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t3_17g1mh | weddingplanning | Sad Sister Situation. Could use some advice! | So, my three sisters and I are pretty close. The only thing I ever dreamed about my wedding, other than awesome dress, was that I would have all of them with me. Thing is, I have two military sisters (Go Navy! \^-^ ) so we've kind of been holding our breath for the last eight months waiting to find out if they will be able to get leave. Got really excited because last month they both figured out that yes they could!
Then, a few days ago one of them text me saying that she wouldn't be able to make it, because someone had informed her wrong as to the paperwork or something. I couldn't help but cry a little. I love her very much, and I'm so proud that she is out there helping protect our country. Just got my hopes up, you know? Feeling a little squished right now.
So, I'm trying to figure out a good way to incorporate her in the ceremony... can't do Skype, cause she can't access it out on the ship. So far my idea is to make an origami flower bouquet out of giraffe paper (giraffes are really her thing) and hang it on a shepherd's hook where she would be standing. Also, send her tons of pictures and a video of the ceremony. | Love my Navy sister, really sad she can't make the wedding and looking for non-skype ways to incorporate her |
t3_l4nwi | AskReddit | Can anyone please help me topple a NYC pyramid scam?? | Ok, so recent grad here. Having a hard time finding work, I (probably foolishly) responded to [this] craigslist ad. It didn't seem that bad and the next day they called to set up an interview.
It was sketchy nonetheless. I couldn't find the name of the company or really anything about it so I cross-referenced the number (212-256-0787) on craigslist and google and found these...[1] [2](
Long story short, I got hired and started today. Under the guise of 'target marketing' we offered discounted salon deals with savings for those interested to a "5th Avenue Penthouse" salon called "Renait."
With more research I realized that Image Branding's facebook page lists the company's address [here] as the SAME 383 5th ave. penthouse address listed for the salon [here](
As if all that wasn't enough I searched for the man Christian Renait, and found [this] picture--of him posing with the freakin' receptionist of the Image Branding office just down the block.
[This] is 'Michael' the director at Image Branding. Tineye didn't help and all my leads are cold now.
I seriously need reddit's help-not just for my sake, but too for either the other people looking for jobs sucked into this mess, or for the customers on the street who are supposed to be getting some kind of deal out of this. | Image Branding is a pyramid scheme. Something isn't right but I don't know how deep the rabbit hole goes! **PLEASE HELP!** |
t3_2ob156 | relationships | Me [19 M] and my SO [19 F] have been dating for a bit over a year. She has cheated before and I'm worried about infidelity. | So when we went home from university for the summer (we live in different cities) my girlfriend was unfaithful to me. I forgave her in the fall because I was tempted to do the same and the distance made things hard for us. This was very hard for me but in the end I figured that my feelings I have towards her trumped her drunken mistake. However I am still worried about infidelity.
She has seeming somewhat distant lately (she's really stressed out about school and plans on dropping out) this has made me a little suspicious. This morning my roommate told me about some of her vague actions towards him (the way she walked and the way she looked at him). He said that he may have been over analyzing them but they did seem slightly suspicious. I'm not sure what to think. I'm suspicious about whether she's cheating again or not. Nevertheless I am feeling pretty anxious and nervous and don't know how to approach the problem. | gilfriend cheated. forgave her. months later roommate said she's suspicious. Im worried about whether or not shes cheating again |
t3_1olfkg | relationships | Made the stupid decision of writing a love-confession note and she didn't take it well. Now I'm leaving the area on bad terms. Should I (21m) expect her (21f) to hate me forever? | We knew each other for a year and a half, had a lot in common, but we were only friends. I completely misread almost a year's worth of interaction as something more than friendly. Thought she was interested so ended up writing her a note saying I cared for her, but she deserved someone better.
I recently went through a period of substance abuse and felt the need to focus on myself. I didn't say I loved her but alluded to some rather strong feelings. She didn't take it well and when I talked to her she was angry and extremely uncomfortable. I said I regretted writing the letter and realized it was inappropriate.
This made me realize how insane the note was and I don't know what I was thinking, I guess it was a better alternative than bottling it up inside and bothering me. Now she avoids me at all costs, which I expect and don't blame her for, but this is someone that just a couple months ago was at my birthday party buying me drinks, and is a big part of the group of friends that made me want to kick the substance addiction.
How fucked am I? Should I expect to never see or hear from her again? Also my leaving the state has pretty much nothing to do with this situation. | Wrote an inappropriate note, made her angry and lost a friend. Will she hate me forever? |
t3_1hl5hm | travel | Planning to go around a bit in the UK using mostly youth hostels, how much should I plan/organise? | Hello,
I'm 22 from Switzerland and I'm planning to go around the UK a bit by train this summer and I'm hoping to stay in youth hostels mostly and do some walking. The thing is I have no experience with travelling, in youth hostels or at organising stuff, which are some of the reasons I'm doing this.
My basic plan for now is to go stay in Hathersage and do day trips in the Pennines and then move North, I have family in Glasgow and they have a caravan in Fife. I'm hoping I'll find the motivation to wander around on the way north.
My question is: How much should I plan/organise my trip, should I have every stage and stop of the trip planned and my train tickets and beds reserved in advance? Or can I just arrive in a town and find a room in a hostel easily? | How organised should my trip around the UK by train be in terms of reservations? |
t3_29pj5f | relationships | Wifey [34F]wants a threesome, I [33M]don't. | I've been in a rough relationship for five years. Throughout our time together, we've had an upfront discussion regarding the nature of people, tendencies to cheat, etc. We settled into a sort of agreement that if the other wishes to go get a little side action, that's ok, but it needs to be verbalized as a courtesy to the other. Neither of us has yet actually gone and gotten any strange yet.
She has shared her fantasy to me to have two guys at once, and in the name of comprmise, I've told her I'm cool with it, but it cant be anybody she is already friends with. The last thing either of us needs is some guy with some old, crushpossibly secret, crush on her getting into the mix. Its not fair to anyone involved for a plethora of reasons. She seems to prefer that it be someone she knows, but has not named anyone specifically.
She has recently tried to convince me to go for a mff, supposedly this would cause our relationship to be "less boring." Ouch.
For me, I am more than ok with being with only her for the rest of my life. As a guy, i suspect that this is entrapment. That conversations about"fairness" will come up and she'll manage to justify in her own mind why my feelings about her fucking another man will no longer matter.
That said, the idea of a threesome is her idea, and any pursuit of it will be on her. But I fear that placing the labor of the pursuit for one on her may only be delaying the inevitable. | my wife wants a threesome, i dont, think its a precursor to her screwing around with an old friend. |
t3_29zti8 | relationships | My boyfriend's [M28] having surgery tomorrow and just now told me [F26]. Do I have a reason to be upset? | Six month relationship. I'm [F26], he's [M28].
I'm a little upset with my boyfriend right now and I'm hoping you can tell me if you think I'm being ridiculous.
This afternoon, my boyfriend let me know that he was having surgery tomorrow and that he'd be in the hospital for two or three days. It's somewhat serious, but obviously everything is expected to go well. He's known about this surgery for a week, which really bothers me because he should've told me right away since I'm his girlfriend.
Anyway, he thinks it's no big deal and is joking around saying, "Well, do you want to go on a date tonight since it might be our last?" He thinks he's being funny, but I'm not amused at all.
Am I making a big deal out of nothing? My mom thinks he should've told me sooner as well. I just feel like these things are supposed to be shared when you're in a relationship. | Boyfriend kept information from me until the last minute. |
t3_254nh6 | relationships | Me [23M] with my long term GF [22F]. I am moving across the country - when do I tell her? | Been in a 3ish yr relationship. Great girl, we get along great. Long term life goals - we don't agree (kids, location...etc). She has known for a while that I want to move across the country and now it's happening 5 months from now (with the expectation that we'll have to break up). Don't know if I should wait until after her and I go on vacation or just tell her asap. Vacations is 2 weeks away for 1 week. I feel like I should wait but I also think she will be mad that I strategically waited (withheld information from her).
She won't be too surprised but will for sure be super emotional. | Moving across country in 5 months - don't know if I should tell GF asap or after we go away for a week to tropical paradise. |
t3_jckpl | Parenting | idea: diy educational pc games for your kid | a few months ago, trying to teach my son some letters I whipped up a quick prototype for a flash app which consisted of letters he had drawn with added sounds of how these letters are pronounced.
then i had an epiphany: what if i could make an app where my wife could just drop pictures to a specific folder, name them correctly and my software would fire up speech synthesizer - presto, new game every time!
well, it was a failure - i haven't tried synthesizers for other languages, but the one i found for estonian (from ~1999) was a full-blown robot. to make the matters worse, my kid thought it was hilarious and sounded like r2d2 for the next few weeks.
back to the drawing board - only way that i could try again was if the sounds could be recorded (rules set by wife) by the user AND it had to be easy. challenge accepted.
last weekend i bought some stuff needed and threw together another quick prototype: [gamele](
if you have a minute, it would be superb if you could check it out. as i need a way distinguish users, you have to register (or you could use the account gamele:gamele, but.. who knows what the last user left for you to find).
it has 2 games (memory cards and word search), the user interface is utter BS, i'm pretty sure it hangs up for hours if there are more than 2 guests and please-oh-please if you register - don't use your everyday password. i just threw it together with some duct tape and gum.
why: i met with a guy from laboratory of phonetics and speech technology to ask him one question: would it be possible to compare the player's pronunciation with the prerecorded sample and got back a truckload of documents about dynamic time warp, hidden markov models and other kind of mathematical/technical models to use for the task. i would like to try it out, but i would like to know beforehand - would there be any users?
p.s. sorry for errors in the text, not a native speaker. | made a quick and sucky prototype for making (hopefully) educational games: [gamele] & would like to know if you would use it. *if it sucked less* |
t3_2xfla4 | tifu | TIFU By being a drug mule for an old friend. | I was walking out of my local store when I heard someone yell hey!, did you go to blah blah High School. I said yeah, I don't remember you, what's your name? He says Dave ****. I instantly remember his name and then I recognized him. He says, you want to make some quick cash? I'm in a bind. Gullible me says yeah, what's up? He says I got to meet this guy and pick something up. Ill give you 50 bucks and it'll only take 20 minutes. He asks for my number and I give it to him. Say's he'll call me in 10-15 minutes. I remember Dave as a decent guy from school and we hung out in childhood, however; I didn't know him in high school. He calls and says meet me at my house, which is only a few block from my house. So I go pick him up and he tells me how to get where we're going.
He tells me that guy lives in Southwest Detroit, which isn't the best of neighborhoods. I say to Dave, what kind of shit are you getting me involved in man?. He says he's a caregiver for a medical marijuana dispensary and he has to go buy some seeds. Tells me everything is perfectly legal and he has a caregiver's card. A card I didn't bother asking to see. So we go to the neighborhood in Detroit which is less than 15 minutes down I-94. We get there and Dave tells me stop on the side of the road after pulling off a main road. Guy #2 pulls up and Dave gets out and does the 'deal'. Dave gets back in my truck and we head back to the burbs. I pull up at his house and he says thanks man and hands me 50 bucks. He says there's plenty more easy money to be made. I drive away wondering how I got suckered into some shit like that. The only kind of proof I have is that he was on the phone with the person he plans on selling the seeds to, and actually used the word seeds. Could be code for meth or crack who knows.
Now Dave has my number and will likely be bugging me for future money making opportunities. | Ran into an old acquaintance from school days. Dude lured me in with the promise of easy money for just giving him a ride. Probably contributed to the distribution of a hard drug. |
t3_4s9xly | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of 1 and a half years, snooped my messages | My girlfriend and I fell out massively last week.
She said we were over and cut contact for 2 days.
I messaged my friend also going through a break up saying 'if we can get fit girls we can get another'
'i wouldnt break up with her in my hometown because im not going to pull in my hometown'
'she was so good in bed though, there'll be others who are too'
I went to visit her a few days ago to sort this out and left my facebook signed in, she read these messages and is really mad.
Is the relationship doomed? I only said these things out of anger and spite because I thought she dumped me.
How can i redeem myself and get her to understand I didn't mean a single word i said to my friend but was just upset and angry? | Me and Gf argue, i message friend saying bad stuff about her |
t3_3h61cq | relationships | I [18M] AM In love with [18F] and she says she's in love with me too but won't tell her ex/best friend. | So I've been friends with this girl for about three years but I never considered her romantically until a couple weeks ago, when she told me she has feelings for me and broke up with her boyfriend because of it, after a lot of thinking I realised I felt the same way. I really want this to work out but I'm not sure if I could deal with being scared of being in the same situation as her ex one day. Is this a rational fear and how should I deal with this?
I'm sorry if this does not belong here, and I understand that I'm still young and stupid and am probably over thinking this but I really needed to hear someone else's perspective. | girl I like won't tell ex about being with me is being worried about this okay? |
t3_53hvvb | relationships | I'm a Christian [33 F] my boyfriend of 2 years is Atheist [34 M], we're starting to talk about kids, and suddenly religion is an issue. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for more than two years. We've been talking about this relationship as a long-term thing since nearly the beginning, and we bought a house together this year. As someone who hasn't had children yet, I'm starting to get anxious (see: mid-thirties and fertility decline), so have decided that we need to talk about those things that are potential stumbling blocks before we get married. As background: he's divorced with two children who stay with us half the time.
The main issue is that he's an Atheist, and I am a Christian. I go to church fairly regularly, but wouldn't dream of "making" him go (except for events that are more "social" occasions, and even those are few and far between). He respects my beliefs and I respect his.
