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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I am 23, no qualifications, 6k loans, living at home. I am trying to start life over again. How do I get over the past?
POST: I got rejected from jobs and certain dates. I worked worthless jobs. I never really had a gf. I wasn't always negative, but things started to pile up and my reluctance to see the psychiatrist about past sexual abuse problems and other things. I changed my major twice and ended up wasting my life. I wasn't even having fun at all. I fell into depression for 1.5 year. I didn't seek help for my problems. Now I am 23 and attempting to start life again. But my goddamn past keeps haunting me, I see myself being surpassed by my peers. My family is poor and I will end up living poorly for 4 years doing law school.
TL;DR: | My life was messed up to this point, how can leave the haunting past behind and look forward? With pretty much nothing to start with? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: SO(25/m) upset me but apologized, how do I(26/f) get over the hurt?
POST: My bf (25/f) and I(26/f) are doing long distance at the moment. Last night I was going out with friends for my birthday and he was going out with some of his friends as well. Neither one of us are much of drinkers but his friends were taking him out to celebrate a promotion.
He texted me around 9 saying he was feeling sick (from drinking). I replied asking him if he was ok, but never got a response. We are both very connected to our phones, so I got a little worried when he didn't respond. Imagine how much fun a girl can have at a club for her birthday, staring at her phone every 5 minutes, wondering if her bf is ok. I left pretty early (midnight) but really sat in bed until 3 am when i finally got a text saying he was ok. At that point i was pissed but could finally go to sleep.
This morning he texted to say good morning and i said "you really can't text me something like that and disappear. i was worried." He apologized. I accepted his apology but he feels bad because he can tell i'm still upset. I don't know what to do. He apologized so i can't be mad at him anymore, but i am. However, i don't want to take it out on him so i've been pretty short with our conversations all day. He says he feels bad, and i told him theres nothing for him to do, i just have to get over it.
Is there a way to kind of speed up me getting over it? I don't want to be sad and i don't want him to feel guilty. Do you think I'm handling it well with him?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend made me upset, but apologized. I said it was ok but he feels bad because i'm still sad and he caused it. How do I get over it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Ex girlfriend not over him. Or am I just paranoid?
POST: First time poster, also on mobile, so apologies in advance.
About 9 months ago, I [19/F] started dating a friend of mine [19/M]. Our relationship is great and the first serious one either of us has ever been in. Before me, he dated this girl for less than a month. They broke up because she was interested in someone else the entire time.
The issue is she and I are good friends, she will often say things like, "aren't you glad I made him such a great kisser" or "it's so weird he and I used to date," right to my face. I'm not sure she is doing this to make me feel jealous or grateful she set us up (she encourage me to pursue him).
Furthermore, when she gets drunk, she will demand to see him, stroke his arm, run her hands through his hair, or even sit there hugging him. All of this in front of me (and her current boyfriend).
I don't know how to tell her that this makes me uncomfortable and I don't want to see it.
My boyfriend doesn't think anything of it (which is fine).
I just want her to dial it back and not make me feel like uncomfortable.
Am I just jealous/paranoid or should I confront her about it?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's ex keeps mentioning to me how great they were as a couple, mentions how she turned him into a great kisser, touches him often when I am around. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by going to the ER for smoking weed
POST: So I went on a pretty awesome trip over spring break with my college roommates which involved a few long nights in Amsterdam coffeeshops. We all smoked regularly enough back home that being in Amsterdam didn't seem like a big deal... until three days after heading to another country I had the worst cough of my life. I was coughing non-stop for a day or two before I noticed a really sharp pain in my chest.
The cough eventually went away but the chest pain didn't. Taking deep breaths hurt, rolling over in my sleep hurt, and nothing I did seemed to help. My trip was wrapping up and I decided I'd see a doctor when I got home. I folded up into economy class for a 6.5 hour flight back home and hoped for the best.
I made it back through customs ready to shower and sleep off my jet lag, but as I reach for my bag off the conveyor belt, I produce one small, half-assed cough... And immediately the loudest most disconcerting POP erupts from inside the bones of my chest. Immediately my left arm becomes spaghetti and I drop my bag instantly.
Cut to me in the ER about an hour later as a vaguely sympathetic nurse tells me I've coughed so hard I "sprained a rib."
Now here I am melting into my bed on norco holding back coughs so I can use both arms.
TL;DR: | Apparently spraining a rib is a thing, and you either have to be a feeble old woman or a European tourist in college to do it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Colorado Fires are endangering my parent's summer camp businesses. Need help finding new area to train staff.
POST: Hi Reddit,
My parents run an adventure expedition, community service, and language immersion camp that sends high school students all around the world.
Every summer in June we train our trip leaders just outside of Colorado Springs, CO (the town is called monument). Unfortunately due to [the wildfires] ( the place we normally train out staff has been evacuated.
If you or a friend has a place where we could train 48 people (everyone sleeps in tents) for a week from June 16th to June 23rd, you would save a family camp from going out of business and help over 350 kids have the summer of a lifetime. Happy to pay if you have a place.
TL;DR: | need a place near colorado springs that can accomodate 50 people (in tents) we can train trip leaders before they travel around the world with teenagers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M 22] don't know how to or if I should confront my roommate [M 22] about him being inconsiderate
POST: I'll cut right to it. We both (3 1/2-year friendship, living together 2 years) hung out with this girl [F 22] and some other people Tuesday last week and I told him after that that I was gonna ask her on a date, even though she's kind of a mess. I asked her today and she said yes, we're gonna get dinner next Tuesday. I texted him after to talk it out with him because I'm apprehensive and he told me she's "definitely playing many fields". I asked him what he meant, and apparently she invited him to a trip in July and he told her he'd have to see how much his next paycheck was, which he told me was the actual deciding factor for him. I didn't seem to cross his mind during that interaction or even during the one he and I were having. I don't want to think that he relished telling me about this, but the best situation I can think of is that it didn't occur to him how much this would take the wind out of my sails.
He's never expressed interest in this girl whatsoever; I was kind of under the impression he didn't like her as a person. All the other people (two couples) on the trip annoy him a lot. Basically, it seems he wants to go to hook up with this girl he knew I was interested in.
I consider this roommate my best friend, but he has done and said things that hurt me without thinking about it in the past, and I told him about them. The girl isn't more important to me than this friendship, but I can't live with this guy for another year if he's gonna continue to do shit like this. Should I bring it up? How do I if I should?
TL;DR: | My roommate told me right after I got a date with a girl that he might go on a trip with her in July. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guy Confusion (Both 19) in need of someones POV ?
POST: Hey guys. Ive been talking to a guy since late Jan. He and I clicked right away. We have hooked up multiple times (sex included) but I dont know if were just FWB or if theres something more to come out of this?
We go out sometimes but only when were both free (we are both science majors so we hardly have time) we dont speak as often but when we do its to make plans to go out.
Now, when were out its only for a while and its never that 'date' feel. He does mention family things to me (like a cousins xv coming up etc) and sometimes messes with me when were together.
Other times we kinda avoid each other (again, school.) So idk what is going on between us. Im fine with it being a fwb or a potential relationship but I just want someone elses p.o.v.
TL;DR: | Guy Im talking to and I give each other weird signals. Am not sure if FWB or more. Need outsiders POV |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My boyfriend [19m] and I [18f] have no sexual chemistry anymore
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. I feel like every time he kisses me it's forced, there's never any foreplay before sex (just me sucking his dick and him licking his fingers and fingering me for about a minute, I'm never naturally wet anymore) and recently he's been eating me out because I asked him to, he never used to do it on his own.
I feel like literally everything is forced. Every kiss, every time he touches me. I feel like he never actually wants to. I have no self confidence and he knows this. He can't even stay hard anymore during sex, but he can when he jacks off or watches porn. He just can't stay hard around me usually unless I'm sucking his dick, which I used to do literally everyday for 7 months, but now I have a busy work schedule and I don't see him as much.
I don't know what to do. Our sex life is destroyed. Any tips or advice on how to get it back would be great.
TL;DR: | my boyfriend and I used to have sexual chemistry, now we have none, and we can't figure out how to get it back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/f] feeling like I am not getting enough emotional support from my boyfriend [25/m]
POST: Long story short I am going through a very personal struggle right now. A lot of it has to do with anxiety and so I have to keep my anxiety levels in check a lot of the time. Unfortunately, a huge source of stress has become my relationship with my boyfriend of over a year and a half. Throughout our relationship I have been the constant rock of support and reason.
But, now that I'm struggling it's like my boyfriend just doesn't get how to be supportive. There will be days where I am clearly upset and clearly unhappy. My boyfriend will meet me for lunch/dinner and things seem okay and then afterwards there is literally no mention of how I feel. It's like he tunes it all out or just ignores it entirely. I've felt this way since January probably and we have talked about him being extra supportive while I go through my struggle but honestly it just doesn't seem to be working. I feel like he is so immature and unsupportive that he just can't possibly begin to be helpful to me. There have been many nights where I just cry because I'm so lonely.
TL;DR: | I feel totally unloved and my boyfriend's general behavior may/may not be contributing to my overall stress level. What should I do? Is this relationship on the road to nowhere? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [f/22] have gone on two dates and have plans for a 3rd with [m/23] and it's been going great so far but I think I'm gonna have to be the first one to make a move and I don't know how or when to do that.
POST: So I decided to give the whole online dating thing a try because I'm pretty awful at meeting new people, work with mostly women and I know most of the guys in my major and am not interested in any of them.
I've gone out with this guy two times now and we both seemed to have a great time and we have plans to go out again this weekend.
He mentioned on his profile that he's terrible at picking up on signals and he's pretty oblivious. He told me he went to an all boys high school, went to school for and works in a male dominated field so his experience with girls is fairly minimal. I'm also kind of bad at reading situations but I figure if he asked me out again he must be at least a little interested. We haven't kissed or anything yet because on both our dates thus far we've been in fairly public/ crowded areas when we've said goodbye. I get the feeling I'm probably going to have to be the one to make the first move and that is something I have never done before. I know I'm gonna have a hard time getting up the nerve and following through because I'm a pretty big coward in such situations but I really like this guy.
I come in search of advice on how to actually make a move and how to tell when is the right time for said move or should I just tell him that I really like him? Seriously any advice is appreciated I have almost no dating experience. If it matters we're going to see a movie this weekend and then going to a bar to see his buddy's band play.
TL;DR: | met this great guy online but I think I'm gonna have to be the first one to make any kind of a real move and I have no idea what I'm doing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: 18 male wondering if I'm completely in the wrong
POST: So for the past few week my girlfriend has been complaining she's fat. (5 foot 2, 130 lbs) I've been supportive, no you're not, you look amazing, etc. The other day she wanted to go on bike ride which I really wasn't up for but went no problem. I was hoping we could have a little fun, she could burn some calories, and I definitely could too! After three miles wants to go back and gets furious with me for making her keep going because "it's farther than she wanted to go" (we have cycled together many times and we average 11 miles per ride) I tell her she can't complain about gaining weight and then complain about working out to. She has to pick one. She understands and agrees she won't complain about her weight. A couple days pass, she complains how she's fat and is gaining weight. Later that night she proceeds to eat NINE pieces of pizza for dinner. After dinner we go to my room and hang out, I say I'm not trying to be an asshole but what do you expect, and she gets livid. I'm completely being an asshole and nothing but rude.
I feel so cornered. I can't say yeah you're getting fat, I can't say no you're skinny then she yells I'm wrong. I can't stop her while she's eating pizza, I can't say anything about it after. Am I just supposed to listen to her complain?
We talked about why she got pissed later and she said I was just so rude and I could have said it without being rude. I ask what would have been ok and she just screams I don't know. So I'm not really sure.
TL;DR: | GF complains she's fat, complains about working out, and when I say don't complain I'm an asshole and when I say you ate a lot what do you expect, I'm an asshole. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [F/19] does not want sex, but keeps instagating it with me [M/18], then becoming upset about it
POST: The title makes it sound like I'm blaming her for something. I'm really not, I just couldn't find another way of phrasing it. I only want to be supportive, but I don't exactly know how.
My girlfriend's last relationship was with a guy who wasn't exactly nice, and aparently rather demanding on the sexual front. She has told me that because of that, she needs a bit of time before she feels comfortable having sex again. I am completely fine with this, and I've told her multiple times that I don't want to do anything she isn't comfortable with. I've been making sure that I haven't been getting handsy, or doing anything that would lead up to a situation she is uncomfortable with.
The problem arises when she keeps instagating sex. I tell her every time that she might not want to do this, and that she doesn't have to do anything with me that she doesn't want to, yet every time she tells me that this is what she wants. The situation evolves to the point where tops are off, before she stops, and says that she cant go through with it. Every time I tell her its fine, hug her, tell her I can wait as long as she wants to, and that its not a problem at all. Every time after this she gets rather down, and needs to have a few minutes to herself. I'm getting concerned, and really unsure of what to do, when she is the one who keeps instagating, and always says that its what she wants.
She doesn't want to talk in detail about her last relationship. She's told me her ex was rather demanding, and expected a lot from her when it came to sex, but she won't go any further into it than that, and usually begins crying whenever the subject is breached. I'm not going to force her to talk about it, but I'm getting really unsure of how to avoid situations where the subject is brought up. Any advice regarding what I can do to be a supportive and non-demanding boyfriend, and help her, would be greatly appreciated.
Relationship has lasted for 2 months.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend had an abusive ex-boyfriend, and doesn't want sex, still she keeps instagating it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 22/M trying to get the love of my life back. Help?
POST: **Backstory:** So I started dating this girl in the first month of my freshman year at college. We stayed together for a little over two years. We had a very happy relationship until the last few months. Although we were both still very much in love, she felt that we were growing apart due to the lack of time together. (We are both in college and it got very busy for both of us) She began worrying about our future instead of living in the now. We are from different places and all she could worry about was what happens when we graduate and have to be far away. We started having problems and she said I wasn't managing my time well enough and was not ready for her. Instead of trying to work it out, she decided she just wanted to try and be single and still be friends. It has been over a year that we have been broken up now and we are both graduating college in May. If something isn't done soon its over.
**Now:** I have been trying to be happy and find someone else that can give me remotely the same feelings she did, but I can't shake the thoughts of her. This year, she has been growing more and more apart from me as she started hanging out with a new guy. Even though we don't speak as much, the two of us share the same best friend and she likes to tell me everything that is going on with her. Recently I found out that the guy told her he loved her… but she hasn't said it back and I know its because she still have those feelings for me. However, I am worried that she will say it back to him soon if I don't do something and she will be lost to me.
**Action:** I want to take one last run at this and if it doesn't work out hopefully move on for good. I need to do something big and I have a few ideas, but I am looking to you guys for any advice, help, or ideas.
