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407,900 | i prefer American. Provolone dominates the taste of the meat. American liberates the meaty flavor, bringing democracy to your palette | {
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407,901 | Another great blink one:\n\n"I wanna fuck a dog in the ass. " | {
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407,902 | Fuck that shit yeah makes me mad. People like that can go fuck themselves with a cactus... and trip down some stairs.\n\nI too get trouble if im a minute late. They're so tight. Can't wait to leave this company in September. miserable. | {
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407,903 | A novelty account becoming part of worldwide knowledge is like picking off a wrapper on an old Sprite bottle to suck the ADAM out of a deformed styrofoam cup. | {
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407,904 | Story like this a little bit on the radio last year. Kid just got a bb gun and shot out the glass patio door. Tried to blame it on their pets. He later confessed on air to his parents and they knew thr whole time. | {
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407,905 | I win because they're adorable. | {
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407,906 | Please. I grew up in Houston; and spent the summers outdoors.\n\nMy parents would have little problem with me walking 6 miles; but they would have kicked the shit out of me if they caught me bumming rides from strangers. | {
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407,907 | I'm gonna save you from downvote hell and I'm gonna make sure you don't have to explain your own joke (I fucking hate explaining my own jokes). \n\nAlright everybody, the homeless lady in the picture talked about aliens, the guy from the meme Hamster_Huey posted also talked about aliens. dyke_face claimed to be that homeless lady before. When asked about her time as a crazy homeless lady this is in fact a humorous response. \n\nTL/DR I'm not saying it was sasquatch, but it was chupacabra. | {
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407,908 | She got money from women who want to listen to a feminist reviewer. And from people who felt bad because of the negative anti-feminist, misogynist flak she caught.\n\nThat said... I have to admit, she's a terrible reviewer and it's really a shame that people are giving her attention, because it means better feminist critics get edged out. But then again, the common person is dumb, and so they don't want good quality. I mean, that's why Chuck Lorre isn't living in a cardboard box. | {
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407,909 | No you're not. That's what it sa--what the fuck. | {
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407,910 | Welcome to the fantastic world of being a male in the modern US system. Equality of the sexes mean that women get away with things that men wouldn't, and men are guilty before ever seeing a jury. | {
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407,911 | Usually around 2 minutes. | {
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407,912 | No, my brain's just running in neutral. After exams, it tends to do that. | {
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407,913 | "No one can fuck my strange guests!" | {
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407,914 | You ever go to a video with all those reddit sent me here posts? It's the same thing, just with a different community. | {
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407,915 | Expert says it's worth about $3, I'll give you $0.50. | {
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407,916 | He's got a sick reddit build order, mass post into popular subreddits | {
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407,917 | It's an open secret. Like Anderson Cooper. She's been photographed with her partner, doesn't date men, but just hasn't told the world "HELLO, I'M GAY!" Which is okay, because it really isn't my business, or anybody else's.\n\nedit: Also, I'm pretty sure that's what Gervais was alluding to by saying no men have seen her beaver. | {
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407,918 | Pfft, I'd be honest if I were an American. All you guys eat is food made from corn and it's literally cheaper than a Haiti Dirt Cake. \n\nIf you ate fruit like Apples and paid non subsidised prices, a little illicit fruit crime would taste better to you too.\n\nDon't knock it till you steal it. | {
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407,919 | ... You do have to take a step back and truly appreciate the hatred he holds for your team. | {
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407,920 | ME TOO BROTHER. HIGH FIVE | {
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407,921 | > "I took the chip out and put it in my mouth," he said, and kept it there the whole time he was interviewed by police at a nearby mobile command post.\n\nHoly shit - this guy is awesome. | {
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407,922 | What? How would you think to even say that? | {
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407,923 | I sexually identify as an attack helicopter. | {
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407,924 | Well, our governments doing both of those... You dont have to decide | {
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407,925 | I wanna call bullshit | {
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407,926 | Facts? Time to spread this birth certificate like gospel. | {
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407,927 | Lollipop and above. Nexus master race.\n\nedit: Barring OEM implementations. | {
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407,928 | I N B R E A S T I O N | {
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407,929 | Hear hear. This place can be quite alienating and hateful at times. | {