So we started talking about what happens when there's a child in the picture. He wants no exposure to churching and monotheism at ALL until they're old enough to make a decision for themselves, because any exposure as a child will be "indoctrination". I'm fine with the kid making that decision for themselves, but feel like having a balanced exposure to both (non) belief systems until they're a teenager is the way to do it.
He had a bad experience with the Catholic church as a child, and thinks that everything is going to be about guilt and a vengeful god. Trying to explain that no, my denomination (Episcopalians) don't do that, and hey - we also believe in science! - is hard.
I think my main question is - are any of you atheists in relationships with christians, or christians in relationships with atheists, do you have kids, and how do you negotiate that balance with respect and love? | What advice would you give to a Christian and an Atheist in a long term relationship who are very likely to get married and have children soon, and how to balance those (non) beliefs respectfully? |
t3_466trk | relationships | Me [29F] with my boyfriend [29 M) 7 years, I broke up with him and asked him to move out, but he won't and now he showering me with gifts and kindness. | In short, I broke up with my long term live in bf. He went crazy this past year and became extremely ugly. Screaming at me, driving like a maniac, breaking stuff, punching the wall, punching me, etc. he says he had a mental breakdown from work. A full year of this awful behaviour. . And all the other awful behaviour before, but in lesser amounts. I wrestled with the decision to break up for a long time, fearful about his violence mostly. After another sleepless night of him walking around, turning lights on and off, fretting about work, I couldn't handle it. I told him to leave, I am not his gf, it's done. He left to stay with family for about 2 weeks and came back because well he still technically lives here. Now he is saying he's a changed man, he has been cooking food for me and showering me with presents. I keep saying it won't change my mind. I keep telling him he has to look for a new apartment and it seems like he's dragging his heels. He hasn't contacted any rental place at all. Thankfully he's not being crazy to me but is this abusive of him to drag his heels? He doesn't respect me and my need for peace away from him. I just want to move on with my life.. And I can't believe he would change in two weeks. It's impossible right? How can I get this guy OUT of the apartment!? | Boyfriend became extremely mean for a year, I broke up with him and now he's showering me with gifts and doesn't want to leave the apartment. |
t3_1u2lxx | offmychest | I feel so good and liked in school but I am a complete loser outside. | Throwaway because. I am a highschool freshman 14, almost 15
When I am in school or at practice I feel great. I have friends, im the funny person, it is really easy for me to socialize.
But when I get home, after school and all that, I feel like shit. I don't really text people (too afraid to ask for #) and I dont make a facebook (too scared to ask people to friend me). I dont talk to other people and I just do my homework, eat, play video games, and go to sleep. Over and over. On the weekends too. I dont hang out after school and I don't fell like I exist outside of school.
Sure I was fine with it for a while, I never thought of it, but now it sucks. I am not invited anywhere for NY and I feel like I am at a low point. Sometimes I just play video games and don't think of what a lonely fucking loser I am and I feel better. | Im a fucking loser outside of school and practice. |
t3_3iwszb | relationships | I [16M] don't know what to do with my pan-sexual friend[16F] | Throwaway since she knows my real account and she would kill me if she knew i told thousands of people her secrets. Anyway, she is a pan-sexual and is currently online dating with a girl from an anime RP site. She also says she wants to be a man. My problem is that I want to be with her, but be more than just a friend. She would rest her arm/legs over mine and be like that for hours while the teachers talked.
Last Friday we were in a Skype call, and she started sending me pictures of the conversation she was having with her girlfriend (I could hear her type). I told her that my parents were awake (they weren't) and I went to sleep. Later she told me she waited for me for 2 hours.
For the last week I have been avoiding her and mildly ignoring her messages/sitting with other people at high school. Because of this, she has been sad because she saw me as more than a friend, as a "brother".
She said she is dating her because she has problems (her parents are terrible, and blame her for everything). In my opinion, she doesn't want to be with her, but with anyone who wants to be with her. | I want to be with friend who is sad because I'm ignoring her and I don't know if to stay with her or leave and find someone else. |
t3_1wm1qe | relationship_advice | GF entrapped me on CraigsList, explanation below. | I [27/m] recently moved away for work, albeit temporarily, and my 2 year relationship has become a long distance relationship over night. Lately, my GF [25/f] has been emotionally uncomfortable about this move and it has led to lots of tension and arguing. I have a lot of stress in my current line of employment and I don't need the extra undue stress from my GF. After yelling at each other back and forth, she turned to her usual tactics of hanging up the phone rather than reaching a mutual resolve.
Bored and upset in my apt, I lurked the craigslist casual encounters and was was casting the proverbial line just to entertain myself. I replied to 5 ads and quickly got bored knowing that I wouldn't follow through with having a casual encounter. If you've read this far, heres the kicker.... | My girlfriend created an ad on craigslist in the area which I just moved to and I happened to reply to it! |
t3_4ju0o9 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my "friend" [17 F]. She said she loves me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend but didn't. What do? | So about 2 months ago, my female friend and some others came over for some drinks. I had a crush on her, but she had a boyfriend so I didn't think much of it. When she got drunk, she confessed her love to me and I was super happy. We started talking way more for the next month, and she's even said she doesn't want to be in her relationship and that she's trying to break up, and that she thinks that I'm the 'one' for her, always talking about how she wants to marry me. She told me that she broke up with her boyfriend about 3 weeks after the day she came over, so we started getting closer (hanging out more outside of school, cuddling, but nothing sexual). About 1 week after, my friend told me that they didn't actually break up, and I got super mad at her, and she is saying that it's hard and didn't want to hurt his feelings. It's been about a month, and after this fight, we started talking less but every week she still messages me about why she loves me and how she wants to be together with me, even though she's still with her boyfriend despite saying she loves me more than any other guy she's ever met. They don't act like they're dating (they haven't for a while), but still are in-name (I don't see them holding hands/kissing/hugging etc.). What should i do about this situation? Should I forget her or wait for her to finally break up with her boyfriend? | Girl who says she loved me said she broke up with her boyfriend, but actually didn't. What do? |
t3_3oncw1 | relationships | Me [19 M] possibly still in love with [19F] best friend, I need some serious help :( | I told my best friend I'm in love with her and that I needed distance to get over that (she had a bf back then, was about 7 months ago)
Our friendship has recovered really well. But for some reason I'm still in love with her I think.Even though I haven't seen her in 2 months, how is that even possible? Anyways, I'm usually a really positive kind of guy, but whenever she texts me I get really upset because I know I can't ever be with her (her ex was my best friend). Should I just cut the contact....for ever? I need advice. | Possibly still in love with BF, thinking about cutting contact to finally be able to get over her. |
t3_2lnfwu | relationships | Me [21 F] with my Boyfriend [21 M] of 4 months, I'm nervous around his "cool" friends. | I did not have a great high school experience. I was overweight, and it causes a lot of anxiety issues so I didn't make a lot of friends. I was also always into "nerd" stuff since my brother I do have a core group that has stayed with me since high school.
My freshman and sophomore year of college I got some medical help for my anxiety, I lost weight and feel good about myself now, enough to consider myself attractive.
I met my boyfriend last semester at the gym, and we started dating, and four months ago we made it official. He's great, and we started saying I love you 2 weeks ago.
The problem I'm having is being comfortable around his friends. They (my boyfriend included) were the "cool kids" at their school. The girls were cheerleaders, the guys all played sports. I don't know why but I feel like I'm back to being the fat scared girl around them. They're all nice enough (although my boyfriend's not crazy about a few of the guys and neither am I). I don't really have much in common with them, so I end up being really quiet around them, so much so that my boyfriend has said that they've noted it to him (and I'm never quiet with my boyfriend, so he laughed about it).
I know it's pathetic to still let high school affect me, but it is. How should I go about sticking myself out with this group? | I was unpopular in school, my boyfriend and his friends seemed to be, how do I stop being so nervous around them? |
t3_48zloz | tifu | TIFU by seeing London has fallen | Let me preface this by saying that I live in Sweden.
So me and my girlfriend are going to the movies and I suggest this new silly action movie about how they try to kill the president of the USA in London at the former PM's funeral.
So the movie starts and we're both liking it somewhat. And it reaches the climax during the first act when London is attack and I hear a loud sob next to me. And my gf is crying her eyes out.
"Why are we seeing this bloodbath??"
"What are you talking about honey?"
"We are going to London in one week and you take me to this bloodbath...." | We're vacationing in London in one week and I took my girlfriend to see a movie about how London get attacked... |
t3_10s469 | Parenting | I believe my sister's 4yo has an eating disorder. I've supported my sister until now, but don't know how to *gently* confront or bring this up. | This is a combination of discipline and my sister not noticing. She regularly rants to me about how other people tell her to raise her kids.. I hate to be that person! I believe the 4yo daughter (call her Jane) has an eating disorder. Jane is a bit of a "black sheep" and has a very dynamic and moody temperament. The older daughter, age 6, eats most things ok and never pitches a fit at the table.
I hate doing meal times with them.
For example, saturday night was a big dinner with my sister, her 2 kids, my parents, and my daughter (age 2).
Jane did not eat a single bite of dinner besides biscuit. There was chicken + ketchup, mashed potatoes, corn, and biscuits. Grandmother insisted that I spoon-feed the kid. I didn't want to AT ALL. Grandmother had to plead, beg, and coerce, then threaten the kid to take maybe 6 tiny bites of chicken. And yes, Grandma spoon-fed every single bite. This is a typical family gathering event.
She eats bread, crackers, cookies, donuts. It is known that she pretty much will not eat any fruit or vegetable, besides maybe applesauce or french fries. I have regularly seen her take the minimum amount of food before darting from the table, leaving most of the remainder behind. She will not drink milk and only drinks water (if forced), OJ, or apple juice.
I know some kids have "phases" but this has been getting progressively worse for 2 years. I've heard that a diet of roughly 12items is disordered for children.
What is your recommendation on this? How do I put it gently? | 4yo won't eat any fruit, veggie, milk, and is limited to maybe 1dozen food options. This is abnormal. How to approach this to hot-headed sister? |
t3_10j09z | relationships | I [26f] am worried my boyfriend [26m] isn't sexually attracted to me anymore - feels like an "old married couple" scenario. | We've been together for going on 10 years (yeah I know, put a ring on it, you're tellin' me). We're both 26 and in most aspects our relationship is awesome, even better than most people we know. We've often been told we have a very special bond - we spend so much time together and never get bored. It's like having a sleepover with your best friend, only all the time.
HOWEVER. I have a crazy-high sex drive. He did too, as we got together when we were 17 (and lost our virginities to each other) so of course we boned like rabbits. But over the years he's slowly seemed to lose interest to where we have sex once a month and that's pretty much only if I push it.
Now here's the problem: like I said, our relationship otherwise is totally great. We have fun together every weekend, we're around each other all the time, we don't fight. I know he doesn't look at porn or cheat. He admits himself he just has a low sex drive, but I'm not happy with that. I wouldn't give up this relationship for anything but I'm tired of "taking care of myself" every day when I know this isn't a problem most girls have. | Long-term boyfriend doesn't have interest in sex but we're best friends and I don't want to lose him. |
t3_41vfdv | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [22 F] 6 months, I miss the girl from the honeymoon phase | About me: Quiet guy, first real relationship, very busy with my hobbies
About her: 10-15+ ex boyfriends, all were less than 4 months, short term, except for 1 in high school
We met in the summer in a small beach town, typical love story. I played hard to get because I wasn't really looking for a girlfriend. Her mentality was basically that she's way too good looking to be ignored by me (and she is). She was very forward and put in tons of effort to get my attention. By forward I mean, she added me on Facebook, asked me when I'm going to ask for her number, asked me when we are going on a date, etc. VERY forward, and I liked that. Always very good to me, very happy, texted first, texted a lot, etc. She was crazy about me.
Fast forward 6 months and now I feel I'm with a whole different girl. I've made posts here before from disposable accounts, one conclusion Redditors came to is calling her an "out of control princess" and me a "door matt." She isn't the girl she portrayed to be back when I met her.
Now, she'll get pissy with me over stupid little things like if I don't text her good morning first, when this would have never happened back in the summer.
Her friends/family think I'm almost "too good" to her. I treat her well and they love me. I'm so close with her brother that he has texted me things like "most guys break up with her because of stupid arguments or trust issues." I'm also close with aunts and grandparents.
I'm not unhappy and I want to be in this relationship, but I'm so curious as to if this is a normal feeling.
Is it normal to feel like this? Is the honeymoon-phase version of the person usually completely different from them when they've been with a person for a few months?
She hasn't made it this far into a relationship in 5+ years and I never been this far. We're both not really experienced, but she thinks she is. | My GF has changed so much since we started dating and I don't know what to think. Is this normal? |
t3_28mne3 | relationships | I [29M] have fallen for my friend [26F] | This is a story as old as time but I'll start with some history. A few years ago I met her through a mutual friend. We hung out a little then I asked her out for a date. She said no because she had a boyfriend. We went our separate ways and didn't keep in contact.
A few months ago she contacted me out of the blue. She had just broken up with her fiance and was trying to mend friendships she had lost along the way. I found this a little strange because we were never really close or had much in common. So we chatted quite frequently and as we got to know each other better we realised we had heaps in common. So naturally I asked her out on a date and she said no. She said she wasn't into me in that way. I was a little more hurt this time because she has all the qualities I look for in a partner. These qualities are also what I look for in a friend. I gave myself a few days to move on then went back to chatting with her pretty much every day. We hung out a couple of times and genuinely enjoy each others company.
