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407,800 | In elementary school I went to an after school care program. One day we found a giant rock underneath the swing set. This thing was big enough to lay on with room to spare. We thought it was a dinosaur skull and tried to dig it up. That is, until our friend told us that if we dug up a dinosaur skull that his brother in the air force would bomb the playground and we wouldn't be allowed to play there anymore. | {
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407,801 | while(!orgasm) do {\n thrust(in);\n thrust(out);\n }\n \n /* Orgasm has started, perform finishing routines */\n enjoy();\n \n /* always tidy up any mess */\n cleanup(); | {
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407,802 | You used it for your Barbies. \n\nAdmit it. | {
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407,803 | I'd pound that little guy like a *drum*. | {
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407,804 | I hope he's aware of this and doesn't get too down on himself for not being good enough | {
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407,805 | The devil tried to take the building, but luckily they fought hard enough, prayed, and reached their donation threshold.\n\nMind you I align myself christian but have a problem with a lot of organized religion.\n\nEdit: Spelling | {
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407,806 | Looks like OP blew it again, that good for nothing slob! | {
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407,807 | > Teemo\n\nI think they got their revenge... | {
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407,808 | I did explain myself, and she wouldn't believe me that "What's up, homes?" was a common greeting between youths in the late 90s. I tried to explain myself but this bitch was a total dingbat. Fucked one of the married cooks, she was a total fuckshow. | {
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407,809 | Tools>Options>Content> [enable javascript] Advanced> Uncheck Move or Resize Existing Windows.\n\n\nVoilà, problem solved. | {
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407,810 | The shower sucks for jerking off seriously. | {
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407,811 | No, man you don't understand. The carpet doesn't work anymore. | {
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407,812 | It's not, and that's why these companies do it. | {
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407,813 | >it's even rumoured that employees have spawned new processes together.\n\nFTFY | {
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407,814 | fuckin jews gave us mosquitoes. god damn it | {
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407,815 | I put on my hijab and wizard turban... | {
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407,816 | The Morning Constitutional is serious business, yo. Have you ever observed a cat or a dog after it's taken a big (relatively) shit? They're very happy and playful afterward. | {
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407,817 | And that's why you hover over the hyperlink to read the address :) | {
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407,818 | That's probably why Kenneth is from there. | {
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407,819 | Or if suddenly they find out that they could easily switch bombing airplanes for bombing buses, ships, schools, malls, office buildings, arcades, cinemas, etc., with virtually no security. | {
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407,820 | I did too, and then I played with some of my friends and they didn't know about it. | {
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407,821 | Have you seen the comic that (I believe) originated on 4chan about a guy who builds up the courage to ask a girl out over years, he asks her, she agrees, but she's moving away the next day (or something like that) and then immediately dies in a car accident. It was supposedly a true story and it tore my heart every time I read it. Wish I could find it. | {
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407,822 | fuuuuuck \n\ndidn't think about that, now my toes are tingling. | {
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407,823 | ...Uhhh...Wouldn't they all freeze in transit? | {
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407,824 | Oh look this study shows that 1/5 women said they were involved with some kind of violence at some point in their lives? (including things as trivial as a push or shove from a sibling)\n\nONE IN EVERY FIVE WOMEN ARE RAPED DURING THEIR TIME STUDYING ON CAMPUS LOOK AT THESE FACTS!!! | {
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407,825 | Nobody touches a PETA person, it's like a leper | {
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407,826 | OH GOD, I KNEW SHE WAS EVIL, BUT CASES OF BEARS? | {
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407,827 | Do you sometimes wleft a reply too? | {
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407,828 | This is exactly what I want to hear more of! We need to get this comment to the top because the only way we're going to be heard is by making some noise. We have a huge spokesman on our side for once! We have two men who have the ability to get our word out! Jon Stewart is the most trusted man in cable news whether he wants to be or not. Steven Colbert has the balls to challenge the most powerful forces in our world right now. We can do this, we just have to stand up! | {
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407,829 | Can't we just blow the cartridge? | {
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407,830 | Because of the spying?\n\n\n^I'm ^sorry, ^I'll ^turn ^in ^my ^flair ^now. | {
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407,831 | Lin: "I'm single."\n\nYoung: "How are you single?"\n\nLin: "Because I'm not dating anyone Nick."\n\nThe wit. | {
