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First time post so be nice please! And obligatory on mobile. So my(16f) mother(44f) has never been ideal with finances or keeping living spaces. This has happened throughout all my childhood but the financial aspect was worsened when she married her husband 5 years ago(29m). He's a generally unsocialable unpleasant man and has issues keeping jobs. He got into drywall about 4 years ago and has maintained that line of work but is constantly burning bridges and his work isn't very consistent. My mother either works with him or watches my 3 year old brother because his former babysitter has fallen ill recently. Recently he hasn't been getting much work and only went back to work last week. Basically they drain money. Their money goes to paying his brother for working for them, gas, groceries, and God knows what else it just doesn't stay in their account. We were formerly living in a hotel which was expensive so I was more lenient but we are now living rent free at my grandparents house. I've been working about a year, and make between 400-500 a paycheck though I was laid off once lockdown hit but went back in May. Last month my mother and her husband borrowed 400(from my savings) to renew the title and registration to their car. Since then they've continued to borrow bits of money probably its up to about 500 now. The thing that has made me irritated and question is they were supposed to get some money today because her husband sold some stock but still had me buy meat for dinner instead of him. I'm now considering telling her I won't lend her anymore money unless it concerns my brother or gas. It may be important to note she owes my older brother(25m) 2 grand. I don't want to be ungrateful or put them in a bad spot but I want to go to college in a year and they can't afford to pay for it. I honestly need the money for my future. Sorry everyone there's probably more detail than necessary I just want to be thorough! So WIBTA? ###### | NTA - just because they are family doesn't mean that you need to let them use you as a bank. That's not a healthy dynamic. You have goals that you are saving for and you need to keep working towards that. If you let this continue then you will grow to resent them. Its hard to cut off family but you need to do it financially for yourself. If they have access to your bank account then you should open a new bank account and put all of your money into there so they don't have a way to access your money. Emphasis on YOUR money ###### |
So the background to this is that I'm pretty sure I have IBS-mixed type, basically I swing from constipated to diarrhea frequently. Nothing is normal, everything hurts and sometimes the urge to go comes on suddenly and painfully. I am in the middle of getting tests started but it's slow going due to covid.
My husband's generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally. The other day, however, was a real surprise. We were on our way to visit at a park with guests, which we can do where we are. Before we entered the park, I received the signal to go, abruptly and painfully, and asked if we could detour slightly to a gas station.
He flipped his lid, yelled that I needed to get my s*** together, pun intended, and then ignored me until we were face to face with our friends. Then he proceeded to give me crap for being on the phone and dangled chocolate at me before snatching it back and saying "you're not hungry, are you?"
I ended up excusing myself, leaving the park on foot and walking about 0.8 km to the bathroom and back. When I got back, our guests were in the middle of leaving. I apologized for leaving and was assured it was totally understandable. After they left, we had a fight. He says I'm TA for being a problem all the time and that I was rude to leave, and I say he's TA for not stopping when it was urgent and that nobody should have to apologize for having to emergency poop. This is the first time he's really been an ass about this in 4 years, but it really stuck with me.
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA - jesus christ, you needed the bathroom. It was a small detour. It's really not cool that he was happy to let you sit in pain (and probably with an embarrassed unease around your friends) just so he could get to the park 10 minutes faster.
Your husband was being an ass, and FTR if he's "generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally", that's not being supportive. ###### |
Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.
I was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ###### | NTA - Its not your responsibility. Your grandparents and aunt are tho for expecting you to babysit your cousin ###### |
I’ve got a gaming PC that I’ve built and upgraded over the years, currently (i7 7700k, 1080ti, 16 gigs of ram)
Ever since I graduated I’ve been traveling a lot for work so it doesn’t see as much action as it used to
A cousin of mine ( met them maybe once or twice so far) needs a computer for school and it was suggested he take mine since it’s rarely being used, I flat out refused because
1. I do use it game when I have the time and I’m back home
2. I’m a bit possessive about it.
3. I know that they can’t pay me back if they damage it
I’ve been called selfish and inconsiderate so let’s hear it AITA ###### | NTA - It’s yours. You don’t have to give up anything especially now a Pc you built yourself. Why don’t you find a cheap one on marketplace and send them the link.
Say sorry I have a lot of personal photos and details saved on that computer I don’t want to lose but here is a cheap option. That they won’t be able to waste their time and play games on lol ###### |
Ok so I am neither the parent nor the son in this story. This happened between my father and my brother and it’s kind of split the family. It happened a few months ago but still gets brought up so I was hoping to get Reddit’s take on the situation. For the sake of making it easier to read I’ll be writing from my dad’s perspective.
***
So I (57M) recently discovered my younger son (24M) has been hiding a snake in his bedroom. My two sons (24M and 27M) both live with my wife and I rent-free in our home. All I ask from them is that they help with household chores and respect me and their mom.
My younger son has wanted a snake ever since he was 6. In that time my sons have had a myriad of pets. Over the 20-some years we have been in this house we’ve had dogs, cats, a turtle, countless fish, and frogs.
The only animal I’ve ever said no to is a snake. I don’t like them. I don’t like how big they get and how potentially dangerous they could be to our other pets if my son isn’t careful — and he has a history of not being careful. My father in law at one point considered letting my son get a snake to keep at their house. Fine, so long as it isn’t in my house.
One day while putting mail in my son’s bedroom I noticed that there was a weird glow coming from the corner. I went to look at it and found that he had an aquarium set up with a ball python.
I had words with my son and within a few hours he had sold it to someone who apparently has a lot of snakes that she raises.
My son was very upset to give up his snake. His girlfriend still won’t talk to me and I think even my wife has doubts about whether we did the right thing. I stand firm that I did what was right. I told him no snakes and he went and got a snake and then tried to hide it from me.
So reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA - It’s your house, and in the end you get a say in what pets are allowed. Your son is the AH for trying to hide it from you. If he wants a snake that badly he can move out and get his own place.
That being said, I am curious exactly how you reacted and what “words” you had with him? At any point did you threaten him or the snake? How long did you give him to move the snake and what would the consequences be if he had not? ###### |
Day before yesterday i was talking to my grandmother on facetime when we were talking about my cousin (F 26) having a kid. All of a sudden she starts talking about me having kids. For the context i got married at 16 (this is pretty common practice in Arabia and I live in London with my husband). She tells me that i should start my own family and i politely told her no because me nor my husband want kids right now, we're both studying and i feel like I'm too young. But she wont stop talking about even after me trying to change the topic multiple times. She repeated herself like a MILLION times and it made me very uncomfortable. The weirdest thing was that she wants me to carry the baby, give birth and then send my child back to my home country and she will raise it. I told her no and reminded her that her other granddaughter (my cousin) is having a kid and she should pay attention to her kid and look after them. She always complains that she has gotten very lazy while being pregnant and is making her mother help her. I don't see any issue in that as its their own matter. But after this happened I could not stop thinking about it and haven't told anyone else yet.
So reddit am i the asshole here? ###### | NTA - it’s so weird when anyone wants to tell you what to do with your body, especially something as huge as growing a human in it ###### |
Okay hear me out please, my birthday is in 10 days and this has been stressing me out. His sister has autism and she gets really loud breakdowns which results in everyone feeling bad for her. My boyfriend said “oh it will be so fun, Carrie will be there and she will love Strawberry cake”. I didn’t invite her? What?? We went over who is coming? I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with her because, to put it to truth, SHE RUINS THE VIBE. It’s not the fact she has autism, it’s the fact she can not control herself in this sort of environment. Best tjing I can do is send her the cake slice. My boyfriend is making me feel like I’m bigoted and judgemental when in reality, it is a lose lose. He’s now telling my mom that I don’t wanna invite his sister because she’s autistic and my mom had to give me a speech about different kinds of people. Am I bad for not wanting to invite her? ###### | NTA - it’s okay for you to not cater to her, that isn’t your responsibility. You’re also being considerate on her part, because you’re right that she may be overloaded! It’s your day and you’re doing what’s best for both of you ###### |
This happened a while back but I have recently been thinking about it. We came in to school late as I was just walking around avoiding first period and he was off buying weed so we met up at the shopping centre next to our school. We walk in and I can immediately smell the most potent weed smell I tell him and he says “it’s fine no one will notice”. A few minutes later and were talking to a teacher who instantly recognised the smell, she was a nice teacher so he didn’t get in trouble she just warned him that she could smell it so other teachers would be able to. He starts panicking and asks to wrap it up in my PE kit and I’ll give him it last period. I say no because I didn’t want my PE kit to stink of weed as I had PE last period which means the smell would have had all day to stick to it and I planned on wearing my PE kit home and didn’t want to smell of weed when speaking to my parents.
AITA ###### | NTA - it’s not your problem at all ###### |
So my sister was due to get married before the coronavirus struck and closed everything down so her Hen do was planned before hand but I couldn’t go/afford to go due to uni commitments and lack of funds, which she was fine with and understood. Obviously it was cancelled and they’ve ended up rescheduling the wedding in a few months time (current time being 22/07/2020). This means that they’ve had to reschedule the hen do too. This is where an issue comes in. I was removed from the group chat when I said I couldn’t go and haven’t been told anything until a few days ago. They’ve planned the new hen do for the weekend before my birthday and are wanting to know if I can go. However, in this time my partner has been planning a surprise for my birthday for about a month now which so happens to be that weekend, it’s not like it is just another day it’s an important birthday (21st). I don’t tend to celebrate my birthdays because the effort has never been put in for them by anyone but my partner this year is determined to make it special for me. I’ve told my sister this and she’s started being rude and ignoring me being really snappy and just it’s super awkward to be around her now. I asked my friends if I’m being shitty here and they’ve all replied that I am and I can rearrange my plans for another time but that’s the only time I can as the week after I have to move back to uni. If I could rearrange I would, but whatever my surprise is it’s not refundable (I asked just in case). I just don’t understand why she was understanding then but not now?
So really Am I the Asshole for not going to my sisters hen do because I have birthday plans? ###### | NTA - it’s not refundable and you can’t reschedule. It’s possible that the hen do will have to be rescheduled anyway. I don’t know why an event which shall not be named makes everyone assume other people should be available 24/7 but the fact is, you have plans that you can’t change. If you feel badly about missing the event maybe you could plan something for just you and your sister to celebrate.
Edited to remove rule breaking portion ###### |
I know how the title sounds!
I’ve been with my husband since I was 17 and he was 20, his sister is 4 years younger than him.
3 years into our relationship we got married, I’m 28 now.
I gave birth 8 months ago and I’m currently 6months pregnant with our second.
Two years ago my husbands sister lost her flat, she had a 2 year old so I of course agreed to let her stay with us- rent for her is £200 a month (which barely covers her food) and we specified she would have to tidy up after herself and her child because my husband and I both work full time.
I’ve been off for a while now, I’m still working from home though but no longer go into the office and while his sister has never been the tidiest (she did the bare minimum) she now does absolutely nothing apart from making a mess.
My husband helps out sometimes but, bless his heart, he can burn water and he has no back bone meaning despite only having one child at the moment I’m tidying up after two, three if you count his sister.
My husband wants to give his sister a break since she’s not been late on rent and helps us out sometimes so we can have a day for ourselves (we pay her £11 an hour for that)
Since getting pregnant with our second all she’s done is talk down to me, we’ve had some *heated* arguments, my husband tends to stay neutral.
I’m sick of her, I’ve mentioned it to the both of them - if she isn’t out by January I’m leaving, if she continues giving me attitude she can leave by October.
My husband is now upset for “alienating” his sister who’s trying to get her life back on track (saving for a house, considering going university and working)
At this stage I don’t care if she starts tidying up after herself, I’m done but now I’m wondering if I’m being harsh and overreacting.
AITA? ###### | NTA - It’s been 2 years. In my opinion it kind of sounds like she’s taking advantage because she’s had it easy so long and has the attitude that her brother “wouldn’t let his baby sister live on the street”.
She has a child she needs to provide for and set a good example for. Bad timing with Covid and all that but she’s had two years to sort her life out. ###### |
So my close friend (Q) & her bf (W) are getting engaged this weekend. They’ve been dating for 4 years but when they announced their intention to marry, Q’s family was completely against it & said some vile things to W, who is a lovely, wonderful guy. It hurt them both deeply, but they’ve decided to proceed anyways.
In the process of planning (& hiding) the engagement, but I’ve told off 2 people (both girls):
1. A, Q’s other friend who is working with me for deco. She said we should get guests to print their pictures with Q, write cute notes & scatter it around the tables. I thought it was a nice idea until I clarified with her if she meant the guests & THE COUPLE. She said either way was fine, but it was better if it’s just the guests & Q. I told her it wasn’t Q’s birthday, and unless Q’s marrying herself, shouldn’t we be celebrating the couple? She FINALLY got it after multiple times of me repeating it & agreed that we should plan it to surprise the couple.
2. B, another friend who blurted out the idea mentioned above in the group chat with W. When I told her it was meant to be a surprise for both Q & W, B said ‘oh it’s okay, engagements are for the girl anyway’. I was LIVID. B knew how Q’s family treated W & how W has been affected. & she’s just disregarding him? I told B the same thing I told A, & it took a while before she got it.
So yes, my bf said I was harsh but I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I have let them completely ignore W on his engagement day? ###### | NTA - it’s an engagement between 2 people. Not just one person and it’s especially important to emphasize her fiancé’s role because of how Q’s family has treated him ###### |
Basically I've had suspicions for a while she has been secretly using my perfume. For Christmas my fiancé bought me an £80 bottle of perfume and my dad bought me a £110 designer bottle of perfume (my mum and dad are divorced). When I got these my mum swore that she would not use them because of how expensive they were and that they were mine. She has about 20 bottles of perfume herself but they're all in the cheaper range (£5-£40). Anyway I kept noticing that my perfume boxes have been moving or the perfume inside has changed position. I asked if shes used it and she says no. I decided to hide the perfume and leave the boxes there, if shes not been using them then she won't know they're gone. Since then my mum has been in an absolute pissy with me but won't tell me what's up. I checked the boxes and once again they have moved so I can guess she knows I've hid them. My problem is the fact that she does not spray just a small amount she must use at least 10-15 sprays to just sit downstairs in. If shes going out its 20+. So far since Christmas she has used up 8 full bottles of perfume! She doesn't even ask me if she can use them too she just runs out of the house quickly before I can smell her. I have lots of cheaper and normal priced perfumes which she has bought me in the past but she never uses them, it's always my most expensive ones that she hasn't bought. ###### | NTA - It's yours to do what you want to do with it. If she wants the expensive perfume then she can buy it herself. She's been sneaking around because she knows what she's doing. There's nothing wrong with wanting your things to be YOUR things. ###### |
I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text.
As much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a "life coach and weight loss" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering.
I write a blog about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings/ incur their wrath and judgement.
WIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ###### | NTA - it's your personal information, you should share it, or not share it, in the way that is most comfortable for you.