A couple of weeks ago we went interstate for a holiday and expo. We stayed in the same room (different beds) and was around each other every minute for 4 days straight. We both had a great time. Unfortunately for me my feelings only got stronger. I know she's not into me but we get along so well I don't want to lose the friendship. I'm just venting and not really after any advice (although I'll take it). It just sucks because I constantly think about her and know that there's nothing more than friendship there. | I have feelings for my friend but she doesn't feel the same way. Dealing with my emotions is tough but I don't want to lose her as a friend. |
t3_az8ov | AskReddit | I get it, you hate [insert retarded policy/politician/ideology], what are YOU going to do about it? | So I surf the net. I hit up my favorite blogs like Daily Kos, read my news feeds like reddit/digg. Feels nice folks on the interwebs are aware of the struggle shitty policy/governing of the world and laugh at retarded things like right wing stupidity. You see Pallin up to her lil headline grabbers that make you facepalm. The recognition that a country is dominating another country through hypocritical unjust means.
Great. Now what? Take "action?" Make excuses? Leave it at that? Play the i-can't-do-anything-anyways card? Revel in the piece of news?
I think this should be in politics, but I'm curious to know the actions people have out there. Do people read this, nod in agreement, and leave it at that? For all the intellectual rhetoric people have out there, you'd it is being put to good use.
I'm an organizer/activist for my own cause of higher education. I do my shit, raise hell, do my rallies, spread awareness, ally myself with fair minded politicians via lobbying, and various other things. All that shit I do is a drop in the bucket to the things that others do and the troubles out there. It's not enough, I know, but I do what I do in my own powers and not let how futile, but still fruitful, my doings sometimes get to me. | You think you have a good sense of politics/policy/stupidity out there. Outside of this screen, what are you do you do about it? Or, are you ever going to do about it? |
t3_47i2rc | relationship_advice | [21/m] dating (20/f) everything went well but now she tells me that she isnt ready too date because of a relationship that ended sometime ago | Hey reddit,
i've met this amazing girl, we have been chatting like crazy for about a week and met last week for the first time. On the third date we were making out for an hour and she kept saying how she is into me and wants me and stuff. Well some hours after our fourth date she texted me, that she isnt ready for dating yet (because of a short but serious relationship she had) and that she doesnt want to date anybody at the moment.
Im really into her and didnt expect a text like that because it was so obvious that she is into me too. I dont really know what to do from her. She asked me to be a friends but idk if that really works. I was planning to get her to my apartment again and hope that we hit it off again but yeah...
Do you have any advice for me? What should i do? Just wait some time or forget her? | dated this girl that seemed really into me. After the fourth date she texted me, that she isnt ready to date yet. What should i do? |
t3_1v7dkx | relationships | I care too much about what people might think of my SO | I [26M] have an issue with caring about what other people might think of my SO. For example, with my ex-girlfriend, she was a really beautiful girl but she wasn't all that interesting to converse with so I didn't really introduce her to a lot of my friends. I guess you could say I was "ashamed" of her in a certain way. I started dating this new girl [28F] about 2 months ago and we're officially in a relationship now. She has an amazing personality, she's super caring, affectionate, really into me and treats me well. I think she's beautiful, but other people might not think she is the most good looking girl. A part of me says that I could date someone who is even better looking. I know it sounds shallow and I hate myself for even thinking about this but it's an issue that I'm struggling with internally. Why do I care about what other people might think of my SO? It should be about my happiness and her happiness. I need someone to put me in my place or at least change my mindset because it eats away at me. One part of me feels guilty for thinking this way, another part is happy because I'm dating an amazing person. | Why do I care so much about what other people might think of my SO? |
t3_2jor71 | relationship_advice | Girlfriend and church | So I'm an open atheist, I don't believe in a supreme being or God. My girlfriend is very religious and has strong religious views along with her family. I've talked about my religious views with her and she understands and accepts them. I've gone to church a couple times with her and her family and I felt super uncomfortable, super awkward, I felt like I didn't belong and didn't enjoy the time there but when they asked me how I liked it, I lied and said I enjoyed it I'm fear of me insulting their church in someway. Now every Sunday I get asked to go to church again and I keep denying it. Now her friends are texting me saying I should go, she'd really appreciate, her family would appreciate, but always see we aren't pushing you. The problem is I feel pushed, I feel as if I'm disrespecting their values, I feel like I'm doing something wrong, I feel as if they aren't respecting my religious views and that I don't feel comfortable worshiping something I don't believe in, I feel as though I'm being a bad boyfriend in someway now. Even though it's hard for me to go to church because I feel out of place and awkward and it's hard for me to worship a god while being an aetheist. I feel like she's been telling her friends to text me as well | girlfriend wants me to go to church, I don't believe/makes me uncomfortable and awkward. |
t3_3cf2q0 | Advice | How much should I charge for a custom business software | A friend has given me a chance to create a calculating software for his business. It's more of a business tool that can be considered as Non-recurring Engineering unless he changes all the machines he has. With this business tool, he'll be able to save time and allow other employees to take on a job that only he knew how to do, giving him less of a workload. I'm projecting this software to take 40-80 combined hours to complete depending on some new approaches (using different libraries and JAR files). I'll also be working with a partner.
How much should I charge? I'm on my last semester of school as a computer science undergrad, I do have internship experience in Software Development with an Agile team that has created and managed commercial software in java. I also have a partner who has graduated and is a SDE. | Good friend wants me to create software for his business |
t3_42hzig | tifu | TIFU by insulting my gf's entire family in front of them | Story time boys and girls, get yourself comfy.
Picture the scene. I'm at my girlfriend's family dinner thing and its my big chance to make a good impression of myself..
So she has a cousin, about 5 or 6, who I met today at this dinner.. She's being a loud obnoxious little shit and you'd punch her had she been older bc she's so annoying. There's nibbles on the table with some dips etc, she asks her dad if he can try some so I say 'do you wanna try some anaesthetic?' as a joke, but being a little shit she runs round the whole house screaming 'MUM CAN I TRY ANAESTHETIC???!!!!'. By this point i'm on the brink of shitting myself and running all the way home (quite a feat considering i recently sustained a serious knee injury).
But that isn't the best part...
My gf pulls me to one side and tells me that the kid's family think she has severe ADHD, but her they don't wanna get her tested/admit it because a) they're shit parents (sorry) and b) because they don't want her to be labelled at such a young age or something. Head in hands time for me; i'm a dreadful human being. Was fairly quiet for the rest of the day. | made a joke about my gf's cousin (who has ADHD) |
t3_423m23 | relationships | Me [23 M/] with my GF[20 /F] of 3 months, relationship struggles due to religion | So we've been dating for 3 months now and we have fought more times then a new relationship has. The worst fight was today. I hate my current job and I got denied three jobs I applied for all today. So of course I'm pretty down and upset.
Instead of her being their for me she states that my relationship with my religion is the reason why I'm not finding success. We believe in the same thing to an extent. I tell her I do it my way and basically that my was is why I'm in my current situation. I feel like she is being extremely disrespectful to me and not supporting me the way I expected. | GF says I won't be succesful because of my religion. |
t3_3hdtnf | relationships | I fucked up bad. (Work-related) Me (30) and boss (mid-30s). | I live and work in China. I had to make an emergency visit to the city of Tianjin recently before the recent tragic accident. And I instantly fell in love with the city, so I put in a request with my boss to move to the city as soon as possible.
Then the recent tragedy occurred.
And I met a girl in my current city.
Today my boss told me that she'd like me to move to Tianjin, but because of the recent tragedy and also meeting a rather beautiful girl, I told my boss that I would like to reconsider.
How badly did I fuck up?
She hasn't responded to me yet. | I flip-flopped after I personally made a request to move to a new city, but because of a catastrophic tragedy I don't feel safe going to it. How badly did I fuck up. |
t3_37eu55 | relationships | Me [31/F] with my former fiance [34/M] 7yrs, I'm ending the relationship. | My boyfriend proposed, which I thought I wanted, a few weeks back. I said yes. I flew home to be with friends and a few days into the vacation looked down and realized that I couldn't marry him. I had an epiphany. I told him right away how I felt. I moved out to make him more comfortable.
He's a good guy, but we have been having problems for about 5 years. I've been trying to just make it work, and he got lazy and complacent in the relationship. I just realized that I want to live life and do things, instead of being tied down to someone who is depressed and doesn't like to leave the comfort of home. I wish I realized this years ago, but sadly the ring made me question everything.
We own a home together and 2 pets. He is struggling with my decision. He wants to make it work and is promising me things that I've been asking for years. My rationale is that even if he did "make everything better" eventually we would fall back into the people and habits that we already grew accustomed with. I'm ready to move on, but he's having a hard time.
I've run out of things to say to him, but he keeps wanting more answers. I've asked him for space and he try's, but we end up talking on the phone all the time and he just wants to see me. I'm getting to the point where I feel like I'm starting to get mean, because I've run out of words.
Any advice would help. | Broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years. I don't know how to make him feel better about the situation. |
t3_2s6xar | tifu | TIFU By snapchatting the wrong person | So I was feeling lonely the other night. I recently got a "I like you but don't want to date you," from a nice girl and we hadn't talked in a while after that. So I sent a snapchat to another girl saying "I think I need a therapist." Little did I know I accidentally sent it to that girl. However, she actually responded to this snapchat through text with the words, "Why do you need a therapist when you can talk to Jesus?" Confused, I responded , "How would I talk to Jesus?" She said to just pray and he will listen. I asked how will I know he listened to me. She said he will send you a sign. Jokingly I said, "When will he do what I ask for by? Do I set a deadline for something?" She responded, "Yeah." I asked, "Will he be able to complete my prayer?" She said, "Considering he created the world in 7 days, I think he will be able to." So I asked what do I do in the meantime?" She told me to the read the bible. Jokingly I said, "I don't have a bible and I don't think Amazon can ship me a bible before my deadline." She says she can give me a bible. It was 10:30 at night and I thought she was joking. She then proceeds to ask, "Would like some tea with that also?" I responded, "Sure I would like that." Thinking all of this was a joke I forgot about it until 10 minutes later I get a text from her saying I'm here. I go outside my house in my pajama pants at 11:00 and she walks over and hands me a bible and some tea. I'm just like thank you. Little does she know that I don't know how to make tea. | Snapchatted the wrong person got a bible at 11 at night. |
t3_29awrf | relationships | Me [25F] w/ ex-bf [32 M] ~3yrs, difficulty getting old stuff back... | So my ex bf has some stuff of mine in storage. Some of it might be important, I don't remember exactly, but I would be stoked to have the chance to clear that up.
Thing is, he's a fairly flakey guy. I can forgive that, because, hey, so am I. The problem is that I've sent him a few messages over the past three years asking about it, and the only response I was able to get was "I should really find those keys..." The breakup was less dramatic than most, and while we left on good terms we haven't talked much otherwise. My last message about the storage items was ignored(I know because facebook).
So I come to you wise souls for advice: what is the best way to approach this problem? Is it appropriate to call him? Tattle on him to his mother? Let it go? I've tried to be non-demanding/invasive about it, because it feels like my problem, not his. I just really want my stuff back. | What is the most diplomatic way of getting my stuff back from an unresponsive ex-boyfriend? |
t3_3gv8yi | legaladvice | My boss is lying to our customers. Canada | Hey there guys! I have an issue I am hoping to get advice on. Its not a major issue I am just not sure how to deal with it. I am on mobile so please excuse formatting errors.
I work for a company that distributes a well know product. Lately this product has caused an up roar in the media due to the environmental implications of it. We advertise that we recycle this product and a lot of our customers use our services because we recycle it. It costs our company quite a bit of money to recycle it so recently my boss has decided not to.
I told my co worker that that is fraud and if anybody, be it the customers or the corporation, found out there would be hell to pay. I am the one who speaks to all the customers on a regular basis and this has put me in a tough spot. I am being forced to lie to customers and say yes we do recycle this product, when in reality they bring their stuff in and my co worker carries it out back and tosses it in the dumpster.
I am the only one in the office that this bothers and I am not sure what to do. I work in a very small office so if I was to go to anybody higher up it would be no secret.
Hopefully you guys can offer me some advice. Thanks! | my company advertises and keeps customers due to its recycling program. My boss thinks its too expensive so he just throws the product in the trash. |
t3_254g2y | relationships | [33m] How do you know when it's right to express yourself, and when it's not? | As someone who is naturally very inhibited, and with social anxiety, this is the question I often ask myself. I have plenty of regret for things I never said; never expressed in the past. My cowardice has led to lots of missed opportunity, and looking back I think, "If only I had just said what was on my mind."
As an attempt to come out of my shell, I've tried to stop doing that...and in some cases, ended up saying things I regret saying, and burned a few bridges. This is the case with both friendships and attempted relationships.
I feels soo hard to know. They say, "You regret the things you didn't do, not the things you did," but of course that's not the whole truth (I'm sure there are plenty of people in jail who regret the things they did). I'm thinking about sending a message to someone right now, with some thoughts I've had in my head for a while. I really have no idea if it's going to be a 'I'm happy I got it out there, I was so afraid but for no good reason,' or, 'God what an idiot I am for opening my mouth. I've totally ruined that relationship now too.'
You could say, "Only say things that aren't negative or hurtful," but that's not quite right either. Always holding back the negative leads to, 1. Holding on to a big bag of negative. 2. People not respecting you because you don't stand up for yourself when you feel wronged. 3. Not totally sharing yourself and developing really deep relationships where people know who you are.
