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What video game did you learn a valuable lesson from?
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League of Legends. I learned that I’ll never play that game again bc people take it wayyy tooo seriously and they are mean to new gamers
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What’s the worst way you failed a test?
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I slept through it and showed up midway through the next and last test slot lololol—it got dropped anyways so no harm done.
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What is your best/most meaningful/funniest moment with a family member/friend who has since passed?
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One time when I was younger, my grandpa took me to go see my great grandma, his mother, and she was preparing some burritos for us to take back to house. When packing them up she held a plastic bag up as if to slide them in and when she went to pick the bag up none of them actually went in but under the bag. I watched her do this the whole time without telling her and I couldn’t stop laughing. She was so shocked and her little gasp was the funniest thing ever. I miss her so much, she was the best human I’ve ever met.
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What is the story of your most recent injury?
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Tore my right meniscus while digging up and replacing an old concrete walkway in my front yard. F'n hurts and there's nothing short of surgery that they can really do about it.
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If you were a Hedge Fund manager, what would you do?
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Take a jump from the tallest building for the betterment of humanity
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If you would be a food based on the quantity that you eat, what would you be (goodbye grammar)?
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I’d be ice cream. I am ice cream!
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What would you be willing to do for the love of mom?
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Live.
Although I am suicidal, I won't kill myself as long as my mom lives. Out of love for her.
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[serious] Why can’t we Google hashtags?
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You can’t? I can
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What characteristic is a dealbreaker for you?
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A girl with a dick
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What would be the worst thing for your neighbor to accidentally shove in your fucking asshole?
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His dick
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What piece of history did you witness (first hand) being physically present?
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The 2019 Coronavirus Pandemic.
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People that almost got married but canceled because you couldn't deal with their family, what happened?
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I couldn't deal with her family.
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Why not invest in nuclear as well as solar as a future energy source? Why do we condemn nuclear - is it negative association with spills and warheads that turns people off?
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My problem with nuclear is primarily waste related. There's just no feasible way to get rid of it at our current technology level.
And if we just bury it, how do we communicate to those that come after that that big hill / giant pit holds that kind of waste? In 12,000 years when it's still radioactive and whoever comes after can't read our warnings, how do we save them from our waste?
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People that shower with cold water, why?
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Cos it’s refreshing especially if it’s hot
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What's a story you are NOT gonna tell your grandkids?
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The one with anal and bowling. Or how I survived Y2K. I don't know it's a real toss up.
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what fictional character would you smash hard?
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All of them
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What thing do you think deserves a true 10/10 for it's absolute perfection?
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Communism.
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What is the most horrifying thing you have ever seen?
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9/11 on tv
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What is your dream job and are you doing it?
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Being some kind of storyteller.
And yes, I am doing it. It's not perfect, I make about as much as a mediocre part time job while putting a full time amount of work into my writing. But it's getting better, and it's a lot more fun than anything else I've done.
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What would it take to get you to masturbate in public?
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a klondike bar
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Where do you draw the line between being able to agree to disagree with someone on something and being incompatible with them because of what you disagree on?
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If the opinion in question can exist without cruelty. If someone's personal opinion is that we shouldn't let gay people marry, for example, then that's incompatible with being my friend, because your opinion makes you a real piece of shit. You're going out of your way to make other people's lives worse. That ain't cool.
But if it's something about pizza toppings, or interpretations of an author's work, or favorite board game? Those things aren't *mean*. You can be an asshole *about* those things (pineapple on pizza is fine, you don't need to be a dick to people over it), but believing those things doesn't *make* you an asshole.
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What’s a good pick up line when you seriously think you’d like to date a stranger?
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"Hey, you seem interesting, and I'd like to get to know you better. Want to get coffee sometime and see if we get along?"
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What’s a weird childhood ritual that you still do today?
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Whenever I go to a buffet my first plate of food is always fried chicken, mac and cheese, and mashed potatoes and gravy. I was an extremely picky eater as a kid and idk why I never grew out of it. I haven’t been to a buffet since before covid but still.
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What movie scene really fucked with your head?
