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406,800 | Call me when you get the master chief collection....and I'll call you when I can actually play mine. | {
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406,801 | Someone's being all judgy wudgy. | {
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406,802 | That's what you get for having a relevant comment! That'll teach ya. | {
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406,803 | He can just leave his shell and get another one. | {
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406,804 | Can you join them?\n\nEdit: thanks for all the replies! | {
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406,805 | Good idea. Also do what they do in rugby, when a player is down keep playing unless it interferes with play or looks like its a head injury. Treat him when the ball goes dead. Now see how many players have a lay down while their side is a man short. | {
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406,806 | Is that door knob... in the middle of the door? | {
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406,807 | This is an outrage. No employer has the right to demand a facebook password to be reinstated in a job. The courts should take up this case and a lawsuit should confirm that this is indeed illegal. | {
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406,808 | I am so very happy this exists. | {
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406,809 | >The point of the story is that you have to deal with the world as it is, rather than expect the world to conform to you.\n\nironic | {
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406,810 | You sound like you are still 19. | {
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406,811 | Me too. Was there a reason that they stopped these, or did they simply want more Daily Show-relevant content in those 22 or so minutes? | {
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406,812 | "Boyfriend's on reddit. Better drink my own piss." | {
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406,813 | I would be careful, also. Truman isn't a man to play around. Ask Japan. | {
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406,814 | First day at Insanity Wolf's job. SFW | {
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406,815 | I ran all the way here! | {
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406,816 | But how do you explain Groundhog's Day? | {
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406,817 | Damn son, you have this explanation stuff down to a fine art. | {
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406,818 | I've been screamed at by both a sober Allen Ginsberg and drunk Kurt Vonnegut. Does that count? (Separate and unique stories). | {
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406,819 | That lassie got glassed, and no cunt leaves here till we find out what cunt did it! | {
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406,820 | What is this? A jpeg for ants? | {
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406,821 | Comparison: http://makeagif.com/i/PRDvht | {
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406,822 | A lot of physical pain can be caused by tight muscles, esp lower back pain. | {
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406,823 | Don't give them any more ideas. | {
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406,824 | The guy casually mentions a "toddler boner" and *that's* the weird part to you?! | {
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406,825 | Perhaps television? Any execs out there wanna give us a show? | {
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406,826 | "You're a pedophile" \n"Yeah, but I'm Christian" | {
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406,827 | and for that I truly am sorry, it wasn't my intention. I hope to fully understand how fragile life is. Next time you see your SO tell him/her that you love them. | {
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406,828 | You could just say anything from Best Buy. | {
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406,829 | Same joyful expressions. | {
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406,830 | Try the gamegrumps, they are much more grow up but with some humor you will never find anywhere else. They are much more high quality then Pewdiepie himself and interacts with the fans, too.\n\nThey got a sub, too, it will take a while to understand the whole culture, though.\n\n/r/gamegrumps.\n\nEach episode is a diffrent experience, one moment it can be personal others it can be what ever. Just wonderful people. | {
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406,831 | Did you got to school with Xzibit, by chance? | {
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406,832 | >TL;DR: IHA\n\nFTFY | {
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406,833 | >boat people are destroying Australia\n\nThat was like over 200 years ago, nothing we can do now. | {
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406,834 | I hope people actually understand this is a reference.\n\nEdit:[For those who don't](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3lsJmwNO40)\nand for the original version [1](http://i.imgur.com/6AKSqCw.jpg), [2](http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r168/Kas717/Watchmen0613.jpg) | {
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406,835 | North Korea is a paper tiger. All Kim's military is good at is marching in parades.\n\nRussia, on the other hand, very much has a fully functional, well equipped, and well supplied military.\n\nPutin has a long history of fighting extremist Islam. He's not a fan of that at all. | {
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406,836 | S-S-S-S-SUMMONBREAKER | {
