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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Please help me fall in love with my[23F] boyfriend [24M]!
POST: Hello /r/relationships, I could really use your advice. I started dating my SO about 2 years ago and we have been living together about 6 months now. When we first started, I knew I never felt the "butterflies" but I truly enjoyed being with him and we made great partners.
When I look to the future - I see him there. I want to have kids with him, I want to travel with him, I know our careers will match well and we will agree on all the important issues.
Unfortunately, I am starting to feel more indifferent to the relationship. I believe this is because I know he is so much more in love with me than I am. He always tries to kiss me, do things for me, etc. I am feeling really upset because I feel like I'm lying to him and being unfair that I don't want to do these things in return. It's gotten to the point that he just really irritates me and I feel like I can't escape because we do EVERYTHING together (we work together right now as well as living together). I just want to take a moment to breathe.. but I know I can't without hurting him.
I don't want anyone else.. I just miss being alone, living by myself, not feeling the responsibility that relationships require. I know that if I truly loved him this would be easier, so I'm begging you reddit, please help me love my boyfriend.
TL;DR: | We are best friends, I find him attractive, but there's no passion. What can I do to help this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Small wedding invite woes
POST: I'd like to apologise in advance for the essay.
Hi guys! Myself and my FH got engaged on the 17th of last month and think we've already found our dream venue. It's an observatory in the city we met and we are hoping to book for late next year/early 2017. The venue can only hold 30 guests for the ceremony (which is fine for us as we don't want anything lavish) but we're already stuck on the guest list for one particular reason - my aunt. She's my mum's sister and they have always been close, she was there for my mum when my parent's marriage broke down and has supported their reconciliation after 7 years apart. HOWEVER she isn't the kindest to my siblings or I (we don't have a great relationship with our dad and all of us are currently not in contact with him, which is tremendously awkward for my mum). She berates us for not giving him a chance and is also quite petty about ridiculous things. For example, last year on my birthday I received an angry message from her because I hadn't 'liked' or commented on her post on my timeline, despite the fact I hadn't responded to anyone.
Because of this I'd rather not have her at the ceremony, it's myself and my FH's day and we want those closest to us to be the ones to witness it, I'm happy to invite her and my uncle to the reception but need help with how to explain this to my mum and my aunt. Especially as we want to invite my dad's brother, his wife (my aunt) and their three children, this is mainly because we are closer to this side of the family and I can't imagine our day without them.
TL;DR: | How do I tell my mum's sister that I'm not inviting her and uncle to ceremony but inviting another set of aunt/uncle and cousins? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with a girl I just took on a date[21 F] i am unsure as to whether I ruined it
POST: I am not going to lie. I suck at 'dating'. I have been in relationships, but I fell into them without a 'date'. This was the first proper date I have had...ever. Now, it started a bit blandly. I live in Sweden, but I am British. Meeting girls is hard for me. We had spoken for about 2 weeks on the phone. It just took a while for my arse to get into gear and talk.
Now, I asked her, perhaps stupidly, if she was still attracted to me after meeting. She said 'yes'. She, however, did not want to kiss me (she said she is not 100% sure yet. maybe in the future). This bothered me a touch because on the phone she had been talking about all the random hookups she has had (one night things). I did not go there for sex, so that is fine. Just...I don't know why she had to decide on kissing me or not. We didn't kiss, but hugged goodbye (she called me back)
Throughout the day, she gave off 'signals' that she may have liked me. Her knees pointed towards mine, touching my knees etc. This may not have meant anything though.
She did ask if I wanted to hang out soon. i said 'yes'.
But, now she seems to be talking not so much. I get she may be tired, but she told me she was sleeping today but she was still online on Facebook (maybe too tired to talk?) and that we could talk tomorrow.
I really like her. She knows I am after something longterm, maybe to get a girlfriend at the end. So y'know.
How can I tell if she likes me? Why would she not want to kiss me if she was attracted to me?
Gah.
TL;DR: | I suck at reading girls and finding out if they are attracted to me. Man alive. Due to shit that has happened in the past, I don't know when people are lying and saying they like me and stuff. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31 M] with my GF [31 F] for 18 months, should I be as upset as I am?
POST: I [30] M, am in a relationship with a [31] F for about 18 months. We both have children and are divorced. Today we had our first parent meeting for her oldest daughter's cheer team.
I was there with my girlfriend and her two daughters. Her ex husband was there with his wife. The meeting ended and the girls wanted to show me where they were going to be practicing so I went on the floor. Their dad came out and was watching as well with his wife. My girlfriend was in the observation room talking. As she comes out, her ex walks over to us so that he can talk to my girlfriend. I move a little more away so they can have a conversation. (Side note, he has stated that he will not provide financial support for the cheer of his daughter and will provide transportation as long as it doesn't interfere with church.)
As I moved, I intended to go spend time with girls but their step mother was essentially taking over, so I stepped back to the conversation between my girlfriend and her ex husband. I gave an intrigued look and her response was, "he said this is intense but I told him this will be good for her." I acknowledged in agreement and that was it. We left.
Here is where my anger set in. When we get in the car, my girlfriend proceeds to tell me that her ex said he would pay for the uniform. I then asked, "when did he say this?" Her response was, "when you walked up." I asked why she didn't tell me when I approached. Her response was, "I didn't know how to handle it".
My anger comes from feeling like she was more concerned about not hurting his feelings or making him feel awkward then telling me all of the truth. After I confront her about this, she tells me that the real reason she didn't tell me was because she didn't know how I was going to respond to the new information of her ex paying for the uniform. (Him not paying was a big fight that occurred a few days prior to this.) Am I right for feeling angry and upset?
TL;DR: | I was told a partial truth by my girlfriend in front of her ex husband. Should I be as upset as I am? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[19M] with my crush [20F] 3 months, Should I tell her I love her over FB or in a 6 months when I see her again?
POST: So i met this girl travelling a few months ago, I traveled with her for about 6 weeks, we made love, kissed, often acted like a couple despite denying being one and then I had to fly home. I then met her again in London a few weeks ago and we made love, kissed and all that stuff again.
Thing is she's out of my league and I really don't think I'm good enough for her. I mean before she kissed me she was basically swooning over this guy who was 10 times better looking than me and I saw on her twitter when I was away:
'This guy knows Lermontov and wants to talk to me about ethnonationalism #marryme?'
Which kind of gives me the impression she doesn't feel the same way and knows she could do better which she certainly can. But anyway I can't stop thinking about her and I said I'd meet her when I go to america next year, however its killing me and I want to tell her I love her over FB, if she doesn't feel the same way I feel I could move on and forget about her.
Should I tell her, and if I do, how would I go about it?
TL;DR: | Should I wait to see her again and tell her or should I jsut let her know on FB and move on if she doesn't feel the same? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] and my SO [22 F] are going to be in a long distance relationship after 2 years together
POST: Hi,
She and I are from different countries. But we study together in Australia. Now that I've graduated, I'm planning to do business in my country. So, I'll be going back to my country in about 3 months while she will still be studying in Australia for about 2 more years. That means I won't be seeing her for very long besides occasional visits. My country and Australia are very far; cost about $1,000 on flight fares. I'm very confused to what to do. Should I break up now or drag this relationship into long distance one?
Please give me advice...
TL;DR: | She and I study overseas in Australia, and I'm going back to my country after graduation. What would be the best thing to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Sister just had an operation. How can I be there for her?
POST: **About procedure:** My sister (best sister I could ask for) just went through a medical procedure this morning. It's probably one of the hardest thing she'll go through. It might affect something major in her life, for the rest of her life.
**Recovery:** She can walk, and go around but can't do any intense physical activity, or exercise for two months. This will be hard for her because going to the gym, exercising or going for a run is her favorite pastime. She's going back to work next week.
**About sister:** She's always there for me (e.g. when I have a cold she bring me a "get well kit" with soup, halls...).
**Question:** Today, I don't know how I can comfort her. She's at her boyfriend's house (he's taking care of her). Doing something like bringing flower or something general doesn't feel right at all. I'm her brother. A general get-well-soon gift doesn't feel right. All I did until now is send a text saying if she needs anything to let me know.
TL;DR: | Greatest sister ever got a medical procedure. She won't be able to go to gym for about two months (she loves going). I don't know what to do to make her feel better/happy. Ideas? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [27/m] kissed coworker drunkenly [26/f] at bar, she says later it was a mistake, I agree (but not really).
POST: My coworker is new to the office (~3 weeks). We'd done small talk a bit at work, but I don't work with her directly. She's very attractive to me, and my first impression of her personality is really good.
On Friday, I got a chance to chat with her a bit at a work happy hour. Maybe just 10 minutes, but it was nice.
On Saturday, I was out at a bar with some work friends for another coworkers birthday. She showed up after we'd been there for a little over an hour. We ended up chatting a lot, dancing together, taking selfies (not my idea!), and getting drunk. At some point, we got away from coworkers and took the opportunity to make out. It was quick for fear of getting spotted (I think we succeeded, but it's a little hazy). We left a bit later, split cab, made out for a bit, but went home separately.
She gave me her number at some point. On Monday before I saw her at work, I texted her (conversation below). I had 3 thoughts on my mind: 1) I wanted to avoid unpleasant awkwardness at work 2) she might have had some regrets 3) I'd really like the chance to see where this goes. This was my first time texting her at all. Turns out she thought it was a mistake, which I really don't completely disagree with. It could certainly get messy with work and probably for her more than me.
I was disappointed, but then I feel like she reopened the door a bit (conversation below). I don't want to push things too hard and make things awkward or seem like I'm completely ignoring her stated wishes...it's probably not the best approach anyway. Do people have any advice on how I should handle from here? Should I just keep chatting with her? Just let things simmer and hope for more social situations? Am I totally reading too much into her last texts, and I should really just assume she has 0 interest?
**Text Conversation:** [
TL;DR: | drunkenly hit it off with coworker. She says it was a bad idea. She's probably right. Seems like she might not be totally closing the door, though. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Need advice...
POST: I'm not sure if this where to post this but it seemed like the best option.
- My parents after 21 years are getting divorced. I'm relieved. Its never been a happy marriage. My dad used to drink a lot and my mom started having affairs.
So I guess I can give you a little history of my family. I grew up lower middle class. My dad ranches and my mom is a nurse. Together they have two children, my brother (16) and I (21/F).
-I never spent a whole lot of time with my mom, she worked a lot and in the end just didn't want me around. So I've grown up being a daddy's girl which also upset my mom. I bounced around from family member to family member when I was in middle school and high school because she didn't want me home. We finally kind of patched up our relationship when I went to college. She had major weight loss surgery and it completely changed her. I think her affairs started when I was in middle school and my dad's drinking got worse. They have continued up until now which has led to their divorce. She believes she is entitled to a settlement and I completely disagree. She really hasn't brought anything into the marriage.
So my question to reddit is that am I in the wrong for estranging myself from her except for maybe 10 minute interactions every couple weeks? She asks my roommate about me often but I just don't care anymore. I just feel that everything is everyone else's fault and she will never own up for anything that she does. Its my dad's fault she had affairs (8 at least), her mother didn't give her the attention that she needed, etc.
TL;DR: | Mom has affairs and ends up with my parents getting divorced. Am I wrong for not wanting anything to do with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do you guys consider omitting information lying? Is it dishonest to leave information out to "save the feelings" of the SO?
POST: My boyfriend [M/23] has a habit of "forgetting" to tell me [F/22] the full story. He consistently doesn't tell me that his friends (a M/F couple) are with him in many instances. For example, he is at his family's cottage this weekend and he told me he was just there with his family. However, his brother texted me this morning about them being there (I really wasn't poking around).
He has done this with the same two people a handful of other times and has said before that he didn't want me to be upset that they were there and I wasn't (this is not something I would be that upset by).
I've mentioned to him before that it actually hurts me more when he doesn't tell me he is with them because it feels like he is hiding it from me, and when he does tell me it seems like he does so begrudgingly.
This past summer we were long distance, and a friend of the girl in the couple tried to seduce my boyfriend. I suppose since I found that out I've been slightly more curious about what he is up to when I'm not around, but not to the point of being untrusting.
We are going to be long distance again soon but for six months this time. I try my best not to worry but it makes me wonder if he is hiding other things from me when he leaves out the fact that he is with these friends. We have been dating for over 1.5 years. So I guess my question is, am I just too insecure? Or do I have a right to get anxious about this?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend tends to leave out the fact that he is with two certain friends; makes me wonder about his honesty/my sanity. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17 F] friend is mad at Me [17 F] because a Boy [18 M] likes me, not her.
POST: Alright, so this is going on currently. My friend last year began talking to this boy in the grade above us. They talked for around a year and she began to really like him. During this time, I was also talking to him and we became really good friends. She began getting really jealous that he would talk to me. Eventually, she was saying very weird things to him and being really rude, so he decided to end things and I guess essentially "break up" with her. (They were never dating.)
Now, around 6 months later, I still talk to this boy, and recently we began to bring our relationship to the next level. I obviously told my friend, because I did not want to keep it a secret from her. She was extremely angry. I had a long conversation with her about how I understand that she is mad, but I do not think she should end our friendship over this. We have been friends for 7 years, and are only in high school right now. They never actually dated, and he never actually liked her, but she blames me for stealing him from her. I personally think she is overreacting, but I feel really bad and don't know what to do. :(
TL;DR: | My friend is mad at me for dating a boy she liked, but never dated. Blames me for 'stealing him' from her, and is saying I care more about him than our friendship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I decided to watch a random episode of The Big Bang theory. I do think it can be entertaining from time to time, but.. this really kind of bothered me.
POST: So I started by loading a recent episode from this season. I look at the total run time.. Nineteen minutes and 2 seconds for the ENTIRE episode. I understand that they have advertisements for TV and most half hour shows are ~23 minutes. That seems about average and expected but when I realized that 19 minutes includes about a minute and a half for the opening and closing sequence we are actually talking about 17:32 minutes of actual episode time. That just seems like they aren't even trying to hide the fact that they have little substance, just fodder for the advertisements.
TL;DR: | with opening and closing credits, there is 19 minutes of episode in the episode of Big Bang Theory that I watched today. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [22 m] have been talking to a woman online [29]
POST: Hi,
A few weeks ago I received an email from someone called Rachel. It looked dodgy, but was intrigued so replied with something menial. She then replied saying who she was (a Russian girl) and a bit about herself, with some pics.
I replied properly and we've exchanged a couple emails since, with some pics of ourselves, pets, family, etc. I don't know if I just have trust issues, but would like some advice on the whether this is likely to be legit or not.
Pros
- Sends pics of herself in different situations
- Sounds fairly legit
- I love Russian women
- Said she got my email from a Zoosk message (I do use Zoosk and I have sent out a couple of their "mass message" things)
Cons
- Doesn't answer a lot of my questions (do you smoke, etc), and repeats a few things from previous emails. Language barrier perhaps?