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American History X. The curb stomp scene. Saw it once and that was enough.
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Who is the bad egg of your extended family?
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That’s funny we don’t have one of those. Wait…
Oh…..
Oh no.
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Looking back, what's a desire/dream you had that you're glad didn't come true?
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Marrying my narcissistic ex-boyfriend.
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what do you think about guys who wear thongs to swim?
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If you've got that much confidence, more power to you.
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What was the oddest thing your partner has said while sleep talking?
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“mm mm (like no no) don’t you usually get air??”
“haha here you go aliens”
My favourite part about all this is that he doesn’t mumble it, he always yells it and says it very clearly. But he’s 100% asleep.
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What is your favorite character trope from literature, TV, or video games?
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Evil guy turning good
Big strong man but actually a sweetheart who wouldn’t hurt a fly
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What is your best go-to conversation topic/question?
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“So I’m banging this chick..”
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What is the luckiest thing that ever happened to you?
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During covid I got a raise, many bonuses, I've earned free college for being a Frontline worker, and I applied to a contest for Frontline workers to win a free $10,000 smile makeover and won. Never got sick.
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If Hot Pockets came out with a 2020 commemorative ‘mystery filling’ what would be the most fitting ingredient?
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Artificial diarrhea
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Those who work healthcare and believe in God. How do you still believe after what you’ve seen?
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Working long term care is what made me lose faith entirely. Alzheimer’s is a cruelty that no god worth worshiping would allow to exist.
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How can missiles target Godzilla?
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You're right they'd have an easier time hitting your mom than Godzilla.
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Gamers, why do you play on your current platform?
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Consoles are weak PC strong.
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What is the best prank you've ever pulled?
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Once I gift wrapped my roommates entire room with Christmas wrapping. The desk, chair, bed, TV, his shoes, everything in his room.
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What is your favorite brand?
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Bangbros
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Whats a film that had an impact on your life after seeing it?
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Willy Wonka
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What makes you happy that it doesn't have a mind of its own?
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Definitely not my penis.
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If you adress your parents by their real name, why and what's it like?
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when I was about 6 I finally learned my dad’s first name and I was so happy and excited. I waited for him to come home from work and when he came through the door I said “Hi John!”
I was grounded for two weeks.
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What was the stupidest reason you were sent to the hospital?
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They took an ice skate out of my leg
Hehe
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What is your best relationship advice?
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Pick one: Either you want to be right OR You want to be happy…Choose wisely, because the latter choice is the key to a good wholesome relationship. Good luck
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You're out to get your colonoscopy done when the doctor starts playing 'Just the two of us' by Grover Washington. What do you do?
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Pitch a tent
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Have you ever just decided it’s better to start fresh in a new city/country and what was the outcome?
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Yes. 6 times in the last 25 years. It’s fantastic. You leave all the shitty parts of yourself behind and just take the good stuff. It seems daunting but once you take that first step out the door all your problems stop being theoretical and become practical. The first three months are the hardest. You have to find work and set yourself up. After that it’s great. The further away you move the more interesting you become to the locals in your new city or country. If you are willing to work you will always find a job. It may not be the job you want but it’s a starting point. You make new friends and have new experiences. 10/10 I would move away now and start again if I could.
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What do you do when a vending machine takes your money without giving you the goods?
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Take the machine. Your property now.
|
what are some badass angry songs, from any genre?
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Break stuff - limp bizkit
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What’s your most interesting shower thought?
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r/showerthoughts
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What would actually happen if there was a catastrophic accident Tuesday and Jeff Bezos died during launch or flight?
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Conspiracy theories galore
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People who sleep like babies, how?
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They don’t have babies
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What household item could be an unconventional weapon?
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An electric clothes iron on maximum should be weapony.
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Who do you think would be the last person to realize that aliens have made contact with Earth?
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Uncontacted tribes in the Amazon
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What common myth would you like to confess that you believed for a long time?
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Satan rules hell
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Who is the most charismatic human in the world?
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Every answer that is not "Jeff Goldblum" is very badly mistaken.
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What are the differences between jr sr and adult baseball bats?
