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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my SO [29M] 2 years, he got angry because I would rather sleep in the living room.
POST: Not really sure how to bring this up- Basically, I get home super late, like 9 to 10 on certain days from university because thats my schedule and I'm stuck with it. I get home, eat (I dont get to eat during the day) and go to bed. My boyfriend works early in the morning (4-5 am), and then has classes from 10 to mid afternoon and he gets home before 5 everyday.
Last night, I got home, and bf decided he wanted to go smoke, so he goes out to the truck (neighbors complain if we smoke around the house so we have to leave). I snuggle in for sleep because I'm fucking tired, and am almost asleep in the dead quiet room.. He comes back, starts getting ready for bed and then turns on the TV and netflix. (this is about 10:45 pm at this point) I ask him to like... not watch netflix because im really tired and he responds that its quiet and that i dont have class tomorrow so I dont have to go to sleep. I say that I'm very tired and want to go to sleep so I can go sleep in the living room. Well guys, this is apparently unacceptable because it exploded. I suddenly had an attitude and I didnt even need to go to sleep and better yet, *he wasnt tired* so he wanted to watch netflix. I took my things (pillow blankets and crap) and slept in the living room last night and he yelled and screamed about me being whatever attitude for not wanting to sleep in the room while he watches netflix. Now, I'm grumpy and hes trying to act like nothing happened.
So reddit, how to I metaphorically rub his nose in this shit. <-have you guys never heard this expression because you seem to think its revenge or something? Like what the fuck?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend decided that I didnt need to sleep because he wasnt tired and I didn't have class first thing in the morning, and proceeded to watch netflix while I slept in the living room. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] little sister [9F] had one of her classmates die in a car accident, and she's going to find out at school tomorrow. How do we console her?
POST: This morning (Sep 18th, 2016) there was a car accident on the road we live on, and this afternoon my parents and I discovered the only fatality was one of my little sister's classmates. My sister and her friend had known each other since kindergarten, half of their young little lives and were very close. My sister herself is an intelligent kid, heavily extroverted and makes friends very easily. She isn't afraid to stand up to kids if they bully her and is overall outstanding socially. But we're very afraid that this could change, and her personality and state of mind could be horribly affected.
We haven't told her because we want her to get a good night's sleep. The school will have grief counseling for a few days but beyond that we're in the dark about what will happen. She will notice that one of her friends is missing tomorrow, and the school is likely to tell them anyways.
I've dealt with depression for many years, but for different reasons. I know the pain it causes and the mindset it creates is very negative (I became very cynical and mistrusting of others, insecure even). We don't want that in her. This could be different if she was older and in her teens, but she's still in elementary. She barely even has an understanding on the concept of death. She's still "innocent", and we have no idea what we can really do to help her.
===============================
TL;DR: | My little sister is going to be devastated she lost one of her close friends, and we feel powerless in helping her and preventing her from losing that innocence, and possibly developing long-term depression. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [19F] official for a month, need advice on various things
POST: We have been getting along really well, but there are some hiccups. From her side I'm her first boyfriend, so she doesn't totally know how to handle things, which is alright but she often worries about how I've had other people and doesn't like to talk about it, how do I convey that I like her and no one else, I've explained it but either she gets weirded out or she doesn't understand. She also has had trouble with anorexia, so eating foods with her or her being naked is a problem with her, how do I get over that with her or ideas on ways to alleviate it.
Finally from my side, I have more trouble with the sexual aspect of our relationship, honestly shes so pretty and beautiful that I get extremely nervous or I just want her to enjoy herself so much that I can't keep an erection, so then I get even more nervous and it compounds over several weeks. I also have problems with believing its real, like I seriously stress often about whether shes gonna dump me, when she really loves me and has personally said she wouldn't, we even have plans for the future and I still stress CONSTANTLY about it to the point of breaking down crying about it.
TL;DR: | She has anorexia/first time issues, I have performance/anxiety issues, Mehh help me please! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Has anyone ever had to admit a parent, other family member, close loved one, etc. against their will due to severe mental health issues? Need some insight. My(23f) mom (58) is in serious denial about her severe depression. She is unable to pay her bills
POST: She asks me for money every month with a different excuse as to why her paychecks aren't cutting her expenses. What it boils down to is that she is not working enough because she is depressed, and cannot manage her finances because of it or plan wisely.
She is in complete denial and is only focusing on the current financial aspect. I can't support my mother, and her sisters up north are not exactly financially stable either. I don't know what to do. Because of her denial I fear that involving community services would make her snap.
I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Mom too depressed to work enough to support herself. I am not financially able to support her. Worried about involving the state as she is in denial about her mental health issues |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by seeing **Dope**
POST: Yesterday I fucked up by seeing the movie *Dope*. As soon as I got off a busy day of work (Father's day is one of the busiest days) I went to meet my dad and sister at the movies. I got off work a bit later than expected so I went straight there, instead of going home first. When I walked in my dad handed me my ticket. He went in and I went to grab a snack. Finally, I hand my ticket in and get the receipt-half of the ticket back which states the movie info.This whole time I hadn't bother see what movie we're seeing. I look down and instantly see the shenanigans my sister pulled. **Dope** in big letters. I recalled seeing the trailer for this movie and thinking it wasn't for me.
The movie is obviously about *drugs* in one way or another. I had smoked prior to coming. I was still feeling it half way through the movie.
This is where the fuck up comes. As the movie starts I think it's kind of funny because I have the same haircut as the main character. As the movie goes on, I (and most likely my family as well ) slowly start to realize that Malcolm (The main character) is basically **ME** in some parallel universe.
Malcolm is this geeky black kid with a flat-top haircut, who wishes he grew up in the 90s, due to the culture: Hip-Hop, computers, etc.
It's as if I became a director and decided to make a movie based off a twisted version of my years growing up or something.
For example: The Malcolm discusses, the deep web and bitcoin; both of which I had explained to my sister before.
So the movie wasn't bad. I laughed at least.
TL;DR: | I met my family at the movies. We ended up seeing [*Dope*] A movie i saw while *high* with my family. Got freaked out because Malcolm(Main Character) could have been based on me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26/F] with my BF [44/M] of 1.5 years, discussing marriage and kids. The age gap is becoming real!
POST: we've been together for 1.5 years, lived together for 6 months, and things are lovely. I have a truly supportive partner who challenges me in all the right ways. I never really saw myself getting married, but now I can kind of see why people do it. I certainly see myself as an old lady with children and grandchildren.
But he's 44. He's never been married before, but seems to really want to tie the knot and have a family. Help me think through this? I always figured I'd start worrying about kids after I turned 30, but if he'll be 48 by then, it seems like the smart thing might be to get started sooner.
Am I crazy to actually consider having children with someone so much older? Or is the difference between fathering at 44 and 50 not that big? He's a fabulous uncle to my sister's kids and to his brother and sister's kids. And I do want kids. There's just so much I want to do before that! live abroad! sleep on my friends floors when I visit them! go hiking and camping and...I don't know, maybe all that is possible?
TL;DR: | Do I get to marry the man I love and wait 5 years before kids, or will he be too old? Could it be the right choice to have kids before I think I'm 'ready'? What are my options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my GF [21 F] of 5 months, is addicted to marijuana and it is affecting our relationship.
POST: My girlfriend smokes weed almost everyday and any day that she can. I used to enable this addiction of hers by letting her smoke in my car when I would come over each night. However I've stopped letting her do that because I feared legal repercussions as well as problems with my family as they believe that weed is meth(lol). I have no problems with smoking and I don't think marijuana is a dangerous drug, however she is addicted to it and it's affecting our relationship is multiple ways. For one, if I don't let her smoke she get's upset and irritable for the rest of the night and will hardly talk to me or just be salty in general with her responses and anything sexual is off the table. She claims that smoking calms her down and that it helps her forget things in her past and takes her mind off things, which I agree to a certain extent. However you shouldn't need to relieve stress like that every single night. Secondly, if I don't supply her with the weed she will go to some of her so called "friends" which she claims although they are just shady drug dealers around our age. She has no money, she only just met these people through mutual friends, and yet they will let her smoke whenever she wants. I've never met them and I feel betrayed and manipulated each time she threatens to go smoke with them. She's very secretive about these so called friends and will not let me see who she's texting and is very secretive when it comes to her phone in general. I've talked to her multiple times about it saying that if she keeps seeing these random people to go smoke then you're just going to be skating on thin ice with me. I've told her that she has a problem and her addiction is affecting our relationship. I've talked to her almost every day about it and it seems to just come back to "it calms me down" and she won't admit that her behavior is toxic and scary. I'm not sure what to do or what to tell her anymore and I'm afraid there needs to be an ultimatum to stop this behavior of hers.
TL;DR: | GF gets upset and irritable when she doesn't smoke, hangs out with shady people I don't know in order to smoke, and can't go a day without it. She's secretive about her smoking life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: People are consistently insulting towards or around me [23F]. What can I do?
POST: This has been a longstanding trend in my life. I've been casually asked if I was retarded (I have a vision impediment) or throw stuff at me like "oh you're an only child, you're so privileged!","you're a natural blonde? I'm so sorry for you". Gay men I've known have been pretty forward in telling me that women are disgusting etc.. A therapist once told me that I didn't deserve her time, since I wasn't a victim of abuse..
Obviously, I'm doing something wrong when it comes to relationships. I try to be my best, be supportive, kind, but it always backfires horribly. I usually attract self-absorbed people, but at some point I realize it and distance myself from them. I usually end up being alone.
I've tried dishing it out as good as I was getting, but things would get out of hand quickly, or the other person would get ridiculously offended and ditch me..
What have I been doing wrong? Can it be an age thing? Would I have better luck finding friends in their late 20s?
TL;DR: | I'm decent and get chewed out all the time, I bite back and get left in the dust. What should I change about my demeanour? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: A question about diet--or lack there of:
POST: Hey, r/loseit! First of all, this sub has really helped bring back some lost motivation in my life--I'm so glad this exists!
So, I am a relatively healthy person with some extra fat I want to lose. I have worked out mostly consistently for the past several years and have fluctuated between 140 and 160. I'm at 156 right now (5'5") and would love to get to 130-ish, which is something I haven't been since grade school.
Here's my question: I have never followed a diet plan but just try to get to the gym 2-4 x a week. I don't eat horribly, no binging, little to no fast food, but I do eat a lot and don't cut out anything entirely. I've realized that although I'm pretty active, I don't have the best eating habits and I'm brainstorming realistic and lasting ways to make changes. I have read a lot about low carb diets (eg keto, atkins, etc) and success stories, but I feel really skeptical about something that limits so much of what I eat right now. Has anyone had lasting success (as in years) with reducing carbs or do you just do it until you've lost the weight and reintroduce them? Or, has anyone had success without cutting out things entirely and just watched portions and ate more fruits and veggies and limit crap (which is what I'm attempting right now)?
I just know myself, and cutting carbs is something I could do for awhile and maybe with some success, but I have a big feeling I would gain it all back.
TL;DR: | What are some changes you've made in your diet that bring results and that you can maintain on a long-term basis--Is less extreme dieting possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M]e 22 G[f] 24 getting into fights and not sure what to do next...
POST: We've been together for almost 3 years and overall happy our families get along...my family loves her, and vise versa. We live together but there has always been a taint of not being trusted by her....she hid it at first but now it's completely out in the open...she blames it mostly on her previous relationship and I've tried to be understanding but it's getting too much to bear....I love her with all my heart and I have thought of marriage with her before....I just don't think it's fair to me when I can trust her whole heartedly and not recieve the same back :/
TL;DR: | gf of 3 years doesn't trust me for no reason (really lol) and although I love her idk what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend came home with pictures of her and another guy hugging and having fun. It hurts, what should I do/say/think? [22F/22M] 4YR together.
POST: My girlfriend went away for 10 days as one of 6 leaders at a camp for adolescents. She showed me her photographs and some of them hurt me a bit.
There are photos with another leader (male) hugging her intimately while smiling for the camera at a party. Another one where she is sleeping on his shoulder while he rests his head on hers (this one hurts the most for me).
When she hugs me or rests her head on me, I think it's something special and a way of showing she loves me. But after seeing this, I don't know what it means anymore.
When she came back she said she had the time of her life.
I think about these pictures a lot and they hurt. I think I trust her, but seeing this in my face is difficult. Am I jealous? Should I tell her? Is it her, is it me? Not sure what to think of the pictures.
TL;DR: | Came home with pictures of her and another guy hugging and having fun. It hurts, what should I do/say/think? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19M) worry too much about things and wanna start being there for my girlfriend (18F)
POST: I (19M) don't mean pertaining to my (18F) girlfriend, I just mean about everything in life. My life has felt like a mess as of lately and has been bombarded with problems, but my girlfriend has been the one beacon of stability I've ever had. She's my rock, and listens to everything I ever have to say about my worries or rough patches in life. She has been my best friend long before we started dating, and I couldn't imagine life without her by my side.
She also always tells me that she'll always be there through everything and that every one of my shortcomings and problems will never be a big enough problem to come between us... I sometimes wonder if my constant anxiety will be enough to break her one of these days, but I'm convinced that this girl of mine will be my Mrs. [my last name] one day. I think I'm just being an absolute twat, but I don't want to do something one of these times that drives her away...
My biggest thing here is I would like to find a middle ground. I vent a lot to her, but she doesn't have much to say to me about her own thoughts (which I'm sure is because of my venting monopolizing conversation). I need to learn to tone the venting down. I guess there's not really a problem, because she hasn't ever given any indication of one. Maybe my venting takes away from time where she could be worrying as well, since she is also anxious. We really are as perfect for each other as we always knew, I guess.
TL;DR: | I worry about nothing all the time, but I fear it never gives my girlfriend the chance to worry about things or say her thoughts. It could just be me ironically being stupid over nothing some more, however. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm introducing freshman to my high school tomorrow. What outrageous lies/fake stories should I tell them about the school?
POST: Hi Reddit,
I'm helping out at my school's "Fish Camp" tomorrow and I'd like to tell the freshmen something outrageous about the school. For example, upperclassmen like to tell the freshmen that there's a pool on our third floor wing (namely Aqua Wing). We also warn them not to step on our school logo in the courtyard, with no explanation given. We just tell them bad things happen to those who step there. If you've got anything (anything at all) that you think I should tell them, please post here! Thanks!
TL;DR: | I'm introducing Freshmen to high school tomorrow. What story/lie should I tell them about the school? Thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: How to confront a roommate?
POST: Me and my roommate are pretty much best friends- kinda- but we do have some problems- 2 glaring ones in fact that have been going on for so long that they are making me so mad that I can't seem to get them resolved.
