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t3_iujra | AskReddit | Can you bring a dog somewhere prohibited (in CA, USA) and just claim it is a guide dog? | So I work food service at a coffee shop in southern California and a quite obviously not handicapped lady walks in with a very small dog. I said, sorry ma'am this is a kosher establishment (Coffee Bean), you cannot bring that little dog in. She took offense and claimed it was her "guide dog" quite bluntly. I replied, it has no indication, can I see some proof? She responded she didn't need to show proof and if we refuse to let her do it, she can sue our establishment. I--not giving a single fuck--responded whatever, keep the dog. This example illustrates knowledge is power. So legal eagles of Reddit tell me, what are the laws protecting and regulating guide dogs in the US, and particularly California?
It is important to note if the law protects a guide dog owners rights to enter any establishment furnishing no proof either by visual disability, paper work, etc, that means I can take a dog into any establishment and claim such with all the power. This would effectively eliminate the need for guide dog laws anyway. | Can I bring a dog into any establishment in southern California and claim it a guide dog while furnishing no proof? |
t3_31e8ob | tifu | TIFU by shitting myself on a train. | Too lazy to make a throwaway and nobody knows my reddit user anyways so here goes.
So today reddit I got up at 5:30 to catch the train to my 8:00 am university class when the unthinkable happened. I felt an overwhelming desire to evacuate my bowels. Of course I did what any proud man would do, clench and wait for the next stop to go to the toilet. I put it off for a bit and thought everything was going to be fine, but I was so wrong. So very wrong. My stomach wrenched as I clenched the brown back door, but alas it was not enough to hold back the brown behemoth. My bowels immediately evacuated themselves and the stench of feces filled the train. I profusely apologised to those around me who proceeded to get up from their seats and move away. I made my way to the bathroom after getting off at the next stop only to be stopped by a security guard who offered to help me (thank god). I had to enter the bathroom and wash my shorts off of all the matter that lay inside them. The journey home was a wet, and smelly one at that. If you're out there random security guard, thank you for helping me in my time of need. | Shit myself on the train, security guard scared for life. |
t3_3idrq8 | books | I was wondering if someone could clarify something about semi-rare book prices and sales | Hi everyone, I'm a long time listener, first time caller.
A year ago a 4 volune set of my favorite tale, The Count of Monte Cristo, came into my possession. It's a 2nd edition 1892 Little Brown publication and each volume has green covers and intricate maroon stenciling.
Unfortunately I'm fresh out of college, in between jobs (read: a humanities major), and in need of some cash. I've sold off my old video games and have been in the process of documenting the value of my possessions.
This brings me to my question. Those 4 volumes are allegedly valued at $400-500 online, but honestly I have a hard time believing that. However, if this is true, I would like to sell them since I am most attached to the story and not the least bit bound by its binding.
My | questions: how much are these books really worth (are the other sellers just greedy/optimistic), and how does one go about selling them? |
t3_5059qi | dogs | [Discussion] Review of Pupbox and Barkbox | I thought I'd post a quick review of both these subscription boxes as we've had both.
PupBox is good for first time, puppy owners. The best part of this subscription is each month you get a fact sheet about what might be going on at that age. It give tips and tricks to deal with common issues like teething and socialization. It also give training tips and two or three skills to work on that month. You also get a few toys, treats and grooming products each month. The toys and treats are supposedly selected based on size of dog, hair length and city vs country dweller. Overall, I was less impressed with the quality of the toys from PupBox. Several of them seemed very old/cheep. For example there were two balls on seperate occasions that crumbled into dust. We also had a few issues where they sent very small items for our very large dog. They did give us a coupon code to replace some of the toys and from then on the correct size was sent.
BarkBox is in my opinion a better subscription. The quality of the toys are better, more interesting and less repeats. The treats are also more varied and look like they taste better :|. Each month there is cute theme and all the items reflect that. Here the items are selected based on the size of the dog and we haven't had any issues there yet. They also have Destroyers club where you post images on instagram of toys after your dog has had its way with them and you get credits for replacements. Our fluff monster destroys toys in a matter of minutes so this is quite helpful. If you are interested here is a coupon code: MDT75YSB8M you get one free box and so does my Fluff monster. | PupBox might be better for a new puppy owner. If you have an adult dog get BarkBox |
t3_wmzc3 | AskReddit | What was one of the craziest things you had seen in school? I'll start. (Possibly NSFW) | One day I was sitting in math class not yet awake enough yet to really concentrate. We had a substitute teacher who was pretty nice and chill which was a nice contrast to our normal teacher. There was one dude in my class who was always quit, not like awkward and shy quiet but this dude was fucking creepy quiet. When he did speak it was only to say something fucked up or kinda funny, and he never spoke before he did anything weird. So about halfway through this class the sub gets bored and just starts talking to us all asking us random questions about stuff we like, what we do for fun, etc etc. Without warning this guy stands up, walks over to her desk and just starts jerking off like crazy. It was so sudden and crazy no one could look away, right before he finished he looks around the room and then stares the sub dead in the eyes before jizzing all over her desk and in the trashcan. After that he doesn't even zip up or anything he just fucking leaves with his dick still out. We never saw him again. | maniacal man juice maths misadventure. |
t3_4dq1pn | askwomenadvice | How can I find something to look forward to? | Right now I'm enrolled in a degree where I have to work pretty hard -- I leave the house at around 7am and get back at around 10:30pm, with pretty much all the intervening time being either class, study or public transport. This is pretty much the level which I need to be at to do well. But I'm not complaining about my degree -- I knew what I was getting into when I started, and I want to see it through.
The thing is, lately I've found it harder and harder to keep on going and life is a drag, because I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I think I would be fine working as hard as I am now if I had something good coming up, but I don't. By the time I get home from class, I'm too tired to do anything other than browse the internet idly and then go to bed. My friends are all either in similar degrees or out of state, so I can only see them a few times a year. I have hobbies and I love music, but usually I'm either too tired, sleep-deprived or have too much work to do to enjoy them much.
I'd really like to find something healthy, because my current "thing to look forward" to is binge-eating awful food, which makes me feel terrible afterwards (and I usually starve myself the next day as punishment). I know the usual advice is to save an hour on the weekend to do something for myself, but one hour of free time just doesn't seem like enough to get excited about, especially since I usually spend most of such breaks either feeling guilty about not working or dreading getting back to work in 40, 30, 20 minutes...
Thanks in advance for any advice. Sorry for such a long post. | life is a drag and I can't seem to find anything healthy to look forward to to keep me going. What can I do? |
t3_2cyxev | relationships | Me [23 M] trying to date a good friend of mine who is [20 F] who has never had a boyfriend. | The catch is that this girl is not someone who you would expect not to have a boyfriend. She is highly social, has lots of friends, and has had at least 5 different sexual partners (however not a slut, this is common of girls in sororities). She drinks a lot, and a couple of times she was drinking she has mentioned to me, while crying, that she is insecure about never having a boyfriend. However when she is sober she always tells everybody that she is glad she has never had one, although it is obvious that she is insecure about this fact. I have confronted her best friend about this, and she told me that her number 1 insecurity is never having a relationship with anyone.
This girl is a social monster, who is definitely hot, so it is really surprising to me that she has not had a relationship before even though she clearly wants one. Another surprising fact is that she is in the bitchiest sorority in my university, so that makes it even more odd cause there is a lot of social pressure for her to have one.
She is kind of a tomboy who gets along with guys better than girls, so this might be a factor. But I really like her, and I just don't know how to go about courting her. I am pretty sure she has shown interest, but I am kind of a pussy and am very confused. | A girl that normally would have no trouble getting a boyfriend, has never had one (even though she has had multiple sexual partners), and is insecure about it. I really like her and don't know how to go about it. |
t3_p64l1 | relationship_advice | I'm going to blow my 10 years relationship away by telling the truth to my partner. Any advices ? | **The Background**: 36 Yo Male redditor here. I've always been into girls. I've always see them as potential partner. I've always heated on pretty much every girls I've met for my whole life, yet, I believe i'm pretty good at reading signs and I stop before it becomes annoying (for the ladies or for my friends) (read : I strongly believe i'm not an asshole, but you decide)
I love the sensation of being usefull and providing emotional comfort to a woman and I try to leave my partners better and more secure than before I met them.
One day I met this girl who fell totally, unconditionally in love with me.
I was at a point in my life where I thought being into a committed relationship could cure the vast sentiment of loneliness I've always felt. And it worked in a way. Her unconditional love provides me security and confidence in life. We build things together (we have a daughter), and I feel useful securing her in almost every aspect of life.
**The story** : routine is now installed (almost 10 years together). I crave flirting (and fucking.. a little). I've been feeling miserable for almost 2 years. I can't stand it anymore.
So basically I have three choices :
* be miserable
* cheat on her and be miserable
* tell her everything and potentially lose her, destroy everything we've built, leaving my daughter with a distant father, and an depressive mother (also, be miserable).
Voila. I'm planning to tell it all quite soon.
Hopefully you have advices or similar stories. | 36 yo male. In a relationship but can't stop flirting. Thought I would grow up but was wrong. Feeling miserable |
t3_29mo7c | Advice | How do i become closer friends with someone who has a lot of difficulty making close friends? | * **If any of the two people referenced in this story read this PLEASE stop. You should know who you are. message me before and i will explain fully**
Alright so i was a senior and i just graduated, i'm not the sharpest tool in the shed and never claim to be, i'm a geek by all accounts but i'm fairly sociable for a geek i'm deep into tech and all kinds of bleeding edge stuff.
* Older brother = tom - 16
* Younger brother = neil - 15
*i would very much appreciate if i were not grammar nazi'd to death i get it, this is not a formal essay so please get off my back also names are redacted for privacy*
**Now to the question**
me and tom were friends starting early my senior year we got along all that time and i even went over to his house a few times and vice versa we get along very well (althow he shares some of what is described below but to a much lesser extent)
me and neil share a common group of friends and thus by association became friends ive always thought that neil was a pretty cool guy although its very obvious that he is extremely shy and doesn't like being a center of attention. normally i gravitate to the shy people because they always wind up being more trustworthy friends^in ^my ^own ^personal ^oppinion
I have tried on multiple occasions to try and spark a more open friendship between us but none have produced anything really... helpful but what I'm trying to do is maintain a friendship with both brothers at the same time and get on a more personal level with neil could anyone offer some tips on how to become friends close friends with someone who is extremely shy? | = trying to make close friends with extremely shy younger teen (not my family) don't know how to become closer without sounding weird/desperate |
t3_13f8zf | relationship_advice | [21/m] Been dating my girlfriend (22/f) for a week, not sure if going too fast. | Hey good people of /r/relationship_advice
I come with a question. I met an amazing girl at a mates party, though I've known about her for at least a year, we just really took off at the time. Talking with her showed that we shared a lot of things in common, in particular our background, as we both grew up around Russia before moving to New Zealand. We also shared the same family problems of our childhood, as well as a common interest in video games/movies.
Now, after the party I managed to build up enough courage to ask her out for a coffee, and she happily accepted. This is when I learned that I am very comfortable talking with her, to the point where I am happy to talk about things I've never discussed to anyone before. Personal things.
This is the tricky part, we have been dating for only a week, and the relationship is starting to get very very intimate (already we have had sex). We both don't want to rush things too much, but because we have so much in common it just feels like we've known each other for a very long time, and as a result can't control our affectionate feelings for each other.
My question is this, has anyone been in a similar situation? If so, then did you try to slow things down, or were you both happy to the point where you have been together for a long time? | Found amazing girl that I share a lot in common with, have been dating for a week and am already up to sex, both don't want to rush it but feeling for each other too strong. Are we going too fast? |
t3_2mnvpp | relationships | I(21M) got into a thing with a girl(24F) but she's leaving to another country soon. | We met about 10 days ago, I felt immediate attraction, started chatting to her, turns out she's really smart, she understands my humour, we basically get along extremely well, better than I expected to get along with anyone.
3 days ago I went to her house to watch a film with friends, and when they all left we slept together on the couch basically kissing all night, nothing sexual.(One of those was also my first kiss ever)
Last night she stayed at my house and we fooled around, but neither of us actually finished, so we had to take a snack break, we then made out some more and slept, then in the morning we made out again, and I almost missed my bus to work.
Now the thing is, she's leaving to study abroad in 23 days, it happens to be a country I would also love to move to and plan on doing it(already learned the language), would it be completely crazy to go with her? I only met her because I moved to this current city kind of on impulse, only been here 3 weeks and it's been the best life experience so far, so I'm liking this impulsive version of myself.
I haven't actually talked to her about this, and I won't for now, she's playfully mentioned it herself, and she keeps asking me about my job and how it can be done from anywhere(I'm a software developer), but if the opportunity arises I would love to take it, it would even be an upgrade in terms of country(economy, social, higher wages, eduction, etc).
I'm basically looking for opinions on how to do it, but my plan is to continue as we are, worst case scenario she leaves and we had a wonderful month. | moved to a new city, met girl on holiday, get along super well, she's going to another country in 23 days, I want to consider the possibility of going with her. |
t3_30rjwo | relationships | How long am I (f/36) required to set by and watch my gf (f/24) suffer because *reasons*? | We've been a thing for 11 months or so, but she hasn't moved in with me yet, which is part of the issue here. I love her deeply and she feels the same way.
I'm in a somewhat different place in my life than she is, and it has made things hard. Over the last six months I've had the great displeasure of watching her financial and emotional situation deteriorate. She lost her job, and is currently scraping by as best as she can but I can tell it's rough going for her. Other than taking care of our evenings out and whatnot I've avoided helping her. To her great credit she has neither asked for nor even hinted that she wanted my help.
Seeing her suffer has been getting to me, particularly over the last six months. I've been biting my tongue because of that you know, "Sugar Moma" thing, but it's to the point where I wonder what she is eating, and take her on dates to make sure she gets a meal.
I want her to move in with me, I've wanted it for the last couple of months. She can pay me whatever she is able while she is looking for a full-time job, and do the housework. I just want her to be comfortable and well-fed.
