Ynir/idk_project_v1_01 · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Quick, you have 10 seconds to grab an object that will become your weapon against the final boss, Ellen DeGeneres. What are you grabbing and are you winning?	A 10" black rubber c**k...its her kryptonite
What would you chose Have no nose, but have really good smelling fingers? Or be blind but have a really nice smile?	Wrong sub
What is something that is commonly done in public that people should stop doing?	Watching videos or listening to music on their phones without any sort of headphones! How do people do this and not realize they annoy the living hell out of everyone else? Also, being in public and talking on speakerphone. I do not want to hear what Martha did at work today Jennifer!
Females, what makes you ghost a guy you were talking to?	When seemingly all of a sudden their facade slips off, and some basement goblin takes over. Not actually listening to you and asking the same questions over and over again. Not reading your profile and coming at you like some trailer trash Don Juan. Edit bc I just thought of it- not being trustworthy and not showing up for an agreed upon (safe) meet.
What time does everyone go to bed, and why?	My sleep schedule is so fuckin' tattered. Even more so with the pandemic.
How do you know if someone has a crush on you?	If they jerk you off
Who misses the first few months of quarantine, March, April, May and a little bit of June specifically?	I miss normal life, but it's over
You've magically been given the power to poo in other people's pants. Who's day are you going to ruin first?	Bitch McConnell's
What is you favorite thing to do in your free time?	Sleep.
What’s the craziest thing that has ever happened to you at a party or any other social event?	I went to a Christmas party with some friends at work and smoked some weed... ended up having a horrible hallucination where I was falling thru the universe and thought the trees were turning into scarecrows... they found me outside in the cold with no jacket on and the girl who was hosting the party wrapped me up in her warmest, thickest blanket and took me home. She stayed with me for awhile until I calmed down... she's never let me live it down cause I really scared the hell out of her but that moment helped me realize I had a mental disorder so I guess that's good
What are you most proud of?	Not having to set an alarm in the morning.
If you can buy an experience, what would it be and how much would uou pay for it ?	Personally, coping my first heart break after a long relationship. That shit broke me and I’d pay roughly 3-4k
Imagine 9/11 never happened. What do you think the world will be like right now ?	Air travel would still be bearable
What is more important in a male's facial physique as it relates to attractiveness - a strong, square jawline, or a strong, protruding chin?	I lean towards the jawline
What is something that someone has said to you that you can never forget?	No one will ever love you while you're fat!
If you were transported to 2001, what would you tell the people of the time to be wary of?	Avoid airplanes
Challenge : What's the best 8 bars (rap) you can come up with?	Thats an awfully hot coffee pot !
How did your relationship with your partner start?	We were best friends I told her we should get married She agreed 21 years ago
Those who have 'underrated' jobs, what is something that you cannot relate to from those who have 'regular' jobs?	Normal sleep patterns. I’m night manager at a bar that’s open till 6am. I get a lot of reading done though so that’s good :)
If you cut a mans dick off, skin it and throw it on the grill. Could it be passed off as a hot dog? Why?	I know i saw this earlier so I give the same answer as before: what the fuck.
What would happen if you left edibles out for Santa Clause?	He’d have a jolly good time
How was the rest of the game after you got picked last?	It was a good game of dodgeball. Funny thing, a small kid who can catch is a terribly difficult player to get out. People stopped picking me last after I showed what I could do.
The last person that you texted needs a favor. What is that favor likely to be?	To move a bunch of shit with my truck.
Men: What’s the best part to having a kid?	Being friends with them as adults.
How do you stop accidentally copying people’s accents?	I thought I was the only one with that problem.
What cartoon show has made you cry and at which moment was it?	Futurama “Jurassic Bark” At the end of the episode where it was discovered that his dog, Seymour, truly did wait every single day for Fry after Fry’s disappearance until he passed away.
What myths are perpetuated by mechanics to get car owners spend more money?	Every chain place and dealership tries to sell fluid flushes on every car that comes through the door. Don’t do them. Oil changes regularly. But everything else is not needed as frequently as they make it seem. Also I have no idea why a lot of places try to sell wheel bearing replacements in pairs. It’s not easier to do them at the same time. If only one is bad then only do the one. I run a family owned repair shop.