1- my roommate has a habitual need to use paper towels for everything- I would be perfectly fine with that if she threw them away. She also tends to leave empty Splenda packets, lean cuisine, and general trash laying all over the kitchen. (The trash can is a STEP away) also kind of recently she has begun to use my cups while I am gone on the weekends- she promises she will wash them- yet two of my cups (my favorite cups) are sitting with week old questionable alcohol mixes in them. And only this weekend she borrowed my plates and left them lying all over the kitchen.
2- she uses my printer without permission, in fact she uses it more than I do. I bought ink at the beginning of this year, and my computer is already alerting
Me that I am low- but i have printed less than 20 pages- none of them being color. She is very careless about using
My printer she often strings the USB cord out really far and leaves it there or clutters my desk with paper. I have asked her to purchase my new ink, but for some reason I doubt that will happen.
Lastly she is coming home with me for
Spring break, and going to Vegas with my family- we were going to leave Friday, but now she is asking if we can leave Saturday because her 'big' is coming to town (for like the 10th time)- haven't quite told her I would like to go Friday as to celebrate my mothers birthday which is Tuesday.
TL;DR: | roommate is a ink stealing, kitchen pig- but otherwise really likeable. How do I confront her? (I'm a passive person) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 M] just discovered my family has been tracking me through my phone.
POST: Using a throwaway for this.
A bit of background first, I am a 24 year old who is still living at home with my family. I am not completely deprived of freedom but majority of the time it does feel like it.
Recently I started dating a girl who is two years older and has two kids, my family disapproves of this relationship saying that I would be throwing my life away and nothing good could come from this relationship because she has two kids. Her having two kids is the ONLY reason for why they are against it. As I mentioned about having freedom, going out causes my family, particularly my mom, to go paranoid, calling me and texting me to see where I am, what am I doing, what time I will be home, etc. Because of this I don't go out much so last Sunday I went out with the girl I am dating, however I told my family I was going to work when in reality I spent the day with her. I realize it was foolish and is like not have lied and my family found out I spent the day with her so they confronted me about it when I got home that day. They told me basically how they found out I was with her (which I can confirm was a lie of how they found out). Since then there has been a huge tension but since my work schedule differs from the rest of my family I don't see them much.
I spent the mornings trying to piece together how they found out and eventually found out they have not only been tracking my location through my phone, they have tried but I don't know if they succeeded in reading my text messages, not directly on my phone but through their laptops. I feel so angry and absolutely betrayed by the fact that they have been doing what they did and are doing since I know they were doing it earlier today.
How do I go about telling them that I know what they have been doing?
TL;DR: | Family disapproves of relationship, spent the day with the girl and family has been tracking me ever since and reading my text messages. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU my computer.
POST: So, the fuck up started on Sunday night. I was just winding down playing video games like any other night when my computer freezes, okay no biggie right, maybe just wait a bit and it'll sort itself out. After 10 seconds I am done with that plan and initiate plan B, restart the computer.
I lean down and press the power button, but I wasn't looking when I did this and the computer powers off instantly (sweet, no waiting) so I try starting it up again. While it did it's loading thing I went and ressuplied my self with drink and food.
I come back and it's frozen, it hasn't even loaded the 'Welcome' or whatever Windows says when it starts up, it's frozen on a blank, black screen and refuses to budge. After ten minutes of waiting it finally gets past that black, blank screen and comes to an error.
Apparently I had just corrupted my registery and need to reinstall Windows 7 onto the computer. Okay that's cool, I have another computer (the one I am typing to you on) that I can download windows and burn it onto a disk before installing it to the now-vegetable other computer.
Computer isn't playing ball with me so I decided to take it into my local computer store to get it fixed.
1 day and $100 later - Wednesday, it is back home and sitting at our desk.
It's running fine, and I wound off that night and the next night, thursday, playing video games.
And then there's this morning. I wake up and try turning it on so I can browse facebook and reddit while I eat my toast and it says there's a disk reading error or something along those lines.
Oh shit. Even in my limited knowledge of computers, I know that my hard drive has packed a sad.
Turns out this is because instead of pushing the power button, I must have accidentally pushed the reset button, which is directly below the power button and so is easy to accidentally hit, like I did on Sunday.
This would explain why it turned off instantly, I cut the power.
Now I have to take it in to the computer store *again* to get it fixed, and that shit's not gonna be cheap either.
TL;DR: | accidentally hit reset button on my computer instead of power button when it froze, after corrputing the registery my hard drive failed. Shit's gonna be expensive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a [23 M] dating a [21 F] for past year. Things are great, we've never fought or argued, and we both care deeply for each other. I'm in love with someone else...
POST: Like the title says, I'm in a very committed and caring relationship, however I have very strong feelings for someone else. These other feelings have existed for almost two years now. This other girl is also in a relationship and lives about 7 hours away now (we used to basically be neighbors), I've told her about my feelings, and she also feels the same way, and says the only problem is distance.
I don't know what to do anymore, I care so much for my girlfriend, she's never hurt me or done anything to make me dislike her, and vice versa, but my feelings for the other girl are so impenetrable that I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | I'm in a loving committed relationship, I'm in love with another girl who is also in a committed relationship, she also loves me. We live 7 hours apart, I have no idea what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking it was a telemarketer who called me
POST: Background: my cell phone gets a lot of calls from telemarketers and robocallers. Every time I think it's someone or something important, I pick up the phone... only to be notified I've won a cruise to the Bahamas. Great, let me schedule that with all those other cruises I've won along with those free air duct cleanings.
What I like to do when I get a telemarketer calling me is to screw with them. I've done it all, from selling them their own product back to them to poorly singing stuff that should be confined to the shower stall. If there's anything considered ludicrous and annoying, I've probably tested it on one of those poor saps.
So a week ago, I received a phone call on my cell. I didn't recognize the number which meant it was telemarketer o'clock! I decided my course of action on how to mess with them and picked up the phone.
I let the caller sit there in silence.
"...hello?" the caller asked.
This was my moment. Speaking in the most fruity voice I could, I said, "HelloooOooOooO!"
"Is this mercurialmaverick?" was the response, which was curious. Since when did telemarketers call me by my name? Usually, there'd be a cruise ship horn or someone mangling my last name. I smartened up in that moment and confirmed that mercurialmaverick was me.
It turned out that the person on the other end was someone who had looked at my resume and wanted to ask me a few questions about myself. You see, I've been applying for jobs for the past months and this was the first call back I've received since I began that blitz. I answered the rest of her questions with ease, but the damage was done.
...I haven't heard back from them since that call. Shit.
TL;DR: | thought someone who called was a telemarketer. Instead, probably cost my chance at getting a job after months of searching. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I just got friendzoned my my girlfriend... WTF
POST: Some background first, my girlfriend[19] and I[19] have been dating for about 9 months, we met in our first yea of college. The first year was amazing and i thought we had something going for us and so did she. But then the summer came. She doesn't live to far off campus but i on the other hand live about an hour and a half from campus. Through the summer i text her everyday and and call her every weekend to see whats up.
I finally move into the dorms and the next day she moves in I spend the whole day trying to talk to her but I was awkward and I couldn't until i finally found out she want ed to just be friends. Me being so emotional decides to let her go and be happy but I didn't get a reason from her why she had left me.
I felt so embarrassed after that i could barely stare at her or even talk to her the next day. Sure we were still friends but I just wanted a reason why she decided what she decided because i want to be able to close that door without regretting something that I did.
The same day that I ignored her was the same night I got a answer that has been in my head since. I talked to her and ask what had happened to us during the summer. she said that it just happened.... I don't know what this means so I was wondering if r/relationships could provide anything
Here's something she sent me last night after I talked to her: [Picture](
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 9 months says that we are better off as friends, I asked what I did to make her come to this decision and she says it just happened |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] of 4 months, guy made my girlfriend drink from his straw at a party and I cant get over it.
POST: At a party with my girlfriend, while I was gone for a second one of the guys we were talking to asked her to try his drink. When she refused he asked her to try it from his straw and she did. She told me the next morning that happened, I didn't really think it was that big of a deal but the more I think about it the more it drives me crazy. I think he was using it as symbolism for oral sex. Two weeks after it happened it was bothering me more and more. I brought it up in conversation saying "I want to be the only man that squirts things in your mouth" and she got suuuuper defensive / pissed, saying that the situation was very degrading and that me using words like squirt was completely inappropriate. She demanded we change the subject and refused to talk about it after.
I'm bothered by how inordinately defensive she was about it, it felt like there was an agenda. I'm not allowed to bring it up anymore.
The thoughts I have now about the situation are 1. She let him do it or 2. Is incapable of saying no to guys demands. Either one is troubling. Help me get my head around this issue so I can move on.
TL;DR: | guy made my girlfriend drink from his straw when I wasn't looking and the symbolism bothered me. I'm not allowed to talk about it anymore. Why would she do this and then be super defensive about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: When I was about 10 or so, I accidentally cracked the screen on our big screen family TV. Reddit, what is your biggest "OH SHIT" moment doing stupid stuff as a kid?
POST: For those who really want to hear the story:
One night my dad pissed me off. I mean *reeeaaalllyy* pissed me off as I was and still am a pretty chill person (or so I think). Anyway, in order to hide my anger after my dad had left the room (the family room) I threw a sort of silent tantrum. You know, the type of tantrum that you know if you were loud you would get in even more trouble. So I stood there flailing my arms about and twirling in circles out of pure frustration with tears in my eyes knowing that I could do nothing about my situation. Instead of punching a pillow as any normal person would do to relieve anger mid-tantrum, I noticed my shoe on the floor and decided to pick it up. My master plan was to throw the shoe on the floor and have it hit the ground on its side so nothing would happen except for maybe a "THUNK" on the floor.
NOPE.
The shoe flung down to the ground with the toe portion hitting the ground and it bounced up, twisted and hit right into the screen of our ONLY big screen television. Luckily, it didn't go into the TV, but it left a HUGE crack in it.
"OH FUCK," said my face and I silently stood there looking at the giant crack in the TV screen with my mouth wide open as the the tantrum INSTANTLY ended.
My dad screamed from downstairs, "Sirhc7000, what just happened?!"
As both my mom and my dad came up the stairs everything seemed to move in slow motion and their steps almost sounded like they were echoing. I knew I was fucked and I deserved whatever I had coming. Heavy breathing, chest-tightness, and a cold chill down my spine seemed to set in during this period that felt like forever. I nearly felt like I was going to pass out. Needless to say, I got in big trouble and this was probably the most anxious moment of my kid life. I remember just as clear as day.
TL;DR: | I got mad at my dad. Threw a shoe at the ground that popped up and hit our good TV. I freaked out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22M) have been casually dating her (23F) for about 4.5 weeks; getting mixed signals
POST: Ages are in title. She works at a local health center. I had finished working out one morning and she was flirting with me, and we got to chatting. The next day I went in again (I train daily) and she was flirting with me again, so I asked her out.
Since then we've been going out a couple of times a week. She's pretty relaxed and laid back, and we definitely have a lot in common, but I find myself getting frustrated with her communication style.
When we first started chatting she'd text me a lot, was prompt in responses, etc. We both work full time - and both love our jobs - so I understand I'm not a priority, nor do I expect to be one. Last night I tried making plans and didn't get a response for 12 hours, and then her response was that she had work until late and "might go out after that" depending on how she felt. She didn't get back to me at all.
Stuff like this really pisses me off, because since we started dating I've felt like I have been making the most effort to instigate conversation or make plans. I normally would have just cut my losses and called it a day, but she has explicitly stated a few times that she is into me and enjoys my company/wants this to go further. In the same place though, I feel like we haven't known each other long enough for me to tell her I'd like her to make more effort.
Another element to this that bugs me is that when we're out she can instantly respond to work inquiries (which I somewhat understand), but go 24+ hours without even a, "Hey, how was your day?" or something casual. I'm a pretty laid back guy, but it's starting to wear me down.
TL;DR: | Been seeing new girl for 4.5 weeks, I feel like she has lost interest even though she says she hasn't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: My dog has nightmares nightmares every night, can I help?
POST: I adopted a friend's German Shorthair Pointer (8 years old, and they got him when he was 3) about 6 months ago. He sleeps with me in my bed, and almost every single night I've noticed he whines, yelps, and squirms as if he's in pain while sleeping. When I say his name, he wakes up right away, but as soon as he settles down, he goes right back into it for about 5 minutes before he quiets down. Then, it happens periodically through the night.
I'm not sure what to do. It doesn't really happen when he's napping in the day time; it's not disrupting my sleep in any significant way, but I just want to help because it does seem to distress him.
Is this some sign of abuse while he was a pup? No one can tell me about his life as a very young dog, but he is VERY OCD about fetching something. That seems to be the only thing he gets pleasure from. He doesn't care about being petted, he doesn't care about affection, he just wants that ball/stick/stuffed animal/whatever.
Could all of this be the result of really intense/abusive training as a puppy, or am I over-reacting? If so, is there anything I can do to help?
I've only ever had 2 dogs in my life (both bird dogs - Labrador Retrievers), and both were trained/treated well, which makes me think that this is out of the ordinary. Sorry if I'm completely off-base here, I'm just trying to help him.
TL;DR: | adopted dog has constant nightmares, multiple times a night, and is crazy OCD about fetching. Wondering if he was possibly abused as a puppy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend broke trust - what do? (F19)
POST: I've been dating a guy (21) for about 3 months now and everything has been going fairly well. We go to a pretty small school where most people know each other, so when the topic of who we had each previously hooked up with came up I was hesitant to divulge that information. He pressured me into it, though, and I ended up revealing to him that I had, before meeting him, been hooking up with my best friend (who he is also friends with). I told him specifically not to bring it up with said friend as I didn't want any sort of teasing or discussion of what I am like as a sexual partner to occur, and he did a great job respecting that until this weekend when he got extremely drunk and confronted my ex-partner about it in front of two of our other friends. Now they know about something that is very private to me, as well as the partner with whom I was hooking up, and I don't know how to feel about that. My current partner has since apologized but he doesn't seem to understand that there is more to it than telling a secret. For me, it seems to be bigger than that, and I feel as though I am being shamed for my past actions. In addition to this, there is some dispute over whether he told his friends how many sexual partners I have had - if this is true, I know that it is over. If it is not, I'm still at a loss on how to handle the situation - any advice?
