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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24F] boyfriend [24M] tries to provoke jealousy
POST: Throwaway!
So we've been together a little around 8 months and he does this weird thing where he repeatedly talks about his past crushes and relationships over and over. I've run out of things to contribute on these matters, mostly because he's brought them up so many times and I'm feeling like it's become inappropriate. He then he says I'm jealous because I've finally started saying, "I don't know the people you're talking about and have no idea what to say"? I don't have a fit or get belligerent or anything. It's not like I become sulky, get angry or whatever else. I just have no idea what he expects me to contribute when he talks about other women so I kinda stonewall and shrug.
The ironic thing is he is SUPER jealous, any guy friend that speaks to me has an ulterior motive, any guy that looks at me too long and he will literally start staring them down and cussing them out. Guys have simply paid me compliments on social networking before and I've had to take down the posts because he has passive-aggressively abused them ...
TL;DR: | boyfriend tries to make me jealous. He is actually super jealous. Why does he keep doing it and how can I get him to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 F] have been casually dating him [32 M] for five months. I'd like to start getting more serious, but he seems on the fence.
POST: Both of us had been in terrible relationships beforehand, so when we started seeing each other, we agreed to take things slowly but both agreed that it seemed like something that could develop into an actual relationship. Things have been going well, but I'm not sure how to proceed.
He's very hot and cold - sometimes he does things that seem, for lack of a better word, "relationshippy". For example, buying me little presents, talking about issues he's having with friends or family... He got VERY freaked out in the past when I invited him to hang out with my friends, which was confusing to me because that doesn't seem all that serious. But he did recently invite me out with some of his friends for the first time.
Is it too soon to have a conversation about being in an actual, defined relationship? We technically aren't monogamous but neither of us have been seeing anyone else (at least, according to what he told me). It's one of those things that is starting to get a bit awkward for me - he introduced me as his "friend" which felt weird, and I'd feel odd introducing him as my friend too. I'm attending a wedding in a few months and I'm hoping he'll come with me, so I thought about waiting until then to discuss this with him, but I'm also really starting to want to know where he's at on this.
TL;DR: | Been seeing a guy for five months; he's been kind of skittish about ~committing in the past. How and when should I tell him that I'd really like something more out of this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28 M] can't get the idea out of my head that I should break up with my girlfriend [23 F] even though we have a good relationship.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now and have been living together the whole time as we met in a sharehouse. We are about to apply for a partner visa so she can stay in the country. Everything had been going really well until the last few months.
I'm feeling really ambivalent about our relationship and have been for the past 4 months or so. There's nothing wrong with our relationship as such, she is the nicest and most chilled girlfriend and we get along just great most of the time and I love her. The problem is that I constantly feel like I'm not ready to continue in a committed relationship right now as I feel like I want to be single again whilst I'm still relatively young. She is completely the opposite and has no questions about whether she wants to stay with me, although I'm her first boyfriend so I wonder if she has fallen hard because of that?
Anyway I feel really bad as pretty much every day I have thoughts of seeing other people (haven't/couldn't cheat) and generally wanting to be single, even though nothing is really wrong with our relationship. I feel the pressure is on for me to make up my mind before this partner visa is due as that's $6000 out of our pockets and it seems unfair that she is so sure about our relationship and I am not.
Is this a normal thing? Do people just get to a point where they feel like they just don't want to be in a relationship anymore even if their significant other is fine in all respects and things are going smoothly?
I've talked to her about it a couple of times and she knows that I have commitment problems so talking about it hasn't really helped. At this point I'm thinking that because it keeps coming up to the point that it is upsetting me perhaps it is time to 'call it a day'? I don't know, I need some perspective from other people who may of been in a similar position.
Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | Feeling ambivalent about relationship with my girlfriend of two years. Seeking advice on whether it's time to end it on the basis that I've been wanting to be single for the past 4 months even though our relationship is otherwise great. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is my professor being unreasonable?
POST: Last weekend, I had an emergency at home after Memorial Day and had to take Tuesday off from school. I emailed my TA the night of Memorial Day telling her that I wasn't going to be in class for the two days. We happened to have a pop quiz that Tuesday that was worth 10% of our grade. I emailed the professor asking if I could possibly retake the quiz or make up for the points somehow, but he said no. I emailed him again in a more desperate tone, but he didn't respond. This was the first class I've missed all quarter and we just happened to have our quiz in this class. In my opinion, I think he is being very unreasonable because: 1) I emailed my TA telling her that I couldn't attend, 2) I've been to every other class section (and he knows this because there is attendance), 3) This is a POP quiz, so it wasn't like it was posted on the syllabus like a midterm or final would be. He simply told me in class that it wasn't fair to the other students if I had to retake. How is it fair to ME!?
I'm planning on going to his office hours and trying to talk to him one more time, but at this point, I'm sure he's extremely irritated of me and will just brush me off once again. I've worked really hard to this class and I don't think it is fair in the least to not allow me to retake a RANDOM pop quiz that is worth a significant chunk of my grade just because I had to miss one out of the 30+ days of class. What should I do if he chooses to ignore my pleas once again? Should I contact the dean? Get my parents to call him to explain to him what happened?
TL;DR: | Missed class due to emergency at home. Professor won't allow me to retake a pop quiz that is worth 10% of my grade. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I want to quit lacrosse to get a job
POST: So I have played lacrosse for three years. It is my senior year in high school and I will be eighteen in a month exactly. My mom and I had a rocky relationship my junior year and ended up with me going to treatment for depression. My mom and I have a great relationship right now but I still want some advice because she can be very explosive. I used to love lacrosse it was my favorite sport but now it is no longer fun any more. And with that I want to get a job to work in a restaurant because cooking is my passion and that is what Im going to college for to study, Hospitality management then to culinary school. I'm not sure how I'm going to ask her but I know I'm going to do it tonight. I just want to cook.
TL;DR: | Lacrosse is not fun any more and I wan't to cook and get a job at a restaurant how do I tell my mom? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my girlfriend [25F] , gets occasion texts from a guy from an old fling, what is the best way to get this to stop?
POST: So basically my girlfriend will get bi-weekly to monthly texts from this guy that she had a small fling with. The guy is a dick and she doesn't want anything to do with him, and naturally neither do I. He'll send messages like "Baby you are so hot, want to fuck" to stuff like "Whats up?". I figured that he would leave her alone if she simply ignored his texts, but it appears that he still continues a month and a so later -- she has not replied to any of his messages, so he is more persistent than I have anticipated. What would be the best way to get him to stop messaging her? I feel that maybe in the long run he will just give up, but if she confronts him, I think that might keep him motivated enough to keep going. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend gets texts once every few weeks from a fling 4 months ago, we both want it to stop. I said to ignore him, is that the best way to get him to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with my girlfriend [19F]. How do I get over insecurity and/or jealousy?
POST: Just to give a background description, I am 17 years old and I never had a girlfriend before. This summer I met a girl that is perfect. She is super cool, funny, smart and I love all of her quirks. She had me releasing endorphins to the max for the last month dating her.
However, I'm very insecure, which is a terrible trait to have. She's 2 years older than me. She has more experience with other guys, and knows better than me about everything that concerns relationships.
She's had multiple boyfriends in the past. These ex-boyfriends were really outstanding people. They're smart people with very bright futures ahead of them. They're at levels that I highly doubt I'd be able to compete with.
This makes me really insecure. That I don't match up to the people she usually dates both physically and mentally. Ah fuck, I trust her so I know she won't cheat on me or anything, but this really eats me up.
I don't want to be one of those jealous, insecure boyfriends that gives his girlfriend no freedom and shows no trust. I like her, I really do. I love what we have going on and don't want to jeopardize it.
TL;DR: | My girlfriends exes outmatch me greatly and I get easily insecure. Fear it will end up like the relationship between Joey and Mona (friends reference) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm not sure if he [22 m] is into or just a really good friend [21F]. I've always struggled with this.
POST: He barely texts anyone and he is s lil social awkward.
He said that our text convo was the longest text convo he ever had. Then he awkwardly ended it....
I left our college town early and when he went out he was texting me all night.
I told him i had bulimia and when i almost collapsed he came over with a bunch of Gatorade and food and stayed with me.
When a guy hit on me and then left his phone at a bar, he wanted to return the phone. I returned it and he was.watching me the whole time.
TL;DR: | I don't know how to tell if a guy friend likes me as a friend, or if there is something more... |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Can someone help me lose 15 pounds?
POST: I just bought my prom dress online, and to my horror I found that it didn't fit properly. Sadly, the dress went through 3 countries before I got it and so the deadline for sending the dress back is long past. Therefore I'm hell-bent on making the dress fit. I want to lose about 15 pounds before prom in June, and wondered if lose-it could help me!
I'm 17, F, 5 7" and about 185 pounds. In other words *overweight*. I've always been of the muscular type with a somewhat bulky (ಠ\_ಠ )upper body, and I want to lose fat, and not so much muscle. I got access to a modest gym with the most basic equipment, and now that it's getting warmer I'm also open to doing stuff outside. What I *don't* have access to, however, is proper food as I live in a host family as a poor student. I therefore can't afford to buy a lot of *fancy* food.
Does lose-it have some healthy tips as to what to do with the food, healthy snacks and stuff, and what do do in the gym to reach my goals? :)
TL;DR: | F, 17 years old, 5 7", 185 lbs, with access to gym, needs help to lose 15 lbs in 2 1/2 months |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my GF [22 F] of about a year. Can't tell if she's hinting that she wants to move in with me.
POST: I've been dating my girlfriend for about 11 months now and things have been going really well as of late. We get along really well and rarely fight, everything is great physically and I feel like the relationship is firing on all cylinders.
I graduated six months ago and relocated about an hour away from our college town where we met and she still lives. We see each other a couple days a week, and things have been going really well as they are.
She has told me that when she graduates six months from now she'd like to relocate to the area where I am now since it's a large metropolitan area where there will be more career opportunity and also to be closer to me. Recently she has been saying things that I think may be hinting that she wants to move in with me. I've always been a more direct person and I'm not good at reading subtle signs, so I'm not sure if I'm interpreting her correctly.
She always says she can't wait to move closer to me and a couple weeks ago she said "I don't think I could ever live alone" (I currently live by myself). She doesn't know anyone who lives in my area (that she said she wants to move to). She has said a few other things along these lines and she tends to bring this up more often after we've been drinking. I feel like she's trying to bait me to ask if she wants to move in with me, but I'm not sure.
Last night she brought it up again when we were in bed saying "will you help me find a place to live?"
We're very much in love and I think this is a step I may be ready to take. I honestly do see her being someone I could be with for the long haul.
I started young and have been in my fair share of relationships and I've never connected on as many levels as I have with her. I'm just kinda scared of the commitment.. typical guy stuff I guess.
I'm looking for opinions on approaching this situation and on the whole "moving in" step in general from people who have been there.
TL;DR: | Pretty sure girlfriend wants to move in with me, not positive though. Think I may be ready too.. still have a few more months to decide and need general advice on this step in the relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I am completely lost in my decision to go back to school.
POST: A little about me - I am 26, married, have a home, and am full time in the military. I am finally in a position at work where I think I can swing going back to school. I would only be able to do online college, and am just plain lost.
I am looking at American Military University - a subschool of the APUS, American Public University System. Only problem is - these are FOR PROFIT schools, and I was told those were highly frowned upon, and the best online degrees were those from non profit accredited universities.
Money is of course always an issue, the service offers Tuition Assistance of 255$/Credit that I can take advantage of, and AMU's credit cost is just under that, and that is appealing. Other schools are VERY expensive, as you all know.
And of course what to take. I want to make money when I get out, and I love working with people. I have potential law enforcement jobs lined up, but if those do not work out/and or I just don't want to do that when I get out, I need a backup. I do not want a criminal justice degree, they are a dime a dozen and not required for law enforcement careers (I currently have about 6 years experience in the field anyway).
Im looking for something where I can help people, work with people, and make a decent living. Counselor? Nutritionist? Personal health something or another?
At AMU alone I have narrowed down to the following programs:
Sports and Health Sciences
Emergency Disaster Management
Health Information Management
Public Health
Nothing really jumps out as immediately appealing, because I don't know what careers are REALISTICALLY associated with these degrees.
TL;DR: | Gonna be 30 when I get out of the service and will need to find a new way to support my family. Need a degree to line myself up with a job where I can help and/or work with people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I get aroused when I think about women killing themselves by overdosing on meds... Am I OK?
POST: I tried to kill myself by via sleeping pills six years ago. Now I find the act erotic.
I don't want to sleep with the women, all I want is to hold them and have a good cry. However, for whatever reason I find women who have shuffled off through this particular ailment extraordinarily arousing.
I've thought long and hard about murdering folk and killing myself in a myriad of ways. I find the thought of screwing someone while killing/torturing them in creative and cruel ways downright orgasmic. I think about how to make someone's life unlivable through BDSM inspired forced slavery and it drives me wild.
Denying the basic rights of others up close in personal is a big part of my day to day fantasy experience,
I could go on but I feel I've painted a decent picture.
I am a non violent man. I've hurt no one and I feel I would never hurt anyone. I have bi-polar so I've spent my life building systems to control my behavior and mood; I am no threat to anyone, including myself. Ultra violence turns me on.
TL;DR: | I think about dead girls all day and I find real sex is extremely boring. Am I in trouble here? Do I need to bring this to my shrinks attention? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] and my girlfriend [20 F] have been dating for two years, but I feel like I am sharing her with her guy bestfriend
POST: For the two years I have dated her, she has always been best friends with this guy ever since they were kids. The thing is, is that I feel like I share her with him in terms of I'm not her #1 guy like a boyfriend/husband should be. Now, her best friend is a great guy and I have no problem with that, but I do have a problem with a few things:
1. She calls him by his middle name
2. She says I love you to him
3. She has sleepovers at his house
4. She told me that they planned to have him be the best man in her wedding
5. They have made plans to travel Europe together (just the two of them) even though I tried to make those same plans
6. She tells him about her problems instead of trying to works things out with me
This whole thing is quite odd for me and my male instincts just automatically make me somewhat jealous. I just don't know how I should feel about it or what I should do.
TL;DR: | She has a guy bestfriend. They act like a couple. How should I feel about this and/or what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, how do you teach children that sometimes people are shitty without making them forever jaded? I've got a disappointed birthday boy here.
POST: My son turned 3 this weekend and he was very sad that none of our family showed up for it. Even when they said they would be there.
