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t3_2nxztj | relationships | Me [25F] with my bf[26 M] of 1 year, did he break his commitment? | Hey there, I could really use some outside perspective as I'm really torn on this issue. I need someone to talk to and give me unbiased opinions :)
First off, when I first starting dating my bf, I found out he was cheating on me very early on after we verbally established exclusivity. He apologized and we moved on. He cut off contact with the other woman. He was still communicating with his ex-girlfriend and it was pretty obvious to me he was keeping her as a backup during this time. His ex is not a very nice person: while we were dating, she was actively making fun of me (saying how I am ugly multiple times), using racial slurs, etc. He did not defend me so I finally gave him an ultimatum that he needed to send her an email that they need to stop communicating or I'm out. He did exactly that and showed me the email. He seemed very remorseful that he hurt me and since then he has been a very good boyfriend.
However, this is where I need your opinions. Recently his ex's mother died, and a mutual friend of my bf and his ex contacted him to tell him to contact the ex and talk to her. He did not communicate with her but he did send flowers to her and the family. I guess the ex became bitter that he didn't bother to call her so she sent him a message stating that 'she's sad things had to turn out like this (the no communication) but she appreciates the flowers.'
I know it was very nice of my bf to send the ex flowers because her mom died, but something about this rubs me the wrong way. In the back of my mind, I'm wondering if he did this to keep her in the background just in case something happens between us so he can use this to get back with her. I know that he didn't technically break his promise with me but something just seems off.
There are details that I left out but I didn't want to bore everyone with paragraphs. Thank you for reading this. | bf sent his ex flowers while he agreed to sever ties to her because of past cheating and her being a bitch to me unprovoked. I'm torn. Should I let this go? |
t3_2omng1 | relationships | Me 20 M met a 19 F on okcupid and found her on fb through mutual friends | I decided to make an Okcupid account to meet a girl with similar interest. All my past relationships have been with girls who I have had very little in common with. I basically dated the girly girls who are smart but usually not interested in watching documentaries or talking politics. Most of my matches include the feminist type who are heavily involved in politics. I have never really had a friend or dated someone like this, so I dont know how to approach these type of girls.
Anyway, I come across this girl's profile who I have a 90% match who lives nearby. She is cute, not breathtaking but I take a look at her profile and she is someone I would definitely want to hang out as bro were she not a girl. I message her and she replies for a couple messages. I don't think much on it since I thought she probably went offline but then she doesnt message me back the next day when she is online.
It's been a few days since she was last online, so I decided to type her account name on my facebook search bar and surprisingly she came up with a mutual friend.
My question is what should I do now? Should I just forget about her if she doesn't message me back? Should I send her another message in a week or 2? Should I message her on fb or is that too creepy( even though all I had to do was type her username in the fb search bar)? Any advice is appreciated since I think I could really get along with this girl | Met girl on okcupid and messaged a few times but she has not been online. Found her on fb through mutual friends. What now? |
t3_49spfb | relationships | Me [32 M] with my girlfriend[27 F] 4 months, just want to know how to healthily express emotions in a long distance relationship. | This situation is somewhat complex so bare with me.
My gf lives in another state, finishing her PhD. She works all the time and has almost no free time except for the occasional text. She is very (understandably) emotionally disconnected.
I haven't been in a long distance relationship with someone this stressed out before. I dont know how to "be there" for her to help support her. I also dont know how to express my own (natural I think) feelings of loneliness, anxiety, etc without bringing her down. I push her away when I express these things. I try not to express them, try to be emotionally disconnected too, try to act like a suave robot, but I cant hold out long before my normal self comes back. I then want to talk about anything and everything involving our relationship, the future of us, etc. | How do I support someone emotionally in a LDR without actually being there? |
t3_4aop0b | Advice | Will this be the week? Nope. It's never the week. | I'm not doing well today, my friends.
I'm 30. I made $25k last year. I have to pay taxes to the government and work at a dead end job. I have three degrees, would love to be teaching at a community college, where all my professors have been telling me "there are plenty of jobs" (there aren't) or plying my trade in the free market somewhere, but I can't get a call back for a job. ALSO, there are about three (3) jobs for which I am qualified posted in my area every other month.
I'm getting married in May to a woman I absolutely adore, who doesn't care about my financial problems, but it's killing us. She thinks we need to move home, literally into her parents house, even though she has a great job she loves. It pays okay, but not enough to support both of us. I'm trying to get a raise, but it took my company (all of 5 people) four months to get a thermostat fixed. I can't quit, because I cannot get another job.
My love life is so good, but my professional life is, well, almost nonexistent. I just want to pull my weight. I don't want to be rich. I don't want money for free. I'm just being crushed by debt. I want to work. | Crushing student loans. Financial hardships causing stress for loved ones. Soul being destroyed. |
t3_teem2 | relationships | My girlfriend(22) lost a close friend today. He was in love with her and our relationship ruined their friendship. seeking advice. | They were close friends for a long time,but he had strong feelings for her. She knew about them and they tried to date a few times but it didnt work out on her end. After we started dating he stopped talking to her. fast forward 7.5 months. He goes into the hospital with backpain on thursday and they end up discovering kidney failure due to tumors. My girlfriend was able to get there in time today to be there when they took him off life support. As he was dieing his mom told her that she was the love of his life. I am being as supportive as possible, and trying to give her advice, as I have gone through deaths of friends before but its not helping. Is time the only cure here? When we were hanging out while he was still alive but in the ICU, she wasn't comfortable kissing me because she felt guilty. I dont really know what to do with myself. my instinct is to go to my gal so that I can take care of her and comfort her, but I don't think that is what she wants. | My relationship(7+ months) ruined my girlfriends friendship with a good friend of hers. They hadnt talked in 7 months because of us. He passed away today. How do I support and love my girlfriend while not putting our relationship on the back-burner? (Im 23, shes 22) |
t3_2e8w9v | relationships | I [22 M] have started developing strong feelings for a friend [22 F] I have recently become close with but have been friends with for 5-6 years. What should I do, and how should i approach it? | I have know this girl for almost 5-6 years. We've always had the same group of friends but only recently have I been spending a lot of time with her as well as talking to her on a daily basis.
Problem is, now I have started developing feelings for her AND I don't know how to approach her. She's always been the type of girl to not show affection nor will I ever be able to tell how she actually feels.
We spend a lot of time talking to one another, we workout together and. we hang out (either in groups or just together) at least everyday.
I will admit I like her and I've spent sometime thinking about it but she's never had a BF nor has she really done anything with a guy. And like I've mentioned before, she's not affectionate nor will she ever show it.
I'm not sure what to do because if there's nothing on her end, it'll just be awkward after... But I can never know with her. | I have feelings for a recent close friend. She's not the type to show affection or talk about feelings she has for guys so I can't seem to pick up how she feels about me. We spend everyday together and talk everyday. How do i approach this? Or should I walk away? |
t3_2dpap0 | tifu | TIFU By Being Stupid Teenager. | So like most TIFUs this wasn't today but yesterday.
So the yesterday me and my mate were going to hang out that night, and he was coming over to mine to just hang out play games and shit. So he texts me saying his mum isn't home from work yet and is late so she won't be able to drop him off yet. No big deal shouldn't be too long, right?
So I reply to him after he said "I don't know why she's late, she wont respond to my calls." I thought it would be funny to reply with "Thats because I'm fucking her atm" to which he responding with "very funny". A few hours later and me wondering where the fuck they are he calls me saying she was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver and thats why she was late... Fuck me.
So today I have just be sitting in my room trying to sum up the courage to call my friend and apologise again (I did last night when he called) but I feel really bad about the text and for him. | Texted friend saying his mum is late because I was fucking her, she was late because she died. |
t3_uiq8h | AskReddit | Anyone know how to care for a young Merlin (Falco columbarius)? | Yesterday in our newly purchased home, we found 2 young falcons in our window well. They couldn't fly out, because they obviously can't fly straight up. They were very distressed and possibly weak. We also found that they were nesting in our roof near said window well. So we managed to get both of them outside, but they can barely fly, so they both ran off under bushes.
The mother falcon was very pissed, and flying around for a few hours screeching.
This morning, apparently the same bird found his way back into my window well. He's probably been in there all night with no food or water. We put a water a dish for it at the moment, however we have no idea if they drink this way). The mom is still out there screeching for her young bird.
I did some research to identify this bird as a young Merlin (Falco columbarius), and probably about 35-45 days old.
Here's a pic I took of the scared lil guy.
The question is, is there anything I can do immediately? Should I just call animal control? Can the mother reclaim her young?
I couldn't find a "falcon" or "bird" related subreddit I had access too, so if anyone can point me in the right direction that would be great. | I found a young falcon, and want her to live. |
t3_150d4x | AskReddit | Skateboarders of reddit - what would you tell the parents of a 7 year old about skateboarding? | My almost 7 year old asked Santa for a skateboard. The thing is, neither my husband nor I know ANYTHING about skateboarding... other than you need a skateboard, some protective gear, and probably good health insurance, lol. I've been doing a ton of web searches, and reading a bunch of Amazon reviews on skateboards, and am even more confused than I was at the beginning, when all I knew was that going to Walmart or Target for a skateboard was probably a bad idea. I wouldn't buy a bike from there, so a skateboard is out of the question.
I'm pretty sure that many of you will say to go to a skateboard shop... unfortunately there are none close enough to us to easily go to, and getting a custom board for a 7 year old isn't realistic at this point in time. We have a friend who was a a professional skateboarder who has said he'd give our son lessons... but he's also a flake and keeps being a no-show when it comes to helping us buy a board, so I'm kind of on my own for figuring this out. | clueless mama needs to buy a first skateboard for her 7 year old son, knows nothing about skateboards |
t3_3gob4u | relationships | Manpanion [M30s] can't deal with my [F 30] snoring dog anymore. | I have a Boston terrier (moose) who is 9 years old. I got her when I was in college and living alone. She has always slept in the bed with me. Now she's old and I cannot bear the thought of her sleeping outside the bedroom and not understanding why.
My fiancé (James) and I have been together for 3 years and lived together for most of that. He was never raised with pets but quickly learned to love my moose, by his own admission. He is great with her - takes her out to Poop, gives her belly rubs and throws her ball incessantly. We just bought a house together and one of the major concerns for him was having a yard that the moose can play in, so there's definitely no underlying "he just doesn't like dogs" thing at play here.
As moose has gotten older, her snoring has gotten really loud. Lately (the last 6 months or so) James been complaining about it. So, on nights that he can't sleep because of the snoring, I take her and sleep in the guest room. I feel bad but also feel like I should be the one to sleep elsewhere because I'm the one who can't sleep without her in the bed. It doesn't make me angry or anything to go sleep in another room -I just don't want him to be frustrated about the dog snoring.
Before this would happen a couple times a month, but the snoring has gotten so bad it's a couple times a week now and James seems to get angry when I take the dog and sleep elsewhere. He always says he's going to sleep in the guest room, but I volunteer instead. This seems to irritate him more than anything.
In my mind I'm solving all of the problems because he gets to sleep in the bed and get a good night's sleep without interruptions, I don't lose any sleep wondering if he's lying awake while I'm sleeping in the guest room and Moose doesn't have to sleep alone.
Am I being unreasonable? Is there another solution? | dog named moose snores like a sonofabitch. Manpanion can't deal. Am I in the wrong? |
t3_2zb87o | tifu | TIFU by changing my pantyhose in a high school parking lot | I know this sounds like an obvious thing to not do but let me explain. I go between schools during the day and today I got a hole in my tights in the morning and the weather has changed from cold to not so cold so I didn't need thick tights anymore anyway. I grabbed a fresh pair at the store before driving to my next location. I pulled into the parking lot and realized that I did not want to walk into the school with ripped tights so I drove to the far end of the lot by a light pole where there were no people around. I hiked my pencil skirt up to my hips and slipped off the ripped tights and as I bent down to put on the new pantyhose I looked up through my front windshield and saw a camera on the pole pointed in my direction.
Since I am newish to this location I wasn't sure if these cameras were monitored so I went inside and walked through the main office and found the large monitor where all the school's security cameras are streamed in real time. Panic. Then I realize that no one has noticed anything and my car is just one of many. I consider that maybe there is a recording that the police officer who is stationed at the school reviews but I'm too afraid to ask. I just have to hope no one notices or zooms in on strange activity in a staff vehicle. | Possibly got caught on camera with my skirt up and pantyhose down. |
t3_21nhut | relationship_advice | [18/m] Does my [19/f] FWB want a relationship? | We went out about three years ago for four months. We've been pretty good friends for most of the time after that (same music taste, fields of study, hobbies, etc.). One night a couple weeks ago, while I was drinking, she was talking about hanging out, which I said sounded good. She then stated that fucking also sounded good. The next day we hooked up and ate some lunch, and have had several encounters after that. We also smoke a lot of weed together, and last weekend I stayed the night in her dorm. We've hung out before and only cuddled, with no sex, including on her period. I think that one day after sex, she said "I love you," but it was under her breath as quiet as possible, and I wasn't sure what she said, if anything, so I didn't reply. She also has started saying my name a lot more during sex than she did at the beginning of this arrangement. Another reason I think she may want more is that before we went out the first time we would get into pretty intense makeout sessions, and only about 3 days after starting to go out we fucked. Basically, she's very forward with her actions, not her words. Do these signs mean she wants more? Or am I just reading too much into things and she's just using me for sex (which she very much enjoys, as do I). | does my ex/fwb want a relationship? |
t3_3k5c0o | relationships | Me [28 M] and my 8 year [30 F] girl friend. Considering ending it... | First off, thank you reddit. I can't really talk to anyone I really know because GF and I share just about all friends.
My relationship with my current girlfriend has been going on for about 8 years. Times have been great, times have been bad but overall we've been happy, minus a few times.
About a year ago she cheated on me and without going into too much detail I won't excuse her actions but I became very distant and certainly shoulder some of the blame for her wandering. I know reddit generally likes to cut off such people but I really do love her and decided a second chance was worth it.
That was about a year ago, life has been ok, sex has been good but relatively infrequent, we both always seem so busy...and what really bothers me is that I just can't help but 'remember' the cheating. Which eats me inside a little over time.
Now I met a new girl at work [25 F], she's a couple years younger. She's fun, interesting and generally seems like a great girl. So I'm in a bit of a bind...