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407,930 | Statistics don't lie, it's how you interpret them. Statistically, there are 2 popes per square kilometre in the Vatican City. | {
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407,931 | I think the people directly on either side of you had an idea... | {
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407,932 | The first step, is making a rage comic. | {
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407,933 | *The Fukushima 50* an alliance of superhuman nuclear scientists. Together they will fight crime and injustice... for science! | {
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407,934 | Perhaps in the future, but I am fairly new to the profession so I don't have too many stories to share! However if you do a quick search there are many IAmA by morticians and funeral directors. | {
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407,935 | Jolly Rancher is the new Game. | {
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407,936 | The PT cruiser seals the deal. | {
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407,937 | They use a machine called a [micromanipulator](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micromanipulator), which gives the required precision. | {
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407,938 | I've seen this advice before. | {
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407,939 | I see a few singles next to her, are those two things related? | {
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407,940 | It's not the $2 debt we remember... it's ALL the $2 debts we remember that you never paid us back for.\n\nI have friends that I don't even keep track of the money I spend on them, because I know they'll get me back without me saying anything, and it'll even out.\n\nThen I have friends that never get me back for anything... those are the $2 debts that I remember. | {
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407,941 | I see what you did their. | {
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407,942 | I don't know about commonplace within 10 years, but they'll definitely be making big strides. This is one of the biggest things I'm looking forward to about the future, as I hate driving in traffic. Also, I think self-driving cars are a necessary condition for flying cars, because the average driver cannot and should not be trusted to control something that flies. | {
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407,943 | I had to explain this to a 37 year old man. He probably still doesn't believe it. | {
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407,944 | You just blew my mind with that. | {
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407,945 | "This is Jesus, Kent." | {
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407,946 | Actually, you can see from his choice in films, that he is well versed in current events, and that he has a real love and concern for some issues.\nWe shouldn't dismiss it on the basis of him being more successful and rich than we are. | {
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407,947 | ***I THINK GAY PEOPLE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*** | {
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407,948 | You must be one of those kids whos single mom used to keep you at home and make you wear dresses, because she always wanted a little girl. | {
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407,949 | Not too heavy, he'd've been over encumbered. | {
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407,950 | Implying I have possessions to steal... | {
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407,951 | well, at least you're not stup... oh, never mind... | {
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407,952 | To nitpick even further... he's admitted to killing and dismembering the man. | {
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407,953 | The beginning could also be "I'm obsessed with her" | {
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407,954 | > GEORGE: So the minute I started up the steps to her apartment I knew I made a terrible mistake. Going back with her. So we're in her apartment she goes into the bathroom. I'm cursing myself; now how do I get out of this? Then it hits me like a bolt of lightening. The pick. \nJERRY: The pick? \nELAINE: The pick? \nGEORGE: She comes out of the bathroom, I'm in up to my wrist. You should have seen the look on her face. \nJERRY: I think I've seen that look. | {
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407,955 | You don't recognize the smile of crushed dreams? | {
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407,956 | She counted your pubes? That lady went above and beyond the call of duty. | {
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407,957 | **APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!** \n\n**APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!** \n\n**APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!** | {
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407,958 | Pyongyang is best yang! | {
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407,959 | Minecraft doesn't even look that bad. | {
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407,960 | That's what she said. | {
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407,961 | Also sound, never forget sound. | {
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407,962 | To be fair, I think NZ's result is a bit inflated because most statistics don't take our Nazgul attack problem into account. | {
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407,963 | I think this is one of her early styles before she dyed her hair blonde because of being mistaken for Amy Winehouse while trying to make it big. | {
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407,964 | This is pre-E3 footage of GTA5 | {
