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t3_m0o7c | AskReddit | If a teleporter were invented and shown to be "safe", would you use it? (Not as simple to me as it initially seemed) | After thinking about it for a while, I don't think I would do it, and here's why: after stepping into a teleporter, even if the rest of the world saw the person coming out of the other end as completely indistinguishable from the person going in, the second person would, by the definition of teleportation, have to be composed of different atoms and cells than the first person (I think otherwise it would just be very fast transportation of matter, is this right?). In that sense, it seems to me like the first person would inevitably die, in some sense, at the moment of teleportation (unless both copies of the person were kept).
Now I know almost none or none of the cells of my body are the ones that were originally there, but this seems somehow different. | I don't think there is a way for me to be teleported and not die in the process. What do you think? |
t3_stbrw | AskReddit | A genuine cry for help. | I'm 21. I'm fortunate enough to live off my parents right now as a full-time student. My 24yr old brother lives here too. I'm afraid I will not be able to finish school while living with him and he isn't going anywhere. I'm concerned about my education and future. Reddit, what can I do about this? I am no longer capable of maintaining this lifestyle and I don't know what to do. Please, this is literally a cry for help and I would like for it to be taken as one. I have some money saved up, but it's not enough to pay for my own place and I don't have an income anyways. My parents aren't going to pay for me to live anywhere else since we are relatively close to school. I live in California, btw, so life is expensive anyways. HELP, please! I want to repeat I am concerned about my education and future and that is the main drive for this post as I literally have no idea what to do (I just know something has to be changed). Thanks. | Cannot go to school and live at home at same time. No money (some savings). Now what? |
t3_davgr | self | Investing questions | OK, so, a little background. I'm looking to invest a small amount ($200-$300) in stocks but, as most university students, I'm clueless where to start. I'm not looking for big payouts or anything serious, I just want to (hopefully) make a little extra spending money. I've sets some limits for myself (if I go down to only $150 I'll pull everything out, that way the most I'll loose is $50-$150) but other than that I have no idea where to start. My parents aren't big on the stock market so they're no help, so I figured Reddit would be a good place to ask. Thanks in advance. | Want to invest money in stock, don't know how. |
t3_qdw92 | relationships | Unsure how to proceed slash have a normal grownup conversation | Hey all. I've been seeing this guy for a month. I'm 24f, he's 27m. At first, it was really awesome - he texted me and gchatted me all the time, we had great chemistry, etc. I did start noticing that he's extremely neurotic about being tired or feeling sick-- like every time I talk to him he will complain about some new ailment. A couple times he canceled plans on me at the last minute because he said he didn't feel well. Still, he kept contacting me and asking me to hang out, and because it was early on I didn't think much of it.
Last weekend he was texting me less, which I noticed but didn't mention. Out of nowhere he apologized for it. Last Friday, we hung out with his friends and had - I thought - a great time. He said his friends liked me.
This week he has still not really been in touch. I have been really busy performing in play that I've been working really hard on the last month. I told him I could get tickets if he wanted to see it, but he never followed up. He has also not once asked me how it is going, or told me good luck, or really been supportive at all. We had plans to hang out last night, but when I called him after our show to meet up, he said he didn't feel well and asked if we could hang tonight. I texted him tonight to see if he still wanted to hang out, and he responded that he wasn't in a good mood.
Reddit, how should I proceed? I really like him, but I feel like he is either A) not feeling it anymore and just being a pussy about dumping me or B) totally self centered and oblivious. Neither is appealing, but I do like hanging out with him... am I being idiotic? Should I end things? Or should I call him out and tell him that I feel unappreciated? What is a good way to start that conversation? | guy was into me, now he seems not to be, how do I either break up or call him out on being totally oblivious? barf |
t3_2td914 | relationships | Me [21 M] with a girl [20 F] I met recently. We go out, hit it off but the next day says she's not ready for a relationship. | I was at work on Monday when this girl comes to the register and we talk for around 30min and hit it off. Before she leaves she gives me her number and I text her the next day. Throughout the week we text a lot and have really long conversations. On Thursday I ask her out for a date on Sunday.
Sunday comes and we go out, hit a few places and then she takes me to her house. I didn't want to rush things so nothing happened but the date went really well. The next day, Monday, we're talking through text when out of nowhere she sends me longer text thanking me for everything, saying we really hit it off but she's not ready for a relationship but she'd like to still be friends.
What happened? Was it supposed to be a fling? Should I have gone through with it that Sunday night? | Meet girl Monday, go out Sunday, we have a great time, end up at her house but don't do anything. Next day says she's not ready for a relationship. Was I supposed to go through with it on Sunday? |
t3_2e6pn0 | relationships | Me [23 M] and my SO [23 F] of five years have just entered into an Open Relationship for the Next 10 months. I need advice. | Because of the circumstances of our relationship me and my SO have spent a significant amount of time apart. Every time we found ourselves apart for a significant period of time we decided to enter an open relationship. Now my SO is away for ten months volunteering with Americorps and we decided on letting eachother sleep with other people while she's away.
My SO and I think that having periods of sexual openness provides a healthy perspective on our relationship. It helps us maintain a healthy sex life and keeps us from resenting one another in the process. We try to maintain a non-possessive attitude with one another, and I think that it works well.
My main question is that while I have been in open relationships before I have never asked anyone about them. What are the unspoken rules of open-relationships, and when I should check myself before I risk leading other women along? I have no anxiety about the openness, but I do wonder how to deal with women I sleep with and the awkwardness that comes with explaining my open-relationship. How can I avoid crossing the line and hurting my SO? Above all I want to respect my SO, but the conditions of an open-relationship are pretty vague so I wanted to know what reddit thought. | I'm in an open-relationship for the next ten months and need advice on how to respect my SO and the various girls who I will be sleeping with. |
t3_26sipq | relationships | Online IQ test is ruining my [26M] polyamorous relationship [22F and 19F] | Reposting, as my previous submission was removed for external links.
A little background: I am a Dom in a polyamorous relationship with two lovely young submissive women, whom we'll call "Sarah" [22F] and "Jane" [19F]. Jane and I have been living together for three years, and Sarah moved in with us in January of this year. Everything has been going quite well, but an issue has just arisen in our relationship that is making me very concerned.
Whilst perusing the web on Tuesday night, I discovered an online IQ test. I am aware that most online IQ tests are inaccurate, but, having studied psychology, I knew that this test used the exact same types of questions as a professional IQ test. I decided to play a little game with my subs. They are very into psychological domination and humiliation, and I thought it would be erotic to dominate them intellectually by outscoring them on the IQ test. While they are bright girls, I had no doubt that my IQ would be higher than theirs. I had them take the test, and Sarah scored 128; Jane, 134. I took the test after them. However, to my chagrin, I scored 112.
This was, understandably, humiliating. Sarah and Jane didn't say anything. We continued on as usual afterwards, but these results aroused many doubts in the back of my mind. As a Dom, I demand total submission from my girls, and it is my responsibility to control them; I cannot do this if they are able to outsmart me. I am sure Sarah and Jane know this too. Although they have not disobeyed or disrespected me outright, I am picking up on small aspects of their behaviour that show a loss of respect for me. I am afraid that this could kill their attraction to me.
I am asking for advice from /r/relationships because BDSMcommunity has been disrespectful to me in the past; input from both BDSM and vanilla perspectives is welcome. I would like to know a way to mend the damage this has caused to our relationship. | IQ test showed that my IQ is lower than my subs', compromising my position as a Dom. |
t3_4gl5qx | relationships | Dating my Receptionist of my building, however landlord says she can't be seen in building after hours. What can I do? | Started dating my receptionist a few weeks back and she frequently comes up to my room after work. Things were going great with her but recently things have become difficult. It all started at a work party for which she was late to. Her manager asked her where she was and he assumed she was seeing somebody; she felt pressured to answer and told him it was me. He told her it was fine as long as we don't bring it to the front desk. This was not a problem on either of our parts.
However, a few days later he told her she can't be seen in the building after hours. His reasoning was that "it'll ruin the image of the building." The building I live in has a hotel on the bottom 4 floors and the 8 floors are private accommodations where I share a kitchen with 4 other people but have my own room. The thing is we don't make a public scene at all. Even when I pass her at reception I'll simply say hi and say bye. I respect the workplace!
I told her to talk him today and when she did he told her quite boldly its a no; she can't come up to my room after work or even on her days off. On top of that he told her that if I wanted to see her I can pay £ 20 for a hotel. One, she and I haven't even slept together. Two, I think what he said was completely out of order and absolutely none of his business. He has no rights making presumptions.
In addition, he has all the other staff keeping an eye on if she enters my room!
My thing is this, in my opinion he should have no right on who I bring into a room I rent and pay for. I went over the contract for the room and there is nothing preventing me from having "visitors." The only thing is I don't want her to lose her job. Also, I kinda don't want to leave the building wither but I won't let a manager on a power trip control me haha.
What do you guys think I should do? I was thinking about speaking to him personally but I'm not sure what to say. | Manager of my building is on a power trip and refuses to let the receptionist I am dating come up to my room after working hours. |
t3_2op96o | relationship_advice | I, (15/m) like a girl (16/f) and dont really know what to say to strike a conversation. Any help? | So, to start out I would like to share a bit of back story.
I met this girl last year, and we shared a gym class for the whole year. In this gym class we played volleyball on most days, and from this we would greet each other every day with just a little 'hi' or 'hey [inset name here]'
Fast forward to this year, turns out I don't have any classes with her, but when we do see each other around the school we share our normal greetings and go our separate ways. It also turns out we have the same lunch hour, and with this in mind I have been wanting to talk to her and get to know her better. When I see her around in lunch, she is sometimes with a friend, so I'm a tad hesitant on talking to her, and I don't really know what to say to strike up a conversation if I were to go over to her. Any help? | I like this girl who I've known for about a year now, but haven't actually tried talking with her, and now that I want to try, I don't really know what I should say to strike up a conversation with her. |
t3_4yywfj | Pets | New cat attempts to door dash (flee out the front door), meowing loudly | Hello. I recently adopted a rescue cat from the shelter (roughly 2 weeks ago). She is 2 years old and spayed. She is a wonderful cat and doesn't mind being picked up and loves to hang out and get lovies and petting.
However, there are a couple issues I'm worried about.
Firstly, this curious kitty is desperate to dash out of the door. She almost did this morning. We live in a busy area so I am terrified of her getting out. She is always curious of the door but attempts to "dash out" roughly 30% of the time.
Secondly, whenever one of her humans gets up from a sitting or laying position, she will meow, look at them, and lead them to her food bowl. Her bowl is full of dry food and her water is also full, but she just leads us there and then looks at us!
I'm really concerned because she meows very loudly (she's a vocal kitty) during the night and in the morning. If you get up, she will lead you to her food bowl again even if it's full.
We've tried getting her on wet food but she was not a fan, so we've been feeding her what the shelter gave us (what she's used to).
Has anyone else had these issues? Thanks to anyone who can help! | Cat wants to go outside and tries to door dash and also meows very loudly through the night and leads us to her full food bowl. What should I do? |
t3_3gv4rx | relationships | My [21/F] group project members [20's/M] aren't helping and it's due in a week- what should I do? | I posted this yesterday but people downvoted me so I'm trying again today for some actual answers. If you have nothing to contribute just move on.
Anyways, I am in a summer class and have a project due the 20th. The project requires a 45 minute interactive classroom experience and binder containing every single assigned step of the project we have completed. Neither of groupmates have contributed much of value this entire time, and anything they've done has had to be re-done. We had to bring in articles, and theirs were shitty/from bad sources, and neither of them sent me the links like I asked. We had to initially think of topics, and I had to come up with them all myself. We had to write one page summaries and send them to me, and neither of them have done it! I've been waiting since Tuesday!
It wouldn't be so horrible, but the 45 minute classroom experience can't be a powerpoint and must be original idea to let people be "immersed" in the topics rather than being taught them. What the fuck, I know. My group members keep saying to throw a party which isn't a project, and we eventually came up with the idea of skits but neither of them have done anything more than that.
I don't know what to do about this. I feel like if I don't do everything myself I'm going to get a bad grade (100 pts in the class, it's worth 30). However, I don't want them to just get a free ride. The one is friends with the professor and they are the type of extroverted guys that bullshit in person but don't follow through. I don't know how to handle this, can you guys give some suggestions? | My groupmates aren't pulling their weight and our project is due on the 20th, what should I do?!? It is too late to withdraw. |
t3_54kygo | legaladvice | My house doesn't have heat [Buffalo, NY] | It hasn't had heat since I moved in in May, but that wasn't a problem due to how hot it was out. My landlord keeps promising he'll put in a furnace soon but every time he says it'll be done "within 24 hours" he fails to do so. I'm planning on giving my 30 days notice (I'm a month-to-month tenant) Oct 1 and then moving out Nov 1. Do I have to pay my last month's rent if my house doesn't have heat?
Also, how do I give my landlord written notice if I don't have his address? He picks up the rent check from my house every month and won't give me a mailing address. | Landlord sucks, figuring out the notice process |
t3_3ckn7i | relationships | Me [22M] with my girlfriend [21F], She wants to move away for 6 months, talk some sense into me. | Me and my girlfriend have been together now for just over 5 months come tomorrow. I would say we have a pretty healthy and happy relationship, we get along really well and for the majority of things share the same interests and plans. I care about her very much and it feels like the feeling it mutual.
We're already in a long distance relationship (about an 1hour 30min drive between us) but have made it work relatively well and see each other most weeks. She's recently completed her degree at university and is now job hunting but unfortunately she has not had much luck, one of her friends from her university told her about a 6 months teaching assistant course going on in China starting in September. She applied to join and got accepted for it yesterday and later told me last night (It was the first I'd ever heard about it ~ no prior talking to before hand).
