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t3_3prtlb | tifu | TIFU: public speaking day | So this was a couple of months back (soz)
We have a | Co-ordinator announced that I claim I'm an excellent lover, I then invite my school-year to find out for themselves. |
t3_1wxwt4 | relationships | Recently found out girlfriend wants to wait till marriage for sex. (19m/f) | I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 7 months now, been taking it slow... Perhaps too slow.
I recently only found out that she doesn't believe in sex before marriage. We've talked about it a lot but she refuses to budge. The most she will let me do is finger her whilst I myself get no stimulation from her.
Now if it was, say 1 month in, this would be much less of a problem because of the lower amount of attachment and feelings etc. But it's been much longer and I really do care for her and my feelings for her are significant, she's a terrific gal . However, I believe sex is a must and if things were to go her way then I'm looking at at least 6 more years of my hotdog with no bun... No no no
If we broke up however it would be horrible. I'm in a position at the moment where I'm fairly down (father died, issues with friends etc) and her company really helps.
What's the best thing to do?
A million and a bit thanks for any help! | Only recently found out gf wants to wait till marriage for sex |
t3_3kc0yh | tifu | TIFU by telling my friend my reddit username | Hi friends, so today I was enjoying myself, talking to my friends and having a general good time. Anyways so it was me and 2 others on Skype and I was like, I've been on reddit a few times, they are both avid reddit users. So my friend "Jimmy" asked what I posted so I told him about a post I messed up on, and he said he'd try and find my reddit post.
So in my infinite wisdom when he exclaimed "omg what is your username" I proceeded to say it. He then found my reddit with all my posts that had deep eternal meaning and shit and he made fun of me and now I cry all the time. RT if you cri | I'm an idiot and told my mate my username so he could abuse me. |
t3_4on7ja | personalfinance | When is too soon to talk about getting a raise? | So 4 months ago I took a job at the lowest tiers of positions available at a tech(ish) company. During the interview I made it clear that I would be looking to move up fairly quickly. (This is my first real job so when I said that I didn't really know what I was talking about, but with my degree I'm overqualified for the position I took). So a week before my "probationary period" 90 days, I had a meeting with my boss. Basically I was crushing it and outperforming everyone. She informed I would be getting a lateral promotion (title only). Fast forward another month to two Mondays ago, I got an email from a higher up that is in a different office, saying her boss (my bosses boss; a guy I've only spoken to a few times) recommended that I help her train some different teams in my office (some of the people I'm training have been there for years). Of course I accepted. Got another email from her today saying she really appreciates my help and I've been doing a great job getting the ball rolling on this new project and everyone seems be trained well. I'm doing all of this while still doing my previous job.
So that's the back story and | To me it seems kind of silly to be asking for a raise after 4 months, but I do feel like I'm going above and beyond. When is too soon? |
t3_1k81h6 | relationships | Me[28M] with my girlfriend [29F] of 3 years. I suspected her lying about a number of things. I told her that she could have one free night to confide in me and I wouldn't get mad. Not sure how to handle my emotions. | My girlfriend has lied numerous times in the past and I've caught her. Nothing TOO big, the biggest was probably her talking to her ex boyfriend. I caught them flirting on text - she accidently showed me but not before she swore on my life they had no contact.
I know her so well that I know when she's lying now. I'll call her out on them but will insist she is not, looking me in the eye and swearing on everything.
Finally, I had enough. I sat her down and told her everything I know she's lying about. I told her I want her to confess and tell me the TRUTH! It's not what she has done that upsets me so much! It's the fact that I am unsure of everything she tells me now because I can't trust her!
Small things like, she's been adding boys to her Facebook that she meets at parties. I completely trust that these guys are just friends, she didn't tell me because she thought I'd get the wrong idea.
She took a picture with some stripper straddling her.
She set up a dating profile online when we were on rocky terms.
Numerous other lies. I gave her a FREE CONFESSION night, so that she could confide in me and I promised I wouldn't use it against her.
It felt good, I was glad that she confided in me. It actually turned me on to know that she actually had the balls to tell me.
But now I have mixed emotions. Now I know that she will openly lie to me. Now I know that she will go behind my back. I am upset and a little jealous about the things she told me. But I can't reem on her because I have to treat it like she DIDN'T tell me.
Not sure what to do. | I gave my untrustworthy girlfriend a free confession night, meaning she could confess all of her lies to me and I wouldn't get mad or use them against her. She confessed many things; however, many of the things make me jealous and now that she confirmed that she will openly lie I feel torn! But on the other hand what she did was very noble. |
t3_2o4juh | relationships | I [18 F] just don't understand the problem with my Bf [20 M]. He's perfect. | Me and my new "boyfriend" just went on our first date. It was wonderful. He's quiet and shy, but I've always liked that. The date suited my tastes and he was a real gentleman. We get along well and have a lot in common. It was the best date so far, and I've never met someone I feel so compatible with. He's decent looking and clean, with clear plans for the future and a good work ethnic.
A few things I noticed were that he was a virgin (got his first kiss :P), but that isn't exactly a problem for me, I found it rather sweet. (I'm far from it, btw). He doesn't curse or raise his voice, and is generally a calm, collected, down to earth kind of guy. I could totally see myself building a life with him.
But not a happy one. There just isn't....anything. He has all the qualities I look for in partners, I'm definitely attracted to him physically, so what's wrong? I just feel....disinterested. Perfect guy right in front of me, and I feel like I could care less.
After I learned he was a virgin, like, never been kissed, I stopped trying to make out with him, we talked and cuddled, then I went home. I wasn't even nervous about the date, and I am a pretty nervous person in general.
So am I somehow broken? He's done nothing wrong as far as I can see. It's obviously from my side. | Apparently I'm not satisfied with perfection. |
t3_2ax8e0 | relationships | GF told me there is no longer a sexual attraction towards me anymore. | I am 24M she is 21F.
We have been dating for almost a year now and recently she told me over text, she is no longer sexually attracted to me and doesn't have that spark anymore.
I felt terrible when i heard this. We talked in person today and after that she would tell me to stop if I mention what she said over texts. Stills calls me sweet names and says that I am "sexy."
She tells me that she is trying to find that spark, that sexual attraction again. When ever I look sad and down she asks why I am doing this to her and that she is trying to fix this.
I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this and have been feeling really down. I just need tips and advices to help overcome this feeling. What is going on? What should I do? | GF texted me she is not sexually attracted to me anymore/What should i do? |
t3_1sjiwh | relationships | Him [24 M] with my ex [24 F] is this a REBOUND? | Opinions please.
I was living with my ex gf for 7 months (24 f), me (27 m).
We had planned to get married, we even picked out what engagement ring we wanted.
We had already planned the names of our kids.
We had a horrible breakup. Horrible (mostly me being an ass)
Note: My ex wanted/wants a BF that has future goals in life, who isn't just some dude with no motivations. (I had that, but I wasn't perfect)
No more than 3 weeks after this breakup, 3 WEEKS - the one where we planned an entire future, she is now in a relationship with a guy she was friends with during the course of our relationship. He is (24 m)
She used to make fun of the fact: this guy failed out of community college. He works dead-end jobs (coffee shop), and lives with mountains of debt. She used to joke about how any cosmic bad things never compared to his life. In fact, I never had a bad word against him and she used to tease him (behind his back).
Our break-up, and his family crisis brought them to hang out more.
Is 3 weeks after something that was serious a rebound? I admire the guy and I don't want him to get burned by her. | After 7 months living with someone who was going to marry me, after our break up 3 weeks later she's with someone else. |
t3_42joos | Advice | I'm thinking of leaving Facebook. | I have been a user of Facebook since 2012. I was pretty okay with it, posting pictures and jokes. I use Facebook as both entertainment and communication. But, as a hefty amount of people have pointed out, it sucks now. And I can see why. I've only been able to put up with it for so long, but I fear I may have reached my limit.
Every day I have to see a "#KidsWillNeverKnow" post, "Like if you agree" post, a Zodiac sign post, improper use of emoticons, images about drugs/alcohol/anything minors shouldn't have, the dumbest of memes, attention-seekers, chain posts that are borderline ridiculous, stolen content, someone sharing a BuzzFeed post, people that act like they were dropped on their heads as a child, and/or all of the above! And even though that only infuriates me, there's one setback. My loved ones. Only on Facebook can I communicate with some of my friends and family members. I also think about how heartbreaking it would be if I quit and that took something from them somehow, i.e., making their day by posting a joke I heard. Plus, I like to use Facebook to pass the time, make announcements, and get word from some of my favorite content creators.
Not only that, but I have a friend that is a content creator and Facebook is the way I get informed of it. What should I do in this conundrum? | I want to leave Facebook because of all of its bullst but it's the only way I can communicate with a lot of my friends and family. Help? |
t3_2732zs | relationships | My ex [25F] has just been in a serious accident, how can I [25M] be there for her given our breakup? | We were friends then dated for about three months. I fell for her very hard and too quickly. About 6 months ago She broke up with me as she just wasnt feeling it. I have had trouble with this, but know of no better explanation. The breakup was a total surprise to me. She was adamant about being friends and had generally been very positive otherwise. However, I still have very strong feelings. Our relationship post break up has been rocky, We have fought repeatedly and made up repeatedly. Just before her accident I told her I didn't want to see her again as she began seeing someone else close to me.
I haven't been the best ex and have issues overstepping boundaries, usually by unwanted texting. I don't know details of her accident only that it is very serious. | How can I be there for her and help her recovery without being a burden? |
t3_165wat | loseit | Do yourself a favor and start shopping at Goodwill. | Obviously it's cheaper than buying new clothes, and that's a great first reason to try it out. When I first started losing weight, I was thrilled to find that clothes at regular stores (instead of fat guy stores) were fitting again, and I'd go every week or two to pick out new things. But then, something bittersweet happened: those new clothes became baggy as I continued to lose weight, and had to be replaced with more new clothes. This can add up quick, and I personally just can't justify spending $25+ on a shirt I'll only get to wear for a month or two. And that's how I first found myself at Goodwill, finding mint condition buttondowns for $3 a pop.
But there's more to it than just savings. To find shirts that fit you, you're going to wind up trying on loads of them, because different brands and styles are sized very differently. And you're going to find beautiful, mint condition, awesome looking shirts that don't fit, but would fit PERFECTLY if you'd just lose ten more pounds. And most people would simply curse the shirt and return it to the rack, **but you're going to buy that shirt**, because it's freaking $3, and it's going to hang in your closet for a month or six weeks or however long it takes, trying it on every weekend, hoping it fits, until it **DOES fit**. My closet always has three sizes hanging in it: shirts that fit, shirts that will fit, and shirts that used to fit and need to be re-donated. | Go to Goodwill, save money, buy inspiration. |
t3_379lar | relationships | Me [24 F] with my ex [31 M] 1.5 year, Dealing with the after affects of gaslighting | I broke up with my boyfriend a week or so ago. It was the right thing to do. He was abusive, and just toxic in my life. My friends and family are supportive. They want me to be happy and safe. But it's hard to deal with the fact that this isn't my first abusive relationship. I know it's not my fault, but it's hard not to believe something is wrong with me.
There was a lot of gaslighting. The more I think about that relationship, the more I see it. I reached out to hotlines, and they are helpful. But there are still times I doubt myself.
He cheated, yelled at me, ignored me for days, didn't visit me when I was in the hospital. I know these things happened, but I still doubt myself and my decision.
He was my first real love which makes it feel increasingly difficult | How do you get over the effects of gaslighting? How do you start trusting other people or even yourself? |
t3_22174i | AskReddit | What was the best day of your life? | Mine is really simple. I grew up in the countryside & My twin brother & I always wanted pocketknives.
My dad's family are distant relatives of Truman Caopte, & my father grew up in a town called Finchburg, Alabama. He showed us his pocketknife & we thought it was so amazing. It had this worn tortoise shell-like finish, but worked great & had a finely shaped blade. It was a simple knife.
My parents had both decided against getting us knives, they are very peaceful people & would not even allow us to play with toy guns sometimes (when we were much younger), although we'd use a machete sometimes working on the farm (it was seen as just another work instrument).
One day after school (I was in the fifth grade or so), he picked us up in this beat up old ford truck. He normally drove his BMW but he had apparently been hauling grain or hay. After my brother & I had gotten into the truck he presented the knives to us, we were livid. I was having a hard time in school, many of my classmates & teachers were racist (I am part black), & I was bullied. To be given that after another hard day meant so, so much to me.
Now I live in a bigger city & am living my childhood dreams & married to a wonderful wife, but my mind slips into that warm memory every now & then. | GGG Dad surprised my brother & I with pocketknives. |
t3_2yaz6s | relationships | (Non-Romantic) Pretzels ruined everything | Quick synopsis: I am a 14 year old male in 8th grade, and my 14 female friend also in the 8th grade, said something about marriage, I overheard, said these exact words "oh, okay, I think i know what u said." Now its super awkward around her. To me, I think. I only want to rid our relationship of this awkwardness, I don't want to be anything more than friends with her. I don't exactly know what to say about it to her. | I brought pink yogurt covered pretzels to school the day before Valentines day and ruined my relationship with just a friend. |
t3_3znl5z | legaladvice | Audio repair shop refusing to give back my deposit, but no repairs have been made. | So I took my receiver in to a repair shop, and put down an $80 deposit that the repairman told me would be put towards the cost of repair. He said he'd give me the estimate in a couple days, but it's been over a month and I still haven't received an estimate for the cost of repair nor have any repairs been made to it.
