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[INST]
Nah, his puppeteers probably just upped his Ambien dosage.
[/INST]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYOUAREGAYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
[INST]
I know right?
[/INST]
You planning to take profits? |
[INST]
🅱️ig 🅱️alls
[/INST]
REPORTED 🅱️ is hate speech |
[INST]
TIL confuscating is a word. I was ready to correct you, but turns out it’s legit
[/INST]
I googled it before I used it too. I wasn't sure if it was a real word or one my brain made up. |
[INST]
Jim Cramer has been diseased for 15 years, he's being held up by nanotechnology plus machine learning systems maintained by Goldman Sachs. You can see it starting to break down when conversation moves away from pre determined talking points and them give him a redbull so he starts shaking.
[/INST]
> they give him a ~~redbull~~ bump of cocaine so he starts shaking.
Fixed it for ya
|
[INST]
how about yellow? Do we like those?
[/INST]
Nope that would be insider trading. Jack Ma employs them all |
[INST]
That’s better than probably 90% of the population because you’re actually contributing to a 401k. Nothing to feel bad about if you’re living okay and still able to put money towards retirement. You’ve just budgeted well
[/INST]
Also fortunate to not only have a good salary but also be married to someone with a good salary. Money doesn't buy happiness, but it definitely buys security. |
[INST]
I'm just shocked that someone would do something more stupid than me.
The kicker is they might push it up there on no reason at all except everybody else buys puts.
[/INST]
You know with this market....always expect the opposite.
So yes,$80 ATVI tomorrow? |
[INST]
I use it because they blocked Spotify at my office, and I fucking hate it. The only reason they haven't blocked Pandora yet is because nobody uses it
[/INST]
Use your phone? Or a VPN? |
[INST]
' '
- Mute Spittah
[/INST]
Im about to end this mans whole career
^(what career?) |
[INST]
Market is dumb right now. MSFT always drops at 93 and rises to 96. All i've been doing is buying $92 calls around 92.5-93.5 and sell when it rises. If anything its gonna breach 97 again and you'll make more Tendies.
[/INST]
Thanks, great method. I look forward to this working indefinitely into the future. |
[INST]
The funny thing about never giving credit, is that you'll always have a reason. Interesting how busy Obama seemingly was, having accomplished so much in the next guy's first year, never having been able to accomplish a single similar goal during his entire 8 years.
[/INST]
Everything that went wrong in Obama's presidency was Bush's fault. Everything going well with Trump's presidency is Obama's fault |
[INST]
Could you please fix your formatting so this doesn't look like the ramblings of an autistic 12 year old.
[/INST]
How else are the rest of us retards supposed to understand it if he does that? |
[INST]
Yeah you can try email if not just call customer service.
[/INST]
Sounds good boss, will give them a ring tomorrow. Are you sure that this is something they could do? |
[INST]
It’s worth more than $3 now
[/INST]
It is indeed |
[INST]
Mom's at work now but ill see if she has time to read it with me when she gets home.
Just to clarify though I'm mocking your use of the word 'predatory.' Predatory implies lenders are like wolves or sharks just hunting and killing helpless prey simply minding their own business.
Can we compromise and call it butthole lending?
[/INST]
I didn’t make it up. It’s just a term with a generally accepted definition.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predatory_lending |
[INST]
Spy is an etf that tracks he S&P500.
[/INST]
What is this? a straightforward non-stupid sarcastic answer to a question on r/wsb?
thats a first! |
[INST]
Would it be within IB platform or it would be a separate app outside IB that just uses IB data?
[/INST]
Well, if you mean like literally embeds in their platform, I don't think so.
The API should let you access data and submit orders though so you can build whatever you need yourself. I think. |
[INST]
It's wealth redistribution.
[/INST]
You're fucking retarded. It's literally the opposite of wealth redistribution. |
[INST]
Making games worth a damn is a lot of effort and therefore not profitable. Profitable ventures are about manipulating people into buying stuff that they aren't good judges of value on. I think hardcore gamers expect a lot for a little and have high standards.
[/INST]
I think there are plenty of people who know how to make a good game, they just aren't empowered with the right skills or motivation to make it happen. So those who are motivated to make it happen...lack talent often.
It's ok to have high standards in video games...we don't need a remake of the same game again and again. |
[INST]
I don’t understand this why are people taking about “EA leaks are wrong” can one of you fags fill me in?
[/INST]
Same question here |
[INST]
Yeah, that's at $1mil, not 200k
[/INST]
but then you could make $10mil? |
[INST]
Facebook calls, Microsoft calls, spy puts, now spy calls. AAL puts.
[/INST]
FDs? |
[INST]
Haha, I'm already retarded!
[/INST]
Jokes on them! |
[INST]
So he's worth 90% less than Bill Gates? And Billy is as blue as they come.