My feelings right now are all over the place. Part of me is extremely happy for her, because let's be honest this is an opportunity that doesn't come up often but the other part of me is extremely sad. I haven't spoken to her properly about this yet simply because I don't want to be that kind of guy that holds her back from something she wants to do and this is a conversation I'd rather have face to face but 6 months to me at least is a long time, especially considering I've only been with her for 5 months. I'm at a cross roads with myself aswell, deep down I don't want her to go and I'm also not entirely sure myself if I can last the time waiting for her even though that could be considered as selfish.
Maybe I'm overreacting? but right now I need to vent and see what others think of this. | Girlfriend wants to move away for 6 months, I have no clue what to think of it and if it will work. |
t3_i7arv | AskReddit | Does anyone have a Neurostimulation device implanted in them for chronic pain management? | The reason I ask is that my Mom is toying with having this procedure done (on the recommendation of her doctor). She has been suffering from RSD for about a year (see: ( after a doctor performed a cortisone injection into the bottom of her foot and hit a nerve instead of the intended spot. This is of course after multiple tests, medications, nerve block procedures and medications. The doctor finally told her, "I don't know what to do to help you". She thought she might have a pinched nerve and sought out her old physical therapist who actually told her that based on her swollen, red/hot/black veined feet, that she should be checked to see if she has RSD. After finding a specialist, she was correctly diagnosed. Basically the way her condition is explained, is that the damage to the affected area has set up a roadblock for all the pain impulses for her body. Since the pain impulses have nowhere to go, her brain is constantly receiving the message that she is in pain causing her symptoms.
This device, if it's successful on its external trial run for her, could alleviate her pain by 50-80%. If it helps her, the next step is to have it surgically implanted. I typically do not trust company 'testimonials' unless it's on a forum that the website does not have control over the content. Does anyone have this implanted? Did it help you? Were there any challenges you faced? | My mom has a neurological pain disorder and I want to know if a Neurostimulation device has helped anyone |
t3_dlgi0 | self | Can my employer change my job description without my consent? | Background: I have been in my position for 19 months. I was asked into a meeting today where my direct manager asked if I would be interested in a move to a different team in our office. They have not been able to fill a position and I have been a proven performer so it seems that they are fed up with wasting money trying to train someone new and would like to just put me in the position. I stated that I would consider it, but at this time would not be interested in a move unless there was an incentive for me to do so (i.e. $$$). 3 hours later I was called into another meeting and told that it would be a lateral movement only and there would be no increase in pay. I basically said I'm flattered they think I would be a good fit but no thanks. I was then told that I may not have a choice in the matter and if I am asked to move to the position I will have to make the move.
- I have researched our Terms and Conditions and Job Description and it does not have anything in there that states that my employer reserves the right to alter my contractual responsibilities anywhere.
- I also work in North Carolina for a company based out of Georgia. | I was asked if I wanted to move to a different postion in the office. I declined as there is no pay raise. I was told I may be forced to take the position. Office in NC, Company based out of GA |
t3_4sf5qf | relationships | [25/f] with controlling [28/m] | Hey guys so I recently got a dui and went to a 2 week treatment program for alcohol and drug abuse and have been out about 3 months now. I've been living with my boyfriend who works out of town for about 2 years now. Recently I've been at a house party and the bar (not drinking) and he told me he's not comfortable with me doing this while he's away. He doesn't trust me to stay sober and I've only slipped up once by taking perks since I've left treatment. He's getting really upset that I don't respect what he's comfortable with but I think he should trust me and give me a second chance. So you guys think he's unreasonable to ask me to do this? | I'm a recovering alcoholic and my boyfriend doesn't trust me going to the bar. Is this being too controlling? |
t3_41sa2m | relationships | My [21 M] girlfriend [19 F] still keeps gifts from her ex-boyfriend. | My girlfriend has been my best friend for a long time now and recently confessed to me after a long relationship tension between us.
My girlfriend always wears her ex-boyfriend's gold necklace that he bought for her when they were friends/dating/I don't know.
Yesterday she was real quiet and when I asked her what's wrong, she confessed that she has been feeling guilty that she has been wearing her ex-boyfriend's gold necklace. She assured me that it's not something she keeps to associate her time with her ex and that it was a birthday gift. She really likes the gold necklace and respect that was, in fact, a gift and not anything else. After telling all this, she hopes this all means something because she doesn't want secrets between us.
I was in fact never bothered by all of this until she said all this. Now I'm paranoid and feeling inferior that her ex-boyfriend is somewhat still in her life. I actually dreamt that her black ex-boyfriend was smiling and taunting me that she has "imprinted" her with the necklace and she will always remember him and return to her kingdom come when I'm not around (we're in a super long distance relationship, 3911KM apart).
So help me /r/relationships.
I am trying to be mature and understanding. Ever since getting cheated for the first time, I get paranoid of being cheated. I have been trusting mostly with her since we've known each other for years and we're best friends from the start!
I am annoyed of the necklace and I can't tell her to remove it. I am thinking of getting her a gift that she'll remember but I'm barely living lol.
Sorry if my English is shit. I speak Singlish mostly. | Gf keeps ex-bf's gifts and I'm paranoid. I want to be more trustworthy and more mature. Please help. |
t3_rox50 | AskReddit | My friend is becoming an addict, what can I do? | Hello Reddit,
I have a friend who is becoming addicted to weed, and before this gets downvoted to hell by people who say you can't get addicted to weed, I don't mean physically. Any time she is confronted with any problem, she just goes and smokes for hours instead of dealing with it. She used to smoke casually, but made a point to never be remotely high in front of her little sisters, my friend is in college and wants to be a good role model for them. This weekend, when visiting her family, she was high the entire time.
I have asked her about this, and she just blows it off as "I'm just having fun". Is there any way I can help her? | Friend is becoming psychologically addicted to weed, what can I do? |
t3_45t39u | relationship_advice | I'm a [21/f] Wondering if the Nostalgia of Being Single Worth Losing a Great S.O. [21/m]? | When I was seventeen I started dating my best friend, I just turned 21 and I'm still with that person (in fact, we live together). Though our relationship is great, at least in the sense that I always have someone to talk to, neither of us is controlling or jealous nor would we get in the way of our present/future career goals, after turning 21 and becoming a junior in college; I began to panic, this was brought out by a male classmate (Gustavo) whom I began conversing with, shocked by the chemistry and shared ideas of complex topics (politics, religion) I started realizing that I have never been single in my adult life, this is where the dilemma begins. Given that I have no apparent issues in my relationship, I came clean to my S.O. (Luke) about being terrified that I would never get the excitement of meeting someone new or the amount impulsivity that comes with being single. Luke, being the awesome guy he is, told me he understood and that he had though of that before but figured that there would probably come a time shortly after graduating when it would be inevitable to break up for awhile, due to new jobs in possibly different cities. In this scenario he said that in the ideal case of neither of us finding someone else, he would be ecstatic to get back together in a serious way; however, he made it clear that if I break up with him now over a reasons as selfish as the ones I stated (which he claimed have no regard for his feelings about the matter) he wouldn't be willing to get back together with me, because I would be breaking his heart. This all happened within the course of a few weeks and I thought I could shake the feeling off, but I still feel the same way. | I'm afraid my good college years will pass and I won't get to experience the single life, but I'm also aware that finding a guy as good as my current S.O. will be extremely difficult. |
t3_1r1mdk | relationships | I[16 M] ended it with my 8 month long gf[16] and she is saying she wants to kill herself and tell a secret that would ruin my life. | EDIT: Told her mum, ex is fine, not my problem, thanks so much to anyone who replied.
I recently had a bad break up with a girl because I just wanted to be single. We had been going tgether for 8 months before this and the last 1 or 2 months made me feel bad.
During our relationship, a bad thing happens that only she knows about and was extremely embarrassing for me. She asked me, recently, if there is any chance of us getting back together and I said no. She then send me a screenshot of a text where I referenced the embarrassing incident and she saud she has nothing to lose now that she's going to kill herself. (She has aldo had a history of self harm)
Also, if she tells peope my secret, it would make lots of my friends abandon me and lead to me being tormented for the next year and a half of high school. | ex knows a potentially life ruining secret and wants to kill herself. |
t3_18368v | relationship_advice | (26/F) Tomorrow night I'm going to a social function where I'll have to see and have dinner with my Ex. The big one, with the capital E. | I won't get too into the backstory. Basically we dated for five years, almost got engaged, no one was at fault for the breakup (enacted by him) but it was nevertheless a rough one. We've been separated for almost two years and don't see each other anymore.
I've moved on and am in love with my current SO, but Ex still makes me feel very uncomfortable. In the few instances where we do have to see each other or where my friends converse with him, he spends a lot of time trying to find reasons to look down on me (picks apart things like my job, my partner, my relationship, my outfit looking for something to criticize). I think maybe this is because if he can convince himself that I'm trash, it'll make him feel better that the relationship failed? That is my guess but I wouldn't want to claim any expertise on this dude's mindset.
Anyway, I can't get out of interacting with this guy tomorrow, but I'm so nervous. I just want to be myself and enjoy what I can of the evening, but I don't know how I'm going to act normal around him when I know he will do this. I think I'm either going to be intimidated into silence or provoked into speaking out and appearing the Flustered Bitch. Does anyone have any words of advice? Oh, my current SO will also be there with me. | Have no way of avoiding social function/dinner with my ex tomorrow night, need advice on how to keep cool and not freak |
t3_3abgn4 | relationships | Me 28 M with my Fiance 29 F 4yrs, conflicting on wedding plans, Needs Space. What do I do? | My fiance is a firm Feng Shui believer and wants to sign the marriage certificate on August 8th 2015. I proposed back on May 9th, 2015. I expressed that it was way too soon and we don't have the proper planning or foundation to rush into our marriage.
On top of that we had considered accepting her parents help for a down payment on a home but I have my fears that because I couldn't do it on my own accepting their money will forever be held over my head.
I expressed my feelings to her about 4 days ago and she said she wanted space to think. She was more upset than anything about me not going through with August 8th but I firmly believe that's it way too soon. We've texted once when I said I missed her and was worried if there was still an "us". She replied that she missed me too and there was still an "us" but still needed time.
I have no clue what to do next...I need help. | Fiance wants to rush into marriage cause of Feng Shui belief, I expressed I wasnt comfortable moving this fast, she wants space. What do I do? |
t3_3vvywx | relationships | Me [22F] having issues with my childhood friend [22F] that wont stop asking me to come visit her | A friend I have that I've been close with since we were younger that lives a few hours away from me keeps asking me to come visit her for a weekend at the university she goes to. We were best friends in elementary school but once we got to highschool she got really busy and we rarely saw each other because she wouldn't make time for me when she had all kinds of new friends at the school she went to.
I was going to visit her in October since I had a free weekend but she was too busy. I told her I would try and come visit her a few weeks later in the semester but I ended up getting swamped with school work. I've been really busy with school and family things and haven't had time to go visit her at university in a little over a year.
I see her when she is home from school every few months and we hang out then. I feel guilty for not being able to go visit her, especially since she keeps asking me. The thing is I want to go visit her but that would mean giving up an entire weekend of my time when I get to see my friends that live here and it would end up costing me at least $200 in transportation costs and other things over the weekend. The other thing is we don't really talk too much unless its her asking me to come visit her. I feel bad because sometimes I avoid talking her in case the subject of me visiting her comes up. What can I do to stop feeling so guilty about not wanting to spend at least $200 to visit a friend that I will end up seeing in a few months anyways when she gets back home? | How do you get someone who keeps asking you to visit them to stop and not feel guilty when you say you can't visit them? |
t3_2z3843 | tifu | TIFU by telling a seven year old I was going to toss her salad. | Something something this didn't actually happen today.
So two years ago I was living in a duplex, had been there almost a year when someone moved into the other half. Figured I'd be polite and introduce myself since we'd be sharing a wall and everything, and it turns out to be a single mom with three kids. A baby daughter, a 7year old daughter, and a teenage son I never actually saw.
Southern hospitality ensues and suddenly I'm inviting them over for dinner. Somehow instead of me cooking for them it turned into her making dinner for all of us (me, my SO, our 3 year old son and her two daughters) so while she's cooking I hook up the trusty old GameCube and proceed to teach her older daughter how to play super smash bros.
We're all just sitting on the couch waiting on the chicken to bake and the little girl was getting pretty good at the game, so she started to trash talk. But it was kid trash talk, things like "I'm gonna stomp your cookies!" or whatever.
Welllll. Keeping in the spirit of pg (or so I though) smack talking, I replied to that with "I'm going to toss your salad!"
Let me clarify now that I had no idea that was a thing. Never in my life had I heard that term for butthole licking. I didn't know why my SO and new neighbor were staring at me with naked horror on their faces. I was just as surprised as they were when I found out what I had said (SO had to take me outside after that match and explain it to me) and I apologized profusely.
We ate our chicken in silence. | Unwittingly threatened pedophilia in front of the kid's mom, god and everyone. |
t3_2wet7l | relationships | Me [25F] with my EX-SO [27M] of 6 years are falling apart | So here's my story...
I'm in a relationship for 6 years (break-up make-up you know the drill.) And I broke up with him because we cannot be together, we weren't accepted in this world...
After a few weeks, I just knew that he is in love with another girl... And that girl is the one who comforted him during his moving-on stage. The girl is in a relationship with another guy for 8 years and living-in together.
Right now, they say they are not in a relationship but they LOVE each other.
I want him back... It's true, your really don't know how much you love a person.... til he's gone..