In the end, I got sick of waiting and told him I just wanted my receiver and deposit returned, and he told me I can have my receiver but the deposit will be kept since he "diagnosed" my equipment. I came in telling him the transformer is blown, and he reiterated exactly what I told him... I was never made aware that my deposit could be withheld for this, and I believe this is a fraudulent business act. I looked up reviews on this place after the fact (wish I'd done so before...) and this is a common occurrence; he makes excuses for months on end, and when the customer is fed up and wants their deposit back he concocts some reason to withhold it.
Also, all of our conversations were through text so I have a record of what he told me the deposit would be used for. I live in Ontario and I've been having trouble finding law relevant to this sort of thing. Will the police help me with this? I feel that this guy is basically a scam artist, and that I've been a victim of fraud as he gave me misleading information. Any advice would be appreciated. | No estimate has been given, and certainly no repairs made, but the repairman refuses to give back my deposit stating it will be kept since he supposedly diagnosed my receiver. |
t3_1bsycg | dogs | My once sweet puppy has become oddly angry..I'm at a loss, I need help. | My mother and I got Bentley, an unknown small dog mix, when he was a few months old from a woman who seemed to have neglected him. He was pretty thin, walked with bow legs from being crated day and night, and he smelled like pee. We've had him since maybe August, and he's been the sweetest little guy. He and our 4 year old snauzer/poodle Zoey get along fairly well, they play and sleep together every night.
However, recently he's been having some odd anger issues. If anyone touches his neck or back, he growls and shows his teeth. He doesn't seem to be in pain, just very angry. Today he jumped the fence in my back yard and when I went to get him, he snarled and bit my hand extremely hard. It took me almost an hour to get him back into the house. In addition to the touching problems, he's started to become mildly food aggressive with Zoey. We've always separated the two when they eat, but lately if Zoey walks near Bentley when he's eating he growls and shows his teeth. He's never snapped at her, but he does growl and that's a fairly recent problem.
He's not neutered yet, but I plan to have that done when I move out of my moms house with my boyfriend in a few months and bring him with me. We're taking him and Zoey to the vet soon for a checkup and there I'll be asking about the neck and back problems, but I figured I'd ask here too. Has anyone ever had any experience with dogs not wanting to be touched in the neck/back area? I love him to death, but I'm at wits end with the way he's been acting lately. | My dog Bentley has recently become food aggressive and doesn't like to be touched for seemingly no reason. |
t3_3lyg55 | travel | Lost 3DS on Spirit 464 from Ft. Lauderdale to O'hare | I'm thinking this probably isn't the best subreddit to post this, but I wasn't sure where would be and thought you guys might be able to point me in a better direction if there is one.
My family and I left Ft. Lauderdale, Florida on Spirit Flight 464 last night (9/21/2015) around 9:50 PM. Near the end of the flight, as we began the descent into Chicago O'Hare, my just over 2 years old daughter starting waking up and was making quite a fuss so I slipped my Nintendo 3DS into the seatback pouch while I comforted her. This took priority and once we landed I forgot that I hadn't retrieved the 3DS until after we passed the point of no return to get to the baggage claim.
I followed up immediately with Spirit baggage services who said they were unable to get ahold of the gate agents, took my info and a description of the 3DS and said they call me back today.
I hadn't heard anything this morning so I called them back and they hadn't found it but directed me to LaGuardia NY airport where the plane had gone next and the Spirit Baggage official there also checked but no one had turned it in.
He directed me to Detroit, the next destination of the plane so I called them. A little good luck that the plane had just arrived and they were deplaning at that moment. They sent an agent in to check my seat but came back empty-handed.
So, I guess what I'm getting at is if anyone flew Spirit early this morning from O'Hare to LaGuardia or from LaGuardia to Detroit (I think this one was Spirit 475) and found a gold and black "A Link Between Worlds" special edition Nintendo 3DS with the game cartridge for Story of Seasons in it, I would really be extremely appreciative if you could get it back to me. My sister had logged 99 hours on Story of Seasons and I feel absolutely horrible that I've lost it.
I know it's a long shot but if you've got any info, it'd really make my day. | Lost 3DS on Spirit flight from Ft. Lauderdale to O'Hare late last night. Plane has since gone to LaGuardia and then to Detroit, Spirit officials said it's not on the plane. If you have it, please be a good person and contact me for return info. I'll most certainly pay shipping and some extra for your trouble. |
t3_3a0t26 | relationships | Me [29m] and my girlfriend [29f] of 5 years are lost. Love doesn't feel like enough any more. I don't know where to go for advice. | This is my first post so i apologise for any errors in etiquette.
She is a brilliant woman who's family history is full of trauma and neglect. Her mother raised 8 kids in spite of a do nothing husband (recently deceased) with a history of substance abuse.
I love her madly but i feel like i have always been inadequate for her. She has high but not unrealistic expectations of me as her lover/companion that i have trouble meeting. Sexually, domestically, and romantically. I have been feeling grossly inadequate for my short comings and she feels inadequate because of my short comings. I don't know how to proceed.
Last year i caught her making out with a man who she had told me was just a friend even though i found out he told her he was in love with her. She refused to stop seeing him. Since then i haven't tried as hard as i usually do.
I don't know what to do. When ever we talk about it she kills the conversation by crying and/or self harming (striking, pinching, or scratching) herself.
I am far from perfect and although i feel she is my soul mate, i am starting to think that we are not good for eachother.
I want to be her rock and i know she loves me too but I am more and more frequently worried that our love is toxic.
Is there any hope? | after 5 years is it possible that we truly are incompatible? |
t3_3glou3 | relationships | I'm [25m] dating a [23f] for two months and I devastated her and can't touch her | Hello fellow redditers.
I've been dating this girl for a couple months now. Everything seems to be going well, a few minor bugs like communication but we're working it out. Last weekend we came to a point where a couple things happened and we considered breaking up. We decided not to, and proceeded that night to hangout with friends. We went back to her place where we started to have sex. Now, she has a skin issue where if we have sex too long I cause her pain. It started to reach that point and I saw her suffering so I wanted to stop. She asked what can we do to finish me and I suggested I could finish myself and that destroyed her. In her minds eye her inability to finish me makes her unappealing, undesirable, unattractive. I've explained to her that I desire her over myself but Its falling on dead ears. It's been a week now and there's no level of reassuring her that will change her mind. I can't touch her. Whenever I try to hold her hand or hug her (which now has been completely stopped) she freezes up on me. She gets rigid and panicks. She won't look at me. I don't know what to do anymore and I don't want to end it simply because I see no end to our pain. I suggested it but she said that she's going to feel like this with me or without me. So moving forward, she suggested we need to find a solution or something to work towards but all my suggestions up to now have been failures. I need help please. What should I do? | I insulted my girlfriend sexually and now she doesn't want me to touch her |
t3_3thi7s | relationships | I (21 F) am interested in a guy (21 M) who is private, indifferent to pretty much everything & unsentimental | He is very intelligent, but never discusses/reveals his emotions or that he even has any; he is indifferent about almost everything and everyone and even his male friends joke that he's cool but difficult to form a bond/attachment with.
When I try to understand him or him to open up he says he has nothing to say ie. he just doesn't care & jokes that he's a sociopath.
He never initiates contact with people, but when he's around me/his friends he seems to enjoy our company (albeit on his strange way).
He sounds like an asshole & I tell him that he is but I'm hugely attracted to his intelligence and I feel that this is all an exterior.
How can I get someone like that to open up to me so that I can decide whether or not I actually like *him* as he truly is in his core? | How do I get a cold person to open up to me? |
t3_rjvil | AskReddit | How does a poor kid get into college? | So here is some background information on me:
I live in in the US, the state of Oregon to be specific.
I'm 16 and coming towards the end of my sophomore year. I have a 3.9 GPA currently and I expect to finish with it around a 3.7-3.8.
I will have done 8 AP courses (AP european, AP us history, Ap calculus, AP language, AP literature, AP micro econ, AP macro econ, and AP gov) by the time I graduate. I will also have lettered in cross country, track, and speech and debate each three times. I'm a member of the national honor society.
I do all this stuff so that I can get into a good college, but now I'm not sure how I can go to a normal state school...
This is because I have a problem. I have no money at all. Like, none. My parents used to have meh-paying jobs, but now my dad is unemployed and my mom works part time. We are not totally fucked because my mom has a few okay job opportunities, she's just looking for a really good one. My parents will not really be able to contribute money for college is the point I'm trying to make...
I would like to know how student loans work, what FAFSA is, how i can get scholarships and grants (as well as what those are exactly), and most importantly: **Am I gonna be able to go to** **[OSU?] (the in-state tuition is [$7,115]( | How does poor nerd go to a University? |
t3_2likp5 | relationships | I [21F] am about to lose a friend [21M] because I'm too afraid to confront him. | My friend and I have been close for about a year or so. Recently, I THINK** we had a falling out. I said something kind of snippy...but had no idea it would be that big of a deal...
A couple days later I felt bad because we weren't talking so I wanted to apologize. I started off by saying "hey" and he saw my message and didn't respond. 2 weeks now, and we still haven't spoke a word to each other when we used to talk every day. I try to reach out again but he makes it obvious that he's ignoring me too.
I'm really not sure what to do at this point. I've basically been shoving it under the rug, like "oh well, there goes a friend... i don't care, he's the one being a jerk" but I think deep down that just an excuse because I'm so afraid of confronting him and asking what's wrong etc. At this point I'd rather lose him as a friend then to hear him say how he hates me or something.
Is there something wrong with me? Do you guys think I should really do something? I just don't know. and I don't know if its worth confronting him because it feels a bit unfair to me as I'm not even sure why he's SO mad to be ignoring me for 2 weeks? | friend is super mad at me for GOD knows what and I'm not sure if its worth confronting him about it because I am a very NON-confrontational and sensitive person |
t3_2le0h7 | relationships | I (23F) have mixed feelings when it comes to my fiance (23M) sneaking off to masturbate. | When I know or suspect he's masturbating I feel a rush of tension and anxiety. Part of me can't stand to stew in my feelings and wants to take action and the other part of me tries to be rational. I would describe my feeling as a mix of sadness, anger, and betrayal.
He knows I feel this way… we've talked plenty of times… he said there's "nothing he can do because he can't relate". It only makes matters worse when I notice him obviously trying to shuffle his phone out of view, or won't let me see what's on his phone at all.
We've tried being more open about our habits (communication) but I think it only makes me feel worse. He tells me that he wants to quit / slow down his masturbation habits because: 1. I'm upset about it 2. He feels it's childish and a waste of time 3. He thinks it's "fiendish". But I think this goal of his is unrealistic for a long-term fix.
So… I need your opinions… your personal stories… your advice… anything that will help me eventually be at peace. | My fiancé's porn-gazing habits are slowly driving me crazy. |
t3_2hd8qk | needadvice | Thinking about joining the military as a last resort. | I'm turning 19 next month, and still haven't found my passion. I just want to be happy. I want to wake up every morning at 5am and be proud to get ready for my career. I also, want to have a family someday but can't if I'm not a provider. I feel like I'm going nowhere. :(
I'm attending a community college taking a Auto101 class (and other general aid classes) to see if Automotive will be my career, but I just like it as it will help later in life, but I'm not in love with it.
I don't really enjoy school as much but my mom says I have to do something, so I'm trying. I recently found out I have ADHD last week from a video I saw
this can explain why my grades always been so poor. I didn't even know this was a condition.
Anyways, I feel like I'm wasting my life. I don't want to be 25-30 still living with my mom. It feels like my only hope is joining the military.
I feel like a failure. I never had a job, but I'm thinking about getting one next semester at the local movie theaters. The thing is that I have social anxiety so interviews will probably be a little hard and my resume is lacking..
I need advice, please share yours. | Having trouble finding my passion, and feeling like I'm going nowhere in life. I'm considering joining the military as a last resort. |
t3_1z4kqh | legaladvice | I have a question about selling my car in Texas. | A few years ago my car was involved in a minor collision that didn't do any serious damage, so it's still very drivable. It's an older car so it would be more expensive to fix than it's technically worth, so the insurance company declared it totaled, and told me to get a salvage title for it. Since then, I've driven it a lot, and it's passed state inspection with no trouble. Now, I'd like to sell it. I neglected until now to get the salvage title, and I've found out that to get one it needs to pass inspection. This year, however, there was an issue that failed the inspection, so I now can't get a salvage title until I fix it. Problem is, it might be expensive, and I can't afford it right now. I'd like to still sell it, but without the salvage title. Would this be legal if I were up-front to the buyer about it needing one? What about to a salvage yard? Would the standard title be enough? | Car needs a salvage title, does not have one. Is it still legal to sell? |
t3_3mr0t1 | relationships | I(26f) feel like my bf(33m) looks down on me for not holding the same political views as he does | We met at a social gathering and been together almost a year. Recently we've been talking about politics more as I guess that season is coming up and were butting heads more on our political views.
Our arguments get pretty intense (nothing physical or abusive) but he like seems exasperated by the end of our arguments and I feel like he thinks I'm an idiot for what I believe. Like it's so obvious that what he believes is right and I'm wrong. I feel like he's started treating me with kid gloves or something and doesn't bother to defend any view he has that differs from mine now (even non-political stuff). Any conversation we have where he's on one side and I'm on the other, he just gives up after a bit and doesn't want to continue the conversation any more. I like him a lot, he's a great guy and we've moved in together at the beginning of summer but I want to sort out this issue I'm having with him. | my bf keeps disregarding my feelings and makes it seem like I'm dumb for not agreeing in regards to politics. Aside from politics, any adversarial-type discussion results in him giving up and doesn't want to take me seriously. |
t3_4glcws | personalfinance | 25 y/o male with the opportunity to take over family business or get a job elsewhere. Looking for advice | Hi,
The summation of my situation is as follows.