So, what's the answer? Anyone have a good rule of thumb? | Regret things I never said. Tried saying things, now I regret the things I said. How do you know when it's a good idea to express yourself? |
t3_1yv4tz | relationships | Am I [22F] expecting too much of my boyfriend [24M] in our long-distance relationship? | My boyfriend and I met in high school and have been dating for 4 years now. Three of these years I've been away at a college three hours away from him. In the past we usually took turns visiting each other every month and also skyping and texting often. But in the last year he has started a new job that is M-F 9-5 and also has classes M-T 7-9pm. So he hasn't been visiting me. At all this school year.
We keep getting into the same argument every other week about how he won't visit me. It upsets me because I'm driving 3 hours every month to see him but he isn't willing to do the same. I feel like I am putting more time and effort into the relationship than he is.
I don't know if I'm overreacting or not. Everything else about the relationship is great and when we are together its all sunshine and butterflies. But there is a small, selfish part of me that wants to say you need to visit or else this relationship isn't going to work... | My boyfriend of four years never visits me up at college even though I visit him often and I feel hurt that I put more into the relationship than he does. |
t3_3frdol | relationships | Me [20 M] broke up with my ex-GF [20 M] 3+ Months ago. Felt a little lonely today! | So my ex-GF left me around 3 months ago (12/May/2015), I was going strong until today. I had been following -
1. No contact
2. Deleted all Photos
3. Deleted all messages and chats
But today, she updated her WhatsApp photo and in that photo she was just staring into the photo and face was very lit up, reminded of her being with me (something triggered inside me).
Felt a little lonely for a moment or so, was able to cope it, but the feeling was not pretty.
She left with a reason "I don't have feelings for you anymore", I took it as problems were between us since last 6-7 months, but I sometimes get screwed over and I want some answers; today is one of those days. | How can I keep going strong, if my ex-GF left me? I want to move on, but something holds me back at times. |
t3_u2xvo | jobs | Applying to job at a company which was a former client on a project I worked on at my current company....Do I reach out to my contacts from that project? | Just wondering if it would be a good idea to call/send an e-mail to the person I worked with at this company (though he works in a different office than the one I am applying to) to let him know I applied.
I worked with him directly for ~8 months maintaining weekly and sometimes daily correspondance on project progress (environmental engineering remediation project). He would be a decent reference for my work ethic and quality of work for that project, but I'm not sure internally within this company I applied to how much, if anything, he could do.
I am qualified for the position so I may not NEED him, but I figured it couldn't hurt. I just don't want to put him in an uncomfortable position if he couldn't do much.
FYI - I work for the same company I was with where he was a client, I am looking for a new job because my current employer is not developing me the way I'd like to be, so I'm looking for new opportunities. Albeit, my current position is not in jeopardy.
Thanks for any input you can offer! | read the title :) |
t3_nupuy | AskReddit | Where does the United States find the moral superiority to decry Iran? The United States is responsible for destroying democracy in Iran. | There are a few very good reasons for why Iran is the way that it is. Most of which Britain and namely the United States are responsible for.
- Iran had a democracy during the 1950s. The United States and Britain carried out Operation Ajax, the overthrow of the democratically elected government to install a man jailed during the second world war for being a Nazi. The United States essentially created the SAVAK, a notoriously inhumane secret police force which tortured and killed tens of thousands. The United States installed a dictatorship to further its own ends.
- The United States helped Saddam acquire and employ chemical weapons against Iran during the Iran-Iraq war en-mass(amongst other things). Despite the fact that Iraq started the war the United States decried Iran and gave Saddam a back-massage(still angry that their dictatorship got other-thrown). Weapons of Mass Destruction were used heavily against Iran killing tens of thousands. It was sanctioned and made possible by the United States.
And then people wonder why Iran is the way that it is... I know that if I was in charge of Iran the first thing I would do is throw all the money at the development of a nuclear weapon. Seriously, Iran has been demonized, attacked and ravaged by the West for a good party of a century. What other way does it have to protect its self? Become a slave-state?
The United States has no moral high-ground whatsoever. None, zero, zilch. The United States overthrew a democratic government and installed a fascist dictatorship which it nurtured. There is nothing morally defensible about this.
It sickens me, the amount of ignorant, simplistic statements made around here on reddit in regards to Iran.
Suggested reading - [1] | Poor Iran, Fuck you America. |
t3_1wv3et | AskReddit | Should I stay or should I go? | I have to go to university out of town next year, as only one university has my program. That being said, I'm really doubting myself on leaving. I love my family so much, I have an amazing relationship with my dad, we have lots of interesting conversations, listen to jazz together, and watch the same movies and tv shows. As well as my wonderful grandparents who care for me. I can't imagine it all leaving next year, I don't think I'll be able to do it. I could stay here for the first year, but my town is a cold shithole, and all my friends would be gone and I'd be miserable, and the university is pretty low quality (education wise it's good, but the quality of students that attend is very low, as their admissions are the bare minimum). If I leave I'll be happy, but away from my family 8 months out of 12 and be miserable then. I'm sorry this is so long I think I just want to talk to somebody, I don't know what to do and I'm really stressing myself out... :(
Should I stay or should I go? | if I go to school out of town, I'll be miserable away from my family, of I stay in town I will be miserable in this cold shithole, and all my friends gone out of town. |
t3_yumep | AskReddit | Reddit, What was YOUR moment? | I am really not a good story-teller so sorry before-hand if this is not much of an interesting story.
just moved into my dorm at NYU and was feeling rather depressed because all my friends and family were back home. i tried to look around my dorm to see if anything would comfort me but only caught my sax-o-phone. Just a sax-o-phone, nothing more, nothing less.
All my life, i have always been discriminated, always made fun of for either reading or just doing whatever. But, everyone has their own stress relievers, and mine was the sax-o-phone. I would play for hours just to myself because no one would listen, playing notes and songs that portrayed my emotions at the time.
Back to the story, so I looked at my sax-o-phone and just this one time, just this once, i wanted someone to hear me, i just wanted someone to hear me just once, then i guess i would probably be somewhat happy. So, i took my sax-o-phone, took the elevator to the 19th floor of my building. walked around the dorm and found the stairs that opened to the roof of the building. I went outside, and i noticed i was crying. I was on top of the world, i could see the city before me, the moon high above me, and the loneliness in me. i was going to be living here for four years. Me, against the world i thought, just me. i closed my eyes, let the elements flow through me, and i started to play. i played until some people opened their windows to listen, i played until some people opened their windows to yell at me, i played for the streets below me, i played for the city before me. For the first time in my life, i was genuinely happy. Not happy because I played the saxaphone on top of the building of what felt like the world, but happy just because someone would listen. thats all. | played my heart out on the sax-o-phone on top of my dorm building. |
t3_z8vks | dating_advice | No contact after first date. 27/m, 24/f | I had a first date with a girl I chatted on OK Cupid with about a week and a half ago. I was incredibly nervous about making a first impression.
She and I picked a restaurant to meet at for dinner and spent a good 3 hours drinking, eating, and chatting. There was rarely a lull in conversation and we stayed until the restaurant closed. I walked her to her car and said good night and asked if she'd like to do something again. She said she would and that I could text her.
I waited a couple days and texted her to ask how her weekend was and she gave me a one word response and left it at that. I was out of town at the time and decided to wait until I returned home to contact her again about a second date.
A week after the first date I sent her a simple message asking if she had seen a movie we talked about at dinner and I didn't even get a response. I thought it may have just been overlooked or forgotten about so I decided (after counseling from friends) after 2 or 3 more days to send her one more with a direct invitation to drinks. Still no response.
So, Reddit. Should I get used to this kind of response after a first date from women I meet online? It kills me to think about putting myself through this again, especially when it was my first date after being on a dating website for six months. | I thought my first date in years went well, but now she won't return my texts. |
t3_2e4mlv | relationships | Me [19M] with my GF [15F] of 3 years. Any advice on peer pressure? | *Note that by peer pressure I don't mean friends of either of us. They truly support us.*
I am being pressured by some people to dump her and move on, as if she doesn't have the capability to "love" yet. I've never faultered, but the pressure has been on my mind recently. I have talked to her about it and she feels, just as I do, that it does not really matter what others think.
And then someone says that a 15-y-o should be at home playing with barbies. It really brings her down everytime and it makes me sad too.
Although they were not okay with it at first, my parents support us, as do her parents. We get along really well.
I am a financially stable student with plans to get my own place after finishing my baccalaureate; currently on my second year with excellent scores.
We don't live together, but we meet regularly and often.
Before you ask -- yes, we are intimate in our relationship. We took time to understand the moment of when we feel that we are ready.
If you do try to tell me that this does not feel right to you, then please do not quote or rely on your local laws. I am very well aware of each and every one of them regarding our relationship.
I also understand that in a few years she'll be 18 and suddenly, no one bats an eye anymore.
Please ask for any extra information. Keep in mind that English is not my first language.
*I'd only leave her if it would make her life better, and she is happy with me. | I'm not really sure on how to react to people who think our relationship is "wrong". Would you consider this relationship an healthy one and why? |
t3_1jafir | relationship_advice | My [f 20] boyfriend [m 21] hasn't really introduced me to a lot of his friends and it bothers me. | We've been dating for 5 months, and I haven't met a lot of my boyfriend's friends. He has introduced me to a lot of his friends from university, and has taken me to a few parties there, but he hasn't introduced me to his friends from his home town--only one who I got along well with. He has talked about his friends from home a lot (he goes to uni in the next city from where he's from) but has yet to introduce me to them.
I on the other hand, have introduced him to pretty much all my friends and he is pretty much integrated into my social circle-- which I don't mind at all, I like it. I talked to him the other night saying that I feel upset and hurt that he hasn't really introduced me to his friend's from home. He apologized and said that he is going to work to fix this issue and said that a lot of his friends are just hard to get together, but he's working on a get together. He told me today he is planning a get together for next weekend when I told him I was still upset about the issue.
I'm looking forward to this whole get together, but I am wondering where to go from there if it doesn't happen? Not meeting his friends is a deal breaker for me-- I have not expressed this to him yet because I want to give him a chance with this whole get-together thing, but I'm wondering if it's a bad thing that I may possibly leave him if I don't meet his friends within the next two months.
I need advice, I'm pretty confused and still upset about the situation. | Bf of 5 months -- nearly 6 months-- has yet to introduce me to a lot of his friends from home. I feel hurt because I have integrated him into my group of friends-- and I expressed this to my boyfriend who says he is now trying to arrange a get-together with his friends. Personally, not meeting my boyfriend's friends is a dealbreaker for me and always has been. I'm looking for advice on what to do here. |
t3_3kaizm | relationships | Me [21 F] with guys I'm dating [20-26 M's]. | I'm recently out of a 5 year relationship that broke for reasons that where no one's fault. But now I don't know what to do with some guys I'm dating.
I am dating 4 guys:
Brian [25M]
Troy [26M]
James [20M]
Andrew [20M]
When I met these guys I told them all that I am dating other men and that if they date other girls just be honest with me. I told them I would be 100% honest if they ask me about other men and I expect the same. They all said they were okay with this.
Brian recently caught feelings for me and I told him I could not get serious with him so I think that will be over soon and Andrew is fine with the situation, we're still doing good. The problem is with James and Troy.
I went on a date with Troy last night and he said that he wants us to be monogamous. He said that he was getting more serious feelings and invited me to a family event.
Today I had a date with James who said he had feelings for me and wanted to be with me. And couldn't see why if I liked him I would be dating other guys. (Hypocritical when he had a hickey on his neck - however he did say that he did that to try and downplay our dating, feelings wise and I do believe him, they also didn't have sex.)
These are perfectly valid feelings and I understand where they are coming from but I do like both men. They are amazing guys, however I am not really ready to be exclusive as I've just gotten out of such a long term thing.
Now my dilemma is I would love to keep seeing both guys and see where it goes but I do not want to hurt them. I also feel like soon they will make me choose whether I want them exclusively or not.
So relationships what are my options!? What can I do? Is it possible to date them and not be exclusive yet or should I choose between them? Or should I leave them all? | 5 year relationship *poof* dating now, what do I do about men who want to be exclusive? |
t3_17x905 | relationships | Does my best friend 21 (M) Gf (18) like me 20 (M) | So where to start... My Friend has been dating this girl for about 1 1/2 months and its tough on me to hang out with him now because im in love with her. My friend is fully aware that i like her which makes it even harder and i just dont know what to do. The relationship that he's in with her is primarily sexual/physical because i never see them able to hold a deep conversation for long, she even found out he was "sexting" with other girls and he just got a slap on the wrist.
One night she was upset with him and we talked for a good 3-4 hours until the early morning and i comforted her (talking to her, Massaging her shoulders, Wiping her tears) and we eventually fell asleep next to each other in the same bed. We even went out to a hookah bar (Just the two of us and it was her idea) an he sent a text to her just saying she should date me (Out of jealousy) but nothing came of that, Then the next day its like she wasnt upset at all.
(Note She did not have a problem with me seeing her in her underwear and bra when we were in the room together and she was changing.)
We text back an forth all the time and we can talk on the phone for long periods of time. I even broke the question regarding us an she told me she has her sights already set on my friend. (Not sure if she said that because she doesnt feel comfortable leaving my friend for me or because she doesnt like me that way.)
Even after I told her that I like her, an she kinda turned me down she still intiates texts with me, asking me what I'm up to etc. She even talks to me about her boyfriend (Could she be doing this to make me jealous?) What do you guys and gals think?
