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4,400 | wtf he actually did it\n\nEdit: [Okey](http://imgur.com/O84ZixU)\n\nEdit2: [2 years on reddit](http://memegenerator.net/instance/58287171) | {
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4,401 | Ahaha! Classic your mom! | {
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4,402 | It's because it doesn't come out at the same angle or pressure each time | {
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4,403 | All the young kids with the pumped up dicks | {
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4,404 | A friend of mine had his boss walk up to him while waiting to go into the church. Boss handed him the keys his truck and said "There's 10 grand in the back and the tank is full, leave now". Turns out the boss wasn't kidding.\n\ndivorce a year later. She took everything and left him with insane amounts of debt. | {
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4,405 | http://i.imgur.com/BnZUJ.jpg | {
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4,406 | I think I've seen some of these on Facebook set to a blurry background of a flower. | {
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4,407 | Cause of death: not dying | {
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4,408 | He associated speaking with looking and if he couldn't see your face he just didn't realize you could still communicate without watching someone's hands and face | {
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4,409 | Marilyn - Dad, what did you use for your foundation? \n\nMandad - concrete, of course \n\n/r/mandadjokes | {
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4,410 | Shit son I fucking LOVE the movie Tangled. \n\nEdit: Words | {
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4,411 | Humans don't necessarily live at the South pole and they're some there. What's to say the polar bear wasn't conducting Antarctic research? | {
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4,412 | A square is just a circle that has gotten its shit straight. | {
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4,413 | Haters gonna hate ^hate ^^hate ^^^hate | {
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4,414 | /r/nocontext\n\nEDIT: shit guys, my most voted comment is just a subreddit link, fuck you \n\n^(jk, love you, ^but ^seriously, ^fuck ^you)\n\n\nPS: Stop it, it does make sense in context | {
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4,415 | I swear to Christ there was a question about "what happened to that picture of Bobby Knight in Ron's office?". \nWhere did it go?!?!?\nWhat the fuck are you trying to do to me, Reddit?!?!\nYou're not the one. Can you see me right now? | {
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4,416 | Holy shit that's better than gold! Why aren't you jacking that horse off right now?!\n\nedit: Wow my first gold and my highest rated comment by far is about masturbating a horse. I love reddit | {
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4,417 | Player 1 wins.\n\nEdit: To the user who gilded me, I'm so sorry. This is such a low effort comment.\n\nEdit 2: Let's try to bring me down to 1 so I don't feel guilty for being a well-received shitty contributor. | {
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4,418 | I can't tell you how much creepier you made this with the, ':-p' face... | {
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4,419 | Two cows are in a field, one says to the other "I'm really worried about Mad Cow Disease, wouldn't it be awful to have that?" The other cow says "Oh I'm not worried about that, I'm a helicopter!" | {
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4,420 | Yeah Mark! Come on, English the fuck up. | {
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4,421 | Become a boxing champion. | {
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4,422 | Apparently, one of the core beliefs of Scientology is that fear, and negative emotions like it, are a disease that can be overcome. That's a large point of the film's plot. | {
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4,423 | You weren't friendzoned by that girl, you just never made an effort, or she *doesn't find you attractive*. | {
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4,424 | ATGATT: All the gear all the time. \n\nSweating is more comfortable than skin grafts | {
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4,425 | Fearing for their "safety"? Did I actually read that correctly? Safety from being seen with* a dude who said a word he was asked to say. \n\nHoly fuck. There's stupidity and then there's this. | {
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4,426 | And just as your jaw hits the ground, OP comes out of nowhere and ejaculates in your mouth. But that's not the dickish part. | {
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4,427 | "I have been told by many of my friends that my Frostbutt Irelia skin that I received from the mystery skin distribution is sexy, wonderful, and awesome. I, unfortunately, can't tell. I'm gay and she just looks like Irelia to me. But thank you for making me look hot to my opponents and teammates." | {
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4,428 | >I would hate to be this *deer* in about five years\n\nFTFY shitlord | {
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4,429 | His secret is being really good looking.\n\nThat or this story never happened. | {
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4,430 | Thanks Austria. Nice place otherwise. | {
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4,431 | No need to clarify that it's big. We all have seen your wife. | {
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4,432 | Especially when it gets in your eyes. Game changer. Fuck that's a life changer. You don't ever get that shit out. You just become hash eyes begging on the street | {
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4,433 | I am consistently amazed by both the number of novelty reddit accounts and how they always seem to show up in exactly the right thread.\n\nEDIT: Nice, now I'm a fatcat. Thanks! | {
