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4,100 | That's what you get for dating a nine year old. | {
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4,101 | Welsh people are very rarely mentioned in these kinda jokes and it used to make me kind of sad until I realised that the Welsh people would just end up shagging sheep. | {
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4,102 | Yep ISIS is disgusting, his son wasn't the only murdered, yet he was the one who stood up. He certainly has my respect. | {
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4,103 | Not since the toonami. | {
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4,104 | at first i was so stoked.... but then i realized it can never roll decent. ever. ancient or otherwise.... touche Blizzard, touche.\n | {
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4,105 | The directors must have loooooved being told that | {
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4,106 | Can confirm. Am bull shark. | {
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4,107 | In a recent update to my Samsung smart tv it started displaying banner adds on the bottom half of my tv. I had Samsung sponsors banner adds over the top of regular commercials... It was like looking at my parents laptop. Lousy with malware. | {
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4,108 | You're going to want to swallow some burning embers to melt it down. /r/shittyaskscience | {
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4,109 | Trusted specs once, my skyrim now looks fantastic, if I don't move. | {
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4,110 | But you're supposed to be Reddit's lead pervert. You gotta do better, man. | {
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4,111 | > /u/weird_in_chicago\n\n"Well we've narrowed it down to the Chicago metro area..." | {
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4,112 | Kids go in, kids come out... | {
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4,113 | lol wat.\n\nWake up owner please! OMNOMONOMNOMN WAKE UP!\nOMNOMNOMN SEE I ATE YOUR EYES WHY WON'T YOU WAKE... HMM YOURE FUCKING DELICIOUS THO | {
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4,114 | The groom is wearing a white dress shirt with a black front/white back vest. He's wrapping the bride's thighs around his arms. | {
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4,115 | Due to hormones, that isn't supposed to happen but I've read that it's happened before. Apparently a woman had one in one uterus and twins in the other uterus.\n | {
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4,116 | Why not? You eat everyone else's | {
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4,117 | He'd kill you, dump you into a ravine, and then rap about it. | {
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4,118 | Nice to see you are doing things the Kerbal way. | {
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4,119 | "Trust me, sir. You're going to want a condom with her. She didn't ask for one 15 minutes ago either." | {
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4,120 | Did you not get a good look or | {
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4,121 | Bruno Mars even wrote a song for him. | {
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4,122 | It's almost as if they're human. | {
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4,123 | Simon Cowell is insulting, sure, but he doesn't exactly make the attacks emotional. He might tell them they can't sing or they're a bit odd or whatever, but he's a clever guy who knows how everything works and doesn't take it too far. He takes it as well as, I'd even say better than, he gives it.\n\nThis woman probably couldn't take a dig to save her life, and purposefully tried to hurt this guy. | {
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4,124 | the board may come with water. | {
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4,125 | Yeah that's true. But I think the whole 13 prostitutes part is what he was talking about. | {
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4,126 | Too many riggers in this thread. Time to leave. | {
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4,127 | Nigga I go to Wal-Mart every day. \n\nFuck the police. | {
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4,128 | Well, what Fox News *really* means is a high minimum wage increases the cost of living for the rich. | {
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4,129 | If you hadn't married her, I would have. | {
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4,130 | You're right because savings can't argue back. | {
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4,131 | Except listen to doctors. | {
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4,132 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THIS! | {
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4,133 | I'm sorry cam. At least we didn't lose a better game though!!!\n\n\nJust kidding...\n\nMaybe. Console peasant. | {
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4,134 | Sometimes you do stuff like that and then stare accusingly at your hands like, HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN?! | {
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4,135 | And everyone reads that in Apu's voice. | {
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4,136 | But he eats egg whites at nine every morning! You should do it too! | {
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4,137 | Welcome to Australia. \n\n*Edit This is my highest rated comment so far i am so proud *Takes a sip from my VB* | {
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4,138 | He wasn't even supposed to be there that day. | {
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4,139 | Guess who just made a chlorine bomb and blew off both his thumbs! This gu.....awwww. | {
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4,140 | BuzzFeed must protect the only 2 minutes of original content they created in 2015 | {
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4,141 | This was pulled on me. \n \n \nI'm gay and it was with a man. | {
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4,142 | Are you planning to suck your own dick while at a brothel? | {
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4,143 | Those make me really uncomfortable. Good bad designs | {
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4,144 | I'm not sure how he affords it... he's just a high school chemistry teacher. He's been trying to buy a car wash recently.\n | {
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4,145 | She just ordered it like you would order anything on the menu. | {
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4,146 | Dude. i did a shirtless talking head monologue in Dothraki for the last episode and it was hysterical. Didn't make the cut. No idea why. | {
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4,147 | To be fair, it leaves a lot to be desired from a performance standpoint. | {
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4,148 | http://i.imgur.com/3lFHq.gif | {
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4,149 | Belgian schools make it *very* clear these days. | {
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4,150 | slow down there Sean Connery | {
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4,151 | It was a heavy moment, marred by awkward silence. They kept replaying the run and his slam. At some point, I wanted to steer people's attention to the fact that he made an incredible trick before the tragedy. He had NEVER done it before. | {
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4,152 | ( •_•)\nWell I guess she...\n\n( •_•)>⌐■-■\n\n(⌐■_■)\n\nScrewed the pooch.\n\nI'll show myself out. | {
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4,153 | I will never stand up ever again. | {