TL;DR: | I lost the girl of my dreams and I want to do one last gesture to show her that we are perfect for each other, remind her of what we had, and get another chance. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How to resist losing temper?
POST: Hey guys - I'm generally a happy, positive person...when I'm in public and with people I barely know. It's like a "polite"/"common courtesy" thing...
However, with my family (and sometimes closest friends), I act very closed off, very short tempered, and very negative. I constantly find myself losing my patience at home. When my family members ask me questions (especially questions about my day...after the fact, I realize they just want to find out about my life...I'm almost tearing up writing this because I realize that I am not as close with my family as I should be, or would like to be), I find myself snapping some one word answer back at them and then storming off to my room or to the basement to watch Netflix or I go running to cool down.
I don't notice myself doing this when I'm with my friends or out of the house. It's almost as if the minute I come home, my personality changes and I feel like I am quicker to lose my patience and, in turn, my temper. It hurts me to treat my family poorly, and I think it just adds to the problem, because as I get angry and am constantly in a bad mood around my family, it adds to my guilt and stress and anxiety and causes me to remain in said bad mood.
My question is: how can I resist losing my temper around those I love most? How can I refrain from losing my patience with my family? How can I stay in a better mood at home?
TL;DR: | I lost my temper a lot, especially at home with my family. What can I do to stop this and be in a better mood around them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 F] with my daughter [14 F] and her emotionally manipulative boyfriend [16 M]. I'm at a loss.
POST: My daughter has her first boyfriend. When we first met him, both me and my husband thought he was a really nice, respectful boy. He got along with my other two daughters [3 F and 7 F] well and was just in general a sweet, caring boy, or so we thought.
Recently, my daughter and I got into a shouting match over something irrelevant, and I took her phone away. While I had her phone I decided to snoop through her phone, because I'm a mother and that's what mothers do. While there was nothing on her text messages, there were numerous emails between the pair. Why I thought to check the emails, I will never know, but I'm glad I did because they were simply awful. Pages and pages of this boy emotionally manipulation my daughter, saying things like "oh, of course you wouldn't do that, because you don't love me," and "well if your not going to come with me life isn't worth living."
The messages made me sick, so much that I can't even type any more of them onto here. What do I do? I was a teenager once, I know that if I tell her no and take her phone away and stuff it will just drive her into his arms, but I need to do something and putting the hammer down seems like the only option. What do I do?
TL;DR: | I am certain that my daughter is in an emotionally manipulative relationship with her boyfriend. How do I get her away from him without driving her closer to him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by Using the Wrong Figure of Speech
POST: Ok so this happened last summer and was probably the biggest foot in mouth moment of my life. It's kind of long so I apologize.
Background:
In the summers I worked as a lifeguard at my city's local pool and a few days out of the week some daycares/boys&girls club would come to our pool. I made friends with this kid who had a deformity in his arm that caused it to stay much smaller than his other arm (roughly half the size). He could use it, just not very well. We would throw football or a tennis ball around when I wasn't on stand or busy.
Story:
Ok so one day we finished throwing the football around before I had to go on stand. When I got on stand a woman came up to me and told me she thought it was very nice how I'm always playing with kids especially the boy with the deformity. We talk for a few about how he's a good kid and doesn't seem to let his arm bother him. This is when I say the most embarrassing thing I've ever said in my life. I say to her,
"He's got an arm and a half on him."
I immediately regret those words. I stop and stare at her and she has a mixture of disgust/shock on her face. I try to back track and say it's a figure of speech because he can throw a football pretty far and hard for his age. She just looks at me in silence and walks away. I spend the rest of the day knowing I was losing my job because of my foot in mouth moment.
At the end of the day the woman came up to me and said she knew what I meant and just wanted to mess with me a little bit. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life, and I've been a little more cautious of what I say from now on.
TL;DR: | I used a common phrase in my area "he's got an arm and a half" to describe the throwing ability of a kid who happened to have a a deformity in his arms. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend got a "proposition". His friend asked him to marry his gf so she can keep her green card. He offered him $8000 to do it. He actually wants to.
POST: Edit for mods: My bf & I's age - 21
Bf's friend - Unsure but around 27.
Bf's friends gf - Unsure.
Bf and his new friend have known each other for a week.
We've been together for a year.
Am I wrong to be extremely pissed off by this?
His friend told him they'd have to stay married for a year. My bf said it would help us out on our travels, etc.
Not only is it demoralizing but if they were to get caught they'd (we'd) have to stick around for federal court (in an unfimiliar state).
He doesn't see what the big deal is and he's trying to make me feel bad for being mad about it (manipulative). Am I over reacting? How do I approach this?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend wants to marry someone he's never met for money and I'm extremely offended/confused/mad. How do I approach this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] and [?? F]. I want to ask her out, but she's my "teacher"? Details inside. (x-post on askwomenadvice)
POST: She's not really my *teacher* sort of.
I'm taking French at my college right now and we have something called an oral proficiency hour where french students on the same level go to the class go at a certain time once a week to practice speaking french and do activities to enhance our speaking ability.
This class is run by a student who is taking advanced classes in that specific area of language: French, Spanish, Italian... you get the idea.
She's a student here, but she's the instructor for this period of time and the second I laid eyes on her, I felt enticed. I really want to get to know her and see what she's about. We did an activity of musical chairs and it was blatantly obvious- to me anyway- she wanted me to win as she would pause the playlist when I was comfortable to grab a seat.
I DON'T even know her name, her major, anything about her really yet outside of she clearly knows her french. I really want to get to know her though.
Is it weird to ask out someone that technically is your "teacher" ?
If so, what's the best way to go about it? Just talk to her after class a bit, get to know her a little, and then pop the question? Or should I wait until the end of this semester/class for all that?
Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it!
TL;DR: | Have a conversation hour, interested in the teacher but she's actually a student here! Could use advice to ask her out or wait until later on! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: me [20]m have had feelings for a younger girl [15]f for a few years.
POST: bear with me now, me and this friend, who i will call Alice have been the closest of friends for 3 years now, and we have spoken about relationships with eachother. last year we had a bit of a "fling" but have remained friends since, and we both got into relationships.
I dated her brothers ex, which was am mistake, and me and her [16] (to be called Joan) dated for 9 months, before we broke, but me and Alice remained friends, very close friends, we would regularly talk about sexual things, and even sext from time to time, she has been through a few relationships since our fling, and i know that dating Joan hurt Alice a lot, but what i ask of ye is, what should i do, i know that Alice used to have feelings for me, but they could be gone, she knows that i had feelings for her, however they are still there.
and one other concern that i have is that these feelings may be simply attraction, as i have noticed over the past few years that i have been mainly attracted to younger girls, 14/15-17/18 and that they too have been most attracted to me. is there something wrong with me?
TL;DR: | i like a younger girl, is the age difference too much? and do i JUST like younger girls, or am i actually attracted to them, how can i know? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend[20] and I[21/M] fight constantly and I don't know what to do
POST: Just a little backstory: we both go to college about 6 hours away from each other. We have dated for around a total of 6 years and we broke up in January of this year and we got back together 2 months ago. During this time, she had another boyfriend and I was with other people. We realized that we love each other and wanted to be together. It started off great; I went to her brother's wedding, we saw each other a few times within a few weeks, and the sex was great. I haven't seen her in a month and we are finally going to see each other this Sunday. Recently, we have been fighting and just generally agitated at everything. I wouldn't of considered myself the jealous type in our past relationship but for some reason this time, I seem to be getting jealous and just angry whenever she goes to the bar and hangs out with her guy friends. I don't want to get jealous or angry but I can't help myself. She says I am trying to control when that is really the last thing I want to do. I just want to do anything I can to help us get through this but I am unsure what to do.
TL;DR: | GF and I have been fighting for over everything for the past month and I'm not sure what to do. Just want to make it work |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: My ex [27M] and I [24F] broke up. Have this horrible hope I can't get rid of
POST: How do I get rid of this hope I have that we will get back together? We had a break previously in our relationship and couldn't stay away from each other. Also, I keep hearing that if he is meant for you then he will be. I think those are the reasons that have been giving me hope that we will work out our issues.
We broke up on Thursday after an argument. I asked questions and tried to get closure. But he wouldn't say that he didn't love me and he said he didn't want to stop talking to me. His job has been really stressful and he is prone to be being very anxious. He has been having a lot of panic attacks.
We've been together for a year and half. I've been there as much as I could. I really love him. Please help...
TL;DR: | How do I get rid of the hope of a reconciliation? Do you believe if you break up more than once that it will never work out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/books
TITLE: Ideal Home Library Organizer features?
POST: Hi Bookit,
I'm a student in computer science who happens to both love reading and love keeping/looking at data of books I read (page counts per month or year, genre shifts with my age/the time of year I read the book, my ratings of books, etc.). I've been keeping an Excel spreadsheet with this data for a little while now, but I recently discovered some of the home library organizers on the web and have tried using them, but none of them have really catered to my needs or wants quite how I'd like (mostly in terms of their organizational deficiencies), so I figured, since I am, after all, studying computer science, I could write one myself. I'm worried, though, that I'll put something together that sucks because I fell victim to one of the pitfalls that other Home Library Organizers have. Since I'm sure many of you have more experience with these things than I do, I was wondering if you had any tips about things that are essential, or things that should be avoided. And plus, I'm sure you guys have a lot of awesome, creative ideas that are not too hard to implement but of which I wouldn't have thought, and which would make my program that much better.
TL;DR: | I'm writing my own Home Library Organizer program. What features do you think I should give it? What features do you think I should avoid? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [25m] I look "Middle Eastern", any hope?
POST: I'm very frequently assumed to be Arab, especially Saudi Arab, by both Arabs (who automatically chat me up in Arabic) and non-Arabs. People here (in the "West") get so confused when I speak fluent, accent-free English - rare for a Saudi - that the first thing they ask me is where I'm from.
It doesn't help that I have a small beard, I know, but without it I'd look and feel immensely emasculated (small frame and effeminate features. Desperately trying to work on former).
So I'm wondering, and am especially hoping for female answers, do I have any chances of *not* scaring off girls if I were to randomly talk to them as a stranger, let alone ask them out? Not to be racist but, from television and film I've gotten the impression that Hispanics, East Asians, and even Indians now (for a long time not) are "mainstream", but Arabs are still very much foreign and even "the enemy".
(Again, that is just what I feel the media gives off. My intellect and experience tell me otherwise)
I've moved to a new city where I'm completely alone. Is my only hope to build up a social life here where I can sometimes meet girls more securely? At the moment I find that really difficult with work, hence my desperation to ask a stranger for the first time.
TL;DR: | I look immensely like a Saudi Arab but am not. What are my chances of not scaring off strange women and sparking outcry from people around if I were to talk to them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Medical bill arrived 28 months after services were supposedly rendered and final bill paid in full. What to do?
POST: If this is the wrong sub, please redirect me. Thank you.
My wife received a medical bill for a service that supposedly took place 28 months ago. At the time we were still dating; now married. She was on her parents insurance at the time and living in a different city. There were constantly billing errors and I was in the room for many many phone calls trying to sort out which bills needed to be paid and which were duplicates. When everything had been paid we asked, "Are you sure all bills are paid and we are finished with this mess" to which they replied, "yes". We have not received a bill since then so you could understand our surprise when this one showed up claiming it was for services almost 2.5 years ago...
We have also switched insurance companies now that we are married.
When the bill arrived we contacted the billing department and were eventually passed on to a manager. After explaining the situation and how we had no way to verify the information on the bill since the service was so long ago and that we had been told the bill had was paid in full, the manager said she would look into it. She never returned the call to confirm one way or the other if we still owe the money. We have now received the 2nd copy of the bill and all efforts to get her to respond to my voicemails have been fruitless. I'm not against paying the bill if we truly owe it, but it seems unfair to get the bill 28 months late when we have no way to verify/double check agains bills paid. We have reason to believe it could be a duplicate bill since there were many other duplicates during their billing debacle 2.5 years ago. We do not want to be sent to collections- but are having no luck with anyone at the billing department.
Is there any course of action we can take to stop this from being sent to collections before they provide documentation to us proving we owe the money?
TL;DR: | Medical bill showed up 28 months after final bill had been paid. Getting no answers from head of billing department. Wanting to prevent being sent to collections. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19F) best friend (19F) and my SO's (20M) best friend (20M) are in a relationship but have completely changed... & not for the better. (Non-Romantic)
POST: I met my boyfriend almost a year ago through work and we became official almost 4 months later. Naturally my best friend and his were introduced and we began hanging out as a group. They were official one month after us (a little prematurely perhaps). My friend and I naturally started spending less and less time together and more with our boyfriends. Fast forward a year and we are currently backpacking together. We've been together for almost a month now and they'll be flying home in a few days. Over this past month, it has become more and more apparent how distant we have all become, but also how different they both are as people. My friend was hilarious, social, energetic, open, but most importantly, happy! I never knew her SO before they were in a relationship, but my boyfriend has said much of the same about him. He's a bit on the quiet side, but was talkative with the two of them and always ready for a good time. My friend and her SO have become withdrawn, antisocial, unhappy looking people. They seem exhausted, stressed, and honestly miserable, even though we are on vacation in a beautiful country. My friend has some anxiety issues to begin with and her SO has depression and social anxiety. I haven't spoken with my friend about her mental health but to see her now compared to the person she used to be is testament enough to her current mental state/happiness. Her SO and I don't have much of a friendship at all. My SO and I feel as if they enable each other and have totally blocked out all other friends/family. They only seem to be able to genuinely engage with each other and we can't converse with either of them in the way that we used to. We have also all been living together along with one other roommate for almost a year now. My SO and I are debating approaching them. What could we say and how? Has anyone has a similar experience to this? Advice? We're both feeling as if we've lost a best friend and don't feel happy with the idea of letting go. Thanks :^(
TL;DR: | My best friend and her SO seem unhappier than they did before they were in a relationship, it's heartbreaking for me and my SO. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tonight, the first person I've loved in over a decade left me because her kid's Dad threatened to call CPS on her if she didn't do it. Does anyone have experiences dealing with child protective services?
POST: I think we can stand up to the CPS and prove that she isn't doing anything wrong. (She really is doing all she can for her kid.) The one questionable thing is that she does smoke pot on occasion, never around the kid, but she would most likely fail a drug test if it came down to it.
She is a nervous wreck and I can tell that she left me because she is in panic mode and the thought of losing her kid is too much to bear. I am willing to do anything for her, marriage, lawyer up, hit the gym, etc...
Her baby's daddy, is a real douchebag. He just got out of prison for selling crack. (Two months, thanks justice system) There is no way that they would give him custody. He is merely doing this as a power play to show he is still in control of her life.
Any advice would be appreciated or if you just want to try to cheer me up that would be nice.
This is in Texas, btw.