What’s your favourite video game ever?	Deus Ex. What an untouchable masterpiece of insane depth and craftsmanship.
What’s your biggest Deja Vu moment?	Almost every single Monday feels exactly the same to me with the same list of things to do the only real difference is the changing of the seasons. Otherwise I would feel like living in a time loop.
What everyday thing do people do wrong?	Brewing coffee
What are the next couple countries do you think will go to war and why?	What type of war?
Mark has just been rejected by a girl. What's the biggest fake-ass heroic story about Mark that you can come up with, to make the girl feel like she passed on a king?	Mark was secretly a king. Thank you all
Put the word "Battle" in front of your job title. What can you do in an RPG fight now?	I would be battle mechanic so I can build mad max like car built for battle
How have you successfully gotten over someone who you truly felt was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?	Time and Im still on that path
For those who work as a food delivery driver, what is the craziest thing that has happened to you?	Well there was a guy getting ready for a furry covention or a party idk i got the money and left
What is the bullshit excuse that always works?	“I think I’ve been exposed to COVID”
What is the saddest anime you've watched?	CLannad
What are the weirdest twin names you have heard?	Kaylee and Kayleigh.
How do you relax?	I watch jerk-off instruction videos by 18-year-old porn stars who have no idea what they're doing.
In your opinion, what is the most annoying/BS Google program/feature?	The Google Recaptcha BS. You make one lil mistake and have to do 4 puzzles all over again.
How would you describe color to a blind person?	I would describe them as warm or cold
You’re aboard a plane with 150 strangers when all of the sudden, there is excessive turbulence. The pilot announces to brace for impact as the plane free falls from cruising altitude. What do you do over the next 2-3 minutes before impact?	Wank
Who is the scariest fictional character, and why?	The ones that you can actually find in real life like Amy Dunne (from Gone Girl) and Annie Wilkes (from Misery)
Would you rather take a 10 minute -200 degree Cryotherapy session or stand next to an active volcano flowing lava for 35 minutes, why?	Coldness over hotness. I hate heat. I would literally take a plunge in the Antarctic waters over getting even 200 feet from a volcano.
If you could live in any dystopian universe, what would it be? Why?	One where we’re kept complacent by drugs. If I’ve got to live in a dystopia I may as well enjoy it
What was the best conversation you had with a stranger in a bathroom?	People... talk to strangers in bathrooms?
What is the worst thing to happen while on the toilet?	diarrhea and vomiting at the same time, very messy experience
How do you stay positive in a world with so much racism?	By looking at how much progress we’ve made. Human rights are a relatively new concept, and at least now we have an ideal to strive for
For anyone who has ever gotten stuck in an elevator, how long were you stuck and how did you react?	For about an hour Sat down, needed to pee
If you could travel back in time to a year ago before the pandemic and shutdowns but knowing what you know now, is there anything that you would you do differently? If so, what?	put all my money on zoom stock
Who is the most evil person you can think of?	Mitch McConnell
What's your best example of "your life will turn for the better you just gotta be patient and believe"?	After getting divorced at 39, I thought my life was going to be awful at worst and just middling at best. I sold my house, moved in with my parents and almost died from a pulmonary embolism, what a catch! I got down but always hoped and eventually met the love of my life. It gets dark, you fall down but always get up. Always get up. Good things will happen.
Who is your favorite Simpsons character?	Groundskeeper Willie "Grease me up, woman!"
What live action film or movie scene is the closest thing thing we’ve ever had to hentai with tentacles? (NSFW)	The thorny vine rape scene in Evil Dead.
What’s something you really resent paying for?	Parking, especially if it’s super overpriced
Imagine you get a job interview of your dream job but your inflicted with one of the two diseases of non stop ejaculation or a raging boner which one do you choose to take with you for the interview and how do you think your interviewer will react?	The boner of course, I became an expert on how to hide that fucker in high school.
Dam girl where’d u get all that?	Puerto Rican genes 😉
How do/did your parents discipline you?	Choking, beating, water boarding, spanking, grounding, taking phones, all technology, threatened friends and socially alienating me.
Gordon Ramsey is sitting in front of you. What do you cook him?	Cereal
If Rule 34 is "If it exists, there will be porn of it", then what's Rule 35?	No running next to the pool
If someone’s color blind would their fear of the dark be higher or lower and why?	Same, gray scale and color are complete different...
