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t3_1l35tj | offmychest | Community college is causing me anger and misery | It's my second year. I've met absolutely no one and I feel it's because of the community college environment. I've taken all my classes on campus except for a summer class (because who wants to do that?). This has left me miserable since my boyfriend left to go to college out of state and I have no high school friends because they were all losers so I ignored them.
As for the anger, I am fucking pissed (I'm also fucking pissed that I have no one to talk to about this or to give me any sort of advice or hope) that I can't afford an actual college. I WANT a bachelor degree from a respectable school that's going to get me a good paying job to start with. I HATE community college so damn much and I don't even want to finish if it's not going to take me somewhere career-wise. I can get a bachelor through a partnership program but the thing is I'll only take 11 classes with the partnerships professors and otherwise be stuck with the shit that's community college teaching. I don't want to waste my time in a miserable, shitty environment to end up in a not-so-worth-it-shitty-paying-career. | Community college is a miserable shit hole I wish I could afford real college. |
t3_2xxshf | legaladvice | Not being paid my time. (Michigan) | Hello, first time poster on Reddit, but a friend recommended me here. I'll start off with a little background.
Im 22, working at a newly opened pharmacy, and the owner of this pharmacy is my moms boss, whom she's worked for for over 25 years.
I've been working here for over half a year now, and I'm actually coming up on some major snags that are... Less than pleasing.
Iate 2014, about October or November(I'll check the date if its extremely neccesary) I started working full time here after I had stocked and cleaned the pharmacy up for opening. One of the three bosses here told me to work every day were open (Monday - Saturday), so I was expecting a good 50+ hours a week since we were open 9 hours every day.
I was told to not take breaks, and to stay at the front, so I did that for a few weeks, but when it came time for payday, my boss told me to not add the extra minutes(Or hours in some cases) that I stayed over. I still added them, but he cheated me out of hours regardless.
Its now March, over half a year, and I STILL haven't been given my overtime, though I've mentioned it weekly, and talk to them all the time.
Another issue I have is that I haven't been paid mileage for driving I had done back in November. I have a good 50 miles banked, they mentioned it here and there, but only said they pay 30 cents per mile(that seems low to me).
The last bit of information I have involving my pay and job is that I do things that a normal store clerk wouldn't do. (Finding his taxes on his whole stock, doing tech support on the computers, expected to show initiative, then shunned when I do) | my moms boss is my boss, he hasn't paid me for things he owes me in about half a year. |
t3_2r5lme | relationships | Today I [20F] learned during an argument with my parents [43F] [42M] that I was almost aborted before they got married [20yrs]. Is there anyone in the same boat that has advice on how to feel about this? | Earlier this evening my parents got into a huge argument (I think their marriage is coming to an end soon tbh). During which, my mom (the instigator) tried to pit me against my dad by telling me that he drove her to the city clinic to have me aborted, only for her to decide at the last minute that she didn't want to go through with it.
I honestly don't know how to feel about this right now. The way my mom said it was like she had done me some sort of favor and that my dad is a terrible parent who didn't even want me. The thing is, my dad is a loving father who has always been there for me no matter what. If anything, it's my mom that's been a subpar parent.
Should I feel differently about my dad knowing that he didn't want me to begin with, or should I just be glad that I'm here 20 years later? I don't even know where to begin on how to feel about my mom telling me that as an argumentative weapon. It does make me feel bad though, knowing that my parents tried for both of my younger brothers for months. I knew that I was an "accident," but I didn't know I was unwanted.
Does anybody else have an experience or advice to share with me? I'm feeling pretty lost. I don't know if I should try to talk to my parents about it or not. | My mom told me during a fight that my dad wanted me to be aborted. I'm lost and not sure how to feel about it. Any advice? |
t3_1l5eq8 | relationships | Why do people cheat? (21f) | I was just broken up with by my boyfriend (29m) of 3 1/2 years a couple weeks ago. During the process, I found out that he had serially cheated on me throughout the duration of our relationship. Carried on full relationships with multiple other women, some lasting for many months on end. I know of at least 6, but I don't fool myself into thinking that I know the whole story.
I just can't wrap my head around it. He said that he loved me constantly. I had no idea that any of this was going on. Of course there were red flags, like the fact that he never integrated me into his friend group. He would go hang out with friends until late probably 4 times a week, and I would be invited to join maybe once every few months. Wow, I sound like an idiot. He just always said he felt it was healthier to keep separate friend groups. We saw each other almost every day, talked on the phone for hours while apart, and even lived together for a while. There was no lack of quality time together.
So I realize that I sound naive. But I don't understand how you can look someone in they eyes every day and tell them you love them unconditionally, and be lying to them constantly at the same time. Was he that phenomenal at acting? Why do people do this? Do they like to lie? Do they get off on hurting someone so badly? Do they not think they're doing anything wrong? I don't understand how you could possibly do this to someone to supposedly love. It just seems like pure evil to me. I could never do that to someone. He says he loved me the whole time, and still does. He said he did it because he felt like trapped, but I don't understand that. It's not like we were married or had anything tying us together, he could have left at any time. Why wait until three and a half years in when I'm fully invested? Can anyone help me understand? Meaningless sex I could maybe understand, but full relationships? From my point of view, our relationship was great. We were totally in love, and he told me he felt the same way often. | I don't understand how people can carry on lies on top of lies for so long. |
t3_44rzbu | Advice | I've realized that regular life is not for me | I am 25 y.o with one semester left until my masters in engineering physics, I have realized that I do not want a job with interesting career opportunities.
I've had this dream since I was about 15, that I would go skiing/snowboarding in the Alps while having a simple job. I thought that I would outgrow this dream when I first started my studies, but now I'm getting more depressed each day not living my dream.
The choice should be easy, I should just go live on minimum wage and ski 100+ days a season. The problem is... I'm in a 4 year long relationship that I'm very happy with (she is a careerist though), and a pretty good education would go to waste (Not sure how to combine engineering physics with skiing).
I understand that you cannot have everything in life, and I feel "immature" for just wanting to go fuck life and ski the hell out of it. I'm not sure if the idea with this post is to make random strangers justify my 10 year long dream, felt good to vent at least. | Go live as a ski bum and fuck up my relationship and education, or be a miserable adult? |
t3_yrk4e | AskReddit | Reddit armies unite! One of my good friend's picture of her minor son went viral a year ago and yesterday she found out a company in Brazil is selling it on a t-shirt. What can she do about it? | Someone came across [this picture] on instagram and forwarded it to her. This is her SON (for the record, his first name is Kingston...so really it should say god save the KING). This picture is copyrighted because of all the stupid crap she has gone through. She uploaded it to instagram and facebook last summer and someone uploaded it to pinterest and it went crazy. She has found it entered in contests, as profile pictures for other people, etc. This has crossed the line. She doesn't know what to do because she is in America and this girl is in Brazil.
The girl wearing this shirt wouldn't give her much information she just said it was a company called Lode in Brazil that is selling it. | My good friend's picture of her CHILD is being sold on shirts against her consent in Brazil. Does anyone have any advice on what she can do and/or information on the company selling it? |
t3_2a616m | AskReddit | [Serious] I want to hear inspiring stories. How did you make it from failure to success? | Worked for Six Flags for 2 years. (15 - 16) Worked at a bank (17 - 21 / Teller to Marketing) for five years. (while working the later 2 years at Six Flags - full time, May - October)
Was fired after taking $1,000 to have one last hurrah before killing myself.
Lost job, car, house, savings, 401K, everything. I had to move back home. I lost all ambition.
Worked for Labor Ready and a furniture store during my building period. (first time ever making minimum wage)
I did freelance work and was eventually able to convince my current boss I'm an asset.
Now I'm Director of IT and Marketing for a Law Firm and Consulting Company.
What's your success? This was my | version. If you want anymore details, just ask. |
t3_43j60b | relationships | Me [29 F] with my friend [28 F] 4 years, invited my ex to her party without talking to me about it | I have been really close friends with her for a few years (let's call her Lisa), even calling ourselves best friends. When I broke up with my ex (Carl) a couple of years ago I told both him and my friend that I had no issues with them staying friends. We often had double dates together, and encouraged our boyfriends to become friends.
So when I broke up with Carl (after 9 years) I told both him and Lisa that I had no issues with them staying friendly and hanging out together (they play D&D together), and this doesn't bother me.
However, she recently decided to have a party, a fairly big one, however when I arrived she told me: "oh, I invited Carl, and I purposely didn't tell you. I figured since it would be so many people it didn't matter".
While I understand that she invited basically everyone she knows, I felt like this was something friends usually would talk about before going through with. It's almost as she didn't tell me to make sure I would come, and almost like she wants to embarrass me. Carl was completely aware that I would be there, and I feel like this was a cruel thing for Lisa to do to me. Basically setting me up for a very awkward evening with no chance of being prepared for it.
On the other hand, I haven't been very close with Lisa for the past few months because of how I feel she criticizes and judges me, so we've been drifting apart. However, I still feel it was shitty of her to do what she did. I haven't had the opportunity to talk to her about it yet, but I'm leaning more and more to avoiding her in alone situations.
Side note: both the ex and I are in new relationships, and haven't been in contact for about a year and a half. Also the ex didn't show up to the party due to being "sick" (he has a history of getting "sick" when he has to go to big social gatherings and especially when there is something that will make him anxious). | My friend invited my ex-bf to a party at her house, without talking to me about it first. |
t3_26rmsh | relationships | My GF's [16f] body language is unreadable. | I'm not quite sure if it's just shyness or if she's *testing* my skills as a partner. I've had this problem with women before, some I can read, while some are just boggling to me.
My GF and I have been dating for around 3 weeks now, everything is smooth. Whenever I try to get close to her, it's as if she's purposely thinking of a reason to move away. *Example* - I'll give her a hug, and she'll A. Stay near me or B. Notice one of her friends and run over to them, somewhat ditching me, and giving that *awkward* vibe. I'll blow it off and just walk over to her and stand with her and her friends. I should also mention that I'm a better listener than I am a speaker. When it comes to things to talk about, I'm the silent type. How could I speak to a girl to avoid that? | I don't know if my GF is shy of me, or if she's purposely coming up with reason to avoid my "silence." |
t3_3n64e8 | relationships | [20F] Girls Compliment and Talk to my Boyfriend [20M] infront of Me | I don't know how to say this without seeming pretentious, but my boyfriend's really attractive, and there's been quite a few times where girls have approached him when he's with me. He's super into fashion and most of the comments he receives are on his clothes, it's not like they go up to him and say omg you're hot or anything, but I still feel kind of disrespected by other girls talking to my boyfriend in front of me. I wouldn't go up to some random guy and compliment him when his girlfriend is right next to him. Even if they mean it platonically I think it's kinda wrong. It makes me feel really awkward and I don't know how to react when they say stuff to him, I just feel like I'm the awkward third wheel. Especially if they try carrying on a conversation. We've been dating for a few months and it's starting to make me feel insecure. I don't have confidence issues regarding my appearance, I don't think he is out of my league or something but I do feel like other girls are checking him out in public and I'm not okay with it. Do you think they do it purposely to get under my skin? Don't you assume they would think that it would make me jealous? | Girls compliment and talk to my boyfriend while he's with me, and I don't like it. |
t3_54reuz | relationships | I (25F) want to make sure I'm doing the whole roommate thing right. Moved in with a school friend [28F] and her boyfriend [28M] after living with my mom | So a week ago, I moved in with a school friend about a week ago and want to make sure I handle roommate things right.
I've lived with my mom for the past three years and while I have had roommates in the past, it's been a while. What's your advice/opinion on roommate relations?
The main things on my mind:
- Space: I have a very small room with no closet. There's a small room / large closet that I've taken over, but it's being used as storage for my roommates as well because the official front closet is being used as a room for a cat at the moment (litter box, scratching post, and toys on the floor with empty space above it but some boxes on a top shelf). I'm not sure what the solution is here (if it's possible for me to have that small room all to myself, if the closet can function as both the cat's room but an actual closet (though I'm not sure what to do about the cat smell)... this is kind of a post in itself I guess!)
- Chores: haven't been addressed at all yet. I'm totally willing to clean floors and the bathroom by myself in exchange for reduced rent, but I'm also a fan of everyone pitching in. Not sure how to approach this topic without sounding like a bossy overbearing person. I have a cat allergy so keeping hair swept up is kind of important to me.
- Bills: so her boyfriend is there most of the time but doesn't officially live here. Should he be contributing to the bills? They watch a lot of tv and use the air conditioning fairly regularly. I'm really not sure about the etiquette here but I'm poor and don't want to pay more than what's fair on the bills. But I also don't want to be a douchebag.
Those are the big things that are on my mind, but I feel like there's plenty I haven't thought of so spew some wisdom at me! If I could have formatted this better or posted somewhere else, please let me know. | just went from living with my mom to living with my peers. I want to be a good roommate and communicate well. My only specific issues are related to (kind of shared) space and chores but I'd love any advice on roommate life you can spare. |
t3_4h8r4g | relationships | I (21F) am having doubts about my current education and career path, but I'm in too deep to quit. | Yes, I know people change careers at all ages, but this isn't quite what this is about. Bear with me here.
I go to a very expensive school. It's one of the best in the nation and costs my parents 60k per year for me to attend. We received no financial aid and I didn't get any scholarships. My parents and I had an agreement that they'd pay for the expensive school if I pursued medicine (and if I paid for med school). I agreed, because I was already interested in medicine and I really wanted to go to this school.
Now, as a junior about to take the MCAT, I'm starting to panic. I don't know if I'm cut out for medicine and the huge amount of work involved. I'm not nearly as ambitious as my parents were when they were my age. I'm an English major, and sometimes I daydream about going to graduate school in that field. But what the fuck do you do with such an expensive degree in the liberal arts? Obviously that's not going to work, chances are I'll be unemployed and broke.