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407,965 | This belongs in http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/ !!!!!!! | {
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407,966 | >it's really ~~good!~~ soul crushingly depressing. | {
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407,967 | > I sincerely punched him in his temple\n\nUpvote for punching someone sincerely. | {
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407,968 | "Oh I'm just doing some studying for law school, and then I'm going to get back to finishing some Nietzche. He's a good writer, you ever read his stuff? Real deep. Most of the time I like to bike over to Scenic Place to study, but today's kind of cold, so I'm staying in."\n\nC'mon dude I have faith in you | {
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407,969 | I got a red light camera ticket and they ask you to write the infraction number in the memo line. So I did... on 11 different checks for odd dollar amounts that added up to the $50 fine. | {
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407,970 | Caveat emptor is perfectly reasonable given good information about the product. In this case, Best Buy is perfectly honest about exactly what they are going to do- which is not much- and the price they are prepared to do it at. Seems fair to me- I would just never buy it. | {
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407,971 | So polite, that Goblin. | {
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407,972 | No, it's a different dog! i had to cross my eyes and sort of focus on both images, but then the dog started blinking and I knew I had it! | {
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407,973 | Also speaking for British people everywhere:\n\nThere is NO WAY that anything looks that well-made from an Iceland | {
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407,974 | Wait until they change the name of the channel to StyrFry. | {
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407,975 | An inversion:\n\nIf you want my comeback, you can wipe it off your mom's face. | {
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407,976 | same here! i'm dying because i can only imagine what a scream-sneeze sounds like | {
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407,977 | More, bigger spikes. | {
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407,978 | This thread is making me feel better about my super veiny arms | {
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407,979 | MAKE her watch human centipede | {
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407,980 | Super soldier serum\n\nOnly once | {
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407,981 | http://i.imgur.com/nUdld9F.jpg | {
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407,982 | You're going fuckin' trogdor on this thread +props, would comment again 10/10 | {
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407,983 | Nobody but the rich do. | {
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407,984 | MMMMM QUITE, I DARE SAY THOSE SAD KIRKLANDERS JUST DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT ON AN OUTING | {
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407,985 | I guess I'm watching Groundhog Day later. | {
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407,986 | You should have dumped him right away. It always baffles me what kind of shit some girls can endure. | {
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407,987 | You simply cannot expect Prince to act like a normal human being. He lives in his own little world. Kevin Smith gives a hilarious description of what working with him is like and just how strange he really is. | {
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407,988 | Yeah, my cousin got to be the dead person when she was in high school. She did it for Students Against Drunk Driving, or something; I remember seeing it on the front page of my grandma's newspaper and didn't know it was fake... | {
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407,989 | > all the stock your company has.\n\nCongrats. You now own a sandwich. | {
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407,990 | *I* was saying Boo-urns... | {
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407,991 | the artist in me can't help imagine the imagery of a picture of a sun....wearing sunglasses\n | {
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407,992 | "And then afterwards, my designer jeans didn't fit properly because of my bulging wallet. Then I couldn't choose between the jaguar or the aston martin to drive home in." FML. | {
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407,993 | He had said before that he kept listening to the radio broadcasts because he wouldn't give up. He had to know what was going on out there so he would know if there was anything he could do to help. So, him saying to shut off the radio is him saying "I don't wanna hear it anymore, I can't help anymore, I give up" | {
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407,994 | http://i.imgur.com/a1ZES.gif | {
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407,995 | Someone who wanted to sell strategy guides. | {
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407,996 | so you have time to unzip. | {
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407,997 | To anyone not familar with math it looks like you are very excited about the second 52 in this sentence. | {
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407,998 | The funny thing is, when I have spare time to spend with my wife(outside of the significant amount of time I already spend with her), she just makes me fix shit or clean. \n\nWhy the fuck would I not want to play WoW, or Eve, or COD for an extra few hours a week? | {
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407,999 | Your mispelling makes the story 10 times more awesome. Have an upvote. | {
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