id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 1
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.51k
| summary
stringlengths 0
1.79k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_2fi8kc | relationships | I [26/F] am terrible at breakups. I cannot move on. I have no self respect. Please help? | I am terrible at breakups.
I usually get broken up with, for one reason or another. And I can not. Move. On. Even months after the fact I am still not over them, still think about them daily... and it doesn't matter if we went out 1 month or 6 months. I still carry on the relationship in my head or imagine us getting back together.
It's not until/unless they entirely cut me off/tell me off that I'm over them. I guess I'm "needy" or uncomfortable with endings. I feel like while I don't need someone to complete me, I feel deficient when I don't have someone, either in real life or in my mind- like I'm walking on a tight rope.
Can anyone help me out here, either by helping figure out what's wrong or tell me how to get over this? | I usually get broken up with. Can't take it. Sometimes beg. Always cling to the hope that we'll get back together. How to stop this? |
t3_2vyxi0 | tifu | TIFU by trying to talk to my crush | Okay so I usually take the train at 6:30 in the morning to go to school. I really liked this girl and she was from another school(Hella cute). I went to another school because I didn't study(I'm 15 now). Anyway, I usually wake up at 6:00 a.m to take the train at 6:30 am. But she told me that she usually takes the train at 6:00am. So for me I have to wake up at 5 in the morning now. Fast forward today, I woke up at five managed to take the train at 6:00am(btw, she's one station ahead of mine) and I was testing my luck to see if she would be in the same train I was in. Surprisingly, she entered the train at the next station. I was excited and stuff. I walked up to her. She smiled and was surprised at how I am in the same train as her.
So here goes the conversation:
Her:"HI! How did you come in the same train?"
(I had to lie, so I thought up of something quickly)
Me:"I usually take the other end of the train."
Her:"Oh okay.."
3 minutes of awkward silence ensues.
I wanted to strike up a conversation. This is where IFU.
Me:"So how's your day".
Ladies and Gentleman, her day just started one hour ago.
Her:"Okay I guess".
Another 5 minutes of awkward silence ensues.
My destination came, I went out of the train and I decided not to talk to her ever again. | I asked my crush how her day was at 5 am in the morning |
t3_q3hjn | AskReddit | Are there any bottle collectors here who know what these are worth? | I have a somewhat large bottle collection ranging from worthless bottles to potentially valuable ones. I have done research on both of these, but nothing substantial has shown up.
For [this] bottle, I saw on ebay that some that look exactly like this one have sold for around 65-70 USD, but others have not sold for as low as $30.
For [this] one, I have nothing. I couldn't find anything on this specific bottle. I couldn't even find a date. But it interested me mainly because there was still liquid in it, and it looked really old... And it has a 15% alcohol content :P | I'm interested in the value of these two bottles I have collected. |
t3_ewgrf | AskReddit | I think I need help... Who can I turn to? My family wouldn't understand... Obsessed? | One of the other recent threads had me thinking and now I really need to get this off my chest.
I was so into her, I literally would have taken a bullet for her. We did everything together, I took her every where. Bought her anything she wanted. She wouldn't even have to say she wanted it... We were so close I could just tell. She wasn't greedy or needy, don't get me wrong. She never asked for anything. I was on a leash, I would jump at the drop of a dime. I was right there to wipe her tears and shit got tough. I was there when she needed rides. I was there when she was stranded in the middle of no where. We had the same friends... We loved the same types of music, movies, tv shows.
She broke my heart multiple times yet I didn't care. I had times where it really did feel like I had sharp pain in my chest. I was still there. We had some fights. But eventually one of us would cave and say sorry. After that I would be right back in her pocket, loving every minute of it. She never did make it "official", or put a "label" on us.
Then it happened, we had the biggest fight ever. Words were said, friends were lost, and I'm sure things were burned.
It's been two years since we have talked. I have trouble not thinking about her at least once a day. I got back through every moment with her... What could I have done better, what had I missed the first time around? I figured eventually she would come around and say sorry for the shit she pulled. She never has.
I think I'm obsessed at this point. I try to hate her. I made a fake facebook and added her so I can... Keep tabs I guess. But every time I see her profile it makes me angry. I think it makes me angry because I miss what was.
She felt like she was ... "The one". (Guys, you know what I mean)
Reddit... I miss my never official love, who felt like the one. | Girl meets boy, boy loves girl, girl semi loves boy, girl hurts boy. boy and girl no talk long time. Boy stalk girl on facebook. |
t3_rs0k3 | AskReddit | Just found out I am being laid off today. | Not for anything personal, but the company has a mandate that says they can not keep temps passed 9 months. I found this out today when I heard a friend of mine got a job where I work on facebook. After sending an email giving a glowing recommendation for my friend, I received an email back stating that I would be let go at the end of the month. Not for any professional reasons, not because I was late, but because they clean house of temps after 9 months. My last day is at the end of the month. I live in California, is there anything I should do between now and then. I feel fine about working my butt off till then, and I don't really hold a grudge against the company as a whole. But I am just looking for advice on what my next move should be. | Found out a friend got a got a job, one he didn't rob. Lost it for not being a slob. Looking for a way not to sob. |
t3_3el8dp | relationship_advice | (21 M) need to get over a great/boring relationship | I, just can't handle myself. Two months ago i broke up with my almost 4 year relationship girlfriend, the last months before that we argued a lot but we knew we loved each other. One day she got upset because i told her i don't make plans for the future i like to life the moment - we're really young but she had plans to marry after both finished school-, but the main reason i didn't like to do any future plans with her was because: A) I did not see her as my future wife B) 2 years ago she broke my heart really really bad, she didn't cheat on me, but broke up to hang with another guy, did my best to got her back.
Anyway, i broke up with her, but i thought that the brake up was mutual, but she told me she wanted to fix things up (again). We kept in touch a little bit after that, she wanted me to think all again and be lovers once again, but in my mind, it was never a choice, it's not like i wanted to be with another girl right away, just not with her. But the past friday i saw her with another guy who's one year younger than us (we live in a rather small city so it's not that hard to find someone in the streets or restaurants/bars) and it really crushed me, made me really sad. Since then i've having thoughts about coming back with her, but i know it's just my ego being mean to me, and the thing that the guy is a year younger makes it worse. I asked her via FB if he was her boyfriend, replied yes and since then no more talking to her. I just need something to not fall again. | Not worried about kind ex, saw her with another guy, my ego wants her back |
t3_gazj6 | AskReddit | How do I deal with an ex who won't leave me alone? | About six years ago I had a pretty nasty break up with my ex after I found out she was cheating on me. Since then, I've done my best to cut off all ties with her but a few times a year I'll get text messages or emails from her. Usually to the effect of how I'm doing or how the cat's doing. I try to ignore them, but she then becomes relentless until I'll respond with a token response ("fine", etc.).
Since our breakup, my life has gone from awful to **amazing**. I'm recently and very happily married, have a job I enjoy and a great circle of friends. In this same period of time, it's become known to me that her life has not fared so well.
I just don't have any room in my life for her (nor would I want to make it). I don't feel like I owe her anything, but this does make me feel guilty. Mostly to my wife (who knows of these messages), she doesn't need to worry about this person trying to wedge her way back into my life.
I've tried everything I can think of. I've told her in no uncertain terms that this behavior is unacceptable and she will be ignored. What else can I do? | How do I cut ties once and for all with a crazy ex that can't let me go? |
t3_1gegye | relationship_advice | I (23/f) broke things off with (24/m) and I really need some support. | I've been dating a guy long distance for 2 years. He moved away to be with his family early on in the relationship but we were crazy about each other and made it work. At the end of the summer, our plan was for me to come stay with him. Indefinitely. Unfortunately, I found out he has been smoking weed. Something I'm not okay with. On top of that, while he was smoking weed, he attempted to hookup with someone but stopped himself. A mutual friend had told me and he lied about it for a whole day before coming out with the truth. This was about 2 weeks ago. I was and am completely heartbroken. He promised to change. I decided to give him another chance, as long as he's done smoking. But I've recently changed my mind. I can't deal with it. I can't come there because I no longer trust him. But love him. I feel like I'm making the wrong decision. My gut is saying go be with him. But my head just keeps telling me to keep pushing this break up. I need some support. I know people make mistakes. I can get past the weed. It's just the hooking up and then lying to me. I'm very forgiving. But I can't move for someone who can't respect me completely. I know he's going to move on. It makes me feel so sick. Help. Please. | Broke things off for a reason but still feel regret and sadness |
t3_3dgwea | relationships | I'm independent by most standards, but I [27 f] feel really neglected by boyfriend [28 m] of almost three years. | I feel lucky in that I have a pretty full and happy life. I just started a great job, plenty of wonderful friends and I'm very close with my family. Yet I still feel... lonely. I know this is a part of adulthood and well, being human, but I also think it stems from my relationship with my boyfriend.
I went out of town without him a few times this summer and I noticed each time, I barely heard from him. He's definitely an "in person" guy, but it opened my eyes to an overall lack of closeness between us. He never just checks in to see how my day is when we're not spending the night together... and when I check in with him I get one word answers. I don't think he's said I love you or anything remotely affectionate in the last 6 months. I miss the intimacy and I find myself being almost embarrassed by how sad I am. I feel like he only contacts me when he needs to know something or we're planning out logistics.
We have sex still, so the attraction isn't gone, but even that is missing something. I just feel like he does the bare minimum and finishes. Up until a few months ago it wasn't like that. We've always had great chemistry. I just feel like he stopped caring, at all.
I feel like I'm in this relationship by myself. He pretty much does what he wants and I cater to it or don't see him. I can't imagine dating someone who woke up and said "what should we do today?!" Even my dad has noticed that he doesn't seem to invite me out to eat or anything similar unless it's something that's covered expense wise (we both make good salaries). Am I expecting too much or are there actual guys out there who still plan date nights and what not after 3 years?
Maybe I've just been watching too many movies but something is missing. | my boyfriend is emotionally MIA, not sure if this relationship is right anymore |
t3_1hw1tu | relationships | Au pair [21F] hooking up with single father [39M] | Background: His wife went crazy and left him a while ago, he has not dated anybody since and has three kids. He lives with his cousin and she is helping with the kids as much as possible. I always dreamt about living in the US (I am from Europe) and working with children thus I became an au pair.
I have been here for a while now and we have connected super well from the beginning on. We sit on the couch and talk for hours after the kids go to bed and we always have a lot of fun when we do something together with the kids, he is a real super dad, sadly also super busy with work.
A few months ago I was totally stressed out after a long day of work and he offered a massage. I returned the favor, started groping him and ended up giving him a handjob. This marked the turning point in our relationship. (Which makes me kinda suspicous)
Aside from just sex he really needed someone to talk and seemed to open up more and more. We started considering this a serious relationship after a while.
I really like him and his family but staying here is a life changing decision and I am already starting to question it. Maybe I am just an adventure for him? Would any divorced ~40 yo man consider a long term relationship or even marriage with a woman half his age for more than just sex? | Not only am I dating my boss I also share a house with him and he is 20 years older than me and I consider staying on a different continent for him, |
t3_43jx4r | tifu | TIFU by returning high-fives on an escalator. | I am attending my first convention (PAX South) this year. I have been excited for a long time for this chance to meet other people with my interests, and have generally been in a very cheerful and enthusiastic mood. Of course, when I was riding an escalator up a floor and someone riding down adjacent to me screamed out for a high five, I complied enthusiastically. A group of people a little bit behind him stuck out their hands as well and shouted out, "high five, man!" Having just high fived the person in front of them, I stuck out my hand to these people as well while shouting "YEAH, HIGH FIVE, MAN!".
Crickets chirped, wind blew, and my hand was as empty as a lonely 50 year old man who just wanked. They passed me on the escalator and said "sorry, that high five was for our friend." I looked directly behind me. The friend was standing there with his arm still raised. I looked around. Everyone else on both sides of the escalator were stifling laughter. I glided up the rest of the way to the second floor in silent shame.
This happened a day ago and I've seen them a couple more times after that. Every time our eyes meet, they raise their hands and high five between themselves. FML. | high fived a guy on an escalator. Thought the next guy wanted one too, embarrassed myself. |
t3_2dltti | relationships | Should I [19M] tell my girlfriend [18F] of 1.5 yrs about my recent spark of trust issues? | I'm a sophomore in college and she just became a freshman. Luckily we attend the same college, but I'm away at an internship for the fall semester so I won't be around. Currently going through a lot of anxiety.
She just moved in and I know she's out meeting a ton of people. I know exactly what she's going through because I went through the same thing. It's hectic and you want space. I'm quite introverted so I didn't do too hot with the whole friends thing. She however is outgoing and as cute as a button.
As implied from the title, I'm worrying nonstop. A close guy friend of hers from high school is also attending the same college and they're already becoming closer with each passing day. She's also been introduced to some of his guy friends. I feel like my girlfriend has a lot of maturing to do (shit, looks who's talking) and may quickly find herself in a "grass is greener" situation.
Lately I've had so much anxiety that I can barely gain an appetite or focus on simple tasks. Do I tell my girlfriend what's going on? I know this stems from insecurity and that the lack of confidence will probably be a huge turnoff for her, but I'm going insane and could use reassurance. By no means do I want to try setting restrictions on her friendships or anything. | Want to tell my girlfriend about my trust issues but it'll expose my tremendous lack of confidence. Get reassurance or risk pushing her away and/or putting her in a powerful position? |
t3_333wjd | relationships | Me [35 M] with my girlfriend(?) [31 F] a couple of dates, she has genital herpes, what do I do? | I find myself in a conundrum. I recently met a girl that I find myself attracted to. We are really hitting it off, we have had a couple of dates which have involved one heavy make out session but no sex because I have a three date rule. Unfortunately she recently told me she contracted genital herpes a couple of years ago. She takes her medicine like she is supposed to and hasn't had any recent breakouts. On one hand I want to end our relationship from the romantic aspect and just stay friends (if that's possible) because I'm afraid of contracting it. However on the other she is a very nice and caring person and I really enjoy her company. On top of that I feel like if I break things off I'm unjustly punishing her for being honest with me. I know it took a lot for her to be honest and trust me and I would feel horrible if this devastated her. I don't know what to do. I know with the proper medicine and precautions risk of transmission is extremely low however it's still there.