**bold | Does My best friends girlfriend who i like interested in me as well? **bold** |
t3_wo4kk | AskReddit | I'm a female who tried anal sex for the first time last night. What did I do wrong? How can I do it right? | So, as stated, I'm a female. I'm twenty two years old. This is a throw-away account, of course. My boyfriend and I had been talking about trying anal (I told him I didn't really have any reservations. I have lots of friends who love it, and you can't knock it until you've tried it, right?) He enjoys being penetrated, himself, and I hope to get more than a finger in there in the future, so I thought it would be the perfect bargaining chip if I let him in the backdoor.
Here's the thing: ...I know we used the wrong lube. All we have is that warming KY jelly. I've used this on him, and he had no complaints. But when I tried to lube myself up with the stuff it burned like hell. ....Like...not in a pleasant melty way. Just...fucking....burning. But I continue, because I want to do this, and he's obviously hyped for it. We try for a good long time to get him in (because the lube burned, I didn't bother with much preparatory work...) but it just wasn't taking. Eventually, there's this sort of....silent pop. Like...all of the sudden he's through that first ring of muscle and I'm just like "NOPE NOPE NOPE." and I push him back and out. Then I tell him not to touch me for a bit because I need to have a little cry. It was bad. ...Still can't quite sit comfortably today. That's how bad. | Used warming KY for lube, didn't do much prep, only got the head in, SEARING PAIN. |
t3_wj10c | AskReddit | What kind of foreign policy would you have preferred the US to take after WW2? Why? | Coming from a US citizen, I would have preferred isolation. Not because the US acted evil (and regardless of how much good they could have done), but because I simply don't think dealing with the rest of the world results in a net positive. Korea, Vietnam, Iraq (twice), Afghanistan, all of it has a cost, and all of it could have been avoided if we simply ignored it. Interacting with the rest of the world is just one big liability that far exceeds the benefits.
The US could have just disbanded the army, disassembled the navy and kept the nuclear arsenal and would have been better off for it.
It's not as if I don't believe in democracy and human rights, it's just I don't believe the US can make them happen. | For me, isolation. |
t3_md0db | AskReddit | Being overbilled a large amount for reasons that were not my fault | Ok, some backstory.
First off, I live in Middlesex County, New Jersey. I am not a native.
Early this year, we had our apartment tested for mold, due to us getting horrible respiratory problems (I had bronchitis 3 times in a row... caused my voice to change from the coughing). It tested positive, and the apartment made us move into a similar unit on our dime (although did not charge us rent for that month).
We moved in early July. Our first thing we noticed was that -we had no air conditioning- -- the unit didn't work. So we left it off. We sent out maintenence requests about every 3 days until mid-August, when it was finally repaired.
Now, I am unemployed. I don't make enough currently to pay all my bills. I've been mildly ignoring electric from | I'm getting overbilled due to either the power company's or my landlord's mistake by nearly $1000 |
t3_3o472q | tifu | TIFU by making fun of a double amputee | I was reminded of this FU by an ad for the Ronald McDonald House, a charity that helps families in need. A couple years back, I was a drug rep, driving to doctors offices all day, telling them how my drugs are great, and they should write my drugs for their patients. Yes, I fully agree that it is a completely fucked up industry and I am glad to be out of it. Anyway, part of my job involved going to pharmacies and make sure they have my stuff on shelves, know the coupons, etc. Well on my way into a local pharmacy, a young woman with a table full of coloring books and pamphlets walked up to me and asked if I'd like to make a donation to the Ronald McDonald House by buying a coloring book. I've seen the donation bins at the McD's drive thu, and honestly I thought it was all bullshit because I've never known anyone who has actually benefited from it before. So, I went ahead and told exactly that:
"I think Ronald McDonald Charities is a sham, and in case it isn't, I dump my 17 cents change in there so I don't have a ton of small change."
She looks at me like the asshole I was, and says, "Well, I've benefited from it. I was in a bad car accident, and was even in a coma for a few weeks. My family couldn't afford my healthcare or housing. They helped us out."
"Really? So you're alive and kicking because of them?"
".....yeah. Sort of." Then she taps on the thighs of her pants legs and I realize she's got both artificial legs.
I donated out of shame. | Asked a charity worker if she was alive and kicking thanks to a charity, turns out she had artificial legs. |
t3_1c4mik | dating_advice | Telling her [19F] I like her - yes or no? [18M, never been in a relationship before] | To give a brief background summary:
* Known this girl since 2011
* Friends since probably around the start of '12
* Probably started taking an interest in her later that year
* Decided I'm quite fond of her in the past 1-2 months
* There's a chance she might like me back, I can't be completely certain
* We typically see each other quite a bit in our weekly routines (eg; on trains, at church etc)
* We've been out together a couple of times, although some (or perhaps all) of those instances could be considered "catching up", rather than dating.
* She came out of a rather short-lived relationship around what I **think** might have been early last month. (I'm not sure how long it was, but it was short enough that I didn't even know they were together. She didn't seem too phased by the breakup).
|
Anyway, I went and visited her at her university today and asked if she wanted to get lunch next week, to which she agreed. Now, I've been wondering when (and if) I should make it clear that I do have a keen interest in her. I really would like to get to know her a lot better, and figure that this lunch next week would be a good time to take that step.
That being said, the mid-semester exam period is approaching for university, so things could get a bit hectic with that.
**So, my question is:** Is it appropriate that I convey my feelings? Is it an appropriate time to do so? Would it be better to wait until after mid-semester exams?
Oh, and even if she doesn't reciprocate the same feelings (which wouldn't bother me too much), would it still be worth pursuing her? | Is it a good idea to convey my feelings to someone ~1 month out of a short relationship, just before mid-semester exams? |
t3_3yhnmr | relationships | TL;DR; I (19F) have been dating my boyfriend (18M) for almost 3 years and don't know if I should continue | We started dating sophomore year in high school. We go to the same color now (did not pick the same one because of each other). Things have been going great but the only thing that's holding me back is that I'm his first girlfriend. I was his first kiss, first in bed, etc. I have had other relationships before but nothing serious. He was my first in bed too.
My mom keeps telling me that I should play the field more and try new things because I'm a freshman in college. There are no problems in our relationship and I could possibly see marrying him in the distant future. But I don't want to regret not trying new things while in college and experiencing things I wouldn't be able to with my boyfriend. What should I do? | I (19F) have been dating my boyfriend (18M) for almost 3 years and don't know if I should continue |
t3_3pkuhm | relationships | Any way to get my dad [63 M] to try online dating? | I just think it'd be nice if he had a life companion of some sort (he lives alone), but he rarely gets out of the house since he's a programmer and he programs from home. I think online dating might be the best way for him to meet someone who is somewhat intelligent and shares his interests, but he seems to just brush it off like he's too lazy or doesn't care enough. Is there some way I can get him to try online dating or should I just leave him alone? Also, which sites are good for people of his age/intelligence? | Would like ideas/sites to get my dad to try online dating! |
t3_2s5nww | relationships | Passionless year long relationship? [18m/f] | I [18m] have been dating my girlfriend [18] for a little over a year. I am the only boyfriend she's had, as well as her first kiss. She's the first girl I've ever dated for more than two months.
Before and for about six months into our relationship I was passionate, maybe a little naive, and I like to think a romantic. She was never this way (which we attributed at first to trust issues with men). She says that she shows love in different ways, and it seems that we have very different definitions of passion.
I love her and she's in love with me, but for the past few months I've been bored. Not just bored, I feel trapped. The sex is good, but there's little emotional romanticism. I've gone through several stints of depression while being with her, and I've started thinking being with her may be the cause of it. I feel that I'm losing a big part of myself in this relationship. I used to think that tomorrow would always be better, but now when I think of a future with her it kills me a little.
The thing is she's perfectly happy in this relationship. She says she's content and thinks its a very good thing. I keep thinking, "What if this feeling I have is just contentment? What if this is just how long term relationships are?" There isn't really anything inherently bad about this relationship, but it doesn't feel like it should.
We don't have any shared interests at all, and it seems we have very different priorities but we both love spending time with the other. I really don't know what to do. Whenever I'm with her I'm usually happy, but when I'm alone I get the urge to break up with her. Any input would be appreciated. Am I being stupid for wanting to break up with her for no tangible reason? She still wants this relationship to keep going and I feel terrible about not wanting it anymore, but nothing seems to have changed.
AHHHH relationship gurus please help. | I've grown cynical and after a year I've lost hope of passion coming into this relationship. |
t3_2r8pjm | relationships | Update: My bf (22M) and I (22F) broke up because he was too afraid to tell his family about me | Original:
2nd post:
His week back home just ended and he's on a plane back to the city where he works.
He tells me today that he never managed to bring it up to his family, which means that the relationship is over. I can't be with someone who wasn't willing to try, someone who wasn't willing to fight his family on this, someone who chose his parents happiness over his own, someone who is so indecisive he waited until the last minute to tell me, and someone who whose family has no idea I even exist.
All he keeps saying is that he wants to be with me and that he wants to try but he needs to figure out a way to try without telling his family. That is not how relationships work. You don't try because you feel you owe it to someone who travelled across the world and dropped thousands of dollars to be with you...you try because you legitimately want to be with this person.
He just boarded his second flight home and he's like "we will talk later"...I'm not entirely sure whats left to talk about...he wasn't man enough to face his family and fight for the person he claims to love...makes me wonder if he ever actually cared | we broke up |
t3_2ehjif | relationships | Me [25 M] with my best friend [26 F] of 13 years, I think I might need to do a "friend breakup" because I am pretty dumbly in love with her and she has a boyfriend of 4 years and it hurts me, but she has helped me so much with my mental health | I have had an amazing friend for a while and I have fallen for her and I don't know if I can take it. I suffer from Bipolar disorder and she has been there helping me through it all, but she has a boyfriend of near 4 years. Over the course of time that she has helped me, I have fallen for her and I have seen what an amazing, amazing person is and we have both become emotionally vulnerable with one another.
Unfortunately for me, she has been in a long term relationship for a while and it seems that I have been a point of contention in their relationship occasionally and I hate feeling like I am a problem in the relationship with them as I want her to be happy. I don't know what to do, she has been my friend for so long and still is, and I don't really have anybody else because of my mental state and I'm not really sure what to do.
Is it healthy for me to cut off all ties with her and feel alone? I don't know what is better for my mental state. She is so kind to me and I know she cares for me and we both enjoy one another so much. I can't figure out what to do. If I cut ties with her, I know it would worry her that I am regressing, but I can't seem to make myself just fall out of love with her. She is the only person I have ever felt this way about and it hurts so badly, I am crying while I type this out just thinking of losing her.
She talks about us in the long term, like we will grow old together and stuff but I don't know if I could do that, talks about wanting me to be a part of her life and her kids. | I'm Bipolar and have a friend that has helped me out through it all, though I have fallen in love with her, but she has a boyfriend of 4 years. She and I get along great and are very open with one another but I'm not sure if I can take it anymore and I'm not sure if it would be damaging to my mental state to either cut her out or to keep her in. |
t3_2u74do | tifu | TIFU by sleeping on the train. | Dear Reddit, today I fucked up! To be completely honest, this happened a couple of days ago.
I commute by train on a daily basis to get to and back from work. The train takes about an hour which gives me plenty of time to catch up on some sleep before and after work.
I work in the biggest city of my country so when the train leaves after work, it is pretty full. By the time I get off, however, the wagons are usually rather empty. I usually end up sharing the wagon with about 3 to 5 people by the time the train reaches my stop.
So, this day was no different than any other day, I got on the train after work, took a seat, isolated myself from the outside world by putting on my headphones and dozed off.
Everything was going well and I was having a dream where I was inside a skyscraper for some reason I don't remember.
Now, there's something you should know; Right before we reach the stop where I usually get off, we always pass a rough piece of the trail (probably a switch) where the train gets a bit shaky (comparable to mild turbulence)...
You might see this coming but as I was dreaming through the shaky part of the train ride, my brain translated the shaking to an earthquake in my dream. I was in a skyscraper so I panicked and was yelling because I thought the building was going to collapse. At this point I suddenly wake up and yell "EARTHQUAAAAKE".
...
Silence. I start realising I'm not in a skyscraper but I'm in a train. With people. Each of them looking at me with big eyes like I was some kind of mad person, except for this one kid who started laughing hysterically. So yeah, TIFU by thinking there was a massive earthquake.
I see most of these people at least once a week as they take the same train as me. It's going to be awkward seeing them again. | woke up yelling "EARTHQUAAAAKE" in a train with strangers around me. |
t3_hq8iz | AskReddit | Maybe the females of Reddit can enlighten me about this... | So my best friend, lets call him Herp, dates girls without dating them. Confused? What I mean is he is always engaged in a relationship with a girl for long periods of time in a very similar fashion to dating someone but avoiding the bad parts. Its similar to a open relationship but in a one sided manner. I mean he gets all the pros, like sex in a regular basis, to go out with her when he wants and have the usual girlfriend perks but none of the cons, like hitting on other girls, not spending time with her when he doesn't feel liek it and not having to answer to anyone about his actions. The female parts are in theory allowed to do the same things but since they seem to want a more serious relationship they don't.
By now you must be thinking "What a jerk!", but he is not really. Its funny because he isn't very good at flirting but hes good looking and funny enough that he doesn't need to. The key to his sucess is that he actually treats women well, better than most boyfriends and is pretty honest about it his intentions and actions.
I always tought that these females were those girls that are somewhat gullible, but recently he started "dating" my female best friend, and she is actually a pretty smart girl about this sort of thing, for instance she dumped her last boyfriend the first time he talked to her in a rude manner. She actually likes him, but Herp already told her that he has not intention of dating her. Even so she stills go out with him. She probably thinks that she can change him, just like the last 2 girls... | Does women think they change a guy when everything points out to the other way around? |
t3_3cep2a | relationships | I (15m) have broken up with my girlfriend (17f) and am now at a crossroads. Help needed. | So I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 months last week. Since then she's been calling me a lot and asking why she wasn't good enough for me and so on.
