Datasets:
yregelman
/
seinfeld-dialogue

Dataset card Data Studio Files
xet
Community
1
Title
stringclasses
174 values
Setting
stringlengths
5
381
⌀
Dialogue
stringlengths
1
1.92k
Speaking Character
stringlengths
1
3.78k
Addressed Character
stringlengths
1
68
⌀
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Oh, me too. My cousin had to go back to Boston.
Vanessa
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Oh, that guy was your *cousin*!
Jerry
Vanessa
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Yeah, and that woman was your--
Vanessa
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Friend!
Jerry
Vanessa
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
I'll just, uh, get a paper...
George
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
So, um, do you date immature men?
Jerry
George
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Almost exclusively...
Vanessa
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Bum bum bum bum... I have no letters... Bum bum bum bum...
Helen
Vanessa
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Ma, will you go already?
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Bum bum bum bum...
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
What are you doing?!
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Wait, I just want to see something...
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
You can't look in there, we're playing!
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Evening, Mr. Kramer!
Morty
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Hey Morty! (To Jerry) Salad dressing?
Kramer
Morty
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Look.
Jerry
Kramer
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
"Quo"? Is that a word?
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Maybe!
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Will you challenge it?
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Ma, you can't look up words in the dictionary! Dad, she's cheating!
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
"Quo"? That's not a word.
Kramer
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
(To Jerry) You're such a stickler...
Helen
Kramer
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Well put *something* down, you're taking twenty minutes on this.
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
So is Uncle Mac, and Artie, they're all coming over here before the
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
wedding?
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
They'll be here at two o'clock... Oh, Elaine called. She said
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
30. Oh, and she says ``Hope your meeting went
She'd Be Here At 2
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
well with Art... "Vandelay"?''
She'd Be Here At 2
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
She said *what*?
Jerry
She'd Be Here At 2
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Just what I said, here.
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
She knows! Oh, I am *such* a *jackass*...
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
She knows what?
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
She knows the whole stupid thing... Vanessa and the elevator...
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
No, no, no, that won't do. He may have a "Z"...
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
So, how did she find out?
Morty
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Because, Vanessa probably told Pamela, and Pamela probably told
Jerry
Morty
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Elaine.
Jerry
Morty
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
So, what are you? Afraid of her?
Morty
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Yes. *Yes* *I* *am*!
Jerry
Morty
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
What else did she say on the phone?
Jerry
Morty
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Whatever I wrote down.
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Yeah, but what was the tone in her voice? How did she sound?
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Who am I, Rich Little?
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Well, she can't be too mad-- she's still coming to the wedding.
Morty
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Yeah, but now I'm nervous.
Jerry
Morty
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Oh, stop it.
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
"Quone"?
Jerry
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
"Quone"? No, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to challenge that.
Jerry
...30...31...
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
No, you don't have to challenge that. That's a word. That's a
Kramer
...32...
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
*definite* word.
Kramer
...32...
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
I am challenging...
Jerry
Kramer
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Quone: to quone something.
Kramer
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Uh-huh...
Jerry
Kramer
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
I'm not playing with you anymore...
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Quone's not a word...
Morty
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
No good. Sorry. There it is. Get it off...
Jerry
Morty
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Why did you make me put that down?
Helen
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Nah, we need a *medical* dictionary! If a patient gets difficult,
Kramer
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
you *quone* him...
Kramer
Helen
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
You want some funny material, you oughta come down to where I work,
Carol
Kramer
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
now that's a sitcom!
Carol
Kramer
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
You must have quite a time down there. (Checks his watch)
Jerry
Carol
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
We got plenty of time...
Carol
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just waiting for someone...
Jerry
Carol
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Watch what you say to this guy-- he'll put it in his next act!
Mac
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Yeah, yeah...
Jerry
Mac
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Jerry, did I tell you that I'm writing a book? An autobiography.
Mac
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Yeah, Uncle Mac, you mentioned it...
Jerry
Mac
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
It's based on all my experiences!
Mac
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
That's perfect. (Elaine enters) Could you excuse me one second.
Jerry
Mac
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
I'm sorry.
Jerry
Mac
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
How do you do, Jerry Seinfeld.
Jerry
Mac
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Oh, how do you do. Elaine Benes.
Elaine
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Um, do you want to do this now, or do you want to wait until we get
Jerry
Elaine
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
in the car?
Jerry
Elaine
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Oh no, let's do it now.
Elaine
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Alright, the whole elevator business, let me just explain--
Jerry
Elaine
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Okay...
Elaine
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Jerry, were you goin' with us?
Artie
Elaine
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
No, I'm gonna take my car.
Jerry
Artie
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
That's why I brought the wagon. Why the Hell did I bring the wagon?
Artie
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Anyway, you know why I didn't ask you, I mean I felt so
Jerry
Artie
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
uncomfortable, and you were *so* annoyed in the cab.
Jerry
Artie
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Well, Jerry, I never saw you flirt with anyone before. It was
Elaine
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
quite the spectacle.
Elaine
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Jerry, we'll see you there. Bye, Elaine.
Carol
Elaine
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Oh, bye. Good to see you.
Elaine
Carol
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Oh, we didn't meet.
Artie
Elaine
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Oh, I'm sorry. Elaine, this is my cousin Artie Levine.
Jerry
Artie
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Le*vine*.
Artie
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Yeah, "Le*vine*". And I'm Jerry Cougar Mellencamp... Anyway, I
Jerry
Artie
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
admit it was a fairly ridiculous thing to do, but I mean, I mean,
Jerry
Artie
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
obviously we have a little problem here.
Jerry
Artie
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Yeah, obviously.
Elaine
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
I mean, if we're gonna be friends, we gotta be able to talk about
Jerry
Elaine
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
other people...
Jerry
Elaine
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Couldn't agree more.
Elaine
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Good.
Jerry
Elaine
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Good.
Elaine
Jerry
THE STAKEOUT
(End stand-up)
Good.
Jerry
Elaine