- Looking for a green card maybe?
- Says she doesn't have internet at home, can only reply at work. Also no social media, etc due to being blocked at work. Sounds fairly legit to me, especially as she said she wanted to call at some point in the future, just a nagging feeling.
- Last email sounded like she was rushing a bit faster into promoting a possible relationship
I really like the look of how things are going, however I can't help questioning the above. Any help/advice would be very much appreciated.
I think I might have trust/commitment issues, but it's nice to get a second opinion. Thanks.
TL;DR: | been talking to a Russian girl online, I'm interested but want to know if it sounds too good to be true. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my [23F] friend whom I met through a dating site last week.
POST: So I met a girl through a dating website last week. We ended up exchanging phone numbers the first day we started talking and have texted at least a little almost everyday since. Some day's we text a lot!
The problem is I'm clueless when it comes to this stuff, I've been socially awkward most my life and have only ever dated one girl. So I dont know any of the signs if things are going well or not.
So far I've been the one to initiate all the texts and conversations. But she does respond. Should I keep doing this or give her some space to start a conversation with me. I just kinda want to know if I'm doing things right. Heck, I dont even mind if we just end up being friends, I'm just clueless to this stuff :D
Oh and I cant just ask her out for a cup a coffee either. She lives 50 miles away so that's a little far.
TL;DR: | I'm clueless to reading signals!!! Is it a bad thing that I'm the one starting all the conversations after just getting to know her a week prior? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Inexperienced [25/M] and confused by my feelings toward her [24/F]
POST: So, I met a girl online a few weeks ago. We got along really well and ended up fooling around that night. I was extremely inexperienced. As in I had never even made out with anyone.
It ended up happening again once more and the time after that, we had been drinking and ended up having sex.
We're both Christians and both believe in waiting for marriage. She had a few years a bit back when she really turned away from her faith and had a couple of partners in that time. I was as implied above a virgin.
Since then, I have had trouble being attracted to her. We get along great and I really enjoy spending time with her. I've just had trouble getting excited about seeing her when we're not together. Both wanting to wait, we decided to really scale things back so we can really get to know each other without our feelings being confused by sex or giving temptation too much of an opportunity. For now, we're not even holding hands.
I'm really confused by my feelings. I'm not sure if I just need time to process a big event that we both regret, I'm actually not interested her but scared to let someone who likes me so much and gets me so well go since it seems to be so rare, or what. It was just over two weeks ago that we had sex so it hasn't been very long.
I guess I'm just looking for help sorting out my feelings. I really liked her before everything happened. Now I'm trying to figure out if it's completely gone or I just need time. I really don't want to string her along if it's never going to be there again. Any insight on how to sort out my thoughts?
TL;DR: | Met a girl and things went way too fast. Had sex, but both of use wanted to wait for marriage. Now confused on whether the feeling disappeared temporarily while I work through letting myself down or if I'm just not into her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [30 M] broke up with my girlfriend [29 F] 3 months ago, but now I feel weird
POST: Hello,
I broke up with my girlfriend 3 months ago. We were together for a year and she was my second serious relationship. She always loved me more than I loved her and I never was really head over heels in love with her and I think she somehow knew this. We had a decent relationship however, but she was very bossy and controlling and the sex wasn't really working out. I wasn't that physically attracted to her and her behavior was even more a turn-off. I felt bad in the relationship, but waited for about 4 months for things to get better. Eventually, I pulled the plug and broke up, which caused her a lot of grief. I was also in tears, but felt very relieved.
Now we are 3 months further and she still posts some occasional breakup-stuff on Facebook, so last Sunday, I asked her to meet up, because I had the impression that she was still grieving the breakup. But then I found out that she's in a relationship with another guy a month after me. I told her that I was happy for her (which I am in some way), but I suspect it's just a "rebound guy".
Now, I don't want her back or anything, I had valid reasons to breakup with her, but I feel so WEIRD? I can't explain this feeling. I don't feel jealousy, or anger, or anything. Can someone help me place this feeling? :-/
Kind regards,
Flus Flis
TL;DR: | I had valid reasons to breakup with my girlfriend of 1 year 3 months ago, but now that I found out that she has someone else a month after me, I feel so WEIRD? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [29/F] and I [27/F] go too far with teasing and cross the line into cruel remarks but we don't know how to communicate what's off-limits
POST: Earlier tonight, I made a joke about my girlfriend being not as good enough as her older sister. I seriously didn't mean it, but she got very flustered and upset.
I didn't know it was off-limits. I apologized to her, but can still tell that she's not over what I said.
The thing is my girlfriend and I are both sarcastic people and like teasing each other. It usually is fun and funny (we're both witty people! :-)) but sometimes it goes way too far. For example when she called something I proposed stupid, it was not cool with me because I found it degrading.
We are terrible at communicating about feelings. It seems like we either have to a) not tease each other at all and tiptoe around feelings or b) have this problem.
I know theoretically what should happen is we should define the boundaries of what is okay to joke and rib each other about and what's not, but we're both unwilling to have this conversation. Me, because I feel so vulnerable telling her what I'm sensitive about; it seems like a weakness and I don't want her to see that part of me.
We've been dating for 5 months btw.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend [29/F] and I [27/F] go too far with teasing and cross the line into cruel remarks but we don't know how to communicate what's off-limits |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] am infatuated with my bisexual girlfriend of 3 years' [21F] female friend [22F]. Girlfriend somehow wants a polyamorous relationship with her. Help.
POST: A little additional detail to the title. The prospect is a close mutual friend of ours. What she doesn't know is that I've been infatuated with her friend for as long as I can remember, and that her friend probably liked me back when me and my girlfriend weren't together(Maybe even right now since she always calls me when she's down or whatever). We're both hypersexual, active, and willing to explore. But the problem that lingers is that I might fall in love with her friend, and her friend, with me.
Should I tell her about my infatuation and lose my chance of polyamory, or keep it down and see how her friend reacts to our 'proposal'?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I wanna get in a triad relationship with our friend who I've mutually had a crush on for a long time. Yay or nay? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by having fun provocing my brother
POST: The FU happened a longer time ago, like most of the FU's here.
My brother, who is 1 year younger than me, has always been a person that gets into raging very easily. He completely forgets his surroundings and will try to hit you and/or destroy things.
When I was younger I always had fun getting him into that state, I don't even know why since it got both of us into trouble everytime. One time it went that far that he was literally standing on the stairs with a knife shouting at me, that he is gonna kill me. (I seriously thought he needs some help controlling his emotions but my parents ignored it, it got way better the older he got btw)
Basically one day I had a fried of mine at our house and we played on my Nintendo Wii, my brother was annoying me a lot because he knew I would get angry. I started provocing him that day to the point where he grabbed my Nintendo Wii Controller, smashed it onto the ground, he then grabbed my Nintento DS and smashed it onto the ground and afterwards he kicked in the glass of our living room door.
Oh boy, my parents didn't let us leave the house for atleast 4 weeks.
TL;DR: | Had fun provocing my brother, he destroyed everything I had fun with after school and then destroyed our glass door in the living room. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Trying to Plan a Party for my GF but none of her friends can make it...
POST: My GF's birthday is tomorrow and for the last 2 weeks I've been trying to plan a gathering for her. Unfortunately all her friends have excuses as to why they can't go and it really bums me out because she's always going to other people's stuff and putting others first because she's a people pleaser.
I already hate planning things but I feel like she's going to be so sad that no one made an effort to even try to make it work. Or maybe I'm just being upset fr her and people are just busy. Either way, I'm going to try hard to make sure she feels special but I just wish her friends could come.
TL;DR: | Throwing a party for GF. Almost none of her friends can come. Really annoying because she goes to everyone's stuff. I want her to feel special but throwing a party with only a few people seems sad to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors with a SO: What situations involving your SO are likely to leave you thinking, "Here we go again..."
POST: Example: My wife comes into the restaurant I manage and has a glass of wine - nothing better to brighten my day than seeing the ladyfriend while at work. We part ways and I call her approximately 30 minutes later to make sure she made it home fine. That's when i find out she's talking to her mom. They are both Italian. Now, I don't know if that's significant but I do know that mother/daughter conversations with wine/scotch readily available at home leads to one thing: 1-2 hours(aka 1-2 bottles of wine) of talking(aka casual drinking).
They are both amazing women, but when chatting over wine I can safely assume she'll be schnockered. Either way, here I am laughing at the sight of her sleeping relatively early for our schedule knowing that her love for her mother is the culprit. Happens approximately quarterly and I see it coming a mile away each time.
TL;DR: | When I'm away at work and my wife is talking to her mom over a glass of wine, I can safely assume I won't be talking to her until the next morning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I need help regarding a Dismissed Summons in NY
POST: Hi, Reddit. My girlfriend (20 years old) and I got summons for criminal court a few months ago and I was told that nothing would be sent to our homes so that our families wont find out. She comes from a strict family and her father loves reading her mail (Daddy issues). So fast forward to today, she gets a letter saying she is dismissed from criminal court and the case is sealed. Her father obviously is the one who opened up the letter and is going to call the court on Monday to find out what the letter was referring to.
So my question is, can he inquire to the court about what the summons was about? Would they tell him? Or is it really confidential?
PLEASE REDDIT HELP ME.
TL;DR: | GF got summons, doesn't want nosy dad to find out. Will they give him the information if he calls? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Boyfriend breaks up with me. We live together; need advice on money and property issues
POST: Apologies in advance if this runs too long.
He and I moved into an apartment together
last September. We verbally agreed that he'd
pay slightly less towards rent than I since I
was making far more money than he was.
Fast forward to May, he breaks up with
me, leaving me devastated and heartbroken.
Mind you this is after a 7 year relationship! For
the months of June through August he pays a full
half of the rent and sleeps on the couch, as there
is no real second bedroom.
His brother's best friend got married awhile
ago and ended up getting a new couch to replace
his old one which he offered TO US. As far as I
see it - we own the couch 50/50. Now I could
rightfully demand that he pay the difference in rent
for the months we were together, but in the
interest of separating amicably I decide that if he
lets me have that couch I won't hold him responsible
for the 1800 he owes me. He claims that since the
couch was came from people in "his camp" he's the
rightful owner - and that he doesn't owe me a cent
as far as the difference in rent is concerned.
Totally bogus!
Location: Boston, Massachusetts, sorry!
Your thoughts, Reddit? And what, if any, legal options can I pursue to get that 1800 back?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend pays less rent due to lower income; breaks up with me, refuses to pay difference while we were together, claims sole ownership over couch 50/50 owned. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [F]iance [30] has serious self-esteem issues ... It is giving me a lot of doubts too [34/M]
POST: My fiance worked for a shitty, abusive, control-freak of a boss that trashed her confidence, and has really shaken her foundation for marketing herself to employers. Not long after securing her last job, they let her go.
I see it as just another event in long chain involving people that identify her as a doormat and then proceed to either use and abuse her, or then make her life so miserable that she is forced to leave.
Sometimes I feel like she is unable to make decisions on her own about ANYTHING. This happens at home, so I'm assuming that it must happen while she is on the job too.
She's sweet, asks lots of questions, but will almost never assert herself, and after failing, chalks it up to it being "fate's decision" or something along those lines. She's at her parent's beck and call (though we don't live near them), and frets over little things that she thinks might irritate them somehow (displaying the gifts they give her, some of them unwanted .. things like that).
I've been asking her to consider seeing a psychiatrist and/or therapist, to see if there could be a biological component in all this, but she refuses because of the cost, as she doesn't have insurance.
I don't know what to do -- If I try and address this, I feel like i'll be piling onto her already huge mountain of worries ... but at the same time, I can tell that she suspects that something is up.
TL;DR: | girlfriend questions everything she does at home and at work -- I feel like she is too indecisive and it is impacting our relationship on a multitude of levels |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I(M35) get out of this relationship when I don't hate her(F45).
POST: Sorry if this dosen't format right it's my first time posting. I don't hate her. I just want to be on my own and not in debt anymore. See she does not have a job and has not had one for years now. At first it wasn't so bad but as the years have dragged on, my debt increased and the thoughts of borrowing more from family and friends burnt my pride. I have had enough. The problem is I am her only means of support. She's looking for work finally but I'm tired now. I'm just worried about my future. Kids are out of the question because she's running up on menopause and I don't want to start having kids I can't support. Hell if this keeps up I can forget buying a house. This year is the second that I have not had enough money to pay my taxes let alone the monthly student loan payments that we both have. If I wake up five years from now in the same situation I will hate her and myself for not leaving. I think it is just that she does not seem to be able to pull her head out of the sand and handle her business. She just seems to have not grown up and I can't be her father anymore. I know I should leave but I just can't leave her with nothing. So every day I come home and pretend to be happy but we hardly talk and I just bury my face in the computer to escape her glances. I just need some Idea on how to detach from this relationship in a way that won't break her.
TL;DR: | Long-term relationship that I want out of but lack of money to set us both up and her love for me keeps me in it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Reddit, help me out here. I [25f] am trying to find a polite way to tell my friend [23f] that a change of scenery will not fix all of her problems.
POST: A good friend of mine for the last two years has been really upset regarding being alone and not being in a relationship. She is constantly searching to be in a relationship with guys to the point of just randomly hooking up with people just so she doesn't feel alone. Aside from doing that entirely, the guys she tries to date are just really really shitty people. Examples: One guy refused to tell people about their 'relationship' because he claimed that he would lose custody of his child if he did, so he just slept with her a lot and then when they 'broke it off' he had no problem telling everyone about the next girl he started seeing seriously. Another guy she was engaged to dumped her and then married someone else 2 months later, then when the guy divorced his wife, he came back around and she LET HIM.
I constantly tell her that she's better than all of this, but she refuses to listen. Her priorities of finding someone to be in a relationship with get so bad that she begins to not do anything with her friends or go anywhere unless the person she is currently trying to date is going with us too. Every time one of these guys hurts her she gets really depressed about it. This time she's saying she's moving out of state. I don't know how to tell her that moving away isn't going to solve any of her problems in a nice way. Its obvious to me that she needs to surround herself with better people and things will get better for her. I also would love to find a way to tell her that being in a relationship with someone shouldn't be a top priority to her, and she should work towards loving herself first before she tries to make anything work with another guy. I just really don't know how to handle this situation without coming off as a total bitch.
TL;DR: | Friend dates shitty people, and is now threatening to move out of state. I don't know how to tell her a change of scenery will not solve her problems. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] having issues accepting being single
POST: Hi all,
I just thought id take the time to ask a few questions for those who may help me find direction now that I am single. I have been in a number of 6-12 month relationships over the years, all of which have happened very soon after one another - yet were obviously unsuccessful. Now that I am again single, i find myself automatically wanting to find another person to date.