I'm afraid to tell her this. I don't want to push her away or something. I can of course frame it as "You're doing this for me because I'm worried sick about you", but that sounds just as creepy as every other conversation starter I've thought of. I'm afraid she is going to react negatively in some way.
Is it socially acceptable at this point in our relationship to do this? How do I frame this without looking like a creepy old butch? | Want to financially support my gf of 11 months because it really upsets me to see her struggle, and I think it's a natural progression in our relationship at this point. I wonder (hope?) she will see it the same way want some perspective on that. |
t3_3jdoeq | relationships | Me [18F] cut off my "friends" [18 F] & [17 F] was I right for doing so? | Was I right for cutting off my "friends"?
So I have two friends, allen and karin. Karin and I made plans to hang out for a week in new york since we were all going to be in the state. Karin told me she couldn t come to new york because it was ramadan june 18-july 18th. So I said okay and dropped it. I find out around june 26th, that she is in long island with her other friends right now. So I got upset, because she lied to me. But another thing is that this has happened before, with Allen and Karin. We re supposed to be three best friends but I live in maryland so I don t see them often. Since I have moved to maryland, I have taken the bus to them about 6 or 7 times over a span of three years. They have visited me once. Yesterday, Allen kik d me basically telling me I m being a child and overly sensitive and trying to convince me that Karin was right for lying to me. I told both of them I m done being a second choice to them, was I right for doing that? We ve been friends for seven years and I m tired of this cycle they put me through. | My friends have lied to me and I have gotten tired of it. Am I right? |
t3_2gvi1o | Parenting | 4 month old barely naps, help! | So we have a very curious baby who hates to stay in one place. She gets very tired, yawns, rubs face acts cranky etcetera, but generally will not close her eyes at all costs. She usually has one decent nap in the day, sometimes two, but its clearly not enough for her. She naps okay in the carrier, but it takes half an hour before she nods off, so it requires a two-hour walk to give her a decent nap, which I cant do more than once a day. We have tried just soothing her after 90 minutes of play, watching for signs then soothing her, etcetera, but nothing is consistently successful. One problem is that she feeds for a long time, often one hour or more, so we get into cycles of soothing by rocking or singing for an hour or more then feeding her for an hour because she has already worked up an appetite, then diaper change, then back to soothing and then it just loops like that all day. The long feeds have also made it impossible to get her on a nap schedule, because she will never sleep if we cut her off because its 'time to nap'.
She is a delight and quite happy when we play with her though, even when shes tired... | daughter is sleepy, but no soothing we have tried actually gets her to sleep consistently. Any suggestions? |
t3_4jnz6x | relationships | So I [16 M] went out with this girl [16 F] on 5-6 dates. We are just friends now but I still can't | Ok so like the description said I went out with this girl on 5-6 dates. I thought everything was going good but we kinda just drifted apart about a month and a half ago. We're still friends and we still talk, but it's not as much as we used to. I thought I was over her but she told me that she's going out with another guy. Anyway ever since then I can't get her out of my head and the thought of her with someone else makes me get a knot in my stomach. I know that I'm still young and everything but I would really appreciate some advice about what to do. Thanks in advance. | I can't stop thinking about this girl I used to go out with. Any advice you can give me would be great. |
t3_2pni0r | relationships | Me [22 F] with a guy i was dating [24 M] for a couple months - Should I give up? | I'm here in USA for the fall semester (exchange semester) and kind of dated a guy for a couple of months. We started out as fwbs and gradually developed feelings, I've met almost all of his extended family and his mom likes me a lot. I'm currently touring the west coast and will return to my own country at the end of this year.
We have talked about the possibility of long distance but he isn't able/haven't given me an answer. It's been a couple days and we haven't really spoken much. We aren't girlfriend/boyfriend (yet?) so it's all still super open-ended. I saw him online on facebook and tindr instead of calling me like he was supposed to. Should I give up or try to talk to him about the possibility of a long term relationship? | Dated a guy for a couple months while on exchange, should I try to talk to him about long distance or give up? |
t3_4d56lf | relationships | My girlfriend [22f] has no self esteem because of my [22m] success | So we've been dating for over a year and a half and I've been noticing this for awhile. (Side note, I don't mean for this to sound arrogant, I honestly just don't know what to do)
I'm about to graduate with my degree in film and she's about to graduate with her degree in sociology. In her eyes, film is much flashier that sociology is, so in her eyes, I'm more successful than she is.It's also because I'm pretty close to the top of my class where as she is more of an average student.
Honestly I can see where she's coming from but I don't think she sees all of her own talents. While I may be able to operate a camera or play a few instruments, she has a way to connect with people in pain and bring light into their world. She will sacrifice everything for other people.
I feel like those qualities are more important in the long run. Unfortunately she doesn't see it that way and instead feels like I'm just way out of her league, which isn't true. Is there anything I can do? | SHE THINKS my life has been super blessed and successful, her's has not, how do I help her see how amazing she really is? |
t3_wvu5e | running | Running related Anemia | Hi Runnit! I just got diagnosed with pretty severe anemia and thought I should share my story with you.
I am a 26 year old, healthy female. I have never had any iron/hemoglobin issues in my life. I started running back in January of this year, quickly ramping up to about 20-30 mpw and have been there fore the last few months.
For last past weeks, I have been feeling tired, sleepy and out of breath. While I have never been a fast runner, my mile times have gotten slower and slower despite running 5 days a week. I have been assuming it was just a side effect of the heatwave we are having. I also started craving ice chips, A LOT. For the last week, I literally would take cups of ice and chomp on them all day long. Then someone mentioned that ice cravings are a symptom of iron deficiency.
I went to the doctor and got my blood work done. Turns out I was quite anemic. I am on iron tablets now and hopefully my blood work will look better in 2 month. | If you are feeling really tired all the time, have weird ice chip cravings, and consistently really really shitty running, get your blood checked. You might be anemic. (Especially if you are female.) |
t3_3w1fni | relationships | Me [22M] with my partner [21F] for 2 years. Why does everything in the relationship seem perfect (perfect chemistry, no fights, etc.), but I just can't commit? | I know this isn't as big of a problem as some of the other posts in this subreddit, but this issue is literally eating me up inside. Me and my SO have been together for a very long time, and I can honestly say that this is a relationship that can easily lead to marriage. However, for some reason I just haven't been able to fully commit. It just seems like I'm always in a "what-if" mindset. For example "what if I start something entrepreneurial in the future, and am too busy for her?" or "What if someone better comes along?".
I know that I shouldn't have these thoughts, but I just DO. No matter how hard I try, I can't shake these thoughts. She knows of these issues too, but is getting fed up with waiting. I'm starting to feel helpless because I know I'm about to lose someone very special to me.
I hope some of you guys can give me some great advice, because I've become extremely frustrated with myself. | I'm in a relationship that people are envious about, yet I can't get myself to fully commit |
t3_1yjuz9 | Parenting | What would you do/How would you handle it? | I was at the zoo the other day when a child, probably a year or so older than my 3 year old son just shoved him for no apparent reason. Unfortunately, I completely missed this entire interaction. My wife, however, did see it and just told the other kid to 'stop pushing please.'
My wife deals with these types of situations far more often than I do and I feel she generally handles them and herself pretty well, including this case. After she told me about what had happened I kept my eye on this other child and sort of imagined what I would say/do if the child did it again. I wasn't really upset with the child, but I was upset (or would have been) with the parents. I expect this sort of thing to happen, my kids get aggressive from time to time, but I'd like to think that I pay enough attention to my kids, that I catch and correct this type of behavior enough of the time that they are pretty well behaved.
I like the way that my wife handled it, but I feel like the root of the problem is the parents. I personally don't like people getting in my chili when it comes to my kids, so I was trying to work out an appropriate, respectful, yet assertive way to let the parents know that their child's aggressive behavior was noticed and not appreciated. So what do ya'll do in a situation like this? | My kid was pushed at the zoo, looking for advice on how to appropriately handle the situation. |
t3_1gj19s | BreakUps | 23/m Looking for help | So I ended things a few days ago with her[24/f] after 6.5 years on-and-off. We have been in a limbo state over the past 2 months, but I put a stern end to it recently. I have been working on myself as best as I can: I have been working out, I started taking dance lessons a few weeks ago (salsa, foxtrot), and I have been seeing my friends and family. Even still, I keep relapsing and thinking of her. I ended up texting this morning saying I wish she had taken responsibility for the reasons I broke up with her (she became upset and blamed me).
I want to move on, but I keep checking my phone. This is an odd request, but I read about replacing the attachment figure and I think that would help. If there is a lady out there going through a similar situation, or that can relate, I would love someone to text and talk to. About breakups, the weather, how lame us boys are, anything. I wish I hadn't broken No Contact, but oh well. Also, advice is appreciated.
P.S. - I know I deserve better than her, yet I still yearn.. | Can't get over her even though I know need to. Would appreciate some help |
t3_36xpxn | tifu | TIFU by not reading the label on a bottle of liquid I put in my eye | This is currently happening.
My dad has hospice and they bring over this little "comfort kit" with all kinds of little meds and goodies that help someone who can't do much.
Inside this box is a little bottle. It has a bunch of manufactering numbers, drug name, and a picture of an eye dropper over an eye. Just that. No directions, no label of it's purpose.
Well my eyes were dry so I figure, "Hm, I'll just use this prescription strength bottle of eye moisterizer".
It wasn't long before colors started to be a bit more "vibrant". On top of that, things start to get a little blurry. Not too blurry, I just can't read anything or focus on anything past my elbow.
I went to the mirror and through blurred eyes I can see my pupils are the size of marbles. I could BARELY see any color. Just big, dank, dark, black pupils of blurriness.
It is, of course, at that point that I realized I had put some sort optometrist eye dilator in my eye.
It's been about 9 hours and I can just now start to read the screen again.
Damn it that was weird. | got drug like symptoms from about the only drug that gives you symptoms without the high |
t3_37wmbz | relationships | What to do about a friend's [23/M] seemingly offhand comment to me [19/F]? | I've been friends with this guy since March, roughly. We don't hang out super often, due to things like work, and the fact that we're both quite introverted.
Last night we grabbed a bite to eat at a restaurant, and the conversation was flowing as per usual. I can't recall how we got onto the subject, but he said "I feel as though we both use each other as an excuse to get out of the house," to which I replied "Uh...do we? I don't think that." Then, very nonchalantly, he followed up with "Well that's what I do, anyway." I kind of didn't say anything, as my mind was a little preoccupied trying to figure out if he'd actually just said that to my face, but I knew that I probably should've called him out on it/asked him if he'd like to rephrase that. A silence ensued, the conversation resumed, then we went back to my place and watched a couple of movies.
I guess I'm looking for some type of affirmation that I'm not overreacting in thinking that what he said was rude, and kind of cruel. Am I wrong in interpreting his comment as "I just spend time with you so I can get out of the house, not because I actually want to see you/enjoy spending time with you"? There's no way I'd ever say that directly to any of my friends, much less *while we were in the middle of hanging out.* Although, I'm pretty reluctant to push the issue, since it's a good friendship and not one that I'd like to lose. If anyone has any thoughts on anything I should say/do, it'd be very much appreciated. | Friend makes asshole comment offhandedly, not sure if I should call him out on it. |
t3_3tmzl9 | tifu | TIFU by riding my bike to get tacos while its snowing | Today, I got home and decided that I wanted to get some tacos. Fortunately, I live near a local taco chain (only about a mile), so I hopped on my bike and decided to ride there. It was about 20 degrees, so I put on a warm jacket, but was unable to find any gloves.
It's mostly downhill on the way there, so I cruised down without difficulty. I ordered a shit ton of things, and the place had one of those 125 flavor pop machines, so I filled up my large cup with peach mellow-yellow (my all time favorite). I ate most of the things, put two tacos in my jacket pockets for later, and refilled my cup before going out the door.
I noticed that my gears were stuck on the lowest setting. My fingers were too numb to fix it there, so I just settled for riding back in the lowest gear. I jammed the cup into the holder on my bike, and pedaled off. I finally made it up a small hill, ready to enjoy the cruise down it. Once there was almost no incline, I started to pedal. Unfortunately, I forgot I was in the lowest gear, and put most of my weight on it. I ended up throwing myself onto the handlebars, and I, inevitably crashed. My hands scraped against the concrete, but I fortunately was able to keep my face from hitting the ground.
I had bloodied up my hands pretty good, and my chain had fallen off of my bike. After pacing around my bike for a solid minute mumbling expletives, I realized that my scraped up, almost completely numb hands would be unable to put the chain back on. After a brief moment of silence for my spilled drink all over the street, I began the walk of shame back to my residence. | Rode to get tacos in the snow, ended up wiping out and spilling my drink. |
t3_fzug0 | AskReddit | Has imgur ruined Reddit? | [Throwaway account by the way] I understand that imgur is better for image hosting than what we had before, but I think we've become dependent on it for reasons other than hosting (mainly) original content. Too often people reupload images from sites to imgur robbing the original creator of internet traffic and recognition. It's also progressed the "dumbing down" of Reddit, which at any given time almost half (sometimes more) of the submissions are imgur links which more often than not are asinine. We've sunk low; what used to be a front page of news and discussion is now (mostly reposts at this point) funny/witty pictures, memes, and sensationalist headings. Sure I can stick to my obscure subreddits, but the main page represents the website and is ultimately what newcomers are drawn to. We need to get back on the horse; we're better than this. | Imgur is slowly killing Reddit. [Frontpage a few years ago] notice the lack of memes, immature language, pointless screencaps, one-off images etc. |
t3_2jisps | relationships | Can i message a girl(23w) i(m22) had a good time with before i got together with my ex or not? | So right before i got together with my ex (we dated 28days) i got to know this girl via online dating.
We got off rly well but didnt meet during the time.
Things with my ex went very fast and i immediatly told her that i dont want to fool her(onlinedating one) and am not single anymore..