What the hell do I do? What would you do if someone told you they had herpes but you really liked them? Is this a situation you have been in, if so how did you handle it? | She has herpes I don't know what to do. |
t3_2foj38 | tifu | TIFU by sending a picture of my dick to a girl | Like most TIFU's, mine wasn't today. It was about 4 years ago in 8th grade.
I was at a friends house during a sleep over with my other friends when one guy, let's call him Kevin, got a random facebook message from this girl no one knew. We, being 14 year old kids with no previous female contact, decided to push him into asking her to send us...NSFW pictures of herself. She replied that we'd all need to do the same. Out of the 4 people there, I was the only one who did it.
I had taken the picture sitting on the toilet in his house with my old laptop camera which wasn't adjustable. Thus making my package appear small. I sent it and I got boob pictures but that person turned out to be this guy who used to be our friend back in kindergarten. He had a grudge against Kevin and he only did this to get Kevin to do it. Luckily he never made friends with anyone else at our school before transferring.
I was panicked when we all went to school the Monday after. I was quiet all day until lunch, that's when Kevin told everyone at our table. Everyone was shocked. One person told me they never thought I'd do something like that. I wanted to die.
For two months Kevin only called me "shrimpy". Eventually I matured enough to let it go. My friends still joke about it to this day but it's nothing more than just joking. | I was tricked into sending a picture of my 14 y/o dick to an old friend seeking revenge on another friend. |
t3_36xydm | relationships | me [18 M] had a fling with [18 F], and now that I can't have her, I want her. | I had a fling with a girl that lasted a few months. We became almost best of friends and talked all the time. Went on 1-2 dates and slept with each other. As it progressed the romantic spark we had kind of faded, but we kept up contact and I really enjoyed speaking with her.
Fast forward to today and we contact each other way less, I found out through social media shes going on dates with another guy. I wasn't proactive when I could have got her, now that I can't have her im jealous and obsessing over it. It's consuming all of my thoughts and affecting my life.
What should I do? Should I attempt to reconnect with her and see if that spark happens again? The worse thing that could happen is she's not into it and moves on. | its short enough |
t3_2yh693 | relationships | My (27F) job is forcing responsibilities on me that I don't want. Can I say something? | When I first got hired, all of my tasks were pretty much laid out for me before they offered me the job. I was told there would be other responsibilities as they came up, but understood generally what they might entail.
About a month after working, the marketing intern finished his term with us. Instead of finding a new one, they decided to stick me with some of his tasks (I wasn't asked if I wanted it, it was just given to me). For the most part, I didn't care really, because I wanted extra work anyway.
However, it was then that they decided they were going to have me start cold-calling their clients. Initially I assumed it was a one-off thing, but it quickly progressed into hours a day for 3 or more days a week. Essentially, I'm repeating a script over and over and over again for hours until I want to literally kill myself.
I tried speaking to my administrator, who brushed me off by saying it was just my responsibility. She had me train one of the clerks to cover my real responsibilities that I was hired for while I was making these calls.
I can't stand it anymore. I'm behind on my workload, because they force me to drop everything and leave my desk to do this (which they claim is more important, even though some of my items are time sensitive). It's just totally mind-numbing, and I know that the last person who held my position did not have to do it.
My place is also an at-will employer, and I need the money and benefits right now. Do I need to just suck it up, or am I right in thinking this is unfair and I should say something? How would I say it?
I wrote this on my phone so please excuse any typos. | job is forcing responsibilities on me that I don't want. Can I say something? |
t3_1qz0qv | relationships | Can a woman know if I have a crush on her? [everyone involved ~30] | I don't know if it would be called a crush.
I'm happily married [for seven years] and I'm not actually interested in this person. Just happens to me from time to time, to be physically attracted to some one and admire her personality.
She is pretty but I think it probably started because I admire her work as an artist (we belong to the same art stuff group of people, have been working together for 3 years). I do have this same artistical admiration for other colleagues, though.
I don't like to feel this, and I'm impatiently waiting for it to fade away. I get nervous close to this person, because I'm afraid she would notice and I think that would be shameful. We're good friends and I'm a good friend of her SO too. I'm afraid she could feel disrespected.
I don't want to lose a good friendship because of a boner that took itself too seriously. I know this is temporary, but I don't know if she would understand if she noticed it.
Can she notice? Would she be mad? | I'm afraid my friend notices my attraction and gets mad. |
t3_sj4m6 | AskReddit | My boss (CEO) has a hilariously dry sense of humor and drops jokes at inopportune times, however I am the only one that notices. What do you notice at work to which everyone is oblivious? | The other day the top management was in a heated discussion about the progression of an internal business application.
During a particularly spirited rant in which he was defending our developers because they do not receive appropriate requirements, saying that during the vanilla version of the software we have to give clear requirements, and then they can be implemented in subsequent *flavors*.
To be crystal clear, this was a 15 min yelling match, each director defending their departments actions.
I thought this was hilarious and barely kept from laughing. No one else blinked. This happens on a daily basis. | My boss drops jokes at inappropriate times, I'm the only one that hears them. |
t3_2ujj2h | relationships | Me [26M] with my SO [27F] of 2 years - we are going to couples counseling today. | After moving in with my girlfriend, it seems that we've been having a few issues:
* Breakdowns in communication
* Sex frequency has gone down a bit (about once per week now as opposed to 3 - 4 times a week
Those are pretty much our only issues at the moment, but they've seem to have taken quite a big toll on our relationship.
I guess my question is - can people give me some positive personal examples of counseling working? I'm feeling a bit pessimistic at the moment and could really use some perspective/advice how to get the most out of these sessions.
For what it's worth, I really want this relationship to work. | Nervous about going to counseling, feeling pessimistic about it working, want some words of encouragement |
t3_zcxg8 | AskReddit | Am I being irrational by being pissed at this guy who wrote this article about Star Wars Celebration 6? Practically every photo he's mocking people. I know ALOT of these people, majority are 501st members | Little over a week ago, there was a huge star wars convention called Celebration 6. Now I get it, we're a bunch of fanboys who like to go and dress out and have a good time. A good number of these attendees are also members (myself included) of the 501st Legion.
For those that don't know, we are a world-wide star wars costuming charity organization. We do everything for charity, all volunteer.
This web article comes out post-con. IDK who decided to write this, but he/she was a total ass. It's merely a slideshow from the con, and in almost every single one, he's mocking/degrading the people in the photos. It's astonishing how low this guy's remarks are.
You can take a look here:
It amazes me that this is on a major news site, though I originally heard this was coming straight out of Orlando.
It just pisses me off that a major news station in Jax would allow an asshole to go ahead and make comments, trying to knock down people's egos and just be a bully.
Like I said, alot of these people are 501st members, a good number traveled from other countries. It's just disheartening to see those who actually do good for others in the world being degraded and put into a stereotype for the sake of a quick and cheap laugh.
News4jax.com can kiss the fattest part of my ass right now. | Online bully for news station has fun mocking stand up people just because they are star wars fans. |
t3_12bvpk | AskReddit | Recently in AskReddit I've read a lot of sad stories. I would like to change it up a bit, so I ask you, Reddit: What was the happiest day of your life? | I love reading people's opinions and stories in AskReddit, but I've come across a lot of stories about death and break ups and things that make me sad. I thought it would be nice to hear some happy things about your lives. What was a moment in your life that you will always remember for making you incredibly happy?
Mine:
This probably may sound mediocre (my life is still beginning, haha), but I remember one day as a kid. I was about 9 years old, and me and my family (mum, dad, sister) were going on a picnic. I'd never been on a picnic before. I was super excited to have a day surrounded by nature with the most beloved people in my life. We had a big plaid blanket, plastic cups and plates, and a feast. We went to a beautiful woodsy area by this very pretty river. The grass was soft and luscious, and there were huge trees all around, perfect for climbing. We spent all day together, laughing, eating, and my family helped me climb a tree (I was very proud of myself). It may not sound like much, but that day was super special. My family is great, but we rarely bonded like that, and for the entire day I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I think that was a day of my life where I was truly happy. It was almost like after that dat we were closer as a family. | Went on a picnic, bonded with my family, was incredibly happy with a newfound closeness. |
t3_1jpapl | relationships | Me[26M] with my girlfriend [20F] of over 2 years, having problems with age and experience | So, first of all a little about us, like I said in the title i'm six years older than her and we've been dating for over two years. We both love each other very much and for the most part i'd say we have a strong relationship. There's only one real problem which is what i'd like to get some outside viewpoints on.
I'm the only guy she has ever been with. She had a high school boyfriend before me, but they only dated for a few months and nothing serious happened with them. I've been with multiple other girls beside her and know that she's the type of girl I want. We've talked about marriage and spending out lives together but the problem is, she has a part of her that wants to experience being with other guys, I guess is the best way to put it.
She wants to know what it's like to experience those things and I don't know how I feel about it. I love her and would gladly marry her right now. BUt I know she's not ready for that yet. I don't know where this puts our relationship.
I've told her I understand where those feelings come from and don't blame her for wanting to know what else is out there. I told her that if she ever wanted to/had the opportunity to do something sexual with someone, I would want her to tell me. I wouldn't want to not know and always have it in the back of my mind eating at me, wondering if anything else had happened. She agreed to that. But i've been thinking lately if maybe we should talk about being in an open relationship for a while. It wouldn't be a long term thing. That way she could have the chance to see what else is out there. I love her more than i've ever loved anyone and would love to spend my life with her. But I want her to feel the same way, I don't want her to have any questions about being with me. | I'm six years older than my girlfriend which has caused some problems between us. She wants to experience other things and i'm wondering if an open relationship might be best. |
t3_39h3df | relationships | Me [30 M] with my fiancee [29 F] of 1 week living together. I'm walking on egg shells and she feels smothered. How to improve? | 30M here with a terrible history of foot-in-mouth (more on this soon).
Recently engaged my gf of 7 months (we were friends for about 10 years) and moved in with her. First 4-5 days have been your typical honeymoon phase. Lots of smiles, cuddling, and talking about what we're going to do to each bedroom etc.
Lately, she's been incredibly stressed about work and an upcoming Bar exam. I figured I would support her by running errands and having dinners ready for her after work. Since the last 2 days, she's been very distant and unaffectionate. She would withdraw from touches and i'd be walking on egg shells. She went to sleep without me last night (i was up doing some paperwork) and this morning came to me to tell me that she feels overwhelmed with everything -- with work, the bar, with me smothering her etc.. she says that i'm not being who she thought I was and that I feel fake doing all these things.
I've told her i'd stop and i' of course will
I know stress is the worst, but i can't help but feel hurt by her words. It made me question my move across the country to be with her. She kissed me goodbye and told me she loved me. I then asked if it would help her if i went back until she finished her exam (foot in mouth) and she said no | Fiancee feels smothered after a week of living together. I'm lost on what to do next |
t3_3iusu9 | relationships | I [19 M] have been dating my girlfriend [18 F] for 1.5 years, but am having second thoughts. | Allow me to preface this by saying, yes, I am relatively young. Arguably too young to be worrying about these things.
A bit about me: I've dealt with depression and anxiety pretty badly up until now. I'm in my second year of college currently and am trying very hard to make friends and branch out a bit as I am a shy person by nature.
The issue: I still feel like I need to develop and strengthen myself as a person. I've made such great strides in the past year and for once I'm proud of myself. My girlfriend has been extremely supportive throughout my struggles. However, our relationship is reaching a point where I'm starting to feel held back by being in a relationship.
This issue is in no way her fault. We both care about each other very much, we just don't really have anything in common.. I don't like feeling like I'm being held back from being who I could be.
Sorry if this ends up seeming very unorganized, there's just a lot going through my head right now. | I've been developing a lot as a person, but feel like I'm being held back by a 1.5 year relationship. Am I overthinking things or should I take action? |
t3_2v66tt | relationships | I [27 M] love being alone, but has been feeling lonely... | I'm very much an introvert. I love being alone and having freedom to do anything I want, so I've been single all my life, but I find myself lonely sometimes. I'm torn though, because if I go and find someone I'd lose some of that freedom, and plus I'm not a fan of being social, even though I have no problems with social situations and actually work in a very social environment, but that just makes me want alone time even more whenever I can get it.
Anyone else feel that way? How do you manage it? The answer I've gotten so far has been 'just look for someone else who's like you', but... even if that works it would still involve blindly looking until I find someone like that, and frankly I don't know if I have the energy and free time to do that. | love being alone, but feels lonely. |
t3_4qnqpm | personalfinance | Am I crazy to have a large liquid savings account while carrying large loan balances if I feel like the savings is my security blanket? | I have accumulated about $30k liquid savings over the past couple of years and I am reluctant to do anything with it, because I feel like it's a security blanket.
However, the rational side of my brain thinks that I'm crazy for holding on to savings earning less than 1% APY when I have $28,500 in student loans at 6% APR and 15,000 in auto loans at 3% APR. (These payments add up to roughly $750/month.)