Does every pre-med student have these doubts? So many people I know have dropped pre-med and I envy them a little sometimes. But at the same time, I don't want to drop my end of the agreement. And part of me still wants to be a doctor! I think I could do a lot of good in the field.
Any advice? I'm just so lost right now. | I'm starting to doubt if medicine is right for me but I can't change paths. |
t3_1ifiry | relationships | My SO of 2 years [M21] and I [F23] are in very different income brackets. How does one deal with this? | I live off food stamps; he's a one percent-er. We come from very different worlds and pride is deeply ingrained in me--you don't ask people for money and it's not okay for them to offer. He seems to forget that our situations are so discrepant (he did help me with a bill once, but I paid him back right away).
We generally split the cost of dinner, movies, and other things we do together. It's hard on my wallet, honestly, even to go out a couple times a week. However, I would not feel comfortable saying something like, "I can't have dinner with you because I can barely afford boxed macaroni." Awkward. It hasn't gotten that bad yet, but I fear it. I also never want to take advantage of him or make him change his lifestyle.
I plan to be with him for a long time. What do people in this kind of situation, and at what point do you bring it up? | I'm broke as a joke; SO is loaded. How do we split costs while being fair and at what point do I bring it up? |
t3_2715ms | relationships | [21 M] sends me [19 F] mixed signals with a coworker during a get together | Stupid to ask but I'm stumped. A man, "C", who is apparently interested in me and is showing all the signals (spending excessive time at work with me, physical contact, and just wanting to be around me) . Mind you, I just thought he really wanted to be my friend. A friend confirmed my suspicions though.
Anyways, a group of us makes plans on Thursday night. People drop out until it's just me him, and a friend of his "Z", and a mutual friend of ours, "F", hanging. Mind you, I was not about to go but he kept insisting on me coming. It would have been a fine time if it weren't for him completely avoiding contact with me yet getting seriously foolish with F all while I feel Z was thrust upon me as a "date", or wingman meant to distract me. He still talks to me and cracks jokes with me but I feel he is giving me the cold shoulder. There was no physical groping or kissing but they were horsing around and a lot of play fighting. What's going on?
I should probably mention we're all coworkers and C attempts to spend as much time as possible with me.
Is he doing this because he think I have not noticed him? C is known for sticking to one girl, and um, being a little extreme about relationships. He is not exactly the type to have more than one lady at once. | friend is flirting with other friend and sending me mixed signals, yet is interested in me. |
t3_1m8qpe | relationship_advice | [24/f]I'm constantly insecure in my relationship with my boyfriend[31/m] | My boyfriend(31) and I met online in March, we met irl in april and where a couple in no time. He told me he loved me in the may. Hes in the military and im a nurse. I moved to england from ireland for work and apart from my friends, i spend 95% of my time with him. Its become very intense very fast and we've already spoke about marriage etc.
My problem is trust. My parents went through a very messy breakup when i was 8, im an only child and basically tried to hold my parents together. Mum cheated on dad, dad had a nervous breakdown and tried to kill himself, i was his 8yr old counsellor and as he puts it, 'his saviour.' He told me a lot of stuff i never should have heardm especially so young, and has since apolgised, but that stuiff sticks with you. Mums boyfriend who she left dad for cheated on her when i was 14, mum had a nervous breakdown and tried to kill herself. Once again i stepped up and held her together.
Daily I doubt my relationship. I question why my boyfriend is with me, why he loves me, if hes cheating etc. I've tried to breakup with him several times because im scared he'll hurt me so i'd rather get out than get hurt. He won't let me end it, says he understands why I am that way that I am and that he loves me and will support me(he knows all the history.) I also suffer from depression which really doesnt help with my feeling of low self worth and not deserving someone as amazing as him.
Help me reddit, How do you guys just 'be' in a relationhip, without torturing yourself everyday and making yourself crazy with thoughts you don't deserve to be loved? | Im batshit crazy and terrified my boyfriend will leave me, even though he has no reason to. |
t3_fpu6r | self | Anyone else struggle with high blood pressure? | Last month I had some severe chest pains and ended up in the E.R. I guess it was due to dehydration. I drink plenty of fluids though and have no history of anything like this. Anyway, on my doctor follow-up he said I have pretty bad high blood pressure so now I am on a small dose of blood pressure medicine. So for the past month I have dramatically changed my lifestyle. I cut soda/coffee/candy/processed food/etc and implemented more fruits and veggies and whole grain stuff. I also am trying to implement exercise into my life, as in 30 mins walks and overall more active. It's tough but I am staying true to everything. But man, since I have been told about my blood pressure its been rough. I was feeling pretty good once the medicine kicked in but recently my body has been feeling bad again. Just made me want to ask if anyone else struggles or has struggled with high blood pressure.
Also, I have lost some weight and even have been feeling more energy. I am a college freshman so the change is best done early on then later. | Do you have or had high blood pressure and how bad has it etc. |
t3_1m1ujw | relationships | For those who have or have had a passive-agressive SO, how do you handle it? | I've [21F] recently realized that my SO [23M] has developed a passive aggressive behavior. He didn't used to be like this in the beginning of our relationship (we've been together two years), but we've been through a lot so I don't know if this has simply developed over time or if his true colors are starting to show.
He doesn't talk about when something bothers him, or annoys him, or upsets him. When he does, it's in a rude way. Instead he'll act moody, or just act like he doesn't really want me around or want to talk to me and when I ask him what's wrong he simply replies "nothing".
So then I just separate myself from him, and give him space. But it's gotten to the point to where he no longer gives me affection, we barely have sex, and I never know what mood he's going to be in that day. Is he going to be nice and loving this weekend? Or is he going to act distant?
He also has given me the "silent treatment" more times than I remember. We don't live together, so he'll simply ignore me. He won't return my phone call, and won't reply to my text message. (I've gotten to the point to where I'm so used to it, I only call once instead of blowing up his phone and becoming emotional like I used to). I never know when he'll decide to call me back, it always seems like it gets longer and longer every time.
It's weird, because we'll go months without him acting like this. Then all of a sudden, he becomes super distant and I start to feel like I'm being taken for granted and he does shit like give me the silent treatment. In the past, I would have to drive to his house and cry and apologize (for something I didn't even know upset him, something usually very small) for him to talk to me again.
So my question is, for those of you who have/are dealing with a passive aggressive SO, how did you deal with it and/or stop it? | I have realized my SO has developed a very passive-aggressive behavior, and I don't know how to handle it. |
t3_13jl5v | relationship_advice | [21/f] just found out that my father [50/m] cheated on my mother [53/f] | I am so lost. I hope this is the right subreddit. Here goes nothing.
First things first, my brother [15/m], who will be called D, found out about this roughly 7 months ago and decided to tell our brother [17/m], who will be called A, about it a few weeks ago. A in turn told me about it on Saturday. Now, I live about 4 hours away from them, A lives 2 hours away from them and D lives with our parents.
There is solid proof about this because D took a screenshot of a conversation my father had with this lady. I haven't yet found the strength to talk to D about why he was on our fathers facebook. But they want me to talk to our mother. Or father. I don't know.
This means I must go home because this isn't something one can deal with so far away. I know the best thing to do would be to confront my father about it but honestly that scares me because my father can be a very violent person.
I'm just at a loss for what to do. Please help.
P.s. this could be so much longer but i'm tired. I will try and answer any questions you have though. | Father cheated on mother, don't know if mother knows. Father is a violent dick sometimes. |
t3_1gxpm7 | relationships | Me[24/F] with my [26m]SO of almost 2 years, I cheated. | This is very recent, and I am still coming to terms with what I have done. The fact is I cheated on the love of my life, and it is such a blur it feels like it didn't happen. I have told him, he is justifiably outraged and I don't expect him to stay with me, honestly I couldn't let him stay with me for being so awful. I know I have erred, I know that it was me and me alone that threw this relationship out the window, and I am not looking here to and be a weasel, somehow smoke and mirror the situation.
The weight of the guilt that I feel is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I want to somehow tell him how sorry I am, but I know that I don't deserve his attention after doing this. My question is, does anyone have advice for how I can apologize? Should I give him time and space? I'm just lost and so ashamed/angry/heartbroken. | I cheated and would like advice for how to apologize. |
t3_2quw2t | relationships | I [22f] is getting tired of my [23m] boyfriend ex | We have been together little over a year now. Stuff has happened before between us but there's been one thing bothering me from the start. His ex. Usually I don't care about them but this one left a bad impretion. I've gotten rid of my recent ex, as he asked me too and I took a huge step of getting my 7 year best friend/ex out of my life. I've asked him to get rid of his ex for the name calling, late night phone calls, uncomfortable situations at hang out and inappropriate invites of just them too. She has moved on FINALLY and has a new boyfriend but during this year she's put stress and uncomfortable feeling in this relationship. Is it wrong that I want her out of our lives? I believe I'm asking the same as he did of me but he seemed to ignore the times I've asked and blow it off. Now seeing them talking from time to time and what not is starting to really bother me. Am I still stuck in high school and should get over it or is this a serious situation I need to fix? | he knows how I feel and says he will get her out of our lifes but he still does it all the time. Its like what I say and feel goes in the ear and out the other. I just don't know what the right thing to do about this anymore. |
t3_1jig80 | legaladvice | From USA - Question about South Africa hotel policies | To make a long story short, I had a reservation at a hotel. Then I had to change it to the next week. And then I had to change it to the week after that (all these changes happened within a few days. stuff kept coming up, etc. etc.). The hotel has a 7 day advance cancellation policy. After the second changed date, I actually needed to go ahead and cancel it altogether. Luckily, the newest reservation date was more than 7 days away, so I thought I was all set. When I talked to the hotel about why I never received a reimbursement for my reservation, they said that I had changed my reservation too many times for me to get a refund. If I had changed it once, and then cancelled, I would receive the money. But since it was twice, I will receive no refund. It was actually a lotttt of money to spend at the hotel, so I really wanted the refund back. I spoke with the hotel and said how no where in previous emails or on their website or anywhere does it include that info about :changing too many times and not getting a refund" --his response was "well, we have different laws in SA than the USA" ..does that make sense that they can just do that? Make a rule but not have it stated anywhere? | hotel won't refund me because of one of their "policies", which isn't stated ANYWHERE. |
t3_1dk5qh | Dogtraining | 1 year old dog very shy around new people, what do I do? | Little background on my dog, we've had him since he was a puppy and bought him from a farmer. About a week after we got him he was attacked by a Jack Russell terrier, ever since then he has been very afraid of new people. Whenever a friend of mine comes over he hides under the nearest thing he can find whether it be chairs, tables, dressers. He does get used to people, not like he is around my mom, sisters, and I but only after manymanymanymany interactions.
I don't know how to fix this behavior but I'm hoping someone on reddit has gone through a similar ordeal. | My dog is afraid of everyone except immediate family and I want to curb this behavior before he reaches adulthood |
t3_480bm2 | relationships | Me [36 M] with my wife [26 M/F] two years, I've got a lie I've been living with for a year plus | Long time, first time. Throwaway because she knows I'm on Reddit.
My wife and I have been married two years, up and down but mostly up. We're still in love and have one child. I'll call my wife Amy.
In December of 2014 I was in the middle of a crappy job and drinking way too much. This lead to fights with my (pregnant at the time) wife and I would sometimes go to bars after work. One of these times I ran into my ex girlfriend Betsy I dated right before my wife. There is no love lost between Betsy and Amy, in fact she hates her. I got with Amy right at the end of my and Betsy's relationship and she was rude to Amy. There were times that I talked to or texted Betsy while my wife and I were together and it became agreed that I'd no longer speak to her.
Well, I do speak to her and end up driving her home and talking more with her there. Nothing physical happened, but I went over again a night or two later. Again, nothing physical and I decided I've no reason to see her again.
Fast forward to summer 2015 and I tell Amy that I saw Betsy at the bar and talked to her. Amy loses it and we have an enormous fight that leads to me going to my sister's for the night. My wife was having panic attacks and I was honestly scared for her. Things got back to normal and I haven't spoken to Betsy (although she has tried to text me and I've since deleted her from my phone)
Hiding the fact that I went to her place weighs on my mind, but I don't know if wanting to tell her is the right move. She deserves to know because she is my wife and should realize how terrible I was to her, but maybe I'm just wanting to get it off my chest. I don't want to hurt her our cause her more anxiety, but I don't know if this is something I take to my grave... | I lied to my wife about the extent I saw my ex. Should I tell her the whole truth or spare her feelings? |
t3_i2apz | AskReddit | What's the hardest you've ever laughed when you shouldn't be laughing? | At my last job, we are all in the break area. There is something like 300 people in this place. The entire company. The security guy is up front, as we had just been hacked and loads of information had been leaked all over the internet and people were going to sue us, etc.
Very, very, very serious situation.
I am sitting in the middle of the room, between my boss and some other woman.
The guy is up front and says:
"These people, we don't know who they are, are jerking off data from our system..."
And for whatever reason, I found this to be the funniest thing I had ever heard.
I coughed very hard, started laughing to myself, bit my lip...but I could not stop laughing. I didn't dare breath, as I knew that I would scream with laughter. Tears are streaming down my face, I am hiccuping with hilarity...I can't fucking stop laughing.
I start to make this squealing noise as I begin to breathe. After two or three minutes, I started to settle down and went mostly unnoticed.
Then I made the mistake at looking across the room and making eye contact with one of my friends. I still don't know why, but this was the final trigger. I busted out with pure, unadulterated laughter and almost threw up from doing so. I could not make myself stop. I literally stood up and ran out of the room, to the stares of a hundred bewildered people. | when did you laugh super hard in a super inappropriate situation. |
t3_4dngbv | dating_advice | Should I ask out my teammate? [30F] [36M] | Hello Reddit! I'll keep this short:
I (30F) know this guy (36M) through a co-ed sport we play together. I have gotten the feeling in the past that he may be interested in something beyond friendship. I've heard from a mutual friend that he's "not a pursuer" and neither am I, generally. But I decided it's best to go after what I want, so I texted him last week, saying that if he ever wanted to hang out outside of the nights we play sports together, I'd be cool with that. I never got a response.