Well now i am again (2weeks ago..)
She messaged me how i am doing 3 weeks ago so i guess she didnt lose interest and was wondering if i am still in the relationship. Back then i told her that i just watched a movie with my gf..
The quesiton is can i message her a "Hey whats up" or is it just rude? (she could think she is a second choice) ? | Broke up. Want to reinitate communication with girl i started to like before my ex? She knows that i had to "let her go" back then. |
t3_386qsl | relationships | My ex-GF [23F] and I [23M] post-breakup. Have you and an ex ever gotten back together/re-kindled friendship successfully? | Hello Reddit,
This isn't so much a plan or anything, but something of curiosity. I've lurked on this sub for the past couple of months and the general feedback over breakups is to run the healthy course of going no-contact and basically eradicating that certain someone from your life completely. I don't technically disagree with this route if it's necessary, having had a number of breakups go down this way.
However, my most recent girlfriend was one who shared many common interests with and fond memories as well. Even if we were to never be together again, losing her as a friend would be disappointing. I am not a very extroverted or social person, so finding someone like her really meant a lot. The idea has left me wondering about those who have broken up and successfully gotten back together, or those that have maintained a friendship with their ex. For example, I had one previous relationship end after seven months before she changed her mind and called me back three hours later that it was a mistake. She initiated the conversation when I thought it was over and thinking about how to cope, but then we talked for hours and ended up getting back together. That relationship lasted another two years before ending. We are no longer friends due to some mistakes from her and bitterness on my part. A story for another time...
So, I'm curious about what happened to you guys; what went through your minds, and was it by sheer luck, timing, and coincidence that both parties wanted to scrape the whole break-up thing and salvage what they thought was broken, and be successful at doing it. If you made the move, what did you do? If you were the recipient of the proposition--like I was in my example--what was going through your head? | Have you been successful in getting back together/being friends again with your ex? What's your story? |
t3_4qvxxr | tifu | TIFU By not buying toilet paper | I have 3 bathrooms and they all where low on toilet paper to where I ran out in all bathrooms but one. I sorta been living on the edge with one roll in one bathroom, and been putting off going to the store just for toilet paper. So today I was hungry and needed gas so I stopped at Wawa and got one of their hoagiefest subs. Well I don't know what was on it but its 1am, my stomach is in the most pain its been in since I can remember, and I cant stop running to the bathroom every 10 min to shit out water. My roll ran out, now I have to use tissues because I don't think there any 24 hour place that sells toilet paper. | Ate wawa sub, shitting briks, no TP. Lots and lots of pain. |
t3_1vjer5 | Advice | I have a friend who is drinking throughout her pregnancy. She is giving the baby up for adoption to a nice family, and they have no idea.. | Hello Reddit. Thanks for reading my post.
I have a friend (early 20's) who accidentally got pregnant 8 months ago. She didn't find out for a long time, and during that time, she was drinking extremely heavily and possibly using drugs. When she did find out, she continued to drink, even up to this day. She is going to give her baby up for adoption to a selected family. According to her, they are very nice and well-rounded, and are extremely generous to her. But they don't know that she has been drinking. So far the doctors are telling her the baby is 'healthy'.. but who knows what could turn out once the baby is actually born. The baby could have serious brain complications later in life (example: I know of a woman who used substances throughout her pregnancy and now her child has serious mood/mental problems as well as seizures).
I think this is extremely terrible not only for the baby but the family. I can't talk to her about this because she is stubborn and doesn't realize how bad this is. I feel extremely bad for the family because they are expecting a healthy baby from a seemingly nice and responsible young woman.
Is it my place to try and inform the adoption services or something? I don't know any information, and I would want to remain anonymous. If this is not my place to do so, then I won't. But I'm wondering what other people think. | Friend is pregnant, giving the baby up for adoption. Drinking excessively throughout pregnancy. Can I do anything? (Other than talk to her about it, because that will not work.) |
t3_2uynhf | askwomenadvice | Fourth date tmrw. Want to make clear my shortcomings and intentions. | I left a serious relationship about a year and a half ago, on good terms, to pursue grad school. I haven't seen anyone since. I tell myself it's because I want to concentrate on school (which is true) but I've never been confident enough to approach women (much truer).
Recently I've become friends and gone on a few dates with a girl from class. We kissed on the last date. Today was kind of awkward in class, so I'm fucking fearing the worst: I have to fucking concentrate on my thesis and I have a tendency to let emotions get in the way of more important things... like a fucking thesis I have to concentrate on.
I'd love to keep dating her, but I need her to know that I'm really distant under stress, which I will be this semester. But I dunno if I'll be jumping the gun, assuming she wants to even make anything of this. Is it too soon to tell her reasons she may not want to keep seeing me? I feel like self-deprecation is never attractive, so it'll just ruin everything.
Ancillary info: I'm 32, she's mid to late 20s. She was born and raised in Korea. I'm of Indian parents, so we'd make a kickass interracial couple. But I'm only mildly familiar with Korean dating customs, so I'm completely out of my element. She's also fucking wayyy out of my league tbh.
Also, suggestions for what to do after going to MoMA tomorrow are more than welcome. | When, if at all, would a woman like to hear self-critical truth from a guy she's dating? |
t3_gijo0 | AskReddit | April Fools Joke on girlfriend goes horribly wrong... Reddit, who's the April Fool? | On April 1st, I took a screenshot of my girlfriend's computer desktop. I put the screen shot as her desktop background and put the actual contents of her desktop in a folder located on her desktop. My plan was that she would click every icon to no avail, but when she clicked the folder (now the only active thing on the desktop) she would conveniently find all her icons and documents and even a message from me. I even put a JPEG image of her desktop next to the folder to clue her in when she thought something was wrong.
Unfortunately, things didn't go quite as I hoped. When nothing worked on her desktop, she blamed the folder that she had never seen before and deleted the folder without looking in it. Then she immediately emptied her trash.
Now, she's pissed at me because MY prank deleted all her files, and recovery software only saved four of them. I told her no person could ever foresee her making such rash decisions to troubleshoot a frozen desktop. Reddit, is this my fault? | the classic desktop background as screen shot prank played on girlfriend. to troubleshoot, she deletes all her files. my fault?! |
t3_43c84q | relationships | Me [20 M] with my boyfriend [19 M] 3months, I cheated on him and want to regain his trust | Hi everyone, thank you for your help.
Basically, last night I admitted to my boyfriend that I cheated on him four times. I just feel so disgusted at myself. I love him so much yet I cheated on him. He made me feel so happy, yet I cheated on him. It broke his heart and I've never seen him been so hurt before I just felt so disgusted at myself. I love him so much and I'm willing to do anything to reconcile a relationship, even though it may never be the same, because I love him so much. I would do anything to prove myself worthy again. I just can't lose him and I love him so much.
Thank you for your help. | I cheated on my boyfriend and I want to know how, no matter how arduous, that I can regain his trust back or work towards proving myself. |
t3_2yn7ma | AskDocs | broken ankle + surgery: if/when can i use an orthopedic walking boot? | I CURRENTLY LIVE IN CHINA, the real source of my problem, as my primary doctor does not know what the walking boot is.
I am a 24 year old multiracial male. completely healthy, before i broke the ankle i was at the gym 4 days a week and practicing tai chi once a week. I have never broken a bone (excluding teeth) and i can count all the times ive been to a hospital on one hand... most of them for stitches/staples related to sports.
Anyways, i broke my ankle 6 weeks ago (a little past midnight feb 1st, easy to remember). I had to have fusion surgery, i steel plate and 9 pins (i have the xrays on hand if it helps). Spent 4-5 days in the hospital. Left with a plaster splint, returned home, and after another 2-3 days, i went back to work in a wheelchair (i work 1.5 hours a day, and i can get away with doing it seated). After another couple days, i was able to get around on mostly on crutches. Had the wound cleaned every 2-3 days and after two weeks had the stitches taken out. Yesterday, 3 weeks after removing the stitches (a total of 6 weeks after the initial break) i went back to have the plaster splint removed.
Everything is healing great, there's really no pain in my ankle, i can even stand on both legs comfortably for a few minutes at a time for the purpose of showering and such. my doctor stressed the importance of not walking on it at all for another month or two. I asked the doctor about a walking boot and even showed him some pictures on the net, but he doesn't know what it is.
My personal experience of chinese medical practice is that many treatments tend to air on the longer, more cautious side (whether due to culture, tradition, or to limit the use of medical resources for political/economic reasons is up for debate) but obviously i am not a doctor so i just want to get a western medical take on my situation. | i broke my ankle and had fusion surgery. i had the plaster splint removed yesterday (6 weeks after surgery) and i want to know if or when can i use an orthopedic walking boot with or without crutches/a cane? |
t3_3tlsq8 | tifu | TIFU by finding a spastic cab driver | TIFU
So this was about 1.5 yrs ago.
I am get a cab from my hotel to a military installation. This place is the type that does not allow you in without ID and a reason to be there. So I tell the cab driver he needs to drop me off in the front of the place at the taxi stand and to NOT approach the gate. I am half asleep cause it is 5 am. I am not paying total attention and look up, as we get to the base. He pulls in towards the gate. Now, one way to really tick off a guard, is to try to do a turn around ahead of the gate. It looks suspicious, they will not take it well, and will likely pursue you and be exceptionally unhappy with you. So we are now committed to driving to the gate to tell the guard my driver is a dumb ass. We get there, we have 4 visible guards, all of them armed with M4s. They signal for him to stop as we get to the gate. I am realizing now, he is sweating bullets and has a totally freaked out look on his face. He hits the gas instead of the brake, the engine revs, the car vaults forward, he hits the brake and stops 3 feet from the closest guard. I am screaming at him at this point to stop the F'ing car, and calling him every name I can muster. I realize all of a sudden that the guards (who are now ALL pointing their rifles at us), are also screaming at us. They yank us both out of the car, and over the next 20-30 minutes (felt like 3 hours) we are having a pleasant chat with them and their supervisor, before they clear us. They send him on his way and I get to go to work and explain to my boss why security called him about me. These guards don't mess around. It was very fortunate we did not get shot at. Another 100th of a second they would have opened fire on us and at that range, we would have been hamburger. | UBER driver didn't listen to me, almost rammed the gate at a military installation and nearly got us both killed. |
t3_1drvrn | relationship_advice | I want to become friends again with an old ex girlfriend. Need advice on how to go about that. More info inside. | Recently, I've been thinking about becoming friends/acquaintances with a girl whom I dated for almost a year, about 3 years ago.
It was my first very serious relationship that lasted longer than a month or two, and when we broke up, it was just plain awkward to speak to each other.
Since then, we have been at a few of the same events thrown by a mutual friend, and we can now talk like any normal people would. Other than those 2-3 events though, we've only emailed once or twice a year to see what's up with the other person. (Just short emails saying hi, and whatnot.)
I'm not really interested in dating her, as we are both in relationships that we are happy in, but I would like our relationship to be more... friendly?
Any advice would be fantastic. | I want to platonically become friends with an old ex girlfriend. How should I start? |
t3_ehv55 | relationship_advice | I'm a normal and levelheaded gal for most of the month...and then I turn into a monster. | [Me: 21. Him: 22]
Hi Reddit! I have a little problem here that I hope most of you aren't too embarrassed to help me out with.
So the general gist, if you haven't gathered from the title of this post, is that while I like to think of myself as a relatively decent, slightly spacey girlfriend for most of the month, I react pretty badly to PMS. Basically, the week before my period, it sucks to be my boyfriend: I get pretty ridiculously jealous, and the slightest thing is likely to anger/annoy me. It took me forever to pinpoint my monthly mood swings to this, but now that I know, I was wondering if you guys had any advice on how to minimize this?
I know PMS is something that affects almost all girls to some extent or another, but I think it affects me particularly strongly. Giving my boyfriend (and myself) advance warning has helped a lot, but all that goes down the drain if my pms is compounded by stress as well (finals, applications, etc.). I know this puts a strain on my relationship, and besides, it sucks to feel like a bitch.
Sorry for weirding you out, boys of Reddit :) | I'm a normal girlfriend who (and I acknowledge this) becomes a scary uberbitch once a month every month. Not placebo effect. What to do? |
t3_31zw5z | askwomenadvice | Not sure if what I want to do is acceptable in a woman's eyes. Need advice. | I've [25/M] met this girl [20-21?/F] at my office building. She works as a barista in my office building and I frequent that coffee place regularly. Over the past few days I've come to talk to her more and in the process getting to know a little about her such as her name, education background, near-future plans, etc.
We are by no means considered friends yet but she does remember my order and we do greet each other whenever we bump into each other (we park on the same floor of the building).
I plan to ask her out but was also thinking of leaving a note on her car (using a receipt from my earlier purchase at the coffee place). The note is just to say thanks for the awesome coffee and that she'd have a wonderful weekend.
My dilemma is would it be seen as too much or creepy? She knows that I know which car she drives as we've seen each other in our cars while parking before. That being said, would it still be considered OK to leave a note on her car? | Met a girl at a coffee place, talked a bit with her and plan to ask her out. Want to leave a thank you note on her car for the coffee but not sure if it's ok. |
t3_2rwwdj | relationships | Me [22f] with my boyfriend [22m] of over 2 years, I might have hurt his feelings, but I don't think I was necessarily wrong. | My boyfriend and I are both sick and grumpy at home, trying to get better. He brings up a friend of his. We talk about his house and I said it was much cleaner than I expected. My boyfriend says he thought the friend's house would be a lot cleaner than it is, adding, "I guess I just expect everyone to keep a clean house, even though we don't."
Before I go any further, let me explain that we have gone round after round about the dishes, keeping the house clean, picking up dog waste, laundry, all of it. The problem: he doesn't do it. At one point, we fixed the rent so that he was paying more and I was keeping the house completely clean. He was making WAY more money and I had WAY more time on my hands. It made sense.