TL;DR: | Baby's daddy is making a power play to control my now ex-girlfriend's life. He might follow through with calling CPS and we need to prove that she is a fit mom. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Anyone ever feel overwhelmed or intimidated by dating someone that's really, really special?
POST: Let me elaborate
I think I met the love of my life. I mean, from the very moment I saw her I was pudding. I had no chance. It's been a little less than five months and we've gotten very, very close and she told me she loved me before I did so I was floored!
The thing is, I haven't dated someone in a long, long time. The last person I dated was the first love of my life. We dated for 6 years, but they were pretty volatile and I think it affected me in several negative ways. One of them being a fear of abandonment. I'm an otherwise very gregarious and confident person, but there's something about dating that instills anxiety in me to the point that I struggle keeping my cool and pretty much controlling my emotions.
So I am intimidated by the prospects of our relationship. I want to **ensure** that things go well, but sometimes I can't relax. I have a fear of getting dropped and I feel an uncontrollable impulse to try to command things and take strong control in order to feel safe. This doesn't happen to me any another type of relationship, such as friendship. I've gone to therapy about it, but I wonder if there's anybody else that has dealt with this or is currently dealing with it.
What did you do to deal it?
Did it work? Why or why not?
What doesn't work?
TL;DR: | I think I've met the love of my life, but because of my past dating experience and the great potential of this relationship, I get intimidated and don't react well. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I want to move to CA next year, and take my GF with me... She has a 2 year old.
POST: I'm fairly certain I'll be able to afford living there within a year or so. The thing is, my girlfriend wants to come with me. The only catch is that she has a 2 year old boy, and there is no way the father would want this to happen. They split before the child was born, and they were never married. He was verbally and physically abusive. The court (MN court) ruled that she have sole physical custody, and the father gets some visitation rights. (The thing here is that he only takes him every other weekend, has his mom pick the boy up, and she basically does everything for him. He's a complete Man-child who only recently acquired his G.E.D. He's 23 years old, and can't maintain a job. He recently enlisted in the army, likely because that was the only way he could gain respect from anyone.)
My girlfriend has documented text messages, emails, and the like of him and his manipulative ways (i.e., "Sure I'll drop him off at daycare. But only if you give me head"). Is this enough of a case to rule that she is allowed to relocate with the child? Keep in mind, he won't be around for a while anyway as his contract requires a few years being stationed elsewhere. Please let me know if you have any relevant information or insight! Thanks.
TL;DR: | GF has sole physical custody of 2YO, wants to move to CA with me. The baby daddy is a master of douchebaggery. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] can't get over my ex [24F]
POST: Around 4 months ago she broke up with me over text. I didn't see her or spoken to her in person at all after that. I wanted to meet up and talk about it, because I felt like the matter was eating me from inside. I couldn't believe she would do that to me after 8 months. I felt really bad because she had said that it was all my fault. I know I wasn't the best boyfriend, but it's just not fair. I have apologized about my mistakes, why didn't she?
In the last 4 months I used my suffering as a leverage to go back to the gym, finally start doing martial arts and more importantly to go out a lot and meet people. I wanted to get laid as well, but I don't feel shameful about it.
Getting myself busy helped me shelter myself from that pain, but now I don't really have much to do until October when my 2nd University year starts. Now, when I'm not super busy I feel like the pain is coming back. I think about her constantly and cry like a little wuss on a daily basis.
A couple of weeks ago I broke off all contact with my closest friends because they left me in a night club and I realized they weren't true friends after all. I just feel so lonely, an empty shell of myself. I know that being with my ex wasn't a Disney tale, but it feels like without her I lost my life's purpose. We have talked about having a life after getting my degree in a non-cheesy way and I can't believe it just ended one day like it was nothing.
I think I know what the community will suggest; No contact for ever and ever. I just want to sort this one out. But how could message her asking 'so yeah I still have feelings and you owe me a talk'? She wouldn't do it.
As I said, I have been actively trying to get with other girls with no luck whatsoever. I don't know if that neediness is making me so depressed.
TL;DR: | Only after not being super busy have I realized that I still have feelings for my ex, and it's killing me inside once again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can I legally refuse to pay for terrible food?
POST: I live in the province of Ontario, Canada.
Today I had some disgusting food (It was Nachos, how do you screw that up?) and I accidentally left without paying a few hours later (honest mistake).
I was on my way back to the pub when I realized that I probably should have refused to pay for the crap food they gave me anyway, so I turned around and went home.
Normally I would just pay for the crappy food and not order it again, but with having to drive back there and also combined with an un-related incident where the owner of the place was being a huge pain in the ass to a bunch of us - I decided to turn around and go home.
I'm expecting them to bring it up next time I walk in there (they have beach volleyball courts and I've played there in a league twice per week for 9 years straight).
TL;DR: | Do I have any right to refuse to pay for crap food in Ontario and does the owner of the place have the right to refuse me future service based on this incident? |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Student Loans for a summer term
POST: This semester I didn't do too well. I went from making all A's and B's to one B, two C's, a D, and an F. My $1000 lottery scholarship is going to be lost. The good news is I can get the D and F replaced if I retake the classes, which I'll need to do in the summer. The problem is I cannot afford this. If I took loans for just the summer, would I be able to pay it back whenever, or do I have to wait until I graduate and let it add interest. I'll have the money by the end of this summer.
TL;DR: | Debating on taking loans for the summer. Could I pay them back after summer or do I have to wait until graduation. How much interest will be added? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my bf of 6 months [27M]. I have breast implants, thought he could tell, but found out he hates breast implants and can't tell mine are fake. Should I tell him?
POST: This happened 1 week ago but was deleted.
I have had breast implants since I was 19 as a gift from my parents, theyre both in plastic surgery. I'm glad I did it but I don't want any other surgeries. Mine turned out great and natural looking but I thought it was obvious by fondling them they're not real. So a few days ago about 6 months into our relationship my boyfriend pointed out a woman's chest at the bar that was obviously done not so greatly and said, "That's gross, I hate fake tits, you're so lucky to have beautiful ones like you do". He is a very conservative guy to begin with and has a lot of beliefs like that but I really still thought he could tell. He's had a decent amount of girls before me too so he should know what breasts feel like. Should I tell him and risk ruining his opinion of me?
TL;DR: | thought bf knew about my implants, but he doesnt and says he hates fake breasts. should i/how do i tell him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF [18F] keeps spending money on weed but not on the important things (such as a birthday gift for me [18M])
POST: We have been together for about 2.5 years now. She's had pretty consistent retail jobs for a while. She had been good with gifts, always getting me nice things.
Especially within the last year, she has been using weed a lot. She gets pay check and then spends nearly all of it on weed. However, she always complains about not having money.
For my birthday, our one-year anniversary and my graduation, she has gotten me next to nothing. For my birthday, she gave me her favorite book. For the others, nothing. I don't want to sound entitled or spoiled, but I find it very rude and unthoughtful that she doesn't get anything. She wouldn't even have to spend all that much, just something thoughtful and heartfelt would be nice, Before, we always would get each other thoughtful gifts, but now she blames her lack of money on not getting me a gift.
She said she was thinking of saving up on a nice, large gift for me. But she still has massive money problems and I can tell that that idea is nearly all gone.
Two weeks ago, she asked to borrow $50. No biggie, I give it to her providing that she'd pay me the next week, when she gets her paycheck. However, I'm gone the next week on vacation, and when I get back, she says she spent it. She claims she'll pay me next week.
I just find it really rude and inconsiderate. She both doesn't pay me even after making a promise, but worse so, doesn't even get me gifts for special occasions, all because she's spending all her money on weed. I want to talk to her about it, but she gets annoyed at the talk of it and I don't want to sound entitled or rude. She keeps spending all her money on weed and doesn't seem to think about other things.
TL;DR: | GF borrowed money, spent the money she was going to repay me with on weed. Also doesn't get me gifts anymore because she keeps spending her money on weed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22 M] My 3 closest friends[22/23 M/M], and my Fiance [21F] are all leaving at the same time. How do I cope with this?
POST: Hi everyone,
I don't really have anyone to talk to about what is going on in my life right now, but I need some advice on how to keep my head on straight with everything that is going on.
Some background:
Earlier this year in April my fiance broke things off with me, pretty much completely out of nowhere. We had been together for 4 years and I proposed in February. She continually tells me I did nothing wrong in the relationship, but that almost makes it worse that I am losing her and essentially nothing I have done is the cause. It seems like there is nothing I could do to rectify the situation. She is moving to Arizona and its pretty likely that things aren't going to work out for us.
Then, I got news shortly after that that my best friend [22M] is joining the airforce. I am happy for him, and I know this is something he wants to do and I think it will be awesome for him. I just wish it wasn't at a time in my life where I desperately need someone to talk to. I wont be in contact with him for close to 3 months.
On top of that, one of my long time friends and co-best friend [23M] has decided that him and his fiance are moving to minnesota to be closer to her family and so that he can find work after his graduation this year. He leaves the 12th and though I can talk to him on the phone, he is really preoccupied with all of the things going on in his life right now.
So essentially the 3 people that I care about most in my entire life are gone all at once. I have nobody else to talk to and for the first time in my life I feel really alone and I am having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around what to do. I don't really know how to meet new people.
TL;DR: | Everyone I have ever cared about is leaving within the span of 2 weeks and I don't know how to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my 23GF realistically upset about me (23M) about celebrities?
POST: I like watching movies and like saying if an actor or actress does a good job in a movie.
My girlfriend gets upset about this. She gets upset that I place so much value on a person who has a meaningless job (acting). I explain to her that I like watching movies and can notice if someone is doing a good job or not. Ever since she first brought it up, I don't talk about their performance.
She also doesn't like actresses, particularly big names like Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Lawrence etc. She says people that like them (whether for their "talent (in her opinion)" or their looks are individuals who only follow the general consensus and can't make their own opinion. I obviously cannot comment on these individuals.
When she found out I looked at the fappening pictures she was furious. She says I'm a weak person and that most people would not do this. She thinks I'm more attracted to them than to her because they don't look like her. She also thinks that because they don't look like her (and b/c I was looking at their pictures) that I am obviously not attracted to her and only like girls with their features (hair color, body and boob size).
Am I in the wrong here? Should I be censured for doing all of this? Can someone speak some sense here? To add, we've been together for 5 years believe it or not.
TL;DR: | Gf hates all forms of celebrities especially female. She thinks I obsess over them. Given the information, do I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By quoting a joke from /r/video
POST: I'll start by saying that I've been talking to this girl I met at a Thanksgiving party. She is such a sweet person, and we have so much in common that I can't help thinking I may have found a keeper. We have gone on a few dates. The most recent one was last night, which ended with us passionately making out and dry-humping on her bed before she asked that we stop because she wants to take things slowly. I'm cool with that.
So, I woke this morning to a text from my friend Neal that linked me to the Pencorder Dub video on youtube. I didn't watch the video right away. Instead, like the love bird that I seem to have become recently, I text the girl "Good luck at work today!" and then go back to watch my friend's video while taking my morning dump. Naturally, I end up watching interesting stuff on /r/videos while I make some coffee, and I stumble on this video:
I decide to quote the joke and send it back to my friend Neal as a text saying: "Hahahahaha! 'anal with my girlfriend made my whole day, but it made her hole weak."
To my horror, I realize that I have mistakenly sent that text to the girl since our conversation became the the most recent/top one in my text app as a result of me texting her when I woke up.
She hasn't replied, and I don't know if I should text her with an explanation or...?
TL;DR: | Texted a girl who wants to take things slow ""Hahahahaha! 'anal with my girlfriend made my whole day, but it made her hole weak." |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I need advice. My problem includes a tsunami, an aircraft carrier $4500 of suits and Hong Kong.
POST: So i was on deployment in the U.S. Navy....
Went and bought some nice suits to be picked up on my last day of liberty...
Tsunami hits the Philippines....
We leave the morning of my last day to help said Philippines.
No suit for you.
Anyways, i had given up after trying to call HK and couldn't find my receipt. Fast forward I find the receipt and am asking How would I go about trying to get the suits?(i would pay for shipping) The store is called Monaza's Fashion in Hong Kong.
I would appreciate any advice and or help.
TL;DR: | Im in US and am trying to get suits i paid for in Hong Kong that i couldn't get due to saving lives. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Need help with dealing with my [25/M] emotionally immature girlfriend [28/F]
POST: Using a throwaway account for this.
Reddit,
I have been dating my girlfriend for the past year and some change. We had known each other for a couple years before that. I have always known she was somewhat immature, but I am struggling with dealing with it constantly.
A few examples:
1. If I ever tell her I don't like what she's doing or ask her to leave me alone, she storms off and sulks.
2. She overreacts about EVERYTHING. She is pregnant right now (and I have been around plenty of pregnant women) and EVERY day is just constant complaining. I don't want to be rude so I listen but it's always "I'm so tired" or "I am in so much pain" or "I don't like my job" or "I want to quit." I understand pregnancy is a huge burden but I work 50 hours a week and on top of that spend at least 20 hours a week studying and I never complain about being exhausted.
3. We are living at her parents house to save money for our first home. While I can't thank them enough, her mom HAS to be involved with everything (overwhelmingly on her own accord but my SO still lets it happen). This is so frustrating as I feel like she should give us a little space.
Apologies if this is rambling. I love my girlfriend with all my heart and I look forward to having a family together, I just am at my wit's end with this behavior. I don't know if I should tell her she's acting immature (she absolutely HATES when I say she's acting like a baby so I stopped saying that) or just suck it up and never deal with it? If you think I am being an ass then please tell me that as well. I appreciate your advice.
TL;DR: | I sometimes feel like I am dating an emotional child and not sure if I should talk to her about it or just accept it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Craigslist scammer, how do I mess with him?
POST: Here's the backstory.
An acquaintance of mine, let's call him, Bob, is moving to Canada (Vancouver) from an african country.
Bob is a well paid business owner and needed a place for 5 months (with wife and 2 kids). Since he didn't not want to burden anyone (me or my brother) with the task of finding him a place here, he searched on Craigslist and this person promised him a 3 bedroom apartment in downtown Vancouver for $750. The rate for a 1 bedroom is around 1300-1500 here, easily.
Also, scammer has a UK number, because him and his wife are there for, in scammer's own words, "Empowering Youth to Fight Racism, HIV/AIDS, Poverty and Lack of Education, the programme is taking place in major countries in Europe and Africa which are UK, Spain,Germany,South Africa,Ghana"
So, Bob emails me to look into this and we figure out this is a scam. How can I mess with this scammer?
Latest communication between the 2 is at the stage where Bob has to send him a Western Union Transfer of for $750.
So, reddit, how can I mess with this scammer?