Competing with this desire to payoff debt is the desire to save for retirement. Right now my wife and I both contribute to the state teachers' pension programs, but we have only $5000 saved in retirement accounts outside of the pension.
With all of these things competing, am I completely crazy for keeping such an amount in savings?
Other info:
Married, 1 child, 2nd child due in 6 months.
$7000 month take home pay.
$1800 mortgage payment.
No credit card debt. | Is it rational to have large amount of savings when you have debt and/or little non-pension retirement accounts? |
t3_4q99ha | relationships | I [27M] want to break up with my girlfriend [23F] of five years, but don't know how. | Long story short, I feel like I'm trapped in a relationship that is getting worse and worse. Unfortunately, I've been going through this relationship with a smile on my face, trying to get through day-by-day.
What I'm worried about is that she isn't going to see this break-up coming. I do everything she asks me to, she does nothing I ask her to, and I have accepted it because otherwise she gets upset and starts crying. So, I just do everything she asks, never ask her to do anything and hope I can get through the day without her locking herself into our room to pout.
I was originally going to type a huge story of why I'm breaking up with her, but I don't feel like everything was really needed. The main thing is: everything that I loved about her, like her independence and generosity has been fading.
We live together and just recently signed a new lease. I have paid for nearly everything in this apartment. I pay all of the bills and utilties. I pay for her car insurance. I don't want to kick her out on the street, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm willing to help her out while I live here, but I just can't continue the relationship we have.
How am I supposed to approach her about breaking up? Should I do it in the afternoon, with a bag packed up so I can go to my parents' for the day? Should I just say, "Hey, we need to talk..." and then just end it right then and there?
I'm just conflicted. I don't want to continue the relatsionship, but I don't want to ruin her life. Five years is a long time and she's going to resent me for breaking up with her after the promises I made, but I just can't live like this. | Want to break up with my live-in girlfriend from the past five years, but I do not know how to start and what to do to prepare me for her hatred. |
t3_2b07y2 | relationships | I [25F] have been dating a guy [26M] for 2 months, and he told me he's only ever had casual sex. It makes me kind of uncomfortable. | I [25f] met this guy [26m] at a rock climbing gym, and we hung out for about a month before we started dating and having sex. We've been exclusive the whole time.
He's very shy and awkward in general, but especially when it comes to anything related to sex and relationship. He's never been in a serious relationship and says he was never very interested in it. I'm the most serious he's ever been with a girl. He says he wants to work on his issues (like anxiety) so he can be with me and make me happy.
I thought he might've been a virgin to be honest, but it turns out he's had sex 5 times total in his life with 5 different girls-- all one-night stands. I can't put my finger on it, but this makes me uncomfortable. Sleeping with 5 girls is not a big deal, and it's not that I look down on people who've had one night stands. But having had 5 one night stands and solely one night stands...? I don't know what to make of it. He doesn't want to talk about it in any more detail, so I don't want to push it. I myself have had several long-term relationships and 1 one-night stand. | I [25f] have been seeing a guy [26m] for a month. He told me his sexual experience is entirely comprised of one night stands (5 of them). I feel weirdly uncomfortable about that. |
t3_oauo2 | GetMotivated | Lessons from my word of the day: heterotelic | So each day I have a series of habits that help get me focused and on the day (such as doing 5 minute math drills, a 2 min online vocab quiz, a new word of the day, etc. easy, simple, but good). Just talking about those things brings back those elementary school days...YIKES.
Today's word is: (actually yesterdays cuz I need a day to process it)
**heterotelic**
I no longer live a heterotelic life, my purpose is my own. My decisions come from within and are a part of my being. My core, my essence, my drive, my decisions, are the product of a self derived life of choice, perseverance, dedication, hard work, understanding, and an insatiable thirst for knowledge and self-improvement in all its forms....except of course grammar because that/this is a run on sentence.
And if you prefer the positive form of the word: **autotelic | Live for YOURSELF and YOUR purpose, not anyone else's. |
t3_3p2eie | tifu | TIFU by peeing myself in front of my crush | This happened back in primary school, in year 4 during an outdoor adventure weekend.
The weekend started off amazing, so many cool things to do. I was in high spirits, until the Sunday when we were time tabled to do quad biking.
In my particular group, there was this really cute guy who I'd had one of those childish crushes on for four years. It was getting close to my time to go on the quad bike, when I started to really need to pee. I decided to ignore it, and attempt to impress my crush.
My plan succeeded, and he said I was awesome at it, I was on cloud 9. And that's when I felt it, the warm pee running down my leg. I'd completely forgotten about my full bladder. I blushed scarlet, he asked if I was okay but it was too late for that, I bolted to the teacher, said that I really needed the loo, made my friend accompany me and ran towards the nearest loos, inconveniently 5 minutes away. I'm 99% sure he saw my pee patch.
As I was running, the pee was flowing faster and faster, until my entire jeans were completely soaked. I have never been so embarrassed, but my friend had an amazing idea to make up a story that the girls from another school had splashed us in the loos. At least she had my back and I ended up being allowed to change out of my pee fragranced jeans! | Tried to impress my crush, ignoring my bladder which resulted in me peeing myself and losing what little dignity I had. |
t3_2m4lbc | tifu | TIFU by sending my BBM PIN to the entire college. | So, like 90% of the post here, this wasn't today (Surprise, surprise). This was back when BBM had been released for Apple and Android whenever that was. This ones kinda long too. Sorry in advance.
I was in an ICT lesson which had a supply teacher. This was the first lesson of a full day (9am-4pm) and 30 minutes in to the lesson my friends turns to me and says "Hey, let's send our BBM pin to the college" or something along those lines. After about 5 minutes of discussion with 3 friends around us I sent an email to all the students with my BBM pin. Bare in mind all the students add up to around 2,000. I then get an automated email saying there are too many recipients and the email failed to send so I tried again and again around 4/5 times. What I actually didn't know was that it actually sent so I basically sent 5 different emails with the exact same message to 2,000 students.
The next day me and my friend got called in the head office and was told we have been 'misusing the ICT code and email system' by 'spamming.'
We talked at out 20 minutes about what would and could happen to us i.e. Permanently excluded, this event would go on our records for future employers / colleges to see etc. I was sweating so hard I could actually feel my body temperature increasing. In the end we both managed to get a level 3 contract which basically is a report card you have to hand in to your teacher every lesson to sign and means I just got my ass saved. | Sent multiple emails with my BBM pin to my college. Should've only sent one. And also not sending a risky email like that again. |
t3_450sac | relationships | My boyfriend always gets a hard on, but rarely ever wants to do anything about it. | My boyfriend (age 30) and I (woman aged 25) have been in a relationship for about 7 months now. I'm always the one to initiate sex. And half the time, he's not in the mood or too tired...even though his dick is hard. I've asked him about it, and how most guys would love to have sex 2 or 3 times a day, and he just gets defensive about it (those guys never get any so they're desperate, I'm not in the mood I just have to pee, I'm too tired, etc).
So...is my boyfriend normal? Are most guys actually like this, and we all (me included) just think guys want to have sex all the time, but they really don't? Or is there something wrong with me? I know a relationship isn't just about the sex, but it seems like if I didn't initiate it, he'd be fine without having any for like a whole month or something.
P.S. He's said that he used to want sex all the time when he was younger, but he's learned to save it and make it mean something. | My bf always gets a hard on, but never wants to do anything about it... |
t3_43v7c3 | personalfinance | Underemployed because I just got back to the US. Can't qualify for apartment and being encouraged to lie. Advice? | Hi all, thanks in advance for some advice.
I just got back into the US last week and desperately need to set myself up with housing. I have plenty of money (~$10k) in the bank and am still making about $1400/mo from my old employer overseas for remote work. I'm sure I'll double that when I can get some part-time work locally.
My boyfriend works 30 hours/week for his family restaurant, but gets paid basically nothing.
The apartment I'm trying to rent is $900/month. The problem is I can't qualify for any apartment in the area because they all want proof of 3x monthly rent, but I also can't easily get a job while I'm living out of my suitcase. Also, I would totally go for a cheaper place, but $500/month rents just don't exist around here. And $800/month rents aren't typically in safe areas.
The leasing agent at the property we're looking at says that if my boyfriend's parents (his bosses) sign a document saying he makes $1300/mo, they'll rent to us. We're worried about lying coming back and biting us in the ass somehow. Thoughts? Is there another way that leasing companies can usually handle/prove income? | Leasing agent is encouraging me to lie about my income to qualify for an apartment. Just morally uncomfortable, or legally/financially dicey? Is there any other way that income is usually verified? |
t3_1qgr55 | AskReddit | What should I do if I want to start getting serious about my future (career)? | I've recently finished university (UK) in a degree I didn't enjoy (and no longer wish to persue) with a low grade and spent a year traveling to figure out what I want to do. I've come to realise what I do / don't enjoy doing but at a loss of where to go from here (I don't want to end up in a minimum paid job for the rest of my life). I'm asking if anyone can offer me some advice on my situation.
Studied biomedical science, interested in computer science or also teaching / working with kids but open to other fields. | Bad Uni choices, worried I'm fucked career wise. |
t3_qzliz | AskReddit | What is the dumbest thing you have ever witnessed a person do? | Some time ago, I was waiting in line at CVS to buy a couple of items. There were two teenage guys in front of me and the cashier told them that they owed around 4 bucks. One of the guys hands the cashier a couple of quarters and looks at her as if he is expecting change. She asks him for the rest of the money. He responds by saying "you have it" rather affirmatively. She looks at him with a puzzled face and says that he gave her a couple of quarters. At this point the guy is pissed off and exclaims "COUNT, I gave you 4 quarter DOLLARS. It says so right there!" I couldn't believe what the hell had just transpired in front of me and I thought it was a joke, but the kid was dead serious. Good times. | Teenage genius at CVS didn't know the difference between a quarter and a dollar. |
t3_t0mvm | AskReddit | Reddit, I need your help to get revenge on my neighbors. | My neighbors are the worst. They call the police on my roommates and I at least every week. We haven't said one word to them and we are not noisy or loud, yet every week there is a noise complaint accompanying the 5-0. We've had the cops show up while it's still daylight saying we were watching tv too loudly... The call anytime I have my work van in front of the house claiming that suspicious activity is going on. Every week it's some new and exciting way in which we're bothering them. We get harassed by the cops that show up because the house two doors down (in the other direction) is the same floor plan, same paint and only a 1 digit difference in number (we're XX1X and they are XX0X) and they really do case all sorts of problems. Recently there was a drug bust at that house and they are always getting in trouble for parties. This information falls on deaf cop ears as we "are lying" and they know that we have been causing the trouble.
Well todays was the straw that broke the camels back. I arrived home from work to see 2 cops waiting for me. Awesome! Apparently they received an anonymous email detailing the "party" we had on Friday night, only problem is we didn't have a party. In fact, not one of my roommates or I was even in town that day. Yes, we got a noise complaint on a completely vacant house. I am furious. I am at my wits end and want nothing more than to do something terrible and drastic, but I know this would be most unwise. So I turn to you, oh wise redditors, to help me take revenge on these most irritating of neighbors. | I have shitty neighbors that call the cops on my apparently empty house parties; seeking immediate revenge. |
t3_2n08ab | relationships | I [24F] am worried that my fiance [26M] is still having thoughts of his ex. | So my fiance (M) and I have been together a little over two years. Prior to that he dated a girl (L) for 5 years on and off. She was very controlling and struggled with depression and an eating disorder while they dated. She frequently broke up with him to date other guys, only to come crawling back when those relationships ended.
When M and I met he and L were still together, but barely. She refused to acknowledge their relationship, but he wasn't allowed to talk to/hang out with/see other girls. We worked together, and I think I was a sharp contrast to L.
M and I began spending more and more time together, becoming very close friends. His relationship with L also got increasingly more emotionally abusive, and then became physically abusive. M sort of shrugged it off because of L's size and inability to hurt him. Anyways, I'm rambling. On to us.
We are very recently engaged, but have had a very good relationship thus far. I have never worried previously of him having thoughts of L and we are very open about our feelings. We have talked about L relatively frequently, but we've also talked about my crappy exes too.
This brings us to last night. We went out and he got pretty drunk (not something we typically do). He brought L up and talked about her a lot. More than we usually do. The way he was talking about her made me uncomfortable, so I didn't really engage him on it, but he kept talking about her. Things said include; "I always told her we'd have jewish looking babies with giant noses."; "She was such a bitch but that's what I like about her."; "She was really terrible in the end, but it was so much better in the beginning."
Now, I don't know if I'm overreacting, if he was just remembering fond times before things went south, or what. I'm more than willing to discuss this with him, and I plan to today when we get home from work, but I just need some opinions. | My (new)fiance got drunk last night and talked strangely/sort of fondly about his ex-gf. Now I'm worried he's having thoughts of her and is too afraid to tell me. |
t3_4lddvx | relationships | Boyfriend (20s) dumped me (20s F) unexpectedly. Have been left heartbroken and devastated. I'm also pregnant. | Long story short, my (20 F) boyfriend (20 M) was my world, my best friend, my love. I thought we'd be together forever. He dumped me after a fight over him standing up to his dad for me. I was supposed to meet his family this weekend, I even had a ring from him. We were together just over a year.
I can't just avoid him, we have classes together and are going on a trip together in the fall. We also have all mutual friends. He said horrible nasty things to me during the breakup, like that he was faking it all and didn't love me. He compared me to his child-molester, monster of an uncle. He's bipolar and has said nasty things before, but never like that.