I saw him last night like every Tuesday, and he was more friendly and flirty than usual, but he didn't approach me or pursue anything beyond friendly chatter on the court. Since he's "not a pursuer" I'm wondering if I'm in the clear to explicitly ask HIM out, specifially for a birthday get-together this weekend for a friend of mine. I don't want to make things awkward for us/our teams either, in case he's genuinely not interested. | Interested in a guy who is "not a pursuer" per a mutual friend. Should I ask him out myself? |
t3_21m63z | relationships | Me [25F] with a guy [28M] I've been dating 1 month, wants to keep me out of our social group. Red flag or too soon to tell? | I met this guy through a social group we're in about 6 months ago, we hooked up, then 2 months later started dating. Things picked up pretty quickly. I'm different from any other girl he's dated, he feels comfortable around me, I intrigue him, I'm smarter than him (apparently).
He told me yesterday he doesn't want me to come to some events with him unless it's only his very close friends. He said he just doesn't want people talking bad about us. He also doesn't want to hurt other girls he's recently dated. He is a pretty active member of the group so a lot of people know him. I'm somewhat known, but not nearly as much as him.
We're still really fresh. He said he is still not 100% sure about me, and he said he's not convinced relationships work out. I told him it's okay, no sweat.
Is this a sign he's becoming uninterested and he's just not being straight forward? Is it a red flag? Or am I looking at this too soon? | Guy I've dated for 1 month doesn't want to bring me around our social group to avoid drama with friends and past girls and he's still not sure about us. Red flag or too soon? |
t3_f7ona | AskReddit | How, HOW, do you deal with your mom? | Mine is driving me crazy. I'm a graduate student, she lives about six hours away. We have never had the best relationship (I think we have too similar personalities) but I'm trying. I don't want to not be able to talk to my mom. She wants me to tell her stuff. I want to be there for her with her stuff. (She is single, divorced when I was five, and she recently got laid off. She is working, but for much less pay. She may be getting a new job soon if all works out).
I'm going through some roommate bullshit, trying to move. There is crap going on at school- problems with my registration. I was just offered a part-time job for the semester that becomes full time this summer, which is awesome, but still a little stressful. I broke my ankle a few days ago. If I ever talk to my mom about these things, instead of being the shoulder I am looking to lean on for the duration of the ten minute conversation, she grills me on how I am going to fix these stresses. I'm perfectly capable of doing so, and I am definitely on top of all of them, but she treats me like an idiot. Talking to her just makes me feel awful. Then I feel worse because what kind of terrible person can't stand talking to her own mother?
And we are facebook friends. (Mistake, I know, but I can imagine the shitstorm and how hurt she would be if I de-friended her). So I post one angry status about my roommates and I get a patronizing text message and a novel-length e-mail the next day about how I am going to lose my friends, people won't trust me, I need to find new vents for my anger, I need to suppress my feelings, I should never tell people how I really feel, I need to constantly make awful things positive and I need to grow up.
Probably all true. Sure. Since I am now ranting again, to the internet. Hopefully you guys will still be my friends and tell me HOW you manage to have a successful relationship with your mother. | My mom makes me feel bad about myself (just trying to help) and I'm wondering how you manage a relationship with your mom. Any tips? |
t3_2dnt3w | relationships | I am 30F, with my girlfriend (27f) trying to win arguments for me. She called my manager at work to tell her not to speak to me "like that." | My girlfriend, Amy, is not really all there socially. She thinks she can just say whatever she thinks is the truth and get away with it. Normally she is right, since she is intelligent and researches the things she is going to say. She is straight to the point, loyal, and fun to be around. She just doesn't get things sometimes.
I have been having problems with my manager at work. I am not talking back to her, I know my place on the totem pole. I can be replaced. The manager cannot. I have been there three years, the manager has been there ten. Manager (40s female) is also married into the owner's family, so fuck me if I stand against her.
She has been targetting me for whatever reason and makes me feel like a complete idiot. I come home on the days it happens and I like to tell my girlfriend what happened. I guess I spend maybe five minutes saying she is a bitch, and then we move on. My girlfriend does the same.
Except, I am not sure why, Amy thought it would be appropriate to call and tell the manager off for talking to me like that. Now I have trouble at work and there has been talk of transferring me to another department. Other than the manager at work, I like my job, I am good at it. Now I am being send to the bitch department where there is no creativity. So I either quit a great job or I go to a department I hate.
I am furious at Amy and this could very well be a deal breaker. I am not sure what to do about the whole situation. It is pretty much:
1. Manager vs. me: I am totally going to lose on that one.
2. Three year relationship down the line because I refuse to risk her doing something like this again, which I figure she will.
So, I feel really overwhelmed about the whole thing. Could use some advice. | girlfriend talked to my manager. fucked up my work. |
t3_1owwkr | relationships | How do I [M25] tell my gf [F21] that she needs psychiatric help | I think that my gf [F21] suffers from borderline personality disorder. I've done a lot of research and am in the medical field myself so I believe I may be onto something. That being said, psychological disorders are very complicated, and I am by no means a diagnostician. I would like it if she went and got evaluated herself so she could start getting the help I think she needs. I just don't know how to go about bringing up this sensitive issue, especially since this is a personality disorder. What experience does everyone here have with bringing up a sensitive issue like this to a partner, especially since her mind isn't as receptive as with other people. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. | How do I tell my gf in a positive supporting way that she needs phychiatric help? |
t3_2rf8db | relationships | My [22M] ... ex-girlfriend? [22F] shuts me down every time I try to rekindle our friendship | Using a throwaway and fake names because everyone involved is on reddit pretty often.
I met my girlfriend Betty about two years ago. Not long after we started dating, she introduced me to her friends, one of them being Veronica. Veronica and I ended up becoming really close and (I do regret this part a lot) when Betty and I started having relationship problems I began a sexual relationship with Veronica.
Now here's where I really fucked up. I started telling Veronica that I loved her during our drunken hook ups. She never said it back, so I never thought it was a big deal to her. I figured she knew it was just a heat of the moment/alcohol/sex thing. Then one day, while we were completely sober, she told me she loved me back and wanted to be with me. I turned her down since Betty and I were finally patching things up. That was a year ago, and she still hasn't forgiven me or even talked to me since then.
I'm still with Betty and I really do think she is the girl I'm going to marry. But I think Veronica is one of the best friends I've ever had and I miss her so much it hurts. I've tried several times to get her to talk to me. I've apologized to her. I've told her that Betty knows about the cheating and has forgiven both of us. She never responds, except for one time when she told me she has no interest in being friends again.
I feel like she's being unfair. We really had a special friendship and I'm trying so hard to get it back. Is there anything I can say to her to change her mind? | My former friend that I used to fool around with refuses to talk to me now, despite all my attempts to show her that I only want friendship and that my girlfriend (whom I used to cheat on with this former friend) approves. Is there anything I can do to get her back in my life? |
t3_515gc6 | relationships | I [18m] have never been drunk before | I need your help, /r/relationships.
This is going to sound pathetic but I have just turned 18 and have never got drunk. Never, in my life. I haven't even drank alcohol that much either. It's not because I haven't wanted to, it's just that I've been in a bad place the last couple of years, which involved being severely socially-anxious and unconfident.
I am going to Uni this September, and am worried about Freshers. I am so anxious about it, since most of it involves going to clubs and parties and getting wasted. Everyone else is so excited, but I'm shitting it. I've never got drunk before, but I want to get drunk! I'm just worried that people are going to think I'm fucking nuts and boring when I have no idea what type of alcohol I should be drinking to have fun OR how to handle myself drunk. I'm so worried that I'm totally going to humiliate and embarrass myself, do something like piss myself and totally ruin my reptuation in the first couple of days.
My friends have invited me out this week for "student night" in our local town before we all part ways. I'm even nervous to go to that. My crush is going and I'm so fucking nervous. What if I spill the fact that I am in head over heels for her? Can you believe it? I'm panicking about having fun. Jesus.
I'm worried that anything I do will reflect badly on me. I'm not attractive and I'm not confident, which means I'm a prime target for humiliation.
Help me! How do I learn to just get drunk and have fun without worrying about embarrasment and social anxiety? It's all I'm thinking about and in a moment, I feel like I'm going to cancel my plans this week and be a fucking loner at Uni. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this?
d | Never been drunk before, but going out clubbing this week and going to Uni soon. Totally embarrassed by it and totally worried that I'm going to humilate myself. Help |
t3_172fcu | college | Ways to pay for off-campus housing rent? | I'm going to be graduating high school soon, so am looking deeper into housing and meal options for college. I want to live off-campus because it's much more affordable, and I wouldn't be stuck eating the unhealthy fast food on-campus, which would ultimately cause me to gain weight.
Between scholarship money and a part-time job, I wouldn't make enough to pay each month's rent in full. My parents aren't helping pay for anything, so I'm on my own. Can I take out a student loan to pay for off-campus housing?
I need to get a move-on with housing plans, so I would appreciate if anyone could tell me ways that I could pay for off-campus housing rent. | Will be going to college soon; I want to live off-campus. Between scholarship money and money earned from a part-time job, I wouldn't make enough to pay for each month's rent in full. Can I take out a student loan and use it to pay for off-campus housing rent? What other options are there?*** |
t3_4s0ach | relationships | How can I[23F] get people[various ages, neighbors and acquaintances] to believe I'm not in pain? | My husbands the only one that believes me. I had a c-section just over a year ago(our son started screwing around with his umbilical cord). It wasn't that bad, once the morphine from the operation wore off I didn't even take any painkillers.
People act like I should still be lying in bed. I wear the baby in a back carrier when I take him for walks and people have fits and say that I'm pushing my self and I'll do damage since I still have a new wound(a year isn't new!).
I've even been asked why I'm making myself suffer by not taking any pain killers...because I'm not in pain.
I've told people repeatedly that I'm fully healed and not in any pain. How can I get them to believe me? | C-section was over a year ago, people act like it was yesterday. |
t3_vhu2v | jobs | if you're unemployed, who should(n't) you tell? | disclaimer: i'm finding very few places to ask this on reddit... don't mind if you tell me this is also the wrong place... also, i'm getting laid off (not quitting or getting fired).
i was on the phone with my car insurance company regarding a hike in rates, and explained (essentially) "i understand it looks like smaller payments if i break it down to monthly, but in the long term that's more expensive and i'm going to be unemployed shortly - but i need the car to run legally and inexpensively so i can find a new job." (i live in an area where public transit is not an option and the only things in walking distance won't pay near as much as my current office job.)
upon hanging up, unsolicited advice of **"*don't tell them you're unemployed*"** was given - why the hell not? my credit is awesome, they can check my work history for reliability, but i need someone to understand that i can't pay Y amount when i only have X coming in right now. nevermind the rudeness of your "ear hustling" in the first place... now, if i'm looking for quotes, i'm putting in that i'm employed (because i am, for another week), but i wanted to know if there was anything that could be done with my existing account on that front. i'm not saying i'm doing this with every facet of my life (hell, my doctor tried to help by giving me 3 monthly prescriptions at a time instead of once a month - but the health insurance denied it, must do mail-in, blah blah), but there are a few key ill-timed payments due right now! | who (and why) should (or shouldn't) you tell if you're going to be unemployed for a (theoretical) short term? |
t3_1pl5ge | offmychest | Running into walls every direction I turn | So I just recently graduated with my BS and MS and have been looking for jobs since. Of course, like a responsible person, I started my job search in JUNE of 2012, despite still having 9 months before I would finish my degree. So here I am, 7 months out of school, and still jobless, to the shock of everybody around me. I have heard "What? You still don't have a job? How is that possible?!?" more times than I can even count. It's not like I have a "useless" degree either. I have a degree in engineering. I've had a total of 6 professional interviews at big-name companies, and countless others for local minimum-wage jobs so I can pay my basic bills. I was supposed to have chance 7 in just one week from today, but I woke up this morning to a phone call saying the position had been canceled. Now I'm sitting here hopeless, wondering if I'll ever get a job and be able to pay back my thousands in student loans.
I've been trying so hard to keep my spirits up for so long, and now I just feel like I have completely run out of steam. I don't even know where to start. I honestly don't even see the point of moving forward. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, I can't find my place in this world. Maybe I wasn't meant to have a place in this world. | I'm just another loser who can't find work. |
t3_3lrda7 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [22 F] of a few months is running errands for her ex, and has asked for my help with this | I've been seeing her for a few months, I have good feelings about it but since it's so short-term I can't say I know her that well. She's recently started talking with her ex again, which is OK, i guess, in itself. But he's asked her for a favor; he can't order something online to his location, so he's asked her to be a middle-man and accept the order, then send it to him. It skeeves me out a bit, and now she wants me to take care of the shipping for her because she's busy. I'm ok with the task, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable. am i being taken for a chump? is it normal for them to keep in touch like that?
i know for me to be suspicious is a bit insecure, but i can't help but feel slightly uncomfortable about the whole thing. We're about to become long-distance, and I am concerned about the nature of the relationship. when she visits her hometown, (his current location) will he try to get back together with her? will she be strong enough to refuse? will she want to refuse, if I'm a long way away? Should i reconsider the long-distance status of our relationship?
I know long-distance is not always the most reliable form, but i really like this girl and i want to continue seeing her. I am confident i can move closer within a few short months, but those months will be the period in which she will have gone home. Is it wrong for me to be so insecure about this, and what can i do to reassure myself? is it a bad idea to even try to move back, if i'm not even sure about their status together? | she's keeping in touch and I'm a worry-wart |
t3_3tpgb0 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my dad [59 M]- I don't love him. Is that okay? | I simply don't love my dad. He was never really around when I was little, he never supports anything I love doing, and he constantly tries to get me to do things he can brag to his business associates(he doesn't have any actual friends that aren't in some kind of monetary relationship with him) about.