Then, we moved and he switched jobs (from a physical energy-based job to a mental energy-based) and I switched the other way. I am now busting my ass physically at work every day while he is working away mentally every day. The truth of the matter is, I get less done at home now that I'm working more often. Everything changed, jobs, rent, all of it, and now we've divided bills equally.
Anyway, back to the story, I say it's hard to keep a clean house all of the time. He agrees, saying it is hard, but if we all work together, we can do it. So I ask, "Do you think that you work as hard as I do on housework?" and he's just just quiet. So I say, "I didn't mean to put you on the spot, I'm just asking." Now he's just being quiet and won't talk to me, but earlier today he was talking about how lazy he was and how he needs to snap out of it.
And guess what? There's a full sink of dishes, since I put the ones in the dishwasher away. Normally, I would just get up and do it, but should I give him a chance to do it, even though I know he probably won't? | Inadvertently hurt my boyfriend's feelings (I think), and now he won't talk to me. |
t3_50c85m | Advice | Should I tell my Girlfriend? | Hey everyone, I'm an 18 year old male and i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2+ years. We recently broke up for 4 months (something she did that I have forgiven her for) and we just got back together.
I am so happy, I know I love this girl with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. While we were broken up though, I sexually experimented with a guy. It was a one time thing. I have no idea why I did it but I hated it.
I know I am not gay and this experience assured me of that. I feel guilty and want to tell my girlfriend about it but I'm afraid that I'll lose her again. We love each other very much. What should I do? | Should I tell my girlfriend I experimented even if I did it when we were not together? |
t3_3y0wo0 | tifu | TIFU by pushing my brother over the proverbial edge | Didn't happen today, etc etc. I'm several years older than my brother and when we were both younger, on Friday nights, my parents would let us stay up late and sleep on the fold-out couch (an uncomfortable bed that magically folds into a couch and vice versa, for anyone that doesn't know what that is). When it was folded out, there was a small gap between the long side of the bed and our other couch (important!).
This particular Friday I was being a good older brother and giving my little brother crap about anything and everything. "Oh, that bothers you? I'll keep doing it over and over!" I guess that Friday night my brother had finally had enough, because I said something and he shoved me as hard as he could. My leg hit the corner of the fold-out couch and I fell backwards, landing directly in-between the fold-out and the regular couch. I was wedged in there really well.
My brother quickly realized I was stuck and began kicking me as hard as he could in the ribs. He kept on kicking me until I started crying. And then he kicked me even more. I couldn't move, I couldn't cover my ribs up; I was stuck and the absolute perfect target for pent-up aggression.
I didn't bother him as much after that. | found out the hard way not to mess with psycho brother |
t3_llanf | AskReddit | A feeling of abnormality? | Hi Reddit!
I don't know what this is, however very often I have a feeling that things aren't normal, per say. A feeling of abnormality. It's very difficult to explain, but I'll say this; it's like an itch you can't scratch, almost like the feeling that your dreaming when you're not. Perhaps I'm getting this feeling because I'm 16 and still developing, however I've been getting this feeling off-and-on for a couple months now and it's driving me *crazy*. It seems to only be solved if I do something in what I would consider a normal routine. Does anybody else get this feeling? What is it, and how can I get rid of it?
Thanks, and I hope I can get at least a couple responses. | Getting a strange feeling that life is not normal, and need some answers to what this is. |
t3_z4zzs | relationships | Should I M[35] be concerned that my wife F[34] has a crush on a "pretty" male coworker? | My wife of 10 years has the hots for a coworker. They have worked together for two years. She has mentioned how attractive he is several times but never shown much more interest than that to me. While snooping through FB & text, I discover she is interested in this guy sexually. I seen many messages & pictures back & forth between her and friends about how hot he is and how hard it is to work with him. There was even a small attempt at flirting with him.
I don't know what my next step is. It could be just a harmless thing. I feel awful about the snooping but I'm willing to do most anything to keep my home intact. | Wife has hots for hot guy coworker. |
t3_36cymf | relationships | Girlfriend (F/19) hasnt texted/talked to me (M/20) in 3 days. Should I be worried? | Weve been in a relationship for about a month and a half now and everything's been going pretty well. We haven't fought or anything either. She's about 6 hours away at the moment finishing up an internship with a police department and works 12+ hour days so I can understand not wanting to constantly text.
My last text from her was friday morning with her telling me when she was getting off work but since then nothing. She hasnt even been on steam. Should I be worried at all or am I just being a bit clingy about the situation? | girl randomly has stopped talking/texting. should I be worried or is this her just being busy/overwhelmed. |
t3_h6ymb | AskReddit | I really need your help, reddit! I don't know what to do. | I'm super paranoid about anyone finding out about this, so throwaway obviously, and I've changed a bunch of minor details in the story, but please don't upvote it because I'm worried it might still be recognizable.
About a week ago, I met my sister's clarinet teacher. As far as I can tell, she's pretty much awesome (the teacher, not the sister). She's smart, she's pretty, she's lively, and happy. If she wasn't like 8 years older than me (and married), I would have totally asked her out. But that's not a big deal, because I meet attractive women all the time, right?
But I've got a problem. When I was talking to her, I got a really magnificent boner. There's really no other way to describe it. I'd never had one like that before. After I got home, I tried to masturbate to porn but my mind kept wandering back to her. Jerking off while thinking about her felt dirty and I was so disgusted with myself that I didn't even finish.
The problem is that was my last erection. I used to masturbate three or four times a week, but I haven't been able to get hard since. Porn that I used to look at doesn't do anything for me now. Is this normal? I'm worried maybe I broke something by not finishing last time. How can I fix this? I really want to have kids someday :( | I met my sister's music teacher and now I can't get an erection. This is really embarrassing and I can't talk to anyone about it, help! |
t3_3b11a7 | legaladvice | [Ohio] I'm a new driver. Today, someone attacked my vehicle while driving. Was my response appropriate in the eyes of the law? | As a new driver in a slightly unfamiliar vehicle, I have found that my gas pedal is a little touchier than I'm used to. So, when I accidentally turned into a dead end road, I was catching up to the residential speed, which is 25 MPH. I didn't go over that speed, but having a touchy gas pedal, I got up to that speed really fast.
A homeowner on this tiny street was sitting on his front porch, and screamed "SLOW DOWN" at the top of his lungs. At the end of the street, I turned around, upon doing so (still maintaining the proper speed), I saw the man standing there with a baseball in his hand, in the position appearing to be pitching it at my car.
This is where I ask if my response was appropriate. I applied a lot of gas to the vehicle, because (especially with the windows rolled down), I did not want to risk a man pitching a baseball into my window and at my head. I only went 10 - 15 MPH over the speed limit before it hits the side of my vehicle and I come to a stop to check the damage. I then see the man walking towards me with a blunt weapon in his hand, looking like he was going to hit me, or my car. So I drive away and let my parents know.
Were any of my actions wrong? | I quickly caught up to the speed limit on a road, a man on his porch saw and told me to slow down. While turning around to go the other way, I tried to speed up to avoid the man hitting me with a baseball. |
t3_23xsrc | relationships | me [24f] can't stop thinking about co-worker 35 [m] yet in long term relationship with [25m] | Not much to say here... I've been with my partner nearly three years. Thing have gotten stale.. we rarely have sex.. have lived together for a year and a half. Sometimes I still wonder why I'm with him because he plays video games 8 hours a day and largely ignores me. Recently I've met someone at work who flirts with me all day long. I can't get him out of my head. My BF and I have been going through a rough patch and have agreed to try and work on things.. I'm trying and so is he but still my co-worker is in my mind. How do I stop thinking about this guy from work? I doubt it's anything serious.. just so nice to have someone call me beautiful and flirt with me everyday. It's gotten to the point where I can't wait to go to my job that I hate just so that I can see my co - worker. Please help.. this is unfair to my boyfriend and I love him but I can't get this guy out of my head. | in 3 year relationship with boyfriend. having issues... co -worker flirts with me all the time and I can't stop thinking about him. what do I do? |
t3_2h026r | tifu | TIFU by ditching my crush at 3am | First post on reddit so..
A little bit of backstory, I've been suffering from severe migraines so I've been sleeping awfully early for the past few days (10-11ish).
So my crush and I have this thing where on the last night of the holidays, we would talk throughout the night and eventually fall asleep at around 5.30 or 6am.
Given my recent medical pains, I forgot to stay up last night, having promised her I would. The next thing I know is she had spent the night skyping with another guy friend, who turned out to have a thing for her. | ditched crush on all nighter, another lad swooped in to claim her |
t3_1g4oic | relationship_advice | [23/f] in new relationship and he[24/m] doesn't seem very interested anymore. | Back Story:
My current boyfriend pursued me for a few months before we were dating and really wanted to date me but at the time I was enjoying being single and was also kind of talking to another guy. Anyway after a few months of becoming friends with him I really realized how great of a guy he was. We decided to be official and started out being super happy together.
3 months later: I feel like he isn't even happy to see me when I walk in the door and kissing me seems like such a chore. He doesn't grab my hand in public and just uses the excuse that he doesn't like PDA. He says he really cares about me and is just trying to get used to having a gf but that excuse really doesn't cut it for me. The thing is I am starting to have real feelings for him but not sure if I should allow myself too because he said to me last night "Sometimes I feel like I really like you and there are days that I don't know if it will work out." I got pretty upset when he said that but tried not to let it show because I didn't want to just jump to conclusions. I did get upset at one point though and almost left his apartment when he was trying to make me feel better by joking around but I just couldn't help but feel like he wasn't taking us seriously. He started getting teary eyed when he realized I was crying and got my stuff to leave. We talked for a bit more but I don't want to just cut it off because I really can see a future with us and I understand that in a new relationship, every day is different and you feel new things. Am I just being in love with the idea of being in love or should I give this guy a chance? | Boyfriend not being much of a boyfriend, should I be patient or move on? |
t3_53lm18 | relationships | I [20M] started talking to someone [19F], how do I know if she's interested? | For background purposes, I dated a girl for 3 years throughout highschool, we broke up because LDR and I haven't really dated anyone since so it's been a while since I've gone through this.
Anyway, this new girl and I went to the same highschool but we were never really friends; she was a choir person and I was a runner. We "met" at a tailgate before a football game, caught up, and I invited her to a party afterwards. We ended up having a great time and we made plans to go out with some of my friends the next weekend. We go to a party and it seemed like she had a good time and asked me if I wanted to do karaoke with her friends in the future. We haven't really been texting/talking that much outside of hanging out but whenever we do it seems like she is interested. My friends say I should ask her out but I'm second guessing myself. What do you guys think? | should i grow a pair and ask her out? |
t3_20j6cx | relationships | My (f 20) bf (m 20) and I are competitive with each other to the point where it's often not fun playing games together. How do we work on this? | I can understand if this is seen as very petty and silly, but we both love games a lot and this level of competitiveness makes it less fun to play together.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and were best friends for about a year before that. We always played a lot of video games together and were always relatively competitive there, but then I found the card game Magic: the Gathering (MTG).
I played for a while when we were friends, he wasn't interested for a long time, then he decided to give it a try. Things were fine (for me) because I was more experienced and he was a newbie, so I won a lot or he won when I let him.
Now it's been over a year and we're both on the same level of skill in MTG. We're both pretty serious about it, and while we haven't dumped hundreds of dollars into it like a lot of the pros, we do put effort into it and work on it together extensively. We both enjoy going to tournaments and playing against other people.
However, when we play together things can be difficult at times. If I lose I'm mad, and when he loses he gets mad. We've talked about it, and it's like we both expect going into the game that we're going to beat the other, then we get mad/disappointed that we didn't.
We play A LOT together, so it's not always like this, but the majority of the time it is. I don't get mad when I lose against my brother, sister, or other people at tournaments. Just my boyfriend. :/ He says it's the same for him too. It just makes it less and less fun to play together, and more of an ordeal.
What's going on here? Neither of us can come up with an idea as to why. :/ And how do we work on it? Any advice/opinions greatly appreciated! | bf and I are competitive to the point where it's not as fun playing games together. Why are we so competitive with each other and how can we work on it? |
t3_1zev29 | relationships | I've [22 F] been with my BF [30 M] for two years; I've never had an orgasm. | As the title says, we would have sex a few times a month, maybe once a week (a little less since school started up again and I've been feeling this way) I've gone two years without minding the lack of orgasms but it would just be nice if he actually did something to improve.
Every time I bring it up he just goes "yeah I suck" and gets quiet and sad. I tell him it isn't a bad thing as long as he would try to improve but he just goes "you're right I should try more" then there's no mention of it again, unless I bring it up, and no attempt made at improvement.
I've mentioned different things that we could work on to help with the situation but he just goes "mmhm" and again it's never put into practice.
I worry I may not be as into sex as I thought I would be; but I don't want to say for sure without trying more. It's just difficult with a partner that gets depressed and thinks they can't do any better. I've asked him if he enjoys having sex with me and he says yes very much so. He finishes every time we do the deed but I never get my chance so I'm trying to be open and discuss it.
I mention how he doesn't really make an attempt to improve but rather makes me feel guilty for bringing it up, but it ends up being more of the same. "You're right I don't try I'm sorry" it got to the point where I recently said "you're not sorry, if you were sorry you would try." and I know it wasn't kind but I was frustrated.
Any help would be appreciated. I just want him to see it's not bad, just something we should work on. Am I really pushing him too hard? Cause every time I try and talk with him about it I feel bad.
He does so much for me and I love him so it hurts to think that he isn't willing to work with me on this. I would call it arguing but he isn't disagreeing with me merely avoiding change. | Been with SO and sexually active for two years and never had an orgasm. I try to bring it up and all he does is get sad and say he should try harder but then he doesn't try. I'm feeling guilty for pressing it but I want to enjoy sex too. |
t3_22nnhf | tifu | TIFU by accidentally going to school while high | So for the past few days I've had this nasty cold where my voice is all scratchy and my throat is on fire along with the usual congestion and whatnot. This morning, I woke up coughing as if I'd been smoking for 70 years, so I decided to take some cough medicine.