[NSFW] What memorable lines have you or someone else said during sex?	We’re out camping and getting drunk around a fire. Some friends sneak off into their tent and we start hearing their sex noises. Of course we become proper spectators and make comments. She’s moaning. He’s doing the normal grunts interspersed with oh yeah that feel good type stuff. Then out of nowhere man friend starts with “you gonna make us breakfast tomorrow” “YEASS” “You gonna make us tacos?” “UH HUH YESSS” “with cheese” “OH GOD YEESSS FUUUUCK”
What is the best quality you look for in a partner?	Honesty, smarts. She has to be smart.
Your Mom and your Girlfriend switch bodies. In order to return them to normal, you have to sleep with one of them. Which one do you sleep with?	Why am I limited to only fucking one of them?
If you can erase 1 object from existence what would it be?	Mosquitoes. Annoying little buggers.
For everyone who tried to impress your crush and backfired. What's your story?	I was on a school trip and it was at a place with a beach. The first time we are all let out to go swim and run in front of the other people going straight into the water so I know I am being seen by her. As I got pretty far in the water I attempt to do a clean dive in while a was able to still run pretty fast. Now I’ve been swimming since I was 6 months old so I felt pretty confident in myself, so I do a pretty hard dive, and when I do I go head first into a sandbar. My neck starts to swell and I sit on the beach for a while with a towel around my neck till I eventually go to a doctor and find out I Fractured my C-1 Vertebrae in 3 different places. I mean this was the “Atlas” bone, the very first Vertebrae in your spine and I nearly crushed the thing and would have been paralyzed. No surgery needed as all ligaments were still attached to bone, otherwise I would have had to combine all of my C-1 through C-3’s together. Instead I was in a neck brace for 3 months.
When you help out a homeless person with money or food. If they are rude/angry to you about the amount or receiving food instead of money, do you have the right morally to feel upset or annoyed about the situation?	No, its your money you did a nice thing that you didn't have to do. You didn't owe him anything. You could have used that money to feed yourself, your buddy could have happily eaten that sandwich. Both were very considerate gestures. I have a hard time understanding why they would have such an entitled attitude. It's a wonderful thing that you help out when you can but you don't have to. Thats the point you don't have to help them in any way. You did it out of the kindness of your own heart and those individuals felt entitled to what you have for nothing and it is wrong. I'm sorry you were treated that way. I'm not homeless but if someone got me a sandwich or handed me 10 bucks that'd make my damn day, and I'd be so greatful.
What currently living high profile person's death do you think the internet will be the most disrespectful about? Why?	I'm going to go with Charlie Sheen on this one... I think it'll get meme'd hard.
What’s a piece of information that feels illegal to know?	That counting cards is not illegal
Would you accept immortality even though you will live as everyone you know and ever will know dies and what can balance out the constant loss?	Yes, I would. I'd build memorials for each person that meant a lot to me
What "Hey! Did you know?..." fact are you sick of hearing about?	A pigs orgasm lasts 30 min
What are the chances of getting a women pregnant?	So to fill you all in, I’m with this girl and we’re having sex in a hotel. It was all going good until when it came to where I finish she kept saying finish in me, so my dumb horny self agrees. Now worried I hurry over to the store immediately and get her plan b to take, she does we go our separate ways until she Snapchat’s me that she’s sorry and that she’s ovulating. Now I’m sitting here freaked out because she was ovulating during the time we had sex which was on the 27th and I have no idea what’s going to happen. I’m also wondering if she’s lying just to have me stay with her, do you think she’ll get pregnant? Update: on Snapchat she either unfriended me or blocked me because when I click her name it shows her username at the top and it says add friend only to say “Sorry can’t find (username)”, it’s probably because I was mad when she told me she was ovulating and was irritated. Even so it’s weird that she would just unfriend/block me if she could be pregnant. I think she was lying to get me to stay with her.
What's the creepiest thing that has happened to you home alone?	I was probably 15 at the time and my brother was 10 so not technically home alone, but no parents. Anyway, we’re playing some video games in our living room, when our power goes out and only our smoke alarms in the garage start going off. So I jump up and tell my brother to wait there. I run to the garage and when I open the door leading to it, I see that the breaker box is open and so is the door leading out to the outside. The weird part is, I know the door was dead bolted and the lock on the knob was locked; also the smoke alarms in the garage were not hooked up at the time and none of the breaker switches were kicked. Still have no idea what it was.
