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4,900 | I got a call from Redditor friends about 4 hours after the images was initially posted on the internet. They were saying I was number one on Reddit, and gave no explanation, so I assumed whatever it was was really bad, but I was racking my brain as to what it could have been. \n\nWhen I finally saw the photo I laughed for about an hour. It was just surreal. It's still surreal. | {
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4,901 | then they could have like a monitor connected to it on a hinge so you could just fold it up when you're not using it | {
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4,902 | Shit, I just recognized your username now. | {
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4,903 | He wanted to be the only one to paint her face from time to time. | {
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4,904 | I see what you did there. | {
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4,905 | Legends say she continues to talk to this very day. | {
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4,906 | the fuck is wrong with you? you just spend the day randomly punching the air? | {
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4,907 | Boy, that escalated mildly. | {
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4,908 | It's because we have no money left\n\n\nSent from my iPhone | {
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4,909 | And also, they are using humans as an energy source, like they could somehow get more energy out of a human than they put into it in food. Apparently the machines didn't know about the Second Law of Thermodynamics. | {
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4,910 | >Video stores.\n\nHe said 40 years, not 5.\n\n_edit_: I can't believe this is my highest rated comment ever. I hate all of you. ;P | {
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4,911 | Fox report: Cooties vaccine makes you gay | {
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4,912 | It might be one of those super douchy denim arm bands. | {
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4,913 | To be fair , we are much closer to ISIS than the U.S.A , so they pose more of a threat to us. Hence the attack. | {
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4,914 | ohh ohh, have a look at mr. high and mighty "I'm too good for real ice cream just because it's served by anus" over here | {
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4,915 | Your mom was probably trying to save the roof of your mouth from ongoing destruction. | {
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4,916 | Yeah, it's pretty terrible when you wanna be active but it prevents trolls from having too much fun.\n\nIt's something like 1 comment every 10 minutes, then if you get 10 karma it's every 5 minutes. I could be wrong but I know it's unlimited once you reach 100 karma. | {
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4,917 | I want to read 6 and 7 but I'm stuck in the 4-5 loop. | {
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4,918 | I heard the script originally stated that the human brains were being connected to be the processors for a huge computer used by the machines. They figured the older audience wouldn't understand and changed it to energy. | {
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4,919 | I feel like she's so far up her own ass not even the tip of Jay Z's dick can find her.\n\nEdit: Thanks for the gold! It was so worth the harassment from Beyonce fans! | {
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4,920 | **takes notes for his d&d campaign | {
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4,921 | They're not mutually exclusive | {
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4,922 | I know what you mean. I organized a threesome with two ladies the other day. A couple of them didn't show up, but I still had a good time. | {
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4,923 | I used to totally stress about being clean and not eat the night before, do a super intense enema, sleep with a butt plug in. Anal was enjoyable, but I thought of it as too much prep work to do in my personal life. *Then* I started having anal sex off camera and realized that I was just as clean 95% of the time and waaaay less stressed about it. I think the key is to just eat healthy things and not have buttsex when you need to poop. | {
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4,924 | That joke is always funnier if you make the zoo a specific zoo. | {
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4,925 | MEOW\n\n\nYES THIS IS CAT | {
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4,926 | He's dying on the inside. | {
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4,927 | Girl with fat vagina here, I have to admit I'd let him inside my fat vagina. | {
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4,928 | >he measure of a good relationship isn't how a couple behaves while everything is perfectly ok, it's how they interact while the chips are down and things are shit.\n\nI wish I could upvote this 100 times. One of the main reasons I married my wife was because she was still reasonable when angry. | {
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4,929 | STEVE. I AM A GIRL NAMED STEVE. | {
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4,930 | We meet again, Mr.Awesome. | {
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4,931 | I heard him give a great talk during a Planet Comicon panel last year. Apparently the working conditions were horrendous for everyone and that was without the sexual harassment to consider. He had very negative things to say about the company and their treatment of the entire cast. | {
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4,932 | shut\n\nyour\n\nbitch\n\nmouth | {
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4,933 | "I want to sex your monkey" | {
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4,934 | Rapist think all men are rapists. This is backed by tons of interviews and studies of rapists and potential rapists.\n\nThis shows us that the most effective way to fight rape is to fight rape culture, and to teach our fellow men that, no, that isn't fucking cool. | {
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4,935 | CS, Starcraft, Mass Effect, League, Skyrim, RUNESCAPE! | {
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4,936 | It also lets you cheat in online games, or so I always told people playing Starcraft. I won so many games that way.\n\nEdit: holy shit I never expected so much sweet karma from a reply, let alone so many awesome replies. Y'all rock. | {
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4,937 | TL,DR: \n\n\n\nBecause it revved up so quickly, the company never had time to develop a working supply chain in Canada, which left its stores short on merchandise and full of empty shelves\n\n\n\n\n\nMore info here: http://www.slate.com/blogs/moneybox/2015/01/15/target_closing_in_canada_these_pictures_show_why_it_failed.html | {
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4,938 | You passed the test, my friend. | {
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4,939 | He had me at "WarToad" | {
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4,940 | Nice username, perfect combo. | {
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4,941 | I'd say metal paper is a more apt name for Aluminum foil than Tin foil is. | {
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4,942 | Hydrogeologist here! This happens when the ice freezes slowly (within the temperature range of 32f-27f or 0c- -3c). Clouds form when the ice cools too fast trapping the air. \n\nI'm also not a Hydrogeologist... But I did sleep at a Holiday Inn last night... I'm a dirty liar, I slept in my bed at home. | {
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4,943 | Papa John here.\n\nYou're no longer my son. | {
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4,944 | That is probably the coolest answer anyone could have given, ever.\n | {
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4,945 | Don't be. That happened | {
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4,946 | I wish I knew how to flip over. Actually I already knew that. Never mind, I already knew that. | {