If you're really worried about it, maybe you can ask your husband to say something to them. That way they're getting the personal touch, but you don't have to be there to hear any judgment from them. ###### |
I (18F) got into an accident and totaled my car. Keep in mind that I bought myself that car and paid for my own insurance. The accident was my fault but not entirely. I ran a stop sign that was covered by trees and hit a parked car to avoid hitting a moving one. The house owner at the corner said that I’m the fourth person to get into an accident because of the same stop sign in under 3 months. Thankfully, no one was hurt.
My insurance decided to buy off my totaled car for $2000. I gave the money to my parents to put away to get myself a new car. On top of that, I also gave them $3000 from my savings for my car (I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it). My parents were livid that I got into an accident. Although nothing came out of their pockets other than my insurance rising that I pay for, they decided to punish me and use the money that my insurance gave me AND my savings to buy my brother (23M) an new car.
I told them that it was my money and that they had no right to do that. All they said was that if I hadn’t gotten into an accident, the car they bought for my brother would’ve been mine. Now my insurance is a lot more expensive than what it was before and they said that with a new car, it’s going to be more expensive. I said that it was my car that I bought and I was paying for insurance and that there was no need to punish me for something that didn’t affect them financially. They don’t care and gave the car to my brother anyway, saying this is what I get for not being careful when driving a car, I don’t get one at all.
AITA for getting upset? ###### | NTA - It's YOUR money. You are an ADULT. They don't get to spend your money on your adult brother to "discipline" you. ###### |
My wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.
Back in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.
I tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.
But she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since.
Until a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.
My sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.
I told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.
She asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.
When I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).
I get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ###### | NTA - It's your equipment, and the circumstances for which you agreed to give her the equipment have drastically altered. The same way you waited till this global pandemic to use it again, they waited till now to actually clear the space, expecting you to hold them forever until they decide they're ready, and even avoiding your attempts to actually give her the equipment. She wants it now for the same reason you want to keep it. You stopped needing it in November and it's now April. At the end of the day, it's your equipment and if you now need it, then you can't be expected to give it away. If your nephew needs equipment so badly, he can come use it at your place.
Also, she shouldn't have decided way after the fact that this agreement would still be in play and prep in advance without even discussing with you first. Given the epidemic, I think most people would assume you would've started using them again. ###### |
Throwaway my wife is on reddit
My daughter(24F) is a lesbian I found out by accident when she was 15 and I saw her in her room kissing a female friend she didn't realize that I saw them so I just moved away slowly and quietly. I told her the next day what I saw and she came out to me, I told her it was okay and that this wouldn't change anything in our relationship, I suggested she tell her mom/my wife, she said she would tell her one day when she is ready but I should keep it a secret
I asked her why she didn't want to tell her she said, her mom has a big mouth and she didn't want other people to know especially her grandparents(my wife's parents are homophobic) so I just let it be and kept the secret as it wasn't my secret to tell.
Well my wife recently found out when my daughter brought her long term girlfriend home who is now her fiancee to introduce her to my wife (I've known about this girl since they started dating, even met her parents), my wife got angry and asked our daughter why she kept this secret from her parents? My daughter responded by saying I knew and I was the one supporting.
My wife then asked me how long I've known about this and I told her truth about everything. Well I'm now being called a liar ( which is true and I understand that I lied all this time but it wasn't my secret to tell), she has accused me of living a double life and sneaking out at night to have dinner with my daughter's secret lovers( also true but my daughter asked me to meet her GF and the asked me to meet her parents, I even play golf with my daughter's fiancee's father)
Then my wife did what my daughter feared about telling her the truth, she called the whole family and some of her friends, now me and my daughter are being called assholes for keeping such a big secret, I'm being called a horrible lying husband.
I just need the opinions of internet strangers on if I'm the asshole or not. ###### | NTA - it's your daughter's decision when she tells people. The golden rule is to NEVER out anyone. You did the right thing, your wife is probably just annoyed she wasn't trusted. ###### |
This happened a couple years ago, but I recently remembered that it happened and can't stop thinking about if I was in the wrong.
I (20F) had just finished work and decided to grab a drink at Starbucks before catching my train home. Two girls (I'm assuming college age) walked in right after me, and as I was waiting in line I noticed that one of the girls was looking at me.
She noticed me look back her at her and she asked "What's your name?"
I was already a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me and my name is a bit unique - which would make me easier to find online so I instead of answering I asked "Why?"
She started telling me about how I kinda looked like someone in her class at one of the nearby colleges. I explained that I didn't attend that college so it couldn't be me and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.
Instead she started saying I was being rude by not telling her my name and that giving someone your name when they ask is common decency. I told her I was sorry, but continued to not tell her my name. At this point her friend, who had been on the phone the entire time, finished her call and this girl started telling her about how rude I was being.
Meanwhile, it was my turn to order (I ended up using a random name for my order) and I managed to escape with my drink.
So AITA? Was I being rude? ###### | NTA - It's your choice to tell somebody your name. ###### |
So I'll keep this short and sweet because it's so dumb.
2 neighbors and I share a driveway because we're in townhouses. We each have our own little garden along it. One of my neighbors have started driving through mine while reversing into their garage and killing my gnomes. I tried to talk to them about it but the wife had a go at me for taking photos of her kids (I didn't even have a phone out). Also, they have plenty of space to reverse in because I do it with my own garage, and this only started around Christmas after almost 2 years of living here
After that they started putting the kids bikes in my garden, so I've been pushing them back against their garage door.
My garden isn't that great, but it's my property, and I like having gnomes and lawn ornaments in it because it's just some fun.
So WITBA if I started to add those little metal decorative fence/edge things to keep them out? Possibly killing a tire of a bike or car? ###### | NTA - it's very inconsiderate of them.
In a similar situation, my neighbour ran a daycare and every morning one of the moms would drive over my garden and crush my plants. I asked her not to, my neighbour asked her not to, and each time she'd stop for a day or so and then it would start again.
So I replaced my crushed lavender with tall decorative grass hiding a big fucking rock.
She drove through the grass and cracked her bumper on the rock. ###### |
I (22F) have been living on my own for about 2 years now, but moved back in with my mom to save money during this time.
When I live alone or with roommates, I rarely ever think about what I eat on a daily basis. But when I’m home, my mom is constantly asking what I’m eating or offering up “healthier” suggestions and I’ve found I feel very anxious eating at her house. She also does this to my sister (21F) and has been a lot worse to her than me in the past. She put my sister on Weight Watchers in like 6th grade. My sister just recently found medical records from that time saying she was not considered overweight until high school.
My mom has a history of bulimia and has been pretty weird about food ever since then. She’s always buying elixirs and protein powders and sugar alternatives and trying to make her food “healthier”.
This morning as I was making my coffee (French press with oat milk) she said that I really should let her make me one of her “coffee drinks” with beef collagen and adaptogens and whatever other shit she was gonna throw in there. Granted, I had not had my coffee yet but I went OFF on how adding processed alternatives to substitute real foods is not “healthy” and the way she micromanages our eating is pretty messed up.
My brother (18M) stepped in and said I was being unusually harsh to my mom and that she doesn’t care what we eat. Of course he thinks that, he’s a “growing boy” in her mind and she doesn’t treat his eating the same as she does my sister and mine.
My sister didn’t want to get into the argument because she didn’t want to bring up poor feelings from our moms bad ED days and overall upbringing.
AITA for calling her out?
tl;dr my mom has an unhealthy relationship with food that she projects onto my sister and I. I finally called her out on it today. ###### | NTA - It's very concerning that your mother is pushing her residual eating disorder thinking onto you and your sister. Maybe you should sit her down and as kindly as possible have a conversation with her about that. Ignoring the problem, contrary to popular belief, does not make it go away. ###### |
All my life I've babysat people when it comes to hanging out. I'll ask, they'll say "I'll get back to you" or "sure maybe next week" or some such thing, and then days will go by and I hear nothing up until the last minute or don't hear anything at all. Recently I decided I'm done doing that. If they don't give me concrete plans or even something like "sure I'm free this weekend or "I think I'm free Monday and Tuesday, let me check and make sure" or something specific like that I just assume we're not hanging out and make other plans. Well recently what I've always feared happening happened. Somebody actually did get back to me at the last minute and I had already made plans with someone else who actually gave me specific plans and information to plan my week off of. This person is upset because I was like "I'm sorry but you didn't give me anything specific and you waited till the last minute to let me know". Am I the asshole for for not putting my whole week and life on hold while I wait for someone to get back to me? ###### | NTA - It's rude of them to leave you hanging until the last minute. If they don't give you a specific reason for the last minute yes or no, then it sounds like they're waiting for a better offer to come along or waiting to see if they're in the mood to hang out. Like if you had asked if they wanted to do something and they said, 'yeah, but I have x going on, so I won't know if I'm free until the day of' then that's one thing, but radio silence until the last minute is disrespectful of your time and would make anyone feel bad and undervalued as a friend. ###### |
I've dated a girl for a few months. I'm her first since her husband of 2 weeks died a year ago this July.
She wants to bring this kid along, but doesn't want her husband's family to know she's dating, so we can't flirt, hold hands, kiss etc. with him around.
Because of that, I said we can't bring him unless she can tell him about us. She can't tell him, but already promised the kid he'd join us. I told her she'd have to go without me if she's gonna bring him.
It might be worth to mention she's got a couple of friends with us to disguise the fact that she's travelling with her new boyfriend.
So, am I the asshole here, or is my decision fair? ###### | NTA - it's not much of a vacation if you spend it hiding your relationship. ###### |
My GF (30f) and I (29m) have been together for 8 years. She recently made some new friends online. She is now asking if one of her new friends (18m) can move in with us.
For a little background, without going too deep, my girlfriend is on disability and cant really leave our home on her own. I, by and large, am the breadwinner of the household. However, we consider both incomes shared money. I make a decent living, but not great and money still gets tight.
We currently live in a one bedroom apartment and would need to move to a two bedroom in the same building to accommodate her friend. Her friend lives with his parents in another state and is the subject of abuse.
She says she knows this friend really well, albeit through online and phone interactions, but I don’t at all.
AMITA, that after considering the whole situation I still can’t get get behind him coming to stay with us?
Edit: To clarify a few things that have been mentioned, she met the guy via online games. The abuse is physical and verbal, she has heard it over the phone. According to the friend it is pretty extreme abuse, full punches etc... ###### | NTA - It's awful that her friend is going through abuse, but if you don't feel comfortable with it (and I understand why you wouldn't, this person is a stranger), then your girlfriend is wrong for pushing you. Especially since you'd have to get a whole new apartment for it. Your girlfriend should look into any other resources - other people/friends who might have spare rooms, possible shelters, etc. ###### |
My fiancé has been jobless for almost an entire year now. I am currently working two jobs (roughly 65 hours a week) and am frequently exhausted when I get home. With our current situation, I have asked that she do most of the cleaning because I usually don’t have the time to do it properly and I don’t want to live in a pig sty.
I don’t ask her to do everything and I don’t ask her to clean up after me. I do my own dishes and what is in the sink while I’m doing my own, I take out the trash on my way out, and I do a load (or more) of laundry every day. I leave at 6am most mornings and don’t get home until around 7-8 every night.
With this being said, I’ve talk to her and ask her to do a few things here and there to get things together. She always argues with me that she shouldn’t be doing all the cleaning and normally I would agree. HOWEVER, she sits at home all day and does nothing but watch tv or play games while I am working my ass off to support the both of us until she can find a job! When she gets one I can loosen my hours so I’m not working so much and it will go back to equal amounts of chores. AITA??
Also for clarification, this isn’t some sexist bs, we are both female.
Tl;Dr my unemployed (not COVID-19 related) fiancée complains about having to do most of the cleaning while I’m working two jobs to support the both of us. ###### | NTA - it wouldn’t be sexist if you were a male either. She is a mooch. ###### |
This happened in March before bars got shut down. It was the night of my staff party. I (25f) had invited my cousin (18f) a month before and she said she will come. Day of she cancelled. So I went with my brother (23) instead. We arrived and were having a good time when she showed up. The event coordinator talked to me about only being allowed one guest. It was embarrassing, but the coordinator let my cousin stay.
It was an open bar, and around 11pm my brother and I were a bit tipsy. Our cousin doesnt drink. She informed me she wanted to come home with me and sleep over.
My brother and I got into a disagreement. We didnt cause a scene or anything. We went to the lobby. I started crying and said I'm leaving. My cousin knew I was leaving. I went to the sidewalk and called a cab. The lobby was all glass so she could see me waiting at the curb. But she was talking to my brother so I assumed she wanted to stay with him.
I got home and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to angry texts from my sister, my gramma, and my cousins dad accusing me of abandoning my cousin downtown at night. They were mean text messages. She had told them I abandoned her downtown at night.
1. She knew I was leaving and didnt come with me.
2. I waited 15 mins for a cab to come (Friday night) and she never came outside to wait with me.
3. She had money for a cab
4. She was with my brother who lives close to her.
5. There was an underground train station a block away from the bar that would've taken her practically all the way home. Which I understand is dangerous for a young girl at night. See number 3.
6. Her dad is overprotective, and would've 100% picked her up if she asked.
7. If my older sister did this to me when I was 18, none of my family members would care.
She ended up sharing a taxi with my brother. Her dad hasnt spoke to me since this happened and my gramma and sister havent forgiven me. AITA? ###### | NTA - it woulda been different if your brother weren't there, but he was. You didn't leave her by herself. She wasn't in danger.
Yea, you coulda double checked with her, but the most people should be angry about is you abruptly changing plans (she mentioned staying with you) ###### |
I have a new roommate in a share house. There's a few of us here, all young adults.
My new roommate wants to give music lessons to children and I said no.
I said no mainly because I am uncomfortable with having children at the house. This is a young adults share house where we all study and work. We are often home during the day, have boyfriends and girlfriend's over, have sex and so on.
It seems inappropriate to bring children into this environment.
I also have noise concerns, as the rest of us are often home during when these lessons would be, trying to study and relax.
But my main issue I don't really like kids, I don't think it's appropriate for kids to be around strange adults coming and going and I don't want kids hanging around my house.
AITA for saying no to the music lessons? ###### | NTA - it would be deeply inappropriate for someone to bring a string of random children into this type of home. Your roommate doesn’t have access to background checks for every person there and doesn’t know what (if any) screening process the landlord uses. It’s also okay to just plain not care for kids. Plus it would be irresponsible parenting to bring kids into a home with a rotating cast of random adults. It’s a recipe for disaster. ###### |
Reddit,
I need a sanity check.
I got someone who bought a AIO pc that's obviously not for gaming, they offered me a lower than asking price, by a lot, and I accepted. WCGW (paid 350 from 600 asking if anyone is curious)
its been less than 12 hours since we exchanged and they are now crying for a refund because... you guessed it, it doesn't play video games.
before anyone decides to be a wiseguy, the PC is completely functional and the display is flawless (no dead pixels). They even admitted over text that they don't want it anymore because it doesn't play any games.
its got an i3, 8gb of ram and a 256gb ssd. On one side, I don't want to because there's no way to prove they didn't tamper with it (ad was deleted off letgo as soon as it was handed off so I can't even prove the original specs I sold it with), on another side, I don't really care about buyers remorse.