I can actually say that I'm not really happy anymore in my relationship but there is so much baggage that goes along with that. Virtually every friend is shared, we own a home together...our lives are incredibly intertwined. We have a mortgage and in the event of a split need to sell a house and figure out assets/furniture. It would be a bit of a nightmare, involve splitting $200,000 in assets/profit from sale of home. I really do love my current girl friend but it seems that I love her more and more as my best friend and less a girl friend/lover. | With a girl for 8 years, own all sorts of things together, lives intertwined...life becoming monotonous. Met new girl that brings a smile to my eyes and makes me reconsider what I have now...but it will be a massive lifestyle change to make a real move... |
t3_1cfwdm | dating_advice | [25/F] What to do about a coworker [20-something/M]? | I am sort of infatuated with a coworker. We've worked together for a couple of months now. He's overly friendly/borderline flirty but nothing concrete. I worry that maybe he just has one of those personalities that always comes off as flirty when he's really just friendly. Edited to add: I also don't know if he's seeing anyone, or straight for that matter.
I want to see if there's anything there, but there are problems: 1) I'm just over a month out of a relationship, so I don't know if I'm feeling this way for the wrong reasons; 2) I have to work here for the summer, so I don't want things to be unbearably awkward, 3) I have literally never made the first move before. I worry that my ego and self esteem are fragile right now and wouldn't handle rejection well. However, this is the first time in what seems like forever that my ex and the devastation of losing him isn't on my mind 24/7.
I'm not really sure what to do - I don't know if I'm rebounding, or misinterpreting friendliness or something. | Have a crush on a coworker, unsure if he's just being friendly and whether or not I can handle asking someone out 1 month into a breakup. |
t3_i13ug | AskReddit | Surf Rescue with a Paddle-Surf-Board, where do I find any videos and instructions? | so, here's the problem: I'm one of the few surfers, of my area (center Italy, east coast); the local lifeguards asked me some help to teach them how to use the surf board for sea rescue.
In italy there are only two surfboard like that one (I mean the ones used for rescue), one here and one somewhere in the north. So basically nobody knows how to use that thing in emergency situations.
we did some practice trials, being a surfer, for me there are no problems in paddling out, reaching the victim, picking him up on board and paddling back to the shore. but, before teaching them something that may dangerous for the victims and for themselves, I would like to get some informations about the rescue techniques.
**Of course these guys are professionals and know how to handle any situations, moreover they are very responsible and, until they will have figured it out how to use that surf board they will not use it!**
I've found a couple of infos online, but I'm confident that among redditors someone can help me!! thanks in advance!! | need to (learn and) teach to use a surf board for sea-rescue, but I don't know how! |
t3_2r9gkd | tifu | TIFU By not getting the hint | So this actually happened a year ago, and it took me a couple weeks and my roommate to figure out how stupid I was.
So last year my roommate was having his girlfriend over for the weekend. His girlfriend didn't want to make the drive alone (it was like 6 or 7 hours), so she asked if her best friend could come as well. Lets call this best friend Mara. I didn't mind Mara coming, she was single and kinda cute. Friday night comes. Roommate takes his girl to a hotel cause he's considerate. I take Mara to a party. We drink, she seems she's having a good time. Its getting late, so we go back to my place.
Writing this is just painful.
She asks if she can come back to my room. Sure, cool. She then asks if I'm fine with her undressing. Sure, cool. We then precede to make out in my bed for about an hour and a half. All the while she is grinding against me in her bra and panties, complimenting my physique.
You know that stereotype about guys where they just don't get the hint when I girl wants something? Yeah, that's me. I think she just wants to, you know, be cuddly and make out. Eventually I just want my damn sleep, and I somehow get her to stop sucking my face off and we both fall asleep.
Rest of the weekend passes in a blur, not really anything much to say about it. A few weeks later I was talking with my roommate about that weekend, and he told me that Mara left kind of hurt, and he didn't know why I didn't have sex with her. My first response was actually, "Who is Mara?" - I genuinely didn't remember her. He laughed, I wasn't trying to be funny. In a burst of inspiration I remembered who Mara was. And I also realized that she totally wanted to have sex with me. I am an idiot. | mostly naked cute girl was grinding against me whilst making out with me, and I friend-zoned her cause I thought that's all she wanted. |
t3_3bnef2 | relationships | I [25 F] am trying to find a good way to show my boyfriend [37 M] of three months that I love him. | In my past, I've had a mix of good relationships and bad ones. I think the common thread in all of them is that my partners have all been particularly receptive to physical affection, ranging from holding hands in public to making love. This hasn't ever been the sole expression of love, but it's certainly been a major one, as a small reminder throughout the day of how much we care for each other.
Currently, I'm in a relationship I could easily see lasting for a long time, if not lifelong. I completely adore my partner. We get along amazingly well, have deep conversations, and even fight well. He's absolutely perfect for me. Thing is, he's not so big on the physical affection front. I haven't told him that I love him when I'm sober, so I don't know if he takes my affection seriously? Granted, he did say it back at one point, but kind of indirectly. I'm kind of frustrated. What I'm trying to find is a way to express my feelings for him, rather than just outright telling him, because I'd rather show than tell anyway. Any advice on this? Anyone been in a similar situation? What did you try? What worked? | Looking for good ways to show my boyfriend I love him throughout the day besides physical affection. |
t3_nov1w | AskReddit | How can I compete with person who made it to 1st place because of popular Internet friend's tweet? | Hello Redditors!
I'm in a competition where I'm trying to win a $10,000 scholarship and in the competition, you can vote once a day and all you do is click "Vote Now". I was winning 1st place for 2 months, but two days ago a person from around last place had a well-known friend who makes CoD videos on YouTube, has 200,000 YouTube subscribers, 80,000,000 channel views, and 12,000 followers who call themselves the ****** army, made a tweet saying ""GO HERE AND CLICK "VOTE NOW". IT'S FOR A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND, TAKES 2 SECONDS <3"
What took me 2 months of relentless requests for votes from family, friends, coworkers, and even reconnecting with old acquaintances and having them vote everyday, this guy took in literally 2 hours. It's lame that he entered the contest 2 months after and put absolutely no effort at all and yet is first place now, but there's nothing in the rules that says he can't do that.
I don't have any friends with 12,000 ardent supporters and I've tweeted engineering accounts, surfers, skateboarders, surfing magazines, skateboarding magazines and I have not had 1 retweet :( Is it even ethical for anyone with that many supporters to do that? Is that why the person deleted his tweet a day later and no one has retweeted me? What should I do Reddit?
Disclaimer: I posted absolutely no details regarding this contest so I can't possibly be using you guys for votes since I understand how much Redditors don't like to be used for votes. | Someone's friend tweeted a person to 1st place and he got 2 months worth of votes in 2 hours. How can I match that? |
t3_39bo9h | travel | This or That: Backpack Edition | I will be going to Europe for about six weeks starting next Tuesday and am trying to keep it to just a carry-on.
I went to REI yesterday and a really helpful and experienced backpacker fitted me for an [Osprey Kestrel 48] I am 6'3", so he recommended getting a 48 because it's a bit larger and would fit me better, although I want to travel as light as possible (was looking at a 40-46). He fitted me for carrying 30lbs, but seeing as how I'm only bringing clothes, toiletries, and a couple electronics (laptop, Kindle, phone)--and the electronics will probably be in a small daypack as my "personal item"--I honestly don't know if I'll need the whole thing. It just feels pretty large. Plus, although I understand the need for straps to help you carry the weight better, I want more of a pick-up-and-go style of backpack if I can get away with it than the Kestrel, which has four different sets of straps. It also just felt weird wearing it--like I'm going hiking or something when I really just want to be able to carry my things on my back.
Now, I was at another store and one of the employees told me about a sale they have starting today for 40% off [Patagonia duffel bags] which they can attach backpack straps to, so that I can carry it as a duffel bag or as a backpack. This feels more like a pick-up-and-go type bag, and it will be about half as expensive after the sale. However, I'm worried about durability of this bag compared to the Osprey one.
Does anyone have any advice about this situation? I see Osprey Farpoint 40 recommended a lot--is that more what I should be looking towards? | Looking for a backpack that I can bring clothes and toiletries in for a six-week trip through Europe--not hiking or anything, just want to have all my things ready to pick up and go. It's paramount that I will not have to check this bag. Plan on having a smaller pack for my electronics as my "personal item." Also want a bag that I can use for many years of future travels. Any advice appreciated. |
t3_2fzc86 | relationship_advice | Im (20/m) living with my mother (50/f). Sister moved away, alone living with mother,fight frequently. | Well to start, my relationship with my mother has always been rocky. She's narcissistic as well as controlling. My father died about 2 years ago and since then we have always been at odds. The only peaceful times in our relationship is in-between arguments waiting for the next one to eventually spark up. Now my sister has always been the bridge between us stopping the arguments and essentially saving the family, but she moved out today,and now my mother and I are alone. Both her and I are know arguments will eventually occur. Now I need some help as to how to prevent arguments and how to coexist with her.I have depression and are currently taking medication for it although she doesn't believe i have it so if anyone has advice for that, as well as some sort of plan or advice that they can give me will be greatly appreciated. | Sister moved away, alone living with mother,fight frequently, need advice. |
t3_m35bz | AskReddit | I've been with a number of girls since I broke with my ex.. | .. but I haven't been able to keep it up with any of them. I spent the final two years of a five year relationship dreaming constantly about getting new tail. We broke, I was devastated, but never in a million years though I would have trouble layin' it to new and exciting women.
The first girl was out of this world gorgeous. I mean.. ridiculously gorgeous. We got into it, I was obviously really turned on, but halfway through my second head just lost it's steam! We both chalked it up to 'just one of those times', and moved on. We slept together a few more times after that, and again each time second head just lost it's steam. I actually fucking faked orgasms. Ugh. This situation wasn't super alarming at the time, as she was able to get off before my imminent failure.
Fast forward ... I've had a few one night stands that ended in the same fashion. Rearing to go, get into it, lose power halfway through.
But tonight.. I got into it with someone I'm pretty good friends with. The story goes just like before - turned on like crazy, goin' at it, and boom... dead in the water. She was upset about it. I tried to tell her 'It just happens every once in a while', but she wouldn't buy it, and just kept on trying. I wanted to get out of there so badly, out of pure embarrassment. She wouldn't let it happen, heh. She ended up giving me head for about 25 minutes until I basically forced a laughable load out of myself.
I just don't get it.
Alone, with porn.. bust like a champ.
With anyone at all since my ex, I flop over when it counts.
WTF is wrong with me? | can't keep it going. |
t3_2yhmhu | relationships | How do I learn to give my girlfriend more space? (M/F19) | I'm sorry for any errors in this post, I'm on mobile.
My girlfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for 3 and a half years and for the last half a year we've been separated because we went to universities 90 minutes apart. Before, we lived in the same town approximately 10 minutes apart and spent most of our time (when possible, sometimes when we should have been doing other things too).
Now we see each other once every two weeks if we're lucky. This alone was a huge step for us because we are a very cuddly couple. However we made up for it by messaging every day and sometimes skyping in between our physical meetings. Recently though, she has said that the distance is getting to her and she's confused about us. I think that it's not that either of us did anything wrong.
We had a really teary call a few days ago about what to do about our relationship and we couldn't decide in anything because she "doesn't know". I tell her that I want to stay with her no matter what but she isn't so adamant. We decided to "take it easy" for a while and we pushed back when we would next meet (was going to be this weekend, now is planned for 3 weeks from now). We also agreed to talk less because our messaging is getting a bit repetitive.
The problem is that I am head over heels for this girl and it is tearing at my heart to just not talk to her for most of the day (and when we do talk it seems like there's an elephant in the room). I've been reading some relationship advice and talked to my parents and they say that I should give her time and give her space to make a decision on her own but it's hurting me. How can I come to terms with this? | my girlfriend and I have always had a lot of contact, but now we aren't because of distance and emotional reasons. How do I cope/what can I do? |
t3_3ggqqu | relationships | I (19M) in 3 year relationship. But keep using other people for my own emotional gain. | I'm in a relationship. I feel happy ,its long term its been for nearly 3 years. But this whole time I have to be talking to someone else.
And this changes regularly. At the minute I am talking to 3 different people who have no idea that I'm not who i say I am. I keep needing to talk to them making them fall for me and want me. This makes me feel good, but i get bored of them after a while and have to find someone else. I understand that I have a probelm but I dont know what to do.
I know what to say to get people to fall for me. I know its not just sex is just emotional play but I love how i can get them to do anything I want. I love the rush I get when they send nudes etc. I know they want to fuck me and to some extent I want to fuck them too.
I haven't cheated but I feel like I could. I just need the constant need to know someone is in love with me and wants me and I feel like my Girlfriend is just not enough.
I just love getting people to do what i want with nudes etc.
I love my girlfriend more than anything but I just need more and its taken till now for myself to finally admit it.
I don't know if this is the right sub but i needed to just get this off my chest and just want help from anyone that has ever felt this way before as well? Or if someone can direct me to the right place to post this. Thank you Reddit. | What do I do? Or can anyone tell me if they have felt the same way before? |
t3_2ylcui | tifu | TIFU by forgetting what was in my backpack | So today I had an interview at a grocery store, and innocently brought a backpack to carry food on my walk back to my apartment. The interview went well, I bought some bread and eggs, and began my walk home so I could enjoy the nice day.
Everything was going well until I set my backpack down to take off the coat about half way back. That's when I saw them. Two wrapped, strawberry flavored condoms in my backpack's side pocket. They had been passed around my friends a few months back since no one wanted strawberry flavored condoms, and had ended up in my backpack one night. Obviously, I had completely forgotten about them, and had just gone to an interview with them for all to see. Now I can only hope that no one noticed or says anything because unemployment sucks. | Unconcealed condoms may result in further unemployment |
t3_2yc1gc | relationships | Is it wrong to hide your anger from your BF to prevent upsetting him? (24F, 27M, 1 yr 3 mnths) | My BF pissed me off by cancelling weekend plans. He asked if we could meet during the week instead but just told him I'm busy and listed my plans. I am genuinely busy on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday but I lied about Wednesday. I won't be in the mood to see him and I don't want to tell him I'm angry because it seems like when I do that, he thinks there is something terribly wrong with our relationship, even though it's perfectly healthy to have arguments once in a while with your SO... (Well, I think it is anyway...)
Was it wrong of my to lie to him? I never stay angry for too long and don't hold grudges so part of me wonders what is the point of telling him and stressing him unnecessarily. | I often hide my anger when I'm upset with my boyfriend because he has a habit of thinking that there is something terribly wrong with our relationship if I get angry once in a while... I always get over my anger and don't hold grudges so I don't see the point of stressing him unnecessarily. Is it wrong of me to lie and pretend I'm not angry? |
t3_2q65vn | relationships | [21 F] tells me she has boyfriend. I [22M] want to remain friends but haven't spoken to her in over month. What to do? What should my first message be? | I invited out this girl a couple of times to hangout but then she sends me a message saying that she's doesn't want to give me the wrong idea and that she has a boyfriend.