I have been responding to her texts and calls because I still care for her and don't like to see her upset.
Today, I was at a female friends (15f) house. We were just hanging out and chatting about what had happened and how me and my ex were coping.
We are in her basement when we begin kissing. We sit and listen to music and kiss a couple more times.
She admits that she has feelings for me.
When I get home I have a total breakdown and start bawling my eyes out. I had no idea what to do. I knew I still cared for my ex and a part of me still wants to be with her. She has said on multiple occasions since we broke up that she still wants to be together.
The main problem is, me and my girlfriend were in love but I didn't feel ready to be in such a serious relationship. Also with recurring depression I didn't feel ready. While I was at a canada day party I kissed said female friend while me and said ex were still dating. Felt awful and felt morally inclined to end things, among other reasons listed above. (Depression, ADD) Now to girls both have feelings for me, one is the first girl I've ever loved and one is the most interesting and unique girl I've ever met. I have absolutely no idea where I should be going from here. | I am in between two girls, one being an ex I still have serious feelings for, and one being an incredibly interesting and creative girl that I worry I will eventually have feelings for. I cannot tell wether this is a classic situation of always wanting what you don't have, or if me and my ex really are meant to be. |
t3_197eeg | GetMotivated | So I deactivated my facebook account yesterday... (x-post from /r/getstudying) | After reading some suggestions on how to get myself to study the things I need to study when I need to study them, I got rid of a HUGE distraction to my day. The personal stories on facebook, though sometimes entertaining, has done me little good in the real world. Everyone I hang out with regularly already communicate with me through a phone number, and 300+ other people that were on my friends list are connected by an average of 3 people that have their phone numbers...I can get in touch with them if I really need to.
After 24 hours of this, I have already found that the internet is significantly less distracting. I finished up a paper, studied early for an approaching math test, and now have enough free-time/motivation to write this post.
My goal is to keep my facebook deactivated indefinately. I would say I will come back to it eventually, but I know better of what will happen: I will just get distracted again. It seems that everyone (including myself) has/had a tailor-made excuse of why they *need* facebook. Just try it, for at least 24 hours. Write a wall post explaining to your friends that you aren't rage-quitting but doing it for the betterment of your ego. They'll understand. It'll also make you look more noble to that one really cute chick on your page that you run into on campus all the time. Now you have an excuse to grab her number (though that may turn out to be more distracting than facebook). | I deactivated my facebook page yesterday, and I find myself significantly less distracted by the internet. |
t3_42v6ib | tifu | TIFU by throwing a snowball | I was walking home from the library after some intense physics studying, feeling pretty good. I jog a little bit, and throw a few snowballs because it's dark and why not. Im walking next to a house surrounded by bushes and I see a garbage can on the curb about 15 feet in front of me. I like to think I'm a bit like Steph curry so I quickly make a small, dense snowball. I harmlessly toss it towards the garbage and last second I see a person walk out of the bushes to throw out their trash. Well you can probably guess what happens next. The snowball hits this bitch right on her hood and she glares at me for a good 5 seconds. I try to avoid eye contact at all costs and as I'm walking past her she mumbles something. Glad she didn't get her husband or something. | lady fucks up my silky jump shot |
t3_lbmua | AskReddit | Reddit, what was your most traumatic experience in an Amusement Park? | Ill start off with mine. I was in Disney Land once (when i was 6) with my extended family. Everyone wanted to go to some go-kart thing which i dont remember about, except for me. We went through a huge crowd and i saw Buzz Lightyear. I was so enthralled about the sheer cool-ness of Buzz that I stayed and looked at him for a bit. Before i knew it, I couldn't find my parents, or any of my extended family members. After I realized how big Disneyland was I immediately start to cry under my shirt because my parents could me anywhere. I stayed there for a good three hours (or so it felt like it) until i found my Dad and Uncle. To this day, I'm reluctant to go to any amusement park. | I was lost for 3 hours at Disney Land Because of Buzz Lightyear. |
t3_53q4lk | relationships | Waiting for her [17f] to text me first [17m]: Strategically wise? | So this girl and I have been talking for almost two months, and things have been going great - we have a lot of things in common, we've really hit it off (in-person and through texting), and we've both expressed strong interest through mutual friends. We've also talked about our interest in each other briefly. However, we haven't really defined the relationship. I've never really understood the power game in relationships, so I'm kind of at a loss on this one: is there ever a circumstance that it'd be wise to intentionally wait for her to text first? We usually go back and forth with doing so, but several of my friends recommended that I make her text first, so I can "control the relationship." What do you guys think? | Things are going pretty well with my crush, but my friends say I need to "take control" - start making her come to me. Some of it sounds valid, but I don't know for sure. |
t3_1zl8js | relationships | Found out my (23F) boyfriend (23M) lied to me about his last job | My boyfriend and I are supposed to be moving out of state this summer. I have a full time job and would be moving for another job. He has been looking for a job to help pay for expenses, but hasn't had any luck so far.
When we first met, he was working about a half hour from home. He told me he was laid off due to lack of work. I found out this evening from his mom that he actually just stopped going to work. She said they called her one day asking if he was okay. They said he hadn't been to work and wasn't answering his phone. He had also told her that he was laid off, so when she asked him why he lied he said the thruway driving made him anxious. He had worked for that company for a few months.
His mom asked me not to mention this to him. She thought I already knew. How do I approach my boyfriend about this? It has been about 8 months since he'd been "laid off" and I can't just tell him his mom told me because I don't want to lose her trust. I also don't want to move in with someone who doesn't want to hold a job and help with money. | Boyfriend stopped showing up to work and got fired. His mom told me, thinking I already knew. I have to move in with him, out of state, in a few months. |
t3_151ljf | relationship_advice | [20/F] My boyfriend [20/M] had his heart broken before we were dating, but is still friends with her. Help? | During the previous year, this girl strung my now boyfriend along for quite the ride. He did everything he could to make her happy, including doing everything he could to fix her relationship with the guy she ditched him for. I also know that before she started dating someone else, they were super close and I don't know how far things went. Her rejection practically destroyed him and as his friend at the time it really hurt to see him going through something I've had plenty of experience with.
Fast forward a few months, we start dating. He admitted to not being completely over her and since I was just coming out of a particularly unhealthy relationship, I was cool with it. However, once we actually started to go to functions as a couple,I started to see just what I was dealing with. As soon as she and her boyfriend would show up, I would get ditched in a corner while he talked almost exclusively to her. I would try to involve myself in the conversations, but she would almost immediately shut me out. A few times, I left to go to the restroom only to come back to him hugging her. I talked to him about it and how that made me feel and, instead of changing his behavior, we stopped going to parties.
Now we've been dating for almost three months and he's told me that he loves me and I really believe him and I love him back. But I can't even go on Facebook without seeing comments he's made on her posts *while* we were hanging out and he's almost always texting her. I'm trying to not let it bother me, but I've dated enough emotionally abusive assholes that I can't help but feel nervous about this. I want to ask him if he's still hung upon her, but I don't want to cast doubt on our relationship so early. | My boyfriend might still have feelings for the girl who broke his heart and I'm not sure how to cope with that. |
t3_21lzv2 | tifu | TIFU by forgetting to knock while cleaning bathrooms. | I was closing and my manager asks me to clean the bathrooms. It was late, I was tired and there were hardly any customers. I'm walking back and forth between bathrooms, so casually because no one is in the place.
I leave the men's restroom for ONE SECOND to get the broom. I burst in, look to my right and there is this **FUCKING HOT GUY TAKING A PISS. HOLY FUCK.**
I backed out immediately (walking backwards too) and literally said "Fucking nope. Nope. I'm done. I quit."
Now, I'd be okay if it were a complete stranger. But it was an *attractive* guy that plays MTG in the restaurant all the time. When he came back, his face was as red as a beet and it was the most awkward thing in my life. Before that, I had finally worked up the courage to talk to him without his friends around and the next minute, I'm walking in on him while he's holding his dick. | Forgot to knock, saw his cock. |
t3_34fd9p | tifu | TIFU by creating a mouse macro | So exams are coming up and my mum is satan and forces me to do 3 hours revision a night?!?! However I realise that I do need to do the work as I am by no means smart however some days I don't feel like doing any work, I'm sure you all know the feeling. So instead I go on my laptop and "work". Now I usually work in the study and the door is behind me so anyone who comes through the door can see the screen straight away.
My "working" has resulted in a couple of close calls and almost getting caughta so recently I created a mouse macro to "alt+f4" so I can close reddit instantly with a single button.
This had been going well until I did this on my work... My mum saw that I hadn't been woking and now I am being forced to work in the kitchen were she can see, fml! | alr+f4 macros are not a good idea |
t3_e4b0d | relationship_advice | Bad with titles. RA help me with my relationship please! | I've been dating this girl for over a year now. We're both the same age, in our early 20s. This is her first relationship and it definitely shows. We started out as friends (she said I was her best friend at the time) but I forced myself to man up and told her how I felt. She put off responding to that for a few months but finally agreed to start dating last summer. When I'm with her I am unbelievably happy. We can spend hours talking about nothing in particular. But I've been sort of unhappy with the relationship for a while now for a number of reasons.
1. She's never once taken the effort to surprise me with anything that shows me she cares. I know I'm being selfish and shouldn't expect things like that but I feel like I'm always going out of my way to think of nice things to do for her.
2. I feel like we only talk or hang out because I want to. She has never initiated conversations or planned out dates or anything like that.
3. She's a virgin and wants to take things slow. I understand that and have done my best to be patient. She just isn't very good with intimacy. When we first started dating, even hugging was uncomfortable for her. But it's been a year now and things are finally starting to progress. But whenever things become too heated, she pushes me away and says she's not ready.
I've talked to her about all of these things bothering me and she's apologized, saying she knows she's hard to date and is trying to work on those things. But lately we've been talking about it a lot more often. I get frustrated with her almost weekly. I think I'm at the end of my patience. I love her but I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Reading my own post, I feel like the answer is might be kind of obvious but I really do want to try to make things work. | Dating girl who doesn't make me feel like she cares. Also no sex. What to do? |
t3_2bvnwy | relationships | Brother [33/M] Not Feeling Like Himself? | All the background details, my brother is a professional golf instructor and works 24/7 basically as an independent contractor. He has also started getting back into the gym, going 5 times a week and for 2-3 hours. The last he ever did the gym was four years ago, he wants to get back in shape.
This past week he has been at a golf tournament in another state, Wednesday - today. Yesterday he texted my Mom saying that he wasn't able to finish his round because he didn't feel right. Mom asked what was going on, he said he didn't know what was going on. He said he didn't feel at all like himself and he may need to go to the doctor. Mom said we're all here if he needs anything and all he responded to her with was "I need sleep" and has not spoken to any of us since then.
He is supposed to return home tomorrow, I'm sure that he is just resting and that's why we haven't heard from him...the whole point to this post is to ask: Has he reached a burn out from all this activity and that's why he suddenly is not feeling right?
Thanks! | Did 24/7 work, extensive gym time and more activity cause my brother to burn out? |
t3_38ezcy | relationships | [F/19] confused about being with my [M/21] bf. Random thoughts. | I'm confused.. Over a year and a half later..
Have I fallen out of love with Him?
Is it just a funk?
I see romantic things and automatically think of him but when I think of just him..I get annoyed.
I feel like he's not trying or growing with Me(?)
is that what I'm feeling? Does he even want to? Should I take a few days to myself? What if that turns him away and I'm left alone? Should I just take that risk?
I don't know what I want right now. I would love to be with him for years and years but right now in this very moment ..?
Ugh | confused about what I'm feeling |
t3_2vkvrm | relationships | I [26 F] need a way to introduce sex in my LDR with my SO[30 M] , how should I do it? | Hi /r/relationships,
First things first this is obviously a throwaway.
Secondly, I want to make clear I am only looking for advice to improve my relationship, so please refrain from telling me to break-up.
**Background**
We have been dating for over a year and very recently became LD. From the beginning my SO has told me that he wants to have PIV only after marriage. I thought he was kidding at first because he neither of us were virgins but he is pretty adamant about it. Last time we had a talk about it, this is pretty much how the conversation went:
Me: "Hun, do you ever think of the day when we finally get to have sex?"
Him:" Yes dear, you'll be wearing a wedding dress that day."
So yeah, that pretty much shut me up and I haven't brought it up ever since because I dont want to come off as coercive.
So, with PIV not in the books, we chose different methods to be intimate: digital penetration, oral sex etc.
But recently I had to move to a different city for a job and since then our sex lives have completely stopped. He is not open and comfortable with sexting and to be honest neither am I. He has told me multiple times that sexting doesn't do anything for him, he needs to be physically present for him to get involved.
I dont believe this is from lack of affection, I have seen his eyes light up whenever he sees me (we video call each other everyday) and he does everything he can to make me happy and constantly tells me he loves me, sings for me, makes me laugh. I know that he is the man that I wanna spend the rest of my life with.
But, I also believe that sex is an important part of a relationship. And I worry that our relation will become too platonic without sex. I am not sure if its a problem per se but I want some advice on this issue. What should I do, how should I introduce sex(not PIV) in our LD relationship? | Became a LDR recently, sex stopped completely, need help to get it back on track. |
t3_3xhj1t | relationships | Me [27 F] with my Ex-Boyfriend [31 M] 9 months, Ex used me as a credit card to buy himself a gift | My boyfriend (at the time) bought himself an expensive watchbox and charged it to me calling it his birthday present. At the time, our relationship was shaky (I had begun to suspect he was using me for money) but I went along with it. I asked him to give me the watchbox so I could actually gift it to him. He took it home under the guise of checking if the watches fit and said he would return it. He then just kept it.