The reason that they didn't show was because there is arguing amongst our family and they refused to just GET ALONG with each other for a 3 year old's birthday party. He said nobody came because they didn't like him.
I gave him teh best party I could and we played games with him all weekend, but I still feel terrible that this happened to him. I feel like I have to explain a bit of how the world works to him, but I don't know how.
TL;DR: | How do you let an innocent child know that the world isn't all rainbows and hearts without making them hate the world, or worse, hate themselves? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit help me out, i'm having some problems with imgur :(
POST: I have been googling my ass off for the last hour, and even downloaded and installed chrome (former firefox user). The good news is I love chrome and I'm converted, the bad news is that I'm still having the same problem with imgur. After lots of clicking and observing I've noticed that the imgur links with a letter i in front of the imgur.com address will load, and those that don't have a letter i in front won't. If I manually add "i." in front of imgur those will load also. Is there any way to make my browser smart and do this automatically?
TL;DR: | i need a way to add "i." automatically in front of any imgur links that don't have it in there already. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: lower-carb vegan?
POST: I'm a girl, 5-4, 165-ish ponds and I've been a vegan for about 6 months. I also run once or twice a week on trails, usually about 2 miles. When I became vegan I fell into the classic "I can eat anything I want as long as it's vegan" trap, and thanks to greasy thai dishes with heaps of white rice, vegan cookies, oreos, coconut-milk ice cream, and pretzels I haven't lost a pound since (I'm on a long journey, was 215 the day I delivered my son 22 months ago, 190 a couple of days later, sloooooww weight loss until going vegan and then a stall).
So I want to remain a vegan for personal reasons but obviously need to cut down on unhealthy vegan foods. Last week I began a lower-carb diet- no sugar, pasta, rice, fruit, flour, or starchy veggies like potatoes. I also am moving to "whole-food" sources of fat- eating almonds and avocados but using as little oil as possible when cooking. I'm also trying to get more on the ball with trail running after a slump. I *think* all of this is helping but it's hard to tell because my scale is cheap and weird and shows up to 7 pound fluctuations in a day, but weight seems to be trending downish, and I feel pretty good.
My question- for all the low-carbers out there- is it still beneficial to reduce carbs even if it doesn't send you into ketosis? I ask because I really need to eat legumes on a daily basis for protein and calories, and because of this I'm eating probably between 45 and 60 grams of carbs a day. Will this work? Also, does anyone have any good low-carb, high protein vegan food suggestions? Right now I'm eating a metric ton of veggies a day, especially leafy greens, and tofu, unsweetened soy milk, nuts, a couple of servings of beans daily, edamame, and that's about it. Like I said, I feel good and don't have any cravings at all (pleasant surprise) but the menu can get a
little boring!
TL;DR: | Main question- is 60 grams of high-quality carbs a day too much if you want to lose weight by reducing carbs? Must you actually go into ketosis to benefit from lower carbs? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why is it now acceptable for companies to produce electronics with expected/intentional expiration dates?
POST: I have been noticing more and more that we live in an age when it is common practice for electronics to fail just outside of their warranty. Cell phones, mp3 players, video game consoles, etc. are not built to last, as they once were. Instead, it seems that companies are intentionally installing/neglecting faults in these devices so that they will break in time and the consumer is forced to buy another. I understand that if I don't want to support companies doing this, then I shouldn't buy the product; but that is rapidly becoming an impossibility within our technological society. Why do consumers allow this type of shoddy business scam to take place?
TL;DR: | Newer electronics don't last as long as they used to, despite advances in technology; and companies reap huge profits from sales. Why is this acceptable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: TL; DR How to tell my current boyfriend that I want to meet up with my ex?
POST: I (f28) love my boyfriend (m30) of 18 months and we plan to get married. I know i want to spend the rest of my life with him. There is no doubt in my mind. But because of where I work, there is a chance I may run into my ex (m29). I actually want to talk to him to clear some air that was left foggy when we ended things 2 yrs ago. I think talking to him and getting something off my chest would officially allow me to move forward in my current relationship. But I don't know how to bring it up to my boyfriend. Part of me thinks he will understand if I tell him and he will appreciate me being honest with him because that is how he is. But I'm also worried he'd be upset and that's the last thing I want.
TL;DR: | what is the best way to approach this situation? Do I confront my ex or am I setting myself up for a mess? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: When have you done chose the right thing to do even if it didn't benefit you in any way? (short story inside)
POST: I just came back from work, and I live in town houses. We have 5 total cars, and only have space for 1 car in the garage (we have 3 motorcycles too) and we always have to park the rest of the cars out on the street or in this small parking lot by the office whenever theres spots open. So im just driving around up and down streets and lots looking for parking, and i notice a red Jeep SUV with its door open. And I don't mean as in fully open and not even just open a crack. It was open so there was about 6-7 inches in between the B-Pillar and the door. I slow down while driving past it and try to see if anyone's inside the car. There was no one inside. So I think that maybe someone might've left it open because they had to run in their house really quick and were gonna come back soon. So i drive away and find parking in another parking lot on the other side of my house. This is easily about 10 minutes later. I'm thinking about the car and about what i could find if maybe i looked inside. I mean we all probably have had these thoughts in this situation. So i walk past my house to check on the car again, thinking the owner might've driven away or something. Nope. So i go there, turn my iPhone's flashlight on, and open the door. A strong stench of cigarette smoke hits me, and i see lottery scratchers in the cup holders. I contemplate for a second and just lock the doors with the switch, close the door, and walk away. I felt good.
TL;DR: | I saw a car with a door open at night, thought about stealing things from it, but didn't and locked the car instead. |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: Hey /r/GetMotivated, I posted my side project iDoneThis here in February, and now we've gone from a stupid idea to 500,000 entries made -- Thank You!
POST: Hey guys -- I wanted to say "thanks", and write about the power of putting something out there and improving it incrementally!
I've built a bunch of web projects, but none that got more than a handful of users. I'd lose interest pretty quick.
iDoneThis started out as an email from my friend Rodrigo and the title of the email was literally, "stupid idea". The idea was a site that'd email you every day and ask what you did, and you could just reply to make an entry. We built it over a weekend and got a few hundred users on Hacker News.
They gave us some solid feedback and encouragement, and so we made a few improvements in our free time. We used as inspiration the idea that we'd post it here on reddit next in February.
February came around, and we procrastinated, but by the end of the month, we had something to post with a few improvements. We posted here and /r/productivity.
You guys gave us great feedback and encouragement. We saw that people really loved what we were doing, and we were actually helping people get more done.
We quit what we were doing, went full time, and haven't looked back. We were able to raise a small round, and now we're up to 500,000 entries made by our users! It's been an incredible journey.
It's year-end, so I just wanted to come back and say "Thank you".
TL;DR: | got motivation to improve side project from encouragement on reddit, built it into a quasi-legit startup and have helped people get 500,000+ things done. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I get stepped on in life
POST: I've always spent my time working to make others happy, and Ive always been well liked and no one has hated me. but I've been in a relationship now for 4 years and since we started dating he has always told me I shouldn't allow people to walk all over me, and I don't want to fight with people so I only stuck up for myself when it comes to him, now he thinks I'm just a bitch to him, and so I started sticking up for myself with more people and now I feel like shit, I don't know how to argue my points so I always look like the bad guy my boyfriend and my friends think I'm a bitch. But when ever I try to be the way I was and just make every one happy, all my friends and boyfriend treat me like a coward, and tell me I need to stick up for myself and I don't know what to do. I'm getting in trouble for doing what they say and not doing what they say its horrible and I don't know what to do with myself. I want to make everyone happy, how do I tell them that until they started getting upset about it I didn't care I was getting stepped on.
TL;DR: | I get stepped on, then called a coward for allowing it, but then everyone hates me when I stand up for myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Is busy actually busy? Or a blow off?
POST: Bit of a back story for anyone interested:
I pretty much accepted that I was going to be a forever alone, and stopped dating altogether. That changed when I got this woman's number a couple weeks ago. We've been talking quite a bit, with her actually making initiative to engage a conversation first, which is a 1st for me.
Well we went on our 1st date and things were pretty awkward, with a couple awkward silences here and there but went for the most part what I thought was pretty good. This girl had the most amazing eyes and smile, and more she caught me gazing a couple times and we both had a laugh, but because I suck at flirting I didn't mention how beautiful I thought she was.
Date ends, she grabs for a hug, we go our separate ways, and I told her I'd like to go out again and she responds that she'd like to as well. I told her when I was available, since we're both pretty busy and she told me she was busy with legitimate stuff, and would love to meet up again but when I tried to carry on a conversation, nothing. Was I kindly blown off?
TL;DR: | had date, went awkward but ok. She said she wanted to go on another date, but was busy. Tried to start conversation got nothing. Am I being blown off? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Found a journal, don't know what to think.... [f16] [m17]
POST: Hi, so before I start, I'd like to say that yes, I know it's wrong to snoop and that I'm paranoid and a terrible person. But I do have a legitimate reason not to fully trust him, he and I both agree on that. We've been together for 11 months. Now, onto it.
So I found a journal I gave my boyfriend as a gift, and being curious I thought I'd read a page. He started writing in it when he left to another province for a competition. What I found was documentation of girls he's met, what he thinks of them, how pretty he finds them and how they sat with him and how his friend who went with him wanted to spend time with these GIRLS. Note, he didn't write about any boys or anything, and he also wrote about how much time he spent alone with these girls. There was nothing written about him cheating, but I also came across a page where he referred to me as his ex girlfriend (we weren't bf/gf at the time, but we WERE exclusive to one another).
I told him that I read this and he was understandably mad, and I promised not to do it again and I won't, but I just didn't realise at the time how much time he was spending with so many girls. Now, should I be worried at all? I didn't read the whole thing, so I don't know if he cheated or not, but it DID sound like he was flirting. I haven't brought this journal up again but I've been growing increasingly worried about it, and I'm just wondering if this is at all justified? And if the things he wrote in his journal is at all normal behaviour? Thanks.
TL;DR: | Bf[17] kept a journal writing about his relationships with other girls, not sure if I[16] should be worried or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/Couple] Questions about moving in together.
POST: Hey guys so I'm a 20yo M whose at University and has been in a relationship for over a year now and I'm looking for some advice. I've basically spent nearly all my time at my girlfriends house since we've been together and love spending time with her so we were thinking that during our 3rd year we'd just try living together and seeing how it goes. We're not worried about the relationship or being around each other too much at all but we are worried about the fact she's already signed the contract for her new place and she's not allowed to sublet (apparently it is in the contract) so I'm quite worried about moving in in case we're "found out" somehow and kicked out of the accommodation. I was just wondering if anyone's had a similar situation like this and has any advice for us? Money is quite a large motivation for us to because it would obviously save a lot and we do hope to holiday together summer 2015 after graduation.
TL;DR: | worried about moving in with girlfriend as she's not allowed to sublet her room but since it's for a fixed time should we risk it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I recently found out I have three half sisters from one of my fathers previous marriages 20 years ago. How do I go about finding out more information about them?
POST: Back story:
About a month ago I was over at my parents house and somehow the subject came up about my fathers previous marriages and his first date with my mother and he starts going on about how my mom loved the way he talked about his three little daughters but before I could ask anything my mother hushed him up so he wouldn't say anything more about the subject. I am 22 years old, so this would have happened about 8-10 years before I was born.
Needless to say I am more then a little curious and a little floored that I have three "long-lost" sisters. Judging by my fathers term "little" I assume they were born in the late 70's and extreme early 80's.
How do I go about finding more information about them? I would talk to my father about it but he isn't exactly one to talk about stuff in his past, the only reason he spilled the beans in the first place was because he was drunk, and I don't want him going ape shit over me asking what is a pretty decent question to ask. I am not trying to cause any trouble in my family or the family's of my three half-sisters, I am just curious about them.
TL;DR: | I have three half-sisters from my one of my fathers previous marriages, how do I go about finding information on them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the worse way you have been woken up?
POST: Last night my cat woke me up in the most unpleasant way I have ever experienced.
So a little back story on the situation. I just helped my family move from Seattle to Dallas, and I am staying down here with them for a week. We have a small dog and a very large, 20 pound cat, that we believe to be a Maine Coon. He has also had his front claw removed because he can get really nasty. Since we moved he has had a lot of trouble finding cool, comfortable places to sleep since we came from a fairly large house in a moderate climate to a small 2 bedroom apartment in Texas.
Anyways, I have been sleeping on the couch in the living room. Last night my cat decides he really wanted to be up on the back of the couch (although he is really large he can still jump on the counters and such with no problem.) Well for whatever reason instead of jumping on the arm of the chair, he decides he can clear my head. He doesn't have front claws so he can't really pull himself up should he not make it. Low and behold he lands right on my hand, extends his back claws into my scalp, and then pushes with all his body weight off of my head like a flipping spring board. I woke up very confused when he landed on me, and then by the time he dug his claws into me I was already conscious and now really pissed.
TL;DR: | My 20 pound cat didn't make a jump over me, and dug his claws into my head has he pushed off of me with his whole body weight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I just bought a stolen iPhone, how do I give it back to the original owner?
POST: Hey guys, so I just got a stolen phone off Craigslist without checking to see if it was reported lost/stolen (it sounds so stupid now!). Anyway, the guy I bought it from has ghosted on me, and now I am just trying to get the phone back to the original owner. However, the phone was restored to factory settings before I bought it, so I can't look up the person's info. I called Sprint (the phone's carrier), but they said that they wanted me to just turn it in to them, and that they couldn't give me the person's contact info. They said that the person probably had insurance on it and that they might have another phone already, so generally, I don't really want to give it to Sprint if they are just going to take credit for it and/or take the phone for themselves if the person already has a new phone. I would like to contact the person myself and give it back to them, or see if they already have a new phone. It's hard enough losing money for no reason, I would rather at least see to it that the person gets the phone myself.
TL;DR: | I bought a stolen phone and want to get it back to the original owner myself without going through the Carrier. Also, the phone has been restored, is there anyway I can do this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've [26M] never felt a thing for my male [older] and female [within 1 year +/- of age] partners beyond a vague sense of companionship
POST: I've had 4 relationships (3 girls, 1 guy) and 2 additional short-term sexual partners (2 guys). I've never felt anything for them beyond a vague sense of companionship that comes from friendship - and more often less. (I thought I was gay, hence the guys, but that did nothing for me either, and anal kind of disgusts me, even though I often get off on it while reading erotica.)
I feel a complete lack of desire, even for the excessively pretty girls/guys I may happen across on the street or in my classes (phd student, math.)
