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int64 0
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7,200 | 7,201 | A Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street. They spied a young boy playing up the street. The Priest said to the Rabbi, "let's go up and fuck that boy". The Rabbi said "out of how much". | [-3.88922095e-02 1.53501824e-01 -1.11651868e-01 4.15134467e-02
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7,201 | 7,202 | So an Irish man walks out of a bar... | [ 5.49494140e-02 3.75043824e-02 -4.02057357e-02 3.77595797e-02
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7,202 | 7,203 | Anybody wanna play Pearl Harbour? I lay down and you blow me to heavens! | [ 4.54967795e-03 -5.15649207e-02 4.49846797e-02 -9.57762823e-02
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7,203 | 7,204 | I like to bring bags of winter clothes into strip clubs and tell them to cover up. Then yell how they're embarrassing the family. | [-4.91843782e-02 7.85287395e-02 -6.21701917e-03 3.98355946e-02
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7,204 | 7,205 | Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem. | [ 7.91369081e-02 1.33741915e-01 -1.77199766e-02 7.44108930e-02
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7,205 | 7,206 | April is alcohol awareness month.....I think we're all aware. Cheers! | [-9.35179356e-04 -3.46224606e-02 3.87072116e-02 1.98275819e-02
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7,206 | 7,207 | What do Russians and gays have in common? They both like bears. | [-1.35460950e-03 1.08042848e-03 -3.37627903e-02 9.38496292e-02
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7,207 | 7,208 | I hate it when I go to bed and forget to turn off my swag. | [ 2.42665019e-02 5.23859300e-02 5.34285745e-03 6.32450283e-02
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7,208 | 7,209 | A man came to my door earlier and asked for a small donation towards the town's new swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water | [ 3.12136225e-02 1.09943949e-01 1.26531497e-02 -2.10303757e-02
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7,209 | 7,210 | My friend can talk about auto-erotic asphyxiation til he's blue in the face. | [ 9.42286197e-03 9.37015843e-03 5.40116802e-03 6.34948388e-02
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7,210 | 7,211 | When I hear someone complain that their towns are boring with nothing to do, all I hear is a boring person who doesn't know how to have fun. | [ 1.41106158e-01 -5.31543717e-02 6.18129186e-02 7.86990374e-02
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7,211 | 7,212 | What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An in"vest"igator :D | [-1.09108672e-01 6.59306198e-02 -4.95936275e-02 4.58568297e-02
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7,212 | 7,213 | I've adjusted my insults to be more pc Instead of calling people gay, I call them straight. | [ 3.78202349e-02 -1.99089590e-02 -3.86063172e-03 2.21429635e-02
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7,213 | 7,214 | What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need 1 nail to hang the picture | [-6.68727458e-02 1.22134425e-01 -4.43507731e-02 -3.86357866e-02
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7,214 | 7,215 | I was doing the dishes and i realized.. If we could cover our Military vehicles in dried egg yolk we would be unstoppable. | [ 1.45473834e-02 2.28258818e-02 6.79513291e-02 -5.02510928e-03
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7,215 | 7,216 | Black people love boom boxes .. I hate to generalize, but it's their stereotype ;-) | [ 6.36096597e-02 2.49158181e-02 8.79282039e-03 1.47796245e-02
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7,216 | 7,217 | I'm going to hire a Priest, a Doctor and a Rabbi to walk into a bar together just to see WTF happens. Backup Plan: I'll also bring a horse. | [-3.50977220e-02 2.76355091e-02 7.54529424e-03 -7.10203371e-04
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7,217 | 7,218 | Why is it called PMS'ing? Mad cow disease was already taken. | [-2.79935673e-02 -5.20909466e-02 4.38218005e-02 1.37226969e-01
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7,218 | 7,219 | What do jehovah's witnesses believe in? That I will open the door | [-3.40188518e-02 6.87517226e-02 8.92278738e-03 5.83910123e-02