I made repeated requests asking him to give it to me but he ignored them. I also asked him again and again to at least show me photos of the watchbox; he ignored those too.
I broke up with him shortly after that. To this day, I haven't seen the watchbox. The charges are on my credit card but he never returned it to me so I could actually gift it to him. Can I ask for the watchbox back now that we are broken up? | Ex used me as a credit card to buy himself a gift. Can I ask for it back? |
t3_2n69lr | relationships | (24/f) Single divorced mother. I'm at a loss on what to do with my dating life. | After my daughter (6 mo) was born, my husband and I decided to get a divorce. We are in the process of finalizing things. We were only married a year. Together for 4 years total. We are co-parenting and he is very involved in our child's life. I'm very grateful for that.
However, I really don't know what to do with myself. I feel lonely. I do want to date again in the future. I just don't know where I would start. Like do I put a picture up of myself with my daughter as my Tinder pic? This just seems so ridiculous. If a guy approaches me in public, do I immediately say "I have a baby! I was married!".
I'm afraid every guy I meet is going to assume I'm trying to give her a father which I am not. I want a companion who eventually will love my daughter but he is not going to be a replacement of her father. Just another blessing in her life.
Let's be realistic. Is any guy actually ever going to want to date me? | How should a single mother approach dating? |
t3_3xda9i | college | Did bad in a course due to depression need advice. | So The story is I've been struggling with depression for sometime now. I managed to maintain a 3.0 for the first year and a half but this past semester my depressions become somewhat debilitating. I was unable to complete a calculus 2 summer course because of it and received a withdrawl grade. Having retook that course this semester i only got a D in calc 2 along with a failing bio 1 grade. I really know I would have passed both these courses had it not been for my being depressed. Ive been seeing a therapist and two months before the semester ended he decided to put me on depression meds because i wasn't getting better without them. Now i notice I'm getting better but it wasn't until the end of this semester which is not shot to shit. Im really a smart kid but This depression got to me I'm sad to say. I really wanna finish up math because Ive always wanted a science degree in chemistry or physics or something but I don't know if it would even be worth it since I did bad in calc 2 now. Even if i retook it its not like my depression is an explanation for why I did bad, so would they even take me seriously if i tried to get my degree having done bad in the course. I really don't want to let this depression beat me like this but I'm just not sure what to do anymore. Any advice on if I should continue to take calculus and pursue my science degree?
edit | Been depressed did bad in calc 2 twice( w grade and d) on meds now feeling better but not sure if i took the course again would my degree matter. |
t3_3lwnrn | relationships | Me 30 F frustrated with my 31 M husband because he is on his own schedule | I am 30 F and recently married my 31 husband.
We have been living together for a while now, and in a relationship for the past 6 years.
My husband recently got a new job/promotion and is also going to school at night for his doctorate.
I recently finished my residency and am looking to start a family. My husband and I always talked about starting a family around now because I am done with school. He never planned to earn his doctorate this early. (He has 1 year left)
He is so busy, and when I go to bed at 11pm. He is just beginning his night. He stays up until 2-3am and doing work, showering, exercising, etc. Wakes up at 630am and is at work by 730am. He isn't home again until about 9pm
He seems stressed, should I bring up the fact I feel alone and want to start a family or wait out the year until he finishes school later this year?? | Am I being selfish with husbands busy schedule?? |
t3_149bu5 | relationships | [18F] Unsure of home situation with Mum [52F]. | I just graduated high school a few weeks ago and am planning to move out early next year.
For the past few months my mum has gradually tried to make me more independent (always rather than usually doing my own washing, buying my own clothes, which I'm generally fine with) but is also making me feel a bit left out of the family. I'm often out of the loop with plans, and sometimes they (brother [16], mum and stepfather) leave me at home while they go out for dinner.
When she came back from a two week trip recently the first thing she did was criticise me and ask about work, despite my brother and I spending hours cleaning, decorating and making lunch for her return. This also creates a lot of rivalry with my brother, who often brags about being the favourite 'better child'.
I am looking for job at the moment, but my mum gets really frustrated that I don't have one yet and makes a big show of bringing it up every day, meanwhile giving my brother lots of money to go out. Tonight she suggested that I start helping pay for food and maybe rent, which I think is a bit unfair since she's still getting child support for me from my dad.
I guess I'm just wondering how to handle the situation. Everything is happening really fast and I haven't really processed leaving high school yet. I've struggled with depression in the past two years, and the feeling of not being wanted in my family anymore is really weighing on me. Any attempts to talk to my mum have been shot down. I feel like she doesn't understand how expensive moving out is, together with uni fees (she moved out at 22 and uni for her was free), and that her constantly pressuring me to get a job and leave sort of hurts. | Mum increasingly frustrated with lack of job, slowness with moving out after end of high school exams four weeks ago. Feel left out of family. |
t3_dq91d | AskReddit | Breast cancer survivors, my girlfriend needs to have an ultrasound today for a lump she's had for a couple of months. Please show me some wisdom. | Reddit, my girlfriend and I had noticed a lump in her left breast for about a month or two now. She recently had a physical and was advised she get an ultrasound. The doctor thinks it could be hormonal or a cyst. So she's due for an ultrasound this morning.
My girlfriend's mother's side of the family has had history of breast cancer, her grandmother passed away from it a couple years ago.
She is 21, doing wonderful things, we work together on various projects and actually have a huge production going on this evening, but we both can't seem to think straight.
I lend you my ears, give me some advice my friends. | My girlfriend of 6 years may be showing early signs of breast cancer, I, the boyfriend, am tripping bawls. |
t3_31ooiq | tifu | TIFU by warming cheese | OK, so for easter i got a six pack of this AMAZING cheese (the kind stadiums use), and i decided that the first thing i would do with it was make some nachos. That is where this begins. Since i didnt want to use a big bowl, i grabbed one of our smaller bowls to cook the cheese in. since i usually only use our microwave for frozen pizzas, i instinctively put the cheese in for 2:30 instead of :25. after a while i realize that it is taking a while, so i go to check on it. I lifted up the napkin i used to cover it (thankfully i covered it, or else the microwave would be covered in burnt cheese) and the bowl was splotched all over with burnt cheese. The force of it popping all over-i kid you not- chipped the OUTSIDE of the bowl. i had to throw it out. Worst part? the bowl i used was my favorite bowl (Spongebob) from when i was little. Moral: you never know what you will miss until it is gone. | put cheese in the microwave for too long and ruined my favorite childhood bowl. |
t3_108ak0 | self | Reddit, a marine turned civilian needs a little of your mob mantality activism to help him continue with college. | Reddit and Marine Corps Family and Friends - I need your help. A 6 time combat veteran that I know (SSgt) recently transitioned from the Marine Corps to civilian life. He is using his GI Bill to get a college degree from UNC-Wilmington. Due to an administrative error on the college's part, this former Marine was charged out of state tuition, even though he has lived in North Carolina for the past 8 years, and has been a home-owning tax payer for the past 3 years. It wasn't until he received his bill from the VA this week that he realized he was being charged out of state tuition. He currently owes 7,000 beyond what the GI Bill is authorized to pay per semester in NC. This former Marine has already taken on a part-time job as a gas station attendant at 7.75/hr to help cover his bill. He has contacted everyone in the school to get it fixed, but at this point they are telling him that "Their policy is firm and they are not able to budge to assist him. He should contact the VA immediately to find a loan to pay for his semester's tuition and file again for instate tuition so it isn't charged next semester" Now this former Marine, a combat decorated Hero from Iraq and Afghanistan, is on the brink of selling his house and dropping out of school to work full time and pay back the 7,000 he owes the school at this point. I do not know what there is to do, but this isn't right. This is 2012 - you can change a student's tuition with the click of a mouse and make it instate, which will be fully paid for under the GI Bill. Dropping out of school will also take away the monthly income he receives as part of the GI Bill and set him back even farther. 6 degrees of separation says someone on here will read this and knows a senator, congressmen, etc that can do something. Reddit is good at helping worthy causes, and all it should take is some emails and/or facebook messages. I fully intend to call NC and Iowa's Senator tomorrow in the hopes that this helps this former Marine. If you have any ideas - I am all ears. Thank you for reading this. | Ex-marine lives in state, clerical error gets him out of state tuition, is about to cause him to drop out. Needs help via emails or facebook. |
t3_yq96x | AskReddit | If you have a lifelong friend who is an ass to woman and one of your lady friends asks you if he is a good guy to date. Should you do the loyal thing and put in a good word for someone who has been such a good friend for so long? Or warn your lady friend of his misogynistic and sexist ways? | I have known this guy my whole life literally, since before kindergarten. He is one of my closest friends and loyalty has always been something very important to me. You stick up for the people or ideas you believe in. Lately though, I have been questioning the maxims through which I have governed my actions regarding my morals and ethics of social behavior. This most recent problem has made me call them in to question all together.
THE REASON I'M ASKING REDDIT: I fear I am far to stern at times and that I take things to an extreme.
EXAMPLE: I have had girlfriends of both guys that I don't even know and those whom I do make passes at me and I make it very obvious that I'm not interested (Yes, if I don't do it someone else will but I don't want to be the enabler or even part of the reason they have issues). I never date friends ex-girlfriends its always drama or weird vibes when you two around around the guy your both friends with that she dated.
So basically I have a lifelong friend who is a total ass to woman and one of your lady friends asks you if he is a good guy to date. Should you do the loyal thing and put in a good word for someone who has been such a good friend for so long? Or warn your lady friend of his misogynistic and sexist ways and pretty much tell her not to date him? | (Thats To Long Didn't Read for the new redditors) |
t3_2tkv4l | relationships | I [22/M] was dumped by my [22/F] girlfriend after she lost weight. | I'm typing this on my throwaway account as my ex-girlfriend knows my actual account.
For the past week, I've been a mixture of furious and depressed. My ex-girlfriend and I dated for 5 years. We both started dating during senior year of high school. At the time, she was fairly overweight. Throughout college, she gained weight up until sophomore year when she decided to turn her life around and change. She went from 380lbs to 150lbs over the period of junior and senior year. For perspective, she's around 5'9". I've always been tall and in decent shape. I'm around 160lbs and I'm 6'6". I'm not the best looking guy around due to things I can't change, despite my best efforts to remain fashionable and well-groomed.
Last week, she told me that she just wasn't interested in me anymore. She told me that she found someone else who she found to be a better match. She apologized for leaving me and I haven't seen her since that night. She's ignoring my calls. She's ignoring my emails and messages. She told me that since she lost weight she feels like she's a new person and that she should deserve a new lease on life.
I don't know what to do now. I supported her all throughout college. I was there for her. I did everything I could to be the best boyfriend ever. Now, that's all gone. I just don't know what to do. | I'm clueless as to how to move on. |
t3_2s1lrc | Advice | Alcohol brownout - could I have done something? | So I [23m] went to an EDM concert with another guy friend for the first time. I was pretty drunk and there is a 30 minute period when I was on the dance floor that is pretty hazy , and I remember only vaguely. My friend was doing his own thing and was pretty drunk too and only remembers seeing me once every 10-15 minutes. I am paranoid about what I could've done in these 30 minutes. Did I make out with someone? Could I have done something very stupid or messed up? According to my friend I danced with some random girls but that's all I did. I recall dancing and then leaving because I'm sort of seeing someone and anything more would have been bad. So, reddit, in your experience when you have fragmentary memory loss for such short periods (where you remember everything before and after ) , do you act like a completely insane person? Could I have done something fucked up? Sorry I'm really just paranoid and anxious about this. I remember walking around the dance floor multiple times in these 30 minutes but nothing is concrete. Since I remember such stuff, do you think I'd have remembered making out or doing something stupid? My mind is fucking with me and keeps creating random scenarios like oh you could've done that and that and that. This sucks. Thanks for your help. | got drunk on dance floor don't remember 30 minutes. Could I have done something dumb |
t3_178r44 | relationship_advice | Guilt over my SO "changing for me" | My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half, and are currently in an LDR. We are very different people but are quite compatible, have great chemistry, and laugh together all the time. I know he cares about me and I certainly care about him. However, many of his behaviors make me uncomfortable. He has been "changing for me", which I appreciate, but I can't fight off the feeling that he shouldn't have to do that. Does that mean that we're not right for each other in the first place? He says that he doesn't deserve me and that he doesn't see faults in me, but he's not a lump of clay to be molded to my preferences. He's a person with a personality and preferences that are just as important as mine. I really love him, but am I forcing this? I don't want to leave him, but this feels wrong. | Angst |
t3_d0no5 | AskReddit | Mom has 0 work experience, what can she do to prepare for a job in the next couple of years? | Dear reddit,
My dad recently divorced mom. That in itself isn't so bad, but the problem is that my mom has been a homemaker (basically jobless) for the past 25 years. She's been entirely reliant on my dad for income and doesn't have any work experience nor a college degree. Not only that but our family immigrated to America from Korea and she can't really speak English fluently.
I'm definitely willing to support her, but I'm currently in college and won't be graduating for a couple of years. Fortunately, she has some money saved up and got the house, so she's in no immediate financial trouble. What are her options? I'm strongly in favor of her getting some sort of job training, but the only thing I can think of is her doing a 2 year program in accounting and doing some sort of accounting job.