AITA if I lowkey don't want to refund the person and .... don't? ###### | NTA - it was up to the buyer to question specs, ability to play game prior to purchase. As long as it was working when you put it out the door, it is no longer your responsibility.
If you want to be nice, you can take it back but you are not obligated. If they don't want it, they can put it back up for sale. ###### |
I have always been a fairly small guy, and at 5'8 weighed about 125 lbs. I was also fairly weak for a while. My girlfriend often teases me about this (completely jokingly, she means no harm by this at all) as she has been lifting regularly for over a year now, and was definitely stronger than me.
Recently the teasing has been getting more frequent, so just to spite her, I've been using the extra time in quarantine to start lifting with a few dumbbells in the house. It's been a bit over a month and although I'm still below average strength, I've overtaken my girlfriend in the amount of weight we can lift.
I can tell that this slightly upset her and she asked me that now that I've proven my point am I going to stop lifting. The thing is now that I've begun this journey, I actually really enjoy the routine and the process.
My girlfriend thinks that I'm an asshole because I did all of this just to get back at her, and though I did start with that intention, that is no longer my motivation.
AITA for lifting just to make a point and then not stopping? ###### | NTA - it was almost an “everyone sucks” because this is all so petty, but she’s gone too far by wanting you to stop now that you’ve found you genuinely like it. Her insecurity is preventing her from supporting you. ###### |
Ok, soooo the other night I was on my way to meet my girlfriend, he place is a 20 minute walk from mine if I cut through a park near her house, I like the walk especially on warm nights.
Anyway it was kinda late but I told my gf I was heading over and sent her a message as I was walking out the door.
I was 5 minutes into my walk and approaching the park when I noticed a woman walking too, she kept looking back at me I could tell I was making her uncomfortable. She made her way into the park, I knew if I had also “followed” her into the park I’d terrify her. Even though I knew I had no ill intentions, I know I can be intimidating I’m 6’3, and even if I wasn’t I know that a man walking near a woman at night would scare her.
So I decided to walk the long way. When I got to my gfs I explained why I was late, and she told me I should’ve just cut through the park and to have overtaken the woman, and then went on to say “you could’ve kept an eye out for her just in case someone actually bad was in the park” which made me think damn maybe I made the wrong decision. ###### | NTA - it was actually considerate of you to do that and your gf can wait a little, if you can help someone feel less anxious ###### |
My family all says I am being an asshole for this but I think they are just too non confrontational but I will leave it to the internet to decide so here is the story.
Background 9 years ago my cousin got married to his his highschool sweetheart after she graduated community college. They had been living together and my cousin did not go to college as he was supporting her through college. She is accepted into a school in (no fault state) so off they move. They have a child which He takes care of and works nights to send his wife to school. In her final years she gets a job in her field under one of her professors. Right after graduation she tells him that she wants a divorce she has been sleeping with her boss/professor for 2 years and now that she is no longer her teacher he is leaving his wife and they are getting married. ending their 7 year marriage. I was not informed of any of this to call her out at the time I was never actually told of the divorce just my parents told me to save the date for same cousins marriage then they told me what went down
So comes our story cousin was having a rough time of it after the divorce but eventually ran into his middle school crush they hit it off. They invite family to second wedding and put an engagement announcement on facebook. Bitch Ex wife sees the announcement and post, "He is such a bad father He did not even ask his child if it was okay for him to get married again how will this affect her?"
so I responded in a PM "Did you ask kidsname if it was okay with them if you cheated on daddy and slept with your boss then divorce daddy? how do you think that will affect her?"
family is mad when she contacted them. am i the asshole? ###### | NTA - it was a private message so it’s not like you called her out publicly. She is only mad because you stated the truth. ###### |
Hey guys! This is my first time posting on AITA so please bear with me....
First a bit of context... I was planning on getting married this October but have no idea if that is still going to happen due to the lockdown that's going on
So I (29yo F) was on the phone to my mother this morning discussing plans for a "Virtual Birthday party" for me for next week (basically a group video chat with family) and we got on talking about how because of the quarantine that all my families birthdays have been pretty much cancelled this year.
I really wanted to do something special as it's my 30th but will happily settle with just a call, I suggested that we could set up like a Family birthday party after quarantine to celebrate everyone's birthdays. My mum then responds with "well we will see if we can, maybe we can do a joint birthday call next week as your SILs birthday is 2 days after yours and you were planning to get married this year so we can all just celebrate them at the reception" I was deeply hurt and angry by this as
1. my birthday has always been over shadowed as my SIL is a few days after mine and therefore I've had to have joint parties/gatherings for years, I dont usually mind but this is a big birthday and all my 'big' birthdays have eaither been ruined or shared, and
2. that my wedding day is supposed to be about my hubby and me! I told my mum that in no way, shape or form will I be sharing my wedding reception with birthday celebrations for everyone else, it's my big day, and one that I've been waiting on for years, I wont be upstaged on my wedding day"
She got kind of huffy and said well it's not often all the family is together and that we will "just see what happens" now I love my mother and my SIL dearly but this has really struck a nerve.... but still I cant help wondering AITA? ###### | NTA - it takes some serious balls to tell your own daughter that her wedding isn’t about her. Wow. That isn’t just an asshole thing to say, it’s mega-asshole.
ETA - talk to whoever will be in charge of the mic at the reception. Let them know that if the word birthday or covid is uttered the mic is to be immediately cut off and attention redirected. Make sure the planner, event location management, caterer, or whoever know that all birthday cakes supplied by family are for the staff to consume, preferably immediately, or deposited on the trash. ###### |
I am 20, living with my parents and at the moment I am the only person in my house working; my parents and younger brother have been staying home. I’ve made it a point to ONLY leave the house if I’m going to work or to do something alone, like go on a walk. We were all tested for COVID on Tuesday and all results came back negative.
The part of the state we are living in has not gone into “Phase 2” yet but it should be happening soon. Part of Phase 2 includes hair salons opening up. I am naturally brunette but have been blonde for the past few years and my hair isn’t looking it’s best but obviously there is much worse shit going on in the world so it’s not a big deal in the slightest.
However, my dad told us today that his friend, who he hasn’t seen in like 2 months, might be coming over tomorrow. My mom and I were obviously like wtf because we’ve all done our best to socially distance and stuff and his friend coming over is a stupid move imo. So, I told him that I’m going to schedule a hair appointment (my hair girl texted me and said she’ll be opening up as soon as phase 2 starts) as soon as I can and my dad started telling me that I’m being stupid, my hair can wait, etc. I told him I could say the same thing about his friend coming over— they haven’t seen each other in 2+ months so they can wait. This all turned into a big disagreement. I don’t see an issue with me going to get my hair done when the governor says it’s okay to do so. AITA? ###### | NTA - It seems your dad doesn’t see how bringing his friend over and you getting your hair done is essentially the same. ###### |
I don't know if this is too small stakes for this sub but it's been an issue in my immediate family and I want to know if I'm in the wrong.
I proposed seven months ago with a $4000 ring. About four months ago I noticed she stopped wearing her engagement ring and I asked her why. She said she didn't want to lose it so she keeps it in a jewellery box hidden away for special occasions. I didn't press further.
I found out a month ago that while this is technically true, she has told me she doesn't know where the jewellery box is. She doesn't have much jewellery so she told me it's literally just a ring box, not one of those bigger fixtures you might think when you think about jewellery boxes. She said she was actively looking for it.
A week ago it got to a heated discussion about the ring where I tell her I'm disappointed she's lost it. She tells me she did not in fact lose it, but misplaced it. To me, that means the same thing. She said she hasn't had time to look for it but knows she didn't lose it (???).
Now I bring it up every day, asking her if she found the ring. The answer is always no. She is getting mad at me and getting her parents to put pressure on me to drop it. She "doesn't want to be reminded of it". If I was in her shoes and I lost literally the most expensive thing I own, I'd be frantically looking for it, not taking this laissez-faire approach. I mean, I wouldn't have lost it anyways: I would have known where it is at any moment on any day. You don't just lose something that's $4000, right? The longer it takes for her to find it, the less likely she's going to find it, right?
Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA - it seems like she just doesn't want to discuss it, maybe thinking the problem will just go away if you don't mention it. This is a huge red flag, if she's this careless about a $4,000 ring, what does that say about her? I'd try and set a date where you guys both go over her place to try and find it....hopefully it'll still be there ###### |
I (10 M cat) was sleeping very comfortably in my owners' (36 M, 31 F) bed with them one evening when I suddenly had the urge to swat the guy with my paw a number of times and tickle him with my tail. For some reason he didn't take kindly to this, so he kicked me out of the bed, as he does many nights. He's a very mean person in this respect.
So I naturally then just do my thing. Fifteen minutes later my owners' son (3 M) comes into their bed asking if he can sleep with them. The guy tells him he doesn't think it's early morning yet, and starts to help the kid back to bed, when he notices the kid is covered in pee. Naturally he thinks it was a bedtime accident, and so takes him to the bathroom to change his pajamas, give him a bath, and gently explain that he should be more careful about going to the bathroom before bedtime, but it's ok. The kid for some reason doesn't take kindly to second bath at 2AM with really bright lights while half-asleep, hearing about bathroom time yet again, and is very upset. After calming him down, the guy takes the kid to the couch so he could change the sheets....when he discovered there's no way the kiddo could have made such a big mess, and it clicked why the underwear wasn't even that wet.
I'll own up to it: it was me. I peed in the kids bed. I was just so angry at being kicked out of their bed! But all of this could have been avoided if he just ignored my pawing and tickling, and let me have like a third of the bed to myself with him as a toy. Really, it's on him.
AITA? ###### | NTA - it is your right as a cat (and therefore lord and master of the universe) to do as you wish. ###### |
I know the title sounds absolutely ridiculous and to be honest the situation is actually ridiculous so I’ll try my best to explain.
Me, my sister and her boyfriend are currently renting a house together, we all do our part and we all equally pay the rent.
The house we are renting has a fucking massive backyard.
Well one day, I was sat in the yard drinking my coffee when I had an epiphany.
I want to order a bouncy castle for my 21st birthday in a couple days time.
Yes I’ll be 21 and yes it is incredibly childish of me but god dammit we’re in quarantine and I want to do nothing more than get drunk hop on a bouncy castle and jump to my hearts content.
I am a massive fucking child I know.
I told my sister about the idea and she’s completely against the idea. She told me that it’s immature and the only person who will get enjoyment out of my birthday will be me and that her and her boyfriend won’t enjoy it
I know for a fact that her boyfriend would love it and she’s a god dam liar.
But every time I look into the garden, all I see is the potential it has to have a wicked bouncy castle in it. My sister also claims that I’ll be embarrassing myself to the neighbours when they look out the window and see a 21 year old girl having the time of her life on a bouncy castle.
Money also isn’t an issue either and we are all thankful to have jobs and I do have the money to spare.
So, will I be the asshole if I go ahead and live my bouncy castle dreams? ###### | NTA - it is your birthday, and if she doesn't want to have fun, let her sit in the house and pout like a 5 year old. ###### |
My boyfriend \[29M\] and I \[23F\] have been together for 4 months but known each other a few years. He earns roughly double what I do and lives in a nice apartment by himself, I have a nice enough apartment with 2 housemates. His apartment is a lot closer to our respective workplaces than mine and as a result of this we've always tended to spend more time at his place.
Last night he was in a fairly irritable mood anyway, then later on in the evening he suddenly told me rent is due next week and I need to transfer him half. This really took me aback as although we have briefly discussed moving in together in the past we've never spoken about me moving into his place or paying him rent. I thought it was an unspoken understanding that I absolutely **cannot** afford half his rent and so if we were to move in together we'd both have to move.
I thought about it and I admit I have been back to my own place only twice in the past two weeks but I've never received any impression from him that I've overstayed my welcome, and we've hung out together in that time when we're not working. In the past when he's mentioned he's having friends over I've stayed away unless he's invited me into those plans. Also, I do the majority of the cooking for us and tend to buy the groceries for that, and we take it in turns paying for dates but he probably does pay more in total.
I just kept quiet when he mentioned it last night (it was already pretty late so I didn't go home) as he was already in a bad mood and I felt like he was pushing for an argument, then I went back to my own place after work today.
I realise that he obviously feels that I have overstepped a boundary in the amount of time I've spent at his but I honestly did not realise before now. AITA for not feeling like I should have to pay half his rent this month? This is the first I've heard of the issue, and also I would *really* struggle to do so. ###### | NTA - it doesn’t sound like there was an agreement for you to pay half his rent. I would probably sleep at home from now on if I were you. ###### |
Just as the title says.
I have a family full of health-nut anti-vaxxers. My cousin in Australia just had a baby and is very vocal about the fact that she is not vaccinating. I am not immuno-compromised but I have many friends who are, and I feel like it's the right thing to do so as to not spread anything to people that I care about. I have my vaccinations, I am at very low risk, and I guess I'm feeling guilty because I am technically safe to meet her baby. I felt very confident in my decision at first but now the backlash from my family has me second guessing myself. ###### | NTA - It doesn't matter that you're safe, you can still be a vector, also i seriously agree to any measure to discourage non-vaxxers, we have to state as loud as we can that this is not an ideology that has any right to be respected and that she's putting a lot of people in danger by doing this. ###### |
So I recently moved to the UK and I rebound my keyboard dollar sign to £. I’m on mobile now so I can easily type both. I’m from America, and I usually talk to my mom through Facebook on my computer.
Now this is a really stupid argument, which I’ll probably give in to just to keep the peace but anyway. When I was talking to my mom I mentioned I bought a new toaster, and said it was £30. She got mad and said to only use $ when talking to her. I said that my keyboard uses £ now and I use British currency in my everyday life, so why would I use $? She said when I’m talking to her I should use American dollars because I’m talking to an American.
AITA if I keep using £? I probably won’t because it’s my mom but still. This isn’t normal right lol? ###### | NTA - it didn't cost $30, it cost £30 which would convert to a different number. ###### |
I’m gonna be the first person to say that this is beyond pathetic
I’ve recently moved in with my boyfriend and we got a puppy (great dane) who we named Ralph. We’ve wanted a dog forever and had picked a few names a while ago but I knew ultimately that I would want Ralph
My brother and his wife had asked us what we were gonna call him and I mentioned a couple of picks (including Ralph) and they both said that they were cute choices
We got Ralph two weeks ago and officially announced on Facebook that he’d “joined our family” and that his name was indeed Ralph. My SIL text me the next day saying she couldn’t believe I stole the name that she wanted for her dog. I actually laughed out loud and in response because I thought she was joking around. She followed it up with how “stupid” it would be to have two dogs in the family that are called the same name. I didn’t reply and she hasn’t spoken to me since haha
When my brother came round to see my puppy, he said that she didn’t want to come because she was ‘furious’ with me but he told her it was stupid and that they weren’t even getting a dog, let alone even discussed wanting one! She was also mad with him for coming round because he “was taking my side”
AITA for calling my puppy Ralph which apparently my SIL wanted for her dog? ###### | NTA - it always makes me sad to see another story about a child bride, married off before she even got to grow up. ###### |
I(19F) got a summer job at a caffè that is a part of an insurance and car company. My customers are basically the employees and their customers. All the employees get free drinks and they can treat whoever they want and so can I so yesterday my friend(17F) came by for a cup of coffee. She was sitting at the bar and chatting with me for almost 2 hours and when she left two male coworkers, let's call them Ben and Carl, sat down for a drink and started talking to me.