So I go downstairs, take some DayQuil for my congestion, and some Delsym cough suppressant for my newly found cough. I thought it sounded like a great idea! No way will I let this cold stop me from going to school! So off I go
I'm sitting in Marine Biology, when I start feeling really light. Like I lift my leg and it's basically a feather. I find it hard to sit upright so I keep slouching down further into my chair, and then I can hardly keep my head up. I end up with my face on my desk for half of the class, not even listening
After class I went to the nurse and explained what happened. I was informed that I was currently high, and that I should probably go home. My blood pressure was at 179/96 or something so I had to be picked up.
On the plus side, it was pretty fun wandering around the halls after marine bio | don't take two different cough medicines unless you wanna get high |
t3_zb98c | relationships | Did I [m/19] just screw up with my girlfriend [18/f] in this long distance relationship? | Length of relationship: 4 months.
texting my gf whom i hit it off with beginning of last summer and recently moved away for college a couple weeks ago.
she tells me how every time someone brings up an asian guy (im asian shes white) they say "oh shed like him"
i replied with short texts after that cus that kinda got on my nerves. shes like
her: what :o
me: what?
her: you're like mad
me: well its just annoying that everyones like that over there
her: i kno
did i just show her some bad jealousy and screw up? | I feel like i showed a hint of jealousy and im paranoid that might put her off me |
t3_2wivkq | tifu | TIFU by marrying a girl on Facebook | Hi Reddit, this happened yesterday but I know you don't care so.. Anyways there's this really cute girl who's a mutual friend of some of my friends I've known for a few years. We were all talking in a group chat, and I slid in her DMs and got her number. Everyone in there was pretty much shipping us and what not so I just went with it, I mean they were helping me out so whatever.
One of her girlfriends was like "she's your bae now, you should make it Facebook official!" Then, the girl I'm flirting with said I should marry her on Facebook so I said fuck it, send the request. I accepted it and went to bed because it was 4AM and I was exhausted. Didn't realize I had fucked up until I woke up the next morning..
I had hella messages, Facebook notifications, and unread texts. I started checking them and that's when shit got hilariously awkward. My fuckin family thought I legitimately got married and were PISSED they didn't get invited to the wedding.
My grandma was texting everyone in my household trying to figure out why her grandson got hitched before he leaves for USMC recruit training. I thought that was bad enough but then my recruiter texted me asking if I really got married, and I had to explain to my family (in Spanish) that this was all just a joke and I'm only talking to this girl. | married a girl on Facebook, my family and recruiter thought I got married for real. Had to message them and explain that it was just a misunderstanding. |
t3_22gx8v | relationships | Update 1:Me [25 M] with my GF [23 F] of 3.5 years, she is coming home from internship (3 months) on monday - problem arising | This is an update to:
So we talked it out on saturday, both said that we love each other and no hard feelings were left.
I pick up her sisters and her cousin. We drive to the airport. I got roses. Champagne, roses, and two shrimpcocktails at home.
We pick her up. Kisses, hugs, etc.
We drive home... She tells me she got a job offer there. She got no feelings left for me - and she is 100% sure that feelings wont grow back even though we had 3 months apart. She has flirted with some guy there (says she haven't done anything with him).
I did not really see this fucking bomb coming. I'm broken, completely fucking broken.
I threw her out in the middle of the night. Couldn't fucking stand her. Her sister picked her up. I told her "you ain't staying another hour here"
She is coming by tomorrow so that we can start pack all the stuff up. Im fucking devastated.
Im gonna be so lonely. :(
How do I go on with my life? I need to find my soulmate, which I thought was her. How do people even find anyone new? I guess most people will say: throw friends. Sad thing is I have only a few close friends. Especially now since most are disappearing with / in combination with her. | She dumped me, said she had no feelings left. Had flirted with other guys. Got a job offer at her internship. I'm lonely, crying. |
t3_cl3hl | AskReddit | AskReddit: What is the best option for a new computer for someone who uses it 12 hours per day? [more in comments] | So, Reddit, I was hoping you might be able to help out with this. My GF works in a job where she is required to stare intently at a laptop screen for 12 hours a day for work. Since she has started this job, she has experienced massive, debilitating headaches towards the end of the day, presumably due to eye strain. New glasses and trying to rest her eyes occasionally have not really helped much.
So today, I realized that the laptop she is using (iBook G4 Mid 2005 14-inch) is very dim looking in a well lit room and the contrast makes text and colors hard to discern. I figured that the lack of light coming from the screen as well as the poor contrast was what was making her eyes strain so badly. When I put my iPad next to her screen the difference was astounding in both brightness and contrast.
**So, she has decided to get a new computer. We're looking into MacBook Pros and I was wondering what the best possible option would be?** I figured Reddit would be the appropriate place to ask, considering you guys are the experts on using computers at least 50% of the day. | Looking for an Apple laptop that would be best to reduce eye strain. What would be the best screen option to upgrade to from a mid-2005 iBook G4 14-inch? Or is it just a waste of time and money that no new computer will alleviate this problem? |
t3_4o2r8e | relationships | My [21M] mother [43F] is strongly leaning toward starting the process to adopt a child. If a child is placed with her, how can I foster a positive relationship with my adoptive sibling? | I'm the oldest of four (Me, 19F, 17M, 14M). Our mother has been in a serious relationship with "William," who has no children. They've discussed and intend to pursue adopting a child under five years old, as he wants children, but my mother is surgically sterile.
My siblings and I are very close. We haven't necessarily "been through a lot," but, as children, we moved about a dozen times and saw our mother with many different men. We had to make new friends each time we moved, and mom's financial situation fluctuated, so the only real static we've had throughout our lives has been each other.
By the time my mother and William would have the child, only one of us would be living at home, and he'd probably be 16 or 17 years old. I do not envision a scenario where we could ever see the child as "one of us," but the child isn't the one choosing the family, she it shouldn't have to suffer for it. With that in mind, what can I (and my siblings) do to make this child feel like he/she is just one of us.
Of course, to further complicate matters, neither I nor my sister intend to live anywhere in the area by that point. | Mom is adopting kid 10-15 years younger than the rest of her kids. How can we be as close as possible with said child? |
t3_2dq6jh | relationships | Me [23 M] with my GF of more than 2 years [24 F] who blames herself a lot and wants to hurt herself (doesn't). Want to know how to help her out. | I'm really worried about my gf who claims she sometimes "feels nothing" and thinks she's depressed. I believe her. Whenever something goes not as planned she blames herself and starts shouting at herself like "I'm so fucking stupid omg" sometimes banging close by objects (not people) or even starts hyper ventilating (rarely). I feel like she thinks she doesn't deserve what she's got in her life (very good schooling, upbringing and financial security). She sometimes doesn't think she's good enough for where she's at and what she wants to become in life. I really want to help her as much as possible but I don't really know how. I know this isn't my fight, it's her own and I can only be there for her. However, I'd like some advice on things I can do to help her out. I'm scared. She says sometimes she feels like she wants to hurt herself but she won't because she knows I wouldn't and shouldn't stand for that. Self harm is not the answer. She might take therapy in the future but we're both in masters and I don't know if she'll have the time.
It's not otherwise bad at all. We're very honest and have lots of fun together. She's literally perfect for me. I was a bit broken when we got together too and I got better with her (she's my hero) and I want to help her too. We love each other a lot and I won't leave her no matter what. It's not like we have a bad relationship at all. I just want to prevent things before they happen. | Gf is sometimes depressed. Want to help her but don't know how. Relationship is perfect otherwise. |
t3_1908xm | AskReddit | Stop beating around the bush: parents, you do have a favorite child don't you? | I know you do. I know that both of my parents love me, but it is very obvious that each one has a favorite. My parents are divorced and my older brother and I always have gone back and forth weekly between houses. He is a more passive personality (calmer and more sensitive) and I am the funnier more rambunctious smart ass. He's pretty factual and sciencey but I am more creative and more into reading, creative writing, and art.
To put it plainly, I'm my dad's favorite and my brother is my mom's favorite.
It has never been outright said, but it is obvious from the hints dropped. My mom often has compared me to my brother; for example when I got my learners permit she said more than once that, 'your brother never drove like that' or 'your brother never went that fast'. She also pays much more attention to him. I talk a lot, and he doesn't, so when I talk to my mom she usually tunes me out almost nonstop. Everytime I ask her a question I will ask it four times until she finally responds.
My dad is the opposite. He is much more affectionate and supportive to me than he is to my brother. I spend a lot more time with my dad than my brother does and we get along much better. | Basically I know my parents have favorites, and I am fine with it. Do all parents have favorites? If so, why? |
t3_o1d2y | jobs | Know of any reproductive medicine/biology or cosmetic research labs in Ohio or Texas? | I have a bachelor's in biology with 3-4 years academic research lab experience and was accepted into 4 PhD programs last year; however, I just couldn't figure out what I would do with a PhD so I deferred. Almost a year gone and I STILL can't find any career ideas. So I come to you, Reddit, for some direction...
I love research but hate dealing with patients so becoming a physician is out. I am most fascinated by reproductive medicine/biology in terms of spermatogenisis and fertilization (this is the field I was going to get a PhD in). I have always been a little intrigued by the idea of working for a cosmetic research lab. Trouble is, I have not had any luck finding any sort of company or lab that work on these except for the occassional academic research lab in a university. My main goal is to find an intellectually stimulating and fascinating job in bio/biomedical research that pays at least decently if not well. The main reason why I deferred from the PhD program was not finding examples of careers that utilized a PhD that paid more than $45-50K a year. Grad school just doesn't seem worth it for so little compensation for the training.
So, Reddit, any ideas...? | Anyone know of any non-academic research companies/labs that work with reproductive biology or cosmetic research in Ohio or Texas? |
t3_2wulm0 | relationships | my [f23] brother [m28] just found out his wife[f27] was having an affair the day before her due date | This happened a few days ago and I am still trying to figure out how to handle the situation appropriately. They have been married for 2 years, expecting their first child and both seem to be extremely happy.
I received a call, and expecting to be told I was now an aunt, was informed that for the past year and a half my brother's wife has been sleeping with a collegue. It's so dramatic that I can hardly believe it. Naturally, my brother is devastated, confused and filled with so many emotions that I cannot even fathom. The baby was born 2 days ago and instead of joy, my niece's birthday was filled with shock, anger and negativity. My entire life my family has been remarkably functional and pretty much picture perfect, that this is an entirely new feeling for me to now experience. My brother says he's unsure of what to do next, but my guess is once the newness of becoming a dad wears off, he'll really process what my SIL did and separate. I don't want to be near her, I want to support my brother, and I want to be a present aunt. I'm so angry that she ruined my brother's first born's birth, and has so completely betrayed him. I want to mail him a package (I live in a different state) full of baby things and I want to mail him some pick me up items but I don't even know what is appropriate for the occasion.I guess i'm mostly just venting and looking for advice/suggestions on how to console my brother at this delicate time. | brother's wife has been cheating, niece has been born into heaps of drama |
t3_2g78c8 | relationships | Out of the blue, I'm horribly missing my [40 M] ex-wife [40 F] | I haven't thought about my ex-wife in a very long time. I last saw her four plus years ago. Out of the blue, I passed her on the road last week & now I can't stop thinking about her.
We've been divorced for nearly six years & I've since re-married (four years). I'm not unhappy in my current marriage, so I'm really not sure why I suddenly seem obsessed with her.
We were together for around five years, but we were never a good match & got married for the wrong reasons (mainly co-dependence due to some issues we were both going through at the time). We had no kids & had a fairly amicable divorce.
I texted her the other day from my Google voice number. She doesn't know that number, so she doesn't know it's me. I just said "Hi, I hope you're well". Never got a reply, so I don't even know if she still has her old number. She's not on Facebook or social media. I actually checked.
I have no desire to do anything with her. I just imagine us sitting down over a cup of coffee catching up with each other.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this, I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced these sorts of feelings after a divorce. I'm not sure whether this is something I should share with my wife. | Passed my ex-wife the other day & now I can't stop thinking about her. |
t3_1rnnwn | relationship_advice | I [18/m] found out my best friend's (17m) reddit username and now he won't forgive me | I'm 18, and my best friend of 5 years is 17.
One day, we were at his place, and me, being the weird one as always, snuck onto his laptop and saw his reddit username.
Please note: I'm the major dick here, because barely a few months ago, I did the same thing, and we had this major argument.
Something you should know about me: I'm this super socially awkward guy and I have a habit of not thinking before speaking or doing something, which has gotten me into loads of shit in the past in school and home.
So back to the problem... I did apologise to him and promised him that I won't see what all he's posted, but now he refuses to talk to me.
I understand that usernames are of major secrecy, and I myself would not like someone knowing mine (he knows mine, though).
So what I came here to ask was: what can I do to patch things up between us. Other friends say time will do the trick, but I really miss talking to him and playing with him. (yeah, we were pretty close that way...)
I'm not sure if this is the correct place for friendship advice, so if there's another place where this could be posted, please tell me.
I don't think this post would qualify for one, but here it is just in case: | I snuck onto my best friend's laptop and saw his reddit username, and now he won't forgive me. |
t3_14rw6m | Parenting | Taking two toddlers on a cruise? | Looking for some advice: My father-in-law just invited my family to go on a cruise with him, and my husband and I are debating how practical that would be. We have two toddlers - a just-turned-one-year-old (14 months) and a not-quite-three-year-old (34 months). The cruise is in a month, so add that to their ages. Some things to consider:
* The older one is completely potty trained, and we use cloth diapers on the younger.
* Older girl loves swimming, younger is barely warming up to the bathtub.
* Both are very physically capable. The younger one can walk very well and crawl up and down stairs fairly confidently.
* Both like to meet new people and situations, but the younger one is very mommy-clingy at the moment.
* We're behind in the kids' vaccinations (we moved and I've had health issues and life has been crazy; we're working on it), and I don't know how much a concern that would be.