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407,832 | The balls and cups are in the beer section here too | {
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407,833 | This kills the mail man | {
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407,834 | not just career this probably destroyed the surgeons life | {
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407,835 | I'll deal. Seems like more a mental glitch than a legitimate, journalistic fuck-up. | {
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407,836 | The worst thing is when you go to bed and just as you're getting comfy you look up to see one in the corner of your roof right above your bed. This happens all the damn time and it's always a job choosing whether to get rid of them or not. Huntsmen are pretty harmless, but they really *are* hand sized, and they sit there in corner of the wall/roof watching you.\n\nWaiting.\n\nJust till you close your eyes. | {
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407,837 | Have you checked to see if your mother has been replaced with a dinosaur? | {
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407,838 | B-b-b-uttt gamergurls!\n\nYeah, if you haven't heard of those characters than it is pretty likely you are not a gamer. | {
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407,839 | OP, get punched in the dick! | {
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407,840 | Well i didnt need to sleep | {
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407,841 | > I am not surprised. But I am disappointed.\n\nThis should be on the back of every IT person's business card. | {
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407,842 | You're god damn right. | {
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407,843 | I pictured something funny. | {
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407,844 | If Carolina beats Seattle, I well change my flair to the raiders and buy 50 dollars of raiders gear. | {
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407,845 | This is something abusive people do. My ex did it to me so much that I thought I was the one with the problem. Also, I've heard this many times in /r/raisedbynarcissists | {
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407,846 | I like how this discussion started out as being about how to cheat, and then people suggest optimizations that end up being "actually solve the problem". | {
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407,847 | 2010 Chargers #NeverForget | {
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407,848 | The worst in a University class of 300 with two doors... | {
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407,849 | Whose, their own or OP's? If OP's, I'm all for the ban hammer. | {
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407,850 | **tl;dr** I saw *everything*. | {
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407,851 | Catholicism: The glitter of the religious world. | {
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407,852 | I think it's the lack of foreskin makes them easy to identify | {
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407,853 | I hope no one stopped her. | {
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407,854 | That's the other thing I hear all the time.\n\n"I have a great idea. We just need some dude to program it."\n\n"Oh? I assume this programmer gets 90% of the profits. 10% is a pretty standard finder's fee."\n\n"Hell no, I came up with the idea!"\n\n"So you'll pay him hourly, then?"\n\n"Well, I don't have that sort of money. But he'll get to have a successful project on his resume!"\n\nMy eyes can't possibly roll hard enough. | {
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407,855 | I don't always shave, but when I do, I intimidate my hair follicles into not growing. | {
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407,856 | Clever Dad is clever.\n\n"You can have my car, son. I just need to borrow it every day for work, and whenever else I need to use it." | {
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407,857 | Excellent. More skinny girls for me. | {
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407,858 | Kinda hypocritical coming from someone named Satan Scat. | {
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407,859 | it's all about how you word it: \n>Proven strategic consulting insight and fundamental understanding of social media.\n\nAnd now you've got a bigger resu-penis. | {
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407,860 | vice adjudicator of the wingside touchline | {
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407,861 | are u sure it wasnt for gay porn | {
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407,862 | this seems to check out | {
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407,863 | The fact that it was designed to improve morale [in case Britain was invaded by Nazis](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keep_Calm_and_Carry_On) makes "Keep calm and have a cupcake" feel pretty offensive. | {
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407,864 | I agree that he probably doesn't want to publicize this but if it were me, I would be really humbled if a community sent me cards, or donated in my mother's name or something like that. | {
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407,865 | Holy shit you actually replied. Thank you so much. My girlfriend is gonna love this. | {
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407,866 | 65% more bullet, per bullet. | {
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407,867 | "Dude, don't jump into the water! You don't know how deep it is!"\n\n"It's okay, guys, I measured it. It's exactly 37 inches."\n\n"Oh, alright then. Proceed." | {
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407,868 | I was homeschooled until 8th grade. I can confirm that I was a socially retarded and creepy individual until maybe my junior year of highschool. | {