That's the biggest regret of my life. If only I could turn back time, I'll show him how much I love him. I'll not be afraid to introduce him to anyone... I will love him for all I am....
But he keeps on saying... "It's too late... she love that girl already"
That breaks my heart... Like how can he seriously fall for the girl who comforts him in less than a month?
I can't take it.. I need help. | How to mend a broken heart? |
t3_v662x | AskReddit | Just found out I have a half-brother after all this time, how do I build a relationship with this guy? | (Not my story, friend requested I post for him, as he had to catch a plane. He was to eager to wait to ask.)
My friend just found out he has a step-brother in Australia he never knew about until now. My friend's an only child, and he's ecstatic about the thought of having a half-brother. Even though they're on different continents, my friend really wants to befriend his new half-brother, and doesn't know how to make that happen.
**Backstory: Friend's dad was in the navy. Knocked a girl up while he was stationed in Australia apparently. My friend is 18, his half-brother is 15.
He's already found his half-brother on facebook, and has briefly talked to him. The kid seems like a cool guy, but he's shy, which is understandable.
I guess my friend really just wants to know if you have any suggestions you'd have for him in his situation. | Friend finds out about Australian half-brother. How does friendship? |
t3_1bljuu | relationships | I [M 18] have gotten a job offer in the city my parents live, my girlfriend [F 18] and I live in my college town, I will be gone for 3 weeks, what should I do. | Hi Reddit!
So, me (M, 18) and my girlfriend (F, 18) met about a month ago and we have so much in common, we have lots of common interests, the same (sick haha) humor and so on. The relationship has been going GREAT so far.
This summer I planned on working to get money for my drivers licence, and to be honest it's really hard to find a job in Europe right now without lots of experience.
I sent out my CV to some businesses and finally after several months and attempts have gotten an job offer. There is however one problem:
This job is located where my parents live, which is about 1800Km ( about 1000 miles) from where I attend college and where my girlfriend lives. The job is an 3 week 6hour/day job with pretty decent pay, and i would have taken it without a doubt if it weren't for my recent girlfriend.
I'm home with my parents now for 1 week, and I already find it rather hard to be such a long distance away from her, which makes me unsure if I should take the job.
I mean, if I turn down this I will probably not find another job this summer, and thereby loose my chance for an drivers license, and the experience which could land me an better job in the future.
Reddit, what is your opinion? | got job offer, not sure if I want to leave my girlfriend for 3 weeks. |
t3_1dddr2 | AskReddit | Which set of ideas served to fundamentally change the way you view the world? | For me, it was the concepts related to the neurobiological/biochemical basis for most of our behaviors and ideas.
Also the idea, which to me is extremely apparent yet it isn't widely accepted, that there is a type of consciousness that exists which is beyond our capacity to understand. This seems to be a fair and safe extrapolation past our complex consciousness, in sharp contrast to the assertion that we are the culmination of the consciousness gradient. I strongly believe we are the cells of a higher conscious, in a similar way to how our neurons compound to create our consciousness. For instance, we're cells in the complex structure we call the internet, which has macroscopic qualities that we can analyze if we take a step back to see the big picture.
Please don't confuse this with an argument for the existence of god. | we are the components of a higher consciousness. |
t3_39ow18 | relationships | Me(21m) with ex (22f) of one year, at a loss for how to handle current situation | Hi reddit. I'm kind of at a loss for what to do right now, and could really use some advice.
So about a month ago, my ex GF and I broke up. We were together for a year, and for the most part the breakup was pretty clean. As for why we ended things, it was mostly because we're just two different people who want different things out of life.
Anyway, we chose to remain good friends and because she already chipped in for the latest months rent she's still living with me. I don't have a problem with this, and we hang out pretty often. Recently though she's been causing me a lot of stress. A female friend of mine and I have made plans to hangout and start watching a movie series that she's never seen before. This is a friend who years ago I used to have feelings for, but now I just see her as a good friend. That's it.
Now here's the issue: my ex got on my laptop while I was at work the other day and went through all my FB messages, as is super upset that I am talking to this girl and doesn't want me hanging out with her, even saying she'll bring one of her male coworkers to watch the movies with us. I keep telling her that this is not a date, I'm just spending time with a friend, but she refuses to believe me. She went on the other night about how I would throw away our friendship for this girl(not true).
I have no idea what to do/say. I want to keep my ex's friendship, but I can't deal with this every day. It's not just this issue, She's been acting super controlling about everything like when we were dating, even tried demanding the password to my phone and laptop last night. Any advice would be helpful. Am I in the wrong somehow? | Broke up a month ago, hanging out with other female friend, ex is upset and doesn't want the two of us hanging out. Trying to be friends with ex but not sure how to handle this. |
t3_wnb7k | relationships | Girlfriend doesn't communicate! need help please | So this girl (21) and I (20), have been dating for about six months. Overall we have had a great relationship, we both trust each other, we have A LOT in common, we do almost everything together, and I do love her with all my heart. The problem is though, I am her first serious boyfriend and she doesn't know how to communicate. If I ask her something about us, or bring up something that has been bothering me, her immediate response is "I don't know", and she never wants or is willing to talk about it.
For instance, right now I am out of town for two weeks due to tonsil surgery, and she hasn't started a conversation once. She didn't even ask how I was doing after surgery, I had to call her. So when I brought this up to her last night, and asked what was going on, her response was "I only miss you sometimes, and I don't know why I don't text you".
Now I have been as patient as possible with the whole thing, not pushing her to tell me things, trying to help her with how she can communicate with me. But the one time I have pushed her for an answer she said she felt like "something was missing" and how I am her first real boyfriend and "falling in love with [me] wasn't what she expected".
So I am really at a loss here, I love this girl to death, my life would be quite empty and boring without her. But if these communication problems we have been having continue, I don't think our relationship will. It really seems at the moment like she has an indifferent attitude towards our relationship.
So do you fine people have any suggestions of what I can do? Or is it a hopeless cause? Because I really don't want to lose her. | Girlfriend doesn't know how to communicate and it is causing a little resentment in me, any suggestions of what I can do? |
t3_2yub55 | legaladvice | [NY] How to deal with repeat trespassers on private property? | I have my house at the end of a long driveway. Several years later, a house was built near me and we gave them a spoken-word agreement that they can build a small road to our longer driveway for them to use, instead of building a second, larger and longer driveway to the road. They chipped in to help plow and de-ice it in the winter.
They lost their home from a foreclosure and now the bank owns it and has a realtor trying to sell it. They have since built their own driveway as we said we do not want randoms coming on our driveway to view the home. They complied and built their own driveway and stopped using ours.
Now, with snow everywhere, the plow they hired to plow their own driveway accidentally plowed ours. Great and all, but we didn't ask for it. Now, the realtors and the people they are showing the house to are using our private driveway again. They claim that since they plowed our driveway and did us a favor, we can do them a favor. NOPE.
So the question is, what can I do next time I see them using our driveway without permission. I can't really hold them hostage and tell them they have to drive away using an unplowed road. What legal action can I take to send the message? | Realtors using our private driveway to view a house next door since their driveway is snowed in. They won't take no for an answer. |
t3_cmqu5 | needadvice | do I need to become a dickhead at work? | so here I am, a manager at a restaurant. i'm generally a super-nice guy and pretty lenient with my employees. we all care quite a bit about the job, so it's not really up to me to motivate the employees, no one's really lazy.
but lately i've been having problems with respect. i feel like i'm being too nice and a couple (actually mainly just ONE) of my employees aren't taking me seriously (not doing what i ask him to, "jokingly" being a dick, etc). but now he's started to cross the line.
now usually in this situation i'd just fire jokes back at him, but i can't in this situation because if I pointed out any of his faults (he's fat and smells like shit, i've had to talk to him about hygiene several times), he'd be severely offended and i'd come off looking like a terrible manager. he's 25 and i'm 23 (and he's been a manager at other restaurants) so I think he values his own opinion over mine. i realize him giving me shit is sort of a self defense mechanism but he's starting to drive me fucking crazy.
anyway he's really started to get on my nerves in the last few days, so i've been tightening up my hold over everyone, and being not-so-nice. actually i've been quite a dick because i'm sick of the shit. like i said, i'm normally a nice guy and i don't like being a dick, but im getting positive results. he understands when i tighten up like that that he better do what the fuck i say, so i don't see any way around it.
i've always felt like i'm nice to a fault, and half of me thinks this is a wake up call for me to stop being somewhat of a doormat. | im a manager of a restaurant who's nice (almost to a fault), an employee values his own opinion over mine and has challenged my authority on a few occasions. being a dick has shown good results but i dont feel like thats who i am. do i continue being a dick? |
t3_285m2o | relationships | I [20 F] am unable to leave an emotionally abusive relationship with my boyfriend[21 M] of 2 years. | I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I have been studying at university 2 hours away from home, and we tried to see each other every 2-3 weeks.
A couple of months ago, I have found out that he has been in a sexual relationship with someone else (9 months). I tried to call things off then, but he threatened to hurt himself because he cannot imagine life without me.
I got back together with him because I was concerned with his safety, and I thought we could make it work. To avoid getting hurt again, I asked him to come come clean, to which he replied with "there is nothing else to know".
We got back together and it was really difficult for me to spend time with him. A few days ago I found out that he was also cheating on me with his ex girlfriend (using her for sex and emotional comfort).
I broke things off again, and now he is saying he will take his own life.
I really don't know how to handle this situation. I want to distance myself from this toxic relationship but I can't watch him do this to himself. I am stuck. | boyfriend cheated 40+ times, wants to end his life. I need help dealing with this. |
t3_2piwfc | Advice | Preparations for father passing. | A little background history. My father is 44 and a 18 year veteran of the Army. He was hit in the neck while on active duty and soon suffered 2 strokes afterwards. He suffered from a "carotid artery dissection" if I remember correctly. At first he didn't remember the family and still cant feel the right side of his body. My mother has fought hard with the VA for his benefits that he deserves. But anyways, my fathers condition has gotten worse and worse over the years since 2009 when he suffered from the strokes (at a family thanksgiving reunion btw). He refuses to go to the hospital because they never find anything and have gone to several specialists. Hes taking 30 pills a day. And finally they have found that his liver is failing. My mother fears that this is serious and I do as well given his significant decline the past 4 months. If he passes away I don't know if I can handle that kind of pressure. I have a 9 year old sister and a 6 year old brother. I also have an older sister 23 with a 3 year old son (his grandson). And not to mention what this will do to my mother with major heart problems and anxiety issues. I am 21 year old male and the only "Male" figure that will be left in my family. I've lost grandparents and friends before but I don't know if I can handle what's coming.. Has anyone dealt with this before that can give me some advice. | father is bad health. Doesn't look good. Leaving behind 2 young kids. I'm the only man figure in the house. Looking for advice on how to handle this. May need to step up and be a father figure. I'm 21 still in college. |
t3_3cfrrr | tifu | TIFU by sending my boyfriend nudes that got displayed on a 70in TV screen and seen by his whole family | This actually happened around last christmas. So my boyfriend and I had been dating awhile and it was going well. I had met his family for the first time a week prior to the incident, then went back home to be with my family for christmas break. Back in our college town his parents were still visiting with the rest of their family. One night they all had dinner together which included my boyfriend, his parents, his brother, his sister, his brother in law, and his brother in laws parents and grandparents. They asked my boyfriend to apple airplay cute pictures of their new cat on the TV screen for everyone to see, and he did and all was good. Well later in the evening I guess my boyfriend got bored and decided to peruse some screenshots he took of naked snapchats I sent him. Little did he know he was still connected to airplay mode and then boom, up on the giant TV screen for everyone to see were quite compromising photos of me. One of which was a picture of my butt, that I drew a flagpole coming out of with an American flag attached to it with the caption "manifest destiny!" Everyone saw, awkward dinner ensued. Thank god I wasn't there for the incident, but still wanted to die when my boyfriend told me. Having just met them a week ago Im sure they now had a great opinion of me! | don't send nO0dz |
t3_37u6vt | relationships | I'm (21/F) ambivalent about having children. Worried this is going to affect my ability to settle down. | As of late, I find myself ambivalent about children, leaning towards not wanting them at all, for several reasons:
-If I ever have a baby it would be with a husband who I loved more than anything. All I hear about is how children ruin your relationship, that you just become roommates with nothing in common but your kids or end up resenting each other for other reasons. The idea of my relationship with the man I choose to spend my life with being compromised over something I CHOSE makes me heartsick.
-I don't know if I'd be able to handle the changes to my body. My appearance is extremely important to me. Age related weight gain, wrinkles or grays I can handle. Stretch marks, tears, and permanent changes to my breasts I cannot.
-All any parent I see/hear on the Internet and in real life is bitch about how their kids are so stressful and driving them crazy. Why would I want to put my body through nine months of hell for nothing but a life of stress, exhaustion, and resentment?
-I want the freedom to travel with my spouse and just do whatever I want. Kids restrict your freedom.
-I have a high libido and having a fulfilling sex life is deeply important to me. All I hear about is how kids ruin your sex life.
-Finally, I have good reason to believe that getting pregnant would not be easy for me, nor would carrying to term (PCOS). I do not want to voluntarily put myself through the anguish of infertility.
I think all these things and feel sure about my choice one minute, but the next I think of myself as a menopausal woman regretting that I never had kids; what if? I guess I need perspective from both childfree people and parents, I know both post here.
