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1,200 | >Weight loss has so much affect on the face, when people lose large amounts of weight, its hard to tell that they are the same person.\n\nhttp://i.imgur.com/antKn6P.gif | {
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1,201 | Did you just provide the answer? Did this just happen? | {
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1,202 | Now he's itchin' down under. | {
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1,203 | It's good to know that inside we're all equally social awkward. | {
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1,204 | 1) Dead Kennedys still play? \n\n2) Who the fuck gets eaten out at a *Dead Kennedys* show in *2015*. | {
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1,205 | My fault (at least partly). Deepest apologies. | {
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1,206 | Im pretty fucking sure he wanted the "no translation" and op is just full of shit and made up the story about the translator | {
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1,207 | http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/05/h7C81F493.gif | {
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1,208 | 50 and still do it once in a while. Also jump from stair to stair on the way down. | {
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1,209 | Got reddit to watch a NASCAR commercial. | {
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1,210 | Also the only place I've ever had the hotel manager follow me to my room, then proceed to check the room for uninvited guests. | {
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1,211 | Now you know how I felt in 1997. I hope you don't feel how I did in 1999. :( | {
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1,212 | And the drugs just vanished into thin air, didn't they. | {
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1,213 | Standing master race reporting in.\nGf looks at me like I'm fucking nuts also. | {
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1,214 | Well I'm presuming she got to meet Johnny Cash after eating all that so.... | {
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1,215 | there's no way an 8 story tall crustacean from the protozoic era could follow two skanks in a car without them noticing. | {
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1,216 | OKAY MISDER SCIENDIST | {
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1,217 | I experimented with this for a while, but I also had "Eye of the Tiger" play as my alarm every morning.\n\nFor the first few weeks, it worked *swimmingly*. I woke up pumped up every morning and had a great start on every day.\n\nThen one morning I woke up three hours late and found the alarm clock smashed into pieces against the wall. I guess my subconscious got sick of that song. | {
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1,218 | Ha Ha, what a story Tommy. | {
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1,219 | I went and saw his show knowing it would probably suck. I had seen all the other Cirque shows and I like magic so I figured what the hell.\n\nThe early reviews were brutal and I figured that at some point either Criss or the Cirque people would have gotten enough bad press and made some changes.\n\nNope, the best trick he did was making $70 and 90mins of my life disappear. | {
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1,220 | http://i.imgur.com/lpipq.jpg | {
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1,221 | Reddit: Ruining the moment since 2005 | {
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1,222 | I think the most democratic Bill ever passed through the senate was actually Clinton. | {
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1,223 | That's amazing of you. I'm looking for a ps4 copy but i can't take it away from you without paying. And i have no idea how much the shopping cost would be. | {
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1,224 | Betty White and Jesus | {
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1,225 | Yo, dawg, we heard you like books so we installed a public address system, a bonsai tree, an ebook reader, a sound system, and a nitrous system, so you can page Page and Plant while listening to Page and Plant while turning the Page while you Book it with your Plant. | {
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1,226 | Funny how the entire world knows the Republican congress is made up of complete morons. | {
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1,227 | He touched Pam's leg. | {
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1,228 | That´s some Ned Flanders shit, dude. | {
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1,229 | Goats don't wear suspenders. | {
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1,230 | or a Kraftsman!\n\nEDIT: Thanks for the Gold! The cheesy cheesy gold goodness. | {
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1,231 | But hey, torturing and killing people on TV? No problem!\n\nThere's a lot of weird regulations about radio here too. You can say pussy if you're calling someone a pussy, but not if you're referring to a vagina. It's not a law but most radio companies won't let you say retard on the air. The Janet Jackson nip slip in 2004 made the FCC start enforcing censorship laws a lot more and it really fucking ruined a lot of entertainment.\n\nFuck the FCC. | {
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1,232 | "is it because of your hair?" | {
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1,233 | Either that or she's been frozen since WWII and is just trying to catch up... | {
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1,234 | MTV might not even be a channel anymore. | {
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1,235 | NYPD all choking a guy to death for selling loosie fries. | {
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1,236 | http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3qop0b/ | {
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1,237 | Write a stupid question, get a stupid answer. | {
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1,238 | All Bertha's are destined to be fat. | {
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1,239 | I agree. Especially since they can go to war at 18. | {
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1,240 | Princess Consuela Bananahammock | {
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1,241 | Sorry, we don't give sincere and thoughtful feedback here. Do you have something sarcastic to say about it? Or maybe a pun? | {
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1,242 | Orange is the new black | {
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1,243 | Medicine is amazing. | {
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1,244 | Did you open a window at least? | {
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1,245 | swimming with an erection helps guide you in the water. | {
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1,246 | That is impressive. I thought I was pretty good because I finished mine in a week. The box said 6 to 8 years. | {
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1,247 | Felt more like a brother/sister or guardianship thing to me. There was the race side, and I felt like he was thinking "this girl is going to get herself killed if she DAMMIT there she goes again I'd better go help." | {
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1,248 | Not many people know this, but Charlie is actually the one who shot Fiddy 9 times. | {
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1,249 | You know if films when they are holding on for their lives? I if you can't do a pull up you will probably die .\n\nMufasa skipped back day, and so simba lost his daddy. Do pullups or scar will kill you and take your pride. | {
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1,250 | Astrophysics, the business of television, baseball, wine, and women. | {
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1,251 | You're the first person who's reaction was like, "Wait, why am I 5???" Everyone else just seemed to accept it immediately. | {
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1,252 | Especially with Sony involved. | {