[Serious] How abnormal is it for an adult to think someone is attractive, then question if they are underage, find out they are underage, then immediately go away?	Let's be honest ; some are 16 and look like they're 25. So if you're 25-35, it's okay. If you're 40 and older, well... it's another story. Age may not be relevant for everyone but there's a very thin line between what's acceptable and what is not.
there’s a lot of stupid people on earth, but there’s only one “the stupidest human on earth”. do you think you’ve met this person? why?	Yes. I see her everyday when I look into a mirror
What is some stupid shit that many people still believe in?	That COVID-19 isn’t real
What's the creepiest thing that has happened to you home alone?	Was in shower. Heard husband get home, doors opening and closing, footsteps. Phone in bathroom rings- it’s my husband asking if I need anything from the hardware store. He tells me to lock the bathroom door and he’s coming home straight away.
What's your favorite rap bars?	None.
Why do you feel a gunshot is more or less "scary" than turning around and seeing your gf standing behind you out of nowhere?	did my girlfriend just shoot me?
What's your cringey middle school relationship story?	Going on a Ferris wheel with my “GF” with another couple. The other couple made out the entire time, I was too scared and stared off, and couldn’t do it. Woof
What is something you never thought you be able to do, until you actually did it?	Cooking. Honestly I get better all the time and the trick is just not making the same mistakes twice. It is a process and involves a lot of learning.
You wake up tomorrow to the realization that music no longer exists. How does life change?	If you still know what music is then I'm gonna make the best music on earth for a bit.
When has a curse turned into blessing?	Your mom
Why do you like to go to sleep at the time you usually do?	Because I get off of work late and I have things to do. Also when I stay up late I wake up early
(serious) what would you think if the person you were dating said they'd totally date you when you were underaged, too?	As in, they would stay the same age, but I would be underaged? Or if we were both transported back in time to be underage? The first scenario, I would be very uncomfortable and remind them that would be immoral. The second scenario, sure, why not. That's fine.
When did you realize that the taste of water is its temperature?	Never, not true. Water tastes different for other reasons than temperature. How long it has been sitting out. If it's hard or soft. Tap water or bottled. Fluoridated or not. Whether it's tap from a rich area (they put lots of weird stuff in their water), poor area (the places where there is lead), or a place with great freshwater sources. Saltwater, obviously, tastes bad. Water from a hose tastes different than tap, though I have no idea why. Water has nuance, yall.
How would you explain your job to a four year old?	Ok so my job is to take 4 years old and take them to china for child labor ill show you
What made you feel cool in the last decade?	Lots of things.
[SERIOUS] How do you experience your thoughts? Sounds? Your voice or something different? Images? Colors or black and white? Or something else entirely?	My voice.
What is the dumbest thing you’ve seen a supposedly very intelligent person say/do?	I was friends with this super smart girl and it was really early, we heard someone mowing the lawn outside and she goes, “who’s vacuuming the grass”
If peanut butter wasn’t called peanut butter, what would it be called?	Nut cream.
What's the weirdest thing an opponent has said to you before you fought them?	"I'll punch you so hard you'll cum" Still dont know why he said this, still beat 50 shades of black and blue into him.
What's the best Wi-Fi name you've seen?	Tell my Wi-Fi love her
You're now able to go back to the release date for a game of your choice, what game do you pick?	Tetris. Not so I can play it, but so I can be around to invest my life savings in bitcoin before it takes off.
What song is stuck in your head right now?	Barbie Girl, because that damn song is never not stuck in my head
What are the advantages of being single?	More sexual variety.
What is the best lube for masturbation?	WD-40
What's a good example of medium talk? Not considered small talk, but nearly as trivial?	Conversations with coworkers you don't hang out with outside of work.
What is the best example of "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should"?	When our gfs let us fart. I'm not even trying to be funny. We start at a point where we will leap across the room to spare them, but ultimately wind up just squeezing those monsters out, as hard as we can. And, God bless their hearts, they tolerate it. Because they love us.
What is your favorite backhanded compliment?	I don’t care what people say about you, you’re a funny guy!