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7,219 | 7,220 | Two Jihadis Walked In to a bar They didn't blow it up. | [ 2.72681080e-02 6.50068223e-02 -4.95885871e-02 6.05251417e-02
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7,220 | 7,221 | "I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you threw an Iphone in your blender and screamed 'I WANT APPLE JUICE!' " | [-5.19272499e-02 3.68864648e-02 4.57382388e-02 4.47968431e-02
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7,221 | 7,222 | When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you, wraps a towel around itself and screams oh wait that's my neighbor haha Hi Pam! | [ 1.56043507e-02 -4.44851033e-02 3.36180627e-02 9.27937776e-03
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7,222 | 7,223 | I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims. | [-2.56557427e-02 6.32937998e-02 -3.73287983e-02 4.91247326e-02
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7,223 | 7,224 | What has a 10 foot neck four legs and loves money. A Jewraffe | [ 2.29137857e-02 1.32005051e-01 -5.43783195e-02 -5.05264208e-04
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7,224 | 7,225 | Everybody keeps downvoting my racist jokes It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something. | [-8.25393572e-02 4.26962562e-02 7.32351691e-05 1.96562260e-02
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7,227 | 7,228 | Just to clarify: If original content is about Carlos Mencia, is it a repost? | [-2.80905105e-02 -1.93571858e-02 -7.66096860e-02 3.37304175e-02
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7,228 | 7,229 | *ding* This is your captain speaking. We... Is this what my voice sounds like? Nobody told me! Haha, wow, weird. We're out of fuel. | [ 1.30368201e-02 4.96893842e-03 3.44361365e-02 1.05072344e-02
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7,229 | 7,230 | I recently turned 18 and got an eye test Kind of bummed I didn't get adult super vision | [ 2.86592264e-02 -1.36261657e-02 -4.38144431e-03 6.27899682e-03
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7,230 | 7,231 | Kid says "mommy how come I'm black and your white? Mom says "listen the way I remember that party you're lucky you don't bark" | [-2.71798056e-02 7.16121793e-02 9.09052882e-03 1.07440114e-01
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7,231 | 7,232 | I get suicidal when I play guitar So I don't fret about it Sorry [8] | [ 7.13331718e-03 -1.14954803e-02 1.84549075e-02 -3.55529413e-02
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7,232 | 7,233 | I can't wait until humans move to a new planet and someone says, 'Remember having 24-hour days?' and some jerk responds, 'First world problems.' -Geoffrey Asmus | [ 8.04306101e-03 1.02833835e-02 3.13350260e-02 6.44320771e-02
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7,233 | 7,234 | What do you call a medical student that graduated at the bottom of his class with a 2.0 GPA? A doctor | [ 2.90077436e-03 7.93372691e-02 -5.23045706e-03 -3.41344289e-02
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7,234 | 7,235 | Why doesn't democracy work in china? Because no one wants to hold an erection. | [ 1.95504371e-02 2.71802079e-02 5.80375679e-02 -2.12850720e-02
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7,235 | 7,236 | What's the difference between sex and conversation? You don't know? Well let's go have a discussion... | [ 2.14201603e-02 -3.13120782e-02 1.15781175e-02 1.14168264e-02
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7,236 | 7,237 | Why are vegans so salty? To hide the fact that their food has no flavor. | [-5.56240499e-04 -5.94072454e-02 7.11217448e-02 -8.75000190e-03
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7,237 | 7,238 | Where assholes go to die The cheap toilet paper section. | [ 3.93458530e-02 2.88955066e-02 -2.46831477e-02 4.88546267e-02
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7,238 | 7,239 | Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out? Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life. | [-1.85954031e-02 -2.15194914e-02 2.75149308e-02 -3.60332988e-02
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7,239 | 7,240 | Why did the knight stop fighting after all his limbs had been chopped of? He'd been unarmed and defeated | [ 3.83885168e-02 1.00760393e-01 -1.12622371e-02 3.89783680e-02
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7,240 | 7,241 | Pillow fights didn't last as long in the Stone Age. | [ 3.93155627e-02 1.09927103e-01 2.61893515e-02 1.48689663e-02
