dylan: Have fun in jail, Teddy! London! Help! Seth: I'm calling the cops. London: And get an ambulance!	Plan: A: Dylan; Q: Who plots a break-in with some old pals? A: a difficult child; Q: What does London tend to? A: Mikayla; Q: Who and Jared have their first fight? Summary: Dylan plots a break-in with some old pals. Meanwhile, London tends to a difficult child, and Mikayla and Jared have their first fight.
Act One Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Eddie is asleep on Martin's chair. Frasier, Niles and Martin enter through the front door. Niles goes to the phone to check his messages. Martin: Look, we had an agreement. We went to see a movie I wanted to see, so I'm supposed to pay for the tickets. Frasier: Very well, Dad. The next time we go to see a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, not only may you pay for the tickets, but also for the wild horses it will take to drag me there! Martin: Well, I'm only mad because we had an agreement. Now, a man's supposed to honour his agreement, didn't you learn anything from that movie? Frasier: Yes, only that bullets are useless against the man who can kick really high! Martin: Now, look, I'm serious about this. Once in a while I'd like to pay. Frasier: Okay. Martin: Okay, so the next time we go anywhere, it's on me. Have I made my point? Frasier: Yes, Dad, with all the subtlety Mr. Van Damme displayed when he jet-packed into the Vatican to subdue that nasty Pope imposter! Martin: Like you saw that coming! Martin exits to the kitchen. Frasier pours two sherries. Niles: Well, Maris has finally deigned to call me back after I'd left no fewer than twenty messages! Frasier: Honestly, Niles, by calling her so many times you give her all the power. You're much better off coming from a position of strength! Niles: Don't pour that sherry on your shirt, it will stain. Frasier: [mystified] What?! Niles: I'm sorry, I thought this was the portion of the afternoon where we gave each other patently obvious advice! [pause] I had to call Maris! You know that party I'm throwing for my country club friends. Frasier: Oh, yes. The one I wasn't invited to but my Waterford punch bowl was! Niles: Yes, well... Maris has chosen the exact same night to throw a party of her own. Frasier: Well, couldn't you ask her to postpone? Niles: I tried. She's already flown in a sculptor from Sweden to capture her likeness in ice. Frasier: Ah, the perfect marriage of subject and medium! Niles: Well, you can see my problem. We're going to be competing now for which friends go to which party. Frasier: You know Niles, for a separated couple still hoping to reconcile I'm afraid you're going down a path... Niles: [interrupting] You shouldn't wear that tie with that jacket. Frasier: Oh, I see. Is that your clever way of telling me I'm dispensing unwanted criticism? Niles: That too! Daphne comes in with a large, full carrier bag. Daphne: Hello, boys. Both: Hello, Daphne. Daphne: [to Niles] Dr. Crane will you be joining us for dinner? Niles: What a nice invitation. I'd love to. Daphne: Well then, you're in for a treat. I've decided to make Grammy Moon's famous "Sheep's Head Stew." [notes the concerned faces in front of her] Oh, don't worry. The name's a bit misleading. It's actually more of a soup! Martin: You actually use a real sheep's head? Daphne: Well, you have to. [holds up carrier bag] It's right in here. Frasier: [leaping up suddenly] Oh my God I just remembered. We have reservations at Le Cigare Volante tonight! Niles: Oh my God, you're right. Martin: [also leaping up out of his chair] Oh Jeez, I nearly forgot. Daphne: You're going too, Mr. Crane? Martin: Well, I promised the boys. [getting into his jacket] I don't suppose there's any way you guys would let me out of this, is there? [there is general protestations all round which Martin quite happily gives in to] Well, I tried! Daphne: Well, have fun. I'm off to stick me head in the oven. The boys laugh as they all head out of the apartment as quickly as possible. As soon as they are gone Daphne picks up the phone. Daphne: Hello, Marshall? I got rid of them. You bring some wine and I'll throw the steaks on. [N.B. Marshall is the name of Jane Leeves's real-life husband.] [SCENE_BREAK] SOMETIMES LE CIGARE IS JUST LE CIGARE Scene 2 Le Cigare Volante. The boys turn up to be greeted by an extremely full restaurant. Frasier: Oh dear Lord, it's rather busy. Let's keep our fingers crossed. [looks over to the other side of the restaurant] Francois! Francois, the maitre 'd, comes rushing over. Francois: Ah, Dr. Crane. Bonsoir. [kisses Frasier on both cheeks] Frasier: Bonsoir. Francois: Dr. Crane. Bonsoir. [kisses Niles on both cheeks] Niles: Bonsoir. Frasier: [introducing] And this is our father, Martin Crane. Francois: [going to kiss Martin] Ah, Monsieur Crane. Martin: [grabbing Francois's hand and shaking it rapidly] How you doing? Francois: Enchante! Frasier: Francois, I'm afraid we are at your mercy tonight. You see, we have no reservations. Francois: Oh la la, Dr. Crane. I will see what I can do. Frasier: Thank you, thank you. Anything would be just fine, thank you. Come to think of it we haven't been here since Chef Wakim had his pinky grafted back on. Francois: Oh. Then this is your first time seeing our new artwork. He's my own discovery. His name is Cordoba! Francois points out a number of paintings dotted round the room which at best can be described as a hideous dirge of colour. Somewhere in the nearest one is a matador, a bull and an awful lot of blood and guts. Frasier and Niles obviously feign approval. Frasier: Exquisite! Niles: Stunning! Frasier: My God, I don't think I've ever seen such fearless use of colour. You know, as usual your taste is as fine as your cuisine. [pointing at the reservations book] Any luck? Francois: For you, yes. For Dr. Dubain who brings his own wine, no! [scrubs out a name] Follow me, please. Frasier: Merci bien! Francois: [sitting the group] Your table is ready. Martin: You guys go ahead. I've got to make a little visit to Le Can! Francois: [handing out the menus] Le menu! I will be back with the wine list. Francois disappears leaving Niles and Frasier sitting at the table. Frasier: Wine list? My God, he ought to bring us blindfolds. I mean, what is he thinking with this artwork? It's appalling! Niles: [jokingly] Who is it who said that art in restaurants is on the same level with food in museums? Frasier: The little white lies one will tell for a good table. Of course I would compliment a black velvet Elvis right now if Chef Wakim's lobster comfit were at stake! Niles: [noticing the table across the restaurant] Frasier, that's Winchett Cook. She's one of the guests Maris and I are competing over for our parties. I'm going to go woo her. Frasier: Oh really, Niles. Why don't you just reschedule your party? Niles: Because I don't want to give Maris the satisfaction. She's pushed me around long enough. Frasier: All right. Niles: Metaphorically, of course. In reality she can hardly push at all. Like that terrible afternoon last spring she spent trapped in the revolving doors at Bergdorf's! Niles ups and heads over to the other table. Meanwhile Martin rejoins Frasier at the table. Martin: I hope there's something on there you like 'cos dinner's on me tonight. Frasier: What do you mean, Dad? Martin: We had an agreement. Next time we went out it was my treat. Frasier: Yes Dad, but when I said that what I meant was... Martin: Hup! We're not discussing it. Frasier: Yes, but Dad the trouble is here... Martin: Hup! You promised. Frasier: I just don't... Martin: Hup! Frasier: [exasperated] All right, all right, your treat. Martin: [satisfied] Thank you. Now don't worry about it just order whatever you want... [Martin examines the menu and his face turns to a look of abject horror. Meanwhile Francois has returned with the wine list] Is this per person? Francois: [handing Frasier the wine list] The wine list. Frasier: [realising the situation] Thank you. Thank you, Francois but I don't believe we'll be having any wine tonight [hands back the wine list] Francois: And I'm going out for a Big Mac after work! Frasier: No, I'm really being quite serious. You see, my brother and I are watching our caloric intake tonight we'll be eating light. Francois: As you wish, Doctor. Francois disappears again leaving Martin looking extremely unhappy. Martin: [angrily] I know what you're doing, you know. I'm not stupid. Frasier: What are you talking about? Martin: You're eating light? All the way over here you had the same look on your face that Eddie gets when he hears a can opener! Frasier: Look, Dad it's just that I'm not that comfortable ordering an expensive meal when you're paying. Martin: Well, what's the big deal? You take me to places like this all the time. Frasier: I can afford it! [notices the hurt look on Martin's face] I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I know how you feel. Martin: No, you don't. You're always paying for me and I'm never allowed to pay for you. Well, it feels pretty lousy. Well, go ahead, Mr. Bigshot you pay! Frasier: Dad! Niles returns from the other side of the restaurant. Niles: Well, the good news is Winchett has agreed to come to my party. The bad news is I've left my wallet at home so, Frasier, I'm afraid this is on you. Frasier: Actually, tonight's dinner is on Dad. Martin: No, you ruined it. I'm not paying. Frasier: Well, I'm not paying. Niles: Well, I can't pay! On hearing this news Francois sidles up to the table. Francois: So that would be three Happy Meals to go? [SCENE_BREAK] Scene 3 Frasier's Apartment. Daphne is alone in the living room on the phone. Daphne: No, he never suspected a thing. Yes, I had a great time too. Oh go on, Marshall say it again. [after a brief pause she chuckles to herself] Now say it how you said it last night like Donald Duck. [another brief pause but Daphne is now stony faced] Well, I guess it was the wine that made it funny. [the key is heard in the front door and Daphne rushes up] Yes, I'll see you tonight. Bye. True enough, the front door opens and Frasier and Niles come in. Both: Hello. Daphne: Hello. Frasier: Will you be savouring us with any English delicacies tonight? Daphne: Well as a matter of fact, yes. The butcher had in some lovely carved stomachs so I'm going to try my hand at haggis. Daphne heads off to the kitchen leaving Niles looking as though he is about to vomit. Frasier: Even Hannibal Lecter couldn't keep that woman's cooking down! Niles's cell phone rings and he answers. Niles: Hello? Ah, Winchett so looking forward to seeing you at the party. [a pause] Oh, how dreadful. Oh, you poor thing. No, no, of course I understand. The important thing is that you get better. You are a dear for calling... [hangs up phone] ...you lying, two-faced cow! Frasier: So she's not really sick? Niles: Oh, hardly. Maris is luring away all my confirmed guests. Suddenly there are accidents, deaths in the family. A wave of misfortune is sweeping through society's blue bloods at a rate unprecedented since the French Revolution! Martin comes through from the bedroom. Martin: Oh great, you're back. Hey, listen. About last night at the restaurant I'm really sorry. Frasier: Oh, no, no, no Dad. It was my fault. I should have been more gracious. Martin: No, no, it was my fault. I was the one who overreacted. I just really wanted to do something nice for you. You know, the older you get the harder it is to do stuff for your kids. Frasier: I understand. I tell you what. Next three dinners are on you. Martin: [excited] No, no, no. I found something better than that. I finally found something I know you're gonna like. [heading back through to the bedroom] Now just a minute. This is going to be so great. Frasier: My God I haven't seen him this excited since he got that four-in-one remote control! Martin returns with possibly the worst present ever: that painting from Le Cigar Volante complete with matador, bull, blood, guts, spears sticking out of ribcages, etc., etc. While Martin is thrilled with himself it goes without saying that both Frasier and Niles are horrified but try to put on a brave face. Martin: It's a Cordoba. Niles: Ole! Martin: Yeah, you guys were raving about these paintings last night so I went down to the restaurant this morning to find out where they got theirs and lucky me, the ones they had were for sale. Frasier: [trying to find the words] Dad, this is awfully, awfully... Martin: Expensive! Yeah, yeah but it's worth it. You don't know how good this makes me feel. After I'm gone this will still be here. Frasier's face gets increasingly more concerned. Meanwhile Daphne returns from the kitchen. Martin: Hey Daph, come here. Take a look at this. Daphne: Well, I'm very impressed, Mr. Crane. When did you have the time to do that? Martin: Oh, sure. Like I could paint something like this. You know, I was thinking, maybe, we could put it over the fireplace. Frasier: Yes, yes, the fireplace. That's the first place I thought of too! End of Act One Act Two Scene 1 KACL. Frasier is on the phone to a caller whilst Roz is in the booth looking on. Greg: [v.o.] ...and lately I've had the chronic fluctuating mood disturbances which would indicate psychothymic disorder. I mean, the hypomanic symptoms are there and yet I'm experiencing moments of aphasia and aproxia and I just want to pull my teeth out, Dr. Crane. What do you think? Frasier: Well, Greg, two possible diagnoses come to mind. Either you are seriously mentally ill and you should be institutionalized immediately, or you are a first-year psychology student! Greg: Oh yeah, I'm at UW. Frasier: Yes, well, it's not uncommon for students to feel that they're manifesting symptoms that they are studying. It'll pass. Greg: What do I do till it passes? Frasier: Well, just relax. Though it might be a good idea to postpone reading about male sexual disorder until after spring break. [Roz signals to wind up the show] That's all the time we have for today. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, KACL 780. Frasier signs off and Roz comes through to the studio. Roz: Good show. Frasier: Thanks, Roz. Say, Roz, if you're not busy after work would you like, maybe, to get a drink or something? Maybe see a movie? You pick, I'll pay? Roz: [smiling] You can stay out as late as you want but eventually you're going to have to go home and that painting will still be there! [Frasier looks upset at being rumbled] You have to tell him. Frasier: I can't, Roz. You didn't see the look on his face when he gave it to me. Roz: Frasier, have I ever told you about my ceramic hippo collection? Frasier: Oh yes, many times. Roz: The hell I have! Shut up and listen! One Christmas my Grandma sent me a ceramic hippo... Frasier: [interrupting] Roz, a hippo cannot possibly be as repellant as a rabid matador killing an epileptic bull! Roz: Was the bull wearing a pork-pie hat and fishing off a dock? Frasier: Continue. Roz: I made the mistake of telling her how much I loved it. Well, that just opened the floodgates. I got ice-skating hippos and hula-hooping hippos. Thank God for that earthquake. Frasier: Oh, you mean they broke? Roz: Well, I assume they did when they hit the bottom of the garbage chute. But I blamed it on the earthquake, and the point is, you need to talk to your father now and be honest with him or you're gonna be stuck with that thing until the next natural disaster. Frasier: You're right, Roz. Guess I'll just have to tell him this afternoon. [goes to leave the studio but turns back with a thoughtful expression] Oh, Roz - that crystal vase I gave you three years ago for Christmas... er... you said that was broken in the earthquake? Roz: Oh, no, no, that really was. I was very disappointed. As disappointed as you were when Eddie chewed up that sweater I gave you for Christmas! Frasier: [exchanging a knowing look] This year liquor? Roz: Deal! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene 2 Frasier's Apartment. Frasier walks in to find his Dad sitting in his chair. The painting still has pride of place above the fireplace. Frasier: Hi, Dad. Martin: Hey, Fraz. Frasier: You know, Dad, I was just down in the storage room putting away some boxes and guess what I came across that smoking jacket I gave you for Christmas last year? Martin: The shiny one? Frasier: Not shiny, Dad. Silk! I really messed up on that one, didn't I? Buying things for other people it's so hard sometimes, isn't it? Martin: Yeah. [points to a plate beside him] Hey, you want some pastrami? There's more in the fridge. Frasier: Oh, no, no, Dad. I don't really care for pastrami. Isn't that funny? You can love something so much and I would find it distasteful? [sneaks a glance at the painting] People have different tastes, you know? Martin: Yeah, well that's one way of looking at it. Some people like pastrami, like me. Other people don't. They're nuts! There is a knock on the front door and Frasier answers. It's Niles. Niles: Afternoon. Frasier: Afternoon, Niles. Martin: Hi, Niles. Niles: Dad. Frasier, I'm here to pick up the punch bowl for my party. Although at this point a soup bowl might suffice. [he walks past the painting and shudders as he does so] Thanks to Maris I'm down to three confirmed guests. Frasier: Three? Yesterday it was twelve, wasn't it? Niles: She's circulating a vicious rumour that I'm going to have a karaoke machine! Frasier: You know, this vindictive behaviour of Maris's is completely out of line. You know, if you don't want to continue with it you really should call her on the phone. Confront her. Niles: You're absolutely right. It's time I took the bull by the horns. [as he dials he realises what he's said and has another withering glance over at the painting] Sorry! [he gets through to Maris] Maris. Niles. You may feel you've triumphed, but all you've done is shown yourself to be petty and uncivil. Frankly, the only people lower than you are the fickle paramecia that deserted my party to attend yours. [Frasier smiles encouraging him onwards] Uh-huh. Oh, I see. Very well. Yes. I'll see you at eight should I bring anything? Frasier just looks down in contempt. Niles also looks rather sorry for himself as he hangs up. Frasier: Thank God for the starch in that shirt or there'd be nothing holding you upright! Frasier goes off to the kitchen to clean the punch bowl as Martin emerges from his bedroom carrying what appears to be a wine rack but, in line with the painting, it seems a bit tacky with leaves and branches protruding from all areas. Martin: Hey, Niles. Here. [hands him the wine rack] Niles: Well, what's that? Martin: It's a wine rack. Niles: [bewildered] Really? Martin: Yeah. I felt kind of bad about giving Frasier something and nothing for you, so I saw it at PriceBusters. By now Frasier has come out of the kitchen and has a smile on his face as he watches the goings-on. Niles: Well, thank you for the thought, Dad but it doesn't really fit in with the dιcor of my apartment. Martin: [unperturbed] Oh. Oh, well OK. No harm done. I'll take it back. Anybody want a beer? Niles: No, thanks. Frasier: No thanks, Dad. Martin disappears off to the kitchen. Frasier ponders what just happened and obviously realises how easy it can be if he just says what he thinks. Niles: Frasier, I no longer require your punch bowl, but may I borrow your blowdryer? Frasier: Of course. Why? Niles: Sven just finished Maris's ice sculpture and she's convinced she looks a bit "hippy." Niles heads off to Frasier's bedroom. Frasier decides to have it out with Martin and goes through to the kitchen. Frasier: Dad? Are you sure Niles didn't just hurt your feelings there? Martin: No. No. I'm glad he told me. I don't want to give him something he doesn't like. Frasier: That's very wise. You know, it's important that fathers and sons can be honest with each other. It shows respect. You know I've been thinking, Dad, about the painting. You know, art is such a personal thing? What one person may like, another may not? It doesn't mean one of them is right and the other is wrong. Martin: You're telling me you don't like the painting? Frasier: Well, it's not that I don't like it. It's just that I don't love it. It's not me. Martin: Not a problem you don't like it, I'll take it back. Martin turns towards the fridge to get something. Frasier is finally content with himself. Frasier: Oh thank you, thank you, Dad. That's such a relief. You know, I was up half the night worrying about it and I just... [notices Martin is quietly crying] Dad, are you all right? I didn't upset you, did I? My God, Dad, are you crying? Martin: [clearly crying with his back turned to Frasier] No! Frasier: Yes, you are. Yes, you are I just saw you wipe your eye. Martin: [in tears] No, I didn't. Quit looking at me. Frasier: Dad! [breaks into tears as well] I made my father cry! Martin: Now don't you start. Frasier: [sobbing] I'm only crying because you're crying. Martin: [sobbing] I'm not crying. I don't know what this is. I didn't even cry when I got shot! Frasier: [sobbing] I didn't cry when you got shot either. Martin turns and rushes away from Frasier back into the living room. Frasier, still in tears, follows him. This next part of the conversation takes place amidst some serious sobbing, wailing and downright howling. Martin: I'm getting rid of that damn painting right now. I just wish I knew why you told me you loved it so much? Frasier: I wasn't lying. Martin: You can't lie to me! Frasier: Dad. Dad, please. Please stop crying. I want to keep it now. Martin: No, it's no good. Frasier: No, no, it is good. It's very good. I love it. At this point Niles returns from the bedroom. Frasier immediately makes for the coffee table and tries to hide his face. Martin does the same. Niles: Well, I found the... [notices Martin crying] ...the... er... Dad, are you crying? [Martin brushes him off towards Frasier] Frasier, what happ... [sees Frasier sitting down sobbing uncontrollably] Oh my God, you're crying too. [also becoming emotional] Why is everybody crying? You know how I get when other people cry. Tell me what happened. Frasier: [weeping] I made our father cry. Martin: [crying] I'm not crying. Frasier: Well, I am. I'm the most ungrateful son there is! Martin: I can never do anything for my sons! Niles: [finally breaking down into a truly pathetic wail] No one wants to come to my party! [SCENE_BREAK] FAMILY TIES Scene 3 Frasier's Apartment. It is obviously late in the night. Martin is in the kitchen in his dressing gown getting a drink. Frasier, also in his dressing gown, joins him. Both seem to have recovered. Frasier: Dad. Martin: Frasier. Frasier: Don't you think we oughta talk about what happened this afternoon? Martin: Nothing happened this afternoon. Frasier: Look, Dad. I know you're disappointed about the painting. Martin: That's not a problem. Frasier: Well, you said yourself that it wasn't as easy for you to give me things as it was when I was a kid. Martin: Yeah, well I wasn't very good at it then either. Your Mother always picked all your stuff out. Frasier: Still, you did put a roof over my head. Sent me to school... Martin: All right. You want to talk about this? We'll talk about it. [takes a seat] Do people ever come up to you after they've met me and say, "How can that guy be your father? He's nothing like you." Frasier: Well... Martin: 'Cause they've been saying that to me about you for the last four years! I just thought that... I don't know... I'd finally given you something. Something you liked. Something we both liked. That we had something in common or something. That's no big deal. [gets up] I'm going to bed. Frasier: Dad, Dad, just hang on a second, will you? Do you remember a time when I was six or seven years old? You were getting ready for work, you were getting dressed. I was playing with your badge and you sat me down and you said that it was not a toy. That it was a symbol of something very important. Of integrity and honesty and helping people. [Martin smiles to himself as he reminisces] Well, from then on, every time I'd see you put on that badge I would think of that. Martin: I just said that so you'd stop playing with the damn thing. You were getting it all sticky. Frasier: Be that as it may, I've tried to live up to your example and help other people. I've tried as a psychiatrist to conduct myself with the same integrity that you showed as a police officer. And when I find myself in a quandary as to the proper course of action, I think of you wearing that badge and then I know what I have to do. You gave me that! Martin: Yeah? Frasier: Yeah, Dad. Thanks. Martin: You know? I think I may have something else to give you. Something that I know you'll really like. I'll be back in a minute. Martin gets up and disappears to his bedroom leaving Frasier alone with his thoughts. Frasier gets up and walks over to the painting. He has a look at it in an obvious attempt to try and like it. After a moment's sizing-up he shudders and looks away in disgust. Martin returns carrying something. Martin: I've been holding onto this for quite a while now waiting for the right time. [hands over a box to Frasier] Frasier: [shocked] My goodness, Dad. I'm speechless. Your ba... [opens box] ...bow tie! [Frasier is clearly none too impressed having expected something else] Martin: They gave it to your Grandfather when he retired from the force. When I graduated from the Academy he gave it to me, and now I'm giving it to you, and someday you'll give it to Frederick. Frasier: [lost for words] I don't know what to say. Martin: You're not going to start crying, are you? Frasier: No, no, no! It's just a surprise, that's all. Martin: [realising] Hey, wait a minute. You didn't think I was going to give you my badge, did you? Frasier: Well... I... er... Martin: My badge? That's a laugh. You'd have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands! Frasier: It's a date! Martin heads back to bed. Frasier throws the bow tie back in the box in disgust. End of Act 2 [SCENE_BREAK] Roz walks into her booth at KACL and sees a box sitting on her desk waiting for her. She eagerly unwraps it and takes a look inside before pulling out a ceramic hippo with an anguished look on her face. And still it continues as she pulls out another one, and another one, and another one each tackier than the previous.	Plan: A: the cinema; Q: Where did Martin complain that Frasier paid for the tickets? A: Martin; Q: Who is the one who complains that Frasier paid for the tickets? A: Frasier; Q: Who paid for the movie tickets when Martin had agreed to? A: two; Q: How many of the three decide that Martin will pay for the next time they go out? A: Daphne; Q: Who says she is cooking sheep's head soup for dinner? A: Le Cigare Volante; Q: Where did the three of them go instead of eating sheep's head soup? A: reality; Q: What did Niles and Frasier dislike about the painting they had praised? A: tears; Q: What emotion does Martin experience when he finds out that the painting he bought was not liked? Summary: After a trip to the cinema, Martin complains that Frasier paid for the tickets when they had initially agreed that Martin would. The two of them decide that the next time they go out, Martin will pay. So when Daphne says she is cooking sheep's head soup for dinner, the three of them head off to Le Cigare Volante instead. After another argument about money, Martin refuses to pay, but he later tries to make it up by buying a painting from the restaurant. Niles and Frasier had effusively praised the painting so as not to offend the maître d', though in reality they disliked it. Martin is unexpectedly reduced to tears when he finds this out, which in turn reduces Frasier and then Niles to tears.
Opening scene - Cohen house in the morning. Ryan comes in from outside. he throws his school bag on the counter and picks up the remote control to turn the TV on, he goes back into the kitchen. the camera moves back so we can see Seth lying on the couch with his head covered by his robe Seth: (groans) oh dude please turn that off Ryan: Seeeetttthhh Seth: shhh I�m sleeping Ryan: please tell me you weren�t up watching movies all night Seth: I wasn�t man jus dark man an hell boy an the first two matrix's...m-matrises or w-what�s the plural of matrix Ryan: (walks over to Seth with coffee) here (Seth doesn�t move) its coffee (Seth slowly uncovers his head) mmmm (waves the coffee around) Seth: (sits up slightly) mm (takes the coffee) Ryan: you needa get in the shower we got school (goes back into the kitchen) Seth: (sits up properly) I took a shower yesterday Ryan: no you didn�t Seth: (walks into the kitchen) I took a shower the day before yesterday Ryan: an I�m makin you a bagel Seth: no (sits at the counter) (Seth looks like hell, even worse then the wild storm incident) Ryan: you need to eat Seth: my body will tell me when it needs food Ryan: (looks at Seth) just like its telling you when it needs to shower Seth: (puts his hands out) do you not see what�s going on here Ryan: yes your wallowing you've ben wallowing since San Diego an enough�s enough Seth: no I�m not wallowing Ryan, I�m agonising the two are vastly different Ryan: really Seth: yeah see, wallowing that�s like lounging around eating ice-cream watching uh VH1 (Ryan looks at him) but agonising...its more like MTV2 ok its no frills, requires discipline, days of no sleep, no food Ryan: (points) no showering Seth: jus sittin there thinkin an wondering hour after hour if Zach an Summer- Ryan: dont Seth: had sx in the hotel room right next'a mine Ryan: an you did, amazing Seth: Ryan they spent the night in the room right beside mine, how can I not wonder if they had sx Ryan: because it�s pointless an you can obsess about it for the rest'a your life an you'll never really know Seth: yeah, no your right, of course your right...I have to let it go cause there�s no way I will ever know...unless I ask Summer Ryan: what (looks at Seth) Seth: yeah it came to me last night during hell boy see it�s the uncertainty that�s killing me Ryan Ryan: it won�t be the uncertainty killing you if you ask Summer Seth: no see- Ryan: (stern) no - Seth you can�t ask her it�s weird an its creepy an its none'a your business Seth: (clicks his finger) your right (frowns) I don�t know what I was thinkin...its jus lack'a sleep or somethin (stands) ill ask Zach (Seth leaves the kitchen and Ryan looks at him) Theme song - California by Phantom planet Cohen bedroom - Sandy is in there getting ready and Kirsten comes in Kirsten: have you seen Seth Sandy: oh I�ve smelled him...it smells like teen spirit to me Kirsten: (worried) well I tried talking to him but...he jus...shared this long winded review about some movie called (frowns) hell boy Sandy: oh that sounds like lady drama Kirsten: well there seems to be alotta that going around (sits on the couch) Sandy: ...still not ready to forgive an forget (Kirsten doesn�t say anything) (sighs) well I better go an pay my respects to Max Kirsten: you want...some company...some more (smiles) company Sandy: iiiiii...I don�t think that'd be such a good idea Kirsten: well Max Bloom was important to you so he�s important to me I would be happy to go to his service Sandy: oh there�s not gonna be a service Kirsten: what Sandy: well Rebecca could never go, the fed's 'd be there waiting for her you know...its jus gonna be the two of us Kirsten: (stunned) ...the two of you Sandy: look I...I kn...I know it sounds a little weird Kirsten: beyond weird Sandy Sandy: please just hang in there a little longer (Kirsten doesn�t say anything) please Kirsten: (avoiding eye contact) give my condolences to Rebecca, I�m gonna see why my dad keeps calling maybe I can help him with his lady drama (Kirsten leaves the room and Sandy watches, helplessly CUT TO: Caleb�s office - we see through the blinds a very upset Julie yelling. I can�t make out all of it but she says don�t tell me to calm down Cal. the camera then pans and we see Kirsten watching them argue. Lindsay is also there Lindsay: (whispers) Kirsten Kirsten: (turns around) uh Lindsay Lindsay: hey uh Caleb called me last night an asked for me to come over...d'you know what this is about Kirsten: uh...no (looks back at Caleb) maybe we should go inta my off- Caleb: (calls) Lindsay, Kirsten please (motions for them to go in) (Kirsten looks at Lindsay then they both walk into the office) Caleb: thankyou both for coming Kirsten: dad maybe we should come back Caleb: (waves it off) no that�s� unnecessary, Julie an I are finished (Julie doesn�t look happy) I asked you to come here because I want to tell you (motions for Lindsay to sit) uh as long as Lindsay agrees to it (sits) um I would like to formally adopt her (Julie cringes) Lindsay: (happy suprised) oh my god Kirsten: dad that�s I...I�m speechless Caleb: well you may ask why now...isn�t it kinda sudden Julie: yeaah Caleb: well actually its quite the opposite (Lindsay listens) after my heart attack I realised that something could happen to me at any time (Kirsten smiles) this way Lindsay will be an legal heir an ill know that she'll always be taken care of (Lindsay is stunned) Julie: an I told you you have nothing ta worry about (Caleb looks at Julie) I will take care of her (Kirsten shakes her head) I saw that Kirsten Caleb: this is about more then financial security (Julie looks away) (to Lindsay) all through my illness you stood by me...now its my turn (Lindsay half smiles) I would be proud to tell the world that I�m your father Lindsay: (teary) I don�t know what to say (smiles) Caleb: (stands) it�s a big step, but should you decide you want to take it I think a party would certainly be in order (Kirsten has a huge smile) don�t you Juju (Lindsay looks at Julie) Julie: if you'll excuse me I have work to do...(cold) welcome to the family Lindsay (leaves) (Lindsay looks stunned, Kirsten and Caleb look at each other) CUT TO: Harbor school - Zach is in the student lounge sitting on a couch by himself, reading. from over near the counter Seth watches him. Seth STILL looks like hell, he has wide eyes, he�s holding a pen in his mouth and holding a coffee. he walks over to Zach slowly, spits� the pen onto the table and sits next to Zach Seth: hey man Zach: (looks up) hey Seth: (waves) hey Zach: Seth how you doin Seth: good...good...fantastic, so listen I know we haven�t had a chance to talk...since San Diego an I figured I would take this opportunity to clear the air Zach: you know...don�t worry about it, you me Summer working on a comic book together, it�s probably not the best idea in the first place Seth: absolutely, I couldn�t agree more an this way...you know we can still be friends so Zach: (nods) exactly Seth: yeeeaaah...soooo...(Zach looks at him) you guys have a...good time the rest'a the weekend Zach: yeah you know we-we had a great time Seth: great Zach: yeah Seth: great, glad to hear it, so what I�m guessin uh...couple good meals, a trip to Sea World (Zach smiles) maybe a trip to the zoo...a little (raises eyebrows) sx Zach: (frowns) what Seth: what (desperate) is that a yes Zach: Seth Seth: what, you can tell me its ok you don�t even have'ta vocalise it just blink once if you did Zach: (looks at Seth) what're you doing Seth: nothing I�m jus making conversation Zach: oh...because I thought you were trying to figure out if Summer an I had sx in San Diego Seth: what, I would never do that that�s totally creepy an-an boundary crossing an I would never do that Zach: (looks at Seth) good (Seth studies Zach�s face, Zach looks at him and Seth whispers come on) Zach: (had enough) I gotta go ta class (stands)� Seth: (desperate) Zach Zach-Zach-Zach Zach (puts his hand out desperately) jus wait a sec Zach: Seth, go home an get some rest (Seth looks at him) seriously (walks away) (another guy comes over and sits next to Seth. Seth looks at him creepy and the guy leaves) CUT TO: The pier - Sandy and Rebecca are leaning against a railing that looks out over the water. Rebecca is holding Max's urn Rebecca: it meant alot to him...that you were tryin'a help me but...now that he�s gone you don�t need to try (shakes her head) Sandy: I am gonna help you with your case...tomorrow I�m meetin with a guy involved with the FBI things are finally happening...but we gotta let go of the past (looks at Rebecca) focus on your future...what happened the other night...it cant happen again Rebecca: (nods) I know...I understand...he always wanted to be scattered over the ocean (smiles and takes the lid off the urn) Sandy: well...Newport Beach is honoured to have him Rebecca: (nods) goodbye dad (Rebecca leans over the railing and tips the ashes towards the camera. the falling ashes fade away and we see an aerial shot of the pier {it�s done really well!}) CUT TO: Harbor school - Ryan is at his locker and Lindsay runs up to him, excited Lindsay: you are not going to believe this (smiles) (Ryan looks at her) my dad wants to adopt me Ryan: what Lindsay: (laughs) yeah, he told Kirsten an me this morning, isn�t that great Ryan: (thrown) yes, its great (smiles) Lindsay: ooo you don�t think so (they are now walking) Ryan: no I jus, well that�s a little fast Lindsay: well I know an he totally admitted that we still have alotta work to do but (smiles) he was so sweet about...wanting to provide for me an...have everyone know he was my dad I mean I don�t know it was amazing (huge smile) Ryan: it sounds it, was uh was Julie there Lindsay: ugh yeah, you should'a seen the look she gave me like I was some scheming fortune hunter Ryan: well that�s what she understands (smiles) Lindsay: why should I care...its not like she�s adopting me Ryan: no its jus you don�t want Julie Copper as an enemy...and I say that having had Julie Cooper as an enemy (worried smile) Lindsay: ...so you don�t think I should do it Ryan: no I didn�t say that Lindsay: Ryan I�ve ben dreaming of this...for my whole life...that id-id find my dad an-an he�d really wanna be my dad...I mean that�s what matters right Ryan: yeah (smiles) Lindsay: thankyou (smiles) that means alot (Lindsay kisses Ryan then walks off. Ryan looks worried) CUT TO: Cohen front door - we hear the door bell then we see Kirsten open the door. a man and a woman in suits are standing there W: Mrs. Cohen Kirsten: (worried) yes can I help you W: we're agents Stonerock an Tudor (holds up her FBI badge and the man does the same) from the FBI, d'you have a minute (Kirsten looks at them, worried) CUT TO: The Bait Shop - Alex is standing behind the bar and Marissa comes up from behind her, suprising her Marissa: (in Alex�s ear) hey Alex: (gasps and turns around) oh (smiles) don�t you know your not suppose'ta sneak up on people Marissa: oh yeah whys that Alex: because (moves Marissa so she�s up against the bar, and Alex is in front of her) they might be angry (puts her hands either side of Marissa on the bar) (Marissa smiles) so my friends are coming down this weekend an I was gonna have a little party Marissa: wow, how very Newport of you (smiles) Alex: no I was thinking that maybe...you would want to invite Summer Marissa: ...sure, ok Alex: (smiles) ah no, you haven�t told her about us have you Marissa: (smiles) I was going to Alex: its (shrugs) I don�t- I just assumed cause she�s your bestfriend but it�s no big deal you've gotta wait till your ready Marissa: (leans forward and runs her hands down Alex's face, stopping near her neck) I�m ready (moves her hands around the back of Alex�s neck) ok, like you said she�s my best friend (shrugs) I tell her everything, jus make sure your party doesn�t suck ok (smiles) (Alex smiles/laughs and Marissa walks off. Alex bites her lip) CUT TO: Cohen house at night - we see Sandy pulling up in the drive way then we see Kirsten sitting by herself in the kitchen, drinking. Sandy walks in Sandy: hey...do we have guests (Kirsten motions towards a card) (reads) special agent Jill Stonerock, the FBI was here Kirsten: well it wouldn�t be the Cohen house if there wasn�t a visit from someone in law enforcement Sandy: (almost accusingly) what'd you tell em Kirsten: so now your cross examining me (Sandy shakes his head) I told them Professor Bloom came here two weeks ago an asked you to clear Rebecca�s name Sandy: that�s it Kirsten: you mean did I tell them where Rebecca is staying...no I did not Sandy: I�m protected because I�m her lawyer (raises eyebrows) but if you withhold information your obstructing justice, you could be prosecuted Kirsten: are you worried about me with holding information or telling them too much Sandy: it�s not a choice between protecting you, an protecting Rebecca Kirsten: oh I think it is, an I think you've made that choice Sandy (Sandy looks at Kirsten, and Kirsten leaves the room) CUT TO: Caleb�s office - Julie walks in the door and Caleb is sitting at his desk Caleb: what is it Julie I have alott'a work to do Julie: we need to talk about this Caleb: if you mean about my adopting Lindsay I think you've made your position very clear Julie: oh you mean that I seem to be the only one trying to protect you Caleb: as I recall, after my heart attack it was Lindsay at my bedside you were at a spa in Nice Julie: you can hold that against me for the rest of our lives but I am not going to let you rush inta this...now for starters an this may be painful, you need to redo the paternity test, the medical advancements in the past- Caleb: there was no paternity test Julie: (shocked) what Caleb: there was no need Julie: you�re kidding Caleb: do I need to tell you how transparent your motives are Julie: after all the money you've paid out over these years with no proof, I jus thought you were a better business man then that Caleb: Renee is an honest woman Julie: the kind of honest woman who has an affair with a married man (Caleb looks down) (sighs) look, Lindsay...probably is your daughter but don�t you think you have a responsibility (Caleb looks at her) ta this family you�re sure about before diving inta this Caleb: ill think about it Julie: (shrugs) all I wanted (smiles) (Caleb looks as he�s thinking and Julie turns around to leave, pleased with herself) CUT TO: Summers bedroom - Summer is in there holding a pair of boots. Marissa is sitting on Summers bed reading a magazine Marissa: hey so you never told me how San Diego was (Summer looks at her) two nights in a hotel Summer: hm, well lets jus say (sits) little Zach is full of suprises Marissa: wow, I see Summer: (frowns) but I feel really bad I left you alone on valentines, i mean what kind'a friend am I Marissa: oh its ok (smiles) (sits forward) don�t worry about it (bites her lip) actually I...wasn�t alone Summer: what, have you ben holding out on me who were you with Marissa: (goes to tell Summer, but hesitates) no, no I was uh...I was with my mom that�s all Summer: (frowns) oh Marissa: (bits her lip and gets off the bed) so listen um...what're you doing tomorrow night Summer: mm nothing why Marissa: well uh there�s this thing, a party thing Summer: hmm well there�s always a party thing, who's throwing it Marissa: (hesitates) (Summer looks at her as if to say 'well') Caleb Summer: party at Caleb�s, that sounds awesome yes (claps) maybe a little shuffle board (Marissa looks down) a little bingo Marissa: (smiles) I jus thought you'd help keep me company that�s all Summer: (nods/smiles) sure, no prob (Marissa nods. Summers phone rings) Summer: oh, sorry it�s Zach (Marissa looks as though she�s thinking) Summer: yeah, crab shack sounds perfect, my stomach is about to eat itself (looks at Marissa) (Marissa nods) no I haven�t seen Cohen why, well he always smells kinda weird what'do you- ...what...he asked you what (Marissa looks at her) ewww (looks at Marissa) oh (closes her eyes) my god- yeah ok (Marissa raises her eyebrows) bye (hangs up) hm lunch is gonna have'ta wait Coop I have'ta go kick Cohen�s pervy little ass CUT TO: The pier - Sandy is there meeting a guy in a suit Sandy: (runs over) hey Ross its good to see ya, an thanks for makin the trek all the way from LA (sits) Ross: no problem (shakes Sandy�s hand) (sits) any excuse to get outta the office (Sandy laughs) how�s Kirsten Sandy: (nods) she�s fine...despite the nice chat she had last night with two'a your colleagues Ross: you think I sent em, come on you asked me to enquire about Rebecca Bloom (Sandy looks at him) people got curious Sandy: oh, fair enough (sits forward) so what'd you find out Ross: even if she turns herself in, co operates she�s still gonna do serious time Sandy: even if we can prove she wasn�t there Ross: a man died Sandy, an it was her key that let him in the lab...what'd you expect a judge is gonna let her walk, no chance...can we talk as friends for a second Sandy: I thought we were Ross: ...I did my homework...you were involved with Rebecca Bloom Sandy: I was...over twenty years ago Ross: that�s right, a woman who's ben on the run for twenty years suddenly meets this white knight from her past who wants to help her, d'you have any idea what your getting yourself into Sandy: o'course I do...her father was a dear friend'a mine...I owe him Ross: what about what you owe your family...your wife...if you think you know this woman you don�t (Sandy looks at him) she could bring you down Sandy: well thanks for your help (stands) ...an keep your people away from my wife CUT TO: Lindsay�s house - we hear a door bell then we see Renee open the door. Julie is standing there Julie: hi, Renee right...Lindsay�s mom (Renee nods) I�m Julie Cooper-Nichol Caleb�s wife Renee: uh h-how can I help you (frowns) Julie: well actually I thought I could help you...its this adoption business I wanted to give you a heads up (Renee listens) it looks like Caleb is going to ask for a DNA test after all Renee: what Julie: look no one is suggesting that Caleb isn�t the father I mean after all you would've said something right, all these years you've ben taking his money (Renee looks at her) ...god otherwise that would be like fraud wouldn�t it Renee: what exactly are you implying Julie: oh nothing, nothing at all just...well if you do have any doubts, about how the test might affect Lindsay...maybe this adoption isn�t such a great idea, I�m sure you could come up with a diplomatic way to talk her out of it Renee: (had enough) you know thankyou for advice but if you don�t mind Lindsay: (calls out) mom who�s there (comes to the door) Julie Julie: (smiles) Lindsay, I jus came by to remind your mom about the party tomorrow night, I hope she can make it Renee: ill try Julie: you do that (smiles) well anyways I should run you two take care (looks) ...what a cute little house (Julie walks down the path and turns around and waves/smiles. Rebecca looks at Lindsay) Lindsay: we should put garlic up incase she comes back Rebecca: definitely (shuts the door) CUT TO: Seth�s bedroom - Seth is lying on his bed tearing up a drawing of Little Miss Vixen, he dramatically throws the 2 halves over his head. he rolls over and picks up another picture. then we hear a knock on his door Seth: yeah (rips the picture and throws it) Summer: (walks in and picks up a pillow) you asked my boyfriend (hits Seth) if we had sx (hits again) ewww (hits) what is wrong (hits) with you Seth: (cowering) alright I�m sorry Summer: (hits) that is so creepy (hits) do you know how creepy (Seth grabs the pillow) that is Seth: ? with the pillow Summer: ow, seriously what is wrong with you Seth: what�s wrong with me, Summer look at me (Summer folds her arms) since I got back from San Diego I�ve eaten like seven raisins an a pack'a corn nuts (Summer frowns) I haven�t showered, slept like four hours in the last five nights Summer: Cohen Seth: what Summer: look Zach is my boyfriend, your not, that part of my life does not belong to you Seth: yeah I know that...ok I know (Summer looks at him, worried) an its weird an it�s creepy i know an you know what I�m sorry (points) I am...very sorry Summer: well good, you should be (Seth looks away) you�re ripping up your drawings Seth: (softly) yeah why not Summer: (closes her eyes) I�m only saying this for the people that have'ta live with you...take a shower Cohen (Seth shrugs) (quickly) Zach an I didn�t have sx (leaves) (Seth watches Summer leave, and slowly smiles. he lays back on the bed triumphantly) CUT TO:� The inn where Rebecca is staying - Rebecca is sitting on the couch reading and there is a knock at the door. she gets up and opens it Rebecca: hi, I had'a feeling id see you again (motions) you wanna come in (Kirsten walks in with her arms folded, she looks at a photo of Rebecca and Max together) Kirsten: I�m really sorry about your father Rebecca: thankyou um Sandy didn�t tell me you were coming by Kirsten: are you in love with my husband Rebecca: wow...direct...I�m guessing Sandy doesn�t know your here (sits) Kirsten: I�m sorry I just- Rebecca: um...yes I am (nods) I always have ben Kirsten: wow (smiles) direct Rebecca: if ya came by to find out if anythings happened between us...the answers no Kirsten: I�m really sorry for everything that you 've had'ta go through (Rebecca listens) but while you've ben running...we've ben building a family, a life...an he�s putting all that in danger for you (Rebecca looks at her) so you just gotta ask yourself, how much are you willing to let him sacrifice (Rebecca looks at Kirsten not saying anything, Kirsten leaves and Rebecca sighs) CUT TO: Cohen front door - we hear the doorbell and then we see Ryan opening the door. Renee is standing there Ryan: Ms Wheeler Renee: Ryan hi, uh is Kirsten or Sandy here Ryan: uh...no but if you wanna wait (motions for Renee to come in) Renee: (walks in) actually I was hoping to talk to you (they are now in the living room. Renee is sitting opposite Ryan) Renee: I need you to help me talk Lindsay out of the adoption Ryan: (sits forward) what Renee: she wont listen'a me, she thinks I�m jealous...then we got inta this fight, I mean we never fight just if you talk to her Ryan: uh w-why would she listen'a me Renee: because she trusts you...an you know Caleb...you know what he�s like Ryan: well I don�t know I mean, I know what you mean about Caleb but...he has seemed different since his heart attack...an Lindsay wants this so badly, what is it Renee: ...if she goes through with it...Caleb is gonna ask for a DNA test Ryan: (looks at Renee) does Lindsay know Renee: not yet, I love my daughter Ryan an I...I don�t regret anything I�ve done but...(softly) she cant take that test Ryan: (realises) ...is...is Caleb- Renee: he (Ryan looks at her) I really don�t know (Ryan looks at Renee, stunned) CUT TO: The Newport Group - Caleb and Sandy are there together Caleb: Sandy thanks for coming in Sandy: oh I don�t know Cal, meetin at an empty office on a Sunday (laughs) looks suspicious Caleb: what I have to talk to you about is very private Sandy: oh who wants to arrest you now, the DEA, immigration oh the parks service, you ben poachin elk at Yosemite (they are now in Caleb�s office) Caleb: what can you tell me about getting a DNA test Sandy: nooo (sits) the adoption party is in eight hours Caleb: well the papers won�t come through for a couple'a weeks (sits) surely that�s enough time Sandy: so you didn�t do a test when Renee got pregnant Caleb: no I didn�t, it was an affair I was trying to save my marriage the last thing I wanted was a medical record of my infidelity Sandy: yeah for seventeen years you've ben fine payin the bills now on the day your gonna announce her to the world, all of a sudden you want proof, how'dya think Lindsay�s gonna take this Caleb: I would think she would wanna know the truth as much as I do Sandy: oh cut it out, she thinks she�s gettin a father...not a blood test (Caleb stands) you brought me here for my legal opinion here it is, ask for the test, you know your a wealthy man with a large family you'd be irresponsible to do otherwise (Caleb nods) but as a father (stands) I say ask yourself if you love the girl, if you do...nothin else matters (Sandy leaves and Caleb looks as though he�s thinking) [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: Alex�s apartment - Marissa runs up to her door and knocks Alex: (smiles) hello Marissa: hey (they kiss each other on the cheek) I know you weren�t expecting me till later (sees Alex's friends already inside) w-what�s going on Alex: oh party got started a little early, I thought they weren�t coming till tonight but um hey everyone this is Marissa (everyone says hey and hi then goes back to what they were doing. they appear to be all girl couples) Marissa: hi (shocked) Alex: come in let me get you a drink Marissa: (panics) oh no you know I actually can�t stay Alex: what're you talking about Marissa: well I jus...came by to say hi, ill call you later (Alex is confused) (waves) it was nice meeting you (Marissa walks away from the door and down the stairs, relieved. Alex follows her) Alex: Marissa what're you doing, stay Marissa: (stops near her car) no no I cant I�m...gonna be late Alex: but wait your gonna come back later right because I really really want you to meet my friends an that in there didn�t really count Marissa: oh well ill try but Caleb�s having this party at our house Alex: wait, your ditching me for Caleb Marissa: well not jus Caleb I mean...my mom will be there too Alex: oh, wow, now its Caleb an your mom (Marissa looks at Alex) listen Marissa I understand if your freaked out, that�s ok you just have'ta tell me but this hanging with your parents that�s not you Marissa: ill jus be there for a little while, ok ill jus go score some points (shrugs) that way they can�t bitch when I come an see you, right Alex: yeah (Marissa kisses Alex on the cheek quickly and walks to her car, completely freaked out) Alex: have fun at your party...an tell Caleb an Julie I said hi (Marissa shuts the car door, lost) CUT TO: The diner - Seth is stuffing his face with a huge hamburger. he wipes his mouth with a napkin then takes a sip of his drink. he looks much more normal now! he sees Zach come in the door Seth: mm Zach hey (waves) over here (Zach walks over) hey thanks for comin Zach: (sits) no problem Seth: mm I meant to wait (laughs) but I�m starving Zach: uh you look like your feelin better Seth: yeah, I am I am (drinks) um, listen I jus wanted to apologise about the other day, ok, I feel like I was outta line Zach: no Seth its ok man, I don�t blame you, look the fact is Summer an I didn�t have sx in San Diego Seth: Zach (puts his finger to his mouth) shhh (shakes his head) I don�t think we should talk about it Zach: no I know its just...you know after you asked me I started thinkin about it (Seth eats more) an its like there we were you know, the two of us in a hotel room on Valentines Day it seemed like the perfect moment, so why did I hold back (Seth looks at him) I mean I know why I held back...its this no sx before marriage thing which (Seth puts his hand to his mouth and frowns) not that I�m like a crazy religious guy or anything like that its jus...I don�t know its always somethin I sorta believed in Seth: (frowns) but I thought you an uh the tutor (motions with his hands) Zach: no, no I didn�t say we had sx man, I was fourteen she was thirty...but look, Seth what you made me realise is I wasn�t waiting for marriage, I was jus waiting for the perfect moment, a harmony of girl an place Seth: oh yeah no ha-harmony that�s fun Zach: I mean I liked the hotel room in San Diego but...a villa in Tuscany (smiles) (Seth isn�t eating anymore) I mean that�s pretty perfect Seth: that�s jus awesome, so what you�re saying is then that when you two go to Italy you will achieve uh this...harmony (raises eyebrows) Zach: look I jus wanna be straight forward with ya Seth ok so you can plan your freak out accordingly (Seth looks sad again) if you wanna punch me in the face right now id be ok with that Seth: (pushes his plate towards Zach) enjoy (puts money on the table) gonna go home watch some VH1, I think best week ever is on (leaves) CUT TO: The pier - Ryan is standing against a railing and Lindsay is walking up behind him. Ryan has his back to her Lindsay: hey Ryan: (turns around) hey (kisses Lindsay) mmm (Lindsay laughs) thanks for meetin me Lindsay: yeah I was...happy to get outta the house, my mom an I got in this huge fight so I figured id get ready for the party at my dads, what�s up Ryan: eh, jus wanted to talk to ya for a minute, before everything (Lindsay nods) are you sure this adoptions the best idea Lindsay: (looks at Ryan then looks away) (sighs) what Ryan: right now I mean, I know...Caleb seems like he�s changed an I know I�ve said this before but it jus seems like its a little fast Lindsay: (shakes her head and sighs) this is uh great...first my mom an now you (Ryan looks at her) what is everyones problem he�s my dad, he wants to adopt me Ryan: if you jus gave it a little more time Lindsay: why, wh- so uh what we can go bowling...attend a father daughter picnic I �ve ben waiting for seventeen years Ryan: I get it jus (looks away) Lindsay: you think it�s fast...that uh...uh I don�t know Caleb that Julies evil I�ve heard it all (Ryan looks at her) what else is there...I mean what don�t I know Ryan (Ryan doesn�t say anything. Lindsay sighs and starts walking away) Ryan: Lindsay Lindsay: (stops) you know, tonights probably one'a the most important nights of my life (Ryan looks at her, helplessly) an I only want people there who support me so...maybe ill see you (Lindsay walks off. Ryan watches her then looks towards the ocean. he puts his hands in his pockets and looks down. the camera zooms out on him leaning against the railing again) CUT TO: The party - it�s now night an there are people everywhere outside. Julie and Caleb are standing with a woman W: so guys what�s the big mystery, why're we all gathered here Caleb: well if I told you it would no longer be a mystery would it (looks at his watch) excuse me (walks away) Julie: you should get another glass'a champagne, cause this is one suprise you won�t already find posted on the internet CUT TO: Inside the party - Lindsay and Kirsten are together Lindsay: (worried) is it weird that nobody knows why there here Kirsten: well that�s my dad, he loves the suprise announcement (Lindsay smiles nervously) well you know I haven�t seen your mom yet Lindsay: oh yeah uh (shakes her head) she�s not coming Kirsten: oh no is she ok with everything (Lindsay shakes her head. Caleb comes over to them) Caleb: Kirsten, is Sandy here yet Kirsten: no no yet uh he-he�s coming with the boys why Caleb: oh I there�s something I wanna discuss with him (Lindsay looks at him) business Lindsay: oh its a...it�s a really nice party (smiles) Caleb: yeah thanks um...enjoy yourselves (walks away) Kirsten: oh, looks like everyone�s a little nervous (Lindsay looks at Kirsten, worried)� CUT TO: The inn - Sandy opens the door to Rebecca�s room Sandy: hey Rebecca (holds up bag) brought you some Chinese (Sandy shuts the door and looks around, the room is spotless. he walks over to a desk and picks up a letter. he reads it then frowns) CUT TO: Cohen family room - Seth is back on the couch in his robe, not looking quite as bad as before yet. he�s playing the playstation. Ryan is dressed for the party Seth: seriously what was I thinking, that Summer was in the hotel room saying no Zach I cant I�m still in love with Seth Ryan: (fixing his tie) well weren�t you Seth: uh that was kind of a rhetorical question, thanks Ryan: (sighs) why don�t you come to the party, get your mind off it Seth: my mind off the fact that Summer an Zach are going'ta Tuscany to have sx...an fall even more in love then they already are Ryan: (sits) your right, why don�t I stay here we can hang out Seth: (looks at Ryan) dude you cant skip the party Ryan: eh why not Lindsay doesn�t really want me there Seth: course she does, besides you know what I�m fine now (Ryan looks at him, skeptical) I really am I finally realised that it�s over between me an Summer I�m jus venting Ryan: d'you think maybe you should be venting this to Summer Seth: (closes his eyes) hell - no, last time I tried to talk to her about things she nearly decapitated me with my favourite pillow Ryan: I�m jus sayin if you want closure Seth: no I think closures over rated, I�m more of a fan of open ended unrequited love, ok fine ill go talk to her but if I don�t come back alive (dramatically stares) my blood is on your hands (Ryan looks at him) (wiggles his fingers) my blood, your hands (stares) Ryan: I�m gonna go now (looks at Seth) Seth: it'll never wash off (Ryan leaves) your hands (wiggles his fingers) CUT TO: Marissa�s bedroom - Marissa is sitting on her bed reading a book. what I can make out on the cover says PLEASE KILL ME, then PUNK. we hear a knock on the door Marissa: come in (Summer walks in) Summer: well there you are (Marissa sits forward and lowers the book) what�s up with inviting someone to a party (sits on the bed) an then hiding in your room Marissa: sorry I jus couldn�t face it (Summer nods) where�s Zach Summer: (looks down) I don�t know, confession Marissa: what�s wrong Summer: ...remember how I said that in San Diego Zach was full'a suprises (Marissa nods) well suprise (raises eyebrows) Zach doesn�t believe in sx before marriage Marissa: (shocked) what! Summer: yeah, but now apparently he�s changed his mind...an guess who's going to romantic Tuscany next week Marissa: well I mean that�s ok isn�t it, you (shrugs) said you wanted to Summer: well I did its jus that when we were about to (motions with her hands) (Marissa nods) there was this voice in my head Marissa: Seth (raises eyebrows) Summer: an I couldn�t get rid of him (Marissa laughs) ooh an then Zach said he couldn�t have sx an I didn�t wanna explain it (frowns) so I made him believe that I still wanted to but now- Marissa: well hey look (touches Summers shoulder) tell him you've changed your mind, Zach'll understand Summer: (nods) I know...I should just trust him...I mean he at least deserves that right (Marissa looks as though she�s thinking) right Marissa: I�ve ben dating Alex Summer: what Marissa: I mean (worried) Alex an I we've ben dating Summer: (takes it in) w-what! Marissa: jus for a couple of weeks Summer: (nods) Alex...(frowns) Seth�s Alex Marissa: mm-hmm Summer: girl Alex (frowns) Marissa: yeah (unsure) Summer: (nods) huh (Summer looks at Marissa, Marissa looks at Summer. she looks scared about losing their friendship) Summer: well who knows Marissa: uh (shrugs) just you Summer: oh...so you an Alex Marissa: ah-huh Summer: so are you...are you like a- Marissa: no, no I don�t know I�m jus (sincerely) I really like her (shrugs) Summer: well she is pretty hot (makes an I don�t know motion) Marissa: hey look you don�t have'ta say anything I just...I really needed to tell you (Summer nods and closes her eyes) (unsure) we're still friends right Summer: (looks at Marissa) course we are (Marissa looks worried) come here (Summer and Marissa hug) Summer: ohhh (Marissa rubs Summers back) this isn�t turning you on (screws up her face) right (they stop hugging and Marissa laughs and playfully pushes Summer, Summer laughs) CUT TO: The party - Ryan pulls up in the car. he gets out and lets the valet take it. he looks over and sees Renee arrive, he walks over to her Ryan: Ms Wheeler, what're you doin here Renee: I have'ta tell her Ryan: (stands in front of Renee) uh...alright, alright...ill go get her, bring her out it'll be less public that way (we are now inside the party. Ryan is walking around looking for Lindsay. Lindsay sees him and goes over) Lindsay: Ryan (smiles) hi, you came (hugs him) Ryan: (smiles) hey, of course I did Lindsay: um everyone�s out by the pool Ryan: oh great uh wait can you um can you come out front with me for a second Lindsay: what Ryan: uh its jus your mom (sighs) ...she�s here she-she wants to talk to you Lindsay: (looks down) so what are you an my mom working as a team now Ryan: she�s upset alright Lindsay: ah-huh ok well um since your just here delivering messages you can let her know that in a few minutes my dads announcing he is adopting me and (laughs) id really like it if she was there...but if she�s not at least I have one parent who supports me (goes to walk away) Ryan: (holds her arm) ok you cant-you can�t let him adopt you Lindsay: what're you talking about Ryan: ...he might not be your dad Lindsay: (looks at Ryan) what Ryan: your mom told me yesterday (shakes his head) I-I di- I didn�t know how to say anything Lindsay: (shocked) no that�s not true, no stop it Ryan: Lindsay Lindsay: (louder) stop it, why are you doing this (Ryan looks at Lindsay helplessly, Lindsay walks away) CUT TO: Outside at the party - Sandy walks up to where Kirsten is with a group of ladies Sandy: hello folks, hi w-will you excuse us for a second Kirsten: (smiles) excuse me (looks at Sandy) is everything ok Sandy: (upset) well you tell me, Rebecca is gone, what'did you say to her Kirsten: what Sandy: you went to see her what'did you say to her Kirsten: Sandy this isn�t the time or the place Sandy: (pulls out the letter) dear Sandy I talked to Kirsten an I cant allow you to put your family at risk (Kirsten doesn�t say anything) you have no idea what you've done Kirsten: don�t put this on me, you could've gotten her another lawyer, you could'a sent her to another town but you couldn�t let go Sandy: I was trying to clear her name...tell me what ya said Kirsten: I asked her if she was in love with you an she said she was...an you knew it, you knew it the whole time Sandy: I can�t help how she feels, it�s not how I feel Kirsten: Sandy you�re asking me ta believe you, trust you...so do you trust me Sandy: at the moment, I�m not so sure Kirsten: then we have much bigger problems (walks away) (Sandy stands there) CUT TO: Caleb�s study - Caleb is sitting at his desk drinking. Lindsay walks passed his door and knocks Caleb: (looks over) yes Lindsay: hi (smiles) sorry I was looking for you Caleb: (stands) would you sit down (motions) Lindsay: (nervous/worried) uh I just thought...maybe we could make the announcement...now you know just (laughs) just get it over with (Caleb looks at her) I mean that�s...that�s alright isn�t it Caleb: Lindsay (points) sit, please Lindsay: or um...we can wait (sits) a little th-that's (shrugs) that�s fine too Caleb: I know how much (sits) that you've ben looking forward to this day...but I�ve ben thinking...I believe that it would be best for everyone if...we postponed this adoption Lindsay: (teary) (softly) what...why, I mean...what'did I do Caleb: nothing, but you have to understand for a man in my position why I would require that we do a few (sighs) tests (Lindsay is upset) for safety Lindsay: (looks down) you don�t think I�m your daughter, have you talked to my mom Caleb: Lindsay I need you to stay calm Lindsay: (breaks down) no she�s just afraid she doesn�t know you like I do an she'll saying anything ta keep this from happening Caleb: you are (stands) mis reading my intentions, this doesn�t mean that I don�t want to adopt you (Lindsay looks at him) its jus that I...I believe in taking every precaution...and I insist that we do...for everyones sake Lindsay: (laughs in disbelief) I don�t need to take a test (Caleb looks at her) cause I know that my real dad would not treat me this way (leaves, upset) Caleb: Lindsay (Julie appears from around the corner, she looks at Caleb and Caleb looks down) Julie: oh honey...you stay here, ill cover for you ok (Caleb just looks at Julie not saying anything, Julie leaves) CUT TO: Lindsay leaving in her car - she drives off and we see Ryan run after her Ryan: (calls) Lindsay, Lindsay, Linds- (the car disappears and Ryan stops running after it. he just watches breathless and helpless) CUT TO: Outside - there are people gathered near the pool and Julie is standing in front of/above them on like a balcony Julie: excuse me may I have your attention please, thankyou, I know your all wondering why we've asked you here this evening, well (smiles) it is my pleasure to announce that the Newport Group under my leadership is about to launch its very own life style magazine (everybody claps) Newport living will profile hot Orange County trends, events an fashion as determined by me an my staff of...well me (laughs) (everyone laughs and claps) thankyou, thankyou so much for coming (puts her hands on her chest, touched) CUT TO: Alex�s apartment - Alex is sitting outside on a small brick wall, she has her head down and looks very depressed. Marissa walks up to her slowly Marissa: hi (Alex looks up and manages a small smile before putting her head down) where is everyone Alex: (doesn�t look up) oh um turns out I wasn�t really in the mood for a party so the girls went out (looks up) how was Caleb�s Marissa: pretty much...awful (smiles) (sits with Alex) (sighs) listen...I got freaked out Alex: I know Marissa: (explains) its just I tried to tell Summer an I couldn�t (shrugs) Alex: oh (nods) Marissa: yeah and then I came here thinking we'd talk about it Alex: an you got even more freaked out Marissa: I jus figured if I can�t even tell my bestfriend then...maybe I�m not ready for this Alex: (sad) so your here ta break up with me Marissa: but then I told her (smiles) Alex: wait- y-you told Summer about-about us Marissa: (huge smile) mm-hmm (nods) (Alex smiles, suprised) so where'd your friends go Alex: seriously (smiles) Marissa: (puts her hand on Alex�s knees) well you still want me to meet them don�t you (smiles) (Alex smiles) CUT TO: Summers bedroom - Summer is lying on her bed watching something on TV TV: relationships are like geese, they fly north in the winter Summer: so true (knock at the door) Summer: (yells) huh what (Seth walks in and waves) Summer: (frowns) Cohen (turns the TV off) what're you doing here (gets off the bed) I thought I told you to shower Seth: yeah I jus came by so you can get one long final look since you will never ever see me like this again Summer: gee, promise (raises eyebrows) Seth: yeah I do, listen I was under the illusion that there may still be something here but I know now that it was Zach who didn�t wanna have s*x in San Diego so I was suffering for nothing (Summer looks down) have a great time in Italy, have all the fun you want, I�m cool with it...I�m over you Summer: ...well good (nods) good cause um well I think that�s where we both need to be Seth: I do too which is you know why I...came down here, I jus wanted to lay it all out� Summer: (bites her lip) well I�m glad you did because now I can leave knowing that you�re ok Seth: yeah I�m fine (nods) huh so um uh-hm parting amicably which is-is good its nice (nods) Summer: see ya Cohen Seth: yeah alright, see ya Summer (goes to the door) (Summer looks almost sad) hey uh Summer: hm Seth: send me a postcard Summer: (smiles) ok (Seth nods and leaves. Summer does not look very sure of herself) CUT TO: Cohen family room - Seth and Ryan are sitting on opposite ends of the couch watching TV, Sandy comes in Sandy: hey (Seth and Ryan both mumble) Sandy: is your mother home Seth: no Sandy: (looks at the TV) what're you watching at the same time: Seth: hell boy Ryan: hell boy Sandy: oh, what�s it about Ryan: see hell boy was adopted by this scientist an raised to be a hero Seth: but...turns out his destiny is ta open the gates'a hell so Ryan: so he tries to do good but...he usually ends up destroying everything Sandy: well that�s my kinda hero (puts the Chinese down) (Seth moves closer to Ryan) so (sits, taps Seth�s leg) how was your night Seth: uh sucks, Summer hates me Sandy: an yours Ryan: (looks at Sandy) Lindsay hates me Sandy: (nods) well how bout some Chinese, take the edge off Seth: (screws up his face) I can�t Ryan: its (screws up his face) Seth: ick Sandy: (laughs) yeah, me neither	Plan: A: Rebecca; Q: Who pays her last respects to her father? A: Sandy; Q: Who is Kirsten impatient with? A: a visit; Q: What does Kirsten pay Rebecca? A: Alex; Q: Who invites Marissa to hang out with her friends? A: Caleb; Q: Who decides to remove all doubt that Lindsay is his daughter? Summary: While Rebecca pays her last respects to her father, Kirsten grows impatient with Sandy's long absences from home and pays Rebecca a visit. Alex invites Marissa to hang out with her friends. Meanwhile, Caleb decides to remove all doubt that Lindsay is his daughter.
Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale State Beach at night. There is a large party going on with about fifty students in attendance. "Mann's Chinese", by Naked, plays in the background. The camera pans from a few parked cars through the crowd of students laughing and celebrating and stops at a fire, where Xander, Cordelia and Willow are warming themselves. Xander: All I'm saying is, it's a stupid idea to have a victory party at the beach. It's officially nippy. (looks down at himself) So say my nips. Willow: I think it's festive. A party with nature. Cordelia: Well, it's the team's choice. It was their victory. Xander: Team? Swim team. (chuckles) Hardly what I'd call a team. The Yankees. Abbott and Costello. The 'A'. Now, those were teams. Cordelia: Jealous? Xander: No. Y-yes, but 'no' more than 'yes'. A member of the swim team staggers by with a girl under each arm. Xander: I mean, look at that. (indicates them) Dodd McAlvy. Last month he's the freak with Jicama breath who waxes his back. He wins a few meets and suddenly inherits the cool gene? Cordelia: Well, all I know is, my cheerleading squad wasted a lot of pep on losers. It's about time our school excelled at something. Willow: Hmm. You're forgetting our high mortality rate. Cordelia smiles at that. Xander: (pumps his fist) We're number one! (looks around) Huh? He gets a few positive responses from nearby students. The camera pans from them over to Buffy sitting by herself behind a pile of sand and staring out over the ocean with a tuned-out look on her face. After a moment another member of the swim team approaches her from behind. Cameron: Beautiful. (stands behind her) Isn't it? Buffy: (still staring at the ocean) Yeah. It's just so... Cameron: Eternal. A true mother, giving birth to new life and devouring old. (sits behind her) Always adaptable and nurturing... yet... constant... and merciless. Buffy: (looks at him) Boy. I was just gonna go with big and wet. Cameron: (laughs) Me and some of the other guys on the team, we come out here once a week to train in it. See, we swim against the current. Buffy: Funny. That's how I feel most of the time. (turns to him) So, Cameron Walker, you just won the state semifinals. What are you going to do next? Cameron: I'm going to hang out with Buffy Summers. Get to know her. Buffy: (looks down for an instant) Hey, pause that tape for a second. Cameron: Hey. No pressure. I just like being around you. That's all. They both look out over the ocean for a moment. Then behind them a lot of shouting and laughing starts. Jonathon: Somebody help me! Buffy and Cameron both turn to look. Cut into the drink tub looking up through the ice floating on the surface. Jonathon's face gets pushed into the water and shaken around. Cut to Dodd harassing him. He pulls Jonathon's head back out of the tub and holds him back by the hair. Dodd: Come on, Jonny, you gotta hold your breath longer than that if you ever wanna make the team! Hey, somebody time him! He shoves Jonathon's head back into the tub. Suddenly a hand appears on his shoulder and pulls him up, raising his short sleeve in the process. He has a tattoo of a mean-faced shark smoking a cigar on his upper arm. Dodd: Hey! Buffy: Nice tat. What, they ran out of Tweety bird? She shoves him down to the ground. Jonathon coughs at the side of the tub. Dodd: Hey, what's your problem? Cameron: (chuckles) You had it coming to you, bro. Dodd gets up and starts to confront Buffy, but Gage gets between them. Gage: Chill, dude. A bunch of us are gonna take a little night dip down on the beach. You in? Dodd: Whatever. They start to go. Buffy turns her attention to Jonathon. Buffy: Hey, let's, let's get you a towel. Jonathon: (waves her off) No. Why don't you mind your own business? I can handle this without your help. (leaves) Buffy: (sighs) See? It's fun to hang out with me. Cut to Dodd and Gage walking further down the beach. Dodd: I can't believe Buffy. Man, that girl gives me the creeps. He lags behind a bit and then stops, staring out over the ocean as Gage continues to walk. He looks back and forth with his eyes between the ocean and Gage walking ahead of him. After a long pause he continues to walk as well. Cut to Gage. He smells something and stops in his tracks. He takes another sniff of the rank-smelling air. Gage: Oh! Dude! What is that foulness? He looks behind him and sees that Dodd has disappeared. Gage: Hey, Dodd! (looks around the other way) Dude! (gives up) Huh. He goes on to the group of people gathered under the pier. The camera stops following him and pans up the beach. A muffled scream can be heard followed by some tearing sounds and painful moaning. Finally a deep growl is heard as the camera reaches Dodd, or at least what's left of him. It's just a pile of ripped-up clothes and torn and bloody skin steaming in the cold night air. The camera stops on his shark tattoo for a moment, then pans up to a large storm drain coming out of the hillside. A hunched-over creature walks into it. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Computer science class at Sunnydale High School. The camera focuses on a pie chart appearing on a student's screen. Willow walks up the aisle, and the camera follows her through the classroom as she looks around at the students' work. Willow: Okay! Good pie charts, everyone. (looks at another) Good. (looks at another) All good. Girl: Thanks. Willow: (continues on) Nice. (walks around another) Good. (looks at Gage's PC) Gage. Your pie chart is looking a lot like solitaire... (looks closer) with naked ladies on the cards? Gage: (looks up at her) What's your point? The bell rings, and Gage gets up to go. Willow: No point. Principal Snyder walks into the room past the leaving students. He spots Gage and stops. Snyder: Nice work in yesterday's meet, son. Now, let's go for it. (pumps his fist) Gage gives him an acknowledging nod and continues out of the classroom. Snyder turns his attention to Willow. Willow: Uh, hi there, sir. Snyder: Rosenberg. How's the class? Everything in order? Willow: (worried) Well, actually... Snyder: (interrupts) Great. I've been talking to the board. We've been having trouble finding a competent teacher this late in the term. Do you think you could continue subbing through finals? Willow: (smiles) Oh! Sure! I like teaching. Snyder: Isn't that nice. You're a team player, and I like that. A team player wants everyone on the team to succeed. Wants everyone to pass. Willow: Well, yeah. Sure. (goes to her desk) Snyder: (follows her) I understand there's a problem with Gage Petronzi. He stops at one of the PC's and looks at it with his back to Willow. Willow: Oh, good, then you know. Well, yeah. Besides the behavior problem, he won't do homework, and his test scores are... Snyder looks up exasperated, not wanting to hear this. Willow: Well, actually, he doesn't have any test scores because he never shows up when we have... Snyder: (turns to her and interrupts) I'm not interested in any of that. I'm interested in why, when this school is on the brink of winning its first state championship in fifteen years, you slap a crucial member of that team with a failing mark that would force his removal. Is that how you show your school spirit? Willow: (flustered) Yes. Well, I mean... no. I'm just trying to grade fairly. Snyder: Gage is a champion. He's under more pressure than the other students. And I think we need to cut him some slack. He starts to leave the classroom. Willow considers his words for a moment. Willow: You're asking me to change his grade? (faces him) Snyder: (stops and turns back) I never said any such thing. (steps over to her) All I'm suggesting is... that you recheck your figures, and I think we'll find a grade more fitting to an athlete of Gage's stature. Perhaps something in a 'D'. He turns and leaves. Willow is unsure of how to deal with what he just told her. Cut to the halls. Xander, Cordelia and Willow come down the stairs and walk down the hall. Xander: Just like that? He actually told you to alter his grade? Willow: Exactly. Except for actually telling me to. But he made it perfectly clear of what he wasn't telling me. Xander: That is wrong, a big, fat, spanking wrong. It's a slap in the face to every one of us who studied hard and worked long hours to earn our D's. Cordelia: Xander, I know you take pride in being the voice of the common wuss, but the truth is, certain people are entitled to special privileges. They're called winners. That's the way the world works. Xander: And what about that nutty 'all men are created equal' thing? Cordelia: Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving. Xander: I think that was Lincoln. Cordelia: (exhales) Disgusting mole and stupid hat. Willow: Actually, it was Jefferson. Cordelia: Kept slaves. Remember? Xander: You know what really grates my cheese? That Buffy's not here to share my moral outrage about swim team perks. Cut to Cameron's Mustang pulling up to the school. Buffy is in the passenger's seat. Xander: She's too busy being one of them. Cameron: I don't know, a dolphin. A dolphin in the ocean. Because, you know, when I'm in the vastness of the ocean, it's... (they pull to a stop) it's like I'm never alone. He turns off the engine and leans against his door to face Buffy. She leans her elbow against her door with her head propped up on her hand. Cameron: You ever hear of a woman named Gertrude Ederle? Buffy: No. No, I can't say that I have, Cam. Cameron: First woman to swim the English Channel. (Buffy nods slowly, bored) Same thing. I mean, she would talk to it. I mean, she'd carry on entire conversations with it. Sometimes I do that. I mean, once I was out in... Buffy: (sits up) You know what, Cam? Thanks. I'd forgotten how nice it is to just talk, or, in my case, listen, without any romantic pressure. Cameron: Hey... I'm not about pressure. I just want you to be comfortable. Buffy: (smiles) I'm comfy! I'm so comfy, I'm nodding off actually, which is why... Cameron: (interrupts) Are you wearing a bra? (looks at her suggestively) Buffy: (in disbelief) What? Cameron: (grins) Come on. I mean, tell me you haven't been thinking about this ever since last night. Buffy: What I'm thinking about is that I should probably get out of this car... She reaches for the door lever, but Cameron quickly hits the master lock button, locking her in. Cameron: Relax. I'm not gonna hurt you. Buffy: Oh, it's not me I'm worried about. Cameron: (snickers) You like it rough! He reaches over to put his arm around her, and she grabs it and pulls him down toward her. Cameron: Ow! With her other hand she grabs the back of his neck and jerks him up. Cameron: Oh! She smashes his head into the steering wheel. The horn honks. Cameron: Oh! He sits up and holds his nose in pain. Cameron: Ah! Buffy notices Principal Snyder outside of the car. He walks up to the front and looks in through the windshield at her. Cameron: Oh, you broke my nose! Buffy cringes at the sight of Principal Snyder. Cameron: Ah! Snyder raises his hand and motions with his finger for her to come with him. Cameron groans in pain. Cut to Nurse Greenleigh's office. She slams a cold pack onto a table to start the chemical reaction and kneads it a little before holding it up to Cameron's nose and gently laying it on. Cameron: Ow! He takes hold of it, and the nurse leaves him alone. The camera pans over to Buffy. Buffy: I wasn't the attacker, Principal Snyder. I was the attacked. Snyder: That's not how it looked from where I was standing. Cameron: I don't know what happened. I mean, first she leads me on, then she goes schizo on me. Buffy: (steps over to him) Lead you on? When did I lead you on? Cameron: Oh, come on. (to Snyder) I mean, look at the way she dresses. She looks down at herself. The door opens, and the swim team coach, Carl Marin, comes in. Buffy steps back and leans against a table. Snyder: Coach. Coach Marin: How we doing, Cameron? (goes to him) Snyder: (follows) Coach Marin, how bad does it look? Coach Marin: Well, luckily, it's not broken, but sure as hell it's gonna sting for a few days. Snyder: (leads the coach away from Cam) I mean our chances of winning the state championship. Coach Marin: Oh. Snyder: Can we still do it? Coach Marin: I'm gonna need Cameron back at a hundred and ten percent. Uh, he's my best swimmer, now with Dodd, uh... Buffy: What happened to Dodd? Snyder: That's none of your concern. You'd better hope that boy's nose heals before the meet this Friday. Coach Marin: (goes to Cam) Walker, I want you to hit the steam room as soon as you're done here and try to keep those sinuses clear. (to the nurse) Take care of my boy, Ruthie. Nurse Greenleigh: I always do. Coach Marin: (steps over to Buffy) And you... try to dress more appropriately from now on. This isn't a dance club. He leaves the office. Snyder gives Buffy a look and follows the coach out. Cameron looks over at her and grins. Cut to the library. Buffy stands between the cage and the table and talks toward the table behind the camera. Buffy: So I'm treated like the baddie just because he has a sprained wrist and a bloody nose. (considers) And I don't have a scratch on me, which, granted, hurts my case a little on the surface, but meanwhile he gets away with it because he's on the 'aren't we the most' swim team... The camera cuts to show Xander, Giles and Willow studying a number of books at the table. They all look up at her. Buffy: ...who, by the way, if no one's noticed, have been acting like real jerks lately... She notices their expressions of impatience and tries to find some sympathy there. They have none to give. Buffy: So, (giggles nervously) anything new with you guys? (sits) Giles: Thank you for taking an interest. Apparently, some remains were found on the beach this morning. Some human remains. Willow: Dodd McAlvy's remains. Buffy: Vampire? Giles: No. No, he was eviscerated. Nothing left but skin and cartilage. Xander: In other words, this was no boating accident. Buffy: So something ripped him open and ate out his insides? Willow: Like an Oreo Cookie. (Xander shoots her a look) Well, except for, you know, without the chocolatey cookie goodness. Giles: Yes. Um, Principal Snyder has, has asked the faculty to keep the news quiet for now, um, so as not to unduly upset the students. Xander: For 'students': read 'swim team'. Willow: So, we're looking for a beastie. Giles: That, uh, eats humans whole... except for the skin. (looks into his book) Buffy: This doesn't make any sense. Xander: Yeah. The skin's the best part. Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol? Giles slowly turns to her and gives her a look. Buffy: (points at Giles) You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh. Cut to the steam room in the boy's locker room. Cameron sits in it alone. Cut to another view of the locker room. The camera pans around it. The place is deserted. Cut to the steam room. Cameron feels his nose and groans. Cut to the locker room. The camera slowly moves through it and looks around. Cut to the steam room. Cameron hears a noise and looks up and around. Cut to the locker room. The camera has reached the steam room. On the adjacent lockers a shadow can be seen approaching the door. Cut inside the steam room. Cameron ignores the noise and goes back to relaxing. Suddenly the door to the room opens, and he looks up startled and sees the coach come in. Coach Marin: Okay, son, I think you've had enough. Time to hit the shower. (walks off) Cut to the student lounge. Xander walks down the hall counting out change in his hand. Xander: Too much research. Need beverage. He walks through the doors to the lounge area and is practically run over by Cameron coming down the other hall at a fast pace, knocking Xander's change onto the floor. Cameron: Hey! Watch it. Xander: Oh, forgive me, your Swim Teamliness. He makes a bowing gesture as he bends down to pick up his change. Cameron turns to go. Cameron: Loser. Xander: Likin' the nose, Cam. Good look for you. (stands back up) Cameron: Meaning what? (faces Xander) Xander: (steps over to Cam) Meaning Buffy must not be on your list of privileges after all. (chuckles while Cam crosses his arms) Man, I love it when you guys mess with her. Cameron: (shakes his head) You're lucky I'm hungry. Xander: (in mock sympathy) Oh, the cafeteria's closed. Cameron: Not to me. (leaves) Xander guffaws as he watches him go. Cut to the cafeteria. The camera pans past the empty steam table. Cameron walks in the door and starts toward the kitchen. Halfway through the dining area he stops and sniffs the air. Cameron: God, what is that? Cut to the hall. Xander stands in front of the vending machine and contemplates his choice of beverage, pointing at the buttons on the front panel. Xander: Grape, orange. Orange, grape. Suddenly he hears screaming and loud crashing noises coming from the cafeteria and turns to look, then starts to run. Cut to the cafeteria. Xander comes rushing in. He slowly walks through while looking around. The place is a shambles, with tables and chairs knocked over everywhere. He sniffs the air and looks down as he passes a table. There he sees Cameron's remains, just a pile of torn clothes and steaming skin. Xander: Oh, my God. He puts his hand over his mouth in shock and fights back his urge to vomit. He straightens back up and turns to go. Standing there blocking his way is a dark green humanoid sea monster with catfish whiskers, sharp teeth and three scaly ridges across the top of its head, roaring loudly. Xander screams and backs away. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Xander is standing behind Cordelia sitting at the table and watches her sketch the monster he saw. Xander: No, no, no! The mouth's a lot bigger! And downward. Like this. She looks at him make a face with the corners of his mouth turned down, and she sighs. Xander: With more teeth! She's had enough. She puts the sketchpad down, gets up and goes over to Giles at the counter. Cordelia: I'm doing the best I can. Giles takes off his glasses and looks up from his book over at Xander. Giles: Is that what you saw, Xander? Xander: (picks up and looks at the sketch) Y... yeah! (considers) I think so. (considers some more) Pretty much. Giles: Aaaaare you sure? Cordelia faces Xander and crosses her arms. Xander: Well, it was dark! And the thing went through the window so quick, and I was a... little shocked when I saw it, and... Cordelia: Go ahead. Say it. You ran like a woman. (grins) Xander: Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman, too. Willow and Buffy come into the library and head for the counter. Willow: Buffy was right. According to the statistics, Dodd and Cameron were the best swimmers on the team. (hands Giles the figures) Buffy: First and second, actually. Which means if my theory's correct, Gage Petronzi, the third-best swimmer on the team, would be the next item on the menu. Cordelia: God, this is so sad. We're never gonna win the state championship. I think I've lost all will to cheerlead. Xander: (goes to the counter) Raise your hand if you feel her pain. Cordelia gives him a disgusted look. Giles: If you're saying these killings aren't random, it would suggest someone's out for revenge. Buffy: And raise the possibility that someone brought forth this sea monster from whence it came to exact that revenge. (reconsiders her words) 'From whence it came'? (Willow smiles) (to Giles) I'm spending way too much time around you. Xander: Who would hate the swim team that much, though? (gets looks from Buffy and Cordelia) Besides me, I mean. Willow: (raises her hand) Ooo! Buffy: Willow? Willow: Jonathon! He was bullied by Dodd the other day on the beach, remember? Buffy: He did say he could take care of things himself. It's a good call. You should question him. Willow: (smiles) Really? Me? (menacingly) I'll crack him like an egg. Giles: Meanwhile, I think, uh, swimmer number three might benefit from your... watchful eye and protection. Discreetly, of course. Buffy: I'm on it. (leaves) Xander: What about me? What can I do? Cordelia: Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man. Xander hugs his arms around himself to protect against the sting of her words. Cut to the student lounge. Gage is sitting and playing with his GameBoy on one of the couches with his feet up on the table. The camera pulls back until Buffy is also in view, sitting in a chair and watching him while pretending to read a magazine. Gage can feel her eyes on him and shoots her a glance. Buffy quickly jerks her head back to stare into her magazine. Gage shakes the feeling off and goes back to his GameBoy. Buffy slowly turns her head to watch him again. Cut to Willow's classroom. Jonathon is sitting in a chair at the front of the room. Willow aims a reading lamp at him. The camera pans from it up to her face, determined to get what she wants out of him. Willow: So, Jonathon. (crosses her arms) You tried out for the swim team twice and never made it? Jonathon: (fidgets) I'm asthmatic. I couldn't keep up. Willow: You resented it, didn't you? Jonathon: Maybe. Willow: (approaches him) You hated being pushed around by Dodd and the others. Jonathon: So? Willow: (walks around to his other side) So, you wanted revenge. Didn't you? (leans in suddenly) (sternly) Didn't you?! Jonathon: (nervously) Yeah! Okay? I did! Willow: (smiles and straightens back up) So... You delved into the black arts and conjured up a hellbeast from the ocean's depths to wreak your vengeance. Jonathon: Huh? Willow: Didn't you? Jonathon: (confused) What? No! I snuck in yesterday and... peed in the pool. Willow: (disappointed) Oh. (disgusted) Eww! He looks down in shame. Cut to the halls. Principal Snyder and Coach Marin walk in from outside and walk into the student lounge. Coach Marin: This is such a blow. Sooner or later, the rest of my boys are gonna find out. How can I ask them to swim? Snyder: (quietly) It's a terrible, terrible tragedy. We all feel your pain, coach. I don't know two finer boys than Cameron and... that other one. (they stop) But I know they'd want their friends to go on and win that state championship. It's time to think about the team. Coach Marin: Well, I don't have a complete team as it is. If we don't find someone by this afternoon's tryouts, we won't be eligible to compete. Snyder: You'll find someone. (they continue) All he has to do is wear a bathing suit, right? The camera follows them for a moment and then stops on Xander. He overheard, and he looks back and watches them go. Cut to the Bronze. There's a DJ tonight and no cover charge. People come and go. Cut inside. The DJ is playing "If You'd Listen", by Nero's Rome. Buffy is at the bar sucking on a drink and watching Gage at a pool table practicing shots by himself. Lyrics: If you'd listen, we wouldn't have to go through this Gage takes a shot and makes it. He walks around the table for his next one. Lyrics: If you'd just let me finish / Stop cuttin' and jumpin' ahead Gage bends down and makes his next shot. Lyrics: Yeah, if you'd just shut your pretty mouth / You'd save yourself some tears Buffy is bored at the bar, and gets up. She looks around nonchalantly and walks closer to the table, then gets behind a pillar and peeks out from behind it at Gage. Her change of position is not lost on Gage, and he stiffens up, frustrated at being watched so closely. He shoots her a look, and she quickly looks away. Gage has had enough. He puts down his pool cue and walks around behind the pillar. Lyrics: You came back from the bathroom Buffy peeks back at the pool table and sees he's gone. She steps around to the other side of the pillar to look around and practically runs into Gage. Lyrics: With somethin' on your shoe She steps back over to the pool table side of the pillar, and Gage follows her around the other way and leans against it. Lyrics: Yeah, draggin' it behind you Gage: This me-and-my-shadow act? It's getting old. What do you want from me? Lyrics: Lookin' kinda foolish Buffy: Well, um... (exhales nervously) It's a little embarrassing. You see, I'm a swim groupie. Gage: (unconvinced) Aha. Buffy: Oh, yeah. (smiles and exhales) You know, there's just something about the smell of chlorine on a guy. Oh, baby. Gage: (disbelieving) Hmm. (turns to go) Buffy: (runs around him) Uh, okay, okay, okay. (stops him) Obviously, my sx appeal is on the fritz today, so I'll just give it to you straight. There's something lurking out there, and it's making fillets of the populace, and I think you might be next. Gage: Uh-huh. And you think that because? Buffy: Well, it's already attacked. It's already killed some people. Gage: You're one twisted sister, you know that? Cam told me about your games. Go find someone else to harass. He bumps her as he walks past her and out of the Bronze. Buffy sighs and looks down in defeat. Cut outside the Bronze. Gage comes striding out. Gage: What a psycho bitch, man. Angelus comes out from behind a pile of crates. Angelus: Gotta be talking about Buffy. Gage: (stops and faces him) How'd you know? Angelus: Uh, she and I... had this thing once. Biggest mistake of my life. Gage: Yeah. My condolences, dude. (turns and goes) Angelus: (follows) She's a real head-tripper. Gage: Tell me about it. Girl acts like she's God's gift or something. Angelus: Who is she? The Chosen One? Gage: Exactly. Angelus: You know, what she really needs is for someone to really knock her down off her notches. Gage: Yeah, that'd be sweet. Anyone in mind? Angelus: You're in luck, my friend. Gage turns to look at Angelus and sees that he has disappeared. Angelus: Just so happens... Gage turns back quickly and sees Angelus standing there in front of him in his game face. Angelus: ...I'm recruiting. Gage looks horrified as Angelus grabs him and bites his neck. Gage: No! Buffy strolls out of the Bronze and hears Gage's screams. Gage: Ah! Somebody! Help! Ah! Help! Ah! Ah! Get him off me! Help! Ah! She rushes to his aid. Cut to Angelus. He drops Gage and begins to spit out his blood. He wipes his mouth and spits some more. Buffy comes running around the corner, and just as he looks up she does a roundhouse kick to his face. He isn't fazed, and just looks at her. She pulls out the stick holding her hair up and holds it ready to stake him as her hair falls down around her face. Angelus: Why, Miss Summers! You're beautiful! He quickly bends down, picks Gage up and throws him at her, knocking her to the pavement. He spits a few more times and leaves smiling. Buffy scrambles to her feet and watches him go. Gage gets up also and rubs his neck. Gage: Oh. Was that the thing that killed Cameron? Buffy: No. That was something else. Gage: (confused) S-something else? Buffy: Yeah. Unfortunately, we have a lot of something elses in this town. Good night. (goes) Gage looks back and forth between Buffy and the direction Angelus went. Gage: Hey! Buffy stops and looks back at him. He goes over to her. Gage: (laughs nervously) Walk me home? She motions for him to follow, and they leave. Cut to the pool at Sunnydale High School. Six members of the swim team are on the blocks ready to start a heat. Coach Marin: Swimmers! Take position! They all bend down to dive in. The coach blows his whistle, and they're off. He walks along the edge of the pool past the stands as they swim. Willow, Buffy and Cordelia are watching from the stands. In the middle of the pool Gage stops, stands up and lifts off his goggles. Coach Marin: Keep the stroking up. Alright. Keep it going, keep it going all the way to the end. All the way to the end. Breathe deep. Gage sees Buffy in the stands and waves to her. The coach blows his whistle. Buffy waves back to Gage discreetly, but Willow notices and gives her a smile. Buffy looks back at her with a smile. Coach Marin: Gage! You with us or not? (Gage swims off) C'mon, let's go! Cordelia: (to Buffy) So he spit it out? I thought Angel liked blood. Buffy: He used to. Willow: Maybe his eyes were too big for his stomach. Buffy: Or maybe there was something in Gage's blood that Angel didn't like. Say, for example, steroids. Willow: That would explain all their behavioral changes. Cordelia: And their winning streak. Willow: So maybe whatever's in their blood is what's attracting this creature to them. Buffy: Any luck researching our fish monster? Cordelia: Zippo. We couldn't find any sea demon that matched the description that Xander gave us. Not that Chicken Little's much of a witness, but... Her eye is caught by a swimmer coming out of the locker room. Cordelia: Oh. The camera cuts to a shot of the swimmer's knees and pans up along his athletic legs, past his crimson Speedo's and tight abs and up to his hairless chest. Cordelia: Oh! Oh, my! Now, that, girls, is my kind of... The camera reaches the swimmer's face. Willow: Xander? (stares in wide-eyed shock) Cordelia: (shocked) Xander?! When he hears their voices he scrambles over to a pile of kickboards, grabs the one off the top and hides himself behind it. The girls all get up and come down from the stands. Xander scrambles over to them. Cordelia: What the hell are you doing here? Xander: Shh! I'm undercover. Buffy: Not under much. (grins) Cordelia: Get out of here before someone sees you impersonating a member of the swim team! Xander: I don't do impersonations. I tried out for the team last night. I made it. Cordelia: (intrigued) Really? Xander: Yeah. I figured I can keep an eye on Gage and the others when Buffy can't. Willow: (eyes wide) When you're nude? (gets a nudge from Buffy) I-I meant to say 'changing'. Coach Marin: Harris! You can flirt on your own time! Xander: Okey-dokey, coachie. He backs away and goes to join the rest of the team, covering his butt with his free hand. He lamely tosses the kickboard back onto the pile, but it just falls off. He reaches the others and listens in on what the assistant swim coach is saying. Cordelia: (smiles proudly) I'm dating a swimmer from the Sunnydale swim team! Buffy: You can die happy. She and Willow watch as Xander gets up on a starting block and puts on his swim cap. Buffy: (to Willow) What about Jonathon? Is he involved? Willow: Oh, no. He just... sort of... peed in the pool. Buffy: Oh. The girls look back at Xander to watch as he dives in. His dive is a bit sloppy, but not at all bad. The girls all look on in wide-eyed shock as they realize what he just dove into. Buffy: (cringes) Oh! Cut to the steam room after practice. The camera looks in through the window from the locker room. Xander joins the others and finds an available spot. Xander: Don't you guys get claustrophobic in here? (sits) I mean, what's the deal? You perspire a lot. You can't breathe. O-or read. I mean, I guess you could, but the pages would probably get all wet. The camera pans down from the window to a grate in the floor of the locker room. Several green, clawed fingers poke through and lift up the grating. Cut to the halls outside of the locker room. Buffy waits for Xander and Gage to come out. She leans against the wall and exhales. A moment later Xander comes out with a towel over his head, rubbing his hair dry. Xander: You gotta love this undercover deal. Twenty minutes in a hot room with a bunch of sweaty guys... Buffy: Where's Gage? Xander: I don't know. He was right behind me, putting his sneakers on. But it's not the Velcro kind, so give him a couple of extra minutes. (taps her on the shoulder) Tag. You're it. (leaves) Buffy sighs and resigns herself to waiting. Cut to the locker room. Gage is tying his shoes on a changing bench. He sniffs, smelling something foul. He sniffs at his own armpits to see if it isn't himself he smells. It's not, and he gets up to investigate. He walks through the locker room looking around, passing the steam room and the whirlpool bath. The smell gets stronger as he goes down a row of lockers. He sniffs deeply outside of one and opens it. Cut to the hall. Buffy is still waiting for Gage to come out. Suddenly she hears him scream. Gage: OH, MY GOD! She wastes no time running into the locker room. Cut to the locker room. One of the monsters stands before Gage. It roars as he screams. Gage: Help me! Help me! Ah! Help me! Buffy comes rushing in and pushes the terrified Gage away from the monster. The creature roars, and Buffy confronts it with a look of disgust, but it just stands there and doesn't move to attack her. Behind her Gage has collapsed to the floor and continues to scream, not in fear anymore but instead in agony, and writhes on the floor in pain. Buffy looks back at Gage, concerned. Buffy: Gage? He reaches out to her for help, but can't get up and continues to convulse. Buffy takes a step closer, but then stops and stares at him in shock. He has managed to get to his knees and pulls open his shirt. Then he grabs at his chest and begins to tear open his skin. Beneath is the chest of another monster. Gage holds up his hand and watches as the skin tears along the back and a green, clawed hand emerges. Buffy takes a quick look behind her at the other monster, but it's not advancing, so she turns back to Gage and continues to watch, dumbfounded. The monster that was Gage now stands up, and what's left of Gage's clothes and skin fall away from him. Buffy stares up at it in horror and starts to back off. It roars, advances on her and takes a swipe at her with its sharp claws. The first monster advances on her from behind now, and she finds herself trapped between them. [SCENE_BREAK] ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The boys' locker room. Buffy is trapped between the two sea creatures. She does a roundhouse kick to the one behind her and uses her angular momentum to follow up with a high kick to the other one, knocking it to the floor. She grabs a trashcan and throws it at the first one, but it just deflects the can. Buffy grabs a mop leaning against the wall and thrusts it at the second monster as it gets up, spins around with it to hit the first one in the face, knocking it down, and then jabs the other one again in the side. It is momentarily stunned, and Buffy follows up with another swing of the mop to its back and a kick to its chest, making it fall to the floor. The first creature is back up, grabs Buffy from behind, turns her around and sinks its sharp teeth deeply into her arm. She screams out in pain. The monster shoves her away into a bank of lockers, and she falls to the floor. Coach Marin suddenly appears and quickly helps her to her feet. The two monsters give up the fight and launch themselves across the floor and slide one after the other into the still-open grate. Cut to the school nurse's office. She finishes bandaging Buffy's arm. Giles and the coach are standing behind her by the window. Nurse Greenleigh: I don't think that this is going to need stitches, but you might wanna have your family physician take a look at it. (walks off) Giles: (approaches Buffy) How are you? Buffy: I'm definitely feeling the burn. Giles: (to Coach Marin) Well, the, uh, good news is that it would appear that none of your team actually died. Buffy: But the bad news is... they're monsters. Coach Marin: How could this happen? Giles: Are you saying you don't know? Coach Marin: Well, you work so hard, you start to win suddenly. You think it's just you. You're inspiring the boys to greatness. But in the back of your mind, you start to wonder. Giles: You never asked any of the boys if they were taking anything? Coach Marin: Maybe I was afraid to. Buffy and Giles exchange a look. Cut to Willow's classroom. She, Buffy and Xander are at the computer surfing through the school medical files. Buffy: There. Willow: Dodd McAlvy: torn tendon. Gage Petronzi: fractured wrist, depression, headaches. Buffy: It's all there in the school medical records. Willow: All symptomatic of steroid abuse. Xander: But is steroid abuse usually linked with, 'hey, I'm a fish'? Willow: There must be something else in the mix. But the point is, these boys were obviously drugged. Buffy: And Nurse Greenleigh treated every one of them. She must have known. Willow: If steroids are that dangerous, why would they do that to themselves? Buffy: They needed to win. And winning equals trophies, which equals prestige for the school. You see how they're treated. It's been like that forever. Xander: Sure. The discus throwers got the best seats at all the crucifixions. Buffy: Meanwhile, I'm breaking my nails every day battling the forces of evil, and my French teacher can't even remember my name. Xander: So what's the drill? Get Nurse Greenleigh? Willow: (stands up) (sternly) Let's throw the book at her! Buffy: She probably went home for the day. I think it can wait. Xander, why don't you see if you can find out what these boys are taking, or at least how they're taking it? Powders, pills, syringe? Xander: I'm Lookin'-Around Guy. Willow: What about you? Buffy: Giles loaded up the tranquilizer gun. We're going fishing. Cut to the sewers. It's dark and very wet. Buffy comes around a corner with a flashlight, scanning as she goes. Behind her Giles follows with his dart gun held ready. They hear a noise ahead of them, and Giles raises the gun to take aim. Buffy shines the flashlight, and they see it was only a rat. She puts her hand on his arm to stop him, and he lowers the rifle. They continue on and come to an intersection in the tunnels. Buffy shines her light down one of them, and gestures to Giles that they should go that way. She takes another quick look in the other directions and begins down the adjacent tunnel. Giles looks around again also, and then follows Buffy. They both walk down past the camera, then it focuses on the tunnel opposite the direction they came, and one of the creatures pokes its head around the corner to watch them as they go around a corner further down the tunnel. Cut to the boys' steam room. The entire swim team is relaxing in the fog. Xander: I feel good! Lovin' the swimmin'. Had some carrot juice this morning... A little wheat germ mixed in with it. Woke me right up. Nothin' like it, huh? Breakfast of state champions. You betcha. Okay. So... when do we get our next dose? Sean: What do you mean? Xander: Who's carrying? I need a little something to improve my performance. Give me an edge. Rrr! (chuckles) Sean just looks away. Xander: The steroids. Where are they? Sean: (chuckles) You're soakin' in it, bud. Xander: Huh? Sean: (inhales deeply and exhales) Aromatherapy. It's in the steam. Xander gives him a stunned look. Cut to the pool. The nurse follows the coach at a brisk pace. Nurse Greenleigh: This has got* to stop, Carl. Those poor children. Coach Marin: What, are you a quitter? We got no room for quitters on this team. Nurse Greenleigh: Do you even understand what's happening? Listen to yourself. Coach Marin: I'm very close to perfecting this. We just need to adjust the mix. They head down some stairs to the pool equipment room below. Nurse Greenleigh: Carl. You can't be thinking of continuing to expose these boys. Coach Marin: They're gonna be the best. I don't accept anything less. Nurse Greenleigh: They're gonna be monsters. Carl, please. Don't make it any worse. You've already lost three. The coach stops and looks at the nurse. Coach Marin: Lost? Why, they're not lost. He grabs her by the arms, pulls her around and shoves her down into a hole to a pool of water in the sewers below. She screams as she falls. The water is not deep, and she quickly gets to her feet, wipes the water from her eyes and looks up at him through the hole. Nurse Greenleigh: Carl! What are you doing?! Coach Marin: I'm just lookin' after my boys. They may be out of the game right now, but they're still a team. And a team's gotta eat. He lifts the grating back into place. Nurse Greenleigh: Carl! Coach Marin: You quitter. He stands there to watch. Nurse Greenleigh looks around and begins to panic. Suddenly she screams and gets pulled under the water. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Xander paces. Giles gets up from cleaning his glasses and heads for the table, where Willow and Buffy are sitting. Cordelia is on the stairs to the mezzanine level behind the table. Giles: They're absorbing the steroid mixture through the steam. Xander: (follows him) Not they. We. Me! We have to find an antidote, don't you think? The clock is ticking, people! Buffy: I wouldn't break out the tartar sauce just yet. I mean, it's not like you were exposed more than once. (gets a worried look from Xander) Twice? Xander: Three times a Fish Guy. (crosses his arms) Buffy and Willow: Oh... Cordelia: Whoa. Xander: What am I gonna do? Cordelia: You, you, you. What about me? It's one thing to be dating the lame unpopular guy, but it's another to be dating the creature from the Blue Lagoon. Xander: (paces over to her) Black Lagoon. The creature from the Blue Lagoon was Brooke Shields. And thank you so much for your support! (sits by her) Buffy: (quietly to Giles and Willow) I think we'd better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut. Giles: Yes. Yes, good. Uh, we also need to know exactly what's in this, this steroid gas so that the hospital's toxicology lab can develop an antidote. Willow: (stands up) Well, I'll talk to Nurse Greenleigh. Buffy: You're really getting into this interrogation thing. Willow: The trick is not to leave any marks. (leaves) Buffy: (gets up) On that note, I think I'm gonna go have a little talk with our coach. Somehow, I doubt all he's been giving these boys is inspiration. (leaves) Cut to the pool equipment room. The coach leads Buffy to the same hole through which he shoved Nurse Greenleigh. Coach Marin: You got some imagination, missy. Buffy: Oh, well right now, I'm imagining you in jail. You're wearing a big, orange suit, and, oh, look, the guards are beating you up. Coach Marin: You don't have any proof. Buffy: (stops following) (sternly) Tell me what's in the steam. Coach Marin: (faces her) After the fall of the Soviet Union, documents came into light detailing experiments with fish DNA on their Olympic swimmers. Tarpon... mako, shark... But they couldn't crack it. Buffy: And you did... sort of. Why? Coach Marin: What kind of question is that? For the win! To make my team the best they could be! Do you understand we have a shot at the state championship? Buffy: Do you understand that I don't care? It's over. There's not gonna be any swim team. Coach Marin: Boy, when they were handin' out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you? Buffy: No. I was in the line for shred of sanity. The coach reaches into the desk behind him and pulls out a Beretta 9mm semi-automatic pistol. He pulls back the hammer and points the gun at Buffy. Buffy: Which you obviously skipped. Coach Marin: Get in the hole! (indicates with the gun) Buffy looks down at the hole and back up at the coach. Coach Marin: In! Now! She sits down on the edge with her legs dangling in and looks up at him. Buffy: This isn't over. Coach Marin: In! She gives him one last look and drops herself into the water below. It's about a fifteen-foot drop, so she submerges completely and comes back up soaked through and wiping the water from her eyes. She looks up at the coach leaning over the hole. Coach Marin: You think I don't care about my boys. But I do. They count on me. Buffy understands now, and looks around for the monsters. When she turns back around she screams at the sight of what's left of Nurse Greenleigh's body as it floats by. She looks back up at the coach. Buffy: So, what, you're just gonna feed me to 'em? Coach Marin: Oh, they've already had their dinner. But boys have other needs. Cut to the pool. Xander and Cordelia come walking in looking for other members of the swim team. Xander is rubbing his neck, expecting to find gills growing there. Cordelia: No one. Willow and Giles must've rounded up the rest of the swim team. Xander: Does my neck look scaly to you? Cordelia: Well, of course it looks scaly, the way you've been rubbing it dry like an idiot. Xander: I need to look in a mirror. Wait here. But feel free to come in if you hear me scream. He runs off into the locker room. Cordelia keeps walking around the pool. She hears a door close and glances behind her, but sees no one. She continues along the side of the pool. She hears a door open, and assumes it's Xander. Cordelia: Any gills yet? Behind her a creature comes in and jumps into the pool. She looks into the pool, but at first can't make out the monster because of the splash on the surface. Cordelia: Xander, what are you doing? (giggles) Xander? The creature swims beyond the splash, and Cordelia can see it clearly now. Cordelia: Oh, my God! Xander! She walks along the edge of the pool, following the monster as it swims under water. Cordelia: (very upset) It's me, Cordelia? I know you can't answer me, but... God, this is all my fault. You joined the swim team to impress me. You were so courageous. And you looked really hot in those Speedo's. (chuckles) And I want you to know that I still care about you, no matter what you look like. And... and we can still date. Or, or not. I mean... I understand if you wanna see other fish. (crouches by the edge) I'll do everything I can to make your quality of life better. Whether that means little bath toys or whatever. Xander walks up behind her. Xander: Uh, Cordy? Cordelia spins around quickly, startled, and draws a frightened breath. Xander: (points into the pool) That's not me. They both look at the creature. It suddenly makes a lunge for them from the water, and Cordelia screams. Xander pulls her up and away, and they run from the pool area. Cordelia: Oh, my God! Cut to the library. Giles leads the other swim team members into the cage. Giles: I-in you go. They are all a bit confused, but obey none the less. Giles: Stay calm, chaps. (closed the door) Either we'll find an effective antidote, or, or, uh... S-stay calm. (goes to Willow) Willow: Everyone's accounted for except Sean. Xander and Cordelia come into the library. Cordelia: I think we can safely say we've found Sean. He was in the pool skinless-dipping. Xander: Where's Buffy? Willow: She hasn't come back yet. Cut to the sewers. The camera pans around the pool of water. One of the monsters pokes its head out of the water behind a pillar and observes Buffy. The camera continues until it stops on her. Buffy: Great. This is just what my reputation needs: that I did it with the entire swim team. Another one of the creatures pokes its head up to look at Buffy. She makes a tentative jump to see about getting out of there. She hears them growl, and looks around. The one by the pillar submerges again and begins to swim. Buffy looks into the water to try to see where they are. Cut underwater. One of them swims right past her legs. She sees its head emerge further away from her, and draws a frightened breath. Cut to the pool equipment room. Xander walks in and spots the coach leaning over the hole and gloating. Xander: What's up, coach? Coach Marin: (looks back, startled) Oh! Harris. Uh... (stands up) how you feelin'? Xander: Little dry. Nothing a lemon butter sauce won't cure. They both chuckle nervously. Xander: Where's Buffy? The coach's eyes focus on his gun laying on a barrel just behind Xander. Cut to below. Buffy keeps looking for the sea monsters. One suddenly rises up behind her and lunges at her. She quickly grabs it and throws it aside. Another one comes for her, and she deflects it into the wall, but loses her balance and falls underwater. One grabs her leg, and she kicks out. She grabs it and throws it off of her. Standing again, she grabs another one's arm as it attacks her and flips it over into the wall. Cut above. Coach Marin makes a grab for his gun, but Xander grabs his arm, pounds it into the barrel and makes him drop it. He elbows the coach in the face, who falls over unconscious. Cut below. Buffy knocks and flips the monsters away as they each come for her in turn. Soon they've had enough, and the three of them surround her and slowly close in. Cut above. Xander steps over to the hole and looks down. When he sees what's going on below he quickly lies down and reaches into the hole with his arm. Xander: Buffy, hurry! Your hand! Buffy looks up and sees him there. She takes a breath, crouches down into the water and leaps up the ten feet to grab Xander's hand. Xander: Hold on! He starts to pull for all he's worth. Below the creatures paw at Buffy's legs, trying to pull her back down. Two of them grab hold, and she kicks and flails to shake them off. The monsters can't keep hold of her, and fall into the water. Buffy: Pull! Xander: Hold on! He pulls again, but he's not as strong as he thinks and it goes slowly. One of the monsters leaps up and grabs Buffy's leg again. She kicks it with her free leg and it goes tumbling down. Xander pulls again as Buffy raises her legs up out of the creature's reach. Slowly she emerges from the hole and climbs onto the floor, coughing and panting. Buffy: Thanks. Xander: Just doin' my part for our team. Behind him the coach has regained consciousness, and hits Xander across the back with a large pipe wrench. Buffy: Oh! He starts to take a swing at Buffy with it, too, but she ducks away and trips him with her leg. He falls and screams as he rolls into the hole. Buffy reacts fast and grabs his ankle. Coach Marin: Don't let go! Don't let go of me! Hold me! Buffy can't maintain her grip, and he falls into the water below. The coach stands up in the water, shaking it out of his face and coughing. Buffy: (reaches down) Grab my hand! He's too busy being worried about his sea monsters surrounding him to listen to what Buffy is saying. Coach Marin: Boys! Boys, uh, now, now, boys! No! I... They attack him. Coach Marin: No, boys! He screams and struggles as they pull him under. Buffy pulls her arm back up. Buffy: Those boys really love their coach. Cut to the school lounge. Willow and Buffy are sitting on one of the couches opposite Xander and Cordelia on the other. Xander: Let's see. I gotta take a make-up chem test at three. And then I'm meetin' some of the guys for plasma transfusions at five. It's turned into quite the busy afternoon. Buffy: The fun never stops with you, does it? Willow: Giles seems pretty confident that the treatments are gonna work. Xander: Well, turning into a creepy-crawly wasn't on my top ten list of things to do before I turn twenty. Cordelia: (to Xander) I want you to know that you've really proven yourself to me. And you don't have to join the new team next year if you don't want. I'd be just as happy if you played football. (smiles) Buffy and Willow exchange an amused look. Giles comes up the steps to them. Giles: The... people from animal control have just left. Our creatures have apparently made a, a dash for it. Um... so to speak. Willow: Does that mean we're gonna have to hunt them again? Buffy: No, I don't think so. I don't think we'll be seeing them anymore. Giles: Where do you think they'll go? Buffy: Home. Cut to the beach. The camera pans over the waves rolling in. The three monsters are in the surf and begin to swim out to sea.	Plan: A: several members; Q: How many members of the Sunnydale High swim team are mysteriously skinned alive? A: the remaining members; Q: Who do Buffy and the gang take it upon themselves to protect? A: Xander; Q: Who reveals a side of himself rarely seen? Summary: When several members of the Sunnydale High swim team are mysteriously skinned alive, Buffy and the gang take it upon themselves to protect the remaining members, which results in Xander revealing a side of himself rarely seen.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars... Veronica runs towards the site where the bus drove off the cliff in 201 Normal Is the Watchword. GIA: It just went straight off the cliff. They're all dead. Duncan holds Veronica as she looks down at the wreckage. Cut to Java the Hut, behind the counter in 202 Driver Ed. DUNCAN: This isn't your fault. VERONICA: If it wasn't for me, Meg would have been in the limo. She wouldn't need a machine to breathe. Cut to the lunch area at Neptune High, as Jackie approaches Wallace and Veronica, from 203 Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang. WALLACE: You met Jackie, right? VERONICA: I didn't realize you were lunch buddies. WALLACE: I like her, okay? Cut to Java the Hut, as Veronica sees to Jackie and her "friend." JACKIE: Hey Veronica. VERONICA: Hey Jackie and Random Dude. JACKIE: This is Veronica, the girl I was a total bi-atch to. Cut to Lamb examining Curly Moran's body at the beach in 202 Driver Ed. LAMB: Hey, check this out. "This" is Curly's hand on which is written "Veronica Mars." Cut to the Sheriff's Department where Veronica is being questioned in 203 Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang. LAMB: Mr David "Curly" Moran, never seen him before? VERONICA VOICEOVER: I have seen this man before. Flashback to the makeshift memorial for the victims of the crash at the site. MORAN: Thanks. Return to the interrogation room as Veronica looks at the picture of her name on Curly's hand. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Why would this man have my name magic markered across his hand? Cut to Symbolic Motor Car Company, as Veronica looks at the picture of Curly and Aaron Echolls. VERONICA VOICEOVER: What was it Aaron wrote to Curly on that picture? All these years... Cut to the poster of "The Long Haul," hanging on the wall at Logan's house. VERONICA VOICEOVER:...still on "The Long Haul." Featuring a stunt performed by David "Curly" Moran. Cut to the Presidential Suite at the Neptune Grand. VERONICA: The bus crash, it was meant for me. Cut to Chicago, as the lift doors close on Alicia and Keith at the Rossmore Hotel, cutting them off from the man chasing them. CARL: Hey, Cher! KEITH: You know that guy? ALICIA: No. End previously. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS (MI) - DAY. The office is littered with posters, including one that says "Vote Keith Mars - Balboa County Sheriff," and stickers for Keith's campaign. On some of the posters, a "logo" is present, three seven-point stars with the middle one filled in. Veronica is at her desk, on the telephone. VERONICA: Hi, can you tell me if Meg Manning has been moved from the intensive care unit? An-and what are the visiting hours? Veronica makes a note. VERONICA: Thank you. As she puts the phone down, a woman marches in, all of a-flutter. VERONICA: Can I help you? JULIE: I need to hire a detective. VERONICA: Right place, wrong day. Ah, we're not usually open on Sundays. JULIE: This is kind of an emergency. I need to investigate my boyfriend...or, I guess my potential fiancé now that I found an engagement ring in his gym bag. VERONICA: You found it in his-- JULIE: I need some serious, serious answers. VERONICA: I can take down your information and make sure Mr Mars gets it first thing. The woman takes a seat opposite Veronica. JULIE: His name is Collin Nevin. Veronica writes down the name. VERONICA: Okey-dokey. Start with the basics. Our standard package, your garden variety background check, criminal record, aliases. JULIE: I need way more than that. VERONICA: Well, there's our premium package. Mr Mars'll get to know a few friends, chat up an ex or two. JULIE: Which is exactly what I'm afraid Collin's doing. Look, Collin lives off a trust fund. He has a lot of free time. I'd like to know how he spends it. VERONICA: Well, there is our silver package. JULIE: What's the silver package? VERONICA: Premium package plus surveillance, phone records, email monitoring. It's basically an all-access pass to what he's doing when you're not looking. JULIE: I'll take it. Her cell beeps. JULIE: Oh...it's him. He thinks I'm at yoga. She hands Veronica a card. VERONICA: Great. Ah, well, Mr Mars will review your case, Miss Bloch, and he'll be in touch tomorrow. Julie Bloch heads for the door just as Keith enters. VERONICA: Ah, man of the hour. Keith Mars, Julie Bloch. Julie shakes his hand. JULIE: Looking forward to working with you, Mr Mars. She exits, leaving Keith a little bemused. KEITH: Huh! Nice. He closes the door behind him. KEITH: Jumpy fiancée? VERONICA: [enthusiastic] Jumpy potential fiancée...with cash to burn. She practically handed me a blank check. KEITH: You're supposed to be here organizing the office, not soliciting clients. Maybe you haven't noticed, I'm running for sheriff? I can't even get to the cases I already have. VERONICA: Well maybe I could help. Just with the little stuff, nothing that requires body armor. KEITH: Veronica, you don't work here; you work at Java the Hut. VERONICA: Yeah, that tip money's gonna pay for Stanford. KEITH: No, but the Kane Scholarship will, so use your nights to study. Now please, call Miss Jumpy and tell her I can't take this case. Veronica slaps down her pen, sighs loudly and picks up the phone. Keith watches her for a second, then heads for the kitchenette, looking back to make sure she is doing it. VERONICA: Julie, hi. It's Veronica from Mars Investigations. I'm really sorry, but Mr Mars is unable to take on any new cases at this time. Recommendation? Ah, Nick Harris Detectives is always good. Keith nods his approval in the kitchenette as he pours himself a coffee. VERONICA: If you're looking locally, Vinnie Vanlowe is a respected detective. Keith puts the pot down hard and looks back at his daughter in disbelief. The camera pulls closer to the phone in Veronica's hand, close enough to hear the dialing tone. VERONICA: I'm really sorry about this Julie. Uh, I hope it all works out. We wish you the best. Veronica puts the phone back on the receiver. She casts a glance at her father and, once his back is turned, rips the sheet of paper on which she wrote Julie's information from the pad, folds it and puts it, with Julie's card, into her back pocket. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The only way I'd ever make two grand in a week working at the Hut is if they installed a pole. Dad might be too busy for Miss Brightside but I think I can pencil in some time to make a couple quick G's. INT - JAVA THE HUT - DAY. At two of the small sofas, Veronica, not in uniform, sits with Julie, coffees on the table between them. VERONICA: Mr Mars thought that due to the nature of your case, it might be beneficial for you to have a detective of the female persuasion. JULIE: Aren't you awfully young to be doing this? VERONICA: It's amazing, I never get tired of that question. Julie, why do you suspect that Collin is up to something? Veronica gets out another pad, ready to take notes. JULIE: My family is wealthy, like, very. I tend to fall for guys who nail the girl who's teaching my spin class while letting me pay his rent. Money isn't supposed to matter, so I'm letting Collin think I'm regular old middle class. VERONICA: I see. Well, is there something that's prompting your concern right now? JULIE: Phone calls...at late hours. Lame excuses for getting out of the house. Lately, it's tennis. There is a framed photo of a woman on his bar. VERONICA: Okay. Ahh, got it. I'm on it. JULIE: Thanks. INT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - DAY. Alicia carries a glass to the kitchen from the dining area, where Darrell lingers in the background. ALICIA: Wallace. Wallace is in the kitchen, at the sink. The refrigerator door is covered in Fennel family pictures. Do you have a shift at Sac-N-Pac tonight? Wallace grabs his keys and makes his way back into the dining area and the front door. WALLACE: No. [boasting] Hottest girl in school asked me for some help with the Trig. I'm gonna give her a hand. Alicia follows him. ALICIA: You need help with Trig. WALLACE: In fact, I might give her both hands. Darrell picks up his backpack and looks up at his brother. DARRELL: Are you hitting that? Wallace laughs, as does Alicia, despite herself. ALICIA: Darrell! EXT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - DAY. In the driveway, Wallace gets into his car and drives off as Alicia and Darrell come out of the house. Alicia waves at him but falters when she sees the man from Chicago drive slowly past in the opposite direction, in a white SUV. They stare at each other but he does not stop or slow, disappearing around a corner. Opening credits. EXT - RUNNING TRACK - DAY. Various people are using the track. A camera focuses on one man in particular, running in sunglasses. The camera whirs as many shots are taken. Veronica is in the stands, taking the pictures. Her cell rings. She checks the number before answering. The camera switches between the two of them, with Julie coming down the stairs at her home. VERONICA: Hi, Julie. JULIE: Find out anything? VERONICA: Yep, you can rest easy. He's on his eighth lap and I'm on my way to Starbuck's, 'cause I gotta say...spying on Collin? A little boring. JULIE: I looked up his caller ID history. He's had twenty calls in the past six days from the same number. Don't you think that's odd? VERONICA: It's worth looking into. What's the number? I'll-- JULIE: I already sent it to you. Don't forget, tomorrow he has tennis. INT - MI - DAY. Keith is in his office. ALICIA: [offscreen] Knock knock. Keith looks up and footsteps sound in the outer office. Hips appear at his door, swaying, and a hand holds a paper bag. KEITH: Tell me that's a ham and cheese sandwich. Keith rises as Alicia walks into the office. They meet partway. Keith grabs the bag. ALICIA: And I almost went for the chicken salad. KEITH: Ohh, you just fulfilled one of the top ten male fantasies. Oh, yeah, a guy dreams his whole life of a beautiful woman bringing him a sandwich. Keith gives her a long, thorough kiss. She strokes his cheek as they part. Keith stuffs the sandwich in his mouth. ALICIA: Do you have a spare gun that I could borrow? Keith freezes, sandwich still in his mouth. He pulls it out and puts it back in the bag. KEITH: That depends. Who do you intend to shoot? ALICIA: The guy who called out to me in the club in Chicago. "Cher"? He was my old boyfriend and Cher was his nickname for me. KEITH: When we were in Chicago, I asked you-- ALICIA: I know. He caught me completely off-guard. We dated almost twenty years ago before I was married. And I was young, and naive...and he was crazy. KEITH: So where does the gun part come in? ALICIA: He drove by my house yesterday morning. He's tracked me down. KEITH: There's no way I'm letting you take a gun you don't know how to handle to a house with a seven year old. So, I'll give you something a little safer to curl up with at night. ALICIA: What? Keith gives her a goofy grin. ALICIA: You? He maintains his funny face. She laughs. ALICIA: What do we tell the kids? Keith waves his hand in a chop near his throat. KEITH: [whispers] Nothing. He smiles. INT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - DAY. Alicia, a little frazzled, slips a pancake from one pan into another which holds its own pancake. She takes the pan with the pancakes to the dining area where Wallace and Darrell are sitting with plates full of scrambled egg and bacon, and glasses of orange juice. ALICIA: I think I cooked these too fast. I got a late start this morning. Alicia adds the pancakes to their plates. WALLACE: Mom, you okay? ALICIA: Uh-huh. WALLACE: Why don't you just sit down and eat? There's a knock on the French doors. It's Keith with a large paper bag. ALICIA: Ahh, nice surprise. Alicia lets him in. KEITH: Good morning. ALICIA: Hi. KEITH: I was out early doing some surveillance...thought I'd stop by, say hi... He puts the bag down on the table. ...and send the Fennel men to school with a belly-full of sugar. Wallace digs straight in. WALLACE: [with mouth full]Keith Mars for Sheriff. Keith chuckles. INT - NEPTUNE HIGH SCHOOL (NHS), HALLWAY - DAY. Veronica heads for her locker. Wallace is already at his, sorting through his books. VERONICA: My dad spend the night at your place? WALLACE: Yep. VERONICA: He do the AM-donut-fake-out run? Wallace pulls the bag of donuts from his locker. WALLACE: Want one? Veronica's head does a little shake. Unseen by either, Jackie arrives and slaps Wallace on the bum. Wallace twists around, grinning as Jackie laughs. JACKIE: [shouts] Get back, ladies, he's mine! Veronica is disapproving. You really are a basketball star, aren't you, I mean I'm not just smacking the ass of some Dungeons and Dragons geek, right? VERONICA: Oh, he's a star. Just ask him. WALLACE: [to Jackie] Come on. Let's go. Wallace and Jackie walk down the hall together. Jackie puts her arm around his shoulder, stroking his hair. Wallace's arm is around her waist. Veronica, sour-faced, slams her locker shut and watches them go. EXT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - DAY. The man from Chicago creeps up to the window, peering into the house. He tries the window. The whir of a camera is heard. Keith is tucked behind a corner of the house, taking photographs. KEITH: Smile. The man stops trying the windows and turns to face him. KEITH: Oh, yeah, work it, work it. Work it. CARL: You're gonna be pulling that camera out-- He stares to walk towards Keith who pulls back his jacket to show his gun. KEITH: Ah-ah... The man sees the gun and stops. KEITH: ...light's much better where you're standing. The man smiles. CARL: Keith Mars, former sheriff, private detective, author. KEITH: Wow. Carl Morgan, three years Lompoc, assault and battery, cocaine possession, intent to sell. We should really give our publicists pats on the back. CARL: I expected you to become a problem at some point. KEITH: There's a flight to Chicago leaving San Diego at 4:45, you need to be on it. The next time I shoot you, it won't be digitally...unless I hit you in the finger and then we'll have a big laugh about it. Morgan laughs. CARL: Your old lady took something of mine. I'm not leaving 'til I get it back. He winks, then turns and walks away. KEITH: She's not my old lady. She's my special lady friend. Morgan doesn't stop. EXT - NEPTUNE HOSPITAL - DAY. A car pulls up outside the entrance. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Hospitals wig me out, but... EXT - NEPTUNE HOSPITAL - DAY. Veronica walks up one of the corridors, checking numbers as she goes. She is carrying a bunch of flowers. VERONICA VOICEOVER: ...I've put this off for too long. It's time I see Meg. She stops, having found the right door. She hasn't seen Duncan behind her, sitting on one of the chairs. DUNCAN: Veronica? Veronica whips around. VERONICA: [surprised] Duncan? I...didn't know you were... Duncan stands. VERONICA: How's Meg? Before he can answer, the door behind Veronica opens. A middle-aged couple exits the room. MR MANNING: [to Duncan, angry] You again. Why do you come here every day? How many times do I have to tell you? Veronica looks quizzically at Duncan. MR MANNING: We never want to see you again. Now stay away from our daughter. The woman shakes her head. MRS MANNING: [to Veronica, tearfully] And you, I mean, how can you come here? Don't you know that you presence is upsetting to us? From behind them, Lizzie Manning exits the room, holding the hand of a little girl. Lizzie is very different to the girl last seen in 108 Like a Virgin. Gone is the bleach-blonde hair, the make-up and the provocative clothes. Her mousy blonde hair is pushed back by an Alice band, her face is clean and she is in a school uniform. The little girl has either been crying very hard or she has two black eyes. She cowers behind Lizzie's skirt. DUNCAN: We care about Meg. LIZZIE: Mom, he-- MR MANNING: Quiet! If you really cared about Meg, she wouldn't have been on that bus. INTERCOM: Dr Godot, Nurses Station Three. Dr Godot, Nurses Station Three. Duncan has no answer and walks away. Veronica sets the bunch of flowers down on the chair on which Duncan was sitting and follows him. Mrs Manning drops her head and Mr Manning puts his arm around her as Veronica and Duncan walk away, down the corridor. VERONICA: You didn't tell me about-- DUNCAN: What, that Meg was important to me? INTERCOM: Dr Roberts, Floor Stat, Dr Roberts, Floor Stat. VERONICA: About her parents. Duncan pauses as Veronica walks on in front of him. He regrets snapping at her. He hurries to catch up. DUNCAN: Look, wanna go eat or something? VERONICA: Can't. Work. Gotta go watch a tennis match. Veronica hurries out, leaving Duncan standing. EXT - NEPTUNE STREET - DAY. Collin, in silver Jaguar, pulls into a driveway of a house. Veronica pulls up in the street just beyond. She photographs him approaching the front door. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Well this isn't a tennis court. What are you up to, Collin? He knocks on the door of the house, which bears the number 8520. A woman answers and greets him with a hug. Veronica takes more pictures. Collin and the woman disappear into the house. VERONICA VOICEOVER: No good, it appears. What is it with men? Never where you expect them to be. Veronica transfers the pictures from her camera to her laptop. Underneath the TZAR FX window, which is downloading the latest pictures, are a couple more windows, including an email she's already prepared, addressed to Julie Bloch, entitled "Collin: Sit down before reading." In it she says, "Attached are the photos of Collin I took today, so sorry." The latest pictures appear, numbered 24 to 36. Veronica picks up her phone and dials. JULIE: [offscreen] Hello? VERONICA: Julie? It's Veronica. Another window has appeared underneath the email, setting out Veronica's menu: Network - Perseus - MINIBITES - Desktop - veronicamars - Applications - Documents - Movies - Music - Pictures. On the right, on the desktop, she has: MINIBITES - Cases - Collin Nevin - Newspapers - Photographs - School Work. VERONICA: Can you check your email? I'm sending you some photos right now. She adds the pictures to the email. VERONICA: And do you know anyone who lives at 8520 Primrose Lane? JULIE: [offscreen] No, why? VERONICA: I'm afraid I've got some bad news and some more bad news. First, Collin's not playing tennis and second, that number that showed up twenty times on his caller ID? JULIE: [offscreen] Yeah? VERONICA: That number belongs to whoever lives here on Primrose Lane. It's where he goes instead of tennis. Did you...get the photo yet? Do you recognize the woman? JULIE: [offscreen] No, oh no. VERONICA: Julie. JULIE: [offscreen] No, no, no. VERONICA: Sh, Ju-- JULIE: [offscreen] No. VERONICA: Julie! Listen to me. Do not panic. Okay? I'll call you as soon as I know anything. Okay? JULIE: [offscreen] Okay. VERONICA: All right, bye. Music: Jealously by the Stereophonics. LYRICS: Jealousy my devil Jealousy my hell Jealousy insomnia Jealousy sleep well Veronica creeps through the bushes of the house next door, settling at a low wall close to the target house, camera in hand. VERONICA VOICEOVER: All right, Collin, just give me what I came for. You and your hot little number, deep in the throes of... Through the camera lens, she spies through the window and sees the woman carrying a tray to a table. Collin is sitting at the table, reading aloud from a book. Standing over him is a rabbi. RABBI and COLLIN: [Hebrew] VERONICA VOICEOVER: ...a Hebrew lesson? Before Veronica has a chance to process this, she hears a car race up to the house. VERONICA: Rut-roh. It's Julie in a silver BMW Z4. Her hair is in curlers and she has bleach paste on her eyebrows and upper lip. She screeches to a halt and starts to march up to the house. VERONICA: Julie, no! Veronica leaves the camera on the low wall, and races towards Julie, who is oblivious. Veronica takes a flying leap and tackles Julie to the ground. JULIE: Oh! Oh! Julie, the wind knocked out of her, lies flat on her back under Veronica who is straddling her to hold her down. VERONICA: Julie, stand down. He's not cheating on you. He's with a rabbi. JULIE: A rabbi? He's not Jewish. I'm Jewish. Veronica pauses for a moment, encouraging her to think. VERONICA: Are you there yet? Julie finally gets it, and let's her head drop back to the ground. Veronica sits up and sighs. End music: Jealousy by the Stereophonics. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. It's 2:25 in the morning. Veronica is lying in bed, awake. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Every day. That's what Meg's dad said. What's Duncan doing at the hospital? Her cell, placed next to her clock, rings. On the shelf above it is a picture of Lilly and on the wall to the left is a "Vote Mars for Sheriff" sticker. Veronica reaches up to the small shelf with the clock to pick up the phone. JULIE: [offscreen] Do you think he still loves her? Still in her thoughts, Veronica answers for her own dilemma. VERONICA: I don't know. She comes to her senses. VERONICA: What? Who is this? Julie is sitting up in bed. The camera switches between the two as they talk. JULIE: It's Julie. The photo of the woman on the bar? She's gotta be an ex. If he's keeping her close, do you think he still loves her? VERONICA VOICEOVER: Whoa. If I'm pondering the same question about my boyfriend, does that make me crazy too? VERONICA: Julie... Veronica sits up and twists to look at the clock. VERONICA: ...it's two twenty-seven in the morning. The silver package has its perks but post midnight girl-talk is not one of them. JULIE: What if I get an upgrade? Wh-what comes after silver? VERONICA: Psycho. JULIE: What? VERONICA: Gold. Julie, it's three thousand dollars. JULIE: What...does it include? VERONICA: Uh, we dig deeper. Three months of internet activity, heavier surveillance. We talk to consultants to set up a temptation scenario, and see if he responds. JULIE: That's perfect. That's exactly what I need. And with the gold package, can you find out who that is in the photo on the bar? VERONICA: We can find out...but...if you want my opinion, I'd say there's a fine line between looking for a problem and creating one. Good night. Veronica puts the phone down and ponders her words. INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Keith knocks casually on the door as he enters Lamb's office. Lamb is at his desk, a poster behind him reading: "Re-elect Sheriff Lamb. Tough on CRIME." Lamb isn't thrilled at the sight of his visitor. LAMB: Who let you into my office? KEITH: That's funny. Lamb smiles tightly at the joke as Keith drops a large photo on his desk. KEITH: I was wondering the same thing. I thought you might want to catch a bad-guy or something. Lamb, sceptical, picks up the picture. It's one Keith took of Morgan. KEITH: That's Carl Morgan, drug dealer, he's currently wanted for questioning in Chicago on an armed robbery. Lamb drops the photo on the desk and looks up at Keith. LAMB: Drug dealer. Keith nods. LAMB: For me. Keith nods more vigorously. LAMB: [snidely] It's not even my birthday. KEITH: He's buddies with a dealer I'm tracking. There's no bounty on him; nothing in it for me. LAMB: Mm, nothing but the joy of giving. KEITH: It's not a present, Sheriff. It's kind of your job...for now anyway. Lamb smiles. KEITH: Hope you're having fun. Keith exits and Lamb picks up the picture and stares at it. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. Veronica stands at her open locker, looking for something in her bag. She reaches into and busies herself in her locker. WEEVIL: Yo, Martha. Weevil has five bikers (a much scarier looking bunch than last year) in tow as he leans against the locker next to hers. WEEVIL: Heard you took a ride downtown behind a one-eighty-seven. So, did you flop for the cops or did the local Wapner hook you up with some ankle bling? Veronica isn't intimidated and slams her locker shut before facing him. VERONICA: You know the deal, cuz. Every time a kitty cries in this town, Onetime tries to put a case on me. She notices his hoop earrings. VERONICA: Speaking of bling, what's up with the hoops? If I rub your head, do I get three wishes? WEEVIL: You rub my head and you might want to make seeing tomorrow your first wish. Veronica's face falls and it is not immediately clear whether she is startled by the aggression in Weevil's response or something else. It's something else... FLASHBACK: INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Lamb holds up the small evidence bag holding the square diamond earring. LAMB: Missing an earring? Lamb throws it down on the table. END FLASHBACK AND RETURN TO NHS, HALLWAY. To Weevil, Veronica has spaced out. WEEVIL: You need to be alone for a second? VERONICA: Where's that disco ball you usually wear? Weevil chuckles and performs for his boys.. WEEVIL: It's probably deep in some chick's shag carpet. They laugh appreciatively. VERONICA: You think? WEEVIL: Yeah. VERONICA: 'Cause I'm guessing more like an evidence bag in the sheriff's office. Weevil takes a breath and turns to his boys, hitting fists with one. WEEVIL: I'll holla atcha, dog The bikers back away to give them privacy. VERONICA: My question, and I'm betting it's the sheriff's, is what was your earring doing at the Road Hog, in the last place Curly Moran was seen alive? WEEVIL: You know, I-I don't even know what earring you're talking about, so-- VERONICA: It's kind of like the one you're wearing in your yearbook photo. Hmm... Veronica starts punching numbers on her cell. VERONICA: ...Sheriff's Department speed dial. If this doesn't get me out of that jaywalking ticket. Hello, Inga. He puts his hand on her arm. WEEVIL: Okay. Veronica smiles and drops the phone from her ear. They start to walk down the hallway, the other bikers watching carefully. WEEVIL: A couple weeks ago, a few days before Curly beached, I got this weird call, some guy saying Curly was behind the bus crash. VERONICA: You don't know who it was? WEEVIL: They just said Curly was hired by the Fitzpatricks to get back as Cervando. VERONICA: As in the Fighting Fitzpatricks? WEEVIL: Uh-huh. VERONICA: I think my dad put, like, five of the Fitzpatricks in Chino. WEEVIL: Look, they're Irish Catholic. For every five you put away, there's ten more at home. Cervando'd been going around bragging about how he hustled Liam Fitzpatrick out of a few grand down at River Styx. VERONICA: That's a lot of info for an anonymous call. What'd you do? WEEVIL: Nothing. VERONICA: I'm sure. They pause. WEEVIL: The Fitzpatricks are meth-head lunatics, but they're not gonna kill a bus full of kids over three grand. Their problem with Cervando would have been solved in an alley with a baseball bat. VERONICA: Gimme your cell. He hands it over. WEEVIL: I called the mystery guy back, already, all it does it ring. On the display of Weevil's phone are two names, Dante and Hector, and two numbers, 555-0153 and 555-0179. She punches 555-0153 into her cell. WEEVIL: Look, should I be expecting a visit from Lamb? If I know I'm being brought in, I'll put on my good underwear, you know? Veronica snaps the phones shut and hands Weevil's back to him. VERONICA: You should really do that anyway. Veronica walks away with Weevil giving her a doleful look. The clock in the hall shows the time as 1:45. INT - COOK RESIDENCE - DAY. Music: Jealous Love by Robert Cray LYRICS: Seem to never, ever show And every time, a pretty girl walk by I catch you watching me, baby Out the corner of your eye. To be so sweet and yet so blind You know you're killing my love, baby With your jealous mind. Jealous love I wanna say it one more time Oh, you oughta trust me sometime. I'm home from work everyday on time. You've got your hand in my pocket For that number you thought you'd find. Jealous love I wanna say it one more time Oh, you oughta trust me baby. Jealous love The curtains are closed as Jackie and Wallace make out. Wallace's cell rings. He breaks off to answer it. Jackie watches him fondly... VERONICA: [offscreen] Hey, buddy, whatcha doing? WALLACE: Veronica, are you in immediate life-threatening danger? ...until she hears who it is at which point her face tightens. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. VERONICA: At this precise moment, no. INT - COOK RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. The scene continues to shift between the two. WALLACE: Then I'm hanging up. VERONICA: [offscreen] Wait, wait, my go-to temptress just canceled on me and I need an AV wizard to be my eyes and ears for a scenario I've got going down at four. As Veronica talks, Jackie pushes Wallace back against the couch and climbs on top of him. She starts nibbling his neck. He laughs. WALLACE: Hey, I'd love to help, but I've got my own scenario going on right here. VERONICA: Wallace, if you're getting all that Jackie-love with two dollars in your pocket, imagine what you'd get with, say, two hundred. Cut to a tiny bit later as Wallace puts on his shoes. Jackie is most put out. JACKIE: You didn't ask, "How high?" WALLACE: What? JACKIE: Didn't Goldilocks say, "Jump"? WALLACE: It is not even like that. JACKIE: What's it like? WALLACE: We're friends, Jackie. If she needs me, I'm gonna come through, just like she would for me. JACKIE: Right. I guess you have different rules here, where I'm from, the girl you make out with is the one you do favors for. I may have to have a chat with Miss Pixie-Stick. WALLACE: I wouldn't do that. She's not somebody you wanna piss off. JACKIE: [seriously] Neither am I. End music: Jealous Love by Robert Cray. EXT - NEPTUNE STREET - DAY. On the oceanfront, Wallace is waiting at the open boot of his car. The LeBaron pulls in behind him. Veronica gets out, dressed to seduce - a tiny tight sweater over a low-cut, clinging t-shirt, a short skirt, fishnets and boots. Her hair is in low bunches. VERONICA: Sorry I'm late... She runs over to him, as fast as her tight skirt will allow. VERONICA: [sorority voice] ...whipped-cream fight at the sorority house. They both giggle. VERONICA: Can you hand me a mike? Veronica holds out her hand as Wallace rummages in the back of the car. WALLACE: You got some place to hide it? Veronica puts the mike down her cleavage. Wallace gets the receiver and puts it in his ear. WALLACE: Do you own those clothes, or did you make a stop at Dirty Coeds-R-Us? VERONICA: Ha ha. WALLACE: And I need to be paid up 'fore tonight. Gotta make a little peace with my woman. VERONICA: Are you sure she's your woman, cause I saw her at Java the Hut the night after our double-date and...some guy was...all over her. WALLACE: Like a couple of weeks ago, when we only had like two dates. So what? VERONICA: So it's...progressed? WALLACE: Yeah, it's progressed. Have you seen her with another guy since? No. See, when you assume, you really just make a ass out of you. Wallace picks out a lug wrench and lays it by the LeBaron's front tire. VERONICA: Just stay as tight as you can. WALLACE: Just go Lolita his ass. Let me do my thing. Veronica gets a tool out of her bag and removes the valve core from the tire to let the air escape. The tire flattens. EXT - COLLIN'S HOUSE - DAY. The doorbell rings. Collin opens to door to Veronica, who is in full bimbo-mode. COLLIN: Can I help you with something? VERONICA: Please, that would be so great. Wait, do you have an accent? COLLIN: Yeah, I'm Scottish. VERONICA: Really. Like from Scotland? That's so awesome. Foreign men are so much sexier than regular men. She very obviously checks out his body. He's a little uncomfortable and raises his eyebrows. VERONICA: Oh...sorry. I hope I'm not bothering you, it's just, I got a flat and...my cell phone's dead and I can't find my triple-A card. Do you think you could give me a hand? EXT - NEPTUNE STREET - DAY. At Veronica's car, Collin tries to loosen the nuts. VERONICA: I tried real hard; I just couldn't get the nuts off. I think they're just...too tight. She crouches down next to him and picks up the lug wrench. VERONICA: But, I did just put lotion all over my hands so they're kind of slippery. She lets it drop between her fingers. COLLIN: You do know you've got to jack the car up first, right? VERONICA: Oh yeah, do you have a jack? Wallace is across the street, behind another parked car, videoing proceedings. Collin and Veronica stand and Veronica wipes her forehead, leaving a dirty mark. COLLIN: Oh you ah, you've got a... Collin pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and hands it to her. VERONICA: Oh, how cute are you? Veronica uses the wing mirror to wipe the mark away, making sure to bend down in such a way as to show off her ass. Wallace smiles as he gets a good shot of Collin checking out her ass. Veronica finishes and hands Collin back his handkerchief. COLLIN: No, keep it. Listen, ah, we could be out here all day with me doing this so, why don't I go in and call you a tow truck or something. VERONICA: Do you have a computer in there? Because I kind of need more than a tow-truck right now. I go to UCSD and I have this mid-term that if I don't turn in in about ten minutes... COLLIN: All right. Come on. Wallace continues to film as they go towards the house. He can hear Veronica through his earpiece. VERONICA: [through earpiece] Okay, come on, the accent? Wallace watches them disappear into the house. The reception on the mike falters and Wallace's face takes on a look of consternation. INT - COLLIN'S HOUSE - CONTINUING. Collin and Veronica mount steps up to the main living area. VERONICA: Are you like the catch of the year or what? COLLIN: Hardly. There's art on the walls, wood flooring and ocean views. A clock on the wall shows it's 4:10. VERONICA: Please. Oh, my girlfriend Paige would love this place. She's not my girlfriend girlfriend, she's just my friend, I mean, we share a dorm room, so, whatever, it's college right? Oh, she would really love this place. As Collin sits down on a couch, Veronica pauses and stretches to show off her body. VERONICA: I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up to this view. You should really let me know if you ever want to party with us. We're fun, double the fun. COLLIN: Oh, I don't have too many parties. I'm a pretty mellow guy. Veronica settles herself on the arm of the couch, right next to him. VERONICA: Really, you seem kind of...I don't know, wild to me, like a caged animal kind of thing. COLLIN: Oh, you'd have to ask my...girlfriend about that. My actual girlfriend. We're not just dorm mates, if you get my drift. EXT - NEPTUNE STREET - CONTINUING. Wallace is getting more and more concerned as the reception breaks up badly and he can only hear a few words. VERONICA: I...she's...pretty. COLLIN: Drop...gorgeous. INT - COLLIN'S HOUSE - CONTINUING. VERONICA: Can I ask you something? COLLIN: Sure. VERONICA: What about me? Veronica leans closer into him, starting to tumble into his lap. Collin slides along the couch to avoid her. VERONICA: I mean if the range were pretty to drop dead gorgeous, where would I fall? Veronica slips down into the space vacated by Collin, staying close. COLLIN: You'd fall under "knows she's gorgeous, but like to hear it anyway." Don't forget about that mid-term. Collin gets up. Veronica gives him a look of defeat, then follows. EXT - NEPTUNE STREETS - CONTINUING. Wallace is pacing and looks at his watch. WALLACE: [anxious] Veronica. INT - COLLIN'S HOUSE - CONTINUING. Veronica is at the table on which Collin's computer is situated. She takes a disc out of its cover and slides it into the machine. VERONICA: This is really sweet of you. I owe you like the biggest favor ever. Collin's computer shows on its menu: Network - The Clan - Collin - Desktop - collin - Applications - Documents. "Documents" is highlighted as is the list next to it: Downloads - Library - Mailboxes - Personal - Preferences - System - Vacation Photos - Web Cache - Work. On the desktop on the right are icons for "The Clan" and "Collin Burn Files." VERONICA: Seriously, you can ask me for anything. Veronica transfers the wholes list to the second icon and starts the process of burning 18 items to "Collin Burn Files," described as Item: "AIM Log" of which she has copied 829 KB of 35.6 MB. Time remaining is initially shown to be about fifteen minutes but then quickly corrects itself to lest than a minute in the second its taken to burn 2.2 MB. Collin is standing by a poster on the wall of the film "Matchstick Men." VERONICA: Somebody's a big movie buff, I see. Quick, favorite movie of all time, don't think about it, just answer. COLLIN: Oh, I don't know, that's...that's a hard one. This really isn't my place, actually, I'm just house-sitting for my friend. VERONICA: Your friend a big Nicholas Cage fan? Next to the poster is another, this one for "City of Angels." COLLIN: My friend is Nic Cage. VERONICA: Really. EXT - COLLIN'S HOUSE - CONTINUING. Wallace can't hear anything now and decides he has to do something. INT - COLLIN'S HOUSE - CONTINUING. VERONICA: Nic Cage, that's hot. The doorbell rings. COLLIN: Would you excuse me a second? Collin goes to answer the door. Veronica's file is nearing completion at 68.47% and she quickly runs to the top of the stairs to see who's at the door. It's Wallace. COLLIN: Hello. WALLACE: Uh, hi. Wallace sees Veronica behind Collin. She gesticulates that she needs a little longer and for Wallace to stall him. WALLACE: Would you like to help the hungry, starving children of...the world. Veronica can't believe the lameness and mouths "What?" at him. COLLIN: I'm sorry, are you selling something? WALLACE: Yes...I am. Veronica gestures to him to keep it up and that she'll right down. She races back into the bowels of the house. WALLACE: I'm selling, um, pens and candy. Veronica heads for the computer. COLLIN: [offscreen] I'll take a couple of boxes of candy. Wallace's grin at having come up with this plan falters a little when he realises he will have to produce something. He slips his backpack off his shoulder and unzips it. Meanwhile, Veronica's disc has finished burning and she grabs it. Wallace is standing with a narrow box of candy. WALLACE: All I got is this box of Ay Chihuahuas. Collin laughs. COLLIN: That box is open. WALLACE: You want a couple pens? Collin is looking very confused. He's then knocked aside as Veronica barges past him. She grabs Wallace then turns back to Collin. VERONICA: I emailed the paper and called triple-A. Thanks for your help. Your karma's golden. Ciao. Wallace and Veronica run off. Collin is bemused. VERONICA: [offscreen] Whatcha doing? INT - NEPTUNE GRAND, PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - NIGHT. Duncan is watching television. He holds his cell phone to his ear in one hand and the remote in the other. DUNCAN: I'm cramming for that Latin quiz. Can't forget about the Kane legacy. There's a knock on his door. VERONICA: [offscreen] Have you had dinner? DUNCAN: No, I'm tired of room service. He gets up and walks to the door. It's Veronica with the phone to her ear in one hand and a large bag in the other. VERONICA: Then may I suggest Dim Sum... She drops the phone from her ear and goes all sexy. VERONICA: ...and then some? Duncan laughs. A little later, Veronica is on the couch, eating. Duncan is up at the shelves on which the food has been laid out, putting more into bowls. VERONICA: I got the don't-wait-up call for the second night in a row...and if Dad can work all night with Mrs Fennel, then. Mmm. Duncan brings the food to the coffee table in front of the couch and sets them down. He sits close to Veronica, taking her plate and setting it aside. VERONICA: Hmmmm. They put their arms around each other, their free hands intertwining. DUNCAN: What if...we start the evening with "and then some" and work our way back to the Dim Sum? VERONICA: It's officially under consideration. May I ask you something first? DUNCAN: Yes to costumes. No to props. Does that cover it? VERONICA: Why didn't you tell me how often you'd visited Meg since the accident? Duncan closes down. He extricates himself and attends to the food. DUNCAN: Chinese food it is. You want one egg roll or two? Veronica can't believe it. Later, Duncan is asleep while Veronica sits up in bed, wearing a large t-shirt, working on her laptop. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Mental note: don't mention partner's ex-girlfriend if one expects to fool around. And while we're on the subject of men I failed to seduce today, time to see what Collin likes to google. What dirty little secrets are lurking in your browser history? Escort agencies...bootycall.com...Neptune Swingles? On the computer, the time is shown as 1:40 am. It's Saturday. Within a window marked "Collin Nevin Browser History," history numbers 296-299 are visible, but only three have entries. Number 297 was a one-stop search at www.planetzowie.com for Earlimart, conducted at 17:49:27 on October 10th. Number 298, he searched for proposal tips four minutes later. Number 299 was a visit to three pages on www.genealogygopher.com at 17:56:01. There, he did a visitor search for Julie Bloch. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Well look at that. Julie was so afraid to tell Collin about her family's money. Apparently he's figured that out all on his own. Cut to later. Both Duncan and Veronica are asleep. There's a banging on the door. Veronica lifts her head then shoot up. [SCENE_BREAK] VERONICA: Oh my God. It's my dad. Duncan, in his boxers, races out of bed and grabs his jeans. Veronica wraps the sheet around herself. DUNCAN: [calls out] Who is it? LIZZIE: It's Lizzie. Um, I really need to talk to you. DUNCAN: H-hang on a sec. VERONICA: What is Meg's sister doing here at two AM? Duncan spreads his hands to indicate he doesn't know. He hurries out to the main room. Veronica starts to follow but Duncan holds out a hand, stopping her. VERONICA: Oh, sorry, should I hide in the bedroom like a hooker? Perfect. Veronica angrily sweeps the sheet from the bed and around herself as Duncan silently pleads for her co-operation. He sighs and shuts the bedroom doors. Veronica walks back to the end of the bed and sits, fed up. Duncan goes to the door of the suite to Lizzie. Lizzie is not so dourly dressed this time, wearing something sparkly. LIZZIE: Sorry, I-I didn't know where else to go. In the bedroom, Veronica can hear them. DUNCAN: [offscreen] Is Meg alright? LIZZIE: [offscreen] She didn't wake up or anything. Duncan and Lizzie are still at the door. The camera goes to Veronica on occasion to show her reactions to their conversation. LIZZIE: My parents got a call from the school. They're going tomorrow morning to clean out Meg's locker. She kept this at school. Lizzie enters the suite and holds out a laptop as Duncan shuts the door behind her. LIZZIE: It's got everything on it. I'm sure Meg told you that my parents aren't real big on privacy. T-they go through our, our rooms, our cars, our backpacks. DUNCAN: So, you want me to hide it for her? LIZZIE: Well, whatever genius called from the office told my parents about this computer. Meg has a laptop my parents didn't know about. They're gonna wanna see what's on it. I don't have the password. But we have to get her personal stuff off this computer and put it back by morning. DUNCAN: Okay, so...what do you want me to do? LIZZIE: You're the son of a computer visionary. C-can't you do something? DUNCAN: I can burn a CD. LIZZIE: All I know is if my parents see what's on there, they'll pull the plug on Meg tomorrow. Can I use your bathroom real quick? DUNCAN: Uh, ah, not really. Lizzie opens the doors to the bedroom. She freezes when she sees Veronica. VERONICA: Hi, Lizzie. Okay, so apparently looks really can't kill. DUNCAN: I'm sorry, I-I didn't want you to be-- LIZZIE: Did you hear us? VERONICA: Yes. And if you'll let me, I know someone who can help. Cut to a little later. Fingers fly across the laptop's keyboard. A DOS-like list under the heading "File System Start" is on the display screen. Mac is at work, Duncan and Veronica sitting on the couch one side of her and Lizzie on the other. MAC: I have to say, it is a little comforting. I haven't snuck out of my house at three AM in a while. Nice to know I still have the chops. On the display appears: K:/CONFIGURED/USER/MEGMANNING/PASSWORD/LOCKED ATTEMPTED LOGIN 00.9981.2837.B K:/FIELD SOURCE REQUEST/SUBMIT/ !GENZ-HACKALGORITHM!-('ESTABLISH USERID') DEFINE-USER-WITHOUTATTCHED.SYSQ.TTF REMOVE HEADER - FAILED ATTEMPT 1 K:/FIELD SOURCE REQUEST/SUBMIT/ !FENX-HACKALGORITHM69!-('ESTABLISH USERID') DEFINE-USER-WITHOUTATTCHED.SYSQ-7789.TTF JOIN - PASSWORD STORED REMOVE FIELD STRING - SUCCESSFUL MAC: And, I'm in. Meg's background is an aquamarine flame against a blue stone-textured background. The word "hot" appears within the flame in the same blue. MAC: This is the hard drive. You want all the emails, right? LIZZIE: Mmm. On the desktop, there are two icons, "Meg's HD" and "FLASHDRV." Meg's own files include: Church - Pep Squad - Mail - Web Cache. Mac moves the mail folder to the flashdrive icon. MAC: You must have some nosey-ass parents. Lizzie laughs ruefully and looks over at Duncan, raising her eyebrows. Mac removes the flashdrive from the computer. She hands it to Duncan. MAC: And this goes...to you? Right? DUNCAN: Yeah, I guess. Duncan takes it. Cut to morning. Duncan is brushing his teeth in the bedroom, still in his robe and boxers. The flashdrive is on the table in the lounge area. Veronica comes out of the bathroom, fully dressed. They smile at each other and Duncan heads into the bathroom as Veronica comes out into the lounge area. She sees the flashdrive just sitting there. Music: So Jealous by Tegan and Sara. LYRICS: I don't know how it's become such a problem Keep you up all night if I try to remain calm How can they ask I want the ocean right now I get so jealous that I can't even work I want the ocean right now I get so jealous that I can't even work I want the ocean right now I get so jealous that I can't even work I want the ocean right now I get so jealous that I can't even work There I am in the morning I don't like what I see There I am in the morning I don't like what I see Veronica stops and looks down at the flashdrive. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Are you crazy, Duncan? Leaving this out here in the open? Do you leave heroin out when Iggy Pop spends the night? Veronica gets out her laptop and sits down. She grabs the flashdrive and plugs it into the machine. Before she can do anything else, her cell rings and she notes the number, smiling resignedly. She answers. VERONICA: Hello, Julie. INT - JULIE'S HOUSE - CONTINUING. Julie is curled up on a couch. JULIE: Was it awful? VERONICA: [offscreen] He was a consummate gentleman. INT - NEPTUNE GRAND, PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - CONTINUING. VERONICA: He didn't try to flirt. And in fact, he just told me how great you were. INT - JULIE'S HOUSE - CONTINUING. Julie looks almost devastated. INT - NEPTUNE GRAND, PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - CONTINUING. Veronica awaits her response. JULIE: [offscreen] Okay. I guess this is the moment that I officially became a jealous freak. On her laptop, the menu comes up, showing the contents of the flashdrive as "Meg's files." VERONICA: Hey, Julie, can I call you back later? Veronica switches off the phone and stares at the laptop. She cocks her head in thought, and then pulls out the flashdrive. She puts it back on the table, arranging it in the same place it was, a little proud smile on her face. It doesn't last as she wonders what she's doing. She sighs. End music: So Jealous by Tegan and Sara. EXT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - DAY. Keith comes out of the house, jiggling his keys. Someone shouts in the distance. MALE VOICE: He already left for work. Keith looks up and slows on seeing his car, parked in the street. There are wheel clamps on all four wheels. Keith is pissed off, despite the nice "Keith Mars for Sheriff" poster stuck in the Fennel's front lawn. INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Lamb is sitting back in his chair. The phone rings. Lamb punches a button. LAMB: It's Lamb. EXT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Keith is still standing outside the house, cell phone to his ear. The camera cuts between them. KEITH: I'm thinking I might have a boot for you too. Any ideas where I can put it? Lamb grins. LAMB: Hey, you started it with your "I found you a wanted man" BS. Lamb reaches forward and grabs a file. LAMB: You send me in to arrest Carl Morgan, AKA Nathan Woods, Chicago cop, big-time decorated detective. Keith is shocked. LAMB: Did you think I wouldn't check up on the guy, Keith? His record is one phone call away... Keith is beyond shocked, he is devastated. His hand with the phone drops down, consigning Lamb's words to the ether. LAMB: ...how stupid do you think that I am? Keith looks back at the house. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS - DAY. The posters and boxes of stickers have all been cleared away. Julie enters. Veronica is at her desk. JULIE: I already know it's awful if you wouldn't tell me over the phone. Veronica grabs a file and walks towards the couch. They sit. VERONICA: After a thorough investigation, Collin appears to be a loyal, committed partner without a criminal record and...his friends and exes both speak very highly of him. She hands Julie the file. JULIE: The bad news must be really bad? VERONICA: The house he currently lives in and the car he drives aren't his. He's housesitting...for Nicolas Cage. That's Lisa-Marie in the framed photo on the bar. And finally, it appears as though he did do some research into your background and he is aware that your family's wealthy. JULIE: [semi-hysterically] He went digging for information on me. I should have known. He told me he had a trust fund. He-he totally let me believe that house was his. He... VERONICA: I have some of his internet history on my computer if you want to... Keith walks in. He's not happy. VERONICA: Mr Mars, I thought you had the Kiwanis banquet. KEITH: Miss Bloch, I need to speak with Veronica for a moment. Would you mind? JULIE: Sure, I need to go stand in traffic for a while. Maybe jump off a pier. Julie is close to tears and leaves. Veronica awaits the storm. Keith closes the door behind Julie. KEITH: Another satisfied customer? Keith hands her a file from his briefcase. KEITH: Here, can you file this under "cases I don't have time for that my disobedient daughter can take behind my back"? Veronica, having taken the file and now standing, turns to Keith. VERONICA: I'm really sorry. KEITH: For what? Taking the case or getting caught? VERONICA: Okay, for both. I just thought it was crazy to pass up that amount of money and I thought I could handle it. KEITH: [angry] You always think you can handle it, Veronica. Veronica heads for her desk. KEITH: Believe it or not... She pauses, her back to him. KEITH:...at eighteen, you can't handle everything. And you don't get away with it all, either. VERONICA: I know. Keith walks towards her, pointing. KEITH: Whether it's playing I-Spy after school or staying out all night at your boyfriend's hotel room. Veronica, now at her desk, is horrified, not expecting that. She sinks down into her seat. KEITH: You're just not quite as clever as you think you are. Keith grabs his office door and enters, letting it slam behind him. As Veronica processes this, she glances at Collin's browser history on the laptop. She notices something (other than the fact that the display is now showing Saturday, 1:43 AM, whereas the office clock shows it to be 16:10) and picks up the phone. EXT - NEPTUNE STREETS - CONTINUING. Julie is in her car, now badgeless, parked at the side of the road. Her cell sounds. She wipes her nose and answers. JULIE: [tearfully] Hello? INT - MI - CONTINUING. The camera alternates between them. VERONICA: Julie, I just thought of something. JULIE: You know, you think you're dating Prince Charming...but you're really dating Prince Charming's Kato. I just called him. I ended it. It's over. She sniffs noisily. JULIE: As soon as he checks his messages. VERONICA: You broke up with him on his-- Julie, the internet search that Collin did on your family was dated five days ago. JULIE: Yeah, so? VERONICA: So you found the ring, like, two weeks ago. He-he checked into your family after he bought the ring. He was probably looking to find your father so that he could ask for his approval. I-I'll bet he didn't even know about the money. JULIE: He lied about the house. VERONICA: He told you it was his? JULIE: It was implied. He probably lied about the trust fund too. VERONICA: You didn't exactly tell him the truth either. JULIE: It's one thing to lie and say you're not rich. The other way around is way less cool. VERONICA: I think I get it now. Money matters. JULIE: Of course it matters. Veronica hangs up. INT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - DAY. Keith uses a key to enter and calls out. KEITH: Alicia, Alicia, it's me, Keith. Anybody home? There's no response. Cut to a few moments later, as Keith searches through files in a desk. He pulls out a blue file and starts to flick through it. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - DAY. Veronica is in the kitchen folding laundry. After folding a couple of t-shirts, she comes to Collin's handkerchief. It is monogrammed and she notices it for the first time. The monogram is a crest and the initials PCN. VERONICA VOICEOVER: When your mom's an alcoholic, you spend a lot of time looking at bottles. Veronica searches through the drinks cupboard. She pulls out a bottle of scotch. INT - JULIE'S HOUSE - DAY. Julie opens a box addressed to "Julie Block." (A further example of Veronica's sudden inability to spell.) She strips off the tape and opens the box, picking up an advert on top. It is for Loch Nevin single Highland malt, with the crest on the picture of the bottle matching that on Collin's handkerchief. Underneath is a letter from Veronica which Julie picks up. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Julie, I wanted you to have these. Everything Patrick Collin Nevin told you is true. He does have a trust fund, perhaps bigger than either of us imagined. The enclosed article mentions that he hates to flaunt his wealth or his celebrity friendships. Julie picks the handkerchief out of the box and gazes sadly at it. VERONICA VOICEOVER: You both wanted to be sure you were loved for who you really were. And it seems that one of you was. INT - MI - DAY. Keith pulls one of his pictures of Carl Morgan/Nathan Woods off the printer. Files are stacked all over Veronica's desk and a phone starts to ring. Keith hurries back to get the call. KEITH: Keith Mars. Mr Pasqual. Keith reaches forward, digging through the piles of files. KEITH: Yes, uh, I know, it's been a little busy here. He continues searching through, starting to hum. KEITH: Um...here we go. He pulls out a file from the stack and opens it. KEITH: I'm sorry, sir, it looks like you wife is indeed having an affair. He puts the file back, pausing to listen. KEITH: Your uncle? Missing persons case. He starts to search a different, smaller stack of files. KEITH: I'm very sorry sir. It-a-it's a little filing mix-up. You were stuck inside of Mr Pastorelli's file. He finds the file, opens it and scans it.. KEITH: Your Uncle Al is alive and well in a retirement home in Waikiki and, as far as I know, completely faithful. Keith laughs to make light of his faux-pas. KEITH: I have his number right here. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Keith wanders into Veronica's bedroom, attempting to be a little nonchalant. Veronica looks up at him from her desk. Keith smiles at her. Veronica stares at him in anticipation. She cocks her head a little to encourage him to speak. KEITH: Okay. Maybe I can use your help around the office. A bit. Veronica's mouth falls open. She pushes back from her desk, making the sound of screeching brakes. VERONICA: I'm sorry. Come again? Keith doesn't respond. VERONICA: You're never going to tell me what happened to prompt this, are you. He shakes his head. KEITH: Nope. Now, I'm just talking about a little help with research, filing, the phones--- VERONICA: I do give good phone. KEITH: It's just a couple days a week. And you're keeping your job at the Hut. VERONICA: Of course, I'll be needing a raise. Keith points at her on his way out ("yeah, that's going to happen" perhaps) and exits. Veronica returns to her laptop. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Since talking to Weevil, I've been dying to track down this mysterious tipster. Veronica is on PryingEyez, on the blank database search page. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Who knows if Weevil, or the tipster for that matter, was telling the truth? She types in a (different than she took from Weevil's phone) number = 619-555-0162. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Maybe Curly Moran was part of a plot to retaliate against a PCHer, and maybe that's exactly what someone wants up to believe. That call could have come from anywhere, a business line, a pay phone, or-- The page comes up. The number is shown to belong to Aaron Echolls of 880 Muir Street, Neptune, CA 90909. (The house number was 15663 in 106 Return of the Kane.) Aaron's SSN is 931-45-8974 and his date of birth is September 24th, 1959. Lynn is shown as deceased, with SSN 917-38-4781 and a date of birth of January 17th, 1963. VERONICA: Oh, my God. EXT - NHS - DAY. A couple of students are talking in the foreground as Logan walks out of the school in the background. STUDENT: You're, like, accepted. ANOTHER STUDENT: Hey. Veronica is waiting for him and starts walking towards him. When he sees her, he does a mock turn on his heel before pressing forward towards her. LOGAN: Okay. God, I just can't take the begging. Having put his hands on his head, he drops them to his side. LOGAN: I'll relent, just once. But, ah, no cuddling after...and I won't call you in the morning. VERONICA: Saturday, September twenty-fourth, there was a two minute and twenty-three second phone call on Weevil's cell phone made from your house. The caller claimed that Curly Moran was responsible for the bus crash. The same Curly Moran who's friends with your dad. [accusatory] Any explanation? LOGAN: My day is complete. Veronica Mars has accused me of evil. Logan accompanies this with a full dramatisation of twirling the ends of his imaginary moustache. LOGAN: Hm. Where to start? Oh yes, who the hell is Curly Moran? And how do you know he knows my dad and what conspiracy theory have you pulled out of your ass this time? Again he illustrates his last point with his hand. VERONICA: The fact, evidenced by the poster in your house, is that Curly Moran was the stunt-coordinator on "The Long Haul," starring Aaron Echolls, circa 1982. Logan nods. VERONICA: Now, September twenty-fourth? LOGAN: Like I have any idea w-- A thought strikes him and he reaches into his backpack. LOGAN: I think I do remember that night. That was the night of my Life Short party. Mm. He pulls out from his page a crumpled piece of salmon-coloured paper, stretching it out to show her. On it is written: LIFE'S SHORT _k it away like there's no tomorrow. Come - Rock out - Black out @ Logan's 880 Muir St. Sept. 20m, 9pm. Kegger. (Um, guys, the date - either a cock-up or Logan's making a mistake, deliberate or otherwise.) VERONICA: Of course, a group of lower-middle class Neptune High students plummet to their death and the 09ers throw a party. LOGAN: Hence the Life Short part. It was in their honor and in the end, it wasn't just your social betters. In fact, your pal, Weevil, and his biker boys crashed it. He moves past her, then pauses and laughs. LOGAN: Oh, and, ah... He turns back to her. LOGAN: Lamb and a half dozen deputies came by to break it up, or at least collect the kegs. VERONICA: There are five numbers registered to your house. This call came from a number I don't recognize. LOGAN: Well, gee willikers, Veronica, it sounds like you're on to something. Maybe the pool boy did it. Logan makes a big show of looking at a watch he doesn't have. LOGAN: Um. He shows Veronica his wrist and walks off. She stares after him, then turns away. INT - MI - DAY. Keith is in his office, on the telephone. In front of him are spread out various papers. The first is a Certificate of Live Birth. It shows that Cherie Parker Saunders was born on March 9th, 1968 at the Chicago Memorial Hospital in Cook County. Her mother was Chelsea Gay Saunders, aged 21, who was born in Iowa and her husband, middle name Allan, aged 26, who was born in Illinois. They lived at 3369 South Halsted, Cook County. KEITH: You don't have anything? He lifts it to reveal another document. This is a rental application for 8708 Dallas St, Chicago, Ill. 60191 for the period of May 1985 to May 1986. The rent is $1600 a month and that is due, together with a security deposit of the same amount and a credit check fee of $25.00 have to be paid up front. The application is in the name of Cherie Woods, home number 555-0193, work number 555-0105, SSN 563-13-2924, driver's license number/state A3278904, vehicle - an '83 silver Honda Civic, license plate number/state 3PRY956, CH. A previous address of 6073 Horton Drive, since June 15th 1982 is shown, vacating for school and another earlier address. KEITH: Not under "Woods" either? By 1987, she was going by Alicia Fennel. He pauses at the person at the other end of the phone talks. KEITH: Yeah, she does. What? Are you sure? Keith is very upset by what he is hearing. EXT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - DAY. Wallace, abs showing nicely, is working on his car's engine. NATHAN: [offscreen] Wallace. Wallace looks around, then stands, closing the bonnet as he does. Carl Mogan/Nathan Woods is standing by his car. WALLACE: Yeah. Who are you? Woods pulls a photograph of himself and Alicia out of his pocket. He holds it out. NATHAN: Take a look. Wallace shrugs. WALLACE: Am I supposed to know you? NATHAN: You sure are, Wallace. I'm your father. Wallace isn't sure how to react. End.	Plan: A: Veronica; Q: Who investigates a woman's fiancé? A: Meg's sister; Q: Who asks Duncan to help retrieve information from Meg's laptop? A: her parents; Q: Who does Meg's sister want Duncan to retrieve information from her laptop before they find it? A: Chicago; Q: Where did Alicia meet the man who is the father of Wallace? A: Neptune; Q: Where does the man who Alicia met in Chicago come to? A: Keith; Q: Who finds out that the man who Alicia met in Chicago is Alicia's former husband? Summary: Veronica investigates a woman's fiancé, but finds that the only secret he has been concealing is that he is independently wealthy. Meg's sister asks Duncan to help retrieve information from Meg's laptop before her parents find it. The man who Alicia met in Chicago comes to Neptune, and Keith finds out that he is Alicia's former husband and Wallace's father.
