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4,600 | This is a very cute story, but your smiley face is facing the wrong direction. THE WRONG DIRECTION!\n\nGET OFF MY LAWN! | {
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4,601 | "Ok, now Brian this time less retard..." | {
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4,602 | I used to do similar things when waiting for a friend. I'd reach behind the computer next to me and unplug the keyboard or mouse, so if anyone tried to use it, they'd think it was broken and go elsewhere, leaving the computer next to me free for when my friend finally got there. | {
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4,603 | All I can say is I've been advised by a lot of parties. The last thing I want to do is cause any problems for anyone. | {
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4,604 | Protein is protein. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯. | {
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4,605 | I'm a gay male and umm.. we should hang out | {
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4,606 | It's known as "The Red Planet" for a good reason.. | {
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4,607 | Yeah, that "be yourself" thing is bullshit, sometimes you have to look in the mirror and be the change you want to see in the world.\n\n*shamoona* | {
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4,608 | It's called "bird bathing." Basically when in a situation where you may encounter multiple pussies in one day, you simply find a sink and bird bath that shit. | {
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4,609 | There is absolutely nothing un-liberal about telling people of your own community who want to harm others to leave. Liberalism does not mean tolerance of violence and murder. It means tolerance of unviolent and moral means of stopping violence. | {
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4,610 | i'm not saying youre a serial killer, but ironing your pillow cases ups the odds of you being a serial killer by like 500% | {
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4,611 | http://imgur.com/p2Seu | {
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4,612 | OMG this is the best advice ever....I'm officially retracting my TIFU | {
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4,613 | Fuck him, Rhea Perlman is awesome. | {
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4,614 | And just kind of walk around in circles inside? Every now and then head out to the same part of town? Never be able to handle any tasks on your own?\n\nCount me in. | {
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4,615 | This sentence is so 90's it just might explode into a cloud of Beanie Babies. | {
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4,616 | good thing he didn't order chicken too... cuz then he could have been BLCK GUY | {
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4,617 | This thread is freaking me out. | {
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4,618 | Or just have more than 4 GB RAM you fucking peasants | {
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4,619 | 99% of the views would be from Kanye alone.\n\nEdit: In true Kanye fashion I would like to thank myself for getting gilded. I couldn't have done this without me. | {
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4,620 | Snakes on a Plane had a.... plot? | {
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4,621 | That nothing we have is worth hurting anyone else for. It's all fleeting people. Stop seeing race, color, sex, religion, etc.... Theyre all just people, and if you try to love them you won't lose anything. | {
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4,622 | Moxie is very important. | {
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4,623 | I know what it feels like to lose a job to a machine, but to be replaced by a STICK?! Ouch man, that's foul. | {
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4,624 | And dinosaurs ruled the earth | {
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4,625 | Short sentences. Save time. See world. | {
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4,626 | "Clarkson, you infantile pillock." | {
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4,627 | Or, you can piss yourself in a public library like I just did. | {
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4,628 | And some of us are very easily satisfied. We're already glad that you're down there. | {
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4,629 | http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_urticaria | {
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4,630 | "What are you doing Baldrick?"\n\n"Writing my name on a bullet sir"\n\n"Why?"\n\n"Well you know how everyone says there's a bullet with your name on it somewhere right? Well I figured if a owned that bullet, I can't be shot with it. Unless there's another bullet with my name on it, and the chances of that are very small indeed" | {
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4,631 | I can't say there is one. We always figure out a way to deal with that- although perhaps we have to cut corners. I mean, there are a lot of stories we do that are about someone getting maimed or killed and we obviously can't/don't want to maim or kill someone. That's where Buster or someone of his particular talents comes in. | {
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4,632 | Texan here. Never heard of grape jelly on eggs. That sounds gross as shit. | {