I found out afterwards that I was pregnant. He claimed he'd pay to get it taken care of, but I'm handling it on my own. He says he wants to be friends, but I don't know how that's even possible. I'm just completely devastated. Where do I go from here? | Boyfriend dumped me after refusing to stick up for me. He was my everything. Pregnant and hormonal now. How do I move on? |
t3_312cv2 | AskDocs | Nose problems | Hey there,
I'll try and make this quick. Had an ear problem a couple years ago and went to see an ear specialist (always forget the correct term for them) and when he looked up my nose he asked me when I broke it. Problem is, as far as my parents and I know (I'm 26 and male by the way), it has never been broken. I can't even remember ever getting hit in the nose at all, to be honest so I thought nothing of it and went on with my life. Saw a doctor for another ear problem recently (apparently my ears suck too) and he asked the same thing! I was given breathe right strips and when I put them on it's like a different world.
Is this a deviated septum? Is it something else? I know things are impossible to diagnose without seeing but I figured any wisdom or knowledge you guys have is better than walking around wondering if I forgot that time I broke my nose! | Doctors ask when I broke my nose, never broke my nose, what's up with my nose? |
t3_2gkwyw | relationships | My [20m] recently ex-girlfriend of two months is in a bad spot. Should I still try and help her even though she broke up with me? | We were dating for about 2 months, she broke up with me a couple weeks ago. She said that I was a great guy, but she just didn't see a future with me. That's fair, and I can respect that.
But I know she goes to MIT for pre-med, and her semester just started. And I know last year, once school started she was so consumed by stress that she stopped eating, stopped bathing, and wouldn't even go to the doctor when she started having severe back pains because she "didn't have time".
I know we're broken up, I'm not trying to get back together with her. But I still care about her, and I'm worried about her going into this state because it's not safe and it's not healthy.
I had planned on checking in on her from time to time, to bring her dinner, make sure she's okay. Can I still do this now that we're broken up? We still talk pretty frequently over text, but I don't want to cross a boundary. | can I check on my ex from time to time to make sure she's eating and healthy? |
t3_2iq880 | relationships | Me [21 F] with my cheating ex [22 M] over a year, I feel empty. | My ex utterly screwed me over so I dumbed him but he still picked her over me. I was in a deep depression before the breakup due to family health issues that same week. Now I keep lurking, it feels like an addiction. I've tried to stop by blocking and deleting but I find myself getting anxiety when I don't check.
Sometimes checking makes me feel better when I see he's talking to multiple girls, and sometimes it upsets me when I see he's with the girl he cheated on me with. It just upsets me that he's moved on with another girl only a couple weeks later and I couldn't even picture myself with another person at the moment.
I don't know what I'm expecting to get out of this post. I just feel a pain in my chest and I miss him but I know I would never want him back. I'm having a terrible time letting go because he's always come back every time he's screwed up. Part of me is scared I wont have the courage to say no to him if he comes back.
I don't know maybe i'm looking for advice or people who have been in a similar situation, or maybe just some words of encouragement. | Need help moving on and letting go after getting cheated on. |
t3_4xsav0 | tifu | TIFU by challenging someone I thought was robbing my parents. | A few years ago my parents went on holiday and asked me to look after their dog. My Dad drops the dog round but in his rushing forgets to bring the dog food. No problem I tell him, I'll go pick some up from the shop for today and tomorrow I'll go round their house and grab some. So I finish work the next day and drive to my parents house, I pull in the driveway and there are three people coming out of my parents house. "Oh shit!" I think, they must be robbing us. So I hit the car horn first to draw attention to me and get out the car and yell as loud as I can "What the hell are you doing in my parents house!" For what feels like a minuite they all stand still so I walk closer repeating it again, phone in hand ready to ring for the police. I also get a proper look at them. One is 50 or so in a suit and the other two are male and female and holding hands. Just before the guy in the suit speaks to me I realise why they are there. So he says "Ah you're their son right? Well I'm sure they told you that they've put the house up for sale, I was just showing these people round." Now while I was surprisingly prepared to confront three strangers, suddenly I'm just not prepared for an awkward situation so I start mumbling. "Oh you're the estate agent haha of course how silly of me. For a second I thought you were.....oh I'm very sorry, ha ha how foolish of me.......etc. While the young couple walk past us and out the drive very quickly indeed. I said sorry about 20 more times to the estate agent and my feet and then went in and got the dog food. The house did sell eventually, but not to those people. | I thought a couple being shown round my parents house were robbers so I shouted at them until the estate agent swooped in and explained that I had not interrupted a robbery just a sales pitch. |
t3_1ac2lx | dating_advice | [23m] Should I go for the girl I like [18f] or someone that likes me and I may end up liking eventually [21f]? | I really connected with a younger (18) girl than I in college. I'm a senior she's a freshman. Since we connected so well we're almost like best friends we really like seeing each other but it hasn't gotten too physical yet. Theres a deep mutual caring for each other yet we also manage to have fun and are playful with one another often, esp. when alcohol is involved. The other girl (21) really seems to like me, seems interested in me, wants to talk to me and know more about me perhaps even more so than girl 1. Also a senior. I don't feel a great attraction or connection to girl 2 as I do with girl 1. Question is, I'm looking for a relationship, which of these girls will satisfy me. Theres more passion with girl 1 but seemingly more stability with girl 2, since I won't be as emotionally volatile with someone I don't like as much. I guess its an issue of trust. | Really like a 18 yo girl but conflicted by 21 yo girl, want a relationship not sure which to trust will be steady. |
t3_4hz687 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 1 and a half years, having trouble with giving each other space! | Am I being unreasonable? We spend almost every hour together, during the day we're together mostly and in the evenings it's automatically assumed either that I am staying at hers or she is staying at mine unless otherwise previously stated.
It's reaching finals week and things are getting stressful. I've just had one night off, I stayed at mine because I had to get up early while prior to yesterday night, we've been at eachothers everyday since Thursday. Even with last night to myself, I still didn't feel like it was truly just to myself as I wasn't feeling good. Am I a dick for asking for space or for time to myself?
Earlier, we had an argument on the basis that as I asked if it was okay for me to stay, she says its fine, but later says that her releative has fallen very ill. It's almost as if she had mentioned it purely to manipulate me into coming to hers? I just don't know what to do. I cannot win either way. | upon telling my gf that i cant stay over, she tells me her aunt is very ill and needs someone, i tell her i need space, she gets upset, tells me how sad she is feeling, and i feel bad |
t3_25os97 | relationships | Me 25/F breaking up with my new boyfriend 25/M how can I go about this without really hurting him? | Ok, This is our second time giving a relationship a go. It's been two months and I'm just not feeling it. I don't feel any chemistry with him plus I'm starting grad school in the fall and really want to focus on myself right now (as selfish as that seems). I've decided to break things off with him before we get too attached to each other.
The problem is, he left his most recent girlfriend to be with me and I don't want him to think that was all for nothing. She was a really terrible person and he's better off without her. He's just the type who always needs to be in a relationship. I really don't want to hurt him or lose him as a friend. I know that's hard to do, but what's the best way to go about this. | I'm ready to break up, what's the best way to do it without really hurting him? |
t3_2s42a7 | relationships | Me (24m) with my colleague (40f). She's lazy and does noticeably less work than everyone in my team | Okay so this isn't a new issue, it's been going on for the last 6 months at least.
We work in a small phone based customer service team (7 of us), taking calls and doing general administration tasks. Our calls are generally straight forward and don't last more than a couple of minutes.
I've been in this job for about 18 months and an the most senior member of the team (with the exception of my team leader). The woman in question, 8 months. We have a program that monitors in real time what other members are doing like if they are ready to take calls or if they are not (an option usually reserved for toilet breaks or if you have work that needs doing)
The problem is, this woman spends a lot of time on the 'not ready' option and will go on it after every single call without fail then proceed to sit there for 3-4 minutes (all while our queues are busy). I could understand of she had stuff to do but she does it after every call and has no more work than any of my other colleagues who manage their time properly.
It's especially annoying when you work hard and take call after call all the while watching this girl screw around and waste time. She is also 5-10 minutes late back from most breaks and late most mornings.
My manager is incapable of seeing bad in people and, i think, is a little scared of confrontation. Numerous times I've bought this to her attention and all she does is thank me for it without doing anything. Her manager is also someone we work with sometimes and I'm wondering if i should go straight to him with a complaint about it.
She just doesn't pull her weight and it means we all have to work harder. How should o confront this? | colleague doesn't pull her weight and manager doesn't seem to care. Should i go to senior manager with complaint? How do i do this without painting a target on my own head? |
t3_3382rg | relationships | I(19M) just broke up with my 1 year gf(18F). We made agreement to stay kind of like FWB. And I wanna ask about your opinion. | So little information. Much longer before we broke up we made agreement stay FWB.
Reason why is cause both of us liked those intimate times.
Now after break up I am starting to worry about it. Mostly because I am not sure if I love her anymore.
Oh and reason why we broke up was my over jealousy. And we had a big argument when she promised to call me or message and she didn't because she didn't had the time.
But she was online all the time on facebook and liking post and stuff like that.
So I was angry at her and throwed it at her face. She then made total dick of me. After that everyone went his/her way.
First night I was crying like baby, very emotional guy losing his first real GF. Second night I was thinking and came to problem. I still love her as she loves me but I am not sure if it's true love from my side.
So can you help me with your opinion on all of it ? | Gf broke up with me and we agreed long before it to stay FWB. |
t3_4ruyz6 | relationships | Me [20M] had a crush for 3 years on a girl[21F] I met during oWeek 3 years ago, how should I make a move on it? | Using a throwaway cause I don't want to be linked back to my actual Reddit account and have the girl find out.
**Back Story**
So myself[M20] and this girl[21](girl A) attends university in Canada. During frosh week 3 years ago, we meet since we were in the same group and same program. Obviously, we hit it off well with each other and chatted really well.
When school started, we would often study together and such. At that time, I felt myself growing more & more to liking her but I couldn't find the courage to ask her out (I blame my 17 year old self too). Instead, I took a low route and started asking a mutual friend (Girl B who is also in our program) to reach out indirectly and ask her if Girl A had feelings for me. Girl B replied back to me that she couldn't find out. Because of how our program works, we get assigned teams. As luck would have it, I was paired with Girl B for a major group project and we ended up spending a lot of time together (Girl A probably noticed that too). However, I still try to keep in touch with Girl A, and after walking her home from a study session, I confused (poorly). She replied(paraphrase) "I don't like you now, but who knows about the future".
**Fast-forward**
Fast forward a couple of years and I realized my feelings for Girl A never died. Instead, during that time period I entered what I believe people describe as the "friend zone". We would exchange FB msg with each other(100K lines - significantly more than I had with other ppl). In the mean time, i tried to take her out for coffee and/or dinner and she would usually defer or accept(we chill for non school reasons ~ once a month).
Going forward, I am not sure how to handle this situation - I don't think its healthy for me to continue thinking like this but I really still think we were meant to be. | liked a girl in first year and confessed->she said maybe later->been "friend zoned" for the past 3 years but still have feelings-> what to do about the feelings |
t3_eajl1 | needadvice | Political Science Colleges in California | Hello everyone. I am an avid visitor of Reddit and regularly share posts from here to my facebook friends. I noticed that this community also houses intelligent people from around the world, most of whom are capable of giving great advice, so I decided to come here and try my luck. I apologize if this seems utilitarian of me to register just when my need is great, but here goes:
I have a girlfriend, 17 years of age, and she would like to come to California to study Political Science. We don't have any relationship problems thus far, and she recently decided to make the commitment to move from Ohio to California to both pursue her dreams and be with me. I greatly appreciate this and I am hoping to point her to the right colleges. One quick search on Google tells me the following colleges should be considered: Berkeley, USC, UCLA, UCSD and CIT. I have also recently read about someone getting scammed by DeVry, which further worries me if I gave her the right colleges. Lastly, there are some tips and tricks that family members have informed me about, like applying to a Community College for 2 years and then moving on to Political Science in one of the private schools. What advice would you give to me? | My girlfriend wants to study in CA. I need 1) names of good colleges and 2) ways of how to get into the top-notch ones. |
t3_ymbrv | relationships | Is it worth it in the long run reddit? Confused on weather I should stay or go. [18]M [17]F | First of all sorry if I'm doing anything wrong I don't really post on reddit.
Well i've been dating my girlfriend for around 5 months (i know it's not alot) everything is great we don't really argue, we make a cute couple and we've been happy together. She is a really nice girl, very respectful, beautiful, and has a great personality. She's basically everything I want in a girl. There are some things that bother me though, her father doesn't let her have a boyfriend and he is over protective. We have only been on 3 dates besides the times I've gone to eat with her on her break at work. We spent most of our time at school together but I already graduated last year. She has a best friend thats a guy, I have no problem with this because I can't control who she's friends with but it does bother me, and she has an ex who she dated for 8 months who she thinks still loves her (they're still friends but she will stop talking to him if he ever tries to get with her). She really loves me, I'm different from other guys she's dated, some of them were a-holes and I'm one of the good guys. I treat her like a queen, I do alot of little things for her that make her happy. She says she loves me to death and that i'm her other half but I don't think that I feel the same :/
For some reason I find myself just not happy anymore. She's a real good girl, she's a keeper but I feel like I'm not the one for her. I don't know why I feel like this and now I find myself thinking about breaking up with her.