But my main question is that I'm worried not wanting children would affect my ability to get married in the first place. I want nothing more in the world to spend my life with someone I adore. But every man I've ever met wants children. Do most guys want kids? I don't want to be single my entire life. I know THAT would be a very real regret. | I'm ambivalent about kids but worried I'll regret it. Need perspective/want to know if not wanting children will affect my ability to find someone. |
t3_n666c | AskReddit | Anyone know the ins and outs of financial aid for college? | Okay so like most people I need loans and aid to go to college. I have an English degree and am going back to get the classes I need to be able to teach high school English. I can either get a second degree in education( a lot of requirements knocked out) or a teaching certificate. For the degree it would be at one school, a state school for the certain it would be spilt at two schools a state. And a private. For my understanding I can only take aid for one at a time. Someone suggested to me that I take the classes I need at the state school then quit and take the classes i need at the other school, which would ne the degree, or in this case certificate, granting institution.
I am looking into the total cost and time of one.option over the other.
I'm really just looking for advice on financial aid and appreciate any. | Am I able to take out aid from one school take the classes i need quit go to another school, the degree one, take aid and take the last of the classes? |
t3_2fqxv7 | relationships | My [22m] girlfriend[18] came home from college to surprise a friend at the wedding that inspired her to break up with me. | Okay so I'll try not leave anything out.
Iam 22 and a student working full time and trying to finish up school. Living in Texas. We worked together and she pursued me. Because she appaearently liked me since she first met me.
She is 18 and going to the university of Arkansas where she just got into a sorority. She hasn't been finding friends she said and really was eager to come home after 3 weeks and surprise her Best friend at her sisters wedding.
Well we spent all day together and had an amazing day. She even planned out the next day and when I would visit her in October.
Well I had work at 3 and she had the wedding at 5 without a plus 1.
After not hearing from her all night she says
She has something on her heart that she needs to pray about..it was about us. She then said the timing wasn't right and god needed to to do work on her.....
We had a great relationship and she really brought out the gentleman in me. It was just so out of left field. Like what in the world happened!?!? | my girlfriend came home from school, spent the day with me, and then went to a wedding. Where she felt the need to break up with me after over text. |
t3_n91or | AskReddit | i think i literally made every possible mistake in the book. salvageable? | (24 F) I just ended a year- long relationship about a month ago. Soon after, I went on a few dates with a (22) guy from one of my classes. I told him (through text - faux paus?) that I didn't want to get too involved too quickly because I was still adjusting to being single and needed some time. I still want to get to know him, and told him that I like him and could see myself dating him in the future. He stopped talking to me.
I thought I had hurt his feelings, so I wrote him an email explaining that my mixed signals were the result of relationship complication and had nothing to do with him. Still nothing. Was he just looking for sex? I should add that he's a virgin (he told me after we made out). Am i creepy for writing him an email? It was finals week, so i didn't want to bother him with a long conversation.
I really like him, and want to know if there's anything I can do to salvage this. | i told guy i just got out of a relationship and dont want to get too involved; he stopped talking to me |
t3_1x0cna | relationships | Me [21 F] with my friend [21 F] I kind of don't want to be her friend anymore. | I'm in a weird place right now.
I've had a friend for several years now. She's super nice, and a good friend in the sense that she is loyal and kind. If I'm feeling down, she is always willing to talk to me (and I do the same for her).
But the uncomfortable fact I'm realizing now is that she is boring and awkward to me. I've always been aware of the fact that she is awkward, but I've never said anything obviously b/c I accept her for who she is. We've never discussed this, but I do genuinely suspect she has Asperger's, or something of that nature. I'm just telling you guys this so you can get an idea of the way she interacts with people.
But at the same time, it is becoming a chore for me to hang out with her. We meet for lunch for like once a week, but at this point it feels like obligation. I know how good of a person she is, but I feel no desire to hang out with her, not really. I get bored when we hang out, and I invite her everywhere with me when I am out with other people (like at bars and stuff), but she just leaves soon after, or doesn't talk. | I don't want to get rid of a great, honest person in my life (because those are so hard to find!), but it is becoming an actual, unpleasant chore to hang out with my friend. I'm not sure what this shift in my thinking is about, though. Sorry I'm an asshole :( |
t3_4prn4k | tifu | TIFU by putting my iPad on the staircase ledge. | This fuck up happened last night and I spent today worrying about what I will have to do.
It all starts when I walk up the stairs with my iPad to go the toilet. Before I go into the toilet, I see that someone in my family left their shirt outside on the window ledge. I put my iPad on the ledge(ledge is flat) and find out which idiot put their shirt their. As I check if their is a name on the shirt, my hand somehow flicks my iPad and it falls off the ledge. It falls down like it's in slow motion. I hear the thud of the iPad and I bolt down the stairs.
"I did buy a $20 fake Griffin survivor case off eBay. Hopefully that saved my iPad."
The moment of truth dawned upon me as I slowly check if my iPad was still working.
Screen not cracked. Success. I press my home button and the screen turned was black with flickering grey lines. I was fucked. I was roasted by my parents (I'm asian) and now I've decided not to go to an expensive restaurant for my birthday dinner to hopefully pay for a repair or new iPad. I can now say that my iPad screen is as bright as my future. | was being dumb, iPad got fucked up |
t3_2htie3 | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] of 2 years, i'm questioning our relationship for no one reason, would just like some advice. | Hi everyone, been reading for awhile and I would really enjoy some advice. :) Using a throwaway because i'm not sure if my bf reads this sub haha.
I [20f] started dating my boyfriend [20m] about 2 years ago, he's my first real relationship and I love him more than anything. He's been great, we have a lot of common interests, great sex life, I just feel like something is missing.
Like I said he is my first real relationship and coming with that, he was my first kiss, first everything. I've changed a lot in the last couple of years, most importantly he has significantly raised my self-esteem in the time we've been dating. I'm a lot more outspoken and just not afraid of going out or meeting new people anymore. For example, a year ago I would be terrified of even posting this... Haha.
That's all great and for that I love him even more but I can't help but miss dating... The excitement that comes with it and just feeling really desired again... I feel like he is comfortable and doesn't need to 'woo' me as much, I don't need the wooing, but it would be nice every so often! I know he's tired from work and all but so am I, yet I can find the time to bake him cookies, make dinner, tidy the house, be pleasant when he gets home etc. i'm not ready to be a doting housewife at age 20 with an unappreciative partner :(
It's really difficult to even begin to bring this up to him without feeling like i'm attacking him. I love him more than anything, we've talked extensively about our future, kids and the like. We're both just trying to work hard now to make our future as awesome as possible, and I can't imagine him with anyone else. :(
Has anyone else ever felt this way? What did you do? Sorry if this doesn't 'flow' very nicely, just kind of typing what i'm thinking. I'll answer whatever questions anyone has, thanks! | My first relationship ever is coming to the end of the honeymoon phase and i'm not sure if i'm ready to be done dating. Even though we're perfect for each other and I can't imagine him with anyone else, I just feel like we met too early but I can't let go. |
t3_4659ux | relationships | My [32 M] girlfriend [30 F] of two years is severely bipolar and wants us to move in together, I don't know how to handle it at all. | My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. We live happily in separate apartments (though we speak often about moving in together when the time is right). We have had a lot of great experiences together and we love each other, but she also suffers from diagnosed severe bipolarity. This means that often times (two or three times a month) she will have a complete breakdown, distrust that I love her, scream, cry, panic, or just generally make a scene. I try and do what I can and be supportive because she's wonderful the rest of the time, but truthfully I understand very little about being bipolar and never know if I'm helping or hurting, progressing or enabling.
Mostly this has resulted in some quick clean up but on occasion she'll get into it really bad when it's incredibly inconvenient (example: 3AM on a worknight). On one occasion she was going through this stuff and keeping me up so late into the night that when I got up to go to work the next morning I nearly crashed my car out of tiredness. Those are extremes - very rare, and part of the buffer we have is that we don't live together.
Two weeks ago her roommate sprung on her that she will be moving out of their apartment. For my girlfriend this means she needs to find a new roommate fast or she herself can't afford to live there. She asked me to move in with her, and I don't know what to do. I love my apartment as much as she loves hers, and though I do want to live with her someday this comes on the heels of a particularly rough incident and all I can think is that she will get more anxious and problematic from the pressure of us moving in together and it will further threaten my livelihood and our relationship. She just switched meds and the time is not right. She sees I'm hesitant and it's freaking her out.
How do I navigate this issue? Am I being overly concerned for my own well being or am I being overly concerned for hers? should i just move in and hope for the best? Help me, please. | my girlfriend is bipolar and wants me to move in with her. I don't know how to explain my fears over it to her. |
t3_47kj3q | relationships | Me [23 M] with my Friend [20 F] , Big Question Mark over relationship | Hi so 23 (M) here. I have a 20 year old female friend that I have had a huge crush on for about a year. She got out of a 10 month relationship in September and then we made out and (almost) had sex around Thanksgiving.
Here is the problem the reason it was an almost was because she stopped me right before the point of no return. I respected that and we stopped and spent the rest of the night cuddling and making out. Her reasons for stopping it is she did not want me to be a rebound lay. After all this happened our yearlong friendship was deeply affected. She did not want to go forward with a relationship and I did. I attempted to respect those wishes as best I could and probably could have done better. Things got better and our friendship has been restored kinda.
Where the confusion comes is now she is all over the place with me. One minute she'll be friendly, talking, and slightly affectionate toward me. The next she is hostile, mean, and just generally avoidant. These mixed signals are driving me nuts and I don't know what to do or what she is thinking. I would ask her but she is a relatively closed off person and getting her to open up about personal stuff is like pulling teeth with tweezers.
I'd like to know where we are in overall relationship (friends, potential romance, she hates me) but the mixed signals are just putting a big question mark over it. What should I do and how should I read these mixed signals. | Girl and I friends. Semi-hooked up. She did not want relationship, I did. Friendship trouble, then friendship restored. Now mixed signals causing confusion over whole relationship. What should I do? How do I read mixed signals? |
t3_2j3us8 | relationships | Me [17 M] having troubles with a girl 17[F] Not sure if interested or just distracted. | A few weeks ago I asked a girl out to the movies. Now she said "sure" so that's not a good sign already but she gave me her number. Now we've texted a few times and most of her responses are 1 to 2 words sometimes there's a sentence but often times not. I didn't text her at all for about a week and felt like nothing was going to happen so I asked if she was even still interested. I only ask because if she wasn't which I suspected she wasn't I could move on and get over it. But she said yeah but she couldn't at the moment because she had a concussion(She does btw). So now I don't know if I should move on or wait because she just got a concussion two days ago and it had already been three weeks. | Confused on how a girl feels towards me. |
t3_4d7ech | relationships | Me(25M) w/24(f) dating, not sure whether to bring up exclusivitiy or not. | So long story short:
Met great girl last summer, hit it off, long distance so not much happened for months after initial meeting but kept in touch.
Past 4 months had the chance to spend a couple weekends together that went amazingly and things have intensified since despite the distance. Although we haven't fully spoken about boundaries or put a 'label' on it.
I'd say we have an amazing connection and tons in common and i really care about her. We text everyday, talk on the phone every few days, say cute shit to each other, talk about sex (even tho we haven't done it yet for circumstantial reasons) etc and are planning a trip together this summer after I move back to her side of the country (always been my plan, she's not the reason for it).
anyways I feel like the situation is delicate and I'm not sure what the boundaries are. Im not seeing or sleeping with anyone else based off the fact that I really like her and I'm trying this new thing called being in integrity with my feelings and i think going around banging random girls just to satisfy my sexual needs would jeopardize that.
I am however having trouble deciding whether I want to know what she's doing, I'm not sure if i do or don't want to know out of fear for what the answer might be.
My gut is telling me she's not but we had a text convo recently that left me feeling a little bit uneasy and really made me think seriously about wanting to set communicated boundaries so I can decide what direction I want to take with my feelings.
Anyways, just wanted to know reddits opinion on this for a sort of 3rd party view on things as sometimes its hard to evaluate things unbiasedly when you are emotionally involved. | been dating girl long distance but no label or clearly set boundaries. Have become curious to know if were on the same page , not sure whether to bring it up or not. opinions please |
t3_3eq650 | relationships | Me [18 F] with my bf [18 M] of a year. I found out bf's life-long friend [20 M] is a guy I had a huge crush on growing up b/c he was my bro's friend. | My boyfriend and I have been dating a year and I don't know how I hadn't met his best life-long friend yet, but I finally did last night. I'll call him Ares. My brother is two years older than me and Ares was one of his good friends and he was always over at our house and I got a huge crush on him.
My bf and Ares invited me over to Ares's place to get drunk because we hadn't drank in a very long time. Ares and I are always exchanging long glances and we're always very close. We talk about the crush I had when I was younger while my bf is blackout passed out on the floor. We don't kiss or anything sexual, but we end up just cuddling.
I don't know why I'm so drawn to him, and it's not even in a sexual way necessarily, just I want to reconnect. My bf are very happy and have great sex and such, but I feel like Ares and I have this oddly strong connection. | Bf's best friend is a guy I used to have a huge crush on and still might. How do I go about it? |
t3_d2g6i | relationships | My best friend is spending a lot of time with my sister, am I overreacting? | So, there's sort of two problems here. My friend and I are 17, and my sister is 20. I'm a girl, by the way. Anyway, there have been several instances where my sister would say she was having some friends over, and I'd come home from work or something and my friend will be there drinking with her and her friends. That alone makes me uncomfortable, but there's another problem. He's been having some family problems and has been getting drunk by himself before bed and casually mentioning that to me. I see this as the beginning of a problem and my sister drinking with him is just making it worse. I tried talking to him about how his hanging around with my sister makes me uncomfortable, but I haven't mentioned the possible alcohol abuse problem. I don't know what to do in my position because I love my sister, but I want to be able to tell my best friend things without worrying that he'll talk about them with her. He didn't listen when I told him I don't like them being so close, and so I don't know if he'll listen about the drinking thing. | My friend has been spending a lot of time with my sister and didn't care when I told him it makes me uncomfortable. He also has been drinking a lot and I want to talk to him about how it could be turning into a problem, but I have no idea how. |
t3_307nuq | relationships | Me [39M] with my Wife [37F] of 12yrs, I don't have anyone to talk to about what am feeling and ... | **Would like to start with the fact that I live in a 3rd world country where the medical/social security structure doesn't really exist.**
Am depressed and feel lonely all the time and I can't talk to my wife because she's anxiety prone and will freak out if I let her know about how hopeless I feel about our future.