Quick, you have 10 seconds to grab an object that will become your weapon against the final boss, Ellen DeGeneres. What are you grabbing and are you winning?

A 10" black rubber c**k...its her kryptonite

What would you chose Have no nose, but have really good smelling fingers? Or be blind but have a really nice smile?

Wrong sub

What is something that is commonly done in public that people should stop doing?

Watching videos or listening to music on their phones without any sort of headphones! How do people do this and not realize they annoy the living hell out of everyone else? Also, being in public and talking on speakerphone. I do not want to hear what Martha did at work today Jennifer!

Females, what makes you ghost a guy you were talking to?

When seemingly all of a sudden their facade slips off, and some basement goblin takes over. Not actually listening to you and asking the same questions over and over again. Not reading your profile and coming at you like some trailer trash Don Juan. Edit bc I just thought of it- not being trustworthy and not showing up for an agreed upon (safe) meet.

What time does everyone go to bed, and why?

My sleep schedule is so fuckin' tattered. Even more so with the pandemic.

How do you know if someone has a crush on you?

If they jerk you off

Who misses the first few months of quarantine, March, April, May and a little bit of June specifically?

I miss normal life, but it's over

You've magically been given the power to poo in other people's pants. Who's day are you going to ruin first?

Bitch McConnell's

What is you favorite thing to do in your free time?

Sleep.

What’s the craziest thing that has ever happened to you at a party or any other social event?

I went to a Christmas party with some friends at work and smoked some weed... ended up having a horrible hallucination where I was falling thru the universe and thought the trees were turning into scarecrows... they found me outside in the cold with no jacket on and the girl who was hosting the party wrapped me up in her warmest, thickest blanket and took me home. She stayed with me for awhile until I calmed down... she's never let me live it down cause I really scared the hell out of her but that moment helped me realize I had a mental disorder so I guess that's good

What are you most proud of?

Not having to set an alarm in the morning.

If you can buy an experience, what would it be and how much would uou pay for it ?

Personally, coping my first heart break after a long relationship. That shit broke me and I’d pay roughly 3-4k

Imagine 9/11 never happened. What do you think the world will be like right now ?

Air travel would still be bearable

What is more important in a male's facial physique as it relates to attractiveness - a strong, square jawline, or a strong, protruding chin?

I lean towards the jawline

What is something that someone has said to you that you can never forget?

No one will ever love you while you're fat!

If you were transported to 2001, what would you tell the people of the time to be wary of?

Avoid airplanes

Challenge : What's the best 8 bars (rap) you can come up with?

Thats an awfully hot coffee pot !

How did your relationship with your partner start?

We were best friends I told her we should get married She agreed 21 years ago

Those who have 'underrated' jobs, what is something that you cannot relate to from those who have 'regular' jobs?

Normal sleep patterns. I’m night manager at a bar that’s open till 6am. I get a lot of reading done though so that’s good :)

If you cut a mans dick off, skin it and throw it on the grill. Could it be passed off as a hot dog? Why?

I know i saw this earlier so I give the same answer as before: what the fuck.

What would happen if you left edibles out for Santa Clause?

He’d have a jolly good time

How was the rest of the game after you got picked last?

It was a good game of dodgeball. Funny thing, a small kid who can catch is a terribly difficult player to get out. People stopped picking me last after I showed what I could do.

The last person that you texted needs a favor. What is that favor likely to be?

To move a bunch of shit with my truck.

Men: What’s the best part to having a kid?

Being friends with them as adults.

How do you stop accidentally copying people’s accents?

I thought I was the only one with that problem.

What cartoon show has made you cry and at which moment was it?

Futurama “Jurassic Bark” At the end of the episode where it was discovered that his dog, Seymour, truly did wait every single day for Fry after Fry’s disappearance until he passed away.

What myths are perpetuated by mechanics to get car owners spend more money?

Every chain place and dealership tries to sell fluid flushes on every car that comes through the door. Don’t do them. Oil changes regularly. But everything else is not needed as frequently as they make it seem. Also I have no idea why a lot of places try to sell wheel bearing replacements in pairs. It’s not easier to do them at the same time. If only one is bad then only do the one. I run a family owned repair shop.

What’s your favourite video game ever?