I was obviously a little hurt but I remain calm and text back saying I understand.
After that it got a little awkward. I don't speak to her in over a month on chat and the only time we saw each other is when we were crossing the street to campus and gave each other blank looks.
I really want to remain friends with her but I fear I may have blown it. I regret sulking too much but now I'm afraid to re-initiate contact out of fear I may seem creepy or harassing her.
What to do? What should I message her (bearing in mind that we haven't spoken in over a month since she politely rejected me)? | Went out with girl, she says she has boy friend, I say I understand but secretly sulk. We don't speak to each other on chat for over a month and the only time I saw her she gave me a blank expression not even saying hi. I want to remain friends with her but don't know how to re-initiate contact. What should my first message be? |
t3_39imh4 | relationships | My brother [28 M] is threatening me [17 M] since I remember. | ^(I hope this is a right subreddit for my post.)
So long story short my brother is a drunk, he drinks for more than 15 years now, and he's not going to stop. He's always been threatening me and my mom even if not drunk. He's been in jail many times but it doesn't seem he learnt something from it. My mom passed away cca 7 months ago so I don't have her by my side anymore. My dad (I call him by his name) never opposed my brother, he never even tried (I think he's scared of him) but on the other hand he agrees that my b. shouldn't drink (?!).
I've never felt comfortable at home with my brother and I don't know how this affected and will affect my scooling. I just finished the 3rd year of High school and my next (and the last) year is the hardest.
To sum up, I don't know what should I do. I'm so sick of this situation at home but I don't know if I can actually change anything because my brother never physically hurt me.
Should I move out? I have grandparents which don't live far away. And my dad will never tell my brother to move out or sth.
How can I get out of this? And another info, I live in Europe (Slovenia specifically). | I don't know can I leave peacefully when my brother is drinking and threatening me. |
t3_2xl0wc | relationships | I,[18M], have possibly ruined things with my [18F] girlfriend | We're both in college and have been dating for about five months. She's my first kiss, I lost my virginity to her, the whole deal. However I'm the 6th guy she's had sex with and her third serious boyfriend. So basically I've always had doubts about how I really feel bc I have nothing to compare it to, I have no previous relationships. Recently though she has been under a lot of stress at school and it hasn't been the best, she has snapped at me a few times and last night made a joke about going back to her ex. My share of the blame is that I haven't been very affectionate or loving recently, and today she said she thinks I am only affectionate for sex and don't care about her. How can I salvage this? | Haven't been very affectionate to girlfriend because reasons, how do I fix it? |
t3_2xuljg | relationship_advice | Has anyone gotten back with an ex after you felt like you were already over them? | A quick throw-away here...
Some details...
Me: 23/M
Ex: 22/F
Dating period: 2 years (this was a long distance relationship for the majority of the time except during summers when we were on break from school)
Well my ex and I have been broken up for 6 months. During through about the first 3 months I communicated to her once or twice that I would like to get back together with her. At the time she said she wasn't ready and said she had too many things to figure out on her own. Around the 3.5 month mark I started to get over her and actually started dating someone else for a few months.
About 3 weeks ago my ex came over to my apartment and proclaimed her love for me. If you've ever heard the song "shotgun rider" by Tim McGraw, it was very much like that. She told me that many of the things we had disagreed on (mainly inconsequential religious things) she had come to my side on. Anyway she says she still loves me and wants to get back together with me. I pretty much have moved on, but I do remember the "good ol' days". We really did have something when we dated, but the bottom line is I have trouble getting excited about dating her again. Has anybody gotten back with an ex after you already felt you had "moved on"? How did it go? | Dated a girl for 2 years. Broke up 6 months ago. I feel like I have moved on; recently ex says she still loves me and wants to get back together. Looking to see if anyone has gotten back with an ex after they already felt they've moved on and how it went. |
t3_1ndo52 | dating_advice | Need a little help to talk with a girl, details inside | Hi everyone, I'd like to ask for some help.
Here's my situation, I'm male, 17 (France), and I go to university. (College, if I'm not wrong, in US). Basically, there's one girl in my class (of 480 people) that I have a crush on, she's 17/18. I never talked to her and I'm not sure she even saw me once, but I looked at her a lot in class and sat not so far so I could hear the way she talk, basically I'm interested by her.
So.. my point is here, I need advices to talk to her and really need, a good way to talk with her but not looking creepy or whatever that could turn her back.
Few information about me : I play video games, I party a lot, I practice Brazilian Jui jitsu, and I enjoy music. (I'm a normal guy in tastes). For the appearance, I don't look bad I was told, but I'm sure also I'm not a brad pitt. I'm not really shy,or socially awkward, and I have a good general culture. I'm still virgin, and I had only one relationship when I was 15 which lasted 1 month, it wasn't me that made the first step.
Thank you for your help and I apologize for my English which isn't perfect (still learning everyday !). | I just don't know how to talk to a girl in my class that I don't know at all, and I'd like to date her. |
t3_1ofo0u | dating_advice | Having a hard time not seeing her M20 F18 | Hi,
two months ago I went on a date with the girl I liked.
It went alright, I guess, maybe a little bit awkward, since we are both not that experienced.
Since then I didn't have much time,because I moved out of town to a university.
We still saw us like every weekend or so, and held hands and stuff, nothing too fancy.
But two weeks ago, I met her in a bar where our friends usually hang out and we kind of ignored all of them and just talked, had fun and kissed. A lot. I was so happy and we agreed to meet each other again on the next day.
I really wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend on that second date, but the next day she wrote me that she was sick.
Now all I can think of is her and how much I want to tell her how I feel about her.
But there is just no time at the moment to see each other, our next date will be in early november :/.
I try to write to her as often as I can, but usually am I the one who opens the conversation...
does that mean, that she doesn't want to talk to me?
This weekend we agreed to at least try to see each other at the bar, but I don't think that I should tell her all of this drunkenly.
I seriously don't know what to do in this situation, should I write her what I feel? call her? I want to do it face to face and sober but thats the problem here..
I just hope I don't lose her to my inability to see her as often as I want to.
Sorry for the long text, but it felt good getting that off my chest. | Kind of in love with a girl, who I only see on weekends and not knowing if she's still into me. |
t3_ctwjr | AskReddit | Can anyone draw a Unizorse for me? | My girlfriend and I have been having an argument about what a hybrid of a [Zorse] and a Unicorn would be called. I think that Unizorse is a superior name, while she prefers Zorseacorn. Anyway, we are going on vacation in a few weeks and she said that she is making a sweet Zorseacorn t-shirt to wear. I would like to counter her shirt with a Unizorse version, but I have no artistic ability. Would any redditor with awesome skills help me out? If you were willing to make a shirt and mail it to me I would even pay for it. I was thinking of just a white t-shirt with a Unizorse on it and the word Unizorse! written underneath. Maybe a rainbow in the background for style. | I want a picture of a mythical animal on a shirt |
t3_4ll03a | Advice | Self abusive GF is in real trouble | My girlfriend (27) hates our living situation. We both teach in Korea and will be eligible to leave together next year, March, and go back to my home country of South Africa to start work. We've been in Korea for 4 years at this point.
She hates the industry, as it can be fake and very anti-foreigner at times. She hates teaching, and having to be disingenuous with parents about how their kids are doing. She feels like she is wasting her life doing this. She also has severe back problems but refuses to get PT because it costs too much in her eyes. I agree the whole thing's not ideal but I tend to stay very positive and have been a rock for her to lean on.
But her mood swings are insane. She's clearly somewhere very bad emotionally because when things get bad she descends very quickly into hopelessness and anger, and very often points the finger at me. She talks about killing herself, but then qualifies it by saying she only thinks about it in a "if a car ran into me, I probably wouldn't jump out of the way" sense. She also blames me for not "manning up" and marrying her so we can leave sooner. Her attitude and negativity though have made me really uncertain.
All of that was fine and well until tonight she was having computer problems at the last minute before an assignment had to be handed in. She ran into the kitchen and got a knife out of the drawer and stabbed herself in the thigh around six times. The cuts are very shallow looking and she's not in any danger, I immediately got out the neosporin and the band aids and patched her up but what the flying fuck just happened? She has to go! It's basically a death knell for our relationship because i can't trust her to not hurt herself in SK now. Like I took the knife from her and marched her back to her laptop to finish her assignment while I patched up her leg but holy shit. What if she's at home alone and something makes her upset and she kills herself? Or is this BECAUSE i was here and she'd never do it if there wasn't someone to feel sorry for her, in which case who the FUCK am I even dating? | gf stabbed herself in the leg out of frustration tonight. I don't know what the appropriate thing to do next is. |
t3_5400oh | relationships | My SO [30 M] is friends with an ex and I [24 F] am uncomfortable with the friendship | My BF is very good friends with his ex GF, and the friendship makes me uncomfortable. They broke up mutually while they were waiting for her to move away from her parents (who are very controlling and who disapproved of their relationship). Her parents' intervention is the *only* reason they broke up -- not because things didn't work out for some other reason. The plan was for them to pick back up where they left off once she was away from her parents.
Just before she moved out of her parents' house, my BF and I started dating. He decided that I was worth pursuing while he was waiting for her, and now we are engaged.
She has recently moved out from her parents' place and thus they are talking more and going to lunch (just as friends) sometimes, since her parents are no longer an issue.
He has told me in no uncertain terms that if something were to happen with our relationship (aka my death), she would be his second choice. He has explained that he is not opening himself up to feel any attraction to her at this point, since he's with me, but also said that he could fairly easily turn that attraction back on if our relationship ended.
He says that he is just good friends with her at this point since they have a great connection, and he wants to maintain that friendship (since he never had any great friends in his life before).
Obviously, I am concerned that with his second choice being in his life consistently, he would be more willing to give up on us and just turn to her when our marriage goes through hard times (even if that's a subconscious thing)
Can anyone give me some insight or advice? Am I being unreasonable or overly-worried about nothing? It's not that I don't trust him to not cheat -- I'm just concerned that he, even just subconciously, could be affected by his second choice being around. | My BF is good friends with his 2nd choice and I'm worried that it could have an effect (even just subconciously) on him when the going gets tough in our relationship. If he has an easy way out / safety net nearby, he might be more willing to bail. |
t3_53e5fe | relationships | My friend's sister's partner might identify as non-binary, and I think I've been misinformed. What's the best way to clarify/make sure I don't offend? | My [32F] BFF and I have been friends about 14 years, but her older sister Sarah lives 1,200 miles away, so I don't see her much except for on holidays and for big events. Last year for the Christmas get-together, she brought her new partner, Casey. Now, leading up to this event, I was told this was Sarah's girlfriend. And in fact, I believe that I had seen Sarah post about her girlfriend on Facebook. BFF's whole family talked about "her" coming, so I had a pretty good reason to assume that Casey identified as female, although their appearance was somewhat more masculine.
At one point during the party, I referred to Casey as "girl," because I can't remember what it was, but I called her "girl" in the joking way you do with your girlfriends. Anyway, there seemed to be some awkwardness after I did that, and I wondered if I offended, but I let it go in the moment.
Sarah has always been bi(pan?)sexual, and is involved in the BDSM community. She has always posted heavily on Facebook about consent and alternative relationships. After this event, it seemed like she posted more about gender identity and respecting preferred pronouns. Although (hopefully!) it's unlikely these posts were directed only at me, I have been kind of worried about it since.
Anyway, this year's holiday event is coming up and I asked my BFF (Sarah's sister) about her partner's gender identity, and BFF said that she herself has always used female pronouns, but she suspected that Casey might actually be non-binary and use "they."
I've considered FB messaging Sarah and asking about her own and Casey's preferred pronouns in advance of the event, and also if they turn out to be other than female, apologizing if I offended last year. I am worried about this because I really don't know her well at all and it's kind of a personal question. I have also heard that "preferred pronoun" is no longer the accepted terminology, so I don't want to dig a deeper hole. Does anyone have advice on how to approach this? | Friend's sister's partner has non-binary appearance, and I may have used the wrong pronouns in the past. What's the best way to clarify and right the wrong if necessary? |
t3_25qmsy | relationships | (Update) My [33M] wife [34F] has shut me out (literally) because I wanted some alone time... | Original Post:
Since some people asked for an update.
So I was feeling pretty shitty about the initial responses from the thread. Later I came back and read what everyone had to say and I guess you guys are just better at putting into words what I was kind of afraid of feeling (fear-feeling?) Sorry for not responding more I just felt a bit overwhelmed.
Anywho, I decided to just have some space to myself. Since I had all of my freelance equipment with me and I couldn't sleep, I just ate at a 24 hour waffle place for a bit. Went to a coffee shop. Hit Walmart for a new work shirt and went to work the next day. She never called, instant messaged, text, email, or anything. Around noon I gave her a call and her number was changed. When I left work my truck (in both our names) was missing. There is no public transport in my city so a co-worker gave me a ride home.
The lights were out and door was was locked from the outside. She took what the electronics she considered hers (computers/tablets), her clothes, her large tupperwares of sentimental items, our cats, her books, all framed pictures (left decorative paintings/posters), etc etc. She left a very long note that said she went to live with her family and was going to file for divorce and that 'her lawyer' would be contacting me. The note mostly consisted of reasons why she felt we needed to be divorced.
I know she only has two family members she could live with, one was out of state so I took a cab to her mother's house. The truck was there. Her mother answered the door and asked me to leave. I explained I just wanted to talk. I have never been violent or even raised my voice to anyone. She went inside and came back with the keys. She said my wife apologized for taking the truck and that 'it was a moment of petty rage' and that she would sign over the papers later when the 'lawyers got involved.' So I took a day off and ate some wings, drank the remaining absinthe and rum. | I got my free time now. |
t3_36bnej | relationships | I'm (M,22) slowly learning that I can't develop new relationships and I need some insight. | My now-ex-girlfriend, call her *Amy*, (F,22), of 6 years and I broke up over a year ago, and I'm finally feeling myself moving on with my life. This feels awesome- I don't feel the need to call her or see her, I'm growing and learning about who I am as person and I recognize that we've developed into new people who are generally incompatible with each other.
Unfortunately, we dated for so long and at such a young age (15-21) that everything about her is still stuck with me. Enter new girl: cute, genuinely kind and good person, has a similar world-view, is super into me. I want to like her, but I'm terrified of getting closer when everywhere we go it's like "*Amy* used to like this too" or "I remember when I did this with *Amy*." This situation has happened with more than one new girl and I've had no problem blowing them off when it got too serious, but this new girl is someone I actually want to get close to, but I guess I'm scared.