Basically I don't know what I should do, break up with her or stay and hope my feelings come back. | Been dating a girl for 5 months who I find perfect who thinks I'm "The One" but I feel that I'm no longer happy and confused over if I really love her or not |
t3_2b6kty | tifu | TIFU by texting a girl after a date... | This coworker and I have been getting really close lately. Occasionally kissing after work and texting a lot. Well, tonight we went on our first real date. Great time, at first. Her phone starts going off and she responds to every text, while I, like any good person at a dinner with someone, leave my away. Whatever. Then she gets a call, answers it at dinner. Ok, whatever maybe she's just attached to the phone. We played pool for a bit, continue texting. It's and bar and I'm six months from being 21 (she is 21) so I have to leave at 10. Well turns out the person she was texting was the next guy she was going to get drinks with after, he just walked up while I was talking to her and she just said wait outside. So 10 rolls around I pay for her food and all her fucking alcohol and then peace out. I then, as a joke, text her "two dates in 1 night? impressive" because I didnt think she was that kinda person. Well, she snapped and told me to fuck off. I really like her and well I fucked that up. Oh well I move in a month.... I'm not sure if I fucked up but I feel like I did. | got a girl mad at me cause she invited another date, during ours. |
t3_1y6d5j | relationships | Advice needed: I am good friends with an ex. This is problematic. | I'm in a situation and I really need some advice. It involves me (call me C, 20/M), my girlfriend (call her N, 19/F) and my ex (call her J, 18/F).
J and I dated for two years senior year of high school and freshman year in college and we split up last summer (I am now a sophomore in college). Over the summer and in the time since J and I have dated other people and learned to become friends, and she has become one of my best friends along with my two best guy friends. About a month ago I start seeing N; she's perfect, wonderful, and everything I would want in a girl, and I'm really starting to fall for her, and her for me as well. Around the time when N and I were first getting together J tells me that she still loves me and that it was the biggest mistake of her life to let me go in the summer. N asked about J and I, being the honest person that I am, told N the truth about how J felt. N is now extremely unhappy about J for the following reasons:
In N's past, she loved (and dated for 3 years) a boy who left N for his best friend; this scarred her. She has also been left by two other guys for other people. She also relates to J and knows how J feels about me because that is how N used to feel about her ex as well. N talked to her friends who told her that dating me was a bad situation because of J's attachment and how it makes N feel.
This is all very very frustrating for me. I don't want I ditch J because I'm one of her only friends and she is like one of the group back home, but I really care about N so much and I really think this relationship could turn into something special. I'm afraid it might be too much for N, and I'm afraid she will leave to avoid making me choose. Help... Advice??? | Ex is good friend but still likes me, I just want to keep being friends with her, gf doesn't like any of it. |
t3_36jzis | relationships | I (26M) don't want to marry my fiance (21F). | I've been engaged for 7 months and I think I'm about to make a serious mistake. I've been with this girl for nearly two years and she got pregnant shortly after we got together. For months before and after our son was born, my then GF nagged me constantly about marriage, so I finally broke down and proposed.
At the time, she gave me the space to be happy, she was hot & fun, and she was a good mom to our kid. I guess it made sense to make it permanent. But her sex drive had been dead for many months before my son was born, and has never returned. Her attitude towards my demanding job (career firefighter) has been less understanding. She doesn't like when I do things without her, she gets very jealous and always thinks that I'm up to no good (even stuff like me going to the gym turns into a full day of guilt trips and moody arguments).
She's still a good mom, but I can't stand being around her these days. I look forward to my 48 hour shifts because I get to escape for a few days. I've tried talking with her and making it clear that things need to change, but she blows it off and says the same thing back to me. I'm tired of the dog on a leash treatment and the utter death of any romance in our relationship for more than a year. All we do is argue.
I'd leave her if my kid didn't exist, but I don't want him growing up with separated parents like I did. It was shitty because my mom was awful to my dad, and I bet this girl would be the same way to me.
My gut says stop everything and make plans for her to GTFO, but nothing is that simple when kids are involved. What would you do? | Low-maintenance GF gets Prego, has my kid, and gets a ring. She turns into a bitch and I don't want to leave because I don't want my kid to grow up in a broken home like I did. |
t3_2q2kfq | relationships | I [22F] am trying to figure out how to respond to [28M]'s simple text. Casual dating. Why is this so hard? | So, a mutual friend was talking to 28M, who is recently out of a relationship and looking for something casual. Mutual friend told him that I'm recently single and think he's hot... because I do... 28M told him to give me his number. We talked for a while through text and the three of us hung out last night to break the ice a bit.
This morning he texted me
> Just an FYI, you can text me whenever you want.
I suppose it's necessary to say that I'm definitely interested in hanging out again, and I am generally great at communicating. Why is this text throwing me off?
My initial reaction was to respond, "I'll keep that in mind :]" or "Haha. Okay." but I honestly think that can come across as somewhat dismissive. And now I've overthought it too much and don't know what to say.
I just want to let him know that I'm interested in continuing to talk without sounding like a dork. The awkwardness I'm feeling right now is ridiculous. | How do you respond to "Text me whenever you want"? I've over-thought it and don't know what to say. |
t3_3uqui9 | tifu | TIFU by not picking up after my dog. | Earlier today I took my dog for a walk. I didn't bring a poop bag, because we were going to a nearby forest. We were a bit behind our normal schedule so he went for a number two near our parking lot.
After our walk I took the dog inside, grabbed a poop bag and headed over to the crime scene. Before I reach the poop I noticed some hubbub in the parking lot. I went to see what was going on.
One of my neighbors had backed up his car to another. No-one was injured, but the all the body work, paint job, tail light, etc is going to cost quite a bit.
What happened was the neighbor stepped on *"some goddamn fucking dog shit"* on the way to his car and while backing up, his slippery poopfoot slipped off the clutch, sending the car across the lot into the other car. | Neighbor stepped on my dog's poop and crashed his car to another car because of it. |
t3_2xtu3g | relationships | My (25 m) monogamous girlfriend (24 f) of two years posted a pro polyamory article on Facebook, is this a red flag? | so the situation isn't much more complicated than the title reads but after she posted it, I just asked her about it and her feelings on it and let her know that I was wondering if she felt that she wanted a polyamorous relationship. She got really defensive and angry and said that she feels like she shouldn't have to reassure me about our relationship and that she is only with me. Maybe I am overthinking it, but I don't understand why she posted it then. Does it seem weird or was I really just reading into it too much? | girlfriend posted a pro polyamory article on Facebook, didn't know how to take it, so I asked her about it. Now she is angry. What should I do? |
t3_1b5xbl | BreakUps | Today was a bad day. | What should have been a relaxing day off from work turned into an emotional train wreck. I've been smothering the heartbreak-depression by playing video games as much as possible, but today I had to go see my eye doctor in another city I used to live in. After the checkup, I had to wait a long time for the train home to arrive. During that time I walked around and was hit by a wave of nostalgia, and didn't have any distractions to stop thinking about the man I love who doesn't love me back.
It was like all the pain that had been suppressed by games bubbled up to the surface. How much I miss him, want to talk to him, wish I could see him again. Then I was crying on the train, which is just about the loneliest experience in the world. You worry people will notice you crying in a public place... but the truth is no one cares. They have their own lives and avoid a stranger in crisis like the plague. When I finally got home, feeling like all the progress since the breakup was lost, not even playing games helped much.
Now I'm avoiding going to bed because that's always the worst. I miss hearing him say good night, and knowing somewhere out there he was thinking about me too.
It's just been a sad, lonely day. Thanks for reading. | Venting about a shitty day to avoid thinking about breaking no contact. |
t3_12jqma | pettyrevenge | I request revenge help from you creative minds. (X-post from r/askreddit | I'm in highschool and I asked advice of a couple girls who I thought were friends, turns out two were two weren't. What I said to them was basically, I think I'm going to break up with my boyfriend because I want really having feelings for him anymore and I liked another guy who was also on our bus. I had to tell them because earlier that year he had a crush on girl #2 so I wanted to make sure that was over. They said it was adorable and # 1 and # 2 would be my wingmen. That was on a Tuesday. That friday I saw #1 and the guy holding hands. I didn't really know what to think so I shook it off, though i had a sneaking suspicion that they were talking about me. Later that night #2 texted me and said "sorry you had to see that, guy and # 1 kissing"
she told me that #1 had a crush on him too and just didn't tell me because she felt bad because I was going to break up with my boyfriend. Again I was upset, but i shook it off because I wanted to stay friends with these girls. I thought it was a nice move that #1 appologised and said how both she and #1 felt bad.
Until today I was mostly over it and him until girl # 3 who has been really good friends with me since we were 2 told me that the guy and #1 never really kissed, they were just messing with me, because they told him and thought it would be funny. | told four girls who i liked, they told him, pretended to kiss him, laughed at me behind my back. I need some help subtly getting revenge. |
t3_4md5fu | relationships | I [25F] need help letting someone down easy that I see regularly | It's funny because someone I really liked just did this to me (through text initially) in a way I thought was a little hurtful. But now I need to let someone else down easy. We've been on 3-4 dates (one was a short lunch meet up), and just met up a 5th time for breakfast. I fully intended to let him know I just wanted to be friends. I think he's a really nice guy but I'm just not feeling it.
However, I am feeling so ridiculously stupid because I never came around to saying it! I think he can maybe sense my lack of interest, but we didn't make any plans going forward, which was when I was planning on saying my thing. He walked me to my car and kissed me and it felt too cruel to push him away. There was no natural point where I could have brought it up. I would have had to have broken the silence to say "I don't want to date anymore" basically, and I'm very awful at bringing up tough subjects. Once they are brought up it is much easier for me to talk, but I fumble over my words and freak out if I'm the one that has to start.
I see him at the office he works at once a week so I don't want to draw things out and make them awkward (too late?)
So what is the best thing to do going forward? Wait until he asks me out again (which if he does will be over the phone.) Is it considered rude to do it by phone? | Feeling stupid that I didn't say anything about not wanting to continue dating during what was supposed to be our last meet up (in my head.) |
t3_1ldp28 | relationships | How can I (24/M) discreetly ask out an older coworker (27/F)? | Normally I wouldn't consider dating someone I work with, but she's more of a temp than a coworker and she won't be at our office very much in the near future. Like most men I'm relatively oblivious to women's signals; she, on the other hand, is being VERY clear.
So my question is how can I ask her out discreetly while at the office? Also tied in to that is it would be highly unlikely we'd have more than a few moments alone together, so it will need to be quick. Oh, and bonus round question: Let's say I can't get a moment alone with her. Is there a "coded" way I could ask her out in front of a couple other temps that she would pick up on? Thank you in advice for your input, this is a unique situation I haven't been in before. | Please read above, but if not how can I ask her out discreetly? |
t3_2riy30 | relationships | My (24F) father (56M) mutters and whispers to himself and hits himself in the head. He thinks there's nothing wrong, and I'm unsure how to respond to it. | I always thought it was just my father doing things my father does. My younger siblings find it quite funny because they don't know how to react to it, and compare it to Gollum.
He's already seen a doctor and has been diagnosed with depression. My mother once told us that she suspects he has MPD, but there's been no official diagnosis for it and if he does, I don't think I've seen him switch personalities before.
His whispering ranges from abstract numbers, calculations that relate to electricity and deep growling that doesn't sound like any language I've ever heard of before. Occasionally I've heard him arguing with himself, saying that he doesn't want to hurt anybody and to stop. It usually happens when he doesn't know I'm around, as I have a habit of sitting in strange places unmoving for a while, and he doesn't see or notice me.
I've spoken to him about personality disorders and schizophrenia before, and he doesn't seem to relate to them at all. He also doesn't seem to view his behaviour as strange or unique in any way.
He's very intelligent, interesting, successful in his field (he works extensively with electricity, which may be why he makes verbal calculations about it, and often leaves random calculations scribbled in my notebook if I leave it lying around) and although he has a odd way of socialising, he makes many friends regardless. I don't know if it's worth trying to get him help or at least speak honestly with a doctor to try and get a diagnosis when it doesn't seem to particularly negatively impact his life. According to our grandmother, he has been eccentric since he was little.
Outside of being unorganised and prone to neglecting himself, he's a wonderful father. I'd like to help him if he needs it, but I'm not sure he needs it. | My dad is a bit eccentric, and has behaved bizarrely ever since I was a small child. Unsure how to respond to it.* |
t3_2as63g | relationships | My (f22) ex (m26) left me and I'm having trouble accepting it | My ex left me because he wants freedom and I want commitment. I didn't want to open our relationship which ultimately ended in breaking up. That was the last thing I wanted... I just couldn't handle the idea of sharing him with someone else. I do respect that he is willing to talk about how he feels rather than just go out and cheat.
But now we're broken up. We still talk. He still says "I love you" and calls me baby. It hurts though. I feel like if he really loved me, we'd still be together. He basically said we could possibly get back together in the future, but now isn't a good time. I'm devastated. He'll still see me and we can still go on dates, but I've been with this man off and on since 2007... I'm completely lost. I depend on him emotionally. He's the person who talks me through everything and has for almost 8 years of my life...
I want to save myself for him. Wait until he's ready and rekindle our relationship. I want to continue to see him on the weekends... BUT another part of me wants to let him go since apparently I am disposable. He said he wouldn't stop talking to me or being my friend. I appreciate that, but if we hang out I already know it will lead to sex and I'm never going to get over this. | boyfriend left me to have freedom, he is my best friend so I can't just let him go. Idk what to do. |
t3_4jli4j | relationships | I'm [20 M] trying to get back into the dating game after a horrible almost two year relationship with my ex [19 F] just wanted some advice. | I think it's time to get back into dating but I need some advice on a few things. I was reading through the front page and seen a post about a women being judged about how many people she's been sexually involved with... And it might be shocking to some but I was actually against her and I feel bad for it... Should I be judgmental? I've only been sexually involved with 2 people throughout my lifetime both of which were virgins I've always been with virgins because I don't like the thought of not being my gf's first but I also feel bad because it makes me a hypocrite. What if it comes up while we're dating and I don't like how many other people my potential gf has been with? How do some of you deal with it? Any dating advice in general would be helpful too! | Getting back into dating I would like some advice from you all. Specifically how to deal with how many previous sexual partners a potential gf has had, although general dating advice is also appreciated! |
t3_1zfn26 | relationships | Would it be a bad idea for me [23F] to ask mutual friends for (platonic) updates on my ex [24M] from a few years ago? | My ex [24M] and I [23F] were on and off and kinda unhappy for like two years before getting in a huge fight and deleting each others' numbers a few years ago. We are much better off not together, and although I missed being friends at first because we were friends for a long time before, I don't think us being in touch would be a good thing. It was kinda bad on both sides, don't want to dig up old issues.
