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4,700 | 4,701 | After several drinks last night, I had a great Buzz. Unfortunately I was no longer able to get a Woody. | [ 7.23880529e-02 -7.00143576e-02 8.63407999e-02 4.31324393e-02
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4,701 | 4,702 | Africa and Asia are playing baseball Asia strikes out Africa, Europe | [ 1.64975524e-02 1.40898243e-01 -6.86149299e-02 -1.46702453e-02
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4,702 | 4,703 | I hate people who steal the punchline. I'm keeping mine a secret. | [-9.57234502e-02 6.31286129e-02 3.18376645e-02 4.25622724e-02
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4,703 | 4,704 | Genderfluid? I just call that semen | [ 1.02308169e-02 -5.83579428e-02 -2.92135216e-02 3.62720415e-02
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4,704 | 4,705 | Meet the parents | [-1.98554695e-02 4.75198515e-02 2.20660847e-02 1.67632122e-02
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4,705 | 4,706 | Hey, NSA,,,, if you're going to read my posts, would it kill you to like them? | [-4.44396818e-03 -8.28084797e-02 1.18438452e-02 -1.32340593e-02
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4,706 | 4,707 | I will marry a woman if she knows homer is Not a Simpson and Plato is Not clay | [-5.15148789e-02 1.71335116e-02 4.89378870e-02 -6.79299533e-02
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4,707 | 4,708 | My vacuum cleaner is so good it collects dust even when I don't use it. | [-7.30653387e-03 4.55900282e-03 1.11428037e-01 -2.64555085e-02
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4,708 | 4,709 | Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? He: My name is paul. | [-5.10685779e-02 6.42866567e-02 1.36709977e-02 3.73686962e-02
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4,709 | 4,710 | It was time to show my girlfriend how i really feel.. so i showed her my hands.. | [-2.89292485e-02 -3.58881894e-03 1.04950540e-01 -2.20160894e-02
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4,710 | 4,711 | Investment question If a leopard and a cheetah both had companies, which stock should you buy? A: The leopard's, because cheetahs never prosper. | [ 4.56995033e-02 4.28318381e-02 5.37185406e-04 -2.03876216e-02
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4,711 | 4,712 | Today, a midget insulted me, so I had no choice but to punch him in the face... I never thought I'd stoop so low | [ 3.94460857e-02 1.54119581e-01 2.89110132e-02 7.81919528e-03
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4,712 | 4,713 | [strong] Zoroark, male, 50 Sebas | [-1.00490563e-01 3.84593681e-02 -4.97199707e-02 3.76744233e-02
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4,713 | 4,714 | Been throwing up gang signs all morning. Must've eaten some expired gang signs | [ 3.68187092e-02 4.15745890e-03 4.52896096e-02 4.89040539e-02
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4,714 | 4,715 | One time I told my blind Nana to go on a seafood diet... She died a week later. | [-3.40385959e-02 1.31864529e-02 5.53287901e-02 9.01100785e-02
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4,715 | 4,716 | Thought of this the other day as a 22 y/o... How do you win the vegetable race? You need to get ahead of lettuce | [ 4.49175313e-02 -6.85101002e-03 8.57704226e-03 2.98534352e-02
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4,716 | 4,717 | What's the best thing about being the 'third-wheel' for your friends in relationships? Nothing. It always fucking sucks. | [-2.38369834e-02 -1.47651248e-02 6.02831971e-03 -3.41361910e-02
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4,717 | 4,718 | What do you call a productive Asian? China get something done. | [-3.78326258e-05 6.20120950e-02 9.72037297e-03 2.85882726e-02
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4,718 | 4,719 | What do you call making your booty clap for likes and upvotes? Social netwerking | [-9.75280404e-02 -8.20347369e-02 -9.60482378e-03 1.72060374e-02
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4,719 | 4,720 | Hubs proposed to me with a really cool flash mob and a medley of Nirvana hits. JK. He was like, "I wanna marry you." And I was like, "K." | [-5.35206161e-02 5.18105291e-02 5.54689504e-02 4.60463911e-02
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4,720 | 4,721 | Friend: Will we be hearing the patter of tiny feet soon? Me: *grabbing her arm too hard* You know about my squirell army | [-7.86636546e-02 2.07844563e-02 1.10728718e-01 9.48242843e-03
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4,721 | 4,722 | Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn't have known it's summer. | [-1.36034004e-02 -2.48683081e-03 6.17948808e-02 4.81804125e-02
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4,722 | 4,723 | I'm teaching my dog to jump through burning hoops. This is my 12th dog. | [ 5.61760627e-02 -1.01980371e-02 1.65631622e-02 2.77754897e-03