I'm just a regular guy at his computer who needs some help/insight into this problem from a stranger or two. | I can't stop thinking about similarities between my ex-girlfriend and new girls that I want to get closer to, and it's messing me up. |
t3_yuiqw | relationships | My new fiancee [25m] has given me [25f] an ultimatum to permanently delete any and all old photos of my ex. Is this a reasonable demand? | Engaged for a couple of months, together for a year, best friends since teenage years. Finally together and happy as can be, but... The ex of 6+ years is a very sensitive topic for him. He threw a rage fit last night when he discovered that I had only set privacy to "only me" on all my old fb albums instead of deleting them (complete with dramatically throwing off his pack of photos out the fourth floor balcony). Basically said that this is not something we can move on from without having worked it out and told me flat out: "It's either your past or our future." What he fails to understand is that they don't mean so much to me as they do to him. I feel like my past is not confined to this one man and I shouldn't have to edit anything out of my personal history or hard drive. It was an awful fight, he said that keeping on to those kinds of photos is degrating and humiliating to him personally. I, on the other hand, am at peace with my past, I don't want to return to it and have no contact with the ex. And yes, I do feel entitled to my personal effects and do not condone revisionism. There was a whole 'nother fight about why he went on my fb, but that's another can of worms. | fiancee is acting insecure and wants me to delete/revise my past. Do I oblidge him or stand my ground? |
t3_33lnom | relationships | My gf [20 F] is having a really hard time getting over issues in her head and I [21 M] feel like I'm unhealthy for her at this stage | So my gf was crazy about me for nearly 2 years. In that span she had 2 boyfriends and we became the best of friends.
During that span of time I was dealing with really bad depression and confidence issues so I was not ready for a relationship. I could not do relationships so I chose to be friends with her because I cared a ton about her and we had a lot in common.
Towards the tail end of those two years, maybe a year and a half into this. She had a boyfriend and I had finally recovered from my depression so I tried dating again and as my best friend, I'd tell her about my attempts. My attempts never actually went anywhere. Never even kissed them.
At around the 2 year mark she broke up with her boyfriend and we started hanging out more and eventually got together ^^YAY!
The issue now, 6 months into the relationship is that she has been having some, what seems like, depression issues herself. She says the root of them are that she doesn't feel good enough for me, doesn't understand why I'd choose her, is insanely jealous of one of the girls I went on one date with while she was with her boyfriend, she uses me as a complete support pillar and makes me the center of her life and a few other things in the same vicinity as the above.
For a long time I've been reassuring her that she's beautiful and that I didn't really chose anyone, I love her because of her and that the reason I could never have even thought of liking her before was because she had boyfriends but she says it's not the same thing because she wanted me for 2 years.
This is my first relationship. I feel like I've done everything I can to help her get through this stuff and it keeps coming back and I feel like she constantly questions my love, which hurts since I try to show it to her as much as possible. I feel as though me being with her is unhealthy for her own good and I just don't know what to do about this whole thing. Please help. | GF liked me for 2 years and had boyfriends but still questions my intentions now that we're together because of 1 girl that I went on a date with while she had a boyfriend. |
t3_24ze6u | relationship_advice | I have emotional detachment issues and don't know how to break up with my significant other (I really hate that term). | I'm a 25 years-old woman who's never been love and am genuinely convinced that I'll never fall in love. I can't form emotional attachments to people (not even with my parents). I've been dating someone for the past nine months, and things seem to be going well. However, I just don't love him. Actually, I sometimes ask myself do I even like him. Sure, as a friend, but nothing more than that.
He says he's in love with me and can see us together decades from now, which kind of freaks me out. I don't want to settle down. Ever. Nor do I want to be beholden to another person. We've become really good friends since we started dating, and I want us to remain good friends. But I'm terrified that if I break up with him, our friendship will disintegrate as well. I know he'll be devastated and probably won't ever forgive me (he's the type that holds grudges). He says he doesn't mind that I'm not in love with him right now, but if I still felt this way a few years later, he'd be really hurt. | How do you break up with someone who's in love with you? Can you still remain friends afterwards? |
t3_3rl91i | relationships | Me [18 M] with my GF[18 F] of 3 years broke up, now I want to be 'saved' | About a month ago, my highschool girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me. We really had a mature relationship, that many older coworkers I had, as well as adults said they looked up to. Everyone believed we would be the 'highschool sweethearts', including me. My GF on the other hand seemed to never believe in that idea quite as much. Well, she got ot college, and I am taking a gap year, so the experiences we are going through right now are extremely different. We had planned to **Try** and make it work in college, and three weeks in she was done. However, she laid it out saying something along the lines of " I think you are the one, there's nothing better I can imagine, but I don't want to always wonder what could have been" kind of thing. We are going to try and not speak/speak minimally for this school year and have set up a date to meet up and tell eachother about our year in the spring/summer. After we spent some time crying to eachother and talking to eachother about how scary it was, we just kind of enjoyed eachothers company for the last time and got ice cream and went to the book store. Ok, so great, I think we broke things off in a very positive way, there was no anger but mostly a lot of vulnerability.
Now that it's been a month or so, I have been struggling with this idea of wanting her to 'save' me. I'm not a big drinker and not at all flirtatious person. However, part of me wants to become self destructive, and break other women's hearts on purpose, and create issues and anger that I really don't feel for some dream of my now ex girlfriend seeing the pain she caused and wanting to 'fix' or 'save' me. I am not at all an angry person, and whenever I want to go down this path I have to convince myself to feel angry, but some part of me feels like this is the only way. I am curious if anyone has had a similar experience of trying to be 'saved' succesfully or unsuccessfully. | Why do I want to be 'saved' and how can I avoid this mentality? |
t3_vkjh1 | jobs | Turning down a job I've already accepted | I got offered an entry-level job last week at an insurance firm in a city about an hours commute away from me, through an agency. Before I'd heard back from this job, I got an interview for another job and agreed to attend on Wednesday. I then heard back from the first job who offered me a position and I accepted it.
I'd much prefer to have the 2nd job (the one I have an interview for on Wednesday) because the hours are better and it pays more, with much less of a commute. There are 3 people including myself interviewing for the job on Wednesday so it's by no means guaranteed, but I'm not sure what to do. I want to let the people at the first job know that I can no longer accept the position, but I'm due to start a week tomorrow and want to give them as much notice as possible. I won't find out if I have the 2nd job until the end of the week.
Where do I stand with telling the 1st employer I no longer wish to accept the job? I feel terrible, the guy that interviewed me was lovely and the lady at the agency has been really helpful but ultimately the 2nd job is much better for me. | Accepted a job but have an interview for 2nd job which i'd prefer. Not sure what to do. |
t3_35ja6d | tifu | TIFU by driving without a licence. | So I am 16, live in California, and got my permit about 8 months ago, and 3 days ago I failed my driver's license test by one critical mistake (right turn, not looking over shoulder).
So yesterday my friends tell me in a group chat that they are going to watch a play at another school and invited me to come along. Although not legal, I offer them a ride to the school and agree to watch the play which started at 7 P.M. Play ends at 9:30 and me and 2 other friends go to Jack and the Box to get some food (we are in the same car). Law states that minors are not aloud to drive past 10 P.M. so I try and rush home. On the way home the street lights are blinking red indicating that the intersection becomes like a "stop sign". After about 2 intersections I notice there are a great deal of police pulling people over with their lights on. I thought if I drove responsibly they wouldn't pull me over, I was wrong.
I stop at an intersection and a police officer tells me to roll down my window and proceeds to ask for my driver's license (It was a DUI check). I told him I didn't have one (no point in lying to the police) and he told me to pull over to the right where there were more cars. Another police officer proceeds to ask me questions regarding registration, insurance, car model and year, etc. They ask me if I have any paperwork and I gave them my permit and they asked if I knew I wasn't suppose to be driving this late and or driving at all. They took my permit, women said "scratch him off" and proceeded to give me a traffic ticket. Ticket said, no driver's license and that was it, nothing about the car or my friends.
I had to call my dad which didn't know that I took the car and he had to drive my car home. The ride home he yells at me, telling me that I shouldn't have driven without a license and i'm not suppose to drive my friends. When we get home he takes my keys and my computer away. Now I am here with only my phone and a trip to court. | Drove at night when i'm not suppose to without driver's license, get pulled over, got a ticket, now no car, and no license till i'm 18 + a trip to court. |
t3_2e24ei | relationships | Alcoholic sister (60) is getting more and more erratic and needs to move out of Mother's (84) house. Don't know what to do. | Sister (60) has history of drug / alcohol abuse, never worked, always lived at home. Mother (84) lives there, too. Sister has been "normal" for a few years, but every now and then starts drinking and gets erratic (crashes cars, yells, screams, etc.)
Lately, Sister has been barricading herself in Mother's house, yanking the phones out of the wall, locking all doors, refusing to let anyone in. (She's drinking again.) She keeps screaming, "this is muh house get out." I don't think it's safe for Mother, but Mother won't do anything about it.
Brother (55) wants to call adult protective and get a restraining order to keep Sister out of Mother's house, but Mother won't cooperate, because she doesn't want Sister to be homeless. Sister has never been violent towards Mother, but Sister has been violent towards others, including me and Brother.
Do I just go forward with Adult Protective Services and let Sister get put out on the street? She's never worked in her life (doubt she could hold a job, and at 60, with mental issues, who would hire her?)
In an ideal world, I would put Sister in a home of some sort, but none of us can afford that. (Mother is fully capable of living on her own.)
I think Sister would qualify for some sort of public assistance. I just don't know if there's a home for annoying drunks. | Mom doesn't want to kick alcoholic sister out of Mom's house. Sister may be dangerous, but has no place to go. |
t3_2lye0p | relationships | Me[M] Her[F] I'm not sure whether i should end it after 4 months | Cant edit title although we are both 15
I met this girl at an event about 5 months ago. She was really nice and was almost interested in everything i did. We would watch movies together, have lunch every saturday at 2pm and talk until late night. I never really thought things would ever go wrong until very recently. Over the past 3 weeks she has neglected me and been getting angry at everything do. At first i thought it was the time of the month but it has been going on for a really long time now but its been 3 weeks now.
Everytime i call her she picks up and 'what, not interested; piss off'. I've tried to talk to her in person and find out whats wrong except she just says 'i dont care, how long do you want me here. i have stuff to do'. I dont want this relationship to end but shes like a black hole that sucks the life and fun out of you at the moment. | SO being really bitchy to me for a long time now. Tried consolidating but ignores me everytime |
t3_10sy7b | AskReddit | My wife has gotten lumps on her head,She's been experiencing blackouts of not remembering what she did but still being able to function. Reddit can you help me? | This is actually for my wife. She is having headaches and doing things and not knowing that she is getting them done. for example, she baked cookies the other day and completely forgot that she made them until the timer went off. She also went on a drive and came back and noticed a candle was lit but she didn't remember lighting it.She can only sleep for only 10 or 15 minutes and her head hurts to have it on the pillow. She has discoloration of red and purple that started on her feet and is now spreading up her legs at incredible rates and the lump on her head has more than tripled in 48 hours. She is unable to focus on things and is getting overly upset for no reason.She does have reason to be upset on some things but she is getting overly upset.She also can't really sync her hands up with her actions, such as not being able to hold on to a cup or type.She has not been hit on the head with anything, or fallen.
I am deeply concerned for my wife. We do not have any health care of any sort because we are still young which is why I am hoping that the minds of Reddit could have any possible ideas as to determining what this could possibly be before we take immediate action. She is in medical debt as it is but I can't help but take the risk of taking her to the ER for this. | My wife has lump on head, hurts, loses memory, hasn't fallen, discoloration of skin from feet to legs, can't sleep, gets overly upset. Need help because we are young college students with no health care. |
t3_h6u98 | jobs | Think twice before negotiating salary | I applied for a position for 'Entry Level Engineer' which dealt with Network/Sysadmin type of work with linux/windows iis/apache type of stuff as well as putting together new server builds for this web hosting company located at a data center.
I did their questionnaire and was chosen to interview along with four other candidates. I got a call two weeks later and they said they were interested in bringing me on board. So pretty much I had the job.
I really liked what the position had to offer and the type of work I'd be dealing with, but the pay was pretty low. I have rent and student loans to pay, not to mention expenses like everyone else and I just moved to California from North Carolina. So like common protocol, I said I was interested but if we could negotiate the rate at all and I gave them a range between what was offered + $15k. That's all it was.. me asking if we could meet in the middle somewhere. The guy interviewing me wanted me on board and understood so he asked the boss. When I got back in contact with him he said the boss wouldn't budge.. so instead the boss decided since money was such an huge 'issue' for me, that they just decided to go in a different direction.
I think this is ridiculous, it shouldn't hurt to ask. I really wanted the job and in the end would work for what they offered just because of the experience I'd gain.
So in the end.. if you're desperate in getting a job and an offer is given to you.. then think twice about asking for a salary negotiation. However.. if I was given the chance to go back in time.. I would have done it all the same. I think negotiation should be protocol, and everyone should try to get the best deal that they can out of anything they strive for.. why not? I think this in itself shows that you're proactive and don't just take things that are offered to you without *at least trying* to get the best deal. | Was offered job. I asked to negotiate. They took offer away. I still would have asked to negotiate if I could go back in time. Think twice before salary negotiation (only if you're desperate). |
t3_1ui4fn | relationships | I [19m] found a nude picture of my girlfriend [22f] of 4 months online that she does not know about. | This picture is old, probably from when she was about 18-19. I brought up the subject, because a friend of mine had a guy post nudes all over the internet. She said "If that happened to me, I would be devistated"
I was looking on a website I know, because my friend asked me if there was any way to search to see if nudes were on the internet. I dont know how to do that, but I remember hearing about this site so I decided to give it a look. I found my GF, with her first name, last initial, and her school and grade.
I am not happy about this. I know I should not hold this against her, I know what ex did this and he was majorly abusive. But I cant help but kind of feel upset about it, even though it isnt my issue. I dont know if I should tell her, or just pretend I never saw it. I feel like she has a right to know. She knows I went looking on the site to see if my friends pictures were posted (turns out they were) and that didnt bother her. | nude picture of my GF online. Dont know if I should tell her |
t3_3wcur6 | tifu | TIFU by thinking it was a good idea to try to "fix" a damaged elevator | TIFU.
Yesterday, I was bothered by a persistent, glitch-y beeping noise in an elevator. I was convinced that giving the speaker a "love tap" would free up a shorted wire, or whatever was causing the noise. Kind of like what you do when the TV channels aren't coming in past the static back in the day in my mind. I may have got a little carried away with the taps when the noise didn't go away, or change in any way. However nothing changed that indicated more or less problems with the equipment while I was using the elevator, or later that night when I used it again, so I forgot about it, and assumed nothing was wrong.