I personally really like to kinda keep tabs on old friends, exes, and stuff, just for closure reasons. Every year or two I'll look them up online, see how they are doing, and forget about them for another however long. Except a while ago my ex changed careers, moved countries, and disappeared from mutual friends lives, no facebook, no photo tags, just completely gone. Both me wanting to be updated and the mystery of this has made me really curious, and also he was really important for me for so many years and I want to know how he's doing and I worry that things aren't okay because there was some weird family and personal stuff going on in his life before that he wouldn't tell me much about.
I was thinking of asking our old mutual best friend for info, but I don't want it to get back to my ex and have him either get pissed or try to contact me back, and I also feel like maybe he's trying to hide on purpose and I shouldn't dig too much? I know it's bad to obsess over past stuff, but I think about this stuff way more now that I'm wondering about what weird stuff happened. | I usually use Facebook as a yearly newsletter of what friends and exes are up to, my old best friend/ex deleted everything and made crazy life changes, would it be a bad idea to ask his best friend wtf happened? |
t3_3kpka4 | relationships | I'm (21M) not sure how to improve communication with my girlfriend (21F) | We've been together for a few months (we've been friends for a couple of years), and I'd say about two-thirds of the time we're together we're really happy together. The problem is the other third of the time is miserable. Her stress level goes from 0-100 instantly, and when she gets stressed she blames me for her problems: she's told me it's my fault she's done poorly on tests, my fault she spends too much money (I insist on paying when we go out), my fault she doesn't have her shit together when she travels, et cetera. She always apologizes when she's calmed down, but it still keeps happening.
When I try to talk to her about this (or about anything we disagree about, like politics or religion or whatever), she gets defensive and treats it like a personal attack. Whenever I tell her seriously that we need to talk about something, she rolls her eyes, crosses her arms and talks to me like I'm an idiot. I've seen her do this with her parents and her friends, so I know its not particular to our relationship, but it makes it hard to actually address any of our problems. She always apologizes for this too, but it also keeps happening nevertheless.
We do love each other, and after we graduate we want to stay together, but at this point I'm only living in the city I live now because she's there (she graduates college in the spring, and I don't like this place). My friends think I should dump her as soon as possible and move somewhere I'd prefer to live now, and sometimes I feel like it after she goes off on me for shit that has nothing to do with me. Is there a way to talk to her about our problems without her going on the defensive, and is this something that I should expect her to change? | Girlfriend gets defensive and condescending when I talk to her about problems we have; I need something to change |
t3_4jbb8j | relationships | Me [18 M] with my prom date [17 F] 1 month relationship. Nothing defined. We got nothing to talk to each other about. | I asked my 8th grade crush to junior prom. I don't have any classes with her but I saw her sometimes at random events briefly. I asked her to prom, and then decided to put in a date where we just hung out, but we had nothing to talk about. We just had little in common. She's very nice and she's a great person but I feel like whenever I'm not talking, nobody's talking. We don't have anything to say to each other, and I just don't want to become an exclusive item with her, but we never defined our relationship or anything like that. I don't want to just never contact her again, but I feel like I need to make sure she knows we aren't going to be an item. What do I do? | Me and my prom date don't have anything to talk to each other about and I want to break up but I don't know if we are even exclusive. |
t3_1k4u7t | dating_advice | Getting mixed signals - did i respond correctly? [25m] | So this girl i've been chatting with for a while finally seemed like she was giving me an in (had previously been to movies with her and hung out together in public places - never alone) and we were going to meet up and go somewhere for the day. Well she ended up flaking on me and for the past few weeks i've been generally confused about her demeanor around me. Its been on and off - at certiain times she gives off a feeling that she is interested other times it just seems like nothing. The mixed signals have been fucking with my head big time.
In the past she told me she needed time before she was ready to start dating again, so i held off and stayed in contact with her but didnt try to pursue dating her, so i thought this was finally her giving me a hint. Well after she flaked on todays plans I was a bit fed up. I just came out and asked her directly "are you interested in me or not - if you arent you can jsut say so. If theres not a mutual attraction and its all me just say so" - My rational behind is that I dont want to continue investing emotional time into something that isnt going anywhere and is all one sided (from me).
I havent gotten a response back from her yet because she flaked on me today i had to do this over the phone - which i was really hoping to avoid. My question is - am i in the wrong here by coming off and asking her to be direct about what shes thinking in regards to the possibility of something between us? | girl giving mixed signals about getting together, flakes on plans, ask her to be direct about if she has feelings towards me, am i a dick for asking her to be direct and putting her on blast? |
t3_3cr5gt | offmychest | I had a little too much fun taking the SATs until.... | So I posted this somewhere else then saw this and decided to post it here, too.
A couple of months ago I took the SATs for the first time. I wore baggy sweat pants with huuuge pockets so I would be comfortable during the test. I finished one of the sections early with about 10 minutes left and get this bright idea. I had read on someones bucket list that they wanted to masturbate in public and thought it was a novel idea. I was pretty close to my period and was pretty horny because of that. So i reach into my pocket and start rubbing one out. Remind you, these are fairly big sweatpants and I'm a petite girl so you could barely see anything moving.
About 5 minutes later I start feeling close when the proctor starts walking around the class. I start flipping my pages around to make it look like I'm doing something and take a peak at the next section. I see that the next section is the same exact thing I was just doing, passage reading. Thats when I see the little stop sign at the bottom of the page.
I had not actually finished early and just THOUGHT I did because I had finished the previous passage. There was about 2 minutes left in the time slot and had to skip nearly half of a section on the SATs because I was masturbating. I ended up getting a pretty low score on that section and I will probably take it to my grave. | Started masturbating during the SATs, ended up skipping a few pages and got a low score. Didn't finish in either respect. |
t3_uz4ln | AskReddit | Reddit, your thoughts on being rewarded for your grades in school? | I know this may make me seem like a conceited a-hole, but i get really mad when, not to be mean or anything, dumb people get rewarded by their parents for doing decent in school. Side note: im not poor, im very well off, just bear with me until im done. Anyways, i do very well in school: i achieve high nineties (95 and up) and have a hundred in two classes (math and german, which is a language i did not know prior to the course), and i have never received anything for doing well in school. When i hear about people getting new $1,000 laptops for getting an 80 average, it really grinds my gears. The thing that pisses me off the most is not the fact that they are getting really cool gifts for doing "bad" (80 is bad in my books), but that their parents think this is the right thing to do to motivate their kids. in the long run, they're going to get too used to getting gifts and then will only work/ try if a reward is offered to them. So reddit, what are your thoughts, stories, or opinions on this? | kids who do bad in school get expensive gifts. I do amazing in school and get nothing. I'm not poor, I'm wealthy, this just aggravates me. Is this bad parenting? Does this bother you? Any stories or opinions? |
t3_3vt6j2 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [24 F] of 5 years. She wants a break for a month during the Christmas season. What to do? | My girlfriend and i have been together for a while. Recently she has been unhappy with a few things in the relationship and a few occurrences in the past year that culminated into her asking for a break. I got the blame for everything even though we were both to blame for the lack of communication in our relationship. She also took some advice from her sisters and one of them has gradually grown to dislike me over time and pits me into competition with her own boyfriend for her fathers attention, getting gifts, trips etc. I didn't entertain it and focused on myself, but it has brought us to this.
I was against the idea of a break but it was a choice between a break or permanent break up and after back and forth discussions and not wanting to throw 5 years down the drain i thought i would go on the break. She said she wanted it to be for a month. Fine.
Problem is that it is this month. I am not sure whether to get her and her family Christmas presence, birthday gifts, cards etc. I have never been in a situation like this before.
What are your thoughts on breaks in relationships?
Am i within my rights to say that i want nothing to do with her sister from now own?
Should i get the family the presents like i have done for the duration of our relationship?
For those of you who have gone through breaks how did you cope? How did it turn out at the end? | Problems in our relationship have culminated into us taking a break for a month in December. Do i get presence, cards etc for her and her family? What are your thoughts on breaks in relationships? |
t3_34kqat | tifu | TIFU in the shower. (Maybe NSFW) | I take about 4-5 showers a week, which means I masterbate 4-5 times a week. Oddly enough even if I sleep with someone I still end up masterbating in the shower.
Anyway, the regular routine goes smoothly and I proceed to begin the last phase. I completely forgot we bought a brand new shower head and handle, and when sweet release came I leaned my back against the wall.
(We used to have a knob but now it's an actual handle that you would turn instead of twist.)
Water hot enough to give Satan pause comes gushing down on me. In my attempt to fix the situation, turn the shower head, and shut the water off, I smacked the shower head a little to roughly and knocked it off. So now I have a fire hose of what felt like lava raining down on me, and I finally managed to jump out of the shower bringing the shower curtain with me.
Overall it's not the worst fuck up you'll read, but it shows how great I am when things get heated. | Satan pee'd on me. |
t3_1crjoq | relationships | I [M18] sometimes just want to destroy my relationship with her [G18], why? | So I met this girl a about 3 months ago, started "dating" for the last month. She isn't sure whether she wants to date me or not or even if we are a thing or anything. We make out and sex too but at social gatherings it seems she won't associate herself with me. She sometimes tells me that my girlfriend is going to love all the things I've learned from her and it hurts me because I really like this girl and wish that she was my girlfriend. Sometimes I have the urge to tell her that I'm dating somebody and just ruin things between us because this uncertainty makes me sad and nervous. | Not sure where I stand with this girl, I want to destroy things with her sometimes even though I like her. |
t3_22tewg | tifu | TIFU By Getting Addicted to Sound Editing | I wanted to perfect some pieces of music for my new DS MP3 player, so I searched for some MP3 editing software online. Because I have a Mac (a TIFU for another day), I could only find one decent looking program. I downloaded the free version and set to work.
Soon, I was getting the hang of the program. Once I finished the work I had set out to do, I decided to try making some epic mixes. I started pulling music from my library, cutting the best parts out, and cutting, pasting, and mixing until it all flowed perfectly. I nearly cried listening to the beauty I had created.
Then I went to save, and the demo fucking timed out on me. I lost around two hours worth of work, and now I can't continue my new passion. At least I have my previous works.
Thus ended my career as a DJ. | Made an epic mix, demo timed out, no saves for me. |
t3_23sp7q | relationships | I (24/f) get treated terribly at work but my manager (30's/m) doesn't ever defend me. | I work in a virtual office environment. Not only are the customers dealt with solely online but so is my manager/boss. I've been working here for about a year. I'm a virtual assistant. The customers I deal with are either sweet or complete assholes. Normally I deal with it pretty well but I had one lately that made me want to quit.
To sum up my job, I have to do errands for customers. Some are in person. Some are online. This task was online. He didn't like the outcome, which really didn't have anything to do with me. He asked me to buy him tickets. The ticket he wanted was sold out so I had to get him his second option. He berated me for it. Well, that's what happens when you buy the ticket the day of the event, right?
So anyway, he demands a refund. I get paid per errand. Fine. Whatever. Unfair, but it happens. However, right before I processed the refund, he sent me a scathing email saying how I better watch my work, refund him or else he will get me fired, do better next time, do this right and he'll pretend this never happened. He threatened me, made a sexist remark, and made a winky/lovey emoticon.
I sent an email to my manager explaining what happened and he sent me a nasty reply saying how it doesn't matter.
I don't know what to do. I'm freelance. I'm currently on bed rest for a health condition. I can't really find any other work. I have no degree. I want to continue working here, but I feel like the way I'm treated is unfair. I was treated poorly on a few other occasions and I wasn't backed up. I don't know if I should approach my manager or go to corporate.
Any suggestions? I don't know how to fix this relationship with my manager or if I should just forget it and go to HR. | Manager doesn't back me up when customers treat me poorly. |
t3_2xisot | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M] for 2 years, need advice on future with him. | i have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 2 years and we are pretty good together, we've talked about marriage and all that.
My boyfriend is a great guy but he doesn't seem to be interested in me if I'm not being "perfect"
This upsets me because I do everything for him, I'll do anything he asks and I constantly obsess over making him happy (can't help it, I'm a natural pleaser).
I've molded myself into the perfect girlfriend. I will do all of his hobbies and sacrifice all of mine just to keep him happy. We talked about it, and how I should be myself more but every time I try he doesn't seem to like the "new" me. So then I just end up going back to being his perfect girl. I feel like I'm alway trying harder in the relationship.
What should I do? Do I keep going on like this? | molded myself into the perfect girlfriend, but it's not "me", now don't know what to do with boyfriend |
t3_3q5nfa | relationships | I [25 M] got drunk and had oral sex with a man without my GF [24 F] of 2 years knowing and don't know what to do | I've been bi-curious for the last few years but hadn't acted on it until last night. I feel absolutely terrible about it and am not sure what to do.
My girlfriend is away for the weekend and last night I got drunk and then messaged somebody from Craigslist. After a few emails I went over to his house and we had brief oral sex. It only lasted a few seconds and I left immediately after feeling terrible. There was no attraction beyond curiosity and can say that I'd never like to repeat the experience.