I have a core group of friends, but i suspect they feel more for me that I for them. My family is similar grey: we never really communicated a lot during my childhood (and since we were a family that broke apart due to an abusive parent, we should have), and the remainder of the family (mother, grandparents) punished me (for punish-worthy infractions) by occasionally being verbally abusive (comparing me to a father whom I'd done a shit-lot to completely efface from my life; telling me they should have just dumped me with my father's side of the family - bastards who ignored the abuse my mother suffered.) I think that is the primary reason why while I may love them in an abstract way, I don't particularly care to communicate a lot or be with them.
It's not that I like loneliness - and I do feel lonely. It's just, there is no impulse or desire to connect, even with people with whom that connection should be there.
For a while I thought that maybe I had some perverted kind of desire, but after exposing myself to a couple of more obvious sources of perversion (in written erotica, porn does nothing for me and never really has) I crossed that off, thankfully.
I honestly don't know what to do here. Aside from going to a therapist.
TL;DR: | Haven't ever felt a thing for my partners for either gender. Is therapy my last resort, or am I missing something here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, do you spend time on girls you're not attracted to? Or are all female friends a potential interest?
POST: Hello! 24/f here, who has all too often run into problems with guys misunderstanding my desire to be friends, and not more.
So please sound off here:
- Is your group of female friends also a potential dating pool?
- Do you still get turned on by her, even if you're the one that considers it a "just friends" situation?
- When you spend time with a girl, and have a fun time, is there usually more to it?
- If you have a girlfriend, and hot female friends also, does your love/lust for the GF blot them out?
Reddit, I've actually learned so much here about how to be friendly without sending wrong signals. I'll admit that I made mistakes, especially in my teenage years when I thought platonic friendships were more common than crushes! I do try hard to be upfront about things now, but I've always found it more fun to be friends with males rather than females. You guys are just much funnier and more interesting to me!
By the way, I totally believe in the right to ogle others, even while in a committed relationship. One can be dedicated without locking their sexuality in an iron box! I'm just curious about these questions above, and trust Reddit as the best source on the male psyche!
TL;DR: | Would you hook up with your "just friends" female buddies, in your fantasies, or irl? Or can there be "just friends" that are close, but you don't think of sexually? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making my toddler think I have magic powers.
POST: About a week ago, my 2 year old son saw a toy race track in a box in the garage. I have several hand me down toys from my nephew stored in the garage, waiting until my son is old enough to play with them. He wanted the race track so I got it out of the box, grabbed a car for him to race with and put it together. He was having a blast with it so I went back to the garage to see what else I could find and I found 2 more cars for the race track.
I wanted to surprise him with the new cars so I put them behind my back, told him I had a surprise for him, dramatically yelled "Abracadabra!" and revealed my surprise. He was shocked and excited and it was fun.
Fast forward to the present- we were watching a show on TV and during the commercial break he turned to me and said "I want that toy." I said "I'm sorry, maybe for your birthday or Christmas but we aren't getting a new toy right now." He said "Just 'abracadabra' it!" It dawned on me that he truly thinks I pulled those race cars out of nowhere and that I have magic powers. Now, anytime he wants something he asks me to "abracadabra" it and refuses to believe that it's not possible.
TL;DR: | I surprised my son with a toy by saying "abracadabra," now he thinks I can magic him any toy he wants. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my husband [28 M] unhappy, more or less sexless 3-year marriage.
POST: We've been married for three years, and aside from the lack of sex, we don't really have issues. We barely do it anymore. Maybe once a month, if I hassle him enough. He says he still wants me, but never shows it. The last time he initiated was three months ago; he was drunk. Every time I ask him or try to seduce him, he gives me a reason to not (too tired, hungry, busy) or tells me "later, I promise". The problem is, "later" never comes. I've even tried just leaving him be and waiting until he comes to me, but I ended up waiting three months before I couldn't take it anymore.
Before we lived together, things were great; he couldn't keep his hands off me.
I feel like I'm not able to trust him anymore because all of his promises are BS and he never follows through. I've tried everything, and proposed couples' therapy but he refuses. If I try to physical initiate, he pushes me away (says he doesn't, but does). I know he's not cheating on me. Every time I try to have a serious conversation about this, he blocks me out and tells me he swears things will change, but they never do.
I don't want to leave him for this, as I love him and know he loves me, but I'm getting desperate here. Not to mention I have a friend who would be more than willing to "help me out" and each day that goes by, I'm getting closer to taking him up on his offer.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | Apparently my husband doesn't physically want me anymore, won't talk about it, and I'm seriously considering finding someone else to fulfill my needs; |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27 F] would like to have casual sex, but am experiencing issues of self-doubt
POST: **This is definitely more of a personal issue than relationships, but leads to how I form relationships with others and interact. I love this community, but understand if you Mods think this should be moved to another subreddit.**
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I have had two long-term relationships (about 3 years each) from ages 18-22, the second of which broke my heart and I maintained distance from men for a very long time afterward.
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Since then I have casually hooked up three times, all what amounted to be one-night stands when I was looking for a more long-term FWB thing.
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The thing is, I've only had PIV sex during two of those one-night stands (both men I was previously dating are devout Catholics and apparently PIV was their breaking point).
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I feel like I'm finally ready to start dating around a bit more and for something casual - it's been 2 years since my last one-night-stand, but I feel like my inexperience is a turn-off for most people and in turn, I myself get turned off. In fact, it is now so bad and so deep-seeded that I have a hard time even being attracted to people. I mean, I obviously find many people (men and women alike) quite sexy and good to look at. I go on dates through means of online dating (and have never found someone I'm attracted to beyond their body).
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I suppose what I'm looking for here is the following:
- An answer to, "Is it really a big deal or not that I'm 27 and not very sexually experienced?"
- How can I stop being so turned-off by others? Is it something in my head, or is it just the people I meet through online dating aren't very interesting? I should add to this, I met a man over the summer (he had a gf unfortunately) who I was quite attracted to mentally and physically.... so I don't think I'm incapable of feeling that way entirely.
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Thanks so much for any input you can provide.
TL;DR: | I'm embarrassed by how non-often I've had PIV sex and think it's the root of my attraction problems to others and am now too scared to have sex.... but want to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23/M] cheated on my GF [23/F] of five years, tell her?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for five years and I cheated on her over four years ago, six months into our relationship.
It happened at a party when I was in school, I was fully aware of what was happening when I did it, not drunkness, not drugs, and I fully know how wrong it was and that simply I was unfaithful.
It lasted five minutes and the second it ended I felt huge shame and guilt.
It happened very shortly after my girlfriend and I got back together, our relationship had been very rocky that month, us splitting up and getting back together but we were together and our relationship was going relatively good.
I never told her, she deserved to know then and I was too big of a coward to tell her.
Fast forward almost five years and I've remained faithful ever since and she never found out. We recently started talking marriage and suddenly that huge guilt came down on me again.
Obviously I'm not expecting sympathy, I just need to know if it's worth telling her, hurting her so long after it happened. It's unfair to her, that she would have to deal with that pain but she has every right to know.
TL;DR: | I cheated on my girlfriend sevens months into our five year relationship, never told her and remainded faithful ever since. Marriage is now being talked about and conflicted on telling her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How common is it for people to commit insurance fraud?
POST: Our house was recently broken into. When we did the first walk-thru of the house alongside police detectives, we immediately noticed that the thieves took the flat screen television, a laptop, and 2 pair of Nike Air Maxes. After the detectives left and we began to clean up, we noticed a couple of other small items missing. The insurance company explained to us the timeline to submit a claim, noting that sometimes after an initial claim is filed, a homeowner or renter may realize something is missing that they weren't previously aware of, and that it is possible to add that to the claim as long as it falls within their deadline to file. This is relevant because, as those who may have had their homes broken into before may know, sometimes the initial shock and trauma of the situation can make it difficult to fully assess the losses immediately afterward.
One of us wants to file a claim that reflects as accurately as possible the losses we have incurred. The other thinks that it is not uncommon for people to fudge (to their benefit) what was stolen, with the justification that we should be compensated for the stress and anxiety associated with the event. When we have presented this situation to our friends, they tend to agree with the POV of the person they have the strongest relationship with (i.e. his friends agree with him, her friends agree with her). FWIW, we are an interracial couple in our 20s living in the mid-South, and we believe that there is a cultural influence at play regarding our differing opinions on the "right" and "wrong" of this scenario.
We would like to know how common it is for people to commit insurance fraud (including not only falsifying a claim thru flat-out lying about what was stolen, but also over-inflating the value of what was taken).
TL;DR: | One of us feels that committing insurance fraud is not the norm and is morally wrong; the other feels that lying on an insurance claim is a victimless crime and is fair compensation for the trauma experienced. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I think I messed this up massive me [25/m] her [25/f] 7-8 Months
POST: A little back story we meet on Tinder last November and have been meeting up and going out spending hours with each other and things things were going go and we was enjoying time with each other. I wasn't rushing her or anything. Every time we departed we would agree to meet up again which we would do.
We meet up 2 weeks ago and everything was great and fine we had a great time and agreed to meet up the follow week. I really should have made the move on her but I am too much of a coward. We couldn't as she had to travel to see some family but that happens. But since than she has became so distant with me. I may not have helped as we agreed to meet up this weekend just gone. However she said she may have to work so she will get back to me. This is where I messed up.
So I waited until Friday and asked she blanked that comment and went on to ask about my day and other things so asked again with the same response and I gave up. However the next day went out with some friends got drunk as you do and well sent a line or two saying look I am sorry for asking like that.
Now not spoken to her since Saturday night and I have noticed she has started to use tinder again a lot more logging in a lot. Where as before it had been months before she logged into it. I dunno what I can do or say to save this.
At this point even if its over it would be nice just to be told yeah it would suck. But we had plans for stuff coming up in the next few weeks that required tickets.
TL;DR: | I meet this amazing girl couldn't control myself become over keen and messed up and now I dunno what to do to save it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, for April Fools this year, we should coordinate a massive internet prank
POST: Seeing how powerful we are as a community on the net, I feel as if it would be appropriate to coordinate a prank on the naive internet sheeple (mainly facebook and/or twitter).
I have nothing to propose yet, but would be great to start brainstorming some ideas to troll the net, or even better, the MPAA and RIAA. This would be a great opportunity to bring attention to the world that the MPAA and RIAA are trying to ruin the web.
Ideas could be: For the entire day, everyone tweet/facebook about some fake news article. Maybe even troll the MPAA or RIAA somehow.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | lets brainstorm ideas to troll the internet on 4/1/12, including trolling MPAA and/or RIAA, which can bring attention to the general public |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex dumped me because of distance then bought a house and moved to Vegas with someone else
POST: I just need a hug or something. I'm pretty depressed, can't sleep, and have started to have a mental breakdown because of this.
Full Story
We meet a couple years ago (I'm 24 female and hes 31 male) and we started dating in January. Things were progressing kind of slowly, but I could understand because he was going through a lot of life changes. This July, things were going well and we went on a little vacation. It was absolutely perfect and he told me how he hadn't been able to feel so comfortable and happy with anyone else. He got me started on thinking about our future and how he might really be the one. Then while I was on a business trip he texted me that he thought it would be better for us to end it. No real reason except "the distance sucks." Which, I had explained that I wanted to move someplace for him so it could be okay.
Well, he still wanted to cut it off, but remain friends so I did my best to buck up and deal with my heartbreak. I started to question some things he was doing more and more only to discover, when I asked very directly, that he already had a new girlfriend (a term he never wanted to use to refer to me) and that he was moving to Vegas with her at the end of the year.
I was supposed to visit him next month for my birthday and he mentioned that "if we ended up having sex I couldn't tell his girlfriend." This was someone I spent enormous amounts of time and money on and he broke my heart then wanted to use my $900 trip out to see him for my birthday as a booty call.
I feel like absolute shit since all I wanted to do was give him love and support. I need some cheering up now so that I can get my life back on track. It's gotten pretty bad to where I find it tricky to focus on work, eat meal, and get sleep. :(
TL;DR: | Thought I found the one, but turned out to be just a canadian dickbag. Now I need a hug. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[19M] and my [18F] GF of 3 months are going to be 5 hours apart due to college.
POST: We have been going out for 3 months this summer and having a great time. We really care about each other and think the world of each other. Our relationship seems to just keep growing and growing and now it's going to be cut short by college, or is it? Do you guys think it could work or recommend going for it or is it not worth it?
Regardless we have agreed to stay in touch and be friends througout college because we both have the same end-game city and plan for life, just to keep our options open down the road if we live in the same city it could rekindle. The other option would be to try the LDR which would be about 5 hours.
I think we're both down but a little worried our relationship would just fizzle out and we would also lose that friendship then too because we would only have known each other romantically. I have classes until 1 pm on Friday's so I could get up by 7 or 8 Friday night and then be with her for the weekend and then come back Sunday night or early monday morning before my 11 o'clock class. In the breaks we would also see each other and I would try to get a summer internship in her city, because that's my favorite city in the world and I want to live there for the rest of my life; as does she.
I really care about her and want her in my life, preferably romantically but we also get along great as friends as well!!! We could try the friend route for college, see other people, and then see where we are after college and if things align, give it another go. I'm just worried though that if we try this, she'll find a boyfriend, and stop contacting me after awhile because I'll just be some old ex from a different city and I really want her in my life because she is the coolest funniest person I know.
I also don't want to lose her because of a strained LDR. Which route do you think I should go? Also, ask me any questions if you need more clarification about anything.
TL;DR: | Should I give this LDR a go or go the friend route? And should I realistically expect to be friends with her if she meets someone else in that time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Awkward and difficult RSVP response, any tips?
POST: So, long story short we're very tight on seat numbers and for that reason aren't invited kids to our wedding. This has prompted some questions from a few guests but after after a bit of explaining, it's been completely fine.
There was one last late reply that I had to chase up, my half sister's half brother. I sent him a casual facebook message to jog his memory, and a day or so later he responded with "I'll be there and will also be bringing X (his 2 year old child)". By that point I was a bit sick of having to apologetically explain kids weren't invited, despite clear labelling of save the dates, invitations and also RSVP cards- especially as this was past the deadline we had set. I decided not to pussyfoot around and just straight out explain we can't accommodate his child, and to let me know if that changed anything. No response.