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4,434 | This is my first and probably last comment in this entire thread.\n\nI just want to tell you that what they did is fucked and you didn't deserve it. It's no wonder that you have the problems that you do.\n\nAlso, I want to say that there are some very good women out there. If you find one let her know.\n\nJust look at the responses to your post. People generally care and want you to be happy. | {
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4,435 | and it sticks to the ribs | {
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4,436 | nobody knows what she's about | {
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4,437 | > happiest little lobster\n\nNow I'm sad | {
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4,438 | I could see him spelling it "*Maxi1000000*". | {
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4,439 | Clean joke thread CLEAN JOKE THREAD | {
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4,440 | There are like 9 total ingredients at Taco Bell, all sealed hygienically, stored at the proper temperature, and heated to kill everything.\n\nThis is based on a standard process that has been repeated and perfected millions of times. \n\nIf you get diarrhea from Taco Bell, you are an evolutionary failure. | {
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4,441 | Turn on, Turn off, Turn on, Turn off, clap 3 times, Turn back on, face northeast, hit volume up 17 times, hum the theme song to mash, hit left right left right up down up down select power. That easy. | {
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4,442 | Maybe Fischer thinks that all asians look the same? Ever think of that? Huh?\n\n\nEdit: Forgot a letter | {
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4,443 | Little spoon is best spoon. Your arms don't fall asleep. She'll touch your weiner everynow and again. Sometimes I get my head scratched. All in all little spoon all the way. | {
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4,444 | If you can't be married to her for the rest of your life, at least let her be married to you for the rest of hers. | {
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4,445 | No that's just Bavaria, it's the Texas of Germany. | {
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4,446 | every dollar you earn, pretend you only have 25 cents. | {
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4,447 | Nslaves. \n\nThe n is silent. | {
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4,448 | Or when somebody is trying to "hack" their system. "He's good. But I'm better!" as they clackety clackety clackety and try to stop them.\n\nAnd then some stupid skull and crossbones logo or some shit pops up on the screen. | {
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4,449 | Just do what i would do any other day really. | {
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4,450 | Alcohol can make me pretty sick. It survives in beer. | {
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4,451 | Yeah, OP. Do the chickens have large talons?\n\nEDIT: Sweeet! I got gold for my Napoleon Dynamite quote! This is pretty much the sweetest gold I've ever gotten. | {
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4,452 | I love how Jatt throws his pen at him right after. | {
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4,453 | alternatively, waking up in a dry room and rubbing your nose only for the dry rock booger to stab you. | {
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4,454 | They smear dirt on themselves as a display of wealth. | {
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4,455 | wait a minute...if your camera is in the picture of you taking the picture...\n\nHOW DID YOU TAKE THE PICTURE OF YOU TAKING THE PICTURE?\n\nI demand answers and/or declare it witchcraft. | {
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4,456 | Not really but I saw a music video with a man jumping around being a bit silly, with funny thing on top of his head. But other than that nothing bad or weird! | {
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4,457 | Well I guess they were \n \n•_•) \n( •_•)>⌐■-■ \n(⌐■_■) \n \n \nCaptivated | {
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4,458 | We had to fight hard for Homer falling down the canyon in Bart the Daredevil and it worked well. My favorite was getting put in the ambulance then it crashing and him falling down again. | {
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4,459 | Scarlette Johansen. She is historical, right? | {
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4,460 | Hey guys look at my massive ~~dick~~ [pear](http://www.imgur.com/oCeFb2c)! | {
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4,461 | 2 Kings 4:35\n\n>Then he returned, and walked in the house to and fro; and went up, and stretched himself upon him: and the child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes. | {
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4,462 | I think that the real concern is that the mushroom left you a dollar. I mean, what does that even mean?!? Is it a bribe? Have fungi learned higher emotions like compassion and kindness?\n\nReally makes you think... | {
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4,463 | I had a girl come over one day. The second she walked inside, I threw her on the couch, took off her shoes, and put on her favorite TV show so she could relax and feel comfortable. Then I forced her to the kitchen, shoved her over the dining table, and cooked a nice candle-light dinner. Then I finally carried her to my bedroom, ripped off her clothes, and gave her a new set of pajamas so she could sleep comfortably. | {
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4,464 | http://imgur.com/937UFhm | {
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4,465 | At first I was astonished that you let her get past toddlerhood still coddling her attitude. Then I realized that your post implies that she's 21, and you're *still catering to this shit*.\n\nShe is 21. She can make or buy her own food. LET HER. | {
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4,466 | How old do you like your bitches? | {