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4,723 | 4,724 | There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom. | [-2.50796583e-02 1.40761742e-02 4.12433110e-02 -2.57060174e-02
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4,724 | 4,725 | "I love the north pole and hate the south pole!, wait I love the south pole and hate the north pole!" ~ a bi-polar bear | [ 4.22260258e-04 8.87528807e-02 7.47401416e-02 6.13869540e-02
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4,725 | 4,726 | Timmy walks in on his mother getting dressed... Now you're thinking of the time you saw your mothers breasts. | [-2.04968713e-02 5.33786230e-02 -1.01861255e-02 2.02749483e-02
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4,726 | 4,727 | When Gregor Mendel did his groundbreaking experiments with pea plants, ... ...it was a classic case of publish or parish. | [-1.29282987e-02 6.41288012e-02 2.55587022e-03 -3.48180602e-03
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4,727 | 4,728 | *Pearly Gates St. Peter: No way! Me as angel: It's the rules! SP: But the drugs and sweari- M: ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN! Snoop: Fo' Shizzle. | [ 1.93822607e-02 9.46872681e-03 -1.95090864e-02 -3.76287512e-02
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4,728 | 4,729 | Why the new Apple Pencil isn't included with the new iPad Pro. There is no point. | [-4.25446220e-02 -9.36514661e-02 6.89680204e-02 -6.03185743e-02
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4,729 | 4,730 | Happier than a witch in a broom shop. | [ 7.84044787e-02 6.48774952e-02 -5.34963124e-02 -7.26824952e-03
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4,730 | 4,731 | I asked my best friend if he was gay or not. I never got a straight answer. | [ 5.37226871e-02 8.24595541e-02 -1.78666264e-02 1.32139586e-02
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4,731 | 4,732 | A man fell into a river. Why did he refuse help? He was in The Nile | [ 4.76490846e-03 1.38663769e-01 1.34395910e-02 6.19916394e-02
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4,732 | 4,733 | Q: Why did the Davidians commit suicide? A: They were trying to keep up with the Joneses. | [ 3.57659273e-02 1.46766365e-01 -1.59652682e-03 4.03819345e-02
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4,733 | 4,734 | God likes Saturn more than he likes earth Because if he had liked it, he would of put a ring on it. | [ 4.50182371e-02 3.59896012e-02 6.83666989e-02 -1.37595749e-02
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4,734 | 4,735 | What is a buttress? A female goat. | [ 3.89582738e-02 1.68828946e-02 -1.29890377e-02 4.77494672e-02
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4,735 | 4,736 | How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black? Have you ever tried to take a rib from a nigger? | [ 2.20971815e-02 8.87201503e-02 -2.32794266e-02 6.68497607e-02
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4,736 | 4,737 | Did you hear about the man whose vape device exploded while he was smoking it? It was a mind-blowing experience. | [-3.35188722e-03 6.09779432e-02 4.59275916e-02 -1.23372786e-02
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4,737 | 4,738 | How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? Phone her. | [-1.09551751e-04 1.17902169e-02 2.23388132e-02 -6.88039884e-02
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4,738 | 4,739 | I've decided to start a new line of 'extra-shatter' measuring sticks. Because rulers were made to be broken. | [-4.29508500e-02 -2.97455974e-02 2.26402786e-02 6.71380293e-03
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4,739 | 4,740 | Why is there a fence around the graveyard? Because people are dying to get in! | [ 8.32140371e-02 9.44153890e-02 -7.13426769e-02 -1.76613741e-02
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4,740 | 4,741 | It's like "society" expects you to wear "different clothes" every day. | [-1.48671567e-02 8.29320401e-02 1.27797686e-02 4.75726761e-02
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4,741 | 4,742 | What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once? A trifle! | [-1.31305354e-02 -3.75602804e-02 -1.25141963e-01 -5.06843999e-02
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4,742 | 4,743 | Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest? They're always eager for more on their pate. | [ 6.07572272e-02 5.07964473e-03 1.04414985e-01 7.25622624e-02
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4,743 | 4,744 | Why did Mickey get hit but Donald didn't Because Donald Duck. | [ 8.34362134e-02 4.77810465e-02 4.78362441e-02 9.04183835e-03
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4,744 | 4,745 | How do you know if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick would taste like blood | [ 1.21261152e-02 -4.30448800e-02 -8.18706006e-02 -1.42634278e-02
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4,745 | 4,746 | I wish I could smack the stupid out of people and if you think this status is about you smack yourself for me! | [ 1.99906304e-02 2.34265048e-02 7.86026940e-02 -1.53123187e-02