"The Santa in the Slush" [SCENE_BREAK] TEASER (Open: Two mall elves are walking out - behind the mall - to take a break.) LITTLE ELF: Oh, god. I can't deal with any more kids poking at me. TEENAGE ELF: Ha. At least you got the kids, I get their dads. Letches all want me to sit on their laps. LITTLE ELF: I don't much care for the way Santa's gawking at you either. (the teenage elf lights up a cigarette) Don't do that . You're too pretty to smoke. TEENAGE ELF: Next you're gonna tell me it'll stunt my growth. LITTLE ELF: Be nice, now. It's Christmas. (The teenage elf notices a smell in the air) TEENAGE ELF: What's that smell? LITTLE ELF: What do ya want? It's the back of the mall. TEENAGE ELF: I have a very sensitive nose. LITTLE ELF: Don't walk - why are you walking? Let's just sit. TEENAGE ELF: It's coming from over here. (the both head towards towards the source of the smell) There's something... LITTLE ELF: Probably old hot dogs or a dead cat. (The teenage elf leans over to pick up a plastic bag off the grate) No, no no. Don't touch. Let me. (She grabs a stick and pokes the bag with it - moving if off the grate. They both look down the grate and see a dad body - dressed in a Santa outfit - the two scream and run back into the mall.) (Cut to: Prison - Visitors room - early evening. Brennan is visiting her dad in jail) MAX: Jails not too bad. I get meals with your brother. We go out on these work details together. You haven't asked me why I'm strapped in these chains. BRENNAN: Well, you're in jail. MAX: No. I'm in dress rehearsal for A Christmas Carol. BRENNAN: You're Jacob Marley? MAX: I wanted to be Scrooge, but some triple homicide in cell block H got the part. You don't want to know how. (Brennan laughs.) What are you gonna do for Christmas? BRENNAN: I'm doing what I always do. I'm going on a trip. MAX: New York? BRENNAN: Peru. National Geographic found a new step pyramid, an ancient ceremonial site known as El Bruho. 1500 year old skeletons. Part of a very mysterious culture called The Moche. MAX: Well, unless they're elves, that's not very Christmassy. BRENNAN: No. They aren't elves. MAX: You know what I'd like? I'd like to spend another Christmas with - with kids. With a family, with a tree. BRENNAN: You're in jail, dad. So is Russ. Mom's dead. MAX: Yeah. Yeah. And - and Christmas is overrated anyway. People expect it to be so perfect, it never is. BRENNAN: I'm really looking forward to the skeletons in El Bruho. MAX: Yeah, but Christmas and skeletons - do not go together. BRENNAN: I remember the Christmas you and mom gave me the toolbox. That was great. MAX: Yeah. Except that the, uh, toolbox was for Russ but you decided that it was yours and he let you have it. BRENNAN: He did? Oh. (they laugh and then Brennan's phone rings and she checks the text message) MAX: I hope someday that, uh, we can all have Christmas together again. BRENNAN: I doubt it, Dad. MAX: Well, lie to me! I - I can pretend. BRENNNA: I've gotta go look at a dead person. MAX: Well, you never were good at sugar coating anything. (She gets up and leaves) (Cut to: Booth's car - night.) BOOTH: You got that sad little girl look on your face after you've been with your dad. BRENNAN: (whiny) No I don't....(Booth gives her a knowing look.) He wishes we could spend Christmas together with Russ. BOOTH: Well, do it. BRENNAN: They're both in jail. It's impossible. What are your plans? BOOTH: I'm thinking about driving the truck right off the bridge. Oh, I'm being melodramatic and self pitying. BRENNAN: You love Christmas. BOOTH: I love it - you know - when I have Parker. But this year he's going skiing in Vermont with Rebecca and Captain Fantastic. BRENNAN: Who's Captain Fantastic? BOOTH: Ah, it's her boyfriend. Commands a Coastguard cutter. BRENNAN: His last name isn't literally "Fantastic", is it? BOOTH: Might as well be. You know they have a trailer at the jail, mostly for conjugal visits. BRENNAN: Captain Fantastic is in jail? BOOTH: No. You're dad. You can give him what he wants for Christmas. Pull a few strings. BRENNAN: I'm not a string puller. BOOTH: I've seen you pull some strings. BRENNAN: My father is a murder and a thief. BOOTH: Well, murders and thief's, they get Christmas too. In fact, it's kinda the point. BRENNAN: Well, I have other plans. BOOTH: Well, whatever they are, skeletons and Christmas do not mix. BRENNAN: That's exactly what my father said. Where are we going? BOOTH: Early Christmas present for you, Bones. Dead guy in a sewer. (Cut to: Back of a mall - outside. Booth and Brennan approach the crime scene.) BOOTH: It's cold enough as it is, let's get this done here. (Cam shines a flash light on the victim) Great. Had to be Santa. CAM: You'd think someone who could squeeze up and down chimneys would find the sewer a snap. BRENNAN: Rats got to him. CAM: The huge bacterial count and unseasonably warm weather, explains why the rats found him so digestible. BOOTH: He was washed down through the sewer system. I mean, look at all the stuff that's around him. BRENNAN: Uphill is - that way. CAM: Busiest shopping district during the busiest shopping season. BRENNAN: Maybe he worked up there. BOOTH: Or he was pushed out of a low flying sleigh... CAM: Cynicism from you at Christmas? What happened. BOOTH: Nothing. BRENNAN: Rebecca's taking Parker to Vermont for the holidays. CAM: That sucks, majorly. BOOTH: It does suck majorly, so what do you say we just get back to our dead Santa here. BRENNAN: It's not Santa, Booth. He's a dead man in a costume. CAM: Well, the beard looks real and he's pretty fat. BRENNAN: Which doesn't make him Santa. CAM: Well, let's not jump to conclusions. BOOTH: Aw, three days before Christmas and somebody kills Santa. ACT I (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Cam & Zack are examining the body) CAM: We'll send his gloves to the FBI Crime Lab, see if they can get any finger prints from the inside. ZACK: Damage here on the left side of the skull, suggests a strong blow to the left temporal bone. CAM: So Santa was definitely murdered. Someone did not like their present. HODGINS: There's copious insect activity from the sewer. ZACK: I'm intrigued that the Santa myth survived so far into modern times. CAM: Children, Dr. Addy. It's for children. HODGINS: These duds, are not department store issue. That is real ermine. That's a hand tailored suit. CAM: Which I'd like to get off of him after you two finish your scraping and - not that that isn't all very, very important. ZACK: What Santa is suppose to do is clearly impossible. HODGINS: He keeps a list. Checks it twice. What's the big deal? ZACK: You take into account all believers of the myth, factor in time zone, rotation of the earth and assume Santa travels East to West, he would have to approximately make 822.6 visits per second to reach every child. HODGINS: So Santa parks his sleigh, unloads presents, fills stockings, eats snacks, gets back into his sleigh and onto the next house in about 1/1000th of a second? ZACK: Children have to be stupid to accept that. CAM: Okay, first of all - children are not stupid, they're just children. Second, Santa - is magic. Let's identify the victim, shall we? ZACK: There's an ellipsoid aperture in the mandibular left canine and first premolar. Consistent with pipe smoking. (Hodgins pulls up a picture of Santa Claus on the monitor) HODGINS: Mhmm? Plus traces of residue on the canine - could this be clay? ZACK: Santa is often portrayed smoking a clay pipe. CAM: Alright, alright. Very funny, boys. HODGINS: Come on. Where's your holiday spirit? (He shakes some jingle bells at Cam) CAM: Based on the degree of bloating and purged fluids, I'd estimate time of death between 72 and 96 hours ago. Check the sewer sledge and bugs, give me confirmation. HODGINS: Phorid fly maggots, third instar and the appear to have been well fed as well. Santa was around some other food source before he died. My bets on milk and cookies. CAM: This is not "Miracle on 34th Street". ZACK: We're not saying this is actually Santa Claus. We're merely anatomizing the evidence. (Angela enters) ANGELA: Okay, it's still rough, but - (she turns over her sketch and smiles. It's a sketch of Santa Claus.) this might help. (Cut to: Prison - Visitors room - early evening. Brennan is visiting Russ.) BRENNAN: Dad wants to spend Christmas with family. RUSS: So how you gonna arrange it? Bust me and dad out? BRENNAN: There are trailers for conjugal visits - you might be able to use one of those. And I talked to Amy and she said she could bring the girls down to see you. (Russ leans back, upset) RUSS: You shouldn't have done that. BRENNAN: Amy said the girls have been asking about you... RUSS: I lied to them, Tempe. The girls don't even know I'm in here. They think I went overseas to work. BRENNAN: You're deserting them, just like dad. RUSS: You think it would be better for them to find out that the guy they think is so wonderful, is actually a criminal? BRENNAN: When I found out that dad was not dead I was happy, even though it turned out that he was - RUSS: A murderer. BRENNAN: You are not a murderer, Russ. RUSS: It doesn't sound like a good Christmas present to me. BRENNAN: You could explain it- RUSS: No, Tempe. It's not gonna happen. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan enters her office to find Booth, asleep on the couch.) BRENNAN: Can't you sleep on your own couch? BOOTH: (still half asleep) Sheesh. Just waiting for the squints to find out something. (he sits up a bit) How did it go with Russ? BRENNAN: He says he doesn't want the girls to come. BOOTH: Your dad, he wants the whole Christmas package. You know - the tree, the kids, the presents - the whole shebang. BRENNAN: Well, the whole shebang isn't possible. BOOTH: Christmas - is about making the impossible happen. BRENNAN: You mean like you spending Christmas with Parker. BOOTH: Okay, you know what? That hurt. Wake me up when the, uh, squint squad finds out something. (He turns back over on his side and goes back to sleep) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform.) ZACK: Victim appears to have odd shaped remodeling on his sacrum with a sclerotic margin around the injury. HODGINS: Some kind of old injury? ZACK: Two small indentations, here (he points to the screen) consistent with trauma from impact with some sort of cloven hoof. HODGINS: Cloven like...a reindeer? (Angela approaches them from behind) HODGINS: Oh, thank god your here. This is so wasted on me alone. ZACK: Evidence is evidence, whether anyone is there to hear it or not. HODGINS: (to Angela) Our victim - was kick by a reindeer. ANGELA: Oh. Get the HELL outta here. ZACK: (points to the screen again) The sacrum. ANGELA: Wait. The evidence actually adds up to an old, fat man with a white beard, in a custom made Santa suit who smoked a clay pipe and got kicked in the ass by a reindeer? (They all turn to look at the body covered by a sheet as Cam enters the platform) CAM: FBI lab got partial prints off the gloves and AFIS found a possible match. Apparently, our victim worked for the school board. HODGINS: He was a teacher? CAM: No. He was a Santa Claus. ANGELA: A - Santa Claus? HODGINS: Or THE Santa Claus? (Cams hands the folder over to Zack.) CAM: Check out his name. ZACK: Kristopher Kringle. CAM: According to AFIS, it's his legal name. (Cut to: Booth and Brennan crossing a street - day.) BRENNAN: Well, there's the old Dutch Cinter Claus. BOOTH: (he grabs Brennan's arm) Watch out. BRENNAN: I'm looking! BOOTH: You're gonna get hit by a car. BRENNAN: He had a partner, named Black Peter, who carried a whip to beat naughty children. Myths are traditionally used to control behavior. For instance, the story of Moses bringing the Ten Commandments- BOOTH: Wait, you're equating Moses to Santa. BRENNAN: Well, Santa's usually considered more jolly, but basically- BOOTH: Okay, great. We're looking for 223 Hudson. BRENNAN: I'm sorry you can't be with Parker, Booth. BOOTH: What are ya gonna do, right? He's gotta face the facts sometime- BRENNAN: No, but she shouldn't take him away. Not at Christmas. Not the way he feels about you. BOOTH: Oh. My. God. BRENNAN: What? (The find the address they were looking for - it's a toy store names Big Top Toy Shoppe) BOOTH: He lives in a toy store! BRENNAN: Oh! (Booth starts laughing as they enter.) (Cut to: Kristopher Kringle's apartment. Booth and Brennan enter the dark apartment.) BRENNAN: Watch out for reindeer... BOOTH: Yeah, really funny. (Booth flips on the light switch and the room comes alive. It's practically a Christmas Wonderland. "Holly Jolly Christmas" starts playing, the room is painted red and there are Christmas lights all over. There is also huge train track that encompasses almost the entire room. Booth and Brennan just look at the room, amazed.) BOOTH: Wow, Parker would love this place. (Booth goes to check out the train) Look at this! Gingerbread, it's go the train. (Meanwhile, Brennan goes to check out the refrigerator and finds it stocked with milk, carrots and cookies.) BOOTH: (still by the train) Look at this! BRENNAN: Booth. BOOTH: Yeah? BRENNAN: (picks up a picture frame with a picture of "Santa" and a reindeer and shows Booth) This might explain the reindeer kick to Kringle's sacrum. (Booth goes off to look around some more and comes across a closet. He opens it to find it full of santa garb) BOOTH: Ha.You gotta be kidding me. Bones! Look at this. (he pulls out a pair of pajama bottoms with santa clauses on them) Wow! This guy was committed. BRENNAN: He should have been. (Booth whistles and closes the closet then starts rifling through the draws, which are also filled with santa garb. Brennan looks around the apartment at all the picture - which are Kringle dressed as Santa. Eventually, Booth comes across a false bottom in one of the drawers.) BOOTH: (knocks on it) Hey Bones? Check this out. Hidden compartment. (He opens it, only to find a draw full of cash - thousands of dollars.) Looks like Santa was planning on buying a lot of toys. ACT II (Cut to: Kristopher Kringle's apartment. More FBI Agents have arrived and are collecting evidence. Ralph Harley, the landlord, enters.) RALPH: Kris rented this place from me for six years. BRENNAN: Do you know where he lived before that? BOOTH: Well, actually Bones, that wasn't my first question. RALPH: He wrote his previous address on the lease. (Brennan takes the lease from him and looks at it.) BRENNAN: North Pole? BOOTH: Aw, come on with that. BRENNAN: See? It turned out to be a good question! BOOTH: You actually accepted that address? RALPH: Are you kidding? How many guys want to live above a toy store? It's noisy. And Kris gave me first and last months rent, upfront, in cash. BRENNAN: Kris Kringle. From the North Pole. Lives above a toy store - This is further evidence that our victim, is indeed, the mythic figure known as Santa Claus. BOOTH: Mythic. Coming from the Latin, "Myth", meaning "doesn't actually exist". BRENNAN: No. From the Greek, "Mythos", meaning "word" (At the same time) BOOTH: He does not- BRENNAN: This right here- (They both stop when they realize that Ralph is still there, amused at their bickering.) BOOTH: What can you tell us about Mr. Kringle's personal finances. RALPH: Like I said, he always paid cash. BRENNAN: Where did he work? RALPH: Uh, employment agency called "Temp Time". On 7th, by the Convention Center. BOOTH: Ha! Couldn't have been Santa! BRENNAN: Why? BOOTH: Because Santa wouldn't have worked at a temp agency! BRENNAN: Well, why not? His work is seasonal- BOOTH: Because he would - (Ralph just stares at them again and they stop bickering.) Kringle pay his rent on time? RALPH: Always, at least until the last couple of months. BOOTH: Really? Because, ya know what, obviously he wasn't short on funds with all the money we found in the secret compartment of his drawer. (He points out the wad of cash sticking out from the drawer to Ralph) RALPH: Son of a bitch! $1200 of that is mine. BRENNAN: All of this is rumpled small bills, except for these (she holds up a bag of $50's) eight $50 bills. BOOTH: Brand new with sequential serial numbers. RALPH: I don't know about any of this. BOOTH: Alright, look. Whoa, whoa. Did you, uh, guys have some kind of a disagreement? Is that why he was holding out on you? RALPH: No. No. No. Maybe, Kris gave me some ideas on a toy, which i patented and... BRENNAN: It sold? RALPH: Somebody took a picture of TomKat's kid with it so, it sorta took off. BOOTH: Wow. Kringle could have sued you for a chunk of that cash. RALPH: He never actually told me he wanted a cut. Maybe, he just stopped paying his rent. (Cut to: Booth's car - Day.) BRENNAN: Thinking of Parker? BOOTH: No. Thinking about your dad? BRENNAN: No. Russ. BOOTH: Well, you can't blame him for not wanting those girls to know the truth. BRENNAN: He's living a lie. You'd never do that. BOOTH: Well, not never. I mean, I - I lie to Parker - especially this time of year. BRENNAN: What about? BOOTH: Tell him that Santa's coming. BRENNAN: Really? BOOTH: It's Santa Claus! BRENNAN: Santa myth is based on blackmail- Be good or you won't get any presents. BOOTH: No. It's not a LIE lie, Bones. It's more like everybody agreeing that up to a certain age, kids deserve to live a different kind of truth. BRENNAN: Okay, by that reasoning, what we should do is figure out a lie Russ could tell the girls so they wouldn't know he's in jail. BOOTH: That is a brilliant Christmas idea. BRENNAN: It was intended to be a scathing and incisive comment. BOOTH: Give Russ civvies. The girls think he's flown in specially to visit his father in jail at Christmas. BRENNAN: Where would you say he's been? BOOTH: Building a bridge in Addis Ababa. BRENNAN: Addis Ababa is the land locked capital of Ethiopia. BOOTH: Fine, Bones. You know what? Just make up your own lie. BRENNAN: I don't believe in lying to children. BOOTH: You just want to go to Peru without feeling guilty, alright. BRENNAN: You need to accept that you won't have Parker this Christmas. BOOTH: I am not enjoying this holiday season, at all. BRENNAN: Yeah, well, neither am I. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Exam Room) ZACK: The shadow on the x ray is a slight depression of the outer endocranial table. Fractures levered inward. There are no signs of remodeling. (Zack brings up the depression on the screen to show Cam) CAM: (going over to the screen) This staining suggests that his superficial temporal artery was punctured. ZACK: Very likely the cause of death. CAM: So Santa was conked on the head. Question is, with what? ZACK: I'll run it under the scanning electron microscope. CAM: So, what are you doing for Christmas. ZACK: Going home to Michigan. What about you? CAM: Family cruise. ZACK: Sounds nice. CAM: You'd think so. Let me know what you find. (Cut to: Temp Time Employment Agency. Brennan and Booth are questioning Dale Owens, the owner) DALE: Kris is dead? BOOTH: 'fraid so. DALE: Man. I had a bad feeling something was wrong. I mean, it's not like Kris to miss work. Especially not this time of year. I called him a hundred times- BRENNAN: Twelve. Twelve times. We listened to his answering machine. BOOTH: Ya know, there are a lot of Santa's here. DALE: Yeah, but Kris was my numero uno. I mean, all the guys knew that here. In fact, if it wasn't him, I never would have thought about getting into the Santa business. Christmas is not gonna be the same without Kris Kringle. BRENNAN: Anthropologically, what exactly would it mean to be 'numero uno' Santa Claus? DALE: Well, Kris got the best gigs. BOOTH: Any of the other Santa's - they get jealous? DALE: Jealous enough to kill? Come on. (One of the Santa's interjects.) SANTA JEFF: Is this about Kris? Did something happen to him? BOOTH: And who are you? (he pulls the Santa's beard down) SANTA JEFF: I'm Jeff Mantell. What happened to Kris? BOOTH: Kris was murdered. (Santa Jeff turns to the other Santa's) SANTA JEFF: Everybody! The dead Santa on the news? It was Kris. (There are rumbles of disbelief from the other Santa's as they get up and gather around him and Booth & Brennan.) BOOTH: What can you tell me about Kris? SANTA JEFF: Kris made a guy proud to wear the uniform. Random Santa: Sure did. DALE: That's the truth. SANTA FRED: Was - was Kris murdered? BOOTH: Um, all the Santa's just need to take a step back. SANTA FRED: Any help you need guy, any - anything at all. BRENNAN: Why are you limping? SANTA FRED: Oh, my shins. You wanna see them (he starts to lean down to pull up his pant leg) BRENNAN: No- why would I want to see your shins? SANTA FRED: Well, Children get to a certain age and they think it's hilarious to kick Santa in the shins. (The other Santa's mumble in agreement) BOOTH: Alright, I'd like to talk to anyone who knew Kris personally. SANTA JEFF: I only met Kris at the diner down the street a couple of weeks ago. BOOTH: Okay. Whoever smells like the wet sweater really needs to take a step back. SANTA JEFF: I was out of work, late on my alimony and the man saved me. He got me this job. SANTA LARRY: Sad buy familiar tale with Kris. DALE: Typical Kris, always looking to help out. RANDOM SANTA: He was a saint. BOOTH: Anybody know of any trouble- BRENNAN: Arguments.. BOOTH: Differences of opinion. SANTA JEFF: I can't even imagine that. SANTA FRED: The man was truly, sincerely, jolly. BOOTH: We couldn't find a record of his bank account. DALE: Oh, well I - I cashed Kris's checks. BRENNAN: What would Mr. Kringle do during the three other seasons? DALE: Well, Kris was my only full time temp Santa. You know, sometimes for the odd ad campaigns who needed a Santa: Car dealerships, Ice Cream Parlors. SANTA FRED: Sometimes hospitals had "Christmas in July". DALE: Ironically, the only night Kris wouldn't work was Christmas Eve. SANTA LARRY: His Special night. SANTA JEFF: His night to deliver toys and goodies around the world. DALE: (chuckles) We'd always tease him about that. SANTA FRED: He never denied it. (All the Santa's chuckle. Booth looks at Brennan, with an expression of disbelief.) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hodgins desk) HODGINS: Maggots in dead Santa's collar - fed on high concentrations of non-sulfated chondroitin glycosaminal glycans and antecedal neuraminic acid. CAM: This is why Booth hates talking to you. HODGINS: It's the regurgitated saliva of male Aerodramus fuciphagus. Wait. Booth hates talking to me? CAM: Not you specifically, lab people. What's, uh, Aerodramus fuciphagus? HODGINS: Main ingredient in bird's nest soup. It's a rare Chinese delicacy, made from the nest of swiftlets. It's more like bird spit soup if you ask me. CAM: So our victim was in China? HODGINS: I'm thinking China TOWN - is more likely - but I also found similar traces of the same stuff on the back of Santa's pants. Mostly on the rear end. CAM: He sat in it. HODGINS: Yeah. Let's hope that's how that got there. CAM: How common is this dish? HODGINS: A single kilogram of White swiflet nest, costs two grand. CAM: Let's see who makes it here in DC. HODGINS: Done and done. (Cut to: Booth's car. Brennan is looking at her phone.) BOOTH: These people all seem pretty upset to have lost one of their own. I mean, they keep referring to the uniform like soldiers or cops. BRENNAN: (reading a text message) According to Hodgins, Kris Kringle was probably killed in or near a restaurant called, Cum Jeung Huen, up on Chinatown. BOOTH: Oh, come on. How did he figure that out? BRENNAN: Do you really want to know? BOOTH: You tell me. BRENNAN: No, you don't. BOOTH: I'm gonna trust you on that. BRENNAN: If you don't mind, I have a meeting with Caroline Julian at your office in ten minutes. BOOTH: Is this about the trailer for your dad's Christmas? BRENNAN: You think she'll help? BOOTH: Well, you know. Caroline's a lawyer, she'll help but she'll ask you to do something in return. BRENNAN: That's fair. BOOTH: Yeah, hold that thought. (Cut to: FBI. Brennan and Caroline are in the kitchen area. Caroline is getting a cup of coffee.) CAROLINE: I thought you were going to Brazil for Christmas. BRENNAN: Peru. CAROLINE: Whatever. South of the equator. Doin' bone things with bone people. (She motions for Brennan to grab her a stirrer as they start to head towards the elevator.) BRENNAN: I check with the at the jail and for my father to get the conjugal trailer, the prosecutor in charge of his case has to submit a written recommendation. CAROLINE: Uh, huh. BRENNAN: You're the prosecutor in charge of his case. CAROLINE: I'm aware of that. Thank you, Dr. Brennan. (She takes a sip of coffee and realizes it's missing something, so she heads back towards the kitchen again) BRENNAN: So, will you? CAROLINE: You going to Brazil and all, what's the use of Max being in that conjugal trailer all by himself. BRENNAN: Well, I'm trying to persuade my brother to celebrate Christmas with his family in there too. (They arrive back in the kitchen) CAROLINE: A Yule tide gathering of the Brennan criminal element. (she adds sugar to her coffee) What do you mean, 'trying'. BRENNAN: Russ doesn't want his step-daughters to know that he's in jail. CAROLINE: How do you persuade them otherwise if they're actually having Christmas in the jail. (They had back towards the elevators again) BRENNAN: One other thing. The Warden says no Christmas Tree. CAROLINE: That's right. Three years ago, somebody made a shiv out of the star. Now no trees or ornaments of any kind. BRENNAN: Isn't' that a little dreary. CAROLINE: Hey. Don't kill people, don't get sent to prison, have a Christmas pageant in your own home every year. (Brennan presses the button for the elevator) BRENNAN: So, will you? CAROLINE: (takes a sip of her coffee and realizes that it still tastes bad) Oh. (she turns around and heads towards the kitchen yet again) I will. BRENNAN: You will? Thank you. CAROLINE: On one condition. BRENNAN: Booth said you'd say that. CAROLINE: Did he say I'd ask you to kiss him? BRENNAN: (laughs) No. (then realizing that maybe she isn't kidding) Well, are you? CAROLINE: No cheeks. No noses. Right on the lips. BRENNAN: People kiss people on the nose? CAROLINE: I want you to kiss him - under some mistletoe. (She puts her coffee cup in the microwave to heat it up) BRENNAN: (laughs nervously) Kiss Booth? CAROLINE: That's right, cherie. BRENNAN: Why? CAROLINE: Because it will amuse me. BRENNAN: Why? CAROLINE: Because you're all "Dr. Brennan" and "Special Agent Seeley Booth" and it's Christmas and I have a puckish side that will not be denied. BRENNAN: Puckish? CAROLINE: What's the matter? You don't think I can be puckish? BRENNAN: Well, I never thought about it until now. (Caroline takes her coffee out of the microwave and starts heading out to the elevator, again.) CAROLINE: You want me to write that letter, you kiss Booth, on the lips, for no less than - (counting on her fingers) one steamboat, two steamboats... five steamboats. BRENNAN: That's blackmail. CAROLINE: That's correct. BRENNAN: That's unethical. CAROLINE: That's the deal, take it or leave it. BRENNAN: What about a tree? CAROLINE: No Christmas tree. No way. Not even if you squeeze his buttocks. (They arrive back at the elevator and Brennan pushes the button again.) BRENNAN: Well, I don't know. Can I just - take you out to dinner sometime? CAROLINE: You kiss Seeley Booth, on the lips, and I'll make sure your daddy has his dream Christmas - no tree mind you - but otherwise as good as an accused murder can expect. (She takes a sip of coffee and realizes it's still terrible and hands it to Brennan before getting into the elevator. Leaving Brennan to contemplate her offer.) [SCENE_BREAK] ACT III (Cut to: Alley behind the Chinese restaurant. Booth is talking to one of the workers.) BOOTH: (holding up a picture of Kris Kringle in a Santa suit) Look, you ever see this man before? CHINESE WAITER: Santa Claus? BOOTH: No...this isn't actually Santa Claus. The guy that's wearing the Santa outfit in this picture - have you ever seen him? CHINESE WAITER: Can I see your ID again please? (Starts to pull out his ID as Hodgins appears, coming out of the dumpster.) HODGINS: Booth. BOOTH: What? HODGINS: Your kid like roaches? (he holds up a roach) Gromphadorhina, man. Hissing roach. Hey, grab me this container? This is a great pet, man. (Booth picks up the contain and Hodgins puts the roach in.) Perfect Christmas gift.. BOOTH: What, no. Did you find the Bird's Nest maggots yet? HODGINS: No. Not yet, I'm still looking. (he goes back down into the dumpster.) CHINESE WAITER: Okay, I'm calling the cops. BOOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pal. Hey, I am the cops, alright. Any, uh, fights out here back here in the alley in the past four days? CHINESE WAITER: No, I - I don't come out here since I quit smoking. It stinks. HODGINS: (from inside the dumpster) It's the cycle of life, my friend. Quite beautiful if you get into it. BOOTH: (laughs) Is it. (then, to the waiter) Okay, you go back inside but tell the rest of your staff I'll be in in a few minutes to ask them some questions. (The Chinese waiter mutters something in Chinese) BOOTH: (holding up the roach in the jar) Hey pal, you better hope I don't report this to the health department. HODGINS: (from inside the dumpster) Paydirt! (he comes out of the dumpster with a Chinese food container) Fannia, Musca and Phoridae and these are the exact maggots I found on Kringle's suit. This means this is where he was killed. BOOTH: So if here was killed here.. then he was probably (he goes to the other side of the alley) - dragged over here. To this grate (he lifts the grate) and dumped down this sewer. HODGINS: (from inside the dumpster) An ignominious end for for Father Christmas, huh.....Whoa. BOOTH: Whoa, what? (Hodgins emerges from the dumpster again, holding 3 wallets) HODGINS: Whew. They were near the bottom. No cash. Just ID's and credit. BOOTH: Probably dumped there by pick pockets. HODGINS: Hey, you found cash in Kringle's apartment, right? BOOTH: Right. HODGINS: Maybe he picked one pocket too many. (Booth holds out an evidence bag and Hodgins places the wallets into it) BOOTH: Mhm. Well, we're gonna find out the owners and, uh, see if they know any Santa pick pockets. (Booth starts backing away from the dumpster, down the alley) HODGINS: Booth. BOOTH: Yeah. HODGINS: Ya help me outta here? BOOTH: (continues walking) See ya later. HODGINS: Booth! Booth. Oh come - (Cut to: Royal Diner. Booth is sitting at a table with Parker. Brennan is seated at the counter.) BOOTH: Vermont is gonna be great, buddy. Snowboarding - just like when we went to Liberty. PARKER: Mom says it's better than Liberty. BOOTH: Well, she's right. PARKER: Can't you come? BOOTH: Parker.... PARKER: If you tell mom that I don't wanna go, then we could spend Christmas together, like we always do. (Brennan looks back at the two of them, Booth looks back.) BOOTH: It's not gonna happen this year, buddy. When you get back, me and you will have our own Christmas - just the two of us. PARKER: Without Captain Fantastic. BOOTH: You know, we shouldn't call Brent, Captain Fantastic anymore. PARKER: Why? You do. BOOTH: Well, I won't anymore. PARKER: But it's funny. BOOTH: No. It's disrespectful and if your mom likes someone, then we should respect that and like them too. BRENNAN: (interjecting) Is that true? PARKER: You like Brent? BOOTH: Yeah, I do... BRENNAN: Wow. BOOTH: Bones! PARKER: Are you gonna be all alone at Christmas? BOOTH: Me? Nah, I'm not gonna be alone. I'll be with Bones and all of our friends. BRENNAN: I'm going to Peru. BOOTH: See, we're all going to Peru. PARKER: You're having Christmas in Africa? BRENNAN: No, actually Peru is- BOOTH: Is Africa. Isn't that right, Bones? Okay. I'm gonna be just fine so come on. Go wash up before your mom gets here to pick you up, alright? Come here, buddy. (Parker hugs Booth) PARKER: I love you. (Brennan looks at Booth in disbelief.) BOOTH: I love you too buddy. Go ahead. BRENNAN: You liked A LOT to him. BOOTH: It's the magic of Christmas, Bones. (Cut to: FBI - Interrogation Room. Marty Moussa, a mall security guard, is seated at the table. Brennan is watching from the observation room. Booth enters) BOOTH: So. You wanna tell me what happened? MARTY: I just come out of the check cashing place and was off to do some Christmas shopping.. BOOTH: When you were mugged by Santa. MARTY: Not mugged. It was just a bump as I was walking out of the place. I said excuse me, he ho, ho, ho'd and we went our separate ways. BOOTH: So when did you realize your wallet was missing? MARTY: An hour later, at the Price Co. I'm in the check out line, I'm going to pay and it's gone. BOOTH: Naturally, you went back the next day and you beat the crap out of him. MARTY: I asked for my wallet back. Santa plays all dumb and then it got physical. It was $900, man. BOOTH: Mr. Moussa, there are hundreds of Santa's in the DC area this time of year. MARTY: Come on. You and I are trained law enforcement officers. I got the right guy. BOOTH: I mean, if it was him, he definitely deserved a beating. MARTY: It was him. And he got off lucky because of my self control. This guy. He ruined Christmas. BOOTH: Egyptians, they celebrate Christmas? MARTY: I am not Muslim, Agent Booth. I am Coptic. Me, my wife, my children. We all celebrate Christmas..except for maybe not this year because this guy took my money. BOOTH: And what did you do to him? MARTY: Hit him. I'm not proud of that. BOOTH: No pushing, no tussling? MARTY: (shakes his head no.) Just bumped him one in the schnoz. That's it. BOOTH: You didn't roll around in the alley? MARTY: What alley? We were in front of a big, box store. BOOTH: So you didn't mean to kill him. You just shoved him down that manhole. MARTY: I - I knocked him down. The people - they don't know why, they don't understand. They looking - maybe they think I'm terrorist - so I get out of there. BOOTH: Hmm. Right. MARTY: Do I need a lawyer? ACT IV (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Brennan is in her office hanging mistletoe when Booth arrives.) BOOTH: Bones. Pay Pass Check Cashing confirms cashing Moussa's paycheck. The teller gave him $900. All crisp new 50's. BRENNAN: (putting string on the mistletoe) And Kringle had new $50's in his dresser. BOOTH: Yup and the serial numbers match. BRENNAN: Suggesting Kringle is our pick pocket. BOOTH: Mhm. So we're getting a warrant to analyze Moussa's clothing. (Brennan stands on a chair and attaches the mistletoe to the ceiling) If there's any Bird Soup goop on them, we'll know he's our killer...What is with the mistletoe? BRENNAN: (sighs nervously while getting down off the chair.) I was gonna talk to you about this. Caroline wants us to kiss under the mistletoe. BOOTH: What?! BRENNAN: It's the only way she'll make Christmas for my family. BOOTH: What? By having us kiss? BRENNAN: Yes. BOOTH: Why? BRENNAN: Because she's feeling puckish. BOOTH: Puckish? What's that mean? BRENNAN: Listen, Booth! She's going to be here any second. Do you want some gum? BOOTH: No, my breath is just fine. Alright, look. I'll have a - talk with Caroline. BRENNAN: No. BOOTH: No? BRENNAN: I'm only telling you out of professional courtesy. BOOTH: What? BRENNAN: So that you won't be surprised. BOOTH: Yeah, when you say kiss, you mean like kiss-kiss, like on both cheeks. BRENNAN: No, the lips. Like brother and sister or colleagues. French people meeting on the street. BOOTH: Caroline's feeling puckish, huh? BRENNAN: It means playful and impish. (Caroline enters) CAROLINE: (to Booth) Congratulations. I hear you have a suspect in the Santa slaying. BOOTH: Yeah. Well, it looks like the Easter Bunny has nothing to worry about. BRENNAN: Did you talk to the judge about the trailer? CAROLINE: Yes, I did. What about (she motions towards Booth) your end? (Brennan points at the mistletoe.) CAROLINE: Well, look at that. Mistletoe. (Booth starts to protest) You take a step to your right and you'll be right under the cute little sprig. (Caroline watches them and raises an eyebrow, waiting for Brennan to follow through on her end of the deal. Booth incoherently tries to protest but Brennan doesn't give him much time before she leans in and kisses him, grabbing the lapels on his jacket. Caroline continues watching them but the kiss lasts longer and becomes more passionate than she had expected. When Brennan pulls back, they both appear to have been affect more than they thought as well. ) BRENNAN: (trying to regain her composure) Was that enough steamboats? CAROLINE: (flabbergasted) Plenty. A whole flotilla. BOOTH: I don't know what that means, but, um, Merry Christmas. BRENNAN: It was like - kissing my brother. CAROLINE: You sure must like your brother. BOOTH: She does. BRENNAN: I do. BOOTH: She does. CAROLINE: The trailers all arranged. You're good to go, cherie. Merry Christmas. (She leaves, still flabbergasted. Booth and Brennan are still standing in the same place, not really able to look each other in the eye, quite yet.) BRENNAN: I'm sure she feels really foolish right now. BOOTH: Yeah. (awkward pause as they sneak a look at each other) Well, hey. I, um, I really should - I should get back and - see if, uh, the forensic guy has got - anything yet on Moussa's clothes- BRENNAN: That's a good idea. Yeah, I got - stuff - to do too. Yeah. BOOTH: Yeah. BRENNAN: That - for - with bones. BOOTH: (starts chewing gum) I - I understand completely. (He stops when he realizes he's chewing and takes the gum out of his mouth) Thanks for the gum. (He puts it back in his mouth and leaves) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Hodgins desk.) ANGELA: What are ya doing? HODGINS: Hey. Some metallic flakes embedded in the bone. Trying to help Zack determine what kind of weapon was used. ANGELA: You know, this is our first Christmas as a couple. HODGINS: Aww. Too bad Santa's dead. ANGELA: I thought that we could make Christmas decorations for our tree. Is that too corny? It's what my family did when I was little. HODGINS: Oh. ANGELA: And I always thought, you know, when I had my own family that - I'd carry on the tradition. HODGINS: Are two people a family? ANGELA: Isn't that how every family starts? HODGINS: Then I think us making decorations is just corny enough. (He leans in and kisses her on the cheek) (Cut to: Royal Diner - Night. Booth and Brennan are sitting, talking to Sweets, who is wearing an elf hat with huge ears.) SWEETS: I don't understand. Has there been some kind of crisis? BRENNAN: Yes. I have a crisis. BOOTH: Bones, it was just mistletoe. BRENNAN: (in a half whisper to Booth) Not the kiss. That was nothing. SWEETS: (surprised.) You kissed? BOOTH: Mistletoe. BRENNAN: That's not the crisis. SWEETS: Was there tongue? BOOTH: Alright, you know what? Get your own sx life, alright Sweets. BRENNAN: Well, that has nothing to do with sx. BOOTH: Nothing. BRENNAN: No. BOOTH: There was no se- it was - mistletoe. BRENNAN: Totally s*x less. SWEETS: I'm all ears. (Brennan raises her eyebrow) BOOTH: Just take your hat off there. (Sweets removes his hat.) BRENNAN: Booth, who is a very honest person, says that at this time of year, deception is necessary for the happiness of little children. BOOTH: Now, I'm being misquoted. SWEETS: Booth is absolutely right. BOOTH: She got the gist. SWEETS: Yeah, there's a fictional element to Christmas. BRENNAN: You mean the whole 'birth of a Savior' rigmarole? BOOTH: It is NOT rigmarole. SWEETS: No. No. BRENNAN: How do you know? SWEETS: Dr. Brennan. It's the - the - uh, feeling of Christmas. What people call the Christmas spirit? It's a kind of dream or hope that we carry with us from childhood. But as adults- BOOTH: Are you including you in that? SWEETS: (ignoring Booth) As adults, we're imbued by the pragmatic routines of life, which makes it difficult for us to regard anything with child like wonder. But, you know, it's alright for us to try. We put on silly hats and drape trees with sparkly lights and wrap gifts in garish paper and that's good for us. It's not only alright to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy - it's our responsibility. BRENNAN: (finally understanding) Okay. BOOTH: Okay? BRENNAN: I found that very helpful. BOOTH: (scoffs) What do you think I've been saying for the past four days? (Cut to: Prison - Visitors room -Brennan is visiting again with Russ.) RUSS: You're gonna help me lie to the girls? BRENNAN: Well, apparently, it's not morally wrong to lie at Christmas. RUSS: What if they know I'm lying. BRENNAN: Well, apparently, sometimes - lying is a kind of gift. I'm hazy on the rules, but the idea is even if they know you're lying - they know you're doing it out of love. RUSS: Where are you getting this? Because I'm in jail, and I'm getting better advice. BRENNAN: Look, Russ. We have a plan. I bring you some civilian clothes, the girls think you popped in from Addis Ababa- RUSS: Addis Ababa? BRENNAN: Well, what did you and Amy tell them? RUSS: We said I went to Burma. BRENNAN: Burma? RUSS: Who cares where we chose? Burma's on the other side of the world. BRENNAN: Russ! Burma doesn't even exist anymore! RUSS: What happened to it? BRENNAN: Well, It became Myanmar. There's another problem with the trailer. No Christmas tree. RUSS: Why? BRENNAN: Shank material. Is it important? RUSS: Christmas? With no tree? It's a disaster. Forget it. BRENNAN: They're young, Russ. They believe in Santa Claus. They believe in you because you love them and they'll sit on your lap and they'll open their presents and they'll believe in you and Burma, and - and maybe they won't notice that there's no tree. Look, Amy will be there. Dad will be there. The girls will be there. RUSS: And you. BRENNAN: I was going to, but we're not the only people getting the trailer and I thought it would be in the afternoon, but now it's Christmas Eve and I gotta be on that plane. RUSS: To Peru. BRENNAN: Yeah. RUSS: Tempe. Dad wants us all. I mean, you're one of us. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Platform.) CAM: You found what killed Kris Kringle? HODGINS: We know what it was made of. ZACK: And we know that shape. (They pull of the fracture on the screen) CAM: Something crescent shaped and brass. ZACK: I couldn't find anything this shape, but by making a slight paradigm shift - HODGINS: Paradigm shift was my idea. ZACK: And slightly change the angle- CAM: A circle, not a crescent. ZACK: I believe the mark left on left on Kris Kringle's skull was the result of being stuck with a circular object, approximately 15cm in diameter. HODGINS: 6 inches. CAM: A bell. A brass bell. ZACK: Meaning he was probably attacked by another Santa. (Cut to: Temp Time Employment Agency. All the Santa's are gathered.) DALE: Everybody have your bells? (The Santa's all ring their bells in unison.) BOOTH: Alright, alright. Enough! Stop! (They all stop ringing the bells) You can tell the elves they can go now. DALE: Elves, go for coffee. RANDOM ELF #1: See you later. RANDOM ELF #2: Alright you heard him. RANDOM ELF #3: Excuse me! Watch it. DALE: What's the use of elves without Santa. BRENNAN: Those bells are all the same. DALE: Yeah, I buy 'em in bulk. I sell them to the Santa's for cost. BOOTH: That Kris's idea? DALE: Yeah, how did you know? BOOTH: Just getting a feel for the guy. Listen, we have a warrant here to inspect your bells. SANTA LARRY: Inspect our what? SANTA JEFF: Bells, Larry. SANTA FRED: Uh, why? BRENNAN: Agent Booth and I are going to swab each of your bells with a cotton ball soaked in phenothalene. SANTA LARRY: Is it gonna sting? SANTA CHUNG: Bells, Larry. She said "bells". DALE: You need a hearing aid, Larry. SANTA FRED: Why are you antisepticizing our bells? (They get to Santa Jeff and he lowers his bell) BOOTH: Whoa. Ho, ho, ho. Steady there Santa. SANTA JEFF: Why do you need a warrant to disinfect a bell? BOOTH: What's the matter there, Santa? SANTA JEFF: They're looking for something and they're not telling us. DALE: Look, I read the warrant. It's the law. (The other Santa's start to get on Santa Jeff to let Brennan swab the bell) BRENNAN: Come on, give us your bell. SANTA JEFF: No. BOOTH: Listen, buddy. I'm not gonna see my son for Christmas this year. So I'm a little annoyed with Christmas and everything that comes along with it, so give the lady the bell. RANDOM SANTAS: Give him a break. Give them the bell. Come on. Go ahead. (He puts up his bell) BOOTH: Thank you. BRENNAN: The brass plating on this bells chipped. (Brennan swabs the bell and it comes up positive for blood) BOOTH: Oh, ho. Look at that. Okay, Santa. You're under arrest for murder. SANTA JEFF: What? BRENNAN: This bell, is the weapon that killed Kris Kringle. SANTA JEFF: No. No, no, no. I didn't kill Kris. Come one guys! We switch bells all the time. DALE: Now that's true. SANTA LARRY: All, all of our bells are identical, you know. We put one down and then we just pick up another. BOOTH: Okay, just hold on to your bells there for a second. (to Brennan) Now, any - any ideas? BRENNAN: No. BOOTH: Come on. Think, Bones. Paint the picture. It's gotta be one of these guys. I mean half of these guys owe Kringle the money. BRENNAN: One of them's a pick pocket. BOOTH: Ah, gets money from the Egyptian. SANTA LARRY: Look, eh, can we go? BOOTH: Cool your jets, Santa. Go have a cookie and some eggnog. (back to Brennan) Kringle gets suspicious, he catches the pick pocketer dumping the wallet in the dumpster. Confronts him. BRENNAN: We have to sniff their behinds. BOOTH: We have to sniff - you lost me there. BRENNAN: (yelling, at the Santa's) Alright, everybody up against the wall! (The Santa's start to mumble. There IS no space for them up against the wall) BRENNAN: Or, okay. Put your hands on the table. BOOTH: First of all, that's my job and second, why? BRENNAN: They fought. They rolled around through the Birds Nest Soup goop. BOOTH: Riiight. BRENNAN: Yeah. BOOTH: Good thinking. BRENNAN: Thank you. BOOTH: That's good, except for the sniffing their butts thing. (They had back to the line of Santa's) BRENNAN: Okay, you start over there. I'll start here. DALE: Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're gonna sniff my guys? (Brennan starts sniffing the Santa's rear ends) BOOTH: Ugh. (He leans down and sniffs one of the Santa's) Geez. Alright, this is officially the worst Christmas ever. (They both continue down the line, sniffing each Santa. Right before they get to Santa Jeff, he turns around.) SANTA JEFF: Don't you need a warrant for this? BOOTH: Hey, pal. Why don't you just be quiet. BRENNAN: Turn around. BOOTH: Yeah. (They both lean down and sniff his behind. Then in unison-) BOOTH: Bird's Nest Soup. BRENNAN: Bird's Nest Soup. DALE: It's Jeff! He killed Kris! (SANTA JEFF makes a run for it, but doesn't get very far as the rest of the Santa's pile on top of him) BRENNAN: Whoa. Whoa! Aren't you gonna pull them off? BOOTH: Fine. Watch this. (he grabs the bell and starts ringing it.) Hey! How you like it now, Santa's! BRENNAN: (to the Santa's) Get off of him. Everybody off! BOOTH: On your feet, you're under arrest. Let's go. SANTA LARRY: That man is a disgrace to his uniform! (Santa Larry starts singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". All the other Santa's begin to join in, pointing at Santa Jeff - all of a sudden, the song has become a threat. Brennan and Booth exchange looks. These guys are amusing but a little scary.) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Conference Area - Night. The music has morphed into the Peggy Lee version of the song. Brennan, Hodgins, Angela, Zack and Cam are all sitting around exchanging gifts and laughing.) (Cut to: Conjugal Visit Trailer - Night. Max is lead into to the trailer by a guard, who removes his handcuffs. Max looks around, it's bleak. Nothing about it says Christmas.) (Cut to: FBI - Conference Room. Marty Moussa is standing by the table as Booth enters, handing him an envelope that contains the $900 that was stolen from him. He gives Booth a hug to show his gratitude.) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Conference Area - Night. Brennan, Hodgins, Angela, Zack and Cam are all sitting on the couch - smiling at the camera - taking a group picture. ) (Cut to: Trailer - Max is seated on the bed when the door opens and Amy arrives with Emma, Hayley with bags and presents in hand. Max stands up to greet them. This is the first time he's is meeting them.) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Conference Area - Night. Everyone is hugging and kissing each other goodbye.) (Cut to: FBI - Booth's Office. Booth is sitting at his desk when a cop appears in his doorway with Parker. He runs to his dad and gives him a big hug) (Cut to: Trailer - Emma takes out a banner that says "MERRY CHRISTMAS" and Max uses gum to hang it up. The girls climb on the couch to help him hang it.) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Conference Area. Everyone is now gone, except for Brennan. She picks up her bag , pulls out her tickets and passport and contemplates whether or not she should go to Peru.) (Cut to: FBI - Booth's Office. Booth is on the phone with Rebecca and Parker is sitting on his lap, playing with his credentials.) BOOTH: (into the phone.) He's fine, Rebecca. No. Just listen. I will get him back to you in time, tomorrow, before you leave for Vermont. PARKER: I hate Vermont. BOOTH: No, I didn't tell him to say that. (he pauses) He didn't have to find the FBI. He just - went up to a cop on the street, told him he was lost and said that his dad works at the FBI. (Booth hugs Parker and they smile at each other) (Cut to: Trailer - The girls and Max are hanging another banner when Russ shows up - wearing civilian clothes. Amy runs over to him and tucks his tag into his shirt. When the girls realize he's there, they run over and hug him. The door opens again, and Brennan walks in. She decided to come have Christmas with her family after all. Her dad smiles. He got the only Christmas present he wanted - Christmas with his family again.) (Cut to: FBI - Booth's Office. Booth is helping his son put his jacket on.) BOOTH: Come on. In you go. That's it. Okay, buddy, here's the deal We get to spend Christmas day together, then I gotta take you to Vermont. Understand? PARKER: Okay. Will you miss Africa? BOOTH: Africa? No. I rather spend time with you. (he gives Parker a hug) PARKER: Do we got a tree? BOOTH: We got two trees! PARKER: Two trees? BOOTH: Two! (they touch knuckles) PARKER: Why? BOOTH: Come on. I'll show you. Come on. (They leave the office) (Cut to: Trailer. Russ, Amy & the girls are playing with their gifts as Brennan looks on from the couch.) MAX: Here. (he sits next to Brennan) I want you to try this, honey. BRENNAN: (nods towards Russ, Amy & the girls) Are they having fun? MAX: (he hands her a cup) What are you talking about? Of course they are. And by the way, this is the best Christmas that I've had in sixteen years. BRENNAN: Me too. (Brennan's phone rings. She takes a sip from the cup as she answers it. Apparently, it doesn't taste all that good and her face reflects it.) BRENNAN: (disgusted) Oh my god. BOOTH: (on the phone) What's wrong? BRENNAN: (still on the phone but to her father) What is this? MAX: Just a little good cheer I made under the mattress. BRENNAN: Ugh. (then into phone) Booth? BOOTH: Bones, hey! Good news. Turns out I got Parker for Christmas after all. BRENNAN: Christmas magic, right? BOOTH: Hey, so we figured we call and uh, wish you a little, uh, Yuletide cheer. (He puts the phone to Parkers ear) PARKER: (into the phone) Merry Christmas, Bones! BRENNAN: Thanks, Parker! MAX: Hey, if that's Booth you wish him Merry Christmas from me, will ya? BRENNAN: (into phone) My dad says "Merry Christmas". BOOTH: Hey, listen, Bones - uh - I got a little something for ya. BRENNAN: Oh, I got you something too. We can, uh, exchange gifts in a couple days. BOOTH: Go to the window and open up the blinds, now. BRENNAN: What? (Brennan goes to the window and opens the blinds. She sees Booth & Parker, standing by Booth's car, with a Christmas Tree - all lit up. They wave at her and she waves back.) BRENNAN: (to her family) Hey! Everybody, it looks like we got our tree, after all. EMMA: What? A tree? HAYLEY: Oh my gosh. So exciting! PARKER: (waves) Merry Christmas! BRENNAN:(into the phone) I love my gift, Booth. BOOTH:(into the phone) Merry Christmas, Bones. (In the back ground you hear Emma and Hayley exclaim "This is the best Christmas ever!")	Plan: A: Three days before; Q: How close to Christmas is the Santa Claus imposter's death? A: Brennan; Q: Who decides to spend Christmas with her father, brother and his family? A: a Santa Claus impostor; Q: Whose body was found in a sewer near a mall? A: The team; Q: Who discovers the man's legal name was Kristopher Kringle? A: his profession; Q: What was Kristopher Kringle highly regarded in? A: a local "Rent-A-Santa" business; Q: What was Kristopher Kringle employed by? A: a mistletoe; Q: What do Brennan and Booth find themselves under? Summary: Three days before Christmas, Booth, Brennan and their team are sent to investigate the death of a Santa Claus impostor after his body was discovered in the sewer near a mall. The team discovers the man's legal name was Kristopher Kringle and was highly regarded in his profession while he worked for a local "Rent-A-Santa" business. Meanwhile, Brennan and Booth find themselves under a mistletoe, and Brennan decides to spend Christmas with her father, brother and his family.
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY COMMUNITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. EMPTY LOT - COMMUNITY -- NIGHT] (Brass and Sofia stand around a dead body while Grissom crouches down to examine it closer.) Brass: So, the gang unit says our D.B. is a sixteen-year-old Tyson Plummer. Sofia Curtis: How many holes in the victim? Grissom: I count four. Sofia Curtis: Eleven shell casings. Shooter emptied the gun -- so he was moving and shooting. Only hit the vic four times. Grissom: She talks to herself. Brass: Hey, it works for me. Sofia Curtis: Bullets that missed hit the outside building wall. (She turns and looks back at the gun holes in the outside building wall.) Kid 1: (o.s.) Hey, man, what ya doing in my back alley! (Greg is standing on the side mapping the area when the kid's shouts draw his attention. On the sidewalk, he sees two kids playing near the trash. One kid holds out his hand as if holding a gun at the other kid.) KIDN 1: Bang, bang, bang, bang. Kid 2: Man, you know Andre didn't cap him like that. (Greg ducks under the crime scene tape and makes his way toward the two kids who continue arguing.) Kid 1: Did too. Kid 2: Did not! Kid 1: Did too! Kid 2: How you gonna tell me? Kid 1: I saw him ... Greg: Hey, guys, can I talk to you for a sec? Kid 2: Run! (The two kids turn, see Greg and run. Greg continues to walk slowly toward them.) Greg: I just want to ask you a few questions. (The older kid turns and bumps into the trash bin. He falls, scrambles to his feet and runs. Greg doesn't chase after them.) Kid 2: Yo man! Wait up! (The kids disappear down the block. Greg turns and sees something disturbing. He kneels down to get a better look at a dead body in a trash bin.) (The dead child is rail thin and shoved into the trash bin.) (Greg dials his phone.) Greg: (to phone) Grissom ... Grissom: (from phone) Go ahead, Greg. Greg: (to phone) We got a young male D.B. by the dumpster. Grissom: (to phone) I'll be right there. (Grissom glances at Brass. He walks over to the dumpster where Greg is standing.) (At the crime scene tape surrounding the empty lot, a young man ducks under it. The officer guarding the tape tries to stop him.) Officer: Hey, hey! (He knocks the officer's hands away.) Leo Plummer: Get your damn hands off me! (Sofia turns around to look at the disturbance. Brass approaches the officer and Leo Plummer.) Brass: Whoa, whoa. I can't let you touch him. What's your name? (The young man gets a look at the dead body on the ground and he gasps.) Leo Plummer: I'm Plummer. Leo. That's my brother right there. They didn't have to do him like that, Dawg. Brass: I know you know who did this, Leo. Leo Plummer: Ain't your problem, man. Whoever did this is gonna get got. Brass: Oh, no, don't say stuff like that. Because only two things can happen: You in shackles or you on a slab. So, let's break the odds this time. What do you say? Leo Plummer: You done with me, Bacon? 'Cause I got family to go bury. (Leo turns and heads back to the crime scene tape. Brass turns and heads back to the body.) Brass: Yeah. (Near the tape, there's a disturbance as voices rise.) (Camera whirls around and we see another young man running through the crowd toward Leo Plummer. He pulls out a gun and fires at Leo Plummer's back. Leo is shot point blank several times in the back.) (Grissom is examining the body and is startled by the gunshots. He looks up.) (Greg moves to take cover behind the dumpster.) (A woman screams as the gunshots end. The young man with the gun takes off running. The crowd disburses.) Officer: This is Lincoln three. We've got a four-fifteen-A on scene. (Grissom watches as Sofia takes off running after the suspect alongside several other officers.) (Grissom looks at Greg.) Grissom: You okay? Greg: Hell no, I'm not okay. Who the hell's shooting at us? Grissom: I don't know, but I think our single just turned into a triple. (Grissom stands up and heads for the newest body at the scene.) SMASH CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COMMUNITY -- DAY] (Sara walks up to David Phillips and Greg around the body of the kid in the rubber trash bin. Greg snaps photos as David checks the kid out.) (In the background, we hear the indistinct police radio transmissions.) (Sara slows down and puts her kit on the sidewalk as she kneels in front of the body.) Greg: Somebody tried to just throw him out with the trash. Sara: If the dumpster wasn't full he would've ended up at the landfill. David Phillips: He hasn't been dead long. He's just coming out of rigor, so I'd say less than twenty-four hours. Sara: He wasn't in the box long enough to mummify, but the kid looks like an ad for hunger relief. Okay, let's, um, transport him in situ. (Sara turns and looks at Greg.) Sara: Be very careful moving the body. You okay? Greg: Yeah. Fine. (Off to the side, two officers struggle with a man in handcuffs.) Officer: Come on, let's go. Man: (o.s.) Rodney King, yo! Rodney King. Yo! Y'all see this? That's Rodney King, Dawg! Let me go, Dawg! Let me go, man! (The two officers lead the man in handcuffs to the car and put him in the backseat.) (Sofia walks back toward Grissom and Brass.) Man: Get off me, man! That's Rodney King, Dawg! Let me ... Get off! Get off me! Get off! Get off me! Bitches! We call it brutality! (The car door slams shut.) Brass: So, uh ... you think these concerned citizens are taping the capture of a vicious killer? (Brass points back to the observers behind the crime scene tape with their camcorders out. The coroners lift up the gurney with the wrapped body on it.) Grissom: If they're taping now, maybe they caught that second shooting on video. Maybe you could collect the cameras. (Brass looks at Sofia and taps his own temple. He smiles and chuckles as he leaves. Grissom turns and looks at Sofia.) Brass: I love this guy. Grissom: It says "forensics" on our jacket. Sofia Curtis: I'm aware of that. Grissom: We had plenty of cops chasing the suspect. Sofia Curtis: I wasn't chasing the suspect. I was chasing the evidence. I knew the idiot was likely to dump the gun. (She takes out the bagged gun and hands it to Grissom.) Sofia Curtis: All we have to do is ballistics-match the weapon to both victims. Case closed. (Grissom takes the gun and looks at Sofia.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. PRISON -- DAY] (The door buzzes and opens for Warrick and Nick.) Warrick: Hey. Nick: Hey, man. Det. Vartann: (o.s.) What's up? Nick: Thanks. (They walk through the door and meet with Det. Vartann.) Det. Vartann: Suspects wait in central holding to be processed and transferred to jail. They assaulted the officers with feces and then the cops went in. Nick: Great. Warrick: To bust some heads. (The closer they get, the smellier it gets. On the floor are the brown feces stains.) Nick: Hoo ... so, you've got a Samuel Mendez with a cracked skull listed as death imminent, right? (They stop in front of the cell with the crime scene taped around it.) Det. Vartann: Yeah. It's why they kicked it up to homicide. Warrick: You think the cops used excessive force here? (Nick puts his case down and walks over to the empty cell.) Det. Vartann: Well, if they did it's mitigating circumstances. Warrick: Yeah. (The officer removes the tape to open the cell. Nick looks at the mess on the wall.) Nick: Yeah, well, if they'd've thrown a bunch of feces at me, I would have cracked some skulls too. (On the middle of the bare floor, there's a gun.) Nick: This is the last place I thought I'd see a gun. Det. Vartann: It was found under the victim. Nick: Could be his. Warrick: Arresting officer must have done a lousy search. (Warrick puts a ruler down and snaps a photo of the gun.) (Nick stands up and looks around the small cell at the mess.) Nick: Wow ... this is a lot of crap. What, did they squat on cue? Warrick: Overflowing toilet. There's enough ammunition right there. Nick: So, the cops bust in to get the prisoners under control when they start throwing raw sewage? (Quick flash of: The prison cell doors open and the guards enter. The fight between the guards and the prisoners starts.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Warrick: Well, there must have been some real bad asses in here. Looks like it got pretty heated. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PRISON -- HALLWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (The prisoners are lined up in a row. They're all wearing towels and carrying their clothes.) Overhead: (p.a.) ... Security Officers for lockdown debriefing. (An officer puts a package on the car next to the other packages.) (The next prisoner steps up to Nick.) Nick: You want to tell me what happened here? (The prisoner has a large bruise around his left eye.) Prisoner 1: Cops iced the kid. What else you want to know? (Nick takes a photo of the prisoner.) Prisoner 1: Could tell he was a fish from the jump, though. Nick: A fish? (Nick snaps another photo.) Prisoner 1: New to the game. WHITE FLASH TO: (The officer takes his boots.) Officer: (o.s.) You want to go to the hold, boy? (The next prisoner steps up and spits in front of Nick into something off screen.) (Nick stares up at the very tall Prisoner 2.) Prisoner 2: What? (The prisoner hands the guard his shoes. Nick takes a couple of photos.) Nick: You see what happened? (Prisoner 3 is sporting a large bruise on his left eye, which is shut from the swelling.) Prisoner 3: The po-po gutted the fish. I saw the whole thing. Same thing they did to me. Two beatings in one day. Rodney King, yo. (Nick snaps a photo of Prisoner 3.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PRISON HOSPITAL - DAY] (Catherine is standing next to the victim's bed. The victim is hooked up to a lot of machines - still alive, but barely. Next to the bed, she has a camera set up on a tripod. She holds the ruler against the injuries on the victim's head and snaps a couple of photos of it.) Dr. Franks: I'm sorry, uh, who are you? Catherine: I'm Catherine Willows. I'm with the Crime Lab. Dr. Franks: Oh. I'm Dr. Franks, attending. Have you located his family yet? Catherine: No. Dr. Franks: I need to find someone to sign a release, take him off the ventilator. Catherine: He's brain dead? Dr. Franks: Oh, yeah. I'm hoping the family will donate his organs. Catherine: Tell me about his injuries. Dr. Franks: He's got blunt-force trauma to the frontal and sphenoid bones. (Quick flashback to: The victim is punched in the face. End of flashback.) Dr. Franks: It fragmented his skull, damaged his temporal arteries and imbedded in his brain. (Quick CGI POV: The brain cuts and blood spills out. End of CGI POV. Quick flash to: The victim falls to the ground with blood running down his face. End of flash.) Catherine: Well, those are shoe prints on his face, which suggests that he was attacked while he was down. (Quick flash of: The victim is already down on the ground. Someone stomps on him with the heel of his boot. End of flash.) Dr. Franks: Well, he came from county lock-up. Must have been a hell of a fight. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (The lid is removed from the rubber bin. Sara holds the flashlight above and looks into the bin at the dead boy. She sees some blond-colored hair on the boy's jeans.) (David Phillips reaches into the bin to carry the boy's body out. Sara glances at Greg. David removes the body. Greg replaces the lid on the bin and removes the bin off the table.) (David puts the body on the table.) (Sara takes a tape lift of the blond-colored hair from the boy's jeans. Someone coughs. She puts the tape lift on the side.) (Greg examines the bin. Inside, he finds some yellow powder and nail scratchings. He takes a sample of the powder.) (Back on the body, Sara finds another blond-colored hair strand. She picks it off of the jeans and puts it in a plastic baggie.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (Robbins goes over his findings with Sara. He shows her the x-rays.) Robbins: The victim's about five years old. He was just losing his baby teeth. X-rays show metaphyseal fractures to the right humerus and acromion. They're called corner or bucket-handle fractures. Sara: Shake the baby? Robbins: It's more like snatch and shake. Violent shaking creates shearing forces, causing fragment fractures at the end of the growth plate. It's highly specific for abuse. (Quick flash of: A little boy is sitting on a swing.) Voice (man): (o.s.) I said, Get up! (A hand grabs the boy's arms and twists. Quick CGI POV to: The bones inside the boy's arms break.) (End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) Sara: How old do you think these fractures are? Robbins: Well, this kind of fracture doesn't usually heal with callus you can easily see. My guess, less than six months. (Robbins and Sara turn back to the body. Robbins pulls back the sheet.) Sara: He is emaciated. He looks drawn. The only thing missing is a swollen belly. Robbins: It's called cachexia. The soft tissue is diminished and drawn around the skull. The eyes are sunken, and there's prominent tenting where the skin should retract. (Sara touches the body's ribs.) Sara: His ribs are poking through his skin. He starved to death, didn't he? Robbins: C.O.D. is renal failure due to starvation. His intestinal tract was virtually empty, except for these brown flecks I found. (He hands Sara a glass container with some powder inside. She looks at it.) Robbins: Hepatic steatosis, the liver goes yellow and greasy. Ketoacidosis, fat stores are used for energy, and then rhabdomyolysis - the muscles broken down for fuel. Think of the body as digesting itself. (Quick flash to: A little boy crying. The camera zooms in toward the boy's chest.) (Quick CGI POV to: The skin on the chest dries up and stretches over his ribs.) (Camera pulls back out past the ribs ... and the clothes ... to the dead little boy in the rubber trash bin.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Sara: This took weeks. Robbins: I have to admit, this seems especially cruel and unusual. Sara: When kids are involved, it usually is. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- DAY] [INT. PRISON - OFFICE -- DAY] (Warrick and Det. Vartann talk with Lt. Kim.) Lt. Arthur Chen: It's 10-by-18-foot cell built for 25 people. We've got thirty-five mutts and no place to put the extras. Between the yo's, the cholos and the rednecks, it was bound to happen. Warrick: Thirty-five guys, that's a lot of men to fit in one room. Lt. Arthur Chen: Cops round them up, we process them. It usually doesn't take long, but today we got jammed. Det. Vartann: What was the problem? Lt. Arthur Chen: Computer went down, plumbing backed up. You name it, we had it. Det. Vartann: Any rival bangers in the same cell? Lt. Arthur Chen: No. I rechecked the roster. We don't want the yo's killing each other in custody. Why we bother, I'll never know. Warrick: You ever think an overcrowded cell mixed with bad plumbing was the reason they threw the contents? Lt. Arthur Chen: They don't need a reason. Bad monkeys at the zoo. (Warrick and Det. Vartann both note the slur. There's an awkward pause.) Det. Vartann: So, uh, how did the gun get past security? Lt. Arthur Chen: Arresting officer did a bad search. Warrick: Don't you search them again when they get to the holding cell? Lt. Arthur Chen: What? Warrick: Don't you search them again when they get here? Lt. Arthur Chen: Is there something you want to get off your chest? Warrick: (wry chuckle) A gun in a cell is sloppy police work, man. (Lt. Kim takes a step forward.) Lt. Arthur Chen: I don't like what you're implying about me or my men. (Warrick stands up.) Warrick: Then maybe you need to dial down your attitude. A man is brain dead here! I don't care what he was like when he was alive, and neither should you, don't you think? Lt. Arthur Chen: All I know, there's one less bstrd I gotta watch my back for. There's five of us, so the odds are in their favor. You're a crime scene tech. I'm law enforcement, which means you don't get to tell me what to do in my jail. Warrick: If I find out you used excessive force on an unarmed prisoner, you won't have a jail. Lt. Arthur Chen: I think we're done here. (Lt. Kim heads for the door.) Warrick: I don't think so. Not quite. I'm going to need your armor, your shields, your boots and your batons. (shouts) Right now! (Lt. Kim stops and turns around.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM - DAY] (Sara is going through stacks of files. Sofia walks into the room.) Sofia Curtis: I'll, uh ... ran John Doe minor's DNA against the missing persons database. I'm sorry, no hits. Sara: Yeah, I'm not surprised. They didn't care enough to feed him, why would they report him missing? (Sofia pours herself a cup of coffee. She turns around and sees the files on the table in front of Sara.) Sofia Curtis: What's going on in here? Sara: The victim had a prior abuse fracture. Sofia Curtis: And you're hoping Child Protective Services investigated? Sara: Well, based on the age of the victim, the age of the fracture and the break pattern, I found ten possible matches. Sofia Curtis: Well, it's going to take you forever to go through these alone. Sara: I'll get it done. Sofia Curtis: It took me a long time to get where I was, Sara. Now I feel like I'm starting from scratch. I miss sleeping at night. I miss my colleagues. I miss ... Sara: What? Sofia Curtis: Being trusted. (Sofia turns and leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY] (Warrick pushes the cart full of bagged evidence.) Warrick: Okay. (He stops in front of Mia.) Mia Dickerson: What's on the menu today, Warrick? (He holds up the baggies.) Warrick: A gun ... face shields, vests ... batons ... please run the batons first. Mia Dickerson: Why? You thinking bad cop? Warrick: Well, the batons were the only weapons inside of the cell. Everything else was fixed ... (Warrick's cell phone rings. He doesn't answer it.) Warrick: ... to the floor, to the walls. (Warrick's cell phone continues to ring.) Mia Dickerson: You gonna get that? (He takes it out and checks the caller ID.) Warrick: No. Mia Dickerson: (mutters) Player. Warrick: Oh, now I'm a 'player'. You make up your mind pretty quick. Mia Dickerson: I'll, uh, page you when I get the results. Warrick: Yeah? (Warrick holds out his phone to Mia, showing her the ID of the caller: G. Sanders.) Warrick: He was a rough one last night, so I called to check on him. But since I'm here, I can do it in person. Anything else you want to say to me? Mia Dickerson: (smiles) Have a nice day. Warrick: (chuckles) Is that it? Mia Dickerson: (smiles) That's it. (Sofia walks into the lab.) Sofia Curtis: Am I interrupting? (They both turn and look at Sofia.) Warrick: No. Mia Dickerson: No. (Warrick heads out of the lab.) Warrick: (to Sofia) Good day. (Sofia walks up to Mia.) Sofia Curtis: He's pretty hot. Mia Dickerson: Yeah, well, I think he knows it. Sofia Curtis: Anything on the hairs from the plastic coffin? Mia Dickerson: Ah, yeah, I actually did find one hair with a root tag still attached, and it's a priority run for me as soon as I get something to compare it to. Sara also collected a bunch of synthetic hairs. I'm thinking doll, wig, maybe fake fur. I sent them over to trace. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Sara and Robbins are scanning x-rays into the computer.) Sara: I went through child abuse cases, looking for a match to the victim's age and fracture. I pulled the x rays of our most likely candidates. Robbins: Sinus identification is as reliable as fingerprints. Sinuses are unique; they have distinct, scalloped edges. (He pulls up the head x-ray of the victim and outlines the sinus cavity. He compares it to the other x-rays.) (The computer beeps: NO MATCH.) Sara: No match. Robbins: It's harder to identify children this way because they, uh, develop so quickly. (The computer beeps: NO MATCH.) (The computer beeps: POSITIVE MATCH.) Sara: This is it. Robbins: Bingo. Yep. Frontal and ethmoid sinuses line up perfectly. (Sara gets the file folder to get the name of the victim.) Sara: (reads) Devon Malton, age five, last known residence was a foster home run by a Lorna Tenney. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TENNEY RESIDENCE -- DAY] (Sara and Brass interview Lorna Tenney.) Lorna Tenney: So, which one of my kids is in trouble? Brass: No, you are, Mrs. Tenney. Lorna Tenney: Oh? Which one of my kids lodged a complaint? Sara: That happen a lot? Lorna Tenney: Well, it goes with the territory. Brass: We're here about, uh, Devon Malton. Lorna Tenney: Well, he hasn't lived here in six months. Sara: Since he fractured his arm? Lorna Tenney: CPS investigated. They cleared me. Sara: Records show Devon resides here. Lorna Tenney: Well, records are wrong. Brass: Mind if we come in and take a look around? Lorna Tenney: I do. Sara: If you've got nothing to hide... Lorna Tenney: (interrupts) Oh, save it. Those mind games don't work on me. I deal with the police often enough to know better than to talk to you without my attorney or to let you poke around my things. Brass: Look, Family Services says you have this kid. Lorna Tenney: Mm-hmm. Brass: They've issued aid checks. Now, who do you expect me to believe? Lorna Tenney: The checks come, I send them back. I've got the copies to prove it. Brass: Look, it's either here or at the station. So, you choose. Lorna Tenney: Then let's go, because you don't set foot in my house without a warrant. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Greg has the rubber trash bin suspended in a large glass container. He adds the small tray and puts a few drops into the tray. He fumes the trash bin.) (Greg's pager beeps. He checks it and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Greg walks into the trace lab. Hodges is reading through a magazine waiting for him.) David Hodges: Heard you had a real sphincter pucker last night. So what kind of gun are you getting? Greg: Plenty of guns at crime scenes. Cops have them, some criminalists ... David Hodges: Yeah, cops make great targets. Plus, CSIs get shot at all the time, or didn't they tell you? (Greg turns around, intending to leave the lab.) Greg: If this is why you paged me then I ... David Hodges: I got the results on the bin contents. (Greg turns back and steps up to the lab counter.) Greg: Well? David Hodges: Are you sure you're okay? You don't look so good. (Greg gives him a look and Hodges backs down. Hodges reaches for the test results and gives them to Greg.) David Hodges: I detected mineral oil, titanium dioxide, stearic acid, isopropylpalpitate using polarized light microscopy, GCMS and FTIR. Greg: Is that makeup? David Hodges: Burnt sienna foundation. The cheap stuff. Greg: What about the intestinal tract contents? (Hodges holds up the glass container.) David Hodges: Lead-based paint chips ... last used in 1978. Greg: That whole neighborhood looks like it was built in the 70s. Could've come from any one of the apartment buildings or the houses. David Hodges: Which means that sooner or later, you're going to have to be going back out to the hood. Nervous? Greg: Hmm ... [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PRISON HOSPITAL -- DAY] (The victim is still on the ventilator. Dr. Franks talks with Mr. Mendez, the father of Samuel Mendez.) (Catherine walks up to the two men talking in the hallway.) Mr. Mendez: I'm sorry, doctor. I can't donate his organs. Dr. Franks: I assure you your son has no brain activity, Mr. Mendez. He's gone. Mr. Mendez: No, no, you don't understand. I don't know who that is in there, but it's not my son. Catherine: Mr. Mendez. I'm Catherine Willows, with the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Are you sure? Mr. Mendez: Look, I've been waiting for this phone call a long time. My kid took a wrong turn somewhere -- maybe it's my fault, I don't know -- but somebody's boy is in that bed and he's not mine. (Mr. Mendez leaves. Dr. Franks turns and looks at Catherine.) Dr. Franks: Either he can't accept reality or the county made a big mistake. Catherine: Well, there's only one way to find out. I'll have to take his prints. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB -- DAY] (Catherine scans in a print into the computer for: SAMUEL MENDEZ - VICTIM IN CUSTODY Booking #275192139480 (She compares it to a second print on File for: SAMUEL MENDEZ - SUSPECT WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN (The computer beeps: NO MATCH.) (Catherine pulls up the photo and information on SAMUEL MENDEZ. Among the information, there is an ACTIVE ARREST WARRANT FOR MURDER CONSIDERED ARMED AND DANGEROUS (Catherine looks at the photos of the two men.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - WAITING ROOM - DAY] (Sara walks through the hallway. Brass meets up with her, but she lets Brass go. Sara stops and looks into the waiting room. Inside are Laura Tenney's kids.) (A couple of kids are giggling. The older blonde-haired girl sitting across the aisle admonishes them.) Glynnis: Guys. Do your work. (Sara walks into the room.) Sara: Hi. (She looks at Glynnis.) Sara: You like chemistry? Glynnis: No. I'm not smart enough. Sara: Sure you are. Glynnis, right? (Glynnis nods. Sara looks at what Glynnis is reading. She sits down next to her.) Sara: Quantum theory. That's compelling stuff actually. Glynnis: Look, you can to question me, fine. You don't have to pretend to be interested in me. Sara: I'm sorry that was lame. I guess I was just trying to put you at ease. I know what it's like. Glynnis: What? Sara: Living with strangers. Your fate being decided bysocial workers, advocates, judges... Glynnis: You were in the system. Sara: For a while. Glynnis: I've been in foster care for ten years. I moved from one home to the next. Believe me, Mrs. Tenney is one of the good ones. (Sara looks over into the interview room. Through the glass, we see Brass with Laura Tenney and her lawyer.) Sara: She's not very cooperative. Glynnis: Well, she's been burned a lot. Look, I know she comes off as tough, but she really cares. Enough to tell us the truth, even if it hurts. Sara: You remember a little boy named Devon? Glynnis: Yeah. Cute kid. About five years old. Sara: Your foster mom said that Devon left months ago. Is that true? Glynnis: Yeah. Why all the questions? (Sara moves her head.) Did something happen? Sara: Yeah. Glynnis: (whispers) Is he dead? Sara: Yeah. Glynnis: I don't understand. His mom came and picked him up. That never happens. You could just see how much she loved those boys. Sara: Glynnis ... Did Devon have brothers at the foster home? Glynnis: Yeah. Two older brothers, Kevin and, and Raymond. What happened to them? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE -- DAY] (Brass and Sara interview Delia Brooks with Social Services) Delia Brooks: The boy's mother, Candice Malton, served forty-seven of the ninety-day sentence for smashing a brick into her abusive boyfriend's face. Sara: Sounds like self-defense to me. Delia Brooks: Yeah. If. She would've walked after the first hit. Brass: So, how many times did she actually hit him? Delia Brooks: Five. Takes battered women a while to see the light, but once they do, there's no going back. Brass: Okay, so the Malton boys were placed in foster care while mom served her sentence. Delia Brooks: A single mother, she reinstated her parental rights as soon as she got out of jail. After what happened to her son, she didn't want anything to do with Child Services. Brass: Any idea where the mother is now? Delia Brooks: No, I've already checked Welfare, Medicaid, HUD rolls -- she's in the wind. Brass: I'll put out a Bulletin. Sara: No offense, but why didn't you check into the kids after the mom was released from jail? Delia Brooks: Eight thousand child abuse/neglect investigations a year. There's only so much we could do. Look, despite her taste in men, in my opinion, Candice Malton was a good mother. (She gets up.) Sara: One of her sons is dead and the other two are missing. (She stops and turns around.) Sara: What's good about that? (She turns and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB - DAY] (Catherine walks into the lab.) Catherine: Hey, Mia. Did you finish processing the batons? Mia Dickerson: Oh, yeah. Just now. (She hands the test print out to Catherine.) I found blood, epithelials and hair on all of them. There are several DNA sources from everyone but the victim. Catherine: Which means that a police baton never connected with Sam Mendez. He had to already be down when the cops entered the cell. Thanks. (Catherine turns and leaves the lab.) [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Catherine walks through the hallway. Lt. Kim walks up to her.) Lt. Arthur Chen: Catherine Willows? Catherine: Yeah? Lt. Arthur Chen: Lieutenant Arthur Chen, watch commander for Central Holding. Catherine: We are almost finished with our investigation, but I can tell you that the victim's prints don't match the Sam Mendez that's wanted for murder. Lt. Arthur Chen: Are you telling me we arrested the wrong guy? Catherine: It was a routine traffic stop. The arresting officer ran the name and got an immediate warrant hit. (Quick flash to: A car is pulled over. The officer runs the name and gets a result on the computer. A second officer car pulls up.) Catherine: (V.O.) An arrest warrant for murder and two guys with the same name. (Both officers hold their guns on Sam Mendez.) Officer: Out of the car! Out of the car! Samuel Mendez: What'd I do? Officer: Hands up! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Lt. Arthur Chen: Arresting officer did his job; I did my job. Catherine: No one's saying that you didn't. Lt. Arthur Chen: Your subordinate Warrick Brown did. Catherine: With all due respect, Lieutenant, that really doesn't sound like the Warrick Brown I know. Lt. Arthur Chen: You're a civilian, but even you understand 'chain of command'. Now, I'm giving you an opportunity to adjust his attitude. Don't make me. (He turns and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Sofia walks into the lab where Greg is working on the rubber trash bin.) Sofia Curtis: Heard you found a print on the bin. Greg: I did. Under the lip curve. (Camera zooms in under the bin's lip to show the print.) (Greg looks at Sofia.) Sofia Curtis: What? Greg: Well, I'm not sure what's the best way to process the print. Sofia Curtis: You take digital photos? Greg: Yeah. (He hands her the memory card.) Sofia Curtis: Well, hand them over. I'll load it into the computer and reconstruct the image while you finish processing. Greg: What else is there left to do but run it through AFIS? Sofia Curtis: You're going to need an actual print for court. Greg: Are you saying that I'm going to have to cut it out in order to lift it? (She nods.) Isn't that destroying the evidence? Sofia Curtis: No. You're recovering it. As long as you document it, you're fine. Greg: Oh. (Various cuts of: Sofia works on the print while Greg cuts the print out of the rubber trash bin.) (She transfers the digital camera image into the computer. Greg cuts the trash bin.) (Sofia cut and copies the print.) (Greg opens a tape lift. He takes the sample and removes the print.) (Sofia scans the print into the computer and runs it against the database.) (She clicks on FBI DATABASE 69,235 bytes email. She gets aresult.) (Greg looks at the print on the tape lift.) Greg: Well, I appreciate your help. Sofia Curtis: No big deal. Greg: I don't know if I'd be quite as accommodating after just being ... (She turns around and looks at him. He shrugs.) Greg: Well, you know. Sofia Curtis: Demoted? Greg: Yeah. (Sofia turns around back to the computer.) Sofia Curtis: No hit in AFIS. I've widened the search. I've got an FBI database hit. (Greg stands up and walks over to her.) Sofia Curtis: Your print belongs to an enlisted man. Private First Class Phillip Riley. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Brass interviews Phillip Riley while two MPs stand guard inside the room.) Phillip Riley: I hope you can tell me what the hell is going on. MP's just dragged me off a transport to Tikrit. That makes me look bad. Not that I mind. Better here than over there. You know what I'm saying? Brass: Oh, you're an Americanhero. And I mean that, you are. What the hell were you doing on D Street? Phillip Riley: D Street? Brass: Explain to me why your fingerprints ended up on a plastic bin container in an alley off DStreet? Phillip Riley: Oh, Come on! Brass: Oh, did I forget to mention there was a dead kid inside? Phillip Riley: Well, well, I thought this was about paying for trimming inside county lines. All I did was take out the trash. That's all I did. Brass: For who? Phillip Riley: Some chicken head ghetto rat. I-I-I was shipping out and-and decided to party. You know, she was all I could afford. Brass: Where'd you meet her? Phillip Riley: Some dive. Seven sins. Brass: What was her name? Phillip Riley: Divine. I think. I-I don't remember if she told me her last name. Anyway, we had some fun and when I was done, she told me to take out the trash. End of story. Brass: Not quite. Where does she live? Phillip Riley: North Vegas somewhere. I was drunk as hell. Brass: I want you to think real hard. Phillip Riley: I swear to God. I don't know. I really don't. Brass: How'd you get there? Phillip Riley: In a taxi. And I left the same damn way. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CATHERINE'S OFFICE - DAY] (Catherine is putting some books and photos on the shelf when Warrick walks into the office.) Warrick: Aw, it looks good on you. Catherine: Thanks. (She smiles and turns around, looking at the office behind her.) Catherine: Have a seat. (Warrick sits down.) Warrick: So what's up? Catherine: Lieutenant Chen dropped by. (She crosses her arms in front of her.) Warrick: Really. I wonder what for. Catherine: To complain about you. Wish you told me you had a beef with him. Warrick: There was nothing to say. We had words, it got heated, then it was over. Catherine: Well ... (clears throat) ... I'm the supervisor of the swing shift. I'm responsible for the whole team. It's my job to make sure that we remain objective and professional. Warrick: Yeah, I really don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I remember talking to Grissom ... Catherine: Well, I'm not Grissom. He let a lot of things slide that I won't. Warrick: Okay. Is there anything else? Catherine: The evidence cleared the extraction team. You owe Lieutenant Chen an apology. Warrick: Written or verbal? Catherine: From now on, anything that happens at a crime scene, I'm your first phone call. Warrick: Sure. (Warrick stands up and leaves the office.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY] (Mia takes out the gun from the evidence bag. She pulls the hammer back. The camera zooms in for a close-up of the skin and hair caught on the metal.) (Mia removes the strand of hair and takes a swab of the flesh.) INTERCUT WITH: [INT. CSI - EVIDENCE LAB - DAY] (Camera pans down the table of shoes from the inmates. Warrick inks the roller and takes shoe prints.) INTERCUT WITH: [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB - DAY] (Nick puts bullets in the revolver. He puts the revolver together.) Nick: (shouts) Fire in the hole! Shooting two! (He fires.) (Warrick scans the shoe prints onto clear sheets. He compares the shoe prints with the shoe prints on the victim's face.) (Nick scans the bullet and runs it through thedatabase.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - ROOM - DAY] (Catherine meets with Warrick and Nick.) Catherine: We now know the cops were not responsible, so that leaves us with thirty-four suspects, all with rap sheets. Is there anything to narrow the focus? Warrick: Well, I compared all thirty-four pairs -- I came up with one sole pattern ... (Warrick puts the pair of boots on the table in front of them.) ... and one suspect -- Vincent Mendoza ... booked for meth manufacture. Catherine: Well, the official C.O.D. was blunt force trauma to the head, not stomping. Warrick: Well, it's not unreasonable to think the same guy that caused the blunt force trauma can also stomp him. Catherine: Well, that all sounds good, but why go to all that trouble? Nick: Because the gun was hot. Ran it though IBIS. It was used in an execution-style murder. Catherine: The last thing the guy wanted to do was to get caught with a gun that had a body on it. Warrick: Yeah, well, this victim looks like the perfect patsy to drop a gun on. (Nick picks up the photo of the victim with the shoe print and looks at it.) Nick: Yeah ... little fish in a tank full of sharks. FADE OUT (to sound of chomping). [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Det. Vartann and Warrick interview Vincent Mendoza with his lawyer, Margaret Finn, next to him.) Margaret Finn: What's on the table, gentlemen? Det. Vartann: Murder, two counts. Warrick: Your client killed a man in a holding cell and tried to frame the cops for it. Vincent Mendoza: That's bull and you know it. Margaret Finn: Shh. Let's hear the corroborating evidence, and it'd better be good. Det. Vartann: Mr. Mendoza was hooked in a raid on a meth lab. Problem was, he was carrying a concealed weapon and had no time to ditch it. Warrick: He dropped the weapon down his pants, planned to get rid of it in Central Holding before the cavity search. Margaret Finn: So far, I'm not hearing anything you can actually prove. Warrick: Well, I'm sure Vincent here knew a lot of people inside since he is a repeat offender. But only one man didn't fit, huh? Fear must've been rolling off him in waves so strong you could probably smell it. (Quick flashback to: [CENTRAL HOLDING] Vincent Mendoza watches as the guard walks down the corridor toward them. He walks to the back of the cell and unzips his pants where he removes the revolver.) (On the bench, Sam Mendez turns and glances nervously at him.) Vincent Mendoza: What you looking at, huh? Sam Mendez: Nothing. Nothing. Vincent Mendoza: I said, what're you looking at, Mark? Sam Mendez: Nothing. Nothing. (Vincent Mendoza grabs Sam and slams him against the wall. He starts bashing his head against the toilet. He tosses him to the ground and drops the gun intentionally on the ground near the body.) (He stomps on Sam Mendez.) Inmate: (shouts) 911! 911, man!\ (A fight breaks out in the small cell.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Vincent Mendoza looks at Warrick and chuckles.) Vincent Mendoza: Typical. Knew you guys would try to pin this on me. I wasn't anywhere near the fish. Det. Vartann: You sure about that? Vincent Mendoza: That's what I said, isn't it? Warrick: Well, it's good to know, since your boot prints were found on the victim's head. Det. Vartann: See, you didn't want to get caught with a gun used in another homicide. A meth dealer, your partner, was found in the desert two weeks ago. Margaret Finn: Any one of those guys could've carried a gun into the holding cell. Warrick: It's not likely, unless you can explain how Vincent here got his pubic hair and feces caught in the gun's hammer. Margaret Finn: Give us some time. Warrick: How's twenty-five to life sound? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SEVEN SINS -- NIGHT] (Brass and Sara walk into the strip joint.) Lyric: True respect and ghetto love / now raise it up / 'cause everything in life gonna come to an end / because it ... (They walk over to a woman in the back.) Divine: Forty buys the lips, a hundy gets you south. Goes double for around the world. (The guy she's with nods.) Divine: You got a car? (He nods again.) You sure about that? Guy: Mm-hmm. Divine: 'Cause you don't look like you got a car to me. (Brass walks up to them and points to his badge on his jacket pocket.) Brass: Take a hike, John. I'm her next appointment. (The guy she's with leaves.) Divine: I didn't do nothing but sit here, officer. Brass: On your feet. (She gets to her feet.) Divine: Can't believe you're gonna ruin my day for this. You don't have enough to charge me with solicitation. (Sara reaches out and touches Divine's blond hair. Divine pulls away.) Divine: Hey! Watch it, bitch. Sara: It's a wig, hair is consistent. Could you open your mouth for me, please? Brass: Come on, you can do that in your sleep, honey. Open up or we'll have to stick you with a needle. (Divine rolls her eyes and opens her mouth.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CATHERINE'S OFFICE -- NIGHT] (Grissom steps up, carrying his fetus pig in a bottle. He lingers in the doorway and knocks on the door.) (Catherine's sitting behind her desk. She looks up and sees him.) Catherine: Taking your pet for a walk? (Grissom walks in and sits down.) Grissom: Know how much you like my little fetal pig, so I'm giving him to you as an office-warming gift. Catherine: That is so thoughtful. Now tell me why you really stopped by. You checking up on me? Grissom: No. Catherine: What've you heard? Who talked to you? Grissom: See? You've been on the job for a week and you're already paranoid. Catherine: (laughs) When I was your right-hand and your left, I always knew that if it hit the fan, that you'd be the one to get dirty. Grissom: Hey, that's the job. Catherine: Yeah, that's the job. (Grissom nods.) Did you ever play politics? Grissom: I once ran for president of the science club in junior high. Mary Hardy beat me out by one vote. Catherine: I'm going to guess that you didn't vote for yourself. Grissom: I'm not any good at politics. And it's cost me. It's how I lost Nick and Warrick. Catherine: Your loss was my gain. Grissom: Yeah. And at least they're in good hands. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (Brass and Divine sit across the table from each other.) Divine: We been sitting here a long-ass time. Brass: What can I say? I like your company. Divine: What'd you bring me down here for? I was only trying to make a few bucks. Brass: Yeah. (Sara knocks on the door and walks in carrying a file folder. She slides the folder across the table toward Divine.) Sara: DNA's a match. Divine: Match to what? Sara: To one of your hairs that you left on the body of a little boy. Divine: I don't know what you're talking about. Brass: No? I wonder why anyone would leave one kid with you much less three. Sara: You have seven alleles in common with the dead boy. Although that's not enough to say you're related, it's certainly enough to keep digging. Brass: You know, I ran your wants and warrants. It kicked out some aliases. I mean, Devine's a street name. But you're also known as Darlene Lewis, married briefly to a grifter. And a.k.a. Darlene Malton. Hey, that's the same last name as the victim. Sara: To starve anyone is beyond me, but to do it to a child ... a relative, is unforgivable. (Quick flash to: Divine empties out the rubber trash bin and puts Devon inside. She shoves the cover back on the bin.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Divine: Wasn't even like that. My cousin Candy left me with them bad-ass kids and no money. How am I supposed to feed them? Sara: You don't look like you've missed any meals to me. Divine: Know what, skinny bitch, go to hell. I just scrape by. Brass: If you couldn't take care of them, why didn't you just turn them over to Social Services? Divine: I promised I wouldn't. Little D got hurt last time. She would've killed me. Sara: What's she going to do when she finds out her son is dead? Divine: I did the best I could. Brass: Okay, where are the boys now? (Divine glances over at Sara.) Divine: Uh-uh, you're not gonna blame this on me. I want a lawyer. Brass: You can have a lawyer after you give me the address. But let me tell you something -- if those boys die, I'm going to make it my business to see you get the death penalty. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DIVINE'S RESIDENCE -- DAY] (A couple of neighborhood kids walk by and see Greg standing out in the front yard.) Neighborhood Kid: What's up, white boy? What you looking at? (Brass walks out of the house.) Brass: There's no one in the house. Sara: Where are the kids? Brass: I don't know, let's check around back. [SCENE_BREAK] (Brass, Sara and Greg move around the house to the back yard.) Brass: (V.O.) So, turns out that mom was sending money after all. I found this letter inside mailed from Seattle with three hundred bucks in it for the kids' upkeep. And that skanky bitch used it to buy a new TV. (They look around the backyard and see the hut to the storage shed. It's bolted shut from the outside.) (Brass and Sara pull out their guns. Brass unlocks the door.) (He opens the door.) [INT. DIVINE'S RESIDENCE - STORAGE SHED - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Brass, Sara and Greg walk into the cellar. The stairs lead down beneath the ground. The paint is peeling from the walls.) Sara: Paint chips. Greg: Smells like a toilet. (They reach the bottom and start walking between the shelves.) Brass: Yeah, she never let them upstairs. (calls out) Kevin, Raymond ... (He reaches the back of the storage shed and looks in between the last shelving and the wall. He sees a pair of legs on the floor.) Brass: Oh, no. I'm going to call an ambulance. (He backs away to make the call. Sara steps forward to check on the little boy.) Brass: (to radio) This is Detective Jim Brass. I need EMS. Dispatch: (from radio) Copy that, EMS. Over. (Sara checks for a pulse and finds one.) Sara: (shouts) He's alive! We need water and blankets. Greg: (o.s.) I'll get them. Sara: Oh, my gosh. (Behind Sara, a small hand reaches out and touches her shoulder. She turns around and sees another little boy crying.) Sara: Hey. Are you Kevin or Raymond? (Sara holds the little boy as he cries.) Sara: It's all right. It's all right, you're safe now. It's okay. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- DAY] (An officer escorts Divine through the hallway past Brass and Sara, who watch from the reception desk.) Brass: So, Seattle P.D. has located Candace Malton. They're putting her on a plane tonight. They said she's pretty broken up. Sara: She left her kids with her hooker cousin. She should've known better. (Brass nods.) Sara: Where are you going to take her first, the hospital or the morgue? Brass: Guess I might as well get it over with. I mean, once she sees the kids she's not going to want to leave them. (He shrugs.) What do you think? Sara: Go with the living, Jim. The dead can wait. (Sara turns and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- NIGHT] (Sara is at the laptop computer. She turns to her right and sees Grissom in his office looking at a book. Sofia sits on the edge of his desk and he closes the book to talk with her. She reaches out and touches the book in his hand.) (Sara turns to her left and sees Warrick, Nick and Greg in the break room relaxing.) (Catherine walks through the hallway and stops when she sees the guys in the break room. They're sharing a bag of popcorn between them.) (Catherine smiles wistfully and sighs. She glances at her wristwatch, turns and heads back the way she came.) (Cut back to: Sara also turns and glances sideways back to her right. She looks at her laptop and types in at the LEXISNEXIS TOTAL RESEARCH SYSTEM, search terms for the following: THE PEOPLE VS. LAURA SIDLE W/2 MODESTO, CALIFORNIA, 1984. (Camera holds on Sara.) FADE TO BLACK	Plan: A: Grissom; Q: Who and his team work on a case of a young boy found dead in a dumpster? A: Catherine; Q: Who is the detective who is trying to find out why an inmate was left brain dead? A: an inmate; Q: Who was left brain dead after an action by police? Summary: Grissom and his team work on a case of a young boy found dead in a dumpster while Catherine and her team try to find out why an inmate was left brain dead after an action by police.