My parents divorced when I was really little. Mostly because my dad was always away on business and never wanted to spend any time with us. Every time I see him, he makes me feel shitty about myself but I feel an obligation to do what he says because he is my dad. However, I'm pretty sure he is a psychopath. I spend a lot of time trying to do things that will please him, but it always makes me feel depressed in the process.
For example: I tried working for one of his companies and all he did was tell me how I'm too stupid to make a living for myself.
Another example: I live in a city 1000 miles away, working as a gardener supporting myself. He calls me constantly asking me to come home and tells me how stupid I am to be working as a gardener. So I go back home and he tells me that I don't actually like gardening. Apparently I'm just doing it to make him angry (all about him....makes me think he is a psychopath or at the very least, very narcissistic)
He says he loves me, but I don't actually believe him. I love my mom, but not him. People who love you try to make you happy, not feel shitty about yourself and depressed. | Am I allowed to not love my dad? |
t3_45845m | relationships | advice for me [24M] and gf [23F] long distance | I have been dating my girlfriend for almost three months now. We had been talking for about 2 months before we got together. I feel strongly for her, but now we are at a cross roads.
She is originally from a city about 2 hours away from where we live now. All her family is there. She moved here for college and liked the town so decided to stay.
Recently she was diagnosed with a heart condition and has to move back to her hometown. She is going to need a procedure and will take some time to recover. We are both quite worried about what is going on.
I have reassured her that I want to be with her through the whole situation, and that I will do what it takes to make this work long distance. She has stated the same.
However, she has been acting strangely lately. She has quit texting me throughout the day. She's been going out with her friends almost each night, sometimes until 4-5 in the morning. She has also been making strange comments like' "if I were in your situation, I would want to be with someone closer to me, someone who it'd be easier to have a relationship with." We were joking around and I made a comment about me picking her, to which she replied, "for now. Maybe you should change your mind about that."
She also commented that she cares about me a lot, but she is afraid of letting me down. She thinks I am more in to the relationship than she is, which is understandable with what she has going on. She stated that I deserve more.
I understand that she is going through a lot and is worried and concerned about everything. I am worried and concerned as well. I don't want to get in her way of what she has going on, but I want to be here for her at the same time.
Any advice for how to proceed? Should we stay together and try to make the relationship work, take it one step at a time? Am I being selfish? Will I be getting in the way? If we do decide on a long distance relationship through it all, any advice on that, as neither of us have done that before? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Gf moving away for a procedure, advice on if we should stay together/long distance relationship? |
t3_r13hc | relationships | Suddenly turned away... a bit of literal and figurative drama | So I (15) become infatuated with a sixteen-year old girl in my English class, and it's pretty overpowering. I get to know her after being invited to her birthday party and coming over to do school work a few times. She isn't strikingly pretty, but when her and I the connection is palpable, she is truly an interesting individual and her sense of humor fits mine perfectly...
It eventually gets bad enough to make me and my then girlfriend of 18 drift apart. I take what I thought was the best course of action and break things off with her. I felt confident in telling my English classmate that I cared for her after some pretty striking signs from her and the reinforcement of a few of her friends, so I tell her so, she gets red, tells me she feels the same way, etc.
Here's where it gets fucked up: a day later she texts me that she does not want a relationship because of how involved she is in the drama program at our school... I feel like this is certainly something that can be worked around, or there might be other reasons, but she maintains that it could never work because she wouldn't want it getting in the way of drama... What should I do? Any advice is thoroughly appreciated! | Suddenly turned down by crush as to not get in the way of her acting, not sure what to do. |
t3_2mcnx3 | relationships | Can any guys please explain BJs to me? (31F) NSFW! | Wow embarassing, but I'm at a loss. I am very inexperienced sexually. I'm with a new guy (6 months) who I really like. He requests oral (which I'm happy to give). But each time, he pushes my head down kind of forceably and makes me gag.
This seems weird to me. The only other 2 people I've been with never did this at all. Instead of feeling like a loving, sensual act, it ends up with me worrying the whole time that I'm going to vomit (I have a sensitive gag reflex) and I end up with watering eyes etc. It also seems somewhat dangerous -- I can't concentrate (because I basically feel like I'm choking!), and isn't he worried my teeth might scrape him? I'm so confused.
I have watched many porn snippets of blowjobs and the women are not being held down this way. I'm not able to pay the attention to technique that I would like to because I'm trying to breathe. What is this about??? I have told him a couple of times in a playful way that I'm gagging/choking, but he just kind of laughs and says it feels so good. He's not AT ALL inexperienced, so I can only guess I'm not the first woman to be shocked by this. Is this normal?! | Why do some men try to make their partner gag during oral? |
t3_e7v89 | AskReddit | A buddy of mine needs to crash on my couch. My roommates are not a fan of him. Anyone have any suggestions? | My friend just moved to another city and is town for a few days. He asked if he could crash on my couch. I have no problems with this, he is a good dude. However my roommtes are not a fan of him. They have never given a reason but I know they are not. He's never done anything wrong to them, he does come across as sketchy though.
Both roommates are at work and won't be home until after I tell my friend if he can crash or not.
The worst part is I will probably run into him at the bar tonight so not responding will be tough. I'm just hoping he finds a place before I run into him but that might not happen (a lot of my friends have bachelor apartments).
Also, he's always been a really good dude to me and I know if I was in his situation he wouldn't hesitate. I don't think my roommates will listen to this reasoning.
I'm heading out in two hours so I hope someone has an idea | I have a buddy who seems sketchy but really isn't. Needs a place to crash. Roommates are not a fan of him. |
t3_3tzubo | offmychest | Will she say yes? | I (M/18) like a girl (F/17), I don't know how much, but to the point in wich I want to tell her, I would have just asked her out, I have never done that but that's what you are supposed to do, right? But there's a story behind it, like 5 months ago, she told me that she liked me, I told her that I wasn't in the same page as her and that if she had told me that in another moment I would have thought about it. Secretly I liked her but I was involved with another girl at the moment, that girl dumped me and now has another boyfriend, whose a friend of mine btw, but that's another story. Now I realised she was the one I wanted all this time. I mean I have little to no experience in this, but that's what I think, I plan to tell her I like her, in three days she is going to host a party so that's when I will do it, also I will have some alcohol to help. I just want to talk about this all the time but I can't, so it's off my chest... for now. This is a really bad written rant, sorry. | I like a girl, she told me she liked me in the past, does she still like me? I hope |
t3_md8qn | AskReddit | Reddit, what's something that's considered totally acceptable where you live, but you find completely outrageous? | For instance, I grew up in Georgia but am now living in Ohio, and the colloquial rules of the road are a constant source of frustration for me. When a driver in front of me is making a left turn at a single lane intersection (with no left-turn arrow) and has to yield for oncoming traffic, I always wait for them to clear the intersection before passing through. Here, people seem to see a left-turning driver as some sort of obstacle and simply drive around them. Nobody considers it a big deal, if the person in front of you is turning left, you just swerve around them and go straight on.
I have several problems with this. One, it's dangerous. I've seen more mid-intersection collisions here than anywhere else I've lived. Swerving around the car in front of you means you can't see the traffic in the intersection until you are in the intersection, and oncoming traffic can't see you, either. Two, it completely ruins the flow of traffic. When two vehicles approaching from opposite directions are both making left turns, that should be an ideal left-turning situation. You can safely cross the flow of oncoming traffic because the car opposite you is doing the same thing, and both are blocking oncoming traffic for each other. This does not work when people act like vehicles turning left do not exist.
The general lack of even a modicum of patience only exacerbates poor traffic conditions. I've seen people drive up on the curb to get around a backed up line five or six cars deep, *when that line would not exist if people on both sides of traffic did not swerve around other cars to begin with.* And don't get me started on the pervasive "let's turn this two-lane road into twelve lanes because fuck traffic laws, that's why" driving philosophy that everybody but me seems to share.
Anyway, that's one example of something that totally irks me, but is considered the norm here. I'm sure there are a lot of "Citizens of X drive differently than Citizens of Y and this annoys me" stories, but what are some other examples of behavior that is considered perfectly acceptable where you reside, but you personally find atrocious? | Ohio drivers treat people turning left at intersections like second-class citizens. What is something that bothers you about where you live, but everyone else accepts as normal? |
t3_14suvp | relationship_advice | My (F/26) boyfriend(M/31) has a short fuse. | I've been dating this guy for 10 months now. We have a terrific friendship. We have the same sense of humor, love to do the same things, and generally compliment each other. There is just one problem, I constantly walk on egg shells because I know that the tiniest things will set him off, and his way of handling conflict is to yell. If I continue to hold my ground after he yells, he then resorts to telling me to shut up. I don't like to yell. I don't like to fight. I was raised by parents who always talked about their problems instead of fighting. This is what I want. Last night he flew off the handle because he felt I didn't care what he had to say due to the fact that right when he was done talking I put headphones in my ears to watch a short video here on reddit. He says he tried to say something more to me, but I didn't respond, so he started yelling (I never did get to watch it). I sat down on the couch determined to calm him down and deal with things like adults. He told me I was making it worse by talking about it and that I needed to "fuck off."
You guys, I love him. This isn't the kind of relationship I want. Is there a way to approach people with bad tempers so that they will settle down and listen? He has never been violent, never called me names, and I've never felt threatened. I try to admit any faults I have, but that just always seems to allow him to focus on that and not the fact he yells over simple things like me not being interested enough in the meat section at Walmart (yes this happened). | Boyfriend raises his voice over the simplest frustrations. |
t3_31ver8 | personalfinance | I'm worried about identity theft | About 6 months ago I went to a dealership in my town. A smaller "bargain lot" dealer, but they apparently had sister dealerships down the street that sell brand new cars. Well, I was young and stupid. It was going to be my first car and I guess I needed to have this one. No insurance company wanted to give me a reasonable rate. So the car salesman says he knows a guy and can try to give me a reasonable rate. I asked him for a website so it wasn't some joe Shmo, but I feel like he may have just looked up some random website. He ended up calling him and I proceeded to give my information over the phone (yes my social security number as well). He couldn't give me a reasonable rate. In the end I did end up leaving the dealer ship with the car and paying $300 in insurance for a $5,000 car. But when I left I had this sick feeling about giving my social to a random guy over the phone. I have been checking my credit reports weekly and I have taken no hits such as new credit cards, private loan, etc. | I gave my social to a random guy over the phone. No reports on my credit history of anything suspicious. |
t3_10p112 | relationships | I [24m] need help communicating that I just want to be single to my very much overly attached gf [21]. | Obvious, throwaway because gf is redditor. To keep it simple, I feel like I just want to be single. I was married before this relationship (I am divorced now). My ex wife cheated on me and I took it pretty hard.
**I have been with her for just over a year and a half, and I want to stress that I love my current gf to death but I feel like I just need to be single.** I don't think it's fair to her, because I am becoming more and more emotionally unavailable. I really would like to see her with someone who is much more caring than I am. I am a cold person by nature and she is very warm and bubbly.
I just want to let her down as easily as possible. I really want to minimize the emotional trauma that I am about to lay on her. She is a very sweet, and caring girl, and I feel really bad about this.
Additional nots: I have already broken up with her once about this kind of stuff, but we got back together, not really sure why. I also can not see myself marrying her.
Also, I dont want to break up in person because I feel like she will become a train wreck and throw herself at me. Is breaking up over the phone really worse? | Need help letting down my OAG because I just want to be single. Need some outside opinions. Need some words of wisdom to lessen the hurt as she is a very sweet girl who has done nothing wrong to me. |
t3_1muwc3 | relationships | My S/O (36M) cheated on me (26F) after almost 2 years of dating. Broken up as of right now. Thoughts on getting back together | So this week I found out that my boyfriend of two years has had sex twice with a friend of ours. As of right we are not together.
My (now ex) boyfriend has struggled with depression, and some self esteem issues, and the friend who he slept with was recently divorced and told me that she was just looking for the attention. We all work together so it have been an interesting week since I discovered this.
There were other issues in the relationship such as poor communication and lack of physical relationship. We have discussed the possibility of getting back together eventually and what we would have to change to be successful in this. I still have my concerns though.
I wanted to hear from other who have gotten back into relationships with partners who have been unfaithful to them. Were you able to get past the cheating or was it always a problem in the relationship? Did they repeat the cheating again?
Thank you for any experiences or advice you have to share! | boyfriend cheated, possible to get back together and be successful in relationship take two? |
t3_lksxp | AskReddit | Advice on self-improving: how can I make myself less socially awkward? | I am currently a student at a very small college and I have two best friends, but I'm beginning to realize that we are very different and have less and less in common. Not saying that it's a bad thing, but they are very materialistic, and I tend to spend more than I should due to their influence. In other threads many redditors suggest "breaking up" with friends of negative influence. While I believe I could become a better person by not being friends with them (I'm starting to seriously question the morals of one of them), it is such a small school that I would run into them often enough to make things awkward. By the way I don't really have many friends to start with, so if I break things off with them I would be left with literally no one that I can rely on in stressful times. What should I do?
Background: I can and do talk to people for class and club activities. However, I seem to lack the intuition to transition from a person you talk to in class to a friend. I don't know what to do to close that gap. Also, by this point, most groups have already formed, and I find it hard to join such groups of friends. Any general advice?
As a side question, my roommate is a very very nice person, and she would often invite me to hang out with mutual (but much closer to her) friends. I believe in opening myself up by saying yes to social events, but sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't really want me to be there at all, but has asked me out of politeness. Should I still accept her invitations or politely refuse knowing that they would most likely have more fun without me? | refer to title :) |
t3_3cbab2 | relationships | [27m] What could my GF [22f] nonchalantly text a guy in order to get him to spill what actually happened between them on a trip a few months ago? | My GF took a trip a few months ago and after I found evidence in her text history that she cheated, she's claiming that she only kissed two guys, even though it looks like she did more with them.
I want her to text them and allude to the last time they hung out in order to elicit a response as to what actually happened. She obviously doesn't want to do that. Her excuse is that she'll destroy her relationships with them and they've been friends for years.
