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406,900 | Your stabbing was a long time coming? How much of an asshole are you? :D | {
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406,901 | Yeah most likely. He was a prick anyway. | {
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406,902 | I am a man who rides motorcycles and jumps out of planes and I enjoy Ellen (when my GF puts it on). Oprah was boring unless it was the Christmas episodes where she gave away things like [bees.](http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/7044/oprahbees.gif) | {
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406,903 | The little girl was crying. Her vagina has some infections. So the doctor had to fuck her in the backdoor.\n\nWith her little eye almost in tears, she asked: "why?"\n\nSo the doctor says: *I think it's better this way.* | {
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406,904 | To quote a friend of mine, who was generally very Republican:\n\n"It's ridiculous that all this smut exists on the internet, and I'm really angry that my son can just go online and see naked women any time he's home alone. He should have to steal Playboys from the 7-11 like I did." | {
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406,905 | To the bat cave indeed. | {
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406,906 | Except this has been said in every single thread on this subject. | {
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406,907 | I believe it's referred to as Hr-Kr. | {
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406,908 | I have a vague memory of this being discussed at one point and someone made a collage of topless girls with Tom Selleck's nipples photoshopped onto their breasts. | {
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406,909 | op, op op, oppan gangnam style! | {
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406,910 | No, all masturbation attempts should be directed at my dick. | {
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406,911 | And. . . there goes your security deposit. | {
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406,912 | Breaking: Brees to the Dolphins, Tebow to the Saints | {
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406,913 | From the 2008 Al Smith dinner:\n\n>"But in the spirit of full disclosure, there are a few October surprises you'll be finding out about in the coming weeks. First of all, my middle name is not what you think. It's actually Steve. That's right. Barack Steve Obama." | {
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406,914 | am mix 2 adult cats with sulfur in a blender\n\nthen am did sprinkled the powder over myself at 9 am and did a 360 and when am opened my eyes\n\nam think that did it\n\n | {
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406,915 | "Fuck, I forgot my boots". | {
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406,916 | A typical visit to a DoC:\n\n**Dr. MoNique**: "I have your diagnosis: GRRRRRRL, YOU FINE AS HELL! FLAUNT THEM KURRRRVEZ SISTA!" \n\n*snaps fingers & slaps Tumblrina's ~~cottage cheese pile~~ perfect ass, 10/10 male models burst into the room and fuck them Eiffel Tower-style on the operating table. Several orgasms later, white cis male servants bring them blueberry cobbler and ice cream.* | {
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406,917 | If you were on the other side, it'd be the Russians. I'd be much more afraid of the Russians. | {
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406,918 | Yes. This explains why Spiderman was letting the Avengers do all the work during the invasion. | {
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406,919 | OUR CRUISERS CAN'T REPEL HYPE OF THAT MAGNITUDE | {
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406,920 | To be fair, Xmithie has fallen very far from his pre-XDG days. | {
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406,921 | I have met many parents for whom it's quite the opposite. I truly am sorry for the all the ones you mentioned. \n\nAs a dad myself I can say that I love life even more since my daughter was born.\n | {
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406,922 | And dominating sports teams.\n\nOh and I hear we have some good colleges too. | {
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406,923 | Take out the Americans first. *Edited for dumb spelling. | {
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406,924 | He beats women with his penis. | {
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406,925 | 2 days? I randomly remember those moments 2 years later at work and feel this strange sense of pride! | {
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406,926 | I preferred\n\n*M*\n\n*o*\n\n*t*\n\n*i*\n\n*v*\n\n*a*\n\n*t*\n\n*e*\n\n*d* | {
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406,927 | $100 says she had a hyphenated last name. | {
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406,928 | Dude, if you've never gone commando in spandex, let me explain. You can see everything. By that I mean, people won't say, "Hey look, it's a penis." They will say, "Hey look, kids. It's the glans. That man is circumcised." | {
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406,929 | Mirror, posted earlier: http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxih228Qj01r4zkmyo1_1280.jpg | {
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406,930 | The noblest of pass-times. | {
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406,931 | Well it was his lifework that was lost, so maybe cut him some slack.\n\n/s | {
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406,932 | detectit tell me do things and i done running | {
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406,933 | You should send it off with the agreement that they would return it. (I hope it wouldn't get destroyed in testing though) | {