Pam: [on the phone] Yeah, that's no problem. Michael: Pam? Pam: [on the phone] Sure. Uh huh. Michael: Pam? Knock, knock. Pam: I'm on the phone. Michael: I know you are. Knock, knock. Pam: [on the phone] You can fax it over. Yeah, 5-7-0-5-5-5-0-1-- Michael: [at same time as Pam] 4-9-1-7-4-5-1 Pam: 0-1-7-5. Thank you. Bye, bye. [to Michael] It really makes us look unprofessional. Michael: They would never know it was me doing it. Here we go, Knock, knock. [Dwight walks over] Pam: [sighs] Who's there? Michael: Buddha. Pam: Buddha who? Michael: [puts a slice of bread and stick of butter on Pam's desk] Buddha this bread for me, won't you? [Michael and Dwight laugh] Pam: Great. Michael: I, I need something to wipe my hand. Pam: Now there's, there's butter on my desk. Michael: That was helping. It was classic. Dwight: I got a knock-knock joke. Michael: No... God. Dwight: OK, Michael, please, please, please, please, please let me. Michael: Alright. Dwight: [clears throat] Knock, knock. Michael: Who's there? Dwight: KGB. Michael: KGB - [Dwight slaps Michael on the face] Dwight: [in Russian accent] We will ask the questions! Michael: What the hell was that? [Michael starts to fight with Dwight] Dwight: What are you doing? Michael: What are you doing? Dwight: Hey! Hey! Stop it! Stop it! Michael: You, you like that? Dwight: C'mon. What are you doing? Mine was a part of my hilarious joke. Michael: Mine was retribution. What are you doing? No more knock-knock jokes. That's it. Jim: Ding Dong. Michael: [to Jim] Who's there? Jim: KGB. Michael: Dwight, get the door. Dwight: I'm not answering it. Michael: Answer the door. Jim: Ding dong. Dwight: No way, it's the KGB. Jim: Ding dong. Dwight: I'm not answering that. You answer it. Michael: I'm not gonna answer it Dwight: I'm not gonna answer it, it's the KGB. [Jim slaps Dwight] Jim: The KGB will wait for no one! [Michael laughs] Dwight: It's true. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: [Michael walks in dressed as Willy Wonka] Good morning, Michael. Michael: Oh, no, no, no, no. I am not Michael. I am Willy Wonkaaaaa. Pam: Good morning, Mr. Wonka, here are your messages. Michael: Why thank you very much. [notices jelly beans] Oh, what are those? What are those? Tell me, please! Pam: Jelly beans. Michael: No, no, no. They are not just ordinary jelly beans little girl. These are extraordinary jelly beans! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: The Willy Wonka Golden Ticket promotional idea is probably the best idea I have ever had. It's probably the best idea anybody has ever had. Three days ago, I slipped five pieces of gold paper into random paper shipments. This entitles the customer to ten percent off of their total order. It will be a day for them that is full of whimsy, and full of excitement and full of fantasy. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I've written these things because it is my responsibility, as manager of this branch, to profiligate great ideas and I think I have done my part with the golden ticket promotion. Now it is your turn. I want to hear some great ideas from you that are just as good as mine. [Jim raises hand] Umm hmm. Jim: We own our own delivery trucks. We could lease them out on the weekends -- Michael: Too many words. Good ideas are simple. 'Golden ticket.' Jim: 'Free paper.' Michael: No. Jim. We're a business. Post-its. That is a golden ticket idea. NASA took five or six golden ticket ideas to get man on the moon. Andy: Golden Girls. That's a golden ticket idea, right, I mean how great was that show? Golden Grahams. Another, is it -- I don't get this... Michael: No, you don't. No, it - [sighs] What will be the state of this company if I am the only one coming up with the great ideas? Right? [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: I think I should call her. Andy: No! No! No! Kevin: Why is it so bad for me to call and ask her to lunch today? Andy: [sighs] You're making it too easy for her. You're just conveying, 'Oh I like you just the way you are.' Kevin: But I do like her just the way she is. Andy: Well that's not what we agreed on. Jim: What are you doing? Andy: Huh? Jim: [to Kevin] Why don't you just go out on a date with her? Try to spark up an on going joke and then in a month or two, if it feels right, you'll know. Andy: No. Pam: You don't have to wait that long. I mean, you don't have to wait a month to ask her out. Just ask her out. Andy: You're asking him to give up all of his power. Jim: What power? [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: Andy, Pam, and Jim are all telling me how to deal with this girl that I like, Lynn. I, I don't like getting advice from more than one person at a time. I'm a textbook over-thinker. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: You can't let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. Every compliment has to be backhanded. 'Oh I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair.' Pam: That's psychotic. Do guys actually do that? Jim: Well guys with girlfriends don't. Andy: That's low, Tuna. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [on phone] Hey, Tom. What's that? Oh, you found a golden ticket. [puts hand on receiver and speaks to office] One of my clients found a golden ticket. [Michael screams in excitement] [Jim back on phone] Yup. No, congratulations. [Michael dances in background] Michael: Woo hoo. Jim: [on phone] I'll take that down right now. Michael: Tell me; was it a spoiled little girl with big lips... Jim: I'm on the phone. Michael: ...or an odd little boy with a cowboy obsession? Jim: [on phone] Hold on one second. Michael: Invite them on the tour. Jim: [to Michael] It's actually Blue Cross from Pennsylvania. Michael: Really? That's kind of a big client. [gets up and heads toward Oscar] Hey, Oscar. Woo hoo hoo. Um, how much of a hit is ten percent of our Blue Cross account? Oscar: Ten percent? Michael: Yeah? Oscar: They're our largest client. Michael: Yeah. Oscar: It's gonna hurt. Jim: [on phone] Hold on one sec. Hold on one sec, Tom, what's that? You found five golden tickets? And does it say limit one per customer? Nope, it doesn't. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: How do you not spread out the tickets into different shipments? Michael: I thought I did. So... Jim: OK... Michael: Well no harm no foul. Jim: ...well I'm going to call corporate to make sure that they know I didn't lose half my sales. Michael: You didn't, but... it'll be fine. It'll be good. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hey. Hey. Hey. You idiot. Darryl: Start over. Michael: Sir. I placed a bunch of golden tickets into five separate boxes and some how they all ended up with Blue Cross. How does this happen? Darryl: Were the boxes near each other? Michael: Irrelevant. Darryl: I put three pallets on the truck to Blue Cross once a week. They use a lot of paper. Michael: OK, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be honest. What is a pallet? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: My golden ticket idea? OK. Why would anyone think that this is my golden ticket idea? There is a one in 13 chance that this could be anybody's golden ticket idea. [sighs] That... [sighs] [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Oh hi ,David. [Michael shakes his head to Pam] No, I'm sorry he's not back from the Civil Rights rally. I'll have him call you the minute he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: When Michael's skirting a phone call, he gave me a list of places to say he is. 'Stopping a fight in the parking lot. ' 'An Obama fashion show. ' Whatever... that is. Or 'trapped in an oil painting.' I'm gonna save that one. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Nobody panic. The good news is... they can't fire all of us, right? Oscar: They can. Michael: No, they can't. Oscar: Yes, they can. Michael: Oscar, you don't know what the hell you are talking about. Oscar: Michael, what do you think shutting down a branch is? Michael: Alright, then we're screwed. I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimsy, so - Jim: So, well I lost a ton of money today and I have a mortgage, so I'm a little pissed too. Michael: Thank you, Jim is with me. Jim: Absolutely not, I'm mad at you. Michael: Well you know what Jim? It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist. Creed: That's not why. Michael: OK, we need a gold ticket idea to get us out of this mess. [Pam raises hand] Yes. Pam: Does that mean an idea that blows up in our faces later? [Pam's phone rings] Jim: Good one. Michael: OK, don't get that. Please? [Pam gets up to answer her phone] Stanley: I've got a golden ticket idea. Why don't you skip on up to the roof and jump off? Michael: That is not constructive. Pam: [on phone] Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Oh hi, David. He's having a colonoscopy. Alright, I'll find out if he's out yet. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [on phone] Hello David. I just got back from my procedure, so-- David: [on speaker phone] Michael, what the hell is going on here? Michael: How are you doing? David: Fine. What is going on? Michael: [reading from computer] My colonoscopy was an examination of my large colon and the distal part of my small bowel with a camera. David: Why did you OK this golden ticket idea? We're going to lose a fortune, Michael. How could you let this happen? Michael: Well, there is an explanation that involves me not letting it happen and I just don't... I don't know. David: How could you not know Michael? Michael: I think we might have hired an outside marketing consultant. David: Might have hi--- OK, what firm? Michael: You're breaking up. David: Michael? Michael: OK, I think, it might have been an inside consultant. David: Was it the sales department? Michael: Yes. David: Was it Jim? Michael: No. David: OK, was it Dwight? Michael: [long pause] Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [Dwight walks in] Come on in. Good to see ya, have a seat. I just wanted to congratulate you on that great golden ticket idea. Dwight: That was your idea. Michael: Woah, wow, who told you that? Dwight: You did. Several times. Over and over again. Michael: [same time as Dwight] No, I don't think I ever did. That was your idea Dwight. Dwight: [same time as Michael] You were dressed as Willy Wonka so... Michael: I'm not taking... I'm not taking... Dwight: Wasn't my idea. Loved - but I can't. Michael: Wait a second, wait a second, I wrote it down in my diary. Dwight: You don't keep a diary. Michael: Yes I do. You've just never seen it. [reading from diary] March 4th. Dwight came up with the best idea today about golden tickets. Dwight: Hold that thought. [Dwight gets up and gets own diary from desk and returns] [flipping through diary] March... 4th. Michael Scott came up with golden ticket idea to give five customers ten perfect off for one year. Michael: Why do you have a diary? Dwight: To keep secrets from my computer. Michael: OK, you know what? You came up with this idea. I remember you told me that you loved the Willy Wonka movie when you were growing up. Dwight: Impossible. Michael: Yes, you did. Dwight: I wasn't given candy as a child, so a movie that fetish-ized it that much, would have made no sense to me. Plus, we weren't allowed to see movies. So... do the math. Michael: What are you writing? [Dwight writes in diary] Dwight: Had conversation with Michael about taking credit for an idea that wasn't mine. Discussed movies. Michael: Would you like to go to lunch with me? Just the two of us? Dwight: With all my heart. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: You guys are throwing a lot at me. Jim: All I'm saying is that it's a first dates, so just keep a respectful distance. Kevin: Right. Pam: I don't think Jim means to say that you shouldn't touch her. Jim: No, that is what I mean. Pam: [to Jim] Shush. [to Kevin] Kevin, a playful touch on the arm, or on the back, it can show your interest and it's really romantic. Kevin: [puts hand on Jim's hand] Like that? Jim: No, stop it. Andy: Don't touch her. Don't talk to her. Don't look at her. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [Jim, Andy and Pam all talking over each other] ...turn into this black and carbon brick-where this barbeque sauce of shame and rage and two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: We think a lot alike. Sometimes you will think something and I will say what you're thinking-- Dwight: OK, what am I thinking right now? Michael: Umm, nacho chips. Dwight: No... How skin is the largest organ of the body. Michael: Oh, OK. Let me just cut to the chase, Dwight. I want you to fall on your sword for me. Dwight: Oh, not gonna happen. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I did fall on my sword once. I was running with it in my belt. Won't happen again. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Why do you even want to stay at Dunder Mifflin? I mean what's the point? You're cooped up in there all day. You don't get to do your farming. You're not dating Angela anymore. It doesn't matter if you get fired for taking credit for the gold ticket idea. It doesn't matter. Me on the other hand, I would be lost without this place. You, way too manly. Dwight: What about Shoe La La? Michael: [sighs] It's not ready yet. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I have an idea for a fancy men's shoe store called Shoe La La. And it's just men's shoes for the special occasions in a man's life, like the day that you get married or the day your wife has a baby, or for just lounging around the house. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: May I have your attention please. I have an announcement. Mr. Dwight Schrute and I just returned from a wonderful stroll together and although I probably will never do it again, I had fun. I really had fun with my best friend, Dwight. Oscar: These aren't announcements. Michael: Yes they are, you just don't care about the information. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I love working here and I do not want to leave. Michael: He doesn't love it that much. Wouldn't be such a bad thing for him to be fired. Dwight: Well... Michael: I mean, like we were talking about that is why he has come to the conclusion... Dwight: We discussed the fact that I'm cooped up here instead of experiencing the whole wide world. Michael: Right. Dwight: No plowing my own acres. Going around shirtless all day. You know experiencing freedom. Michael: That's it. That's it. You can't put a price on freedom. Dwight: Try me. Michael: That's why you made the decision. That's why you made... Dwight: I haven't made a decision yet. Michael: You kind of have. Dwight: No. Michael: Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: You cannot take the fall for him. Dwight: He said he would do the same for me. Jim: He can do the same for you. Right now. By getting fired instead of you. So what are you gonna do? Dwight: I'm gonna go back to work. After I write you up for insubordination. Jim: There it is. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [seeing David Wallace come into the office] Oh my God. Dwight! Dwight! Get in--- what's it gonna be, what are you gonna do? [Dwight runs into Michael's office] What's it gonna be? Are you gonna do this thing for me? Dwight? [David knocks on Michael's door and opens door] Hey David, how are you? Good to see you. Nice surprise. Dwight and I were just having a very unfortunate conversation. David: That's too bad. Michael: Yes it is, but it had to be done, didn't it? David: Hopefully, nothing that can't be undone because Dwight I owe you an apology. The head of Blue Cross just called. They were so excited about the golden ticket discount that they have decided to make Dunder Mifflin their exclusive provider of all office supplies. Congratulations Dwight. [holds out hand for handshake] Dwight: David... you're welcome. [Dwight and David shake hands and make exclamations] [SCENE_BREAK] David: I just want to say that this golden ticket idea is one of the most brilliant signs of initiative I have ever seen at this company and how about a big round of applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute? [everyone starts clapping] David: Alright Dwight. This is huge. Dwight: That's what she said! [David laughs] Michael: Hey, Dwight, great idea. Dwight, Dwight, great idea. How'd you come up with that idea? Dwight: Inspiration. Michael: Really? How did-- how are you inspired? How did it pop into your head Dwight? Dwight: [same time as Michael] You never know when it's gonna strike. Just... boom. Michael: Give me the details of how that happened. Jim: You, you are taking about Dwight Schrute. The biggest Wonka fan I know. I mean, you've been talking about that movie for years. Michael: What? Jim: And you know what? I even made fun of you when you dressed up as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea and for that I apologize. Dwight: Apology rejected. Pam: [going up to give Dwight a hug] Thanks for much for helping the company, Dwight. Dwight: Oh Pam. Creed: Good work, kid. Dwight: Thanks old man. David: This, this is great. OH, OK, look I want to get you on the horn with the marketing people in New York. The should meet you. Dwight: Yeah. David: Pam, could you set up a call in there in about 15 minutes, please? Pam: Sure. Michael: David? David? Dwight: [same time as Michael] 'Cause I've got this idea... Michael: David? David: Yeah? Michael: Could I be a part of the meeting also? David: You probably have too much to do around here. I don't want to uh, take up your time with another meeting. Jim: Yeah, let's face it. This meeting sounds like it's Wonka fans only. He's never seen the movie. [David laughs] Dwight: Alright. [SCENE_BREAK] David: [on speakerphone] Hey guys, I have with me Dwight Schrute. Dwight, take it away. Dwight: OK guys, listen up. Here's the deal. I love candy. Sweet sugary candy from the second it touches my tongue to the moment it's metabolized by my stomach acids, so naturally I liked Willy Wonka. Man on phone: Wait, do you guys hear that? There's not a dog listening in, is there? [cut to show Michael on the other line] I hear panting. David: No. No dogs. Dwight: So I love Willy Wonka. That golden ticket scene is so inspiring to me that that's where I cam up with that idea [Michael comes into conference room]. Michael: There is no movie called Willy Wonka. It's called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Pam: It's actually based on a book called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Dwight: Pam... Michael: I can't... vouch for that. But I do know this. He is a liar. He has taken my idea. Dwight: That is my idea. David: [on phone] We are gonna call you back guys. [to Michael] What is going on here? Michael: OK, here's what happened, David. It was all my idea. You called me and you were really angry at me and I got scared, so I had Dwight take the fall, but now, it turns out that it's a great idea and Dwight will not confess. Can you believe that? David: No, no. Dwight: It is my idea. Michael: Oh how dare you. Dwight: It is my idea. I'm filled with good ideas. Thousands of good ideas. Michael: You are? Good ideas, huh? Hey, did you come up with toilet buddy? It's a net, circular net, that you put inside the toilet to catch all of your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet? Formally known as toilet guard? Dwight: Horse Boat. Michael: Oh please. Dwight: A canoe built around your horse so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down. Horse Boat! Michael: Toilet sponge. It's a hollowed out sponge... Dwight: Oh give me a break. Michael: ...that is more absorbent, and softer than toilet paper. I have a lot of toilet ideas. Dwight: That's because they're easy! Michael: They're not easy. Everybody has to go to the bathroom. Dwight: [same time as Michael] Women's urinals... uh... David: [same time as Michael and Dwight] Guys, guys. OK, enough. Please, enough. What, is this true, Dwight? I mean, is this true? Dwight: Yes, it's Michael's idea that he forced on me on threat of death. Michael: Thank You! David: What, I don't -- what do you want me to do now, Michael? What am I supposed to do now? Michael: Well David, I will be honest with you. I do want the credit without any of the blame. David: OK, uhh... I am going back to New York. Pam, do me a favor, don't send me those notes. Pam: OK. David: I am gone. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: When they look back on this day in the history books all that will be remembered is that I had a good idea. And that's what I am going to write down in my diary. That is what I want you to write down in yours. Dwight: Oh I am. In my own words. Michael: I want to see it. Dwight: No. Michael: I want to see it. [Michael gets up to try to see Dwight's diary] Dwight: No, Michael. Michael: Give me... Give me the diary. Dwight: No! [Michael struggles to take Dwight's diary from his hand] [SCENE_BREAK] Lynn: Hi. Kevin: Lynn, I'm just gonna say to you everything that I am thinking. Lynn: OK. Kevin: I think you have the best smile. I'd like to take you out to dinner and a movie. Lynn: OK. Kevin: Nice. [Both laugh] Boobs. [Lynn blushes] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Well, it's uh, his funeral. So... neh! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Ding dong. Jim: Who is it? Dwight: KGB. Jim: Alright. I just got out of the shower, I'll be one second. Dwight: [in accent] When you are done, open the door. ... Hello in there? Jim: Yeah, I'm late for work, so I have to brush my teeth, it's a whole routine. Dwight: We have more houses to visit. Jim: If you want to come back then, that'll be fine. Dwight: We will come back at... how is [looks at watch] 4:45? Jim: I get back from work around 6. Dwight: How about 5:15? Jim: You can try. That, that might work. Dwight: Very well, we will come back at 5:15. Jim: Alright.	Plan: A: corporate marketing; Q: Who did Michael not ask before he put "golden tickets" into boxes of paper? A: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory; Q: What movie inspired Michael to put golden tickets into boxes of paper for clients to redeem for a 10% discount for the entire year? A: the same big client; Q: What does Michael's idea cause trouble for Dunder Mifflin when all five tickets end up with? A: David; Q: Who is angry with Michael for his idea? A: the blame; Q: What does Michael try to pin on Dwight? A: differing advice; Q: What does Andy, Jim, and Pam give Kevin on wooing Lynn? A: the Valentine's mixer; Q: Where did Kevin meet Lynn? Summary: Without asking corporate marketing, Michael goes forth with an idea to put "golden tickets" into boxes of paper for clients to redeem for a 10% discount for the entire year, inspired by Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory . Instead, it causes trouble for Dunder Mifflin when all the five tickets end up with the same big client. David is angered, so Michael tries to pin the blame on Dwight. Andy, Jim, and Pam give Kevin differing advice on wooing Lynn, the woman he met at the Valentine's mixer.
Pam: We could get Deangelo flowers. Dwight: No, you can't get flowers for someone who's in a coma. They'll wilt before he wakes up. Phyllis: That's true. Jim: All in favor of the baskets full of chocolates, teddy bears, and balloons? [all but Dwight raise their hands] Dwight: Wait, wait. All in favor of the knapsack filled with canned goods, chainsaw, gasoline, and emergency radio in case he wakes up post-apocalypse? [Dwight raises his hand] Jim: Nope. Baskets have it. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: So as it turns out, unless you're a young child or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you. People just come in and do their work on their schedule. Imagine that - people like us allowed to sell paper. Unsupervised. [Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, and Oscar are working while Andy and Ryan play on a foosball table] And yet, somehow it works. It must be because the stakes are so high. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [on phone] Well, I really appreciate the offer, but I'm just happy the way things are. Okay. Thank you. [to Pam] That was Jo, asking me if I wanted to take over as acting manager while they find a replacement. I told her... I don't want to mess this up, right? There's a consensus, people are happy. Dwight: [on phone] Dwight Schrute. Yes, I would. Thank you. [hangs up] Jordan, gather my things from my desk. [Dwight walks to the manager's office, rubs the door frame, sits at the desk reverently] Jim: Wait... Pam: What have you done? Dwight [on phone]: Mose... you'll never guess where I am right now. Mose [on phone]: Aaaaahhhhh! [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Can't stay there all day. Jim: I'm coming. Pam: Do I at least get to go with you in this fantasy? Jim: You'd slow me down. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Dwight has been acting manager for three months now. No. A week. Just feels like three months. Let's see, we all have to punch in to a time clock, which is very old, very strong, and has a slot about the size of a finger. [Jim puts a pencil into the time clock and pulls it out broken in half] We were all given new business cards big enough to set us apart from the competition, which is how I learned that our titles are all now Junior Employee. Our lunch breaks are staggered to prevent wasting time. Mine's at 10:30, and I find that the first hour of the day goes by a lot quicker than the second seven hours. Pam: Stop stalling! Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] All: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation... All but Oscar: ...under God... All: ...indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. [Kevin finishes behind the rest of the group] Angela: Amen. Dwight: Excellent. Morning announcements! There's been a problem with some people sharing copier codes. Your copier code is a distinct 21-digit number that is unique to you, and you only, okay? Don't share it. [Kevin looks exasperated] Jo Bennett, our CEO, will be here today for a high-level meeting involving Gabe and myself. Erin: Ooh, about what? Dwight: That's on a need-to-know basis. Erin: I thought I needed to know for your calendar. Dwight: [quietly] General meet-and-greet. So I expect you to be on your best behavior, which means none of you will be insubordinate, nor will you foment insurrection. Jim: Question, if we already fomented insurrection, may we be grandfathered in? Dwight: Define foment. Jim: You define foment. Dwight: [clears throat] Please take note of the new color-coding system. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [surprising Kelly] Aha! Kelly: Oh my God, what is wrong with you? Dwight: Gotcha! Why are you late? Kelly: It's none of your business, actually. It's very medical and personal. Dwight: All right. You stop me when I reach the diseased area. [Dwight points to her legs and slowly moves his finger up, stopping at her mid-section] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: In fairness, Darryl did tell me that joke, so... Erin: Oh! Darryl's funny. Andy: I know, right? Gabe: Hey, Andy? Andy: Yeah? Gabe: Can I talk to you a second about these client memos? Andy: Sure. What's going on? [in room with Gabe] Gabe: Are you still in love with Erin? Andy: What? Gabe: Because I am. I need to get her back. [crying] I can't be alone anymore. Andy, do you like being alone with me right now? Andy: No, this is horrifying. Gabe: No. I don't like being alone with me either, okay? I have to get her back. Are you still gonna date her? Andy: We're just friends, okay? Gabe: Do you promise that? Andy: Yeah, fine, I promise. We'll never date again. Can we go outside now? Gabe: No, just give me a second. I don't want anyone to know I've been crying. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [seeing the Join the Fist flyers that Jim is hanging] Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing? What's this? What's the Fist? Jim: Oh, it's just a social club. You know, like the French Revolution, or the Black Panthers, or communism. It's just a club. Guys talking, you know. Dwight: You expect me to believe that you're starting a rebellion? Jim: Nope. Social club. God, I hate when everybody calls us a rebellion. [Darryl enters and brandishes his fist, Jim returns the gesture] Dwight: Okay, you know what? I would love to join The Fist. Jim: And we would love to have you. But not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day, what with Operation Overthrow and everything, but I have noted it. [Dwight tears the sign down, Jim hangs two signs in its place] [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: [inputting numbers into the copier and holding up the line] One... [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: [refills his coffee near a sign that reads "Honor System[/b]: $0.50" with a camera pointed at it] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Pam, I have to show you this video. You're gonna love it. It's Beyonce falling with a fart mixed in. [buzzer to indicate a blocked web site] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I will never be happier than I am right now. I will also never be less happy. I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life. Because I am manager of the Scranton Branch of Dunder Mifflin. Acting Manager. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: [looking at empty vending machine] No food now? Someone has to do something about Dwight! Creed: He put some snacks in the freezer for us. Pam: You mean the frozen mice for the piranha? Creed: No. The blueberry Slurpee pouch. Phyllis: He means the ice pack. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: [on phone] 2:00 should probably be okay. I can either take your number or - [Gabe ends the call] Gabe: I'm sorry. This can't wait. Erin: He's just gonna call back. Gabe: Erin, I am in love with you. I don't believe in much, okay? I don't believe in horoscopes. I don't believe in Christmas. Uh, uh, I sure as hell don't believe in God. [Erin and Angela both look taken aback] Erin: [quietly] What? Gabe: Or maybe there's a God. I don't know. I mean, it's just not a guy with a long white beard. [Erin looks shocked] Or it could be. I mean, it's possible that that is exactly what - what God is. But for all of the disbelief [phone rings] I believe in us. I believe in love. You have made me believe that for all of the hokum [phone continues ringing] out... there... uh, do we not have voicemail? Erin: Dwight doesn't trust robots to give us our messages. Gabe: Well... it's just... [ringing] it messes up my rhythm. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: I'm taking a break from dating. Gabe was a great guy with so many wonderful qualities, but it was a challenge being touched by him. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Wow, you've really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic. Dwight: Ah, Jim, Jim, Jim. The gun is a Beaumont-Adams. Jo collects them. I thought we could have some nice small talk about it. And the piranha's a rescue. Jim: And the desk. Dwight: The desk is a replica of Uday Hussein's desk. I saw a picture in Newsweek. Listen, I'm a very busy man. Let's get right down to business. Jim: Okay. Dwight: Jo is coming later today. I cannot have a subordinate trying to make me look stupid. Okay? I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior. Jim: I promise...d other people that I would be on my worst behavior. And I gave them my word, so... Dwight: Don't make me fire you. Jim: You can't fire me. You're acting manager. Not office manager. So you have no firing powers. Dwight: Don't make me pre-fire you. Jim: You wouldn't dare. Dwight: Watch this. You're pre-fired. And when I'm promoted, you'll be full fired. Jim: [quietly] If you get promoted, and if you haven't fallen in love with me by then. Dwight: What? [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: If I had thought that there was a real chance that Dwight would be permanent manager, I would have pre-quit. And you might be saying to yourself, "Well that's pretty premature to think," but I always say, it's better to be pre-pre-preprepared. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: How you doing, Jordan? Jordan: I'm good. Dwight: Everyone here thinks that you're a joke. They think that you were hired because of your good looks, which won't last long anyway. As your pale skin and severe bone structure imply, you'll age swiftly and poorly. Jordan: Why are you telling me this? Dwight: Now I want you to find out what people are saying about me, things they don't want me to know abou-[Dwight opens a box and sits down in shock] Ohh... it's a holster. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [walking around the office with the holster around his waist] Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Lookin' good. [grunts] Ohh... [stretching out his arms to better indicate the gun and holster] Oh, what a day. What a day. Pam: Dwight, are you carrying a gun? Dwight: The holster was a gift from my great-uncle Honk. Um, I don't know. I guess he's saying that he's proud of me. Andy: Dwight, guns make me really uncomfortable. Dwight: The gun is just an accessory to the holster, okay? I can't walk around wearing an empty holster. Pam: Why do you need to wear the holster at all? Dwight: Why do you need to keep wearing those booby shirts all the time? Angela: Thank you. Phyllis: You could put your cell phone in it instead. Dwight: Uh... hello! [indicates his phone clipped onto his belt] Kevin: You could put a banana in it. Dwight: Why would I put a banana in my holster? Kevin: In case you weren't hungry now, but you got hungry later. Pam: Dwight, no gun, okay? Don't make us call Jo. Dwight: Okay. All right. Fine. Everyone calm down. Someone get me a banana. Sorry I freaked you guys out - aah! [Dwight goes to flip the gun and it fires near Andy's ear, making everyone jump] Erin: Andy! Andy: Aah! Aah! It's so loud! [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: My God. There is a hardwood floor underneath this carpeting. Why would they do that? Andy: [trying to find a pitch] Eeeeeeee... There's like this crazy ringing going on. I can't - eeeeeee... I can't find perfect C. Meredith: Okay, everyone make a list of what's lost for the insurance. I lost a necklace, a ring, a painting- Toby: Hey, what happened? Kelly: Dwight went on a shooting spree, and then he shot Andy in the head. Dwight: No, no, no. All we know is that a gun fired. That's all we know! No. That's not true. Actually, we heard a loud noise. Later, a hole was seen. No one saw the bullet leave the gun. Andy: [scatting off-key] Something's definitely wrong. Oscar: I'll look on WebMD. What are your symptoms? Angela: Oh, everybody. Oscar found a reason to look on WebMD. Oscar: [buzzer to indicate a blocked site] Firewall. Gabe: I can't reach Jo. She must already be on the plane. Dwight: Okay, why are you calling Jo? Andy: I think I should go the hospital. Erin: I'll go with you. Gabe: No! We really shouldn't be without a receptionist. Now more than ever. Darryl: I'll take him. Andy: Thank you, Darryl. [Andy limps out of his chair and leans on Darryl for support] Darryl: What's wrong with you? Andy: It's my ear. Darryl: Yeah. Andy: Okay, sorry. Toby: [excitedly] Oh, I should get the accident report binder. I've never used the gun violence forms before. Gabe: I'm gonna keep trying Jo. Dwight: Okay, everyone! Conference room, right now! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [enters with a cowboy hat, speaking with a Western accent] Yee-haw! Whoo-hoo! [imitates gunfire] Howdy, partners! It's me, Gun-Safety Dwight! And I'm the rootin'-est-- [removes hat] I can't do this. Um, look. Obviously, a gun went off under my watch, and I'm launching a full investigation. Stanley: We all saw you do it. Dwight: Really? You did? What hand was I holding the gun in? What did Andy's tie look like? Erin: Navy blue. Little red anchors. Dwight: I have no way of knowing if that's true. Toby: I am supposed to collect eyewitness accounts. Who saw Dwight do this? [all raise their hands] Dwight: Okay, really? Toby: Would you consider this a terrorist incident? Ryan: I felt terrorized. Dwight: Come on. Toby: Oh, there's a whole 'nother terrorism booklet for that. Dwight: I just really, really think we should handle this internally. Ryan: Dwight, why is it on us to protect you? Dwight: Because you guys are my best friends, and I mean that. Managing you for this last week has been the greatest honor of my life. And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground. And I mean that figuratively. Not literally. Because you guys are so... so important... to me. I love you guys. But don't cross me. But you're the best. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Hey. [Erin gasps] We're back. Dwight: There he is! Our hero! [Both Dwight and Erin move to hug Andy] You look fantastic. How you doing? Here, tell us your war stories. Andy: Well, I burst my eardrum. Doctor said it could take weeks to heal. Dwight: Did they say what caused it? Because I know you like putting Q-tips deep into your ear canal. Andy: Yeah. Phyllis: How's your hearing? Andy: Temporary deafness in one ear. It was both ears. I couldn't hear a thing Darryl was saying while we were in the waiting room. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: I was talking like this. [mouths words while pointing to his ear] I don't feel good about it, but he just kept calling himself a gunshot victim and it got to me. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: Dwight, I would like tomorrow off so that I can go on my American Idol audition. Dwight: American Idol? What? No. Kelly: Okay. I guess I can just not go. Do you guys wanna hear my solo? Dwight: No. Kelly: [singing] Why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree? Dwight: Okay, fine. You can go on your singing audition. Phyllis: Okay, well, then I want an extra vacation day. Angela: Pet Day! I want Pet Day back - no dogs. Kevin: Put back everything in the vending machine except the fruit. Dwight: I put everything back in the vending machine. Kevin: Put everything back in the vending machine except... the fruit. Pam: You have to get rid of all your weapons. All of them. Including killer fish. Dwight: Okay. Jim: Oh, is it my turn? Ooh, I'm on the spot. I don't know. Um... you know what? I think I'm good. Dwight: Thank God. Jim: Nope. When Jo's here, can you work in "Shagadelic, baby," at least three times in a conversation? Oh, and when I cough can you do jazz hands? Dwight: What's jazz hands? Jim: [quickly shakes his hands back and forth] Dwight: Fine. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [leaves the men's room with an empty fish tank after flushing the toilet] Kevin: [after entering the men's room] What the [bleep] is that? [runs out of the bathroom] Oh, my... [SCENE_BREAK] Jo: Hey, all! Cornelius, Bobo, have at it. Nobody let my dogs hump each other. They don't seem to know they're brothers. Dwight: Hello, Jo. Welcome. Well, shall we begin? Jo: Slow yourself down there. Just like a man. Wants to jump right into it while I still got my socks on. Jim Halpert - the only man that ever turned me down. Jim: Well, I don't know about that. Just wasn't for me. But let me assure you, Dwight is firing on all cylinders. Right? Jo: Well, some pretty big shoes to fill. I was sorry to hear about Deangelo. He was a good man. Tragic. [Jim coughs] Dwight: [does jazz hands, Jo notices and eyes him oddly] Well, what can you do? Life. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: We have to clean this up now! Erin: She had so much - Gabe: Hey, guys. Erin: Hey. Gabe: Hope I'm not interrupting anything. Andy: No! [Erin and Andy laugh] Gabe: Hey, Andy, did you tell Erin about our conversation earlier when you said you would never want to date her again? Andy: Uh... Gabe: I just thought that it was so interesting that you promised that. Andy: Did I say that earlier? Yes, I did. Because you, Gabe, were crying... Gabe: No, I was not. Andy: And sobbing uncontrollably. Yes. Uh-huh. You were in hysterics. And my maternal instincts kicked in. Is it actually how I feel? Yes. Or no. That is... between me and my diary. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Oscar, can you print out last year's sale statements? Kevin: Hey, Dwight, gimme a back massage. Dwight: No, Kevin, come on. Kevin: My back is sore, Dwight. Massage it. Dwight: Kevin, not now. Kevin: Hey, Jo! Dwight: Okay, okay. Shh! [Dwight begins rubbing his shoulders] Kevin: No, under the jacket. Dwight: You're kidding me. [reaches under Kevin's jacket] Oh God, what am I touching? It's moist. Kevin: I don't feel anything. Dwight: Oh, it's so wet. Kevin: Push harder, Dwight. Dwight: I can't. I can't push harder! Kevin: Go a little higher. There you go. Nope, higher. Higher. [Dwight has positioned his feet on the filing cabinet behind Kevin and is kneading his back horizontally] Dwight: Okay, how's that? Kevin: Knead it. Knead it like a pizza. Dwight: I'm kneading it! Kevin: Don't eat it. Jo: Dwight! Walk me out. Let's talk soon. And stay on top of these people. You gotta admit it - it's nice to have a little power, eh? How's it feel? Dwight: Jo... I accidentally fired a gun in the office today. Jo: What?! Dwight: I am telling you this because I care too much about this job to be blackmailed into doing it poorly. All I've ever wanted was to be manager here. And if you feel that you cannot promote me over this one accident, I understand. But if you think that extortion is worse - Jo: Shooting is worse! Are you kidding me? It's not even in the same - you shot a gun? What is wrong with you? Dwight: It was a Beaumont-Adams, if that helps. Jo: Beaumont-Adams is a girl's gun. That just makes it plain stupid. Dwight: I take full responsibility. Jo: Who else would be responsible? Dwight: Pam made me put a banana in my holster. Pam: You shot a gun off - Dwight: Okay. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Do I regret the decision that I made? Yes. Jo: Oh, stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius. Dwight: Got it. Jo: I love you, Dwight. But you don't fit this job. Dwight: [on the verge of tears] Jo, please... I will - Jo: No, child. No. It's over. Now I gotta find a replacement for my replacement. [SCENE_BREAK] Jo: You three are my search committee. You're in charge of finding me my next manager. All righty? Gabe: Yep. Jim: Yep. Jo: Till then, we need a new acting manager. Now, who's got the most experience in this office? Toby: Uh, well, we probably don't want to go just on seniority. Jo: Who is it? [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Hey, Dwight. What's up? Dwight: Shut up. Jim: Well, you do know that Jo was right to take the job away from you, right? There's no debating that. But, I will say... in your one week, every single one of the orders went out on time. And I think that is shagadelic, baby. [Dwight sees Creed claiming the desk in the manager's office] [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: [giving Kevin numbers for the copier] Four, one, seven, one... Kevin: Another one? Darryl and Angela: Yes! Angela: Seven, two... Oscar: Could you turn the volume down on the beeping? Angela: Six, nine, shut up, Oscar. Eight... Darryl: Nine first. Angela: Nine, eight, five... Kevin: Thank you. Angela: Three, zero, zero. Again, zero. Four, six... Kevin: Nice. Angela: Two, one... Kevin: Oh, I hit three. I hit three. Angela: God!	Plan: A: the interim regional manager; Q: What does Dwight become? A: a typically heavy-handed management style; Q: What does Dwight institute as regional manager? A: Gabe; Q: Who tries to win back Erin? Summary: Dwight becomes the interim regional manager, instituting a typically heavy-handed management style. Meanwhile, Gabe tries to win back Erin.
THE TRIAL OF A TIME LORD PART SIX (MINDWARP) Run time: 24:45 [SCENE_BREAK] Operating room [SCENE_BREAK] Sil: Doctor, we have the means to instill cooperation. There's the technology to alter how brains think. Would you like to try the helmet on for size? The Doctor: Not just now, thanks. Sil: But I insist, Doctor. Our warrior king must have completed his advancement cycle. You must replace him so we may coax the truth from your devious brain. The Doctor: I am sufficiently advanced already. Sil: Silence! Or you will be obliterated. Sil: Now, the Raak didn't attack you, did he. The Doctor: Yes, it did. Sil: Can you use the helmet to extract the truth of what happened? Crozier: I've never tried. It could be fatal, used as a means of interrogation. Sil: The Doctor won't mind donating his sanity to the advancement of science, will you, Doctor? Yrcanos: You there! Sil: Don't shoot him! We need him alive sign contracts! Yrcanos: Murder me, do you? Slime! Demon! Sorcerer! Yrcanos: Don't be afraid. I've taken the brain purge and survived. Sil: Stop him! Stop him! Stop him! Yrcanos: Die! Yrcanos: Rombrom ssssssss sabaluma. [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnel [SCENE_BREAK] Peri: Can we rest a moment? Oh, Doctor. Doctor! Yrcanos: Open a vein. Let out the evil those devils have put into him. Peri: Oh, it's Peri. Peri! The Doctor: So far up above myself on the table down below. Yrcanos: Sorcerers. Evil demons. Soul stealers. They have my equerry Dorf in a dungeon somewhere. We must release him or die in the attempt. Were you captured by the slugs who rule this ball of mud and water? Peri: Yes. Yrcanos: We must find some weapons. Some of those that turn one's enemies to slime. We must kill all who stand between us and victory. We'll grind every last slug beneath our feet, yes? Peri: Yes. Look, I just want to get out of here. Yrcanos: We must raise an army and attack and destroy the Mentors, yes? Peri: Yes, sure, anything you say. Yrcanos: Come on. Your mind will soon clear. We'll pile the heads of our enemies before us, like melons in a heap. The Doctor: I would enjoy that. Peri: What? Yrcanos: I like him. We will campaign together. But first, we must march. What is his name? Peri: The Doctor. Yrcanos: Rrrrrrrsssssssss! I am Yrcanos, King of the Krontep, Lord of the Vingten, Conqueror of the Tonkonp Empire. But you no doubt know this. Peri: Well, we caught some of it about round seven. Yrcanos: Your name and title? Peri: Perpugilliam, of the Brown. Yrcanos: The Brown, eh? And where is this place? Peri: Earth. Oh, you'd like it there. Lots of madmen playing at warriors and actors playing over the top in politics. Yrcanos: Politics? Peri: Yakety-yak. Talk. Yrcanos: Ah. (whistles) You mean war councils. Peri: Yes, I suppose so. I don't know, or want to know. Yrcanos: I would like to meet the mighty warriors of Earth. Peri: Yeah, well, you'd get on pretty well, Yrcanos. Yrcanos: You are promised to such a one? Him? Peri: Certainly not. Yrcanos: Hmm. That is good. Peri: Well, I must help the Doctor. Peri: Come on, Doc. Wake up. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: I don't remember that. I can't recall anything after the power flooded through my brain. Valeyard: That is your defence now, is it? Amnesia, forgetfulness. This is a tactic, Sagacity, because the Doctor knows what the Matrix will show. Inquisitor: Is that your defence, Doctor? The Doctor: What? Inquisitor: Amnesia. The Doctor: No, er... Inquisitor: Your mind has cleared from being taken out of time? The Doctor: As far as I can tell. Inquisitor: Then obviously there must be some other reason . Valeyard: He lies, Sagacity. The Doctor: I do not! Valeyard: Then you're in for a surprise, aren't you, my dear Doctor. An exceedingly nasty one, if your memory is as fallible as you pretend. [SCENE_BREAK] Operating room [SCENE_BREAK] Kiv: We must have the transformer operable. How can we rule without its influence? Crozier: Everything will be fixed well before your servants begin to understand their situation. Kiv: Never mind them, what of my predicament? The pain in my head increases. Crozier: I've told you it will. Your brain will continue to grow until... Kiv: What? Crozier: Your skull is not designed to allow for increase in brain power and size. That's the trouble with mutations and hybrids like you. Your cranium is too thick. It lacks elasticity, hence the pain. Kiv: Yes. Crozier: Unless I can operate soon, you will suffer fatal brain compression in a few days. Kiv: You were brought to Thoros Beta to rectify that, to give me new life. Crozier: My lord, the Doctor has the answers I need. Did the Raak attack them, or did they slaughter the creature first? If the Raak did attack, he must have reverted on my cerebral transfer experiment and the surgery I hoped to apply to you, Lord Kiv, will not be successful. Kiv: Words! Excuses! This is a conspiracy to stop my life being prolonged. Sil: The intruders will be caught. They will answer Crozier's questions or be killed. Kiv: Or I will, thanks to your bungling, Sil. Sil: Not mine, Magnificence. His! All I want is to share in the light of your intelligence and profit from its shining wisdom. Kiv: Please... Sil: The Mentors of Thoros Beta need your genius for cosmic mega-profit. Those Alphans, whose stars have decreed that they serve you, simply adore the sight of you... Kiv: Enough, Sil! What, do you intend to talk me to death? Sil: I will pray to the Great Morgo for your immediate recovery, Magnificence. Kiv: You will do better than that. If the Doctor has the answers, you will find him, or you both will share my death with me. I can only stand this pain for one more day. One day! That is all you both have. Now do something! Sil: At once, Magnificence. Bear me away. Bear me away! Come on, faster! Bear me away faster, faster. [SCENE_BREAK] Induction centre [SCENE_BREAK] Computer: Subject accepted. Proceed with implantation. Sil: Well, have they been caught yet? Frax: No, Mentor. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Induction centre [SCENE_BREAK] Yrcanos: Stay, stay. [SCENE_BREAK] Induction centre [SCENE_BREAK] Computer: We need a new recipient. Reject. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Induction centre [SCENE_BREAK] Peri: What's going on? Yrcanos: They bring all new slaves here, but what is more important, my lady, they have weapons. The Doctor: Weapons! Peri: Shush. Yrcanos: Liquefiers that we must obtain quietly. Peri: We? That includes me, huh? Yrcanos: On my planet of Krontep, a warrior queen fights alongside her king. Peri: We're not on your planet. Yrcanos: It doesn't matter, the rule still applies. [SCENE_BREAK] Induction centre [SCENE_BREAK] Sil: Which corridors and tunnels have not yet been searched? Frax: Only those that lead to the Sea of Turmoil. Sil: Then search them, profitless fool! The Doctor: Look out behind you. Yrcanos: Traitorous Doctor! Peri: Doctor, come here. The Doctor: No thanks. Peri: Doctor! Sil: Charge her down! Sil: Doctor, the pleasure of your company is, of course, infinite, but why have you chosen to warn us rather than help your friends? The Doctor: The odds were against us. Why should I risk my life for a savage and a stupid girl? Sil: So you betrayed your friends. How wonderfully wise, Doctor. The Doctor: I think so. Sil: You are planning some trickery, of course. This is a ploy, yes? The Doctor: Why should I follow a mad warlord of Thordon? What's in it for me, huh? Sil: You value your life? The Doctor: I'm no hero. Sil: I could have sworn you belonged to that stupid breed. The Doctor: Not any more. Now, I'm just like you, Sil. Sil: How nice for you, Doctor. Inform Crozier and the Lord Kiv that I have captured the Doctor. Sil: The turncoat Doctor, it seems. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: No! That is not me! Valeyard: Oh yes, it is. You were overcome by terror, Doctor. You had interfered yet again, and this time your one aim was to escape unscathed. You. You only. Your friends didn't matter. The Doctor: Never! Valeyard: You realise the Matrix of Time cannot lie. The Doctor: Can't it? Valeyard: I suggest you confess to your crimes and throw yourself on the mercy of this court. Inquisitor: Doctor? The Doctor: What? Mercy? No. No, there's something wrong. Of course. Sil was right. It was a ploy to fool the Mentors. Yes, clever old me. Let the Matrix show what it will. A clever ploy. You'll see. [SCENE_BREAK] Laboratory [SCENE_BREAK] Sil: He is lying. I do not trust him. The Doctor: Believe me, I'm telling the truth. I wouldn't lie, it's not in my nature. Crozier: He cannot know the reasons of our concern. The Doctor: The Raak attacked us first. Crozier: I believe him. I must redesign the behaviour modifier before I transfer the brain of Lord Kiv. Sil: Do you have time? Crozier: Not really. Sil: If the Lord Kiv dies, his bodyguards have instructions to destroy us. You must operate to save his life and ours. There's no more time for research. I will find a donor and you must operate. Crozier: What with? The warlord destroyed most of the transference circuitry. If it's repaired, I might attempt a temporary transplant. Sil: Kiv has allowed us only one more day! Crozier: I know. Sil: We pay you enough. We have given you a whole race of people to play with. The Doctor: Excuse me, I understand a little of your transference unit principle and I have some knowledge of technological malfunction. Is there a microcircuitry diagram? Sil: Guards, stop him! It's a trick! Crozier: Let him look. We've nothing to lose. Sil: Be certain that you are right, Crozier. The Doctor: Is there a module unit replacement or are these ganglion separators adaptable? Crozier: It's multifunctional. The Doctor: Ah, good. Hmm. Ah ha. Did you test the endrodyacen? Crozier: Not yet. The Doctor: Try it. Should respond to the lexifier now. Crozier: Well done! Sil: I find this anxiety to assist us, Doctor, highly suspicious. Crozier: Look, Sil, with both of us working on the BTU, we might just be able to operate on Kiv tomorrow. Sil: Or on someone else first. After all, we will need a body donor. Yes, Doctor? [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnel [SCENE_BREAK] Frax: I see you have found the heart of our energy supply. Peri: It's very impressive, although I would have thought it warranted a guard. Frax: As a rule, intruders never get this far, although I shall put your suggestion to the Great Kiv. Peri: You do that. And while you're about it, pass this on as well. Yrcanos: Down, dog! Dorf: Your majesty. Your majesty. Yrcanos: Dorf? My equerry Dorf? Not you. What have they done? What? Dorf: Help me. Help me. Yrcanos: Yes. Still. Still. Hold. Yrcanos: We will kill the sorcerers. I swear by the great jewelled sword of Krontep, you will be revenged. Come. [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] Yrcanos: This way, Dorf! [SCENE_BREAK] Room [SCENE_BREAK] Matrona: Did they reject you at the induction centre, or did you escape? I should inform the guards, have you sent to Thoros Alpha. Peri: There's an alternative? Matrona: You were to serve the Mentors and their favoured creatures. Now, I control the women servants, and for that I need help. Loyal help. Peri: I'd serve you? Why? Matrona: I prefer some individuality in my household. However, should you be discovered as an escaped reject, I'll deny this meeting took place. What is your name? Peri: Peri. Matrona: Do you wish to serve me, Peri? Peri: What have I got to lose, huh? Matrona: You must call me Matrona. Peri: Matrona. Matrona: Come, let us prepare you. [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnel [SCENE_BREAK] Yrcanos: We've lost them. Dorf: Kill me! Kill me! Yrcanos: Kill you? You are Dorf of Kanval. Whatever's happened to your body, your spirit must remain the same. Now, die if you must, but do it in battle. Keep that hatred burning within you for when you find the man who has done this to you. There is one who has betrayed me. Dorf: No! Yrcanos: Yes! I have a special death reserved for him. He's a traitor known as the Doctor. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Commerce room [SCENE_BREAK] Matrona: You will enter when summoned, but not before. The rest of you, come with me. [SCENE_BREAK] Commerce room [SCENE_BREAK] Crozier: Matrona, bring Lord Kiv's ambiotic fluid immediately. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Commerce room [SCENE_BREAK] Matrona: Come, you have the medication. Peri: I can't go in there. Matrona: Do you wish me to denounce you? Then obey the call. There's nothing to fear. I shall go first. [SCENE_BREAK] Commerce room [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: You, girl. Here. I don't like this drink. Bring me another. Matrona: Say yes, my lord. Peri: Yes, my lord. Kiv: That is better. The pain eases. Stay near me. You I trust. Matrona: The Lord Kiv does me great honour. Kiv: Tomorrow I must trust my life to the man of science, Crozier. Matrona: I'm sure the operation will be successful, my lord. Kiv: Ha. Equal odds to live or die. I have no choice. Sil: Matrona Kani, see that the Lord Kiv is served only the most wrigglesome of youthful sand snakes. Matrona: I don't need you to tell me that, Sil. The Doctor: What is in this drink? Peri: I was just given it. Something different, you said, Doctor. Kiv: What has happened? How does this servitor know of your title? The Doctor: An enemy, my lord. The girl who ran away earlier. She may have been trying to poison us all. Peri: Doctor... Sil: Of course! The repulsive one. Arrest her. She must be interrogated thoroughly. Take her to the Rock of Sorrows. Peri: Doctor, help me! The Doctor (O.C.): That's the ploy. I remember now. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: The ploy was to remove us both from the heart of the Mentor's control section. I gambled that after I'd helped them fix the cerebral transference unit, they might trust me to question Peri alone. Valeyard: To what end? The Doctor: Escape, I should imagine. Inquisitor: Did the interrogation take place? Valeyard: It did, Sagacity. Inquisitor: I should like to see that sequence. [SCENE_BREAK] Rock of Sorrows [SCENE_BREAK] Peri: What do you want? The Doctor: The Mentor Sil fears a conspiracy against the Lord Kiv. You are a spy for the Alphans. Peri: What? No, stop this! The Doctor: It's all right, we're alone now. We can talk. Peri: Oh, Doctor, I thought that brain transference pulse had made you crazy. The Doctor: I'm your friend, you know that. Peri: I was beginning to wonder. The Doctor: I'm here to help you. Peri: How do I get out of this? The Doctor: By telling me who the Alphans are that are leading the unrest and where they can be annihilated. Peri: What? The Doctor: Tell me! Peri: But I don't know anything! The Doctor: Answer me. The tide is on the turn. Unless you want to add your own despair to the Sea of Sorrows, I suggest that you tell me everything. [SCENE_BREAK] Commerce room [SCENE_BREAK] Sil: Just like in the old days. There's nothing more enjoyable that watching people suffer. [SCENE_BREAK] Rock of Sorrows [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Confess. Peri: Confess? Confess to what? The Doctor: Your guilt, your bungling, your Alphan friends. Everything! You must help the Mentors, Peri. You must help me. Peri: Doctor, what's wrong with you? The Doctor: I see my own interests. I place myself first. Peri: But what about me? The Doctor: You are expendable. You have no value. Tomorrow, they intend to take the brain of the Lord Kiv and transplant it into my body. He will possess my body! To prevent that, I must please the Mentors, Peri. If that means sacrificing you in my place, then that is the way it must be. Crozier (O.C.): Enough! Do not damage her! We have more effective ways of interrogation. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: It was never like that. Valeyard: How can you be certain? You have no clear memory of the incident. And as we all know, the Matrix never lies. The Doctor: I wonder. Inquisitor: May we continue? I do grow tired of these constant interruptions. The Doctor: But it was never like that. Inquisitor: Enough, Doctor. The Matrix does not lie. It cannot lie. You are aware of that fact, so why persist in these silly statements? Inquisitor: Let us proceed. [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnel [SCENE_BREAK] Dorf: The Doctor. Do we attack? Yrcanos: Of course. That dreg helping the Mentor's warriors is my enemy. [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] Peri: What's happened to you, Doctor? Why do you hate me so? The Doctor: I must do what I think is best. Peri: I used to think that you were different, that you cared for justice and truth and good. I can't bear to look at what you are now. Yrcanos: Now, Doctor, it is your turn to die.	Plan: A: the Valeyard; Q: Who presents events to the Doctor and the Time Lords? A: the Doctor; Q: Who does not remember the events of the Valeyard? A: Matrona; Q: Who allows Peri to join Mentor's servants? A: the guard; Q: Who does Matrona want to protect Peri from? A: the Doctor's behavior; Q: What becomes more erratic as the Doctor tries to mislead Dr. Crozier? Summary: As the Valeyard presents events to the Doctor and the Time Lords, the Doctor informs them that he does not remember the events occurring. Peri encounters Matrona who allows her to join Mentor's servants in order to protect her from the guard. As things progress, the Doctor's behavior becomes more erratic as he trys to mislead Dr. Crozier.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Derek: Everyone around me gets hurt. Deaton: Mountain ash is some of what you'll use to create the barrier. Deucalion: The only way to protect one person is to kill another. Chris: A certain level of electric current can keep me from transforming. Aah! Ethan: Derek killed one of ours. Either he joins our pack, or Kali goes after him, and we kill him. Melissa: Okay, keep pressure on it. The doctor's on her way. And does anyone know where Dr. Hilyard is? Oh, thank God. I'm starving. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you for bringing me dinner. Scott: Is everything okay? Melissa: Except for half the accident victims in a ten car pile-up being rerouted here from downtown, and the E.R. attending not answering any of his pages, yeah, I'm okay. Scott: What does not answering pages mean? Melissa: It means that nobody can find him, so now we have to wait for the on call to get here. Patient: Miss. Melissa: Yes? Patient: Excuse me, can I kind of please have something for the pain? Melissa: Okay, I'm sorry. I know. But, actually, giving you something could complicate things, so we really just need to wait for the doctors. Okay? Patient: Yeah. Melissa: Okay. How much longer on Dr. Hilyard? Clinic Receptionist: Ten minutes. Scott: Uh, you know, I think that I read online that sometimes human contact can help with pain. Ethan: Someone... Someone help me! Oh, I need help! Dr Hilyard: It's Dr. Hilyard again. Can you let Melissa know that it may be more than ten minutes? I think there's an accident up ahead. Clinic Receptionist: Yeah, a ten car pile-up, which is why we need you here. Dr Hilyard: I'm going as fast as I can. Melissa: Okay, gentle, gentle, gentle! Scott: What did you do to him? Ethan: Nothing. He said he was having chest pains and trouble breathing, but it... it just kept getting worse. Melissa: This is not good. How much longer on Dr. Hilyard? His larynx has shifted to the side. I think it's a tension pneumothorax. Scott: Mistletoe. Melissa: Can you two please go back to the waiting room? Ethan: Where are the nurses and the doctors? Where is everyone? Melissa: It's a full house tonight. They're tending to other patients. Scott: Okay, well, mom, how can we help? Melissa: Honey, you can't. His lung is collapsed. His heart is being pushed against his chest cavity, so... Scott: He's gonna die, isn't he? Melissa: No. No, he's not. Scott, you grab the tape. You grab those scissors and cut his shirt open. Okay. Scott: Mom, he's not breathing. Melissa: I know, I know. Okay. Dr Hilyard: How did you get in? Melissa: Okay, here we go. Danny: Thank you. Melissa: No problem. What? Scott: That was awesome. Melissa: It was no problem, you know? I mean, it wasn't a big deal. Ethan: I know you're not gonna believe me, but I didn't do anything. Scott: All I know is that the minute that you got here, you went right for Danny, and your brother went for Lydia. Ethan: We're not gonna hurt him. Scott: Why should I believe you? Ethan: Because we knew one of them was gonna a be important to you, and now we know it's Lydia. What is it? Scott: So what are you saying? Sheriff: Hang on, hang on. They were both in the car? Stiles: No, dad, they're trying to tell you that it was two separate kidnappings, okay? Two doctors, both gone. Sheriff: So whose car is this? Melissa: Dr. Hilyard, the on-call doctor. The E.R. attending is the one that never made it in. Sheriff: Let me just focus on getting your story first, all right? Melissa: Yeah. Sheriff: Boys, give us a second. Scott: These are definitely sacrifices, right? Stiles: Yeah, it's the one Deaton Healers. Scott: What about Danny? He threw up mistletoe. That's not a coincidence, and if he hadn't been with Ethan, he probably would've died. Danny's not a healer. I... Stiles: Can you hear that? Scott: They found a body. Cora: What does it mean? Derek: It means they're coming... Tonight. Melissa: Really, boys? Boys! What do you think you're doing? Issac: Uh, we were watching over you. Scott: We wanted to make sure you weren't the third sacrifice. Melissa: But both of you were asleep. Scott: You were on watch last. Isaac: What are you talking about? You were on watch last. Scott: No, you were on watch last. Isaac: I might've been on watch last. Melissa: My heroes. Wait, didn't you say that they were all doctors? I mean, I haven't had an M.D. Recently attached to the end of my name, so I think I'm in the clear. Scott: Yeah, but it could just come under any kind of healer, mom, and you were definitely a healer last night. Melissa: Yeah, well, I'm not gonna be anyone's human sacrifice today, so both of you get your butts to school. Jennifer: Good morning. As you all know, Mr. Harris is still missing... I mean, sick. Anyway, I'm filling in while we all hope and pray for a more qualified substitute to take my place. Okay, so let's get started, shall we? Stiles: Hey, my dad said that the E.R. attending wasn't strangled but did die from asphyxiation. They just don't know how. Scott:Do you think the on-call doctor could still be alive? Stiles: I don't know... But, Scott, there's got to be at least 20 other doctors in that hospital... at least, you know? Any one of them could be next. Scott: Hey, doc. Sorry, I'm in class right now. Can I call you back later? Deaton: Unfortunately, no. I honestly thought I might never have to burden you like this, but I'm afraid, at the moment, you're my only hope. I'm going to be taken. I need you to find me. Scott: Doc, doc, doc, doc? What's happening? Derek: Go back to school. Isaac: Well, actually, we can't. Boyd and I are incredibly and unbelievably sick. Derek: With what, brain damage? Isaac: Well, I have a migraine, and, uh, Boyd here has explosive diarrhea. Boyd: We're here to protect you. Derek: You're here to protect me? Well, I'm in trouble then. Isaac: Actually, Boyd here came up with a plan. Boyd: Yeah, I thought about the time Gerard had me and Erica locked up, tied up with electrical wires pushing current through us. I was wondering how we could do something like that... But on a bigger scale. Scott: How did you know? Sheriff: Stiles called me as soon as you left school. I'm sorry. Your boss's car is still here, and the back door was wide open. Scott... I need you to tell me everything. Boyd: In a pool of electrified water, it can take up to 50 milliamps to kill a normal human, less than the power it takes to turn on a light bulb. Derek: That's comforting. Boyd: If we disable the circuit interrupter in the building's electrical room, the current will keep coming, and anyone who steps foot in here, they'll get a pretty shocking surprise. Isaac: Especially someone who's barefoot. Sheriff: All right, we're doing everything we can. Right now, the best thing you can do is go back to school. Scott: We have to tell him. Stiles: You mean, like, tell him, tell him, or tell him something else that isn't telling him what I think you want to tell him? Scott: You know what I mean. Stiles: You remember how your mom reacted? She didn't look you in the eye for, like, a week. Scott: And she got over it, and... and it actually made us closer. Stiles: I don't know, dude. I mean, look at him. Come on, he's completely overwhelmed as it is. Scott: He's overwhelmed because he has no clue what's happening. He's got people dying in his town, the town that he's supposed to protect, and it's not his fault that he doesn't know what's happening. He's gonna find out sooner or later. Stiles: Yeah, but is now really the right time? Scott: What if not telling him now gets someone else killed? Stiles: What if telling him gets him killed, huh? I mean, okay, look, I get that Deaton's been like a father to you. I get that, okay? But this is m... Scott, this is my actual father. I can't... I can't lose both of my parents, all right? Not both of them. Scott: You're right. Stiles: No, I'm not. I'm not right. I'll tell him. Scott: I'll help you. Ms Morrell: Please, whatever you need, however you can help find my brother. Sheriff: Will you excuse us for a moment? Ma Morrell: Okay, listen closely, both of you. No sheriff, deputy, or Detective is going to be able to find him. Scott: You don't have to ask us for help. Ms Morrell: Actually, I'm trying to help you, because, if you're going to find my brother, then you need to use the one person who might actually have an ability to seek out the supernatural. Stiles: Lydia. Aiden: Aw, man. Where you going? Lydia: It's a fire alarm. Aiden: When in high school has a fire alarm actually been a real fire? Lydia: That's exactly the kind of thing you'd expect two dumbass students to say just before getting burned alive. You first. Go. [SCENE_BREAK] Cora: You don't have very good taste in guys, do you? Melissa: Hey. It's Dr. Hilyard, isn't it? Sheriff: Yeah. Melissa: Oh, God. Okay. Did she have ligature marks around her throat? Sheriff: No. How do you know about that? Melissa: I need you to take a look at the other body with me. I think I know how they both died, and I think it's gonna help you find Scott's boss. Lydia: Is there a problem? Cora: Yeah, Derek would like to kindly ask you to stop seeing Aiden, which means that if I catch you with him again, I'm not going to pull the fire alarm. I'm going to pull your tongue out of your head. Lydia: Sweetheart, my last boyfriend was a homicidal lizard, so I think I can handle a werewolf. Let go. I said... Stiles: Let go. She said, let go. Lydia: A ouija board? Also called a spirit board, and it's worth a shot. Lydia: A shot in the dark. Stiles: Could you just try it, please, okay? Let's not forget who this is for... Scott's boss, the guy who has saved our collective asses on more than one occasion. Cora: Oh, wait, should we all do this? Stiles: Yeah, yeah. You guys ready? Lydia: Yeah. Cora: Yes. Stiles: Where's Dr. Deaton? Lydia: What? Stiles: Aren't you gonna answer it? Lydia: Oh, I don't know the answer. I thought we were asking some sort of spirit. Cora: Well, do you know any spirits? Lydia: Is she for real? Deucalion: Do you know what a metronome is, Scott? It's a tool to help you maintain a steady rhythm once you've set the tempo. Something tells me the tempo of your life has sped up considerably in the last few hours. If you'd like, I could help slow it down to a more manageable pace. Scott: How? Deucalion: By helping you find Deaton. Stiles: Okay, these are Deaton's keys for the clinic. Close you're eyes, and I'm gonna put 'em in your hand, and then we're just gonna try and see if you can feel out for his location. It's called psychometry. Lydia: I'm not a psychic. Stiles: You're something! Okay? Just, Lydia, put out your hand, and... Lydia: Hmm. Stiles: What? Lydia: They're cold. Stiles: Lydia, concentrate, please? Trying to save lives here, for the love of God. Yeah, what is it? What do you see? Lydia: Nothing. Deucalion: Your heart's pounding, but it's not fear. It's anger. I bet I know what you're thinking. Does he have something to do with Deaton's disappearance? Tell you what. If you can take the cane away from me, I'll tell you exactly where he is. Now, what do you think? Impressive, but you know I'm not the one slashing up innocent people, praying to ancient gods or gathering herbs, or whatever the hell druids are supposed to do. I am part of a pack that wants Derek dead, though. Kali is coming him for him, so there's a difficult choice you're about to face, because someone is going to die tonight, and whether that's Derek or Deaton, that's up to you. Scott: Just tell me where he is. Deucalion: I'll give you a very important clue. Let the current guide you. Lydia: Automatic writing? Stiles: Lydia, what are you doing? What... what the hell is that? Lydia: A tree. Stiles: A tr Lydia, you're supposed to be writing words, like in sentences, something like a location, something that would tell us where he is. Lydia: Well, maybe you should've said that. Cora: Isn't she supposed to be some kind of genius? Lydia: Genius? Yes. Psychic, no. Honestly, I don't know why you're even bothering with me anyway. I mean, especially since it's obvious you should be talking to Danny. Stiles: What? Why Danny? Scott: Because... Last night, he was a target. But it wasn't a sacrifice. Melissa: The problem with no ligature marks around the neck is that both doctors were still asphyxiated, so the question is... Sheriff: How did they suffocate if they weren't strangled? Melissa: Right. Now, take a look at the wrist marks. What do they tell you? Sheriff: His hands were tied. Melissa: Not just tied. Look how deep they go. I don't think that's just from struggling to get out. I think he was suspended. Hanging like that, that means they would have to keep lifting their bodies up in order to breathe. Eventually, they would lose strength and they wouldn't be able to lift themselves up. It's how people used to die from crucifixion. Sheriff: So you think Deaton is somewhere right now, hanging by his wrists? Melissa: Yeah. Sheriff: And when he no longer has the strength to pull himself up to catch a breathe, how long before he dies? Melissa: Minutes. Cora: But isn't Danny still in the hospital? Stiles: Yeah. That's where we're going right now. Scott: I'll meet you there. Stiles: Why? Isaac: Is this gonna kill him? Boyd: I hope so. Allison: So I was looking through one of his drawers, and I found this. He wasn't supposed to be back yet. Scott: What do I do? Where do I go? Allison: What are you doing? Scott: Nothing. Allison: Part of you is doing something. Scott: Oh, sorry. Allison: Stop. Scott: I kind of don't have control over that. Allison: Okay, well, I'll turn around. Scott: Yeah, totally. Allison. Allison: What? Scott: That's worse. Allison: Shh, shh, shh, shh. See this map? Last time we were in here talking, my dad put a book over it. There was something about way he did it. It was like... it was like he was trying to cover it. Scott: I don't see anything. Allison: Yeah, you can't until you use this. He's been tracking and marking everything. Cora and Boyd at the bank, the office in the penthouse above us, all of the dead bodies. He has a symbol for where someone was taken, and then a different mark for where the bodies are found, see? Now here's the scary part. There have been six sacrifices, right? There are 12 markings on the map. Scott: What? What does that mean? Did your dad find other bodies and not tell anyone? Allison: I don't think so. I think he knows where the body is going to be found, so one of these six locations, one of these, is where Deaton could end up. I mean, it doesn't tell us where he's being kept right now, but... Scott: but it's close to figuring it out. Allison: Yeah. Chris: Hey. I, uh, I didn't hear you come in. Allison: Yeah, I was just doing some homework. Stiles: Danny, you awake? Danny? Danny: Wow. What are you doing? Stiles: 'm not doing anything, Danny. This is just a dream that you're having. Danny: are you going through my stuff? Stiles: Right, but only in the dream, remember? Dream. Dreaming. Danny: Why would I dream about you going through my stuff? Stiles: I don't know that, Danny, okay? It's your dream. Take responsibility for it. Shut up and go back to sleep. Danny boy, you might've actually found something here. Scott: Deaton's got to be at one of the six locations, but they're all over town. I don't know how we can get to all of them fast enough. Stiles: Well, we might not have to. Danny was doing a project on something for Mr. Harris's physics class, and I think it actually means something. Scott: What project? Stiles: Something on telluric currents. Scott: Did you say currents? Stiles: Yeah. Isaac: Isn't the light on that supposed to be on? Derek: Yeah. Isaac: What does it mean if it's not? Derek: Someone cut the auxiliary power. Boyd: What about the main... Isaac: Derek... What do we do now? Derek: We fight. Kali: Gonna be honest, Derek. When Ennis died, I thought to myself I'd just go for it. Find you and kill you, wherever you stood. Then I remembered how you surround yourself with these teenagers, hiding behind them, and I thought, "what's a girl got to do to get you alone?" You and me Derek, or they tear her apart. What do you say? You think you can beat me one on one? Derek: I'm gonna rip your throat out with my teeth. Cora: Okay, so, what does this kid's homework have to do with finding Deaton? Stiles: Because it's not just homework, okay? It's a project on geomagnetic fields. They flow through the earth. They can even be affected by lunar phases, all right? Now, look at this. This is a note from Harris on Danny's proposal. Lydia: "I strongly advise you to choose another subject. "The ideas here, while innovative and thoughtful, "border on pseudo-science. Not suitable for class." Scott: Harris wasn't just a sacrifice. He knew something. Stiles: Now, check this out. Allison's dad wasn't the only one with a map, all right? Danny had one too. Danny marked all the telluric currents, okay? Now, the weird thing about beacon hills is that it actually is a beacon. You wouldn't believe how much energy flowing through the earth is around this town. Scott: Stiles, look, they match. All right, there's three places, right? Where they're kidnapped, and then the place where their body was found. Lydia: Look, that's right on the telluric current. Scott: So, maybe where he was sacrificed is somewhere in between. Stiles: Let me see that. You said there's six more bodies to be found. Deaton's one of them. Got to be somewhere in between, right? Cora: Stop. He's in the vault. He's in the same vault. Lydia: Guys, hold on. Stiles: Lydia, we don't have time. Cora: It's Boyd. The plan didn't work. They cut the power. Stiles: It's just like he said. Go. I can save Deaton myself. Stiles: What?Scott, what about us? Scott: Cora can't get there fast enough without you. Go. We can save both of them. Stiles: All right, let's go. Isaac: Uhh! Derek! Derek: No! Isaac: Wait! Sheriff: Scott! Let me give it a shot. Stiles: Okay, what do we do? Stiles: We pull them. Pull all of them. Kali: Take him! I'm giving you till the next full moon, Derek. Make the smart choice. Join the pack... Or next time I'm killing all of you. Boyd: It's okay. Derek: No, no. No, it's not. It's not. Boyd: It's all okay, Derek. Derek: I'm... l'm sorry. Boyd: The full moon. That feeling... That was worth it. There's a lunar eclipse. I always wondered what... What that felt like for one of us. For one of us... Erica: Boyd, what do you think will happen to us on the lunar eclipse? They last for hours, you know, because it's just the earth's shadow. I wonder what will happen to us. Maybe it'll make us stronger. I hope it'll make us stronger. Boyd. Chris: If you know something about him and you're reluctant to tell me, try remembering it's a long list of favors and penance before you're redeemed in my eyes. You're gonna tell me the story, and you're gonna tell me the truth. Allison: Surprised to see me? Gerard: Only surprised that its taken you this long. Scott: How'd you find us? Sheriff: The vials in the clinic with the Celtic symbols on 'em? I knew that one of 'em looked familiar. Deaton: Sheriff, thank you for being one hell of a Detective. Sheriff: You bet. Let's get you an ambulance. Deaton: Your eyes were red. Bright red. Scott: How is that possible? Sheriff: Paramedics are on their way. I'll be back in half a minute. Deaton: It's rare. It's something that doesn't happen within 100 years, but every once in a while a beta can become an Alpha without having to steal or take that power. They call it a true Alpha. It's one who rises purely on the strength of the character, by virtue, by sheer force of will. Scott: You knew this would happen. Deaton: I believed. From the moment I knew you were bitten, I believed. Scott: You're not the only one. Deaton: No. Deucalion isn't after Derek. He's after you.	Plan: A: Danny; Q: Who is hospitalized? A: Scott's mother; Q: Who saves Danny? A: ER; Q: What type of doctors did the Darach take from Beacon Hills hospital? A: the Darach; Q: Who targets Deaton as the next sacrifice? A: Deucalion; Q: Who warns Scott that either Deaton or Derek will die tonight? A: Stiles; Q: Who tries divination methods with Lydia? A: various divination methods; Q: What does Stiles try with Lydia to get answers? A: Boyd and Isaac's plan; Q: What plan failed to defeat the Alphas targeting Derek? A: Kali; Q: Who forces Boyd onto Derek's extended claws? A: Jennifer hostage; Q: What does Kali hold to force Derek to fight her? A: Jennifer; Q: Who is held hostage by Kali? A: Sheriff Stilinski's; Q: Whose help does Scott get to save Deaton? A: True Alpha" - a werewolf; Q: What does Deaton think Scott is? A: Alpha status; Q: What does a True Alpha rise to? Summary: Danny is hospitalized; Scott's mother saves him. After taking two ER doctors from Beacon Hills hospital, the Darach targets Deaton as the next sacrifice. Deucalion warns Scott that either Deaton or Derek will die tonight. Stiles tries various divination methods with Lydia to get answers. Boyd and Isaac's plan to defeat the Alphas targeting Derek does not work, and Kali forces Derek to fight her one-on-one by holding Jennifer hostage. Scott and his friends deduce where Deaton's being held. The Alphas attack Derek while Scott saves Deaton, with Sheriff Stilinski's help. Kali forces Boyd onto Derek's extended claws, killing him. Deaton tells Scott he showed signs of being a "True Alpha" - a werewolf who rises to Alpha status purely on "strength of character, by virtue, by sheer force of will". Deaton thinks that Deucalion might actually be after Scott, rather than Derek.
In 2030, Ted tells his children the story of the encounter with their mother. Ted (2030): Children, you never know when you will meet someone important. It's not as if life warned you. You look, and they are there. Ted comes out of his classroom and in the corridors, he sees a group of young people with packs of beer. Student: Come on, let's go get stoned on the roof. Ted (2030): No, not this guy. It. Student: Do not bother, Boomer. Student: I do not call me Boomer. Student: For me, this is your name. Ted: Gentlemen, I am a professor at this university and you are minor, so it is my duty to confiscate it, and that, and... the cooler?You know what, Boomer? You can keep it. Ted returned to his classroom with a student. Student: Each week, a guy in a fraternity invites me to a party and I said "I am preparing my PhD and I write a thesis which is entitled Foreign Direct Investment and intergenerational ties of consumption behavior. " Ted: And they will respond? Student: "It's sexy. " Ted: Actually, it's really sexy. Student: I have a confession to make. I recognize you. Do you remember the first day of last semester? Advanced Eco? Ted (2030): Children, do you remember the history of bad amphitheater. Flashback Ted (2030): I thought I was in architecture intro, I was in advanced eco. Of course, I did not know that your mother was in the auditorium, and she took me for an idiot. End flashback Student: I took you for an idiot. But a very cute idiot. Ted: You go out with idiots cute? Student: Almost all the time. GENERIC Ted is in his apartment with Robin, Barney and Lily. Ted: She wants to do a doctorate, she reads the philosophy for fun, she finished the crossword in the Sunday New York Times. Barney: Ted, I am happy for you. Sorry, not for you, not to be you. Ted: To summarize, I have a date tonight. (We hear screaming outside) Thank you, New York! I try not to screw up. Lily: What's going on? There are queuing outside the McLaren's. Robin: Why it's almost that guys? Barney: Only two things can cause this turmoil. Ted, Robin, Lily and Barney are down at the bar where all the guys at the counter. Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, the McLaren's hired a sexy barmaid. Lily: Look at all these guys. The sidewalk will feel the pee now. Robin: We'd better find a new bar. Barney: What... are you crazy? It's a sexy barmaid. Do you know how long I've waited for me... My friends, I slept with many women in my glory days. Lawyers, professors, poets, doctors, professional riders, and animators... A butcher, a baker, a candle maker. Yes, we got to the part where it rhymes. A teacher, a restorative, an observer... A puppeteer, a croupier, a housewife, it is also a job, guys. A circuit court judge... Robin: Abbreviates! Barney: I never, never slept with a barmaid sexy, until tonight. Robin: It's not so sexy. Ted: Would you jealous of the attention? Imagined would be the sexiest girl in the bar? Robin: No. Shut up! Barney: Wish me luck. Lily: It will never happen. She will pretend to enjoy yourself in the same way she has mesmerized all these geniuses. Barney: Guess who will not fall under his spell? I will make him "Do not try, baby. Papa needs a gin and tonic. "And when she will, I recracherai saying" Do it again. " The dominant male where it should be: on top, and after a few minutes below. Why should I do anything? Marshall arrives. Marshall: Guys, what's up? Lily: A new super sexy barmaid. Robin: You see? Marshall does not think she's sexy. Lily: If he thinks. Do not bother to pretend that other women are not attractive just for my own good. Marshall: I know, and if this woman was almost as sexy as mine, so I admit, but it is not the case. Lily: Baby, you're an angel, but compared to this woman, I am a big trash bag 3 days. Marshall: I say what I see, and... I think until you're the most beautiful woman in the world. Lily: You see, it's really annoying. Barmaid: You're so funny. It'll be $ 6.75. Man: There's, 50, keep the change. Barmaid: Thank you. Barney: Amateurs. Barmaid: What do you want? Barney: Do not even try, baby. Wait, what? Barmaid: You're going to stay there in order to be ridiculous? Barney: Uh... Barmaid: I do not know a Heu. It's half vodka and half-bar of yourself then? Ted (2030): That night I went to a very important first date. Ted is in the student with whom he spoke earlier. Ted: How are you? Student: Okay. Between. Ted (2030): It's funny, sometimes you walk into an apartment for the first time, but it was the feeling of being right where it should be. And children, it was the first time I saw the little yellow bus of your mother. You know him. It is right behind you. Ted: It's cute. Student: Actually, this is my roommate. Ted (2030): And so I was there in the apartment of your mother, except that I was dating her roommate, Cindy. Ted: Sorry, I should not play with the affairs of your roommate.She look like? Ted (2030): I do not know, but I would hear the first description of the woman I would marry. Cindy: That is a whore. I think this is a dominatrix. Ted: What? Cindy: Okay, sorry, this is not true. I have a roommate complex. Ted: Why? Cindy: The guys always fall in love with her. Ted: Look at me. I promise, I would not fall in love with your roommate. Ted (2030): Oops! At the bar, Marshall brings beers. Lily: Now that you have been looking more closely, admit it: the bartender is the sexiest of the Bar. Robin: The second sexiest. Marshall: I repeat... Lily: Baby, how can you not want you to do? I want to do it. If you do not wanna do it, sorry, but you must be gay. Marshall: Yeah, I'm gay. Gay for you. Barney: No matter. You understand why I'm the only guy she does not know this bar? Marshall: Yes... You will not like the answer. Flashback 2 minutes ago... Barmaid: My last three were former Wall Street brokers.Bastards. I swore never to go out with a guy who wears suits. End flashback Barney: It's easy. I just have to stop wearing costumes. Robin: Is that all? Come on, you're always in costume. Summer 2009, Barney skied in costume. Barney: True... But for these two... And, for that... Finally, for her... I'll stop wearing, wait... Robin: We know you're gonna say "costumes". Barney costumes. Ted and Cindy are in the restaurant. Ted (2030): Meanwhile, Cindy and I spent a pleasant evening, but she was not kidding about his roommate complex. Cindy: Another weird thing on my roommate: she paints robots who play sports. Ted: It's strange. Ted (2030): I lied. It looked great. The watercolor of the robot playing volleyball with your mother is still in remission. Cindy: And she has this weird habit of blackmailing his breakf. Ted: It's weird. Ted (2030): The version of "Memories" of your mother, sung by an English muffin, is to date the most beautiful thing I've heard in my life. Ted: Look, I am defeated. I hate it. Cindy: Sorry. It is not so bad. I'm just a little jealous. Ted: I do not know why. You're great. Ted (2030): But not as much as your mother. And speaking of things that are less brilliant, your uncle Barney was formally arrested costumes. [SCENE_BREAK] Barney is at McLaren's, in jeans and T-shirt. Barmaid: Sorry to have misjudged you. If there is a kind of men I can not stand are those in costume. Ca, and a woman who does not comply. Barney: The costumes and complexed. I hate them. I hate them. Ted joined Robin, Lily and Marshall sitting at their usual table. Robin: So, your date with Cindy? Ted: Well, last night, it was nice today, less. Lily: Why? Flashback At the University... Cindy: I discovered that the settlement on all outgoing students and teachers are very strict. I could lose my scholarship. Ted: It's not like if you followed my progress. It is not even in the same department. Cindy: Sorry, but I can not take that risk. End flashback Ted: She exaggerates, there, right? Robin: Well, Ted, she's right. Lily: And thoughtful. If the rules are so strict, you could put your work in. Marshall: I think you should leave it, buddy. Ted: Okay, I start again. She exaggerates, there, right? Ted (2030): Of course they were right. I had to let her go, but as your uncle Barney was discovered, it is not always easy. Barney is looking for clothes in her wardrobe. Barney conscience: In costume. Ted (2030): None of us had seen for so long without Barney costume, and children, it was not pretty. Marshall joined the others at the bar, in costume. Marshall: Sorry for my delay. I was stuck at work. I had this presentation on taxes on dividends. Lily: Of course, I listened carefully when you spoke. Marshall: So, I started the Powerpoint... (rubs Barney costume at Marshall) Barney? Barney locks himself in the bathroom where he finds a suit. Barney conscience: In costume. He finds himself in a suit when Marshall picks him. Marshall: We will order food. Barney: I arrive in a second. Marshall and Barney restarts off his costume. He cracked his suit jacket. Barney, running down the street: Out of my way! Stay with me.It's not your time. Ted (2030): If someone could fix such a thing, it was the tailor personnel Barney, TV's Tim Gunn. Barney is his tailor. Tim: Sorry, Barney. There is nothing more to do. Barney: So young. You can not do anything else? Tim: No. But we can use the buttons on this costume to another. Barney: It can... As an organ donor? Tim: The death of this suit could save the life of another. Barney: But I... Do it. Tim: You do what it takes. Do not cry about it. It's silk. Barney: Sorry. I know. I know. Barney joined Marshall, Lily, Ted and Robin at the bar, with an urn in his hands. Barney: We have the remains cremated. Its buttons have saved a sick jacket of the Upper East Side. Robin: Finally, you can abandon the quest for so-called sexy barmaid. Barney: No. My costume gave his life for this cause, and I do not should rest before these two... Well, it... Finally,... Be it mine. Ted: There is absolutely right. Lily: Who, the guy who kisses an urn full of ashes costume. This guy? Ted: What if Cindy is the woman I am to marry, and I give up?Farewell, elegant but cozy house in Westchester, with a reasonable loan that I can pay without ruining me. Goodbye, the two children raised in a strict but loving hand, finding the perfect balance between the father and friend. Adios, triplets Schnauzers, Frank Lloyd Wright and. The fact is, I do not give up either! (Ted gets up and kissed the urn of Barney before leaving) I do not know why I did that. Barmaid: Barney, sorry about your friend. Tell me about him. Barney: It was Italian. Classic, elegant. And my God he knew how to deal with women. They could not say no. Barmaid: How old was he? Barney: 7 years. I miss him so much! Barmaid: You should not be alone tonight. I will finish earlier. Barney: Thank you, old friend. You go on a good shot. Barney share with the barmaid. Lily: Admit it, she is sexier than me. It will not hurt me. Marshall: I can not. You're sexier than she. Lily: That's a goddess! Her skin glows. Her legs are super long.And that ass? I do not mind having it, even on the head! That night, I admit, I thought about it a little more than once. Marshall: What do you...? Kind, you think she is sexier than me? Lily: I never said that. Marshall: You think so! Lily: It's not comparable. She is younger than you. Marshall: I'm just, like, me, my friend, against it, its old. Robin: You two, the fact that it is not real sexy! She is sexy thanks to circumstances! Look. Robin takes off his jacket and goes behind the counter. Marshall: I guess you also think she is sexier than me. Carl: What are you doing? Robin: What? Carl: You do not have the right to be there. Robin: Carl, listening. No. I do not want to leave. Mercy, mercy, do not force me to leave. Carl: You have to go. You have to go. Robin: I was someone there, behind! Everybody loved me. Ted walking in the rain. A knock at Cindy. Ted: Can we talk? Cindy: My roommate is going out of the shower. Come into my room. Ted: I know the law prohibits us from going out together. But he also says "Do not teach in having drunk" and I do it all the time.The fact is... I really appreciate you. You're cute, funny. You write a thesis which is entitled, Foreign direct investment and intergenerational ties of consumption behavior. It's too sexy! I know it sounds crazy, but... I feel that our paths are supposed to meet, and... I do not want to miss meeting you. Cindy: I do not want it, me either. Ted: I gotta tell you, just by looking at your room, I know we have much in common. Cindy: Really? Ted: The Unicorns? Who will cut our hair When We're Gone? I thought I was the only one with this album. Cindy: This is my roommate. I borrowed. Ted: And that? After World T.C Boyle? Cindy: Birthday present... my roommate. I did not read it yet. Ted: You should. It is really good. And that? It is the height. You play the bass? Seriously, ask my friends. I have always said that my perfect woman... does not play bass, because that is clearly that of your roommate. Cindy: It is in a group. Ted: Damn, that's cool. Cindy: It's amazing. You chose the only three things that are here to my roommate. Ted: The group played shows your roommate or...? Cindy: Get out. Ted (2030): Children, as you guessed, it was not the night I met your mother. Although I think I saw his foot. But I approached the meeting with the woman of my dreams. And your mother... She had recovered her yellow umbrella. Barney the bartender back home. Barney: It was so special, you know? We should observe a minute of silence. Followed by about 20 minutes of grunting. Barmaid: I'll help you feel much better. Let me refresh. Barney: Okay. Expected. No, this is not the bathroom. This is... Barmaid: They are yours? Barney: I'm the suit-sitting for someone. Barmaid: Barney, you lied to me. You must choose immediately.Me... or costumes. The barmaid hand. Barney, singing and dancing in the street: I know what you're thinking, "What Barney has been drinking? This girl was hot! "I might have to do it, but I did not miss anything because there is something she is not. 10 would make me a lot, but I'd rather be on my 31. It is a fact that you can not deny. Nothing goes better than n'me costume! Imagine a world where men and women are perfectly well-dressed! The delivery man in suit and tie savate, this puppy in a cross! This guy with sideburns, this baby with a pacifier! This gendarmette deliciously beautiful. Nothing goes better than n'leur costume! A first officer that I can wear, they are oh so distinguished! The perfect trick to get me a girl with father issues, navy blue or black! (2 men get out of a store with a rack filled with costumes) spy on this perfect rack! I want to make guilis. Marshall, doing the same: Oh, really! Then answer these questions, I beg. What would you do if you had to choose between your suits and a pot of gold? Barney: Costumes! Marshall: What would you say, against all your costume you were offered eternal youth? Barney: Costumes! Robin: What would you choose: a million girls and one three parts? Barney: Do we see. Lily: And a world at peace would be within your reach? Barney: I'll stop. These are the costumes. Stops just bullshit.Two, three, four! Girls come and depart, but the clothes remain constant! Each buddy dépote and rambling, it is no substitute!Sorry, my costumes, I give you my life. My Sunday clothes are my best friends! The casual clothes go in the basket because nothing goes better with the undisputed often praised, claiming to fame... a true... Expect more... Costume... Ted, Marshall, Lily: Nothing suits her better... than... Costume.In costume! In costume! Costume...! Barney: Mind you, it is rather barrel. (Back at Barney) I choose you you, baby. Tomorrow morning, I get rid of these costumes. Barmaid: Really? Barney: Yeah. (They kiss) I will do you nothing!	Plan: A: Ted; Q: Who meets Cindy? A: Cindy; Q: Who is the name of the student who is close to Ted's age? A: Rachel Bilson; Q: Who plays Cindy? A: his future wife; Q: Who is Cindy roommates with? A: a hot bartender; Q: Who does Barney try to pick up? A: ( Stacy Keibler; Q: Who is the bartender that Barney tries to pick up? A: casual clothes; Q: What does Barney wear to impress Stacy Keibler? A: the entire cast; Q: Who performs a musical number in the episode? Summary: Ted meets Cindy ( Rachel Bilson ), a student (PhD candidate) who is close to his own age and who happens to be roommates with his future wife. Barney, meanwhile, tries to pick up a hot bartender ( Stacy Keibler ) who hates guys in suits by wearing casual clothes leading to a musical number performed by the entire cast.
MUSIC IN: INT. MCGEE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT (MUSIC OVER ACTION/MCGEE TYPING) (SFX: PAPER SHREDDER) (SFX: MCGEE TYPING) (SFX: KNOCKING ON DOOR CONTINUES) JORDAN: (THROUGH PEEPHOLE) Open up, McGee! (DOOR OPENS) MCGEE: Hey, what's going on? JORDAN: Bzzz! MCGEE: Um.... JORDAN: That's what I been hearing all night long. Bzzz! Bzzz! Are you electrocuting sheep in here? MCGEE: Feels like it. You know what? That's probably my shredder. JORDAN: That's funny, because you say that like... well uh, like I haven't been up all night listening to it! MCGEE: I'm sorry. I'm having... it won't happen again. JORDAN: It does - that paper's not going to be the only thing getting shredded around here. MCGEE: Sorry. (DOOR CLOSES) (SFX: PAPER SHREDDER) (KNOCK ON DOOR) MCGEE: I'm sorry. (DOOR OPENS) MCGEE: It was an accident. It won't happen again. SARAH: (SOBBING) I think I killed someone, Tim. (MUSIC UP AND OUT) (THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT MCGEE: Are you okay?(SFX: SHOWER B.G.) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BATHROOM SARAH: (V.O.) You asked me that thirty seconds ago, Mom! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM MCGEE: Yeah, well you've been in there for over an hour! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT SARAH: (V.O.) Yeah, well how long would you be in the shower if you were covered in mystery blood? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM MCGEE: You're sure that none of it is yours? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BATHROOM SARAH: Yeah. MCGEE: (V.O.) But you don't know whose it is? SARAH: No, I told you. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM SARAH: (V.O.) I was at Headliners with these girls from school... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BATHROOM SARAH: ... watching this crappy band. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM SARAH: (V.O.) The next thing I know, I'm at your front door. MCGEE: You left out the part where you said .... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BATHROOM MCGEE: (V.O.) ....you killed someone. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM (DOOR OPENS) SARAH: Tim, that's not funny! MCGEE: You don't remember saying that? How much did you have to drink? SARAH: Nothing! I'm under twenty-one, remember? MCGEE: Really? Because your fake I.D. says you're twenty-two. How much? SARAH: Okay, I had a few drinks. MCGEE: Sarah, do you remember what happened the last time you had "a few" drinks? SARAH: No. MCGEE: That's the point! You can't drink! Last time you had a few too many, you painted "bitch" on Katie Hutchinson's garage. SARAH: I would have done that sober. That bitch stole my boyfriend. Tim, relax. I barely even touched my second beer, okay? I remember because I had to....(SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) (INTERCUT FLASHBACK /DISTORTED SWISH PANS) MCGEE: You had to what? SARAH: I had to study. That's right. After the concert, we went to the food court, but I left early because I had to go to the library. MCGEE: Good. Library is good. And then? SARAH: Why can't I remember? MCGEE: Someone could have slipped you something. SARAH: No, Smart Girl One-oh-one. You don't take drinks from guys you don't know. MCGEE: We should still get a urine sample. SARAH: (BEAT) No! I can't pee in a mug with a picture of Grandma on it. (SFX: TOUCH TONES) SARAH: What are you doing? MCGEE: Calling the police. SARAH: And telling them what? That I showed up at your front door with blood on my hands saying I killed someone? Besides, Tim, that could be animal blood. MCGEE: And what if it's not? Sarah, I'm a Federal agent. I have a responsibility. SARAH: Tim, I didn't come to a Federal agent! I came to my big brother. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY ZIVA: McGee's not answering his cell phone, pager, or MySpace IM. TONY: (CHUCKLES) McGee on MySpace. I've got to see that. GIBBS: Keep calling. TONY: Still trying to get into his calendar, Boss. ZIVA: You know, I'm not sure what the problem is. When I was framed by the Iranians for murder, I was late for many hours before anyone even noticed. GIBBS: You're not McGee, Ziva. TONY: McTimex's brain is hard-wired for punctuality. And sadly, scaring away potential mates. There we go! No doctors appointments. He does have a personal trainer four times a week! And tomorrow, an eight a.m. appointment at a Harley Davidson dealership!? Either McGee's won the lottery or he's got a Sugar Daddy. (PHONE RINGS) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs. Where? (GIBBS HANGS UP PHONE) TONY: Dead? GIBBS: Sailor. Waverly campus. Gear up. TONY: What about McGee? We haven't found him yet. SHEPARD: I did. Or rather he found me. Sent me an email. "Woke up sick. Laryngitis. Won't be coming into work today." You know, I bet he sent you one, too. (SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONES) GIBBS: Are you still here? (TO SHEPARD) Hmm. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY SARAH: Who emails in sick to work? MCGEE: If I called, they'd know I was lying. SARAH: Oh, and if you have laryngitis, you can't call. You've been saving that one for a comic book convention. MCGEE: Can we get back to the timeline, please? Okay, now, you left the bar at nine-thirty p.m. SARAH: I got to the campus food court at around ten. MCGEE: You showed up here at my door at two thirty a.m. That leaves four hours unaccounted for. SARAH: I'm actually impressed. This is what you do at work? You know, state the obvious and make pretty pie charts? MCGEE: No. We collect facts and we formulate theories. But if you think you can do better... SARAH: Oh. Well, okay. There are four hours unaccounted for, of which I have no memory. So I either drank more than I realized; repressed some kind of traumatic event, or was drugged. Now the blood on my hands and the fact that I'm always careful with what I drink implied traumatic event. But what and where? Answer. The shoes I bought yesterday. Thirty two dollars, on sale, plus I had a back-to-school coupon. They're muddy, but the soles are barely even scuffed. So I didn't walk the five miles to your place. Okay, so how did I get here? When I left the food court, I had fourteen dollars in my back pocket. And now there's only two. And since it's a ten dollar taxi ride to your place, do the math. I must have taken a taxi cab out here. And that's our first step. We find the driver, we ask him where I was. Then when we find out where I was, we can find out what happened. WEAVER: We can start by checking local taxi dispatches. There's two major cab companies and dozens of gypsies. I'm assuming you left from campus, that would definitely be a major. They'll have a log of the fare. Do you think you caught the taxi on campus? MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: EXT. CAMPUS - DAY MADISON: Ready?! Five, six, seven, eight, hit one, two, oh-three, four, look-five, hit six, seven, down-eight. Go-one, two - this isn't the XFL, ladies! This is Waverly! Save the pole-dancing for your boyfriend, Caroline. (SFX: CAR BRAKES TO A STOP) (MCGEE WALKS FROM THE CAR) TATE: Uh, you'll have to move your car, Sir. You're in a passenger loading zone and I don't see any uh, pa - Oh. You don't want to park here. MCGEE: You might want to yank out your rent-a-cop manual and recheck the pecking order. TATE: No, no, no. Your people are on the other side of the quad. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. QUAD - DAY TONY: Well, that was quick. GIBBS: You solve this case already, Dinozzo? TONY: No. It's my hundredth body. Hey, listen, you wouldn't mind taking -- (BEAT) sorry. It's a bad idea. It seemed less disgusting in my head. ZIVA: By comparison with what else is in there, I'm sure it was. GIBBS: Anything useful from that jogger, Ziva? ZIVA: If "I saw the body and I called the police" is useful, then yes. Otherwise, no. He can't tell how long the body's been here. DUCKY: Luckily, of course, I can. I must apologize for our tardiness. We had trouble parking the van. Homecoming. I would have thought McGee would have beaten me up here. GIBBS: McGee's not here. DUCKY: Really? I could have sworn I saw him in the parking lot. TONY: Well, we're at a college. Pencil-neck geeks are a dime a dozen. DUCKY: (CHUCKLES) Now, let me see. Preliminary time of death between ten and twelve hours ago. ZIVA: (V.O.) We have another body! TONY: (V.O.) I thought you said you had another body. ZIVA: I do. Actually, ten of them. (MUSIC OVER ACTION/MCGEE RUNS TO HIS CAR) (MUSIC UP AND OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY (MCGEE TESTS THE BLOOD) (DOOR OPENS) SARAH: Hey, what time is it? MCGEE: After ten. SARAH: It's after ten?! I missed my class! Why didn't you wake me? MCGEE: I wanted you to get some rest before... SARAH: Before what? MCGEE: Sarah... SARAH: You found the taxi. MCGEE: I haven't spoken to the driver yet, but I did get a log from the company. SARAH: And? MCGEE: And you were picked up early this morning at the quad. When I went to check it out, NCIS was there. SARAH: What was NCIS doing there? MCGEE: Probably had something to do with the dead body. Where are you going? SARAH: The library. I have to study. MCGEE: Excuse me? SARAH: I have a Chaucer mid-term coming up. MCGEE: Hey, Sarah! Hello! Dead guy! It's probably Dead Guy's blood on your shirt! SARAH: I told you, that could be animal blood! MCGEE: It's not. I tested it, and it's human. Sarah, we've got to go to NCIS. SARAH: Why? Why NCIS? MCGEE: The body was a sailor. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. QUAD - FLASHBACK PETTY: (MUFFLED) Sarah! Hey!(FLASHBACK SCENES) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY SARAH: Do you know the sailor's name? MCGEE: No. SARAH: I do. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY ZIVA: Dental records confirm the body is Seaman Jeff Petty, currently serving on the U.S.S. Enterprise. Docked at Norfolk last night. GIBBS: Navy notifying the family? ZIVA: As we speak. DUCKY: A duty I do not envy. Yes, when I was an officer with the Regiment, I was twice called upon to render such services. I prefer combat to telling a family that one of their loved ones shall never be returning. Luckily, in this case, we are spared such a duty. GIBBS: Do you have a time of death on those goldfish? DUCKY: No time, but a cause. ZIVA: Asphyxiation? Suffocation? Over feeding? DUCKY: Nicotine poisoning. I just got the test results from Abby. There was enough nicotine in their blood to kill, well, kill a goldfish. That much is certain. GIBBS: How did that get there? DUCKY: DUCKY: Your guess is as good as mine. Yeah, the cause of death of Seaman Petty is more explicable. Sharp force trauma to the thoracic area. Punctured the aorta, so death was almost instantaneous. (CONT.) The shape and depth of the wound suggests a combat-- GIBBS: (OVERLAP) Combat knife. ZIVA: We didn't find a knife. All we bagged was trash. GIBBS: Tell Dinozzo to keep looking. ZIVA: Well, Tony went home. GIBBS: He went home? ZIVA: He wasn't feeling well. Thought McGee might have gotten him sick. GIBBS: So he went... home? ZIVA: Well, actually, the Director told him he could go. DUCKY: I'm not done, Gibbs. GIBBS: Make it fast, Doctor Mallard. DUCKY: Post mortem lividity suggests that Seaman Petty was killed on scene. Tox screen came back negative, no drugs in his system. ZIVA: His C.O. said he was a model sailor. DUCKY: There was very little trauma beyond the entry wound. No scratches, no DNA under fingernails. ZIVA: He was surprised. GIBBS: Or he knew his killer. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. BATHROOM - DAY (SFX: KNOCK ON DOOR CONTINUES) MCGEE: (V.O.) Sarah, open up! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY MCGEE: Sarah!(KNOCK ON DOOR) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BATHROOM - DAY MCGEE: (V.O.) Tell me how you know this guy! Sarah, I can't help you unless you talk to me.(SFX: SARAH CRIES B.G.) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM (DOOR OPENS) MCGEE: How do you know him? SARAH: We used to date...until he started seeing my old roommate. MCGEE: And? SARAH: And.... I threatened to kill him once or twice. Maybe even three times. MCGEE: This is that sailor that you were dating last year? You told me you didn't like him. SARAH: What did you expect me to say, Tim? I really liked this guy, and he broke my heart when he dumped me for some skanky cheerleader. MCGEE: You threatened to kill him because he dumped you for a cheerleader? SARAH: I didn't mean it! It was just one of those things you say, you know! MCGEE: Did anyone hear you say it? SARAH: I never actually said it. I emailed it. MCGEE: Sarah, we've got to go to Gibbs now. SARAH: I haven't done anything wrong! MCGEE: How do you know? SARAH: Tim, you don't really (LONG BEAT) you do! MCGEE: Sober, no. But you were drinking, Sarah. There could have been an accident. SARAH: Tim, I swear on my life! I... MCGEE: How can you swear?! You don't remember what happened! SARAH: If my own brother doesn't believe me, who the hell is going to? MCGEE: Sarah! SARAH: What, are you going to arrest me? MCGEE: You need to understand something. Our only option right now is going to end.... (SFX: TELEPHONE BEEP TONES) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BENOIT'S APARTMENT - NIGHT (SFX: TV B.G.) TONY: Wait a minute. I thought they were brother and sister. JEANNE: They are, but they don't know it. Haven't you been reading the subtitles? TONY: There's subtitles? JEANNE: So much for being a film buff. TONY: Hey! Listen, I could bore you to death with a lecture on German expressionism in film, if you'd like. JEANNE: You could never bore me. TONY: Well, that is very sweet of you, but you underestimate me. It is my contention, Miss Benoit, that the abstract nature of expressionism in film (MUFFLED) JEANNE: What are we doing, Tony? TONY: Well, I'm boring you with German expressionism in film. JEANNE: We've been dating for over a month. Don't you find it a little curious that... we haven't taken it to the next level? TONY: You mean Italian, you know, realism? Japanese-- JEANNE: No. TONY: ... cinema? JEANNE: ...sx. TONY: (CHUCKLES) Yeah. sx, right. JEANNE: Yeah, is that something you might be interested in? TONY: (LAUGHS) Yeah. JEANNE: Yeah, I get that vibe from you. And yet we still haven't had it and you don't seem like the type who usually waits. TONY: Yeah. Well, it could be because you remind me of my sister. JEANNE: You said you were an only child. TONY: I am. JEANNE: Could I have a serious answer? Please? TONY: I don't want to rush things. JEANNE: Date two is rushing things, Tony. Date eleven, that's a violation of the Geneva Convention. TONY: "If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you always got." And while what I got had its perks, I'm looking for something different now. JEANNE: Okay, Tony. But just so you know, whenever you're ready, so am I. (MUSIC OVER ACTION/KISSING) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - NIGHT ABBY: And when we finished bowling, he walked me to my car. SHEPARD: And? ABBY: And he said, "I hope to see you soon, Babydoll." Gave me a peck on the cheek and then he left. SHEPARD: Short and sweet. ABBY: Oh, he is. GIBBS: Hey, I've been looking all over the building for you. SHEPARD: Ah, since we were low on agents, I thought I'd give Abby a hand. GIBBS: The only reason we are low on agents, is because you sent Dinozzo home. SHEPARD: Well, there's no sense in getting us all sick. ABBY: (AS GIBBS) Next time you send one my team home, you clear it with me first, Director! (AS SHEPARD) Oh, I didn't know I needed your permission to manage my own personnel, Agent Gibbs. (AS GIBBS) Your personnel!? (AS SHEPARD) Last time I checked, it said Director on my door, not yours! (AS ABBY) The kids don't like it when Mommy and Daddy fight. GIBBS: Have you got the call log off the cell phone we found on Seaman Petty? ABBY: There was damage on the DC run to the SIM chip. Probably from the fall. (SFX: CELL PHONE CHIMES) ABBY: Okay. Wow, fifteen missed text messages. Someone's really trying to get a hold off-- (PHONE RINGS) ABBY: Oh, no. What do I do? Do I answer it? GIBBS: Put it on speaker. ABBY: (INTO PHONE) Hello!(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Finally! Where the hell are you? (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) McGee? (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Boss? Why do you have my sister's cell phone? (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) I've got a better question for you. What is your sister's cell phone doing on my dead body? (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (MUSIC UP AND OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (ELEVATOR DINGS/ DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) TONY: Oh, and I thought being sent to the principal's office was bad... ZIVA: He's still in the elevator? TONY: Per Gibbs' orders, awaiting El Jefe's arrival. (SFX: ZIVA WHISTLES) ZIVA: How mad is he? TONY: Well, considering he's been covering for his sister who is implicated in the death of a Navy sailor... (ELEVATOR DINGS/ DOORS OPEN) GIBBS: What were you thinking, McGee? (ELEVATOR DOORS CLOSE) TONY: I'd say he's handling it pretty well. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ELEVATOR - DAY MCGEE: I would apologize, but I know how you feel about that. (SFX: ELEVATOR STOPS) GIBBS: You got your voice back. MCGEE: I never lost it. GIBBS: No kidding! MCGEE: I know withholding evidence is a violation of NCIS policy. GIBBS: And a crime! One that I don't really care about. Why didn't you come to me? MCGEE: I was going to. When I saw the body, I knew I had to bring Sarah in. GIBBS: No! Before that. MCGEE: MCGEE: I couldn't take the chance. I don't know what my sister did or didn't do. But I know what it looked like. (CONT.) And we say "Better ten guilty men go free than one innocent get punished," but I know from experience it doesn't always work out like that. I couldn't take that chance with Sarah, not with the police, not with NCIS, not even with you. (BEAT) She's my sister. (SFX: ELEVATOR STARTS) GIBBS: Apology accepted. (SIGHS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONES) TONY: Cute girl. Hey, this is the one I found on McGee's iPod. I knew there was no way she could be his girlfriend. Poor McGee got the shallow end of the gene pool. ZIVA: They're here.(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/ DOORS OPEN/ CLOSE) TONY: I thought for sure Probie would be limping. (TO GIBBS) Getting soft in your old age there, Boss? Prime of your youth, Sir? ZIVA: We needed it for the BOLO. MCGEE: Please tell me that's not for-- TONY: Citing a bench warrant for grand theft auto. MCGEE: Guess that's better than a BOLO for murder. ZIVA: We need to find her, McGee. Right now, she's our main suspect. MCGEE: Witness. GIBBS: Spoke to the taxi driver who picked your sister up. He places her at the crime scene. TONY: And Abby confirmed the blood type on your sister's clothes matches Seaman Petty. That's more than witness, Probie. ZIVA: And there are the emails. TONY: Like the one that starts "Dear Manwhore, and ends with "If I ever see you again, I will kill you. Love, Sarah?" I got them off Seaman Petty's email. Throw them on the pile and they add up to .... ZIVA: Motive and opportunity. GIBBS: Why is she running? MCGEE: She's mad. She's scared. Says she has nothing to do with the murder, thinks I don't believe her. ZIVA: Do you? MCGEE: Sarah is not a killer. GIBBS: But...? MCGEE: But an accident's another story. If she was drugged-- ZIVA: She wasn't. Abby ran the urine sample you took, and it was clean. GIBBS: Any other suspects? TONY: Navy Seaman Petty's cheerleader girlfriend. ZIVA: At least your sister's not the only one writing threatening emails. TONY: Cheerleader was worried Popeye was getting his spinach somewhere else. GIBBS: Address? Ziva, I want that taxi impounded. Dinozzo, you're on McGee's sister. TONY: Ah, a great pleasure, Boss. MCGEE: Boss, maybe Tony would be better on the -- GIBBS: McGee? MCGEE: Yeah? GIBBS: Go home. I can't have you working this case. MCGEE: If I go home, how do you know I won't keep working on it? GIBBS: (BEAT) Come on! (V.O.) I'll keep an eye on you. (MCGEE AND GIBBS WALK O.S.) ZIVA: Hey, are you wondering if she did it? TONY: No, I'm wondering why McGee never told me he had a sister. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. DORM COMMON AREA - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAMERA PANS AROUND COLLEGE STUDENTS) (SFX: VOICES B.G.) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. DORM ROOM - DAY CAROLYN: This is Jeff in Bahrain. GIBBS: Handsome kid. CAROLYN: He loved wearing that uniform. Almost as much as I loved seeing him in it. He was supposed to meet me at the food court. We were having freshman cheerleader initiations later that night, but I wanted to make time to surprise Jeff with ... a surprise. GIBBS: He never showed. CAROLYN: I just figured his ship was late. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. DORM COMMON AREA - DAY MADISON: If we can't get this thing working, I'm going to have to find some geeks who can. STUDENT: (V.O.) Don't worry. We can do it. MADISON: Huh! Seen enough? MCGEE: No, no, no. No, actually, um... I was checking the water gun here. The check valve is on backwards. If you flip this... GIBBS: (V.O.) It sounds like you and Jeff had a perfect... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. DORM ROOM - DAY GIBBS: ... relationship. CAROLYN: We did. We were going to get married. You better make her pay for this. GIBBS: Who? CAROLYN: That jealous bitch, Sarah McGee. She couldn't deal with the fact that Jeff wanted me instead of her. She sent him threatening emails. She trashed me in her blog. GIBBS: Blog? CAROLYN: Yeah. GIBBS: What's a blog? CAROLYN: It's a ... blog, you know. GIBBS: No, I don't know. CAROLYN: It's something losers put online so that everyone can read. Are you going to arrest her or not? I saw her at the food court with her geek friends. When she found out that Jeff was coming to meet me, she left to find him. MCGEE: How do you know she didn't just leave?! CAROLYN: Because she killed him! MCGEE: Boss... GIBBS: Hey! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HALLWAY GIBBS: I told you to wait outside. MCGEE: Why didn't you ask her about the emails? GIBBS: Maybe I don't want her to know that I know about the emails, McGee. There's a reason I told you to stay outside. MCGEE: And there's a reason that I came in. Look. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SHEPARD'S OFFICE - DAY (DOOR OPENS) SHEPARD: Come on in. (DOOR CLOSES) SHEPARD: I take it this isn't a social call. TONY: I need some advice. SHEPARD: And you came to me? TONY: Well, it was either you or Gibbs, and his track record with women sucks. So... (BEAT) I'm finding um... myself in a particularly odd situation with... someone... special. SHEPARD: Odd? TONY: Odd, yeah. Odd. Because we've been going out for over a month and w-we haven't done something that I usually do uh, you know, a lot ... a lot earlier than that. SHEPARD: And may I ask what it is that's holding you back from doing what you usually do? TONY: Yeah. Um... because of the particular importance of this person, I thought it would be a good idea to take things slowly, which is kind of a new concept for me. But at a certain point things have to speed up. R-Right? SHEPARD: Are you attracted to her? TONY: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I could make a meal. SHEPARD: Is she attracted to you? (BEAT) So what's the problem?(TONY NODS HIS HEAD) (SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) TONY: (INTO PHONE) Dinozzo.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) BOLO just came back on McGee's sister. Campus security has her. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) Well, let Gibbs know. He's there with McGee. (SCENE CUT) ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) I did. He wants us to bring her in. TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Okay, I'll be right down. (SCENE CUT) (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) SHEPARD: Good luck. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. LIBRARY STACKS - DAY TATE: I'm Security Officer Tate. One of the librarians reported her. Apparently she sleeps here a lot. ZIVA: Ah, how McGee-ish of her. TONY: Must be in the McGeenome. TATE: You want her for more than GTA, don't you? (BEAT) I didn't have the authority to arrest her, but if you want me to, you know -- ZIVA: We'll take it from here. (TONY AND ZIVA WALK TO SARA AT THE DESK) (SFX: TONY CLEARS HIS THROAT) SARAH: No, you can't have my number. TONY: I already have your number, Sarah. SARAH: It's not what you guys think. My eyes water when I read a lot and these lights are really crappy. Are you guys here to arrest me? TONY: No. ZIVA: You do have to come with us, though. SARAH: Yeah, sure. Are you guys just being nice to me 'cause Tim's my big brother? TONY: No, I'm always nice to hot girls. SARAH: You must be Tommy. TONY: Tony. SARAH: Sorry, in Tim's book you're Tommy. Which would make you Lisa. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (SFX: VOICES B.G.) MCGEE: Where have you been?! SARAH: The library. I told you I had to study. You know, Tony is much cuter than Tommy. MCGEE: Tommy? TONY: Hmm. You know, if you rearrange these letters, you get... ZIVA: Timothy McGee! SARAH: You should have told me this was a secret! TONY: I can't wait to read about your swashbuckling, socially repugnant Special Agent Tommy. ZIVA: (GIGGLES) And Lisa, the sultry and emotionally distant Mossad Officer. TONY: Or their boss, L.J. Tibbs, who (READS) "drinks to alleviate the burden of his Messianic complex." Where is L.J., Dead Agent Walking? MCGEE: Evidence garage. (SFX: TONY CHUCKLES) MCGEE: Tony! Tony! (TO SARAH) I'm going to kill you! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. EVIDENCE GARAGE - DAY GIBBS: Where'd you find it, Abs? ABBY: Stuffed behind the seat cushion. (ELEVATOR DINGS/ DOORS OPEN/ CLOSE) TONY: Hey, Boss? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TAXI - FLASHBACK VOICE: (V.O./MUFFLED) Are you okay? PETTY: (V.O./MUFFLED) Sarah! Hey, no! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. EVIDENCE GARAGE - DAY MCGEE: You didn't find that in the taxi, did you? (MUSIC UP AND OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM ZIVA: (V.O.) Who studies while they wait to be interrogated for murder? TONY: A McGeek. (READS) "Lisa's eyes reminded him of emeralds." ZIVA: Oh. TONY: (READS) "Flawed only by the icicles in her heart." ZIVA: He's dead. (READS) "And the field Agent Tommy is a dogged pursuer of dirt bags!" TONY: Yeah. (ZIVA CHUCKLES) ZIVA: And any skirt over the age of eighteen. TONY: (TO SARAH) Your brother's dead. SHEPARD: (V.O.) Sarah threatened to kill Seaman Petty by email. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY SHEPARD: A taxi picked her up near the crime scene at the time of the murder. The blood on her clothes matches the victim's and her fingerprints are on the murder weapon. Other than being your sister, is there any evidentiary reason why she shouldn't be charged? MCGEE: But she is my sister, Director. Sarah may have a temper, but she lashes out with her mouth or a pen, not a knife. SHEPARD: And I hope you have more to offer than brotherly love, Agent McGee. MCGEE: She was drugged. She showed up at my door groggy, barely able to walk. She couldn't remember anything except leaving the food court. SHEPARD: The lab reports for drugs and alcohol were negative. MCGEE: Well, by the time those tests were taken, whatever was in her system had metabolized. SHEPARD: And if that's true, whose fault is that? MCGEE: Mine. I should have taken Sarah in. SHEPARD: (OVERLAP) But you didn't bring her in! Agent DiNozzo and Officer David did, so your actions - or should I say inactions - did nothing to help your sister. But it did impugn the integrity of this agency! MCGEE: Forgive me, Director, for not putting the integrity of NCIS before my sister! It won't happen again. (MCGEE WALKS TO THE DOOR) (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) (DOOR OPENS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY GIBBS: McGee! Hey! MCGEE: Boss, don't try and talk me out of this. GIBBS: Never let someone manipulate you like that again. Not even the Director! MCGEE: She wanted me to quit? GIBBS: It's her job to protect NCIS. Come here. Sit down. MCGEE: Boss, you don't think that-- GIBBS: You sit out here until I get back! MCGEE: Boss, you don't think Sarah did it, do you? GIBBS: I don't know, McGee. I'll know after I interrogate her. MCGEE: Can I watch from-- GIBBS: No! MCGEE: Please, from observation!? GIBBS: (OVERLAP) No! MCGEE: Boss, I can't just sit here. GIBBS: Here. Read a book. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) GIBBS: What's your major? SARAH: English Lit. GIBBS: You intend to be a writer like your brother? SARAH: I intend on being a writer. GIBBS: Why the smartass answer? SARAH: What?! GIBBS: You put your brother down. SARAH: No, I didn't. GIBBS: Yeah, you did. He just resigned because of you. SARAH: No! But Tim loves NCIS. GIBBS: Evidently he loves you more. (SFX: SARAH CRIES) SARAH: I'm sorry. GIBBS: Fake tears don't bother me. SARAH: I don't fake tears! GIBBS: Just lapses in memory. SARAH: I don't remember! (LONG BEAT) I just get... quick film cuts. GIBBS: Hold onto them. SARAH: I can't. GIBBS: Because you don't want to. SARAH: I do. GIBBS: If you did, you'd remember. SARAH: And how would you know? GIBBS: I've been there. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. CAFETERIA/CAMPUS - FLASHBACK PETTY: (MUFFLED) Sarah, stop it! Stop it! What are you doing? What are you doing? SARAH: (MUFFLED) No! No! No! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM SARAH: I stabbed him. (CRYING) I stabbed Jeff! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY ABBY: What's your sister's favorite pizza? MCGEE: What? ABBY: Her favorite pizza! Come on, Tim. It's not a trick question. MCGEE: Uh... cheeseless with pickles, Tabasco and peanut butter. ABBY: (SHOUTS) Yes! Yes! Yes! MCGEE: Yes? ABBY: Your sister was doped. Where's Gibbs? Where is everybody? MCGEE: Interrogation. ABBY: Well go get him and bring him down to my lab. And there's more! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM (SFX: SARAH CRIES B.G.) (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) MCGEE: Abby's got great news. It's not great, it's actually terrible, but it explains why Sarah can't - what did Gibbs do to my sister?(SFX: SARAH CRIES B.G.) TONY: Nothing. She admitted stabbing Seaman Petty. (DOOR OPENS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM (DOOR OPENS) MCGEE: Sarah doesn't know what she's saying. GIBBS: McGee. MCGEE: Boss, she was drugged. Abby has proof. GIBBS: Stay with her. (DOOR CLOSES) MCGEE: Hey. Hey. SARAH: (CRYING) I remember the knife. I remember Jeff lying there. MCGEE: Oh, no, no, no, no. My little sister could never kill anyone. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ABBY'S LAB - DAY ABBY: I was pouring over all the forensic evidence. The trash from the crime scene, and every inch of the taxi, and I realized that the floor mat smells like Nilosorb. TONY: Nilosorb?(SFX: TONY COUGHS) GIBBS: Industrial vomit cleaner. ABBY: So I took what was left down there. I ran it through the mass spec, and found what McGee has confirmed to be Sarah's favorite late night snack. Cheeseless pizza with Tabasco, pickles, and peanut butter. ZIVA: Yuck! ABBY: But I also found traces of sodium oxybate - a.k.a. GHB. It didn't show up in her urine sample because it metabolizes so quickly. Which is probably what makes it such a popular date-rape drug. TONY: You think Seaman Petty tried to rape her? ZIVA: Her ex-boyfriend? TONY: There's nothing like a death threat from an ex-girlfriend to get your dander up. ZIVA: Are you talking from experience, Tony? ABBY: So the levels of GHB allowed me to triangulate a window of exposure. She was dosed at the food court. GIBBS: Dinozzo. TONY: Pull the security tapes from the food court. On it, Boss! (TONY WALKS O.S.) GIBBS: Ziva! ZIVA: Names of food workers, janitors, and anyone working that night. (ZIVA WALKS O.S.) GIBBS: What was I going to tell you? ABBY: I don't know. What were you going to tell me, Il Magnifico? (SFX: KISS) GIBBS: Good job. ABBY: But I have more! I solved the mystery of the smoking goldfish. At first I couldn't figure out how they were lighting the cigarettes underwater. And then I found this. They were trying to kick the habit. Our little Nemos were swimming in a bag that sprung a leak. Sprang a leak. Sprung, sprang, sprung - so their little lives flashed before their eyes in a nicotine buzz. Hey, do you think since goldfish only have three seconds of memory-- GIBBS: Abby, get Ducky on that. ABBY: I don't know, Gibbs. That is a very complicated piece of equipment. Probably have to go get the manual out, and-- GIBBS: Abs! ABBY: Ducky? DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) Yes, my little lotus blossom. ABBY: Gibbs wants you! GIBBS: You know when the goldfish died? DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) Well, I was just determining the time they expired. ABBY: Are you using a little teeny tiny liver probe? DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) Being cold-blooded, temperature is useless in determining the time of death. GIBBS: So you don't know? DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) Au contraire. They died about the same time as our victim. ABBY: Now how did you calculate that? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY GIBBS: Track Sarah McGee from the time she enters until she leaves. TONY: Uh... okay. Uh... oops. Uh... that was the wrong way. I'm sorry. Sorry, Boss. One second.(SFX: KEYBOARDING B.G.) GIBBS: Dinozzo. (SFX: KEYBOARDING/ BEEP TONES B.G.) (ZIVA GIGGLES) TONY: It froze. This is sort of a McGeek thing. (SFX: KEYBOARDING) GIBBS: Get him! (TONY RUNS O.S.) GIBBS: Do you know what a clog is? ZIVA: A shoe or a block to drain? GIBBS: On the Internet. ZIVA: I thought that was a blog, but my English is often wrong. GIBBS: Sarah McGee wrote a blog trashing her and the cheerleaders. You think you can find it? ZIVA: Probably on MySpace. Who is she? GIBBS: Seaman Petty's girlfriend. Sarah's ex-roommate. (SFX: KEYBOARDING) ZIVA: Ha! (READS) "These preppy little girls, all skanked up to the nines in their adorable cheerleading uniforms, which had been mistakenly ordered in children's sizes, were engaged in strangely homoerotic, Adderol-fueled spastic movements that they called dance routines." TONY: Where's that from? SARAH: It's my blog. TONY: Ha ha. You should let your sister ghost-write for you, Probie. GIBBS: Find your sister entering the food court. How do you get a ready-made cheeseless pizza with Tabasco sauce, pickles, and peanut butter? SARAH: Oh, I make it myself. The food court has everything but peanut butter, so I carry a jar in my backpack. GIBBS: McGee, isolate her table. MADISON: (V.O.) Ready?! MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: EXT. QUAD AREA - DAY MADISON: One, two, down, up! Steady! Hold it, Heather! Oh, take five! CAROLYN: Whatever happened to quitting? MADISON: After football season. Why don't you go home? CAROLYN: I'd rather be here. MADISON: Seen enough of my ass? MCGEE: What do you think, Tony? TONY: I don't know. There's a lot to see. MADISON: (GASPS) Stay the hell away from me, jerk! TONY: It's amazing what a college education does for a girl's vocabulary, don't you think? MCGEE: Astonishing. I believe you know my sister. (SFX: SLAP) SARAH: That was for spiking my peanut butter! (SFX: SLAP) SARAH: And that was for setting me up to be raped. TONY: This is for being an accessory to murder. MADISON: What?! CAROLYN: Madison! MADISON: They're framing me! I didn't do anything! MCGEE: We've got you starring in the Food Court Show. TONY: Spiking Sarah's peanut butter with GHB. MADISON: Oh, yeah. Try and prove that from a security camera! SARAH: Your greasy paw prints are all over my peanut butter jar. MCGEE: And we have you leaving the food court with Officer Tate. CAROLYN: You murdered Jeff? MADISON: (SHOUTS) No! I was just using Tate to get even for this bitch's blog, and Jeff saw Tate grappling with her and tried to play hero. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. CAMPUS - FLASHBACK SARAH: (MUFFLED/ECHO F/X) Get off! PETTY: (MUFFLED/ECHO F/X) Let go of her!(PETTY MOANS B.G.) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. QUAD - DAY MADISON: Tate stabbed him. I dropped everything and ran! TATE: You stabbed him! Put the knife in her hand, put the cell phone in his pocket. MADISON: You lying bstrd! TATE: Lying bitch! GIBBS: Get them out of here. TATE: I didn't do anything! TONY: (OVERLAP/V.O.) You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to do splits.(TONY/TATE AND MADISON WALK O.S.) MADISON: (V.O.) Let go of me! I didn't do anything! TATE: (V.O.) Yes, you did! Madison did it! MADISON: (V.O.) Oh, shut up! SARAH: I'm sorry. Jeff was a great guy, and he really loved you. CAROLYN: How would you know? SARAH: He emailed me. He said he was sorry, but he'd met his soul mate. It was you. (SFX: CAROLYN CRIES B.G.) GIBBS: Sometimes, McGee.... a little lie - it's good for the soul. (MUSIC UP AND OUT)	Plan: A: McGee's younger sister; Q: Who is Sarah? A: the middle of the night; Q: When did Sarah show up at McGee's door? A: his own independent investigation; Q: What does McGee begin when his sister shows up at his door? A: the past several hours; Q: What does Sarah have no memory of? A: the NCIS team; Q: Who is investigating a case of a Navy sailor? A: McGee's sister; Q: Who is the Navy sailor connected to? A: love problems; Q: What are Tony and Abby busy with? A: another secret; Q: What does McGee have that Tony and Abby don't know about? Summary: When McGee's younger sister Sarah shows up disoriented and bloodied at his door in the middle of the night, and claims that she may have killed someone, McGee takes matters into his own hands, beginning his own independent investigation. Sarah claims that she is innocent, but has no memory of the past several hours and refuses to go with McGee to NCIS. While McGee works on figuring out what happened to his sister, the NCIS team is investigating a case of a Navy sailor, who is somehow connected to McGee's sister. Both Tony and Abby are busy with love problems, while McGee turns out to have another secret.