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4,947 | Already a true redditor. | {
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4,948 | There is literally nothing on this planet that I would get that enthused about. Nothing. \n\nEdit - Stop trying to fix me Reddit, I like being broken. | {
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4,949 | this is why i make sure to dirty them up before I check out, I am doing you all a service | {
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4,950 | I was reading through this thread, going "wow, a lot of people's parents lied to them, I'm glad my mom was always pretty truthful with me."\n\nThen I got to this comment. \n\nI still knead the damn cheese, and anything else squishy that comes in a packet. | {
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4,951 | You should have said, "You have to jump this high" and then uppercutted her into space. | {
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4,952 | She found a way out. | {
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4,953 | And then. You masturbate. | {
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4,954 | You'd have to calculate, but I do have 150 suspenders. I have a lot more ties than suspenders though. | {
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4,955 | Love of citizenship. | {
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4,956 | It's actually ventral. | {
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4,957 | That's what we call a Freudian sli... I forgot what I was talking about on account of all the sex thinking I was doing.\n\nEdit: My inbox is full of "When you say one thing but you mean your mother" jokes. Whoever said it first gets all of them sweet-ass internet points. The rest of you are just unoriginal schmucks. | {
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4,958 | breast size has some correlation with the amount of overall body fat, though. there are some girls who are very thin but endowed and vice versa, but if you look at whole populations breast size goes up and down with weight. penis size is a genetic lottery. | {
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4,959 | Apparently there was such a large North American civilization, too. They were reduced to wandering tribes after a huge plague *before* English colonists reached the Americas. | {
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4,960 | They have been friend-zoned so hard that they can't even buy their way out of it, which is apparently an available option! | {
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4,961 | That's not normal now. That was fucking weird. | {
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4,962 | And just like that, celery sales throughout the world skyrocketed overnight. | {
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4,963 | I am forever amused when the religious reaction to masturbation is to remark that their god is a voyeur. | {
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4,964 | I called the rape advice hotline the other day. Apparently it's only for victims. | {
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4,965 | JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD \n\nEdit: Oh my goodness thanks for the gold! Could I BE any more excited?! As a disclaimer I had no idea Friends was now on Netflix so I shouldn't get credit for being relevant. | {
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4,966 | I can't believe that that wasn't the first thing that she thought. It was the first thing I thought. | {
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4,967 | We don't have to imagine anymore. Don't you remember the torture report that was released a few weeks ago? Maybe a month ago. | {
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4,968 | I like him, already. \n\nEdit: needs, more commas. Original post, had none. | {
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4,969 | And the 2017 iPhone will simply cost £20 more than in US. | {
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4,970 | I work champagne brunch every Sunday and while there are people who put back plate after plate, most people don't eat that much. \nAnd everything you said is true. | {
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4,971 | brb editing all the wifes bookmarks | {
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4,972 | tl;dr: STOP! HAMMERTIME! | {
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4,973 | yup. turning 21 when i was 17 was easily the best decision i made as a high schooler | {
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4,974 | "I wish the holocaust happened." | {
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4,975 | A robot that shoots tumors. | {
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4,976 | One of the best things I've read from the comment section:\n\n"If your faith can be shaken by a drawing, then you have none." | {
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4,977 | That friend of his checking in. Hi. | {
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4,978 | Clean until proven dirty. | {
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4,979 | Because people who are allergic to bananas frequently purchase, peel, and then consume bananas. | {
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4,980 | >real money\n\n/r/murica | {
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4,981 | That could actually be the high point in many people's careers. | {
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4,982 | You kidding me? I'll give them 2.50 per million litres. Lets see Nestle beat that | {
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4,983 | And, like any balloon - there are always strings attached. | {
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4,984 | Stockholm syndrome - this was something I did not suffer from. | {
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4,985 | I'm content with my life seeing Larry King type LOL | {
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4,986 | >Former dancer reporting in.\n\n"Mystie_Kitty"\n\n**Story checks out**\n\n | {
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4,987 | Your parents must be so proud | {
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4,988 | "You thought I'd forgotten you, or perhaps you wished I had." | {
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4,989 | Follow up article. \n\nAustralian man bludgeons wife to death with gold nugget. | {
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4,990 | "Artist" such a great way to say asshole. | {
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4,991 | i used to tuck it under the waistband but i had a problem with it poking out\n\nso i pretty much had to wear a turtleneck everywhere | {
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4,992 | Having kids on impulse. | {
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4,993 | It's pretty cool. You fucked the entire world. | {
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4,994 | Hey, this is a violation of the civil war protocol! Everybody knows the kebab man is neutral! Damn amateurs! | {
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4,995 | You gave the wrong one the Mohawk. | {
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4,996 | She didn't want to spook him.\n\nI've heard that Bill Murrays are a beautiful, if strange and elusive, beast. | {
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4,997 | I thought you were suppose to leave facials on overnight? | {
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4,998 | To be honest that guy's a moron. Are restaurants in your area really so scarce that he has to bring a hooker and his wife to the same place?? | {
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4,999 | The Rock is interrupted by the sound of glass shattering in the distance. A momentary silence comes over the studio. \n\n**BA DA BA DAA DAA BA**\n\nStone Cold Steve Austin soars over the crowd on a four wheeler with a case of Budweiser strapped to the back.\n\n\n^^^^I ^^^^really ^^^^don't ^^^^know ^^^^where ^^^^to ^^^^go ^^^^from ^^^^here. ^^^^I'm ^^^^high ^^^^as ^^^^shit. ^^^^^Heeeelp. | {
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