TL;DR: | Told my boyfriend that I had previously hooked up with one of our mutual friends and told him not to tell anyone. He confronted said ex partner in front of other friends and I am displeased/in need of advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27/F] off again with my [28/M] boyfriend after 10 months, he keeps ending things then changing his mind. I'm tired of it.
POST: Hi!
First post.
I think I know the right answer, Just need opinions/support.
Been dating for 10 months, things were great in the beginning (of course.) He was talking moving-in/marriage extremely early on, but I wanted to move slower.
At 5 months, when my feelings were moving towards real love, he let me know that he didn't feel romantic towards me anymore but was scared it was just the "honeymoon" effect wearing off and didn't want to end the relationship prematurely.
Since then however, things haven't been the same. We've been off and on (much to my displeasure), general feelings of distance and disinterest (emotionally, physically, sexually) on his part.
We've tried going on trips, trialed living together, date nights, but nothing has made him feel more interested in the relationship. Though I love him and care for him, I'm quite tired of feeling taken for granted and disappointed. A lot of hurt feelings are piling up.
Last week, he (again) said he couldn't "do this anymore". We cried, he gave me my apartment keys back. It was over. But before long he again expressed feelings of regret and is texting me like nothing has changed. However, I'm not sure I want to get back together.
This is a novel feeling for me. I've always tried to the bitter end to make every relationship work. Always the dumpee. Goonies never say die. All that.
I just feel like there are more bad memories than happy ones. I don't know if I can move past all the hurt. If it hasn't even been a year of dating and we've already gone through this much strife, it might be a sign that we're not meant to be involved romantically.
I'm terrified to make this final. Help me out? What do you think? Have you been on either side of this before
TL;DR: | On-again/off-again relationship, boyfriend wants to get back together, I might finally be ready to end it for good. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it OK to quit a job you haven't started yet?
POST: I am graduating in May and had an interview the other month with a company. They gave me an offer but only gave me two weeks to accept. After a week and six days I had no other offers so I took the job. I'm supposed to start in July, a couple months after graduation. Flash forward to now, I interviewed with a company much closer to home, who think I only have another offer, and have upped the salary they are offering by about $4,000 to get me to take their job. Is it OK to say no to the company I already accepted with, got my background check and all my HR paperwork done with?
TL;DR: | Took an offer, better one came along, is it rude to turn down the first being that I took their offer? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24 m) hate my girlfriend (19 f) going to parties. It always ends poorly.
POST: We've only been together a few months, so I know we're still in the ironing-out phase if you will.
And if this comes out as our biggest problem, then I think we're ok, but it is something we just can't seem to find common ground on.
She's in college and still kind of adjusting to everything. As a young college student, parties tend to be *the* place to go.
I, being the older one, have been there and done that. I know what happens when you throw college guys, college girls, drugs and alcohol all in the same room.
And each time, I try to remind her that last time didn't go over too well, and she just brushes it off and basically says I don't know what I'm talking about.
So long story short, after last night, she's been to 1 party where something bad didn't happen. Last night was not that night.
I, being straightedge, am completely against drugs/alcohol. She tells me last night shes already put down a bunch of drinks and burned herself getting high. Oh and some guy borderline sexually assaulted her. So now, she's doing things that I absolutely refuse to include in my life, and other guys are feeling up my girlfriend. I'm hours away from her campus and completely helpless in these situations. The only thing I can do is trust her, and hope for the best.
But this is getting old. This isn't the first time she's gotten drunk. Or smoked. Or been groped.
And I know I probably sound like an overpowering boyfriend, but I'm really not! I want her to have fun! I want her to enjoy college and get some experience out of life. It's just really hard when she's far away, getting into trouble, and all I can do is sit back and say, "I told you so. Are you ok?"
I just don't know what to do or say. I want her to have fun in life and for her to get the "full" experience out of college, but this is getting hard for me. Any ideas/tips?
TL;DR: | Younger college girlfriend is partying, drinking/smoking against my beliefs, and being sexually harassed. I can't convince her to have fun more responsibly and Im afraid something really bad is going to happen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 F] with my guy friend[18 M] last night- am I just imagining things? Are your senses usually right?
POST: Last night, I had dinner and hung out with a couple friends (3 girls including me + 1 guy). I am the most extroverted, so I'm used to people sort of paying a bit more attention to me in the group, but I noticed that one of my friends seemed to be acting different. He would look at me exclusively and straight into my eyes when he was talking, even though my friend standing next to me is far prettier, and he generally seemed extra smiley or whatever.
Anyway, throughout the night I just got a different sort of vibe from him, almost instinctive, that he liked me. I know people usually rely on "signs" though, so here were some that I realized later might be significant?
When we were all playing cards together, I noticed that when someone cracked a joke, he would look at me first when everyone laughed.
One time I turned my head to laugh at something and turned back to find that he was staring me straight in the eyes, which made me super embarrassed so I looked away immediately. I'm shy, so I didn't check the rest of the night to see if it was happening again.
Later, when I had to leave early, he was pointedly staring down straight at the ground while everyone was telling me goodbye... sort of weird/awkward? Usually with friends, you smile and wave you know?
The next morning, thinking about how he might like me made me realize that he's actually so wonderful and that he's just way too good for me. Straight up.
AND the fact that he didn't point his feet to me the entire night, which is apparently one of those signs of interest I learned from googling shit about crushes after realizing I had one this morning. (Do you always do the feet pointing thing?)
TL;DR: | When you get the sense that someone likes you are you usually right? How do you go about handling inconvenient crushes? (we're both going to college in the fall) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 m] with my girlfriend [24 f] 6 months, question about openness.
POST: Hi,
When I first started seeing my girlfriend it was off Tinder. I was talking with another girl at the time who was not in the area and hadn't had the chance to meet in person.
I told my GF pretty quickly about this situation and she was receptive to my honesty. We weren't serious or anything and so at that point we had no commitment to each other.
A few weeks passed and we were getting closer, I told her I was going to meet up with the other girl but didn't have any intention of pursuing her and I just wanted to tell girl B the situation and not just cut off communication. At that point I asked my (now) GF if she was seeing anyone else and she shook her head. I didn't really see it as a definitive answer and as we hadn't really discussed commitment I wasn't really that phased.
So fast forward a few months and we are discussing that period of time. Apparently she had had a FWB type situation going on for months before we met and that was kind of overlapping during that time. She wasn't seeing him for sex and was avoiding seeing him but she was uncertain if talking to him or going to concerts with him (they like the same music) was "seeing someone" so I got a head shake response. Turned out that she hadn't been sexual with him since we first met but that was by chance rather than any formal commitment.
What's been bothering me though is that I'm not sure if the head shake was a lack of openness. I would generally interpret a headshake as a no but that wasn't really the truth. Since then she has been open in any discussion we have so I don't know why this still hangs around in my thoughts.
Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | ages ago now girlfriend, then dating, shook her head in response to a pretty significant question. Turned out to not be 100% truthful so I have it stuck in my head. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF parents assume that I am christian (pentecostal) what do I do?
POST: Me (M22) Her (F24). Been together for 4 years. So her family is very right wing and pentecostal. In their beliefs you can't be with someone who is not of that faith or you will go to hell. She doesn't have an issue with my lack of "faith", but her parents and family assume that I am of the same faith. The issue is I am atheist. Should I let them think I am christian? which may cause issues down the road for example if we get married I don't want it to be a religious wedding. I will not baptise my kids and so on. or should I tell them I am atheist? which I am pretty sure would be a huge issue for their family. Again my gf knows all this I just don't want to have a shitty relationship with her family who she is very close to.
TL;DR: | Gf of 4 years family is very religious and assume I am as well. Should I tell them I am atheist or just let them be blissfully ignorant? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend is on a weekend away with his mates, phoned me about half an hour ago telling me he went to a brothel???
POST: F [21]
My boyfriend [22] of 2 years is on a weekend away with his mates in a different country. He phones me, while drunk and off his face on drugs telling me they all went to a brothel and that he didn't do anything and found it disgusting. They just went to 'look' should I be suspicious?
I'm absolutely disgusted he even set foot in one. I completely trusted him going away on this trip and we have been keeping in contact regularly saying how much we miss each other but this has just sent me crazy thinking the worst. How would you feel?
TL;DR: | boyfriends on weekend away, phones to say he visited a brothel but didn't do anything, should I be suspicious? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I work in retail. Is this legal?
POST: I work in a popular clothing store in Oregon. Today, my store manager comes up to every employee and has them sign a "retraining document" stating that "texting/talking about work outside of work may be grounds for termination." I immediately questioned WHY such a thing would happen. She said it was because she doesn't want gossip about work (I work with mostly early 20something women). I said there was no way she could ever have proof that people were texting about work, since going into our phones would be an invasion of privacy. To be honest, I got a little short with her because I still couldn't fathom why this was a rule.
After the conversation, another employee who had asked about this rule came up to me and said that my manager implied that since I was questioning, I'm probably a culprit of this gossip. I don't own any coworkers phone numbers, and I don't hang out with them outside of work. I even got a talking-to about my "attitude problem." Mind you, this manager is notoriously blunt and I told her that her tone is very harsh most of the time.
TL;DR: | Is it legal to fire someone because they were talking about work, *outside* of work? I understand that some companies are now asking for Facebook passwords and whatnot to monitor activity, which I still think is ridiculous. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why do girls always assume you are hitting on them?
POST: Earlier I was in my marketing class and we had went over exam scores from our first exam. Most of the class did a shit job on it, the professor gave a small quiz that wasn't major work but would boost up the grades for the people who needed it. About an hour passed, and the girl that sits next to me comes straggling in, and for lack of a better term, she looked like shit. I over heard her tell her friend what an awful day she had, and he gave her the quiz and went on lecturing. Just to be kind, because she had a shit day, and she had NO idea what the answers were, I gave her all the answers. A little later, I overheard her say..yeah he gave me the answers, he probably just wants to try and go out with me or something....
My question, why do most girls always assume you have alterior motives? I was just trying to help out a little, for someone who had a shit day? Just wanted to put that out there, for anyones consideration.
TL;DR: | Girl was having a shitty day, I gave her the answers for a quiz she missed, and she assumed I was hitting on her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with no kids and never been married dating a [30m] with 3 girls and recently separated, not sure if this is best for everyone.
POST: I met Daniel through mutual friends and we were strictly platonic for a few months. He has three daughters that his wife left him with for another man (1 of them is not even his). He lives at home with his parents and the kids since the separation a year ago and is doing well considering the circumstances. He is haply, confident, and loves the girls with all his heart.
We hit it off eventually and I've been out of town with his extended family for the weekend. Feeling overwhelmed. I feel distant when he is having moments with his daughters. Although I love kids and I adore his, I just cannot relate. He is an amazing, kind hearted and sincere man, but I don't know if I could handle jumping into someone else's family essentially. I feel insecure and somewhat jealous. I can sense very emotionally difficult times for me in this future.
Anyone else been in this type of situation? Does it work?
TL;DR: | No kids never married with a man who has 3 daughters and is separated from his wife. Not sure how to handle my feelings and if this is right. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Lawyers of Reddit...I need help/advise.
POST: So my girlfriend's (17) dad has just gone through a divorce. His ex-wife has 2 kids (not by him) and together they had gotten a dog for the kids. When they split up, They decided to take the dog about 5 days out of the week. That was annoying but at least my girlfriend got to see her dog. But now, the ex-wife has blocked my girlfriends number and refuses to let her see the dog. The most annoying part is that her dad bought the dog, so it's legally his. They tried talking to the cops but they didn't do any help. And her dad can't afford to pay thousands of dollars to go through the court system for the dog. What can she/I do?
Thanks in advanced.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's dad's ex-wife took the dog that my girlfriend's dad owns. Refuses to give back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I save face after a phone I wasn't on went off during my interview, or am I screwed?
POST: Had a job interview for my dream job and just my luck the other phone in my office that I don't know how to operate just starts ringing. I say sorry and try to get it to stop. Finally it does and go on with he interview. It goes off a second time because I still hadn't figured it off but I see the mute button on it this time and the ringing stops. The second time I didn't apologize even though I should have I was just relieved to get that darn phone to stop. Other than that it was a perfect interview and I think I'm a really really good candidate for this position. Should I write an apology in addition to thank you letter I already sent? Or would that be worse than not mentioning it?
TL;DR: | In an otherwise perfect telephone job interview a phone I'm not familiar with went off twice before I figured how to mute it. Can I fix it and how? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my Brother [29 M], have never gotten along and I feel like I should not invite him to my wedding.
POST: Ill try be as quick as possible, but my brother and myself have never gotten along. We constantly bickered as children and even as adults he is constantly pushing my buttons (and I mean always, one birthday he told everyone I drink and drive, which I have never done nor will ever. It was my birthday). My issue isn't so much with him however.
Our Mother however feels very guilty over the fact that he has a learning disorder (ADHD) and so would constantly baby him. To the point where he could say what ever he wanted to me, but the moment I would defend myself she would stop me and tell me how sensitive he is.
I haven't really seen my brother in about 2 years, maybe three times including two Christmas'. I finally had enough of his crap when I wanted to go to restaurant to not only celebrate my birthday but also my graduation of first class honors. However he didn't think it was important and refused to go anywhere unless it was fast food place, as he didn't want to drive to far. Long story short my Mother took his side and the whole family has not been on good speaking terms since.
I will be proposing to my girlfriend of seven years in about two months time. I have no doubt that she will say yes. The only problem is, I think my mother will disapprove when I refuse to invite him to my wedding. It will probably further damage our families relationship but I honestly am just thinking of myself in this case because it is MY wedding. Is that wrong of me?
Extra info: My brother is a compulsive lying womanising asshole who has no friends because as my Mother puts it, "he has strong opinions". He is also my half brother, his father is a functioning alcoholic and the rest of his family are drugged up HS drop outs. My father left when I was very young and I don't know anyone from that side of my family. My Mother (very christian, so no drugs and very educated. She just made bad decisions with men) is very caring and supportive towards me as long as it doesn't involve my Brother in any shape or form.
TL;DR: | I don't want to invite my brother to my wedding because we do not get along and he treats me like shit. Will probably hurt the family if I don't. Should I feel bad? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [M/21] having trouble seeing of [F/19] is interested in me more than as a study partner. Step-by-step guide would be nice.
POST: So I'm in my last year of college and pretty much have no dating history, save for one kiss a few months ago that didn't go anywhere. Yes, that was my first kiss.