Today I got a phone call from the cops. When the elevator stopped working entirely later that night, the staff checked the newly installed security cameras, caught me, and called the cops. The police said I was responsible for breaking the elevator, and was lucky the owner wasn't pressing charges provided that I pay whatever it costs to fix it, which from what they told me, could be $2000+. | I was blamed for breaking a broken elevator by way of a damning security camera clip. |
t3_31abwe | relationships | Me [25f] with my co-worker[26m] , having a crush again on him | I've worked with this colleague for some years now. I've had a crush on him. And I guess the feelings are still lingering? But not as immense as before. I know the bigger picture I'm being an idiot.
I've told him I am interested a year ago, we went out on a date and when I asked him what his final verdict was few weeks after the date; he stated we remain friends. Which we did. Intially, I remained distant to get over him. Afterwards, we went on a vacation together (as friends) with another colleague as well.
Nowadays, few people have mentioned that when we speak to each other,we have such good chem. I get this weird vibe off him (in a good way?) but a friend of me as mentioned in the past (from a yr ago)that he is flirty by nature. But now he always tries to make conversation. Never suggests any hangouts though. He did suggest we go on vacation again. I'm sure if he was interested, something would have been mentioned. I feel stupid to have these feelings come up, when it's already been dealt with. I should know better.
Anyway I guess I am posting this to get a good reality check of the matter from you guys. | had a crush on this coworker before. having feelings for him once again. |
t3_3j3gk3 | relationships | Me (F 25) with my ex - ended after 1.5 years, just tell me it's going to be ok | The story between my ex and I has been crazy. We fought, broke up multiple times, walked away and came back to each other, and finally ended it last night.
All the stories and advice on Reddit is not to go back. That something as broken as what we had can't be fixed. I had to see it through though, to try everything I could to fix it.
It didn't work It's over and I accept that. I accept that the person who I wanted to spend forever with gave up on us because he didn't see a future where we would work out. | Just tell me it'll be ok please? |
t3_2uojnf | relationships | Me [28/F] with my long history of FWBs and dysfunctional relationships is seriously considering giving up relationships all together. Has anyone ever just taken a break? | I'm 28. I've had long relationships, failed engagements, and a lot of FWB type relationships. For a very long time I wasn't interested in a serious relationship. During college and when I first started in my career it wasn't something that I felt like I needed. I did have FWB relationships sometimes juggling several different people.
About a year and half ago, I rekindled an old relationship with a guy I had been madly in love with and after about 6 months he cut off all communication with me and I found out that he was back with his daughter's mother when she sent me a Facebook message asking me if we had indeed had a relationship because that was what was listed on Facebook.
After that I went back to FWB relationships I had before but I miss what I had when I was in a relationship. I tried to seek out partners who I would be compatible with but its all been a bust so far. Either the guys just want sex, which is fine but not what I'm looking for anymore or we just don't click on a deeper level.
I think the best thing for me would be to not have any relationships at all. I'm addicted to the instant gratification of a FWB. I know that if I'm not careful I will have a few drinks and be back on Tinder looking for my next hook up or going through my phone for one of my stand by guys.
My question is has anyone else had this issue? What did you do to ween yourself off these type of relationships and just focus on yourself? Is it possible that I could find "the one" if I'm not looking? | Tired of hookups. How do you become celibate and stay that way for an extended period of time? |
t3_tckvq | relationships | Need Help with Overdependency on Boyfriend | I've been experiencing a lot of depression lately because I've become too dependent on my boyfriend...to the point where I don't feel like myself anymore because I don't enjoy and/or can't bring myself to partake in the hobbies I used to enjoy. For reference, I am female, we are both in our early twenties and have been together about four years (living together for two).
Part of my problem is my introversion. I have a few friends that I could call to hang out with, but I don't really want to. The past few times I have been out with them, I've felt uncomfortable, bored, and anxious. I'm not eager to repeat those experiences, and there has been no one I've met recently that I would be interested in befriending.
I used to enjoy plenty of alone-time hobbies, so my introversion was never much of a problem in the past. I'd read, shop, or paint, write, etc...but I seldom do any of those things any more. I find it especially hard to do the creative things I used to enjoy because I feel as though I need an excessive amount of alone time to do them (which isn't available since we live together).
I don't know what to do anymore. Our relationship is good and we are both happy in it, but I am going crazy because I feel like I don't enjoy anything without my boyfriend anymore. Even when I get alone time to spend time on the hobbies I would have before we were together, I don't enjoy it because I can't stop thinking about him, and how much more fun I'd be having if he were there (even if that is not really the case...I seriously miss writing, drawing, and crafting misc. items). I've talked to him about it, and he says it's not a healthy way to feel. I agree, but neither of us know what to do about it.
Does anybody have suggestions, or advice? The best things I have come up with so far are possibly forcing myself to do those activities (I've tried, with not much luck...) or joining a club of some sort (the thought of which makes me cringe, I don't know if that would be successful at all). | Depression caused by or causing overdependency on boyfriend. I don't enjoy doing any of the things I used to do on my own, and I don't feel like myself. Help please! |
t3_470nf2 | relationships | I (28f) caught my husband (29m) of 5 years masturbating in the same room as our infant daughter. I left him and took the baby but my friends and family are telling me I'm being irrational. | mid last week I came through the door after getting off work to find my husband in our living room masturbating to porn on his iPad while my daughter was asleep in her swing. I was revolted that he would disrespect me, the sanctity of our marriage and expose his innocent daughter to something so vile.
I told him to get out and that I would be calling the police that he is a child molester if he didn't leave. He left with huge tears in his eyes and i packed up stuff I would need and left for my parents house. He has tried to call a couple times and my dad has called him to tell him we are safe. Initially my parents were super supportive of me but as I've gotten over my shock (I cried for almost two days straight) and was able to tell them what actually happened they both told me very directly that I am being incredibly irrational and that they know my husband since he was a teenager (my dad was his HS wrestling coach) and that he may have made a bad decision but he's not a child molester nor was he cheating on me.
This pissed me off so I went out for drinks with two of my best friends and they basically said the same thing.
I just don't think I'm wrong on this. I mean the fact that he was looking at other women means he is willing to violate the sanctity of our marriage and what's so disgusting is that he was doing it in front of our beautiful, innocent baby girl.
I have a meeting with a divorce attorney in a couple hours but my mom and dad is desperately telling me to reconsider but after seeing what I saw...I just can't. My parents are telling me that as much as they love my daughter, if I go through with this I will not be able to live at their house and if asked to testify about my husband's character they will say he's a great guy and always have been.
I feel like no one is supporting me and I feel even more alone. | I caught my husband masturbating in front of our infant daughter and my family and friends aren't supporting me in leaving him. |
t3_jtk5a | AskReddit | What's the best facewash and anti-aging moisturizer combo for a guy in his mid 20s with occasional blemishes, sensitive skin, and a concern about wrinkles | Hey all,
I just moved back to the States and need some product recommendations. I need to know what you guys recommend for a good acne-fighting facewash that won't dry out my sensitive skin, as well as a moisturizer that's age-fighting.
I shave with a wet electric razor and use Bump Patrol sensitive skin shave gel, as it seems to work best for me, although I'm still prone to razor burn, especially on my neck, which often leads to breakouts. I've tried benzoyl peroxide-based facewashes in several concentrations, as well as 2-4% salicylic acid-based cleansers, and with both it's a constant battle between breakouts or dried out skin, which not only looks like shit, but I swear is making me look more aged by increasing the visibility of fine lines.
I need a good wash that fights breakouts but doesn't try my skin out and doesn't irritate sensitive skin, and maybe even helps with razor burn if I use after a shave. Also, I need a moisturizer that reduces fine lines and protects against sun damage.
I've used "L'Oreal Paris Men's Expert Vita Lift Anti-Wrinkle and Firming Moisturizer" and like it quite a bit, although it's a bit greasy. I'm considering "Neutrogena Men Age Fighter Face Moisturizer" although it's considerably more expensive and I'm not sure which is better. Any other suggestions would be great. | [see title] |
t3_2yqs0x | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [25M] talking about where our 9 year relationship is going later tonight - any advice? | Using a throwaway. My SO and I have been together 9 years with a 6-month break-up 5 years ago. We've been in couple's counseling the past 6 months to work on our communication skills and see if we're ready to take the next step forward in our relationship. The elephant in the room is do we make each other happy enough to be together as a married couple?
We had our therapy session last week and my SO's answer was no - not only was he not ready, but he doesn't really know himself or know if I'm the right person for him (sounding a bit harsh but I'm summarizing 75 minutes into one sentence). He thought we were using couple's therapy to figure that out. I was shocked because my impression was that we had decided a few months ago that we were already moving towards that, and at this point we were working through some other issues to prep ourselves for spending our lives together. I know that my boyfriend was working through some issues - depression among them - but didn't know that included questioning me as a partner or our relationship.
This is not the first time we've had completely different views about our relationship and each other. The session upset me so much that I've been distant and moody since. I've asked for my space and he's respected that, and we've had a few discussions over the past couple of days about whether we should break-up or not, but neither of us can decide either way. I'm torn between ending it for good or trying to work this out, but I'm so emotional I don't know what a "middle ground" could look like between those two. What are good questions for us to talk through tonight that will help us see if we should try and work this out or move on? | 9 year relationship and he doesn't know if I'm the right person for him to marry. We're talking later tonight - what questions can I ask to see whether this relationship is worth working on or not? Any advice welcome. |
t3_116rhg | relationships | A woman[33] I care about deeply has expressed romantic interest in me[m35], but I believe her feelings stem from depression. | I have a good friend I have known for 10 years. We dated briefly during the first year me knew each other, but it was clear that while we cared about one another a great deal, most of the romantic love was coming from my side. Rather, than damage our friendship, we mutually agreed to call that experiment off. We have remained very close, though she has always been aware that my romantic feelings for her persist.
For the past several years, we have each been in long-term relationships. Mine ended this past January after 3 years, while hers ended rather badly in May after about 2. Since then, she has been depressed, feeling unloved and unwanted. I have made an effort to show her that is not the case, as any friend would.
Last month she told me that she had realized that she wanted to be with me, and that if I was interested she is available. I told her that I believe her feelings are coming from the fact that she is on the rebound, for lack of a better term. She insists this is not the case, and that she is willing to continue our friendship as is for now, and that she will "wait for me" to see she is serious. I am sure that she believes this to be true, but I do not want to endanger our friendship, and I do not want to take advantage of her when she is in an emotionally vulnerable state. At the same time, I care very deeply for her and have for years. To complicate matters further, we no longer live in the same city. If we were to make an attempt at a relationship, I would need to move (her job is frankly better than mine, and is location specific), though I would be moving to a city I prefer over the one in which I currently live.
So, I guess my questions are:
1. At what point do I take her at her word that her feelings are legitimate and not simply based on a subconscious desire to feel wanted?
2. What are the odds of our friendship remaining intact should we go through another failed romance? | A very good friend wants to start a romantic relationship, but I believe she is simply on the rebound. |
t3_1z9pm4 | relationships | Me [16 M] Am I dating my best friend? [16F] Don't know what's going on! | So me and my best used to be friends since 8th grade, and now recently we have all our classes together at school. We have been really close this year, the closest I've been with anyone all year. She would sometimes tell me "I love you" and I would say it back because I didn't know how to respond. I didn't know the way she meant it towards me.
Last week we hung out on a Saturday and we were just driving around. We didn't know what to do, so we stopped and talk and soon after we were making out like no other. We were just saying "I love you" and making out since like 2 until 10. All we kept saying was I love you while going at it.
I know she hangs out with another guy every week as well and they make out sometimes, so I was upset while doing it but I liked it too much. Than she told me she needed to explain something and she told me that she doesn't want me to feel different around her. She said she doesn't date anyone, like dating just one person. I told her if she truly loved me she would stop hanging out with that guy and she said maybe.
She did tell me that everytime we hangout we will be doing stuff like that, so that comforted me a little. That doesn't mean that she won't stop hanging out with the other anymore. She will, and that's what hurts me. She told me that it's because she loves me so much that she doesn't want to date me, just me, because she doesn't ever see herself not being my friend.
Now I don't know what to do - she won't stop hanging with the other guy, but she says she loves me the most out of anyone and that we will keep doing this every time we do hangout. She says she doesn't want to date people in highschool, too. We told each other that this wouldn't change how we were with each other. | Been friends for 4 years, got real close this year, made out with her, I know she hangs out with another guy and makes out, told me that doesn't matter, she loves only me, and that we will always make out when we hang out. What do I do? |
t3_tk866 | BreakUps | GF just broke up with me over the kid issue 10 years down the line | 25 year old male. 22 year old ex gf.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday after she got home from work.
Rewind to the beginning of the relationship I found out she didn't want kids and I wanted kids which was a deal breaker for us both. We both had so much in common and were perfect together besides this fact we moved in together.
A couple of months we were both very happy when I had a job. Lost my job and put pressure on our relationship. Wasn't adamant at first about finding a new job because I lost a lot of confidence and was really stressed out that I lost my job. This caused her to be more touchy and we started to argue more. Nothing serious though. Got to a point where she was like what's the point of trying to fix things when it is doomed to fail anyway. I understand where she was coming from because I thought the same things from time to time but loved her so much it override this. Now I'm typing here single and thinking how it sucks how you can find the right person but one thing can easily keep you from ever being together. She still loves me a lot and doesn't want to break up but has to because it doesn't feel right.
Just wanted some opinions on this besides the obvious "we don't want the same things in the long run so break up." But more along the lines of anyone run into a similar situation? Is it so wrong for me to want to be with her? How should I act towards her now as we have a months rent left and will see each other often? Obviously we are both mature and wont do anything dumb while living together but should I be distant to her? Try to show her why she loved me in the first place? Or just be supportive in our breakup. | Gf who I live with broke up with me because I want kids in the future and she doesn't |
t3_2x0ixa | relationships | Me [20 f with 20 casual dating of 1 month, confused on intentions? | So I met this guy in one of my classes and he insisted on talking to me since day one. After about a week I gave him my number and we immediately started spending almost everday together.