Deus Ex. What an untouchable masterpiece of insane depth and craftsmanship.

What’s your biggest Deja Vu moment?

Almost every single Monday feels exactly the same to me with the same list of things to do the only real difference is the changing of the seasons. Otherwise I would feel like living in a time loop.

What everyday thing do people do wrong?

Brewing coffee

What are the next couple countries do you think will go to war and why?

What type of war?

Mark has just been rejected by a girl. What's the biggest fake-ass heroic story about Mark that you can come up with, to make the girl feel like she passed on a king?

Mark was secretly a king. Thank you all

Put the word "Battle" in front of your job title. What can you do in an RPG fight now?

I would be battle mechanic so I can build mad max like car built for battle

How have you successfully gotten over someone who you truly felt was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

Time and Im still on that path

For those who work as a food delivery driver, what is the craziest thing that has happened to you?

Well there was a guy getting ready for a furry covention or a party idk i got the money and left

What is the bullshit excuse that always works?

“I think I’ve been exposed to COVID”

What is the saddest anime you've watched?

CLannad

What are the weirdest twin names you have heard?

Kaylee and Kayleigh.

How do you relax?

I watch jerk-off instruction videos by 18-year-old porn stars who have no idea what they're doing.

In your opinion, what is the most annoying/BS Google program/feature?

The Google Recaptcha BS. You make one lil mistake and have to do 4 puzzles all over again.

How would you describe color to a blind person?

I would describe them as warm or cold

You’re aboard a plane with 150 strangers when all of the sudden, there is excessive turbulence. The pilot announces to brace for impact as the plane free falls from cruising altitude. What do you do over the next 2-3 minutes before impact?

Wank

Who is the scariest fictional character, and why?

The ones that you can actually find in real life like Amy Dunne (from Gone Girl) and Annie Wilkes (from Misery)

Would you rather take a 10 minute -200 degree Cryotherapy session or stand next to an active volcano flowing lava for 35 minutes, why?

Coldness over hotness. I hate heat. I would literally take a plunge in the Antarctic waters over getting even 200 feet from a volcano.

If you could live in any dystopian universe, what would it be? Why?

One where we’re kept complacent by drugs. If I’ve got to live in a dystopia I may as well enjoy it

What was the best conversation you had with a stranger in a bathroom?

People... talk to strangers in bathrooms?

What is the worst thing to happen while on the toilet?

diarrhea and vomiting at the same time, very messy experience

How do you stay positive in a world with so much racism?

By looking at how much progress we’ve made. Human rights are a relatively new concept, and at least now we have an ideal to strive for

For anyone who has ever gotten stuck in an elevator, how long were you stuck and how did you react?

For about an hour Sat down, needed to pee

If you could travel back in time to a year ago before the pandemic and shutdowns but knowing what you know now, is there anything that you would you do differently? If so, what?

put all my money on zoom stock

Who is the most evil person you can think of?

Mitch McConnell

What's your best example of "your life will turn for the better you just gotta be patient and believe"?

After getting divorced at 39, I thought my life was going to be awful at worst and just middling at best. I sold my house, moved in with my parents and almost died from a pulmonary embolism, what a catch! I got down but always hoped and eventually met the love of my life. It gets dark, you fall down but always get up. Always get up. Good things will happen.

Who is your favorite Simpsons character?

Groundskeeper Willie *"Grease me up, woman!"*

What live action film or movie scene is the closest thing thing we’ve ever had to hentai with tentacles? (NSFW)

The thorny vine rape scene in *Evil Dead*.

What’s something you really resent paying for?

Parking, especially if it’s super overpriced

Imagine you get a job interview of your dream job but your inflicted with one of the two diseases of non stop ejaculation or a raging boner which one do you choose to take with you for the interview and how do you think your interviewer will react?

The boner of course, I became an expert on how to hide that fucker in high school.

Dam girl where’d u get all that?

Puerto Rican genes 😉

How do/did your parents discipline you?

Choking, beating, water boarding, spanking, grounding, taking phones, all technology, threatened friends and socially alienating me.

Gordon Ramsey is sitting in front of you. What do you cook him?

Cereal

If Rule 34 is "If it exists, there will be porn of it", then what's Rule 35?

No running next to the pool

If someone’s color blind would their fear of the dark be higher or lower and why?