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1,253 | As a chubby dude when I tried that all I got were stares. Damn unfair society. | {
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1,254 | It took me a little too long to learn, if she likes it, DON'T CHANGE A THING | {
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1,255 | The Chex people were all like "woohoo!" then they got a little further and were like "oh..."\n | {
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1,256 | I asked the third deer to identify them all. Turns out the second deer was his bisexual friend Ray, but he didn't know the name of the doe.\n\nSo he just answered, "Doe-Ray-Me".\n***\n***\n^^Just ^^gonna ^^awkwardly ^^insert ^^something ^^here ^^at ^^the ^^bottom: ^^USE ^^TAU, ^^NOT ^^PI. | {
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1,257 | Yeah he was good, but he was no Einstein. \n\nEDIT: Everyone keeps writing 'he was wicked smaht" and i have no idea why. I must have triggered something. | {
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1,258 | > When you've had your first blood, I'll put a son in you\n\nFYI all you middle schoolers, this is the best pickup line. | {
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1,259 | Hey Kevin, you can use the photos | {
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1,260 | Wanna play battleshits? | {
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1,261 | He probably doesn't care one bit because he got paid a shit load of money, is incredibly famous, and is probably banging several girls at a time whenever he wants to. But a few people on reddit think he isn't muscular enough so that's probably gonna make him depressed. | {
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1,262 | Oh, great. He's handsome *and* a great guy. | {
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1,263 | That's just like my Grandma dying on April 1st 5 years ago. Good one grandma, you can stop pretending now. | {
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1,264 | I'm not buying shit. My plan might still work. | {
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1,265 | I've been getting the same commercial a lot lately, some asshole showing off his fancy car and then his massive bookshelf. What kind of dick makes a commercial out of that? | {
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1,266 | *bending over to pick something up* heuuurrrRGGHHHHHHHHHH\n\n*standing back up from a squatting position* HHHHGGGGRRRuueeeh | {
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1,267 | What did he say at his acceptance speech?\n\n\nHay, it's in my jeans | {
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1,268 | I can't afford jeans with holes in them,only the ones without. Jeans with holes are expensive. | {
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1,269 | That's what she (being over 18) said. | {
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1,270 | They would make it their goal to be "good people" and not kill anyone but end up accidentally killing everyone they meet | {
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1,271 | Man, I bet pirates threw you *right* the fuck off. | {
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1,272 | >You might not have time to shave your legs with a new baby ...\n\nI can see why you don't have time...that would take forever compared to a razor.\n\n | {
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1,273 | you are never the little spoon. she is the jetpack. Squeeze her arms and make rocket noises. | {
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1,274 | damned good parenting | {
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1,275 | In primitive goldfish hunter-gather tribes in the Congo. | {
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1,276 | Would you fight 1 dinner plate-sized wasp or 1,000 wasp-sized dinner plates? \n\nNevermind. \n\nedit: late to the party but thanks for the gold! | {
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1,277 | Immediately kill a homeless man. Assert dominance in front of the pack, establishing for yourself a new identity. | {
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1,278 | [ ] NOT REKT\n[X] REKT | {
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1,279 | Actually it's his twin brother Juan that's a little weird; Amaal is quite normal. People mix them up all the time though, which is where we get the expression "If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amaal". | {
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1,280 | I thought you liked surprises? | {
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1,281 | > She has no right to tell my child what to do! Who does she think she is?!\n\n...A teacher? Isn't that the whole fucking point of teachers? To *teach* and guide kids? Some parents are fucking crazy.\n\n | {
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1,282 | I believe we only use 10% of our hearts. | {
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1,283 | Especially Scott, he's a dick | {
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1,284 | After looking through 15 pages of the Griffith University website, here it is;\n\n[http://app.griffith.edu.au/news/2013/03/01/bold-koala-sculpture-has-attitude/](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) | {
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1,285 | Your life sounds like Game of Thrones.\n\nEdit: Out of all the quality content I try to bring to Reddit, my two highest rated comments are now mindless pop culture references. Reddit pls. | {
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1,286 | Parks and Rec S03E06\n\n**Chris Traeger**: Ann Perkins, what are you doing here? \n**Ann**: Whose pink razor is in your shower? \n**Chris**: Excuse me? \n**Ann**:Leslie found a pink razor and a pink swimming cap in your shower. Whose is it? \n**Chris**: I guess you're talking about my razor. I shave my legs for swimming, and women's razors work better. For whatever reason, men's razor technology hasn't figured out how to properly contour the shinbone. | {
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1,287 | Or countries. That's right Chad, what business do you have in africa? | {
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1,288 | Yes, but probably only a few hours\n\nParty at Cocoa Beach! | {
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1,289 | >I can see why I'm still his favourite pussy. \n\n-that cat | {
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1,290 | Can't flim flam the Zim Zam. | {
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1,291 | That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about candles to dispute it. | {
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1,292 | More often than not, these archers only had the one arm because a bear had taken their other. That led many of them to take up arms against the bears. In fact, this was why the founding fathers added "the right to bear arms" in the second amendment of the Gettysburg Address. | {
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1,293 | It's like in science, where you either reject the null hypothesis or fail to reject the null hypothesis. | {
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1,294 | "I don't get it?" Is my favourite response to racist/sexist/otherwise bigoted jokes. People get so uncomfortable, so quickly. | {
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1,295 | >I couldn't really find the vagina hole. \n\nHappens to the best of us. | {
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1,296 | That's a damn fine boss! As a kitchen guy. I seethe when I hear about a table mistreating our staff. The only thing stops me sometimes is that I don't know how our tables are numbered.\n\nEdit: phone.\n\nEdit 2: Dang! Highest point comment AND reddit gold? Thanks gals and guys! | {
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1,297 | I remember that. Hope it worked out well for you. | {
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1,298 | Seems like only 3/5 of reddit gets the joke. | {
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1,299 | "Hahahahaha, you followed orders!" | {
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Subsets and Splits