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One of them is useless, one of them gets discounts at Golden Corral, and one of them has college debt.
And all of them hit baseballs.
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What under 200$ purchase made the most difference in your life?
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The adoption fee on my beagle - Scout. One of the best decisions i've ever made.
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What was the first vehicle you drove ?
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Nice try getting the answer to my retrieve password question
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What is your worst (in your opinion) bad habit, like you don't like the fact that this is something that you often do?
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lack of sleep
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Does your mother in law like you? Why?
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Not married, but I don’t think my boyfriend’s mother likes me. We have different ideals and opposite personalities.
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What is an overrated movie/TV show?
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Harry Potter — oooooh my gaaaaawwwwd. Listen. I used to like Harry Potter. I was totally a “Harry Potter kid” at heart. But then I matured out of it. I am constantly surrounded by ADULTS who are still mega-obsessed. Like. Chill. You can like something without it being a part of your personality.
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What is something you should ALWAYS ask yourself?
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Will this matter in 5 years?
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[Serious] What do you need praying for today?
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Probably better health for my Mother
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What was your worst date experience?
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Took something out my pocket, condoms fell out…
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What is the stupidest lie you've ever told someone?
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Yeah, I pulled out in time
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If dogs became the new humans of the earth, what would they create? What sports or art would they make? Could they run Earth better than us?
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Tinder but they sniff butts.
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What's the oddest personality quirk your animal has?
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My dog has kids in his basement
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[Serious] What was the hardest thing for you to overcome in your life?
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The trauma my mom gave me. I'm still getting over it but thanks to a really supportive father, stepmom, sibling, and friends, I'm doing a lot better then I was.
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What’s one thing your looking forward to doing when covid 19 restrictions are over?
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Unprotected sex
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What is the worst question you can ask in a interview?
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How soon can I take vacation?
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People who have had a near death experience, what did you see/feel and did it change you?
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I was abused as a child. One time while being choked, I basically passed out. Next thing I knew I was in a completely dark room (first person view). In the room was a bird bath full of water being illuminated by a light overhead. There was what I assumed was water droplets falling into the bird bath. When the water droplets hit the water in the bird bath, a yellow glowing ring echoed from it like rippling water. That just kept happening. Very trippy. I was then violently shaken back to consciousness.
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Which tv characters weren’t meant to be main or recurring but ended up joining the cast because of positive audience feedback/reaction?
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Jesse pinkman
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What are your thoughts on IMDb movie rating scores? Why are they relevant or irrelevant?
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Irrelevant for the most part, people give bad reviews for dumb reasons.
"Schindler's List is black and white, I watched 2 mins and turned it off, 1/10".
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Kind of a throwback. Anyone who went to or was involved in the fyre festival, how was your experience? Did you have any idea how, atleast in the beginning on how it was going to turn out?
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Saw the documentary on Netflix and read some articles. There weren't much on the people that actually went. There wasn't many employees interviewed or many other people or vendors involved with it in the documentary
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You get to pick a superpower to have but the person who replies to your comment gets to pick the side effect of your power what is your power?
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X ray vision to diagnose kids at a children’s hospital
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Conspiracy plus alert: what if China released COVID-19 as a test case to see how the rest of the world would react, knowing they had an even deadlier disease ready to release later to finish off nations they perceive to be a threat?
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This Cold War is economical. China has nothing to gain from eliminating their consumers.
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People who have been in therapy for mental illness, how would you say it helped to improve your life?
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It’s a great help to even vocalize problems. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, and there’s truth to it. Releasing them from out of your brain can put things into context. It’s not a cure. Therapy in general isn’t a cute. But it’s a way of realizing what you’re upset about, what’s angering you etc.
And once you have a shape on it, you can begin to overcome it.
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Have you ever had a shower thought that blew your mind so much you HAD TO jump out and write it down / tell someone?
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there's not a word in the English language for acknowledging someone that coughs or hiccups. it's only for sneezing
|
What myth did you believe for a embarrassingly long time?
|
Adults knew what they're doing, genuinely believed that until I was 10
|
What is a skill that you think should be taught in schools but isn’t?