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406,934 | And if you decide to express your opinion to the Senator, try to stay civil. It is much more effective. Hyperbolic rants tend to be ignored. | {
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406,935 | Its an indie game I've been working on with a few others for the last few years. Thanks for asking!\n\n\n\nEdit: Sorry! [Here's a direct link with footage and the concept](http://playvoidspace.com/?a=1&sr=rdtcmtwn) | {
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406,936 | I think it is a "This shit is going on Reddit" vibe. | {
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406,937 | or teamrank with tournament settings :O! (+128 tick) | {
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406,938 | Curse has finally found someone to replace Elementz | {
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406,939 | AI NEED AH SWORD TEH FEIND PENN-EH, BROTHA. | {
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406,940 | Dildoes, guns, knives, meth, crack, coke, weed, lots of booze....\n\nmost of them just have makeup, snacks, cash, id.\n\nthe worst ones were the ones with a bajillion zippers...some of them open into stuff some that are only decoration.\n\nmy best stories are about drunk people who try to sneak booze into the stadium in dumb ways. | {
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406,941 | Completely worth it for that price. | {
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406,942 | That is still one of the funniest things I have ever watched. | {
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406,943 | It would be awesome if they each rooted for one team, Kunkka for Rad and Tide for Dire.\n\n**Scenario 1**\n\nKunkka: "Radiant has taken a Dire tower! Haha!"\n\nTidehunter: "KUNKKAAAAAA!"\n\n**Scenario 2**\n\nKunkka: "Roshan has fallen to the Radiant!"\n\nTidehunter: "KUNKAAAAA!"\n\n**Scenario 3**\n\nKunkka: "Dire team pick."\n\n*Team picks Kunkka"\n\nTidehunter: "KUUNKKAAAAAA!" | {
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406,944 | No, you're thinking of "I wanted ice but became cherries" | {
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406,945 | **THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!** | {
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406,946 | So you want to see more of your neighbor then? | {
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406,947 | Or paid attention at school. | {
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406,948 | Who said they were in Ireland? | {
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406,949 | "But ref, look it hurt my calfsies too!" | {
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406,950 | As many important historians have said. | {
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406,951 | Honestly, I would say take the evidence and call the police now. Don't give him the opportunity to make the situation worse in any way. | {
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406,952 | I understand the point you're trying to make, but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that pop music is not a real contribution to the world. Music is a contribution to the world. It is art. She may not have written it, but she sang it and it touched people. \n\nWhen my mother's best friend died, my mother listened to "I Will Always Love You" on a loop for days. That's a contribution. Just because it's not a scientific discovery does not mean that it's not real. | {
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406,953 | You mean a different website than reddit? I don't understand. | {
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406,954 | hehe. "Huge mounds"...hehe. | {
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406,955 | 9/10, needs more Getty Images. | {
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406,956 | No doubt! And these are the same hypocrites trying to stop abortion and encourage adoption. | {
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406,957 | What's with the weird? Punctuation? | {
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406,958 | There are Malaria pills, though. It's not as permanent as a vaccine, but at least it's something. | {
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406,959 | I saw some great reddit post weeks ago about how you know an accident is bad when a dudes shoes come off. | {
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406,960 | Come to San Antonio and I'll change your life forever. Chorizo and egg, picadillo, potato/bacon and egg, with or without cheese on homemade flour tortillas made by little old mexican grandmas and covered with salsa verde. \n\nYou'll stop eating shitty burritos, I promise. | {
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406,961 | so you are saying he was out clubbing? | {
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406,962 | Nope. If I thought the script sucked, that's all that matters. | {
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406,963 | At least you got to admit, he knows his shit. | {
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406,964 | This kills the housecat. | {
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406,965 | It is easier to steal a cat and say you just found it.\n\nFTFY. | {
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406,966 | How did you not just ask them "holy shit did you hear that one?!" | {
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406,967 | Oh yeah, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. Then I moved up to washing lettuce. Now, I'm working the fat fryer. Pretty soon I'll make assistant manager and that's when the big bucks start rolling in... | {
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406,968 | Now give me my fuckin' enchiladas | {