Do you guys have any other ideas on what she can do? Something along the vein of her getting out, interacting with other people (to improve her english) and ending up with some ability to get a job. She's in her late 40s so nothing too physically strenuous. | newly divorced mom has 0 work experience, what are some 2 year degrees/job training programs that she could do to get a job? |
t3_3z5n0c | relationships | Me [19/M] with my girlfriend[18/F] of 1.5 years, I'm unhappy in the relationship but I love her | I've been suppressing thoughts about not being happy in the relationship. I love her, but I'm just unhappy and have been for a while. I'm still very much attached to her even though I don't always fully enjoy our time together and am often very grumpy and irritable around her. I can't stand the thought of her with other men or sharing the experiences of a relationship with somebody else. I'm afraid of losing the only person I have ever truly opened up too. I'm having a lot of anxiety doing it and I keep second guessing myself. I've thought about breaking up before. I always just push it down and just be "just my crazy brain again, I definitely love her...or do I?"
I wrote a letter explaining my feelings and I think I may read it with her then talk to her about breaking up. I know this relationship isn't good for my mental health but I just can't seem to end it. | unhappy with relationship. Love her, but unhappy in relationship. Separation anxiety ensue |
t3_53iyoa | jobs | I've been offered a job but i'm now sure if i should hand my notice in yet... | Right, so i work in a bakery with an absolutely horrid boss. shoe shouts and screams and throws cakes around like a toddler not getting their own way. And i've been looking for a job for months. on Friday i had a n interview for an admin position that i feel i can start a career with. I got an E-mail from the company today saying that the manager is out of the office till next Wednesday and will write me up a formal offer when he's back, and that they look forward to my arrival and addition to the company.
Now, i don't want to wait any longer than i have to to leave the bakery, but my friend is telling me to wait until i have the formal offer in the bag as then i know what i'm dealing with. I have to give 2 weeks notice, so if i hand it in today i can be gone by start of October, if i wait, in the middle of one of our busiest times at the bakery therefor my boss getting even more angry and screamtastic with me.
Do i hand it in tomorrow or wait till the formal offer? | i have an offer for a job and i'm not sure if i should hand my notice in today or when i have the formal offer. |
t3_3nneys | legaladvice | Mother being denied for SS after father passing away. | So, backstory, I am 21 years old currently, I live with my mom still my father passed away back in 2013 from a long 6 year battle against colon cancer. The fight was finanically draining, something I had no idea about until now, because my mother is now fighting to keep our house. I am employed at Amazon, and try to help her in any way that I can, but I have a family to take care of and a girlfriend that works as well. My mother is 51 and unable to work due to fibromyalgia in a very severe form. (She can barely hold her purse that weighs ~1.5lbs.) She has tried everything from A to Z and nothing works. She's gone to doctors and asked for help but all they do is give her an injection that puts her in a vegitative state for the day. She is incapacitated and doesn't remember anything really the next day. She applied for disability a little while back (~2.5 years ago or so) and has been paying a lawyer monthly to get things moving. She was just denied last month. The judge asked her questions discerning her ability to work and decided that she was, in fact, able to go back to work and threw the case out. So all that time and money was wasted and now we are in danger of losing the house. She applied for new hearing with a new judge, but was told the process could take another 6-8 months. A timeframe we are financially unable to withhold. When my dad passed, he left us $30,000 in life insurance. All of that has been used in these two years to pay for the lawyer fees, car payments, misc. medical expenses, and mortgage. We are at the end of the ropes and don't know what else to do. Any and all suggestions/advice are welcomed, but please be gentle. I am a first time poster, long time lurker. | Father passed from cancer and the 6 year fight was financially draining, mother disabled, applied for SS and was denied because judge said she was fine to go back to work, $30k in Life insurance gone due to rent, bills, med expenses, and lawyer fees. At risk of losing house. |
t3_4ycl47 | relationships | My [20F] friend [20M] disapproves of and wants to rescue me from my relationship with my boyfriend [28M] | About a month ago, I started dating my boyfriend, Nate, whom I met through a video game. We had been flirting and talking over skype for a year and a half, and I had met him in person a few times. After the most recent time he visited, we decided that the chemistry between us was too much to ignore, and began a relationship. We kept it quiet for about a month, but decided to tell our friends when he flew back out here this past weekend to visit. Most of my friends, including my ex boyfriend (with whom I am still very good friends) are very happy for me. Most of them love him and think he's an amazing person, others are neutral but are happy that I'm happy.
However, my friend Dan is quite opposed to this development. He hasn't met Nate in person, but the three of us will party up and play video games together. Before now, Dan has been friendly enough with Nate. After Nate and I announced our relationship, Dan's girlfriend, Annie–my best friend–let me know that he didn't like the situation, was suspicious, and wanted to "rescue me". Luckily, my best friend told him to butt out. So far he has, but I'm afraid of this creating a rift in our group of friends, and also becoming a point of contention in their relationship (Annie is happy for me, though she has no strong feelings one way or the other on Nate).
Dan has been my friend for a couple years, and I don't want this to affect our friendship or the group as a whole, but I'm afraid he'll take "butt out" as "ignore completely." How should I handle this? Should I even do anything? | One of my friends disapproves of my relationship and I'm afraid it will cause tension and drama in our group of friends. |
t3_21peo7 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my Ex/Fling/?[27 F] is trying to make up for physical abuse | This was my first ever abusive relationship (2 years). She became violent during arguments to the point I have scars from her nails. The first time we discussed what happened and I said if it ever happened again I would be done with her and any idea of a relationship. After that it happened 5-6 more times. There is always a period of the "perfect relationship" which through some research is normal from abusive people. After the 3rd time I left her and really pulled away with the understanding that if she truly wanted an us I needed her to proactively show me she was taking steps to learn new ways of dealing with conflict (therapy, research, etc.). I am seeing other people and have a very active sex and social life.
My fault was that I still saw her every week (she lives practically next door). I should have cut her off. But now she actually is proactively showing me she is taking the time to learn new ways to deal with conflict. Has anyone had a similar experience? Have you ever forgave them? Have they changed? | Has anyone that has been abusive towards you repeatedly changed or have you ever forgiven them? |
t3_2q75lf | offmychest | I think, therefore, I am... In love with you. | Been seeing a guy for some time now. It has progressively gotten more towards dating and being monogamous, which has been going great but I can't help but feel that he doesn't care for me like I do for him. I always hear the sayings that the person who cares the least has the most power and that if you have to ask then there is your answer **BUT** this has been bugging me for some time. He keeps making promises about the future and I love that he does that but I get the feeling he might be the type to plan things that may never come about. We have expressed that we both really like each other which is nice to hear but I am not feeling like he means it. I am the romantic *(sometimes lovey-dovey)* type and he is NOT - which bugs me as well, since I know my love language will never be fulfilled if we ever get serious. I can't stop thinking about him and I **REALLY** like him - I am talking about being in love here (as least as much as I can be at this point in time)!! Without venting too much more - should I just stop being a girl, forget about it, and just take one day at a time **OR** should I talk with him about it **OR** should I just walk away? Some outside perspective would be nice. | Been *seeing* a guy I really like - things seem to be going really well but I don't think he feels the same about me as I do him. |
t3_3h9ezg | relationships | Me [24/F] with my Boyfriend[26/M] for 2 years, I'm not invited to 2 family-related weddings | My bf(m/26) and I (f/24) have been dating for 2 years. In November he is invited to a wedding of a family friend and I'm not invited. He is going with his family. This hurts my feelings a little. I don't even know these people, they are his mom's friends. So I don't really want to go but I also feel hurt to be excluded. I recently also found out that he is attending the wedding for his mom's cousin early September. They are all going as a family.
I don't exactly want to go since I don't even know these people; my boyfriend himself doesn't know these people well. It just seems weird that he is attending them alone with his family.
Am I being silly?
Am I wrong to feel this way? | I(F/24) am not invited to 2 family-related weddings that my boyfriend (M/26) is attending this fall.Should I be hurt? |
t3_38w28l | relationships | Me [20 M] with my SO [18F] 1 year. How can I get over my parinoia/anxiety about my SO possibly cheatig, even tho I have no reason to assume/expect it.. | So, in every relationship in my past i was cheated on, lied to, or just treated badly. My current SO is different, but I can't get this parinoia out of my head. I have no reason to think it. We were in a long distance relationship for around 2 years prior, ended up breaking it off then finally getting back together because we ended up going to the same school. I don't think she would be the person to do this, ever. Also, my parinoia is completely unfounded in any sort of reality. We are about to move in together soon and I wanna lay this to rest before we take this next step. I want to start this leg of our relationship off well without any possible problems going into it. *currently on phone so grammar/formatting is shitty | need some help figuring our why I'm feeling this way with no reason to and how to stop it. |
t3_1f317d | relationship_advice | I (21M) love my Girlfriend(22F), but I think I may be gay or bisexual and I'm confused. | So I have been dating my current GF for about a year now and things are pretty great. We're close, our personalities really fit together and I love her to death. However, as the title of my post suggests, I am, er, developing different tastes.
I am becoming less and less sexually attracted to her (and women in general) and more attracted to men. I was always a little attracted to men and identified with gay men, but I never took action on it. But recently, I did a small amount of experimenting with guys (with my GF's permission) and I found I like it.
The thing is, I don't know how genuine it is. I don't know if I am actually gay or just curious of what it is like to be with a man. I feel I can be with a man romantically, but sexually it's still confusing. I am attracted to some men, but in different ways than I was attracted to women.
All that is to say that I don't want to hurt my GF for something I'm not sure of myself. She knows about my bicuriosity, but she does not know it's extent. On top of it, I met this gay guy I really like and would like to explore (and maybe even date) with. I'm not sure what to do. | I have a Girlfriend but I may be gay or bisexual and I don't know how to handle the situation. |
t3_3wulqy | relationships | Does my [22m] girlfriend [21f] even care? | I have been seeing this girl for almost 6 months, 4 of which have been long-distance. For the most part things have been great. I really like this girl and I thought she cared as much as I did. Today has been my lowest point since I met her. My semester grades came out and I totally underperformed. I have been so bummed all day. She gave me a call and we were talking about it, I was just starting to feel better about myself, and then it happened. She said she was going to go because some other guy (her gay best friend from HS) was calling. I know if the roles were switched and I knew she was feeling down, I would never end the conversation for any reason until she wanted to. The fact that she would brush me off like that when she knows how shitty I am feeling hurts so much more than my crappy grades. I just feel terrible now. What the hell do I do about it? | my girlfriend brushed me off to chat with some random friend when I needed her most |
t3_wa2iy | AskReddit | My Uncle is homeless and I want to help any way I can. Thoughts? | My Uncle has had a string of bad luck his whole life and it seems to have culminated in him being homeless.
I don't talk to him much as I used to, but I still love him. He named his kid **Bruce Wayne** which has to count for SOMETHING, right?
Anyways, he's homeless due to financial constraints and currently squatting on a home that is completely run down.
The reason I approach Reddit with this is because he has kids. They come back to Oregon (where he lives, not me) and won't be able to visit their father if it's... still run down. I don't know what help or assistance he can get in Oregon. I'm just looking towards Reddit for ideas, etc on what he can do? I'll relay information to him the best I can.
He posted [this] awhile ago and it's depressing because he has ZERO funds on it. I just feel like he's not getting anywhere right now and it sucks I can't do anything to help.
Alright, I'm done rambling. If you're in the Oregon area and willing to help out, PM me as well! I am trying to see if I can fly out there to help (I'm in AZ), but a job/school is hard to handle as it is. Thanks for reading :) | The father of Bruce Wayne is homeless. |
t3_43l0t3 | tifu | TIFU by bringing someone over [nsfw-ish?] | Hey, well actually this was a TIFU.
I recently moved country and am temporarily sleeping at a friends sofa.
I jokingly asked once what his statement would be if I brought someone over.
He responded seriously in a negative way for me.
So last night I went out.. All good n all, get rather drunk and hook up with this fine blonde...
So I did what was not liked, brought her over..
She clearly was not the most silent one.
Guy is pissed but would not want to stop a good lay... later says its ok.. and now I have no clue what is happening. Dont want to lose the sleeping spot and already apologized...
Just no clear thing from his side..
Must say though... Damn she was good though :) | Temp living on friends sofa, brought girl over that moans loudly.. guy pissed, close to losing sofa.. |
t3_3an9g2 | dating_advice | Not the best when it comes to starting a new relationship. | To start, I (19m) never was good at starting relationships. All of my past relationships started out through text, and ended through text. I know that's not the right way to do it, but that's the only way i could. I'm extremely shy and nervous when talking to people that I never had the guts to ask anyone out in person, but I want to change that, but I don't know how.
There's this girl (19f) that was in one of my classes last semester, and we got along really well. We talked a lot, and even went out for lunch and coffee 3 times after class. Because the semester is over now, and she lives in a different city than I do, its impossible for us to see each other, and we talk maybe once every other week because I'm the one that started the conversation. She tends to work a lot, and because of that, is somewhat bad at responding, which I completely understand, but she never initiates any conversation with me, and every time I do, I feel like I'm annoying her. I would love to tell her my feelings towards her, but I don't know how she feels about me. Every time we talk it seems flirty, but she has said before that she is happy being single. I also don't want to talk to her too much over the summer because I don't want her to get tired of me, or annoyed by me, and run out of things to talk about when classes start back up, but I don't want to not talk to her because that could mean I'm not interested.
So basically I have no idea what to do, if I should do something. | There's a girl I like, I don't know how she feels towards me, and I want to tell her how I feel but don't know how because she lives in another city and I won't see her until August, and we talk maybe once every other week. |
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