TL;DR: | An acquaintance of mine moving from Africa to Vancouver, Canada is being scammed by someone on craigslist apartment rentals. Help me with ideas on how to mess with the scammer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by rupturing my eardrum.
POST: Short TIFU, forgive the misspelling. I'm on an iPhone.
So a few days ago I was on my bed listening to music and not giving a damn. My ear was feeling uncomfortable and out of habit I pinch my nose and softly blow to re-pressurize them.
So as I am now aware thanks to my girlfriend, that is one of the worst things you could do to your ears. I feel a very sharp pain and hold my hand to my ear in pain. I'm rolling on the bed but trying not to alarm anyone passing by my room. The pain subsides about as fast as it comes and I go on with my night, chatting with friends on skype and relaxing.
Pressure soon builds up in my ear but I pay it no mind. I soon go to bed, not remembering to sleep on the hurting ear to help it drain and I only get 30 minutes of sleep before I wake up in a cold sweat due to pressure and pain in the ear.
A similar thing happened a year ago to the other ear so I get up and walk downstairs to the recliner and sleep on that to help the pain in my ear.
Only this time the pain and pressure were too much. I'm up till 4:30 in the morning with this, only getting 30 minutes of rest. I'm sleep deprived, in pain, and just want to go to sleep. All this causes a 26 year old man to break down into tears, rocking in the chair and mumbling to myself "I just want to sleep." In between the sobs.
My sister find me like this at five AM, my mother 30 minutes afterward. They try to help (using Advil and ear candles) but the pressure and pain do not stop.
I don't have health insurance.
TL;DR: | Ruptured my ear drum for the second time, making it worse then before. My poor ass became a sobbing wreck because I have been up for 23 and a half hours. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think he may be married and I don't know what to do.
POST: I (F29) met a (M31) while I was visiting some family in the UK in January. We met on tinder and we agreed to stay in touch until the next time I came out, and we would meet in person and see how well we clicked. (We've been dating casually long distance about 3 months now)
It started slow, we messaged back and forth via tinder, and exchanged a few (fully clothed) snapchats. We would talk about mutual interests and about each other hobbies and whatnot.
It progressed into some steamier skype conversations and some racier snapchats. He would comment on both my looks and tell me how perfect I am, and how he cant wait for me to come back to the UK. I wanted to see more pictures of him, and he is a semi public figure in his town, so I looked up his instagram account and looked through his pictures. I found he has an infant son, and from the looks of it he might have a fiance.
Now I am not sure if he was in a relationship and is on the rebound, or if he has a long term relationship with this woman I've seen, and I have unknowingly become his little thing on the side.
I am anxious about it and am now nervous to ask him if he is in a relationship, as he has several topless pictures of me. It all hit me at once that I could have gotten myself in the middle of something very dramatic, and I don't want it to end with nude photos of me being posted online.
Should I try to contact his possible fiance? Should I ask him what his relationship status is? Should I just drop it all together? HELP ME REDDIT!
TL;DR: | The man I'm seeing may be married, and I don't know what to do. I need advice on how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Oh jeez. I'm [31 M] getting a bite to eat with my ex [25 F] in half an hour. Any quick advice?
POST: My ex broke up with me about 3 months ago. She says she's open to ANYTHING, including going on without me (which she's been doing), and she's just seeing where life takes her right now I think.
Anyway, we've been chatting here and there, every other day or so, on IM. Haven't talked to her on the phone or in person in a while now.
Today she texted me and asked how I was, and told me a fair was going on in the park. So I suggested we go! And now we're doing that in 30 minutes.
My goal lately has been to be her "friend," show her I am still here and I still care about her, and not pressure her anymore about wanting to be back together. She knows I want that already, and I'm hoping with some more time, maybe she will want that again too.
So I guess I'm wondering what you guys think of this situation. Is there anything I should/shouldn't do when I see her?
TL;DR: | Quick advice on how to act around her? I want her back but don't wanna push her away by acting too needy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Should I Move in With My Gf or Back to My Parents *Sigh*
POST: So at the beginning of this year, I was fresh out of college and stressed out looking for a job. I didn't know what to really do because I hadn't even had an internship. Well a few months later, my aunt tells me she knows someone who is taking applications, and I end up getting a paid internship in Illinois.
Now, I have always wanted to move to Chicago, and now, they're telling me my internship ends in January. They have no plans on hiring anyone because they want an analyst/developer (good luck), and I am still pretty entry level on the analyst part.
While I have been in Illinois, I have gone to Chicago pretty much every other weekend because its pretty cheap and easy to do. I ended up getting a girlfriend in Chicago and we've been together for about 6 months. I have been looking for jobs in Chicago for 6 months from Springfield, IL with no luck. These last 3 months, I have really been busting my ass looking and calling.
My girlfriend has suggested that I just live with her for a few months, see how i like it, and split rent with her roommate (so it'd be like $300/mo which is a steal). Now, I still don't have a job up there, but I have saved up around $4000 in my 6 months from living with my aunt.
So reddit, my question is: Should I go up there and see if I can make it and get job(in let's say 3 months), or should I play it safe and go back to my parents house in TN?
TL;DR: | I'm torn because no job is guaranteed in Tennessee either, but financially I would spend less. However, Chicago rules, has my gf, low rent, but no job prospects atm. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] two months in, she's distant and wants a break
POST: I've been going out with my girlfriend for about two months, known each other for four, and recently she's been distant and less responsive with me in general.
Recently being the past three weeks, and kind of began after she broke her leg while we were climbing a wall which I blamed myself for. She said it wasn't my fault, and it was tense for a few days before we got back into the swing of it.
However, I haven't seen her since then. All attempts on my part to get together have been either accepted and cancelled later, or refused (with an excuse).
The past week she hasn't responded much to my attempts to communicate, and yesterday she told me she's suffering from depression and wants a break.
I'm not sure how to process it, or what to say to her at all. I don't want a break, and she doesn't seem too insistent, but the thought's there.
More importantly I want to know how I can be there for her. I've told her I'm available to talk to and all that, but she just tells me it's nice but won't help. I know there has to be a way for me to be there for her but I'm a bit blindsided and can't think.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend breaks leg, haven't seen each other since, recently distant, kind of wants a break due to depression, I want to help but can't/am not allowed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26/m] want to end it with my girlfriend [22/f] of 8 months, not sure if justified in "reasons."
POST: Long story short, the girlfriend and I started seeing each other earlier this year, just hanging out. I had just gotten out of a two year relationship, so I wanted to take things slow, and I told her that.
After about a month, she told me we had to take things to the next level because she was tired of being casual, so I agreed and we became boyfriend/girlfriend.
The only issue was that I was never really "ready" for it, but went along with it because I thought I would be.
A real problem for me the whole time was I was never sure if I was fully attracted to her or not, and I'm not sure why. She is a super nice girl and treats me well. I enjoy hanging out with her as a friend, but I often have no desire to kiss her anymore or do anything romantic... which I'm not sure why, because I couldn't keep my hands off her at the start.
We had this conversation right before I went on a vacation (about how I don't treat her like a girlfriend anymore.) While away, I decided I would want to end it with her, but I wasn't even sure what I'd say, because she treats me so well.
Now that I'm back, she is treating me so nicely, that I feel like a huge jerk by ending it, and worried that I might be making a huge mistake that I can never go back on... I worry that I might end it and realize I had a perfect girl, and was just being dumb this past year, but at the same time I feel like she deserves a guy that is fully in to her and wants a relationship 100% rather than casually hanging out.
TL;DR: | No longer attracted to girlfriend romantically, haven't been in a while, she is super nice to me, don't know if I'm justified to end it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [15M] feel like girls will talk to me for a couple months, then ignore me, and start talking to me a couple months later, only to ignore me again. Can anyone relate?
POST: So there is this girl [also 15] I met in elementary school , and we have been friends for over 6 years. We used to talk a lot, and we are both thinking about starting a relationship. Lately, she has been talking to me less and less, until the point where she would never answer my calls/ texts/ Skype requests, etc.
We don't really get to see eachother often, but when we see eachother she comes up to me and acts like she has been waiting 100 years to see me. So we talk for a while then eventually one of us has to go.
So then we will talk for a couple months, whether it is in person or online, then all of a sudden she will just ignore me for no reason at all. She is a pretty busy person, with cheerleading and all, and so am I with band and martial arts. I know how to work around her schedule so she isn't too busy at the time to respond. I will see that she is online on Skype, so I will send her a message just casually talking, and she will never respond. I only try to talk to her every couple days to not be bothersome, but she eventually will literally stop talking to me.
Then magically all of a sudden she is so happy to see me and wants to talk all the time, that is, until a couple months later when she ignores me again. This seems to happen with every girl I know and I want to know if I should just stop talking to her, but she is such a good friend and would make a great SO if I can figure this out.
TL;DR: | Girls seem to want to talk to me for a while, then will ignore me, then want to talk to me again for no reason at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by changing pill bottles
POST: "This didn't happen today" disclaimer, as is tradition.
My dog had bad allergies and would lick and scratch all the time, so I liked to have Benadryl pills on hand. Problem is, it usually comes in these pain-in-the-ass blister packs and I wanted a more convenient container since my large dog required more Benadryl than a person could take, so I opened the blister pack and put the pills in a smaller pillbox for ibuprofen or something.
I had been sick with mono and got a respiratory infection on top of it, so I went to the doctor and got an antibiotic. Within minutes of taking the antibiotic, I started sneezing uncontrollably. I'm talking like for minutes straight. So now I'm thinking, "That was weird," and I'm becoming very hot and itchy. I look at my arms and they are all red and blotchy, look in the mirror and my face is swelling up. I frantically start looking for the Benadryl, but of course I'm looking for a pink blister pack and then can't remember which bottle I switched it into.
At this point, my throat is itchy and swollen and I'm freaking out so I just get in my car to go to the nearby pharmacy. It's a rainy night so of course at the only red light in my way I get rear-ended by some teenager in a Jeep. I get out of the car looking like the [Elephant Man] and tell the kid to follow me to the pharmacy. He does, looking shocked as hell. I go in and buy Benadryl and take the maximum dose, go back out to the parking lot and get the kid's info, then go to the ER, where I am told that the wait time is 8 hours. I wait until it's safe to take a second dose and then leave. It took two days for the swelling to fully subside and for me to look human again.
TL;DR: | Played myself by switching pill bottles, then scared a new driver into thinking he'd made me into Elephant Man by rear-ending me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F/21] just dropped off my SO [M/22] at the airport, ending our expiration date relationship
POST: Previously posted here:
Basically my SO and I were in the most amazing relationship that had an expiration date with him leaving the country. Today I just dropped him off at the airport and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. We wrote each other the sweetest plane letters and cried. In my plane letter, I told him that after I'm done school in a year, I'd be happy to go move to where he is and he wrote that he's open to future possibilities should our paths ever cross again.
I don't really know where I'm going with this..I just really wanted to get this off my chest. We plan to stay in contact and remain close, I don't know if this will get too hard or if it's even a good idea. I guess I'm just lost and confused as to what to do next..and how to feel better about this break up
TL;DR: | SO and I ended our expiration date relationship with future possibility of getting back together. Plan to remain friends for the time being, but not sure what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My FWB [29M] told me [26F] something that caught me off guard.
POST: So long story short: my fwb and I have been 'together' about 6 months and it has developed from purely having sex and leaving to doing more couple type things.
The last week during sex he told me he missed me. Before that, sweet things like that were a rarity.
The other night I made a joke about us being best friends forever and he told me I was really his best friend (next to his dude best friend), and then later, he was talking about how it was hard to not have feelings for me and that he didn't like me. When I asked him if he really didn't like me he told me, "No. I don't like you. You're my best friend and I love you. I really mean that." (and I am 99% sure at this point based on context before and after it's not the friendship type love. Am I right to think this?)
We then spent some time talking about how he just doesn't want to date knowing that I'm probably going to be leaving in a year. In the beginning, he told me he didn't want to date at all. Then it turned into, a possibility. Now he seems to be stuck in this arbitrary state of being too scared to date because fear. I told him that that logic is stupid, especially since he's told me we are so similar that it's weird, and then he said it's just not what he wants to deal with at all. I mentioned possibly dealing with that in the future when it comes down to it.
Do you think there's any hope for the future? Is there anything I can do to maybe get things going to something more serious? Should I talk to him and tell him I'd really at least like the chance to make things serious? I'm not sure where to go from here...
TL;DR: | My [26F] FWB [29M] told me he loves me, and I am not sure where to go from here on out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: So my cat might have Vaccine-Associated Sarcoma. Anyone have experience with this?
POST: My cat is 9 years old. Over the past few years I was discovering tiny warts on him but monitored them closely. They never really grew but I was getting concerned that they also weren't really going away so I bought some clippers and gave my cat a haircut. That's when I discovered a fairly large lump on his back leg, right where he would have recieved a vaccine.
Took him to the vet and he lost it (he's not good at the vet) and so we couldn't do bloodwork yet. The vet said she was fairly sure that he probably had VAS from the size and location of the lump but we'd need bloodwork to confirm.
Doing the research about this, it seems like a very intense cancer for cats, with possibly multiple surgeries and chemo and not much chance of recovery. I'm very worried about my cat's quality of life if this is the case and I'm not really sure what to do.
Another thing: my cat had some major surgeries already when he was kitten and cannot walk very well on his back left leg. This lump is on his right leg and I'm SO worried that even if I do the surgery, I'd basically be crippling him.
I'm hoping to get some feedback and info from people who have actually had this happen and what the treatment was actually like.
TL;DR: | Already somewhat crippled cat may have VAS on his good leg. Worried about treatment. Advice from people who have gone through it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23/F] with my boyfriend [32/M] a little over a year, I feel like he's uncomfortable with my relationship with my best friend [28/M].
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and three months now, and things really couldn't be going better. We've talked plans for the future, engagement, marriage, everything, and are planning on moving in together at the end of the year. (Wish it was sooner, but life issues prevent that.)
Anyways, I've noticed that he gets kind of quiet whenever I bring up my best friend of 6 years, let's call him D. D and I have never been romantically interested in each other whatsoever-we consider each other to be the big brother/little sister that the other never had growing up. We've been through a whole hell of a lot together-toxic relationships/breakups for the both of us, severe depression episodes in which we talked the other through it (I'm not sure I'd be here if it wasn't for D), family drama, the whole nine yards. I even found out that he's moving to the city I'll be moving to and I'm honestly thrilled-we've only been able to meet in person a couple of times due to life's circumstances.
I've mentioned before that we only have a brother sister dynamic, but is there any other way I can reassure my boyfriend there's nothing to be worried about or do you think I'm just reading too much into the situation? He knows that I'd rather kill myself than cheat, and the thought of cheating with D is just...ew. Incest. No. I am admittedly not the best at reading social cues.