Ben(36M): Hey Carl, did you see that hot friend of hers that came by?
Carl(40+M): Yeah of course. She's pretty hot. Hey, OP, she's 20, right?
Me: No, Jesus Christ she is younger than me, she's still a minor.
Ben: Damn she has curves for someone her age.
I was disgusted beyond belief. Their conversation continued although they knew she is a minor..
I said to them that they are disgusting pigs because she could be their daughter(ironically, they both have young children). As my 2 female coworkers were sitting at the bar today, Carl also sat down for a drink but he sat down on my seat(that's the only place where I as a waitress can sit).
Me: Sorry but you're in my seat.
Carl: Oh, so you want me to get up?
Me: It's okay, you can stay if u want.
Carl: You know, when I was your age I would rather never sit down than disrespect someone older than me like you just have.
Coworker: Kids today are sadly nothing like we used to be.
I didn't say anything to them but God was I pissed off. You disrespect my MINOR friend, talk about her curves even though she is young enough to be your daughter and after all that you want to be treated with respect?? I don't think I'm the asshole here but apparently my female coworker thinks so. So, redditors, AITA? ###### | NTA - inform HR or their superior. The fact they would openly talk about this is in front of you is disturbing and crosses boundaries and shows a fundamental lack of knowledge of what appropriate behavior is. For your safety, your friends safety and any other unsuspecting children or women who might cross their paths please report them. ###### |
My wife and I live with our 4 kids in a house that is pretty close to our next door neighbors. A year ago, a new family moved in next door with their 3 kids.
Our property technically extends until about 5 feet from our neighbor’s physical house, so we have always used that land on that side as a place to park an extra car or whatever.
Our new neighbor put up a basketball hoop for their kid in the driveway so that when their kids played, they were inching on what was technically our property. We had no problem with that because who cares.
However, eventually our neighbors began parking their car in that land. We asked them to stop because 1) sometimes we park there and 2) our kids play wiffle ball all the time in the back yard and didn’t want cars that are not us pulling in and out without expecting our kids to run out and also 3) it’s our property and we really shouldn’t have to explain more than that.
When we asked them to stop parking there, they said they didn’t understand why we couldn’t share the land as it had room for 2 cars and all the kids run around there and nobody has cared before. They even said they would move a car from there if we ever needed the space upon request. We didn’t really want to go down that road.
When they continued to park there, one day we had a fence built on our property so that they could not longer park there and now their kids could no longer play basketball there (the second part was not our intention). We did not tell them we were building the fence beforehand and our neighbors freaked out saying we were being selfish.
AITA? ###### | NTA - in Texas there is the law of adverse possession. (Essentially squatters rights) so you did what you needed done to protect your investment. ###### |
My wife and I just heard from our agent that we received a full price offer on our house within a week of listing.
What should be a happy occasion turned out to be a fight....
We’ve been working furiously to get the house in proper order to ensure a quick/full price sale. We’ve spent nearly $5k on painting, cleaning and upgrades.
Our to do list didn’t get finished by the time we went on the market, and there are a few detail jobs still left to be done. However, that didn’t prevent us from listing, and getting a full price offer quickly.
We were basking in the glow of this news tonight, when my wife told me that she still wanted to get the last few projects done to ‘clear my conscience’. I told her that I thought that was a waste of time, and that we’d already spent enough time/money/effort to get the result we ultimately wanted, which was a quick sale.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to spend more time, money, and effort when we’ve already achieved our goal? ###### | NTA - in fact, you would be the asshole if you went ahead with the projects unless it is something that is structurally wrong with the house. For example - new countertops. You could invest and put in the nicest (to your eye) countertops replacing the ones the buyer saw. The buyer could then not like your taste and walk out of your deal. I mean - perhaps they love the green Formica 1960s countertops! Or, perhaps they are going to upgrade your house when they purchase to their taste and have factored that into the price. Don’t do anything further unless your house is literally broken and you cannot avoid it. Even then, they will find this stuff in the inspection and you should negotiate the price for them to do it to their taste. ###### |
My mom and I had a pretty rocky relationship while I was growing up, but the past 5 years or so has been great and we talk on the phone almost every day.
Yesterday at 4 I called her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, and she was short with me from the beginning. I asked her how she was and she admitted she was sad that she spent all day waiting for me to call. I explained that I had been busy, and I was worried earlier when I had free time that she would be sleeping. I spent about 5 minutes trying to talk with her, but she just kept giving me one word answers or not responding at all. At the very end when I gave up and asked to speak to my dad, she gave me a sarcastic "Oh, of course you want to talk to dad."
I thought things would be okay with a little time, but late last night I realized that I never updated my relationship status on Facebook. I didn't make a big post. I just changed the status, and even though it's viewable to friends, it's not showing up on everyone's timeline so it has gotten minimal attention. We've been married for months (a small ceremony with just us, our pastor, and the couple that mentored us) and all our close family and friends already know, but it's news to old high school and college friends, for example.
I woke up this morning to multiple messages from my mom written in the middle of the night about how could I be so hurtful, why do I have time for Facebook but not her, why couldn't I send her a card or a gift or do something special for one day, why did Mother's Day have to be the day I made the big announcement, etc.. AITA? ###### | NTA - If your mom didn’t already know you were married and that’s how she found out? Sure she could be upset. But the way it really went down is no big deal. Your mom is being a drama queen. ###### |
My gf went through a rough patch which involved some heavy drugs a few years back. When we got back together she promised to attend these AA/NA meetings at our church and go to therapy. Part of the therapy involved drug testing every 6 months. Well she stopped therapy awhile ago and has been unofficially living with me.
Today she sat me down and asked if she could move in. I said yes but on the condition she goes through a drug test. She completely went mad when she heard this. Saying that I'm an asshole for no trusting her and what nots. I get that she's trying to clean things up and she's been clean for a year but it's just a precaution.
Aita? ###### | NTA - If your GF was actually still in recovery, the thought of taking another drug test wouldn't phase her. She is using again and probably needs a new place to stay. ###### |
So my male (35) friend has a daughter (11) he isn't with her mother anymore and he gets to see his daughter maybe 4 days per fortnight.
I've stayed at his house before and noticed that his daughter insists on sleeping in the same room, or same bed as her dad. It gets to the point where she throws full on tantrums, with crying and hysterics because she claims she can't sleep unless she is sleeping with an adult. She apparently sleeps in the same bed as her mother every night. So he generally gives in to stop her tantrums.
I find it really odd that she refuses to sleep in her own bed. I've never known another 11 year old that can't sleep in her own bed.
I've tried to talk to him about it very gently in the past but he blows off the conversation and makes excuses for her behaviour or blames it on her mother. His daughter is a very sensitive topic for him and he lashes out whenever someone comments on his daughters weird behaviour.
Would I be an asshole if I told him that it is not normal for an 11 year old to sleep in a bed with her dad and he needs to get her into therapy to address why she won't sleep in her own bed? ###### | NTA - if you do it politely and gently. But yeah, this sounds like very abnormal behavior. Realistically, when parents who were together aren't anymore, they should probably get their child in therapy even if they are well adjusted. So, yeah, he should definitely be considering therapy and not excusing the behaviors. ###### |
I’m an only child and so is my husband and we have a small house and kids. Our parents often put down our tiny, full house. My in-laws arrived shortly after we bought our house with furniture that didn’t fit in their condo even though our house is barely larger than their condo, I wasn’t consulted. My dad gave us an bunch of his furniture he didn’t want. Ok, free furniture, but there’s stuff I don’t like, like a giant chest filled with my MILs student art that must be kept and a case of ivories. I don’t want to be a person who has ivories. But now it’s starting to really irritate me. His house is at least double the square footage of mine with one person and thee unused rooms! And every time I see him he tells me to take more of my dead mom’s stuff, my dead grandma’s stuff. He pushed a big cross on me even though I’m not Christian and the gave it to my kid when I said no thanks. Today he called me and “offered” a large freestanding mirror that has been at my aunt’s house the decade+ grandma has been dead. “No thanks, I don’t have any space for it” and he gets angry. How it’s nice and “I guess she’ll give it to Goodwill”, sniff sniff. Now we have to provide homes for grandma’s stuff in other people’s houses? He has three unused rooms!
AITA for saying no and if they treasure this crap they can find room for it? ###### | NTA - if they wanted the items in the family, they’d keep them if you said no. An heirloom that’s been handed down again and again with sentimental meaning, I totally understand. Grandma’s old furniture? Nah fam. ###### |
So I took over care of a dog because the owners thought she was too hyper and didn't want her because they didn't know how to train her to not be hyper so my friend suggested me because I am a dog lover and am good at training, they gave me the dog like the dog is mine completely the are never getting her back especially because in my opinion they were abusing her but that's a completely different story.
I tried calling the dog by the name they had given it Peanut, I tried for 3 days to get her to respond to it I couldn't get so much as an ear twitch she just wouldn't respond, so I tried calling her Honey she instantly responded if I called her Honey and asked her to sit she would do it right away if I called her from across the house calling her Honey she would come running. My friend who arranged for me to get the dog is saying that I shouldn't just change her name and that she's had that name for 3 years. As well as saying it's disrespectful to change the dog's name, I'm just at a loss for if I'm being unreasonable? I also asked that my friend please use the name Honey when refering to my dog because thats her name now. So am i the one being an asshole?
Since people keep asking here is Honey
My baby! https://imgur.com/gallery/bn8300N ###### | NTA - if the dog responds to it it works. It might take a while for your friend to not use Peanut, but you changed the dog's name, so now that dog is Honey.
Also, can we see Honey :) ###### |
I (21M) live with my mother (55) and younger sister (16), but I'll be moving out my partner in a month. I have a good relationship with my mother of mutual respect and collaboration, ever since my dad left, we've been a team in keeping the house afloat in term of finances and chores, however, with time, my mother has become messier and messier. What bothers me the most is that she leaves empty bottles, cans and egg shells in the kitchen sink.
I try to do my part but it's a big house and I work full time, I've talked to her multiple times about making my sister help around the house or hiring someone to clean if she's to tired to do things, but she always answers with "maybe" or "we'll see". We've been having ants, roaches and I've seen RATS in the kitchen, and I just get depressed and anxious being here, because I just really, REALLY hate living in this condition.
So one day I send a picture of egg shells and an empty can in the sink to the group chat (were my mother and the rest of my adult siblings are) with something like: "this is why have roaches" to which my siblings answered with disgusted comments. After a while my mom came a cleaned the kitchen, so every time she leaves trash on the sink, I send a picture and she comes and cleans it. I don't like embarrassing my mother, but I'm tired of telling her that we'll get sick if she keeps leaving shit in the sink! My siblings have told me that I should let it go since I'm moving out soon, but that doesn't change the fact that my mother and my sister will keep living in a shithole if they don't clean more. AITA? ###### | NTA - If that's the only way to get her to not be a total slob, then I don't blame you. I'm no neat freak, but at least I have the sense not to leave garbage lying around.
Should could also be depressed, too. If this messiness is somewhat new, then something changed with your mom. You should help her find a therapist, or someone should. ###### |
I'm an exec at a start-up, due to COVID we needed to lay some people off. Only about 5% of our staff and I was told to make a 1 cut in our operations and strat team. The person I chose to let go is named Sara and is like 23, and has been with us for a year. On that team we have 5 people and a couple months back we had a happy hour and went to a bar with a bunch of people from our company. Sara got a little tipsy and I was walking by her and a couple of other women in the office on my way to the washroom at the bar when I heard her loudly say that she thinks I have the smallest dick in the office due to me being Asian and not having "big dick energy". This was pretty racist in my opinion but she and the other people didnt notice me pass by and hear this.
I didn't change my attitude towards her or anything in any way since then but when making the layoff today I laid her off because of it. It was basically the same to lay anyone off in the dept, they all work the same and are all talented on the same level and she's a good worker.
I told my buddy this and he just laughed his ass off but called me a bit of an asshole, but I don't think I am, she's racist and obviously you should be more coy about insulting the boss.
AITA? ###### | NTA - If she's not smart enough to watch what she says around her boss, that's reason enough to let her go. ###### |
My sister has recently created a new instagram account that she only lets her friends follow, I thought nothing of it but one of our mutual friends sent me a screenshot of the account. It was nothing but posts about her talking shit about me, our cousin, and a couple of her other friends. I went to confront my sister about this and basically told her if she has a problem with me she can say it to my face. When I showed her the screenshot she said she can saw whatever she wants about me or anyone. I told her to take down the posts or the account, and my sister told me that she won't do any of that.
My friend recently sent me another screenshot and it was her full on her going over the full conversation we had and her talking shit about me again. I knew I wasn't gonna do shit so I straight up told my mom that she was making fun of me on an instagram account, my mom nearly tore her head off and she had to delete the account in front of her lol.
My sister called me a "fucking snitch" and said that I had to go get mommy to deal with her issues. I just told her to not talk shit on me and this wouldn't have to happen. ###### | NTA - if she does it again, report her to Instagram for online harassment and cyber bullying. ###### |
I (22F) got a job as a secretary-murse at a doctor's office to help my family while I study. I started there 2 weeks before the quarantine. During the quarantine, the doctor shut the office down by her choice as she was pregnant and afraid of getting the virus. She hadn't hired me yet (illegal) and didn't offer to hire me during the quarantine (so that I could take the stimulus check for people whose work closed).
Fast forward to a week ago, she called me to demand me to answer the phones and make prescriptions while she would be in the hospital giving birth. I said I would cover her for those days despite not being ok with her not hiring or paying me. Now, those days have passed and she's back home and wants me to keep answering etc. Which means that it will take up too much time from my studying (we had agreed that during my exams and her delivery we would completely close the office, but she took advantage of the fact that the government now allows you to do online prescriptions). Additionally, she wants to reopen the office exactly when my first exam starts (my exams moved two weeks later, so her delivery is now over and my exams are starting).
I told her that I don't want to keep answering the phone and I am not going back before the exams end. She completely changed her tone while talking to me and even asked me to do a prescription "if I can even do that being so busy". I feel like I don't owe her anything, especially since she hasn't hired me. AITA for leaving now, her having a newborn and c section healing? ###### | NTA - if she didn’t hire you how are you working for her? I’m confused ###### |
My stepson is 11 and at his school they have these annual events (father-son camping, mother-daughter cooking etc). Late last year they held a mother and son race where the mother had to run across the field and piggy back their sons back to the other side and then tie our legs together and just sprint back across.