Angel: "You had a vision." Cordy: "Boy! Howdy!" Cordy: "Doyle kissed me just before he died and he passed it on to me!" Angel: "You're my link to the Powers now." Wesley on his motorcycle. Angel (voice over): "What's hunting you?" Barney (voice over): "He's unstoppable. Like a machine. He's an assassin." Wesley aiming crossbow: "Hello, Angel." Cordy and Wesley in Angel's apartment. Cordy: "Wesley?!? What are you doing here? Are you working with Angel?" Wesley: "I'm a rogue demon hunter now." Cordy: "What's a rogue demon?" Night. A girl is running for her life, terrified of whatever is chasing her. Rounds a corner and runs right into a man. He grabs her, lays a metal tipped finger against her lips. We get a glimpse of fangs. He draws a mark on her cheek, bites and drains her. Camera pans overhead as her lifeless body slips to the ground. There are police sirens in the background. The vampire looks up at the camera, and its Angel in vamp face. We get a close up of his face as he morphs back into human face and we see him gasping for breath. He's sitting up on his bed fully dressed and clearly wigged. Cut to Kate driving up to a crime scene in a police car. Kate: "Where?" Officer: "Over there detective." Kate bends down to look at the victim. It's the girl from Angel's dream. There are bite marks on her neck and a cross has been scratched on her left cheek. Kate: "It's the same guy. This makes three. He's just getting started." Intro. Cordy sitting behind her desk in Angel's office. Cordy: "I believe in Los Angeles. It's the city of dreams, a mystical oasis, built from a dessert. (Gets up and plays with the blinds) But even sunny blond LA has its trashy dark roots, and you've learned that the hard way, haven't you? (Walks around her desk and leans over an empty chair) You've taken your problem to the police, they can't help you, so you've come to us." Office door opens to admit Wesley carrying a newspaper and some letters in his hand. Wesley: "I think it's about to speak." Cordy straightens up: "Nobody likes a smart-ass, rogue demon hunter. What do you want, Wesley?" Wesley comes in: "Just thought I'd pop round so we might compare battle plans from our respective fronts." Cordy: "Oh, I thought you worked alone?" Wesley: "Well, even a solitary soldier, such as myself, recognizes that a free exchange of intelligence benefits the common struggle. - Also, I brought in your mail and newspaper." Cordy takes it: "Oh, thanks. So what have you got?" Wesley: "Got?" Cordy: "You wanted to compare skinnies on the current 'evil happenings'." Wesley: "Yes. Skinnies. Precisely. - Uh, right, well... Everything seems quiet." Cordy: "Okay. Well, - thanks for stopping by." Wesley sits down across form Cordy's desk: "And you? - How go things on your end of the good fight?" Cordy: "I've been giving the hard sell to an empty chair. What do you think?" Wesley: "Quiet all around then. (Cordy looks at the paper and mail he brought in) Well, I'll keep myself available. The situation can only escalate. We made a most effective team, I felt. Vanquishing that empathy demon in such short order." Cordy: "Yeah, well, nobody gauged out my eyes, so I'm happy." Wesley: "Yes, most effective. Your cryptic visions, Angel's brawn, my highly developed powers of deduction rounding out..." Cordy hands the mail back to him: "This isn't our mail." Wesley: "Sorry?" Cordy points to one of the letters: "See here? The dentist office - next door." Wesley takes the bundle: "Oh, I see. I didn't... (Sees something on the front page of the paper) realize..." Cordy: "Something wrong? You stopped yammering." Wesley takes a deep breath and gets up: "I, ah, I suppose I should return these items to their proper owner." Wesley leaves just as Angel comes out of the elevator, slamming the grate open, and walks into the office. Angel: "Who were you talking to?" Cordy frowns at him: "Nobody. And Wesley. Uhm, so, you remember that license plate we got on that runaway case?" Angel pouring himself some coffee: "I remember you were going to follow up on it." Cordy: "No go. The BMV is totally stalker-phobic. And wow! You look half-dead. (Angel looks at her) Which for someone, who's completely dead, would be - kind of neat?" Angel walks over to her desk and holds out a hand: "License plate, Cordelia." Cordy hands him the paper: "Uh, right. I thought maybe you could have police woman run it for us on the Q.T.?" Angel: "Kate." Cordy: "Are you sure you're okay? I mean for a guy who's 200 plus, you're not usually (points at her eyes) with the bags." Angel walks towards the door: "I'll do this now." Cordy stares after him: "Hey..." Angel looks back, irritated: "Look, I'm fine Cordelia. All right?" Cordy: "All right." Angel walks out the door and right into a patch of sunlight. Jerks back, hissing with pain and turns back into the office. Angel: "I'll take the tunnels." Cordy gets up and shuts the office door. Camera pans over to show Wesley lurking in the foyer, mail still in hand. He looks at the closed door than sneaks towards the exit. Cut to the police station. Kate walks in with Angel following her. Kate: "You know I'm not supposed to release that kind of information to a civilian, Angel." Angel: "I know." Kate: "If it were anyone else..." Angel: "I appreciate it, Kate." Kate sits down at her desk: "I know you do. So I don't mind. I'll run it myself, have it for you by morning." Angel: "No rush. Late afternoon, evening will be fine, actually." Kate: "To be honest, I won't mind getting my head out of this case. Even for a minute." Angel: "Tough one?" Kate looks down at a picture of an older man: "The first victim, Reggie Sparks, volunteered as a crossing-guard. (Pulls over another photo as Angel walks around to look over her shoulder) Jinny Markem, she just started the tenth grade, and Jessica Halpren, 25, worked as a waitress. (Looks up at Angel) And do you know what they all have in common? - What he did to them. That's all." Angel: "That's not all. They have you." Officer hands a folder to Kate: "Here are the crime scene photos you wanted." Kate: "Thanks. (Opens the folder to look at the photos) Look, why don't you stop by tomorrow? By then I'll have invaded a citizen's right to privacy for you, and you can... (Looks up at Angel, who's staring at the photos. Flash to the scene from his dream.) Yeah, it's pretty grim, isn't it? I've spent the last 48 hours putting together a suspect profile, and believe me, being inside this guy's head hasn't been a whole lot of fun. - The tabloids are calling him 'the pope'. Probably thinks he's doing God's work." Angel still staring: "No. Just the opposite. This is about mocking God. (Sees her looking at him) That's my guess." Officer to Kate: "Detective? They're ready for you now." Kate: "Yeah, okay. Looks like it's show... (She looks back at Angel and sees that he is halfway out of the office already) ...time." Cut to the police briefing. Kate: "Our suspect will be a white male. To the observer he will not seem a monster. His victims put up little or no struggle, so it's likely that he is charming, attractive, (blends into footage of Angel walking down a crowded street at night) but at his core he is a loner. Possibly a dual personality, who once the crime has been committed, retains no memory of the act. (Blend back to Kate giving the briefing) He will not view his victims as subhuman, rather it's himself that he views as something other than human, more than human, a superior species. (Blend to Angel) Stalking his prey, getting to know them. (Back to Kate) It's unlikely that he'll be married though he may have recently come off a long-term relationship that ended badly. We look for a precipitating event in cases such as this, and a painful breakup is always at the top of the list. (Blend back to Angel. He spots a blonde talking to some friends, her back to him) Prior to failing this relationship may have marked an inactive period in our suspects life. He would have regarded it as a lifeline, his salvation, (The blonde turns and it's not Buffy. Angel walks on.) but once ended, it resulted in his recidivism. - What is not in question is his experience. He's been doing this for a very long time, (blend back to Kate) and he will do it again." Cut to Cordy getting ready to leave the office. She opens the door and Wesley is just outside. They both gasp. Cordy: "Jeez, Wesley! Hover much?" Wesley comes in and closes the door: "Where is he? Where is Angel?" Cordy: "Not here. (Sees the stake in Wesley's hand) What is that?" Wesley: "Just what it looks like." Cordy: "Kind of rude coming into a vampire's place of business with one of those things, don't you think? Could be misinterpreted?" Wesley puts down his bag and pulls out a newspaper clipping: "You recall earlier this morning that mix-up with the dentists mail and newspaper? (Shows her the clipping) That's when I saw this." Cordy looks at it: "Oh, my God! You cut up Dr. Folger's newspaper? You're going to get us kicked out of this building." Wesley: "What? No, Cordelia, the clipping!" Cordy takes it: "Third body found in alley. So? Not exactly front-page news." Wesley: "Actually that is the front-page, but still, note the modus operandi? The mutilation of the corpse with a religious icon?" Cordy: "I'm against it?" Wesley sighs and takes the clipping back: "I think you better sit down. (Cordy goes to sit on the couch with a big sigh) While executing my duties as Watcher in Sunnydale, (pulls a folder out of his bag) I did extensive research. Specifically on Angel, given his uncomfortable proximity to the Slayer." Cordy: "He looked pretty comfortable to me." Wesley shows her the folder: "When I saw this story today it rang chillingly familiar. So I reacquainted myself with certain facts, confirming, I'm sorry to say, my grim suspicions. In the late 1700s it was Angelus' custom to 'sign' his victims by carving a Christian cross into their left cheek. (Cordy flips through the folder) He liked to let people know he'd been there." Cordy hands the folder back to him: "Okay, you get to leave now. - You're not gonna come in here and accuse Angel like this." Wesley: "Cordelia." Cordy gets up: "No! I don't care how many files you have on all the horrible things he did back in the powdered wig days! - He is good now. And he's my friend. And nothing you or anyone else can say will make me turn on a friend!" Angel: "Cordelia. (Wesley spins around) He's right." Cordy to Wesley: "You'll stake him and I'll cut his head off." Angel walks forward and Wesley threatens him with a cross: "Come no closer!" Angel turns his head away from the cross: "I'm not going to hurt you." Cordy: "Oh, is that what you told Miss 'third body found in alley'?" Wesley: "Why should we believe a word you say?" Angel laughs, grabs Wesley's arm and spins him around to grab him by the neck: "Because this is how fast I could take you if I wanted to." Wesley: "All right. We're listening." Angel pushes him away. Angel: "I have no memory of doing any of these things." Cordy: "Not exactly the confidence inspiring denial I was looking for." Angel goes to sit on the edge of the desk: "I've been having dreams." Wesley: "Dreams?" Angel: "Killing dreams. Always the same. (Swallows) I-I stalk them, toy with them, mark them while they are still alive. And before they can die from their fear, I feed on them." Cordy: "Okay. So you've been having nightmares, it doesn't mean you..." Angel: "They're not nightmares. I've enjoyed them." Cordy: "Oh." Wesley: "And you fear that these may be more than just dreams, that you are acting them out in some sort of hypnogogic state." Cordy: "Hypnowhatic?" Wesley: "Sleepwalking." Cordy: "Vampires can't sleepwalk. He'd take one step out of the front door and his p.j.s would burst into flame!" Wesley: "Unless it were happening in the pre-dawn hours. - Which is when all these murders took place." Angel: "There is only one way to be sure." Cut to Wesley and Cordy shackling Angel to his bed. Wesley to Cordy: "You've got to make it tight." Cordy huffs: "Like I need instructions from you. - My glamorous LA life, I get to make the coffee and chain the boss to the bed. I've got to join a union." Angel: "Cordelia, I think that's tight enough." Cordy pulls on the chain one more time: "And if it turns out that we're back on the liquid lunch, better safe than cocktails!" Angel sighs. Wesley: "Well, all we can do now is wait." Cordy sighs: "Yeah. And no offense Angel, but maybe you are committing those horrible crimes just in your dreams, but even so, I don't want to stick around for your nocturnal commissions." Angel: "I understand." Cordy: "Okay. Well, pleasant... ah, I mean, sleep tight." Angel: "That's pretty much a given." Cut to a girl dressed in old-fashioned clothes and a white bonnet running down a cobble street at night. She knocks on a locked door. A guy grabs her and lays a metal tipped finger on her lips. He marks her left cheek with a cross, then feeds off her. She falls dead to the ground. Cut to Angel with shoulder length hair, wearing old-fashioned clothes, looking down. Angel: "There now, isn't that better?" Cut to Angel waking up with a gasp, still chained to the bed. Cordelia comes in carrying a newspaper: "Wakie, wakie!" Wesley gets up from a chair at the foot of Angel's bed: "We made it." Cordy: "Great news, sport's fans, there has been another killing. Well, maybe not so great news for the - you know, dead person, but at least now we know that Mr. 'I'm so tortured' didn't do it." Wesley beds down to undo Angel's shackles, but stops when Angel says: "Yes, I did." Break Cut to the past. The Girl's is laying dead on the ground. Angel's looking down: "There now, isn't that better?" Blond vampire straightens up: "Better." Morphs into human face. Angel: "First kill. Aptly done." Penn smiles: "It's strange. She was my sister." Angelus: "And yet you feel nothing." Penn: "No, I feel hungry." Angelus: "Ah, you do learn very quickly." Penn: "My father would disagree." Angelus: "Ah, then perhaps it's time you shared with him just what a fine student you've become." Penn: "My father, yes. - They'll all be sitting down to dinner now." Angelus: "A feast. Excellent. When they invite you in, savor it, Penn. You'll not recapture the moment. Family blood is always the sweetest." Cut to Penn looking at the latest newspaper article. He has a short goat-tee, short hair, styled somewhat like Angel's, and is wearing glasses. Newspaper clippings are stuck on one wall. He adds the new clipping. Cut to Angel's apartment. Angel goes to sit down on a chair. Angel: "I taught him well." Cordy: "A real psycho-wan-kenobi." Wesley: "200 years practice. I imagine he has it down by now." Cordy: "No lie. Gallagher's changed his act more often than this dude has in the last two centuries. Why do you think he's still doing the same old schtick?" Wesley: "Well, I mean, it's a classic, isn't it? (Smiles) Every time he smashes that watermelon with a sledgehammer I just..." Angel and Cordy look at him. Angel: "I don't know why." Wesley: "You don't suppose it's his way of trying to draw you out? That he knows you're here. That might explain the dreams." Angel: "No. I used to have a connection with those I sired. It just means he's close, that's all." Cordy: "Neat. We can't find him and the cops stand absolutely zero chance of stopping him." Angel gets up to leave: "Kate." Wesley: "What are you doing?" Angel: "She doesn't know what she's dealing with, what she's up against." Wesley: "And you're not going to tell her. - Think about it. You can't walk into a police precinct with intimate knowledge about these murders and claim a 200 year-old Puritan is responsible. - You'd be locked up faster than Lady Hamilton's virtue! (Looks over at Cordy) My apologies." Cordy: "That's okay. I-I don't know what that meant." Angel: "She's a good cop. She has resources we don't. Eventually she will find him." Cordy: "Bad for her then." Angel after a beat: "Or good for us." Cut to Angel walking into the police station playing with a piece of paper in his hands. Kate sees him: "Hey. I have the info on your license plate. (He swallows and looks around) Angel, are you okay? Not that the 'brooding man of mystery' thing isn't working for you. I mean it is. A lot." Angel: "Can we talk somewhere in private?" Kate: "Sure, of course." She leads him into the briefing room. Kate: "What is it?" Angel: "Ah... (Closes the door and goes to look at the crime photos pinned on a cork board) How's the investigation?" Kate: "It's nowhere. (Pulls out her necklace and plays with the cross on it) Some of your more inconsiderate serial killers often fail to leave us any clues. (Angel stares at the pictures) Angel?" Angel looks from picture to picture, matching them up to flashes of Penn's dead family. Angel: "He's reliving it." Kate: "What's going on?" Angel turns around and sees the cross held between her fingers. Angel: "It's complicated." Kate: "So make it simple." Angel: "Kate, do you trust me?" Kate: "You know I do." Angel unfolds the paper in his hands and pins the drawing of a face to the corkboard. Angel: "Trust me when I tell you - this is the man you're looking for." Kate: "Where did you get that? How could you possibly..." Angel: "Do you trust me?" Kate: "I don't understand. Are you protecting a source? (Angel just looks at her) Yes, I trust you." Angel: "His next victim will be a white male, adolescent. He'll take him off the streets in a low rent neighborhood. Probably near a bar or liquor store and he'll kill him just like he did these others. Unless you use every resource this department has to make sure he is not successful this time." Cut to Angel walking through the police garage to his car. Wesley is sitting in the passenger seat. Wesley looks at his watch: "So, I take it you told her everything." Angel: "Just enough to get her killed." Wesley: "Well, we'll just have to see that doesn't happen." Angel: "Exactly. (Hands him a police scanner) Once you hook this up, she finds something, we'll know about it." Wesley: "Where did you get the police radio?" Angel: "Police car." Wesley: "Oh dear!" [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Kate briefing her officers with the help of a city map. Kate: " So lets set up patrols here and here. Anything matching the profile gets reported." Cut to a young kid accosting people in front of a liquor store. Kid: "Excuse me, Sir, could you buy me some beer. I left my I.D at home and I can't... (Man ignores him and enters the store) Wipe." Sees a woman heading towards the store: "Ma'am, ma'am, could you possibly pick me up some beer? It's for my mother, she needs..." Woman ignores him, and the kid turns away frustrated to spot a guy watching him: "Hey dude, are you old enough to buy beer?" Penn smiles at him. Cut to a cop car pulling up. They have a copy of Angel's drawing and watch as Penn leads the kid away. Cut to Penn and the kid walking down a deserted street. Kid: "Are you sure about this man? I don't think there is any discount liquor store over here." Penn: "You know you remind me of a brother I once had." Kid: "Yeah, whatever. I think we're going nowhere here." Penn: "Good point." Kid turns around and Penn, in vamp face grabs and bites him, just as a bunch of police cars are closing in from all sides. Penn looks up, blood on his mouth. Officer: "You! Right there, hold it!" Penn drops the kid, runs and jumps through the boarded up second story window into a warehouse, while the cop stares in disbelief. Cut to Angel's car. Police scanner: "All units. Backup requested at 3336 Channel Avenue. Use caution. Multiple homicide suspect believed to be on the location." They pull up to the scene. Officer talking to Kate: "Search teams are on their way now. He went in through there. We've sealed the exits. The place is big, but we'll find him." The kid is being wheeled away on a stretcher, shaken but alive. Kate pulls her gun: "I'm going in." Angel spots a drain pipe on the side of the building and backs up to park the car. He and Wesley get out. Angel: "Meet you back here." He takes a hold of the pipe and scales up it as if it were nothing. Cut to the inside of the warehouse. Kate is slowly walking up some stairs, enters a big room. She hears footsteps and aims her gun at Penn who is coming down some wooden steps. Kate: "Don't move! - Do not move, I will fire!" Penn keeps walking and she shoots him three times in the chest. He falls to land motionless at the bottom of the stairs. Kate slowly walks over to him, her gun trained on his chest, and reaches down one hand to check for a pulse. When she doesn't find one she holsters her gun and takes out her radio to report in. Penn reaches up and grabs her by the front of her shirt. Penn: "Ouch." He throws her across the room. She tries to pick herself up as he slowly saunters towards her. Suddenly a figure drops through the floor above to land between them in a cloud of dust. Angel briefly looks to make sure Kate is all right then turns to face Penn. Penn: "Angelus? (Laughs) Angelus! (Claps him on the arms) My God! It's been a life time!" Angel: "At least." Penn: "We were to meet in Italy, remember?" Angel: "I remember." Penn smiling: "Well, I waited. (Kate crawls towards her radio) Hell, I waited until the 19th century. What happened?" Angel: "Got held up in Romania." Penn: "Romania. What's in Romania?" Angel: "Gypsies." Kate quietly to the radio: "Request assistance. Full tactical units. Second floor, southwest corner." Penn claps Angel on the shoulder and motions towards Kate: "Hmm. Join me for a drink." Angel: "That's not why I'm here." Kate to radio: "Request assistance, suspect sighted..." Penn: "Yeah, why are you here?" Angel morphs into vamp face as Kate stares in disbelief: "To kill you." They fight, both in vamp face, and it is one doozy of a fight. Kate scoots back against the wall while they throw each other around, watching speechless. Angel throws Penn through a plaster wall and turns to yell at Kate: "Go, Kate! Get out of here! - Kate, go!" Penn comes shooting back through the hole and tackles Angel. Both roll quickly back to their feet. Penn: "You know its name? Angelus, what happened to you?" Angel swings at Penn, but he ducks, grabs Angel's arm and twists it behind his back. Angel: "People change." Penn: "We're not people!" Penn throws Angel into Kate, who has her gun aimed at them. By the time Angel gets back up, Penn has disappeared. Kate stares up at his vamp face. Radio: "Lockley. Lockley, where are you?" Cut to later. Angel is back in human face. There are officers combing the warehouse. Kate: "I shot him three times. I know I did. And he got up. (Angel steps towards her and she pulls her gun and aims it point blank at his chest) If I pull this trigger, are you going to get up, too? (Angel just looks at her) What are you?" Angel: "You already know the answer, Kate. (She slowly puts her gun down and Angel walks past her) Details have been left out of the press reports. Something you held back. Isn't that right?" Kate: "What do you know about it?" Angel: "Puncture wounds. The victims have all been drained of their blood, haven't they?" Kate: "And should I trust you more, or less because you happen to know that?" Angel: "You're not going to stop him, Kate, not like this." Kate: "What do you mean?" Angel: "It's going to take direct sunlight, decapitation, - or a stake through the heart." Kate turns away: "You're telling me children's stories." Angel: "I'm telling you the truth." Kate spins back: "No. I don't believe you." Angel: "I know you don't. Even after what you saw you won't let yourself, which is why you'll lose." Kate: "I've heard enough." Angel closes his fist around the cross dangling from her necklace and she gasps at the sound of his flesh sizzling: "No, you haven't heard a word, and you won't. Not now, not yet. (She looks down at the smoke rising from his fist) Because there are some things in this world you're just not ready to face." Angel walks off and she stares after him. Cut to Kate sitting in the briefing room, staring at the picture on the wall. An officer brings in some old records. Officer: "Here is everything with that MO dating back as far as I could find. So, you think this guy is a copy-cat and a history buff?" Kate: "Something like that." Kate looks at some old newspaper headlines. One of them reads 'Vampire Killer Strikes Again in Garment District'. Cut to Cordy getting up from behind her desk. Cordy: "So, you've discovered the seamy underbelly of the candy coated America, have you? Well, you've come to the right place! Here at Angel Investigations we won't judge, but we will charge. Now, if you only tell me how you heard of us." Penn: "From the police actually." Cordy: "Really?" Penn: "Yeah. The Detective I spoke with was very enthusiastic. For the truly human touch, she said, (Gets up from his chair) I should come to you." Cordy: "Oh good. (Frowns as she sees the dark overcoat hanging over the back of his chair) Is it cold out there?" Penn: "I'm trying to remember her name. What - what was it? She is about yea tall, attractive, natural blonde?" Cordy: "Oh yeah, Kate! Detective Lockley." Penn: "Lockley. - Yes, that's it." Cordy: "Yeah, she and Angel are totally tight." Penn: "So, she is more than just a professional relationship then. He cares for her." Cordy: "Oh, yeah. More than he knows. But that's our Angel, dour, sure, but not afraid to get personally involved in his work. And you're totally pumping me for information, aren't you?" Penn: "Yeah." Cordy: "Oh crap. You're him. He. The guy. Apt pupil boy." Penn: "You realize you'll never make it to the exit before I..." Cordy pulls up the blinds and Penn has to dodge away from the direct sunlight streaming in: "Go up like a match?" Angel walks in and sees Penn, but he is separated from him by the swath of sun shining in through the window. Penn: "Well. (Laughs) Look who's back from his 'up with people' meeting." Angel not looking away from Penn: "Give me a stake." Cordy: "It's like 8 in the morning. - Oh, you mean like (makes a stabbing motion), okay." Cordy leaves to get a stake. Penn: "What? You don't drink, so now no one gets to?" Angel: "I don't expect you to understand." Penn: "Oh, I - I understand. I was a Puritan, remember?" Angel: "It's gotta end." Penn: "Why? - Because you say so? And how does that work exactly? You just wake up one morning and decide 'Okay, now I'm good!' (Laughs) No, Angelus, it doesn't end. It never, ever ends. It just goes on and on." Cordy comes back with a stake: "That's not the only thing that goes on and on. (Hands the stake to Angel) Here, dust him." Angel: "I'm sorry for what I did to you, Penn, for what I turned you into." Penn: "First class killer? An Artist? A bold re-interpreter of the form?" Angel: "Try cheesy hack. Look at you. You've been getting back at your father for over 200 years. It's pathetic and cliched. Probably got a killer shrine on your wall, huh? News clippings, magazine articles, maybe a few candles? Oh, you are so prosaic." Penn slowly retreats towards the door when it opens and Wesley walks in not seeing Penn. Wesley: "Nothing on the streets about a new vampire in town." Cordy tries to warn him, but Penn has already grabbed Wesley from behind. Angel steps forward, but is again stopped by the sunlight streaming in through the window. Wesley in a choked voice: "Which is maybe because he's here - and has me by the throat." Angel: "Let him go!" Penn: "You're right Angelus, my work was getting stale. I appreciate the critique. So look for something new, innovative, something shockingly original. Just think of the worst possible thing you can imagine, and I'll see you there." Penn throws Wesley at Angel, grabs his coat, covers his head with it and runs out. Cut to a bookstore called the "Ancient Eye". Kate is looking through the shelves. Blend into Angel walking the streets at night. Blend into Penn sitting in his apartment contemplating his next move. Blend to Kate taking notes. We keep changing from one to the other. (Very Batman-like music in the background) Cut to Kate at home, still taking notes while reading through books. There is a knock on the door. Angel: "Hi. Can I come in?" Kate: "Oh, that's right. You have to be invited in, don't you?" Angel: "You've been doing your homework." Kate: "Want to quiz me? I'm just full of fun facts. For instance, I learned that your friend has been in LA before, did you know that? Yeah, at least twice. Once in 1929 and again in 1963. Oh and there is something in Boston in 1908. I think he was there, too." Angel: "So you believe me?" Kate: "Yes, I believe you." Angel: "Good, because he is planning something..." Kate: "Angelus. Isn't that what he called you? Angelus? I looked it up. It's all right there. The demon with the face of an angel. A particularly brutal bstrd by all accounts. Oh, and no, you can't come in." Angel: "I can't make up for the past, Kate, I know that." Kate: "No you can't. In fact all of this what's happening now, is really because of you. You made him, didn't you?" Angel quietly: "Let me help end it, please?" Kate: "Please. Now there is a word I imagine you heard quite a lot in your time. Please... no... don't? Thanks for the offer, but I don't need your help. I know what to do. Drive a stake right through the son of a bitch's heart. And when that happens I suggest you don't be there. Because the next time we meet I'll do the same to you." Slams the door in his face. Cut to Angel's office. Cordy is looking stuff up on the computer. Cordy: "Ha, here it is! Los Angeles Globe, 1929. 'The Regent Gardens Hotel manager said, that the suspect seemed like a quiet, normal type. The search is ongoing.' No kidding. What are we looking for exactly?" Angel: "I don't know yet." Wesley reading from an old newspaper book: "In 1963 the police tracked the killer to a residential hotel called the Clover Wood Apartments. By the time they made their move, he'd already fled. (He shows them the picture in the paper) They never caught him." Cordy looks from the picture on the computer to the picture in the book: "It's the same place. New name and a face lift. Not the first time that's happened in this town." Angel: "Huh, good old predictable Penn." Cut to Angel and Wesley entering Penn's Hotel room. Wesley jumps in with a stake in his hand while Angel just walks in. Wesley: "Oh, I invite you in." Angel: "Relax. That's only for humans. Breaking and entering another vampire's lair isn't a problem." Wesley: "Oh. Right." Angel looks around: "He's not here." Wesley sighs: "So what then, we wait? Raid the icebox and try to think of the worst possible thing we can imagine?" Angel picks up some photos of a school bus from the table: "Stop imagining." Wesley comes over, sees the photos, the bus route traced on a map and a Parker Middle School Fall Bus schedule laying on the table. Wesley: "Good Lord. All those school children." Angel: "He's finally changing his act." Cut to the briefing room at the precinct. Kate: "All right, listen up. (Holds up a copy of Angel's drawing of Penn) You've all received one of these in your briefing packets. This is the man that we're looking for. (Holds up two pictures of Angel taking by the security cameras during Sense and Sensitivity). And this man is how we're going to find him. He's the way to our killer. His name is Angel and he's a local private detective. We have reason to believe that our suspect will make an attempt to contact Angel, possibly as his next target." Detective: "So we are going to stake out Angel's place? How many men do you want?" Kate: "Lots. We'll be working in rotating teams..." Penn: "This is a terrible likeness of me. (Kate stares as he walks into the room) Uh, the mouth, it's all wrong!" Two detective jump him, as Kate yells "No!". Penn throws the two men across the room as if they were puppets. Kate scrambles to get a stake out of her purse while we see just how much faster a vampire's reactions are than those of regular people. Penn sweeps through the room easily taking out two cops on his way towards Kate. Kate's stake drops useless on the floor as he grabs her and leaves the room using her as a shield. Cut to Wesley driving Angel's car into the underground garage of the police station. The place is humming with activity. Wesley: "We're in." Angel throws aside the blanket he was hiding under. Wesley: "I don't understand. What about the school children? Shouldn't we be..." A cop slaps his hand on the hood of their car: "Hold it right there!" Then waves some police cars on to drive past them. Angel putting aside a yellow blanket: "He's here." Gets out of the car. Police scanner: "Dragnet in progress. Suspect is believed to be in the vicinity of the 12th street station. Secure area. Use caution." Angel runs in between the police cars to a sewer cover that's partially open. Cut to Penn dragging Kate through the sewer tunnels. Kate: "What are you going to do?" Penn: "Well, first I thought I'd stop everything and tell you my plan. Or better yet (throws her against a wall) why don't I just show you? (Morphs into his vamp face, saunters up to her, grabs her by the neck and sniffs her cheek) Ah, smell that fear. (Laughs) Makes the blood sweeter. You know who taught me that?" Kate: "I'm not afraid to die." Penn: "Oh, I'm not going to kill you. But when I'm finished, Angel will." Angel: "Bus full of school children, Penn? You really thought I was gonna fall for that?" Kate reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out a glass bottle as Penn's attention is on Angel. Penn: "Well, you could have." Angel: "Nah, - too original." Kate splashes some Holy Water into Penn's face. He screams and throws her to the side. The left side of his face is a mass of angry red burns. Penn: "Well, you were right about one thing, Angelus. The last 200 years has been about me sticking it to my father. But I've come to realize something - it's you! (He jumps up and kicks Angel in the stomach) You made me! (Kicks him in the face, then double fists him a couple of times) You taught me! (Angel drops to the floor and Penn jumps on his back) You approved of me in ways my mortal father never did! You are my real father, Angelus." Angel gets up, holding Penn up above his head: "Fine! (Slams him into the ground) You're grounded." They fight on (and there are some nifty moves going on) while Kate looks around for a weapon to use. She picks up a broken board, but Penn kicks it out of her hand, then hits her in the face. Before he can do more, Angel pulls him off Kate. They continue fighting, while Kate reclaims her piece of wood. Penn walks up one wall with Angel holding him from behind, flips over Angel's head and lands behind him, holding him in a double nelson. Penn: "You forget your own lessons, old teacher: Never give up the advantage, remember?" Angel looks at Kate standing in front of them with a long piece of wood in her hands. Penn: "Living among them has made you weak! (Angel keeps looking at Kate, not even trying to break free) It sickens me to think that there was a time where you would have done whatever was necessary." We get a close up of Angel's face, a close up of the tip of the piece of wood, panning up to Kate's face, close up of Angel's eyes, close on Kate's face, back on Angel's eyes. Then we see Kate ram the piece of wood through Angel's stomach and up into Penn's heart. Angel gasps in pain while Penn turns to dust. Angel gasping and staring at the half of the board still sticking out of his stomach: "You missed." Kate wide eyed: "No I didn't." She grabs the board and pulls it back out and Angel collapses cradling his stomach and gasping from the pain. Kate sinks down to the floor a few feet away from him. Cut to Angel sitting on the roof of their building looking out over the lights of the city. Cordy walks up to him wearing a wool poncho and leans on the embrasure next to him. Cordy: "If your wondering why this vein on my temple is doing the cha-cha, it's because I just had one of those bone-crunching, mind-splitting vision headaches. (Angel looks at her then back away. Cordy hands him a piece of paper) New job." Angel takes it: "I was just thinking about how much this place is like where I grew up." Cordy looks out on the city: "Right. - Yeah. I could see that, except for the cars, and the buildings and the, you know, everything else." Angel: "It's not so different. People moving through their lives. I wonder if anything ever really changes." Cordy: "Sure it does. - They do. (Looks over at him) You have. - They were just dreams, Angel. They weren't even your dreams. They didn't mean anything." Angel: "But I enjoyed it." Cordy: "It'd probably be okay if you never mentioned that part ever again." Angel: "It's still in me, Cordelia." Cordy: "Sure it's in you. We all have something. But it's not the only thing that's in you. You're not him, Angel. Not anymore. The name I got in my vision, the message didn't come for Angelus, it came for you. Angel. And you have to trust that whoever that The Powers That Be be, - are, - is.. anyway, - they know the difference." Angel: "Yeah." Cordy: "People really do change." Angel: "Yes they do. (Gets off the embrasure and stands next to Cordy) And sometimes they change back. - If the day ever comes that I..." Cordy: "Oh, I'll kill you dead!" Angel blinks: "Thanks." Cordy turns to go: "What are friends for?" Angel follows her a half-smile on his face.	Plan: A: Kate; Q: Who is investigating a serial killer? A: L.A.; Q: Where is the serial killer stalking the streets? A: All the victims; Q: Who has a cross cut on their cheek? A: the murders; Q: What is Angel dreaming of? A: the night; Q: How long is Angel chained up? A: his one time protegee Penn; Q: Who is the serial killer? A: a vampire; Q: What is Angel's secret? Summary: Kate is investigating a serial killer who is stalking the L.A. streets. All the victims have a cross cut on their cheek, a mark that Angel once used while Angelus. Angel is dreaming of the murders, Cordelia and Wesley chain him up for the night and he then realizes that he is not the killer - it is his one time protegee Penn. When Kate goes to arrest Penn, Angel is also in pursuit - Kate finds out that Angel is a vampire.
[A gunshot rings out. We close in on two soldiers lying in a battlefield covered in dirt. One is severely wounded, the other turns his head, revealing Matthew Crawley.] The Somme, 1916 [Matthew sees to his wounded comrade. Cut to soldiers running through the field, some carrying the wounded on stretchers, bombs exploding around them. Matthew carries the wounded soldier to relative safety in the trenches.] Matthew Crawley: Sergeant Stevens! Sergeant Stevens: Sir! Matthew Crawley: I want every wounded man taken down the line before it starts to get dark. We've bloody well lost enough of them for one day. [Matthew enters his bunker where he opens a message. His man servant carries in a pitcher and cloth.] Matthew Crawley: When did this arrive? Davis: (indistinct) sir. [The bunker continually shakes and pours dirt from the ceiling.] Matthew Crawley: Ah, good news. We'll be relieved today by the [Devons?]. The men can finally get some rest, and I've got a few days' leave coming to me. Davis: What'll you do with them, sir? Matthew Crawley: London first to remind myself what real food tastes like. Then north for a couple of days, I suppose. Naturally there's a girl I want to see when I'm there. Davis: So I should hope, sir. Strange, i'n't it? Think of our old lives just going on as before while we're here in this. Matthew Crawley: More than strange. When I think of my life at Downton, it seems like another world. [OPENING TITLES] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON ABBEY - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [A servant opens the windows in the library. Other servants bustle about the rooms preparing for a benefit. Anna leads the new house maid through the rooms.] Anna: We normally have everything done before the family wakes up, but it's all at six and sevens today. I'll go through it tomorrow when we're back to normal. Ethel: I do know how to run a house. [Mr Carson gestures for some workers to move a piece of furniture.] Mr Carson: Come along. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LORD GRANTHAM'S DRESSING ROOM - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [William helps Lord Grantham dress in his old uniform. William starts to buckle the shoulder belt.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: It goes under the epaulette. [William undoes the shoulder belt and restrings it through the epaulette.] William: I'm sorry, my lord. If I'd known, I'd have asked Mr Bates about it before he left for London. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Because I'll be in uniform a lot of the time in future. William: Does being Lord Lieutenant mean you're back in the army? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Not exactly. The Lord Lieut is responsible for the army in the county while the war is on. But no, I'm not back in the army. It appears they don't want me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OUTER HALL - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Carson continues to supervise while Robert comes down with the dog.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Morning. I don't suppose there's any news of Bates? Mr Carson: We expect him back any day, my lord. He wrote to Anna that they had the funeral last Monday. Robert, Earl of Grantham: William's a good chap, but he's not Bates when it comes to uniforms. I may not be a real soldier, but I think I ought to look like one. Mr Carson: Quite, my lord. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Robert joins Lady Grantham and Sybil for breakfast.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: We don't often see you in here for breakfast. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Isobel said she was coming up to help and your mother threatened to look in. No doubt they would love it if they found me still in bed. [Sybil and Robert open their post.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I don't believe it. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Please say it's something nice. Robert, Earl of Grantham: General Robertson's invited me to be Colonel of the North Riding Volunteers. Well, this is the best bit. It may please you to know that the idea was given to me by General Hague. Well, if Hague's involved, it means I'm back in the army properly. Cora, Countess of Grantham: How can that be? You were told you weren't wanted for active service. You can't jump in the army like a jack-in-the-box. [Sybil is obviously very upset by her post.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I don't see why not. Churchill went back to the front after the Gilly business. If he can do it, why shouldn't I? Sybil, are you all right? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Sybil, darling. Lady Sybil: Will you excuse me? I think I'll just... [Sybil takes her post and leaves. Mr Carson opens the door for her.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: She's had more bad news. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STREET - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Branson is teaching Lady Edith how to drive.] Lady Edith: I do think I'm getting better, don't you? Branson: Up to a point, my lady. If you could just get the clutch right down to the floor. Lady Edith: But I am. Branson: Not quite, my lady. Lady Edith: It doesn't seem to want to go. Branson: I think it wants to if you ask it properly. That's better. You'll be putting me out of a job. Lady Edith: Won't the call up put you all out of your jobs? Branson: I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - MORNING] William: What are you giving them to eat? Mrs Patmore: Not much. They know the money's for the hospital, so they can't expect Belshazzar's feast. Daisy: I'll make some cheese straws. What's the matter with you? William: Nothing much. My dad still won't let me enlist. Mrs Patmore: Your father has no one but you, of course he doesn't want you to enlist. Who can argue with him? William: So I stand by while the lads on the farms and in the gardens go to war? Even Thomas is on the front in the medical corps. Mrs Patmore: Ha! That'll come as a nasty shock. William: Oh, you can make fun of him, Mrs Patmore, but he's fighting for his king and country and I'm not. Mrs Patmore: Well, I daresay you won't have long to wait. William: Well, I hope you're right. Mrs Patmore: Do you? Because I don't. I hope very much that I am wrong. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LARGE PARLOUR - MORNING] Isobel Crawley: It's kind of you to let us have it here. They'll enjoy it so much more. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: And you can charge so much more for the tickets. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Good morning, Mama. This is very early for you to be up and about. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: War makes early risers of us all. I thought I would help with the flowers. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Basset has plenty, but...thank you. [Cora exits.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: You don't mind my taking over the flowers, do you? Cora's flower always look more suited to a first communion in southern Italy. Well, what else have you planned for tonight's raffles? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Anything we can think of that will raise money. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Hot buttered toast with a countess, a tuppence a slice? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LIBRARY - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Ethel fluffs a pillow by tossing it in the air.] Anna: You drop the cushions on the floor to plump them up. Ethel: I know. Mrs Hughes: Ethel, are you settling in? [Ethel drops a pillow on the floor.] Ethel: I would be if Anna would stop teaching me how to suck eggs. I was Head Housemaid in my last position. Mrs Hughes: You were Senior Housemaid out of two in a much smaller house. Anna: Are they to be coming here tonight? Mrs Hughes: Only at the interval, and keep them out of the drawing room. I thought Mr Bates would've been back by now, or he could've stood guard. [Mrs Hughes and Anna smile.] Ethel: Who is this Mr Bates? Anna: He's Lordship's Valet. He's been in London because his mother died. Ethel: Well, everyone talks about him as if he were king. Anna: Do they? That's nice to hear. [Violet enters.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Anna. [Anna curtsies.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Help me do battle with this...monstrosity. [Violet stares at the hideous flower arrangement on the table.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Looks like a creature from the Lost World. [Violet starts pulling out flowers.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Carson is polishing the silver set.] Mrs Hughes: You should let William do that. Mr Carson: He's got enough on his hands getting the uniforms out of mothballs. Agh, I must remember to put Anna on alert for dinner tonight. Mrs Hughes: You have to ease up a bit or you'll give yourself a heart attack. There's a war on. Things cannot be the same when there's a war on. Mr Carson: I do not agree. Keeping up standards is the only way to show the Germans that they will not beat us in the end. Mrs Hughes: Well, give me some warning the next time we're expecting Germans at Downton, I'll see what I can do. [INT. LIBRARY - MORNING] [Anna collects the flowers Violet removed and takes them away as Cora, Isobel, and Robert enter.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Thank you. Isobel Crawley: Well, we thought we'd come in here for a little talk. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh. Well, I'm sure we won't be disturbed. [Robert rolls his eyes, then motions Isobel to the couch.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Please. [Isobel sits.] Isobel Crawley: Well, the thing is...I've had a letter from Matthew. Of course he doesn't tell me what he's actually doing. Robert, Earl of Grantham: No, he wouldn't. But I'm glad he's all right. I miss him. Isobel Crawley: Well, that's the point. You must know he's been down here a few times since the war started. Cora, Countess of Grantham: We had heard. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Downton is hardly a metropolis. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Is he still determined to go back to Manchester when it's all over? Isobel Crawley: He doesn't talk much about life after the war, none of them do. I suppose they don't want to tempt fate. Until now, that is. He writes that he's engaged to be married to a Miss Lavinia Swire. [They are rather upset by this news. Cora sits down.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, I-- I suppose we all knew it would happen one day. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Do you know her? Isobel Crawley: Not yet. Apparently they met when he was in England last time. It all seems rather hurried. Robert, Earl of Grantham: You can't blame them for wanting to live in the present. [Robert turns around, trying to process this latest blow.] Isobel Crawley: Anyway, he's been in London on leave, and now he's bringing her here to meet me. He'll be here tonight and tomorrow, then he leaves on Thursday while she stays for a bit. Cora, Countess of Grantham: So, will you miss the concert? Isobel Crawley: Well, that's up to you. We'd all hoped that he and Mary would sort things out between them, but if that's not to be, then shouldn't we try to get back to normal? Even if he's not keen to live in the village. He's still the heir. And you're still his family. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I quite agree. We can't know if Matthew will come through it. Either way, I would like to see him, and I want to wish him luck. [Isobel smiles.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: The trouble is Mary's back from London today as well. She gets in at five o'clock. Isobel Crawley: Matthew's driving in Lavinia's car. They won't meet on the train. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, that's a relief. I hate Greek drama. You know, when everything happens off stage. [Isobel narrows her eyes at Violet.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: But shall we tell her not to come? We might still catch her. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Isobel's right. We must use this engagement as a new beginning. You bring our Lieutenant Crawley to the concert and stay for dinner afterwards. Isobel Crawley: I was hoping you'd say that. [Isobel smiles.] [SCENE_BREAK] [PATH - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Sybil enters the house, crying with the note in her hand.] Isobel Crawley: Oh, there you are, I'm just going home, but I'll be back at four-- [Sybil walks by without looking at her.] Isobel Crawley: Sybil, my dear, what's the matter? Lady Sybil: Tom Belasis has been killed. Isobel Crawley: What a terrible thing. Lady Sybil: I remember him at Imogen's ball. He made me laugh out loud just as her uncle was giving a speech. Sometimes it feels as if all the men I ever danced with are dead. [Isobel gives Sybil a comforting kiss.] Lady Sybil: I just feel so useless. Wasting my life while they sacrifice theirs. Isobel Crawley: You've been a tremendous help with the concert. Lady Sybil: No, I d-- I don't mean selling programs or finding prizes for the Tombola, I want to do a real job. Real work. [O'Brien is listening in.] Isobel Crawley: Well, if you are serious, what about an auxiliary nurse? There's a training college in York. I know I could get you onto a course. It may be something of a rough awakening. Are you ready for that? I mean, have you ever made your own bed, for example, or scrubbed a floor. [Isobel sees O'Brien eaves dropping.] Isobel Crawley: O'Brien, what is it? O'Brien: Mr Platte is taking Her Ladyship and Lady Grantham down to the village, she wondered if you'd like to go with them. Isobel Crawley: That's very kind. Thank you. [O'Brien leaves.] Lady Sybil: Go on. What else would I need? Isobel Crawley: Well, if you're serious, what about cooking? Why don't you ask Mrs Patmore if she could give you one or two basic tips. [Sybil nods and starts to smile.] Isobel Crawley: When you get to York, it might be useful to know a little more than nothing. [Isobel smiles and strokes Sybil's chin affectionately. Sybil smiles back.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S BEDROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [O'Brien helps Lady Grantham dress to go out.] O'Brien: They want to use her as a maid of all work at the hospital. I suppose it's cheaper when Lady Sybil can live here for nothing, but it doesn't seem quite right somehow to take advantage. Cora, Countess of Grantham: No, it does not. O'Brien: I hear the young men that are being brought in now are very disfigured. Cora, Countess of Grantham: How terrible. O'Brien: Limbs missing and faces blown apart. And Lady Sybil's been nurtured so very gently. And what types would she be working with? [Cora looks more and more concerned.] O'Brien: Still, you'll know what's best to do. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Yes. I certainly will. [Lady Grantham exits with her gloves and hat.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Daisy shells peas, Anna polishes, William mends a shirt, Branson reads the newspaper, and O'Brien sits down to sew.] Mrs Patmore: Where's the butter for the pancakes? Daisy: It's in the cold larder. Ethel: Are we having pancakes tonight? O'Brien: No we [?] is like. Mrs Patmore: Upstairs dinner Crepe Suzette. ETHEL (gasp) I've always wanted to try those. Could you save me some? If they don't finish them all. Mrs Patmore: Er, save you some Crepe Suzette? [Branson regards Mrs Patmore. Anna smiles at the strange request.] Ethel: If you don't mind. [Ethel files her nails.] Ethel: What are we having? Mrs Patmore: Lamb stew and semolina. Ethel: Do you eat a lot of stews? Mrs Patmore: Don't you fancy that, dear? Ethel: Not all the time. Mrs Patmore: Oh, I see. And would you like to sleep in Her Ladyship's bedroom while you're at it? [Ethel looks up.] Ethel: Wouldn't mind. I hate sharing a room. I didn't in my last place. Anna: There were only two maids and a cook. Ethel: Well, I'm just saying. Mrs Patmore: And I'll just say, if you don't look out. [Ethel smiles in amusement as Mrs Patmore leaves.] O'Brien: You've got a cheek on your first day. Ethel: I don't see why. I want the best and I'm not ashamed to admit it. O'Brien: And you think we don't? Ethel: I think it's hard to change at your age. I don't blame you. But I suppose, in the end, I want to be more than just a servant. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CARRIAGE - DAY] Cora, Countess of Grantham: I'm sorry, but if Dr Clarkson needs free labour, I'd prefer him not to find it in my nursery. Isobel Crawley: But Sybil isn't in the nursery. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: No, and in case you haven't noticed, she hasn't been there for some time. Cora, Countess of Grantham: You know what I mean. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, no, not really. You can't pretend it's not respectable when every day we're treated to pictures of queens and princesses in Red Cross uniform, ladling soup down the throat of some unfortunate. Cora, Countess of Grantham: But Sybil won't be ladling soup. She'll have to witness unimaginable horrors, and she's an innocent. Isobel Crawley: Her innocence will protect her. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: For once I agree with Cousin Isobel. Sybil must be allowed to do her bit like everyone else. [Mr Molesley opens the carriage for Isobel and hands her out in front of her house.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: What about you, Molesley? Are you ready for the call if it comes? Mr Molesley: It won't be coming for me, milady. I had a letter from the war office. They say I'm not suitable for service. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Why not? [Molesley looks uncomfortable.] Mr Molesley: I really couldn't say, milady. Isobel Crawley: As you can imagine, Molesley's father is beside himself with joy. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: God moves in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform. [Violet nods to Molesley and closes the carriage.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON TRAIN STATION - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Bates steps out of 3rd class. A station employee opens a 1st class door for Lady Mary and she runs into Bates.] Lady Mary: Bates! [Bates touches his hat to her.] Lady Mary: No one told me you were on this train. Mr Bates: They didn't know, milady. Lady Mary: We'll give you a lift to the house. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTOWN, FRONT DOOR - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Branson pulls the car up to the front door. Bates steps out of the front seat and walks to Anna. William collects the luggage.] Anna: Why didn't you say you were coming? Mr Bates: I didn't know till today. [Branson hands Mary out of the car.] Lady Mary: Anna, I borrowed a case from Lady Rosamund. I bought some things while I was in London. Anna: Very good, milady. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] Lady Sybil: Well, it would be our secret. A surprise. You don't mind, do you? Mrs Patmore (flustered): Oh, it's not that I mind, milady. Lady Sybil: And I only need the basics. How to boil an egg. How to make tea. Mrs Patmore: Don't you know how to make tea? Lady Sybil: Not really. [The servant girls giggle.] Lady Sybil: You're right. It is a joke. But when I start my course, I don't want to be a joke. Will you help me? Daisy: Of course we will, won't we? Mrs Patmore: If you say so. Let's get started. Mrs Patmore: Do you know how to fill a kettle? Lady Sybil: Everyone knows that. [Sybil takes the kettle from Mrs Patmore and goes to the tap. She opens the valve and water sprays all over. The servants laugh.] Mrs Patmore: Not everyone, apparently. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LARGE PARLOUR - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [The band begins to practice while Mr Carson straightens the chairs.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Anna puts a box on the table and nearly runs into Bates on her way out.] Mr Bates: When can I talk to you? Anna: After the concert. Outside in the courtyard. There's bound to be a gap before they start dinner. [Daisy clears the kitchen table.] Daisy: Are you going up for the concert? William: Maybe. Can I sit with you? Daisy: Don't be daft. We've got dinner to make. I've not got time for concerts. William: I've had a letter from my dad. He won't change his mind. He says he can live with it if I get called up, as there's nothing we can do, but if I enlist and anything happens, he'll never get over it. Daisy: He loves you. William: He may love me, but he doesn't own me. He's not being fair. [William exits frustrated.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY MARY'S BEDROOM] [SCENE_BREAK] [Anna finishes Mary's hair while Sybil sits on the bed; Cora and Edith sit in chairs.] Lady Sybil: Glad to be back? Lady Mary: I'm never sure. When I'm in London, I long for Yorkshire, and when I'm here, I ache to hear my heels clicking on the pavement. I'd forgotten about this nightmare concert. Why didn't you warn me? I'd have come back tomorrow. Lady Edith (gloats): But you'd have missed Matthew. [Mary pauses in surprise.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: I was going to tell you. Matthew's on leave and he's in the village, so Papa and I thought it would be a good time to mend our fences. He's coming tonight with Isobel. Lady Edith (still gloating): And his fiancé. Lady Mary: What? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Edith. I don't know how helpful you're being. Lady Sybil: Matthew's engaged. He's brought her to Downton to meet his mother. [Mary listens in continued surprise.] Lady Mary: Well, how marvellous. Lady Sybil: You don't mind? Lady Mary: Why should I? We're not going to marry, but I don't want him to spend the rest of his life in a cave. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Exactly what Papa and I feel. Please try to be happy for him. Lady Mary: Of course I'm happy! Good luck to him. [Edith smirks at Mary's brave face.] Lady Mary: Anyway, there's someone I want you all to meet. Have you ever come across Richard Carlisle? Lady Edith: Sir Richard Carlisle? The one with all those horrid newspapers? Lady Mary: We met at Clifton. Lady Edith: (scoffs) But how old is he? Lady Mary: Old enough not to ask stupid questions. Anyway, I can't wait for you to know him. If only Papa hadn't closed down the shoot. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Most people have stopped shooting now that the war's on. But I'm sure Papa will be happy to have Sir Richard come and stay. [Cora and Sybil rise to leave.] Lady Edith: Are you? I shouldn't have thought he was Papa's type at all. Cora, Countess of Grantham: You coming? Lady Mary: I'll be down in a minute. [The family leaves and Anna turns to Mary.] Anna: Are you all right, milady? Lady Mary: Oh, Anna. [Mary breaks down crying. Anna puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON, THE CONCERT - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Isobel, Matthew, and Lavinia arrive.] Lavinia: It's awfully grand. Matthew Crawley: You'd better get used to it. It will be your home one day. Lavinia: I'm not sure "home" would ever be quite the word to describe it. [Robert approaches and shakes hands with Matthew.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: My dear fellow, welcome back. It's so very good to see you. Matthew Crawley: May I present Miss Lavinia Swire. Lavinia: How do you do, Lord Grantham. Robert, Earl of Grantham: How do you do, Miss Swire. [Sybil and Edith check out the fiancé and exchange a look.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: So, that's Mary's replacement. Well, I suppose looks aren't everything. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I think she seems rather sweet. I'm afraid meeting us all together must be very intimidating. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I do hope so. [Mary and Matthew catch each other's eye. Mary smiles awkwardly. Matthew looks away like he didn't see her. Mary's smile fades until she sees Isobel and they greet each other.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Now, please come this way. Lavinia: Thank you. [Mary and Isobel shake hands.] Lady Mary: It's good to see you. Hello, Miss Swire. I'm Mary Crawley. [They shake hands.] Lavinia: Of course you are. I mean, I've been longing to meet you, because I've heard so much about you from Matthew. Er, that is-- Lady Mary: Nice things, I hope. Matthew Crawley: What else would she hear from me? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Please. [Robert shows Lavinia to her seat.] Lady Mary: I can't say. It's been such a long time. Who knows what you think of me now. Matthew Crawley: I think...I'm very glad to see you looking so well. Lady Mary: All right, you win. We are at peace again. [She squeezes his arm. The band starts. Sitting down, Lavinia and Mary regard each other.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Carson is filtering wine as Mrs Hughes walks in.] Mrs Hughes: Have you found something nice? Mr Carson: Why in particular? Mrs Hughes: As a welcome home for Mr Matthew. Mr Carson: Hmph. Mrs Hughes: Oh, what's the matter? I thought you'd come 'round to him. Mr Carson: Last time he was here, he hadn't broken Lady Mary's heart. [Mrs Hughes gives him a look.] Mrs Hughes: Lady Mary broke her own heart. Hmph. That's if she has a heart to break. Mr Carson: I don't think we're ever going to see eye to eye on this, Mrs Hughes. Mrs Hughes: She refused him when she thought he'd have nothing, and when he was heir again, she wanted him back. Mr Carson: I thought caution was a virtue. Mrs Hughes: Caution, maybe, self-interest is not. Perhaps Miss Swire is a gentler person. Mr Carson: If you ask me, this Miss Swire who, it may interest you to know, is not to be found in Burke's Peerage or Burke's Landed Gentry has an eye to the main chance. Mrs Hughes: That's not snobbish, I suppose. Mr Carson: I like to see things done properly, Mrs Hughes, and I won't apologise for that. Now, if you'll excuse me. [Mr Carson walks out with the wine.] [SCENE_BREAK] [CONCERT HALL - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Two women stand up on and start handing out white feathers. One hands a feather to William.] William: What is it? White Feather Girl 1: A white feather, of course, Coward. [Robert turns around and stands up.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Stop this at once! [William stands.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: This is neither the time nor the place! White Feather Girl 2: These people should be aware that there are cowards among them. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Will you please leave? You are the cowards here, not they! [Mr Bates stands, also angry, and the women leave. Robert nods to William. William nods back and sits down.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Leader, will you continue? [William fingers the white feather the woman gave him. The exiting women hand Branson a feather on their way out. He smiles and takes it.] Branson: I'm in a uniform. White Feather Girl 1: Wrong kind. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [William serves Cora at dinner.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: That was horrid, William. I hope you won't let it upset you. William: No, Your Ladyship. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Why are these women so unkind? Lady Edith: Of course it is horrid, but when heroes are giving their lives every day, it's hard to watch healthy young men do nothing. [Robert looks quickly at William, who looks down uncomfortably. Isobel talks down the table to Sybil.] Isobel Crawley: By the way, Sybil, very good news. They do have a vacancy. It's very short notice, because someone dropped out. [Sybil smiles.] Isobel Crawley: You'd have to be ready to start on Friday. Robert, Earl of Grantham: May I ask what this is about? Lady Sybil: Cousin Isobel has got me a place on a nursing course in York. [The table stares at her.] Lady Sybil: I want to work at the hospital. Cora, Countess of Grantham: We don't have to talk about it now. [Cora glares at Isobel, who smiles awkwardly.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COURTYARD - EVENING] Mr Bates: She just turned up at my mother's house not long before she died. Anna: So...what does it mean? Mr Bates: I think it means, at long last, I'm able to get a divorce. Anna: Mr Bates, is this a proposal? Mr Bates: If that's what you want to call it. And you might start calling me John. Anna: Why are you sure she'll do it now when she's refused for so long? Mr Bates: Mother left me some money. Much more than I thought. Vera's a greedy woman, she won't refuse what I can offer her. Anna: Will we have to leave Downton? Mr Bates: Not until we want to. I've spoken to His Lordship and he will find a cottage for us near the house. Anna: You told him you want to marry me? Mr Bates: I did. Anna: Before you spoke to me? Mr Bates: You don't mind, do you? Anna: Of course I mind. In fact, I'd give you a smack if I didn't want to kiss you so much I could burst. [Bates cups Anna's face with his hand and they kiss. She stands on her tip-toes as they hold each other.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING] Lady Edith: Branson says I'm ready for the road. Robert, Earl of Grantham: That's not what he told me. [Mr Carson serves Lavinia.] Lavinia: Oh, how delicious, I love these. Robert, Earl of Grantham: How did you and Matthew meet? Lavinia: Oh, in London. My father works in London, so I've always lived there. But I love the country, too. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Of course you do. Lavinia: Daddy's a solicitor, like Matthew. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: My, my. You're very well-placed if you're ever in trouble with the law. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Did I tell you I've been given a colonelcy in the North Riding Volunteers? So, I'm properly in the army again. Matthew Crawley: Mm. Congratulations. [Matthew turns to Mary on his right.] Matthew Crawley: He won't go with them, will he? When they're called to the front? Lady Mary: I hope not, but he seems to think so. What's it been like? [Matthew turns sharply toward her, then hesitates, slightly panicked and unsure.] Matthew Crawley: You know, the thing is, I just can't talk about it. [Mary nods.] Lady Mary: Have you missed us? Matthew Crawley: What do you think? [They smile at each other. Matthew looks at Lavinia at the other side of the table.] Matthew Crawley: You don't mind my brining Lavinia? Lady Mary: On the contrary, I'm glad. Glad to see you happy. Matthew Crawley: What about you? You happy? Lady Mary: I think I'm about to be happy. Does that count? Matthew Crawley: It does if you mean it. Lady Mary: You'll be the first to know. [They smile at each other, but Mary is obviously pretending.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Servants are setting the table for their meal.] Daisy: What you reading? Ethel: Photoplay about Mable Norman. She was nothing when she started, you know. Her father was a carpenter and they'd no money, and now she's a shining film star. O'Brien: Ethel, I've a message for you from Her Ladyship. You're to go up and see her now. Ethel: What? Where? O'Brien: In the drawing room, of course. They're all in the drawing room. Ethel: What've I done wrong? O'Brien: Nothing. Quite the reverse. She's very pleased with the way you've begun, and she wants to thank you. Ethel: Now? O'Brien: Yes, now. She's asked for you. How much longer are you gonna keep her waiting? [Ethel quickly puts away her magazine. The servants hold in their giggles in the corner. Ethel leaves in a hurry and the servants burst out laughing.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DRAWING ROOM - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [The party sits down in the drawing room.] Lavinia: I don't know much about life in the country, but I do understand how the law works, so I believe I can be helpful to Matthew there. Lady Edith: But you'll be immensely helpful. Don't you think so, Mary? Lady Mary: Of course. [The door opens and Ethel rushes in. Everyone looks up and William pauses in the middle of serving Lady Grantham.] Ethel: Beg pardon, milady, for keeping you waiting. Cora, Countess of Grantham: What? Ethel: I'm ever so grateful for your appreciation, and I want you to know that it's a privilege to work here. [William's still frozen as everyone stares at Ethel. Mr Carson looks mortified.] Mr Carson: Ethel. What are you doing in here? Ethel: H-- Her Ladyship sent for me. Mr Carson: And who gave you this message? Ethel: Miss O'Brien. [Mr Carson raises his eyes to the ceiling.] Ethel: She said I wasn't to keep Her Ladyship waiting. [Cora sighs.] Mr Carson: You may go back downstairs now, thank you, Ethel. [The other ladies smile] Ethel: Right. Thank you, milady. [Ethel curtsies excitedly and exits. Cora smiles and shakes her head.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham (laughing): Well, do we think she's mad, ill, or working for the Russians? [Sybil laughs, then stops herself.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OUTER HALL - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Carson waits with Lavinia outside as Mary escorts Matthew out.] Matthew Crawley: She has plenty of time to learn. Cousin Robert will be in charge here for many years. Lavinia will be a lawyers wife far longer than she'll be a countess. That's if I get through the war in one piece. Lady Mary: Of course you will. Don't even think like that. How long are you staying in the village? Matthew Crawley: Just tomorrow. I take the six o'clock train on Thursday. Lady Mary: And then you'll be in France. Matthew Crawley: Wherever I'm going, I'm so pleased that we're friends again. [Mary smiles. Matthew puts on his hat and exits.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [The servants sit down to dinner.] Ethel: I still don't understand why it was funny to make me look a fool. You weren't even there to enjoy it. O'Brien: Oh, don't worry, we enjoyed it all right from down here. Mr Carson: Miss O'Brien, Her Ladyship has asked me to take the incident no further. Don't tempt me to disobey. Did I see Lady Sybil in the kitchen yesterday? Mrs Patmore: She wants to learn some cooking. Daisy: She says that she's gonna train to be a nurse, so she needs to know how to cook and clean and everything. Mr Carson: Has she told Her Ladyship about this? Daisy: It's supposed to be a surprise. Mrs Hughes: Mr Carson, it speaks well of Lady Sybil that she wants to help the wounded. Let's not give her away. Ethel: Why shouldn't she learn how to cook and scrub. She may need it when the war's over. Things are changing. For her lot and us. And when they do, I mean to make the most of it. [Mrs Patmore laughs.] Ethel: I take it they ate all the pancakes last night then? Mrs Patmore: They did. [Mrs Patmore enters the next room and whistles for the dog.] Mrs Patmore: Here y'are. [She gives the leftover Crepe Suzette to the dog.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - DAY] Isobel Crawley: What are we aiming at? Dr Clarkson: They'd like us to take a hundred wounded men, three times the number the hospital was built for. Isobel Crawley: Well, that settles it. We'll have to convert the second day room. Dr Clarkson: So there's to be no convalescence at all? Isobel Crawley: I'm afraid not. Once they can stand, they must go. Dr Clarkson: (sigh) If only there were somewhere nearer than Farley Hall. I can't get there more than twice a week at the most. [Clarkson notices Molesley taking out the tea tray.] Dr Clarkson: Uh, should he be doing that? Isobel Crawley: Why not? Dr Clarkson: I only meant with his condition. Isobel Crawley: What condition is that? Dr Clarkson: His lungs. Old Lady Grantham told me he's had a lot of trouble with his lungs. Isobel Crawley: And why did she tell you that, particularly? Dr Clarkson: She wanted me to write to the war office. She was anxious to spare him the humiliation of being refused on medical grounds. Isobel Crawley: And who else did she wish you to take under your protection? Dr Clarkson: William Mason, the footman at the big house. He has a-- a bad skin condition, apparently, and hates people to know. [Isobel gives Clarkson a stern, knowing look.] Dr Clarkson: She wanted to spare him the physical examination. Isobel Crawley: I'm sure she did. [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] [Sybil stirs something on the stove. Mrs Patmore check over her shoulder.] Mrs Patmore: What in Wonderland do you call that? [Mrs Patmore sees Sybil's horrified expression.] Mrs Patmore: I mean, I do not fully understand what you're trying to do, milady. [Sybil shakes her head.] Lady Sybil: Oh, I knew it wasn't supposed to look like this. Mrs Patmore: No, milady, I would go so far as to say there is no food on the earth that is supposed to look like that. [Daisy comes over to check on Sybil.] Lady Sybil: Why does everything go so lumpy? Daisy: Tell you what, chuck it out and we'll start again. [Sybil nods and takes the pot off the stove.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Anna and Bates sit alone at the table.] Anna: I don't think we should sell your mother's house. Not yet. Mr Bates: We could rent it out. Then we can save. When I have some time off, I'll go up to London and get it ready. Anna: Maybe I can come with you. We could do it together. [Bates smiles.] Mr Bates: I've got an idea that a bit later on, if we want to... Anna: If we want to start a family. [Bates beams.] Mr Bates: I thought, when the time is right, we might sell. And we could buy a small hotel just-- just a little one, maybe near here and we could work together and have the children with us. [Anna tries not to cry through her smiles.] Mr Bates: What is it? Anna: Nothing. It's just...in my whole life, I never thought I could be as happy as I am at this moment. [Ethel comes in an drops something on the table with a sour expression and sits down, either oblivious or unfeeling, destroying the moment.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew steps past the gate and sees a young maid and milkman flirting. He takes a breath and then heads off to the train station.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TRAIN STATION - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew looks for his train car, but does a double take when he sees Mary waiting. She turns around, sees him, and they walk to each other.] Lady Mary: Don't worry, I haven't come to undo your good work of the other night. Matthew Crawley: You must have been up before the servants. Lady Mary: They were rather surprised to see me. [Mary opens her purse.] Lady Mary: I wanted to give you this. [She hands him a little stuffed dog.] Lady Mary: It's my lucky charm. I've had it always. So, you must promise to bring it back without a scratch. Matthew Crawley: Won't you need it? Lady Mary: Not as much as you. So, look after it. Please. Matthew Crawley: I'll try not to be a hero, if that's what you're afraid of. [He puts it in his pocket.] Lady Mary: Just come back safe and sound. Did you have a happy time yesterday? Matthew Crawley: Showed Lavinia the places I like the most. Gave her a few memories. Mary, if I don't come back-- Lady Mary: But-- Matthew Crawley: No. If I don't, then do remember how very glad I am that we made up when we had the chance. I mean it. You send me off to war a happy man. [Mary smiles. Matthew steps toward the train, then pauses.] Matthew Crawley: Will you do something for me? Will you...will you look after mother...if anything happens? Lady Mary: Of course we will. But it won't. Matthew Crawley: And Lavinia. She's young, she will find someone else. I hope she does, anyway, but...until she does. [The conductor blows a whistle.] Lady Mary: Goodbye then. [She kissed Matthew on the cheek.] Lady Mary: And such good luck. Matthew Crawley: Goodbye, Mary. And God bless you. [Matthew gets in the train and Mary watches it take him out of sight. Out of sight, both of them are very emotional.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] Vera Bates: Lady Mary was very much part of the story, I can assure you. Ethel: How do you know? Vera Bates: Well, you see, I worked for Lady Flin-- [Anna walks into the kitchen.] Anna: Ethel! I hope you've offered our visitor some tea. Ethel: I'll go and ask Daisy. [Anna smiles politely at Vera for a moment then follows Ethel out.] Anna: What is the first law of service? We do not discuss the business of this house with strangers. Ethel: But she's not a stranger, she's Mr Bates's wife. Has anyone told him she's here? [Ethel leaves and Anna tries to process her shock. Anna walks back into the kitchen.] Vera Bates: So you're Anna. Anna: I am. [Vera nods, looking her over.] Vera Bates: You're the one who went to call on my late lamented mother-in-law. Anna: Yes, I did. [Mr Bates enters slowly. Ethel enters to watch.] Vera Bates: I know you did. Mr Bates: Sorry to keep you waiting, Vera. I was up in the attics sorting out some cupboards. Vera Bates: Don't worry. I've been having a nice time here with Ethel and Miss Smith. [Mrs Hughes enters.] Mrs Hughes: Mr Bates. Ethel told me about your visitor, so I've had the tea put in my sitting room. I thought you might take Mrs Bates in there. Mr Bates: That's very thoughtful. Vera Bates: It is. But then, you're all so kind. I'm beginning to understand why my Batesy's got so spoiled. [Mr Bates and Anna glare at Vera.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DRAWING ROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Cora's embroidering when Mr Carson enters.] Mr Carson: I'm sorry to trouble you, my lady. Cora, Countess of Grantham: What is it, Carson? Mr Carson: Something has been going on, and I don't feel quite easy that you've not been made aware of it. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Goodness. What is this dark secret? Mr Carson: Lady Sybil has spent the last two in the kitchens. Cora, Countess of Grantham: What? Mr Carson: She asked Mrs Patmore for some cooking lessons. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] Mrs Patmore: Now, steady. Even the most experienced cook can burn themself if they're not careful. Lady Sybil: But do you think it's ready? Mrs Patmore: I know it's ready. Daisy: Go on, you don't want to spoil it. [Mr Carson and Cora watch through the window in the corridor.] Mr Carson: It seems she's made a cake for Your Ladyship as a surprise, but I am uneasy with surprises at the best of times and I wonder if the whole exercise is entirely appropriate. [Branson enters the kitchen just as Sybil is pulling the cake out of the oven with a huge smile on her face. He grins.] Lady Sybil: Ta-da. Mrs Patmore: Oooh. [Carson watches with disapproval. Cora watches with wonder. A smile lights up her face. Daisy and Mrs Patmore help Sybil finish the cake.] Mr Carson: I'm not comfortable with this, my lady. Not comfortable at all. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I was worried about Lady Sybil. But I'm not worried anymore. Mr Carson: So you don't mind, my lady? [Cora is close to tears in her joy. She shakes her head.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: No. I do not mind. And I'm very grateful to you. And Carson, the cake will be a surprise whether you approve or not, so please don't give me away. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MRS HUGHES'S SITTING ROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Vera Bates pours some tea while Bates stands resolutely.] Vera Bates: Sit down. Mr Bates: I don't want to sit down. Vera Bates: Suit yourself. Mr Bates: Look, I'm not saying it's all your fault for how things were between us, but I couldn't go back to that. I'll take the blame. I'll go to some hotel in Moulton with a tart. So why hold on? Vera Bates: Because I tried it on my own and I don't like it. You've got money now. We'd be comfortable. [Bates chuckles humourlessly.] Mr Bates: You're out of your mind. What makes you think that I would allow that to happen? Vera Bates: You went to prison for me once. [Vera takes a sip of the tea.] Vera Bates: I must say, this is very good. Does Lord Grantham have his own blend? Mr Bates: Is that all? Vera Bates: Not quite. You see, if you don't come back to me, I'm going to the newspapers with a cracking story, and I'd like to bet the Granthams won't survive it. Mr Bates: Oh? And what nonsense is this? Vera Bates: The nonsense I heard when I used your name to get a job with Lady Flincher. His Lordship's cousin. Mr Bates: I know who Lady Flincher is. Vera Bates: When I arrived, her maid asked me if it was true about Lady Mary Crawley and the Turkish diplomat. They thought I'd know, you see, being your wife. Mr Bates: I hope you told them you knew nothing about it. [Vera laughs.] Vera Bates: As if. I said, why don't you tell me what you think you know, and I'll tell you if it's true. Goodness me, wasn't my patience rewarded. The public's bored with the war, you see. They like gossip. And a diplomat dying in the bed of an earl's unmarried daughter. Well! That takes the ticket for the tale of the year. Mr Bates: It's a pack of lies! Vera Bates: I assume that's loyalty and not ignorance. Because, you see, I heard that Lady Mary needed her maid to help her carry him. And, yes, you guessed it, your precious Anna's gonna figure in the story, too. Not to worry too much. It's not a criminal offense, is it? Just a social one. [Bates grabs Vera's wrists, shaking with rage.] Mr Bates: You bitch. Vera Bates: Please. Be my guest. Well then you must excuse me when I run into town and have it photographed. [Mr Bates lets her go, then sinks in the chair across the tea table.] Mr Bates: What do you want from me? Vera Bates: Firstly, you'll hand in your notice. Tonight. I'll put up at the pub in the village. Mr Bates: What reason do I give? Vera Bates: You don't need a reason. Just tell them that you're going. And then tomorrow we head back to London. Stay in your mother's house for the time being till we get ourselves sorted. And in case you're wondering, whatever my future plans may be, they will involve you. [Mrs Hughes shuts the grate in the corridor outside her sitting room where she's been eavesdropping, then shifts a box to conceal it and leaves.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LORD GRANTHAM'S DRESSING ROOM - EVENING] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Bates, when you first came here, I fought to keep you! Everyone was against me! Everyone! From Her Ladyship to Carson! They thought I was mad! But I said to them, "After all that we've been through together, Bates and I, I owe him my loyalty!" Mr Bates: I appreciate that, my lord, but-- Robert, Earl of Grantham: But what?! But loyalty doesn't matter to you?! Mr Bates: It does matter, my lord. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Not enough to make you change your mind! Not even enough to make you stay until I've found a replacement! Mr Bates: I can't. Robert, Earl of Grantham: You won't take any more money off me! You leave empty handed! Mr Bates: I don't want money, my lord. [Robert pauses a moment, considering.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I'm sorry, Bates, that was a low shot. Of course, you can have whatever is owing to you. I thought we were friends, that's all. I thought we'd crossed a great divide successfully. Well, well. I've had my say. It's your life. But you've disappointed me, Bates. [Bates stands stiffly, close to tears from Robert's stinging words.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I cannot remember being more disappointed in any man. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COURTYARD - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Anna follows Bates out into the courtyard and puts a hand on his arm to stop him.] Anna: I don't believe it! You say my life is over and your wife will collect you first thing, and that's it? Have you mentioned this to anyone else? Mr Bates: Only Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes. The others can find out when I've gone. Anna: I know you've not told me the real reason. Mr Bates: You're wrong. Vera has reminded me that I'm a married man, that I must give my vows another chance. I had no right to involve you in my life. Anna: Yes, you see, but that's just what I don't agree with. You had every right. I know you. You're doing something gallant here, making a sacrifice for my honour, but I don't want you to. I don't care! Don't you understand? I don't care what people say. I'd live in sin with you. If she's threatening to ruin me, then let her. It's nothing to me. The only ruin that I recognize is to be without you. Mr Bates: Forget me and be happy, please. Anna: I couldn't. Not ever. Mr Bates: You should. And you must. I am nothing. [Anna sobs as Bates leaves.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [William sits in the dark kitchen. Daisy enters.] Daisy: William? [Daisy turns on the light.] Daisy: I thought everyone had gone up. I'm just looking for that magazine I Ethel were reading. I hope you noticed I'm not scared of electricity anymore. [She sits down at the table next to William.] Daisy: Well, not much. I couldn't touch a switch when it were only upstairs, but I've got used to it now. [William continues to stare at the table.] Daisy: I hate to see you like this. [He looks at her.] William: Even though I'm a dirty coward? Daisy: You're not. Not to me. William: Well, why don't I enlist? I could. I know I promised my dad, but he's not my owner. He's not the law. Am I frightened? Is that it. Honestly. Daisy: Don't be so hard on yourself. No one wants to go to war. Agh, I wish you'd cheer up. Please. I'd do anything to cheer you up. William: Like what? [Daisy checks the corridor, then smiles mischievously.] Daisy: Like this. [She kisses him. He sits up straight, surprised, then checks the corridor to see if anyone saw. He looks back at Daisy, and then sinks back into his dull mood.] William: You just feel sorry for me. Daisy: William, I've kissed you. You've wanted me to long enough. Well, now I have. Enjoy it. William: Does this mean you'll be my girl? Daisy, 'cause if you were my girl, I know I could tackle anything. [Daisy stares at William.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BATTLEFRONT TRENCHES - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Bombs explode nearby. Matthew and his manservant are in the bunker.] Matthew Crawley: We were supposed to be at rest for ten days at least. Medical Officer: Orders arrived this morning, sir. [?] were hit bad, so they're out and we're in. [Matthew puts Mary's good luck charm on the table.] Medical Officer: And it's [?] in the trench since we got here. Matthew Crawley: Anybody hurt? Medical Officer: [Rankin?]'s dead and Kent. And Corporal Wright was hit. Thank God the stretch bearers were there. Matthew Crawley: Let me see what the damage is now. Medical Officer: Sir. [The soldier straightens in solute and exits. Matthew is about to follow, but goes back for Mary's lucky charm. Out in the trenches, Matthew ducks and covers as a bomb explodes, then continues.] Matthew Crawley: All right? Soldier: Morning, sir. [Matthew continues, then ducks and covers again. When he looks up, he sees Thomas Barrow, the former First Footman.] Matthew Crawley: Thomas? It is Thomas, isn't it? Thomas: Corporal Barrow now, Mr Crawley. Matthew Crawley: You'll never guess where I've just been. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Bates takes one last look at Downton Abbey before the open carriage takes off with him and his wife. Anna cries as she watches from the house.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY SYBIL'S BEDROOM - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [The ladies help Sybil pack.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Where's Anna? Mrs Hughes: She's not feeling very well today, Your Ladyship. I've taken over for the time being. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, that's so kind of you. Just make sure Lady Sybil packs things she can get in and out of without a maid. [Edith starts to pack an evening gown.] Lady Sybil: Oh, I don't need that. I'd never wear it. Lady Edith: But you must have something decent. Suppose you're invited to dinner. Lady Sybil: I know this is hard for you to grasp, but I'm not there to go out to dinner. I'm there to learn. Lady Mary: Take one, just in case. [Mary hands Sybil a gown.] Lady Edith: We'll miss you. Lady Sybil: Don't be silly. It's only two months. And I'll come home if I can. Lady Edith: Why don't I drive you? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: She's taking enough chance with her life as it is. Lady Edith: Oh, Granny. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: What is this driving mania? Lady Edith: It'll be useful. They won't let a healthy man drive us around for much longer. And if Sybil can be a nurse, why can't I be a chauffeur? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, I shall leave you. I have been summoned by Cousin Isobel for tea. Goodbye Sybil. [Violet holds out her arms for a hug, and Sybil embraces her with a smile.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: And good luck with it all. Lady Sybil: Thank you for being such a sport. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: It's a big step you're taking, dear. But war deals out strange tasks. Remember your Great Aunt Roberta. [Violet goes to leave.] Lady Mary: What about her? [Violet pauses at the door.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: She loaded the guns at Lucknow. [Mary and Sybil raise their eyebrows at each other.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: I'll come with you. I'll tell William to fetch the bags. [Cora pauses at the door on her way out.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: The first one to leave the nest. [Cora exits.] Lady Edith: Poor Mama. She always feels these things so dreadfully. Lady Mary: That's her American blood. Lady Sybil: I'm so glad we've settled everything with Cousin Matthew. Aren't you, Mary? Lady Mary: Oh, please stop treading on eggshells. I've other fish to fry. [Edith scoffs.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Sybil waves to her mother and sisters from the car. She begins to cry as they drive away.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - DAY] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I make no apology. It would be a terrible thing if poor old Mr Molesley's son were killed, wouldn't it Molesley? Isobel Crawley: I'm sure it would, but-- Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: And then I heard William's father would be left on his own if anything happened to the boy. And what would become of Carson if the last of his staff were to go? Isobel Crawley: That's not the point. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Do you want Molesley to die? [Molesley looks a bit shocked, and Dr Clarkson closes his eyes pinches the bridge of his nose as he listens to them bicker.] Isobel Crawley: Of course I don't. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well... Isobel Crawley: I don't want my own son to die either, but this is a war, and we must be in it together. High and low, rich and poor. There can be no special cases, because every man at the front is a special case to someone. Dr Clarkson: Mrs Crawley is right. I understand your motives, Lady Grantham, and I do not criticise them. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Thank you. Dr Clarkson: But I shall write to the ministry at once, correcting the misinformation. Good day. I'll see myself out. [Dr Clarkson rises to leave.] Isobel Crawley: Molesley, you understand why I said what I did? Mr Molesley: Indeed, I do, ma'am. Isobel Crawley: You won't be called up at once. Not while there are younger men to be taken. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: But they'll get you in the end, Molesley. And you can blame Mrs Crawley when they do. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mrs Hughes finds Mr Carson writing at his desk.] Mrs Hughes: I wish you'd stop working for one minute. At least put the light on or you'll strain your eyes. [Mr Carson sighs and turns on the table lamp.] Mr Carson: It's getting dark so early now. Has she gone? Mrs Hughes: She has. (sigh) So, we've lost Mr Bates and Lady Sybil in one day. Mr Carson: I can't believe it. I suppose I'll have to look after His Lordship now on top of everything else. Mrs Hughes: And I don't want any jokes about broomsticks and sweeping the floor. MR CARSON (chuckles) His Lordship's got his regimental dinner in Richmond tonight. That means he'll be in the full fig. Mrs Hughes: You'll manage. Mr Carson: You know, when Mr Bates first came to this house, I thought he could never do the work, but now I can't imagine the place without him. Did you see this coming, because I didn't. Mrs Hughes: I have a confession. I let them have their tea in my sitting room. Mr Carson: That was nice of you. Mrs Hughes: It was...quite nice, but I had my reasons. There's a grating on the wall, which means you can hear what's being said in the room. Mr Carson: Now, if I was a gentleman, I wouldn't want to know. Mrs Hughes: But you're not. Mr Carson: Fortunately. [Mr Carson gets up and closes the door.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. YORK, HOSPITAL - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Branson carries Sybil's bags as they walk into the hospital courtyard where the wounded men are exercising. Several are missing limbs. Branson puts her bags down in a stone corridor.] Lady Sybil: It'll be hard to let you go, my last link with home. [Branson takes off his hat.] Branson: Not as hard as it is for me. Lady Sybil: Branson... Branson: I know I shouldn't say it, but I can't keep it in any longer. Lady Sybil: I wish you would. Branson: I've told myself and told myself you're too far above me, but things are changing. When the war is over, the world won't be the same place as it was when it started. And I'll make something of myself, I promise. Lady Sybil: I know you will. Branson: Then bet on me. And if your family casts you off, it won't be forever. They'll come around. And until they do, I promise to devote every waking minute to your happiness. Lady Sybil: I'm terribly flattered. Branson: Don't say that. Lady Sybil: Why not? Branson: Because flattered is a word posh people use when they're getting ready to say "no." [Sybil smiles, trying to lighten the mood.] Lady Sybil: That sounds more like you. Branson: Please don't make fun of me. It's cost me all I've got to say these things. [Lady Sybil stares at the ground uncomfortably. Branson watches her, then nods.] Branson: Right. [He puts his hat back on.] Branson: I'll go. I'll hand in my notice, and I won't be there when you get back. [Sybil's head snaps up.] Lady Sybil: No, don't do that. Branson: I must. They won't let me stay when they've heard what I said. Lady Sybil: They won't hear. Not from me. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BATTLEFRONT TRENCHES- DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Thomas and anther stretcher bearer carry a man through the trenches.] Thomas: Bloody hell! There must be more to life than this! [A bomb hits nearby and they drop the stretcher as they're knocked off their feet.] Stretcher Bearer: You all right, Corporal? [Thomas pants heavily.] Thomas: I think so. Yeah, I'm all right. [The stretcher bearer takes out a cigarette case. Thomas checks the soldier they dropped. He's dead.] Thomas: [?] Stretcher Bearer: You won't believe it back home where I come from. I thought, "Medical Corps. Not much danger there." How wrong can one man be? Here. [The stretcher bearer offers his cigarette to Thomas.] Stretcher Bearer: I think it comes down to luck. If a bullet's got your name on it, there's nothing you can do. If not, you thank God you're alive-- [A bullet runs through the stretcher bearer's helmet. He drops right in front of Thomas, who panics.] Officer: Get these bodies away! Come on Corporal Barrow! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RICHMOND - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [The fine silver and candelabra adorn the dining room table.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I cannot tell you how pleased I am to be here tonight, sir. General: Well, we are very pleased to have you here, Grantham. Robert, Earl of Grantham: You see, just to know I'm with you all. To sense that I belong here. It's as simple as this: I no longer feel like a fraud. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPTAL, CORRIDOR - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Molesley broods in the hospital corridor, waiting for Dr Clarkson.] Dr Clarkson: Mr Molesley, what are you doing here? Mr Molesley: I was waiting to see you, Doctor. Dr Clarkson: How can I help? Mr Molesley: It's just, I was wondering whether you'd written that letter, the one you spoke of this afternoon. Dr Clarkson: To the war office? [Molesley nods.] Dr Clarkson: Not yet. I'm sorry you were involved in all that. I should've checked with you first before I interfered. Mr Molesley: Well, that's just it, you see, I think if you had checked with me, y--you'd have found exactly what Lady Grantham described. Dr Clarkson: I don't quite-- Mr Molesley: I have trouble with my lungs. I get sort of...breathless sometimes. I-- I've noticed it's getting worse. [Dr Clarkson lifts his chin, understanding Molesley's motivations.] Mr Molesley: They haven't written to William yet. The Ministry, I mean. They have discharged me. Why don't just make extra work for them to have to fail me all over again? Dr Clarkson: Very well. I shall correct my statement as regards William. But make no mention of you. Mr Molesley: Thank you, Doctor. [Dr Clarkson nods.] Dr Clarkson: It's all right. [Molesley begins to leave.] Dr Clarkson: But Molesley. I hope you will help the war effort...in other ways. [Molesley nods and exits.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RICHMOND - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [The officers sit down to drinks.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: When might the regiment be wanted, sir? The talk at dinner suggested it might be soon. General: Oh, pretty soon I'd say. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Well, I'm as ready now as I'll ever be. [Robert waits, expectantly.] General: For what? Robert, Earl of Grantham: To go to France...with the regiment. General: Why would you do that? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Because I'm their Colonel, of course. Well, there must be some use for me over there. General: My dear fellow, we're not as heartless as that. The position's only an honorary one. Nobody expects you to go to war. Robert, Earl of Grantham: An honorary one? General: We thought it'd cheer things up a bit to have the Lord Lieutenant at our table. And so it does. We're very glad to welcome you here. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I see. [The general is oblivious to Robert's disappointment.] General: We old codgers have our work cut out for us, keeping spirits high at home. Someone must. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Oh, indeed, sir. [Something catches the general's eye.] General: Was that [?] Cavendish? I must catch him before I go. [Robert nods as the general leaves. Then contemplates his honorary title.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [O'Brien prepares Cora's hair for bed.] O'Brien: So, Lady Sybil got off all right in the end. I'm afraid we have to admit, she knows what she wants. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Yes. She certainly does. O'Brien: I don't suppose the war will leave any of us alone by the time it's done. I had a letter from Thomas the other day. He writes that, when he thinks about how things used to be, it seems like a dream. Not much more than two years ago, but he says he might as well be a century. Cora, Countess of Grantham: So you hear from Thomas? Is he well? Please give him my regards. O'Brien: He's well enough, my lady. I don't think he'd mind coming home. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Oh, I wish he could, O'Brien. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LORD GRANTHAM'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Of course, if Bates hadn't been so bloody selfish, he would've let us plan for his departure properly. Mr Carson: Your Lordship, I have information that I have no proper claim to. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Well, what is it? Mr Carson: Well, if Your Lordship can assure me that you'll keep it to yourself. Robert, Earl of Grantham: (sigh) I promise, Carson. You can drop the last veil. Mr Carson: Well, I feel it is only right to tell you that Mr Bates's leaving was not selfish. Quite the reverse. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Felt selfish to me. As for the wretched Anna, [?] with dishonest promises. MR CARSON (clears throat) Mr Bates left because, had he not done so, his wife was planning to engulf this house in scandal. Robert, Earl of Grantham: (chuckles) In scandal? [Robert sees Carson's serious expression.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: What scandal? Mr Carson: The point is, my lord, Mrs Bates would've made Downton notorious. The price of her silence was her husband's return. Robert, Earl of Grantham: But I must know what story she was planning to tell. Mr Carson: I'm sorry, my lord. I could not speak of it without injuring you and betraying myself. Robert, Earl of Grantham: But you are saying that Bates fell on his sword to protect the reputation of my family. [Mr Carson nods.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DRAWING ROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Ethel is dusting an electric plug by in the near dark. Carson is about to close the doors when he hears the rustling of her duster. He enters and checks on her.] Mr Carson: Ethel, what are you doing? Ethel: Seeing to the plugs for the night. Mr Carson: What? Ethel: Polishing the electric plugs and checking them for vapours. Mr Carson: And why are you doing this? Ethel: Because you were too busy. She said you usually did it, but could I manage it tonight. Mr Carson: And "she", I take it, would be Miss O'Brien. [Mr Carson gives Ethel a look, revealing her naivety.] Mr Carson: Go to bed, Ethel. And next time she gives you an order, ask me first. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Robert absentmindedly removes his robe, lost in thought.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Is anything the matter? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Nothing. Except that today has shown me I am not only a worthless man, but also a bad tempered and ungrateful one. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Well, we all know that. [Robert lets out a puff of amusement.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Can I help? I wonder how Sybil's feeling. Robert, Earl of Grantham: The war's reaching its long fingers into Downton and scattering out chicks. But I'm glad we made peace with Matthew. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I agree. Let us thank Sir Richard Carlisle for distracting Mary at just the right moment. By the way, she wants him to come and stay so we can all meet him. Robert, Earl of Grantham: She wants us to invite a hawker of newspaper scandal to stay as a guest in this house? It's lucky I have a sense of irony. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOUSEMAIDS' BEDROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Anna enters to find Ethel sitting on the bed crying.] Anna: Not you, too. [Anna puts her lamp on the mantel and pulls up a chair beside Ethel.] Anna: What's the matter? Ethel: Why ask? You don't care. [Anna rolls her eyes in frustration.] Anna: Ethel...perhaps if you stop going on about all the marvellous things you're going to do when you leave service. [Ethel looks up in disbelief.] Ethel: But you've got to have dreams. Don't you have any dreams? Anna: Of course I do. Big dreams. [Anna is close to tears.] Anna: It's just, I know now they won't be coming true. [Ethel takes Anna's hand to comfort her.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY MARY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mary kneels by her bed, looking at a photo of Matthew. She folds her hands, but hears the door knob turn and quickly shoves the photo under the blanket and stands up. Edith enters.] Lady Mary: What do you want? Lady Edith: I think I left my book in here. [Mary finds the book and hands it to Edith. Edith smiles in amusement.] Lady Mary: Is that all? Lady Edith: You were praying. Lady Mary: Don't be ridiculous. Lady Edith: You were praying. What were you praying for? Lady Mary: Please go, I'm tired. [Edith leaves. Mary kneels beside the bed again and pulls out Matthew's photo. She folds her hands.] Lady Mary: Dear Lord, I don't pretend to have much credit with you. I'm not even sure that you're there. But if you are, and if I've ever done anything good, I beg you to keep him safe. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BATTLEFRONT TRENCHES - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew walks through the quiet trenches. He finds Thomas sitting in a shelter, having some tea.] Matthew Crawley: You look very comfortable there, Corporal. [Thomas gets up quickly and solutes Matthew. Matthew solutes back.] Thomas: Would you like some, sir? We've got condensed milk and sugar. Matthew Crawley: I won't ask how you managed that. [They sit in the shelter and Thomas pours Matthew a drink while he removes his helmet. Thomas hands him the drink.] Thomas: Go on, sir. [Thomas removes his helmet. Matthew takes a sip.] Matthew Crawley: That's nectar. You sure you can spare it? Thomas: Gladly. If we could talk about the old days and forget about all this for a minute or two. Matthew Crawley: Do you ever hear from anyone? Thomas: Oh, yes. Miss O'Brien keeps me informed. Lady Edith's driving. [Matthew smiles with a chuckle.] Thomas: Lady Sybil's training as a nurse. Miss O'Brien tells me the hospital's busier than ever with the wounded coming in. That true? Matthew Crawley: Certainly is. They had a concert when I was there to raise extra funds. [Thomas thinks for a moment, beginning to plot.] Thomas: I'm curious, sir. Do you think I could ever get a transfer back to the hospital, seeing as it's war work? Matthew Crawley: Well, you'd have to be sent home from the front first. And then you might have to pull a few strings. [Matthew finishes his tea.] Matthew Crawley: Thank you for that. Thank you very much. Thomas: What would my mother say? Me entertaining the future Earl of Grantham for tea. [Matthew smiles his amusement.] Matthew Crawley: War has a way of distinguishing between the things that matter and the things that don't. [They put their helmets back on and exit the shelter. They solute each other and Matthew leaves. Thomas pauses for a moment and then makes his way through the trenches. He finds a lonely spot and begins to panic as he puts out a cigarette and lighter. His panic rises as he holds up the lighter above the top of the trench. A shot rings out and he pulls his hand in, cradling the bloody wound.] Thomas: Thank you. Thank you for my deliverance.	Plan: A: September 1916; Q: When did Matthew announce his engagement to Lavinia Swire? A: Matthew; Q: Who is engaged to Miss Lavinia Swire? A: Downton; Q: Where is Matthew returning to during his leave? A: the family; Q: Who did Matthew tell about his engagement to Miss Lavinia Swire? A: Lady Mary; Q: Who invited Sir Richard Carlisle to Downton? A: Mary; Q: Who does Matthew reconcile with? A: a ruthless, wealthy newspaper mogul; Q: Who is Sir Richard Carlisle? A: a concert; Q: What do the servants prepare for to help fund the local hospital? A: Bates; Q: Who tells Anna that he may finally be able to get a divorce? A: Vera Bates; Q: Who is Bates' estranged wife? A: her; Q: Who did Vera Bates demand Bates return to? A: Lady Mary's; Q: Whose indiscretion with Pamuk did Vera Bates threaten to expose? A: Mrs Hughes; Q: Who told the story of Bates's notice to Mr. Carson? A: Lord Grantham; Q: Who did Mr. Carson tell about the story of Vera Bates? A: Sybil; Q: Who enrolls in nursing training? A: Branson; Q: Who reveals his feelings before Sybil leaves? A: the trenches; Q: Where did Matthew meet Thomas? A: England; Q: Where did Thomas want to be sent to after he gets wounded? Summary: September 1916. Matthew is returning to Downton during his upcoming leave and informs the family he is engaged to Miss Lavinia Swire. Lady Mary announces that she has invited Sir Richard Carlisle, a ruthless, wealthy newspaper mogul to Downton. The servants prepare for a concert to help fund the local hospital. Bates tells Anna that he may finally be able to get a divorce and proposes. Vera Bates, Bates' estranged wife, arrives at Downton and demands that Bates return to her or she will expose Lady Mary's indiscretion with Pamuk. Bates gives his notice without explanation. Mrs Hughes tells the story to Mr. Carson, and he informs Lord Grantham. Sybil enrolls in nursing training. Branson reveals his feelings before Sybil leaves. Matthew arrives with Lavinia. He and Mary reconcile. Matthew meets Thomas in the trenches. Thomas intentionally gets wounded to be sent back to England.
The Sensorites The Unwilling Warrior By Peter R. Newman 5:40pm - 6:05pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1, INT: CONTROL ROOM CAROL: I can sense them all around us now. MAITLAND: Shh. (There is silence. Maitland and Carol appear to be frozen in position. Ian wanders back to the screen. He looks at it and his eyes widen.) IAN: Doctor! Doctor... (Through the main porthole a bald, bulbous, salmon-coloured face peers in at them with two completely black eyes. It's ears are long and pointed and a small mouth is hidden beneath a wiry tangle of white whiskers. Oddly enough, although it is in the vacuum of space it appears to have no kind of a pressure suit, possibly some device built into it's jumpsuit is projecting a transparent energy-bubble which is enough to keep pressure in and radiation out. It is also likely that the same device serves to propel it from the planet and short distances through space.) DOCTOR: Steady Chesterton, steady...the calmer you are, the stronger. (The Doctor, Maitland and Carol Richmond all appear transfixed by the Sensorite at the porthole as if it has some kind of mesmeric influence.) IAN: Doctor, look at these two. DOCTOR: Mm? (The Doctor is torn from his reverie, and he gets up to examine the others.) DOCTOR: Maitland? Maitland! Can you hear me? (It appears to have no effect.) DOCTOR: Fear my boy. It's loosened his mind and it gives the Sensorites the chance to control it. IAN: Doctor, that thing's still out there. DOCTOR: Oh ignore it! Maitland! (The Doctor gives Maitland a gentle shake, and blinking a few times, he appears to become a little more lucid.) MAITLAND: Yes... I hear you. DOCTOR: There's work to be done my boy! Work, understand? MAITLAND: Work... IAN: He's responding! DOCTOR: There's a door to be opened, remember? MAITLAND: A...door, er yes! DOCTOR: Danger on the other side. MAITLAND: John, ah yes... We must get the two girls out! DOCTOR: Good, good, good! [SCENE_BREAK] 2, INT: STARBOARD CORRIDOR BARBARA: All we want you to do is to open the door. JOHN: No! I'll protect you. SUSAN: But our friends are out there. JOHN: They're dead, all dead. BARBARA: But we were just with them SUSAN: Just a few minutes ago. (John doubles up in agony clutching at his head as if the jaws of an invisible vice were closing around his mind. He falls to a crouch on the floor. Susan stoops to his level with a tender expression on her face, and Barbara does the same.) SUSAN: What is it? JOHN: They're here. Inside here! (He motions to his head between sobs.) BARBARA: John, open the door. (John looks up towards a point in the room and stares at nothing desperately.) JOHN: Frighten them? No, I can't do it! No...no! SUSAN: Somebody's talking to him - inside his mind. JOHN: No, don't force me. ...You can't! I won't do it! My head! (He buries his head in his hands again and begins to sob loudly.) JOHN: Pain! Why is this, why is this, why is this? SUSAN: Somebody's ordering him to do something I know they are. Something to harm us! [SCENE_BREAK] 3, INT: CONTROL ROOM (Maitland heaves the door, but it remains immobile.) MAITLAND: I'll have to use the cutter. IAN: Oh not again! How long will this take? MAITLAND: It's the only way. (Ian leaves Maitland to his laborious task of sawing with the miniature thermic-lance through the lock of the enormous metal shutter that looks more like a section of mobile bulkhead than a door.) IAN: Yes, I know... Just that I'm so worried about Barbara and Susan. (The Doctor chuckles at Ian's impetuousness.) DOCTOR: Now-now-now, try and contain your emotions; use self-control. Otherwise it confuses the brain and leaves it wide open to an attack by the Sensorites. Look at Maitland here - fear and inertia has left him vulnerable! IAN: Yes that's true enough Doctor. (Carol wanders over to the Doctor and Ian.) RICHMOND: The Sensorites are in the ship now. IAN: What? How did they get here? RICHMOND: Through the loading bay. DOCTOR: But that can't be where Barbara and Susan are now... RICHMOND: No, but we must get to them as soon as possible. IAN: Oh nobody's arguing about that! DOCTOR: But that man John's with them, and... RICHMOND: The Sensorites have control over John's mind, they may force him to obey their orders. (Ian returns to Maitland and watches as he continues on the lock of the door.) IAN: How's it coming? MAITLAND: Slowly, but it's working. IAN: If I only knew what was happening on on the other side of this door! (He bangs on the heavy metal door and shouts.) IAN: Barbara! Susan! [SCENE_BREAK] 4, INT: STARBOARD CORRIDOR SUSAN: Listen. (They hear a muffled banging.) SUSAN: It's coming from the outside. BARBARA: Yes, I can just hear it. It must be Ian trying to get through. (John looks up.) SUSAN: Yes. JOHN: Give me your hand. (Barbara does so.) JOHN: They want me to frighten you, I mustn't give way. SUSAN: Oh he's so tense Barbara, can't we help him. BARBARA: John, we're not afraid. JOHN: Not afraid? BARBARA: Not while we have you to protect us. SUSAN: It's quiet and peaceful here. There-there's no real danger. JOHN: The Sensorites... BARBARA: We're you're friends John. JOHN: Friends... (He looks up at the empty wall again, his face contorting in inner agony.) JOHN: No, they are my friends! [SCENE_BREAK] 5, INT: CONTROL ROOM (Ian paces around like a caged tiger, he briefly inspects Maitland's work on the door, but the work is still painfully slow.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6, INT: REAR CABIN (The Sensorites are seen completely for the first time. They are dressed in curious pale one-piece jumpsuits from their neck to their circular snow-shoe sized feet, and each carries a small wire frame-like beam weapon similar to the one that cut the lock from the TARDIS. The black rings around their wrists identify them as science-caste. They gingerly enter a cabin from the direction of the loading bay and look around) [SCENE_BREAK] 7, INT: STARBOARD CORRIDOR SUSAN: Barbara I've got an idea. BARBARA: Yes? SUSAN: He's quiet now, but we can't be sure that the Sensorites won't make him help them. Look, if they can use their brains, why can't we use ours? BARBARA: To defend him? SUSAN: Yes, and ourselves. Look, Grandfather and I landed on a planet once called Esto, the plants there used though transference. If you stood in between two of the plants they set up a sort of screeching noise; Grandfather said it was because they were aware of another mind. BARBARA: ...Breaking in on their communications. SUSAN: Yes exactly! I thought if we both tried together... BARBARA: Well anything's better than just sitting here. (John stands up staring wildly into space.) JOHN: Sensorites! They're nearer now. SUSAN: You see, if we both think of the same thing at the same time. BARBARA: Well what do you mean? "We defy you", something like that? SUSAN: Yes, yes "We defy you". BARBARA: Alright. SUSAN: Now we must both picture the words very clearly in our minds. We must both concentrate very hard. Ready? BARBARA: Yes. When I count to five. One... [SCENE_BREAK] 8, INT: REAR CABIN (One of the Sensorites picks up a small lamp and they examine it curiously.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9, INT: STARBOARD CORRIDOR BARBARA: Four...five! (Barbara stand in silent concentration.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10, INT: REAR CABIN (The results upon the Sensorites is instant and electric, they both reel across the room clutching their heads as if they had been hit by the blast wave of a silent scream exploding in their minds.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11, INT: STARBOARD CORRIDOR (As they are standing in thought Susan seems to get hit by some kind of a mental parry-riposte and loses consciousness for a moment, Barbara catching her.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12, INT: CONTROL ROOM (Having finished on the lock Maitland attempts to raise the shutter, but it sticks after sliding up to reveal a mere half-foot gap.) MAITLAND: Oh, it's jammed, we'll have to cut the whole section out! IAN: We can't wait. I'll give you a hand. MAITLAND: Wait a minute. (They both heave the heavy metal shutter upwards.) IAN: That's it...It's going... (Between them they manage to wrest the shutter up, and they rush inside.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13, INT: CABIN (The Doctor chats with Carol and Susan watches from the background.) DOCTOR: Yes it might be possible for Susan's thoughts to reach out to the Sensorites. RICHMOND: So we really can resist them? DOCTOR: Yes, and there's that friend of yours, John. We must look after him. Aah, let me see now... Oh course er they have a hold on his mind you know... RICHMOND: Oh, he's sleeping peacefully now. DOCTOR: Ah, Yes. I wonder...did Susan relieve the pressure? SUSAN: I-I heard hundreds of voices in my mind Grandfather. (He fixes her with a stern expression.) DOCTOR: Oh yes, and that was a stupid thing to do Susan! Because you were strong-willed and without fear they didn't harm you. (Susan avoids his gaze. Maitland enters.) DOCTOR: Mm? MAITLAND: He's resting now. Did you know his hair was almost white? (The Doctor reproves him a haughty stare.) DOCTOR: Ah, there's nothing wrong with that. MAITLAND: In a man of thirty, Doctor? And he looked so old! Why have the Sensorites done this? What do they want from us? (The Doctor shrugs.) DOCTOR: I... (Ian appears in the doorway.) IAN: Doctor? DOCTOR: Mm? IAN: John muttered something before he passed out. "The dreams of avarice." Now on Earth we have a saying: "Rich beyond the dreams of avarice." DOCTOR: Mm. IAN: I think he's discovered something. DOCTOR: Mm. IAN: It would explain why he's had the worst of it from the Sensorites. DOCTOR: Yes, er..what were John's duties? MAITLAND: W-he's our mineralogist. IAN: You see, makes sense. John mumbling something about riches - I think he must have discovered something that the Sensorites wanted to keep secret. So they silenced him, and kept all of you prisoners about their planet. DOCTOR: I see. And now they're trying to do the same thing to us. We must get the lock of the TARDIS back. Have you tried talking to them? MAITLAND: Talking to them?! DOCTOR: Yes, we must try - we must! [SCENE_BREAK] 14, INT: REAR CABIN (The first Sensorite plucks a small disc the size of a thick coin that is on a string around his neck; this is a Thought Amplification Disk, a device which focuses and amplifies the natural Sensorite talent acting like a kind of alien mobile telephone. Placing the TAD to it's forehead, the first Sensorite stands and listens as a strange series of wavering ethereal notes are felt rather heard in a curious way. The creatures speak to each other with soft, gentle-sounding voices.) FIRST-SENSORITE: The First-Elder is communicating, be alert while I listen. ...Yes, the First-Elder is interested in human voice which said "we defy you". SECOND-SENSORITE: The human creatures that are newly arrived seem to possess more intelligence than the others. FIRST-SENSORITE: The First-Elder said they have less fear of us. We are to stay here and watch and listen to them closely; if they try to attack us with force we are to summon our warriors to destroy them. [SCENE_BREAK] 15, INT: CONTROL ROOM (Maitland presents a device resembling a large cylindrical tub.) MAITLAND: One spectroscope Doctor. RICHMOND: I do remember that he was beginning to take a reading of the minerals in the vicinity. BARBARA: And then what happened? RICHMOND: Well that was the first time that the Sensorites attacked us. DOCTOR: Would you like to look at that graph for a moment? (He hands Ian a strip of card with a series of coloured lines on it.) IAN: Yes. Oh, there's nothing much here... Pretty ordinary collection of things: Oxygen, hydrogen, sodium... (Susan glances at the strip of card.) SUSAN: Oh what's that? IAN: Oh, it's a spectrograph Susan. You see those lines, they represent the emission wavelengths that... SUSAN: Oh yes, course. (Ian grins at Susan's attempt to be subtle.) IAN: Mm... No there certainly isn't anything special indicated on this. RICHMOND: You're very strange people. SUSAN: Are we? RICHMOND: Well you come from nowhere and you seem to be going nowhere. BARBARA: Oh we're very dependent on the Doctor - he leads and we follow. RICHMOND: Travel without a purpose? BARBARA: Oh no, there's a purpose in it. He's trying to get us back to our own time on Earth. RICHMOND: Oh I see. SUSAN: Isn't it better to travel hopefully than arrive? RICHMOND: Oh anything's better than circling around a planet forever and being kept alive. Alive... It's been more like a living-death. DOCTOR: I just don't understand, there must be a clue here somewhere, there must be. IAN: Well I dunno Doctor. Certainly isn't much here. MAITLAND: Well I studied it whenever I could, but it didn't look like anything that would cause much excitement. The Sense-Sphere is just an ordinary planet with a slightly bigger land mass than usual; but er, that's all. DOCTOR: Yes, that's very interesting. Er, may I? MAITLAND: Certainly. (Maitland hands the strip to the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Excuse me. (He sits in a corner and scrutinises the pattern with his pince-nez.) SUSAN: We know that the Sensorites have discovered thought transference. BARBARA: And when John discovered something, he became so excited that his mind opened up and he broadcast it to the Sensorites. And it was something they wanted kept a secret. RICHMOND: Mm. DOCTOR: What...what is this? What was it Chesterton said? "Rich beyond the dreams of avarice." Yes, of course, of course. I know what he found! (He gets up and hands the strip to Ian.) DOCTOR: Molybdenum! It's all here in the graph, but it's all mixed up with the lines so it doesn't make obvious reading. IAN: Molybdenum? DOCTOR: Yes. MAITLAND: It resists very high temperatures. DOCTOR: Yes, it's used in an alloy in steel, in fact this machine would be useless without it. (He waves around the spacecraft.) DOCTOR: Now let me see, iron melts at er...one-thousand five-hundred and thirty-nine degrees centigrade; and molybdenum melts at two-thousand six-hundred and twenty-two degrees centigrade. So you know, that er, will give you some idea. Yes I see now just what John found, no wonder he was so excited. That planet must be full of it - full of it! Yes, a veritable goldmine! (Maitland and Carol clutch their heads in agony.) MAITLAND: Sensorites! RICHMOND: They're here, on this ship! MAITLAND: Oh! IAN: Come on Barbara, let's find them. (They open the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16, INT: PORT CORRIDOR (As they stride down the corridor, to one side John is sleeping peacefully in his bunk. They pass by and enter a cabin at the end of the corridor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17, INT: CABIN (Inside Ian motions silently to another door leading from the cabin to a rear section. He waves his hand over a photo-electric cell and the door clicks open to reveal another corridor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18, INT: REAR CORRIDOR (They cautiously walk down the corridor, and come to yet another door.) BARBARA: Where do you suppose this leads? IAN: I dunno. Let's find out shall we? You needn't come if you don't want to. BARBARA: Nonsense! (They open the door, and go through.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19, INT: REAR CABIN (They Look around and at the open cupboards. Barbara gasps as the two Sensorites step out of the shadows; Ian quickly rushes to grab the nearest heavy metal object from the cupboard, a futuristic kind of wrench. He stands between the Sensorites and Barbara as they begin to advance.) IAN: Open the door. (Barbara opens the door and they back away, moving through the doorway again.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20, INT: REAR CORRIDOR (Closing the door after them Ian turns to Barbara.) IAN: Go and find Maitland, ask him how to lock this door. BARBARA: But Ian, you... IAN: Go on, don't worry about me! (Barbara turns again.) IAN: Go on! (She leaves just as the door opens again and the Sensorites enter. Ian backs away, as he does so the first-Sensorite raises it's TAD to it's head causing Ian to raise the wrench up like a club. Startled, the alien drops the disc, but in moments he and his companion begin to advance again. Ian tries to open the door as they advance, but it seems stuck. He warns them off with the club again, but they seem considerably less startled the second time. With a click the door opens and Ian exits the corridor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21, INT: CABIN (Ian begins to retreat again casting a glance back, towards the door to the port corridor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22, INT: CONTROL ROOM BARBARA: Tell me how do we lock the doors? Please try and concentrate! DOCTOR: The sick member of the crew, try him. BARBARA: Oh, he'll be in no condition to help. DOCTOR: Do as I say! (She moves away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23, INT: PORT CORRIDOR (In the tiny alcove that serves as John's cabin Barbara shakes him awake.) BARBARA: John, show me how to lock the doors. The Sensorites are on the ship, we must stop them. (Supporting John, she walks over to the cabin at the end of the corridor just as Ian walks through followed by the Sensorites on the far side. As they try to walk through the door to follow Ian he raises the wrench in a threatening manner again.) BARBARA: Ian, no! IAN: Why not? How else am I supposed to keep these creatures off? BARBARA: Well do you need to keep them off? Have they actually attacked you? Come on John, lock the door. (He moves his hand.) JOHN: It can't open now. BARBARA: It's strange, they didn't harm you? IAN: No, I think that they were as frightened of me as I was of them. BARBARA: Then they're not very aggressive are they? IAN: No. BARBARA: Come on, let's get back to the others. IAN: The others...the other way! The Sensorites can get through that way! (He rushes to the door to the starboard corridor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24, INT: CONTROL ROOM MAITLAND: It's beginning to clear now. (Barbara leads John up to the shutter.) BARBARA: Bolt the door John, bolt it. (John waves his hand over the photo-Cell and there is a clunk from within the door.) IAN: Now we'll see what the Sensorites can do. [SCENE_BREAK] 25, INT: CABIN (The second Sensorite raises it's hand device, and with a satisfying flash from the photo-cell in the wall, the door clicks unlocked. They push it open and walk into the corridor beyond.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26, INT: PORT CORRIDOR (As they reach the shutter, the second Sensorite raises the laser again, but it's companion shakes it's head.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27, INT: CONTROL ROOM DOCTOR: This is all very well, but I think that one of us should try to contact them. BARBARA: Are you feeling better now? MAITLAND: Much better. RICHMOND: Oh I don't know what happened, but I'm certainly feeling better now. [SCENE_BREAK] 28, INT: PORT CORRIDOR (The Sensorites both raise their thought-amplification disks and the strange telepathic whistling notes are felt again.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29, INT: CONTROL ROOM IAN: I'm sure it's no coincidence that the Sensorites attacked as soon as you discovered the molybdenum. (Susan looks up and stares at nothing as she feels the strange ethereal music.) SUSAN: Yes, but they won't agree to that. DOCTOR: ...Agree? To what? What are you talking about child? SUSAN: I-I'm sure they'll talk to you about it... BARBARA: Susan, what is it? SUSAN: Alright, I'll ask them. ...I'll tell you later. (She turns to the Doctor.) SUSAN: The Sensorites want to know if it's alright for them to talk to you. IAN: Are you saying that you're in tou... DOCTOR: Do you mean to say that you've made contact with them? SUSAN: Yes. DOCTOR: Well of course we shall see them, but they must agree not to harm us. SUSAN: Right. DOCTOR: If they try to harm us then I shall fight them. (Susan nods and the notes start again.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31, INT: PORT CORRIDOR (The Sensorites stand communicating their instructions to Susan from behind the shutter.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32, INT: CONTROL ROOM (Susan walks across the room, unlocks and lifts the shutter. The Sensorites enter the control room.) FIRST-SENSORITE: Which one is the Doctor? SECOND-SENSORITE: The one with the white hair. DOCTOR: Speak up, I can't hear you. FIRST-SENSORITE: We have been speaking to each other. DOCTOR: What is it you want of us? Why won't you let these space-people go back to their Earth, mm? FIRST-SENSORITE: None of you can ever again can ever leave the area of the Sense-Sphere. DOCTOR: Why not? SECOND-SENSORITE: You know the answer to that! IAN: Because of molybdenum. We are not interested in it! SECOND-SENSORITE: So you say, but once before we trusted Earthmen - to our cost! DOCTOR: So Earthmen have visited the Sense-Sphere? FIRST-SENSORITE: Yes. And they caused us a fearful affliction. We shall not allow it to happen again. MAITLAND: What do you expect us to do, drift around forever? FIRST-SENSORITE: No, you will all come back with us. A special area has been prepared for you on the sense-Sphere. There you will live and there you will be looked after. DOCTOR: These people cannot possibly accede to your request, it's out of the question! FIRST-SENSORITE: You will do exactly as we tell you because you have no choice; none of you! DOCTOR: My party does have a choice, and I assure we have no intention of spending the rest of our lives with you! IAN: Well you have our answer. What do you propose to do? SECOND-SENSORITE: We intend taking you down to the Sense-Sphere, but we do not wish to harm you in any way. IAN: Since we've met you we have no wish to harm you. But you must get off this ship. FIRST-SENSORITE: What if we refuse? IAN: We will attack you. FIRST-SENSORITE: The other Earth people will not be able to help you. BARBARA: Surely we've proved that we don't need help. SECOND-SENSORITE: You have only proved that you can lock doors. We can unlock them! DOCTOR: Now listen to me both of you. You've taken the lock of my ship and I want it returned immediately. SECOND-SENSORITE: You are in no position to threaten us. DOCTOR: I don't make threats, but I do keep promises - and I promise you I shall cause more trouble than you bargained for... If you don't return my property! (The Sensorites cower with hands over their ears at the loudness of his tone.) FIRST-SENSORITE: We must decide what we shall do. (They return to the port corridor again.) BARBARA: What did they mean decide? IAN: I dunno, sounds as though there's something else they can do to us. DOCTOR: Oh they might have been referring to Susan. SUSAN: The Sensorites only spoke to me. DOCTOR: Next time - if there is an next time - they might try and control your mind child. Like they have to these two people. MAITLAND: Doctor, is there no way you can get into your ship? DOCTOR: No, not unless they return what they stole from my ship. RICHMOND: But will they'll never give it back to you! DOCTOR: Oh my dear, they're not invincible, no-no-no. Did any of you notice the peculiarity in their eyes? MAITLAND: No I can't say I did. DOCTOR: It's a fallacy of course that cats can see in the dark, they can't; but they can see better than we humans because the iris of their eyes dilates at night. Yes...huh! Haha! IAN: What are you driving at Doctor? DOCTOR: Oh, it's all perfectly simple Chesterton, you see the Sensorites eyes are the exact opposite to that of a cats. The Sensorites eyes were completely dilated, that is enormous in light. IAN: Conclusion, is that they would contract in darkness. DOCTOR: Exactly, and that is our best weapon! The Sensorites will be frightened in the dark. SUSAN: But you can't be sure of that. You're only sure that they can't see in the dark. DOCTOR: I very much doubt, my child, that they can see in the semi-darkness. BARBARA: But Doctor, assuming you're right... IAN: Which he is of course. DOCTOR: Naturally. BARBARA: Then how can you be sure that the Sensorites will be frightened of the dark? DOCTOR: My dear Barbara, wouldn't you be afraid if you couldn't see your enemies, mm? (He fixes Ian with a curious, piercing gaze.) DOCTOR: Thank you for your admiration my dear boy, thank you. (He pats Ian's arm in a friendly manner.) IAN: Well I never said a word! DOCTOR: Ha-ha, telepathy! You know telepathy isn't only a prerequisite of the Sensorites. I know sometimes what you're thinking! Hm-hm! Hm-hm! (The whistling tone is felt once more in the control room and Susan looks up.) SUSAN: I don't want to go. DOCTOR: My dear what..? BARBARA: They're talking to her again. IAN: What are they saying? SUSAN: Ssh! I-I can't hear them very well. ...Oh that's better, there-there's just one voice a long way away. DOCTOR: What's the message child? SUSAN: Oh... Oh alright. But none of the others must be harmed. (She glances at the Doctor, Ian and Barbara.) SUSAN: Don't move any of you. Grandfather it was the only way, they knew I'd agree. (She walks to the open doorway to the port corridor.) DOCTOR: Agree? To what? SUSAN: To go down with them to their planet. Otherwise we'll all be killed. (Susan walks through the doorway and joins the Sensorites. The shutter closes behind her.)	Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who travels to the Sense Sphere to cure an illness? A: Susan; Q: Who communicates with the Sensorites? A: the TARDIS; Q: Where do the Doctor, Ian, Barbara and Susan arrive on board a spaceship? A: the ship's human crew; Q: Who is suffering from telepathic interference from the Sensorites? A: an attack; Q: What do the aliens fear from the humans? A: the Sense Sphere; Q: Where is the Sensorites' planet? A: deliberate poisoning; Q: What is the cause of the illness that the Sensorites and Ian have succumbed to? A: another threat; Q: What does the political manoeuvring of the Sensorite City Administrator pose to the TARDIS crew? A: the TARDIS crew; Q: Who is the Sensorite City Administrator trying to discredit and implicate? Summary: The Doctor, Ian, Barbara and Susan arrive in the TARDIS on board aspaceship. Their initial concern is for the ship's human crew, who are suffering from telepathic interference from the Sensorites, but Susan communicates with the Sensorites and finds the aliens fear an attack by the humans and are just defending themselves. Travelling to the Sense Sphere (the Sensorites' planet) the Doctor seeks to cure an illness to which the Sensorites and Ian have succumbed, but finds it has been caused by deliberate poisoning. The political manoeuvring of the Sensorite City Administrator poses another threat to the TARDIS crew as he seeks to discredit and implicate them.
LUCAS: (v.o) Previously on One Tree Hill. [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (Lucas tips his medicine tub and only one pill falls out - his last one. He looks up worriedly.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KAREN'S CAFÉ - COUNTER - EVENING] (Haley walks to Lucas and talks to him quietly.) HALEY: I went on this website that said sluggish physical performance is one of the side effects of the HCM medication. Players have collapsed and died because of this! You need to tell Whitey about your heart(!) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. KAREN'S CAFÉ - WINDOW - DAY] (Karen is putting up her sign and lowers it when she sees Dan's huge one.) DAN: (v.o) I want you to talk some sense into your mother. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - THE GYM - EVENING] (Dan and Lucas are the only ones in the gym.) DAN: Tell her to drop out of the mayor's race. LUCAS: You afraid of the competition? DAN: Just talk to her - that is if you can catch your breath. (Lucas scowls at him.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - GIRLS LOCKER ROOM - DAY] (Brooke holds out her bag and each cheerleader takes a compact.) BROOKE: Here's how the Fantasy Boy Draft works: once you draft a guy, he is yours for the season. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL HIGH - GROUNDS - DAY] (Lucas frowns at Brooke. Rachel comes up behind him.) RACHEL: She picked Chris Keller (pause) and... I picked you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - FRONT DOOR - DAY] (The door I open to a gaping Brooke and an amused Chris.) CHRIS: My date's already dressed for bed. (enters) Looks like someone's horny for a little Chris Keller. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL HIGH - GROUNDS - DAY] (Brooke and Haley walk together.) BROOKE: Did I mention that my designs were a total hit with the corporate big-stuffs over at Suburban Filth? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE MALL - THE WINDOW - EVENING] (Brooke stands at the window of Suburban Filth, looking at the mannequins wearing her clothes. She is in complete awe.) BROOKE: (v.o) They might pick them up for a fashion line! [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE RIVERCOURT - BENCHES - EVENING] (Rachel and Lucas are sitting at the benches.) RACHEL: So, she's on a date with Chris - it doesn't mean anything. LUCAS: It does. She's the 'one'. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE MALL - ARCADE GAME - EVENING] (Brooke is pleading with Nathan.) BROOKE: Haley still loves you. All you have to do is take her back. NATHAN: Right, kinda like with- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - BROOKE AND HALEY'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Brooke takes out a box from under her bed. It is full of letters she has written to Lucas over the summer.) NATHAN: (v.o) -you and Lucas. You see? It's-it's not so easy getting back in the ring. Especially with the one who knocked you out in the first place. (Close-up of a letter that Brook pulls out of the box. It has Lucas' address on it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - THE BALCONY - EVENING] (Haley and Nathan talk about their life, and music.) HALEY: All of the celebrity and all of the applause... couldn't fill your void in my heart. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - BROOKE AND HALEY'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Lucas opens Brooke's bedroom door without knocking. She turns quickly and sees him smiling at her. Chris gets up from beside her and looks at Lucas cockily. Off Lucas' hurt face.) FADE TO BLACK: END OF PREVIOUSLY ON: OPENING CREDITS ROLL: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MARKET STREET (EST) - DAY] (Birds-eye view of a huge sign that says: 'GO TREE HILL RAVENS'. It is hung between two posts. People run around, excited, including the mascot.) (Karen is by her café, hanging up her petition signs. People are way too excited for a simple basketball game.) RANDOM PERSON: (to Karen) Great time to be a kid, huh? (Karen smiles and nods. The soundtrack falters.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY] (Brooke is sitting on the couch, crying. Haley and Peyton move into the shot from either side.) PEYTON: Chris Keller?! (Brooke nods.) HALEY: And Lucas actually saw? (She nods again.) PEYTON: Whoa, Chris Keller, Chris Keller? BROOKE: Stop saying his name! (Peyton throws her head back in defeat.) HALEY: I don't understand what happened - when Nathan and I left, you were like, pushing him out the door. BROOKE: I know, I know, I don't know. We were... we were drinking and I was feeling really lonely and I was really upset (pause) my shirt made his pants feel tight. (Peyton looks away in disgust.) BROOKE: Oh god, I told you guys, I was-I was drinking but he said a lot of other things and... (sighs) BROOKE: (off Haley's sympathetic look) Haley, don't look at me like that! You know how charming he can be! (Haley gives her a look. In a strange act of civility, Peyton doesn't say anything - just smiles tightly.) HALEY: Hey, he didn't, um,... (laughs forcefully) he didn't... sing to you, did he? (Peyton's eyes widen. Haley's smile falls at Brooke's distressed face.) BROOKE: (crying) Oh my god, you guys, I'm a groupie(!) PEYTON: OK, have you talked to Lucas? BROOKE: He won't answer my calls... and, I mean, I'm not gonna leave a pathetic apology on his answering machine! (Haley looks away. Brooke realises her slip-up and turns to her.) BROOKE: I'm sorry. HALEY: Hmm. BROOKE: Sorry. (Haley shakes her head, forgiving her.) BROOKE: Lucas is never gonna talk to me again. (There's a knock on the door and Brooke looks up, expectantly. She rushes to the door and opens it. Chris stands there, holding donuts.) CHRIS: Chris Keller always springs for breakfast. (Brooke scowls at him. Peyton and Haley rush to the door.) CHRIS: Oh, (pause) you've company. (He looks down at the donuts.) CHRIS: Well, I guess we'll have to share. (Brooke scoffs, grabs the donuts and Haley slams the door in his face.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL - STREETS - DAY] (Lucas is listening to his iPod and jogging. He slowly stops outside his house and looks at his bedroom door. It's red, from when he painted it to resemble Brook's last year. He turns away from it before walking to the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE RIVERWALK - DAY] (Brooke and Peyton are walking.) BROOKE: Why are you making me walk? PEYTON: You need to clear you head. Leave the scene of the crime. (Brooke scoffs.) PEYTON: Besides, we have less of a chance of Chris Keller finding us if we're moving targets. (Brooke mopes and Peyton laughs.) PEYTON: OK, come on. I know you think I'm not trying to help but I am. OK? I just... I don't know what to say! (Brooke looks at her) I haven't exactly been miss sunshine for the past seventeen years - you've always been the silver lining girl. BROOKE: That was before it was raining men in my apartment. I really, really messed up, Peyton. PEYTON: Brooke, you made a mistake, OK, we all make them. BROOKE: Not like this! OK, Lucas told me he wanted to be with me. It couldn't be easier than that. PEYTON: Alright, honey, I don't know why you're being so hard on yourself. OK, it's not like you cheated on the guy. You guys aren't even officially dating. BROOKE: Yeah, another brilliant idea from yours truly. (leans on the railing) PEYTON: Brooke, it's done, OK? You can't change it but you can fix it. (pause) So just go and talk to him. He might be more understanding than you think. You know, he's not exactly a stranger to mistakes. BROOKE: I can't talk to him, Peyton. (Peyton looks away defeatedly.) BROOKE: (tentatively) But maybe you would. PEYTON: (raises eyebrows) Me? BROOKE: You're good with words... and pain and Lucas. (Peyton frowns.) BROOKE: Please, Peyton. PEYTON: (shrugs) Fine, I'll talk to him. BROOKE: Thank you. (hugs her) I love you. PEYTON: Yeah, yeah, no promises, OK, and u know what? In the meantime, keep yourself busy (Brooke nods) don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself, OK? BROOKE: Deal. (Peyton grins.) BROOKE: I'm gonna go by Suburban Filth, anyway. I mean, at least I have my clothes. PEYTON: (without thinking) I bet you wish you coulda said that last night, huh? (grins and slaps Brooke's arm) (Brooke looks at her steadily.) PEYTON: (smile drops) Too soon? BROOKE: (almost inaudible) Just a little. PEYTON: (nods) Sorry. (Peyton puts her arm around Brooke and pulls her away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RECORDING STUDIO - RECORDING ROOM - DAY] (Close-up of the deck as the wheels turn. Pan to Chris sitting at the controls, just watching. He fiddles around a bit. The door opens and Nathan enters.) CHRIS: (stands) What, you're here to kick my ass coz I slept with Brooke? NATHAN: (shocked) You slept with Brooke? CHRIS: Why else would you be here? NATHAN: I came to pay for Haley's studio time. (still reeling) You slept with Brooke?! (walks forward) CHRIS: I like to think of it as sleeping... without the sleep. (Nathan scoffs.) CHRIS: But yeah; until Lucas-interruptus walked in. NATHAN: You gonna keep doing this evil crap your entire life? CHRIS: What's so evil about it? Two kids having fun. It's cool. NATHAN: No, it's not cool if other people's feelings are involved. CHRIS: (grinning) Nah, it's still pretty cool. NATHAN: Like when you were messing with Haley kinda cool? CHRIS: No, come on, see, that's different - Brooke's not Haley. Plus, you don't even like Lucas, do you? NATHAN: It's not about Lucas, it's about you! (pause) You went outta your way to take advantage of a girl who obviously has feelings for somebody else... again. CHRIS: I didn't go that far outta my way. Besides, how do you think I feel? (Nathan looks back at him.) CHRIS: I broke my cardinal rule about sleeping with cheerleaders. I don't... unless there's at least three of em. (Nathan's poker face remains in place.) CHRIS: (taps him on the chest) I'm kidding, and don't worry about Brooke, she's not even my type. (pause) I like singers. (smirks at Nathan) (Nathan shoves Chris hard. Chris falls hard, knocking things over as he goes. Nathan laughs at him.) NATHAN: I like to think of that as hitting you (pause as Chris scowls at him) without the hitting. (Nathan shakes his head, turns around and exits. Chris struggles.) CHRIS: You didn't even give me my money! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WXTFI 101.7 - RADIO STATION - DAY] (Karen is sitting in the booth with the announcer.) RADIO ANNOUNCER: Alright, it's morning on the Hill and we're talking local politics. Our guest today is mayoral candidate; Karen Roe. Hello, Karen and thanks for being here. Tell us about yourself. KAREN: Sure, um,... I was born and raised in Tree Hill, where I have two local businesses. (pause) I went to school at tree Hill High and I have a son who's about to graduate from there as well. RADIO ANNOUNCER: Well, great. Now tell our voters why they should vote for you over your opponent, Dan Scott. KAREN: Because... this town and the people here matter to me. Yeah, I find that some people ... care more about being a leader than they do about the people they're leading (pause) and I'm a big fan of the Tree Hill Ravens. Go Ravens! Woot! (The announcer laughs.) RADIO ANNOUNCER: Alright, let's take some calls. Our first caller is Keith. He's a... unemployed mechanic (Karen's smile falls) from Tree Hill. Keith, hello and you're on the air. DAN: (through the phone) Uh, yes. I have a question for Mrs. Roe. (Karen recognises the voice and looks away, rolling her eyes.) DAN: (through the phone) I'm sorry, I meant Miss. Roe. That's right, you're not married. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY] (Close-up of Dan's mouth as he talks into the phone.) DAN: What d'ya think about the fact that your business partner is supporting your opponent? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WXTFI 101.7 - RADIO STATION - DAY] (Karen grins.) KAREN: Yes, uh, that is true. Ironically, my business partner is married to my opponent... so I will have to forgive her her misplaced vote- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY] (The camera travels up Dan's face as he listens to her.) KAREN: (through the phone) -and her lack of taste. Luckily, she has a better head for- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WXTFI 101.7 - RADIO STATION - DAY] (Karen is still grinning.) KAREN: -business than she does for relationships. (The announcer laughs.) DAN: (through the phone) Speaking of relationships,- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY] (Close-up of Dan's mouth again.) DAN: -didn't you have a child out of wedlock? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WXTFI 101.7 - RADIO STATION - DAY] KAREN: (pause) Right, well, I like to think of it as a single parent who is raising her child to be a responsible man, (glowers) unlike the boy who fathered him. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY] (Close-up of Dan's eyes as he's stumped.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WXTFI 101.7 - RADIO STATION - DAY] RADIO ANNOUNCER: Well said. Alright, let's move on. (Karen looks on, satisfied.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY] (Dan hangs up the phone. Pan to show Deb standing in the doorway.) DEB: (annoyed) What're you, eight years old? DAN: Oh, right, this coming from a woman who cut the ass out of all my pants. DEB: (walks into the kitchen) Too bad the one in my life won't go away. DAN: (uncaringly) Good one, Deb. But, before you start getting all high-and-mighty, or in your case, just high, (pause) (Deb opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of water.) DAN: Maybe you should think about the deal we made. You're supposed to be supporting me in public. (He stands and turns as she pauses at the doorway.) DAN: You wouldn't want me going against our little bargain, would you? DEB: (turns to him) What could you possibly do to me that you haven't already done? (On cue, the door opens and Nathan enters. He looks at them but continues up the stairs. Dan walks to her.) DAN: Who said anything about you? (Deb looks away as Dan walks up the stairs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - NATHAN'S BEDROOM - DAY] (Nathan's door opens and he walks in. Dan is close behind.) DAN: Hey,... just wanted to see how the star player was doing the day before his first game. (Nathan sighs, shakes his head and keeps his back to Dan.) DAN: Like a rock, atta boy. (pause) Well, Bear Creek is weak this year, lotta scouts will be there, though. How's the knee? (Nathan finally turns.) NATHAN: Like a rock. DAN: ...good. Anything else bugging you? NATHAN: Just you. DAN: I shoulda seen that one coming. (Deb stops in the doorway. Dan turns to looks at her.) NATHAN: (to Dan's back) Yeah. (Dan walks out and Nathan sits on his bed. Deb walks in.) NATHAN: This doesn't feel like we're getting out, mom. (pause) It feels more like we're staying. (Deb doesn't reply.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE MALL - SUBURBAN FILTH - DAY] (Close-up of a mannequin's ass. It's wearing pants with pinks letters that spell out: 'FILTH'. Pan left to Brooke who stands at the window and smiles. The manager sees Brooke and waves. Brooke smiles widely and enters.) MANAGER: Brooke, you've got a real eye for fashion. Your designs are gonna be a hit(!) BROOKE: (giddy) That is... so great. You have no idea how much I needed good news. So, so, I mean, wh-what, what do I do from here? MANAGER: Well, I think you're scheduled for the afternoon shift tomorrow. BROOKE: (grinning) No, I mean what's next with my clothes! When do I get paid? How much do I get paid and... and do I need to, like, design my own label or put together a hot fashion show or- MANAGER: Brooke, I thought you understood; since you work for the company, any designs and profits that you made for the store belong to the store. (Brooke gapes, uncomprehending.) MANAGER: You signed a waiver when you took the job. BROOKE: ... That doesn't mean I read it. (The manager laughs.) BROOKE: This is not fair! These are my designs! (picks up a red top) I mean, they're mine! I get squat?! MANAGER: No, you get the satisfaction of having designed something exclusively for Suburban Filth, and of course, your ten percent employee discount. (Brooke glares for a beat before turning, throwing the top behind her and walking out.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ROE RESIDENCE - LUCAS' DOOR - DAY] (Pan across to Lucas at his back door, painting black over the red.) PEYTON: (walks up the steps) Painting while angry? That's original. LUCAS: (cattily) Like cutting your hair. (Peyton's amused. Lucas laughs nastily.) PEYTON: I'm guessing you don't wanna talk about it. LUCAS: (beat) Good guess. PEYTON: Well, for what it's worth, Brooke feels awful. LUCAS: To be honest with you, Peyton, right now... that's not worth too much. (continues painting) (Peyton looks away.) PEYTON: OK, I know you're upset. LUCAS: No, (turns to her) not really. (pause) I'm more... disappointed... than I am upset. (goes back to painting) PEYTON: Luke, Brooke made a mistake, OK? Kinda like we did and she forgave us. LUCAS: Yeah, well she has a really funny way of showing it. (pause) But, you know what? She made it perfectly clear that we were non-exclusive. I made the mistake of thinking we were meant to be with each other. (pause) I won't make that mistake again. (Lucas finishes painting the door black.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - CLASSROOM - DAY] (The Basketball team and the cheerleaders are all sat in a classroom. Whitey stands at the board. He has drawn up plans for their first basketball match. Tim leans over to talk to Nathan.) TIM: Hey, dude, (Nathan turns to him) did you hear? A bunch of the guys on the team are gonna get tattoos after school. NATHAN: (confused) Since when? I thought we were just shaving our heads. TIM: Well, yeah,... well you're the first to hear about it but... it was my idea. (Nathan scoffs.) TIM: It's pretty dope, huh? NATHAN: It's stupid. TIM: (laughing) Hell yeah, it is(!) (puts his hand up) It's crazy stupid! (Tim holds his hand there, expecting Nathan to slap it.) WHITEY: Got a question, Smith? (Tim looks for a beat before lowering his hand and turning back to his seat. Nathan follows suit.) (Lucas turns to Peyton.) LUCAS: (whispering) Hey? (Peyton looks at him.) LUCAS: I thought about it... and you're right; (Peyton raises her eyebrows) I'm gonna talk to Brooke. (Peyton nods and smiles. He smiles back.) LUCAS: (looking at the empty seat beside him) Hey, Brooke. PEYTON: OK, you know what? She has never missed a game day so she must be in pretty bad shape. You know, she won't be allowed to cheer in the game tonight. LUCAS: (snarkily) Nothing really to cheer about, anyway. (Peyton squints at him and he turns back.) BEVIN: Oh! (she raises her hand) Oh, old coach guy! (Whitey turns around slowly.) WHITEY: Coach Durham, and shhhh! BEVIN: OK, fine, but um,... WHITEY: But what? (crosses his arms and turns to her) BEVIN: Well, actually, what I was gonna say was, why don't you have Nate cut hard to the strong side, Brain and Screen away on pressure release, and that'll free up Lucas on the wing. WHITEY: I said, (heavily underlines the word 'shhhh' on the board) shhh! (Bevin's smile drops and she looks back down. Whitey frowns and turns to the board.) WHITEY: Well, actually, that's not bad. (Bevin smiles and the bell rings. Everyone stands and gathers their things. Lucas smiles at Peyton.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - CORRIDOR - DAY] (A sign is strung up at the entrance. It reads: 'GO RAVENS CAGERS!'. Nathan and Tim exit the class.) TIM: Dude, do not leave me hanging. Tattoo's after school. (Nathan laughs and Tim walks away. He stops at Haley who's just finished decorating his locker.) HALEY: (steps back) Whaddaya think? (Nathan spares the locker a glance.) NATHAN: I think it's still weird that you're a cheerleader. (She laughs. He touches the plant around the stuck-on basketball hoop.)_ NATHAN: Purple flowers, huh? HALEY: Hmmm. NATHAN: It looks great, Haley. HALEY: So do you? NATHAN: (looks down at his shirt and tie) Yeah, Whitey's new rules. (lifts the tie and inspects it) Ties on game day, run till you puke. HALEY: Hmmm, won't that ruin the tie? (Nathan shrugs and Haley laughs again.) HALEY: Alright, I'm gonna take off. I know you have to focus on the game but this was just, uh, (hold her arms out to her decoration) mandatory. You're gonna do great tonight. NATHAN: We'll see. (Haley slaps his arm before walking off. Nathan opens his locker. Lucas walks to his, which is all pink and girly. He has a pained expression as he turns his back on it.) LUCAS: Oh, uh-uh. (covers his face) (Nathan looks at him and the locker and smirks.) NATHAN: (walking past) Nice locker. (Lucas looks at him briefly. Rachel stops in front of him.) RACHEL: Surprise. Guess who decorated your locker. LUCAS: Let me guess; you or Tim. RACHEL: Well, after our so-called date, I thought you might like it. LUCAS: It's very you. (Peyton comes up between them.) PEYTON: Could be worse - could say dyke! (smiles and leaves) (Lucas groans and all three go their separate ways. The corridor empties and Brooke appears. She looks around, making sure nobody's there before she heads straight to her locker. She opens it and sees everything the Lucas did for her on the first day. His decorations and pictures. She looks away tearfully and slams the locker shut before rushing away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL HIGH - BENCHES - DAY] (Peyton walks to a bench where Haley's sitting.) PEYTON: Hey?! You seen Brooke? (Haley's sitting alone, eating an apple. Peyton sits beside her.) HALEY: Hmmm, just this morning. She was late. PEYTON: Guess late turned into never. HALEY: (distant) What'd she skip? PEYTON: Normally I wouldn't think twice about it but it's the first game day of the season. She lives for this. (Peyton looks around, seeing if she can spot Brooke.) HALEY: Has she talked to Lucas yet? PEYTON: No, but we have to figure out a way to make her. HALEY: We? You want my help now? PEYTON: (smirks) Why so surprised? You are the resident expert on making things better after royally screwing them up. (Haley looks at her for a beat before turning away, disgusted.) PEYTON: (unconvincingly) That was a joke. (Haley's look says it all - she doesn't believe her.) PEYTON: Any ideas? (Haley sighs and thinks.) HALEY: Yeah, there might be one thing. (Peyton's interested.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WXTFI 101.7 - RADIO STATION - DAY] (Dan and Deb are now in the radio station with the same announcer.) RADIO ANNOUNCER: For anyone just tuning in, mayoral candidate, Dan Scott is here with his lovely wife, Deb. Good to see you. (Deb nods.) RADIO ANNOUNCER: Thanks for joining us. Maybe you'd like to, uh, tell our listeners a little about yourselves. DAN: (gloating) Well, I think most people in Tree Hill remember me from my days in basketball. Either that or driving around in their cars courtesy of Dan Scott Motors. (Deb looks away. She can't believe his gall.) DAN: But my platform is simple, Dave. Family values. It all starts at home - with good parenting; loving relationships. (looks at Deb) Deb, sweetie, is there anything you would, uh, you'd like to add? (Dan passes over a piece of paper for her to read from. Deb looks at it before gaping at the announcer. Dan winks at him. The announcer has no idea what's going on.) DEB: Um,... (reads emotionlessly) Dan is everything to me. I trust him with my heart, I trust him with my son? DAN: Right. DEB: And I definitely tr- (can't help laughing) trust him with this town. (The announcer gives Dan a look. Dan looks down.) DEB: (fake voice) There is no better candidate for mayor(!) (drops the paper) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - DAY] (Shot of the end table which has a framed picture of Lucas as a boy and a radio on it. Campaign posters are lying everywhere. The camera slowly zooms out.) DAN: (through the radio) Wow, that was beautiful, Deb. I think I'm gonna cry. KAREN: (annoyed) Me too. RADIO ANNOUNCER: (through the radio) Let's see if we can get- (Karen switches the radio off. The door opens and shuts off-screen. Lucas walks to the couch, lifts the cushion and dumps himself onto it.) KAREN: (gasps) Is that Lucas Scott, star player of the Tree Hill Ravens? (Lucas hugs the cushion and doesn't look at her.) LUCAS: No, how bout, Lucas Scott, star chump of the Tree Hill cheerleaders? KAREN: You wanna talk about it? LUCAS: Not much to talk about. The girl that I thought was the one for me went out of her way to prove that she wasn't. KAREN: The girl being Brooke Davis? LUCAS: Am I that obvious? KAREN: About as obvious as a black door on the side of my house. LUCAS: Sorry about that. KAREN: (beat) Oh, Lucas. Look, it's her loss. There are a ton of girls out there that would be lucky to have you. LUCAS: I'll make sure to tell those girls my mom said so. KAREN: I'm serious. You know, a customer once told me that the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. (She licks the seal of the envelope she's holding. She stops when she realises what she's just said.) KAREN: Oh my god! I just realised what that meant! (gasps and puts a hand to her mouth) Ooooooh my god. I... thought it was more philosophical. You know, get to know them, don't get under them. LUCAS: (disturbed) Mom! KAREN: Ahh, scratch that. (She looks at him and Lucas looks down. Karen moves over to him and pats his arm.) KAREN: I, I know that you're going through a rough time,... but you have the game tonight and basketball always makes you feel better. (Lucas looks at her.) KAREN: Well, that and cake. LUCAS: That was when it was fun. KAREN: Don't let your heart... get in the way of the one thing you love most. (pause) just do your best. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY] (Close-up of a partly eaten toffee cake. Brooke is sitting at the counter and eating it. There's a knock on the door and it opens. Haley and Peyton enter. They stop when they see what Brooke's doing.) PEYTON: (semi seriously) It's gonna be OK, just... just step away from the cake. (Haley laughs.) PEYTON: (amused) You have too much to live for. BROOKE: (mouth full) Like what? HALEY: We missed you at school today. (Peyton and Brooke sit together on the opposite side of the counter.) BROOKE: Couldn't handle it. (pause) You guys, how am I gonna face Lucas if I can't even face the locker he decorated for me? PEYTON: Oh, just tell him how you really feel, Brooke! Nobody in this town deals with their problems head-on. BROOKE: And why would he care? HALEY: Because he cares about you, Brooke, but all he ever hears about is being non-exclusive and all he ever sees is boys on your wall and in your bed and... (smiles kindly) that's not how you spent your summer, Brooke. PEYTON: The real way you spent it is locked away under your bed. (Brooke looks at Peyton briefly.) PEYTON: In the letters you wrote to Lucas. BROOKE: (to Haley) You told her about my letters? PEYTON: I can't believe you didn't tell me. BROOKE: I didn't tell her (points to Haley) she Winona Ryder'ed them out from under the bed. (glares at Haley) PEYTON: OK, alright, not the point. The point is, you need to stop hiding. Just... talk to Lucas. (Brooke scowls, takes some cream off the cake and licks her finger.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE RIVERCOURT - DUSK] (Lucas is on the court by himself, still in his shirt and tie. He gets the ball through the hoop. Dan walks onto the court, clapping.) DAN: Wow, you know, you're really good when you play against, uh,... (looks around) nobody. (Lucas smiles humourlessly and walks away.) DAN: Whoa, where's the fire? LUCAS: (turns back angrily and quickly approaches) What d'ya want, huh?! DAN: How bout a quick game of one-on-one? (holds his hands out) LUCAS: Yeah, I'll pass. DAN: Good answer. (Lucas looks away.) DAN: And that's exactly what I want you to do tonight - pass the ball... to Nathan. LUCAS: (beat) Mental note: Nathan's daddy wants me to pass it to him. (rolls his eyes) Yeah(!) (turns and walks away again) DAN: How's the heart? (Lucas pauses and turns around again.) DAN: Medication slowing you down? LUCAS: Don't worry about it. DAN: Is that what you told Whitey? (Lucas' evasive looks speaks volumes.) DAN: Oh,... you haven't told him, yet. I can see why; (pause) if he knew that one of his players could drop dead at any minute, he wouldn't let him play. (stops at Lucas) Well, I can't see any reason why he'd need to know... as long as you do what I tell you. Pass the ball (smirks) to Nathan. (Dan walks away. Lucas waits for a beat but the anger wins and he throws the ball at the hoop. It hits the board hard.) DAN: (turns back) Oh, missed again! (Dan grins and exits. Lucas fumes.) FADE TO BLACK: [SCENE_BREAK] COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - FRONT DOOR - DAY] (Chris is standing outside Nathan's house. He knocks and waits. Dan opens the door a crack and sticks his head out.) CHRIS: Hey, I'm Ch- DAN: Chris Keller(!) No need to introduce yourself, son. Come on in. (looks around before opening the door wider) (A red glass vase falls down and Dan just about catches.) DAN: Oh(!) (laughs embarrassedly) Little gift for the wife. (Chris frowns for a beat before smiling uncertainly. Dan steps aside to let him in.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - DAY] (Chris is sitting in a chair, watching Dan pour some alcohol.) DAN: You know, it's nice to meet you. I'm practically your biggest fan. CHRIS: You have good taste in music. (Dan walks over with two glasses.) DAN: Music? Uh, no. I'm a fan of how you screwed up my son's marriage. (hands a glass over) You see, you accomplished, with one kiss, what I was trying months to do. (grins) Nice work. CHRIS: (laughs) What can I say? I'm a good kisser. DAN: (studies him) You remind me a lot of myself. (pause) Maybe I know your mother. (Chris looks away and picks up a picture of Dan and Deb together on the beach.) DAN: So, you took Nathan's wife, now whaddaya want? And if you say mine, be my guest. (laughs) CHRIS: Nah,... (looks at the picture) I mean, she's definitely a MILF, (put the picture back) but for now... (puts the glass on the table and stands) I just need the five-hundred dollars Nathan owes me. DAN: Five-hundred dollars. (Chris smiles and shrugs.) DAN: Well, since I'm my son's bank, do you mind telling me what I'm paying for? CHRIS: Haley's studio time - Nathan's idea. I'm helping her record again. (Dan looks at him, annoyed.) CHRIS: Still my biggest fan? (smirks) DAN: I didn't realise I was producing her next album. CHRIS: Actually, I am... but I could see how you'd want to - it's gonna be really good. (Dan smiles, takes some money out of his back pocket and gives it to Chris.) DAN: Make sure you thank me in the liner notes. (Chris takes the money and wordlessly turns away to leave.) DAN: (thinks for a beat) Hey, Chris? (Chris stops but doesn't turn back.) DAN: Before you go, maybe you wanna talk about making some real money. (Chris looks around again, stoically. Dan grins evilly. Cut back to Chris' face.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - LOCKER ROOM - EVENING] (Nathan is at a bench, getting changed. Lucas walks up to his own locker and dumps his bag on a bench before turning to the locker. Nathan looks at him.) NATHAN: Heard about what happened Saturday night. (Lucas turns to him, exasperatedly.) LUCAS: And? NATHAN: (taking his tie off) And if all this stuff about Brooke is gonna make you play any worse, you should just take yourself outta the game right now. (Nathan pulls his tie over his head.) LUCAS: (bangs his bag down, pissed) Thanks for your concern but how bout you mind you own business. NATHAN: The game is my business, alright? And I don't want you screwing it up over some chick. LUCAS: (scoffs) You're one to talk! (steps over the bench to his brother) NATHAN: Yeah, I am. See, my game's gotten better, your game sucks! Fix it. (Lucas glares at Nathan.) LUCAS: Well, your marriage sucks - fix it! (Lucas turns back to his locker.) NATHAN: (beat) I'll tell you what; I'll give you the same brilliant advice you gave me when Chris kissed Haley: (pause) just forgive her, man. She loves you. (Lucas shakes his head.) NATHAN: Doesn't help much, does it? (Nathan unbuttons his shirt and steps to his own locker. Lucas turns back around and bangs the locker door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - THE GYM - EVENING] (The buzzer sounds and the Ravens' mascot runs to the bench. Pan to Mouth at his announcer's table.) MOUTH: Good evening and welcome to the sold-out start of what could be the greatest season ever- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - COUNTER - EVENING] (Close-up of the laptop as it's on the webpage for the Ravens.) MOUTH: (v.o) for the Tree Hill Ravens. (Brooke is watching the webcast. She listens sadly.) MOUTH: (v.o) If you're a fan of Ravens basketball, it's gotta be killing you not to be here tonight. We'll head to the locker room were I'll- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - THE GYM - EVENING] MOUTH: try to get a word with the players before the game. GIGI: (grinning) And I'm gonna hide inside the locker room to get a look at them after. MOUTH: (beat) Gigi Silveri, ladies and gentlemen. (He's not sure what to make of her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RECORDING STUDIO - RECORDING ROOM - EVENING] (Chris is sitting in the studio. The door opens and Haley walks in, in her cheerleading uniform. She's not smiling.) CHRIS: Well, well. (stands) HALEY: Shut up! (picks up her bag and walks back to the door) I can't believe you were with Brooke. CHRIS: Are you jealous? (Haley gives him a look.) CHRIS: I swear, I thought about you the whole time, Haley. (Peyton appears on the other side of the door, in the room beyond. She stops and hears what Chris just said. She walks to the door) HALEY: You're a jerk, Chris! CHRIS: Careful, that's what Brooke said right before we hooked up. (Peyton walks into the room and gets between Haley and Chris.) CHRIS: Hey, what's up, blondie? (Peyton smiles misleadingly before slapping him hard. Chris' head snaps back.) CHRIS: Oh! Hmm. (Haley gapes at Peyton, impressed. They wait for a beat before turning to the door. The both look back once, simultaneously, glaring before exiting. Chris looks away, rubbing his cheek.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PEYTON'S CAR - EVENING] (Shot of Peyton's headlights before the camera pans up to show Peyton driving and Haley sitting in the passenger seat.) HALEY: Thanks for picking me up. PEYTON: Yeah, no problem. You needed a ride, I got to slap Chris; win-win. HALEY: (laughs) I can't believe you did that. (Peyton smiles.) HALEY: Though, sometimes I feel like you wanna slap me. PEYTON: (looks at her a second) Look, I know I've been a bitch. HALEY: You haven't been that bad. PEYTON: (grins) Please, Brooke's been calling me... Peyton Marie Sawyer. (Haley looks at her, confused.) PEYTON: (elaborating) PMS. HALEY: (gets it) Oh! (laughs) PEYTON: Yeah. I'm just,... I'm so tired of everyone leaving. You know, they all have really great reasons but it still hurts. So I guess I've been taking out all my anger on you coz... you're the only one who's come back(!) (Haley smiles.) PEYTON: (pause) Welcome home. HALEY: (gratefully) Thanks. (Peyton nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - BOYS LOCKER ROOM - EVENING] (Lucas walks around the corner in the locker room. He's holding his medicine bottle and looks at one. He swallows it before walking back around where another player is standing. He slips the tub into his coat pocket before shutting the door.) (Nathan is sitting on a bench, getting his ankle wrapped. He knocks fists with the guy before standing and thinking. He reaches into his jersey and pulls out his necklace with his wedding ring hanging off it. He takes it off and looks at the ring. He puts both on the top shelf of his locker and closes the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - CORRIDOR - EVENING] (Chris opens the doors and walks into the school. He looks around, hears laughing and stops; eyes wide.) CHRIS: Nice(!) (Rachel, Bevin and another cheerleader are standing together, laughing.) RACHEL: I don't get it. (Bevin laughs some more.) CHRIS: (delighted) Three cheerleaders. God loves Chris Keller. (He walks to them.) CHRIS: You're Rachel, right? (Rachel looks at him.) CHRIS: You just made my 'to do' list. RACHEL: You're on mine, too. (Chris smiles) RACHEL: Under 'make fun of pathetic old guys combing high schools for girls'. (Chris looks up, his smile's vanished. Bevin laughs.) RACHEL: I don't talk to losers. CHRIS: Oh, you made an exception with Lucas then. (pause) You're the Rachel he's using to make Brooke jealous. (Rachel looks away, caught.) CHRIS: Oh, have fun with that. (He winks at Bevin and walks away.) BEVIN: (star struck) Bye. (waves) (Rachel looks at her accusingly.) BEVIN: (abashed) Sorry. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - BOYS LOCKER ROOM - EVENING] (All of the team are sitting in the locker room, waiting for the game to start. Tim rushes to Nathan, pulls up his shirt and shows his lower back to Nathan.) TIM: Dude, check this out. (Nathan squints and backs away slightly.) NATHAN: Nice tramp-stamp, Tim. TIM: Huh? NATHAN: (laughing) I don't know what's worse: the fact that you got a tattoo above your ass or that it's of a naked baby angel. TIM: It's a cherub! (Nathan laughs.) TIM: Well, what'd you get? NATHAN: (points) Just a shaved head, Tim. That's it. (Whitey walks into the locker room.) WHITEY: (seeing Tim) Put your clothes back on, Smith. TIM: (walking to Whitey and turning to show his back) I was just showing Nathan that I got my number 55 tattooed on my back to support the team, Coach. WHITEY: Oh, well, (bends and picks up a jersey) that's too bad. (throws the jersey at him) Because now you're number zero! (The team laugh and Tim looks down at the jersey.) WHITEY: Right, gather round! (The team complies and moves over to listen to Whitey.) WHITEY: Usually, before the first game of the year, I tell my players to get out there and do your best. I tell the seniors... that this is the last year they'll play as Ravens... so make the most of it. (The camera pans across, showing all the players.) WHITEY: Well, that's all true. (pause) Except this year, there's one difference; when you leave... I'll be leaving too. (The players look at each other.) WHITEY: At the end of this season, I'm... (struggles) retiring. (He smiles tightly. Nathan and Lucas look at each other.) WHITEY: (continuing bravely) Now you boys have worked harder than any team that I've ever coached. You've got the talent and the desire to be the best team I've ever coached. I know it; you know it, now it's time to make everybody else know it. SO I WANT YOU TO GO OUT THERE AND START THIS SEASON LIKE CHAMPIONS BECAUSE THAT IS HOW I INTEND TO END IT! LET'S GO! (The team clap and stand, exiting the locker room. Whitey follows them.) NATHAN: (lagging behind) Hey, (stops Lucas from passing) you know, if you screw us, you screw Whitey too. (Nathan walks out, leaving Lucas there staring at his shoes.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - THE GYM - EVENING] (It's dark with only the spotlights on. The cheerleaders are on the floor, performing their routine before the game. It is instantly obvious that Rachel was the one who made the routine up. Brooke is conspicuous only by her absence.) (The cheerleaders pick their pom-poms and walk to the announcer's table, forming two straight lines. The mascot walks between them first, then the players run on.) MOUTH: Starting for your Tree Hill Ravens; at point guard, number zero, Tim Smith! (Tim runs out and slaps hands with the reserve team who are standing beside the cheerleaders.) MOUTH: At center, number thirty-two, Jabar Kelley! (He does the same.) MOUTH: At power forward, number twelve, Brandon Roth! At shooting guard, co-captain, number three, Lucas Scott! (Slow-motion as Lucas takes his turn running down between the cheerleaders.) MOUTH: And finally, co-captain and last years league high scorer, at small forward, number twenty-three, Nathan Scott. (There's another slow-motion as Nathan runs out onto the court and slaps hands with his fellow team mates - with the exception of Lucas.) MOUTH: And now, to sing our national anthem, straight off his tour; Tree Hill's own... (Mouth's smile falls and he intones dully) Chris Keller. (Chris walks onto the floor and smirks at the screeches he's getting from the female population.) CHRIS: (into a mic) Thank you, Tree Hill. (Nathan and Lucas can be seen in the shot.) CHRIS: (looking at Nathan and Lucas briefly) This goes out to all your girlfriends. (to the crowd) You know who you are. LUCAS: (to Nathan) I hate that guy. (Shot of America's flag as it is dropped, hanging from the ceiling.) CHRIS: #Oh say can you see, By the dawn's early light# [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL HIGH - ENTRANCE - EVENING] (Dan is standing at the entrance to the gym. He looks at his watch, obviously waiting for Deb. She appears, walking down the path.) DAN: (hears her and turns to her) Where the hell have you been? You know we need to make an entrance as a couple! DEB: (uncaring) Oh, I'm sorry, Dan, I was cleaning up shards of glass from the vase that fell off the door and nearly killed me! DAN: (hiding his amusement) Well as long as you're OK. DEB: I'm more than OK. (She turns to him at the entrance to the gym.) DEB: According to the radio, Karen's making quite a come-back in the polls. Apparently, a lot of people think you come across as... egotistical. Imagine that. Maybe she'll win after all. (Deb grins and goes to open the door. Dan grabs her arm, stopping her.) DAN: That vase must have hit you pretty hard. Now stick out your chest and try and look pretty. The public's waiting. (He lets go and practically shoves her towards the door. Deb opens the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - THE GYM - EVENING] (The game's getting underway. The ref blows the whistle.) TIM: (to the opponents) Ah, yeah, it's Tim Time baby! (Lucas walks forward, clapping. He looks sideways and sees Chris standing there. He looks back repeatedly before finally hallucinating and seeing Brooke standing with Chris, kissing him. Chris looks sideways at Lucas and gives him a thumbs-up sign. Lucas straightens and Chris is alone again, shrugging.) (Lucas squints at him.) (The referee blows the whistle and throws the ball into the air. The opposing team gets it first. Lucas finally comes to his senses and starts moving. The opposition makes the first shot easily and Nathan barely moves to block it; Lucas is too late.) NATHAN: (running backwards so that he can talk to Lucas) Hey, quit looking at Keller. We already know he can score. (shoves Lucas) (Tim tosses the ball at Lucas. He shoots but it misses. They run across the court and the other team shoot, miss but get it in the second time round.) (Whitey waves his hand in distaste. Lucas stops running and bends over slightly, breathing hard.) (Fade to the other team getting another basket.) (Fade to Nathan throwing the ball and missing this time.) (The score board shows that the Ravens have scored two points and the opposition have scored seven.) (Nathan dribbles the ball across the court. The camera cuts to slow motion as he jumps and gets the ball through the hoop. The crowd jump up, screaming in delight. Whitey claps.) (Tim throws the ball at Nathan who dodges a player and throws the ball at Lucas. Lucas also gets it through the basket. The cheerleaders cheer.) (Fade to a Ravens player. He throws the ball to Tim who heads straight for the basket, jumps and gets the ball stuck at the side of the hoop. Whitey looks away in distaste.) (Slow motion as the opposition gets two baskets in. Lucas struggles and Mouth notices.) MOUTH: Scott having a little bit of trouble. He's not looking too good right now. GIGI: (chipping in) Oh, he's looking good. (Mouth looks at Gigi who's clueless.) (Cut back to the game where Lucas misses another basket. The scoreboard shows the score's forty-three to twenty-three, with the Ravens trailing.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - BROOKE AND HALEY'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Brooke is lying on her bed with the gauze curtains drawn. She looks over at her vacation wall. She gets up and walks to it. She pulls off every picture except the one of her and Lucas on the beach and walks away from it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - THE GYM - EVENING] (Lucas squints at Chris again. He's chatting to some girls and eating popcorn. Lucas runs between Chris and Nathan who's holding the ball.) LUCAS: I'm open, Nathan, (holds his hands out) ball! (Nathan spares Lucas a glance, turns away, reconsiders and turns back to Lucas.) LUCAS: BALL! (Nathan throws the ball hard. Lucas steps aside and it hits Chris on the head. He groans and falls backwards off his seat.) (Nathan laughs, impressed. Whitey throws his board on the floor, angrily. Lucas turns to look at Chris before slowly turning back to look at Nathan, a huge grin plastered over both their faces.) NATHAN: That's the best pit you've made all night. (Lucas walks back onto the court and Whitey glares at both of them.) (Fade to a close-up of the scoreboard again. The buzzer sounds. The game is over. The score stands: Ravens - thirty-nine; guest - fifty-nine) MOUTH: (v.o) Well, you can forget that undefeated season, folks; the Ravens have lost their first game. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - BOYS LOCKER ROOM - EVENING] (Nathan is leaning against a locker, desolate. Whitey is seen in the doorway. Lucas is also leaning against a locker. The rest of the team are on the benches, all bleak. Whitey walks slowly into the room and straight into his office without looking at any of them.) (Lucas closes his eyes and rests his head back against the door. Clapping is heard and Dan enters, smiling. Lucas isn't looking but shakes his head anyway.) DAN: Well, so much for an undefeated season, huh, ladies? NATHAN: Get outta here, dad. (faces him) This is not your locker room anymore. You should find a job as a janitor. DAN: Sixteen points, Nathan, impressive. The scouts are thrilled, especially the deaf and blind ones. (Nathan looks away, shaking his head.) What a joke! DAN: (to the rest) You're all a joke. (looks at Lucas) And it seems my mistake is the punch line. (Lucas finally looks at him.) NATHAN: You're the punch line, dad. (Nathan begins to walk away but Dan grabs him and throws him against the locker he was leaning on and holds him there. There's another bang and the camera pans to show Whitey who's just emerged from his office.) WHITEY: (scowling deeply) Get outta here, Danny (Whitey lifts the baseball bat he's holding.) DAN: Just a little father-son chat, Whitey. WHITEY: You get outta here right now before they have to carry you out. (There's a beat. Lucas looks between Dan and Whitey. Dan looks at the bat, reconsiders and lets go of his son. He straightens Nathan's jacket.) DAN: Oh and one. (winks at Whitey) Keep up the good work. (smiles and walks out) (Lucas shakes his head again.) WHITEY: (to the team) Practice, 5am sharp. Now hit the showers, you guys stink! (Whitey walks out. Mouth looks on, a frown on his face. The team take their jerseys off and get cleaned up.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - THE GYM - EVENING] (Brooke is standing at the entrance to the gym and sighs. Lucas walks in and sees her. Rachel runs up behind him.) RACHEL: Luke! (She smiles and then sees that Lucas is looking at Brooke. She looks between them.) LUCAS: Hey, can I get a ride? RACHEL: Yeah, let's go. (Lucas and Rachel walk away, leaving Brooke standing there, not knowing what to do. She nods, getting it.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RACHEL'S CAR - THE ROAD - EVENING] (Lucas is sitting next to Rachel.) RACHEL: Let me be the first to say; great game. (Lucas looks at her) I own the first, right? Because, I mean, wow, you guys really sucked. LUCAS: My head wasn't in it. RACHEL: No, I know. It was in Brooke's bedroom - watching her ride Chris Keller. (Lucas nods and sighs. Rachel nods along.) LUCAS: You heard about that. RACHEL: I'm not one of those people who likes to say 'I told you so', Lucas. LUCAS: (disbelieving) Yeah. RACHEL: Who'm I kidding, I love it. I told you. (Lucas looks down.) RACHEL: You need to move on, Lucas. LUCAS: To what, Rachel, you? (Rachel rolls her eyes and stops the car.) RACHEL: To whatever makes you happy but do it now. Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain. Take advantage of what's right in front of you. LUCAS: (scoffs) I'm not hooking up with you tonight, Rachel. RACHEL: (annoyed) That is not even what I'm talking about! And it's me who's not hooking up with you... and it's also me who's not gonna be used to make Brooke jealous anymore. LUCAS: W-wha- RACHEL: I'm better than that, and I know it. (pause) And you can figure it out too, on your long walk home. LUCAS: Look, Rachel, come on. RACHEL: Out you go. (Lucas scoffs again and grabs the door handle. When Rachel just glares at him determinedly, he opens the door and steps out. He shuts the door and looks at her.) RACHEL: See ya at school. (She drives away and leaves Lucas standing there, in pitch dark, with only his legs to get him home. He grins disbelievingly, throws his arms up and begins walking.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH - THE GYM - EVENING] (Brooke is sitting on the bleachers, amidst the mess of rubbish. The gym is empty. Peyton walks up to her.) PEYTON: (carefully) Now, that doesn't look like the face of someone who had a good talk with Lucas. BROOKE: Then it's a fitting face for me. PEYTON: (smiles) It didn't go well? BROOKE: It didn't go. He left with Rachel. PEYTON: I'm sorry, Brooke. (pats her good-heartedly) BROOKE: Why am I like this, Peyton? How come I only realise what I want when I don't have it anymore? PEYTON: Lucas didn't realise what he had when you two were together. People are just... I mean, they're like that sometimes. BROOKE: Well, Rachel's not.ow come How come She knew she wanted Lucas and she got him! She's probably gonna take my squad from me, too. PEYTON: No. Hey, nobody can take anything from you unless you let them. BROOKE: Really? Tell that to the thieves at Suburban Filth. PEYTON: (grins) Yeah, about that,... let's go see our filthy friends at the mall. BROOKE: No way(!) Those are the last people I wanna talk to right now. PEYTON: (pats her leg) Not exactly what I had in mind. (Peyton grabs Brooke's hand and pulls her from the gym.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL HIGH - ENTRANCE - EVENING] (Haley is leaning against the wall next to the door, waiting. It opens and Nathan walks out. She pushes herself from the wall and faces him. He looks at her.) HALEY: Hey. You did a good job tonight. NATHAN: What game were you watching? (Haley laughs) HALEY: The game where you had the entire team guarding you and you still made, like, thirty points. NATHAN: Sixteen, Hales. (laughs) The whole team only had thirty-nine. HALEY: Well, it's almost half. Plus, I gave you more coz your shots were really hard. That should totally be a rule! (laughs) NATHAN: It doesn't work that way. HALEY: Well, it should. NATHAN: (sincerely) Thank you. (Haley doesn't answer) Did you wait out here for me? HALEY: Yeah. I-I just wanted to make sure you were OK. (Haley scrutinises him when he doesn't respond.) HALEY: Are you? NATHAN: Not really, but, uh,... I do this thing when I play like crap... where I... walk home alone and try to let go of it all on the way. HALEY: (nods) OK. Call me later if you wanna... talk or... (Nathan nods. Haley laughs again.) HALEY: OK. (They go their separate ways. Haley's phone starts to ring. She stops and pulls it out. She flips it open and sees that it's Nathan calling her. She smiles and turns around to see that Nathan's also stopped and has his phone to his ear.) (Haley shows his the phone and they but shut theirs. Haley laughs and walks to him. They walk off together.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE MALL - SUBURBAN FILTH - EVENING] (Peyton and Brooke walk into the shop with white sacks. They approach the place where her clothes are and stuff the sacks with all of Brooke's clothes. The manager spots them and practically charges.) MANAGER: Hey, whaddaya think you're doing?! (She tries to pull the clothes from Peyton's grasp but Peyton's too quick and strong.) BROOKE: Taking my clothes back. You can keep the naked mannequins. MANAGER: That's stealing! BROOKE: Oh, really, like kinda what you did to me. Just think of it as me getting my ten percent discount, ten times in a row. PEYTON: (nods) Nice math. (They wave and run out of the shop. The alarms go off. The manager looks at the empty table.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - FRONT DOOR - EVENING] (There's a knock on the front door and Karen opens it. Mouth is standing there.) MOUTH: Hi, mayor Roe. (smiles) KAREN: (laughs) You might be the only person who will ever call me that. MOUTH: I wouldn't be so sure. (He holds up his phone and presses play. It shows Dan viciously shoving Nathan against the lockers. Karen gapes and walks forward.) WHITEY: (recording) Get outta here, Danny. MOUTH: Not very mayoral, is it? (Karen looks at Mouth with new-found respect.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE RIVERCOURT - THE RIVER - EVENING] (Lucas stands on some rocks, looking out at the river.) LUCAS: (v.o) Robert Louis Stevenson wrote: 'you can not run away from weakness; (Lucas takes his medication out and looks at it. Close-up of the tub.) LUCAS: (v.o) you must fight it out... or perish. (Lucas grits his teeth and closes his fingers around the tub.) LUCAS: (v.o) And if that be so,... (He throws the tub into the river.) LUCAS: (v.o) why not now,... and where you stand?' (Lucas looks out over the city for a beat before turning around and walking away. There's a close-up of the medication as it topples over and sinks.)	Plan: A: the town; Q: Who is getting ready for the Ravens' first basketball game? A: heart; Q: Along with his head, what is Lucas worried about? A: Nathan; Q: Who accuses Lucas of being the Ravens' weak link? A: Peyton; Q: Who and Haley mend fences to support Brooke? A: Brooke; Q: Who does Peyton and Haley support in their time of need? A: Dan; Q: Who resorts to a smear campaign when the mayoral race tightens? A: Flogging Molly; Q: What band did the episode "Mayoral Race" get its name from? Summary: As the town readies for the Ravens' first basketball game, Lucas worries that his head and heart aren't in it. Nathan accuses Lucas of being the Ravens' weak link. Peyton and Haley mend fences to support Brooke in her time of need. When the mayoral race tightens, Dan resorts to a smear campaign. This episode is named after a song by Flogging Molly .