My father owns an advertising company which brings in about 1.6-2.2mm a year. I am currently working with him as a salesperson on commission only. The nature of the business is such that we are in a slower season with the holidays being much busier. As a result I have not been making a desirable salary, though it may pick up as the year progresses. The idea is that eventually I will learn enough of the business that I can take over for him. The company has 6 employees including my father and myself. The other position would be an account manager for an IT MSP. It would have a base salary + commission. I would be starting around $50k + commission and profit sharing etc. The second option would have health insurance and other benefits while my dad's company does not. One of my main concerns is that at my age I'd like to be able to go out and socialize with my coworkers, but with my dad's company the office is in rural jersey and my coworkers are ~30 years my senior. The account manager position would be in connecticut, but I have a friend who works for the company who is looking to move out of his parents house so we would live together. Just trying to see what you guys think would be a better financial decision. I am also wondering what your opinion would be towards making less money now with the chance at making a good amount more later in life or making ~60-80k now with the prospect of making ~130-180k down the road. The idea of being able to start saving money as soon as possible is very appealing to me as I am pretty frugal already, but without making money currently it's a bit difficult to save any. Sorry for the wall of text, but I'm bad at formatting on reddit. | 25 y/o, make 30-40k now with the prospect of taking over a 2 mil. a year company in a few years but with no benefits or make 60-80k now with the prospect of making 130-180k in a few years with full benefits |
t3_1w436a | relationships | Me (24F) with my boyfriend (23M) - broke up, getting back together, doesn't want any physical contact, need advice please | Boyfriend and I dated for about 3 years and he broke up with me a month ago. He was having trouble with the distance while we both spend this year abroad in different countries. I've been okay with the distance. It sucks but I've made some friends and have a wonderful Icelandic family I'm living with.
The last month has been awful for me and I finally decided that I should move on whether I want to or not. He wanted to come visit me for the holidays in Iceland but I told him not to come unless he wanted to work things out. I didn't want this long drawn out goodbye sequence filled with tears and landscapes living in my subconscious. He ended up coming after the New Year and we were physical.
I'm now visiting him in Sweden and he's been extremely standoffish. He doesn't want to hug me or kiss me. Even holding hands bothers him. I asked him why he was being so aloof and he said he's trying to work it out in his head. He feels uncomfortable being physical when I'll just be leaving again. This bothers me. I feel insecure and unwanted and it doesn't help when he tells me he wants to work things out but shows no interest in me.
I'm in love with him. I want to make things work. We spent the past month with very limited contact. With 5 more months of long distance ahead I'm worried it'll only be harder. What do I say to him and how can we make this work? | Boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me for 1 month, wants to make things work but isn't wanting any physical contact. |
t3_2l4whg | tifu | TIFU by not throwing away the evidence properly | Throwaway because my girlfriend is an avid user. To begin this story I must start with some context, I live with my family still and my younger sister takes care of a family friends dog on the weekdays. Anyways, rewind to last night, the whole family is out working and I decide to invite the ladyfriend over to my humble abode to hangout. One thing leads to the next and we are having "private time" in my room. Post intercourse I dispose of the evidence in my trashcan and head out on the town to have a date night. Night goes as planned and I drop her off at her house around 11pm. I come home to my parents and sisters fast asleep and I soon do the same. I then wake up to my mom sitting in the kitchen in solitude, I join her to make myself some food and talk about the day. She turns to me and says, "Take a wild guess as to what I stepped on this morning". My face grew red with embarrassment after i quickly pieced it together. The dog that my sister takes care of, thought that my mom may want a little gift next to her bedside. He is well know for going through our kitchen trash but i never assumed he would feel the desire to dig through mine. | Left used condom in the trash, dog then brings condom to parents bedroom. |
t3_1jydy8 | relationships | (30M) dating (22F), I have a problem raising my voice and she is oversensitive. This morning she said "I can't do anything right" I kinda lost it. | This morning, in the car to drop her off at home, she mentions that she is cooking a dinner tonight for a friend's birthday. Me, in my soporific state, reply with: "Well, I hope it tastes good." She immediately responds with: "The least you could do is encourage me... I can't ever do anything right"
Here's my hangup. She attacks my character when this is about something specific. I am frustrated that i can't even express mild disdain about something trivial, let along important matters. I wrote her a long email apologizing for raising my voice, and then elucidated my main point. I expect her not to resort to character assassination. I began raising my voice when she said "I can't do anything right". I was so frustrated. Help. | I'm an asshole for not encouraging her that the meal would be GREAT. |
t3_3jmdqi | relationships | I [19M] 'cheated' on her [18F], but I didn't know we were in a relationship. | Sorry if that title is confusing. Anyway, I started college a couple of weeks ago, and this girl (Claire) that I met and I immediately hit it off. We started hanging out and texting a lot, went on a few dates, we kissed, and I thought things were going pretty well. I wouldn't say it was a relationship yet, but maybe it could turn into one. This all took place over about a week.
A bit less than a week ago she texted me asking if I wanted to do something later. I said yes, and she just stopped responding to my texts. I thought, 'okay, I guess she doesn't want this to go any further'. So I backed off, and we haven't really talked since.
I met this other girl (Sarah) in another one of my classes, and we started talking and I asked her out to coffee yesterday. We went and had a fun time, but Claire's friend saw Sarah and me and told her, and now Claire is mad at me, saying that she thought we had something and I basically cheated on her. I'm just confused because she was the one who stopped responding to my texts so I thought she wanted to end things. Am I in the wrong here? Should I have waited longer before asking Sarah out? Did Claire not want to end things? I'm just really confused here. | A girl I went on a few dates with stopped responding to my texts, so I thought she wanted to end things. I went on a date with another girl, and now she's mad. |
t3_1sql04 | relationships | 26M 29F, dating 3 years.... over the past 1.5 months, she goes out with her new male friend EVERY weekend. | I know her pretty well and I imagine that is staying loyal even while she is going out with this guy on the weekends... and getting breakfast with him in the mornings... and going to his work functions * | girlfriend going out frequently with some other guy, what do yall think? |
t3_kboo4 | personalfinance | Debt-Credit ratio question | So I am going over my credit report from experian and they have a few notes as far was what about my report is effecting my score(pos/neg).
One of the things that is lowering my score is a low debt-credit ratio.
Its at 32% right now I think. The problem is that I have about $15k in installment debt (student loans and car loan). But my credit limit is about $3.5k. I have my first CC from 5ish years ago that has a limit of $750, and my second from about 4 years ago with a limit of $~3k.
Ive never bothered getting another card as I was struggling enough with school and money, but now that I'm decently planted in my career and making good money, I want to improve my score.
When I bought the car (about $10k loan) it dropped my credit score 101 points overnight because of this ratio issue. Its almost bounced back completely, but is still affecting my score.
My score is about 640 depending on who you ask, and I'm getting an arse load of pre-approved offers. I'm wondering if I should take one those offers and hope the extra credit limit raises my score some? If so, any suggestions on what banks/offers/card pictures? | Should I get another CC to raise my credit limit in the hopes it raises my FICO? |
t3_3g4d9b | relationships | My[23 Female] 7 year relationship with my boyfriend[23 male] has ended and I feel a little lost. | Hello all.
The break up is obviously a little hard for me. I have conflicting feelings about everything. Some days I know I did the right thing, some days I feel like I should have stayed with him. Then, out of nowhere there is a little part inside of me that is like a wild animal. I've been wanting to drink and...not to be graphic or anything, but I've had...a lot of sexual tension lately...and something inside me just wants to bust out and go crazy.
I'm not like that at all, for starters. Only been with my ex and gave him all my firsts. I'm quiet, I'm shy, I'm very awkward. Not a nun in training or anything, but I cherish my body and love the thought of giving it to a unselfish guy that will love me unconditionally for the rest of my life (im a bit of hopeless romantic). Thing is, I don't think i am going to find that guy so quickly. lol Would it be wrong of me to mess around or at least find a trustworthy friends with benefits partner, when it isn't something I would ordinarily do? I'm just a little confused about this and would like to know some of your experiences. | Broke up with selfish boyfriend of 7 years, feeling horny and craving alcohol. Would it be wrong to indulge in these urges? Is this normal? What should I do? Would like advice/experiences. |
t3_26199x | relationships | My girlfriend of 5 years (F21) and I (M20) have a kid together but recently broke up. I can't move on, help? | My now ex and I broke up about three months ago. I was blind sided by the break up and thought everything was fine. The problem is I can't move on. We did everything together for
5 years and now I feel lost. We have a son together and every time I contact her to see our son, it brings back all the memories.
I know a lot of advice for breakups is to exercise but her and I were work out partners and every time I go to the gym it reminds me of her.
Anyone been through something similar that can offer advice? | gf and I broke up but I come in contact with her every week so I can't get her out of my head |
t3_rxp65 | AskReddit | Has anyone ever dated their friends ex? | About a month ago I got off with my friends ex-girlfriend(also a good friend within the group), we've been getting closer over the recent weeks. So last night i decided to give my friend a heads up on the situation. His reaction was to slate her off as a bad human being. There was no straight answer from him, the conversation went down the road of him acting as though he is telling me this to protect my feelings from her. They broke up on bad terms well over a year ago.
I did not really expect this reaction, my initial thought was I have asked his opinion on the matter, thus I should respect what he said. On the other hand there is a large part of me that thinks he is only acting in his best interest and not giving any fucks about anyone else.
I don't know whether I should date her now or not? Anyone have any stories of situations like this? | I want to stick it to my friend's ex without sticking it to him. |
t3_4gxfig | tifu | Tifu by not unpacking my speakers properly | Obligatory this did not happened today but a year or so ago, a recent reddit post on r/pics reminded me.
Also I don't post much so please be nice :)
So I built a computer for gaming purposes I didn't want to spend too much on speakers so I bought some basic Logitech ones. Nice and simple, just plug in and go. I started to notice when playing games and music that there was no bass, I just assumed it's cos they were cheap.
Fast forward a year later and I'm sitting at my desk with my mate, he enquired as to why no bass? I explained to him it's always been that way and the speakers are bad. He picks the speakers up and notices I never pulled off the plastic wrapping which caused the speakers to not vibrate properly. As soon as he pulled the plastic off the bass was definitely there. Over a year of unacceptable bass-less music and gaming due to my stupidity. Turns out they are actually pretty good speakers for the price. | it's all about dat bass! |
t3_10qw4l | AskReddit | Reddit I need pest-control advice; how do you permanently get rid of fleas? | My sister has two cats that used to have fleas and she would bring them over to my parents' house. She only stayed about two days and then went back to her own apartment. This happened about 3 times before I started noticing little bite marks on my legs when getting into bed. My bedroom was in the basement and had a carpet floor, but the shitty carpet that's all flat and rough because the people who had the house before us used it as a sewing room (old lady). Then I noticed that there were little black things crawling up my legs and biting me and realized that they were fleas. Fuck having hairy legs. The fuckers would crawl up my socks and bite right where the socks meet my shins. Fuck everything about them.
Anyways, after about a week, enough was enough and I decided to move into the bedroom upstairs and leave that hell-hole alone. It's nice upstairs because its all hardwood flooring with the occasional rug here and there. I went back down the a flaming vengeance with this cheap-ass fabric flea spray and basically used up the whole bottle spraying down the shitty-ass carpet and couch and sides of the mattress, followed by a vacuuming. It seemed to work for a bit because when I walked in the room I didn't find any of the bastards that jumped on me. I still didn't trust the room so I still just stayed upstairs. Skip forward for a couple months and a few more visits from my sister and her cats and the place is now thriving with fleas again. The cats were even flea-free before the visit so there must've been some flea eggs hidden somewhere.
To make a long story short, the fleas are starting to invade the upstairs after I made a trip downstairs to the room for a second to grab something and came back up to find my socks and shins were infested with about 20 of the little FUCKING CUNTS. Sorry, I really hate fleas. So how the fuck do we get rid of them? I live in Canada so there aren't as many options as far as bug control goes (less sprays and no bug-bombs) which fucking sucks. | Fucking fleas are making their way upstairs from the basement room because my dumbass self wanted to grab something in the room and brought about 20 of the fuckers with my socks and legs upstairs. |
t3_35lrlb | tifu | TIFU by Convincing my Mentally Challenged Cousin to Eat a Thumbtack | This actually happened yesterday, since our family got together for Mother's Day. I'm isolating myself sitting and texting in one of the side living room areas, since my mother passed away a couple years before and I'm not too fond of the holiday anymore. Suddenly, my cousin (let's call her Tumpy), who was born with down syndrome, walks into the room. I briefly chat with her and suddenly she picks a thumbtack off the ground! I snatch the thumbtack from her hand and tell her not to play with sharp objects.
Then I had an idea! What would happen if Tumpy ate the thumbtack? This is where I truly fucked up. I told her that thumbtacks were actually just pointy candy and that she should try it. Tumpy trusted me enough to eat it and when she did, she emitted the loudest screech of pain I've ever heard in my life. She dragged her legs across the ground and charged into the other main living room area where everyone else was seated, knocking over lego structures that the kids made. Now she's screeching, the kids are crying, the pie is getting burned and everyone is frantic and freaking out.
That's when Tumpy opened her mouth and everyone sees a thumbtack stuck down the side of her throat. Using tweezers, they remove it, and lecture her not to eat sharp or unknown objects. Then, she pointed at me. Everyone's head turned to face me, glaringly. Tumpy shouted "HE DIDHG TOLD EATTTTTUGHHHH". I shrugged and told them I had no idea what she was indicating and they believed me.