Is this normal? I am having a hard time accepting myself as single and being happy with this. I know that friends are important, and that you have to be happy alone to be happy. With all of this in mind, its just not happening. I am attempting to focus on my fitness and work currently, which is fulfilling somewhat - but its just not helping me when late at night ... theres just nothing to do/noone to miss you or really care about your day.
My friends are all ok, they are good enough company - but its a different sort of company as you know you are just a part of their life - you are not a foundation for it.
I'd like any comments, and suggestions on how I can better myself and stop caring and wanting more for now. Even my friendships i easily ruin by letting myself feel too much, or we get physical and then its just awkward.
*there is not even anyone currently who i wish i could be with, I miss my ex's because it was a relationship where I meant something to someone - but i have no intention of ever going back....but at the same time I find myself on all the dating sites and apps. The guy I am sort of "seeing" doesn't seem as keen as I am - and so I just hope to gain some insight on how to better myself...I just want to be happy.
TL;DR: | I am not happy alone, and wish to find out if this is normal or if it is purely something time will help me push away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my recently ex-girlfriend [23 F] of four years, she wants to take me on a birthday trip but doesn't want me?
POST: She and I had been together for just over four years. Had our ups and downs, but she is my best friend and I am in love with her. Recently (weeks) she had become very irritable with me and acknowledged it herself. She said that she didn't know if she was "in love" with me anymore and wanted a break.
I should have taken it then and there, because what followed was a miserable week. She would say she didn't want to be with me...and then kiss and cuddle me. Very confusing, so I just decided to break up with her because it felt unhealthy.
During the break up she made it clear that she wanted to reassess her feelings and sort of asked me to wait for her. I made no promises but told her that it would take a while for me to move on. She said at most it could be a month, but probably less. That was several days ago. She just sent me an email this morning with a link to an airbnb, offering to pay for an overnight birthday (and graduation) trip for me next week and mentioning that she's already taken the two days off.
I don't really know how to respond to the email. I want to ask her if her feelings have changed I guess, but don't know how to phrase it. My brain is also dead from all the projects I have on my plate.
A bit of context for those of you interested. She has always had pretty low sex drive. She also mentioned that she likes women slightly more than men, but her love for me increased attraction. I suspect that the reason for her doubt is she wants a girlfriend/is losing her attraction to me, but that's speculative.
TL;DR: | GF wanted a break. It didn't last long so I'm not sure anything has changed, and don't know how to feel about or reply to her reaching out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by punching the printer.
POST: So I work in a printing place and we have this one machine that constantly has paper jams. To make matters worse it's just a few feet from my desk and every time it jams it beeps 9 times, it's incredibly annoying.
Today I had to print off 600 catalogs so we can send them out to customers on this thing and it just kept jamming after every 5th or 6th completed copy. I was trying to fix it but it just kept beeping at me until I got annoyed and rapped the touch screen with my knuckle in a fit of aggravation. The glass cracked and the crack spiderwebbed across the whole length of the screen and it no longer responded to touch.
I called a technician in and the guy just showed up told me that he couldn't replace just the glass, he needed to order a whole new interface for the thing. It's also not covered under the service contract we have with the company we're leasing the printer from and the replacement part costs $1200. He was super nice and told me he wouldn't invoice me for labor or travel time but he had to charge me for the part.
I didn't even strike it that hard! Now I have to go inform my boss I cost him 1200 bucks. He'll be thrilled.
TL;DR: | There was a paper jam and the printer beeped a lot, I lost my temper and broke the $1200 touch screen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my casual overseas hook up [31 M], now he's coming to visit
POST: Hi everyone
So I'm an American who visited Australia last month. I was traveling all over but met a guy living in Sydney, a city I'd be for only two days, on Tinder. We started talking and while he isn't normally my type we really got along and met up the night I was there. We were pretty explicit it would just be a hook up, though we had become Facebook friends to communicate so he wasn't totally random.
The date was amazing, it was kind of crazy just how well we got along and how much fun we had. We hooked up then spent the entire night just talking, honestly it was one of the most intimate experiences of my life (I know).
I mentioned he should come and visit and was serious, something about the night just really resonated with me. He messaged me the next day saying what a nice time he had and gave me a few spots to check out in Sydney, and I sadly sorta accepted it might be the last time we would speak for awhile.
About a week later, he writes me saying he's probably going to be in town. He had been to a festival last year close-ish to where I live and had managed to get tickets again, and was going to stop by my city before heading on to the festival. I was elated, and he asked if I'd be down for him to stay with me even. I said of course, and then he said if it wouldn't be happening in the next few weeks he'd also been planning a US trip later in the year.
I guess I'm writing this because I'm kind of dumbfounded at how a random hook up has suddenly evolved into something like this. I actually really like him and am just wondering if you guys think this is him taking advantage of the opportunity to hook up again or if he perhaps is feeling something more too?
TL;DR: | Met a guy for a casual hook up abroad, but now he's visiting and I'm wondering what his motives are? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25M] girlfriend [25F] has been avoiding me since she got an abortion
POST: I accidentally got my girlfriend pregnant. When she told me, she also immediately said she wanted to get an abortion. I agreed. I paid for half, and went with her to the appointment.
This was three weeks ago. Since then, she has been very distant and avoiding me. She'll cancel dates, or just say she'd rather be alone than hang out. When I try to text her or call her she gives very limited responses.
I just want to know how I can help her. When I asked her if she wanted to talk about her feelings or anything, she very clearly said she did not want to talk about anything and just wanted to be left alone. I have been respectful of this.
I just don't know what I can do to make this situation better. Any advice?
TL;DR: | GF recently got an abortion and has been avoiding me ever since. I tried to reach out but she does not want to talk. How can I help her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[30F] am not sure if long distance relationship is a good idea at my age with my boyfriend [32] 1.5 years
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years. I have a good stable career and dislike moving around while he has a very unstable academic trajectory which forces him to periodically move to different cities. I plan to be married before I'm 35 and have a child before then as well. With his location uncertainties, I would have to give up my career to move around with him. He is perfect for me in every other way except this uncertainty in geography. We're both attractive people, so is it better to break it off even though I love him due to practicality?
TL;DR: | I love my boyfriend but we'll be doing LDRs for an uncertain amount of years, should I break up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (26F) issue with a FWB (32M)
POST: I met a guy online for just casual sex. Things have been a little intense between us ever since we first met a couple of months ago (we spend days together, he holds me as I fall asleep, we speak everyday) but it's always been a "neither of us are in the right place for a relationship" kind of deal.
Today we were speaking about both of our expectations as he struggled after I had left him yesterday. I said if I were in a different place emotionally, I would probably want more from him - but that I'm not so I don't. He said he understood and he said he felt the same. We kept talking about the situation, and he said "it's best this way, you're not even my type" with a laughing emoji.
I asked him what he meant, and he said he'd explain next time we met. Then I realised if he did tell me what was wrong with me, I'd feel sad so I said to leave it.
The thing is, I'm just not sure if it's killed it for me. I'm worried he thinks he's punching below his weight and can do way better than - and I just can't see myself enjoying sex with someone that arrogant. But now I can't forget it and I don't want to ask a second time as I'd probably seem mental and obsessed.
Would it be crazy to bring it up again, or would you just sack it off and move on from the "relationship"? I also don't want to ask in a way that makes it seem like I'm asking for more, I just want to enjoy our time together for what it is.
TL;DR: | FWB said I wasn't his type, I said don't talk about it, but it's clearly an issue. Do I address it or stop seeing him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Hey /r/Travel, I'm in the beginning of planning a trip far in the future. Can you help me out?
POST: Alright, to start this off, my girlfriend and I just got back from a trip around Ireland where we were there for 12 days and stayed in 3 city's for 4 days each. A small town, a medium sized city and a big city. We rented a car and had a map with a wide range of points of interest on it. We decided the day before where we would go depending on weather and how tired we were. We really enjoyed this style trip and would like to do something similar somewhere else.
We like history, architecture, and beautiful scenery. Night life is cool but not mandatory.
Alright, there is the back story, thanks if you read this far in.
This next trip should be between 15 and 20 days including travel from the east of Canada.
So right now I'm deciding between a very similar trip around Italy staying in the south, middle and north. Sticking to one country was fun and we learned a lot, but I'd like to see more if it is reasonable.
Or a trip starting in Croatia, staying there for a couple days in a couple different cities(no idea yet what to see or where to stay). Maybe heading to Venice, maybe not. Travelling up through Slovenia, Austria, Germany(maybe Munich stop over for a couple days, no idea) and ending in Zurich, Switzerland. I have no idea about what I should see or if I should stay a bit in Slovenia, or Austria or even Germany or Switzerland.
I would be free for an March/April trip.
Is there a thing you would change? I'm open to pretty much starting anywhere and ending anywhere, this was just a preliminary idea to run past some fellow travelers.
Is it even possible to rent a car in one country and leave it in another? should be use a train between the countries? Plane?
TL;DR: | Idea for a trip, Croatia-Slovenia-Austria-Germany-Switzerland. Good or bad idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling a kid he couldn't play with my kickball.
POST: As with most TIFUs, this happened quite a few years back. I remember the day like it was yesterday...
The whole aftercare program was out on the playground that day, as it was a great day to take a bunch of rowdy elementary school kids outside. I, particularly, was having a great day because I received a 100% on both my math and reading tests. Even called my mom to tell her because why the fuck not? That same day, however, we learned about Martin Luther King Jr. and his dream. We learned the basics about racism. They couldn't really delve deep into the topic as we were only 2nd graders. Keep in mind that this topic was in my back for the rest o the day. So back to aftercare. I was kicking ass at kickball like I always did when a black kid I didn't really like came up to me and asked me if he could have the kickball. **Here comes the fuck up.** I then told him that I would not give him the ball because he was black. FML. I meant to say because he was a jerk, because he really was. I am the furthest thing from being a racist, as I am of African descent as well. Next thing I knew he told the aftercare teacher and I was in timeout for the rest of the day. DOUBLE FML. I went home sad that day, but little did I know this incident wouldn't stay under the radar. The next day at around noon I got pulled from class. I didn't think anything of it, because I had never really gotten in trouble before, and I was 7. I walked into my Georgia-born, African American principals office and was given a stern talking to. I got a two day external suspension. In the second grade. They called my mom. Little did I know they called my mom. I got home and I got the biggest ass whoopin' of my life that day. I think my ass cheeks are still ringin' from that epic stingin'.
TL;DR: | Told a kid he couldn't play with my kickball because he was black, got suspended from school in the second grade, got an ass whoopin' when I got home. |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: [Two new cats, first time owner] Just got two cats, one is being a douchebag to the other, advice?
POST: Recently just saved two cats; both fat fuzzy guys one of which is 10 and the other 3. They're both really outgoing and the moment I brought them back to my apartment they were wandering around and checking it out and had no problem coming up to my GF and I for the pettings.
All last night (got them yesterday morning) the younger one bullied the older - not letting him leave from under the bed, and if he did he'd get on top of him and bite his neck.
So we're aware this is a submission thing determining the leader of the house, but is there anything we can do? The older one has a lot of trouble leaving from under the bed and he get "yelled" at when he does. Being an older cat we really don't want him to be so afraid all the time.
I think the real question is how far do we go in disciplining the younger guy but not get in the way of the natural order of things? Sorry for lengthy post too.
TL;DR: | Younger cat "bullying" older cat, not letting him leave under the bed and always putting him into submission. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I'm a 6'8", 275 lb dude. I feel as though because of my size, I unintentionally intimidate most women, so I'm hesitant to approach them in social situations. Any input?
POST: I'm not going to toot my own horn or anything like that, but I don't think I'm that bad looking, and I'm losing weight. However, when I go out with my friends I always see people of both genders looking at me as though I'm automatically a towering hulk of murder. Admittedly, I listen to death metal, so the music in the New Jersey bar scene is absolutely not for me, but I don't walk in wearing a Through the Eyes of the Dead shirt looking like I want to open a mosh pit in the middle of the dance floor. I dress in a collared shirt and shoes and all that jazz. I feel as though I hear all the time that girls like tall guys, but I feel as though I'm TOO tall. My pals are both between 5'6" and 5'7", and they think I'm being grossly unreasonable. Is there any input that can be given?
TL;DR: | I'm a giant and I think I terrify women, and I'd like to not terrify women. I want hugs and kisses and cuppycake gumdrops. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/f]Going to stay with fiance's [22/m] family for the holidays... please help me not to be a bitter bitch!
POST: I'm supposed to stay with the future in-laws for a few days before Christmas as a visit, and at that time we'll be letting the family know that we're getting married next August. This would be a great time of celebration except that my mother in law is a gigantic bitch.
The week we got engaged, she sat me down and told me they wouldn't be paying for *anything* with the wedding because no one helped with theirs (they were 10 years older than we are). Sure. Fair enough, except that she then started making demands about who should be invited, saying that the 3 hour drive to the destination we wanted to hold it was 'a lot to ask' of that side of the family (it's 20 minutes from where we're living, and 40 mins to 2hr for most of my family; no one else has complained), telling us what we should have to eat at the reception and generally just being a pissant. Is there any way I can tell her (bonus points for nicely) to STFU with the unsolicited advice?
Secondly, fiance's brother is 26 and a horrific coke addict. He's got narcissistic personality disorder and I have witnessed several occasions, one terrible one, where he tried to kill the family. My fiance ended up choking him out on the porch and locking him out until the cops came. Fiance's younger brother, 19, and his parents have said that if asshole Mcgee is not invited to the wedding, they won't come.
We on no uncertain terms do not want him at our wedding or around any of my family almost purely because of the risk of violence and the fact that he can't keep his mouth shut. We've made our guest list; how can we let the rest of the family know that he is not included on our day?
TL;DR: | how can I get through 3 days with my unwelcoming in-laws without causing drama and still be able to enjoy the planning and day of my wedding? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I get over my focus problem and concentrate on one thing?
POST: Preferably without drugs, I'd like to do this on my own.
I realized the other day, ironically with the help of a drug, that my main problem holding me back is my focus. I can't stay focused on one task, my mind wanders.
I can barely read a book, I go over the words but I don't absorb any information, the whole time I'm thinking of other things; "how will I pay for my computer? Haven't gotten laid in a while.. I don't like how I look" Just shit like that.
There are things that I want to do, like actually learn from reading, or sit down for 2 hours and empty my creative ideas out into a story, or even do well at work or not pee all over the floor.
My head is scattered, I cannot concentrate on anything, I've begun to force myself to stay on one task in hopes that it will eventually turn into focus, and I believe it will, but I'm looking for more tips.
Anybody ever overcome this without add meds? I've never been on them before but maybe I should have been. I feel like, and I'm sure many others do, that I have potential and it is being wasted by distractions. And that just comes down to instant satisfaction versus hard work for satisfaction. Instead of writing and then having the glory of having written a story, I'd rather come on reddit so I can feel happy right away.
Like my head, even this article is all over the place I feel. Looking for any words of encouragement or any tips or ways anybody overcame this problem.