A week prior my stepson Dylan was talking about it and how he thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing. When I looked at their poster for it, it looked fun so I convinced him to sign up for it. Later that day I called his mother Julie but she didn't pick up so I left a voicemail talking about the event and asking her to get back to us if she is available. Five days past and still no word from her. Being honest when she didn't respond, I saw it as an opportunity for Dylan and I to bond but since I respect Julie as his mother I sent her an email (doesn't use social media) with the poster and talking about how Dylan has signed up for it. Two days passed and still nothing. So I went to Dylan and told him that his mother hadn't gotten back to me but if he was okay with it, I was willing to step in since it was too late to pull out. He was a bit disappointed but still fine.
The day came and it was a blast. Tiresome but definitely worth it. It was just so much fun and I made a few friends there who were also stepmothers. And obviously we won 1st place and got two medals. Dylan also enjoyed it and feels way more comfortable with me now.
While I was browsing the school's website last week, I saw a picture from that day with me running and Dylan cheering on my back. It was a cute picture so I downloaded it and made it my profile picture. Turns out one of Julie's friends showed her the picture and now she's going on a rant about how I shouldn't have done that and how I've overstepped my mark as his step mother. When I told her I called her and sent an email she went on saying that I should've sent her a text or called her again instead of just once. AITA? ###### | NTA - if she didn't reply to one text or a mail, why would she respond to another one. Incredibly rude on her part to leave your messages unread. You stepped in when she let her son down and that's something your stepson will remember. Where's your husband in all of this, why is he letting his ex talk to you like this? ###### |
At my local grocery store, there are parking spots designated for pregnant/ new moms and veterans.
I’m about 32 weeks pregnant with twins, or 7 months for those of you who don’t speak pregnant. I had to go to the grocery store and as I was pulling up, I noticed one of those spots open and took it. As I was getting out of my car another car pulled up and told me I couldn’t park there because it was for veterans. I said it was for pregnant women and veterans, and I was one of those 2 so I could park there. Guy in the car essentially said I didn’t need to park there and he deserved it because he was a vet. He then pointed out some parking spots close by and told me to park there. I said I was already parked, out of my car and well within my right to park in a spot designated for both of us, and it wasn’t my fault I got to it first. I gestured to the parking spots he did and said he could park there, and walked around his car to enter the store. As I was walking in, a guy who heard the interaction told me I should have just moved and that he fought for our country, I could have given up the spot, and when I walked by the man from the car he said I was very rude.
I called my mom on the way home from the grocery store to tell her about the weird experience, and she agreed that I should have just moved, and now I kind of feel like a dick.
AITA? ###### | NTA - If it was for both pregnant people and vets, you could park there. You got there first, so you got the space. He can deal. ###### |
Long story short: My former roommate and I had a lot of issues. We're friends, but by the end of living together, I almost couldn't stand her. She expected me to be her mom - I bought all the groceries, cleaned, etc. She only paid 1/3 of the rent, and she has the maturity of a teenager.
Living with her was detrimental to my mental/emotional health, my relationship, and my finances. She moved back in with her parents when the lease was up. I remained at the same apartment.
She's been begging me for the last few weeks to let her move back in because her situation at home isn't great. I've said no.
Today, I found out that she's living in her car, and I feel like an AH but I also don't want her to move back in. ###### | NTA - if it didn't work the first time, it's not going to work the 2nd time either. Her current living situation is unfortunate, but it's her problem to solve. ###### |
OK so back in August I got into a car accident. A woman ran a red light and hit the side of my car.
I went through the whole insurance claim process and she ended up denying fault. This cost me a lot of money to fix my own car as my insurance fought my claim.
Anyway, back to now. I got the news I won! The money was payed back but obviously I lost some money as a result.
I was talking with my dad whether or not we should sue, (which I wasn’t planning on) however my dad brought up that she probably already lost her license since she was already 80 years old at the time of the accident and this probably was the reason she fought so hard to deny fault.
Now I just feel bad. On one hand, the whole “she was 100% at fault and if she needed to lose her license because she was incompetent then she should”
But am I the asshole? At the end of the day I may have caused someone to lose their license??? It could’ve been an honest mistake. ###### | NTA - if it bothers you that she probably lost her licence, would it bother you if you didn't do anything and she then hit a child and killed them?
It would be the same as not reporting a drunk driver, just because they personally think they are good to drive doesn't make it the truth. ###### |
My best friend is getting married at the end of summer and he wants to do a haka to celebrate as a part of the ceremony. I am not Polynesian, Maori, Samoan, Tongan, Australian, Kiwi, etc, etc and my friend isn’t either. We said that if we did DNA tests and if either of us turned up anything from that area, we’d do it, but we both came up without anything there. AITA for this or am I being sensitive or too PC?
Edit: Neither bride or groom have heritage from there. ###### | NTA - If I were asked to do a ceremonial dance from a culture that has nothing to do with me? I would decline, even if I thought it would be fun/cool.
I wouldn't feel good or comfortable, and would definitely feel like I was appropriating someone's culture.
Why do you think your friend is so dead-set on doing a Haka, though? Is it just something he's really interested in or admires? ###### |
Alright, so my younger brother is 8, and is still unable to wipe his ass, and my parents don't see it as a problem. My mom went to the store earlier, and my dad was at work. My younger brother calls for me and says he took a shit. I called my mom asking what I should do, and she told me to try to help him, if not do it for him. I really feel uncomfortable touching my brother anywhere down there, or even looking at his privates, so me and my other brothers tried to coach him on how to do it. I might get in trouble if he gets a shit stain in his underwear, too. I've previously gotten into some heat with my dad about this too, as he wanted me to wipe him once, and I refused.
WIBTA for feeling uncomfortable and trying to avoid wiping my elementary aged brother's ass when my parents can't?
EDIT: For those of you asking, my brother has no disabilities, although there has been a rumor here and there about him being really high functioning on the autism spectrum ###### | NTA - If he's 8 and physically able to do so he should be able to wipe himself. If he's not able to do so, your parents should make no expectations of you being his caretaker at 15 years old. ###### |
My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter. He is only just getting comfortable enough to change her wee diapers without me supervising/helping now, and when he was changing her last night he saw she had pooped and called me in to change her because 'I've done it before but this one is bad'. It wasn't bad, two wipes and she was clean. Just smelled a bit worse than usual since she started teething.
Tonight he was holding her after work and she started to poop. As soon as she was done he handed her to me. I sighed and said "another shitty diaper to change" while walking to the change table. He snapped back with 'I don't say that every time I have to pay the rent, or bills'.
Granted, he does pay the rent. I pay half, if not all of the utility bills depending on my income (I'm mostly a stay at home mom, but also have a house cleaner gig once or twice a month).
It upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it. I should know, she has been pooping twice as much since she started teething. He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?
When I tried to bring it up with him, he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and again brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.
He wants another child. I don't want to have another if I am going to be stuck wiping another ass for however many years.
I feel it's assholeish to compare paying rent to providing basic care for your child, but am I wrong? AITA? ###### | NTA - If he wants another child he needs to commit taking care of the first one first. ###### |
So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for
about 5 1/2 months, and I quit martial arts
because I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its "dangerous" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before.
He says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again. But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself.
I told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a "horrible boyfriend" and makes me not do the things I like.
Even though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with.
I don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA?
also sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ###### | NTA - if he starts being controlling about your sport choices after 5 months of relationship he might keep on that path which is a no go. Good that you stood on your grounds! ###### |
Throwaway account as my Family knows my Main.
My sister and I are around the same age. I (25F) and she (22) never really got along. From a young age it was clear that she was the favorite child. She got everything she asked for and more. I think it made her entitled and spoiled.
I am currently going to college, and live on my own in a small 2 room apartment. I won some money a while back and work besides studying, so I am pretty well of. I am not home most of time.
My sister and her kid still live with our parents. She doesn't go to work since she's a single mom. Now she decided she wants to go back to college ( which I genuinely support) in th ecity I live. It's a 5 hour drive from our parents hometown. She doesn't want to go to work, and does not want to hire a babysitter. The Father of the Child is still in the picture and offered to take my niece in. My sister refused and said she didn't want to be separated from her child.
Without ever asking me, my parents and sister decided that my sister and niece would move in with me, and I would cover all costs on my own. She is already enrolled in class. They also decided she and her kid would move into my bedroom and I would sleep on the couch. I was also supposed to watch my niece. I said no. My apartment is really small and even though I am well of, I can't comfortably support my sister and niece financially.
My parents, grandparents and other relatives all called me and screamed at me for not supporting my sister and niece. My sister is already enrolled in class. Cancelling would cost a lot of money. My parents want me to pay it, since I am the reason she can't attend classes. Since then, I muted my phone and cut off all contact from my Family. I talked with my Friends and they all called my the Asshole for not supporting my sister. Am I really TA? ###### | NTA - If everyone is calling and screaming at you, they could easily just chip in their money to support her themselves. Not your responsibility. Don't give her a key and the problem is solved... sorta. ###### |
I’m a 27 year old Asian guy. Half my friends are other Asian guys. My girlfriend is a 25 year old white girl.
Recently, due to intense work stress, I’ve decided to seek counseling. I believe it would help me handle the streets a lot.
I told my girlfriend this, and she was nice enough to find me a list of people she believed could help; however, I already had someone in mind (an Asian guy) recommended from a friend.
Many of the issues I’ve faced stem from being Asian. For example, I’ve faced racism as a child. More recently, I’ve been forced to eliminate White/Asian guys from an internship applicant pool due to not qualifying for diversity quotas (programs where only certain minorities and women can apply to) despite being extremely highly qualified, and people that have taken the effort to network with me while most of the diversity applicants haven’t (this isn’t to insulate that diversity candidates are necessarily less qualified, just that since the program is diversity focused, the non diversity kids that choose apply are typically high caliber non-diversity kids). There are also other Asian related issues I’d want to talk about but won’t here so as to not cause a shitstorm.
All this has led to a lot of stress from office politics that I just want to get off my chest. The problem has arisen in that when I told my girlfriend that, she said I was being racist and/or sexist for only wanting an Asian guy as a counselor. ###### | NTA - I’m white and my husband is Japanese. We were having some problems in our marriage and needed to find a counselor, and it was absolutely critical to him that that counselor be Japanese. He wanted someone who could understand his culture and frame of reference without having to explain too much. And I totally respected that, because I wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible through the process, otherwise what’s the point? For example, one little problem I brought up was how he never flirted with me anymore but I witnessed exchanges between him and female friends that came across as flirty. Our counselor pinpointed the problem exactly as cultural, meaning she knew that was a common behavior for married Japanese men (flirting with your own spouse is seen as awkward) but she explained to him that I, however, am not Japanese and he needed to be more affectionate towards me because I needed that. He really appreciated that she knew where he was coming from, even though ultimately she recommended him changing.
Anyway, your girlfriend needs to understand that having that deep commonality is really important for some people to be able to open up 100% in therapy/counseling. ###### |
I (18F) sometimes like to lounge around in my house with no bra on if I know I won't be going out anywhere for the day. I actually don't mind wearing bras because I'm small enough to where it doesn't really matter either way, but sometimes I just don't feel like putting one on.
My living room faces the street and has a giant window smack dab in the middle of it, and I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Standard faire. Obviously, you can see me from the window, but it's never been an issue until now.
My neighbor, a middle-aged woman who I've barely ever interacted with, knocks on my door, and when I answer it, she starts berating me that young children live in the neighborhood and that me not wearing a bra is perverted.
Apparently, she had been walking past my house and she saw me stand up to get a snack and noticed my boobs were "flying free" which makes no sense to me because I'm a B cup but okay.
I told her I'd do whatever I want in my own house but now I'm starting to feel like maybe that was wrong of me to do. I'm mostly weirded out that she was looking at me so hard that she noticed I'm not wearing a bra, lol. AITA? ###### | NTA - I’m sorry but this is SO FUNNY! SHES the perv here. You’re in your fkn home ffs xD Tell her to stop being a Nosey Nancy and enjoy her walks.
(I really thought this was gonna be a case of a gross male relative, thank god it wasn’t!) ###### |
I have a five year old daughter named Colette. Ever since she was born my mil called my daughter "letters" as a nickname (because Colette ends in lette i'm guessing). It's not the greatest nickname in the world but I let it go.
The other day, my daughter randomly said: Why does grandma call me "letters". My name is Colette.
I told her: It's her nickname for you.
Colette: that's weird
me:Do you not like being called "letters"
Colette: not really
me:it's ok to tell grandma that you want to be called Colette instead of letters.
Colette went to my MIL's house today. My husband dropped her off and picked her up so I didn't see my MIL at all that day.
That night I get a call from my MIL. She tells me that it was really rude for Colette to say she didn't like her nick name. And that I shouldn't have told her to say that. She said I was raising her to be bratty. She also said that Colette couldn't come over until she apologized and says that she likes being called letters.
That last part pissed me off. I told her "what the fuck? You're banning a 5 year old from your house for not liking a stupid nick name. Then I hung up on her.
Aita for using that kind of language with my mil. ###### | NTA - I’m honestly just sort of in disbelief your MIL could be old enough to be a grandma and act like that. ###### |
AITA for wanting to retake my wedding photos?
Last summer I got married. My cousin is a photographer who lives in a different part of the country and she flew in to take the photos for my big day. There was never any discussion of it costing money, that it would be a family thing. She even stayed at my house while she was here. Family came from all over the country as we are quite a large family and it is rare to see us all in one place. She got tons of photos and she gave us a few of the ones that were took. Everything seems normal, until months go by and she still hasn’t sent over the rest of the photos. I’ve messaged her numerous times for her to send the wedding photos to me. Sometimes she responds, other times she doesn’t and just likes the message. I’ve offered to pay her money for the photos which she has declined to accept. I’m not sure what the issue is on her part at this point. It’s been a year and I still only have the handful of photos she sent over the day of the wedding.
I am considering hiring a photographer and getting some wedding photos taken again so I can have some to frame in my house. My only issue is I only have so many photos taken with my family and I’m disappointed because they won’t be the same as the ones taken on the wedding day. It will be impossible to recreate the photos we took when we were getting ready and leading up the whole day. I’m going to now have to get photos retaken and then when I post them on social media which then she’ll know I got them retaken. I feel like these wedding photos have driven a wedge in our family. ###### | NTA - I'm half wondering if she maybe lost them somehow or the files got corrupted (both are unfortunately things that could happen). At this point I would try asking if something happened to the photos and say you would rather just know and proceed with the retakes then be kept in the dark. And if its not then say you need an explanation on why you still don't have them ###### |
So this happened a while back but a conversation with a teacher made me overthink it.
I coached gymnastics. My last name is my fathers, and I'm not in contact with him due to mental abuse. I don't like my last name. So let's same my name was Lexy Smith. I introduced myself to the kids as mrs. Lexy.
