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Me too. I can't believe her oldest client was a baby. | {
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So no midgets, but just children? Oh, goody, no politically incorrect content then. | {
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This ain't yo grandma's Disney. | {
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MY MOMMY SAYD DAT I HAS TO SHARE DA TOYS WIT MY BRODER JONATON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON WANA WEDDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | {
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That's not so much a joke as it's a Kafka novel. | {
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Yes, mod that down gaming noobs. | {
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Or the door to door soliciting. | {
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Seriously? You think this happens only in Britain and Australia? Fuck, I've seen a lot of you guys call US people ignorant. | {
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Who listens to a 5 year old regarding investments in the first place?
Edit: Yeah, I get it you turds. If the kid was using logic and blah blah blah he'd be convincing blah blah blah profit! | {
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I use it. It's awesome. | {
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I didn't even notice until I read your comment. The whole time I was thinking that this gif would've been more impressive if he'd actually hit the target. | {
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So small that they have the double the number of trophies Arsenal and Liverpool have combined in the last 10 seasons. Boo hoo | {
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> Mandy Patinkin left the cast of Criminal Minds because the content in the show was getting too dark and morbid for him
That lighthearted romp *Homeland*, on the other hand... | {
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Yeah nothing wrong with being a complete hypocrite. | {
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2. clarinet and drums | {
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That's an euphemism.
EDIT : looks like the illiterates in here have no idea what this word means. | {
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they are normal people so they are freaked out because it's way too fast and way too far. even i myself get freaked out a little bit about it. we were not ready for this | {
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There was some room, but not enough for somebody to be trying to merge inbetween us without even using his turn signal. | {
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One would say that, due to his hippocratic oath, he should protect everyone's children by proxy.
This guy is a fucking idiot. | {
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Flipping burgers is a poverty job. The only people who should be working at The Golden Arches are students and managers. If you are an adult and flipping burgers is your "career" than you have likely made some pretty poor choices for which poverty is the natural result. | {
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This. I was in agony a few days after, crying while peeing, and my mom waited for me outside the bathroom door. She was like "honey, did you have sex?" and I was like, "how did you know?" Then we went to the gyno for BC and antibiotics, and then out to a movie. My UTI ratted me out to my mom, but she saved the day. | {
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Its surprises me how many people are already living a virtual existence. Sad really. | {
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We're waiting for you over at r/dadjokes | {
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<*Insert comment riding coattails of obvious top comment*> | {
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In the off chance u/elonmuskofficial reads this, Elon, we think you're awesome, too. <3 All of us at Squad. | {
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8 whole goals, what a star! | {
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Or spend your evenings having wacky adventures when the museum exhibits mysteriously come to life! | {
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I respectfully disagree. At least PETA follows animal welfare guidelines when euthanizing certain animals. To hell with your whiney personal stories about your horse or your cat. On the whole they do fantastic work and volunteer their time to protect animals.
Can we please stop the anti-PETA circlejerk? Imagine a world **WITHOUT** PETA (a non-profit organisation) ಠ_ಠ | {
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Its not too comfortable for me either and I'm american. | {
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GAGA MAMY why DADA PUT his SnakE ON My VAGINIA!!!! GOO GAH goo I wana pwuay owieee!!!!!!! | {
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She definitely isn't a gold digger. | {
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TITS!
Sorry. I just had to, even at risk of downvotes. | {
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Women do this in many places. I was at a club recently and multiple women were waiting to use the men's bathroom.
Men are threatened with being arrested if they attempt to use the Women's bathroom. | {
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Are you insane?
What the fuck does the Soviet Union have to do with anything? When are you idiots on the right wing going to shut the fuck up? How many times does laissez faire economics have to fail before you SHUT THE FUCK UP?!
You "free market" morons are the fucking problem. | {
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The National drinking age is 18. The federal government will only supply funding for road repair and expansion if the state's drinking age is 21.
Edited the thing that guy said.
Edit 2: federal drinking age is 18. The fed doesn't regulate that nationally. Overseas US soil is at least 18. | {
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Honestly, the really sad thing was the fact that so many women were responding.
I swear to god, all the girls in that thread either have massive daddy issues, shitty self esteem, or a desperate need for attention. | {
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Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. | {
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lol no. People will remember Kanye for pretty much the same reasons they remember Hitler. | {
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Liberia: 1
US: 0
| {
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i can't wait until you get the same | {
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Reminds me of a twighlight zone episode where a guy who loves reading is the last person left on earth and he finds a library. He goes in and sees the tens of thousands of books and is at peace. He opens the first one and his glasses fall off and smash. | {
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So the items should probably be around the 7.49-7.99 price point, but because Valve gives 25% to the creator, it gets bumped to 9.99. It's kinda like CafePress. Not a bad system but because there is a middle man, the bottom line gets inflated. | {
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Or a guy that needed a lot of painting and electrical work done. | {
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DIS ONE TYME I BET MY BRODER JONATON DAT HE CUDN'T EAT HIS POO POO!!!!!!! AFTER HE ATE DA POO POO HE DEAD!!!!!!! NOW I GET ALL DA TOYS SO I HAPPYY GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | {
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No, this happened exactly how it should, the strong survive. | {
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Except that when women were burned at the stake and drowned for literally nothing,this is pretty damn understandable.