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4,746 | 4,747 | Why isn't Mexico in the Summer Olympics? Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here. | [ 7.41865635e-02 6.30126968e-02 7.60156289e-02 3.70964743e-02
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4,747 | 4,748 | You're only as good as your last tweet. | [ 1.11057898e-02 -3.23613659e-02 4.28016968e-02 -3.93157043e-02
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4,748 | 4,749 | A Russian goes for an eye check up The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY Doctor: Can you read this ? Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin. | [-2.72050388e-02 1.27277318e-02 -7.74827972e-02 9.82331578e-03
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4,749 | 4,750 | Just a friendly reminder that the world supposedly ends in 73 days. | [-2.26210281e-02 8.18049237e-02 3.76476124e-02 1.99986119e-02
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4,750 | 4,751 | Recently, a Catholic hair stylist made news traveling around slandering the pope and Catholicism, angering many members of the faith. The pope denounced him... calling him a "hair-a-tick" | [ 2.09252303e-03 5.56560643e-02 -4.98930644e-03 6.38215840e-02
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4,751 | 4,752 | If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I'd have 27 dollars and 15 cents. | [-7.62795880e-02 6.63372874e-02 -6.68759644e-02 -4.78859469e-02
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4,752 | 4,753 | Knock Knock Who's there ? Cliff ! Cliff who ? Cliff hanger ! | [-5.60087413e-02 2.92538647e-02 -1.34514980e-02 -3.66324149e-02
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4,753 | 4,754 | Little Timmy lived in Flint But little Timmy is no more For what he thought was H2O Was PbSO4 | [ 1.28367404e-02 5.75328022e-02 -1.23269008e-02 -1.74571965e-02
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4,754 | 4,755 | Ha! Major typo on page 28 of the new iTunes agreement. Anyone else catch that? | [-6.69100462e-03 3.08322674e-03 8.74624550e-02 -2.27961615e-02
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4,755 | 4,756 | Do not judge a book by its cover, unless there's a Swastika on the cover | [ 2.11939774e-02 7.89470077e-02 -6.97855055e-02 5.32475375e-02
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4,756 | 4,757 | I'm bad at misleading people Not | [-3.23296823e-02 2.20025852e-02 6.92898110e-02 2.91781016e-02
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4,757 | 4,758 | What do you call a man, with no arms or legs, in the middle of the ocean? fucked | [-7.36243790e-04 9.38892588e-02 -1.73178967e-02 1.24974418e-02
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4,758 | 4,759 | What happened to the cross-eyed circumcist? She got the sack | [-5.41068800e-03 7.79829361e-03 -9.01058596e-03 8.20688233e-02
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4,760 | 4,761 | Give a fish a worm, he lives another day Teach a fish to worm, he becomes the best breakdancing fish around | [-7.53988847e-02 2.16825064e-02 1.67005770e-02 -1.11368485e-02
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4,761 | 4,762 | What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message. | [-3.08664050e-02 1.55222614e-03 9.53299999e-02 4.26958278e-02
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4,762 | 4,763 | What did the man without a voice box say? | [-3.94653082e-02 1.19810954e-01 -5.07606752e-02 2.44027767e-02
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4,763 | 4,764 | Sharp and short! **Husband** : I love you! **Wife** : Not today! | [-1.44468332e-02 8.26514289e-02 1.22678526e-01 3.03863157e-02
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4,764 | 4,765 | My girlfriend broke up with me. When she did, I gave her a note that said "Great Job!" I wanted things to end on a positive note. | [-1.12730950e-01 7.72203654e-02 6.67787492e-02 -5.42977173e-03
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4,765 | 4,766 | I must admit, my "Kiss Me, I Have The Zika Virus" T-shirt is giving me a lot of personal space inside this subway car. | [-4.82819639e-02 7.72277862e-02 7.65681490e-02 3.21353599e-02
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4,766 | 4,767 | You've seen those mobile trucks for grooming pets, I just saw a mobile barbershop truck for humans and thought... I wonder if a dog drives that? | [ 7.63105415e-03 -4.32917550e-02 4.24884148e-02 4.99499962e-02
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4,768 | 4,769 | Read more Apple jokes | [ 4.07119244e-02 -6.60379082e-02 6.82897642e-02 4.56001759e-02
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4,771 | 4,772 | What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette? Tobaccio | [-4.53636013e-02 7.29402229e-02 -4.85090278e-02 4.02767360e-02