Sad.
Maybe he should stop building tacky buildings and learn about the cyber so he can make some real big numbers.
[/INST]
Or about our lord and savior Lisa |
[INST]
Mostly?
[/INST]
Sometimes the vagina and the rectum become one. |
[INST]
I’ve been trying
[/INST]
It ain't workin. |
[INST]
Math checks out.
<= Binomial Financial Analyst
(or as someone above posted, it's literally just 1-(199/200)^16 )
[/INST]
Man I don't understand statistics. What's wrong with my logic here: You have a 1/200 chance of getting Apple stock every time you refer a friend. He referred 16 friends. Each time you draw, you have a 1/200 chance of winning. 16*(1/200)= 8% chance of getting Apple stock at least once. |
[INST]
Well feel free to buy more than 27% of the company that he owns to take control.
[/INST]
Can't tell if serious...
27% is not a controlling stake, just in case your serious |
[INST]
He owns 27% of Tesla and thats usually a big enough block to do what he needs to do.
[/INST]
until there is a shareholder vote where 60% is owned by tutes. He is merely the CEO, which can be voted out. Ez |
[INST]
📈📈📈📈📈📈🚀🌕🖨💵💰💵💰💵💰
There you go... 😊
[/INST]
OMG thank you so much |
[INST]
I mean the information is out there you just have to know what's a meme and what isn't
[/INST]
Hmmmm |
[INST]
or could be bought out by Tencent as a slap in the face to Trump.
[/INST]
Tencent doesn't care about politics or Trump. All they care about is micro-transaction tendies and anime tiddy. |
[INST]
I think the financial instrument generally used here is called insurance.
[/INST]
Crop insurance and futures can do the same thing |
[INST]
try me
[/INST]
Elon? |
[INST]
Fuck no
[/INST]
Why does it say Sprint in the top left then? |
[INST]
I thought it was asking how much I planned to make with the app 😳
[/INST]
How much do you want to make?
“Idk. Fuck it. I want a billion dollars” |
[INST]
We ship oil and buy it back at a loss.
Canadian mentality of losing for fear of confrontation.
Fuck you amerikanskis
[/INST]
Nothing personal |
[INST]
Trailing stops would be REALLY FUCKING NICE, BTW.
[/INST]
Does Tasty Trade offer trailing stop? Otherwise I might end up heading to TD. |
[INST]
What in the actual titty fucking Christ?
[/INST]
Mind you I didn't say he used it. |
[INST]
I sold 5/18 $45 cash secured puts don't worry bby I'm good. I'll be very happy with my cost basis if I get assigned
[/INST]
I sold 45-40, let’s see if I can pick some for cheap |
[INST]
My gf, account balance $200, invited me, some nobody, and I got AAPL, and she got S. It's all luck. My two other referrals got me chesapeake and zynga
[/INST]
I also got chesapeake and Zynga 🤔🤔 |
[INST]
Stop losses on options are a GREAT way to guarantee that most of your trades end as losers.
[/INST]
That applies to shares as well these days. The HFTs will go stop hunting and wreck your asshole good. Just look at $CHK for the past 3 days. People got wiped out on earnings day. |
[INST]
WTF. It was in the green and now red. What happened?
[/INST]
it really do be like that sometimes |
[INST]
If you can't beat them, join them. Better than holding the bag.
[/INST]
Fuck that. This isn't bag holding.
This is the Chinese Amazon ffs. |
[INST]
Got 'em.
[/INST]
I thought he meant to make money 😂 |
[INST]
He's already pissed of the Fremont plant workers that Toyota worked so hard to fix...
When someone finds a coke bottle in their door panel, we'll know they're done.
[/INST]
The fact that this is the old NUMMI plant and Elon is shit talking TPS just makes me giggle. |
[INST]
You call that tendies? Fag.
[/INST]
That’s enough tendie money to feed me for a month. |
[INST]
Those are gonna be like $10 each so congrats!
[/INST]
I can tell you that it's not even close to being worth that much rn |
[INST]
Yeah, but you need 100 shares. At $100 a pop, you're spending 10,000 in order to get $50 - $250 in stateroom credit depending on how long your cruise is. If you bought 100 shares in '09 you're sitting pretty, but it's hard to buy in now.
[/INST]
Yeah not a great deal but someone might find value in it. |
[INST]
But unemployment rate...
[/INST]
A completely meaningless stat in today's reality where engineers work as baristas. Used to merely fool retail and lower IQ IBs |
[INST]
You cannot rally and fall at the same time.