TL;DR: | I think my boyfriend is uncomfortable with my best friend being a guy. Is there any way I can reassure him about the situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He [23 M] wants to move to the city if he gets a promotion and I [22 F] don't want to. What now?
POST: We both currently make about the same, give or take a couple hundred dollars. Net, 31200 dollars and gross, 44720 dollars.
30% (780 dollars/mth) of our net income should go to rent and right now we are renting a 2 bedroom apartment outside of NYC for 1200 so we both pay 600. I'd say that's pretty good. Both our families are close by (his being two floors down from us which saves us money in terms of dog walking/sitting and food expenses) and we are saving money.
I am paying down student loans now and want to put money toward a Roth IRA, downpayment on a house, and emergency fund when I am done paying my loans so I'd like to stay in this apartment until all my student loans are paid since we would be saving a lot.
If he gets promoted, he will be making 60k gross (don't know how much net but NY taxes are a bitch). He wants to move to the Upper East Side (rent ranges from 1500 to 2000 dollars for a studio-1br) or Astoria (rental rates are about 300-500 dollars less than UES for a 1br). I say no to paying $1800-$2000 for half of what he have now. That's a poor financial decision.
His main claim is that moving will allow him to be closer to work and school. I say be a responsible adult and get up earlier. People have much longer commutes and are doing just fine (30-40 minutes is not that long of a commute).
I mean, I'll compromise if I only put 780 dollars toward rent but he says that's unfair. Why should I pay half if he would get paid more? Anyway, he's not big on the idea of saving for the long term. I think he feels it's too far away. Whenever I bring up our personal finances he just tells me to shut the fuck up.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | BF wants to leave to a more expensive apartment when he gets more money but I want to stay so I can save for the long term. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 F] am having problems with my co-worker [18 F] being rude.
POST: I (21/f) started a new job 3 weeks ago. Almost all of my co-workers have been amazing and happy to help me, but there is one girl (18/f) who seems to have a problem with me. This person is also new to the company; she's only worked there for a month and a half and she is leaving to go off to school at the end of August.
I consider myself a nice and friendly person, and I can't think of anything I have done that would have rubbed her the wrong way (everyone else at this new job seems to like me). I know that we won't be best friends because we are very different people, but I was hoping to at least make an effort to be nice to her by trying to start conversations and asking her about herself. When I have tried to talk to her she won't look at me and will give me very short answers. After multiple attempts to engage her, I'm not sure what to do. She is very talkative and nice to our customers and other co-workers, it seems like only me that she has a problem with.
Should I bring this up somehow? Should I cut off all conversation besides work related because she's leaving in August anyways? I don't want to be mean back to her, or have her get in trouble in any way, but it's really bothering me that she's being so cold for seemingly no reason.
TL;DR: | New co-worker is very curt with me for seemingly no reason and is nice to everyone else. I need help with what I should do, if anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: [Dog] has ringworm, need some help
POST: I'll try to keep this as short as possible, but give as much information as needed. My wife and I live overseas. We have 2 dogs and a one year old son. We were recently back in the States for 6 weeks, and our dogs were watched at our apartment. We got an email from the vet saying that one dog was brought in, and they suspected he had ringworm. A culture 5 days later came back positive. We found this all out a few days before arriving back from our summer break. Ringworm is very contagious, and the vet suggested keeping Oliver (the ringworm positive dog) away from Winston, our baby and us. We rescued Oliver and Winston, and they both have some anxiety issues, which would make separating them very difficult for their mental well being. It takes at least 1 month for ringworm to go away, but Oliver isn't declared ringworm negative until 2 monthly cultures come back negative. I actually asked the vet before we left for the States what the skin irritation on Oliver's body was, and they didn't think much of it then. So he has had ringworm for a few months now (no sign of ringworm on Winston). There was not much information online about dogs and ringworm, so I was just hoping to get some advice about:
1. Shielding our baby and other dog from getting ringworm
2. Helping Oliver to recover from ringworm as quickly as possible.
Thank you for your suggestions.
TL;DR: | 1 of our 2 dogs have ringworm. Don't want our baby to get ringworm and want to know any ideas about helping to get rid of ringworm quicker. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm hugely incompetent at thinking of things to say to people face-to-face, but IM and texting are no problem. Anyone else like this?
POST: So, I've never been much of a chatter, and I used to have pretty bad social anxiety, but I decided that I wanted to be more talkative and able to carry on a good conversation. I'm done being the guy who doesn't say anything. I've overcome a lot of my social anxiety and no longer feel that gut-wrenching "I need to get out of here" feeling in social situations, but I still have problems thinking of things to say. My mind goes blank, and nothing to say comes to me, so I simply nod and say "Yup. Uh-huh." I try to be interested in and curious about the other person so I can ask follow-up questions or say something that relates to them, but I never feel like I have anything to add.
Curiously, this isn't a problem when I'm IMing or texting someone. Things to say just come to me; carrying on a good conversation isn't a struggle and comes rather naturally.
I'm really having trouble pin-pointing what my problem is here despite my best efforts. Has anyone else had this problem, and does anyone have some an explanation or some tips to overcome it?
TL;DR: | I can communicate well through text communication but when I have to speak verbally, I can't think of anything to say. Why? Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: In what little ways have you been permanently ruined?
POST: My girlfriend is very intelligent (engineer), but she has a minimal grasp on Geography (cue American joke). Last year, we spent a combined 17 days in the UK and Ireland.
Now, I've known for a long time that Britain looks like a rabbit (plain as day to me) and Ireland looks like a buffalo on its side heading North (work with me here!), but it was never a big deal.
I had fewer problems with Ireland (you're less complicated), but I spent months beforehand and the full time in Britain explaining where we were, where we were going, etc by explaining it in terms of "the bunny".
"Loch Ness is up in Northern Scotland. It runs from Inverness and goes Southwest ... (sees this is going nowhere) ... See the Bunny's ears? Loch Ness Separates the Bunny's ears. We can't go there because the trains don't quite go there, because Northern Scotland is sparsely ... (going nowhere again) ... because the ears are empty. No one lives in the Bunny's ears."
TL;DR: | Dumbed down Geography has ruined me so that anytime I look at Britain, all I see is a stupid rabbit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[19M/F] with [18M/F]... I think she likes me.
POST: I met a freshman girl who seems to be interested in me; or at least that's what my friends have picked up. I met her during the first week of school, but only really started talking to her last week. I am not sure if she just wants a friend or not. I came up to her and talked for about 3 hours and watched a movie with her in my dorm. I invited her to play golf with me the morning after. We play golf and she insisted that I hang out with her the whole day. So, she'd follow me to lunch, study, play a few games of billiards and dinner followed by more studying even though I am 3-4 classes ahead of her.
Apparently she had made a side comment to my friends during dinner while I was getting food telling them that she does not think I like her. That might be a legitimate observation, I am not the most expressive human being. And paired with her presumption that I've had multiple girlfriends in the past might indicate that she has labelled me as a sufficient specimen.
The embarrassing thing is that I've never had a girlfriend before. I don't know where to go from here. I may just be over-analyzing this. She's a sweet girl, but she might just be interested in me because I am in a position of authority, older and Asian. The thing is that she's Asian, but adopted by a white family living in a predominantly white community. I think I might be one of the few Asians that she's really talked to. She might just be reaching out for the Asian identity. But I might just be over analyzing again.
TL;DR: | A girl might like me. I have no idea where to go from here; I've never crossed the border before. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/21] met someone [M/21] online. We got along pretty well when we met. Sending me mixed signals now.
POST: Hi everyone! I'm in need of a bit of advice. I don't really have anyone I can to about this, because I'm not really out (I'm bisexual) to anyone but myself.
I met this guy online about 3 weeks ago. We migrated to texting and agreed to meet for a few drinks after he got off work one night. I thought it went pretty well. His profile said he was shy and he was definitely shy. But I think overall we enjoyed each other's company. We didn't text for a few days and so I sent him a four or five sentence text about how I liked him and if he didn't like me that that's completely ok and that he should tell me without being afraid of hurting my feelings. He took very kindly to that and told me he thought I was a really nice guy and would like to see where things go with us. That made me feel better.
We texted on and off a few times during the week. This past Friday I asked him if he'd like have dinner with me on Saturday. He apologized and he said that he would but that he already had plans with a friend he hadn't seen in a while. I said that was fine and not to worry about it and that he should have fun with his friend. I asked him a few hours later if he was busy that night. I apologized for the short notice and that I understood if he already had plans, but he told me that he was working.
After that, I felt kind of embarrassed that I may have been too forward or too pushy and so I texted him apologizing if I made him feel that way and that it wasn't my intention at all. That was last night (Monday) and he still hasn't texted me back. =\
I'm just not understanding what I'm doing wrong. He clearly expressed that he was interested in getting to know me more, but he often seems aloof or distant and not very talkative. I don't know if that's just his personality, he really wasn't into me even though he said he was, or if he's just playing hard to get or something.
Any advice or input is appreciated. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Met a guy, we got along. We agreed that we would like to see more of each other. Now he's kind of distant. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [30F] don't want to be the center of attention but then I do want to be recognized by my friends [various].
POST: Essentially I'm in a historical study group with some friends. We study historical documents, or papers relating to historical documents that we've found.
On one hand, I love to share things just with my friend. He never responds (another gripe for another time) but he will talk about them later. I really like when I find things that will interest him, and sending him an email.
On the other hand, when things are discussed in the group, I would like it if I would be seen as being a contributor- esp. when it's things that I found. My friend is in charge of the weekly reading and will sometimes send out things that I sent him, which is fine. I really try hard not to keep score.
But when I am talking to the group, there is one guy who will just start talking when I'm speaking, and essentially force me to stop. Recently I've not stopped, but I never like trying to out asshole someone. The same guy will respond to anything that I present to the group with a 'I'll have to look that up.' He responds to my friend much more positively. Honestly I'm a bit jealous.
I've been struggling with this for a while, I just posted something I had sent to my friend to the email list. I don't like how uncomfortable I feel about doing that. I don't like being out in front.
I also just found something I want to share with my friend, but I don't want him to feel that I send him something and then try and take all the credit and to dominate the conversation.
TL;DR: | I just want to be seen as at least smart, and like I'm contributing. Mostly though, I just want to send my friend things. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: episioplasty/vulvaplasty recommended for my dog...
POST: i have a 3 year old french bulldog. we've been having problems with external infections around her vulva for more than a year now -- it gets red bumps, and enflamed and darkly colored. i know a lot of it is caused by urine scald.
even when i clean her with a baby wipe and baby powder everyday (at the vet's suggestions), i can barely keep it at bay.
so finally at the vet yesterday, she suggested episioplasty. i trust our vet a lot, and we have tried all we can to fix the problem without something so extreme or invasive. of course i still don't want to put her through any unnecessary procedures, but if it's going to be done i suppose it's best to have it done while she is young and will recover more quickly than if she was an older dog.
has anyone on here had a dog that's gone through an episioplasty? or anyone have any experience with this kind of problem? the vet has said (and i've read online) that it can also cause internal infections, like UTIs and in rare cases kidney infections.
i'm just apprehensive about it, though it appears it's the best thing to do, and would love any input or support from r/dogs.
thanks for reading!
TL;DR: | after a long time struggling with infections around her vulvla, i'm considering having episioplasty done for my frenchie - any thoughts or input? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [HELP] 10-weeks-old German Pinscher can't sleep alone.
POST: I've just adopted a German Pinscher. He was on the road to get put asleep, due to his survived aortic dissection (I'm not quite sure whether this is a proper name or not, however he couldn't eat anything that was in solid state, he could swallow and digest liquid foods only).
So I took him, paid $2,000 for the surgery, I still feed him in standing positing until he fully recovers, but most importantly, now I have the best, most loving 10-weeks-old puppie I could ever imagine.
The thing is, he just won't sleep alone. When he naps during he day, he just has to touch me or my fiance, even by the toe and then he falls asleep right away. Although, he likes to just lay full on our laps.
We took him to our bed for last 3 nights in a row, because we had guests and when he sleeps with us, he doesn't want to go out entire night - just sleeps 8 hours straight.
Tonight we wanted to put him back to his place (blankets and pillows, where he keeps his toys and where he sleeps when none of our laps is "available" for him). But he just didn't want to leave us, he started barking and howling and crying so loud my fiance started crying as well and it was really heart-breaking.
I would manage to wait until he gets bored of it, but he howls so loud, our neighbors 4 floors above could easily hear him and it's long after 1am right now here in Poland.
The question is: what can I do to make dog sleep alone?
TL;DR: | dog has to sleep with us, or cries so the whole building can hear him. Looking for help in changing his behavior. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: ~3 yr old rescue loved people, now scared of people--UNLESS they smell like dogs
POST: I got my pit/shepherd/? when she was 1.5 yrs old. Our first 2 months, she loved meeting strangers, and I took her everywhere.
One year later, she barks at anybody who interacts with her or speaks to me. She reacts when someone says "Excuse me," "Hi," or when someone makes a kissy sound at her. I avoid eye contact during walks so nobody talks to me.
Occasionally, my dog sees a stranger and pulls/smells as hard as she can. The person says "Hi," and my dog gets wiggly and happy--woah. It turns out the person has a dog or works in animal control or something that involves dog hair.
This isn't just during walks. She barely reacts when dog-smelling people come over, but goes nuts when a non-dog person comes in. On quiet trails, she will rush/bark at hikers without dogs and is instant friends with hikers with dogs (we no longer hike).
**What is happening? To her, you either smell like a dog, or you might be a murderer.**
My dog *does* love all people (regardless of color, size, gender, age--I've tested), but she needs ~10 minutes to investigate non-dog people without interaction. Then she's bringing toys and lying at their feet for pets.
My hypothesis is that the dog smell makes her feel safe. My dog is anxious and not confident. When I first got her, my dog had an older dog friend whom she copied like a little sibling. And my dog loves going on outings with other dogs--never seen her react when she's with a friend or a pack. **If this is the case, would a calm and confident second dog help her?**
Thoughts and recommendations? I'm starting private training once a week on top of her reactivity class because this people issue is making it so nerve-wracking to walk her.
TL;DR: | Dog loved people, now fear-barks and rushes anyone who interacts with her or speaks with me, unless they smell like dogs. Why is this happening, and would having a second dog help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Despite an awesome relationship, my SO[28F] and I[31M] are at a 'make it or break it' stage due to emotional commitment issues. I could use a little hope, anyone care to share a related story that worked out?
POST: My SO and I have been together for nine months (we've known each other much longer online) though she has been away for work several months at a time. We write when we are apart, but things started to get more serious right before she left the last time. A couple months passed, and now that she's back, she wanted a break to figure things out. She's afraid of commitment, and the l-word (she's afraid we've met too soon), but things had been going very very well until then; family holiday dinners, fun and interesting times together, plans for travel and collaborative art projects, even giver-giver relationship, deeply satisfying sex, etc. Things have reached a head, and I'm hopeful, but could use a little spirit boost right now if anyone is willing to share a similar story that worked out.