(Man trills tongue, hums) ♪ I found me a woman ♪ ♪ But she stands too tall ♪ ♪ I give her every inch of my dream ♪ ♪ 'Cause it's too small ♪ ♪ No early morning... ♪ Lucca: Alicia. This shouldn't take more than 15 minutes, right, Alicia? You accept the guilty plea, you don't see more than a day of jail time, and it's expunged from your record in 24 months. Yes. Two years and a day of community service, and... you know. Schakowsky: Next... What's wrong with you? This guy means a lot of money. He wants to hear it from you, not me. I know, I'm just taking a minute to catch up, that's all. Hey, Bernie. What are you doing upstairs? Seeing how the other half lives. Hi, Alicia. Bernie. We really miss you downstairs. Schakowsky: thousand each. Enjoy. (Gavel slams) There's my guys. What's this? Uh, the overflow from downstairs, Your Honor. Male 128, 29, 30. Okay, got it. You understand you are pleading guilty, sir? Man: Yes, Your Honor, I understand. Schakowsky: Six months probation. (Gavel slams) Next. What do you have? Man 2: Your Honor, we have Frank Lister. (Mouthing) He is charged with disorderly conduct. This is his second offense. Schakowsky: $1,500. (Gavel slams) Do we know that guy? Next defendant. Which guy? The convict in the middle. He just whispered, "Help me." Schakowsky: Fine. Okay, let's handle the overflow. Male 128, let's go. Disorderly conduct. Do we have a plea here? Bukovitz: Uh, we've already pled not guilty, Your Honor. We're ready to go to trial. Schakowsky: Good. Mr. ASA? Asa: Almost, Your Honor. We're still trying to locate a witness. We ask for a continuance. How long do you need? Asa: Two months should do it. Schakowsky: Good. Continuance granted. We'll go to trial April 15. (Gavel slams) Schakowsky: Sheriff, please escort the defendant back to lockup. (Buzzing) You were in bond court eight months ago. Yes. You were my second client. You... you've been in prison all this time? Yes. But it was just a disorderly charge. I know. With $150,000 bail. I couldn't afford it. But that was to punish me, not you. Didn't your case get called? Three times. The prosecutor keeps needing to find a witness. Didn't Bernie ask for a speedy trial any of those three times? No, he's new, he wasn't my lawyer. You've had three different lawyers? Four with you. (Door opens) What the hell is going on here? What's your name? Clayton Riggs. I'm Alicia Florrick. Yeah, and I'm Bernie. Let's go, Alicia. Visiting hours are over. You want my help? Bukovitz: Alicia, stop talking to my client. Sir, if you want my help, you can switch lawyers. Bukovitz: Alicia, I need you to get the hell out. Alicia: He's been in jail for eight months. He lost his job, his wife. His son is with child services. And you want to do what for him? Alicia: Get him out. Schakowsky is never gonna change the trial date, you know that. He will if we sue him. Judges have immunity. Not if they knowingly violate a defendant's civil rights. Is this about getting back at Schakowsky? No. No. Then is this to assuage your guilty conscience? This is about getting a man who has been unlawfully imprisoned for eight months out of jail so he can be with his kid. (Knocking on door) And you're doing this pro bono. It's civil. We'll take 20% of the $1.3 million. No. Because there'll never be $1.3 million. Oh, hi. Hi. You're back. I thought you were gone for another few months. Yeah, I didn't like it. (Chuckles) Can I come in? Yeah, sorry. See my hat? "Take a byte out of Silicon Valley." I do. And... I got you oven mitts. (Chuckles) Thank you. Uh, well, you... you have any work? Can you work? I can. How much? $20 raise. Um, can I talk to my partner about it? Sure, yeah. Give me a call. Okay, I will. Jason. I'm glad you're back. (Chuckling): Okay. Hey, it's Jason Crouse. I'm back in Chicago. You need anything? Yes, as a matter of fact, right now. What's going on there, a gang war? (Chuckles) Worse, Illinois Park College is trying to close down its student newspaper. Ah, so a big case. The daughter of a client, $33 million a year in billings. On my way. Thank you, Ms. Lockhart. Imogen. (Chuckles) I keep thinking of you as a perpetual 14-year-old. Yeah, my mom does, too. Diane: How are you holding up in here? This is not what I expected. Imogen: Yeah, it's weird to be the most hated person on campus. Diane: Just like your mother. Man: It's hate speech, and this campus is supposed to be a safe space. It's an editorial, it's not arguing anything hateful. You called the administrators "mindless lemmings... about to fall off the cliff of fascism." Imogen: Yes, because you're thinking of divesting from Israel and requiring stamps on all products made by Israelis in the West Bank. I wrote an editorial about it, that's all. I understand why you don't like it, but closing down the paper... The fact that the school is willing to stand up for oppressed populations... it's why a lot of us chose to come here. Um, Dean Randolph, if I may. Oh, yes, you're the lawyer, here to speak for Ms. Stowe, yes. That's right. We understand that Illinois Park College is a private institution and not governed by the First Amendment, but, uh, you are governed by your student handbook, a binding legal contract. And the handbook lists "freedom from persecution" as the school's primary commitment. And I think it's hard to argue that a threat to defund the school newspaper is anything but persecution. Randolph: Oh, no, the move to defund the paper is not a sword, but a shield... to protect the safe space Gary's talking about. Oh, well, the handbook also says the school promotes "tolerance of diverse viewpoints." Ms. Stowe clearly has a diverse viewpoint and chose to... I helped write that handbook, ma'am, and I can tell you we did not have your interpretation in mind. We meant to protect the viewpoints of diverse people. The people, themselves. Not the viewpoints. I, um... (Chuckles) Before I, um... take issue with that idea, it is a well-established legal principle that a party to a contract does not also get to interpret that contr... I'm sure, but this is not a court of law, it's a school. But you should realize that any university... public or private... must stand for basic notions of fairness. And that is what we are here to do: enforce progressive notions of fairness. So why don't we at least take a preliminary vote, see where we're at. All those in favor of defunding the Courier for the current school year. (Excited chattering) (Whooping) So is that it? No, actually. This handbook guarantees your right to take your grievances to arbitration. Do you want to? [SCENE_BREAK] Alicia. Good. Hi. Hello. Thanks for dropping by. I need to say it again. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for erasing the message. Like I said, a day hasn't passed when I haven't... What did it say? What? The voice mail... what did it say? What I told you before. I want to know... everything he said, word for word. Alicia, it's been six years, I'm not sure... And a day hasn't passed that you haven't thought about it, so... what did it say? "You want to know what my plan is? My plan is that I love you." And then he said something about Georgetown. What about Georgetown? How he'd always loved you, ever since Georgetown. What else? Don't stop. Alicia, I don't think this is a good idea. I want to know it all. I want to know every single word he said. You're torturing yourself. Which is my right. He said he would meet you anywhere, and you can make a plan then. Did he mention a place? No. A time? No. Is that important? What else? Just that if this didn't make sense to you, to ignore him, ignore the message... and things will go on as usual. So when I didn't respond, he thought I got the message... and thinks... we just... we went back to usual? Yes, I guess. [SCENE_BREAK] Are you out of your tiny little mind, Mrs. Florrick? You don't need to say "little" when you say "tiny." One or the other will do. You're suing me? You're suing a sitting judge? Do you understand the meaning of professional suicide? I know the meaning of a judge who let an innocent man sit in prison for eight months with a bail amount... Did you miss the day in law school where they taught the concept of judicial immunity? That protects you from being sued for what you did professionally, not personally. This crusade is gonna cost you. It's gonna cost you so much. Shall we get that down on tape, Your Honor? Your ex parte threats? I didn't think so. See you in court! [SCENE_BREAK] Tracy: You can't second-guess agents of the judiciary, Your Honor. As you yourself know, judges need wide-ranging discretion in order to do their jobs and not worry about taking an unpopular stance or making an honest mistake. Discretion, yes, but it can't be unlimited. Judicial immunity has to be unlimited. Alicia: Yes, but we are filing a civil rights claim under 42 U.S.C. 1983. Tracy: Going after the judge personally is merely an end-around... No. We are holding Don Schakowsky accountable as an individual for violating Mr. Riggs' Sixth Amendment right to a speedy trial and Eighth Amendment freedom from cruel and unusual punishment. He exceeded his authority, so he has to answer to this personally. Your Honor, this is a direct attack on the foundation of an independent judiciary. Imagine that your decision here, in this case, could be subject to a suit. It would be chaos. Exactly. Mrs. Florrick may like or dislike the way His Honor Schakowsky does his job. But she does not have the right to veto it. We're not asking for a veto, Your Honor. This man has been held in prison for eight months, his bail set at $150,000. [SCENE_BREAK] What did he do? Lucca: The charge is disorderly conduct. $150,000 for disorderly conduct? Lucca: Yes, Your Honor. Three men knocked him down coming out of a concert and stole his wallet. When the police arrived, they arrested him, too. He was the victim, not the perpetrator. Tracy: That isn't proven yet. Yes, because Schakowsky... His Honor Schakowsky. His Honor Schakowsky has delayed trial three times. Three times, Your Honor. And eight months later, our client is still in prison. He lost his job, his wife divorced him, and his eight-year-old child has been taken from his home. That is unjust. Tracy: We ask that you rule on my client's immunity, Your Honor. There is no suit here if my client is found immune. I would agree. Thank you, Your Honor. No, I would agree that, from all appearances, Mr. Riggs has had his civil rights violated, but the question is whether His Honor Schakowsky did so knowingly. If he did, his immunity is stripped. The issue here concerns the contractual language in the handbook? Actually, the issue is free speech... Yeah, and the idea of original intent. Thank you. Uh, we'll all get a lot further if we take this one at a time. Ms. Reed? Yes, Mr. Arbitrator, thank you. Geoffrey, please. Now, you claim the handbook permits the school to defund its newspaper? Yes. Above all, Illinois Park is committed to protecting individual liberty. And Ms. Stowe's editorial failed to take seriously the life experiences not just of the Palestinian people, but of individuals on Park's very campus. I wouldn't expect a school like Park... or truthfully, any university... to use the fact that it's privately funded to cut off debate about how it treats its students. Although, technically, it can. Isn't the school the publisher here? Yes, Geoffrey, it is. Jason: You can't win this case. I know. Not with that argument. I know. It was a nice try, though. What do you mean, not with that argument? Is there another argument? I came in here, and this campus is like a city. They've got their own campus police, they've got medical facilities, food. They have their own power plant, did you know that? I didn't. But I'm not sure... Have you heard of Evans v. Newton? "State actor"? Yeah. Who are you? (Chuckles) Just your friendly neighborhood investigator. No, that's a deep backwater of the law. Where did you get that? I dabble a bit now and then. What do I have to do to get you to come and work for us? I am working for you. No, in an office. Full time. With a desk. And lunches brought in. I don't like offices. Then without an office. I don't know. Make me an offer. After you pled "not guilty," Clayton, what happened then? The judge slapped me with a six-figure bail. Alicia: And after arraignment, did you appear before Judge Schakowsky again? Yeah. Every couple months, they'd stick me in the van, bring me over. I'd be all ready for the trial, and then the prosecutor'd ask for more time. Alicia: And the judge gave it? Clayton: He never even blinked. Alicia: Even though the prosecutor was delaying to find the same witness? Clayton: Yes. Tracy: Isn't it true, Mr. Riggs, that this wasn't your first criminal offense? Objection. Mr. Riggs' past is irrelevant to Schakowsky's immunity. Tracy: Goes to the issue of why Judge Schakowsky set bail so high. Mata: Overruled. Tracy: In fact, didn't the judge in that weapons case have to issue a bench warrant because you missed a court appearance? That was a few years ago. I was young and dumb. I turned myself in and I didn't screw up again. Didn't you agree to each of the three continuances in your case? No. I never agreed. Tracy: Really? Because I have transcripts of all three hearings, and every one of them clearly notes: "continuance by agreement." Diane: In your brochure for the school, you write... "Park intends to be a city within a city. A student can shop, dine, and even go to a movie without setting foot off the campus." Is that true? Indeed, Park is a good school... an excellent one, in fact. Thanks for pointing that out. But by taking over these public functions, Park has effectively become a "state actor" and should be treated like a public school. Hasn't it? That is a reach. Not according to the Supreme Court. Evans v. Newton, Marsh v. Alabama. Martha: If I'm not mistaken, those cases are about company towns... Yes, and that's exactly what Park has become. A state actor. You're saying, the more the college takes on governmental responsibilities, the more it can be treated like an arm of the government. Yes. But I'm not saying that, the Supreme Court is. In which case the First Amendment would apply. Yes, and Park cannot censor its paper. Geoffrey, please... Hang on. Lucca: Mr. Bukovitz, how many times have you appeared before Judge Schakowsky? Lots. Did Judge Schakowsky ever use his position to influence your representation of a client? I don't even know what that means. Lucca: Did he ever yell to intimidate you? Did he ever badger you to accept a plea deal? No. You know you're under oath, Mr. Bukovitz? I-I do, Ms. Quinn, but I also know Schakowsky is tough. He wants to move fast. But bond court requires it. Hmm. What does "tax" mean? What? Lucca: Tax. Not tax as in income tax. But what does it mean when Schakowsky taxes you? On June 18 of last year, did you tell me that Schakowsky taxed you? I-I don't remember. Lucca: There were three other witnesses. I have the affidavits. Look. Sometimes... and I mean sometimes... Schakowsky flies off the handle and says things that I'm sure he doesn't mean, like he'll tax your client. Meaning...? Meaning he'll raise the bond amount. But it's very rare. Lucca: And what did he raise the bond to the time he taxed you? [SCENE_BREAK] Lucca: Thank you, Mr. Bukovitz. Let me take the cross. It's a bad idea, Your Honor. Not with this witness. Trust me. Your Honor. Is Judge Schakowsky intending to question? I am, actually. If Your Honor doesn't mind. I don't, but I imagine you know all the reasons not to. Schakowsky: I do. So I defer to your better judgment. Hi. Hi. (Clears throat) Have you ever practiced in front of Judge Falcone? Or Judge Marc? I... yes, a few times. If you checked the clerk of the court's annual report, you'd see they set bail, on average, about ten percent higher than I do. Objection, he's testifying. Could you rephrase, Your Honor? With pleasure. Did you know they set bail, on average, about ten percent higher than I did? Your Honor, these are very different cases. Mata: Mrs. Florrick. They were felonies and... Please don't interrupt. Schakowsky: Thank you. Did Mrs. Florrick ever argue that I hurried her too much in court? Objection, relevance. Schakowsky: It puts the motive of the plaintiff in context, Your Honor. Mata: I'll allow it. Bukovitz: Yes, she did argue that. Did you ever think I hurried you too much in court? No. Did you ever think I set bail too high? Bukovitz: No. Schakowsky: Did you ever think I badgered the lawyers or their clients? No. Did you ever observe me infringing on the civil rights of anyone? No. Schakowsky: Thank you, Mr. Bukovitz. Your Honor, I also have affidavits. They're from dozens of lawyers in my court supporting Mr. Bukovitz's observations. Mata: Okay, thank you. I don't need to hear any more here. There's evidence that Judge Schakowsky is busy. Perhaps even brusque. But not that he exceeded his authority. In which case, his immunity should remain intact. The motion to dismiss is granted. (Gavel thuds) [SCENE_BREAK] (Indistinct chatter, music playing) Hey. Hey. How was Silicon Valley? (Sighs) It was warm. Hmm. I was surprised you were back. Why didn't you call? I came by. Alicia didn't tell you? No. Huh. We need you on a case. Are you sure? I think Alicia was worried about the money. What's the money? $20 raise. She was gonna check with you about it. What did you do to her? No. Uh-uh. I was in California. Come on, you screwed with her head. No, I didn't. You did your smile thing. Your bedroom eyes B.S. "Oh, I'm just a guy's guy. I don't know what I do to women." Lucca, look at me. I didn't do a thing. Seriously. (Knocking at door) Bernie? What's up? Clayton Riggs still wants to sue for his imprisonment. I know. We're revising our strategy with Schakowsky. We already did. "We already did"? What does that mean? Clayton and me. I met with him after you left court. I signed him as a client. You snaked him? Yes. We're also suing you for malpractice. Ms. Lockhart has argued that Illinois Park is a state actor. We don't agree with this characterization but think it's irrelevant. Even in public colleges, students don't have unfettered rights of expression. Nothing my client has done rises to a level of... "Schools are allowed to prohibit any expression that creates material and substantial disruptions in school activities or invades the rights of others." And do you have any evidence of such invasion or disruption? Martha: Mr. Binazir, you requested the school boycott Israeli goods from the settlements? Yes. Endorsing them is endorsing a decades-long occupation that has led to thousands of deaths. And how did you feel when the school decided to boycott the products? I felt heard and respected. And how did you feel when Ms. Stowe published her editorial? Under attack, disrespected, unsafe. Here's what I don't understand, Mr. Binazir. You're on a politically engaged campus. How is this controversy different from all the others? Black Lives Matter? The Iraq War? It's never got physical before. Uh, my roommate was pushed to the ground and stepped on just trying to get to class. Okay, got it. Ms. Lockhart? Diane: Ms. Stowe, was it your intent to disrupt student activities? Not at all. Was it your intent to infringe on the rights of other students? No, I was just speaking my mind, trying to engage them. It's important for someone to present a contrary viewpoint. At any cost? No. But to be fair, the disruption Saum is describing was temporary. People are already settling down. And in a few days, they'll be on to the next crusade. But you won't, because the only permanent disruption here is leaving the school without a freely functioning newspaper. Alicia: I did not commit malpractice. It's not about you, it's about a payday. A $1.2 million payday. What's our malpractice cap? [SCENE_BREAK] Oh, God. It was all we could afford. So we fight. What do they have? I don't know. We should put an investigator on it. Should I call Jason? I don't know. He's probably too expensive. We can probably talk him down. I met him last night. Why? He's a friend. How close a friend? Seriously? Are you gonna hate the whole world right now? What did he say last night? He said you were gonna talk to me about his raise. I think we were both surprised that you hadn't talked to me. Well, there was a lot going on. A lot that would've been alleviated by having an investigator. What's going on, partner? Would you like to talk? I don't know anymore. Do you want me to talk? I was in love. He died. I found out he left me a message that he loved me, but I didn't get it. Now I'm sick to death of... everything. This apartment. This laundry. The fact that things get dirty. The law. Just... standing here. Sometimes I swear I just want to go into my bedroom, pull the covers over my head, and never do anything ever again. I'm drinking like I never have before. And all I want to do is have another one. And then everything just gets swallowed up by more disgust. I'm not built to be an unhappy person. I like laughing. I laugh like a banshee at videos on YouTube. And then I just sit here alone in this stupid little apartment... wondering what the hell happened to my life. Was it all about having two kids... who I don't even know if I like anymore... and just shoving them off to be someone important? Seriously, was that the point?! I just... (Crying): I-I hurt. And I-I-I... I want it over! I just want it to end! I just... I was loved. And it's... over, over! So why am I doing this?! (Alicia crying) Alicia... you are here because I need you here. I don't like people. But I like you. I don't even think I like my brother. (Laughs) He bothers me. I have no friends. I'm 30 years old and I don't... have a single friend. But I want to be your friend. I mean, do you have a ring or something? I'll commit. Because that's the one thing you can choose. Me... here wanting to be your friend. Everything else is just handed to you. All you have to do is say I'm willing. No, I'm-I'm serious. You have to say it. (Laughs) (Clears throat) I'm-I'm willing. Good. Now, I have to ask you this. Do you have any guns in this apartment? (Laughing) No. Good. 'Cause you scared me there for a minute. You're gonna have to testify. I know. But you're gonna need another lawyer. Who? Cary Agos, Your Honor, representing Alicia Florrick in this matter. Cary Agos, Your Honor, representing Alicia Florrick in this matter. So the plaintiff is now the defendant. A witness is now Mr. Riggs' attorney. There seems to be a round of musical chairs while I wasn't looking. Yes, Your Honor, I spoke to Clayton, and he wants to sue his lawyer, Mrs. Florrick. And I guess you, Mrs. Florrick, you would move for dismissal? Cary: Yes, we would, Your Honor. Okay, this is exciting. Let's go. Before the music stops and we're all in different chairs. Who knows? I may be the plaintiff next. Bukovitz: So, Clayton, did Mrs. Florrick ever take the time to consult with you about your plea? Maybe 15 seconds. Your bail? The judge set it. She tried to say something, then she got nervous. She didn't try to slow the proceedings down or explain to you what was happening and what your options were? No. No more questions, Your Honor. Your current lawyer, Bernie Bukovitz, he isn't actually your new lawyer, is he? What do you mean? He represented you in front of Judge Schakowsky before. Oh, yeah, right. He was my fourth lawyer. Cary: And he didn't help you out any more than Alicia Florrick did, did he? No. Cary: I'm sure everyone has sympathy for you, Mr. Riggs. But isn't this really a case of bad luck? And you just wanting to... as you said to Mrs. Florrick... sue somebody? I just want to get out. Schakowsky: Yes, Mrs. Florrick started as a bond lawyer in my court. And did you have an opinion about her professionalism of lack thereof? Objection... calls for a conclusion. (Quietly): Expert witness. Your Honor, the judge is an expert witness. He's allowed to express his opinion. Sustained. You may answer. Schakowsky: Yes, Mrs. Florrick did not demonstrate the duty of care I would expect. Bukovitz: And if she had? If she had informed me promptly and efficiently, I might've had a better context to set Mr. Riggs' bail. Bukovitz: Should you have done more to try to pull that information out of her? Schakowsky: My role is to adjudicate. Not advocate. All right, well, I went through the transcripts from Schakowsky's courtroom, looking for abuses, looking for any mention of taxing lawyers. And? Nothing. Not a single mention of taxing. He always covers the microphone when he says it. Yep, that's kind of what I figured. So, what, we're screwed? No. I talked to his courtroom reporter. She hears everything. Darla. A very nice lady. She goes to the track every weekend. It turns out Schakowsky talks really fast, so she started recording him so she could get every word. And you have the tapes? I do. I wasn't myself earlier. Things were swirling around in my head. And now they're not? Well, now they're in perspective. Good. Perspective is good. I just, I didn't want you to think that... Here's the thing, Alicia. Whenever you worry about what I might be thinking, or you worry that I'm upset about what you're thinking, just know that... I'm fine. Even when I'm not fine, I'm really fine. I got to go. [SCENE_BREAK] Are you still fine? Yeah. Cary: Do you remember when Mr. Bukovitz mentioned that you taxed attorneys, Your Honor? I do. Is that a term you regularly use? Only when discussing my income. (Chuckles) Cary: But not in the context of punishing an attorney for not doing what you want. No. Not that I recall. Good. Then maybe this will refresh your recollection. Schakowsky: I simply want a plea, guilty or not guilty. Man: Uh, I-I need a moment to actually confer with my... Objection! You're a witness, you can't object. Schakowsky: I already warned you. Objection, this is hearsay. There's no foundation. Cary: We have an affidavit from the person who recorded this audio. Man: Yeah, I understand, if I could just... Schakowsky: I'm taxing you and your... None of that matters. I did not consent to being recorded. Two-party consent isn't required. Standard two-party consent isn't required but mine is. That was recorded in my courtroom where I forbid the use of recording devices. It is the equivalent of you being recorded right now in your court. I agree, this tape is inadmissible. Your Honor, that is completely self-serving. No, Mrs. Florrick, this is a matter of respect. The tapes are excluded. Martha: Dean Randolph, does the student handbook say, "Park is dedicated to empowering students by encouraging autonomy and the development of personal responsibility"? It does. And did the student body demonstrate this responsibility in their reaction to Ms. Stowe's editorial? Oh, yes, they're the ones who petitioned the student council to have Ms. Stowe removed and the paper defunded. This was entirely a student body move? Yes. Thank you, Dean. Do you agree with the way the students handled Imogen's op-ed? I do. And if you didn't? Well, if the council voted one way or the other, I'd respect it. Part of learning how to make decisions is learning how to live with poor decisions. Diane: Last Halloween, you disciplined a student for wearing a "Caitlyn" costume, which you said made fun of trans students. You did, not the student council. Well, no one brought a petition to the student council, but that didn't mean that the... Yes, but before the council acts, after it acts, whether it acts at all, you do. The final responsibility rests with the adult faculty, not the students. Martha: If we could just look at chapter three of the student handbook... I think we've all heard enough about the handbook, Ms. Reed. Ms. Lockhart is right. The administration is really still in charge, and since we're considering them state actors, they can't censor the newspaper. The defunding of the student paper is hereby reversed. Have a nice day, everyone. We're adjourned. Every attorney who comes to bond court has a learning curve, but Mrs. Florrick's curve wasn't about being a good advocate. What do you mean? Well, she knew her way around a courtroom. Judge Schakowsky liked to call her Marie Antoinette, but she wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty or ask for help when she needed it. Cary: So what kind of learning curve was she on? Figuring out how to deal with Schakowsky. Cary: Thank you. Bukovitz: So you're saying Mrs. Florrick was as diligent as any other lawyer in bond court? Yes, Bernie, I am saying that. Even though she had all sorts of other obligations? I mean, wife of a governor who was running for president. I think she handled it with aplomb. Even though she missed a whole morning at bond court? 18 cases we had to cover, so she could tape an episode of Mama's Homespun Cooking. Lucca: I'm not saying she didn't have to make trade-offs. Bukovitz: Trade-offs are one thing, but what about the time you had to rush out of Judge Schakowsky's court to cover a probate case of hers? That was because of you, Bernie. Because you didn't show up. N-N-No, it wasn't my day. Lucca: It was your day... Bukovitz: You had given me... Mata: Okay, thank you. Thank you! Mata: Any more questions, Counselor? Just one more. Didn't you tell Don Weingarten, another bond attorney, that you feel sorry for anyone who gets Alicia Florrick as an attorney? I did. But I don't believe that anymore. I wouldn't be her law partner if I did. (Knocking on door) You did end up with Will. You act like I prevented the love affair of the ages, but you two did end up together, and I did not keep you from doing that. Yes, I know I erased it, and I've already apologized. And maybe you would have had another three months together, but that would have had no impact on what happened to Will, none. You can't control fate. Just like I can't tell if I walked under that tree and not this one, uh, the branch wouldn't break off and kill me. And one more thing. It was hard for me to apologize. I never do that. And I never confess to anything. But I did to you. Because I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've never been more sorry about anything in my life. Okay, Eli. You're forgiven. (Sighs) Really? Yes. I'll talk to you later, okay? [SCENE_BREAK] So what do you think? There's not enough here for malpractice. He'll sustain our motion to dismiss. And if he doesn't? We sit down and offer to settle. Bailiff: All rise. I find there is enough here to go to trial. The motion to dismiss is denied. (Gavel slams) Bukovitz: $1.5 million. Oh, come on. Bernie, you know how this works. You're never getting $1.5 million in a verdict, and you're never getting $1.5 million from us. So what can you accept? $1.5 million. And I disagree that I won't get it at trial. I might even get more. You're not well-liked, Alicia. Lucca: Well, we'll see you in court. Bukovitz: People think you're rich. You're the wife of the governor and the loser in the presidential primary. He's not well-liked either. $1.5 million. Nice talking to you. (Laughs) You've lost it, haven't you? Oh, yes, I have. Good news? Alicia: No. No, no, no. Very bad news, actually. Yep, we got shafted by the brotherhood of the robe. Our insurance doesn't even come close to covering this. And we won't be able to afford our lawyer. Last I looked, you two were lawyers. (Chuckles) Yes. Two tired lawyers. I'm heading home. Okay. We'll talk tomorrow. Yep. I should go, too. No, you should stay. You should think things through with Alicia. Are you still fine? Yeah. (Door closes) So a funny thing happened yesterday. In the elevator? Yeah. No, um, before that. I got offered a job at Lockhart/Agos. I said no, but they offered a lot of money. And then you said yes. No, because I didn't want to make it seem like it was about us yesterday. Ah, I see. Well, you should do what's best for you. Yeah, well, sometimes I can't tell what that is. Well, it usually involves seeing which number is higher. (Chuckles) (Phone ringing) Yes. So that didn't end well, did it? No. I heard from Lucca, they don't want to settle. They don't. And you're looking for a new place of business? Yes. Homeowners' association. Oh. And we're looking for new associates. Lost half in a bit of a rebellion. Oh, God. What? Would it be so bad to come back? As an associate? No. You want me back as a partner? Diane would not want me back as a partner. A junior partner. (Chuckles) You guys fired me. No, we didn't. That was Dipple. And, anyway, his people like you a lot more now that Peter lost the nomination, so... (Both chuckle) (Sighs) Look. We can help you cover any loss you experience. Make it a part of your settlement. Come on, Alicia. [SCENE_BREAK] Come on home. (Man trills tongue, hums) (Chuckles) ♪ I found me a woman ♪ ♪ But she stands too tall ♪ ♪ I give her every inch of my dream ♪ ♪ 'Cause it's too small. ♪	Plan: A: a sitting judge; Q: Who does Alicia decide to sue? A: a former bond client; Q: Who reveals that a judge has been in prison for eight months? A: a minor misdemeanor charge; Q: What was the charge that Alicia's former client was in prison for? A: the case; Q: What did Alicia and Lucca lose? A: Cary Agos; Q: Who agrees to represent Alicia and Lucca in a malpractice suit? A: Cary; Q: Who offers Alicia one more chance to rejoin Lockhart, Agos and Lee? A: more detail; Q: What does Alicia want from Eli before she forgives him? A: Eli; Q: Who does Alicia try to get more information from about Will's voice mail? A: Freelance investigator Jason Crouse; Q: Who helps Diane in her arbitration case? A: California; Q: Where did Jason Crouse return from? A: a school newspaper; Q: What is Diane trying to prevent the defunding of? A: one more time; Q: How many times does Cary offer Alicia to rejoin Lockhart, Agos and Lee? A: a junior partner; Q: What is Alicia's role in Lockhart, Agos and Lee? Summary: Alicia decides to sue a sitting judge after a former bond client of hers reveals he has been in prison for eight months on a minor misdemeanor charge. Alicia and Lucca lose the case only to be subject to a malpractice suit by the same client. Cary Agos agrees to represent her and Lucca. Alicia still aches from the missed voice mail from Will, and tries to elicit more detail from Eli about it before forgiving him entirely. Freelance investigator Jason Crouse returns from California, and takes up work with both Diane and Alicia; helping Diane in arbitration attempting to prevent the defunding of a school newspaper, and in Alicia's malpractice suit. Cary offers Alicia one more time to rejoin Lockhart, Agos and Lee, but only as a junior partner.
[Mystic Falls High School] (The school is empty. There's a noise. Matt is training but hears a noise. He gets up and walk through school. He finally enter a classroom, it's dark but when he enters there's a lot of noise. He switch the light ans sees a lot of mouse traps snaping. Tyler, Caroline, Elena and Bonnie are here) Caroline: Ohh! Oh, come on! Seriously?! Do you know how long it took for us to set all this up?! Tyler: Forgot about senior prank night, huh? Matt: Clearly Caroline: How could you forget? We've only been waiting for this since like freshman year Elena: Yeah, Matt. If I'm doing this, you're doing this Matt: I'm kind of surprised any of you are doing this Bonnie: Caroline's making us Caroline: We're about to be seniors. These are the memories that stay with us forever, and if we don't... Elena: And if we don't create these memories now, then what's the point of it all? Caroline: Go ahead and make fun, I don't care Tyler: You're all lame. And I've got ten more classrooms to prank (He takes his bag and leaves. Elena's about to leave too) Caroline: Hey! Where are you going? Elena: To superglue Alaric's desk shut. I'm making memories (She smiles. Caroline smiles too) Caroline: I love you! (Elena goes out of the classroom and sees Tyler giving instructions to other students) Tyler: Get the faculty toilet seats, and Dana needs bodies in the gym. Let's go (Elena laughs and opens the double doors. She's face to face with Klaus) Klaus: There's my girl Elena: Klaus! Klaus: You're supposed to be dead. What are we going to do about that? [A car] (Damon and Katherine are in a car. He's driving) Katherine: Are you hungry? Let's stop for a bite. A truck stop. Or a trucker Damon: Oh, stop being cute Katherine: It's not possible Damon: We've been driving around aimlessly for hours. Where are we going? Katherine: Far enough away so that you can't go running back Damon: Not to worry. Mystic Falls and I are on a bit of a break Katherine: You and Mystic Falls, or you and Elena? Damon: Let's just say Elena and I are having a bit of difference of opinion on how I should behave Katherine: Ooh. Let me guess... Elena wants you to be the hero, and you don't like playing pretend Damon: Something like that Katherine: Her loss (They kiss but Damon finally pushes her on her seat) Katherine: What are you doing? Damon: I thought I'd give it a shot. Truth is, you just don't do it for me anymore [A truck] (Stefan wakes up. Rebekah's here) Rebekah: Oh, he lives Stefan: What happened? Rebekah: You took a beating. My brother's been breaking your neck all afternoon. Quite the temper Stefan: Why did he bring us back to Mystic Falls? Rebekah: You can stop playing dumb now. It didn't take him long to figure out what you've been hiding Stefan: I'm not hiding anything. I've done everything Klaus has asked me to Rebekah: No, you just failed to mention that the doppelganger's still alive Stefan: Where is Klaus now? Rebekah: With any luck, ripping that cow's bloody head off (He rushes over her and they fall outside the truck) Stefan: Where is she? Rebekah: You really do love her, don't you? (She gets up and pushes him against the truck and takes a crowbar. She puts him around his scruff) Rebekah: Consider me jealous (She drives the scruff through his stomach) [Mystic Falls High School] (Klaus is holding onto Elena's arm and they're walking through school) Klaus: You put a rather large kink in my plans, sweetheart. The whole point of breaking the curse and becoming a hybrid was to make more hybrids. I haven't been able to do that. Now my bet is, it has something to do with the fact that you're still breathing Elena: If you're going to kill me, just do it! Klaus: Not until I know I'm right. But I do have ways of making you suffer (They enter the gym. A few students are here making pranks. Klaus speaks with an American accent) Klaus: Attention, seniors. You have officially been busted. Prank night is over. Head on home (He sees Dana and another student. He gets closer to them and speaks with his normal voice) Klaus: You two. I remember you Dana: I'm sorry. Who are you? Klaus: Oh, don't worry, I wasn't in my right head last time we met (He compels her) Klaus: Lift your foot up, please, Dana (He looks at the boy) Klaus: If she drops her foot, Chad, I want you to beat her to death. Understood? Elena: Don't, Klaus. You don't have to hurt anybody Klaus: Oh, come on, love. Of course I do [Middle of nowhere] (Damon stops the car and gets out. Katherine gets out too) Katherine: Why are we stopping? Damon: I thought we might want to stretch our legs. Take a break from the sexual tension. I'm tired of driving. It's your turn Katherine: Fine (He throws the keys away) Katherine: Hey! I... Damon: We're not going anywhere until you spill your guts Katherine: Fine (She takes something out of her pocket and shows him Elena's necklace) Katherine: Do you recognize this, hmm? A little birdy told me that Klaus wants to get his hands on it Damon: Why would Klaus want Elena's necklace? Katherine: Does it matter? He wants it, and I have it. It's leverage, Damon. Always stay one step ahead of your enemy Damon: I'll keep that in mind Katherine: But more importantly, when I stole the necklace from Bonnie, I found out something else... Something better Damon: Oh, yeah? What's that? Katherine: Are you willing to do whatever it takes to stop Klaus? No turning back? Damon: I'm not turning back Katherine: Good. 'Cause this isn't going to win you any points at home (She opens the trunk. Jeremy is in it, uncounscious. Damon looks at him and then at her) Damon: Jeremy? Really? [Mystic Falls High School] (Caroline and Tyler are in the hallway. She puts honey on the lockers. Tyler kisses her) Caroline: Do you think Matt's going to be ok? Tyler: I'm kissing you and you're wondering about your ex-boyfriend? Caroline: I'm asking you if you think our friend, who we both love, is ok Tyler: I think he probably doesn't have a lot of people to talk to anymore. I think he's struggling more than he lets on. I think that I love how big your heart is (She smiles) Caroline: I just want this school year to be great, you know? I just want everyone to be happy. Even in the midst of all the crazy unhappy bits Tyler: I'm happy (They kiss. Rebekah arrives) Rebekah: You two are adorable (They look at her) Caroline: Uh, do we know you? Rebekah: You're Caroline, Elena's friend, which makes you Tyler. The werewolf Caroline: And who are you? Rebekah: I'm the new girl (She vamps out) Tyler: Caroline! (Rebekah rushes over Caroline) (Bonnie and Matt are putting Toilet paper on the pool) Bonnie: This is fun, right? Matt: You sound like Caroline Bonnie: Come on, I am embracing her philosophy. You should be more into this Matt: I know. Where's Jeremy tonight? Bonnie: I haven't talked to him all day. We're having, um... He, uh, he told me about seeing Vicki Matt: Ohh. Good, I'm glad that you know Bonnie: I'm sorry. Is it weird talking about your sister like this? Matt: No, I... I just kind of want to see her myself, you know? I mean, I never got to say good-bye to her (He exhales) Matt: Do you realize that just last summer, you and I were lifeguards at the pool? And the only two problems I had in my life were that Elena was breaking up with me and I sucked at CPR Bonnie: Everything was so different then Matt: Yeah. Now Elena's dating a vampire, you're a witch, my sister's a ghost, and... I'm... I'm just a guy who's wondering how life got so screwed up Bonnie: It's crazy, Matt. I... I can't imagine what it must be like for you Matt: It just, uh, kind of explains why I'm not that into senior prank night. I'll go grab a couple more rolls. Then we hit the gym (Matt is in the toilets. He grabs some paper rolls in the cabins. One of the doors open by itself. He enters the cabin, sees a graffiti that says "RIP Vicki" and then closes the door. Vicki's behind him) Vicki: I'm here, Matt. I can help you (He doesn't hear her) (Dana is still on one foot) Klaus: Keep it up Elena: Where's Stefan? What did you do to him? Klaus: Stefan's on a time out (The doors open. Bonnie and Matt enter) Elena: Bonnie, get out of here! Klaus: Ah, I was wondering when you'd show up. Now we can get started (He looks at Dana) Klaus: Ah, Dana, why don't you relax? You and Chad sit tight (He looks at Bonnie) Klaus: I assume you're the reason Elena's still walking around alive? Bonnie: That's right. If you want to blame someone, blame me Klaus: Oh, there's no need for blame, love. Just your witchy interference seems to have caused some undesirable side effects. And since you caused the problem, I'm going to have you find the fix (Rebekah enters with Tyler) Tyler: Get off of me! Rebekah: Hush now Klaus: I'd like you all to meet my sister Rebekah. Word of warning... She can be quite mean Rebekah: Don't be an ass (She throws Tyler in Klaus' arms) Elena: Leave him alone! Klaus: I'm going to make this very simple... Every time I attempt to turn a werewolf into a vampire hybrid, they die during the transition. It's quite horrible, actually (He bities his wrist and makes Tyler drink his blood) Klaus: I need you to find a way to save my hybrids, Bonnie. And for Tyler's sake... You better hurry (He kills him. Elena, Matt and Bonnie are shocked. Klaus smiles) (Stefan is in the parking lot and has the crobar in his stomach. He wakes up and removes it) (Dana and Chad are sitting on the floor. Matt is next to Tyler's body) Matt: He killed him Elena: He's not dead. Klaus's blood will turn him into a vampire Klaus: And if Bonnie's successful, he'll live through his transition. Go on, then. Go and fetch your grimoires. and enchantments and what-not. I'll hold on to Elena... For safe-keeping (He catches Elena's arm and looks at her. Elena makes a sign to Bonnie and she leaves with Tyler. Rebekah looks at Elena) Rebekah: So this is the latest doppelganger. The original one was much prettier Klaus: Enough, Rebekah. Take the wolf boy elsewhere, would you? (Rebekah takes Tyler and leaves with him. Klaus looks at Elena) Klaus: Just ignore her. Petty little thing (Matt and Bonnie are in the hallway) Matt: What are you going to do? Bonnie: I have no idea. The curse he's talking about is a thousand years old. My grimoires don't go back that far Matt: Can you ask those dead witches that helped you before? Bonnie: I don't have contact with them anymore... They cut me off when I brought Jeremy back to life. That's it! I can't contact the dead. Jeremy can [Middle of Nowhere] (Katherine and Damon are sitting. Jeremy's still uncouscious) Damon: I'm listening Katherine: What if I told you there was a way to kill Klaus? And not Dagger dead. Dead dead Damon: I'd say you were desperate and lying. Or drunk. Or desperate, lying and drunk Katherine: Do you remember my friend Pearl? Damon: Vividly Katherine: Centuries ago, she told me about a vampire who knew how to kill Klaus. Then she wouldn't tell me any more Damon: Well, why not? Katherine: Because it was her leverage. She knew it was valuable information, and wouldn't share it with me Damon: Well, this is all great... But she's dead Katherine: Which is why I never brought it up. Because she only ever told one other person Damon: Who? Katherine: Her daughter. Anna Damon: Also dead Katherine: Which brings us right back around to... (Jeremy wakes up) Jeremy: To me. Back around to me [Mystic Falls High School] (Elena is touching Dana's hair to make her feel better .Stefan enters the gym) Elena: Stefan... Stefan; Klaus Klaus: Come to save your damsel, mate? Stefan: I came to ask for your forgiveness. And pledge my loyalty Klaus: Well, you broke that pledge once already Stefan: Elena means nothing to me anymore. And whatever you ask of me... I will do Klaus: Fair enough. Let's drink on it. Kill them. What are you waiting for? Kill them Elena: No! Stefan, don't. He's not going to hurt me. He already said... (Klaus hits her so hard that she falls on the floor. Stefan rushes over Klaus, his fangs out) Klaus: She means nothing to you? Your lies just keep piling up Stefan: Let her go! I'll do whatever you want, you have my word! Klaus: Your word doesn't mean much. I lived by your word all summer, during which time I never had to resort to this... (He compels him) Klaus: Stop fighting Stefan: Don't do this, don't do this Klaus: I didn't want to. All I wanted was your allegiance. Now I'm going to have to take it Stefan: Don't...Don't... (Klaus compels him) Klaus: You will do exactly as I say when I say it. You will not run, you will not hide, you will simply just obey Elena: No! Stefan! Klaus: Now kill them. Ripper (Stefan vamps out, rushes over Dana and kills her by drinking her blood) [Middle of Nowhere] Jeremy: This isn't going to work (A cellphone vibrates. Katherine looks at it, it's a message from Bonnie) Katherine: I think that your witchy girlfriend's worried that you've run away with your ghostly lover Damon: Stop with the teeny bopper drama. Focus (Jeremy focuses and Anna apears) Anna: I'm not helping them Jeremy: No, it's ok to help (Katherine and Damon look at each other 'cause they can't see her) Jeremy: They're looking for a way to stop Klaus Anna: I don't care. Katherine is not a friend to you. Neither of them are Damon: What's she saying? Jeremy: Well, she doesn't want to help you (Katherine whispers to Damon) Katherine: My advice? If you want to make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs (Damon gets closer to Jeremy) Damon: Jeremy, I just want you to know, it's nothing personal (He takes Jeremy head and hits it against the table) Jeremy: Ow! What the hell?! Anna: Jeremy! Damon: Anna, I know you can hear me. Tell us what you know. The sooner, the better for your little boyfriend here Anna: They're looking for Mikael Jeremy: Mikael! Katherine: Mikael. Is that his name? Damon: Who's Mikael? Anna: The vampire who hunts vampires. You don't want to wake him. He will kill all of you Damon: What's she saying? Katherine: Hello! Jeremy: He's a vampire and a Hunter, and you guys would be idiots to wake him (He looks at Anna) Jeremy: What do you mean, wake him? Damon: It's time to go find the keys Katherine: Mm-hmm [Mystic Falls High School] (Caroline wakes up. Rebekah has her phone) Rebekah: We didn't have mobile telephones in my day. Would have made life a whole lot easier, I suppose (She takes a picture of herself) Caroline: Where's Tyler? Rebekah: He's dead. Ish (Caroline sees him) Caroline: What did you do to him? Rebekah: Think of it as he's having a nap. When he wakes up, he'll be a hybrid (She looks at pictures and sees a picture of Stefan and Elena) Rebekah: Ugh. Vomit (Suddenly she sees the necklace around Elena's neck) Rebekah: Is that my neck... (She makes a zoom on the necklace) Rebekah: Why is that doppelganger bitch wearing my necklace?! (Stefan is feeding on Chad) Klaus: It's always nice to see a vampire in his true element. The species has become such a broody lot Elena: No. You did this to him Klaus: I invited him to the party, love. He's the one dancing on the table (Rebekah enters and rushes toward Elena) Rebekah: Where is it?! Where's my necklace? Klaus: What are you talking about? Rebekah: She has my necklace. Look (She gives him the phone so he can see the picture) Klaus: Well, well. More lies Rebekah: Where...is it? Elena: I don't have it anymore Rebekah: You're lying! (She vamps out and bites Elena but Klaus stops her and takes her appart) Klaus: Knock it off! Rebekah: Make her tell me where it is, Nik! (Klaus looks at Elena. She has her hand on her neck) Klaus: Where's the necklace, sweetheart? Be honest Elena: I'm telling the truth. Katherine stole it Klaus: Katerina. Of course. Well, that's unfortunate. If we had the necklace it would make things a whole lot easier for your witch, but since we're doing this the hard way, let's put a clock on it, shall we? (He puts the clock. There's a buzzer sound when the clock appears on the board) Klaus: 20 minutes. If Bonnie hasn't found a solution by then, I want you to feed again. Only this time, I want you to feed on Elena. You know you want to Elena: No, Klaus! Don't do this to him! Klaus: No one leaves. If she tries to run, fracture her spine (Rebekah looks at them and leaves with Klaus) (Matt is on the gym room and on the phone with Bonnie) Matt: Did you find Jeremy? Bonnie: No! I called him like 20 times Matt: All right, I'll grab my keys, we'll head to his house Bonnie: Ok. I'll meet you by your truck (He hangs out. His stuffs are everywhere on the floor) Matt: What the hell? (He looks in his bag but doesn't find what he's looking for so he goes o the pool. His keys are at the bottom of the pool.) Matt: You've got to be kidding me! (He takes his jacket off ad removes his shoes. Vicki's behind but he can't see her) Vicki: Matt! I can help you, mattie, but I need you to hear me (She kicks on one of his shoes. Matt just sees the shoe going in the water. He looks at his phone and sees a text from an unknown) Matt: Whoa! Vicki? (He calls Bonnie) Bonnie: What is taking so long? (Matt has a iron belt and a heavy thing) Matt: This is going to sound crazy, but I think Vicki's trying to reach out to me Bonnie: What? Matt: I think she can help us save Tyler Bonnie: No, Jeremy can help us save Tyler Matt: We can't find Jeremy. We need to try something else. I have an idea but I'm going to need your help. Meet me at the pool Bonnie: I don't understand Matt: Jeremy can see ghosts because you brought him back from the dead. I need you to do that for me Bonnie: What?! No, Matt, that's crazy! Matt: This is going to work, trust me Bonnie: No, Matt, I can't do that kind of magic anymore Matt: You don't need magic, Bonnie. You just have to be better than I was at CPR (He puts the belt and attaches the heavy thing to it then he jumps on the water to stay at the bottom.) (Bonnie runs and enters the pool. She sees Matt, jumps in the water removes the belt from Matt and gets him out of the water.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Middle of Nowhere] (Jeremy is falling asleep) Damon: Don't fall asleep, Jer. You might have a concussion Jeremy: Thanks for the concern, Dick Katherine: Oh, stop pouting. He took one for the team. Everyone back home will thank you once Klaus is dead Damon: Where's my phone? Katherine: Do you need to check in with Elena? Make sure it's ok you pummeled her little baby bro? Damon: You know you have it Katherine: What can I say? I needed you present here and now Damon: Katherine, phone, now (She sighs and gives it to him; He looks at it) Damon: Bonnie's been texting me Jeremy: What is it? Damon: It's Klaus Katherine: No turning back, Damon Damon: Shut up, Katherine Katherine: Hey, look at the big picture. The best shot at taking out Klaus is by finding Mikael (Damon looks at Jeremy and gives the keys) Damon: Stay with her so Anna can guide you. I'm going back Katherine: You're going to get yourself killed. The Damon I remember wouldn't have been that stupid Damon: I wouldn't have done it for you [Mystic Falls High School] (Bonnie is trying to save Matt) Bonnie: Matt, please! I can't do this. There's nothing else I can do! (Matt is in between and can see Vicki) Vicki: Matt. Matt Matt: Vicki? Vicki: Matt. Please! Matt: I can see you Vicki: I need you to listen to me very carefully. I don't have much time Matt: Why, what's happening? Where are we? Vicki: It doesn't matter. I need you to give Bonnie a message (He wakes up and spills some water. Bonnie catches him) Bonnie: It's ok. You're ok (Stefan and Elena are still in the gym. There's 6 minutes left on the clock) Elena: Caroline's dad! Stefan, he was able to resist compulsion. I don't know how, but he did it. Maybe it's possible Stefan: Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's just mind control, right? Maybe it just takes some focus, a couple decades of training. No big deal Elena: Stefan, you can control this. When that buzzer goes off, just... just drink from me Stefan: You don't get it. I can't stop, Elena! I'm a ripper! A ripper doesn't stop! I listen to the words that come out of your mouth, and all I hear is the sound of your heart pumping blood through your body. And when that clock ticks down... I'm going to have to feed on you. And you want to know what's worse? I'm not going to be able to stop Elena: I don't believe that. You can fight it. You just have to want it bad enough Stefan: Why, because I love you? Elena: Yeah! That's right, Stefan. Because you love me. You'll fight because after everything that we've been through, you owe me that! Stefan: You know what, you're right. You're right. I owe you everything. Because through all of this, you are the one thing that has kept me from giving up; from turning it all off. But I can't help what I am, Elena. The more blood that I get, the more I want, and if I get so much as near yours... You are dead (Caroline, Tyler and Rebekah are in a classroom. Tyler wakes up) Tyler: Where am I? What happened? Caroline: Tyler Rebekah: Don't be shy about it Tyler: What's going on? Caroline: Klaus is turning you into a vampire. A hybrid. You're in transition Rebekah: Don't leave out the hard part, sweets. You'll only survive if your witch is successful. If not... You're pretty much dead Caroline: You're going to be ok. Ok? It's going to be ok Rebekah: I wonder how she's doing (She looks at the clock on the phone) Rebekah: Tick tock goes the gym clock (Matt and Bonnie are in the hallway) Bonnie: As soon as you're feeling better, I'm going to kill you Matt: It worked. I saw her, I saw Vicki Bonnie: You did? Matt: She said she had a message for you Bonnie: For me? Matt: From the witch that put the hybrid curse on Klaus. She said that Elena shouldn't have survived Klaus' ritual. The hybrids can't transition because Elena's still alive Bonnie: Tyler... Matt: He's going to die, isn't he? Klaus: I wouldn't be too sure about that (He's behind them, against the wall) Klaus: Given the choice, doppelganger or a hybrid, I go hybrid every time (There's only a few seconds left on the clock) Stefan: Elena, you're going to have run Elena: But Klaus said that if I run... Stefan: I know what he said, but if you stay, it won't matter. Elena, please, please, please. There's no other way Elena: There is another way, Stefan. It's for you to fight (The buzzer makes a sound. The time has passed) Elena: Stefan... I love you. Fight, Stefan. Don't give up Stefan: I can't hold it (He vamps out and rushes over Elena. She screams. But he holds onto the wall) Stefan: Elena, run! Go! (She runs through school. Stefan holds on to everything he can so he don't have to hurt Elena. She opens a door and falls on Klaus) Klaus: We've got to stop meeting like this (Stefan enters the cafeteria and takes a stakes and drives it through his body. Klaus enters with Elena) Klaus: Now this is fascinating. I've never seen this before. The only thing stronger than your craving for blood is your love for this one girl. Why don't you turn it off? Stefan: No! Klaus: Come on. Your humanity is killing you. All the guilt must be exhausting. Turn it off Stefan: No! Elena: Stefan... Klaus: You're strong (He removes the stake from Stefan's body) Klaus: But you're not that strong. Turn...it... Off Stefan: No! (He pushes Klaus. But Klaus pushes him against the wall, compels him and yells) Klaus: Turn it off! (Stefan's face and look change. It's note the Stefan Elena knew anymore) Elena: What did you do? Klaus: I fixed him. But I think a test is in order, don't you? (He goes behind Elena and looks at Stefan) Klaus: Ripper... Perhaps you'd like a drink.. From the doppelganger's neck (Stefan's face changes and rushes over Elena to drink her blood. She screams) (Klaus enters the classroom Rebekah, Tyler and Caroline are into) Klaus: Well, the verdict's in. The original witch says the doppelganger should be dead (Rebekah gets up and seems happy) Rebekah: Does that mean we can kill her? Klaus: No, I'm fairly certain it means the opposite Rebekah: What?! Klaus: Call it a hunch... (He shows a test tube contening blood to Tyler. Rebekah holds Caroline so she can't move) Klaus: Elena's blood. Drink it Caroline: No! No, no, no, Tyler, don't! Klaus: If he doesn't feed, he'll die anyway, love. Consider this an experiment (Tyler struggles but he finally drinks it) Klaus: There we go. Good boy (Tyler suddenly is hurting. He screams and groans and writhes. He holds his head and screams but his face finally change. His eyes are yellow, he has fangs and veins under his eyes) Klaus: Well, that's a good sign [Mystic Falls Hospital] (Elena wakes up in a bed, in the hospital. A nurse is with her) Elena: Where am I? Nurse: In the hospital, sweetie. You suffered through a terrible ordeal Elena: I have to get out of here Nurse: Ah. Not an option. You've lost a lot of blood (Elena sees a blood bag next to her) Elena: Wait... You're taking my blood? Nurse: Of course. It's very important for your friend Klaus (Elena freaks out but the nurse injects her something) Nurse: Don't fight it, sweetie. He told me you need plenty of rest (Elena falls asleep) (Klaus and Rebekah are in front of the hospital) Rebekah: So the doppelganger isn't the problem. Her blood is the solution Klaus: Seems so Rebekah: How did you know? Klaus: Well, you know how much the original witch hated me. Do you honestly think I would do anything other than the opposite of what she says Rebekah: A thousand years in the grave and she's still screwing with you Klaus: Well, it makes sense if you think about it from her perspective. It was her failsafe in case I ever broke the hybrid curse. The doppelganger had to die in order for me to become a hybrid, but if she was dead... Rebekah: Then you couldn't use her blood to sire yourself a new species Klaus: Leaving me alone for all time Rebekah: Is that what this is about? Your obsession with hybrids. You just don't want to be alone? Klaus: What I want is to take my girl, take my hybrid the hell out of this one pony town. You know, why don't you, uh, why don't you get the truck? I'll get Elena (She leaves. Damon arrives) Klaus: Well, look who finally decided to show up to the party Damon: Where is she? Klaus: Elena? Ah, she's making a donation to a greater cause (Damon goes toward the hospital but Klaus stops him) Klaus: I'm afraid I can't let you interfere, mate Damon: You'll have to kill me Klaus: Oh, I would love to kill you, but I made a pledge to your brother, and unlike him, I keep my word. Although, you know what, thinking about it now, he probably doesn't car that much anymore (He pushes Damon against a car and is about to kill him) Damon: You don't want to know about your friend Mikael? Klaus: What do you know about Mikael? Damon: Just that he knows you're here Klaus: You're bluffing Damon: Katherine and I found him. Consider it our leverage (Klaus throws him on the ground. When Damon gets up, Klaus' has disapeared. Damon goes toward the hospital) (Damon is in the hallway, looking for Elena. He finally finds her. She's asleep, he looks at her and pulls out the pipes in Elena's arm. He looks at the pipe whom was pumping her blood and she wakes up) Elena: Damon... Damon: Hey (He takes her out of the bed and carries her outside the room) [Mystic Falls High School] (Caroline and Tyler are in the hallway) Caroline: Are you sure you're ok? Tyler: I'm great, Caroline. I mean, like, phenomenal. It's a rush. I wish I could explain it. Everything's just... Better (He takes her in his arms. She laughs. Then he kisses her) Tyler: This is going to be an amazing year (He embraces her. She seems worried) (Bonnie rejoins Matt in the Gym room) Bonnie: You ready? I could still use a ride over to Jeremy's Matt: Yeah, just a second Bonnie: Listen to me. I know you want to help, and I know you miss your sister. But what you did was reckless and stupid Matt: I know. Bonnie. I know. But it worked. It was worth it Bonnie: You don't want to be a part of all this, Matt. You are the only one of us who actually gets to live your life like a normal person, no matter how lost you feel. Don't forget that Matt: I get it, Bonnie. I'll be out in a minute, ok? Vicki's here. Watching me, and I just, uh, I just need a minute to say good-bye, ok? (She leaves but somebody's behind him. He thinks it's Bonnie) Matt: Bon, seriously, I'm not going to do anything stupid, I just... (He turns his head ans sees Vicki) Matt: Vicki? (She sits down next to him) Vicki: Hi, Mattie [Salvatore's House] (Damon gives Elena a glass of scotch) Damon: Hey, have some bourbon. It'll help you forget (She drinks but doesn't seem to like it) Damon: Yeah, it's strong. You know I can help you forget, too. At least the memories you don't want to keep Elena: No. No compulsion. I need to remember. All of it (He shows her her necklace) Damon: I stole it back for you Elena: He's really gone this time. I watched it happen. After everything that we went through to get... to help him. Now he's just... Gone. Where were you, Damon? (He puts his hand on her leg) Damon: I shouldn't have left. I promise you... I will never leave you again (They look at each other) Stefan: Well, isn't this cozy? (They both look at him. Damon gets up. They're surprised) Damon: What are you doing here, brother? Stefan: Last I checked, I lived here. Klaus is gone, but he's asked me to keep watch on you until he returns. From now on, you're under my protection (He looks at Elena) Stefan: Mmm, by all means. Carry on (He leaves. Damon and Elena look at each other) [A cemetery] (Katherine and Jeremy are in front of a crypt) Katherine: How do you know that Anna wasn't tricking you? Jeremy: This is the place. It's the oldest wing of the largest cemetery in Charlotte. She said that a witch entombed him here in the nineties (They look through the door. There's a tomb) Jeremy: Look there (Katherine opens the double doors. She looks at the tomb and opens it. Mikael is in it, momified and chained up. As soon as the tomb is opened, he opens his eyes)	Plan: A: A senior prank night; Q: What takes a deadly turn when Klaus finds out that Elena is still alive? A: Klaus; Q: Who threatens Elena by feeding Tyler his blood? A: Bonnie; Q: Who does Vicki tell that she can come back to life and has a message for? A: a way; Q: What do Katherine and Damon go on a road trip to find to kill Klaus? A: his urge; Q: What does Stefan try to stop, but Klaus makes him turn off his emotions and feed on Elena? A: Elena's blood; Q: What is needed to create more hybrids? A: Katherine; Q: Who remembers Pearl telling her about Mikael? A: Damon; Q: Who tells Klaus that Mikael is coming? A: Pearl; Q: Who told Katherine about Mikael? A: Mikael; Q: Who is the vampire hunter who was also a vampire? A: Matt; Q: Who commits suicide in an attempt to connect with Vicki? A: Vicki; Q: Who does Matt see in a vision? A: the hospital; Q: Where is Elena when a nurse takes her blood? A: Mikael's tomb; Q: Where do Jeremy and Katherine find Mikael? A: his eyes; Q: What does Mikael open when Jeremy and Katherine find his tomb? Summary: A senior prank night takes a deadly turn when Klaus finds out that Elena is still alive. Klaus threatens Elena by feeding Tyler his blood and kills him. He tells Bonnie that if she does not find a way to create hybrids, Tyler dies. He also tells Stefan to feed on Elena. Stefan tries to stop his urge, but Klaus makes him turn off his emotions and feed on her. Klaus finds out that Elena's blood is needed to create more hybrids. Meanwhile, Katherine and Damon go on a road trip to find a way to kill Klaus. Katherine remembers that Pearl told her about Mikael, the vampire hunter who was also a vampire. Matt, in an attempt to connect with Vicki, commits suicide. In a vision he sees her, and she tells him she can come back to life and has a message for Bonnie. Elena is in the hospital while a nurse, compelled by Klaus, takes her blood. Klaus is waiting to abduct Elena, but he flees when Damon tells him that Mikael is coming. Damon then saves Elena. Moments later, Stefan returns. Jeremy and Katherine find Mikael's tomb and watch as he opens his eyes.
Opening shots and series recap JACK : (VO) Torchwood. Outside the government, beyond the police. Tracking down alien life on earth and arming the human race against the future. The 21st century is when everything changes and you gotta be ready. INT. GWEN'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING Gwen leans on her elbow in bed watching Rhys sleep. RHYS : You know it's rude to stare. Gwen laughs as he rolls over towards her. GWEN : Is it too late to get you to make me a cuppa. RHYS : What's it worth ? GWEN : What do you want ? RHYS : I'll draw you a diagram shall I ? They kiss and Rhys gets out of bed, naked. GWEN : Nice arse. Rhys slaps a tune on his butt as he leaves the room, Gwen laughs at him and her phone rings. RHYS : Don't answer it ! Gwen picks up the phone, checks the screen and stops laughing when she answers. GWEN : Yep. JACK : (Over phone) You watchin' the news ? [SCENE_BREAK] GWEN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM Gwen stands before the television in her dressing gown. REPORTER : (On TV) There's speculation that the incidents over night may be linked. Initial reports suggest terrorist involvement, but this morning some intelligence experts have claimed the incidents may be a stunt. The first sightings were of UFOs over the Taj Mahal in India... The news station shows footage of UFOs before moving to a London location where English civil war soldiers fire their muskets at armed police officers. REPORTER : (On TV) ...they came in just after midnight. In London this morning there were reports of men in historic dress firing upon police. Some religious groups proclaiming are a vindication of their teachings. RHYS : Do you think it is terrorists ? GWEN : Terrorists bomb things, this is different. RELIGIOUS WOMAN : (On TV) ...People didn't believe us, now they should. Judgement day is finally here. This is the End of Days. OPENING CREDITS INT. THE HUB Ianto reads from the Bible. IANTO : ...and I heard but did not understand, and I said 'Master what is the end of all these things ?' and he said 'go Daniel, for the things are closed up and sealed until the end of time'. Daniel twelve, verse ten. GWEN : Sounds a bit close for comfort. Owen looks at the hand in it's jar, holding his shoulder still. OWEN : This machine's on the blink, keeps loosing power. Sorry don't let me stop your portents of doom, or have you finished ? IANTO : No, plenty more where that came from. Jack sits in his office with Toshiko looking at a laptop thinking. As Ianto starts reading another end of the world story he gets up and walks into the main hub. IANTO : Abaddon, the Great Devourer, will lead the world into shadow. JACK : Yeah, thanks, Ianto I can do without the superstition. You people love any story that denies the randomness of existence. IANTO : Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better. JACK : Okay, I've been fielding calls all night, the government, UNIT, the CIA. Half the Western world and a good proportion of the Eastern are all asking the same question : is this anything to do with us ? Jack glances at Ianto who looks away, knowing it is and thinking it's as much his fault as Owen's because he didn't stop him. GWEN : Is it ? TOSHIKO : I've run a profile on every reported temporal anomaly and tracked any physical temporal pattern. Toshiko uses her palm pilot and a global map appears on the monitor. Red lines clearly extend from Cardiff. GWEN : sh1t ! JACK : The cracks in time track back here to the rift: this city, this hub, is the centre. What you're seeing around the world are ripples and aftershocks. The rift is splintering because of you. Jack looks directly at Owen who looks up defiantly. OWEN : What ? JACK : You opened the rift without knowing what you were doing. You've caused the temporal cracks to widen, time is seeping through. OWEN : If it wasn't for me you'd still be in the 1940s. so are we going to sit around crying into our lattes or are we going to do something about it ? JACK : Bring those who've fallen through time back here, into the vaults. OWEN : And do what with them ? JACK : We'll deal with phase one first, then I'll tell you about phase two. OWEN : You can't control time, you can't send 'em back ! What are you gonna do ! JACK : We'll think of something ! They all fall to silence in the face of Jack's spilling anger and the lack of any cohesive plan. JACK : Hey, this is not the end of the world. I'm certain of that. An alarm sounds and Ianto moves to Jack's laptop to check. IANTO : Priority one attendance requested at the hospital, mortality rate's gone through the roof. They're sealing off the area and designating a hot zone. OWEN : I'll go. JACK : Tosh go with him. OWEN : Er, no thanks, I'm fine on my own. TOSHIKO : Then you'll be even better with me alongside. Shut upo Owen. GWEN : Did you have to pick on his in public like that ? JACK : All of our actions have consequences. GWEN : And all your staff have feelings, Jack. Even Owen. JACK : Well, you would know. Jack walks away leaving Gwen stunned. GWEN : He brought you back ! Would you rather be stuck in World War II ? Gwen's phone rings and she answers it angrily while Jack looks at her impassive. GWEN : Hello ? PC ANDY : (Over phone) Gwen ? This is Andy. Listen... [SCENE_BREAK] POLICE STATION PC ANDY : (Into phone) I didn't know who else to call. A Roman soldier shouts in a cell. Jack and Gwen stand at the custody desk with PC Andy watching the inmate on the CCTV camera. PC ANDY : Double murder, stabbed two blokes in Penarth. Brutal it was, no mercy. What are we supposed to do ? He doesn't speak a word of English and he's dressed as a bloody Roman soldier. JACK : He's not dressed as a Roman soldier, he is a Roman soldier and he's shouting in Latin. PC ANDY : The only word I could pick out was Gethly Geyer ? GWEN : Gathly Gyer. There's a Roman fort out in Gathly Gyer, built around seventy five a d. JACK : So he was on his way there, time splintered and he ends up here. PC ANDY : 'scuse me, hi. Any time you feel like talking sense... JACK : That soldier came through a crack in time. PC ANDY : He's not serious is he ? They walk down the cell block to the soldier, Jack leading the way while Andy still tries to make sense of he situation. PC ANDY : This sort of thing just doesn't happen, not in Cardiff. JACK : Just because you can't understand it doesn't mean it isn't true. GWEN : I know it sounds mad Andy but... PC ANDY : Alright, Mulder and Scully, say I do believe you, which I don't, 'cause it's bollocks, say I do, how exactly are we going to handle a prisoner from two thousand years ago ? I mean, has he got the same rights as anyone else ? How's this gonna work with the CPS ? Jack opens a small tin enclosing a syringe and faces the cell door. JACK : We'll take him off your hands. Jack opens the window in the door and the soldier runs towards him and starts shouting through the hole. SOLDIER : Ego somesempre homo indomitus. Varere, valva varere. (I always dream to be an untamed man... truly great and powerful.) JACK : Under any other circumstances and exuberant Roman soldier would be my idea of a perfect morning. Jack hands the tin to Gwen, keeping the syringe. GWEN : Careful Jack. Jack enters the cell and Gwen and Andy force the door closed behind him. PC ANDY : Everyone's saying it though, word on the streets. Do you think it's the end of the world ? GWEN : Oh, Andy, don't be silly. Do you think the world's gonna end on your shift ? PC ANDY : I've seen you use that smile on a lot of people. GWEN : What smile ? PC ANDY : The smile you use to reassure people when deep down you know everything's going to sh1t. INT. HOSPITAL - ISOLATION WARD Owen walks into the ward speaking to a doctor, Toshiko behind them. All wearing bio-suits. DOCTOR : This was the first one to die, no ID on her, just appeared in the middle of A&E. nobody saw her come through the doors, she didn't register at the desk. TOSHIKO : So what happened ? DOCTOR : She started coughing up blood, we moved her into isolation immediately. An hour or so later the staff started presenting similar symptoms. The enter a plastic lined cubicle housing the body of the first victim. TOSHIKO : Which were ? DOCTOR : Bit-like bumps on the skin, chills, fever, headaches, along with black patches on the skin. OWEN : Indicating bleeding into the skin and possibly other organs. DOCTOR : From the staff it started spreading to other patients who'd been in reception when she came in. Toshiko opens the plastic bag at the end of the bed and pulls out some of the woman's clothes, confirming the worst. TOSHIKO : These aren't contemporary clothes. OWEN : Her teeth aren't exactly modern style either. sh1t. DOCTOR : As soon as we realised the rate of infection we closed down the whole area. Owen leaves the cubicle, having seen all he needs. The Doctor and Tosh follow. OWEN : How many others are infected ? DOCTOR : Thirty, maybe forty. OWEN : All quarantined off ? DOCTOR : We think so. OWEN : Then have their clothes and their sheets destroyed immediately. Owen looks at Tosh, breathing shallowly as the Doctor leaves to issue instructions to burn the material. TOSHIKO : What is it ? OWEN : That woman isn't from this century. More like the fourteenth. It's the, it's the fcking black death Tosh. She's infected Cardiff A&E with the plague. And it's, my fault. DOCTOR : The team are instigating procedures. Owen and Toshiko start to walk away, nothing more they can do. OWEN : The infected will need thirty milligrams of Streptimisin, four grams phenecol plus two of tetricyclin. DOCTOR : That's plague medicine ! Standard issue for Bubonic. OWEN : Well done House, that's what you're up against. DOCTOR : So, what are you going to do now ? OWEN : Well, you're a hospital, you've got procedures haven't you ? DOCTOR : Yes, but everybody said that Torchwood would sort it out. What if we get more carriers appearing out of the blue ? TOSHIKO : We're working to stop that. DOCTOR : We've waited for you ! You've gotta stop this ! You've gotta do something ! OWEN : No, you've gotta do something. People are dropping through time and they are going to bring every disease in history through your doors, so you better be ready. TOSHIKO : Owen. OWEN : You scarred enough yet ? 'Cause fck knows I am ! Common, Tosh. TOSHIKO : Make sure they get the medicine, call us if things get worse. DOCTOR : How much worse can they get ? Toshiko looks at the Doctor without answering and leaves the area to catch up with Owen. Toshiko removes her head cover and walks into a cross corridor. Owen nowhere in sight. TOSHIKO : Owen ? Owen ? Toshiko looks around for Owen. Toshiko's mother stands in the corridor a distance away and speaks to Tosh in Japanese. TOSH'S MOTHER : It is coming... Out of the darkness. TOSHIKO : (In Japanese) What is coming ? TOSH'S MOTHER : If there is no other way... You'll have to do it. TOSHIKO : (In Japanese) Do what ? Mum ! The apparition disappears and Owen walks into the corridor. OWEN : Tosh ! Come on, stop messing about. INT. POLICE STATION - CELL Jack and Gwen scan the comatose body of the soldier. GWEN : If Owen managed to open the rift to get you and Tosh back, can't we do the same for these people ? We've still got the rift manipulator. JACK : Huh. There's a world of difference. We're talking about taking control of time not bringing two people back from the past. Besides, look at the damage Owen caused. We mess with it further, we'll put the whole planet in danger. When have I ever let you down ? Gwen half smiles and walks down the cell block leaving Jack to continue his work. As she walks she hears a voice call her name. She turns to see Bilis sitting in the cell to her left. BILIS : (Telepathically) I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Jack looks up to see Gwen staring into the cell. JACK : Gwen. Gwen ! Gwen ! She turns to Jack when he shouts. JACK : Come on. Hustle. When Gwen looks back into the cell Bilis has vanished. She goes in to check but there is no sign of him. She backs out concerned. INT. THE HUB - VAULT The Roman soldier lies in one of the cells unconscious. Gwen and Jack stand looking at him through the glass wall. Jack : Are you sure it was the same guy ? GWEN : It was definitely him, Bilis, the caretaker at the dance hall. Gwen walks away from the cell. JACK : That's all he said, 'sorry' ? GWEN : Uh huh. JACK : Well what's he got to be sorry for ? The door at the end of the corridor bangs open and Ianto enters pushing a weevil in front of him, holding anti-weevil spray toward the creature's head. IANTO : Coming through. The weevil hisses at Ianto and he sprays it in the face before pushing it into a cell where the weevil stands close to the glass howling. IANTO : Thirty more reports of weevils on the loose, we're not gonna keep up with this one. JACK : Everything's on the increase. GWEN : Can't we stop them from making that noise ? IANTO : If you've got any ideas how. JACK : Maybe they're time sensitive, this disturbance may be too much for them. IANTO : We're now full in all vaults across all nine levels. Do you want me to activate the vaults below ? It's just we've never used them since I've been here. JACK : Do it. Gwen, maybe you're right, lets run a search on your dance hall buddy, we need to find him. GWEN : Okay. Jack leads the way from the vault, Gwen following, leaving Ianto to watch the weevil as it continues crying. He notices movement to the side and turns to see Lisa standing by the wall - fully human. LISA : Hello, Ianto. Ianto is rendered speechless at the sight of Lisa, remembering their last moments together. Lisa walks towards him slowly. IANTO : What do you want ? Why are you here ? This isn't happening. LISA : There's only one way to stop this, before things get worse. People will die, Ianto, thousands of people, unless you open the rift. Ianto closes his eyes, when he re-opens them Lisa is gone. The weevil growls at the place where she was standing - it wasn't just Ianto who saw Lisa. Ianto looks around, breathing hard at the vision. He glances once at the weevil who hisses at him. INT. THE HUB - CENTRAL Owen enters the hub and is spotted by Jack walking back into the central hub with Gwen. JACK : Owen, how was the hospital ? OWEN : Laugh a bloody minuet. They've got an outbreak of the black death. Toshiko enters behind Owen and stops at her computer staring aghast at the monitor. GWEN : What ? Oh my God ! JACK : Have they got it under control ? Does doesn't respond. JACK : Tosh ! How are they coping ? TOSHIKO : Erm, Owen got the place quarantined and organised treatments for those who've been affected. OWEN : Only consolation is, it's treatable these days, but you know, what happens when the next carrier comes through, Jack ? Someone carrying small pox or Ebola or something from the future we don't even know about yet, what do we do then ? JACK : Yeah, well, it's not doing us any good standing around speculating. Jack starts to walk away and Owen stands in his way before he can pass, standing face to face while Owen demands answers. OWEN : We need to be prepared. We're helpless. All we're doing here is putting sticking plasters on gaping wounds ! JACK : What do you suggest ? OWEN : I suggest you lead us and you tell us what the instructions are. Toshiko and Gwen both watch, Gwen taking a step forward and calling to him as he gets progressively more aggressive. GWEN : Owen. Ianto enters the central hub and stands near Toshiko, watching. OWEN : No, I can't. You're all thinking it to, you're the Big Man here, you keep all the secrets, well now's the time to tell us a few and tell us how the hell we're gonna get out of this ! JACK : You wanna know a secret ? There is no solution. I can't fix this, because this was never meant to happen. The first thing you learned when you joined Torchwood was don't mess with the rift, you disobeyed those orders and now everything that's happening is down to you. OWEN : I only disobeyed instructions to get you back ! JACK : Now people are dying. OWEN : What ? So I shouldn't have bothered ? Who the fck are you anyway, Jack Harkness ? You don't even exist, we've looked. So if you're not even a real person then why the hell should I follow your orders ? JACK : Get out. OWEN : What ? JACK : Get out ! I am relieving you of your duty. TOSHIKO : No, you can't do that. OWEN : Bollocks you are. GWEN : Jack, wait. Jack ignores the protests and leans into Owen's face menacingly. JACK : You're done here. OWEN : What so that's it ? The whole world is going to sh1t and you're going to fire me ! GWEN : Stop it both of you ! We need to stick together on this. JACK : If I can't rely on you , if I don't have your complete trust you don't belong here, that goes for the rest of you. Anyone who agrees with Owen, leave now. Gwen, Ianto and Tosh all look at Owen and look away, knowing they won't leave. Owen nods to himself. OWEN : So now we know how it is, so that leaves me twenty four hours to savour the good times. GWEN : What you talking about ? OWEN : You know it Gwen. Nobody leaves this place intact. Sometime in the next twenty four hours, I get retconed, all my memories erased. I don't know where, or when, but he'll get me. GWEN : Jack,, this has gone far enough. Owen removes his gun from the back of his trousers and holds it briefly, really not wanting to leave but unwilling to back down and apologise to Jack. OWEN : Well, I guess this is goodbye. He puts the gun down and moves to leave. OWEN : Yeah, good luck with the end of the world. Owen pauses next to Gwen. OWEN : I would say thanks for the memories. Owen leaves the hub. GWEN : Jack ! For god's sake ! CUT TO: THE HUB - COG DOOR Owen exits through the cog door and when it shuts behind him he pauses, leaning on the banister and the wall fighting back tears before the lift opens. He stands in the lift for a moment before pressing the button, still unable to take any action against his removal. INT. SHOPPING ARCADE - DAY Jack and Gwen walk through a shopping arcade, Ianto directing them over the com. IANTO : (Over com) Okay guys, Bilis's shop is coming up twenty meters on your left. A sign outside Bilis's shop reads 'A Stitch In Time. Timepieces repaired and refurbished' - it is a watch and clock shop. Jack and Gwen enter the store which is filled with antique clocks. They glance around waiting for Bilis to enter without going to find him. GWEN : Wow. Some of this stuff must go back centuries. JACK : Scavenges antique pieces from the past, brings them here, sells them for profit, not a bad business plan. GWEN : Hum. Bilis enters the shop down a spiral staircase at the back. BILIS : We all have to earn a living. JACK : You're from 1941. BILIS : As you were. Hello again. Bilis walks between Jack and Gwen into his work area at the side of the shop. GWEN : How can you be in two time zones at once ? BILIS : I can step across eras, like you'd walk into another room. At first it was the most incredible gift, now I know the reality. It's a curse. GWEN : Why ? BILIS : I can see the whole of history, but I don't belong anywhere within it. So, you're return to this time had a price, time splintering. This city exists on a rift in time, the only way to make it right is to re-open that rift and let it suck back what fell through. JACK : No way. It's too dangerous. GWEN : Can we even do that ? BILIS : Of course you can. Isn't that right, Captain ? GWEN : Jack ? JACK : You've seen what happened, we open that rift fully, millions of lives will be at risk. BILIS : And yet if you don't, more will fall through, lives will be lost. Bilis speaks directly to the humanitarian in Gwen. Jack laughs in response and aims his gun at Bilis, seeing the attempt. Gwen steps back out of the way and Bilis holds his hands up in surrender. JACK : You know so much you're coming back with us. BILIS : I'm sorry. Bilis smiles and disappears. Gwen enters the room to wonder at his vanishing act and Jack holsters his gun. JACK : Damn it. Trace the temporal activity around this location, we need to find out where he is. Come on. Jack leaves the shop, Gwen backs out slowly, the clocks becoming deafening to her. She hears Bilis's voice say her name. As she turns to leave she nearly crashes into Bilis. Gwen goes for the door and Bilis reaches over to hold it shut. Gwen steps back to allow Bilis to talk. BILIS : I am not your enemy. GWEN : In the cells, why did you say you were sorry ? BILIS : Sometimes it's better to live in ignorance. Unless... do you really want to know ? GWEN : Know what ? BILIS : Hold my hands, I'll show you. GWEN : Okay. BILIS : Only if you're sure. GWEN : I'm sure. Bilis holds out his hands and Gwen takes them. Her eyes wide, Bilis shows her a vision of the future as he would have her believe it: Rhys lies on the floor of their flat in a pool of his own blood. Gwen rips her hands away terrified. BILIS : I'm sorry. GWEN : What did you just show me ? BILIS : The future. Gwen grabs open the door and sprints from the shop past Jack who walks along casually. JACK : What took you so long ? Gwen ? Jack starts to jog after her but she turns down an alley at the side of the arcade and Jack doesn't see where she goes. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. GWEN'S FLAT - ENTRANCE Gwen enters the flat and runs to the living room. She looks round unable to see Rhys until he looks up from the kitchenette. RHYS : Hey you. Gwen smiles in relief at the sight of him. GWEN : Yeah. It's me. Ah ! You're cleaning the oven ! RHYS : Aye, somebody's gotta love. Gwen grabs his arm. GWEN : We've gotta go. RHYS : Why, why ? What's happened ? GWEN : We've gotta go, that's all. RHYS : Well let me finish here first. GWEN : Rhys, we've gotta go, now. RHYS : Oh, here we go again, always in a hurry with you, every since you started that bloody job... Gwen takes a tranquiliser gun from her bag and shoots Rhys in the chest. Rhys collapses to the floor crying out quietly in painful surprise. GWEN : I'm sorry. INT. A BAR Owen leans on the bar, three empty glasses beside him as he holds his head. A voice whispers his name and he looks round. Diane stands next to him. DIANE : Owen. OWEN : Jesus, Diane. Oh, Jesus. DIANE : I'm lost, Owen. Owen reaches out to the vision. OWEN : I can touch you. I don't understand. Where did you end up ? DIANE : Please. Bring me back, Owen. You can do that can't you ? OWEN : Dunno. Everything's out of sync. DIANE : Please. Please, bring me back. Open the rift. A barman leans in between them to pick up a glass, unable to see Diane. BARMAN : You want another drink there mate ? When the barman leaves Diane is gone. Owen stands open mouthed, tears running down his cheeks, looking at the place Diane stood seconds before. INT. THE HUB - VAULT Gwen looks into a cell where Rhys lies. He wakes with a start and sees Gwen. GWEN : wow, take it easy. RHYS : What's going on ? Am I dreaming ? GWEN : This is where I work. RHYS : You work at a prison ? GWEN : These are just the cells. RHYS : You locked me in a cell ? What the hell are you playing at ? GWEN : I was just trying to keep you safe. RHYS : I was safe at home ! GWEN : No, you weren't. You really weren't. RHYS : Listen here, Gwen. You better tell me exactly what's going on, 'cause I've taken some sh1t through the last few months. I mean what's all this ? GWEN : Rhys, listen to me. I need you to trust me. Okay, it may not seem like it at the moment but I am just trying to take care of you. I love you, sweetheart. A howling echoes through the vault from an upper level and Rhys looks around. RHYS : What the hell was that ? GWEN : Just try and relax and I'll come back for you. RHYS : What do you mean ? You're not gonna leave me down here ! Gwen backs away from the cell towards the door. GWEN : I'm sorry. RHYS : Gwen ! Gwen ! GWEN : I'm sorry. Gwen leaves the vault, closing the door behind her leaving Rhys alone in his cell. RHYS : sh1t. INT. THE HUB- CENTRAL Gwen re-enters the main hub and goes to her station. Jack stands with Tosh and Ianto nearby. JACK : Did he wake up ? GWEN : Yeah. Yeah, he did. Tosh, can you bring up the CCTV of the vaults ? Toshiko nods and looks to her palm piolet. GWEN : Just leave it on the screen, I know it sounds crazy but... TOSHIKO : Sure, no problem. GWEN : Thank you, for helping me bring him here. TOSHIKO : I can't understand how Bilis was able to show you that vision. Gwen looks at Rhys on the CCTV, pacing his cell before sitting on the bunk with his head in his hands before she answers. GWEN : It was so real, Tosh. I was in my flat, it smelt of my flat, it had all of the sounds of my flat... Ianto looks uncomfortable and Jack walks over to Gwen as she gets more distressed recounting the vision. GWEN : ...I could touch the blood, I can still feel it on my hands. Rhys's blood. Jack takes Gwen's hand to comfort her. JACK : Not gonna happen. Gwen closes her eyes trying to believe him. JACK : Come on, there's still work to be done. Jack walks back over to Toshiko and Ianto. The lights go out and an alarm sounds. JACK : What's going on ? TOSHIKO : We've got a security breach. Toshiko and Ianto move to deal with the situation. JACK : Alright, nobody panic. Gwen runs past Jack back to the vault. GWEN : Rhys ! Jack chases Gwen from the room. CUT TO : VAULT The front of Rhys's cell swings open. He walks carefully to the entrance, looking around. He tries the vault door but it is locked down. He turns to see Bilis kneeling at the other end of the corridor, facing away from him. Bilis stands quickly and turns to Rhys. RHYS : Oh, do you work here ? Bilis smiles tightly without answering and walks towards Rhys with his hands clasped behind his back. RHYS : I'm Rhys, Gwen's boyfriend. Bilis walks quickly to Rhys without responding, when he gets close he thrusts a knife into Rhys's stomach. Rhys steps backwards pulling free from the knife, glancing from the blood seeping from the wound to his attacker. Bilis impassively steps closer and pushes the knife into Rhys's chest, up into his heart. Rhys falls to the floor, dying. Bilis calmly walks away wiping the knife with a hanker chief. Bilis disappears. [SCENE_BREAK] THE HUB - CENTRAL Toshiko and Ianto are at their stations, the power returns unaided and they look to each other in confusion. CUT TO : VAULT. Gwen rushes into the vault, closely followed by Jack. She sees Rhys's body on the floor. In a pool of blood the same as in her vision. GWEN : No ! Gwen grabs ar Rhys's body, trying to pull him to her while shouting incoherently. Jack tries to pull Rhys back away from her. She turns to Jack in desperation. GWEN : We can bring him back ! Jack holds Gwen's cheek, forcing her to look at him. His eyes are wet with tears knowing that he has failed her. JACK : There's nothing we can do. Gwen clings to the body screaming. INT. THE HUB - AUTOPSY ROOM Rhys's body lies on the autopsy table. Toshiko and Ianto stand on the stairs looking on. Gwen sits next to Rhys holding his forehead and gazing at his face, trying to take in his death. Jack cleans the blood from her other hand. GWEN : I'll have to tell his family. IANTO : We'll deal with it. GWEN : The way you dealt with that porter the first time I met you ? No, you won't deal with him, Ianto. TOSHIKO : Gwen, I'm so sorry. Gwen laughs at Toshiko. GWEN : You never even met him. Jack stops cleaning Gwen's hand and moves away. GWEN : This is what happens here. We all end up alone. Not me. No way. You bring him back. JACK : No. GWEN : The resurrection gauntlet... IANTO : Was destroyed. GWEN : We've got to have something else. JACK : I said no. GWEN : Well, there's something wrong with time so, er, we can go back and, to the moment, to the very moment... JACK : Gwen. GWEN : Well there's gotta be something that you can do otherwise, what's the fcking point of you ? Gwen lunges at Jack screaming and lashing out at him. Jack holds her gently from him while she struggles, before pulling her into a fight embrace. JACK : Sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. Tears stain Jack's face as he holds her crying to his chest. Owen runs into the autopsy room and stops at the top of the stairs at the scene before him. OWEN : sh1t. What happened ? TOSHIKO : You came back. Toshiko smiles broadly at Owen's return but he runs down the stairs to Gwen ignoring her. He pulls Gwen away from Jack and she pushes him away brutally. GWEN : Don't touch me ! OWEN : How many other people have gotta suffer ? Gwen returns to sit next to Rhys's body. Jack looks at Owen unspeaking. OWEN : I'm gonna fix this. I'm opening the rift. Owen walks back up the stairs to the main hub. Ianto looks at Jack and then follows Owen. JACK : Make sure you stop him. Ianto stops and turns to Jack. IANTO : No. Jack stares after Ianto as he leaves, not believing that even Ianto would side against him. Toshiko follows. TOSHIKO : I'm gonna help him. Gwen gets up and leaves the autopsy room quickly, pausing to speak to Jack as she leaves, madness colouring her eyes. GWEN : Bilis was right, he said open the rift and everything goes back to normal. Owen's right. I'm gonna get Rhys back. JACK : Gwen. Gwen ! [SCENE_BREAK] THE HUB - CENTRAL Owen types onto a computer to Ianto's instructions. IANTO : Enter emergency protocol one. Gwen pushes Owen from the keyboard and takes over typing. As the code is entered an alarm sounds through the hub. [SCENE_BREAK] THE HUB - AUTOPSY ROOM Jack picks up his gun and runs upstairs. [SCENE_BREAK] THE HUB - CENTRAL Gwen continues typing as Jack enters. Owen stands in front of him. JACK : Get away from the computer, Gwen. This is a trap, all these cracks around the world, they're diversions, this is what Bilis wants. OWEN : What are you afraid of, Jack ? Gwen continues typing regardless and the computer requests a password. Ianto leans over. IANTO : Rhea Silva. Gwen types in the code and Jack aims his gun at her. Owen backs out of the way. JACK : I said move. They all look round at Jack. TOSHIKO : What the hell are you doing ? JACK : Final warning. Gwen walks towards Jack, straight towards the gun. GWEN : Come on, Jack. JACK : You're a united front now. Toshiko, the poor girl who'll screw any passing alien who gives her a pendant; Owen, so strong he gets in a cage with a weevil, desperate to be mauled; Ianto, hiding a cyber girlfriend in the basement, your three comrades here pumped bullets into her, remember ? GWEN : I've gotta get Rhys back. Jack lowers the gun to look at Gwen. JACK : Yeah, 'cause you're so in love with Rhys that you spend half your time in Owen's bed. Gwen punches Jack hard in the face, knocking him to the floor in anger. Owen takes the gun and aims it at Jack. GWEN : f*ck you ! OWEN : We are relieving you of your command, Captain. We're opening that rift and getting back what we lost. Gwen returns to the computer which now reads 'retina prints of all Torchwood personnel required for authorisation. Enter'. GWEN : sh1t ! Jack starts to get to his feet, glaring at Owen. OWEN : Stay down ! JACK : You wanna be in charge, Owen ? You gotta have significantly bigger balls. Jack stands and Owen shoots him in the forehead. Jack falls to the ground dead and Owen fires two further shots. Toshiko puts her hands to her mouth in shock while Owen shakes holding the gun. OWEN : I am sick of people doubting me. Gwen slowly reaches to take the gun from Owen while Ianto moves to Jack, crouching down next to him. IANTO : What have you done ? They all stare at Owen in disbelief. They must continue what they started and all input their retina scans into the computer. GWEN : We've still gotta do Jack's. Owen scans Jack's eye. The scans are checked and the computer screen changes : 'Authorisation complete. Institute emergency protocol one ?' Gwen presses ok and a notice appears : 'Warning. Protocol activation will endanger Torchwood infrastructure'. Gwen glances at the rest of the team before her eyes land on Rhys's body, furthering her resolve. She presses return to institute the protocol. An alarm sounds immediately and the hub starts to shake as the rift starts to open. The guests in the vault start shouting as the team looks around them. Jack gasps back to life, Gwen screams as he grabs her ankle. The rest of the team stare at Jack shocked. OWEN : Oh my god ! JACK : What have you done ? Gwen looks round towards the water tower. Electricity sparks onto the tower from the surroundings and the water tower becomes a blaze of light, powering up the tower and into the sky, as the rift opens in earnest. The hub shakes more violently and the team rush to vacate the premises. The roman soldier vanishes from the cell - opening the rift did reverse the process. Gwen tries to pull up Jack, Ianto goes to help as the board room explodes in a shower of glass. GWEN : Help me move him ! Jack staggers through the hub towards Owen and Tosh, an arm slung around Ianto and Gwen's shoulders. Unseen by Gwen Rhys's body disappears from the autopsy room. Owen forces open the gates to the cog door. As Jack, Ianto and Gwen goes through Jack's office Ianto picks up Jack's coat and Jack pushes him in front as they go down the narrow stairs, gaining strength. JACK : Go. They exit the hub in a maze of falling walls. [SCENE_BREAK] NARROW BACK STREET - DAY Owen jogs down the street, Toshiko next to him. Jack, Ianto and Gwen bring up the rear, Jack still leaning on them for support. GWEN : It's alright Jack, everything is gonna go back to normal. Owen and Tosh stop and look ahead of them. Following their gaze Gwen moves away from Jack to stand between the others, leaving Jack to lean on Ianto. Bilis stands in the road looking at them, confidently. Gwen walks forward, stopping a distance away as Bilis speaks triumphantly. BILIS : From out of the darkness, He is come. GWEN : What is he talking about ? Gwen shouts in angry dismay, realising that she has been tricked by Bilis. BILIS : Son of the Great Beast. Cast out before time, chained in rock, and imprisoned beneath the rift. GWEN : What ! Bilis doesn't answer but stares upwards. BILIS : All hail Abadon. The Great Devourer... Gwen follows Bilis's gaze behind them, followed by the rest of the team. A huge horned beast towers above the buildings behind them striding towards them roaring, setting off car alarms as the ground trembles with each step. BILIS : ...come to feast on life. The whole world shall die beneath his shadow. Abadon roars down at them and moves away, striding over the city as the terrified public run screaming from him. As his shadow falls over them they fall to the ground dead. BILIS : And look upon him my god and know my work is done. Gwen hears Bilis vanish and turns slowly to check. She returns to the rest of the team, Jack now firmly back in charge. GWEN : How do we stop it ? Tell me what to do, Jack. Jack looks around at his team and makes no comment - allowing them to accept his leadership once more without telling them that he told them so. He lands his gaze on Gwen, knowing how to stop this monster. JACK : Just you. Get me to an open space. Gwen willingly drapes Jack's arm over her shoulder. EXT. HILLSIDE - OVERLOOKING CARDIFF Gwen speeds the SUV to a stop on a large piece of wasteland and Jack gets out of the vehicle. Abadon still moving over the city before them. Jack staggers away from the car and Gwen runs to him, afraid for him. GWEN : What are you gonna do ? JACK : Abadon is the bringer of death, let's see how he does with me. If he feeds on life, then I'm an all you can eat buffet. Gwen grabs Jack trying to stop him. GWEN : No wait, wait you're too weak. Jack forces Gwen's hands away and pushes her back towards the SUV, his eyes only on Abadon. JACK : Get out of here. Get, go ! Drive as fast as you can. Gwen stands where she is, watching Jack walk to the top of the hill to confront Abadon. GWEN : Jack ! JACK : Bring it on ! Abadon turns to Jack, sensing his life force and coming over to tower above him. As his shadow falls over Jack he feeds, howling as he pulls the life force from him until he collapses in his gluttony and disintegrates. Jack falls to his back, dead. Gwen runs to Jack's side and rocks his body in grief. INT. GWEN'S FLAT - DAY Gwen runs into her flat and sees Rhys in the living room. GWEN : Oh you're here. RHYS : Weren't you just here a minuet ago ? GWEN : You're here ! Gwen goes to Rhys and pulls him down for a kiss in relief. GWEN : Go to bed, get some sleep and I'll be back for you. Gwen kisses Rhys again before she leaves. INT. THE HUB - MORTUARY Jack lies on one of the shelves, Owen and Tosh standing to one side, Ianto on the other. Gwen walks towards them and stands next ot Ianto. She looks down on Jack, lying pale and dead. GWEN : You're certain ? OWEN : He's ice cold, no vital signs. GWEN : He survived when you shot him. When I first joined he said he couldn't die. OWEN : He was wrong. GWEN : I want to sit with him. Owen nods and moves away while Gwen strokes Jack's face lightly. Toshiko leave silently, leaving Gwen alone with Jack. Hours pass while Gwen paces the mortuary, waiting for Jack to come back and alleviate her grief and guilt. The others watch her from the central hub on a monitor. OWEN : How long is she going to do this ? Ianto glances at Owen, silencing him. Ianto tidies Jack's desk before picking up Jack's coat and holding to his face, a grief hidden from the others. Toshiko stands in the mortuary with Gwen. TOSHIKO : It's been days. We have to face up to it, he's not coming back. GWEN : I believe in him. TOSHIKO : Let him go, Gwen. Toshiko walks away. Gwen knowing Toshiko is right picks up Jack's hand and holds it to her face before leaning over and kissing him softly. She walks away. JACK : Thank you. Gwen stops in her tracks at the Jack's whisper and smiles. She jogs back to him and Jack grins at her. Jack holds Gwen's hand as they walk into the main hub. Toshiko looks over and runs to hug Jack when she sees him. Ianto sees and follows Toshiko, approaching Jack more slowly he reaches out to shake Jack's hand. Jack pulls Ianto into a hug before kissing him. Owen rounds a corner and sees Jack, half approaching. Jack walks to Owen and stands silently while Owen struggles to find words. JACK : I forgive you. Owen starts to cry and Jack pulls him into a fatherly embrace while the others watch. INT. JACK'S OFFICE - LATER Jack sits behind his desk flicking through papers. Gwen perches on the desk. GWEN : What's happened to the rift ? JACK : Closed up when Abadon was destroyed, but it's gonna be more volatile than ever. GWEN : The visions we had, we all saw people we loved. What did you see ? JACK : Nothing. There was nothing. GWEN : Jack ? What would have tempted you ? What visions would have convinced you to open the rift ? JACK : The right kind of doctor. Jack gets up from his desk, not wanting to share any more and leaves his office. GWEN : Jack. JACK : Where are they with those coffees ? An alarm sounds and Jack looks over at the hand in its jar. The light inside flashes slowly and Jack smiles slightly. Uncertain that it is really happening until he hears a sound in the distance - the TARDIS. A wind flows through the hub throwing papers to the floor. Gwen walks through the hub to where Jack was standing - he is no longer there. Toshiko, Ianto and Owen enter the hub through the cog door and Gwen walks down the stairs to meet them. GWEN : Did you see Jack on your way in ? TOSHIKO : No. OWEN : I thought we tided up in here. What's the matter ? GWEN : Erm, he was just here. Something's taken him, Jack's gone. CLOSING CREDITS GUEST CAST : Bilis Manger - Murray Melvin / PC Andy - Tom Price / Lisa - Caroline Chikezie / Diane Holmes - Louise Delamere / Doctor - Matthew Gravelle / Toshiko's Mother - Noriko Aida / Policeman - Russell Jones / Roman Soldier - Jamie Belton / Newsreader - Carrie Gracie / Weevil - Paul Kasey / Religious Woman - Rhian Wyn Jones. Please note that this script has been re-produced as accurately as possibly for [www.torchpedia.co.uk Torchpedia] from the televised episode. It is not a transcript of the original script by Chris Chibnall.	Plan: A: The increasingly fractured Torchwood team; Q: Who is faced with fragments of their pasts and visions of their futures? A: splintering time; Q: What does the Rift do to the world? A: boiling point; Q: When do the team's tensions reach what? A: Jack; Q: Who can save the planet from certain disaster without the support of his team? Summary: The increasingly fractured Torchwood team are faced with fragments of their pasts and visions of their futures when the Rift begins splintering time all over the world. When the team's tensions reach boiling point, can Jack save the planet from certain disaster without the support of his team?