We hang out all day together when were both not working, go to the gym, go on dates, ive even had dinner with his family already.
personally I felt it was moving really fast but I know he has a very open and expressive personality so maybe this is just nomal for him and not for me because im not outgoing at all.
on one of our dates we were talking about relationships and he said he dates a lot but he doesn't make it official unless hes really serious and he said that hes really picky. And he kind of was being a jerk and bragged about all the girls he's been with. then I said something a long the lines of "oh so you don't really like to be in realtionships" and he said something along "no not really, im not talking about us tho, or I am , or im not" and he was really getting nervous so I changed the topic.
and I know he likes me enough obviously because we spend so much time together and he always pays and compliments me and introduced me to his whole family.
im still confused whether he feels like we could be in a relationship. given his player background im not sure if that's how he treats everybody.
I would also like to add that he still hangs out with other girls but he always tells me and tells me their just his friends and his parents met all of them too so idk how to think about this.
I would like to know if I should wait longer and see since I do actually like him. if I should go ahead and ask him what we are or realizes that its how he treats everyone. | dating a guy that's very open and maybe a player and don't know if he is taking me seriously |
t3_g4oyc | relationships | AMA attractive guy who needs help with girls. | Hello Reddit, so i am considered an attractive guy (i know it from the way girls look at me and act when i'm around...) but this doesn't change the fact that i'm not so good with girls. I haven't had a girlfriend in 3 years (i am 20 now) although i could have many if i knew how to handle it better (many girls from my class had a crush on me, you can be sure about it, i'm not bullshiting you).
Anyway the reason i'm writing now is that there's this girl that i like so much and i'm pretty sure the attraction is mutual (her body language tells it all: she makes long eye contacts when i see her on campus, she arranges her hair when i'm around, and passes by me like 2 or three times to get my attention). When is such situations, i usually act indifferent or "unaware" that she's interested, but last week i made a good eye contact, i smiled a bit and then turned my face to a friend i was talking to, so i think that she got the message of "i like you". So Reddit, what do you think is the next step now? How can i approach her and talk to her, reminding you that we're both interested in each other? | I am a 20 y old attractive boy (but not very good with girls) wanting to approach a girl in my university that is interested in me, How can i approach her? Possible drawbacks: we have no friends in common, and i know that I am the one that should do the first step, so i'm afraid that i'll lose her if i do nothing. So please help! Thanks in advance |
t3_24wdzm | relationships | Me [20 M] with my Partner [20 F] of over two years and live together, is no longer sexually attracted to me | Hello. Last night was a pretty heavy night for my partner and I. We have been through a lot but last night was slightly different. She opened up to me and told me that she isn't sexually attracted to me because I act like a child so many times. That I always ask her how she is feeling even through making love.
I admit that I have made most of the mistakes in the relationship but I feel I have come so far since the day she met. I am not sure if she has this idea of what a perfect man is and if I am far off that or even capable of being that person she needs.
She says that she thinks about what a life with some one else would be like because it would be fresh without 2 years of problems and issues on our shoulders.
I have developed a mentality that a man is always wrong when it comes to a women, and it has gotten me through most of our problems and honestly it has made me stronger when being responsible. I struggle to tell her that she is wrong.
Is she fantasizing about a life that doesn't exist?
What kind of man do girls want? (e.g George Clooney picking her up and doing her against the wall)
I want to be romantic and strong and know exactly how she feels and what she wants, and I would love any thoughts or advice. Thank you | My Girlfriend thinks I act like a child too much and says she is no longer sexually attracted to me because she feels like a mother |
t3_2h8g2t | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [28 M] haven't said "I love you" yet | A few months before we met I just got out of a five year toxic relationship so naturally I had some commitment/intimacy issues and wasn't really in a rush. We've been dating exclusively for six months, things have been absolutely wonderful, but we haven't said "I love you." Is that weird? How long until people usually say I love you? It was honestly not an issue until a couple people mentioned something to me about it.
I don't know if I'm supposed to be concerned but hearing from other people that this behavior is considered "strange" kind of caused me to get a little paranoid. I find myself wondering if he's as into me as I'm into him or if he takes this relationship seriously. Also I've got this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that he's hiding something because sometimes he seems so skittish around his phone. I will NEVER be one of those girlfriends thats snooping through his stuff. I've recently tried to be more affectionate because I thought maybe that might push things in the right direction but his level of affection hasn't really budged. I don't know what to do.
I want to clarify that I'm not trying to force him to say "I love you" but rather figure out if he's serious about me because I really don't want to waste my time. I'm not looking for another boyfriend, but a serious partner. I realize that I am more insecure than most and have trust issues. I just care very deeply about him and I'm so scared that I'll get strung along and get emotionally invested in someone who doesn't feel the same. | Boyfriend doesn't tell me if he loves me, not sure if he's serious about our relationship. Are my friends and peers making me paranoid for nothing? |
t3_3pfb83 | offmychest | I can't stop thinking of this girl, I don't know what to do. | I really don't know what to do about it. There's this girl, lets call her K, that I'm like kind of obsessed with. She just makes me happy to be around and even though I'm young (14) I really want to date her. She is amazing, she's smart and pretty and I always fell so happy to be around her. I have two classes with her and I think about those classes all day. We text all the time, but when I told I was crushing hard she just kinda blew it off. She said that she loves talking to me but she just got out of a relationship (3 weeks ago) and doesn't know if she likes anyone. We've texted all day and night and all its done is make me like her more. Things were only awkward for about a day after telling her but I'm worried what she thinks. What should I do? P.S. how do I text her often without seeming like I'm obsessed (which I kind of am)? | possible unrequited love (well maybe not love but) |
t3_3ra1xm | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend [18F] kissed another girl and they want a threesome | Hey all
My girlfriend (we'll call her J) has a close friend (we'll call her C) of hers who I am also friends with.
Her friend (C) expressed interest in me, and asked my girlfriend if she would be cool with a threesome.
(J) asked me if I wanted to and I said no. I'm not really into the idea of having sex with people outside the relationship. (C) was sad but understood.
They hung out alone later that night and kissed each other after getting drunk.
Fast forward two weeks to today and I could tell (J) was hiding something because she was acting incredibly defensive. After probing her for some time she 'confessed' that (C) had asked to kiss her while they were cuddling but she said "no."
I said that I didn't believe that was why she was acting really defensive and after a few more minutes of probing and laughing at how ridiculous it was for her to pretend that was a big deal she 'confessed' that they had kissed each other on the cheek goodnight.
I said that wasn't bad and I still didn't buy it. And finally she (probably) spilled the beans and said that they had kissed.
She was very apologetic. This isn't the first girl she has kissed while we've been together (the other was her best friend).
She then said that she really wanted to have a threesome with me because "it would make you happy" and I feel like she has ulterior motives. I told her it made me uncomfortable but she kept pushing it so I agreed and now I feel like I was used as a means to an end. Originally I thought (C) wanted me but now I think she might want (J)?
Granted, (C) is going through a really rough time and really could use affection. | Girlfriend kissed old friend of hers, they want a threesome. Both are attractive nothing wrong there. Feels like I'm being used. |
t3_2yc5l6 | relationships | I [28 M] am having trouble feeling secure about my girlfriend's [27f] ex | I just started seriously seeing somebody who has an ex with whom she was with for five years. They eventually broke up because he felt quite sure that he never wanted to get married and neither of them wanted to put the other through that as she does eventually want to get married. She has a friendship with him (that I can see is an actual friendship and not something more) and they text each other every once in a while or talk on the phone. My question is how am I supposed to not be scared of the idea that her ex could change his mind about getting married? We do love each other, but are still getting to know each other in some ways whereas they have 5 years of history. I'm going to ask her this directly when she comes back from vacation in a week, but am wondering how people learn to deal with this. She does a good job of protecting my feelings, but I can't imagine there wouldn't be a part of her that would be conflicted if her ex changed his views on marriage. | Gf and her ex broke up because of conflicting ideas on marriage. Scared he could change his mind. |
t3_3q3c1g | Advice | Ex gf/friend is in need of a lot help. | So my ex gf who is still a good friend has a lot if serious mental health issues, I can't stand her being this way I still care because I'm a person. What I want to know is if I call the police to pick her up and evaluate her (as she has already had this done to her by a mutual friend) disrupt her life? She is in training for a new job which she is perfect for and would be a huge boost for her. I don't want to screw her over but I see almost nothing good if she doesn't. | friend in serious need of mental help, how? |
t3_vajzm | relationships | How do you help someone who can't manage their money or life? | I'm a 20 year old female with a 25 year old brother. There is so much to this story, but if you need more details, just ask.
My brothers (I have a 29 year old brother) and I have been given an excellent life. My parents have their missteps of course, but overall they are amazingly supportive and have provided us with everything. My oldest brother is extremely successful, and I am very happy, doing great in school and holding a serving job.
My brother took six years to get through college but finally got an accounting degree. He got a job and things seemed fine. Then his on-again off-again girlfriend of five years dumped him for good in October and he sank into a very deep depression which affected his work and he was laid off in March. He moved back home and has been living off unemployment. He now has a serving job, was recently talking about an accounting job offer, and his exgirlfriend and him are working on their relationship. Things seemed to be looking up.
But somehow, my accountant brother cannot handle his own goddamn money. Bill collectors have been calling since I came home from school in May. Mind you, all he has to pay for is his car payment, car insurance, and credit card. He does not give my parents anything for food or rent. He should be making more than enough to cover these bills. Today, the bank repossessed his car. My mom is freaking out because my dad is going to be livid when he comes home and finds out.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help. He has made this year so fucking hard on my family and he doesn't even seem to care. He doesn't see how his irresponsibility is affecting my family. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do I help him? | My brother can't manage his money and the bank repossessed his car. My parents are about at their breaking point with his irresponsibility and the drama he brings to this family. How can I help him fix his life? |
t3_3mjoxw | relationships | I [19 M] feel like I am not adequate in bed because my SO [18 F] doesn't feel like having sex with me. | We're in a long distance relationship and my SO and I havent seen each other in a month. Druing the first she was all on me and really wanted to have sex with me, but now she doesn't, she just ignores and it feels that she doesn't want to because I think I am bad at it. I didn't bring her to orgasm the first night, but I really wanted to tonight, but she wasn't into having sex or anything. I wanted to get in the mood the second night, but all she did all night was a play a game. I feel so fucking bad, because I think she really doesn't want to have sex with me. She keeps hinting all through the day that she does and kept reminding me to bring condoms, but she didn't want to tonight. All these empty promises and it makes me feel so fucking bad. What should I do? | I think I am bad at sex because SO just ignores me when I get in the mood and just played a game on her phone the whole night. |
t3_qfoz6 | dating_advice | [21 M] I want to start dating again, but I'm stuck. | Hey guys,
So this is my first time posting here and I'm hoping for some advice. I fell for this one girl about two years ago. I want to move on, I am tired of being stuck fawning over her. I want to get out there and date new people.
To make matters worse, she is one of my 2 suite mates (I'm a junior in college). I know I have this problem where I have put her on a pedestal and I'm making things worse.
The biggest problem though is I have little to no self worth. I don't feel like girls are attracted to me. I'm about 5'6''-5'7'' and so it doesn't help that I'm short. I'm terrible at small talk, where the conversations usually go:
"Hey, my name is TryingToForget, whats your name?"
"Hi, I'm X it's nice to meet you."
Then I do the normal things, like ask what major they are or where they're from, but after those questions are answered I just blank. I have nothing else.
I know that under all this timidness and lack of self worth there is a very attractive/interesting person but I can't get him to come out when I need him to.
The only time I ever truly feel like I'm the fucking man is when I'm talking to the one girl that it will never matter.
So, I turn to you Reddit. Help me make myself awesome. Help me move on from this girl and kick ass at dating and life. | I want to make a change in my life to start fixing things but I have little to no self worth and I fell for my one of my best friend and roommate of 2 years. |
t3_2atgsw | relationship_advice | I know this girl likes me | Right, I'm going to cut a long story short her. Me and my housemate have always ended up sleeping together. Always had a bit of a thing going on but there were always distractions in the background to stop anything serious happening.
Anyway she goes on a date with some guy over the weekend. She is going on another one soon. This is after she tells me that she just wants to tell him that she wants a friend and she likes being single...This made me feel like her backup.
Anyway I am sick of all this. I am sure she likes me. Friends ask why we aren't together, random people always ask and she has said "I love you" during sex before, lots of times.
I just think it has got too easy for her to have sex with me and where is the fun in that.
I want to make something happen, just a chance to see where things could go without any distractions in our lives. I'm done with the broken record that I like her etc etc...she knows that. The best I can think of at this point is to tell her that it is obvious there is something between us. Why can't we just have a go at it and see what happens?
I feel that this isn't the best way...any advice on the situation in general would be more than helpful. | What do I do about this girl who I know likes me? |
t3_hqtjd | AskReddit | Death and Tattoos | I'll condense this as much as possible.
My brother is stationed in Afghanistan, and recently killed a man from about 8 feet away. He's looking to commemorate his kill with a tattoo, and I need some creative ideas to send him.
The details: While doing a structure search, he heard a noise from a back room and went to check it out (alone, and has already been chastised for it). An Afghani man burst out of a closet when my brother entered the room and had a pistol in his hand. My brother, surprised as shit, pulled the trigger before aiming and shot the guy in the knee and then the chest. | creative tattoo ideas and pics incorporating death, shots to the knee and chest, but in a clever, subtle way. |
t3_rbhhd | loseit | Fat loss and working out week 1. | Hello everyone that might be reading this,
I'm a 20 year old that has been overweight/fat for a long period of my life. I peaked at 210 lbs or 92 kg when I was about 16, from that point on I decided to lose the weight no matter what. I ate a lot less, exercised sometimes and dropped down to my lowest point ever of 145lbs/64kg. I'm 6'1/183cm.
Seeing as my body got what a lot of people refer to as skinny-fat, I am now deciding to work on my body with something I have never done before, lifting weights.
At the moment I am 71kg/156lbs. (I tried to put on some muscle but my diet was still crappy, this is my own fault, I know what my diet should consist of.)
But after deciding what I was going to do, I have no idea how to tackle an obstacle that I have been facing almost my entire life.
I hate being fat/seeing fat flab around on my body. For once I'd like to have a flat stomach and see what it's like just feeling good about my body.
Would it be a good idea to lower my body fat percentage to a good amount before I start my weight lifting routine? (Starting Strength.)
Cause at the moment I'm afraid my fat percentage would increase to a point where I'd look fat eventhough I'd be gaining muscle.
