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"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?"
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Jokes
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"A man goes into a brothel"
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Jokes
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"A couple want to have children but the wife can't get pregnant"
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Jokes
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"Bill Gates woke up in the morning and found that his Mexican housekeepers were gone."
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Jokes
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"I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes..."
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Jokes
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"I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her personal trainer."
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Jokes
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"A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as he gets home it fucks all of his 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens."
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Jokes
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"A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks."
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Jokes
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"A school bus full of Catholic girls drives off a cliff and they all die."
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Jokes
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"Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married."
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Jokes
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"A Russian, an American, and a British admiral were having a drink on an American aircraft carrier. They were talking about the bravery of their sailors"
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Jokes
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"What's the most sensitive part of a man's body during masturbation?"
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Jokes
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"The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve."
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Jokes
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"An Australian goes to new Zealand"
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Jokes
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"My (blonde) sister hates blonde jokes. I (redhead) told her I have a redhead joke for her. She was eager to hear it!"
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Jokes
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"My first time buying condoms, at age 16, I went to the pharmacy. The hot cashier at the counter could see that I was new at it and gave me the pack asking if I knew how to use one. I said, "No, it's my first time.""
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Jokes
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"Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on mars?"
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Jokes
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"How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?"
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Jokes
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"I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn""
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Jokes
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"My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther"
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Jokes
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"Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?"
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Jokes
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"If your phone auto corrects "fuck" to "duck," it's okay to keep it"
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Jokes
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"What's a pirate's least favorite letter?"
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Jokes
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"If i had $1 for every girl that didn't find me attractive.."
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Jokes
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"“Father, do you have anything to declare?”"
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Jokes
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"It must be hard for people learning to spell in English. For example, there is one silent K in "knight", four silent K's in "knickknack""
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Jokes
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"It's a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore...."
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Jokes
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"I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow, addressed to, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands..."
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Jokes
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"Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?"
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Jokes
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"I like my women like I like my coffee"
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Jokes
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"Apparently my family is racist"
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Jokes
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"Statistics show that the average person has sex 89 times a year"
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Jokes
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"My wife asked me how she compared to past girlfriends..."
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Jokes
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"This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!""
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Jokes
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"The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast"
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Jokes
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"Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter"
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Jokes
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"My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning"
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Jokes
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"I trapped a couple of vegans in my basement."
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Jokes
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"9 months later!!!"
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Jokes
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"As Jack was marrying Jill, his father gave him some advice “Son, when I got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was strip her naked, take off my pants..."
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Jokes
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"A plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51"
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Jokes
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"The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from..."
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Jokes
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"I’m okay with smoking, alcohol, and marijuana."
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Jokes
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"In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point.""
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Jokes
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"Yo mama so ugly..."
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Jokes
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"So Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop..."
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Jokes
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"Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.""
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Jokes
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"Did you hear about the drummer who gave all his daughters the same name?"
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Jokes
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"My 8 year old son's joke: What do you call an ox with big butt?"
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Jokes
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"My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her."
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Jokes
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"Tom's scrotum"
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Jokes
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"Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other…"
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Jokes
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"I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukakke party."
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Jokes
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"4 types of orgasm..."
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Jokes
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"My husband and son getting competitive while playing games."
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Jokes
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"A night out with 1$ "
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Jokes
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"Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t."
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Jokes
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"In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50. In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $5.50."
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Jokes
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"In a crowded city at a bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket..."
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Jokes
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"A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives."
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Jokes
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"The UK Prime Minister just announced her resignation."
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Jokes
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"My ex just sneezed and I accidentally said "bless you""
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Jokes
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"My Crush just sneezed and I accidentally said "bless you""
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Jokes
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"I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.""
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Jokes
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"What do you call a flower getting a sex change?"
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Jokes
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"A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250."
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Jokes
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"A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble and he loses all his money. He doesn't even have enough for a cab, but he flagged one down anyway. He explained to the driver that he would pay him back next time and gave him his phone number, but the driver told him, "Get the fuck out of my cab.""
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Jokes
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"An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess"."
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Jokes
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"I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, "Wow! That could have been me!""
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Jokes
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"2 tampons are walking past each other, which one says "hi", first."
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Jokes
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"I got my covid test results and I'm so confused.. it was just the number 83..."
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess."
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Jokes
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"I used to shave my testicles with a razor blade."
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Jokes
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"Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude in a garden, while a sexy and beautiful big breasted nude model danced before them."
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Jokes
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"A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'"
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Jokes
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"Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete?"
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Jokes
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"I got thrown out of math class today."
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Jokes
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"Kung Fu student asks his teacher"
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Jokes
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"Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!"
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Jokes
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"My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10."
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch Netflix."
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Jokes
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"George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie..."
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Jokes
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"Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an "i" in it."
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Jokes
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"There was a woman who had 100 kids.."
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Jokes
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"Nobody ever asks how Coca-Cola is doing..."
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Jokes
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"Went for a walk with my new girlfriend"
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Jokes
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"No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead, people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting “Another One Bites The Dust”"
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Jokes
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"My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.""
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Jokes
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"I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB"
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Jokes
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"Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.""
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Jokes
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"Three men, aged 40, 60 and 80, discuss their sex lives"
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Jokes
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"Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community..."
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Jokes
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"I proposed my russian girlfriend and she said yes"
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Jokes
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"Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you."
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Jokes
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"A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house."
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Jokes
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"If having sex for money makes you a whore"
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Jokes
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"What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?"
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Jokes
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"A fellow stuck in a coronavirus outbreak, prayed to God for help."
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Jokes
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"Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?""
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Jokes
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"How did Kim Kardashian tell her kid about her upcoming divorce with Kanye?"
|
Jokes
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