Granted it's been some time since that's happened, but I understand the sentiment. You have a right to be angry at those who punished you. | {
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The moderator is the type of person who is always the antagonist in post apocalyptic movies. | {
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It's illegal for a reason. You shouldn't do drugs unless they've been recommended by your doctor. I'm epileptic and I'm sick of people telling me to try Marijuana, the drugs I'm on work well enough. | {
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I guess this is the girl version of scratching your balls and smelling your hand. | {
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Fucking first world problem right there. | {
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You caught me! Middlebury College is secretly using upvotes instead of food as a reward in its animal research. | {
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Who cares, dude?
They're dirty fucking Arabs. Kill them all, those worthless pieces of rat shit. | {
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Finding ways to type words like "boobs" was enough fun for me when using calculators. | {
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I searched Greese and it automatically assumes I was searching for the movie Grease. I had the country in mind. I had to click on a different link just to confirm I really wanted greese. | {
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I don't have the link, but there was one thread where a dude didn't realize you put the shower curtain inside the tub while you're showering. He had been getting water all over the floor every time his whole life. | {
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I used to be the most important thing in a relationship, but then I took an arrow too the knee | {
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...did you just laugh at your own joke? | {
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halfway? try about 5% | {
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Obligatory: allowing someone to enter on a round-about. It isn't safe, RA's only work if everyone acts in self interest. | {
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MY MOMMYY SAYD DAT YOU MAY HAVE BEN WAPED BY DA OLD PEEPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALL DA POWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOO GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | {
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Should have hit them with the bottle. | {
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Oh no! Muh karma. Just a bunch of hypocrites on this subreddit because the girl is hot. Classic. | {
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You can use it to cut up lines | {
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lol @ your misfortune works quite well actually | {
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Two cocks and a bitch with a hairy pussy?
Don't click it. | {
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LmAo PleAsE sToP iiiiiiii'M DyiiiiiiiiiiNg oF LaUghTeR !!!! **nOt**
*AhhahAHahahHAhahAHA LmAo00ooooOoOOO 0Wn3D !!* | {
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It's okay, Tony, I play with yourself too. | {
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Not to mention that it's easily possible that he's too slow mentally to have even reacted. | {
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To save this boy's sex life, I will upvote you. | {
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fucking came here to say this. | {
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I'm not sure you'd call them *bands*. They're more like *Scandinavian spiritual folk collectives*. | {
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Holy shit.
This has been re-posted so many fucking times.
EDIT : GOLD, GOLD I TELLS YE !!!!
To all those who downvoted me, you may feel a slight wet, tingling sensation going up your face.
That's me licking that sweet, sweet negative downvote tear off you.
Nom
Nom
Nom | {
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It's like a fucking jerk reaction, **instant hatred for everything, everywhere** | {
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Yep. I definitely reacted poorly to VA. I did personally apologize to him and he mentioned it wasn't a big deal because he's particularly good at getting a rise out of people. | {
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That's like 3 million dollars. | {
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You're a faggot nigger, turn or burn. | {
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Or even when the gas station across the street has a huge line of cars because they're one cent cheaper. If I offered to pay you a dime to waste ten minutes of your time I'd be laughed at. | {
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Wait...people know this song? I thought that my 2nd grade music school teacher had written it. | {
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In the year 20xx, the only viable name is Fox. | {
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Sorry brah. It happened. and you know it happened because I actually didnt take pics... | {
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I like to kill puppies. | {
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How's he heartless? He worked to make money. I don't see how's this heartless. | {
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*picks up phone*
"You've got The Power!" | {
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I've been proven wrong...she apparently doesn't know her ex sent her a pic of something her daughter didn't write. Thanks! | {
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That seems like a really smart move... | {
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So would you prefer that women are allowed to enter and compete against men in power lifting competitions where they would undoubtedly lose every time? Being judged differently is not the criteria for sexism, it's prejudicial treatment. Just thought I'd clear that up for you. | {
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What an insidious government plot that could be. Truly could be a cover up on a huge scale. Aliens at Roswell, the grassy knoll shooter, and now nobody sneezes anymore. | {
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First, and last, upvote gif i upvoted | {
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Doing this.
Edit: I am now single. | {
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spoken like a redditor | {
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And going to bed is the most pleasant. I'll do that a few more times! | {
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I for one support /u/AlyoshaV as the new SRD mod. | {
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>a bit
That's an understatement.
I've never read a single account of a story that portrays Michael Jordan as a decent person or even a person who just *isn't* a dick.
Jordan is notorious for being a huge douchebag. | {
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Why do you automatically assume it's a male? Fucking ciscum, this is the 22nd century not the 1700s. | {
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My favorite jazz genre: Domestic Dispute Jazz
Edit: Obligatory thanks for the gold stranger!
Edit Follow up joke: Since my comment about jazz has been gilded, it means the yearly national spending on jazz has doubled. | {
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Ah, so you actually have no point. Sorry for engaging. | {
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Aaand I realize what I just said :/ | {
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Ikr? People love my links by for some reason my comments always get downvoted. It's like people don't even appreciate the effort it takes to make front page posts 😔 | {
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Sorry to hear about your mom. | {
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Please refrain from harassing people here. Calling homosexuality a choice is homophobia. LGBT 101. Learn a thing before you start spewing bullshit all over my sub. | {
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