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4,633 | At least she figured out how to use the cash register in the end. | {
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4,634 | You can support Hitler, but you can not take my Creed albums. | {
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4,635 | You stumped me. What profession doesn't involve science? Lumberjack? Plenty of science. Bus driving? Hope you have a sense of momentum, torque, traction, and the passage of time. For me, science rules. | {
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4,636 | Can we stop calling scandals -gates? Can't you just say "The iPhone Bending Scandal." There was one gate. It was watergate. Because that's the name of the place it happened in.\n\nEdit: My God. I go away for 6 hours and all of THIS happens? | {
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4,637 | i figured this was a requirement at little caesar's | {
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4,638 | http://imgur.com/fCJRL\n\nCongratulations to OP! | {
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4,639 | How much effort is needed to pull back 3 inches though? | {
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4,640 | Attorney here, seeing a lot of non attorney advice, so...\n\nDo make a police report, just to make a record. Do air bnb. Do talk to an attorney who specializes in civil litigation. Take lots of pictures now. Keep as much communication as possible in writing, such as email. What can be done depends on that states laws, but because this place was rented for PROFIT, you are sitting pretty on the side of the law. Pursue this. There's probably other victims. | {
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4,641 | You dated a spacedick | {
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4,642 | That would be an awful 5 mins. | {
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4,643 | You could start an army | {
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4,644 | Nah man. I'm pretty fucking far from ok | {
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4,645 | "Vintage, I love it." That is the ugliest fucking skirt I have ever seen. | {
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4,646 | "The sad eyes or the angry eyes?" | {
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4,647 | That...that's brilliant. Or crazy. I'm not sure which. | {
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4,648 | wave a few bottles, watch em all flock\n | {
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4,649 | TIL you need rocket scientists to change the paper standard you use | {
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4,650 | Also, the Yakuza does a surprising amount of good for certain areas of the community. Yakuza act as informal policemen in more crowded areas and do keep drugs off the streets. Also in times of immense crisis (like the Kobe earthquake or the Tohoku earthquake/tsunami), Yakuza helped rebuild areas and were able to rebuild certain areas much faster than the government, which, being a government, was held up in red tape.\n\nEdit: spelling | {
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4,651 | You really shouldn't put small things in your ear canal. | {
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4,652 | BREAKING NEWS\n\nVICIOUS DOG ATTACK CAUSES POLICE OFFICER TO SHOOT 13 YEAR OLD 10 TIMES, DOG 5 TIMES | {
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4,653 | Calm down Radio version of Cee-lo Green\n\nEDIT: I'm buzzed. Thanks for the gold stufffffff | {
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4,654 | http://imgur.com/edWhe | {
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4,655 | oh yes, i fly drones profesionnally. And was hired to film and photograph the progress of the build site. visit www.airmaniacs.be to see my stuff, or don't.. | {
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4,656 | Alternately: For the Empire, stop referring to yourself as "the dark side" and your huge project as "The Death Star". Maybe quit naming your stuff like villains and you won't get killed in a galactic rebellion. | {
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4,657 | Reddit, the internet of the front page.\n\nObligatory edit: Jesus, I mixed up Reddit's catch phrase and get gold? Thank you! I will waste it as best as I can. | {
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4,658 | Well I guess then you'll just have to film yours a lot better, won'tcha? | {
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4,659 | Insane + Insane = null, in this case. | {
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4,660 | Well? Did you? \n\nNo answer after half-an-hour. It doesn't look good boys. | {
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4,661 | I'm not sure if this makes me want to try 'shrooms more or less... | {
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4,662 | I'm picturing a young, ripped Putin crying in the corner of a very hot shower. \n\nBut fuck that bitch | {
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4,663 | Inbox: \n\nEmail from: Anonymous\n\nSubject: Odor\n\n\nYou don't know me but your vag smells kbye!\n\nYOUR DEFAULT SIGNATURE IN BIG LETTERS OH NO! | {
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4,664 | Not much. How about you? | {
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4,665 | So who do I send this 3 lb box of hair to now? | {