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7,241 | 7,242 | What do you call a dog that does magic? A labracadabrador | [ 4.13189409e-03 -1.80246861e-04 2.27391790e-03 -6.32475875e-03
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7,242 | 7,243 | Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his soup? Because one more would have been too farty. | [ 3.41316760e-02 5.22536300e-02 -5.52119687e-02 1.41039751e-02
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7,243 | 7,244 | new book out: "How I Fell Off a Cliff" by Eileen Dover | [ 8.86872876e-03 -4.96173501e-02 4.55208905e-02 -3.54641676e-02
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7,244 | 7,245 | Racist comments... Just like grandma used to make | [-2.82074697e-02 5.62835224e-02 -1.69114415e-02 7.15950727e-02
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7,245 | 7,246 | I've lost all ability to feel... I'm numb.... I'm starting to slip away... I look forward to the empty, meaningless void Now pull the damn tooth, Doctor | [-1.85131468e-02 -8.69915336e-02 6.90123141e-02 1.32550113e-02
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7,246 | 7,247 | Do scooby got a booty? Scooby doo. | [-7.68048316e-02 -3.61715704e-02 -2.24971958e-02 -8.91101640e-03
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7,247 | 7,248 | Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? So he could get a long little doggy! | [-6.49648383e-02 1.94096267e-02 3.30821760e-02 7.02685714e-02
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7,248 | 7,249 | Why are muslim people so kind-hearted? Because they don't live long, especially when they're a bomb | [ 7.17239901e-02 7.48683587e-02 3.08703575e-02 6.73664138e-02
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7,249 | 7,250 | The past, the present, and the future... The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar together. It was tense. | [-1.94966495e-02 8.76932293e-02 -8.83431733e-03 1.27678579e-02
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7,250 | 7,251 | I'm sitting in a booster seat in the back of a minivan because I want to teach my kids right and my 8yo called shotgun fair & square. | [ 6.63173199e-02 2.81888731e-02 -2.04860978e-02 1.57220394e-03
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7,251 | 7,252 | I bought my wife some gloves and a sex toy for her birthday if she doesn't like the gloves she can go f*ck herself | [-6.15155287e-02 7.70143121e-02 6.92763478e-02 -1.62996612e-02
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7,252 | 7,253 | (to kid at lemonade stand) i ain't buying shit until i find you on yelp | [-7.90362805e-02 -2.01459900e-02 2.09950488e-02 -7.24325096e-03
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7,253 | 7,254 | What's black brown and white black brown and white brown and white etc.? A Gorilla riding down a snowbank! | [-5.01078740e-02 3.68738850e-03 -5.70626871e-05 4.63877469e-02
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7,254 | 7,255 | How do you throw a party in space? You planet | [ 9.41857472e-02 -1.09124426e-02 1.86701212e-02 -1.43653015e-02
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7,255 | 7,256 | Do you know a favourite expression used by the Gorillas? Apesy daisy! | [-1.30279601e-01 2.06321571e-02 7.83977956e-02 5.90793081e-02
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7,256 | 7,257 | Q: Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes? A: She couldn't find the recipe. | [-5.96099310e-02 -3.76146771e-02 3.33156697e-02 1.24096982e-01
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7,257 | 7,258 | Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a potato. | [ 6.15763925e-02 2.11287290e-02 -6.82452768e-02 4.33924571e-02
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7,258 | 7,259 | I was talking to my ex and she got the wrong end of the stick. The end that had been sharpened to a fine point. | [-2.34289770e-03 -3.96996662e-02 7.65234753e-02 5.28212376e-02
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7,259 | 7,260 | That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp and kill a cat. | [ 4.71229330e-02 -1.36895347e-02 8.39845166e-02 -1.19343828e-02
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7,260 | 7,261 | So i was talking to my friend who's a dyslexic philosopher And he says to me "You know what, recently i've been wondering if there really is a dog" | [ 1.58445295e-02 -9.18009356e-02 5.28466441e-02 1.07474811e-01