[/INST]
You laugh but I tried shorting SPY this morning and that is failing meanwhile what I am long is also simultaneously losing altitude. Frickin' market. |
[INST]
This is some retarded ass shit man. The guy is nuts, and shit at explaining what he is thinking. The fact you think he is the messiah because he can rap is pathetic as fuck lmao
[/INST]
> The guy is nuts, and shit at explaining what he is thinking.
I've always thought he was shit at explaining what he is thinking, but I don't think he is nuts. |
[INST]
Depending on when he sells, might just be a net 0.
Or hell, BABA might recover to $185 eod. Who knows nowadays.
[/INST]
185 eod? You meant 175 right? |
[INST]
Check out his Twitter feed now. Elon's on a tear about why he bitch-slapped Wall Street.
[Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/elonmusk)
[/INST]
lol |
[INST]
The printing money wasn’t because of micro transactions it’s the massive sales they had that was most of it... also GTA had something those other games didn’t, offline single player.
[/INST]
Yea it sold well and broke records, but they are absolutely killing it with GTA online mtx... |
[INST]
>one popular game in a genre of games that has short staying power
Fortnite is the next league of legends though. It will be around for years. If only epic games was public I'd have been buying calls for months. How does fuckin Tencent manage to own all these cash cows anyway?
[/INST]
You can't do shit in china without tencent getting a slice of the pie, they have people on the states censorship board so if you piss them off they ban your game for being 'immoral' or whatever, so companies have no choice, you gotta work with them.
But they done good buying epic, nobody foresaw the fortniteBR success. |
[INST]
Yeah but you get to call him a bonehead while your stock tanks instead of regurgitating some shit about gross margin that is already answered in your goddamn quarterly report while your stock tanks
[/INST]
I'm tired of hearing about how the stock tanked.
6% IS A REGULAR DAY FOR TESLA!! |
[INST]
So many people just bother reading the headlines , so many sheep in here , was expecting more from this sub
[/INST]
>was expecting more from this sub
There's your first mistake. |
[INST]
Fuck. LONG GDDY
[/INST]
That's not the only thing that's long, amirite |
[INST]
I actually tough people in this sub weren’t retarded, go watch the context in which he said it
[/INST]
Saw it. Still a stupid thing to say |
[INST]
Man I don't understand statistics. What's wrong with my logic here: You have a 1/200 chance of getting Apple stock every time you refer a friend. He referred 16 friends. Each time you draw, you have a 1/200 chance of winning. 16*(1/200)= 8% chance of getting Apple stock at least once.
[/INST]
The other guy explained the math so hear is this. Think about a raffle of 1000 tickets and 5 of them give you apple stock. Your odds of winning by buying one raffle ticket are .5%. So if you buy 200 you should have 100% odds to win right? Well no, because there are 995 losers and you could be unlucky to buy 200 of them. |
[INST]
I bought 5
imdoingmypart.gif
[/INST]
But more stonks |
[INST]
Did you really think this was the moment?
Buy the dip
Until tsla gets close to $225
[/INST]
I’m good |
[INST]
did you buy 5/4 calls yesterday before close? If so, enjoy your lambo, if not stop whining
[/INST]
I bought some long range deep OTM calls today with the hope that next phase progresses well. |
[INST]
Greedy boi.
You got time though. How much did those beautiful bastards cost you?
[/INST]
This |
[INST]
You gucci now unless you sold.
[/INST]
Not anymore
Edit: I am holding this stock for 2-3 years it’s just the day after I bought the stock dropped like 8% |
[INST]
what about now? hope you didnt sell...
[/INST]
I'm a fucking pussy and sold.... Fml |
[INST]
Translated with my little chinese:
'Big family good, I now Chinese person'
[/INST]
tfw your Chinese is worse than google translate https://i.imgur.com/H5HPmOZ.jpg |
[INST]
im a huge pussy and sold a 172.5 apple call the day after earnings for +30$ ...
[/INST]
I did the exact same. I thought locking in my gains was smart given how volatile the market has been lately. |
[INST]
I used snapchat lol
[/INST]
Short $SNAP |
[INST]
Uvxy 400 @ 14.70 this baby’s primed and ready
[/INST]
lol |
[INST]
They fucking opened at $3.2 too.
[/INST]
And hit 39$$$$ fuck |
[INST]
I'm serious. Proof. https://imgur.com/a/ieAKmFh
[/INST]
Uh that's awesome is that TOS? How did you get to the point they sent you a monkey? |
[INST]
Right, right, 1800 new preorders a day and nobody's converting or somehow this will screw up their revenues or future revenues for a car they're only starting to supply.