However, recently I've met a girl this quarter and she's from East Asia - foreign exchange student. We studied together for an exam this week so I've seen her maybe 3-4 times total since the quarters started. She's nice in person, and I've gotten her number/facebook. However, she just seems to reply to my texts and doesn't really take the initiative on anything. Same thing in real life, she doesn't take initiative in conversation and her mood just doesn't seem too interested beyond studying. I suggested that she and I attend this taco night thing the university is hosting this weekend, and she said yes... so maybe that's a sign she's interested? I have no clue. I asked her if she wanted to hang out today and she said no, she had to study for an upcoming test on friday.
I really don't want to fuck this up with my inexperience. I know it's a lot to ask, but could someone help me with a step-by-step guide on what to do at this point? Self-doubt has already begun to creep up on me, and I've been thinking all day about how she's probably not interested, probably just being nice to me, etc.
TL;DR: | Walking on a minefield, at least that's what it seems in my mind. Trying to figure out if this girl is interested or could be interested in the near future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not inviting someone to my birthday party
POST: This fuck up all starts seven years ago. There was a girl at school that I wanted to become friends with, so me being the then-social person I was, I decided to strike up a conversation with her. She seemed nice at first, but then she started getting meaner and meaner. She threatened to kill my cat, put all kinds of gum in my hair, and then would pinch me every day for no reason. Seven year old me was smart and decided to stay away from her.
Flash forward to fourth grade. The girl seems to have cleaned up her act and we become best friends. Three years later, we start junior high. She starts getting meaner in this time by telling me and a friend to go fuck ourselves, insulting our hair and personalities, etc. Said friend and I decide to ask her to stop, which only makes the situation worse and starts a shitload of seventh grade drama that's enough to last a lifetime. Cue mental sigh.
Jump to earlier this week. My birthday was yesterday, so I decided to have a birthday party. Because our house is small, I'm only allowed to invite about 10 people, which is reasonable. I don't invite my "friend," who is now trying to become friends with me again, because I don't want to be insulted on my birthday. She somehow found out about the party and confronted me about it, and is now saying that she "doesn't know what she did." Now, I don't know what to do and I'm pretty sure she's going to yell at me in front of everyone tomorrow. Cue yet another mental sigh.
TL;DR: | My friend was mean, I didn't invite friend to my birthday party, and now friend is probably going to kill me in front of everyone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My gf and I are thinking of an open relationship. I need help.
POST: We are both young, and we started our relationship as an open one, which was what she needed and what helped me not feel the pressure of having to be able to hold onto someone. About 5 months ago, we decided that since we had pretty much only been with each other, that we should declare ourselves monogamous, but with the understanding that sexual relations with other people might happen (she was on exchange, it was my first year in college). So we've been together in that way for a year. She just got back from exchange, and her transition back into the US is really difficult, along with a strained relationship with her mother causing her a lot of stress. I think she feels really isolated and alone, and as my college is 60 miles from where she lives, I only see her on weekends, and mostly I think, I am the only person she has to talk to about the stress in her life. I love her dearly, and I want her to be happy. She tells me that she often has urges to have sex with random people, which you can imagine sort of puts me off. I feel that the best thing for us might be an open relationship, but I don't want to have sex with anyone else, I just want her to be happy. How do I transition into someone more open in that way, and not be burned in the hellfire of horrible thoughts and images that my mind creates about her being with other guys?
TL;DR: | My gf and I of a year want an open relationship now that we are 60 miles away, and she is experiencing stress and sexual frustration. Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: My working predicament: studying and working away from home.
POST: Hello Reddit users!
So here is my problem, I am in my first year of my degree and am studying away from home, so naturally i'm skint! I plan on getting a job, and have a trial tomorrow, the trouble is I desperately want to go home for my holidays, easter and summer. But, and what i didn't realise until now, from my employers perspective they are hiring me, only to lose me during their busiest season.
Let me try and explain this situation the best I can.
Im 19 and studying around 260 miles and a ferry ride from my rural home, so quick trips home are out of the equation. At home I have a part time job Waiting and as Kitchen Porter, I am close to my friends and family and I'm staying with my parents **(rent free!!)**
At Uni, I am paying rent, bills, groceries and studying. My course is only 3 days a week, so i have time to waste (work).
So i guess my questions to you are: should i take on a job during term time, and hope they understand i want to go home during summer (when they need employees the most), and risk them not letting me leave? Will I have to quit/lose my job? Or do I find somewhere to live whilst i work here through summer, so I can hold down a job I might not necessarily have after summer during term time, and end up earning less than I would at home?
I know that staying here and holding a job down through summer might be best in the long term, but i feel if i stay here through summer I'll be missing out on everything and everyone back home and will be insanely homesick.
Thanks for your time, M.
TL;DR: | Should i hold down a job that might benefit me in the long-term, whilst being incredibly homesick in the short-term? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by taking a shit in the urinal
POST: At my university there are these urinals that are shaped like toilet seats. I thought it would be funny to take a shit in one of them, but I had to be fast because I didn't want someone to walk in on me. So I pulled down my trousers and squeezed really hard, the first bomb dropped , but suddenly some water came up and splashed my butt. I kind of jumped, and immediately after I dropped another one on accident right in my underwear. Unfortunately, these were like melted snickers so it stained them, but thankfully not my trousers.
I had to dispose of them, so I quickly removed them, but suddenly I heard the door start to open. Thankfully the entry way to the bathroom is a hallway that is like 2 90* angles. so it bought my a few seconds and I quickly jumped into a stall. Shit, I left my britches outside on the floor though, and there was a turd in the urinal. I heard the guy laugh and then he left without even taking a piss. He came back with a couple other guys and they were cracking up, but I was still in the stall pretending to make some noise. Once they left I finished wiping my ass and left. I had no underwear for the rest of the day which was very uncomfortable, but thankfully no one caught me. Overall I would consider the mission a success.
TL;DR: | I took a shit in a urinal at my university, and ended up shitting myself, which then turned into a really clutch situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (27f) fiancé (25m) of over 2 years had a huge blowup fight today.
POST: So my fiancé works in some dangerous heavy equipment, and I expressed my worry for him because I was with him at work. He was fine at first, pointed out I never worry adequately about myself. I responded I'm usually more worried about other people and he exploded. Screamed at me I should worry about myself, not other people, he hates the way I constantly make huge sacrifices so other people (him included) could have minor indulgences. Basically it was the way I was raised- I felt horrible, and I let him know I'm trying to get better with my "martyr complex". That having been said, can anyone give me advice to get me over my martyr complex?
TL;DR: | Fiancé got furious at me today because I don't worry about myself enough. Would like to be more healthy in my life choices, would like advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [25m] would like to date a [24F] with a history of cheating.
POST: I met Carry through a social circle.We hanged out with our mutual friends and got to know each other. Leo, my good friend told me that she was interested in me but warned me of her history.
He told me she cheated on her ex boyfriend and the boyfriend before that. Once Leo told me that I slowly stopped communicating with Carry. After about a month or so of avoiding her she confronted me and asked me out for drinks.
That same night we went out. Not too long into the evening she asked me why I had been avoiding her. I told her I had been a bit busy lately. She laughed and said, "I know Leo told you". I laughed and told her that was indeed the actual reason. She told me that it was true. I didn't want to ask why didn't really know what to say. There was an awkward silence for a while. I finished my drink and she did as well. We continued the night as if that conversation had not happened. Everything went well after that. One of the better dates I've had in a while.
When I dropped her off she told me that it was up to me if I wanted to keep seeing her. "You have my number I haven't changed it since I got it in High School" I hugged her and thanked her for coming out.
She is a smart girl. Has a great sense of humor. She is very interested in me. I just don't know if I would like to date someone with a history of cheating. I personally do not believe in the old saying once a cheater always a cheater but I would like reddits input.
TL;DR: | Friend warned me about a girl I'm interested in to have a history of cheating on her boyfriends. Should I give it a shot? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Holiday stress getting you down?
POST: So the holidays can be an awful time. Frankly, this year bodes to be the worst so far. This past Wednesday, my fiance's mother passed away after a 4 year fight with leukemia. Since my estrangement from my own family, she stepped in and became not only a great friend, but more of a mother to me than my own had ever been.
She watched and encouraged me as I started to count calories and went from 175 lb to 140 lbs. As she got sicker, she still pushed for me to keep running and eating right, "Because some one needs to stay health and take care of the family!".
The week she passed, just the day before, I pitched to my local paper an article about a local race I was participating in. The paper accepted, and I was excited. She was in the hospital the next day when I told her, and after a brief bit of excitement for me, was very tired. Later that night, she passed away.
Frankly, at that point, I wanted to scrap the whole project. I was pretty sure the paper would understand. But I felt like I was letting her down. My mother-in-law was not a woman who wanted people to mourn and give up on life, and as she battled leukemia over the years, she buoyed up so many people with her constant positive outlook.
So that's what I'm trying to focus on this holiday season. The legacy of a woman who taught me to give life my all, and that I can do whatever I set my mind to do.
Even losing those last damn 15 lbs is possible :P
So if you're interested, I'm linking the article I wrote. Its not much, but I wrote it while surrounded by my fiance's family, and all the good feelings that is generated by a crowd of people who loved an amazing woman.
TL;DR: | I love my future mother-in-law and she passed away this week. The holidays may turn out okay in spite of everything awful life throws at us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20m) have a crush on a coworker (21f), and I know she's not into me and just wants to be friends. Advice?
POST: I'm terrible with girls, as a preface. I've only ever had one girlfriend, and I wasn't the best boyfriend in the process. And I have a tendency to fall for any girl who's nice to me at all.
I have a crush on a coworker, and I don't have the courage to tell her. She's not into relationships, more into casual hookups. I fell for her because of my own stupidity. I know that she most likely doesn't view me in the same way I do her.
I haven't told her, because I feel like work will be too awkward afterwards. And I'd really like to be friends, if nothing else. So if I tell her, I'm scared of denial, work being awkward, and no longer even being friends.
And, if it goes well, I'm worried I won't be a good enough guy for her. Even if it's not her, I'm still scared of letting my SO down and not being good enough.
I have no idea what to do. I just want advice! D:
TL;DR: | I'm an idiot and fell for a girl who was nice to me, and now I don't know how to proceed. And I'm terrible with girls, so I have no idea what I'm doing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: It's been 3 weeks no contact, she contacted me on facebook, how do I know what her intentions are?
POST: She (f/26) and I (m/34) were together for 6 years no breaks. She became distant and non committal to anything I had to say so I broke up with her. It wasn't the most amicable split, but hardly the worst I've been in.
So she took most of her stuff, and then we haven't spoken, texted, fb, nothing for three weeks.
Today I made a simple mistake at work and injured myself a little bit, nothing too serious but a gash near your eye looks way worse than it is. So I took a picture and put it on facebook so I could make fun of myself and let some people have some fun too at my expense.
She see's it and suddenly she's messaging me like nothing ever happened, "omg what happened" "are you ok?" etc. I get it, we were together for a long time and she cares about me in some capacity. But there wasn't a peep out of her for so long, why now? and does it mean more than I think it does?
I feel like I shouldn't have responded, but I miss her, so I let her know I was alright and everything was fine. I tried not to be so eager but I couldn't resist. Every little answer I gave or question I asked was even more quickly responded to. I asked about the dog we got together and that was mostly it on my end.
She came back with "can I come over, and see fatso(my cat) and get some things I left there. She doesn't have anything here except maybe some chapstick and random small things. She was also trying to be super helpful, which is most confusing. Is she just trying to mess with my head?
TL;DR: | I think she's playing with my mind, does anyone know how to handle this situation? Is she trying to test my confidence and willingness to get back together or am I just over analyzing |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm (23/m) fed up with her (19/f) parents
POST: I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 1 year and her parents never liked me. 'You use her, treat her badly, you act like an old guy, you guy's won't make it .. yadda yadda yadda'. This has been going on for a year. I have told my girlfriend and her parents that I dislike the way they treat me. But it doesn't change a thing. I don't feel like keeping calm anymore. I don't want to come over at her house anymore. I am done.
Is that reasonable of me? Or will it push my girlfriend away? (she agrees with me that her parents behavior is very wrong) Or do I need to suck it up?
TL;DR: | Her parents treat me like crap and I am fed up with it. I don't want to see them again. I want an apologie. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(24ftm) girlfriend(19f) broke up with me, I feel broken.
POST: My girlfriend just broke up with me, I feel broken inside.
We've been together for a year, but been friends for about four.
I began to transition into a male the last few months and she was the most supportive person to me, always have been even when we were just friends.
However we live in two different countries, so how we began to talk was via facebook... Her family knows of me, but not as her boyfriend.
A few days ago I noticed that she wasnt very affectionate, today she told me that her family had started to figure things out between us and because of her safety we needed to take a break from the relationship.
I feel horrible, Im trying to tell her i cant live without her but she only says 'over time things can get better but please dont make me feel guilty, call me selfish but right now I need to be safe and not thrown out.'
What should I do??
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up with me to keep safe, so her family wont throw her out. I feel like im going to die. What should I do.? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25M) want to know if the ache that comes with change ever stops, and how.
POST: In essence, I have a great deal of difficulty connecting to others, something that I am lucky enough to have a best friend that understands this, a family that understands this, and I am (admittedly) therapy for. In particular, I have difficulty processing loss (major self-esteem issues).
My best friend moved cross-country, and my other friendships have much fallen apart, even as I put effort into them, due to me moving an hour away in-state.
I want to learn how to stop the reflexive feeling of that thought, you know, when something happens and you say "Hey, I should tell XYZ this....wait...they're busy. Nevermind." I want to know how, and when, letting go of that starts, before I have to manually reassert my feelings logically (ie reminders: "They're busy, they moved, etc etc").
Thanks, Reddit.
TL;DR: | I have a problem where almost everything reminds me of friends who are busy and geographically kind of tough to keep in touch with (by no fault of their own). I want to know how to stop that emotional reflex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How to evict bad tenants? Any privacy issues for audio/video recording for evidence?
POST: I live in an apartment building in Ontario, Canada. Our neighbours across the hall are the unscrupulous type. Questionable people entering and leaving, constantly yelling, door slamming, disturbances in the late night/early morning, constantly stealing electricity by plugging an extension cord in the hallway, etc.
Some side information: The tenant use to have a dog and a child. I use to hear the dog whelping sometimes, almost like it was getting beat, but I couldn't see anything since it was behind closed doors. Someone reported an animal abandonment to the Ontario SPCA when the dog was constantly barking inside her apartment and while she was away for a couple days. Seemed like nobody was taking care of the dog. The dog is no longer there. I've also heard from other building tenants that the tenants daughter is being taken care of by a relative now.