Neither my husband nor I have ever been on a cruise before, but my father-in-law and his wife do them all the time and would love to spend time with their grandbabies. It sounds like it could be a lot of fun, but it also sounds like it could be a lot of stress, and we just don't know whether or not it would be worth it. | Considering taking a one-year-old and a three-year-old on a week-long cruise. Anyone have experience or thoughts to contribute? |
t3_4vubgw | relationships | I (18M) am considering ending things with my Girlfriend (18F) of 6 months because of College. | We started dating in February. Things have and still are going pretty well. We haven't ever had really any fights and she's a pretty understanding person and good listener. In all honesty I went into our relationship knowing that I wanted to end things before college started. It just seemed that communicating is obviously going to be difficult. I figure that were going to change a lot as people and its going to be harder for me and her to recognize that change without seeing each other.
I feel like that us being together might limit our experiences at college. But it's not my intention to be trying to have sex with every other girl I meet at college, and I very much trust that she wouldn't do that either. I just don't want either of us to feel guilty about trying to start new relationships.
Honestly, the thing that upsets me the most is she really is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. I would never ever want to hurt her, but I know if we break up it's going to absolutely destroy her. When I think about it I can't help but feel really guilty, I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing.
I am going to talk to her soon, not to end things but to openly discuss our feelings and take things from there. I guess what I want to know is if I end things with her would I be doing the wrong thing? Would it be worth trying to end this relationship now on a good note? | Been dating my Girlfriend for 6 months. Starting to realize the complications of long distance relationships. I want to end things because I think it would be ultimately better for our relationship. But i feel like an asshole because shes sweet and a person i thoroughly care for. |
t3_1ny3hj | dating_advice | What do I do now? M/15 | So there's this girl I met at the beginning of the year that I've grown to really like. We've talked a bit but I'm at a loss of what to do now. I have never been in a relationship either.
We started out talking in my science class, than she started talking to me in weightlifting. Then she messaged me on Facebook, and we talked for a while. So far, that's about it. Sometimes she starts the conversation, sometimes I do.
Saturday at homecoming, I managed to find the courage to ask her to dance. At the after party, we talked a bit more personal, like what we thought of people, and different people dating. I also got her Snap chat, which I do not know what to do with.
I am a bit awkward around her, I don't know what to say to her, how to start the conversation. Once we start talking, we both contribute and it's fairly easy to talk to her.
I would like some help, I am only 15, I have never had a relationship, and am in the process of going through puberty. I am very confused. | Interested in a girl, don't know how to take it further. |
t3_1salqe | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [19F] 1 years, broke up today | I dont know who to talk too.I'm from Germany and theres noone awake atm and i cant sleep.
Im listening to James Morrison "Broken Wings" for a while now and its really hurts so much.
The relationship started at the 10th of December 2012.A few days after my Birthday.
I didnt have a relationship for five years and I was really happy.We had a lot of good times and also bad times.
A few months ago she wrote some really hurting stuff with another guy and I gave her another chance.
I gave her the chance to show me her love and make it better,but nothing did change.She lost me.So i had to say "im leaving you"... | left my GF today and im really sad |
t3_23dei1 | relationships | Me [17M], my friend [16F], id like to be more than friends but circumstances aren't great. | So I'm falling for my friend, who has a "thing" with another guy. I say "thing" because they are close friends, aren't dating but I'll call it a "thing" because that's what she called it.
I think she knows I like her, all our coworkers and a few school friends have asked if we're dating or when I'm going to ask her out. But this "thing" with the other guy is killing not only her, but me. It's constantly up, down, up, down, from one week to the next.
I don't know what to do.. I don't want to ask her out and completely weird things out. That's what I'm really worried about. But Im afraid if I wait to long, this other guy might pull through.
I thought she was interested in me because she's always staring at me in the halls, seeking me out at work, we text a lot, snapchat a metric fuckton, she's always looking down at my chest, and just the way she acts around me, but I'm starting to think she may be just keeping me around for attention or a back up plan. | I don't know what to do/think about a girl I like who has a "thing" with another guy. |
t3_3r0v41 | relationships | I [23/F] have no clue how to connect with my younger half-brother [13/M] | My biological father [50ish/M] and I are estranged. We've never had a relationship and I don't plan on seeking one with him. However, he has multiple (10 - 11 or more) children that I'm open to building relationships with.
For the past couple years, one of his sons' mothers has been making an attempt to keep my half-brother and myself connected. I would love to have a relationship with him and get to know him... but the problem is, I have no idea _how_.
We live in separate states. Have only met twice. He's 10 years younger than I. I'm married with children and he's a teenage boy.
Also, I'm not good with people at all. Communication isn't my strong point and I tend to "freeze up" around people I don't know.
I have no idea how to build a bridge there. I'm lost when it comes to what to even talk about. I can't just ask him if he likes school every time we talk.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated! | I'm lost when it comes to connecting with my younger brother. |
t3_3kse4f | relationships | Me [27] with internet stranger [~31 M] chatting for more than a month and i have developed feelings for him. Please help | Hello everyone,
This is my first post here and i am using a throwaway account for obvious reasons.
I have a very disturbed relationship with my SO [32 M] so and due to some dependency i can't breakup with him. things are so bad that i am almost depressed. Long back while discussing the current situation on one of the reddit forums, i started chatting with a fellow redditor. It started with usual relationship issues and than extended to discussing our daily routines. I was so involved texting him that would super lengthy essays discussing each feeling of mine in detail and would always receive a very supportive reply everytime.
This continued for more than a month, It was like I would keep checking my account to see if i have received anything from the other party and that message symbol turning red would make me jump out of joy. Basically i was anxious all the time and wanted to talk more and more. I was experiencing the comfort of sharing things with someone again which i had missed for years.
Now after a while i feel guilty and unethical for actually talking to a stranger, when i have a relationship running. Its nothing like i want to get into a relationship with this internet stranger or i have fallen for him, but just want to be in contact with him. May be have a healthy friendship. At the same time i really don't know what is going on his mind? Our texts have reduced from 2-3 days and it is disturbing me.
Do you think i should confess about my friendship thing to him? Or should simply delete my account and get back to lonely self again?
Please suggest i have come here with high hopes.
Sorry for poor English, It is not my native language. | Conduct with internet stranger, should i tell him that how good i feel after talking to him or should i just let him go and get back to depression? |
t3_4jla1g | loseit | PSA: Never delete your data | This might seem like a no brainer to some of you but as someone who's stopped and started many times in my weight loss journey I'm here to tell you, for the love of donuts, DO NOT DELETE YOUR FITNESS TRACKER/HEALTH DATA! I used MFP many years ago to lose almost 60 pounds but in one of the times that I "stoppped and started" I decided to delete that account so I could start fresh without all that old data staring me in the face all the time. I know it's hard to go in and tell the app that you've put back on weight, trust me. But right now, I would give anything to have all that data back from my old account. | If you're thinking about destroying an account to start fresh, don't. You'll thank me later. |
t3_3yd227 | running | 100 mile month help | Hey runners I need some advice,
I want to do a 100 mile month at some point next year. If I run every day it would be a little over a 5k. But running everyday I heard is bad for knees. I used to do a 5k every other day for a few weeks but rain caused my trails to get really flooded and after coming back my vacation trip abroad I've been having trouble running regularly pluses darkness and stuff. The only time I run a 5k is with the run club at work every Wednesday. My goal from start of January is to run more regularly. At Least a 5k if not 4 mile run every other day. My main worry are my knees. Would running that much do damage to my knees or other parts of leg(Achilles, calf, etc.). To give you a background of myself. I was way overweight 184 I'm 5'7" and right now I'm around 160-164 running was a big part of that. I also did some strength training and went through a brief period of not eating junk food and drinking lots of water. I kind of fell off the wagon started eating junk and improper diet but I'm back to eating right foods and drinking water. I caught the running bug and can't wait to get out for a good run. But I did notice my knees hurting on a trip. I've never been more active in my life than this past year so I feel this much movement is causing my knees to hurt a little bit. So I was hoping to get some advice on training and stuff for this 100 mile month and how to work up to it | want to do a 100 mile month. Worried about knees and other leg parts(Achilles, calfs, hamstring, acl, etc.) need some tips and Advice to achieve it or work towards it |
t3_38owwv | tifu | TIFU by working out | This happened two days ago, but now it is wayyy worse. About two days ago, I went over to my friend "Lonnys" house, and he suggests we do something "productive", do we decide to workout our arms/shoulders. I have not worked out in ages, and I am not feeling too good about this, but I do it anyway.
We do about 4 sets of 10 reps each arm on bicep curls. After the third set, I notices my muscles getting/feeling tight, so I tell "Lonny" , and he says it's natural, it happens all the time. Well, I was a bit sore yesterday, and today I can't extend my left elbow past 90 degrees, and it feels like my arm is going to fall off every time I do anything .
Turns out DOMS set in, Doms is delayed onset muscle soreness, and it compares to the pain of stepping on a lego. To help overcome 'DOMS' it's suggested that I ice the area, but there's just one problem , I suffer from cold uticaria aka cold hives , if I were to place ice on my skin, I would explode in hives. Now im miserable, and won't be able to do anything "productive" for about a week. | Have T-rex arms |
t3_2y6v7f | relationships | Should I[24M] remain friends with this girl [24F] who has a boyfriend? | Hey guys. I met this girl about a year ago and we got along fairly well. Eventually I developed feelings for this girl. So following the advice I found here: I decided instead of being friends, to tell her how I felt. Unfortunately, she had a boyfriend. No biggie, time to move on.
I stopped hanging out with her. However, after a couple months, she sent me a text asking how I was and and wanting to hang out. So I caved and hung out with her. Turns out she still has the same boyfriend. She still wants to hang out with me because she enjoys my company and wishes to continue seeing me, either as a pair or with mutual friends.
It hasn't really been long enough for me to get rid of my feelings. She also understands I like her, and how I feel like I'd make a bad friend as long as I like her. Yet she still wants to be friends and hang out. Why does she want this despite knowing how I feel? What would this achieve?
Should I try to be friendly and just go back to where we were a couple months ago? Or should I stick with my original decision of no contact. I'm still not satisfied with just being friends and I can very easily see myself resenting this fact and her, which I dont think is fair to her. Do I tell her that we still can't hang out because of my feelings despite her really wanting us to remain friends? | told a girl my feelings, but she had a boyfriend. stopped all contact because I'd didn't want to be just friends. 2 months later, she contacts me, still wants to be friends. what to do? |
t3_3fxxzq | legaladvice | Arbitration proceedings - First new car - intermittant transmission problems - potentially dangerous... | It was suggested that I repost this here, so here it is!
So, my wife and I bought a car back in February of 2013 at a local dealer in NYC. A Dodge Dart Rallye edition, we both loved the look, the specs, and the price wasn't too bad either (We actually paid the whole thing off just last month!!) But here's the problem, I was stupid and didn't listen to my wife when she noticed the problem, probably during the first month of ownership. The engine would rev well past 4000 RPM while releasing the break at a stop light/sign. It wasn't until months later that I experienced the same thing, so we brought the car in to the dealer and had them take a look. Fast forward through 11 visits for the same problem, three replacements of the Transmission Control Module, a full on Transmission replacement including the flywheel, and 5 visits having the car held for days, sometimes over a week, and then having it returned with the dealer basically saying "we couldn't replicate the problem so there is no problem." I entered into arbitration with the National Center for Dispute Settlements, and just got a Manufacturer's Response Form from Chrysler which basically says "you're still driving the car so there's no problem with it." The last time the issue occurred, the engine redlined – hit 7k RPM after releasing the break at a red light, and actually lurched forward and coasted at 5mph to a bus stop that I pulled over to. I'm honestly afraid that one day I'll end up in the middle of an intersection and get t-boned by a bus or worse that a pedestrian is going to run across the street in front of me when this happens and I'll just mow them down… This isn't the final stage of the arbitration process, the panel still needs to review everything, but I have until Friday at midnight to respond to Chrysler's response. Any suggestions as to what I can say to the arbitrators? It's not like I want them to fork over a Viper or something, I just want a car that I can feel safe driving in, one that I don't need to bring into the dealer every two months for the same damn problem. | Bought a car, missed out on Lemon Law, intermittent – potentially dangerous problem, manufacturer says it drives so no problem, arbitration to occur soon. Suggestions for response to manufacturers response? |
t3_1q51je | relationships | I [M/24] have a question regarding my girlfriend [F/23]'s stand on sexual favors. | My girlfriend of 1.5 years and I are in a stable, happy relationship. I have only had 2 past girlfriends and would like some advice as to if her stance on sexual favors is normal.
I have never received any form of one sided sexual contact from my girlfriend. Her stance on sexual favors (referring to blow/hand jobs) is that "they are not fun for [her]". So if she doesn't receive some form of sexual gratification than she refuses to do either action, Ever. I have heard from friends and others that women will occasionally give boyfriends sexual favors simply to make them happy or if they are not in the mood but their SO is. Having no reference I was wondering if this is, in reality, part of a normal relationship, or if I am deluded. If my SO is not in the mood should I be taking care of it myself (masturbating), or is it normal for a SO to help out occasionally.
I would appreciate anyone's advice, but would really like a female's perspective as to when a B/H job is appropriate to be asked for or given.
Thanks r/Relationships!
...hope this isn't a weird question. | Advise as to normal relationship's policies on sexual favors. |
t3_3564j0 | relationships | My[20 F] best friend [24 M] just told me he's in love with me. He's in the Military and that scares me. | I met Dalton at school last year and we quickly became best friends. I hang out with him at least once a week, we talk every day and I love him as a person.
We've each had our own relationships during our friendship but now for the first time ever, we are both single at the same time.
Two weeks ago, he told me that he loves me, that he's loved me since we met and that he's only been dating other people because I was never available and he wanted to respect that I had a boyfriend.
If Im being perfectly honest, I have always found myself attracted to him and it made me happy to hear him say that. I absolutely would want to pursue something with him.
That being said, I just got out of a two year long relationship. Im still mourning the loss of that love and am no where near ready to start something with Dalton. I told him as much and he said he understood and would be there for me when I was ready.