Thanks.
TL;DR: | I've never been able to focus and it's holding me back. How can I concentrate on a single task without the use of prescription drugs? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my boyfriend [24M] of 1.5 years. Someone anonymously sent me a dick pic of my boyfriend. He denies it was him.
POST: I am trying not to get freak out about this but things just don't seem to add up and I can't help but think the worst. So yesterday I get a text from an unknown number and it is a snapchat screenshot of a dick. Straight away I recognize it as my boyfriend's dick as I've seen it enough times and he has sent me similar pictures. I had a million things going through my mind but of course I'm thinking he has been snapchatting dirty pics with someone. I immediately text back *who is this?* but I got no reply.
When I next saw my boyfriend I showed him the picture and asked him what the fuck the picture was. He straight away just said it was just a picture he must have sent me. Then when I told him someone had sent it to me he looked at the picture closer and said it *obviously wasn't him and I needed to calm down*. I kind of believed him because I guess I wanted to and I probably did need to calm down. The rest of the night he was almost teasing me that I thought it was him and when I asked him why someone sent me it his explanation was that it was probably a wrong number.
But this morning I looked at the picture again and I am sure it is him. It all seems so weird – why would someone send me this? Where did they get my number? I don't really know what to do. Is there any way to prove he has been sending pictures? I guess that is the thing about snapchat – you don't know what people have been sending. I have now convinced myself he has been cheating but maybe I am just thinking the worst. I don't know. I need advice.
TL;DR: | Someone anonymously sent me a dick pic of my boyfriend that he must have sent them. He denies it was him. Don't know what to believe. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 26 M with my Girlfriend 24F. Her dog had a sudden emergency. Not sure what to do.
POST: I might get crucified by the animal lovers here but this seems like an insane situation and I'm not sure if I'm even in any place to say something about it. For some background my girlfriend is in the end stages of her graduate school for her masters and is expecting to have about $25,000 in debt. As a side note she had a small inheritance of about $18,000 that she has invested.
Well this morning I get a panicked call from her that her 14 year old miniature poodle was sick and had to be rushed to the vet. I'm not sure what was actually wrong with her but long story short the vet says that they can hospitalize her there and give her constant meds, blood transfusions, and perform various imaging for the next week and there will be about a 50% chance of her surviving, for how long, they couldn't say. This week long vet stay is estimated to cost around $15,000.
I have two dogs, I have had dogs all my life, I love dogs, but I think $15,000 for a shot in the dark for who knows how long for a dog that old is absolute insanity. Of course my girlfriend was in a fit and instantly said yes and is now planning on selling her stocks and using all the money to pay for this treatment. I'm not sure how to tell her I don't think thats a good idea when it's something that she, as anyone would be when it comes to there pet, is so emotional about. She'll be pretty much broke after this and she isn't working so I'm not sure how how she plans to pay living expenses until she graduates and finds a job.
TL;DR: | GF's dog requires $15,000 visit. Don't think she should do it given the dogs age. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24M] girlfriend [23F] of 2 years left while I was away from home without a word. I'm destroyed. What can I do?
POST: So 3 days ago, me and my girlfriend got into a bit of an argument. Nothing I would even consider a break up or even a cool down period being worth. I left to go to an event we already had left, but she decided to stay home to cool off so we don't escalate things, which I understood so I just went alone to mingle with everyone.
When I got back a couple hours later, she was gone. All her belongings were gone, I was blocked on every form of social media, and she left her cell phone in the house. I searched every location she could potentially be at and didn't find her. I went to her work just to see if her car was in the parking lot during her normal scheduled hours, and she wasn't there. I called her manager and he said that she no longer works there. None of her friends have heard from her. It's as if she just never existed.
We were talking about marriage, kids, our future home, and it seemed so perfect.
After 2 years, I don't even get a goodbye. What the hell can I do to make this better for myself?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 2 years left while I was away. Haven't heard from her in 3 days. What can I do to start the healing process? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (28,M) and my gf (26,F) need advice about how to handle my female best friend...
POST: Been dating 9 months.
My best friend is a female who has been dating the same guy for about a year and a half. We met on a dating website, went on a couple dates, made out once, but both decided we are better as friends and that is how it has been for two years. I am friends with her boyfriend, no issues there.
I jokingly refer to her as my life coach as she often helps me think through work, relationship, friendship problems and she's good at it as she has a degree in psychology.
Started dating my current gf and my best friend is excited to meet her, get to know her, etc. All good signs. My gf had some insecurities from past relationships.
My gf went through my tablet at 2 months into our relationship and found things from past relationships that upset her which caused her further distrust. At that point I said she can look through whatever whenever.
At 8 months my best friend and my gf do not get along. My best friend doesn't think she is right for me and thinks she is controlling and is pulling me away from my friends. My girlfriend has read texts from her saying these type of things and we argue about how I need to just cut my best friend out of my life.
Recently my gf has been distant and pulled away. I got sick of arguing about the things my best friend may text so I have deleted rude things she says which my gf then finds out and is upset.
My gf solution is to basically cut her out, if she texts just be short, brief and we will not hang out with her and her boyfriend anymore. I realize I made a mistake by deleting these items but I for the most part just get tired of arguing about it... Advice?
TL;DR: | my gf and my best friend don't get along. My gf wants me to stop interaction, I don't know how to create a win win? I have deleted texts that may upset my gf... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F non-Jewish] with my Jewish lover/fuck buddy [30 M] of two months, should I stop before getting hurt ?
POST: I've met him preparing for consulting internships. He's Jewish (although an Atheist) and intends to marry a Jewish girl, which is something I can respect. He's also older, well-off, and simply in a different place in life than I am. I never expected more than a bit of fun getting into this relationship. I thought I was all grown-up and could manage these "FWB" things that are all the rage.
The catch is that he is very gentle and affectionate : I've slept in his arms, he calls me "sweetheart", reads me his favorite historical comics, takes me to dinner, tells me that he's missed me each time we see each other, pours his heart out about growing up in his family, his exes... Sex is the best I've ever had.
I made it very clear that he should never buy me anything : I don't want him to be my sugar daddy, and I can take care of myself financially speaking.
I don't have much experience and, although he is not my first partner, he is my first "fuck buddy" arrangement. He insists that I call myself his lover or mistress (but he is single...) ; I like to call things as they should be called.
Despite the great connection I'm feeling, I am trying very hard not to get too attached. I know how Jewish men often spend time with "goy" women before settling down. I'm not interested in being introduced to his friends or family either - but as time passes, I do want to be loved and cherished, to have the freedom of loving and cherishing. Guess I'm a romantic.
Last night he told me he "can't help feeling a great tenderness" for me.
On one hand, I want to stop things before getting hurt, on the other, I fear regretting what could be a true love story. What should I do ?
TL;DR: | seeing a 30-year old Jewish consultant who will never be serious about me - but I think he's falling in love, and I'm on the verge of letting myself fall for him too. Is it time to flee ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [21M] of three years just broke up with me [20F]
POST: He broke up with me at first and said the reason was that he lost feelings for me, of course I was crying up a storm and he then said he would like a break and will let me know how he feels in a weeks time. To decide whether he want to be with or if those feelings come back. He is also coming back in December and said he also wanted to see if he felt anything when seeing me.
ALSO all of this was done over Skype chat, he is currently in university and i know many will say ldr is a sure reason to break up. He said he was unhappy for sometime and confirmed it isn't because he found someone else. I don't know what to do and I highly doubt he will find those feelings within a week. I'm sad as poop. He said he loved me a little and now my face hurts from crying so much. Should I also eat, I haven't eaten in two days :(
TL;DR: | (ex-ish) Bf said he doesn't love me anymore and left. What to do, is there any hope left? Currently on a somewhat break. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] just broke up with my GF [21] of 7 months, and want to help her come to terms with what she wants
POST: So I had been dating this girl for 7 months and we just broke up. Reason being, was that a lot of things were going on 2 weeks prior to it. Brace yourselves:
We see each other virtually everyday especially since I am carless for the time being (saw each other a lot before then as well), and relied on her car. I got into a major car accident that left me handicapped (left arm), and out of work. Now, because I am unable to care for myself, she has been helpful in my time of need. After dealing with virtually everything along the way (lawyered up, getting her car towed, renting a car, daily tasks, and going to Hawai'i; which helped a bit), she was unhappy. She knew I would do everything for her (she stated 110%), while she was only giving 80% but wants to reciprocate more. She's torn, and it left me in shambles not knowing where to go from there.
We ended up just breaking up and ended as friends. We both want to be with each other, but the difference between us is that I know what I want in us and see a more prospective future than she does. No matter what I say to validate it, I know it's up to her to figure it out. As much as I want to be with her, I have to let her go, but I also want to help her come to terms with what she wants and ultimately what makes her happy in the long run. I just need suggestions as what I can do or say to help her get there. I want to be selfish in this sense in leading her to be more positive, and in hopes that she will see what I see, and believe in what I believe wholly.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend (now ex) is finding it hard what to do with our current relationship on where she stands. What are some suggestions to help her come to terms to bring the best from her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's your best "that could have been a scene in a movie" story?
POST: Whether it involved you directly or you just witnessed it, tell me about a time when something happened that could have been scripted for a movie.
For me, it was when I was living in South Korea teaching English ('05-'07). I was in a band, and we were playing shows pretty much every weekend, mostly in our hometown (Cheongju) or up in Seoul.
One club we played in Itaewon (Seoul's foreigner ghetto - adjacent to a giant US Army base) was called the Big Electric Cat. At around 2-3 a.m. we were in the middle of our second set when the MPs came around checking for soldiers breaking curfew. As soon as they walked in the door, a girl who was up at the front jumps on stage and asks if we could play Sweet Child O' Mine, which we'd never played in concert because neither of our (male) singers could sing Axl.
She was hot, so our lead guitarist just starts the opening riff, and we played through the entire song. If not without a hitch, without any major screw-ups at all, and she sang like a beast. In short, it was great.
By the time we were done, the crowd had thinned slightly because the MPs had caught their targets and left with them. After we finished the song and took a break between sets, we found out that our guest singer was also a soldier, and the whole thing had just been a hail-mary ploy to stay out at the bar and avoid being hauled back to base by the MPs.
TL;DR: | A girl jumped up on stage and sang a song with my band to avoid being dragged away by Military Police for breaking curfew.* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [30F] can't stop thinking about cheating on SO [30M] of 4 years, should I break up? [currently living together]
POST: I need advice. I have the urge to sleep with other men. To be clear, I have never cheated and I won't, but it's all I can think about. It's about the third time I get this obsessed in our 4-year relationship. I have started chatting with a man online and I am thinking about flying half way across the world to sleep with him. For the past few days I can't stop thinking about all the ways we would fuck.
My current SO is great, and we get along really well. We don't have sex that much anymore though, I guess we lost the passion. I think that I still love him AND we live together. I feel like a terrible person but I can't shake the urge, and I don't want to hurt him. Anyway I bring this up will hurt his feelings.
TL;DR: | I feel like cheating and won't, but am wondering if I should break up. I feel terrible about having to hurt him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [30 F] boyfriend [30 M] of over 6 years broke up with me and I'm struggling.
POST: My boyfriend and I had been together for a little over 6 years. A little over a month ago, he told me that he no longer wants to be together. He said that he still loves me but isn't "in love" with me.
In the last couple of weeks, I have moved out. Halloween is my favoriate holiday and today has been so difficult; I feel so sad. I have friends, but honestly most of them are going through their own shit with life or are so exceedingly happy that I don't even want to bother. Hence the reason, I am on here hanging my dirty laundry.
I am seriously heartbroken. I try to not to think about it and have been doing the whole, "keep busy" thing, but I have been struggling today. I feel immense pain, but put on a happy face. I have been told I am a strong person, but I feel nothing but emptiness.
For those that have been in a long term relationship, what advice do you have to help me get through this?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me and I am struggling with living my life single. What advice to you have to help me through this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19F) am a sore loser and don't take criticism well. I want to change that but don't know how.
POST: Not sure where to start. I used to play lots of sports and wasn't very competitive but lately I've noticed that I've become a sore loser and get frustrated easily when I'm losing anything or not doing well.
Example 1: Today I played racquetball for the first time. I had gone to a tennis camp or two when I was young so I didn't think I would be horrible but I was the worst of the 4. I was frustrated because I was making my team lose, no matter who my partner was, and they had to do rock paper scissors to see who would get "stuck" with me as their teammate (the other 3 had been playing for awhile together). I was clearly frustrated and my boyfriend, who was playing with us, asked me repeatedly if I had fun because I didn't look happy. I enjoyed playing but feeling like the last kid being picked for dodge ball doesn't make anyone happy, it made me feel like a burden.
Criticism relates to this because I get frustrated when I'm being offered criticism, particularly when it's a game.
Example 2: I was playing a new card game with my boyfriend and 2 of our other friends. I was on a team with my boyfriend and 1 of the other 2 players hadn't played the game before. We were playing but I messed something up and they laughed at me for doing it and then proceeded to tell me all of the other ways I could have played my hand better than I did. I know I was new to the game and I didn't expect to win.
I could give more examples but you get the idea. It isn't even really losing, I don't mind if I'm last but I hate being so far behind everyone else in skill that I look like an idiot and then I'm critiqued like an idiot. I'm trying to be mindful of all of this but I still just get frustrated and take criticism as personal attacks and feel hurt.
TL;DR: | I've become a very sore loser and become hurt when I am critiqued. I want to change and become more positive but I don't even know where to start |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] parents won't let me go on an overnight spring break trip that's only 4 hours away. Do I give them time and bring it up again, or do I give up?
POST: I'm 22 years old and in nursing school. I spend most of my time studying, and for the most part, I'm a pretty good kid. It's finally spring break, and I want to take a 2 day trip with my boyfriend to a city that's 4 hours away, just to get away. My bf is 24, and he already took time off of work so we could go on this trip (I know, I should have asked my mom before he took time off, but I thought she was going to say yes because she's let us take a trip out of the city before.) Anyway, the reason my mom said no is because she's afraid it's dangerous.
She says I should finish school first, and then I'll have the time and freedom to do whatever I want. I see where she's coming from, but it's frustrating because I'm not asking for much at all. She wouldn't be paying for anything. But I'm wondering if I should give her a little bit of time before bringing it up again, or should I just give up? I really want to get away for a little bit.
TL;DR: | My parents won't let me go on a trip with my boyfriend because they're worried for my safety. Do I bring it up again or do I just let it be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by referencing a popular 90's informercial product during foreplay
POST: This happened many, many moons ago during my freshman year of college.
After a late night of partying, I ended up taking a woman back to my dorm. Luckily, my roommate was out of town for the weekend. As soon as the door shuts behind us, we immediately start locking lips and putting our hands all over each other. Before too long, articles of clothing began flying off our bodies. Finally, I had reached the big finale. I pulled her panties off and I very shocked to find an extremely thick, hyper-rampant bush begin to puff out after being released from the pressure of her clothing.