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406,837 | >He was apparently down with the punching.\n\nBut it seems he wasn't down with the sickness. | {
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406,838 | It's the strangest thing when you expect pedophilia and get water balloons. | {
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406,839 | No.\n\nFM 6-02.53 Tactical Radio Operations clearly states that communications flow along the rainbow which is powered by robot unicorns which are fed by pixies. | {
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406,840 | TIL I hate me because I am a guy. | {
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406,841 | Ah, the American Dream. | {
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406,842 | "I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a girl who would get mad if she heard me say that." --Mitch Hedberg. | {
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406,843 | >Woodwork\n\n\n\nHeh. | {
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406,844 | I hear in japan Mc donald's food looks like the advertisements. | {
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406,845 | Looks like Optimus Prime found your mom's dildo, Trebek! | {
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406,846 | A little baby powder and it's worth it. Nothing better than wiping your ass clean in one stroke. | {
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406,847 | HAHA THEY'RE OUR RIVALS! | {
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406,848 | It looked to me like he thought about changing it and decided not to. | {
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406,849 | Should've picked Guile. Guile always beats Bison. | {
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406,850 | K is previous comment. Enter will collapse a comment, S for save, R for reply. I couldn't find any others but there's probably a list | {
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406,851 | LMAO = Lounging Monkey Astronaut Organization. | {
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406,852 | You should probably work on your profile more. Honestly as a girl, I only partly cared about the initial conversation. I was more interested in the profile and pictures. It's sad, but you really have to sell yourself online. | {
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406,853 | Yeah I think the "truth" was decided by a committee about 500 years after the "fact." You know, just little details, like that his mother was actually a virgin, because sex is dirty and the savior can't have been born of a dirty filthy female. | {
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406,854 | The entire cast of *Seinfeld* for me. | {
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406,855 | It's when something gets inserted in an Oval Orifice. | {
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406,856 | The topping on his pizza, is pizza?\n\nThis man is a hero. | {
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406,857 | Yeah, we sure wouldn't want Reddit turning into an image sharing site. | {
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406,858 | DO YOU THINK THIS IS MORSE CODE | {
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406,859 | Googled "Pinocchio Underwear" to see where I could buy a pair. I got this instead. [Da fuck you doin' Newegg?](http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=9SIA2CV1AH6645&nm_mc=KNC-GoogleMKP-PC&cm_mmc=KNC-GoogleMKP-PC-_-pla-_-Men%27s+Underwear-_-9SIA2CV1AH6645&gclid=CjwKEAiAxZKmBRD_5cCvs8SbxXsSJADZBCmdDHpG10hfJh8b_n3Qy58bP5K2asqmZIRJR_IXE-6tgxoCXb_w_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds) | {
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406,860 | http://i.imgur.com/KlbN9.png | {
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406,861 | As a Canadian who helped pay for all that: We're stronger as a community when we all help each other. Today, your mom. Tomorrow, me. \n\nHope she's doing alright. | {
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406,862 | They can aim. Just not at main characters. | {
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406,863 | **J. G. W E N T W O R T H** | {
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406,864 | >South Korea is a bustling metropolitan city\n\nSouth Korea is now just a city... *one city*.... | {
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406,865 | *Switches hands*\n\n"Here comes a new challenger" | {
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406,866 | It ain't local. I work in production and every crew in every town he's worked in has a story. Whatever, everyone says he's a hell of a nice guy just with certain "desires". | {
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406,867 | They're absolutely misogynists. \n\nI was drunk one time and a thread from that sub was on r/all, and I just read it in absolute astonishment that grown fucking "men" were discussing subjects as if women were enslaving men. I even wrote a thread that asked if it was a joke, because I didn't want to believe there were so many men that felt that way. | {
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406,868 | AMA REQUEST: someone that has convinced their friend that Inception is the sequel to Titanic | {
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406,869 | The best novelty account if I do say so myself | {
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406,870 | White people just don't know how to do Asian food. Don't take it personally. 95% of America doesn't realize ramen exists outside of 10 cent packets.\n\n/white person adopted by asians. | {
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406,871 | We did cats too (for my anatomy class; pigs in biology), and mine had been pregnant--nearly to term. My lab partner was thrilled, I was horrified. | {