Same, gray scale and color are complete different...

[NSFW] What memorable lines have you or someone else said during sex?

We’re out camping and getting drunk around a fire. Some friends sneak off into their tent and we start hearing their sex noises. Of course we become proper spectators and make comments. She’s moaning. He’s doing the normal grunts interspersed with oh yeah that feel good type stuff. Then out of nowhere man friend starts with “you gonna make us breakfast tomorrow” “YEASS” “You gonna make us tacos?” “UH HUH YESSS” “with cheese” “OH GOD YEESSS FUUUUCK”

What is the best quality you look for in a partner?

Honesty, smarts. She has to be smart.

Your Mom and your Girlfriend switch bodies. In order to return them to normal, you have to sleep with one of them. Which one do you sleep with?

Why am I limited to only fucking one of them?

If you can erase 1 object from existence what would it be?

Mosquitoes. Annoying little buggers.

For everyone who tried to impress your crush and backfired. What's your story?

I was on a school trip and it was at a place with a beach. The first time we are all let out to go swim and run in front of the other people going straight into the water so I know I am being seen by her. As I got pretty far in the water I attempt to do a clean dive in while a was able to still run pretty fast. Now I’ve been swimming since I was 6 months old so I felt pretty confident in myself, so I do a pretty hard dive, and when I do I go head first into a sandbar. My neck starts to swell and I sit on the beach for a while with a towel around my neck till I eventually go to a doctor and find out I Fractured my C-1 Vertebrae in 3 different places. I mean this was the “Atlas” bone, the very first Vertebrae in your spine and I nearly crushed the thing and would have been paralyzed. No surgery needed as all ligaments were still attached to bone, otherwise I would have had to combine all of my C-1 through C-3’s together. Instead I was in a neck brace for 3 months.

When you help out a homeless person with money or food. If they are rude/angry to you about the amount or receiving food instead of money, do you have the right morally to feel upset or annoyed about the situation?

No, its your money you did a nice thing that you didn't have to do. You didn't owe him anything. You could have used that money to feed yourself, your buddy could have happily eaten that sandwich. Both were very considerate gestures. I have a hard time understanding why they would have such an entitled attitude. It's a wonderful thing that you help out when you can but you don't have to. Thats the point you don't have to help them in any way. You did it out of the kindness of your own heart and those individuals felt entitled to what you have for nothing and it is wrong. I'm sorry you were treated that way. I'm not homeless but if someone got me a sandwich or handed me 10 bucks that'd make my damn day, and I'd be so greatful.

What currently living high profile person's death do you think the internet will be the most disrespectful about? Why?

I'm going to go with Charlie Sheen on this one... I think it'll get meme'd hard.

What’s a piece of information that feels illegal to know?

That counting cards is not illegal

Would you accept immortality even though you will live as everyone you know and ever will know dies and what can balance out the constant loss?

Yes, I would. I'd build memorials for each person that meant a lot to me

What "Hey! Did you know?..." fact are you sick of hearing about?

A pigs orgasm lasts 30 min

What are the chances of getting a women pregnant?

So to fill you all in, I’m with this girl and we’re having sex in a hotel. It was all going good until when it came to where I finish she kept saying finish in me, so my dumb horny self agrees. Now worried I hurry over to the store immediately and get her plan b to take, she does we go our separate ways until she Snapchat’s me that she’s sorry and that she’s ovulating. Now I’m sitting here freaked out because she was ovulating during the time we had sex which was on the 27th and I have no idea what’s going to happen. I’m also wondering if she’s lying just to have me stay with her, do you think she’ll get pregnant? Update: on Snapchat she either unfriended me or blocked me because when I click her name it shows her username at the top and it says add friend only to say “Sorry can’t find (username)”, it’s probably because I was mad when she told me she was ovulating and was irritated. Even so it’s weird that she would just unfriend/block me if she could be pregnant. I think she was lying to get me to stay with her.

What's the creepiest thing that has happened to you home alone?

I was probably 15 at the time and my brother was 10 so not technically home alone, but no parents. Anyway, we’re playing some video games in our living room, when our power goes out and only our smoke alarms in the garage start going off. So I jump up and tell my brother to wait there. I run to the garage and when I open the door leading to it, I see that the breaker box is open and so is the door leading out to the outside. The weird part is, I know the door was dead bolted and the lock on the knob was locked; also the smoke alarms in the garage were not hooked up at the time and none of the breaker switches were kicked. Still have no idea what it was.