Somehow, there must have been a synapse or two that misfired because what came out of my mouth was not exactly what I had been thinking. My brain had royally fucked something up along the way.
I looked into her eyes, then looked down at her sasquatchesque bush, then looked back into her eyes and said "Cha-cha-cha-chia".
Her face went from a honey and milk pale to a very dark shade of fire engine red, and it was extremely obvious even in the shadows of the dark room. She scoffed, scrambled to put her clothes back on, stormed out the room, and slammed the door behind her.
TL;DR: | I almost slept with a girl. She had a huge bush. I compared it to a chia pet. I did not get laid. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/M] my gf [21/f] who I have a serious relationship with and planning on marrying soon mentions her ex too often
POST: It obviously bothers me as everywhere I've read and everything I've experienced indicates this is a huge red flag. I've already brought it up that she mentions him too much and she said she just wants to be honest with what's on her mind. I explained i appreciate her honesty and openness but the problem that he's still on her mind that much I fear will jeopardize our relationship. I'm not flawless either, in the past I've gotten more upset at minor things and I'm a very territorial alpha. I'm having trouble finding a balance of showing her I'm not a rebound, not to be pushed around, that I love and care for her, and at the same time being open to discussion.
TL;DR: | serious relationship, gf brings up ex more than I care for. Need to tell her to cut the shit without sounding like huge dick. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [30M] found a condom in my gf [22F] of one year's bag, and we don't use condoms. I want to break up. Am I overreacting?
POST: She has been acting suspicious lately, and we had a few fights about her lying about where she was and what she was doing during drunken nights. She always had a reasonable explanation, but it broke down my trust in her, so I started doing little things like checking her phone and looking around her apartment to see if there's anything suspicious. I didn't think she was cheating, I was mostly just keeping my guard up and playing it safe rather than trying to find "proof".
Yesterday I found a condom in a bag of hers. We haven't used condoms in at least 6 months. This was the last straw for me. I haven't confronted her, and am considering checking the bag to see if the condom gets used. I checked the same bag about two weeks ago and there was no condom in it.
I don't know anymore. Is it just blatantly obvious that she's cheating, or should I cool off and see what she has to say for herself? The thing is, even if she has some kind of reasonable explanation, I don't know if I would believe her. There's been too many questionable situations lately. She always has an explanation, but I've caught her in lies and I don't trust her.
TL;DR: | Gf has been acting suspicious, I found a condom in her bag which we don't use, not sure if I should assume cheating and break it off or if I should listen to what she has to say about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] ended things with my Girllfriend [22 F] of 2 years, and accused her of being unfaithful. I was wrong.
POST: I [22 M] ended things with my Girllfriend [22 F] of 2 years, I was told from a friend that she was unfaithful with him. When confronted about it she denied it, but she had lied to me about something about a year ago, while he was always honest with me. So I didn't believe her and ended things. This wound up being a terrible mistake, as I later found out the situation was more along the lines of him trying to take advantage of her when she had been drinking, and he was lying to cover himself. We had a lot of fighting before I found out the truth and I told my ex that she should move on. When I found out the truth, I told her how sorry I was and that I wanted to be with her.
She had taken my advice and moved on, she went out three times with a new guy and told me that she liked him and would need some time to think about things as I really hurt her. She asked me to give her two weeks to think about things.
I understand I was the one who made the mistake, I understand her actions. But I can't sleep, I can't even go a moment without thinking about how much I regret my actions, And I can't stop thinking about the decision that she'll make.
I truly love her, and I see her in my future. But I'm not sure if I'm too late. She has recently told me that she sees me in her future too, and we shared a list of things we need to work on if the relationship resurfaces.
The biggest thing I could ask for from the reddit community is someone who has gone through a similar situation to tell me how you got through a time period of uncertainty and regret with a significant other. As I just feel like I have hit rock bottom right now..
TL;DR: | I accused someone I love of lying when I should have believed them. They may forgive me and we can get back together, but it may take time. How do you get through that time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] got a drunk call off [24 M] that I've recently started seeing, do drunk calls mean anything?
POST: So I'm 21 and before now the only guys that have been into me have been my own age and have had a lot of growing up to do. I've had drunk phone calls before, but they've always been some guy's after someone to sleep with at 3am in the morning... which isn't really my thing especially when I've taken all my makeup off and I'm in an old baggy T-shirt.
So I'm seeing a new guy who's roughly 3 years older than I am. He's not a fantastic texter, as in it takes him a while to text back, but when he does, they are paragraphs of everything about his day and asking me about mine, so i try and not let the time it takes him to text me back bother me.
However he rang me last night at 3:40am, clearly drunk while he was walking through his front door of his house, he asked me if i had company and when I said no, he told me it was okay if I did because we hadn't discussed what we were after that he told me he was in bed then said goodnight and I thought it was the end of that.
20 minutes later he called me again and asked me about the night I went out this week and asked me if I pulled anyone as cool as him, I asked him why he kept calling me and asking me questions like that and he whispered 'Because I really like you' but when I asked him to repeat it he wouldn't.
He text me this morning apologizing and I've text him back telling him not to worry, but it's been about 5 hours now and he's not replied. We are going on a date tomorrow though so I'm not too worried about that.
I was told that when a guy calls when he's drunk he's just after sex, but it just seemed like he wanted to talk to me. What does this phone call really mean? and do guys mean what they say when they're drunk?
TL;DR: | They guy I'm seeing drunk called me asking me if I'd been seeing other guys and told me that he really liked me. Do guys mean what they say when they are drunk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Could use some help coping with the termination of a 1.5 year relationship. (x-post /r/relationships)
POST: I like to think we ended on as good of terms as possible. There was no cheating, no infidelity. We are simply two people who loved each other very much, but are heading down two very different paths. I (21M) am leaving college in less than three months and will likely be moving across the country for employment. She (20F), still two years away from graduation, would be left behind.
We exchanged many supportive and caring words to one another. These types of break ups are never easy, because there is no anger to deflect. I hold nothing against her and I really and truly hope that she finds what she is looking for.
In the meantime I would like some advice if that's possible. I have never before been through an amicable breakup. I don't feel as sad as I thought I might, although I am sure that part of that is just dealing with the initial shock of it all. Do any of you have advice on what I should be doing? I would like to see one of our school counselors during their walk-in hours, because I think it would be helpful to talk to someone. It would also be nice to hear some anecdotal advice from you all - how did you cope?
TL;DR: | 1.5 year relationship ended on amicable terms due to uncertainty of future. Looking for support, advice, and advice from those who have been in similar shoes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I[M19] need some help
POST: So I recently started College and in one of my classes I met this very cute girl, now my problem is that I can't talk to her that easily, we have talk before, she knows my name and I know hers, we have a made a lot of eye contact(basically from 15 to 45 seconds every day), what scares me the most is stuff like: "what if she thinks that I'm a stalker" or "what if she already has a boyfriend" or "what if she only sees me as friend", it's not only that but I'm afraid of other people also thinking I'm a stalker, this thoughts are what makes it so hard for me to interact with her more. So truth is I'm asking for advice and/or tips or basically what I should do or say it would really help. And yes before someone ask I have already made other friends both male and female.
TL;DR: | cute girl in my class but because of my social "ability" and way of thinking I can't make any conversation or interact a lot more with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Worried College Student
POST: I'm worried because I've been having difficulty filling out my fafsa form and I believe it's late. An error is occuring stating I make too much for the amount I was awarded from grants, etc. Unfortunately, the contact hours for fafsa interfere with my jobs and current classes and are closed on the weekends.
My mother is waiting to hear back from our advisor about our taxes as well. The deadline for fafsa in my state was apparently March 1st, but federally the deadline is June 30th. Did I screw myself badly for financial aid in the fall and winter semesters?
TL;DR: | may have missed the deadline for fafsa and I'm worried how that may effect my education. Will I have to take personal loans if I missed the fafsa deadline? *format is on phone, sorry for any errors |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28 F] mother [60 F] said something horrible to me today and I'm not sure what to do now.
POST: I went to lunch with my parents today and it was nice - I have a good relationship with both of them and enjoyed our time together. On the drive back to the house, my father and I were joking around about how I am almost 30, and I asked my mom how she feels about having such an old daughter.
She said something along the lines of "you're lucky to have made it this far - I thought about killing you as a child. You were the most difficult child." I told her that it's not funny to joke about things like that, and she said that she wasn't joking. I told her that it was very hurtful to say something like that, but all she would say is that she doesn't want to kill me anymore. I guess it might seem kind of silly, typing it out now, but it did not seem like she was joking around at all.
I am not sure what to do now. I just went home and cried the whole rest of the day. I have a good relationship with my parents and wouldn't want to hurt my mother's feelings by giving her the cold shoulder or anything, but when I told her how hurt I felt by her saying that she didn't apologize, or assure me that she was just joking, or anything. I don't think I've ever been so hurt by something that someone has said to me before. I am nervous about the next time I interact with her because I feel so horrible, I don't know how to react. We work in the same area, so she invites me to lunch often and emails me throughout the day, et cetera.
TL;DR: | My mother (seemingly sincerely) expressed that she thought about killing me when I was a child. I don't know how to interact with her after this because I feel very hurt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18F] Friend's [19F] current weight loss has made me insecure and I lashed out.
POST: From reading this subreddit, I know full honesty will get me the best advice so here goes:
Growing up I was the skinny, pretty friend out of us. I silently took pride when other people made comments about it or that I rocked a dress better than her. In a sick, twisted way it made me feel confident.
I have recently gained the freshman 40 and let my general appearance go. Due to stress of freshman year I couldn't keep up with the hottest trends or even my skin care routine. Wrinkles and dark circles everywhere.
Now that it's Summer, I started hanging out with my old friend again and she looks amazing. Her skin cleared up and she learned fashion/hair/etc. But the biggest difference is her body. She has lost a lot of weight and toned. I think her birth control even made her boobs bigger(?).
I couldn't help but feel envious when people complimented her. I know that sounds bitchy, but it's true. Sometimes I'd find myself thinking that she'd get fat again or her boobs would disappear once her pills ran out.
I'm terrible, I know.
I made the mistake yesterday of verbally expressing my jealousy towards her out of anger.
We were shopping at the mall and I tried on a dress I liked. The dress didn't come closed all the way and I became pissed off. My friend offered helpful words, telling me that maybe we could get a bigger size and I lost it.
It was like I wasn't in control what came out of my mouth and I confessed everything to her. She ran off crying and now she won't answer her phone.
TL;DR: | Old friend got hot at college while I got not. I became jealous and lashed out at her. I want to say sorry, but she won't answer her phone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [49M] with my wife [46F] 23yrs married, wife is dumping on son's GF for the same behavior that my wife did years ago.
POST: I'm Homer, my wife is Madge. Our son Bart (22M), and his GF (22F) Tiffany have been together about 2 years.
So, somehow Madge knows about Tiffany being in uncomfortable communication / situations with other guys. Bart said that Tiffany had to make a choice, whether they were together/monogamous or not. I assume that Bart told Madge. Don't know. Anyway, Tiffany picked Bart and cut off the other stuff a year ago.
This was a year ago. Now Madge holds this against Tiffany. I think that Madge only says this crap to me. I hope so. But she's all about "Tiffany can't be trusted because of (crapbefore) and I'm worried about Bart." Then I say something about how young they were/are. Then it repeats later in time.
I'm afraid that Madge will speak out to someone else. Or maybe already has.
The thing is, that this is not nearly as bad as the crap that Madge put me through years ago. Madge had this exBF named Mo, and she kept having this effed up relationship with him, essentially going on dates, and always saying, "that's over, and we're just friends." I was an inch away from dumping Madge over her relationship with Mo many times. But, as you have guessed, Madge was super hot, and I let it go for a long time.
Question: should I tell Madge to drop the bashing of Tiffany because Madge(25 years ago) was worse than Tiffany(1 year ago), and we should give Tiffany the same slack that Madge received years ago. I really feel like unloading on this, which is why I just shut up.
TL;DR: | My wife is bashing son's GF for the same things that she (my wife) did 25 years ago. Should I point out the hypocrisy to make it stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my GF [24 F] 2 years, Broke up with me out of now where just weeks before I move to her city
POST: I have been dating my gf from just over 2 years. Much of it has been long distant and all along I have been clear about how difficult it is going to be and that it is okay if she wants to break it off. She adimently was against it and I truly felt confident enough in our relationship to take a job in the city she lives in and move there.
Over the weekend I drove down to her city with her dad and we found an apartment I signed. We were all excite and eveything seemed fine.
The next day, she ignores me all day, calls at 11p and tells me she wants to figure out her identity and she can't do it with a boyfriend. Basically our entire relationship was leading up to this big step of me taking a job in her city, finding and apartment and going from there. As soon as it all came together she bails.
She unfriends me on facebook, my entire family and a few of my close friends.
What in the world is going on?
TL;DR: | Committed to moving to a new city to be with her beyond changing an plans, she dumps me and I am stuck in the city now after signing a lease and accepting a job offer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my girlfriend [19F] 3 months refuses to let me close goes crazy if Im distant
POST: Met this girl at university and against all my best judgements we began a relationship even though we live together. Started out great but began to learn that she has been through a lot with a close friend who took their life. This is as far as it goes and refuses to open up or let me close.
She has self harmed but has never told anyone before so I can't help but want to be there for her.
Well now I am sat on my floor for what seems like a week because she says it's easier to not have anyone close and we shouldn't see each other.
I've thought about it and If it's easier for her then that's all I want for her. But its killing me because now I can't face her and she's metres away with the rest of the flat like nothing is wrong and it really makes me angry.
I started of being with her because I loved her company and how beautiful she is, but now I find myself getting angry at her and full of hate. She can't come to my face and tell me she doesn't care about us anymore and this makes it impossible to move on because if she is just doing this so she can avoid letting someone close even though she has feelings for me then I will find it impossible to forget about her
If anyone has any advice I could really use some right now. Thanks guys.
TL;DR: | girl scared of feelings, boy being pushed away and doesn't know if he should give up on her or how to move on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: To all employers
POST: I recently got an offer to work for a new (to me) company. It is a fairly big company, at least here in southern California. It would be a good jump for me as I'm getting ready to transfer to a 4 year soon ( a year roughly) and I would have the option to transfer. After filling out all my paper work I realized I filled out a previous employer verification ect. Well, I am starting to stress a little. I feel I have done a good job. I go in 4/5 times they ask me to go in (when I'm not scheduled). I usually stay after my scheduled time if Im asked to. Lastly, I make deliveries (even though when I started I was told all i needed to do was X and Y, not Z. Z being deliveries) whenever I'm asked to. Its a family run business and I do my best to be flexible with their schedules. What I'm most scared about is they are going to say I'm a terrible worker since I'm their only employee and they would want to keep me. My question is I assume the phone call to my previous employer is important, but could it jeopardize my chance of getting hired? I was hired through mainly good word, I don't want to soil my buddies reputation, and most importantly I need the money for gas that my job provides to get to and from school.