Now I feel really awful! Should I apologize to Tumpy? I'm starting to feel like convincing her to eat the thumbtack might be considered insensitive. Regardless, I fucked up. Help! | I convinced my cousin to eat a thumbtack and because of her learning disability, nobody believed her when she pointed me out. |
t3_44yz6m | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22 M/F] of 4 months, I'm not comfortable with our official date | Hey Reddit
Me and my boyfriend have a wonderful relationship. We fit so well and it's just so easy being with him. We enjoy similar stuff, have the same sense of humor and are just generally having a great time together. I couldn't ask for more.
Obviously I wouldn't be posting here if it weren't for the but... There's this one thing that has been kind of bothering me since the start. My ex and me had a pretty 'weird' official date (think holiday or major event). We broke up and about a half year later I meet my current boyfriend. By pure chance, this happens to be on the anniversary date of my ex and me. We hit it off instantly and get into a relationship. In a weird way, everything just felt super right and we never really had 'the talk' or anything like that.
A couple of months later we talk about deciding on an official date. It's not necessary but I think it's a really cute idea. Since we never really became official in the traditional sense we don't share a special date except for the one we met. So that's what my boyfriend suggests. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea, I want this relationship to have it's own things and be a completely different thing. But I also didn't want to give my boyfriend the impression that he has to consider my ex in some way. I really don't care about my ex anymore but I just so happen to remember dates really well. I don't want to lose a second of thought to my ex on the day I want to celebrate the relationship I have with my boyfriend. I just couldn't tell him that. I stated that I'm not comfortable with the date and he didn't really understand yet was perfectly fine with moving it to the day after that. Which still feels so... used?
Am I being weird? How do I get over this? Should I forget about an official date completely? Should I tell him why its bothering me? It seems such a silly problem but I just can't get it out of my head. Please, help me with some advise! | I'm being overly difficult about the official date of my boyfriend and me because it's about the same my ex and me had. |
t3_40uudq | dating_advice | Advice on a girl I want to ask out. | Hey,
So there is a girl I want to ask out next week. Lets call her Susie.
Im in college not and am picky about the girls I choose to go out with. I'm not about just hooking up with people. Susie and I are coworkers, kinda. We are both Resident Assistants (RAs) - if that means anything. I talked with susie everyday last semester from school to personal life and such. We kinda flirted back and forth and she always laughs at my jokes no matter how bad or subtle they are. Over the break we have been snapchatting everyday over break.
She sent me a message a few days ago saying that she's excited to be single this semester after waiting for a guy to want to be with her all last semester. Her last boyfriend was over a year ago and hasn't been with anyone since.
Lately, I've been trying to move from snapchat to texting and she hasn't been replying as much unless its involving work really. Over snapchat she'll talk to me all day… its weird. Right?
Anyways, she comes back next tuesday and I want to ask her out. I'm not worried about things getting weird if she says no. it wont really change the work environment.
On tuesday, it'll just be us before other people get back. It's the day I want to ask her out. Should I asked her out or say anything along the line of "would you like to go out with me?"
Any advice would be great!
Thanks! | Girl I like laughs at my jokes and we talk for at least an hour every day. She says she's excited to be single. I want to ask her out. Should I? |
t3_1kbg9m | relationship_advice | [18/m] needing a mental approach for this school year | Well, this is it. Senior year, but I have no want to see any of those people anymore. Earlier in my high school years I was in a serious 2-year relationship. Its tough to gauge how 'serious' it was because we were both so young, but even today, a year after we broke up, it kills me. Midway through the year, my best friend decides to date her. Obviously now i hate his guts, mostly because he told me about it in the worse way. The only other girl i really liked is in college, and has changed. Im not socially awkward or anything; i play mulitple sports, im tall and lean; im even in the 'popular group.' But im really not happy, im heartbroken and i dont like or trust anyone anymore even though i can play it off that im happy and everythings okay. I just need help finding some mental approach that can get me through this year, and seeing my ex and my ex best friend everyday. Any comments will help more than youll know. Last year was really rough for me, i became an alcoholic, suffered from depression, and nearly killed myself several times. I cant let another year like that happen again. | kid needs help to get through his last year of high school |
t3_45hfuy | Advice | I need advice on what to tell my father regarding a scratch on rim of his car he loves. | Hello car people of reddit. I need some advice.
My dad has a black Volvo V60 r-design car. It has very cool looking rims, roof mounts and a roof that can be opened. Out of all the cars he's had this one is his favourite, he even went so far as to buy an expensive pot of American car shine wax(apply twice a year) so the car looks even more amazing.
Now here comes the thing. A few months ago he got a scratch on the outer rim of his right behind rim 2,5 cm long and 1 or 2mm width. He was disappointed as his car was brand new and he said that he couldn't prove I did it (I didn't), but he warned me to look out for stuff like this either way. Because if this happened more often I would no longer be allowed to drive the car.
Now tonight I was driving home and I accidentally scratched the car for a fraction of a second to the mini-pavement-thingy they have in the middle of some roadways . I've never hit anything before. I looked and there was a scratch of 6cm length and 2mm width on the outer rim of his left front rim. Obviously I feel terrible.
Now my question is: Do I tell him tomorrow, take my responsibility, tell him I just didn't pay enough attention and tell him I will no longer be driving his car? Or do I not tell him and wait until he finds out.
The reason for asking is: "you really need to focus on that part of the wheel to notice it. So if I tell him he may appreciate my honesty, but now he **knows it's there**. Whereas when I don't tell him he will continue to drive in his awesome car, without the knowledge he has a new scratch on his previously scratchless wheel for another few days, weeks or even months.
What would you car people rather have your son do?
Just to be clear, I want what's best for him, not what's best for me. It's his car, I damaged it, my fault. | dad loves car, I scratch rim of car, option 1 tell him: now he knows it's there. |
t3_3xeowi | relationships | Met my [F23] SO [M28] on social media and doing LDR. Could it work? | So..I met my now BF on social media which started with harmless flirting in the comment sections and before I know it we were talking everyday (texting and facetime)and just enjoyed each others company. We click well and can talk for hours but the problem is we live so far from each other (I live in China and he lives in London) and while I know the chances of this actually working are veryyyyy slim I have a gut feeling telling me to go for it and give it a shot. Am I being completely naive? Or is life about taking crazy chances like these? Has anyone had experience in such a situation? The thing is, while I have been dating, I haven't clicked like this with anyone in so long which is making it so hard to think rationally and forget about it. We have plans to meet for the first time this coming holidays and I'm freaking out. I just need different opinions from people on what you guys think about the whole thing? | met my SO on social media and now in a LDR. Opinions on the whole situation? |
t3_29m1yt | relationships | Close Female Friend [16] with Asshole Friend [17] | For reference, I am 18, male, and everyone in this story is in high school or currently graduating.
The girl is overtly antisocial and seemingly asexual. She is very to herself and generally does not show any interest in guys. She does not have many friends, but is friendly and has good intentions in what she does. I have been good friends with her for almost 2 years but we have talked less and less lately as this has begun.
The asshole friend is well, an asshole. He too does not have many real friends but has actual distasteful qualities, though he is sometimes fine to be around. Narcissistic and complains a lot to receive compliments. A little spoiled.
Lately they have been spending lots of time together. Many have noticed marks on their necks (hickies) and other parts of their bodies (chest, etc.) and suspicions are very high. They have not seriously socialized with anyone outside of themselves in the past few weeks.
Here's the problem - nobody likes it. While that is not a problem per se, I am not sure about how she feels about it or if she knows what is getting into.
What we don't know:
-Whether their relationship is purely physical
-Whether or not it is a legitimate relationship | Close, socially secluded friend now believed to be in relationship with asshole friend. No real facts are known, but it is obvious there is something physical going on. |
t3_13qxu8 | relationship_advice | I (22/f) just called and asked a guy (30/m) out for coffee who doesn't drink alcohol, and he said yes, but I was tipsy while calling and asking. | The title pretty much says it all (and I apologize profusely if this isn't the right forum in which to ask about this), but: I'm pretty interested in this guy, and I want our coffee date to go well, and then, you know, whatever happens after that. I feel bad, though, because I was tipsy when I called him. Should I admit that to him when I meet him for our date? I've not told him yet whether I drink or not, so he presumably has no preconceived notions of my habits. I feel bad withholding that information considering he may have some stance against drinking, but I also don't want to ruin anything pleasant before it begins. | should I tell the guy I'm about to go on a first date with who doesn't drink that I was tipsy when I asked him out? |
t3_gmj8c | relationship_advice | Friends leaving me out. I feel like a middle-schooler. Feeling really shitty and need some advice. | 2 good friends are the culprits. One, we will name Abby and the other is Fran. We are all 21.
Me and Abby have been friends for about 3 years now (college friends). Got really tight, went out together, did a road trip together.
Now me and Fran got really tight about 1.5 years ago. We just clicked and started hanging out every day. Now we live together in a house we share with other girls.
Fran and Abby met through me. Since their first meeting, I had been bending over backwards to get Abby and Fran friendly with each other. Turns out I did too good of a job. Fran turned 21 literally a week ago. But prior to that, Abby and me had gone out to the bars, etc. all the while feeling bad that Fran couldn't join us. Now all of a sudden, Fran and Abby are the duo to be reckoned with. We all hung out earlier today and they were discussing their plans to go out later tonight. I kept silent until Fran asked me "Are you coming?" I hemmed and hawed, because I didn't want to seem too gung-ho about a plan I wasn't even made aware of, and wasn't explicitly invited to. So I said, "I dont know yet but I will let you know"
Hours pass. My boyfriend comes over and we are just hanging out. I go downstairs hours later, assuming Fran didn't go out. Turns out her light is off, etc. so I text her AND Abby: "Did you guys end up going out?" No response from Abby. Fran's response: "Yup! haha. kinda lame though" I respond with "very classy of you ladies."
I am livid right now. I have never been the one to be territorial of my friendships, but I feel highly underappreciated right now. It's as if Fran was just biding her time til she became legal to usurp my friends and Abby has just been mindlessly going along with it, both conveniently forgetting just who introduced them. | my friends met through me and are now doing stuff without inviting me despite the fact that I always made it a point to include everyone. |
t3_39bpeg | relationships | Me [26F] with my husband [31 M] 5 years, possible explanations for the torn wrapper i found on his nightstand | We don't use condoms, though we used to, but even then, it's not a brand we ever used. I found it among the papers and cards he empties from his pockets before bed. It's torn so I can't see the expiration date- it is possible that it's garbage left over from before we met. We've been cleaning out our sheds and he recently got a bunch of stuff from storage from when he was a teen/early twenties, and it wasn't too long ago that I found an unpoened condom from well over five years ago. We even laughed about the obscure brand. But it wasn't the same brand as the torn wrapper I just found. I'm trying really hard to remain objective, but I really can't think of any possible reason he would have this. | Is my husband cheating? |
t3_3b50zi | Advice | Advice for smoking neighbors? | This hasn't been a problem until recently, but for the past few months my apartment has been smelling of cigarette smoke a few days out of the week when I come home. I know my upstairs neighbor smokes, though when I spoke to her about it she claims she 'only smokes outside'. But this is a gross, deep apartment smoke smell, not a passing in the breeze waft. I spoke to my landlord about it, but she says she has called the neighbor who denies it, so won't do anything further. There are only three units in the house, one belonging to me, one to the smoking neighbor and the other my landlord keeps as an office space. She definitely doesn't smoke.
So, reddit, what would you do if it was you? | Cigarette smell seeping into my apartment, upstairs neighbor denies smoking inside and landlord will not pursue further than a phone call. |
t3_336kt0 | relationships | My ex-girlfriend[19F] and I [19M] have been apart for almost two years now and out of the blue she decides that she wants us to talk more, but she has a boyfriend now. Is she worth my time? | My ex-girlfriend and have been broken up for almost two years now. We talk every now and again, but around Christmas of last year, she asks if we could start talking again. Kind of like we did when we were dating. Emotional and personal conversations, rather than the usual small talk. I did a lot of soul searching and I found myself keep coming back to her, so I went along with it. Over the past few month we'd been making plans of doing things together again like watching TV shows together, going to movies together, trying new restaurants together. Date-y stuff. She has even started coming to me for emotional support on personal matters again, like getting back together is somewhere in the future.
In a recent conversation, I ask her about dating again, and she hits me with the fact that she now has a boyfriend. Which brought up a lot of questions rather than a little heartbreak, which is what I was expecting, but it didn't happen. During our relationship, she would always talk to other guys, claiming that they were just friends, which was totally understandable, seeing as though none of them have ever dated. But I'm her ex-boyfriend, her first love and all (we dated for a year and a half and I was the first guy she ever said "I love you" to), and she's coming back to me to talk and she has a boyfriend. I still get late night texts from her regarding late night thoughts, and things we used to do when we dated still come up.
When I asked her about going out again, she told me "I can't right now. Possibly in the future, yes. But not right now. We'll see where it goes." So something is sending off a red flag that either things between them isn't so great, or she may be unemotionally involved. I'm just very confused as to what I should do at this point. Whether she's worth my time or not, honestly. | Ex-girlfriend of two years wants to start talking again and we start getting into emotionally deep conversations and making plans for technically future dates like getting back together is definitely in the future, but she now has a boyfriend that I'm now learning about. Is she worth my time? |
t3_2tkhx3 | relationship_advice | My (28F) boyfriend (32M) wants to donate sperm to his friends | My boyfriend and I have been in a three-year relationship and have been talking extensively about spending the rest of our lives together. Today, he informed me that in the past year, he's been discussing the possibility of donating his sperm to a lesbian couple he knows with the couple. He decided he wants to move ahead with the arrangement and be involved in the child's life somehow.