I'm filled with guilt today, I couldn't eat and then almost threw up when I finally did.
My girlfriend gets home tomorrow and I'm not sure how to handle it. I love her so much and aside from this we have a strong relationship. | I had anonymous oral sex with a man while my girlfriend is away and feel horrible about it |
t3_k53d7 | self | I don't have friends on purpose. Has anyone been through this? | Even though I prefer being by myself (or with my SO), I'm embarrassed to admit it because I know it's not "normal" and am afraid it's not healthy. Has anyone gone through this? What were your reasons for purposefully becoming friendless? And what did you do to fix it? ...or are you still happily forever alone?
Back story: Up until I was about 23, I was very social. I had a huge circle of friends and a couple very close/best friends that I loved spending time with. However, in the past few years, I've slowly removed myself from all my friendships. I currently don't have any close friends - only work friends and my SO (we've been together for 10 yrs and have a great relationship).
I don't have any problems making friends; in fact, I find that I regularly have to decline invites and/or avoid people so that I don't have to hang out with them. I even have old friends that have been trying to reach me and I just ignore their calls/texts. I know that this is wrong and I feel horrible and guilty for doing it. But I don't want to lie to them nor do I want to admit my strange behavior. I have pushed myself many times over the last few years to socialize and hang out with different people (some of them were great/interesting people), but I always end up feeling like it's a chore.
I do have anxiety and chronic back pain which I know is part of the problem, but I feel they are minor contributors. So why do I like being alone so much? Is it a phase, am I being selfish, or do I have some serious defect I need to have checked out?? Thanks for any help you can provide. | I like the fact that I don't have friends |
t3_3bbglv | personalfinance | Advice on financial stability after relocating at 19? | I am a sophomore college student currently enrolled at a private university in New York with the intent to major in finance and economics. I have made the decision to change my life by moving to California for the continuation of my academic career and finding a new place to call home. I plan on applying to several colleges but have placed the highest focus on getting in to UCLA. My question for you however is advice on how to keep this transition from hurting my financial outlook. I am currently working full time for a temp agency which places me doing jobs in different factories/warehouses. I'm getting $10 an hour and trying to use this for an inside look into industry and manufacturing processes. The current job they have me on is an engine parts inspector for GM. I have about $1,000 in savings and $1,700 in equities. I pay a $133 car bill and plan on working during this academic year to save even more for the move. My parents give me $1,000 each semester towards school and i have a $23,000 scholarship. My current college however is very expensive and I still have $20k in loans after the first year. Any information or anecdotes you have would be great. | 19 studying finance in college, moving from New York to LA to attend UCLA or another UC school with intent to live there after. Best advice to manage expenses during move? |
t3_29ange | tifu | TIFU By grabbing the wrong towel | I was in the bathroom in my home earlier TODAY and was shaving my head to maintain conformity with the regulations of the Canadian Military and had a blue towel on the floor to catch falling hair. I also had another towel of the same color beside it to use in my shower right after I was done with my hair.
I hopped in the shower as soon as I was finished and starting rubbing shampoo into my now peach-like head. It was then that I got shampoo in my eyes and in my semi-blind and fully panicking state reached out of the shower, onto the floor, and picked up my towel to wipe the shampoo out of my eyes with...
You can all guess which towel I grabbed. | I wiped a towel full of my freshly shaved hair into my eyeballs |
t3_xh91k | AskReddit | What asshole behavior have seen in your pets? | There are 6 dogs that roam my yard, all abused rescues and each with their own issues. Normally they all get along perfectly but there is one dog in this yard that we shall hence forth call Asshole.
Imagine sleeping soundly at 3am having a great dream about some hot person and a sneaky dog climbs up onto the bed, gets right up in your face and barks as loud as he can. You bolt up to see him sitting there looking smug and wanting a doggy treat. Asshole.
You're sitting in the kitchen and he goes to stand right next to the unlocked doggy door. He makes some noise and waits for you to look at him then calmly stands and lifts his leg and pisses on the wall. He then sits and supervises as you clean up his mess and calmly trots outside when you are done. ASSHOLE!
Well today I was out in the yard weeding when I look up to see Asshole hanging out on the porch of my split level right next to Bouncer, the blind Pomeranian. Looking me dead in the eye he uses his body and slams into Bouncer, sending him flailing off the porch and onto the sidewalk. Some part of me wonders if this is a threat to me specifically or if he's just evil. | One of my dogs may be plotting my death. |
t3_10y2ey | relationships | Do people get back together? [m 20] [f19] | Ok so I'll try to make this story as short as possible without leaving out the important details (I'm a 20 year old male, she's 19).
We dated for like a year, I was her first everything and it was awesome. She wanted to break up after a year and a half and it was that thing where we break up then get back together the next day and so on for a couple of months till it became definite. Somehow afterthat however we still knew we were still gonna get back together, I said no friends, she said friends with benefits and tried to meet somehwere in the middle.
For like six months, I stood my ground of no friend out since we loved each other so much, we kept trying to figure out a compromise (she always said, as soon as you're ready to do friends with benefits we'll get back together"). After a while she eventually hooked up with two guys (not slept with) and yet we still love each other and now we're in college together.
Cut to now, we're basically best friends, it is clear I want more and she does not yet there's still physical attraction and love. I bluntly asked if she thought there was still any scenario in which we got together and she said, if we drift apart then become friends again, maybe it'll be like starting over. I feel like my options are either that or keep on being best friends and see if things escalate, perhaps when we're doing homework in bed, or at a party her guard will be lowered and she'll kiss me or something and eventually things might happen.
Lastly, to clarify, she still loves me and likes me, last time we did something was 3 weeks ago (so not that long ago) and she also said today that she's sure we'll end up hooking up at some point, but that it'll be one off things (even if multiple times) but it probably won't be the beginning of a relationship nor friends with benefits, the two things I want.
I guess my question is, (and the | ) can we get back together, is one option better than the other? help!? all help is very much appreciated, thanks |
t3_33uxen | relationships | My [19M] girlfriend [18F] of 7 months, is adding my friends on facebook and talking to them randomly and it's making me uncomfortable | Earlier this morning, we just got done with a long conversation about how we need to give eachother more space, and about 20 minutes ago she just got done talking with my friend for a while after she initiated conversation, she's added about 3 of my friends for no reason since they have no common interests, and this is the first time shes done this. I just feel like she's suffocating me a bit and im gonna be left with nothing thats just mine if that makes sense, i added one of her friends a while back and she said she was pissed off about that, but she's gone and done it three times and actually talked to them, and it's on the same day we agreed to just give eachother a bit of room to breathe. I could really use a second opinion here, as I am currently a little stressed with some assignments I have to do so maybe that's making me feel this way | I feel like my girlfriend isn't respecting my life outside of our relationship by talking to my friends on facebook, after I know if i did that with her she wouldnt like it |
t3_129mo6 | relationships | I, [34M] feel hope again with my old flame. Advice needed | Long story very short, I dated this girl nearly a decade ago and it went south and I never got over her.
Details upon request but I assumed it was done and that I was fucked for life.
Thanks to my creeper ways and general scumbaggery I discovered tonite she moved to where I thought she had but is (hopefully) divorced.
I have her facebook, now what do I do? This is really a life or death for me. It's been killing me for nearly a decade, ruined my life, etc. I can go into the why, but to me it doesn't matter because I just want her back. And I'm willing to do anything to make it happen. I'm not kidding about anything, I'm dead serious. She is and will be my happy ending. Or the end, she is that worth it. | possible second chance with my soul-mate and need advice! |
t3_29r2xf | tifu | TIFU by fighting too well. | Last night at a Martial arts class. Practicing our grappling, me and another guy squared off. I managed to get in close enough to hip throw him, he landed on his back with me on top of him. We scrambled and I ended up taking his back. I got my legs hooked around his and snuck in a rear-naked choke. He somehow managed to stand up with me still on his back.
Then he blacked out with 155 lbs of me on his back. He fell and I landed awkwardly on my neck. Now it hurts, I'm icing it, and I'm probably gonna have to miss a few classes now... | I choked out my partner in martial arts grappling while he was standing. He fell, I landed on my neck, and I'm contemplating going to the hospital |
t3_1ic7yx | personalfinance | To recent grads with decent/good credit looking to apply for a credit card with better perks... | Recently I started a discussion about looking for a credit card with better perks. (Previously I had been using a card through a credit union) I was lead to this great site:
I was about to apply for a rotational perk credit card, when I got a phone call from my parents saying American Express had sent me mail about pre-approval and signing up for a credit card, citing a $250 cashback for spending $1000 in the first 3 months. I'm assuming I got this mail because credit card companies target graduates who have decent/good credit like myself. Normally, I would've pitched the mail in the trash but I was looking for a credit card, so why not. I did a quick online search and found that the regular offer was $100 cashback for spending $1000. The mail offer was an extra (significant) 15% reward on a card I was already contemplating getting. I signed up. | Every situation is different, but just wanted to let people know that there may be better credit card signup deals than what is posted online. |
t3_3t1vq8 | relationships | I [19f] need advice on how to genuinely connect with people | So lately I've been feeling rather lonely and after some time thinking I came to the conclusion that I can't connect with people. I'm a sophomore in college in one of the largest universities in the state (~52,000) and somehow I'm unable to talk/develop relationships with people. I have a handful of friends, but even during the times I'm around them I feel like something is missing, like I'm not being honest or myself and so the people my friends like is not who I am at all.
I've been in several failed relationships, the crazies seem to flock to me. And it's fucked with my self-esteem a little. I recently ended a really toxic LDR and I'm happy and confident with my decision. I have joined dating sites since then and I get responses, but when I try to talk to those people, I don't get anywhere. I don't know if I'm boring or they're busy, I just never seem to click with them. I've tried meeting people in person and the same thing. Sometimes I feel like people deliberately ignore me or shut me out of conversations when I'm around.
I don't know what to do. I'm a very social person but I think now that maybe that's just a façade. Any tips? | need advise on how to be myself around others because I can't make genuine connections. |
t3_15k4qb | tifu | TIFU by giving head to someone who had just ejaculated. | I'm just going to start off by saying that I do kegel excersizes for fun, so when I bang, I can make my vajayjay pretty clenched up.
Anyway, so I am getting it on with this guy and it is awesome and after a little I think, "hey maybe I should go down on him for a little"...the weird thing is, he is a little soft, so I think, okay okay, maybe the minute it took to get him off of me and in position for the dick suckage was enough for him to get turned off. So I try to get him hard by giving him a blowjob. Doesn't really work, it's just getting softer!
I don't judge anyone for what their junk does so I just decide to lay back down for a nap, but he starts kissing my vajayjay (which I might add is quite hairy so wtf) which is an unexpected treat.
After a little bit, we bang again and then we start talking (I live in China and we are speaking Chinese) he says that I am tighter than many girls and that he couldn't control himself and hold it in.
So...he like...stealth came (seriously how did I not notice...I mean, he pulled out -please don't yell at me about sex practices because I already feel like a fuck up enough right meow- so of course I wouldn't feel it...but he didn't make like...any noise coming).
But then I was getting back into sleep mode and I felt some sticky stuff on the blanket...a little gross. Just a little gross. | Kegled my way into supreme sex and blew a flaccid dick. |
t3_4t3b7b | relationship_advice | Is he [24/m] into me or am I making myself [21/f] look stupid? | My crush a small comment weeks back about me texting a "boyfriend" as if to test if I were single. He'll look at me but his eyes will dart away quick. Lately, he will act like I'm invisible, like he goes out of his way to act like that.. When I make eye contact he'll hold it for a few seconds then snap away. He grabbed my hand to look at my tattoo, and grabbed it again when I pulled away to hold it up and ask me about it..
He's so confusing. Im a pretty girl and people say he is probably just intimidated. I come off as pretty shy since I mirror his behavior, and he makes me nervous, but I do make eye contact when I can and smile when we do sometimes... | Is he into me? I have a massive crush but don't wanna make myself look like a fool. |
t3_9zdn4 | AskReddit | Tried online dating. Met a cool girl. She turned out to be overweight. What to do? | I'm looking for some advice or stories of others experience. I'm a late 20's programmer. I don't have a lot of time or interest in hitting bars or similar pickup spots. So, I decided to try online dating. I met a girl, and we hit it off via email, text message, etc. Her pictures looked very nice (proabably 7 or 8 out of 10), so I was excited to meet her. So, after a couple of weeks of getting to know each other and dealing with scheduling issues, we set a date to meet.
To make a long story short, her face was pretty much as her pictures, but she was much heavier than I thought. I don't mean she needed to lose 10-20 pounds. I couldn't just walk away at that point, so I figured I would just exit after dinner and write the night off. Well, she turned out to be really fun, and we hit it off pretty well.
I like her, but the weight is a pretty big turn off. She has said that she's been going to the gym for a few months and is working on getting in shape. My question is, is it worth getting in before the renovation, so to speak? I think she might be very attractive, if she lost the weight, but that will take months. Should I talk to her about the weight? I could break it off, but, I'm a little reluctant, as I see potential for us, if this could be overcome.