When I am ready to start something though, I have a pretty big concern: Dalton is in the Military. He's seen combat. During our friendship he's told me a lot about war, and a lot about the kinds of things that he's done. He's talked about his PTSD and the kinds of things he still does while asleep (for example, he sleep walks and apparently has managed to open his gun safe, get his gun, open his ammunitions safe, and load his weapon, all without waking up). He's also told me that if there is another war, he will absolutely do whatever he can to go back and fight again.
Honestly Im scared shitless about all of this. Its not a deal breaker for me, but I have no idea how to prepare myself for what this kind of relationship might be like.
I dunno. I guess Im hoping for people who have been in this situation before to share their stories... maybe give me advice on how to be supportive and helpful and how to keep myself safe. | Id like to start a relationship with someone in the Military. This is uncharted territory for me and Im hoping for advice from those who have been there. |
t3_1x9xu0 | Advice | "The Grass is Always Greener" - Career advice from those who went to college after university | Hi everybody!
I'm a 24 year old female living in Ontario, Canada - and, like many in my generation, have gone through years of university only to come to the end of it wondering what the point was.
A bit of background on my education and work experiences:
My undergraduate degree is in Environment and Resource Studies and my graduate degree is a Masters of Environmental Studies (Tourism Policy and Planning Program). Although I recently moved out of my parent's house, I lived with them throughout my schooling and have thus graduated debt-free. I have worked as maintenance at a conservation area, as an administrative assistant within the university, and as an intern with a regional tourism organization. Social media has (almost without my awareness) become my only tangible 'skill' (if a skill it can be called).
I am currently watching the job market and applying regularly to positions which I feel suit my current background. Despite having worked hard and applied myself to my schooling all these years, however, I routinely wonder what I actually offer to the world and yearn to see something concrete come out of my future work efforts.
I've always had a fascination with the skilled trades, but in high school felt like I was too dumb and awkward to ever pursue them. Now I have more confidence in myself and want to expand beyond mere book learning into the practical arts. I strongly respect people who are able to create things with their hands and desperately want to get away from the empty arrogance of academia.
Clearly, I'm searching for the polar opposite of the lifestyle/mindset that I've known for so many years. Am I just suffering from a case of 'the grass is always greener' on the other side of the fence? Am I wrong to want to pursue another line of work outside of the desk job? Any advice is much, much appreciated. | I've just graduated university with no practical skills and am fantasizing constantly about going to college to learn a skilled trade. |
t3_2ofxt2 | relationships | I [M 22] and cheating on my girlfriend [F 22] because I need new experiences. | I met my girlfriend, Amanda, in high school. We dated through high school and university. I love her I really really do. She is literally a part of me. She knows parts of me better than I know them.
But being together for so long (approx 7 years) has taken a toll on me. I never really got to experience what it was like to be with other people. I'm not talking in a purely sexual sense. I want to be with other people and see what they have to offer me, what experiences I can have, what new things I can learn from them, etc.
Amanda and I decided to do some more school and moved to separate but close cities. We've both been really busy and we haven't had as much time to see each other.
Earlier on in the year, I met Zoe. I was immediately attracted to Zoe, and it was clear she was attracted to me. We hung out as friends a couple times, and started getting close. One night, we kissed, and I let her sleep in my bed that night. We made out and I ended up cheating on Amanda. Zoe and I are still seeing each other, and she knows about Amanda. Neither of us want to fight our feelings.
Zoe has travelled, and has different interests than I do. She is something new, something that isn't me, and that is what I have been wanting. Not just someone new, but something new. Something to better myself, something adventurous.
Its eating my up inside, because I feel as though I need this experience, but Amanda deserves so much better than this. I want to tell her, but I will lose her and Im not sure I can lose a part of me.
What should I do? I don't want to be complacent, but I'm not sure letting Amanda go is the right thing. We have so much vested in each other. | Cheating on my girlfriend because after 7 years I feel like I need new and different experiences. Don't want to lose her, but can't keep doing this to her. |
t3_51f3mr | relationships | Me [25F] and my husband [24M] of 6 months, together 8 years, have started talking about having kids. It isn't going well... | We both want kids and discussed it before marriage. So the other day I started the conversation seriously because we had never gotten to the real nitty-gritty of it. Clearly, it made him uncomfortable to talk about having kids in any real sense (it's always just been "yes we want kids some day"). We had talked previously about having them when I turn 26 which is September of next year, and when I put it that way he immediately didn't like that idea.
His barriers are that he wants to start grad school (MBA in Finance) part time, while working full time and that would be too much. I'm not against him going to grad school, and he gets tuition reimbursement so the loans won't even be that bad, but I feel like it's an excuse. Like he's scared, and is just putting it off.
We are financially pretty comfortable (both of us work full time), own a home, have a great support network (his parents, siblings, etc.), with money leftover for savings and fun at the end of the month. I tried to logically lay all that out and he still wouldn't budge or even seem to hear my perspective.
Recently, I definitely got a case of the baby rabies, but I don't want to conceive right away, just within the next year or so. When I finally broke down and brought up the emotional side of this, he immediately shut down and turned the conversation into a fight because "that's not fair!"
We worked it out to the point that we weren't crying and yelling, but no other resolution. I'm a little resentful that my husband has so many excuses and no solutions. | I want kids within the next year, my husband isn't ready because he "wants to start grad school" but hasn't even written an essay/taken the GMATs/talked to his employer about reimbursement. |
t3_3cp92z | relationships | Me [20 M] with my closest friend [20 F] knowing each other from two years, who used to always without fail used to talk to me suddenly stopped talking to me as soon as she went into a relationship. | So this girl is in my college, one of my closest friend, great personality though she always tends to have a very small social circle and I was one of them. We always have been as friends and nothing more (I swear, never even flirted even once), because I always knew she's out of my league(she's daughter of a millionaire, filthy rich, I'm just a normal guy, unless it's a fairy tale this shit never works out). Though I should mention that we are quite compatible.
Our platonic relationship was going great until she recently(about 4-5 months) went into a relationship with another friend of mine, we both are the part of the same social circle. He's a good friend of mine to say the least. Now, obviously I'm not a jerk and don't expect her to talk with me that often now that she's in a relationship. But the fact that she used to talk me with me as much as she used to with his bf if not more, and then all of a sudden she just stopped. Like negligible, how aquantance communicate. Obviously this was quite noticeable within the friend circle and I asked one of my guy friend who suspects that she used to like me before and was trying to get into a relationship with me, but it didn't work out for her. She'd always been like this to others according to him. | Close friend of mine, stopped talking to me after she got into a relationship. I asked a mutual friend why shes acting wierd, he says that she has always been like this with others, maybe she used to like me and hence acted differently with me. Is this friend of mine making me delusional with his theory or is this how people act in a relationship? |
t3_flk8o | AskReddit | How to handle a job situation...advice? | So heres the situation. I recently accepted a job offer...yay!, but heres the deal. The job is pending on a drug screen and background check, we'll leave that for a second. My question is this, what is the protocol in this situation? I am currently still taking phone interviews and have a second interview lined up. I like my current job and would prefer it over the others but I guess I'm curious if theres a proper way to contact hr and find out if all my background screening has been completed successfully before i cease continuing to interview.
Back to the other thing...I don't think i should fail any part of the screening, drug or backgroun...but there is a small chance of things going awry. | waiting for background screening to be done before ceasing job search. Can I contact hr in a way not sounding suspicious to find out if i passed before i cancel other job opportunities. |
t3_2cxxlk | relationships | How are you supposed to feel towards someone after 10 years? | Me [M26] and my wife [F25] have been together without a breakup for 10 years. Those playing at home, we started dating at 16 and 15, respectively. After we got married in 2011 I thought it was the best decision I've ever made. We don't have any kids and have gone on several trips together since then. However, in the past year, I've been feeling very depressed, so much, I've gotten medication to try to help it. However, I've never told anyone this, but I feel my depression is caused by disappointment in the day to day relationship with my wife. Now that were in our mid twenties, we both work quite a bit and see each other mostly in the evenings.
Lately, whenever I see her, I have almost no emotion or feelings of excitement when she is around. I have frequent thoughts of being with someone else, but I've never acted upon it because I know it's wrong. I can't help it, I have a deep feeling of loneliness when my wife is around and I don't feel its normal.
After 10 years together, am I crazy to think I should be feeling the same "tingles" I felt when we were young, or is a feeling of "that's how it is" normal after a long term relationship? I just feel were roommates more than lovers anymore and it bums me out.
Please, tell me how one should feel towards their partner after being in a long term relationship.
Thanks. | I've known my wife 10 years and I'm not sure if it's normal to not feel any kind of "tingle" or excitement when she is around. |
t3_3aqfm5 | relationships | Me [24M] with my gf [23F] and her friend's[24F] combined birthday present | So I'm wondering if I can get some advice on this situation. I planned to buy my girlfriend tickets to a concert she's been doing to go to for months but couldn't get tickets. So I bought some (about 200 dollars a piece) tickets for her and her friend. I have my girlfriend her ticket for our 1yr anniversary and I split the other ticket with this friends girlfriends (they gave me about 75 dollars). Anyways I planned it so they both don't have to work late the night of the concert or early the next morning. Then after this birthday weekend of hers where the friend got her ticket she says she can't go. So now since she doesn't want to go she wants to sell the ticket back to me or my girlfriend so that I can go to the concert instead even though I paid for it originally. So I'm kinda pissed off this girl is trying to charge me for a ticket I paid for because she doesn't wanna go even though it's a concert she wants to go to and can. | bought some expensive concert tickets for gf and friend. Friend can't go and wants me to buy ticket off her since she doesn't want to go anymore (double paying) |
t3_21tqmc | relationships | I [22F] found my BF's [28M] OKCupid account and I've felt uneasy since then. How should I proceed? | I was sitting at his desk, he was 4ish feet away on his bed. I was messing with a ruler, measuring the screen, being dumb. I didn't know it had a touchscreen, so it opened something. From there, I proceeded to play with it. Opening tabs and then the first web page on his frequently visited in Google, which was OKCupid (that's not how we met). He said it was from before we started dating, but while I was there I saw that he still gets messages from it. It's been bothering me to the point that I wonder if he sees a future with me, and if he's shopping around for someone else. I want to talk to him about it, but I don't know how to handle it. | My boyfriend watched me open his OKCupid accidentally on his laptop and now I wonder if he doesn't see a future with me. |
t3_2ve651 | relationship_advice | I'm a [21/m] and my gf [21/f] has a very odd suggestion and I don't know what to do. | So we have been together for about 4 years now and she asked me if I wanted to go out and "be young." You know, like experience other women because i never got the chance to do that. I love her to death and It's like im stuck between two choices, choosing her or choosing others but then coming back to her. She said thats what she wants for me, she wants me to go have my fun so that I dont end up cheating on her when were older. I plan on staying with her for the long haul but at the same time I would like to experience other things but I would feel weird coming back into the relationship. Sometimes i wish we wouldve met later in life but life doesnt work that way and I don't know what to do. Also to clarify shes very open about talking about things, she's not "testing" me or anything like that. Shes a very down to earth girl and i trust that what she says is what she wants. However, i know it would probably make her upset if i were to choose having fun over her, but i feel like she would also somehow be relieved. | Conflicted between two very different scenarios; |
t3_2zso5u | tifu | TIFU by walking into | This is my first post on reddit, so be nice..ok?Im a 15 year old guy btw.
This happened a week ago. I was down with a fever and had a huge headache, my mom decide to give me a whole lot of medicine to make me feel better. As my dad was coming back from the US, my mom wanted to go to the beauty parlor and get a haircut and some haircolor done.I wasn't in the mood to tag along with her, as I was still drowsy from the medicine, but she said she would buy me some chocolate if I went with her, and so I did.
This is where the FU starts. My mom went into the ladies section of the parlor, and I waited in the reception,browsing my phone,almost about to fall asleep. After around 30 minutes, the medicine effect starts wearing off and I start having a serious headache. I don't know why I thought going into the ladies section was a good idea,but in order to find my mom I did.
Now I don't remember this part accurately, but I think I saw a door at the end of the room, and my medicinally high mind decided that's where my mom was..I ran and burst through the door...and there was a lady there getting a bikini wax(Thankfully not my mom)..Having never seen something like that in real life, I drop my phone in shock,which cracked its screen. The lady screams and threw something at me that hit my head and somehow,because of how unstable I was knocked me out..I woke up too see my mom apologizing for what i had done. | I went to the parlor,high on medicine |
t3_3kjz3m | tifu | TIFU By getting angry at a Train Station | It was a normal day for me, getting home on the train after a long day of work at college. I was a bit late when I had arrived to the station after waiting for my friends to stop talking to this girl we had met. Now at this train station, there is a gate which you must put in your ticket and the gate will open. When I arrived, so did the train so I became a bit paranoid whether or not I will be able to make the train or wait an hour for the next one to arrive. Now being me, I am incredibly impatient and I am not going to wait an hour for a train which will take 15 minutes to take me home. So I approach the machine and put my ticket into the machine, but it would not fit (that's what she said). At this point I was panicking as I watched my mates go through the gates and watched me as I continued to struggle putting my ticket into this what seems to be a faulty machine. The train arrived and there is a 30 second delay for when the doors open and I was still at the gate trying both sides of my ticket. I was getting furious and worked up (over a little thing yes, I was very impulsive) and with everyone looking at me in confusion to why I was getting so angry. At this point I look up and see my friends laughing at me for some reason and it was apparent I was doing something wrong. As it turned out, I had spent the last 15 seconds of my life putting a ticket... into a "No Entry" gate. I held my head in shame as the numerous pairs of eyes watched me as I enter the train, and my friends laughing at me.
This will never be let down... | Late for the train, got impulsive and angry at a "No Entry" machine which would not accept my ticket. |
t3_35ax9z | relationships | (update)Me [18F] with my bf [24M] of 6 months sexting 'bad' | Original Post
So I came clean to my bf. He was a bit upset about the picture but mainly because the guy lived in our same city. We've talked about it and his only rules are no nudes and no going out to fuck them (which i never would do).