TL;DR: | How powerful are the previous implorer checks? Could my current employer sabotage my chance of getting hired at a new job? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/22] told my friend [F/22] I had feelings for her shortly after she broke up with her boyfriend. How can I make this work?
POST: I have been very close friends with a girl I met in college over the past three years and have developed feelings for her. We have hung out a lot one-on-one in the past and have a lot of the same values and interests. She was in a relationship for around 5 months (3+ months were over the summer, long distance) with a guy that she recently broke up with. The same week that she broke things off, I told her how I felt. We had hung out twice after the breakup and I just needed to let her know where I stood because I knew we'd be talking and being around each other more, and I wanted to be perfectly clear with what my intentions were.
She told me that she enjoys hanging out with me and the time we spend one-on-one, but emotionally she's not ready for anything right now. I totally understood and reassured her I didn't want to put any pressure on her/start a relationship, I just had to let her know how I felt.
We've talked about it one other time since then and she basically said the same thing: not ready to start anything, still sorting things out. She also said that she still wants to act like nothing has changed and keep hanging out like normal.
I'm just worried because she hasn't given a clear indication on where I stand in her eyes. I understand that she needs time and its difficult for her to think of anyone else as more than a friend at this point. I know that she likes being around me, I'm just not sure if she can see me as a boyfriend/someone she is sexually attracted to.
For now, I'm going to try to be a great friend to her and wait until she's ready to open up again emotionally. I'm torn because I would love to start a relationship with her (or at least have her tell me how she really thinks about me), but I also really care about her and I know I have to give her time until she is ready.
What should I be doing right now to possibly help things along in the future?
TL;DR: | Told good friend I liked her shortly after her breakup. Not ready for anything right now, wants to keep things normal for the time being. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] dated for 11 months, I just broke up with her because I found out I was a side piece. Did I do the right thing?
POST: This past weekend, after being suspicious that my girlfriend of almost 1 year was not telling the truth about her life (i.e. work, school, schedule, etc.), I caught her living with another man at her parents' house and end up telling him that I'm the other guy. I later come to find out that she's been dating him for the last 7 years and was having an affair with me to get back at him for cheating 5 years prior.
Aside from the fact that I'm still hurting from finding out the truth, I can't help but still have feelings for her. I honestly thought she was "The One" and it's hard for me to overlook how compatible I thought we were and how much we had a connection.
In my search for answers online, I kept seeing the predominant theme be that women cheat "when their significant other is either not satisfying them emotionally, sexually, or both" and that women typically have affairs with men who they perceive as being better for them than their significant other.
With that said, does that mean I should give her another chance because technically she didn't cheat on me but on her boyfriend of 7 years? One part of me is telling me that she'll cheat on me like she cheated on the last guy but the other side of me is telling me that I would never let our relationship get to the point where she was not emotionally or sexually stimulated anymore. Moreover, her significant other technically cheated on her first so her actions are just a response to it.
Anyways, what do you guys think? Is this a relationship I should salvage or should I forget her and start looking for someone better? I can't tell if I'm still love-drunk or if I'm thinking logically. Any advice would be awesome. Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | Should I get back with my girlfriend if I was just the side piece and technically she was cheating on him not me? Can she still be faithful with me even if she wasn't with the last guy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have never cheated or though about cheating on my girlfriend, but does this make me a scumbag?
POST: Over the last few weeks I've developed a small crush on a girl in my history class. I've been with my current girlfriend for a year and am happy with where we are. For some reason I have an attraction to her, and I stare quite creepily. I have no intention of hitting on her or making an impression, I just like looking at her. Today is the second class she hasn't been in since the exam, although i see her in the building of my major often. I think she dropped the class and am extremely butthurt is this justified? Am I a bad person?
TL;DR: | I'm in a commited relationship and have a crush on a girl in my class, but have no intentions. Is this a bad thing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [16 F] of a year, I think I've moved on, but she is planning her future around our relationship
POST: Backstory: I met my girlfriend for the first time when we were still in high school at a talent show where I fell in love with her performance. I asked her out afterward, enthralled by the beauty of her and her music. So far our relationship has been pretty normal for people of our age; I went off to college about 45 minutes away and can only see her on weekends.
Current situation: I still think my girlfriend is beautiful and kind and a truly wonderful person, just not the one for me. I think I've outgrown her and I hate to say it but some days I feel more like her dad and homework tutor then her boyfriend. She is extremely dependent on me for school help and assumes i'll be around forever to help her. She gave up music and lots of her friends to try a lot harder in school so that she could get admitted to the same University I attend. I think it's great she made this change, but I don't love what our relationship has become. To be blunt I want someone "on my level" in life and intellectually. I want knowledge and new experiences to flow both ways and it just isn't happening.
When we hang out or do anything, she makes me make all the decisions and never seems to have her own opinion. I actually dread our time together because it's usually very boring and filled with her complaining or silence. She is extremely gullible and believes in hocus pocus stuff like rocks that absorb bad energy, and that ghosts are real; I find this kind of naive ignorance extremely unattractive. Up to this point I've overlooked this aspect of her but now find it the only thing I can see in her.
Basically I don't think I love her anymore, but I am her only friend, school tutor, and "the only thing that gets her through the week". Is it wrong for me to want this? Am I grasping at some magical beautiful, interesting, intelligent woman that doesn't exist?
How do I break up with someone who will have to remake their current life to get on without me? My girlfriend is very happy with our relationship and in love with me, but I don't want this relationship with this dynamic.
TL;DR: | I have outgrown my younger girlfriend who is very dependent on me. Do you think our relationship has just gone stale? If not, how do I break up with her in a way that she can get over me easily? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: He's just being friendly... OR IS HE?
POST: I'm a little concerned...
The husband of an old acquaintance of mine suddenly reached out to me on Facebook and has been emailing me a lot, just making conversation, inviting me to baseball games, asking to meet up for coffee.
I only met him once years ago, very briefly .. and I don't even remember that encounter.
I'm totally weirded out by this, I really hope he's not trying to get some side-nooky, esp since I know his wife and her family.
Another married guy sought me out on myspace and has been trying to get together with me for a few months now.. I keep putting it off.
Married guys who don't hide their marriage and ask me out on dates sans their SOs worries me! Should I worry? Or is this normal and they are just being friendly and expanding their social circles?
I would like to confront them but I feel like I'm just being overly suspicious and I don't want to ruin an innocent friendship by assuming it's much more than it is!
TL;DR: | should I worry about publicly married men who ask me out? Are you a married man who asks single ladies out just to hang out? Are you expecting it to lead to anything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf [30m] and I [32f] trying to get pregnant and I'm scared it won't happen...
POST: So...I have Fertility issues and it's quite honestly been my dream to have a child. And I have been married before and was going through Fertility but when we were in the brink of getting pregnant he passed away. I thought my dream died with him. However by pure fate I reconnected with my bf who I have known for over 14 years and i adore. We have even just celebrated our 1 year anniversary. Well, he agreed to try and have a baby. And he seems so excited. But if it doesn't happen...I just don't know how I will feel. I thought i wanted a baby before and now with him it just feels sooooo right. More so than with my husband. I can't explain it.
But with that comes the awful realization that if It comes down to me not being able to get pregnant that I would be taking that away from him. He says that whatever happens will happen but I still have that sense of dissapointment because I know he would be a great father. Anyone else had this issue?
TL;DR: | going through fertility treatment and I'm worried to dissapoint my bf if I can't get pregnant because I have Fertility issues. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f22) got a text from a friend from which I found out the bf (m21) is not being straight with me
POST: Hi Reddit,
I need your help to figure this ASAP. I've been having so much problems with my bf of 3 years because he's been going places he's not supposed to and generally going against what we hoped for a successful relationship. So I broke up with him last week, until 3 days ago, he came back crying hysterically and in a way I've never seen him before. He said he regretted it all and wanted me back, and this time it will be right.
So I took him back, but about an hour ago, I received a text message from his male friend who I'm also friends with. He basically said he bumped into him 2 days ago at a place that my bf never mentioned he was there at the time, and that they both agreed to go to a bar anytime soon...... I didn't believe him at first. But he sounded so real. I'm having doubts now. He doesn't have any proof, but given my bf's past instances, it's hard not to believe. Yet, he did come back crying and begging.....
What the fuck is going on, and what am I supposed to do? I did some screen shots of the convo between the guy and I and sent it to my bf. As calm as I was, I said, I need an explanation....
He's still asleep... What do I do?
TL;DR: | I got a text from a friend from which I found out the bf is not being straight with me, I don't know who to believe. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: WHAT IS TINDER?! and how can I know if my girlfriend(F/24) cheated?
POST: So yesterday we spoke and we were talking about everything we did when we were on a break, she said she didn't cheated she told me(M/26) about the times she went out with her friends and everything she did, I chose to believe her, I told her that if she did something that was the time to tell me because if I found out later we would break up, she said nothing happened just some guys flirted with her but she turned them down, but then she said something that sounded as a record being scratched "oh and I started to use an app called Tinder, just for fun".
IF IM NOT MISTAKEN Tinder is a dating app that uses your facebook profile, suddenly everything made sense:
- She deactivated her facebook account but like a day later she activated again, but now all her personal information was gone including that I had a relationship with her, even now that we're "back together" I can't see any of her information, her likes, her friends, some of her photos whereas before I could see everything, I asked some friends if they could see it and they couldn't see it either.
Since I have a dumbphone (I just don't care about phones) I don't know how this app works and I wanted to ask:
How can I know if she has been talking to someone on there?
What information does that app displays when it connects to facebook?
Does it keep any record about who are you talking to or something?
My brother has an iPhone 5s, can I look for her in the app?
I know I might be over reacting but to be honest, she changed a lot when we were on a break she acted weird, like secretive :(
TL;DR: | My girlfriend acted weird in a break, now she told me she downloaded an app called Tinder and I can't see any of her Facebook info. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not listening to the advice of the sex shop cashier
POST: So today I got home from work, tired and tense and in need of a shower. I immediately had the brilliant idea to take the edge off my mood with a little help from my brand new $100 vibrator, but I couldn't decide which to do first, the shower or the "me time". Another brilliant idea emerged: I could simply do both at the same time, and if it resulted in me lying in the bottom of my tub muttering heated endearments to my shampoo bottle, so be it.
The vibrator had been advertised as fully submergible so I didn't think there would be any problem with taking it into the shower, even though the cashier at Cirilla's had told me that that particular line of vibrators tended to have an issue with the charging port on the bottom where the seal would wear down after a recharge or two and no longer be waterproof. I ignored this nugget of wisdom in favor of awesome shower bliss and all seemed to be right with the world.
That is, until I actually checked the vibrator after using it. I was still in the shower but even still I could see definite droplets emerging from the charge port seal. Shit, I possibly ruined my new vibrator. I spent so much money on that thing. What could I do? I immediately had my magnum opus of brilliant ideas, which was to immediately try to suck out the water. The charge port wasn't on the business end so I figured it couldn't be that gross.
Cue the taste of blood to remind me it could be that gross because Aunt Flo was in town and apparently had accompanied the water up the charge port. There wasn't much water in the vibrator but I still got a definite taste of uterine lining. Nothing makes you realize your own stupidity like having to trace back the line of thought that made sucking liquid out of a recently used vibrator seem like a good idea. Vibrator still works though, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.
TL;DR: | Didn't believe my new expensive vibrator's advertising would lie to me so I ended up sucking period water out of it to try to save it from frying. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I'm 30/m she is 25/f I'm 99% sure I'm getting chucked tomorrow. Advice please?
POST: Hi guys, I've been lurking for a while, and this seems like such a supportive subreddit, I wanted to ask some advice. A little bit of background for you first.
I have been with my GF for about 5 months and for the past few weeks she has been acting very cold towards me. Always checking her phone and being very cagey. A week ago I decided to talk to her about it and ask her if everything was ok with us. She flipped out and said that she has been struggling with us for the past few weeks and she was angry that I hadn't said anything before.
Last week she said she wanted some space for a few days, to work out where her mind was, whether she wanted a relationship with me or at all.
Today she has asked me to come over to talk tomorrow night, she has said she has made her mind up. I've been in pieces since last week when we spoke because I don't want to lose her. I am normally a take it or leave it kind of guy when it comes to relationships, but she is different.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to force her to be with me because that is wrong. I'm pretty convinced she is going to end it. I've taken everything out of my house that reminds me of her and put it in a box so that if she doesn't end it, I can give her all the things and they are no longer my problem. That's the only step I've taken so far.
So guys, what do I do? How do I get over her? Do you think I've gone about this all wrong? Should I have been pre-emptive and ended it sooner?
Apologies if this doesn't make much sense, I've been out with the boys and had a few drinks since she texted me asking to meet!!
TL;DR: | probably breaking up with GF tomorrow. What do I do? How should I play things? What's next for me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Got drunk, made out, talked about too many feelings...
POST: So I [M/21/senior] have worked with a girl at my college [F/21/junior] for 2 years now. We are both in the same program. I've been in a long term relationship until this year, and now she recently got out of a few month long relationship. We have gotten coffee and lunch together, but only as coworkers splitting the bill etc.
Anyways, she texted me to meet up at a bar last weekend. Ended up back at her place after awhile, both kind of tipsy, made out, etc. I tried to advance things and she politely told me to slow things down.
She is going to be leaving for 3 months, 2 weeks from now. In my inebriated state I decided it was a good idea talk to about us possibly dating and confess my feelings for her. She obviously responded saying how its poor timing, she likes hanging out with me and I'm a good guy but yeah, timing. Ended up making out some more and she let me stay over in her bed since it was 4am at that point (nothing else happened). When we woke up, neither of us talked about what had happened, but me being the dummy that I am thought it was a good idea to kiss her as I left.
I texted her the next day saying we should talk about what happened and she said she was pretty drunk but being honest about the timing and her current situation. I stated that I was drunk and tired and was probably too forward about it but wasn't sure how to approach it given the situation. She essentially agreed and we haven't texted since...this was a week ago. We both ended up working at the same time this week and pretended as if nothing had happened.
Should I just let it go and leave her alone? I really want to text her and she if she wants to get lunch or even just study together since it is final exams. Would this come off as needy/desperate? Am I better off waiting until she gets back and let my fuck up blow over?
TL;DR: | Got drunk and made out with coworker. Confessed feelings, was awkward as fawk. Want to follow up without seeming needy, but she leaves for study abroad in 2 weeks. what do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the craziest thing you've experienced while drunk or high?
POST: Whether this has happened to you personally, or you witnessed it, i'd be curious to hear your best story. Here's mine.