TL;DR: | Things are getting more serious and she is afraid of commitment. I could use a little boost hearing about similar situations that worked out for people. Thank you! |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Starting my weight loss journey but I'm scared...
POST: Hi there. F22 5'7 SW:267 CW:260 GW:150 here I'm just starting my weight loss journey and I'm scared. I'm about two weeks in right now. But I'm not just a little scared, but down right terrified. I'm very sensitive about my weight /the way I look and I can already feel some weight coming off. But I'm really scared about making my actual goal weight. Its almost like this magical number that I haven't seen since I was going through puberty. I'm also very worried about having excess skin left over and the feelings that will come with that. I'm currently working out 5-6 times a week doing cardio (elliptical, treadmill, rowing machine and stationary bike as well as throwing in swimming every other work out) as well as eating the healthiest I've ever ate (breakfast, lunch and dinner very healthy no junk food). Honestly I've had a few slip ups already (at Jimmy Johns at work and chicken nuggets another day). I bought a fit bit about a week ago and it's been super helpful as well as my fitness pal. I want to start my journey off in the healthiest manner possible in order to reduce my anxiety and fears. Am I doing things correctly? If I'm not how can I improve? Any advice or words of encouragement? Thank you!
TL;DR: | starting to lose weight, f sw:267 cw:260 gw:150 5'7 I'm scared and looking for advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [m24] need help breaking up with my unstable GF [f24]
POST: Context: We've been together 4 years, she has very few friends she can talk to, and has anger problems and other similar issues via abusive relationship with parents (no longer in her life) that have worsened over the course of our relationship. She insists I'm the only person she's ever loved and would otherwise live comfortably as a loner the rest of her life (even considered being a nun once), that said I am still her world.
My problem is very basic and silly. I don't want a relationship anymore, but I am struggling to get out as I don't want to break her heart considering all the good she's done for me and how much I mean to her.
I'm tired of her random tirades, explosions of bitchiness, talking at me for hours at a time, and interrupting me in conversations or not giving me room to say anything. I just want to be alone. Also, our sex has also been mediocre since the first year (She is what this sub would call "pro-sex asexual"), I've lost attraction to her, and I'm overall extremely depressed how much she has changed from the young woman I fell in love with.
On the other hand, I still do care about her, want to make her happy, and when she isn't behaving like a child, is a complete sweetheart. Ugh.
To make matters more interesting, we still have another year on our lease, and since she has no parents or friends to move in with and can't afford the rent on her own, I have to live with her for the whole time.
I've seen this said several times in breakup discussions: she IS NOT eager to find love again, so please save the "Stop wasting her and your time and break up so she can find someone else" comments. :/
TL;DR: | I want out, but breaking up would be one of the worst things to happen in her life and I still care very much about her, how do I go about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (22f) with my boyfriend (24m) always lies to me about going out and I can't deal.
POST: I have big issues with knowing what time everything is going to happen. It makes me really uncomfortable not knowing exactly what's going to happen. I am weird, I know I'm weird. But that's just me. I am a crazy organised person and when things don't go according to plan I freak out. I organise most things months in advance and knowing exactly when things are going to happen makes me feel calm. I know it's silly. But that's me
My boyfriend, Brian and I have been dating for 5yeaes and live together. His great, no other issues etc. But my issue is every time he goes out he will do things like tell me he will be home at 1am then come home at 3am. Every. Time. He goes to the pub with his friends across the road. Tells me 10, comes home at 11.30. Stuff like that. The worse one was he told me 1am, I texted him to ask him where he was at 2am and then checked Facebook when he didn't respond. He had made a status saying "can anyone pick us up and take us home" 15 minutes AFTER I messaged him. I have my fucking licence. I could have got him.
I have conversations with him and tell him how uncomfortable this makes me. He says he understands then does it again. I'm literally in tears because he told me I would pick him up at 12 (we have heaps to do tomorrow) so I have been waiting up for 4 hours (I have only had 3 hours sleep and am desperate for bed) then he texts me half hour before I leave and is like "btw I am staying out till whenever I want and am getting myself home".
I know it's silly that it makes me so uncomfortable. But I'm literally crying because I am so upset that plans have changed last minute. He knows it upsets me and still does this everytime. **side note I can't sleep without him there so I have to wait up, otherwise I take a sleeping pill early but now it's too late to do that
TL;DR: | boyfriend tells me he will be home and always comes home hours after agreed upon and only tells me sometimes. It makes me really uncomfortable when I don't know his plans. We live together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I[20/f] am in fight with bf [20/m] don't know how to handle it
POST: I'm sorry this is long, and I know it's a wall of text I'm just way too upset to fix it. Please and thank you for your time.
On Wednesday I was supposed to go to this informational school thing with my bf. I was really sick and slept in so I couldn't meet him at out designated time which was 12, so he goes home to sleep or do whatever and I decide to go at 1. I am at school and I have this problem where I get scared to ask about things, and end up not doing it. I did that this time and I have done this before and this really ticks off my bf. I tell him I'm too scared and he kind of makes me feel bad saying "how will you ever grow up if you can't do this one thing" "you want be in this job area but you can't go and talk to people how are you going to do this job?" So I feel really bad and in the end he tells me to just go home if I can't do this. Now I got really worked up and again I'm sick so I go home feeling way worse and end up puking. I text him telling him I bought something that I've been wanting and he texts "did you really not go?" And I say "I didn't go" he then IGNORES ME! He is still ignoring me and it's the next day! I see him on the street (because we are at school) and we make eye contact and he gives me a smirk like he's trying not to smile and I smack his shoulder but nothing!!!! I texted him after and nothing! I've actually spammed his phone. So I finally messaged him on Facebook saying "Message me back telling me what is going on so we can fix it, and of we can't then tell me instead of ignoring me. You may not care but I do." I say you may not care because he is always saying he doesn't care about pretty much my feelings, let's just say it's tough love?
Thanks again and what I really want to know is how do I solve this?
TL;DR: | Made bf angry by getting scared of asking questions now he won't talk to me. What do I say to solve this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25f] met a guy [27m] on Tinder and don't know where we are headed.
POST: Maybe the caption says it all, we did meet on Tinder after all.
So, I met this guy on Tinder back in August and we have met up once, hit off pretty well, had an awkward official date, and have hung out at Starbucks twice since then. This all happened in the span of August to the end of September, and since then I have been so busy and we text less and haven't made plans to hang out. We are both into each other, but I feel like he is much more interested in me physically. We haven't had sex yet but it comes up frequently, lately we have been texting each other and have been pretty flirty and suggestive and talking about our preferences.
The thing is, he is super into sex, and I am not so much...before I met him I even wondered if I am into guys or possibly asexual. But I am very attracted to him and am entertaining the idea of sleeping with him. But honestly, I would rather have someone to spend time with and do fun things with. Being physical is great, but I don't want to just have a fling with him. There feels like there is untapped potential for us to be more than friends but I don't know how. How can I figure out what we are doing? I think he wants to be more casual but I just don't know!
TL;DR: | Met a guy on Tinder a few months ago, we hit it off and tried dating, but I think he wants to be more casual now but I'm unsure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Going on a dinner date. What are some ways I can show/say I'm interested? [24F & 24M]
POST: This will be our second date. We connected on OkCupid and met up last week for that traditional first coffee date. It went really well... he looked exactly like his photos (this is a good thing), he seemed glad to meet me, and somehow we had enough in common that when I had to excuse myself to go meet my sister for dinner 3 hours later, it still felt like we were cutting the conversation short.
Since then, we've been texting about every other day. The day after the coffee date, he said he had a lot of fun and wanted to see me again, so we set up the aforementioned dinner date. After that, I initiated a conversation, then he started one about an activity I'd mentioned doing.
Anyways, I've been going on a lot of first and second dates recently, but this is the first guy in a while I really am interested in. He's attractive, smart (getting his PhD in biomedical sciences), friendly, and overall a catch. How do I show him I'm interested? I am not particularly good at flirting and I don't want to mess up.
TL;DR: | Going on a second date with a guy I'm into, and I need flirting tips so I can hopefully secure a third date. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 19f with fiance 20m and roommate 19m- fiance and I recently got infected with scabies and have started treatment, roommate refuses
POST: Recently, my fiance (20 m) and I (19f) moved into a new apartment with a mutual friend (20m) and somehow contracted scabies (don't know how). We've both been itchy af and have been to the doctor who confirmed that it was scabies for the both of us. Our room mate (20m) has not had symptoms of scabies bites appear yet but I have asked him to get treated as well and to treat his clothes and linen so that our apartment does not get reinfested after treatment.
My room mate refuses to buy the lotion needed to kill the mites on his skin (if there are any on him) and refuses to rewash and dry his linen and clothes. I'm scared that if he does not get treated the infestation of our apartment will not go away. I'm almost there to asking him to move out if he refuses treatment . He is not on the lease.
TL;DR: | infestation of scabies mites in apartment, roommate refuses treatment and I'm scared of reinfestation. I'm itchy af D: |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: 77yo. Mother is annoying and controlling
POST: Mom's health is steadily degrading and she's constantly complaining about the state of affairs, things she can't do anymore, etc. However, she makes it utterly impossible for anyone to help. I go spend the summer with mom and help around the house... No place to sleep, rooms are filled to the gills with things she finds at yard sales. Clear out a room to sleep and she complains bitterly and endlessly about how "everything" has moved.
I start helping her out with chores around the house and she starts bossing me around over the most insignificant of details. I start doing it my own way when she's not looking but this has the risk of creating an aire of distrust at times. Eventually she breaks down and starts getting mean about it. Claiming I just "barged in" and "took over the place" telling my siblings "... he just does as he damn well pleases and never consults with ME about anything..." etc.
She's fallen down several times and cannot get up without assistance so its a dangerous situation for her to continue on like she is. The sad part about it all is the people who take advantage of her all the time. She hires a maid who steals from her regularly (caught red handed 3x now but mom refuses to press charges and keeps inviting her back to help), or people come into the house and steal things from her freely since she hasn't locked the doors in over 40 years now. The house is a first class wreck at this point as she's a level 3 hoarder. She gets sick (like have to go to the hospital for 2-3 days - THAT kind of sick) from time to time because she eats under-cooked or rotten foods left in the refrigerator for days/weeks, etc.
I've talked with my siblings about taking away her drivers license which would put her in a situation where she would require assistance by force majure but none will endorse it even if I were the one responsible.
TL;DR: | Mom doesn't want help, just wants people to boss around. She's vulnerable but vigilant about her independence. Not sure what to do about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with LDR girlfriend [25F] of 3 years, lack of relationship experience has made me paranoid about the future
POST: I should preface this with the fact that I tend to think too much, and have been under a lot of stress recently, as it's my final year of university, which means that this could be stupid worry. But it's meant I've been thinking more seriously about my future.
We were a little rocky for the first year or so, but last two years have been great, we share humour, entertain each other share hobbies. She's one of the smartest, funniest people I know, and I see her pretty often for a LDR relationship (around once every 3 weeks or so). She was my first sexual partner, and first serious relationship. I was not her first, and I am 100% ok with that. The big thing here for me is that I have nothing to compare this relationship with, I know it sounds stupid, but I don't know how a 'good' relationship is meant to feel.
Now it's come to the point we've planned to move in together after I graduate, as I already have a job in the city she lives in, and I've paid the deposit and have a 3 week backpacking booked with just her. I'm super excited for this in general, although a little worried our relationship will get a bit boring, or change once we're moved in. I don't want to go down one route and then possibly realise years later that I'm miserable, I want path that would be best for me. And I'm wondering whether that may involve being with other girls, and maturing on my own outside the relationship. If we move in, I don't see us breaking up, and I can see us getting married.
TL;DR: | Relationship is good, do I hope that I'm also happy in future? Or break it off and explore other things/people to expand my experiences of relationships? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24 F] dad [62 M] gave my phone number to a stranger [Unknown age M] he met at a bar.
POST: About a half hour ago, I received two texts from an unfamiliar number. They read:
> Hey I met your dad the other day and he gave me your number to give you some encouragement and just say hi!
> By the way my name is Bob
I would say that my father and I are fairly close, but giving my phone number to a random man he met at a bar makes me feel extremely uncomfortable . It's also worrisome because I know my father has a tendency to drink a lot when he is depressed or dealing with stress, which has been a recurring problem as of late. My older sister [26F] struggled with a severe case of anorexia between the ages of 11 and sixteen. A couple years ago, she relapsed and has been extremely resistant to treatment this time around. She looks skeletal, and out of everyone in my family, my father and I have been taking her most recent relapse the hardest. So, I'm guessing my father had a drunk conversation with this man about my sister and I. Then, somehow, it seemed like a good idea to give out my phone number.
Should I tell my father that I am not okay with this? I am hesitant to do so because doing something like this is so uncharacteristic of him. There's a good chance he doesn't even remember giving out my number. I also do not want to cause him any additional stress by pointing out that his drinking is becoming a problem (this would not be the first time), and that what he did is completely inappropriate. Also, I am hoping my father was not attempting to set me up with this guy, because I came out as a lesbian to him not too long ago. If that were the case, it would cause me to feel even more uncomfortable, as I thought he was accepting of my sexuality.
TL;DR: | My dad went to a bar and drunkenly gave my number out to someone he just met without my consent. Should I confront him (and possibly cause him more stress) or pretend this never happened? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Myself (18m) cannot work out if friend (18f) is into me, need perspective!
POST: So we're both 18, and just finished school. Now we get on well together and I think there could be romantic interest, but I'm terrible at reading interest from girls, always have been.
Here's where it's tricky. I asked her out on a date around 4 weeks ago, and she politely declined, and thankfully it hasn't been awkward at all and in a weird way it may have even brought us closer together. She said she "did not want to date at the moment" which I believe is true because at the time she was about 4 months out of a 2 year relationship that ended sourly (she was cheated on basically). An even bigger factor than that though is that she was going to go to university this September, but didn't get the grades required which is why she's now staying put.
So the last couple times I've seen her since asking her out I've been nothing but normal, I'll admit I was bit bummed out about being turned down, (I really like her) but I haven't been creepy or persistent about it. When we've been together (in group settings) generally her attention has been toward me, and I've done subtle 'tests' like leaning my leg against hers to see if she's comfortable with the contact (she doesn't pull away). We laugh a lot too, and now I'm stuck wondering whether i should ask her out again, wait longer before asking, or just move on. Any and all advice appreciated!
TL;DR: | Asked out friend on a date, she said no due to external circumstances (possibly/probably), now left wondering whether to try again now circumstances have changed for the better. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [32F] interested in [41M] coworker...who is also a team manager.