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4,772 | 4,773 | Woke up and saw my shadow and it looked fat. Six more weeks of self-loathing. | [-7.96260405e-03 5.32914586e-02 6.39486834e-02 1.31166905e-01
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4,774 | 4,775 | What do you call when a female physicist decides to try dating women for a change? The double slit experiment. | [-2.24797949e-02 -3.97151262e-02 2.76905168e-02 1.33894086e-01
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4,776 | 4,777 | 50 Cent used to be 1 Dollar... But now he's only half the man he was. | [ 5.92351928e-02 4.63810749e-02 1.28459167e-02 -4.91277548e-04
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4,777 | 4,778 | [my wife and I watch a drunk white girl fall out of a cab] I've never drank that much.... [wife looks at me in disgust] ugh, ok I have. | [ 5.03665581e-02 5.90697303e-02 5.68497404e-02 5.87029420e-02
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4,778 | 4,779 | what did socrates learn from the T-rex? i dino | [-6.89169094e-02 9.24542323e-02 -1.62110608e-02 -9.18809883e-03
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4,779 | 4,780 | There is an American Olympic diver named "Steele Johnson". He could have a great job in adult films with that name... | [-9.78619605e-02 4.62739952e-02 -2.68047545e-02 3.76562662e-02
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4,780 | 4,781 | Have you heard the one about the ceiling fan? Oh, it's over your head. | [ 3.69323865e-02 2.21545734e-02 3.74652296e-02 -8.86958744e-03
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4,781 | 4,782 | I bought a Christmas tree today. The guy asked me if I was going to put it up myself.I said, "No, I'll probably put it in the living room." | [ 2.80837808e-02 1.00432262e-01 -4.75822855e-03 5.30399270e-02
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4,784 | 4,785 | Past, present and future walk into a bar... it was tense | [-1.28599359e-02 3.90814319e-02 1.41163087e-02 -1.08234723e-04
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4,785 | 4,786 | Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ? Your teeth ! | [-3.66690829e-02 6.17479868e-02 -3.08130160e-02 -1.89045686e-02
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4,786 | 4,787 | Where did the Martian put his teacup? On his flying saucer. | [ 5.68654723e-02 4.32362854e-02 -2.72393059e-02 2.22876798e-02
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4,787 | 4,788 | What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine? "Sir" from a distance. | [-4.11683396e-02 -6.21945523e-02 -3.80599573e-02 -5.82652129e-02
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4,788 | 4,789 | What do you tell a smelly Japanese person? Takashawa. | [-2.10296158e-02 2.99087353e-02 1.04659116e-02 9.28677171e-02
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4,791 | 4,792 | An environmentalist group found a place with the world's highest recycling rate... /r/Jokes | [-3.97260152e-02 -3.58842351e-02 -2.66755540e-02 4.36429791e-02
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4,792 | 4,793 | Mall Santa: what do you want for Christmas? Me: drugs. Mall Santa *whispers* meet me in the food court in 20 minutes. | [ 3.10096405e-02 1.16655238e-01 6.83589978e-03 -9.75260278e-04
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4,793 | 4,794 | There are 2 things in this world that i hate. 1. racism 2. black people | [ 3.16889491e-03 3.03320177e-02 3.82762291e-02 5.15077934e-02
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4,794 | 4,795 | KING SOLOMON: I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure ME: OH GOD NO! KING SOLOMON: ok this is clearly your meatball sub. | [-7.91251473e-03 1.21536367e-01 -4.07597727e-05 1.03643602e-02
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4,795 | 4,796 | A Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street... when they passed a little boy. The priest leans toward the rabbi and says, "Lets's fuck him!" The rabbi asks, "Out of what?" | [-3.05345058e-02 1.14844270e-01 -1.31607905e-01 4.52495739e-02
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4,796 | 4,797 | ok honey, you're going to love this movie. all you need to know is that "robocop" is short for "robot cop" | [-4.62696403e-02 -3.52526009e-02 -1.00854961e-02 -1.74390320e-02
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4,797 | 4,798 | I guess if your a meth head You've only got one sleep until Christmas | [ 4.46222685e-02 -5.44661423e-03 7.95590226e-04 7.99921341e-03
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4,798 | 4,799 | What's the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds? Brexit | [-1.96133769e-05 9.71927866e-02 5.99468760e-02 5.56020774e-02
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4,799 | 4,800 | Guy says, "damn, there should be a law against having sex this good!" The girl said nothing, for the drugs had left her unconscious. | [-7.68864900e-02 1.16488777e-01 -4.21147533e-02 8.55020061e-02
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