This has been going on for months. The landlords hands seem to be tied. Apparently the tenants "guests" can't be kicked off the property unless they cause building damage or caught doing criminal activity. Somehow she is paying rent, but I would imagine barely if she can't pay for electricity since she is resorting to stealing it. The cops are being called quite often but it seems they can't do anything unless they catch her in the act.
Our building does have security cameras on each floor, but conveniently our apartment, and our neighbours apartment are just outside the camera vision so she can't catch her on camera.
Everybody on my floor is frustrated. My landlord is frustrated. And it seems nothing can be done unless we have definitive proof. I was contemplating that my roommates and I (3 of us total) enter the hallway when she has the altercations in the night so we can be eye witnesses to the situation but it would probably be a bad idea and unsafe. I was wondering if we could setup a webcam to lookout the peephole and have audio recordings. At least that way we have something to present to the police without endangering ourselves. Though I'm unsure about privacy laws so I'm even hesitant to do that.
Just looking for advice on how to solve this situation or give my landlord a way to evict them.
TL;DR: | Apartment neighbours are scum of the earth but the cops can't do anything without definitive proof. Looking for any kind of help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How do I (18M) abandon feelings for someone (18F)?
POST: Some people might call this "the friendzone" but whatever. We were best friends for years, we dated for four months, I still haven't gotten over it properly, she's actually now got a boyfriend and unlike our relationship, they've actually fucked. We're still best friends now.
I've had relationships since then, but even though I've even had sex with one of those girls, I just can't stop going back to her. She still wants to be best friends and to be honest, I do too. But now whenever I think about her and her new boyfriend I just get so pissed off and angry and sad and I even hit myself at times because I feel like such a total failure about it etc.
TL;DR: | how do I abandon feelings for someone after crushing on them for years? Going off to uni tomorrow and need to get it out of the way now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [18/m] and my girlfriend [18/f] of 3.5 years think we need to break up, but do not know how.
POST: I'll start off with some background. My girlfriend and I have been dating since freshman year of high school, and we are each others first real relationship. We are extremely close and have shared many experiences together. We never really fight, we are extremely open and honest and have great communication were anything can be said. We are great together and she is more than I could ever ask for.
The problem is though that now that we are high school seniors and soon going to college we do not know what to do. We are both going to different universities, and we have discussed that maybe it is best to be single when we start college(We discussed this a long time ago and kinda accepted it as what needs to happen). The only problem is that when we discuss particulars about the situation we end up having a long sad conversation full of different scenarios and options which always ends up with us pushing it off and agreeing to deal with it when it is closer. This has happened three times already.
We both agree that we want to go into the new environment of college without anything holding us back, but we both cant fathom how we are going to break up, how to do it, or how to deal with it. On top of that we are not sure if we should be friends afterwards, or how to handle that. What do we do? Has anyone been in a similar situation? We want what is best for each other, but do not know how to achieve it.
Thanks for any advice that you can provide.
TL;DR: | Couple with no problems in love, but think they should break up before college, but have no clue how to do it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend of 3 months [F23] still texts "I love you" to ex-boyfriend, I [M22] don't know what to do
POST: Really confused right now and need to get some outside opinions. My girlfriend left her phone unlocked with her messages up, I picked up her phone thinking she was browsing reddit, and discovered her texts with her ex-boyfriend. She and her ex-boyfriend were very close and I know that they still talk frequently but what I read absolutely shocked me.
She was in the middle of typing "Hi pumkin, I made it home, I miss you and I love you <3". She tells him she loves him everyday, refers to him as her baby/boo and sends nicer text messages to him than I ever get. The worst one being him saying he wanted to be nibbling on her and her responding "I want you to be nibbling on me ;)".
I immediately confronted her about these texts and she told me that I was reading to far into it, that she had no physical relationship with her ex and that I was the only one she cared about. Things are stable right now, but I can't stop thinking about this. I care for her more than anything and the last thing I want to do is to leave her but I won't stand for being treated like this. What is the best way to move forward/salvage this (if any)? I am leaning towards asking her to simply stop referring to him as her baby/boo, I want her to be able to have a healthy relationship with her ex, but if I am truly the one she cares about now and am her baby/boo, then she has no right to be using these terms with her ex. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend still talks to her ex like her boyfriend, but says that I am her "one and only" and not to worry about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Wife(27F) of 3 years is pissed because she thinks I(27M) cheated. I don't believe I did.
POST: Work requires me to spend several days per week out of town in different places. Every night I usually call my ole' lady, "Erin", to talk about our day. Tuesday evening I went to dinner with some colleagues which is not unusual. There were three of us, "Mike"(28m), "Lisa"(26f) and myself, "Sir Terry IV". We've all known each other for about 2 years and see each other about 2 or 3 times a quarter. Before I go any further I want to make it clear that I don't believe alcohol was a factor. Only 1 beer was consumed, that was Mike's.
At some point during dinner Lisa and Mike got on the subject of oral sex skills; Mike had actually steered the conversation this way because of his crush on Lisa. Lisa was adamant that despite her limited number of sexual partners, she was still excellent at pleasing. Mike eventually challenged Lisa to demonstrate her abilities on him. Lisa flatout and sternly refused Mike's invitation, but added "...I'd definitely show "Sir Terry IV"! Stunned and in an effort to re-lighten the mood after that rejection, I said "That would sound great if I was single, but you can have at it on my thumb". Lisa immediately grabs my thumb and starts exhibiting her fellatio skills for a solid 20 seconds or so. We all laughed about it and that was it. The conversation eased back to more appropriate topics. That was the night. We all went to our own separate hotels/homes.
Upon telling Erin about this, she immediately lost her shit. She says allowing Lisa to suck on me that way was cheating. I contend that it wasn't. She says even though I told her about it immediately, she doesn't know she can trust my judgement because this incident opens up a slippery slope. She was cold last night and isn't responding to any of my messages at all today. This is very unlike her.
TL;DR: | I jokingly offered myself to be sucked on by an associate. Associate actually did it. Wife is less than thrilled. This sucks. Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have this friend that doesn't pay attention to anything but his own problems. How can I hint him to stop being so selfish?
POST: So my friend, let's call him "Harry". Harry and I have been friends for years. He recently met this girl, let's call her "Shannon". So Shannon goes out with alot of people, and Harry has had his eye on her for quite a while. Ever since he met her, she's all he talks about. If somebody mentions their dog dieing to him, he just changes the subject and says something along the lines of "I can't stand seeing Shannon with anyone else, should I make a move?". Or if somebody has a birthday coming up, he'll say something like "Cool", then automatically change the subject to Shannon again. Point is, he wasn't like this before he met her, and its really starting to tick us off. How can I hint to him that he's being selfish?
TL;DR: | Friend met this girl and she's all he talks about. He doesn't care about anyone else's problems but we're supposed to care about his. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can we set goals and achieve a state of flow?
POST: I too am a former DOTA 1 addict. I have found out the main reason for my addiction was the constant challenge the game provided me due to playing with different people all over the world. I do set goals but they are not any life changing ones, my question is how do i set a GOAL each and every day of my life so that these goals are challenging enough (like DOTA i.e, do something so that i am at FLOW) as well as makes me want to work on my goals rather than procrastinate? It would be nice to get an answer.
TL;DR: | How do i set goals which are challenging so that i am in an almost constant state of flow, so that i can wake every morning for the rest of my life with excitement? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit. What's your favorite drinking story?
POST: Once upon a time I was at my second really big college party, underage and drinking shitty beer. I heard that the cops were there, so I headed off to the basement. Set my drink down, walked away, and stood in the back, nervous. The music stopped. I expected this. The lights turned out. I didn't expect this.
Suddenly, I see a flashlight bobbing down the stairs. Now I'm thinking how college hasn't even started yet (I'm at band camp) and I'm going to be arrested. The lights turn on, and there's a cop in uniform, yelling that he needs to see everyone's ID's. People start yelling, "Fuck the police!" I shrink back, thinking that you don't say that to those people.
The crowd rushes forward, and I was certain they were going to kill him. But then, I hear "CHUG CHUG CHUG." I stood on my tiptoes and watched the cop shotgun a beer. The fuck?
Turns out it was a buddy of the host's who works as a security guard.
TL;DR: | A cop busted a party, I thought I was going to die, turns out he was just a guy who worked as a security guard and wanted to pull a prank. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Been on 2 dates but no physical escalation. Is this bad? Going on a third. What should I do?
POST: Met this girl on okcupid and went on a date. It wasn't bad but wasn't good, just kind of generic and bland. She agreed to a second date but I was still unsure of how I felt about her. Second date comes around and we hit it off better than our first and I'm starting to like her more.
However, after our second date, I've still had no physical escalation. No holding hands, kissing, or even hugs. We were walking close to each other and I probably should've held her hand but I didn't. Either way, she agreed to a third date so she must still be interested. We're going to see a play so should I put my arms around her while we're sitting down? Maybe kiss her before we leave for home? Definitely a hug though right?
TL;DR: | 2 dates with a girl so far and we hit it off pretty good on the 2nd date but I've had no physical escalation of any kind. Going on a third date so what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28F] have just started a new relationship with [26M], he definitely "wants" me but does not constantly act sexually towards me as past boyfriends have - is this OK?
POST: New boy I've been seeing and everything is great. He is a little shy and I've had to do a bit of initiating but that's all fine. I'm one to take things slow anyway both emotionally and sexually (I don't sleep with someone until I'm completely comfortable, no definitive timeline but its usually somewhere between 4-8 weeks of spending time together, messing around in other ways etc).
He is definitely attracted to me as I am, of course, to him... but in all my relationships in the past I've had to fight men off in these early pre-sex stages, literally having to forcibly extract myself from them sometimes, I'm used to always being sort of "accosted", unable to walk to the bathroom in my underwear without them grabbing me etc. Pretty standard stuff, I guess at least with my 3 boyfriends I've had in the past (all have been somewhat long term).
Anyway so as I said, new man is definitely keen but doesn't smother me all the time, and doesn't push me for sex so I don't have to say no a million times and almost fight him off, and in a way it's actually really nice! You can almost say it's exactly what I've always wanted (so much less exhausting) but I'm also vaguely wondering if this means he either 1) has a lowish sex drive 2) is maybe a bit indifferent towards me 3) feels self conscious or inexperienced (I don't know about his past experience, we don't talk about that stuff much).....
I know everyone is different but does this raise any red flags with anyone, especially the men out there? I'm just used to almost ridiculous gushing and ass-grabbing and he doesn't do that. That said, there's also no doubt he is into me, I'm just not sure how to read his 'sexual side'.
TL;DR: | Is it weird if the new guy I'm seeing isn't physically all over me *all the time* whilst we're in the pre-sex phase (other boyfriends have been in the past, so this is different for me)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (24/f) keep feeling like his (30/m) maid but our income differences make me feel obligated.
POST: Recently moved across the state with my bf for his school. I transferred jobs, but currently not working many hours. He's taking grad classes and working part time on the weekends and gets some pay from school. He's making more than me and paying all the bills except my gas and food.
I'm home more than him and usually end up spending my days cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, then going into work for a couple hours. My hours are slowly picking up some, but I'm still doing all the chores at home. I've tried making it easier on me by cooking more meals in bulk and eating left overs on my longer days. He has offered to help clean up the kitchen but any time he does, it turns into him getting mad or coming to me and saying he doesn't know where to put things or what to do with left overs. Its just less of a deal if I do it all because then he won't get into a grumpy mood and be pissy the rest of the night. I can't even get him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper or clean his cat's litter box. But I continually feel obligated that I have to do all this because he's paying the bills. I haven't really sat down to talk to him about how I'm feeling. I worry that I'm being too pushy and this is how things are going to be balanced out.
TL;DR: | Bf not doing any chores around the house but I feel obligated to do them all because of his paying all the bills. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Rent Apt or buy Fix Up House?
POST: My wife and I are in a tough debate right now and we need some advice on what to do. We want to get our own place soon, since there is now three in our family, and we are looking at either a decent sized apartment or a old cheap house that we would need to do a lot of repairs and renovation to.
We have a contract for a place to rent that is 950 square feet 625 a month we pay water, sewage, and electricity. It includes washer/dryer, dish washer, electric stove, and microwave all relatively new. We would have no yard and couldn't keep our cat, but we would have no major repairs and if anything breaks the landlord will fix it. We would have to turn in the contract soon to reserve the apartment.
On the other hand her parents are willing to put a down payment on a $52,000 house that needs a lot of work. We don't know exact state of the house but we drove by today and it looks like it has old wood siding with a few holes in the siding and the foundation looks like it may have a few cracks and the support beams in the basement are wooden and may have some wood rot. It needs a lot of work, but our monthly payments would be around $300 a month we would have a huge yard and be able to keep our cat and eventually get a dog, but we would have to buy all appliances except microwave, plus I am not to fond of the town it is in, just because it's super small and in the middle of no where but it's 10 min closer to my work. We would also have to stay where we are currently living for a few more months. I am also not very good at DIY, I have a habit of measuring wrong or cutting it then measuring it.
TL;DR: | We are looking at a House to fix up, but has a lot of drawbacks but would be cheap, or an apartment that is a decent size but wouldn't be able to customize it at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Family issues with weight. What's it like to lose a lot of weight as an older person?
POST: My parents are in their late 50s and obese. Everyone in my family (I have two siblings) has been obese at some point in their life but save for my older sister and I everyone else still is. I didn't realize how big my parents' weight problem was until they came to visit. My dad lost over 50lbs but then gained it back, so I can understand he's probably sad and frustrated about it. I know for sure he doesn't like the way he looks.
But this vacation has been horrible fitness-wise. My dad's weight is really slowing him down. Stairs, hills, anything are hard for him. We'll walk maybe 15 minutes and then he'll want a cab (we could take the train, but that's too much standing and transferring for either of my parents) and he always wants to get a meal or a snack after we do a minimal amount of walking and we have to or else he gets very grumpy and mean. Food really is like a drug/mood stabilizer for him. I never realized how sedentary my life was at home until they came here. When I try to get my parents to walk they fuss at me. We walked only 34 minutes yesterday and despite the fact that they both say they exercise that was apparently too much. Still, my dad keeps asking if he looks like he's lost weight. He kind of does, but only because I've been pushing them to walk. I told him he needs to push himself and he got upset. He raises his voice at me when I suggest we walk. I also really resent both my parents right now because they criticized my body constantly when I grew up but when I try to encourage them nicely I'm the enemy.
My dad's almost 60 and obese so I understand it's harder for him. What can I do to help him stay fit while also being considerate of his limitations? 2,000 steps a day is hardly enough for anyone I think.
