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black_mirror_scripts_S1-5

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But he's the party leader.
It's too toxic.
(woman) Meanwhile as support for Gwendolyn Harris appears to
be dwindling, Labour denies the party is losing faith
in their young candidate but Miss Harris spent most of the
day locked in crisis talks at party head...
(turns TV off)
(radio) In the Stentonford by-election,
Waldo the cartoon bear continues to...
Did you see Gwendolyn Harris yesterday?
She looks like she's been poisoned.
Because he's gonna overtake her.
If that thing is the main opposition, then the
whole system looks absurd.
Which it may well be.
But it built these roads.
(knocks on door)
Just come in, Roy.
I'm sorry, okay?
It was wrong to speak to you like that...
After the campaign, I would've called you.
After the campaign.
All you've done is strengthen Monroe.
You won't win either, but I was at least attempting
to represent...
Well, I don't know, not just bollocks to everything.
If you were preaching revolution, that'd be something.
But you're not because that'd require courage and a mindset.
And what have you got?
Who are you?
What are you for?
Morning.
So final push.
You remind everyone that's got the app, that if they
recommend it to friends it unlocks a little fez for Waldo.
(Tamsin) We're here.
Attention shoppers.
I'm here to ask you an important favour. Gather round.
Come over here and listen.
Don't vote for me, I'm an insult. Seriously.
Vote for Monroe or Harris or I dunno,
UKIP or even that Lib Dem guy.
(woman) He's a prick!
Seriously, only an arsehole would actually vote for me.
What Is this, irony?
I'm worse than a wasted vote.
He's from the Harris campaign.
I mean it, you idiots! Don't vote for me!
Don't vote for me! Don't vote for me!
Don't vote for...
Booo!
Shut up.
No. Don't boo him, he's right! He's right.
- What are you doing? - Resigning.
Jamie.
Look! It's me, I'm Waldo.
This guy, whoever this guy is, he's a hero.
You should throw stuff at Waldo, he's bad bloody news.
- (woman) He's funny. - He's not.
Don't listen to that man, he's a lesbian. Ah!
- (laughing) - So remember,
the polls are open, and if you've got my app,
you can unlock new stuff like catchphrases and a little
hat n' that. Only an idiot wouldn't vote for me.
So question the status quo!
(Jamie) Kill it!
Kick them where it hurts!
The first man to hit him gets five hundred quid!
Yeah, that's right. Knock him down. Knock him down.
Smash it. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, Yeah.
Yeah.
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(TV) I the undersigned, being the returning officer for the
Stentonford and Hersham constituency, hereby give
notice that the total number of votes recorded for each
candidate at the election is as follows.
Finch, Simon Arthur. Liberal Democrats.
Two thousand four hundred and forty-nine.
(applause)
Harris, Gwendolyn Jodie. Labour.
Eleven thousand, two hundred and thirty-seven.
Monroe, Liam George Tennyson. Conservative.
Nineteen thousand, one hundred and sixty one.
Waldo, Independent.
(yelling)
Sixteen thousand seven hundred and eighty four.
(cheering)
Ladies, Ladies and gentlemen, please, I declare that Liam Monroe
is duly elected member of Parliament for the constituency.
(applause, booing)
(Waldo) Hey, hey everyone.
Five hundred quid to anyone who can lob a shoe!
(officer) Up you get, come on.
Come on!
Come on, out you go.
Come on.
(Chinese voice)
(officer) Oi!
(electricity crackles)
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