POST: For the past year, I have had a small crush on a co-worker who just happens to be a manager of one of my teams at work. He's single, asks me to go with him to get drinks after work(which he pays for after I tell him I will gladly buy our drinks,etc), shares similar interests with me(ex. leaves posts on my social media channels of music or movie news, "friends" me on most of these platforms, we make small talk about news or about our families), drives me home after work some nights, and is generally a considerate person. Yet, I can't tell what the deal is--he has mentioned in team work outings to the bars around work that he would never date anyone from work but how "super single" he is.
Not sure if I should make a move, or mention to him my feelings. I'm also concerned about our working relationship...yet people at work do date and some are even engaged(I work with 500+ people) or married(met at work). Am I making this more complicated?
TL;DR: | crush on a manager at work who is single and possibly shows interest but I can't tell. Tell him how I feel or let it go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How much control does you partner have on you? when does it get past a limit? and at what point is it compromising or giving up your rights as a human lol
POST: Alright so I finished my last exam on the thursday and all my mates go to the pub on thursday but as i was trying to be disciplined throughtout the semester, i never went and often spent the night with her. Now that i had finished my exams i thought i'd go to the pub.
I knew my girlfriend was gonna be hanging out with her friends and going to see the new twilight so i thought i'd leave her to it and not bother it.
So supposedly these girls were complaining about how there boyfriends always go out and dont tell them and my girlfriend "Oh mines good he always tells me"
So the next day i'm talking to her and shes like did you go to the pub last night and I said "yeah and I was about to go in the city instead but i decided to save my money"
so at the end of it all i've ended up in the bad books.
TL;DR: | Essentially that was the back story that started me thinking about this question. there's a lot more to the context of our relationship but this got me thinking today. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] don't feel like I'm getting adequate time with my gf [21 F].
POST: I'm not sure if I'm just being selfish or not.
I see her about once every week at the *very most*. She's still in school, I've graduated and work full-time. She uses the weekends to get things done whereas with me being in a M-F 9-5 job, it's the most convenient time for me to see her. I always try to make quick plans with her e.g. grab bubble tea/lunch or whatever just so we can check in and say hi, and although it wouldn't take more than 30 minutes, she always tells me she's too busy. I know she's really putting in work, I trust her fully, and the time we do spend together is always magical, but I can't help but feel like we're just not spending adequate time together. I'd really appreciate it if I could see her at least 2-3 times a week, even if it's just for 15-30 minutes a time.
She is always available to text, but unfortunately that just doesn't do anything for me. I'd much rather be there in person to hold her hand.
What are your thoughts? If I really am just being selfish here, I'll work on myself and try to be more independent.
TL;DR: | I don't feel like I'm getting adequate time with my gf. How often do you see your s/o? Any general independence and space tips for a healthy relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[22M] three month girlfriend's[23F] father[~60M] is uncomfortable with me being black.
POST: After three months of dating we were are eating out with her parents, who I've met a few times before. They've been friendly enough, but I've been feeling an odd vibe about how they talk to me. At tonight's dinner I found out why.
As we were leaving, her father pulled me aside, and started apologizing for how he is uncomfortable with a black guy dating his daughter, and that he feels difficult with me and my girlfriend around. He explained that he has grown in a somewhat racist society, and the racism is so deep in him that he feels this way. He also told me he's glad I seem to make his daughter happy, and he's trying to work to get over his racism. He felt he needed to get that off his chest to start working on it, and asked me not to tell anything to my girlfriend.
I was, of course, a bit shocked about that, but told him that it was great to hear that straight. We shook hands and said goodbye.
It bothers me a little, I'm a bit afraid of the next time I see the parents. Should I try to work out a new dinner as soon as possible? Invite his father out for beers? I don't want my own anxiety grow too much here either.
TL;DR: | GF's father came out of the closet with his racism, was apologetic. GF Doesn't know. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making plenty awful decisions resulting in an epic tequila tantrum
POST: So last night/this morning I fucked up big style and almost lost two of my close friends and likely pissed off others.
How one bad decision leads to another. I've been ill for a while, haven't been sleeping or eating properly either but decide to drink. Want to drink cocktails , thought given recent drinking times I'd be fine and controlled.
Nope, I ended up a wasted state.
Have been in love with my close friend for years (who I'll just call 'A'), but I am in a relationship with his best friend (have been for years). This is an open secret however and it is also known that A has feelings for another close friend of mine ('B'). I also know A used to have feelings for me. Of recent, A had been a total dick to me repeatedly so I was already feeling wound up. My frustrations were with him being a shity friend but obviously given the situation it is hard not to and can be justified to jump to the conclusion that his shittiness is due to our past.
So this cocktail of bad decisions is then tested by seeing A give B lots of special treatment and fawning. B has no interest in A and I feel like A is being disrespectful to me by his actions. Other close friends bring up with me frequently how A's actions to B are weird and obvious as well as A's actions to me are obvious. Should point out that A being so overt is really unusal and he's not had a girlfriend in all the time I've known him or any romantic entanglements besides that I've mentioned.
So, something in me has snapped and what do I do in my drunken tequila induced state and do not remember? I want to make A hurt how I hurt, so I start slinging really vicious insults about B to A. I said some awful things , words I'd never use otherwise and not even used to describe people I don't actually even like.
A has thrown a drink on me, I attempted to physically retaliate, B has overheard all the horrible shit I have said.
So I stormed out and got a taxi home and proceeded to cry and get in contact with people at 7am to cry some more because I am sick of feeling anything for A.
TL;DR: | Don't fall in love with your boyfriend's best friend and don't drink tequila when you're pissed at someone or you might end up being a horrible bitch to your close friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17F] have been "single" for 8 months now, not sure if ready to pursue someone else?
POST: I'm in a strange situation: So I've had this continuous relationship going on with my ex [19M], even after our breakup. He dumped me about 8 months ago, but since then, we've been friends with benefits and have had a strange array of scattered feelings for each other off and on throughout.
Sometimes it seems like there's hope for us getting back together, and sometimes it doesn't. Well, he's about to leave for vacation for the week, and suddenly there's a new guy I'm kind of interested in that just caught my attention the other day. I think this week while my ex is gone would be the perfect opportunity to try and get to know this new guy - but I'm afraid to?
I don't want to end the friends with benefits relationship I have with my ex, but I know I'd have to if I began seeing someone else. I'm worried that if I get into a new relationship, my ex will either suddenly become super interested in me and try to win me back, or stop talking to me completely. I don't want either, but I can't keep waiting around for him to find someone new and be the one to basically leave me all over again.
TL;DR: | Still romantically seeing my ex boyfriend. Half of me wants to start seeing another guy, but the other half is afraid of things being 100% over with said ex and how he'll react. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26/M] two dates with a [25/F] not sure how to procede.
POST: Met a girl at a bar a few weeks ago, lets call her Ashley. We talked for an hour and kissed before she left. We met briefly for drinks 2 weeks ago after work. Went fine, we made out at the end. Last week we went out again for drinks which went well. We made out a few times, got to second base and talked for 4 hours total. I invited her to cook dinner at my place and watch a movie this Tuesday. She said that sounds fun, asked me what I wanted her to make and wanted to go grocery shopping before.
She sent me a text on Saturday that she was really sorry and this week was too busy and she wouldn't be able to come. I told her don't worry about it and to let me know when she is free. Her response was a short text that she was thinking next Saturday, however she had plans with friends. I responded that maybe we could meet up next weekend with a joke about dinner/grocery shopping.
She did not respond since then. I am thinking either:
A. She talked to friends/family and the dinner/movie was interpreted as sex and she thinks I am just looking to get laid.
B. She's talking to someone else and I was a backup
Should I just wait for her to text me?
TL;DR: | Two dates, went well. Invited her to make dinner at my place for date three. She canceled and didn't respond to my text. Do I wait for her to initiate? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21F] long distance relationship is boring...
POST: So I am in long distance relationship with a girl and we are used to having a long phone calls, couple hours daily if we have time. We had some problems where we almost broke up and we are a bit "shaky" at the moment. But now we are losing the topics to talk about. We talked about everything and I just cant seem to find something interesting to say anymore, we even had a little fight over it. I know it sounds stupid but I think its really my problem. Dont know why, Its like I have a communication problem, I just cant find smethng random and interesting to talk about. We had phone sex and stuff so it isnt that kinda problem at all. Its just that our hanging out gets boring and topicless...
TL;DR: | I want it to be bit more random, fun and interesting, and I want to be the one who will make that happen. Can reddit help me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23F) have severe anxiety about moving out of family home, BF (23M) is giving me ultimatum. What should i do?
POST: Hi, in short ill just say that I have anxiety on a daily basis but recently I have been feeling overwhelmed by the thought of moving out ever since my bf brought it up. He feels ready to move out since we both have both graduated college and have good paying jobs.
I would love to move out but every time i think of leaving home, i think of how my parents will be getting older and they will need me. Also, im very close to my mom so to think of her alone makes me even more anxious. I know that once i move out, i wont be able to come back home so it makes me nervous to move out. My bf says either we move out together or its done. I dont know what to do.
TL;DR: | Has anyone else felt this way? It would be great to hear some advice and/or personal experience on how you overcame this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Just lost my job. No one informed me. Is this right?
POST: I've been working at a restaurant for about 5 months now part time while i'm in school. I just came back from vacation in New York, where I spent all my money. I was supposed to work Monday night but got a text message from a coworker(I wasn't even called by the management for this, I had to find out via coworker gossip) saying that our restaurant had been closed.
Apparently, the owners and management had known for a while that this would happen, but didn't tell anyone so we could start looking for other jobs because they thought telling people would cause theft. So now I'm unemployed, rent is due soon, and I'm completely broke.
Is this right, or even legal to do? If the proprietors knew that the business was closing, shouldn't they be obligated to give us, the employees, a little notice so we can find other jobs? I'm frantically submitting applications everywhere but I seriously doubt I will find anything, and work enough hours to make the money needed to pay my rent this month. I'm just kinda perturbed... >_<
TL;DR: | The owners of the restaurant I work in have known for months that the business was going under, and didn't tell anyone until the day it closed. Now I'm unemployed and broke. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A prime observation.
POST: Walking back from the gym today I was thinking about prime numbers and how there is no identifiable patterns when it comes to their values and sequential order. I started playing around with them by listing them from smallest to greatest and plotting them using their values as the y values and their number in the sequence as their x value (integers 1,2,3...). I found that the graph seemed fairly simplistic then I used a curve fit through some coding and trial and error using a matlab file that I wrote up I found that the curve was never more than +-10 off from the actual value of the prime at that integer. I tried googling this observation but can't seem to find those magical keywords to get my results. Does anyone know if this has been researched? I feel like this is basically a pattern of primes; knowing that if you find the equation to this curve and plug in any integer the value you get will be +-10 units from a prime number. Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | I plotted prime numbers and found the curve it formed rather simplistic. Has any thought been put into this observation by mathematicians? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Potential Online Gambling
POST: Location: Kansas, USA
I work as a web developer for a small firm in Kansas. We recently developed a site for a client which had the following characteristics:
- Fantasy sports gaming site
- Organizations, targeted at but explicitly not limited to non-profits, create an account on the site. They create fantasy sports tournaments, and charge users a "donation" to play in the fantasy sports game
- The entirety of the "donation" does not go to the organization. The majority of it does, but a portion goes to the owners of the site who are a for-profit company.
- Users who sign up and play in these fantasy sports tournaments have the chance to win a prize, which include both items and cash, if their fantasy sports team performs well.
- The game functions like any other fantasy sports league: users sign up, pay a "donation", and choose from a pool of players to create their own fantasy team.
- Apparently, this client has never consulted with a lawyer about this business.
- Apparently, the business I work for also never consulted with a lawyer about this client.
- The servers this is hosted on are shared servers, and in our host's acceptable use policy it says the following: "Conducting any gambling activity in violation of any required licenses, codes of practice, or necessary technical standards required under the laws or regulations of any jurisdiction in which your site is hosted or accessed; or
Any action that is otherwise illegal or solicits conduct that is illegal under laws applicable to you or to us"
I've been thinking all along that this is illegal online gambling, but I've had multiple people tell me it's fine because the money from "donations" is mostly going towards these organizations which are mostly charities and that it exists in a "gray area".
I've been warning other people in our company that we need to protect ourselves because our host could just decide to shut down our whole hosting account if this client gets into legal trouble as we'd be in violation of the AUP. [Fantasy sports games have even been getting some heat from the KS Gaming Commission lately](
So,
TL;DR: | is this online gambling? Does it matter that they choose to call it "donations"? If we're in jeopardy here, what can I tell my boss to convince him that we need to lawyer up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey reddit, do you think this feature would be terribly difficult to implement? [inside]
POST: I would like to see an option that allows you to sort things based on upvotes only. Both stories and comments. I love subreddits that have the ability to downvote disabled and think it would be great to have the option sort things with the downvote information not included.
My reasoning is this... With the huge influx of traffic it has only been natural that more people have begun disregarding reddiquette. Specifically what the purpose of downvoting is for. I feel too many people have begun abusing the downvote and as a consequence some very interesting content and challenging discussion gets buried out of sight simply because the majority doesn't like it. If a group of people find something interesting that the masses of reddit don't find interesting then I would still like to know about it. But sadly I don't have the time to pillage through pages and pages of stories rated at 0 and comments deeply in the negative. I just feel strongly that downvoting had a purpose at one point but now the negative consequences are far outweighing the positive reasons to having downvotes. Its not an "I disagree" button.
TL;DR: | I'd like to be able to sort based entirely on how many people found something interesting, not on the total difference between the # of upvotes and the # of downvotes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How do I not give a fuck?
POST: Simply put, I've liked a girl for a year. She has liked me off and on over this time. The way it goes is I start to like her then she ignores me and talk to other guys. (She knows I hate it). Then after a month she'll start texting me and says she likes me. Rinse and repeat for a year. I personally feel she is manipulating me into giving her attention when she wants it but I am so blinded by her beauty and personality that I don't see it hardly ever. I have heard not talking to a girl and waiting for her to text you is a good way to get them to like you, so I'm going to try that.
TL;DR: | Should I play hard to get and pretend I don't give a fuck? If so, how do I not give a fuck? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Confused on how to overcome the hurt of an abusive relationship.
POST: Hello Reddit. This is my first time posting so I hope I do alright. I'm a 20/F and was with someone for just about 2 years and it was the most horrific two years of my life. I'm not going to go into great detail because that's not the point. There was physical, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse.
Luckily I got out of this relationship six months ago. In that time I have met an amazing man who is phenomenal to me. But there is one problem. Me.