TL;DR: | My parents are obese and on vacation with me. They want to lose weight but their age+weight makes it hard. How can I help them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] never really dated, and want to be exclusive with [28 M] I've been seeing.
POST: I met this guy on OKC and started seeing him a few weeks ago and we really hit it off. We hang out pretty often, go to movies, go out for drinks, he even invited me to join him and his friends volleyball league. So we've gotten really close and I'd like to be exclusive.
I've never really dated someone before so this is all very new to me. Is it too soon to be exclusive? Should I be patient and hold off for him to ask me? Should I go ahead and tell him I'd like to be exclusive? I'm afraid if I do it will scare him off.
The other thing is, he still goes on OKC. Now, we aren't exclusive so it doesn't matter. Sometimes I think, I can still look around and meet people because you never know. But every time I go on I feel terrible. I don't want to look for other guys I really like him I have never felt this way before... I don't want to be too clingy and I really just have no idea what to do.
TL;DR: | starting seeing a guy from OKC and want to be exclusive but dont want to scare him off if I bring it up |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: My dog Pepper, is scared of everything.
POST: Hey guys,
I should begin by telling you that my dog (Nearly two now), is scared of a lot of things. No he wasn't brought to my home from a shelter or RSPCA or anything, we got him from a breeder. He is scared of things ranging from a broom, to his own bowl or even a basketball.
In my opinion, he is this scared because of an accident that happened last year. We have a deck out the front and sometimes we would tie Pepper with a leash, onto a coffee table (wasn't very smart). We have done this multi times before, but he suddenly sprinted away (not chasing anything) dragging the coffee table behind him. He was frightened, he wet himself and everything, and it seems, that since then he is scared of everything as mentioned above.
So pet lovers of Reddit, could I do anything to help him not be scared of things?
TL;DR: | Golden Retriever age of 2, scared of everything after an accident. How could I help him not be scared? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm drunk so let me tell you the story of me falling for my best friend
POST: So for starters, I am man. 20, overweight, really not all that special. My friend is girl. Same age, but cuter than a blue eyed kitten in a meadow. So we've been friends for 6 years now. She's dated a few of my friends and I've dated a few of hers. A while ago, she had feelings for me, but nowadays, I'm not sure. I didn't then, but over time I developed feelings for her. Get ready, reddit. I know this sentence has burned holes in your brains:
I just don't want to ruin our friendship.
I told myself that for weeks. I didn't ask her out because I just don't want to ruin our friendship.
Well that was a load of shit. 75% of the time, that's what us chickenshits say to excuse our timidness to ask a person out. The other 25% is genuine. I've come here to tell you today that both are wrong.
I asked her out. I said fuck it and did it. Guess what? She said no.
Well fuck, that sucks. Back to being friends. THAT'S HOW EASY IT WAS! We hang out just like we used to and we still have a fucking blast. You'd never know that she ever rejected me. Seriously, guys. It has no effect on your relationship if you do it properly. Just don't make it out to be a huge fucking deal - it's not.
TL;DR: | Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. That saved a chickenshit like me. I once was a bitch, but now I'm champ. Was blinded by pussyyyyy(-ness of myself) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex [20m] seems to want to reconnect [21f] after 6+ months of breaking up; not sure what to do.
POST: We dated for 1.5 years and broke up in October 2012. He (let's call him S) was the one who initiated the breakup, citing grades/med school as the main reason; said he needed to focus on school and work and getting into grad school.
Fast forward a few months, this kid (mutual friend of ours) asks to hang out with me, so we went out and grabbed drinks a couple weeks ago. He starts asking about my dating life (which has been nonexistent) and keeps repeating that S wasn't dating anyone. I was a bit weirded out so I changed the subject. Last night, the same kid messaged me on FB to ask me about my love life again.
This week, S started reaching out to me on his own volition, flirting on and off by bringing up some of our memories and inside jokes. He asked when I would return to the city (I'm currently out of the country for a little bit). And today, he (while claiming he was tipsy/drunk) admitted that he missed me and wanted to see me this coming Friday.
I still very much have feelings for him and love him, and would most definitely say yes if he asked to get back together. I don't want to overthink anything though, and I'm not quite sure what to expect. Any pointers, /r/relationships?
TL;DR: | ex wants to reconnect, mutual friend seems to be dropping hints, not quite sure what to expect/if I should hope for some sort of reunion or at least final resolution. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My best friend graduated from USC with a marketing degree, yet she still works retail. What can I do/say to help motivate her?
POST: My friend has been working the same job since high school and she is now a year out of college (USC Marshall School of Business). She works at a department store, walking around selling perfume. While theres absolutely nothing wrong with working a job like this, I feel like the fact that she invested $200,000 of her own money in a degree yet still chooses to work retail is a waste of her talent and money. I was hoping the good people of reddit could help me figure out something to say to her in order to get her motivated.
I want to do this in the most calm and loving way possible so that she does not go on the defensive, and so that she can truly see I'm just looking out for her because I know she can do better.
I know many of you might say "the job market is really tough right now, it's not her fault" but that shouldn't keep her from trying. Her problem isn't getting jobs, its applying for them, she just doesn't do it. Also, seeing as USC is considered to be one of the best networking schools on earth it doesn't seem ridiculous that she could contact someone for a little help.
TL;DR: | My best friend spent $200,000 on a college degree yet refuses to look for a better job than she had in high school |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the worst thing you've learned about your ex post-breakup?
POST: I guess I need to explain this one. My ex and I met in high school when I was a senior and she was a junior. We dated for a few months, lost our virginity to each other, fell in love, all that stuff. And everything seemed great . . . and then I went to college, and that was when the crazy shit started. She began to constantly accuse me of cheating on her. I don't know how many of you have had an ex accuse you of cheating on them, but it's not a fun feeling. Anyway, we made it through that and then this year she went off to college. Cut to two weeks later: she's been ignoring me for a week and finally texts me wanting to breakup. I'd been feeling things going downhill for a few months so I agreed. We broke up two weeks shy of our two year anniversary.
That was seven months ago. A lot has happened since then. I'm in a wonderful new relationship with perhaps the most understanding and sweetest girl I've ever met, and I've never been happier. But then last night I learned something. A friend of mine finally decided to tell me what my ex confided with her after she broke up with me. Apparently for that week she was ignoring me, my ex was cheating on me with some big black guy from her college's football team. Yep, me, the faithful boyfriend who loved her and cared for her, was tossed aside by a cheating two-faced whore.
I had no clue about this until last night, and it really clears up a lot of the questions I had about the breakup, but do you guys know what makes me feel truly sick to my stomach about this? Apparently, after cheating on me, she felt no guilt shame or remorse. Two years of a loving relationship and she throws it aside just like that. It disgusts me.
TL;DR: | ex broke up with me, learned 7 months later is was because she cheated on me, bitch didn't feel any shame for what she did after cheating. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19 M] Girlfriend [18 F] Of Two Months Had an "Early Period" . . .
POST: Hi everyone,
Not quite sure if this is where to post this, but I'm terrified right now. My girlfriend told me before I left school (we're commuters at a local university) that she had an early period and she was bummed since we couldn't have sex tonight on my birthday. She was upset because she was embarrassed, but I'm upset because I'm worried it might not have been a period.
We were both virgins until last week. We had sex Thursday night, but we stopped before I ejaculated because it became too painful for her. However, she didn't bleed very much, if at all (she wasn't quite clear about that part). Saturday night we had sex again, and it was great for both of us. Then Sunday we spent much of the day together and wound up having sex four times. Each time we used a condom, but she's not on the pill (she couldn't get an appointment with her doctor until June, and she didn't want to wait that long for sex).
After she told me she had gotten an early period (far too early; I don't think she'd be due to have it for another two weeks, maybe two and a half), I immediately looked it up. I saw that sometimes implantation bleeding is mistaken for a period, and ever since I haven't been able to settle myself down. Now, it says that implantation bleeding normally starts 6-12 days after sex, not between 2-5 days. So that makes me feel slightly better, but I'm still worried. Also, my girlfriend said that she just realized her periods have been slightly irregular over these last few months, and I also read that some women notice a change in their cycles after having sex for the first time. I'm trying to stay calm, but I'm not gonna lie, I'm terrified. If anyone can give me advice, or put my mind at ease that'd be great— or if anyone thinks she's actually pregnant, then tell it to me straight I guess.
Thanks for any help guys. Have a good one.
TL;DR: | Not sure if my girlfriend's early period is actually her period or possibly an early sign of pregnancy (implantation bleeding) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22M] 5 years. Should we breakup, or am I making a huge mistake?
POST: Throwaway for obvious reasons. Sorry about the structure of this i know its awful.
I've been going out with her for a little over five years now. Were both each others first mates. We are quite close. We do not fight very often, but when we do a chain of fights start. Which is just fine, to me it sounds like my relationship is healthy. The problem is me.
I imagine what would happen if I were single VERY often. I do talk to other girls online, ive become very good friends with some of them. I am very curious about relationships with others, as I have never explored what is out there. Maybe I can find something better?
The only complaints I do have is that she is very short tempered with me like a teenager to a parent.
This girl is absolutely beautiful, she is great. I am in no way trying to put the blame on her. But i feel like I would have more opportunities to focus on better life choices with out her. I can move away and find a better career. I do not want to be held back, especially from meeting someone I actually see a future with.
I've been having odd feelings about the relationship for awhile now and they are on and off. But if im thinking like this I should do something about it? I dont want to be trapped in the relationship
Let me know what I should do thank you.
TL;DR: | 5 years, bored of a healthy relationship if i can call it that. Im curious about others and I feel like im being held back |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Changing the Lease?
POST: So I'm at a loss. I currently rent a townhouse from a private owner. Since he works primarily outside the US. He has a friend who manages the house and is the direct contact for any issues I might have (we'll call him the Manager).
A few days ago, the Manager emailed me saying that I need to switch the electricity account to my name since he got the bill. He requested that I send him a check for the amount. In the lease, it is stated that all utilities are included (HOA takes care of the water, and Landlord is in charge of Electricity).
I replied back with a copy of the signed lease stating that it was included. The Manager then sent that to the agent they hired to help rent the house, and the landlord. The agent then replied back saying it was a mistake and she would revise and send an addendum to the lease.
I have read over the lease and it doesn't state anywhere that changes can be made if needed. Therefore, is the agent who listed and was in charge of renting the property responsible? How can I go about this?
TL;DR: | agent who helped rent this property made a mistake and stated Electricity was included, everyone signed the lease. Electricity is NOT included and now she wants to revise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [New Jersey] Charging unreasonably, after the service, says too late for cancel, requests full money
POST: Hello,
I'm doing my internship in US and we work with a sponsor company. I needed to visit my country and need a document for my re-entry to US. I thought I lost it, and mailed my sponsor immediately. They said they'll ship it ASAP and they did. 1 hour after shipment, I realized I found the form, I mailed them to cancel. Instead, they sent me an invoice and said too late to cancel now.
Now they're charging me $100 for one page document, which was not sent with all necessary documents and arrived too late for me to use. When I say I couldn't even use the document and it was not full, they said they did what I asked for and even though I've got the service without the payment, I need to pay now.
100$ for a document which I couldn't even use seems fairly expensive to me. Do I have any leverage here?
Thanks.
TL;DR: | I've asked for paperwork and cancelled 1 hour after they ship it. I couldn't use it because it wasn't all documents I needed and arrived too late. Now, after the service they charge me $100. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of 4 years, wondering whether I just have "grass is always greener" syndrome or my complaints are valid
POST: We live together, have been through a lot in the course of our relationship, and generally get along. We rarely argue over anything. Lately I think about breaking up every day, but I don't want to make a really stupid mistake.
The problems:
I put alot of time and thought into gifts (for his birthday, our anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc.). He's more of a "buy something that I'd want and hope she likes it" sort of person, which is usually fine. But he wants to be an artist and hasn't once made me a piece of art for a gift, which I do for him all the time. This year he didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day and spent the morning bitching about how stupid it is. Yeah, it's a dumb commercial holiday, and I'm embarrassed that I bothered to write him a poem and get him something nice.
We do nice things for each other on a fairly regular basis, and I don't feel like he's stingy. He just has no passion really, about anything. More like lukewarm interests. If I try to talk about something I find interesting, he almost always interrupts me with some sort of stupid joke about what I just said and then I feel embarrassed for being so excited. Many of our conversations revolve around complaining, and sometimes I get tired of hearing about how resentful he is when people want to hang out with him, or assign responsibilities to him because he seems like the best person for the job. I wish other people found me personable enough to want to be around that much, but I don't complain about being lonely.
I'm not under any illusions that being with someone else would be better. I'm no amazing catch myself and wouldn't want to even think about dating again anytime soon. But I don't know if I'm deluding myself thinking being alone will be any better, and I know he'll be extremely upset about breaking up. I don't even know how to start the conversation, and I don't know what to say if he asks me why. Should I just break it off with him and move out? How should I approach this?
TL;DR: | Is "he lacks passion in life" a good enough reason to leave someone, and how do you go about breaking up when you live together and still care about the other person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 F] have been seeing this guy [24 M] for about a month, I am still in love with my ex [20 M] who I broke up with six months ago.
POST: I haven't done anything that even remotely resembles emotional or physical cheating. However, I was on Facebook today and I saw pictures of my ex with other girls and I just got so sad.
Every now and then my ex calls, and we talk because we had an amicable break up and I still care about him.
My current boyfriend knows that I'm still in contact with my ex, but doesn't know that I still have feelings for him.
Is this okay? Is this normal? Should I not date anyone else till I'm completely over my ex? Will these feelings gradually fade as I start to fall for my current boyfriend more and more?
TL;DR: | I'm dating a new guy, I still have feelings for my ex. Should I break up with him until I'm over my ex, or is it okay to keep seeing him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: About a year ago I got out of a 3 year long long abusive relationship and I've been thinking about contacting my ex boyfriends mom to tell her what happend...
POST: My ex was severely emotionally and physically abusive because of some major anger problems that he has. In the end I left him because I had just gone through 2 miscarriages one right after the other and decided to buy a puppy to try and cope. At this point I didn't really know the severity of my situation as I had been very psychologically fucked up by this time. Well, he ended up hitting my puppy just a few weeks after I brought him home and he broke his leg. So needless to say, I left. My puppy is totally fine now and recovered very well. Hes my baby and my little savior. I want to message his mom and tell her everything. I even have screenshots of mine and his Facebook conversations about 6 months after we broke up and I called him out for what he did and he came back and blamed me for the abuse. Its not him directly admitting it, but he wasn't denying it either. I am thinking about sending screenshots of those to her. But I'm scared about how it might back fire. I dont think he'll come after me because he doesn't know where I am and I live in a house full of male friends that would not hesitate to protect me from him. But I am affraid he'll call and harrass me over it. And, as my current boyfriend pointed out, other than the messages and his statements to animal control (over what he did to my dog) I have very little proof, and he could come after me for deframation of character. Any lawers out there know if he can press charges against me for telling his mom what happened? I want to tell her because I knew her well and I think she will encourage him to get helo. And also because it hurts me that I went through that and he never faced any consequences.