Anyway, how could she allude to the last time they saw each other over text in a way that I could find out what actually happened? I need to elicit a response in the most nonchalant way possible.
Does anyone have any ideas for me?? This is kind of time sensitive. | My GF took a trip to another state a few months ago and cheated. She claims she only kissed two guys after I found evidence that she did something over her text history. What can she say to them to nonchalantly allude to he last time they met in person in order to find out what actually happened? |
t3_13x5tt | relationships | I'm looking for advice on a rough relationship, going on 3 years, between myself(m18) and a ladyfriend(18) | I dated her a while ago and it was going great, but I slowly became restless and we broke up, from there we've had a rough road;
got back together for a week then broke up, lost touch, started hooking up on a lax basis, that gave her confusing feelings, we tried dating a few more times, at one point I cheated with her on her ex, she has cheated on me, many people know her as a (icky word here), she's hooked up, if not had sex with every single one of my best friends, one being a month or two ago while drunk.
I recently realized I love her, but I also just want to be over her and the pain associated.Also, college is imminent, so there isn't much time left to see much of eachother. I also dont trust her very much. Working on that. | Dated a girl on and off for 3 years during which I've been cheated on, shes messed around with all of my best friends, and I don't trust her much, but I love her; also college is coming up. |
t3_25onok | relationships | Me 24 M with my 23 F for 2 months and I had a previous relationship that ended in suicide...do I tell her? | My last girlfriend killed herself. It was devastating to me, and I still have problems dealing with it to this day. I feel like a failure saying that a girl I dated killed herself, and I couldn't stop it.
Her anniversary is coming up of the day she died ( I don't know if that's called an anniversary) but I feel guilty not telling the girl I've been dating about this.
I also feel like she might see some red flags if I tell her. I believe honesty is the best policy but sometimes giving too much information is a bad thing. What do you think I should do?
Should I tell the girl I've been dating for roughly 2 months about this? I often keep facts like these bottled up because I don't want to make people uncomfortable. You can give me tough criticism, I would honestly appreciate it | suicide from last relationship, do I tell the girl I'm dating about this? |
t3_jl8d0 | AskReddit | What do you think was in my drawer? I need your help! | In my closet I have a 3 drawer plastic storage unit which I keep miscellaneous things. Today I went to look for an auxiliary cord in the middle drawer. When I pulled it out I noticed it was wet, everything was wet. There was about a quarter inch of unknown liquid that smelled rather unpleasant. This storage container has always been in my closet and I went into it roughly a month ago and did not notice anything being wet. I washed everything off and cleaned the container then noticed my nail was bubbling, my guess is that it was some type of acid. The contents of the middle drawer were as follows: digital camera, brass pocket change tray, some fireworks, ipod cord, aux cord, digital camera av cord, old macbook g4 charger, headphones, 15 pieces of paper (bank statements and ikea bed frame instructions), extension cord, purple power bar, ipod firewire, 2 sd cards, memory card reader.
The smell was almost brass smelling and I noticed some discoloration on the brass pocket change tray.
Also, I moved last month on a sunny day where there were no sprinklers. It is also just the middle drawer not the top or bottom.
Please help me think of some possible reasoning for unknown fluid magically appearing in my middle drawer of electronics. | Ostriches measure up to nine feet from head to feet, and weigh as much as 350 pounds. |
t3_3we3co | relationships | Me [35 M] with my wife[30F] 15 years together, after an up & down relationship, last week she suggested that we take Thursday off from work and have a "day date" well it turns out she forgot to ask for the day off. | so just last week my wife & I agreed that we both need to work on our marriage. Over the last 6 six years we haven't really focused on each other because of our kids. so this time we agreed that we would start a date night once a month. and we also agreed that on Thursday (yesterday) we would both ask for the day off at work and have a day date. well last night I asked her if she had asked for the day off, and she told me NO, no i'm sorry, no I'll make it up to you, just "NO." smh. way to get off on the right foot, huh? well since I had already asked for the day off, I just decided to go on a date by myself. last night she asked me why I was mad. I told her because I had planned a whole day for us and she "forgot" to ask for the day off. she kept telling that "how much could I possibly had planned" and I told her that didn't matter, what matter was that I took time to plan, and to request the day off and she didn't. and after all it was HER idea! I guess it doesn't get any worse than this, it probably does. | anyways, what do u guys think, am I making too much of it, is her excuse of "i forgot" good enough? shouldn't she be trying to make it up to me? |
t3_35h8k0 | Advice | In need of girl advice | First time posting here, so I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to post, so let me know if my situation would be better placed elsewhere.
One week ago I was at Freddy's (burger place) with one of my friends and we were just eating, talking, etc. Then this chick that works there walks up to us and asks "how is everything?" and other generic Freddy's employee talk, you know the usual. At this point I had just gotten off of work so I was still in my work uniform (button up shirt, pretty biz casual) so she asks "you look really nice, what's the occasion?" and I just respond "oh I just got off of work." She asks where I work, we have some more small talk, then finally she says "Well I just thought you were really cute and had a really nice smile" (basically something to that effect) and walks away.
This all happens moments before I was about to tell my friend I was with about this incredibly gorgeous girl that was working behind the counter at Freddy's that I was basically going to approach and get her number. But, since this other girl came up to me first, I couldn't go to the other cute girl because that would be really rude, obviously.
Fast forward to yesterday, I went to Freddy's again with some friends. Cute girl is working again (but this time not at the counter, more in the back where she was definitely out of my reach) and the other girl that approached me last time wasn't there. There is this guy that works there (he was also working last time I came) and he came up and was talking to us and was telling us that last time I was there the girl that was into me was just talking about me pretty much her whole shift to him and other employees. He said she just kept on saying how gorgeous I was and stuff to that effect. | Girl says she's into me, I am into a different girl, they work at the same place that I visit weekly(ish). |
t3_2vgzrx | relationships | [Update] Over the last 1&1/2 months my girlfriend (f/18) has spent a lot of money on me (m/20);concerned but don't know how to communicate about it. 9 months. | Original:
I just decided to be direct. Money/gifts/finances are hard to talk about with anyone, especially for me. No amount of sensitivity will fix that. Today after a class we had take-out together at her house, and I just straight up explained what I was thinking in the other post.
I told her that I was raised to believe that all gifts should be reciprocated, and that I just felt like I needed to make sure she understood that I was broke, that I can't buy her a piece of 1k+ jewelry for her birthday or something, even though she probably knew that already. I also said that, though it's none of my business, that I really needed to feel like she wasn't putting herself in financial harm by doing this stuff, because I really care about her. I told her I was worried because it was sudden. I just straight up asked her if she was spending her financial aid money or putting this on a credit card. I said if that's the case I want to give the stuff back to her and maybe we can talk about personal finance.
She gave me the 'Awwww' face, and said her father pays off her credit card every month, and that she isn't in any debt at all. She likes to know someone for at least a year before she spends money on them. She started paying for everything because she actually felt bad going dutch or whatever because she knew I was poor, and there were a lot of times where she wanted to do something with me but knew I couldn't pay for it. She just said "Don't be weird when I spend money on you" and don't tell anyone. | I just decided to be direct. My gf seemed to be pleased that I cared about her enough to ask about this, and told me the situation. All good. |
t3_3le62s | jobs | Evening the Odds: Is there a way to use data to my advantage during my yearly review? | I was listening to this [podcast] by NPR's Planet Money and thinking about how unfair it is trying to negotiate my salary. (Start at 3:07 to understand get directly to the problem: markets with asymmetric information.)
**Long Story:** I went on a few dates a guy working in payroll for a large insurance firm. I had just received an offer after being unemployed for a few months how frustrating it was negotiating my salary with my current employer. He smiled knowingly and shared with me some of the practices large companies like the one he worked for do to artificially hold wages down while staying legal according to the Sherman Antitrust Act. Basically, all large companies apply to receive a "newsletter" from an industry consulting group. This consulting group gets access to the salary information of all its subscribers. That consulting group then publishes all its data to all the companies that subscribe. It breaks down all the data by experience levels in each position type. In other words, when they look at salaries and raises businesses get all the information on industry figures but employees know none of it. I am now about to go into my yearly review. I like my job and I'm thankful to be working. However, not having the same information as my employer is frustrating. I'm wondering if there's a way to get my hands on data so I can better negotiate a pay raise.
**Specific questions**
1) Does anybody work for one of these industry consulting groups or payroll offices? Can you share your experience? (I haven't seen any of these reports on wages in the industry myself.)
2) It seems like industry data should be public or accessible in some way. Does anyone know of a way to see what folks who work similar jobs to me get paid? (The Dept. of Labor stats I found weren't specific enough and I'm worried that sites like Glass Door will be skewed.)
3) Managers out there - is this a misconception on my part? Is there something about the way managers think that I should understand? | When employees (like myself) negotiate pay raises, we often don't have the same information managers do. I'd like any strategies that could help me even the odds. |
t3_2a4uq2 | relationships | Me [27M] with my Girlfriend[28F] 6 months, help getting over her past. | I'm not going to bore you with so many details so I'll get right to the point. How can I stop myself from feeling awkward around my girlfriends past sexual encounters when we hang out with them in group settings or they say hello to each other. I know she loves me and it's way in the past, but why does it still bother me. I plan on seeing a proffessional and everytime I bring it up it turns into her thinking I'm slut shaming her. I don't feel like I am but I have a hard time expressing that it's just weird to me because she will never have to experience it with me. Any help would be appreciated. | How can I get over my girlfriends past sexual experiences when we see them in public? |
t3_14erho | relationship_advice | update: i(m24) met my online girlfriend(f28). | i made the long flight to her. we stayed overnight in a motel. She was hesitant with sex at first, but in the end she was the one asking for it and we fucked. she thinks we're girlfriend/boyfriend now. I kept telling her that i can't guarantee that this will work out.
I was kind of turned off because she had a bit of body and breath odor. It's terrible because i'm extremely paranoid of smelling bad myself and i keep thinking that's a reason why other people don't like me. It's most likely just a delusion but i have an obsession with trying to smell as good as possible. I feel terrible for being turned off by her because I know she has the same paranoid personality that I have and it'll devestate her if she knew that i was turned off becuase she smelled bad. She told me she has that fear too and she tries to shower a lot. But I didn't see her brush... when she came out of the bathroom her breath didn't smell any mintier like it should after brushing...
But i'm just not clicking with her. Our personalities don't really click and i'm just not feeling chemistry. I don't want to hurt her though. She has the same mental issues that i have, except probably at the farther end of the anxiety and depression spectrum. Regardless, I understand her, i see a lot of myself in her, and i want her to get better.
Is there any tactful way I could get out of this and stay as her friend without hurting her feelings? | i had sex with a girl who is in love with me now and thinks we're a couple but i'm not feeling the same way |
t3_1np35v | relationships | Having kids just to please her? A simple question from my girlfriend [27] of two years leads to a self-realization [30M]. | Never thought I would turn here for advice but this conversation shook me. Thanks for reading.
While discussing our future I mentioned that with the cost of college, healthcare, and housing rising we would struggle at our current income to start a family. Unless I can make more money I would be fine never having kids as I don't want the responsibility without having the means to provide a good life.
She asked *what would change if we won the lottery tomorrow?* I replied: "I would say let's GO and have as many as you want".
Instantly she hit me with this: "so kids are just something you would give me to shut me up...you don't really want a family, to create life with me...".
I was floored. She nailed it and *I didn't even think my thought process was weird until she verbalized it.* I always felt kids are something the woman wants and that I get "stuck" with, stuck struggling for and providing for..to make her happy.
Is this a normal view? How do I get over it? I don't mind the idea of having a family but I can't stand the pressure of being responsible for raising another human..being stuck in a job I don't like because I know I have a baby to feed etc..I can think of a million reasons not to have kids and the reasons to do so are mainly because I know she yearns for them; she would be a great mom; she has a finite window; I don't want to die alone etc etc.
Not one of those reasons is because I REALLY want to be a father. Am I weird? Does this mean I should NOT have children? Or do many future fathers start out this way and slowly evolve their thought process? The conversation shook me and I don't know if I'm just wasting her time now. | Suddenly realized I view children as a burden I carry, something I "give" my girlfriend so that she will be happy and stop bugging me for. Is this thought process normal? How do I get over it? |
t3_35b36r | relationships | My(27m) gf(26f) and I have completely different methods of communicating. How do we resolve this? | I'm not sure how well I will be able to explain this but...
Alissa and I have been together for 8years. We were engaged but she called off the wedding three months prior to it. It's been about a year since that date and we have been working on our issues.
So we have noticed that we don't connect during a lot of conversations. She speaks in a very implied manner. Her tone and context matter way more than her words. There are many times when she says something specific but wants the complete opposite to happen.
I am a very very literal person to talk to. I like to choose my words carefully and my tone doesn't change my message. If I say it, even if I sound upset or angry, it is what I want.
Quick example. We bought a new banner for our business and we're trying to hang it where the old one was. I noticed that the hooks in the ceiling won't match up with the new banner. So we need to drill new holes. I told her this and she just said "hang it up" I told her again it won't fit. She repeated herself. I said "do you want me to try anyways?" I sounded annoyed. She said no and walked away. She then got upset with me for not trying anyways. | I'm literal. She figurative. How do we learn to communicate and understand each other? |
t3_1g1g44 | offmychest | You people are not my fucking friends, find somebody else to be your pawn. | Seriously, fuck all of you. You all need fucking therapy and you're a bunch of sperglords with paranoid delusions. I tried to be nice. I was always there if you needed me. You try and use me as a toy. You spy on me, send me walls of text completely chewing me out for things I haven't done. You over examine every fucking detail and action I take and blow it out of context to the point where it sounds completely ridiculous. You would make excellent journalists for tabloid trash. Misquoting, judging, pointing fingers at everybody except yourselves. Watching my every move so you can take it out of proportion and make it more than it really is. Then you have the audacity to tell me I need help and that you're trying to help me by laying into me? Go fuck yourself. If I do need help, it's only because of stress that you people have caused me.