I am in shock and I feel extremely uncomfortable, anxious, sad, and angry about this. My boyfriend never brought this up or asked how I felt about this arrangement. I don't know who this couple is and I've never met them, and yet I feel they may be a part of the rest of my life, along with their child. When I told my boyfriend I was very uncomfortable about this, he attacked me and said I was close-minded and that I should be proud of him for being kind and being "chosen" by this couple. I'm at a loss for words.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What are the angles I should be approaching this from and what questions should I be thinking about or asking? I feel so lost. | My long-term boyfriend told me he's going to donate sperm to a lesbian couple and wants to have a relationship with the child. I feel very uncomfortable about the situation and don't know what to do next. |
t3_54ijd5 | Advice | Want to stop getting depressed everytime I feel lonely | So basically I just moved in to college in a new state with no one from my high school going here. School's been going on for 2 weeks now and I have made a couple friends. Also I recently joined a lot of clubs (most of them haven't actually started yet though), so I don't think my problem is necessarily how to stop being lonely, bc I've been working on that and I know it'll get better over time.
My real big issue is that everytime I feel lonely (basically the weekends bc I'm not seeing people in class) I get super depressed about it. It's really annoying and frustrating that I can't just enjoy time by myself. Back in high school I loved alone time. Obviously I don't want to always feel lonely, but when I'm done hanging out with friends and go back to my dorm, I wish I didn't get depressed about being alone.
Also, the girl that I feel is my closest friend I've made here (I'm M btw), I'm really into her. I've already asked her out and got rejected, and I know it's ok, that stuff happens. But it really sucks hanging out with her and her friends and they talk about guys she's into infront of me. Obviously I still really dig her, but she's not into me, and I can't just cut her off bc she's probably the best friend I have here. So I guess that's another thing I need advice for. Tbh I've been having girl troubles for like years now. I think I'm decent looking and most people consider me a funny and kind guy. I just don't know why I never have luck with this stuff.
So if anyone has advice that'd be awesome. Thanks in advance! | how can I enjoy time alone without getting depressed from loneliness AND what do I do if my only close friend as of now is the girl who rejected me but I still have feelings for |
t3_2yxm0y | relationships | I [20/f] am confident about myself inside and out, yet can't help getting jealous in my relationship with my s/o [20/F]. How much flexibility is too much? | We've been seeing each other for a few months. When we became exclusive she continued to be involved with others and essentially cheated. I found it in myself to forgive her (my own reasons and personal choice).
We are the typical deeply in love bunch and everything seems great. I am attractive and have a good personality to match. I give her great sex (trust me), food, love and devotion but try to allow her a respectable amount of personal freedom and space. (I'm not just making this up).
I mostly don't worry because I am secure of myself but she is hyper-sexed and always has other females and bodies on her mind. She is always crushing on internet babes (most of which I offer the same or better).
I feel like my qualities and actions become redundant and honestly it hurts sometimes.
To give her some credit, I know that she loves me and is absolutely interested in having me in her life. I sometimes communicate concerns and she just apologizes and tries to fix the issue. I feel that I should stop trying to change her and remove myself from the situation if I have to.
I would appreciate some insight. Am I being silly? (She loves me and adores me like no one has before). Should I care about internet nudes if I know I'm the real thing and more? Am I going to encounter this anywhere I go? (I have been in other relationships, including long term with a male)
What would you do? | I'm the bomb. S/o cherishes me yet always crushing/flirting/porn-ing. Should I care? |
t3_2uy5yy | tifu | TIFU by Skype-chatting with my gf. | So, earlier I was Skyping with my gf. Everything was going well. We've been dating about a month and I think she's about to show me some skin for the first time! It's been a rough road; she's told me all about how she likes big black tattooed guys with bandannas like me, but won't tell her mom. So you can see the level of trust here.
Anyway, she's about to show me her boobs when her mom walks in topless! She immediately freaks out, but I can see it in her eyes. She wants me. I love the daughter but the mom is like looking into her future! And she ages like fine wine. | Almost saw gf topless, mom walked in topless, now can't decide who I want more. |
t3_2mgi6c | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [24M] 8 months. I think the "honeymoon" period is ending and I'm scared. | Okay, I know this is silly but I'm inexperienced so I'm looking for some opinions.
Short backstory: we've been together around 8 months. This is his first relationship, and my second. He's a wonderful person and the relationship has been amazing so far. However, I think for him the honeymoon period might be ending. He seems less into me lately whereas I'm still really quite infatuated with him and that makes me feel really nervous and scared about our future. In my previous relationship the eight month mark was where the cracks started to show - my ex stopped putting as much effort into the relationship, I felt rejected and like I was the one carrying it so I eventually stopped trying also. I really don't want that to happen this time. I care so much about my boyfriend, it would kill me to lose him. For example, I probably tell my boyfriend every day that I love him and the reasons why I do. And he has sort of stopped reciprocating that now. We used to do so many nice/cute things for each other, now it feels like it's mostly me doing it. I'm having deja vu at the moment because this is exactly what happened last time. Am I overreacting by feeling upset and rejected? Is it normal for the romance to start dying off around this point? That there's less effort put into the relationship by one or both parties? Should I just accept that this is what happens in longer term relationships, or should I try to address it with my boyfriend?
*Apologies also for any grammar mistakes, English is my second language :-) | Boyfriend seems to be less interested in our relationship these days and the romance has died off a bit. Is it stupid for me to be upset by this? Is this normal in longer term relationships? Should I accept it or talk to him about it? |
t3_oixkb | BreakUps | Should I press the issue of fidelity? [Update] | Me and GF of 6 1/2 years are calling it quits. She's 24, I'm 30. Some of the back story here.
Anyways, at this point it is fairly mutual. I still love her dearly, but I am willing to let her go. However, I have come across info that leads me to believe that there was probably somebody else. I suspect that if she didn't cheat on me physically she was probably doing it emotionally.
With the relationship ending and her moving out in a few weeks should I press the fidelity issue? Its eating me up inside, but I want to keep it amicable over these last few days. Should I push for answers or let it go? | Good as broken up. Suspect some cheating. Should I press issue? |
t3_3zosto | relationships | Me [21M] with my mom [51F] makes fun of my height and it's making me resent her a lot and I feel guilty about it | I know am not a perfect human being and I haven't being a good son,(I've told my mom very hurtful things at times) but the past month I've being taking care of my mom because she couldn't walk on her own because of a stroke. A PT had shown me how to hold her as we walked and she'd always make fun of my height. I couldn't leave her so I just took it but everyday the hate in me grew and grew. I've gotten to the point where I just want to leave home and cut off my ties and never talk to her again but I can't because I have no issues with my other family. She always makes fun of my height in front of her friends and when I tell her that I don't like it she just ignores me.
I actually think I hate her and I am feeling guilty about it cause she has always provided for me and never refused to support me but she digs into me about it and there's nothing I can do about being short. I have no problem being 5'4 but I think she does so that's why I want to cut off all ties when I leave because if she can't love me with something I can't control then there is no use trying to change her.
She also says she has a problem with me being quiet but when I talk to her she acts aloof. She likes to direct me when I'm doing simple things and micromanaging me and when I tell her to stop she refuses. I've even shouted at her and told her hurtful things that I later regret but I don't know what else to do because she doesn't listen to me when I tell her my concerns. I feel bad that I hate her because she has done a lot for me and I don't like shouting and saying hurtful things. Like I said she isn't a bad person and this long rant shouldn't shape your opinion of her ,(she even helped out a girl who has family issues and treats people really well)but she is really hurting my self esteem and when I confront her she doesn't even acknowledge my frustrations. | I want to get far away from my mom for my mental health and self esteem but I don't want to hurt her or my other family members. |
t3_2tybjq | relationship_advice | Client hitting on me knowing I'm in a relationship with someone | I'm a massage therapist and I had a client recently hit on me.
During the massage we were talking and I mentioned I have a boyfriend. A few days later my boss texts him asking how the massage went. He thought she was me and asked me out. She let me read over the texts and he mentioned he knew I was dating someone but we could still go out anyway.
Me (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) haven't been dating long but we've been best friends for five years. I would never go after another man but I also don't want to lose a client. | A client of mine hit on me and asked me out knowing I'm with someone but I don't want to lose business or risk my relationship |
t3_1thxen | relationships | Me [23M] Why couldnt it be easier? [23F] | Hey am a guy of 23 years old and has Asperger's.
Lives in a home for people with various problems fixed with own apartments.
It works so clearly the staff here and after 2 years so have a wonderful woman starts working here , same age as me - sick nice, beautiful , funny and easy to talk to and be around with.
It is the perfect man for a person like me.
Every time she calls I get quite warm the body and do not know what to say and feel just so darn wonderful.
The problem is that she's one of the staff .. it's so hard to distinguish whether she is just nice as staff or not.
I would do anything for her but I do not even know what she thinks about people with autism. Maybe she is just nice and just want to have it so but I have a hard time saying no to how my body feels. Have even tried to convince myself that she and I will never meet outside her job...never become friends .. never ..
Have just felt like this one once before so the feeling is wonderful but difficult to know that it is in vain.
What the hell should you be me for ? why you could not just born normal .. Merry Christmas.. | M 23 crush on F23 - M23 got Aspergers F23 works where M23 lives. |
t3_4im4kk | dating_advice | We had a great first date (M22, she's F22), but then I tried texting her today and she got very short with me | The past week, we were texting a lot, having great convos, she occasionally initiating, overall it seemed promising. Then Friday I took her out for drinks and after we went to a vintage arcade for a half hour. My impression was we each had a great time, and at the end of the date, we hugged and she held it for a while, I def thought there was "something there". Then I made the mistake of not kissing her and ofc immediately regretted it.
When I got home, I texted her that I had a great time, she responded in kind, and we mostly left it at that. The next two days for me were very busy, because I moved Saturday and then Sunday was mothers day. So we didn't talk all weekend which I thought was fine, I knew she was busy over the weekend too.
Then I tried texting her this morning, and while she responded she was very short and went into no detail. I responded with something that in retrospect feels stupid because I really wanted to get a convo going. But that was at like 9am and so far no response.
I def made a mistake texting her in the morning like I did, because we each work and so I chose a bad time. But now it's been all day and the convo is dead. Which I'm fine with, don't need to text all day every day, but I really would love a second date because I thought we hit it off.
But now I feel like I've killed our conversational momentum for today and that texting her again after she didn't answer me earlier (~9am) would seem needy. Does anybody have insight? Should I wait a day or two to text her again? Follow up tonight? Goddammit girls stress me out | Had what I thought was a great date Friday, but didn't end w a kiss. After a busy weekend of not talking, I tried texting her today and she was very short with me. Did I screw up? |
t3_47y0fh | dating_advice | Can't seem to get her alone. | Hey I'm 15m and I've been talking to this cute girl in my driver's ed class for about a week now. I've been texting here about every other day for short conversations. She has a lot of friends that are guys and usually goes up to them or her girl friends in driver's ed. The only time I can seem to talk to her in school is on the bus ride home (she's on my bus). She never chooses to sit with me in the morning despite me having a 3-seater to myself. I can only have these short conversations on the ride home when I move my seat after the other students already exited the bus. Oddly enough though she seems to enjoy having conversations with me as she laughs and smiles while we rant together about something that happened in the day. I'd love to be able to talk to her more. Help me out! I'm done with being shy. | Can only talk to my crush for very short periods because she's never alone. |
t3_4qn58w | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [33 M] finally broke up after a year and a half | So, after much courage needed, about a few weeks ago I broke up with him.
Oh man, it was like a sigh of relief. I felt pretty good. I didn't let him down hard, I wasn't an asshole.
And neither was he.
He took it so well but I could see the moment I broke his heart. He told me that if I changed my mind I could tell him and depending the circumstances that we would get back together.
But I don't want to. Although, I can't help but feel so bad.
Every time I see him, I want to say "I'm sorry" and take him back. I can't stand seeing people sad because of me. But I don't want to. I know that once we get back, first few months are total fun but then after a while I'm back to square one. He just looks kinda down and has stopped frequenting where we volunteer.
I don't know how to shake off the feeling. Did I make a mistake? Did I end a relationship with an actually nice guy who loved me?
Please, tell me this feeling of regret will pass. I'm in this weird conflict that "fuck, I fucked it up" and "this is amazing".
Though, I think I know where it is coming from. Ever since high school I have been in relationships. I guess I'm not used to being on my own. And I fear that I will get lonely and seek him out only for selfish reasons.
But all I know is that it's over. For now. And I hope I don't do anything stupid.
Thank you all for your encouraging comments. Really helped me a lot. | A few weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend and now I'm scared I'll cave in and get back together with him even though deep down I don't want to but also wondering if I fucked this up. |
t3_meh95 | AskReddit | What kinds of things should I say to an Army recruiter? | I'm going to see an army recruiter later today. I know to take what they say with a grain of salt, and I understand the risks of joining the Army. (United States Army, by the way.) I figure I'll probably go into the reserves, because I'm currently in community college and have a part time job. But I was wondering, reddit, what should I ask the recruiter? What should I make sure is in my contract? I don't want to sign my life away, and end up regretting it a couple years down the road because I could have gotten a much better deal.
I would say that I'm relatively smart, compared to a typical infantry recruit (based on what others have told me.) But I'm also pretty interested in trying out infantry. But my concern is that if I ended up wanting to make the military my permanent career, that I'd get little money for doing infantry. Is it possible for me to go from infantry, to officer school? I was told that I'll lose my personality if I did infantry, also. I'm somewhat shy, but pretty calm and jokey if you get to know me. Is that something that would definitely be hammered out of my personality?
I'm also very interested in chemistry and science, but I heard people in the chemistry MOS get screwed in the Army. Apparently they end up mowing lawns all the time or something.