I have been trying to work on recovering from the past experiences and I will say I have come along way. But a lot of my defense mechanics are still geared to being in an abusive situation which isn't any where near the case today. I'm always on defense. I feel like I'm always being attacked. I have done a lot of work to improve my reactions and how to handle anger but I can't seem to overcome the hurt and the fear that I always have to have my guard up. My current boyfriend tries to help me but its hard for him to help cause he doesn't exactly understand and noone can really can but people who have experienced it and over came it, and at the end of the day I can only help myself but need some suggestions. I'm interested in what others respond with, and if anyone has been in this situation who overcame it, what did you do?
TL;DR: | 20/F been out of a 2 year abusive relationship for 6 months. In new relationship, happy, but can't seem to overcome the hurt. Suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my Ex [25F] went out for a year, broke up a few months ago after she cheated. Still wants to be "friends".
POST: The title is self explanatory, I already forgave her and I am trying to move past everything. Still hurts when I talk to her... I want to show her that she messed up and that you can't just expect someone to be friends after you screw up like that. I still have feelings for her, I want to know the best way to cut things off without being a douche. Yes I know she did a terrible thing, but I still want to remain civil with her and not curse her out like most redditors will probably tell me to do.
Another problem is that she only wants to be friends by name. She isn't going to invite me to her gatherings, but just wants to remain friends on facebook and possibly text/call me once a week or two weeks. I kind of feel used and lied to. "I miss you", I get this text and in my head I am thinking she is bullshitting because she doesn't really miss me, she has a problem with letting go of people in her life (abandonment issues, etc). I have my own share of abandonment issues and that's why it is hard for me to let go. I love her, I have loved her since I met her... but I know what is the right thing to do.
TL;DR: | ex GF with abandonment issues can't let go of anyone, even though she cheated on me. Trying to be polite and end things with her without her feeling like shit... because I still care about her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what things have your parents done that have made your childhood incomplete?
POST: When I was about 4-5, I had the uncontrollable urge to go to Disney World. But my parents, having three kids within 4 years of each other, could not afford such vacations. So they just went with a little white lie, somewhere along the lines of "Disney World burned down over night, so we can't go." My brothers and I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. Of course, we had friends that were going and that made us mad because we thought our parents lied to us, but our parents were sneaky. They told us "There's only a couple of rides open, and we would want you guys, if you went, to get the FULL Disney World experience!" I am now 18, just graduated high school, and there is a gaping hole in my soul that can only be filled with Disney World.
TL;DR: | When I was 5, my parents told my brothers and I that Disney World burned down so they wouldn't have to take us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17,M] need to know what I should do with my friend [17, F] do I make a move now or wait? Her friend is telling me to wait...Here's what she said...
POST: We are both close friends and I've been planning on making a move on her, but our mutual friend has been holding me back. She's been texting me saying "Honestly I think if u matured a little bit she might like u."
I asked what proof she had about it and why she thought she might lime me and she said "Cause your a funny and kind guy." and then she told me "Don't make a move with her until she likes u. That's a good idea. Take it extremely delicately."
She told me she'll let me know if the girl likes me and said "U need to be yourself. Not act immature. And don't try super hard to win her. When people try to hard. Girls don't find that attractive"
When I asked her if I even have a chance she said "Just try to keep hope. I'm not saying you have a chance and I'm not saying U don't. I am remaining neutral." I told her theres a good chance she might never like me and she told me "THat might be true. That she might not ever like u"
She said Not to do anything right now, because "Yah well in my opinion it would ruin your chances with rose if u made a move now. Wait a bit. That would be the mature and smart thing to do."
and told me to wait "Yah well in my opinion it would ruin your chances with her if u made a move now. Wait a bit. That would be the mature and smart thing to do."
Do I wait it out? What do I do?
TL;DR: | She's been telling me to wait to make a move, but it doesn't guarentee anything! What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Non- Romantic I [28F], I feel I need to quit my job working for [40s F], [25 M]. Unsure how to approach subject without leaving them high and dry.
POST: I have been working at this neighborhood bar for a little under a year, and for the most part it has been enjoyable. There are a few problems however that are becoming harder and harder to over look.
A little back story on the bar. It has been open for about 5 years in a somewhat questionable area of the city. It's small with a handful of die hard regulars. My co worker is a 25M who has been working there since it opened, and is also related to my boss 40sF. It literally is just the two of us that work there, and we get along great so that's not my issue.
My issues are as follows: I have not been paid on time since December, sometimes going an entire month between pay. We also regularly run out of beer/liquor which in turn hurts our ability to make tips off of those drinks. I thought this was an issue due to a cold, slow winter, but now that its picking up again I've still seen no change in stocking. Winter was terrible, but spring is turning into a nightmare. The area has had multiple drive by shootings in the past few weeks, along with the regular drunk gang banger shenanigans. I'm of the mindset now that its not worth risking a stray fist or bullet to work there.
My dilemma is how do I go about quitting when no one else works there? I like my boss as a person, and I've become really good friends with my not co worker, I don't want to just ditch them (and I'd also like to get my pay). It is to the point now that everytime I have to utter the words "we don't have _____..." To a customer I want to just grab my shit and walk out. I dread a warm night, because they will be out shooting. And every expense that comes up as of lately has been put on the back burner because I've made such little money.
How can I do this without looking like an asshole?
TL;DR: | how can I quit my messed up job without just screwing over my boss and coworker? It's not that long, please read. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 21/m left by 20/f because I'm atheist.
POST: Hello Reddit,
I need some advice or at least some other opinions to help me understand my situation. I was talking to a girl on and off for about a year. We've been exclusively seeing each other a couple of times, but due to geographic constraints it subsided over the summer. Toward the begging of this semester things started to get more and more serious. I could really see myself with her. But because she has commitment issues I never tried to make things official as I didn't want to pressure her and possibly scare her off. About a week ago she broke things off with because I am atheist. She said she couldn't see us together in the future/see things working out because "I don't believe". She also said she couldn't she can't imagine sharing some of her most intimate experiences with an atheist. I was born and raised a catholic and am now atheist for various reasons. She on the other hand has very little to no religious experience. She's known I'm atheist, and I've know she's christian. I tried texting her and talking to her about it, but she's convinced that it's pointless to even try to pursue a relationship because it would fail. She said it's just easier to end it now than later to save herself from the pain. This whole incident was totally unexpected. I also feel like it was incited by one of her friends whom has more ties to the faith than her. I'm not sure but in finding a mate, religion is minuscule to me. I understand people have different beliefs and backgrounds but it doesn't mean you can't love the person in spite of these differences. I don't really know how to take this. The fact that she is not willing to take a chance, makes me as a whole feel worthless. I totally understand she's trying to protect herself from being hurt too. I don't want to bother her too much because she's on break, but at the same time there's a million things I want to say to her to possibly fix this. I care about her and I don't want to give up on her. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Things started getting serious with girl, she left me because I'm atheist. Possibly influenced by her friend. I don't want to give up on her. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it OK if I [20m] break up with my [20f] Long distance girlfriend of 1.5 years over skype?
POST: Here's the situation:
I finally came to terms that I need to end it. So I'm 100% sure in that department. The only problem is she lives 3 hours away, and because of several job interviews and commitments I'm not able to make it over to where she lives until 2 weeks from now. We both know it's coming, we haven't talked in several days.
We've been dating for a long time, but I'm not sure which would be worse in this situation: making us both await the inevitable for two weeks and be miserable or to just do it over skype immediately and get it done?
So that's my question to you guys, how should I handle this situation since I know the breakup is already going to happen.
TL;DR: | Is breaking up over skype okay if I already know we're going to break up, and I wont be able to get home for 2 weeks? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my GF [25 F] of 2 years, having trouble getting my parents to be understanding of marriage.
POST: My GF and I are very loving and have had a great relationship. We ultimately want to get married. We're moving away from our respective families in about a month.
Although we're very agnostic, our families are from different religions (Muslim & Hindu). Her family has been very accommodating towards my parents views and when we get married would love to perform both ceremonies and traditions to respect everyone's beliefs.
My GF and I are happy to do both as we just want to be together and do whatever we can to let everyone enjoy this moment with us.
My parents are pretty strict about exactly what they would like for my GF to do to go through an Islamic wedding ceremony. Although she has agreed to do it all, she asks that they allow us to do the Hindu ceremony as well for her family. I totally agree with her and of course we'll do both. My parents are absolutely against this and promise to abandon me (their son) and of course my GF (their to be daughter-in-law).
What's the right way to go about here? I'm thinking we just do the Islamic bit for my parents and don't tell them about the other part. In that sense, they get what they want and they're happy. We will go on to do the Hindu bit for her family.
My parents are absolutely not willing to see any perspectives here and are extremely stubborn. They are not doing what's best for us but rather what is best for their beliefs.
Any thoughts? What should we do? Should we just not tell my parents what they don't need to know (the Hindu ceremony)? I know this is not a healthy relationship with my parents but I want to try my hardest to keep them a part of our life before we can no longer deal with their unreasonable requests. They are hard-working folks but this is just beyond their depth of understanding and perspective.
I love my girlfriend and will do what it takes for us. I know it sounds silly to "choose" my GF over parents but I would rather go with logic. My parents will likely do this with anyone that comes into my life.
TL;DR: | Parents not accommodating to Hindu wedding ceremony although we are accommodating their Islamic wedding ceremony beliefs. Do we just not tell them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He [25M] and I [22F] haven't talked about being exclusive (~1 month) but I'm feeling unsure about whether to go on a first date with someone else [23M].
POST: I wasn't sure that I was interested in anything serious when I met him [25M] through OkCupid. Things have been going really well, though, and I'm starting to develop feelings for him. We've gone on five dates over four weeks and have slept together twice now. Thing is, we haven't talked about being exclusive or about whether we're seeing other people.
So, in an attempt to avoid putting all of my eggs in one basket, I accepted a coffee invitation from another guy [23M]. I'm supposed to meet him tonight at 6:00.
This morning I woke up and suddenly felt shitty about the whole thing. I don't want to risk ruining things with [25M], but I don't want to be too invested in him either - especially when, for all I know, he could be seeing other people too. Although, for what it's worth, I do not think he's seeing anyone else.
Is it too early to talk to him about this? Would it be better to not mention it at all? Should I cancel the date?
TL;DR: | Been seeing a guy (non-exclusive) for four weeks. Got asked on a first date by someone else, accepted, and am now feeling sort of shitty about it. Unsure of how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How do you deal with someone who's very negative and argumentative?
POST: My mom is really negative and she's very argumentative. She can't admit defeat in any conversation and she cannot acknowledge she is wrong. She has no capacity to listen to any advice and anything which is meant to be advice highlighting something she is not good at, is turned back against the person in a personal attack. Spending time with her is so draining, as I usually get into 3-4 lengthy arguments with her per day, and even when I try not to respond, she takes that as a reason to keep attacking me. I'm not just complaining here, I think it's actually really a problem. My dad tries to talk to her as little as possible to prevent an argument. She always asks why we hate her and once when I tried to explain as politely as I could (I said she sometimes inadvertently comes off as aggressive and negative in her responses, which can be easily misconstrued) she immediately got really mad and said she doesn't do anything wrong and I'm just overly sensitive and a crybaby, since no other person would be bothered by it. She's been like this with me since I was a kid and I think I have low-self esteem because of her, but that's just my guess. I just don't know what to do anymore, as dealing with her just makes me exhausted and I don't want to do it anymore. Is there anything I can do to get along with her? I don't want to permanently have a bad relationship with her. Also, if it sounds like she's a normal mom and I am truly being oversensitive please let me know
TL;DR: | My mom is overly aggressive,negative and argumentative and I am tired of dealing with her personality, is there anyway to get along with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26M] with my wife [27F] of 3 years. Her parents offered us their house and I don't want it.
POST: We've been together for 5 years and married for the last 3. Earlier this year we decided to finally buy a house together. We have similar tastes and we had what we wanted figured out. The location, type of house ect and a few weeks ago we got pre approved and have been looking at houses since. Last week her parents invited us over for dinner and told us they were buying a condo downtown and wanted to give us their house. They're retired and they want to downsize. We were both shocked and the first thing that came to my mind is we could sell the house and get something we actually wanted. Her parents have a nice house but it's not where we wanted to live. It's not the kind of house we want or anything close to it. Then her dad hit us with the stipulation that they would only do this is we lived in it. They didnt want us to get it and just sell it and get something else. My wife told them yes right there before we even talked about it. I told her and her parents we would need to talk about this more before making any decisions.
We talked about it on the way home. She was shocked I wasn't interested in a free house. I reminded her that it's not anything close to what we want. I would rather spend 250k on a house I like than spend the rest of my life in a house I don't like. I reminded her she doesn't even like the house she just likes that it's free which I understand. She told me "I'll come around."
Since we ate with her parents it has been a daily problem. She hasn't changed her mind and I haven't either. The first few days we talked about but now we're arguing about it. Now she is saying that if my parents offered us the same house I would take it. When we were looking for houses and trying to figure out what we wanted she used her parents house as a guide to what she doesn't want. The house is completely renovated and it has reached its full potential. I'm not gonna settle for something I don't want just because it might be free. I'm not sure what we do from here.
TL;DR: | we are in the process of buying a house. Her parents are moving into a condo and offered to give us their house but we can't sell it. It is not what we wanted but she wants it and I don't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update: Girlfriend thinking of dumping me because of my birthday party.
POST: So....I (27M)did what all you basically screamed at me to do and I put my foot down with my family. I called my brother and told him that I wanted the birthday party my girlfriend (28F) planned me, I told him she put a lot of effort into it and that they could go to that one or not go at all. All he said was "k". I begged for my girlfriend to talk to me, and then I told her everything that I've been holding back about my family.
I told her about my insecurities and my issues with neediness and approval seeking. I spilled my heart out to her, something that I've never done with anyone. I have never spoken with anyone about my family, and by the time I was finished, I was a crying mess on my knees. It was pathetic, but she comforted me and cried with me. She said basically everything you guys told me, that I didn't have her back, that she felt like I picked them over her. It broke my heart to hear her cry :( I set up a counseling appointment with my school for next week, and invited my girlfriend to come with me so she could sit in and speak up if she wants to.
I didn't do a big romantic gesture like some of you suggested; I bought her flowers and we met up in the parking lot of a Starbucks, where I spilled my guts to her and cried into her lap while we sat in her car. I have problems, I know that. My family is fucked up...I just want/wanted them to love me and finally accept me, but I see now that their "love" is toxic and meaningless.
Thank you all for your advice. My girlfriend and I are still together, and while she's still hurt at the things I said, she has forgiven me. She did say that she will not stay if I ever bend down to the will of my family again, which I understand.
TL;DR: | we are still together, I stood up to my family. I'm going to counseling next week and girlfriend is joining me. |
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