[Serious] How abnormal is it for an adult to think someone is attractive, then question if they are underage, find out they are underage, then immediately go away?

Let's be honest ; some are 16 and look like they're 25. So if you're 25-35, it's okay. If you're 40 and older, well... it's another story. Age may not be relevant for everyone but there's a very thin line between what's acceptable and what is not.

there’s a lot of stupid people on earth, but there’s only one “the stupidest human on earth”. do you think you’ve met this person? why?

Yes. I see her everyday when I look into a mirror

What is some stupid shit that many people still believe in?

That COVID-19 isn’t real

What's the creepiest thing that has happened to you home alone?

Was in shower. Heard husband get home, doors opening and closing, footsteps. Phone in bathroom rings- it’s my husband asking if I need anything from the hardware store. He tells me to lock the bathroom door and he’s coming home straight away.

What's your favorite rap bars?

None.

Why do you feel a gunshot is more or less "scary" than turning around and seeing your gf standing behind you out of nowhere?

did my girlfriend just shoot me?

What's your cringey middle school relationship story?

Going on a Ferris wheel with my “GF” with another couple. The other couple made out the entire time, I was too scared and stared off, and couldn’t do it. Woof

What is something you never thought you be able to do, until you actually did it?

Cooking. Honestly I get better all the time and the trick is just not making the same mistakes twice. It is a process and involves a lot of learning.

You wake up tomorrow to the realization that music no longer exists. How does life change?

If you still know what music is then I'm gonna make the best music on earth for a bit.

When has a curse turned into blessing?

Your mom

Why do you like to go to sleep at the time you usually do?

Because I get off of work late and I have things to do. Also when I stay up late I wake up early

(serious) what would you think if the person you were dating said they'd totally date you when you were underaged, too?

As in, they would stay the same age, but I would be underaged? Or if we were both transported back in time to be underage? The first scenario, I would be very uncomfortable and remind them that would be immoral. The second scenario, sure, why not. That's fine.

When did you realize that the taste of water is its temperature?

Never, not true. Water tastes different for other reasons than temperature. How long it has been sitting out. If it's hard or soft. Tap water or bottled. Fluoridated or not. Whether it's tap from a rich area (they put lots of weird stuff in their water), poor area (the places where there is lead), or a place with great freshwater sources. Saltwater, obviously, tastes bad. Water from a hose tastes different than tap, though I have no idea why. Water has nuance, yall.

How would you explain your job to a four year old?

Ok so my job is to take 4 years old and take them to china for child labor ill show you

What made you feel cool in the last decade?

Lots of things.

[SERIOUS] How do you experience your thoughts? Sounds? Your voice or something different? Images? Colors or black and white? Or something else entirely?

My voice.

What is the dumbest thing you’ve seen a supposedly very intelligent person say/do?

I was friends with this super smart girl and it was really early, we heard someone mowing the lawn outside and she goes, “who’s vacuuming the grass”

If peanut butter wasn’t called peanut butter, what would it be called?

Nut cream.

What's the weirdest thing an opponent has said to you before you fought them?

"I'll punch you so hard you'll cum" Still dont know why he said this, still beat 50 shades of black and blue into him.

What's the best Wi-Fi name you've seen?

Tell my Wi-Fi love her

You're now able to go back to the release date for a game of your choice, what game do you pick?

Tetris. Not so I can play it, but so I can be around to invest my life savings in bitcoin before it takes off.

What song is stuck in your head right now?

Barbie Girl, because that damn song is never not stuck in my head

What are the advantages of being single?

More sexual variety.

What is the best lube for masturbation?

WD-40

What's a good example of medium talk? Not considered small talk, but nearly as trivial?

Conversations with coworkers you don't hang out with outside of work.

What is the best example of "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should"?

When our gfs let us fart. I'm not even trying to be funny. We start at a point where we will leap across the room to spare them, but ultimately wind up just squeezing those monsters out, as hard as we can. And, God bless their hearts, they tolerate it. Because they love us.

What is your favorite backhanded compliment?

I don’t care what people say about you, you’re a funny guy!