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"If Centaurs were real, the bottom half would start walking around immediately after being born, while the top half would be all floppy for the first two years." | Showerthoughts |
"The most futuristic thing in the Star Wars universe is probably that planets are always seen as one unity and not hundreds of countries." | Showerthoughts |
"Due to coin flips, George Washington still makes decisions to this day." | Showerthoughts |
"The part of The Ugly Duckling no one ever mentions is that, after a lifetime of bullying, the duckling grows into a swan, the undisputed biggest asshole of the bird kingdom." | Showerthoughts |
"Technically, your alarm tone is your theme song as it starts every episode" | Showerthoughts |
"Worst part of being a kid was not having adults take you seriously when you knew what you were talking about" | Showerthoughts |
"Due to it almost only being populated by researchers, Antartica is technicaly the continent with the highest average IQ and education." | Showerthoughts |
"Someone just decided blue ink pens were equally as acceptable as black and everyone just played along." | Showerthoughts |
"If you’re no longer covered by your parent’s health insurance, your manufacturer’s warranty is over." | Showerthoughts |
"Kids shows led us to believe the Mayor of your city was way more important and much more common to see around town than they are." | Showerthoughts |
"if society collapsed, amazon warehouses will be fought over fiercely for being giant real-life lootboxes" | Showerthoughts |
"Spider-Man almost certainly has auto-rotate turned off on his phone." | Showerthoughts |
"Since The Matrix was released in 1999, cellphones have been replacing landlines and payphones, the only way that we were shown how to get out." | Showerthoughts |
"People will swim in the ocean, even though there are definitely many corpses in it. People will not swim in a pool with a corpse in it. Humans all have a corpse:water ratio that is acceptable for them to swim in." | Showerthoughts |
"Ads before videos has sucked a lot of the fun out of Rick Rolling." | Showerthoughts |
"Being part of a major historical event sucks." | Showerthoughts |
"If your grandparents or parents tell the same stories over and over again, it’s not because they’re losing their memory, it’s because they like remembering them." | Showerthoughts |
"Looking for a job is about convincing a bunch of Mr. Krabs that you're a Spongebob when you're actually a Patrick, until you slowly become Squidward." | Showerthoughts |
"Bottled water companies do not produce water, they produce plastic bottles." | Showerthoughts |
"Tom and Jerry is one of the most distinct case of child v.s. adult perspective in which as a child you think Jerry is witty and correct but as an adult you see that Tom is being bullied by Jerry whilst attempting to live his life as a normal house cat." | Showerthoughts |
"It’s funny how, as you progress through college, they require you to write longer and longer papers. Then you get to the professional world and no one will read an email that’s more than 5 sentences." | Showerthoughts |
"Not being a Game of Thrones fan today feels like being a non-football fan on Super Bowl Sunday." | Showerthoughts |
"Vanilla becoming the default flavour of ice cream is the greatest underdog story of all time." | Showerthoughts |
"Technically, the mailman has never gotten in the house, so as far as the dog knows, his barking is working." | Showerthoughts |
"Your salary is your company's monthly subscription fee of you." | Showerthoughts |
"You know you've made it when your couches aren't against a wall." | Showerthoughts |
"Comic Con is the best way to see what your favorite characters would look like if they let themselves get out of shape." | Showerthoughts |
"All these social media posts about listing your first job and first car and favorite color seem like a pretty obvious ploy to figure out people’s passwords." | Showerthoughts |
"Eventually, most of the content on the internet will be from dead people." | Showerthoughts |
"Being proactive is rarely rewarded, because if your actions avoid a tragedy, there is no tragedy to prove your actions were warranted." | Showerthoughts |
"When you buy pizza from a place that sells it by the slice, you're essentially having a pizza party with a bunch of strangers that day." | Showerthoughts |
"200 years ago, people would never have guessed that humans in the future would communicate by silently tapping on glass" | Showerthoughts |
"At a certain point in your life, sitting at home alone, watching TV on a Friday night goes from being super depressing to the most enjoyable part of your week." | Showerthoughts |
"Everybody thought having a calculator on you at all times was gonna be a gamechanger but the real shit is having a flashlight" | Showerthoughts |