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4,467 | This is it exactly. The guy has been an elected official for over 20 years. \n\nRemember the whole thing where George Bush 1 didn't know how much a quart of milk cost? Because he hadn't been to a grocery store in over 20 years? Same shit.\n\nThese guys live in a parallel fucking universe to citizens they supposedly represent. | {
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4,468 | more of a purple loin cloth?\n\nhttp://imgur.com/4THtq | {
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4,469 | I have a business degree from the University of Washington. Business school does not teach you how to run a business, they teach you how to be a good employee for a hedge fund or a bank. | {
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4,470 | This is more reasonable than most kickstarters | {
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4,471 | Oh man, I totally forgot that was an actual punishment in that show. I need to watch it all again. | {
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4,472 | Gotta pay the troll toll if you wanna get into that boy's hole, you gotta pay the troll toll to get in. | {
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4,473 | " I don't see race. I've evolved beyond that. I just pretend everybody is white and it's all good." Stephen Colbert | {
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4,474 | The gramatically correct phrase is "dem eyes" | {
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4,475 | Things that float are boyant. | {
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4,476 | That's only the members of parliament, isn't it? | {
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4,477 | Sounds like that guy was more of a wife recycler. | {
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4,478 | hey fuck you. YOUR name has a blue background!! Oh... sorry. thanks\n\n\n | {
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4,479 | find the song called "it's art" at youtube | {
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4,480 | Absolutely.\n\nI encourage you to do that number 1. And don't call me Mr. Wiseau, I hate that, but I wish you luck in new direction in my life, and play football before you to go bed, and play football before you drink, before you get tipsy. \n\nABSOLUTELY - be the first one! Send me the clip! Absolutely! An invitation maybe! I wish you luck! | {
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4,481 | Your neutron-poison buildup must be slowing you down\n\nbecause there's only room for one nuclear fuel in this town\n\nyour **k** ain't so effective and your burnup is shit\n\nso why don't you make like a compound nucleus and split | {
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4,482 | Doug here, that's pretty much how it went down. I have the rover also programmed to sing ME happy birthday on my birthday, the guys at NASA never remember. At least all my robots do. | {
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4,483 | If you replace "Asian" with "human," the question becomes valid and rather sad. | {
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4,484 | Taking their first date to a place where you can't talk is a pretty good indication... | {
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4,485 | When mobile users get revenge \n\n😛😳😣😜😁😳😛😝😚😄☺️😝😜😌😅😫😆👷😬😕😯😶👷😐😬😑😏😡😵😴😎😱😥😰😅😓😩😩😫😷😷😈😧😧😦😟😟😖😤😡😜😒😌😚😗😊😢😣😜😙😙😂😭😭😘😍😛😂😣☺️☺️😞😀😊😙😗😃😄😎😪😥😴😵😰😰😅😲😟😓😓😆😦😧😫😨\n\nEdit: Lol at everyone still trying to hop on the karma train | {
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4,486 | Im a guy that works at a theater. Sorry to say this is not how it works. You just get it prepped and ready to go and it does the rest. The only other reason you woudl be there is if something is wrong. | {
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4,487 | Can confirm. I once broke into an expensive members only Golf club. Wasps swore at me a lot calling me "filthy pleb" and things until I was forced to flee. | {
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4,488 | It also helped me discover I was allergic to penicillin | {
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4,489 | If Google tells you "Cross the Walt Whitman bridge and stay the night in Camden!" it is probably a joke, like the "jet ski across the Atlantic ocean" directions. They don't actually expect anyone to do that. | {
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4,490 | Damn. I want to get off Littlefoot's wild ride! | {
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4,491 | Yeah, you can tell it's not false modesty. His self-loathing is real, despite essentially being the most popular contemporary comic ~~on the planet~~ in the United States.\n\nedit: Sorry, my American myopia got the best of me. | {
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4,492 | **THINGS TO DO**\n\n* ~~play rugby~~ | {
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4,493 | Dang your brother could've had sex twice that night. | {
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4,494 | Yeah, true. The person I live with made a point of only eating salad for four months summer before last. The bastard lost 60lbs. Zero exercise, he said he was saving the weights for when he'd lost the flab. Which he did, and then he started lifting a few weights at home.\n\nZero cost, zero exercise, ridiculously amazing results. Total bastard. | {
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4,495 | TIL terrorists like to garden. | {
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4,496 | On the same note, when Andy Bernard went sailing for a while he was filming The Hangover 3. | {
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4,497 | Pretty little Mary. She's a fat bitch whore, but that's pretty okay in our book. | {
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4,498 | The first time I 69ed it was in a dark room, and I remember squinting as hard as I could to see this mythical butthole. I had never actually seen another butthole before. | {
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4,499 | Mob gets mad at film making fun of their religion/traditions\n\nMob proceeds to act in way that legitimizes image portrayed by film.\n\nThe cycle is complete | {
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