It's all just completely unexplored territory, but this is something I've wanted to do for years now. I've got a couple of friends currently in the reserves too. One of them says their unit has a lot of room open for more people. What are the chances that I'd be able to get into his unit? Would it matter if I was part of his unit (meaning: would I never see him if he was in my unit anyway?)
I know I probably structured this all strangely. I'm sorry about that. Any help, or advice would be appreciated. If you're still even reading, you're already exceeding my wildest expectations. Thank you. | Joining Army Reserves. Talking to a recruiter today. What should I ask him? Is there any way to improve my time in the Army? I'm interested in chemistry, being an officer, but I also would like to try infantry for a while. Is that possible? Also, what are the chances I'd be able to join a friend's unit? Or would I probably never see him anyway? |
t3_3ascsb | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Ex-SO [20 F] 8 Months, need help coping with a break-up | My SO and I broke up recently becasue she did not have the same priorities for our relationship as much as I did. She really cared about me and (as much as IO know about it) I beleive I love her but w are just at different places in our lives.
I understand that since we are in different places of our lives having a relatiomnship is not healthy because the lack of attenion I receive hurts me and the guilt she feels for not being as dedicated as I am hurts her but it doesn't ,ake the end of the relationship any less painful.
In fact if I could find a reason to dislike her it might make it easier to move on but I still feel very strongly for her and I am having trouble copiong with the break up.
I am currently using drinking to dull the pain and I know it is unhealthy but it is the only thing I can find that works. I need tips to help me move forwartd because I really am grasping at straws here. | How do you cope with losing someone who was really important to you? |
t3_3ysn0m | relationships | My [26F] friend [26F] is in an abusive relationship with her bf [27M?] of 6 months. What should i do? | So my friend has been dating this guy, practically living with him for six months. She left her bf of 2 years to be with this dude. He's still technically married, has a daughter of a year and a half, and is nothing like her. She's creative and independent. He's a dud.
I told her i didn't think it was a good idea for them to start seeing each other since he's still married (and her brother's girlfriend's brother). She sees him any way (w/e i'm not dating him).
I start hanging out around him. He makes jokes about hitting her, looks through her phone, isolates her from her friends. He pouts every time she hangs out with her friends without him.
He's manipulative and emotionally abusive. I'm scared for her and I've explained how I feel about him. She doesn't listen, and says she's in love with him. But if she's in love with him, why does she tell us how awful he is? | Friend's bf is an emotionally abusive jerk and I'm scared for her. What should I do? |
t3_27981q | relationships | I [20 M] need help interpreting behaviour by [19 F]. | I need advice on what to do about a situation involving myself and an old friend from high school. Here's what went down:
Me and some friends went out to the bar in my hometown last weekend. I was relatively sober. Ran into a female friend from high school who I used to have quite the little crush on. Now, I hadn't really seen or talked to her for ~2 years, but from social media I knew that she had a boyfriend.
Anyways, we start talking and it's very clear to me that she is more than a little inebriated. While I'm not the best interpreter of how drunk a girl is, it seemed to me that she still had a firm hold of all her faculties and was able to hold a solid conversation and she wasn't stumbling around everywhere. Now, very soon in the time I had been talking to her, she was all over me - getting real close to me and touching and flirting. According to my friends that I was with, it was blatantly clear that she was into me.
I was skeptical, because I knew she had a boyfriend and she was also drunk. However, she started talking about how shitty her relationship is and how she used to have a crush on me in high school and a bunch of not subtle things like that. She then dragged me out onto the d-floor to dance. She was really getting into it, and I think she wanted me to kiss her, but I refrained because she was drunk and I wasn't. Eventually her friends (who were her ride home) came and told her that they were leaving, so she told me goodbye and hugged me. I told her to text me and she said that she would.
She still has not texted me. So how should I interpret this? Was she just drunk and lashing out at her boyfriend? Or was it a case of "sober thoughts are drunk actions" and she's actually interested in me? Any advice is appreciated! | Girl that I went to high school with was really drunk and hitting on me, even though she has a boyfriend. What's the deal? |
t3_z0shr | AskReddit | What is SkipWatch? Any apartment leasing/management people on Reddit? | Has anyone ever heard of this? I am trying to get an apartment, but my app. got denied based on a balance they said was owed to a previous apt. about 4 years ago. I am almost 100% sure that I had no balance owed to anyone. I finished my lease and moved on. Never got any notice from them about owing a balance.
My leasing agent gave me a number to Lexis Nexis which told me about the red flag on the "Skip Watch" thing, but no one can seem to tell me how to get it off of there. All it says is Apt. Complex Name/Balance owed. I called the old place and they told me a balance... W/o going into details about that argument, I said fine how do I go about taking care of this. They gave me the number to a collections company that they sent all of their owed balances too. Called them up and they have no record at all for me.
So now I am talking in circles with the screening company, my old apt. complex, the new one, and they all keep telling me to call the others... I need to be moved in by the end of next week, and this is extremely frustrating.
Oh, by the way. the notice on skip watch says I owe a balance that is half of what the old apt. complex is saying.... So, don't know what is up there. | Trying to get an apt. On SkipWatch. How the fuck do I get it off of there.... |
t3_3ovuuw | Advice | I'd like to be more involved in the reddit community. What steps should I take? | I wasn't even entirely sure what subreddit to post this in, as it got removed for 'askreddit', but I feel discouraged from even posting due to all the specific rules of reddit.
I in no way mean to complain about the structure of reddit; I understand it is necessary for reddit to function smoothly. But sometimes I really feel like I need to take a college course on Reddit's rules and regulations before attempting to post any sort of content. I have attempted to post multiple times in different subreddits and I often get automated, moderator notifications listing a plethora of reasons my post could have been taken down.
Does anyone have suggestions on how to understand/simplify 'proper reddit etiquette', or pages that may help alleviate my confusion? Becuase I honestly feel as though reddit can be this sort of clique that you have to know inside information about before you can actively participate. | I don't understand the rules and etiquette of reddit, but I'd like to participate more and stop being another 'lurker'. |
t3_lg4v0 | AskReddit | What's the biggest injustice you experienced at school? | When I was in year 8 (UK school, age 13) I was in the second set out of about 6 for English, and there were too many people in the group. The teacher did a test to see who was good/bad enough to get dropped. I came 6th out of 30 students and I was the one that got dropped because my "attitude to work" score was about as low as it could be. (Attitude to work score was given by my school to show you how hard you were working and how seriously you were taking the subject. Out of the 10 or so subjects I had 4 that were the highest possible score and 4 the lowest. My attitude to the subject mostly hinged on my teachers) My mom then phoned up the school and guilt tripped them into putting me back, like a boss. I'm pretty sure the teachers in the English department hated me from then on. | Dropped a set in English class because attitude to work was shoddy despite grades being good. Mom sorted it out, like a boss. Put them teachers in their places. |
t3_3hd1yb | relationships | Me [23 F] with hooking up, do I tell them I've never had an orgasm? | I came out of a long term relationship 5 months ago, and have been involved in the dating game, as I didn't date before my previous relationship. I've hooked up with a few guys, not one night stands, and I feel the need to tell them I've never had an orgasm. I like to think it's polite to let them know so they aren't going at it forever not knowing if it'll happen or not. I also feel like they try a little bit harder because they want to be the one to do it haha.
Is this something I should continue telling future partners, or is it unnecessary? | I've never had an orgasm, should I tell my sexual partners or is it unnecessary? |
t3_1uidl6 | relationships | My (17 M) girlfriend (16 F) calls other guys her Husband | Sorry if this questions sounds rather immature, but I just wanted someone elses opinion.
My girlfriend calls several of her guy friends her husband and they call her their wife. Is this unusual? I've never heard from any of my friends about their girlfriends doing this before, but I can't be sure if this is a pretty thing common or not. It makes me a little uncomfortable but It really isn't the end of the world.
I've never seen how she acts around the guys she calls her husbands because she usually hangs with them when shes at camp or up skiing and I'm not there, but I know about it because a guy I sort of know is one of those guys and he told me that my girlfriend is his wife jokingly one day. She also calls some female friends of hers her wife so it's not like it's only restricted to guys.
Obviously communication is important in a relationship, and I'll probably talk to her about how it makes me uncomfortable, but I wanted an outside opinion about it as well, sort of to decide how I want to approach it.
Thoughts? | Girlfriend calls several guy friends "Husband" and they call her "Wife", is it a common thing? |
t3_1xbre3 | relationships | Me [17 M] with [17 F] I can't bring myself to kiss her. Shy guy here. | I'm in junior year of high school and I ended up going out with the girl of my dreams. We both just completely love each other and we've been going out for one week officially, but we've had dates before for over a month when we weren't officially going out.
I come over her house A LOT (Even before we were officially dating) to do just anything. We cuddle a lot and what not, but when she is looking right at me where I can just kiss her. I just freeze and can't do it. I was going to ask if I could kiss her, but that's not the way to go. I feel like a part of me dies when I have the chance to kiss her, but I just can't seem to do it.
I never kissed any girl before and never had a girlfriend. She knows this, but didn't say anything about it. How do I build the confidence to kiss her? Should I just peck her lips? When is the best time to do this? | Going out with a girl officially for a week (Known her longer than that). Never had a girlfriend or kiss before so I freeze when I have the chance to kiss. How and what should I do about this? Best approach? |
t3_3q2in9 | relationships | My [23 F] fiance just left me [22 M] and told me she didn't love me after 6 years. | 3 days ago my fiance and partner for 6 years just left me and suddenly started dating another guy 1 day after we break up. She told me she didnt love me and hasn't for a long time, the weird thing was she didnt let of to it. It hit blind sided the hell out of me.
Come today i find out shes dating her co-worker who i suspected was the man she was now dating. She claims she never cheated and didnt plan on leaving me for him. But i really think its bullshit, i mean she lied to me about loving me for years, how is lying about having a plan so crazy?
Im just venting and im really fucking angry/sad/upset everything.
Also this all comes after i just got on anti-depressant/anti-anxiety and am getting my emotions all in order. | Fiance left me after 6 years, told me she didnt love me, and is now dating her co-worker. How the hell do i deal with this everyone? Im really lost here... |
t3_4qqix1 | relationships | My [18F] friend [18F] is being abused by her mother, what can I do? | We're both at school for one more day, and my friend (call her Hope) lives abroad so I won't be able to see her or do anything for a long time. It turns out that her mum has been emotionally and physically abusing her the entire time we've been at school together (5 years) and I only found out a few weeks ago. Needless to say I'm feeling like a pretty poor friend. I won't go into details of the abuse for anonymity but her mother criticises her almost constantly and causes her injury in public and in private. At one point Hope called the police because she was scared for her brothers life. That hopefully gives an idea of what's going on.
I've offered Hope a place to stay whenever she needs it, however since she lives in a different country this is probably not that helpful. I've also made it clear that she can talk to me about any of it and i won't judge her (she finds it humiliating and is more worried about people judging her than her mum). However, I'm still frightened for her, especially since her mum has made it clear that she intends to stay in Hope's life indefinitely (she wants to move in with her after university). Unfortunately Hope comes from a culture where looking after your parents is practically mandatory.
I don't know what I can do given that Hope is 18 and leaving school tomorrow. She apparently has small bruises on her arm and is obviously different around her mum. Reddit, what can I do to help? I'd like to keep her trust but I'd also like to keep her safe. Both would be ideal but I know that's unlikely. | friend is being abused, I want to help but she's 18 and I don't know what I can do. |
t3_2r6k7g | legaladvice | [UT] I was caught partying underage on New Years in my college apartment, help is appreciated. | The following takes place in Orem, Utah. I'm 18 years old.
My friends and I were celebrating new years, a bit of drinking, a lot of smoking at my college apartment, around 3-4 AM the RA knocks on the door saying he smells weed and alcohol. There isn't supposed to be any alcohol or even tobacco on the premises, and that was outlined in my lease. The RA sees a few empty beer cans on our kitchen counter and walks straight in, tells us to gather all of the contraband and set it on the table while he calls the police, my friends immediately split, leaving me alone with the RA, two 30 racks of beer, and a tiny bit of weed as well as my bong. The police show up, search our house, confiscate everything and I end up with a paraphernalia and alcohol tickets. After I get my ticket, the RA's explain to me that I'll be given a notice to meet with the resident director of my apartment complex, and that I'll probably be evicted.
I've yet to receive that notice, or meet with the director, but is there anything I can do? I can't afford to pay off the rest of my contract by any means, and if I get an eviction on my record, It'll make it literal hell trying to find another apartment, won't it?
I realize that I broke the rules, and have earned my punishment, but I'm honestly in way over my head, and I'm honestly freaking out a bit. Any help is obviously appreciated. Thanks. | I'm probably going to be evicted from my apartment for celebrating the new year. |
t3_32ir8a | legaladvice | [Ontario, Canada] Not allowed to collect my stuff after a break up? Told to go to civil court. | Tonight I drove over to my now ex-girlfriends apartment with the intent of collecting the few things I had at her place. One of the things I had left there was a router I purchased with my credit card, for me, since she did not own one. I gave her the option to either e-mail me the cost of the router, or I would take it with me along with the rest of my few possessions. She freaked out about it and said I couldn't take it and that she wouldn't pay me for it. So I unplugged it and that's where shit hit the fan. She pushed me down and was trying to grab it from my hands, scratching at me for it, etc. Regular stuff. At no point in this situation did I lay my hands on her. Eventually she called an ex of hers to come to her apartment to "help" and "have me removed" She started screaming and telling me to leave. Which I calmly said I would do, once I had my stuff together. (She did allow me into her apartment.) Eventually after much struggling to collect the router, and her ex on the way to her apartment I said I was going to phone the police, which I did. She threw my router into a bedroom and would not let me in the door. The woman on the phone (911) said it would be best to wait outside, so out I went. After giving my statement to the police they said I was not allowed to take my router, and that I would have to take her to civil court to try and get it back. But the other items I was allowed to take without an issue? This is where my question is. Why is the router considered a purchase for "the house" when I do not live there, and I purchased it? It is mine, but she has been allowed to keep it unless I try to take her to claim court for it? Is there another way besides that?