"Male country singers talk about how good they are to women, while female country singers talk about how terrible the men are." | Showerthoughts |
"Our parents warned us for years about the 'dangers' of the internet while knowing nothing about it, then finally dove in and fell for every. Single. One." | Showerthoughts |
"Peer pressure as an adult is seeing your neighbor mow their lawn." | Showerthoughts |
"Grass is fucking weird. It's a living organism, & it's everywhere. There's so much of it, and it will probably never go extinct. It's so common that it's absence would actually be more noticeable than it's existence. Nobody ever thinks about it, but it gets even weirder if you think about it longer." | Showerthoughts |
"In 1920 kids thought "100 years from now, people must have flying cars!" but really, a massive worldwide network of data utilizing the processing power of billions of devices allowing complex communication across the globe is somehow more impressive." | Showerthoughts |
"Imagine how rich you would have had to be 200 years ago to have music playing in the background while you cook dinner" | Showerthoughts |
"The banana is no longer the food item that looks most phone-like. The pop tart is." | Showerthoughts |
"Knowing you have the next day off is more relieving than the actual day off" | Showerthoughts |
"When we're young, we sneak out our house to go to parties. When we're old, we sneak out of parties to go home." | Showerthoughts |
"Instead of a Mummy’s Curse, in a couple hundred years when archaeologists are sitting through data on old computers, someone’s accidentally going to unleash an ancient computer virus into their network" | Showerthoughts |
"Babies don't know dreams aren't real, so they must think they have some crazy adventures with you every day." | Showerthoughts |
"When looking at the stars, you become the unique, final resting place for billions of photons that travelled thousands of light years only to make your life a little brighter." | Showerthoughts |
"The Kardashian family is made up of a man who transformed into a woman (Tiresius), sisters who so ravenously crave attention they'll do anything to get it (Harpys), and a mother slowly turning to stone due to plastic surgery (Niobe). The Kardashians are Greek myths come to life for the 21st century." | Showerthoughts |
"In 10-15 years gamer dads will join the sports dads who "could've gone pro if it werent for......."" | Showerthoughts |
"Generation X and Millennials will probably be the first generations in recent history to tell their kids about how much easier life was when they were kids." | Showerthoughts |
"In movies, there are two kinds of vents. Human sized vents and vents that are big enough only for the smallest, least experienced member of the group." | Showerthoughts |
"If you think you ever fucked up bad, just remember somewhere an ant brought borax laced food to the colony killing the queen and the colony" | Showerthoughts |
"Pirates have always seemed good about employing people with physical disabilities." | Showerthoughts |
"When you walk through a grocery store and they are playing good music. You have become their target demographic." | Showerthoughts |
"Nearly everyone values a human life over the life of an fish, but few people value a single human life over the life of every fish. Meaning everyone has a certain number of fish that they would prefer to be alive over Steve from work." | Showerthoughts |
"Waking up in the morning sometimes feels like resuming a shitty movie you decided to quit watching" | Showerthoughts |
"The most unrealistic thing about Spy movies is how clean the air ventilation system is!" | Showerthoughts |
"Due to most people not having full blown professional kitchens, a cooking show that only uses basic ingredients and a microwave to create dishes would probably be pretty popular." | Showerthoughts |
"If humans were ever to prove the theory that our universe is a simulation, it would simultaneously become the moment when artificial intelligence becomes self-aware, ironically making humanity the artificial intelligence all along." | Showerthoughts |
"A lot less people would buy a lottery ticket if the rule was "pick a number between 1 and 300 million. If you guess right, you win."" | Showerthoughts |
"That "No alcohol beyond this point" might as well say, "Bet you can't chug that whole beer."." | Showerthoughts |
"People don’t really want to go back to a time when the world was simpler. They want to go back to a time when they didn’t understand how complicated the world has always been." | Showerthoughts |
"For being a high school in Europe, Hogwarts has a surprising lack of cigarettes." | Showerthoughts |
"Some stranger somewhere still remembers you because you were kind to them when no one else was." | Showerthoughts |
"There must be millions of people who still spell out B-E-A-UTIFUL in their head the same way Jim Carrey did in Bruce Almighty." | Showerthoughts |