I did this in all my classes, also those where I was an assistant. One day after assisting a preteam class (ages 5 to 8), the main teacher and I were cleaning up and she told me she would prefer if I would go by mrs. Smith because the kids were now calling her by her first name too. I refused since hearing my last name reminds me of the past and while I'm coaching I want to have fun. I get these kids are little, but surely they can call us by the names we prefer? She said she was older so I should just do what she says.
This was just before summer break and this specific class didn't fit in my new school schedule but in my other classes I kept up mrs. Lexy and nobody ever had a problem with it again.
But AITA for using my first name when kids adress me? ###### | NTA - I'm a teacher myself and in my opinion it's your name and your authority and relationship with the kids. You get to choose what you want them to call you. Unless a school/gym has specifc policies about how they address you, who cares. Even then a part of me feels like ultimately it's your choice. ###### |
My cousin's birthday is coming up and she had asked me about a week ago if I'd be willing to to draw her OC's (orginal characters) for her instead of getting her a present. I normally never agree to do free work for people, because it can very quickly snowball out of control if someone heard I was doing free work, but since she's my family and it's her birthday I agreed to do it. However, once she sent me the details of what she wanted I very quickly backed out.
Without going into too much detail she wanted some NSFW (not safe for work) art of her OC's doing some very NSFW things to each other. I let her know that I don't do NSFW stuff, but would still be willing to draw her characters as long as we kept things PG-13. No judgement or anything like that, just letting her know that I wasn't comfortable with doing NSFW stuff. She didn't take it well and this led into several days worth of angry texts and phone calls between the two of us that eventually culminated in me telling her to find someone else to take the commission and her writing a melodramatic rant on her Facebook and Instagram about how I was slut shaming and kink shaming her.
AITA? ###### | NTA - I wouldn’t call up a wedding photographer and ask him to shoot my porn video. Context matters in art. And you get to pick what you draw. ###### |
I’m gonna be honest, I’m already pretty sure I’m nta, but I want a different view, my older brother is a very entitled 18 yr old, and a couple times he has barged into my room without knocking, it started a couple years ago when I just got my phone and would stay up too late on it, it would mess with his internet connection to play games so he would try to catch me on it by barging into my room, he didn’t get into trouble for it then bc technically I shouldn’t of been on my phone, but after all of that he would just bathe in to my room for whatever, I would get mad and tell our parents, they’d say if he did again they’d take away his Xbox, and then he’d stop, and then do it again like a month later. Apparently it’d be too long since the first time so they would just tell him not to do it again, there’s even been times where I just wouldn’t say anything to my parents trying to be reasonable, just for him to do it again. He’s gone into full blown arguments about why he shouldn’t have to knock in his house and I’m a brat, he’s totally untrustworthy and would get me in trouble for anything possible, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable expectation since I’m 15 F
TLDR: my older brother thinks he shouldn’t have to knock on my door, I strongly disagree
Aita ###### | NTA - i would just start sitting around naked oersonally but i am petty ###### |
So I (15f) was playing the sims today when my younger brother (8m) came into the room. Since it’s pride month in a few days I was looking at the pride flags that they have in sims to find one for my sim. My brother starts asking what these flags are so I explain to him about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders and other sexualities and genders. I don’t go too deep into these things as he is young, but I feel like he deserves to understand a bit about these things. He starts naming characters in cartoons he watches that are LGBTQ and then sits talking about these things to me. Then my dad comes in and asks what we were talking about. I explain to him that I was talking to my brother about the LGBTQ community as he was asking what this flag was in a game I was playing. My dad then gets very mad and starts saying that he doesn’t want my brother knowing about these things. At this point I am confused as a few of his friends know about these things and I learnt about them from tv shows and books when I was 8. Later I tell my mom how I’m upset that I won’t be able to go to pride this year and my dad goes very quiet and decides to go outside to eat. After dinner he explains to me that these aren’t appropriate subjects at dinner and that if I mention them again he will take my phone away from me. AITA for explaining LGBTQ to my brother? ###### | NTA - I think your dad is confusing sexual orientation/gender identity with sexual activity. ###### |
So, I’m a bit lost. My family is angry at me and my friends are saying I was in the right.
Due to me being an idiot, I now have a second switch. I thought my first Nintendo switch was broken, but turns out the problem was with my tv. So both work fine. I figured I’d sell my first one and put the money towards paying off my credit card or getting a ps5.
My dad, upon hearing this, immediately suggested I give the switch to my brother. Give. For free. He can’t even afford a game for the console, let alone the console itself. Am I also meant to give up my games to him?
My brother made my teenage years hell. He stole from me, threatened me, he is the reason I moved out 5 years ago and never looked back. I admit, I’m bitter. So very bitter. So when my dad suggested I give him the switch, I laughed and hung up.
Now my family are angry I’m not willing to give up a perfectly functional Nintendo switch, that I’m not using, for free. Apparently i’m being selfish. Am I the asshole? I don’t owe him anything, but I’m really biased about this so I could be wrong. ###### | NTA - I think most people would’ve laughed too! Would definitely recommend paying off your debt first though, PS5 is still a good few months away ###### |
My dad owns a pizza place that was handed down to him from my grandfather.
I've been working at the pizza place my while life, even part time while I got a business degree.
I found out last early last year that my dad had willed the restaurant to my stepmom. His reasoning being she needs to be taken care of after he dies. And that it would go to me after she died.
I was pissed and "quit" the next day. My dad ended up hiring two people to make up the work I was doing.
Now this is the potential asshole part. A month after I quit, I found a great location where another pizza place had shut down. I bought it and had it up and running in two months. My restaurant is take out only, but my business is doing extremely well.
My dad reached out to me last September and said that his restaurant was losing business because of me and to please come back to the family business. He offered to buy my business so I would get something out of it.
I declined the offer. Now the craziness of 2020 happened and because my restaurant was already setup for takeout, I'm only seeing a 5-10% drop in revenue.
The family restaurant however, is going under.
Now there's a whole lot of arguing about me causing my dad's family to become financially ruined.
AITA? ###### | NTA - I saw in one of your comments that you don’t get along with your step mom and she has children of her own. Let’s be realistic, she would probably leave the business to them and not you. You needed to take control of your life and it’s good you have your own business now. Your fathers restaurant isn’t failing because of you, it’s because he can’t adapt. ###### |
My father left when I was very young and I was raised primarily by my mother, she died a few years ago and I've had no interest in ever getting in contact with my father. My GF has always wanted me to get in contact with him because she thinks she's some sort of therapist and all my "issues" come from a lack of a father figure.
Without checking with me she tracked him down, told him I want to get in contact and then gave him my number. He called me and I told him to piss off and blocked his number after he told me how he got his number.
We got into a massive argument where I said she had no right to meddle in my life, called her a cunt and hung up. I have no intention of speaking to her until we're allowed outside again and I'm considering just breaking up over this.
Her friend texted me to tell me how upset my GF is and that I'm a horrible person so doing this to her. ###### | NTA - I remember a similar post over a year ago where OP's fiance contacted and invited his estranged family to their wedding. He had cut them off because they were abusive and she decided to bring them into their lives because she wanted to get to know them. He cancelled the wedding and broke up with her immediately.
Edit: sorry guys I can't find the link. I really wanted to read it again. ###### |
I genuinely have no idea what to do here and I feel like I’m in the right and don’t need to back down!!!
I have long, thick, frizzy, wavy hair. When I go to sleep at night I rub coconut oil in it and put it into a French braid. This way my hair is nice in the morning, and when we sleep, my hair does not get in my husband’s face.
When carrying groceries up the stairs to our apartment three weeks ago (we do not take the elevator because of COVID as it can get crowded), I fell. I broke my collar bone, which was very painful. Because of the break, I obviously cannot braid my hair.
My husband complains that my hair gets in his mouth & on his face when he sleeps. It also gets trapped under his head/arm and is painful for me when I try to move. I have asked my husband if he can braid my hair for me so we can both sleep easier. He refuses.
His reasons are:
1- he does not know how (I offered to show him or have him watch YT tutorials)
2- he says it is not manly
3- he says I am a grown woman and can do my own hair. If I am incapable of doing so I should cut it (I cannot go to a salon bc of COVID).
This turned into a huge fight, I told him it feels like he does not care about me. He says I am being dramatic. I told him until he agrees to braid my hair, I will sleep on the couch, which he says is being petty. I feel so angry and uncared for, but yes maybe I am being petty?
So Reddit. Am I the asshole?
TLDR: broke my collarbone and cannot reach up to braid my hair at night like I usually do. My hair gets in my husband’s face and bothers him. He refuses to braid my hair. ###### | NTA - I mean it's only for a few weeks anyway. Not manly? What sort of bullshit is that? You know what's not "manly"? Not stepping up to help your injured wife when she can't do something herself.
Edit: Thanks for the award! My first one. ###### |
So she’s been learning to play video games, she’s not that bad but obviously is nowhere near as good as the maniacs who play online. So I said if she plays while my PSN is logged in I’d prefer if she plays offline or against the computer. And if she absolutely has to then please not on FIFA because I don’t want to get demoted. Idk if she watches porn on it or does whatever but that’s the only thing I care about and that’s my conditions if she plays on my console, is not to ruin my online profiles. She accepted these terms which I thought was fair. But I came home from work and nabbed her playing FIFA on my account. I had spent soooooooo much time getting to Division 1 and winning the title. Blood sweat and tears. And she got demoted all the way to division 4. For anyone who doesn’t know that means you’d have to lose at least 20ish games in a row, usually I just stop playing when I’ve lost 4 games in a row bc that mans I’m tilted You guys might think it’s ridiculous and I should get a life but I really care about that garbage game lol. But I told her that look I asked you to do only one thing and you still violated my trust so I said that for the time being I’m not at all comfortable with her playing on my console. She said she’s sorry (in fairness to her this is very mature) and I said I appreciate it for apologizing but I just need to regain trust in you before I want to let this be a thing again. I offered to contribute 75% of the costs of buying a console just for herself but she declined as she says she doesn’t see herself playing much and she wishes she could play on my console again. Just now I overheard her on the phone to her sister and she says that she thinks I’m being unnecessarily harsh and a tad bit controlling and I’m going overboard. I’m just not comfortable with it. AITA? ###### | NTA - I mean I don’t understand why you just didn’t... create an account for her in the first place... but anyway, you explained it to her and she said she understood and wouldn’t do it. Yet she still did it. You aren’t wrong here, even if it may seem childish to most people. ###### |
So I have a large collection of books that I often reread. I love them all very much. My favourite series is noughts and crosses books. My parents often make me lend books to people I barely know and sometimes the people take ages to return it and if they do, its often a bit damaged. The other day my parents asked me to lend the noughts and crosses to someone (we’ll call this someone J). J is quite nice but she has a brother who likes to play football with almost any object in their house, and I was not going to let him do that to my book. I said No. My parents totally blew up at me. They said I was selfish. I told them I wasn’t going to lend my favourite book series to someone else because I love them and I don’t trust other people with them. My parents are now angry at me and I’m angry at them, but I’m starting to think that maybe I was being a bit selfish. So AITA? ###### | NTA - I love lending books to people but I also have some books I won't lend because I'm worried about not getting them back. They are your property, you don't have to lend them if you don't want to. ###### |
This sounds like a dick move, but hear me out. My younger brother (12) has been playing Fortnite continuously every day for this entire “break”. He recently lost his Xbox power cord to our dad for not doing the dishes and other chores that were not completed, but he still has his phone. Because he isn’t downstairs playing Xbox, he is playing Fortnite videos on YouTube at stupid high volume level. He will sit in my room and watch them, and I’ve asked him multiple times to turn it down, as I’m also trying to play my Xbox with some friends, and need to be able to hear them. He largely ignores me and says “it’s not that loud”. For context, I’m also a weeb, and enjoy a variety of Sub and Dub anime. And I thought that if he won’t turn his volume down, I won’t either. He is not a fan of anime at all, and has asked me in the past to not watch it near him because he “thinks the voices are too high pitched and creepy.” So I thought when we eat lunch (my dad is working right now and we are home alone) I can turn my sub anime to the max, and make him understand that it’s rude to do things like this. ###### | NTA - I know you said your door doesn't have a lock but would your dad be opposed to using a door stop (a small wedge shaped piece of rubber or wood pushed tight under your door) to keep your brother out? It's your room and he has no business in there unless you invite him in. ###### |
When my wife was younger she lived off takeaways or she didn't eat, her dad would buy her 2litre bottles of coke when she was 6+ so she never really had that healthy relationship with food, she also never got to leave the house unless it was for school.
She is obsessed with eating healthy and exercising, this became worse when we had children (13F,11F,4M)
The children love exercise and that's great, our eldest is in football and track and our other daughter is in gymnastics and ballet.
My wife loves making them eat healthy too, their breakfast this morning was a spinach and tuna wrap with a fruit salad on side
Their lunch is going to be Shaved Carrot and Radish Salad.
They're allowed one cheat snack a week but the rest of the time they're only allowed fruit or vegetables and that's great but they should be allowed stuff like biscuits in my opinion.
This is where the problem has started, I'm a little frustrated at the food because let them be kids and stop taking your own issues out on them, then while they're playing video games in the study she comes in trying to get our eldest to come out and play football in the garden with her and the youngest.
Her; hey *eldest* come play football with me and your brother? Better than sitting around all day and not being productive!
Me; babe, kids are allowed to have some lazy days it's fine!
Her; no it isn't! They should be out exercising, getting fresh air, NOT getting eye strain on the console
(Their screen time used to be 2hrs a week on xbox)
I may have snapped and told her to leave the children alone.
She got all teary eyed and we haven't spoken since.
I thought I was in the right but after speaking to my sister she says I was the AH
AITA? ###### | NTA - I hate this mindset that you need to be productive at all hours. Even the world's geniuses had downtime. Schopenhauer used to go on walks with his poodle. People need relaxation and this capitalist bull of "always be working" can lead to so many complexes and contribute to mental illness. Sounds like your wife is on a good road to fuck your kids up in a different direction, you guys need to talk it out, maybe with the help of a therapist.
Edit to add: shaved carrots isn't lunch for growing kids. I say this as a salad loving vegan. They need more carbs. ###### |
I just gave birth to my daughter. Of course my MIL is crazy over the top, over the moon. She wants to come over all the time to see the baby. I’m ok with that. I really am. I can use some company and advise. My only request is that she please call me first ahead of time. Call me so I can change out of my sloppy baby puked on clothes or put the dogs in another room so they don’t overwhelm her or just for the simple fact that I am not a big fan of surprises. Anyway instead of respecting my wishes she tells the entire family that I’m a snob who doesn’t want her to visit even though I explained she’s always welcome and I would never say no just please call me ahead of time. Now I’m getting snarky remarks from family members. Am I being unreasonable? ###### | NTA - I hate surprise visits! It never fails that there is some kind of mess or I look awful. Everything in the house will look perfect until that one surprise visit. ###### |
I'm sitting at my computer working when my wife asks me to come help her in the yard. No problem, my eyes could use a break anyway. I go and move the planter she needed moved and get back to work.