My half sister had already offered to do the chasing on our behalf because she knows he can be a little irritating and noncommittal and I'd declined the offer the first time. So I decided to rope her in for backup because she knows how to deal with him. Apparently he has then asked her about the invite being addressed to 'Mr X and Guest', and if that meant he could bring his child or if we wanted him to bring someone else. Now I know for a fact that that invite or RSVP card did not say 'X and Guest'. I know this because I had to specifically reprint his RSVP card and envelope after he broke up with his ex partner. It went from 'Mr X and Miss Y' to just 'Mr X', because I wasn't willing to have a stranger (to us) as his new +1 at our smaller wedding, plus he'll be surrounded by his very close and tight knit family.
He's messaged me since saying he'll be there, but I feel the need to ensure he knows there isn't a +1 there for him... how on earth can I address that?
TL;DR: | Guest has misread (somehow) his invite and assumed he has a plus one, after already being told we can't invite his child due to space issues. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I f(21) overreacting to what my boyfriend m(26) told his cousin?
POST: Background info- my boyfriend is the sweetest, nerdiest, cute guy in the world. Recently, his cousin and my sister had a fling, to which he didn't share any details with me.
This morning, I saw he had a message from his cousin, and of course it peaked my curiosity to look... Thinking it was about sister. I know this is wrong that I looked.
However, his message to his cousin last night was talking about another girl who his cousin recently became FB friends with. My bf, was asking his cousin if he had "fuc***" her yet? Then, he proceeded to say that this girl was sooooo hot. And if he could, he would fu** her all night.
Seeing this made me sick. I didn't think my boyfriend thought that way, and it really hurt me. Trust me... He's never like that. Am I overreacting?
TL;DR: | my bf m(26) told his cousin m(28) that he would love to f*** another girl. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: [CA] Received a collection notice out of the blue for 5 REALLY old debts, that I need to dispute. Tired of this collection company.
POST: I'm sure most of you have dealt with this question more times than you can count but, I'm really tired of this local collection company.
I settled about 5 debts with them in 2014 (not pictured, but I have the letters) and got them to delete the entries from the credit bureau's but it was a huge PITA and I had to pay full price minus most of the interest IIRC.
Now, they are coming back and saying I owe these 5 debts (
I haven't called them and know I need to write a letter but:
1. Do I have to write 5 separate letters?
2. What should I say?
3. How can they even attempt to charge me hundreds of dollars in interest when they never mentioned any of these debts when I've spoken to them previously.
4. How can they add entries to my credit report on items which are easily 5-7years old?
TL;DR: | Collection agency just sent me notice on a bunch of really old debts that they just added. How can I give them the middle finger properly? (I think they readded stuff I've paid already). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I feel like my [22M] friend [22M] has been contacting a girl [22F] that I had an intense platonic relationship with. Thoughts ?
POST: I was in high school about 4-5 years ago, and had a good friend group of about 4 people I still stay in touch with today. I had an intense platonic ish relationship with a girl that was close with my friend group at the time, went through a very emotionally taxing period of not talking to her, and haven't spoken to her since about 2 years or so.
Recently, every few weeks or so, I see her like an instagram or facebook post one of the friends from that friend group makes. I saw him this summer after not having seen him for 2 years or so, and over coffee I remember him briefly saying something along the lines of "you know, before you knew her, I was into her" but that "he doesnt talk with anyone from that time anymore [besides people in our friend group]". I remember him telling me our last year of high school that that girl had approached him to ask whether she should get serious with me, and that he had told her not to ("because it would be emotionally taxing", etc).
I have a sneaking suspicion he is trying to maintain contact with her so he can get with her, and that this whole time he has been into her and acting in a machiavellian manner. I still have a ton of feelings for this girl but don't speak with her anymore because we parted ways very harshly. Am I crazy ? I'm not sure what to make of what he said that last year of high school; at the time I sort of understood but thinking about it now, it was none of his business, and if anything why would he do that ?
TL;DR: | Have a sneaking suspicion an old friend of mine has been trying to stay in contact with a girl i had intense platonic ish relationship with. am trying to make sense of situation based off what i observed he's been doing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: bf (28m, me 25f) conveniently left failed to mention lunch with ex gf, and i need to clear the air with him
POST: So my bf (of about 7 months) always tells me about his plans with his friends when he has plans with them. He tells me all these details about them, like their names, where they went to school, how they know each other, etc, and i never really ask for any of this info, it's just how the bf talks. Anyway, he told me he had brunch plans with a "friend" today. Apparently, his friend is visiting from DC for a public health conference, and he knows her from college. The weird part was that when I asked him who this friend is, he just said "oh, just a friend from college". No name, no inane details, nothing. This is very atypical for him. I am 99% sure it's his ex, who he has said he was going to marry at one point. What happened between them is unclear to me, and I don't really feel comfortable asking. The couple time he has mentioned it, the story has been different. I'm pretty sure it's her because she's his only friend who would be in town from DC for a public health conference, that plus his dodginess. He never talks about her, ever. He talks about other exes when it's relevant, but never this one. I don't care that they are in touch or are friends, it's the shadiness that bothers me....a lot. Furthermore, I know she still sends him cutsie messages (that is a whole different story I'm not getting into), so I don't know what that's about. I'm going to talk to him about it because I need to, but I don't know how to start that conversation without sounding accusatory. Halp pleez.
TL;DR: | bf met up with serious ex of his for an entire day, didn't tell me. I don't know how to talk to him about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Did I [23 M] make the right choice by ending things with my girlfriend [23 M/F]? Lots of history.
POST: Back story: this is a girl I was introduced to by her aunt whom I was close friends with nearly 7 years ago. She was seeing someone at the time, but we started becoming intimate once their relationship ended. There was no overlap to my knowledge.
We weren't the most solid couple, being so young, but we developed a strong bond from an early-ish age. It became toxic towards the end.
Two years later, a mutual friend encourages us to start talking again, and we hit if off. We gave it some time and decided to give the relationship another shot and we lasted about 6 months.
I had graduated with an engineering degree with lots of recognitions and job offers. She was in exactly the same place; dropped out after a few part time classes not any closer to a career. Spent her free time watching reality TV shows like the Kardashians and not really doing anything with her life. I could work with her credit card debt, and other personal issues. What constantly bothered me was she could never stimulate me in an intellectual way. Conversations felt incredibly repetitive until we just sort of stopped talking. I could only deal with the silent treatment for 2 weeks before I ended things.
The caviet is we still love eachother, but it's hard to picture spending my life with her. She always talked about wanting a ring/baby, which sounded nice til I thought about the logistics of everything. I guess what I'm just looking for is just to make sure I ended things for the right reasons. Was I being selfish or expecting too much for being 23 years old? Not everyone has their life figured out at 23, but she didn't even have a plan. I did not want to be sugar daddy.
TL;DR: | I ended my relationship because GF couldnt not challenge me in an intellectual way. Broke up with her. Was I being selfish? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Cant be bothered to hold the elevator? Feel my petty wrath!
POST: I live in a 20 floor apartment building. The laundry is on the top floor - I live on the 10th. Our elevators are slow as balls sometimes, so waiting for one is a real bitch sometimes and can tale upwards of five minutes.
I ran to the nearby convince store to get smokes just before changing my load of laundry. As I'm walking into the building someone is getting into the elevator and I wave to ask them to hold it for me. As I'm approaching, they look at me uncomfortably and press the door close button. Fuck. Whatever. I'll wait.
So I see them go up to the second floor on the display - not like they would've had to go out of their way to hold the fucking elevator.
Wait for the next elevator, which stops at their floor. Oh look, it's this asshole again. Cool. Both of us go up to the laundry in silence.
So we do our thing and end up going back to the elevator together.
As the door closes I feel one of those farts coming. It's gonna smell. It's gonna be gruesome. Elevator moves slowly to my floor, and as it passes the floor before mine, I left out the deadliest of silent but deadlies.
Get off. Give them a nod. Burst into a fit of tears when I get back home.
Fuck you for not holding the door.
TL;DR: | person in my building couldn't hold the elevator for me, so I made them sit on the worlds slowest elevator for 8 floors of one of my nastiest farts. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 F] have been seeing [29 M] for about a month. Want to do a group date with a friend of mine. Too soon?
POST: So I've been seeing this guy regularly for about a month, we talk nearly every day, but of course nothing serious yet. Haven't had the "exclusive" talk, all casual so far. My close friend (F) and I have been meaning to go out, and she has also been seeing a guy, so we thought it might be fun for us to all hang out together. This would be meeting for drinks at a bar, not dinner or anything. Since the thing with me and the guy is so new, I don't want to freak him out by making this sound like a big deal "meet my friends cuz we're a couple" thing. It's my intention for it to be VERY casual. How do I go about this? Or is it too soon to even be doing this sort of thing?
TL;DR: | Seeing a guy for a month. Too soon for a "group date/hangout"? How do I word this without making it sound too serious/freaking him out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27 M] broke up with my GF [25F] of 5 months because of her past, and now she's freaking out.
POST: Background: I started dating Ashley around 5 months ago. We met at a local concert, started hanging out after it, and soon started dating.
Within 4 months Ashley told me that she loved me, and it was clear that she was pretty into me, and was always telling me about how I'm the best guy she ever dated, and going on about how estatic she was to be with me and all that.
I didn't feel as strongly as she did, but I really liked her and I've always been slow to develop feelings anyways.
Anyways, one night we were drinking and chilling, and got to talking about college and somehow the conversation got to talking about past relationships.
Eventually we kind of got into the topic of past partners and sexual history.
Well, I found out that she slept with around 17 guys, and did other stuff with like 5 more...
I was pretty jarred to be honest, but I didn't react and kept cool and ignored it for the night. To be quite honest though, I'm not cool with her past, and decided its just best to break things off before the relationship goes further.
So the next day, I met up with her and told her that I just wasn't really feeling it, and broke it off with her. I didn't want to tell her the real reason because I don't want her to feel bad/insecure about something she can't do anything about.
Well, the past week shes been freaking out, obviously she started crying when I broke up with her, but sinc ethen she's been texting me and calling me nonstop, begging me to re-consider, asking what she did wrong, and just being really upset.
I feel really bad about all of this, and I feel really bad for her and want to make her feel better, but I don't know what to do. Should I come clean and tell her the actual reason I broke up with her?!?!?
TL;DR: | broke up with gf over her past, didn't tell her real reason, she's very upset, dont know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25M] girlfriend [26F] and the stripper. Updated.
POST: original:
Went onto Jen's fb account last night and found a shit load more pictures on a secret group page. i don't want to get into details of what was on there but i now know that she definitely cheated on me and almost every girl there in a relationship cheated on their boyfriends in one way or another (even the fucking bride to be). I feel fucking sick.
I flipped at her last night. cheating is one thing, but she straight-up lied about it to my face. Every single person there knew exactly what was going on and lied to me as well. I feel like a complete idiot and everyone who said i was being stupid yesterday was 100% correct.
We're going to talk again tonight now we've both calmed down but I'm not sure this thing is salvageable based on how ape-shit I went last night and what she has done. An honest mistake could be forgiven but I have a hard time thinking about forgiving a liar. I want to get past this with her. i know people will say this is utter BS idea but i still love her and i don't want to let this situation end us.
I need help reddit. Sorry for being a moany idiot but is there any way to salvage this? Does counselling work? How do i make sure this shit doesn't happen again? and wtf do I do about the psycho girl who has copies of all these photos? should I tell the groom that his bride was at it as well?
TL;DR: | she definitely cheated and i don't know what to do. I need to fix this relationship. I don't want to end something so good over something as shitty as this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to end long term relationship with gf (8 years)
POST: I am 29 male, gf is 30. We have been together for 8 years (since we were in our early twenties) and have recently moved into rented property (with another friend) for 6 months.
However, I don't feel the same way about her now. I'm older and I realise life is too short, we don't have the same interests and values and I don't feel attracted to her anymore. I feel like I need freedom to meet other people... I feel stuck.
I don't know how to tell her... Our lives are intertwined and we have done a lot over the years to help each other grow. I think it will break her heart, I feel like I can't, like I'm paralysed with fear over how she will react (she can get quite aggressive), she will say things like 'what a waste of 8 years' and question me over how long I have felt this way.
This is also my first proper relationship and I have never ended one before. I really don't know what to do so any advice is much appreciated.
TL;DR: | I have just moved in with long-term gf who is still in love with me but I want to end our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The best friend [21/M] of the girl [20/F] I'm [21/M] dating is still in love with her
POST: I met Anna in high school when we were around 12 years old. We then had a relationship which lasted around 2 months, she broke up, but always stayed in contact.
In these years we both always dated other people, but we were still texting on a non-romantic level occasionally. Now, 8 years later, we met each other in a bar. She told me she just broke up with her ex, he cheated, and we immediately hit off. She missed her ride and slept at my place.
Now we're dating for 2 months and are at the point that it's almost 'official'. Things are going really really well.
The problem is that one of her best friends, Matt, is in love with her. Anna was in a bad place around a year ago and he was really supportive during this time: visiting her in the middle of the night, calling with her in the middle of the night et cetera. He's always been in love with her, she knows that. She always tells him that she does not like him in a romantic way, just as friends. Which has never been a problem.
Now she broke up with her ex and almost immediately started dating me, which maybe is not that smart, but it is how it is. He called her last night and said how he was shocked to see how serious me and Anna were. That he expected that I was just something for a few weeks, and after that she would date him (Matt). Anna told him that she was in love with me and would never date him, because she just isn't in love with him. He told her that he knows she will fall in love with him some time.
She does not know what to do, because she thought he was almost over her. She doesn't want to break their friendship because he did so much for him, but secretly knows that this doesn't work.
I don't mind them being friends because I know her intentions, but I don't think this works between them. He can't be just watch us being jealous.
So Reddit, what do you recommend that we do?
TL;DR: | Best friend of girl I'm dating is still in love with her and still has hope that they will date eachother some time. She doesn't want their friendship gone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Help with a cat pooping just outside the litter box.
POST: Hello,
We have a 13 year old male cat that has spent most of his life outside and is now pooping outside the litter box. The first 3 years of his life, he was an indoor cat until he began marking things. We believe the trigger was my dad, because we found out later he had a habit of throwing things at the cats when they annoyed him, and Tyson (the cat in question) only marked things that my dad regularly used (favorite chair, work bench, old muscle car in the garage, stuff like that). Other than that he had no problems using the litter box.
Fast forward the last few months, my parents had split up over a year ago and dad moved out(I only feel that this is relevant because he hasn't marked anything). I moved back in with my mom after graduating college. Tyson was still outside, I guess out of habit, but he was getting dangerously skinny and his long fur was horribly matted. I started slowly grooming him and nursing him back to a healthy weight. This also included bringing him inside. There are 2 other cats but they have always gotten along great (they are allowed to go in and out). Tyson has his own litter box while the other two share one (we didn't intend for it to go that way but for some reason he's the only one that uses the second).