Have any of you had a similar experience? How about talking to a wife/gf about her weight in general? | Met girl online. She turned out to be fat, but there is a spark. What to do? |
t3_1iccix | relationships | Boyfriend (19M) broke up with me (18F) last night. Completely devastated. | so I'm a freshman in college now and he's gonna be a sophomore, we started dating the summer when I was a junior. he goes to Brown which is about 6 hours away from where we live so we had a long distance relationship for the entire school year. we were completely in love with each other. we imagined being together forever, growing old, having kids, adopting dogs, everything. this summer when he came home things were great until about a month ago when he admitted that he was having second thoughts as to whether I was "the one" for him. I told him that was fine as long as he loved me and he said he did and we were fine for a couple weeks. he hadn't been his usual mushy self lately and I've been super stressed about it as I love him with 100% of my heart. but last night, he finally told me that he just didn't feel like he was in love with me anymore even though he still really liked spending time with me. we are both interns in my area and his work is a 45 minutes drive from his house so he's going to keep staying over at my house some weekdays while we're both working so it's less of a drive for him. we are best friends and neither of us want to stop being friends. we've agreed to keep our relationship for the sake of my parents (strict chinese, they LOVE him) and because I don't have many friends in my town (I've moved around a lot) and I'm afraid of being alone. I know us seeing each other isn't healthy at all but I really don't know what to do. we're going to "officially" break up when college starts but until then we're stuck in this strange situation where we'll still see each other but we won't be boyfriend/girlfriend. I kind of knew this was going to happen eventually I think, but it still doesn't help the fact that my heart is broken and I feel so incredibly sad. | basically my boyfriend who I love very much broke up with me because he didn't love me anymore and now we're still going to see each other as just friends and I just don't know how to feel better. |
t3_fem41 | AskReddit | My gma is a bit of a 'curmudgeon', does that mean that she should be ignored on her birthday? | I have been taking care of my gma for a number of years. Her birthday was yesterday, so I gave her a call. I made sure her present, a new recliner, arrived...asked how she was, the usual daily call. I asked her if anyone else from the family called her, and she said no...
Now...this woman is...cantankerous on a good day. I am pretty much the only person left that visits or talks to her...but she is still a person. She still has feelings no matter how cranky and ornery she can get.
Am I being overly sensitive *for* my gma? Should I just be happy knowing that she has me in her life and I do care? Or should I call out her other grandkids for being insensitive? MAYBE THEY DIDN'T KNOW you might say...and that is also true...some part of me feels that future is all too real and it may be me one day alone with no one to call me or see how I am doing.
I do know that her pain and sadness is not fair... | my gma didn't get any bday love from fam, should I keep being emo about it |
t3_4sjhag | relationships | I [18F] am petrified about telling my parents [40s F, 50s M] I'm moving in with SO [20M] of two years. | So, you've probably heard this before. I'm going away for college. It's just a state away, but my Dad in particular is very disappointed. It wouldn't matter if I had been accepted into an Ivy League; he's furious and scared about me moving away, period. My parents are Christians, and they absolutely disagree with premarital sex and living together before marriage.
I made my decision to attend Out of State U for many reasons. Rest assured that they are good ones, and the point is this: I'm going to Out of State U.
I've set up housing for this fall, a 2/2 with a roommate I met while visiting my college (Roomie) and my boyfriend Jack. We've signed the lease, submitting the deposit within the week.
My parents love my boyfriend, don't get me wrong; he stays with my family when he visits (he lives in the Out of State U state), spends time with them, etc. And they love me, too. But they will be disappointed and my Dad will potentially be even angrier with me once I tell them. They continue pestering me to tell them how I'm being housed for fall because they want to know I'm taken care of. I understand that completely.
Jack will be transferring to Out of State U from his current college, and I'm registered for classes / ready to go for fall. We're moving in together. It's true that we've talked about marriage for the future, but we aren't in a financially ready place to do that right now. So living together to minimize cost and assure we've at least got each other in a crazy move and life in general is the best option...especially over me choosing random roomies in some apartment somewhere.
I don't know how to tell them, and I want their approval. I'm perfectly ready to make the move without it, but if there is any way I could communicate this to them without sounding like an idiot, rash teenager... I'd love to know. Please help. | I'm going out of state, boyfriend Jack and I moving in together, I don't know how to tell my Christian parents without potentially losing one of them. How can I do that? |
t3_1ay8se | relationship_advice | [22/m] My Girlfriend (21/f) has too many plushies and dolls, freaks me out | My girlfriend collects a lot of pokemon plushies. She's very involved with hunting them down and is part of a community that sells them online. Which is all fine. I like pokemon too. But for some reason I just cannot get over the plushies. Now we recently discussed living together and she would want to put all these plushies that she barely cares about in our bedroom, and that idea just unsettles me so much. Like I'm sleeping in a little girls room. She also recently took up collecting monster high dolls.
It makes me feel like she is a child still. She used to be really into Victorian things and dresses and more ... classy things when I met her. Kind of feel like she regressed into a child with these plushies and dolls now. I'm fine with living with girly things, but not with these.
Am I being crazy or do I have a point for myself at least? | GF collects too many pokemon plushies and monster high dolls. Childish and freaks me out |
t3_4yqfbi | relationships | I [21M] am getting VERY mixed signals from a girl [21F] I like. I have no idea what to do. | I know this is a very small issue compared to a lot of other posts, but it would be great if someone could show me my next move. I can also elaborate more on the backstory and problem, but I think this information is sufficient.
Backstory:
ok so it starts pretty classic. I like a girl who I went to high school with, but we barely spoke with each other back then, because she is fairly shy and also had a boyfriend at the time. I havent seen her since we graduated 2 years ago until recently where I met her briefly at a bar with her friends. The day after I wrote to her on Facebook and she seemed very talkative and wrote long messages about a lot of stuff. The conversation lasted for about a week, where she told me the relationship with her exboyfriend had been bad for her, and she had anxiety problems about what people thought of her.
Problem:
After a week of smooth conversation I asked if she wanted to go out for a cup of coffee. She told me she really wanted to, and though it did sound very exciting she refused and said it was a very bad time for her right now. In my mind I'm ok with the refusal , even though I find it odd she is out at bars if she can't have a cup of coffee with a guy she has been speaking to for a week.
Back to the conversation, I replied to her with something along the lines of "it's alright, I just thought you were really interesting and wanted to get to know you better. If it's not a good time - no problem.
She still hasn't replied to this message and it's been 2 days. I don't know what to do. Should I ask her out again next week? Is this a polite way of saying no?
I need help Reddit. | girl I like stops answering me after she seems interested in meeting. |
t3_utvj1 | AskReddit | Would you date someone you *really* liked despite the fact that they had genital herpes? | When I first met my boyfriend 5 years ago, he confessed to me that he had contracted genital herpes from an ex-girlfriend. I appreciated his honesty, and the fact that he was ok with a relationship without sexual intercourse or receiving bj's (for fear that I might contract it myself). Eventually however, I began to believe that he was my "soul mate" (if you will) and that we would eventually get married and live happily ever after and so we finally started having unprotected sex. I (of course) contracted the genital herpes myself. Yes, it bothered me that I had herpes but I understood (or so I thought) what I was getting into and I don't blame him for giving it to me because I made the conscious decision as a consenting adult. I believed it to be worth it just so I could express what two lovers should when making love. Now it's 3 years later and I have found that even though we love each other to pieces, we no longer have a healthy relationship (constant fighting that leads to physical violence sometimes) and I no longer want to be with him. My concern however, is this; No man is going to want to be with someone who has genital herpes. I wouldn't even blame them for it. Society tends to look down on people who have genital herpes because it's "disgusting" and women with herpes tend to be seen as "sluts". And even if I did find such a man, a relationship can only go on for so long successfully without sex. I am not asking whether or not I should stay with my current boyfriend, but basically if you (this question is open to either gender) would date someone you *really* liked despite the fact that they had genital herpes. Furthermore, would you have sex with them? Would you be ok with using a condom for the entirety of your relationship (however long that may be - a few months to the rest of your life)? | I got genital herpes from my long-term boyfriend and now want to break up because we no longer have a healthy relationship. Do I still have a shot at dating? |
t3_hvxa1 | AskReddit | Help, I'm being fucking robbed | Early last year I signed an open ended agreement with a gym in my area. I work offshore so in the agreement it stated that I could freeze and unfreeze indefinitely due to me being gone 4-6 weeks at a time. While I was offshore over the winter holidays the gym I attended closed down, and the financial institution that handled their contracts signed me over to a gym 15 miles away from the gym I previously attended without even contacting me. Here's where it gets worse.
When they moved they informed me that my contract was year long. After some squabbling, I paid roughly 300 dollars and followed their procedures to cancel via instructions of one of their representatives. I was told to mail off some information and include my intent to cancel agreement. I did all that was asked of me. Come this month, they attempted to charge my account again. When I called them, they stated they received my notice, but it had to be certified mail and they started me into an open-ended contract, though the previous instructions include no details of that nature. I spoke to another representative who said they did not receive my mail, but that I could send it via regular mail or certified mail.
What the hell can I do to make this stop? If i tell them to fuck off, they hit my credit. If i pay them, they'll continue to do this.
More information that might be useful (or maybe not so useful in my case)
* I lost my copy of the contract
* I have documented proof of my paying the remaining amount of the contract
* I have the email from their first representative giving me the full instructions to cancel my account. | To work offshore you must love money and cock. |
t3_1uu8dt | relationships | My [19/F] boyfriend [19/M] boyfriend is going it with his friends on my birthday and not me, am I right to be upset? | It is my birthday this Saturday and it is my boyfriends birthday this Monday. We have been going out for about 4 months. He said that he would take me out to dinner on Saturday but just texted me and asked if we could have lunch on Saturday instead. I told him maybe but I am not sure because I am rushing for a sorority this week and do not have control of my schedule so I may be busy during lunch Saturday and would let him know. He said fine and said that Saturday night he is going out with his friends because it is a bunch of their birthdays in a similar time period to celebrate and I am not invited. I know for sure rush will be over at 7 so we could have easily hung out but now he's doing this instead.
Is it fair for me to be kind of upset about this? I understand it is his birthday 2 days later and wants to celebrate with his friends, but I am kind of hurt that he doesn't seem to care about spending the day with me. There is also a good chance I won't be able to have lunch with him so I won't be able to see him all day Saturday. Saturday was also the first day I was supposed to see him and I haven't in a month because of winter break and we live really far away from each other.
I feel like I might be kind of selfish here but I am really hurt at the idea that he doesn't really seem to care about spending the day with me and making my birthday special. I don't want to mention it to him though because I feel like it will just make him hang out with me instead which he doesn't really seem to consider his priority. Am I justified in being upset here? | boyfriend probably will not see me on my birthday because he is going out with his friends instead to celebrate his birthday 2 days later. Am I right to feel sad or is this just selfish of me? |
t3_1f54mn | Pets | Couple of questions about fleas that I couldn't find answers to on past posts | So, my dog has fleas. As soon as we saw one (about 3 weeks ago) we went out to buy some Frontline. We live in a rural area, and it was getting late and everything was closing. We were able to make it to the last store that was open and they were out of Frontline. When I first moved into my apartment it was infested with fleas, and it was such a pain to get rid of them, so I was desperate to start treatment right away. So we bought Hartz, as it claimed to have the same active ingredient as Frontline.
Surprise, surprise, Hartz didn't work. After doing research, I found that it could be potentially dangerous as well. Well, we are in the process of moving and between preparing for paying double rent and security deposit, we finally scrimped enough to buy Advantix II. It should arrive tomorrow.
So my questions, this dog has had fleas for 3 weeks (that we know of), do we need to treat the house? It's troublesome as we do not have a washer/dryer. It costs me 6.50 just to wash one blanket at our local laundry mat. I noticed a few bites on my leg, but only one leg. And the dog was laying that same leg for a few hours.
I was thinking just put the dog on Advantix. When we move into our new house we will have a washer and dryer (move in date is June 7th). If we just wash everything as we bring it into the new house, will we be OK? If there is a chance of infestation, I don't want to leave the apartment infested as my roommate is still staying here. I vacuum religiously and am going to start vacuuming the couch daily until we leave (the dog lays on the couch and the couch will be staying here). | dog has had fleas. Due to extenuating circumstances she isn't being treated with a topical treatment until approximately 3 weeks after first flea was noticed. Is my house infested? Can I wash everything as we move into a new house and keep our new house flea free? |
t3_1es953 | AskReddit | I don't know what to do. | I'm not very good at writing papers, so here goes it. Okay so I'm a sophomore in high school, and there is this girl I like, let's call her Jane, Jane likes me too. The thing is, my friends think she is a loser, a nerd, and she's ugly. I don't think any of those things are true, obviously, so my problem is, how do I make my approach? We really don't know each other, we have one class together and we don't talk much to eachother (she's also very shy). I stopped talking to her because I know this wont go anywhere, seeing as I could get ridiculed for liking her and since we rarely talk. I don't know what to do. | girl and I have a crush on eachother, we don't talk, people don't like her, what do I do. |
t3_1lra82 | relationships | Is it OK to watch sex tapes of my(m26) ex girlfriend (f25)? | So I have some sex tapes that were made when I was with my exgf, we broke up about 3 months ago. These aren't like great quality cinema, but damn she was hot and we had a really kickin' sex life when we were together with plenty of kink. Now she knows that I have these videos(and has her own copies) and has never said anything to the effect that she wants me to destroy them or anything, we had talks about potential harmful ramifications before we made any. So I really don't think she would have a problem with me watching them.
I have recently started dating another girl(f26) for about a month. I think she is very attractive and the few times we have had sex it was decent. Now I know that in order to get into good sex it generally takes some time to get used to each other and what not, and hopefully that is not too far down the road. She is a lot more conservative than my ex and not very open about sex, so I am pretty hesitant to even bring up anything mildly kinky this early.
At any rate I have still been watching some ex tapes for faptime occasionally and I don't know if this is inappropriate and encourages me to fantasize about my ex or if this is no big deal. | I occasionally watch sex tapes of my exgf, even though I am seeing a different girl now. Is this inappropriate or no biggie? |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.