[EXT. LAST VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BANK - DAY] (ROY LOGAN walks into the bank. He takes off his sunglasses and looks around. He's carrying a metal briefcase and appears to be very nervous. He glances up at the security camera, then approaches the bank teller.) Teller: Good afternoon. (ROY LOGAN puts his metal briefcase down.) Roy Logan: I need to ... uh ... make a withdrawal. (He places a withdrawal slip on the counter. It's dated 1-30-02 and for the amount of one million dollars ($1,000,000). There's a red smudge of blood on the bottom right corner of the slip.) (The teller takes the withdrawal slip.) Teller: I'll need to see some identification. (ROY LOGAN nervously clears his throat and reaches for his wallet. He takes out a Nevada Driver's License and puts it on the counter. The teller glances down at the license. She picks it up and turns to her monitor.) Roy Logan: There's sufficient funds in my account. Teller: Just have to clear it with my manager. (He picks up his metal briefcase and drops it flat on the counter, startling the teller.) Roy Logan: Is that going to take long? Teller: I'll be right back. (The teller leaves ROY LOGAN and meets with her manager. She interrupts him while he meets with another client where they have an indistinct conversation in the back. The client walks away. The TELLER and the MANAGER glance over at ROY LOGAN. The conversation in the back continues. ROY LOGAN looks nervous and impatient.) Roy Logan: (yells) Is there a problem here?! Manager: It's a lot of money, Mr. Logan. It's going to take some time. (ROY LOGAN nods his head and looks down at the ground. He's trying to be patient. He glances up at the bank's clock. 4:50 p.m. He breathes out. He glances at the security camera again.) (Cut to Security Camera black and white POV of ROY LOGAN at the counter with a time stamp on the bottom right corner: 4:50 PM.) (Dissolve to same Security Camera POV with time stamp reading: 5:14 PM. ROY LOGAN hands the metal briefcase to the manager over the counter.) (Dissolve to time stamp reading: 5:22 PM. ROY LOGAN impatiently glances at his watch.) (Dissolve to time stamp reading: 5:36 PM. ROY LOGAN is still waiting for the briefcase.) (Dissolve to time stamp reading: 5:49 PM.) RESUME TO REGULAR CAMERA VIEW: (Cut to Close up of the MANAGER'S hands stacking the bills into the briefcase. He finishes and closes the case. ROY LOGAN sighs with relief. The MANAGER puts the case on the counter in front of ROY LOGAN.) Manager: Mr. Logan, would you like an escort to your car? (ROY LOGAN doesn't say anything. He takes the case off the counter and leaves.) (Cut to top view of ROY LOGAN walking toward the front door. The security guard opens the doors for him.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PARKING LOT OUTSIDE BANK - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (ROY LOGAN walks out along the sidewalk and to his car. He's just about to get into his car when he turns and sees a police car in the background. We can hear the indistinct sounds of the police radio transmissions.) (ROY LOGAN pauses for a moment, then opens his car door and gets inside. He puts the metal briefcase on the passenger seat next to him. He closes the door and starts his engine. The tires screech as he reverses out of the parking stall.) (As he exits the parking lot, the police car in the background turns into the bank's parking lot. The sirens and lights turned on, the police car follows.) (ROY LOGAN goes out the other exit and is blocked by a parked car in front of him. Sandwiched between the cars, one in front and the other behind him, he slams on the breaks. He hits his steering wheel with his hands in frustration.) (The POLICE OFFICER gets out of his car and cautiously approaches ROY LOGAN.) Police Officer: Everything all right, sir? (ROY LOGAN'S cell phone starts to ring. The POLICE OFFICER glances at the phone in the car.) Police Officer: Do you want to get that? (ROY LOGAN doesn't move to answer the phone. The POLICE OFFICER looks inside the car and notices the blood on ROY LOGAN'S hands.) Police Officer: I think you should step out of the car. Keep your hands where I can see them. Let's go. (The POLICE OFFICER opens ROY LOGAN'S car door. ROY LOGAN gets out of the car with his hands raised. He doesn't say anything and stands against the wire fence.) Police Officer: Up. (Camera focuses briefly on ROY LOGAN'S frustrated look and then to the dried blood stains on the palms of his hands.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT -- HALLWAY] (CATHERINE and GRISSOM walk through the hallway to the interrogation room. They're both carrying their kits.) Catherine: So how rich is this guy? Grissom: Well, he had a million dollars in his checking account. Catherine: Who doesn't? Grissom: He's a real estate developer. On the mayor's committee to revitalize downtown. Catherine: And he hasn't said a word to anyone? Grissom: Nope. That's why we're here. (They open the door to the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (ROY LOGAN sits at the table. He looks up when the door opens. GRISSOM and CATHERINE walk in. They set their kits down at the back of the room.) Roy Logan: No... I'm not saying anything without my lawyer. (GRISSOM turns around and continues to get ready.) Grissom: You don't have to say anything. (They both put on their latex gloves.) Catherine: Mr. Logan ... would you please put your hands out? Palms up. (CATHERINE opens a bottle. ROY LOGAN puts the glasses that he was fiddling with down on the table. He nervously looks up at the wall clock. It reads 6:20 pm. He holds out his hands. Palms up.) (CATHERINE swabs his left palm then caps the swab tip.) Catherine: I'm also going to need you to strip. Roy Logan: What? (CATHERINE looks down at ROY LOGAN. ROY LOGAN looks over at GRISSOM. GRISSOM shrugs.) Grissom: Vegas. (Camera holds on ROY LOGAN'S confused look.) HARD CUT TO: END OF TEASER. ROLL TITLE CREDITS. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT -- INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT] (CATHERINE snaps a photo of MR. LOGAN'S bare back.) Catherine: Thank you, Mr. Logan. You can put your shirt down. Left arm out, please. (ROY LOGAN sighs. He holds out his left arm. CATHERINE looks at it. She take a picture of it. Behind them, GRISSOM is looking through ROY LOGAN'S clothes.) Catherine: Right arm. (ROY LOGAN drops his left arm and holds out his right arm. CATHERINE again looks at it then takes a picture.) Catherine: No visible injuries. Grissom: No blood on his clothes. Roy Logan: How long is this going to take? (GRISSOM holds out ROY LOGAN'S clothes. ROY LOGAN takes them from him. The clock on the back wall reads: 6:30 PM.) Grissom: Sorry for the inconvenience. (ROY LOGAN puts his clothes down on the table intending to put them back on. The door opens and PAUL, ROY LOGAN'S ATTORNEY, walks in.) Paul: What the hell is going on here? Roy Logan: Paul, get me out of here, now. Paul: Roy, put your clothes back on. Don't say another word to these people. (to the CSIs) I'm taking my complaint directly to the District Attorney. You had no grounds to detain Mr. Logan let alone disrobe him. (PAUL hands GRISSOM a business card. ROY LOGAN hurriedly puts on his clothes. GRISSOM looks at the card.) Grissom: His hands were covered in blood and he had a million dollars in his briefcase. Paul: It's not a crime to be rich. Roy Logan: Where's my car? Paul: It's right up front. My secretary drove it here. (ROY LOGAN grabs his cell phone, picks up the metal briefcase and follows PAUL out the door.) Paul: (to GRISSOM) You're going to be hearing from us. (The two men leave.) Catherine: Didn't Shakespeare say "let's kill all the lawyers"? Grissom: Yeah. Henry VI. Where is he when we need him? [Quote Note: William Shakespeare's, The Second Part of King Henry the Sixth, Act IV, Scene 2: Dick the Butcher: The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. ] (CATHERINE puts on her coat. She hands something to GRISSOM.) Catherine: Yeah. Hey, can you do me a favor and drop this off at the lab? I'm due at a nursery rhyme recital. Lindsey's going to play the girl in the moon. Grissom: What happen to the man in the moon? Catherine: He got the mumps. (CATHERINE picks up her case and heads toward the door. She glances back at the room and notices that ROY LOGAN left his sunglasses on the table.) (She sighs and heads to pick them up.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE exits the building. She sees ROY LOGAN unlocking his car door and heads toward him.) Catherine: Mr. Logan! (His car alarm chirps and he has his car door open. He puts his case down and turns around. CATHERINE waves his sunglasses at him.) Catherine: You forgot your sunglasses. (She walks over to him and holds it out.) Catherine: Service-oriented policing. (ROY LOGAN shuts the car door closed and turns angrily to CATHERINE.) Roy Logan: You don't understand. Get away from me. (CATHERINE doesn't say anything. She puts the sunglasses in his left breast pocket and turns to leave. His cell phone rings. CATHERINE lingers.) (ROY LOGAN reaches into his jacket and answers it.) Roy Logan: Hello. (He pauses and listens. CATHERINE still hasn't moved. He turns to her and looks at her. He holds the phone out to her.) Roy Logan: It's for you. Catherine: What? (CATHERINE takes the phone from ROY LOGAN.) Catherine: (on phone) Hello Voice: (high-pitched and altered) Who are you? Catherine: (to phone) CSI three Willows. Who are you? Voice: (over phone) Are you a cop? Catherine: (to phone) Criminalist. Voice: (over phone) Good. Because if you had been a cop she'd already be dead. Catherine: (to phone) Who would be dead? Voice: (over phone) Do you have a weapon? Catherine: (to phone) Yes. Voice: (over phone) Then put it on the ground, along with your pager, cell phone and that case you're holding. Catherine: (to phone) Who is this? Voice: (over phone) Do it! We're watching you, CSI three Willows. Attempt to go back into the police station and we'll kill her. (CATHERINE looks around and doesn't see anything or anyone. She slowly puts her kit down on the ground.) Voice: (over phone) Attempt to contact any coworkers and we'll kill her. Any false moves at all, and Amanda is dead. (CATHERINE reaches into her coat pocket and takes out her cell phone and puts it on the case. She looks around again.) Voice: (over phone) Now get back in the car. You drive, anywhere but here and await my next call. (The person on the other end hangs up. CATHERINE pulls the cell phone away from her ear and closes it.) Roy Logan: What did he say? Is Amanda all right? (CATHERINE grabs the keys from ROY LOGAN.) Catherine: Let's talk in the car. (ROY LOGAN looks at CATHERINE for a very brief moment, then grabs his metal briefcase and heads for the passenger side of the car. CATHERINE opens the driver door. She gets in, starts the engine, then drives off.) (GRISSOM exits the building. He's surprised to see CATHERINE driving ROY LOGAN'S car. He watches the car exit the parking lot. He puts his kit down and pulls out his cell phone. He dials and listens as it rings.) (From somewhere to the left of him, he hears the chirp of a cell phone. He turns and sees CATHERINE'S stuff on the parking lot ground. He pulls the phone away from his ear, thoroughly concerned.) FLASH TO WHITE. [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM grabs his file from the reception area in the hallway and heads toward GREG. Through the glass, GREG sees GRISSOM and motions for him to come talk to him.) Grissom: What'd you find? Greg: The blood's female. Definitely not Logan's. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY] (BRASS and GRISSOM walk through the hallway.) Brass: I ran Roy Logan. No criminal record; no wants; no warrants. Grissom: The blood on his hand was female. Brass: The guy's married. He lives in Summerlin. He bucks up; got a seven year-old son. But I'll check him out. Grissom: What about the car? Brass: Code five: Keep vehicle under surveillance; do not make contact with occupants. You know, Catherine had a gun. She could've used it. (GRISSOM doesn't respond to this. He turns and walks away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROY LOGAN'S CAR -- NIGHT] (The car speeds down the street.) Catherine: You never answered my question. Who's Amanda? Roy Logan: Amanda's my girlfriend. (CATHERINE turns and looks over at ROY LOGAN, disapproval written all over her face.) Roy Logan: Yeah. I know, I know. My, uh, my wife doesn't know. Catherine: Somebody does. How did they make contact? (ROY LOGAN opens something. CATHERINE watches.) Roy Logan: I, uh, I probably left a dozen messages for her and, um, she, uh, never called me back so I went over to the condo ... to the condo and, uh ... this was waiting for me on the bed. I ... uh ... (ROY LOGAN holds out a small Altoid's shaped metal container with a severed index finger in it. CATHERINE looks at the finger for a long moment. A car horn beeps drawing CATHERINE'S attention back to driving.) Catherine: Got your attention. Roy Logan: My cell phone rang; it was the kidnapper. He said, uh, he wanted a million dollars in cash by the end of the day, or he would ... he would send me the rest of her. He said if I ... talked to he cops ... Catherine: Yeah, I heard that part. I need a drink. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINER -- NIGHT] Hank Peddigrew: I can't believe you called. I actually got you outside of work. (SARA smiles.) Sara: This is nice. Hank Peddigrew: I don't normally date women from work but there was ... something about you. And it definitely wasn't your perfume. (SARA laughs and coughs.) Sara: I cannot believe you brought that up. (Cut to CATHERINE and ROY LOGAN getting out of the car just outside the diner.) (Cut back to SARA.) Sara: Yeah, that-that-that, uh, day we met that-that was, that was very gross. (Cut to CATHERINE and ROY LOGAN crossing the street toward the diner.) Sara: Um... I mean, not for me but for everyone else ... for you ... (The door to the diner opens. CATHERINE and ROY LOGAN walk in. SARA and HANK occupy the first booth closest to the door. SARA definitely notices that it's CATHERINE.) (CATHERINE doesn't acknowledge SARA. She and ROY LOGAN take two seats at the counter. SARA watches them walk by.) Hank Peddigrew: Isn't that one of your coworkers? Sara: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINER - COUNTER - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE grabs a menu off the counter.) Catherine: We don't know how long it's going to be before he calls. Why don't you order something? Roy Logan: You expect me to eat? We should be in the car, waiting by the phone. Catherine: I have the phone. Do us both a favor: Relax. Waitress: What can I get you? Catherine: Um, two glasses: One with ice; one without. Roy? Roy Logan: Uh, coffee. Black. Catherine: So, let's get to know each other. You first. (ROY LOGAN looks at CATHERINE without saying anything.) Catherine: You were born; you came home from the hospital. Then what? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE] (GRISSOM sits behind his desk. WARRICK and NICK stand in front of it.) Warrick: Maybe he wanted to confess. Take her to the body. Nick: Catherine wouldn't have left her stuff behind. (BRASS appears in the doorway.) Brass: Hey. I sent a patrolman to Logan's house. Talked to Mrs. Logan. She's in perfect health. She's not our vic. Warrick: So what do we do now? Nick: We wait. Right? Grissom: Yeah. We don't have a crime yet. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINER -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE pours some of the ice into the empty glass. Catherine: Give me the finger. (ROY LOGAN looks at CATHERINE. CATHERINE meets his look. ROY LOGAN reaches into his pocket and takes out the case with the finger in it. He passes it to her under the counter. CATHERINE takes one of the glasses.) Roy Logan: What if somebody sees you? Catherine: I got to preserve this evidence. (She reaches for the other glass of ice. The cell phone rings. CATHERINE puts the empty glass back on the table then reaches for the cell phone.) Catherine: Hello. Voice: (altered) (from phone) Take Boulder Highway South till it intersects ninety-three. Take the Yucca Exit, East, one mile. You'll see a sign: Horseshoe Tavern. You have one hour. (CATHERINE hangs up and puts the cell phone back down on the counter.) Roy Logan: What'd he say? (CATHERINE reaches into her pocket and pulls out some bills. She tosses the money on the counter.) Catherine: Let's go. (ROY LOGAN takes his metal briefcase and stands up. CATHERINE also gets up to follow. She's holding the glass of ice with the finger in it.) (As she passes SARA'S table, she casually and deliberately puts the glass in front of SARA.) Hank Peddigrew: Is that a finger? (SARA picks up the glass and looks at it. She then looks up at the door. (Cut to SARA exiting out the Diner (#25861). She sees ROY LOGAN get into the passenger side of the car, the car door close and drive off. SARA looks down at the glass in her hand.) HARD CUT TO BLACK. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROY LOGAN'S CAR -- NIGHT] Catherine: Open the briefcase. I've got an idea. (ROY LOGAN opens the briefcase and CATHERINE reaches inside. She takes out a glo-paint marker.) Catherine: I use this to paint my daughter's face. She was playing the moon tonight in the school play. I missed it. Mark the edges of the money. (CATHERINE hands the glo-paint marking tool to ROY LOGAN. He doesn't say anything. He starts to mark the money.) Catherine: Do you got any kids? Roy Logan: Yeah, I've got a son. He's a soccer freak. His life's ambition is to be Roberto Baggio. (Up ahead, ROY LOGAN sees a cop car parked on the side of the road.) Roy Logan: Hey, there's a cop. There's cop. Slow down. Come on. We don't want to be pulled over. If we're seen with a cop, Amanda's dead. (Cut to the officer inside the car as he notices the car passing him by. Nothing out of the ordinary. The car continues down the road.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] Nick: (o.s.) Catherine didn't say anything? Sara: She barely made eye contact. She dropped the finger on the table and walked out. Grissom: Where is it? Sara: Locked up at the coroner's lab, waiting for Dr. Robbins. Unless you want me to wake him up in Kansas City. Brother's wedding, back tomorrow ... Grissom: It was the right index finger? Sara: Top half severed just below the right inter-costal joint. Grissom: Any hemorrhagic tissue? Sara: Yeah, I couldn't tell. There was blood, though. Grissom: How did Catherine seem? Sara: Like I told Nick, she completely ignored me. Grissom: And her behavior toward Logan? Was she under duress? Agitated? Sara: No ... no, looked to me like Catherine was running the show. Grissom: A severed finger, a million bucks. And Catherine's not allowed to talk to anyone. Nick: Kidnapping? Warrick: So, who's worth one mil? Grissom: It's time to speak to his wife. Nick: I'll call Brass. (NICK pulls out his cell phone.) Sara: (wondering) It's a bit of a coincidence, though, don't you think? Catherine just showing up at the diner. It's not like she knew I was going to be there. Nick: I knew. (NICK puts the cell phone to his ear and walks away. WARRICK looks at SARA who in turn gives him a stern look and whacks him on his shoulder as she leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROY LOGAN'S CAR - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (The car drives up to the US 93 intersection. To the left, Yucca Ravine, to the right, Carson City.) Roy Logan: That's it-- yucca. Catherine: One more mile. (CATHERINE clears the odometer from the current reading 9762 and sets it back to zero. She turns right and continues down the highway.) (Cut to a close up of the odometer at 0.9. Just as soon as CATHERINE sees the horseshoe marker, she hits the breaks sending the car into a screeching halt. ROY LOGAN looks at CATHERINE in surprise.) Roy Logan: Are you crazy? Catherine: Sorry, it's been a while since I've driven a sports car. (CATHERINE reaches over and takes the marking tool back from ROY LOGAN.) Catherine: Thanks. [EXT. HORSESHOE TAVERN - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (They get out of the car. CATHERINE casually turns and looks at the skid marks she left behind. CATHERINE shuts her car door. They both start walking toward the meet site. CATHERINE reaches into her pocket and takes out a pair of gloves. As she walks, she drags her feet making large impressions in the direction she's walking.) (She glances back at her impressions and continues.) (They soon reach a wire fence with a "No Trespassing" sign on it blocking the road. They pass the gate. Over on the hill, another car with its lights on is parked. A figure wearing a rabbit outfit emerges from the car. The figure pauses by the car door and inhales something from a tube. The figure turns and makes its way over the hill wearing the rabbit mask, a trench coat and carrying a rifle at its side.) Voice: (altered) The briefcase. (ROY LOGAN takes a step forward. CATHERINE stops him.) Catherine: First we need to see Amanda. Voice: (altered) Hand over the money get back in the car, and drive to a pay phone. The gas-and-go station Highway 582, South of Henderson. I will call you. I will tell you where she is. Catherine: No. We need something more than just your word. Voice: (altered) Then she's dead. (The figure turns to walk away. ROY LOGAN rushes forward.) Roy Logan: No, wait! (ROY LOGAN reaches the figure and hands over the briefcase. CATHERINE sighs. He backs up and returns to CATHERINE.) Roy Logan: The gas-and-go station, Highway 582, South of Henderson. (CATHERINE shakes her head. ROY LOGAN hurries past CATHERINE and heads back to the car. Up on the hill, the rabbit-figure turns and walks back to the car.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MRS. LOGAN'S HOUSE - DRIVEWAY - DAY] (MRS. DIANE LOGAN exits the house. She walks to the car in the driveway. BRASS and NICK walk up the driveway.) Brass: Mrs. Logan? Diane Logan: Yes? Uh, one minute, please. (to her son) Oh, come on, honey, last time you got food all over the place, your father spent a fortune detailing the car. (DIANE LOGAN shuts the car door.) Brass: Mrs. Logan, I'm Jim Brass, Las Vegas PD. This is Nick Stokes, crime lab. Nick: Hi. Brass: Have you heard from your husband? Diane Logan: No. Brass: When he didn't come home last night did you find that unusual? Or maybe you're used to it. (NICK peers into the car where he sees the little boy eating his sandwich. The little boy looks up at NICK.) Diane Logan: Look, our lawyer has advised me not to speak to the police. (DIANE LOGAN shuts the back door closed.) Diane Logan: And until I hear from Roy, that's exactly what I'm going to do. Nick: How about if we just have a look around? Diane Logan: I don't think so. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS DESERT (STOCK) -- DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. GAS 'N GO STATION - DAY] (The old gas station is closed and abandoned. ROY LOGAN and CATHERINE park their car outside and squeeze through the fence to gain entrance to the gas station.) (They look inside the windows.) Roy Logan: I don't see a phone. (They search around the area.) Roy Logan: Where's the phone? (Out behind the gas station is an old telephone booth. ROY LOGAN spots it and runs to it. He lifts the phone and notices that it's severed from the box.) Roy Logan: (frustrated) Dammit. They set us up. She's dead. I knew it! Catherine: (reasons) He had a shot gun. If all he wanted was the money, we'd both be dead. (ROY LOGAN steps out of the telephone booth. CATHERINE steps inside and looks around. She notices something stuck in the yellow pages. It's a map of the location where AMANDA FREEMAN can be found. From the I-93 through the Texas Acres, through the Easelwood Hwy, toward the Easelwood Reservoir.) Catherine: Give me the phone. Roy Logan: (resists) No, no, no-- no, no! He said no phone calls. They may be watch ... Catherine: We're past that. Give me the phone! Roy Logan: Listen, please. What if it was someone you loved? What if it was your daughter?! (CATHERINE doesn't say anything.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GREG is going over the blood test results with GRISSOM and NICK.) Greg: The blood from the finger was diluted due to the ice. But I made a positive match. Grissom: To the blood on Logan's hands. Greg: So it was kind of like Getty's ear? They cut it off, sent it to the house? Nick: Wife was way too cool to have seen a severed finger. I don't think so. Grissom: He's a real estate developer. Does he own any other properties? (NICK looks down at the papers in his hand.) Nick: Townhouse off Flamingo. Under the company name, not rented. Grissom: But occupied? Nick: I'll get a warrant. See if anybody's missing a finger over there. (NICK leaves the room. He bumps into WARRICK who is just stepping inside.) Nick: (to WARRICK) Hey. Warrick: (to NICK) Hey. (to GRISSOM) State troopers just spotted Logan's car on the 582. Drove past him earlier this morning. Five minutes later, drove past him again other direction. Grissom: Grab Sara. We're gone. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. HORSESHOE TAVERN - DAY] (GRISSOM'S Tahoe comes to a stop. Behind him is an accompanying officer car. GRISSOM, WARRICK and SARA exit the car. They immediately notice the tire treadmarks on the road.) (A camera flashes. SARA is kneeling next to the tire treadmarks and is snapping pictures.) (Quick CGI POV to the oil discharge in the treadmarks. End of CGI POV. Resume to SARA.) Sara: Thank you, Catherine. (SARA stands and heads further inside to where WARRICK is past the wire gate.) (SARA stops midway and looks down. She takes a picture and picks up the glo-marker tool from the ground. SARA stands and continues on her way toward WARRICK. WARRICK also snaps photos of the footprints in the ground.) Sara: She was burning some serious rubber. Definitely high-end tires -- there's colored flecks on the treads and they're fresh. (Up on the hill, GRISSOM examines the ground where the other car was. He looks down and finds a small discarded tube. He picks it up.) (Cut back to SARA.) Sara: It's got to be the Lexus. Does this mean anything to you? (SARA shows the glo-marker to WARRICK.) (Cut to GRISSOM examining the metal tube he found.) (Cut back to WARRICK.) Warrick: Looks like some kind of glow paint stick. I think Catherine dragged her heels a little bit here. Sara: Yeah. (GRISSOM starts to walk back to WARRICK and SARA.) Grissom: Helium canister. Warrick: You mean like helium for balloons? You can also use it to change the pitch in your voice. Grissom: The Lexus stopped there. (GRISSOM points behind them.) Grissom: Catherine walked up to here. (GRISSOM points to where WARRICK and SARA are standing. He turns around to look behind him.) [CLOSED CAPTIONED: GRISSOM: So the second set of fresh tire treads on the access road ... ] Grissom: Could be the kidnapper's. Sara: Looks like the drop-off went down. Warrick: Then why hasn't Catherine contacted us yet? (GRISSOM shakes his head slightly and doesn't respond.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. AMANDA FREEMAN'S RESIDENCE -- DAY] (NICK walks up to the front door. He knocks on it and pushes it open.) Nick: Criminalistics. Anybody home? (NICK enters the house. He puts his kit down near the door. He moves in further and pulls out a pair of gloves.) Nick: Okay ... talk to me. (NICK jumps as a loud squawk comes from behind him. He turns around and sees a white cockatoo in a cage. The bird squawks softly at NICK. NICK looks around and sees the answering machine on the counter.) (NICK checks the messages.) Roy Logan: (answering machine) Amanda, hi, it's Roy. Where are you? Call me on the cell. (NICK sees the purse on the table and picks up the wallet. He opens it. It's AMANDA FREEMAN'S Nevada Driver's License. In the background the answering machine beeps and the next message comes on.) Roy Logan: (answering machine) Amanda, I thought you'd be home all day. I wanted to swing by. Call me. (NICK sees two wine glasses on the table next to an open bottle of wine.) (Quick camera close up to the lipstick stains on both glasses.) Mark: (answering machine) Amanda, it's Mark. At the gym. You missed your session. Call to reschedule. (The answering machine hits a dial tone. NICK is once again startled by the cockatoo's squawk behind him. He turns around.) Nick: Too bad you can't talk. Maybe you could tell me where she is. (NICK walks over to the bird cage. He smiles at the bird then notices something else ... blood on the front of the bird's feathers.) (Camera holds on NICK.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS DESERT - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EASELWOOD RESERVOIR -- DAY] (ROY LOGAN'S Lexus pulls up to the old abandoned Reservoir.) (Cut to CATHERINE and ROY LOGAN walking through the area searching for AMANDA FREEMAN.) Catherine: Well... according to the map she should be somewhere around here. Roy Logan: (yells) Amanda! Amanda! (CATHERINE looks around and sees the grill.) Catherine: Why don't you give me a hand? (They open the grill. They look inside and on the bottom, floating in some water, is AMANDA FREEMAN. She appears to be dead.) (ROY LOGAN gets up and staggers around, distraught.) Roy Logan: Oh, god ... oh, god ... (CATHERINE isn't happy with the discovery.) (Cut to a view of the body floating in the water.) (ROY LOGAN sits down some distance away. He puts his head in his hands. CATHERINE gets up, walks over to him and puts her arm around his shoulders.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY] Robbins: The finger was severed postmortem. No hemorrhagic tissue at the point of injury. And they used a serrated blade. Jagged teeth patterns on the bone. Not much else I can tell you. It's just a finger. (GRISSOM'S cell phone rings.) Grissom: (to phone) Grissom. (pause) Thank god. INTERCUT WITH: Catherine: There was a kidnapping. Grissom: I know -- Amanda Freeman. She's dead ... and whoever touched the money probably has glow-in-the-dark paint on their hands. Catherine: You got my clues? Grissom: Yeah, nicely done. I know just about everything except ... where are you? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY TO BREAK ROOM] (CATHERINE and WARRICK walk through the hallway to the break room.) Warrick: She ate, but she didn't fall asleep till way late. We had her helping Greggo out in the lab. Catherine: I bet she loved that. Warrick: Yeah. (They reach the break room. Through the glass window, CATHERINE sees LINDSEY asleep on the couch. CATHERINE turns to WARRICK.) Catherine: I owe you. Thank you. (CATHERINE gives WARRICK a kiss on the cheek, then opens the door and slips inside the room. WARRICK leaves. CATHERINE sits next to her daughter and watches her sleep. She reaches out and touches her daughter's forehead. LINDSEY doesn't wake up.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY] (Just outside the doorway to the autopsy room, CATHERINE and GRISSOM are about to enter.) Grissom: So, you couldn't see what he looked like? Catherine: You're assuming it was a "he." Rabbit mask. Full-beam headlights. Truman Capote voice. Who can tell gender? (They enter the autopsy room and walk up to the table.) Robbins: Amanda Freeman. (ROBBINS matches the finger to her right hand. It appears to be a match.) Robbins: My guess is, she's been in the water about 24 hours. (ROBBINS turns and lifts the blanket covering the feet. It's big and wrinkled.) Robbins: Washerwoman effect. But no saponification. (ROBBINS opens the deceased's mouth and lifts up her tongue. GRISSOM leans in to get a better look. The camera moves in to show a bunch of puffy rice-shaped eggs under her tongue.) Grissom: Blowfly eggs? Robbins: Mm-hmm. Grissom: Unhatched ova. They're waterlogged. Robbins: I found some in her nose and trachea, too. The decomposing body would need time to attract the bugs before submersion. Well, she's been dead 48 hours 24 hours above water, 24 hours under. Catherine: Bloody nose, ecchymosis. She took a beating. Cause of death? Robbins: Blunt-force trauma. Back of the head. (ROBBINS puts his hand to the back of the deceased's head.) (Quick CGI POV camera moves from the back of her head, through the hair and to the bloodied scalp. A pair of tweezers pick up something small stuck in the scalp.) Robbins: Look at this. (ROBBINS holds it up.) Grissom: What is it? Robbins: You'll have to get it under the microscope. My guess is some form of stone. Granite maybe. Catherine: I'm going to head over to the townhouse check out those blood spots with Nick. (CATHERINE leaves the autopsy room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY JUST OUTSIDE AUTOPSY ROOM -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE steps out of the autopsy room carrying her jacket. ROY LOGAN is leaning against the wall waiting for her. He straightens when she walks out.) Catherine: Mr. Logan? Roy Logan: I need to see her. Please. (CATHERINE shakes her head.) Catherine: I wouldn't advise that. Roy Logan: Look, she ... was my life. I loved her. Please? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- FORENSIC AUTOPSY] (ROY LOGAN enter the autopsy room. GRISSOM and ROBBINS look up from the body. GRISSOM looks concerned at the interruption. ROY LOGAN walks up to the side of the table.) Roy Logan: Ooh ... ooh ... it's my fault. If I'd only ... gotten to her sooner. If I'd only paid them sooner ... Grissom: It wouldn't have made any difference. She was killed long before you could have helped her. Roy Logan: When? Where? Catherine: You've got to give us time. Why don't you go home, get some sleep? Roy Logan: (to CATHERINE) I-I don't think I can face my wife right now. (CATHERINE escorts ROY LOGAN out of the room.) Catherine: This town is full of hotels. Roy Logan: All right. You can find me at the Tangiers. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. AMANDA FREEMAN'S RESIDENCE -- DAY] (NICK is in the living room spraying the rug looking for blood evidence. The rug glows. NICK also notices the crack on the table in the area where the blood is.) Catherine: Marble. Nick: Good to see you again. Yeah, somebody hit the table. There's obvious signs of a struggle. Catherine: Kidnapper probably broke in. She made a run for it. Got hit in the face. Went down. (Quick flashback to someone hitting AMANDA FREEMAN in the face. She falls to the floor and hits to table on her way down.) Nick: Blood pool here. Spatter all the way to the bird. Birds have blood feathers and flight feathers. Flight feathers don't bleed. No capillaries, just cartilage. Catherine: And you know this from ... ? Nick: Discovery channel. Catherine: So, how did the killer get the body out of the house? Nick: There's no blood trail from here to the door, so my guess is he wrapped her in something. Catherine: Bedsheets? Nick: Checked. Bed's still made. Linen closet's full. Not to mention, a wet sheet leaks. Catherine: Plastic, maybe. If she was murdered here her finger was severed here where are the knives? (NICK picks up one of the wine glasses. CATHERINE checks the kitchen drawers. Nothing. CATHERINE opens the dishwasher and finds all the knives in them washed clean.) Catherine: Clever. Kidnapper washed all the knives. Nick: Why wash the knives and leave the wine glasses? Catherine: Get those glasses to Greg. (CATHERINE looks around the apartment. She looks at the photos on the refrigerator. One of them shows AMANDA FREEMAN posing for the cameraman in the shower.) CUT TO BATHROOM: (NICK pushes the shower curtain aside. Camera focuses on the top of the shower hook where a piece of the liner is still attached to the hook. NICK picks off the piece.) Nick: Yeah, looks like someone ripped the liner out. Catherine: He wrapped her in it. Nick: Must've gotten dumped when she did. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS DESERT (STOCK) - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. STORM DRAINS -- DAY] (WARRICK turns the corner. SARA'S behind him.) Warrick: Watch your step. Sara: Thank you. (They find the shower liner caught in the storm gate. WARRICK picks it up.) Warrick: All right. (SARA nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (BRASS and GRISSOM walk through the hallway.) Brass: Ran Amanda Freeman's phone records. Creature of habit. Mother, gym, Logan, pizza. But the last call made from that house was to a cell phone we traced to Mrs. Logan. (They meet up with CATHERINE who stops them.) Catherine: Greg got saliva off the wine glasses. Ran the DNA. One was Amanda, and the other a woman. Grissom: Mrs. Logan, maybe. They would have had a lot to talk about. Catherine: Or fight about. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CSI - LAYOUT LAB] (SARA and WARRICK examine the shower curtain liner they found.) (SARA finds something.) Sara: Looks like a small tear. (Camera close up of the tear.) Warrick: Looks more like a slice. Could've happened when he cut through her finger. (Quick CGI POV of a finger being sliced off and blood. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) (SARA looks at WARRICK.) (WARRICK moves to another spot on the curtain.) Warrick: Does this look like blood to you? Sara: If the body was wrapped with this side that's on the outside. (SARA flips the portion of the sheet over. They put on their protective eyewear and turn on the ALS. It doesn't glow.) Sara: It's not blood. Warrick: Yeah. (SARA takes a sample of it.) Sara: This is a grease stain. It's got an oily residue. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (The Agilent Technologies (tm) machine picks up the vial and starts processing its contents. The machine prints out the results. GREG looks at it.) Greg: Did you guys clean the table before putting the curtain on it? Sara: Yeah. Greg: 'Cause I think your evidence got contaminated. Warrick: With what? Greg: Oleic acid. Goes well with jelly. Sara: Peanut butter. Warrick: Great. (WARRICK looks up and sees NICK walking by.) Warrick: Hey, Nick? Nick: Yeah? Warrick: Have you been eating peanut butter in the layout room? Nick: No, man, I hate the stuff. Warrick: Well, we found it on the back of that shower curtain. (Quick flashback to ROY LOGAN'S son eating his sandwich in the car. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: Mrs. Logan scolded her son for eating in the car. Peanut butter and jelly. Said her husband just had the car detailed. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- GARAGE] (SARA, WARRICK and NICK are examining the LOGANS' car.) Warrick: I need to take my car to this detailer. Not bad. Nick: Come on. (Quick CGI POV to the car carpet being detailed. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) Nick: (V.O.) You know that treating the surface with a carpet cleaner only pushes the dirt further down? (They find the stain.) Nick: Warrick, you got those box cutters? (NICK cuts out the carpet with the stain in it. He holds it.) Nick: Did I mention how much I hate peanut butter? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY] Catherine: Mrs. Logan, do you know Amanda Freeman? Because she called you on your cell phone the day she was murdered. Paul: Could have been a wrong number. Grissom: Then, uh, what did you talk about for three minutes and fifty-five seconds? Catherine: We could compel a DNA sample which would confirm that you had a glass of wine with her that night. Paul: Is it your intention to charge my client with Miss Freeman's kidnapping? Grissom: I think you went to your husband's townhouse -- a townhouse you probably didn't know he had - and a civilized drink turned into a violent brawl. (Quick flashback to the two women fighting. AMANDA FREEMAN gets hit and falls down. She hits her head on the table before hitting the floor. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: You tore down the shower curtain wrapped the body in it. (Quick flashback to AMANDA FREEMAN'S body on the shower curtain and DIANE LOGAN wrapping her up in it. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: Cut off her finger, stuck it in a mint tin and left it for your husband. Catherine: You transported the body to the reservoir in the back of your SUV where some of your son's PB and J made it onto the shower curtain. Diane Logan: Are you finished? Paul: Diane? Diane Logan: I had my drink with Miss Freeman. I listened to her rantings about how she and Roy were getting married. Paul: That's enough, Diane. Diane Logan: And I set her straight. Roy was not going to leave me for her. He loved his money more than both of us. I told her I was going to evict her from that tacky little townhouse and then Roy came in. You should have seen the look on his face. (Quick flashback to DIANE LOGAN turning around to find ROY LOGAN in the doorway. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Diane Logan: And I-I left them there to work it out. Paul: Okay ... if you don't have anything else? Catherine: One more thing. Mrs. Logan, can you hold your hands out palms up? Jim, can you hit the lights? (BRASS turns off the room lights.) Paul: We don't have time for these games. Okay, you satisfied? (PAUL reaches up to pull DIANE LOGAN'S hands away from the table when GRISSOM immediately spots it.) Grissom: Whoa! (GRISSOM reaches over and pulls PAUL'S hand over the light where we see the glo-stick marker all over the palms of his hands.) Paul: Look, I can explain. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT -- INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY] (The rabbit mask hits the table. PAUL nervously takes off his glasses.) Paul: Look, I put on a mask I made some phone calls I took the money but I did not break any laws. Catherine: You killed Amanda Freeman. Paul: Oh, no. I didn't kill anybody. I didn't even know she was dead. I'm a lawyer. I work for my client. I did what he asked me to do. Catherine: Your client? Paul: Roy Logan. Catherine: What are you saying? That Mr. Logan paid you to dress up as a bunny rabbit? Paul: That was my idea. Grissom: So, Roy Logan set this whole thing up? Paul: Yes. It started with a phone call. I just did what my client asked. I just played a part. (Quick flashback to PAUL in his car putting on the rabbit mask and holding a presumably fake rifle. Flash to white. ROY LOGAN handing the metal briefcase to PAUL. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: So, basically, this was a stage play written by Mr. Logan. Paul: That's right. Now you got it. Grissom: During this elaborate farce you never thought to ask him why he was making you jump through these hoops? Paul: I don't get paid to ask. I get paid to do. Brass: What about the money? A million dollars cash? Paul: Well, Roy was having marital problems so I figured he was just hiding his assets. Brass: Where's the money now? Paul: In a locker. (PAUL puts the locker key on the table.) Paul: At his Country Club. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY] Brass: Where did Logan say he was staying? Grissom: The Tangiers. Catherine: I'll drive. Grissom: I'll follow the money. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - TANGIERS - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TANGIERS - HOTEL ROOM #1003- DAY] (CATHERINE knocks on the door.) Catherine: Mr. Logan? Open the door. Please. (The manager with the key unlocks the door. BRASS opens the door. No one's there. The room doesn't look like it's been used. CATHERINE checks the bathroom. Everything's bare.) Brass: I'll call down, see if his car's in the parking lot. Catherine: Fat chance. Son of a bitch. He had me completely fooled. Catherine: I bet that locker's empty, too. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LOCKER AT COUNTRY CLUB -- DAY] (GRISSOM opens the locker door. The camera is inside the locker facing GRISSOM. We see his unsurprised reaction at finding the locker empty. He shuts the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE -- DAY] Grissom: Okay, let's run this. Amanda was tired of being number two, so she calls up Mrs. Logan to discuss her affair with her husband. (Quick flashback to AMANDA FREEMAN and DIANE LOGAN drinking wine from the wine glasses. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: But Mrs. Logan doesn't just discuss it she throws down the gauntlet. (Quick flashback.) Diane Logan: He's not going to leave me for you. Amanda Freeman: He already has. Diane Logan: No, he ... (AMANDA FREEMAN looks up past DIANE LOGAN. DIANE LOGAN turns around and sees ROY LOGAN standing in the doorway. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Amanda broke the only rule. Don't call the missus. (Quick flashback to ROY LOGAN fighting with AMANDA FREEMAN and knocking her down. AMANDA FREEMAN hits the table before hitting the floor. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: Now he really has a problem. Warrick: Two problems. His wife is going to leave him, take half his money and he was going to jail. Sara: You got to admit, his solution was ingenious. (Quick flashback to AMANDA FREEMAN on the ground, dead. ROY LOGAN sitting on the couch thinking about his next move. Grissom: (V.O.) Most killers take their time planning a murder. He took his time covering it up. (ROY LOGAN looks at his watch and starts planning.) Grissom: (V.O.) Forty-eight hours to be precise. (ROY LOGAN taking down the shower curtain liner. ROY LOGAN kneeling down and cutting AMANDA FREEMAN'S finger off. Flash to white. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: So Logan cleans up the crime scene and calls his lawyer. Asks him to help him with his little charade. I mean, what better way to protect your assets than to pay a kidnapper who's already on retainer? Catherine: Everything from that point on was calculated. (Quick flashback to ROY LOGAN making sure that there's blood on his hands. Flash to white.) Catherine: (V.O.) Blood on his hands ... (Cut to ROY LOGAN looking at the security camera in the bank. Flash to white.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... he's the last customer of the day at the bank Acting suspiciously ... (Cut to ROY LOGAN trying to get away from the police officer while leaving the bank parking lot. Flash to white.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... driving recklessly. (End of flashback. Resume to present. Warrick: He knew he'd get hauled in to the cops. (Quick flashback to ROY LOGAN picking up his cell phone off of the table and deliberately leaving his sunglasses behind. Flash to white. Resume to present.) Catherine: You bet your ass. He didn't leave those sunglasses behind by accident. His cell phone rang on cue. The call's for me. (Quick flashback to CATHERINE on the cell phone with the kidnapper. Resume to present.) Catherine: He practically forced that money into his lawyer's hands. Grissom: Out of one pocket into the other. (Quick flashback to ROY LOGAN chasing after the kidnapper and handing the briefcase to him at Horseshoe Tavern. Resume to present.) Grissom: I especially liked the little show he did for us in the coroner's lab. Trying to find out how much we knew. (Quick flashback to ROY LOGAN asking ... ) Roy Logan: When? Where? (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: Why make the map? Why lead Catherine to the body? Grissom: Because without the body, Logan would always be under suspicion. Sara: If not by the police, by his wife. Warrick: So, he left these wine glasses for you to find. Catherine: Sure, we wanted us to suspect the wife. That's why he used her SUV (Quick flashback to AMANDA FREEMAN'S body wrapped in the shower curtain being dragged into the SUV'S back seat.) Catherine: (V.O.) to transport the body. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: And he let me mark the money because he knew that eventually his lawyer would touch it. Sara: Why though? The money was in a suitcase. Warrick: A million dollars. Pretty tempting. Grissom: I saw the locker (Quick flashback to inside the locker at the Country Club and to someone trying to fit the large metal briefcase into it. PAUL taking the money out of the briefcase and stacking it inside the locker. His hands are all over the money.) Grissom: (V.O.) ... and I saw Logan's briefcase. It was too big to fit inside. His lawyer had to remove the cash by hand. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: How could he possibly know that Catherine was going to mark the money? Warrick: He didn't. He probably thought the bank marked it. Nick: Besides, there's always fingerprints. Catherine: So I did everything in my power to help him. Nick: Yeah, and he's probably long gone by now. (CATHERINE'S cell phone starts ringing. She answers it.) Catherine: Willows. (pause) Yeah. INTERCUT WITH: Officer: That's a beautiful car, that SC-430. Don't get to see a nice car like that in these parts too often. So when I see one twice in two days, I notice. Especially when the driver's exceeding the speed limit. (The officer looks at ROY LOGAN who's sitting in the back seat of his police car.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HOLDING CELL -- DAY] (The doors open. CATHERINE walks in. She walks up to the bars of the holding cell with ROY LOGAN in it. Catherine: Bravo. (ROY LOGAN looks at CATHERINE and walks up to the bars.) Roy Logan: You know, with all that money on my lap we could've driven to Mexico. Catherine: That's right. You're short one mistress. I got to hand it to you that was a brilliant performance. But then again, any man who juggles a wife and mistress and god knows what else has to be a pro. Roy Logan: I don't know. You get so used to lying you figure, what's one more? Catherine: Try explaining that to your son. (CATHERINE leaves.)	Plan: A: a kidnapper; Q: Who ordered Catherine to accompany a man who was to deliver $1 million in ransom to him? A: the man's mistress; Q: Who is the man ordered to deliver the ransom to kill? A: his mistress; Q: Who is the man ordered to deliver the ransom to already dead? Summary: Catherine is ordered by a kidnapper to accompany a man who is to deliver $1 million in ransom to him or else he will kill the man's mistress. But when the million is paid, they learn that his mistress is already dead.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Stiles: Remember, no wolf powers. No super-fast reflexes... Coach: From here on out, immediately, we're switching to co-captains. Congratulations, McCall. Stiles: Was that your first kiss? Lydia: You're a Katana-wielding, badass Kitsune. And he couldn't be more into you. Peter: Kate took him back to the age where he still knew her. When he still trusted her. They took it while I was blinded. Lydia: Took what? Peter: Bearer bonds. Stiles: Are you saying you got robbed? Peter: This was a heist. Somebody planned this. Sean: Willow! Willow! Mom, I can't find her. Mom? I'm going to bed. Hey, you. What are you doing under there? Oh, God! Help me... The Mute: Hello, Sean. I just killed your family. Do you want to die like them? Begging for your life? Or do you want to fight? I'll give you some help. Wrap a towel around your fist, smash the mirror. Use one of the shards to defend yourself. Go ahead. I'm waiting. Are you ready, Sean? Because here I come. Peter: That table's Italian. Braeden: So are these boots. Are we going to talk interior designing fashion or are we going to talk numbers? Peter: We're hiring you to find Kate, not assassinate the President. Braeden: I was hired by the Calaveras to find Kate. You're hiring me to find her first. Going against the Calaveras is what's going to cost you. Derek: We'll pay. Just find Kate, that's all we want. Peter: Are you insane? Derek: We don't have a choice. We spent a week looking for her and came up with nothing. Peter: If we don't find out, who told Kate about the vault, we don't get those bonds back! What do you think I'm gonna do then, huh? Get a job? My resume is slightly out of date. We got robbed, Derek. Robbed! Oh, that's a new look for you. What happened to your eyes? Derek: I don't know. But I'm willing to pay to find out. Stiles: Of course you're still the team captain. You got your grades up just like Coach told you to, right? Scott: Yeah, but he never told me I was back on the team. He just told me to show up at tryouts today. Stiles: We got bigger things to deal with anyway. Did you tell Argent yet? Scott: Ah. I texted him but he didn't get back to me. Stiles: You told him his sister Kate came back from the dead over a text? Scott: I didn't have the money to call France. Stiles: Yeah, you think you got money problems? Try paying for an MRI and a visit to Eichen House. Scott: Another notice? Stiles: Yeah, this one said, "Final." Now, what the hell are we even doing here anyway? We got like a 117 million problems and worrying about our status on the lacrosse team is not one of them. Scott: It is now. Stiles: Who the hell is that? Garrett: Nice, Liam. You might just be our first ever freshman captain. Stiles: Okay, maybe we should just practice a little bit. Doctor: The nursing staff's already spread too thin. I know there's never a good place to make cuts, but this hospital has seen a bizarre amount of damage and the insurance isn't going to cover it. We have to cut back. Melissa: Maybe I can pull some money from pediatrics... Doctor: Your shift is over. I'm exhausted just looking at you. Please go home and get some sleep. Melissa: Okay. I need to get some dinner first. Doctor: Melissa... It's 7:00am. Melissa: Now I know why he hasn't spoken a word to the psychologist yet. Sheriff: He's going to be in shock for a while, isn't he? Melissa: This was his whole family? Sheriff: Mother, father, older brother. Sean was the youngest. And the only one that got away. The question is from what? Melissa: From who? These wounds weren't caused by claws and fangs. These are deep cuts, a combination of sharp and blunt force trauma. Sheriff: That's what the ME said. Some kind of axe. I just need to make sure that we didn't have to, uh... Melissa: Involve the boys? Sheriff: Yeah. If this is everyday homicide instead of the supernatural kind, then maybe we can give them the day off from the world of murder and massacres. Melissa: When do we get a day off? Ms Yukimura: Your father's waiting for you outside. Kira: I know, I know! What is this? Ms Yukimura: A "For Sale" sign. It lets people know your house is for sale. Mr Yukimura: I thought you were going to talk to her. Ms Yukimura: Kira, we told you this was temporary. Kira: That was after you told me I was a kitsune, and was going to have to destroy a dark spirit by stabbing and killing one of the few friends I've made in this town. Ms Yukimura: And you didn't have to. I call that a win. Kira: We're not going back to New York. Ms Yukimura: And why would we stay? Kira: Because... Well... Dad's a very important teacher at the high school. Mr Yukimura: In New York, I was a professor at Columbia. Ms Yukimura: You'll make new friends. Kira: Not like these. You don't know them like I do. Lydia, Stiles, Malia... Ms Yukimura: And Scott? Kira: Who? Ms Yukimura: He wasn't your first boyfriend and he won't be your last. Kira: He's not my boyfriend. Stiles: Hey, Liam. You want to explain what that was out there? Liam: What do you mean? Stiles: That little display. Your little circus act. Liam: What circus act? Stiles: You caught every shot. Liam: I was in goal. Stiles: Yeah, but nothing, not a single shot got past you. Liam: Yeah, I was the goalie. You guys played this game before? Scott: You're a freshman, right? Liam: Yeah. Stiles: But you weren't here last semester. Liam: I transferred from Devenford Prep. Scott: You transferred? Liam: Yeah. Scott: No, you got kicked out, didn't you? Liam: All right. Look! Kicked out or transferred, what do you guys care? I came here to play lacrosse. The team could use a few good players, right? Stiles: No. No, we don't need any more good players. Scott: Actually, we could sort of use a couple. Stiles: Okay, how'd you get this good? Have you always been this good? Or did it suddenly happen just once over night. Have you ever been out in the middle of the woods during the night of a full... Scott: Stiles. Liam: Hmm. Look, I learned from my stepfather, all right? He made team captain when he was a sophomore. Like you. And yeah... I guess I'm just that good. Scott: He wasn't lying that time. Malia: I hate math. It's pointless. Stiles: It's school. School is important, and math is essential. Malia: To what? Stiles: Knowing how much to tip at restaurants. Lydia: And other less important things like medicine, economics, engineering... Stiles: Tipping. Ms Flemming: All right, volunteers to the board. Lydia, Diego, Malia. Malia: Um... I didn't volunteer. Ms Flemming: You did now. To the board. Lydia: Did you go over the notes I gave you? Malia: I didn't understand them. Lydia: X equals 25. And sweetheart? Put away the claws. Kira: An axe murderer? Stiles: A family murdering axe murderer. Scott: I already heard about it. Stiles: Wait. What? You did? How? Scott: My mom called me. She knew we'd see it on the news. Stiles: Perfect. Let's go. Scott: Whoa, whoa. We've got Econ in five minutes. Stiles: All right. Did you forget the part about the family murdering axe murderer? Scott: Did you forget that your dad's the sheriff? They want us to stay out of it. Stiles: Are you guys kidding me? There's a family murdering axe murderer and we're not going to do anything about it? Kira: Maybe we should just let the adults handle it. Stiles: So two of you, you just want to stay here, school, go to class. Never heard anything so irresponsible in my life. Scott: See you at tryouts? Hey, so that thing you wanted to talk about... Kira: Yeah. Scott: Yeah. Can we talk later? After tryouts? Do you mind waiting? It won't be that long. Kira: Um... I... Sure. Scott: Great. See you then. Oh, God. Sheriff: I said I don't want anyone else on site. Review the photos. And don't blame me for the nightmares. Deputy Parrish: But Sheriff, don't you feel like we're missing something? Sheriff: Yeah. And that's why Agent McCall is bringing in an expert from Quantico who deals with exactly this kind of thing. Deputy Parrish: You mean the US Marshal? Sheriff: What US Marshal? Braeden: I called about the case file. [SCENE_BREAK] Scott: It was the first kiss since our actual first kiss. Stiles: That's good. You kissed her. Scott: I did. But I didn't. Stiles: Was... Was it on the lips? Scott: Yeah. Stiles: Was there tongue? Scott: No. I... It was like how you kiss your grandmother when you're five. Stiles: Oh, chaste. You gave her a chaste kiss. Scott: Yeah, and now it's... It's all weird. It's all completely weird and I... I don't know what to do. Maybe I should text her. Stiles: No. Just no with the texts. Coach: As a reminder, it's an open tryout today. All positions available. This is a rebuilding season, people. Jackson's gone, Lahey's gone... Greenberg, the one guy I actually wanted gone... Was held back. Again. Get your asses on the field. Scott: Hey, Coach... I just wanted to ask if... I was still... If I'm... You know... Coach: You're on the team, McCall. Scott: But... But am I... Everything that I was on the team before? Coach: All positions are open. Terrible. Horrifying. Pathetic. Unbelievably pathetic. Is that everyone? Yep, that's everyone. Scott: I got you. Stiles: Who came in first? He isn't human. What is he? Like a Were-Cheetah? Does it even exist? Is that a thing? Scott: I think he's just good. Stiles: I'm gonna puke, take me somewhere. Scott: Okay. Okay. Malia: What's wrong with you? Kira: Me? Nothing. Malia: You reek of anxiety. And it's distracting. What's going on? Kira: Scott and I sort of had this thing happen. But it wasn't much of a thing. And I'm starting to think it never was anything at all. Malia: What do you want it to be? Kira: More. Stiles: You know, maybe he's only good in goal. You know, just totally useless on the rest of the field. Coach: Yes! Stiles: Maybe he's just perfect at everything. I hate this kid! Scott: You don't have to hate him. The team needs new players. Stiles: What about a new team captain? Garrett: Nice, McCall. Stiles: Hey, Garrett... Shut up! Kira: Isn't the captain supposed to be one of the best players on the team? Or good? Stiles: Dude, what is going on with you? Scott: I don't know. I'm having a really off day. Stiles: Off day? You were dying out there! I feel actual physical pain watching you. Scott: I didn't see you make any shots. Stiles: Yes, that is because I'm terrible, though, Scott. You... You are the Alpha. Scott: Not on the field. I'm a human on the field. Stiles: Well, human you is kind of sucking at the moment. So do you think there is any way you can use just like a little tiny bit of wolf power? Scott: It's cheating. Stiles: I know it is! It's just I hate seeing this little freshman come in and steal all your glory after you worked your tushie off. I hate it. Scott: He's not going to steal all the glory. Coach: Yes! Hot damn! Yeah! Hustle! Coach: McCall and Stilinski, grab the long sticks. You're covering goal for two-on-ones. Let's go! Line it up! Stiles: We still don't know if he's a werewolf, too. And if he is, he'd just be cheating. And we'd just be cheating the cheater. Scott: But he's not. I'd know. I'd be able to catch a scent or something. Stiles: Maybe you need to get closer. Scott: I think I'm about to get my chance. Coach: That's my boys! Those two are like sons to me. Kira: Yes! Coach: That's how you do it! That's how it's done! Malia: That was luck! Stiles: Oh no, Malia. Don't get involved. Malia: Do-over! Coach: Sweetheart, there's no do-overs. This is a practice. Malia: Ten bucks on Scott and Stiles. Coach: I'll take that action. Hey! Get back in there, Liam. Don't move! Don't touch him! Liam: I'm okay, Coach. I'm all right. Ahhh! I think it's my leg. Stiles: I think we better get him to the nurse. You guy's take a lap. Run around... Start running around the field!Stupid! Oh! Wow! Nice catch. Throw it back. Kira: Oh, my God. Coach: Someone ask her if she's ever played lacrosse. Deputy Parrish: Beacon County Sheriff's Department! This is a crime scene. Show yourself. Derek: There's nothing in here about Kate. This killer used an axe. Braeden: Actually, he used a military tomahawk. Derek: That's not in this report. Braeden: I know. Derek: Are you going to tell me what else you know? Braeden: Not yet. 'Cause I don't really know much. Derek: But you know something. Braeden: Maybe. The problem is the people I need to talk to right now, don't talk to people like you. Derek: You want me to wait for you? Braeden: I want you to trust me. Derek: And why would I trust you? I don't know anything about you. Braeden: Yeah, well, I know you. And I know what you really want. You want what Kate stole from you.(speaking spanish)...It means the true nature of someone is reflected in their eyes. In your case, the color of your eyes. Derek: You get a week. Scott: Hey, sorry about all that. We're taking Liam to the hospital. It might be a sprain, it could also be a break. Kira: It's okay. I get it. We can talk later? Scott: And I'm sorry about before. Before before? When I did that thing in the hallway? Kira: It's fine. Totally okay. Scott: I didn't mean to make things awkward. Or weird. Really. I'm sorry. You know what? I'm not sorry. Kira: Text me later? Lydia: I would try to explain it, but... I've never gotten a satisfactory explanation myself. Deputy Parrish: Just an unusual habit of showing up at places where people have been brutally murdered? Lydia: Are you saying I have a reputation? Deputy Parrish: An unusual one. Maybe you're psychic. Lydia: Don't tell me you believe all that? Deputy Parrish: I'd like to say I don't believe in anything. But I keep an open mind. But if you're looking for dead bodies, I think you're a little late. I think it's a game locker. Like venison. Hunting's legal in some parts of the state, but... Lydia: What is it? Deputy Parrish: It's not venison. Melissa: Are you sure you don't want to eat something? Sean: Yes. Melissa: Okay. Let me know if you need anything. There's a Deputy standing right outside. Scott: Uh... Hi, Mom. Melissa: Don't worry, Liam. We'll take good care of you. Stiles: I got to get going. I promised Malia I'd help her study. Scott: Sure. I want to check on him anyway. Stiles: Hey, I don't need to say that wasn't your fault, right? Scott: I don't know. Stiles: Scott, if you had used any wolf power that kid wouldn't be limping, he'd be crawling, back to the other half of his body. Scott: If I hadn't been so worried about being captain he wouldn't be hurt either. Stiles: It's okay to want something for yourself once in a while. Team captain, Alpha werewolf. You're still only human. Ms Yukimura: Ken, would you please call the real estate agent and ask him why not a single person has come to this open house? Mr Yukimura: I think I know why. Ms Yukimura: Kira! Stiles: Hey, we're not finished yet. Malia: Yes, we are. Stiles: Okay... I promised I'd help you study. Then we can go back to that. Lots of that. Like, so much... What's with all the highlighters anyway? Malia: Green is for the things I understand. Yellow, is for "I'm working on it," and... Red means I have no clue. I am mostly using red. Study first, remember? So, what's the secret? Why is math impossible for me and easy for you guys? Stiles: Because we use Lydia's notes. Malia: Then somebody needs to give me notes on Lydia's notes, because I don't understand any of this. Stiles: Okay. Um... Lydia wrote these? Malia: Yeah. What are they? Stiles: They're not math. Doctor: Okay, just... Liam: It's broken, isn't it? Doctor: It's definitely going to need an X-ray. Liam: It's broken. And it's my fault. Doctor: You want to tell me what happened? Liam: I went up against two juniors. One of them is captain of the team. Doctor: Remember what we always say? Play smart, not hard. Liam: Are you mad at me? Doctor: No, of course not. Your mom might be mad at me for getting you into lacrosse, but maybe we should both wait for the X-ray before we panic. And trust me... I have more reason to panic than you. It's not over yet. Wait for that X-ray. Scott: Hey, Lydia. Lydia: Where are you? I couldn't call... I couldn't get away from the deputy. Scott: Okay, slow down... Lydia: You need to get to the hospital. You need to get there right now. The son, the only one who survived... He's there. Scott: So am I. I'm at the hospital too. Lydia: Then find him. Find Sean Walcott. Melissa: Sean, are you awake? The Sheriff's on his way, I'm going to need you to wake up. Sean: I couldn't help it. I'm so hungry. I'm just so hungry! Scott: Wait! Hold the doors! Sean: I think I'm ready to talk now. Melissa: No! Leave me alone! No! 'm okay. I'm all right. Scott: Are you sure? Scott: Go get that son of a bitch. Liam: Hey! Anyone hear that? I thought I heard someone... Sean: Get back! Scott: Don't. You don't need to do this. Whatever it is. Whatever you are, we can help you. Sean: No, you can't. Scott: Let me help you. Sean: Wendigos don't need help. We need food! Oh, God! No! No! Liam: I can't hold on! The End.	Plan: A: Sean Walcott; Q: Who is attacked by the Mute? A: a seemingly ordinary teenager; Q: What is Sean Walcott? A: a mouthless assassin; Q: What is the Mute? A: his family; Q: What does the Mute slaughter? A: Scott; Q: Who accidentally injures Liam? A: Liam; Q: Who is the new freshman that Stiles and Scott meet? A: Dylan Sprayberry; Q: Who plays Liam? A: the lacrosse team; Q: What team is Stiles and Scott worried about losing? A: his werewolf abilities; Q: What does Stiles convince Scott to use on the lacrosse field? A: Sean's house; Q: Where do Deputy Parrish and Lydia investigate? A: frozen human corpses; Q: What do Deputy Parrish and Lydia find in Sean's house? A: a wendigo; Q: What is Sean Walcott identified as? A: Liam hostage; Q: What does Sean take on the hospital roof? A: his life; Q: What does Scott save by biting Liam? A: his bite; Q: What did Scott do to Liam that may have turned him into a werewolf? Summary: Sean Walcott, a seemingly ordinary teenager, is attacked by a mouthless assassin known as the Mute; the Mute slaughters his family, but Sean is able to escape. Stiles and Scott meet a new freshman, Liam ( Dylan Sprayberry ), who excels on the lacrosse field; worried that their positions on the lacrosse team are in jeopardy, Stiles persuades Scott to use his werewolf abilities again on the field. Scott begins excelling again, but accidentally injures Liam. Deputy Parrish and Lydia investigate Sean's house, where they find a hidden meat locker full of frozen human corpses. Sean, identified as a wendigo , kills and eats one of the cops protecting him and takes Liam hostage on the hospital roof. Scott is forced to bite Liam to keep him from falling off of the roof, saving his life. The Mute kills Sean, and Scott realizes that his bite may have turned Liam into a werewolf.
TIME AND THE RANI PART TWO Run time: 24:36 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE [SCENE_BREAK] (Running at speed, Mel fails to notice the tripwire at her feet. She trips, triggering an explosion, and a bubble of energy forms around her. She lets out a terrified scream. The bubble starts to ascend into the sky. It rises up and over a cliff face. As it makes its descent, it catches the side of the rock face causing an explosion. This causes the bubble to spin further downwards. Mel screams helplessly as the bubble spins to her to her possible death. Luckily for Mel the bubble falls on to the lake and the detonator on the base of it doesn't hit the water. The bubble surfs along the surface of the water until it hits a rock and nestles at the waters edge. Ikona, who has been following her progress, comes to her rescue. Mel continues to scream in the bubble as he comes to kneel by it. Ikona attempts to remove the explosive detonator from the base of the bubble.) MEL: Help! Help me! IKONA: Be quiet and don't move. MEL: Have you... have you done this before? IKONA: No, this is the first time, but Mel, if you don't stop squawking, it'll be the last. [SCENE_BREAK] 2. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor is working on the pyramid machine and causes an explosion. He chokes on the fumes and moves away to get some clean air. He groans. The Rani, still in her guise as Mel, moves to look at his handiwork.) DOCTOR: You know I can't help feeling sorry for the Rani, Mel, getting caught in her own devious trap. RANI/MEL: She's got nobody to blame but herself. DOCTOR: I suppose so. But what was she doing prowling around on Lakertya? RANI/MEL: I'd have thought the reason was obvious. DOCTOR: Is it? RANI/MEL: She must be on the brink of a major discovery. DOCTOR: Must be a cosmic breakthrough for a neurochemist of her stature to come storming the barricades. (The Rani pulls on the Doctor's arm leading him back over to the machine.) RANI/MEL: All the more reason to press on, get there first. You've repeatedly said that, in the wrong hands, scientific knowledge can be dangerous. DOCTOR: What scientific knowledge? What am I doing? If only I could remember. RANI/RANI: Oh, don't start all that again. Look, repair the machine and maybe we'll find the solution. DOCTOR: The machine won't tell me what's behind that locked door, will it? The machine won't restore my memory, will it? If the Rani was after our experiment, we must be playing with fire. RANI/MEL: Oh forget the Rani. She's finished. Destroyed! DOCTOR: Is she? Oh don't underestimate her. She's a brilliant but sterile mind. There's not one spark of decency in her. RANI/MEL: (to herself) I'm overwhelmed. DOCTOR: You are? RANI/MEL: Such superior diagnostic talents. DOCTOR: It's my forte. RANI/MEL: Then it's a pity they can't be concentrated on the machine. (In frustration she pushes the Doctor against the machine, causing him to hit his nose.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE [SCENE_BREAK] (Ikona continues his efforts to remove the explosive detonator from the base of the bubble. He twists and turns it as Mel looks on anxiously. Finally it comes out of its housing and the bubble dissolves. Mel leaps from her place and hugs Ikona. Ikona hurls the explosive's detonator into the water. It hits the surface of the water and explodes, tossing tons of water into the air, almost spraying the relieved couple. They move away. They are unaware that the Tetrap Leader, Urak, is watching them from a concealed position on the cliff face above them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani is at the central control desk, viewing the progress of the asteroid composed of strange matter. The Doctor is at work on the machine.) DOCTOR: And another thing, why was the Rani dressed like you, Mel? RANI/MEL: Perhaps she's fashion conscious? DOCTOR: No, she was in disguise. Practising another one of her talents. (The Rani moves over to join the Doctor.) RANI/MEL: Really? Are you going to be much longer in there, Doctor? DOCTOR: Afraid so. More hasta less vista. (The Rani looks annoyed as he busies himself at the broken machine.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE TETRAP EYRIE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Lakertyan Leader, Beyus, opens the grill and ventures down into the eyrie. He hears the Tetrap growls from within the darkened lair. He pulls a metal chain and the Tetrap food is released and slides down a slope into the large container. A Tetrap soon appears, forcing Beyus to make a hasty retreat out of the eyrie.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE [SCENE_BREAK] (Ikona and Mel make their way cautiously amongst the rocky landscape, all the time on the lookout for danger.) MEL: Any sign of the... what did you call it? IKONA: Tetraps. No. Keep moving. MEL: Look, look, I'm grateful for your help, but gratitude isn't going to turn me into a puppet. IKONA: I've already come to that painful conclusion. MEL: Well then, tell me, are we just running scared or are we heading for somewhere in particular? IKONA: The answer to both questions is yes. Now can we go? (He runs along further and stops with Mel at an incline that leads up to a gap in the cliff face. He indicates up to the gap. Leaving Mel alone, he makes his way up the steep, rocky incline and into the gap. The gap is being used as a hiding place for Lakertyan fireworks which resemble weapons. Mel remains down in the valley nervously awaiting his return.) MEL: Hurry, Ikona! Hurry! (Suddenly, Urak jumps from hiding. She screams with fear. He has four eyes, is covered in fur, and has a fat stomach and wings. Ikona activates one of the fireworks and the sprinkler effect is released. The glittery sprinkles fall into the face of Urak, distracting him from Mel. Ikona runs down to join Mel and pulls her away. They depart with haste together.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor uses a small device to read some emissions. They obviously cause him some distress.) DOCTOR: I cannot understand how I could have made such a fundamental mistake. (The Doctor tries to force the burnt-out plate from the shelf in the machine. He has trouble but the Rani helps him.) RANI/MEL: Let me. (The plate comes free with her assistance. She holds it up to examine it in the light.) RANI/MEL: What was the mistake? DOCTOR: The heat radiation from the catalyst was of high frequency. RANI/MEL: You mean I... you used the wrong heat conducting material. DOCTOR: So elementary. I broke the second law of thermodynamics. RANI/MEL: So if we substituted a suitable material, would it work? DOCTOR: You should know the answer to that, Mel. Didn't C. P. Snow expound on Thermodynamics? RANI/MEL: Doctor, is this relevant? DOCTOR: Well you said you admired all his writings, read all his books. RANI/MEL: Did I? Oh, I must have forgotten. DOCTOR: You, Mel, forget? (He laughs) A kangaroo never forgets. RANI/MEL: Elephant. DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Memory like an elephant. A running gag applied to you I feel sure, Mel. RANI/MEL: Perhaps the machine exploding affected my memory as well. Doctor, what were the readings? DOCTOR: Oh here, see for yourself. (He passes the small device over to her and then moves over to the sealed door at the back of the room. He mounts the stairs and rests at the top. He places his makeshift stethoscope against the door to listen to the inside. The Rani enters the readings into the computer.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE / CITADEL ENTRANCE [SCENE_BREAK] (Mel and Ikona squat behind a rock to spy on the entrance to the Citadel where a Tetrap stands on guard.) IKONA: That's where they set up headquarters. MEL: Well then, that's where the Doctor must be. IKONA: You can't be sure. MEL: I can. You don't know the Doctor. IKONA: If he's in there, I probably never will. MEL: There's no "Ifs" about it, he's in there. (Mel looks up at the cliff where the rocket launcher has been built.) MEL: Any idea what the central ramp's for? IKONA: No. All I know is that building it cost the lives of many Lakertyans. MEL: Something must have gone terribly wrong. IKONA: The logic of that escapes me. MEL: Well they kidnapped the Doctor, and no one would do that unless they were desperate for his help. He's not exactly predictable. IKONA: Come on. (They depart away from the area.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The computer screen displays some options for the problem with Rani's machine.) RANI/MEL: Would PHB or PES do? DOCTOR: What? (In frustration she goes over to join him at the door to the sealed chamber.) RANI/MEL: I asked you a question! DOCTOR: Did you? Mel, there's something caged in there. RANI/MEL: Yes, I dare say. Would PHB or PES do? DOCTOR: Eh? RANI/MEL: As a suitable material for the machine. (She leads the Doctor back over to the central control desk.) DOCTOR: Oh, yes. PHB. It's biodegradable. We don't want to litter Lakertya with non-destructible waste like they're doing on your planet, Mel. (He opens up a drawer in the desk and starts to rummage around.) RANI/MEL: What are you looking for? DOCTOR: Sugar and starch, we can ferment our own. (She irritably slams the drawer closed, nearly trapping his fingers.) RANI/MEL: Well you won't find it there. What about the alternative? DOCTOR: PES? Oh not so good. It's a petroleum based plastic. RANI/MEL: Slightly amber, almost opaque. DOCTOR: Erm. RANI/MEL: I know where we can get some. DOCTOR: Where? RANI/MEL: From the Lakertyans. You repair the machine, I'll go and get it. (The Rani moves off to the left laboratory exit whilst the Doctor remains perplexed by the desk.) DOCTOR: But I thought you said the Lakertyans weren't very advanced. RANI/MEL: Did I? DOCTOR: Yes. (The Rani closes the door as he walks towards it. Once there he turns to see the other exit door closing, shutting him inside.) DOCTOR: After we found that poor skeleton. [SCENE_BREAK] 10. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE [SCENE_BREAK] (Faroon, the wife of captured leader Beyus, makes her way through the rocky landscape towards the Rani's Citadel. She is coming near to the remains of her daughter, Sarn. Up on the path ahead of her, Ikona and Mel appear.) IKONA: Wait here. (Ikona gestures for Mel to remain out of sight whilst he goes down to join Faroon.) IKONA: Faroon? (They exchange the Lakertyan greeting of pressing their palms against one another.) FAROON: I'm glad to see you, Ikona, although I shouldn't be. IKONA: Does sitting on opposite sides of the fence mean we can't still be friends? FAROON: I'm afraid it does when you cut yourself off from the rest of us and deliberately ignore Beyus' instructions. IKONA: I can't accept he's right to collaborate. FAROON: He is being held hostage. He has no choice. It's the only way that Beyus can save the rest of us from destruction. (She moves up the slope in the direction of Mel. Ikona is wary to keep her attention away from Sarn's skeletal remains. Mel appears from her hiding place, startling Faroon.) MEL: Well, he didn't save her, did he? IKONA: It's alright, Faroon, she's not with the Tetraps. FAROON: You said "her"? MEL: Yes. Well she was running away from something. FAROON: You saw what happened too Ikona? (Silence) You're not usually so reluctant to air your thoughts. (To Mel) From which direction did she come? MEL: Well, along there. It was as though she was escaping from the Tetrap headquarters. IKONA: It was Sarn. (Faroon turns as the truth finally hits her. She makes her way down to the bones of her daughter, a tear running down her cheek.) MEL: Who was Sarn? IKONA: The daughter of Beyus and Faroon. (Mel goes down the slope to join Faroon with Ikona following.) MEL: I'm sorry. I didn't realise. FAROON: I had to be told. IKONA: There was nothing that could be done. She stepped on a trap. FAROON: Yet another victim. I must go to Beyus. (She walks slowly away. Mel turns to follow her.) IKONA: Where are you going? MEL: If Beyus is collaborating then he must be in the Tetrap headquarters and that's where the Doctor will be. (She moves off and he loyally follows her.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11. EXT. RANI'S CITADEL [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani strides forth from the elaborate entrance making her way towards her TARDIS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor is trying out numerous codes on the door control in order to follow the Rani/Mel. Failing to succeed, he moves over to the machine. Picking up the spoon-like equipment he used earlier, he proceeds to play them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13. EXT. THE RANI'S CITADEL [SCENE_BREAK] (Faroon makes her way towards the entrance which is guarded by a Tetrap. Mel and Ikona follow at a cautious distance. They crouch by some rocks to observe her and the Tetrap.) IKONA: You're still determined to get in? MEL: No matter what the risk. IKONA: Madness. It must be contagious. I'll draw him off. (As Ikona runs off amongst the rocks, the Tetrap on guard (Urak) spots him and makes off in pursuit. Mel is free to make her way inside the Citadel. The Tetrap runs amongst the rocks, desperate to find Ikona, but the first person he sees has long curly red hair and is wearing a pink and white exercise outfit. The Tetrap activates his weapon. A stun net is released and falls on the victim, stunning her. Urak runs over to his quarry.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The right-hand side door to the Laboratory opens and Mel enters. The Doctor is working on the machine. Hearing a sound, she moves over towards him.) MEL: Who are you? (He sees her and instantly believes her to be the Rani. He advances towards her and she backs off.) DOCTOR: You! Where's Mel? MEL: Where's the Doctor? DOCTOR: What have you done with her? MEL: Stay away from me. What have you done with the Doctor? (She grabs him by the arm and spins him off his feet and on to the floor. She restrains him by holding his arm behind his back.) MEL: Now we'll get to the truth. What have you done with him you brute? DOCTOR: He's here! MEL: Where? Under the carpet? DOCTOR: Me, you washer woman! Me! MEL: Never! You're nothing like him. If the Doctor's been harmed... (The Doctor breaks her hold and jumps up, grabs hold of her, and slings her up over his shoulders, spinning her round in the air.) MEL: Help! Put me down! (He continues to spin her until finally he returns her to the floor, leaving her rather dizzy.) DOCTOR: Drop the melodramatics. Your pathetic impersonation doesn't fool me at all. Incidentally that wigs not you. (Whilst she is still dazed, he makes a grab for her hair. Mel cries in pain.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE [SCENE_BREAK] (Urak removes the stun net from the Rani. She sits up, affected by the net, and starts to adjust her Mel wig.) URAK: I am sorry, Mistress. I have not seen you dressed in these clothes before. (Regaining her composure, she jumps up and moves stubbornly off.) RANI/MEL: Inquests bore me! (Urak lurks off after her.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (Mel escapes from the Doctor's grip on her hair and runs around the side of the laboratory, protecting herself on the opposite side of the control desk. They each run around the outside of the control desk - always trying to maintain an equal distance between themselves.) DOCTOR: I knew you weren't finished, Rani. I told Mel as much. MEL: You told me? DOCTOR: No, Mel! MEL: I am Mel. Who's the Rani? DOCTOR: Try looking in the mirror at the face of evil. MEL: I've had enough of this drivel. DOCTOR: Alright, compromise. Let me feel your pulse. MEL: Don't touch me! DOCTOR: Ah the proof of the pumpkin's in the squeezing. MEL: You don't even talk like the Doctor, you miserable fraud. DOCTOR: Let me feel your pulse. Or pulses, I should say. Two of them. One for each heart. MEL: You're a raving lunatic. DOCTOR: Yes, perhaps I am, because if you're the Rani, I'm dicing with destruction. MEL: And if I'm Mel? (They stop moving around the control desk.) DOCTOR: Mel? The worst she'll do is give me carrot juice. (Pauses) Carrot juice? What made me think of that? MEL: Well perhaps the real Doctor told you. It was his favourite drink. DOCTOR: Favourite? I hate it! MEL: Oh. DOCTOR: Ah, caught you out haven't I! MEL: But if you're the real Doctor then, why d'you look like that? DOCTOR: I've regenerated and I'm suffering from post-regenerative amnesia, as far as I can remember. Fair exchange is no mockery. You feel my pulses, I'll feel yours. I'll lean across here with my arm behind my back if you want proof I'm a Time Lord. Come on. (He leans across the control desk as he said he would and she cautiously moves in to inspect his wrist.) MEL: A double pulse! Then you really are the Doctor. DOCTOR: That's what I've been trying to tell you. Now yours. (She looks in amazement at him. He checks her wrists for a double pulse.) MEL: I know about regeneration, of course. (He finds only a single pulse.) DOCTOR: Mel? (Feeling at rest with one another, she moves around to join him.) MEL: But you're completely different. Nothing like you were. Face. Height. Hair. Everything's changed. DOCTOR: Yes. And I've become more of a fool too, it seems, Mel. Doesn't bode well for my Seventh Persona being so completely taken in by the wretched Rani. MEL: The Rani? Is that who hijacked the TARDIS? DOCTOR: (Nods) But what does she want with me? [SCENE_BREAK] 17. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN LANDSCAPE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani and Urak walk up to the Rani's TARDIS which resembles a small pyramid - its surface is partially mirrored. Seeing that he is following her, she turns.) RANI/MEL: Where d'you think you're going? URAK: With you, Mistress. RANI/MEL: I told you not to enter my TARDIS without permission. Now stay here. (She enters her TARDIS whilst Urak remains outside.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor and Mel are standing at the control desk watching the viewing screen as it shows the strange matter asteroid.) DOCTOR: Strange Matter! MEL: Never heard of it. DOCTOR: You should have, Mel. A Princeton physicist discovered it on your earth in the year 1984. MEL: Computers are my speciality, not Nuclear Physics. DOCTOR: It's an incredibly dense form of matter. A lump the size of this would weigh more than your planet Earth. MEL: Well what could the Rani's interest be? DOCTOR: An astute question. If that asteroid exploded, it would send off a blast of gamma rays equivalent to a supernova. MEL: Then it would be goodbye Lakertya. (He turns off the monitor screen. And leads Mel to the back of the lab.) DOCTOR: And everything else in this corner of the galaxy. When the Rani dabbles, she dabbles on a grand scale. (He gives Mel the stethoscope and points up the stairs to the locked door.) DOCTOR: Here. Go and listen. (Mel ascends the stairs and places the stethoscope against the door.) MEL: It's weird. It's like a giant heartbeat. DOCTOR: Yes. But why, Mel? Why? What is she up to? (He ponders the Laboratory and his attention is drawn to the left side door.) DOCTOR: It starts here. (He moves to the door and Mel joins him.) MEL: Oh forget it, Doctor. Let's hightail it back to the TARDIS and get out of here. DOCTOR: And leave the Lakertyans to the machinations of the Rani. Impossible! Given time I'll work out the combination. [SCENE_BREAK] 19. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (Beyus and Faroon overhear the Doctor's words through the door.) BEYUS: 953. [SCENE_BREAK] 20. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Did you hear a voice or am I hallucinating? BEYUS: (from behind the door) 953. MEL: Well go on, quick. 953. DOCTOR: Who'd have thought she'd have been so obvious. That's my age. And the Rani's. (He taps in the code on the door control and the door slides upwards revealing Beyus and Faroon on the other side. The Doctor gestures Mel to go through.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21. INT. THE RANI'S TARDIS [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani produces a jagged orange sheet of opaque PES plastic from a cupboard. She moves with it into the centre of the room. Using a laser, she cuts the plastic into the right shape for the machine. She then moves off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani exits her TARDIS with the plastic where Urak is waiting on guard.) RANI/MEL: The girl's on the loose. Find her before she finds the Doctor. URAK: Yes, Mistress. [SCENE_BREAK] 23. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (Mel and the Doctor are examining the cabinets in the arcade that contain various geniuses. Beyus and Faroon watch them.) MEL: Hypatia. (Moves to the next cabinet) Einstein! BEYUS: Names which are meaningless to us. DOCTOR: Geniuses every one of them. The Rani's collected together the most creative minds and the most powerful matter in the universe. FAROON: She's a murderess. Sarn was not her first victim, there have been many. DOCTOR: The scope of her imagination is breathtaking. BEYUS: You sound as though you admire her. DOCTOR: Not admiration. Fascination. And sadness. If only the Rani could have redirected her incredible talents for good. (Mel wanders along to look at a further cabinet. It is empty but she sees the Doctor's name written on the label.) MEL: The fascination's mutual. She's reserved this one for you. (The Doctor goes over to see for himself.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24. EXT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ENTRANCE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani makes her way back inside carrying the sheet of plastic bound for the machine.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE / THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor, Mel, Beyus and Faroon stand around the Doctor's cabinet.) DOCTOR: What is it that I can contribute that these other geniuses can't? MEL: You're a Timelord. DOCTOR: With a unique conceptual understanding of the properties of time. (The Doctor rushes back in to the laboratory. He follows the line of information given by the machinery that leads to the sealed door at the rear of the room. Mel and Beyus watch him whilst Faroon remains in the Arcade.) DOCTOR: Do you know what's behind that door? BEYUS: I've never been permitted to see. DOCTOR: Pity. Beyus? Why have you... assisted? BEYUS: Collaborated is the word that you are avoiding, Doctor. I've no choice. (The Doctor activates the desk screen but is distracted as Faroon rushes into the laboratory and closes the door behind her.) FAROON: She's coming! DOCTOR: Take Mel! FAROON: I'll take her with me. MEL: But Doctor, you can't stay. DOCTOR: Go, Mel! Go! (Beyus, Faroon and Mel hastily exit the laboratory via the right side door. The Doctor returns to the machine. The Rani enters the laboratory via the left side door. She goes to the desk and notices that the monitor screen has been left on by the Doctor. She turns it off and goes to join the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Oh yes, yes. Let me see. Polyethersulphone. Excellent. How clever you are, Mel. Where did you find it? RANI/MEL: In the store room. Doctor, why was the monitor on? DOCTOR: On, is it? Oh yes. I was trying to jog my memory. No luck though. Hold the other end, Mel. (Together they both try to position the plastic sheet into the machine.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. CORRIDOR [SCENE_BREAK] (Beyus cautiously leads Mel and Faroon out of the Citadel. He gestures them away and remains alone.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor and the Rani (still dressed a Mel) are positioning the plastic sheet inside the machine.) DOCTOR: You're not concentrating, Mel. Hold it steady. We've got to manoeuvre it into position. (It's finally in position in the machine.) RANI/MEL: Quite adept at manoeuvring, aren't you, Doctor. DOCTOR: Well, where there's a will, there's a Tom, Dick and Harriet. (They both move to the centre of the room.) RANI/MEL: Do I take it the machine is now operational? DOCTOR: Oh no, no. There's certain information I simply must have before I make the final delicate adjustments. RANI/MEL: Such as? DOCTOR: (gesturing to the rear of the Lab) Ideally what's behind that door? RANI/MEL: Less ideally? DOCTOR: (He fingers liquid atop one of the pyramid-shaped machines) The identity of this rather interesting substance. RANI/MEL: The information's essential, is it? DOCTOR: Crucial. RANI/MEL: So if I told you its chemical composition. I could do that. DOCTOR: No stop! (She leans over to the control desk and presses a button. The lights in the room dim and start to pulsate and the machines whirl and pump into action. The Doctor looks uneasy.) RANI/MEL: You know, don't you? (With little hesitation, the Rani pulls off her wig of red curls to reveal her own long brunette hair. She starts to unpin it.) RANI: But your usefulness is not yet over. You have another role to play. (To distract her, the Doctor gestures to the right door. She looks and he ties his scarf around her and pushes her down on to the control desk.) RANI: Dratted man. (He then runs from the laboratory.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (Beyus is attending to the cabinet controls as the Doctor rushes past. The Doctor opens the grill to descend into the Tetrap Eyrie. The Rani, having released herself from the scarf, runs into the Arcade and pushes Beyus aside. She enters the Eyrie.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. TETRAP EYRIE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani descends the stairs into the eyrie and, peering into the darkness, she sees the Tetraps hanging asleep from the rocky ceiling but fails to see the Doctor. He is hiding behind a rock. Giving up, she leaves the eyrie and closes the grill behind her. The Doctor ventures out from his hiding place and looks around for another exit. Before he can look further, a group of awakened Tetraps encircle him, their forked tongues ready to pierce the Doctor with venom...)	Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who is Mel looking for? A: his people; Q: What does Mel want to help? A: Rani; Q: Who is the indigenous life form that Mel runs into? A: her plans; Q: What does the Rani want the Doctor to help her with? Summary: Mel searches for the Doctor and runs into a indigenous life form and has to explain that she is looking for The Doctor who may be able to help his people, meanwhile the Rani works to keep the Doctor convinced that she is Mel so he will help her with her plans.
Ted (voix off): Kids, the key to a good relationship is communication. You need to talk. Ted and Robin are et the bar. Robin: How about Mimi's? Ted: Nah, I don't really feel like Mimi's. Robin: Well, I'm hungry. Let's just pick a place and go. Ted: Oh, you know where we should go? Cynthia's. You love that place, remember what a great time we had the last time we were there? Robin: We did? Ted: Yeah, yeah. We had that crazy waiter who kept going, "You two should get married! You two should get married!" Ted (voix off): It's also important to know when to stop talking. Ted: Come on. Then we stepped outside. It was raining. It was so romantic? How can you not remember this? Robin: Because it wasn't me. Ted: Oh, right! It was... my sister. Ted (voix off): You see, by the time you've hit your late 20s, you've dated a few people, but when you're in a relationship, it's common courtesy to pretend that you haven't. Ted and Robin are at the apartment. Ted: Oh, my God, Van Helsing is on. Remember when we went to see it? We sat in the back row. Robin: I've never seen Van Helsing. Ted: That's right. I saw it with my sister. Robin: My boss just got back from Maui. He said it was really romantic. Ted: Oh, it's so romantic. Robin: When were you in Maui? Ted: I... went... with my sister. Robin: With my sister. Why do you always say that? Look, we're not 16. We've both dated other people. It's silly to try to act like we didn't. Ted: You're right. We should just be honest. Robin: Totally. They're back at the bar. Ted: See that girl over there? Three years ago, I totally made out with her. Robin: I don't want to hear that. Ted: What? You said... Robin: God, that is so insensitive. Ted: Remember honesty...? Robin: You're a jerk! Ted: Well, you're...confusing. Marshall is at the bar with Barney. Marshall: Okay, so you have to have sx with one. Either classic mermaid; bottom half fish, top half human, or inverted mermaid, top half fish, bottom half human. Go! Barney: I don't know. Is she fat? Marshall: Yeah, but it's a fish, so it's the good kind of fat. Lily: Hot off the presses! Barney: I-I don't take flyers. Marshall: You took one two seconds before you walked in here. Barney: That's different. It was for a strip club. Two bucks off wings. How much is your flyer going to save me on wings? Lily: Fine. It's a flyer from my play. Barney: Oh, Lily, I'd love to, but we're not in college and I'm not trying to sleep with you. So anyway, this mermaid... Marshall: Hey, Lily's friend asked her to be in this play, and it's gonna be really good. Barney: Lily, I love you, but we're too old for this. Asking someone to come see your play is like asking someone for a ride to the airport or to crash on your couch or to help you move. Call a cab, book a room, hire some movers and repeat after me: Friends don't let friends come see their crappy play. Ted: Okay, first of all, I've thought about it and top half fish. Second of all, we need you guys to decide something for us. Barney: Yes, you should break up. Ted: So, earlier tonight... Flashback. Ted and Robin are on the couch. Robin: Mm, we should get down to the bar. Ted: I know we should, but you just look so sexy in my red sweatshirt. End flashback. Barney: Oh, God, why is this part of the story? Ted: We're getting to it. Flashback. Robin: Damn, my face is so dry. Is there any moisturizer around here? Ted: Yeah, there's some in the bathroom. Got to moisturize! Got to keep that pretty face moist. End flashback. Lily: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! Barney: What's wrong with her? Marshall: She hates that word. Barney: What word, "moist"? Lily: No! Seriously, stop! Robin: So, anyway, Ted goes into the bathroom to get the moist... face lotion... Flashback. Robin: Wow, this is great stuff. Now I know the secret to your great complexion. Ted: What are you talking about? It's yours. Robin: No, it's not. Ted: Oh, well... then I guess it's Lily's. End flashback. Lily: No, it's not. Flashback. Robin: Whose moisturizer is this, Ted? Ted: Um, my sister's. Robin: So, in other words, some girl you went out with. Ted: Um... I love you. Robin: Disgusting. You let me put on the same moisturizer as one of your exes? End flashback. Lily: It was probably Carla's. Her face was a train wreck. Marshall: I'm don't think Ted was dating her for her face. Ted: Thank you, Marshall. Thank you so much. Flashback. Robin: Why is that still in your apartment? Ted: I don't know. I just never threw it out. Robin: Well, why not? Do you still have feelings for this girl? Ted: Yeah. I'm madly in love with her, and the only way I can deal with it is by holding onto a three-dollar tube of lotion. Robin: Not three dollars! Try 14. Ted: Why is this such a big deal? Robin: Because I don't want to use some whore's moisturizer! Ted: Whoa, she wasn't a whore. Robin: Well, she's leaving expensive lotions all over town. It sounds like a whore to me. What else do you have from old girlfriends just lying around? Ted: Nothing. That's it. Well, except for the phone booth. And the lamp by the desk... and the... Robin: No. No! No! Oh, Ted! End flashback. Lily: Ah, the age-old question: after you break up with someone, what do you do with the stuff? Robin: Question? Ain't no question, girl. Obviously, he's got to get rid of it. Ted: Which is obviously crazy and obviously, I'm not gonna do it. Robin: So we agreed that we would let you guys decide. Ted: Yeah, like we did with Marshall's pants. Barney: Ah, the 2005 landmark case of Lily v. The Joey Buttafuoco Pants. Flashback. Marshall comes in with pants. Marshall: Nice, right? Robin: I'm gonna have to say no. I don't want some 16-year-old girl falling in love with you and then shooting Lily in the face. Lily: Yes! Barney: I vote they can stay. "Check out the jackass in the parachute pants" is a good icebreaker. Marshall: Ted. Ted? Ted? Ted: Sorry, buddy, it's a "no" for me, too. Oh, and by the way, Bel Biv Devoe called. Even they don't want those pants back. End flashback. Marshall: They were insanely comfortable! They were like pajamas you could wear outside. Barney: Marshall, it's over. We even gave you an appeal and they didn't look any better with combat boots. Lily: All right, well, let's hear the arguments. Ted, you go first. Ted: Okay. The fact that I still have things from ex-girlfriends is no big deal. I mean, when I see the phone booth on the piano, I don't think of Jeannie Radford, I think of the good times I had backpacking through Europe. And when I see the lamp, I don't think of Allison Moses. I remember when I was broke, just out of college, and I really needed a lamp. And when I see that throw pillow, I don't think of Lauren Stein. I think of that weird orange-brown stain and how it got there. Marshall: Creamsicle and turkey gravy, not at the same time. Robin: Well, that's adorable, but from now on, when I walk into the apartment, here is what I will see. The phone booth turns into Ted's ex-girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend 1: I'm Ted's college girlfriend. He made me 12 mix tapes. How many has he made you? The lamp turns into Ted's ex-girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend 2: He calls you "sweetie pie"? He called me "sweetie pie." The pillow turns into Ted's ex-girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend 3: I'm stupid, but my rack is bigger than yours. Ted: Really? You can't look at a pillow without seeing my ex-girlfriend-- a pillow! Robin: Yes, Ted, the fact that you still have that pillow is creepy and gross. Ted: You're creepy and gross. Robin: Your mom's creepy and gross. Lily: Order! Order! I got to side with Robin. She's your girlfriend, and if the stuff upsets her, you got to get rid of it. Marshall: I've got to side with Ted. Just 'cause you still have something an ex girlfriend gave you doesn't mean you're holding onto her. Ted: All right, Barney. It all comes down to you. Barney: I side with Robin. Ted: What? Barney: Ted, your place is too cluttered. It's like you're living in a Bennigan's. Robin: Or a Danby's. What, they don't have Danby's in the US? Really? Well, then were do you get Grizzly Paw ice cream sandwiches? Ted: Just stop, sweetie. Ted is getting rid off his ex-girlfriends stuff. Ted (voix off): So I had no choice. I packed up everything I had gotten from ex-girlfriends. It was painful, but not as painful as what I had to endure later that night. New York is famous for its theater, but there's many different levels. There's Broadway, off-Broadway, off-off-Broadway, homeless people screaming in the park, and then below that, the play Aunt Lily was in. Ted, Robin and Barney arrive in the room where Lily's going to play. Robin: Eight flights, of stairs. Who puts a theater up eight flights of stairs? What kind of building is this? Barney: From the smell of it, I'm guessing a urine factory. Ted: Where do you guys want to sit? Barney: I know where I don't want to sit. Marshall (in the front row): Guys, four together! Barney: I brought a bag in case anyone needs to puke. Robin: Come on. It's not gonna be that bad. Barney: No? Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] The lights turn off and the play starts. Man 1: I... am... Rage! Woman: I... am Greed. Lily: I am Rage... Envy! Barney: I am outta here. Marshall: No, you're not. You have to stay. Lily: This is the face of Consumerism! Marshall: Oh, my God. Ted's part of the play. Man 2: Hello, Greed, Rage...Envy... and Consumerism. I... am your father... America! 3 hours later the play is over. Marshall: Oh, baby, that was wonderful! Ted: Totally, I had no idea Greed was the killer. Robin: And when it became a play within a play, I was, like, "Now we are really cookin'!" Barney: Wow, Lily, that sucked! Marshall: Barney! Barney: What? It was terrible. I mean, come on. You guys agree, right? Hey, sorry, I'm just being honest 'cause, you know, we're friends. Lily: No, friends make each other feel good. They build each other up and support them. That's what being a good friend is about. Barney: Yeah, if you're a Smurf. Lily: You know if you did a play, I would sit through the whole thing and I would compliment you on it afterwards. Barney: Oh, really? You would? Lily: Yes. Barney: Bad move, Aldrin, bad move. Man: We'll be starting our Q&A with the director-- yours truly-- in five minutes right here. Barney runs out Robin and Ted arrive at Ted's apartment. Robin: Can you believe Barney said that about Lily's play? Ted: I know. He can be really insensitive. Robin: It was pretty bad, though. Ted: Oh, my God, it was so bad. Robin: Oh, my God, you've been robbed! Ted: Nope. Robin: All that stuff was from old girlfriends? Don't you buy anything for yourself? Ted: What can I say? Papa gets swag. Ted (voix off): And that should've been the end of it. But the next day... Ted is walking the dogs with Robin. Ted: You know, at first I was really bummed about getting rid of all my stuff. But seeing how happy it makes you - totally worth it. Robin: Mm, that's kind of how I feel when I begrudgingly have sx with you when I'm really tired. Ted: Exactly. Sometimes you gotta take one for the team. Well, sit. Sit, yeah. So you never keep anything your ex-boyfriends gave you? Robin: Nope. Well, except for my dogs. At Robin's apartment. Ted: So I had to get rid of everything from my past relationships because you don't keep things from your past relationships except, uh, where are your five dogs from? Oh, that's right: your past relationships. Robin: What's your point, Ted? Ted: Well, you know how you said you come over to my apartment, and all you can see are my ex-girlfriends? Robin: What, so when you look at my dogs, all you see is my ex-boyfriends? Ted: I do now. Robin: That's ridiculous. Ted: I thought you said you got rid of everything your ex-boyfriends gave you. Well, yeah, but not my dogs. Ted: You said everything. Robin: But not living things. Ted: Well, tell that to the rare Bolivian cactus I threw away. Robin: Things with a heartbeat can stay. Ted: Enjoying this? Robin: Pickles, go get your ball. Go get your ball. Ted: Just admit it. It was a little hypocritical of you to make me get rid of all my stuff. Robin: Well, what do you want me to do, Ted? Get rid of my dogs? The dog turns into a man. Man: Guess what position we did it in. Ted: Yes. Yes, I want you to get rid of your dogs. Robin: Um, no. Ted: Really? Well, I say we take it to the group, but I don't like your chances. They're all at the bar. Marshall: She's not getting rid of the dogs. Lily: What's the matter with you? Barney: Even I wouldn't do that. Robin: Yes! Lily: You can ask somebody to get rid of their iguana after it poops in your hair, but not their dog. Marshall: I miss Jebediah. Barney: Oh, I almost forgot. Flyers for my new play. Lily: Very funny. Barney: Oh, it's not a joke. It's my one-man show premiering tomorrow night. And even though it's terrible and excruciatingly long, I expect you all to be there since we're such good friends. Lily: Oh, we'll be there. Barney: Unless, of course, you just want to admit that you were wrong... Lily: Never. Barney: Good. Okay, I gotta go rehearse. Oh, I almost forgot. Bring a poncho; the first three rows get wet. Robin and Ted are in Robin's apartment. Robin: I'm sorry I didn't tell you where the dogs came from. Ted: I'm sorry I asked you to get rid of them. That was ridiculous. Robin: So we're-we're okay? Ted: Yeah, we're great. Ted (voix off): And I thought we were, but just as it did in the seventh act of Aunt Lily's play, Jealousy reared its ugly head. Robin has one of her dog in her knees but Ted sees a man instead. Man: Oh, yeah, that's the spot. Robin and Ted are kissing on the bed when a man (dog) interrupts them. Man: Dude, I gotta pee. Ted: I gotta go. The gang is at Barney's play. Lily: Oh, he's really having trouble dealing with this, huh? Robin: Yeah, he really is. It's got me thinking, maybe I should get rid of my dogs. Might be time to send them to the farm. Lily: You're gonna kill your dogs?! Robin: No! No, no, no, there really is a farm. My aunt has a farm upstate. Lily: Oh, thank God. Aw, you know, if I were five dogs, I'd rather live on a farm than in an apartment in Brooklyn. Robin: Yeah. I could visit them on weekends. My aunt is awfully lonely up there. It's just her and her lover, Betty. Lily: Oh, that's perfect. They love dogs. Robin: "They"? What do you mean by "they"? Lily: Uh... uh.... uh... People upstate. Oh, look, it's starting. Shh! Marshall: Are you sure you're gonna be okay? I mean, you know that this is gonna be... Lily: I know, but I'm gonna sit through the whole thing, and I'm gonna say something nice about it afterwards. You know why? Because that's what friends do. Barney's play starts. Barney: Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Ted (voix off): That was the first 40 minutes of Barney's show. Barney: Moist. Ted (voix off): And then we endured about 20 minutes of this. Barney shoots at Lily with a water gun. Barney: I have to go refill. I'll be back in a moment. Play's not over. Marshall: I never get picked for audience participation. Ted (voix off): And then it just got weird. Barney: Feelings. Inside. Oh, no! Ted (voix off): And when that didn't work... Lily: Okay! Stop! You win. Fine. Barney, I'm sorry I made you come to my show. Barney: Thank you, Lily. Is there anything you'd like to say about my show? Lily: No. No, I have nothing nice to say about your show. You were right, Barney. Let's go to the bar. Barney: Yes! I win! I love winning! Oh, Lily. Oh, Lily, Lily, Lily. I was just getting warmed up, man! Lily: Well, I imagine it was pretty awful, so let's go. Barney: Pretty awful? Pretty awful?! It was a masterpiece of awful. It's genius how bad it is. I kind of wish you guys could see it. Lily: Yeah, well, anyway. Barney: Act two is where I really hit my stride. Spoiler alert: the robot falls in love. Lily: How about this, Barney? How about we stay and-and watch the rest of your show? Barney: It's your funeral. Five, six, one, two. Ted (voix off): So we stayed and let Barney torture us for another hour and a half, 'cause that's what friends do, apparently. Ted is about te enter in his apartment. Robin: Hey. Ted: Where've you been? I called you earlier. Robin: I gave my dogs away to my aunt. Ted: You what? Robin: Yeah. Just for a few months as a test run, but... I think it's for the best. Ted: Wow. Oh, man. Robin: Can we go inside? Ted: Uh, no. Uh, let's go to the bar. Robin: Why? What's going on inside? Ted: Um, the floors are gone. Robin: What? Ted: Yeah. I-I sent them out to get, um, fixed. This is a terrible lie. I'm just going to bail. Robin walks into the apartment and Ted brought back all his ex-girlfriends stuff. Ted: I didn't know you were getting rid of the dogs! Robin: You said you threw all that stuff away! Ted (voix off): Kids, this was the worst fight Robin and I ever had. It was one of those fights that last for hours and you start to get woozy and lose track of what you're fighting about. We fought for so long, seasons changed outside the window. Pages of the calendar blew off. It was crazy. But, ultimately, and I couldn't tell you how for the life of me, but somehow we got to here. Robin: We're really doing this? Ted: Yeah. At the bar... Ted and Robin: We're moving in together! During Barney's play... Barney: The robot found love Confusing my circuitry My software's been hacked Toaster oven You're the one for me Two, three, four. Marshall stand up and slaps Barney. Marshall: That's two.	Plan: A: Robin; Q: Who gives Ted grief for keeping gifts from ex-girlfriends? A: Ted grief; Q: What does Robin give Ted for keeping all of his gifts from ex-girlfriends? A: Ted; Q: Who decides it's time to give away all of his gifts from ex-girlfriends? A: the tides; Q: What changes when Ted finds out that Robin has been holding on to items as well? A: the whole group; Q: Who does Lily tell to come to her play? A: Barney; Q: Who tells Lily that her play sucked? Summary: After Robin gives Ted grief over keeping all of his gifts from ex-girlfriends, Ted decides it's time to give them all away. However, the tides change when he finds that Robin has been holding on to items as well. Lily tells the whole group to come to her play. After Barney tells her it sucked, she tells him she would compliment a play he performed in regardless of how bad it was - Barney decides to prove her wrong.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Mary: Increase Mather, I call you from Hell. The witch you killed walks the streets of Salem. Now help me defeat her for good. Countess Marburg: I want you to steal your father's book of shadows. There are secrets in that book... Secrets you and I both need. Tituba: Witch killer, you will kill no witches tonight. Countess Marburg: I, too, would see Mary Sibley curled into a ball of pain. And I have much use for a beauty such as will be yours. Mr. Hale: This room, whose door only blood can open, is our sanctuary. Wainwright: I've never seen a pox like this. Cotton: But you've never seen a witch pox. Wainwright: It's as though the bile consumes its victim from the inside out. [ Hissing ] Countess Marburg: My dark lord is already inside the boy. And come the comet... We shall let him out. Cotton: You're dead. I killed you. [ Screaming ] Increase: [ Gasps ] Mary: I gave you leave to spy on the Countess, not haunt the streets of Salem like some ghost from a cheap ballad. You said that once you were sure, you would tell me the secret to destroying Countess Marburg. You spoke of an object. Well? Increase: [ Laughs ] Mary: Increase... Tell me or I will hurl your soul back to Hell in an instant! Increase: I can indeed tell you how to destroy her... For a price. Mary: Name it. Increase: I must speak with my son Cotton. Mary: About me? Increase: No. About me and him, parent and child. You wouldn't understand. Mary: You may see your son... Once you have told me everything. Increase: Legends say Countess Ingrid Palatine Von Marburg was already alive when Lucifer fell and she was one of the first to call him lord, to kiss his infernal lips to make herself his bride, and that still she dreams of the return of her lover and works ceaselessly to that end. There is nothing she would not do, no one she would not kill... Men, women, children, even witches... To bring the devil back. Who can say when first she died or how? But in those days when magic itself was young, her body was enshrined in an elaborate sarcophagus that shielded not only her rotting remains, but a vital spark of her soul, which, like a cinder carefully tended, is enough to reignite her life force again and again and again. No manner of execution... Drowning, burning, beheading... Can quench the infernal flame of the witch. They say she's tasted death time and again, always returning to curse the world with her beauty and to continue her efforts to make this world his kingdom and to rule beside him. And she almost succeeded many years ago, when I first met her. She tried to hide from me using her powers of glamour to disguise herself amongst some refugee children. But... I found her. Girl: Increase Mather... Increase: [ Gasps ] Girl: You will burn in hell for this. Increase: If that is the sacrifice I must make to kill you, witch, so be it. Girl: [ Laughs ] Better men than you have tried and died, while I am still here. [ Choking ] [ Hissing ] Increase: [ Grunting ] [ Groaning ] I carried the pain every day of my life. Even as I killed her, the box which holds her unholy remains was safely hidden. Mary: But where is it now? Increase: Shall I trust a wasp not to sting? No. I will see my son first. Mary: No. No, you will tell me first. Increase: Or what? You have nothing to threaten me with. I'm dead, already destined to return to Hell. But you... you... You have much to lose, including your life. Do not forget, she has killed far more witches than I have. So perhaps it's time for you to learn something new... Trust. Mary: [ Chuckles ] [ "Cupid carries a gun" plays ] ♪ Pound me the witch drums ♪ ♪ witch drums ♪ ♪ pound me the witch drums ♪ ♪ pound me the witch drums ♪ ♪ the witch drums ♪ ♪ better pray for hell ♪ ♪ not hallelujah ♪ [ Horse whinnies ] Anne: [ Breathing heavily ] Cotton. [ Laughs ] [ Moaning ] [ Gasping ] Sebastian: To sleep, perchance to dream. What a fetching sight, watching you mewl and moan. Were you dreaming of me? Anne: Of course not. Now leave at once. A gentleman does not sneak into a woman's bedroom. Sebastian: I am no gentleman. Anne: What do you want? Sebastian: Stop trembling. Whatever it is I want, it is not your virginity. I have no use for a pale, inexperienced little stick like you. I'm here for the book. Anne: Perhaps if I knew what you were looking for... [ Gasps ] Sebastian: No tricks, Anne. My mother would have your father's book of shadows. That's all you need to know. Anne: You are hurting me. [ Breathing heavily ] Sebastian: Give me the book or I will bathe my mother in your blood to ease her disappointment. Anne: Release me. [ Knife clatters ] Sebastian: Why, you little bitch. I will eat your heart. Anne: Really? And what will your mother say when she realizes you killed the only person who can give her what she wants? Sebastian: And what shall I tell her? Anne: Tell her she was right. The book is mine, and I will not give it to her until I choose. [ Door opens ] Boy: Mother! Mary: I'm glad to see you, too, John. Love... Oh! Why... why the tears? Boy: Please don't send me away. Mary: I would never send you away. W-whatever gave you such an idea? Boy: I never see you, and I know you were angry with me last night at the dinner. Mary: No. No. I've been very busy. I'm always thinking of you... Always. And as soon as my work is done, we shall spend every day together. I promise. Boy: But I'm so lonely, Mother. Why can't I go out and play? Mary: Just because you have to remain inside doesn't mean we can't play, okay? The perfect way to cultivate your imagination, perhaps even your talent. At your age, the world is a blank slate. We must find the best way for you to inscribe your truth on it. See? Boy: [ Chuckles ] Mary: John... What is this about? Boy: They just come to me. Mary: [ Gasps ] Tituba: He must be watched at all times. Mary: He is fine now he is with me. Tituba: He is unsettled, vulnerable. I care only for the child. Mary: If you are so concerned about my son, here's a task most suited to your skills. I'm sure one as cunning as you can find a way to remove bird sh1t from his linen. [ Horse whinnies ] [ Metal clanking ] Anne: Cotton? Cotton: Anne. Anne: What's wrong? You look ill. Cotton: Well, I-I-I, uh... I had a most disturbed night. I-I saw... [ Gasps ] I-I don't know what I saw. Perhaps it was just a dream. S-so, I, um... I came to see if this, too, was, um, but a dream, that you would deign to marry me. Anne: Are you sure that your love for me isn't the dream, one you may wake from any day now? Cotton: Not in this life, nor after. My... my heart is forever yours. I'm sure of it. In love, I now understand Faith, and with my faith, I... I begin to understand Love. Anne: How so? Cotton: The leap. In love and in faith, the evidence will only take you so far. Anne: [ Chuckles ] Cotton: And, then, um... And then... Anne: And after the leap, then what? The fall? Cotton: No. Flight. Anne: [ Laughs ] [ Breathing heavily ] [ Groans ] [ Brown Jenkins squeaking ] Why do you think the Marburgs want my father's book so badly, Mr. Jenkins? [ Brown Jenkins squeaking ] I don't suppose you have any ideas. [ Squeaking ] [ Squeaking intensifies ] [ Squeaking stops ] [ Breathing heavily ] [ Gasping ] John: [ Coughs ] [ Groans ] Ah! I thought you weren't done with me yet. Tituba: I wasn't. But I might be. John: [ Clears throat ] Tituba: It all depends on you, witch hunter, whether or not you can see how well our interests are aligned. John: Our interests? A witch and me? It's hard to see what we've got in common. Tituba: Love and betrayal. That is what we have in common. We have both loved the same woman and been betrayed by her time and time again. John: Then why serve her all these years? Tituba: What choice has a slave but to serve and plot? John: And what part in your plot am I? Tituba: That is up to you, John Alden. There is so much we can do for each other. We come from different worlds. We might yet make a new one together. Think on it. [ Rocking horse creaking ] Wainwright: Off your knees and on your feet, man. We've seen what happens to one plague victim. Let's see what happens to a hundred of them. Is it love that still has you addled? Miss Hale turned you down? Cotton: No. She has accepted me. Wainwright: Be careful what you wish for, then, eh? Cotton: What do you think becomes of us after death? Wainwright: It is not death, Mather, merely marriage. Well, for the victims of this pox, that is precisely what I intend us to find out at the Crags. Cotton: And the rest of us? Wainwright: What has turned your thoughts to the grave? Cotton: I will tell you something I dared not even share with my love. The ghost of my father paid me a visit last night. Go ahead. Laugh if you will. Wainwright: Last night, you were far from sober, and when you left me, you were clearly unfinished. For once, trust reason. Admit that your father's image was the offspring of your own overheated brain. Now come. We're up to our necks in this mess. We may as well be in over our heads. Cotton: The Crags, is it? Wainwright: Have you got any food or drink to bring along? I think we should be out there some time. Cotton: Yes. Anne: [ Sobs ] [ Brown Jenkins squeaking ] I'm no closer to discovering what my father concealed in these pages. I'm sorry to say, Brown Jenkins, so far your blood has been in vain. [ Squeaking ] Then my blood. Aah! [ Whimpers ] [ Breathing heavily ] [ Brown Jenkins squeaking ] Brown Jenkins? My father's book... My father's blood. [ Gasps ] [ Door opens, creaks ] Tituba: Child, what is this? Secrets are meant to be kept. Boy: No! [ Thud ] [ Bird caws ] Tituba: I only meant to say, little master, your memories are your own, as is your destiny. It's best you keep both to yourself for now. [ Door creaks, closes ] Boy: You can come out now. Wainwright: Well, just because you cannot see the world that lies beyond the horizon does not mean it's invisible. Eventually, we will see it. Cotton: You would look into the face of God? Wainwright: Well, some would suggest that God and nature are one and the same. Cotton: [ Chuckles ] Now you blaspheme, sir. Though I could almost agree with you, seeing these angels of nature. Ahh! To fly. Wainwright: Ah, do not envy the birds. They do not fly for joy. They fly to eat. [ Liquid bubbling ] Cotton: Lay aside your science, Wainwright, and fall to your knees. This is what they plan for us... For all of us. Wainwright: They? Who? Cotton: The blackhearted souls who stand behind all of Salem's horrors... Witches. [ Gurgling ] My god! Cotton: If you wondered what the witches were planning with their pox, now you see. They would open the door to Hell. Wainwright: What, so the damned may escape or the devil himself? Cotton: God himself once became flesh and walked among us. Who's to say the devil wouldn't do the same? Wainwright: The only Hell I believe in is a blackened human heart. I don't believe in witches or devils. But I do believe in evil, and I think you're right. There is great evil at work here... Human evil. And if so, it could be anyone, and they are more than likely hiding amongst us. So for the moment, I beg you, say no more of this. The last thing we should do is attract their attention. Look, the key is to understand what they're doing and to try and figure out how to stop them. But say too much too soon, and it'll be they who stop us forever. [ Door creaks ] Cotton: [ Groans ] Here is where the witches would lead all of Salem, all the country, all the world... Into the open mouth of Hell. Increase: At last, you see the truth, my prodigal son. Cotton: Truth? I don't... Know what that even means anymore. Especially when spoken by... A waking dream. Poison be the cure. [ Glass shatters ] And have you journeyed all this way from Hell? Increase: Matter of fact, I have. Cotton: [ Laughs ] Increase: And I haven't much time. Cotton: Wow, that's astonishing! To escape Hell itself, and why? To mock my myriad failures one last time? [ Laughs ] Oh, Father, how you must hate me. Increase: It is not hate compels me here, but love. Cotton: Love? You have never known an instant of love. Where, oh, where did you discover love? Increase: Where else? In Hell. Something happened to me there, most unexpected... Compassion for and with all who suffer. Compassion is a balm, a cooling drop of water in the belly of the volcano. To feel such an emotion when one is burning, suffering. And who suffers more than you, dearest son? Cotton: And your love, I suppose, um... Compelled you to journey all this way to warn me that if I don't change my life, I will end up in Hell beside you. Increase: I've not come to warn you that you could end in Hell. I've come all this way to tell you... You are already there. Cotton: What? Increase: Cotton, you are in Hell, even now. I have seen it. You are burning. And I cannot bear to see it. Cotton: If what you say is true... It is too late. Increase: Save yourself. Cotton: Save myself? But how? Increase: I do not know. I will tell you now what I never told you in life. You are a better man than I. Your mind is deeper, your words are truer, and your heart... Cotton: [ Sobs ] Increase: Your heart is far more pure. Do not let my failures be yours. And know this... I love you. Cotton: [ Sobbing ] Boy: No, she's not. My mother's good. [ Giggles ] She does too love me. That's a lie. My mother is good. [ Giggles ] Mary: Who is here with you? Boy: No One. Mary: Why do you laugh? Boy: That's my friend's name... "No One." Mary: [ Sighs ] And, uh, what was your, uh, friend, No One, saying about me? You can tell me. Go on. Boy: My friend doesn't like you very much. She says underneath your pretty face, you're a horrid old hag, and that you kill people all the time. And she called you... What was it?... Oh, yes, a filthy whore. Mary: John, who taught you such words? Boy: You are alone, all alone, and will die alone, you bloody-handed whore. Mary: Stop it. Stop it, John. Boy: Whore, whore! Whore, whore, whore! Mary: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Boy: [ Gasps ] Mary: John, I am so sorry. Please, I didn't mean it. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Boy: You're not even my real mother. Mary: That's not true. That is not. That's not true. I am your real mother, and I love you with all my heart. Please, I'm sorry. Boy: Get out. I hate you. Get out. Mary: John... Boy: Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! [ Door closes ] Mercy: There, now. She feels your pain. I told you she would. And soon they all will. Shh. Mary: Doctor, what a pleasant surprise. Wainwright: The surprise is entirely mine... Only because I missed the telltale signs for so long. Mary: Whatever are you talking about? Wainwright: Start with Isaac... "Your" Isaac. First victim of this pox that is so impossibly and yet so conveniently confined to Salem. Near whose hand I found the Malum... Which foolish Cotton Mather swears is the source of the pox... And, low and behold, upon further investigation, I find the fool is right. Isaac with a bag of gold amounting to a small fortune, Isaac who spoke only one name over and over in his delirium... "Mary." The same Mary who insisted, against all opposition, that the victims of this pox must be deposited at the Crags. Mary who ordered a cordon around Salem and forbade me travel to Andover in pursuit of a cure. All roads lead to you. The conclusion is inescapable. You, Mary Sibley, are responsible for this pox. Mary: Who have you told? Wainwright: Not a soul. But Cotton Mather has nearly figured it out. And if he knew what I knew, he surely would. But I have convinced him that we must handle this, for the moment, in secrecy. Mary: I suppose you want the glory of catching the witch yourself? Wainwright: Not at all. It is not my sense of justice that is aroused, it is my curiosity. See, I would know how such a thing is possible. Mary: You desire my confession? Wainwright: [ Chuckles ] Open your eyes, woman. It is me, Wainwright. I am not a puritan. Indeed, I'm not even a Christian. No, my religion is science. And I am more convinced than ever that what the Church calls magic and witchcraft is but undiscovered science. I told you once that I had never met a woman like you, one who would peer into the abyss with me. But now I know you have peered longer and deeper than I. Mary: And what is it you want from me? Wainwright: I want in. Tituba: Don't you see, John Alden? We both want the same things. John: You have no idea what I want. Tituba: First the puritans betrayed you, then she betrayed you. Everyone betrayed you, just like they did me. John: Betrayed you? Tituba: I was happy to help these Essex witches kill those who slaughtered my people. But they will never truly accept me as one of them. And she... never loved me. Merely used me. Can't you see how delicious it would be, and how just? You, me... We destroy them all, puritan and witch alike. John: [ Exhales sharply ] [ Both breathing heavily ] Tituba: Can you see now how closely our interests are aligned? John: [ Groans ] [ Both breathing heavily ] Tituba: See how well we work together? [ Moaning ] John: [ Grunting ] [ Both moaning ] John: Ohh! [ Chains rattle ] Ohh! [ Both moaning ] Tituba: Do you see? John: No. Still not seeing it, I'm afraid. So why don't you go to Hell, where you belong? [ Bubbling ] Wainwright: And this orrery, like some celestial clockwork, tracks the comet overhead? Only the great Edmond Halley has even speculated that comets are not singular occurrences, that they cyclically return. And yet you witches have known for centuries. Such knowledge, such power, and yet you hamstring your own great achievements. You are scientists years beyond the rest of us. Why do you hide? Mary: Because they kill us if we do not. Wainwright: I understand now. Like Socrates, like Galileo, like Bruno, you are martyrs of truth. And finally you are fighting back, waging war against the puritans. And wiping out your enemies. Well, I will tell you, your enemies are my enemies. Mary: I have many enemies. Wainwright: Well, perhaps you need some more friends. Trust me and I will dedicate myself to you... All my knowledge, all my insight and ingenuity. Armed with the secrets of your world, I will be not only friend but a weapon. Can you do that... trust me? [ Brown Jenkins squeaking ] Anne: "For there are some who dream not as others dream, who see not as others see, but gaze through stranger eyes. Such are not what they seem by day, but rule the world by night." Mercy: What kind of mother would abandon her only child to the woods? And then leave him in the hands of foul hags for seven years? Such a good boy deserves to have more. Boy: Deserves to have everything. Mercy: [ Laughing ] Oh, yes. That is the spirit. Open it. I know you can. Boy: But it's locked. I've tried it. Mother and Tituba... Mercy: Couldn't keep me out. They cannot keep you in. That door belongs to you. It is yours. All things are yours. Just tell it what to do. Boy: Open. [ Door opens, creaks ] Mary: Now we share one breath. All magic begins in arousal. Wainwright: [ Breathing heavily ] Mary: Slower. Slower. Stop. Contain your excitement. Direct your arousal, or all of this dissolves into dream. [ Indistinct conversations ] [ Dog barking in distance ] Mercy: She wouldn't even let you out to play. Come. Come. The night is our playground. [ Chuckles ] Boy: [ Giggles ] Mercy: Come on. [ Both laugh ] [ Indistinct shouting in distance ] Sebastian: So this is the boy who sets my mother's heart ablaze. You seem an ordinary enough sort to me. But Mother knows best. She says you are very special. A little prince. Well, then, little prince, it's time to meet your queen. Mary: Increase. Increase: I thank you for allowing me to go to my son. Should you ever have children, heed this advice... Do not wait until you are dead to tell them you love them. Mary: I kept my word. Now hurry and keep yours. Where has she hidden the box that contains her soul? In Boston? Increase: No. She keeps it close. It rarely leaves her sight. Mary: Then where? On the ship? Increase: No, not on the ship. It is the ship. Mary: It is the ship? What do you mean? Increase. Increase?	Plan: A: Increase; Q: Who threatens to backfire on Mary? A: a bit; Q: How much of the history surrounding Countess Marburg does Mary learn? A: Anne; Q: Who is visited by the Devil? A: late-night; Q: When did Anne and Cotton receive unexpected visitors? A: her son; Q: What does Mary try to bond with? A: Tituba; Q: Who calls John Alden "Prince"? A: the seemingly scared and vulnerable little boy; Q: Who does Mary discover is harboring unsettling thoughts and predilections? A: Anne Hale; Q: Who discovers her father's secrets? A: the captured John Alden; Q: Who does Tituba try to strike a deal with? Summary: When Increase threatens to backfire on her, she strikes a deal in letting Increase see his own son. While she learns a bit of the history which surrounds Countess Marburg, the key to defeating the Countess still remains hidden. Both Anne and Cotton receive unexpected late-night visitors, with Anne being visited by the Devil and Cotton visited by his father. As Mary tries to bond with her son, she and Tituba discover that the seemingly scared and vulnerable little boy is harboring unsettling thoughts and predilections, and perhaps even darker secrets in that he is called "Prince" by Tituba. Meanwhile, with the help of her familiar, Anne Hale begins to discover some of her father's hidden-and unsettling-secrets; Tituba tries to strike a deal with the captured John Alden.
Street Libson: Captain. Captain: Agent Lisbon. Don't think we'll be needing you guys. We like the neighbour kid who found the body. Libson: Did he confess? Captain: Eh, he's a real squirrel. I'd say... Voice [off-screen]: Mercy's father would like to give a brief statement. Morgan: I just want to take a moment and thank everyone in law enforcement and all the volunteers who helped us in the search for our beloved daughter. The way that this entire community has come together to support me and Juniper in this terrible time has been a great comfort to us. And now I would just like to ask that you give us some time and space and privacy to grieve for our daughter... Tolliver's house Jane: Hello, Mrs Tolliver. Juniper: Who are you? Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm here to help you. Would you like a cup of tea? Juniper: Yes, I would. Thank you. Jane: You must be tired. Why don't you sit down? It's nice and quiet in here, isn't it? Quiet, soothing, calm. Calm. I've been watching you and your husband and I want you to know that I understand what you're feeling right now. Juniper: You have no idea. Believe me. Jane: I do. I know. I know and I want to help you. Juniper: You can't help me. What do you know? Jane: All sorts of things. You really only pretend to like skiing, right? Juniper: Yes, but... Jane: You're pleased that your best friend recently gained some weight, about ten pounds. You wish you'd been more adventurous when you were younger. You love India, but you've never been there. You have trouble sleeping. Your favourite colour is blue. Juniper: I don't understand. You're... you're psychic? Jane: No. Just paying attention. I used to make a good living pretending to be a psychic. I tell you this because I want you to understand there's no point hiding things from me. Juniper: Hiding what? Jane: You know what I see when I look at your husband? I see a warm, loving, generous man. A little vain maybe. Selfish. Controlling. But a decent man. Juniper: Yes. Jane: So why do you suspect him of murdering your daughter? Juniper: I don't. The McCluskey boy did it. Jane: Yes, that's what the police say. But you think they're wrong. Why? Juniper: I don't know, I don't know! I... Jane: Tell me. Juniper: Last year they had been so strange with each other. And neither one would admit that anything was wrong and I think that... I think that she tried to tell me once, and I didn't... I... God. Oh god. Jane: Did you ask him if he killed her? Juniper: What would he say? Jane: Most wives can tell when their husbands are lying. Juniper: Yes. Yes. I... I don't want tea. The McClusky boy did it. Jane: Maybe. Juniper: You think he did it too? Jane: I trust a mother's instinct. Morgan: June. There you are. Hi. Who are you? Jane: I'm the police. Did you kill your daughter? Morgan: How dare you?! Jane: I asked you a simple question, sir. Did you kill your daughter? Morgan: No, I did not kill my daughter! Now you get the hell out of my house! June? June, what's the matter with you? I'm going to have your badge! Jane: An innocent man would have punched me by now. Morgan: I am going to make life miserable for you! You come in here. You accost my wife. You cause trouble... June. June, honey, please... Jane: Honestly. It's not as bad as it looks. Lisbon: Mrs Tolliver. Mrs Tolliver. Palm Springs, California. Two weeks later Price: Then the sonofabitch eagles seventeen. Are you kidding me? On that course! A damn eagle. Tag: That course never suited you, Price. You'll do better in Orlando. We have a nice spot on the draw. Price: Well, I tell you what, Davis Love III can kiss my butt. Price: Alison? Alison! Palm Springs International Airport Van Pelt: Ah, sorry... Lisbon: You checked luggage? What, are you on vacation? Van Pelt: No ma'am. Won't do it again. Lisbon: When your trousseau arrives, pick up the second rental and go direct to the Sheriff's department. Hustle us up a couple of rooms, furniture and phone lines. Van Pelt: Yes, ma'am. Lisbon: Come on, let's go. Riverside County Morgue. Jane: Morning everybody. How was your flight? Lisbon: Go away. You're on suspension. Jane: Thank you. [He runs to catch up with Lisbon and walks beside her.] Mandated leave. Ends next week. Lisbon: So come back next week. Jane: Hot enough for you? Lisbon: Which one of you jackasses told him? It was you, wasn't it Cho. Cho: Yes, it was. Jane: Of course he called me. It's Red John. You can't keep me out of this. Why would you want to? Lisbon: You got a man killed. There's consequences. Jane: A man that murdered his daughter because she wouldn't have sx with him anymore. Lisbon: You didn't know that. You did not know that. If she hadn't left a diary... Jane: But she did, though. Be reasonable. This is my case. Lisbon: Your case. Jane: Red John is mine. Lisbon: Red John doesn't belong to anyone. Jane: He belongs to me. Lisbon: It's not my call. Rules are rules. Come back next week. Don't let this man past. Boss... M.E.: We have Gregory Tannen, Caucasian, male, 43, single. We haven't opened him up yet, but burn marks... Jane: Sorry I went over your head. I'll redeem myself, I promise. Lisbon: If you want redemption, be silent. Jane: Okay, I can really do that. Lisbon: Shh. Sorry. M.E.: ...but burn marks here indicate that the victim was subdued with a stun gun, standard civilian model, by the look of it. Death appears to be caused by several blows to the back of the skull, consistent with a bloodied golf club found at the scene. The female is Alison Randolph, 27, married, no children. They were found at her listed residence. TOD looks to be early Saturday evening. On Alison we have the same stun gun marks, followed by binding with tight black plastic ligatures, frenzied cutting and stabbing assault to the torso and subsequent abuse of the viscera. Cho: Textbook Red John. Lisbon: Who found the bodies? Cho: This one's husband, coming home from the airport Sunday morning with his brother. He's a pro golfer. Rigby: Oh, yeah? Cho: Price Randolph. Lisbon: What's her deal with him? Do we know? Cho: He's on file as one of her physicians. Lisbon: Making a house call? Rigsby: Lovers? Jane: No, this one's gay. M.E.: Dr Wagner might know what their relationship was. He's here to make a formal ID. Jane: Okay. In the hallway of the morgue. Lisbon: Dr Wagner. Hi. I'm Agent Teresa Lisbon, California Bureau of Investigation. What's your connection to the victims? Wagner: Well, I work with Gregory - Dr Tannen - and the Randolph family are long-time clients of our practice. Lisbon: Are house calls the norm at your practice? Wagner: No. Gregory and Alison were close friends. Rigsby: Lovers? Wagner: No, he was gay. No, they were just friends. What in God's name happened to them? Rigsby: Looks like Red John. Wagner: Who's Red John? Lisbon: We don't know who did this. We'll be in touch, probably. Thank you. Randolph house. Partridge: Red John enters here. Excuse me. He comes around here. He waits for her, expecting her to come in alone. Only thing, her friend Tannen chose the wrong night to come over for a Richard Gere and ice cream orgy. So Red John zaps them both with his trusty stun gun and ... excuse me ... grabs a five iron from the bag here and BAM crushes Tannen's skull. Then takes his sweet time dealing with Alison how he likes. She's a nice big girl, so unless he's pretty strong, I guess he grabbed her by the arms... FLASHBACK, 5 YEARS AGO: Interior TV studio. Jane, slick and arrogant, performing a psychic medium act before a live audience. The audience is hushed and still. Jane: He says that he's sorry for all the pain he caused you and your mother. Deeply sorry. He asks you to forgive him. Can you do that, Jenny? He needs to hear it. Jenny: I forgive you, Daddy. I forgive you. Jane: Oh, yes. He's smiling now. There are tears of joy. He says God bless you and keep you. He's gone. Kelly: Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Davids: She's amazed. Patrick. Jane: One second. Kelly: Give him some time. Davids: Absolutely, come on back to us. Jane: I'm back. Thank you. Kelly: He's back. Davids: So Patrick, I understand that you're also sort of a paranormal detective. Is that right? Jane: I try to help the police when I can. Davids: And you're helping them hunt this scary serial killer, what's his name? Kelly: Red John. Davids: Red John. END FLASHBACK Bedroom of the Randolph house. Partridge: There she blows. The classic Red John smiley face. Drawn in the victim's blood clockwise with three fingers of his right hand wearing a rubber kitchen glove. I'm stoked to finally see one in the flesh. Jane: This isn't Red John. Partirdge: Ri-i-ight. Jane: Red John thinks of himself as a showman, an artist. He has a strong sense of theatre. In all of the previous killings, he made sure that the first thing that anyone sees is the face on the wall. You see the face first and you know. You know what's happened and you feel dread. Then, and only then, do you see the body of the victim. Always in that order. Here it's the opposite. The first thing you see is the body and you have to look around to see the face on the wall. It doesn't play nearly as well, does it? Lisbon: Depends on your taste, I suppose. Jane: No. Come on. The killer could have painted on the correct wall, here. But he didn't because he didn't know better because he isn't Red John. Partridge: Wow. Interesting. Jane: You know what your problem is, my friend? You enjoy your work a little too much. You're a ghoul. If you don't get horny reading Fangoria, I'm Britney Spears. Partridge: I resent that! Lisbon: This is you trying to redeem yourself, is it? Jane: I'm sorry. He irks me. He's irksome. (He walks out.) You don't need me here. Sheriff's office. Lisbon: So yeah. This one doesn't fit the pattern. Cho: So Jane was right. We have a copycat. Lisbon: Or we have Red John trying new things. Or we have Red John making a mistake. We don't know. We'll work the evidence until we do know. Go talk to the husband. Rigsby: Will do, Boss. Lisbon: What are you waiting for? Hey. So, you might be right about this case, might be. Thanks for the insight. No, did I say that? I'm acknowledging the fact that you might be right, that's all. I mean, if you wanted to come back, I couldn't stop you. Yeah, fine, I'm asking you to come back. Because... because you're useful to the team. No! No, I won't say 'please', go screw yourself! Jackass. Jane: Good morning. Van Pelt: Can I help you? Jane: You must be Van Pelt. A pleasure. Patrick Jane. Van Pelt: Oh, hi! Good to meet you! Agent Cho said you'd left town. Jane: No. Nowhere to go. Van Pelt: Okay. Uh... do you want that desk over there or this one? I mean, that one gets more light. Jane: That one. More light, by all means. Very pleasant addition to the Serious Crimes family. Lisbon: Oh, hi, when did you get here? Randolph house Price: I lost a beautiful precious angel. Cho: Yes, sir. Good-looking woman. I'm jumping right in, if you don't mind, Price. You missed the tournament cut on Friday, yes? But you didn't come home until Sunday. What did you do with the rest of your time in Fresno? Price: I get this. You guys can't catch the real killer, so you want to lay this one on me? Rigsby: No, sir. If we have confirmation of where you were, it lets us exclude you from the investigation. Price: I was with a massage therapist. Cho: Name? Price: It had Lady in there somewhere. Tag: It'll be on his credit card bill. Price: There you go. Pleasure meeting you boys. Dr Wagner's office. Wagner: ...We're a full service private practice. We deliver primary care, cosmetic surgery, psychotherapy, sports medicine, you name it. Jane: What's the African connection? Wagner: It's what this place is all about. Half of our profits go to build and staff basic health clinics in poor African communities. Well, here we are. It's a thin file. Alison was a healthy young woman. Lisbon: Psychiatric history? Wagner: She didn't have one. Lisbon: STDs? Abortions? Unexplained injuries? Wagner: No. Aside from routine check-ups with me, it's all Dr Tannen. All aesthetic work. Jane: Did Tannen keep a diary? Our last case was solved because the victim kept a diary. Wagner: A diary? I don't think so. Lisbon: Getting back to Alison Randolph. How was her marriage do you think? Happy? Unhappy? Wagner: About six months ago, Dr Tannen asked my advice. Alison had asked him to get her a year's supply of birth control pills off the books, which is strictly against AMA code. I said sure, do it. I mean, better us than some Tijuana drugstore. Lisbon: Why the secrecy? Wagner: Price Randolph had a vasectomy. April of '02. If there's anything else I can do... Lisbon: We appreciate that. Jane: Actually, there is. I'm out of sleeping pills. Can you fix me up? Anything strong will do. Wagner: Sure. Come in for a consultation. We'll squeeze you in this afternoon. Jane: Oh. No. I was hoping to get something now. Trying to avoid the chitchat. Wagner: I'm sorry, I wouldn't be comfortable prescribing without some sort of chit chat. Jane: I understand. No problem. I'll call you, maybe. [SCENE_BREAK] Seafood restaurant Cho: I like the husband for it. He hires some hooker he knows to create an alibi, flies home, filets the spouse, flies back again. It's a classic elaborate and clever, but ultimately stupid, plan. Jane: Have you looked at his PGA tournament record? Cho: Not bad. 6 mill career earnings. Jane: For coming in second and third. You put him on the 18th tee with a big win on the line, like night follows day he'll shank it. He's a choker. He doesn't have the nerve to kill his wife. Didn't do it. Lisbon: Are you suggesting we drop a prime suspect because he's never won a major? Jane: Oh, no, no, no. I'm just making idle conversation. Van Pelt: How'd you do that? Jane: Telekinesis. Cho: He blew on it. Jane: That is another way to do it. Van Pelt: Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path. Jane: Fire away. Van Pelt: When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending? Jane: There's no such thing as real psychics. Van Pelt: I beg to differ. My cousin Yolanda is a psychic. Jane: Your cousin is deluded or dishonest or both. Rigsby: Hey, steady. Van Pelt: No, no, he's entitled to his opinion. He's wrong, though. She has power. She can communicate with the other side. I've seen her do it myself. Jane: She let you speak with someone that's gone. Van Pelt: Yes. Jane: Someone that you love and still miss very much. Van Pelt: Yes. Jane: You wanted her power to be real so it was. Van Pelt: No. Rigsby: You're so sure you're right. Science don't know everything. Van Pelt: Five hundred years ago, radio would have seemed like magic. Rigsby: Exactly. Van Pelt: Five hundred years in the future, it could be totally normal to communicate with the other side. Jane: The other side? Your father's a football coach, yeah? Van Pelt: How did you know that? Jane: It's obvious from your whole demeanour. My point is, didn't dad always say life is like football? When that final whistle blows, the game is over, done. There is no more. There is no other side. This is it. Lobster and bread rolls and nautical kitsch and then psssh. Nothingness. Van Pelt: You poor, sad man. The kingdom of God is a real place. Jane: Okay. Later tonight when Rigsby asks you to come back to his hotel room, say yes. Van Pelt: Excuse me? Jane: I know. You were planning on refusing him very curtly. First week on the job, you want to set a tone. No monkey business. But why not? Rigsby is an excellent lover, I'm sure. Tough, but fair. Right? Right. Van Pelt: The kingdom of God is a real place, Mr Jane. And you have an immortal soul. Jane: Oh, I do so hope you're wrong. Hotel elevator Cho: Goodnight. Van Pelt: Goodnight. Rigsby: Later, dude.This is me.Welcome to the unit, Agent Van Pelt. Van Pelt: Thank you, Agent Rigsby. Jane's hotel room. Van Pelt: "Greetings old friend, it's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have 12 wives now and will soon begin courting number 13. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh well. All the best, Red John." Cho: That sounds like the real deal to me. Jane: Sounds like Red John. It's not. Red John wouldn't risk capture just to taunt me. Rigsby: So the real killer is trying to throw us off track? Lisbon: Cho, find out where Price Randolph was a half an hour ago. Rigsby, I want you to check the hotel security cameras. Get those over to forensics. You okay? Jane: Absolutely. Lisbon: Get some sleep. Sheriff's Office. Rigsby: Hello. Jane: Morning. Lisbon: You didn't sleep, did you? Hi, I'd like to make an appointment with Dr Wagner, please. It's urgent. Jane. Patrick Jane. Yeah, I'll hold. Rigsby: Forensics maybe got a break. The blood in the clot in the envelope is Alison Randolph's, but they found a hair in there. Doesn't belong to her or Tannen. Guess who it does belong to? Interrogation room. Cho: It's yours, Tag. Amazing, huh? Science. Tag: This is insane. I didn't... I didn't kill Alison. Cho: How do you explain your hair in the envelope? Tag: Either it's a mistake, or... or I'm being framed. Cho: Who would want to frame you? We don't want to, if that's what you're thinking. Jane: He and Alison were lovers. Cho: Who would want to frame you, Tag? Tag: My brother. Cho: Why would he want to do that? Tag: Alison and I were lovers. Van Pelt: I think you are psychic. You're just afraid to admit it. Jane: Hmm. Wagner's office Wagner: So. Jane: So. Wagner: Why is it you can't sleep? Jane: Because I can't get the good pills without talking to a doctor. Wagner: And you don't like talking to doctors. Jane: Meh. They always want to be the smartest person in the room, don't they? When in fact that's me, obviously. Wagner: You protect your core self very fiercely. What do you think is the reason for that? Jane: You know, this is exactly how I imagined it would be. Are you going to ask me about my mother? Wagner: Do you want me to ask you about your mother? Jane: I just want to sleep. Wagner: What is it that keeps you awake? FLASHBACK Davis: What's his name? Red John? Jane: That's right. Red John. He's killed at least 8 women that we know of. The police asked me to try and get a psychic fix on him and see if I can get a sense of who this man is. Davids: How do you do that exactly? Get a psychic fix on someone? Jane: Well, Davis, true demonic evil burns like fire. It burns with a terrible cold, dark flame. I force myself to look into that flame and I see an image of the evil-doer; in this case, Red John. He's an ugly, tormented little man; a lonely soul. Sad, very sad. END OF FLASHBACK Wagner: Mr Jane. Mr Jane? What is it that keeps you awake? Jane: Um. You know, when I was a boy, we had a farm. It was a lot of work. I was kind of a lazy kid. Wagner: Yes? Jane: I'd always be trying to get my little brother Jimmy to do my chores for me. One day I promised him a dollar if he cut the firewood. Well, he opened an artery in his leg on the saw and he bled to death. Died. Doing my chores for me. Wagner: You know, that's almost exactly the same thing that happened to Johnny Cash. Jane: Is it really? Wow. That's spooky. Sheriff's office Cho: Mr Randolph, good... Price: Cut the crap. My brother's done nothing. You scumbags haven't got the stones to come after me, so you go after my family. That is flat-out persecution. Lawyer: Price, what did we agree? Cho: Mr Randolph, rest assured there's no intent to persecute you. We scumbags are holding your brother because we have physical evidence linking him to the crime, and potential motive, in that he states whenever you weren't around he was banging your wife like a big bass drum. Price: Tag and Alison? Cho: That's what he states. He further states it was you that killed Alison, and you're now trying to frame him in revenge. Price: My god, what did you say?! What? bstrd! Tag: Son of a bitch! You treated her like trash! What did you expect? Price: I didn't expect my little brother to bang my wife, you little punk bst*rd! Wagner's office. Wagner: Everything you told me is total fiction, isn't it? Jane: Yes. Wagner: Why? I can tell you're in real pain. Why not tell the truth? Jane: The truth is mine. Wagner: I hear you. Jane: Thank you. Jane: Oh, yes. Remember we were talking about Tannen the other day and I asked you if he kept a diary and you said that he did? Well, there's no diary among his effects... Wagner: No. Jane: I'm sorry, no? Wagner: No. You have it wrong. I didn't think he kept a diary. Jane: Strange. Then it must have been someone else who told me. Either that or I'm going mad. But I definitely 100% remember hearing that Tannen kept a diary. Wagner: That is strange. But why does it matter if he kept a diary? Jane: You're right, it doesn't matter. Only I was thinking, why do magicians have beautiful girl assistants? Wagner: Why? Jane: Because they're reliable distracters of attention. People will look at a beautiful girl for a long time before they look where they should be looking if they want to see how the trick really works. Anyhow, I'll send over a couple of forensics guys tomorrow to search his office and locate that diary. Wagner: Didn't they already search his office? Jane: Oh, they never do it thoroughly the first time.Once more for luck, eh? It's gotta be there somewhere.Thanks for everything, Doc. Wagner: Goodnight. Goodnight. Tannen's office Jane: Lost something? Wagner: How did you get in? Jane: The door was open. I think I left my phone in your office. Wagner: The door wasn't open. Jane: Must have been. Here I am. FLASHBACK We see Jane, as he was giving Wagner the hug, taking his key-card out of his pocket. END OF FLASHBACK Jane: What are you doing? Wagner: I confess, the temptation to play detective was a little too strong. I was looking for that diary. I got a little carried away. Jane: No kidding. And no diary? Wagner: No diary. Jane: Maybe I should have a gander. I'm good at finding things. Wagner: Be my guest. Jane: Eureka.Dr Wagner, thank you for your help. Wagner: Mr Jane, your phone. Jane: Right. Thanks. Oh, yeah, got it. Silly of me. Well, goodbye again. Wagner: Wait. Give me the diary. That's very amusing. Jane: I try. Wagner: I knew. I knew it might be a trick. But I had to be sure. Jane: Yes. That's how the trick works. Wagner: What led you to me? Not that I'm saying I did it, I'm just asking. Jane: When we first met, you said you didn't know who Red John was, but you have books on criminal psychiatry there that have chapters on him. You're the Randolph family doctor, so you could easily get a strand of Tag's hair and being a doctor, you can hack up another human without difficulty. It's obvious it was you. Wagner: That's it? You have nothing. That's just guesswork. Jane: Oh, I know. I just wanted to be sure I had the right answer. I was surprised, I've got to be honest. You don't seem to be a wicked man. But you are. Wagner: You're angry about the letter. Yeah, it was a bit mean-spirited. For the record, I'm sorry about your family. I can only imagine your pain. I'm not a wicked man. My conscience is clear. Jane: Really? Wagner: Right now, in Africa, there's 3000 beautiful children alive today who should be dead, but they aren't, because of me. Tannen was going to ruin me and destroy all that work. Over nothing. Money. Theft, he called it. Embezzlement. The self-righteous idiot. It's simple math. If I go to jail, thousands of kids will die, so I made a rational moral decision to kill Tannen for the greater good. Jane: And Alison? What did she do wrong? Wagner: As you said, she was the magician's assistant. Just a distraction. If only Tannen died, the police would have been all over this place, wouldn't they? Truly, is killing two any worse than killing one? When so many lives are at stake? I don't think so. Jane: You poor, sad man. You're under arrest. Let's go. Wagner: I'm pointing a gun at you. Jane: You really think I would set you up so nicely and let you pull a loaded gun on me? I took the bullets out earlier. Jane: You're late! Rigsby: What? Jane: Draw your weapon! Rigsby: Huh? Drop the gun! Hands on your head. Get down on your knees. Down. Sheriff's Office Jane: Case closed doughnuts are here.I just went to get sleeping pills, I swear to God. I didn't even want to go. You know I didn't want to go. Van Pelt: Right. Rigsby: Yeah, you didn't set Wagner up. Didn't figure it was him days ago. Cho: You didn't let us tear apart the victim's family simply to satisfy your childish need for drama. Jane: Eh. That family was screwed anyway. Don't blame yourselves, guys. Lisbon: Don't even start. I'm still angry. Jane: I'm sorry. Lisbon: No you're not. A frog? Well, this makes everything better, doesn't it? Jane's Malibu house. Evening. He comes through the front door and puts some mail on the table by the door. We see that it's now the only furniture in the house, which has been stripped bare. Jane goes upstairs to the room where his family was killed. There is a mattress on the floor. He lies on it fully clothed. The camera pans up and we see that the bloody smiley face is still on the wall above the mattress, faded with time.	Plan: A: Palm Springs; Q: Where were the golf pro's wife and doctor murdered? A: the California Bureau of Investigation; Q: Who is called in to investigate the murders of a golf pro's wife and doctor? A: a detective and independent consultant; Q: What is Patrick Jane's job title? A: Teresa Lisbon; Q: Who is the Senior Agent in the CBI? A: her team; Q: Who does Teresa Lisbon lead? A: rookie member Grace Van Pelt; Q: Who is the new member of the CBI team? A: a particular interest; Q: What does the case of the golf pro's wife and doctor pose for Patrick Jane? A: the killer's calling card; Q: What is a red smiley face drawn with the victim's blood? A: the famed "Red John; Q: Who is the killer trying to pin the murders on? A: a serial killer; Q: What is "Red John"? A: daughter; Q: What did Red John murder in addition to Jane's wife? A: Jane's mentalist skills; Q: What tells Jane the real killer is trying to pin the murders on "Red John"? A: the team; Q: Who questions Jane's tactics? A: the golf pro; Q: Who was having an affair with the wife of the doctor? A: his brother; Q: Who was sleeping with the golf pro's brother's wife? A: money; Q: What was the doctor's business partner embezzling? A: the crime; Q: What do the agents hope to solve by working with Jane? Summary: When a golf pro's wife and her doctor are murdered in Palm Springs, the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) is called in to investigate. Patrick Jane, a detective and independent consultant for CBI, uses his razor sharp skills of observation to assist a by-the-book Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon and her team (agents Kimball Cho, Wayne Rigsby and rookie member Grace Van Pelt) in finding the killer. The case poses a particular interest for Jane as the killer's calling card (a red smiley face drawn with the victim's blood) suggests it is the famed "Red John": a serial killer who years ago murdered Jane's wife and daughter. However, after further investigation, Jane's mentalist skills tell him the real killer is trying to pin the murders on "Red John" and the team needs to take a closer look at the other suspects including the golf pro, who was having an affair; his brother, who was sleeping with his brother's wife; and the doctor's business partner, who was embezzling money. And while the team may question Jane's tactics, they know working together with him will help lead them to solving the crime.