Problem is my deadend job and my loser attitude. All my life I have dug a hole for myself to sink into - be it school, college, but most importantly job/career. By now I should have had some measure of security in our financial position but am not so hopeful now (and it's a man's job to take care of the family's financial future - that was the understanding that we had when we got married).
Right now, I just want to talk to someone - and I can't have this conversation with my wife because she's anxiety prone and I guess still hopeful that things will turn out OK - telling her what am thinking will destroy her(and definitely impact our two kids). [Apart from this anxiety thing, she's a great person, great mom, a positive force in my life... I would be in a much worse situation if it wasn't for her... and I feel so bad that am letting her and the kids down...]
And I can't talk to any friends because I don't really have any... whatever friends I have, I kind of move away from them - am sort of a misanthrope I guess.
I really really want to vent and sort of get this off my chest as this fear and uncertainty is eating me up from inside - what do I do? | Depressed, Anxious, in a financial hole, don't have any friends... and I feel so bad that am letting her and the kids down... Just want to vent and talk and no one have talk to... |
t3_3ekniy | relationships | Me [22 M] with girl I'm dating [22 F] for a little over a month from Tinder, how to communicate about wanting something more casual and NOT a relationship after sleeping with her | I met a girl over Tinder last month. We are both recent college grads living at home with our parents. We've gone on normal dates, mostly just getting drinks and then taking a walk and making out every 1-2 weeks. Last night was our 5th date and we had sex.
I do not know what she wants. And she does not know what I want. We haven't communicated about it. I merely want to date casually and not exclusively for now and definitely not a relationship. It has nothing to do with her, just with where I'm at in life.
The thing I'm nervous about is if she wants something more and I do not. There are signs that she has romantic feelings for me. I feel bad for having sex with her when we haven't communicated what we wanted yet. I don't want to hurt her.
I'm fine with what we're doing so far very casually. I like to be with her, but I don't want anything serious. I am VERY new to casual dating and dating in general and have no idea how to go about this. | Me and girl haven't talked about where we stand and I am clueless about casual dating. How do I communicate with girl I am dating about what we want? |
t3_49do06 | relationships | Me (19M) At a Crossroad. | So I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I tried getting to know this girl Kathy (18F) and it ended up with something stupid.
I started talking to her one day after class and it seemed like it went well. I walked her to her car most of the time and she seemed like she might have been kinda interested. I kinda took a chance and acquired her number a couple of weeks ago and we started texting. I learned a little about her by asking her questions. I got her favorite game (Persona 3) and started playing it and we started discussing it as I played it over text. Her responses seem to be fewer than 10 words and I can understand that. Maybe she didn't like texting.
Last week I tried asking her if she wanted to go to a place to get food and she told me she did not want to waste the gas money on it and she would be lazy when she gets home. I told her I wouldn't mind getting her (it was 15 mins from the college) and she told me she was lazy still.
I don't get it. I can't for the life of me understand if that is just a poor excuse or if I misunderstood signs.
Also to note, I am in college and she is an introvert.
Am I missing something? | Can't till if a girl is giving off good signs she likes me, or if she doesn't care. |
t3_1z7pzy | AskReddit | How to stop myself from taking " I don't think I am in love with you anymore" personally? | Me[26f] him[30m] broke up today after 6 months because he felt there was too much damage done. We were having issues with communication. He spent the first 3-4 months of our relationship putting in a lot of effort, which in turn, made him very unhappy(which he hid from me and ultimately resented me for). In addition, he spent these 4 months lying to me about his ex-girlfriend. He said they were no longer in contact with each other, when really they worked together side by side.
To compromise, he needed to travel less (we lived over an hour apart) and more space to himself. Also, he got laid off and found a new job - so he cut his ex-girlfriend off. He tells me that I am so beautiful, funny and smart, but that I am too "sensitive" and "needy" for what he can handle. He wants something that is more relaxed and fun, and doesn't want to deal with consoling someone in a relationship when things get rough. The last kicker - I asked him to be honest and he said he didn't feel like he was in love with me anymore.
I loved him and tried to be as fair as I could. I am not perfect, but it's hard to face the rejection of "I don't want you anymore and I don't want to do this." If I have so much to offer someone - how do you not take this personally? | Secondly, how to I regain my confidence and realize I am better than this? |
t3_2c1wwh | relationships | Me [25 M] with my [22 F] 9 months, She said we are not compatible | Last night, My gf and I are talking about the future. She wants to move in and all this. We start arguing and a few hours later we make up and start trying to have make up sex. Halfway through she stops and says I'm huring her and it ruins the mood.
When she comes back she starts crying and says that we are not compatible. Not just sexually though, just all around. We kind of talked about what we're going to do but when that is said what can be done?
Is there anyway to become compatible with some who says the two people are not compatible. Or could this be the end? | GF said we are not compatible last night. Is there any way(s) to become compatible with someone? Or should we just call it quits? |
t3_mhnv6 | AskReddit | Can reddit help me launch my vet career? | I've always loved animals, and being a high school freshman, I've had to put much thought into my career. My step dad constantly tells me, "It doesn't matter if you struggle to get by when you love what you do."
There's always the boring, (successful,) careers such as business management, law, doctoring, etc.. But I'm trying out careers that I enjoy. The first thing that comes to mind is how much I love animals.
I go to my local animal shelter's website to register as a volunteer
And I have to be 18 to register. Both my parents are insanely allergic to cats, so they can't come with me while I volunteer. So my question to reddit is,
can you help me think of a way to convince the shelter in an email to allow me to volunteer without my guardians present. They have no problem writing a letter consenting my volunteering. | i want to help animals at a shelter but i need to be 18 to volunteer. I need to convince the shelter to let me volunteer with consent, without my parents present. |
t3_1w36ai | relationships | My[21F] boyfriend [25M] brought home a friend[19F] without telling me. | So, first off I'll apologize for any spelling mistakes, I'm using my phone. Been with my boyfriend for just over a year.
So my boyfriend(we'll call him Steve) has this female friend(we'll call her Susie). They have been friends for a few months and have gotten really close fast. They text all day (more than he texts me) and I will say I get really jealous. It's become pretty bad, to the point where I want to change because this negativity is scaring me. I've told him this and we both know that if I get to know her better then the jealousy will go away.
It happened to another female friend of his and now me and her are good friends as well and plan girls nights.
Though just tonight, I come home early from work and I see Susies shoes and coat, they aren't downstairs so I go up, she's not in the computer room and the bathroom door is open... She can only be in our bedroom and then out strolls Steve, only wearing a tshirt and his underwear. Of course I think that they've had there fun (I blame too much Reddit) and just quietly walk away. I don't get angry but Steve can tell. Then he gets angry, though keeps his calm, and tells me what happened.
I do want to believe him, I sort of do but it's hard when he does these things behind my back. I can't get over this jealousy if he doesn't trust me at all.
He did apologize but only, "to make me feel better" and when we talked about it he made me out for the bad guy. He can't tell me she's coming over because I'll get jealous, but I get jealous because he doesn't tell me. He really doesn't feel he did anything wrong. I know I'm not the saint in this situation but It's not entirely my fault :(
I don't want you guys to tell me what to do our what to say. I just need outside opinions on this matter. | Boyfriend doesn't tell me he's bring his female friend over because of my jealousy but I get more jealous because he doesn't tell me. Want to get over this jealousy. Need opinions. |
t3_2ifneb | relationships | Me [25 M] with my gf [25 F] of 7 months, Said "I love you" for first time. Need advice | Have been with my girlfriend for 7 months now and we where in bed, really romantic, candles lit and she started to ask me about what the difference between love and like are. Iv been wanted to tell her for about a month that i was in love with her but thought it might be to early but i thought i was would just go for it so i said to her when things went quiet. "im in love with you". Now she is Asian so her english is very good but not 100% so she asked me what thats means and if its means the same as "loving someone" I said yes it does and she said she loved me too. My problem was i didnt expect the first things to come out of her mouth after i said "Im in love with you" to be a question about what it means, so it kind of threw me abit and lost the romance i felt in the situation. So during the moment after i kind of made a funny noise to try and make her laugh. She laughed and said "nooo give me the romantic moment back" basically saying i had broken the romantic moment by making a funny noise. I didnt mean to do this i just didnt feel the romance so didnt realise. The romance kinda of broke for me when she asked me what i meant by "Im in love with you".
My question is "how important is this moment for girls? Have I ruined the relationship by being silly in this srs moment between a couple? I am worried i have blown it with a girl i love because i might have ruined a precious moment where you say i love you to a girl.
(bit of info about my personality that she doesn't know - I suffer from anxiety so i overthink things and am insecure but i obviously hide this from her because i think i will eventually get over it. I prefer to fake it until i make it than tell her the truth) | Said i love you for first time, made funny noise and ruined romantic moment am now worried i have destroyed relationship cause of importance of first saying this. |
t3_14i02p | offmychest | A bit nerdy but... | I don't know if the American public. or any other country really, truly realizes the sacrifice we make upon joining the military. Sure, the training can take a while, ranging up to a few years depending on what occupation you have chosen, but we are all called upon at some point to risk or lives.
We go months, even years, at a time without seeing or speaking with the ones we love but for web chat. We bet our lives every single day during deployment and have accepted the face that we will almost guaranteed be called upon to put our lives on the line for our country's interests and her safety, as well as the world's. Many of us have survived. Many of us have not. We are prepared at any time to give our lives for your safety and the safety of your country.
We are asked to put every single personal issue you can think of behind us in order to take care of our assigned duties, be it going on patrol, maintaining military network infrastructure, ensuring a unit's logistical needs are taken care of, etc.
We are essentially selling our souls to our respective governments to ensure the safety of our people.
I know this probably nothing more that another rant on your wall, but I ask that you occasionally take time out of your day to be thankful for those that dedicate their lives to ensuring your freedom. | It doesn't matter what country you're from except for maybe the Vatican. Be thankful for your troops even if you disagree with policy. |
t3_1q4p5r | relationships | Should I [19F] move in with my bf [22 M] of 6 months? Pros/cons of living with SO? | We've been together just over 6 months and we're completely in love. He spends the night at my place around 4 nights/week and he has his own drawer. We get along great, no problems. He's been hinting about wanting to move in together, but I've heard that that's not a good idea.
In your experience, is living with a SO before marriage beneficial to the relationship? How do you know if it's a good idea? (btw -- regardless of what I decide, my current lease requires that I be in my apartment for another year so I'm not in any rush) | Bf wants to move in, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. |
t3_370hdc | tifu | TIFU by responding to a craigslist personal | I thought I'd give it a go, you know, who knows?
Surely if I take the right precautions I can avoid murderers and scammers, right?
Well I quickly discovered CL is full of scammers and spam posts in personals, and quickly learned to avoid them based on their language.
Then I saw one that looked legit. A coherent title and actual content in the post, with details that didn't fit the usual trend (fan of games, sci fi etc), and a location different than the usual major city, so I sent a reply to their ad.
My first clue that they're a scammer should have been when they sent 3 or 4 word responses.
My second clue should have been when they kept asking for cock and face pics.
Being extremely horny and wanting nothing more than a fuck at the time, I followed along, until I did the most stupid thing: I sent my face pic.
Then the replies stopped.
I later discovered that people's face pics were being uploaded to all kinds of horrible sites (to do with sexual predators and such) with their name etc.
Thankfully I'd used a throwaway e-mail address and never given my name (my e-mail doesn't show it in the details either), and that picture has never been used in any social media websites.
I *really* hope nothing bad comes of this... | I gave my face pic to a scammer on CL. |
t3_3j5clu | relationships | I [20 f] can't help but to think about my ex [19 m] every time I have a moment to myself | Ok so it's been 8 months since we broke up. I'm 20 year old f and he's a 19 year old m. We've met up to hook up too in the past up until about a month or more ago I finally had enough. I told him that I couldn't meet up anymore because the hookups meant something to me and it's not good in the first place especially since I figured it was nothing to him. He had agreed (which sorta haunts me) and I finally blocked his number to never look back again.
That was a month or more ago and recently he's been popping up in my mind. Normally I do think about him and feel upset. When I do I tell myself "it's ok to feel this way it's normal because it was something for you especially since he's your first everything. In time things will get better. Who cares whether or not he's in a relationship. You need to become the person you were before and now your a little stronger than normal."
But the past few days it's been stronger. Last night I had a dream about him with someone else and couldn't get that out of my mind. And today during a nap I had a dream that I wanted to have sex with him despite the fact that he wasn't interested.
During the day at school or whenever I'm just minding my own business my mind is thinking about the typical things. But when it comes to laying down to go to sleep it goes to him. I have no idea why this is happening it's only making the process worse because I want to move on and be contempt. Is this normal? Why now? Nothing that I can think of has triggered it except the fact that I listened to ONE song that hits close to home. "Never meant by American football." At that it's just a song... If anyone has experienced this can you please tell me how you coped with it so it can stop? | Whenever I try to go to sleep I think about my ex. Is there anything I can do to stop it? |
t3_3y5xai | dogs | [Help] Keeping my Husky from escaping! | Hi everyone. Wanted to pose a question to you all in desperation.