I was going to a local school in the Northeast US (I'm not going to name it) back in 2007, and met a pretty cool dude named John. John was clearly a HUGE stoner, and that fact was apparent from the first day I met him. I had dabbled in smoking a few times before college, and certainly wasn't opposed to it. He knocked on my door on a Thursday night and asked me if I wanted to go on a burn run. Of course, I agreed, and we drove about 5 miles outside town. It was about 8:30pm and I had class the next day, but figuring we weren't going to be out long I didn't complain. We take a few rips off a pretty fat blunt and within a few minutes, are significantly high. Without telling me, he pulls into a random farm land and parks the car. He pulls a barbershop razor out of his center console and starts to get out of the car. Naturally, I ask him.. Where the hell are we, and wtf are you about to do with that?! He responds "we're at the Alpaca farm.. I'm gonna shave this Alpaca and make myself an Alpaca fur hoodie. I found this rather strange, but I went along with it. He shaves about half an Alpaca when a shotgun blasts pierces the air, and a pissed off farmer starts firing in our direction in the middle of the night. He quickly grabbed a handful of the fur we shaved off, we took off quickly, and he proceeded to make an Alpaca fur hoodie a few days later. Surprisingly, it was a pretty awesomely warm and stylish hoodie.. Who knew it would be such a great idea?
TL;DR: | My stoner friend broke into a farm, shaved an Alpaca, got fired on by an angry farmer, and friend proceeded to use the fur to make his hoodie. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23m) told my gf(19f) of only a few months that im falling in love with her, wasn't too happy with the response...
POST: so, I am a 23 y/o male, and VERY experienced at that. I have seen a lot of shit to know in a mature way who i am. One thing that i pride myself on is my ability to communicate, but not so good at "biting the bullet" when needed. anyways, i was chillin with my GF and she could tell something was wrong. So, after much struggle i told her i was falling in love with her. I am already considering this as a HUGE mistake. To give you some background, she broke up with her BF of 4 years to be with me and yes, they were in love. So I KNEW, there was no way she could be ready to consider using those words this soon....however, i must have forgotten that in the moment.
There has been an on going dilemma with the age gap. its not huge, but at this age it seems pretty substantial. Might have to do with the development of the frontal lobe.
Overall, i feel really connected with this girl. And I am so afraid i messed things up. IDK what im looking for on reddit, but I'm desperate.
TL;DR: | I told my GF im falling in love with her, but she may not be ready for it. Age gap and recent relationship may have something to do with it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am still infatuated with the guy I broke up with over two years ago [23M].
POST: Over two years ago, I ended a relationship with a guy I had been seeing for about nine months at the time. My reasons for ending the relationship were...not great. I was feeling very unsure about the relationship because several of my friends didn't like the guy and had been pressuring me to find someone "better." It sounds incredibly stupid in retrospect, but there it is.
Immediately after ending things, I was miserable and felt an enormous sense of regret. People told me that it's normal to feel that way after a breakup and that it would go away. Well, it's been two years now, and it hasn't gone away.
I still think about this guy on a daily basis, and I don't know what to do about it. I think back on our relationship and see that no one else has ever been kinder to me, more supportive of me, or more compatible with me.
The thing is, there's absolutely no chance of us getting back together, so I need to stop this. For one thing, he hates me, and we haven't spoken since around this time two years ago. After we broke up, I attempted to reconcile with him, and he refused -- I haven't contacted him or seen him since. For another thing, he moved halfway across the country, so there's not even a chance of us crossing paths anymore.
I have tried everything I can think of to shake this. I've long since deleted his number, we're not friends on any social media, I've dated other people, made lists of all the reasons I was unhappy with him, everything. But it doesn't go away. What do I do now?
TL;DR: | Two years ago I broke up with a guy, and I have massively regretted it since then. I'm still infatuated and can't get over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21f) told a silly lie to my boyfriend, (24m), and now I don't know how to fix it.
POST: Backstory: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and we have a child together. He's very into open communication, which is something that has always been very hard for me. I'm trying to be more open with him. But it's a learning process for me.
Anyway, a few days ago we went to visit some family and I went to pick up some food for everyone. I also stopped to visit a female friend at my old workplace. I thought my SO would be upset that I did. When I returned, he asked if I stopped by and I said no. Because I didn't want a silly argument. (Yes, I should have something so small, but I don't like confrontation and fighting so I thought I would skip the fight.) Yesterday, due to a message I received from my friend, SO found out. He was really angry. Not because I stopped by, but because I lied. Which I completely understand. I messed up. But now he's second guessing everything. I don't lie usually. But that was just something that didn't matter. So I didn't think it was a big deal. But of course, I made it an even bigger fight. He told me he didn't care if I stopped by but since I lied, I ruined things.
Is there a way to fix this? Do I just let him be until he seems okay? Or do I talk to him? I don't even know what to say.
TL;DR: | I told a stupid lie that blew into a huge fight that I wanted to avoid. How do I fix things so he's not second guessing everything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (24f) Met a guy (27), hit it off, then his longtime best girl friend said she loves him. Now what?
POST: I went on a date with this guy a month ago, and we hit it off like a house on fire. Our first date was 6 hours long. The conversation flows perfectly, we make each other laugh, and the sex is GREAT. After our first date, his best female friend (21f) found out he'd gone on a date and professed her love for him. He told her he needed time to figure out what he wants, and in the meantime we went on a bunch more dates.
He decided to be with the other girl, but as hard as we both try, we can't stay away from each other. It's like a magnet is pulling us together. When we see each other, it's passion like I've never experienced. But then we sit there and cry because there's no happy solution. I always resolve never to see him again, but then we see each other on the street and end up in bed again. Obviously, I want him to leave her, but if he doesn't I can't just sit around. I think I might be falling in love with him. Should I never see him again? What the hell do I do?
TL;DR: | Fell for someone, as soon as we started dating his female friend said she loves him, I feel like I'm competing with someone who's known him forever and I've known him for a month. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [33/F] did something for the family; my parents [72 M/F] sent me a check to thank me. Should I accept it?
POST: Update: Thank you guys very much. I deposited the check, and called my parents to say I will use some of it to fly home for an extra visit. :-)
As my parents get older, they are trying hard to visit places they've always wanted to see, while their health is still good. My husband and I like to travel, too, as do my sis and her husband. I realized there was one place on all of our lists, and suggested we go together. We've never done a family vacation before, but it seemed like a fun thing to try, and everyone agreed. I work freelance (less than I'd like), so I had the time to plan. I did the research, e-mailing everyone as I went to get their opinions, and then booked everything. (I guess I spent about a week on it, all totaled.) Along the way, my parents, incredibly generously, said they wanted to pick up the bill! We were all extremely grateful. The trip was really fun. We saw so many different things, and it was so great to spend the time together. Along the way, I picked up one or two expenses ($250 total), as a thank you. They didn't even want to let me do that, though! Afterward, I sent my parents a thank you for such a great gift. Well, they just sent ME a thank you--for the time I spent planning--and a check! Reddit--I don't feel right taking it--would you? My parents have money. I'm not particularly successful, but my husband is. My Mom said, "Dad will be very upset if you don't take it," and told me how much money I had saved them over the package tour they would have taken. My dad said, "You're going to do what you want to do, but I wish you would!" It just doesn't seem right! I did it because: Family!! And they're the ones who gave ME (and the rest of us) the gift of the trip! What do you think?
TL;DR: | I planned a family vacation, parents paid. Now they've sent me a check to thank me for the time spent planning. Should I accept the check? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: How can I stop being so lenient when it comes to the nutritional quality of food I eat?
POST: Hi everyone. I've been counting calories, lost 5lbs (yay) and I'm still going. I incorporate small healthy choices. I now eat at least one fruit and one vegetable a day, which is quite remarkable because I used to eat fruits or vegetables once a month. I've seriously cut down my beef and pork consumption (it's not outlawed, I just prefer chicken and turkey). Some days I do really well and I eat very cleanly. And then there were days like today where I ate my required fruit and vegetable and ate crap for the rest of the day. I don't outlaw any foods or else my douchebag brain thinks I'm deprived and I'm impulsed to eat more to make up for it. I do, however, stay in my calorie range. But there are times where I think I'm too lenient with myself.
There are days where I eat like a bird just so I can fit in a variety of some junk food later in the day. I did really good earlier-- I had an apple for breakfast, fresh cherries, pistachios, and cucumbers with a bit of babybell cheese spread for lunch. I could have budgeted in a sandwich or something more sustainable but I wanted to budget in fast food after work instead. So I did. I'm within my calories, but I find that my macros are always out of whack when I do this (and I do this often--at least twice a week). My question to you all is: how can I kick this addiction to junk and fast food? How can I stop being so lenient with the quality of the food I eat?
TL;DR: | I'm too lenient with myself on the foods I eat. If they fit into my calorie budget, I let them slide, even though I know some of the choices I make aren't healthy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my [23 F] "GF" of 3 months is sending mixed signals
POST: I have been dating this girl for three months and I will admit the relationship moved quite fast, but I was going with the flow as she was the one initiating the contact 90% of the time. By fast, we were spending weekends together after a month, met her parents, invited to family bday dinner. I never moved this fast with a girl but it felt right.
Now she got out of a two year relationship in the Summer, and there were some warning signs I was just a rebound. She kept comparing me to her ex, in a good way though. I called her out on this and asked her if she was oher that relationship, because I was fine giving her space to figure that out. She said she was completely over it.
Over the holidays we were visiting our respective family's, and didn't see each other for two weeks. She would text me everyday, and when we were both back in town we spent the weekend together. She would always want me to stay over, which I'm fine with as I like the girl. On the Sunday night I didn't stay over as I had to work early and I got a weird vibe from her that she was mad about this. Next day I get a text saying that the relationship is moving too fast and that she is not ready for one and that she would like to slow things down. I admitted it is going quite fast and that some space is needed for the relationship to progress more naturally.
This is where things get confusing as she still texts me everyday as if she had never mentioned slowing down. Personally I am at a point in my life where I want a long term relationship, but I don't want to deal with immaturity and mixed signals. Is it wrong for me to want to continue to date her while she figures shit out, but also keep my options open and date others? I would of course let her know that the relationship would no longer be exclusive. Or should I just stop wasting my time with her?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants to slow things down as she is not ready for a serious relationship, but acts like we never had the conversation. I want to date others while she figures things out, but still date her casually. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my romantic interest [17 F] of 1 week says she isn't ready for a relationship, but still wants to date me?
POST: We have been dating for a week now (2 dates). Had a third date with her today for lunch. After lunch we were walking and holding hands when she asked what it is we were. Before I could answer she said she wasn't ready for a relationship, but she still enjoyed going on dates with me, and still wanted to hang out.
I asked what she meant, thinking I was getting friend zoned, and she said she didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend right now. I asked if she was saying she just wanted to be friends, she says no, she wanted to be friends with benefits, but not all the way benefits (no sex). I asked if she would still kiss me if I went for it, to which she says yes.
She says I can tell people we have a thing, just that we aren't official. The way I take it is that she really just wants to be friends, but she wont just say it? (But friends don't kiss?) Really not sure what to make out of this, anyone with more experience know?
TL;DR: | Says she still wants to date me, and I can say to other people we have a thing, but she doesn't want a commitment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By making all my gf's friends hate me
POST: First I want to start off by apologizing for my English and crappy writing formatting.
So unlike most TIFU posts this one actually happened today like 10 minutes ago.
It all started when me and my girlfriend downloaded this program called Teamviewer which lets us remote control each others computers we downloaded this because ya know.. why not?
I then continued to take control of her laptop and went on her skype and started messaging all her friends saying Nocll34 was here 2016 <3 but one friend in particular I decided to spam inappropriate words like P*nisballs (This still makes me laugh)
She then continues to close the program telling me to stop so I do, a few moments later she gets a message from one of her friends (on her phone) talking shit about me saying that I am never to contact her again, she then proceeds to remove me from the group.
Meanwhile I see my girlfriend is starting to cry and I can't help but feel really bad. I truly F'd up.
I still don't know whether her friends hate her or not but I am certain they will never get over this and forgive me. :(
TL;DR: | Got a program that lets me remote control computers, messaged gf's friends, gf cries, her friends hate me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my gf [25F] of 2 years. She views her ex bf's Facebook multiple times a day every day.
POST: My gf and I have been together for 2 years now and have lived together for 1 year. It's been a what I thought was amazing relationship and we both want to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. The other day she was late for work and forgot her phone. She called me and asked me to bring it to her during her lunch hour. I had no suspicion she was cheating on me or anything like that but I was nosy and curious so I looked at her browser history to see what websites she browses.
It turns out she has a fake Facebook profile and has been looking at her ex bf's Facebook profile mulitple times a day for the past 4 months. It's only 4 months because that's as far as the internet history went so I'm guessing it's been going on much longer. It didn't look like she actually tried to contact him in any way tho. She visited his profile literally everyday multiple times without fail. From what I saw sometimes as many as 7 times. And every time she does she goes straight to look at his pictures. I'm obviously pissed and confused. I would understand just being curious and checking but this is so much more extreme.
Should I be as upset as I am? I know I need to bring this up but I don't know how too. I don't know what to say. Part of me feels like I'm just being an insecure baby but idk.
TL;DR: | gf has been looking at her ex bf's Facebook profile multiple times everyday and I'm unsure of what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] broke up with my gf [20 F] of 4 months, 2 months ago. How can I let it go for good?
POST: I broke up with her 2 months ago, due to constant fighting. I still like her a lot. I don´t love her, but we went through amazing times and experiences together.
I´ve accepted the we will both move on for something that suits better for us in the long term. But I still do have feelings for her, I still kinda miss her and our great times. I know we won´t talk for good, we´ll both stick to the NC rule probably until we meet someone new.
Well, today I saw her and I got nervous. I feel happy to know that I´m moving on, knowing new people, going out with my friends, and overall I´m really growing with this. But I´ve still haven´t let her go completely.
How can I finally do it? How to feel after 2 months with no contact?
TL;DR: | Broke up 2 months ago with gf, sometimes I still miss her. How can I let her go for good? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23 M) broke up with my gf (21) of almost three years and now she's started seeing a friend of mine
POST: I had a rocky few months with my gf and we officially ended it about 3 weeks ago. No cheating or big fights were involved prior or during the rocky months, we just kind of grew apart. Don't want to go more into detail. Anyway, I was and still am hoping that we could somehow fix it and now it turns out she's seeing a new guy, a friend of mine. Not bestfriend-tier but still a guy I got along with pretty good.
I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. I can't stop thinking about her and the idea of her with another guy drives me insane. She said that for now she feels happy with him but she also said that she knows what she's doing is wrong. What the hell am I even supposed to make of it? She said she doesn't love me anymore but still cares for me and decided to tell me about the other guy herself so I wouldn't hear it somewhere else. I appreciate the gesture but my heart got broken all over again.