You are all insane. You berate me and tell me that you're watching me so you'll "know if I'm bullshitting". Accusing me of pretending to have a serious health issue for attention is NOT okay. You've seen me take my injections. Making wild allegations with no proof except hear-say is NOT okay. Bullying me and belittling me is NOT okay. Keeping at it when I've told you I'm done with all of you is NOT okay. Contacting me randomly telling me you "know where I've been" like it's something I am not supposed to be doing is NOT okay.
I am glad we all had a giant fight. It opened my eyes to how fucking toxic you all are, and you can enjoy circle jerking and obsessing over me for the rest of your pathetic lives. I don't care. I don't know why I ever wanted to be friends with you people in the first place. You're disgusting. One of you has a shameful secret and you're lucky I don't report you to the cops. I'm done. | dated an autist-in-denial, went psycho, turned everyone against me. |
t3_1h0ke7 | relationships | Me[26M] with my [26F] for over a month, shes all talkative all of a sudden | The funny thing is, she sent me a chat msg on Facebook early Monday morning after we havent spoken all weekend and we normally dont talk that much (well she doesnt), we kept chatting all day, and we had a long phone conversation at night and she wouldnt sleep even though she was soo sleepy she would wait until I ended the conversation, she even said that we should remain in contact likes his, she said shes feeling Excellent today and that she loves life.
What's strange is that, I asked her that I'm a bit surprised as she wasnt this talkative with me before, she said nooo I'm always talkative, but iv been busy and stuff.....likely story as she keeps telling me she's bored at home for the past month....so what just happened?
When I first met her she said she was talking to someone, then I asked what happened, she said she distant herself from him, but I didn't ask why, I said why is ur status on FB still in relationship mode....shes like...come on..who cares its just FB and its easier that way from those hitting on her....or something...
One other thing, is that she said that she's surprised that when I think of her I think of beauty, I said why so surprised, she's like well when you asked me I said.."your hair".... | she wasn't that talkative with me over text/phone and not even for that long period, why'd she become so talkative all of a sudden after a month and so? |
t3_uut4g | AskReddit | On reddit, we are very judgemental of other similar sites. What does reddit really think of our Internet contempories? | I'm talking about the likes of 9gag, 4chan, tumblr and the like.
From what I see of 9gag, it's is a bit juvenile. I don't really see them with much respect. Most of their content seems to be aimed at really young kids, especially with the whole "9gag army" stuff.
4chan... Well I don't think its really that bad. Apart from /b/ and /pol/, most users, well they seem quite similar to most of reddit. From what I have seen, /b/ is mainly crap and the occasional gem. It's similar to browsing the new page of most subreddits. I went on there a short time ago while deciding what to write and they were playing risk!
I have no opinion on tumblr. | 9gag is childish, 4chan is with the exception of /b/ and /pol/ not as bad as everyone thinks. |
t3_23xmyw | self | Realized that I(27M) am boring. | I came to the realization tonight while driving home from hanging out with friends(more like friendly acquaintances) that I am boring. I always feel like a tag along with any group I am with. I don't have any close friends. I was in graduate school until made a stupid mistake that caused me to be dismissed from it. I work two part time jobs just to make ends meet. I dream of working for the National Park Service but every time I apply, I get don't get very far in the USAJobs.gov application process, even though I am qualified for most of the jobs I apply for. I was in the Army for four years but got out wanting to move on with my life. I am shy, not because I am scared, but more because I feel so meh towards people. Comments welcome, I just needed to get this off my shoulders. | life is in neutral, with no end in sight |
t3_363isj | relationships | Would you consider it shallow to break up with someone after dating for 4 years because they no longer have the sex drive they used to? | A little backstory - my bf [26] and I [23, F] have been dating for a little over 4 years. For the first 3 years, I'd say we had sex between 1-3 times a week. The last year, we're lucky if it's every other month that we fool around. I've tried talking to him numerous times about it, with no luck, only the "promise" of "trying harder".
He claims that sex just isn't as important to him as it is to me, but I'd like to think that if you love your partner as much as he says he loves me (and after 4 years and living together for 2 I think it's a lot) you'd want to have sex with them more often than we're having it. So far it's 3 months and counting for this latest dry spell.
I don't know how many more times that I can try and talk this out with him because it hasn't made any difference in the past. He won't even humor the idea of making out like we did when we were first dating! Something so easy and that would take like five minutes seems like too much effort for him.
Has anyone been in a situation like this before? I'm trying to see if I'm not the only one out there who has been, because from when I've talked to my friends (both male and female) they've never had this problem. I'm heartbroken because I don't feel desired any longer and I feel more like a roommate/friend than a girlfriend. He sees where Im having trouble with it all, but he seems to come up with excuses constantly why we don't have sex. Please help me!! | Boyfriend went from having sex with me twice a week for three years to once every few months this last year. Is it shallow for me to be hurt by this and think of breaking up with him because of it? |
t3_2uq7dm | relationships | I [16,M] was told I was taking a "shit test" from this girl [16,F] Please advise! | Before this she gave me every sign in the book she liked me. She was flirting with me like crazy. I hinted that I liked her and then my friend told me she doesn't like me and was just teasing,and how she would never consider going out with me and I need to find someone I "actually have a chance with." She would deny ever flirting with me if I confronted her. I don't know for sure that she said this, but I'm pretty sure.
I was going to ask her out, but now I don't know if I still do or confront her about this. If she said this I feel insulted. Is this a shit test, or just uninterested? What should I do? | Is this a shit test or does she not dig me? |
t3_1tkqrt | relationships | My [F/21] ex-bf [M/25] broke up with me because he is confused about our future, and wants me to wait. Does breaking up and getting back together ever work? | Hello, I dated my ex for about 2.5 years and we were the best of friends prior to that. During the last month of our relationship, I noticed he became a bit distant and texted me less than usual. Other than some fights here and there, I thought we were pretty happy together.
He was the one who brought up marriage, and started planning our future together. We would finish college around the same time and eventually move in. However, when he broke up with me, he said he didn't see those things anymore. I am definitely **not** a firm believer of splitting and getting back together, I just don't think it should work that way.
He made it clear a part of him still wants a future with me, and that he wants me to wait. I have been distancing myself from him ever since. We have only been broken up for 3 weeks but I am not all that sad. I still have my appetite and can sleep well. I havn't cried, unless I talk on the phone with him about it. Part of me does want to move on and see what else is out there, but part of me remembers him saying he is confused and wants me to wait.
We still talk a bit here and there, and when he sees me he is very affectionate. We are spending christmas with his parents, but after that I would like to start moving on with my life. I hate the thought of waiting for someone else, but he is the only person I have ever thought about settling down with. | In a confusing break-up where ex-bf is confused and part of him wants me to wait it out. |
t3_27zhv9 | relationships | Me [24m] and my SO [24f]. Do I confront her about texting or move on? | I've [24m] been dating this wonderful girl of my dreams [24f] for the past 6 months. She's a 10/10 and always have men chasing her. I won't be honest if I said it doesn't bother me at all, but I never show that I am. Instead, I act flattered (which is the right approach when dating beautiful women, i suppose). Most of her friends are guys, which I knew going into this relationship so I've gotten used to that by now.
So the reason I'm posting on reddit today is about last night. She slept over and we were awake till about 1-2 am just hanging out. At around 1 am, she receives multiple texts and start responding to them. After she responds, she sets her phone down on the bed where it is clearly visible to both of us. When she gets another text, I can see that it was from this dude that has been chasing her for quite some time now. She keeps responding to him and I pretend I don't see what's going on. At this point it's starting to bother me and I'm flustered if I should confront her about this. I didn't go through her phone and I don't plan on doing so. This isn't appropriate behavior for a girl in a relationship right? It did send me a red flag, but the fact that she treats me so well reassures me that nothing is going and she's a type that would at least tell me if her feelings for me are fading. | i catch my gf texting other men late at night. probably innocent (according to her). Do I confront her or just keep my mouth shut and move on? If I do confront her, how should I proceed? Thanks for reading! |
t3_y5sy9 | relationship_advice | I, [18/m] am going to college soon. I need to break up with my girlfriend [16/f]. | Using a throwaway. I graduated high school 2 months ago. My girlfriend is going to be a junior in high school this year. I don't believe that long distance relationships work. I feel I need to end this relationship soon before I leave 2 weeks from now. She is my first girlfriend so I've never actually had to break up with anyone before. I don't want to hurt her or anything, but I think it would be better if both of us saw other people. I already know not to break up via text, but how should I do this? What should I say to her? | Leaving for college, girlfriend still in high school, need to break up, never done it before. |
t3_3m8hi3 | relationships | Me [31 M] with my MOTHER [50ish F] duration, finally admitted that she has never loved either me nor my brothers | So I'll try to keep this relatively short. My mother is a terrible person, I just wanna get that out now. I know shes a terrible person, my brothers know, our children know. The only person that is not aware of this is my mother. She s currently throwing a quincenera (Hispanic sweet 16) for my oldest niece(1st born grandchild). One part of the ceremony is where the birthday girl, her parents and the sponsors of the event gives speeches. I think you can guess where this is going. While at a rehearsal dinner, it comes to my mothers turn to give her speech. She goes on a very long tangent in which she states "I always wanted a daughter, but I unfortunately had 3 boys. It wasn't until you came into my life that I was able to truly love a child. You're not my granddaughter but the daughter I always wanted. You're the greatest granddaughter a grandmother could ever ask for. You're perfect." Now this last part is where I have the biggest issue with, mainly because she said it with both of my nieces in the room. So my mother will probably realize that her speech was inappropriate (although to be honest I'd love for her to say it at the actual event in front of the entire family) and try to do damage control. I am expecting a call from her to explain what she actually meant by that speech. The thing is regardless if she meant to or not she ,in the house of god mind you(shes super religious), admitted that she never loved me or my brothers and cares very little for our children aside from her favorite granddaughter. So what do I do? Do I finally give in to all the hate and tell her to go fuck herself, do I continue my current course and interact with her as little as possible, or do I overlook it as something stupid said during an emotional event, or am I just overreacting? | Mom admits that she never loved me, my brothers or any of the grandchildren except for my oldest niece, at nieces birthday reception. How should I react. |
t3_1yvfal | relationships | Me [23M] with girlfriend [23F], flirty messages on facebook. | Fuck, reddit.
I think my girlfriend is cheating or might cheat.
She was in the kitchen making dinner and I grabbed her laptop to use the wireless printer because it wasn't working on my desktop. Her fb was open and a chat was open near the bottom of the screen and it was from a guy who I know always hits on her and is always asking her to dump me, so I started reading through the recent messages.
She's told me about this guy and the stuff he says to her but when she tells me the stories she's always saying how she has to constantly turn him down and how she makes sure he respects boundaries and shit.
Anyway, the conversation was him talking about some bullshit romantic dream he had about her, and my girlfriend's response was that it sounded really cute and she liked it and to tell her more. That's all I read before closing out because I thought I might puke.
This certainly doesn't match up with what she's been telling me about respecting boundaries.
She doesn't know I saw anything because I don't know if I'm freaking out over nothing but I'm still pissed off. So now I'm in a shitty mood and have just shut down on her and she thinks I'm just tired. | Saw a facebook message. Think girlfriend is cheating or might cheat. Fuck. |
t3_4qw2t9 | relationships | Me [21 F] just broke it off with my 4 year relationship with [21 M] S/O. | So we've been together since our junior year of high school in out home state of florida. We clicked after I gave him a chance in the start of our relationship and slowly started falling in love with him, as he was already in love with me since freshman year.
After we graduate HS we moved away for college, which we are both in our last semester of school now (hes in NY, im in TN). During the 4 years together, we've been LD for like 3 years. We have seen each other very often and when we get together physically, it was like a beautiful feeling of bliss and love. I cherished the time we got to be together, in the same vicinity.
However, as time went on, we changed. Sometimes for the worse which hurts to say. I feel like we had such an amazing love story which had to end due to distance. It really broke us, because as young adults, we dont know where life will lead us. We have our own dreams that just didnt meet. It was like being together at the wrong place at the time.
It hurts. We decided to mutually break it off about an hour ago, because it was just a cycle of fighting then making it up. I don't know how to feel, I don't even know if what I wrote makes sense, I feel like part of my soul has left my body, I truly thought we were soulmates.
Im sorry for even posting this, as you're probably confused because of many holes this post contains. I just needed to vent. | Distance really tears a relationship apart, especially when you're both young and have dreams of your own. Sometimes you need to realize that no matter how much you love the person if youre in my situation, let it go. Let them grow, and if it works out in the future, you'll be together again. |
t3_1jvatf | relationships | Me [28M] with my on-and-off lover [33F] for three years; sex immediately followed by no contact, what is this? | We had a long and tumultuous relationship. At its height, we lived together, shared a bank account, took care of pets, and were a damn good couple. We were close and we both enjoyed living together. We loved each other, but I was childishly unfaithful and sent the relationship into a tailspin.
Since then I've been trying to reconcile with her. We've had weeks of reclaimed love and sex interspersed with weeks of no contact (always her idea). I don't understand what's happening, especially after this:
Mid-July, we made love and she asked me to finish inside of her, which I did. This is something we hadn't done in a while and it was incredibly intimate. I was under the impression that it meant she was starting to deal with our negative baggage and that we were moving forward.
A few days later she told me she can't keep seeing me, totally out of the blue. Since then she's just ignored me.
I respect her and I want her to be happy - however, after experiencing our time together, it's difficult to believe that the right thing to do is actually to just walk away. I want to at least understand what's going on in her head, but ideally I'd like to help her get through whatever it is so that we can go back to building a relationship. She isn't normally the type of girl who's flighty or who behaves in such a bipolar manner. | Long relationship -> breakup -> rekindling -> very intimate sex -> no contact. What the fuck is going on? What am I missing? |
t3_55asef | relationships | [Dating] Does she [19] like me [m/19] or is she just friendly? | I'll start off by saying yes I have a crush on her, and that is why I am here. She has kind of closed herself off from me in person, but not online.