My family and I recently rescued a 1-year old Husky. We have a fairly spacious backyard to keep him in, but we have been having trouble as he continues to get out of the backyard whenever we leave the house.
First, he used his strength to push open one of our very tall gates. We reinforced the gate with a strong magnet to keep it shut.
Second, he used the wooden fence on the side of another gate to get traction and jump over it. We applied a smooth surface to remove the traction but he still manages.
Third, upon advisory from other Husky owners, we purchased a crate for him to stay in, but he managed to force his way out of the crate by breaking down the outside wall and escaping through a gap.
Fourth, we got an invisible fence, which he seemingly muscles through for the few seconds the deterrent is in effect, and can continue running.
So, my question is now: based on your guys' experiences or beliefs, do you think it would be best for us to (1) get a crate and zip-tie the walls together so he doesn't move? If so, put him inside or outside of the house? We are somewhat hesitant because it seems small (even though people say they enjoy being in them). Or, (2) should we just build him a sizable kennel for him to be in outside? Our hesitation there is it is a costly alternative.
Thank you so much for your help! We just want him to be safe and sound! | Husky keeps magically escaping from backyard - want advice on whether to get a crate or construct a kennel. Do not want him to be constrained but want him to be safe under our purview. Thank you! |
t3_1yopho | relationships | Finally dating close friend of 3.5 years. It's both our first relationship, not feeling like we are doing enough to get closer? | Me(male) and a close friend(female) have been friends for a long while now, and I asked her out 2 weeks ago and turns out we have both liked each other for a while. Neither of us have dated before and don't really know how to progress a relationship. One thing I have noticed after 2 weeks, a lot of your time we spend together is pretty much exactly as how we spent it as just regular friends, and we haven't been getting that much closer really... Is this normal? Am I being selfish for thinking this way? We are both 22 by the way, and both don't know what to do to progress as a couple, we hold hand's and cuddle and stuff, but that's about it.
Basically I am asking how to progress this relationship to be more like a relationship because I seriously am clueless. | close friends now in relationship, still acting like friends instead of a couple. |
t3_14eqzy | AskReddit | How much information is too much when involved with a survey? | I'm doing a research study over Men's personal care products that pays $175 for a two hour discussion. The catch is they want me to fill out 3 word document spread sheets before going on.
The first one was over my favorite brands, personal products and companies now, then and in the future. Now i'm on the second worksheet which is important people in your life. They want me to mix in friends, advisers, people I admire, girls I trust, girls I've dated, guys, celebrities and other role models with their name and picture. The final worksheet they want me to fill out is life stories. The life stories section wants me to include current love life details, happy life moments, milestone moments, group spend time moments, life achievements, unhappy moments and "other life moments" that are a part of the story.
Is this too much information to give out on my personal life or what should be expected in a Men's personal care study? | a personal care study is asking me to give them details on pretty much every aspect of my life. This is only my second study to be involved in, is this normal for them to ask so many details? |
t3_1smmfr | offmychest | I left my SO because of her depression | And I still feel bad about it…
It still feels strange thinking about it, being afraid to open the door to our shared apartment, having to stay up late to hear her cry, being ready comfort her at a moment's notice. Life felt like I was shoveling a thousand swimming pools, only for them to collapse.
Now I do not remember much of it. I remember the good times. Being an optimist is hard because only thinking about the good times brings that much contrast to the things we've lost. I thought that the moment I walked out I would feel an enormous weight slipping from my shoulders. Instead I feel old and the world feels old.
I still blame myself for leaving, but now I think that I was robbed as much as her. Depression is a terrible sickness that changes people and a perfectly good relationship was robbed from me by a sickness whose cause nobody understands fully. I lost her and she lost herself. I hope from all my heart that one day she will be fine.
Meanwhile this line from Agamemnon has given me a lot to think about:
In visions of the night, like dropping rain,
Descend the many memories of pain
Before the spirit's sight: through tears and dole
Comes wisdom o'er the unwilling soul | Relationships are hard, think before you move in. |
t3_hra3y | self | facebook status search feature...? | does facebook have a feature where you can search recently posted statuses for key words & bring them up based on accuracy of the search query compared with the characters in the post?....that would be cool...like for the big jim tressel news i could search "tressel" and all my friends' clever statuses about him would be listed based on accuracy of the relationship and/or frequency of the characters "tressel" ---it could even list first the most popular/commented/liked posts about "tressel", showing me the most popular statuses to me first -weeding out the pesky michigan fans' comments on the matter (because of the vast majority of my friends being osu fans, michigan fans' comments [unless unbelievably witty] would be 'unpopular' and way below the rest)...good idea? bad idea? am i rambling? lets hear your thoughts reddit... | i think facebook should have a status or post "search" feature. |
t3_23ptlz | relationships | I[21M] met a woman[39F] 2 weeks ago in the pub, not really sure what to do. | **First a bit of backstory on me:**
I came out of a serious, 6 and a half year relationship (ex is 21F) about 6 months ago, and I don't really feel ready to start "dating" or feel ready to get into any sort of emotional relationship at the moment, I have been going out just looking to have some fun and meet new people, trying to move on from my ex.
**Now my problem:**
I was down the pub Sunday before last (13th) with my friends celebrating a football win. Anyways, we were just dancing on the dance floor when I noticed this woman [39F]. We ended up dancing together, then kissing outside for a while. After a bit I said that I was going to get back to my friends, I said bye and I didn't get her number or anything like that.
However, last Sunday (20th) I was down the pub again with my friends and this same woman was there, similar thing happened, we danced for a bit and we kissed/fooled around for a bit. However, I ended up getting her number and giving her mine, now the only real communication we have had involved tongues and hands, we spoke a little bit, but nothing really detailed.
Like I say, I'm not looking for any sort of relationship and I'm not sure what this woman is looking for, as you can guess I am new to this so I don't really know how to approach her or bring up the subject without me sounding like some knobhead.
I'm rambling a bit here.
I guess I just don't want her to think that I am leading her on into this being more than I want it to be. Additionally, she and I seem to go to this pub quite regularly, so if something were to go tits up, chances are I would see her every time I went to the pub, which might be awkward?
Could do with some advice. | Met woman in pub, how do I let her know that I am just looking for sex and not a relationship? |
t3_roifx | AskReddit | A good friend admitted their love for me Friday night. I had to deny them. What course of action should I take now? | First of all, let me say, all the guys complaining about being in the friend zone, it's not the girls fault. I am a 21 yearold male and I certainly put this girl in the friend zone. I knew that at least some point she liked me, but I was real good friends with her and didn't want to ruin it, by confronting her about it.
Any way, Friday night, I had a small group of friends in my apartment for drinks. After everyone left or went to bed, my good friend starts pushing hard to hook up with me. I deny her for awhile, but eventually due to being drunk and almost pity for seeing my good friend get denied I hook up with her briefly. Pretty much immediately I invite her to go to my room to talk about this.
Here she admits tells me how she feels about me. I tell her I like her as a friend but just don't see that way. This type of conversation goes on for awhile. I felt terrible the whole time, because I didn't want to hurt her, and hated seeing her get denied.
Due to lack of judgment I let her sleep over in my bed. She starts trying to hook up with me again, and being drunk in a bed with a girl i start to return it. Then after a min of this, it really didn't feel right so I stopped, and said that told her I'm sorry but I just can't do this. She apologized for putting me in the position. I left my bed and slept on the couch for the night. She left before anyone woke back up, so i haven't seen her since.
I still care about her and want to make this as easy as possible for her. We both graduate college in a month and probably won't really see each other after. I haven't talked to her since, and I'm not sure what my next course of action should be. Should I try to ween myself out of her life to make it easier on her? Or should I try to go back to the friendship we had before, but that might be painful for her? | Girl admits her love to me, I deny her, not sure if i should ween myself out of her life or try to go back to normal. |
t3_ognf8 | AskReddit | Some SOPA related questions. | So, I was thinking about this whole funky situation the US is in right now with the SOPA/PIPA legislation and this got me to thinking. If the internet is (very loose definition here, don't get mad about this), a bunch of interconnected computer networks/computers, then why is the US going in and essentially policing what we choose to see?
The internet is not held by any one group or individual, and this very much so includes the United States. If it belongs to no one, then no one should say whether or not there is something wrong with it. This seems to me that the US is heading for a big-brother like situation and that this will soon lead to propaganda and such, in seeing that they are beginning to control what we are allowed to see. Granted that right now, they're just trying to protect copyrighted material, but that seems like a first step. | Why is the United States policing something no one owns? |
t3_3wvn0d | tifu | TIFU by not being aware of my surroundings | So this happened last week.
I am a college Junior and I am in a business communications course which is probably the most time consuming class I've taken in college.
Anyways... The way this course is designed is your group gets a real live client (a local organization) and you do some sort of consulting for them. You always get a Project Manager (usually a TA) who you report everything you do to, including a prescreen of the final presentation to our client -- which is where the fuck up happens.
Gearing up for our final presentation, our project manager (who we will call Gabe for the rest of this story) asked us to do the presentation for him before we present to the client. We all have extremely busy schedules, so the only time and place that worked for Gabe and the team was 9pm in one of the reservable group rooms at the library. Gabe had requested that we all show up in business professional attire (suit + tie) to this practice presentation, which we were all very unhappy about.
The team meets up at the library to go over the material and continue working before presenting to Gabe around 5, so of course none of us show up in a suit 4 hours ahead of time. Come 8:45pm I decide its time to go change in the bathroom before Gabe gets there. After an extremely sweaty and unpleasant 8 or so minutes getting dressed, I am now in my suit but very unhappy that I'm in it at 9pm at the library. It's only 8:53 so I figure I have some time to express my unhappiness to my team before Gabe gets there, so I walk into the room and yell "FUCK GABE" 3 times, each with more frustration.
After complete silence I look up and Gabe is sitting in the room with my entire team which had neglected to tell me that he had arrived early... Needless to say it was the most awkward presentation of my life and Gabe wasn't to happy even after I explained it was all about the suit. | I didn't scan the room and let everyone know that my project manager is a dick (including him) |
t3_24obaz | relationships | I [21 M] want to know how to help my friend [also 21 M] get over a bad breakup | The girlfriend of one my best friends told me today that she's done with their relationship and will break up with him in the next few days. They have been dating for over a year and my close friend loves her, probably expects to marry her, and isn't really expecting a breakup (though they've had a few rocky moments lately).
I'm fairly certain this will devastate him, and I don't know what to do beyond listening to him, giving him a shoulder to cry on if he needs it. We can smoke together (I figure that's better than alcohol). I don't know. | title |
t3_m2wgk | relationships | How do I relax back into my relationship now my partner isn't depressed? | 27 (M), been with 30 (F) for about 18 months. My girlfriend has had inconclusive cancer tests for about 9 months now.
While that news would be scary enough for anyone, she has beaten it before and knows what could be ahead of her. This has made her depressed and withdrawn, emotionally and physically. 2011 has basically been me going to her house and trying to support her through such a scary time.
With my gentle urging she has started seeing a psychologist, which has really helped her. She is now really coming out of her depression, to the point that she is being warm and affectionate, even initiating physical contact again. Now that these things are happening, I am finding myself getting really down, as I'm realising how much I've missed it for so long. I know that this is counterproductive, as things are just starting to get better for her, and us.
How do I move on from feeling sad/resentful about how hard the last year has been? It's not her fault at all, but I've felt insecure about her feelings for me due to her withdrawal. While she was depressed, she put on an act with her friends that she was fine, so I saw her acting with others the way I wished she would act with me. Even though I knew she was acting, it sucked. | I know my GF loves me and wants to be with me, but I'm insecure and hurt as a result of her withdrawal during (totally understandable) depression. How do I relax? |
t3_1kmdaj | relationships | I (33M) and thinking of breaking up with my GF (32F). Not sure if it's premature on my part....if not, when is the best time to do it? | We have been together since late April. I tend to fall for someone quickly but that wasn't the case here (this was actually kind of a relief). However...here we are coming up on 4 months in and I wouldn't say I'm crazy about her. I like spending time with her but, for example, if she or I go away for a few days, I wouldn't say I miss her.
I also get the vibe that she's way more into me than I am into her. So much so that we had a talk a couple months in where I said that, if she had said, "I love you," to me that I wouldn't be able to say it back. It was a good talk and she said she was in the same place...so great....but my position on this has not changed and I don't know that it will.
So...my two quick questions:
1. As someone who, as mentioned, tends to fall for someone fast and hard....do I just need to let this play out longer? Is this kind of timeline really more normal than I realize?
2. If I am going to break up with her, what's the best day to do that? On a Friday so she has the weekend to get over it or on a Sunday when she can just go to work the next day and get into a routine? She has a weekend getaway coming up with some friends....wait until after that or maybe before when she can be around her friends for a while? (clearly, I'm not often the one doing the dumping in the relationship....) | Not sure I feel as strong about my GF as I should. Should I break up with her and, if so, when? |
t3_1g79wz | GetMotivated | 20+ pounds gone in 14 days. Inspired from something I read here. | I have been trying and failing to lose weight for a couple years. I would do a workout routine for about a week, then quit. I would eat non stop (I worked in a bakery), drink 2 bottles of pepsi daily and never exercise. I was not happy with how I felt.
Until two weeks ago. I read something (I forget who posted, sorry) about not trying to lose weight, but instead trying to get healthy. It sparked something in me and I decided to try it out.