TL;DR: | ex-gf started seeing a friend of mine, very confused as to how to deal with it and how to move on. I'm still very much in love with her and I feel totally lost without her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Was I(22)M basically used? Or am I just a little dense?
POST: A few weeks ago while on OK Cupid I(22M) messaged a girl(21F) and started talking to her. Well as the weeks went by we were texting and flirting when we both agreed that we should meet. So last weekend I drove to her place (2.5 hours away) and went on a date that ended up at her place.
The following morning involved us cuddling on her couch and browsing reddit, making jokes and eating breakfast. I left around 2pm (after engaging in more sexitiem).
After getting back home she told me how happy she was to see me and had a great time and we should meet again, despite her sister "getting a bad vibe" from me.
Since then she has all but ignored any texts I've sent her. Is it likely that her sister's disapproval caused her to lose interest or that she was only after a one night stand?
TL;DR: | I met a girl IRL from Ok Cupid, had a great date and now she seems to have no interest. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [19F] subtly let a guy [19M] know that I'm interested?
POST: I've [19/F] know this guy [19/M] for a few weeks, and I have what's possibly the biggest crush I've ever had on a person, on him. He's funny, smart, attractive, super sweet, the whole package. I really just think he's delightful and awesome, and I can't even talk about him to other people without perking up or smiling.
I've been getting frustrated because although he's extremely sweet and kind to me, he's a VERY sweet and kind person in general and seems to be like this with everyone. He's a true gentleman, a real sweetheart, and is one of those people that makes you feel special just by the way he looks at you/talks to you. Granted, I don't know him well enough to really read him super accurately, but yeah. I've been frustrated because even if he did have a slight attraction towards me, I don't feel like I'd be able to distinguish it from his normal behavior.
It just occurred to me that the nature of our friendship has always been to be super kind/sweet/encouraging to one another, and therefore he might not ever be able to tell if I have an attraction towards him either. So, I guess my question is this: how do behave towards him in a way that won't be totally obvious and desperate, but also won't just come across as general friendliness? I don't want to perpetually be in the friendzone (I certainly don't mind being friends for a while) but I also don't want to come across too strong.
Any advice would be appreciated! I realize this is kind of a silly question but I really like him and I'm just not sure how to act.
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TL;DR: | I [19/F] have a crush on this guy [19/M] and want to convey it in a subtle, yet effective way. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my FWB [19 F] 6 months, she wanted an open relationship, how open should I be about my sex life?
POST: long story short: I'm in a relationship with this girl who doesnt want to date me, but she is happy hanging out and fooling around. She just wants it to be kept a secret from her parents. well recently (4 days ago) she said that she doesnt want to be in an exclusive FWB relationship anymore and wants to go non-exclusive. At first I wasn't ok with it but she said its either that or going back to just being friends.
well I chose fwb but the thing is , is that she wants us to be open with who we have sex or hook up with...I told her I would and let the conversation move on. well the last two days she was super busy, and couldnt talk on the phone. during that time I went to a party and hooked up with a girl. that was monday. I also got another girls number. I tried calling my fwb yesterday but she couldnt talk and said she worked all day. (I believe her, she has never lied or given me any reason to doubt her, and neither have I to her).
Which brings me to today. she said she would call me in the morning. there was a surprise family road trip and couldnt call (we are keeping our relationship a secret remember?). Im lonely as a hell because all my friends have family stuff going on and my family isnt close at all. I called the other girls number and I hooked up with her too.
my question: she wanted an open relationship and asked to know about other girls. but how honest should I be. I have my own idea of what to say or do when I call her but im just looking for second opinions. Should I not tell her at all with it so close to christmas? should I wait? I dont want her to feel bad or something, I care about this girl a lot.
TL;DR: | fwb girl wanted open relationship. had sex with numerous girls very quickly after she wanted no strings attached, now im not sure what to say or do about the situation. Dont want to hurt her feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Long-term planning on becoming more independent. Need advice about income, bills, and other things I have no idea about.
POST: I'm not being kicked out or anything. I am currently disabled. I don't want to stay that way forever and am in the process of looking for some work I am actually capable of doing.
Anyway, I live with my more severely disabled mother. Together we make a somewhat functional household. I've been working with my doctors and in the coming years would like to see if I could reenter the working world with their help. Eventually, I'd like to earn enough to not only cover my expenses but to take some off of my mother's shoulders as well.
I don't take this process lightly. I became disabled when I was 23 (was living with parents then) and now I'm 29. While I help pay bills and take care of the house, I have no real idea (or at least think I don't know) about the independence I'm looking into.
Obviously, I'll need housing, electric, water, groceries, gas for the cars, and phone which is what I pay for now. But what else should I be aware of? What level of income could cover those as well as health insurance?
TL;DR: | I'm a disabled person trying to gain my independence and get back to the working world. What expenses and financial issues do I need to be aware of? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by doing lawn work
POST: Thought I'd share this. So after multiple DIY projects my family found out that the company that built my house and the houses around us like doing half assed jobs when building houses. Pipes were not in the correct locations, shortcuts were taken when assembling the kitchen, exc.
So, fast forward to today where I am doing lawn work. Standard mowing and then busting out the weed eater to get the weeds/grass along the sides of the sidewalk and along the edge of the house.
The water that gets pumped into my house is fed through a pipe that goes underground all the way to the edge of my house on the back side. The water comes up and is connected to a valve and is then sent back underground to supply water to the house.
Apparently, the pipe is paper thin. This water is also pressurized at about 40 psi. So, my weed eater cut it like it was nothing. Oh, and just my luck, it was on the pipe BEFORE the valve meaning this water was coming from the pipe that is connected to the street which meant that I couldn't just switch the water off right then and there. Had to dig through the garage to find the proper tool and disable the flow of water by turning off the valve underground at the edge of my street.
Family was without water for about 4 hours as I had to buy a replacement pipe and the proper adhesive. Also bear in mind that when this happened it was towards the end of the day in Florida and it was also late spring which means all the critters that lurk in the night got to feast on my skin as I replaced a pipe with only a flashlight to see what I'm doing. Not to mention the entire grass was flooded from the damn water...
TL;DR: | Fucked up by cutting a thin pipe with my weed eater, bugs ate my skin as I replaced it at night. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Fiancee wants to break up over mother coming to town for a few months due to illness.
POST: My fiancee and I have been living together for about a year now. This is our third semester sharing a house and things have been *okay*. We're both lazy and bad cooks so we typically eat out, have food delivered, get TV dinners, or pre-cooked meals. Not healthy, but we survive.
I was just diagnosed with Celiac's disease. Apparently my immune system doesn't appreciated my diet. I've got chronic rashes covering about 10% of my body, chronic diarrhea, and severe pains after eating. It turns out that's due to gluten which is in pretty much every meal Americans eat. Products with gluten in them make up the largest portion of the meal pyramid. It's deadly in the same way smoking is so it isn't an immediate "oh my god" type thing, but it is severe especially if untreated. My doctor has advised that I get a nutritionist and fix all of my own food to ensure I'm 100% gluten free.
That's where my mother comes in. She knows that neither of us know how to cook and that neither of us are in the habit of it. She's decided she wants to stay with family in town until the start of next semester to teach us how to cook, to make sure we know what food I can and cannot eat, and to ensure that I stick to the diet despite my inherent laziness.
My fiancee despises my mother. Both try to get a long, but both ultimately fail. Neither realizes that they are partly at fault either. My fiancee has given me an ultimate: if my mother comes to help she will break up with me and move out.
Am I an asshole for thinking "Alright, if that's how you feel, good bye"?
TL;DR: | My mother wants to move into town briefly to help with a chronic, difficult to manage, but not immediately life threatening illness. Fiancee wants to break up because of it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26M] and my GF [24F] of 8 months are going through a rough patch.. she needs "time to think". I don't know how to deal with this.
POST: There are several issues (mostly minor) in the relationship that we need to work through. These issues have been on both sides, but the most recent being a fairly significant fuck-up on my part, as I recently decided to prematurely end my master's studies in favor of finding a job. She didn't really take it well.. and it honestly took me completely by surprise. I was so supportive when she quit her job (twice) and with the stresses of her current job.
She told me "she needs time to think". She insists that she does not want to break up, but needs to figure out what she wants and what her expectations are of me. And then she'll text me something along the lines of, "I'm sorry I don't know what I'm doing and I'm taking it out on you". She seems very conflicted about our future and her feelings. Her worries about the future are absolutely valid.. but we're only 8 months in. Do we need to put so much thought into that right now? Friends that know the situation are as perplexed as I am.
I don't want to break up, but I have given her several outs to do it as painlessly as possible.. the last thing I want is to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't reciprocate my feels and I've told her as much. Again, she is clear that she does not want to break up.
I'm at wit's end, folks. I know I need to give her space, but it really worries me how lost she seems. And it's not like I can ask her for rough estimate of how long she will feel like this. I'm going through the motions of applying for jobs, but I'm so sad. I can't imagine going through an interview process feeling like this. There doesn't seem to be a solution to this mess.
Idk. Things just don't seem to add up. Any advice, reddit friends?
TL;DR: | Issues seem to have added up between my girlfriend and I. She needs "time to think". She is confused. I am confused. Everyone is confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24M) cheated on my girlfriend (24f) days before a scheduled romantic trip, I fessed up, but can I ask her to still go with me?
POST: Last night I (24m) got in a game of truth or dare with two friends and after passing out and waking still quite drunk I engaged in some heavy grinding with a close friend (24f) of both my girlfriend (24f) and me. Whilst I was not really stimulated by this (my genitals were out of the picture in the way we were lying), my friend clearly was as she moaned. It took me a minute to sober up and realise this was a terrible idea and left.
As I was walking home I decided I needed to tell my girlfriend so got a taxi to her house. However, when it became clear her phone was flat and I was unable to get her to wake up from outside her window I decided I needed to make sure she would know ASAP, so I messaged her, which I am still unsure about as a move, it seems bad. I am now waiting in the morning to hear from her.
To make matters more complicated we are meant to go on a tropical island holiday on Wednesday. Given the length of the relationship (9 years), it would be weird if either of us would simply call it quits because of this. But can I expect her to let me come with her on the trip still? I offered to transfer the flights and accomodation to one of her friends in the message, but I really want to use this time to fix us, not be thousands of kilometers away.
TL;DR: | I cheated on my girlfriend and we have a trip coming up in a few days. Is it possible to still go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend (25F) of 3.5 years keeps bringing up marriage and I (25M) am wondering if it's too soon. Advice?
POST: Hey guys, I'll make this super short. We've been together almost 4 years, we have an apartment, pets, a bank account for bills, and two great careers. She's graduating with her masters very soon, and I'm still working on my bachelor's since I got a late start.
I love her with all of my heart, we've both had several bad relationships before we met so we've "been around the block" per se. She comes from a culture where it's frowned upon to move in with a guy before marriage, but she took the plunge with me anyway and here we are. We moved in together at 6 months and it's been amazing! We get along so well, we just understand one another almost perfectly. I know she's the one, and I've been itching to propose, but is 3 years enough time? Is 25 too young? She says she doesn't care if we have a 2 year engagement, she just wants the symbol of commitment. We have discussed our wedding already, and we have made a budget so it's pretty serious! She works for the government sector and can be moved anytime, which is another added pressure to us getting married. (Not that I feel too pressured, it's just one thing to take into account)
What do you guys think? She's an amazing girl, so caring, beautiful, kind, and selfless. Everyone always tells me I need to put a ring on it, and I'm scared that she will get too frustrated with me and leave me if I don't propose. One thing to note is, I have an older sister who's been with her boyfriend for 10 years and she's desperate for marriage, but he refuses to propose. My girlfriend has said that she is scared of ending up like them, and says she's getting angsty as more time passes. Opinions?
TL;DR: | girlfriend wants to get engaged, I do too, but I'm worried we are too young and we haven't been together long enough. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Grass is greener syndrome? F with M both mid-20s. Need insight.
POST: I've been dating this guy for a few months now. He is almost everything a girl could ask for in a man (especially after a couple miserable/abusive relationships). He is handsome, very smart, motivated, extremely generous, agreeable, and compliments me at least 10 times a day. We have very compatible sex drives, motivations in life, and we never argue. He is very mature when it comes to discussing relationship issues (something I greatly appreciate).
BUT I feel almost bored. Is this because I've had such turbulent relationships in the past that something healthy feels too tame? He doesn't really make me laugh much and we don't have very in depth conversations. The conversations have been getting better lately but I've had much better chemistry in that department with other men I've dated. I miss being able to constantly crack jokes with someone but I don't miss the abusive behavior that came along with it.
I also feel like he is almost too agreeable. Again, maybe this is something I'm just not used to since I've been in such unhealthy relationships. He thinks I'm the greatest thing on the planet and it's so foreign to have someone so completely in to me. It almost makes me uncomfortable.
I feel awful and don't want to lead this fantastic person on when I'm not sure I feel as strongly as he does. Is it better to have all these wonderful qualities in a partner or is it worth giving up to find someone who pushes back a little more?
**bold
TL;DR: | Wonderful man who treats me like a princess almost feels boring after previous unhealthy relationships. Would I be throwing away a good thing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Park behind me? Time to watch a few videos!
POST: In San Francisco, it is nearly impossible to find parking on the streets during any part of the day, especially if you plan to park there overnight.
I fortunately have a garage that can fit 3 vehicles in it, one for each apartment in the building. I have my spot (and next to mine is a spot that has to pull around me but isn't blocked), and there is a separate third spot. The tenants in one of the apartments doesn't have a car, so that leaves the spot next to me up for grabs. The people in apartment remaining have three cars, so they take up two spots (their designated spot and the spot next to my car).
Enter lazy guy (LG for short). LG usually parks in one of the designated spots. But if one of his roommates takes that spot, he decides rather than finding parking on the street, he'll park behind me blocking me in the garage. I usually wouldn't care, but this always seems to happen when I'm running late to be somewhere (such as to get to class on time). This usually forces me to run upstairs, ring on his doorbell, and he'll sleepily answer the door then take his sweet time going to move the car.
I've warned him, and told him that if he "desperately" needs to park behind me, he should ask. He continues to block me.
One day, I left for school, and he parked in the garage basically in my spot. I come back and decide to park behind him (thus blocking him in) and heading up to my apartment. Midnight rolls around and I hear a light buzz on my doorbell. I quietly sneak up to the door and peer through the peephole to confirm that it is indeed LG. I quietly go back to my room, watch a few YouTube videos and check Reddit, which takes about 15 minutes.
I go up to the door after he buzzes the doorbell again for the umpteenth time (I can barely hear it in my room so it wasn't a big deal). Open the door, look at him and say "Oh sorry, I was sleeping, be down in a minute". Go back to my room to watch another 3 minute YouTube video before slowly going down to move my car.
TL;DR: | Lazy neighbor always parks behind my car, thus blocking me in the garage. I somehow get to park behind him and take my sweet time getting downstairs to move my car. |
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