Sorry if my post isn't written how they normally are in this subreddit. It's my first time visiting here. | police wouldn't let me collect an item even though it is mine, and told me if I want my stuff back I would have to go to civil court. |
t3_3aqodr | tifu | TIFU by reclining on a couch with a new kitten | This didn't happen today, but a while ago. I'm in high school for clarification.
So my family had just gotten a kitten. That week in fact. We have a couch with recliners for seats and the kitten had been getting in there all week, so we had to be careful to make sure she wasn't in there. We also have another cat. The cat and kitten weren't really used to each other yet, so the cat sometimes hissed and started fights with the kitten.
So there I was, on one of the recliners when the cat comes up and starts hissing in the direction of the recliner. Now, last I saw the kitten was behind the couch. Not thinking there was any danger involved, I slid the recliner down to stop the cat from hissing. All I heard was a very loud meow. I then had to go about retrieving a dead kitten with a broken neck from underneath the couch. Oh and tell my parents and siblings about the incident. | new kitten + reclining couch = awkward phone calls to parents and siblings |
t3_2l4d4s | relationships | Me [19M] with my co-worker [20F] friends for 6 months, worth trying for more? | Short story; I've been working with a girl for the past few months. We had lots of hours together during the summer and became friends then, nothing more than friends though. Summer ended, and we have very few hours together now as we're both away at different colleges.
We talk on snapchat/facebook regularly enough still though.
A month passes without me seeing her, and then I randomly meet her out one night. We didn't have much time together as our friend groups were going different places, but the 20 odd minutes we spent together she was very hands on. Lots of hugging, hand holding, arm rubbing etc. We talked for a lot, she told me "she wanted to go out properly with me" (I think she meant out with me and other people).
I think it's kind of obvious she's into me, but things would be pretty bad if I was wrong.
The place where we work is a small local place, only about 10 people work there, and everyone is very close. If things go sour, everybody will know, and things will be awkward for most people around us.
So, best way to approach the situation? Also worth pointing out that she doesn't attend the same college as me (though we live in the same town), but she does come to the one I attend often enough as she has other friends here that she visits. | worth the risk of awkwardness at work? |
t3_13vv32 | offmychest | Just got into my first car accident, had a perfect driving record before this. | On my way to class this morning (female college senior here), a car up front (about 5 cars away from me) slamed on the brakes and made an illegal left turn, and all the cars behind that car, including my car, had to slam on the brakes to avoid crushes. However, my car did not come to a complete stop and ended up rear ending the car in front of me. No one was hurt, there was no damage to the car in front of me, but the front of my car got damaged pretty badly.
After we pulled over the girl told me it wasn't my fault, and we both got on the phone with our parents since neither of us was sure what to do 'cause neither of us have had accidents nor ever been pulled over before. We ended up calling the police, and the girl and I had a really nice chat while waiting for the results. She was really nice and all, which made the process seemed way smoother.
However, I drive a really nice car and I am now worried about the cost of fixing my car, my parents told me to go get a quote to see how much money is needed to fix the car; I am emotionally stressed because it is kinda right before finals, and I had just decided to quit my part-time job next semester; my parents will probably help me to cover the costs, but I feel really bad to ask for that and I'm stressed since I'm pretty sure the insurance will skyrocket after this...
Not sure what I'm gonna do from here, just wanted to get this off my chest so I can recover faster and get ready for finals and somehow pay back my parents. | my car got damaged in an accident and it's gonna cost probably quite a bit to fix it, it is my first car accident, so I am emotionally and financially stressed. |
t3_10mcv9 | relationship_advice | [27/f] Should my mother still be paying my travel expenses? | My mom left when I was about 6 years old. Since then, her and her husband have lived all over the country. She's typically always paid for travel expenses, but in the past few years it's become my responsibility.
Now I'm starting to get a little bitter about bearing the brunt of these costs to see her. First off, when she left, she took my dad to the cleaners and that included my college fund (so I paid for college--Dad helped a whole lot, but I still have loans). In addition, she's never paid for any major costs--medical, food, shelter, clothing, classes or activities, etc.--my entire life. Those were all my Dad which he did willingly and without complaint (well, minimal complaint about her lack of a contribution).
My mother and her husband lead a very comfortable life. They've traveled around the world and their homes, while not exorbitant, are very nice. They go out often and enjoy a rich social life.
She started insisting I go halve-sies when I was in college. Now it's become my full responsibility. I make 35K a year and live in a major city that's not cheap, and I have loans and medical expenses to pay off. Is it unfair of me to expect her to either travel to me to see me, or pay for my ticket to see her? Now she's moving to a place where it's typically $600-700 round trip and no way can I afford that.
This Xmas I compromised and told her I'd take the (18 hour) train ride to come see her, because it will be in a city where my grandparents live and I want to see them. I asked her to pay for half (like, $100) and she's being weird about it.
Advice? | Mom is insisting I pay to see her, but she's never covered any costs for squirting me out. Who should pay for travel? |
t3_4hakb7 | relationships | My [21f] Friend [22f] Hit My Boyfriend [21m], Now Wants Me to Apologize | We had a small get together at our place last night, I don't drink, but mostly everyone else was but not to the point of being totally drunk either. I have this one friend who was there and she can be argumentative a lot of the time and she was trying to pick a verbal fight with my boyfriend and he was kind of ignoring her which made her angry, so she hit him. Like flat out punched him in the face, right in front of me. I slapped her in the face and sort of grabbed her by the hair while escorting her out the door and told her she wasn't welcome there anymore, so she had to walk home when I was supposed to give her a ride. I did feel guilty about it and I swear I am the least confrontational person ever and have never been in a fight before, and she is way bigger and stronger than me, I was just so pissed off and it was a split second reaction. She started texting me swearing at me and telling me to come outside and fight her, to which I didn't respond, now this morning she's texting me saying how horrible it was of me to make her walk home after agreeing to give her a ride, how terrible it was to slap her and pull her hair, how what she did was okay because she was drinking but I wasn't so I don't have an excuse, and how she wants me to meet up with her and apologize for what I did. I haven't replied yet and I don't know what to say. I do feel kind of guilty about it but I don't think I owe her an apology because I think what she did was way worse and I think most people would've reacted similarly in my shoes. What's your opinion and what should I do, should I apologize? Who's in the wrong? | We had a get together at my house, my friend was mouthing off to my boyfriend, he ignored her, she hit him, I slapped her and escorted her out of our house, she started texting me saying she wants to fight me, now today she's demanding I apologize. |
t3_43e2gr | relationship_advice | [16/m] Recently found out a friend of mine [16/f] likes me, but i'm still not sure if i like someone else | I was recently told by a mutual friend that a girl likes me (i don't think she knows). My problem is that i'm unsure if i like her back, as well as whether or not i still have a crush on another girl (she kissed someone else in front of me, and i was surprisingly careless). In the time i've known her, my crush has had two relationships (1 minor and 1 more serious), so i might have to accept that i'm not a priority for her relationship-wise. Because the other girl likes me, she talks to me a lot. Therefore, i'm afraid i'm confusing the happiness i get from talking to a girl with feelings for her (i haven't really talked to any girls in the past). Also, i feel like i keep accidentally sending her signals.
Note: We all go to the danish equivalent of a boarding school, which means i see them almost all of the time every day. | Girl likes me, unsure if i like her back. Also not sure if i like someone else. |
t3_3d8o5a | relationships | Me [20M] and three other students [20M, 20F, 19F] feel awkward sharing lunch with South African workers [29M, 31M, 33M, 48M] [Non-Romantic] | I am part of a group of four 19-20 year old university students helping to build an open-air community filter factory in rural South Africa. The four of us are middle class Americans here on a research grant, and the factory is being paid for by a nonprofit affiliated with our university.
We have paid a builder to construct the office, and 2-3 other guys around 30 years old often help out during the day.
We arrive around 8:30AM so are hungry for lunch around 12PM. We normally bring the basic ingredients for PB&J with us and drive to a nearby gas station to eat the sandwiches. We do this because sharing is a strong cultural value they have here, especially with food. Until now, our gas station trips haven't been a big deal.
The first day, the workers asked us to bring lunch for them the next day. Realizing that would set a precedent, we contacted our community partner, who told us we didn't need to do that since it was not our job to provide them with food.
Today (1 week in, 3 weeks left), we didn't have much work since the materials had not arrived for construction. When one of us told the guys that we were going to the gas station for lunch, one of them tried to come with us and another asked us to buy them a loaf of bread. We felt terrible declining both of them and were quite awkward about the whole situation.
How should we tell them that we are taking our lunch break on days when there is no work to do? Is it unethical to not provide them with cheap lunch ingredients (some of the men are volunteers and get paid nothing for their labor)? We feel that we are already providing a lot for them in helping to build the filter factory and paying for all of its construction. Are we obligated to do these other small tasks for them? Any suggestions on our situation would greatly be appreciated. | Helping build an open air filter factory in South Africa and the workers are asking for small favors. Are we obligated to fulfill their wishes? |
t3_29a3h3 | relationships | 23M, questions about what is appropriate etiquette for letting other males touch/flirt w/my GF | My 20F GF is really attractive and gets lots of male attention.
The other day her best guy friend (besides myself) kissed her on the cheek in front of me. It really made me uncomfortable and I considered it to be flirtatious.
She goes over to his house and drinks hard liquor w/ him and his GF. I was ok with this until I learned he had cheated on his GF before. Hard liquor really makes me uncomfortable as its often used to loosen women up.
Also I am not to sure how to deal with other men complimenting her in front of me. We were at the beach and this guy we had never met walked by and said "nice dress" and checked my GF out. He apologized to me as he walked away. | I am not sure what to do/how to handle it when my attractive GF gets male attention, verbal and or physical. |
t3_rggwm | AskReddit | A question for those with no money | So I'm a senior in college and due to the recent decline in work for the construction industry, I got laid off my full time job. Because of this, I was forced to get a job delivering pizza for 20 hours a week. Not even close to the amount of money I was making at my previous job.
Recently I was sitting on my porch thinking. I hadn't eaten in about a day and a half because I have 50 cents to my name. (Gas prices are killing me). My neighbor was outside cutting his lawn. He saw me out there and made a comment about how much he hated doing it and I said I would do it for him. He happily obliged and offered me a six pack, I told him to keep his beer and I'd do it for dinner. So I got a meal for mowing his lawn. | I have no money so I mowed the neighbors lawn for dinner. |
t3_yhsl8 | AskReddit | Reddit, I need help figuring out why my brain goes haywire? | I may not be putting this in the right place, but its the first one I thought of. I have no idea how to start this, so I'll just explain what goes on and then go from there.
Every so often my brain decides to go haywire and speed up my thoughts but slow down everything else. I am the only one that notices it as it only makes things appear faster and slower. It lasts for about three minutes usually, and as far as I know, there is no trigger. Below is an example of what happens:
I'm sitting at my computer, everything fine and dandy, when suddenly it is as if someone is fast forwarding my thoughts and every sound I hear. I am still able to understand everything, but its at a speed of about 10x normal. Simultaneously, every movement I or anyone else makes seems to be in slow motion. When talking, I feel like the words are coming out before my mouth can even form them. After a few minutes, it goes away without a trace.
I've never told anyone about this before, because it is really hard to explain and barely ever happens. But in the past month, it has occurred four times, once while I was driving. This is starting to worry me a bit. Can someone please shed some light on what I hope is nothing to worry about? | My brain will randomly speed up my thoughts/hearing and slow down any movement at the same time. What is going on? |
t3_34rgye | relationships | Post LTR dating. Am I [M25] doing it right? | It's been a few months since my LTR GF [25F] and I [25M] ended things. We were together 3 years. It was not a happy ending, we had been circling the drain, she was being manipulative, I was being a pushover, lots of late night fights and her threatening to break up while I was the one fighting for it to work. Long story short, we ended things and I did no contact, and I've been going strong (proud of myself for that!)
Thing is, it's been awhile since I've dated. Tinder is now a thing and my life is going into top speed with getting ready to graduate and getting my career lined up.
Soon after the break up, I hooked up with a friend of a friend [22F]. Mid-sex she tells me I'm her first. We dance around the idea of dating each other, but since she's in an accelerated degree program, she can't give me nearly the time I need. She does want to be FWBs (full penetration ;) though. I'm cool with that.
Fast-forward to last Friday, I go on a date set up by a friend. This girl [24F] is so my type. Weird like me, a college grad working near me, and a total babe. My friend told me that she was "innocent", whatever that means.
My Q is this. I like the idea of FWB with the 22 year old, but I get along with the 24 year old better, plus she would be able to give me the attention required for a relationship. Stay casual for awhile? Juggle? Choose one? My gut reaction is just to play it cool and let them determine how things go and just go along with the ride(s) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | What should I do when I'm into a couple different girls, who offer very different things for me? |
t3_2hbd8d | Parenting | Science Only: Pesticides and Food Coloring | So, I was looking at [another post] where a mother was having difficulty getting cooperation from her relatives enforcing a diet without food coloring.
Believing that the mother's dietary concerns were irrational, I set out to find some research to debunk any claims about medical risks associated with FDA-approved food coloring and pesticides. To my great surprise, I found what appears to be credible science [legitimizing some of her concerns] and [the one about pesticides] seemed particularly compelling.