TL;DR: | If I tell my ex boyfriends mom about how he abused me for 3 years, and I have very little written proof (some but not much), can he charge me with deframation of character? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Landlord repeatedly (unintentionally) messing up my training.
POST: Our apartment is next to our complex's management office and the landlord is always outside taking breaks, smoking or whatnot. He's a nice guy and is completely in love with our puppy. His Akita passed away not too long ago and he gave us some toys of hers.
That said... he makes things really difficult sometimes and I don't know how to ask him to cut it out. We take her out to use the bathroom and he wants to play with her. I want her to learn to pee before playing, but he thinks I'm mean for not letting her play. Always saying "she's just a puppy, man," every time I do something he doesn't agree with. Kaya likes to eat mulch (not just chew, she will sit there for 10 mins or more munching if we let her), so we try to get her to stop... landlord uses mulch to get her to come close and play with him. I've gone as far as to lie and say "The vet says she shouldn't eat any more mulch" and he still does it.
Today he really got on my nerves because he wanted to give her treats. We give her tiny training treats, he brought out full sized dog biscuits and gave her FOUR. She's 3 months old. We were trying to train her to walk nicely on a loose leash afterwards and, surprise surprise, she had no interest in treats because her stomach was full. He promised her he'd bring her some more because he has so many left from his other dog. I'm trying extremely hard to keep her on the trim side since I don't want to cause any unnecessary increased risk for growth or hip problems.
TL;DR: | Landlord is nice but messing with how I want my dog to be, and he's our landlord so I don't know how much I can say without getting on his bad side. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by using slow acting sinus medication
POST: Today, within this very hour (not usual for TIFU), I went to work not being able to smell anything. I've had sinus problems all my life and mild bronchitis so I take Tylenol Allergy & Sinus in the mornings, but it doesn't kick in for about an hour or so.
Well, today like any other day I pull a shirt from my hamper (I'm too lazy to hang or fold clothes up) quickly put it on and hurry my ass to work as I was running behind. I couldn't smell anything this morning and literally took my pills right as I was getting in the car.
Coworkers thought something had died in my office. Literally to the point that they brought a car air freshener in here and hung it off the door handle. No one had any clue it was my shirt. I went outside to check one of our production departments the wind caught just right and my nose opened like Moses parted the waters. As soon as that wind hit my nose I thought a fucking ferret had jumped up onto my shoulder and pissed clear down my back. It literally smelled like a ferret. Quickly noticing my mistake, I ran out to my car to grab another shirt only to find that the only shirt I had in my car was my lucky charms tshirt that had been sitting in my trunk for god knows how long. So now I smell like moldy trunk rather than ferret piss.
TL;DR: | woke up late, quickly grabbed shirt and took medication in the car only to find out my hamper had been pissed on by my Shih-Tzu puppy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I know this isn't the place for medical issues, but I really need some advice right now.
POST: Hey Reddit. I know that this isn't the place for medical consultations, but I just don't really know where else to go as I've already been to a doctor. So... I've had a migraine for the past week. I've had varying levels of pain, too. Most of the time, it's a constant 5.5 on the pain scale, with a throbbing pain. But last week, I had an "attack" sort of deal where the pain was a solid 10 and I had to go to the E.R. I felt better besides the dull 5.5 pain, but then Sunday night I had another attack. And then again on Tuesday, and two times today (Wednesday.) I've been to my doctor three times so far, and none of the medication has helped. I've tried the max. dosage of Maxalt (which is supposed to work for 70% of people), a round of Prednisone, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Aspirin, Butalbital, and some anti-inflammatory injection. Nothing has helped dull the pain or stop the attacks. When an attack comes on, it's worse than any pain I've ever known. It wakes me up at night and makes me cry and throw-up from the pain. I've already had a lumbar puncture and a CT scan, and everything appears normal. My GP says I just have a weird migraine, something he hasn't seen before. I'm only fifteen years old, and I have no history of migraines. I have no other health issues besides depression, insomnia, and sleepwalking. So I've come to you, my dear Reddit, have any of you had something like this before? Or even heard of something like this? Thank you all.
TL;DR: | Fifteen year old female with never-ending migraine and severe migraine attacks. No abnormalities in blood pressure, CT scan results, lumbar puncture results, etc. What's up with my brain?* |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Girl I briefly met on train had recent break up, how do I ask her out?
POST: I met this girl the other night and asked for her number. We didn't talk much because it was last minute on the train before her stop. She said she wasn't ready to start looking because of a very hard recent breakup.
I told her we should exchange numbers in the meantime and that I would call her in the future to see how she was doing. She obliged and gave me her number. Here's me hoping it's hers *fingers crossed.*
How long after getting the number should I call? What should I say? I was thinking of something along the lines of reminding her who I am, explaining to her how I can respect her situation and that if being patient is what it takes to have the opportunity to grab ice cream with her then I'm all for it. I'd end it with telling her ill call her in a couple weeks.. or a month?? - to see how she's doing. Or do I call, tell her the above but initiate the idea of a date in the next few days/weeks?
She seems like a great girl and I don't want to blow it!
TL;DR: | Asked girl for number. Hesitated because of recent breakup. Told her we should exchange numbers and I can call in the future. When should I call and what should I say? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: BREAKUP! Girlfriend [F/18] of four years [M/18], broke up with me and two weeks later is already seeing somebody. Do I fight for her?
POST: I [M/18] have been with the same girl [F/17] for 4 years or at least i was with the same girl for 4 years. We recently broke up because she was mad at the fact that my friends who are girls came to my house to watch movies because they were stoned to go home which in my opinion is something ridiculous to fight about nonetheless break up for. Anyways, it's been about two weeweeks and she is already seeing somebody! I fear that if I do nothing and just sit around things will start becoming more serious with this guy so I want to fight him but I don't know if she will be angry if I fight for her.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend [F/18] of four years [M/18], broke up with me and two weeks later is already seeing somebody. Do I fight for her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 F] don't think my boyfriend [23 M] of one year, likes me as much as I like him and it upsets me.
POST: I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and don't think he feels as strongly about me as I do about him. He likes me but I think I am much more into the relationship than he is. Nights when he chooses to do something besides hang out with me I feel broken and rejected, and hate feeling that way.
I was dating someone before meeting him but quickly realized he is what I am looking for and started dating him shortly after ending it with my ex.
I am afraid I did not give myself anytime to be on my own and that I am now too dependent on current BF, while he doesn't feel a need for me the way I do for him. I can't imagine what I would do without him and know he does have feelings for me.
Will things catch up or am I bound to always be disappointed and sad?
TL;DR: | Is it a problem that I like my boyfriend of one year more than he likes me or is this something that can even out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Future roommate (f/20) dating my (f/21) ex-friends with benefits (m/22) who hates me
POST: I've been a long-time lurker of /r/relationships and I knew you guys could help. I was friends with benefits with "AJ" almost a year ago, although I never had any intentions of dating him and made that very clear. He would still ask me to be his girlfriend and I repeatedly told him I did not want a a boyfriend, and remind him we were not in a monogamous relationship whenever he brought it up. He moved away to an internship last summer and that's when we ended our relationship. He asked me one final time to be his girlfriend and I again declined. He got very angry and thought all our time spent together was a waste.
Fast forward to January, I had to hear from someone else that my future roommate (we signed a lease in October) has started dating AJ. Meanwhile, AJ has been spreading rumors and making his distaste for me well known. Future roommate has actually told me I haven't been invited to certain events because AJ would be there. Three months ago both AJ and future roommate started using cocaine. (*Just a note, I already talked to a lawyer about the situation and she said it'd be no problem to kick her out of the lease if she was misbehaving and hard drugs are involved)
I was originally going to arrange a meet up with the both of them and try to talk and clear the air, but the more I think about it the angrier I am. I would never expect them to "ask permission" from me, but a friendly heads-up would have been nice. She also entered a relationship knowing her boyfriend hated her future roommate. I feel like the ball is in their court.
I guess my question is should I try to arrange a meet up to clear the air, should I just ignore it, or does anyone have another idea?
TL;DR: | Future roommate put me in a difficult situation, I'm looking for ideas to defuse the situation and hopefully have a great year. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by showing my apartment to a co-worker
POST: This takes place in a very small town of 24 streets. A nice little conservative town. As some of you know, little towns offer very little in the category of "clean" or "child ready " apartments or houses for rent. We happened to have a beautiful place, probably the best in town. All new updates, no weird holes in things, really nice land lord.
I was at work and a girl who was pregnant was talking about needing a new apartment. I was telling her how amazing ours was, and that our neighbors moved out. The apartment was a "side" apartment. So it was basically a small house, split down the middle with two identical sides. I too was also pregnant and really enthusiastic about her coming to see our awesome place after work.
So she did...
Everything in my house was in order, every thing looked nice. We went from the living room to the kitchen, the washer and dryer, the nursery, and walked down the hall to the bathroom.
I opened the door, with her, and sitting in the shower was 4 sex toys. A pink bumpy vibrating wand, a purple set of anal beads, a pink g-spot vibrator, and a clear 12 inch dildo. Just sitting there, on the counter in the shower.
She looks at me shocked, and I stutter, "uh, I guess my boyfriend took a shower before work.." Because whats more weird than finding girls toys in a girls shower? Her boyfriend shoving them up his ass before work.
She was so creeped out she wanted to leave. People at work started treating me differently. I'm sure she told every one. I quit shortly there after.
TL;DR: | I showed my house as a favor to a girl. My BF left 4 sex toys in the shower for all to see, including the 12 in dildo the men need to use here. People were weird with me after that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend[24M] says I[20F] don't "participate" when we have sex
POST: My bf and I are starting to get more sexual and today we decided we were going to have sex, however, he stopped mid-way after he lost is hard on and said he didn't want to anymore because he didn't feel like I was enjoying it; because I wasn't participating and was very quiet. I felt so bad because I certainly did want to have sex with him, I just felt a little nervous. I don't know what to do, because I am naturally a quiet person and am shy when it comes to all things sexual, and he has a lot more experience than I do. How can I show him I really want to have sex and to "participate" more, and be less quiet?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend doesn't think I enjoy sex, don't know how to show him I do because I am naturally very quiet and shy when it comes to sex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How open/honest are you with your SO about your sexual desires?
POST: 40 year old divorced male here. My ex wife and I had zero chemistry together and for the last 3 years of our marriage we would have sex about one every four MONTHS. It was a horrible and very boring existence. Our relationship was so screwed up I never felt the ability or even the urge to share my sexual desires with her. Fast forward to now and I'm with a very nice gf who is always willing to have sex whenever I want but I still find desire lacking on my end. I realize I'm the only common denominator here and it's my own fear of being completely upfront with my significant other that is stifling me.
When I look at porn I enjoy watching FF, group, MFM, FFM, shibari, and mutual masturbation videos and I find me wishing and fantasizing about all the stuff I've never done.
My gf (34) has hooked up with another girl about 10 years ago and also did a FFM once or twice but didn't seem keen on doing that with me and she says she got all her experimenting out of the way when she was younger.
In my marriage I kept my desires bottled up and find myself not sharing all my desires with my current gf. Almost seems like I'm walking down a similar path.
Are you completely upfront with your SO about all your sexual desires/fantasies?
TL;DR: | when married I was never satisfied sexually, now dating someone but still not completely open about my sexual fantasies and the importance of having certain experiences come to fruition. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Any ideas on my girl's sleep?
POST: Ok. We were so lucky and had a great sleeper. She was doing full, 11-hour nights at 4 months and has (usually) been a pretty good napper too. However. In the past few weeks or so (she is now 10 months old) she's been waking up at night. She doesn't really cry much, she just yells and talks to herself. I have tried waiting her out to see if she can go back to sleep on her own, but it's difficult because we live in a teeny tiny apartment and share a bedroom. I never get her out- I go to her, search for her pacifier in the dark, and put it back in her mouth. She immediately (for the most part) goes right back out. That's great... But why is she waking up like this and how can I get it to stop?
A little more info...
We co-slept up until about 5 months. She likes to flail around like a crazy person in her sleep and transitioned to her crib in our room without a problem. Waking up didn't start till a while later.
She does not do this spit-out-plug-and-need-it thing during naps.
I have made sure she's not cold, hot, hungry...
It could be teething, since she's really on that train full force, but for some reason I think it's not.
I think it has a lot to do with the damned plug. If she no longer had one at all, maybe she wouldn't wake up looking for it in the night. I did go plug-free for almost a whole week, but then caved one rough day and now she's more attached to it than ever. I hate that I ever gave her one in the first place, but hey... When you've got a colicky newborn, you'll do just about anything.
So. Any ideas? Should I ditch the plug?
TL;DR: | 10 month old used to sleep right through the night, but now wakes up 3-6 times a night. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I turned down acceptances to UCLA, University of Chicago, and UPenn to attend Foothill College(a community college) in hopes of transferring to Haas Business School(UC Berkeley). I'm afraid I made a huge mistake.
POST: Haas Business School has always been my dream school. My plan since freshman year of high school was to attend UC Berkeley and then attend Haas Business School. Unfortunately, UC Berkeley rejected me.
I was so dead set on Haas that I even turned down acceptances to other excellent schools. All of my high school friends are all leaving in Fall for Ivy League schools or other top universities and I am going to be stuck at home attending a community college.
I am not saying community college's are terrible in any way. I am just saying that attending a community college is so far from what I ever imagined what my college life would be like.
I'm not afraid about succeeding academically at Foothill College. I recently took both of the English and Math placement tests and received perfect scores on both tests. What I am afraid about is that I will stick out from the general crowd at Foothill College and will not be able to fit in.
Making friends in high school was never hard. I was popular, but the environment at my high school is very different from the environment at Foothill College. Perhaps my worries are typical for the recent high school graduate, but I would not know. I've spent my whole summer keeping these feelings to myself. I already know that the majority of my friends will just tell me to tough it out and that I did this to myself by turning down my other options. I did do this to myself, but if anybody has ever been in a similar situation, I would love to hear about their experiences.
Thanks.