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407,869 | http://i.imgur.com/MZ5mJ.gif | {
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407,870 | I ated the purple berries. They taste like burning... | {
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407,871 | I've worked in a couple of places with absolutely no customer or client interaction and had to wear a suit, so dumb. | {
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407,872 | I wanted to point out the same thing. If compassion is genetic, I would fear that we would be breeding future generations who are predisposed towards "nice" or "mean". She has done probably the best she could at passing her kindness down to the next generation. | {
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407,873 | WILL KEEP ON DOING WHAT WERE DOING THANK YOU | {
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407,874 | this is fucking creepy.\n | {
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407,875 | That was retconned in MILF BB 6 as being some kind of space-time rip bullshit. Put me off the rest of the series tbh | {
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407,876 | This started out as a nice story about a dumb kid having some sense being talked into him and everyone living happily ever after, like the Vin Diesel story a few days ago, and then it ended with him with a felony record and the grandparents in foreclosure. | {
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407,877 | He probably meant A Christmas Carol. You know, the one with Scrooge, and that leg lamp. | {
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407,878 | Protoss vs Protoss is so random.\n\nSeriously though, I don't follow the PvP community close enough to have a good opinion about it. I've heard there are some severe balance issues, but I need better data to work on it.\n\nDeathban servers is something we want to do officially in the future =)\n\nNot sure yet.\n\nI don't think so. Possibly later than "soon". | {
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407,879 | Its kilosubscribers isnt it? | {
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407,880 | > since mom and I are lesbians\n\nSurprise ending!\n*me gusta....* | {
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407,881 | Counterpoint : The very fact that you had to put effort into pushing forward, and that it disturbs you shows that you are NOT one of "those monsters". \n\nAnd if you hadn't had the emotional development to be the respectful, healthy person you are today, you wouldn't recognize any of this. \n\nDont sweat, man, your actual natural inclinations speak well of you. | {
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407,882 | well if your hand wasn't so big | {
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407,883 | Guy said he didn't want to accept the agreement, Steam says they'll deactivate his account if he wants. I don't really see the problem. | {
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407,884 | He's 11 so shut the fuck up. | {
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407,885 | ASCII industrial technology is still in its prototype phase. | {
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407,886 | (Only you can hear me redditor, what posts shall we post again?) | {
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407,887 | I don't know why, but seeing this makes me happy | {
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407,888 | Just do what Daniel Radcliff does. Wear the same cloths every day so the paparazzi don't have any interesting photos of you after a wile. | {
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407,889 | Tricking kids into going to school. | {
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407,890 | WHY IS THERE A CROCODILE NEXT TO YOUR NAME | {
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407,891 | http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/ridiculously-photogenic-guy-live-gma-zeddie-little-16114354 | {
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407,892 | I think the original was a post where the OP was claiming that someone was secretly living in their house in a secret room. The picture was an unmade bed/sleeping area with some candy wrappers and a banana peel. When people pointed out that the banana peel was *very* fresh, OP said he added it for scale. | {
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407,893 | Well, 100 days later and it looks like this: http://craftygrafty.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/dsc_0229.jpg\n | {
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407,894 | Every time I see this I think "Epic fail!" lolololol.\n\nOn a more serious note, how about how the term "troll" has almost become a synonym for "prank" or "joke." | {
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407,895 | I thought your response was going to be "You'd have creationism." | {
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407,896 | Something, anything *else*. | {
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407,897 | >especially if since he kept the "take a breath and chill", which was not paraphrased.\n\nOP quoted Bay telling fans to "shut up and chill". It's pretty clear he was sensationalizing things a bit. | {
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407,898 | I actually never saw/met her. Just realizing this, I am sad. | {
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407,899 | What unsettled me is that I don't think the true customer base is people who want to prove they are dating. If it was, then a bot, and some Photoshop is all you need.\n\n\nNo, this appeals to a certain kind of loneliness in people. There's times in my life when I would have been interested in this service. And at those times I would certainly have not been equipped to navigate the self inflicted catfish scenario that followed. | {
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