Up until this point, I'd hear of parents going organic, but I dismissed it as frivolous over-protectiveness. Now I find myself quite unexpectedly considering if there may be genuine health risks associated with both food-coloring *and* pesticides, and feel the need for a remedial crash-course in the subject.
I'd appreciate it if some parents who're more familiar with this subject than I am, could provide some insight. I'm pretty much starting from scratch here, and I'm not familiar with what substances are most suspected of harmful side-effects or the validity and scientific basis for any of these claims. | What's the science relating to health consequences of pesticides and food coloring? |
t3_1qipqc | dogs | Dog won't stop crying, refuses to sleep inside when it's freezing. How do I make him stop? | My childhood dog is thirteen and has primarily been an outside dog (my parent's choice). In the winter and when it starts to get REALLY cold, we always let him into the garage. It's a lot more heated and we put him his bed with lots of blankets. It doesn't compare to the COLD freezing temperature outside right now (40 degrees) and the chilly winds. Every winter, he lets us know when it is getting cold and runs inside the house and into the heated garage and even in the morning, he refuses to come outside cause he is so warm inside.
For the first time in 13 years, he REFUSES to sleep inside. The other day, the temperature dropped significantly so we let him into the garage and he CRIED for HOURS and scratched the door / wouldn't let us sleep, so we let him OUTSIDE and he went to sleep in his bed/doghouse without saying a word. Today it is supposed to drop to 30 degrees and we can't let him sleep outside, so we let him in and he refused to step in, so we relaxed him and put him in the warm bed. It's been about an hour and he won't stop scratching the door asking to be let out. It is going to be freezing tonight (under 30 degrees) and since he's an older dog, we can't let him sleep outside... but he also does not want to be inside the garage. Why is he refusing to sleep there for the first time when he's never complained?
I will say that we also tried at one point to let him sleep in the laundry room with his bed/water and he BARKED for hours (worse!). Idk what to do at this point.. I don't want him to spend the whole night crying, but I can't let him freeze either.
Also, there is always that person which suggests something drastic like giving him away and those replies will be IGNORED so please do not waste your time. He's 13 and has been with us since he was 1 month old. Again - don't waste your time. And again, we tried to let him sleep indoors and he refused so all who suggest that didn't read the paragraph above. | Dog refuses to sleep inside when it's freezing cold for the first time in 13 years; can't let him sleep outside when it is this cold but don't want him to cry the whole night. |
t3_36k086 | offmychest | I'm not sure if I took the cowards way out, but I remain confident I did the right thing. | I do need this off my chest.
Girl and me who sparked straight away with each other have had the most glorious of fall outs. Long story very short we meet 4 weeks ago, connected immediately the day after, had a great night in a bar where we finally kissed and said all the things we've been meaning to say, got awkward after she stayed at mine (non-sexually may I add, live with my parents place added into that too...) since we were kissing, hugging and all that usual carry on while out that night and when staying at mine. What? We're adults? It's not meant to be awkward, it's very normal.
So now a week on she talks to me about meeting up with boys. She knows I'm now very much into her, as she confessed to me about herself. We hadn't been acting affectionate since her staying. She then discusses the dillema of whether to meet up with a married guy cause his wife is away for the weekend. My stomach was turning, stayed strong as I fucking hate confrontation over certain issues...and I was driving. Let it all out on Facebook chat. All of it. All the leading on, all the false hope, her disgusting idea to knowingly share a bed with an adulterous person...and to fucking tell me. Should have said it to her face. Regret that.
Now she's blocked me on Facebook and requested I delete her number on my phone.
There may be grammar and spelling/Engrish mistakes in here. I typed this with phenomenal fury. Cheers dudes. I'm going to stick around here even though I haven't read a single post yet!! | Your fairly standard annoyance by a male about a female I suppose. |
t3_2n6tn7 | relationships | People keep saying My (f24) boyfriend (m25) is ugly, and it's getting me down. | My friends and family keep telling me I'm too good for my new boyfriend, they keep asking why I'm with him and it's really getting to me.
I've been friends with him a long time and I never fancied him until we got together one night and pretty much stayed together. He's lovely, sweet, kind funny and we have a lot in common.
I'm fairly average and plain. I'm not ugly but I'm definitely not pretty. I'm fairly skinny.
He's very nerdy, and very typical looking, quite overweight, glasses beard etc.
I wouldn't say he's handsome but when it comes to sex it's amazing and I and attracted to him.
Even his friends keep asking why I'm with him and it's really upsetting me. I realise he's not "handsom" but it makes me feel bad because I really like him and he's so lovely it upsets me that people say this stuff. I don't know what to do. | my family and friends say my boyfriends ugly and I'm too good for him to the point It's really upsetting me and getting to me and I don't know what to do |
t3_rpm6t | AskReddit | I'm standing at a crossroads. Can I get your advice? | Recently the company I work for, Walgreen's, has taken anti-staff policies. While they've seen fit to give their president a 36% raise (nearly two million), Walgreens has slashed hours left and right for pharmacy technicians and the floor crew while eliminating the assistant manager positions in favor of a lower-paying position with the same role.
For two years, I have worked toward the assistant manager position. I gained a degree in teaching, a field that I found myself to not enjoy. When the economy fell into the recession and I proved unable to get a job, I joined the company in order to just get food on the table. When I learned of the ability to advance, the money that could be made, and found myself actually enjoying my job, I threw myself into my work.
I've gone from a cashier to a store team lead, a step below becoming an assistant manager. Until the positions were slashed, I was filling the role of an assistant manager, waiting for my promotion. I've learned every role, from managing photography to becoming nationally licensed as a pharmacy technician, in order to make my advance.
Now my dream has fallen apart. I've applied for jobs elsewhere, but I don't know what to do. I sure as hell don't know where to start. I've even put in applications for teaching positions just so I can make a better life for my family (my mother and younger brother). They've been relying on me for so long and I feel like I've let them down.
If you can give any pointers or advice, I would be eternally grateful. I need to find a new direction for my life. | Walgreen's slashed their workers and I'm wandering in the aftermath. |
t3_3yt8zo | relationships | I [22 F] have a bf [26 M] who I recently found out he is passive aggressive and always plays victim, how do I snap him out of it? | we have been together for 2 and a half years now and we have gone through a lot together. But sometimes when he gets angry he gives me the silent treatment and its very complicated to talk about serious stuff like our relationship problems, because he just plays the victim. I am aware I cannot change him, but my therapist told me that if I started being more assertive and setting more boundaries he would start to change a little around me because he would see I don't tolerate certain behaviours. The thing is I don't exactly know how to do that.
Today for example I told him hey, I just wanted to tell you that it makes me feel ignored when I text you and I see u read it but didnt say anything back, I would like it if you say anything for me to know that you are not ignoring me. He send me a sarcastic emoji and I answered that I was just telling him how I felt. And instead of aknowledging his behaviour or sth he just said: why do u wanna be with me if I always do everything wrong? (I usually never critized him if I didnt like something out of fear). So since I felt he was playong victim again I told him I just wanted to get that out so that I wouldnt hold anger inside for that in the future. And he didnt answer, few hours later I asked him about a flight he was taking and he landed and didnt say a word.
Do u guys have any tips to snap these kind of people out of their behaviour? | My bf is passive aggressive and always plays the victim, I know I cant change him but I need some tricks to deal with his behaviour |
t3_2uruty | tifu | TIFU by joking with my friend's grades | So basically, a little bit of backstory before the actual fuck up.
Me and my friends (aged 17-18) joke around a lot with eachother, only because we know that we can all take a joke. That includes racist and religious jokes.
So we had just recieved our mid-term grades and we started getting all worked up. One guy arrived a little later than the rest of us, and I jokingly told him that he got all F's. As soon as that s rolled out of my mouth, everyone got all serious. They told me that I wasn't being funny by making fun of something like that, and that I'm a giant asshole.
This was all a week ago, they all blocked and unfriended me on facebook and refuse to talk to me at school, which they still do today. I don't believe that it's a very long prank they're trying to pull on my, cause we've never done a joke like that which lasted more than a couple of hours, tops. | I lost all my friends by joking about one of them's grades. |
t3_1wvbya | relationships | I [18 M] have feelings for my friend [19 F] who has a boyfriend. I'm not sure how to deal with my feelings and how I can get over her. | I've known her for about half a year now and have slowly developed romantic feelings for her even though I know I shouldn't. She's been in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend for about 5 months now.
I want to make it known that all I want for her is to be happy, and I'm glad she's found it with her boyfriend, I just want to be happy myself though. So I'm not trying to break her up or even make any move to let her know that I'm interested even though I suspect if she were single she may have feelings for me as well. What I really need help with is trying to get over her so I can find somebody else and try to be happy.
If you need any more information just shoot me a message and I'd be glad to talk! Thanks in advance! | I have feelings for my friend who has a long distance boyfriend. Looking for advice to get over her |
t3_2kihkh | relationships | Me [21 M] with my [ex 19 F] broke up, plus passing family members. I feel weak, and lost. | Hello Reddit.
My Girlfriend and I of 4 years recently broke up due to growing apart.
We met and talked about what we wanted and where we were going
and decided it would be best to separate. It has been roughly a month
and I have been doing the normal break up stuff. I have been going
to the gym, going out with friends, and have quit all social media. Just taking the time to work on myself.
Everything has slowly been getting a little better but my grandfather
JUST passed and I feel very lost. I feel like calling her to her since its
where I was comfortable but I know it wont help me in the long run. I just feel very alone, even with all of my friends and family support it still feels like a big part of me is missing. She has been with me through 3 deaths in the past year and this will be the first one without her support. I honestly feel like a giant baby and I should be stronger to deal with all of this.
Any advice or something I can do that will help with the coping of both situations is appreciated. | I DO NOT WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER. |
t3_32j66o | offmychest | Mother's Death: Investigation Nightmare | My mother's death is under investigation & has been for several weeks now.
Nobody is giving my family or I answers. The detective is lazy & has no compassion for our situation. He said it would only take 2-3 weeks to investigate. He hasn't given us an updated timeline or kept in touch despite it being >3 weeks now. We have to track him down every fucking time we want answers.
There was only one person with her at the time. The PD is still allowing this person to live in my mother's apartment despite the fact that he is in the U.S. on an expired visa & still being married to a different woman in another country. Despite his sketchy stories. Despite the fact that he waited 35 mins to call EMS services after he noticed my mother breathing shallowly. Despite the curious circumstances of my mother's death.
Oh, and now he might be transferring money from her bank accounts to his paypal---because our family can't close any bank accounts---because currently happening investigation = no death cert.
It's awful & I can't concentrate on school at all. It's horrible having a parent die. It's worse when compounded with a shitty investigation & being a clueless 20-something year old. | I'm living in a Game of Thrones x Dateline NBC crossover. |
t3_2u6p3k | relationships | I [21 F] have been avoiding certain sex positions with my boyfriend [24 M] due to my size. | I'm in a fairly new relationship with a really great guy, we've been seeing each other for about 3 months and everything between us is great.
Recently though he's been wanting me to get on top during sex WHICH I honestly would love BUT I'm a larger girl, about a size 16, and I've always been self-concious about my weight and how it would feel for him. So I've been putting it off. People have told me that I wouldn't crush him or anything but I guess I don't have the reassurance I need and I feel like if I did get on top I would be too much or it wouldn't feel good and be super uncomfortable for him. I know i would just be constantly worrying about it. He tells me that he would love it if I got on top as well which makes me feel worse.
Am I being irrational? Has anyone else had this problem with their partners, male or female? Any tips/tricks?I would love some imput! | I'm a size 16 and I'm worried I'll turn off my boyfriend during sex on top due to my weight. Should this be something I should worry about? |
t3_41ji68 | personalfinance | Thinking about getting mint need advice | I have been trying to use an excel spread sheet to keep track of my accounts (savings, checking, and credit card) and am wondering weather mint is a better option. The spread sheet allows me to plan about a month ahead with my paychecks and bills being fairly regular. I'm wondering if mint would allow me to do this without my headaches of not having the spreadsheet mesh perfectly with my account.(I always seem to be off by a dollar or two after a month or so) it would also be nice to see the other information that mint provides in one place. My only concern is the security. I have lifelock(also wondering if this is a good investment) and would this protect me if there was a data breach with mint? | Is mint useful for short and long term planning and would lifelock protect me in the event of a security breach? |
t3_3n42gc | relationships | I [M 20] broke up with my girlfriend [F 20] less than a month back. I'm running out of ways to cope with the breakup and I'm spiralling down into the mess I was earlier. What should I do? | I broke up with my girlfriend of one year less than a month back. I was a mess for about five days, and then I forced myself to push those thoughts back.
I made a lot of lame attempts to get my mind off of her. I went to the gym, I joined Tinder, I maintained my regular "funny guy" persona around my friends. But it can only take me so far.
I fear I've reached the stage where the fact that these are all shallow substitutes has caught up with me. I'm spiralling back into the mess I was.
One way I tried to keep my head above water was to not stay alone with my thoughts. This lead me to constantly ask my friends to make plans, or initiate them myself in order to get out of the house. They've been extremely supportive going by the fact that they think this breakup hasn't affected me too deeply (I haven't brought them up to speed on the wreck I am, just because).
I can sense the fact that they can't hang out so much so often. And I understand that completely. I was hoping for an alternative solution because I feel I'm quickly running out of options. Everything I tried worked well, but only till now. Reality has caught up to me. | Hung out with friends really often to keep my mind off a breakup. I realise it can't go on like that forever. Any other ideas? |
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