After 14 days I didn't eat greasy foods or sweets, instead had fruits/vegetables/rice/beans/etc. I never over ate or ate before going to bed. I drank only water and lots of it. I exercised daily and worked out every other day.
I reached my two week target in 10 days, and I feel great. I've received some negative treatment about it from the people I live with, probably because they too struggle with weight, but I am not letting it get to me. | I decided to get healthy instead of just losing weight. 20+lbs gone in 14 days. |
t3_4r0a0i | relationships | I [29 M] feels like my live-in GF [22F] is using her upcoming NCLEX exam as an excuse to be selfish | I know my GF is probably freaking out about this exam. She has a good amount of debt to pay off and she needs to land a job. Yes, this is a lot of stress. I have been doing my best to reduce her stress (leave her alone, buy her food, etc) But I have needs too.
Today I came home from working for 12 hours. She was playing video games when I came home. She said she couldn't focus on studying.I left her alone for a few hours and mentioned I'd like to cuddle and watch Netflix sometime tonight. I even offered a back rub to sweeten the deal. No, she'd rather play the game. I was welcome to watch her play and cuddle her while she played though.
I'm sorry, but that situation just doesn't make me feel very good. I tried explaining that I know she's stressed and I have been doing my best to be accommodating (she only wants me to leave her alone basically), but I have needs too. I literally only wanted an hour of her time (one Netflix episode and cuddles) to recharge my own batteries. Cuddling and quality time makes me feel good. However, evidently *I* am the selfish one for wanting *my* specific way of recharging my batteries. I don't think I am out of line here. Am I? | Am I being unreasonable or is she being selfish? |
t3_iojka | loseit | An NSV worth mentioning | So there I was, 25 minutes ago, sitting at my desk at work, messing around on reddit. When, all of a sudden, the most horrendous splitting pain started grasping my entire digestive tract.
I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall, thought about crying. Then, I ripped my pants off as quickly as I could and took a very relaxing and relieving number 2.
Anyway, I finished up my business and went to pull my pants back up. In my fury, I had undone my belt but did not undo my button.
These pants, which were fairly form-fitting when I bought them a couple of months ago, are now removable without unbottoning. | AWWWWW YEEEAHHH |
t3_2vz3e2 | relationship_advice | How do I [19F] get over my professor [20/30sM] that I've never even talked to? [X-Post from r/relationships] | This is the second semester I've had this professor, and I'm completely infatuated with everything about him. I've always been really shy, so I honestly can't even bring myself to talk to him. I've never really been one to raise my hand and talk in class, and that hasn't changed in his class either.
He's young, attractive, extremely smart and funny, i know he's not married or anything, and from what he talks about in class, we have a lotttt of things in common. All of that makes it hard to see us being together as unrealistic.
I'm not sure if i should try to bring myself to talk to him [I'd have no idea how, I'm pretty quiet/shy], or just get over it. This is my last semester I'll be able to have him as a professor, so i only have until spring. any advice? :( | infatuated with a professor i've had for two semesters, never talked to him, but i know we have a lot in common. should i just get over it? |
t3_35y3ag | relationships | Me [29 M] trying to make the first move on a girl [23 F] | I met this girl last year at an event. We talked for a little bit, exchanged first names, and she mentioned an organization she was part of. Later on, when I got home, I googled the organization and found her picture on a flyer along with her last name.
I sent her a friend request along with a message saying it was nice talking with her. She accepted and sent a message back a few days later saying it was nice talking with me as well.
We've been typical Facebook friends, I like her stuff, she likes mine. We geek out over the same stuff. I'd like to ask her to do something, but I feel like I'd come off like a creeper doing so.
There's the age difference, the fact we haven't interacted in person since that event last year, and the fact that I don't want to come off as only having spoken with her because I want something.
When it comes to just fooling around, I do pretty well. I flirt, I tease, and I have a great time. When I don't care, I do great. Yet, in this case I kind of do care.
We're not close enough where I could tease and flirt without the chance of coming off as creepy, but if I get too close, then I become a close friend and nothing else. | Met a girl, really great conversation. Talk on Facebook. Want to find a way to take things further without being weird. |
t3_26mpeg | loseit | Can only eat liquid foods for 1 week+, at a loss for what to do. | So I've been kind of on-off dieting for a while now and this year I've list about 10 pounds, but slowed drastically the last few months because of depression, etc, etc.
Now I back on the horse and I've lost 3/4 pounds these last two weeks or so and I'm pretty happy about it but after Thursday I have to make a pretty drastic change and in not sure what to do it what foods to eat!
This is because I'm getting my braces on (stupidly late) and I've been told by my dentist/ others who have had braces that I won't really be able to eat solid food for around a week, just soft things.
I've been brainstorming ideas but I can't really think of much I can do apart from mash potatoes, soups and smoothies so I'm at a loss and I need your help!
I'm on a diet of around 1250 calories per day WBC usually includes lots of veggies and excercise but obviously I've been advised to not do to much of that either! Having said that I'm going on a 12 mile round hike this weekend so I obviously need to keep my energy up so advice for that would be great too!
Thanks! | have to sustain a liquid diet for 1week+ but not sure what foods I need or will be able to eat. |
t3_1ufkbw | personalfinance | Is this a bad time to invest in index funds? | Hi, I recently hit a personal savings goal and I'm looking to put some of my saved money into a better place than holding it as cash. I have more than enough for a six month emergency fund, have already maxed out my Roth IRA for 2013 and 2014, and contribute the maximum amount to my 401k. I'm currently holding about $40k in cash.
I'd like to put my extra cash into index funds, since I don't have any short-term items I'm saving for and don't plan to need the money soon. However, the market seems to be at a historical high, and the Federal Reserve beginning its "tapering" of asset buying seems likely to cause a dip. This leads me to think it might not be a great time to get into the market.
Additionally, I'm unsure of how to allocate my potential investments. I'm already following a "lazy portfolio" for my Roth IRA, consisting of about 40% in the S&P 500, 40% in the Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund, and 20% in the Vanguard Total Bond Market Index Fund. If I were to do the same funds in my non-IRA account, I feel like I'd be doubling my risk...but I also feel like my risk is diversified enough to be essentially a "total market" risk, so I don't know if that can be avoided? | I want to reduce my cash holdings and I think index funds might be a good way to do this, but I'm not sure if this is a good time to buy into the stock market or which funds to choose. Any thoughts? |
t3_b93gt | AskReddit | Google Chrome lagging on reddit? | I recently switched from Firefox to Chrome (due to a few bugs that have gotten too irritating for me to use FF) and have been pretty pleased with what I've found. Really, the only complaint I have (unfortunately pretty major) is how chrome works on reddit. I can't seem to figure out how to fix this bug.
What happens is, whenever I click a link to comments on reddit, my browser will lag out for ~20 seconds and not allow me to do anything on reddit. I can't click links, can't scroll--basically what you would expect during a lockup; *however*, I can still switch tabs and navigate *other* websites when the freeze is occurring on reddit. The rotating-loading symbol is present on the reddit tab. As soon as the freeze ends, all of the actions I tried to do during the "loading" will abruptly happen (right click menus will open, a name I accndently clicked will load...) This only happens when I click to read the comments--links work fine. I have not found this occurring on other websites.
It's becoming very irritating. I have to wait 20~ seconds inbetween each click of the comments and am now considering returning to FF, just to avoid this. Has anyone experienced something similar? If so, what did you do to cause it?
Oh, and the extensions I use are: Adblock, Mouse Stroke, Tabs to the Front!, TooManyTabs, and WOT. | reddit makes Chrome lag out for several seconds whenever I click to read comments. I can still use other tabs during this "freezing," but reddit is unresponsive. It happens on all "comment" pages. Help! |
t3_1wsfip | relationships | Me [26 M] with my [33 F] Englishman living in Mexico... stuck | It is complicated so I will use Bullet points.
*I moved to Mexico 6 months ago and I met her in my first week
*She is desperate for a child and marriage -> I am not ready
*She is bossy I am rebellious
*She enjoys parties I enjoy being anti-social
*I don't speak Spanish -> Conversation is difficult at times
Positives
* She accepts me and is very caring
* We enjoy our times together and have not been apart in 6 months
*
I have social anxiety... and we always argue about me wanting to stay in... and her wanting to go out and party...
Do you think that staying with her and overcoming the anxiety is a good idea (if possible)
or... are we so different that it is not worth while.... | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_15j02s | running | Overwhelmed by technique and shoe choice. Help? | I have been a long time cyclist as well as competing for my university in rowing, but I have always been troubled by running. I think I 'want' to like it more then I really do. Recently, after reading Born to Run (just like every other would be runner) I have been interested in modifying my style of running from the traditional heel-strike to a more efficient fore-foot strike to hopefully enjoy it more. I have been reading about several different running techniques that I'm sure all have heard about such as chi running, POSE. It seems though, that the more that I run and the more I try to think about my technique the more frustrated I become. Also I have only run about 25km in the past week and aside from the expected calf soreness, my Achilles and some pain near, but just below and to the inside of my left knee have started to protest. Did anyone have a painful 'transformation' of their running style and an almost 'golf' level of frustration with technical issues.
Furthermore, I have been looking at investing in perhaps a more minimal shoe then my current and old Saucony's. I have been reading about the NB minimus, Merrel road glove, Nike Free's ect. I was advised to start a moderate heel drop (4mm-8mm) when trying out these new shoes but would it be okay to go right to a NB Minimus Zero and work up slowly? Any other shoe ideas? | Running is as frustrating technically as golf or rowing and I can't decide on shoes. Anyone else feel the same? |
t3_415v47 | personalfinance | 18 year old trying to build credit using a secured credit card, denied because of insufficient income? | Hi, I am an 18 year old freshman in college. I figured now was a good time to start building credit in my life. I applied for a secured credit card through capital one. I was denied because "Based on your credit report from one or more of the agencies on the back of this letter, income is insufficient for requested credit" My income is $3,000 a year (I work a part time job at Hannaford.) According to the back of the paper my credit score is 733. Which I don't see as a bad credit score. so I am very confused as to why I was denied. | I was denied a secured credit card because of insufficient income. |
t3_pd2de | AskReddit | On Friday I left £100 in an ATM. What is your most ridiculous "I am an idiot" story? | I went to a local shop on Friday and withdrew £100 from the ATM. I was a little distracted by a text message and walked away with my card and forgot the money. It wasn't till I got to the cash register with my shopping that I realised my purse was empty. The money was gone when I went to check the machine (apparently it gives you 15 seconds to take the money and then it sucks it back in). The money should be back in my account in a few days, but I still feel like a complete idiot. So I'm wondering what stupid/absent-minded/idiotic things other redditors have done so I don't feel so alone in my foolishness. | Left money in ATM, I am an idiot. |
t3_16zwug | relationship_advice | I [17/m] get this dull sense of jealousy OF my gf [17/f] and it has happened before.. | So I do not get jealous of her concerning other guys. I am secure enough to know that she'll be loyal. But for some reason whenever I get a girlfriend I mentally dwell on the things she can do that I can't, like playing an instrument or cooking. I don't understand why I care, I know I'm being competitive and that I shouldn't. Is this insecurity? I've always relied on being intelligent as my thing and she is very smart too which is why I like her. But my ex-gf was not so intelligent and I still felt jealous of what she was better than me at. I don't let it show and I don't become a dick about it but how do I learn to not care? | how do I stop being jealous of my girlfriend's unique talents? |
t3_1nv4gm | relationships | Me [40 M] with my partner [31/F] 3 years, said she loves me but not in love with me. Does that always mean the worst? | Three years in, admittedly I said it to her first a while ago during an argument. Things started out great but we've had some tough spots. Due to some depression/PTSD issues I've had and I finally agreed to see a therapist and things have been improving greatly.
We've both recognised that we want to see how this goes, if things rebound back as things stabilize.
My question is, has anyone else got to the "I love you but I am not in love with you" stage and come back from it? Also, I have read that when someone says that to you it can often mean they have met someone else or are thinking of it. I'd be interested to hear from people if they've found that to be so. | Had some trouble, in therapy now and things seem to be improving but unsure of the future given some of the things we've said to each other. |
t3_2tt7vw | relationships | I told my girlfriend [18/F] that she had small breasts. | I'm 19 and a male. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now on Valentine's day. A couple months ago I told my girlfriend that she had small breasts by comparing hers to another friend of ours [19/F] saying our friends' breasts were bigger. I was very high off of Adderall/Xanax and at this point I go overboard with my so-called "honesty."
This is not acceptable behavior and not an excuse for my insult to my girlfriend. Ever since I said it I've felt incredibly awful about it but this isn't about me.
My girlfriend is self-conscious and insecure about her breasts and occasionally she'll be reminded all-of-the-sudden that I had said it. She gets incredibly depressed and I tell her that "I'm sorry, I wish I had never said it" but she says "Well, you still said it."
While couples usually get over the fights that they have with each other and move on, she hasn't. I don't blame her. Every time a moment like this occurs, where she's randomly reminded of that night a couple months ago, I comfort her and do what I can to calm her down. I feel like if these feelings keep occurring that comforting won't do the trick anymore.
I love this girl so much. Whenever we aren't together I feel like these thoughts come up and I can't be there for her when she needs me the most. I know I can't go back on what I said. I regret it but that doesn't matter.