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7,261 | 7,262 | I entered a joke contest and to increase my chances of winning I submit 10 jokes.... Unfortunately I didn't win, no pun in ten did... | [-7.35526718e-03 -6.26094043e-02 1.43647613e-02 -1.57991964e-02
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7,262 | 7,263 | "Great speech! Have you thought about giving it from behind a wooden box for some reason?" - podium salesman | [-3.78255658e-02 1.48803905e-01 2.09737755e-02 -6.31097332e-02
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7,263 | 7,264 | Anal with my girlfriend made my whole day But it made her whole week. | [ 8.09598656e-04 2.73465589e-02 2.71855202e-02 5.11538051e-02
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7,264 | 7,265 | BREAKING: Israel Planning Surgery to Have its Dick Removed From GOP candidates Mouths | [ 6.26843330e-03 1.22930594e-01 1.54333226e-02 -7.27856904e-02
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7,265 | 7,266 | "Hold the door!!!" "What door?" | [ 8.84401239e-03 9.13043022e-02 -2.68962642e-04 1.64237749e-02
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7,266 | 7,267 | It's pretty amazing that I'm able to balance my two kids, my career as a doctor, and my pathological lying!! | [-5.81828915e-02 -1.59246605e-02 2.65643187e-02 5.46282344e-02
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7,267 | 7,268 | Reddit is a really blue community... ...because everyone is really sad about all the "reddit is green" reposts. | [-3.38853858e-02 -6.56040609e-02 4.15473571e-03 2.80730370e-02
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7,268 | 7,269 | Saw this in a Textbook today What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them | [ 1.70192514e-02 8.54728594e-02 3.40367258e-02 1.05740666e-01
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7,269 | 7,270 | Set of jumper cables walks into a bar... The bartender looks them up and down really slow and says, OK, I'll serve you, but don't be starting anything. | [-4.67480384e-02 -1.24782659e-02 2.78674588e-02 -7.70467916e-04
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7,270 | 7,271 | What do you call it... when an old man cums all over you? Viagra Falls My wife just made up this joke and wondered if she actually made it up or if she is just not remembering where she heard it. | [-4.88638207e-02 -7.75270537e-02 -3.10786348e-02 7.44502246e-02
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7,271 | 7,272 | Autocorrect has been around for centuries, I got mine when I married my wife. | [-8.73804539e-02 7.45386677e-03 -1.31294122e-02 3.87943052e-02
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7,272 | 7,273 | How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool? Say, " Everyone out of the pool please." | [ 3.3449586e-02 9.0314299e-02 4.7955766e-02 -2.9103741e-02
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7,273 | 7,274 | If I knew you in high school and your Facebook profile picture is a baby I'll assume you're Benjamin Button and unfriend you. | [-5.05714454e-02 5.03045414e-03 2.13518012e-02 -6.36595534e-03
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7,274 | 7,275 | You remember those yardsticks? They don't make them any longer. | [ 2.36376282e-03 -5.20473011e-02 -3.70627008e-02 4.30524871e-02
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7,275 | 7,276 | I decided to sell my Hoover... Well, it was just collecting dust. | [-1.67909302e-02 1.49145434e-02 6.59926683e-02 1.14764879e-02
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7,276 | 7,277 | What do u call a gay dinosaur? A mega-sore-ass | [-5.56719303e-02 2.48036571e-02 -8.17228109e-03 4.45758440e-02
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7,277 | 7,278 | Why is suicide illegal? Because no one wants to clean up your mess. | [ 4.04405147e-02 3.95457111e-02 2.74180770e-02 -7.91098028e-02
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7,278 | 7,279 | Is the bakery hiring? Cause I think I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by. | [ 4.44717240e-03 -5.11417389e-02 5.79125062e-02 4.82595786e-02
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7,279 | 7,280 | Still suddenly panicking that you haven't done your homework on Sunday evenings, despite being in your thirties | [ 5.00085764e-02 2.04759068e-03 7.88124800e-02 2.14124992e-02