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406,969 | My dad said almost the exact same thing to me a few months ago, he'd been ignoring my problems but then witnessed me having a panic attack on a really bad day. He said to me "you are in control of what you feel, and you can decide when you feel better instead of feeling sorry for yourself all the time". One of the best things that's ever been said to me. | {
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406,970 | I found that out when I met Ya momma. | {
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406,971 | "Mac, how do you view yourself in the context of our group?"\n\n"I'm... the sheriff of Paddy's." | {
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406,972 | Come on now, I am sure the homeowner had high powered high capacity mag assault rifles, flash bang grenades, and full body armor. As well as the element of surprise. He should have no problem killing 10 police officers who are peacfully trying to serve a warrant with only their service pistols. \n\n | {
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406,973 | But SVG has better handles | {
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406,974 | I had been waiting there since 5 a.m. with a friend. There was no one else there when we got there! It was a barren, empty technological landscape just waiting to be sat in front of. | {
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406,975 | Funny thing is, its probably not even true. Some guy says something to the gist of "hey Woody, you fucked my friend _____ at our prom in LA some time ago." (It is very significant that no date was stated) "And then you never called her." (no shit) Throw in a Reddit-friendly compilation of gifs, and the hive mind strikes.\n\nAs for the bailing, I doubt it was because of one question. The more likely scenario is that he was simply mislead into thinking he was only talking to fans about his movie. | {
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406,976 | My phone took the picture.\n\nEDIT: wow i'm dumb haha | {
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406,977 | This sounds like the plot to Rat Race. | {
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406,978 | W-w-wow, what a terrific audience. | {
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406,979 | We need to check your colon for terrorism. | {
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406,980 | There has to be an intern behind this. | {
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406,981 | thanks! i remember those days as well, fun days where losing or winning mattered less and fun was all to it. | {
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406,982 | You know why we haven't heard from OP? You just blew his mind. | {
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406,983 | I'm convinced that Neil Patrick Harris is the only reason that show made it so long. | {
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406,984 | My mom did this. She thought that having me would make my dad leave his current family to be with her. He didn't, and my stepdad raised me until I was eight, at which point my dad came in 'lol jk that family's not working out.' And my mom left my stepdad for my biological dad. I prefer my stepdad. He's supportive and he loves me and he's not a dick. My biological dad is a dick. | {
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406,985 | Sorry you're a 30 year old virgin. | {
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406,986 | Obvious and this story doesn't seem quite...true. How did they both get in the arena? It would have required the same barcode to be scanned twice. | {
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406,987 | Also pops up text on screen every time you open a red chest: "Guppy?" | {
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406,988 | No, this is: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4bQlR8MIG6M/TaWPVI5J5qI/AAAAAAAACM8/G0JOPVGbDqo/s1600/Perry_upskirt_jiggle.gif | {
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406,989 | It's okay, highpressuresodium. Just add some chloride and you'll have assault. | {
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406,990 | I upvoted this story just for your comment | {
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406,991 | Though, there are dicks walking around getting offended. | {
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406,992 | He is trolling a master troll!!!! You don't just troll edbassmaster! This man has balls. | {
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406,993 | To me it looked like generic Arab guy, maybe Bin Laden?\n\nEdit: Ok I should have put stereotypical generic Arab guy. | {
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406,994 | Makes sense to me. It's surprisingly accurate in that it ALWAYS MISSES. | {
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406,995 | Are we sure the DA is on reddit; maybe you can send him a link on his twitter? | {
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406,996 | Is a hernia check a normal/usual thing? I've only been checked once for a hernia, and that was when I had anal fissures. | {
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406,997 | What kind of translator would say "no translation" in the output language anyways? | {
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},
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} |
406,998 | The only two options that guarantee survival. | {
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} |
406,999 | Psst...Maybe he was a fraud. | {
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"harassment/threatening": 0.00008551529754186049
},
"flagged": false
} |
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