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"A math teacher welcomed a new French exchange student into her class and then started teaching a lesson on fractions."
Jokes
"A man’s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes, so he walks down to the store only to find it closed."
Jokes
"A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out."
Jokes
"Why was Yoda afraid of 7?"
Jokes
"My wife’s sister visited us yesterday in her brand new Porsche."
Jokes
"A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light."
Jokes
"Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians"
Jokes
"A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while . . ."
Jokes
"A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time."
Jokes
"A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant"
Jokes
"My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…"
Jokes
"I tried to translate joke from Arabic"
Jokes
"No Nut November was pretty tough"
Jokes
"The largest condom factory in the States burned down."
Jokes
"my wife asked me if I wish she had been born with big tits."
Jokes
"Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.""
Jokes
"Scarlett Johansson and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck."
Jokes
"Two men are drinking in a bar"
Jokes
"I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell"
Jokes
"I've never understood how the Nazis couldn't find where Anne Frank was hiding"
Jokes
"Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now."
Jokes
"After 3 years, the wife starts to think..."
Jokes
"Harry Potter has way too many characters..."
Jokes
"Little johnny wakes up one night hearing noises from his parents bedroom..."
Jokes
"‌‌TIL i‌‌n 1‌‌974 R‌‌ussians a‌‌ccidentally b‌‌lew u‌‌p t‌‌heir o‌‌wn s‌‌ubmarine, t‌‌hinking i‌‌t w‌‌as a‌‌n e‌‌nemy"
Jokes
"I have two conditions in my will..."
Jokes
"A Politician Dies And Has To Spend Just ONE Day In Hell"
Jokes
"An English couple decided to adopt a little German boy. After two years, the child doesn’t speak and his parents start to worry about him. After three years, he still has not spoken and after four years, he has yet to utter a word."
Jokes
"My son came home as I was taking his door off it’s hinges and asked “Dad what are you doing?”"
Jokes
"6:30 is the best time on a clock"
Jokes
"Slutty girls are like Wal-Marts"
Jokes
"A man and woman, both married separately, had to share a room one night on a business trip."
Jokes
"In an African tribe village, the chieftain's wife gave birth to a white skinned child."
Jokes
"Dads of Reddit: Happy Father's Day..."
Jokes
"Two nuns are walking down the street when they notice that a man is following them."
Jokes
"After my wife died I couldn’t look at women for 20 years"
Jokes
"Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont think twice.."
Jokes
"The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “It’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”"
Jokes
"An 18 year old girl tells her mom that she has missed her last 2 periods"
Jokes
""I love you lots snuggles" said my girlfriend"
Jokes
" My girlfriends name is Wendy and I had it tattooed on my penis."
Jokes
"A husband notices his wife’s hearing is deteriorating and decides to visit her doctor for advice."
Jokes
"My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died."
Jokes
"My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, "Which one do you want?""
Jokes
"A man goes into a local bookstore and asks the young lady assistant,"
Jokes
"Ben Shapiro dies in a plane crash. Wanna know why it crashes?"
Jokes
"Larry the Fighter Pilot"
Jokes
"A 90 year old Holocaust survivor told me this joke."
Jokes
"A young guy met a sixty years old woman at a bar and she looked pretty good for her age."
Jokes
"I live in Pripyat and I just finished watching Chernobyl"
Jokes
"A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference"
Jokes
"Why are murders so difficult to solve in Alabama?"
Jokes
"What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage?"
Jokes
"When you say "poop" your mouth moves in the same way your anus does."
Jokes
"My wife says if this post gets over 1000 upvotes, I can get anal."
Jokes
"Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day."
Jokes
"What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?"
Jokes
"A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.”"
Jokes
"My wife told me, “If anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new.”"
Jokes
"One day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him."
Jokes
"A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company."
Jokes
"A man in a bar starts talking to a prostitute."
Jokes
"A couple wants to have sex but their 8 year old son named Timmy is in the house.."
Jokes
"My roommate says our house is haunted"
Jokes
"A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar."
Jokes
"Asian guy walks into a bar"
Jokes
"”Will you marry me?” Is a marriage proposal."