At first Tyson just wouldn't use either and pee on anything soft or in a pile and he would poop in the middle of the garage. I started cleaning out his litter box on a daily basis and he now pees in there but still poops right outside of it. Before we were sure it was him I set up a time laps on my camera with both boxes in view. He pees in the box, steps out and poops right next to it.
TL;DR: | A 13 year old male cat pees in the litter box but poops right outside even though I clean it daily. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [26 M] and suddenly getting more emotional, and immature
POST: I've always been really responsible, and careful about not doing anything wrong. I was homeschooled, and jumped into really brainy stuff in college and (with the help of some serious athletic injuries) took a long time, and could just barely get through it.
Never had a girlfriend, 50% of my time around girls has been with a friend I met recently, and I have lots of social anxiety. I'm not looking for a gf now, as I'm too immature, but I figured it was important to point out because it does stress me out.
Recently, I've just been more emotional about everything, and I'm always trying to act cool. I create stupid drama to get attention and seem "edgy", even though my definition of "edgy" is pretty tame.
I blow people off if they want to do boring stuff (some of this is just different interests - I'm quiet, but I have enough boring stuff in my career, and just want to do something exciting! I've always been kinda an adrenalin-addict.), and my career motivation is not so great.
What should I do? I feel like I need to take emergency measures in my social life, right as I start my career. :\ Is this a quarter-life crisis?
TL;DR: | I feel like I'm craving the "college experience" during a time when I should be more mature and grown up. Not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's the worst you've ever felt about something you've done?
POST: Pokemon cards were huge when I was a young lad. I loved to collect them, as well (didn't know how to play the actual game, but who cares; SHINY CARDS!). My mother knew I liked them and decided to stuff my Christmas stocking with a few packs. Being the dumbshit child that I was, I saw that the outer wrapper of the set was the same as the one I had gotten a few weeks prior and thus assumed that the cards contained within were the same. I went on to proclaim that "I already had this set" and complained like it was my job.
My mother broke down in tears. She was crushed to learn that I hated my present. My [father wasn't too happy, either] I realized after all of my complaining that every set of cards was different and I had, in fact, gotten a unique set in my stocking. Needless to say, I felt absolutely terrible after this event.
TL;DR: | I made my mother cry because I was an unappreciative kid that presumed much too often. I felt terrible afterwards. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27M] am happily married to my wife [25F], but feeling more and more like I need something different.
POST: Hi all,
I am sure this is a question already answered, but I have seen some very good responses to other questions, so I thought I would give my problem a try.
As I said in my title, I am 27 and she is 25. We have been married for 5 years, and recently had a baby. I love my wife with all my heart and there is no question of that. We usually have a pretty good sex life when it comes to frequency (2 times a week or so). As for variety, it is pretty plain. Almost always at night and in bed. When it comes to spicing things up, she is against different locations. I have tried to spice things up and be romantic or try new things, but it is all the same. Now for the kicker, she will go through phases where she wants to be dominated for 2 months or so, then it will fall to the wayside. Then, when she wants it again, she will wonder why I am not completely in to it. When she reads, which is usually all the time, she is reading romance novels, which I secretly am really against (but that is another story). For the final bit of my back story, I have never really had that fun time in my life. I didn't go to college, and never really had the opportunity to go and have the promiscuous fun that a lot of other people have had.
Now for my problem. I can't seem to shake the feeling that I need to go have sex with some random person to get it out of my system. It wouldn't happen more than once. I know that I love my wife. I know that if I did that and she found out, it would ruin things, and I would be a fucking idiot to give up the wonderful relationship that we have. Any advice on how to overcome these feelings would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I love my wife and would be an idiot to mess up our relationship, but I can't help the feeling that I have to sleep with someone else to get it out of my system. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What's the "right" way for me ([23M]) to tell a girl ([24F]) that I'm not interested in taking things further after a first date?
POST: I recently went on a date with a girl I had met through OKCupid, and while it wasn't necessarily a *bad* date, as we had enough in common to talk about for a fairly long time, I don't think our personalities meshed very well. She seems interested in going on more dates, but I'm fairly certain that I'm not interested in taking things further. What's the best method for me to tell her this? What should or shouldn't I say? It's been 3 days since our date, and she just texted me today asking how I'm doing. I have not contacted her since our date.
TL;DR: | Girl seems interested in me after a first date, but I don't feel the same, and I'm not sure how to tell her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Group vs self-guided travel for disagreeing couple
POST: My wife and I are Americans who like to travel internationally, but disagree on how. I like to deep dive on travel sites and cobble together an independent experience. My wife has been advocating for group travel.
Before we met, my wife did study abroad in Europe and has the stories to prove it - going to Oktoberfest, wandering around Spain for a month, dodging scam artists in Tangier - while I have traveled little outside the U.S.
My experiences with group travel are limited to high school trips within the U.S. that were dawn-to-dusk on packed coach buses, and I felt stymied by how our time was allocated. As an adult, I don't want to be told when and where to be every day on my precious time away from work.
Recently we did an independent trip to Jamaica, and I think my wife came away scared of the experience, like knowing which drivers and people to trust and occasionally finding ourselves in dodgy areas.
There were occasional hiccups but I felt richer from the experience - of course I would feel differently if we had been hurt or robbed for example. That said, most of the questionable experiences came when I ignored the advice I'd found online, and the travel agent we used to book the hotel found the same places and prices we did.
We are interested in similar destinations like Europe and South America, earn a middle-to-upper-middle class income and are not into "roughing it" - for example, no AC at night in a hot climate is a dealbreaker for me.
TL;DR: | How can we marry the independence of self-guided travel vs the ease of group travel to find an experience that works for both of us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my ex [23 M] harassing me...
POST: my ex has been harassing me for over a month now. i've blocked him on all media except facebook, because we are in the same group project (for the whole year) and apparently he can't see shit on the group's page or messages otherwise.
at first, we were on good terms and everything was fine, but then he started begging for me back. things got worse when he realized i would never go back to him. he started saying personal shit to hurt me (this was where i learned to block him on my phone), and now he's calling me a whore and stuff because i started to see someone new.
if this was just any ol' butthurt joe, i would just laugh it off. but he's done things in the past that questions my safety. last year when i tried to break up with him again, he's visited my house in the middle of the night, just to beg for me back. he's done it three more times after until i caved.
so far he hasn't done this, but now that he's angry, i'm afraid he might do something worse or even start harassing the current guy i'm seeing. i think he's already spreading personal information about me. i want to report him to the school faculty before anything worse happens, but i'm not sure if this is considered serious enough to bring it up with them?
TL;DR: | ex keeps harassing me. he's mad now that i'm with someone else, i'm scared he might do something worse, and even threaten my current relationship... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend is a Negative Ned.
POST: My boyfriend (27) and I (24) have been together for about six months. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, but nothing critical. My main complaint is that he is extremely negative and critical about things. Everything from, "God, that girl is ugly," to, "Your favorite basketball team sucks." I brought it up once and he said he's just hard on everyone, including himself. I told him I must assume if he talks crap about EVERYONE and everything behind their backs, I can only conclude he does it about me too. He denied it, and he's not overly rude to me, but his negativity makes me very insecure. What's he saying when I'm not around?
I'm all for speaking your mind when you have an opinion or thought, but I think it's important to be tactful about things. He's brash and abrasive.
I'm reaching my breaking point with it. He's totally bringing me down, and his criticism makes communication hard - I'm too afraid to talk about things for fear of being judged/criticized.
I think he's insecure - when we first started dating, he was constantly asking me for approval about his appearance, his clothing, his behavior. I'm assuming he puts others down to make himself feel better.
I want to attempt to talk about this one last time, just to say I've done everything I can to salvage the relationship. I'm not the best communicator, so to be fair I'm not sure I properly discussed it with him last time. Are there talking points I can bring up that you think would get the point across? Or is this a lost cause?
TL;DR: | BF is really negative and critical about other people and situations. I'm getting tired of it. Can this get better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26M] with my friend [25 F] flirts with me, yet her actions prove otherwise.
POST: I have a friend I used to date last year. With school and work it kinda died down, but we kept in contact a few times a week. Recently she has contacted me at least once a day for the past week. I kind of thought well, hey I still like her, maybe she still likes me. The thing is, I cannot get her to actually hang out. She'll text/call me but doesnt take any initiative to want to do anything.
They say actions speak louder than words, and I agree. When we first started dating, she would ask me what I was doing and would want to join me in whatever I was doing. I do not get anything like that now. She does send me flirty texts though. I almost feel as though she is just using me because she might not have anything better to do/ someone to talk to. It's almost as though I am her backup and she wants to keep me in her pocket.
TL;DR: | Girl says flirty messages, acts like she would be interested in hanging out, but when the chance comes up to, I either dont hear from her or she "responds" late. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [m/16] am still in love with my ex [f/16] but she has another boyfriend [m/19]
POST: We broke up a couple months ago. I would've posted earlier, but I didn't know about this sub.
Anyway, I still have very strong feelings for my ex girlfriend, she was the first girl I genuinely loved. Her parents made us break up because they didn't trust us together anymore. The night we broke up she kept assuring me that we'd get back together, that she still loved me, etc. I was stupid enough to believe her.
After a couple weeks I noticed that we wouldn't really talk as much add we used too. Then after about 3 weeks I caught word that she was dating someone else. I tried to ask her but got no reply. It turns out that she started dating a guy that she was friends with while me and her were dating. This guy is 3 years older than us. He is a creep. He goes for younger girls because he can't get any other girl his age because they all know how much of a creep he is. I don't know what to do. They've been dating now for about a month and a half. He even went off to college and she stayed with him.
Me and my ex were friends before we dated, and now she still wants me to be her friend. I can't be friends with her anymore, it's turned into way more than that. I still love her, she's all I think about. I don't know if I should just move on or just wait and hope they break up. I'm depressed without her. I want her back, but it seems as though she has made up her mind.
Sorry for the vent, but I could really use some advice
TL;DR: | I still love my ex but she has moved on but still wants to be friends but I don't. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (25F) with my bf (28M) of 8 months, paranoid I'll cheat because of how well I played my part in a murder mystery party. Really.
POST: Throw away since he reddits and knows my main.
He's the rub- I attended a murder mystery party this past weekend with my boyfriend. It was all his friends and I hadn't met any of them before. I'm a pretty introverted person so the whole acting thing coupled with being in a room full of people I don't know really freaked me out.
Our characters were a couple who absolutely adored each other but my character was getting some action on the side.Note-only me and my side pieces (I had two!) knew this. Obviously there's stuff about our characters we're not supposed to tell anyone until it naturally comes up during the party. After a few drinks and mingling the murder mystery part began. It was actually tons of fun and I had a blast but I noticed about half-way through when my affairs had been revealed my bf was getting rather surly.
Anyways we head home and he's obviously not in a good mood. I kinda poke and prod until it comes out that he thought I did TOO well concealing my characters indiscretions. I had been too easy to slip into the role of an adulterer and after watching me mingle with his friends was now unsure I wouldn't cheat on him. Not only that but he was certain that if I DID cheat on him he would never find out because of how well I kept my characters secrets.
So my mind is a little blown. I explained to him that it was a character I played and it was all just fun and games, I would never cheat on him ever. I love him! But I can tell he's still all weird. He's been short talking to me and not as affectionate. It makes no sense to me. How am I supposed to handle this?
Some additional info-our relationship has been all sunshine and roses until this past weekend. We never fight, he's never gotten weird about my male friends, he treats me like a Queen. I'm his first "real" gf if that matters.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend was TOO convinced with my acting and now thinks I could not only cheat but successfully hide it from him. How am I supposed to handle this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My relationship with girl [F/18] got better after I told her that I [18/M] liked her
POST: So, when I was 17 I met this girl, and we've been spending a lot of time together, especially recently. It was always kind of awkward with us, but we got used to one another and we talk every day on Facebook and see each other for a few hours every week at uni or when she go get coffee or whatever. I told her I was interested in her, she said she doesn't see me that way (which I kinda expected), but after that our relationship is almost better. We talk even more often, I see her more frequently, and we're happier around one another. What do you think has happened here? I'm hardly complaining: she's kind of fantastic to be around; it's more just me wondering why it got better after I said I liked her and not worse. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Relationship gets better with girl after I express my unrequited ~~love~~ desire to go out on a date. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Got drunk, blacked out, and kissed a friend's love interest, but I don't remember anything. What should I do?
POST: Let me start off by saying a somewhat close friend of mine, S, is in love with a guy named Joe. They were on and off, hook up, fwb, everything since high school. They are not together but she swears they will end up together when the time is right.
For my 23rd birthday, a few of my friends and I went out clubbing and ran into Joe and his friends. We had already drank a lot and I blacked out not long after noticing he was all over me, even though I would try to get away from him and told him that nothing could ever happen between us because of S. The next thing I know, I wake up in my girl friend's bed without any recollection of the rest of the night. Apparently I threw up at the bar and had to be carried out, not my best moment..
But while I was blacked out, someone told me, Joe and I kissed and a closer friend to S told her (and IDK what other things she told her which could be twisted from her perspective). She hasn't confronted me but talks to our mutual friends behind my back about the situation and how betrayed she feels and that she can't believe I could have done that to her. Friends have asked her why she hasn't talked to me about it and she says that there's no point since I will use the "I was drunk" excuse anyways. Yet I really have no recollection of anything that night.
TL;DR: | Kissed a friend's love (?) while I was blacked out drunk and now she's talking about me to our friends behind my back. What should I do? I really don't remember anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Forgetting People are Assholes
POST: Hey guys, long time lurker first time poster. As per the usual, this did not happen today, it happened Friday.
I had taken the day off as I was about to go on my first real long distance ride on my motorcycle. I was traveling from my home in Dayton Ohio to a friend in NC. I had stopped off at a gas station during the trip to get gas, stretch and take care of business. After getting gas, I grabbed my bag, my phone and my helmet and went inside the gas station. After I was in the bathroom, I remember I had forgotten my Sigelei 150w vape was sitting on top of the pump. I thought nothing of it really, just had left it for a minute or two but when I came out it was gone. I looked everywhere for it, checked inside to see if anyone turned it in nothing. So I broke my streak of not smoking cigarettes by buying a pack. Put me in a foul mood for the rest of the trip and just got home and had to dish out money to buy a new one.
Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | Had to go pee, thought I grabbed all my stuff, someone stole my expensive vape, made me lose even more faith in society, paid for new vape. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my sister [14 F] I don't like her friends.
POST: So basically my sister is 14 and she's been best friends with these two girls her same age. The two girls come from a different family environment to put it kindly, their brother uses drugs and started drinking at a young age, and I'm not sure they get much support from home.
A few weeks ago, we learned that my sister and those two girls weren't friends after a large argument. A few days after the initial argument, we learned that the two girls also started smoking and started experimenting with drugs. After a few weeks of arguing, one of the girls leaked an explicit photo on Twitter and I believe this is the reason my sister went back to them, for moral support.
Now, I don't like my sister's friends. They're going down a slippery slope, and they actively pressure my sister to act and react in certain ways. My sister, while she was arguing with those two girls was nice, and helpful around the house. With those girls, she's the complete opposite; horribly rude and acts like a "thug".
My parents are also fed up with her relationships. We're considering moving to a different city because of it and I'm 100% alright with that. I just want to know what you guys though about this and how we can fix it? I'm looking into after school activies to occpy her time.
TL;DR: | My sister is super nice when she's not with her two friends. When she's with them, she's an ass. I'm not sure what we can do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I, [16/m] deal with unwarranted anger towards an ex [16/f]
POST: There is a really long story behind what happened between me and my ex. We dated for a very short time, broke up, and just became friends. While we were friends, she, and our mutual friends, said some pretty nasty things behind my back and started a witch hunt against me just because my ex all of a sudden decided that she didn't want to be my friend anymore.
So, naturally, I left that group of friends to rid myself of the emotional burden. After I left, my ex got a new boyfriend. This disturbed me a little bit, but I mostly got over it and I never engaged in any petty rumor spreading or anything, the stuff that they did to me. Although I still have some good friends in that group, I had to completely cut myself off, because I am a kind of emotionally volatile person.
The reason I am posting today is to ask how I can just not give a fuck about her anymore. Today, I noticed that she had unfollowed/blocked/unfriended me on all forms of social media. This might not seem like a big deal, and it definitely isn't, but it made me so angry. I don't know why. I was so angry that I'm glad I didn't see her because I probably would have punched her in the face. Now, I feel very sad and alone.
I realize that these feelings are very unhealthy, and I feel like I should reach out and ask for advice on how to deal with this.
Any and all contributions are welcome, thank you all very much for reading this.
TL;DR: | I feel very emotionally volatile regarding anything involving my ex. There is no reason for me to be angry or sad or anything, which just makes me more frustrated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29F] husband [41M] mixed up my birth date with his ex's [41F]
POST: My husband and I have been together for 7 years and married for a year and a half.
I had health insurance on my own but due to the marriage we decided to consolidate into one plan. He added me to his health insurance plan through his employer, effective January 1st, 2015. After having several complicated issues with my doctor's office, they told me that the birth date listed on my insurance is different than my actual birth date. He apparently listed the wrong date, but got the year correct. My doctor's office told me that I need to contact my health insurance to correct this.
I asked my husband about the incorrect date and he said that his fingers simply hit the wrong key and apologized. However, the date was nagging at me, so I did some research and it is his ex's birth date. They were only together for two years, whereas we have been together for 7. They had a rocky relationship, and it did not end amicably. He does not have any feelings for her whatsoever.
However, the mix up still annoys me. Should I say anything to him, or just accept that it was an honest mistake and let it go?
TL;DR: | My husband can't remember my birth date but can remember his ex wife's. I know he meant nothing by it, but I am still annoyed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17M] parents [53M and 52F] are close to divorce, I don't know what to do when they fight.
POST: This obviously happens a lot, since a lot of marriages end in divorce, but this is new for me so I need help.
I have two brothers [21M] Rick and [23M] John, John doesn't live at home and Rick is often not around when they fight. John is the brother I rely on the most and is my escape for a lot of problems.
My parents were happily married for 25 years up untill five months ago. My mother got involved with a refugee (non-romantic it seemed) inside her church. Eventually she did a big project and included refugee's in it, therefore she kept some friends. I'll call the refugee/friend Mikel [35-ish M]. He is not single or anything and is expecting his family to arrive from Syria within 2 years. My mother has been aiding Mikel in trying to find a place and with the language to get settled.
My father has been suspicious ever since the project ended. He is not very good at feelings vocally btw. At first he was just not so comfortable with the telephone conversations happening between Mikel and my mom, but eventually he kept looking into her conversations on FB or text for "evidence". Just 15 minutes ago he claimed to have seen something concrete on the matter going absolutely crazy.
Now, whenever my father breaks out a fight I am the only one around (out of my brothers), which sucks. I have already taken the position of neutral and tell both of them to piss off whenever they try to tell "what my dad/mom does". I keep urging John to get into serious conversation with both of them since he is the adult, however whenever he takes initiative my parents act as if they have worked it out! Which has proved to not have happened in any shape or form.
This time I tried to tell them they needed counseling but they don't really listen and most of all it shouldn't be my place to tell them that.
I am a bit at a loss right now, I know I can't prevent a possible divorce but I don't know what I can do when they fight.
TL;DR: | My father is blaming my mother for being involved with another man, they seem to be close to divorce. When they fight I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] has a problem with small talk, but I am trying to get a sorority girl interested in me.
POST: I have had several classes with this girl at college. We have never sat near eachother, but we have worked in groups. I never said anything except for questions about the classes that we had together. I don't want it to be like I am talking to her because we have the same major.
Other than class or college related stuff, I have no idea who she is. I have asked some of her sisters about her and they say she is awkward. I sent her an email after letting her know that I knew her name in person. I asked her about going to a movie that was playing on campus. I am off campus, but I wanted to go. She kindly wrote back that she was back home.
I saw her in class, and went back to where she was to explain myself from the weekend. It was an awkward conversation because she snapped a picture right before I sat down. I didn't even ask to sit there, I just had my mond on the weekend. I could not tell if the conversation was awkward because of her or me.
I then wrote her on email after talking with a friend from class who suggested it. This time I explained why I wanted to know who she was and how we have had a few classes together, and I have no idea who she is even at the end of the semester. It bothers me.
How do I move forward before the end of the semester(which is probably adding to the pressure)?
TL;DR: | Needing advice on a girl who mostly talks just to her sorority sisters, they all sit together. Outside of class she is still in a group. I have made a few steps, how do I move forward? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by using a new type of shaving cream.
POST: I was about to hop in the shower when I looked down and thought, "Dang." There was some serious manscaping that needed to be done. I walked to the sink, and to my demise, I was out of shaving cream. "No big deal," I thought to myself, "There's more in the closet in the hall." I walked to that closet and I grabbed that first can of shaving cream that I saw.
"For Sensitive Skin," it said.
"Cool," I thought, "I've always had pretty sensitive skin." By now my shower had heated up and was at the perfect temperature, and I was ready. With razor in hand I lather on a glob of shaving cream and begin to shave. All was going perfectly until I finished shaving and started to shampoo my hair. Something felt tingly and cold, almost like icy-hot. It was subtle at first, but then got stronger and stronger. My balls were blazing-cold as if it were a flammable ice cube. "WHAT IS GOING ON?!?" I agonizingly yelled inside my head. "This shit **HURTS**." I tried scrubbing off my nuts with some soap, but to no avail. Hot water didn't help, either. I was devoid of mercy. Helpless. *Vulnerable.*
I toweled myself off and climbed out of the shower, frantically thinking of what I could to to end what felt like Queen Elsa and Satan taking refuge inside my testicles. I tried not to think about it instead, threw on some pants, and walked downstairs. I saw my mom and hesitantly said, "Hey, mom.. I used some of that sensitive shaving cream on my..face... and, uh, it kinda feels like icy hot..What's going on??"
"Oh," she said, "That stuff has menthol in it; your father bought it and I have no clue why. It should feel normal in a few minutes."
I receded back to my room and after about 10 minutes the feeling started to reside.
And all was well.
TL;DR: | I used some new shaving cream on my nuts that felt like Snow Miser and Heat Miser duking it out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by ruining a freshman's year
POST: This TIFU actually happened in the third week of the semester, just when the new freshies are getting situated into their friend groups and developing trust.
There was a girl on my team (I'm on an XC team) who I began messing with on Monday by saying things like "I know what you did this weekend... sicko," "Hey, Eddie and I heard about Friday," and "Can't believe you did that." So I did this the whole week, totally innocuous. I then left Thursday to visit my girlfriend.
I come back Sunday and see her walking with a group of new friends (15+ girls) through the school and think "Perfect scenario to mess with her." I yell her name across the parking lot and say "THE WHOLE SCHOOL KNOWS. EVERYBODY KNOWS." She acts a bit taken aback and all I'm thinking is "God damn, I fucking nailed that one."
The evening my apartment goes to Moes and I tell them about my totally killer move. They lose it. Chaos erupts in the Moes, our Burrito barista can't hear if we want guac, and the manager runs from the back to see what happened.
They inform me that she got super drunk (20+ shots), got kicked out a frat, got lost in parking lot, police picked her up and drove her to the hospital, stomach got pumped, and then she drunkenly snuck out of the hospital so she could get back to campus, called a cab, passed out face down in her hospital gown outside her dorm room, ass out.
TL;DR: | I accidentally yelled at a freshman girl and her friends that the whole schools about her being the drunkest girl in the state. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] met this awesome girl [18 F] a few days ago, we got fairly touchy-feely at a party, she started to ingnore me, and I'm not sure if I should ask her out.
POST: Hey Reddit,
A good friend of mine from high school hosted a party last Friday night, and brought along a bunch of friends from his University that I hadn't met before. One of his friends took an interest in me, and we started talking to each other. As the night went on, both of us got a bit tipsy (5 drinks max), and started getting fairly touchy-feely with each other.
(I should, at this point, probably mention that one of my friends who doesn't drink, and would never lie to me, saw this girl tell a friend that she was interested in me.)
We were basically sitting down, cuddling with each other and holding hands saying stuff like "you're cute, you're beautiful, etc." with each other for a few hours. It was quite intimate. However, after a while, we drifted apart and began to socialise with others, and she started to ignore me.
Before we got to sleep, I asked her what all the behaviour earlier in the night was for, and she responded "Well, we were drunk." We didn't talk that much the next morning.
I'm wondering if asking her out for coffee would be a good idea. Part of me thinks its a bad idea and I should just let this go.
TL;DR: | Met a girl at a party. We got fairly touchy-feely with each other, but I think she lost interest. Should I let this one go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Starting to wall-up. Would kinda like to stop.
POST: 23M here dating 22F for about 7 months. Everything has been awesome so far. She's fantastic and makes me incredibly happy. But lately, I've noticed myself putting up my armor a little more. Not sure if it's partially due to anxiety issues or not, I guess I'm just starting to realize that the feelings I have for her are putting me in a pretty vulnerable spot, and I'm not really sure if those feelings are reciprocated. That's not to say that people's feelings need to be perfectly in sync in relationships, but it's causing me to feel like I need to withhold or turn down some of my affection. I hate doing this, it makes me feel like I'm watering things down, but I can't seem to help it.
Have you been in a position like this with your SO? If so, what did you do to work through it for yourself?
TL;DR: | Starting to subconsciously put my armor up for fear of getting hurt. Acting like a child. Help me cut that shit out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, have you witnessed any poetic justice or, have you been there to watch karma come around to bite someone?
POST: I recently took a trip to visit my girlfriend(not rubbing it in, just giving a little back story). The drive is 400 miles, give or take. I spent 200 of those miles on the same, one lane, desert road. I've been pulled over on this stretch of road before, so I know police are always on the prowl. Because of this, I never speed on that road(anymore). I have had a red suburban riding my tail for about 30 miles now. He refuses to pass me even though he has had many chances. Apparently, he isn't content with the pace I have set of only 1-2 miles over the speed limit. (the speed limit was 70 and I was going 71-72. So, it's not like I was going 60 or 65 in a 70) I really don't want this guy riding my bumper for the next 170 miles. I'm already perturbed at him after only 30. So, I pull off the road to force this person around me. I mumble to myself about this annoyance as he speeds off. I pull back onto the road and continue on my merry way, abiding the speed laws. He is soon off in the distance, too far ahead of me to see. About 100 miles or so down the road, I see flashing lights. As i approach, I notice a police officer who has pulled someone over. What's this I see? THE SAME RED SUBURBAN!! All is well now as I chuckle, and pat myself on the back for resisting the urge to haul ass down this 200 mile stretch of desert road. The red suburban, on the other hand, will now arrive at his destination later than anticipated and with a ticket.
Believe it or not, this actually happened twice on this trip. Two different vehicles though.
TL;DR: | Guy rides my bumper because I'm not speeding. This annoys me. I pull over to let him pass. I laugh as he gets pulled over later down the road for speeding. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by lying to a heartbroken, scared mother for no reason
POST: This fuck up was approximately two weeks ago. I was in Philadelphia visiting colleges with, my mom and my sister, as I was a high school senior. After the long winded presentation/tour at Drexel and Temple really made me and my family hungry. We went to eat.
Finally, we decided that it is time to head back to the big train station in Philly and board a train back home. My bladder, however, was about to explode. I excuse myself to go use the bathroom. I ask an employee where the nearest restroom is and he directs me to it. On my approach, I see a kid, around 9 or 10, with a Phillies hat run past me with a panicked look on his face. I think practically nothing of it and go to use the bathroom. My urination went normally but as I walk out, I see a lady run toward me. She asks in a hurried breath if I had seen her son. She goes on to describe him to be exactly the kid I had seen. For no reason whatsoever I said calmly "no" and treated her like she was bothering me. Right after as she thanked me and sprinted away, I knew I fucked up. I tried to run after her but I had lost her in the crowded train station. I returned to my mom and sister and was empty for the rest of the day.
In hindsight, I don't think me mentioning that I had seen the kid a couple of minutes before would have practically helped the mother find him, but I still can't stand that I said no. I can only hope that they found each other but I have no way of checking. My answer haunts me to this day and sometimes I cannot get it out of my head.
TL;DR: | In Philly train station and see a kid looking lost. Mother comes up to me later and asks if I had seen him. Lie for no reason. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22f) am trying to finish school and feel so worn out that I don't want to hang out or be friends with anybody. Is this bad?
POST: I'll try to keep this short. I've never been a social butterfly but I've always had a handful of friends that I'd hang out with a few times a week. However I'm trying my hardest to complete a full time apprenticeship that I find physically and emotionally exhausting, and I only really make enough money there to cover groceries and some beer and junk food to treat myself at the end of the week. I've just realized I've done something social maybe once a month this whole year.