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4,154 | That is so infuriating. $169.00 to delete a freaking text file? What a bunch of assholes.\n\nFrankly, you should report this up the chain, or better yet, contact The Consumerist.\n\nEDIT: The random Reddit winds have blown in my favor for this comment. I don't consider it my best. I don't think it's the most insightful thing I've ever posted, but I'm absolutely floored by the response! | {
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4,155 | Why do people keep CCing me on things that have nothin to do with me?\n\nEdit: I guess I should thank the kind stranger for gold! I am so very shocked! Up till this point my top comment post was only like 60 upvotes! | {
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4,156 | **H**alf-life **T**hree **C**anceled | {
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4,157 | > Platon\n\nPlaton: \n\n1% tutor \n\n99% hot gas\n | {
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4,158 | Felt like 15, but it was actually on the 2nd day | {
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4,159 | That's really the Carolinas' fault for being unoriginal. | {
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4,160 | Same. I was fingering her and thought, "You know, this would be way better if I was holding a dick right now." | {
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4,161 | Leave your girlfriend, marry glorious boob girl. | {
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4,162 | Now that's a solid joke. | {
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4,163 | She becomes the jet-pack! | {
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4,164 | I'd remake the homemade porn I made with my wife. Christ, my ass looks huge and full of cottage cheese. I'd re-cast me with Affleck. | {
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4,165 | No shit! My boss did this to me last week. \n\nHim: Hey. Come with me.\n\n*silent walk to the coffee room which is on the way to his office*\n\n*stop in coffee room*\n\n*hands me cup of coffee*\n\nHim: Taste that. It's the best damn coffee I've ever made. \n\nJEEZUS! Scare the shit out of me! | {
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4,166 | Lol Crystal is not doing laundry | {
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4,167 | > Unless they hope Allah himself is going to come down and get involved.\n\nI'm pretty sure they're banking on this. | {
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4,168 | Are you this guy? \n\nhttp://i.imgur.com/Tk7AS.png | {
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4,169 | Oooh! That's a good one.\n\nBill Hicks, The Prophet Mohammed, The Prophet Mohammed's Handler, Kanye East, Lizzie Borden, Andy Kaufman, and Amber Tamblyn, Tyrese, and Mark Spits. \n\nWith food provided by Big Kev's Bar-b-que. | {
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4,170 | Yes! Agreed! I skipped that mission, I tried for two days, and it was beyond frustrating to have to hear my nasally whiney voice berating *me.* But the way that happened was I accosted one of the Rockstar Games guys at a party, and I was drunk, I was visibly drunk, and I told him I loved the games, I was a big fan, and I would do anything, I'll work for scale, just if you have anything you want me to do for the next game, please let me know, I'd love to be a part of it. | {
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4,171 | Question for all the Americans reading this. Isn't it common knowledge we (people in europe) all speak English**?**\n | {
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4,172 | I love these sorts of jokes.\n\nA horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse says "As an anthropomorphic horse, I fit in neither with humans nor my own kind, and have thus lived a life of loneliness." | {
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4,173 | Splicing two wires together is not electrical engineering. I laughed when he said this. | {
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4,174 | LOL it was like he forgot it was snowing while he was going to make tea and it surprised him again. | {
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4,175 | OMG I didn't know you could haggle at Chuck e cheese....this could have changed everything | {
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4,176 | You would too if you got hit in the head as hard as she did. | {
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4,177 | "Um, I, uh, uh, ok wait just let me think about--uh, ok hold on I need to--ugh fine ok, ok yes, god dammit, yes. 6:15 it is." | {
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4,178 | 0/10\n\nWould not exchange embassies again | {
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4,179 | You get to see lots of roaches and some lovely stuff with the blacklight...also bedbugs. | {
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4,180 | I bet it sounded like a cellblock lockdown too. | {
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4,181 | Plot twist: she's actually awake and has been keeping you happy all these years. | {
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4,182 | Have you seen any of the later Halloweens? He was shot 18 times in H2O alone. (just being a smart ass) | {
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4,183 | Or they might play Music Videos again...nah | {
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4,184 | My wife made the mistake of saying on facebook that she thought many newborn babies looked like old men. From the reaction of new parents, you would think she'd joined ISIS. For the record, I think she is right. | {
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4,185 | I imagine his spelling and grammar was better when he said it, though. | {
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4,186 | As your doctor, it is my obligation to remind you that neither crap, nor crackers, are suitable foods while on a ketogenic diet.\n\nJust kidding. No problem, amiga. Hope you feel better soon! | {
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4,187 | What if you're tied to a can of beans? | {
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4,188 | Of course, everyone knows that MILF Backdoor Bangs 4,5,6 comprises the original trilogy, while 1,2,3 were prequels. | {
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4,189 | he certainly was. that man was more badass than i'll ever be. i could tell stories about him all day. \n\nhe had a massive heart attack in the early 80's. doctors gave him 6 months to live, and he celebrated 23 awesome years after that just to prove those bastards wrong. | {
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4,190 | JUSTIN BEIBER IS NOW COOL. | {
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4,191 | No shit? Bummer push harder. | {
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4,192 | "Einstein failed math" - Abraham Lincoln\n\nHe couldn't tell a lie, after all. | {
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4,193 | (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)\n\nflip the fucking table and pray to the law of averages | {
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4,194 | The freedom you get with PC is one of my favorite things about it.\n\n[NO LIMITS](http://a.pomf.se/xtoqil.webm)\n\n | {
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4,195 | But seriously, put that shit in a folder. Disorganized desktops are a travesty. | {
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4,196 | Or just because we're home. | {
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4,197 | not many people know this but if you go deep enough there is a natural sharpener down there. | {
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4,198 | "Well, he didn't mind the sampler so he must be ready for this...."\n\n*pushes out log*\n\n"Enjoy baby" | {
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4,199 | as an art/art history student they are also quite good, i can burn the pages separately to keep warm while i never have a job | {
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