The War Games By Malcolm Hulke and Terrance Dicks 5:15pm - 5:40pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1, EXT: BEHIND THE CHATEAUX (Against a wall the Doctor is trussed up like a prize guinea-fowl waiting for the oven. Before him a line of soldiers stands with their rifles raised.) RANSOM: Aim! (Ransom draws in a breath to issue his final order. There is the sound of gunfire and the Doctor tenses himself, and then relaxes for a moment opening his eyes. He is still very much intact, but one of the soldiers is not so lucky. Ransom rushes over to him as he falls to the ground blood seeping from a hole in his shoulder. Ransom pulls out his service revolver and looks around, keeping low. A strangely dressed sniper at a high window adjusts his aim. Another rifle shot explodes singing past the Captain, he turns to a soldier.) RANSOM: Run back! (Ransom and the others rush forwards and engage the man in a firefight. Another man drops, and Zoe rushes over to him, but he is dead. She swiftly moves over to the Doctor and attempt to untie him.) DOCTOR: Phew! Well done Zoe! Can you undo it? ZOE: Oh Doctor! (She struggles a little.) ZOE: Oooh! ...Come on! (The Doctor and Zoe run off while Ransom and his men are engaged.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (General Smythe faces his video link.) SMYTHE: I am leaving for the conference now. (He turns the link off and closes the hinged picture of the King. There is a faint breeze as dimensions blur and air is displaced with a rich sparkling sound. In the corner of the room is a tall featureless green box the size of a wardrobe which wasn't there before. With a dry mechanical scraping the front section of the box extends outwards like a vertical drawer revealing a dark interior. The door to the General's room is thrown open as Ransom blusters in.) RANSOM: General Smythe, the prisoners 'ave... (He stops and stares at the box a little vaguely as if his mind were trying to decide whether he has seen it or not.) SMYTHE: Ransom, get out! RANSOM: Oh, what..? (The General places his spectacles upon his nose.) SMYTHE: There is nothing there. You can see nothing! RANSOM: No sir, there's nothing there. SMYTHE: You have not seen me. I have been called away to an important meeting. RANSOM: Important meeting... Yeah. (The General removes his spectacles and smiles thinly at Ransom who is still trance-like, then he walks into the box, the door sliding closed noisily behind him. With a sparkling sound it vanishes into thin air leaving nothing but wooden panelled wall. Ransom snaps out of his haze, and looks around the room.) RANSOM: General Smythe?! Oh... 'Course, he's gone to that meeting! (He leaves the room closing the door behind him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3, INT: CELL (Jamie holds the barbed wire entwined bars of the external door on the military prison.) JAMIE: Hey do I not get any breakfast? (Two guards approach and open the door. They roughly thrust a prisoner into the cell who trips and falls to the floor. As the guards are leaving Jamie tries to creep out, but a guard grabs him and shoves him back into the cell, then departs closing to door behind him. Jamie looks at his cellmate incredulously. He is a confused looking young English redcoat from his own time - silly wig and all, here in 1917!.) JAMIE: Redcoat?! What are you doing here? REDCOAT: Highlander! (Upon seeing Jamie he jumps up and scampers into a corner looking like a frightened bedraggled rabbit.) REDCOAT: Keep away from me, you! JAMIE: Hey, e-easy now! I-I I'm a prisoner too you know! How'd you get here? Well come on how did you get here?! REDCOAT: I don't know, I can't remember! I got lost I think. JAMIE: What year d'you think it is? REDCOAT: Year? Well, it's seventeen forty five! JAMIE: Sss?! [SCENE_BREAK] 4, EXT: FOREST (High up, from a hiding place in a forest on the edge of the perimeter the Doctor views the cluster of buildings that make up the military prison through a battered brass telescope.) DOCTOR: Oh yes...yes. Yes that's it. That's the military prison all right. That's where Jamie'll be. Take a look. (He hands the telescope to Zoe who looks.) DOCTOR: Trouble is those sentries. (He taps the telescope case with a finger as he considers the problem.) ZOE: What are we going to do? DOCTOR: Dunno... We shall have to think of something. Come on. (Along the road that runs next to the forest, a wonderful old staff car chugs. Zoe and the Doctor scramble and slide down the side of a steep verge until they are in the road before the car, which he stops by holding up to arms at the bewildered looking driver.) DOCTOR: STOP! DRIVER: Wha? DOCTOR: And about time too! DRIVER: Eh? DOCTOR: You were sent to meet us! DRIVER: Meet who? DOCTOR: Now don't argue! Take us to the prison! Hah, in you get Miss Herriot. (He helps Zoe into the back of the car.) DOCTOR: Well drive on! (The driver thinks for a moment, but then shrugs and continues driving.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5, INT: CELL (Jamie is attempting to coax more information from his cellmate, but isn't having much luck. He brandishes a leg that he pulled from a chair about at no-one in particular.) JAMIE: Look, you must try and remember! REDCOAT: I told ya! I was fighting in the Highlands, I got lost and I don't... (A neuron in the Redcoat's brain fires.) REDCOAT: There was this mist... JAMIE: Aha? REDCOAT: It came down all round me. The next thing I knew everything was different. JAMIE: Well, how d'you mean different? REDCOAT: Well th-there were these great big guns, bigger than I'd ever seen before, and carts moving along without 'orses! JAMIE: Aye, I-I I've seen those too. Now go-on go-on... REDCOAT: Well, then-then these fellows in the funny uniforms came along, and they caught me and brought me 'ere. Where are we? JAMIE: I don't know. But I've gotta get to the Doctor. Look, and you're gonna help me. REDCOAT: Oh no! I don't trust you, your one of them rebels! JAMIE: Now look, just you listen to me a moment! (He advances on the Redcoat menacingly, the chair leg in his hand...) [SCENE_BREAK] 6, INT: COMMANDANT'S OFFICE (A chubby mustachioed Commandant speaks into a black phone.) GORTON: Who? Civilians?! Well tell them to wait, I'm having my tea! (He delicately stirs his tea and taps the spoon on the side of his cup three times before placing it on the desk. He regally picks it up with a finger and thumb and takes a sip. The door bursts open and the Doctor storms in.) DOCTOR: How DARE YOU treat me like THIS Sir! (A torrent of tea explodes over Gorton's neat uniform as he is caught in mid-gurgle, unsure of whether to spit or swallow.) GORTON: What?! Who the blazes are you?! DOCTOR: Don't you address me like that sir! This is DISGRACEFUL! I shall make a complaint directly to the MINISTER himself! GORTON: Minister? Oh, I don't understand... Who are you? DOCTOR: I-I I'm the examiner from the war office, I-I'm here to inspect the military prisons! This young lady is my secretary. Wha..Well-ah well you were expecting us surely?! GORTON: Well ah, there must be some mistake, I mean... Can I see your identification papers? DOCTOR: HOW DARE YOU! You send no car to meet us on our arrival, and now you add insult to injury by doubting my credentials! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM SIR?! GORTON: Well I'm-I'm terribly sorry and all that. It-it's probably our adjutant's fault. Would you care for some tea? DOCTOR: We are here to inspect the security arrangements of the prison. Now I suggest we stop wasting time and get on with it! [SCENE_BREAK] 7, INT: DRAWING ROOM (Ransom, Carstairs and Jennifer pore over a map.) RANSOM: Not a trace of them. General Smythe will be furious. We must get those people back. CARSTAIRS: Yes of course sir. RANSOM: Now you're got to help me, both of you. Get a party from my sergeant and search this building. CARSTAIRS: Yes sir. RANSOM: I'll take a patrol towards the German lines. BUCKINGHAM: What shall I do? RANSOM: I'd like you to stay here and man the telephone. I've put out an alert and someone might phone in some information. Alright Carstairs? CARSTAIRS: Yes sir! RANSOM: Er, Lady Jennifer...if the General returns perhaps you'd explain what has happened? BUCKINGHAM: Certainly. Where's he gone? RANSOM: He's... Been called away to an urgent meeting. (Ransom marches off, and Carstairs returns to the table for his hat.) BUCKINGHAM: I know it's an awful thing to say but I can't help hoping that they get away. CARSTAIRS: I know just how you feel. Still... (He places his hat on his head and grins.) RANSOM OOV: CARSTAIRS! CARSTAIRS: Excuse me. (He leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8, INT: CELL (The redcoat is attempting to pin Jamie to the floor who is struggling wildly.) JAMIE: Help me, guard! REDCOAT: Yerright...I'll kill you! JAMIE: He's trying to kill me! Stop it! GUARD: Get off 'im! (The guards pull the redcoat and Jamie up from the floor.) JAMIE: Now! (They both swing into action thumping the guards who fall surprisingly easily.) JAMIE: You fight very well - for a redcoat. (They rush out of the cell.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9, INT: DRAWING ROOM (Carstairs walks through the door which has been marked "SALOON BAR" by some graffiti artist, and over to Lady Jennifer who is finishing a telephone call.) BUCKINGHAM: All right Corporal, I'll tell the Captain. (She replaces the receiver.) BUCKINGHAM: Any luck? CARSTAIRS: Not a sign. BUCKINGHAM: Command and Control post, nothing to report. CARSTAIRS: Poor old Ransom! He's in for a sticky time when the General gets back. BUCKINGHAM: Didn't you think that there was something rather strange about that court-martial? CARSTAIRS: Ah well, military justice you know - s'not like The Old Bailey. BUCKINGHAM: No but, you remember we were talking about not remembering things? CARSTAIRS: Yes? BUCKINGHAM: Well things are starting to come back to me. CARSTAIRS: What sort of things? BUCKINGHAM: Well I was on the way to the hospital, well behind the lines; I was driving through a forest and all of a sudden there was a strange sort of... Mist... Fog. And then I was in the field dressing station looking after some wounded soldiers. CARSTAIRS: Hmm. Loss of memory... BUCKINGHAM: No, but isn't it strange that you should to be suffering from it too? (Carstairs clicks his fingers as if he had just had a sudden revelation.) CARSTAIRS: Mist! BUCKINGHAM: What about it? CARSTAIRS: I wonder, could it be some kind of new gas? If perhaps the Germans have invented a new type of poison gas - one that affects our mind. Minds... [SCENE_BREAK] 10, INT: COMMANDANT'S OFFICE (Gorton is showing the Doctor and Zoe a map of the prison and it's defences.) GORTON: And finally on the outer perimeter there are the concealed tripwires and the patrols. DOCTOR: Aah. ZOE: Certainly does look escape proof! DOCTOR: I'd like to see the records. GORTON: What? Oh yes, they're over here. You won't find anything wrong there. DOCTOR: I sincerely hope not! GORTON: There you are! DOCTOR: Oh yes! GORTON: Arrivals... DOCTOR: ...Yes GORTON: Lengths of sentences! Discharges. (The Doctor reads the record book.) DOCTOR: Yes, arrivals... Latest arrival Scottish deserter awaiting return to his regiment. Possible to talk to a prisoner? GORTON: Well, er, it's very irregular... (The Doctor shoots him a steely look.) GORTON: Ah-hah, however, er for you I'm sure I can arrange... (The telephone rings and Gorton answers it.) GORTON: Excuse me. Gorton here. What? Escaped?! Well get onto it right away man! Let me know as soon as you've got them! (He slams the phone down then looks up, as if he'd momentarily forgotten the Doctor was there.) DOCTOR: Is something the matter Commandant? GORTON: Er, nothing important. DOCTOR: Did I hear you say that someone had escaped? GORTON: Oh well-eeh, as a matter of fact, yes. Two chaps. Ah, one of them was the Scotsman that you were talking about... [SCENE_BREAK] 11, EXT: MILITARY PRISON (Jamie and the redcoat move along beside a wall. Jamie puts up a hand to stop the redcoat, then motions him forward. As they approach a gate a squad of guards jump up from behind the cover of a stone wall and level their revolvers.) GUARD: Halt or we fire! JAMIE: Come on! (Jamie and the redcoat run back the way they came as shots begin to ring out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12, INT: COMMANDANT'S OFFICE (Gorton is talking on the telephone.) GORTON: Shot? Both of them? I see, right. Keep me informed. (He replaces the receiver.) GORTON: That's one of 'em! Shot while trying to escape! ZOE: Shot?! Well which one was it, the Highlander? GORTON: No, but does it matter? DOCTOR: MATTER? Why, eeh...of COURSE it matters! Shooting down prisoners, why it's barbaric! GORTON: But they were trying to escape! DOCTOR: Well that's no excuse for murder! I-I want the other man brought here. GORTON: Well what for? DOCTOR: I'm not satisfied, I want to hear the prisoner's side of the story. (Gorton looks extremely annoyed but his military mind still remains obedient to his apparent superior.) GORTON: Aaah! [SCENE_BREAK] 13, EXT: MILITARY PRISON (Jamie is dragged along to the Commandant's office by two guards.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14, INT: COMMANDANT'S OFFICE (The guards deposit Jamie who looks around and greets the Doctor enthusiastically.) JAMIE: Doctor! DOCTOR: We'll see you get a Doctor if you need one, my man! Right let him go ...Uh-uh, Commandant, dismiss your man! GORTON: Uh, carry on. (To Jamie's astonishment the Guards release him and leave. As Jamie attempts to talk the Doctor talks over him.) JAMIE: Ehwhatareyoudoing?! DOCTOR: SPEAK when you're SPOKEN to! Now then what's all this about trying to escape? JAMIE: Whatareyouupto?! DOCTOR: I'm NOT concerned with that! What about the-the other man you were with? JAMIE: Oh, he was shot in the leg, a-and they were going to shoot me too! DOCTOR: I see. This is very serious, I shall have to make a full report. GORTON: But they were trying to escape! My men had no alternative but to shoot! DOCTOR: We'll see what General Smythe has to say about that! Hahaha. (Gorton has had enough.) GORTON: Indeed we will! DOCTOR: Ah, what are you doing? GORTON: I'm going to telephone General Smythe. I've had about all I can take from you sir! (He picks up the telephone receiver.) GORTON: Er, General Smythe. DOCTOR: Ah, you'll regret this, er, the Minister... GORTON: I don't care two hoots about the Minister! Hah! Besides, I'm not even sure you're from the War Office! Yes, where are your identity papers? DOCTOR: My identity papers? (The Doctor makes to search his pockets.) GORTON: I thought so! I thought there was a fishy story all along! Hello, is that...aiiigh! (Gorton is swiftly cut off by Zoe as she obliterates a vase of flowers on his head.) ZOE: I'm sorry Doctor but it seemed the only way. DOCTOR: Oh well done Zoe! (He examines Gorton.) DOCTOR: Yes I, I think he'll survive. Right, come on. Let's see if we can bluff our way out of here! (The Doctor rushes over to the door, Jamie and Zoe following.) JAMIE: W-yeah, but why were you kidding wh... (As the Doctor opens the door his face falls at the sight of a bemused Captain Ransom and guards standing in the doorway.) RANSOM: Going somewhere? Perhaps I can give you a lift? [SCENE_BREAK] 15, INT: DRAWING ROOM (Carstairs is still chatting to Jennifer.) BUCKINGHAM: General Smythe had made up his mind that those men were guilty, he wanted that man to be shot! CARSTAIRS: But perhaps he knew that they were guilty? BUCKINGHAM: Oh you don't really believe that?! (Carstairs shrugs.) CARSTAIRS: No I don't. (Ransom swaggers in grinning happily.) RANSOM: Well we've got them! You'll never believe where we found them. CARSTAIRS: Hah, where were they? RANSOM: Well I was on the way back here, I'd given up the search. Suddenly occurred to me I'd better go and tell old Gorton about it. BUCKINGHAM: Well who's Gorton? RANSOM: He's the Commandant at the prison. Popped into his office and there they were! CARSTAIRS: What were they doing there? RANSOM: Hahaha! Well, you know that chap, he'd convinced old Gorton that he was the Minister from Whitehall! And he'd nearly bluffed him into letting that Scots lad go! Hahaha! I don't know... I must say I admire his er... Gore. It seems a pity really... Have to shoot him. (He places a pipe into his mouth and contemplates silently to himself as he strikes a match. Carstairs approaches him.) CARSTAIRS: Sir, I'd like to speak to you sir; the court martial, it wasn't in accordance with King's regulations. RANSOM: Wha? CARSTAIRS: Ah, I'm not satisfied. RANSOM: Oh don't be ridiculous man it's perfectly fair! General's a great stickler for that kind of thing. Sentence will be carried out as soon as he returns. Lady Jennifer, notify Command Posts will you? Let them know the hunt's over. BUCKINGHAM: Ah, yes, certainly. (He walks out puffing on his pipe.) BUCKINGHAM: D'you see, he didn't remember what happened at the court martial! CARSTAIRS: He really seems to believe they had a fair trial! BUCKINGHAM: The General wanted that man to be shot - why? CARSTAIRS: I don't know... I think I'd better have a word with those civilians and try and find out. If Ransom comes back, try and keep him occupied will you? BUCKINGHAM: Right! (Carstairs leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16, INT: CELL (The Doctor is pacing the cell trying to fit all the pieces together to come up with a vaguely recognisable picture.) DOCTOR: A redcoat Jamie?! JAMIE: Aye, and he thinks he's in 1745! DOCTOR: But that's a complete anachronism! JAMIE: Aye... Eh, it's a what? DOCTOR: It's something out of it's own time. ZOE: Yes, like the telecommunications unit in the General's room that I told you about. DOCTOR: Yeah. JAMIE: Eh? ZOE: I found it when I was looking for the key. DOCTOR: Both these things are in the wrong time! But what are they doing here in 1917? (The door opens and a stern Carstairs, his revolver held up walks into the cell.) CARSTAIRS: Close the door! (The door shuts and locks behind him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17, INT: DRAWING ROOM (Lady Jennifer is talking on the telephone.) BUCKINGHAM: Yes Major, they were recaptured half an hour ago. Captain Ransom wanted me to let you know. Goodbye. (She replaces the receiver.) BUCKINGHAM: I've notified all the command posts. RANSOM: That's awfully kind of you. Has the General not returned yet. BUCKINGHAM: No. Er, does he often disappear like this? I mean, surely he ought to keep you informed? RANSOM: Well, he's a very busy man you know. Where's young Carstairs? BUCKINGHAM: Oh er, he's-he's gone to look for some transport. RANSOM: Oh good! I think I'd better go and make certain those prisoners are safely under lock and key. (Ransom gets up.) BUCKINGHAM: ...Ooh it-it, um... It must be very difficult working for someone like General Smythe... RANSOM: Yes, I suppose he is a bit of a martinet, he has a great deal of responsibility you know. BUCKINGHAM: Oh yes, but a great deal falls upon your shoulders, Captain. RANSOM: Yes I suppose it is a job, running a place like this you know. Quite a problem. People don't understand it's the paperwork you see! It's quite fantastic how many forms we have to fill in. Just look at that! (Ransom hands Lady Jennifer a wad of papers and sits down again as he begins to talk.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18, INT: CELL (Carstairs is struggling to understand.) CARSTAIRS: But what is a video screen? Is it some kind of cinematograph? ZOE: Oh well it's a bit more complicated than that. If only I could show it to you. DOCTOR: If you'll take us to the General's room, we'll prove this thing exists! CARSTAIRS: Alright, you show it to me and I'll believe you! (He knocks twice on the door with his revolver.) CARSTAIRS: But you'd better be right! (The door opens.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19, INT: DRAWING ROOM (Lady Jennifer smiles at Captain Ransom.) BUCKINGHAM: I see! But how do you keep a track of all the equipment? RANSOM: Ah well, now that's the problem. I keep sending the Sublieutenants the forms, and they... They just don't fill them in! BUCKINGHAM: But if they're at the front fighting... RANSOM: There's no excuse for mislaying valuable military equipment. Do you know...in the...last push we lost over one hundred shovels? (The telephone rings and Lady Jennifer swiftly picks it up just as Ransom makes a grab for it.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20, INT: CELL CARSTAIRS: Hello, la-lady Jennifer? Carstairs. Look, I... What there with you now? Well get rid of him, quickly! [SCENE_BREAK] 21, INT: DRAWING ROOM BUCKINGHAM: Y-yes, all right. I will. RANSOM: That for me? BUCKINGHAM: Yes alright. (She replaces the receiver.) RANSOM: Who was there? BUCKINGHAM: The General. (Ransom jumps up.) RANSOM: The General?! (Lady Jennifer nods.) BUCKINGHAM: He's at um, number seventeen command post and he'd like you to join him there immediately. RANSOM: Oh right. Well what's he doing there? That's the farthest point in the sector! Mm, I better join him I suppose. Jolly nice talking to you! You know... Not many women take an interest in the problems of supply. Goodbye. (Taking his hat from the table, he leaves. Moments later the phone rings and she picks up.) BUCKINGHAM: Yes, yes he's just gone. Oh. Oh alright. (She replaces the receiver, then moves over to the window to check that Ransom has left in his car. She turns to see Carstairs and the prisoners walking about free.) BUCKINGHAM: What on Earth are you doing?! DOCTOR: There's no time to explain now. Now where is this thing Zoe? ZOE: It's over there. (She leads the Doctor towards the General's room.) BUCKINGHAM: But that's the General's private room! 22, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (Carstairs opens the door to the General's room and they all pile inside. Zoe goes straight for the picture of the King and opens it, beneath, the video screen glows to itself.) ZOE: There it is! CARSTAIRS: There's nothing there, only wall. DOCTOR: What, d'you mean you can't see that screen? (The screen appears as a section of blank wooden wall to them.) BUCKINGHAM: What are we supposed to be looking at? CARSTAIRS: Well I still can't see anything. DOCTOR: Look at the wall! Concentrate! (Slowly the blank wall melts away.) BUCKINGHAM: It is there, I can see it! DOCTOR: Can you see it yet? CARSTAIRS: Yes, but... What's it for? ZOE: Well it's like a telephone, only you can see people as well as hear them. BUCKINGHAM: What's on the other end? [SCENE_BREAK] 23, INT: THE WAR ROOM (General Smythe and a subordinate wearing a pair of strange futuristic glasses peer down at a transparent map which is divided into sections as if it were the board of a game. In the centre of the board everything that is going on in the room is being observed in an integrated screen. The tiny image of the Doctor looks up out of the game board.) DOCTOR: Good heavens this thing is switched on! (The image of the Doctor reaches forwards, towards the screen and vanishes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM ZOE: But we didn't see anything on the screen. DOCTOR: No, but somebody may have seen us! We've got to get away from here, all of us. CARSTAIRS: Get away, where d'you hope to get to? DOCTOR: Well anywhere so long as it's away from here. CARSTAIRS: I-I-I just can't let you go - just like that! (He turns to Carstairs and Lady Jennifer.) DOCTOR: Yes you can! And you've gotta come too, your lives will be in danger now, both of you! BUCKINGHAM: I think he's right. (Carstairs raises his revolver.) DOCTOR: Now look, my friends and I are leaving here - are you going to shoot us down?! (Carstairs lowers the gun.) CARSTAIRS: Alright. I'll believe you. (He closes the picture and replaces his gun in his shoulder holster. They all exit the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25, INT: DRAWING ROOM BUCKINGHAM: I'll get the ambulance. CARSTAIRS: Ah yes, ah meet you by the front entrance. DOCTOR: What do you want us to do? CARSTAIRS: Ah, just clamber into the ambulance and keep quiet, I'm going to have to bluff our way past the sentries. Now just wait here, I'll get some maps. (He leaves.) JAMIE: Are we going back to the TARDIS now? DOCTOR: No-no-no-no, we must stay here, er...and see what is happening! ZOE: We can't leave these people now anyway! JAMIE: No I suppose not. DOCTOR: Right, are you ready? Come on! (As the are leaving Ransom walks in and is surprised to see the prisoners.) RANSOM: Carstairs, what's going on? CARSTAIRS: Orders from the General sir. He wants the prisoners taken to HQ immediately! RANSOM: Are you sure your message is genuine? CARSTAIRS: Well yes sir, I spoke to the General personally! RANSOM: Well I dunno, I had a message to meet him at command post seventeen, that was a fake! CARSTAIRS: Well the General was most insistent sir, but of course it uh, it is up to you, sir. RANSOM: Oh you, you'd b-better carry on. CARSTAIRS: Very good sir. (He levels his gun at the prisoners.) CARSTAIRS: Alright, move off. Any trouble mind, I won't hesitate to fire! RANSOM: Just a minute Carstairs... CARSTAIRS: Sir? RANSOM: Where's Lady Jennifer? CARSTAIRS: She's somewhere around sir. RANSOM: Right. (Carstairs and the others leave.) RANSOM: I want a word with her! [SCENE_BREAK] 26, EXT: ROAD (The ambulance draws up and stops with it's engine running.) DOCTOR: Right Zoe, up you go (They pile into the back and Carstairs walks around the front.) JAMIE: Okay, right. (Jamie grabs a dangling strap and hoists himself onto the back of the ambulance as it drives off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (With a sparkling sound the green box materialises. The door scrapes open and General Smythe strides out looking around. He moves to the picture which hasn't be closed properly, and snaps it shut.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28, INT: DRAWING ROOM (With a thunderous look the General leaves his room approaches Ransom, who stands to greet him.) SMYTHE: Where are the prisoners? RANSOM: Everything's alright sir, they're on their way to HQ just as you ordered! SMYTHE: I gave no such order! RANSOM: Well... They've just left with Lieutenant Carstairs sir. SMYTHE: Ransom you're a fool! Where's Lady Jennifer? RANSOM: I don't know sir. She gave me a message to meet you at command post seventeen. (He moves to the window.) RANSOM: The ambulance sir, it's gone! SMYTHE: Now we know what to look for! Well issue a general order at once! RANSOM: Yes sir. [SCENE_BREAK] 29, EXT: ROAD (The old ambulance judders along the rough dirt track.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30, INT: DRAWING ROOM (Ransom is speaking into a telephone.) RANSOM: Good, thank you. (He replaces the receiver.) RANSOM: Ambulance spotted sir! SMYTHE: Where? RANSOM: Sector four, heading east, travelling very fast! I'll send out a motorcycle patrol. SMYTHE: No need for that. RANSOM: Well sector four could cut them off. SMYTHE: Mmm. Concentration of artillery there. Yes, that should reach 'em. RANSOM: Well, use artillery on an ambulance sir? SMYTHE: That ambulance is in enemy hands Ransom! RANSOM: But there are two women on board! (Smythe places his spectacles upon his nose.) SMYTHE: I want a creeping barrage laid along that road. Do you understand? Do you understand?! RANSOM: Yes, I understand. SMYTHE: Good. (He removes his spectacles.) SMYTHE: Well order the artillery to fire then. RANSOM: A very good idea sir! Creeping barrage! Stop 'em dead! SMYTHE: That's just how we want them. Dead. (The General scowls sadistically.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31, EXT: ROAD (The ambulance begins to get shelled, the artillery gradually getting closer. The ambulance stops and Carstairs runs around into the back.) CARSTAIRS: Back! (They all flatten themselves down and study the map.) CARSTAIRS: Artillery barrage, and we're still eleven miles from the German lines! DOCTOR: Well perhaps it's not, perhaps it's not German artillery! CARSTAIRS: Well our chaps wouldn't fire at us! DOCTOR: No, but General Smythe might! JAMIE: Whoever it is it ain't getting better! CARSTAIRS: Let's get out of here! Bring the rest of the maps. DOCTOR: Righto! Stay here, keep under cover. (The Doctor and Carstairs exit and walk around to the front.) DOCTOR: Oh a-ah. CARSTAIRS: Right! (The ambulance drives along the road and as it is driving slowly fades away into thin air.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32, EXT: BARRIER (The ambulance appears to have driven into a void, all around is brilliant featureless white mist, but oddest of all it seems to be having a curious effect on Carstairs and Lady Jennifer. They start to become woozy and unable to focus or move properly.) BUCKINGHAM: Aaargh! DOCTOR: What is it? CARSTAIRS: Fog...can't see... BUCKINGHAM: The mist...th-the gas! DOCTOR: Gas? BUCKINGHAM: I can't go on, there's something stopping me! DOCTOR: It's not gas, go on. BUCKINGHAM: I can't! DOCTOR: Well move over let me, come on. (Lady Jennifer moves aside and the Doctor drives.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33, EXT: HILLSIDE ROAD (The ambulance fades into existence on a neat winding road which is quite different to the muddy dirt track they were on before, then stops. The air is still, fresh and warm - nothing like the damp litter-strewn mudhole smelling of rot and burning cordite they have come from.) JAMIE: That's more like it! ZOE: That mist Doctor, what was it? DOCTOR: I don't know Zoe, some sort of force field. ZOE: Where are we? No sign of the war here! JAMIE: Yes, and the guns have stopped too. DOCTOR: Yes it's odd Jamie. (He wanders to the side of the road and up the hill, Jamie and Zoe follow. Carstairs and Lady Jennifer disembark from the ambulance.) CARSTAIRS: Feeling better? BUCKINGHAM: Ah, yes. Thank you. (The Doctor and his companions have reached the brow of the hill. Jamie stretches and takes a deep breath.) JAMIE: Oh-ah, that's better! (Zoe looks over into the distance.) ZOE: What's that? DOCTOR: Mm? (A large group of men rushes towards them from the distance, yelling loudly. They are clad in metal and leather tunics and have shiny metal helmets, all have long shields and swords drawn. To the front, a wooden chariot pulled by two galloping horses carries a rider, and the soldier at the lead bears a large gold banner bearing the emblem of an eagle and a laurel wreath with the word SPQR emblazoned on it.) ZOE: Oh come on! (They scramble back down the hill towards the ambulance as fast as their legs will carry them.) DOCTOR: Start the engine! ZOE: Quick! JAMIE: Look! (They all climb into the back of the ambulance as Carstairs rushes to the engine and desperately cranks the handle. The Roman garrison rushes down the hill towards the defenceless, immobile ambulance...)	Plan: A: Ransom; Q: What is the name of the military prison that the Doctor and Zoe escape from? A: the military prison; Q: Where is Jamie? Summary: The Doctor and Zoe manage to escape from Ransom and attempt to rescue Jamie from the military prison.
[Gilbert's House] (There is a lot of noise, coming from the neighborhood and the city. Elena wakes up. She sits down, panicked, looking around her. Stefan is sitting on the bed) Elena: Stefan? Stefan: Hey. I'm right here. You've been in and out for hours Elena: Wh... what happened? Stefan: You were in an accident Elena: Oh my god. Matt, is he... Damon: Alive? Ask Stefan, the hero Stefan: He's fine Elena: Thank you. I thought that I... How did you... Damon: Save you? He didn't (She looks at him) Stefan: When Jeremy brought you to the hospital before all of this happened, your injuries were worse than anyone knew. Meredith Fell made a choice. She used Damon's blood to heal you Damon: And when Rebecca ran Matt's truck off the road, you had vampire blood in your system, Elena Elena: Oh my god. Does... does that mean that I... Am I dead? (None of them answer) Elena: No. No, no, no! That... that wasn't supposed to happen! Stefan: Maybe it doesn't have to. I talked to Bonnie. She said she's stronger than ever. There might be something she can do to help you Damon: No, the only thing that's going to help is for you to feed and complete the transition Stefan: We have all day before she has to feed, Damon. That's a day to exhaust every possible way out of this Damon: There is no way out of it! We all know the drill... You feed or you die. There is no door number three Elena: I was ready to die. I was supposed to die, I don't... I don't want... I can't be a vampire! (She's crying) Elena: If there's something that Bonnie can do, we have to try it Stefan: We will. We'll try everything Damon: Your choice, Elena. As always (He gets up and leaves) (He's searching for alcohol in one of the cupboard. He finds a bottle and pours himself a glass. Stefan enters) Damon: Way to get her hopes up for something that's never happened in the history of vampirism Stefan: Know what? You weren't there the day Elena looked me in the eye and told me she absolutely never wanted this Damon: Then you shouldn't have let her die Stefan: I never meant for her to die. She asked me to help Matt first and I did Damon: And now the world has one more quarterback. Bravo, brother Stefan: I made a choice that I will regret for the rest of my life. Now let me try to fix it (He leaves. Damon drinks) (Elena is in her bedroom. She's looking at herself in the mirror and holding her head. She closes her eyes and touches her teeth. There's a constant buzzing. She turns herself and sees Jeremy) Elena: Jer! (She goes toward him and they embrace each other) Jeremy: Are you OK? I watched Vickie go through this. She was a mess. Her emotions were all over the place. All of these old memories came flooding back Elena: I'm fine. I'm not Vickie Jeremy: No, you're not. You're you. You act like everything's OK so no one worries about you, but you need help Elena: I said I'm fine okay? (She says it in an aggressive tone) Elena: I... I'm sorry, I... Have you talked to Bonnie? Jeremy: Yeah. She said when I was shot; she made some plea to the witch spirits to bring me back. And they listened Elena: Yeah, but the consequences were horrible Jeremy: And what could be more horrible than you turning into a vampire? I need my sister. Not another one of them Elena: We're going to find a way out of this. Everything's going to be OK Jeremy: I hope so (He looks at her and leaves. She keeps hearing the buzzing from the light bulb. She has one hand on her head. She looks at it and finally goes toward it and breaks it with her hand) [Old Lockwood Cellar] (Bonnie is looking at Klaus' body, partially burned. Tyler/Klaus enters) Tyler/Klaus: It's beautiful, isn't it? (He's smiling) Bonnie: What is that doing here, Klaus? The deal we made with Tyler was that you'd leave his body and jump into someone else's the first chance you got Tyler/Klaus: Yes. When I assumed I'd be a pile of Ash. But apparently fate and oxygen intervened, and there I am. Put me back Bonnie: I can't right now Tyler/Klaus: Your history teacher outed Tyler and Caroline to the council. They're on the war path and this body's vulnerable Bonnie: I have to help Elena before she has to feed Tyler/Klaus: Elena's dead and no longer my concern Bonnie: You're forgetting who just saved your life (He strangles her) Tyler/Klaus: You're forgetting I can rip your tongue out! Now put... me... back Bonnie: If I can keep Elena human, you'll still have an endless blood supply to make your hybrids. Isn't that what you really want? (He releases her. She looks at him and leaves but he intercepts her with his vampire speed) Tyler/Klaus: Same rules apply. No one knows. No one. Do you understand me, Bonnie? [Mystic Falls Hospital] (Meredith is in the hallway, looking at a file when Pastor Young and some men arrive) Meredith: Pastor Young. To what do we owe the honor? And don't tell me it's your blood pressure again Pastor Young: Honestly, Dr. Fell, I wish it were (He talks to the men) Pastor Young: Blood banks in the basement. One of you sweep the rooms (They leave, following orders. She's surprised) Meredith: What are you doing? Pastor Young: Adding a few security measures. The blood in this place has a habit of flying off the shelves Meredith: Who gave you that authority? Pastor Young: The council. They've entrusted me to secure the town. And unlike some of our founding families, I don't have conflicting interests Meredith: What is that supposed to mean? Pastor Young: Alaric Saltzman told us everything, Meredith. Probably time to start looking for a new job (He leaves) (Matt is getting dressed in his room. Caroline is with him) Matt: Elena doesn't want to be a vampire Caroline: She doesn't want to be dead, and now she's not. This isn't your fault, Matt Matt: This is all my fault. I was driving. I was saved. She's a vampire because of me! Caroline: Shh! Cool it on the "v" word. I'm a fugitive, remember? I'm supposed to be halfway to Florida by now Matt: If the council's after you, then why are you here? Caroline: Because I don't know where to go. Tyler's dead, and everything's different now. And I... (She cries and he embraces her. She hears someone, with a radio, coming. She suddenly looks at the door and disappears. One of the pastor's men enters) Matt: Can I help you? Man: Sorry (He looks around the room and talks in his radio) Man: All good here (He leaves) [Lockwood's mansion] (Carol is being handcuffed by a deputy. Pastor Young is looking at her) Carol: What's going on? Pastor Young: We just need to ask you a few questions about your son Carol: You can't arrest me. I'm the mayor of this town Pastor Young: Not anymore, you're not (The deputies leave with her) [Sheriff department] (Liz arrive but Pastor Young and his men intercept her) Pastor Young: Sorry, Liz. You're not going to work today Liz: What are you talking about? What's going on? Pastor Young: They're taking your badge. You're not fit to protect us anymore Liz: You have no idea what you're up against Pastor Young: On the contrary, Liz. I've already taken your deputies. We've got the entire town's supply of vervain, including the stash found in the Salvatore house. We're making our move [Forbes House] (Caroline is about to leave, with her bags. Her phone rings, she answers) Caroline: Mom! Hey Liz: Caroline, where are you? And tell me it's far away Caroline: Where am I? Good question. Uh, just a whole lot of boring highways. Why? Is everything OK? (She goes out and is about to close the door when some men catch her. One of them injects vervain in her neck. Her phone falls on the floor) Liz: Caroline, what's going on? (Caroline is losing consciousness) [Gilbert's House] (Elena is eating a sandwich. Stefan looks at her) Stefan: It's disgusting Elena: No, it's, um... Stefan: It's disgusting Elena: Yeah, I'm going to puke (She puts the sandwich on the plate and splits out what she has in her mouth in a napkin) Elena: I never thought I'd be saying this, but I can't stop thinking about blood Stefan: I should have saved you first. You shouldn't be going through this right now Elena: No, if you had saved me, then Matt would be dead. What do you think I'd be going through then? Stefan, listen to me. You did the right thing. You did what you always do... You respected my choice Stefan: And what am I supposed to do if Bonnie can't figure out a way to help you, huh? Because then you'll have another choice to make... Either let yourself die, or be a vampire Elena: Well, then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Oh, my God. Did... Did I just say, "cross that bridge"? (She laughs) Stefan: You're laughing. I'm pretty sure you don't actually think that's funny Elena I... (She's still laughing) Elena: I can't stop, though Stefan: Your emotions are a bit heightened today. A lot heightened (She starts to cry) Stefan: Hey (He embraces her) Stefan: Shh. It's OK. It's OK Elena: I'm sorry, I... (He looks at her) Stefan: Listen to me. No matter what happens, I'm here for you. I can help you Elena: Yeah, I... I... (She's disturbed by the light) Stefan: Why don't you go back upstairs where it's dark. I'll clean up (She leaves) (Elena is upstairs and enters her room. She sees Damon) Elena: I thought you left Damon: Cute pjs (She surprised and looks at what she's wearing and she suddenly sees herself. She's remembering Damon's declaration) Elena: I'm tired Damon Damon: I brought you this (He shown her the necklace) Elena: I thought that was gone. Thank you (She tries to catch it but he doesn't give it to her. Elena's looking at the scene and closes her eyes. Whe she opens them, the memory disappears. She looks around the room and looks at the door but hears Damon's voice. She turns her head and the scene restarts from where it ended) Elena: Please give it back Damon: I just have to say something Elena: Why do you have to say it with my necklace? Damon: Well, because what I'm about to say is... probably the most selfish thing I have ever said in my life Elena: Damon, don't go there Damon: No, I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you, Elena and it's because I love you that... I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this? I don't deserve you but my brother does (He kisses her on the forehead. Elena is still looking at the scene and seems touched) Damon: God, I wish you don't have to forget this but you do (He compels her and sheds a tear. She closes her head and she's alone in her bedroom. She looks around her, surprised and touches her neck. She seems thoughtful) [Klaus' mansion] (Rebekah is looking at Klaus' drawings. Suddenly she throws all of them and other things on the floor, angrily. Damon arrives) Rebekah: You should know better than to sneak up on a lady Damon: Good advice. Have you seen one? (She turns herself) Rebekah: Tragic about Elena. Not to make the gray cloud grayer, but does Matt even have automobile insurance? (She turns her back on him and he rushes over her with a stake. She stops him and catches his arm. She pushes him against some boxes. She looks at the stake and twists his wrist so he releases the stake. It falls on the floor. Suddenly Rebekah is shot through the window. Damon disappears. Rebekah faces the window and she's staked by an arrow. She dies and collapses [Gilbert's House] (Elena is in her bedroom, looking at a photo of herself with her parents. Suddenly, she hears noise downstairs. She goes down the stairs) Elena: Stefan? (She stops when she sees Stefan surrounded by deputies, their guns aimed at him) Stefan: Elena, don't move (She looks at them. Pastor Young is looking at her) [Old Lockwood Cellar] (Tyler/Klaus is sitting on the coffin. He seems bored. His phone rings. He looks at it) Tyler/Klaus: Ah, you incessant woman (He takes a deep breath and answers) Tyler/Klaus: Hey, mom. What's up? Carol: Tyler, thank God. Are you OK? Tyler/Klaus: Fine. Why? What's going on? Carol: Pastor Young had me arrested this morning. The council grilled me on your whereabouts. Tyler, don't tell me where you are. The less I know, the better Tyler: Mom, I'm OK. Relax Carol: You didn't answer your phone, honey. I was so scared that you were with Caroline Tyler: Why? What happened to Caroline? Carol: The council took her Tyler: What do you mean they took her? [Middle of the road] (A truck is escorted by two police cars. Rebekah wakes up inside of the truck. Caroline is next to her, completely awake. Rebekah looks at her restraint) Caroline: Vervain ropes. Looks like Alaric outed us all to the council Rebekah: The council... What exactly do they think they can do to me? (Suddenly, the truck is hit by something. The truck rolls over various times and finally stops. They're on their backs because the truck is on the side) Rebekah: What the hell happened? (One os the sheriff's car is flipped over on the top. Another car is damaged on the front and the trunk is on the side and damaged. The other sheriff's car is fleeing. Tyler/Klaus opens the back door of the truck. Caroline and Rebekah look at him. He enters and goes to Caroline. She's surprised) Caroline: Tyler? Tyler/Klaus: I'm harder to kill than you think (He breaks the seat belt. Rebekah looks at him and doesn't understand. The sheriff's car arrives. Caroline can't believe it) Caroline: You're alive?! (He breaks the ropes) Caroline: Tyler, you're alive! (She's laughing) Tyler/Klaus: No time. Come on. We got to go (He helps her get on her feet) Rebekah: Wait, what about me? Tyler/Klaus: Keep 'em busy, little sister (He leaves. She can't believe it) Rebekah: That's impossible! (She fights against the restraints but gives up) [Gilbert's House] (Damon is cleaning the living room. Liz enters) Damon: They're gone. Whoever nailed Rebekah took them, too. Please tell me you have something. Anything (Meredith rejoins them) Liz: I can't. The council locked Carol and me out of our offices. Files, computers, everything Damon: So the mayor and the sheriff never contemplated a back-up plan, Liz? (He gets closer to her) Meredith: Damon, relax (She looks at Liz) Meredith: When Caroline called to say she got away, did she know where they were planning to take her? Liz: No, just that she was in some van in the middle of nowhere and she managed to escape Damon: Perfect. We've narrowed it down to nowhere (Matt enters) Matt: Hey. Is Elena here? (Damon turns himself and rushes toward him. He catches him and pushes him against a wall, strangling him) Damon: In what world are you the one that gets to live?! (Matt can't breathe. Meredith tries to stop him. Liz is here) Meredith: Damon, stop! It wasn't his fault! Liz: Let him go, Damon. Now (Damon finally releases him) [House in the middle of nowhere] (Elena is with Pastor Young. She's uncomfortable) Pastor Young: Still want to be a writer? I remember how you'd read your short stories to my daughter when you'd baby-sit. She still loves writing because of you Elena: Why did you bring me here? Pastor Young: My deputies can watch out for us here. No vampires have been invited in (The tic-tac from the clock is intensified. She looks at it and touches her head. She doesn't really listen to him) Pastor Young: Look, Elena, I know it sounds crazy, but years ago it was your parents who were advocating having an emergency plan for this. I never thought we'd actually have to use it (She's disturbed by the light and tries to get away from it) Pastor Young: Elena? Are you okay? Elena: Where's Stefan? Pastor Young: Where he can't hurt you Elena: He would never hurt me. You have no idea what you're talking about Pastor Young: Well, I know that where you go, Salvatore vampires seem to follow. Are you hungry? (He opens the fridge) Elena: No (He takes something from the fridge and takes a knife) Pastor Young: So we'll hold Stefan until Damon comes searching for you two. And we'll use Rebekah to lure her siblings back into town. You'll give us the white oak stake, and then... We will exterminate the entire vampire race for good (He puts a plate with food in front of her. She looks at it and her breathing accelerates) Pastor Young: Something wrong? (She looks at him. She's not fine) Pastor Young: Elena, are you OK? Elena: Yeah (She looks at his neck and hears his heart beating. Everything around her is intensified) Elena: I've got to get out of here (She gets up and goes outside. She's running. He gets out and looks at her) Pastor Young: Get her! (Her vision is altered and she's disturbed by the light. She stops and turns her head. A deputy is here. He hits her in the face with his elbow) [The woods] (Caroline and Tyler/Klaus are kissing) Caroline: I never thought I'd see you again! I don't get it. How are you alive? Tyler/Klaus: This is going to sound incredible, but... (She kisses him and he drives her against another tree with his speed and they're still kissing. She removes his jacket and his shirt and they kiss again.) Tyler/Klaus: Easy, love. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong equipment Caroline: You're miraculously alive. We're fugitives on the run. All signs point to hot hybrid vampire sx (She removes her jacket and kisses him. She pushes him against a tree and removes her top. She kisses him and suddenly realizes something and stops) Caroline: Did you just call me "love"? Tyler/Klaus: I don't know, love. Did I? Caroline: What the hell did you do to Tyler? Tyler/Klaus: That's what I enjoy about you. So much more than a pretty face Caroline: Oh, my God. You're Klaus! You're disgusting! Tyler/Klaus: And you're a glorious kisser. (She punches him) Tyler/Klaus: Listen... I didn't have to risk exposure to come save you Caroline: Oh, you do one semi-decent thing and now you're my hero? Ugh! I need to go sanitize my mouth (She puts her top back) Tyler/Klaus: Your mouth was all over me. I was an innocent victim Caroline: Put Tyler back Tyler/Klaus: Gladly. Then maybe I'll take you up on your offer of hot hybrid sx (He smiles and leaves) [Abandoned Witch House] (Bonnie is sitting on the floor. Candles are lit. She has a grimoire open on her lap. She's casting a spell. Jeremy is standing, looking at her. She stops and opens her eyes) Bonnie: The spirits aren't listening Jeremy: Well, is that it? Is that all we can do? Bonnie: There's something else I could try Jeremy: What? Do it (She gets up) Bonnie: If the witches won't help me save Elena, then maybe I could go to the other side and bring her back myself Jeremy: The other side? The other side's for dead people Bonnie: She's still in transition. Not fully dead, not fully alive. What if her spirit still exists on both sides? Jeremy: Even if it does, how can you get there? You're not dead (She ducks her head and he understands. He gets closer to her) Jeremy: No. No, Bonnie! Bonnie: I was able to stop your heart to stop Klaus'. I'll do the same thing to myself. Witches have free reign on the other side. I will find Elena and I will bring her back with me Jeremy: Assuming you wake up! Bonnie: I'm stronger now. I found a new source of power Jeremy: A new source of power?! What kind of powers can let you kill yourself and bring someone back with you from the dead? Bonnie: Do you want Elena back or not? [Gilbert's House] (Damon, Meredith, Matt and Liz are in the living room) Liz: With your vervain and Alaric's weapons, they could be anywhere Damon: Come on, guys, think. It takes a lot to hold a vampire. Reinforced steel, iron doors Matt: The pastor has a cattle ranch (They look at him) Matt: Those pens could easily be modified Meredith: It's remote, it's secluded (She looks at Damon) Damon: Well, guess what. Looks like you get a chance to prove how sorry you really are. Let's go (He looks at him and they leave) [SCENE_BREAK] [A barn] (Elena wakes up, holding her head. She's lying on the ground. She looks at the ceiling and sees that vervain is being infiltrated. Rebekah is in the cell in front of her. She's looking at her. Elena sits up, still holding her head) Rebekah: I thought I killed you (She looks around her) Elena: Where am I? Rebekah: They thought you were a vampire so they stuck you in here with us Elena: Where's Stefan? Stefan: Elena, I'm right here (He's in the cell next to her but she can't see him) Stefan: Are you okay? Elena: Stefan... (She tries to get up but she's too weak) Elena: I need to feed Rebekah: Ah. I see what's going on here. You died with vampire blood in your system and you didn't feed and now you're locked up in here without a drop of human blood in sight. That is a problem (Elena is looking at her) Stefan: Just ignore her Rebekah: Has anyone done the math, or shall I? I'd say you've got less than three hours to feed before I get to watch you die all over again (Elena tries to break the gate. Rebekah smiles) Rebekah: My day just got a whole lot better [Abandoned Witch House] (Bonnie and Jeremy are sitting. She's holding his hands and casting a spell. There are whispers around them. Jeremy opens his eyes and looks at her. Her nose is bleeding. He's concerned) Jeremy: Oh my god (She's struggling to continue) Jeremy: Bonnie! Bonnie. Open your eyes. Bonnie, I can't let you do this (She doesn't listen to him) Jeremy: You're dying! (She raises her voice while casting the spell. Black veins appear on her arms and on her face) Jeremy: What the hell is that?! (She collapses) Jeremy: Bonnie, no! (He goes next to her but she's unconscious) Jeremy: Bonnie. Bonnie, wake up! Bonnie wake up! [A barn] (Bonnie appears in Elena's cell. She turns herself and sees Elena sitting on the ground, her eyes closed. She's pale and seems ill. Bonnie gets closer) Bonnie: Elena... (She bends next to her and touches her hand) Bonnie: Come back. Come back Elena (Elena starts to open her eyes. Bonnie helps her getting up but Elena can't see her. She gets up, wondering what's happening) Elena: Stefan? Stefan, something's happening (Stefan is concerned) Bonnie: You're going home (Suddenly Sheila appears) Sheila: No! (Elena feels that she lost the connection and flops down on the floor, weak) Bonnie: Grams? What are you doing? Sheila: You can't be in here. You stay away from this sort of darkness Bonnie: Elena needs me Sheila: she is not your problem to solve. Now go. Before they try to keep you here Bonnie: Grams, please! Sheila: This magic is dark, Bonnie. It is not nature's plan. Touch it again, and the spirits will unleash their anger in ways that will make you suffer. Stay away. Go! (Bonnie disappears) [Abandoned Witch house] (Jeremy is still trying to wake up Bonnie) Jeremy: Bonnie, wake up! Wake up! Come on. Bonnie, open your eyes (She opens her eyes. He's relieved) Jeremy: Ha! You're awake! (He takes her in his arms) Jeremy: You're alive Bonnie: I couldn't do it. It didn't work [A barn] (Elena is still on the ground, weak) Elena: Stefan... Stefan: What happened? Elena: I'm out of time. I need blood. I'm dying (She's struggling to breathe. Stefan starts to gets up and shouts) Stefan: Hey! Anyone! Hey! Rebekah: Will you shut up? Stefan: You think we're afraid of you? (A deputy finally enters and stops in front of him) Deputy: You want more vervain? Keep it down Stefan: Listen to me. Elena's going to die if you don't let her out of here (The deputy looks at her) Deputy: Sorry. Not my problem Stefan: She's innocent. Let her out (He leaves. Stefan uses his speed to in his cell to follow him and shouts. The deputy shoots him. Stefan falls on the ground) Elena: Stop! (Stefan gets up) Stefan: I said let her out! (The deputy shoots him again and leaves. He's suffering. Rebekah looks at him) [Abandoned Witch House] (Bonnie and Jeremy are in front of the coffin. Tyler/Klaus and Caroline are here) Jeremy: She said she's not strong enough! Tyler/Klaus: You were strong enough to put me in here. Surely you're strong enough to get me out Bonnie: I upset the spirits trying to save Elena. I can't use that kind of magic again. It's too dangerous Tyler/Klaus: Bonnie, do the bloody spell! Caroline: She said she can't, OK? (Tyler/Klaus looks at her) Caroline: We'll just wait a few days until you're strong enough to do it with traditional magic. Right, Bonnie? (Tyler/Klaus turns himself to look at Bonnie. She doesn't answer. He rips of his shirt, takes a deep breath and raises his hand. Claws come out. He sticks them in Tyler's chest. He screams) Caroline: What are you doing? Tyler/Klaus: Ripping Tyler's heart out. I'll jump into someone else (He looks at Jeremy) Tyler/Klaus: Maybe you (He sinks the claws deeper) Bonnie: Oh my god Caroline: Oh, my God, stop, stop! Jeremy: He's bluffing. He needs a witch to do that Tyler/Klaus: What makes you think I don't have one? Or ten? Pick, Bonnie! You or Tyler! (He continues) Caroline: Stop! Please! You're killing him! Bonnie: Fine, I'll do it! Just stop (He stops and looks at bonnie) Tyler/Klaus: Good. Let's begin [A barn] (Stefan drags himself against the wooden wall of his cell. He removes the wooden bullet from his leg) Stefan: Elena. Are you still with me? (She's sitting against the wall of her own cell. She's weaker and paler) Elena: Yeah. Yeah, I'm here. I'm okay Stefan: No, you're not. I can hear your breathing (Rebekah is watching them. She can see both of them from her cell) Stefan: Damon was right. You should have fed this morning. I'm so sorry Elena: Don't be. You had hope. That's all I ever wanted you to have. And you had it Stefan: I love you so much Elena: Do you know why I was even on that bridge? I was coming back for you, Stefan. I had to choose, and... I picked you. Because I love you (He's crying and Rebekah is still watching them) Elena: No matter what happens... It's the best choice I ever made. God... it sucks I can't see you right now Stefan: I'm smiling (But he's crying) Elena: Me too (Rebekah seems touched. Elena can't hardly breathe and closes her eyes) [Pastor Young's House] (Damon parks in front of the house. He goes out of the car. So does Matt) Matt: So, what, we just storm the place with zero weapons? Damon: No, we don't need weapons. Just bait (He jumps on him and drinks his blood. Matt is on the ground, holding his neck and groaning. Damon looks at the house) Damon: Yoo-hoo! Anybody home? Big bad vampire out here (His fangs are out and he has blood on his mouth. Pastor Young opens the door but stays inside) Pastor Young: Let him go, the boy's innocent Damon: Well, that's the point. Give me Stefan and Elena, he's all yours (He doesn't answer. Damon grabs Matt) Damon: Come on, pastor. You know I'll kill him. I want to kill him (He smiles) Pastor Young: Go way! You are not invited in! And I'm not coming out (Damon is shot) [Abandoned Witch House] (Tyler/Klaus is on his knees. Bonnie has her hands on each side of his head. Her eyes are closed and she's casting a spell. Caroline and Jeremy look at them) Jeremy: This is black magic. She shouldn't be doing this (Tyler exhales and opens his eyes. He looks at Caroline) Caroline: Tyler? (He smiles) Tyler: Caroline (She smiles) Tyler: Hey (He collapses. Bonnie is still casting a spell) Jeremy: Bonnie. What are you doing? Sheila: I warned you child (Bonnie opens her eyes. Sheila is facing her) Sheila: I warned you to stay away (Only Bonnie can see her. Caroline is next to Tyler and Jeremy is looking at Bonnie) Jeremy: Bonnie, it works. Stop (Caroline turns herself and looks at her. Sheila is holding Bonnie's hands) Bonnie: What's happening? Let me go! Sheila: I can't Bonnie: Let me go! Caroline: Bonnie, what's happening? (Black veins appear on Sheila's forearms) Bonnie: I can't let her go! Jeremy: Bonnie, stop the spell! Sheila: You made your choice. Now they're taking it out on me (The veins appear on her face too. She screams) Bonnie: I'm sorry, grams! They can't do this to you! Please! Don't do this to her! Caroline: Bonnie, stop! (Sheila is still screaming. Bonnie screams too) Bonnie: No! No! No! (She falls on her knees. Sheila's gone. She cries) Bonnie: Oh my god! What have I done?! What did I do?! (Jeremy is next to her) Jeremy: You're OK, you're OK Bonnie: What did I do? What did I do? [A barn] (2 deputies enter. Rebekah looks at them. Stefan and her look at each other and she nods. The two deputies are together) Deputy 1: I got this. Bring the other one in (The second deputy leaves) Rebekah: Excuse me? Sir (She coughs. He takes his gun and comes to her cell) Deputy: I thought I told you to shut up Rebekah: Here's the thing... My family, we... We have money. Castles, apartments, jewelry. Just name your price and let me out (He gets closer) Deputy: I'd much rather watch you die (She rushes toward him, her fang out. He's surprised and cringes towards Stefan's cell, his gun aimed at Rebekah. Stefan catches his from behind, by the throat and bangs his head against the cell various times until he dies and thrown the body next to Elena's cell so the blood pours next to her. She slowly opens her eyes) Stefan: Elena, Elena (She looks at the blood and tries to reach it with her hand but it's too far. She spreads her hand as far as she can, putting her head through the bars. The blood is spreading. After a lot of struggle, she finally reaches it. Her fingers have touched it. She licks her fingers and sheds a tear) [Pastor Young House] (Damon is lying on the ground. Matt is next to him. 2 deputies arrive, aiming their weapon at Damon. One of them shakes him with his feet. He's unconscious. He gets up with his speed and takes their guns. He breaks one of the deputies neck and rushes to the other. He takes his gun and stabs him with it. Matt coughs. Damon turns himself to look at him. He kicks him and stands above him) Matt: Go ahead and kill me. You can't possibly hate me more than I hate myself Damon: Oh, yes, I can. It should have been you (He strangles him with his foot but Elena rushes toward Damon and throws him on the ground, her fangs out) Elena: Leave him alone! [A barn] (Matt drags himself to the barn and collapses. Stefan arrives and makes him drink his blood. Matt sits down) Matt: Just stop! Stop saving me Stefan: What the hell is your problem? Matt: What do you want me to say, thank you? Because honestly, I wish you'd just let me drown Stefan: What, you think you were my first choice? Matt: Elena's a vampire because of me. I have to live with that every day for the rest of my life Stefan: No, no, you don't have to live with that, you get to live with that. Because Elena put your life before her own. So every morning when you get out of bed, you sure as hell better earn it (He looks at him and leaves) [Pastor Young House] Elena: You were going to kill him Damon: Yep. The guy just won't die Elena: It was my choice to save him. Why aren't you seeing that? Damon: It's a little hard to keep track of all your choices lately, Elena (He's about to go into his car) Elena: I remember everything (He stops) Elena: One of the highlights of my transition... Remembering everything that you compelled me to forget (He comes back next to her) Elena: Like how you and I met first. We were strangers. And you told me you wanted me to get everything I wanted from life. Damon, why didn't you tell me? Damon: Would it have made a difference? (She doesn't answer) Damon: I didn't think so Elena: You asked me to make a choice, Damon. So I did. If you're going to be mad, then take it out on me, not on Stefan or Matt or anyone else. Me Damon: Are we done here? Elena: If it had been you at the bridge last night and not Stefan, and I begged you to save Matt... Damon: I would have saved you. In a heartbeat, no question Elena: That's what I thought. Then Matt would be dead because you couldn't let go. Matt would be dead! Damon: But you wouldn't be. And you would have gotten to grow up. And had the life that you wanted; the life that you deserve. And I know that I didn't used to get that, but I do now. And I wanted that for you, Elena. And I would have gladly have given it to you and let Matt die because I am that selfish. But you knew that already. The first night we met's not all you remember. [Klaus' Mansion] (Klaus is back in his body. He's putting blood bags, presumably Elena's, in a box filled with ice-cubes. Rebekah enters) Rebekah: How dare you save Caroline over me! Klaus: "Hello, brother, I thought you were dead. So pleased you're not." Rebekah: You left me Klaus: I only had time to save one of you and you can't be killed. Rest assured, I had a worse day than you. I think it's time for us to move on, find some more werewolves Rebekah: So you can create your hybrid family? You don't know anything about family! Klaus: Well, I know how easily they can be silenced with a dagger (She takes one of the blood bag and throws it against the wall. The bag explodes) Klaus: No! (She takes the two other bags) Klaus: Drop them (She has tears in her eyes) Rebekah: I mourned you! My heart broke thinking I'd never see you again! Klaus: Put the blood down, Rebekah, there's a good girl Rebekah: It's always been me! Not Finn. Not Elijah, not Kol, me. I loved you through everything and you don't even care Klaus: Drop it! (She's crying) Rebekah: You want your family? Here's your family (She destroys the bags. He rushes over her and strangles her) Klaus: You know something, Rebekah, you were right. I don't care. From this moment on, you're not my family, you're not my sister. You are nothing (He breaks her neck and leaves) [Salvatore's House] (Elena and Stefan are on the roof) Elena: The whole council knows who we are now. Everything's about to change Stefan: Yeah, I'm sure Damon has a revenge plan cooked up. We'll figure out a way to deal with it Elena: Stefan, you don't have to convince me that everything's going to be OK Stefan: I know. Wish I could, though. Wish I could just tell you that you'll never feel pain. That you'll never crave blood. But you will. It will be the worst thing that you've ever lived through Elena: But I'll get to live. I'll be a sister and a friend, and... I'll be with you. If I want (She smiles and they kiss) Elena: I'm going to get through this. The same way we've been through everything, one day at a time. We should get inside before sunrise Stefan: Bonnie made this for you yesterday (It's a lapis lazuli ring) Stefan: Just in case Elena: Daylight ring? (He puts it on her finger) Stefan: One day at a time, right? (They smile. She nods and they kiss. She puts her head on his shoulder and they look at the sun rising) [Pastor Young House] (Pastor Young opens the gas from the cooker. The whole council is here) Pastor Young: Folks, by now you know that the vampires have escaped. And it won't be long before they retaliate against us. But fear not. For I have been chosen to lead us in a movement (All the vervain is on the table. He locks the door) Man: What are you talking about? Pastor Young: Hear me, loved ones. Soon we'll be free to pass through the gates... And we'll all reunite in eternity Man: Seriously, pastor, what's going on here? Pastor Young: Friends... We are the beginning (He lights a lighter. Everyone screams. The kitchen explodes)	Plan: A: Elena; Q: Who is in transition to becoming a vampire? A: Damon; Q: Who tries to kill Matt? A: human blood; Q: What does Damon want Elena to feed on? A: the vampires; Q: Who is unaware that Pastor Young has taken over the Founders Council? A: Pastor Young; Q: Who takes over the Founders Council? A: Sheriff Forbes; Q: Who did Pastor Young excommunicate? A: Caroline's house; Q: Where did Pastor Young and his team kidnap Elena? A: Klaus; Q: Who is Tyler possessed by? A: Tyler's body; Q: What is Klaus still possessing? A: Pastor Young's farm; Q: Where is Rebekah taken to? A: "Tyler; Q: What did Caroline kiss when she thought Tyler was dead? A: Later Klaus; Q: Who forces Bonnie to tap into dark magic to make the body switch? A: his body; Q: What does Klaus find that wasn't completely destroyed? A: the spirits; Q: Who punishes the ghost of Grams in front of Bonnie? A: Grams; Q: Who is the ghost of in season four? A: Rebekah's help; Q: Who helped Stefan kill a guard? A: one; Q: How many guards does Stefan kill to save Elena? A: time; Q: What is Elena barely able to reach the blood in? A: Matt; Q: Who did Damon try to kill? A: the sunken car; Q: Where did Elena tell Stefan to save Matt from? A: a hurt Rebekah; Q: Who confronts Klaus in his own body? A: more hybrids; Q: What does Rebekah destroy the bags of Elena's blood, making it impossible for Klaus to make? A: the Salvatore's house; Q: Where does Stefan give Elena a daylight ring created by Bonnie? A: a gas leak; Q: What did Pastor Young start to blow up the secret council meeting? Summary: Picking up where the third season left off, Elena awakens and finds herself in transition to becoming a vampire. Damon insists she feeds on human blood as soon as possible while Stefan insists they try to find another way to keep Elena alive. Unbeknownst to the vampires, Pastor Young takes over the Founders Council, excommunicating Sheriff Forbes. He, along with a team of police officers, arrives at Caroline's house and kidnaps her and then Rebekah, but Klaus, still possessing Tyler's body, rescues Caroline, and purposely leaves Rebekah behind. It's revealed that she is taken to Pastor Young's farm. Thinking Tyler was dead, Caroline kisses "Tyler" but soon discovers Tyler is possessed by Klaus. Later Klaus, upon finding his body wasn't completely destroyed, forces Bonnie to tap into dark magic to make the body switch by threatening to kill Tyler. This results in the spirits punishing the ghost of Grams in front of Bonnie. By now, Stefan and Elena have been taken to Pastor Young's farm. Captured within the cages, Stefan realizes Elena is dying because she hasn't fed so, with Rebekah's help, he kills one of the guards and Elena is barely able to reach the blood in time. Meanwhile, Damon and Matt are outside of Pastor Young's farm to rescue them. After Matt lets them out, Damon tries to kill Matt (because Elena told Stefan to save Matt from the sunken car first, leading to Elena her new predicament). Elena stops him and they argue. During this argument she mentions to him that the memories he compelled her to forget are coming back. Meanwhile Klaus, now in his own body, is confronted by a hurt Rebekah, who destroys the bags of Elena's blood, making it impossible for Klaus to make more hybrids. Back at the Salvatore's house, Stefan gives Elena a daylight ring created by Bonnie. Pastor Young calls a meeting of the secret council on his farm and intentionally starts a gas leak in his kitchen and says "we are the beginning" before striking his lighter in the air and blowing everyone up.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON] What's that? Raylan: It's a driver's license. First name -- Waldo. Last name -- Truth. Arlo: Just put that bag back in the wall and forget about it. Raylan: I didn't say it was in the wall. That your son the marshal came to see you? Arlo: Why? Because I heard about a bag like that once before. Aah! Aah! Johnny: Well, what brings you to Harlan county? Boyd Crowder. Boyd: I need a little outside help, someone I can trust. This is a job interview now? Boyd: It's a job. Oh, my God. Is this real? It's from a church. Got some religious screed on the other side. Now, I see a lot of new faces here today. How about you? Yes, you. [ Gasps ] Goddamn. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] Yeah. We're getting good at that. Raylan: Getting? You ever hear the expression "A woman needs a reason. All a man needs is a place"? Raylan: I would argue that everyone needs a place. I might argue that you're missing the point. Raylan: No, I -- I think I understand. Oh, I'm afraid I have to stop you right there, cowboy -- not that I don't appreciate the thought. Raylan: Where are you going? Well, I know it's not as pressing as catching a fugitive, but a bar without booze is a sad place. Raylan: I'll do it. You want to handle the bar deliveries? Raylan: How hard could it be, huh? Hmm. I know you weren't trying to be insulting, so I'm just gonna let that one slide. Raylan: I want you to stay right there -- just like that. [ Sighs ] [ Horn blares ] Raylan: Whatever it is, go ahead and bring it on in. I'll sign for it. Oh, I ain't got a delivery. Raylan: In that case, sorry, buddy. We are closed. Oh, that's cool. I'm just gonna get myself a beer. Raylan: That's funny. I thought I just said -- You work here? Raylan: Actually, no. But you're taking deliveries. Raylan: Just trying to do a favor for a friend. That must be one hell of a friend. Raylan: She is. Mm-hmm. I get it. Is that the blonde or the brunette? Raylan: Is that why you're here? Man, maybe I'm just here for a beer. Raylan: Don't be embarrassed. That's why most guys come here. [ Thud ] Who are you, man? Raylan: I'm Raylan. I'm the guy telling you it's time to go. Oh, you think you could make me? Raylan: Really? I'm probably gonna walk out that door, but, if I don't, do you think you could make me? Raylan: I don't know, and I'd rather not find out. [ Chuckles ] Okay, man. It's cool. I'm just messing with you. Raylan: [ Chuckling ] Oh, okay. [ Thud ] Ava: Unh-unh. Why would I order two more cases of that sh1t? I got three I can't move as it is. Gone on. Get it out of here. Hey, tell Shelly to call me when she gets in. [ Sighs ] What happened to you last night? It's bad enough you're shooting the customers. Then you no-show? Sorry. I wasn't feeling well. Ava: You're not leaving me with a lot of options here, Ellen May. I lied, Ava. I was feeling fine. Actually, I -- I never felt better in my whole life. I wrote this down so I-- so I wouldn't forget. "My soul finds rest in God alone. My salvation comes from him." That's from palms, number 62. Ava: You mean psalms. Oh. Ava: You found God? That's what this is? I need to save my soul, Ava, before it's too late. Ava: I saved your soul. Remember? Not God or Jesus Christ-- me and my shotgun. I know. Uh, that's why I'm here. I was just gonna leave, but I wanted to come and return the favor. Ava: Excuse me? See, Billy says it's never too late to live a righteous life. Ava: "Billy says," huh? Uh-huh. He says that we control our destiny, and God will forgive us if we just -- if we just change our ways. Ava: You're a whore, Ellen May. And if that ain't enough, you and me -- we killed a man. We dumped his body down a mine shaft without ceremony. There ain't no salvation for people like us. Johnny, stay. We're just about done. Come here. You will be back at work tonight, or you won't ever set foot in this place again. We clear? Yeah? Yeah. Art: Pappy van winkle. Holy sh1t. What's the occasion? Well, from what I understand, you're about to have a birthday. Art: Actually, I turned 56 last Thursday. Well, there you go. Happy belated birthday. Art: You didn't know that, huh? Have a seat. I appreciate the gesture. It's nothing. How's Leslie? Art: Oh, she's good. Talking about buying an airstream now. Could be fun. Art: Oh, yeah. Lots of time together in a close space-- that'd be good for the marriage. How's life in bowling green? More arrests than any office our size, under budget every year, almost no incidences. Art: Of course you don't have any incidences. 'Cause all your fugitives are pussies. [ Chuckles ] A fugitive is a fugitive. Art: sh1t. I bet I got marshals that are more trouble than your fugitives. Come on, Art. Art: No, you came here about the job, right? You need to hear about this. I got a young kid here -- decorated sniper in Iraq war, army ranger, I don't know how many kills he had, always looking to kill somebody else, probably got PTSD, probably an alcoholic. Not a matter of if that powder keg is gonna blow but when. I got a lady marshal here -- brought in two of the top 15 fugitives to this office, but she's always trying to prove herself. I thought she was gonna be the one that would take this office over after I got ready to retire, but now she's left her husband. So, it's gonna be fun to monitor her emotional state over the next year -- see if she can keep it together. Then I got a local boy -- born in Harlan county, been investigated so many times internal affairs has got him on speed dial. Father's in prison for murdering two people, including a state trooper, and his daddy killed somebody else last night in prison, and I get to be the one to tell him about it. Unless you'd like to stick around and do it. I mean, the key to it's just to talk about it like you're talking about the weather. Don't get all emotional and sh1t. [ Sighs ] That's a $200 bottle of bourbon, Art. Art: I intend to enjoy every drop of it, Patrick. Thanks for stopping by. ♪ On this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ God get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard ♪ ♪ fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪ Raylan: When? Art: Last night. Right after lockdown. Raylan: He's been questioned? Art: Apparently, he didn't have much to say. Raylan: Who did he kill, again? Art: Sam Porter -- Dixie mafia thug, served eight years of a 10-year stint for attempted murder, trustee with the prison. Raylan: I know this dude. Art: You do? Raylan: He was in the room last night when I showed Arlo the bag. Art: What bag? Raylan: The bag I showed him last night. Art: Raylan, on a scale from one to a sh1t load, how much do you need to tell me right now? [ Thud ] So, Arlo didn't say anything about the I.D. or the bag? Raylan: Just got him to admit he knew it was hidden in the wall. Art: Why would your father do that? Raylan: Why would he hide a Panamanian diplomatic bag in the wall or murder someone for just laying eyes on it? Art: Either. Both. Raylan: You could ask him. I get the feeling he ain't gonna say much. Art: Well, then, maybe we need to ask him. Waldo Truth. Ava: It could be a coincidence. Johnny: One dealer gets turned, I might by that. But a dealer and a hooker? No, that feels like we got a target on our backs. Boyd: Did Ellen May say how she came to be acquainted with our new friend, preacher Billy? Ava: No. But whatever he said to her, she is mighty convinced. Johnny: Why don't we take a drive over there and see what this kid's got to say? Boyd: This church is a nuisance and nothing more. Johnny: I can go alone if you want. Boyd: What I want is for you to find out why our sales have dropped off. Like I asked you to do, Johnny. Johnny: This church is the reason. Boyd: People in Harlan county still party on Friday and Saturday night and get saved on Sunday morning. Now, is there anything else you want to discuss, or are you good? Johnny? Johnny: I'm good. Ava: Little rough on him. Nuisance or worse, it's not a bad idea going down there to see what this church is all about. Boyd: I don't like churches, Ava. Ava: Okay. Boyd: Close that door. Tim: Extortion, evading arrest, assault with deadly weapon, grand theft auto, extortion count two, D&D, B&E, DMZ -- Raylan: DMZ?! Tim: Making sure you're still paying attention. Raylan: All that just for one family? Tim: No, that's actually all just Jud Truth, Waldo's oldest, but the rest of them are all similarly decorated. Grandson Milo is 13. He spent three months in juvie last year for pissing on a cop. Raylan: Jesus. Are you sure you want to go with us, Art? Tim: He's got a point, boss. I mean, hell, their dog's in the pound. Art: You know the best barbecue I ever had was in Versailles? That's where Waldo is. I don't want to miss out on that brisket. Art: Why don't you tell us why you're going? Hmm? Of all the fugitives that have come across our desk of late, why you got to go on this one? Art: Because for 30 years, this office dropped the ball on apprehending a federal fugitive that was collecting a draw check. And I, personally, want to be the one to cross that off the books. Raylan: Is that what it is? Art: That's what it is. And also that mystery-bag thing's giving me a little bit of a marshal stiffy. Tim: That's a nice image. Art: Any other questions or concerns here? Raylan: Are you driving? Art: No. Boss doesn't drive, unless he wants to, and I don't want to. But we are gonna stop for lunch before we get to the Truths' in case you shoot one of them. Then we won't get to go after. [ Sighing ] Okay. Oh, we watch them for a few hours every day. Allow their parents to go to job interviews, run a few errands, take a few minutes alone, if that's what they need. Oh, that's so nice of you. Yeah, well, we, ourselves, believe that what we're doing is just a drop in the ocean, but the ocean will be less because of that missing drop. I'm Cassie. Oh, um...I'm Ellen May. Yeah. I remember you from last night. Is there something we can do for you? I was hoping -- is Billy around? Mm, I'm afraid he's busy. Oh. Okay. Maybe there's something I can do. Ah, no. I think I just -- I just really need to talk to Billy. Well, you can always try back later. I thought I heard your voice. It's nice to see you again. I don't mean to be a bother. Oh, nonsense. No, I needed the break. Well, I'll leave you two alone. Ellen May. Bye. Surprised to see you here again so soon. So, what is it I can do for you? Um... well, I just -- I just wanted to say...how much I appreciate your taking an interest in me. Um... but I don't -- I don't think I can be a part of your church. If -- if I may ask, what has turned you so quickly away from us? Um... sit. Oh, well, I know how you said that, uh...that God loves everybody. Yes, he does. And that Jesus forgives us our sins if...we just embrace him into our hearts. Oh, I did some terrible things, Billy. Oh, Ellen May -- [ Voice breaking ] No, I mean...like unspeakable, awful things. Things that -- things that nobody could ever forgive. It's not true. None among us are without sin. The severity of your transgressions pales in comparison to your commitment to salvation -- the good you do going forward. "For God sent not his son into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world, through him, might be saved." That's real pretty. [ Laughs ] But I thought that -- that some people just can't be saved, no matter what. Who planted that seed in your mind? Is it those for whom you have compromised yourself? They done -- they done good things for me, too. They are trying to shame you, Ellen May. No. Shame you into believing you are less than the beautiful, special creature that you are, and they do so out of their own fear and greed. Come here. Now, listen to me. Do you want to be a part of this? More than -- more than anything in the world. Then it will be so. And we will shame those who attempt to poison your mind with guilt and sadness, and you will know what true peace and happiness can be. Oh. [ Cheering ] [SCENE_BREAK] [ Indistinct conversations ] Let's do this! Yeah! [ Cheering continues ] Yeah! Let's do this! [ Grunts ] [ Cheering continues ] [ Grunts ] Goddamn, man. Quit that sh1t. Well, stop trying to stand up, I'll stop hitting you. Boyd: [ Whistles ] Oh, sh1t. [ Laughs ] He keeps trying to stand up. Boyd: Uh, any reason why he shouldn't? On my last tour, so, they transfer me from Iraq to Bagram air base in Afghanistan. Much prettier than I expected. Boyd: Really? Oh, man. They got poppy fields, got snow-capped mountains in the wintertime. It's beautiful. Hey, that's an awful nice story, but what -- [ Gun cocks ] It is rude to interrupt people, Danny. Don't you think? Don't do that again. Where was I? Boyd: Uh, snow-capped mountains. D-d-doesn't really matter. Besides all that, mostly the same sh1t, you know? A lot of guys, a few years in, looking for ways to cope, but what they can find in Afghanistan that they did not find in Iraq -- heroin. Boyd: Really? After awhile, I can spot a doper from a hundred yards away just by the hitch in his step. So, when I spot Danny here lurking around Audry's place, I take a chance. I shake him down. You were right. Church ain't your only problem. Boyd: [ Sighs ] You selling heroin in my backyard, son. When my people hear about this, you two is gonna wish you was dead. Boyd: Well, maybe I got a death wish, but I'd like to talk to your people. You got a phone number? Hey. Address. Frankfort. Boyd: Frankfort? Ava: Boyd! You got to come see this. ♪ Yes, we'll gather at the river ♪ ♪ the beautiful, the beautiful river ♪ ♪ gather with the saints at the river ♪ ♪ that flows by the throne of God ♪ Boyd: Now, that's a pretty nameplate. Well, I always feel that this office and me have been a pretty good fit. Boyd: Why, you nervous, Shelby? 'Cause we're way past the point of guilty by association. Why don't you have a seat? Did you have any luck looking into that church? Do you happen to recall a phone conversation we had a few months back? Boyd: I believe we had a couple of phone conversations a few months back. The one where I expressed my opinion that we were square. Boyd: Well, now, Shelby, I thought we were a circle. I can't be part of your business anymore, Boyd. I will turn my head as far as I can without breaking my neck, but this can't continue. Boyd: Well, Shelby, don't think of this as a nefarious interaction so much as a concerned citizen reaching out to his sheriff in an attempt to protect the good people of Harlan county. Now, I believe we might have a cult in our midst. [ Sighs ] If I give you this, we're done. No slips of the mind, no "one more favor" -- done. Boyd: Whatever you say, Shelby. Billy and his sister been in five cities in three years, each one more desperate and beaten-down than the last. They set up shop, recruit locals, preach their gospel, and then, after a few months, they move along. No trouble with the law as far as I could find. Boyd: So Billy and his sister move into a town in its time of need, chip away at the criminal element's enterprise till they got no choice but to pay them off. Harlan is far from thriving, and folks pouring what little they got into drugs and whores ain't gonna get it back on track. This church might just be trying to help. Boyd: Well, you see it your way. I see it mine. Thought it was supposed to be $500 if I won, plus a cut of the action. You're new around here. Folks bet less on fights between fighters they don't know. Just be glad you didn't lose. How do I know you ain't shorting me? You don't. But you came to me looking for action, not the other way around. What, I got to fight again? You don't got to worry about that. Rufus don't fight. Well, what about that other thing? How soon can your boys get what I want? Well, you got the money? You get the cash. I'll make the call. Until then, get your white-trash ass off my property. Rufus, clean this sh1t up. Hey! I said, "Hey!" You cost us money. Sorry about that. I don't think you are. You're right. I'm not. So, how's about you make it up to us-- pay us back out of your winnings? Well, that ain't gonna happen. But I tell you what I'll do. I'll give you a free piece of advice. Next time...bet on me. Don't fix to wait that long. Y'all really want to do this? You ain't that tough. Besides, there's two of us. [ Grunts ] I thought you said there were two of you. Well, what about your money? Keep it! Too late for that. Please, don't! I'm sorry! [ Grunts ] [ Laughing ] What are you doing? Tapping out? There ain't no referee. [ Strained ] Can't breathe. I know you can't breathe, dumbass. I got you in a choke hold. You know what we used to do to boys back home when they get tough? We raccoon them. You know what that is? [ Gasping ] Now, tomorrow, when you wake up, you're gonna have a couple of nice shiners to show all your boys. [SCENE_BREAK] Raylan: [ Snores ] Art: [ Taps leg ] Raylan: What? Is someone here? Art: You were snoring. Raylan: So, no one's here. Tim: You were snoring real loud. Raylan: What time is it? Art: Why? You got somewhere you need to be? Raylan: I got a 6:00 Pilates class I was hoping to make. Art: Well, this is the job, Raylan. Long as somebody might come up and take a draw check out of that mailbox, we wait. Tim: I think he was joking, boss. Art: Really? Was he? 'Cause I couldn't tell. Raylan: I'm sorry. What are we talking about? Art: Where were you yesterday? Raylan: Why? Did something happen? Art: No. Raylan: So, what's the problem? Art: You're keeping addict hours. You come in late, you leave early, you're haggard -- it's like the baby's already been born. Raylan: I don't know what you're talking about. Art: Tim? Tim: I'd rather not take sides. Raylan: Thank you. Art: Well, would you rather do morning prisoner transport for the next six months? Tim: You do seem a little tired. Art: No sh1t. The question is, why? Tim: The smart money in the office pool is on exotic dancing. Raylan: What's your money on, Art? Art: No. Mine's on nothing, 'cause I know that you know that it's against marshal service policy for you to do anything on the side, exotic or otherwise. Raylan: You know what we should have done? We should have brought a bottle of pappy van winkle. Tim: You got a bottle of pappy? Raylan: No, but Art does. Patrick Massett brought one by to him. Art: Don't change the subject. Tim: What did he want? Art: He didn't want anything. Raylan: He read the announcement. He wants Art's job. It's why Art's probably with us now, in fact. Art: Raylan. Raylan: I'm just saying, we can talk about it if you'd like. Art: Raylan. Raylan: Hmm? Tim: That's the grandson, Milo. [ Car door opens ] Art: No, no, no. Don't get too close. You'll spook him. Let's just follow him in the car. [ Engine turns over ] sh1t. He made us. Raylan: You see him? Tim: I got him. He's up there on the right. Help! We've got some pervies! Perverts! Perverts! Help! I'm being chased by perverts! All right, now, you perverts can go ahead and stop right there. Raylan: We ain't perverts. U.S. marshals. We need you to put those guns down. Marshals, my ass. These perverts was following me. You got any proof that you're federals? Art: You put the weapons down, we'll show you some badges. Badges? sh1t, I seen one badge, I've seen a hundred of them. Tim: You must be Jud. That's right. Tim: You're the one stole the ambulance, ran it across the county, and then tried to jump Benedict creek? You heard about that, huh? Tim: Yeah, I heard about that. You know what happened when they tried arresting me, then. Tim: Nope. If you did, you'd know you'd better get your sorry government asses out of here. Raylan: We ain't here for you, Jud. You got 10 seconds. Art: This doesn't have to go wrong, son. Well, that's on you. Five seconds. Tim: Hey, he's stealing your bit. Raylan: Any of you so much as flinch, we're gonna put you down. You're gonna die right in front of your kin. That what you want? Don't matter to me. Y'all all right with it? Yep. Never thought I'd live this long. What is going on out here?! These perverts was chasing me. They don't look like perverts. Well, maybe that one. They say they's federals. Art: We're U.S. marshals, ma'am. Marshals. That's fancy. You best go on ahead and state your business. Art: Just looking for Waldo Truth. My husband? He ain't here. If you want to leave a means to get in touch, when he stumbles home, I'll holler. Art: But, just so you understand, till we meet Waldo, we're gonna put a stop to those disability checks. Hell you are. Bullshit! Y'all ain't gonna take our draw. Lower those goddamn guns! You want to start shooting with my grandbabies right here? I'm sorry about them. Nelly, get inside and start calling around for Waldo, would you? Sure, mama. You ain't gonna take our draw. I met Waldo at the drive-in. I was there with my first husband, Kyle Lee. Kyle went off to pee, and Waldo slid right into the car. Started chatting me up. I shut him down, showed him my ring, told him, "This snatch is off limits." You know what he said? Raylan: I can only imagine. He said, "I got a goldfish." Art: Pardon? That was my response, too, marshal. "The hell did you just say?" So, Waldo says, "I have a goldfish." So I say, "What the hell does your goldfish have to do with me being married?" So he says, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about sh1t that don't matter." [ Laughter ] The most romantic thing a man ever said to me. Art: Yep. I'll bet it was. Are y'all sure you won't have a drink? Tim: That's not allowed, but thanks for the offer. So, what do y'all want to talk to Waldo about? He done something bad? Art: Young fella, you do understand that we are federal officers, right? So, he did do something bad. Tim: I think he's referring to the pot. Oh, I got the glaucoma -- real bad. It is difficult to see your children suffer. Know what I found to be the secret to raising kids is? Raylan: Do tell. Hello? You got to -- Waldo, come on in. Tim: Mr. Truth, just stop right there. Well, look at this. Got the whole family together. That warms my soul. It really does. Art: We just have a few questions. Uh, now, you'll understand if I greet my wife first. Tim: He's all right. Art: Sure. [ Chuckles ] Oh. [ Smooches ] You look real nice, mother. Thank you. All right, then, gentlemen. I'm Waldo Truth. What is it I can do for you? Art: Just have a seat right here and let me see some I.D., please. Uh, certainly. Let's see. I got my, uh, official state card here. It's, uh, not a very good picture of me. And I got my social security card here, too. Tim: You're the same Waldo Truth convicted of armed robbery back in 1971, served 11 years? We all make mistakes, but I paid for mine. I lived it nice and clean ever since. Raylan: Does this look familiar? Uh... Art: That was found inside a Panamanian diplomatic pouch that we believe was carrying some illicit material. I'm afraid you lost me now. Tim: Do you know Arlo Givens? Arlo who? Art: That's the man who had the bag with the I.D. in it. You know, I'm sorry. I just can't help you. Raylan: But you are, in fact, Waldo Truth? Oh, yeah. I'm Waldo Truth. Raylan: Well, then, you're under arrest. What for? Tim: Y'all just stay right where you are. Parole violation back in '82. Art: Yeah, the records were misplaced, but you're a wanted fugitive, Waldo. No, no, no, no. Hold on. Hold on. You never let me finish my story from earlier. I ain't Waldo Truth. Goddamn you, Harold! My real name is Harold Shawn, Jr. I'm gonna cut your balls off. Harold, shut up! You never told me that Waldo was wanted! Look, I only came to know mother here and the family 15 years or so ago. I agreed to help keep the draw going and pretend I'm Waldo. Raylan: Where is Waldo? Tim: sh1t. You ain't gonna take our draw. You gave him a gun? We agreed it was time. Raylan: Mrs. Truth, tell the boy to put down the gun. Milo, honey. You can't shoot a federal. Put that gun down right now. Oh, I'll put it down, soon as these shit-heads get -- get off me, pervert! Raylan: You stay right there, on your ass. All right. Here's the deal, people. We are gonna haul your asses in for harboring a fugitive, threatening a federal officer, possession and distribution of narcotics, mail fraud, identity theft, and some other sh1t that I'm sure we're gonna find here. So, congrats. A draw check is now the least of your goddamn concerns, and I think I'll start with you, ma'am. I don't know where Waldo is. Raylan: Is that right? I hadn't seen him in almost 30 damn years, not since that man came and took him away. Raylan: What man? What do you mean, "took him away"? He -- he said he had some job for him, he was some kind of pilot, and that Waldo wasn't coming back. Art: And you were okay with that? Of course I was. Waldo was an asshole. Tim: I thought he was romantic. Sure, until I said, "I do." After that, he'd beat on me like it was his job. We got in a fight so bad one time I stabbed him in the cheek. Raylan: You stabbed him in the face? No, honey. Not that cheek. You sold our daddy out? Waldo being gone was the answer to our prayers -- all of ours. Art: What was his name? The pilot that took Waldo? I don't know. Jew -- something like that. Art: Jew? Was it Drew? Drew Thompson? Yeah, that's it. How did you figure that? Raylan: Yeah. How did you figure that? Art: We're done here. Tim: We are? Art: Yep. Ma'am, you have a lovely family, and, uh, we wish the best of luck to all of you. We will be taking the guns, though. Let's go. I hereby baptize you in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy ghost, this water washing away all guilt from sin and cleansing your heart. Now, emerge -- reborn a child of God. Amen. [ Cheers and applause ] Amen. Congratulations. Boyd... Do not be alarmed. Boyd Crowder. I had, in fact, prayed that you and your friends might find your way into this tent. Boyd: Speak of the devil, and he will appear. "And these signs shall follow them that believe. In my name, they shall cast out devils." Boyd: Are you gonna cast me out, preacher? Is that why you're here? On the contrary, Boyd. I'd much rather bring you in. Let all here witness, that even the most prodigious sinners can become beacons of faith. Are you prepared to come forth and be saved? Well, what makes you think we need saving, preacher? Everyone here knows of you. I have been told personally how you exploit people for your own gain, and, as we know from Isaiah, "'There is no peace,' saieth the lord, 'unto the wicked.'" Boyd: Wicked? Well, I would never be so bold as to pass judgment against a man I do not know. But the hubris of making assumptions about a people and a place to which you are a foreigner strikes me as a grave sin, indeed. All souls here and those in the other towns I have served would testify to my integrity. Would they to yours? Boyd: You know, I once stood where you are now. Preaching to wayward souls, asking for their faith, and, in return, offering them eternal salvation. But, in the end, their faith was not rewarded. And mine was shattered. Is that why you are now pursuing this materialistic path? Boyd: Oh, we all got to eat, Billy. You got your collection plate, and I got mine. Every man here gives only as he is willing and able. Boyd: They stop giving to you in West Virginia? Or Tennessee before that? Is that why you move on the way you do? It is the lord who determines my path. In fact, he came to me in a dream. Gave onto me a prophetic vision of Harlan and its suffering. Boyd: Well, you know what the apostle John had to say about prophets. "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether or not they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world." I look at you. I think about you moving from state to state, asking all these people for their hard-earned money, and offering them empty promises of salvation in return, and, I wonder, if when John wasn't talking about false prophets, he wasn't talking about you. Mr. Crowder's skepticism... is wise... and hard-earned. My struggle will never be as great as yours, for I sleep in the lord's warm embrace and will never know true cold or hunger. Yes. So, from this moment on, no member of this congregation shall give even one cent to this church... [ cheers ] ...for the man who hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed, and the man who giveth his bread to the poor shall never want. So, let all here bear witness, as I ask none of you to ever sacrifice the bread from your table in the name of this church ever again. Praise be to God. Praise be to God. Lord almighty, praise be to God. That didn't go so well. Boyd: Actually, Colton, I think we got exactly what we came here for. [ Cheers ] [ Chuckles ] Art: That was my second year. Drew Thompson pancaking into that driveway -- about the most exciting thing to happen in southeastern Kentucky since... Raylan: Electricity? Tim: Oh, they have that down there, now? Art: That was the day cocaine came to Harlan county. Oh, look. M.E.'s office sent this over about an hour ago. Guess what it says. Raylan: The body in the driveway had a scar on its ass? Tim: You gonna make another "marshal stiffy" comment? Art: I might. Raylan: Waldo Truth died in that driveway. Where the hell is Drew Thompson? Art: Well, I don't know. But I'll bet your daddy does. Boyd: Now, everybody in that church was smiling ear to ear except for his sister. Turn around! Now, Billy may answer to a higher power, but his sister's pulling all the strings. Now, we find out what it is she wants, and these flood waters will recede. Ava: What about Ellen May? Boyd: Well, Ava, I'm afraid she might have been swept away by this storm for good. I -- I know you liked her, baby, but, believe me, there's plenty other girls out there -- Ava: It ain't that, Boyd. What if, in her need to unburden her soul, she decides to divulge certain details about the murder of a pimp? [ Door opens ] Boyd: Wynn Duffy. Why, Duffy's people, meet my people. My people, meet Wynn Duffy's people. Wynn: Slow night? Boyd: Uh, we, uh, closed for remodeling. Wynn: I hope he's not your interior decorator. Boyd: No, actually. He's the reason why you're here. Wynn: Now I'm confused. Boyd: Well, we caught this young man selling Dixie mafia heroin out back. Wynn: Uh...what makes you so sure he's one of mine? Boyd: Well, his driver's license said Frankfort, for one. Wynn: Well, I didn't go to law school, but I believe that's what the attorneys call "circumstantial evidence." Boyd: Which is why I sent my boys up to Frankfort to buy some of your heroin. Now, these...we got off Danny, here. And...these we bought at the corner of third and Jefferson. I believe that's in your zip code, is it not? Now, I didn't go to law school, either, but I believe that's what they would call "a smoking gun." Wynn: Mr. Crowder, I have many men in my employ. If one of them strayed, I can only apologize and say, "It will not happen again." Boyd: Well, you got me all wrong, Wynn. I don't want an apology! I want to be your partner. I would like to be your distributor of heroin in Harlan county. Now, I figure we split it right down the middle. You and me, we could both make out pretty well. Wynn: But even if I were looking for a partner -- which I'm not, by the way -- it would have to be someone I could trust. Boyd: Well, you can trust me. Wynn: But I don't even trust the way you just now said I could trust you. Boyd: [ Chuckles ] Well, I was hoping not to have to go down this road, but if you want Danny to leave this room alive, I'd ask you to reconsider my offer. Wynn: Any dealer silly enough to poach your territory is not welcome in my crew. Boys, if you would. I'm sorry about the mess. Boyd: Uh...we'll clean it up. Let's look at this as a first step in the trust direction. Wynn: Well, that's mighty Christian of you. If there's nothing else, I'm gonna leave now. Boyd: Um, no. Wynn: Oh, you know what? Since we're being...so chummy. You wouldn't have any idea why Arlo Givens murdered that Dixie mafia soldier in Tramble, would you? Boyd: Well, if Arlo Givens killed somebody in prison, this is the first I'm hearing about it, sincerely. Wynn: All right. Well, it seems to me that maybe you and Arlo ought to have a chat. Boyd: Well, I'll have my secretary make an appointment, and I'll get back to you. Wynn: Good luck with the remodel. My...That is quite a story. [SCENE_BREAK] Raylan: It doesn't bore you, hearing about my day? Your days are more interesting than most. Raylan: Hmm. What? Raylan: I just didn't think you were that kind of girl. I could be any number of kind of girls, depending on what the situation called for. So, what's next? Raylan: I was just thinking we could lock that door and have some fun on this here bar. Did you? [ Music stops ] 'Cause I actually meant what was next with the case. Raylan: I knew that. Well? Raylan: I guess we just keep digging and see what turns up. 'Cause you're the guy in the white hat. Raylan: 'Cause that's what I get paid to do. So what happens if you find this guy who was ruthless enough to fake his own death and smart enough that nobody even realized it? Raylan: It's hard to say. But there could be some gunplay involved. Can I tell you something? Raylan: What's that? In the right light, you could be considered attractive. Raylan: Thank you. I wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers. Why else would I be there? Hmm? [ Door opens ] Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting. Raylan: Buddy, we are definitely closed. Oh, that's all right. I just need to have a quick word with my wife.	Plan: A: Raylan; Q: Who tells his colleagues about the bag's link to the killing in the prison? A: the US Marshals' office; Q: Where does Raylan tell his colleagues about the bag's link to the killing in the prison? A: 30 years; Q: How long has Waldo Truth been collecting social security checks? A: the purview; Q: What does finding Waldo Truth make of the US Marshals? A: Waldo Truth's; Q: Whose family did Raylan track down? A: an airplane pilot; Q: What was Drew Thompson's occupation? A: Drew Thompson; Q: Who was the parachutist originally identified as? A: Art; Q: Who is Raylan's boss? A: authorities; Q: Who initially identified the dead parachutist as Drew Thompson? A: the Truth's house; Q: Where did Art realize the dead parachutist was Waldo Truth? Summary: Raylan tells his colleagues at the US Marshals' office about the bag's link to the killing in the prison. Waldo Truth has been collecting social security checks for 30 years, but the Marshals think he's dead. This means someone has been cashing federal checks unlawfully, which makes finding Waldo Truth the purview of the US Marshals. Together with his colleagues, Raylan tracks down Waldo Truth's family who tell him the last time they saw Waldo Truth was when he left with an airplane pilot named Drew Thompson. Raylan's boss, Art, later discloses that he remembers the case about the dead parachutist, who authorities originally identified as Drew Thompson. After the visit to the Truth's house, Art realizes the dead parachutist was not Thompson, but in fact Waldo Truth.
Scene: The Cheesecake Factory Penny: Hey, do me a favour and take table seven. Bernadette: You mean the one with my one hundred and eighteen-pound rock-hard stud of a fiancé who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye? Penny: Nah, I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-boyfriend and his gorgeous, successful and sophisticated girlfriend, who makes me feel like a toothless Okie. Bernadette: Do you want me to spill hot soup on her? Penny: Oh, please, you're not that kind of person. Bernadette: I know. But if she orders something low-fat I'll totally give her the full-fat version. Leonard: Uh, that's my water. Sheldon: What? Leonard: My water. You're drinking it. Sheldon: Dear Lord! Have you been drinking it? Leonard: Yes. It's my water. Sheldon: Well, that's it then. I'm dead. Leonard: Here we go. Sheldon: I'm sorry, do I really need to connect the dots for you? The backwash into this glass is every pathogen that calls your mouth home, sweet home. Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the dancing tongue of your subtropical girlfriend. Raj: Hey! That's my sister and my country you're talking about. Leonard may have defiled one, but I won't have you talking smack about the other. Bernadette: You guys ready to order? Sheldon: Yes, I'd like a seven-day course of penicillin, some, uh, syrup of ipecac, to induce vomiting, and a mint. Bernadette: I don't understand. Howard: He drank from Leonard's glass. Sheldon: He drank from Leonard's glass. Words they'll be carving into my tombstone. Leonard: That's actually my napkin. Sheldon: Oh, this is a nightmare! Howard: Where are you going? Sheldon: To the bar, to sterilize my mouth with alcohol. Gang way! Dead man walking! Credits sequence. Scene: The same. Bernadette: All right. Here you go. Two lemonades, one iced tea and a root beer for Priya. Priya: Is it diet? Bernadette: That's what you ordered. Priya: Thank you. Hey, have you and Howard started planning your wedding yet? Bernadette: Yeah. We're thinking of having it on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Howard: Nothing soothes those pre-wedding jitters like the thought of falling and drowning. Leonard: What did your mother say when you told her you were getting married? Bernadette: He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time. Howard: I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy. Priya: Howard, you've got to tell your mother. Howard: Hey, have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skim milk here? Priya: Uh, that's different. First of all, we're not engaged, and second, Indian parents are very protective of their children. Howard: Right, right, whereas Jewish mothers take a casual, la-di-da approach to their sons. Sheldon: I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit. Leonard: You all right? Sheldon: Fine. Thank you for asking. I love you so much. Scene: The apartment. Sheldon: Fire demon. Raj: Ooh, fire demon. Sheldon's turning up the heat. Howard: Troll master. Raj: Check it! Howard pulls one out from under the bridge. Nice! Leonard: Water nymph. Raj: Oh, yeah, she's got puddles in all the right places. Sheldon: Could you please play the game without commenting on every card? Raj: Sorry. Walking tree. Sheldon: Last one. Raj: I'm taking a stroll and I'm sporting wood. Howard (reading a text): Okay, the Eagle has landed. Leonard: What's going on? Howard: Bernadette and my mother are having a get-to-know-you lunch at the Old Town Deli. Raj: Oh, that sounds lovely. Howard: Hope so. Of course, if history is any indication, my mother will swallow her whole and spit out her bones like an owl. Leonard: Have you met Bernadette's parents? Howard: You mean Adolf and Eva? Not yet. One goose step at a time. Raj: Sheldon, that's my water. Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord! Leonard: That's not your water. Raj: I know. Sheldon: Where's the mouthwash? Raj (holding it): Where indeed. Scene: Howard's house. Howard: Ma, I'm home! Where are you? Mrs Wolowitz (off): I'm in the toilet. Howard: So, how'd it go? Mrs Wolowitz: Too soon to say. I'm not done yet. Howard: No, I mean lunch, today, with Bernadette. Mrs Wolowitz: Oh! I had a pastrami sandwich. She had eggplant lasagna. Like that's what a person orders in a Jewish deli. Howard: Besides food, did you get along? Did you talk? Mrs Wolowitz: Oh, sure. Did you know she's going to school to become a microbiologist? Howard: No, she never mentioned it. Mrs Wolowitz: I bet she did and you didn't listen. Howard: Yeah, that's probably it. So, what do you think? Do you like her? She's great, huh? Mrs Wolowitz: She's a lovely girl. Cute as a button. Howard: That's good to hear, 'cause I've got some news. Mrs Wolowitz: I hope it's good news, because I've got nothing but disappointment in here! Howard: Bernadette and I are getting married. Ma? You too busy bearing down? Ma? (crashing sound from in bathroom) Oh, my God, Ma? Ma? Ma? Stand back, I'm gonna break the door down! (Runs at door. It doesn't break down. Falls over.) Son of a bitch! Ma, help! Scene: The laundry room. Penny: Hey. Sheldon: Hello. Penny: Haven't seen you in a while. How's it going? Sheldon: Oh, other than waiting out the exponential growth period of the virulent organisms trooping through my microvilli into my circulatory system, hunky-dory. (Penny laughs) Did I say something amusing? Penny: I don't know, maybe, I have no idea what you said. Sheldon: So your mirth is merely a discharge of nervous energy with no semantic content at all? Penny: My mirth. Classic. Sheldon: Is there a station coming up where I can board your giggling train of thought? Penny: It's not a big deal, Sheldon. It's just, ever since Leonard's been dating Raj's sister, I've had to keep my distance. I don't get to hear all your jibber-jabber. Sheldon: Jibber-jabber? I don't jibber-jabber. Penny: What are you doing at work these days? Sheldon: Oh, I'm working on time-dependent backgrounds in string theory, specifically quantum field theory in D-dimensional de Sitter space. Penny: Alright, come on, even you have to admit that's jibber-jabber. Sheldon: Interesting, do you know where the phrase jibber-jabber comes from? Penny: Oh, my God, you're about to jibber-jabber about jibber-jabber. Leonard: Howard and his mother are at the hospital. Come on, we gotta go. Penny: Oh, my God! What happened? Leonard: I don't know, I just got a text. Come on, hurry. Penny: Okay. Leonard: Sheldon, let's go! Sheldon: To a hospital? Full of sick people? Oh, I don't think so. Penny: Okay, well, your friend and his mother are there, we're going. Sheldon: I can't. Penny: Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of germs. Sheldon: Not all germs. Just the ones that will kill me. It's the same way I'm not afraid of all steak knives, just the ones that might be plunged in my thorax. Leonard: Right, fine. I'll tell Howard you didn't come because you're more concerned about your own well-being than his. Sheldon: I would think he would know that. Penny: Okay, you know what? You are unbelievable. You buy all these superhero T-shirts, but when it's time for you to step up and do the right thing, you just hide in the laundry room. Sheldon: Fine, I'll go. Just for the record, my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital. She went in to visit my Uncle Roger, caught something and bit the dust a week later. The two of them now share a coffee can on my mother's mantel. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: A hospital waiting room. Howard: So I knocked down the bathroom door, picked up my poor unconscious mother, carried her to the car, and drove like a madman to the emergency room. Bernadette: You're a real hero, Howard. Howard: No, I did what any son would do. Penny: Hang on a second, you picked up your mother? Her own legs are barely able to do that. Howard: I was filled with adrenaline. It happens to be how women lift cars off babies. Penny: Yeah, I'm saying, it'd be easier to lift a car. Howard: What can I tell you? After I found the courage to put her pants back on, I was unstoppable. Leonard: So, how is she? Howard: They're running tests. I don't know. It may have been a heart attack or heart-attack-like event. Penny: What's the difference? Sheldon: A heart-attack-like event is an event that's like a heart attack. Penny: Thanks for clearing that up. Sheldon: Regardless, coronary problems are eminently treatable. What's more likely going to kill Howard's mother are the antibiotic-resistant super-bugs festering in every nook and cranny of this hospital. Penny: Okay, you're not helping. Sheldon: Disagree. Leonard: Go sit over there. Sheldon: I'll sit over there, it looks cleaner. Leonard: Is there a history of heart disease in your family? Howard: My family is the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this (clutches chest). Bernadette: So it's probably genetic. Howard: Well, maybe. Mom also had just gotten some news that might have upset her. Bernadette: What? Howard: It's not important. Bernadette: Come on, Howard, I'm going to be your wife. You can share anything with me. Howard: You'd think that. But no. Bernadette: You told her we were going to get married and she had a heart attack? Howard: You can't take that personally. Penny: How else is she supposed to take it? Howard: What you've got to keep in mind is that ever since my dad left, I've been the whole world to my mother. I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't. Bernadette: You mean sexual intercourse? Howard: Well, when you say it like that you make it sound creepy. Priya (arriving): What happened? Bernadette: Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have s*x with him and she can't. Howard: Bernie, wait! Sheldon (to Raj): I'll give you $1,000 if you'll drive me home. Scene: The same, later. Priya: Nice of you to come for Howard. Penny: Well, he's my friend. It's what you do. (Laughs) Priya: I'm sorry, did I miss something? Penny: It's just so weird. Howard Wolowitz is my friend. You know, once he tried to stick his tongue down my throat and I broke his nose. Priya: That's a little easier to believe than he's your friend. Penny: Yeah, tell me about it.	Plan: A: Howard; Q: Who is upset that Bernadette believes she is the reason for her mother's collapse? A: their respective parents; Q: Who did Bernadette and Howard decide to tell about their engagement? A: their engagement; Q: What do Bernadette and Howard decide to inform their parents about? A: a lunch; Q: What does Howard arrange for his fiancée and his mother? A: the good news; Q: What does Howard hear while talking to his mother? A: an apparent heart attack; Q: What did Howard's mother collapse from? A: Sheldon; Q: Who is quarantined in the hospital for two weeks after the exposure? A: Penny; Q: Who pressures Sheldon to go to the hospital? A: The doctor; Q: Who tells the others that it wasn't a heart attack? A: the restaurant; Q: Where did Bernadette's mother get food poisoning? A: Bernadette's well-being; Q: What was the doctor worried about? A: a lot; Q: How much does Bernadette's mother like her? A: bond; Q: What do Priya and Penny do while searching for the cafeteria? A: the bedroom; Q: Where do Priya and Penny discuss Leonard's skills? A: shelter; Q: What does Sheldon seek in a random room in the hospital? A: a bio-hazard room; Q: What does Sheldon find in the hospital? A: his friends; Q: Who keeps Sheldon company in the hospital? Summary: Bernadette and Howard decide to inform their respective parents about their engagement. Howard arranges a lunch for his fiancée and his mother and they end up getting along well. After Howard hears the good news while talking to his mother, who is in the bathroom, he decides to make the move and tell her about the engagement. To his horror, she collapses from an apparent heart attack. Howard takes her to the hospital. When the others hear about this, they rush to the hospital. Sheldon is initially reluctant to visit the hospital and only agrees to come after Penny pressures him to go. When Bernadette finds out that Howard was telling his mother about his engagement before she collapsed, she is very upset, as she believes that she is the reason all this happened. The doctor informs them that it had not been a heart attack and that she wants to see Bernadette. It is revealed that she actually had food poisoning from the restaurant and was worried about Bernadette's well-being, whom she actually likes a lot. Bernadette ends up being mad at Howard, as he led her to believe that it was all her fault. While in the hospital, Priya and Penny start searching for the cafeteria and bond in the process. They mainly discuss Leonard's skills in the bedroom. Sheldon has other things to worry about, as he tries to avoid contact with anything in the hospital. When he tries to avoid a coughing patient, he seeks shelter in a random room. Much to his horror, it turns out to be a bio-hazard room. Sheldon is eventually quarantined in the hospital for two weeks after the exposure, with his friends keeping him company.
EXT. NORTH POLE, DAY, 1983 The camera zooms over the ice floes before diving into the water. EXT. SEA A large submarine makes its way through the waters. We hear RADAR pinging. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM The crew seems to be moving in a type of controlled chaos. Everyone knows their job, but there is a sense of urgency. MAN: (over radio) Signal is genuine. Signal is genuine. Zero bravo... The CAPTAIN and his lieutenant, STEPASHIN, insert their keys into the slots on the control panel. EXT. SEA Two bays open exposing nuclear missiles. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM The CAPTAIN delivers orders over the radio. CAPTAIN: Prepare to launch nuclear weapons. CREWMAN: Aye, sir. MAN: (over radio) Moscow confirming launch sequence. CAPTAIN: (readies hand over the launch button) The Firebird stands ready to serve. STEPASHIN: For the motherland. CAPTAIN: For the motherland. (rests thumb above button, about to push) A voice comes through singing along with "Vienna" by Ultravox as if learning the words. An older MAN comes through the hatch listening to a Walkman. MAN: (sings) This means nothing to me. Oh, Vienna. The CAPTAIN and STEPASHIN look at him. MAN: Have I interrupted something? CAPTAIN: We were about to blow up the world, Professor. PROFESSOR: Again? (puts a hand on the Walkman) Ultravox! I bloody love 'em. Got a friend who sends me the tapes. The CAPTAIN walks over to the radio microphone. CAPTAIN: This is the captain. Drill abandoned. All hands, stand down. Repeat - drill abandoned. STEPASHIN: With respect, sir, we must run it again. CAPTAIN: Tomorrow. STEPASHIN: Comrade Captain, the NATO exercises... CAPTAIN: Sabre-rattling. STEPASHIN: I don't think so. CAPTAIN: Oh, you don't think so? STEPASHIN: Sir, American aggression gets more intolerable by the day. We must run the drill again! CAPTAIN: Tomorrow. STEPASHIN leaves. CAPTAIN: (to PROFESSOR) Did you have your specimen stowed ok? PROFESSOR: Yeah, Piotr's looking after it. CAPTAIN: Well, at least we have something to show for our little hunting expedition. What is it? A mammoth? PROFESSOR: Probably. INT. SUBMARINE, HOLD A large block of ice sits in the hold. A dark figure can be seen within. PIOTR, a young crewman, stands beside it, a lighter in his hand. PIOTR: What are you, Milaya Moya? Professor wants you thawed out back in Moscow, but... Life's too short to wait. PIOTR lights a blowtorch and uses it on the ice. The ice starts to melt and PIOTR can hear a rumbling and cracking. Something seems to move inside. A hand breaks through the ice, grabbing PIOTR by the throat. The creature growls ferociously. [SCENE_BREAK] Matt Smith Jenna-Louise Coleman "Cold War" By Mark Gatiss PRODUCER Denise Paul DIRECTOR Douglas Mackinnon [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SUBMARINE The creature is free and starts killing the crew as they get in his way. It fires a weapon and, in the enclosed space, breaches the integrity of the hull, causing water to enter. CREWMAN: Ah! Get away! Alarm! Alarm! INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM Water has found its way to the bridge. The crew fights to maintain control of the submarine. The alarm blares. STEPASHIN: Hold the bridge, port side! CAPTAIN: Evasive manoeuvres! ONEGIN monitors their descent. ONEGIN: Descending to 200 metres. CREWMAN: (over radio) We're under attack! ONEGIN: 210! The hull creaks against the pressure as they fall deeper. CAPTAIN: Bring her up, bring her up! ONEGIN: It's no good, sir! The TARDIS chooses this moment to materialize. DOCTOR: (opens door wearing sunglasses) Viva Las Vegas! The submarine tilts causing the DOCTOR to fall towards one of the control panels. CLARA, wearing a short dress, falls beside him with a scream. STEPASHIN: Intruder on the bridge! CAPTAIN: Who the hell are you? The DOCTOR puts the sunglasses in his pocket. CLARA: Not Vegas then! DOCTOR: No. No, this is much better! (pushes wer hair away from his face) CLARA: A sinking submarine? DOCTOR: A sinking Soviet submarine! STEPASHIN: Break out side arms! Restrain them! ONEGIN: 410. 420! Turbines still not responding! CAPTAIN: They've got to! DOCTOR: (uses the sonic) Ah! Sideways momentum! You've still got sideways momentum! CAPTAIN: What? DOCTOR: Your propellers work independently of the main turbines. You can't stop her going down but you can manoeuvre the sub laterally! Do it! STEPASHIN: Get these people off the bridge now! Two crewmen grab the DOCTOR'S arms. CLARA: Just listen to him, for God's sake! DOCTOR: Geographical anomaly to starboard - probably an underwater ridge. CAPTAIN: How do you know this? DOCTOR: Look, we have just a chance to stop the descent if we settle on it. Do it! ONEGIN: 600 metres, sir. 610... DOCTOR: Or this thing is going to implode! CAPTAIN: Lateral thrust to starboard - all propellers! ONEGIN: Sir? CAPTAIN: Now! STEPASHIN: You're going to let this madman give the orders? CAPTAIN: Lateral thrust! ONEGIN: Aye, sir! The DOCTOR has the sonic out again. ONEGIN: 660...680... EXT. SEA The submarine crashes onto the ridge. It slides a little before coming to a halt. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM Everyone breathes a little easier now that the submarine has come to a halt. The DOCTOR puts his sunglasses back on. ONEGIN: Descent arrested at...700 metres. CAPTAIN: It seems we owe you our lives - whoever you are. DOCTOR: I'll hold you to that. Might come in handy! STEPASHIN: Search them. Yes, I know, it's a woman. Now search them! The crewmen push the DOCTOR and CLARA back against a pole in the middle of the bridge. DOCTOR: Eh? Ooh! CLARA: Are we going to be ok? DOCTOR: Oh, yes. CLARA: Is that a lie? DOCTOR: Possibly. Very dangerous time, Clara. East and west standing on the brink of nuclear oblivion. Lots of itchy fingers on the button. CLARA: Isn't it always like that? DOCTOR: Sort of. But there are flash points and this is one - hair, shoulder pads, nukes. It's the '80s. Everything's bigger! As the DOCTOR speaks, his pockets are searched. Some of the items taken are a Barbie doll, a ball of twine, and the sonic screwdriver. DOCTOR: I'd like a receipt, please. (makes a grab for the sonic) CAPTAIN: (takes sonic) What is this? The sub creaks and tilts. CLARA falls away from the DOCTOR. DOCTOR: Clara! CLARA: Doctor! DOCTOR: Clara! To the DOCTOR'S right, the TARDIS starts dematerializing. DOCTOR: No, no, no, no! No, not now! CLARA falls under the water and the last thing she sees is the glowing sonic screwdriver. LATER CLARA comes to slowly to the muffled voices of the DOCTOR and the CAPTAIN arguing. One of the officers has given her the jacket from his uniform. DOCTOR: Captain, we didn't know the type of your ship out here... CAPTAIN: Yeah, well, that's till the rescue ship comes. DOCTOR: If it comes! CAPTAIN: Oh, the sinking is just a coincidence, is it? Who are you? CLARA stands as the CAPTAIN pushes the DOCTOR against the wall. DOCTOR: All right, Captain, all right. You know what? Just this once, no dissembling, no psychic paper, no pretending to be an Earth ambassador. Doctor - me and Clara, time travellers. Clara, you ok? CLARA: Think so. CAPTAIN: Time travellers? DOCTOR: We arrived here out of thin air! You saw it happen! PROFESSOR: I didn't. DOCTOR: Your problem, mate, not mine! CLARA: We were sinking... DOCTOR: Yes. CLARA: What happened? DOCTOR: We sank. CLARA: No, what happened to the TARDIS, I mean? DOCTOR: Never mind that. Listen... Captain, breath's precious down here. Let's not waste it, eh? CAPTAIN: You're right, maybe I can save a little oxygen by having you both shot? CLARA: (walks forward) What does it matter how we arrived? The important thing is to get... The DOCTOR points at CLARA while watching the CAPTAIN. He doesn't hear the growling and doesn't see everyone else look stunned. CLARA: ...out. DOCTOR: Exactly! Number one priority, not suffocating! (pats the CAPTAIN'S chest) The CAPTAIN sees what's behind the DOCTOR and backs away, releasing his hold on him. DOCTOR: Eh? Ah, oh, thank you! Finally, seeing sense! Now, what sort of state is the sub in? The DOCTOR turns to face everyone and we see the creature standing behind him. It is large and covered in some sort of armour. CLARA: Doctor! DOCTOR: What about the radio? Can we send a... CLARA: Doctor! DOCTOR: What?! Behind him, the creature hisses. DOCTOR: What is that? Gas? Could be gas! The DOCTOR finally sees everyone staring behind him and slowly turns around to see the creature. The creature growls again. DOCTOR: (nervously smiles and backs away) Ah... The creature takes a few steps forward. DOCTOR: It never rains but it pours. PROFESSOR: We were drilling for oil in the ice. I thought I'd found a mammoth. DOCTOR: It's not a mammoth. PROFESSOR: No. CLARA: (comes to stand by the DOCTOR) What is it, then? DOCTOR: It's an Ice Warrior. A native of the planet Mars. And we go way back. Way back. CAPTAIN: A Martian? You can't be serious. DOCTOR: I'm always serious. With days off. CLARA: (whispers) Doctor! DOCTOR: (whispers) Just keeping it light, Clara, they're scared. CLARA: They're scared? I'm scared! One of the officers comes up behind CLARA and aims his gun at the Ice Warrior. The Ice Warrior in turn lifts his arm containing his weapon. DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no, no! Please, please, wait! Just... there's no need for this! Just hear me out! You're confused, disorientated - of course you are. You've been lying dormant in the ice for, for how long? (snaps fingers) How long, Professor? PROFESSOR: By my reckoning, 5,000 years. DOCTOR: 5,000 years? That's a hell of a nap. Can't blame you if you've got out of the wrong side of bed. Nobody here wants to hurt you. (pushes down officer's gun) Please, just, why don't you tell us your name? CAPTAIN: What're you talking about? It has a name? DOCTOR: Of course it has a name - and a rank. This is a soldier. And it deserves our respect. CAPTAIN: This is madness. That is a monster! ICE WARRIOR: Skaldak. The DOCTOR points at SKALDAK and he turns to look at the CAPTAIN. He quickly turns back to SKALDAK, upset by what he's heard. He takes a couple of steps forward. DOCTOR: What did you say? SKALDAK: I am Grand Marshal Skaldak. DOCTOR: (briefly closes eyes) Oh, no. SKALDAK growls and shudders as electricity courses through him. He turns around to face his attacker. It is STEPASHIN. DOCTOR: You idiot! SKALDAK falls to the floor, unconscious. DOCTOR: You... idiot! Grand Marshal Skaldak. CLARA: You... know him? DOCTOR: Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste, vanquisher of the Phobos heresy. The greatest hero the proud Martian race has ever produced. CAPTAIN: So what do we do now? DOCTOR: Lock... him... up! INT. SUBMARINE, TORPEDO ROOM SKALDAK growls as he is chained to pipes running along the wall. He turns to ONEGIN. SKALDAK: Is it true? ONEGIN: True? SKALDAK: I slept for 5,000 years? ONEGIN: Er, that's what the Professor says. SKALDAK: 5,000 years! SKALDAK bows his head, ONEGIN and the other crewmembers leave. INT. SUBMARINE, COMMUNICATIONS The DOCTOR and CLARA are standing before the CAPTAIN. STEPASHIN and the PROFESSOR are there as well. DOCTOR: The Ice Warriors have a different creed, Clara. A different code. By his own standards, Skaldak is a hero. It was said his enemies honoured him so much they'd carve his name into their own flesh before they died. CLARA: Oh, yeah, very nice. He sounds lovely. CAPTAIN: An Ice Warrior? Explain. DOCTOR: There isn't time! CAPTAIN: Try me. DOCTOR: Martian reptile known as the Ice Warrior. When Mars turned cold they had to adapt. They're bio-mechanoid - cyborgs. Built survival armour so they could exist in the freezing cold of their home world, but an increase in temperature and the armour goes haywire. CLARA: Like with the cattle prod thing? DOCTOR: Like that cattle prod thing. Bit of a design flaw, I've always wondered why they never sorted it. Oh, look. You've got me telling you about them and I said there wasn't time! CLARA: Is he that dangerous? DOCTOR: This one is. INT. SUBMARINE, TORPEDO ROOM SKALDAK growls. SKALDAK: Find me, my brothers, if you are still out there. Find me. SKALDAK activates a transmitter in his armor. INT. SUBMARINE, COMMUNICATIONS The beeping from the transmitter can be heard through the PROFESSOR'S Walkman headphones. He slips them on his head. The DOCTOR notices. STEPASHIN: Why are we listening to this nonsense, Captain? These people are clearly enemy agents. CLARA: Eh? STEPASHIN: Spies, captain! CLARA: Pretty bad spies, mate. I don't even speak Russian! The DOCTOR tries to shush her but fails. STEPASHIN looks at her. STEPASHIN: What? CLARA: I don't... Am I speaking Russian? How come I'm speaking Russian? DOCTOR: Now? We have to do this now? CLARA: Are they speaking Russian? DOCTOR: Seriously? Now?! It's the TARDIS translation matrix. STEPASHIN: (turns back to the CAPTAIN) In my opinion, Comrade Captain, this creature is a Western weapon. CLARA: Are they? DOCTOR: Yes! They're Russians! CAPTAIN: A weapon? STEPASHIN: Survival suit. What is the alternative? The little green man from Mars? PROFESSOR: Correction. It's a big green man from Mars. The CAPTAIN chuckles. STEPASHIN: I do not appreciate your levity, Professor. PROFESSOR: Why does that not surprise me? Maybe they're telling the truth. STEPASHIN: The truth? PROFESSOR: Yes. A revolutionary concept, I know. STEPASHIN: It's essential that we inform Moscow of what we have found! CAPTAIN: The radio's out of action, in case you hadn't noticed, Stepashin. STEPASHIN: They have our last position. They will find us. When they do... CAPTAIN: Yes? STEPASHIN: Well, the cold war won't stay cold forever, Captain. CAPTAIN: For God's sake, Stepashin, you're like a stuck record! We have other priorities right now. I want you back on repairs immediately, we need to keep this ship alive. Dismissed. STEPASHIN stands in front of the DOCTOR and stares him down. STEPASHIN: Sir...? CAPTAIN: (stands) Dismissed, Stepashin! STEPASHIN leaves the room, brushing past CLARA as he goes. The DOCTOR steps forward to stand face-to-face with the CAPTAIN. He brushes imaginary lint from the CAPTAIN'S uniform. DOCTOR: All we needed to do was let Skaldak go and he'd have forgotten us. But you've attacked him. You declared war. "Harm one of us and you harm us all." That's the ancient Martian code. The beeping can be heard over the headphones. DOCTOR: You hear that? Skaldak's sent out a distress call. He'll bring down the fires of hell just for laying a glove on him! CAPTAIN: Unless you talk to it? DOCTOR: I'm the only one who can. CAPTAIN: No. Out of the question. We're not losing you. I'll do it. DOCTOR: What? CAPTAIN: You can talk to it through me. DOCTOR: Skaldak won't talk to you! You're an enemy soldier! CAPTAIN: How would he know that? DOCTOR: A soldier knows another soldier. He'll smell it on you! Smell it on you a mile off. CAPTAIN: And he wouldn't smell it on you, Doctor? DOCTOR: Just let me in there before it's too late. It can't be you or any of your men. CAPTAIN: Well, it can't be you. CLARA clears her throat. The DOCTOR and the CAPTAIN turn to face her. CLARA: Well, there really is only one choice, isn't there? I don't smell of anything... To my knowledge. DOCTOR: You? No! No! No way. You're not going in there alone, Clara. Absolutely not! No, no. Never! INT. SUBMARINE, TORPEDO ROOM CLARA opens the hatch to the torpedo room. She is has a headset with a microphone around her neck. She peers in and sees SKALDAK standing still. She steps inside, closes the door and puts on the headset. She inches into the room and picks up one of the lamps. She turns it on, looks up and smiles. CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH - - CUT TO: INT. SUBMARINE, COMMUNICATIONS The CAPTAIN is sitting in front of the microphone and screen. The DOCTOR walks up behind him. DOCTOR: With your permission? CAPTAIN: (stands) Be my guest. The DOCTOR sits and taps the microphone. DOCTOR: Ready, Clara? CLARA: Yeah. DOCTOR: (over headset) Ok. CLARA: Grand Marshal Skaldak. DOCTOR: The salute. (over radio) Do the salute like I showed you. CLARA puts the lamp between her legs and salutes SKALDAK by putting her right fist to her chest. SKALDAK hisses. She picks up the lamp again. CLARA: Ok? DOCTOR: Good. Good. Now, like we rehearsed. "Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste..." CLARA: "Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste. By the moons, I honour thee." DOCTOR: (over radio) Good. It's ok, Clara. Go closer. CLARA walks slowly towards SKALDAK. CLARA: Grand Marshal, I'm... We're sorry about this. DOCTOR: It's not what you deserve. CLARA: (over radio) It isn't what you deserve. The power goes out through the sub. CLARA: Oh! Oh, great. DOCTOR: Hey, it's ok, Clara. Keep going. CLARA puts down the now-dead lamp and turns on a flashlight. CLARA: You're a long way from home. DOCTOR: 5,000 years. CLARA: And 5,000 years adrift in time. Please, let us help you. You're not our enemy. SKALDAK: And yet, I am in chains. CLARA: Doctor, what do I say? SKALDAK: Yes, Doctor. What should she say? PROFESSOR: I think he wants to speak to the organ-grinder, not to the monkey. CLARA: I heard that. DOCTOR: You're restrained until we can trust each other, Skaldak. You would do exactly the same in my position and don't even think about using that sonic weapon. (over radio) Not in the torpedo room. SKALDAK: I was fleet commander of the Nix Tharsis. My daughter stood by me... It was her first taste of action. We sang the songs of the old times. The songs of the red snow. 5,000 years, now my daughter will be... dust! Only dust. DOCTOR: No, no, no, listen. Your people live on, Skaldak! Scattered all across the universe. And Mars will rise again, I promise you. Just, let me help you. CLARA slowly steps closer to SKALDAK. SKALDAK: I require no help. (over radio) There will be no help! The DOCTOR sees CLARA move closer. DOCTOR: Careful, Clara. CLARA: (over radio) I'm ok. DOCTOR: No, listen, Clara, don't get too close. CLARA: I'm ok! Doctor, something's wrong. DOCTOR: What? CLARA: Something's... CLARA reaches out and touches SKALDAK'S helmet. It falls backwards to reveal empty armor. She steps back with a gasp. CLARA: It's not there! It's gone! The front of the armor opens by itself to show advanced tech inside. DOCTOR: Gone? Gone? Gone, what do you mean, gone?! CLARA: It's got out! SKALDAK: It is time I learned the measure of my enemies. (over radio) And what this vessel is capable of. CLARA looks around nervously in the dim light. DOCTOR: No, no, no, Skaldak! SKALDAK: Harm one of us and you harm us all! By the moons, this I swear! DOCTOR: Clara! Get out of there! Get out! The DOCTOR gets up from the chair and rushes for the door. The CAPTAIN pulls his gun on the DOCTOR. DOCTOR: I've never seen one do this before! Actually, I've never seen one out of its armour before. The CAPTAIN lowers his gun and the DOCTOR runs for the door. PROFESSOR: Won't it be more vulnerable out of its shell? DOCTOR: (pauses in doorway) No, it will be more dangerous. (runs off) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SUBMARINE, TORPEDO ROOM CLARA spins around with the flashlight, trying to pinpoint SKALDAK'S location. INT. SUBMARINE CORRIDORS The DOCTOR runs to the torpedo room. DOCTOR: Clara! Clara! INT. SUBMARINE, TORPEDO ROOM CLARA hears SKALDAK. She sees the hatchway and runs over to try and open it. CLARA: Come on! CLARA grunts as she tries to push it open. It opens finally and CLARA falls. SKALDAK streaks past her out into the corridor. INT. SUBMARINE CORRIDORS SKALDAK rushes past the DOCTOR, the CAPTAIN and ONEGIN. The DOCTOR hurries to the hatchway. DOCTOR: Clara! Clara! Clara! Clara! (pulls CLARA out, hugging her) CLARA: I'm ok. Ha-ha, I'm ok, I'm ok! Where did he go? The PROFESSOR hears the beeping continue over his Walkman. CLARA: How did I do? Was I ok? DOCTOR: This wasn't a test, Clara. CLARA: I know but... DOCTOR: You were great. Yeah. CLARA: Really? DOCTOR: (puts a hand on her shoulder) Really. PROFESSOR: Doctor, the signal, it's stopped. The DOCTOR hurries over to the PROFESSOR and listens in. DOCTOR: Skaldak got no answer from his Martian brothers. Now he's given up hope. CAPTAIN: Hope of what? DOCTOR: Being rescued. He thinks he's been abandoned. He's got nothing left to lose. EXT. SEA More pieces of rock fall from the ridge under the submarine. INT. SUBMARINE CORRIDORS CAPTAIN: But what can he do stuck down here like the rest of us? How bad can it be? DOCTOR: This sub's stuffed with nuclear missiles, Zhukov. It's fat with them! What do you think Skaldak's going to do when he finds that out? "How bad can it be? How bad can it be?" It couldn't be any worse. EXT. SEA Rocks fall from the cliff above the sub, worsening it's already precarious position. INT. SUBMARINE CORRIDORS They are jostled about. One of the hatches between the hulls opens and water pours in. DOCTOR: Ok, spoke too soon. INT. SUBMARINE, MANEUVERING ROOM STEPASHIN is alone making repairs when he hears the familiar growling sound. He pulls out his pistol and slowly walks forward with his flashlight. STEPASHIN: Hello? Who's there? Who's there? He hears the growling again and looks between the banks of machinery. STEPASHIN: Who's there?! STEPASHIN hears a sound and turns around. Behind him, two clawed hands reach for him, one on his shoulder and one on his head. STEPASHIN shudders. STEPASHIN: What do you want with me? SKALDAK: Much. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM The CAPTAIN gives the crew a situation update. CAPTAIN: Comrades, you know our situation. The reactor is drowned, we are totally reliant on battery power and our air is running out. Rescue is unlikely but we still have a mission to fulfill. If the Doctor is right, then we are all that stands between this creature and the destruction of the world. Control of one missile is all he needs. We are expendable, comrades, our world is not. I know I can rely on every one of you to do his duty without fail. That is all. INT. SUBMARINE, MANEUVERING ROOM SKALDAK now has one hand on STEPASHIN'S head and one on his face. STEPASHIN: Listen to me. We both understand each other. This... This mewling time of peace, it doesn't suit us. We are both warriors... And... together... we can form an alliance. SKALDAK: An alliance? STEPASHIN: Yes... To win the cold war! SKALDAK: Cold war? STEPASHIN: Both sides are capable of completely obliterating the other. It's a state we call mutually assured destruction. SKALDAK: Mutually assured destruction? But this has not occurred? STEPASHIN: No. SKALDAK: Not yet. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM The DOCTOR is sitting at one of the banks of controls. CLARA sits next to him, facing the room. CLARA: Even if a missile did get launched, that wouldn't be... it, would it? DOCTOR: "It"? CLARA: End of the world. Game over. I mean, what if they fired one by accident, what would happen then? DOCTOR: I told you, Clara. Earth is like a storm waiting to break, right now. Both sides baring their teeth, talking up war. It would only take one tiny spark. CLARA: But the world didn't end in 1983, did it? Or I wouldn't be here. DOCTOR: New. History's in flux. It can be changed. Re-written. (stands and walks over to CAPTAIN) How many of us are left? CAPTAIN: 12 - and we can't find Stepashin. DOCTOR: We split up and comb the sub. One team stays here to guard the bridge. CAPTAIN: That's it? That's the plan? DOCTOR: Well, it's either that or we stay here and wait for him to kill us. CAPTAIN: Ok. (walks away) CLARA: Is it true you've never seen one outside of its shell suit? DOCTOR: "Shell suit"? CLARA shrugs. DOCTOR: Clara! For an Ice Warrior to leave its armour is the gravest dishonour. Skaldak is desperate, he is deadly and we have got to find him. PROFESSOR: Will this help? (holds up sonic) DOCTOR: Ah! You saved it! (takes sonic) PROFESSOR: No, no, it was on the floor with this. (holds up doll) DOCTOR: Ah! (takes doll and kisses it) Ah, Professor, I could kiss you! PROFESSOR: If you insist. DOCTOR: Later. (happily uses sonic) INT. SUBMARINE CORRIDORS ONEGIN and BELEVICH are paired together in the search. ONEGIN: Do you think it's true, sir? A Martian?! BELEVICH: (shakes head) I don't know what to think. ONEGIN and BELEVICH continue on. In a different section of corridor, CLARA is with the DOCTOR and the PROFESSOR. The DOCTOR scans with the sonic. CLARA: So, why have you got a cattle prod on a submarine? PROFESSOR: Polar bears. CLARA: Ah, right. PROFESSOR: We run across them when we're drilling. Can be quite nasty, you know? CLARA: I'd swap one for an Ice Warrior any day. Cuddlier! PROFESSOR: Courage, my dear. The DOCTOR flicks a switch and an alarm start blaring. He tries to shut it off. PROFESSOR: I always sing a song. CLARA: What? PROFESSOR: To keep my spirits up. CLARA: Yes, that would work... if this was Pinocchio. The DOCTOR is still trying to stop the alarm. PROFESSOR: D'you know Hungry like the Wolf? CLARA: (stops and looks at him) What? PROFESSOR: Duran Duran - one of my favourites. Come on! CLARA: I'm not singing a song! The DOCTOR opens a hatch in the wall with a rush of air. He sticks his head in and uses the sonic. There is an eerie groaning that all of them notice. The DOCTOR pulls his head out. CLARA: What was that? DOCTOR: Pressure. Just pressure. We're 700 metres down, remember? PROFESSOR: Don't worry about it. Think of something else. (sings) Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da I am hungry like the wolf. CLARA: I'm not singing! PROFESSOR: Don't you know it? CLARA: 'Course I know it. We do it at karaoke. The odd hen night. PROFESSOR: "Karaoke"? "Hen night"? You speak excellent Russian, my dear, but sometimes I don't understand a word you're talking about. CLARA smiles and continues on. In another section of the submarine, ONEGIN and BELEVICH continue their search. ONEGIN: If we get out of here, we'll be bloody heroes! BELEVICH: If we get out of here. (takes a few steps ahead of ONEGIN) ONEGIN: The first people in the world to discover a genuine, living... SKALDAK'S hands reach down from the ceiling, grip ONEGIN by the head and pull him up. BELEVICH: Alien? I don't know. You hear stories, don't you? Stories about the things the Kremlin don't want us to... (turns around and sees he's alone) Onegin? Onegin? CUT TO CORRIDOR WITH DOCTOR, CLARA and PROFESSOR They hear snarls, growls and screams. The DOCTOR runs towards the sounds and the others follow. The DOCTOR is the first to find the bodies and kneels beside one. The look on his face tells us how horrible the scene is. CLARA and the PROFESSOR aren't too far behind him. CLARA is shocked by the sight. PROFESSOR: Good God! Torn apart. It's a monster. A savage! DOCTOR: No, Professor. Not savage, forensic. Well, he's... dismantled them. Skaldak's learning. Learning all about you. Your strengths... Your weaknesses... (scans with sonic and stands) Come on! (dashes from the room) The PROFESSOR follows the DOCTOR. CLARA can't seem to look away. The PROFESSOR notices and takes her arm, pulling her away. The DOCTOR hurries down another corridor, the sonic held out in front of him. He stops. DOCTOR: Stay here. CLARA: Ok. DOCTOR: Stay here! Don't argue. (starts up ladder) CLARA: I'm not! DOCTOR: (pauses) Right. Good! (continues) PROFESSOR: It's a young man's game, all this dashing about! (sits on lip of door) Clara, what is it? CLARA: I was doing ok. I mean, I went in there and did the scary stuff, didn't I? I went in there with the Ice Warrior and it went ok. Actually, it went just about as badly as it could have done but that wasn't my fault. PROFESSOR: Not at all. CLARA: (leans against ladder) So, I'm happy about that. PROFESSOR: Yes! CLARA: (softly) Chuffed. PROFESSOR: And so you should be. So what's the matter? CLARA: Seeing those bodies back there... It's all got very... real. Are we going to make it? PROFESSOR: Yes, of course. The metal groans. CUT TO ANOTHER CORRIDOR WITH CAPTAIN The CAPTAIN is with two other crewmen, rifles at the ready. They hear growling and the CAPTAIN sees something pass by a grate. CAPTAIN: It's in the walls! INT. SUBMARINE, MANEUVERING ROOM The DOCTOR opens the door to the room and skids to a stop when he sees the body. He kneels down and picks up the wallet lying on the floor. Inside is a photo of a woman and his ID card. It is smeared with blood. DOCTOR: Oh, Stepashin. He hears metal rattling and retreating footsteps. He looks up and scans with the sonic. He runs along, still looking up. DOCTOR: Oh... oh... oh! Fast. He's fast... The DOCTOR continues on his way. INT. SUBMARINE CORRIDORS CLARA hears an eerie groaning. CLARA: What was that? PROFESSOR: The Doctor told you, it's just the boat settling. Tell me about yourself. What do you like doing? Clara? CLARA hears some metallic rattling and looks around. PROFESSOR: Clara? CLARA: (distracted) Stuff. You know, stuff. PROFESSOR: "Stuff"? Very enlightening. And the Doctor, what he said, is it true? You're... from another time... from our future? Clara? CLARA: Yes. PROFESSOR: (stands) Tell me what happens. CLARA: I can't. PROFESSOR: Well, I need to know. CLARA: I'm not allowed. PROFESSOR: No, please. CLARA: I can't! PROFESSOR: Ultravox, do they split up? CLARA: (laughs) Funny. You're funny! SKALDAK'S hands reach down and grip CLARA'S head. PROFESSOR: Let her go! The PROFESSOR fires his pistol at SKALDAK who lets go of CLARA and pulls back into the ceiling. CLARA breathes deeply. PROFESSOR: (grins) See... I don't just like Western music! (twirls gun) SKALDAK reaches down and grabs the PROFESSOR as he did CLARA. The DOCTOR comes running up behind CLARA. CLARA: No, please, don't hurt him. Please! The DOCTOR looks up and all that can be seen of SKALDAK is his red eyes. SKALDAK: You attacked me! Martian law decree's that the people of this planet are forfeit. I now have all the information I require. It will take only one missile to begin the process. To end this cold war. DOCTOR: Grand Marshal, there is no need for this. Listen to me... SKALDAK: My distress call has not been answered. It will never be answered. My people are dead. They are dust. There is nothing left for me except my revenge. (growls) A beeping starts. INT. SUBMARINE, TORPEDO ROOM SKALDAK'S armor closes. INT. SUBMARINE CORRIDORS DOCTOR: There is something left for you, Skaldak. Mercy. SKALDAK: Mercy? The CAPTAIN arrives, his gun aimed at SKALDAK. CAPTAIN: You must wear that armour for a reason, my friend. Let's see, shall we? DOCTOR: (grabs the rifle barrel, pushing it down) No, Captain, wait! CAPTAIN: I will do whatever it takes to defend my world, Doctor. DOCTOR: (holds hands in placating gesture) Yes, great, fine, good, but we're getting somewhere here. We're negotiating, "jaw-jaw not war-war". PROFESSOR: Churchill? DOCTOR: (points) Churchill. CAPTAIN: Very well, we'll negotiate but from a position of strength. (aims gun at SKALDAK) SKALDAK: Excellent tactical thinking. My congratulations, Captain. CAPTAIN: Thank you. SKALDAK: Unfortunately, your position is not, perhaps, as strong as you might hope. There is a low growl and the DOCTOR looks around. DOCTOR: What do you mean? The armor arrives, chains still trailing from the ankles and wrapped around the torso. SKALDAK streaks over to the suit and it closes around him. DOCTOR: He summoned the armour. CLARA: How did it do that? DOCTOR: Sonic tech, Clara. The song of the Ice Warrior! The crewman who had been with the CAPTAIN comes forward and starts shooting at SKALDAK as the Ice Warrior turns and walks away. The DOCTOR grabs the crewman and stops him shooting. SKALDAK: My world is dead but now there will be a second red planet! Red with the blood of humanity! DOCTOR: Skaldak! Skaldak! Wait! The DOCTOR runs after SKALDAK. The others follow. SKALDAK makes his way through the corridors, crewmen shooting at him. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM Wires extend from SKALDAK'S fingers and enter the openings in the control panels. The key ports switch and the lights turn red. EXT. SEA Two bays open exposing nuclear missiles. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM The DOCTOR rushes in followed by the CAPTAIN. DOCTOR: No! Skaldak! Wait! Wait! Wait! CAPTAIN: (aims gun at SKALDAK) He's arming the warheads! DOCTOR: Where is the honour in condemning billions of innocents to death? 5,000 years ago Mars was the centre of a vast empire. The jewel of this solar system. The people of earth had only just begun to leave their caves. Five thousand years isn't such a long time, they're still just frightened children. Still primitive. Who are you to judge them? The wires retract and SKALDAK turns to face the DOCTOR. SKALDAK: I am Skaldak! This planet is forfeit under Martian law. DOCTOR: Then teach them! Teach them, Grand Marshal! Show them another way! Show them there is honour in mercy. Is this how you want history to remember you? Grand Marshal Skaldak - Destroyer of Earth? CLARA catches up and enters the room. DOCTOR: Because that's what you'll be if you send those missiles. Not a soldier, a murderer. Five billion lives extinguished. SKALDAK grunts and turns around. His hand hovers over the launch button. DOCTOR: No chance for goodbyes. A world snuffed out like a candle flame! All right, all right, Skaldak, you leave me no choice. I'm a Time Lord, Skaldak. I know a bit about sonic technology myself. The DOCTOR holds the sonic screwdriver out towards SKALDAK. SKALDAK: A threat? You threaten me, Doctor? DOCTOR: No. No, not you... all of us. I will blow this sub up before you can even reach that button, Grand Marshal. Blow us all to oblivion. SKALDAK: You would sacrifice yourself? DOCTOR: In a heartbeat. (holds the sonic upwards, turns it on and it glows red) SKALDAK: Mutually assured destruction! SKALDAK turns around and puts his hand above the button. DOCTOR: Look into my eye, Skaldak. Look into my eyes and tell me you're capable of doing this. Huh? Can you do that? Dare you do that? Look into my eyes, Skaldak, come on! Face-to-face. SKALDAK: (turns around) Well, Doctor, (the helmet opens and we see his face) which of us shall blink first? The DOCTOR is stunned by his first view of an Ice Warrior without armour. CLARA: Why did you hesitate? Back there, in the dark. You were going to kill this man, remember? I begged you not to and you listened. Why show compassion then, Skaldak, and not now? (walks forward) The Doctor's right. Billions will die... Mothers, sons, fathers... daughters. Remember that last battle, Skaldak? Your daughter... You sang the songs... SKALDAK: Of the red snows. There is a crashing sound and the submarine shakes. CLARA: What's happening?! EXT. SEA There is an electronic whirring and a beam comes down to encapsulate the submarine. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM The CAPTAIN stands there in the center of the room. EXT. NORTH POLE, DAY A spaceship hovers in the sky above the submarine. It is the source of the beam. EXT. SEA The beam contains the submarine. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM SKALDAK: My people live! They have come for me! EXT. SEA The beam raises the submarine. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM The CAPTAIN watches the depth gauge. CAPTAIN: We're rising. We're rising! PROFESSOR: 600 metres... 550... EXT. NORTH POLE, DAY The submarine breaks through the ice. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM DOCTOR: We've surfaced. Your people have saved us. SKALDAK: Saved me, not you. DOCTOR: Just go, Skaldak, please. Please... go in peace. SKALDAK is transported onto the ship. CLARA: We did it! We did it! DOCTOR: (goes to controls) No. No, no, no, no, no! It's still armed. A single pulse from that ship... I'll destroy us if I have to. (holds sonic against forehead) I will destroy us if I have to. Show mercy, Skaldak. Come on, show mercy. CLARA: (sings nervously) Da-da-da-dah I'm lost and I'm found and I'm hungry like the wolf. A klaxon sounds as the key ports switch back and the lights turn green. EXT. NORTH POLE, DAY The missile hatches close. INT. SUBMARINE, CONTROL ROOM The DOCTOR shuts off the sonic and wipes a hand across his forehead. DOCTOR: Now we're safe. CLARA walks over to the DOCTOR and hugs him tightly. She ends the hug and clears her throat. CLARA: Saved the world then? DOCTOR: Yeah. CLARA: That's what we do. DOCTOR: Yeah. EXT. NORTH POLE, DAY The hatch opens and the CAPTAIN steps out onto the tower followed by the DOCTOR, CLARA and the PROFESSOR. They look up at the ship. The DOCTOR whistles in appreciation. CLARA: The TARDIS! Where's the TARDIS? You never explained. DOCTOR: (embarrassed) Oh, well, don't worry about that. CLARA: Stop saying that! Where is it? DOCTOR: Yeah, well, I wasn't to know, was I? CLARA: Know what? DOCTOR: I've been tinkering... breaking her in. I'm allowed. CLARA: What did you do? DOCTOR: (mumbles) I reset the HADS! CLARA: Huh? DOCTOR: I reset (mumbles) the HADS! CLARA: The what? DOCTOR: The HADS! The Hostile Action Displacement System! If the TARDIS comes under attack - gunfire, time-winds, the...sea - it... relocates. CLARA: Oh, Doctor. DOCTOR: Haven't used it in donkey's years. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, never mind, it's bound to turn up somewhere! (the sonic buzzes) Oh! Ha, see, right on cue! (takes sonic from pocket) Brilliant! CLARA: Brilliant! DOCTOR: The TARDIS is at the Pole! CLARA: Not far then. (heads for the hatch) DOCTOR: The South Pole. CLARA: (stops) Ah. DOCTOR: (to CAPTAIN) Could we have a lift? The CAPTAIN and CLARA laugh and the PROFESSOR smiles as they go back inside. The DOCTOR mocks them. After they've gone, he watches the spaceship. He salutes and it flies away.	Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who tries to convince Skaldak that he and Clara are peaceful? A: Las Vegas; Q: Where did the Doctor and Clara attempt to land in? A: the TARDIS; Q: What lands in a Russian submarine in 1983? A: the Doctor's surprise; Q: What was the Doctor's reaction to finding an Ice Warrior? A: the famed Grand Marshal Skaldak; Q: Who is the Ice Warrior that the Doctor finds? A: 5000 years; Q: How long had it taken for Skaldak to be thawed out of the ice? A: Captain Zhukov; Q: Who has Skaldak chained up to prevent damage to the submarine? A: Martian Law; Q: What law does Skaldak believe humanity has declared war on the Ice Warriors? A: his armour; Q: What does Skaldak exit to begin forensic analysis of human bodies? A: Lieutenant Stepashin; Q: Who did Skaldak trick into revealing the Cold War? A: an alternate timeline; Q: What does Skaldak plan to start by firing off a single nuclear missile? A: innocent lives; Q: What does Clara convince Skaldak that it would be wrong to end? A: an Ice Warrior ship; Q: What rescues Skaldak? A: danger; Q: What does the Doctor's sonic screwdriver tell him the Hostile Action Displacement System had activated and sent the TARDIS to the South Pole to get out of? A: the Doctor's sonic screwdriver; Q: What device tells the Doctor that the Hostile Action Displacement System had been activated? Summary: The Doctor and Clara attempt to land in Las Vegas ; however, the TARDIS instead lands in a Russian submarine in 1983 and takes off without them. To the Doctor's surprise, he finds an Ice Warrior , the famed Grand Marshal Skaldak, who had been thawed out of the ice after 5000 years. However, Captain Zhukov is distrustful of both the Doctor and Clara and has Skaldak chained up to prevent damage to the submarine. By Martian Law, Skaldak now considers that humanity as a whole has declared war on the Ice Warriors. The Doctor tries to convince Skaldak that he and Clara are peaceful; when Skaldak believes no other Ice Warriors are left, he exits his armour to begin forensic analysis of human bodies. Skaldak tricks Lieutenant Stepashin into revealing the circumstances of the Cold War, and prepares to start an alternate timeline by firing off a single nuclear missile. However, Clara manages to convince him that it would be wrong to end innocent lives, just as an Ice Warrior ship arrives and retrieves Skaldak. Out of danger, the Doctor's sonic screwdriver tells him the Hostile Action Displacement System had been activated and sent the TARDIS to the South Pole.