I've been asked a few times to go out to bars and stuff with some old friends but I've declined so many times that I think people have just stopped asking me. Part of it may be social anxiety but right now id really just prefer to stay home with my boyfriend at the end of the day and watch movies or go for walks. We live together and he is so sweet and low key and doesn't suck my psychic energy like most other people do. I'm social and close all day with the other girls at my school but I've noticed myself deliberately keeping myself slightly distant from them so I don't get too close.
My job requires me to be super nice and bubbly all day to a fault, the faculty at my school are super demanding and I find it so draining to play that role all day and then go out and have to be super engaging and energetic with even more people. Fuck, I've rarely been able to stay up past 10 pm for the past three months. I'm so tired all the time.
I don't know if this is normal but the only relationship I feel I have the mental fortitude left to put effort into anymore is my romantic one, which is very supportive and strong. I have a feeling that once school is over and I start making money I'll feel better but until then I feel like a loser shut-in. Has anybody else ever felt this way?
TL;DR: | I'm awake at 4 am and contemplating my life. Does anybody else completely withdraw socially when life gets hard and demanding? Am I going to be a friendless dork forever? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] need advice.
POST: Hey guys, so about a week ago, I [posted] about a relationship I have with this one girl [20F]. We are FWB. I really like her and I want to make her my girlfriend, but I am skeptical if she feels the same way. A bunch of people told me it is close to impossible to start dating a fuck buddy and it is going to only end in heartbreak. They say I am expecting too much from her, which I agree with.
Since we've started hanging out, I've definitely developed oneitis. All I can do is think about her. It's gotten to the point where I cannot focus on anything or anyone but her. I am depressed when we are not talking. We talk maybe once a day (if that) and we hangout about 1-2 times a week. Each time we hangout, we have sex and she usually spends the night. I want more in our relationship than just meaningless sex. I want someone to actually care about me and not just physically and emotionally fuck me. Don't get me wrong, I love the sex, but it really takes a tole on me knowing that she doesn't want anything more. It's mentally fucking me up, and I know it is not healthy to feel this way. I've started seeing a therapist. I know I should end it, but I really do not want to. Like it physically makes me sick thinking about never seeing her again. When I am with her, I all of my problems fly right out the door. But when I drop her off at home the next day, they come rushing back even worse than before. I cry a lot when I am alone. I'm obsessively checking my phone to see if she texted me. It usually ends in me just feeling even worse about myself and going to bed early without accomplishing anything. Please help...
TL;DR: | I really have fallen for my fuck buddy, but I don't think she wants anything more than sex. I want to end our relationship, but the thought of not being with her ever again makes me crazy depressed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a [20F] who has recently started seeing a [36M]. First time seeing a much older man.
POST: So, as I mentioned in the title, I've recently begin seeing a man almost twice my age. I met him online and we met up for the first time last night. We hit it off amazingly. I somewhat have to remind myself he's so much older than me, because he looks and acts much closer to how I look and act. Anyways, I guess I'm looking for some advice on what to expect, personal experience, whatnot. In no way do I feel like I'm being used or satisfying some sort of early midlife crisis, and I really like this guy. It might be worth noting that we are both heavily into BDSM, of that makes a difference. I'm seeing him again Monday.
TL;DR: | recently began seeing a considerably older man that I met online. The chemistry is perfect, but would like some outside opinions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Hey guys, first time in a relationship, been going for 8 months, now "passion gone" Help please!!!
POST: Hey folks,
This is my first time being in a relationship, we have been going at it for about 7 months now, I'm 20 and she is 19 (girl). We are both together at college now She and I are pretty dang serious and love each other. However, we have run into a problem as of late. She no longer gets turned on by me (or at all) and says that although she still loves me and being with me, the passion is mostly gone.
This issue has been brewing for a little. It has been about a month since we had sex and slowed down a lot about 3 months ago.
We do spend a ton of time together as we are both here over the summer and work in the same lab. Maybe less time together? And she does say I give her too much attention, which is probably true. Otherwise im at a loss here :( We want to work through this, so any advice would be great.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 7 months says passion gone but still loves me, we spend a lot o time together. How get passion back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my boyfriend [26 M] 4 months, discovered he has tinder...
POST: I met this guy off tinder, we went on a few dates and become official over 4 months ago. We both deleted tinder in front of each other and that was that. Things have been great so far however we were eating breakfast together this morning and his phone got a tinder notification on it. (its an iphone so it came up on the screen) We both saw it so I asked "I'm just curious as to why you're getting tinder notifications on your phone we both deleted it after we become bf/gf? Whats up?" He just said that he wasn't hooking up with anyone or searching for anyone he just liked "creeping" and seeing who is out there. He said that he did talk to some girls but it was all G rated. He showed me the conversations and they were tame. However I'm on the verge of dumping him because he KNOWS that I am 100% uncomfortable with having a partner on tinder or any other dating/hook up app/site even if your just "creeping."
I was cheated on in my last 2 year relationship and walked away asap. I have no time for this BS. When I am in a relationship I am committed and loyal and expect my partner to be the same. If not well than we are meant to be. However some of my friends think I am over reacting, telling me that since he showed me and was honest about it I should let it go...Well he was honest about it AFTER I saw the messages....
Anyways Im looking for what you would do in this situation or any advice. Im pretty set on dumping him. I don't have time for this. I would rate the relationship a B+ most of the time but this has shattered most of my faith in him. sigh...
TL;DR: | BF on tinder, says he is just "creeping" and just talking Showed me conversations and they are pretty tame...g rated however I don't think I can continue this... |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 22(M) How can I start talking to this girl via Facebook?
POST: So I met this girl a few semesters ago at my University and being the idiot I am I didn't try talking to her then. I am hardly on campus and dont have her phone number so the FB would have to be the primary communication method. How should I go about talking to her on FB? I never see her online but sometimes she pops up in my news feed. What would be the best way to start talking to her without coming off as a creep? also what should I talk about? I really wanna try to date this girl so all advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | I wanna talk to this girl via fb, I never see her online what would be the best way to break the ice and what should I talk to her about? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me [27M] seeing a girl [27F] for about a month, she reconnected with an ex now what can I do to get her back?
POST: Context: Girl I met earlier in the summer broke it off with an ex before the summer. I met her and we both were really planning to enjoy our summer and just casually see each other, not necessarily seriously date anyone. However, our dates were amazing, great chemistry. As we continued seeing each other over about 3 weeks or so she mentioned about how she talked to her friends / family about me. I also began to develop serious feelings for her as well.
Unfortunately, after a few weeks of seeing each other I had to travel regularly for work (mon - thurs) so we couldn't see each other in person for like a month, but we did text back and forth. Then about 2 weeks ago I texted her if she wanted to grab dinner since I didn't have to travel for work. I was totally caught off guard when she told me in the past 2 weeks or so she reconnected / has been seeing her ex and there are still some feelings there. I appreciated the honestly / understood, but was extremely disappointed. The texts ended with us both saying something along the lines of I think you're a fantastic person and that she needed time to figure out what she really wanted. That being said I'm totally fine giving her space.
I now cannot get her out of my mind because if I didn't have to travel for work I think this would never have happened. This has got to the point that I'm now not sleeping well / have been just really sad over the past week. I really want to contact her and tell her how I really felt for her, but I don't want to come off as desperate or anything like that so I've resisted the urge. For peace of mind I did however draft a note where I describe my feelings for her if / when she ever gives me the chance to see her again. I am planning on sending her a friendly text maybe sometime in mid September to see if she ended up back with her ex or not, because I'd really like to date her.
Does anyone have any advice for this kind of situation?
TL;DR: | seeing a girl for about a month, she reconnects with her ex and says she needs to evaluate what she really wants. What can I do to get her back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Question: In California, is it illegal for an employee to talk to one of the business partners of a company?
POST: I'll try to explain a little, it's awfully convoluted.. I'm working for a start-up in tech, we'll say company B. He took some of the people from his last start-up that tanked, Company A, when he started Company B. Coincidentally while at Company A we worked for another one of his investments(made a website), Company S.
Now last week he finds out that an old employee from the original start-up(Comp A) has been helping his business partner from Company S work on a totally unrelated project. The business partner at company S, this is his dream project, and it's unclear if my boss is even invested in the dream project. The ex-employee did not ask for permission to work with the business partner, my boss likened this to "a guy asking his bro's permission to date his ex". btw the dream project is not competing with the current/last business.
So when asking about this dream project I got screamed at with how terrible this ex-employee was, and how what he was doing was 1) illegal 2) would get him fired at "any business across the country". So, is my boss right or is he full of it, is it illegal for an employee to talk to a business partner without permission? Or is it immoral/bad in any way?
TL;DR: | Can an employee legally talk to a business partner of their current boss, without asking for permission, to work on a project that is unrelated/non-competitive to the business they're employed at? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (26F) boyfriend (26M) likes to be alone too much. Talks to move in with me in the near future but I'm afraid that I will overwhelm him
POST: We have been together for 4 years. We have been through really tough times because of my problems with depression and low selfsteem, but he has been there for me the whole time, we have worked out our communication problems and we are completely happy since then!
I want to live with him, I really do, and I know he wants to, because he told me, but he likes to be alone more than I do. It's not only with me, he is like that with his friends too, so the "problem" is not only with me.
I respect his space, I'm not clingy and whenever he needs his space, I give it to him. I like to be alone too, but I miss him more than he misses me and that sometimes makes me confused and a little bit sad, because even thought that we have been together for so long, I sometimes feel that I love him more than he does (I know this is not true, this comes from my insecurities, but it's inevitable to feel like that sometimes when we are so different in this), because I don't know how we are going to get along when we live together. I'm afraid to overwhelm him fast.
We already talked about this, and he is afraid of the same thing and I don't know what to do, because I feel that this is *his* "problem" and I can't do much more than what I do now (respecting his space, not being clingy, etc).
We can't afford a really big apartment (so any of us can be in like, the other side of the place and *feel* like we are alone in the place), that would be ideal, but it's not possible at the moment; but the apartment that we can afford wont be small either.
TL;DR: | My boyfriends likes to be too much alone, but nevertheless, he want to move in with me. I'm afraid to overwhelm him and ruin the excellent relationship we have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tried helping lost dog when it turned out he was across the street from his actual home. What good deed have you tried to do that didn't turn out as planned?
POST: I was driving with my boyfriend and my dog when I saw another dog on a set of railroad tracks by himself. Pulled over and called to him and he came running to me. There was no one out side and we were there for a while introducing my dog to the stray (making sure he was friendly). A couple of houses down we saw a man outside and asked him if he recognized the dog and he didn't.
Went to the police station and they told us to go to the shelter. An officer drove separately and met us there, then we put him in an outside caged in area. The dog has a rabies vaccination tag and from there they found where the address of the owner was. My boyfriend and I later drove to see where the house was and we were pulled over right by it when we picked up the dog.
Thankfully the owner doesn't know it was us but I feel bad for making him go to the shelter to pick up his dog when he was so close to home. Then again why wasn't he outside watching his dog? From my understanding it can be dangerous to be on railroad tracks...
**bold
TL;DR: | Found dog on railroad tracks and took him to the shelter. Turns out the dogs home was right across the street from where we found him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my ex-gf [29 F] of 2+ years, broke up about two months ago. We live together, and since we've broken up we've had sex way more than when we were together.
POST: When we first started dating we had a really healthy sex life, and things were great. We moved in together after a year because things were going really well, and it made financial sense.
After we moved in things went down hill a bit. I realized I didn't care for her as much as I thought, and after a year I'd come to a point where I didn't like certain things about her.
Finally after more than two years I decided to break it off. We hadn't been having sex because I wasn't interested in being intimate with her, and this had caused even more problems.
Finally we broke up and decided to remain roommates. (We have a three bedroom home) Our lease goes on until March 2015.
About two weeks after we broke up, she came into my room and stripped naked and said "No emotional bs or expectations, just so we can both get off."
No big deal. It was good and we carried on. This went on about once a week for three weeks. Then it turned into a few times a week, up until now where we've done it at least once a day over the last 10 days.
It's better than it ever was, but I still don't desire to be with her. We're using protection and shes on BC. What should I do? We've talked and she said she doesn't want to get back together either.
I'm not actively looking for another partner, and we agreed that if we slept with someone else we'd end this. I don't want to be with her romantically, but I enjoy this arrangement. Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | Broke up from 2 year relationship, having more sex now than the last four months. Don't want to get back together, but am enjoying our current set up. Looking for advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] broke up with my girlfriend [21F] of one year. It was a mistake, and I want her back but don't know how.
POST: I feel like a little kid who can't control his emotions. I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago. It was a wonderful relationship and I was very happy. Now, thinking back, I broke up with her because I was afraid of any longer term commitment and I now can't stop thinking about her. I mean, everything reminds me of her.
I want her back, or at least I think I do. I hadn't realized how much I actually loved her until I didn't have her there by my side.
We haven't talked since we broke up, and she has removed me from all social media. She did not take the break up well. Really not very well...
I will see her again in person in about two weeks and I want to wait to say something to her then, but I'm an absolute emotional wreck right now.
Even if she doesn't take me back I still just want her to know that I made a mistake.
TL;DR: | I think I made a mistake by breaking up with the girl I actually love. I don't know how to control my emotions or how to let her know how I feel. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my ex [23 F] of a year, problems with post break-up boundaries
POST: So I broke up with my gf of a little more than a year, a month or two back. The relationship wasnt working out. She didnt want to, but we decided it was for the best.
We also remained in contact after. We'd speak to each other and still meet. We were intimate a coupla times too, so yeah, while we were officially over, we didnt end things entirely. We also didnt have a discussion on the boundaries we would have after breaking up, because neither of us was interested in dating.
Now, I started hooking up with a friend last week, a friend that I did have feelings for, for a while. I put off telling my ex for later, because it happened very impulsively and also because I knew she'd not appreciate it. She did find out tho and was very upset. She said it felt like I cheated on her and I feel that she's warranted to feel that way.
She says it hurts her that I'm hooking up so soon, but she knows that asking me to stop seeing this friend will only make me feel resentful. So we're stuck coz I dont want to stop meeting with the friend and I dont want to hurt my ex either. Please suggest something
TL;DR: | My gf and I broke up a while ago and now I'm hooking up with someone else. This upsets her and since she still matters to me so I'm looking for some kind of compromise |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (20F) best friend (20F) is going on vacation with my ex and his family.