5 minutes later she asks me to move it back. Fine, whatever.
Every time I get back to my desk it's something new. The dog needs water and her hands are dirty, can you bring me my gloves, will you hang those curtain rods, the list goes on.
After about 45 minutes she notices my agitation.
Wife: Is everything ok? You seem irritated.
Me: I am irritated, because you're irritating me.
Wife: I don't deserve to be talked to like that.
Me: Well I don't deserve to be interrupted every 5 minutes while I'm trying to work. I've read the first paragraph of this management plan 6 times in the last 45 minutes because you constantly need something. You're an independent woman, figure it out.
Wife: You're an asshole.
So? Am I? ###### | NTA - I hate being interrupted while I'm trying to work. If I start a task and get distracted I have to start all over again. You're good! ###### |
I give my daughter a lot of compliments. Great writer, very funny, selfless, smart, great artist, etc. I'll also tell her she is beautiful every now and then. My daughter is 16.
She had recenly gotten some new clothes shipped to our house. She changed into her new clothes and I told her she looked beautiful. She thanked me and gave me a hug.
Later my wife berated me for calling her beautiful and noted she had heard me call her beautiful before. She says it will make her worry too much about her looks and her fashion. She said its sexist. She said this might reinforce her into thinking buying new clothes is how she will get compliments/be beautiful. We are still arguing about this. Am I the crazy one?? Am I the asshole?? ###### | NTA - I get what your wife was on about but as long as you also compliment her about other things that aren't appearance-related (which it sounds like you do) there's nothing wrong with saying someone looks beautiful when they're showing off new clothes. ###### |
AITA?
So first some background... I’m a short woman (5’2” ish) and my husband is pretty tall (about 6’3”) so when we go out together he usually asks me to wear heels which I don’t really mind depending on where we are going/ what we are doing.
So anyway, one day we are going to the mall and it’s early fall so I put on my only pair of ankle boots with a heel and off we go. My husband and I are chatting in the car and everything is fine and then we reach the mall. My husband has parked the car and we get out and make our way inside the mall. We’re walking through the first store when I see my husband’s whole demeanour change and as I’m trying to talk to him he is obviously not in a good mood. So of course I ask him what’s wrong and he snaps at me that my boots are “making too much noise when I walk”. I kinda laugh this off and jokingly ask if he’d prefer me to walk around bare foot to which he says I should go back to the car and change into the Wellington boots that I keep in the trunk. He’s actually serious but the boots are filthy, caked in mud and it’s just not something I really want to do. So I explain that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that and I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear dirty boots around the mall and he is really mad. He makes us leave before we’ve even done any of the shopping that we went there for and proceeds to use the entire journey home to make me feel terrible for not changing the boots. AITA for not just changing them? He won’t explain why it was such an issue but it obviously upset him so maybe I was in the wrong? ###### | NTA - I feel like this is too blatantly obvious that he's the asshole here to be real but meh, I'll give a judgement anyways. Your husband is insecure, rude, and controlling not to mention ridiculous. You should wear whatever the fuck you want to wear which you feel comfortable in. ###### |
As if I wasn’t already the black sheep of the family!
I don’t know the deal with my parents generation and their proclivity to lying about our family tree, but I was raised being lied to until my real genetic father was dead, so I never got to meet him. Instead I was lead to believe that my sisters dad was also mine. The truth came out as it often does, and a lot of things finally made sense.
Fast forward 20 years until I’m 32 years old, and just before my sisters dad dies, he revealed to me that my cousins (35F) real dad was his best friend in high school, and her real mom was his other sister. The younger sister gave the older one her baby and they let her believe that her aunt was her mom and vise-versa.
Now, he of all people had a solid understanding that I would relate deeply, and he had to know I wouldn’t keep the secret. However I also know he felt bad, because a couple days later, he asked me not to tell.
I told him I wouldn’t take any action until he was gone, but that I would not keep their secret from my cousin.
So, after he passed, I told his sisters that they could come clean, or I would tell my cousin the truth. (reminder that I have no real blood relation to these “aunts”, but they maintained each other’s lies throughout mine and my “cousins” childhood.)
They were argumentative, so I told my cousin.
Of course now my “aunts” hate me. However, my cousin got to meet her real father, and a half brother as a result.
Somebody I respect recently scolded me and said I was in the wrong, because it’s “none of my business” but I’m having a hard time seeing it that way.
AITA, and if so, why? ###### | NTA - I feel like a lot of people posting that you’re the asshole have never had to deal with anything similar. Depriving someone of knowing their biological family is really fucked up, and can lead to identity issues later on. You have your aunts time to tell her themselves, and it appears you have your cousin’s best interest at heart. A lot of people claim that it wasn’t your place, and although that’s technically true, it’s your aunts fault for lying in the first place. How old was your cousin when you told them? ###### |
So this just happened last week and I want to know if I am the AH.
Me (22F) and my friend (23f) decided we wanted to lose weight we both decided to just naturally bring in healthy alternatives to our diet and exercise and we both tried fad diets and failed every time.
We started this around the new year and I’ve continued to make sure to do the little things and ended up going down from an obese bmi to a overweight bmi, I know there is more work to do but I’m pretty happy with my results and showed off to Instagram.
So here is why I might be the AH:
My friend hasn’t been doing as well with her weight loss through no fault of her own, I did know this and have been trying to help her with things I’ve found work for me. I suggested maybe seeing a doctor as she really cannot shift the weight and I do wonder if it may be medical related, she got defensive about needing a doctor so I left it at that.
Then came the photo. As I said I posted my results to Instagram and she calls me crying saying I know how hard it is for her and I shouldn’t be flaunting my success in her face. I just wanted to show off how proud I am but now I feel like an AH because I did have it in the back of my mind that she may get upset.
So reddit AITA for posting my progress picture even though I knew my friends weight struggles? ###### | NTA - I feel bad for her but you worked hard and if you made progress you deserve to show it off. It's not like you're shoving it in her face and posting with the sole intent of making her feel bad ###### |
Ever since I was a kid, I have watched TV shows and movies with subtitles on. I don’t have any problems with my hearing at all, but without them I have a really hard time processing the dialogue. It’s really hard to explain. It’s just that when the dialogue is separated out from the rest of the noise and everything in the movie, I can understand everything that’s going on, so I really prefer it. My brother and other family members don’t love the subtitles.
Yesterday we were all going to sit down and watch a movie. It was a loud action movie. I requested that they put on the subtitles, that I’d really enjoy the movie more if they turned it on. My brother turned to me and said, I was being selfish, the subtitles ruin the movie for everyone else, and I don’t have any hearing problems so I should just sit down and shut up. I said I wasn’t trying to make waves I just really would understand the movie better if they turned them on. He again called me selfish, said that the subtitles are distracting and no “real director” wants them to be in a movie unless someone absolutely needs them to understand it. I was really upset at this point and he said, “I’m just sick of your shit, why don’t you just go to your room and everyone else can watch the movie?” Nobody, not even my parents, said anything at all, so they must have been really annoyed too. So I went upstairs and just heard them watching the movie and laughing and having fun.
AITA for requesting the subtitles? Nobody said anything so I think maybe I was being selfish...I don’t know. What do you guys think? ###### | NTA - I enjoy watching movies with subtitles too and I have no hearing issues. It's the same as you, it helps me understand the movie much better. There are movies I've seen in the cinema that I enjoy much better when I watch them again at home because when I watch them again I have subtitles and I can follow things much easier. Your brother is definitely the asshole for the way he reacted and spoke to you. ###### |
A few months ago I found a pair of Birkenstock’s at a thrift store. The exact style and size I wanted, perfect condition, for $17. I couldn’t believe it! I have been searching for some for years. I lent them to my sister so she could wear them to the beach yesterday. She comes in the house barefoot and I don’t think much of it, they’re probably in her car or bag. I ask her later that night for them as I was heading out and she realizes she forgot them at the beach. She said they started to hurt her feet so she opted to go barefoot and must have left them on accident. She goes back to check but they were no where to be found. I’m upset, of course, but she didn’t mean it on purpose. They’re shoes and can be replaced. These shoes are $100 new. I told her she could give me money, or she could buy a new pair herself. She said it wasn’t fair that I only paid $17 and she’d have to pay so much more. The ones she lost were real leather, and I wanted her to buy the vegan leather as a replacement, as I don’t buy new leather. This is already saving her 30 to 40 bucks. I told her I’d be fine with a second hand pair in good condition, and told her of a few websites were she could find some. Even those were around $50-60 dollars and she didn’t want to pay it. I loved those sandals and barely even got a chance to wear them because it was still cold when I found them. AITA for making her pay for new sandals? ###### | NTA - I don't understand how anyone can be so forgetful as to leave shoes at a beach. Especially shoes she was borrowing. She owes you a new pair, plain and simple. It doesn't matter what you paid for them, they were your property. You've made suggestions and have even tried to keep reasonable pricing in mind. You're willing to accept second hand ones if the quality is there.
When you break, damage or lose someone else's property you have a responsibility to make it right as best you can. It sounds like she can, she has the means, she just doesn't want to. ###### |
For context: I am a 16 year old female, and I have very religious parents.
Since I was around 9, I started to become very, very uncomfortable when anyone touched me. Sometimes I thought that person might have a lot of germs, while other times it was because I would just get this heavy feeling in my chest and my brain screaming at me that I was uncomfortable and wanted to get away. Now, I live in an area where many, many people like to hug, even if they don't know you. A lot of people will ask my parents: "Wow, is your child ok? She's so rude she pushed me away when I tried to hug her," and they'll just respond with an "I know, right?" Hugging is honestly worse for me, because it feels like I can't get out, and I suddenly get very very anxious, and start trying to force my way out.
Well, this morning, I woke up feeling particularly tired, and walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I wasn't in the best state of mind, since I stayed up until around 6am and woke up at 10. Suddenly, I feel my dad touch me, and I start telling him as nicely as I could to get off me, but he wouldn't, resulting in me basically screaming at him to get off me.
He and my mother suddenly got very, very angry and told me that I was being horribly rude for not accepting their affection. They even brought up this one time I made my Grandmother on my dad's side cry because I didn't want her to kiss me/hug me when we left her house. They proceeded to be mad at me for a while, even passing passive aggressive comments on facebook, that would say something along the lines of "Wow, just wanted a bit of affection, but you know our daughter lol."
I know that they grew up in houses that really liked physical affection, but I really, really don't like it. Sometimes, I'm feeling like I'm neglecting them, but at the same time, I just want my space. AITA? ###### | NTA - I don't know the medical term forvthis, but there are lots of people who really have an aversion for being touched! I think you should look into it more or maybe ask your doctor. This isn't about you being a rude person, you have some sort of condition ###### |
My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ###### | NTA - I don't care if he's uncanceled it, if you are sick, you shouldn't go ###### |
Here’s my situation: My wife (23f) and I (22m) had been trying for a baby for about a year and were having no luck.
One day my wife decides that it was a perfect time to tell me that she was infertile, this made me angry. We had been trying for almost no reason at all and all this disappointment was for absolutely no reason.
I yelled at her, which in hindsight was not a good decision. We apologized both apologized and I told her I was sorry and I shouldn’t have yelled at her.
The next morning she was in a happier mood than usual. I asked her about it and she explained this grand plan to fake her pregnancy. I told her it didn’t sound like a good idea. She got super defensive and angry and said that I shouldn’t take away the opportunity for here to feel like she has a child of her own.
I tried to explain that she would be messing with the emotions of others and it wouldn’t be fair to our family but she wouldn’t budge. We didn’t talk about it for around a month until a large package came in the mail, she was on an office retreat so I opened it ( we often open each others mail so this wasn’t abnormal )
I was shocked by what was inside, there were 9 silicon baby bellies and 4 silicon baby dolls. I thought it might have been a mistake and so I waited for her to get back.
When I confronted her about it she got SUPER angry she said that I am a selfish prick and I should mind my own ducking business. Obviously I was upset. later that night I was getting ready for bed when she kicked me out. This was my house she moved in to it and didn’t make any payments for it. What right did she have to kick me out of MY house.
I just went to a friends because I didn’t want to deal with the argument. When I got back I begged her to return the stuff and not pretend like she was pregnant. She got angry and threatened divorce.
This is where we are at now AITA? ###### | NTA - I do not think your wife is very well. ###### |
My son is a 3rd grade elementary student going on his 4th week of online classroom due to the covids. Today my wife received a call from the principal saying another parent called reported that my son was a distraction because he was spinning in his chair. I find it creepy that another parent would be watching all the students videos. My son has been doing very good adapting and he has been staying on task with his scheduled daily assignments and online meeting times. I called the teacher after work and the teacher said what my son did was not a big deal. I want to call the principal tomorrow to complain about the parent. ###### | NTA - I cannot believe the principal called you. Is this really the best use of the principal’s time? Ridiculous. ###### |
I'm 21M, and got a really good job a few months before lockdown, around the same time we both got a puppy together. I've been busy with work through lockdown, whereas my partner deffered study because A. she hates her degree anyway and B. she can't study online.
I've been arguably busier than ever, whereas she's been left to her own devices a lot more recently. Lately she's been getting upset that I'm not paying enough attention to her/spending enough time with her. We go to the park with our puppy twice a day for 1-2 hours each time, I cook her dinner and we watch a movie together every night. We go to a drive in theatre that's still open once a week, and have an average sex life.
I also start work at 6am every morning to maintain the lifestyle we have, because I was finishing too late most days when I worked 9-5 (I work from home full time.)
I decided to talk to her about this, because I personally feel like I dedicate a lot to our relationship. She basically said that she feels like dead weight around the house and has been putting more effort than ever into our relationship, basically all her focus. I, on the other hand, have been working really hard to have a diverse life of interests. So she's felt that on the evenings when I'm worn out from work, that I'm not giving her enough.
She said that she feels like she has to prove her value to me, to make herself feel like she has value. I told her that no matter how hard she tries to show me that she has value, she's never going to believe me when I tell her that she already has it. The only person that can make her feel like she has value is herself, it's unreasonable to expect that from me and makes me withdraw emotionally because it's stressful.
She spent the afternoon crying and hasn't really talked to me since. She got kind of mad at me for saying it? AITA? Is there an asshole here? I don't know. ###### | NTA - I can't think of a better way for you to have dealt with this, you did the exact right thing. It seems that the truth hurt, but that is not your problem and as you said, she is the only one that can make herself happy. ###### |
Jesus this is very, very weird.
So, for starters I am biracial (23F). African American and Hispanic.
So basically my roommate (24F) and I were talking and chilling together since none of us could go home.
We were talking about our respective partners and shit when she started telling me about her sex life. Normally I love to hear weird or fun stories about sex which people willingly share with me but this one was just really weird.