Regardless of which option I will take (losing fat before starting my routine or just starting my routine and losing fat later.) I will be posting a bi-weekly update to keep myself motivated, and to inform others on what would be the good way to tackle this. | Lost 40lbs before, still skinnyfat. Go from skinnyfat to skinny and then to fit, or from skinnyfat to fit-ish and then dieting down to fit. |
t3_1be754 | relationship_advice | Advice for a 21yr male entering new relationship after serious depression? | The girl is someone i've known since high school. I tried to make something work back then but she had a boyfriend and overall things just didn't work out. About a month ago she breaks a 1.5 year silence with me and we have talked pretty consistently do this day. We went on a dinner date last week and as of this weekend, we've had sex. I really feel this girl may be a good thing for me but as someone who only about 3 months ago 'recovered' from a depression that lasted roughly 5 years, I can't help but be apprehensive about the whole situation. I still suffer from a general anxiety and social anxiety, but things are improving.
I am keeping an open mind about this so any advice would be appreciated | I have been depressed a long time and after getting myself relatively well I am concerned about entering a serious relationship |
t3_1wv9we | relationships | My (25f) boyfriend and I (25m) have trouble sleeping together - He snores and fidgets and I wake at the drop of a pin. Any help or suggestions? | We've been dating for 2.5 years.
There's been some strain on our relationship because it is so difficult for us (mainly me) to sleep in the same bed. He has relatively recently started snoring loudly and consistently at night. It has been a combination of drinking (even just a beer or glass of whiskey each night) and weight gain (we think?). Also, he fidgets a ton and his moving and rolling around shakes me awake. It ends up with me either getting very little, shitty sleep where I have to nudge him to stop snoring all throughout the night, or me moving to another bed or couch.
We do not live together and fortunately he has two beds and two rooms at his house, so I just sleep upstairs. When he sleeps at my place (no extra bed or room) I'm almost guaranteed to not get sleep.
For me, sleeping separately benefits me far greater than sharing a bed. Getting no sleep and being exhausted for the entire day is horrible. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is taking this situation personally, and thinks that it's destroying our intimacy and romance, and questions whether I love him anymore, complains about me sleeping in another bed, etc. It's sort of this "how could you do this to me?" attitude.
Anyway, I would really love any suggestions from people who have either recovered from snoring a lot, or who have improved with sleeping heavier and not waking up at any sound/movement.
Thanks a ton. | Boyfriend snores and fidgets while sleeping, so I hardly get sleep since I am a light sleeper. Need advice to save my relationship and sleep well |
t3_30vo7q | relationships | Me [27 M/F] with my ___ [22 M/F] 1.5 years, how to get past questioning the past | I typed this on my smartphone, so I apologize in advance. This won't be too long, but I had a girlfriend, who I fell in love with, and thought it was mutual. She was going through some tough times so I supported her financially, helped her get an excellent paying job, and just was a great boyfriend overall.
Then she ditched me on New Years and tested positive for chlamydia a month later. At first I took responsibility and she threatened to leave but stayed. I later found out when we broke up that she told her mom, who told my dad, which created some drama. Anyways, I tested negative and she cried.
Being in love and experiencing great sexual chemistry for the first time, I had just turned a blind eye to this and assumed it was from a previous relationship. But I asked no questions like an idiot and continued the relationship because there was no way THIS girl would cheat on me. I suspect it was her ex boyfriend because she kept bringing him up after it. Wow looking back I feel like a complete idiot. But at the times it was like wedding bells and fairy lights.
The more I type, the dumber I feel....anyways.
We stop having sex for 2 months and then our relationship becomes incredibly passionate and emotionally intense. We begin planning for marriage, we pick out our house, and everything.
My business becomes shaky, stress and paranoia causes sex to stop. Then she starts hanging out with some other guy and dumps me and begins dating him. I find out because she literally just posts his picture on her Instagram and Facebook and her mom comments like "He's cute ;)". I'm still pissed to this day about it.
I am now relieved the woman is out my life, there is no hoping she returns, but I get these questions like:
WTF Did I just experience? Was that love or something else? | Start relationship with woman, tests positive for chlamydia, becomes distant, leaves me for a guy at her church. |
t3_kquyi | AskReddit | How do we troll this guy? | Dear reddit, I feel I can call you reddit because I love you.
Day before yesterday we gave my sister a goodbye party and there were some drunk people but everyone that was there had been a family friend for years.
Meanwhile, in a bar nearby, two friends of a friend ask if they can come over and since I'm the social type I say "Yeah, ofcourse no prob", as long as they're polite to my family and tell my sister to have fun in Italy or something like that. So half an hour later the 2 guys are in my house and drink our beer and eat our food. I was using my phone to play music. When everyone went home I thought I lost my phone. What happened? Nigga stole my iPhone! While partying with my brother this bitch leaves after saying goodbye to everyone and being super friendly, with my phone in his fucking pockets!
We know: Where he lives, Where he works, the bar where he does promotional work.
LET US TROLL THIS FUCK | nigger stole my ~~bike~~ iPhone. |
t3_3g30w0 | tifu | TIFU by laughing at a girl I just met. | So this didn't happen today, it happen almost a year ago at the very start of the school year.
It was about a week into the school year, I was starting to get to know some new students. News traveled quick that I was tech savvy and people would have me play harmless pranks on other students via my computer (stuff like scree sharing to control another persons mouse, or controlling someone's computer using terminal.)
So one day this girl comes up to me and asks if I can delete a Facebook page. I start chuckling and ask "playing a prank on a friend"?
She replied, "it's my moms page"
So I said ,"oh...pranking your mom." And I laughed again.
She took her computer and ran out of the room crying. I was so confused at first before another girl (who had been listening in on the conversation) came up to me and said, "Her mom died last month, asshole." It turns out she wanted to delete/memorialize her moms Facebook page. I felt so bad. | laughed at girls dead mom accidentally. |
t3_202jfp | offmychest | I could just be depressed... but it really does seem true. | I have two friends who've I've always compared myself too. I grew up with them, I've known them both since I was 7-8 years old. We're all 23 now and we've all chosen a different path and are working to becoming the adult we want to be.
One of my friends (lets call her Jennifer) recently graduated from a prestigious university, is working for AmeriCorps, and is currently interviewing at several different medical schools. Jennifer has always been a overachiever and is the "most successful" of my friends.
My other friend (Sarah) never went to college, but she is gorgeous and has married her handsome high-school sweetheart. Her husband has a great paying job so she gets to spend her days working part time and pampering herself. Sarah and her husband will be having a baby soon and she has kept her slim figure.
Me on the other hand; I'm kind of chubby, didn't do well in high-school, went to a community college and will finally (after 4 years) be transferring to an average university. I definitely feel like the "loser of the group." I was sitting here thinking about how nice it must be to be them. Jennifer is so free, she does what she wants when she wants. She's intelligent, well educated, and loves experiencing her youth. Sarah lives the "trophy wife" type lifestyle, and everyone swoons to beck and call. She lives a life you can only describe as small town royalty.
I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to others since it will only end in dissapointment, but it's much easier said than done. I feel like I'm trying to tell myself that not everyone is going to have a great life, and I just need to accept my lot in life. This is not the kind of thing you want to tell your friends and family, so it's nice I can get it off my chest here. Thank you everyone who took the time to read this. | My friends lives are far better than mine, and I'm having a hard time accepting it. |
t3_itn9e | AskReddit | My cat wont shut up! | Okay so in the past three weeks my SO and i have moved across the country woth the cat in my car... With us in hotel rooms every night, then for a week in a friends studio that we stayed in briefly, and THEN with a friend of hours for two weeks while we were away on business. Now we have just moved into an apartment and have been here for a week, things are still kind of chaotic around the house but his bed, litterbox, and food are all laid out. Not a night has past where he hasnt kept us up all night by constant yowling. During the day he is peeing and pooping on the carpet... Ive had this cat for two years and he has NEVER even missed the litterbox! I took him to a vet and there is nothing physically wrong with him. So... Any advice on how to calm him down enough to keep him quiet??? | My cat is keeping me awake every night and need advice to keep him quiet. |
t3_u080q | AskReddit | My first year wedding anniversary is coming up and I don't have much money. Any creative ideas for a first-year anniversary gift (and a birthday gift too since it's coming up)? If it makes her cry, I'll take pictures of it and update. | We met over two years ago, got married last year, and this June 6th will mark our one year anniversary. She's 23 and I'm 31. I never proposed to her and we didn't have a wedding. As a matter of fact, almost none of our friends know we're married. She's wearing an engagement ring that her mom loaned her and we registered at the count clerk's office. I promised her that one day I'll give her a real wedding and I'm still saving up for it, but between my low-paying job and my massive student debt (protip: don't major in English lit) I've been able to save only close to 1K. I would like to use some of this money to make her cry in a good way.
We agreed (due to our lack of funds) that we would celebrate only a few holidays per year. Birthdays & Christmas will involve gifts. Valentine's day and our bf/gf anniversary will have a special dinner but no gifts. And our wedding anniversary will be presents based on the yearly [gift calendar] The year is paper.
With this in mind, what can I do that'll be both creative (I won't take credit for reddit's creativity, I promise) and romantic? I was thinking a blank notebook and write something romantic or sweet everyday for a year (or forever?). And for her birthday, I.... have no idea lol. | 1st anniversary and birthday coming up. I'm poor. Need gift ideas to make wife cry (in a good way) |
t3_gewp5 | AskReddit | iPod backup corrupted and I need help extracting certain items. | My moms got a new iPhone and when we tried to restore her old settings to her new iPhone it no longer works. What happens is it goes to the black apple screen for about 5 seconds and then flips to the "slide to unlock screen" and then back every 5-10 seconds. She only had the one backup which I made her create before we got the new iPhone.
I have managed to get her pictures off her phone during while the phone is flipping back and forward but I cannot get her contact list or her notes and calender. | What I am looking for is a way to extract her contacts, calender and notes from the backup file on my computer and into a format where I can put it on to her new iPhone. |
t3_1k2gsn | personalfinance | My income is cash-only and I'm not sure how to do my taxes. (CA) | I've recently started working in a semi-shady industry that pays extremely well and I need to figure out how to do my taxes as a self-employed person in that line of work. I made roughly $22,000 net last year working as a waitress, and it was easy to file my taxes because I just had to deal with a T4 from one employer, plus an estimate of my tips. Just off the top of my head I think I've made about $70,000 so far this year and I don't know how to plan for my 2013 taxes, but I know that I should figure something out sooner rather than later.
In my area my work is technically legal, and I am licensed by the municipality where I live to do the work I do, so I think that if I didn't file a tax return or if I claimed no income I would be audited since the CRA probably has my license information on file - is that right? If things continue as they have been for this whole year, I expect to gross at least $120,000. Should I claim that entire amount? Or nothing? Or some middle ground?
I'm saving 85-95% of my income in a shoebox, so I don't have any extravagant purchases to explain away, nor do I have any bank deposits amounting to over approximately $2,500/month. However, at some point I would like to actually be able to spend the money that I'm saving once I'm finished school and I'm working in the "real world" like a regular person. | help a hooker do her taxes please. |
t3_4nxr3t | legaladvice | HOA initially approved installation of new mandated garage door but after it is installed, claims it is the wrong model and needs replacement again | **Links updated to show correct/updated information**
*(Posting on behalf of a friend of mine who owns a condo; screenshots of docs in blue links)*
Location: California, U.S.
My friend was informed by his HOA that his garage door needed to be replaced to match the community. He proceeded to contact a local installer and was given a custom quote. According to the [HOA specs] they wanted a 100% vinyl door or equivalent door model. My friend happened to choose a steel door with vinyl backing that looks aesthetically exactly the same, from the same manufacturer. He [emailed] over the [specs/model number] along with a prefilled approval form to the HOA and got back an [email saying OK] along with the [signed approval form] back from them to proceed with the replacement, note that on here it only says "Garage Door".
After the installation, HOA came out to inspect the door and states that this was not what they wanted and renegades on their approval, saying that they would never approve that steel door. [They are asking for it to be removed and installed with the correct door.] My friend would be out another couple thousand dollars.
Does my friend have any legal grounds here on refusing to change the door a second time? He explicitly emailed over the door model and it was approved by the dept. head of the HOA. He has a chain of emails as proof his door model was approved. | HOA wants vinyl garage door (8700), friend sends over a steel & vinyl door (8024) for approval and got it, proceeds with replacement, HOA then inspects and says it's the wrong door and to replace again. |
t3_f2gr3 | AskReddit | 24 year-old finishing master's in history, wondering if I should keep at it or switch while I still can. | I haven't felt all that challenged with history to be honest, even though I wanted to be a historian ever since I was little (yes, I was that lame as a kid). I'm wondering if I should:
1) Try to go for the ph.d. Maybe dreams do come true.
2) Take a year of pedagogy (very typical in Norwegian universities) and become a teacher.
3) Start again in a completely different field. I'm open to pretty much anything that will eventually land me a job. I've got a pretty good head on my shoulders so I'm thinking something math/physics since I really enjoyed that in school. I just never really considered it as a career choice since I was so set on my history dream. Now I'm thinking history will always be hobby, not a job.
I'm very lucky that I live in Norway and I'm still eligible for two/three years more of financing, so the real world can be kept at bay a little longer.
I guess in reality I'm just a pathetic perpetual student who's not ready for the real world. Add a massive dose of indecision and it feels like my whole life is just freeze-framed. | Vote on my future: more history, get a teaching job or suggest something completely different. |
t3_2h0pxc | relationships | FWB [30F] of 2months wants me [28 M] to cut ties with friend I slept with [29F]. | Basically, the timeline was this. A friend of mine (A) since high school, who have slept together before, are in talks about arranging another meeting. Then, another friend (B) of mine comes to visit me, and we end up sleeping with eachother. When we do, we agree it's a FWB type situation. Then friend B leaves and friend A wants to sleep with me again, so we do.
Fast forward, and I'm back in the same city as B. We're spending a lot more time together, and having sex more. I haven't slept with anyone else since that one time. She asks if I've slept with anyone else since I've been with her, I tell her the truth, and she lets me know she doesn't want to sleep with me anymore because of it. We both spend some time fighting over lots of semi-related things. Then we get sick of fighting and decide we want to make up. We're back in eachother's good graces again, and she has a couple requests for me:
1. That I don't sleep with any other women while I'm with her.
2. That I cut the other girl out of my life completely, delete her phone number, and remove her from Facebook.
Number one seems like a more-or-less reasonable request, but number two strikes me as really over-reaching. I mean, girl A didn't even do anything to bring about this situation, and her and I have been friends since high school. We're not super close, and cutting her out of my life probably wouldn't greatly affect either of our lives, but it still seems like it's too much to ask someone to cut a friend out of their lives. Thoughts? | FWB wants me to cut a friend out of my life because I slept with her. Reasonable? |
t3_2m4yjz | offmychest | I want to scream. | Spent around 2 years together and we left with mutual intentions. We tried to get back together but then I found out you wanted to just play around. Now you ask me to come back when I'm happily in another relationship. Yes, I was pregnant with your child but I chose an abortion because neither of us could handle a child. I met with you that last time to say good bye and all you did was physically hold me down from . I feel like a terrible person because I had to lie just for you to allow me to leave. I just wanted us to be friends but now I can't be. | Spent two yrs together, happily moved on, ex tried to get me to come back went over to make amends was held down out of my will. Can't be friends |
t3_51a5iv | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [26 M] 1-year, having trouble with lack of affection [NSFW] | I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year. I really like our relationship - he's smart, funny, and we like doing lots of things together.