I have only known her for about 2 months now. She is overall considerate and friendly towards our mutual friends.
This past week was midterms and she was running on like 7 hours between 2 days at one point. She "documented" this experience on SnapChat. I wrote "I am worried for you" and since then she has acted different towards me. Before this I did help her study for one her midterms. We talk on SnapChat, but when we're in a room together she ignores me or indirectly answers questions. Am I looking into this too much or not?
Another anecdote... I was under the influence. I was coherent but loose. She offered help to bring me back to my dorm, and that was it. We both walked back and she was, what I was told by my friends the next day, "worried about me." Did this event lead from one to the next and me saying "I worried for her" kinda trigger something in her?
If she does like me I'd like to take it slow, but I don't know if we are there yet. Would like you input. Thanks :D | I like this girl. She has helped me and I have helped her. There seems to be mutual feelings between us (sorta). She has recently started ignoring me when I am in the room, but we keep Snapchatting. |
t3_4b8156 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my boyfriend [19 M], 6 months - hoping to become more physical with him/overcome anxiety. Advice? | My boyfriend and I met in a gay club late last year and after a couple of ice-breakers, made things a little more official. We told our friends and families about each other; we go swimming every weekend and try to have an event of the week be it sightseeing, dinner out, what have you. Every month's anniversary is celebrated with something, be it flowers, a date night; something meaningful and enjoyable for both of us. As we don't live together, we both have a set of housemates we live with and both sets have welcomed the other as part of their house without any problem. Things have been great and we have grown from strength to strength.
We have made quite an impact on each other, and with ideals such as public affection, have no problem holding hands or kissing in busy streets, bars or restaurants. While this showing of affection is out in the open, in private my boyfriend has thus far been incredibly shy and not very confident, especially in the bedroom. Having been on the dating scene for decidedly longer than he, I've built my confidence up over the years and am not afraid to say I take a balance with the emotional/non-physical side of relationships to the physical side. Making love for me, is a big way to show how much I love him, but after 6 months of sleeping together sometimes 3 or 4 nights a week, he's still not open to the idea.
I've toned down my physical advances considerably for him but at the end of the day, I'm still yearning for that missing piece. Turning to porn helps, but definitely no substitute and also makes me feel almost like a half-cheat. I've also tried talking to him about it, to see if there's an underlying problem, this only appears to make him shyer about the subject.
Does anyone have ideas, advice or suggestions, to strengthen his confidence and trust in me, or should I be the one to change for him and pursue a less physical relationship compared to that which I've been used to in the past? | Great relationship except for the bedroom. Advice to boost partner's confidence and trust in me? Or perhaps I should change my outlook? Would rather not be using porn as replacement for sex life. |
t3_1ilzfn | relationships | My girlfriend[20f] admitted she still feels nervous around me[21m] even though we've been in a relationship for 2 months, is that normal? | A little bit of background quick: We're both in school and we met right as the semester was ending. We spent a lot of time together but mostly doing school work and hooking up(not very many dates or other relationshipy kind of stuff). Our interests are extremely similar so I feel like I can (and do) talk to her about almost everything and I'd like to think she can (and mostly has) too. She moved a couple hours away for the summer so it's been hard not seeing her but we talk an insane amount via text/facebook/skype/phone and it's been good so far.
Yesterday I was on the phone with her and we somehow got to the point where I jokingly said I was more clever than her and she wouldn't ever catch up and she responded with something along the lines of "nuh uh i'm way more clever, I'm just nervous around you!" I didn't think or make a big deal out of it right away but I started thinking about it later.
Is it a bad thing that she feels nervous around me? To me it feels like nervousness equates to discomfort and that's something I don't want her to feel around me. She cares A LOT about my opinion of her so I want to use that to make her feel more secure about herself in general, but how? Am I wrong in thinking that she might only feel this way because we don't physically see each other every day and it'll change when the semester starts again in the fall (we'll see each other a lot and probably spend a lot of time at each others' apartment)?
I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to make my girlfriend feel less insecure and comfortable enough that she can share anything with me. | Girlfriend admitted to feeling nervous around me even after we've been dating for a couple months and I'm not sure how to interpret it. Looking for ways to make her feel more secure and comfortable around me. |
t3_4jp88l | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [21 F] of 1 year, Feeling insecure about sex with my GF and her masturbation. | About a month ago me and my GF told me that our sex wasn't that great and she wanted to get a vibrator, I said ya sure I have no business controlling your masturbation habits. She got it and has been enjoying it a lot. Since that we have been having less sex and I asked about it and she said it's because she enjoys her vibrator a lot more than having sex. I love her so much and I really want ti please her, I ask her about what she wants me to do during sex and I try to do that but I think I'm just not good at it, maybe I just need more practice. Sometimes we use it during sex but it still makes me feel like she needs it for her to enjoy sex and sometimes it feels like I'm just getting in the way of her masturbating. I feel like I'm being sexually replaced by this vibrator and I don't know how to deal with my feelings of inadequacy in bed. Should I tell her about this or should I just get over and try harder, or both? | GF told me she enjoys her vibrator a lot more than having sex with me and I feel insecure about my performance in bed. Should I just get over it, try harder or both, or neither? |
t3_17cblc | Advice | I think I want to switch majors. | Hi r/advice. I'm new to this sub but I am feeling really confused and not sure where else to go.
I'm a junior in college. My freshman year when I was trying to decide a major, I chose design because I like to draw and I am pretty good at it. I started doing design classes at the community college the following summer, then applied to my university's design department in the fall. I didn't get in, so applied again in the winter. This time I did get in. I was so excited I jumped for joy. Well, I've been in the program for about a year now and all I can say is ... I'm not happy.
I never look forward to going to class, I'm unmotivated and the general attitude of people in the industry just sets me off. The hours for projects are LONG and when I'm done I feel like what I've created isn't even that great. Last quarter I had an awful professor who made me feel like crap, so I'm partially worried that I'm still just feeling unmotivated because of that, but I also really just am not that excited to be in the department anymore.
I go to a big university, and the design department honestly feels like its own little private school where I see the same people every day. I don't like that at all, and I also never bother to immerse myself in the design community. There's a design club and I've never been to a single meeting.
I started a minor in psychology in the fall. I have only taken 2 psychology courses before (currently enrolled in my 3rd) and I am much more excited about it than I ever was about design. I am strongly considering switching majors, but I don't want to act hastily and do anything I regret. I'm unhappy as a design major, but my parents are really proud of me for it and I worry about what my peers would think if I just dropped out. I wouldn't be able to do it until the end of this quarter though. | I want to switch my major but I'm worried about what my parents would think and I'm nervous about judgment from my peers and that I won't like my new major either. |
t3_qhfhn | AskReddit | Reddit, what are some good 'diets' to GAIN weight? | I lost 14 pounds in the last week, 34 in the last 3 months.
The past week, i've been seriously ill, resulting in a lack of eating. As a result I lost 6-7 Kilo's (14 pounds) in a matter of days.
Furthermore, I've lost another 20 pounds in the last few months. This is also due to being Ill, but also because I've been going to the gym more.
FYI, I weigh 67kg now, instead of 80kg (that's 147 pounds, instead of 176 pounds). I don't easily gain weight, in fact I've always been able to eat all i want without getting fatter. | My pants are too big, how do I gain weight? |
t3_4o46h7 | relationships | should i tell her or not? | dear internet. ive unfortunately fallen for my best friend [21F] who i [21M] am great friends with. we have gone hiking a few times, we have had dinner together many times, and we have recently planned a week trip to new york to visit her family together.
I felt like i was going to explode if i didnt tell her how i feel but before i even got the courage to tell her, i found out she was already interested in another guy who she met about a week ago. he isnt even in this state for the next month or so.
i need help because i still want to tell her really badly, but i dont want to loose what we have. i want to go on trips with her and i want to be here to help her live the happiest possible life but i dont know if i can keep my mouth shut.
as a side note, she has gotten practically naked in front of me during one of our hikes as well as told me many of her secrets. she trusts me. and i trust and love her a lot. | i need to know if i should tell my best friend that i like her more then a friend at the risk of loosing our friendship. read for details |
t3_285ktd | relationships | Should I [25M] tell her [22F] I'm attracted to her? | I'm sure the simple answer is YES, but I guess I'd like some encouragement/reinforcement. Here is the situation:
She responded to my R4R post just looking for new friends. We talked for a little over a month and never exchanged pictures or anything. When we finally did, holy cow is she gorgeous. All of our previous conversations suddenly meant a lot more and instantly made her that more attractive.
Now, we still talk and have a great relationship. Occasionally we'll flirt (at least I think it's flirting), but nothing really solid. She lives about a days drive away, but my career and income allows me to travel. We always talk about visiting each other and such, but she told me when we first started talking that she isn't ready to start dating again and that she wouldn't date someone out of state. So I guess my question is how should I approach this?? | Should I tell an out of state friend I met on R4R that I like her? |
t3_46ejzg | weddingplanning | Did anyone buy their dress overseas? | Hey all! I have a bit of a situation.
I live in a foreign country. I met a guy and now several years later we're engaged (which I'm totally psyched about btw).
Enter problem: in this country women don't buy wedding dresses; they rent them. That's all fine and practical, but the rentals are thousands of dollars! If I'm paying that much to look gorgeous in a dress, I wanna keep the thing. So, my plan is to buy a dress in the US when we go back in summer to visit my family / have our engagement party.
Has anyone ever done this? I'll only be in America for about ten days. So I won't actually have the dress in my size while I'm there even if I can find and purchase one. Then once it arrives (can I even request they deliver it to Japan?), I'll need alterations. I just am overwhelmed by how terrible (or expensive) this could go. And actually, we aren't getting married in Japan, we are having the ceremony in Hawaii (not my home state). So this dress is going to be well traveled. | need recommendations for buying a dress in a short time frame and then how to lug it from place to place. |
t3_2qiibk | relationships | Me [30F] broke up with ex [31M] half a year ago, NOT over relationship. | My ex and I were together for 3 years, he was my first and only love. We broke up mostly because of sexually incompatibility, but its clear that we're both not over each other. We see each other from time to time, and everytime we're together, we get physical.
I think about him a lot, and think about whether I should have tried harder to work through our issues. Its clear that he doesn't want to be officially back together now, and that hes enjoying the freedom of being single, but having the convenience of some ex-sex cuz its so available. I was okay with it at first, but its been hurting me the last few times we've done it. I feel like I'm being used, and i'm not at a stage in life where I want to just 'fuck around' anymore.
I guess I'm at a lost of what to do. At times I feel like I'll never find someone who treated me as well as he did...and I mourn the lost of what use to be an amazing relationship. Every guy that I've since dated, I've compared them subconsciously to him. At the same time, its painful to see him/be physical knowing that he doesn't want anything more than an easy hookup... | Not over ex of 3 years. Want to get over it and stop putting him on a pedestal |
t3_sxo1w | AskReddit | Is it bad that I like bitch slaps? | So I was at the zoo for a Junior Year field trip. With all the cool animals taken out of the zoo and the food costing so much I wasn't very satisfied. While waiting for the bus I was eating a big pretzel and a friend of mine asked for some so I gave him a little. When I was eating my last piece, he snatched it out of my hand and ate it, laughing and turning around directly after, so I quickly back hand slapped him across the face causing him to get bruised beneath the eye. We had a minor exchange of harsh words and later on the bus we both apologized to each other. I'm not sure why I was so quick to slap the shit out of him (I'm not one to get violent nor do I have a history of violence.)
--Is it bad that I enjoyed it? | I bitch slapped a guy who took my pretzel and I wana know if it's bad that I liked it. |
t3_1ar9el | legaladvice | I'm having some trouble with a complicated sublease issue in North Carolina. | My fiance and I had to cut short our lease at our current apartment. Our apartment doesn't allow subleasing however our leasing agent said that we can find people to add to our lease then remove our names off the lease as a roundabout way.
We found a couple that was willing to do this, however the leasing agent got a hold of them at some point and quoted them a monthly rate lower at what we were, and then said that we couldn't sublease to them and would have to break our contract which means paying a $900 fine.
Is there any course of action I can take against this?
I am going in to talk to them tomorrow because I have to work today. Any help in this case would be very, very appreciated, $900 is a lot of money to us right now as we are both paying off college loans. | Our apartment complex essentially stole our potential subleases and therefore forces us to pay a $900 breach of contract (North Carolina). |
t3_3i294p | relationships | Me [28 M] with my GF [28 F] 8 years. We had 5 years distance relationship. Now, I want to have sex with other women but I love her. So far, I didn't cheat. | 8 years relationship. 5 of them in different country. We were visiting each other about 1 month per year. Now we live together but I feel insecure and have low esteem. Because of that, I want to have sex with other women. So far I didn't.
On the other hand, I love her a lot. I don't feel anything about other women apart from curiosity. Still, I don't really feel attracted sexually to my gf. We had sex 3 times in the last month.
She has a few vices that I find really annoying. She smokes and she drinks. I don't like it when she harms herself and I feel extremely annoyed by that. She feels bad because she has not finished her studies yet and this is her reason of these vices. She was also depressed for quite some time now because of a combination of all the above and she takes meds.
I feel it would be easy for me to find another woman without these issues and now we don't have yet children. On the other hand we have been together for so long and I trust her deeply and I care about her. She has also proven her value by being there for me in tough moments while I was not there for her in the same degree. Should we break up or try harder and maybe marry in about a year? | Not very satisfied in our relationship. Thinking of alternatives. Have to decide whether to commit for real or break up. What should I do? |
t3_29m1ls | loseit | In need of advice, thanks. | Hey, 23M/6,3/400+? pounds here. I've just this week started walking daily after I wake up, for around 15-20 minutes. The problem I'm having right now, is that after the walks ( 3 times in total now ), I've once passed out for a few seconds in the shower after walking, and twice I've gone close to passing out ( had to sit on the floor in the shower for a few minutes ). I'm not going into the shower straight after walking, when I'm pooped as hell, but I wait and calm down to resting heart-rate ( or somewhere close ), then take the shower. I've read around somewhat and most sites say that it might be low bloodsugar or blood-pressure. Before walking, I've drunk about 0,5-1L of water, but havn't eaten anything for the fear of just vomiting the food out during/after the walks, since water almost comes up by itself alone ( no vomiting yet though ).