So apparently my roommate and her boyfriend have this kink called raceplay BDSM. Where my roommate pretends to be a black slave and her boyfriend pretends to be a slave owner. They're both very white.
I felt really uncomfortable when she went into the details and I told her to stop as it seemed very racist to me. I also told her that the kink is making me uncomfortable and told her to not talk about it with me in the future.
She waved off my request and kept reassuring me that it's nothing racist and I shouldn't be "triggered". She didn't stop even after I told her to so I got upset and went back to my room.
She isn't talking to me and it's all very stressful to me in this situation, I want to know if I was in the wrong so I could apologise.
I don't know what to feel about this tbh.
AITA for calling my friend racist for having a certain kink?
Edit: I should add that I try to be a non-judgmental person in most cases and I usually listen to her sex stories without any judgement. I feel bad for alienating her like this, this is why I posted this here. ###### | NTA - I can't even imagine being so broke-brained that I'd bring up my raceplay kink to a biracial person. Or bring it up at all to anyone. ###### |
Throughout our time together, my SO told me that she was allergic to peanuts. I made sure that all of our dishes didn’t contain peanuts, and that I would only eat them outside of the house.
Yesterday, her lie got found out. My parents gave me some Indian food, they’re Indians, I was going to label that the Biryani had peanuts, but I guess I had a brain fart. She began to eat it. I knew something was wrong when I saw her eating it, when I suddenly realized what happened.
I literally tossed her spoon from her hand. I told her that the Biryani has peanuts in it. She just goes “Oh, I’m not allergic to peanuts; I just hate the taste of it”. I was really mad; she was lying about such an important thing. I’ve been unnecessarily taking extra precautions so she doesn’t even breathe in peanut particles. She’s calling me an asshole for being mad at her.
She lied throughout our entire relationship. I don’t know what other things she has lied about. Is her name really Rebecca? Is she really a woman?
But seriously, AITA? ###### | NTA - I can kind of understand the initial lie, because a lot of the time when you say you don't like an ingredient people try to convince you that you'll love it the way they use it. But even if it seemed like a small lie to her, it's something she should have explained as your relationship became more serious.
Also, you went to great lengths to accommodate what you believed to be her allergy and she shouldn't have let that continue. ###### |
Basically I've had suspicions for a while she has been secretly using my perfume. For Christmas my fiancé bought me an £80 bottle of perfume and my dad bought me a £110 designer bottle of perfume (my mum and dad are divorced). When I got these my mum swore that she would not use them because of how expensive they were and that they were mine. She has about 20 bottles of perfume herself but they're all in the cheaper range (£5-£40). Anyway I kept noticing that my perfume boxes have been moving or the perfume inside has changed position. I asked if shes used it and she says no. I decided to hide the perfume and leave the boxes there, if shes not been using them then she won't know they're gone. Since then my mum has been in an absolute pissy with me but won't tell me what's up. I checked the boxes and once again they have moved so I can guess she knows I've hid them. My problem is the fact that she does not spray just a small amount she must use at least 10-15 sprays to just sit downstairs in. If shes going out its 20+. So far since Christmas she has used up 8 full bottles of perfume! She doesn't even ask me if she can use them too she just runs out of the house quickly before I can smell her. I have lots of cheaper and normal priced perfumes which she has bought me in the past but she never uses them, it's always my most expensive ones that she hasn't bought. ###### | NTA - I bought my gf an expensive 100 euros bottle and she barely uses it on special occasions and as little as possible.
She would set fire to the house if someone else would just touch that bottle. I can understand. ###### |
My (30f) husband (33m) loves tennis. I’ve had 2 failed pregnancies, first one was last year (bad heart at 19 wks), second one was yesterday (10 wk embryo stopped developing). So I need to go to the hospital tomorrow afternoon to have the tissue removed. My husband asks if he can play tennis in the morning since it’s a nice day. He will still drive me to the procedure. Context: last time I lost a pregnancy at 19 weeks, he played golf the day after we got the bad news. I’ve since then told him I wish he hadn’t done that and I don’t want him to play tennis this time. My reason? This is crushing for me. This is not/should not be a happy time for us. No he cannot go out and have fun. It’d be like if his granny died and I asked can I go to the spa. Don’t make me suffer alone. So I said no to tennis this time and he still wants to that he asked me again and again. I’m at my wits end. I’m about to have something taken out of my body and am I the asshole for not wanting my husband to go out and enjoy his favorite hobby? ###### | NTA - I bet he’d be disappointed if she went to the spa the day after he had so much as a simple vasectomy, let alone, if he went in for something far more emotionally and physically serious.
“Coping mechanism” isn’t an excuse; if they lost a child or even a step son that was only biologically his, and she elected to “cope” this way, even if to deal with her own grief, *by playing games with her other friends* when her husband was alone at home and desperately needed her support, people wouldn’t be so quick to excuse her behavior.
When a man backs out of supporting his wife through a loss or failed conception, people seem to get far more motivated to seek out and validate his excuses.
There really aren’t even any analogies, that are remotely comparable to what she’s experiencing first hand, which is why he should probably wake up and stop being so selfish... even if avoiding her for his usual frivolities, and games, is just how he “copes” with challenging times. ###### |
My (21F) boyfriend (26M) plays video games until the early hours of the morning most nights. I've suffered from depression for as long as we have been together (2 years), and disruptions to my sleep negatively impact my mental health. I've explained this to my boyfriend and asked him to be quieter when he comes to bed, but nothing has changed.
He is loud when he plays his video games, often yelling and chasing, and when he comes to bed he often wants to cuddle and talk to me (which otherwise would be fine, but not at 2am when I am trying to sleep).
With classes etc being online now, it's important for me to sleep at a reasonable hour and wake up at a reasonable hour (i.e., 10pm to 7-8am), otherwise I will get into the habit of sleeping all day and my mental health always worsens.
WIBTA for asking him to sleep on the couch on nights he wants to stay up really late, rather than inevitably waking me up when he comes to bed? I feel like this might be a bit extreme, but my sleep is very closely tied to my mental health and I have been struggling as a result of being woken up so often. ###### | NTA - I (30/F) sleep like a 80 yr old grandpa. I snore loud as f*ck, especially when stressed or tired. So on days where the husband (30/M) has to go into work at 5AM for IT emergencies, he lets me know and he volunteers to sleep elsewhere or I volunteer to sleep elsewhere the night before. It's respectful and considerate of eachother. ###### |
My friend has recently bought her first house and has asked me to move in with her because she realised she doesn’t like living alone. I won’t be moving in until June/July and in the meantime she has gotten two kittens to keep herself company.
I love animals, and I don’t have an issue with her getting kittens. As far as I’m concerned, it’s her house and she can do what she wants, especially when I’m not even living there yet. My concern is that she has been talking about chores and taking care of the cat food and litter would be on my list of things to do.
I pet sit frequently for other people, and I find cats are always the one animal I don’t particularly love cleaning up after. The general smell of their food and waste doesn’t sit well with me (keep in mind I grew up on an animal farm so I’m not being precious about smells. It’s just cats).
I mentioned this and tried to point out that me moving in wouldn’t automatically make them my pets too. They are her cats and would still be her responsibility. I would be more than happy to help should she need it or step up when she is absent, but I don’t think I should have to worry about them day to day.
My friend is pushing me on the subject, so I just wanted to know where other people stand. AITA? ###### | NTA - How in the world did she think HER cats suddently became YOUR problem. There are plenty of other chores you can do around the house. If she is getting tired of caring for them, she shouldn't have gotten them. It's not fair to push that on you. ###### |
My (19M) friend (20M) likes to bake. He’s made some cakes and other desserts for people and has transported it to peoples’ door step safely throughout the pandemic. Right now, I am living at home with my parents due to the quarantine. He offered to bring me some brownies, and I agreed and thanked him. I also let him know that I am deathly allergic to peanuts, and he told me not to worry.
Later, the brownies are dropped off, and I thank him again. I decide to share them with my family because it was a pretty big pan. My mom ate one, then quickly let me know that it tasted like peanut. I texted my friend and told him what my mom said, just to confirm. He responded by telling me that “he forgot” about my allergy, despite my warning that they could kill me.
I got really angry. I told him that he could have killed me, and I was lucky that I wasn’t the first to eat one. He replied by telling me that it was just a simple misunderstanding, and that my anger was unjustified. I told my parents, and my mom thinks I overreacted, but my dad took my side. My other friends seem pretty divided as well. AITA? ###### | NTA - how could he forget? You told him you could die, a good friend would have made sure it didn't even come close to peanut. ###### |
I (22F) went to visit a friend who needed some help from Thursday morning to Sunday evening. I asked my mom to look after my cat (visit in the evening, feed/give water/scoop litter) while I was gone. I always look after her dog when she's on vacation, so it was fine.
When I came back I found out she had reorganized my kitchen, including the insides of the cabinets. She threw out my 'normal' brush I use to scrub dishes (the one next to the dish soap, on the counter) and dug out my other brush (all the way in the back of the cabinet with cleaning supplies) and had used that to wash her coffee cup thursday to sunday. Apperently she thought it was a back up brush?
Problem is I use that brush for deep cleaning the litter box once a week. She was disgusted (understandably so) when I told her, and wanted me to apologize for not warning her about the brush.
I didn't apologise, she had no reason to go though my cabinets and reorganize my kitchen, she doesn't live here. There was no way she could have used the wrong brush if she didn't insist on snooping.
That was Sunday, we haven't talked very much since then. AITA for not apologising/not telling her? ###### | NTA - how are you going to know what she’s going to do? She should have discussed what she planned so you could have known to warn her. The breakdown of information flow is on her. ###### |
Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her.
I got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ###### | NTA - Honestly, I'm tired of people thinking you have to deal with toxic people just because they're your blood. If she treated you badly in the past, and she isn't a big part of your support system today, she shouldn't feel entitled just because she's your sister. Also, it is your big day, so it's not really about her.
Really, ask yourself if you really want her to be a part of it. If your gut-feeling is no, then you don't have to stand for it. You really don't need to explain why you think so to anyone. It's about you. ###### |
Ok so basically I live with my brothers, the oldest is my legal guardian so when they have girlfriends/partners I usually meet them and get to know them.
A couple of months back, my oldest brother (S) was dating a girl (P) and they were pretty serious until she cheated on him and he broke up with her immediately. Before the breakup P and I got on well, we went shopping together and got coffee- she was always pretty nice to me.
However, after my brother broke up with her I didn’t want to keep spending time with her. Yeah, she was a nice girl, but we weren’t that close and I’m always 100% going to put S’s feelings before P’s. After she suggested just a few weeks ago that we should hang out I blew her off and made up some random excuse, but she was persistent and didn’t stop calling/texting me to try and hang out. It was just weird- we’d hung out maximum three times before.
I finally got fed up and when she called me I told her that she and my brother weren’t together, and I had no interest in being friends with someone over ten years older than I am. She immediately started crying and said that I was like a younger sister to her, and she cared so much about me. I was weirded out and hung up the phone, but she messaged S and basically told him that I had been really mean to her when she was just checking up on me. He didn’t really believe her, but when he told me about it I was mad and I messaged her to say that I was blocking her and she shouldn’t contact me again.
Now I’m wondering if I should’ve been nicer, but she crossed a boundary and that’s not really okay.
What should I do? AITA? ###### | NTA - Hey behavior was very inappropriate. She was breaking boundaries and was probably trying to use you as a way to get back with your brother. ###### |
AITA for telling my friend to see a therapist instead of coming to me with her mental health problems?
My childhood friend has been struggling from mental health issues for the past 2-3 years. She refused to see a therapist (even had a fight with her parents about it), but she’s comfortable talking with me, so I’ve taken on the role of unofficial therapist.
We normally talked at my house after school, but I was working on college applications at the time and dealing with mental health issues and family troubles of my own, so I told her that I didn’t have time anymore.
We still talked at school, and she seemed okay with that, but after a few weeks she started calling me late at night and showing up unannounced. Whenever I said I was busy, she‘d wait at my doorstep until I let her in out of guilt.
I eventually told her to talk to her parents and find a real therapist, but she said that she hates her parents and doesn’t trust therapists. She also didn’t want to speak to her other friends because “she didn’t want to bother them”.
Then I snapped and told her if she didn’t want to bother her friends, then why was I the exception? I said that I had my own problems and responsibilities to handle, and I couldn’t manage her mental state when my own wasn’t even stable.
She cut off all connections with me. Later her boyfriend messaged me and said that I shouldn’t have abandoned my friend when her problems became “too inconvenient” for me. I told him that I was never qualified to be a therapist in the first place, and that being one had made my own mental health problems worse. He said I was just making excuses. ###### | NTA - Her mental health isn't your responsibility. Putting that burden (and yes it is a burden to put your mental health on someone else) on you is horrible.
I get that it's hard for her, but it's not your job to help her. She's not going to get anywhere with her problems without getting a therapist. Also who TF is her boyfriend and why isn't HE helping her? Honestly fuck him. She's not your girlfriend, she's not even a good friend.
She's pressuring you to take on all her problems and it's obviously negative to your own health. Cut her off, she's toxic, tell her she can come back and talk to you when she starts acting like a grown up and agrees to go to therapy.
I have tons of friends who've gone through bad shit and yes, I've been there for them when they needed me, but they never dumped their shit on me and they reached out for help from therapist when they could. And they're doing great now. ###### |
So my husband (50) and I (47F) have four kids, two 13 year olds, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Both me and my husband work long hours, especially now because both our companies have been affected by everything going on. Despite this, my husband or I try to cook a healthy meal every night for the family. Usually we try and cook at home 6 nights a week and then eat out or sometimes get fast food on Fridays.
Sometimes though neither of us really want to cook, so we dont. We call these nights "fend for yourself night". The kids can really just make whatever they want, as long as they don't tear up to kitchen. This probably happens maybe once or twice a month at the most.
I personally think that the kids are old enough to cook their own food or make a sandwich. But according to a woman I know, I might as well be starving them. Shes very much a helicopter mom to her three kids, (15F, 17M, 20M) and still does almost everything for them. Even the 20 year old. I find this ridiculous but they arent my kids so I mind my own business. We were on the phone the other night and she asks why I am talking and not busy cooking. I told her that I was very tired from work so we were having a 'fend for yourself night' and I had just had cereal. She starts getting very agitated with me and asks me why I am starving my kids. I told her that my kids usually help cook every night so if they want, they can cook something but they probably are going to have cereal as well. She started getting very mad at me about not cooking my children a meal and how they are not going to be able to eat because I am such a bad and lazy mother. I ended up ending the call by telling her that maybe in her family her almost adult children cant cook a simple meal, but my children are more than capable of doing so. I do feel bad whenever both my husband and I are too tired to cook a meal for my kids but I feel like they should be old enough to get their own food right? AITA for 'starving my kids'? ###### | NTA - her kids will probably end up being the ones who burn ramen noodles in a college dorm because they never learned how to do anything for themselves.
Its not wrong to not cook every single night for your kids who are old enough to cook for themselves or make a sandwich. ###### |
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