The problem for me is he's not touchy-feely - he has never said anything about being attracted to me, he rarely affectionately touches me outside of the context of sex, and he doesn't like kissing. I know he is attracted to me - he instigates sex and everything that is an "official" sex-act is good. He will also become affectionate when he gets drunk. But when we have sex, he always goes directly to touching my clit - no breathing on my neck, touching my butt/inner thigh, or telling me he's aroused by me.
I have been having trouble getting aroused because of this lack of verbal and physical affection - being told I'm sexy, verbally and physically, is really important to my arousal. I've tried indicating this to him by touching him a lot, but it doesn't help - he loves when I give him head and back massages, but there is zero reciprocation the other way, even when I ask and he agrees. I have also tried messaging him telling him I want to sleep with him, but I think they make him uncomfortable because he never responds to those messages, though often later at night he'll instigate sex.
Recently, I've had even more trouble getting aroused because of anxiety in other areas of my life, so it has been terrifying to talk to him about how unwanted I feel.
Do y'all have any advice on how to broach this subject or tips on how I can be more proactive about improving our sex life? Tips on how to make myself feel sexy would be welcome as well. | Boyfriend doesn't express romantic/sexual affection for me and I want suggestions on how to improve the situation |
t3_3h0zgq | tifu | TIFU By Getting My Dad High | This happened about a week back but I forgot to share it, so here goes.
I live in the UK with my parents, and weed is fun. I had a few grams of Incredible Bulk, 24% THC goodness which I grew with one of my friends at an undisclosed location. It's the Summer holidays, of course, so I have the house to myself. Smoking weed is alright but I just don't get a good high form it anymore, and I seem to become paranoid and unable to relax. I decided to make weed edibles instead because I can relax with those.
I used my own firecracker recipe where you basically cook weed in a bunch of butter and coconut oil, and it's one of the most potent edibles I've ever had. So my parents are out at work, and I start cooking my firecrackers. Only what I didn't know was that my dad got home from work early that day.
Firecrackers don't smell like weed when you cook them, so (panicking) I just told him that I was making s'mores. I live in the UK so I don't have a fucking clue what a s'more is, if I'm correct, it's some sort of marshmallow-infused snack. Naturally, my dad didn't know what a s'more was either, which explained why I was cooking an odd-looking cracker in the oven. Only what I wasn't expecting was that because he hadn't tried a s'more before, he... well, he wanted to. | TIFU by making weed brownies (sort of) and then my dad came home early and ate one. |
t3_1ew2hc | relationship_advice | (16/M) need some advice/help with (15/F) (not dating) | So I started talking to this girl during spring break. We talked and talked and talked until about may 1st ish.
(some information to know)We would sing to each other over video chat and would talk almost everyday on video chat as well. We haven't went out though.
We talked and talked and talked until about may 1st ish. Then we stopped talking and things started becoming weird. We slowly stopped talking and every time i messaged her, she wouldn't respond. Then sunday (may 19) she messaged me that she got a phone ( we would talk on facebook) and at that time I was trying to just get over her. So then I started to have a serious talk with her that day and asked how many questions like "Why wouldn't you talk to me anymore?", "What's happening to both of us?" stuff like that. Then after a few hours she answered most of my questions and we both decided to start over from the beginning. Also she said she liked me but she didn't try not to like me.. but she did. Now were texting like normal people.
Now my question is. What should i do? Try to make it happen or what? I mean i like her and stuff but I don't want the same things happening again. | Need advice with this girl im talking to |
t3_33shbz | relationships | Me [33F] with my husband (34M) in a dispute over money with father in-law | Hi all,
I'm a long time lurker on this sub and now hoping for some advice myself.
My father in law loaned my husband and I a substantial sum of money to help us buy our house 18mths ago.
We discussed the arrangement extensively and reached a verbal agreement that the money would be payable, including interest, on sale of the house or taken from my husbands inheritance, whichever is sooner. He (my FIL) got his lawyer to draft an agreement which went back and forth because I am also a lawyer and wasn't happy with the drafting (too much ambiguity). We never actually finalised it and have been going along without issue until this week...
My FIL is now demanding we pay a monthly interest amount. This was never part of the original agreement. He was very nasty to my husband about it when he blindsided him with the request last night. Name calling, aggression, questioning out financial decisions etc
I don't know what to do. I am confident that legally he would be stuffed in trying to come after the money, but my husband wants to find a way to pay it. I think this is because he doesn't want this to ruin what he has left of their relationship.
I totally understand this and would probably be ok with it except we have a baby due in two months and money will be tight for a while.
I guess I want to know how I can deal with this sensitively but in a way that doesn't put my husband and I under huge financial pressure?? | father in law lent us money and suddenly decided we have to pay him interest. Has been nasty and aggressive and don't know what to do. |
t3_3cmqlh | relationships | I [ 23 / M ] Need help reconnecting with best friends [ 22 / M&F ] after not talking | - I have been real close to a guy and girl friend for almost 5 years
- 2 years ago they started dating, but nothing really changed and still hung out with them
- last summer I became very depressed and went to them. In turn I became VERY needed and grew angry when my expectations weren't met. This went on until October.
- In October they cut me off and we didn't speak until May when I reached out to them, after dealing with my depression and seeing a therapist.
- This is where it gets complicated as i'm not sure how to really act anymore and I'm afraid what is acceptable and unacceptable to say.
The first time we hung out again it was with another mutual friend who they also hadn't talked to 6+ months. The guy was very receptive and it was like nothing changed. The girl on the other hand was very distant at times. For example when me and the mutual friend were on a balcony watching them walk towards our building, she did everything in her power to not look up at us. It improved at times during the night, but when we were leaving the mutual friend commented as well that the girl was being cold.
I was unsure if this was all because of the other friend, or me, or a combination, so I asked them out to dinner a few weeks later. Once again it started off bad. The guy very receptive, but the girl didn't even say hi. In fact sitting at the table she didn't say anything directly to me for 5 mins. Super awkward as I just talked to him. However after that it got more lively and we ended up being there for 3 hours.
She then invited me to her parents house for a 4th of July cookout (I went the prior year). I went and things seemed good, but once again there was a little of that coldness. Not as much as prior times, but still there.
How should I proceed? I'm not sure what this is all about. Do I just need to give it time? | Need help reconnecting with friends I haven't talked to in months after a falling out |
t3_1it6qy | relationships | Last night I(19f) I heard my stepdad(52) yell at my mom(51) calling her stupid and dumbass | I don't know where else to post this but I came home around 930 last night and I invited my friend inside. We went upstairs to my room and when we reached the top we could hear them arguing. My friend opened my door and I guess they didn't hear anything because they kept yelling. Well he kept yelling. I heard my mom tell him he gets defensive and he said that he just points out what's wrong and incorrect and my mom said oh yes you're right all the time. I heard him tell her my mom avoids everything and he yelled at her saying she's just standing thing looking stupid and she said something low and he yelled at her calling her a dumbass. I've never wanted to go barge in to argument so much in my life but I couldn't because I would make things worse. They had no clue I was home and I don't know how to act because I'm thoroughly disgusted. | what the hell do I do now? |
t3_2wvxxq | tifu | TIFU by buying a coffee. | Insert obligatory "this actually happened last year" line.
So one night last winter, during the great "Chiberia" storm, I decided to run to the bank that's a couple blocks from my apartment. I pass a Dunkin doughnuts on the way, and thought a coffee sounded great to keep my hands warm as I walked. I threw on my trusty beaten up beanie and sweater and head out. I order my coffee, and as the girl is making it, I see her whispering to her manager, and pointing at me. I thought it was a little weird, but whatever. The manager comes to ring me up, and hands me two doughnuts with my change. "That's so nice," I say, "Thank you very much!"
As I reach over to take my change, he says, "Bundle up tonight sweetie, it's going to be a very cold night." I looked at him a little strangely, said thank you, and walked out. In the parking lot, I feel in my pocket, and notice he left me a little piece of paper with an address on it. A quick Google search pointed me to a women's shelter. It took me a couple seconds to connect the dots. Shit. He thought I was homeless. At first I was a little offended, but when I thought about it, it was a really sweet gesture. I don't go there very often, but every time I stop for a coffee, I try to say hi to him, though I'm not sure if he remembers me. | Bought a coffee dressed like a bum, manager though I was homeless. Yay free doughnuts! |
t3_17a9g4 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your best long-winded joke? | Here's mine:
A man is leaning on a farm gate, watching the farmer round up some sheep when he realises that the farmer isn't using a sheepdog, but rather a pig. What's more, the pig, which is expertly manoeuvring the sheep into a pen, only has three legs.
"Excuse me," says the man to the farmer, "but why has that pig only got three legs?"
"Let me tell you a bit about that pig", says the farmer. "That pig not only herds my sheep, he also crows in the morning, milks the cows morning and night and collects the eggs from the hens."
"And that's not all!", he continued, "that pig can count! He counts so well that he does all the farm accounts and fills in my tax forms."
"What an amazing pig!" Says the man.
"I ain't finished!", says the farmer. "Two years ago, my farmhouse caught fire and the pig called the fire brigade and then fetched water from the river to douse the flames in the hall. He then fought his way through the smoke to where my wife and children lay unconscious and dragged them from the burning house."
"Wow!", says the man,"that really is an incredible pig. But I still don't understand why he only has three legs."
"Ah, well", says the farmer, "when you have a pig that is that special, you don't eat him all at once...". | Farmers are heartless shits who love bacon |
t3_3j4phq | jobs | Had an interview for a retail position but no pay mentioned.. When do I ask if this is the only interview? | I had an interview for a retail store today and it seemed to go well. The interviewer told me they'd get back to me in a week after the background check. I may or may not have a second interview for a different position, but in the mean time I said I would be okay with working a normal position like cashier or floor associate. They sounded ready to hire me... But she didn't mention the pay rate at all.
Also, the other position I'm wanting probably pays better, but I'd have to do the second interview first.
I currently make ~10 an hour and have a lot of experience in retail/customer service. I just need more work to help me while I finish school..
Usually I find out the pay at interviews or in the ad, but since she didn't say anything, I was afraid to ask and ruin the interview. When should I bring this up, if they don't? | I seem pretty much hired after my interview, but wasn't told the pay rate. When do I ask? |
t3_2kq3rb | relationships | Ways to make Christmas special for my [20F] mum [50F] when it might be her last one? | My mum has lots of health issues and has been disabled (even though she doesn't look it) most of her life. She was hoping to get a lung transplant but due to everything she has the risk was too great, and without the transplant, if her health keeps deteriorating as it is now she was given 2 years to live just over a year ago.
This has been incredibly hard and I'm tearing up thinking about how this may be her last christmas. I'm at university but will be going home for the christmas vacation.
I want to get her something or do something for her that shows her how much I love her and appreciate her, and will always, always feel that way.
I was thinking of maybe something to do with photos of the family through the years, but I don't want to make her sad. She's generally very strong about it though, and is more upset that she won't get to see our lives and our futures.
I would really appreciate any ideas or advice, and if anyone has been through or is going through anything similar it would be nice to hear from you. | It might be my mum's last christmas and I want to do something special for her. I'd appreciate any ideas or advice! |
t3_23jpaw | relationships | My girlfriend [17/F] of a year and a half thinks she wants to commit to the relationship with me [18/M]. | I say "thinks" in the title for a reason. She knows she does, but I feel like she doesn't know what that means because I am 18. That means I'm going to college and she isn't, but she really wants me to stay with her when I go off to school.
And that's the issue. I don't think she understands what that means. She doesn't like me talking to other girls (she's freaked out on me on multiple occasions), she can't stand drinking, and has refused to do anything physical with me over the year and a half.
I really do like her, and I would love to keep the relationship going, but I feel like she thinks that as long as I go to a close school that everything will work out great. She feels that no compromise will be necessary while I give up everything for her.
I'm scared that I'll end up giving up my college life (and who knows how much more after that) for a girl that I won't be with in the future. But at the same time, I feel like I should just end it now because I think it won't work because she isn't mentally mature enough to handle a college relationship. | I don't know about what I should do about my high school girlfriend when I go to college. |
t3_3ht7pm | relationships | My ex [23F] started dating an older man 33 | So we've been broken up for about three months now but continued to talk in between week stretches of not talking at all. Just kinda confused, we broke up because she moved away to New York, for at least a year and the distance would be a problem (I'm in Atlanta).
However she kinda had been texted strangly so I asked if she was seeing someone else, she just said yea but not exclusively or anything. Since asking her that 3 weeks ago we've talked very little. The guy she is dating is 33 and lives in Savannah.
My issue is we broke up because of distance, yet she is now dating someone just as far away. I had wanted to try and reconnect but this leaves me hurting. | Broke up b/c of distance, gf starts dating an older guy who lives just as far away, wanted to get her back but now don't know what to do |
t3_zhtuz | relationships | Girlfriend (23) and I (24) just had a big political argument, and I'm getting the freeze out now. | I've been dating this girl since end of May, though I've been courting (for lack of a better term) her since February of this year. We've known each other since August of last year. So basically, we've officially dated for 3 months, and have been friends for over a year.
Tonight we had a big argument about politics. It shouldn't have come up, but it did. Along the way, we argued about whether poor people are just lazy, whether there should be a flat tax, welfare, and the coup de grace, whether Obama is a citizen. I told her she was flat out wrong many times. But it also made her cry. I eventually ended the argument, but I should have shut it down way earlier. I tried to smooth things over before leaving her apartment. We get along just fine in every other aspect except for politics.
Now, I'm pretty sure I'm getting the freeze out. We had plans to go together to run some errands in the morning, but she's saying she can do them on her own now. I apologized to her now about letting our argument get that heated, and that I was a dick about certain points, but not sure if that's done any good.
Politics aside, because I'm still very convinced that I'm right, I don't know where to go with this. I do like her and all, but this cut off from communication is making me, well, anxious to say the least. Do I just need to wait for her to cool down? Sleep on it?
Anybody else been in a situation like this before? | Had a big political argument, I told her she was wrong, she cried, and now we're not really talking. Not sure where to go from here. |
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