So my question is: is there anything that I can do for my girlfriend to make her feel more confident about her breasts/overall body? She's the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on and I want her to know this. I care about her too much to have her keep being reminded of her own boyfriend insulting her most insecure part of her body. I hate myself for what I've done and I want to fix this! | Insulted my girlfriend by calling out her most insecure body part. Months later she isn't over it and I want her to be able to love herself. |
t3_1k6fy0 | relationship_advice | 22/m gf 20/f : First time breaking up, feelings normal? | (first post, Ill try and make it good)
Last week I broke up with my girlfriend of five months. This is the first time Ive broken up with someone. ( second girlfriend, but first time I did the breaking up ) At first Everything felt amazing, but a month or so two leading up to the breakup I was having feelings of...guilt? I felt that I was lying when I would tell her "i like you" and other "cute" things. During the day I would mostly feel good about us, but laying in bed at night I would have thoughts of breaking up and anxiety.
A month or so before we broke up I told her I wasn't feeling the same and wasn't sure why. I explained how I felt like I was lying and my night time anxiety. She was obviously a little hurt, but we continued on having a great time together, that's where things get tricky. I have the best time of my life with her. We laugh together we goof around we're ourselves and understand the other perfectly, so why would I feel the need to end it? I couldn't take the anxiety and guilt and eventually broke up with her. Now I find myself thinking about her non stop and yearning to talk to her. I think shes great and we clicked so well from the first day we met. I know five months doesn't seem long but the way we clicked it feels like forever.
Is it normal for me to be confused as to whether we should try again or not? To want to talk to her so bad? Do you think breaking you was the right choice? | broke up with someone for the first time, dont know if was right choice. |
t3_2l2chp | relationship_advice | [19/m] I find it hard to express myself romantically. | I won't take much of your time.
I'm 19 yo male and I've never been in a relationship. I'm not bad looking or stupid and generally I'm great at making friends.
Even though I understand the way someone is supposed to act in a relationship I find it terribly hard to ask a girl out or (and mainly) act in a 'romantic' way (get physical) around her, to show my interest, even though thoughts like: 'We would be great together.' pop into my mind.
I've tried to push myself to ask out girls I don't like very much, kinda successfully (since they agreed and we has a nice time), but it's very hard for me to make a move on a girl I don't really like very much.
Any help? | Can't ask out the girls I **really** like and make a move. |
t3_52ohai | relationships | [M 27] Falling hard for a girl [23] who has been treated terribly by guys in the past. How to prove to her that I'm not like the others? | We met a month ago and I think I'm falling in love with this girl. We have been taking trips together almost every weekend since we met. Last week i told her that I have real feelings for her and she said she felt the same.
She has confided in me that she has been abused physically, emotionally, and sexually by almost all of her past boyfriends so she has a pretty big guard up and doesnt trust her own instincts with men anymore. She is very hesitant to jump into anything with me. I can tell she is keeping me at arms length during the week but she is always happy to go on weekend adventures with me.
Upon learning about her horrible relationships i was shocked that anyone could treat her that way. She has the sweetest demeanor i have seen in a long time. I just want to show her the way she deserves to be treated but i just dont know how to prove to her that i can be trusted. She tells me that she will just have to watch how i behave and that nothing i promise her can be trusted because "thats what they have all said" and its always turned out very badly for her.
Can any of you women out there give me some perspective on this? Im not trying to trick her or put on a show to get in her pants. I truly want to make her happy and be the one to treat her like the amazing, beautiful, strong woman that she is. I am trying my absolute best not to mess this up so please, any advice is appreciated. | Girl im falling for has major trust issues/abusive relationship history. Feelings are mutual, but need advice on how to show her i can be trusted. |
t3_1cbh6c | relationships | I [25M] wonder if the reason my best friend who I want to date [20F] is only turned off by my weight, and... maybe I should just ask? Save me if that's a bad idea. | Met this 20-year-old by going on a date with her a year and a half ago, then in the last six months we've gotten to be better and better friends until now I would say she's my best friend, and I'm also just SO interested in her romantically...
Okay. I'm coming to grips with this kind of. This lady is my best friend, and we've talked about me liking her, but she said she isn't interested in me that way. Said it had crossed her mind since we get along so well, but no dice. That was months ago that I first talked to her about my feelings.
Okay. So I'm about 75 pounds overweight. Been doing a lot of self-improvement, and am now trying to admit to myself that that may be why she's not interested. Should I ask her if that's why? We get along so well together, and the only thing I can think of that would specifically be a turn-off would be my weight. I get that she might just not be interested, but what if that's the reason? What is the best way of dealing with this?
And she reads Reddit a lot so I hope she doesn't run into this... | I like a lovely lady who doesn't reciprocate my feelings, although we're otherwise very close, and I honestly think she's just not attracted because I'm overweight. Would it be smart to talk to her about that? Or is there anything else I can do (while I work on losing it)? |
t3_zhrdu | relationships | Stay friends with ex who has my virginity? | I'm gonna keep it short and sweet, you can ask questions if you choose.
Me [F18], ex [M18]. Dated guy for 3 months. Had sex within that 3rd month probably twice. I have wanted to save my virginity for my future husband so im feeling bittersweet.
We "mutually" broke up, he really broke up with me and we agreed to stay friends. I hung out with him once the week after, then we had two weeks out of the country away from eachother. I breifly chatted with him when I got back at a mutual gathering of friends and now its been 3 weeks of no talking whatsoever.
I dont know if I should try to keep a friendship with him or just cut him out. Im still a little hurt and seeing him might make it worse. But I do want to be his friend... I think.
Another thing, when we broke up, he said there was a chance we could date in the future. I've pretty well convinced myself I do not want to, but im kinda old-fashioned and want to be with the one who has my virginity.
If he is a nice guy then I want to be his friend but he could be a lying asshole and I will just never know cause from what he says hes nice.
Suggestions? | Lost my virginity to ex. He broke up with me. Its been a month and we havent really talked. We said we would be friends tho and I kinda want his friendship, should I put any effort into a friendship? |
t3_2yduaq | tifu | TIFU by throwing a party | So..i threw a party yesterday. It sent well, nothing broke or got lost. But about an hour ago i thought to myself..where is our cat?
I put so much shit away that i didnt want to get lost or stolen. But i fucking forgot to put our cat in a locked room. So someone probably let the cat out, not a big problem really. But the thing is that our cat has only been inside for like the last 4 years.
So now im just sitting on the couch feeling really bad about this shit. I lost our fucking cat. | threw a party and now my cat is gone.. |
t3_gzz3c | AskReddit | Movies referencing other movies, and the contradictions therein | Whenever a film or TV show references another film or TV show, does anyone else try and see if that reference was possible without causing a contradiction or breaking the fourth wall?
For example, say TV Show X references Movie Y. Because they did this, everything related to Movie Y must exist in the world of Show X. Here is something that might cause a contradiction: You went to the IMDB page of Movie Y, saw that Actor A in that movie co-starred with Actor B in another movie, and saw that Actor B costarred in another movie with Actor C, and saw that Actor C was in a film with Actor D. But Actor D is someone playing a character in Show X. Hence, by referencing Movie Y, Show X has created a contradiction where, not only does a character exist in this world, but also his actor.
Another example could be the following: Movie A references Movie B, who references Movie C, so on and so on. We follow the chain until we get to a movie that contradicts Movie A. For example, say in Movie A donuts don't exist. Yet, in Movie D, someone eats a donut. A contradiction has occurred. | Fiction 1 can contradict itself by referencing other fiction 2. Not because fiction 2 directly contradicts fiction 1, but because something fiction 2, in turn references, contradicts fiction 1. |
t3_gaq8l | AskReddit | Maybe I'm just being a little paranoid but I'm flipping out right now ): Reddit, Help!!! What can I face for doing this? | I went to visit a person i know. Whenever he wanted to get food, he would whip out some gift cards that he had and we'd basically get the food for free.
Honestly, I didn't mind it all that much just because I didn't really care and i'm not rich at all -_-. But it turns out that the online delivery site that brought him the food found out he was using gift cards to pay for all of his stuff and so now, they are saying he committed credit fraud.
He got the gift cards from work.
From what I hear, a lot of the employees are in on it too and the managers know about it but don't care. The gift cards are supposed to be handed out to customers of the place he works or something like that but the employees/managers just take 'em.
Him, being a nice guy, wouldn't hoard up the cards, and if a bro was hungry, he'd lend him a couple cards to pay for the meal.
Anyways, he's spent about $500 of gift cards on food.
While I was there, I used a little over $50, making an account for myself.
I'm just wondering how much i can face. Seriously, I'm not stingy, I feel like I should just call them and be like "sorry, I didn't really think farther than free food. I'd be more than willing to pay what I owe" but I can't say 1. I didn't know that he wasn't supposed to have the cards (technically i didn't because i thought his manager was cool with him taking it, at least that is what he told me. also, i don't want to throw my friend under the bus by basically telling him to fend for himself) and 2. i'm sort of hoping they just overlook me because I didn't spend all that much? (this really is bugging me.. should i call? should i not call? i really want to talk to my friend beforehand if i choose to)..
so what do, Reddit? +anyone know how severe this can blow up to be? x_x | friend had giftcards, we used to buy food. now company is threatening to charge with credit fraud. i want to just pay off what i owe with no legal mess but iono if things work out that well as they do in my head = =;; what do? |
t3_31nded | relationships | Do I (25M) tell her (23F) how I really feel, even though I probably know the outcome? | So I have known this girl pretty much her whole life, we were really good friends in High School but was put in the friend zone. I went to college and we didn't get to be around each other much. I am now close to her to where I want to let her know that I still have strong feelings for her and they never really changed, but I am almost certain that if I do tell her I will be shot down immediately. Wanted to see what everyone thought and if there was good way of telling her my feelings? | I really like a girl I have known most of my life and want to tell her and not sure how to tell her, and will probably be shot down when I do it. |
t3_3s7l9e | relationships | I [24 F] found photos of my boyfriend of 2 year's [24m] ex on his phone. | His ex is a huge issue with us. I've always felt inadequate compared to her because, unbekownst to me, I started dating my boyfriend only 2 months after they broke up and there were issues of him having feelings for her still in the beginning of our relationship.
He assures me these feelings are gone. He tells me all the time he loves me. His phone recently broke, and he's had to go back to a phone he was using when they were dating.
I did the bad thing and snooped (NOT typical.) There's naked photos of his ex on there.
He's currently doing a no porn/no fap thing, but he recently admitted he wanted to see if there were still some photos on his phone, and he acknowledged that there were. When I asked why he didn't delete them, he said that he would have to open them and look at them to delete them (very old phone), and his other reason was that when / if he starts to look at porn again, he might want to look at them.
There were only 2 photos in there that weren't his ex. I shouldn't have, but I deleted them, I couldn't help it. I don't fully believe he's stopped looking at porn anyways, so I figure he'll find out sooner than later.
I'm really upset. I don't know what to do. He knows this is a huge issue for me, and I think it's fucked up he'd want to look at naked photos of his ex when they're supposed to be friends now. What do I do? Do I confront him? | Naked photos of an ex. He wanted to look at them. |
t3_izri5 | self | Ladies, please have some balls. | Two weeks back I had a somewhat promising outing with a ladyfriend I'd found on OKC. I thought we had a good time (at least, I did) and she left me with the line "If you hear about anything fun going on, let me know." Two weeks later, she's ignored a message I sent a few days after the date, deleted her OKC profile, and unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm not upset that she's not interested; it was one date. I'm upset that she couldn't fucking *TELL* me she wasn't interested. How hard is that? Instead, I have to waste time hoping you'll respond and fucking stalk you to figure out what's going on.
So for god's sake, ladies, grow some balls. Go ahead, tell me I'm a fat fuck, or that I'm boring, or that I'm weird. It's better than making me wait and wonder. | I tell women to be more forward and honest by writing a passive-aggressive post anonymously on the internet |
t3_lfh0g | AskReddit | Women of Reddit, is it welcome to get compliments from random strangers? | I have been wondering this for quite a while now, as I've come across quite a few girls in my area that I'd just like to give a compliment to, or make a comment to. (And at least one that I would love to tell she is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen.)
What I'm talking about are comments along the lines of "I have to tell you that you have beautiful eyes", or "You look very lovely/nice today".
What I'm NOT talking about are things like "Lemme holla atchya girl!" or "Damn, I'd tear that ass up!" as it seems like I hear a lot of horror stories about things like that from girls I know. | Is it socially acceptable/welcome to [* |
t3_3twv6c | relationships | Me [34 M] with my gf [32 F] living together 5 years, I'm confused. Have a huge crush on a friend [32 F] | I'm pretty confused and uncomfortable these days. I'm going through a big life transition at the moment, about to finish grad school and considering what is next. I've been with my gf for 5 years now, pretty much living together the whole time.
We sort of skipped the dating part, went from friends to friends with benefits to living together. I feel like I sort of missed out on the part of the relationship with butterflies and flowers and awkward dates and all that fun stuff. We got in a big fight the other day about how I am not romantic enough and don't show her enough affection, and it really made me think about this. I sort of realized that while I do completely love her, I feel like we are really good friends and maybe that romantic thing isn't there.
Throw into the mix, or maybe this was the thing that really started me thinking. There is a friend in my grad program who is amazing. Super smart, super funny, laughs at my dumb joke, and way way too pretty to ever have any interest in me. I realized I had a little crush on her sometime last year, but we've spent a lot of time working together since august and I've fallen hard. I have all of those feelings, the butterflies when I see her, etc, etc.
I am not really thinking about trying to pursue anything with the crush. That isn't my question. I am just really confused about my relationship with my gf. I feel like the cliche lover her but not in love with her thing applies. The crush just made me think about the feelings that I don't have. I just spent 3 hours talking about a lot of this with my gf, just sort of left out the crush part since they know each other and I don't want to make that weird, and I'm even more confused now. Please help reddit. | In a Long term relationship, feeling like I might not have like romantic type affection for her despite loving her. What should I do? |
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