TL;DR: | Turned down excellent schools and am going to be attending a community college. Afraid I will not be able to fit in at the community college. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16 F] just found out my boyfriend [16 M] is planning on cheating on me. He doesn't know I know.
POST: I'll try to keep this short but detailed. Just ask if you need to clarify anything.
How do I know this information?
My boyfriend and I share passwords (his idea). I *know* it's wrong of me, but I frequently check his Skype. I know he also goes through mine, but less frequently. He was talking to one of his male friends about this. These are mostly his words.
And another note, we are in a long-distance relationship and communicate mostly over Skype chat. We call and play games/talk every day. We have met and planned on meeting again this summer. We have been dating for over four months. We're young, I know... I tried to keep my distance, stay logical, and not get too attached. But the things he's said, and they way he acted made me trust him. I don't know what to do...
---
My boyfriend went camping this weekend with some family members. While there, he met this really attractive girl. They really hit it off, flirted with each other the whole time, and it's obvious they have some shared feelings. At the end of the trip, they exchange phone numbers and plan on playing games together back home. Boyfriend tells his male friend about his interest and how he wants to see how far he can get with her. The girl doesn't know I exist, so I can't blame her. At this point, I should mention that he's had "one night stands" (no sex, but kissing/fingering) in his previous two relationships.
The way he talks about this escapade... he's really excited to see how it plays out. He tells his friend that I deserve someone who's loyal... but that's not stopping him. It hurts knowing this, after everything he's said... all the promises and plans we told each other.
Now I'm stuck with information I shouldn't have. I don't know what to do... Of course I plan on ending it. I just can't bring it up to him without revealing how I know. My hope is that it'll slip out somehow.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend went camping and met a girl. They both developed feelings for each other. He wants to see how far he can get with her, while staying in a relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my coworker [21 F], feel as if I may be
POST: Alright, here's some background information about myself. I have a summer restaurant job that I've worked for the past couple years. It's a small staff and I work with the same three girls every night. We've all become pretty good friends and will go out for drinks after work at least once or twice a week.
Also, I'm recently single after coming out of a fairly serious relationship. I've been dating a little bit, playing around with Tinder, and generally not looking for anything too serious.
So, there's this one girl who I work with who has been very flirtatious lately. To the point where it has been commented on by other coworkers. We'll call her C. C will often stand very close to me, touch my arms and chest during conversation, joke about when I'm going to propose to her, ect. I find C to be very attractive, and definitely find myself reciprocating the behavior, but C has a long term boyfriend.
I've met her boyfriend a couple of times, and he seems nice enough. A little awkward and quiet when he's out with us, but I don't really know all that much about their relationship other than they've been dating for about 2 years. But, that's kind of besides the point
At this point, I'm kind of torn between a strong attraction to this girl, not being an asshole, and not fucking up the really good dynamic that we all have at work. Frankly, I don't really condone cheating, and probably would not do anything with this girl as long as she was still with her boyfriend. That being said, I'm not going to lie and say that I don't enjoy the flirtatious nature of our relationship. To be honest, she probably looks at it the same way, but I don't want to lead anybody on or do anything to mess up the friendships at work.
I guess I'm looking for an outside perspective on this. I'm just not totally sure how to proceed with the situation. Does this sound pretty harmless, or do I need to stop?
TL;DR: | Cute girl at work is flirty. Girl has boyfriend. Want to maintain friendship with her. Am I being an asshole? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24/F] with my fiancé [30M] of 8.5 years. He works away for 3 weeks at a time while I'm at home with our 2 sons.
POST: I have no good friends to talk to on a daily basis, so I talk to him every night, because even though he's at work, he's not working. He's mean though, like he won't talk to me when our kids are awake because he doesn't want to listen to them. He never and I mean never answers my texts and tonight he told me that what I text doesn't matter to him.
Sorry for trying to get you to talk to me. I don't want to end things but I want him to know that talking to him everyday is what's keeping me going. But he doesn't seem to care, when he's home he talks about how he can't wait to leave again. It hurts. Like he hates our children and/or me. How do I get him to realize that I need to talk to him about our kids and our life?
TL;DR: | SO doesn't seem to realize how important our nightly talks are and it's making me feel lonelier then if I was single. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 F] with my boyfriend [28 M] duration 8 years. He wants to borrow money and I'm not sure.
POST: So my boyfriend doesn't have money saved up, he earns a pretty good salary and overtime but isn't one to set aside funds. I on the other hand have been saving varying amounts monthly for basically the entirety of my working life. Between the ranges of 1k and 200 per month. I don't have as much as I'd want but I have built a pretty good back up fund. I earn monthly interest on this amount from my account. The more I have, and if I take no money out, I earn about a hundred dollars of interest a month.
I've broken into my money a few times for some purchases but not a dramatic amount.
My boyfriend wants to buy a new car for himself. Most likely something second hand, to the tune of about seven thousand. He wants to borrow this money from me. He needs the car for his future home business.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. In a way I feel obligated because we share expenses. He Co signed my car finance, which is withdrawn from our joint account. But we contribute the same amount to the account per month, meaning technically I pay for it. But since "we" bought my brand new car together, I'm sort of expected to help him back.
He never assisted me with the savings, it was always my own money. He in the past has purchased lemons of cars, and bores easily meaning I could fork out money and him decide he hates the car and sells it anyway. Or it becomes a huge expense trying to fix it.
I'm a little uneasy on it. What do I do? I feel either selfish or a little jibbed. If I withdraw that much money, I lose interest in my account for months, if not years to come. It could take me three years to replenish the amount again. It could take a long time to pay me back.
TL;DR: | My bf wants to borrow a large sum of money for a car, meaning a loss of bank interest for me. It will take a long time to get it back. Do I do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 F] have been with my boyfriend[19] for two years. His weight has always bothered me a little. I don't think he'll ever lose it. Is this important?
POST: When we started dating, my boyfriend was overweight. He's not huge, but probably around 190 and 5'11. He has a lot of belly fat and can't do one sit up (literally). I think his face is gorgeous and our relationship is loving and emotionally perfect. I know I probably sound like a jerk, but I'm skinny and work out and make some effort to try to eat healthily.
I've been trying to make an effort to get him active/eat healthy (telling him i'm at the gym or that i wanna diet...), but he's in college and handles two jobs and by the end of the day he's always exhausted and wants to play videogames/watch tv. He also has a steady diet of burritos and burgers (he's not really into veggies lol)
Sometimes I feel unattracted to him because of his body (if he wears a tighter shirt or has no clothes on), but I love him and his mind/personality and face so much. What do I do? This isn't worth a break up, right?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is overweight and I am in good shape. I've tried to get him to become in shape over the past two years but nothing works. Should I stop caring about his weight? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: I need help & advice! Traveling the Pacific North West, summer 2015.
POST: I would like to travel to Portland & Eugene Oregon, Seattle Washington, and Vancouver Canada before flying back home to Los Angeles this summer. (F/21)
I would like to spend a total of 8 days traveling:
*Day 1: Flying + Portland + sleep in portland
*Day 2: More portland exploring.
*Day 3:Wake early, drive or bus to Eugene. Spend day in Eugene, sleep there.
*Day 4: Wake in Eugene, bus/train to Seattle. Spend time in Seattle.
*Day 5: More Seattle, bus/train to Vancouver at night.
*Day 6: Vancouver
*Day 7: Vancouver
*Day 8 Vancouver in morning, and fly home.
>>WHAT I NEED HELP WITH:
>-Best ways to afford this. How can I travel cheap? Should I take trains instead? How do I find affordable lodging?
>-I'm just a starving student looking to explore on my little summer trip before the next semester and I want to be as cheap as possible while still remaining safe.
>-Is this realistic? I have never traveled alone before.
TL;DR: | I'm a 21 year old female who is traveling in the pacific n/w for 8 days this summer. How can I make this trip as affordable as possible? Any other advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20 F] boyfriend of 3 years [20 M] broke up with me because I wanted to move out.
POST: So I posted something similar to this a week or so ago, but now I just want advice on this one specific situation.
I currently live with my boyfriend and another guy in a 3 bedroom apartment. Recently, two of my girl friends have approached me about me moving in with them for the next school year. I've never really lived with a group of girls who I am close with (I do not have a good relationship with my sister), so I thought it'd be a lot of fun/a new experience to move in with them for the next one or two years. However, when I brought it up to my boyfriend, he absolutely did not like the idea.
I've tried to tell him why I wanted to move out, and he still thinks it's because I'm choosing them over him, and that I obviously do not enjoy living with him that much if I'm trying to leave him. He thinks that I don't care for how he feels, yet I don't think he's returning that favor. I seriously think that he's overreacting, but he really doesn't want to be with me if I'm going to be moving out. He says he's also going to feel uncomfortable living with a random person instead of me (which I understand, because that can be very awkward sometimes).
I wanted to compromise with him somehow, but he said there are no possible compromises in this situation and that if I left, we were over. Am I wrong for wanting to move out and get a different experience while I'm in college/still can? The thought of me "choosing them over him" just seems so silly because that's not happening at all. I mean, we have the rest of our lives to spend and live together.
TL;DR: | Currently attend same college as BF of 3 years, we're currently living in an apt together, I want to move out with some girl friends, he didn't like it and broke up with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: How to train my dog to ignore other dogs on our street?
POST: I live on a cul de sac, and multiple dog owners on my street play with their dogs off leash in their front yards or even in the street.
My 17 month GSD is only allowed off leash in my fenced in back yard. When she sees the other dogs on our street, be it when I'm walking her on leash or from the car, she starts barking and lunging. She typically ignores other dogs, or at least just looks and sniffs the air, when we're in other places.
I'm guessing this is territorial behavior? Or protection mode? I'd really like to walk her down the street--or even outside the front door--without any issues, and I don't think the other owners are going to stop letting their dogs off leash, as much as I'd like them to, so any training tips? We currently do back aways and getting her to focus on me, but that only works when the other dog doesn't zoom up on us, like one did yesterday. At least they both went into play bows, but when the other dog started running, my dog wanted to run after it and couldn't, very frustrating for both of us.
TL;DR: | Another "how do I handle unleashed dogs playing in my neighborhood and coming up to me and my leashed dog" post/rant. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: It would of been a year
POST: I (f/19) and my ex(m/22) broke up in November after dating for 7 months... April 3rd would of been a year and well I'm not sure how to handle the upcoming sadness that will be present that day. I honestly hate my ex but at one point he meant a lot to me and well now... I'm not sure I even want him to mean something. He's treated me like shit, like a princess and then like shit again and well I hope he enjoys his new found happiness with his new life that he's created for himself. He recently texted my mother and told her about piercings and pictures posted on reddit to be a dick and then 11 days later.... Easter Day he texts me saying happy Easter and that he missed me ish.... I wish he'd see this so he'd understand that I fucking hate him and he can go fuck himself. But anyways I still get sad thinking that what could of been our 1 year of happiness is coming up and the douche of a guy ruined it by changing into the guy he told me he'd never be.
TL;DR: | fuck my ex and everything he once meant to me. 1 year could of been, would of been, should of been is down the drain because of stupidity. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My fiance [23M] refuses to do any activity that I [23F] want to do.
POST: My fiance and I have been together for almost four years. He is kind, caring, and has severe anxiety. He doesn't like crowds, which means that if we go anywhere (concert, etc), he becomes very self conscious and awkward. I am a very outgoing person - I like going out with friends, and doing things on a whim. This causes him stress and more often than not I end up doing things alone. This has become extremely lonely.
I expressed to him that I would like to go to a night club for my birthday. He flat out said no. He said that it would make him uncomfortable, stressed, and anxious. He has never gone to a night club, (neither have I), so I asked him how he would know if he has never done it before. He still refused to go, and became angry with me for "pushing" him to do something he doesn't want to do.
Am I confused on how relationships work? I thought they were about give and take - I feel like he should do some activities to make me happy, and in turn, I would do things with him that would make him happy, even if it's something I don't really want to do. He is like this on a lot of things - if he has no interest in it, regardless if I'm very passionate about it or not, he will refuse to go with me. Is this normal, or am I just putting too much pressure on him?
TL;DR: | Fiance refuses to do anything with me that he doesn't want to do, to the point where I do most things alone. Is this normal or am I asking too much? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, What's the nicest thing that someone you've never met has done for you?
POST: Back when I was about ~12 years old (I think around 1995 or 1996) I used to be obsessed with computers to an unhealthy degree, I seriously didn't have a need for friends at the time. I saw an Ad in a magazine for the OS/2 Warp 4 operating system, I could not afford to buy it for myself, as I was only 12 but I was obsessed with looking at screenshots from some websites. I ended up calling IBM and talking to someone about os/2 warp (yes I was an annoying kid) and the guy was very happy that someone my age was so interested in this and he gave me his extension so I could call back at any time with questions. I called again a few weeks later and started talking to him and he asked for my address so he could send me a "demo".. I was stoked! so a week later a nice box showed up and it was a FULL version of OS/2 Warp 4 with the VoiceType Dictation microphone! I was so excited I forgot to backup everything on my computer before re-partitioning and installing it I ended up erasing my brothers homework.
SO anyways IBM Guy, if your out there.. thank you!
TL;DR: | when I was 12 I spoke to a guy at IBM about os/2 warp but I could not afford to buy it, he sent me a full copy for free. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think my girlfriend is falling for her ex again, would like some advice.
POST: So here's the deal Reddit. I've been dating a girl for about 3 years now, and things had a rocky start, and sparing out a lot of the details we both got rid of all our past partners entirely. Neither one of us cheated on each other (to my knowledge) during that time, and we ended up being stronger because of that.
There was always one guy who was around, she was engaged to him a year before we met and they had been highschool sweethearts before that. They broke up during her crazy college days and he claimed he hated her but is still close with her younger sister and family (they had been dating for almost 6 years at that point).
So fast forward to modern day, I go away for the weekend with friends and I lose my phone. I relayed a message to her via a friend but she never called me on my friends phone like I asked her to so I could talk to her. She was pissed off about me leaving before the trip and during, so I assumed it was just that she was mad at me.
I come home today and she is still mad at me, but it turns out her and some friends were hanging out and her ex was there too. Now there are posts on Facebook from her sisters, her mom, and a song about getting back with an old love on Facebook. I really thought things would work out between us, but I just don't know how to interpret this. It's really hard for me to grasp how someone could throw away all that time in 48 hours.
What does this look like to you outsiders? What should I do?
TL;DR: | Went away for the weekend, girlfriend hung out with ex of 6 years, now appears everyone in her family is back in love with him, what should I do? |
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