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4,666 | I don't think it's being a dick to defend yourself when you're attacked with inaccurate information. The guy is basically saying Tom doesn't know what he's talking about because his business was a big failure. No, he had a wildly successful business that he sold for half a billion dollars. | {
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4,667 | Then you swap to butts | {
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4,668 | Standard vaginal discharge. | {
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4,669 | Until reading your post, I thought "New England" referred to the entirety of the U.S.A... but I live in Britain. | {
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4,670 | Yogi here can confirm. Such ass. So flexibility. Negative boner control.\n\nEdit: For the skeptics: 1.) username was made by my friends. I don't sit down much and I workout a lot. 2.) not gay. | {
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4,671 | That is both terrifying and existentially upsetting. | {
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4,672 | This is the second picture of somebodys massive dump I have seen on reddit this week. I fucking hate this website. | {
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4,673 | It is a beautiful thing when the reaction gif used is LITERALLY the reaction to the thing said. | {
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4,674 | Red - Squirted\n\nGreen - Uncontrollable muscle spasms\n\nYellow - Moaning\n\nBlue - She came so hard she temporarily lost consciousness\n\nOrange - She lost control of her bowels from orgasming so much | {
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4,675 | Don't anyone fucking do it. We're not going to have another weed circlejerk here. | {
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4,676 | removing the sack will make your penis look larger. | {
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4,677 | Male NICU nurse. 160 nurses on the unit, there are two guys; me and a gay guy. Can relate. | {
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4,678 | That's alpha as fuck. Did you also proceed to pee all over the new gf and assert your dominance? | {
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4,679 | i just wanted to be in front of people. i always enjoyed that when i was a kid. | {
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4,680 | It's official. /r/AskReddit has become /r/shittyadvice | {
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4,681 | The actual quote which amounts to the same thing: "We did not develop this medicine for Indians," Dekkers said Dec. 3. "We developed it for western patients who can afford it." | {
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4,682 | Little known fact: The key to stopping a fast-moving point-attack hack is to unplug the computer monitor.\n\nEdit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! My network security expertise was bound to come in handy sooner or later. | {
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4,683 | That odd moment when you look at someone's mother and suddenly develop a fetish for large aquatic mammals. | {
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4,684 | Appropriate response.. infact, this is far better than trying to restrain her. That could have escalated to a point that he was forced to defend himself from her. With this video, it is clear that the teacher is attempting to stop the fight and does so quickly.\n\nYay for the responsible adult :) | {
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4,685 | Well, as a guy, I only wear skirts or dresses to formal events, and I never bike to a formal event. \n\n**edit** aaand now my top-rated comment is about wearing a dress... | {
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4,686 | Well that's exactly why they do it. | {
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4,687 | I would frame three copies, in case one breaks. Always good to have a Contingency. | {
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4,688 | >At the end of the 3 days, she got the iPad.\n\nWhich is probably why she is the way she is. | {
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4,689 | > psycho killers\n\nQu'est-ce que c'est | {
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4,690 | "You ever held a basketball before?" "No, I have muscular dystrophy." "WE HAVE SOMEONE EAGER TO WIN A MILLION DOLLARS, FOLKS!" | {
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4,691 | If Bill Nye says something is serious, **IT'S SERIOUS**. | {
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4,692 | I'm a stagehand and props tech - there's a reason I have a t-shirt that says "If You Can See Me, Something Has Gone Horribly Wrong". | {
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4,693 | Didn't see that ending coming. Would have done the same. | {
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4,694 | Its ok, he didn't hear me | {
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4,695 | Indeed boobs in face hugs | {
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4,696 | Not true, I also rock back and forth. | {
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4,697 | Hey... I think I recognize that sofa... | {
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4,698 | HAPPY 2 MONTH ANNIVERSARY! | {
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4,699 | He executed it too perfectly in his acting. When he played off as if he really did screw up his notes, the audience literally thought his whole speech was a sham. Lol brilliant | {
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