ACT ONE Scene One - KACL Frasier is doing his show. Frasier: You're on KACL with Dr. Frasier Crane. We have time for one more call. [pushes button] Hello, Gretchen. I'm listening. Gretchen: [v.o.; German accent] Well, you see, Dr. Crane, my husband is a fencing instructor, and lately he spends all his time with his wealthy new student. He's with her day and night, and I'm afraid there's some... bumsen going on. Frasier: Well, is this just a suspicion or do you have any evidence? Gretchen: No, it's just a feeling. Frasier: Well, unfortunately, in these matters there's no simple way to know for sure. Roz: Yes, there is. Frasier: Well, Gretchen, you're in luck. It just so happens that we have in our studio today one of the world's five leading bumsen experts. Roz: If you want to know if a man is cheating, you offer him two choices for dinner: one that's rich and fattening, and one that's light and sensible. If he picks the one that's calorie-packed, he doesn't mind turning into a bloated pig, which means he's happily married and you're in the clear. Frasier: You know, Roz, when I hear advice like that, it makes me wish there was a law against two or more women gathering at a water cooler. Now, Gretchen- Gretchen: Does it really work, Roz? Roz: Oh, trust me. If he chooses the diet plate, it means he's staying in shape for his main squeeze, and you should get yourself a lawyer who can sue the sweat off a racehorse. Gretchen: I'm going to do it. Thank you for your help, Roz! Oh, and you, too, Dr. Crane. [hangs up] Frasier: Don't mention it. Well, "Dr. Crane and Friends" will be back tomorrow. Thanks for listening, Seattle. He goes off the air. Roz comes into his booth. Roz: I know, you hate it when I butt into your show. Frasier: And yet... Roz: You're gonna forgive me when you find out the wonderful thing I'm doing for you. See, there's this great woman who lives in my building. She's beautiful, and funny- Frasier: Just stop right there, Roz. I do not go out on blind dates. They're demeaning and a hideous waste of time. No, thank you, no. Roz: It's not for you, it's for your father. Frasier: Oh! What time should he pick her up? Roz: Wait a minute. Blind dates are O.K. for your father, but not for you? Frasier: Yes! That also goes for games with balls, domestic beer, and giant trucks that roll over smaller ones. Frasier leaves. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment Martin and Niles are sitting at the dinner table with a large wooden model ship kit. Martin keeps trying to pick up pieces, but Niles bats his hand away as he reads the instructions. Niles: [reading] "So you want to build a three-masted schooner. Step One: before assembly, take inventory of all parts." Martin: We don't need to read all these instructions. Niles: Yes, we do. It says right here in boldface, "Read all instructions." Martin: Just pass me the right side of the hull, will ya? Niles: You'll get your hands on that piece at step sixteen and not a moment sooner. Martin: Can we get started here? Niles: Oh, all right, Dad. [reading] "So you want to build a three- masted schooner." Martin rolls his eyes. Eddie picks up one of the masts in his teeth. Niles: [grabs it away] Give me that! You'll put your eye out. Daphne comes in with a potted plant. Daphne: Oh, look at that! What a beautiful ship. I bet you'll have fun building that. Martin: Not as much fun as we're having reading about it. Daphne: Did I ever mention one of my ancestors was a mutineer on the H.M.S. Bounty? Martin: No kidding. Daphne: Yeah well, from what we could gather, he made it safely to Pitcairn Island, where he was quite fruitful and multiplied. You know, for all I know there's some girl who looks exactly like me running around the South Seas, frolicking in the surf, all brown-skinned and bare-breasted- Niles snaps the mast in two, sending the pieces flying over the table. Martin and Daphne look at him. Niles: So you want to build a two-masted schooner. Daphne: Schooner? I thought it was a frigate. Niles: No, no, a frigate has a fore-and-aft mainsail. Daphne: No, no, that's a brigantine. Niles: Oh, you're right. Well, then what's a frigate? Martin: That's when you just don't give a damn anymore. Martin goes to the kitchen for a beer. Frasier comes in the door. Frasier: Hello, all. [everyone ad-libs hellos] Niles, are you going to be spending the evening with us? Niles: Yes. As much as my Maris misses me, she feels family comes first. When she saw this model, she felt it was the perfect project for me to share with Dad. Frasier: She wanted you out of the house, huh? Niles: Like a musty smell. Martin comes back with a beer. Frasier: Oh, Dad, I have a proposal for you. Seems there's a woman in Roz's building who would like to go out with you. Roz says that she's got a wonderful personality. Martin: Oh. I guess that means I'm the pretty one. Frasier: Just hear me out. She likes sports, she likes beer... Martin: Yeah, so does Duke. Frasier: Yes, but Duke won't kiss you good night at the end of the evening. Martin: He will if he's had a few. Look, tell Roz thanks, but no thanks. Daphne: Well, I think you're making a mistake. Trying new things is what keeps us all young and vibrant. Niles: You know, you're right, Daphne. For weeks, all Maris did for excitement was float in her sensory deprivation tank. But now, she's taken up fencing, and I've never seen her more vital. [Frasier's ears prick up at this.] She stays up late into the evening, working with her instructor. Frasier: Maris has a fencing instructor? Niles: Yes. Gunnar was the Bavarian champion three years running. Frasier: He's Bavarian? Niles: You're full of questions I've already given answers to. Frasier: Am I? Niles: He doesn't speak a word of English, so Maris gets to brush up on her German while she parries and thrusts. Frasier: Maris is learning German, huh? [aside to Frasier] Just when you thought she couldn't get any cuddlier. Niles: Dad, did you take the spanking aft? Martin: Yeah, I pre-glued it for you. Niles holds up his hand. There's a piece of the model stuck to it. Niles: Good job. Daphne: Oh, not to worry. This sort of thing used to happen to my brothers all the time. I can get that off with some nail- polish remover. Come with me. She leads him to the powder room. Niles: So your brothers built a lot of models? Daphne: No, actually, I suspect they just sniffed a lot of glue. Niles: You know that can cause brain damage. Daphne: Well, then, that confirms it. They go into the powder room and close the door. Frasier: Dad! Dad! I have to talk to you about Niles. I got a call on the show today from a German woman whose husband is a fencing instructor who she suspects is having an affair with his wealthy new client. Martin: And? Frasier: Don't you find that the least bit incriminating? Martin: No, I find it a coincidence. Seattle's a big city, I'm sure there's a bunch of German fencing instructors, each one with dozens of students. Frasier: Yes, but are they wealthy students? Martin: No, they're inner-city kids trying to work their way out of the ghetto with nothing but a foil and a dream. Frasier: Yes, well, in the midst of that slag heap of sarcasm, I suppose there may be a kernel of truth. I guess I could just be letting my imagination run away with me. Martin: Ah, just trust me, forget it. Come on, help me put this model together. Frasier: God, I remember how Niles used to love these models. Oh God, remember that Christmas Mom got him the "Visible Man and Woman?" He had to glue all of the internal organs in the right place. Martin: All I remember is you two fighting over it. Daphne comes out of the powder room. Frasier: Yes, well, Niles was getting on my nerves, so I had to go in and steal his ovaries. Daphne: Now there's a conversation I'm glad I missed the beginning of! [SCENE_BREAK] BAVARIANS AT THE GATE Scene Three - KACL Roz is setting up Frasier's booth. Frasier comes in. Frasier: Sorry I'm late, Roz. Roz: Oh, hey, Frasier. Did you get a chance to ask your dad about the date? Frasier: Yes. He's not interested. Roz: Oh, darn it. I already got her hopes up. I don't suppose you'd consider going out with her. Frasier: I'm sorry. I've had my quota of pity-dates. Roz: Yes, but this time you wouldn't be the one being pitied. He gives her a "very funny" look. She goes into her booth. Roz: Oh, listen, we have a great call to start the show off with. Get this: the guy on line three just found out that his girlfriend is his long-lost sister. Frasier: Wow! Roz: Oh yeah, and that German woman called back about her husband's affair. Frasier: Gretchen! Roz: Yeah. She closes the door to her booth. Frasier: [through intercom] I want her first! Roz: Are you kidding? What am I supposed to say to the guy who's dating his sister? Frasier: Oh, just tell him to hang on and relax, we've all been there! Roz, somewhat bewildered, cues him. Frasier: Hello, Seattle, this is Dr. Frasier Crane on KACL. Let's get right to the phones. Roz? Roz: We have Gretchen calling back about her husband's affair. She thinks she has more evidence. Frasier: Hello, Gretchen. I'm listening. Gretchen: [v.o.; crying] Oh, Dr. Crane! I took Roz's advice and gave my husband two choices for dinner, and he picked the diet plate! Frasier: But that is no proof that he's having an affair! Gretchen: But Gunnar has a healthy appetite! Frasier: No, no, the proof is-is phone bills, uh, credit card receipts... Gunnar? Gretchen: I also found a love letter he wrote to her. Frasier: And how long were you going to keep that a secret, Gretchen? Come on, work with me here! What does it say? Gretchen: "Mein kleine leberknodel..." Frasier: I-I'm sorry, I don't speak German. [N.B. It is unusual for a confirmed Freudian such as Frasier to not have read Freud in the original German. In fact, later episodes take it for granted that Frasier does in fact speak German.] Gretchen: It means, "my little liver dumpling." That used to be his pet name for me. Frasier: Well, maybe he's writing to you. Gretchen: It can't be me. He says he loves her beautiful little body, as thin as his sword, and her skin as white as bratwurst, and that she's his NichteinmenschlichFrau. Frasier: What is that? Gretchen: I don't know if there's a word in English. The closest translation is, "not quite human woman." Frasier covers the microphone, a look of horror on his face. Frasier: Oh dear God, it is her! Gretchen: What should I do? Frasier: I don't know! I-I need time to think! Let's go to commercial! He goes to commercial. Roz plugs a cart in. END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO Scene Four - KACL Roz cues Frasier that the commercial is over. Frasier: Hello, we're back. Gretchen, I have considered your problem, and I believe that what you must do is confront your husband, and insist that he end this affair. Gretchen: But what if he won't? Frasier: But he has to! Look, innocent people are being hurt! Remind him of how much he means to you, of all your years together. Are there children? Gretchen: No. Frasier: Damn! Still, still, it must be a clean break, he must never, ever see this woman again, not even accidentally! Gretchen: We never had these problems back home. Frasier: Well, maybe that's where you should return, to the loving bosom of Bavaria. Gretchen: How did you know we were from Bavaria? Frasier: Well... you see, I'm a master of dialects. I noticed there was a glottal quality to the occlusion of your diphthongs. Gretchen: But I'm originally from Austria. Frasier: Look, do you want to split hairs, or do you want your husband back? Uh, Gretchen, I'm afraid it's time for another commercial. Roz: Another commercial? Frasier: Yes, Roz, another commercial! He goes off the air. Roz plugs in another cart and comes into his booth. Roz: What is going on? Frasier: What makes you think there's something going on? Roz: Well, when the person giving advice sounds crazier than the person calling in, I think there's something going on. Frasier: Nothing's going on. Roz: Wait a minute. You know who the liver dumpling is, don't you? Frasier: All right, yes! But it's nobody you know. Her husband's a good friend of mine. Oh, how can I tell him, he'll be crushed. Roz: Well, you don't tell the person being cheated on, you confront the person doing the cheating. Didn't they teach you anything at Harvard? Frasier: I-I can't do that! Roz: It's easy, Frasier. You just tell her you know she's been mattress-surfing with some other guy, and if she doesn't knock it off, you'll tell her husband. Frasier: It's-it's not that easy, you don't know this woman! She doesn't deal with confrontation very well. I once questioned the political correctness of her serving veal. An hour later, we found her locked in the garage with the engine running on her golf cart! Roz: Whoa, it's Maris. [SCENE_BREAK] IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING, IT'S A SENSORY DEPRIVATION TANK Scene Five - Niles's Bathroom Marta (Niles's 78-year-old Guatemalan maid) leads Frasier into the bathroom in Niles's mansion. The room is dominated by a huge rectangular steel tank with a hatch on the side. Marta: Missy Crane esta en la caja. Frasier: "Mrs. Crane is in the box." Marta: En la caja. Marta leaves. Frasier: Maris? This is Frasier. I am tired of waiting for you to come out of this ridiculous deprivation tank. Now, listen. We've got to talk, we've got to talk about Niles. Silence. Frasier: Will you come out of there! Look, Maris... I know that you're having an affair. But I care for you both, and I want to help you do what's best for your marriage. Silence. Frasier: Oh, will you stop this! Just come out of this box! All right, all right! I'm going to open this door! I'm going to count to three and I don't care if you're naked! [reconsiders] I'm going to count to ten! Oh, the hell with this! All right! Frasier yanks the hatch open - and gasps. Sitting in the tank is Niles - naked, dripping wet, and speechless with horror. Marta comes back with fresh towels. Frasier: Niles... I'm so sorry. Marta, you said Mrs. Crane was in the box! Marta: [looking] Si, Missy Crane. Frasier: No, that's MISTER Crane! Niles: Marta has trouble with her pronouns. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Six - Frasier's Apartment It's evening. Frasier and Martin are pacing the apartment. Martin: I'm worried about him. He's always been such a sensitive kid. Frasier: You're right, Dad, and you know what? Maybe it's wise for us not to let on how worried we are. It'll only add to his anxiety. Martin: Yeah, you're right. If we coddle him, he'll think this is the end of the world. The doorbell rings. Frasier and Martin exchange a look, then open the door to Niles. Frasier: [cheerful] Hello, Niles! Martin: [cheerful] Hi, son! Niles breaks down and holds out his arms. Immediately, Frasier and Martin are hugging him, patting him on the back, saying "It's OK," "It's not the end of the world," "Everything's gonna be all right," and so on. They steer him over to the couch. Eddie jumps up into his lap and starts licking his face. Martin: Frasier, pour him a glass of brandy. Frasier: Yes, yes, yes. Oh God, you know, I'm all out of brandy. I have a marvelous sherry here, a couple of fine ports... oh, and this lovely new bottle of twelve-year-old unblended scotch. It's a little bit peaty- Martin: Just pour him a drink! [to Niles] What happened, son? Niles: Oh, nothing. Frasier: Nothing? Well, when I left, you were about to storm up to Maris's bedroom and have it out with her. Niles: I know. And with every step I thought of another question to fire at her, but when I reached her door, I froze. I turned on my heel, walked out of the house, got in the car and just started driving. Frasier: Well, I'm glad you ended up here. [hands him a glass of Scotch with a lemon wedge] Niles: Actually, I ended up at the Oregon border check. I had fruit in the car, so I had to turn back. What am I going to do? She's my whole life. Frasier: You know, Niles, Maris may have temporarily succumbed to Gunnar's Teutonic charms, but in the end I'm sure she'll choose the man who's intelligent and sensitive. Niles: Oh, Frasier. That's just something we used to tell ourselves in chess club. The truth is, women don't want men like us - men of intellect. They want men of action - men like Gunnar. Frasier: Yes, well, you know this has nothing to do with Gunnar and everything to do with you and Maris. Do you remember the advice you gave me when I was having my problems with Lilith? You said that I should talk to her and find out why she did what she did. Niles: It's one thing to give advice, it's another to take it. Martin: Hey, hey, Fras, didn't you and Lilith once write a bunch of articles together about the keys to a successful marriage? Frasier: Yes, we did. Martin: Well, maybe it'd help your brother to read 'em right now. Frasier: Oh. Oh, well, all right. I've only got half of them, though. Lilith got the rest in the divorce settlement. Frasier runs off to his room. Martin: Now, listen, now that we've gotten rid of the foghorn, here's the way you're gonna handle this. Now, you remember something like this happened between your mother and I, right? Niles: Right. Martin: Right. Well, the way I handled it was I took it up with the other man. I told him if it ever happened again, he'd be the other woman! Now there was a lot more that we had to do to keep our marriage together, but at least that let your mother know how much I cared for her. Niles: What would you have me do? Grab Gunnar by the scruff of the neck and escort him out of my house? Martin: Well, why not? Niles: Well, I've been fantasizing about it! It's just not me, though... although, maybe it should be me! No, no, I've got to speak to Maris eventually... although, if I do it your way, I'm going at it from a position of strength. I'm gonna do it, Dad! Maris has fencing practice tonight, but it's Gunnar who's going to be taught a lesson! Martin: That's my boy! You're sure you're up to it? Niles: Yes, I am! [he guns down the rest of his drink] I'm pumped, I'm psyched, and I'm fairly certain I just swallowed an entire twist of lemon! Niles clears his throat and leaves. Frasier comes back with a sheaf of papers. Frasier: Did I just hear Niles leave? Martin: Yeah, he went to straighten out that Gunnar guy! Frasier: My God, Dad, how could you let him go? [grabs his coat] What if this Gunnar guy doesn't want to get straightened out? What if he wants to fight? Martin: Well, that's all right, it's still better this way! At least he's found his manhood. Daphne comes out of the hallway. Martin: I tell ya, I'd be happy if Niles traded in a couple of teeth for his cojones! Frasier leaves. Daphne: I've got to stop walking in on the middle of conversations! [SCENE_BREAK] GET OUT YOUR DICTIONARIES Scene Seven - Niles's Mansion In the living room of Niles's house, Gunnar - a tall, thin-faced German - is on the couch, getting his fencing gear ready for Maris. Niles comes down the stairs, followed by Frasier and Marta. Niles: There you are! [Gunnar looks up] Yes, I'm talking to you, strudel boy! No one seduces my wife and gets away with it! You probably thought because of my refined bearing and swimmer's build that I wouldn't put up a fight for the woman I love. But you're dead wrong, because real men have a thing called "honor!" [Gunnar stands up; he's a full head taller than Niles] Yow! You wouldn't know about that, would you? Frasier: Niles... Niles: You wouldn't know how decent people behave. Frasier: Niles... Niles: You wouldn't know the meaning of the word "rectitude!" Frasier: Niles, he wouldn't know the meaning of the word "dog," "cat," or "pencil!" He doesn't speak English, remember?! Gunnar: [to Marta] Wieso ist er so bose? Marta: Ich weiss nicht. Niles: Marta! You speak German? Marta: Que? Frasier: Uh, habla alleman? Marta: Si! Yo trabajo para una familia allemana que llego a Guatemala despues a la Guerra. Frasier: Apparently she worked for a German family that turned up in Guatemala... [deep voice] just after the war. Marta frowns, while Frasier gives her a very Jack Benny look. Niles: Well, well, good, good! She can translate for me! Tell her to tell him- Frasier: Niles, Niles, just wait! Niles: What? Frasier: Look at him! God, if he knew you were calling him "strudel boy," he'd be wiping his feet on your face! Niles: Hang that, Frasier! If there're going to be scuffs, they'll be scuffs of honor. [to Gunnar] How dare you steal my wife! [to Frasier] Translate! Frasier: Oh, all right. [to Marta] Senor Crane quiere que preguntas a Gunnar, uh, "Como se atrevez a robar mis zapatos!" Marta: [to Gunnar] Was fallt Dir ein meine Schuhe zu stehlen? Finally understanding, Gunnar draws his sword on Niles. Gunnar: Schweinehund! Frasier and Marta jump back in alarm. Niles: All right, fine, you want to challenge me? [throws off his jacket and grabs the other sword] En garde! Frasier: Oh yes, Niles, that's just what we need, a fourth language! Niles, you can't possibly fight this man! Niles: Are you forgetting? I've been fencing since prep school! Frasier: Yes, oh, so what? The man was obviously born with a sword in his hand! He probably performed his own Caesarean! Gunnar attacks. Niles scrambles to defend himself. Niles: Oh my God, he's gonna kill me. Gunnar attacks again, driving Niles back to the fireplace. Niles: [pointing] Farvegnugen! Gunnar: [looking] Farvegnugen? Niles breaks away and dashes across the room, tipping over the couch as he goes. Gunnar chases him, and they fight near the stairs. Gunnar makes a sudden slash, shattering a Ming vase. Gunnar: [apologizing] Niles: Oh, very nice, very nice, thank you! Realizing what's going on, they start to fight again. They lock their swords together, and Gunnar pushes Niles upstairs, out of sight. A moment later, Niles runs downstairs and hides behind the stairwell pillar. When Gunnar comes down looking for him, Niles ambushes him. Niles fends off Gunnar's attacks and jumps up onto the piano. Laughing with sheer adrenaline, he shakes his hips and gives Gunnar a "Take Your Best Shot!" grin. They fight some more. Niles slashes at Gunnar's head, but he ducks. Gunnar slashes at Niles's ankle, but he hops over it. Niles grins and swashes his sword back and forth. Gunnar swashes his own sword. Niles swashes his sword again, but loses his grip and drops it on the floor. As Gunnar presses forward, Niles turns, jumps, and swings across the room on the chandelier like a pirate in a movie - only the roof plaster cracks, and Niles falls sprawling onto the floor. Frasier: Niles! Niles! Niles, my God, are you all right? Before Niles can get up, Gunnar presses the tip of his sword into the soft flesh of his neck. Gunnar: Entschuldige Dich sofort! Ich habe nicht Deine Schuhe gestohlen! Niles: [meekly, to Frasier] Is he giving up? Marta: Piedme perdon! Yo no te robo sus zapatos! Frasier: He says he wants you to apologize. He didn't steal... your shoes. Niles: My shoes?! Frasier: Yes, I'm sorry. Apparently I mistranslated. [to Marta] Look, he didn't mean, uh... not shoes, wife! No zapatos, esposa! Marta: [to Gunnar] Nicht Schuhe, Frau! Gunnar: Frau? Mumbling in German, Gunnar takes his sword away and sinks into a chair. Gunnar: Maris ist unwiderstehlich. Marta: [to Frasier] No me puede contralar. Maris est irresistible. Frasier: [to Niles] He couldn't help himself, Maris is irresistible. [to Marta, in Spanish] Irresistible? Marta: [to Gunnar] Unwiderstehlich? Gunnar: Ja. Marta: Si. Frasier: O-kayy. Gunnar: Aber sie hat mich abgewiesen. Marta: Pero me rechazo. Frasier: Oh, but she refused him. Niles: Really? Frasier: Verdad? Marta: Wirklich? Gunnar throws up his hand. Marta throws up her hand to Frasier, who throws up his hand to Niles, who also throws up his hand. Niles: Well, what did Maris say? Frasier: Que decia? Marta: Was hat sie gesagt? Gunnar: "Ich liebe Niles." Marta: "Yo amo Niles." Frasier: "I love Niles." Niles: She loves me! [hugs Frasier] Oh, she loves me! [hugs Marta] My marriage is whole! He moves to hug Gunnar, but ends up just patting him on the shoulders. Niles: Give me five seconds, then tell him he's fired. [running upstairs] Maris! He exits. Frasier: Oh lord, if only I can do something to help Gunnar and Gretchen. Gunnar: [looking up] Gretchen? Frasier: Ja, ja, uh... [to Marta] Tell him that his wife loves him very much. Uh, I mean, diga a Gunnar que su esposa le ama mucho. Marta: Diem Frau [points at Frasier] liebt ihn sehr. Frasier smiles beatifically. Gunnar draws his sword, enraged. Gunnar: SCHWEINEHUND! Frasier: No, no, not me! You, you! Marta, damn your pronoun problems! He scrambles to the other side of the room. Then, getting into the spirit, he takes a sword down from the mantle and roars a challenge at Gunnar. Frasier: All right, then, you hapless wretch! They start to fence. END OF ACT TWO [SCENE_BREAK] Niles enters the bathroom wearing a bathrobe and carrying a tray. On the tray are an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne, and a red rose. He knocks on the hatch. It opens. He pours a glass of champagne and holds it into the hatchway. An unseen hand takes it. He puts the rose in his mouth, but pricks himself on one of the thorns. He hands Maris the rose, then slides into the tank with his own glass of champagne, pulling the hatch closed behind him.	Plan: A: Frasier; Q: Who receives a call from a woman whose husband he suspects of having an affair with Maris? A: air; Q: On what medium does Frasier receive a call? Summary: Frasier receives a call on air from a woman whose husband he suspects to be having an affair with Maris.
[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- NIGHT] [EXT. LAKE MEAD - NIGHT] WHITE FLASH TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAKE MEAD - NIGHT] (HANK and GEORGE are sitting in a boat fishing. HANK struggles to hook a worm.) Hank: Ah, these green worms ain't worth a damn. (Something thumps against the boat.) George: What the hell was that? Hank: I don't know, probably one of those eight-foot carp. (Something thumps against the boat again. GEORGE is spooked.) George: Let's get out of here. (GEORGE reaches for the engine pull cord and rips it. The engine sputters and dies.) Hank: Something probably caught on the blades. Check the prop. George: I'm not sticking my hand in that water. (HANK gets up to do it.) Hank: (irritated) Move. Move out of the way. Okay. (HANK reaches over the side of the boat and sticks his hand in the water. He feels around.) Hank: Yeah, I got something. (HANK pulls it up. He has his hand wrapped around the high heel of a woman's shoe.) George: Dude, throw it back. Hank: What the hell is it? (As he lifts it up, it's apparent that the woman's leg is still attached to the shoe.) SHORT TIME CUT TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAKE MEAD SHORELINE - NIGHT] (GRISSOM sets up the light to shine it on the leg.) (All around the lake, OFFICIALS comb the water for the rest of the body.) (CATHERINE puts on her gloves as she approaches GRISSOM.) Catherine: Femur. Strongest bone in the human body -- it's sliced clean through. Grissom: Like a ginsu through a banana. (BRASS walks up to them.) Brass: So, what do you think, drowning? Grissom: Yeah, probably, but under what circumstances? You don't wear flippers at a five-star restaurant. Why would you wear three-inch heels at a lake? (to CATHERINE) So, Watson? The game is afoot. HARD CUT TO: END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM -- MORNING] (WARRICK and NICK are in the locker room. NICK is changing his clothes and stands there shirtless; WARRICK fiddles with his tie as he prepares to go to court.) Nick: What do you think, bro? Breakfast on me? Warrick: I got a court date ... straight off of graveyard. It sucks. Nick: Ouch. Well, time-and-a-half. A cup of java, and you're set. (SARA walks into the locker room.) Sara: (o.s.) Fine suit. (WARRICK and NICK turn around to find SARA in the locker room.) Sara: (to NICK) And well, just fine. Nick: That's harassment. Sara: Hey, we have one locker room and it's my job to be observant. (NICK grabs a shirt and puts it on.) Warrick: Well, evidence vault opens in five. (WARRICK closes the locker door.) See you guys later. Nick: Later, bro. Sara: Easy. So, you and me, 419 Western LVU. Nick: I know, a dead body at a fraternity. 7:00 A.M.-Looks like we're pulling another double. Sara: I know, we don't have all day ... are, are you going to wear ... that? Nick: Yeah. Sara: It's that hideous ... Nick: Hideous. Thank you. (SARA leaves the locker room. NICK waits a moment, then undoes the buttons of his shirt to change it. He clears his throat and takes his shirt off.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- MORNING] (DR. JENNA WILLIAMS goes over the leg findings with CATHERINE.) Dr. Jenna Williams: Large propeller. Blade cut clean through. No epidermal bruising. The leg was severed post-mortem. Catherine: Well, that's good news. (DR. JENNA WILLIAMS covers the leg with the plastic.) Dr. Jenna Williams: How do you figure? Catherine: Well, do you want to be alive when your leg's being cut off? (The door bursts open and GRISSOM appears pushing a gurney with a body on it.) Grissom: I believe this goes with that. (beat) Divers recovered the body about a half a mile east of Calville Marina. Dr. Jenna Williams: Female caucasian, mid-30s. Left thighbone connected to nothing. I believe this is our victim. Catherine: Well, she's wearing a wedding ring. Grissom: Will you collect a rape kit? (DR. WILLIAMS looks up at GRISSOM.) Dr. Jenna Williams: Always do. (She checks out the hand.) Grissom: How's it look for prints? Dr. Jenna Williams: Her skin's shriveled like a shar-pei. No pressure, no prints. (GRISSOM looks expectantly at CATHERINE. CATHERINE knows that look.) Catherine: No. No way, use your own hand. Grissom: Come on, Catherine, my hand's too big. Catherine: (firmly) No! Grissom: It's the only way we can print her. Her skin on your hand should fit like a leather glove. (GRISSOM reaches for the hand and a knife. CATHERINE watches as GRISSOM takes the skin off of the hand. When he finishes, he looks up at CATHERINE and extends his hand to her.) Grissom: May I take your hand? (CATHERINE puts her hand in GRISSOM'S and he leads her to the table where the fingerprint kit is. Although we don't see it, GRISSOM puts the dead woman's skin on CATHERINE'S hand.) Grissom: On behalf of the decedent I thank you. (He takes the fingerprint.) Catherine: Umm ... Grissom: I think we're going to know who she is by lunchtime. Catherine: (shivers) Ugh! [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. WESTER LVU CAMPUS - FRATERNITY ROW - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PHI ALPHA FRATERNITY HOUSE -- MORNING] (NICK and SARA walk into the fraternity. NICK looks around.) Nick: I can't believe I used to live in a place like this. It seems like a hundred years Sara: And here I had all this respect for you. (They walk up to the group of college guys waiting for them.) Nick: Guys, Nick Stokes. This is Sara Sidle. We're with the crime lab. (MATT DANIELS stands up and extends his hand to NICK.) Matt Daniels: How you doing? I'm Matt Daniels. Nick: Hey, Matt. Matt Daniels: James is upstairs if you guys want to follow me. Nick: Okay. (MATT turns and heads out. NICK and SARA follow him.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PHI ALPHA FRATERNITY HOUSE - SECOND FLOOR BEDROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (SARA appears in the bedroom door. She looks inside and sees the body hanging from the ceiling. Also standing in the room is the DETECTIVE on the case. SARA walks in. NICK follows.) Sara: Hey. Detective Kane: Hey. (NICK sighs.) Nick: Good god. Sara: (to the DETECTIVE) You see a suicide note? Detective Kane: We didn't find one. Sara: Don't release anyone downstairs. We want to talk to them. All of them. (SARA puts her kit down and opens it.) Nick: Coroner pronounce? Detective Kane: Twenty minutes ago. (SARA takes out the camera and snaps a photo.) Nick: Let's get him down. (NICK turns away from the sight.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY] (CATHERINE looks a the photo of the woman who was found in the lake, WENDY BARGER. She and GRISSOM walk through the hallway.) Catherine: She's a floater, Wendy Barger. Thirty-four, local, Green Valley. Grissom: We should contact her family. Catherine: Already did. Talked to the husband. Never reported her missing. Grissom: The coroner said she'd been in the water for two days. Where's the husband now? Catherine: At the coroner's, I.D.-ing the body. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (CATHERINE and GRISSOM meet up with DR. JENNA WILLIAMS who fills them in on her findings.) Dr. Jenna Williams: Hey. Results are back on the rape kit. Positive for semen, vaginal penetration. Catherine: You confirming rape? Dr. Jenna Williams: Well, there are signs of a struggle. The victim's right shoulder is dislocated. Her skull is fractured. (Inhales) Give me a little more time with the body. Grissom: Sure. Thanks, Jenna. (JENNA WILLIAMS leaves. CATHERINE and GRISSOM turn and enter the waiting room where WINSTON BARGER waits.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - WAITING ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (WINSTON BARGER stands up when they enter the room.) Grissom: Mr. Barger, my name is Gil Grissom. Winston Barger: Hello. (They shake hands.) Grissom: This is Catherine Willows. We're forensics investigators. Sit down. (They all sit down.) Catherine: We need to ask you a few questions. Winstone Barger: All right. Catherine: Is there anyone that you know of that might have wanted to harm your wife? Winston Barger: No. Everybody loved Wendy. Grissom: When was the last time you saw her? Winston Barger: Tuesday morning. She needed some time away ... to get perspective. She did that sometimes. Uh, we have a, a cabin up by Calville Bay. (GRISSOM looks at CATHERINE.) Catherine: And when was the last time you had intercourse with your wife? Winston Barger: Oh, that-that's personal. Catherine: It's part of our investigation, sir. Winston Barger: Uh, well, the average is only once a week. Saturdays. (There's an uncomfortable pause.) Catherine: Mr. Barger ... Winston Barger: (interrupts) Probably three or four months ago. Grissom: Would you be willing to give us a DNA sample, sir? Winston Barger: What's going on? I thought Wendy drowned. Catherine: We're still trying to piece it all together. A sample would be helpful. Grissom: By law, we need a warrant, unless you were willing to volunteer it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PHI ALPHA HOUSE - DAY] (SARA and NICK interview KYLE TRAVIS and MATT DANIELS.) Nick: Was James depressed? Kyle Travis: You could say that. Sara: Could you say that? I mean, the kid's 18 years old, he's got his whole life in front of him and why would he want to hang himself? Kyle Travis: I don't know. He didn't get in? Sara: "Get in" ... ? Kyle Travis: The fraternity. Pledging. I mean, it's not easy. Sara: Apparently not. Nick: So, you guys let James know he wasn't getting in, right? Matt Daniels: Yeah. I told him last night. I'm the one in charge of dinging pledges. Sara: Big job? How'd he take it? Kyle Travis: (pointedly) I think you know. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COURTHOUSE - PARKING LOT - DAY] (WARRICK shuts the car door. He carries a sealed plastic container with him. He walks up to the COUNTY COURTHOUSE 423 where he sees JUDGE COHEN walking out toward him.) Warrick: Hey, Judge. What's going on? I'm due in your court. Judge Cohen: Called for a continuance. Warrick: Well, nobody told me. Judge Cohen: Nobody was supposed to tell you. (JUDGE COHEN steps aside.) Judge Cohen: You're going to do something for me. Warrick: Judge, I thought we were even. How much longer am I under your thumb? Judge Cohen: You do what I ask, slate's clean. Henderson rape case. State's evidence. Warrick: Damn. I knew you were in tight. Judge Cohen: Judges aren't appointed on a whim. I owed the family. I need you to compromise the chain of custody. Warrick: Just like that? (The JUDGE nods.) Warrick: We got a slam dunk on a three-time rapist and he's just going to walk? Judge Cohen: I have to have this case kicked. Warrick: I'm already on probation. Judge Cohen: Give them an excuse. You're good at that. You worked the graveyard. You pulled a double and you're tired. It could happen to anybody. Don't worry. I've got your back. Warrick: Yeah, I feel you back there, believe me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB - DAY] (GREG SANDERS looks through the scope, the music on his boom box playing. CATHERINE walks into the lab. GREG steps away from the scope and turns the music up.) (GRISSOM walks into the lab and immediately gets into the music. He calls out to GREG.) Grissom: (loudly) Hey, maestro, what's the deal on our floater? (GREG doesn't hear him. GRISSOM turns the music down.) Grissom: Excuse me. Professor? What's up with our floater? Greg Sanders: Come hither. (GREG puts the DNA results on the monitor. They look at it.) [CAMERA CLOSE UP - SAMPLE F981189] Catherine: DNA doesn't match. Greg Sanders: Thirteen markers, and not one of them matches the husband's types. Grissom: That's funny. I liked the husband for this. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (CATHERINE and GRISSOM are in the interview room with WINSTON BARGER and his ATTORNEY.) Attorney: Well, you were wrong. My client's been through enough distress. Winston, come on. (The ATTORNEY stands up. WINSTON BARGER also stands up. Before he leaves the room, he looks at GRISSOM.) Winston Barger: When you find out what happened to my wife, I want to know everything. Grissom: I promise. (WINSTON BARGER leaves the room. GRISSOM puts the file back in his case and sighs.) Catherine: Let me ask you something. Would you want to know everything? Grissom: You're asking the wrong guy. (CATHERINE grabs her bag and they both head out of the room.) Catherine: Barger as much as told us that he and his wife were having problems. She was staying at the lake. It wasn't the first time. And what do you think the chances are she was seeing somebody else? [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] Grissom: You were married. You tell me. Catherine: Very good to excellent. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - EVIDENCE VAULT - DAY] (WARRICK signs back in the evidence box he took with him to court.) Warrick: I need to see the Henderson Rape case 4217. Mike: Sure, in here. (MIKE gets the key to the cage. He unlocks the door and they both enter the room. He reaches up on the shelf to bring the box down to the table.) Mike: Uh, sign here. Warrick: Thanks, Mike. (WARRICK watches as MIKE leaves the cage. WARRICK hesitates and doesn't sign the sheet. Again, he puts the pen down on the sheet, but doesn't sign it. WARRICK sighs.) (Behind him, GRISSOM appears in the door.) Grissom: Hey. (WARRICK looks up.) Grissom: How's court? Warrick: Uh, damn case was continued. Clerk never called. Grissom: Look, go home. Take a day. You're been working your ass off. Warrick: (shakes his head) Nature of the beast. Grissom: I'm grateful, Warrick. I'm glad you're back. And I owe you a party. Warrick: Party? Grissom: Yeah, I made you a CSI three. (WARRICK chuckles.) Grissom: You'll see it in your next paycheck. Warrick: More money, more problems. Grissom: Mm ... Warrick: Thanks. Grissom: Yeah. (GRISSOM turns to leave.) Warrick: I appreciate it. (WARRICK sighs and looks back at the evidence box.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM - DAY] (BRASS is eating lunch in the break room. CATHERINE is also there.) Brass: If Wendy Barger was sleeping around, none of her friends knew about it. Catherine: Anybody seen her since Tuesday? Brass: Nope. And as far as I can tell, the husband's on the level. He was happier in the marriage than she was. Catherine: She had something on the side. I can tell you firsthand when you don't cheat, you don't suspect. Brass: Oh, man. I wish I had been married to you. Catherine: Not a chance. (CATHERINE closes her lunch and stands to throw it away.) Brass: (exaggerated) Oh ... mm ... (GRISSOM appears in the doorway.) Grissom: Coroner just called. They're waiting for us. Catherine: Okay. Brass, you coming? Brass: (points to his food) I still got half a burger. Besides, I prefer live bodies. (He chuckles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE and GRISSOM head for the coroner's. WARRICK appears behind them, trying to catch up with GRISSOM.) Warrick: Hey, Grissom. (They turn around.) You got a second? Uh, I'm in purgatory. Need some guidance. Grissom: (to CATHERINE) Meet you at the car. (GRISSOM walks toward WARRICK.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CORONER'S FFICE - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (DR. CORBETT goes over JAMES JOHNSON'S findings with NICK and SARA.) Dr. Corbett: Okay, here's your frat boy. We have a petechial hemorrhaging which is synonymous with asphyxia. (Quick CGI Close up of the eye.) Nick: So he asphyxiated by hanging? Are you ruling suicide? Dr. Corbett: No, not yet. When a victim is found hung we usually find some teeth marks on the tongue. (DR. CORBETT reaches into the mouth and pulls out the tongue.) Sara: No teeth marks. Nick: But we found him swinging from the ceiling. Sara: So, the question is, how did he get there? Dr. Corbett: Speaking of how did he get there ... (DR. CORBETT lifts up the sheet. NICK turns away; SARA steps up.) Dr. Corbett: How did this get on his pen1s? Sara: Huh. Is that a tattoo? Dr. Corbett: No, no, it looks like ink. (NICK looks away. SARA looks at NICK.) Sara: Nick? You want to take a look at this? Nick: Oh, no, I ... don't have to look. I have a pretty good idea what this is all about, so ... Sara: (smiles) Okay. Nick: Knock yourself out. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FRAT HOUSE - CHAPTER ROOM - DAY] (NICK and SARA are back at the fraternity house interviewing KYLE TRAVIS and MATT DANIELS.) NICK Does your fraternity practice hazing? Kyle Travis: No. Matt Daniels: Yeah, I mean, it took a long time for Phi Alpha to get its charter. We have a strict no-tolerance policy and as president, I enforce that to the letter. Nick: (laughs) Come on, man, I was a Greek and we had all kinds of policies, too. Guys still hazed. Sara: We found ink on James's pen1s. Are you trying to tell us he was just practicing his penmanship? Matt Daniels: (insistent) State passed a law: No Hazing. It's six months in jail plus expulsion. We do not haze. Kyle Travis: But there is an initiation. (Quick flashback to: The Frat House. The new pledges and members meet.) (Cut to: KYLE TRAVIS.) Kyle Travis: Pledges, turn and face your active chapter. (The pledges turn around and the members shine bright powerful lights on them, blinding them. The heckling begins.) Kyle Travis: For the past ten weeks you guys have accumulated points. Some of you are way ahead. Some of you are way ... behind. (Cut to: KYLE TRAVIS holding pens in his hands.) Kyle Travis: (shouts) It's time ... to get signed! (The frat boys cheer.) Matt Daniels: (V.O.) I could tell right off the bat James was nervous, you know? (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Matt Daniels: He was kind of the shy guy. I mean, he ... he wanted to pledge. He wanted to belong. Kyle Travis: (correcting MATT) Yeah, he wanted to belong, but you know what, I questioned his chops. I think we all did. (NICK clears his throat.) Matt Daniels: So, yeah, we gave the pledges an assignment: They were to go to sorority row and, uh, get ... different parts of their bodies signed. Kyle Travis: I mean, the menu was pretty straightforward. Arms and legs: Five points. Ten points for your chest, 25 points for your butt cheeks and 100 points for your Johnson. Sara: Your Johnson? Nick: Yeah, you know, your, uh ... Sara: (to NICK) I know what it is. (to KYLE) Don't stop now. (Quick flashback to: Fraternity House.) Kyle Travis: And Johnson ... ...your sorry ass is so far behind in points that you better get your ... "Johnson" ... (KYLE reaches down and grabs JAMES. JAMES jumps in surprise.) ... signed a couple hundred times or you're... history. (The members cheer and whoop.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Matt Daniels: Kyle caught him cheating in the bathroom. (Quick flashback to: KYLE standing in the middle of the common room with his hand on JAMES' shoulder.) Kyle Travis: He was signing himself. Frat Boy: Oh, man! FRAT BOY: No! (KYLE turns around and pours his cup of beer over JAMES' head.) Frat Boy: What a fake! (The other members join in and throw their cups full of beer on JAMES' also.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: You humiliate him in front of all the other actives. Poor kid was so scared, he had to sign himself. You give him a beer shower? And you don't call that hazing? (Neither KYLE or MATT say anything. They look at each other. NICK gets angry at them.) Nick: (firmly) Answer the question, guys. Kyle Travis: I had no choice. I had to ding him. Matt Daniels: I mean, come on, you're only as strong as your weakest link. Kyle Travis: We didn't pledge him. He pledged us. He knew what to expect if he didn't measure up. Nick: Humiliation, initiation ... (beat) ... appreciation. Kyle Travis: That's what it's all about. Nick: Right, right? Matt Daneils: We're sorry, but we didn't kill him. (SARA looks at them.) Sara: I don't buy it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY] (WARRICK is on the phone in the hallway.) Warrick: (to phone) Judge ... Warrick. Listen, uh, I got a little problem. No, I can't talk about it over the phone. We got to meet in person. There's something in the evidence I think you should see. Good. (WARRICK hangs up the phone and sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT] (DR. JENNA WILLIAMS goes over her findings with CATHERINE and GRISSOM.) Dr. Jenna Williams: I'll start at the top. Head contusion, right temple. Imbedded with wood splinters, lime green paint. (Camera zooms in to show the green-colored wood splinters in the head.) Catherine: What does that give us? Dr. Jenna Williams: Nothing yet, but when you find the murder weapon it might give you something to compare it against. Moving down, three words. Write them down. Minimal pulmonary aspiration. Grissom: (surprised) There was no water in her lungs? Dr. Jenna Williams: All I'm saying is, if she died by drowning her lungs would be flooded. (Quick CGI to: Camera zooms down WENDY BARGER'S open mouth, down through her wind pipe and into her lungs where water fills them up.) Dr. Jenna Williams: (V.O.) But her lungs weren't flooded. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: So we think she was raped killed, then dumped in the lake. Dr. Jenna Williams: After a very nice dinner. Which brings me to her stomach. (DR. WILLIAMS picks up the container of her stomach contents.) Dr. Jenna Williams: Fried calamari and based on the extent of the digestion she died about three hours after she ate. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAKE MEAD - LATE DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESTAURANT - LATE DAY] (GRISSOM and CATHERINE walk along the pier toward the front of the restaurant.) Catherine: Now tell me, why are we here? Grissom: 'Cause it's the only place within ten miles of Calville Bay that serves calamari. Catherine: And you know this because...? Grissom: I come here for calamari. Catherine: Oh. Alone? Grissom: No. Sometimes I have a beer with it. SHORT TIME CUT TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESTAURANT - LATE DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE and GRISSOM show the WAITRESS a photo of WENDY BARGER. She looks at it.) Catherine: Do you recognize this woman? Waitress: She might have eaten here Tuesday night right around this time. Catherine: Ordered the calamari. Waitress: Miss, everyone orders calamari. Catherine: Well, I don't care about everyone. I care about her. Waitress: Uh ... yeah. Yeah, I remember her. Um, she came in with a guy. Regulars. Good tipper. Grissom: Would you happen to know this "good tipper"'s name? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PHIL SWELCO'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM and CATHERINE interview PHIL SWELCO.) Catherine: Mr. Swelco, are you all right? Phil Swelco: (sniff) I can't believe she's dead. Grissom: Could you tell us about your affair with Wendy? Phil Swelco: Nobody knew we had one. Grissom: What about your wife? Phil Swelco: We were separated. We filed for divorce last week. I thought Wendy was going to do the same thing. Catherine: And... when she didn't, you got angry? (He turns and looks at CATHERINE.) Phil Swelco: No. No. That's not what I meant. I loved Wendy. She said the marriage was over. It's just that ... just ... she was scared. Catherine: Scared? Why? Phil Swelco: She didn't want to hurt Winston. She thought if she left, he'd ... break. Grissom: Tuesday night you and Wendy had dinner at the grille? Where'd you go after that? Phil Swelco: We went back to the marina in her car and then we took the outboard back here. Grissom: Why'd you take the boat? Phil Swelco: Wendy didn't want anybody to s-see her car in my driveway so we always met at the marina and then we'd take the outboard over here. Catherine: What happened once you got here? Phil Swelco: We made love. Then she left. Took the boat back. (CATHERINE turns to look at GRISSOM.) Grissom: Where is ... the boat? Phil Swelco: At the marina. SHORT TIME CUT TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PHIL SWELCO'S HOUSE - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE and GRISSOM walk out of the house and head back to their car.) Catherine: Do you believe him? Grissom: I believe he had an affair. (GRISSOM looks out into the driveway and sees WINSTON BARGER standing in front of his car. He sees them and starts heading toward them.) Catherine: Is that the husband? (WINSTON BARGER walks up to GRISSOM and CATHERINE.) Grissom: Mr. Barger, what are you doing here? Winston Barger: You didn't call, so I was following you. Uh, this is ... Phil Swelco's house, isn't it? Grissom: Do you know Mr. Swelco? Winston Barger: Informally. Does he have something to do with Wendy's death? Catherine: We're interviewing a lot of people. Most of it's follow-up. (He nods.) Grissom: Mr. Barger, this is a time when you ought to let us do our job. You've been through a terrible ordeal. You've asked us to keep you posted and I promise we will keep you posted. Winston Barger: I just wanted to see if you guys have anything new. Catherine: As soon as we know, you'll know. Winston Barger: All right. (WINSTON BARGER walks back to his car and gets in.) Grissom: Drive safely. (The engine starts and he drives off.) (CATHERINE and GRISSOM head back to their car.) Catherine: You know, eventually we're going to have to tell him that his wife was having an affair with somebody he knows. Grissom: No, we don't, Catherine. We have to tell him how he died. Just the facts, without all the other stuff. Catherine: When Eddie was cheating on me I sure wish somebody would have said something. Grissom: You mean me. (beat) (CATHERINE opens the car door.) Catherine: Who else? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE] (GRISSOM looks a the tarantula in the tank he's holding up to his eye level. CATHERINE knocks on the door. He looks up; she walks into the office.) Catherine: New pet? Grissom: The African Red Baboon Tarantula -- the most feared of all arachnids. But basically harmless. Catherine: Yeah, well just keep the lid on it, okay? Grissom: I think you scared him. All his hairs are standing up. Catherine: If you're through amusing yourself I have some news on the boat. Grissom: Was it at the Marina? Catherine: What do you think? Grissom: My spider sense says it wasn't. Catherine: Right. We need to find the boat. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM - DAY] (NICK puts his food in the microwave oven. SARA walks into the break room waving a file folder.) Sara: The coroner's prelim on the frat hanging. Nick: Bust it out. (SARA lifts her head and sniffs.) Sara: What's that smell? Nick: I'm nuking a burrito. Sara: Mmm, junk food and radiation-- good combo. (SARA opens the file and starts reading.) Sara: A strip of raw calf's liver was found lodged inside the cleft of victim's throat. Cause of death: Choking. Nick: (nods) Mm-hmm. That's interesting. Sara: Microscopic threads of fabric were found embedded in the liver. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (NICK and SARA interview KYLE TRAVIS.) Kyle Travis: Microscopic fabric? I have no idea what you're talking about. You just lost me. Nick: Kyle, I'm getting that "hazing" feeling. Sara: Did you stuff him? Suffocate him? Shove towels down his throat? Kyle Travis: No. Look, lady, I have no idea where you're going with all this but you're way off. (NICK stands off to the side in the shadows.) Nick: Tell me about the liver. Kyle Travis: What about the liver? Nick: Kyle ... Kyle ... eleven years ago I was you, man. Smoking cigars in closets, playing tanks. I wore a trout in my jean pocket for seven days till my leg went half numb. I've been there. So, don't ... don't tell me "what about it?" Kyle Travis: (sighs) Okay. James begged us for one more shot so, we came up with a challenge. (Quick flashback to: Camera close up of a bloody piece of liver in a container.) Kyle Travis: (V.O.) Swallowing raw liver. (KYLE holds up the piece of liver. JAMES JOHNSON opens his mouth.) (Cut to: JAMES coughs. MATT DANIELS sits on the couch on the side watching. He starts to choke.) Kyle Travis: Oh, man. Oh, man, he's choking. (MATT gets off of the couch.) Matt Daniels: Give him the heimlich. Give him the heimlich. Give him the heimlich! (They grab JAMES and try to get the liver out of him.) Matt Daniels: He's turning blue! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: How does a kid choke to death and end up hanging from a rafter? (KYLE doesn't look at SARA. He looks at NICK. NICK nods his head and steps away.) Kyle Travis: (sighs) Okay. We freaked. I mean, we had a lot to lose here. We could lose our charter or get kicked out of school or even go to jail. So, me and Matt, we strung him up, and ... made it look like he'd committed suicide. (NICK looks down and nods his head.) Sara: You do realize you just admitted to killing him? Kyle Travis: We didn't kill him. It was an accident. Sara: It was an accident. But now it's beginning to look like Christmas. Kyle Travis: Look, (sighs) ... my dad's a top defense attorney so, if charges are filed ... (NICK grabs a chair and sits down.) Nick: Don't worry. They will be. Kyle Travis: It'll be manslaughter, not murder. And me and Matt wind up with community service. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARMENT - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS] (NICK and SARA walk out into the hallway.) Nick: We can hold him for manslaughter. Sara: Manslaughter -- are you kidding? Are you willing to settle for that? Come on, Nick, you know as well as I do there is more to this. Nick: You're going 80 miles an hour in second gear. Let's just slow down, all right? Sara: Okay. Nick: They said they performed the heimlich, right? Sara: Yeah. I don't believe them. Nick: Well, if they performed the heimlich, there'd be evidence of trauma. Sara: Yes, there would. (SARA nods and walks away. NICK follows her.) [SCENE_BREAK] (The camera zooms down from a top view of JAMES JOHNSON under the sheet and stops on his chest.) DISSOLVE INTO [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - CORONER'S OFFICE - X-RAY LAB - DAY] CLOSE UP: CHEST X-RAY ON A VIEWBOX (DR. CORBETT goes over the chest x-ray with SARA and NICK.) Dr. Corbett: Well, now, you're right. If they gave this frat kid the heimlich chances are we'd find a broken rib. Nick: Not even a fracture. Sara: What about abdominal or thoracic bruising? Dr. Corbett: Nope. Photos are all negative. Sara: They lied. When this kid was choking, no one tried to help him. Dr. Corbett: Take a look at this. (DR. CORBETT moves to the keyboard monitor. He works on the keyboard.) Dr. Corbett: Now, we magnified Mr. Johnson's privates. (SARA glances back at NICK and sees that he's watching the monitor. NICK glances at SARA.) Dr. Corbett: The ink is from a felt tip. It's a paper max thin tip to be exact. (SARA nods her head.) Sara: (reading) "JILL W." Two triangles. Nick: (correcting) No, it's two deltas. Greek letters. She's a delt. (SARA closes her eyes and groans.) Sara: Freaks. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SORORITY HOUSE - COMMON ROOM -- DAY] (NICK and SARA interview JILL WENTWORTH. NICK takes out a photograph of the "signature" and shows it to JILL WENTWORTH) Nick: Jill, we need to ask you a question. Is this your signature? (She looks at it, covers her eyes and laughs.) Jill Wentworth: (laughing) Oh, my god. Oh, where did you get that? Sara: Where do you think? Jill Wentworth: You don't think that has something to do with what happened? Nick: We don't know yet. That's what we're trying to find out. How well did you know James? Jill Wentworth: Uh, he was pledging my boyfriend's house. We're Greek, I mean ... we sign them. They sign us. ... Sara: (unimpressed) Of course you do. Nick: Who's your boyfriend? Jill Wentworth: Kyle Travis. (SARA looks at NICK. He clears his throat and looks down.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CORRIDOR OUSTIDE JAMES' ROOM] (NICK breaks the seal to JAMES JOHNSON'S dorm room. He opens the door. He and SARA walk inside.) [INT JAMES' ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (NICK and SARA put their kits down and start searching the room.) Sara: So, looking for fibers. Nick: Yeah, fibers liver-anything to implicate these guys. (NICK looks across the room and heads for the trash can. He looks inside and empties its contents on the floor. He picks up a piece of string with a bloodied loop on the end.) (Camera zooms in to show the bloodied string loop.) Sara: What the heck is that? Nick: The murder weapon. Dingle-dangle. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CSI - HALLWAY - NIGHT] (WARRICK walks down the hallway drinking from a cup. He meets up with GREG SANDERS who is wearing head phones.) Warrick: Let me guess. Radiohead or Rage against the machine. Greg Sanders: Actually, it's an audio book on restriction enzyme analysis and DNA typing. PCR fingerprinting. Choice. Warrick: Right. (As they pass the garage, GREG looks in through the window and sees GRISSOM inside.) Greg Sanders: What's Grissom doing in the garage? Warrick: Oh, he's working that Wendy Barger case -- you know, the floater? Greg Sanders: Oh. Warrick: Only clue he's got is a missing boat which sucks, 'cause ... it's missing. Greg Sanders: (chuckles) He thinks he's going to find it in a bathtub? Warrick: It's a simulation tank. He's re-creating the conditions the night she died. Body was dumped, like, a half mile from Calville Bay. They think the boat must have drifted with the currents. Greg Sanders: And let me guess -- Catherine got bored. Warrick: Well, you know Grissom. Shortest distance between two points is science. And for Catherine, it's pounding the pavement. Greg Sanders: Hey, I thought Grissom gave you the night off. Warrick: (nods) Yeah. Something came up. See you. (WARRICK walks away.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENES #33: [INT. CSI - GARAGE -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM puts a card with "SWELCO" on one section of the tank. GRISSOM opens the map and double checks the cards surrounding the tank. The camera pans from BARRING POINT BRIDGE to FLAMINGO REEF to MARINA / CALVILLE BAY.) (Once he has it, he puts the map away and picks up a small motor that he puts into the tank to simulate the currents.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAKE MEAD SHORELINE - NIGHT] (Camera close up of CATHERINE'S boots trudging through the water and carrying a big flashlight.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI GARAGE - NIGHT] (GRISSOM sets up a fan on the outside of the tank to simulate the wind conditions.) (He moves around the tank carrying a compass to double check the current and wind conditions.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAKE MEAD SHORELINE - NIGHT] (Out near the water's edge, CATHERINE scans the shoreline with her flashlight.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI GARAGE - NIGHT] (GRISSOM picks up a small plastic toy boat from off the table. With the compass in hand, he heads for the tank.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAKE MEAD SHORELINE - NIGHT] (CATHERINE continues to walk along the shoreline, using the flashlight to look for the boat.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM carries the boat to its starting point: the label marked SWELCO. He puts the boat in the tank and sets it off. He watches as the boat swings toward FLAMINGO REEF and past BARRING POINT BRIDGE.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BARRING POINT BRIDGE -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE walks under the bridge. She uses the flashlight and checks the shoreline for the missing boat. She sees something. She tucks the flashlight under her arm and uses the night vision binoculars.) NIGHT VISION GREEN: (The boat is tucked in the reeds on the water.) (CATHERINE puts down her binoculars and smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (The phone rings. GRISSOM answers it.) Grissom: Yeah? Grissom. INTERCUT WITH: Catherine: It's me. I found it. Just South of Barring Point Bridge. Grissom: How? Catherine: I took a walk. (GRISSOM walks toward the water tank.) Grissom: Just South of Barring Point Bridge? What color is the boat? Catherine: It's white with lime green trim. Just like the splinters we found in Wendy Barger's head wound. Grissom: Well done, Catherine. Well done. (CATHERINE stifles a giggle.) Grissom: (from phone) let's get the boat back to the garage. (GRISSOM hangs up the phone and looks at the water tank. Inside, the toy boat stopped at BARRING POINT BRIDGE.) (GRISSOM looks down into the water and sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PARK -- NIGHT] (WARRICK sits on a park bench. JUDGE COHEN approaches him. WARRICK stands up.) Judge Cohen: This better be good. Warrick: I need some assurances. Judge Cohen: It's a two-way street, pal. Did you do what I asked? Warrick: I checked out the evidence, yeah. But I'm not sure about the rest. Judge Cohen: What's the big deal? You break the seal on the evidence box it's over. We put it to bed, I tell Henderson "mission accomplished." (WARRICK raises his hand and gives a thumbs up signal.) Warrick: Why don't you let me do that? (The Police Siren blare and officers arrive at the park. JUDGE COHEN looks around.) Judge Cohen: What's going on here? (BRASS walks up to WARRICK and JUDGE COHEN.) Brass: Judge Cohen, you're under arrest for obstruction of justice tampering with state's evidence and violating seven articles of scumbag. (JUDGE COHEN turns to look at WARRICK. WARRICK lifts his shirt to show him the listening device taped to his chest. The officers put the JUDGE in handcuffs.) Warrick: I told you ... nobody owns me. (WARRICK puts his shirt down. The OFFICER takes JUDGE COHEN away.) Officer: Move on. Brass: Nice work, man. (WARRICK sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CSI - BREAK ROOM - NIGHT] (GREG walks into the break room where GRISSOM is eating.) Greg Sanders: Hey, Grissom. I hear Catherine beat you to the boat. Grissom: We work as a team. We're not competing. (GREG gets his yogurt out of the refrigerator and opens it.) Greg Sanders: Okay. But, ah, she found it first. Right? Grissom: "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and, sorry I could not travel both." Greg Sanders: Robert Frost. Grissom: Very good, Greg. Greg Sanders: Thanks. (GREG takes a seat opposite GRISSOM.) Grissom: But actually, in this case, Mr. Frost does not apply. When you have a partner you each take a road. That's how you find a missing boat. Greg Sanders: Come on. Level with me. Who do you think killed her -- the husband or boyfriend? (GRISSOM looks at GREG.) Grissom: And you've narrowed it down to just two suspects? Greg Sanders: Actually, you did. You see, my second week at CSI, you told me that when a cheating spouse is murdered there's always two suspects at the top of the list: The lover and the betrayed. Grissom: I told you this? Greg Sanders: Mm-hmm. You see, I'm thinking that the husband caught Wendy with the boyfriend and when she left his house, he killed her in a jealous rage. Grissom: And this theory is based on...? (GRISSOM stands up.) Greg Sanders: Nothing. I'm just trying to help. Grissom: I'm going to the garage to meet Catherine. (GRISSOM tosses his plate.) You keep thinking, Butch. That's what you're good at. (GREG stands up to follow GRISSOM to the door.) Greg Sanders: Hey. If this theory checks out, uh maybe we should talk about a raise. Grissom: Yeah. (GRISSOM leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE - NIGHT] (Camera opens on PHIL SWELCO'S BOAT #NV355 and around the Yamaha engine.) (GRISSOM checks the inside of the boat. CATHERINE checks the outside edges of the boat.) (CATHERINE sees something. Catherine: I think I may have found some skin. When Wendy hit her head. Did you hear what I said? (GRISSOM picks up the camera and holds it.) Grissom: Blood. Catherine: Blood? Well, you were at the autopsy. The head trauma wasn't a bleeder. Grissom: Well, maybe she fought back. Either way, we got to call Brass. Tell them to bring the boyfriend in. (CATHERINE puts her things aside and walks to find a phone. GRISSOM snaps the photo.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT -- HALLWAY - NIGHT] (BRASS opens the door and PHIL SWELCO walks out into the hallway.) Brass: Could you wait right here, please? (to the OFFICER) Stay with Mr. Swelco. (BRASS walks up to GRISSOM. CATHERINE joins them.) Grissom: How's it going? Brass: Aah, you know, the usual beep-bap-bop, you know? The guy said he cut his hand cleaning fish. Got a tetanus shot. That's his excuse for the blood we found on the boat. But I'll call the Lake Clinic to confirm. Catherine: (teasing) Damn, you're good. (In the background, WINSTON BARGER appears in the hallway.) Brass: Oh, shut up. Stevie, hang with him. Winston Barger: (o.s.) Phil? Phil Swelco? (PHIL SWELCO looks up.) (At the sound of his voice, GRISSOM and CATHERINE straighten and look back at WINSTON BARGER.) Phil Swelco: Winston. (beat) I heard about your wife. I'm sorry. Winston Barger: What are you doing here? Why are you questioning him? Catherine: Mr. Barger, why don't you, um come over here with me. Just walk over ... (CATHERINE takes WINSTON BARGER down one end of the hallway. GRISSOM goes to PHIL SWELCO.) Grissom: Mr. Swelco. Why don't we go in here sit down. (GRISSOM takes PHIL SWELCO back into the room.) Catherine: Have a seat. (They sit down.) Winston Barger: I always knew she was seeing someone. I just didn't know who. Catherine: (sighs) Oh, I'm sorry. Winston Barger: She was having an affair with Phil Swelco? And you think he killed her. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - PARKING LOT - NIGHT] (GRISSOM and CATHERINE argue in the parking lot.) Grissom: You just compromised our investigation. Catherine: He deserved to know the truth. Grissom: Knowing how she died, yes. Knowing that she had an affair -- how does that bring closure? Catherine: I guess you just have to be on the wrong end of an affair to understand. Grissom: You can't make this about Eddie. Look, you hurt our case because your ex hurt you. Catherine: We bring ourselves to our cases. We can't help it. I knew how Barger felt. Would you just relax? I didn't give him chapter and verse. Grissom: You can't give him anything, Catherine. We're scientists. We're not psychiatrists or victims' rights advocates. Catherine: You right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo watching discovery on the big screen working genius-level crossword puzzles, but no relationships. No chance any will slop over into a case. Right. I want to be just like you. Grissom: Technically, it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right. I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff. Catherine: Grissom ... what personal stuff? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - CONTINUOUS] (NICK and SARA re-interview MATT DANIELS.) Nick: Matt, I got to know. How much did it tick Kyle off? Matt Daniels: What are you talking about? Nick: Jill. (laughs) Man, Kyle must've been steamed. His girlfriend signs a pledge's privates? Matt Daniels: Yeah, Kyle, can take a joke. Sara: He didn't think it was funny enough to share it with us. You know, I never met a guy who could just laugh that off. Nick: Hey, Matt you know why I joined a fraternity? 'Cause I wanted to belong to something -- the brotherhood. That's what it was all about for me you know what I mean? So, I'm going to cut to the chase here, bud. You come clean, you might be able to save your house ... save the brotherhood, but ... if you don't ... Sara: You and Kyle both get charged with murder. And the House goes dark. Nick: Everything you're trying to protect you'll destroy. Matty, I found the string. Now are you ready to tell us what happened after James got back to that house? Matt Daniels: Okay. (Quick flashback to: ) Matt Daniels: Hey, let's see what Johnson came up with. Frat Boy: Yeah? FRAT BOY: Yeah, let's see it, dude. FRAT BOY: Show it! (JAMES nods and takes off his pants.) Matt Daniels: Dude ... that's your girlfriend. She signed it. (KYLE steps up. JAMES smiles smugly at KYLE. They guys hoot in the background.) Kyle Travis: Good. (JAMES puts his pants back on.) Kyle Travis: Meet me upstairs, pledge. (White flash to: KYLE and JAMES are up in the bedroom. KYLE holds onto the string with the piece of raw liver on it.) Kyle Travis: You're still behind in points. So this is what we're going to do. I'm going to put this down your throat you're going to swallow it and you're going to trust me to pull it back out. Okay. (KYLE holds out the piece of liver and JAMES swallows it. He pulls on the string and it comes loose. JAMES chokes on the piece of liver. KYLE sits in front of JAMES and watches him.) (Cut to: MATT sees KYLE in the doorway.) Matt Daniels: Dude, where's Johnson? (MATT walks into the room and his smile freezes when he sees JAMES dead.) (White flash to: MATT stares at JAMES' body.) Matt Daniels: Oh, oh, this is crazy. Kyle Travis: All right, all right, all right, listen to me. Anything goes down my father will bail out the chapter. (Flash to: ) Kyle Travis: Now you're just going to follow my lead and you're going to keep your mouth shut. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (MATT puts his head down. SARA looks over at NICK. NICK nods his head.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT POLICE DEPARTMENT - HOLDING CELL - NIGHT] (Inside the cell, KYLE TRAVIS lies on the bed. The sliding door opens and closes. SARA and NICK walk in.) Kyle Travis: Is my dad here yet? Sara: No, but when he gets here, you can tell him. New charge: First degree murder. (KYLE sits up on the bed.) Kyle Travis: No way, come on. That's ridiculous. Nick: Your boy rolled over on you, slick. Sara: One thing about the fraternity upstate, the brotherhood's fantastic. Nick: Oh, yeah. They gonna love you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE - NIGHT] (GRISSOM checks the gasoline can. It clangs hollowly. He puts it down. He and CATHERINE stand outside of PHIL SWELCO'S boat.) Grissom: She ran out of gas. Catherine: Okay. Grissom: Get in the boat. Pull the engine cord. Catherine: What? Grissom: Get in the boat. Catherine: Why? Grissom: Just indulge me, please? Catherine: There's no gas. It's not gonna start. Grissom: That's not the point. Catherine: (sighs) As long as there is one. (She steps into the boat. She braces her foot on the edge of the boat and pulls the engine cord. Nothing happens.) Grissom: Pull it again. (CATHERINE rips the cord.) Grissom: Go on. (Again.) Grissom: More. (And again.) Grissom: Harder. (And again several more times.) Grissom: Go on. (She finally drops the cord and turns angrily to GRISSOM.) Catherine: That's it. What's your point? Grissom: How does your shoulder feel? Catherine: It's sore. (realizing) But you already knew that. Grissom: I know what happened to Wendy. (Quick flashback to: WENDY BARGER kisses PHIL SWELCO goodbye.) Grissom: (V.O.) She says good night to Swelco ... (Cut to: PHIL SWELCO pushes the boat away from the pier with WENDY inside.) Grissom: (V.O.) ... and gets in the boat. Halfway home, the boat runs out of gas. (Cut to: WENDY sits inside the unmoving boat.) Grissom: (V.O.) ... Stranded in the middle of the lake, she panics. Starts pulling on the engine cord. (WENDY pulls on the cord multiple times.) Grissom: (V.O.) ... She pulls so hard, she dislocates her shoulder and falls forward. (WENDY hits the edge of the boat and falls overboard. She remains floating in the water.) Grissom: (V.O.) ... Wendy goes under, where she remains until a barge's propeller severs her leg. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: She died before she ever hit the water. Catherine: It was just an accident. Grissom: Well, sometimes it's about what didn't happen. Catherine: Well ... (sighs) ... I guess we better go talk to the husband. I mean, unless you think I'm going to compromise the integrity of the case again. (CATHERINE gets up.) Grissom: Look ... could we have a truce? Catherine: I would love to. Grissom: Good. (GRISSOM helps CATHERINE out of the boat.) Grissom: But let me do all the talking to the husband and the boyfriend. Catherine: (shakes her head) (quietly) He had to say it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (WARRICK spots GRISSOM in the hallway.) Warrick: Hey. (CATHERINE walks out into the hallway.) Grissom: I'll meet you outside, okay? Catherine: Okay. Hey, Warrick. Warrick: Hey, Cath. (CATHERINE puts on her jacket and heads outside.) Grissom: Did it go okay? Warrick: Yeah. Fine. Thanks for letting Brass handle it. Grissom: The fewer people who know about this the better. (WARRICK nods) Grissom: I'm proud of you. You know, Judge Cohen's got a lot of soldiers. Warrick: Yeah. That's what I'm afraid of. Grissom: You know, I can only help you out so much. After that, it's up to you. Warrick: Yeah, I know. (GRISSOM heads outside leaving WARRICK standing there.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAKE MEAD - MORNING] Cue Sound: KNOCKING [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PHIL SWELCO'S HOUSE - MORNING] (The door opens. GRISSOM and CATHERINE are standing outside on the porch.) Grissom: Hello?! Mr. Swelco?! Mr. Swelco?! Mr. Swelco? (They open the door. CATHERINE and GRISSOM walk inside.) (They both head upstairs.) (PHIL SWELCO is on the ground, dead. WINSTON BARGER sits in the nearby chair crying. The gun still in his hand.) Winston Barger: He killed my wife. Catherine: We just came from your house. We wanted to tell you that your wife's death was an accident. Winston Barger: What? (GRISSOM walks over to WINSTON BARGER. He takes a glove out of his pocket and grabs the gun from his loose grip.) (CATHERINE kneels down to check on PHIL SWELCO.) Grissom: He didn't kill her. (WINSTON BARGER whimpers and starts crying.)	Plan: A: A woman's severed leg; Q: What is found in Lake Mead? A: Grissom; Q: Who is Catherine's partner in the investigation? A: adultery; Q: What is the case of the woman's severed leg? A: a fraternity student's apparent suicide; Q: What do Sara and Nick investigate? A: the student's pledging; Q: What has gone terribly wrong? Summary: A woman's severed leg found in Lake Mead leads Grissom and Catherine to uncover a case of adultery. Meanwhile Sara and Nick investigate a fraternity student's apparent suicide, but find out that the student's pledging has gone terribly wrong.
(Oz's room. All his stuff still remains. Willow is walking around, then sits on his bed, bringing one of his shirts to her face and smelling it. Cut to UC Sunnydale student lounge. Buffy is walking through and sees Riley, who is hanging a banner that reads, "UC Sunnydale Lesbian Alliance") Girl: Hey, thanks Riley. (Riley climbs down off the ladder, taking a look. Buffy walks up behind him) Riley: Looks good. (Notices Buffy) Oh, hey Buffy. Buffy: (Jokingly) Is there something you want to tell me? Riley: What? (Buffy looks towards the banner. Riley does the same, catching on) Riley: Oh, yes - I am a lesbian. Buffy: Well, it's good that you're so open about it. (He smiles and they head off through the lounge) Riley: Oh, hey, you know how we were talking about having a picnic? I was thinkin' - do you ever hang out at Rhode's field? It's beautiful there. Usually not that crowded, either. I thought maybe we could have a little spread - sandwiches, maybe some ants? It'll be fun. Buffy: We were talking about having a picnic? Riley: So, was that a conversation I actually had, or one I was just practicing? Buffy: Practicing? Riley: Okay, yes - I have been known to do a little prep work before our conversations. It's not easy, you know, talking to you sometimes. It's like an oral exam. Buffy: Boy.. that's just what every girl longs to hear. Riley: Well, you're tricky! Buffy: Like an exam? Riley: I never know how you're going to react to something. That's why I like you so much. You're a mystery. Probably every beautiful girl in the world has some jerk telling her she's a mystery, but.. I swear. You really are. There's a lot about you that needs puzzling out. (Buffy's just staring at him with this whistful look in her eyes) Riley: I loose you somewhere? Buffy: Right around.. beautiful. (He smiles shyly) Riley: Hey - don't you just love a picnic? (Cut to the graveyard. Willow and Buffy are patrolling) Buffy: It's just, different, you know? A picnic. First of all, daylight - kind of a new venue, Buffywise. And the best part - he said he would bring all the food, so all I have to do was to show up and eat. Those are two things I'm really good at. Willow: So he's nice? Buffy: Very, very. Willow: And there's sparkage? Buffy: Yeah. He's- have you seen his arms? Those are good arms to have. I really like him. I do. Willow: But..? Buffy: I don't know. I really like being around him, you know? And I think he cares about me.. but.. I just.. feel like something's missing. Willow: He's not making you miserable? Buffy: Exactly. Riley seems so solid. Like he wouldn't cause me heartache. Willow: (Fake worry) Get out. Get out while there's still time. Buffy: I know.. I have to get away from that bad boy thing. There's no good there. Seeing Angel in LA.. even for five minutes.. hello to the pain. Willow: The pain is not a friend. Buffy: But I can't help thinking - isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but.. part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. (Suddenly a vampire jumps out from behind a bush. Buffy stakes him without so much as looking the other way. He crumbles to dust and she and Willow continue on their way) Buffy: I wonder where I get that from. OPENING CREDITS (Cut to Giles' bathroom. Buffy is sitting on the end of the bathtub in which Spike is chained up) Buffy: (Exasperated) So..you saw their faces but you can't describe them. Spike: (Playing coy) Well, they were human. Two eyes each, kind of in the middle. Buffy: Uh huh. And the lab? Spike: Underground. I came out through an air vent. I don't know exactly where. I'm done. Put the telly on. (Giles enters, carrying a mug that reads "Kiss the Librarian" with a straw protruding from it. It contains blood) Spike: It's about time. Hope you got it warm enough. (Giles hands it to Buffy without saying a word. She takes it, sighs, and makes a face as she puts it close enough to Spike that he can suck through the straw. He makes a big to do out of it, so as to disgust her more.) Spike: I don't know why you're so dainty all of a sudden. You've done this for Angel - you must have. (Buffy pulls the mug away, leaving Spike with the straw dangling from between his lips) Spike: Hey! Give it! Buffy: Okay, that's it. The invalid amnesiac routine is over. The kitchen is closed until you can tell me something useful about the commandos. Spike: I'm tryin' to remember. It was very traumatic. Buffy: How long are you going to pull this crap? Spike: How long am I going to live once I tell you? Giles: Look, look, Spike - we have no intention of killing a harmless.. uh, creature.. but we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're .. impotent - Spike: Hey! Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're.. Buffy: Flaccid? Spike: You are one step away, missy. Buffy: (Sarcastically) Giles, help! He's going to scold me. (Spike growls, trying to grab Buffy, but the chains hold him and only make his struggles comical) Buffy: You know what? I don't think you want us to let you go. Maybe we made it a little too comfy in here for ya. Spike: Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub drinkin' pig's blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rank huge in the Zagut's Guide. Buffy: You want something nicer? (She leans her head to the side, exposing her throat to him) A look at my.. poor neck? All bare and tender and exposed.. all that blood just .. pumping away.. (Spike, by this time, is all but licking his lips) Giles: Oh, please. Spike: Giles, make her stop. (Giles walks out of the bathroom and into the living room, speaking to Willow who's reading through some books) Giles: If those two don't kill eachother, I might lend a hand. Willow: What about a truth spell? I'm not positive it would work on a vampire, but we could try. Make him fess up? Giles: A truth spell, of course. Why didn't I think of that? Willow: 'Cause you had your hands full with the undead English Patient? (She hands Giles the book she was reading) Giles: Yes.. We'll have a go. Willow: Looks pretty simple. I'll stop by the magick shop tomorrow. Giles: Excellent. Willow: Alright. I'll be back in the morning with donuts and motherwort. Bye, Buffy! I'll see you at home. Buffy: Bye! Giles: Great. Thank you, Willow. (Willow heads out and Giles heads back to the bathroom, where Buffy is once again feeding Spike through the straw) Giles: Um, Willow may have had a very helpful idea. She seems to be coping better with Oz's departure, don't you think? Buffy: She still has a way to go, but yeah - I think she's dealing. Spike: What, are you people blind? She's hangin' on by a thread. Any ninny can see that. (Cut to Oz's room. It's completely bare. Willow enters and stops, looking around, surprised. Cut to Buffy and Willow's dorm room. Buffy is sitting on her bed and Willow is in her pajamas under the covers of her's, crying) Willow: Devon said that he sent for his stuff. I guess that means he's planning on settling down somewhere.. else. Not here. Buffy: I guess so.. Willow: I feel like I've been split down the center and half of me is lost. Buffy: I know. It feels like that now.. Willow: Oz is gone. (Cut to an aerial view of Sunnydale. Cut to Giles' bathroom where Spike is reaching desperately for the TV, with no success) Spike: (Yells) Come on, now! It's telly time! (Giles is on the phone. The answering machine for Buffy and Willow picks up) Machine: "This is Buffy and Willow. We're not in right now, so please leave a message." Giles: Oh, uh, Willow.. It's Giles. Um.. I thought you were bringing the ingredients for that spell? I really have to- Spike: (v.o.) "Passions" is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I'll- Giles: (Yells to Spike) You'll do what? Lick me to death? (Cut to Spike, pissed off. He tries to break the chain, but to no avail. Cut back to Giles) Giles: Look, uh.. Willow.. I think we ought to try the spell. Among other things, I'd like to shower sometime today. Alone. (He hangs up. Cut to Spike, sighing exasperated in the tub. Cut to Buffy and Riley at their picnic) Buffy: Driving. Riley: Yeah. Buffy: You seriously drive for fun. Riley: Well, not four-wheeling or anything, but yeah. Don't you? Buffy: Actually, no-wheeling is more my specialty. I'm an avid pedestrian. Riley: You're kidding, right? I mean, you know how to drive.. Buffy: Well, I took the class.. Cars and Buffy are, like .. un-mixy things. Riley: It's just because you haven't had a good experience yet. You can have the best time in a car. It's not about getting somewhere. You have to take your time. Forget about everything. Just.. relax. Let it wash over you. The air.. motion.. Just, let it roll. (The air between them has shifted, the situation has become more intense) Buffy: We are talking about driving, right? Riley: Thought I was. (They share a moment, which Riley snaps out of) Riley: I'm taking you. Some night when it's warm. Up past the vineyards - it's going to change everything for you. Buffy: I'm in. (Willow comes wandering up, all downcast.) Riley: Hey, Willow. (Willow mearly smiles in response) Buffy: Hey. Willow: I interrupted. You've got apples. My mist. (She turns to go) Riley: Wait. Sit. There's plenty to go around. (She smiles softly and joins them) Buffy: Did something happen? Is something wrong? Willow: No.. Everything's fine. Same. Buffy: Oh. Willow: Your apples are turning brown, the way they do. Riley: Yeah, I guess they do that. Buffy: Yeah. Willow: Yeah. (Cut to The Bronze. Swinging, as usual. Anya, Xander, and Buffy share a table) Xander: Geez, you mean Oz just sent for his stuff and didn't even call her? That's pretty harsh. Anya: I only wish I had my powers back. I'd liquify his entrails for her. Xander: That's sweet. God, poor Will. No wonder she's- (Cut to Willow, dancing up a storm on the dance floor) Xander: -having a wonderful time. Buffy: Wow. Way to re-bound. Xander: I believe that's the dance of a brave little toaster. (Willow sees them and walks over to the table, just as happy as can be) Willow: Hey, guys! C'mon! This music's great! Xander: It's nice to see you brought your boogie shoes tonight, Will. Willow: Yeah.. I-I know I've been sort of a party-poop lately, so I said to myself, "Self!" I said, "It's time to shake and shimmy it off." Buffy: Sounds like a good policy. Willow: Yeah! And it works, too. You know, I figure, in the grand scheme of things, we're all just- (Willow grabs her jacket and from underneath it falls a bottle of beer, it's contents foaming out) Buffy: Drunk..? (Willow laughs and picks up the bottle) Willow: Drunk.. I mean, that's such a-a strong word. Kind of a guttural Anglo-Saxon word. Drunk. Xander: Will, not loving the drowning of the sorrows. Willow: Not drowning - wading. A-a-and.. See? (She points to the beer bottle) Light. No big. Buffy: No big? Anyone remember when Buffy had the fun beer-fest and went one-million years B.C.? Xander: Sadly without the fuzzy bikini.. Anya: Off topic, Xander. Xander: Right. Topic now. (He gets up and walks to Willow) Will, how about you give me that beer? Willow: No! Why should I? I've got pain, here - big-time legitimate pain. Xander: We all have pain, Will. Willow: Oh, like what? "Oh, poor me.. I live in a basement." Yeah, that's dire. (Xander, offended, just shakes his head and walks back to the table. Buffy stands and takes Willow's arm) Buffy: Okay, you know what? That's it - I'm taking you home. Willow: (Pulls her arm away) No, I don't want to. Buffy: Well, you'll thank me when you still have a friend in the morning. Willow: I just can't stand feeling this way. I want it to be over. Buffy: It will. I promise. But it's gonna take time. Willow: Well, that's not good enough. Buffy: I know. It's just how it is. You have to go through the pain. Willow: Well, isn't there someway I can just make it go away? Just 'cause I say so? Can't I just make it go 'poof'? (Buffy just looks at her. Cut to Buffy and Willow's dorm. Amy the rat is still with us. Buffy is asleep. Willow creeps out of bed and opens the trunk containing all her spell components. Cut to the bathroom. Willow has a circle of red candles surrounding her, an incense censer, a bowl/pentacle in front of her, a goblet of sorts, and three trays containing herbs and such. She is sitting in the middle) Willow: Harken all ye elements, I summon thee now. (She drops something into the bowl/pentacle in front of her.) Control the outside, control within. Land and sea, fire and wind. Out of my passions, a web be spun. From this eve forth, my will be done. So mote it be. (She pours from the goblet into the bowl/pentacle. A flicker of electricity connect her to the candles and all of the flames rise high, signifying the spell's success. Cut to the dorm room the next morning. Buffy is gone. Willow is looking at herself in a mirror.) Willow: It is my will that my heart be healed. Now. (She sighs and puts the mirror down when nothing happens. Picks up the spellbook) I will that this book speak it's words to me. (She sighs again, putting the book down when nothing happens. She picks up a bent Q-Tip) I will that this Q-Tip gets.. unbendy..? (There's a knock at the door) Willow: Come in. (Giles enters, looking slightly worried) Willow: Giles, what are you doing here? Giles: I'm.. a bit concerned about you, actually. Willow: Did Buffy tell you about the beer, 'cause.. Giles: Uh, Buffy didn't tell me anything.. Willow: Oh, well.. forget the beer part, then. Giles: Happily. I came because we had an appointment the other day.. Willow: Oh.. Right, right.. The truth spell. Giles: Yes, um.. Willow.. I know that you're going through a very difficult time.. But, sherking your responsibilities- Willow: But.. I didn't - sherk. I.. Did the research, and I picked up the motherwort, I just forgot the doing the spell part. Giles: Well, that isn't like you at all. Willow: I know. I-I've been off. I-I even tried to do a spell last night. To have my will done? I was hoping it would make me feel better. But it just went ka-blooey. Giles: A spell? I don't think it's wise for you to be doing that alone right now. Your energy's too unfocused. Willow: Well, that's not true. I said I was off, not incompetent. Giles: I only meant that you're grieving, and it might be wise if you took a break from doing spells without supervision. Willow: So I get punished 'cause I'm in pain? Giles: It's not punishment. I'm only saying this because I- Willow: Oh, you care. Yeah. Everybody cares. Nobody wants to be inconvenienced. You all want me to take the time and go through the pain, as long as you don't have to hear about it anymore. Giles: No, that's not fair. Willow: Isn't it? 'Cause I'm doing the best I can and it doesn't seem to be enough for you guys. Giles: And I see how you could feel that way, I do- Willow: No, you don't. You say that you do, but you don't see anything. (Her eyes take on a strange blue gleam as she speaks the words. Giles removes his glasses, suddenly finding his vision a bit blurred) Giles: Um.. Oh, sorry.. Um, sorry. P-perhaps I'd better be going. Let's um, let's talk about this later. (He leaves, walking down the hall in a bit of a daze. He runs into a student) Giles: Oh! I'm sorry.. So sorry. (He puts his glasses back on, quite confused with what is happening. Cut to Spike and Giles in Giles' living room. Spike is still chained up, but sitting on the floor. Giles is walking around him, holding a bundle of burning herbs and reading from a book) Giles: Elobe, enemy, be now, quiet. Spike: You know.. not too keen about this spell stuff. Tends to be a bit unpredictable. Giles: Yes, well, you might have thought about that sooner. Um.. (Continues reading) Let your decietful tongue be.. (Has trouble with he words) Be.. Uh.. Let no.. Untruths.. Be spoken.. (He's having a very hard time making out the words now. He gets frustrated and sets the book down, taking out a handkerchief and cleaning his glasses. Spike, who has been watching this cautiously, glances down and sees the key to the chains by Giles' feet. He slowly reaches for it with his boot) Spike: Hey, what's that all about? Giles: Hm? Oh, nothing. I just got ash in my eye. Spike: Well, I won't have you doin' mojo on me if you can't read properly. You might turn me into a stink beetle or what all. Giles: T'would be a generous ending for you, Spike. (Spike grabs the key and unlocks himself. He jumps up, pushes Giles out of the way, and runs out the door. Cut to Willow and Buffy's dorm. Willow is playing with Amy the rat on her bed) Willow: I mean, I'm going through something. I just don't see why he was getting down on me. Buffy: Giles just worries. Spells can be dangerous. It doesn't mean he thinks you're a bad witch. Willow: I am a bad witch. Buffy: No, you're a good witch. Willow: I'm not kidding anyone. If I had any real power, I could have made Oz stay with me. Buffy: Will, you wouldn't have wanted him to have stayed- Willow: And I didn't have the guts to do the spell on Veruca, and my "I Will it So" spell went nowhere. The only real witch here is fuzzy little Amy. Buffy: I think you're being a too hard on yourself. Willow: She's got access to powers I can't even invoke. I mean, first - she's a perfectly normal girl.. (Rat morphs to naked Amy on Willow's bed. Amy smiles excitedly.) Willow: Then poof - she's a rat. (Amy morphs back into a rat) Willow: I could never do something like that. (The phone rings. Buffy answers it) Buffy: Hello? Uhh.. I'll be right there. (Hangs up) Spike escaped. Willow: A-and you're going? Now? Buffy: Sorry - duty thing. Willow: Well, I mean, what's the rush? Spike can't hurt anyone, right? And I figured since I'm kinda grievey, would could, uh..you know, have a girl's night. We could eat sundaes and watch Steel Magnolias and you can tell me how, at least I don't have diabetes. Buffy: Will, I can't hang out with you until I get Spike back to Giles, you know that. Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise. Willow: I don't see the big. He's probably just standing out there. You could find him in two seconds.. (Her eyes do the blue glow thing again. Cut to Spike standing outside, looking around confused. Buffy sees him and looks confused herself.) Buffy: Thought that was gonna take longer. Spike: Me too. Musta got.. turned around.. (He searches about for something, searching the ground with his eyes) Spike: Hang.. hang on, this- this is it. Wait.. no.. yes. Buffy: What are you talking about? Spike: The lab. Commando lab. The door was right here where I escaped. (He gestures to the ground which is covered with grass, no sign of a door of any kind. Just a lawn.) Buffy: (Incredulous) I don't think so. (Spike falls to his hands and knees, tearing at the ground) Spike: Open up! I'm gonna kill you! Buffy: Spike, there's nothing there. Spike: Let me in! (Dejected) Fix me.. Buffy: Okay, drop the act.. (She grabs him by the arm, but he pushes her away) Spike: Get off! Buffy: Okay, that's it- I'm gonna gag you. (He punches her in the nose, then yells in pain. She punches him back in the nose; he yells in pain again. Cut to Giles in his bathroom. He's putting drops in his eyes. Buffy and Spike come barging in through the front door, Spike once again tied up) Spike: Hey! Watch it! Buffy: One more word out of you, and I swear.. Spike: Swear, what? You're not gonna do anything to me. You don't got the stones. Buffy: Oh, I got the stones. I got a whole bunch of .. stones. Spike: Yeah? You're all talk. Buffy: GILES! I accidentally killed Spike. That's okay, right? (Cut to bathroom. Giles is distracted) Giles: Uh..uh..um.. Just a minute.. (Cut to Xander's basement. Willow's pacing back and forth, complaining about Buffy. Xander sits idly by and listens) Willow: I mean, I'm going through something. You'd think every once in awhile Buffy would make best friends a priority. Xander: You know, Will, it's not like she could just let Spike go. (Cut to Giles' living room. Buffy slams Spike down into a chair) Spike: (Sneering) I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks. Buffy: Oh, make a move - please. I'm dying for a good slay. (They glare at eachother. Cut back to Xander's basement) Willow: Spike's more important than me. I get it. Xander: Buffy's gotta find out what's up with those commandos. Right now she needs Spike. Willow: Well, fine. Why doesn't so just go marry him? (Willow's eyes go blue-glowy. Cut to Giles' apartment. Giles comes out of the bathroom) Giles: If the two of you could remain civil long enough to- (Cut to Buffy sitting in the chair Spike was once occupying, Spike on his knees in front of her, holding her hand) Buffy: It's just so sudden. I don't know what to say. Spike: Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth. Buffy: Oh, Spike! Of course it's yes! (They embrace and kiss and it's overall mushy. Giles walks forward and takes off his glasses, quite baffled by the whole thing. Buffy sees Giles) Buffy: Giles! You'll never believe what's happened! (Buffy holds up her now ringed ring-finger. Giles just stares like he's gone crazy. Cut to Xander's basement.) Willow: It's just not fair. Xander: Willow, I know it's hard to see it right now, but everything you're feeling is because of you and Oz. Not because of Buffy and me or anybody. But eventually you'll meet somebody else, and it'll be better. Willow: Yeah, 'cause most relationships are great and trouble-free. I don't think so. I think we're all doomed to badness. Xander: We're not doomed. Willow: Oh, yeah? Let's-let's look at your bio. Insect Lady, Mummy Girl, Anya.. You're a demon magnet. Xander: I was just trying to help. (Cut to Gile's apartment. Giles is on the phone, talking to Willow's machine) Giles: Willow, it's-it's me. Something's happened. I need your help. I can't see very well. Everything's blurred. (He grabs the scotch) I'm certain it's a spell of some kind, because.. well..it seems something else is going wrong.. (Cut to Buffy bring Spike a mug of blood. She sits on his lap) Buffy: Here you go .. 98.6. (They kiss) Giles: .. horribly wrong. Buffy: There's so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception.. Spike: Well, first thing I'd say, we're not having a church wedding. Buffy: How 'bout a daytime ceremony. In the park. Spike: Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust. Buffy: Under the trees. Indirect sunlight, only. (Giles makes his way carefully into the living room, glass of scotch in hand. He takes a seat on the couch) Spike: Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again - you're registering as Mr and Mrs Big-Pile-of-Dust. Buffy: Stop it! This is our wedding and you're treating it like a big joke! Spike: Oh, pouty! Look at that lip.. gonna get it.. gonna get it.. (She giggles and they kiss and such) Buffy: (Playfully) Oh.. stop.. Giles: Yes, please stop. (Giles takes a good swig of his drink. Buffy holds her hand out in Giles' direction) Buffy: Giles, did you see my ring? Giles: Thankfully, not very well. (Giles leans back and rubs his eyes. Buffy gets up from Spike's lap and goes to sit beside Giles) Buffy: I'm not crazy, and I know that you probably don't approve, and my father's not that far away, I mean, he could- but this day is about family - my real family - and I would like you to be the one to give me away. Giles: (Touched) Oh, Buffy! That's.. that's so.. (Comes to his senses) Oh! For God's sake! This is nonsense. Something is making you act this way. Don't you realize what you're doing? (She smiles and looks back at Spike) Buffy: Living a dream. Giles: He's gonna have to take a bit of time to get used to it, pet. Buffy: they all will. (She turns back to Giles) But you guys wern't crazy about Angel at first, either. (Spike gets upset) Spike: You wern't gonna say that name. Buffy: Sorry. Why don't we talk about where we're going to register. Spike: Well, where would Angel like to register? And can we have the photographer Angel would've wanted? And, flowers Angel would have liked? Buffy: (Stands) Hey! You think I don't live with the shadow of Drusilla over my head? That I'm not wondering if you're going to be thinking of her on our honeymoon when you're making.. sweet love to me..? (She walks to Spike and sits in his lap. They, you guessed it, kiss. Giles reaches for his glass of scotch, knocking it to the floor.) Buffy: Giles are you okay? Giles: I rather think not. I seem to be rather.. rather.. blind. Completely, in fact. (Buffy walks over to him, concerned) Buffy: What? How could this happen? (She waves her hand in front of his face. Spike stands and walks to the bookshelf) Giles: A spell, I believe. Buffy: Well, we'll fix it. Don't worry. Spike: What you want is a general reversal spell. Gonna need supplies. Giles: Are you.. helping me? Spike: Well, it's almost like you're my father-in-law, in'nt? Buffy: See? This is how it's gonna be. Spike'll even take care of you while I'm at the magick shop. (Buffy stands and walks to Spike who takes her in his arms) Buffy: From now on, we're a family. (They- you know the drill. Giles gets all panicky. He stands and wobbles his way to the kitchen) Giles: That's alright. I have more scotch. (Cut to Buffy exiting the magick shop. She stops in the middle of the street, staring at a window display of a beautiful wedding gown. She walks over to it, memorized. In the background, we see Riley walking by. He sees her and walks up) Riley: Hey, Buffy. What's up? (Buffy turns back, staring at the dress) Buffy: Riley, look - aren't they beautiful? Riley: Um, yeah.. they're nice. A little dressy, maybe.. for school, but.. (Buffy walks towards him) Buffy: Riley.. Riley: Buffy? Buffy: I really like you. I hope you know that you mean a lot to me, and if things were different- Riley: Different than what? (She takes his hand. He looks rightly confused) Buffy: I want you to promise me that we can always be friends, and I'd really like you to be there on "The Day". Riley: The day when.. Buffy: The wedding! Riley: The wedding. What wedding? Buffy: My wedding! I'm getting married - can you believe it? Riley: I don't think "no" is a strong enough word. Buffy: I know! It's crazy! I mean, we fought for all these years, and then.. Sometimes you just look at someone, and you know.. You know? Riley: No.. Buffy: I think maybe we fought because we couldn't admit how we really felt about eachother. Riley: (Confused) Can we start again? Buffy: You'll really like him. Well, nobody really likes him.. Riley: I just need to clear a few things up.. Buffy: I don't even really like him.. Riley: Buffy.. Buffy: But.. I love him. I do. Riley: Who? Buffy: What? Riley: What's his name? Buffy: Who? Riley: The groom. Buffy: Spike! Riley: That's a name? Buffy: Don't be mad. Riley: I'm not mad! Buffy: No, you are mad! Riley: No, I am! Er.. I really.. Wow. Who is this guy? Does he go here? Buffy: Spike? (Laughs) Oh, no.. He's totally old. Riley: Old. Buffy: Well, not as old as my last boyfriend was. Riley: (Befuddled) Okay.. It's late.. and I'm, I'm very tired now. So, I'm just gonna go far away and be.. away. Buff: But- Riley: No, stay. (Riley walks off, looking extremely confused. Buffy just stands there, watching him go, a forlorn look on her face) Buffy: You're ruining my happy day. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to Xander's basement) Xander: That's okay, mom - we don't need anymore snacks. Anya: I liked those fruit roll-ups. Xander: Shush, I thought she'd never clear out. Besides, just think of my lips as, the fruit roll-ups of love. (Pause) Okay, that was gross. I'm a little distracted. Willow was really upset. I shouldn't have let her go away mad. (Anya grabs him and kisses him hard) Xander: Regaining focus. Anya: We just got rid of your mom. Let's not bring Willow into this. It's time for just the two of us. (They kiss and fall down on the bed. Suddenly, a demon busts through the side door. They jump up. Xander runs at the demon and it tosses him aside. Anya goes after it with a bat, but it grabs the bat from her. Xander jumps back up, grabs his clothesline and tries to strangle the thing.) Anya: No, no, it's a Pargo demon! Drowning it's the only way to kill it! (They drag the thing over to the sink, shoving it's head under water. As soon as the demon drowns, another busts through the window above the sink) Xander: What the hell is going on?! (Xander grabs Anya and they run off. Cut to Giles' apartment. Buffy is holding the cake topper- a man and a woman, both blonde- and walking them up Spike's arm, humming the wedding march.) Buffy: Duh dum, da-da.. Duh dum, da-da, duh dum da da dum da da dum da da.. (Giles is laying on the couch, a towel over his eyes) Giles: So the plan is to cure my total, incapacitating blindness .. tomorrow. Buffy: (Unconcerned) They were all out of Tagas Root at the magick shop. They'll have more tomorrow. I'm completely on top of it. (Looks to Spike, holding the figurines up) Buffy: Aren't they a perfect little us? Spike: I don't like him. He's insipid. Clearly human. Buffy: Oo, red paint. We could smear a little on his mouth - blood of the innocent.. Spike: That's my girl.. (He grabs the back of her head and pulls her into a kiss) Giles: Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking. (Buffy and Spike stop. Buffy sets the figurines down and picks up a notebook from the table) Buffy: Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you wanna be William the Bloody, or just Spike? 'Cause, either way, it's gonna look majorly weird. Spike: Where as the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance. Buffy: What's wrong with Buffy? Giles: Huh.. such a good question. Spike: (Ignoring Giles) Well, it's a terrible name. Buffy: My mother gave me that name. Spike: Your mother, yeah, she's a genius. Buffy: Don't you start in on my mother. (Anya and Xander suddenly burst through the front door. Everyone stands as Xander pulls a bookshelf in front of the door.) Xander: Board up the windows, and barricade the doors. Giles: What's going on? Anya: Demons. They keep coming and coming. Xander: I think we lost them, but I couldn't see. (Sees Spike) Spike! He's all untied! (Pause) Which you probably noticed.. Buffy: Xander, calm down, okay? If you lost them, that'll give us some time to figure this out. (To Spike) Maybe the demons have something to do with Giles being blind. Anya: Giles is blind? (Xander walks over to Giles and starts waving his fingers in front of Giles' face) Giles: Please stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups. Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed. Buffy: (Hanging on Spike's arm) Spike's right. We really should get organized. (Xander and Anya are staring at Spike and Buffy) Anya: Why are you holding hands? (Buffy and Spike look at eachother lovingly) Spike: They have to hear it sooner or later.. Buffy: (Excitedly) Spike and I are getting married! Xander: (Baffled) How? What? How? Giles: Three excellent questions. Spike: (To Buffy) What are you lookin' at? Buffy: The man I love. (They kiss. A lot. Anya and Xander look a bit disgusted) Xander: Can I be blind, too? (Anya nods in agreement) Xander: Wait.. married.. I know something.. what is it..? Everything's so familiar.. Work, brain - work! Oh! Oh oh! Willow! Buffy: (Talking around the kissing) Mm..what about Will.. Mmm, honey, get off. (Pulls away from Spike) Xander: Something about Willow and her griefy-poor-me mood swings - so, so tired of it. Anya: You mean I don't have to be nice about her anymore? Buffy: Well, we're all tired of it, but what does it have to do with what's going on? Xander: She told me I was a demon magnet, a-and you two should get married. (Gestures to Spike and Buffy) Giles: (Coming to realization) And.. that I didn't see anything. Buffy: She did a spell. Giles: Yes.. to have her will done. Whatever she says is coming true. Buffy: And you both were effected. I probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity. Xander: Yeah. Right. You're marrying Spike because you're so right for eachother. Buffy: Xander. Spike: That's it - you're off the usher list. Giles: People, Willow is out there and she probably doesn't know what she's doing. Xander: We gotta find her. Buffy: Before somebody gets really hurt. (Giles nods in agreement and starts forward, falling over his couch and landing on the other side. Cut to Willow walking down the hallway in Stevenson Hall. She walks into her room and is snatched up by a demon, placing one hand on each side of her head, causing electricity-like bolts to wind around her head. Cut to Buffy, Spike, Xander, and Anya walking down the hallways of Stevenson Hall) Xander: Why does he have to come? (Indicating Spike) Buffy: Xander, Spike is going to be my husband. I want him included. Spike: I agree with Xander here. Seems like a lot of work for people who hunt us. Buffy: Spike, these are my friends. Besides, it's kinda my job. Spike: (Pats her hand) For now. Buffy: What? You want me to stop working? (The open the door to Buffy and Willow's room. All enter save Spike who remains outside talking) Spike: Let's see - do I want you to give up killing all my friends? Yeah, I've given it some thought. (Cut inside Buffy and Willow's dorm room. There's a large circle burnt into the carpet) Buffy: This is burned. Anya: Ta'hoffren. bstrd, he's opened a portal here. Buffy: Who? Spike: Oh, fluffy. (Cut to Spike, holding up one of Buffy's skirts - an orange one with orange fuzzy stuff around the bottom) Spike: Wear this to the rehearsal dinner and the whole thing's off. Buffy: Shut-up, honey. Anya: Ta'hoffren. He made me a demon 1120 years ago. Buffy: Why would he attack Willow? Anya: I don't believe he did. (Cut to a pitch black room. Ta'hoffren is speaking to Willow. They are both surrounded by numerous demons of different kinds) Ta'hoffren: You have much anger and pain. Your magic is strong, but your pain - it's like a scream that pierces dimensional walls. We heard your call. Willow: I-I'm sorry. I'll try for a quiet rage. Bye. (She turns to leave, but is faced with demons. Ta'hoffren calls her back) Ta'hoffren: Our intention is not to quash your potential - quite the contrary. (Willow turns back to him, looking scared and confused. Cut to Anya, Xander, Buffy, and Spike walking in the cemetery) Anya: I'd been dumped, I was miserable, doing a few vengeance spells - boils on the pen1s, nothing fancy. Xander: Please skip ahead. Anya: Ta'hoffren got wind of me, he offered to elevate me. Buffy: Meaning? Anya: He made me a demon. Buffy: Oh God, Willow. But, you can summon this guy from this crypt, right? You can make him stop .. oh my God! Wouldn't this be a perfect place for pictures? (She runs up to a crypt with ivy growing all along side it) Spike: I'm not posing for chattal. (A demon wanders their way. Xander sees it and points) Xander: Hey.. demon. (Buffy walks up to the demon) Buffy: Okay, listen - now we're gonna do this without ruining the foliage. (Buffy and the demon go at it. She tosses him aside just as another appears. She realizes that they're just going to keep coming) Buffy: Let's go! (All four of them run inside the crypt, barricading it as best they can. Anya runs to the far side, kneeling down and drawing a circle surrounding herself in the dirt. ) Anya: Blesséd be, the name of Ta'hoffren. Let this space be now a gateway to the world of Arash Ma'har, where demons are spawned. (Cut to Arash Ma'har. Ta'hoffren is still speaking with Willow) Ta'hoffren: The pain and suffering you brought upon those you love is inspiring. You are ready to join us here in Arash Ma'har. Willow: Pain.. What pain? (Cut to Buffy being choked by a demon who's reached through a window.) Spike: Buffy! Xander: Not doin' well here. Anya: (Still chanting) We come in supplication. We bend as the reed.. in the flow of the, uh.. No, wait.. we-we come in the flow of the, uh.. Ugh! (Takes a deep breath) Blesséd be, the name of Ta'hoffren.. (Cut to Buffy, still being choked. She jerks away, running to Spike's side, who, with Xander, has propped a stone sepulcher against the doorway to keep the demons out.) Spike: They're strong, and I can't fight. If they get in, I don't know if I can protect you. Buffy: You think you have to protect me? Spike: Oh, not with the Girl-Power bit! (The demons finally bust their way in. Spike and Xander get their asses kicked and Buffy tries to kick ass. Anya attacks the one attacking Xander and is promptly tossed aside. Cut to Arash Ma'har. Ta'hoffren opens a dimensional rift and allows Willow to see her friends getting their asses kicked.) Willow: Oh, God. But I didn't mean to! Ta'hoffren: But you did. This is the result of your power. You will make a fine vengeance demon. Willow: No, please! You have to help them! Ta'hoffren: It is not my concern. You are my interest in this matter. Willow: Really.. no offense intended.. I mean, you've been super-nice and everything, but.. I don't want to be a demon. I just wanna go back and help my friends. Ta'hoffren: That is your answer? Willow: It-it is. Ta'hoffren. (Menacingly) I'm sorry to hear that. (Lighter tone) Oh well. Here is my talisman. (Holds it up and Willow takes it) You change your mind, give us a chant. (He waves his hand and she disappears. Cut to Buffy struggling with a demon as yet another bursts onto the scene. It knocks Spike on his back. Buffy gets pissed and kicks both the demon's asses and runs over to Spike.) Buffy: Oh, Spike.. are you okay? Spike: Slayer.. (They kiss. Anya and Xander are still beating up on that same demon. Willow suddenly appears in the crypt.) Willow: Let the healing power begin. Let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken. (Thunder crashes and lightening flashes. Suddenly, the demons disappear. Buffy and Spike pull away from eachother, a look of horror and disgust passing over their faces) Buffy: Oh, ugh.. Spike: Oh, bloody hell! (They both jump up, each wiping their mouth and gagging and carrying on so) Buffy: Spike lips! Lips of Spike! (All four of them suddenly realize Willow. They all turn slowly to look at her. She smiles sheepishly and waves.) Willow: Hi, guys. (Cut to Giles' kitchen. Willow is making chocolate-chip cookies. She's putting them on a plate Anya's holding.) Anya: How long are you going to keep making these? Willow: Oh, until I don't feel so horribly guilty. I figure about a million chips from now. Also, I have to detail Giles' car. (She takes the plate from Anya and walks over to where Xander and Giles are sitting. Xander is holding up a clock) Xander: Time. Giles: A-ha.. Five past two. Thursday. Willow: (To Giles) Look, cookies. A very not-evil thing I did. Oatmeal? (Giles removes his glasses, takes a cookie and scowls) Giles: Yes, very funny, they're chocolate chip. I can see them. I still need my glasses, though. You could be more specific and give me 20/20. (Willow smiles and walks over to Buffy and Spike. Spike is tied up once more) Willow: Eat a cookie; ease my pain? Buffy: (Takes one, taking a bite) Mm. Better? Willow: Well, baking lifts about 30% of my guilt, but only 7% of my inner turmoil. Guess that'll just take awhile. Buffy: It'll happen. Spike: Don't I get a cookie? Buffy: No. Spike: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth. Buffy: You're a pig, Spike. Spike: Yeah.. well I'm not the one who wanted, "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance. (He says it loud enough for Giles, Anya, and Xander to hear. They all turn to stare at Buffy from the living room. She looks at all of them) Buffy: That was the spell. (Buffy gets all embarrassed and walks into the kitchen. Willow scowls at Spike and shoves a cookie in his mouth. She follows Buffy into the kitchen) Willow: Did I mention about the sorry part? Buffy: We may be into a forgetting spell later. (Astonished) I loved him. He were betrothed. (She makes a face) Willow: Well, at-at least you were getting along. Buffy: But we wern't. I mean, I wasn't even nice. And the bad-boy thing - over it. Okay, I totally get it. I'd be really happy to be in a nice relationship with a decent, reliable.. Oh my God! Riley thinks I'm engaged. Willow: What? Buffy: Riley. He-he-he saw me. What the hell am I going to say?! (Cut to UC Sunnydale campus. Buffy and Riley are walking together. Buffy is laughing) Buffy: You thought I was serious? Riley: Well, no.. um.. you wern't serious? Buffy: Oh, God.. please. I marry a guy named Spike? Riley: Maybe. We haven't known eachother that long. Buffy: No, it's just.. I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time. Riley: I did not have fear in my eyes. Buffy: Yes you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain. Riley: So you decided to tell me you're getting married. Buffy: Uh-huh. Riley: So, you're insane. Buffy: Uh-huh! Riley: But you're still single. Buffy: Yes. Riley: Okay, then. Just another little piece of the Buffy puzzle. Buffy: You really have a lot to learn about women, Riley. (He reaches up, taking hold of the back of her head like he's going to kiss her) Riley: You're gonna teach me. (He smiles and turns, walking away, leaving Buffy staring after him) BLACK OUT	Plan: A: Giles; Q: Who is blinded by Willow's spell? A: Xander; Q: Who is made a demon magnet by Willow? A: Buffy; Q: Who and Spike fall in love and get engaged? A: her mistake; Q: What does Willow realize after her spell goes awry? Summary: A spell by Willow goes awry, blinding Giles, making Xander a literal demon-magnet, and causing Buffy and Spike to fall in love and get engaged. Once Willow realizes her mistake, she goes about reversing it.
Road (Ashley and her dad, Robert Kerwin, are in a car. He is driving her home.) Ashley: Thanks again for brunch, Dad. I had a great time. Robert: Me too, Ash. Ashley: Mr. Simpson is so excited that you're coming to speak to our class tomorrow. So am I. Robert: (As he turns into Ashley's driveway) It should be a lot of fun. Ashley: I can't wait to show you off. Robert: Ashley... Ashley: Yeah? Robert: Nothing, uh, just see you tomorrow (gives her a kiss; Ashley smiles) Ashley: (Gets out of the car) 'Bye, Dad. Robert: 'Bye, Hon. Inside the House (Ashley is entering the kitchen and hears Jeff and her mom.) Kate: You didn't put the vinegar in the dishwasher like I asked you to, right? Jeff: I'm sorry, Kate, I just can't remember things like that. Kate: Come on, that's an excuse Toby would make. Jeff: (Loud) Oh, Kate, come on, you're gonna compare. (To Ashley) You'd better be careful. She's in one of her moods again. Kate: Well, I wouldn't be if you'd grasp the concept of hard water. (To Ashley) Oh, don't worry about that. We're just having one of our things. So, how was brunch? Ashley: Great. Dad told me he went to this royal reception last week and shook hands with Prince Charles. Kate: Wow. Very sheshe. So, uh, did you talk about anything else? Or just, uh, life in London? Ashley: No. Why, was there something else? Kate: No, just me being noisy. I'm glad you had a good time. Degrassi Community School (It starts on a close-up of inside a gold locket with pictures of Terri's mom and dad. Terri is showing it to Ashley.) Terri: My dad gave it to my mom on their first anniversary. She left it for me after she died. Ashley: Terri, it's beautiful. But, your mom, she's so pretty. Terri: My dad called her his movie star. I know, it's pretty cheesy. Ashley: No, it's sweet. You look just like her, you know. Ms. Kwan: (Comes in and closes the door; she has a poster in her hand) Quiet down. Remember, our Lord Of The Flies test is in two days. So, let's use this time in class to catch up on any reading you haven't done. (Terri puts her binder up so she and Ashley can whisper to each other without getting in trouble.) Terri: So, what did your mom think of your dad moving back? Ashley: I'm not sure. Terri: They don't get along? Ashley: No, they get along fine, but, yesterday after my dad dropped me off, she was acting pretty weird. Terri: How? Ashley: I don't know. She just seemed tense or something. And then she and Jeff had this fight. (Ms. Kwan comes over to them.) Ms. Kwan: Ashley! (She walks away.) Terri: So, your dad's still coming to Media Immersion this afternoon, right? Ashley: Yup. You're not going to believe some of the stuff he's uncovered, more than the news. Terri: Wow. Grade 7 Media Immersion (Toby is helping Mr. Simpson.) Toby: Ok, so, all you have to do is highlight this here, and then, you click the hyperlink button and you're done. Mr. Simpson: Good. Emma: (To Sean) Have you finished your haiku for Ms. Kwan yet? Her class is in like 10 minutes. Sean: Have you? Emma: "Ancient waves so pure, lapping on the shores of time. Early death our fault." Sean: That's happy. Emma: That's about our polluted oceans. Sean: Mm-hmm. JT: Hey guys, check this out. (He throws a paper airplane that goes right past Mr. Simpson's head, which make everyone laugh) Mr. Simpson: (He has it in his hand as he gets up) Ok, so who's the aeronautics' genius? (Liberty gets up and approaches Mr. Simpson.) Mr. Simpson: Liberty, this is yours? Liberty: Yes, and I apologize profusely. Mr. Simpson: Well... don't let it happen again. (He sits back down. As Liberty sits back down, she smiles at JT and he smiles back and nods his head at her) Hall Manny: What was with Liberty? She was acting, like, totally weird. JT: She is weird. Toby: Why would liberty, whose never missed a day in her life, put her neck on the line, and for you? Emma: Hello, Liberty has a major crush on JT. JT: What? Emma: Come on, it's so obvious. (JT shakes his head. Liberty approaches.) Liberty: (Gives JT the airplane) I took it when Mr. Simpson wasn't looking. JT: Thanks, but, you didn't have to. You didn't have to take the blame in homeroom. Liberty: Well, you know, you get in trouble so much, someone has to watch your back. Emma: That's very sweet of you Liberty. Liberty: Oh, and by the way, it's time The Grapevine has a 7th grader as Student Pick Of The Week, so, I pick you. JT: Why? Liberty: Well, you know, everyone knows you're gonna be famous one day, so, I just want to say I interviewed you first. JT: Cool. Liberty: So, interview after school? JT: Sure. Liberty: 'K. (Liberty leaves.) Manny: (singing) JT and Liberty (Emma joins in) sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. JT: Would you shut up? She does not have a crush on me. Emma: Sure. Toby: Yeah, right. Ms. Kwan's Class (Sean is reading his haiku and counting the syllables.) Sean: "Poetry is crime, No idea have to rhyme, stupid waste of time." Ms. Kwan: A poem about hating poetry. Since poetry's about putting your feelings into verse, this haiku actually works. Nice job, Sean. Ok, who's next? (Liberty raises her hand) Liberty, come on down. (Liberty gets up and goes to the front of the room.) Liberty: "Smile like a sunbeam, height saboreant to his heart, makes me lie awake." Ms. Kwan: Liberty, wow. One too many syllables in the second line, but your feelings are definitely shinning through. Great work. (Liberty smiles at JT and he gives her a weird smile) Grade 8 Media Immersion where Ashley's dad is talking to the class Robert: Well, they, uh, stitched me up in a field hospital on the cost of old order. I, uh, still have a piece of shrapnel (points to his lower stomach) right here. Uh, but I'm supposed to be talking to you about the role of masscommunication in society, not rehashing old war stories. Mr. Simpson: That's ok. Does anyone else have a question for Mr. Kerwin? Paige: When the shrapnel hit, did your life, like, flash before your eyes? Robert: My life? No, not a bit, but, the bomb blast sure did. (Ashley is smiling as she watches) Gym (Ashley, Terri, and Paige are walking through the gym.) Paige: Ok, I am so in love. Ashley: Paige, he's my father. Paige: Father, smather. Your dad's hot. In an old man sort of way. I can't believe your mom ever let him go. Ashley: Let him go? It didn't exactly happen like that (They are now in the hall) He left us and moved to Europe, there wasn't much my mom could do. Terri: So why did he leave? Ashley: I don't know. Paige: Was there another woman? Ashley: No, he doesn't even have a girlfriend now. They just didn't get along. Paige: Well, maybe now that he's back, maybe your mom and dad will work things out, get back together. (After talking with Mr. Simpson, Ashley's dad comes up to them.) Robert: Hey, Ash. Need a ride home after school? (She nods) Meet you out front. Nice meeting you girls. (He walks away) Terri & Paige: 'Bye, Mr. Kerwin. Ashley: (Imitating Paige & Terri) "'Bye, Mr. Kerwin." Hall (Toby is at his locker.) JT: Toby. Toby, over here. Tobs. (Knocks on a locker he's inside of) (Toby hits one and opens it. He finds JT inside it.) Toby: What are you doing? JT: Avoiding Liberty. Toby: What about your interview? JT: Did you hear her haiku? She wants me, man. I'm out of here. Liberty: JT, you were supposed to meet me seven minutes ago. (Takes his picture with a camera) JT: Ah, Liberty, I forgot to tell you I can't come to the interview tonight. Toby and I've got (Sees a poster for dance lessons) dance lessons tonight. Toby: Right. Tonight it's... ballroom. Liberty: Oh, I get it, it's a joke. JT, you are beyond funny. Dance lessons? With a boy? Anyway, (takes him out of the locker) let's use your humor in the article, but, uh, if you actually want to take dance lessons, you should look me up. JT: (Whispers to Toby) Help! Car. Robert is driving Ashley home. He is pulling into the driveway. Robert: (As he stops the car and Ashley takes off her seatbelt) Here we go. Ashley: Thanks again for talking to our class today, Dad. Have I told you how happy I am that you moved back? Robert: I'm happy, too, Ash. Ashley, can we, uh... (Kate comes outside) Kate: I thought I heard a car. Hey, Robert (gives him a kiss). Robert: Wow, you look great. Kate: I'm holding a bag of garbage. Ash, there's another bag in the garage. Could you get it while your dad and I catch up? Ashley: Sure. (Gets out of the car) Oh, uh, Dad, we're still on for Sunday, right? Robert: Definitely. Ashley: Great. (As she walks away, she watches them talking) [SCENE_BREAK] Kerwin kitchen (Ashley is helping her mom.) Kate: You know, the older your dad gets, the handsomer he becomes. Lucky guy. Ashley: Everyone at school loved him today. Kate: Everybody always loves him. He's the most charming man on the planet. Ashley: You still think so? After everything you guys have been through? Kate: Of course. Your dad and I still care about each other, you know that Ash. Ashley: Gee, it uh, almost sounds like you two want to get back together. Kate: Get back together? No. What makes you say that? Ashley: I don't know. You guys have been acting like there's some big secret lately. Just thought maybe it was something about you two. What, is there something? Kate: Ash... Ashley: He hasn't found some other woman, has he? He's not getting married? Kate: No. Ashley: Well then what? Is he gay, is that what you're trying to tell me? Kate: Ash, there are things your dad and I should have talked to you about a long time ago. Ashley: Mom, I was joking. Kate: It's not a joke. Your dad is gay. (The camera does a close-up on Ashley's shocked face about this news) Hall JT: I don't get it. How can Ashley's dad, like, do it with other guys? Not only that, how does he? Toby: I don't know JT. I didn't ask. JT: Women, ok? Real women, not girls, are sexy. But, guys, I mean, we have muscles, we smell, we have body hair... Toby: You wish. Women can have body hair, too. My aunt Patina has... JT: That's not what I mean. Toby: I don't know, JT. Some people are just gay, I guess. So, how'd your interview with Liberty go? JT: Don't ask, don't tell. Cafeteria (Ashley is sitting at a table pouring chocolate milk. Terri comes to join her.) Terri: Hey, Ash. Can I join you? (Ashley shrugs, so Terri sits down.) Terri: Is everything ok? Ashley: Yeah, everything's fine. Terri: You've been acting weird all day. Ashley: I found out something about my dad. (Paige comes to the table.) Paige: Hey, Ash. Is everything ok? Terri: Paige, we're talking. Paige: Perfect, because I wanted to talk about something, too. (Sits down) Ashley: Paige, I'm really not in the mood. Paige: Concerning your dad. Ashley: What about him? Paige: Ok. I was thinking. Robert Kerwin, handsome, stylish, charming, successful, total catch, right? And yet, still single. Ashley: What's your point? Paige: Well, he could still be hung up on your mom, or, and I'm sure this isn't the case, but, have you ever wondered if maybe your dad's gay? It would explain a lot. Ashley: is this supposed to be a joke? Paige: No, hon, not. (Ashley throws her chocolate milk on Paige) Ashley: (getting up and leaving) Just better mind your own business for once Paige. Paige: But, uh, my oldest brother's gay. Ter, I was trying to help. (Terri tries to help clean Paige up) Outside (At one part, JT and Toby are eating. At a table, Liberty, Emma and Manny are eating. JT and Toby are goofing around, while Liberty is staring at JT.) Liberty: Don't, don't you think I'm making headway with JT? Wouldn't it be something if we became the new Jimmy and Ashley? Manny: Yeah, something. Liberty: Do you think I should ask him out? Or is that even ok to do? Emma: Sure, if you think he likes you back. Liberty: You don't think JT likes me? Manny: JT's a boy. Who knows what's going on in his head? (Liberty looks at JT, but he notices, so she looks away.) JT: Ok, that's it. I'm stood her up, I've ignored her, I've been very rude to her, and she will not take a hint. Toby: Just tell her point blank. You're not interested. JT: Ok, this may sound desperate, but it's a plan. Remember that little talk we had about Ashley's dad and his orientation? Toby: Yeah... JT: Well, you know what coming out did to his marriage. What if I came out to Liberty? Toby: Um... JT: It'd work. You know it would. Hall (Ashley is walking until she sees her dad.) Robert: Ashley. Ashley: I have to get to class. Robert: I've signed you out the rest of the afternoon. Ash, we need to talk, please? Stairs JT: Liberty, wait up. We need to talk. Liberty: I couldn't agree more. You first. JT: You'll be the only person who knows what I'm about to tell you, and, uh, I'd like to keep it that way, ok? So, do you promise you can keep a secret? Liberty: Ok, I promise. JT: Cross your heart and hope to die, promise? Liberty: Yeah. What is it? JT: I'm gay. Liberty: What? JT: I like boys, not girls. Gay. Liberty: You, you're joking. JT: No, I'm not. And I thought you should know since you think we... Liberty: You thought I had a crush on you? Please. Of course I don't. JT: Ok, well, um, great. It's a lot easier than I thought it would be. You wanted to tell me something? Liberty: No. It's not important. But thanks for letting me know, and, uh, it's our little secret. Outside (Ashley is talking with her dad.) Ashley: So were you ever planning on telling me? Robert: Ash, you were too young to understand. Ashley: Too young? When you left us, ok, but, you guys had five years. Robert: Well, we didn't handle it correctly, I admit, but, we thought it would be best if we waited till you were older. Ashley: Guess what? I'm older. Robert: And it's still pretty hard to hear, right? (She nods) This is gonna sound so selfish, and, uh, incredibly lame, but I had to find myself, Ash. Even if it meant hurting you and your mother. It's nobody's fault, and it's not wrong. It's just the way I am. Ashley: So, why did you even get married? You didn't love Mom. Robert: Ash, of course I did. I still do. But, I'm not in love with her. I tried to make it work, but I just couldn't. And I hate myself for hurting you. But it was the only thing I could do. Honest. (He holds Ashley close to him) Media Immersion Toby: I can't believe that worked. No, I can't believe you used that excuse. JT: Ok, there she is. It's time to cement the deal. (Kind of high pitched and acting weird) Hey Liberty girlfriend! (Walks to his seat with his hands on his knee and tilts his head) Toby: Maybe you should tone it down. (Puts his arm around Toby. Liberty walks out as Mr. Simpson is coming in. He looks at JT and Toby and Toby takes JT's arm off him and they turn their chairs around) Ashley and Robert Kerwin Ashley: Have you, you know, been with... Robert: Other men? (She nods) Mostly just one man. Christopher. Ashley: Christopher? Robert: My partner. He's a great guy. Ashley: Christopher. Robert: Mm-hmm. Ashley: The blond guy with the mustache. The guy we went to the zoo with the day I got that horrible sunburn. Robert: Mm-hmm. Ashley: The guy you said was a friend from work. Dad, we had him over for dinner at our house. Robert: Honey... Ashley: You left us for him. Robert: Ash, it's not that simple. We fell in love. I'm sorry, but, I just don't know how else to say it. Ashley: No. Robert: Ash... Ashley: how could you do this to me?! Robert: You see, this is exactly why I wanted to wait until you were older so that you would understand. Ashley: Understand? Robert: Yes, and not just hate me. Ashley: For what Dad, huh? For knowing that you were gay or for knowing that all you've ever done is lie to me?! Robert: Ashley... (Ashley walks away quickly back into Degrassi.) Hall JT: Liberty, didn't you hear what I said earlier? Liberty: Loud and clear. And though it came as a shock, I should have seen it coming. Dance lessons? And that boy band compilation CD you own? JT: That's my sister's CD. Liberty: Whatever. So I was thinking, wouldn't it be great, I mean, you could say no, but, wouldn't it be great if you came out in The Grapevine? JT: What? Liberty: Well, you know, as part of the interview to help other kids struggling with the same issue? JT: Liberty, I don't think that's a very good idea. Liberty: JT, there's nothing to be ashamed- JT: Liberty, I'm not gay, ok? Liberty: You lied? JT: Yeah, 'cause you wouldn't take a hint. Liberty: Am I really that horrible? JT: Liberty... Liberty: If you didn't like me, you should have just said so. (She walks away) Hall (Ashley is at her locker.) Terri: Ash, where were you after lunch? Ashley: Nowhere. Just, leave me alone. Terri: Ash, come on. Something happened. Ashley: You wanna know what's happening? My dad came here to tell me not only is he gay, but, he dropped out of my life because of his boyfriend. Is that what you wanted to hear? Does that explain it all for you? Terri: Ash, come on. Ashley: I'm come to a decision. My dad is cut out of my life, for good. Terri: Ash, come on. Ashley: I have my mom, I have Jeff, I even have Toby. I don't need him. Terri: Ash, what you found out, of course you're upset, but you don't mean that. Ashley: Don't tell me what I mean, ok? You have no idea what I'm going through. Terri: My mom died, Ash. She's never coming back. But you? You have your dad back. Ashley: Terri, it's not the same. Terri: No, it's the same. You wanna know why? Because you have a choice, I don't. Don't make the wrong one. (Terri walks away)	Plan: A: Ashley's dad; Q: Who is coming home from Europe? A: her life; Q: What does Ashley cut her father out of when she finds out he's gay? A: the biggest crush; Q: What does Liberty have on J.T.? Summary: Ashley's dad is coming home from Europe, and she's happy, until she finds out he's gay and cuts him out of her life. Meanwhile, Liberty has the biggest crush on J.T., but he's not interested. When he hears about Ashley's father, he tells Liberty he, too, is a homosexual.

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