POST: This is an odd situation and I'm really just posting here to see if this is actually something I should be upset about or if I should just forget about it.
Backstory: In high school my best friend, Sarah, and I dated two other best friends. She met her boyfriend, Keith, through mine, Louis, and we hung out a lot with the four of us. Louis and I had a rough breakup about 8 months ago (he was a part of my life through high school and after) and it also destroyed Sarah and Louis' friendship. Her and Keith are still together though.
Every year Louis' family would go on a trip, and she told me she's thinking about tagging along with Keith this year. I find it strange that she wouldn't tell me before making a decision like this to go on my ex's family vacation with his new girlfriend.
Am I being irrational about this or is this weird? She completely despises my ex and makes a scene whenever she's around him, but now she wants to be with him nonstop for over a week straight? I don't want to make a big deal about it if it's not but I am kind of hurt that she didn't talk to me about it before telling the people involved that she was interested in coming.
TL;DR: | My best friend and I both hate my ex, but she's considering going on vacation with him, his family, his girlfriend, and her boyfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Roommate rabbits problems
POST: Hi all. I(F20) currently own a 2 year old male bunny. I moved in with one of my(M20) bestfriends in May, and he decided to get one as well. I realized when he got it that I would be the one taking most of the responsibilty for it, due to his irresponsible and careless nature. He got a female so it would get along with mine, however it has reached puberty and is actually a male. It does not get along with my rabbit - I am trying to bond them but it is unlikely due to their territorial nature, and his isnt neutered.
Since his rabbit has reached puberty its normally clean litter habits have begun to deteriorate. He began to poop all over his bed. My roommate will not teach the rabbit otherwise and instead wants to get rid of him.
I am absolutely disgusted at his irresponsibilty and feel terrible for this sweet, loving animal - who besides this, is really the nicest cutest rabbit I have ever met. I would love to keep him, but my priorities lie with my first bunny, who is also male and will probably never bond, and I cant afford the neutering to find out if they ever will. He has left the care.of the rabbit pretty well completely up to me, and has shunned him from his room, without food and water. When I try to discuss this with him, his flippancy forces me to retreat to my room in anger. All this rabbit wants is attention and to be loved, and I have school and other responsibilities to deal with, between spending time with mine, and his I have little time to leave the house for other things.
TL;DR: | Im not sure what to do, my bestfriend doesnt want his rabbit anymore and I am feeling frustrated, disgusted and mild hatrid towards him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My SO [27/m] decided to put an ingredient in the dinner even though I [24/f] told him not too and I'm frustrated. Help!
POST: I [24/f] need to vent out because I can't be stressed right now.
I current have pretty bad acid reflux so I can't eat certain foods right now. So I deliberately told him [27/m] if he's making dinner not to put a specific acidic ingredient (one that I don't like anyway) inside the dinner (He can put it on his plate not mine, that's fine) but he went and did it anyway!!!!
I'm so angry right now because that's soo disrespectful and insulting to me but I don't want me to be stressed and angry right now because it hurts me and my acid reflux more.
I decided to skip dinner altogether -- probably best anyway.
What should I do to vent? Am I being completely unreasonable?
TL;DR: | My SO [27/m] decided to put an ingredient in the dinner even though I [24/f] told him not too and I'm frustrated. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23m] have a bully on my course. I complained to the course tutor and he put me on a team with him this semester.
POST: Just a quick back story, Im a masters student in Games Development. This course bases itself and criteria in working with others, making a team and being professional. Anyway my main duties are audio related (Sound Design, Music Composition) And since the start of the Academic year of 2014 I have had real trouble with another person who is also a sound guy.
This guy has non stop slaughtered all of my audio pieces, music and sound effects. He constantly belittles me in front of the team and likes to shoot me down at my skill and profession.
Ive reported this to the Uni and course leader and have done little to fix this. Ive been at this for roughly 5-6 years and have always gone for feedback and criticism from other people. I dont call myself an expert on sound, But I have worked on contract, done competitions and have had great feedback about my sound quality.
However this guy who I hat to admit is really good at his sound likes to show me up, insult my work, harrass my methods and on top of this has sent my stuff to other audio professionals completely trying to drag my name through the dirt and I have done nothing to him as I only met him last year.
I am at the end of my emotional and mental tether with this person and I no shame in calling him a bully. Non of the uni staff try to do anything and know I dont like him. As a result for this semester they have put me on a team with which has being a crippling two weeks and I seriously question whether I want to do this. What do you think I should do?
TL;DR: | I have a bully on my uni course, I reported him to the course leader and as a result he put me on a team with him this semester. What should I do about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] can't convince my GF [26 F] of 5 years to move with me.
POST: We met in university and started living together immediately after graduating. As a household I bring home 80% of the income and she has been working minimum wage the whole time.
Work takes me away from home for months at a time into remote locations. Part of the reason I take these jobs is the overtime and experience, I look at it as a career building opportunity. This has taken its toll on our relationship lately.
The city we live in is her hometown and she has never lived anywhere else. If we move a particular city where I work most of the time already, I would make 30% more a year in my field and she could stand to get a much better job, albeit a government job. She never wants to go, once stating "I don't want to be bored to death in an office job". This annoys me because, at the same time she always complains about her retail work.
I feel like I've lost respect for her lack of career motivations. She spends so much damn time on non-paying art gigs, but at the same time she won't take extra schooling to make herself actually competitive in her desired field (graphic design, her degree is in fine arts but is not directly applicable).
She is essentially a stay home wife, but has zero desire for kids (which I want to have someday). I came from a family where the mother brought home the bacon, so I can't understand her.
Another aspect, a little less grounded, is I am finding her less attractive as time goes on. We can go a month without sex due to excuse A through Z, from both of us. She isn't adventurous in bed, and I'm use to freakier girls, honestly. Sometimes I think that this is resulting from my becoming resentful of her career-wise.
Bit of a tangent there. I always find myself feeling like moving to a new city where she could also contribute to household income would fix things, but I can't seem to convince her of this. Am I scatterbrained or does this make any sense?
TL;DR: | GF of 5 years has been working minimum wage since finishing Uni. I can't convince her to move for better career prospects, losing respect for her over being deadweight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: There are constant fights and drama between my [35 M] fiance [39 F], whom I've been with for seven years, and her kids, and things are only getting worse.
POST: I'm 35 years old, and I've been with my 39 year old fiance for over seven years, while her kids [11 F / 13 M / 18 M] have been living with us for over six years.
In this time, I've been able to develop a good relationship with them, even with their biological father being still in the picture.
However, the relationship between all of them has become more and more strained. My daughter, who is going through her prepubescent years, has been going through her mood swings, which has created increased tension with her brothers. And the eldest is constantly arguing with his mother, to the point where she is now in tears almost every night because of the stuff he says to her.
My fiance has become more and more distant with the family over the years as well. She is home less and, even when she is home, she is either on her phone or the computer, not interacting with the rest of the family. This is in fact the main source of tension between her and the eldest.
I'm personally at my wit's end about it all. I've contemplated ending it all, but I don't want to put the family through another reason for drama. When the kids entered my life, I made a personal commitment that I wouldn't just up and leave during difficult times.
But I feel like the situation at home is affecting my own mental well being. I get more and more anxiety attacks, and have taken more frequently to trying to isolate myself, thus making me feel like I'm making the problems worse.
I care for them all and I just wish that they would learn to get along instead of trying to gain the upper hand in arguments.
Part of me feels like things will lessen once the eldest decides to move out and become his own person, but I also don't want to kick him out, as he's wholly unprepared to move away, what with him not having a job and all.
I just need to find a way to better cope with all of this to avoid going mad myself.
TL;DR: | The increased drama and arguments between my step-kids and their mother is making me miserable. I need advice to help cope with it all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, how do I say this without coming off as a douche?
POST: My girlfriend calls me every break she has at work, and every bus stop she gets to. I love her very much and I don't want her to stop - I like to know that she's safe. But more than half of the time, when she calls me, she has absolutely nothing to talk about, whereas I'm trying to cook, watch something, play a game, read, or any number of things I do, and after a minute or two of being on the phone, the conversation basically ends, except nobody hangs up. She doesn't hang up because she has nothing better to do than talk to me, even though she has nothing at all to say. I don't hang up because I feel like if I tell her "okay well I'm glad you're safe, but I'm going to hang up and do this now" she will be upset with me because she thinks I'd rather do that thing than talk to her, which would be stupid because we're not fucking talking anyways, we're just listening to each other breathe. This goes on for WAY TOO FUCKING LONG before either she gives in and lets me go, or I tell her I'm trying to do something that requires my full attention and I need to let her go. I feel guilty for getting off the phone with her to go do something else, because she's in a position where she basically has nothing to do but talk to me. But when neither of us are talking and I'm straining my neck to hold the phone under my ear, listening to her breathe as I play Morrowind in eager anticipation for Skyrim, sometimes I just want to tell her "OKAY BABY WELL IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY I'M GOING TO HANG UP" (yes, capitalized) But I don't want her to feel like I'd rather play Morrowind than talk to her. But I don't have anything more to say, and neither does she.
TL;DR: | way too much silent time in phone conversations, how do I get her to start thinking of things to converse about before she calls me, or end the phone call without her feeling hurt? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend[27 M] for close to a year, we absolutely can't stop fighting. Is this normal or are we just incompatible?
POST: I feel like we're in this intense power struggle phase where we just can't seem to stop our arguments. It was all smooth sailing in the beginning, as it always is. We care about each other deeply, and we both know this. But we can't see eye to eye on many things anymore. We fight about everything and what's worse is when we fight, we fail to see it the way the other person does almost 90% of the time.
Both of us always have to make a point to make sure the other person sees it the way we do, and if we don't, it just turns into this huge clusterfuck. And then he gets mad because I don't understand. Or I get frustrated because he doesn't understand. It's just a mess.
TL;DR: | Do most couples go through a phase where there's just constant fighting? How do we stop this? How do you know if you're actually just incompatible with someone? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] feeling resentful towards my [23M] boyfriend because he hasn't worked in 4 months. (3yr relationship)
POST: My boyfriend and I have lived together for around 2 years now, He is a contractor and has been between contracts for over 4 months now (Getting paid through employment insurance). Recently, I've been working over time hours because 1. My office needs me as we are short staffed and I feel obligated to help and 2. My boyfriend and I are going to Europe in 3 weeks and I figure the extra money will be nice.
As summer is getting closer and the weather is getting nicer, he spends alot of his days with our friends (going to the beach, camping, day drinking, BBQ's ETC..). Obviously I am very jealous of his time off, and also feeling excluded and left out. I have been struggling lately with this because even on my rare days off, he has made plans with his friends to go camping or boys nights etc..
I tell him I'm feeling excluded or left out and I'm miserable being stuck in an office all day while he has fun, and he tells me I'm trying to make him feel guilty for hanging with his friends.. which isn't the case, I'm more so jealous and just want some sympathy and understanding of what I'm going through ( feeling like I have no personal life to enjoy). I'm starting to feel resentful towards him because I feel like he doesn't try to understand me, and gets frusterated when I tell him I'm upset. Also, because he doesn't make an effort to make summer plans with me on my days off.
Any advice? I realize I need to let go of this resentfulness.. But how do I get him to understand me and try and put effort into our very rare time off together?
TL;DR: | I work over time hours - boyfriend on EI for 4 months and enjoying his personal life while I sit in an office hearing about how much fun he's having and feeling resentful af. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend (20) told me (25) that she loves her ex then told me she didn't mean it.
POST: So it start that I surprised my girlfriend by taking her to the zoo as she had never been and then after took her to a nice b&b over looking the sea. There she told me, I think I love JP.
I was really up set by this and she soon noticed how sad I was and said I don't mean I love you. I was still upset and she went crazy think she had fucked things up. The tryed to kill her self by bang her head on the wall. I tried to call an ambulance but she didn't want me to.
She knows I hate her ex, he has threatened to kill me and burn me alive. She still talks to him often. And was going to meet up with him until she asked and I said I wouldn't feel comfortable as he still loves her.
She did take two hrs on a bus to drop of some special socks that I was taking about and knitted them her self. She said she was sorry.
We have been together for a year.
I don't know what to think, is someone could say something and not mean it. I just don't know what to think I love her but I am upset and hurt and it's been almost a week now and she expects me to be over it by now.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of one year said she thinks she loves her ex and then took it back and said she didn't mean it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by checking my phone while studying
POST: I was in the library studying for upcoming exams and I get a text message from a friend of mine that says
"Hopefully dodged a bullet?"
I didn't see that there was a picture attached and thought he was referring to himself so I jokingly replied
"Pregnancy scare? Lol"
And that's when I saw the picture. It's a picture my ex-girlfriend that completely used and abused me but we hooked up not that long ago. She looks 8 or 9 months pregnant. All logic or reasoning flew out of my mind. My Fitbit recorded that my heart rate increased from 58 bpm to 112 bpm within a minute.
So I start whispering (or so I thought...) to myself
"No, no, no, no, no!"
Then I realized that it has been over a year since we has even seen each other. When I came to this realization I just burst into tears and begin laughing in the most maniacal/Joker impersonating way. I forgot that I had my headphones on so I take them off to realize I have about 6 or 7 people nearby watching me very intently.
At a loss for words I simply say, "Happy not a father's day!"
TL;DR: | Got a text that I may have knocked up an ex-girlfriend. Did not react well in the middle of a public library... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 2 years have entered into a long distance relationship, and I have recurring thoughts of breaking up due to gut feelings.
POST: This girl seems like a nearly perfect person for me, but I have this gut feeling that I don't want to be with her forever. We both are engineers and are on the same level intellectually. We both love sports and enjoy lifting and running. We both have a witty sense of humor, and had a lot of the same friends in college. I keep on having a gut feeling, though, that she isn't the one for me. I don't feel the spark anymore when I think of her, and I kind of see her as an awesome best friend that I'm not physically attracted to anymore. The main issue for me is this decrease in physical attraction.
We are working on opposite sides of the U.S. for the summer and will be doing grad school just as far apart. Due to our different engineering disciplines, it seems very unlikely we will get the jobs we both want after college ends in a year.
Should I listen to my gut feeling and break up with her, or is my decreasing physical attraction to her expected after 2 years of dating? If I were to break up with her, how can I respectfully do it across the country and not in person?
TL;DR: | Extremely compatible with girl of 2 years, except I've lost a lot of physical attraction for her. Having doubts due to gut feeling and long distance. |
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