Jokes
"Help us fight for net neutrality!"
askscience
"Stephen Hawking megathread"
askscience
"Black Lives Matter"
askscience
"A message to our users"
askscience
"Why is it that during winter it's not uncommon to have days with abnormally high temperature and summer-like weather, but in the summer it never drops to winter-like weather for a day?"
askscience
"If we could travel at 99.9% the speed of light, it would take 4 years to get to Alpha Centauri. Would the people on the spaceship feel like they were stuck on board for 4 years or would it feel shorter for them?"
askscience
"Do giraffes get struck by lightning more often than other animals?"
askscience
"What % of my weight am I actually lifting when doing a push-up?"
askscience
"What is the point of using screws with a Phillips head, flathead, allen, hex, etc. instead of just having one universal screw type?"
askscience
"If hand sanitizer kills 99.99% of germs, then won't the surviving 0.01% make hand sanitizer resistant strains?"
askscience
"Do heavily forested regions of the world like the eastern United States experience a noticeable difference in oxygen levels/air quality during the winter months when the trees lose all of their leaves?"
askscience
"Does the size of a creature, or the size of its eye, affect what can be seen by the "naked eye"? for example, can ants see things we consider microscopic? are ants microscopic to elephants?"
askscience
"Can my 7 year old ask you about tornadoes?"
askscience
"Why do we have to "fall" asleep? Why can't we just decide to be asleep?"
askscience
"Have a question about the 2019 novel coronavirus (2019-nCoV)? Ask us here!"
askscience
"For humans, sea water is not drinkable due to its high salt content. How do whales, manatees, seals, and other sea faring mammals stay hydrated?"
askscience
"Why do nearsighted people need a prescription and a $300 pair of glasses, while farsighted people can buy their glasses at the dollar store?"
askscience
"Many of us haven’t been sick in over a year due to lack of exposure to germs (COVID stay at home etc). Does this create any risk for our immune systems in the coming years?"
askscience
"Asked my chemistry teacher (first year of highschool) this "Why do we use the mole (unit) instead of just using the mass (grams) isn't it easier to handle given the fact that we can weigh it easily? why the need to use the mole?" And he said he "doesn't answer to stupid questions""
askscience
"If we return to the moon, is there a telescope on earth today strong enough to watch astronauts walking around on the surface?"
askscience
"If climate change is a serious threat and sea levels are going to rise or are rising, why don’t we see real-estate prices drastically decreasing around coastal areas?"
askscience
"When a person gets a cut, is it better to wipe off the blood or let the blood coagulate to protect the cut?"
askscience
"The recent fire in London was traced to an electrical fault in a fridge freezer. How can you trace with such accuracy what was the single appliance that caused it?"
askscience
"The video game "Subnautica" depicts an alien planet with many exotic underwater ecosystems. One of these is a "lava zone" where molten lava stays in liquid form under the sea. Is this possible?"
askscience
"Why do we use pillows now when we sleep? Did we need this during the prehistoric/ancient age? What changed?"
askscience
"Similar to increasing wealth gap, are we experiencing an increasing educational gap? Are well-educated getting more educated and under-educated staying under-educated?"
askscience
"Why are Primates incapable of Human speech, while lesser animals such as Parrots can emulate Human speech?"
askscience
"If light can travel freely through space, why isn’t the Earth perfectly lit all the time? Where does all the light from all the stars get lost?"
askscience
"Why do computers and game consoles need to restart in order to install software updates?"
askscience
"If each day is only 23h56m4s, over the course of 4 years, we accumulate 95.7 hours of unaccounted time when approximating each day to 24 hours. We give ourselves one extra day in February, which accounts for only 24 hours of that extra time, but where does that extra 71.7 hours go?"
askscience
"What percentage of 74-year-olds survive a COVID-19 diagnosis?"
askscience
"Ethiopia is building the largest hydroelectric power plant in Africa, Egypt opposes the dam which it believes will reduce the amount of water that it gets, Ethiopia asserts that the dam will in fact increase water flow to Egypt by reducing evaporation on Egypt's Lake Nasser, How so?"
askscience
"What does "The Universe is not locally real" mean?"
askscience