"A college class is like Dora the Explorer. The professor asks a question, stares blankly for a few seconds, then answers his own question." | Showerthoughts |
"Since the voice actors og Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are married, there is a good chance they have done Mickey and Minnie Mouse voice during sex." | Showerthoughts |
"You are probably closer to being a millionaire than Bill Gates." | Showerthoughts |
"You can tell a lot about an organisation by the quality of the toilet paper they provide for their employees" | Showerthoughts |
"One day Rick Astley will die and no one will click on the headline." | Showerthoughts |
"We've reached an oddly secure place as a species when we're rooting for the number of tigers and lions in nature to increase." | Showerthoughts |
"People with anxiety are basically way too aware of being alive" | Showerthoughts |
"People sentenced to house arrest last year really lucked out timing wise" | Showerthoughts |
"Some people drink more before age 21 than after age 21" | Showerthoughts |
"While we sleep our brain makes up stories and then gets scared of them" | Showerthoughts |
"There's probably some women out there whose children secretly belong to the wrong man and are freaking out about the fact that people are taking DNA tests for fun." | Showerthoughts |
"Cashiers in US are not allowed to sit because it is 'impolite' but no one knows who finds it impolite except the hypothetical 'some people'." | Showerthoughts |
"If you were bulletproof, you would probably live your entire life without knowing." | Showerthoughts |
"The title of “oldest person alive” is a relatively permanent one. Once you earn it you get to keep it for the rest of your life." | Showerthoughts |
"If future historians don't know how to decode multiple layers of sarcasm, the internet's really going to throw them off." | Showerthoughts |
"The guy who killed batman's parents saved tons of lives." | Showerthoughts |
"0%, 99% and 100% are the most worrying numbers to see a progress bar pause a long time on." | Showerthoughts |
"As a kid, you are bullied by people who don't like you, and your friends are nice. Once you're older, you're bullied by your friends, and people who don't like you are nice" | Showerthoughts |
"Knowledge is knowing that you can carry all of the groceries in at once. Wisdom is making multiple trips so that by the time you are done, other family members have put away most of the groceries." | Showerthoughts |
"In spongebob, there are times when Spongebob goes to work and Patrick is already there eating a Krabby Patty. This implies that there is another chef that works before Spongebob." | Showerthoughts |
"A shark eating a human thinking it’s a seal is the equivalent of a human eating a raisin cookie thinking it was chocolate chip" | Showerthoughts |
"If a sloth were to clap, it will always sound sarcastic." | Showerthoughts |
"If you don't wear the right clothes when you go for a run, you look like an insane person." | Showerthoughts |
"Getting a song stuck in your head wouldn't be so bad if it was the full song instead of 10 seconds on loop." | Showerthoughts |
"If it wasn’t for their fame, Harry, Ron and Hermione probably wouldn’t have gotten jobs since they didn’t attend the last year of school and didn’t take their leaving exams." | Showerthoughts |
"If women were the ones with the ballsack, there would be so many bogus scrotal beautification products like special braces and wraps to keep it tight and smooth as you age." | Showerthoughts |
"A 3 day break, you feel well rested. A 5+ day break, you forget how to be a productive member of society." | Showerthoughts |
"It's hard to let someone know that they're bad at taking criticsm." | Showerthoughts |
"If magic was real it would just be a branch of science" | Showerthoughts |
"Fahrenheit is basically asking humans how hot it feels. Celsius is basically asking water how hot it feels. Kelvin is basically asking atoms how hot it feels." | Showerthoughts |
"Whoever said that man is the only animal that kills for sport or fun never had a fucking cat." | Showerthoughts |
"You know you've reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner." | Showerthoughts |
"It's surprising there aren't any conspiracy theories that the ocean is bottomless because most people have never been to the seafloor." | Showerthoughts |
"Learning more advanced math in school basically unlocks more buttons of the calculator." | Showerthoughts |
"Young people now hate Boomers for destroying the housing market. Young people in the future will hate Millenials for destroying their privacy." | Showerthoughts |
"The hardest thing to believe about Batman is that not 1 distant relative tried claiming him in order to inherit the Wayne fortune." | Showerthoughts |
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