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Critical thinking.
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Which video game has the most use in real life?
|
I'll say Football Manager due to the stories I've heard of people getting real life management jobs because of it.
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What's your favorite pre- packaged seasoning and what's your favorite food to use it on?
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Cavender's Greek seasoning on grilled veggies
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What is the best sauce?
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Horseradish sauce on a good turkey sandwich
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What generation do you hate the most and why do you hate them so much?
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My own. I’m a part of Gen-Z technically, as I was born in ‘02. I grew up liking similar stuff to my older millennial brother, I had the same childhood really as a 90s baby. The younger ones of my generation are doing Fortnite dances, becoming over sensitised, cancelling everything they can and becoming Tik Tok obsessed and I can’t stand any of them. I associate myself with late millennials but I’m too young to be one and quite frankly way too old to be a typical ‘gen-Z baby’.
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(Serious) how does one overcome the fear of losing a loved (in a disease state) ?
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You don't. It's gonna happen, and it's going to be brutal. There's nothing you can do but steel yourself for some suffering.
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What is a word for "Party" that ends in -or?
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Quintuple bukkaki with liquor.
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People who work/worked in customer service, what is the story about a customer that you will never forget?
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The lady who called me at the bank on boxing day crying because she had no money after buying her kids Christmas gifts. I took a look at her account and she'd not spent much at all, she just had so little money. She was crying saying she didn't know what she was going to do.
Officially we can't do anything unless anyone asks. I kind of ignored that and went back and refunded an old bank charge for each year she'd had her account open (the max I can do) so by the time she'd calmed down there was a chunk of money in her account that she could use.
I just rmemeber her because she wasn't asking for anything, she was just checking how bad things were.
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How has joining the military changed your life?
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On one hand: an education, saw the world
On the other: living with physical and mental disabilities, lost the last shred of faith in the competency of others, far less sociable than I used to be...
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Those who are LGBTQIA+, when and how did you discover that about yourselves?
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That letter count is really climbing.
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What single handedly improved your quality of life?
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Giving the last of my fucks.
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What's one song that changed your life?
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Mambo #5 by Lou Bega.
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What is a telltale sign that someone is a bad driver?
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Dents and scratches on their car
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What is something you’re passionate in that might also be controversial/come along with misconceptions?
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I’ll go first: Evolution. I was an evolutionary biology major and people come up to me and tell me that evolution is not real.
Evolution doesn’t have to refer to major change like speciation (the evolution of a new species) but could mean something as simple as the change in colouration of moth wings down the generations to enable moths to camouflage better along with the changing environment
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People who answer amazon product questions with "I don't know", how do you get yourself dressed every morning?
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I don’t know.
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If you could have any person or fictional character be your mentor, who would it be?
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Someone with Uncle Iroh levels of wisdom.
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What is your biggest fear sexually?
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Not being able to satisfy my partner
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What is your first conscience memory ?
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My dad died when I was 5. For many MANY years I couldn't remember anything from before that time. With the help of a therapist, I was able to find new memories which I attribute to that time.
My dad coming into the bathroom to get me and my brothers out of the tub and ready for bed.
Walking to Kindergarden (being IN Kindergarden)
And lastly, peeing into the toilet, when my dad comes in and says "Move over.." and takes out his to do what I'm doing. I turn and look up and all I can remember thinking was "Oh my goodness that's HUGE!!"
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What technology (whether current or in development) do you think future society would be better off without? Why?
|
Smartphones were a mistake. You know why.
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What was the first album you ever owned?
|
The Alan Parsons Project: *Eye In The Sky*
Favorite song on it: *Silence And I*
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What’s a good combo that sounds weird, but in reality is really good?
|
Cream cheese and grape jam/jelly. Try that instead of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
|
What’s a movie that was so bad, you stopped watching before it ended?
|
Cats.
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Do people still eat Burger King? For those who do, why?
|
Burger King tastes insane. I prefer it to McDonalds and KFC. The burgers actually taste like proper meat and they have all the right juiciness and they’re filling and the chips are to die for
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