So the question is, should I eat say oatmeal ( 1 cup of dry oatmeals + water ) and let it digest for 30-40mins, then take the walk, or just keep going like this, or something better ? Havn't really ever done this before, so seeking advice, thanks. | No exercise for years (5+), keep fainting/almost fainting after 20min walks. |
t3_mvr9l | AskReddit | My girlfriend had her tips stolen by a couple of 12 year old kids at work. They got off scott free! How can I legally teach these minors a lesson?? Details inside. | My girlfriend is a barista in a Catholic hospital coffee shop. Near the end of her shift a couple of 12 year old kids rolled in and snatched her tip jar.
She chased the kids outside and snatched one of them and called the police (the hired mall cops at the Catholic hospital couldn't care less, one even just walked away from the situation).
When the police arrived they contacted the kids parents. They came in strung out and intoxicated. The kid that got away had all the tip money. Since the caught kid had none of the money and was a minor. All the police did was make the 12 year old come in an apologize to my girlfriend. During which the father snickered and laughed, making the comment "look, at least your change is still here!". Only the cash was stolen.
Post apology the parents hung out in their car until the police cruiser left. After which the 12 year old got out and walked in one direction. While the parents drove off in another.
We found out that the kids both live within 2 blocks of the hospital. Coincidently WE live 3 blocks from the hospital. I am certain I can find these delinquents out and about.
What is a legal way I can teach these kids a lesson? Or should I just let it go? | gf had her tip money stolen by punk twelve year olds. Who got away with it after their parents and the authorities gave no fucks. How can I teach them a lesson? |
t3_1x2q8k | tifu | TIFU by blowing air on a spider. | This morning I woke up to see a pretty sizeable spider chillin on my ceiling. I wasn't sure if it was alive or not, so I huffed and I puffed and I blew my morning breath all over that fucker. Worst idea ever.
Next thing I know, the little bugger dropped from its web DIRECTLY ONTO MY FACE. Not only did it land on my face, but IN MY MOUTH. It was like I couldn't get it out fast enough. The thing was probably tryna moonwalk on my tongue. Finally I cleansed my orifice of its arachnid inhabitant, and rinsed three times with mouthwash. | I had an earlier breakfast than I'd intended. |
t3_4uiz85 | needadvice | Should I get my Masters Degree? | Currently I am working for a software company as a support tech, and very slowly breaking into the game. I currently have a BA in Information Technology with a concentration in Networking, but it's not enough to prove to my employers to get me into developing and a higher pay grade.
I have spoken with the lead developer about going back to school and he said I would be better off just taking classes, and told me to look into a specific app building tool instead. While I still want to do this, I am also thinking about my future.
I love the company I work for, but I am also in my late 20s. Who's to know if I will still be working here in the next 10-20 years.
Am I better off getting my degree now and honing the skills I have with basic programming classes and home projects, or should I just crack open some books and take random classes? | I have a BA in Networking but want to be a software developer. Should I get my MS in Software, or just take classes? |
t3_ua5sc | AskReddit | Reddit, Dreams Come True can give me up to 14 days all expense paid for in the US. Where should I go? | I've chosen, as my dream, to visit the US, and DCT have said they can cover 10-14 days (depending on the state) including spending money etc. for me and a friend.
FYI - I'll be 21 by the time I fly out (which they have said will be sometime next year). So I'll be able to hit up any local bars/clubs that you may recommend too. It will only be in one state, I've just got to decide a location.
What would you recommend seeing or doing? I don't mind doing some tourist stuff, but also want to go there to have a blast! | Dreams Come True can cover up to 14 days for me and a friend to travel to the US. Where would you recommend me to visit to have a blast? |
t3_3dy15a | relationships | I [F18] am bisexual and refuse to date people in my age group. | It's been this way since the beginning of high school. I'll be going to college in August, and the dating scene will be different. I won't date people my age, and it's kinda hard. When I say dating older people, I mean 40+ men and women. It's hard to meet people, and I find people on dating sites sometimes, but we have to wait to meet because I live with my parents at the moment. We have to plan dates when I move. Before I turned 18, the only older people I ever really met were teachers at school. I'm not quite sure what to do. People my age aren't on my level, but it's hard meeting older people. | I only date older people, but I don't know how to meet them. |
t3_4oa4cm | relationships | After abuse, I (21F) can't handle a good relationship (21M) | We've been together for almost a year and have discussed marriage next year. I love him, and he has supported me through so much of the heading and recovery process of my abuse.
Now, my anxiety is resurfacing. I handle a lot of it well and on my own, but it's getting so overwhelming he's had to deal with too much lately. I'm honestly thinking of breaking up with him because I can't afford counseling and I feel so guilty dumping so much on him. Being in a relationship is what's causing the anxiety; it doesn't appear in any other areas of life anymore. It isn't his fault, but he doesn't really know how to help either. I struggle communicating also because of what I've been through.
The easiest thing would be for me to leave so I won't have to face anything. It would be hard, but it would be best for him I feel.
How do I do it? Or is there anything in not thinking of that's a better solution? | I don't deserve my boyfriend; what do I do? |
t3_234y3e | relationships | I [19 F] cheated on my boyfriend [20 M] with his father [55 M] and am now pregnant, but I think I'm actually more attracted to women | The ultimate throwaway but
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for roughly a year or so. We met early on in college and have been "seeing each other" ever since. However, during a long stretch of our on phase, we hit a rough patch two weeks back and thought we would go to his parent's lake house to try to figure stuff out.
Surprisingly, his parents were actually there that weekend so we were unable to commence with the whole crazy monkey sex to makeup.
We fought. A lot. Everyday.
Second night there we got into a brutal argument where we both said some really awful things and he stormed out. I sat in the foyer crying and eventually his father slipped in and tried to awkwardly comfort me. We ended up having sex, but afterwards we just both cleaned ourselves up and never talked about it anymore.
It's been roughly two months and I kept experiencing nausea and my period was suspiciously absent so I bit the bullet and took a pregnancy test. It was positive.
I'm not sure what to do now because I obviously don't know who the father is. I'm not even sure I should tell either of them about it because I don't think it would be wise to bring this child into the world in a situation such as this.
But the biggest kicker is, after the whole lake house fiasco my boyfriend and had sex a few more times before we went on another "off" stretch...and I started experimenting with a girl in my sorority, and I think it's more than just general horniness and loneliness at this point. I find myself thinking of her constantly, and every time I see her I can't stop smiling and have massive butterflies in my stomach.
I confessed to her about the pregnancy and she said she would help me raise my child if I decided to go through with the pregnancy, but I'm really not sure that's a good decision either.
Anyways I'm pretty much fucked now so I'm not even sure where to start. | I had sex with my boyfriends father and am now pregnant but I don't know whose it is. Also I think I'm in love with a woman who offered to raise this kid with me. |
t3_2mon9m | tifu | TIFU by fixing a ford odometer | Background: *i am good at soldering and my friends like to take advantage of my skill*
Anyways before i left for work (this is super early in the morning around 4am) one of my friends gave me his dad's ford f150 gage cluster because the odometer has a cold joint.
So i proceed to dismantle the odometer and also decided to swap the measurements to MPH as he wanted that done.
So after soldering the odometer joints i started to remove the gauge needles when suddenly the motor shaft stuck in between my finger and nail.
Result: ambulance, bandages and shit, working odometer and MPH cluster, showing up to work with a fucked up finger. | Ford is hard and unsafe to work on despite its reliability. I think this is why they are a hated brand. |
t3_2sdv4m | relationships | I [F25] just got faded on by a guy [M25] after 5 months. Let's talk about "Fading!" | I just got faded on after 5 months of going out with this dude. I get that we weren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend, that we saw each other maybe three times a month. I get that maybe I was sending signals that he wasn't vibing with.
I was purposefully trying to telegraph my increasing interest in him when we were together to gauge his response before starting a conversation on where we stood, in little ways like mentioning that I liked him (which he said back, okay).
On our last date we spent a fantastic day just enjoying each other's company from basically the moment we woke up and could meet up with each other until nightfall. I thought that date boded well for me!
I was going to start a "where do you see us going" conversation the next time we saw each other! But in the following weeks, he didn't respond to my texts following up promises for meeting up that we made at the end of that date, got blocked on facebook, and un-added from instagram and everything else we were friended on. Which, okay, I get the picture now. He's not interested in continuing to see me.
But why couldn't he have told me over text, at the very least, when I asked him out again? Especially after hanging out for 5 months! I think I would have taken the rejection just as hard if he'd rejected me outright, but at least I wouldn't have lost respect for him for going about it in this secretive manner. I've faded on guys I wasn't that interested in before... but never anything past a 3rd date or 1 month mark. I'm not that experienced at dating (this is only the third guy I've gone out with, second since my last serious boyfriend), but I imagine that a certain level of intimacy requires a certain amount of respect when you're dumping a person. | I'm feeling a little down that a guy I was starting to fall after seeing each other casually for 5 months just upped and disappeared on me without a trace. I know it's life, I've just gotta move on. But do any of you have any feelings on the idea of "fading" or stories to share? Have you ever done it on someone? What are your limits? |
t3_ykjt3 | relationships | Girlfriend did something that upset me at a party [me=28m, she=24f] | (We've been together almost a year)
My girlfriend's roommate had a party on Saturday just gone, which I didn't go to because I wasn't feeling great, but also because he doesn't exactly like me, so I wasn't particularly keen on going anyway.
Long story short, she got drunk and, because the theme was 'beach', ended up wearing just a bikini and a white, wet T-shirt. There were other girls there, also partaking, although none were wearing bikini pants.
So, a bit of drunken fun, perhaps. Perhaps I should be annoyed at this point.
The thing is, her roommate has had feelings for her for a long time, since before I met her. This is just my opinion, and the opinion of some mutual friends, based on body language etc; nothing has ever been explicitly said. She maintains it's not true, but she's massively naive at that kind of thing - she completely missed another of our friends being completely in love with her, which everyone told her afterwards. I don't particularly trust her instincts on this occasion, shall we say! This is the reason he doesn't like me, I think.
I think she was acting perfectly honestly. I think she just really doesn't understand why it was anything more than fun. I'm trying to understand why I feel so annoyed about it though; on the one hand, my girlfriend was having drunken fun with friends, and I know she is completely in love with me. On the other hand, she had slutty fun with a guy I particularly don't want her to have that kind of fun with.
Am I wrong for being jealous about this situation? As said, I trust her completely as far as fidelity goes. Is she wrong for doing it? Is she wrong that afterwards, she has shown no remorse? | Girlfriend did something I didn't want her to do, she's not remorseful, should I be upset? |
t3_jm5p7 | relationships | GF and I mutually decided to call it off for college. But I still really really really like (love?) her. What do I do now? | We have been going out for 2+ years and we're now heading off to university. We were each other's first serious bf/gf but the across country distance between our schools really made things seem hopeless. We know of too many long distance relationships in college that don't work out and we don't want to be another story.
Granted, we are still young and naive and yes, there are other fishes in the sea, but in my narrow world, she's absolutely amazing and I can't imagine a married life without her.
Basically I hope to stay connected enough to possibly keep some interest alive but not close enough to cause a shitload of confusion.
What should I do? And has any other redditors been through college or a long period apart, meet up, and then fall in love all over again? | Mutually decide to break up for college but still want to be together in future, but how? And is it possible? |
t3_q4ogu | relationship_advice | Breaking down that emotional barrier | Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a bit now and we are getting pretty serious. We both have had talks about our future together (marriage, a family etc) and are both commited. The only issue we face currently is she has an emotional barrier that keeps her from getting too close and expressing how she really feels about our relationship and me (the good and the bad stuff). When I ask her about it she just explains that whenever she lets someone get close it always ends up hurting her. Anyone out there know of a way to psychologically break her of this emotional barrier? | Girlfriend is having trouble sharing how she really feels, anyone have advice? |
t3_2ztlbp | relationships | My [21F] former best friend [20F] cut me off on her girlfriend's [21F] orders. I still don't know how to make peace with the situation. | So, my former friend who will henceforth be referred to as Haley and I had been friends for about five years until November. We hooked up for a few months in high school (three years ago) while she was in an on-and-off relationship with an unrelated gf (Nora). We called it quits because I realized that she wasn't going to ever officially leave Nora and that was nothing to destroy a friendship over. Fast forward two years. All that high school stuff has faded into irrelevance and our friendship is stronger than ever. Haley starts seeing Alex and they eventually start dating. I wanted Alex to feel welcome among Haley's friends and made a point of never inviting one without the other. Alex never showed up to anything and she'd always freak out at home and make Haley leave things early to take care of her. It was weird that Alex didn't even try to get to know her girlfriend's closest friends, but whatever. Haley said she was socially anxious, fair enough. But then in November (the very day my ex broke up with me, mind you) I get a text from my friend saying that we can't be friends anymore because I'm fucking up her relationship. The thing is, I saw this girl every few weeks, always in a big group with my own at-the-time gf present and her gf was always invited but refused to ever join us.
Since then, I can't think about my ex-friend without getting angry. She cut me out of her life entirely when I did nothing wrong. By extension, she never hangs out with our other shared friends anymore. What bothers me the most is that Alex never even tried to get to know any of us before taking it upon herself to micromanage Haley's friendships. How do I get over being frustrated over it when I never got any kind of closure? | my best friend of five years cut me off with no real explanation because her girlfriend who never even tried to be friendly with me told her to. |
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