[/INST]
no but why not answer the question it's that that retarded jesus christ |
[INST]
yeah i can't figure out an easy way via rh to post a pic of the entire transaction buy and sell
but i'm a jabroni so it was only a single call -- bought may 4 182.50 in early April @ 1.37 and sold today @ 1.15
i think it was at like 2 or 3 cents at close yesterday lol
if anyone yolo'd that thing yesterday they're drowning in it today
[/INST]
>I'm full of shit |
[INST]
they havent improved recently, you just finally reached their level of autism
[/INST]
You might be onto something |
[INST]
I'm tired of hearing about how the stock tanked.
6% IS A REGULAR DAY FOR TESLA!!
[/INST]
And it has almost completely recovered. WS really punished Elon guis!! |
[INST]
he was clearly talking about mental conditioning
that binds people to thoughtless ideology, not even close to what people are spreading to get clicks
[/INST]
Hahahaha, this is like analyzing the color of the drapes in English class. It doesn't matter how much mental gymnastics you do, it won't change the reality of what he said. |
[INST]
Isn’t that what you do when you fuck up?
[/INST]
I just fuck up even bigger so you forget about the first fuckup. |
[INST]
Lots of people gonna FOMO after the huge ass pop today, so obviously the market is gonna go down Monday.
[/INST]
I think the FOMO is already here today. |
[INST]
This is the kind of quality posts I come here for. I sincerely applaud /u/haupt91.
[/INST]
Poops, I make you this vow. So long as my heart beats, there will always be retarded shitposts on this subreddit. I promise you. |
[INST]
Go buy 190s for next Friday then. Thought not.
[/INST]
Might actually be a good idea. |
[INST]
Nah gut feeling pro tip, there’s no such thing as priced in earnings
[/INST]
What? If earnings are expected to be good this will be priced in, you usually only see big changes in price when the expectation isn't the reality. |
[INST]
the leftists in this sub don't like it when you say faggot, faggot
[/INST]
faggot faggot faggot |
[INST]
I knowww I didn’t have money left over after my match calls shat the fucking bed over that Facebook thing. This was all I had left in these calls
[/INST]
AHHHAHAHAHA THE FUCK
Out of every play on the stock and options market, this? |
[INST]
Wow, you make my retarded ass look smart.
[/INST]
🤷♂️ |
[INST]
$65/hr so far today. Thank you, 5/11 $MU 47 calls.
[/INST]
I raise you a $8k on my NVDA calls. |
[INST]
Still looks fine to me
[/INST]
THEN U ARE A FOOL |
[INST]
I guess it was not :)
[/INST]
Got em! |
[INST]
Well, those two cases are by far the most needy as their death rates are high. But the FDA never told PTLA that they needed this restriction. In fact, that was an indication I thought the FDA may put on AndexXa, and I was glad they ended up not doing so. But now we see that PTLA effectively given themselves that restriction and then some more on top.
[/INST]
Do you think PTLA may have been anticipating that restriction and prepared accordingly? |
[INST]
This is the first time in their existence where their share price is the exact same as it was for the last earnings three months ago, if anything has improved the share price should increase
[/INST]
I always comment this in the mtch threads, but tinder has been in the top 3 grossing apps since August, should be an awesome quarter. Fuck that overreaction to uncertainty about a potential shitty dating feature of fucking Facebook, anything but back to 45$ is a joke in my opinion |
[INST]
Elon Musk doesn't give A FUCK about shareholders.
[/INST]
https://www.wsj.com/articles/teslas-elon-musk-defends-bonehead-remark-says-he-should-have-answered-analysts-questions-1525448877 |
[INST]
It's going to go down... FD puts could make someone with balls rich
[/INST]
I’m gonna short 500-700 with a stop lose at .50 so I don’t lose my ass if it goes up |
[INST]
Thinkorswim has futures right?
[/INST]
I believe so, |
[INST]
No you both
[/INST]
Slut |
[INST]
Which one?
The 'Taylor Swift doesn't deserve this award' Kanye?
Or the 'George Bush doesn't care about black people' Kanye?
[/INST]
The 'straight from the go' Kanye |
[INST]
ITM options is exactly what I do when risking a sizable amount of money. $.10 contract price for a stock going into earnings? Ok I’ll do some OTM on that. Otherwise I do at least two points ITM.
[/INST]
Precisely. An slightly ITM or ATM call on AMD at the end of March would be up somewhere between 50 and 100% right now. |
[INST]
No one ever complained about 150% profit
[/INST]
Yeah, if I knew it would pop like that after earnings I would have gone all in instead of just buying enough so I could afford to exercise. Now it's a 'short term gains vs long term gains' situation. I have until Friday to decide. Too bad I bought them on RH or I would just roll the position and put it off for another few weeks. |
[INST]
Recently, right before close on Friday is probably the best bet for volatility rises. Terrible political news is dumped on Friday nights hoping no one notices.
[/INST]
This was my original hypothesis and then i looked at the trends the past few months and I noticed it tends to open lower on Mondays then on Fridays. |
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