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7,280 | 7,281 | Why Did Donald Trump Get Fired When He Was a Carpenter? He wouldn't take down any walls. | [ 5.67002706e-02 1.00108840e-01 8.14751163e-02 7.93357380e-03
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7,281 | 7,282 | Fuck. We're gonna be known as the generation that loved autocorrect fails | [-3.40630040e-02 -2.88935043e-02 -4.92701819e-03 1.55129237e-02
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7,282 | 7,283 | Word. ~ Microsoft. | [-1.99935362e-02 -1.77737363e-02 -2.68560592e-02 1.40917916e-02
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7,283 | 7,284 | My dyslexic friend sobbed uncontrollably as he confessed that he kept spelling his own name backwards I really do feel for Bob. | [-4.04253155e-02 -3.18738036e-02 -2.11001560e-03 -3.65224518e-02
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7,284 | 7,285 | (Very) dirty joke time: How does a mother in West Virginia know when her daughter is on her period? Her son's dick tastes like blood. | [-2.50073392e-02 -4.32897620e-02 -1.65318549e-02 3.01602911e-02
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7,285 | 7,286 | I blame our unhappy marriage on my wife mostly because of her poor choice in men. | [ 2.57980730e-02 -2.44291197e-03 4.58013825e-02 1.17471702e-01
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7,286 | 7,287 | What do you call a lazy fan of the old Price is Right? a Barker Lounger ! | [ 7.15783015e-02 4.42769639e-02 -2.85407510e-02 1.99786648e-02
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7,287 | 7,288 | Kim Kardashian just had a miscarriage... Her next show is going to be called 'Mopping Up After A Kardashian' | [-7.19124079e-02 -8.14928487e-02 7.06633702e-02 2.48306133e-02
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7,288 | 7,289 | What do Australians use for sun burns? Aloe, mate. I'm sorry | [ 1.53117869e-02 5.84445968e-02 5.03832065e-02 4.37126532e-02
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7,289 | 7,290 | What did the elephant say to the man? How do you breathe through something so small? | [ 3.99460478e-05 1.48393929e-01 5.90161234e-02 6.86369911e-02
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7,290 | 7,291 | When should I borrow the Fatboy Slim joke from the library? Right about now, funk soul brother. Check it out now, funk soul brother. | [-8.16550776e-02 -5.29725989e-03 -3.07450164e-02 2.11245138e-02
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7,291 | 7,292 | A walk of shame is always sad. Don't make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it. | [-4.05051978e-03 -2.02227458e-02 7.80475363e-02 -6.47142949e-03
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7,292 | 7,293 | I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out "swag" or "bae" on the Ouija boards | [-5.14824316e-02 3.21403295e-02 -3.05911060e-02 -5.89229129e-02
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7,293 | 7,294 | The Native Americans used to trust the white man, now they have their reservations. | [ 7.60293826e-02 2.87473071e-02 -1.67494058e-03 7.62600601e-02
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7,294 | 7,295 | No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze. | [ 1.47533165e-02 -2.63995882e-02 -1.66655295e-02 7.43046403e-02
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7,295 | 7,296 | What do lesbians in Alaska sing? What would you do ew ew in a Klondike bar. | [ 1.31180622e-02 4.60457839e-02 3.55957001e-02 3.69715951e-02
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7,296 | 7,297 | I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them. | [-8.62813592e-02 -2.44331383e-03 8.18285439e-03 -2.26009469e-02
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7,297 | 7,298 | Me: There is a small tree on fire. 911: Could you describe it? Me:Picture shrubbery...now picture it engulfed in flames. | [ 1.51449218e-02 9.29991081e-02 5.84942177e-02 6.93741664e-02
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7,298 | 7,299 | Johnson, Clinton, and Trump are lost at sea. Who wins the election? America. | [ 2.07399484e-02 -5.10523021e-02 4.48901914e-02 -1.87278632e-02
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7,299 | 7,300 | How come Django's wife never hears Django coming? The D is silent. | [ 3.21459733e-02 -7.84861073e-02 9.82931480e-02 -3.41436220e-03
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9.72472969e-03 3.16230133e-02 7.01877708e-03 1.03650391e-02] |
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