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406,872 | http://i.imgur.com/Gb1WU.jpg | {
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406,873 | I use the jacuzzi jets in the retardedly fancy bathtub that came with this house. Relaxing bath, a little wine, then press up against the jets and it's Madeline Kahn singing "OOOOHHHH SWEEEET MYSTERY OF LIFE AT LAST I'VE FOUND YOOUUUU!" | {
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406,874 | Fat chicks hate short guys because they want someone who can make them feel little and dainty. Next to a healthy short guy, they stand out like the awkward planets that they are. | {
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406,875 | Every christmas she sends us kids a year or two of the journal she was keeping when we were growing up. It's really cool to see our childhood from her perspective, plus how much our parents struggled to give us a good childhood. We didn't appreciate or understand at the time all they did for us. | {
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406,876 | That's because nothing is infappable. | {
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406,877 | Never go full retardant. | {
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406,878 | http://imgur.com/dTJKs | {
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406,879 | https://twitter.com/eurogamer/status/261431285216575488\n\nWell this just seems to go and affirm everything Florence had to say. | {
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406,880 | Yeah. Cupcakes are better. | {
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406,881 | Your last line exactly. They(MOST religions) in the U.S. use our tolerance against us. Free speech is a wonderful thing. But religions use it as a tool to spread hate and intolerance. Well put my brother in tolerance. | {
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406,882 | NOT AT ALL! My family is SO conservative! Oh god! | {
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406,883 | US companies need to just start paying a living wage to servers, cabbies and delivery-peeps. This $3/hour bull-shit is just stupid. Very few other developed countries do that. The cost of the food, pizza order, whatever should include that person's wage. If you don't like the quality of service, you should still have to pay that wage and just not order/go there next time. | {
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406,884 | Fuck off unless you want to be indebted,\n\nI'm the only raprecapper on reddit | {
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406,885 | Call CPS to ask, "what can I get away with regarding how I supervise my kids". Haha, I can see that leading to more trouble rather than less..\n | {
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406,886 | I'm interviewed many prospective Software Engineers and the ones from for-profit colleges such as your own have been terrible, without exception. So your experience isn't without cause, as you know.\n\nI'm not opposed to hiring one that could pass my tech. screen, but so far they haven't passed muster.\n\nNot that it matters at this point, but just bury your education on your resume and focus on your work experience.\n | {
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406,887 | Exactly. It's weird how most guys with an "OAG" lie and try to fool them and don't like to resolve disagreements. That shit would make anyone insecure and crazy. | {
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406,888 | Operation: Freedom Fap | {
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406,889 | WHY!!!!!!!!\n\nYou know why!!!!!!! | {
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406,890 | Do you know how elephants hide? They paint their balls red and climb into cherry trees.\n\nEver seen that? No? Works pretty well, doesn't it?\n\n | {
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406,891 | I once drove my kids to the wrong day care. | {
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406,892 | saint is the conductor of his team, while regi is the conductor of ours.\n\nif you've ever seen regi and saint on the same team they both get shit done which results in a complete stomp as demonstrated at WCG 2011 | {
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406,893 | Because he's holding pedobear | {
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406,894 | the sleeper account have been activated to sway user opinion\n\npeople generally tend to read the comments and side with the highest ranking comment | {
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406,895 | All sneaky beaky like. | {
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406,896 | tell him to get a bigger dick. | {
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} |
406,897 | I've never heard anxiety used in verb form. It sounds dirty. | {
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406,898 | >concerted effort to look like men\n\nTheir clothing is fairly unisex. The only thing that's at all different from normal is their hair, because most women don't wear it that short.\n\nDo you think that a guy that dresses in unisex clothing, but has long hair is making a concerted effort to look like a woman? | {
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"harassment/threatening": 0.000015279889339581132
},
"flagged": false
} |
406,899 | I'm sure that's the only reason you've been watching as much as possible. | {
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},
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"self-harm/instructions": 0.00007392043335130438,
"harassment/threatening": 0.00008219734445447102
},
"flagged": false
} |
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