I did ask about other rules and told him how my messaages sound. He said message content was up to me.
I know a lot of you were concerned about the age difference. My first bf (now ex) is 29, i was with him when i was 17. I like older guys because I find those closer to my age are not mature enough. This is not just a "kink based relationship". We have shared interested that are outside of the bedroom.
And thank you to those who were not quick to bash me. | bf and i have agreed what things are allowed. he wasn't upset until mention of picture, all has been resolved |
t3_wlcuw | AskReddit | When I was around 4 or 5, I ate an entire of bottle of Flinstones' Vitamins. What stupid life threatening moves did you do when you were younger? | When I was around 4 or 5, my parents left me with my brother, 9 years my senior while they went out one Saturday night. I was a night owl back then, and my brother fell asleep before I was ready to wind down the evening myself.
I found a 1992 bottle of Flintstones' Vitamins, a spectacular year for the product. Not being able to penetrate the ratcheting top of the bottle, I brought it to my brother, who kindly opened it for me, before easing back to sleep.
I retreated to the bathroom, where i consumed every last Flinstone.
My parents returned to find me clutching my stomach in the bathroom...
And that's the second time they gave me Ipicac. | Ate an entire bottle of Flinstone Vitamins. Got a dose of Ipicac. |
t3_3q447c | relationships | Me [26M] with my ex-girlfriend [26F], recent breakup, she asked to stay over a couple days next month | To elaborate, she currently lives in southern CA and I in northern CA. She is enrolled in the online cohort of a university of here and apparently there is a mandatory meeting of some sort in November. Thus, she asked if she could stay at my place. "You'll barely see me since I'll be gone to the meeting" she said.
I had mixed feelings from the second she asked to stay. The breakup was kinda rough because we had been together for six years, and I didn't want to take a step back so to speak, by having her stay around and reintroducing the emotion that was between us. It was my first relationship and thus a difficult breakup.
One mistake I made was, after the breakup, trying to be as compassionate as possible and remain friends with her, and offer to help wherever I could. So I really set myself up for this situation.
Ultimately I told her I'm not comfortable with her staying here, even if we barely see each other, because of what I mentioned earlier that it will bring back those emotions. I'm in graduate school right now too, so the less distractions the better.
Obviously she wasn't ok with it and had a pretty emotional response, now I feel guilty, but I'm trying to stay firm on this.
I'd like some input on whether I made the right decision here. Also, I was thinking of reaching out to her when she is here, just to meet and chat in public, though that would seem to have the same negative effect I mentioned. What do you all think? I appreciate your responses in advance. | broke up with gf of six years recently, she asked to come over and stay at my place out of convenience because she has to attend a school meeting nearby. I said no. |
t3_zhmdu | BreakUps | Tired of feeling pathetic. | My humble apologies for the wall of text. (Throwaway account)
I'm a female in my 30s. My ex broke up with me three months ago. It's gotten a whole lot easier to go out in public with the chance that I'll run into him, but I still search every isle at the store. I hold my breath a little with every vehicle that passes that's similar to his. I know that even if he did want me back I wouldn't take him. There are plenty of reasons why, but I'm not posting them (after all, I'm on a throwaway account for a reason). I'm even dating (nothing serious and this new guy is well aware of it) someone new who compliments me more than my ex ever did and is ever so sweetly rebuilding my confidence. So, why does it still hurt? Why am I still thinking about my ex often, and by often I mean all the time? Him and I weren't even together for a year. Is it normal for me to be angry with myself for feeling so weak and "girlie"? I almost feel stupid that I'm so broken up by this. He's not worth this pain and I know it. Is it possible that I feel this way because there hasn't been closure? I'm not even sure what kind of closure I'm looking for in this situation. There has been no contact since we split and the reason he broke up with me was the "it's not you, it's me" type. I honestly don't understand why I can't get over this. I've never felt this pathetic after the end of a relationship. Help me, please? | Three months later; I still feel pathetic and broken. |
t3_4194ua | relationships | I [23 F] think I might be hurting the guy [22M] I'm dating, and I don't know what to do. | So, this is a little complicated. Though maybe I'm making this more complicated than it needs to be. I dated John [24M] for 4 years, the fourth year being long distance. We were willing to put up with the distance because we really thought that would be it, just the one year, and we'd be together at the end of it.
Then John got accepted into a master's program he didn't think he'd get into, across the world from where I was going to school. We decided to call it. I was heartbroken, but I tried to pick up the pieces and move on.
6 months after the breakup with John, I felt ready to get back on the dating scene by seeing an old friend, Mike [21 M]. We've now been seeing each other for 2 months. **I'm graduating and going to law school in a few months. It was always understood that my relationship with Mike was meant to be short lived and casual. We are exclusive, but we both fully acknowledge that long distance isn't an option for either of us, and I will go to law school across the country**. Mike is a really great guy, we have a good time together. He's patient and gentle and kind. We're both coming off long term relationships so neither of us want anything serious.
Recently, I came in contact with my ex. He contacted me about an area that's within my field of expertise for a casual consult, and I asked Mike's permission before interacting with him. We discussed other things, but I felt unready to establish a friendship with him, and went back to NC after this conversation.
Problem is, since talking to him, I haven't stopped thinking about my ex and the future we had planned out. It feels like I'm grieving the relationship all over again, and I also feel awful and selfish for feeling this way while I'm with Mike. He's such a good guy, I never wanted to hurt him, and I feel awful. Maybe I'm not as ready to date as I thought I was. Can anyone advise me on how to proceed? I don't want to hurt anyone. | Confused about my ex, worried I'm unintentionally hurting new guy. |
t3_2mdrrt | relationships | My [21M] girlfriend [21F] always spills secrets when drunk; how do I resolve this? | Going to try and keep this short. We've been dating for 6 months, and have a great relationship. Sober she's great. Drunk she's also great, but she has a bad habit of telling people things that were supposed to stay between her and I. Lastnight I hosted a party, and my good friend who's going through a hard time came over. I told her what was going on with him about a month ago, and explicitly said that she can't tell anybody, him included. At the party she walks over to him whilst drunk and says "Oh, I heard about such and such, I still think you're a good guy." He pulled me aside, and said that brought his night down, understandably.
This is probably the third time she's done this now. It only happens when she's drunk. When I approached her lastnight, she apologized, however I told her she's making me feel like I can't confide in her and tell her things in fear that she'll tell others when drunk. How do we move forward? | Otherwise great relationship with girlfriend turns sour when she's drunk; has habit of telling people things I told her in confidence. How do we fix this? |
t3_1hztmn | relationships | Me[27M], my friend [26F] told me she likes when guys make her chase them. | I'm really into this girl and have been for a while but have been unable to bring myself to do anything about it, fearing the worst and losing my best friend. We hang out maybe 1-5 times every 2 weeks and when we do it's the most fun I have! I really look forward to it every time. We also text nearly every day and talk about what's going on in our lives.
A week ago, while out with her and a few of her friends, some guy was hitting on her and one of her girl friends caught a slightly disappointed look on my face when I glanced up and noticed. She called me outside to talk to me immediately and confronted me about it. She told me not to tell this girl how I feel because I'm not her type. She said this girl is into jerks/assholes and that I'm too much of a nice guy. This was confirming all of my assumptions and worst fears. My friend has even told me that she dated douchebags mostly, even before they break her heart she know's their jerks.
Being the idiot that I am, this talk with her friend shattered all hope I had been carrying around, hope that someday the relationship would change into a romantic one. I've never felt worse in all my life, as if she'd already rejected me, and I still am having trouble getting over it. Strangely though, I'm now more motivated than ever, and I've decided to try to make a change. I want to take a shot instead of live life with this regret and frustration.
So my friend told me several months ago that she'd be awesome at getting chicks if she was a dude because she'd get them to chase her unlike all the guys who hit on her. I don't know if she was telling me this just to help me do better with girls, or she was just trying to give me a hint in how to attract her, but either way I feel like this might be my best approach with her.
My question is basically what can I do to try to get her to chase me? Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks! | My friend likes when guys get her to chase them, rather then the other way around. I want her to see me as more than a friend, and not sure how to change the dynamic of our relationship! |
t3_2rcm0t | relationships | Me [28F] with my fiance [28M] 3 years: fight frequently about small things but are otherwise very happy. How do we fix this? | My fiance (28M) and I (28F) have been together for 3 years (engaged for about 8 months, getting married in summer 2015). We are really happy together, have similar interests, support each other, etc. We have spent a lot of time working on how we communicate and on strategies for good communication (both day-to-day and when we're upset). We don't fight about the "big things" - sex, money, future plans, etc.
That said, in the past couple of months we have been fighting over silly little things, maybe 1-2 times a week (other times, the same things will make us laugh). What usually happens is that we're having a great time and one of us makes a small comment about something that results in us being upset or feeling misunderstood and we head off to separate rooms (i.e. one time it was over talking during a TV show - we couldn't think of many other examples so they clearly aren't important issues!). Usually we resolve it soon thereafter and we make up an action plan to avoid that issue going forward but it tends to tarnish the day for me.
We are already working through a book on steps to a great marriage and are planning to do some premarital counseling sessions before the wedding.
We thought we'd come to reddit and see if you have any strategies for diffusing situations like this before they become an issue. Thanks! | Any strategies for diffusing small arguments before they become a bigger deal than they should be? |
t3_rks6o | AskReddit | Side projects at work | First off, I'm a programmer. I like to design and build my own programs. But that's not my job - my job is to sit at my desk and investigate problems regarding servers, as sent to me via e-mail.
Now though, I've gotten a very quiet, discreet invite from my boss to join a programming side project. Supposedly short term, but it could be an excellent way to pad my resume and help earn myself a raise, so I accepted. But i was asked not to tell anyone else in our team, save the two others who were invited. That seemed reasonable - no need to create resentment for getting a change of pace.
However, I've been making discreet inquiries about the subject of our programming project, and it sounds like this "short term" project could last quite some time. Now I'm nervous - it sounds like it could eat quite a bit of my time, and I have a 4-month-old daughter to help take care of. At the same time, I won't deny we could use the money. | Supposedly short-term project sounds like it will last a while, worried it will eat what little time I get with my wife and daughter. |
t3_vp7rv | offmychest | I don't know what to do | I am a financial wreck. My husband and I recently split for the last time. I haven't lived on my own, ever. Technically I have been on my own for about two years now, with a brief period in there where my husband was living with me again. The first year I was doing alright I suppose. After I got my own apartment on my own, there was a scandal at work and my place of employment cut me down to literally one day a week. I guess now is a good time to point out that I also have my four year old daughter (3 at the time) and also my 17 year old brother. I was supporting myself, my daughter and my teenage brother. On one day a week. I got behind a bit and then my brother moved out and things started to level a bit. Fast forward about 6 or 8 months and then husband and I split. Ugh. I fall behind again and end up with two roommates. Things are good. First roommate moves out because of scumbag second roomie that mooches to the point of no return. I lose my job. Second roomie almost gets fired and goes down to one day a week at work. We are without almost two months of rent. I also want to get rid of second roommate (now only roommate). He is a rather large boy who does nothing but eat and complain about food and other lavish things that I have gone almost my whole life without needing. Roommate also borrows money and has people buy him food. I am tired of it because it is just adding to the stress of me not being able to support my daughter, let alone myself. My electricity has been off for two days now. I am getting an eviction notice within the week, my phone will be turned off as well. I don't have any food or money to pay for these things because the new job that I found is four days a week as a bartender/waitress. I only bring home enough tips at night to pay for the next few days living expenses. I dread going to the government for help but I need to. | in debt;cant support daughter;dont want to ask government for help |
t3_4tsfh3 | relationships | I [20F] get uncomfortable when my two friends [lower 20s F] talk about small dicks, it seems rude but I don't know if I'm being silly | Basically the title. I've only had one sexual relationship (my current boyfriend who I love and with whom I have wonderful sex) and my two friends have both slept with a few guys (probably around 5 each?). One is currently in a relationship with someone she likes a lot, one us single.
Them having had sex with a few people doesn't bug me at all-- they're having fun and it seems good, so that's not the issue. However, sometimes they can be really deprecating of guys with small dicks, saying things like "he wanted me to deep throat him but it didn't even touch the back of my throat" or "I could barely even feel anything inside me, I faked so hard" or one even saying some thing about a little asian dick. It just seems unnecessarily mean to publicly talk about that and I usually get a little quiet just because I don't want to join in on that. Dick size isn't something guys can control so why be mean about it? If the guy is a jerk, make fun of him because of that, not because of something arbitrary and not his fault.
I don't know, am I being too sensitive? Is talking about guys dicks like that more normal than I think and not that bad because it's between friends? Maybe i dont get it because i have only had sex with one person? Honestly have no idea. Maybe I just don't get it because I've never had a lot of physical preferences for some reason. Even when girls talk about hot actors or how they want guys to be taller, I've never really connected, so maybe it's just my disconnect. Thoughts? | When talking about sex, my friends can be mean about little dicks and it makes me uncomfortable since it seems so unnecessary. Is this more normal and ok than I think? If not, what am I supposed to say? They never say this in front of guys, just in front of friends, so maybe I'm being too sensitive. |
t3_2hoei7 | relationships | How do I m[17] handle this? F[17] | So me and my girlfriend got in a fight tonight. So I was hanging out with her and her friend. They start talking about my girlfriends ex's and what they did alone, while I was right next to them. I told my gf that I really didn't like hearing that. She says that it doesn't matter since I knew who she's been with. Then I said I don't think your boyfriend should her what you've done with your ex's. She just keeps saying it doesn't matter.
I don't know how to deal with it. She just doesn't get it. I even asked her if she understood why I was mad. She said yes. But then I asked if she wouldn't do it again. And she gave a very weak answer (sure).
How do I help this. | GF was saying what she did with ex's, says it doesn't matter. |
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